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#because as much as I work to avoid parasocial relationships
aroaceleovaldez · 2 months
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okay last one for the night but. honestly i really hate how the franchise has been using loyalty to Rick as a shield for so long. If Rick was involved in a project or not doesn't matter, especially not anymore.
ReadRiordan and the publishing for the franchise has been using this tactic for ages - they obscure if any writing related to the series wasn't written by Rick unless it's special circumstances. It's near impossible to find out who the ghostwriters are (Stephanie True Peters and Mary-Jane Knight). TSATS was promoted as the first time we got a non-Riordan (Rick or Haley) author working on one of the companion novels despite having seven already existing ghostwritten books in the series. The only reason Mark Oshiro was emphasized so heavily for TSATS was because they also work as a sensitivity reader for topics such as queer identity, and Rick had received backlash in the past for being a Straight Cis Old White Guy repeatedly falling into bad habits (that he hasn't broken out of) with certain characterizations that he kept doubling-down on or retconning into oblivion. The show emphasizes that Rick was involved, but the LA Times article brings into question exactly how much he was involved, and it doesn't even really matter either way. The ReadRiordan site actively avoids putting any writing credits on their articles (or art credits...) or anywhere on their site.
Practically the entire fandom unanimously agrees the musical - which had zero involvement from Rick - is the best adaptation of the series so far, including the TV show. Some of the best writing to come out of the series recently was the stuff ghostwritten by Stephanie True Peters (Camp Half-Blood Confidential, Camp Jupiter Classified, Nine from the Nine Worlds, etc). And yet when promotional stuff is posted about CHB:C, there's clearly coded language used to hide the fact that Rick himself didn't write it. Yes, that's how ghostwriters work, but at this point we should really stop pretending "Rick Riordan" isn't just a pen name for a group of authors like "Erin Hunter" and that Rick is actually writing everything in the series. I can easily look up and see which Animorphs books were ghostwritten, and who those authors were. I can find every "Erin Hunter" easily listed on official sites. And yet most people don't even know the Riordanverse franchise has ghostwriters at all.
And the franchise is still trying to use the "Tio/Uncle Rick" stuff. Author loyalty and marketing parasocial relationships isn't going to save the franchise when the author himself can't hold up his own original themes or even keep basic series bible details straight, and especially not if the editors are barely if at all doing their job. And please at least get a goddamn series bible by this point.
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piracytheorist · 3 months
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Episode 36 reactions!
I don't think one single minute passed this episode without me bursting out in laughter XD
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I will get what interesting details I can, though! And here we have soap opera male character who has a Betrothed in the West. Interesting! Why did they separate, and how did she end up in Westalis, or he in Ostania? Did she defect and is waiting for him to join her? I need the full context, Berlint in Love!
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Looks like one of the things that make Becky rush to be a grown-up is how she can't wait to have romantic feelings and relationships. Gurl, you're six. Pick up a doll or a ball.
The way the next scene was shown (hilarious) it looks like it was Anya who first picked up the phone, and didn't even make a sound before Becky started off her rant. Picking up the phone as a kid is quite a responsibility!
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The music suddenly went full humor shoujo there XD
I love how Martha is already onto Becky.
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She's like "Yo maybe reel it in a little"
The way all three of them are in completely different wavelengths is hilarious. I guess Twilight, the honey-trap master, sees Becky as the girl she is and cannot imagine she'd ever have such passionate imaginings with him.
The hell, though. I've met my favourite actor from up close in a convention and that was pretty much my reaction while being close to him. I feel Becky but someone needs to tell her of this thing called parasocial relationship--
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WHAAAAAT
I had my eyes glued to the screen for this. It's definitely not surprising that the Blackbells would hire such an experienced bodyguard for Becky, but it's very interesting how it was pointed out to us! I wonder what we'll get to see next with her! (reminder: anime only!)
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Becky really thinks she lives in a shoujo story doesn't she XD
I mean, Anya thinks she lives in a Spy Wars story so it's not that surprising XD
I love how in the "new" family photo Wiesel is added in front of Bond!
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This episode is full chaos and I love it.
Seriously, the way Anya's powers work for her character is amazing. Usually, we'd get to see those imaginings even if she didn't have telepathy. But since she can see them with us, she gets a fair place as - almost - an audience proxy. And I mean, yeah, why wouldn't Anya be excited at the idea of super tasty food all of the time (even when papa is super busy), not having to do chores, and having fun family outings all of the time?
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Completely different wavelengths, I tell you. How does this show make me love misunderstandings XD
And then a fourth wavelength is added and it's just! You don't know where to begin!
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Poor Bond was heartbroken that Becky didn't notice him! Poor boy!
I find it really funny that this episode happened now, just a little after we got heavy hints that Loid is falling hard for Yor, and Becky is still like "I will win his heart with my six-year-old charm!"
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If you count Bond dealing with getting rejected, that's five different wavelengths in one single screencap. No-one knows what's going on, not even Anya the telepath or Twilight the master spy.
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Those are not the family teacups! Interesting choice. Also Becky's face, yeah that's exactly how I was when approaching my favourite actor for my photo shoot with him. I was smiling from one ear to the other, though XD
Also, I remember getting sent manga screencaps with Loid in such a cardigan! And I guessed right that it would be a beige one! I mean, it's a pretty common colour for a grandpapa cardigan, but has he maybe worn this before?
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I wonder how he'd react and adapt if he knew Becky is having a crush on him. Like, what would he do? He'd definitely avoid anything inappropriate for all the obvious reasons, but here he's trying to pull back because he thinks Becky is getting suspicious of him XD
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Send this to a friend without context and ask them to guess what the actual fuck is going on here. This is Misunderstandings: the Right-Before-Holidays Special.
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Pure Chaos and it just
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keeps
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going.
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This is exactly what I signed up for when I watched the very first episodes and was like "please tell me the entire show is like this"
Poor Yor, though. Her very first instinct was to blame herself and think of herself as incompetent. I guess old habits die hard.
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Simp alert.
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YEAH DEFINITELY NOT SCREAMING AT THIS
Seriously, though! She remembers what he told her there (though, weren't they supposed to repeat the conversation the next day?) and I hope she remembers how vulnerable he made himself with her.
OH BOI I DON'T SHIP OFTEN BUT WHEN I SHIP. I SHIP.
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LOID BROUGHT YOR'S COAT WITH! MY GOD!
I mean! This isn't supposed to be a twiyor-centric episode and yet!
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BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T RICH AS A KID AND THEN YOUR CHILDHOOD WAS VIOLENTLY RIPPED AWAY FROM YOU 😭😭
If you thought I wouldn't grab even this opportunity to make this angsty, well, you were wrong
The highest prize in the hammer competition thingy is... a q-tip?
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We stan. Everything for the ultimate q-tip.
Becky sees Loid's ._. face and she's like
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The way he said that "Yoru-san" there, though! This was the cherry on top of this entire hilarious part!
It was weird to see there was an entire small part on Nightfall, considering we haven't seen her in the entire season. However.
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WHO THE FUCK IS THIS. WHY IS HE WATCHING THEM LIKE THAT.
(again, anime only here)
And I'm like, whoa. That's a very suspicious guy thrown in the middle of a filler part (I was told this is anime original) and not shown again. Since the next episode is the last of the season, I assume we'll see him again in that one?
I remember that in episode 20, when Loid is in the hospital, we see a moment from afar with a moving shadow, like someone was watching them. I noticed it on a rewatch and up until now I thought that was Nightfall. But now?
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Seriously, though, are they not noticing him??
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What he doin
I love how Handler said she doesn't want to overwork her agents... I wonder if she says anything relevant in the manga but I dare not look into the chapter after the one with Becky XD I'm guessing she actually took to heart the reprimand from HQ to be more lax with her agents.
Nightfall shows an almost audacious level of self-confidence in front of her boss... and Handler doesn't deny it. She trusts her and actually thinks the same - that Nightfall is probably the only one capable of handling Twilight's missions.
Anyway, Nightfall is going all "Senpai will notice me" and I'm like
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ADDITIONAL CRUISE FOOTAGE???? 👀👀👀👌👌
Another hopeless suitor, Nightfall goes like "Did you spot any flaws in that Briar woman yet or" having no idea he was looking at Yor like the yearning simp he is <3
Nightfall being all "Pick me. Choose me. Love me." and then Twilight is like "Wow she did all of that hard job while I was gone. Guess she deserves the leftover souvenirs."
Like. I'm crying laughing over this. He didn't even think about getting a souvenir for her, not even as a cover. Nightfall couldn't be more hopeless.
And then she gives him that look
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And the little hope she didn't even have is thrown out the window.
I love how Twilight turns around in shock and goes like "Why is glaring at me like that?!" because you idiot you gave her "leftovers"
Like I know he thinks they're not supposed to actually connect as friends but still. For a master spy he's so dense XD
They do kinda make you feel bad for her, though. She is trying really hard, and it would be hypocritical to blame her social awkwardness when we're here shipping Mr. Emotional Constipation and Ms. Naivete Personified. She would have actually been sympathetic if she wasn't so aggressive towards Yor (and in her mind, Anya too).
Anyway. Very funny and unhinged episode but there's only ONE EPISODE LEFT. I'M NOT READY FOR THE HIATUS 😭😭
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vyl3tpwny · 9 months
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parasocial2, or, the complications of my social anxiety + growing self + motivation & stress management amidst all these things.
a while ago i wrote on here about parasocial relationships and things of the sort. it was an unorganized ramble, and so this will be also.
Growing Self
something i have to live with is that in my past, i have been an excruciatingly unbearable, egomaniacal cunt. honestly i still have anger issues sometimes. and a lot of the time i take everything EXTREMELY personally. but at least i understand these things about myself better now.
i have a hard time pushing people away or giving space to myself because sometimes i feel like i owe everyone my personal space. like i don't deserve personal space because of how much of a massive bitch i've been; the baggage i've created for myself and the pain i've inflicted on other ppl means that i should have to sell my personal space out to everyone and anyone who asks for it, avoiding risk of being seen as an asshole for pushing people away and asking for space alone.
and yet i find it hard to do anything sometimes. i will wake up to 400 notifications of people asking me high executive or personal questions, needing my help or opinion with something, trying to show me something that i don't have the energy to respond to, and stuff. because of this thing i am and live with, i continue to feel like i have to spend a lot of time trying to figure out something meaningful to say. it takes so much time and willpower and by the end of it i just don't feel like doing anything anymore. it kills my ability to work or go do things or go outside or talk to anyone i actually want to talk to.
it sucks. because there are (a.) a handful of people i could probably talk to every day and it's fine; there are maybe like 15-20 people who fit this category. there is another (b.) sect of people, a very large amount of people, who i can handle speaking to occasionally. then there are (c.) people who i don't know, don't want to know, or used to know. i've labeled them accordingly.
B.
with the people in group ".b", ppl i can only rlly talk to occasionally, it's hard because usually these people are friends or acquaintances and i enjoy the company of sometimes and i can find something to talk about with sometimes. however, usually i do not have the energy to talk to them. i often have a status indicator on my discord, for example, stating that i only want to speak to people i have business with or are very close friends. people in group ".b" tend to be the first and most frequent trespassers of this request. it's very hard to disengage with these conversations or messages because i don't want to hurt their feelings, and it's not like i dislike these people. but a very very very VERY large percentage of people i think don't actually understand how i am.
i have always been someone who values being alone. of course, i couldn't live in isolation i think. but i've always valued just being by myself. i go out most places alone and i will often not participate in any social activity for days, weeks at a time. i think the best when i'm alone and i usually start thinking the most creatively when i'm alone.
so to people in group ".b", it's hard to really establish: "I want to be alone most of the time, don't talk to me", without it seeming like a negative thing. it's not that i don't care or that i dislike these people. i just get overwhelmed and sensory overload easily. and when i'm waking up to over a hundred messages, i don't feel extremely motivated to find the energy. i find it hard to ask for that, especially because of how it can be perceived negatively in light of how toxic i have been in the past as well. idk.
C.
but then there are people in group ".c". people i don't know. people i don't want to know. and people i used to know. that's kind of broad. but they all feel the same to me. this is where it's less about social anxiety and more about perceiving the parasocial construct in front of me.
something i struggle with, among all other things, is why? why constantly vie for the attention of someone who doesn't want to talk to you. what joy is there in seeking a one-sided relationship? it confuses me profoundly. if i speak to someone and they don't return the same enthusiasm or level of interaction, i just leave them alone after that. i'm not going to try and be friends with someone who has other things to do and other friends to be with. so why is it that it feels constantly like there are people who want to call me their 'friend' and want to seek out a connection with me when i'm not reciprocating that in any way. i especially don't feel like the most unique, interesting person in the world. if i'm not interested in connecting, i'm sure there are way more interesting people than me to even talk to. so why does it have to be me? i'm just a person.
anyway. it gets very difficult to disengage with people in group ".c". again, part of it is because i'm overly aware of how i can come across, especially given my past toxicity. however, with these people it gets much more complicated. often i find that the people who form parasocial interests in me also happen to be people who a predisposition to hurt themselves and sometimes those around them. i still struggle with the trauma of someone who faked their suicide and blamed me for just not talking to them even though i didn't know them at all. so not only do i feel the need to delicately balance not upsetting people in group ".c" because they may guilt trip me over what i've grown out of, i'm also afraid of them hurting themselves or hurting other people.
to the people who aren't in the extreme ends of that. it's still difficult because a lot of the times i will openly express my social (or lack thereof) needs very transparently. and they will still continue to try and reach me. i don't really know what else to do, because if i block them it will seem so much more drastic and upsetting, because the people in this group tend to not want to think in any neutral or balanced sense.
there are people who i have ignored the messages of for quite literally several years. and they will still message me consistently as if unreciprocated message 70 is going to prompt me to finally respond.
There is No Middle Horse
I do everything. I write, compose, arrange, perform (vocals and instruments), produce, mix, and master all of my music.
I do all my management. There is nobody who manages for me.
I do all of the utility work that comes with being a public musician entity.
There is no middle horse.
And I will not compromise that just to solve these parasocial and social anxiety issues.
still i feel the need to either deal with or humour every whim of people in group ".b" and group ".c", just to avoid coming off as an asshole and to avoid people hurting themselves and others. i don't really know how to solve this honestly. other than just ignoring people or communicating my needs openly, i don't see any other route.
the fact remains that i have been a cunt in the past. i have been extremely toxic and caustic. therefore, i see that part of myself when i consider blocking someone or desiring to make my needs clear and my boundaries transparent. dunno.
i'm extremely tired. and my energy is sucked out by people in groups ".b" and ".c". to the point where i never get to hang out with people in groups ".a" much anymore, the people i really really want to be around and talk to. i want to have energy to actually talk to my friends. but i don't. i'm busy selling my soul i think.
i am slightly antisocial. but mostly i'm tired and like being on my own.
honestly i'd like to know what other people think. and i am in therapy for this and many other things now. but it helps to know what other people think anyway.
sorry this sucks!
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peninkwrites · 1 month
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(putting my very long, very personal ramble under a readmore so folks can avoid it) (this won't include any of my plans for going forward or for my writing but I'm not going anywhere so don't worry about that. love to you all.)
A little disclaimer: If you have zero context for what I'm talking about, apologies for not explaining in depth, but this post won't be relevant to you otherwise. All you really need to know is that it seems that Wilbur Soot is an abuser, and Shubble came forward and talked about it recently. He was not named, but from what she shared, I believe that was who she was talking about. I don't say this to speculate, and if you disagree, I'm not here to argue over it, but it's enough for me personally to not to want to support him indefinitely, save for Shubble explicitly saying she wasn't talking about him.
Additionally, these thoughts are some incredibly personal and self-centered rambling. It does not reflect where my priorities lie, with supporting Shelby for coming forward above all else, but other people have said that much better than I have, and this post is really just a place for me to vent some of my feelings.
I prided myself on not falling prey to “parasocial relationships.” I didn’t get invested in the personal lives of content creators, only in their creative works. I thought this protected me somehow. I knew next to nothing about Wilbur Soot’s personal life, but I admired him deeply as a writer and empathized with him as an artist. I projected so heavily onto his character and did so for over three years. When I waited for his final dsmp stream, I felt panicked. Like my survival hinged on how he ended this story, and then he ended it in a way I could live with, and I thought I could go on loving this story and these characters for what they had been, no matter how messy the rest of the endings to follow were. His character was mine in so many ways. He had some of my problems and I gave him some of my own. I used him to process quite a bit. And now that part of myself is irrevocably tainted.
When the stuff came out about Dream, I was upset, but not betrayed. I never followed the creator and he existed only as a character to me. All I grieved then was the community his actions destroyed and most importantly the people he hurt. I planned to continue writing for the DSMP, even as I refused to follow any content involving him. It felt like a pause, not a full stop, while I ensured what I was doing did not show him any support. I also gave that character no pity and therefore the man behind him no pity, I had no personal investment in his character.
Now my response is visceral and bitter and I don’t know how to go on writing, because this character meant the world to me. I don’t know how to write about a character I truly love and see myself in, knowing the person who also loved and saw himself in that character, who created that character, has done horrible things. I don’t know how to write any of these other characters I have loved and cared for for over 3 years because he has poisoned them. All of it turns my stomach now and I feel so betrayed. The thought of his character is tainted because it’s connected to his voice and his face. I cannot separate the art from the artist both because it was the inclusion of the authorship within the story which affected me so strongly, and because there are things within the text that I look back on now and can only see that this person was always this way. I couldn’t sleep last night. I kept thinking of c!Wilbur’s line when he found out about exile, “he didn’t actually hit you though“ and his horror when c!Tommy responded that he had, that for some reason that was the turning point. The implication that it was only crossing that line, that particular type of violence, which made something wrong. Fucking disgusting.
I’ve tried to find another story before now. For the last few years, honestly, I’ve looked for something to latch onto the way I have with this one, but nothing feels the way this did. I know I’ve been clinging to something gone or at least mostly gone, both the community and the story, but I haven’t known how to let go when nothing makes me feel the same way, even when the feeling has faded and changed so much with time. This was never supposed to go on this long. Honestly, the reason I started posting mcyt stuff to my sideblog instead of my main was because I assumed I would get over it in a few weeks, delete the posts, and move on. Three years. 40 works. Over a million words. Just. Fuck.
I loved these characters so much and I’ve wrapped up my writing in them for so long it’s hard to separate the two. At this point, it feels like these characters are what allow me to write, separate from the main story, but a place where I could work things out for myself as a person and try new things as a writer. And I’ve tried so hard to feel the same way about the QSMP, but maybe it’s because we’re out of lockdown so I don't have time to watch much, or I’ve just changed more than I’ve thought, but I haven't gotten attached the way I did even when I look at the stories being built there and can see the heart in them, the storytelling, the care, just as much as the DSMP if not more. There’s no good reason for it, it just hasn’t locked into place the way this story had, having been the perfect storm of circumstances. The DSMP came to me during one of the worst years of my life, and I have loved it so much I miss that time even with all the bad it carried too.
And now this thing I have been holding onto can only make me angry, hit me with grief and disgust. Fuck, the only plan I’ve had for an original novel in years is a loose adaptation of TDDD. My senior thesis was largely a novella about two siblings with a complicated relationship, the older fatalistic, the younger brave to the point of ignorance. So even that original project has poison in it now. All of it, all of my fucking work, all of my growth as a writer, all of my writing for over three fucking years has poison in it.
I’ve felt lost as a writer for a long time and the only thing keeping me anchored was these characters. And I don’t know how to cut them away from myself and I don’t know how to cut him away from what’s left when his writing, his character, undeniably gave me so much of a spark. When I’m happy, I write. When I’m sad, I write. There's so much bad in the world right now, but I could always fall back on writing. And now my main means of escape is the grief. Far more than ever before. I know this too shall pass and all that, and this hasn’t actually stolen my ability to write, but right now it all feels so ruined. I don’t know how long it will take for me to be able to look back on what I’ve made and not feel like this. I'd maybe moved on in some ways, but not all. There was so much left I wanted to do.
If you’ve somehow read this far, know that I love this community with my whole heart. I never quite made friends with any of you, even as I wanted to, and it's felt too late for a long time now. My beloved mutuals (and followers that are mutuals in all but name) I have found so much joy with you, in what all of you have created. I wish I could hold onto that above all else, even if I’m not quite sure how. I’m not going anywhere, to be clear. I won’t delete my blog and fall off the face of the earth or anything. I still love what all of you create and care about, even if things have changed and our interests don’t always align anymore. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to detach this story from the creator, to love any of it the way I did or even love what I myself created again. I don’t really know why I’m writing this or if I’ll even post it except for the fact that you all are the only people who could understand.
Again, this was a deeply personal rant, not a statement about the situation as a whole, nor do I think this situation's impact on me takes an ounce of precedent over the person actually involved. The most important takeaway from this is what Shelby has shared, the importance of believing victims, to do what we can to protect ourselves from abuse that doesn’t seem obvious, and to look out for each other. Take care of yourselves, everyone.
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spadesolace · 1 year
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do you see me? i can see you
pairings: idol! yeji x fan! reader
trying to avoid falling for the parasocial relationship that forms between an idol and a fan yet somehow failing as you tried pushing it away.
warning/s: a bit of angst from the start, little fluff by the end, and ofc be wary of parasocial relationships.
request: no, just wanted to hurt people a bit with angst honestly
part 2
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‘Do you see me?’ Was what you would have shouted moments ago.
Maybe it's only fanservice, there wasn’t much to it as you watched Yeji perform to her heart’s content. There’s no need to think of her actions as something more than just an idol and fan, she looked at you, sent a flying kiss and a wink then continued on with her work.
It still left you in a daze, you could have just accepted it and went on with your day after the concert, not like Yeji would look at you with love and adoration. Gratitude would be a better expression when you saw her again during a fansign, still it’s only fanservice as you talked about your experience at the concert. Signing on your favorite page and passing on to the next member, again, just an idol and a fan, nothing more to it.
Maybe you were looking too deep into it. Maybe you actually liked Yeji more than just a fan, does not every fan go through that phase? Imagine having a relationship with their idol but you knew the consequences, you knew where this would lead if you continued on. A parasocial relationship with an idol isn’t rare, it’s the most common one to say the least but you can’t accept it, you fell for it.
There you are again, watching her perform on stage, you can still see the passion and gratitude from the first time you watched her. Fanservice was a must and when she laid her eyes on you once again, like the many times you’ve seen her in person, from fansigns, concerts, and fanmeets, it was still the same. Gratitude in her eyes, mouthing you ‘thank you’, sending hearts, and continuing on. You could only watch from afar, you weren’t special, she never said it directly to you even if the others could see it. A fan and an idol… it’ll never work, you could see her but does she see you?
Maybe it’s fanservice. Maybe she’s just thankful to have such a loyal fan. Maybe… it was actually genuine that she saw you amongst the crowd. You never knew, you never made a move, nor did her. How would you know if she liked you like that?
Another fansign, not a surprise you’d be there again, you were dedicated and yet you wish to push those feelings away. The girls knew you about now, they’ve seen you in every event, they wonder how’d you do it when you weren’t a fansite. As you sat in front of the girls, one at a time, each of them asking how you’ve been, your whereabouts, plans for the future, what you liked about the album and concept this time, and sometimes the cheeky relationship questions mostly pointed towards a certain someone.
Sitting in front of Yeji, her ethereal beauty, as if she was carved by God and you were merely looking at a statue, asking the same old question of whether this was reality. There was no need to ask for your name, Yeji already had a nickname for you and it made your heart swell, stomach churning, feeling as if you were about to vomit, but it's nothing, right?
Everything was still the same, asking for your opinion, handing her a gift, laughing at whatever you both said, then Yeji signing her favorite page; you requested it, take it as the last time you might see her before closing the chapter on ITZY.
“You know, how Ryujin got casted because the staff was cute?” You nodded, knowing the story by heart with the amount of jokes that Ryujin likes pretty women.
“Have I ever told you that I like cute things?” Of course you knew, with every gift you gave it was always something cute or something that reminded you of her.
“I think you’re cute, for quite some time now. Well, since we first interacted which was during our first live performance.” You never understood Yeji sometimes, and this was one of them. A few compliments here and there were thrown your way but never really bothered to care. How come Yeji was confessing to you about this now?
“I won’t see you in a while, but I hope we keep in touch.” In bubble, you mostly assume. She gave you your signed album, a sticky note on the page she signed. Only checking the signature once you were back to your seat. Yeji never saw you that way, that’s what you wanted to believe.
Yet seeing her number on the sticky note, maybe she did see you.
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rockybloo · 17 days
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Parasocial relationships are never not going to be crazy to me, especially as someone who makes stuff and shares that stuff online.
Like...I am happy people out there also love my OCs and stories like I do but it super weirds me out to think there are followers out there that could get super attached to me like I am their best friend when all I do is just share things I draw online and then dip out for most of the day.
I think it's a big portion of why I don't even talk about myself and my private life that much save for being in servers with moots and friends so people don't get that attachment from knowing what my personal life is like.
That's def why I always get caught off guard when followers say they love me because I am just like "You love WHAT I do AND my OCs" because I truthfully do not put enough of myself online for anyone to genuinely be able to say they love me. I prefer talking about the fictional characters living in my head rent free.
And I think it's important to have that disconnect between art and artist where you know you love someone's work and understand that that love isn't really for them as a person. It's totally ok to like someone that posts stuff you enjoy but like...always remember the person that makes that stuff isn't your friend.
And it's super important to understand the statement "This creator is not your friend" is not a harsh statement or meant to be hurtful. It's an important reminder to avoid messy situations in the future.
The internet is a series of tubes and boundaries.
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a-strange-inkling · 10 months
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Ew Grace joined a misogynistic org. U still gonna Stan her?
A good time to say my piece on this and then that will be it. I’m a fan blog for fictional characters, not a celebrity commentator.
Not my field of expertise.
Anyway… People are really losing it right now as they do with anything this woman does and the best thing for us to do is handle this all with awareness. Real awareness. Like everyone needs to stop and take a second to think about this, then look at themselves.
First things first, yes I really enjoy and admire Grace as an actress, she brought to life a character I love and strongly connect with. I consider myself a fan of her work and have also witnessed her receiving a disgusting amount of hate for simply existing in the same space as her male co-star because many of his fans behave so atrociously that multiple articles have been written about them. They’ve made subfandom history as one of the most toxic groups of people on the internet.
I’ve always had sympathy for her having to deal with this and constantly having to stand up for herself for a small role connected to a side character. And then, of course, having to deal with the backlash of actually standing up for herself and continuing to dare to have an online presence. Because how dare anyone try to counter lies and unjustified hate about/directed toward themselves?
That being said, I don’t believe in blind loyalty either. Especially for celebrities. We can admire them all we want, but we don’t know them and they don’t know us. They’re not the characters that they play. Grace is not Chrissy. Joe is not Eddie. Grace is a human being that I don’t know in real life. Being a fan is not the same as really knowing someone and being their friend. I don’t believe in parasocial relationships with actors, actresses, musicians etc, it’s not healthy. As much as I enjoy her as an actress, and will speak up for her against unnecessary hate, I don’t have to agree with everything that she does or says. I don’t put her on a pedestal. She’s liable to make mistakes like the rest of us and I don’t think this was a wise or safe decision on her part.
With all the information I have on this current situation (which is not much), I can say that I’m worried for her more than anything else. This woman has gone through the ringer for a full year now and it seems this will just be used as more fuel against her. Whatever she chooses to do professionally, she is met with so much hate and frankly misogynistic hypocrisy. All that negativity worries me the most. She’s young and trying to make a living doing what she loves, so I feel bad seeing things going in the direction that they are presently.
I don’t know much about the gaming community, I’ve avoided it and have always played solo because what I do know is that it can be a very toxic and hate fueled place. Especially for women. After having to deal with what she already has, angry gamers and her own fans turning on her is going to be sad to see. And I’m not saying calling her out on this decision is turning on her, or hating on her, I think people should call out their faves when they do something wrong… it’s just going to be sad to see the discourse that follows this.
For context, for those that don’t know, this organization she’s signed up with has some really bad allegations against it, really bad, and I don’t condone or support anything to do with that.
But this is where the self awareness has to kick in for anyone in fanbase communities or, you know, just going about their daily lives.
What large entertainment organization or company doesn’t have red in their ledger? Tell me honestly. Anything dealing with a big group of people is going to have skeletons in the closet. Not condoning anything, but also trying not to be a hypocrite here, as we all should.
If you watch and enjoy Stranger Things on Netflix, if you’re a Joe Quinn/Eddie fan, you’re supporting a company that’s riddled with scandal, hiring numerous actors, writers, producers and directors accused of s*xual assault. Do you watch Disney? Visit the parks? Wear Sketchers? Any name brand clothes? Buy from Amazon? Wal-Mart? Target? Listen to Taylor Swift? Support or watch anything in Hollywood? Read Harry Potter? Watch the movies? Are you on Twitter? This website? YouTube? Facebook? Eat name brand food? If so, you’re supporting problematic, at best, people, companies, and organizations all around. We all know they’re tied to histories of scandal, hate, controversy, or even criminal activity, yet we keep watching, buying, wearing, listening, eating, consuming and supporting them as a whole. Unless you’re living off the grid, grow your own food, make your own clothes and don’t watch any form media, no one has any room to talk here. No one wants to hear this, but we’re all supporting things we would normally speak out against either consciously or unconsciously. Hollywood and streaming services are full of misogynistic, r*cist, behavior. They’ve hidden countless accusations and protected numerous r*pists since the beginning of film. But we’re still watching their movies and shows. Not saying it’s right, but we should criticize ourselves first before going after one working actress signing a deal with just one of the many bad organizations out there.
Joe recently did a voiceover for an organization that apparently is really problematic. He’s currently working with a big Hollywood film industry that also has some really shady (again, at best) history, but everyone’s going to go watch his movies, aren’t they? His stans are going to keep stanning him. So make sure you anon ask all of them the same question, kay?
Being hateful and criticizing a twenty-six-year-old actress/streamer really should not be anyone’s first steps toward activism or change. Especially if you originally didn’t like her because she’s standing near the favorite white British boy of the month. I’ve said it from the beginning, if you don’t like her or what she’s doing, block her. Unfollow her. Obsessing over her and everything she does is on the same level of intensity as stanning her.
I am disappointed in her decision, I’m worried what this means for her and her fans who’ve been in the trenches for her, but Grace’s decisions are not mine. From what I’ve heard and seen, she said she considered the risks and wants to be apart of rebuilding the organization that is trying to move forward from the allegations last year and be more supportive of female gamers. All I can do is hope that’s true. What they need to do first is call out and condemn the parties responsible for any and all crimes they’ve committed. I hope they do and that Grace will encourage that as she’s signed on with them. If not, I hope she leaves them for her own morals and safety.
This is how I feel on the matter. I’m not going to get into this any further via asks. This blog is for hellcheer content and will continue to be so. I want it to be a safe space. Anything negative in my anon messages will be reported and/or ignored from here on. So keep that in mind. I’m not into drama. If any mutuals just want to talk or vent about this you can always DM me.
🤍
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lily-orchard · 1 month
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I thought my obsession with you was over, but the Tumblr app was being weird when I tried to send you an ask just talking about how much I love your Mikayla appreciation posts (bc she's amazing) and I freaked out. I think I need to work on that still in therapy because I don't wanna be another creepy mother fucker you have to deal with. I swear to God, parasocial obsession with famous ppl is awful. I don't get how others can be chill with it. It can really fuck up your life.
Honestly, even though I'm just gonna avoid your Tumblr for a while I wanted to say thank you. You talking about parasocial relationships and obsession made me realize I was doing that to you. I am so sorry for that. I have stopped even looking at the hate mob's lies because I would get into fights like they insulted my mom. And I remember at one point you saying you don't want us fans going after people you have cut contact with. So I fucked up.
So again thank you for talking about a very real problem, and sorry again for contributing to it. Hopefully, I will get this BS under control quickly. I love seeing your posts.
Good luck in therapy
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destinyc1020 · 6 months
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As a Tomdaya on the bird app, who stans Tom and Z as individuals as well as their relationship, I’d thought I chime in. I agree with the anon that Z is treated very differently on the app than Tom and I find it weird. I think Z fans are very proctevtive of Z, rightfully so but they often fail to view her as a human being and put her on this bizarre pedestal that sometimes removes her humanity as an individual that I can only really compare to to Taylor swift. Disney is the starting block to ownership because a lot of fans either grew up with Z or rewatched her shows on the channel that they are the super fans today. Add in The Greatest Showman, MCU, Euphoria and Dune. Properties with big fan bases. Her music career was also very successful though cut short and had a huge impact. It’s not lost on me of the sheer volume of fame and fans she’s received being strategic and being one of a kind talent.
Tom on the other hand has MCU but really didn’t grow up in the public the way Z did at age 13. Another factor I think is a big contribution to this phenomenon is that Z encourages parasocial relationships with her fans. I didn’t think to much of this because most celebs have social media but most don’t really talk to fans unless their gen z or musicians.
They put Z on puritanical pedestals and remove her humanity.Sometimes I think they forget that they know she lurks on socials and might like or retweets accounts thus creating subfandoms that have relations to Z. Those fandoms are not bad and great if your a fan. But those ones like timdayas, hunterdaya or anyone daya who cut Tom out of everything is just so weird to me. They get annoyed if you make a Tomdaya joke cause she more than her relationship. They’re not wrong but she’s always more than her costars but they never see through that logic because it doesn’t fit their narrative lol.
Timothee used to be parasocial as well, especially at the beginning of his career. He would communicate with fans and actually create a bond with them on socials and real life. Club Chalamet is a result of that lol. After the Eiza situation, he stopped and mainly keeps interactions slim and mainly related to his next project because he saw that lines were being blurred and those fans at the time were judgmental. Idk if you remember the infamous Timothee I trusted you meme because despite general public coming for him, those stans really were doing too much lol. I think that’s why he hid his relationships from his fans because they built this idea of him when he’s just a man in his 20s figuring it out lol.
Tom fans are in three catergories mcu fanboys, Tomdayas like me lol, antis who don’t like Z. His fanbase on twitter is really an amalgamation of Tomdayas who both love Z and Tom but their small compared to Z’s or Timothee. When he gets hate Tomdaya felt the need to defend on his behalf. The reality is Tom doesn’t care. He only uses insta and avoids twitter. He healthy because he live in his own universe. However, he’s not a Paul mescal or Josh O’Connor where his work little or alot can stand out for itself whether he’s likeable or not. A lot of his fame comes from his personality or ip films. I’m aware I missed Billy Elliot, just don’t thinks it relevant on social media. Yes I loved tcr but when the rt score came it was brutal. It was shocking seeing critics who relatively have a niche on films come for him and I was just sad that ppl had this much vitriol despite the fact he’s not problematic. Both film twitter beloved Chris Pine and Chris Evans have critically failure and there’s not hate as much as Tom got that week. One thing as a Tomdaya that muted certain z fans who hate on him is that he really doesn’t care.
Him liking that insta post about him forgetting he’s famous made me realise that as a fan I should not care and just curate my account for my own happiness. I don’t engage tweets about comparison with other actors, z’s exes or costars because I know it’s bait. Toms fanbase is small so I’m happy it’s not as big as other actors. That’s why I think those fans can repost his kissing scenes of intamite scenes cause he doesn’t lurk Twitter and it doesn’t start trending. Z does so when those fans post things about her boyfriend or her exes or costars, they know she lurks and I think that’s weird. Maybe that’s why Tomdayas get on defence lol. I’m aware though some Tomdayas can be cringe. I’m not rewriting history here lol.
That’s my two cents lol. Hope you have a good day xxx
Thnx for your input Anon. 😊
Another factor I think is a big contribution to this phenomenon is that Z encourages parasocial relationships with her fans.
I wouldn't say she encourages it, I just think she wants to try to stay personable with her fans and show them that she's still that kind, down to earth girl from Oakland that they've always known and loved, no matter how "famous" she gets. 😊
I didn’t think to much of this because most celebs have social media but most don’t really talk to fans unless their gen z or musicians.
Well Z IS Gen Z lol 😅
Timothee used to be parasocial as well, especially at the beginning of his career. He would communicate with fans and actually create a bond with them on socials and real life. Club Chalamet is a result of that lol. After the Eiza situation, he stopped and mainly keeps interactions slim and mainly related to his next project because he saw that lines were being blurred and those fans at the time were judgmental.
Well, honestly Anon.... MOST Celebrities (I feel) have realized over the years that the LESS they share of their personal life, the BETTER. If you go back 7 years....even just 5 years....and you were to go back in time and be on IG or Twitter as a fan back then, you would see that Z, Tom, Timothee, shoot....even Austin, Nadia lol, etc. ALL used to be waaaay more personable, engaging, and even posted WAY more on their social media accounts back then compared to now. I think over the years, a LOT of these celebrities (especially the ones who are fairly famous) have all realized just how toxic social media has become in just such a short time, and I think they have figured out that the less they share, the better.
Fans have definitely crossed the line, and these actors have realized that they need to put a boundary again btwn them, their private life, and their fans. That's just my own personal observation and theory. 🤷🏾‍♀️
Him liking that insta post about him forgetting he’s famous made me realise that as a fan I should not care and just curate my account for my own happiness.
I definitely think you should curate your online account for your own happiness and not worry too much about Tom. With that said, while he may have liked that post, we can't say with 100% accuracy that "he doesn't care" about what people say about him. He IS human after all. He might not care about ALL things, but certain things might def be hurtful.
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jyndor · 1 year
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gotta say that midnights seemed slightly off to me from the get go. like I remember thinking the themes felt like a step backwards in terms of emotional growth after folklore and evermore, and bejeweled immediately had my mind going ???? because it was giving me sorry off of lemonade vibes, like not necessarily the same context or sound but something about it kept reminding me of sorry. that like, fuck being taken for granted, I'm gonna go be cute in the club like of thing.
and midnights does have this melancholy thing throughout which resonated with me deeply but it was also hard to swallow question and bejeweled and even tbh maroon and lavender haze (specifically the 1950s shit line from a woman who has never been shy in her music about wanting that traditional fairytale ending, but i just assumed she had grown into understanding that love doesn't have a fairytale ending, its ever evolving and takes on different forms over time).
but knowing what we likely know now, midnights can reflect the deeply complicated and often contradictory way that relationships work and don't work. you don't just go from love to resentment overnight, and sometimes it's both.
and I'm definitely not speculating, have no interest in learning what happened (it's not our business) but I wanted to share my moment of clarity on the album because I finally had it last night. I always liked it, but I couldn't get over how disjointed it felt. now it makes more sense to me.
maybe I have some young followers and I just want to say I've seen some really heartbreaking and concerning behavior from swifties since the news. I'm not gonna shame someone for getting too caught up in a parasocial relationship with a songwriter who has always put a lot of her personal life and emotions into her works, even if they are fictionalized and reworked into something she can sell. it's understandable that people would feel so connected to her, that's her business model. it isn't healthy which is why she's pulled back so much, but its still part of how her brand works. that carefully curated authenticity.
many of her fans are young, literal children. I don't want them to think that this idealized kind of golden love is possible to begin with - it is IDEALIZED. even with how realistic she has made their relationship sound in contrast to the fairytale loves she wrote about when she was younger, we don't know what they were actually like. you don't know. it's like thinking of their relationship as something from fiction, because in many ways what she wrote IS fiction - it's inspired by reality but fictionalized all the same.
there's a study that looked into when relationships tend to end on average. it's five years. it makes sense, after five years people really do know each other for the most part and likely have grown into more mature people. five years is a long time. five years ago I was just getting my esthetics license and now I'm a business owner. I know more about who I am and what my goals are. my goals have changed. sometimes people's goals become incompatible. it's normal and it doesn't make the love any less real.
this was probably her first serious and mature relationship. by all accounts she was at her lowest point when they met, and she's clearly grown a lot in the time since. that is not even taking into account his own journey and growth. again, this is normal and sometimes people can work through those changes, and sometimes people can't. it's not black and white though, it doesn't have to mean that what they had wasn't real love.
we weren't there, we don't know her or him and we shouldn't. taylor lets us see what she wants us to see. she's a mastermind, right? you don't know her and this is a great example of that. so hopefully younger fans especially can take some time to reflect on how to set better boundaries in the future to avoid feeling so hopeless and full of grief over someone else's relationship.
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aaronexplainsitall · 10 months
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Listen some of this Taylor nonsense is reminiscent of 1989 era to me where it was very much “everyone is bullying me/shading me” etc and I just… I can’t do it again 🤦🏻‍♀️ but also as someone that’s witnessed most of her career it’s not shocking to me like the harsh reality is she only speaks up about what impacts/effects her and I think newer swifties don’t get that at all
I only half agree with this, if I'm being totally honest. For the avoidance of doubt, I don't agree with her position right now at all: I think she's misguided and that for the first time in ages, she's doing serious damage to her own career, which is sad to watch, and I hope it doesn't get substantially work.
To be fair, before this I was a fan of the 1975 and I had no idea that Matty Healy was who he is, I thought he was just an eccentric weirdo who said dumb shit. The things that have come out about him as a result of his relationship with Taylor, however, are revolting and I wouldn't be able to be in a relationship with someone who said those things (irrespective of whether he actually thinks them or just said them for shock value). I don't agree with or sympathise with what she's doing.
However, nothing is black and white. I think there are explanations (but not excuses) for her actions - she's evidently going through a devastating loss, and that can lead you to act irrationally and do things which aren't in your character. That said, the flip side is that as a public figure, you have a platform which comes with responsibility and she's not taking that responsibility seriously at the moment, which is disappointing.
To your point though, I will say that she's often spoken out about things which don't affect her - her discussion of LGBTQ+ rights during the Lover promo was shallow, but I think it was a sincere attempt to affect societal change. Also her endorsement of the democratic senator for Tennessee in the 2019 race led to a marked uptick in votes (even though he did eventually lose). I'm not sitting here and arguing that Taylor's an activist, and I think her words have been hollow, but I generally believe that she's trying and that she's just misguided or uninformed in this area.
None of those are reasons not to hold her accountable - she's a 33 year old woman who should have educated herself better - but it's an explanation that I think we're collectively currently overlooking.
Ultimately, I think that if you have a deeply parasocial relationship with any celebrity, you're going to be let down by them. For the most part, celebrities are divorced from the reality that the rest of us have to live in and the mass amounts of wealth that they hold breeds ignorance of real world struggles. There are exceptions to that rule but Taylor isn't (and never has been) one of them.
My advice is not to get invested in any celebrity's moral standing because you'll almost certainly be let down. I love Taylor's music so much (more so than any other artist) and I enjoy the work she creates, but I don't feel invested in her as a person in any deeper way than I hope that she's happy, healthy and makes good (/better) choices.
Anyone who's been following me since 2014 and the O*e D*rection days (back when I was relevant on Tumblr rip me) knows this is quite the gear shift from the way that I used to engage with fandom, but it's one that's made it provably and demonstrably easily to have a healthy interest in the artists I love without feeling in any way emotionally affected by their poor choices.
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absolutebl · 2 years
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I’ve been watching BL for about 3+ years now and consumed my fair share of series and I have to say the actors’ responsibilities to their characters/series off set is starting to feel very “gay for pay”. What I mean is the majority of the actors, in my opinion, seem very obviously straight but the shipping culture, rabid fans delusions on their personal lives, and requirements to always appear like a couple when In public (fan meets, interviews, reaction videos of their work, variety shows, selling products on live, etc.), make it so that they must always be “on” even upon wrapping their series and this makes me veryy uncomfortable and I feel bad for them. It takes the artistry or this is work element out of what is clearly just a job. I for one try to avoid most of the “IRL” stuff actors do outside of the series itself bc it’s makes me just so uncomfortable and embarrassed…. On another note, it seems like many of these actors take on BL to break into the industry. Is there much success in a popular BL actor pivoting into “mainstream” or non BL celebrity? Bright Vicharawit seems to be doing well and Mew Suppasit. Although I hate to say Mew’s career pivot rubs me entirely the wrong way bc I feel like he didn’t bow out of BL gracefully but used BL and the popularity of his shipped couple and dropped it all like a bad habit trying to erase its existence from his history... I’m sorry my bitter might be showing on that last bit haha. I hope I made some sort of sense. Thanks!
Yes, it's weird, creepy, and exploitive - from all sides. That's why I avoid all the fan service stuff.
With respect to Thai actors? I actually don't know if BL can be seen as "breaking in" since BL the big guns of the industry there. Where else is there to go? Het dramas are less popular, at least outside of the country. Not sure what's going on internally.
Presumably, Mew is getting this chance, and it's a big one, because he looks, well, like Mew (very appealing to a Korean aesthetic), and also I'm assuming speaks Korean well enough to get by. Also, he was always a very very ambitious boy, that one.
I won't blame him entirely for anything tho, MAME's actors seem to have it the worst.
I have my reservations about Korean BL too. I think some of the boys *think* they are getting a leg up but... still too short to ever be leading men material (by Korea's standards). Especially the idols. (”Ieg up” ... see what I did there?) And I think doing BL there can still do more harm than good because of the homophobia (like what happens in China). I think some of the working actors who happened into BL (like the To My Star Boys) seem to be realistic and have fun about it, but they're both established in themselves as people and as actors BEFORE the fandom happened to them.
Japan and Taiwan it's just another job. There seems to be neither weight nor stigma (these days, it was different a decade ago). You can gain a bit of international cred and some sweet modeling and sponsorship deals (see the Cherry Magic boys) and maybe a follow up gig in the form of a movie or whateves, but that's more like just... being part of a successful show.
I don't know, kids becoming celebrities. It's never gonna be pretty, that gruesome combination of performative ego, accelerated attention and wealth, parasocial relationships the then add.... fake dating the same sex in a largely hostile society.
Can't imagine any of these youngsters come out not borked in the head.
Now the ones like MaxTul or even, maybe, MileApo who clearly talked about this and how to handle it with each other, and have some kind of game going on (with each other and us as fans), and entered the situation more grown up aware and mature age-wise (and therefore somewhat fixed in ego and personality) - I don't worry so much about them.
But mostly, since PerthSaint went south what, 4 years ago was it? Yeah, it's ALL creepy.
That's enough of this kinda gossip.
(this post from this one on my reservations about pair branding)
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sketching-shark · 1 year
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Im kinda am getting annoyed how much they r avoiding saying swk actual name. Like whats the point of him having a name if the show is not gonna refer to him with his name besides having moments of characters chastising him using his first name. Ie: just yelling out wukong.
Liek i want to here his various other titles besides monkey king. Its pretty weird how they’re solely just calling him monkey kings when hes just 1 of many monkey kings :/
Sometimes, i wonder if they knew that they could have kept swk w all of complex characteristics without having to downplay any of it so they can uplift mk. (Mk is such a amazing character dont get me wrong i do adore him. But it suck that in a equivalent exchange of a good character we get a frankly a worse vers of sun wukong.
Like not even other versions of swks ever acted(or granted made such repeated mistakes) like how lmk swk do. Like theres no one defending him within the shown(mk doesn’t count bc literally thats his teacher. But even he himself doesn’t realize he’s afraid of becoming like swk.) and as much as lmk writers, producer etc etc. want, they have to actually have to show swk’s side. Bc by the time lmk is over, its going to v hard to give him justice when almost everyone have a right idea of keeping him away bc how much hes a danger to everyone.
I also am a lmk LEMH hater forever. i just think he shouldn’t of have that type of importance to swk when hes just a dude w a pent up superiority/inferiority (he can have both bc yea)complex thats in a parasocial relationship to swk. Like sure he died and all but so did all the other demons in jttw. Hell he didn’t got the vore kill treatment like other demons like azure lion did.
Monkie Kid spoilers below
AWETTHGRFRWETETFGDSD THE VORE KILL TREATMENT THAT'S A PHRASE THAT WILL STICK WITH ME FOREVER ANON.
But YEAH this is a pretty good summary of many things said before anon...in particular it's genuinely disheartening how Qi Xiaotian's experiences have brought him from a state of being excited at the thought he could be like Sun Wukong to now being terrified that he's destined to be like the Monkey King...but then again how could be not be. We're now 4 seasons in and everything just gets worse and worse for the little monkey lego man in large part because of the things his shifu did or failed to do. At this point even with the hints of the torture headband making a significant appearance, trying to defend or even understand SWK's actions in the present kind of seems like a fool's errand, and I genuinely am worried that no backstory Flying Bark gives their version of the Monkey King will provide a satisfactory reason for why he acts the way he does. As it is there's been a pretty consistent flow of popular fan works about the Monkey King getting punched & yelled at & portrayed as completely in the wrong, and well I do not see that ending any time soon given the events of canon material :(
As always I want to note that I'm fully capable of being too negative and pessimistic & forgetting the good sides of SWK's lego show character and that yeah obviously there's a lot of other characters running around with more antagonistic intentions (including perhaps this mysterious person who may be behind Azure Lion being freed as part of some greater scheme). But between this already firmly established characterization of SWK as a liar who's ideas routinely end in nothing but catastrophe for even those he loves and the show itself pretty clearly having little interest in including SWK in the story's adventures outside of an explodey ending or being a problem that needs to be dealt with because of his disastrous decisions (given how much he keeps getting shoved out of the plot), well...you can see why many people think this could easily end with even Qi Xiaotian thinking Sun Wukong is a lost cause.
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scrunchieandawig · 4 months
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Sometimes fan reactions to t’s personal life remind me of how people are with more famous pop stars, but on a much smaller scale. Like when they’re with the person, they go overboard hyping them up all in the name of supporting the person they’re a fan of. Then when they break up and write a song revealing how bad it actually was, they get their pitchforks out and pretend they were never a fan in the first place and always knew that person was bad news all along. It’s so exhausting and parasocial but under no circumstances does anyone need to act like a fan or defend someone, let alone a negative rude man like that so much. It’s like they claim he’s private so he’s not allowed to be criticized but that argument didn’t even work considering he’s now made several shows starring himself and his social media is public and he likes and reposts fan content. I think he always said that he didn’t want to be in the spotlight to act above it and avoid any potential speculation but this isn’t Joe regular with a normal job who accidentally ended up with someone famous. He specifically dated t because he’s obsessed with reality tv, her admission not mine which wow yikes, and he’s constantly posting selfies with celebrities. He’s clearly a fame chaser. They literally got back together to make a documentary after it was pretty clear t was going to win so he could call himself a producer for the first time. He’s wanted the fame and attention, but was afraid of the very valid potential criticisms that come with it.
I think since t’s fans went overboard hyping him up too much after the shower and have been overly nice it has all gone to his head and now the second season is all about him with even more focus on their personal life. All to the detriment of t’s health but he’s made it clear he does not put her feelings first. Also that’s the name of the game when in a relationship with someone famous. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. He wouldn’t have a job or a place to live if it wasn’t for t and the least he could do is be nice to her but as we know that seems to be impossible for him with the constant put downs.
Not to mention we’ve seen how he is with her on the show and in the background of her videos and his responses online that backup all of t’s bad stories. It just confirms all concerns. She’s not making this up for the fun of it? Especially since most of the time she’s trying to joke about things to justify it when it clearly upsets her. I actually think if t was more famous or a woman and people heard everything she says, there would be more outcry. But it’s like she’s in the weird middle place of fame where her relationship isn’t the most interesting aspect about her so it’s ignored unless you’re really paying attention, which is harder not to do these days since everything is becoming about him. Plus this disappointing need by some to pretend all gay relationships are prefect for the sake of representation of whatever. I just know when it all blows up, and I have to believe it will because how can anyone survive this situation forever (don’t actually answer that I’m too sad to think of the alternative) then a lot of people will come around and admit they noticed things too but were too afraid to say. Which I guess as long as they wake up to it eventually even if it’s extremely frustrating to witness right now. That’s the double edge sword with relationships like this on display, because when you open it up to the world, the the good and bad and ugly comes out. And I refuse for something bad and ugly like this to be normalized.
read to filth!!! yeeees! the thing with celebrities is they tend to be PR trained to not say anything *too* personal, meanwhile T's career is essentially oversharing. and thank you for pointing out that he is a public person but also wants to pretend he isn't. exhausting. red side of the moon is no more. see, i think the attitude he has towards her is actually directly linked to his insecurity because of how much more talented T is than him. and yes, there is no reason to think that T is making it up or exagerating in any way. if anything, she's probably leaving out a lot and toning down the little she does say.
we've talked about how different their relationship would be viewed if T was a woman, but it's definitely worth reiterating. this also plays into people hyping up D even though he doesn't really have any charisma (in my opinion) and the fact that the bar for queer relationships is on the ground. it's so upsetting that we're so starved for queer representation that objective red flags are suddenly invisible.
i also don't think it can last. T is so smart and is constantly working on herself and, honestly, i just want to believe in her! she is aware of the optics of his behaviour, she seems to be aware of a lot of the problems and i think it's just a question fo time before she decides she has had enough
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tavyliasin · 4 months
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Boundaries and Parasocial Relationships (I will only say this once)
This is the ONLY post I will be making on the matter, so please feel free to skip if you do not want to hear it again, and don't worry you don't need to hide me to avoid discourse - the rest of my content will remain firmly with only SMUTFIC FAN FUN.
So let's start with the simple. Actors, performers, celebrities: They are PEOPLE with LIVES. They are not CHARACTERS. Paying them for a service does not include the right to cross their boundaries. Just like tipping someone working food service does not give you a pass to harrass them either.
If you feel the need to request something smutty from an actor/celebrity, STOP. THINK. THIS IS WHAT FAN CREATORS ARE HERE FOR!
I'm not saying that you can act inappropriately towards fan creators, I'm saying that those of us making NSFW content are already prepared to hear the horny requests, the thirst comments towards the characters on our posts, the headcanons and self inserts and all of that. Of course you should never expect a creator to make your ideas into fic or art, and asking politely is always preferred. Whilst fic writers generally cannot take paid commissions, artists can and do, so you should also consider commissioning what you want to see and never expect art for free. Sometimes we hear a good idea, though, and get really inspired! We draw or write it because we hear it and thing "well yes darling actually that's very hot" or even "that sounds like a challenge, it could be fun!"
For anyone still confused about what is appropriate or not, please read this article about Parasocial Relationships
It is important to recognise for your own mental health when fandom is going too far, and to keep the right boundaries for everyone. It is very easy to get carried away with excitement, especially when some performers might share a few risqué pieces of art or content, but when they're sharing it like that it is on their terms, on their time. Making requests during a live stream or through cameo is not the same. I'd also add to think before sharing any NSFW art, fic, or other creations directly to performers - if they haven't asked for it don't send it. Don't tag them in it, either - they have families, careers, and may not want to be as visibly linked to literal porn. If they're looking for that content and want to see it, they will find it. That also applies to sharing other peoples' NSFW creations to the performers or tagging them in replies - unless they specifically state they want to see the content, don't.
FINAL NOTE
This fan community has so much potential. We have proven we can be awarded "Community of the Year". We can love and support one another, we can keep each other safe, we can be a rock in the storm and the cheerleading squad that each other need in so many situations. Let's keep it that way. Be kind, to each other and to the performers. Remember, the words on the screen are not written by unfeeling robots, we are all very real people with thoughts and emotions and lives. Now go out there. Make the world a brighter place, and keep creating the fan content we all love so very dearly, darlings, but do it right.
SAFE, SANE, CONSENTING. Check in on the safety, mental health, and boundaries in all of your interactions.
And one last time, to learn more about parasocial relationships and how to handle interactions with famous people:
Click Here for the full article.
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sosweetly · 11 months
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Finally listening to WBN ep 4 because the Fireside dropped yesterday and oh my GOD I haven’t loved a story this much in so long!
I’ve avoided getting into fandoms or parasocial relationships basically since childhood because my poor little 2e self suffered a ton of trauma around it in my younger days. So working on letting myself loudly, unabashedly love something without masking my enthusiasm or hiding it away in private feels so so healing. 🥰
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