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#because I can guarantee I have missed it!!
verstappen-cult · 2 days
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Max is upset when you can't be at his side when the race weekend starts. Then when you're back to his side, I guarantee you can't not leave his side at all. This boy is going to stick with you like a koala till he's satisfied
You couldn't join Max the past weekend in Australia due to your work and now you regret it so much. You could’ve just asked your boss for a few days off and she would have said yes, and you could have been by his side during the fiasco that was the Australian Grand Prix.
Max was a little upset when you told him that you would not be in Australia, but after a long conversation — that ended up with you promising to be in Suzuka — he understood. 
Max has to make a quick stop in Monaco to pick a few things before flying to Japan, so you planned to wait for him with a delicious dinner and his favorite dessert. But you didn’t even have time to go to the grocery store because Max decided to arrive earlier, much earlier.
“What do you mean you’re outside?” You squeal, putting on your sneakers. “Outside of where?” You hold your phone between your cheek and shoulder as you grab your bag, waving goodbye to your friends.
“The pilates studio.” He simply says. 
“No, you’re in Australia.”
He laughs, “No, I’m in Monaco.”
“No becau—” You stop dead in your tracks when you step outside because he is, in fact, there, leaning against his car. “Max!”
He opens his arms and you don’t waste any time, colliding against his body. You drop everything just to wrap your arms around his shoulders.
“I missed you so much.” You whisper against his neck, and you feel his smile when he kisses your cheek. 
“I couldn’t stay there any longer,” He shrugs, grabbing your things from the floor. “I missed my lucky charm this weekend.”
Your smile fades at the memory of Sunday’s race. “I’m sorry for what happened.” Max shrugs again, dismissing the topic with a wave of his hand. “How are you feeling?”
“These things happen. I won’t lie and say that I don’t care but we can’t cry about it, the team’s working on fixing everything and we’ll be back stronger than ever.”
You kiss him because there’s nothing else you could do. Hearing him talk that way when you know the old Max would have been beating himself up means everything to you.
“What was that for?” He chuckles when you pull away, a faint blush on his cheeks. 
“What? I can’t kiss my boyfriend now?” He rolls his eyes but leans to leave a chaste kiss on your lips. “Can you drop me off at the grocery store? I need to buy a few things for dinner.”
You fall into an easy conversation as he drives through the streets of Monaco. He tells you about everything that's wrong with the car and what they’re doing to fix those issues and, in return, you tell him what you’ve been doing in his absence, and how much the cats miss him. 
Soon enough, you reached your destination. 
“Okay, I won’t be long. You can go home and—what are you doing?”
“I’ll come with you.”
“No, you’re going home to rest.” But he doesn’t listen. Max just gets out of the car, opens the door and helps you out. “Max.”
He groans, “I just,” He drops his head slightly forward. “I missed you so much, I don’t want to leave you.”
Your heart melts and you can’t say no to him, not when he’s looking like a lost puppy in front of you, so you simply take his hand, dragging him inside.
Of course you don’t miss the way his whole face lights up. 
You end up arguing in the milk aisle because Max doesn’t leave your side, not when you try to move away to grab something you need and definitely not when you bump into one of your friends who you haven’t seen in a while, so you’re unable to hug her. 
The argument ends with you pinned against the store shelves with Max whispering filthy things in your ear. You only pull away when the store manager clears his throat saying that “if you don’t stop right now, you’re gonna be banned for life.”
You think that once at home Max will want to take a rest, forgetting about you, but, to your surprise, he just takes a quick shower before joining you in the kitchen. 
You cook dinner together, with a few kisses and ear scratches to the cats. And then you eat together, talking about everything and nothing at all, enjoying each other’s company. 
Of course Max doesn’t let you shower alone, he joins you there too.
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shotmrmiller · 2 days
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oh my god I NEED MORE BABYDADDY!MECHANIC SIMON IM BARKING LIKE A DOG WOOF
he's a baby daddy first, that maybe purposefully baby traps you because you were starting to pick up on his insanity and it's guaranteed you'd leave him and so he figured you can't-- or better yet-- won't if you're pregnant because you also grew up in a fatherless home, watching mama struggle to make ends meet.
babies don't make a marriage but it makes a family and it's hard to not love how overprotective he usually is now that your hormones are all over the place.
he retires, probably forced to because there's a ringing in his head that is starting to throw him off kilter, and he started having ibuprofen for breakfast instead of toast. "go back to your family, simon, your duty is done," price had said. he'd been so furious that he had taken his english equivalent to the dd-214 and fucking booked it without a goodbye.
spent weeks on the road, with the stars above his helmet and the moon as his only companion until the treads on his tires practically disappeared altogether. along the way, he had to get his bike fixed and the prices had his wallet screaming for mercy, so he decided to start fixing his own stuff.
comes home when the tod is walking and packs y'all up cuz there's a beautiful, quiet town he drove past during his manic episode. "you and the kid will like it there, swear it."
you do until you don't, until simon doesn't want another kid and doesn't want a dog either. "too much crying, the goddamn thing will bark all night." starts spending too much time elbow deep in grease and not enough with the child he practically forced upon you, so you pack your shit and go.
he lets you go too, cuz there's a tracker on your car and your phone. put one in the kid's car seat and inside of your purse. johnny being his psycho best friend keeps an eye on you for him because he's got nothing better to do. ain't no lover of his own because his heart belongs to his job.
it's johnny who tells him that there's someone that's potentially interested in you and the bairn, and the rest is history.
bloody knuckles, missing person, you question him and he's like i sure did, lovie. you can leave me but you'll never be with anyone else 🤷🏻‍♀️
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darcydoesfuckall · 1 day
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Why you should write that AO3 comment:
Hello! I am an AO3 author and professional fandom dipshit. This is an "essay" on why you should leave that comment on the fanfic you just read.
Table of Contents:
"Commenting is too much effort!"
"I don't know what to write!"
Do you want more fanfic?
Fan creators are human beings, not AI content generators.
You can count it as charity work on your metaphysical taxes.
"Commenting is too much effort!"
Yes, writing a comment takes energy. I'm an introvert, I get that. I have two counter arguments to this point.
AO3 comments are not the SAT:
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This is a comment from my latest fic, Quantum Entangled.
Three words and a heart. It requires zero consideration, it isn't specific to the fic, it's something you could copy-paste, even. A comment like this is better than nothing. I'll let my reply from AO3 explain why:
"You know what, I appreciate this way more than you'd probably expect. The temptation to lurk is a strong one, both for social anxiety reasons and internet content-consumption culture reasons. But when people lurk, I can't tell that they've enjoyed the story. The more people that lurk instead of interacting, the more I assume that my work wasn't good enough, irrespective of the reader's actual feelings. So this was a very welcome comment to read. Thank you for indicating your enjoyment. I will endeavour to write more stuff for you to lurk on in the future. :)"
A comment like this, one that is as thoughtless and low effort as possible, is still a comment. Something that denotes a reader's interest. Because, and I can't be clear enough about this, I HAVE NO OTHER WAY OF KNOWING THAT YOU LIKED IT. Kudos and comments are my only window into the reader's experience.
Sure, I'd love more detailed and thorough comments on my work, but, if that expectation is the thing that's going to stop you from commenting at all, I'd prefer the bland copy-paste appreciation.
Onto my second argument.
Do you know what also takes effort? WRITING THE DAMN FIC:
You do not get to complain about being forced to type a congratulatory handful of words after reading that 200k slow-burn fantasy au. Do you know how many hours went into that thing? Do you? Because I can guarantee that it was A LOT. All that writers are asking for is a single emoji. A kudos, at the very least. Consider the effort that went into the creation that you've just experienced and give just a thimble full of it back.
Authors lay out a feast for you to devour. They're only requesting a "thank you".
"I don't know what to write!"
Like in the previous example, an AO3 comment can be as simple as three words saying that you appreciated it. Just an acknowledgement that you were there. It doesn't have to be fancy.
But if you want fancy...?
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Here's one of my comments, from Tishae's Better Together.
Let me break it down for you.
"Stunning. This au is so well developed. I love how you managed to maintain tension after the point that they discover that their feelings are requited. This was brilliantly paced, and the action (esp the ending) was so engaging."
The comment opens with appreciation. (Think of it as a sandwich with love as the bread. It starts and ends with my enjoyment.)
There are specific details about what I liked.
"If I may ask, what was the crime that the Metatron committed? Maybe I'm bad at reading between the lines or maybe I missed something, but I'm really curious as to what dirt they have on him. Victimless? Bad enough for imprisonment, but not so morally reprehensible as to make Anathema reveal it? Did he embezzle? That's all I can really think of."
Continues with a specific question about the story and plot.
Shows that I was critically engaged and actively considering the story.
You don't have to have questions about every fic that you read, but don't be afraid to ask them if you do. I love it when people ask me about my work.
"Thank you for the delicious food. I honestly thought that you were going to have Crowley's final look be something in grey (black and white being the theme of the show, metaphorically representing separation/binary, so Aziraphale was uncomfortable with it due to the implications. Grey, symbolising unity/shades of grey as an idiom, would then be the biggest middle finger to the Metatron) but I do really like what you came up with."
Gratitude.
Thoughts about how I read the plot. (This is something I particularly love to read as an author. Please tell me what's going on in that funky lil' brain of yours!!)
"I'm hoping this comment provides plenty of dopamine. If the task activation and instant gratification parts of your brain light up, you might be more likely to write GO content again. Love your work, thanks for sharing it. I hope you gain 3 inches of metaphorical dick length. Please keep writing."
Encouragement to keep writing. (This is the best way to ensure that creators remain in the fandom)
A funny comment to sign off.
Now that you know what to comment, let's start on the real reasons why you should.
Do you want more fanfic?
Fun fact! Fanfictious Authoria are a species that sustain themselves entirely on a diet of brain worms, unfinished WIPs, and kudos. As one of the three fundamental food groups, removing kudos from the fandom ecosystem causes a complete collapse of the natural order. In times of unprecedented scarcity, entire populations of Fanfictious Authoria can die out completely. This means that the production of fanfiction, in that particular region of fandom, stops entirely, often causing major ecological damage, and the subsequent deaths of fan species in the same genus. (Like the Fanfictious Artia, or the Fanfictious Editour, both of which subsist on fanfiction based diets to survive.)
In conservation efforts, experts are imploring readers to donate kudos and comments toward any fandom region that they want to stay alive.
But I digress.
When I want more content, I tell the author. Ask and you shall receive; it's the best way to convince an author/artist to make more.
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My comment on @mrghostrat's And They Were Streamers
You liked it? Then COMMENT! Not for the author's sake, but for your own. You want to see the ending of a WIP? Well, it'd be a terrible shame if the author gave up on it because they thought no one was reading... They don't know that you enjoy their work until you TELL THEM. They're not psychic, you have to help them hear you. Commenting on the things you like influences the creators of said things to attribute the act of making content (and, notably, making the type of content that specifically appeals to you) with the dopamine hit of reading your reaction. Treat them like Pavlov's dogs. Ring the kudos-bell.
Fan creators are human beings, not AI content generators.
They have real human feelings and real human egos. The contemporary attitude towards media engagement is skewed towards algorithmic, instant, and uncritical consumption. This is pumping straight gasoline into the beautiful lakes of our fandom ecosystem. Fandom cannot afford to treat its creators like mechanical text generators. We are not an unfeeling assembly line, only there to produce content. We are enthusiasts, engaging in our hobby. No fan creator has to show you anything. They are fully within their rights to keep their works hidden in their computer files, never to see the light of day. Every fanfic on AO3 is only there because someone had the grace to share it with you. You are not entitled to an author's work, just as they are not entitled to your kudos. We have a mutually beneficial arrangement. Do not forget your part in this symbiosis.
It's a problem that extends beyond AO3. Tumblr is a less enthusiastic place than it used to be. Fandom as a whole is drifting towards a consumption mindset. I, for one, am sick of it. Reblog things, like them, share them. Make fanart of fanart. Who gives a shit? Do the cringy thing. You don't have to cultivate your blog aesthetic. Be who you are, like what you like, and have enthusiasm about all of it. Fandom should be an expression of radical self acceptance. Embrace it. Leave essays about fics that you liked. Reblog the essays of other's when you see them. Exist in the mutual joy of seeing and being seen. You are not just an external observer, absorbing content from a distance. You are here too. Wave back at us. Say 'hi.'
You can count it as charity work on your metaphysical taxes.
My final appeal is a moral one.
Commenting on AO3 is just a kind thing to do.
You are your actions. Are you the kind of person who does the kind thing when no one is watching? When no one will care?
Fanfiction is a hobby, and I'm not here to guilt you about how you spend your leisure time. I'm only here to say that there is a kindness you could be giving the world.
If you are one of the people that performs this kindness, I thank you.
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terriwriting · 20 hours
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Hi. My name is Terry and I went into debt during the pandemic lockdowns. Some of it was because I had to break a lease to escape a building the landlords were turning into a slum (elevator was broken for nearly a year, roaches overran the place, next door neighbour was throwing coke parties all night). For a while things were okay, but then the rising cost of living and rising interest rates made that debt unsustainable. Now I'm lurching from one crisis to the next and I need to get out from under this debtload before it crushes me. Everything donated to this fundraiser will go directly to paying down that debt, because it is the single biggest problem in my life and makes every other problem worse.
I actually owe over $10,000, but I have one Guaranteed Investment Certificate left over from years ago when I was able to save money. That matures in August and I've already made arrangements with my bank to have it applied directly to my debt. The GIC is for just over $7,000, which leaves me with $3,000+ to pay off somehow.
Currently I make just enough to cover bare minimums (rent, utilities, groceries) and if I can get extra shifts I can keep up on interest payments. But if I can't get those extra shifts or if I miss a shift I fall further behind. And sometimes I get enough to pay the interest, but I get it too late in the month to pay by the due date and still end up being charged a late fee. For a while I was making headway on the debt, then the cost of living went up and I was just breaking even. Then both the cost of living and interest rates went up and now I'm barely hanging on by my fingernails.
I have tried to make up the difference by cutting back. I've reduced my phone and internet services to the lowest levels available, and I try to keep my power usage to a minimum. Water is included in my rent but the area I live in is in drought conditions and water bills are going up. Property taxes are also going up in the region. My rent will probably go up at the end of my lease, whether I stay in this place or try to find a new one. Every apartment in this city is too expensive now, and my landlords have actually been comparatively reasonable in raising rent.
The cost of living has gone up too fast for me to keep up with, and I can't make my interest payments or reduce this debt on my own. Every small setback becomes a crisis, and I've made two posts here to cover things like vet bills and end of month bills. If I can reduce my interest payments immediately and reduce my debt over the next few months, I can get out of this spiral. If I can't, I'm going to keep tripping from one crisis to the next until I fall completely.
It's not all bad news. I have a couple of ongoing writing projects that might actually earn some money. My cats are healthy (thanks to everyone who donated to my previous fundraiser). And I have an apartment that is close enough to shopping and work that I don't need a car. I'd be doing alright if not for this debt. So: Everything donated to this fundraiser will go directly to paying down that debt, because it is the single biggest problem in my life and makes every other problem worse.
Thank you for reading this.
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demigods-posts · 2 months
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percy and annabeth's depature on mount saint helens affected them both very deeply, and i love for the show to capitalize on it. specifically, during percy's return to camp. i loved to see him fixate on annabeth rushing toward him amidst a crowd of campers. i'd love to see annabeth hug percy so hard, he stumbles backward. i'd love to see percy wraps his arms around her waist in tearful relief that she made it out alive. and i'd especially love to see the surrounding campers fall silent at their reunion because something definitely happened between those two.
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justa-moth · 8 months
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throws this like a pokeball and runs away
youtube
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skyburger · 19 days
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i love reading things set in countries that i'm knowledgeable and/or have been to because i can point out really minor errors in fanfiction. i think the average american does not know that in england (and apparently some of asia! which i only just found out) there are switches on power outlets so you can just turn it off instead of unplugging it. like 9 times out of 10 that won't come up but on the off chance it does i'm like ohoho. this clown has never been to england...! my favorite part though is watching americans (specifically americans because i swear to god people who speak english as a second language and/or are from any other country have some idea of what it's like to have an accent / personally know people who have accents? idk) try to write british accents like it is REALLY funny. i literally only lived their for five years and i never picked up a full accent myself (certain words and tones i did but they're mostly gone after living in the states again for a few years) but between living there and having a ridiculous amount of family there & visiting them often (like once a year if im lucky) i like KNOW what british accents sound like. i think some americans genuinely dont even know theres more than one or two english accents i think some people think there's like posh english and chav english and nothing else. maybe scottish accent gets thrown in there if they remember the uk is not in fact just england. i would bet real money they've never heard a welsh accent. anyway my point is it's really funny watching people who don't know as much as i do write this stuff. like i see it and i understand how doctors read this and go Oh that is so medically inaccurate. i get them now. anyway i dont remember what my point here was but please know if you are attempting to write a british accent. reddit and youtube are your best friends if you don't have a british friend you can ask and also rest assured even if you do ONE google search. it will not be the worst attempt ive seen guaranteed
#muffin mumbles#idek what the definitive worst one ive seen is#but ive seen some baaaaad ones#favorite example though is in the fucking jjba dub.#like thats not even a fan / indie project thats a real professional thing people were paid to do?!?! and the accents. are fucking TERRIBLE#please im begging you. you dont need to hire famous american voice actors for this. just go to any pub in the whole of england#and i can guarantee youd get better results accent-wise.#speedwagon's accent is easily the worst in part 1 like if you want examples lemme know cause i have some. its so bad. its really bad#but also so so funny#joseph in part 2 is. MARGINALLY better than most of the part 1 cast#not good. far from it. but an improvement#anyway hearing speedwagon say anything especially in part 1 (hes calmer in part 2 and he sounds better (not good. better)#like hes better in part 2 but not by much and only sometjmes.)#hearing this painfully obvious attempt at an american doing a cockney(?) (cant even tell for sure) accent complete with misused slang.#is SO fucking funny#like i showed me mom and she said it was worse than dick van dyke in mary poppins and shes not even wrong#and the slang isnt even like. irs not even super uncommon slang and i dont think its used wrong technically (iirc) but it just sounds so#painfully unnatural. please i am begging them to just hire british people next time. i promise you there are british voice actors#that being said i am still incredibly sad they just gave everyone american accents from part 3 onwards because i miss the awful accents#i miss them dearly.#the main benefit to this imo is that now joseph joestar despite living in england for the first almost twenty years of his life#just got this full blown american accent after living in new york. like i know he did not pick that up naturally#i KNOW dude watched stupid fuckinf tv shows to practice his accent. i know he sounded like a cartoon mobster and suzie q was like jojo.#please for the love of god. you cannot start talking like this. go back to being british#alas he did not listen. but he did drop the mobster thing (sadly.)#anyway this is really unrelated but if joseph was not old as fuck when it started airing i think he wouldve gotten a kick outta seinfeld.#like if the years lined up that wouldve been his main show to practice his american accent to the point people are like hey you kinda sound#like jerry seinfeld. and hes like hah i wonder how that happened!#hes a massive fucking loser is what im saying. hes like my weirdo great uncle joseph joestar#anyway. got really off topic. thank you for watching remember to SMASH that like button
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aylunas · 9 months
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sometimes it makes me really annoyed how fast the male characters in genshin become favoured by fans lmfao it’s so unfair 😭
#male character has a sad past: fans make intricate soulful art and fanfics abt them for years#female character has sad past: fans are like awwwwww:( and then forget abt them#like i can GUARANTEE u kaveh will have content created for him even months and months after his release#shenhe content after her story quest??? crickets. silence.#i would even argue that shenhe’s story was WAAAAAAAY sadder and heartbreaking but 🙄#idk it’s just so unfair that ppl aren’t as interested in women like ik this has been a pattern for YEARS and likely will never change but#it fills me w so much rage#women are always better they’re always more interesting GRRRRR#i feel like the reason i hate kaveh so much is because how unfairly he is loved by fans compared to other characters 😭#everytime i look at him i am simply reminded of colourism and another missed chance for a sickass design#i’ll literally never be over how much sumeru broke my heart lol it was actually so gutting 😭👍 i didn’t realise the colourism was gonna be#THAT bad and i didnt realise the fans were THAT colourist racist AND stupid#truly will never forget the ‘they’re in the forest where there’s no sun so they’re all white as fuck’ argument#can u believe that was real#anyways . anyways#ik everyone is sick of me talking abt this LOL it just rly annoys me because i liked this game sm before 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲 and the fans r#everywhere so i get spammed w content of characters i Do Not Want To See 😭
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0rionz-belt · 8 months
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I don’t know how to explain that I’m not me in a way anyone can fully comprehend. I’m so tired.
#vent#I can’t just keep saying all of this stuff again. but I’m going to.#I look back on my life and it feels like I’m remembering scenes from my favorite movie.#or better yet. you know how if you tell someone something enough they eventually believe it? like in criminal justice shit?#I look back. and it feels like that wasn’t me. but they’re my memories. somehow.#this is the same body. same brain. same voice.#but I can’t remember more than an audience would. I’ll never know what I was thinking. how my brain worked.#and I can’t help but wonder if I’m still seeing my life like that. if I’m exaggerating everything.#if I’m exaggerating how amazing I really was.#I spend every day of my fucking life mourning over what I perceived myself to be.#because back then? back then I was building the skills needed to be a person in this world.#everything feels fucking broken with me. I’m in so much anguish.#I miss being a person more than anything.#I feel so horrible. not just for everything I’ve done but for everyone I’ve met. for my friends.#I feel like I’ve let everyone down. No one understands just how true that actually is.#If you could see the life I lost you would think I let you down too. I guarantee it.#this is the worst death one can have. Everyone loses the you they know. But you still have a body and brain that has to face the aftermath.#I’ve been in agony for so long. so much of me is dead. I just pray that the rest of me goes painlessly.#cant believe I wrote this shit listening to a song from the god damn doll movie
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rosesradio · 6 months
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.
#i’m kind of really heartbroken right now#so i had tickets to the hot freaks concert and went tonight—which i don’t mind posting on here because i live several hours away#so basically i drove to the venue for several hours and stopped like once for food#it was my understanding that windsor was opening and then the hot freaks and then the happy fits i guess but i didn’t know the exact times#we were running a bit late bc of the road trip and walked in at 7:25 (the show started at 7) and i got to see the tail end of ‘boyfriend’#& i was like ‘oh okay i just missed their first song’ but then they walked off stage and my heart dropped. i missed everything#and yeah it’s on me because i must have had a misunderstanding about how the show worked#i’d never even heard of a show where an act performs for 20-25 minutes unless it’s like a variety show or something#i did cry about it already and just tried to have a good rest of the night since we’d already driven for hours#i got to meet the band at the merch table which was really cool and they gave me a free signed CD & sticker & friendship bracelet because—#they felt bad for me. which was very sweet (i also bought a shirt)#i know i should be grateful i was even able to go to the concert. and i still had fun but part of me will always be heartbroken#because financially/geographically it’s not smart to go to another show even further away just to see a 25 minute set when i’ve already got#the merch & all. plus i can listen to them on Spotify#i can only hope they come to a location closer to where i live#but there’s no guarantee because they’re so underground. they only resurfaced because of stupid tiktok & they’re only popular enough to be—#half of an opening act. so they could potentially never go on tour again#if i had more of a platform i would boost their music more but i don’t#i know it’ll be okay. it’s just a lot of things have been going shitty lately and i thought this would make me feel better and it just—#went to shit#tw vent#rose.txt
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ladyaster · 1 year
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I’ve seen some people politely ask why there’s a lot of love for PermafrostShipping going around and like I dunno about the rest of you but I just saw a meme of them while I was delirious at 4 AM and at first I laughed but then I went “BUT WHAT IF-” and now I’m in too deep. Please send help.
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terrorbirb · 8 months
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I think permanent corrective actions and root cause analysis exist solely to cause people with OCD and anxiety disorders to ruin their brains.
#totes bro#every time i make a mistake i make 3 mistakes#1 i mixed up letters in a word and pulled the wrong thing#2 i know i mix up numbers and letters so i should have had a system in place to prevent this#3 whatever system i come up with is guaranteed to not be permanent so if anything similar happens its also my fault#and then it's 'if you keep asking why what is the cause of the problem'#and the answer cant be human error or lack of funds so its some system i didnt design always#and this is sthe same thing if someone else makes a mistake because i didn't design a process that would have prevented that#and once again whatever i do change is guaranteed to fail in the future and then it's nicole didnt you try to fix this already#but often its like some tangential problem like i pulled the wrong qty of the right item#i tell my therapists this and they ask is there an answer where i am not to blame in this entire company and the answer is no#♥️#because I design the processes and if people dont follow the processes its because i designed them wrong#anyway! having really bad anxiety hours#I've tried to bring this up and I get told 'well design a better process where this isnt the problem ' and that.... misses the point#Because now the problem is i feel anxious because i failed to make processes that are infallible (which is the expectation) and so i need t#make a process to handle my anxiety which is guaranteed to fail#and is also my fault that i feel the anxiety because why didn't i correct for this sooner when i started my anxiety#they say these things like 'look on the bright side you can improve' and really i cant because even if i do i wont fully improve#which you know makes the permanent corrective action not permanent#and they say you know permanent doesnt mean definitely permanent but then any time theres a problem theyre like 'why wasnt it permanently..#and i try to say you told me last time permanent doesnt mean permanent and its no. bad. youre just trying to stop short of a well polished#process. look at 5s#and it starts over and over and over#i try to say the way we do this doesnt work for me because everything is my fault even if its someone elses error#and because it causes me anxiety because I know no process is perfect but it was supposed to be permanent#but hr my bosses everyone just do not empathize with me at all and cant figure out why im anxious and how this makes it worse#because there's room for improvement!#also if its not clear many of the mistakes are because im dyslexic
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laivellaliarn · 2 years
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Hello I am once again lamenting that Albedo is going to run before Scaramouche. 
I CAN’T HAVE BOTH BUT I’VE WANTED ALBEDO FOR SO LONG
I’m going feral.
I guess I could try and grind out to get them both.  Can someone help me with math.
I am at 60 pity exactly and I currently have 47 saved wishes.  I do not have a guarantee, so if I assume I have to hit hard pity, just to be sure, 30 of my 47 wishes will go to getting a five star, leaving me with 17.
If I lose the 50/50 on Albedo (again pain), I’ll have 17 wishes on a clean slate, so I’d have to save up 90 more to guarantee Albedo at 107 wishes.  That would leave me on a clean slate to restart for Scaramouche.
With no pity on Scara’s banner, I would need a max 180 wishes to get him guaranteed.  That’s 287 wishes or 45920 primos.
Jesus fuck gods help me.
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septimus-heap · 2 years
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Sep heap soulmates au
#like the ones where u have a bunch of platonic soulmates. Maybe family as separate#but it's like not so much one where ur guaranteed to be friends with ur soulmates#it's just. These r people u could be friends with if u tried. U can lose soulmates if u hate them hard enough#sep talks#septimus heap#oh and it's one of those where ur soulmate can see whatever u write on urself that type of one#anyway marcia and silas r soulmates just because I think it's funny. They find it out and then r like fuck that. and hate each other#but not Enough bc they're still soulmates#(bc they do in fact care abt each other)#alther would just write the shopping list on his arm so marcia would buy stuff while she was out anyway#if ur soulmate dies the last thing they wrote stays on u forever and marcia still has a note from alther asking her to grab milk or smth#after they're done at the palace#I'm making it so u can like. Target who ur writing to bc tbh it seems like it'd be a pain if u couldn't#after marcia drops off jenna w silas the first thing he does when he's home (after trying and failing to console sarah)#is write 'marcia what the fuck' on the palm of his hand so she'll see it for sure#and she does! And ignores it which freaks silas out bc she Always responds. She does not ever miss an opportunity to be mean to him#except? She just did? And he's like why are u eow i heard from gringe that ur eow now. You've barely graduated how r u going to be eow??#and marcia's panicking bc she can't Not reply but what does she say????#anyway this is another au where marcia actually had some kind of support during the supreme custodian in the form of silas threatening to#emptying an ink pot on his head if she doesn't sleep or eat or whatever#empty* not emptying#the heap kids just bully each other through writing whenever they're apart#oh this is one of those aus with the names written on u somewhere#so silas and sarah know basically right away who jenna is bc her parents names r Right There except her mother is Dead the fuck#once they figure that out silas also panics and is like marcia why did you give us the princess marcia wtf marcia she doesn't look anything#like us how do u expect us to say she's ours#marcia writes back to tell them to figure it out and silas is like ??? YOU gave her to US help me out or I'm just abandoning her at an#orphanage (he was not going to do that but marcia doesn't know that)#she has to actually help them then 😔😔
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stardustedknuckles · 2 years
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I thought the birth control the doctor advised me to try would reduce symptoms of high estrogen but all it does is not contain estrogen. Like cool, fine. I very likely contain more than enough already, which is the specific problem I asked about. What are we doing to fight THAT. You didn't even check my levels, man. I wanted to fix my violent mood alterations, not add a new type of medicine to what's already happening? What part of progesterone only is going to prevent me from waking up in the middle of a panic attack from high estrogen if it's not reducing estrogen.
(advice welcome if I'm missing how this is supposed to work. Like maybe something about what it does affects the spikes...?)
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timmisny · 2 years
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i miss my mom
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