#because i know he would comfort me

[gardenofnoah]

cw: implied sexual trauma, panic attack, intimacy struggles

You don’t notice it happening until it’s buzzing under your skin. Loud and unavoidable, the only thing you can pay attention to is the irregular flutter of your heart and the way it seems that all the air has been vacuumed from the room—

“Hey.”

You blink, and Katsuki is no longer above you. He’s not touching you at all—you turn your head to find him next to you, propped up on an elbow and only worried.

“Too much?”

The panic flares at the question, because what if this is the last time? What if he’s tired of this?

Your exhale is shaky—your laugh is forced and sounds out of place. “No, it was fine, I just—“

“Oi—“ he says, gently, “tell me the truth.”

The truth burns your eyes and keeps them on the ceiling, away from his. You nod, helpless and resigned to whatever comes next.

“What’s goin’ on in your head?”

You feel the tears spill over before you can catch them. You swipe them away with the back of your wrist. It’s still numb. “I’m just sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin it.”

He grunts a little in acknowledgment—a displeased, ugly sound—and then there’s movement that finally draws your eyes to him. You watch him cover himself with your duvet—all the way up to his chin.

“S’it okay if I hold you?”

He reaches for you and you let him pull you in. His hands stay above your shoulders and pointedly avoid your neck—cradling your head, letting you hide in the curve of his throat. His pulse is steady and constant against your forehead—or you imagine it would be, if it wasn’t muted by the fabric.

“Nothin’ is ruined,” he murmurs against your hairline, “s’my job to keep you safe.”

Your chest shudders against the cushion of the blanket and you feel a little guilty about crying all over it but Katsuki keeps you there, tethered to him. The ringing in your ears subsides, just a little. Just enough to hear the panic in your own voice.

“I promise I want it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’m sorry—“

“Hey, hey,” he shushes you, careful not to tighten his arms around your shoulders. “Nothin’ to be sorry for. S’too much today—that’s all.”

It’s quiet, then, save for your sniffling. He keeps his mouth pressed to your hair, and his arms wrapped around you. There is a noticeable absence of his fingertips tracing along your skin—you don’t feel them there at all, and it’s on purpose. He’s considerate and it makes you anxious.

“Can hear you thinkin’.”

“I just—“ you inhale, trying to be brave, “I don’t want you to leave. I know I can’t—give you this—“

“Oi,” he gruffs, a little sharply, “I don’t give a shit about that. M’not a barbarian.”

You feel the expansion of his lungs as he draws in a slow exhale, and lets it out against the crown of your head. “Don’t think so little of me,” he murmurs, tone laced with hurt.

“You’re right,” you whisper, because he is, “I love you.”

“Love you.” He kisses it into your skin, soft and barely there. “Always will.”

#i have beat this horse to hell but I really do love writing about struggles with intimacy #because ~i~ struggle with intimacy and I write for me ya know #but idk i think it would be hard for him!! he just wants to care for me and keep me safe and i have a tendency to self sabatoge. #if you can believe that. #he just wants to help and he knows that what happened before him is not his fault of course. but it upsets him when I project onto him #which is like. a very human thing? #i have been thinking about that post from the other day a lot about believing the people that love you #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou hurt comfort #bakugou comfort #bakugou fic #mha fic #bkg it’s the little things

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Call that a Cave Story.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wen chao #wang lingjiao #mianmian #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #I had to cut the comic with JC 'holding WWX back from fighting the Wen Assholes' but it is with me in spirit. #It reads (to me) a little bit like JC is scared of Core Melting Hand and wants to have an excuse to hold on to WWX for comfort. #As far as I can recall they are around 15-17 in this arc. #And a guy who can rip out your golden core? The thing we know JC truly puts so much weight upon that he feels meaningless without it? #Yeah that's pretty terrifying. I hope WWX hugs back (he will not) #I have a lot more thoughts on Wang Lingjiao and Mianmian but I will keep them for later. #WLJ is a character I feel got done a little dirty because she has a ton of interesting potential that gets pushed aside for Mean Villainess #Let's be fully honest. Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao are *THE* characters the Protag of one of those 'Reincarnated as the villain!' stories #Set up to be assholes to the main character and meeting a horrible end in retribution. #Do you think MXTX thought about that? How Wen Chao is basically the original Shen QiugQiu? #Who's going to be the brave soul who writes A transmigrator in wen chao's body (accidently makes wwx fall in love with him) story? #Though If we are going with “any mxtx character sho dies transmigrates to another book” WHO is the transmigrator? #Hear me out. I think it should be Original Liu Qingge. I think he and wwx would make a funny duo and I want to see it so bad. #AND the contrast of womanizer Wen Chao VS 'What is a woman' LQG.

[ratcandy]

putting my entomology lessons to good use

#also sozo is now my beautiful Spouse my wonderful Partner as oppsoed to wife because the trans hc makes too much sense to me #in my brain. #and i don't know if (and bear with me here) sozo un-shroomed would be as comfortable ??????????with wife????// #i don't think he cared either way while Shroomed but un-shroomed. I am uncertain. I dunno. I am rotating him #maybe my midn will change on this in an instant. these are all split second headcanons based on my Knowledges. #ok normal again #clamart #cotl #cult of the lamb #cotl sozo #cotl lamb #cotl narinder #uh does this need a uh #cotl spoilers #<- for unshroomed Sozo? maybe #sozo

[fear-no-mort]

favourite thing: his new habit of saying uhuh/mhm and also this

#the first time he did it in unmortricken i was like Fuck Yes and little did i know he would just keep doing it the whole time #DESPERATELY hoping they keep both of these things. i Love when characters have tiny little habits sprinkled in their actions #to me these things kinda sorta symbolise him no longer being afraid to really be himself #like he no longer has to hide certain things about himself that inside of the cfc wouldve made him appear ‘suspicious’ #since he IS like so much different than any other morty ever #also barely related but like. em is fundamentally such a good character bc everytime we see him he’s feeling something different #in his first appearance he was cold and distant because at the time he was new to being free and was strictly focused on his goal and wasn’ #even sure if it would work #in his second appearance he seemed hopeful and honest both of these things just being a trap to get the people of the citadel to trust him #and his old colder self unfurling near the end after he successfully becomes president #in his third appearance he seems giddy almost. he’s constantly giggling before and after sentences and he’s super eager to just Get The Hel #Out. and also to reveal the truth to morty prime. make it so that he doesn’t have to be the one to shoulder everything anymore. #and this fourth appearance. apart from a few little details he really just seems happy and comfortable. the entire episode he was just doin #whatever he wanted and nobody got in his way at all. and i could not be happier #normal about this character! #rick and morty #evil morty #rick and morty spoilers #odiespeak

[sketchy-tour]

Okay listen I got distracted while working on my ask doodles. BUT LISTEN THIS IS SO SELF INDULGENT cause I was listening to an early 2000s playlist on spotify and realized... Reboot Wally would so be a blink 182 fan. And you SO know he would sing that mess at karaoke. A dork. I love him.

Reboot AU belongs to @/bloodrediscream (Man I do not need to tag them for just my silly doodles.

I WILL HOWEVER tag @kawaiialeisha because I feel like you'd appreciate this

#welcome home #welcome home puppet show #wally darling #welcome home arg #welcome home au #welcome home reboot au #reboot wally #reboot wally darling #reboot wally au #sketches #god I'm realizing this is gonna be a sketch spam tonight if I DO get these ask doodles done #yall got treated to so much finished art and now I'm just dumping my stupid scribbles down like that's the same thing #Maybe I should schedule posts instead of shoving them into the ether as soon as I finish them #idk I've never been good at this whole social media thing #*goes back to thinking about reboot au karaoke because karaoke is a comfort for me* #Look you KNOW Wally would think he looks SO COOL. He's put his heart and soul into that preformance #Pull someone up with him to sing to them in front of everyone because he thinks it's so smooth #it'd work I'd fall in love instantly #anyway *goes back to scribbling* #my art

[arthursfuckinghat]

"I was gonna say you're like a son to me.. but you're more than that."

"It ain't that complicated!"

How quickly that shoulder pat of comfort turned into a condescending one.

#he makes me feel so emo #this life was never meant for you but your fate was forced #the way dutch (and hosea) talks to arthur like he's stupid will never sit right with me #like they've been by his side over 20 years they KNOW he isn't stupid because if he was he would have been gone a long time ago #not only is arthur incredibly emotionally smart but he's a trained conman vault breaker gunslinger horse rider you name it #the fact that his own adoptive parents break him down like that hurts #it's a manipulation tactic on dutch's end - break your victims self esteem to make them chase your praise and approval #hosea I believe has just gone along with that kind of attitude but in a different way he just likes to jest lightheartedly #arthur doesn't see the difference though and it's understandable but he takes it to heart #the worst part is that hosea sees through his tough guy act and has called arthur out on it #his act is a defence mechanism to protect himself from being too vulnerable - in arthur's mind #and it isn't a sudden thing it's very likely something that has built over the years given the life he has lived #and hosea notices he knows this #but they still jab at arthur #oh it hurts #is he your son dutch? or is he your guard dog? your personal workhorse? #playing through the second time is opening my eyes more and more #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #mick squeaks #mick rants #mick gifs #arthur morgan #dutch van der linde #liveblogging #you guys gotta understand - arthur seeks and longs for dutch's approval he'll never say it but it's the key motive behind his loyalty #and arthur *rejects* dutch's comfort #he doesn't *want* dutch to pat him on the shoulder because he knows dutch is digging them an even deeper hole #he doesn't want that touch he craves #it's so insanely monumental for such a small scene because it shows us how arthur feels without telling us

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Chapter 110 is 13 pages long welcome to hell!!! so in a lot of ways this is just more fuel for a theory that I've had for a few weeks now, that's only gotten stronger with each recent season 5 episode, which is that the last episode of the season is gonna end on 110, and that Asagiri/Harukawa and Bones have been collaborating to make this happen, specifically because it's a major turning point that would be the only good place to end the season on.

When we started getting especially long chapters again (like from 25-35ish pages, with the exception of 107.5, the last two being some of the longest we've ever had), at first I just assumed that Asagiri/Harukawa got freed up from some other obligations they'd been having to cause the extremely short/half chapters, like promotional stuff for the anime/Beast movie, or working on light novels. But then 109 happened, with the "supposed" death of Dazai, and heavy emphasis at the end on how literally everyone is at their lowest point right now, and I got to thinking. 11 episodes is a strangely specific number for an anime season -- why not 12, or 13, or even 10, like you'd usually see? Why have we gotten suddenly gotten two 35 page chapters out of nowhere, that's almost unheard of at this point? They're both beautiful chapters, don't get me wrong (as always), and maybe A/H simply just didn't want to cut them in halves because they felt like the full emotional impact wouldn't hit/that there were no good cutoff points in them, but you can't deny that it's surprising, after all the shorter chapters we've been getting. Why has the anime been going at such insanely breakneck pacing for the most part ever since around the Sunday Tragedy chapters, even more so than it has in the past? So much so that it feels dangerously close to overtaking the manga?

Well, maybe, just maybe, it's because..... Asagiri decided a long time ago that whatever happens in 110 is the only point that feels "season finale"-worthy enough, in an arc that still isn't anywhere close to being completely wrapped up, and so both the manga and the anime have been specifically coordinated to reach that part within 2 and a half weeks of each other?

I've seen a lot of people now think season 5 will end with 109, and as much as my sadistic side would find that hilarious, I honestly don't think they'd do that and realistically don't want it to happen; it'd be so cruel to cliffhanger the anime for years like that, and just doesn't feel like a season cliffhanger BSD would do, a series that is ultimately hopeful and uplifting. Seasons 2 and 3 had a positive, conclusive ending; the only reasons seasons 1 and 4 didn't was because they're technically not really full seasons of their own, and are more like the first cour of another "season" that also came out that same year (seasons 1 and 2 both aired in 2016, so they're more like one big season, and seasons 4 and 5 have both aired this year, so they're also more like one big season, again taking into account how episodes 12 and 50 are not satisfying finales like episodes 24, 37, and hypothetically, 61, are). I really can't see season 5 ending with Dazai and Fukuzawa's supposed deaths, Sigma being unconscious and maybe close to death, Atsushi being vulnerable and limbless again, everyone we love still vampires, and the entire world being basically doomed; that's just too depressing and not like BSD at all. However, having said that, if it doesn't end there, there really isn't any good place to end the season before that, either, that feels in any way satisfying or like a finale at all. And so, to me, that only leaves after 109: chapter 110.

I think things are really gonna turn around next chapter. Like I said, everyone is at their lowest point right now, it cannot possibly get any worse, the framing of Dazai, Fukuzawa, and sskk at the end of 109 is telling us that; this is the time for the heroes to finally start winning again, with Aya being so close to pulling out the sword, and for all the thematic reasons other people have talked about to death that I don't need to go into here again. This upcoming chapter being so short again makes a part of me wary of 110 being "the one", so to speak, I won't lie, but at the same time, it's very possible that it needs to be that short because that's all the final episode of the season will be able to reasonably fit in, since it's already gonna be VERY close if they do make it all the way to 109. And at the end of the day, I don't doubt at all that Asagiri and Harukawa can make these the most monumental and game-changing mere 13 pages ever if they wanted to; a chapter does not at all need to be extremely long in order to be an important and impactful one, even if short ones we've gotten in the past haven't felt the most important.

An additional thought I've had, though this is much more crack territory than all this already is, is that since we know from Anime Expo that a Stormbringer movie at some point is highly likely (judging from Asagiri's reaction when someone brought it up), it's possible that chapter 110 and thus the final episode will involve the long-anticipated return of Verlaine and/or Adam, or at least some other major reference to Stormbringer, that would naturally and smoothly lead into a Stormbringer movie to explain things to people who haven't read the novel. It would make a lot of sense, especially since the s4 OP has the Old World sign behind Chuuya, which might be a hint that this has been in the works ever since seasons 4/5 were first in planning with Asagiri. We also know that Dazai and Chuuya's voice actors apparently struggled to record their lines together this season, which probably relates to 101 and possibly 109, but it could be 110 too.... I could be very wrong, as I'm no expert on this kind of thing, but I kinda doubt they would bring Chuuya's actor in for just the vampire growls, and Asagiri placing heavy emphasis on Chuuya's importance this season in that one interview gives me the impression that he's talking about much more than just 101/109. But that's the least solid evidence I have, that's just mostly based on vibes I get.

So basically, I think a lot of factors -- the unusual episode count, how close the anime is to catching up to the manga with three whole episodes left, the seemingly arbitrary recent chapter lengths, and the climactic events of 109 -- can tell us that 110 might be a very, VERY big deal. Again, there's of course no way this arc is anywhere near close to being finished, with so much left to address and resolve, but since it is currently incomplete in the manga, unlike the previously adapted arcs, if the anime was going to adapt it at all, they'd have to find a place that feels satisfying enough to end this season, knowing there won't be more anime for a long time after this, and so I think they specifically planned for that, from both Bones' and A/H's sides. 10 episodes might not have been enough to reach that point, but 12 or 13 might have been too many it wouldn't have been if Bones actually decided to slow down and let the story breathe the way it needs to, but this post isn't meant to criticize the anime, so maybe 11 was just right. And maybe Asagiri and Harukawa specifically pushed to make recent chapters longer than usual, in order to make sure that the manga reached the story content in 110 the monthly release right before season 5 was to end.

Is this just copium? Absolutely. Am I going to look like an absolute clown in two days when this post ages like milk? Probably. But the evidence is There, so let me just enjoy my delusions until Sunday, okay 🥂🫡

#bungou stray dogs #seriously call me a clown and point and laugh at me if I'm proven wrong all you want #but I really feel like there's solid evidence for this #either s5 isn't gonna reach 109 at all (but I seriously cannot fathom where you would want to stop before then) or they'll go beyond it #if they really do end it with 109....... well i'll give Bones kudos for having the balls to do that ig lol #maybe i'm underestimating (overestimating???) them idk #also just to clarify I don't wanna make it sound like I think Asagiri let the anime/Bones dictate the manga's pacing #like I'm sure these were his/their (him and Harukawa's) own decisions first and foremost #not that (if this theory is true) the anime had a major impact on how the chapters were split and that it- #-would have been extremely different otherwise #i'm pretty confident in that Asagiri does not do anything with BSD he isn't comfortable with #and he doesn't let anyone tell him how to write his story #I just feel like he worked with Bones to make this near-simultaneous release happen #BUT if this is the case I don't feel like it had any major effect on the writing/final product that is the manga #like the last handful of chapters have been so incredible #so I at least am still perfectly happy lol #(i mean i'm devastated and a nervous wreck but u know 🫡 in a good way lmao) #anyway 110 in two days please let this theory be true because I need some fucking hope already #please let Oda show up as Dazai's guardian angel to help (see what I did there-) #it would be the perfect way to end the collective season that is 4/5 with s4 beginning with Oda and now ending with Oda #Asagiri are you reading me are you picking up what I'm putting down please please a ghost Oda is long overdue please- #Oda Verlaine Adam just GIVE ME SOMEONE ALREADY 😭😭😭 #MAYBE EVEN A TASTE OF THE FYODOR BACKSTORY TO TIE INTO HIM BEING IN ANIME UNTOLD ORIGINS. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS

[blindmagdalena]

Heeyy a bit of a self indulgent ask here but I had a phobia/trauma trigger today and it caused me to have a messy sobbing panic attack. Do you have anything on how Homelander would deal with his s/o having a panic attack like that? almost completely inconsolable. I know this is self serving and indulgent and I’m sorry for over sharing homelander is a comfort character for me and you write him exquisitely. If you’re not comfortable with this just ignore

Homelander was sixteen when he had his first panic attack. He'd flown further and faster away than he'd ever had the freedom to and collapsed in a dense woodland, sobbing and rocking his body against the cool forest floor.

He'd pulled his hair so hard it should have come loose, grit his teeth so tightly they should have cracked, and choked so badly on his own constricting throat that it should have caved in.

They didn't. He's invulnerable, after all. As solid as marble.

It was the first attack, but not the last.

That's how he recognizes it so quickly in you.

"Hey," he says, ears attuned to the rabbit-like pound of your heart. "Heyy, hey, it's okay. I'm right here, you see me? Hey." He's only just found you, he doesn't know yet what your trigger was, but he can ascertain that later.

Your staccato breaths and sharp sobs, the sea salt smell of tears streaking your cheeks, are nearly enough to rouse his own panic by proxy. He needs it to stop. He needs you to stop. He cares about you too much for you to scare him like this.

"Hey, you hear me?" He asks, cupping either side of your face. You can't answer through it. Your tongue is gnarled with panic and you're sobbing so hard he fears you'll choke yourself on it. He's not even sure you see him.

He takes you into his arms, one moving smoothly around your waist while the other cups the back of your head. He holds gently at first, grip gradually tightening, compressing your body against his in the hopes that the hammer of your heart will meet and match the steady beat of his own.

"Sssshhhhhhh," he shushes by your ear, lifting you just enough to keep you on your feet, but take from you the weight of your own body.

"I've got you. Whatever it is, it's okay. It's okay. I've got you. M'gonna take care of it, alright? Ssshh," he says, rocking you the same way he used to rock himself in the corner of the bad room, soothing himself with the thump of his own skull against those sterile white walls.

He knows it's working when you slip your arms around him in turn. He continues to hush you, whispering more honeyed assurances in your ear, the core sentiment always the same.

I'm here. You're safe. I love you.

It's everything he can think that he always wanted to hear in these moments of raw, horrifically human weakness.

Eventually, your breaths begin to even out, though your heart continues to thunder in his ears, still convinced that the danger hasn't yet vanished. He tries not to take that personally and scoops you up the rest of the way into his arms.

"That's it, just like that," he coos, pressing a firm kiss to your forehead. "Breathe. Breathe. Good... Light as a feather now, okay? Like you can fly," he tells you, sharing the greatest comfort he's ever known. His only real escape has always been his weightlessness, the ability to shed gravity at will. He uses his strength in an attempt to share even a sliver of that sense of freedom with you.

Maybe it works, maybe it doesn't. All he knows is that your heart starts to slow alongside the flow of your tears. He kisses your wet cheeks, the bridge of your nose, your forehead. He whispers praise and love with each one, voice barely above a whisper.

"I'm sorry," you choke out. He's appalled that would be your first instinct.

"Don't," he says firmly, though his voice is still low. "Don't. I can carry it for you. Carry you. What's the point of super strength otherwise?" He murmurs, a smile playing at the edges of his lips.

You almost smile back, and that's enough for him. He kisses the crease between your brows until it smooths, and the highs of your cheeks until the tears dry up, and your lips until they're ready to speak again.

He'll hold you for as long as it takes your body to realize the threat was only ever in your mind, and that there isn't a thing in this goddamn world he would ever let hurt you.

#i'm so sorry you experienced that today my darling ilu #i hope this helps i tried to get it out asap #he would take such good care because he knows what it's like to be fucked up by your own body #you don't ever have to apologize to me i promise #i'm all for self-indulgence and comfort #you're welcome and safe here!!! #homelander x reader #homelander x you #x reader #darling anon #ask and you shall receive #my writing

[bumblingbabooshka]

B'Elanna, Neelix, Tuvok and Chakotay needed to star in an episode where they just talked about their different beliefs and approaches to spirituality/religion. Paired off and all together. I need to gain more insight. I need characterization and I need it to be messy.

#B'Elanna's difficulty with Klingon myths and religion (especially due to her internalized racism) #Chakotay's current strong belief in his own spirituality despite his initial complete rejection of it (and how B'Elanna seems to admire #and have talked with Chakotay about it extensively in the past given how many specifics she's aware of) #Neelix's belief in an afterlife being the only thing that comforted him after his entire family was killed - the knowledge that he would be #able to reunite with them again and that knowledge being ripped away from him #Does he still believe? Are there other aspects of his previous spiritual beliefs that are thrown into question? #Just because it isn't 'real' does it make it unimportant? How do we even know whether or not it's 'real'? #He died and doesn't remember reaching that tree and seeing his family - does that mean it didn't happen? #Tuvok's line in 'Innocence' about how he's begun to have doubts about whether or not a katra exists and what happens after someone dies #and his firm ties to Vulcan spirituality and ritual #ALL SO INTERESTING!!!!!!!! #star trek voyager #I don't think it'd be a calm or healthy conversation either - they're not therapists and I don't think anyone but Chakotay #would be particularly careful with his words #and before you say Tuvok's a Vulcan so he would be let me remind you that Tuvok told B'Elanna to her face that he thought Klingons #were basically savages - he is INDELICATE to say the least #Neelix is careful with his words bc he's a people pleaser for survival but also he has a tendency to bother people and be overly pushy #and I think he'd do a lot of research and be the one leading the conversation/the reason they get on the topic and continue on it #B'Elanna wouldn't want to talk about it. She wants to talk about it the least. But she must!!!! Bc the episode demands it!! #st voy

[nostalgia-tblr]

"are people not into that?" i ask, after posting my weird niche shit to the internet, despite knowing it to be weird niche shit.

#jsyk sylkius or anything adjacent to it does not “Do Numbers” in any way and i observed this some time ago #i assume that's the “rival ships” element at work but who knows really #that sort of thing is like femslash in that everyone approves of it but nobody actually reads or writes it #but who would have thought sylvie beating loki with a stick would not bring in droves of readers???! shocking twist there! #& i don't consider sifki a rarepair but my rarepair standards are VERY strict like if there's >5 fics a pairing is basically mainstream #chasing popularity would annoy me though & i just don't have the mental spoons to try writing stuff i wouldn't personally read #yeah i *could* put my blorbos to work in a coffee shop but what cost to my own enjoyment levels? AT WHAT COST FANGELA??? #you can't please everyone so you may as well just please yourself and if anyone else likes it you've found some fellow freaks so yay #i don't mean please yourself in a wanking sense. though feel free to do that too it probably counts as a cardio workout idk. #BUT ANYWAY #fic related #ps i am v glad there's the “warning: loki” tag because i think/hope it acts as a filter for 'he did nothing wrong in his life ever' types #who are Valid & etc obviously but i write my morally grey characters to be morally grey and the tag might help avoid conflict #though tbh i write almost every character to be morally grey in some way so i can't claim to have left my comfort zone here #(i'm not joking when i say the 1987-89 run of Dr Who shaped my entire future fannish life from a young and apparently v impressionable age)

[miradorjake]

while I understand what this person is saying….the difference in how their partners are treated makes no sense to me lmao. I have seen the other partners (some who might argue are just as if not more private than josh’s) be included in fic??? with tabs kept on all of them to the point where fans even notice *instagram comments* left from them???? it’s so funny that only josh gets this kind of treatment when every other relationship (hannah doesn’t count) is obsessed over by fans…..

we don’t know for sure what jenny was to danny and yet why do I still see people casually mentioning her and posting about what she’s up to when her socials were private too while she was with him????? she was clearly very private and yet……?? people obsessed over talking about them…..

respecting their privacies should be happening, but respect all of them? the same? 😭 josh’s partner is treated like a curse if he’s mentioned which is pretty respectful ig, but why are there tiktoks of other partners along to the sound of “she’s getting that dick” like it’s just SO so fucking weird to me that this fandom does not respect women no matter what and has also treated josh so oddly when he came out 😭

#if ron’s photos were taken from a private account and leaked then that’s absolutely one thing but I will never get over just how weird this #fandom acts towards josh the second they learned he has a male partner 💀 #if you’re going to play the respect card (which is appreciated/should be the standard as fans) you need to respect ALL of their partners??? #if you’re weird about only josh………it’s actually weird :’) #ok rant over #I just cannot handle hypocrisy 😭 #god josh himself is going to post wedding photos one day to his instagram and fans are going to be so weird about them 😭😭😭 #respect josh’s privacy always but don’t basically re-closet him after coming out??? I just do not understand it #(in the terms of him posting wedding photos…not rn because he doesn’t share much of his private life still) #but if he had an issue with ron’s photos they literally would not have been posted ?????? ron adds all fans as friends and his facebook is #very public……..he’d know what josh is and isn’t comfortable with 😭 #also don’t twist my words bc clearly if you’re cropping josh OUT and only posting his partner that is so fucking weird 🧍🏻‍♀️like. #just be normal!!!! just be normal oh my god #you don’t even have to make 3738392938 tweets like this like literally just be normal and leave ALL of their partners alone 😭 #except miss hannah because she might die from lack of attention 💔 #also ignore me bc I have to run my mouth or *i’ll* die #also hate to be that bitch but *some* treatment towards josh really is homophobic lmfao but I will not get into that rn when I have already #yapped this much <3

[moeblob]

Windy at my house + power flickering = no comm work = quick laptop doodle

#my characters #i genuinely hoped the wind would die down but like ??? nah? #and the last time we lost power without an actual storm it WAS bc of wind #and so i just get so panicked over please dont fry my tablet with a power surge #if it calms down by tonight i really wanna work on art since i spent almost all day yesterday struggling with a pose and i finally #think i thought of something that could work and then (gestures to the wind) fuck me #also in regards to these two you have seen me drawing deacon a lot recently and i only drew armya once so far #she is a devoted follower to fulj which is really rare since fulj no longer has a large following nor a temple #so when fulj finds her its comforting and reassuring and she adores armya a lot #however the fact that fulj relentlessly teases deacon and calls him names is like..... ok wait would you really be mean to me if it wasnt #for her ? like would you still pick on me? :c and shes like lol yeah dude absolutely #deacon is just constantly dunked on by the lightning group and hes so sad because he wanted to be friends :c #but also the guy wouldnt really recognize the followers if it wasnt for the traces of lady fulj #so if they would wander into the city without having been possessed recently he probably wouldnt even cast a glance their way #nothing personal he just straight up doesnt decipher looks fast at all #he could think they look familiar but then not know why ESPECIALLY if they wear something he's not used to them in #like if armya showed up in something other than her loose white jacket he would not be able to go AH YES ARMYA immediately #he identifies people by hair or clothing details so it kinda messes him up if people remove whatever identifying trait they have #long hair getting a hair cut? suddenly a whole new person #and armya knows this very well since he never looked her way unless fulj was possessing her or trailing her #so she does like to tease him as just. we are both in servitude to a deity and same rank but like. bro youre too easy to mock #(fulj agrees)

[aphoticforest]

As the want to be representative of the Permafrostshipping tag, I figure I should share the full image to my profile + a more recent commission I got... So, here's what I bought from @cheetuspeepus! The first one was back in March, and the second one was pretty recently :D (goes to show how long they've stayed in my mind)

#permafrostshipping #rika x grusha #grusha x rika #rgu reference #grusha getting bullied by me twice because i think it's funny seeing him in s dress #but i mean he *does* look good in them soo #oh one thing i will admit is that the first image still is my phone home screen #i know i dont need to give a reason for commissioning a certain person but it mattered to me with these #i felt comfortable with cheetus because she shipped them as well and i would feel less embarrassed for my commission ideas than- #if i went to someone who was neutral about the ship. not that people would make fun of someone wanting to commission them but you never know #basically i get random anxiety over dumb stuff #anyway im rambling so im just going to actually post this instead of stalling

[baldurs-gate-official]

Thinking about how Astarion insisted on staying up to keep watch in the beginning of the game

Yeah, it could be because he needs to go hunt at night without anyone noticing, or because he's keeping an eye out for Cazador/his minions. But... It could also be because he's scared of sleeping/trancing in general?

He's got severe C-PTSD. I have that too. And one of the things I experience from it is a fear of falling asleep.

Sleeping is vulnerability. You're completely defenseless. It's terrifying to fall asleep when you're used to danger! And some abusers will purposefully do things to you when you sleep. I wouldn't put it past Cazador to have done something like that.

It's especially terrifying when you're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, or as out and open as a forest. With strangers.

Add in the elvish reverie (if we assume Astarion still experiences it as he would if he were alive at his current age)... and he might even be reliving horrible memories every time he tries to rest.

(If you're unfamiliar with elvish trancing/dreaming, I made a post about it and some ways it might affect Astarion as a vampire spawn a while ago)

One of the reasons I think this could be the case is actually the other spawn, specifically what I noticed when we first meet Dalyria and Petras. At first I thought Astarion's eye bags were just a product of being undead. But... Petras, the very human looking spawn, doesn't have that. Dalyria is an elf as well, and like Astarion, she's got some of that tired sleep-deprived purple under and around her eyes.

So all this considered... I think it's very possible that Astarion has a fear of sleeping too. Or at the very least, trouble resting. Him and the other elvish spawn.

It also makes me wonder if he sleeps any better later on in the game. By Act 3 he probably feels more comfortable with you and the group. Sleeping near familiar people (especially people you're very comfortable with, but that's very dependant on your own choices in your game), and having established night time routines can make sleeping feel a little safer.

Plus by that point he's made many new memories he can visit in his reverie. Maybe instead of remembering the terrible things, sometimes he dreams of sun bathing, the first time he bit you or that bear, or any other happy memory he's created since being tadpoled.

Maybe for the first time in centuries, sleeping isn't such a terrible prospect.

#bg3 #astarion #text post #its just something thats been on my mind #my fear of sleep is bad enough that i usually cant fall asleep without pushing myself to the point of passing out #or sometimes i need to take a sedative just to manage it #so i wonder how bad it is for him given that he doesnt have the option of sedation #it makes for some interesting headcanons/ideas though #pretty sure a druidic Tav can offer to put together an herbal tea to help him sleep #what if that sort of thing worked and it became a nightly routine? #i assume he can drink tea given that he can drink alcohol #or if you've romanced him #would sleeping near Tav help? #i know sometimes its easier for me to sleep when im around someone im comfortable with #though sometimes it has the opposite effect and it makes it harder to sleep because i feel like i need to be extra alert to protect them #trauma really does a number on you #act 3 spoilers #bg3 act 3 spoilers #astarion spoilers #bg3 spoilers #q

[puppyeared]

you seem like the. kind of person who I'd run into during a rock concert while I'm trying to find bathroom and notably you are dressed kind of oddly for the concert (see: divorced dad outfit. hawaiian shirt. jorts. chunky sandles. giant sun hat.) and so I ask you "hello, do you know where I can find the bathroom?" and you go "yeah sure!!" and you point me the complete opposite direction from the bathroom. not on purpose, but because you also have no idea where the bathroom is. I thank you and go on my way, both of us oblivious to the fact we are currently very much not at a rock concert. it's an idie band that just screams really loud. sorry if that's specific you just give me giant 'perpetual tourist that isn't really a tourist and has never left their home city but just seems like a tourist anyways' energy

naw thats a pretty reasonable impression id say

#thank you for this i can very clearly see all of this happening whehghfdg #ive actually never been to a concert of any kind before!! id love to go see cavetown in person cuz hes the only one i actually consistently #listen to. but the dude only has his tours either in europe or the states orz #BUT if you did ask me where you could find a certain type of fish in the aquarium i could almost definitely get it right #only cause ive been to the aquarium enough times to memorize the galleries but forgetful enough to be surprised every single time #“yeah sure!!” is also a SPOT ON RESPONSE. not a “its that way” or “head there and turn left”. yeah sure is more on point than u could know #one time i was at the beach ogling these tiny fish and some guy asked me hows the water and i said theres tiny fish here!! #which did not answer his question and was so far off and its happened so many times that i think ive accepted it #ask #answered #yapping #doodles #puppysona #i also know deep in my soul i would dress oddly for a concert because 1) almost all the clothes in my closet are at least 8 years old #and 2) im very picky and wear for comfort rather than something i could actually use for certain outings. like a concert #i literally have a sweater that says baddie in fancy font and i only bought it because its REALLY FUNNY and it was like $12

[synonymroll648]

from a vibes perspective, i totally understand why so many people look at keefe and go ‘this guy would be the male equivalent of a wine aunt when he’s older’. 

but. but. 

taking lore into consideration, in my heart, he’s terrified of alcohol (even if he tries really hard to hide it). because. like. his first exposure is almost guaranteed to be through cassius, and cassius canonically threw a glass extremely close to him at least once when he was, like, 8. maybe cassius wasn’t always extra nasty when he was drunk, but there’s gotta be a correlation in keefe’s brain between risking getting seriously hurt (emotionally or physically) and alcohol consumption that’s really hard for him to shake. 

#tw alcohol #tw child abuse mentions #lmk if there's more trigger warnings i should put #i have a thing for hurt/comfort lmao #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #this is brought to you by: #that one fic my brain started writing internally where it's sophie's 21st bday and she's like man i #have saved the world so many times we've all lost count. i want a fucking drink #and keefe's internally like OH GOD OH FUCK in a bad way but externally he's like yeah babe whatever you want!! #and then she's like. i don't wanna do anything super stupid though. and drinking alone is super stupid when you've never drank before #will you stay w/ me? please? #and keefe's like. i cannot say no to that face #so he spends the night doing an increasingly bad job of hiding how bad he's freaking out #because sophie is a safe space and alcohol is not safe and he doesn't know how to deal w/ the two colliding #ESPECIALLY since sophie's just getting dorkier and sweeter as her filter goes down instead of throwing insults or objects at him #(i feel like sophie would be the kind of drunk that's very impulsive and says EVERYTHING that comes to the forefront of her mind #and stellarlune was more than enough to prove that she sees keefe and a lot of the time her brain just goes hnnngh soft little tortured #artist. MY soft little tortured artist.) #yeah but even intoxicated sophie can tell something's wrong even before he flinches super obviously at an empty glass falling over w/o #breaking. and so she's like nah man it's hurt/comfort time and he's like BUT YOUR BIRTHDAY and she's like do you really think i'm #gonna just let go of the fact that i know you're stressed? i'm not a dickhead keefe #so yeah it ends in cuddles. because of course it does #keefe sencen #annnnd out of the drafts this goes. post!