#because god knows dad could never finish a fucking project

[sonicslushie]

Slipped My Mind ~ P.P.

Summary: You’re the person who designs Spiderman’s suits, but you never actually met the man- or boy- behind the mask. 

A/N: terrible summary & first fic, originally this was going to be based on the conan gray song “yours” but it took an odd turn in there so it's not lmao. But if you wanna read that let me know i’m dying to write more for petey boy. This is also like a little fluff thing that i threw together in a few hours so it’s not the best (my b) 

a playlist for u to listen to as u read<3

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark Intern!Reader 

TW: kinda a clueless reader, mentions of blood and open wounds, 

Wordcount: 3.6k

Ice cream was all you wanted. It was your lunch break from Stark Industries, the place you interned at because of your impressive resume, and partly because your dad just so happened to be the owner of Tony Stark’s favorite burger place. You had been a pretty smart kid, finished highschool early and graduated MIT with a degree in engineering and all you wanted was to build supersuits. That was the dream, wasn’t it? Helping the world’s mightiest heroes by being the one who created their high tech suits and accessories, actually making a difference for those who saved billions of lives? Yeah, no. 

You started out three years ago as Ms. Potts' personal assistant at the ripe age of 16. You spent 2.5 years of that assisting just doing the basic intern stuff; grabbing coffee and burgers, attending meetings to take notes, scheduling and yatta yatta, the occasional fake laugh at a dad joke that Mr. Stark made. It wasn’t until you joined Ms. Potts in Mr. Stark’s lab to give him his burger, and you corrected his formulas on some project and you thought it was OVER. He looked surprised that you even spoke to him, oh fuck, you messed up. Or so you had thought. He actually told you that you were right?? Then, I swear to god, he asked what you would do to improve the project he was working on. (It was a super suit for the newest hero, Spiderman.) He liked your idea to add what you called the “training wheels” protocol. Mr. Stark decided to give you a chance and he had you help him create the rest of the suit, and now 6 months later, you were in charge of all things Spiderman. 

But that’s not the point of the story right now, right now, you wanted ice cream. 

And you had just bought two big scoops in a freshly made waffle cone. Honestly the best use of 5 bucks, or so you thought. Just as you were about to take the first lick, a red and blue streak sprinted past- no into you. It was like a movie, all you saw was your delicious creamy dessert flying up in the air in slow motion, then- SLAT! Both you and the ice cream were on the ground, a familiar looking super suit standing above you, stammering about how he was “so sorry” and “chasing a bad guy” in a very peppy voice. 

“You’re Spiderman, why weren’t you swinging from building to building?” You asked, furious you were now going to have to buy another one. You just wanted one thing, could you not just have it without dealing with this bozo? 

“Forgot to put in new web fluid. I’m sorry about your ice cream but I’ve really gotta- I don’t see him anymore. Shoot.” He says, shaking his head. “You know what, let me make this up to you. I’ll buy you another one.” 

Well that seemed fair and it slightly cooled off your now bad mood. You agree and wait in line with the dude who you create super suits for. The funny thing is, this was actually the first time you ever met the one and only Spiderman- or Spiderling as Mr. Stark calls him. You don’t even know who the person is under the mask, but at this point you really didn’t care about it, you just wanted your ice cream. 

After waiting in line for what felt like forever and making meaningless small talk with the masked hero, you make it to the front of the line. 

“Two scoops of strawberry, please. Waffle cone.” You smile at the worker, then turn to Spiderboy. You say at the same time as the employee, “5 bucks.” 

The Spiderdude pats his sides as if feeling for a wallet, then looks at you with that expressionless mask- god you had to work on that- and says, “I don't have my wallet.” 

You could almost smack him in the back of the head, but you just take your wallet out and give the worker a 5 dollar bill. Taking the new ice cream, you turn to the hero, “Well now you owe me two, Spidey.” 

“I-I’ll make it up to you, do you have Venmo?” He asks, panic rising in his voice. He sounded young, maybe around your age. If you were honest, he piqued your interest. So instead of rolling your eyes and walking away, you pulled your phone out. 

“Here,” you say, ready to just get back to the lab. He takes a picture of it and gives you a thumbs up. 

“I’ll have to make a new venmo so you can’t figure out my identity, but I gotta run.” He says, and literally runs off. You stand there, looking at the hero you basically manage but just met, then your ice cream. What a day, huh? You shrug it off and begin to eat your ice cream as you head back to the office. 

The ice cream had been off your mind ever since you finished the yummy dessert, and went back to designing your own web fluid. Sure the dude had his own way of making it (you weren’t really sure if it had been coming out of him or not until today, you never really had the chance to ask anyone), but you knew you could do it better. Everyone at Stark Industries called you ‘Junior’ for a reason, and it wasn’t just because of your crazy intelligence. It might have also been the slight egotistical self assurance and the stubbornness you possessed. 

As you worked you listened to music and snacked on the various foods you hid in the lab unbeknownst to Mr. Stark. Here and there you would test the web fluid with some of the new web shooter prototypes you had made, at this point you could swing around New York from how often you used these things. You often thought of it and giggled at the thought; ridiculous, these silly little dreams you possessed. 

You had been giggling about it to yourself when the one and only Mr. Stark walked in- with a kid who was talking so fast and in such a familiar peppy tone that you couldn’t help but look up. 

“-and then I looked up dodo birds and did you know they’re basically just big pigeons?” He finished, looking up at Mr. Stark with big brown doe eyes that sparkled in the light. Sparkle in the light? Oh come on, y/n. You caught yourself ogling at the new kid, still trying to figure out where you heard that voice before. Little miss genius might be able to create the highest tech super suits in the world, but boy oh boy did you have a hard time connecting dots. 

“Right, big pigeons. Anyway, Peter, this is y/n y/l/n. Junior, this is Peter Parker.” Mr. Stark says, looking at you as if you could take the excitable kid off of his hands. 

Now, Mr. Stark is a lot of things, and busy is one of them. This just so happens to affect his memory, and in this case, he completely forgot that he never introduced Spiderling- Peter Parker- to his favorite intern. It slipped his mind, I mean when you’re a billionaire CEO and a superhero, the little things tend to slip the mind. It’s not like he meant to never introduce you two, he really did mean to. But every time Peter’s been at the tower, Junior was always gone either for the weekend or for her lunch break. Plus, Mr. Stark had things to do. Like right now; get out of this boring conversation and get burgers from his favorite burger place with Happy. 

“Oh it’s nice to meet you, Peter.” You say, not knowing that you met Peter earlier that day as Spiderman. But Peter knew, and he also forgot that he had to venmo you for that ice cream from earlier. Caught off guard, his eyes just go wide and he awkwardly smiles and waves at you like an idiot. 

“Um okay. Anyway, Mr. Stark, I was about to head out, but I got the new web fluid made and finished up the new prototypes for web shooters. I also started up blueprints for a new suit. I forgot to mention I saw Spiderboy today and I gotta say, that suit does nothing for his ass.” You say, going back to the blueprints in front of you, making sure everything is perfect for tomorrow morning. Mr. Stark takes a peek over your shoulder, nodding in approval, then says, “Well I’ve got to hit the road, I’ve got… an important meeting to attend. Yeah. See ya tomorrow, Junior, same to you Pete.” 

You and Peter tell Mr. Stark bye in various fashions, being left in an awkward silence, neither of you really knowing how to proceed from there. Mr. Stark never told you that you would be meeting with Spiderdude to discuss your progress on the new ideas you had come up with but if he didn't show up before 5 you weren't staying, you'd didn't get paid enough. Peter wasn’t told he would be seeing the girl he literally ran into and owe her ice cream money. Seems like it just slipped Mr. Stark’s mind again. 

“So um, whatcha doing here Peter?” You say, begin to clean up your workstation to go home. Peter was just standing awkwardly behind you, trying to figure out what to say. He was also unaware that you didn’t know that he was Spiderman, he had figured Mr. Stark would have told you if you were the one working on his suits all this time. 

“Oh I was um- just leaving actually. Looks like you’re ready to go home, so I- Yeah I’m just gonna go.” He says quickly, turning on his heel to leave. At this point you were just ready to go home, so you shrug it off and say, “Nice meeting you, Peter. See ya.” 

He doesn’t say anything as he leaves. If he was being honest, he’s never been good at talking to pretty girls. Not to mention super awesome pretty intern girls who have been providing him his super awesome super suit. Probably too many “supers” but he didn’t care, he could barely even function in the same room as you. Not to mention he made a fool of himself earlier, but honestly you didn’t even seem to remember, which threw him off even more. And when you said “nice to meet you” it confused him, you two had met earlier that day. God, he had to get some fresh air. 

Peter made it outside and was cooling down from that super awkward and weird encounter, when he saw you pulling out of the car park in your car, singing along loudly to some Miley Cyrus song. He turns away, trying not to make it obvious that he was avoiding you. But you turned your head as you were looking for oncoming traffic, and you saw him. 

You don’t know why you did it, but you rolled your window down and yelled above the loud ass music, “Hey Peter! You waiting on a ride?” 

He was too caught off guard to lie, and to be fair he didn’t even like lying, so he shook his head and before he knew it, he was getting in your car. 

“Where are you heading?” You asked, turning the music down. He tries not to be as awkward as before as he says, “Queens, but it’s a far drive you really don’t have to-” 

“Oh I live there too! Don’t even worry about it,” you say, happy you could do something for the odd kid. He was a bit awkward, but in a cute sort of way. It almost made your stomach get butterflies at the thought of you of all people making him nervous. 

“Oh okay, thanks so much. I really appreciate it,” he says, then after a beat of intense silence with Miley wailing in the background, he decides to try and make conversation. “So how long have you been working for Mr. Stark?” 

“Since I was 16, so like 3 years. Most of it was being Ms. Potts’ assistant though,” you say, tapping your fingers to the beat. 

“Woah, wait so did you like graduate early?” He asks, now immensely intrigued. You give him the rundown of the past 6 years of your life, to which he’s very impressed and totally not thinking about how pretty you look in the dying sunlight. Totally would never do that. 

“But yeah, that’s me. What about you, how did you get involved with Mr. Stark?” You ask, glancing over at him slightly. You must say for a dork, he had some very nice features. 

“Very long story that includes him hitting on my aunt. Ugh,” he shivers at the memory, “And a trip to Germany.” 

That rings some bells in your head, but to be fair Mr. Stark is in Germany a lot so you don’t really question it. Like I said, you don’t connect dots very well unless it’s in the form of equations. 

You guys talk all the way to Peter’s apartment, you even give him your phone number if he ever needs a ride to the office. As Peter walks off, you both can’t help but wonder how weird the day has been. But as you drive off and turn up the radio, you put it out of your mind. Time to go home and relax. 

Only when you got home, you didn’t relax. Almost as soon as you step into your apartment, your phone lets out a little “cha-ching” noise, notifying you that someone just venmoed you. You completely forgot about Spidey owing you for your ice cream until you saw the little notification: Spidey paid you $10 with an ice cream emoji underneath. You smirk, then go back to fully entering your apartment. Only to hear your phone go off a few seconds later, another venmo notification, this time a comment left under the money he just paid you. 

I feel really bad about earlier. I figured I’d pay for both. 

You raise an eyebrow at your phone, smiling a little to yourself. He seems sweet. Sweeter than most guys you’ve run into in the middle of New York. And trust me, it’s happened more often than you’d like to admit. 

You type back. 

I really appreciate that Spiderdude. Love the profile pic;)

His profile picture was that one Spiderman meme with the three Spidermans pointing at each other. It made you giggle, at least he had a sense of humor. Most superheroes (*cough* Steve Rogers *cough*) didn’t. A few seconds later he sends another message. 

Next time I’ll get you three scoops:)

You smiled and decided that was a pretty good deal, three free ice creams? Sounds like a scam but you weren’t going to question it. You just put your phone down and decided it was time to have a nice warm bath and rock out to Taylor Swift. 

It was a while before you heard from both Peter or Spiderman, and you were still clueless to the fact that they were the same person. After a few weeks of that whole situation being off your mind, you were going into work on a late night call from Mr. Stark said that something urgent came up with the Spiderling and he wasn’t in town to take care of it. So, you jumped out of bed and rushed out still in your pajamas to the Stark Tower. 

You sped all the way there, the stars oddly bright for the city. You made note to go to the rooftop of your apartment whenever you were able to make it back. You always had a thing for the stars, having not grown up in New York. The city was beautiful, but you could truly say that you hated the nights there. No stars glittering overhead, cars and people being loud at all hours of the night. The only good thing you could say about the night in New York was all the food places that were open 24/7. (You tend to have a craving for Thai food at odd hours of the night.) 

Upon arriving at the Stark Tower, you ask F.R.I.D.A.Y what’s going on, and she directs you to your lab. You make your way up there, wondering what in the world this kid could be needing that’s so urgent. If it’s something stupid, dear god, help him. You would molly whop him into the next dimension. 

The lab doors upon a very beat up Spiderboy, who’s laid across your desk. Laying in a pile of blood. Okay, good enough reason, you supposed, immediately dropping all idea’s of punching the poor kid in the head. 

You rush up to him, taking in his half dead state of being. A giant would- no a hole would be a better way of putting it. Just a big hole in his side, with a lot of blood seeping out of it. You poke him, making sure he’s still breathing. He groans in response, it’s enough to get you moving. You had planned on this a long time ago, you created a device to regrow skin just for this occasion. You found it and within seconds, his wound began healing, though it might take a while for him to create enough blood to be able to even be able to sit up again. At that thought, you ordered F.R.I.D.A.Y. to get the building’s onsite medical team to get the kid. 

Once you were finished fixing his gaping hole, you poked him again, praying he was still alive. There was so much blood everywhere, but you tried to keep your Thai food down as you begged for him to wake up. 

“Come on kid, you can’t die on me. Mr. Stark would kill us both,” you say, starting to shake him now. You could see his chest moving up and down slightly, but he wasn’t waking up. You pleaded in your head for the med team to get there quickly, you didn’t know why you were so upset by this. Sure, it would be sad if the kid died, but you didn’t know him like that. You didn’t know him well enough to be crying over his dying body, begging him to just open his eyes or say something. Not that you could see them through the mask-

The mask. 

Your trembling hand goes to take it off, but the medical team rushes in just as you begin peeling it off, only exposing his neck. 

You step back as the med team begins working on him, you let them know that you healed him, but he needed blood. That was all you could say before they moved him onto the gurney and began taking him away, you called after, “Just wake up, Spidey, please!” 

That was the first thing that Peter remembers hearing, your voice. Lights were flashing overhead as he heard people saying things above him, though he couldn’t comprehend any of it. God, he was so dizzy. And why wasn’t his side hurting anymore? He started grabbing for his side, but the people around him stopped him from doing so. What was going on?

“You were bleeding out,” one of them says from above him, he’s starting to hear them more clearly now. Maybe his superhealing had finally set in. “No, Ms. y/l/n just saved your life. Now calm down, you’re going to be okay.” 

Peter didn’t realize he was just speaking his thoughts as they came to him, he also didn’t realize that you had decided to follow the medical team just to make sure he ended up okay. It’s not that you didn’t trust them, you just wanted to be sure. So much for looking at the stars, huh? 

Peter kept babbling as the medical team got him to their facility a few floors down, starting to connect tubes to give him more blood. One of them goes to take his mask off to check for any head wounds, but he stops them. He’s conscious enough to know that he knows none of these people, and none of these people need to know that he’s Peter Parker. 

“You’re Peter Parker?” You say, total confusion in your voice. Damn it, did he say that out loud? “Yes, you did, you idiot.” 

You get as close as you can without getting in the way of the people trying to help him. Once they were all done and he was getting the blood that he needed, you asked them to leave so you could talk to Peter. How did you not realize? He has a very distinctive voice, and obviously that’s why Mr. Stark brought him into your lab a few weeks ago. Seriously, not your best moment. 

“So you’re the infamous Spiderman?” You say, sitting on the edge of his cot. He peels his mask off and takes a breath of fresh air. 

“Wait,” it hits him that you didn’t know, what is going on? “You didn’t know?” 

“Nope,” you laugh, “I’m not really sure how I didn’t, especially after Mr. Stark brought you in there. I’m also not sure how he never mentioned that you were there person I’ve been making all this superhero stuff for. Must have slipped his mind.” Understatement of the century. 

“I thought you knew, that’s why I never really mentioned it. Also,” he smiles a little to himself, “I promised to get you ice cream next time I saw you. How about it?” 

You raise your eyebrow at him, “You’re in a cot getting blood poured into you.” 

“When I’m better?” 

“Sounds like a date.”

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker fluff #peter parker imagine #mcu peter parker #peter parker fanfiction #spiderman x you #spiderman x reader #spiderman fanfiction #spiderman fanfic

[gabseyoo]

wee hours.

pairing: fushiguro toji x fem!reader | wc: 4k.

summary: things took an unexpected turn when you ran into your friend's father in the kitchen of his house in the wee hours of the morning.

warnings: no curses!au, single dad!toji, pwp, profanity, mentions of alcohol use, big age gap, fingering, oral (f/m), deepthroating, hair pulling, slight degradation, choking, breath play, manhandle, kitchen sex, unprotected sex.

Having to be the designated driver for the night sounded better than it actually is. You never thought your friends would drink so much that you had to drive everyone home and help them safely to their rooms because they could barely stand up by themselves.

You had already taken Yuji and Nobara to their respective homes, the last one was Megumi who at this point seemed to be on the verge of fainting. 

If Itadori had been a little more sober, his help would have been great, but now it was just you with your arm around your friend’s waist to help him up the stairs without making too much noise, you weren’t sure if his father was home—although it was obvious that he was because it was almost two o’clock in the morning—, but the last thing you wanted was him to see his son in this state. 

“Megumi, please help me a little.” You whispered as your friend fell to his knees only a few steps away from reaching the second floor.

“Wa-wanna sleep.” He mumbled trying to lean back against the stairs, god have mercy. 

“You can sleep when we get to your fuckin’ room, c’mon.” 

Somehow, you managed to get your friend to stand up by pulling him by his shirt so you could lead him to his room. Although when you were finally in front of the door, Megumi had the grandiose idea of stumbling and hitting his head on the wood with a loud thud. 

From now on, you decided you hate babysitting drunks. 

Praying under your breath that his father hadn’t heard that, you opened the door to make way for the poor Megumi. He wasn’t a good drinker, but tonight he was apparently having too much fun not to go crazy, and now this is the result. 

You watched him stagger as he took off his shirt and then lay down on the bed muttering to himself who knows what. Well, at least he was home and in his bed, although for sure when he woke up he was going to have a hell of a hangover, but other than that, he was safe. 

You sighed before closing the door behind you and heading downstairs trying to be as quiet as possible, your job here was done.

“Good morning.” 

What the fuck? You almost screamed at the same time you jumped from the shock you got when you heard a male voice out of nowhere. 

With one hand on your chest feeling the rapid beating of your heart, you turned quickly looking for the source of the voice, and what a surprise you got when in the kitchen was Toji Fushiguro, Megumi’s father, leaning with his forearms on the kitchen island, shirtless. 

“Oh my god.” You muttered under your breath feeling a little relieved that it wasn’t a ghost or a serial killer, but still, you didn’t know if it was a good thing that you had run into Toji. 

He wasn’t a stranger to you, and your friendship with his son wasn’t either, you used to come to Megumi’s house from time to time to do projects or hang out, so you had already had the pleasure of meeting him or even having small conversations. What made the moment awkward now, is that you were in the wee hours of the morning at his house, his son was upstairs passed out drunk, you were wearing the opposite of a decent dress and he wasn’t wearing a shirt which forced you to look down at the floor because you’d be lying if you didn’t find your friend’s dad incredibly hot. 

From the first moment you met him, that day Megumi invited you to his house to finish a project together, you have been repressing those sinful thoughts that popped up in your head about his dad. You didn’t know if it was just that your look was too obvious that day, or this was a speech Megumi already had prepared for his hormonal friends visiting his home, but you vividly remembered how he told you words like: ‘I know my dad might get your attention, I’m not someone who likes to meddle in other people’s business, but… you know… it would make me uncomfortable if my friends tried to flirt with him or something’. And you also vividly remembered how you had told him that he didn’t have to worry, that older men were not your type. And in fact, they weren’t— but Toji seemed to be the exception. 

Back to the current situation, you hoped Toji had just woken up and hadn’t witnessed the moment you took his son upstairs. You didn’t want Megumi to get in trouble or even his father to think you were some kind of bad influence on him for bringing him home in such a condition. 

You heard him chuckle under his breath before he turned on the spotlights above the kitchen bar, illuminating the place a little more and letting you better appreciate his figure. 

“Did I scare you?” Toji asked playfully and you looked up just to witness the moment when he drank a glass of water with his eyes fixed on you. 

“Umm, a little.” You responded awkwardly, trying to avoid looking at him inappropriately, but those abs were not helping. 

He let out a snicker before speaking again, “Sorry, sweetheart.” Although it wasn’t the first time he called you that, his affectionate nickname made your heart race. You noticed how his eyes swept over you from head to toe, perhaps judging your outfit and wondering how young girls these days could go out wearing something like that. Or maybe thinking it’s cute and it looks good on you. Who knows, you’re overthinking at this point. 

He took another sip from his glass before placing it on the bar. “Are you drunk?” 

“No, I barely had one beer. I’m the designated driver.” You answered his question and jiggled your car keys as a way of confirming your words. 

“That’s good, I wasn’t gonna let you drive if you were.” He winked at you with a smirk on his handsome face. “Don’t you want a glass of water or something before you leave?” 

Your mother told you that in other people’s homes it was rude to refuse a glass of water, so you decided to listen to her out of politeness and not because you wanted to prolong this moment with a man twenty years older than you, “Water is fine, thank you.” 

You slowly approached the kitchen island where you sat on one of the stools while he poured the glass, you took advantage of the moment he turned around to admire his back, you also noticed that he wore nothing but black sweats that hung dangerously low on his hips.

Perhaps the only beer you drank was spiked, because the thoughts running through your head were not acceptable. But how could you overlook how attractive the man is? You just couldn’t. 

“I also want to thank you and apologize.” Toji said as he placed the glass on the countertop. 

“Why?” You asked taking the glass to take a short sip, somewhat awkward since Toji had his eyes fixed on you. 

“Thank you for bringing Megumi home, and apologize on his behalf for the trouble he gave you— taking care of drunks is a pain in the ass, don’t you think?”

Shit. “No, actually he wasn’t that drunk, he just—” Toji’s laughter cut you off in the middle of your attempted justification. 

“Don’t even try, sweetheart. I saw him crash right into his door.” Well, at least he didn’t look angry, “He also forgot to block me from his Instagram stories.” Stupid Megumi. You knew perfectly well that in more than one of those stories you were probably dancing and singing along with your friends. 

You put a hand to your face, embarrassed, “I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for? You didn’t do anything bad, right?” He shrugged, “And don’t worry about my son, I’m glad he’s finally having some college fun. I’m also pleased to know that he has a pretty friend who cares about him.”

Did he just call me pretty?

Toji leaned his forearms on the counter again, right in front of you, the movement made his muscles flex and some veins stand out. He was so close that with a simple movement of your hands you could touch him— but no, Y/N behave yourself. 

“Thank you.” It wasn’t the best you could answer, but it was the only thing you could think of; you were so nervous that you started playing with the keys in your hands as a distraction from your impure thoughts. 

Toji seemed to notice this, because he asked, “Am I making you uncomfortable?” 

You widened your eyes immediately and shook your head, “No! It’s just…” Wait, what are you supposed to say? ‘It’s just that you make me horny?’ Of course not. 

“It’s just what?” Toji didn’t seem angry, but rather intrigued with a hint of amusement, you could tell by the smirk that appeared on his scarred lips. Your heart rate intensified when he brought one of his hands up to your face to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “Do I make you nervous by any chance?” 

Toji Fushiguro was flirting with you? You wanted to think you were seeing things where there are none, how could it be possible that your friend’s father saw you as a woman? Are you crazy? You tried not to get your hopes up, but when his thumb began to caress your cheek, you knew that maybe your suspicions weren’t so foolish and that you had an opportunity that you were not going to miss. 

“A little.” 

“Why?” He licked his lips as his big hand cupped your face and squeezed your cheeks a little to force you to look him in the eye. 

“You know why.” Your answer sounded more provocative than you thought, and it seemed to be enough for him because he brought his face closer to yours to the point that your noses were touching. 

“You won’t tell anyone about this, right?” You answered with a small no before his thumb stopped pressing on your cheek to slowly move to caress your lower lip, by reflex, you opened your mouth slightly. “Good girl.” His finger made its way between your lips and you instinctively sucked on it without taking your gaze from his, which let you appreciate how his eyes darkened with pure lust. 

When his digit left your mouth it was only to press his lips to yours, unleashing what would be the hungriest kiss you had ever had in your life. 

You crawled over the countertop to intensify the kiss some more, moaning when you felt his tongue against yours; you had thought about it, but now you were proving that Toji was an incredible kisser. 

It seemed like a dream, right now you were sitting on your heels on top of the marble fulfilling one of your greatest fantasies, touching his body— your hands roamed from his shoulders to his pecs and abs, then down to the edge of his sweats and you felt him tense up when you decided to go a little lower to feel his erection in your hand. 

Meanwhile, he had one of his hands squeezing one of your breasts and the other caressing your thighs, you could feel your walls clench around nothing from the growing arousal you were experiencing. 

“You’re so pretty.” He mumbled against your lips, “So pretty and so fuckin’ hot, I bet you’ve been wantin’ this, huh?” You nodded as quickly as the words reached your ears and he pulled your hair back to look at your face. “I know, me too, doll— let’s just be quiet, okay?” 

Two pats on your thigh were the indication for you to sit properly in front of him before resuming the messy kiss you both shared, all while he pulled down the straps of your dress with desperation, freeing your breasts to then do the same with your panties and dropping the fabric to the floor.

You didn’t expect it when he grabbed you from behind your knees and spread your legs apart to look at your glistening pussy. Your confidence got a boost when you noticed the lustful way he was admiring such an intimate part of your body, so you let him get a better view by leaning your body back, supporting yourself on your forearms. 

“You’re gorgeous.” You didn’t know if he meant it to you completely or just to your sex, either way, you didn’t care, especially when he buried his head in the middle of your legs— wow. No doubt he was someone with a lot of experience, he had no problem finding your clit and concentrating his tongue there, making slow movements that made you arch your back. “You’re drenched down here, sweetheart.” 

“That’s because of you.” You responded trying to control your gasps, but his tongue felt so good— and the sensations only increased when he slowly slipped two of his fingers into your tiny entrance. 

“I know, doll. You’re such a slut for me, huh?” He stopped licking and stood upright, still moving his fingers inside you. “Always looking at me with those pretty eyes of yours, provoking me.” 

Toji curved his fingers touching your sweet spot, eliciting a moan from you that you tried to stifle, still aware that you needed to be quiet, but he was making your task impossible.

“I’ve wanted to fuck you for a while.” He admitted. You began to feel your orgasm close, with each brush of his fingers and then his thumb stimulating your clit, he was bringing you to the edge. “Gonna cum?” 

“Fuck, yes.” He bent down again to suck your clit, this being the last push you needed to cum completely in his mouth. Your legs trembled and had he not been holding one with his free hand you would have crushed his head when you felt such an explosion of pleasure. It had been a long time since you had had an intense orgasm and you couldn’t believe it was your friend’s father who had brought it on. 

“You taste amazing, sweetheart.” You heard him say as you tried to control your breathing, god, you were so turned on that all you needed was to have him inside you at once. 

You sat up straight, watching as he withdrew his coated fingers from you and took them into his mouth, his eyes connected to yours making the scene feel more lecherous than it already was. “Toji, please fuck me.” 

Your plea brought a smile to his face, you thought he was finally going to pull his cock out and shove it inside you, but he had other plans in mind, “Let me see my cock in your mouth first, okay?” 

And in the blink of an eye, you were stepping off the counter to get down on your knees in front of him, facing the big bulge in his sweats. He didn’t wait any longer to pull down his garment just enough to free his painfully erect member. It was certainly proportional to his body and that was why you almost backed out, how was that supposed to fit in your mouth? 

“Show me what your pretty mouth can do and I’ll fuck you.” You started by wrapping one hand around his shaft to stroke it up and down, you tried to suppress your smile when you heard him moan softly, that you were the one to bring out those reactions from Toji only motivated you to bring his swollen tip into your mouth to make slow circles with your tongue. “Mmm, stop teasing.” 

Toji grabbed a fistful of your hair pulling it slightly to keep it out of the way when you finally got more of his length into your cavity. You began to move your head until you found your pace, combining the movements of your tongue along with those of your hand that was in charge of stimulating what didn’t fit in your mouth. 

Tears began to appear at the corners of your eyes the deeper you took him, you could feel his cock hitting the back of your throat and you did your best to avoid the gag reflex. 

He seemed to like it, because a high moan came out of his mouth as his grip on your hair intensified, “Fuck, you’re surprisingly good at sucking dick.” 

You gasped as Toji began to move his hips, mercilessly fucking your mouth, you had no choice but to loosen your jaw and take what he was giving you. His other hand went to the back of your neck to make you take it as deep as possible, causing your nose to bump into his pubic hair and more saliva to come out of your mouth, you looked up to hear him groan at the sound of your choking, finding him with his head thrown back and some veins in his neck standing out. 

“Shit. I’m close.” You were ready to receive his load after his little announcement, but Toji left your mouth abruptly. You took a deep breath trying to recover as he pulled your hair back to make you lift your head and licked his lips at the sight of your destroyed face. “C’mere.” 

He helped you to your feet and without any gentleness pushed you against the kitchen island with your back to him, his hands went to the hem of your dress to pull it up high enough to expose your ass. 

A sigh escaped your lips as you felt his muscular torso against your back and his heavy breathing in your ear tickling you, his hands went to your breasts to squeeze and pinch your nipples as he pleased, the painful but pleasurable action made you close your eyes as you moaned his name under your breath. 

“You’ll be the death of me.” He whispered against your ear before moving down to your neck to leave wet kisses, “I’ve always wondered how you’d feel.” One of his hands left your chest and then you felt the tip of his cock against your entrance, you automatically leaned forward a little and lifted your ass to give him better access. “I bet you’re tight.”

“Why don’t you find out?” After your teasing question, you felt Toji slide his cock over your labia, lubricating himself a little more before he began to slowly push it in, stretching your walls with every inch. “Oh god.” It hurt, but it felt so fucking good.

“Shit. That’s… Fuck, I was right.” He mumbled when his balls finally collided with your buttocks. “How does it feel, sweetheart?” 

“T-too big.” That was all you managed to say, eliciting a chuckle from Toji. 

“But you can take it, right?” His words came accompanied by the sudden movement of his dick coming out of you only to go back in much harder, pounding deeper this time. “Huh?”

“I can.” 

That was enough for him to start ramming you with increasing speed, the sound of your skins clashing echoed through the kitchen and in the back of your mind you hoped it wasn’t enough to wake Megumi. How would he react if he found you in this compromising situation with his father? What would you do? What would Toji do? You hoped you’d never find the answer to these questions. 

One of Toji’s hands went around your neck, applying just enough pressure to cut off some of the airflow but not enough to completely suffocate you; the other went to the middle of your legs to find your clit and began to stimulate it with his digits. These actions only made your desperate attempt to keep quiet more impossible.

At this rate your lip was going to start bleeding from how hard you were biting it. It was too much, the feeling of being so full plus the climax that was beginning to approach. 

“T-Toji, I’m—” You tried to announce that you were close, but his grip on your neck tightened, cutting off your words and your breathing some more, also making you look up so he could appreciate the moment when you were cumming on his cock. 

Perhaps in an attempt to quiet your moans, his lips returned to yours in a sloppy kiss as his cock continued to move in and out of your overstimulated pussy a little slower to let you savor your orgasm. 

“So fucking gorgeous when you cum.” Toji said with a mischievous smile after breaking the kiss and patted your cheek twice as if he was proud of you. 

For a moment you felt calm, just for a moment, because Toji wasn’t done yet— you gasped in surprise as he grabbed your thigh and lifted your leg in the blink of an eye to start thrusting deeper into your poor cunt, resuming his previous rhythm that had you rocking back and forth. His other hand covered your mouth to stifle the uncontrollable moans coming from your mouth; you were mentally grateful for this because you didn’t think you could hold the sounds any longer. 

“Shit. Keep squeezin’ like that.” His voice sounded above the wet sounds and the crash of his pelvis against your ass. “If my son, fuck, if he wasn’t upstairs I’d be fucking you stupid until you scream,” His thrusts gained speed as his grip on your thigh tightened to the point where you could feel his nails digging in. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Scream my fuckin’ name till everyone knows who’s makin’ you feel good.” 

You nodded stupidly, too cock-drunk to think clearly, you even felt tears begin to leak from your eyes from the immense pleasure he was bringing to your body. Once again, it was too much. 

You heard him mumble that he was about to cum against your ear at the same time his grip on your leg disappeared, dropping it over the counter and pushing your body forward until your naked breasts touched the cold marble. His hand didn’t leave your mouth, insisting on keeping you as quiet as possible while he pursued his climax. The new position was somewhat uncomfortable, but you didn’t bother to complain or change it as Toji kept pounding you hard. 

A few more thrusts were the last thing you felt before Toji suddenly pulled out of you to jerk his cock and spill his ropes of cum all over your ass while muttering countless profanities.

You lay on the counter like a rag doll as you tried to catch your breath. You couldn’t move immediately or even think clearly after such an intense experience. But you knew that the moment your sanity returned to your body, it would hit you like a bucket of cold water when you realized what you had just done. How were you going to look Megumi in the face after this?

“You alive?” He asked mockingly after who knows how long. You felt him wipe a tissue across your bottom, cleaning up his mess. “Don’t die here.” 

A chuckle escaped your lips as you tried to stand up with his help, immediately fixing your dress to cover yourself. You couldn’t make eye contact with him right now, the guilt and shame you were beginning to feel wouldn’t let you. 

You were about to bend down to pick up your panties from the floor but he beat you to it, smiling mischievously before saying, “As a souvenir.”

You let him have his way with it, even though you would surely miss those panties since they were your favorite, it was worth leaving them to him. “I think I should be goin’ now.”

“Yeah.” He cupped your face in his hand to lift your chin and bring his lips to yours once more, this kiss being a little slower than the previous ones. “Let’s do this again sometime, okay?”

Toji walked you to the door and patted your butt telling you to drive carefully, but not before kissing you one more time; and you were about to walk out triumphantly with a teenage smile on your face, until you heard a third voice. 

“Dad?” 

You hoped Megumi was still too drunk to notice the way his father panicked breaking the kiss immediately and almost pushed you out of the house, slamming the door in your face.

#𐀔 — mar wrote this. #— one shots #— jjk #fushiguro toji x reader #toji fushiguro x you #toji smut #toji fushiguro #toji fic #toji x reader #toji x you #toji one shot #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen toji #jjk toji #jjk oneshot #jjk smut

[half-oz-eddie]

The Straightest Guy In Hawkins

(Internalized) homophobia tw

"I'm gonna fuck so many bitches this summer." Billy bragged, as he lied on Steve's bed, tossing his baseball into the air.

"Uh huh..." Steve passively responded, continuing to work on their project.

"So many hot babes with big tits and—"

"Couldja shut up and help me with this project? God, You've been pissing me off lately."

"What'd you say? I'm pissing you off?!" Billy sprang up.

"Yeah. Ever since we went to your house to work on this stupid project and I saw that magazine, you've been going overboard to try and prove to me that you're super straight, the straightest guy in Hawkins." Steve rolled his eyes. "Y'know what? I don't care if you're straight, not straight, doesn't matter."

"Well I am straight." Billy pointlessly insisted.

"Good for you! I'm not, and I don't give a shit."

"You're...not?" Billy questioned in disbelief.

"No."

Billy chuckled in response. "Does daddy Harrington know you're a fa—"

"No!" Steve exclaimed. "He doesn't. And if I told him, I don't think he'd care. I don't think my parents even see me half the time, alright? So-so just drop it. Like I said, I don't give a shit if you like guys or girls or both or neither. I just wanna get this project done. We have 3 more days and a lot to do."

Silence filled the room. An uncomfortable, lonely silence. Billy froze. He wanted to speak up, be honest with Steve, but he knew being honest with Steve would lead to his haunting crush on him surfacing again.

"I'm...not." He blurted out. "I'm gay, actually."

Steve set down his pencil and turned his attention to Billy. "Does your dad know you're a—"

"No." He fearfully shook his head. "He'd kill me. Like...actually murder me. He already thinks I'm a failure. If he found out I was a gay failure, he'd probably beat me until I stopped moving."

"So...am I the only person who knows?"

Billy shrugged. "Aside from the 2 guys I've hooked up with."

"In Hawkins?"

"Nah, you're the only other queer I've met around here."

"There're others, trust me. You have options."

The silence returned again. Steve could sense that something was still troubling Billy.

"What is it? You worried I'll tell?"

"Not really...forget it. Let's finish the project."

"C'mon. Talk to me. You've already told me your deepest darkest secret, what could be worse than that?"

"The fact that there's...someone I like. But I can't see them because it runs the risk of my dad finding out."

"Who is it? I'll tell you if he's queer or not."

Billy gently shook his head.

"Is it Eddie? He's definitely queer, I know for a fact—"

"What?! No! ...Wait, you hooked up with Munson?" Billy wondered, shielding his jealousy.

"I—no, we...we kissed once at a party, during a drinking game, but there was tongue, and he was totally into it, so I'm pretty sure—"

"It's..." Billy sighed. "It's not him."

"Is it Jason?" Steve chuckled. "God, I hope not. That guy's probably straighter than you could ever pretend to be—"

"Not him either." Billy snapped. "Let's just finish the project, okay? I'm sorry for...pissing you off, or whatever."

Billy joined Steve at the table where they focused on nothing but the project.

"So I think...we just need to put a little more information in this paragraph so it's longer, and then we'll be done. Then we can type it up."

"Lemme see."

When Billy absentmindedly reached for the paper, his hand accidentally touched Steve's and he sharply pulled away.

"Sorry." He apologized.

Steve narrowed his eyes. "That's the second time you apologized to me."

"And?"

"And. You never apologize. What's up?"

Billy shook his head. "I'dunno what you're talkin' about."

"Billy—"

"Can it, Harrington. I'm trying to read this."

"You're not even looking at it!"

Billy slammed the paper down and stood suddenly, knocking the chair to the floor. "I'm going home."

"What?! You can't just leave, we didn't—"

"I'm tired of you questioning me. Now you're pissing me off."

Steve picked up the chair, watching disappointedly as Billy grabbed his jacket.

"I didn't mean to piss you off. I shouldn't have been pushing you so much about a touchy subject in the first place. It's my fault."

"It isn't."

"Huh?"

"I said it isn't!" Billy snapped. "See you tomorrow."

Steve slumped in his seat when he heard Billy's camaro skirt out of the driveway. Even though he apologized, he still wished he could do more for Billy.

The following day, Billy didn't even show up for school. Steve worried Billy was avoiding him completely, and began to worry about their incomplete project.

When he arrived home, Billy was already there, smoking a cigarette on his porch.

"Hope you're not ashing in my mom's rose bush." He said with a smile.

"Wouldn't dream of tainting Mrs. Harrington's precious roses." Billy sneered.

"Missed you at school today—well, I didn't mean like, I missed you, but—you were...you were missing."

"Had some shit on my mind, so I ditched today."

Steve opened his mouth to ask, but he knew that wouldn't be a smart idea. He'd probably just chase Billy off again.

"Ready to finish this project, then?"

Billy tossed his cigarette into the street. "Yeah, let's get it over with."

They finished the project in 40 minutes and Steve offered Billy a beer to celebrate.

"Think we're gonna get an A?"

"Pretty sure. We followed all the instructions to a T."

"Yeah. Yeah we did." Steve agreed.

"About yesterday, I'm—"

"No. Don't even bother trying to apologize. I'm the one who should be sorry."

"Oh yeah? For what?"

"I kept prodding into your business. I pushed you. I didn't mean to."

Billy shrugged. "'Kay, whatever."

"So, you accept my apology?"

"Will you cry if I don't?"

"Maybe." Steve answered with a pout.

Billy smiled. Not cynically, not mischievously, just...a smile. A pretty one, at that.

"Hey, listen. You wanna, like...hang out? Grab dinner, go to the movies, whatever?"

"You buying?"

"If I buy, it's a date."

"Then no." Billy declined. "Not interested."

"Not interested in a date?" Steve paused. "Or not interested in me?"

Billy leaned in, the once cute smile turning mischievous. "What makes you think you could pull a guy like me?"

Steve leaned in, but far closer. He licked his lips and smirked. "Wishful thinking, I guess." He half shrugged. "Hoping the guy you like could be me."

Billy bit his lip, his smile widening. He pulled Steve in by his collar and kissed him.

It was chaste and no words followed, but it spoke loudly enough to answer Steve's question.

"Pick me up tomorrow at 8. And don't let on that we're like...y'know. I don't need my dad to suspect anything."

"Don't worry. It'll be our little secret."

Steve stole another chaste kiss before Billy pulled away, leaving him hoping for more.

#harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #harringrove fanfiction #ivy.doc

[30-3am]

but like….. you’re home for the summer and james is over one night for a barbecue and asks your dad if he’s around the next day for a project….. he says he’s busy but you aren’t and can totally fill his place and help james out because you are your fathers daughter after all, he taught you well….

so it’s the next day you’re over at james place and the first few hours are good, productive, you may or may not find yourselves staring at each other, and then towards the end of the day you’re putting stuff away in james’ garage and you turn to see him looking HUNGRY…. and so you sass him a bit…. “like what you see??” and then he walks up really close,,, “i do. is that a problem?” and then you lead him on a little more…. “only a problem if you tell my dad….” and then his eyes get real dark and he drawls “i am so good at keeping secrets” before smashing his lips to yours.

your hands are under his shirt, he’s all sweaty, and when you catch a breath, you suggest a shower, and right there he picks you up, and says “well you’re my dirty girl…” and he takes you to the bathroom, turns on the water, and by the time you’re in the shower his hands are all over you. “my perfect little secret” and he eats you out… then you get out of the shower, and he fucks you right there on the bathroom counter, tattooed arms around you in the mirror, “i’m so lucky, my secret, all to myself”

AND THEN THE DOORBELL RINGS, james is pounding into you and ignores it, but then you hear the door shut and because they’re friends, YOUR DAD IS IN THE HOUSE, he’s asking for you but james is so far gone, he just drives home and finishes, then you two quickly get dressed and james runs out into the house, all casual, “yeah i was just letting her use my shower, she’ll be out in a second…”

your dad is none the wiser. james regularly suggests you come over for “projects”……

jesus fucking christ. this reminds me of 99' james (@superi0rityc0mplex is plaguing my mind with all the 99' james horny thots and i'm obsessed)

you haven't seen him in a very long time because he's never really home, being on tour all the time so when you saw him with his long hair and his big arms, you couldn't help but think some unorthodox thoughts. and he was the same with you.

you were all grown up now and very different from how he remembered you. you had definitely grown into yourself and when you went in for that awkward "haven't seen you in a long time" hug, he has to remain composed. cause you're so small in his arms and you smelt so fucking good.

the whole time he's around you he's so standoffish and doesn't really pay you much mind. he can't. because if he looks at you, the desire that would settle in his gut would be unbearable. to have you on your knees, small hands grabbing onto his thighs while he took your breath away with his harsh thrusts and big cock down your throat.

the first night he stayed over, he took himself in his fist, mind straying to you in those tight shorts and the way your thighs looked so full and pretty. he wanted them wrapped around his head while he tasted your sweet little pussy and before he could stop himself, he was cumming into his hand, the thought of you under him at the forefront of his mind.

and while he was going to clean up, he felt gross. more gross than he had in a while. you were a kid. he'd known you for a very long time and your dad would fucking kill him.

so when he sent you over to help him he could've murdered the man, why of all people would he send over you?

and, god, when you start getting all forward and brave he can't help but take you and fuck you. and when daddy dearest comes in he can hardly care. he could shout "i'm fucking your daughter right now" and not give a shit. your pussy was so sweet and tight and your moans were so pretty and loud that he had to put a hand over your mouth to muffle the noise.

and he doesn't know what's gonna happen after but he knows he's fucked up.

angst ensues 😊

#alana's thoughts #metallica #james hetfield #james my beloved #metal #80s metal #james hetfield x reader #james hetfield smut #anon #ask #god i need unforbidden love with 99 james #i need it #gee i hate you why have you planted these seeds in my brain??????? #i need his beefy ass arms around me rn

[mattsobvimyfav]

For sport (Matthew Sturniolo & Chris Sturniolo)

Pt 4

A.n - hey yall so this is gonna be a very very very slow burn I already have some chapters written so I will probs rapid fire. But everything is based off very real things just swapped for Matthew. It will be toxic, there will be angst , smut , everything you can possibly think of. It happens.

—————————————————————————-

Y/N’s POV

I finished putting on the dress deciding it was perfect, simple yet pretty. I pick up my phone Facetiming Chris, I had his number from when we had to do our end of year project together last year. He picked up after a few rings while I set the phone up in the dressing room.

“Whats up Pickle!” He yelled, he was sitting in his kitchen.

“Hey Chris I just picked out my dress and wanted to show you” I smiled turning in a circle from him to see.”Damn Ma, you should just come over” I rolled my eyes giggling at Chris before the third brother Nick popped his head in frame. “Oh My God Y/N you look amazing” Nick yelled into the phone “Thank you Nick, you just confirmed me getting this dress!” I picked my phone up smiling “I literally just told you to come over here because you looked so good but Nick whos GAY, was your decding factor?!” I nodded “Yes because he isnt just looking at my body, hes telling the truth” Chris scoffed shrugging his shoulders knowing Im right. We bid our goodbyes telling Chris I would text him later as I changed back into my clothes.

Chris has always been a flirt so Ive never taken it serious its just how he was with alot of girls. I grabbed my dress walking out of the fitting room as Haylee met me at the cash register to check out. I grabbed a pair of black heels to go along with my dress.

Me and Haylee decided to stop at one more store before leaving because I needed more leggings even tho I owned a hundred pairs. You can never have too many. I asked Haylee to drop me home seeing as I did infact have homework and I knew I couldnt complete it with her there needed total concentration.

I got out of her car hugging her goodbye as I walk into my dads house who was still at work, I ran up to my room, pulling out my phone, and getting my music started so I could focus on my homework. I quickly took off my clothes changing into a sports bra and sweatpants. I sit down at my desk grabbing my books from my bag and snapchatting Matt.

Y/N-

Hey what part do you want to do?

I placed my phone down starting on my math work knowing it wouldnt take my long while I listened to my playlist. After about thirty minutes I pick up my phone to see a text from Matt.

Matt Sturniolo-

Ill do the second half if you do the first

Y/N-

Fine but Im checking your work to make sure its right.

Matt Sturniolo-

Fine, Chris wants to know if youll go to the football game with us friday

Y/N-

What about your girlfriend. She’ll kill me.

Matt Sturniolo-

We broke up this summer. Stop worrying about her.

I read the message maybe a hundred times. They broke up, now maybe Matt wouldnt be a miserable asshole because let me tell you when that girl was around it was like a dark storm cloud followed.

Y/N-

Yeah sure, just get the work done please.

He sent me back a thumbs up and i decided to leave him on read getting started on the rest of the work. After about two hours it was now six at night and I was getting a call from Chris.

“Hello Christopher.” I set my phone infront of my as I packed up my bag “Whats up good lookin” I went to speak again before I heard Matthew yell “I NEED SOME FUCKING FOOD” I started giggling at the boys and Chris looked at me “Wanna go get food we are starving.” I looked down at myself deciding I was just as hungry because my father still wasnt home. “Yeah do you guys wanna meet somewhere or do you want me to come there?” I asked as I stood up going to my closet “Well come and get you as long as I get to spend the night” Chris said, I shrugged my shoulders not really caring knowing it was all just flirting and nothing ever serious. “Yeah you can if you want and ill drive you to school” I grabbed a sweatshirt out of my closet throwing it on over my head “YES!” Chris yelled running from the other boys to his room “Ill pack a bag well be there in thirty” I didnt even have time to respond before he was hanging up.

I sent my dad a quick text letting him know my friend Chris would be staying the night. After quickly picking up my room and throwing one of my dads body washes and shampoos in my shower I heard a horn outside. I grabbed some money out of my dads stack of cash he has hidden for me when hes not home and ran down stairs out the door locking it before hoping in the back with Nick.

“Hellooooo, where are we going to eat?” I asked buckling before Matt started driving.

“We want Ihop, if your down for breakfast” Nick asked looking up from his phone I nodded in response before I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket. Haylee was calling me.

“Where are you going?” She asked before I could even say anything “Im going to get food witht the triplets jesus” I get a little annoyed considering she does this quiet a bit when it comes to me having other friends “Why are you going with them?” It was like venom. She hated me making new friends and dont get me wrong I love her more than anything but sometimes she could be a little much. “Chris asked me too, whats wrong” I asked trying to see the real issue “Whatever, can i come over after?” I bit my bottom lip before answering knowing she would get mad at the answer “Chris is gonna sleepover ton-” before i could even finish my sentence the phone was disconnected. I rolled my eyes.

“Who was that a secret boyfriend?” Chris says turning in his seat raising his eyebrows I looked up at him seeing Matt studying me in the rearview “It was Haylee..” I trailed off “Jesus christ she was acting like she owns you” I nodded not wanting to talk about it anymore “What football game is this we are going to friday?” I asked changing the subject “Its that kennedy school, its about a hour drive” Matt finally spoke “Okay, can we take my car and you drive?” I ask Matt leaning forward “Yes, but why dont you want to take our car?” I looked around at the smelly boys gear from football rolling my eyes “Your stuff smells and I get aux instead of chris” Chris whips his head back at me “Woah that was not apart of the deal” I looked up at him through my eyelashes “Please” He turned forward in his seat “Dont start something you cant finish pickle” Matt almost immediately hit him in the chest and Nick started laughing as I did too.

We finished eating after talking for a while and got back into the car, Nick sitting in the front so Chris could just hop out with me. We finally got back to my house as we said our goodbyes. We walked in and my dad was on the couch on his computer. “Hey baked, How was the today?” I ran in giving him a hug “It was good, Dad this is Chris hes gonna spend the night” My dad stood up towaring over me as he shook chris’ hand “Jimmy’s boy right?” Chris nodded taking in my dads appearance “Tell him I said hello and to call me to go golfing soon” I smiled at my dad being nice to Chris, I could see his face calm down “I will its nice to meet you sir” Chris said as my dad told us to not be up to late.

“Woah nice room” Chris said setting his bag down looking around. I took pride in my room really taking that ‘clean girl’ aesthetic to a whole new level. “Thanks, if you wanna shower or anything the bathrooms right there, I put in some products for you” I smiled at him as I looked through my drawers for a comfy outfit. I grabbed out a pair of shorts and a crop top. “Im going to shower” I said to chris he looked up from his phone to give me a nod before I walked into my bathroom.

I quickly took a shower washing my hair and body, no need for an everything shower seeing as I did one yesterday I put on my pajamas and my hair in the towel before walking out seeing chris changed into a pair of blue plaid pajama pants and a wife beater. I sat down at my vanity and started brushing my hair “Wanna make tiktoks?” Chris asked and I nodded “Wait what is your tiktok” I said opening tiktok on my phone. I type in his user “Chris what the fuck” I say looking up at him “WHAT?” He half yells “Why do you have 60k on tiktok?” He laughs “Me, Matt and Nick blew up like last year” he followed me back before deciding which tiktok we were gonna make a minute long music video switching back and forth filming. He made me put on a sweatshirt because I guess his “fans” were wicked rude when he had alanah in a video and said theyd hate on me for not being ‘covered’ around him. “That has to be the DUMBEST shit ive ever heard” he agreed but ultimatly decided it was for the better. We decided on the song paper soldier by Brent Faiyaz, me videoing Chris singing ‘im trying to threeway with her roomie’ I than handed the phone to him and said ‘hey roomie’ and we decided we would just dance the last part of the song out.

After twenty minutes of the tiktok being posted, my following was going up and I got a text from Haylee.

Haylee-

Nice tiktok.

I sighed reading her message as Chris read it over my shoulder “Yo, shes kinda crazy…” I shrugged knowing he wasnt wrong “Chris tell me the tea of what happened with Matt and Psycho!” He giggled at me calling her that “He finally broke up with her at the beginning of summer, and thank god he did we were all sick of her” I laughed at him hating her so much. “We should hang out more” Chris said and I agreed I had alot of fun with him. I looked down at the time and it was almost one in the morning “Oh my god Chris we need to go to bed” I quickly got up turning off the lights sliding under the covers with chris “You need to wake me up, I have to shower in the morning” I nodded at chris as I rolled on my side with my back to chris as he laid on his stomach and we both drifted off to sleep.

I woke up the next morning rocking Chris to get up and shower, he had wrapped his legs in mine and he was like a weight. “CHRIS GET UP” I finally yelled as he got up quickly rubbing his eyes without a word he walked into my bathroom closing the door. I giggled at him before getting up and changing, I put on grey flare legging with a white cropped tank top and cropped light pink zip up a little unzipped. “CHRIS LET ME IN I NEED TO BRUSH MY TEETH” I said clipping my necklace into place. He opened the door with just a towel hangning loosely around his waist and I couldnt help but look down. He grabbed my chin pulling my face back up “Eyes up here sweetheart” I rolled my eyes pushing past him closing the door so he had privacy to change. I threw my hair into a messy bun before knocking to make sure Chirs was dressed. “Ready?” I asked opening the door. “Yeah im leaving this here” He said pointing to the duffle bag while he grabbed his regular school bag. We headed out to my car and I allowed Chris to have aux this one time.

Instead of parking next to Haylee this morning I decided to park next to the two remaining triplets knowing chris would want to see his brothers. “Good morningggg” Chris yelled getting into their car as Matt waved for me to get in with him. “How was your night with him?” Matt asked laughing “We had fun all three of you should stay next time” Nick quickly agreed while Matt just nodded. Matt turned the car off “Come on Y/N I’ll walk you to your first class” Matt said walking next to me. I smiled up at him as he opened the door for me, But every good thing must come to an end because the first thing we see as we walk into the school, staring us down in the middle of the hall, is Lindsey.

Tag -

@worldlxvlys

[morganofthewildfire]

________________________________________________________

Light of Love

________________________________________________________

guys i wrote!

~ 900 words

CW: mentions of drug use, mentions of kidnapping

________________________________________________________

It was around 3 in the morning when a familiar knock rapped at his window. 

Rowan was awake in an instant, a sigh escaping through his nose before he could even consciously comprehend what was going on. But he didn’t need to, this dance already so ingrained in his brain it was just muscle memory as he rolled out of bed, throwing on the glasses he never wore apart from times like this, before dragging his feet over to the window.

A familiar head of blonde hair was already peering at him through the glass, and he didn’t even need to look into her eyes to know she was high. But he did anyway, and like always, mourned the sight of that beautiful blue being swallowed up by that unforgiving black.

“You’re the best, Ro,” Aelin Galathynius said as he unlocked the window and pushed it up to let her in. Like always. Her words were slurred, and she was unsteady as she clung to him, smiling up at him with that wide smile of hers. “I’d go home, but, you know.”

She said it every time, and yeah, he did know. 

Rhoe and Evalin Galathynius were the definition of overprotective. If they even smelled a whiff of alcohol on her breath, or gods forbid, the drugs she did at least once a week, she would be grounded before she could finish saying I can explain. 

So…she crashed here. 

Rowan had only known Aelin for a few years, after having moved to Orynth for high school when his dad died. His mom worked nights at the hospital, so it was usually just him there. A perfect place for her to lay low. 

They’d met freshman year in English class, after an unfortunate partner project that had led to the friendship they had now. 

Friendship. Yeah.

Because that’s what they were. Friends. 

Rowan thought it was a little more than friendly as she clung to him when he shut the window and locked it again, as she didn’t let go when he wandered back to his bed, just clambering in after him like she always did. Especially as she cuddled close under the covers, her body wrapped around his like a godsdamned koala bear.

He didn’t have the heart to push her away, nor did he really want to, but friends certainly didn’t act this way. 

Rowan just sighed through his nose again, taking his glasses back off and closing his eyes, settling in for what was quickly becoming a normal night for him. It’d started with the drinking, back in sophomore year. While Rowan had been studying for his AP exams, Aelin had been partying it up with kids way older than her, managing to somehow get perfect scores on all of her exams and still get into a fuck ton of trouble. 

Junior year, it’d escalated to the drugs. He’d freaked out the first time she’d showed up at his window, high as a kite, but just like now, he didn’t have the heart to turn her away. So began their new routine. 

It’d been only occasional that she’d get that bad, but now, senior year, she was coming over once a week. At least. 

Rowan knew why she did it. It wasn’t hard to guess. Even though he hadn’t even lived in the city at the time, he knew about what happened. 

Aelin Galathynius, daughter of two wealthy, politically connected parents. Kidnapped and held for nearly two weeks at eleven years old. For the ransom, for the connections, no one knew except for the people closely involved.

Rowan hadn’t asked her, and he wasn’t going to. He didn’t know what had happened to her in those two weeks, but he knew it was probably something that she was trying real hard to forget. 

That’s why he didn’t bug her about it. That’s why he just unlocked the window and let her in. That’s why he let her cuddle close to him at night, liking how safe he made her feel in his arms. 

It was too late to save her back then, but he could do the best he could now. 

“I fucked up, didn’t I?” Aelin said a few minutes later, after he thought she’d already fallen asleep. He cracked his eyes open, looking down at her. Her eyes were closed, but her face looked aware - and sad. 

He didn’t answer at first, contemplating what to say. She’d told him last week that she was going to quit. But he didn’t believe her. She’d said that before, and she’d say it again. It was just the way of it.

Yeah, he wanted her to quit. He wanted her to be healthy and safe and not in need of something to dull the pain he knew was constantly flaring inside of her. But she needed to want it too.

“I’m just glad you’re here,” was what he settled on, and he felt more than heard her little sigh against the bare skin of his chest. Moments later, she was asleep, leaving him alone in the dark. 

Rowan didn’t know what to do anymore, what to do with her. But that wasn’t something he could figure out now. So he just pulled her close, letting her head rest on his chest as he closed his eyes and waited for the morning light.

------

@wordsafterhours

@romancinghollywood

@superspiritfestival

@wishfulimaginings

@larisssss

@punkassbookjockey26

@shyvioletcat

@aelinchocolatelover

@s-uppertime

@leiawritesstories

@elentiyawhitethorn

@backtobl4ck

@goddess-aelin

@fromthelibraryofemilyj

@justreadertings

@rowaelinismyotp

@live-the-fangirl-life

@swankii-art-teacher

@tomtenadia

@highqueenofelfhame

@firestarsandseneschals

@thegreyj

@mariamuses

@house-of-galathynius

@rowanaelinn

@llyncooljones

@story-scribbler

@charlizeed

@bookcide

@elizarikaallen

@slytherhys

@booknerdproblems

@earthtolinds

@rowaelinrambling

@courtofjurdan

@peppermint-fae

#rowaelin #rowaelin fanfiction #rowaelin au #throne of glass #throne of glass fanfiction #throne of glass au #light of love

[ursafootprints]

*eagerly holds up microphone ;D

1, 3, 12, 13, 17, 22, 24, 26, 27, 29, 30

Sldkfjsdf 💖💖💖 THANK YOU FRIEND you're the sean evans to my weeping-while-answering-questions interviewee

1, 12, 24 have all been answered!

3. What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer? Oh, gosh. That I can finish something longer than five chapters? That banking all my oneshot ideas is a great way to focus on a main project but means I will be extremely scattered from having too many WIPs in the aftermath? I feel like I'm much less thoughtful/self-aware about this kind of stuff than a lot of other authors, lmao.

13. What fic was the easiest to write? Cheating because it was by far the shortest, but it happens here every day (and its soon-to-be-posted Part 2, as they were actually originally written as a one-shot, haha.) I finished each scene in one sitting of CLAMP-fuelled brainworms.

For the ones that are on more equal ground wordcount-wise, Pyrite was the easiest! I had a pretty solid idea of what I wanted out of it and didn't struggle overly much with any of the individual elements.

17. What were your go-to writing snacks? Salt & vinegar chips are my favorite snack, but I don't snack while I write! I don't wanna get chipfingers on my keyboard.

22. Share an excerpt from your favorite scene I can't actually pick a favorite from the last two chapters of YNYD (Peter's talks with May? Tony and Peter's final date night before Peter moves for MIT?? the final scene?!), so instead, from Pyrite:

"I accepted that I had no fucking clue what Dad would let you get away with all the way back when you were three and I didn't revert to being an only child after you drew all over his Shelby Cobra with a screwdriver," he said, rolling his eyes at the memory. It's not like he'd at all wanted his baby brother to get slapped into next Tuesday, but— "For all I know you could blow Norman Osborn right in front of him and he'd just compliment your technique." "Tony!" Peter squawked with a peal of horrified laughter, twisting up out of Tony's lap to shove at his shoulder in protest. "'Hmm, excellent work, son,'" Tony intoned in a well-practiced imitation of their father, catching Peter's wrists. "'See how he's working the shaft, Anthony? Now this is how a worthy Stark successor sucks cock.'" "Oh my god," Peter wailed as he struggled against Tony's grip to try and shut him up, beet red and laughing.

Despite being wholly inappropriate, Tony was actually just being a big brother rather than trying to flirt with Peter here, and so this part actually struck me as being weirdly charming as a look into what their sibling relationship could've been like if not for… everything.

26. If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year? Oh finishing YNYD for sure. I've never written anything near that long or complex before (my next-longest work is only 37k vs YNYD's 166k,) much less finished it, and it felt like a massive accomplishment.

If we're talking something more specific to the writing process, coming up with the idea of using Hanahaki as the premise for the wicked love sequel was also super satisfying! I was pretty content with the idea of just letting the first part stand alone as a full-on tragedy, but I did keep rolling the idea of "but what would their relationship look like after that" around in my mind just out of sheer fascination with it.

I didn't think my answer at the time ("they'd get therapy but Tony wouldn't really ever open up to talk about it and things would never really be the same I guess???") would be that interesting to write or read, but landing on "Tony would be forced to talk about it because his son got Hanahaki" was immediately exciting!

27. Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic? I live in a constant state of buying myself a little treat, so I probably did that, but otherwise not really actually!

29. If this were an awards show, who would you thank? Lolll oh god. You and @shivanessa for sure for all the lovely gifts and for being such thoughtful and supportive readers and friends, my sibling for listening to me ramble about my fics, Rome for letting me bounce ideas off of them and being a wonderful friend and cheerleader, allllllll of my regular commenters…!! You guys are what makes being in fandom so fun 💖💖💖

30. What’s something that you want to write in 2024? Lmaoooooooooo

People were sharing their WIPs lists in the Super Starkers server a while back so I threw one together and, well…

…We'll see what happens!!

#ursa asks #ask games #liliaaa 💖💖💖

[c-alliumduo-appologist]

Well I left the dump fandom and long while ago so i wanted to post an old wip fic. It was such a passion project but I never finished it because of technos death so I'll leave it here (and it's concept notes).

!! Wilburs mentioned a few times so don't be alarmed this was from like 2022, I promise I don't support that twat !!

--

The roaring sound of the crowd was something Techno never got used to.

They were always too loud.

That combined with the curse of his crown the voices of 100,000 people constantly yelling around him, always led to migraines that would last for days.

Yet he continues to fight in the arenas when he's invited.

He has too, it's the only thing that calms the voices.

It keeps him away from his family, he hates that. He wants so bad to stay in the castle and listen to Wilbur play his latest song, or watch Dad write in his study. Let Mom tell him stories like when he was little. He prays for the day he has perfect silence, because that's the day he can look at his little brother and not feel shame. The voices hurt Tommy and now Tommy hates him. Tommy's only 10 he doesn't need to know about the voices, it's already confusing enough for him to wonder why his brother held a sword to his throat after he asked to play.

Techno hates himself for it, he wants things to be different. He wants to be a good brother, because he loves Tommy. He really does.

"BLOOD GOD TECHNOBLADE! TODAY IS THE DAY YOU FALL FROM YOUR PEDESTAL!" The crowd screams, they seem to really favor the new guy lately. He hopes they aren't getting tired of him, that would be bad for his name. "Sure, like I'm gonna lose to a homeless man." He's sure if the guy wasn't wearing a mask he would've seen his eye twitch. "I'm NOT homeless." Techno just laughs. "Wow! So you think homeless are bad? Cancel this man, get him out of here." The new guy started studdering trying to defend himself Techno assumes to stay in public favor.

"What, no! I didn't say that, you're putting words in my mouth." Techno would've responded but his thoughts were cut short by the announcer.

"All right! Our match today is the All Mighty Blood God verses, our newest fight who's been quickly rising up the ranks.. Dream Wastaken!"

Techno blinks almost dumbfounded, "Wastaken? What kind of title is that? It sounds dumb."

Techno must have struck a nerve with that remark, Dream suddenly went still and took his position.

"I'll have your head Blood God," he could see a green glow from under his mask.

"HA, like hell you will"

The announcer signals the start and Techno lets himself go and all he sees is red.

Dream raises his sword and stabs towards Technos abdomen. Techno takes his axe and swings to hit the blade away. He ends up hitting the handle of the sword cutting deep into Dreams hands

Dream staggers back dropping his sword and clutching his hands. He inhales sharply the audience collectively gasps.

---

Yeah not much writen ik but here's the plans I had written in my drafts, it's so nostalgic to reread.

it starts out as Sbi + Mumza but techno and tommy get separated from Phil, Kristen, and Wilbur

(Wilbur is 17, Techno is 15 so hes less than wilbur because fuck you, and Tommy is 11)

So it's parentsduo + Wilbur and then also Bedrock bros, eventually they fins their way back to eachother. Techno and Tommy used to have this kinda tense relationship, they both cared alot about each other but Tommy always got along with Wilbur more. (Techno wasnt jealous of that, not at all.) but they just thought the other disliked them, and it's bothered them for years and now it's time for Techno to be cool and strong big brother for tommy. Being there for when he has nightmares to tell him stories, or reminding him that they WILL find the rest if their family. Running from zombies with the only weapons you have being swords and bows is a little bit difficult. but he does have one thing, his axe that was gifted to him by a neighboring kingdoms prince. To replace the one that was ruined in a duel he participated in on their behalf. Which they may or may not run into that prince and his betrothed (also his son?!?!?!?)along the way... Wilbur misses his brothers every single day, no matter how much his parents try to comfort him that they will be okay and that Techno is capable. He just can't shake the feeling that at every waking moment that he's not looking for them. They're getting hurt. He wishes it was him and Techno that got separated, cause then atleast Tommy would be with phil and Kristen. He wouldn't need to worry about his brother. He knows Techno will protect Tommy with his life.. but that's what he's worried about. If Techno dies protecting Tommy then what happens after? Tommy is left wandering untill inevitably hes... So he hopes Techno doesn't have to do soemthing that wreckless Because if he does, he'll lose BOTH of his brothers. and personally he'd rather not have that become a reality."

#dsmp #tommyinnit #technoblade #philza minecraft #uhhh #idk how to tag this #wip fic #zombie #zombie apocolypse au #royalty au #old fic #abandoned #slay

[emilyrox]

ouat for the ask game?

OUAT!!!

Favorite Male: Killian Jones. There's no contest. Just Killian.

Favorite Female: Emma Swan. There's no contest. Just Emma.

Favorite Pairing: Ok I'm gonna list both my favorite main pairing and favorite side pairing.

Favorite Main Pairing: Captain Swan. You all knew this was gonna be my answer don't lie. Finally watched the Captain Swan wedding for real and it is the best thing ever. Also started season 7 officially and THEY'RE HAVING A BABY!

Favorite Side Pairing: Mr. Hyde x Mary Lydgate (I don't know what the ship name is someone plz help). Gonna be honest I don't exactly know why I think about them as much as I do. Maybe it's because Hyde is also a favorite, or because of their dynamic in general, or because I wish we saw more of them, but I just think about them a lot and what they meant to each other. I'm attached to a pairing that was together for ONE episode??? It's more likely than you think.

Least Favorite Character: uhhhhhhhhhhhh I got a few

Fiona "The Black Fairy". I did not like her. Yeah she's a villain so she's meant to be rooted against but other villains in the show are at least ENTERTAINING. Regina was an entertaining villain (and the og). Zelena was fucking hilarious (and still is as a hero I'm glad they kept that part of her). Cruella de Vil is a cruel dog murderer but I was always interested when she was on screen. But Fiona? She was just a bitch, and not an enjoyable one. I just wanted someone to finally end her. Was so satisfied when Rumple killed her for good.

Mother Superior/"The Blue Fairy". Just because I don't like Fiona and she and Blue were foils doesn't mean I like the Blue Fairy. I agree with the rest of the fandom that she was shady as fuck. She does some good things but also a lot of rude and shady ones. The way she treated Tinkerbell was awful, and her overall "I art holier than thou" attitude was just unpleasant. I could never really tell if she actually wanted to help the heroes or not, which would have been an interesting thing to think about during the show if not for her over-the-top self-righteousness.

Rumplestiltskin (Season 4, Season 5B-Season 6A. Season 7 TBD). He has had many opportunities to redeem himself and be a good person, which he claims he wants to be, but over and over again he kept clinging to "muh power." He is entertaining as a villain overall, and I do like Rumbelle, but not when he is being borderline abusive and possessive of her. I specified specific seasons where I don't like him because those are where he fucks up the most imo. 5A could have been his perfect redemption arc, and he was finally free of the Dark One Curse, but he willingly chose to take that power back. Which makes his actions more irritating in 5B. 6A Rumple was god awful. However, I am glad that by 6B he got his shit together (most of the time) and ultimately did the right thing. *I will say that I enjoy Rumple the most when he is in full-on Dad mode. Which is part of why I like him again in 6B. He genuinely cares about his sons, and I believe him when he says he would do anything for them.* Rumple in Season 7 has yet to be determined as I have not finished it yet.

Who's Most Like Me: Ok imma be completely honest I don't actually know. I feel like my answer, if i have one, would just be me projecting myself onto the character and not actually looking at canon.

Most Attractive: Killian is the obvious choice but ngl more than half of the entire cast slays. The costume department is a big reason why. I agree with the idea that most of the budget went towards the costumes and honestly that is 100% valid of them to do.

Three More Characters I Like: Here ya go:

Elsa. Fuck y'all the Frozen arc was great and Elsa was great and she cares about Anna and Kristoff and becomes besties with Emma and doesn't understand talking phones with Killian and she's great and I may or may not have shipped her with Liam (the first) at one point even though there is literally no way that could ever happen but consider this: it'd be cute.

Zelena (Season 5B and onward. Season 7 TBD). I mentioned how she was a very entertaining villain but ngl I think she's even more entertaining when she's on the heroes' side. She still has 100% of her sass, it's just now directed at people who deserve it. Like Fiona for example :D. I also love when she and Regina work together and help each other. I also believe, like Rumple, that she genuinely cares about her daughter, and seeing her go mom-mode is great. Overall, I think she became a much more likeable and enjoyable character after 5A, and especially by mid 6A. Zelena in Season 7 has yet to be determined as I have not finished it yet.

Lily Page. So from what I've seen online I'm not the only one that was hoping to see more of her after Season 4, right? I thought she was an interesting character, and I'm happy she finally reunited with her mom, Maleficent. Lily being her daughter was a plot twist I don't think anyone expected, but I really liked it! I would have honestly loved to see an episode where Lily and Emma, and maybe a few others, go searching for Lily's dad. They introduced that arc for Lily in the Season 4 finale, but then it didn't go anywhere. (Ok so I have been spoiled that it's revealed in Season 7 at the very end but I wish we got more than that ngl). I like Lily, I just wish we got to see more of her.

#once upon a time #ouat #killian jones #emma swan #mr. hyde #mr. hyde ouat #mary lydgate #the black fairy #the blue fairy #rumplestiltskin #elsa #elsa ouat #zelena mills #lily page #asks #ask game #ask away my dudes

[summerlycoris]

Okay so I'm putting this here because Dad really fucking pissed me off today and If I don't write something I'll just-

So I was helping him to put in a veranda and ramp on the front of my house today. Work projects with Dad would be difficult, but not misery, if he could just. Fucking. Not be a dick for 5 seconds.

Unfortunately my dad has "must be a dick every 5 seconds " disease so that's never fucking happening lmao lol roflmao.

Anyway. He was ragging out my brothers girlfriend Rochelle. And yeah. She's got problems. Neither of us can see the relationship lasting. (Rochelle's nice, but not to brodie. She let's her anxiety get the best of her, and constantly embarrasses him in front of their friends making out of line jokes, and emotionally abusing him.)

Dad thinks the reason they're not going to last is that Rochelle is on disability and is "a leech" "She's going nowhere." He used himself (hes not fucking diagnosed. And normally im all for self diagnosis. But not for this cuntwad. I WILL gatekeep from my damn dad because fuck him thats why.) me and my brother as examples of disabled people who don't need help.

And that ticked me off. Because I do need help. I just don't get help. Brodie needs help too. He just can't get it. Hell, maybe if dad had help as a kid he wouldn't have been such a bastard when we were kids. (He's fucked up 2/3 kids. Bad odds when your a parent. And he's still got plenty of time to fuck up the 3rd kid! SHES ONLY 4 YEARS OLD.)

I can't remember exactly, but I try to tell him that my life wasn't great and that I could've used some help. He asks how my life sucked so bad.

And I'm just fucking gobsmacked. Mum did this too recently- despite literally being the one to say that she thought I was gonna off myself at 11 years old years ago. Do these two not have any fucking memories?

I told him I'd been bullied all through school. (Couldn't exactly tell him he'd treated me like dirt whenever he was home) and he was like "well you're living a better life than your bullies. I bet they don't own a house."

I got so fucking angry. And I couldn't explain it at the time. But I can now- it doesn't matter what YOU think. Or what Mum thinks. Or what the fucking goldfish think. You don't live my life! And my opinions the one that matters, because im the one living that life. And I think my life's kinda shit!

I can't make friends. Not because I'm necessarily bad at talking to people (I can mask better now than I ever could as a kid) but because I just can't feel the same way about talking to people as I could as a kid. Like this may not make any sense- but when I was a kid before everything? I liked talking to people. It wasn't a chore. I didn't have to overanalise everything. But now it is. I quickly finish up talking to people thinking something like "Thank god that's over" or "Thank god that didn't go badly" and it's so. Fucking. Tiring.

So I'm gonna be alone forever. Not because of some incel bullshit. But just because I literally can't do it. I just can't fucking do it right. I can't go back to being 8 and being excited to meet someone new. I can't even go back to being 19 and bring willing to try making friends.

I'm 28. And I've spent most of my life being lonely.

And he's like- you've got the autism support group- but we meet once a month and I sometimes can't even MAKE it due to work and there's acquaintances. I don't even know most of their NAMES.

And it all just sent me into a tailspin honestly. Like the day was okay until he decided to be himself and trod over some exposed nerves. Then run his fucking jeep over them for good measure.

He's like "your like van goth" and I'm like "he killed himself" and he says "but you won't do rhat" and honestly dad? There's still fucking time. Better 17 years late than never huh????

Fuck, I needed to get that off my chest. I can't stand him. I really can't. But I kinda have to because I want to still know mum and nikara.

It's just amazing how he can just. Always find a way to ruin my day. Today was supposed to be good. It's autism group meet up night. I'm supposed to take Rochelle and one of brodies friends there. But I think if I go tonight I'll just be a miseryguts and cry everywhere. And I've got a surprise work shift tomorrow from 7-3pm. And then my fucking On Week at work. Despite not really having much time off from it and work doing a number on me even during my fucking off week this week. It's just not worth going oh my fucking God I hate this.

#summerly talks

[chironshorseass]

oh you already KNOW i need more info on starsick, a pearl, and estelle!!!!

Estelle is the third and last chapter of the seaweed is always greener that i never planned to finish bc i have better plans for miss estelle. BUT i’ll post what i have here😈

Yes, the gods were nervous about her. Yes, she should’ve felt a tad unnerved by that. But instead, she felt good about it.

Annabeth was the one to confirm Poseidon’s departing comment, since she daily stopped by the gods’ Almighty Home because she was yet to finish her “Rebuilding Olympus” project.

“Ohhh they interrogated me for like an hour. An hour!” she said, placing her bag on the dining table.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. About six months ago, actually.” Then she noticed Estelle’s expression. “I didn’t want to tell you because you know what they say: ‘ignorance is bliss’—especially when it comes to the gods. But apparently Poseidon told you anyway. Typical.”

“And what did the gods say?”

“It was so funny,” she said, still on a roll. She looked at Percy. “You should’ve been there, babe.”

“To witness petty immortals say petty shit about my sister?” Percy said, leaning against his chair. “No thanks.”

Annabeth addressed Estelle this time. “Basically they were panicking because they’d just realized that you were Poseidon’s daughter. Also my mom sensed something off about you. I don’t know what exactly, but she said something along the lines of, ‘watch her; I sense that she’s just as bad as your husband and blah blah blah.’”

Percy snorted.

“So are the gods going to…?” Estelle left the question unanswered, lingering in the air.

“If they so much as touch you,” Percy said, “then I’ll whoop their asses,”

“Not to mention that they’d have to go through me first,” Annabeth said.

“Oh, yeah,” her brother agreed. “And me, obviously.”

“Okay.”

Percy peered at her questioningly. “Okay? Stella, the gods are watching you. Doesn’t that make you…a teeny bit nervous?”

“Eh, let them watch.”

She went into the kitchen and grabbed a spare cookie from the Cookie Jar, shoving it in her mouth. She was nervous, sure, but most of all, she was hungry. Percy and Annabeth could only stare, incredulous.

“Just don’t tell Mom,” she said, between mouthfuls of butter and sugar and chocolate.

“She already knows,” Percy said. “What? Nuh-Uh, don’t give me that look. Mom knows everything.” Then he muttered, “She probably got that information from Dad, anyway. ‘Cause now they’re free to fuck whenever they want to.”

Annabeth slapped his arm.

“Hey! What was that for?” he cried, rubbing a hand across his arm.

“Stella is scarred enough as it is!” Annabeth said, glaring at him.

She sighed, Thank you,” mouth full of cookie.

Percy was right, unfortunately.

In the last month after Sally had broken the news about her divorce, Paul had packed up his leftover possessions and said his goodbyes with one last kiss on her forehead (she hadn’t even noticed this, but apparently most of his things were already in his new home?). And as if that weren’t enough, Estelle saw Poseidon all the time.

He’d waltz into the apartment as if he’d been coming here for years with her giggling mother in tow. This occurred during the evenings, especially. She made sure to hide in her room and not come out. Though sometimes, he stayed for breakfast, which was...strange. Especially since he liked to indulge her in small talk.

“No godly talk, though,” he’d say. “I like to keep these comings and goings as private as possible.” He’d add as an afterthought the, “Names are powerful” bullshit that everyone mentioned.

But in reality, she could tell that her dad was just lazy and too busy ogling at her mom to answer any of the “godly” questions reserved just for those days.

Gods, her parents were gross.

Don’t get her wrong: she loved seeing her mom happy. Really, she did. But with a god? With the Sea God? No thank you.

She blinked a few times, returning to the present; her brain loved to remind her that there were still cookies that needed to be eaten.

The chocolate made little squishy noises as she said, “Anyhow, when’re you taking me to see the Big and Cool kingdom of Atlantis, Perce?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Getting confident, are we?”

“Dad said you’d take me,” she shrugged.

Annabeth leaned against the kitchen counter and hid a smile behind her mouth, studying the two of them. Percy especially.

“That’s another thing! It’s not fair! He never invited me to his palace until much later. In fact, the first time I went, I was, um...how do I put it? Ah, yes. Dying.”

Estelle stuck her tongue out at him. “Quit being a jealous clown. Now you’re taking me. And I’m going to camp, too. Just so you know.”

“I’m not taking you because you called me a clown.”

“Fine. Baby. You’re a baby.”

Percy’s mouth fell open in offense.

“You are a baby,” Annabeth acknowledged.

“Oh, not you, too—”

“See?” Estelle said. “Annabeth agrees! And you’re taking me.”

No one could convince her otherwise.

-

She was staying at Annabeth and Percy’s place, finishing off a project that was due tomorrow, when her brother broke the news.

“So...I think it’s time I taught you how to use your powers properly.”

Her writing hand stopped moving. “Wait, seriously?”

“Stell-Stell is gonna use sea powers?” Cassie called out from her spot on the floor.

For the past hour, the four-year-old had been creating a giant tower with some legos, the background Mozart music a proper stimulator—at least that’s what Annabeth affirmed.

“That’s right, minnow,” Percy told her daughter. Estelle, meanwhile, watched him raptly. He must’ve sensed her eyes on him, because he turned to look at her when he then said, “Stell-Stell is nearly done with school, and Mama Sally promised her she’d attend my special camp in about two weeks. So. She needs to prepare.”

Cassie giggled. “I want powers like Stell-Stell!”

“I still can’t believe that she is four and already knows about the demigod world,” Estelle deadpanned. “And I’ve just figured it out.”

“Cassie”—Percy pointed at her daughter with his index finger—“is a legacy.” Then he pointed said finger towards her. “You’re a demigod. Which means you’re entire existence is dangerous as hell.”

Cassie just flashed her a smile and continued doing her weird prodigy-architect activity. Estelle wanted to argue that he’d also recently figured out the whole Sally Jackson-had-another-child-with-Poseidon spectacle, but she kept her mouth shut. Fighting with her brother in front of Cassie always led to no good.

“So,” Estelle said instead. “Mom told you about camp, then.”

“How could she not? You’ve begged us for these past months about it, so obviously she told me once you finally convinced her.”

She shrugged. “I’m twelve. What twelve-year-old doesn’t want to go to a magical camp?”

“It’s all fun and games until Rachel arrives with some Great Prophecy,” he grumbled.

“Then don’t jinx it. And anyway, you were twelve, too, when you became a camper.”

“Yeah, because I had no choice and Mom was trapped by the Minotaur, and then I had to go on a quest.”

She was greatly tempted to roll her eyes.

“But,” Percy said, standing up. “I guess you’re going now, and so you’re gonna have to control those powers properly if you don’t want kids dying on your watch.”

“Dying?” she squeaked.

He snorted, probably enjoying how wide-eyed and mortified she looked. “Children of Zeus are especially annoying.”

-

They spent the rest of the afternoon next to Percy’s bathtub. He taught her the basics, and then some more. Like how to shapeshift water, how to make it move exactly as you want it to. How to make whirlpools, how to stay dry, and even how to make tiny hurricanes.

Estelle had to admit, it was harder than it looked. The hurricane thing needed more practice on her part, but for most of the tricks Percy taught her, she managed to do fine, even if it took her a few tries.

“Most of this comes naturally to children of Poseidon, I s’pose,” he told her. “Not that I know a lot of demigod children of Poseidon, but, y’know…it came to me naturally. But then again, it came to me after plenty of experience as a demigod hero. I would’ve liked for someone to have taught me all this.”

To her, Percy sounded bitter, tired. Which wasn’t unusual—especially when he mentioned his demigod life.

It made her contemplate, because, was camp actually worth it? It’s worth it if you don’t do what the gods say, a little voice in her mind butted in.

“Hey,” she nudged him. “Thanks for helping me. That way, in about a month, I'll beat you in the power category.”

Instead of responding with some witty remark, her brother smiled and ruffled her curls. “I don’t doubt it, Starfish. Now. About anger issues. You have them, too—and I speak from experience.”

She huffed at that, but still listened to what he had to say.

Concentration and breathing were key. And also she realized that she always felt her power in her gut. The gut is also the key.

It wasn’t long until Annabeth opened the bathroom door. Well, maybe they had been in the bathroom for a long period of time (Annabeth arrived from work at around seven PM), but Estelle had barely even noticed the clock ticking away at the hours.

The siblings turned to the sound of the door closing. Annabeth stood in her fancy heels, arms crossed over her chest and eyebrows raised. Her eyes swept across the floor, lingering on the puddles and the dripping toilet.

“I take it you two were going to clean that up?”

Estelle and Percy looked at one another, then at Annabeth. “Duh,” they said in unison.

Annabeth rolled her eyes and leaned against the wall next to the door. She didn’t seem to want to leave anytime soon.

“I see you were teaching Stella, babe,” she said. Then she winked at Estelle. “Heard that you’re going to camp.”

She sighed. “I am officially resigned to the fact that Mom told everyone.”

Annabeth’s red lips widened, showing off her teeth. “Well. I guess Percy isn’t an exception; I suppose that a common trait for children of Poseidon is dramatism.”

“Come on, aren’t you going to dive in?”

“Of course I will.”

“Then come on.”

Her body hummed with anticipation—like when the first drop of rain came in the heat of July.

How bad can it be?

And with that, she jumped.

#i’ll post starsick separately bc it’s a one shot i never finished….aaand a pearl is a part of a secret #* a secret an oath and a promise #it’s the chapter i need to finish </3 #happy slappy😛 #look mom i can write #estelle jackson

[hideyseek]

11.03.2022

wow one family eating dinner can contain SO MUCH RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS i fucking hope we will see if this scene works the way i want it to work

but wow the combo of: low word count for me + knowledge that i simply do not ever have to finish writing the scene i start that day (bc i now also trust myself to pick up the project later since by necessity that’s happened so much with narrative!fic already) + having done so much metawriting + knowing i don’t need to know the whole fic arc just this first arc (which lol do i even know this first arc i am making up scenes as i go haha)

anyway all that? SO FREEING. i’m writing better than i possibly have ever written because i guess i have enough scaffolding to know what my goals are in a scene and then i just write until i do those things?? and also another big change is when i write i’m … actually stopping to like, talk aloud to myself about the structure and whether taking one path or another from a moment in a scene will get me where i want.

i think before i’d somehow internalized that the only way i could figure these things out was by writing through them (which truly, there ARE some things i only discover when i write them, for example: the specific kind of shitty dad that haiji has) but actually at least for this fic i have a strong enough sense of what i need to layer in at least in these first scenes, that figuring some of these things out at the zoomed out level is possible! relief, haha. it is exhausting to consider writing like 50k of draft material just to get to 5 or 10k of drafted material that is what i want, i think that’s why all my previous attempts to start drafting this have gone so poorly. i did like 20k in april and i don’t know if literally any of that, even the ideas, will make it in the final version or even this more recent first draft.

but thinking in arcs helps. thank god. honestly it was good of me to watch anime because now i can kind of think in seasons for this fic which i never really could do before. so, thanks bungo stray dogs.

but like. dare i fucking admit, writing is fun???? right now? a fun and enjoyable exercise? something about the task being “ok spend 20min writing ur 250 for the day” means i end up spending three hours writing like 400 words with actual like … layers and connections beyond just transitions between two scenes? well again, i hope it’s happening. i think it is but honestly i am not a very strong reader. i will just be relying heavily on my betas … lol sometime in the next two years.

#anyway all i do is leave work #fuck around for some time #go: oh i need to write still maybe that can be the next hour #resurface at 9pm and go: oh my god my dinner #and then show up here and write absolutely unfiltered nonsense because i like to Keep Records lol #kind of nice to have a long-term outside-of-work task that i completely control the pace of tho #hidey does nano 2022 #narrative!fic

[this-is-fox-speaking]

tw parental death. just my own thoughts and feelings on my own recent loss, super long post.

my dads always given me mixed feelings. you can imagine how much worse it got after he died.

when he was alive, he was horrible to my mother. he had the worst anger issues, and was a raging narcissist, my mother says. i’m not sure what a narcissist looks like, but he probably fits the bill. my mother was a brave and strong woman, taking the worst of his anger issues behind closed doors and away from us. the most me and my brother ever saw was loud arguments and my father getting mad over the smallest shit. i never even knew the worst of it until years later after the divorce.

he makes me angry. i fucking hate him for what he’s done to my mother. i hate that he would vent to anyone who would listen but would still create more and more problems for himself, not listening to anyone but forcing anyone to listen to his issues that he fucking refused to fix. he was the worst man in my life. sure, he didn’t murder, my mother wasn’t perfect, what-fucking-ever. but he was fucking god awful. and i’m glad he’s dead.

but i’m only glad that side of him is dead.

the father i had, i can barely remember. he was always gone and whenever he was home, he’d be angry. whenever we went somewhere, he’d be angry. but that’s all i can actually remember, so maybe he wasn’t always angry. but i’ll never really know. i was in elementary, after all. but the late father i had was gentle. he was emotional. he was pathetic, i thought at times. “he has the gall to wish for my mother, when he ruined her life?” it twisted my gut at times whenever i saw him date a new woman- five or four, in total- because i knew what he’d done, but i know he’d never tell them what he’d done. the children he’s abandoned, the mothers he’s left behind, the abuse he’s inflicted on the family that stayed. on the family that didn’t deserve it, that were just trying their fucking best to get by, god damn it. but the late father i had was emotional. but he certainly never let me or anyone forget his roots- his favorite past time being to use the n word like a replacement for the fact he couldn’t say christ’s name. he was ironic for his beliefs. he was mixed, but hated the whites and blacks mix in together. he was grown this way. grown into the part of my family- his family- that fed well on lying to the new generations that unfortunately came to be under their last names. in their blood line.

i don’t know. i’m ranting.

my dad was emotional. i remember at one of my old therapy sessions when i was younger, he started to bawl about his childhood trauma. his dad and everything. i’ve heard the story before. his dad was terrible, he doesn’t know how to be a dad, etc. but i don’t think he ever did- or ever will, even in some belief of afterlife- learn that just because your childhood sucked, there’s no excuse to use that as a crutch to keep abandoning and harming those who are trying to be in your life. it’s never excused, even when you try and help them later on. you stupid piece of shit.

right. the death. i forgot. i’m ranting again.

when i was told he died, i expected a joke at first. i teared up, i silently cried through laughter. i was fine for a few days. i missed school for a while. then it finally hit me all in one day. and i broke down completely. everything he’ll ever miss in my life hit me like a train wreck.

he called me the night before the morning. i told him about my current ceramics project, told him if i finish it i’ll try and show it to him. he said he wanted to come down for halloween, if he could. then he had a heart attack. i joked he could come visit me for halloween, that he didn’t even need to dress up from being a spirit now.

i was fine for a while after my meltdown. i went to school, i think. i don’t remember. his funeral finally came around, surprisingly shortly after everything. my grandma was there. one of my sisters talked about how she shouldn’t have to bury her child, no mother should. my fathers casket was a bright mint. i joked that it was ironic, like one last prank on him. because he used to tell a story that he choked on a mint once during a sports game and puked, so the smell made him sick. we went to a store full of people’s old junk being resold, beforehand. i found some horror themed wreaths, and joked that we should buy one to put on his grave. i don’t think the real dad i had deserved it, not in the slightest. but the dad i had did. at least in some capacity. i bawled at the his casket, as it hit me that he was in there. my father was in that casket, and i couldn’t handle it. they had it closed. i thought i’d regret it later, but i still don’t. i didn’t want to see my dads cold laying corpse. i wanted to remember him how i always saw him. he was always trying to lose weight, but i don’t think i could handle seeing him thinned even slightly. his skin was always tanned, and i don’t think i could handle seeing him any bluer or any whiter. i used to mess with his stomach as a kid, saying how he should never get skinny. me and my brother both did. sorry that your weight loss is being done by maggots, dad. but at least it’s quicker than what you were doing, right?

for all the trouble he caused, he was still a dad to me. he made sure to always tell me he loved me, he shared my interest of horror and the nasty bits and pieces of human nature. we would talk about scary things like serial killers. he loved to look into serial killers, he had such a fascination with them. he actually told me stories about how, when he was younger, he’d have dreams of killing people as jason voorhes. i’d judge, but i have worse taste. besides, what angry little kid hasn’t dreamt of killing people, right? or maybe that was just us.

he went to pawn shops a lot. i always hated going to them, i thought they were boring. but now he’s all i think about whenever i see one. i don’t get emotional, i still think they’re boring. but he lives on somehow, i suppose.

he spoiled me rotten. to a very literal degree. i have a feeling he’s the reason for all my rotted teeth, all my mothers dentist bills. but i can’t blame him.

he always asked me if i’d live with him. no, dad, i don’t want to. i never wanted to. living with you wouldn’t have been good for me, and i’m sorry i was never honest with you. it just.. would’ve broke your heart. i’m sorry i’m such a terrible liar, i’m sorry i was so vague all the time when you asked me.

something that broke me the most was when i thought about what his last thoughts and words were as he passed. the flash of regrets he might’ve had as he died. i’ll never know. he can’t tell me.

i saw the wonka movie today. i started to tear up and silently cry as wonka waved to the figment of his mother in the crowd at his greatest accomplishment, the one she’d promise to be there for. him blowing a kiss to her. when she disappeared into thin air when the man passed infront of her, it hit me all at once. it hit too close. i smiled, i joked, but i cried for a bit. i silently cried, but once the lights turned on i forgot about it, i joked, i defended, i wiped the tears away, i went to the car, we went home.

oddly, i don’t miss him. i never spent time with him, because for the past year or two he’s never come to see me on the weekends like documents said he was supposed too. he was always busy. to me, always running from someone. it was either he couldn’t pay for something, he lost his job, something like that. last time he told me that, he was actually visiting my family 2 days away. he didn’t tell anybody. it feels like he was a deadbeat. an emotional one, though.

i’m sorry to everyone he’s ever dated, ever ‘loved’, ever met, ever touched, ever made. i’m sorry he’s screwed all of our lives over. we all have to live with what he’s done to us, how he’s effected us. but i’m glad we met. you’re apart of the family now, i hope you enjoy us.

i don’t miss him. but i wish he could’ve lasted at least just a few more weeks, just one more year. be there for my 18th, be there for my first job, my first car, my first anything. he’ll never be there for any of it. and it hurts, but not because i wanted him to see it. i didn’t need him to see any of it. i could’ve just told him about it, and that’d be ok. but i can’t even do that. phone calls don’t go to hell, after all. yeah, you didn’t use the lords name in vain, but you weren’t exactly the type to love thy neighbor. not fully. at least you weren’t homophobic, i guess? very racist though.

at least he’s the reason i have a loving dog named otis. he remembered the one and only time i joked that if we ever got a dog, we should name it otis. he remembered, and i didn’t in the slightest.

he did some things right, but all of his life he did wrong. i guess.. i’m glad i don’t have an obligation to see him, anymore? i don’t know. it’s weird.

#vent #long post #fox vents #sorry #tw parental death #i’m not usually this personal but i just. i need somewhere to talk to a void. #don’t bother like. typing something comforting for me. ill be fine #i appreciate it but i don’t really need it

[crucifixes-and-chrysanthemums]

Wowza. No, wowzers. I just made a DO IT FOR HER thing for Sixto to motivate him to get better at running with Kate Marsh, so Life is Strange is on the brain. Hence, wowzers, its been a hot minute since I last journaled. 4/4/22 is my last, and today is 12/10/22. Its been a good year, I suppose. James got a DUI a few weeks ago and is going to be quitting his job at the OPWDD since his license is getting suspended pending the court hearing for some reason. Total bullshit, but whatever. Maybe I can get him into 7-Eleven. He asked if we’re taking applications. It could be nice. Anyway.

A couple weeks ago my sister went on a week long drug binge, came home, had a major bipolar episode, and got 51-50′d. That was right around the 20th of November. Whatever the previous Friday was, I think. Maybe. Anyhoo, she was there for three days. The last few weeks, she’s been at home smoking pot, going wherever she wants with dad, and smoking pot with dad. It’s fucking stupid, but what am I gonna do about it? Could be worse. As if the gulf between dad and I needed to be any wider, of course. Eh, its always sorta been me and Mom, then Tessa and dad. Stressful, but I guess it could be worse. I’m slowly beginning to hope that we’re on the mend. 

Summer was Owen’s wedding. Truth be told, I love the guy, but he’s going down the wrong path. He’s got a nice apartment in Grand Rapids, him and Stephanie, but he’s going down the grifter route and I think that's a bad idea, psychically speaking. Bad karma, or whatever. I had a great time, though, generally. I did all the driving. Got stopped for speeding once on the way there and once on the way back, and only got one ticket. I made burgers stuffed with feta and mozzarella, with a topping of chives, dijon mustard, and sour cream. Corn on the cob on the side. Simple, but neither Alex, James, nor I spoke when we ate. Just mouths opening and closing. Damn, that’s a good burger. Drank three vodka crans in an hour and a half at the reception. Prayed with Owen. Flirted a little with some girl. Danced. Gay ol’ time. James and I never got any fishing done, but such is life. 

My prayer life, as of lately, is sorta in the shits if I’m honest. Its just... Hard, man. Rosaries have never appealed to me. At the same time, I don’t feel like God has abandoned me, you know? I’m trying to make everything I do a prayer. Well, alright, I’m trying to make some of the things I do a prayer. I did just finish a book called Eternity, My Beloved by Jean Sulivan and absolutely adored it. Its about a priest in France named Jerome Strozzi (called Tonzi) who essentially becomes a caretaker to down-and-outs. He hangs around with prostitutes, never evangelizing or moralizing to them. Just telling them he loves them, and that they have dignity. That’s when he speaks, which is rarely. They reform. It made so much sense to me. The best way to evangelize, to speak Christ into others lives, is to not do so at all. Just make your faith known, and then be quiet and listen. Treat others well. Thursday, when I’d finished talking to Mike about it, I got a text from an old friend from college, Erika. She asked me if I’d gone through RCIA, because she’s considering it. I passed along Mike and Leslie’s emails. God is good, even if He and I don’t always see eye to eye.

So, speaking of that. I’ve been working on a little bit of a project as of the last while. A group for young adult Catholics in the parish and the surrounding parishes. Mike used the term “faith support group” at some point, and I like that. I picture it as a sort of “ready-made friend group”? Man, my notes are all over the place on it, honestly. I’ve got two thirds written down, on paper, another half in my phone, and a bit more in my head. Gotta get this together. Anyway, the idea in short is a group of young adults, between 18 and say 35, that meet once a week or twice a month. Spend 15 minutes or so talking about the prior week’s readings - anything speak to you? Father say anything that really struck you? Hear something you wanted? Something you didn’t? After that, just open discussion. Maybe one time someone has a topic they wanna talk about - a sin they’re struggling with, or just something they know a lot about that they want to share with the group. The idea is to address loneliness. Why do we, as young adults, feel so fuckin’ lonely? We can access the width and breadth of the human experience with our fingertips but still, lonely lonely lonely. Ready-made friend group. There’s food, of course - a whole ass meal, ideally. Pizza the first couple nights, maybe. But also homemade stuff. Don’t lead, can’t. I can, but don’t want to. Its not about any of us, its just about us. Someone being an obvious leader is a bad idea. Mike said to take pointers from how AA works, actually. Gotta find someone to talk to about that. Mutual aid, mutual aid, mutual aid. We’ve gotta organize ourselves, because nobody is gonna do it for us. And if they did, we wouldn’t want it. They’d be fakers and grifters and ideologues. Kill your leaders, I guess.

I’m actually excited for this. I think its something we really need as a church, as young people, and as young churchgoers. Plan is to start it in the bulletin Jan 1, then have the first meeting end of January or beginning of February. Hopefully it goes somewhere. Lord willing and the creek don’t rise. That seems to be my prayer pretty often - “Good Lord willin’ and the crick don’t rise.” Just because I ain’t the best at praying and He and I aren’t always the best of friends (of course, by this I mean I’m not always a good friend to Him - its all on me, man, I know that) don’t mean I don’t know how, that I don’t, or that I don’t mean it.

DnD is going good with the OperatorChan guys. It’s me, Remo, Anubis, Garde, Senseless, and HingedKilljoy, a friend of Todd’s. Todd’s DMing. We’re playing tomorrow, last session before a long holiday break. Fun fun fun. 

Oh, I’ve got a few job things coming up. Civil Service Exam for Corrections Officer later this month - that one’s online - and another for Water/Wastewater Treatment Plant Operator also this month, the 23rd. Then another for Custodian in February. They all pay more than I make now, and none are far away. Here’s to a better job - not gonna stay at Seven-Eleven forever.

Anyway, I guess that’s about it. Still single, but content with it. When I find someone, I find someone. God provides what I need.

12/10/2022

#crandch-blog

[helliontherapscallion]

(Y/n) and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week: Monday

Tuesday     Wednesday     Thursday (Part 1)     Thursday (Part 2)     Friday     Saturday     Sunday

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Pairing: SBI x sister!reader (she/her pronouns)

Warnings: swearing, toxic friends, panic spirals/attacks, injury, taking pills for pain

Summary: you have a very bad week, how will you manage? (Characters are fully human, but based on their DSMP characters. High school AU)

Word count: 4,818

(A/N): I’ve never played volleyball or watched Haikyuu before, so I’m not 100% certain how games work. Also, I probs should’ve split this into two parts, but eh.

“(Y/n) love, you look homeless in that sweater, it’s literally so fucking ugly.”

“Haha, yeah it is. I guess I just wasn’t really trying today.”

Adrian snorted, scanning your body with his cold eyes. “Today? You don’t try at all. You always look like trash.”

“More than trash, you always look like you just rolled in dog shit.” Sammy threw her head back and cackled at her own joke.

Your friends around you erupted in laughter as you four walked down the hallways of the hell that was your public high school. You awkwardly chuckled alongside them, you didn’t really find it funny, but you didn’t want to draw more attention towards yourself. 

“Seriously, (y/n), I really don’t know why we still hang out around you anymore. You really let yourself go.”

“Yeah, now that I think about it, you did gain like five pounds in the past week.”

“Really not a good look on you, love. Then again, nothing you do can make you look good anymore.”

You tried to not let their comments get to you, you really did, but sometimes their comments just rooted themselves deep into your subconscious. You didn’t try looking good anymore, you couldn’t wear anything without them criticising it. You could never win. 

“Awe,” Adrien poked your cheeks, “stop looking so sad. We’re just trying to give you advice. You really need it.”

“Yeah, (y/n). You’re so sensitive, get a grip.”

“Guys look, I think she’s gonna cry!” 

You wiped at your welling eyes with the sleeves of your sweater. “I’m not. I just got allergies.”

Annie rolled her eyes. “Uh-huh. Anyways, what are our plans for Halloween? We should totally dress up like sexy angels! I think that’d be so cool. Like, Clint’s party won’t be ready for us.”

“Oh, about that Annie…”

“God, what now (y/n)?”

“I was actually planning on spending Halloween night taking Tommy and Tubbo trick-or-treating with my brothers and dad. I won’t be able to go with you guys, I’m sorry.”

The group groaned loudly. “C’mon (y/n), you never hang out with us anymore.”

“Oh my god (y/n) you still go trick-or-treating? We’re juniors.”

“I’m sorry, I’ve just been busy with my AP classes and studying for the SAT. My team captain’s really been pushing the team hard with volleyball practice. State finals are soon and we want first this year.”

“No matter how much studying you do, you’re gonna fail. You’re stupid, so why try? Just give up and hang out with uuussss.”

“Yeah (y/n),” Adrien looked at you suspiciously, “you’ve been ignoring us lately. I thought we were friends. Do you even wanna be friends anymore?”

You felt a flare of panic flare up in your gut. “I do! I-I just have so much going on right now. It’s starting to get hard to juggle everything.”

“We’re starting to think that you don’t like us anymore, we want our (y/n) back!” Sammy whined. The others agreed with her, making you feel guilty. You were ignoring them, it was selfish in your opinion. You supposed that you could skip out on taking Tommy and Tubbo trick-or-treating, there’ll be other years you could take them. 

“I guess I can take Tommy and Tubbo another year. They’d just have to go without me this year.”

They cheered, giving you praise. You beamed at that, they seemed down lately and you loved it when they’d give you compliments. They didn’t do that much, so that made their praise more special to you. You strived to get compliments.

You four went off to your separate first classes for the day. Yours was statistics, a class you’ve been struggling in lately. You didn’t know anybody in there except for your oldest brother Techno, so you tried to stick with him. Unfortunately, the teacher’s seating chart placed you both on opposite ends of the room, probably because of your last names indicating that you’re siblings. You placed your stuff down on the table and plopped down into your seat, already drained. You had a long day ahead of you; you had a major AP world history test in your next class, you had to give a presentation in your AP english class that was worth a quarter of your final grade, and you had a semifinals volleyball match that would last until late in the night. If your team won, you would be going to state finals, so it was a lot of pressure on your shoulders. You were the main setter, so you had to really focus tonight if you were going to score your team points. 

“Alright class, pull out your homework!”

Fuck, you had homework? You looked in your folder, only to see the unfinished sheet full of equations you didn’t understand staring back at you tauntingly. Mr. Mullins walked over to your desk, took one look at your blank homework, and just walked right past you. Another big fat zero in the gradebook for you, just what you needed. At least he wasn’t in the mood to berate you today. You didn’t need any more stress piled onto your shoulders. 

The lesson felt like it dragged on forever with you frantically trying to copy down the notes on the board and trying to understand the content at the same time. Overtime, he would call students up to the board. Hopefully, he would skip over you today. “Ms. Minecraft.” Goddamn it, you spoke too soon.

Your head perked up and you looked at him. “Yes sir?”

“Come up to the board and solve this.”

Gulping, you felt panic rise up in you and stood up with shaky knees. On the board was part of the newer content he was just teaching. Something that you understood only a little bit better than the rest, and that’s not saying much. You still didn’t understand the content completely. Your writing was shaky as you wrote what you thought was right on the board. Finding the answer, you circled it and looked at Mr. Mullins. He looked disappointed. 

“That’s wrong, Ms. Minecraft. Please sit down.”

You felt like your face was on fire as you saw the entire class burning holes into you with their eyes. Though they looked dead inside, as per usual with any morning class full of tired teenagers, their effects still took hold on you. You wanted to crawl into a dark hole and die. You sat back down and stared at your note packet, you couldn’t focus on the lecture anymore. Your attention was fully on your surroundings, you were hyper aware of every little whisper and bouncing leg in your peripheral vision. You could feel yourself spiraling, usually that wouldn’t happen until after your third class. Today was going to be rough. 

The loud chime of the bell startled you out of your thoughts. You shakily put your papers back into your binder and put the binder back into your backpack. Right as you were about to walk through the door, you heard Techno catch up to you. “Hey, you good?”

“Yeah Tech, I’m just peachy.”

“Are you su-”

“Technoblade. I’m fine. Now if you excuse me, I have to get to my next class. I have an important presentation I’ve gotta prepare for.”

Without giving him any room to argue, you rushed off to your english class. You had Adrian and Annie in your class. For your presentation, you were paired up with people that you hardly knew. At least they did their part in the project, you were certain you were going to die if you got paired up with Adrian and Annie again. You loved them, but they never did any part of their portion of work. They left it to you to finish at midnight the day the project was due. To be fair, they both told you they had family emergencies, so you covered for them just that once. 

You pulled out your flashcards only to have them knocked out of your hand when someone bumped into you. You quickly crouched to pick them up so you could have them in order by time class started. “Oops, sorry love.”

It was Annie. She and Adrian towered over your crouched form smirking at you. Looking back down to rearrange your cards, you murmured “it’s ok.”

“Are you ready for this presentation, I know I am.”

You smiled a little. “Actually, I think I’m going to ace this. English is my best subject.”

“Yeah (y/n), I wasn’t asking you. I was talking to Annie. Besides, you’re probably going to fail this.” Adrian scoffed. 

“Thank you for asking, Adrian,” Annie shot a pointed look at you, “at least someone cares.”

The bell rang, signifying the start of your second block. You felt like you had a lump in your throat blocking your breathing. If Adrian, one of the smartest kids in your english class, said that you were going to fail, then you probably were going to fail. That would take a huge hit on your grade, this project was worth a quarter of your final grade after all. You were zoned out for the entirety of your classmate’s presentations putting yourself into a spiral. You jumped when Mr. Todd, your teacher, called your group up to present.

You stood stiffly in the middle of your two groupmates and clutched your flashcards with clammy hands. Luckily, your part of the presentation was not first. When it came to your part, you were stuttering and tumbling over your words. You even dropped your flashcards in front of everybody, causing half the class to snicker. Your face burned as you hurried to pick them up and your other groupmate took this as a signal to continue the presentation. You still had an important point to make that was integral for the set up to your other groupmate’s part of her presentation. You stared at your flashcards for the rest of the presentation. 

When the bell rang, you made a mad dash out of the classroom. You didn’t want to talk to anybody, especially not Adrian or Annie. It was a relief that you had your lunch period at the moment. You could hide yourself in the bathroom nobody used and let your panic attack ride itself out. 

You ducked inside a stall and sat on the toilet, bringing your knees up to bury your face in them. The tears and panic you were holding in all day let itself out with explosive effects. You started to hyperventilate as you muffled your sobs with your knee. Your chest painfully clenched so you couldn’t breathe. Your limbs felt like they weighed two tons each and they were shaking intensely. You didn’t hear the end of the lunch bell ring. By the time you calmed down slightly, you were five minutes late to AP world history. 

You packed your stuff up in a hurry, power walking through the halls. You probably looked like shit, but you didn’t care, you had a class to get to and a test that you probably wouldn’t be able to finish now. You lost ten minutes of your test time. When you tried to open the closed door, you found that it was locked. You had to knock if you wanted to get in. You raised a shaking hand to knock, but the door was opened by a less-than-impressed Ms. Osborne. She ushered you to your desk and gave you your unit test. 

You couldn’t focus. The multiple choice section was usually a breeze to you, but you couldn’t comprehend any of the questions. When you could comprehend them, you couldn’t concentrate on choosing an answer. You did your best to find the correct answers, but you were almost positive that at least half of them were wrong. Your handwriting was nearly incomprehensible and your essay topic was something you didn’t study for. When you were done with half of the body paragraphs, the bell rang and you had to turn in your unfinished test. 

You had your independent online psychology course next in the library. You usually worked alone secluded in a corner deep inside the library where nobody went. You would get some solace in being alone. Maybe you’d calm down enough so that you could ride home with your brothers and not go for a long walk so you could avoid them. 

You settled down in the comfortable chair and pulled out your laptop to get started. Psychology was your favorite class. It was easy for you to understand, it didn’t have much of a workload attached to it, and it was fun to learn about. It always calmed you down reading about the intricate workings of the brain. 

By time the day was over, you got most of your psychology work done and you were on your way to the car you shared with Technoblade and Wilbur. You took out your spare keys and slumped against the window in the backseat. You were absolutely drained after your terrible day and you still felt panic swirling deep within you, waiting for the right moment to strike. 

You stretched out your legs across the seat and leaned your back against the door. For the first time that day, you felt peaceful. You still had at least fifteen minutes to yourself until your brothers would start to make your way to the car. You felt the panic subside slightly and you fully relaxed. You closed your eyes and let yourself drift off into a light sleep. You needed your energy for tonight’s match. 

The door you were leaning on swung open and you tumbled backwards smacking the back of your head against the metal frame of the car and reverse scorpioning onto the pavement. Your entire upper back and the back of your head exploded in pain and your lower back hurt slightly from having your back bent uncomfortably. You heard laughter above you as you felt tears of pain start to slip out of your eyes. Your legs swung out from their place above your face and landed on the ground with a painful thump. 

You saw three blurry figures above you laughing at your pain. You reached up with a shaky hand to wipe at your tears and saw Adrian, Sammy, and Annie. They were cackling as you shakily stood up and sat on the comfortable seats of the car. You waited patiently for them to calm down. 

Eventually, Sammy calmed down enough to explain what happened to you through chuckles. “I’m sorry (y/n), it was just too good to resist. You should’ve seen your face.”

She and the others broke back into uncontrolled laughter as they remembered your embarrassing fall. You were used to their antics, and quite frankly it felt good to make your friends laugh, even if it were at your own expense. Just as they were calming down once again, you saw Wilbur and Techno walk out the front doors of the school laughing at something the other said. Annie and Sammy heard their laughter and quickly turned around to watch them. They had massive crushes on both of your brothers, many in the school did. 

Your brothers made their way to your shared car and stopped to look at you in slight confusion. “(Y/n), were you crying? What happened?” Wilbur asked worriedly. 

“Yea-”

“Oh Wilbur, it was terrible, (y/n) fell out of the car. I don’t think she closed the door before she leaned on it.” Annie interrupted you with a faked concerned tone, a complete contradiction to her reaction before your brothers came.

Techno hastily made his way to the driver’s side door. “Well, if she’s hurt we better get going, right Wilbur?”

“Yes! We better get going, please excuse us.” He sat in the passenger seat and closed the door without hearing Sammy and Annie’s desperate attempts to stop them so they could talk to them. Your brothers thought Sammy and Annie were annoying. They absolutely hated being around them. 

Waving apologetically at your friends, you pulled yourself into the car and closed the door. Annie and Sammy looked offended that you had let Wilbur and Techno get away from them. Avoiding their eyes, you looked down at your tightly clasped hands. They were shaking slightly. 

After pulling out of the parking lot, Techno glanced at you from the rearview mirror. “You ok (y/n)?”

“Yeah, my back just hurts and I have a headache.”

“Well, do you wanna go and get some ice cream? We still have some time left before we have to pick up Tommy and Tubbo. Dad doesn’t have to know,” Wilbur asked you.

You sighed, you wanted nothing other than to take a nap before your match. “Sorry, but I need to watch what I eat today. We have semifinals tonight and I can’t have anything sugary. I just wanna go home and take a nap.”

Your brothers were quiet for the rest of the car ride until you reached your driveway. Techno twisted his body around in his seat to look at you after he put the car in park. “Did you actually fall out of the car?”

Shit, should you tell him the truth? If you did, they would almost certainly get mad at your friends. Sammy and Annie would never forgive you if you turned your brothers against them. You decided that you would take one for the team again. “Yeah, I wasn’t paying attention.” 

Techno snorted. “Well, that was stupid,” he jokingly said. “Next time you’re gonna get run over by a parked car.”

You knew that he meant that as a joke, but it still stung. Stamping your emotions down, you laughed with him and Wilbur. It was stupid of you to do, you shouldn’t have let your guard down if you weren’t at home. 

You winced as you slung your bag on your back and walked the best you could back into your house. Your upper back was killing you. You made a beeline to the bathroom and rummaged through the medicine cabinet looking for some pain relief pills. You took some and shambled off to your room to take your well earned nap. You set your alarm’s setting to its loudest volume and passed out. 

You jolted up and gasped when you felt a wave of pain hit your upper back. You blearily looked at the time. You had a little under two hours before you had to get back to the school for your match. You groaned when you pulled yourself up, your head pounding with every turn. You pulled yourself out of bed and once again took some pain pills. You went downstairs to grab an apple or something to eat. Your dad was at the stove stirring something around in a pot. 

He turned to look at you with an excited smile. “You ready for your match tonight? You’re gonna kill it!” 

You only nodded halfheartedly and plopped yourself down at the table with your apple. Philza frowned at your lack of enthusiasm, but he figured that it was just because you just woke up from a nap. You’d bounce back eventually. 

“Wilbur told me that you fell out of the car? How’d you do that?”

You shrugged, wincing slightly as it moved your back slightly. “Dunno, must’ve not closed the door.”

Philza was at your side in a hurry, his hands hovering over your shoulders. “Did you get hurt? Show me where it hurts.”

“My back and the back of my head.”

“Can I move your shirt so I could look?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

You felt him gently pull the neck of your t-shirt away from your body to peek at your back. You heard his breath hitch as he looked. Was it that bad? “Good god (y/n),” he breathed out.

“What, is it bad?”

“Don’t you feel how bad it is? Your entire back is bruised. I think there’s some blood too.”

“Damn.”

“First, language. Second, that’s all you have to say? Aren’t you in pain?”

“Yeah, but the pain pills are gonna kick in soon. I’ll be fine.”

“Would you be able to play tonight? I really think you should sit this one out.”

“No, I’m playing tonight Dad.”

“(Y/n),” oh no, he was using his stern dad voice. “It’s not a good idea to play tonight. You’re hurt, I’m sure they’ll understand if you sit this one out.”

You felt frustration rise up in you. “We’re in the semifinals. They need me, I’m the main setter. They’d lose without me playing.”

“(Y/n), I’m serious. You’re not playing today.”

“Dad, I am playing today. Look, I’ll talk to Coach Williams to see if I could be rotated out more often. I know she’d let me.”

He stared at you for a while before sighing. He knew there was no convincing you. “...Fine. But you better talk to Coach Williams about sitting out for a bit if your back hurts too much or I swear I’ll drag you off the court myself.”

You smiled a little at the small victory. “Thank you! I promise I’ll sit out if needed.”

He quirked an eyebrow at you. “If needed?”

You sighed, “when needed.”

He walked over to the pot, stirring the contents slightly. “That’s better. Dinner’s almost ready, I made some pasta.”

“It smells good, but I think I’m skipping out on it for today. I already ate this apple and if I eat any more I’ll probably hurl on the court.”

He made a displeased noise in the back of his throat, “fine, but you’re eating something when we get home tonight.”

He walked off to go get your brothers and Tubbo for dinner. You could hear their booming steps racing down the stairs towards the kitchen. They raced into the kitchen and almost crashed into the back of your chair. You stood up and looked at the two excitable fifth graders. “Careful boys, don’t want you getting hurt.”

“You’re no fun (y/n),” Tommy whined.

“Sure, sorry bout that,” Tubbo beamed at you.

You chuckled, making your way upstairs to get ready for your match. You took off your clothes with great difficulty and slipped on your jersey and your spandex shorts. They were way too short for your tastes, but you couldn’t wear longer ones, they’d just get in the way. You fondly remembered how your dad flipped out when he first saw you in them, he hated them with a burning passion. He still hates how short they are.

When you were struggling with pulling your hair back into a tight, sleek ponytail, the back of your head throbbed continuously with pain. You most likely bruised your scalp. 

You slipped on your shoes that were made specifically for playing volleyball and headed downstairs. You were met with Tommy and Tubbo jumping in excitement seeing you in your uniform. They loved going to your matches, even if they would always pass out in the car after them because matches usually ended late at night. You grabbed your dad’s keys and headed to his car. Before you could lead the boys out the door, Philza’s voice stopped you.

“(Y/n), coat.”

You huffed, grabbing your coat and putting it on before tossing him his keys. You four got into the car and set out for the high school. The short drive was filled with Tommy and Tubbo asking you questions about volleyball and encouraging you. “(Y/n), you’re gonna kick their butts!”

“Yeah!” Tubbo cheered 

Despite their voices causing a spike of pain to shoot throughout your head, you laughed at their enthusiasm. It was always nice to hear your little brother and pseudo brother in the stands cheering you on, they were your and your team’s personal cheerleaders. 

Not long after you got to the school, you were stretching with your team on the gym’s floor. Your posse found their way into the stands, sitting in the front row. The away team watched your team like a hawk, analysing every single player for any weakness. It was because of them that you tried to not show any pain when you moved your back. You talked to Coach Williams before the team stretch and she was obviously sympathetic with your situation. She agreed to switching you out with the standby setter every few rotations. 

The echo of the whistles caused pain to ring in your head every time someone scored or a foul was called. Your team captain, Haley, was constantly, yet discreetly checking on you throughout the game since she was always next to you. She was the team’s main spiker after all. 

The game droned on and on before you realized that the opposing team was targeting you when they were offensive. They probably realized that you were injured a round ago. You tried your best to block every ball that was sent your way, but a few managed to slip past you when you couldn’t move fast enough. This team was good, but your team was better. 

The score during the final round was tied and the clock was on it’s last ten seconds as the ball soared your way. You dove to hit it, landing on your shoulder on the hard floor and hitting it up high enough for Haley to spike the ball down. The crowd went wild as the ball bounced off from the opposite end of the court almost simultaneously with the screeching of the referee’s whistle, signifying the end of the game and your team’s victory.

You laid on the floor in pain, you thought you must’ve pulled your tender muscles in your back and shoulder. It hurt to move it. You felt one of your teammates grab your hand to yank you up into a giant full team group hug. You yelped slightly in pain as you felt arms press against your back and hands firmly patting your bruised shoulders. You were whisked away into the locker room to change into the pajamas you brought with you. 

“(Y/n), are you alright? That was a pretty hard fall.” Haley’s soft voice asked you. You felt your heart sing in your chest. 

“Yeah Hales, I’m fine. I just pulled a few muscles.”

Her perfectly shaped eyebrows furrowed together, “are you sure? As your team captain and your friend, I’m worried about you.”

You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face. You felt warm knowing that she cared about you. “I’m sure, worrywart.”

She rolled her eyes playfully and breathed out a soft laugh. “Sorry for asking, grump.” Her laugh sounded like music to your ears. 

Your phone vibrated in your pajama pocket, alerting you of your family waiting for you in the car and for you to hurry up. You sighed, “sorry Hales, I gotta go. Dad’s getting impatient.” 

She gave you a small smile. “Oh, well, tell your family I said hi! Good work on the court today, I wouldn’t ask for a different setter.”

You felt your cheeks warm up and you watched with wide eyes as she left the locker room. Your phone vibrated again, your dad was really starting to get impatient. 

You walked out of the school as fast as you could to find your dad’s car waiting for you up front. Jumping in and softly closing the passenger side door, you slumped against the window. “(Y/n),” Tommy’s tired voice slurred. “That. Was. Pog…”

You glanced back to see him and Tubbo snoring away in their seats. Your match was more exciting than usual, so that must’ve really tired them out. You chuckled, turning back around to lean against the window. You took care not to put any weight on your shoulder or back. 

“(Y/n), you were amazing out there, but why did you dive for that ball? That fall looked like it hurt.”

You hummed tiredly, “thanks Dad. I just did what I thought would win us the game. We’re going to finals!” You quietly sang. 

“Did you hurt your shoulder?”

“I actually don’t know, but I think I might’ve pulled a few muscles. Nothing too bad.”

“...I scheduled a doctor’s appointment for you tomorrow morning during your first and second blocks. I want you to get your back, shoulder, and head looked at. You looked miserable the entire match.”

You sighed, too tired to argue, “mmk.”

He chuckled before the car fell into a comfortable silence. The gentle bouncing of the car and the subtle hum of the engine was lulling you to sleep. Your eyelids were drooping by the time you pulled into your driveway. 

You drug yourself out of the car and into the house, leaving Philza with the sleeping boys. You walked straight to your room and plopped down on your bed, passing out instantly for the second time that day.

Series taglist (comment if you want to be added):

#sbi x reader #sleepy bois x reader #sleepy bois inc x reader #sibling reader #sister reader #platonic #reader is a lesbian #toxic friends #volleyball #mcyt #mcyt x reader #high school AU #philza x reader #technoblade x reader #wilbur soot x reader #tommyinnit x reader #tubbo x reader #tw: swearing #tw: toxic friendship #tw: panic attack #tw: injury #tw: anxiety #tw: bullying