#be careful with your fucks

[lastoneout]

I know this is a tiny part of the wider problems born of diet culture, fatphobia, classism, and racism but like god the idea that "healthy" food must inherently taste bad has completely ruined us as a society.

#MR. KELLOGG I WOULD LIKE A FUCKING WORD #beating this man's fucking corpse with a broom #I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR POOP AND WEIRD CHRISTIAN NONSENSE NOW EVERYONE THINKS PLEASURE IS BAD FOR YOU #KILLING AND BITING AND MAIMING

[shesnake]

this was in response to a now deleted tweet by an adult about disney channel "falling off" and I think about it all the time when people my age complain about teen media

#twt #im blocking anyone who's even vaguely annoying in the notes btw i don't care about your opinions <3 #intellectualising your immaturity is so fucking dumb

[shadowtraveled]

"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.

but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)

mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…

the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.

every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.

first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic

which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.

which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.

the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.

walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?

well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.

you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?

it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.

when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.

and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.

kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.

yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.

#dungeon meshi spoilers #mithrun #dungeon meshi #this has been rotating for a while but i wanted to check my evidence before getting into it thanks user angelspenance for posting that meme #half of this is just the text and the other half i'm sure has been said before but it's making my brain [radio static] so here this is #someone did for sure mention this but i do find it very cute that in his fucked up conjured world meant to portray his ideal reality #his teammates came to visit him. like part of the fantasy was then explicitly that they cared about him and were his friends. even though #he says he tried to see the worst in them. #hm it does feel important to note that i do also believe 100% in mithrun suicidality--his desire to be eaten does seem to focus a lot on #wanting it to be Over. wanting not to be left incomplete and empty anymore. #but that loops back around a bit to the hole in your heart that appears when you feel unloved. it's many things and the same thing at once #snakes #long post #severe problems #meshy

[fleshdyke]

art tips that actually help. tracing pictures is fine. try not to shade with black. draw as much as you can all the time and make it shitty im so serious. dont buy expensive materials its not worth it. never post your art to tiktok. raise your commission prices. sparkle on be yourself

#i dont care how good or bad your art is or how old you are or how low your self esteem is RAISE YOUR PRICES #and if you’re like 13 and people in their 30s are giving you like $5 for your art you’re being exploited i dont care if that’s how much you #set your prices at. you are being exploited. 30+ year olds can afford more than $5 for art from a teenager #source: i did that for fucking ages. dont do that. #rambles #100 #1k #10k #20k

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point #not a shitpost #cptsd #and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer #the truth is i know why i wasn't loved #i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings #i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing #i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance #the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it #i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer #and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!! #because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that! #it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs! #so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't. #when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to #you can look for answers and reasons and explanations #but that's not actually going to FIX your situation. #and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job) #because you don't need answers--you need a new situation #*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme* #and yes. walking out isn't always possible. #but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap. #stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air #new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust #like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be #when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole

[bixels]

Just gonna have to wait and see, right? Just wait and see! Just gotta wait and see! Who knows, we'll just have to wait and see! It's anybody's guess, we'll just have to wait and see! The future is exciting, we just gotta wait and see!

#personal #my art #Fuck your fake ass 'i am very smart!' intellectualizing “observations” and open your god damn ears. #do something for fucks sake. it's sickening seeing videos of ai crap and seeing rows and rows of repliers using their one brain synapse #to type “wow! very exciting!” “haha this is kind of scary! but in a really interesting way!” #and then they go about their day without a second thought while creative industries burn around them #i go to one of america's top tech schools too and it's enough to make you wanna tear our your hair #every day it's seminars and talks about “the potential consequences of ai!” when the consequences are happening NOW #NO MORE DISCUSSING NO MORE INTELLECTUALIZING NO MORE SOCRATIC SEMINARS NO MORE DEBATING. ACT YOU COWARDS #people are getting hurt RIGHT NOW. stop pretending to care when you clearly don't! just be honest and say you wanna make money #my time here has really made me hate academic spaces. you people are so god damn useless and cowardly.

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Transcript:

LET'S SETTLE THI- Oh hang on. Hang on, Machine, um.

It's 8 PM I need to take my testosterone.

Sorry I'll just be a second. Uh wait here, alright?

Audio Source

#ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #ultrakill if it was based #its like a power up for the fight #fight. yeah. fight.. and not uh. anything else........................ that it could possibly effect *i am shot before i can continue* #smiles. #anyway. hes about to lose half his blood supply. your dose is gonna be all fucked up #take care of yourself #edit: #the way todays dev stream made this Canon (trust me). as was foretold. #this being posted today was a complete coincidence #I scheduled this weeks posts a few days ago #IT WAS FORETOLD #I SAW IT

[lazylittledragon]

i refuse to believe that boycotting is hard. my favourite thing in the world is ordering maccies after a late night at work/a concert/getting drunk. yes i do miss it sometimes. but the other night i ordered from a small place near my house instead and it was the most orgasmic burger i've ever had in my life. i very rarely say this but fucking suck it up people are DEAD

#ramble #also only 0.29 delivery instead of 3.99 #and chilli cheese bites #i swear to god the best food you'll ever eat while drunk is from the tiny shithole that's open until 4am #if you're refusing to do literally the smallest thing you can do to help then i have questions #it's FOOD. you'll survive #it's not even NECESSARY food #if it was like a chain grocery place and you don't have access to anything else then i would understand #but it's just NOT #make your own coffee for the love of god #when there is NOTHING you can do to stop this fucking tragedy. and let's be honest there isn't a lot normal people can do #and people say to you 'do this insignificant thing just to show that you even CARE' #and you DON'T do that???? what is actually wrong with you #also i've been worried about this since my last post about sbucks but this is Not an attack on the people who WORK at the boycotted places #because it is an absolute privilege to be able to leave your job and immediately find a new one

[sbeana]

the pool scene

#the locked tomb #tlt #griddlehark #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #tlt art #tlt fanart #comic #apologies for how wonky it looks in some parts #um i spent like five days working on this nonstop #well not nonstop i ate a shit ton of pomegranetes or however its spelled during it #but uhm yeah #im not good at drawing backgrounds or anatomy (YET) so hhuhshsu #anyways yah yeepers when will i get to have a homoerotic moment with my former rival/enemy where i get to show them forgiveness and care #gideon wants to kiss harrow on the lips so bad its so fucking funny #harrow is a whole pathetic looking sopping wet kitten and gideon is like ooh yah thats the stuff #anwyas yah #ill post the version without their skull makeup because i like that one more #the skull makeup looks ugly sometimes (BY MY OWN DESIGN!!!! HARROW QUEEN I WILL NEVER DISS YOUR FASHION <4) #ALSO SORRY ABOUT THE PACING BUT DID YOU KNOW THAT DRAWING TWELVE PAGES OF A COMIC CAN MAKE YOU REALLY MESSED UP IN THE HEAD #hatman is in the corner of ym room rn

[dead-core]

part of knowing me is watching me self-destruct. you cannot save me, you cannot fix me, and you cannot stop me.

#actually mentally ill #actually borderline #actually bpd #ed not ed sheeran #ed not sheeren #bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd feels #bpd vent #bpd mood #this is so dramatic and like edgelord but fr! #not good at taking care of myself and self-aware about it! plus stubborn and spiteful and defiant so your concern just fuels me #sometimes i can be very 'oh you're worried? shut the fuck up and don't tell me what to do' #so that's not great

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

another little barn for us all while we Anticipate <3

#*clenches fist* he's just a little guy... #i think that nervouscitement for the updates #makes my brain lunge at puppy barn to stay Sane <3 #he calms me... in all forms but This One. oh this one. squeezing him! #That Book Is So Wonky But I Couldnt Fix It! Oopsie Fucking Daisy! #no time to care about a book when im doodling barnaby- #scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #barnaby b beagle #your honor i love him and i cant wait to see More of him! #opening up the heart shaped locket of him In My Mind and gazing wistfully at it #what will happen i wonder :]c

[novelconcepts]

The defintion of hell is knowing a show is incredibly well-received in its first season, but if people don’t become machines churning out tweets, content, and rewatching 24/7, there’s no likelihood it’ll get a chance to tell its whole story. This shit is madness. Shows in different genres shouldn’t have to pit-battle for dominance. First seasons are MEANT to be baselines establishing worlds and characters, not complete storylines. The idea that this golden age of television has turned into “get it done in one or get out” is revolting.

#the sandman #paper girls #some of the hot takes on Twitter are breaking me #‘why don’t we know the whole story? it’s bad writing if you don’t have a complete story in the first season’ girl WHAT since WHEN #how many excellent shows were weak as fuck in S1?? and here we’re getting shows with incredible first seasons fighting for their lives #like fuckin Christ dude the idea of long form storytelling is allowing your story time and space to spread out #otherwise we would only make movies #i am so sick of this edge of my seat fear that any new show I fall in love with will get axed because the higher powers don’t care about art #this has to be a bubble right? this has to pop at some point and go back to shows valued on what they are #and don’t even get me started on creators having to beg for good reviews to balance out review-bombing from shitheads #if every one star review is clearly bigoted from the comments? why is anyone taking them into account?? #why is there no way to manage this shit aside from creators being like ‘please help us”’

[gaykingslayer]

"they’re making the dance about alicent and rhaenyra when its supposed to be between brother and sister weh weh weh” god forbid lesbians have anything

#hotd #house of the dragon #rhaenyra targaryen #alicent hightower #rhaenicent #my text #i dont like a lot of the choices in the show either but who fucking cares #im sorry theyre not filling your precious screentime with aegon being pathetic that must be very hard

[sydmarch]

#fucked it up had to repost damn automatic duration being 1day #texticles #i love that muting a post in your notifications does nothing@ #turning off reblogs bcus i didnt expect this to get traction outside maybe mutuals of my mutuals & i dont want to have my feed clogged #by a million people telling me in the tags what song is stuck in their head im sorry but i trumy dont care god bless <3