#because he HELD Inej's HAND

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Cause it’s you

a/n what the hell is it with Kazzle Dazzle that always makes me write a full ass story inside of a simple little blurb… chokehold.

request: kaz brekker x reader one bed trope on a heist 🙏🙏

warning: blood, injuries, touch aversion, one bed.

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Kaz was tired. Bone deep tired. That kind of tired that made you drag your legs through the pavement. His cane was taking most of his weight tonight, and truthfully, Kaz was ready for the day to end. And end as soon as possible. “So… Who’s going in to buy the rooms?” Jesper let out a painful breath. His ribs had to be black and blue by now. He did cover for most of the team during the job, and the way he was leaning on Wylan clearly showed that the adrenaline was wearing off.

“I would, but if I moved even the slightest, they would see blood all over my dress," Nina’s sugary, venomous voice shouted as she glared at Kaz, clearly still annoyed that her perfect dress, not to mention that Kaz bought the said dress, was ruined because of the job gone slightly wrong. Inej didn’t even move from her shadows. She and Kaz had a falling out while the pack trotted through the damp streets, and neither wanted to let go of their grudges.

“I’ve got it, guys," you said softly, catching everyone’s attention. “We all need a hot bath and a good night's sleep." You rested your hand on Nina’s shoulder as you peeked out of the alley. “Flirt your way through it," Jesper whispered. “Get us extra perks, please." The rest of the team snickered quietly.

You were about to respond when Kaz’s cane blocked your way. “No one is flirting, and you’re not going alone." His voice was way sharper than he usually used when he was talking to you. “I can handle myself, boss," you said, crossing your arms over your chest. “Yeah, but a lady alone in the shithole like this... Would be too suspicious," Kaz breathed, stepping out and looking back at you.

A couple of hours later, you were finally drying your hands after patching everyone up. Girls had jumped into sharing a room and had walked you out while wiggling eyebrows that you greeted with a middle finger. Wylan was, of course, sharing with Jasper, who had been complaining about the single beds ever since he stepped foot into the room, so you had helped Wylan push them against one another.

It’s not like you hadn’t shared rooms with Kaz. You two grew up together in the slums. You were the one to pull him out of the water when he finally floated to the shore. He had his ever-going addenda of pushing you away ever since, but you had always stuck around. You had always tried to be his voice of reason. "Shit," you muttered once you flicked the light on. “No, no, no," you breathed out, rushing forward. This had to be a joke. What were the odds of getting three rooms and one of them having a double bed? Maybe you could pull them apart; maybe there were two. You yanked the duvet covers off. Fingers searching for a split in the mattress.

“What did that poor bed do to you?" A voice from behind you startled you, making you lose your footing and go face-first into the covers. “Great now, street grime is all over the sheets," he grumbled. “Well, if you weren’t sneaking behind my back, this wouldn’t have happened," you huffed, climbing off the plush sheets. “It’s my room," Kaz breathed out. Your gaze found him as you narrowed your eyes, “Our room, you mean?”.

He held your gaze. Strong. Unmoving. “I’ll take the chair," he muttered under his breath, stepping deeper into the room and starting to undo his jacket. “Like hell you will, your legs will be killing you tomorrow," you huffed, bending to undo your shoes. “And your shoulder won’t?”, Kaz huffed. “Speaking of which," his movements halted as he turned to face you. “Stand up and undo your shirt," he motioned with his hand. You raised an eyebrow at him. “Kaz Brekker, you’re trying to get me naked?”, you teased. Kaz simply tilted his head to the side, his face emotionless. Before he stepped closer, “You have two choices," he said quietly. “Enlighten me," you muttered under your breath. “You take it off willingly, or I will cut it off your body." You could feel his breath on your skin, making a shiver run down your back. “It’s nothing," you breathed. “Prove it," he dared you.

You held his gaze in silence. You knew that it was probably more than bad. You could barely lift your hand, and your shoulder blade was throbbing. It was almost funny how not the fact that you had to strip in front of him made you anxious but the fact that he would see you weak. You hated being vulnerable. When you finally clawed out of the street, you had sworn to never be vulnerable again. And Kaz hated weak investments. He didn’t do deals that weren’t beneficial to him. And now you...

You felt the cold metal tip of his cane slip between the two buttons right in between your breasts. "Hey," you jerked back, turning away from him. “Show me that fucking shoulder, YN," Kaz practically growled. “Or, I’ll...”. But he didn’t get to finish as your hands clumsily moved to undo the handful of buttons until you were practically panting from the panic cursing through your veins. Turning back to him, you yanked the dirty fabric from your body. "Happy," you hissed.

Kaz clenched his jaw. He didn’t even allow himself to blink as he looked at the crusted, angrily red cut and a handful of bruises littering your skin. He forced himself to put them all into his memory. Because this was all his doing. All his games had gotten you hurt. “Wipe those fucking tears off your cheeks," he huffed harshly. Too harshly, and he hated himself for it. But he couldn’t. Physically couldn’t watch you cry. It felt as if someone was carving out his chest. Your shaky hands clumsily wiped the damp patches beneath your eyes.

“You got out. We both did," Kaz muttered because he knew the demons that were clouding your brain now. He had met them too. You nodded. Wrapping your hands around your torso, it only just now hit him that you were standing in front of him topless. Kaz turned around so quickly that he nearly gave himself a whiplash before muttering, “Go, take a bath.”.

Your fingers were crinkling from the time you had spent laying in that hot water. You had hurried off the moment Kaz dismissed you. You knew he would never take advantage of you. And that bodies in general made him uncomfortable, but the way he had turned away from you. As if you were the most ugly creature that he had seen. Now your only salvation was that he might just be asleep by the time you stepped out of the bathroom.

Kaz, however, was far from sleeping. He had lost count of how many times he had walked up to the bathroom door to listen that you were still rustling around. He had lost his jacket and gloves. His hair was messy from all the pulling he has done. The slow turning of the key made him look up. Your hair was done up and still damp. Feet bare. You looked so small, like this. And that deep desire to keep you safe shifted gears without him even realizing it.

“You’re not asleep," you muttered, barely meeting his eyes. “It looks like I’m not," Kaz said quietly. There was no one else whom Kaz trusted the way he trusted you, yet here you two were as if you hadn’t spent the majority of your lives together. “Did you fix your shoulder?” Kaz asked, clearly stalling. You nodded, and he followed suit. “Then get into bed," "Kaz," you huffed. “I didn’t ask," he said, narrowing his eyes at you. You wanted to fight him, but you simply didn’t have enough energy to do so, “And you?”.

You saw something glistening in his eyes for a heartbeat before he swallowed, “I..." and let out a labored breath. “You can also lay down," you muttered. “I will keep to my side; we can put pillows in between." There was a note of hopefulness in your voice. One that held Kaz in a chokehold. “Lay down, woman," he said through gritted teeth. But you caught it. There was that part of him that he hid. So you wasted no time, doing right as he said.

He watched your every move. Watched your frame disappear between the sheets. Only then did Kaz step closer, his breathing hitching in his chest. The tide was rising. threatening to swallow him whole. “Kaz...”, and here it was with that same velvety voice. One that always pulled him right out. Chasing away all of his fears. He blinked a couple of times only to meet your beautiful eyes looking right at him.

“Close your eyes," he breathed, making you frown. “I didn’t know that you getting into bed was such a big secret," you teased. Kaz felt the corners of his lips turning upwards. "Smartass," he whispered under his breath as he swung his legs over the mattress. And for some reason, this didn’t feel too bad. It didn’t seem all that scary now that he was in bed. With you. You. It was because of you. Kaz turned his head to the side, watching you watch him. And for the first time, he let himself look. Not only look, actually see you. And fuck if you weren’t the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

“You’re okay?”, you muttered, your fingers slowly moving toward the center of the bed. Kaz watched them getting closer, but he didn’t feel like stopping you. “When am I not okay when I’m with you?" A light gasp left your lips at his words, your lips disappearing between your teeth. “Don’t do that," he grumbled, his fingers only lifting and grazing yours, and you instantly pulled them away. Not wanting to cross his boundaries. "Sorry," you shook your head. “Not your fingers," Kaz protested. “Your lip," he pointed out, making you frown. “What about it?” You brushed your fingers over it, trying to see if you had bitten too hard and drawn blood. “Because if you’ll continue to do it, I’ll...", Kaz swallowed. “I might lose my restraint in holding back." And then he reached out, his shaky fingers brushing over your plump lips. It took all the self-control you had to not whimper at the touch. Savoring the way his fingers felt, you only let your eyes close for a second, and then there was nothing. As if you had imagined it. You had barely caught Kaz practically jumping out of bed. Reaching for his jacket and cane. "Kaz," you breathed, pushing the covers off your body. But your plea was met with a slam of the door.

#kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x oc #kaz x you #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x reader #kaz x reader #kaz brekker #kaz six of crows imaginw #the six of crows x reader #the six of crows imagine #six of crows x you #six of crows x reader #six of crows imagine #the six of crows

[rubysunnday]

without you on my mind

summary: it takes a heart stopping and eyes closing for Kaz to realise his feelings can no longer be ignored

a/n: medically inaccurate shizzle for the sake of fanfic, ok

"Kaz, we can't hide dow here forever," Y/N said, shedding the heavy woollen overcoat she'd been wearing. Underneath it she was wearing her usual clothes - the clothes she'd survived Ketterdam in. They were a comfort to her - the familiar feeling of the material against her skin helped calm her nerves just enough.

"We wait," Kaz insisted.

"For what?" Y/N asked, pulling a knife out from her pockets. "This is happening now, Kaz, whether you like it or not."

Y/N turned and walked over to the ladder that led up to the main floor of the skiff. She climbed up it, pushing open the hatch and slowly peeking out from under it. Having deemed it clear, Y/N pushed it open fully and stepped out onto the deck of the skiff, keeping to the shadows.

Which was easy given that Kirigan was currently making more of them.

Both Jesper and Inej had spread out across the skiff. Y/N could hear Inej up above on the mast, her knives thudding against the wood. Jesper was up there too, firing his revolvers at the Volcra flapping around them.

On the main deck of the skiff was Alina. She was still chained to the floor and was struggling to avoid being attacked by the Volcra as they swooped down around her.

Y/N ran across the deck and to her side. "Hello again," she said, flashing her a quick smile before turning her focus to the chains.

"Hi," Alina replied, her breath coming in short, panicked gasps. "Mal, is he -"

"I won't say fine because he's fighting General Kirigan," Y/N replied, pulling a pin from her hair and slotting it into the locks of the chains, "but he's alive."

"Thank the Saints," Alina muttered.

The chains clattered to the floor as Y/N unlocked them. She held a hand out to Alina and helped her up to her feet.

"Now what -"

"You."

Y/N whirled round, subconsciously pushing Alina behind her. One of the heartrender's from earlier had climbed back onto the skiff, looking worse for wear. Y/N wasn't sure what his name was but she didn't care - he was with Kirigan and that meant danger.

Alina and Y/N began to slowly walk backwards, trying to put distance between themsleves and the heartrender without alerting the Volcra, who were currently pre-occupied by Inej and Jesper.

Something shined in the heartrender's hand. Y/N hadn't realise she'd pushed Alina aside until the knife whizzed past her, hitting the wood behind where Alina had been standing.

"Go find Mal!" Y/N exclaimed, pushing Alina over to the edge of the skiff. "Go!"

Alina hesitated for a second. Y/N swore and pushed the girl over the edge, not giving her a chance to try and be heroic.

"You're going to regret that," the heartrender snarled.

Y/N shrugged, trying not to show her fear. But she knew the heartrender could hear how fast her heart was beating. "Maybe. But I'm not that attached to this life, so."

The second the heartrender's hands came together, Y/N felt her chest burning. Her heart was slowing down, she could feel it. The ability to simply breathe was becoming impossible.

"I'm going to enjoy feeling your heart stop," the heartrender said, getting closer, step by step, "and watching the life drain from your eyes. To see your last breath leave your body will be a joy."

Y/N fell to her knees, trying desperately to get air into her lungs. She wanted to claw at her chest but she knew, deep down, that it would do nothing. It would only delight the heartrender more.

She couldn't tell if her vision was fading or if the shadows were growing. Darkness was creeping in and its embrace was so welcoming and warm, Y/N wanted to give in.

Then the pain on her chest eased a little. Something whizzed through the air. A thud came from in front of her.

But the darkness was hugging her tightly. Even as her body fell backwards, it landed on something soft and warm - the darkness fully embracing her, even as her lungs screamed.

Kaz had left Y/N for two minutes. Two minutes.

Apparently that was all it took for her to get into trouble.

He'd stepped out onto the deck, seen Y/N on her knees, a heartrender in front of her, delighting in her pain, and he'd seen red. A knife glinted in Y/N's hand and Kaz marched forward, picked it up and launched it at the heartrender, landing it directly in his head.

Y/N fell backwards and Kaz dropped his cane, lurching forward to try and catch her before she hit the ground. Everything in him repulsed at the contact as she landed in his arms, her entire body heavy and limp.

Kaz swallowed the nausea, the taste of salt water in his mouth and held her tightly. He clung to her as he had Jordie.

"Y/N," Kaz said, shaking her as hard as he dared. "Y/N. Y/N, look at me. Don't slip away. Stay with me. Just... stay."

Y/N's head lolled to the side. There was a brief flash of light and in the precious few seconds, Kaz could see her lips had turned blue, her skin pale.

She wasn't breathing.

Panic began to set in. There was no one else around. He was alone. Kaz wasn't an idiot, he knew what limited options he had. He knew what limited time he had.

He couldn't let Y/N die. He couldn't save Jordie. Maybe he could still save her.

As carefully as he could, Kaz lay Y/N on her back on the deck. His hands were shaking; even with the gloves on, he could feel the cold, wet bodies under his touch. He shook his head, forcing himself to focus on what was in front of him.

Y/N wasn't breathing, he knew that much. His fingers pressed into the inside of her wrist, searching for a pulse. Under his fingers, he could just feel a slight thump. But it wasn't strong.

Kaz closed his eyes again, forcing himself to calm down and focus. Now was not the time to let his fears and trauma win. This he had to do. He had no choice - no say. And for once, the ghost of his brother was not going to haunt him. He took a deep breath in.

With one hand, he pinched Y/N's nose shut and with the other, pushed her mouth open. Kaz felt the nausea swirl around him as he pressed his lips to Y/N's and breathed air into her lungs. His face was damp and his lips prickled. Every memory of that night came flooding back. The way Jordie's skin had been sodden and wrinkled under his touch. How his eyes had stared blankly at him, glassed over and cold.

Kaz lifted his head and took three deep, shaking breaths in himself. His face was wet, his hands were shaking and Y/N was still not breathing.

Please. He pressed his lips to hers once more, blowing a deep breath into her lungs. I can't do this without you. Kaz took another breath in, pressing his lips to Y/N's pale blue ones. He blew. He blew until his own lungs screamed at him to stop.

As Kaz ran out of air, Y/N gasped sharply and harshly, her hands flailing around, snatching the front of Kaz's coat.

"You're ok," Kaz said, trying to calm Y/N as he tried not to flinch away from her touch. "It's ok."

Kaz looked up as he heard the sound of people coming down the stairs and tried not to look to relieved as Jesper and Inej rounded the corner, both stopping abruptly as they took in Y/N lying on the floor, Kaz kneeling over her.

"Saints, Kaz, what did you do?" Jesper asked, holstering his revolvers and moving to kneel behind Y/N, gently rubbing her back as she wheezed and coughed.

"Nothing," Kaz grumbled, stumbling to his feet. Inej held his cane out to him and he snatched it from her. "Heartrender."

"Shit," Jesper muttered. He brushed Y/N's hair away from her forehead, letting her lean against his chest as she tried to get her breath back. "Did she?"

Kaz didn't give him a response. He looked at him and Jesper nodded once, seemingly understanding what had happened without Kaz having to explain. Kaz took another step back, away from Y/N, and roughly wiped his face, smearing the tears over his skin.

Inej walked out onto the main deck of the skiff and looked over the edge that Mal and Alina had both disappeared off. She whirled around, her eyes wide.

"Everyone, shield your eyes!"

Kaz turned his back and covered his eyes with his arm. As he did so, he saw Jesper shield Y/N's with his coat and then he was blinded by a bright white light.

The skiff somehow managed to glide out the other side of the Fold, eventually coming to an abrupt stop in a sandbank.

It'd taken Inej, Mal and Zoya to unlock the ramp and drop it down and even then, it didn't reach the floor. There was no platform to climb down from - just a large gap between the end of the ramp and the start of the sandy floor.

Inej had jumped down with ease and, when no one had been looking, Kaz had awkwardly jumped down to, swearing quietly as his leg buckled and bent at the impact. Inej waited to check he was ok before calling up to the rest of them.

"Right, come on, love," Jesper said, helping Y/N up to her unsteady feet.

Y/N sagged into Jesper's side and let him manveour her down ot the ramp. Mal had already jumped down with Alina and was waiting under the ramp for Y/N.

"Mal's gonna catch you," Jesper said as he sat Y/N on the edge of the ramp. "And if he doesn't, you can stab him."

"Very funny," Y/N muttered.

Y/N pushed herself off the edge of the ramp and, true to his word, Mal caught her, his arms wrapping around her waist as he gently lowered her to the ground. Alina's arm came around her other side and between them, they held Y/N up and walked her up the sandbank.

Alina guided Y/N down to the sand and then sat down beside her, taking her hand in hers. "I'm sorry."

"Whatever for?" Y/N asked, staring at her, bewildered.

"You almost died because of - "

"Alina, I don't care if you're a saint or not, if you finish that sentence, I will hit you," Y/N warned.

Alina smiled, putting a hand on Y/N's cheek. "Ok. I won't."

"We need to move," Kaz said, coming up the sandbank, Inej beside him. "We're too close to the Fold and if there are any survivors, they'll be lurking around here."

Mal nodded. "We'll walk for a bit then sit and start a fire to warm ourselves up before we decide what to do next."

They were a right sight, walking across the undergrowth, twigs crunching under their feet. As soon as they'd found a clearing, Y/N had sat down on the grass, not caring that it was wet.

It was bitterly cold - a layer of frost lay over the grass and the wind was freezing. Y/N rubbed her hands together, shivering. Even the fire Mal had started was doing little to keep her warm. Kaz had gone back to the skiff, leaving the rest of them alone for a moment.

"Hey, Jes," Y/N called, lifting her head up. "Come here."

Jesper stood up and came over to her, siting down beside her and crossing his legs. He put an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side.

"What's up, buttercup?"

"What happened to me?"

Jesper's hand, which had been rubbing up and down her arm, stilled. "How much do you remember?"

"The heartrender..." She trailed off. "I remember falling backwards into something..."

Jesper exhaled, puffing his cheeks out. "Ok. Since he's not here... Kaz killed the heartrender and caught you. But you weren't breathing."

Y/N nodded, reaching out to take Jesper's hand in hers when she noticed it shaking slightly. "Go on."

"I don't know what exactly happened but when I came down, you were breathing again, lying in Kaz's arms. And he looked like he'd just been through hell and back so..."

Jesper trailed off, the sound of the fire crackling filling the silence. Y/N squeezed his hand, partly to reassure herself but also to reassure him that she was still there.

"We presuming -"

"Yeah," Jesper said, wiping his eyes quickly. "Yeah, Inej and I are presuming that he saved your life."

Y/N looked up, spotting a familar black shape climbing over the hill to them. "He would've done that for anyone of us, though."

"Yeah, possibly." Jesper pressed a kiss to her cheek and leant his head on her shoulder. "But there's not many people he'd have kept going for."

Y/N reached up and put her hand against Jesper's head, rubbing her thumb up and down reassuringly. "We're all still here, Jesper. And soon enough, we'll be home."

Jesper smiled. "Always an optimist, my darling."

Ten minutes later and they were beginning the long walk back to Os Kervo. Y/N was still unsteady on her feet but had waved Jesper on ahead, wanting to talk to Kaz.

"Kaz," Y/N began, falling in to step alongside him. "This might sound silly -"

"Then don't ask it."

Y/N sighed, used to his blunt attitude. "Good to know you haven't changed. Look, doesn't matter, I'll just -"

Kaz stopped suddenly, his gloved hand reaching out to snatch Y/N's wrist. "Wait."

Y/N paused, wobbling slightly. She could feel Kaz's fingers readjusting their grip on her wrist, the leather rough against her skin.

"What happened back there," Kaz said, his voice hoarse. "I...I don't want to talk about. I don't have time to..."

Y/N turned, taking his hand in both of hers and cradling it. "Kaz," Y/N said softly. "I don't need to know why. I don't... I don't need to know what happened to you." She gently squeezed his hand. "I just..."

She trailed off, her eyes looking into Kaz's. For a moment, it was just them, in the cold, clinging to one another as eveything moved around them.

"Thank you," Y/N whispered.

Y/N lowered her head and pressed a quick, chaste kiss to the back of Kaz's hand and then let go, stepping back and turning around. Jesper had paused and held out a hand to her. As she caught up to him, Y/N took it and smiled, giggling at whatever he'd just said.

Kaz was frozen for a moment. His hand hung by his side, still, even as the skin prickled and burnt. Except it wasn't because of the past, this time.

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone x reader #six of crows #six of crows imagine #six of crows x reader #kaz brekker #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x reader #fic #fanfic #six of crows fic #shadow and bone fic

[amsgrey]

when you're ready

Kaz Brekker x Fem!reader (established relationship)

Kaz comforts you after you get hurt.

WARNINGS: Assault (kind of alludes to SA but not stated), please do not read if this might upset you, canon typical violence, traumatic event, talk of ptsd symptoms (reader and Kaz) not proofread.

note: This is really short because I have been crazy busy with uni work, but here's a little Kaz comfort.

Nina held tight to your hand, laying next to you on your tiny cot. She watched quietly as Inej threaded a needle through the deep cut on your side. Your eyes were shut tight, trying to fight off the tears and nausea that built within you. Inej was being as gentle as she could, her fingers ghosting over your skin. She knew how you felt, she had been in your position too many times before. Your shirt was a bloody mess on the ground, leaving your skin exposed to the cold air that drafted through your open window.

"Almost done," Inej whispered, breaking the silence.

As she finished her work, you couldn't hold in the tears any longer. They fell silently down your cheeks as you tried to fight off the flashbacks burning through your mind. You could still feel the rough hands that had grabbed you, the fist that knotted your hair, yanking so hard on your scalp you feared it was ripped right out. You had tried to fight, to scream for the crows, but you were easily overpowered by the men who were easy twice your size. They bore the tattoo of dime lions, branded on their forearms that peaked out under their shirts.

Nina and Inej stayed with you the whole night, watching over you as you slept and reminding you you were safe when you woke crying. In fact, they stayed with you for the four days that followed. You couldn't bare the thought of leaving your room, Nina and Inej kept the other crows away and looked after you together. You still flinched at the sound of male voices, you knew it was irrational and ridiculous but there was nothing you could do to stop yourself.

Nina had told you that Kaz was worried, but he knew you needed space and therefore would give it to you. A small part of you wanted to seek him out, but there was the nagging in the back of your head that he couldn't give you the comfort you were seeking.

"Kaz is sending us all on a job tonight," Inej had brought you a cup of tea, the two of you looking out the window down at the streets below.

You nodded, "Is Kaz going too?"

Inej shook her head, "He's staying here."

You nodded, watching her go and leaving you stewing in your room. After the sun had long since set, you cracked open your door and tried to get yourself to leave your room.

Stepping past the threshold had been the most challenging part, trying to force your feet to move from where they stayed glued. You had almost cried in frustration, this was your home, you should not have to feel so scared.

So you forged ahead, taking the first step out of your room and then another. And another. Until you were all the way at Kaz's door. You held your hand on the door handle, breathing heavily to try to quell the nausea in your stomach.

You recoiled when you heard footsteps on the other side o the door, stepping back when Kaz threw open the door with a scowl. You gaped for something to say, blinking back the tears that suddenly choked you. Kaz looked like he was about to scorn the person who lingered outside his door, when he finally looked at you the scowl vanished.

"Y/N," He said, so softly it wretched through your already crumbling resolve.

Kaz seemed to realize how distraught you were, he stepped to the side and ushered you inside his room. When the door was securely closed, you turned to Kaz and silently begged for what you came to see him for. You always tried to give Kaz space, not pressuring him for physical affection, but now you need it. Needed him.

Kaz didn't look caged like he often did when he was uncomfortable, instead, he grabbed you in his arms and held you tightly to his chest. You had never actually hugged Kaz, you had held hands and been close enough to kiss but never hugged. Somehow it felt so much more intimate than the touches you had shared before. Kaz held you to his chest as you cried quietly, finally letting the relief of safety wash over you.

You pulled away after a moment, trying to compose yourself, "I'm sorry," You whispered.

Kaz cupped your face in his gloved hands, "they won't hurt you again."

You had heard a few whispers about the slat in the last few days. Kaz had disappeared one evening and returned covered in blood, his cane stained red. It was always accompanied by whispers about his gloves or Dirtyhands does not need a reason. You knew there was a reason this time. How he had managed to track down and find the men who had attacked you was beyond you, you hadn't told anyone about who they were.

"Thank you."

You slipped past Kaz and sat down heavily on his bed, looking over his room. Kaz hesitantly sat down next to you, watching you with sharp eyes and waiting for you to show signs of being uncomfortable.

After a long moment, you let out a sigh, covering your face with your hands and trying to gather your thoughts. You could feel Kaz shift next to you, and then he placed a hand on your shoulder to try to comfort you.

"I'll be here," Kaz promised, taking back his hand because he didn't know what exactly to do, "when you're ready to talk."

You nodded, "I know."

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker #the crows #crooked kingdom #inej ghafa #nina zenik #six of crows nina #nina zenik x reader #six of crows x reader #six of crows wylan #six of crows jesper #grishaverse

[lady-ashfade]

Hello Darling, I was wondering if I could get Kaz thing were him and reader have know each other for ages and like with Jordie and she is the old person Kaz is kinds ok with touching, so one day when a heist goes wrong and Y/N gets hurt and Kaz is like freaking out thinking she's going to die and stuff and its like super fluffy and and like Y/N heals and Kazoo like doesn't leave her side

If you could do this it would be amazing

I’m right here.

Kaz Brekker x Fem!Reader

Hope I did this okay! Thanks for the request 🌸

Notes: This is short and fluffy. I also can’t do good aid or this type of thing so I hope it’s okay!

Warning: Pain to comfort, a little angst, blood, crying in pain, bad writing for sure, spelling mistakes probably.

The group rushed through the door almost breaking it off the hinges. “Get her upstairs.” Kaz shouted as Matthias held you in his arms, Nina by his side focusing on your heartbeat. Inej went to the kitchen where you kept your towels and collected everything.

You blood stained Matthias shirt and your eyes flutter, a groan or a whimper leaving your lips a few times. As soon as they got to the top floor of your home they rushed to the bedroom. “On the bed.” Nina fixed the pillows and the sheets, then patted the mattress. Matthias nodded his head and put you down carefully and tried not to give your extra pain.

Wylan almost sobbed at the sight of your arm falling and going limp. You knew who he was, who was his father and you never shamed him for it. He loved you and cared deeply, you were his best friend. Wylan turned away and into Jesper arms, who took him into his arms quickly. “Is she going to be okay?” He asked and kaz shot him a glare that he couldn’t see.

“Yes, now everyone out except Inej.” Nina’s hand tugged at your bloody shirt and they all went out quickly. Kaz stood still and looked at you, “Kaz, she’ll be fine.” Inej rushed passed passed him with her arms full and went by Nini. “I’m staying.” They didn’t have time to fight with him, but they knew even if they did he would stay.

They had no choice but pull your shirt off and leaving you in the thin layer on your chest. Kaz hated seeing your face curl into pain as they cleaned the wound. “Jordie” he remembered the small boy with a body underneath him, shaking it as he cried for his brother. He got light headed and sat down in the chair. Was he going to lose you too? Shaking his head at the thought because he wouldn’t allow that.

A scream cut him out of his thoughts, you opening your eyes as the needle pressed into your skin. “Stop! Please.” You cried at the pain in your side. Nina apologized as she teared up and Inej looked up at you guilty. “Kaz!” You looked up at him and he felt his entire body move on its own and he was by your side within seconds. “Make it stop!” You cried.

He took your hand in his and gave it a small squeeze, “You can handle it.” He stated and you shook your head. A whimper came out as the needle went back, “Can’t.” He leaned closer and rubbed circles on your hand. “You can, I’m right here.” You looked back at him and the pain became too much for you to handle, along with the blood that you lost, or the shock you felt.

Kaz watched your eyes fell closed and your hand losing its grip. He panicked and looked back at your chest and saw it go up and down. “I’m right here.” He whispered. Kaz held your hand the whole time and stayed by your side, even when it was all done. He refused to leave your side, if something happened while he was away he couldn’t live with himself.

Everyone came and stayed for a while, he was there. When everyone left to sleep he stayed there, Nina and Matthias stayed in the other room. Days passed and he was still in the room by your side. He hated the feelings of lose as if the old friend visited him again to take someone else. You couldn’t leave him, he needed you in his life. The light of his life and the feeling of comfort he so rarely felt was only with you.

Kaz sat in the chair beside your bed and his head leaned on the wall behind him with his eyes closed. You stirred yourself awake and took a moment to remember everything. You look around the familiar room and then down at the pain in your side. A bandage wrapped around your side and only in a bra. “Damn.” You cursed and put your head back.

A small snore caught you by surprise and you looked to the side and saw Kaz asleep. He looked calmer then normal but he still had a snarl on his face, it made you laugh a bit. As much as you could without hurting your side. “Kazzel.” You poked his leg. It took a moment and then shot up and it startled you a bit. He looked panicked and then looked down at you, he looked terrified.

“I’m okay.” You whispered with smiled. Kaz blinked as he saw you up and talking. “Y/n.” He pushed up and moved closer to and leaned down the bed. “Kaz, how long have you been here?” He swallowed. “As long as you have been out, you scared the others.” His hand came up to your cheek and softly moved his fingers on the skin.

“I’m not going that easy.” Smirked up at him. He looked at you and his eyes softened. Leaning himself down he pressed his lips against yours and kissed you softly. He was so afraid he would never get to do that again, or to have you in his arms or seen you smile. You took your hand and put it on his chest to remind him that you were still here.

“Good, because I don’t plan on losing you. You’ll stay with me, even if I have to bring you back to life myself.” He whispered against your lips and put his forehead on yours. And he was true, if he had to drag you out of deaths claws he would do it. He’d fight the saints himself to have you stay with him.

“You’re stuck with me, Kaz Brekker.” You teased and connected your lips with his again.

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x fem!reader #Jesper fahey #wylan van eck #inej ghana #Nina zenik #matthais helvar #six of crows #six of crows x reader #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #kaz brekker angst #kaz brekker fluff

[rainydaymiscellaneous]

Into the fire- Chapter one (Kaz x fem!reader)

"I win again."

"Son of a bitch."

"I want another go around."

"Jesper, if you go again, you'll be leaving in your birthday suit, and that is an image we can all live without."

You laughed at Inej who was seated at the table in the Crow Club you all frequently visited. Inej didn't seem fond of the idea of you joining at first. Then, after a week she seemed pretty alright with the idea. You were clean, you were kind, if she asked you to do something, you'd do it. You now even shared a room. Both of you were insomniacs with your own shitshows of trauma. After a late night of warm milk and a discussion, the friendship formed.

Jesper though, seemed friendly from the start. He had a project in mind. The "out" list, he called it. What were things that you wanted to do that you couldn't do because of your prison time or home situation? He wanted you to write it down and he'd try to help make it happen. You had this strange security of this group. They helped mend the pieces Hellgate broke and made them new.

You sat cross legged in a chair beside him watching the rain. Jesper looked at you with a grin. "Aye. That bit, line three." He said. You looked over.

"What?"

"Dance in the rain." He said.

"Oh that's ridiculous." Inej laughed.

"Still. Haven't you ever felt like... free enough to do it. Like just....dance?" You asked. She shook her head and you perked up, along with Jesper. "What?" Inej asked. Jesper got up, taking your hand.

"Come onnn!" You said to her. She shook her head.

"I'll have fun without my cold, thank you." She said.

"Party pooper" Jesper said, running outside with you.

Kaz stepped out of his office, papers in hand as he prepared to walk outside. He looked up though when he heard muffled laughing. Inej shook her head with a smile as her and Kaz watched you play in the rain with Jesper. "What is she doing?" Kaz asked.

"She's enjoying her time being free." Inej said, watching you. Jesper picked you up in a hug, spinning you around as you laughed.

Kaz couldn't explain it. That smile, that radiant laugh. He had only known you two weeks and he seemed to enjoy the fact that you seemingly fit right into the Dregs. Hell, even stone cold Xander at the bar enjoyed your presence. You had this way of making people naturally fall in love with you, whether it be platonic or romantic.

You took Jesper's hat, giggling as he pretended to fall at your feet. The rain was your favorite, even in the Hellgate. It helped tell you a passage of time, it also masked that smell of death the nearby island caused. Now that you were out, you loved the rain even more. That feeling of it on your skin, the freedom to walk in it, actually walk without being on a chained leash. You weren't held by those chains anymore.

Kaz cleared his throat, Inej biting back an urge to smile. She knew Kaz, as much as he didn't want to admit it, was definitely falling for you, just like everyone else. If anything it was worse because it definitely wasn't platonic and it didn't just end with a sexual desire. If he had you, he wanted all of you. Not just your body but your heart and soul. He wanted to know you beyond what he had seen already, and Inej knew that.

"You could join them, you know." Inej said.

"And catch a cold?" He asked sarcastically.

"I don't believe that's stopping them." She said.

"What are they even doing out there?" Kaz asked. "Well, they're dancing." She said.

"Yes, I see that they're dancing Inej, why are they dancing?" He asked.

"Jesper and her have some sort of list and they're checking off one of the things on the list." She said.

"What, like a shopping list?" Kaz asked.

"No like a bucket list." Inej corrected.

"A what?"

"Saints Kaz- a bucket list. A list of things you want to do before you die." He looked at her confused.

"Is she dying?"

"No, she just has a list of things she wants to do now that she's free. I said it was like a bucket list, not actually a bucket list." Inej said with a sigh.

Inej reached over into your bag, handing him a folded piece of paper. He read it. You had at least eighty things on that list. They were things Kaz didn't even think anyone would actually desire. "See the stars in the country, lay in a field of flowers. These are all so... trivial." He said.

"Yeah but as someone who didn't have that freedom to make it trivial, it means the world to her." Inej said. Kaz looked at the list again and rose a brow.

"She doesn't know how to swim." He said.

"Hmm?" She asked. He showed her a bullet point.

"Learn to swim." Inej shrugged. Kaz noticed one bullet point that caught his eye. "Kiss someone I love" was written below learning to swim.

"Y'know, if you want to get to know her better, you could actually talk to her." Inej said. Kaz frowned.

"I don't want to get to know her." He said.

"Right, so you're just contently watching her and Jesper because you're not intrigued by her personality." She said, looking at him. He opened his mouth but closed it, looking at her with a glare. "I'm just saying, if you want to know her, you can spend time with her." Inej said. Kaz rolled his eyes.

"We have a job we need to discuss." He said. Inej sighed, grabbing her coat. The two walked out and Kaz looked at you and Jesper.

"You're going to catch a cold " Kaz said.

"Oh but a fun one, isn't that right Y/n?" Jesper asked. You let out a laugh, one that nearly made him weak in the knees.

"We have a job in the morning. Y/n, be in the Slat office." He said.

"Just me?" You asked. Inej looked over at him, biting back a smirk.

"Just you." He nodded.

You gave a small salute with a grin. "You got it" You said before Jesper scooped you up. You giggled and Kaz cleared his throat to bite back that smile that was forming.

"Have fun with your pneumonia." He said sarcastically.

"We will" Jesper laughed.

The next morning you made for his office, standing at his desk. "I'm surprised you don't have a cold." Kaz said, not looking up from papers.

"Jesper does. I'm used to the cold and damp weather." You shrugged. He nodded. "So, am I going alone?" You asked.

"No." He said. "Oh. I figured it was just me here-"

"I'm going with you." He said. You rose a brow.

"What?" You asked.

"Jesper has seen how you work, Inej has seen how you work, yet I haven't seen it." He said. You shrugged.

"Alright, where are we going?" You asked.

"Financial district." He said. You nodded.

"Alright, lead the way." You said. He got up, walking out with you. The rain from yesterday had stopped, the sun barely peaking out from behind the clouds. You seemed to take note of the rain drops that were still dripping off of awnings. You had a smile on your face, looking at the crows that sat on the edges of the buildings.

"Inej tells me you have a list." He said.

"The whole thing was Jesper's idea." You said.

"It sounds like something he'd come up with." He said. You nodded.

"I love the list though. It makes me live life to the fullest." You said, Kaz looking at you with a brow raised.

"What things are on the list, exactly?" He asked, as if he didn't read the damn thing in full.

"Eh. Simple stuff. Dance in the rain, lay in a field of flowers. Cheesy stuff like that." You shrugged.

"Mm. Sounds... time consuming." He said.

"Well yeah but it's worth it." You said.

"If you say so." He said, walking.

"So what is this job exactly?" You asked.

"Do you know who an Alvia Warner is?" He asked. You shook your head.

"Very wealthy." He said. You nodded, smelling the faint scent of coffee.

"Y'know... it occurs to me that I work for you but I don't know anything about you." You said. He looked over.

"You can ask me things, I might not answer." He said simply.

"Do you like coffee?" You asked.

"Yes." He answered.

"Do you read?" You asked.

"On occasion."

"Hobbies?" You asked.

"None."

"Surely you've got at least one."

"I make my enemies terrified to sleep at night." He answered.

"Alright then." You said.

"If we're being open, what about you?" He asked.

"What about me?" You asked.

"Where are you from?" He asked. You showed a visible discomfort.

"Djerholm" you answered. Kaz stopped and you turned.

"You are nobility?" He asked, staring at you with a slight sense of betrayal.

"No. My family is nobility, I am disowned. I'm just me." You said.

"Why were you disowned?" Kaz asked.

"I didn't wish to wed a man." You said walking again. Kaz followed you.

"I was forced into an arranged marriage where I would've been the subject of a very cruel hearted man. I would've been forced to bare his children, I would've been beaten regularly by him, I would've most likely died by his hand. So I had a choice. Stay there and die, or leave and fight." You said. Kaz found that to be a respectable answer.

"What makes you so sure that you would've died?" Kaz asked.

"Because a girl married him six months after I left. She was found dead with a letter opener in her throat." You said.

Kaz was shocked by this answer.

"Do Inej and Jesper know?" He asked.

"Of course they do. We live in the same complex and I share a room with Inej. Plus, my mannerisms don't exactly scream Ketterdam." You said. So Kaz was the only one unaware of your background. Maybe Inej was right, maybe he did need to actually be around you more.

"Why the sudden curiosity about me?" You asked.

"I gave you food, a bed, a job and yet I have no idea who you are. You should know, I do not like not knowing things that are crucial, so if you have anything else in your bag like another bloodthirsty sister, I'd appreciate it if you told me." He said.

"I have only one other sister and she wouldn't hurt a fly. Eloise is married, with two children. She married a good man. She used to write to me before... Hellgate." You explained.

"Mm. So I must ask. What made Pekka notice you?" Kaz asked. You sighed.

"You pick enough locks, people notice. You charm enough people, their tongues will wag your name eventually in conversation. I wasn't exactly offered a position, my sister found me because of my name being brought up. So she decided to fight dirty. She offered me up to Pekka. She tried to sell me to him." You said. Kaz felt disgusted by this statement. "When I managed to escape him multiple times, they got crafty. Cornered me, framed me and then put me in prison." You said.

"In Pekka's prison." Kaz muttered.

"Exactly. It gave him that control he wanted." You said.

"May I ask a question?" You asked. There it was. Now that it was pointed out, Kaz noticed your polite demeanor.

"Fine."

"How did you manage to break me out without someone looking for me afterwards?" You asked.

"Simple. We found a corspe that looked like you and put it on the rocks." Kaz said.

"But you hadn't met me yet, how did you know-"

"Dahlia showed us a picture." Kaz said.

"Mm." Was all you said.

Kaz noticed that face you made when Dahlia was mentioned. Regret and sadness. "Was Dahlia always like that?" He asked.

"No. Father's cruelty made her that way." You answered.

"Abusive?" Kaz asked.

"He wanted sons. He got three daughters." You said. Kaz grimaced.

"I've never understood the patriarchal bullshit the rich have come up with. Two of my finest crows are women for fuck's sake." Kaz sighed. You laughed, looking at him. He was confused by your reaction.

"Sorry-sorry. For someone who typically keeps his nose out of politics, I find it hilarious that you have such a strong opinion on that." You said. He shrugged.

"I just find it stupid." He said.

"It is stupid." You agreed with a small chuckle

"then we're in agreement, that it's stupid." He said.

When you finally got to the financial district, the afternoon had almost drifted into the evening. You followed Kaz through a small area, leading to a stone wall. He looked at it, clutching his cane. "Warner isn't home, she's at some harbor. Either way, you need to jump the fence and unlock it from the back so I can get in." He said. You nodded. "Now I can try to give you a boost-"

"no need." You said, already backing away from the wall.

You charged full speed at the wall, gaining a good footing before jumping over. You landed next to a sundial, seeing the various gardening tools poking out of a small wood shed nearby. The garden itself was beautiful and had you had the time and were by yourself, you absolutely would've explored more. However, you walked to the back entrance, unlocking it and motioning for Kaz to enter.

He walked with you as you shut the gate, motioning for him to lead the way. He approached a door and you kneeled to the lock. "Does she have any security measures?" You asked.

"None that the casers found." He answered, you nodding as you picked the lock. There was a soft click in a matter of seconds that surprised Kaz. He didn't think that he could even do it that fast.

You walked in, looking around at the home. It was nice, there was no doubt about it. White walls bordered with brown panelings aligned the wall, the sun creeping through the window. You walked. "So we're looking for what exactly?" You asked.

"Documents." He said, walking. You opened a door, revealing a bathroom. You closed it, walking to the foyet. It was a nice home, reminded you almost of the one you grew up in. However your father seemed to take to the color black than the warm red that this home had. This house felt like a home. That place would never be home to you.

You noticed a door, opening it. Or at least tried to open it. It was locked, and you had been doing this long enough to know that locked doors inside a locked house meant something was in that room. Something of value.

You knelt to the lock, picking it. You kept your hand on a dagger just in case something had gone unchecked. It was an empty office, much to your relief. "Kaz" you called. He walked over, nodding.

"This would be where they are." He said walking in. You followed behind, looking at the various shelves.

You saw many classics on the wall, some of which were in different languages. You were rather impressed with the collection. Kaz however, had a frown on his face as he rummaged through the drawers.

"Where the hell is this woman keeping it?" He asked.

"Keeping what?" You asked.

"There is money mixed with the documents. There's nothing here." He said.

"Money mixed with it? What are we looking for? Mortage payments? Taxes?"

"A dowry." He said.

You stared at him. "Kaz, why the hell are we looking for a dowry?" You asked.

"Because, multiple reasons. One, money." He said, still shuffling through the papers.

"And?"

"Two, sabotage." He said. You rose a brow. "Where would you hide a dowry?" He asked. You walked over to the desk, sitting at the chair. "Seriously? Do you need a break right now-"

You noticed a botton under the desk, pressing it and opening a secret compartment. He looked at you. "Sometimes you have to see it from their perspective." You shrugged getting up. Kaz opened the compartment, occasionally looking over his shoulder at you with slight bewilderment.

"Alright. It's here." He said.

"Why sabotage the marriage?" You asked.

"Tax reasons. This marriage goes through, she becomes a high ranked chair. Taxes go up, then it becomes harder to live." He said.

"Didn't take you as a tax evader." You said.

"I'm a criminal of many sorts." He said. You looked and noticed a letter.

You picked it up, reading it. Kaz counted the money to make sure she wasn't too clever, hiding it in several places. Instead it appeared she just stopped at a secret button, much to his relief. You had a frown on your face. "Let's go-"

"Kaz. This marriage is the least of our worries." You said. He looked up. You handed him the letter.

"...Shit."

"I know." You said.

It appears the clever little Alvia was prepared to execute her plan no matter if she married into the vote. Her plan was that if she didn't marry her, she'd have a friend go through with it instead, convincing this Killian fellow to vote for her spot.

You sighed. "What do we do?" You asked.

"It seems that it's a backed up plan. Taking this will do nothing." He said.

"Well it gives you money." You said.

"I can't believe this. How did we not know this?" He asked.

"She might know someone is on this path." You said.

He sighed, running a hand down his face. You had an idea come to mind. "We could sabotage the match." You said.

"Kill one of them?" He asked.

"No. Because if we kill him, that leaves the open seat." You said.

"So kill Alvia." He said.

"That leaves him to find someone else like her to be put in position." You said. Kaz sighed.

"And people wonder why I don't give two shits about politics. Kill them both!" He said.

"Leaves the seat open still and then we're back to square one unless you want a go at the seat." You said.

"I think I'd rather die." He said.

"Exactly. We throw a wrench in the plan." You said.

"How?" He asked.

"We give him another option." You said.

"...I'm still not understanding this." He said.

"You put a different girl in front of him. Look, I know these people, they're easily distracted by pretty shit, especially men. So put a pretty girl like say, me, in front of him and he's too distracted to get married to her. Once the vote of chairs goes through, he hasn't put the money on anyone noteworthy." You said. Kaz stared at you in awe.

"You just came up with this?" He asked.

"Again. Grew up in this. I know how to play the game." You said.

"No kidding." He said. You sighed.

"We need to leave before this woman comes back." You said.

"Agreed. Let's go." He said.

You both headed back, the sun slowly setting as you two walked. Kaz recalled a point on your list. "Hey, follow me for a moment." He said.

"Shortcut?" You asked.

"Something like that." He said. You followed him to a ladder, him tossing his cane up before going up. You were confused but followed him up.

You walked for a little bit before Kaz sat down. "Sit." He said. You obeyed, sitting next to him. The entire time you had been looking at Kaz, trying to figure out what he was doing. You chose to follow his gaze this time, looking at a beautiful sunset.

"Woah" you said surprised.

"I might have taken a look at the list." He admitted. You looked over at him.

"I thought it was time consuming?" You said confused.

"It is. But sometimes it's alright to take a moment to use that time." He said. You smiled slightly, turning back to the view.

"I owe you a lot you know." You said. He looked over.

"Quite a few people do." He said.

"I owe you my life." You said, not taking your eyes off the view.

"I wouldn't go that far-"

"You broke me out of Hellgate. Then when the job went wrong you took me in. You saved my life." You said looking at him.

"Why bring this up?" He asked.

"Because I want you to know that even though we don't know everything about each other, I still will trust you." You said. You sighed. "I don't expect you to trust me. I've heard your faith in others runs very thin. But if you ever need me, you need only to call on me." You said.

Kaz had heard someone pledge their undying loyalty to him before. People tend to be grateful when you give them food when their near the verge of starvation. However, this was the first time he believed in that loyalty. He didn't know how to respond to that. "You're right." He said, looking forward. "I don't trust easily." He said getting up.

Kaz, the entire walk back hadn't said anything else. You didn't know if you upset him or what but it was clear Kaz was in his head. Truth be told he realized what he had wasn't a damn crush at all. This wasn't going to just go away with time like the bit with Inej. He had fallen in love with you and that made him upset.

"Love is vulnerability" he told himself. "Love is a weakness." He hated that feeling. He wanted to yell at you, tell you off and say that you were an annoyance. But everytime he looked at you all he could think was that he could never say that to someone so pure of heart. Which was odd to him because he literally watched you beat a man to death with his cane. However that didn't seem to affect that purity in his mind.

You both entered the crow club, Kaz sighing and sitting at the bar. "Job go well?" Inej asked sitting next to him. You sat with Jesper at a table, slinging your legs over his. "It went... fine." He said. "You got that dowry you wanted, right?" She asked.

"Yes but it seems Alvia has a bigger plan." He said.

"What?"

Kaz explained the situation to Inej, her sighing. "Of fucking course the one job we take with a politician gets messy." She sighed.

"Precisely why I tried to tell Per Haskell to not fucking do it." He sighed.

"It was his idea?" Inej asked.

"Yes! Which I understand why, but I know he's going to go with Y/n's plan which will take up a ton of time!" He said frustrated. She blinked.

"Y/n has a plan?" Inej asked.

So you all sat at a table as you broke down the idea you had in the study. Kaz seemed to agree that the plan would definitely work, the only issue was that something seemed to irk him about it and Jesper could not figure out why. "Well there's just one issue with the plan." Inej said, sitting back.

"Yes?" You asked.

"Say we do it. It works, she's not in the chair, all is well in Ketterdam. What about Killian?" She asked.

"What about Killian?" Kaz asked, looking at her.

"We can't just have her be a distraction and then disappear, it'll be obvious what happened and people will come looking." Inej said.

"Shit." Kaz sighed.

"Well I thought about that actually." You said.

"Look at our girl being all smart over here." Jesper teased. You rolled your eyes but continued.

"A love triangle."

Inej rose a brow.

"What?" Kaz and Jesper asked.

"A love triangle. It's a good way to cut it off. Just have one of the guys do a fake proposal." You shrugged.

"Well we can't just send one in to randomly propose." Inej said. What was Inej doing?

"You'll have to just keep close to one of the guys at social engagements so it appears you're at least familiar with them." Inej said.

Kaz then realized what Inej was doing.

"Hm. That should do the trick to have it not lead back to us." Jesper agreed.

"I know, I'm a genius." You said, satisfied with the plan.

"Well boys, who should do it?" Inej asked, looking directly at Kaz.

"Jesper has the most chemistry with her." Kaz said. You and Jesper both cringed.

"Uhm... Jesper isn't-"

"We're definitely not-"

"No offense but... ew." You said.

"Offense slightly taken! I'm ew!?" Jesper asked. "No not visually! I just mean that it'd be like trying to romance my brother it's..." both you and Jesper shuddered.

"Yeah no, Kaz you're going to have to step up." Jesper agreed. Inej seemed satisfied with her input, a smug smirk on her lips.

"Fine." Kaz sighed.

"Then it's settled." You nodded.

"Yep." Kaz sighed.

"Well then, how about a round?" You asked.

"I can go for one." Jesper said.

"I feel in the spirit to drink as well." Inej said.

"Care to join us boss?" You asked Kaz. He sighed, looking at Inej and then you. He was going to have to spend a lot of time with you regardless. He was apparently now supposed to fake being in love with you. He had to get close to you and he had learned through Inej and Jesper that a good way to form a bond, was through drinking with them after a mission.

"I'll stay for one drink."

#kaz brekker #kaz x reader #kaz x y/n #kaz x you #six of crows #grishaverse #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n

[unrequitedloveletter]

anchor up to me love- okay! kiss prompts! The link is here, all that’s required for this prompt is that you send along a kiss prompt and whatever else you want to add

kaz brekker (x wife!reader) and prompt 17?

Weightless- K.B x fem! reader

okay! I aged up Kaz and the reader because writing this without doing so felt wrong, and I hope you enjoy it!

the prompt you requested was: kisses that occur on your wedding day

fic type- fluff with some angst

Warnings- mentions of Kaz's touch aversion

By the time that Kaz Brekker so much as proposed, you’d been together just shy of a decade; you’d gotten together at nineteen, and Kaz proposed when you were twenty seven. 

It had been small, certainly not something within the likes of the big proposals that could occasionally be seen by Fifth Harbor, not anything like the ones you’d see on the East Stave. There had been no tears, no dramatic confessions of love, no crowding on the streets as people watched Kaz bend down on one knee, hoping to catch a glimpse of the man called Dirtyhands proposing to the one person in the world he held dear. 

It’d happened while you and Kaz were in his office, you going over the plans for the upcoming job while Kaz made sure that everything was right in the Crow Club and checked items off a to-do list pertaining to the maintenance and upkeep of the Slat. 

The coffee Kaz was drinking had long gone cold and you’d drank yours as it were. You were about to go watch the sunset from one of Ketterdams many rooftops with Inej while she visited when Kaz opened a drawer and pulled out a ring box. 

And then, he just asked in a very Kaz-like manner, one that almost didn’t feel like he was popping the question at all. “We’ve been together long enough,” he’d said. “Feels like we’re married as it is.” 

And you’d said yes in a way that felt like yourself. “True enough, Brekker,” you’d said. “And yes, since you’re asking, I will marry you. I do want us to have a wedding, though. We are not getting married in a courthouse.” 

And Kaz had smirked, nodded. You took the ring box up from where he’d placed it on the desk, pocketed it, shot him a a smirk of your own, and left. 

All of that got you to that specific moment, engagement ring on your finger and Kaz’s own visible on the chain he’d kept around his neck, one that’d always been hidden to most but visible around the right people. 

Love was weakness to most in the Barrel even still, and though Kaz’s views on that had indeed gone through the slow process of change, keeping the ring hidden was what he’d always done. The only people who’d ever seen it were those he trusted the most in the Dregs--Anika, Pim, the crows--and nobody outside of that circle. 

You’d chosen Colm to officiate the small ceremony. It wasn’t much more than the crows, Anika and Pim, and the small gray stray cat that’d taken to sitting on the living room windowsil of the Van Eck mansion. 

The candles were lit and the lamps burning low. The entire room had a very distinct, very comfy-cozy feel to it. There were books lining the shelves, grins on the faces of everyone who watched. Wylan was playing flute music as the gray stray cat climbed into the area through the open window and settled at Jespers feet. 

The flute music died down and the atmosphere calmed a bit as Colm rubbed his hands together in an attempt to grab the attention of the small crowd. It worked to his advantage, and you noticed out of the corner of your eye as Wylan tucked his flute back into its case and joined Jesper, grin on his face as the pairs hands entwined. 

“We’re gathered here today, April 22nd, in the wedding of Kaz Brekker and Y/N L/N,” said Colm. “The two have written their own vows and promised to keep it short and sweet, so I’ll allow Y/N to state hers first.”

Kaz was looking at you in a way that he’d never looked at anyone before. The gaze was less neutral, the love he felt for you something he’d long learned how to school out of his gaze. He’d let it in that day and regardless, his pupils always dilated when he looked at you, if Ninas words had been the truth. 

“We did agree on short and sweet,” you said, grin spreading to your face as you looked at him. You knew your cheeks would be in pain by the end of the night because of your near-constant grin, the sheer happiness you felt that day having been unmatched to any day prior.  

“So, I’ll just say that the past eight years with you have been the best of my life, easily. I’ve loved you since I was nineteen years old, Kaz Brekker, and no amount of near death experiences, no amount of money in the world as a direct result of those near death experiences, could ever change that for even a moment.” 

There had been a plethora of close calls, too many times wherein a healer or a medik showed up at almost the wrong time. Too many to count, and neither you or Kaz had ever wanted to count your near deaths as it were; you just knew that you’d saved each other once when you were seventeen, again two years later, and your relationship had been a bit of a back and forth of saving each other ever since. 

“Kaz, it’s your turn,” said Colm. 

In a gesture that you knew was absentminded but everyone else in the room thought to be calculated, you saw Kaz’s hand stray to the engagement ring on the chain that sat on his neck. 

“I uh,” Kaz began. You felt the gaze of one of Wylans staff, knew that Kaz was trying to stall, see if they would leave and spread the rumors surrounding the ring on the chain around his neck. When they did go, Kaz continued. 

“I remember us agreeing on short and sweet, too, and I hope that this fits the bill for that well enough,” he said. “I suck with vows. I cannot do strongly worded love confessions or deep, meaningful professions of longing. In our time together, I don’t recall ever having written you a love note, but I do care. I care about you more than I have ever cared about anyone else, more than I ever will care about anyone who comes into our lives from this point on.” 

Kaz was the person who remembered dates. He remembered the day you’d gotten together ‘officially’--which really just meant the day that Jesper had asked you if you were together, and you’d both promptly said yes. That day had been January 18th--and he remembered random things. 

Things you’d said offhandedly, be it that you’d been craving the pastries from the bakery down the street, that you’d needed to get a new notebook for your journaling or that you loved the fit of his shirts and the smell of his cologne. 

“All right,” Colm said. “Kaz Brekker, if you take Y/N L/N as your wife, in sickness and in health, all that you have to say now are those two wonderful words always said at these ceremonies. Do you take her?” 

“I do.” 

Colm turned to you. “Do you take him as your husband? Sickness, health, and the rest of it?” 

The grin you held was beginning to hurt. “I do.” 

“The bride and groom may kiss,” Colm said. “Or, well, whatever it is the two of you have planned.” 

Whether or not you would kiss had been the topic of discussion nearly every single day you’d planned out the small ceremony. 

Since you and Kaz were twenty three, Kaz had been working on his touch aversion on a consistent basis. Some days were good, some days were bad and others certainly worse. It just came down to which number the dice would land on at that particular moment. 

Kaz stepped forward. “May I?” 

You nodded. “You may.” 

The kiss was quick, something that most would’ve thought to have barely been a kiss, but to you and Kaz both, it was everything. 

It was another step taken in his recovery, something as monumental as the feeling of his bare hand in yours, the brush of gloved fingers against your cheekbone on the boat back from a particularly deadly job in a different country. 

Kaz shot you a smirk to cover his relieved smile. He’d not felt the waters rise in that particular series of moments. He’d made it, he’d been okay. That ignited a flame of hope within him, one that would not be stomped out the next time he’d had a bad day. Hope was a very fickle thing, but since beginning to work on healing, Kaz had learned that it was a very strong thing, too. 

“The bride and groom, everyone!” Colm said. 

You were looking in Kaz’s eyes as Colm had spoken, heart heavy with the love you felt for him.

Kaz had been looking at you, too, a flame of hope ignited in his heart as it grew so light with the love he felt for you that it almost felt weightless. 

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #six of crows #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix

[rheasesposts]

Idiots

kaz brekker x crows!female!reader

summary : Kaz and Y/N are in love and neither can admit it until Y/N is hurt.

——————————————————————————

“Why am I literally always the arm candy?” Y/N complained quietly to Jesper as she held his arm and smiled at passing by merchants. He looked down at her for a second then pulled her closer.

“Because you distract people with your beauty, love.” Jesper winked and grabbed her a champagne glass. She inhaled the liquid in one go. “And I think Kaz likes seeing you all dressed up.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Jes.” Y/N murmured to the sharpshooter, and Jesper frowned. “He is in love with Inej, and I don’t blame him if he is.”

“You are so blind.” A familiar snarky voice stated behind the pair. Nina popped up next to them in a similar, revealing dress like Y/N, but her partner was Matthias. “He only has heart palpitations for you, my dear.”

“I only have heart palpitations for Inej.” Y/N claimed and shared an amused glance with Matthias over Nina’s extravagant curls. Nina huffed and kept moving along the dance floor with Matthias trailing like a lost puppy. “So, when do we leave?”

“When a shot is fired at the ceiling.” Jesper whispered and whipped out his gun to snipe the chandelier. Perfect hit. People began screaming as the glass decoration began falling towards the floor. Y/N and Jesper made their escape to a different part of the merchant’s house that held the jewels Kaz instructed them to carefully steal and replace with fakes. A guard rounded the corner, and Y/N impaled his chest with a dagger. Y/N quickly unlocked the door to the merchant’s office and dug around his stuff while Jesper kept watch at the door. “I see Nina and Matthias.”

Y/N merely hummed and placed a hand on a book that was too hollow for her liking. She opened it to find one of the jewels they needed. It went into her pocket, and the search resumed. A safe was in the corned of the vast space, and Y/N gravitated to it with her lock picking device. The safe breathed as it was released from the clutch of the lock, and Y/N started piling the jewels into her bust and boots.

“Matthias. The fakes, please.” Y/N called to him, and he stopped his staring at Nina to do as asked. Y/N stashed the fake jewels where they belonged in the safe and closed it swiftly then put the one jewel back in the hollow book. “Let’s go, ladies.” Jesper laughed maniacally before hurrying Y/N and Nina out with Matthias eying around to see any more guards.

Matthias was too slow to warn Y/N as he peered at a suspicious smoke coming out of a door before an explosion shook the place and blasted the four crows haphazardly across the hallway and into expensive glass and stone art pieces. Y/N got most of the hit, and Matthias quickly came to and scoured the haze for the girl. He found her with burn marks on her face and arms and a large knife in her side. “Nina!”

Jesper and Nina came running to where they heard Matthias shout, and Nina checked Y/N’s pulse, worried. Jesper looked at his watch and distantly heard marching footsteps. “We gotta go, or this will become worse.” Matthias cradled Y/N into his arms and stood with Nina and Jesper clearing the way to the exit. Her dress was torn up, and Matthias could see where she hid all the gems which was making him slightly uncomfortable, but he pushed through that to get Y/N to the Slat. The race there was excruciating since Matthias was concerned if Y/N was losing too much blood.

Inej was startled when the Slat door crashed open, and a basically wailing Nina came in and shoved all things off a long table. Inej caught sight of a limp figure in Matthias’s hold and her breath got lodged in her throat. “Kaz! Inej yelled.

“Set her down! Get me antiseptics and bandages.” Nina ordered Matthias and Jesper who both complied immediately to the heartrender. Inej ripped what was left of Y/N’s gown and jewels pooled out of the ripped material. Inej ignored that and briefly apologized to her dear friend before stripping the girl to only her undergarments so Nina could work effectively. Jesper and Matthias returned with Nina’s requested materials.

Nina poured the alcohol into the burns, and Y/N’s comatose state was dissolved, and her body jolted. Y/N began groaning and shaking. Inej’s eyes teared as she held her down. Matthias wrapped the burns after Nina cleaned them and did her best to patch them. Jesper focused on drinking the whiskey he stole from Kaz’s cabinet. Kaz had yet to come down because he didn’t want to see the girl he loved in such agony. Y/N’s voice became raspy from the screaming she was now doing.

A sharp pain erupted in her side as Nina pulled out the knife. “Please.” Is the word that fell from Y/N’s mouth. “No.” A weak hand grazed Inej’s forearm, and Inej gripped it in comfort. Nina ended her needed torture on the girl then wrapped up her last wound. “Nina.”

“Yes, yes?” Nina leant over her friend.

“I-“ Y/N cleared her throat with difficulty. “Bed.”

“Of course, yes your bed.” Matthias immediately swooped Y/N up carefully and trekked up the winding stairs of the Slat to Y/N’s room. She was placed on her bed, and Nina sat in the room to make sure all was well throughout the night.

Kaz gathered the courage to enter Y/N’s room and found a sleeping Nina and Y/N, one’s breathing more shallow than the other. He sat on the edge of the bed and gazed at Y/N’s face. So captivating. Inspiring. If he were an artist, he would never stop painting her til his last breath and finger shutter. If he were a writer, she would be the topic of every poem, book, journal entry. Anything and everything would be about her. But he wasn’t an artist, nor a writer. He was a bastard who didn’t deserve any sliver of attention this woman provided. She deserved to be painted and written about, not someone who couldn’t even love or treat her properly. His thoughts consumed like the flame of the wick on the candle next to Nina’s chair. He was sure Y/N was something he could never obtain. She was untouchable and pure, nothing a bastard earned.

Y/N jostled in her sleep, and Kaz froze in his spot with his cane held right. Her head lifted and she focused on Nina before looking to Kaz. He silently glared into her and wished for the blush to run away from his cheeks for being caught.

“Kaz?” Y/N croaked. “Is something-wrong?” There was a pause between her words because of the lack of hydration. Kaz shook his head and got up to leave but her voice travelled to his ears and even further in his stone heart, “Can you stay?” Kaz contemplated and sat back down. “I got-all the jew-jewels.”

“I saw.” Kaz said, and Y/N’s head found its way back to the pillow. “Thank you.” Y/N didn’t expect that, but nodded and smiled at Dirtyhands.

“Mmhm.” Y/N exhaled. Kaz mentally battled himself, and Y/N could see the warfare in his eyes as he held out his hand to her. Gloved fingers met shaky, insecure ones. Kaz thought he would feel cold and lumpy, dead fingers but they were warm and soft, nothing like the floating bodies. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He mumbled. His hand gripped hers tightly. “I-“ Y/N awaited what the ever so secretive man would say. “I do not like Inej.”

“Ok? That’s rude, Kaz.” Y/N mockingly voiced. “She does a lot for you.”

Kaz rolled his eyes at her remark, and his mouth formed a slight smile. “No, I am not in love with her.” Y/N tightened her fingers around his. “I want you, Y/N. I need you. You are what I yearn for.” Kaz fought against all his doubts and demons as he confessed his love for the mesmerizing woman in front of him. “I cannot imagine a day without you by my side.” Y/N softly stroked his hand.

“I feel the same.” Y/N admitted, and Kaz’s body became less tension filled. Her voice brought him back to her and the moment.

“So, you will have me?” Kaz said. Ans this wasn’t Brekker, Bastard of the Barrel, or Dirtyhands. This was Kaz Reitvald who justed wanted to be loved by someone who loved him back.

Y/N brightly smiled, and Kaz’s eyes burned brighter with her, “Yes.”

The next morning, Nina’s happy screams woke up the whole of Ketterdam.

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #jesper fahey #nina zenik #matthias helvar #kaz x inej #inej gjafa #six of crows x reader #shadow and bone #wylan van eck #nina x inej #kaz x you #six of crows

[auroravictorium]

karma (k.b.)

trick me once, trick me twice. don't you know that cash ain't the only price?

Summary: kaz gets his first piece of information about reader's whereabouts, and pekka gets his revenge; inej makes a pivotal discovery, and kaz vows to kill pekka rollins. Pairing(s): kaz x fem!reader (established relationship) Word Count: 3.8k Warnings: moderate violence [choking, breaking bones, punching, kicking], mentions of blood, mentions of killing (in the context of a threat), violent!kaz (but not as violent as he could be, y'know)

Genre: angst + action

Author's Note: another beast of a part for you guys!! i hope you all enjoy, and thank you to everyone for your kind words!! you're all so sweet i'm sobbing - promise we're gonna get a reunion between kaz and reader soooooooon! then some fluff hehe.

grishaverse masterlist

"I asked around," Nina said quietly, just for Kaz to hear as they stood behind a crumbling chimney atop a bank in the Financial District. It wasn't far from where Y/N was taken, and with this view, Nina couldn't blame Jesper and Inej for losing sight of the mercenaries. In the tangle of Ketterdam streets, it was too easy for them to get away. "Only three mercenary groups based in Kerch use ether."

"Which groups?" Kaz said, peering around the chimney and glancing at his pocket watch. Pekka Rollins's closest financier should be coming up for his hourly smoke anytime now, and Kaz was growing impatient. Not that he had much patience in the past three days, most of it shot by worry and an inability to stop wondering if you were still alive. He knew Pekka Rollins; he wouldn't choose a mercenary group that wasted time.

"-And the-Are you even listening to me?" Nina said, cutting herself off and looking at him with a raised brow. Her unimpressed look softened when she saw his pursed lips: his only tell that he was somewhere else, probably thinking about Y/N. "Kaz. We're going to find her."

Kaz turned and masked his concern with a scowl. "Of course we will. That's why we're here," he said sharply. She's in this mess because of me. The thought had plagued him since Inej and Jesper told him you were gone; finding you was the only way he could fix this. He wouldn't accept any alternative. "Which group uses ether the most?"

"They call themselves the Dykhaniye." Nina closed her eyes and felt for nearby heartbeats; none, except for Kaz's. "Wylan said ether is highly flammable. As far as anyone has heard, they're the only ones able to use it successfully without any significant losses on their end. Others have tried, but..." She shook her head to clear her thoughts. She didn't want to think about what ether was doing to Y/N. Difficulty breathing, fatigue, vomiting... Nina knew Y/N was strong but didn't know how long she could survive being repeatedly poisoned.

"We need to find where they're based. That's where they'll have taken her." Kaz clutched onto his cane and fought to keep his breathing steady. Nina's wording was deliberate. No significant losses on their end. If they found Y/N, what state would she be in? Would they kill her, or would exposure to the ether do it? "I'll send word to Inej."

"She's already investigating leads." Nina held up a hand, silencing Kaz as he opened his mouth to question how, exactly, Inej could already be investigating leads if Kaz had just heard this information. Nina tilted her head toward the door and mouthed, Later.

Fine. Kaz would question why he didn't hear about this first once he was done beating the shit out of the financier. Get the information, ask Inej what she knows, and find Y/N. He snapped his mouth shut and angled his head, listening as the door to the roof creaked open. The metal hinges squeaked terribly, grating Kaz's ears and making Nina cringe. 

The door creaked shut, and Kaz heard footsteps approaching the edge of the roof. Nina raised her hands, already feeling for the man's breathing. It came to her as naturally as wind to sails, and she started to curl her fingers.

Kaz held up a finger. Wait. He glanced around the side of the chimney and watched the man next to the decorative metal fencing along the roof's edge. It was rusted, and pieces flaked off as the man lit his first cigarette, inhaled deeply, then tapped the ashes off using the fence.

He puffed away, looking over the city, and Kaz lowered his finger. 

As the man inhaled, Nina clenched her fist.

The financier choked on the smoke and dropped the cigarette from his mouth. His hands went to his throat, and he stumbled back from the metal fence. He hacked and coughed, tipping forward until he sank to his knees. As his lips turned blue, he swung his head wildly from side to side to look around for anyone who could help.

Instead, he found Kaz, who had no intentions of helping the man get back to his smoke break. Vengeance burned in those icy blue eyes, and the man gaped in fear like a fish pulled from the sea.

Kaz brought his cane down on the man's skull. The man's mouth moved like he wanted to cry out, and he slumped to the side onto the rough surface of the roof. Blood seeped down the man's temple, and a sick satisfaction ran through Kaz, fueling his wrath and setting him ablaze from the inside out. He hauled the financier back to his knees with a gloved hand on the man's collar, then started dragging him toward the teetering metal fence.

The man writhed underneath his grip, his hands going to Kaz's wrist and pulling, trying to pry his fingers away. But Kaz's grip was as unbreakable as his determination to bring Ketterdam to its knees until he found Y/N, and he had no problem destroying this man and this city if it meant making sure you were safe.

Kaz positioned the man so he hung partially over the fence, his face turned to the streets below. Nina released her grip on the man's lungs enough for him to breathe some air but not enough to scream or make much noise. The man went slack once he could gasp, but Kaz wasn't foolish enough to release him.

"I'm only going to ask this nicely once," Kaz hissed, leaning in so his voice was a terrible, dangerous whisper in the financier's ear. His eyes glinted in the setting sun, the icy blue color turning a sinister shade of orange as his irises caught the sun's fading rays. "Pekka Rollins paid off mercenaries recently. How much did it cost?"

Nina stayed behind the chimney, giving Kaz the space to work, but she peeked at the man as he gasped for air. His heart raced against his ribcage fast enough to make her want to wince, and his lungs strained with the effort to keep up with his panic. Saints, Kaz was trying to send this man into heart failure before getting any answers.

"I can't-" the man wheezed through blue lips, "tell you." His face throbbed as gravity forced his blood to his head, and his breathing trembled.

Kaz pushed the financier further over the barrier, which creaked dangerously under the man's weight. "You can, and you will," Kaz said. He jerked his chin toward the street below, filled with passersby on their way home for the evening or to the East Stave for some debauchery to relieve the workday's stress. "Or I just might lose my grip." 

"He'll kill me," the man whimpered. He coughed, and his mouth tasted like copper. "He said he'd kill me."

"I think you're worried about the wrong person." Kaz kicked the metal fence, and the segment beneath the man buckled. The financier cried out as he hung over the alleyway, supported only by Kaz's grip on his collar. He finally seemed to realize that Kaz intended to let him hurtle off the roof headfirst if he didn't get answers, and he sobbed a quiet plea for help. Nobody looked up, the sound muffled by a twitch of Nina's fingers. 

"How. Much," Kaz pressed. His arm was beginning to strain from holding the man up, and his leg was none too pleased with the exertion required to keep his weight steady on the roof's edge. 

"Two million kruge," the man sobbed. "Mercenaries wouldn't accept anything less."

Kaz tilted his head. "Is he telling the truth?" he said too calmly, the question intended for Nina. He could feel her eyes on him, on his complete indifference to the man's desperation to survive. But this paled in comparison to what Kaz wanted to do in revenge for your kidnapping. 

Nina winced, though Kaz's tone was outwardly neutral. She peered at his face. His expression bordered on bloodthirsty, and Nina swallowed. "Yes," she said softly.

Sometimes it was easy to forget how Kaz got his reputation, especially when Nina saw him around Y/N. He was always kind with her, as tender or gentle as a man with such sharp edges could be, and he never responded to her with anything other than a racing heart or caught breaths. 

Kaz loved Y/N, whether he admitted it to himself or not, and Nina's ability to hear the signs made her forget that he could be like this. And he would if it meant keeping his Crows secure, his business intact, Y/N alive and safe.

Kaz surveyed the man's face, the tears in his eyes, and his moving lips as he murmured prayers to his saints. He considered Nina's confirmation of the financier's truthfulness, yet how easy it could be to throw this man off the roof and be done with it. It would be merciful compared to what Kaz wished he could do to this man for his role in your kidnapping, enabling Pekka Rollins to hire the mercenaries.

Chances are, the financier didn't even know your name. It wasn't in his purview.

Kaz clenched his jaw. This man's death could send a message and make it clear that Kaz would only do worse until he got the information he wanted. He could cause terror, drive the Dime Lions out of hiding and force someone to yield information. It was what Pekka Rollins would do if Kaz had inflicted the magnitude of pain that Rollins had.

His brother. His childhood. His Crows. His love.

He jerked the financier upright once more, and the man let out a sob that Kaz cut off as he shoved the man away from the roof's edge. The man rolled a few feet away and stopped at the bottom of the chimney, crying and mumbling prayers into his palms. 

Kaz crossed over to him in two long strides and brought the blunt end of his cane down on the man's ribcage hard enough to fracture bone. Nina winced when she heard the crunch, pressing herself into the side of the chimney; the cold seeped from the bricks into her back, and she squeezed her eyes shut.

"Which group of mercenaries did Rollins need the money for?" Kaz growled. He moved the tip of his cane to an unbroken rib and leaned just enough weight on it that the man choked on another cry. 

"The Dykhaniye," the man wailed. He'd given up on trying to conceal information from Kaz Brekker, who knew exactly what buttons to push to get what he wanted. "I don't know what he wanted with them." He turned his head to the side and spat to clear his airway, creating a mess of blood and tears down the side of his face and on the ground.

Kaz lifted his cane, and the man immediately tried to wriggle away from him as if he could get far enough to be out of reach of the crow-headed cane. "That wasn't so difficult, was it?" Kaz said. He tossed a wad of kruge at the man's battered chest, and the bills scattered across the rooftop on a light breeze. "For your trouble."

It was mocking, but he could have done much worse. If the financier had any sense left, he would take the money and get the hell out of the city before Pekka Rollins caught wind of his men breaking under threat from Kaz Brekker.

He turned and caught Nina's gaze. Giving her a curt nod of thanks, he spun on his heel and went for the door leading off the roof. She rushed to follow, sparing a short glance at the sobbing man next to the chimney. "You were right," he said quietly. It was the closest he would get to approving of her telling Inej of her suspicions before him. "Now, we wait to hear what Inej knows."

-

Your head snapped sharply to the side as Pekka Rollins cracked his knuckles across your cheek. Pain blossomed across your jaw, throbbing hard enough to rattle your teeth, and you bit your tongue to silence your cry. Every breath you took stung your lungs, and your chest struggled to rise and fall against the pressure of your broken ribs. 

You fought to stay upright, forced to shift your knees against the hard ground without using your hands to balance. Your right knee scraped harshly against the stone floor, and the pain was worse than anything Rollins had done to you. It shot up and down your leg like a strong electric shock straight to your nerves, and it took everything you had to not let a sob of agony cross your lips. 

Breathe. Let the pain out through your lungs. You forced a trembling breath in and out, trying to imagine the pain in your body turning to mist. You thought of the low clouds that lingered in Ketterdam during the summer, how they occasionally brought cool breezes along to soothe the sweating inhabitants of the city. 

It had been days since you'd seen the sky, and thinking of Ketterdam's consistently gray skies brought you a unique mix of pain and comfort. What you would give to be under the clouds with the breeze on your skin.

If you got out of here alive, you would never again take the sight of the sky for granted.

When. When I get out of here.

"I'll ask you again," Rollins said, pacing before you like a predator cornering its prey. His hair drooped in his face, and the front of his clothes was stained dark with broth. There was a slice across his cheekbone from a shard of porcelain, and blood was smudged across his knuckles and fingertips. Yours and his. He looked nothing more than the scum he was, with any semblance of composure or pride wiped from his face as you refused to break under his fists. "Why did Brekker want those documents?"

You spat at his feet. Blood splattered the hem of his trousers and his polished shoes, but the wicked satisfaction wasn't worth a slap jerking your head to the other side. This time, a soft groan of pain slipped out. Your cheek throbbed, and you swiped your tongue across your dry lips as you panted. In. Out. Keep breathing.

You could do this. You could keep fighting long enough to make a plan. The mercenaries had long since left the two of you alone; all you had to do was get past Pekka, swipe the knife from his belt, and saw away at the rope binding your wrists. If they hadn't dragged you up a flight of chipped stone stairs and away from your cell, you would consider using a shard from the bowl you'd shattered; if you made it back down, you would be sure to pocket one. Use what you have.

Pekka leaned down and grabbed your chin, forcing you to look up at him. "You're making this harder than it needs to be, lass," he snarled. "Perhaps I should have passed you over to the Stadwatch. You've killed a fair share of my men, and murder can be a serious charge if I want it to be."

"Then do it," you spat. Blood dripped down your lip, and you considered spitting it in his face. You didn't bother licking it away, unwilling to let him see how much the metallic taste in your mouth bothered you. "Why waste your time?" 

"Because you're valuable to Brekker, stupid girl." Rollins laughed, a grating, taunting sound that sent a shiver down your spine. You flexed your fingers, wishing you could wrap them around his throat and strangle the sound out of his lungs. All of this is because Kaz poses a threat to his business. 

But there had to be more. There had to be something Kaz hadn't told you.

No. Save the doubt for later. 

Pekka kicked you in the ribs, knocking you back into the wall. Fiery pain rushed to your chest, and whatever air you'd gathered slipped past your lips in a soft wheeze. Your back ached from its collision with the stone wall. Everything hurt, and you weren't sure you could stand.

A bloody cough slipped past your lips, and tears welled up in your swollen eyes. You wished you could wipe them away, avoid showing Pekka Rollins how weak you were feeling. But you were powerless to stop them, and you had no choice but to lean your head back against the stones and squeeze your eyes shut. Stop crying. Breathe.

Breathing could only get you so far.

Pekka turned and slammed his fist against the heavy oak door keeping you inside this room with him. Inside this damn warehouse, from what you'd gathered on your straggling, painful walk up from your cell. You wished you had the strength to attack Pekka while his back was turned, but you could only bring yourself to open your eyes as the door opened and two of the mercenaries entered.

Sergei and Fjerdan Asshole. Just the people you wanted to see.

You glowered at them as they jerked you to your feet, and Sergei only gave you an unpleasant smirk. Another cough bubbled up in your chest as the mercenaries hauled you toward the door, filling your mouth with blood. You glared at Pekka Rollins as you passed him, and he looked back at you smugly.

"I can't wait until Brekker sees what I've done to you," he drawled, following you to the office door. "His rage will make it even more satisfying when I kill him."

When I kill him.

Something hot and red and destructive washed over you. Every ounce of pain in your body seemed to temporarily numb, yielding to the pure wrath burning beneath your skin. You would bear as much pain as Pekka Rollins gave you, the bruises and cuts and broken bones. But you would make sure there was nothing left of him, the Dime Lions, or Ketterdam if he went after Kaz; losing Kaz was a pain you refused to bear.

You looked over your shoulder at Rollins, piercing him with a simmering glare that would have made anyone else shrink back. "You have a spot of blood on your tie," you snarled. Then, you spat your mouthful of blood in his face. 

Rollins reeled back with a roar of outrage, wiping away the blood but only succeeding in smearing it through his beard. A murderous look filled his eyes, but he didn't have enough time to act on it before the mercenaries shoved you out of the office and toward the dark stairs leading to the warehouse basement.

-

Inej darted up the stairs to Kaz's office, panting and shoving past meandering Dregs coming out of their room for an early breakfast. She swung around the corner and pushed open Kaz's door, nearly hitting Jesper. He jumped out of the way and surveyed her disheveled state, opening his mouth to, presumably, ask what happened.

She dropped a stack of papers on Kaz's desk and leaned against the chair across from his to catch her breath. "Straight from the office of Pekka Rollins," she gasped, holding her side. "The Dykhaniye are based in Zierfoort. They own every warehouse complex in the city as a front for their operations. That's where they took her."

Kaz immediately shoved his map to the side and started flipping through the papers, glancing up at Inej. "How? I told you not to risk it." He jerked a transaction list free from the stack, and his icy eyes scanned it for any precise information. Which warehouse, which side of the city, anything that might expedite their search for Y/N. "Jesper, the carriage. Now."

"On it, Boss." Jesper gently squeezed Inej's shoulder on his way out. She squeezed his wrist in thanks. "Good job," he whispered. He left the office, and his thundering footsteps rattled the floorboards as he moved down the stairs.

"Wylan staged a distraction. The grunts around the perimeter of the Emerald Palace had to go investigate an explosion on one of their ships in Fourth Harbor." Inej straightened up and searched Kaz's face. "I shouldn't have gone without letting you know, but she's my friend, Kaz. I can't sit idly knowing I could have done something to stop this."

"There was nothing you could have done," Kaz said quietly. He stood and rolled the papers up, stuffing them in the inner pocket of his coat. He met Inej's gaze, and she was relieved to find no anger there. None directed at her, anyway. "Pekka had this plotted out for months. They found servant stairwells that we thought were blocked off, and he hired the best mercenaries that kruge could buy."

Kaz didn't blame Inej or Jesper. He blamed himself entirely. I was the one who put her at risk. I let her become my weakness, and she's paying the price. He grabbed his cane and a pistol from some hidden spot beneath his desk and spun the latter in his fingers.

Inej examined Kaz's face, searching for any hint of a contradiction to his words. When she found none, her shoulders loosened. "I'll get Nina and Matthias. Wylan is already downstairs." 

"Matthias and Wylan stay. They'll watch over the Club and the Slat until we return." Kaz grabbed his hat, stared at it for a moment, then put it back down. You were the last to wear it when you used it as a disguise to get him breakfast on his birthday. It reminded him too strongly of you, of his failure to say what he longed to say before the bank job. 

You expressed your love for him so often and so carefully that he wondered why you woke up every day and still chose him, when he could barely tell you that he cared without choking on his past. Would you still choose him when all of this was said and done? Would you realize that he was at fault for this, that he was nothing more than a shell of a man, too haunted, too broken, too bruised, who brought pain to anyone who dared to get close?

Kaz blinked back to the present, pulling himself from the color of your eyes, the memories of his fingers clasping your favorite necklace around your neck. "Let's go," he said quietly, ignoring Inej's concerned look. She'd probably said his name a few times. He didn't care. "It's a day's trip to Zierfoort."

And he stalked out of the office, leaning heavily on his cane and pondering how it would feel to finally kill Pekka Rollins.

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#kaz brekker #crooked kingdom #six of crows #six of crows duology #kaz brekker x reader #kazzle dazzle #soc kaz #soc fanfic #soc inej #soc nina #nina zenik #jesper fahey #soc jesper #shadow and bone #the grishaverse #shadow and bone season 2 #sab season 2 #grishaverse fanfic #freddy carter #the crows #inej ghafa #inej my queen #midnights but make it kaz brekker #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x you #matthias helvar #soc matthias #wylan van eck #soc wylan #sab season two

[aysegust]

I WILL RESCUE YOU. - K.B

A/N: Okay, this comes of very late I know but I need to make somethings clear. If you know that English is not my main language, so I didn't write a second part for this fiction because of that and now I felt ready for this and I hope you'll like this. I'm in my exam week and I will take an exam for college end of the year so, I can't be active a lot, however, I want to write again so... I will write ofc! -So this is the second and last part for I WISH I WERE- Warnings: Angst, fluff ending. I don't own you or anything and this lovely song is from Lauren Daigle - Rescue :) Word count: 4K! :)

After that incident, you were hiding behind the shadows. As to be not seen or not to be heard. What happened with eavesdropping on Kaz and only to be caught up to Jesper and with that left him dumbfounded was making you sick. You wanted to talk to them, you wanted to laugh with them, or just sit and plan a heist with them.

 However, your desires were left to burn inside you. Of course, you felt pain a hundred times but this was the most painful of them all… You wished, you deeply wished to come back to the day that you injured yourself. You wouldn't make that mistake again so you wouldn't get hurt like this. Because this was so painful…

"Thank you for the sweater." Inej's voice rang inside your head. You replayed that scene like thousand times and the aftermath…

 You were sitting in the Crow Club, watching men gamble and quietly drinking your tea, too caught up in the thoughts but a voice interrupted you. “Care to explain why you're so distant, Y/N?” It was Inej, your beloved friend. You loved Inej, truly. She was so sweet towards you. She loved you and you loved her too. So, you just couldn't blame her for this whole situation. You looked at her, so sleepy. 

“Well, a lot is going on so, I had things to arrange-" She cut you so softly yet so sharp. “Don't lie to me, I'm your friend.” She took a deep breath and looked at you with worried glances. “Y/N, I'm worried about you. We all are.” That sentence made you smirk a bit. Because you wanted to laugh about the idea that Kaz cared about you and worried for you… 

“Seriously Inej, don't you have better things to do?” You felt your stomach twisted to see your dear friend's sadder glances. She sighed. “I'm not gonna push you, but know this, If you ever need to talk I'm with you.” You squeezed her hand. “Thank you, Inej. That means a lot to me.” You said as she left you alone. To yourself.

"I wish I were Inej." That poisoned thought came to your mind again as you felt unease so you got up and about to leave for fresh air, someone shouted your name. Saints! Can't you just leave me be… You thought to yourself as you turned around and found Jesper staring at you with grinned teeth. 

“There you are! I missed the bloody face of yours, angel!” You couldn't help yourself but smile at him. “You don't have to shout at me, you know.” He came to your side to hold you. “Can't help it, you were ghosting me, and even I was the innocent one!” You smirked. “Can you believe it?” He went on with his ramble again, only you shushed him as you hugged him. Deep down, you felt a bit guilty. You never wanted to ghost them. All of them, nevertheless you did. You had to, you needed to pull yourself together.

Suddenly, you felt crept about the idea, someone was watching you.

You are not hidden

There's never been a moment

You were forgotten

 When you looked up and saw his face through Jesper's shoulder, you quirked up. “What's wrong?” Jesper whispered into your ear. “Nothing, I felt cold.” You broke the hug as you avoided Kaz's glances towards you. “It was good to see you, too, Fahey.”

 You had remembered the night as you left the Slat to Ketterdam's cold streets, as Jesper behind you, yelling for you to stop running away. As you confronted him about what you heard, you remembered he held you against his arms, as an amazing brother as himself. You wouldn't forget that.

 As the time passed to the night and you heard from Jesper that Kaz wanted to see you, you were so sure that he now wanted you to leave the club as you were the weakling. You stepped firmly into his office. Couldn't be able to forget the incident so you just shushed your emotions to taking the better of you. “You wanted to see me?” You told him with a little hint of concern in your voice, however, you masked it. 

 “You said you were taking a break to arrange something about your private life. So, I didn't interrupt you.” He paused for a second and looked at you. Like he was eyeing you with those sharp eyes of his. You knew he totally understood. You felt a bit unsettled so you lowered your gaze to somewhere else as you waited for him to speak again.

 He saw it. He saw you, as you lowered your gaze. How could he ever be blind as you were in front of him? With all of your vulnerability, he knew you were so strong, yet so smart. He blamed himself for not coming after you as you tried to find him on that mission day and after that, he blamed himself for not making some things clear with you that day.

You are not hopeless

Though you have been broken

Your innocence stolen

“You know Y/N, crows care for their pack. If someone in the pack got hurt, or taken, crows will be there for them and never leave their side.” You got a bit confused at first, cause he made you feel a lot of things. “I know you got hurt by something and also Inej and Jesper know it too.” He paused. He was never this direct before. “I get this, you needed some privacy to get over it. But-“ You cut his word in half as an unsettled feeling crept upon you.

“Kaz, why are you saying this to me?” You got a bit frustrated about this whole speech. “I'm saying this, It's because the team needs you to come back.” The team, of course. You looked at him with nothing, as you felt nothing at that moment. You were kinda in a denial at first but now you were accepting the hard truth that he will never love you like that. 

 He can sense your frustration, and when he looked into your eyes, he saw the pain. He meant something more, but, at that moment he understood so deeply that you were in some denial. You were missing some part and he needed to figure out what happened there… About what really happened to you… “Yeah, I don't need any break anymore.”

—

 It was one of these days that Kaz gathered all of you in his office and explained something about the new mission. It is extremely dangerous work but he knew his crows can pull this out. So, he explained the plan and Jesper interrupted with a show-off. “You know, boss, this beauty,” He shoved his face, “can do anything perfectly.” You and Inej smiled at him as you guys shared a glance. You guys were on better terms. Inej was always good but you make it better with her. To ease the misunderstandings. “Whatever you say, Jesper!” Inej said while you gathered your things. 

 Night came and y’all had your positions. Inej was on the roofs to watch out for guards. As Jesper hid outside near the garden to check out for some clearance, You and Kaz were alone. Waiting for a signal to enter the luxury place. When you heard a tiny frequency from Inej it was the sign to enter the place. 

 You were behind the Kaz as both of you entered. You were cautious as something can happen in a minute so you controlled areas. “Check the first door, I will head south.” He gave you an order. When you went quietly and quickly to the first door; you saw that it was unbelievably silent. You looked at the tables, there were papers everywhere as you checked and read some of them. 

 While you were reading and Inej was on the roof, she heard a noise. As she looked behind her, she saw a figure searching for her. She quietly changed her place for a better view, she understood then… They were trapped. Someone baited them or heard. 

 Jesper cleared the area, it was easy for him. He even got bored waiting for them to finish. Honestly, he didn’t understand what was going on between Kaz and Y/N. He thought their love was requited as he and Inej bloody saw his gazes towards Y/N. He was too caught up thinking this however, he was careful in the mission. So, he heard some cracking. When he looked behind the building's garden, he saw some explosion articles. “Oh, Saints!” He sweated and as he turned to the side, Inej also heard an explosion in the garden. 

“Hello, Wraith.” Inej heard a man's voice. As she was hiding behind something as she wanted to assassinate that man. She got exposed when she left her hiding spot. “And who are you?” She asked as he could her firm voice. “Your killer.” As he said it, she smirked. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” She threw a knife at him but he was quick, he dodged it. 

“You and your bastard boss will never know what will happen to them!” He said with such rage. She didn’t answer. Whereas she dodged one of his counters. She was quicker than him, but his grip was powerful. He sure looked like a vulture mixed with something. He took one of Inej’s knives and pushed her to the ground. “Is that all you got, Wraith?” He smirked. That smirk disgusted Inej. 

  Jesper was laying on the ground, trying to pull himself together because of the explosion. Then he heard steps towards him. After he looked up and quickly rolled to the side, he saw a Grisha. What the hell is a Grisha doing in Ketterdam? He thought. When he seized the Grisha’s kefta he saw that it was a Durast, indeed. 

“Let's begin, shall we?” He quietly said so cautious not to be heard. He moved silently to the side and he shot fire at the Grisha. Unfortunately, Grisha was quicker too. So she bent over and smiled. “You think that would kill me?” She smirked. “Well, let’s see what will happen, don’t we?” He mocked her voice. That pissed her, so she ran to the side and she pulled some knives at him. Whilst she was throwing the knives, Jesper shot them all and they went directly to the wall. 

 She then pulled something inside her pocket and she threw it at him, it was intoxicating. “What the hell is that?” He coughed but he didn’t stop his movements as he ran to the side, she didn’t answer his question. 

 He had to kill the Grisha. So, he moved out from where he was and he shot three shots. Grisha laughed at that. “Is that all you got, you a dwarf?” Jesper’s bitterness could be read by his face as he heard the nickname that she gave. It was disrespectful. Other than trying to kill him, of course. 

 So he shot another shot at her Kefta and she suddenly felt weak. “How?” when she took the bullet and was about to hit him with that bullet, Jesper went out and shot her in the head. “You are not the only Durast.” He silently spoke as she fell to the ground. 

 While Inej was under his grip, she was looking at the sides of the roof, as she tried to find a way to loosen his grip so she could get away from him. She saw a ceiling fan with which she struggled under him. “Hush, love, I’m almost done.” He was squeezing hard on Inej’s neck. As she moved her leg to hit his foot, she took out a little knife. 

 While his grip on her loosened a bit, she stung her knife into his leg. He hissed and he moved a bit back so she got away from his grip and suddenly she felt the air in her lungs again. Of course, Inej felt dizzy because of the cut of air, and the air coming back was hurting her throat and by the dizziness, she needed her strength. 

 However, that vulture-looking man was about to run to her side. But Inej was always quicker. So she moved her body to the left and she threw a knife at his eye. He screamed with such pain when she ran to him to break his neck. 

 When she came to his side to break his neck, he held her body and cursed something at her. He took her leg and when he tried to attack her with her knife, she pulled the knife out of his eye. So, he backed out and fell to the ground. 

 Inej made the final move and she cut his throat. “May Saints, will be with you and try to help you on your sickening journey in another world.” Then, she leaned against the wall and rubbed her throat to ease the pain.  

 You heard some explosions on the garden side as you were close to the window, you looked down and saw some light. You got utterly worried about what was that explosion. 

I hear you whisper underneath your breath

I hear your SOS, your SOS

 You needed to find him. To find him and protect him from any harm that he could ever see right now. Of course, that dirtyhands could protect himself from any harm or even protect you from anything, however, you were so deeply in love with him so, that made you worry so much. 

 As you ran in the dark corridors of the big mansion, you felt panic rising in your throat, you licked your dry lips when you heard some muffling steps sounds from the south corridors. 

I will send out an army to find you

In the middle of the darkest night

It's true, I will rescue you

 When you rushed to the side of a colon, you lowered your body and try to fit in hiding at the spot. As you heard some hisses from guys, you took a knife from your pocket, whilst you quickened your pace to catch the guardians off guard, you saw Kaz being held by outnumbered men. You saw his worried glances towards you. 

There is no distance

That cannot be covered

Over and over

 You felt anger so deep at that moment. As you saw him being captive by guards, you threw your knife at the guard who held Kaz tightly. The knife hit his eye, and as his body fell, Kaz pulled away from him. He quickly found his cane when you took your gun from your holster to shoot that guy who ran towards you to beat you. 

 He got up after you killed the other guy, and when you saw the third guy that was about the attack you with his blade, Kaz hit him with his cane. The cane got bloody by second after he then pulled the cane and beat him with that cane all over. 

 You were afraid when you saw him like that. Blood splashed all over his face, as his features got sharpened and he was so focused to beat that man. You saw how messy his hair got after he was held captive by that man you killed, you were so afraid that you thought you lost him. 

"Kaz! It's enough!" You rushed to his side to stop him. When your slight brush to his arm, he startled. You immediately pulled yourself back. "It's enough." You repeated with a whisper. He looked at your face as to begin to say something, he quickly looked behind you as he saw footsteps coming towards both of you. "Come behind me!" He yelled at you. 

You're not defenseless

I'll be your shelter

I'll be your armor

 You went behind him as you gave him your gun. You quickly took two knives from your pockets that Inej gave you after your first mission with them. You held them tight, when more men entered the room you threw the knives at their heads as Kaz shot one of them after your attack. Three men fell on the ground when you rushed to exit the door, you were running in the corridors, trying to find a way to escape. You saw Kaz had stolen what he wanted at the beginning. 

I hear you whisper underneath your breath

I hear your SOS, your SOS

"There!" He leads the way for you. When you both come down the stairs, you saw two more men coming your way. "Go upstairs and jump from a window, I'll handle this." You looked at him in disbelief. "I won't leave you!" You yelled and you jumped at one of the armed men's faces as you cut his neck with your blade. You saw one of them coming at you but Kaz shot them in the head. 

 You two fight with more men, however, the injuries you got from fighting those men, one of them cut a big scar on your belly. You didn't mind it at first because of the adrenaline, you and Kaz cleared the area downstairs, and as you ran away to the exit you finally saw Jesper. "Jesper, quickly!" You yelled at him as you held your belly. 

"We got trapped, Kaz!" Jesper squirmed. Anxious glances towards him as you saw Inej is already coming your way. "We dealt with this later. Now we need to leave right now!" Kaz raised his voice as he looked at his sides to find their carriage. When he couldn't find it, he looked at all of you. "We'll split up. Inej, I want you to go on the roofs if we are being watched." He then turned his gaze to Jesper. "You will go with Y/N." Inej looked at him. "You will go alone?" She sounded unsure. "Yes." He replied with a simple word. 

 You couldn't intervene in his sentence as Jesper pulled your arm to push you aside with him. All of you were escaping from this broken mansion, you heard sirens. No one saw you on the outside as you and Jesper entered the Slat first with the help of the darkest alleys of the mighty Ketterdam. 

"Agh-" Your face got soured. No one saw the cut on your belly as y'all tried to escape from that bloody place, Jesper stopped his movements. "Seriously? You got injured!" He copied your gestures as he felt bad on the inside. "There were a lot of men in there, come on!" You hissed at the pain you felt. 

"Let me help you." A voice behind you gently said. As you turned your head to him, you felt a bit uneasy. "And how might you could help me?" You feared that he would be sickened about touching your body. But deep down you knew, he wanted to help you. But something was pulling him back. His greatest demons were pulling him back so tightly that he couldn't touch that person that he trust most. "Come with me." He leads you to his bathroom. It was a crooked place but it felt so safe for you. Him. 

You felt so safe with him. 

In the middle of the hardest fight

It's true, I will rescue you

 When he pulled a fresh bandage for your wounds, you watched him silently. You prayed the sky above so that you won't make something idiotic to ruin the moment. He hesitated at first. As to pick up your blouse to see a better view of the wound, you saw his sweaty forehead. "Kaz. I can do it by myself." You saw him struggling. He looked into your eyes. 

 He sighed and he backed away from you. It was enough for you. The thought of him being want to help you was enough for you. So you looked at the mirror and pulled up your shirt to take a better view, you silently hissed. When you looked at him through the mirror, you saw his bruised face. 

 You cleaned the area before you took the stitches to cover the open wound. You struggled a bit at first, but you were strong, you felt the adrenaline running through your veins. After you cleaned and stitched yourself, you held a wet, clean cloth and handed the cloth to him. "Here, for the dried blood."

 He accept it as he gently wiped his face with the wet cloth. "You saved my life." He didn't meet your gaze after the words fell on his lips. You watched him through the entire speech. "You saved my life so many times." You sweetly said. 

"It's even then." He spoke again only to meet with your gaze now. "Y/N... I want to be clear with you." He put the cloth away and came a bit closer to you. "What you heard, that day with Inej, you didn't hear the whole conversation." You felt a bit shame as you remembered eavesdropping on their conversations. When you tried to interrupt, he shushed you. "I am not going to deny that I gave Inej something from me, but the beginning of the conversation was to ask her about an opinion." You got confused at first. He went on with his explanation. 

"I was asking Inej... that...that- I wanted to give you," He paused. "I asked her about something. Something... for you." Your cheeks reddened as you heard his whisper. "Why?" You lowered your voice to meet his low voice. 

 He looked at you. You could see, he was very nervous. He was trying to find the right words to describe what he was about to say. You waited in silence. You were anxious too. So you waited for him, patiently because despite being anxious, you needed to hear him. 

 You were so lost in your own thoughts but then he spoke. "You are important, to me." He loosened his shoulders, it was tense. Due to the moment. You met his dark eyes as he spoke these five words. "I wanted to give you-" He paused then he pulled something from his pocket. You saw the packet, it was small and wrinkled. 

 He gave you the tiny packet as you looked at him, still confused but he could see the hope through your eyes. You were curious but the fear of rejection inside you was overwhelming. You took a deep breath as you opened the packet, it revealed a tiny necklace with a special silver crow head. You looked at him instantly as you saw the necklace. You hold the necklace up, how could you misunderstand everything? 

"Inej was helping me to find the right necklace." He didn't meet your eyes. Suddenly you felt guilt wash over you. "But- You were glancing at Inej." You hesitated, then your voice reached out as a whisper. "I saw it." He glanced at you softly. "I don't look at Inej, the way I look at you..."

 Your head was spinning so fast, you had to hold his table edge. When you looked at him again, you saw his worried glances at you. "Are you alright?" He asked you as you shook your head to say yes. "I was just confused. I thought you had feelings," You paused. "feelings for Inej." 

 "No, Y/N." He said calmly. "The thing about surviving in the Barrel is not to care or love anything." He sighed. "But I'm willing to take that risk If it's meaning that I could see your bright eyes every day." 

 You looked at him in pure shock. But you totally felt every word he meant. He truly meant it and you loved him so madly, so much. It felt a big relief to you, to feel your love is requited. You swore that day, that you will be there for him. 

 As for something you didn't know is that he swore this, was the day that he first helped you to get away from the Stadwatch.  

#kaz brekker #kazzle dazzle #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker angst #kaz brekker fluff #kaz rietveld #shadow and bone #reader insert #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x you #six of crows #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x y/n #crooked kingdom #jesper and inej #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #y/n

[notelcol]

Love.

Kaz Brekker x asexual reader.

Mildly edited, apologies for mistakes✨

——-

You had been a part of the crows for a while now. What surprised everyone the most about you was your relationship with Kaz. He would call you into his office and discuss future plans with you, plans that he normally kept to himself. You loved to hear the way his mind worked out those elaborate plans. The two of you constantly stole hidden glances and occasionally he would pass you tea, allowing his gloved fingers to linger against your bare ones. The first time it happened your heart nearly burst from your chest. You knew of his aversion to touch, yet this did not feel accidental. You looked at him to see if he was okay, only for him to remove his hand and walk away before you could see his face. Though you did manage to catch the red tint on the tips of his ears, matching your own cheeks.

Inej had seen your tea exchange one time and had teased you for weeks. She didn’t want to tease Kaz, for fear or scaring him away from you. He was a precarious personality, always one step away from doing something crazy. She did not realise how similar you were. Her teasing had made you realise your feelings. Love was something you had long told yourself you would never know. While Kaz had an aversion to touch, you had your own aversion. Over time you had come to learn that no man wants to stay with someone he could never lay with. So when you realised your feelings for Kaz, your survival instincts kicked in and you put up your walls. You made excuses not to go to his office and avoided the kitchen. You needed to purge these feelings, you believed it was for your own good.

Weeks passed and you had all just completed your latest heist. You were all dressed much too posh for the Slat, but it was just enough glitz to get the job done. While on the job, Inej had stopped you. She was tired of you being distracted during the fighting.

“You are being stupid.” She snapped. “You are running away from your feelings because you cannot give yourself fully to a man, when Kaz is a man who has no interest in such a gift.” She was absolutely right. You had been denying yourself the opportunity to love someone the one person who would not want you to change. You had to remind yourself of this conversation as you awaited the perfect moment to tell him. It came almost too quickly. As soon as you arrived home, Jesper left to parade his outfit around the Crow Club. Apparently it was a crime not to bless as many eyes as possible with his looks. Inej however, raced to her room. She wanted to get out of the fancy dress as soon as she physically possible. You watched Kaz go into the kitchen and decided it was time. You followed after him and started to make a tea. You put the water on to boil and turned around to grab your cup, only to find it being held out to you. You took the cup and instead of the usual gloved touch, you were met with the shaking bare hand of Kaz Brekker. It was a fleeting touch, he did not linger this time. But it drew you to his eyes all the same. For once he did not look away.

“You look beautiful tonight.” He stared into your eyes intensely. You could see the battle in his mind.

“Thank you.” You smiled. “You look rather dashing yourself.” This made him laugh.

“Dashing. Really?” He had never been described as such before. While some might find it funny to call Kaz Brekker a dashing man, you genuinely meant it. One moment with him undid all of your emotional repression. You were right back in it. You wanted to run away but the sound of the water boiling over brought you to reality.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” His words reminded you of his presence. You spun around and gave him an answer.

“Because I love you.” He took a step back at your confession. His eyes were full of love but his body looked ready to run. You knew how that felt.

“You shouldn’t love me.” He shook his head. “I can’t hold you close or kiss you goodnight. I could never….consummate. You deserve more than I could give.” Now it was your turn to shake your head.

“I do not want those things.” Gentleness graced your face as you took a step closer to him, tentatively filling the gap he made. “Love to me, is in the way you look at eachother, talk to each other and the experiences you share with each other.” You handed him his gloves from the table. “You don’t need to push yourself for me. Gloved touches are enough to last me a lifetime. Love is in the heart, not in the skin.” You hoped you had gotten through to him. His breath shook as he put his gloves back on. You did not know if he was ready to face this. You watched for an indication but he gave you none, then ran out of the room.

You were quite down about Kaz’ decision. But you tried to keep your head up, you knew it wasn’t for lack of feelings. You had been in his shoes countless times, terrified to give your whole self to someone and it not be enough. All you could do was hope he would see that you want him as he is. You stared out of the window at the street, watching the people go by as you tried to think of something else. It seemed the universe had other plans for you, as a throat cleared in the doorway. You turned to see Kaz, staring uncomfortably at you.

“Did you mean what you said?”

He asked. You nodded in earnest and gave him a smile, which to your surprise he returned. His was smaller and fell quickly, but it was there and it was for you. He slowly walked closer, cane clacking softly with each step, until he came to rest next to you on the windowsill. He let out a breath and visibly relaxed as you both watched the street together. You felt true peace as you sat side by side sharing gossip about each person that walked by for hours. The passer-by’s had become scarce as the night grew late and a quietness had befallen you. You lifted your head from the window frame when you heard Kaz moving. He was staring down at his gloved hand as it moved towards your own, as if he was willing it to move one millimetre at a time. When his pinky finger reached yours, he wrapped it around your own and chills filled your body. You both moved your eyes from your hands to each others faces. Neither of you could stop the contented smiles that showed prominently, and neither of your hearts had ever felt so full.

——-

This one’s for all my fellow aces who may be struggling. Remember, love is in the heart, not in the skin. 🫶

This work hit home for me. I didn’t realise how much repressed feelings I had about trying to find love as an asexual. I have never met another person like me, but I know they are out there. I hold out hope that all of us will one day find the person who will take us as we are.💓

Thank you for reading🌷

#kaz brekker #kaz x reader #kaz x you #kaz brekker fluff #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x fem!reader #shadow and bone #six of crows #writing #x reader #fluff #light angst #angst with a happy ending #kaz dirtyhands brekker #inej ghafa #inej gafha #soc inej #grishaverse #asexual #asexual reader #asexual relationship #asexual representation #kaz x asexual reader #Kaz Brekker x asexual reader

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Exactly as you are

Previous chapter / Next chapter

a/n well look at us meeting at part three already. Thank you so much for all of your love. And an extra thank you to @brekkershadowsinger for being my knight in shining armor and a beta reader! Love you so much!🤍

summary: when two broken souls meet something is bound to happen.

warning: mention of past trauma, anxiety, sexual assault, murder.

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The sun peaked through the open window. The sun - which was supposed to warm and bring hope did little for the coldness that lingered in the room. Kaz rubbed a hand over his tired eyes. Sleep just didn't find him tonight. And how could it be when all he heard were your cries? Screams and pleas that dragged way into the night. Kaz leaned back into the chair that he had pulled over hours ago. His gaze fell on your curled-up body, now fast asleep in his bed. His pillow beneath your head, his blanket warming up your body, his shirt clenched between your hands as you held it closer to your chest.

When Kaz had made his way back, the first person he was greeted with was Jesper. He could tell that the man was lingering. Purposely trying to wait out to catch Kaz there. Kaz thought about ignoring him, and he was going to until Jesper spoke up, "I'm sorry. You know that I am", dirtyhands spun around to face his crow. A cold, predatory gaze seeped through his eyes. Not family. Not friends. A boss and his investment, "Are you, though?" Now step away from one another, they were practically breathing at each other's throats. "Imagine that was Wylan? What would you do, Jesper? How far would you go?", Kaz barked out and turned away in an instant. Too much. Jesper had already seen too much. There had been too much. Too much was at stake. Too many people were involved.

"You love her", Jesper breathed out. "You…", but Kaz quickly turned back to him, the tip of his cane now pointed straight at Jasper's throat. "One more word, and I will rip your throat out". The warning was primal, raw, and something that deep down Jesper hoped Kaz would never actually do, but from the way, Kaz's eyes blazed and the way his hand shook ever so slightly, "Consider yourself lucky because Wylan was there if none of you would have been…", but his words died down. Choked out by that fear of losing once again. Kaz had already run through every possible scenario and every feasible way that those two could have hurt you. He needed names. Needed a reason. Now he wished he had left at least one of them alive. One of them to tell Kaz, who had been stupid enough to try to get to you when you were his. Because those faces were new to him tonight. Not prepared. He was as unprepared as the crows, and for that alone, Kaz couldn't find the strength to properly punish Jesper.

"Take Inej and sift through the docks. I need reports of all the newcomers, their names, who they work for, and why they came here. Find out who those two were", Kaz ordered, fingers running through his hair in frustration. He needed to calm down. To properly pull himself together. His emotions were too much of a giveaway that he cared. But shouldn't he? Shouldn't he care? His business might be in danger. There was a tassel in his club. His property was damaged. Who knew how much it would cost to get the blood off the floor? "Inej is upstairs with Nina looking after Y/N", Jesper muttered, and Kaz only nodded his head. "Good, go after it or go alone. I don't care".

"Kaz", you had muttered at least a thousand times since Jesper had walked in with you in his arms, shaking like a leaf. Nina dragged a wet cloth down your back, locking eyes with Inej, who was just as worried, before turning to you. "He will be here shortly, darling. Fix a couple of things, and I will be with you", she said as lightheartedly as she could, although Nina doubted if the state Kaz would come back in would help you in any way. The heartrender had suspicions. Most of the crows did. You two were almost glued to each other. And for goodness sake, who else besides you got to sit on Kaz's bed, let alone lay or sleep in it? No one. They couldn't even breathe the same air as him for longer than intended. But then there was you. And no matter when or for how long you stayed in Kaz's office, there wasn't a time when you were cursed out and pushed through the door. Together. Almost always together. Kaz's heartbeat changed first. At least that was what Nina caught onto. Maybe it wasn't affection at first, but still, you managed to alter Kaz's heart. Give strength to the beats, but lighten them at the same time.

"Kaz", you muttered your mantra, once again, big puffy eyes looking up at the two girls. Inej was a breath away from comforting you once more, but Nina cut in swiftly, changing the subject, "Let's get you out before you turn into a prune. Come, up you go", she pulls at your hands, making you stand, before wrapping a towel around your naked body. "Inej, why don't you fix a cup for all of us, huh?", but there was more behind this, and Inej could tell. Almost a silent plea to go look for Kaz. That whatever Nina was doing to keep you calm wasn't going to hold for much. She could feel it too. Slowly bubbling. Building up.

Kaz selfishly did not want to seek you out after all. Why would he? You had Nina and Inej. What would he do there? Stand and look? But then shouldn't he go up there and demand answers? Maybe the two had told you what they wanted. Because this seemed more than just a quick fuck that they were after. If that had been the case, Kaz would have been too late to stop it. Too late… Promised to protect. To keep safe. The image of you stripping in his office the first night flashed through his eyes. Kaz clenched his fist angrily. He had killed them all. Found a list of every man who had put in money to buy you off. They were begging for it to stop, but all Kaz did was repeat your name over and over to them. Dragging their deaths painfully slowly. No one knew about that. It wasn't something anyone else needed to be a part of. It was for Kaz. It was for all the rage that waked in him every time you flinched, every time his eyes caught a glimpse of your scars that painted your wrists and ankles, the torn skin on your back while you were changing, and the emptiness in your eyes.

Then Kaz heard it—the faint sound of your voice once again. His name slipped out of your lips in desperation. Calling for him. Searching for him. Kaz stood up, rushing towards the door, but then he halted. Still as a stone. He could not face you. He could not see you. Not now. Not like this. Not for everyone to see. Your voice grew louder. Kaz. Kaz. Kaz. Kaz. Kaz put his palms over his ears. Turning to walk to the furthest corner. Yet he still heard the way Nina was trying to soothe you. Kaz could almost see you trashing in her arms. The cries made him tightly close his eyes. He wanted to. There was nothing more that he wanted than to hold you now. To answer the call. To pull you out again, but he couldn't. There was no way.

Slow her heartbeat, make her pass out, Kaz thought to himself. Come on, Nina, be useful. And as if the heartrender had heard him, the cries died down softly. Followed by a little sob from Nina and a ray of apology slipping past her lips. The silence stood again. Kaz braced himself against the sink, catching a glimpse of his worn-out face in the mirror. Weak. Worthless. How can you protect her when you can't even go to her when she needs you the most? The anger rippled again, and without a second thought, Kaz's left fist slammed into the mirror.

The room was dim. The last remaining light source was the fire slowly dying down in the fireplace. Wylan was rubbing his hands over Jesper's shoulders. Nina was leaning onto Inej. The tea that sat in front of them had gone cold. Neither of them had touched their cups even once. It had been several hours since the last cry echoed through the house. Nina had stopped sniffling. She had never before used her ability in that way. It was one thing to make someone fall and cripple them in the middle of the job; it was a completely different story to choke the air out of the lungs of someone you cared for while watching their limp body in front of you.

Even at the thought of that, Nina's lips trembled once more. Jesper reached towards her, placing a supportive hand on her shoulder. Tonight had been a mess. Everyone's brains had been scattered with questions. All the ifs and whys, maybes, and whats. And with Kaz nowhere to be seen… He had made it clear to everyone that Y/N was someone that each of them had to look after. And tonight they all abandoned their posts. Sure, it was Jesper's night to keep an eye on you, but the blame couldn't be placed solely on his shoulders. They all let loose. Disappointed Kaz, but most importantly, hurt you in the process. They didn't talk about the other side of this. There was not even a thought about it that lingered. Jesper, while telling everyone about the conversation he had with Kaz, cut himself off right before the question of love was brought up. Not his to discuss. Not his to be brought to daylight.

"Why are all of you still here?", Jesper had stood up so quickly, nearly sending the little table flying, the tea cups rattling. All of them stiffened, like kids who had been caught misbehaving and now were awaiting the scolding of their parents. None dared to meet Kaz's eyes. It felt like he had brought coldness with him, as the room suddenly became almost freezing. If Kaz was being honest, he wasn't sure if he wanted them to fall over one another while they apologized or if he preferred silence. The silence that carried fear. The power he had over them.

"I gave orders to Jespere…", dirtyhands spoke once more, and Inej was quick to cut in, "He told us". Kaz nodded his head, and said, "Good. Then why are you here?" It seemed like such a simple question, but then again, what were they supposed to say? Because they wanted to see him? Because they tried to find strength in one another? Because being alone felt too vulnerable? Yet this set of silence was met with a growl from Kaz. "Go", he muttered angrily. Turning to the side so they could walk past him. "Kaz, she…", Nina started, being the first one to lift her eyes, and the coldness that pierced her made a shiver run deep within her body.

Kaz lifted his hand, silencing her. "I'll take it from here. I have unfinished business with her as it is", Nina shook her head. "Kaz", you were too weak. The demons within you had feasted on your strength. If he were to come at you Kaz-style, he would send you into yet another panic attack. But Kaz only let out a snarl, "Did I ask for your opinion?" They lowered their heads. Jesper wrapped one of his arms around Nina, bringing her closer to him, and clasped Wylan's hand in another. He glanced at Inej, who only nodded her way. Get the two settled, and then they would hit the town just like Kaz had ordered them to.

When Kaz finally made his way up to his office, he tried to pretend that you weren't lying in his bed. That he couldn't hear your breathing. When that got too hard, he tried to trick his mind into thinking that this was the usual night. Like always. He had chosen to work too late, and you had ended up falling asleep. The only difference was that on nights like that, Kaz found himself watching you. The way your face would relax. There was no sign of the slight frown that lingered then. Calm and relaxed. Comfortable enough to sleep in his presence. Now, however, Kaz tried to keep his eyes away from you. Too afraid that it would only break him more.

But the uneasy breathing was hard to miss. You let out a cry, and Kaz's eyes drifted to your frame. Only now did he notice the shimmering drops of sweat clinging to your forehead. Hands clenching the sheets. Kaz blinked again. There in your place now laid Jordie. Turning and tossing as the plague spread further and further. Kaz stood up, crossing the distance between him and the bed in a couple of steps. He ripped the gloves off his hands. The taste of bile in his mouth picked up again. What was this cruel joke? Sure, he was a bad person. Had done so much wrong, but why you? Why Jordie? What have you two done? Or was it a curse for just letting Kaz be a part of your life?

He kneeled once more. One deep breath in, and his hand came into contact with your warm forehead. Not burning up, but warm enough for a slight fever. A part of him was trying to stay rational. To get a fever after a night filled with such events was normal. It could happen, but what if this was something more? What if they had poisoned you? What if he had missed it? Kaz reached for a jug of cold water before dipping a piece of cloth in it. The moment the cold material came into contact with your skin, your eyes opened up slightly.

The fright in Kaz waked again. He wasn't ready. Wasn't prepared to see you conscious just yet. You glimpsed up at him tiredly. Body eased slightly at the sight of him. Kaz swallowed thickly. He didn't know what he wanted to say or what he should say. A part of him wanted to shout at you, but one look at your eyes, which had lit up ever so slightly at the sight of him, halted him once more.

"I'm sorry", you murmured, licking your dry lips as the uncomfortable tightness pulled at your skin. Kaz shook his head, reaching for a cup, "Nothing to be sorry about". The words had come out more sarcastic than he had wanted. As if he didn't genuinely mean it. You gave him a look. One that he had learned to identify. One that let him know that you were more than aware that he was lying. But he wasn't.

"I would do it again", he muttered, turning his gaze away from you. And he would have. As much as he tries to tell himself that he would never reach for you again, he knew deep down that it was a lie. Because he would. Because you were now a part of him. In ways that Kaz couldn't fully identify. Ways that were unfamiliar to him. He had only felt somewhat similar when it came to Jordie. Sure, Kaz cared for his crows, but that was different. You were different. Your eyes filled with tears as you watched him. You had been so desperate to apologize. Aware that you crossed the line by touching him tonight. For reaching out to him in a way that he didn't want to be reached. And here he was telling you that he would do it again. You shook your head, "No." Your voice died down. Cut off by the fear. By the lack of words spoken for a long time.

"Don't push yourself", Kaz ordered you firmly, but you jerked your head once more. He needed to know. You wanted him to know. Through your heavy, tired eyes, you looked at Kaz. You searched for him as you always did. "No one has ever touched me without bad intentions. You…", you stopped yourself as the tear ran down your cheek, stinging in your eyes getting unbearable. "You were the first who wanted to hold me without the intention to hurt me".

The sob finally slipped past your lips. You quickly moved your hand to cover your mouth. Trying to silence the cries, knowing how much Kaz hated emotions displayed like that. Kaz closed his eyes, lifting his head ever so slightly. If you hadn't crossed the line before, you sure have now. You reached for the sides of the sheets. Not waiting for him to scold you. Not ready to face him pushing you away. But Kaz was quick to snatch the side of the blanket out of your hands, pressing it down onto the bed and keeping you covered.

There was so much that Kaz wanted to say. So many words at the tip of his tongue. So many thoughts. And you knew it too. You could tell, so you settled back down. Both of you used up your emotional resources tonight. Drained yourselves dry. Yet Kaz looked at you once more. Reaching for the cloth to dip it into the cold water once more. Just this time, his palm lingered on your hair for a moment. A silent promise that he wanted to figure this out together. Step by step. No matter what was to come, you were going to do it together. Then he turned away from you once more. Pushing the rising water down. You watched him for some time until your eyes grew heavy, and the darkness pulled you under once more.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Kazzle Dazzle taglist: @igakc @anxiousbeech @vicky-09 @coldheartedmar

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker #the six of crows imagine #the six of crows x reader #the six of crows x you #shadow and bone x reader

[rubysunnday]

can we always be this close

requested by anon: Congrats for reaching 6k!! I feel like such a proud mom, i've been following you since you had around 2k and you deserve this so much!! Could i please request a jesper x reader fic with the fake dating trope?

summary: from strangers to friends, friends into fake lovers, fake lovers into lovers

Kaz held a piece of paper out to Jesper. "Here's your invite."

Jesper took it between two fingers and flipped it over, unfolding it to its full size. "Mr and Mrs Leonard," he read, his brow furrowing.

"Oh, why do we have to be married?" Y/N grumbled, snatching the paper from Jesper's hands.

Jesper tutted, trying to snatch it back. Y/N slapped his hand away and, reluctantly, Jesper backed down.

"Because I need both of you for this job and it was easier to have one invitation than two," Kaz replied. "Now, here's the plan."

"Jesper and Y/N, you two are going to pretend to be guests of Van Delnik. Once inside and the party has started, one of you will cause a commotion."

Surrounded by big skirted dresses and expensive champagne, Y/N had never felt so out of place. She gripped Jesper's arm tightly as they walked through the corridor to the giant spherical ballroom.

"Ready?" Jesper asked, lowering his voice enough so that only Y/N could hear.

She nodded. "Yep."

"Inej, you'll be disguised as one of the maids. Once you see the commotion, head to the roof. I'll meet you up there."

"What are we stealing, again?"

"We're not, Jesper. Inej and I are staking out the building - Van Delnik is hiding his treasures somewhere and I for one want my DeKappel back."

"It wasn't yours in the first place, Kaz."

"Semantics, dearest Inej."

Y/N took her arm from Jesper's and took a step to the side, bumping into one of the men nearby. When he grunted and turned to tell her off, Y/N pretended to stumble, knocking the man's champagne glass onto her, and fell into Jesper.

"Sir, watch where you are going!" Jesper exclaimed, standing Y/N up on her feet. He dramatically whipped out a handkerchief and started dabbing at Y/N's chest and the bodice of her dress.

"Your wife bumped into me!"

"Because he tripped me up!" Y/N replied, pointing at a random man nearby.

"Once Inej and I are on the roof, we'll go in through the side window into Van Delnik's office. Jesper and Y/N, you need to give us at least ten minutes."

"I think we can manage that, can't we wife?"

"Oh, I am going to regret being married to you."

Once the commotion of who had tripped and spilt champagne on Y/N had calmed down - she'd managed to convince the men it'd been their fault - Jesper had whisked her away over to the buffet tables, out the way of the crowds.

"Saints, this chicken is to die for," Y/N muttered. She licked her fingers, wiped them on her skirt and picked up another piece. "I need the recipe." Y/N wiped the corner of her mouth with a napkin. "Saints my face is a mess."

"I think it looks beautiful," Jesper replied, smiling at her.

Y/N returned his smile.

"How do we know you're done?"

"Trust me, Y/N, you'll know."

The entire ballroom shook as something exploded outside the doors. Glasses wobbled and smashed onto the floor. People screamed. Guards rushed forward from their hiding spots.

"I guess that's the signal," Jesper muttered. "Now to get out of here."

"Where do we meet you?"

"Out the front - you'll be one of the many screaming guests if all goes to plan."

Jesper grabbed Y/N's hand and she clutched on tightly as they joined the throng of people trying to get out through the double doors. They both held on to one another, determined to stay together and not be split up by the crowd.

Once they'd squeezed through the double doors, the crowd spilled out into the street. Some ran away, some stood their, overwhelmed and shocked. To the right, a fire burnt away inside s store room, flames licking the glass of the windows within.

"Found them," Jesper muttered.

He pulled Y/N to him and they moved through the crowds, weaving over to the left and away from the fire. Kaz and Inej had both changed into servant uniforms and were blending in with the shrubbery and shadows.

"We were spotted," Kaz said as they walked up to them. "The bomb wasn't the plan."

"Oh, we thought it was," Y/N said. She absent-mindedly ran her thumb along the back of Jesper's hand. "Do we need to go?"

Kaz shook his head. "No, we'll wait -"

"There they are!"

Four heads shot up and turned sharply to the right. A disheveled looking guard was stood on the steps, pointing directly at them.

"Yes, we need to go," Kaz amended. "Meet at Black Veil."

As the Stadwatch and Van Delnik's personal security began to come at them, the four of them split up. Kaz and Inej going one way, Jesper and Y/N going the other.

Y/N gathered the numerous layers of her dress skirt and ran down the cobbled streets, wind blowing through her hair, tearing it out of its intricate up do.

"Split up," Jesper said, letting go of her hand.

Y/N darted right as Jesper went left. The pursuing guards stumbled to a halt and then quickly spotted them and their plan, splitting up themselves and chasing after them.

The street lamps had been left on in this bit of town - a sign of the rich who lived there. They could afford to burn the oil. Y/N saw an open public garden to her left and quickly pushed open the small iron gate and ran inside, the trees obscuring almost all of the street light. She ran through the bushes and the trees, the heels of her shoes sinking into the damp ground.

Eventually, she emerged out the other side. Y/N glanced behind her as she came out onto the street and ran into someone.

"Oh, saints!" Jesper exclaimed, his hands catching Y/N's waist and pulling her forward and into him.

Y/N put her hands on his chest, stopping her face from smacking into it. "I thought you'd gone the other way!"

"I did, it looped to here!"

"Oh my -"

"There they are, shoot them!"

Jesper grinned at her, taking her hand in his. "And off we go again."

They broke out into a sprint, running down the street once again. Bullets began to ricochet off the floor and the walls around them as the private guard began shooting at them.

Y/N giggled, the adrenaline running through her. Her laughter cut off abruptly as something hit her back and side, a searing pain shooting through her entire being, She stumbled forward, Jesper's going around her waist and holding her up.

"Ok, ok, come on," Jesper said, looping his arm through Y/N. "We need to keep going, Y/N, I'm sorry."

Y/N groaned in pain, pressing the palm of her hand against her side. She focused on putting one foot in front of the other and trying to breathe through the pain.

At some point, they lost the private guard - Y/N wasn't sure when - and entered Black Veil Cemetery. Jesper was on auto-pilot, walking down the headstones until they reached the mausoleum.

Jesper and Y/N all but fell through the doors and down the stairs, startling person who was already inside.

"Saints," Nina swore, her arms reaching forward and catching Y/N as she fell forward, her legs folding beneath her. "What happened?"

"What do you think happened?" Jesper muttered, all but ripping the buttons off his jacket in an attempt to get it off. "Kaz and his ridiculous plans."

"I'm fine -" Y/N cut herself off with a yell of pain as Jesper pressed his jacket against her side.

Nina sighed, tutting to herself. "I'm -"

"Not a healer, we know, Nina," Jesper and Y/N said together.

"Alright, saints," Nina muttered. "Come on, down the stairs."

Somehow, Jesper and Nina managed to get Y/N to her feet and down the stairs. Together they lifted her up and onto the empty tomb that often became a table.

"I'll be back," Nina muttered, guiding Jesper's hands further over Y/N's side. "Try not to die."

With a bustle of skirts, Nina disappeared back up the stairs, leaving Jesper and Y/N alone, in almost complete silence.

"I'm sorry," Jesper whispered.

Y/N looked up at him. "What for?"

"I... I don't know, it just feels like my fault because I came back to you and they followed me and -"

"Jes, breathe," Y/N said softly, placing her left hand on his cheek. Her thumb trailed over his skin gently, catching the few tears that managed to escape his eyes.

"I'm sorry." He dropped his head, breathing in deeply.

"Talk to me, Fahey," Y/N said, putting her hand under his chin and gently lifting it up until he was looking at her. "I'm listening."

It took him a moment to gather himself enough to speak. "When I was young, my mother tried to help this little girl. The girl had been poisoned and my mother, being grisha, went to help. She drew out the poison from this girls body into her own - saving the girl's life but ultimately killing her.

"This... you bleeding out on my, frankly, rather lovely jacket and coming close to dying it's just..." He sighed, shaking his head. "It just brought back those memories."

Y/N nodded. "I get it." She paused. "I'd miss me too."

Jesper laughed. "Nicely done."

The sound of Nina returning gave them both precious seconds to compose themselves - even though the heartrender had probably sensed something was going on.

But Nina didn't say a word. She walked in, moaning about Kaz, and shooed Jesper away, demanding space to work.

Jesper didn't leave. He helped Nina get Y/N out of her corset and held the hem of Y/N 's shirt up. He held her hand as Nina began to heal the wound. It didn't hurt as much as a needle would have done, but it still felt uncomfortable and weird. As soon as Nina was satisfied, she patted Y/N on the shoulder and disappeared back up the stairs, muttering something about Kaz and a knife.

"Do you think -"

"No," Jesper said, "no I don't think she did."

Y/N looked up at him, smiling. "Would you -"

"Of course."

Jesper picked up a roll of bandage. He moved closer to Y/N and she shifted, letting him standing in between her legs. They'd been in this position numerous times before - but it was only ever flirting and only ever for a job.

But now, something had shifted between them. A new understanding had emerged - one that could only have happened when someone came close to losing the other.

"My hands are cold," Jesper warned.

Y/N nodded, smiling. "It's fine."

Jesper's fingers brushed against her side and he held the bandage firmly against the wound. He then unrolled the bandage and wrapped it around Y/N's middle, keeping it tight. Y/N leant against Jesper's shoulder as he fiddled with the bandage behind her back, resting her head against his.

"You know," Y/N began, her voice soft, "I really enjoyed pretending to be your wife tonight. Even if it was just pretend."

Jesper stood up, having finished tying the bandage. He looked down at her, his legs brushing against hers. "It doesn't have to be pretend."

Y/N felt her heart skip and her breath got caught in her chest. "No," she said, reaching a hand up and combing her fingers through the hair on the nape of his neck. "It doesn't."

Jesper lurched forward and pressed his lips against Y/N's. The force of Jesper's kiss meant that she had to brace herself against the tomb with her hands, barely catching herself before she fell backward completely.

"Is this ok?" Jesper asked, resting his forehead against hers.

Y/N could feel his breath against her skin. She opened her eyes, immediately getting lost in Jesper's gaze. "It's perfect."

She leant forward and pressed her lips against is neck, trailing down to his shoulder. Jesper pushed her back and Y/N let her arms fold down until she was lying on the tomb, Jesper on top of her.

"I really hope Nina has had the common sense to go outside," Jesper muttered, resting his head against Y/N's chest.

"Either way," Y/N arched her back as Jesper pressed a kiss against the side of her neck, "she will do soon."

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone x reader #six of crows #six of crows imagine #six of crows x reader #fic #fanfic #six of crows fic #shadow and bone fic #jesper fahey #jesper fahey imagine #jesper fahey x reader

[restinslices]

Mortality

Jesper Fahey x Spouse (no gender specified) Word count: 2150 Summary: You and Jesper aged differently. You aged as any Otkazat’sya did. Jesper on the other hand is Grisha and ages much slower. As your mortality gets closer and closer, you and Jesper have a much needed talk. Wrote this on my phone at midnight😀

People could say a lot of negative things about Jesper Fahey. 

He was a shit gambler, a flirt, a drunk, he didn't think, he could be selfish at times, he could give you a headache with one sentence, among other things that could make anyone go in the opposite direction. 

But it was impossible to say he wasn't loving. Jesper held onto people and treated everyone like family, even when there were conflicts. There were plenty of times when you and Jesper would have a disagreement, yet he still looked at you like he'd both die and kill for you. Jesper could sometimes make promises he'd easily break for the right price. The promises he made to you though? There was no card game, no shiny gun, no heist, no amount of cash that could make him turn on you. 

Jesper supposed that's how he got himself to where he was now and honestly? He wasn't sure he liked it. 

Was it selfish to say apart of him wished you two never became something more or maybe that he never met you? Was it selfish to look at your aging body and wish he walked away and stayed away after The Ice Court heist? Maybe. He wasn't sure he cared though. 

Aging gave him a tap on the shoulder, but aging slammed into you. That didn't mean you were unattractive in his eyes, it just meant your body felt the stings of aging. Bad knees, hips, shoulder pains, wrinkles, all that was normal and expected. Jesper practically looked the same as he did when you two met. You were closer to death but he felt like the true ghost; forever stuck in a single moment. No changes to himself, only to his environment and the people around him. 

Or maybe even a time loop, but only for himself. Everyone else was free and moved on. Not him though. 

Jesper didn't realize he was staring until you said something, 

“A penny for your thoughts?”. 

“What?”

“You're staring”

“Oh” Jesper said with realization, “an accident”. Partially true. 

He smoothed out the blankets in front of him to distract himself but that worked as well as anyone would imagine. Your face was imprinted on his mind, and although Jesper could've just laid down and went straight to sleep, he knew it'd be all he'd see when he closed his eyes. 

Jesper heard you close and set your book down, then felt your eyes on him. 

“What're you doing?”

“Smoothing these blankets. They're quite wrinkly”

“Why?”

“Why? Why does anyone do anything?”

You sighed, “why won't you look at me?”

“I'm getting rid of the wrinkles on this blanket like I said”

“Because you can't get rid of mine?”. Jesper's hands stopped moving and he finally looked at you and another wave of sorrow hit him. Why did your inevitable death hit him so hard? 

Maybe it was because you were the last one left. 

Kaz, Inej, Wylan, Matthias, they were all gone by now. Matthias’ death was the first hit he received since his mom passed and as time went on the rest of his family, even if not by blood, passed on. Sure, he had Nina but Nina’s home was Ravka. Nina was more often busy than not and she was not the fondest of Kerch. Many times you suggested moving to Ravka for a “change of scenery”. He knew the truth though. You wanted him to get used to living somewhere else so he could be closer to Nina and not alone. You were the last consistent thing attached to his younger life and by some twist of fate, he'd be doomed to outlive majority of the people he met. He wondered if he did something awful in a past life to deserve this. 

“You've gone quiet again Jes”

He shook his head. “I don't know what to say”

“Too much on your brain? Don't know how to get it out?”. He assumed you took his silence as an answer because next you said “just say whatever, even if it doesn't make sense”. 

He took a deep breath then. It's not like you two hasn't talked about this before, but it was usually a small conversation that he'd slip his way out of with some dumb excuse. 

“I have something to do”. “I'm tired”. “Let's go eat”. “I have to go write a letter”. The list went on and on. This time though he couldn't think of an excuse and with limited time, he knew he had to speak to your living body now instead of a tombstone. 

“I don't think I'm ready to do this without you”

“Do what?”

“Live”. It came out breathy and quiet. He could tell he had upset you by how deep your frown was. Or maybe that was another sign of aging. He couldn't tell. 

“I can't do it”. 

“Yes you can”

“I can't”

“Jesper Fahey you can break into a Fjerdan Ice Court, escape, survive months at sea with Kaz Brekker, go toe to toe with every gang in Ketterdam and you still use the words 'I can't’?”. In any other circumstance he would've laughed and made some comment about how amazing he is. He didn't this time though. Nothing really felt enjoyable or funny anymore. Not when you could have some attack at any moment and be gone. 

“You're beautiful,” he said. “Absolutely stunning. I don't think I've ever seen anything as beautiful as you”

“There's the stars and sea yet I’m the most beautiful thing you've seen?”. 

He nodded. “Absolutely”. 

“Is that why you're with me then? My charming looks?”

“You could look like all things wrong with the world and I'd still want you”

“Jesper the poet? I think I like it”. Your fragile hand held his and your eyes locked onto his. “You can live without me-”

“I can't”. The tears he had been fighting so hard to keep away finally slipped. He didn't bother wiping them away, too scared to let go of your hand. “I wanna be able to but I can't”

“Why?”. 

“Why?”, he  repeated. “I just can't”. 

Your thumb rubbing over his hand soothed him for a moment, but only a moment. That calmness died when you spoke again. 

“If this is hard for you, you can go. You don't have to see me like this”

“Where would I go?”, he asked with furrowed brows and a mix of hurt and confusion etched on his face. 

You shrugged. “Ravka maybe? Make it your new home-”

“My home is here. With you”

“You'll have to find a new one when I go”. 

His hand slipped from yours, frustration building in his chest. It all sounded so easy but it was only easy because you were the one dying. You wouldn't have to feel another part of you ripped away. You wouldn't feel anything anymore. He would. 

He'd think about it almost everyday and a hole would form in his chest and pull him into this thick fog and within this fog he'd hear the future. He'd hear a heart monitor go flat. He'd hear your breathing become shallow before it eventually stopped. He'd hear his own crying. Yet you would come along and act as if everything was alright. You'd be calm and fine while he was breaking on the inside. 

“Jesper Fahey, I am going to die and there's nothing you can do about it”. 

“What?”

“Jesper Fahey, I am going to die and there's nothing you can do about it”. 

“Stop”. 

But you didn't stop. You repeated it again and again and he thought he must've been hallucinating and finally reached his breaking point. He covered his ears but you grabbed his hands and intertwined your fingers with his. You opened your mouth but he cut you off with a broken voice. 

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you don't understand you can't control this”

“I understand fully” he said quickly. “That's the whole problem. Can you stop being calm and show some sort of emotion for once?”

“What do you want me to do? To cry? To think about it and stress myself to a migraine like you do everyday?”. He hated how you looked at him then; with pity. It felt like with one foot in the grave, you'd always use the other to stay near him and soothe him and it made him feel selfish. “You wanna know how I feel?”. He didn't answer but you continued anyway. “I am terrified of death. Faith exists to calm us of this fear but honestly, I'm still scared. I don't know what's next. I don't know how it'll feel. I don't know if I'll see a light or if I'll be in darkness. I don't know how I'll go out and I don't know how it'll feel to take my last breath. I'm terrified but worrying about it everyday? That's not living. I'll be on my deathbed slipping away and all I'll think about is how I should've lived more”

“You are so stressed about me dying but honestly Jes? You're just making yourself live through the inevitable every single day. We should be loving each other now more than ever when we have the time. We're gonna get to my final moments and we'll both have regrets, the only difference is you'll have to live with yours”. 

Jesper couldn't help but let tears fall from his eyes. He knew you were right and that he should be holding you close during this time, but he couldn't help but listen to the tiny voice in his head that drove him insane everyday. Everyday was a reminder that for some unknown reason, he'd live much longer. Years would pass and he'd forget your face and always have to look at pictures or letters to remember you. One day he'd even forget your voice. How long would that take? 10 years? 20? 30? 

The more he thought, the more his breathing became erratic and his vision blurred. Blinking away tears didn't work. They'd just come back. You guided his head to your shoulder before your hand found its way to his back to rub circles on it. Jesper wasn't known to cry, but he cried. Hard. And you let him. When his breathing returned to normal, it wasn't because he was no longer sad. It was because he was exhausted. His eyes and nose had gone red by now and his face felt incredibly sore. 

When he quieted down, you spoke again. “I want to love you while I still can but if you don't want to see what'll eventually happen… I’m… I'm willing to let you go”. It was hard for you to say. He could tell because of how quiet it came out. Were you willing to? Probably. Did you want to? Absolutely not. He didn't need to ask or look at you to know. 

Jesper had a big choice to make. He stayed, spent the rest of your life with you and eventually buried you or he could leave and try to get a jumpstart at a new life. He wouldn't see age continue to eat at you and when your time came, he wouldn't be there. He'd be leaving you alone. He probably wouldn't know exactly when you died. Years would pass and he'd just guess that you were gone. 

Jesper was ashamed of how long it took him to make a decision. Leaving seemed so good. The pain of watching you continue to grow old would be no more, but then he'd be left with another pain; the pain of never seeing you again. Of knowing he abandoned you when all you wanted was to hold him close. You had no family and no notable friends besides him and Nina now. You'd probably be found and with no one to identify you, who knew what would become of your body in Kerch. A body with no name. And he'd become a body with no home. 

“I'm not going anywhere”. He finally lifted his head up to look at you and although he still felt that pang in his heart, he didn't look away and try to avoid your gaze. He just looked at you, mapping every detail of your face so he could look back and remember just how beautiful you were when you're gone. 

“I am so going to miss you”

“Of course you will” you said with a small smile and you finally got a chuckle out of him, even if it was small. 

You didn't have forever. You both knew you were on limited time and one day you'd be apart, but you both promised to love and cherish the time you still had together and maybe, just maybe, you'd see each other in the next life when the sun finally set on the both of you. 

I am feral for this man in the most wholesome way possible. Legit just wanna hold his hand and hear him talk about dumb shit.

#shadow and bone #six of crows #crooked kingdom #six of crows imagine #six of crows jesper #six of crows x reader #six of crows x you #six of crows x y/n #jesper fahey #jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey x you #Jesper fahey one shot #Jesper fahey x y/n #Do not let this flop or istg- #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone oneshot #shadow and bone imagine #grishaverse

[lady-ashfade]

Red ribbon

Kaz brekker x Child!Reader. (Platonic!) 

I wanted more sibling like pairings, my inner child needs this. (Made me really happy to make this.)

This is like a blurb/Drabble because idk the difference.

Readers appearance: Looking like Jordie, so looking like kazs sister if he had one. Skin tone, hair and skin but it’s never mentioned really . Just the hair type being used and mentioned of looking like Jordie.

Warnings: Fluffy, undertone of a little angst, this is really short, but this is just a cute little thing I want to do.

He had no idea what he was doing. This was never a problem, and never should have been a problem. But you were so happy when you saw the red ribbon and begged him to put it in your hair. He had offered for Jesper and Inej to do it, Inej knew girl hair and Jesper has his wits..But kaz brekker knew nothing about this.

“Come on, you’re so slow.” You wiggled and whined in the chair. Kaz sighed and held the ribbon in his hand and looked at you through the mirror with a glare, “I can still walk away.” He stated. And it was true, if you were going to be annoying he wouldn’t continue. Huffing you stood up straight and waited for him to get to it.

He remembers what Inej taught him to do, taking two strands of hair by your ear and clipping them together. So he started to find the hair and pulled them back and did the same to the other side, this wasn’t hard but he was still worried about doing it wrong.

This was a small thing to worry over and dirtyhands shouldn’t stress over it but here he was, stressing. Kaz wanted nothing more then to see you smile and happy, after taking you under his wing you grew close too him. You looked so much like him…It was sometimes hard to even look at you. But you were a hope of light that was sent into his life and he was going to do everything to keep you safe.

Smiling in your seat as you see him finally getting to the ridden, you almost couldn’t keep still. Watching him tie it and make a bow you giggled and waited for him to be done. He rolled his eyes and pulled his hands away from your head and looked up at you with a annoyed look. “Happy?” He asked.

Jumping up and put your face against the mirror to look at yourself, “Very!” Shouting as you swing your head from side to side. His stomach filled with warmth at the sight of you…The joy of a child was healing some part of him inside. “I need to show the others.” You shoot up and ran passed him and to the door, “Thank you!” He watches you slide to the left and run down the hallway.

He groaned and took a big breath. “That kid.” He shook his head as he remembered telling you never to run down the stairs and you always ignored his commands. His lips curled up and he smiled lightly at the thought of your smile, how you made him feel. You were his family, you were the crow’s family.

Jordie would have loved you…

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #Platonic kaz brekker x reader #Platonic kaz brekker #six of crows #six of crows x reader #fluff #inner child healing

[rkiveinmarvel]

kies jou. - kaz brekker. des. shadow and bones (tv) s2 spoilers!. kaz brekker didn't let hope cloud his judgment, however just this once, he lets it because it's you. notes. angst. ooc(?) kaz brekker. brief mentions of Kaz's trauma. kaz and Inej do not have a romantic link. to establish a relationship. mentions six of crow's shenanigans.

hello there! i suck at summary but here you go an angsty yet fluffy kaz brekker this is my first time writing for the fellow, so he might be ooc. enjoy!

wanorde - chaos kies jou - choose you wc: 956

Kaz Brekker wanted something, something more than the kruge he could bury with his dead body, more than the gold he could hang on his walls, more than the paintings he could hide in his room, Kaz Brekker wanted something more. He wanted you.

He watched everyone look at you whenever you entered the slat, how their eyes would linger on your face and hands. Some say you’re a dream built to see paradise but to Kaz, you were a fucking chaos. The chaos that might drown him someday and maybe save him one day. He saw you as a weakness, not for the crew, but a weakness kept within himself. 

But saints, if you were the chaos then why do you keep caring, why do you keep looking at him with eyes that calm him down, why do you always there in plain sight, and why do you always pull him up whenever the water in his lungs looks for ways for him to drown. He never saw it coming, he just realized that one day, he didn’t want to lose you. 

Maybe it was the night when you let him see a little bit of you in your safe place or maybe the night where he let you break a little part of his walls or maybe the time you looked at him with care even if he is in his armor. Or maybe the time when you bled to protect him. It made Kaz numb, he loathed this emotion, this feeling, this chaos brooding inside him. To some, it’s hope, a hope to make things better, to make things okay but Kaz learned to hope the hard way, when he was a kid, Hope drowns you and clouds your judgment. 

But hope is a word of luck dipped in the honey of chaos, that was hope for Kaz when you express it. It feels so foreign yet so raw, it scared him yet it also became his salvation and perhaps, a secret language that only he can decipher. All the heist, all the thrill, lead to this, lead you to him, always to him. 

—

The fold was now only a myth, the weight of the gold filled Kaz’s pockets, Inej has gotten her freedom, Jesper and Wylan were okay, Nina and her slab of fur will unite once again, and then you. 

As you tell your prayers to the saints of Ravka, a man with a cane watched you in the corner of the room.

“Did you get the payment, Brekker?”

Kaz looked at you and the wound on your forehead, then he recalled the moment earlier when you protected him from a volcra. He looked away and in the back of his mind, Jordie’s voice resurfaced.

You will always cause harm, Kaz. You are the chaos, you are!

He clenched his jaw and weave a deep sigh. “Everyone will get their cut once we're back in Ketterdamn.”

He looked at you once again, and to his surprise, you were staring at him, your caring stare for him. The voice of Jordie and the waves of the sea were cleared again, and the only thing he heard was your voice. 

“What now, Brekker?”

With that question, he held his cane a little tighter, and his breathing become rigged.

“Settle. Inej isn’t the only one who got their freedom.” 

You nodded your head as you stood up and walked up to him.

“Tell me something…Kaz.” His name fell out of your lips like a hymn he wishes to bottle as if whenever he hears your voice, all he wanted is to let hope to cloud his judgment. “I know you saw something, you…you’ve never been the same since that time, Brekker.”

Of course, you noticed. How the number amount of times he called your name, he stood a little closer to you, he looked over to you, protect you, something happened in Shu Han, you knew it. Kaz knew it.

“Please…Kaz.” 

He looked at you and he knew your voice was much scarier than the poison he inhaled in Shu Han, he never knew that chaos would be so beautiful and so…hopeful. Hope clouds judgment, Kaz knew it.

But this time, he lets it.

“Jordie was there…” He watched your expression be different when you looked at his eyes and they looked bitter as he spoke his brother’s name. Perhaps a misunderstanding or fear but his words suck the air in your lungs. 

“And you, my wanorde.”

Chaos. 

You stared at each other for a moment. As he breaks the silence, with his walls and armor again.

“Why…why didn’t you run away when the volcra was in front of me?”

You sighed and gave him a knowing look.

“Because I promised. I promised myself to take care of you. May I?”

You gestured your hand over his hand and at this exact moment, his walls and armor betrayed him as hope pushed him through his loudest thoughts: to have you.

He grabbed your hand as you softly examine and traced the markings of his gloves, and his whispers slipped from his mouth. “It’s rotten work..” He was mad and disappointed.

But his tone was also sad, relieved, and somehow, it was like a plea. You inhaled deeply, as you held his hands, now with both of your hands. You smiled at him.

“Not to me, Kaz.”

His hand in yours was something that scared him, he fears that it would drown him but just this once, he let it be, for your hands never drowned him, somehow it saved him. Upon touching your hands…

“Not if it’s you.”

…he felt alive.

a/n: i actually based this story off : “Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.” ― Anne Carson, Euripides

⚘ masterlist 1 | 2 | 3

#kaz brekker #kaz reitveld #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you #kaz x reader #kaz x you #kazzle dazzle #six of crows x reader #shadow and bones #shadow and bones s2 #shadow and bone netflix #shadow and bone x reader #trinity_archives #six of crows

[writing-havoc]

Hi I just read enough and I was wondering if you would make another part. It doesn't have to be yn and Kaz getting another kid it could just be them in the future. Thanks

Enough, Pt.2

♡ Summary: Nina and Matthias have finally taken it upon themselves to search for a place to settle down. The downside is, it's outside the country. And saying goodbye is a bit more difficult that it usually is.

♡ Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Reader, The Crows x Reader (platonic!)

♡ Fandom: Six of Crows, Grishaverse

♡ Warning(s): None

♡ WC: 4.4k

Been a while, but here's part two!! I loved the direction this took when I was writing it and I hope you and everyone else who wanted a part two feel the same <3

Side note, thanks for 500 follows. Was not expecting that when I took a break but it was nice to come back to!

Please excuse any grammar and spelling mistakes

∘₊✧──────────────────✧₊∘

"Something's wrong."

Kaz turns to look at you, several pieces of paper shuffled around in his hand and slotted between the spaces of his fingers. It momentarily distracts you, seeing how ridiculous he looks.

"Yeah. You're not helping."

"No, that's not it."

You ignore the scathing glare he sends you in turn for biting your nails, eyebrows twitching from where they're pulled together.

It feels distinctly like you're missing something. Or maybe like something is supposed to be happening but it's not.

You've already been around Jesper and Wylans to drop off the pie you promised them in exchange for them coming along on a job. Nina already talked to you about her trip back to Ravka to discuss some stuff with the King. Inej wasn't due back until tomorrow, already having everything prepared for her return. Matthias was relatively self sufficient so he didn't need anything from you today. Kaz is burning holes into your skull as a way of forcing you to continue to help him.

Logically, there's nothing left to worry about. You just went through your entire list of people who you wouldn't mind helping.

Maybe Rotty needed something? But you haven't talked with him in a while. Which, really, you need to do that because now you feel bad. Pim and Anika are out of town.

So what-

Panic bubbles in your chest and spurts out your throat. "Leo!"

Kaz jumps a bit, papers making a noise as they're jostled. He stares for a moment, then tenses. "Where is he?"

You rub at your face, the question already plaguing your mind.

"He's at fifth harbor, I think."

The fact that you're not certain kills you.

"You /think?/"

"Okay listen here, Mr. 5 Star Parent." You glare at him. "I told him there was something I needed at the harbor and that it was coming..."

You pat your body, looking for a pocketwatch. Usually it's around your neck or hanging in your pant leg but it's not here.

Kaz walks up to you, jutting his torso out a bit and paper filled hands held off to the side. You grab the pocketwatch from his vest, popping it open to look at the time.

A bit of relief nulls the panic. "It came about half an hour ago, which means he should be-" you turn towards the window, slotting the little clock back into his pocket "-on his way back right now."

The curtains are already open, letting in a deep, warm orange glow into his newly refurbished office. He still intends to move to the ground floor, but for now he remains up here, with the creaky stairs and wide angled window.

You walk over, looking outside. The sun blazes into your eyes for a moment before you block it out, the cobblestones glistening up at you.

There aren't any people around, which is a little weird considering this is the time when people would be making their way back home. But, there is a dog barking up the side of a building, the sound carrying to your ears.

"I doubt you'd see him walking back home."

"He couldn't carry a stack of notebooks with him over the rooftops."

"He would try."

That he would. And he proves Kaz right by hopping down from above.

"I got your note- Woah!"

His sudden appearance is enough to make you scream, hard earned fighting instincts kicking in. Your knife in your side pouch is suddenly no longer in your side pouch, instead flying at record breaking speeds across the Barrel.

The only reason it's not in your son is because you managed to divert it before it left your hand, instead making it create a wind that rustles his longer hair.

"Shit!"

Leo loses his balance, tumbling into the office in a very ungraceful front flip, landing on his back.

"Leo! What did we say about this!?"

He doesn't answer right away, and you don't really expect him to. He groans on the floor as you go to help him up, books scattered on the floor from where they ripped against the thick paper they were stored in.

Kaz is right behind you, papers forgotten as he grips Leo beneath the arms and hoists him up to his feet. You grab a chair, heart still racing yet relieved to see him here and, for the most part, safe.

You plop him down, wooden chair adorned with a cushion.

"I thought you'd have heard me!"

You scoff. "You know I often don't, you sneaky fucking minx." He learned from the best, unfortunately, so he had nothing to say in his defense. "I really could have killed you just now."

"Yeah, you could have." Kaz decides to chime in, going back to sorting through his papers, but paying you extra attention. "That knife is now floating in East Stave, judging by the sheer power and murderous intent you just threw it with."

"Which is why we talked about this!" You examine Leo, turning his face with your fingers near where you seen the knife fly by.

Kaz sighs, putting papers back between his fingers.

"I'm sorry." Leo whispers.

You take a minute to look at him, /really/ look at him instead of searching for what you know isn't there, and see the shaken up and guilt ridden look on his face. His freckled cheeks are drained of color, but slowly coming back. His eyes are wet, and his hair is ruffled beyond repair with just your fingers to card through the progressively curling strands. His eyebrows are pulled together, and there's a noticeable downturn to his lips.

He's really scared.

You sigh. "I'm sorry, too." There's no hesitation in the way you place a kiss to his forehead, letting your lips linger for a moment as you feel the tension leave the space between his brows. "I was literally in the window looking for you, I shouldn't have been so startled."

"I wasnt gone for that long."

You huff. "It's half eight. You left at two."

His eyebrows raise. "Wow."

Kaz actually laughs, a short, sharp exhale through his nose with a curve in the corner of his mouth. "I don't think 'wow' is the word you should be using."

"It's the only word I've got."

You scoff. "Well now you're just a liar, little book worm."

Speaking of books, you turn to the space in front of the window, finding it void of your stack of notebooks that nearly cost Leo his life.

You don't even get the chance to look around for them before Kaz is picking them up from his chair, and then handing them off to you.

There's four of them, each looking the exact same as the others, much to your delight. You take them in earnest. "Thanks, love."

It's wonderful to see the shade of pink that adorns his cheeks still when you call him that.

"What do you need 4 exactly replicated notebooks for?" He clears his throat.

You set them in Leo's lap, taking the top one off and opening it.

The paper was fine and thin, a bit of a bumpy texture to it when you run the pads of your fingers over the surface. It was cream white, a slight yellow tint to some and a very slight grayish-brown tint to others. The edges were deckled, which you'd fix later, and the back cover to the book had an imprint of the sellers company on it.

"They're for little things. Ones for Leo and the rest are for myself. I was considering getting into drawing, but I think I'm mostly going to use them for keeping track of my thoughts."

Leo picked one up, flipping through the pages. "Like a diary?"

"Not... necessarily."

"Then what?"

As you try to think of a different way to explain it, though, nothing comes to mind.

You bought a book you can write in to record your thoughts and feelings. If that's not a diary you don't know what is.

As if second nature you look towards Kaz, as if he's going to help you out of the mess you made. Instead you're met with your husband doing a shit job at hiding an amused smile.

He did that a lot these days.

"If not a diary, then what is it?" He teases.

"It's just... a journal." You go back to flipping through the pages, drinking in the sound that comes from Kaz as he suppresses a laugh with a controlled breath even if it pisses you off, Leo smiling widely at the display he's managed to produce. "Just to write stuff, yknow?"

Leo closes his journal and opens the next one, going over the pages.

"Write stuff. Personal stuff." Kaz teases again.

"Well, yeah." You shrug. "But also, other non personal things. Just stuff I notice and want to keep track of, like things people gravitate to. And to help me learn languages."

You feel Kaz before you hear him. He presses a feather light kiss to your temple, holding your face with his gloved hand.

It's new, welcomed.

You close your eyes and lean gently into his hand until he pulls away. And when you look back at him, he's got that boyish charm to him that he fought tooth and nail for.

You're just glad you run warm. To ease his worries.

"A journal isn't going to help with your abysmal pronunciation of Ravkan."

You shove the journal into his chest, making him stumble away from you. His smile grows.

"I don't need sass from you, Mr. I-only-know-one-language."

He takes the journal and opens it, looking into it. "I don't need to know more than one when I'm surrounded by people fluent in several."

"Not for much longer you're not."

The comment makes the air in the room melancholy.

Along with Nina going to Ravka to discuss some "important matters," her and Matthias won't be returning to Kerch afterward.

They're going to travel around for a while, exploring the different lands available to them to settle down in. After they explore a bit of Ravka, Nina giving Matthias an ample tour of her homeland, their next stop is Novyi Zem. There they'll do much of the same, basking in eachothers presense as they indulge in the prosperous lands and rich culture.

From there they'll edge into The Wandering Isle, but not too far to avoid the Drüskelle. And then they'll take their leave to the Southern Colonies, where they're planning on taking permanent residence if they don't find somewhere else first.

You're happy for them, and so is Kaz, much as he still hates to express it.

Leo, however, is having a hard time figuring out where he stands on the matter.

Earlier, when you went to treat Nina to waffles as one of the last meals you'll share together for a long while, Leo had made it about halfway to the same little diner the three if you went to when you first found him before stopping.

He stood his ground, refusing to move even as you took his hand and tried to encourage him to even just move out of the road, and then gave you a genuine, sad "sorry" and took off back towards the Slat.

You couldn't get him to turn around and come back. And knowing he'd make himself as difficult to find as possible, you continued to meet Nina, who was as sympathetic as can be despite being disappointed.

Even now, you can see the way Leo grips the notebooks, ready to flee.

Your fingers find the back of his head, gently scratching his scalp and loosening the knots in his hair. His shoulders loosen, and he let's out a deep breath.

He's the only reason they haven't done this sooner. But now that he's older and they've had time to learn how to manage the sheer amount of money they came into possession of, it's time.

"They leave tomorrow. Inej will be back as well to see her off." It was a feeble attempt to lighten his mood.

And it doesn't work, his smile not even reaching his eyes. "I know."

You can't think of anything else to say. And Leo stands up, setting the journals on the chair, and walks out the door.

--------

Inej makes it to the harbor before everyone else. Her boat is docked right where it always is, and she's throwing herself off the side and bounding towards the group of you before you can point it out.

You pick up the pace, Nina following right after, luggage forgotten about once she gets to the base of the steps.

The both of you wrap Inej up in a hug, not squeezing hard, but hard enough that you're sure that Inej is having a bit of some difficulty breathing.

You all let go, you taking Inejs hands in yours, smiling as wide as you can. "It's so good to see you."

"You too."

Nina puts a hand on Inejs shoulder. "Are you sure you're alright with taking me to Ravka?"

Inej gives her a contented look. "I'm sure. I'll just be dropping you off, no getting off the boat."

You hardly get another moment with her before Jesper is shoving his way through. He draws out her name, slowly and gently coming down to wrap her in a hug. She reciprocates, already having seen his quick approach.

As Wylan comes to stand next to the hugging pair, Jesper swinging them from side to side, you turn toward Matthias to see him smiling at the display as well.

He's gotten so much more comfortable over the past few years, his year in prison far behind him. It's nice to see him smile so openly, so lovingly.

The boys let go of Inej, Leo having given her a hug as well.

He decided to come along silently, standing outside the Slat and ready to follow to the docks.

No one said a word, just nodded at him as he tailed right beside you.

Getting to see Inej breaks the tension within him a little. You can tell, his shoulders more relaxed and his smiles coming easier.

He moves out of the way as Nina gets Inej's attention again. Inej allows the tears to collect in her eyes as she hugs her once more, the both of them gripping eachother.

Inej sighs. "You'd think I'd be used to this."

They giggle, and so do you.

A high, sad whine escapes Nina's throat. "I didnt realize how hard this was."

"It gets easier."

"I don't think it does."

They go silent, gripping eachother just a little harder before letting go.

You suppose there's some truth to both those statements.

As Nina turns to you, wrapping you up in her arms, you find it hard to do the same.

Because sure, if you do this enough it can start to feel like routine. You lean in close, holding the other together as tight as possible, and then you say goodbye.

But there's so much more.

You hike your arms up and squeeze around her middle, only minding your pressure just a little to avoid forcing all the air out of her lungs. She does not afford you the same courtesy, and squeezes you as tight as possible.

Emotionally, it doesn't. Everytime Inej leaves it feels as if a piece of you is being taken away. And now two more pieces are leaving, a sizeable hole forming in your heart.

When will it be whole again?

When will every one of you be back in the same place, after almost 8 years since the Ice Court? With one hunting slavers and two finding a place they can call home?

Childishly, selfishly, you want everyone to stay together. To call this place, right here, their home, and settle down.

But that's not how real life works.

So you squeeze her a little tighter, and eventually when you let go, you allow the little piece of her that occupies your heart to float away with her.

"Take care of yourself." You say to her, clutching her hands in yours.

She laughs, her loud barking laugh, and tears run down her cheeks. "8 years and that's all you have to say?"

You scoff, regretting it immediately when the release of air from your lungs sends tears pouring out of your eyes. "You know I suck with this emotional goodbye bullshit."

"You and our boys all do."

You turn towards where Kaz and Matthias are standing next to eachother, Kaz's hands placed firmly on his cane and Matthias with his hands clenched into loose fists at his sides.

While he has grown more relaxed over the years, that Drüskelle rigidness has yet to be completely shed, if it ever will be.

Jesper and Wylan get their turn saying goodbye to Nina, and you walk over to Matthias.

He relaxes slightly, his body curving down ever so slightly to become just a bit more eye level with you.

"What do you want, big guy? A hug? Handshake? Fistbump?"

He smiles at the humor in your voice, rolling his eyes, and then he's walking forward, arms out.

It's only half surprising, your eyebrows raising ever so slightly as you walk into him.

He's still as solid as can be, but he's gentle in the way he uses that solidness. His arms wrap around your upper body in a way that encapsulates you, your hands flattening across his back.

The hug is much shorter than Nina's, but it's only slightly less emotional.

Your tears continue to fall. His eyes manage to get a glossy look to them, which is basically the same as you breaking down into an ugly sob if you had to put it on a scale.

You take hold of his arms, his hands holding onto your elbows.

"You take care of yourself as well. Keep eachother safe."

He smiles. "You and the demjin really do suck at goodbyes." His Fjerdan hasn't faded a bit, with you, him, Nina, and ocassionally Wylan all speaking it when he does. You and Wylan were learning to speak more like a native, you catching on much faster than him, who wanted to stay more towards textbook Fjerdan.

You're going to miss those bits of chaos, with Kaz and Jesper standing off to the side giving the lot of you looks of confusion and horror when they pick up on certain words out of context.

"Give me a break, half of you are gone now."

He gives your elbows a squeeze. "We will visit, as promised."

"You better. I'll be visiting you too once you get settled down, so you better be prepared."

"I wouldn't expect any less."

You let go of eachother, your body subconsciously finding Kaz's and standing as close as you can to him.

Leo is talking nervously to Nina. Their voices are gone with the wind, his mouth moving rapidly as hers stays slow, hands coming up and wiping away his tears.

He stops, lips turned down, and she brings him into her. Just like you, he can't seem to make his arms move at first. But when he does, they fly around Nina, squeezing her as tightly as a thirteen year old boy can.

You hope this doesn't break him. It's hard enough whenever Inej comes and goes, you have no idea how hard this will be for him with Nina and Matthias visiting so much less often.

They pull apart, and Nina wipes his tears once more. She says something, low enough that you see Inej try and lean in to hear. Whatever she says, Leo gets a serious look on his face, and then nods.

She ruffles his hair, making him giggle.

Inej takes this as her cue to make her way on over. Her eyes are a little pink and glassy, and her nose has gone a little red from where she's been rubbing it.

You hold your arms out again, and she accepts as she takes those last few steps. She's still so thin, but you know better than to think she's gotten weak. You can feel it in the firmness with which she hugs you and how tense her back is, hard muscles sleeping beneath her clothes.

"I've only seen you for five minutes and you're leaving already. And taking Nina and Matthias with you."

You feel more than you hear her chuckle. "Ill visit soon. And so will they when they're ready."

"I know." You pull away. "It just hurts."

She moves on to say something to Kaz, and you look back towards Nina to see Leo handing her one of the journals from yesterday. Usually you'd be a little upset at the regifting, but the awed look on Nina's face brings more confusion than anything else.

They hug again, squeezing tighter than before if possible, and then Leo is running back towards you.

He slams into you, and you're half ready for it. Your body stumbles backwards, his fingers digging into your side and shoulder blade. A third hand comes and stabilizes you as you put your hand on the back of his head, and your other on his back.

He's grown so much. Both physically and emotionally. He's tall enough now that his forehead can rest comfortably in the meat of your shoulder, and considering that he's only 13, you're willing to bet he'll be as tall as Matthias once he's done growing.

The people this important to him leaving will be hard, like opening an old wound, but you can tell he's been prepared for this. They've been openly preparing to leave Kerch for about a year and a half, discussing it when the topic comes up.

He knew this was going to happen.

You just hope you're prepared for how emotional this will be once they're actually gone, boat disappearing across the horizon.

You squeeze him a little tighter, wishing that just holding him like this would make everything better.

"You okay?" You ask.

He nods his head, but doesn't let go.

The other hand rubs your back from side to side. You can feel the leather through your many layers, the vibrations of the friction as he readjusts his fingers making you smile.

Looking up, you see Nina begin making her way over.

Gently, you encourage Leo to let you go. He stands next to Kaz, who does his best to comfort him, gloves fingers moving his hair from his face and behind his ears.

"One last hug before you go." You ask.

She doesn't deny you. "Youre doing a lot of that today."

"Forgive me for wanting to hold you while youre still here."

"Apologize for that again and I'll drag you with me to throw you overboard."

You both laugh, the sound coming from your bellies. Your heart stutters, and it makes you feel a whole lot better.

"Leo gave me a journal to write in while I'm away." She whispers.

"Are you going to use it?"

"Don't be stupid. Of course I will." She pulls away, wiping at her eyes. "And you can read about our adventures for generations to come."

"The size of your ego won't fit on that boat."

"I'll make it work."

You cup her head in your hands. "You always do."

Her lip wobbles, and Matthias takes that as his cue to come in and comfort her.

For a while you all stand in the middle of the docks of fifth harbor. Hoards of people give you dirty looks as they brush past, but no one could find it in them to care.

It's obvious that you're all just finding excuses to keep the conversation going. But the thing is, it's not hard. It's the easiest thing in the world. Topics flow into more topics, strings tying each one together so intricately that you loop back to the beginning several times without more than a blink, and then you're off on something else just as quickly.

And time continues, despite the unrelenting need for it to stop.

When you eventually look up, the sky is becoming a darker shade of blue than the ever lovely warm orange it sports. The sun is just barely peeking over the horizon if you had to guess, the torrential waves surrounding Ketterdam ever present.

Everyone goes silent, realizing the time, and then they begin their goodbyes.

The cycle starts with Jesper and ends with Kaz, who gives both Nina and Inej a tip of his hat, Matthias getting a handshake.

You put a hand on Ninas shoulder. "I hope you find the best piece of land the world has to offer."

"I won't settle for anything less, given what we've been through. I deserve it."

You both smile, giggles almost bubbling. "That you do."

You let your hand slip off her shoulder as she turns away to pick up her things, journal stuffed safely into her shoulder bag.

With nothing left to do, they wave goodbye with their stuffed hands, and Helnik and Inej are on the boat and pulling out of her berth and out into the sea.

The waves allow them to pass, making for a beautiful scene of The Wraith bathed in the light of the nearly set sun, and they're gone.

Nobody says anything.

You wrap your son in your arms, and take your husband's hand. Wylan tucks himself into Jespers arms, and props him up.

Everything feels like it's falling apart.

But for your sanity, and those around you. You tell yourself everything is as it should be, no matter how bullshit it feels.

Because everything is as it should be. It just...

It doesn't feel good.

A hand comes up and wipes your cheek, and you let it rid your face of the tears.

"Come. Home time." Kaz says. There's a gentle tug on your arm, and it's almost like he tugs on your heartstrings too.

He makes everything easier.

You finally look away from the waves, and you feel just a little better. "Home time."

You look down at Leo, who also has tears running down his face. He let's you wipe them away, and then nods. "Home time."

"See you tomorrow?" Wylan asks, Jesper cleaning himself up right next to him.

You hum a deep, confirming tone. "Tomorrow. Dinner."

He nods. "Dinner it is."

Kaz tugs once more, just as gentle, and you give in.

It's time to go home.

∘₊✧──────────────────✧₊∘

Tags:

@b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @a-candle-maker @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @kylie18 @morrigan-crowmwell @venomsvl @milkshake0

And I hope it's okay to tag these people as well since you guys specifically asked for a part 2 in the notes:

@curiousdarlin @beautifulbows924 @jjmaybanksrings

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker imagine #six of crows x reader #six of crows x you #six of crows x y/n #six of crows fanfic #six of crows imagine #grishaverse x you #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse x y/n #grishaverse fanfic #grishaverse imagine #fanfic #ask #idohknow