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#because however awful it sounds if i'm bi there's still a chance i end up with a man meaning there is still a chance of not disappointing
ronanlynchbf · 3 years
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so we’re doing this again, huh?
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#hello and welcome this week on another episode of questioning my sexuality: am i actually attracted to men or am i convincing myself i am#because however awful it sounds if i'm bi there's still a chance i end up with a man meaning there is still a chance of not disappointing#my parents while if i'm a lesbian the option of not disappointing my parents is completely out the window#like. is it my parents' expectations and heteronormative standards that are making me convince myself i'm actually attracted to men?#because at this point i really don't know anymore#all those uquizzes where you have to pick a man i always pick the ones that look the prettiest but does that mean i pick the ones that i am#attracted to or does that mean i pick the ones i think are pretty but am not attracted to because i am not attracted to men#like the women quizzes are at the same time way more difficult because there are too many good options and almost all of the women on the#quiz are soooooooo attractive so it's hard to pick and then at the same time it's easier bc i am actually attracted to women and it's very#easy to pick one out of the 3-5 options while with men it's always harder. and not like in a / there are too many good options \ way but a#/ i don't know which one to pick \ way like genuinely a lot of the time i am literally just. not attracted to the men on the quiz but idk#if that's just me being particular and picky or if i'm just not attracted to men#then again i do think like. dev patel and manish dayal and jungkook and steven yeun and zayn are attractive. but like. is that me thinking#they are attractive or is it me being attracted to them like i never know which one it is#my attraction toward women feels different from my attraction toward men and i don't know what to make of that#i KNOW i'm attracted to women like that's crystal clear to me now but i'm SO doubtful about being attracted to men#like i think i'm attracted to men? but i'm really not sure???#anyway. i'll figure it out eventually i have the rest of my life to. just want to stop constantly doubting myself 😔#🔮.txt
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faulty-writes · 4 years
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Hi there! I'm not sure if this fits the request, but if it's okay, could I request Muriko with a female s/o coming out as Bi. Like nobody expected it, then Muriko is like "HELL YEAH, THAT'S MEANS A CHANCE FOR ME" and asks her out last minute before some guy did.
[ So, I got your other message saying you wanted a one-shot and the plot you laid out. Just so you know, I only watch the anime. I don’t read the manga...yet. So I’m basically winging our little Bunny girl. But, I hope you enjoy nonetheless. ] 
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Being a sidekick might not be glorious, but it had its advantages. You were recognized for one, praised for your help, and when you distanced yourself from your hero and bravely fought against the villains. Held down your own. Your hero rank rose, just a little. Given you were more than happy to be working alongside Mirko, the often overexcitable, rule-breaking, bunny hero. Of course, many were surprised when Mirko announced she’d be taking a sidekick as she preferred to work solo most of the time.
Teamwork wasn’t her style as many would say, yet that didn’t stop the thousands of sidekicks that flocked to her Agency in hopes to pass the audition and get the spot next to her. You weren’t a well-known hero, you worked a regular day job and merely got your hero license so you could protect others when needed. But you were nothing compared to the Pros out there, still, you felt as though you needed a change and forced yourself to go to the audition.
Though it was a little intimidating considering most of the sidekicks that were present, had a good record, and were rather high in popularity while you...were not. But somehow or another, Mirko had chosen you out of the bunch. For what reason, was unknown and while you had tried to get an answer from her. She’d only smirk and point her finger at you, “What’s it matter eh!? I chose you and that’s all! Be happy there, pretty face!” she’d always slap you on the back after and you’d groan, she hit hard even when she wasn’t trying.
There was something strange about Mirko that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. Given she was a beautiful and sometimes reckless woman, you often felt her stare on you whenever you returned to the Agency and somehow or another, whenever you got hurt. It seemed like she was more concerned about your well-being, even if she had gotten a few bruises herself. Whenever you were walking up to her and she was in the middle of a conversation with someone else.
The moment she saw you, her eyes would light up and she’d pull you close. You’d always choke when her arm pressed against your neck. She was a little rough around the edges. “There she is! My little kickass sidekick! Isn’t she just adorable? Huh, huh!?” you’d always get embarrassed, it was almost like Mirko wanted to show you off. But you weren’t some sort of doll, even though you owed the hero a lot.
If it weren’t for her you wouldn’t have gotten a taste of the spotlight. You were happy to serve under her and even protect her when you needed to, not that she needed it. At all. But you liked to pretend you could protect your hero. Regardless, being around Mirko was like being around a completely different type of energy. Which you didn’t necessarily mind, but sometimes it became too overwhelming and you needed your own space.
On days like this, you would often shy away from Mirko and spend time with your coworkers. The fellow people that made this Agency run smoothly, though one male employee seemed awfully interested in you. “Where’s Mirko? Aren’t you usually with her after a mission is completed?” he questioned and you shrugged, “Sometimes I just need a break, Mirko is great and all but…” you paused as you finished putting quarters into the machine and pressed the drink you wanted.
The machine made a noise but dispensed no drink. “Huh? Oh, cheap piece of junk!” you snapped and slammed your fist against it. “Damn it, I don’t have any change left…” you muttered as you reached into your empty pockets as if coins would magically appear. “Hey that’s alright, I got you.” you blinked and looked at your fellow coworker. “Wait...really?” you questioned as he got up and stepped in front of the soda machine.
“Yeah, consider it a thank you for protecting the city and...just because you’re cute.” you felt a little uneasy as he winked at you, was he trying to flirt? Meanwhile, Mirko was becoming a little restless. Eagerly tapping her foot against the floor, “Where the hell is she? Where’s my sidekick!? Her attractive ass should be here with me…” Mirko spoke with a soft growl and the receptionist nearby noticed the unusual behavior.
“I believe she said something about getting a drink, try the soda machine down the hall,” they suggested and Mirko turned to glare at them. “I could have bought her a drink…” she muttered before stomping away, her tail angrily twitching. “Hm?” when she caught the sound of your voice her ears perked up a bit, however, she also picked up someone else’s voice. “Ah, what the hell.” she groaned, though she hated to admit it.
She often got jealous when you, her precious little sidekick, talked to others. Yeah, yeah you had every right to. But Mirko still considered you hers. Even though she knew she didn’t have a chance, which sucked. She narrowed her eyes once she had you in view and couldn’t help but cross her arms with a huff. This is the kind of man you chose to flirt with or rather that you attracted?
She could easily beat any suitor that was after you that is if...if only you weren’t fucking straight. She had half a mind to walk over there and smash the man’s face in, but unfortunately as a hero that wouldn’t be good for her image. Instead, she stood there in the shadows. Deciding to eavesdrop on the conversation with a frown on her face, you sounded like you were having a good time talking to him. Didn’t she make you happy too? She growled softly, feeling her stomach twist with jealousy.
“Aw, come on! You gotta eat don’t you? We can just consider it a business lunch...” you couldn’t help but chuckle, he tried so hard. Though you always turned him down, you didn’t exactly understand why he always tried to flirt with you. There were other female coworkers he could spend time with, your time, in particular, was dedicated to Mirko.
“I’m not really hungry, but thank you for the offer,” you replied, making the man drop his shoulders in disappointment. “Is it me?” he questioned, “I mean...it must be me, right? I’m no big strong hero. I just work here as part of the insurance company tied to Mirko’s Agency.” you wanted to roll your eyes, part of you hated when others played the role of the victim when it wasn’t necessary. You took a deep breath and shook your head.
“I don’t care about looks or status, hell I don’t even care about gender. I swing both ways, but the point is. I’m not too sure if you’re my type and well…” you paused when you noticed the strange looks you were getting. The few coworkers that surrounded you seemed wide-eyed and you weren’t really sure why. Was it something you said? “Uh, you guys okay?” you questioned, however, Mirko seemed rather overjoyed.
Practically clamping down on her lip to prevent herself from screaming out in happiness. YES. So her attraction to you wasn’t wrong! Hah, perhaps she shouldn’t have doubted herself so much. After all, she could turn the straightest of women into bunny lovers. That is if she really tried, but now she had a clear mission. She wouldn’t let anyone else have you, by the end of the day. You’d be telling everyone “I’m Mirko’s girlfriend.” she chuckled to herself as she rubbed her hands together.
“Oh fuck yeah! You’re gonna be mine.” she declared before pumping her fist in the air. Of course, there were obstacles in the way and she’d take care of one right now. She grinned as she kicked off the ground, skillfully maneuvering her body so her legs were straight out. You didn’t even register she was above you until you watched her land on your coworker. He gave a cry as his face was implemented into the floor, leaving behind a large dent.
Your jaw immediately dropped and you looked horrified, but Mirko was smiling. Like she had done something worthy of being praised. “Hi there, pretty face,” she said before brushing a piece of her hair back. “Come, let’s get lunch.” she insisted before grabbing your wrist and dragging you along, unlike most. You knew better than to argue with Mirko. Despite the fact you weren’t hungry, Mirko insisted on sharing a plate. That wasn’t like her seeing as the woman typically liked her food and she even bought you a drink.
Though you had tried to argue it was too early to drink, she laughed your words off and you got a little buzzed. The rest of the day after lunch was typical. You stayed at the agency and filled out the necessary forms from your patrol as well as spoke to the police and listened to the scanner in case any villains tried anything. It was a rather boring ending to the workday.
Mirko seemed rather intent on staying by your side and you weren’t too sure if you could trust that smile she wore and despite your best efforts to avoid her when leaving the agency. She caught up to you and once more insisted you go out to eat with her. “Look, I’m still a little dizzy from the first time we ate out so…” Mirko scoffed in response to your words and grinned before pulling you close.
“Come on! That’s a shitty attitude to have! I promise dinner with me is going to be amazing! I’ll spoil my little sidekick good!” she said before ruffling your hair. “And after, we can hit the bar! I’m sure your little ass can dance right?” you looked hesitant but once more you knew there was no chance in hell you could argue with her. “I don’t know about dance or if I can take any more alcohol…” you responded quickly before Mirko laughed and slapped your back, causing you to stumble forward.
“That’s quitters talk, pretty face! You gotta drink when you’re with me. We’ll have dinner at that exclusive restaurant, oh what the fuck is it called? I forget, but it doesn't matter.” she concluded before looking at you with a mischievous glance, “Uh...” you stepped away. “Just what are you…” you gasped when she quickly moved behind you and scooped you into her arms. You gave a squeak and your arms immediately wrapped around her neck.
Though you were a hero of sorts, you hated being off the ground. “Aw, what’s a matter? Are you scared?” Mirko teased and you growled, “Shut up!” you snapped, wondering what had gotten into the woman today. She usually wasn’t this touchy-feely or even insistent you spent time together like this. Then again, she was over-enthusiastic and did enjoy showing you off. So maybe you were merely overthinking things.
You held on tightly as she kicked off various buildings, sending both of you airborne and while you were terrified. The view of the night city was rather beautiful and almost put you at ease, in a way it made you feel like a damsel in distress. Being rescued and carried off by the hero, which more often than not was depicted as a male hero. Someone strong, brave, and handsome. Yet you were in the hands of a petite but strong and courageous woman who could handle her own.
Though, if that were true then why did she feel the need to have you around in the first place? What was her want in getting a sidekick in the first place? Once more you were reminded that you had never gotten an official answer from her. “Mm…” you muttered just before Mirko landed on the ground, “Ready for some good eats?!” she exclaimed and somehow you felt butterflies when you watched that smile come to her face, she was almost...cute.
She seemed to notice the way you stared, “What’s a matter? Lovestruck already?” you felt your face flush at her words and quickly glanced away. “No.” you denied, damn her. She chuckled once more and set you down on your feet. “Whatever you say, pretty face. Now let’s go get some grub.” she grabbed you by the shoulder and dragged you inside. Guess the advantage of being with a popular hero was the fact that you pretty much got whatever you wanted handed to you.
In this case, Mirko was granted an exclusive table and offered a bottle of wine which she immediately opened and insisted on a toast. You felt your stomach twist as you swirled the cup of wine before looking to Mirko. “A toast! To one of the best and originally unwanted sidekicks ever and the only fucking sense of normal I have in this otherwise kick-ass life! Cheers!” you blinked in response as she clinked your glasses together and promptly downed her glass.
Though you couldn’t help but wonder, what did she mean by sense of normal? How true was that? Was she hiding some secret from everyone? You glanced to the side, your wine untouched. You couldn’t help but look around, everyone else was dressed in such fancy attire that you couldn’t even hope to afford. You weren’t much for high-class places, so why did Mirko bring you here? It was almost like she was trying to impress you without actually taking part in the high-class act.
“Ah!” The bunny girl in question licked her lips after she finished her wine and slammed the cup back onto the table, catching some looks from the surrounding tables. But she outright ignored their stares as she was more focused on looking directly at you. “What’s a matter!? You haven’t touched your wine.” you jumped when you heard her voice and snapped your head back, “Oh uh...n-nothing. Um, I was just thinking…” you said sheepishly before taking a sip of your wine.
That seemed to be your weakness, trying to analyze not only a villain’s moves but everyone’s. Why they said what they did and what it meant. Maybe you’d be better off working for the police but the truth is, you loved being a sidekick. You were almost relieved when the dinner was over, almost. The horror came back when Mirko dragged you to the bar next door, you began to wonder just how much this woman could drink before she was satisfied.
The bar itself had dim lighting and a small dancefloor that provided the only real lighting as it flashed between colors. Mirko had insisted you sit at the bar while she ordered the drinks, you assumed that translated to she knew the bartender. You couldn’t help but sigh and curled your hands in your lap, this wasn’t your scene. In fact, you felt a little out of place. Well, maybe that was an understatement.
You were so lost in your own thoughts that you didn’t notice your coworker from earlier had sat down next to you. “Y/n.” your head turned, “Huh?” it was a little hard for you to recognize it was them at first. “Oh...hey, uh how are you? I didn’t know you came here.” he chuckled in response and laid his hand on your thigh, something that made you a little uncomfortable. “I could say the same for you,” he said as he leaned closer and that’s when you noticed the bruises on his face.
Guess that was the result of getting your face slammed into the floor. “I’m here with Mirko.” you replied in a flat tone and watched his face twist with panic, “She isn’t around right now is she?!” he exclaimed as he frantically looked back and forth. “Uh…” why was he freaking out so much? You reached down to push his hand off your thigh before answering him. “She’s getting the drinks,” you replied and though he still looked worried, his shoulders relaxed.
“Well, that’s too bad. I was going to buy you a drink, maybe I still can, what do you say?” he questioned with a purr and reached over to take your hand, “Uh…” you replied before he brought your hand up to his lips were he pressed a kiss to it. The action made a shiver run down your spine, “Um, right...I don’t know about that.” you said as you pulled your hand away from his.
“Well, how about we go out?” he questioned and you jumped in your seat. “Uh what?” he chuckled and a playful smile formed across his face. “I said how about we go-” his sentence was interrupted when several alcoholic beverages were poured over his head. You could smell the difference mixtures lingering in the air and it made you gag, “What the hell is your problem!?” he snapped as he whipped his head around to see Mirko, she stood there with a smirk.
“No problem here, but I’d prefer you don’t bother my date with your bullshit. It’s clear pretty face doesn’t want to go out with you. So get before my foot impales itself into your ass!” Mirko growled and for a brief moment, you got scared as you watched her face twist into a more devilish expression which seemed to be more than enough to scare your coworker away. You blinked in response before looking at Mirko.
“Uh...that seemed…” you tried to search for the right word, but Mirko just scoffed. “What unnecessary? Give me a break, those guys are just like villains. Can’t take no for an answer.” she declared as she placed her hand on her hip and looked at you. “Besides you’re my date and I don’t plan to hand you off to any half-assed shithead.” your eyes widened, “W-What do you m-mean d-d-date?” you responded, not that you didn’t like the sound of it.
Just, you didn’t recall Mirko even asking you out on a date. She seemed confused by your question. “Uh, what else does a date mean?” she responded before rolling her eyes. “Yeah, I didn’t ask you out or anything. I couldn’t find the time between all the bullshit, so I decided to try and spoil you instead. Besides that fool has been trying to ask you out for months. Had to beat him to it, didn’t I?” she questioned as she took the seat next to you.
“I’m going to have to get more drinks…” Mirko pouted but you were still full of questions, just staring at her with blank eyes. “Hm?” she turned her head to look at you, even in the dim lighting you could see her raise her eyebrow. “What?” she questioned before trying to flag down the bartender. “Look I promise I’ll ask you out properly later,” she said which made you finally drop your stare. “Just enjoy tonight for now and if you’re good, I might end up bringing you home tonight,” she said with a wink and you nearly fell out of your chair.
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rwbyremnants · 5 years
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WARNING: Kink discussion, domination, bondage, writing on bodies, anal play, anal penetration.
NOTES: Hey I'm glad you guys are liking this! Sorry to those of you who are really into the White Noise-verse and only here for the gay haha. I promise there's more of that to come after this fic!
=Chapter 3
“Girls will always win over boys.” When the blonde at the bar delivered this line, pushing her glasses further up her nose, it was in a business-like tone without any hint of mirth or debate. “We’re just naturally superior. That is why, week after week, when you two men play against us, you lose.”
"Well it's only typical girls know how to handle balls better." Once again for their bi-weekly bowling sessions, Qrow was in attendance. And yet again, he was taking any chance he could to make snide comments about his opponents. This time, it was aimed at the two of them rather than Winter in their meeting before. If anything, it was on purpose. He hoped to fill the silver haired temptress with jealousy.
However, Winter was simply watching in bemusement. Perhaps it was because she and Qrow were occasional "playmates", or because they had only had the one session thus far. Perhaps she was over him already, and had moved on to greener pastures. Either way, she was smiling rather than vibrating with envy, as he had hoped.
But Glynda's reaction was a bit more pronounced. Scowling at him, she snapped, "That's a bit presumptuous, don't you think?"
"Mmmaybe." Leaning against the bar, and slowly leaning in toward Glynda, he found his eyes half closing. His cocky attitude would be enough to grind even the steadiest of nerves. "Or we could find out?"
"Who's thirsty?!" Finally returning from a long queue at the other side the bar, Qrow's blond-haired teammate, Taiyang, had managed to carry four glasses in his hands. Only just. Resting them on the bar between Glynda and Qrow, he pushed the two red cocktails toward the women, and the beers in their direction. "Strawberry Sunrises, as requested, and beer for me and the loser here."
"I do like something sweet," Winter said with a slight smile. But it looked like Glynda was not to be so easily mollified, not after Qrow's lewd comment.
"Listen, you… you coarse blowhard," Glynda blustered. "I came here to bowl, not to be a target of your half-assed attempts to demean me. I am a person behind these boobs, you know!"
"Ooohh, feisty…" His taunts continued as he smirked down at her. But once again, Tai stepped between them to end any possible fighting. Deliberately shuffling himself and Qrow backward, he laughed nervously toward the two. And opted for a subject change.
"Sooo… the game? That was a good game! Haven’t seen a turkey like that for a while!"
"Agreed," Winter put in, glancing between them all. She was all about diffusing the situation, now that it had run its natural course. "That was really fantastic, Glynda."
The woman's green eyes swung around to glare at Winter briefly, as if blaming her for intervening the way Taiyang did. But all she said was, "Thank you. I'm… happy that my game is finally coming along. We may really be able to enter a tournament after all, now that you have joined us."
"Oh, it isn't because of me," Winter snorted, taking a sip of her drink. "I got three gutterballs."
"Which you made up for, though! I saw that spare and strike at the end, you were holding out on us!" Handling his beer, their cheery blonde teammate took a large gulp full once he was sure the team was relatively calm again. At least, he assumed it would have been.
If not for Qrow's comment, which was aimed directly at Winter this time. "Oh, she more than made up for them, and I'm sure she can do it again."
"Hnghk!" Winter blurted into her drink, which set her to coughing. Quickly, she snatched at the tiny cocktail napkin that had been under her glass and dabbed at her face to wipe the semi-frozen concoction clear.
"What?" Glynda asked, eyebrows coming together. "What's wrong with you?"
"Are you okay?" Taiyang asked, raising one of his hands up as if to reach out to her, drawing it back as she seemed to slow down. But all the while, Qrow was laughing and chuckling to himself as he delicately sipped away at his beer. It was all just a game to him, one that Winter was losing.
"Fine, just… went down the wrong way," she finally managed, taking another drink to soothe her throat. It worked, and she sighed. "Sorry to have worried you all. Especially you, Qrow," she added pointedly.
"Oh you know me, I worry about the gals. Whether they can handle their balls or not."
That comment earned him a quick nudge from Tai when he shot him a glare. But not a moment after he looked back to both the teammates, smiling nervously once more. "So… team names! What do we think?"
"How about 'Blondes Have More Fun'?" Glynda suggested. When Winter laughed, she raised an eyebrow. "And what's wrong with that?"
"One of us isn't blonde."
"Yes, and he's not even the tiniest bit fun. I think it's appropriate."
"…You aren't gonna respond to that?" Tai asked, looking around to his friend as he was continuing to down the beer he had. After a gulp, he'd already finished the first pint, placing the glass on the bar to be collected.
"Oh there is a lot I can say. I just think I'll get kicked in the family jewels if I do."
"Good instincts," Winter told him evenly. Then she arched an eyebrow at Taiyang. "Any better ideas than 'Blondes'?"
"Hmm… aww man, Summer used to be great at these. What word can we make outta W, G, Q and T?" He had turned to ask his friend, only to find he had already ordered another pint and was beginning to drink. "Qrow!"
"Oh lighten up." He then took another large gulp, holding the drink level once he was finished with that one. "Alcohol helps me get the ol’ brain workin', I'll come up with a better name this way."
"I think it does the opposite…" He sighed in annoyance, raising a hand to his head. "At this rate all your brain will do is dissolve into mush, and your liver."
"We could always just call ourselves 'The Thunderclouds'," Winter mused slowly, as if she were only speaking as the thoughts came into her head and not seriously expecting anyone to approve. "You know, like Qrow is the black cloud, and we're the yellow lightning bolts. Something like that."
"Hey yeah, I like that!" Speaking of lightning, Tai himself seemed to light up with the suggestion, grinning widely at the two ladies. And then back to Qrow, nudging him as he as he was about to drink more. "How about it, buddy? Thunderclouds?"
Grunting, thanks to the drink he had spilt on the ground, he looked back toward Winter and Glynda again. Seemed Glynda was still glaring, but at least Winter was alright with him. "Sure, Thunderclouds is great." But then he smirked. "Y'know, I totally bring the thunder. Especially in the bedroom."
While Glynda was rolling her eyes and making a very loud noise of disgust, Winter laughed and added, "So you say. I was more thinking about the sound of thunder when the ball rolls down the lane. And don't they say a thunderstorm means God is bowling in Heaven?"
That brought about a laugh from Qrow, especially when he remembered specifically the Schnee lifestyle, how they were raised on a Christian upbringing. Many times he laughed with Weiss about it on their meeting, now he could with the older sister as well. "Typical you'd get told something like that. So is rain him crying over a gutter ball or something?"
"Probably," she said - with a small chuckle, in fact. Maybe they could get along in areas besides the bedroom. "Must have been a pretty awful run last month; rained every other day."
"Well, I think it works as well as anything," Glynda put in, trying to bring them back around to business. As usual. "However, we have to get good enough to play in the tournament first, don't we?"
With a shrug, Tai put in, "I'd say we can be, if we put more practice in around the edges some time. What say we actually exchange numbers so we can meet up and work on our game if we're free?"
Tai's offer was genuine, but it was just what Qrow needed without him even mentioning it. A way to contact Winter without straight up asking. Putting his drink back for a moment, he already fetched his phone out, eager to begin. "Sure, why not?"
"Yes, makes perfect sense." Taking his phone, Winter passed her own over and began to type in her number. Then she saw the "name" field waiting for her to input something… and couldn't resist.
When she passed it back to Qrow, the screen showed her contact information as "Princess." Raising an eyebrows back in her direction, he couldn't help but chuckle at the presence of that word once again. A subtle way to make sure he didn't forget. He could get used to this.
And as the night went on, and a few more drinks were had together, things gradually began to settle down. Qrow was done flirting for now, focusing on bowling and boozing. He was already on his fourth while everyone else had begun their second. Not that he was counting. If anything, he was counting on a lift home from Winter if they ended up agreeing to do things again.
"So…" He began another conversation starter, gesturing both Tai and Winter. "How's the crazy kids doing on tour?"
But Winter had been thinking about something all night. Debating it back and forth in her head. Certain things could wait; for now, she had a question for someone else and wanted to leave the two men to chat about family business.
"My father would know better than I these days," she said with a polite smile. "But so far, so good; Freezerburn is playing nearly sold-out shows in every city." Then she turned and said, "Glynda, do you mind if I have a word?"
The bespectacled woman blinked in mild surprise, but managed to stammer, "Oh, s-sure. Excuse us."
Then the two ladies scooted down a few barstools with their drinks, bending their heads closer to each other. Although curious, Qrow never tried to butt in. Doing so would only raise suspicion between them, people would ask why he was so defensive. Including Tai, and then down the line, possibly everyone else. Simply watching as they headed off, he pondered to himself while that question hung around Taiyang longer.
"Anyway," Tai half-laughed, following their sudden departure. "They are doing pretty good, but Yang told me she's kind of worried about the wife; I mean, came down with a stomach bug. So far she's been able to keep all their tour dates, but there were a couple close calls where she woke up and ran to the toilet, didn't know if she'd feel like going through with the show."
Leaning back toward the bar again as he listened to his friend, Qrow took yet another sip of his drink. This last one he had slowed down considerably, with the knowledge that he didn't want to be too drunk for the activities after. Still, hearing about his niece and her girlfriend's trouble, he shrugged his shoulders. "Lil pipsqueak has more in her than I thought if she's still singing after throwing up all morning. Let's just hope Yang don't catch it, huh?"
"Yeah, that's what's strange. They're all over each other usually; more than I'd care to watch," he added with half-weary little smile. "But nope, Yang's still in perfect health. So your guess is as good as mine."
Letting that linger a moment, Qrow gazed outwardly in thought. That was until he found a small smile creeping to his lips. "Maybe it's because they're all over one another… remember how Summer was with Ruby?"
"Don't even start down that road," Tai grumbled as he leaned backward against the bar, tipping the bottle up.
"Tai, come on. They've been together three years. There's usually either a marriage announcement or a kid on the way in that time." Though the amused smile turned to a laugh of his own. "Either way, your wallet's gonna be fucked."
He was still letting out a long, wailing groan in the general direction of the ceiling when the women returned, Winter laughing at his outburst. "Oh, and what's all this? You auditioning for a yodeling contest?"
"I'm too young to be a grandpa!" he groaned, turning on his stool to slump against the bar, hand clutching at the bottle as if it were a life raft.
Laughing as he raised his own glass, Qrow patted Taiyang on the back with his free hand. "Welcome to the world of drinking your sorrows away, pal." And then back toward Winter again. "Was just talking about how your sister is throwing up everywhere, yet Yang miraculously ain't. Nauseating couple like that, you'd expect 'em both to give each other the germs, right?"
"Ahhhh," Winter breathed slowly. Then she waved her hand from side to side. "Don't be silly, it won't be that. Weiss doesn't want children for a few more years, if Yang can even impregnate her."
“Don’t say ‘impregnate’,” Tai moaned.
"Sometimes the body doesn't listen to the mind," Glynda put in mildly, gazing down at her own drink and swirling the contents.
"Exactly,” Qrow said. “Like I was saying to Tai, after three years of being together, you’re gonna get more trusting and risky, might forget a condom or two."
Which only made Tai groan once more, giving another sip of his bottle. "I tried to be a good dad and teach her pulling out doesn't work, I really, really did…"
"Weiss is on the pill, I'm fairly certain," Winter assured him as she finished off her drink. "The chances of this being pregnancy are remarkably small. Don't worry too much."
"Still though, whhhhyyyy…" Pressing his head flat against the bar instead, Tai continued to groan in the newfound agony; even if it wasn't confirmed, that wasn't going to stop him.
Which only made Qrow look back around the other two, and shrug his shoulders. "Wish I never brought it up now. Sorry about him, ladies."
"Don't worry about me," Glynda said easily with a shrug. "I'm just glad it's not me who's possibly pregnant." When the others all glared at her, she slowly lowered the drink she had been raising to her lips. "What? What did I say? We were all talking around it already, I just used the actual term."
Laughing, Winter touched her briefly on the forearm. "You know what they say; men are always the queasiest about this kind of thing, even though they don't actually have to go through it themselves."
"I thought I'd be done with kids till they were like, thirty…"
By now Taiyang's groans were continuing to himself, and the other three were simply laughing about his dilemma. It wasn't as though he himself waited until thirty when Yang and Ruby came to be, after all!
------------------------------------------
The night continued to be pleasant from then on. There were more drinks - strangely not for Qrow, who had insisted he had enough for the evening. After a few more laughs, and continuing to wind up Taiyang on the possibility of grandkids, they headed home relatively early. Tai was dropped off first, stumbling back to his doorstep on the rare occasion he had “drank the sorrows away”, then was Glynda, who Winter prompted about their conversation in the bar, insisting they would discuss it further.
Then it was just Qrow and Winter in the car again. His apartment would have been their destination, however Qrow was largely insistent on going elsewhere. Even to the point of getting a hotel room if they planned on spending the evening together. Thankfully, it was unnecessary, as Winter drove them home to the Schnee building.
"Sorry about the mess," she said as she flipped the light on. "It's been some time; I don't invite anyone I don't trust to my rooms."
Her comment was completely unnecessary. The "mess" consisted of a plate and a coffee mug sitting on the glass coffee table, a single suit jacket draped over the arm of the beige armchair. Otherwise, the light grey carpeting, cream coloured wallpaper and several pieces of modern art presented a welcoming yet pristine living room. A water feature - yes, an actual, pretentious, ornamental water feature - burbled quietly in the corner, running down the dark stone surface only to be pumped back up to the top again.
"Mess," Qrow repeated, heading into the apartment so she could shut the door behind him. Right away, he removed his shoes, a small gesture that he didn't even do in his own place. Everything was so clean, and he didn't want to be the one to mess it all up.
"Real nice place you got, though. Not that I expected any less."
"I do try." Following his lead, she stepped out of the usual flats. As she discussed with them during their drinking fest, she was considering a purchase of her own bowling shoes and ball, now that they were going to be playing on a regular basis. For now, she still used rentals. Then she sighed and pulled the pin out of her hair. "Care for a nightcap? Or perhaps coffee for the opposite effect?"
Already taking a seat in the sofa, he ran a hand through his hair again, brushing the few stray strands out of his face. Nonetheless, he replied confidently, "Depends what you got planned for the evening. Sleeping together, or sleeping together."
Picking up the plate and mug, as if she couldn't stand to leave it, she smiled at him briefly before turning toward the kitchen. "I had thought that would be obvious. But then again, you can be somewhat… slow on the uptake."
"Least I ain't slow on the delivery; you were screaming loud enough." As she took the things to be washed away, Qrow stared toward the water feature a moment to distract himself. It was pretentious, maybe. But she had her own reasons for having it, no doubt. But the subject of screaming lead him on to something else. "Did I tell you I got a noise complaint? Not that I'm complaining about it. Just thought that was funny."
Laughter came from the kitchen, and she returned with two small glasses of greenish juice, ice tinkling inside them. "Hardly a surprise. But you needn't worry about that here; I had all of my rooms soundproofed a few years ago. It… became prudent."
Taking his from her once she was close enough, he smiled gratefully. Although the green was rather confusing, he pushed that to the back of his mind for a moment longer. The more he could learn about Winter Schnee, the better their play would be. At least he assumed so.
"So you've been doing this a few years, huh? What got you into it?"
Sighing, she contemplated her glass for a long moment. Then, almost as if just thinking to say it, she glanced over and asked, "You're not allergic to any fruits or vegetables, are you?"
"Huh?" Then he quickly looked back to the green liquid. "Oh! No no, I'm good. I'm… Yeah."
Rather than pester further, he took the glass to his lips instead, taking a small sip. Just as suspected, it was a unique blend of all kinds of healthy foods. One designed to bring back someone's vitality after a long workout session, or in his case, after a night of drinking and bowling. As good as the taste was, however, it didn't distract him from the fact Winter was dodging the question.
And, of course, she noticed he was still waiting. With a sigh, she lowered her own glass and sighed. "You… seem like a decent man, Qrow. I mean that, despite our rocky start. But this is not something I tell just anyone. Suffice it to say, I had certain desires that aren't… society doesn't look upon them kindly. Even I do not. So instead of letting them put me in dangerous situations, I found a way to explore them in a controlled environment, and began to do so."
"…Uh huh…" That raised far more questions than it answered. Alarming questions, even. Some of which, although he wanted to ask, he refrained; assuming he wasn't yet allowed to know that information. Instead, he went for a more obvious question. "This why you had to implement the 'no guns, no knives' rule?"
"That came afterward," she grumbled with a loud gust. "Separate occasions, as well; the one… let's say 'appointment', had a gun fetish, and liked to threaten women with them, put the barrels in their mouths. He always showed me the empty chamber before we began play, but it was still very… unsettling." With a shiver, she continued, "As for the knives, I just don't like visible scars. Even ones that can be covered by clothing aren't welcome. I'd rather my body be exactly what it was before play, with the exception of a few welts or bruises that will heal quickly enough."
Blinking as he took in all the information, Qrow began to slowly nod. Not for reasons that she may expect, however. Taking another sip, he placed the cup down on the coffee table for a moment. "What annoys me is, I bet it's some jerk with an inflated ego who's never had to use one in his life for its intended purpose. You don't fuck with guns, period."
Now it was Winter's turn to learn a little something about her companion. Turning very slightly in his direction, she crossed her legs as she asked, "Any reason your convictions on that matter are so strong? You don't have to tell me if it's a sore subject, but… I'm guessing you had a bad experience."
Having stared outward blankly, he slowly nodded his head, seeming to weigh up the options. Until finally taking a breath in. Maybe if he shared first, Winter would be braver. "Maybe you already knew from Tai or from Yang or something, but I'm a former soldier. It's actually how I met Taiyang; we were in the same unit."
"Really? Hmm… I could see that, yes." But she didn't interrupt further.
"Was four of us that were close. Me, my sister, Raven, Taiyang, and Summer, Ruby's mom." Unable to help himself, he smiled, folding his arms at the fond memory. "We were a great team, us four. Used to get up to all kinda trouble when we had too much free time, but in the field, we looked out for each other. It was like we were all an extension of ourselves; if one went left, we all went left. We had a strong connection."
"That sounds wonderful." She took another drink, listening politely. But not merely that. She was taking all of it in, slotting the pieces of what made Qrow who he was into place within her mind. She just didn't want to interrupt such a healthy moment of confession.
"When we were liberating villages and hanging out with the people we rescued, it was. Some of the happiest memories I have are the four of us out there. But at the same time, fucked us all up in different ways." Shuffling in his seat again, he rested his hands by his side, sighing. "We never really settled down. Even after Yang and Ruby were born, we felt it was our duty to go back. But we were older. Tai agreed to stay behind and look after the kids, I failed the fitness exam, but Summer and Raven went back. Judging by the fact they ain't here now… You can guess how that went."
"I… never knew the details," she confessed carefully. "Only that Ruby and Yang said their mothers weren't in their lives anymore. I got the feeling that with Yang's mother, it was by choice…?"
"Partially." Now he was staring out blankly. The subject wasn't really talked about. Not by him, by Taiyang, or Yang herself. It was a sensitive topic. But one that he finally felt he could share.
"We heard Summer was killed out there, but Raven? She went AWOL somewhere down the line. We've never heard from her again. Choice or not, nobody knows what happened." Taking the drink back from the table, he said before taking a sip, "Least if she was dead we could have a little closure."
Shivering at the coldness of his tone, she looked down. "I… lost my own mother about a decade ago. Not that it's the same, but I know this kind of thing stays with you. And for it to be your sister…" She shook her head. "I'm sorry for asking so many questions. This must have been the last thing you came over here to do, and here we are, commiserating."
Having finished a little more of the drink, he placed the remains back on the table. The subject was so much darker than what was expected for the evening, yet it came with an understanding smile. Vocal venting was as good as sexual venting.
"It's good to get it out sometimes. I don't talk about my sister often or to many people, but sometimes I just… gotta scream about it." Keeping eye contact with her, he shrugged his shoulder. "I suspect it's the same with your mom."
"Well… perhaps, yes. I just don't usually bother talking about her to anyone besides Weiss or Father. What's there to say? She was a warm, sweet woman, and taken from us too soon by circumstances beyond our control. It's… unfortunate, but the past is past."
Qrow only nodded, allowing the occasional silence to clear the air between them. "Even if it's beyond your control, sometimes, you can't help and look back. Me, I sometimes wonder if I quit the booze and passed the test, I coulda gone out there and stopped what happened." However, he shrugged his shoulders again. "Or maybe the three of us woulda been killed rather than one, fuck knows. Either way, sometimes I blame myself, sometimes I blame them, then feel awful a few seconds later. Dunno if it's the same with your mom, but…"
"Not… for me," she said carefully. "But for my father, I believe so. He was always blaming himself. I was too young to have made any difference."
Then she took a large swallow of her juice and set the glass down, scooting closer to him. Her hand drifted up to graze the back of his neck gently, tenderly. "Perhaps I could interest you in a neck massage? Relax some of that tension away. I'm no Neon Katt, by all accounts, but I do alright in a pinch."
Finally, he looked back toward her again, and found himself chuckling under his breath when his eyes met hers once more. "Y'know, you confuse the hell out of me."
That caused her to blink in mild confusion herself. "How so?"
One of his hands drifted to her thigh, gently brushing up and down for a moment. "Because you're a perfect ten who's giving a two-point-five, at best, a hell of a good time."
"Shush," she chuckled, swatting across his shoulder lightly. "I'm not a ten. Perhaps in looks, I'm up to… nine, being entirely objective. Though I rarely feel like it. But…"
Her eyes dropped to the coffee table for a long moment. There were things she felt tempted to say. Wanted to say. But she didn't want to drag down their entire evening with a load of self-centered grousing.
Sensing that, he shrugged again, finally shuffling himself closer to her direction, facing away from her. In a short space he had learnt a few more important factors about Winter, which was the main thing to him; the rest could come later. Offering up a free distraction, he rolled his shoulders. "Go on, work away."
"Right, then," she sighed, shaking loose her inner demons. "Right." Reaching up, she slid her fingers in and around his collar and began to knead at the tight muscles there. "Ah… not too bad, but you could definitely use my touch. Though you probably already knew that," she added in a suggestive murmur.
"Wonder what you can do with your hands… your mouth does more than a good ‘job.’" As soon as he felt the fingers starting to knead into the tight muscles, his eyes began to instinctively close. Her rugged man relaxed right into her touch, tilting his head left and right to assist her further. "Ooohhh yeeeaaaahhh…"
Chuckling lightly, she kneaded harder, really getting into the work. "About your comment… me being 'too good' for you. This isn't really something I'd consider anything more than a favour for a friend, so you don't need to think of it as a big deal, or as my changing our relationship. If that helps take the pressure off. Sometimes a massage is just a massage."
She had him wrapped around her little finger. Unable to help the small growl that left his lips as he tilted his head this way and that, he only just managed to ease an eye open, trying to keep himself focused. "Does, actually. And the whole ‘master-princess’ thing is a little bit more than a favour, right?"
"That's… separate." Then she smiled wryly. "Sorry if I threw you with the phone. But, other than that small detail… you do understand that even if we decide to tell anyone we've slept together, that we do not discuss that aspect of our arrangement, right? Not without both of us agreeing to tell whoever it is."
Still seemingly in a trance while she kneaded into the aching muscles, he slowly nodded, leaning to the other side once she was done with one. "Hey, I'm not about to admit I get a thrill out of bossing a woman around, forcing her to do stuff. Your secret's safe with me."
He definitely had a point there. A wicked grin graced her lips as she leaned closer to his ear. "Hmm… you know, we could always turn the tables…" Then her fingers flexed inward, and she gouged her fingernails into his flesh momentarily.
Wincing from the brief amount of pain that followed, he gritted his teeth together. And yet, the thought that came to mind was still rather a good one. There was a mental image of Winter Schnee wearing a leather corset and heels. Only corset and heels. Images of her above him, demanding things of him. But as that thought got further down the line, he remembered what some femdoms specifically got up to. Whips were one thing, but then there were certain other objects. And certain other attires…
"Nnnope," he said quite clearly, unable to help but flinch forward, instinctively holding his arms behind him. "My ass is a one-way street, thank you."
"Oh!" There was a surprised giggle from Winter, but she continued her massage nonetheless. "That makes one of us. But I do find it interesting that pegging is where your mind went first… if I were a Freudian, I'd read something into that you might not like."
"I have no idea what that word means…" he admitted. Rolling one of his shoulders to assist more, one particular sentence caught his attention. Which he turned around to smirk at her for.
"Only one of us, huh?"
Despite the subject matter, and how most women would have reacted, she simply smiled coyly. "Treat me well enough, and you might get to explore back there. Unless you're not into that; most guys are, but I wouldn't blame you if you weren't."
"There's more to you than meets the eye, Winter Schnee." Finally satisfied with what she'd done for him, he leant forward again, rolling his shoulders a few more times just to ease them back again. Be it sex or massages, seemed Winter was very skilled in both.
Talking of which… "By the way, can I ask you something? Since you didn't answer last time."
"By all means. Just… I hope you won't be too upset if I don't answer again, depending."
"Alright. While we played last time, I asked about your favourite position. And you said you didn't have the right ‘equipment’. What did you mean by that?"
At that query, Winter's semi-guarded look transformed into what could only be described as a predatory leer. Picking up her juice glass, she held it just in front of her lips as her eyes flicked up and down him.
"Do you think you're ready to find out?"
Leaning right back further against the seat, he smirked widely as he threw his hands behind his head. "Y'know, I think I just might be."
She giggled. When he only watched, amused but not following why she was amused, she shrugged and said, "I think you're under the impression you're going to get more comfortable." Then she swallowed down the rest of her juice, set the glass back down and stood. "Follow me," she bade him before walking toward the hallway.
Nodding, he quickly jumped back to his feet instead, leaving his own juice half finished at the table to join her as she ventured through the house. God only knew what he was in for, but either way, he was excited to find out.
As it turned out, Winter led him into her bedroom. From the outset, it seemed to be like any normal bedroom, with a canopy bed - which did seem a bit strange for a grown woman who lived alone - and a dresser, some end tables, a closet, an antique wardrobe. There was also a Japanese folding screen for changing behind; another pretentious decorative piece that wasn't strictly necessary. Gazing around the room in all it's estranged beauty, a slow smile was coming across Qrow's features. There were one or two things that Qrow suspected could have more purpose than just being a part of the room, such as the folding screen and the closet. Still, he folded his arms, slowly nodding his head when he entered.
"A lil girly for me, but I dig it."
"A girl lives here, you Neanderthal," she told him with a casual sigh, nipping the curtain over her canopy aside slightly to reveal…
A thick, sturdy metal beam. One which connected at the corners, where there were loops that ran between the end and the sides. Already, with that one movement, Qrow's suspicions of her room were proven correct. He was intrigued. Though he had suspected the canopy was for the purpose of suspension, he was curious as to what exactly Winter had in mind for them to do. And in turn, curious of how he would be expected to provide that service.
Then he turned his attentions to one of the fancier wardrobes. "And I'm guessing they ain't full of clothes, either."
"Hmm. You think?" Taking off her cardigan as she walked and flinging it carelessly into the corner, she said, "Let's see what's behind door number… one."
Her fingers nipped the wardrobe open, and all that was revealed was a series of dresses and nice blouses. The bottom played host to a dozen pairs of shoes, all arranged neatly. Some of them did have very sharp looking stiletto heels, but still didn't scream "dominatrix" in a particularly pronounced tone.
At first Qrow's face was a picture of wonder, like a child about to be taken into a toy store and being told he could have anything he wanted… until it was open. Then it returned to its usual slightly grumpier self.
"Huh. Let down."
"And door number two…" Winter tried the closet door, then gasped when the knob only rattled, raising her hand to her mouth theatrically. "Oops! Golly, Mister Qrow… why do you think this closet is locked?"
It was then that he started to remember; Winter didn't live in this building alone. In fact, her father must pay good money to arrange for maids and cleaners to come and change the sheets while cleaning. Oh, what an idiot he felt in that moment…
And Winter knew it. Glaring toward her, he folded his arms. "Ha, ha. Well you did say I was slow on the uptake."
Grinning in amusement, she turned back to the wardrobe, straining on tiptoes to reach on top of it. There was an empty box of some sort up there, but that wasn't what she was going for. Coming back down, she displayed the key she had retrieved to him for a brief second before fitting it into the lock, turning it with a click, and swinging the door wide.
Inside was a shelving unit that had been designed to have drawers; they were made of black metal mesh and slid easily on casters. Hanging to one side of that on a garment pole was a distinctly different variety of outfits from the other. Perhaps they weren't all like that… but the French maid outfit in the front seemed to indicate that at least a few were not what one would wear to an office brunch.
"Now we're talkin’." It was only then that the rugged cockerel clapped his hands together, rubbing them with childish glee. Unsurprisingly, the main outfit was the first thing his eyes glanced at. With a skirt length as tiny as that, it came to no one's surprise. And then there was the other few outfits. One corset made of leather, a policewoman, then…
"Is this what I think it is?" He walked in front of her on purpose, unhooking the small skirt and shirt combo, both in matching but dull colours. Anyone would be a fool to miss the fact it was… "A school uniform? Really?"
"One of my previous acquaintances bought that for me," she told him with a sly smile. "Letting you know that, just in case you were wondering if it actually belonged to me from my own school days." Then she leaned over and whispered, "My own school uniform is tucked away very safely. Elsewhere, away from lecherous eyes."
Rolling said lecherous eyes sarcastically, he placed the uniform back on the bar as she expected. And instead went to search some of the other drawers. It was both curiosity, and a need to meet hers as much as he could. But the first draw opened up something which made him laugh.
"We could have used this at my place." He gestured to a red ball, attached to some more strips of leather. A ballgag.
"Very true," she chuckled, her hand touching it briefly. Perhaps remembering a specific instance in which it was used. Then she leaned against the wall. "But… you wanted to know my favourite position. We could either keep playing around in my toychest, or…"
Her eyes flicked out the door toward the bed. Meanwhile, her hand moved to touch yet another drawer thoughtfully. Anticipating his answer, should he choose to continue things before her closet was fully explored.
Remembering again, he looked back to the bed with an eager smile. That particularly sturdy beam could make for some interesting play, different positions which he could only dream of. Knowing a lady such as Winter needed it in order to find her favourite position was quite the turn on, and already he could feel himself getting warmer below in anticipation.
Sliding open the drawer her hand was perched on, she revealed what could only be described as a leather fingerless gloves. Several toughened black straps with studs and buckles wrapped around them, and there was a thick metal ring dangling off the sides. Drawing those out, she also reached underneath their usual resting place and plucked two sturdy-looking black carabiners.
"Now," she began as she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. "You can put these on me, or instruct me to do it myself. And we can do that either before or after we've begun play. I don't want you to think I'm just setting all this up without you being involved."
Now the method was clear, Qrow was feeling his cheeks light up at last. Only the second time they would sleep together and it would be a far more extreme method than last… However, that raised another question.
"Ain't you a little overdressed for us to start though?"
Noticing his blush, she turned to face him more properly and grinned. "I am. But I do want to ask: are you sure you want to try this? I do tend to get a little… excitable when it comes to these kinds of things." Then she licked her lips, debated, and decided to plough ahead with her thought. It was too important to quash. "Do not let your machismo get in the way of letting me know if you're not into something. Or if you are. I like my masters to be confident and masculine, but not to lie to me, or themselves."
And yet it did nothing to put Qrow off. Only made his blush very slightly increase when there was mention of her severely enjoying this. Excitable, that could mean a variety of things. It could mean more pleasure, or she was more eager in general. Or both. One thing he was sure of, he wanted to find out. And eager to do that, he reached to begin unbuttoning his shirt.
"Your turn to choose a safety phrase, Snowbird."
"Well, that depends." Her index finger tapped the drawer he had investigated. "Did you want to gag me? I mean, the walls are soundproofed, so if you'd rather hear my screams…"
Pulling his shirt apart once the buttons were finished with, Winter could once again get a glimpse of the well toned body she was able to appreciate in their last venture. And no doubt she'd get to see more in a short amount of time. Looking again down at the gag, he tilted his head. It seemed a good idea; even if the room was soundproofed, one wouldn't want to risk the wrath of Mr Schnee. Furthermore, the idea of a partner being unable to call out at all… that was equally inviting. And worth a try.
With a smirk, he nodded, approaching the drawer again to take it. "Safety gesture, then."
Shivering in ill-suppressed pleasure, she whispered, "Alright." Then she reached to the side from where the gag had been to snatch up a couple of leather cuffs. "Again… do you want to hold these until we start play, or do you care about that?"
Looking at both the gloves and the cuffs now in her hand, he chuckled to himself. The least he could do was humor her more. "I get you like this stuff, but ain't that excessive?"
Smirking very slightly, she replied to his question with another. "Is it?" Then she handed him everything. "Did you want to blindfold me, have me wear an outfit? Just throwing out all our options."
Taking a moment to ponder the options, and stare at the items in his hands, he began to think of the possibilities. There were so many to chose from, especially with the “toy box” Winter had at her disposal. He was well and truly being thrown in the deep end by a sub who had a wealth of experience.
"Blindfold could be fun… However, I like the idea of me showing you the things I'll do… And there wouldn't be a single thing you could do about it but wait."
"So do I," she confessed, reaching out to run one of the gloves down his chest and abdomen with the metal ring up against his skin. The colder sensation sent a tingle down his spine, and he let loose a soft sigh. But it was enough to remind him of the task at hand, as he handed the other glove to her.
"Alright, how does this sound; naked, wearing only the gloves and ballgag, while I look through your box of goodies to see what we can play with while you're helpless…"
"Not a problem," she chuckled, taking back all the leather and carabiners, grabbing two more from where the simple belted cuffs had lain. Hands getting somewhat full, she said, "Put the gag on top and I'll carry all this in there."
Looking again to all that Winter was holding, he gazed again at the pair of cuffs. And then to the second set of carabiners. It made him raise an eyebrow as he pointed them. "Any point to these? You're already gonna be in the gloves, wouldn't they be overkill?"
"Oh… those restraints aren't for my wrists; the gloves are." Then she took the lot into the bedroom, leaving him to explore.
Appearing deeply confused, he stared outward blankly, eyebrows lowering as his eyes darted back and forth in thought. That was until the penny dropped. They weren't to restrain her arms, which left only one option to what their real intent was: her legs. To keep her completely spread and waiting. Like a sex slave. The thought was depraved, and yet it was one that he found himself delighting in, growling lowly when he followed her at long last.
By the time he rejoined Winter, she had already laid everything out on the foot of the bed and had whipped her chemise off over her head. Her hands fell to the waist of her slacks as she spied him. "Oh, weren't you going to pick out some toys?"
"Not just yet." He placed the ballgag alongside the rest of the items, picking up one of the leather gloves and a carabiner, hooking it to the ring on one side so it was ready. He set up the other glove in the same manner whilst his partner stripped down, eyes focused on the task at hand. "I figured you could watch me do that, anticipate the wait."
A soft smile flashed over at him as her thumbs shucked them downward, along with her underwear and socks as she went. Suddenly, save for her lacy black bra, she was laid bare to him. "You're… going to be a very hands-on master, aren't you?"
"I've always been a good with my hands; ask anybody."
Any further comments were cut off when he looked back around to her, and saw her body for the first time. Most of it, at least. The bra added a small layer of mystery; but that would be handled quickly and easily enough. Perhaps even during their play.
Placing the cuff he'd just finished with back down on the bed, he smirked. "Hah, I still stand by that perfect ten comment."
Something about the comment caught her off guard. They hadn't initiated their scene, and he wasn't obligated to keep calling her that. Her cheeks flushed, and she looked down at her feet past the bra. Of course, she hadn't been surprised when he flattered her once or twice - but he had already sealed the deal. They were seconds away from her being tied up and completely submitting to his every whim. Why did he still persist with the flattery?
"Th-thank you for saying as much."
"Not a problem. Mama always said honesty’s the best policy." But their moment of kindness toward one another didn't last too long. Not when Qrow instead collected one of the gloves that was already prepared. Holding it open with two hands out toward her, the kind smile turned into a wicked smirk. "Shall we, Princess?"
Returning the smirk with equal wickedness, she slid her slender hand into the glove, fingers poking nakedly out the other end and wiggling to help her get comfortable. She reached up with the other to buckle them, then stopped. "Did you want to do this part? And, um… do you want to start the scene now, or wait until I'm chained up?"
Letting her hand go now that she had slid that glove into place, he went to grab the other one instead, and held that one out ready for her as well. Both possibilities were interesting enough, but there was one that particularly won over the other. Simply because he wanted to spend some time with the out of character Winter. As much as he wanted to know the game, he wanted to know her, as well.
"Call me a sap, but I kinda wanna help you set up first, so we can get it how you like it."
"Hmm… I guess you did want to know my favourite position." Now that both gloves were on, she flexed all of her fingers as she said, "You have to tighten the buckles, then latch the carabiners to the loops up there. If the buckles are too tight, they'll cut off my circulation; too loose, I might slip through. Then… those other things go on my ankles."
"There's a lot more to being a Dom than I thought…" But eagerly accepting the challenge, he nodded, holding the buckle for the left glove. Thankfully the “good with my hands” part was true, and he was able to pull the buckle together with ease, stopping at just the right amount as insisted. Not too tight, not too loose. To test this before she'd be clipped, he then gave a firm tug on the ring, and sure enough the glove didn't come off. "That gonna work?"
"Beautiful," she purred, holding out her other hand. "And, if you please…?"
"You're slipping into the slightly Dommier role there." Giving another wink, he got back to work on the right, tightening it and buckling it to just the same amount as her left. Yet again, giving a firm pull to be sure it was the right amount. And to his joy, it seemed to be.
Next came the ankle cuffs. It was a little more difficult to be sure on the amount, but after perseverance, he seemed to get the idea on the correct amount, and buckled both in with ease, giving each a small tug. Perfect. Now no matter what, the anklets or the gloves weren't about to budge any time soon. Just how she wanted it.
And the effect on Winter was already visible. She was squirming back and forth slightly at the sensation of having her "gear" on, anticipating all that would be to come once they began. Standing up from the edge of the bed she had perched upon for him to work on her legs, she traced her fingernail along one pectoral.
"Now for my favourite position, if you're ready," she breathed shakily, pausing to swallow. "So… I could assume it, or you can pose me… I apologise if I'm asking too many questions or giving you too many options, but I've never worked with a new Dom who was so, um, open to suggestions before. Either they're an old pro, or they think they already have it all figured out."
"Hey, way I see it, I've gotta learn. And it's supposed to be fun for us both, right?"
He meant every word. Curiosity was the main motive toward his actions, toward finding out this position, and of her as a person, past experiences, what 'got her going' as such. But another was to learn for himself. He was still new to the role, and there were some things he accepted he wouldn't get right without her help. When he was so set on letting them both have fun, he thought it best to ask these things rather than look like a fool. With that in mind…
"Go ahead, Princess, show me. Then I'll put that gag in and we can start playing."
"Very well." Turning, she presented her back to him, and thereby the clasps holding her bra in place. "This… will be harder to get off after I'm anchored to that bar. With the straps and everything. But if you want me to keep it on, that's fine."
Qrow only laughed to himself again. She didn't even have to ask; he was already there, reaching to the straps and pulling them inward as much as he could to be rid of them. It was more of a challenge for him, since he wasn't at all used to them, but eventually, he had it popping open.
"You're seriously asking a guy if he does or doesn't wanna see boobs? That's like asking 'does a bear shit in the woods?'" But as she turned back around again to allow him to slide the bra all the way off, he was left stunned once more. Her breasts were not as modest as her sister's; enough to easily be held or fussed over. It was a sight that certainly got things below going even more, as he could feel himself beginning to push against his pants.
Again, she seemed to take a turn slightly toward the shy while his eyes lingered upon her form, biting her bottom lip. She waited to respond for a few more seconds, wanting to give him plenty of time to observe. When she did respond, it was in a whisper that barely carried through the room to his ears.
"Do you… stand by your previous rating?"
He shook his head. "Nope." But that action was followed when he grabbed one of her wrists, bringing it upward toward the ring in order to get them started. There would be plenty more time to observe when they were in the midst of play. When she appeared confused, he only smirked. "Make it eleven, now."
Winter blushed a bit deeper as she dipped her head low, though her hands did maintain their positions near enough the loops so Qrow could fasten her to the loops. What else could she say? That even while he was filling her bizarre need to be dominated, treated like an object, he was also somehow showing her so much more kindness than anyone ever had? It was such a strange paradox that she couldn't make sense of it at all.
This seemed to come as second nature to him. Even as he strapped her into position, he did so with care, making sure things were both secure and comfortable. Or as comfortable as she could be, at least. It seemed strange for a man to treat her with such care one minute, then know he would be calling her horrendous things the next. Still, that was their play, it was what they needed.
And with that thought in mind when she was finally finished, he went to fetch the last item. The ballgag. This was where things were about to get very interesting. "We never did decide on a safety signal… whatcha got in mind?"
"Well…" After adjusting her footing, clenching her spread cheeks, she took in a shaky breath. "How about…" Then she snapped her fingers twice. "Is that acceptable? Or more than twice, if you don't hear me the first time."
"Hmm… It ain't too loud," he noted, unable to help but take the moment to lay a hand on her thigh just below the clenching cheeks, rubbing slowly up and down. Remembering their first safe word, he spoke up. "What about the chicken noise again as well? Probably the only noise that'll get through the gag."
Against her will, a bemused snort came from her, even as her entire body was shivering from his touch. "You… are really into making me cluck like a chicken, aren't you?" Then she swallowed. "Fine. But you'd better respond to the snapping equally, just in case I actually can't make the chicken noise through the gag. We should at least test it once it's in place, though."
"Speaking of which…" Leaning back around to face her, he lifted the ball part close toward her mouth again. The agreed on signal was the final step that was stopping them from beginning. Now that was out of the way. "Ready?"
"Yes. And… it's going to be up to you this time to initiate play. You're the Master; use whatever language you want to start and end the scene. But today, I certainly won't be able to." Then, she debated briefly and added, "I trust you," before turning to face forward and opening her mouth.
With no further words, he gently slid the ball into her mouth. Once that was firmly in, he strapped the buckles on the back, keeping it firmly secure and in place in her mouth. All that was left to do was test if she could perform the safety signal after all.
Although there was one thing he couldn't help himself for before she tried, and that was to give her a light pat on the backside, softly stroking that skin. And so it was that instead of crowing aloud, she let out a low, guttural groan. One that was muffled and strangled from the gag. The cheek also flexed under his touch, eager for more.
Even just a groan was loud enough for him to hear. That meant the safety signal would certainly be acceptable, and in her capable hands. Groping her backside even harder this time, he leant inward closely to her ear, gruffly speaking the words she'd been waiting to hear since they set this up:
"Begin Play."
Of course, all that Winter could do was nod her understanding. Bound and gagged. Qrow had certainly wasted no time getting used to their situation, which was good; she liked a man who could adapt.
As he said before, he was going to tease her. Tease and tease with various objects rather than go for the goal straight away. With that thought in mind, the hand left her cheek. Instead, he walked away from her, and back to their new favourite toy box to select their items for the evening.
"Eenie, meenie, miney… mo." Opening another of the drawers, there were a variety of different things that could be used in different ways. A set of furry cuffs, which they no longer had use for. A strange X-shaped strap of leather with four rings attached to each of the ends, which he had no idea where that would attach in her current setup. But then more interestingly, there was a tube of lubricant. She really wasn't lying about liking her back end being explored.
"’For the ultimate pleasure sensation’…" He read the label aloud to her, hoping it would wind her up worse and worse while she couldn't do anything. "’Apply to both the applicable area, and any toy for an unforgettable experience’." Smirking to himself, he continued to rummage through the drawer. "But why is this li’l one in here on his own? What you do you have to go with… oh. Gotcha."
He pulled out what had rolled to the back of the drawer and out of reach. A set of five beads, slowly increasing in size, attached to a string with a ring of it's own on the end. Even a moron would know what that was.
Meanwhile, the object of this session of play was twisting back and forth in her restraints, trying to get a glimpse into the closet. She could see him, of course, but not what he was doing. Of course, she had a mental inventory of everything she'd tucked into her toy box. She was just merely curious and anxious about what he might pull out for them to play with.
"Yeah, I think you can be something we'll play with." He knew full well she wouldn't be able to see, so continued to pull out another set of drawers, looking at the other paraphernalia. It was a large variety, but the real guessing game was wondering what they would both enjoy, and what was just in here because other doms requested it.
In the next drawer there was a mix of all sorts. There was the blindfold she had hinted at owning, some sort of handle attached to lots of feathers, a couple of plugs, then a rather small vibrator. That he also picked up, holding it in his “play with” pile. So as to not leave her completely in the dark, he looked back, smirking. "I'll bet one of these things I picked up was called a 'personal massager' when you bought it, right?"
That brought about another groan of frustration. Of course, Winter was partly playing up her sounds for his benefit, but it was awfully hard to resist making noise when your speech was effectively silenced.
"I take that as 'I know what that is' groan." He laughed to himself, pulling out the next drawer. These items seemed to all bear the same purpose: inflicting pain. There were a couple of small whips, a riding crop, and a paddle. Although the idea was something he himself had thought about and considered before, he couldn't yet bring himself to take anything out. Anything he could do in that area would be perfectly acceptable with his own hand. A spank wouldn't leave too much of a visible mark, after all.
Then the final drawer, which carried another large variety of things for all different purposes. A candle in a holster for letting out the wax specifically, some non-chafing rope, a small vibrating bullet, and then, oddly enough, a Sharpie. The latter had taken his curiosity most. Oh, the things he would write…
Satisfied with his choices, he closed the drawers and the door to her toybox, approaching the bed to his victim and laying them across the bed for her to see at last. There was the lube which he had read the label for, and beside it, the set of anal beads; the 'personal massager', and the marker. Perhaps it wasn't much, but that all depended on what he was going to do with them.
But he'd selected his first weapon, picking up the Sharpie. "Where to write first?"
Both of the woman's eyebrows lifted as she spied that. Out of all the things he could have picked, there was that seemingly-mundane item. Little did he know that there was more than one purpose for its presence… but then again, perhaps he would figure that out for himself. Squirming her hips from side to side, she waited for what he might inflict upon her with the pen.
It did no good, of course. Just as he intended. She was merely prolonging what was to come as he held one hip with one hand, and used the other to press the tip to the skin of her inner thigh. Maybe it would seem ridiculous and pointless, but he could write whatever he wanted, to empower her, to humiliate her. Anything at all…
But he settled with an arrow pointing inward to her most private areas. Above that, he wrote something a little more degrading: "Qrow's toy".
Of course, it was impossible from that angle for her to read what he'd written, but just the cold, teasing sensation of the felt tip was enough to make her shiver and groan. After his first grasping of her hip, she did her best not to move any more than was strictly necessary; she might hate what she read later, or she might love it, but she knew she did not want to mess up her master's penmanship.
Then on the other thigh, he made an effort to write something a little extra, just for her later. Ever so close to her privates, he wrote the words "little cumslut princess". Maybe it would make her stomach churn, but the knowledge it wouldn't rub off easily brought him a sick glee.
"There." He grinned at his work, looking her up and down for a moment. "God… You're like something out of my dreams, I gotta say…"
Winter's lips worked at the ball between them as she writhed slightly, only able to angle her head down just enough to see the very tops of the letters. And from what she could tell, he wasn't about to read it aloud. A little "mmphh" floated out as she tried to reach up for the bar and clutch it tightly, shifting her hips from side to side again. Hoping to draw him in, to influence him to do more. To really begin torturing her body.
"Oh… so you want more?" he asked. The sly smirk hadn't vanished, and for good reason. The things he was going to do up until before he finished her were going to be a treat. There were one of two options, which he hovered his hands over to get her to chose. First, the anal bead set, then the vibrator. He went back and forth between them and looked at her reaction. "Tell me when to stop, Princess."
For a long few seconds, she simply watched… until she realised he actually was asking for her opinion. This was a twist; she was used to weathering whatever treatment came her way. Though she hummed when he was over both of them, knowing the sensations would be pleasurable regardless, she nodded slightly over the vibrator. That was a need she sorely wanted him to sate.
"Vibe, huh?" He edged his hand toward it for a moment, ever so closely… but as it seemed he was about to grab it, he moved to grab the set of beads instead. He knew his game, to play with her, toy with her until she could take no more. And doing the opposite of what she wanted was the perfect way of doing that.
"We'll save that for later, then."
"Hnnghh!" she snapped at him in irritation, but she secretly loved that he was taunting her this way, of course. That was the order of the day, after all.
And then she was thinking about what was about to happen to her. Cheeks tensed together and she could already feel the ring of muscle tingling in anticipation of the coming invasion. Qrow meant for her to take them all before he started in with her sex, did he? Well… she would definitely be able to manage that. She had before, and she could again.
Already he was at work, preparing the first bead with a small amount of lubrication, then the second. The others he could work on later, while they were playing. But as stated in the instructions, that wasn't all he'd need to use it on. “Apply to the applicable area,” he remembered. And that knowledge only made him smirk even more when he looked over to her, both the beads and the lube in hand.
"Now to get my princess ready…" It was so matter-of-fact the way he said it, as if she truly was his to freely manipulate and torture with whatever he pleased for his amusement. And these methods weren't even for his pleasure yet. They were purely to mess with her. Chances were, this evening would be exhausting for Winter. That was made rather clear when he placed the prepared beads down on the bed, taunting, teasing, while he moved behind her. And tried to pull one of her cheeks out to expose the tighter entrance.
Shuddering at the feeling of air caressing her, Winter could do little more than that when the tight pink flesh was revealed. True to how fair her skin pigment was all over, the flesh of her more intimate areas was also light and youthful, and meticulously groomed. There had been next to no hair above her sex when Qrow glimpsed it before, and not so much as an errant one back there, either. Furthermore, even after hours spent at the bowling alley, she still looked as if she had just returned home from a day at the beauty spa.
"Very nice, very nice…" He repeated himself, keeping a hold even now as he held the tube closely to her rear. Pressing the tip against the top of her tight skin, he squeezed a small amount against it. More than enough for her to begin to feel it even before a finger worked to rub it against her, pressing inward on occasion to help open her up. This would be a gentle procedure.
The pronounced shiver and long sigh through Winter's nostrils told him something he probably could have guessed; she appreciated his methods. This was most assuredly not the first time she'd been "prepared" for what was about to happen to her, and probably not even among the first ten times. She enjoyed it, even if it made her slightly more nervous than the usual stimulation.
Able to feel the muscle beginning to give way, he smiled down at it once more. She was ready. The smaller bead seemed to be the right size compared to his finger, enough to make him confident enough to grab the set back again, holding that first lubricated bead and pressing it up against her tight skin as if it was his finger. Except he never stopped, never relented as he felt her body resisting slightly to take it in…
Now the pleasant sigh was turning into a groan as her thighs and cheeks quivered. He'd spent so little time getting her ready; he could tell she was, even if this was her first time allowing him in there. Maybe he'd been born to do this! Her back began to arch very slightly as she felt the bead working its way past her defenses…
Until it slipped through. This time, there was a more pronounced grunt when it disappeared inside of her, drawn in by the muscles that instinctively closed off the opening whenever possible.
One out of five. Not good enough for the new Dom in her life, however. Even when he could see Winter's muscles pulsing against the thin string that was still visible, he knew she needed more. Licking his lips, he moved back to the next bead that was ready, pushing that inward against the muscle as well. This time it was far easier, and slipped inside with very little resistance.
Then he had to prepare the others, three more that were progressively larger than the first. Before he went to collect the lube again for them, he couldn't resist giving a very slight pull on them. Just enough to tease the muscle.
"Hnhhh!" Winter burst out, hips twitching as if they yearned to thrust forward and away from the sensation - but stopping herself. That would only make it stronger. Instead, she merely tensed all over for a moment until her mild worry passed, panting through her nostrils.
"Oh yeah, they ain't goin anywhere…" He was rather sure of that, letting them sink back inside again when he released the end once more. As he laced the other three beads with the same fluid, his smug and teasing attitude was only continuing more and more with his words. "Y'know what'd be funny? If I stuck these in, then went home, left you for someone to find… God that'd be kinda embarrassing, huh?"
Finally, for the first time since they initiated play, Winter reacted in a way that was less than favourable. Her arms thrashed slightly against the restraints, her grunts and growls were louder; she even attempted to pick up one of her legs to do something. Of course, that got her nowhere, because it was just as restrained as her arms.
That only made Qrow's job of lubing the final bead ready even harder, as with each of her movements it swung back and forth out of his hand. No doubt that would be an odd sensation for her to feel as well. Yet, when she stopped, Qrow was only continuing to laugh to himself, finding a sickening pleasure in putting these awful ideas in her head. Even if he wasn't going to go through with them, the reaction was astounding.
"Oh man," he continued, simply toying with the last bead once it was lubed up. "What if it was your sister?"
A rush of hot shame crept up into her cheeks and neck. No. Anyone but Weiss, or her father. Those were literally the only two people on Earth she would not be able to handle finding her like that. Anyone else would be a disaster, to be sure, but she could get past the initial shame with relative ease. Process it as an unfortunate happenstance and move on. Perhaps even her father, though she would spend a lifetime regretting it. But Weiss…
That could never happen. Ever.
Finally returning to the third bead to get back to work again, he pushed it against the flesh, occasionally twisting and turning to try and keep the coating of lube even on both her and the toy itself. This time, it took a bit more effort to push it in. From what he assumed was the distraction of the evil idea in her head. This really was the torture that she wanted, right?
"I could give her a call…" He taunted, moving on to the fourth bead. She was just over halfway there. "Or I could send her a picture. Hell of a conversation starter."
The next moan was long and full of agony, from both the torture without and within. He wouldn't dare. He had to know that, no matter what their games were, their play, taking it outside the two of them without discussion was one of the hard rules she had set in place. He had to remember that! Especially when it came to her pure, sweet sister… corrupting her would be as low as he could get.
'But that isn't true,’ a dark voice in the back of her mind whispered. 'Weiss has Yang, and Yang has likely done all kinds of dirty things to her by now. Even if you don't dislike the blonde anymore, it's naïve and stupid to believe she's still pure and innocent.
And there slid in the fourth one, being taken into her body along with the rest. Now on to the final bead. But as he held it against the skin, he noticed she was clenching rather harshly, and not even letting up at all. Had he pushed her too far? Just the idea of Weiss finding out was too much for her to handle? What could possibly cause such a major reaction like that? Maybe that was his own failing – considering he had a fractured relationship with his own sister. Seeing her like this would have made him curl his lip briefly in revulsion, sure, but that would be it; done and done. Maybe he would ask her about that later.
"…But I'm not gonna do that." He kept it there for a moment longer, hesitating before the final bead to look up toward her. Perhaps for their second time, that idea was too harsh. "My little cumslut's been too good. Ain’t gonna punish her."
With that little encouragement, her entire body relaxed. That had been all she needed. The teasing had been interesting, and if she were honest with herself, she wouldn't have been truly angry unless she saw he was about to make good on those idle threats.
But that burning shame at the notion of angelic little Weiss walking in on her, strapped to her bedframe, spread-eagle and with five beads stuck inside of her most taboo opening… it shouldn't have been a turn-on. It wasn't, not really. But she did feel stimulated from it, felt her heart rate climbing, every sensitive area of her body tingling. If it happened, she'd be completely inconsolable, but the mere threat of it happening…
Moisture was beginning to run down the inside of Winter's thigh, and her heart leapt into her throat. Shit! That would not look good; it could give Qrow the wrong idea about why she was so wet if he noticed. She could only hope he was too focused on pushing that last bead inside of her.
For a while he was. The final bead was being pressed up against the skin, being twisted and turned to encourage her to open up and accept it. He was concentrating fully on the skin that was widening around it, gripping it like it was the only thing that could keep her sane. And when it got above halfway…
Witnessing the rest of it simply sink inside was the oddest, yet one of the most arousing things he had ever seen. Especially when the only evidence they were there was the small string and handle still poking out, swaying idly back and forth. Five beads, all in her tight opening. What did that feel like?
He couldn't exactly ask. However, when he looked and saw the moisture not only on her sex itself, but down her leg, it was a huge hint he was going in the right direction. Giving one more little tug on the handle, he commanded, "Squeeze. I want you to really feel 'em in there."
Winter did as she was bade; her cheeks clenched, and her voice was louder and freer, announcing her pleasure and discomfort that were mingling together into a single intolerable feeling. She just wanted more.
So much more that she was salivating now. That was her least favourite part about being gagged this way; eventually, she couldn't help but drool on herself. Some of her past Doms had chastised her for that, some had been turned on by the sight. Most didn't care one way or the other, and a few had stopped to wipe her clear. But Qrow couldn't even see it from his vantage point.
"Good girl…" As one final taunt before he moved forward, he reared his hand back, forcing it forward against one of her cheeks with a SLAP!
"NHhhHH!!" she yelped around the sphere between her lips. God, that felt incredible! She wasn't sure if it was incredible in a "good" way, exactly, but she was definitely more ready than ever for him to take her. In whichever way he would end up doing so.
By the time he was back to her front again, he was in for quite a sight. Winter was wet, both ends of her were. She was drooling for more against that gag of hers, and practically dripping down below as well. The humiliation, the beads, all of it was making her more than ready to be taken. How he wanted to be the one to do it.
But they had other ideas, other requests. Winter had already seen the vibrator, she knew that was coming. He couldn't disappoint her now. And so he went to grab it…
Which was when the phone rang out. It was a jaunty, familiar tune… and after a moment, they both recognized it as one of Weiss's very early hits, from when she was just starting out. Nobody needed to call her sister, because her sister had called her.
And Qrow was the one in control.
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Friday April 17th, 2015
If someone would've told me two hours ago that I'd be in the city tonight, much less standing in this fucking park again, I think I would've burned them with my cigarette. 
Now that I've been revived by the kinetic energy of lucrative prospects and perhaps a runner's high from racing through the Embarcadero, I can reflect with amusement on my situation's irony instead of wallowing in the curse of it. Obviously I'm here, it's Friday night. Where the fuck else would I be? Making ends meet with my measly retail job where I walk away with $40 at the end of the night? Please. The earnings I can accumulate for one night of transactions wipe out what I gross in a bi-weekly paycheck in that store, it'd be laughable to acquire that lousy shift...especially when I've picked up four there this week already. Shouldn't I be resting instead since I'm so fucking tired? Fuck that. Since being on the other side of the door, I've been blessed with the clarity to realize that genuine sound rest for anyone in our apartment on a Friday night is ultimately futile, and fuck was I finding myself miserable for trying. While my body might've been wasting away on a bed or a couch, there's no way I would constitute the only other thing I've done this week as "rest". Not with the perpetual nausea in my stomach that kept churning from my mind's rotten, embarrassing, reruns that recommenced to torture me without mercy despite how I thought that I'd charred their disgusting instigator to oblivion the last time I was here. It should've been over because it was over to me and it didn't go catastrophically as I'd feared, yet that awful remnant lingered within me like a bitter taste in my mouth and nothing I could conjure up to distract myself was able to fully abolish the feeling. She may be naive that I ruined our friendship but it doesn’t matter, because I ruined our friendship and the only thing that could ever heal my festering regret is time and all I'm left to do is live with my stupid fucking self while I wait it out, which I know I can do. I've carried the burden of  far worse guilt before. I'll live.
Five days of on running the worst fucking sleep I've had in two years, however, and whatever remained of my already fraying wit's end was deteriorating to its' last fragile fibers. I didn't want to do a single. goddamn. thing. Taking a couple of steps in our kitchen to open up the freezer, ripping open the bothersome box and pesky packaging, and putting a pepperoni Hot Pocket in the microwave so I could force myself to eat was as laborious as I wanted to get tonight and, while I slumped on the counter with my hand in my palm and waited for that unnecessary ding to inform me of what I was already anticipating, my exhausted frustration provoked me to make a spiel of decisions to ensure that: fuck studying, fuck avoiding texting Ray back, fuck waiting up for my dad, and, most unusual of them all, fuck Natalia. Most of the time I value her consistency, but I dreaded her then-impending text from the second I got back in from school because I was not in the mood to accommodate her pain in the ass schedule tonight, $300 be damned. She always wants an 8-ball before her shift and another when she gets off at one and there was no way in hell I could foresee myself having any ability to hang around Downtown for four fucking hours tonight. It was going to conflict with my Trazadone swiping plans, the enticement of which began to surge when I opened my burner and realized that I was going to have to deny my best customer. I hadn't received her usual request yet, but it was rapidly approaching nine and I was hoping that by intercepting her and initiating word of my very important schedule conflict, she'd be less pissed at my inability to show and not discredit and discard me like she did her other blow-off dealer. Yeah, the money always matters, but the price of my reputation is far more invaluable. 
The weight of that knowledge slowed my usual punctual thumbs as I evaluated the brief sentences and consolation with more acuity than I typically reserve for my English essays. If there's one principal lesson I've learned in the last week, it's not to text the first thing that's on my mind...especially when it wasn't in the right place to begin with. 
And thank the fucking Lord for that.
Because right when I was in the middle of selfishly setting us up for losing $300, fate buzzed me into my fucking senses and about gave me a heart attack in the process when I registered who the fuck was calling me.
S.
I don't think I've ever picked up the phone and put it up to my ear as rapidly as I did then and it wasn't because I was eager to talk to him. Fuck, if I would've been presented with the question via text that he wound up asking me, maintaining my assurance would've been the easiest thing I've ever done and there's no fucking way I would be standing here but he called me and he never has fucking called me. There's never been a reason for him to and I've never wanted him to because surely it was going to be serious and my mind raced through a white flash of fragmented worst-case scenarios. What the fuck did I fucking do? I stammered out the first word of that question twice before I realized that I was revealing the pure panic in my voice and I had to put a fucking end to it. He demands to know if I'm busy, which I wasn't anymore since everything suddenly got rendered irrelevant by his boisterous, jovial volume that thawed the ice of my fear into cautious curiosity as I started to perceive that this call was more irrelevant to the state of my existence than I thought... 
“I wanna go fucking clubbing, J. You wanna go clubbing?! Let’s go clubbing! I ONLY WANT TO GO IF YOU COME WITH.”
Or could've ever considered because what the fuck? No?!  Why the fuck would I go clubbing with him?! I don't fucking "club"! What in the everloving fuck possessed him to think that I do? Especially since he already convinced himself that I'm a teenage virgin who's never experienced delights or tragedies of love without me implicating anything explicit to give that impression away or indulge him in it being correct. Now five days later he’s deemed me suitable enough for his clubbing roster? Ridiculous.
So I started to express my disinterest...until he said something that made every part of my broken mind click back into the proper, functioning, place...  
“Come on, J…there’s money in it for you.”
Remembering how stunned I was upon hearing it sends me into a chuckle because it's so crystal clear to me now, but upon hearing it I had to work myself through the entire thought process as if I'd returned to Kindergarten and was introduced to the concept of the sum of one plus two equates to three.  Of course, that's why S he asked me to go with him. Night clubs and the loosened inhibitions of their clientele are rampant for an opportunity. Granted, it's one I've never considered to take up on because the loose lips of those fiending in the alleyways outside of them after hours were enough to sustain my immediate needs and, frankly, is more apt for my style. No matter what you're trying to sell, whether it be the commerce of cocaine or cars, your chances of successfully convincing a customer of purchasing it increase substantially when you locate one aspect of them to relate to and use it as a driving force. Developing a niche is the proper term for it and my niche is desperation. I'm always desperate. I'm desperate for cash, I'm desperate for success, I'm desperate for a future, I'm desperate for freedom, I'm desperate for safety, I'm desperate for love...fuck, I'm desperate for about everything besides for actual fucking cocaine. I understand what it's like to feel hopeless on these San Francisco streets, searching for that special someone who can swoop in and deliver that sweet salvation and can satisfy what their heart craves and I'm thrilled when, instead of another suffering martyr, I can be a savior. 
Like S was for me.
If it weren't for when he agreed to supply for me back in February, that might've been the most important sentence he's ever spoken to me because it's exactly the reminder I needed to hear. My entire move wasn't about making friends or an honest attempt at living or doing as perfectly as I can in school to keep up a GPA that isn't at all an accurate representation of my deteriorating intellect, it was about developing my own contacts and bringing in my own contributions—as legal or "unconventional" as they may be—for our survival and if I was that fucked up by some privileged British girl who would drop me so fucking quick if she found out how abhorrent my real reasons for being in this city are, then Lance Kelley should keep himself awake all night worrying about me because there is no way in hell I can afford to be that weak out here. 
And I'm not going to be. 
Certainly not when there's this thudding bass alerting me of that familiar black Altima's arrival. I never thought I'd be so relieved to see that car, but it's not so bad now that I don't have to display all of my personal belongings onto its roof. Now that I think of it, S hasn't entertained me with his little game in a while...
Taking a long drag of my Parliament because I'm sensing it's going to be the last one I'll be able to do silently for a while, I watch as S puts the car in park and proves me right when he jumps out and greets me with a name I haven't heard in a while.
“JAMES DEAN! How’s it going?!”
While I roll my eyes at it because I still don't get what he sees in that comparison, it's so stupidly cheerful that I can't resist a chuckle.
Damn, he's really happy to see me isn't he?
My rhetorical question resolves itself when I see color and animation thriving in his face as he exclaims how great I look and...surprisingly, he's not bullshitting me. I was fully prepared for S to call me out on being such a teenager that I had to rummage through my dad's closet and steal one of his button-up dress shirts, after all it is the honest-to-God truth since I didn't own one this nice looking myself, yet he refrained and I'm able to settle into a satisfied grin, "Well I’ve found that nice opportunities are more likely to present themselves to the presentable so... thanks. Glad to see you’re looking better too."
Seriously, he's in a refreshing return to form and it's obvious that the source of his rejuvenation has to be something far greater than merely my outfit. Pregaming, probably, but I don't care because he’s a far cry from the shattered soul I physically left sitting on that bench on Sunday night, yet who kept finding a way to agonize me mentally on the train ride back to Bayview. I wished I could’ve left him under a more imminently optimistic note but rushing his grieving process would’ve only delayed things for him in the long run and I’d truly delivered as much as I could for one night. Again, adequate time’s the only thing that could heal those wounds and watching him believe my compliment in this park only less than a week later is rewarding. The healing process can be a bitch and I’m happy it’s already starting to work out for him. 
I can't wait for it to start working out for me too.
Tired of standing in this same spot, I take a few steps forward to the passenger's side of his car and lean against the door, tucking one of my arms underneath the one staunchly propping up my Parliament. 
"Alright, so where is it? I’m not going anywhere until I see exactly what’s in store for me tonight.” 
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