#bc ur like. counting off nb identities and presentations to mirror your male n female ROs

[thefossilwhale]

gender and gender variability in IF is so weird and there is no way to fix it god bless

#representation should never be a numbers game except in IF where it kind of has to be bc if romance is a major part of the story then you- #-want players and MCs of all genders n sexualities to have the same amount and range of options #but that usually means you fall into the ~ secret 3rd gender ~ trap even if u r actively fighting it #bc ur like. counting off nb identities and presentations to mirror your male n female ROs #'ok so you make them gender-selectable to maximize the freedom for each player!' #which is cool. except ur writing a character that is basically nonbinary in ur head bc they exist across genders but in the Actual Written- #-Work that all goes away and they're only ever encountered by the reader as one of two cis gender-conforming versions of themself #like idk maybe this is bc of Me and the way i think of characters but it's so hard for me to imagine writing one of my own as two different #-genders and having them be separate?? and not just different gender expressions belonging to one person. and reconciling that w the fact- #-that that's how ppl are going to see them and ur no longer doing justice to their actual identity #and even if you DO get past that. making those 2 versions distinct based on gender?? #bc if they're the same character w the same personality/history/motivations and the only difference is like... 'well this character is a- #-girl now so she has longer hair :) bc that's what girls have :) ' #(and disclaimer yes attraction can be based on presentation even tho that can't tell you someone's gender and that affects gender in IF) #but that's Real Life People making their own choices and not. one author with their own unique relationship to gender trying to represent- #-everyone #(you cannot ofc represent everyone and it's more important to do right by your individual characters but gender in IF is so impossible to- #-escape bc of the prevalence of romance) #final disclaimer that there are trans/nb authors out there doing good work and i don't think anyone is evil for doing any of the above #bc as i said. it is basically impossible to get this right. love always loses <3 #HIIIIII everyone who read this. i tried a fun thought experiment of what my WIP would be like as an IF and now i'm having this crisis