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#bc tumblr refused to show the notification for it
yupyupppippi · 1 year
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twitter randomly putting me back at the top of my feed when I'm hundreds of tweets down vs tumblr randomly setting me back 4 posts and letting me go on my merry way
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tio-trile · 8 months
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came back here on tumblr after literal years just for gomens 2 stuff and i got a notif from you. I feel happy seeing your blog again,, so its so surprising for me that you disliked s2, purely just bc youre someone i consider as monumental to the entire fandom bc of your loyalty pre-TV era. so it's intriguing to know your thoughts abt the tv version.
i read your points and DAMN you reminded me of the stuff i didnt like back in s1 that I FORGOT bc so many years have passed since i watched + read the series. I forgot how much I loved bastard, asshole Aziraphale. TV him is characterized as 100% good, better than heaven dude which isn't bad.. and hes very fluffy and adorable. But i always liked the difference between that and crowley being a demon and yet nice. i always missed him calling him "my dear" too. If theyre gonna make them lovey dovey in TV, make him call him my dear damn it!!
As a book fan too, i personally loved s2. But reading your points made me realize it wasnt completely perfect so I respect your side. I do hope s3 turns out to be better than our expectations so you can tune back to it again. I just want you to have more content that you can enjoy even if it's completely new stuff. I understand the feeling so bad of having new stuff but being unable to enjoy it (a diff show for me). Makes you wonder what kind of plot he and Terry originally planned for all this fanservicey stuff to happen. I agree about the book part too, Crowley would never throw those around! The part with them meeting as angels, honestly I think it wouldve been better if they just didn't remember it so they wouldn't ruin their first meeting in the book. It would've been fine as a throwaway like "they met but don't remember."
With the finale,, hmmm I think TV!Azira's characterization def plays a part in why he did it. TV!him screams as someone who is still insecure about being an angel and losing his privileges. So he took the only opportunity he could to change heaven so he and Crowley could live in peace, after seeing Gabriel who is alr so powerful, be cast away after that decision. I'm curious though, how would you think book!him would think in this decision?? With an Armageddon 2 coming up again I can't imagine of anything else the two of them could do to fight it again w/o an influence in higher power.
Oh geez, I sure hope that nobody has notification on for my blog right now 😂 (or ever)...it'll be so annoying for them 🤣🤣 and honestly, I'm just some guy on the internet running a blog with no profit to gain from being "loyal" to a fandom, so I'm gonna truthfully share my opinions. And yeah like you said, it's possible to enjoy the book and the show at the same time, just taking into consideration that they are different media and characters. It's hard to imagine book!Aziraphale in this situation because there has been too many differences that led to this situation......and I just don't see book!Aziraphale in this situation, because to begin with, I don't think Gabriel would even go to him in times of trouble, lol. So let's say that Metatron directly went to him after everything had happened and Gabriel had already ran off and offered him the position (with an offer he can't refuse) -- I think he would have to accept on the surface, and then he would immediately go to Crowley to try to work their way out of it/figure out a way to keep the position but still slacks off all the time like he's always done 😂😂
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fadeintolight · 1 year
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blog recs and questions! spicy edition ❤️‍🔥
the blog(s) you often stalk
the blog(s) you'd wish to meet in person
the blog(s) you don't always agree with but love anyway
three blogs you'd take with you to a mysterious deserted island (choose wisely)
your mean girls squad (gender neutral)
current tumblr crush (blog you reblog the most from)
current number of blocked blogs
the tag(s) you track
​anon you want spicy but im like salt and pepper on chicken breast with broccoli so manage your expectations but:
• off the top of my head i stalk @awesomefringey bc she has some goood anon discourses going on + @ladychlo for the top-notch humour and taste in art + @aliensingucci my favorite fic author i literally have their notifs on in case there’s any update on their works im so sorry + @thetriangletattoo for the gorgeous art
• i hope i can meet @lynchbrovhers this year! a girl can dream!
• it’s not that i disagree, sometimes i just refuse to agree with @persephoneflouwers but she knows and accepts me for it 🥰
• island mates: @holdingontoheart @nauticallyrics @blushingpizza on a let’s fuck around and find out basis??
• I don’t engage in mean girl squad shenanigans, I’d get out-meangirled😭
• current crush is @bluewinnerangel she just makes those posts man. she funny✨
• after the block fest of december and the porn bot invasion i just lost count but it’s gotta be 30ish
• the only tag i track is bojack horseman and for what, that show is dead but the impact it had on me will last forever (what tags SHOULD i track??)
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curiouskurona · 2 years
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plz read my links , theyre in my dropdown !! but here r tha basics for easy access : tha body is 24 , im bi , latine , nonbinary ( any prns r fine ) , mentholly iww , n neurodivergent !! 💖🌈🍀
this is a multifandom blog , all media / characters will be tagged !! see links 4 moar info about that . the fandoms i will post about most frequently are Princess Tutu and Twisted Wonderland ( not exclusively by any means , but those are tha bulk of my posts )
tumblr refuses to show me liek half my notifs apparently . . . i wonder if its bc this is a side blog . if u comment on a post of mine or leave sweet tags and i miss it im sorry !! 🙏
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floralbfs · 3 years
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hellooooo sorry ive been ignoring tumblr
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sodrippy · 4 years
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@sciencenerdbuckybarnes @lesbianbobbiedraper u guys are sweet thank u for ur good vibes they worked im kicking comorbidity in the butt right now
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frannyzooey · 3 years
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Okay so I've spent a long time curating stuff you wrote and posted because I miss reading your writing (I went all the way back to May 13th, then Tumblr, this hellsite, refreshed 🤡) and would like to say a few things:
You write so much and so beautifully and prolifically, I'm truly amazed by your talent (if u ever hear a "all hail kelli" coming from somewhere, know that I was the one who started the chant)
I'm SO EXCITED for your new Marcus Moreno fic and your Javier Peña fic, I got more and more excited with each ask you answered/pic you tagged as "xxx inspo" about them
Tumblr didn't notify me of weeknights chapter 4, which means it really hates me but that's cool, I already decided to turn on notifications on your blog bc literally every single thing you write is Art™ of the prettiest and most wonderful kind, so I refuse to miss any of it 😤
I am bewildered at how sweet and kind and thoughtful you are - this "dive", of sorts, i did into your blog showed me just how much of a good and caring person you are, your answers and comments on others' fics were always so wholesome and joyful, idk man, you really are special! And it didn't really come as a surprise, but it just makes me incredibly warm inside thinking that you're out there making people's days better and being this bright light in the community, not to mention i still can't believe my luck to be able to call you a friend. You are wonderful 🥺❤️
I just remembered something else, I'm very 👀👀👀 at Gracie's happy ending which you hinted at in an answer 👁️👁️ is it out already? Did I miss it? Hdjdjdjsjsh
Anyways. I must sound like a broken record by now saying how much I love, appreciate and admire you, but I just can't help myself 🤷 now I'll go and read all the stuff I missed out on from you and I'd like to thank you once again for writing and sharing your marvelous talent for free like the literal angel you are 🥰✨
lela ❤️
I truly do not deserve this kind of love — your reblogs (which gave me life yesterday), your endless kindness, this wonderful ask just dropped into my inbox — it’s been a rough couple of days and it’s like you knew I needed that extra shot of love and came bursting in here with it like the ray of sunshine you are 🥰
1) I don’t even know what to say to this — I am so beyond happy you like my writing, it makes me so happy to share it and sometimes I get a little nervous about posting too much or wish I was a little bit more careful? choosing? about my writing but the way you just took those insecurities and said “NOT TODAY” — thank you 🥰❤️
2) eeeeee!!! I am so excited you are excited! I have a lot of ideas for them and it’s been nice to explore the fic in asks because it kinda takes the pressure off writing something more substantial? longer? more structured? looking at those tags is kinda dreamy, ain’t it? 😍
3) BUT THEN YOU READ IT AND MADE ME CRY with your reblog and I’m still weepy — thank you ☺️
4) this is something that is really important to me because sharing takes guts, takes being vulnerable, takes putting yourself out there and as someone who very much struggles with that in real life I want to make sure that I am beyond welcoming and enthusiastic to anyone who wants to share anything on here. kindness takes so little yet goes such a long way and I love seeing it on my dash — it makes people feel so welcomed and then we get more content which is always the goal, right? ❤️ you are my friend, something for which I am very thankful and you are one of the biggest resources of support and kindness — the generosity you provide with your time to support and uplift others is truly inspiring and I love you for that. 🥰
5) Gracie IS gonna get her ending — you didn’t miss it ❤️ feel free to send me any asks you have about her in the meantime, I’ve missed her so!
YOU are the angel, a true blessing and I appreciate you more than I can say. I am HONORED you took a deep dive on my blog — if that ain’t a love letter, idk what IS. 🥰🥰❤️
I LOVE YOU
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marynatural2 · 3 years
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have you had ANY response about why you were silenced. what is going on
no :((( i emailed them twice with the form on the marynatural email but didn’t get an auto “hey! we got your ticket” response so last night at 3 am i sent them ANOTHER email with a different account and got a bot response immediately so i’m just. waiting. i @-ed them on twitter yesterday when they got like. 5 mentions total throughout the day. and they didn’t reply to me. @-ed them again today and no reply yet. i just sent a polite “i’ve been having technical difficulties with forms, i just wanted to check in and make sure this was received?” reply. i dug through past emails i sent to tumblr support for unrelated reasons and response time is 1 to 3 days so i’m. hdjnvsdf. account pleas. i saw some people saying that when they emailed with their terminated email they never got a reply, so they used a different one, and then support refused to move forward until they emailed from their associated email for “security reasons”, so they would email again, and never get a reply. 
i’m like 99% sure i know WHY i got nuked and it was a Simple Misunderstanding hdknsjdf i’m not a robot i’m a real boy! it’s weird bc i’m still “logged in” on the app so i get bubble notifs on the app for notes still and push notifications when mutuals like posts on that blog and my original account still shows up as a member of spnpocweek but logging in on desktop just says lol terminated and logging in on mobile gives me a blank dash/notifs/settings while various cutesy error messages that you usually get with no internet pop up
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selfcareparker · 3 years
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okay here’s my long ass letter.. be prepared girl. bUT ALSO I THOUGHT YOU WERE TAKING A BREAK OFF OF TUMBLR 😭😭 i saw notifications from you and was like: is she back??? anyway.
it was international best friend day like A WHILE ago but i wanted to say you are one of my best friends and i love you ❤️❤️ i know we don’t know what each other look like and we live in two different parts of the world but LOVE YOUUU 🤍 you are such an amazing, understanding, beautiful, talented person!! round of applause for aria please everyone <3
oh my gosh you answered so fast lmaoo i get so happy when you answer my asks hdjsgsjsj (for reference this took me two days to write so jdgsj)
ALRIGHT i’m just gonna hop into dance bc i’m really excited about?? THANK YOU FOR ALL THE GOOD LUCK 🥰🥰 it clearly worked bc i killed my recitals! there was one recital on saturday (yesterday) and one today. alsooo i killed my rehearsal on the 5th (which is when i read that response). so that saturday (the 5th) i had my final one on one rehearsal right, and i started with jazz/hip hop (my favorite and the one i’m best at) and i KILLED IT. i got a lot of compliments and it was so 💓 but my actual performances were SO GOOD!!! i did better on saturday than today (sunday) but i still did pretty good. i dance jazz/hip hop and ballet so i had two dances in the show which was fine for me bc some of the girls were killing themselves changing in like 2 or 3 minutes. only my mom, dad & brothers came but ig with the brief things i’ve told you about my family they are pretty terrible lol so i didn’t want them to be there (especially with there already being a dancer in the family!) but they were oddly supportive, but still i was not about to invite them lmao. and i really wanna use these emojis so 🩰💃🏾
now a little about the football games (american football) but i have a question. when you type football in your phone does a football emoji come up? or an american football emoji come up? so football 🏈 vs football ⚽️ cuz if i type soccer ⚽️ that emoji comes up. ANYWAY. yeah LMAO my little brothers (the 7yo, daniel) team won one game (their first one) lost a lot, then they won another and then the championships… THEY WON!!!! girl it was such a good moment. i almost hurt my back again bc i’m so wild when it comes to sports, like i’m the loudest one on the field (i just have a booming voice when i need to use it? and i have a football clap, but it makes me appealing when i get a boyfriend so HAHAGA) but the team they beat are such awful people so i played “we are the champions” loud and proud 😌 also it’s flag football lmao so they all have two flags attached to their waists, then whoever has the ball you have to get their flags. and my other brother, the 12 year old, he also plays flag football but his game was A LOT more intense bc our team is undefeated (spoil alert:) AND STILL IS BC WE TOTALLY RIPPED THE OTHER TEAM APARTTTTT but the team we went against was also undefeated??? but they sucked???? like it was 37-14….. how would they even compare??? (btw i know i talk a lot of shit on my 12yo brother but he is a BEAST at sports like i cannot explain to you how good he is, like today my uncle dropped off an mvp award for him) also for some more laughs my dad is the one who coaches the 7 year olds team 😐 yeah so the reason we lost all those times is bc my dad wouldn’t listen and he shouldn’t coach ever again but ANYWAY STORY FOR ANOTHER TIME
the singing group... yeah uh... hm. so for reference it’s my 7 year old brother, Daniel, Vincent (the 12yo) refuses to sing so. but yeah we didn’t end up going. it was the same saturday as my recital and i wholeheartedly believe i would be so stressed if i did both??? like my anxiety was already high for my recital and mannn if i did that group…. i would wanna cry lol. not to mention, the performance was meant to be outside????? and it’s like 90 degrees (Fahrenheit) here????? OH AND THESE BUG THINGS IDK IF YOUVE SEEN THEM IN GERMANY OR ON THE NEWS but they’re called uhhh fuck umm, okay i googled it: cicadas. they’re nasty bugs and they die quick?? but they fly everywhere and they’re so. loud. like i seriously question how bugs can make that much noise. but bc of that daniel was not having ANYTHING on saturday, between the heat and the bugs- nope. he literally said OUT LOUD “i’m never coming here again” AND IM— JUST KILL ME NOW, i was like daniel u can’t say that out loud and he’s just “what???” OH MY GOODNESS so bc the performance was outside daniel said heck to the no sooo yeah :/ i’m very pleased but i kindaaaa feel bad for the group but not really? i don’t know 😭😭
WHEN I READ THE TOM QUOTE 💀💀 whenever i’ve thought about that.. it just doesn’t help? i’m not gonna lie, i did try it during my recital and it helped a little bit, like during ballet i told myself to just enjoy it bc it was a lot of fun and i loved it a lot 🥰 but my nerves were also calmed by one of my friends there who was like “if we mess up who cares?? it’s a dance recital for our families” and that really stuck with me bc it’s true.. who cares?? (bc they weren’t wearing masks in the audience - if ur vaccinated, this woman front row yawned 😐 during our ballet 😐 i was like ok.) but dude i- idk. to be honest i don’t know how it works for him lmao. about the constant state of anxiety, it’s not usually? like i’ve been kinda chill but i hope i’m not like... depressed? idk, i’m getting a new therapist (or at least i’m gonna meet this woman) bc mine was not good lol, idk if i told you that but yeah. so 🤍hope🤍
GIRL THE PARENT THING 😭😭😭 when you said your mom/mum (lol) says “why did i marry your father?” “and she means it too” 😭😭 stopppp i did not mean to laugh that hard 😭and also felt the crying thing :/ cuz it’s saddd (btw whatever you’re comfortable with telling me it’s fine hdgsjsh) my mom and dad.... it’s a long story. that’s a lot of tea and it wouldn’t all fit in this lmao but yes😌 i think it will be for the better absolutely. i am nervous though, idk for my mom AND for my dad?? even though i don’t like him?? but literally i had a dream (i wrote this section like a week ago so it was when i just woke up) that i yelled at him for something and then i felt bad??? girl i cant- but anyway i remember this tiktok of this girl and her brother and he was like: do you not want your kids to be happy??? they’re not gonna get two Christmases??? and i honestly cannot wait for that lmaooo
HDGSJABHAJ it’s true, i’ve been waiting for you to get your license girl. i hope the test happens before exams!!! from what i’ve heard exams are really really stressful :/ when you get your license (i’ve always written license so idk lol) i’m sure you will be an amazing amazing driver <3
LOL i gOT mY dRivErS liCeNsE lASt wEeK… tbh i don’t like the song? i just don’t. i think it’s bc i didn’t understand why her very first song created so much drama? and it’s not even thattttt good? pls no one go and hate on me, but i don’t love it. i 100% get what ur saying about the sad songs 😭 i am in love with traitor but i cry every time i listen to it. i do love good 4 u, brutal, happier i do really like too…. jealously jealousy is a good one as well & deja vu is definitely still a favorite. idk i need to listen to the album again lol but even if i didn’t like her first single or all the hype around it, i love olivia!! she’s a lil sweetheart 🥺 and speaking of liv, i love (like love love love) high school musical: the musical: the series (or hsmtmts) lol i saw some anons talking about it and i truly love the show i can’t even lie i’m sorry
i’m glad you got your covid shot!! i’m getting mine on tuesday, so tomorrow for me, but is your cough still there? i know this is like a very long while after you sent that so i’m hoping it’s gone? idk hgfhsh also jab as in your shot? idk what jab means 😭 but i know at the recital we were sweaty without masks (not the whole time but on stage and stuff and in the back we had to put them back on… though none of us did) and i hugged maybe a couple of people so who knows! if i feel a cough…. 👀 lmao (and how’d your driving lesson go?!!?!?)
yea i guess boring is better than hard? not too much of a workload i guess! and i hope that means less stress as well 💖
okay my last few things, i had notes on what i wanted to tell you/bring up and literally its says: “TOM HANGING OUT WITH STORMZY????” and “i read her blurbs & fics !!!! gorgeous beautiful phenomenal” lol as in your recent work and it is all of the above 🤍 love youuuuu hope you’re having a good start to your week!!!
- lovely anon (ps this is not proofread😮‍💨 & i love this emoji hahah)
I got a single hour of sleep last night but I really hope this still makes sense 💀💘
I did take a break off Tumblr ksdhjjk I think I was gone for like... 3 or 4 days ahsjssk
oh my god girllll I love you too 🥺 happy (late) best fren dayyyyy no pleaseee we need a round of applause for YOU amazing, funny, LOVELY human being (which I hope you got after your show too 😌)
ahhhh I'm so proud of you I wish I could have been there 😭 but I still know your performance was
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okay so jsdhgfjsk I used to do ballet for two years, jazz dance for like.. 2 years too? and hip hop for a year when I was younger sojhsjk oh my god twins (but I was like a CHILD so, but still I loveeeeee (watching) ballet so much and hip hop too gurllllllll I knew you were a bad bitch but *insert lady gaga gif AGAIN*
and people who yAwN during ballet just can't appreciate art 🙄 it's their loss honestly
yes @ these emojis 🩰💃>>>>>>>
okay so on my phone I have both a German and a UK keyboard and when I type football on the German one I get this: 🏈 but for football on the uk one it's ⚽️
So I see talent runs in the family 😌 with your brother winning his game !!!! and sajkdhghuji I like football (soccer) and I've also thought about how it could be something that a future bf finds attractive lmaoooo (I mean even more attractive than he already thinks I am 🙄) or maybe I'll get myself an athlete girlfriend ;)
Maybe it was for the better that you didn't go to the singing group because like you said that sounded STRESSFULLLLLLL, and I don't think we have cicadas in Germany(??? or at least I don't hear them here) but I know them from summer holidays in Croatia/bosnia and you're right they're. the. worst. 😭 and the heat as well-- nope. it's been realllyyyyy hot here too and I'm KNOT a fan. I prefer winter and I've never liked summer but I really wanted to give the warm weather a chance this year but all it's done is give me a thin layer of sweat on my body 24/7 and a headache and made me tired 😐 so yeah cicadas, heat, and stress and the singing group? nah, I'm glad you didn't go and were able to avoid all that <333
same same same the tom quote is the worst asiskdaishd but I've heard some people say it helps them so? I think it depends on why you're anxious and if it's a normal anxiety or like... an anxiety disorder pffjd. I don't think he meant it as a cure for an anxiety disorder but it has the same vibes as telling a depressed person "don't worry be happy" no matter what type of anxiety it's directed at hvdsjkfs
like i’ve been kinda chill but i hope i’m not like... depressed? oh my god same? well kinda???? okay 1 I hope the new therapist is better!!! I had a really bad experience with my first therapist ever when I was 14 and she .... told me to drink alcohol???? I was like yea so I throw up every day before school because I'm so anxious. and she said I should relax a bit maybe go out for a cocktail or wine from time to time. and yea you can buy wine when you're 16 in Germany (I was 14 but ok) but surely a therapist should not be telling anyone to drink regardless of their age........ then I used to see another therapist but he was this guy and he was like shy? idk he was weird and then I realised that my anxiety is all subconscious anyway so there’s not really anything to talk about but I have physical symptoms mostly so my mom has this kinesiologist (don't ask me what that is because I don't understand even tho it's helped me in the past) and she gave me the number of a psychiatrist so I might try going there?
okay quick tw for very very very very lowkey... not wanting to be alive for the next paragraph
I feel like my anxiety is a rollercoaster and as soon as my anxiety decreases I always get depressed? I had this time last month where I kept saying "I wanna die" and like I would NEVER unalive myself but I wouldn't have minded if I died you know? it's better now but it wasn't the first time I felt like that so??? although I think that was when uni hadn't started yet and I had had (?) nothing to do for the last year and it's def better now but I'm scared that I might feel like that again one day so I'd rather make sure I have someone (I think a therapist/psychologist is better for depression but I need a psychiatrist for anxiety but idk) okay I think we've talked about triggering topics and i dont remember if you said anything but idk I still added it at the beginning just in case <3
but you know I'm always here to talk and let me know how it goes <3 (if you wanna :)
So driving lessons ummmm.... I don't remember if I told you this already? but last Friday I had a lesson and my driving instructor did a test simulation so she didn't do anything except tell me where to go and I was aware that I probably wouldn't have passed but she criticised everything I did and I was really sad cause I thought I was a good driver but apparently I'm not after all <///3
HOWEVER since then I've had three more hours (two lessons) and she said I've really improved (within...one week) and that my test will probably be mid/late July which is exactly when I have my exams PLUS my second vaccine (after my exams) so.... we'll have to wait and see. It really depends on the day because I only have three exams and the rest is just assignments that I will have done by then so?
but I also realised I've become better at driving within just this one week which sounds weird but maybe last week was a wake up call and also I wrote down the things that I could improve and I feel like that really helped.
....
um
i-
just fell asleep. but only for like 20 minutes.
moving on
yeaaa same about drivers license and I'm in love with brutal but I realised I've never listened past the first chorus? so I'll have to do that
it's so weird hearing people talk about hsm the series because I feel like it's such an extreme divide? I feel like not a single person who watches the series has watched the films and not a single person who has watched the films watches the series? if that makes sense. lmk if you've seen the films because maybe I'm wrong jhsagdfzujk I don't think hsm was/is super popular in Germany so maybe I just think that because it's not popular in my country but it's different everywhere else !! edit: I just remembered that you said something about the Troy meme I posted the other day which means you know Troy? I'm guessing. so I probably am wrong about hsm/hsm the series and who watches it)
yesss I got my vaccine, it was fine but my arm hurt for like 3 days but otherwise I had no symptoms (okay I still have a bruise on my arm from it and it was 8 days ago but ✋🏼) I hope yours went well!!!! and yeah my cough is gone gshddfk and honestly the word jab confuses me too so let's forget about it maybe it's just (British?) old people slang lmaoooo
okay okay okay okay stormzy and tom oh my godddd I wanna hang out with them 😭😭😭 I rarely ever have that thought about celebrities but tom and stormzy? the duo we didn't know we needed (is that English? like I said, one hour of sleep I'll get to that in a second) (& obviously I have no idea if they're even proper friends irl or what (tbh I can't imagine it for some reason but like I said IDK THEM SO hgessjnh) or do I? 👀 I'll ask Michael if he's friends with Tom next time I see him 😌 btw Michael is such a perfect name, just like Chris imo)
i read her blurbs & fics !!!! gorgeous beautiful phenomenal 🥰🥺 thanks you're the cutest <3333 that made my day 🥰 omg 🥺 i got this request for a pride related fic which i‘ll try to write this weekend but i have some uni stuff to do so idk?
nowwww today was a mess ghvhsjkwlaskdj (my keyboard smashes might look weird because I just switched to my laptop)
so i was on Tik Tok until 2 am last night, as always, but suddenly I started hearing something against my window but on the inside? and I immediately knew that it was an insect and IM SO FUCKING SCARED OF INSECTS AND ALSO SPIDERS LIKE I KNOW THEYRE NOT GONNA HURT ME BUT KASUGDFHBAK my heart starts racing and omg. so I quickly turned on my flashlight on my phone to see if it was just a fly or something worse. and it was way worse. it was really big and loud and fast and it was like flying so I ran to the bathroom. btw my window is open at night but I have a net in front of it so that insects can't come inside but it also means insects can't fly OUT if they somehow got inside. so I think the insect flew in through the balcony door from the living room and flew all the way into my room (which is not far but it's far for a bug lmao). so it was too big and quick for me to like kill it or anything? and also it was 3 am and I was tired so I was like where can I go? Cause I can't go back to my room. So I was like should I go and sleep on the sofa in the living room? No because the balcony door is open so there's probably some insects in there already and they won't be able to fly out if I shut the door and then they'll bug me (pun intended). or more like terrify me because like I said I HATE insects.
and if I closed the balcony door and the insect (from my room) came in there it wouldn't be able to fly out either. so I can't go to my room, and I can't sleep on the sofa. I was literally considering sleeping in the bathtub sjagdhhuaj but it's too small and like... hard obviously so I didn't do that 💀
so then my only option was to go into my parents' bedroom looooooooool. But first I quickly turned the light in my room on to see if I could see the insect or if maybe it had gone? Because i really wanted to sleep in my comfortable bed but as soon as I switched on the light I saw the insect on the wall right above my bed AND IT WAS SO LIKE THICC and scary so I threw my phone on my bed and went to my parent's room vgefhuwiajk. they didn't even wake up but there wasn't really any room for me to lie down comfortably but I was more comfortable between my parents THAN IN A ROOM FULL OF BUGS. it was kinda cute too cause our dog jumped on the bed too at some point so it was like the gang's all here.
but it felt so weird like I'm technically an ~adult~ (by law, not by common sense or how independent i am lol) so why am I sleeping in my parents' bed?😭 the answer (insect in my room) is not really valid either lol
Idk if you‘re classified as an adult if you‘re over 18 or 21 in the US? But i‘m talking about being 18
this is getting so long I'm so sorry------------------
so i was in my parents' bed but it was really uncomfortable and it was 4 am already and then I had to go to the toilet and on my way back I went to check if the insect was still there and as soon as I switched on the light I saw it by my window again so I RAN (back to my parents) and they still didn't wake up????? but then they started snoring and it was SO LOUD 😭🥴 and then it was 5 am and my dad went to work (he woke up and I could tell he was confused and he patted my back like? tf who is this lmaooo) but when he left for work I scooted over to his side of the bed so I was at least more comfortable. then it was 5:30 am when I finally fell asleep.
but then I woke up again some time between 6:30 and 7 and I had to get up at 7:3o for a doctor's appointment and I couldn't fall back asleep so yeah rip me </3
okay now tw blood? (having a blood sample taken so needles as well)
so I'm going to this new doctor and I have a few (non serious) health... concerns? complaints? idk lol so she said we should do a blood test. now I don't think I've ever gotten blood drawn or at least I don't remember it. I'm not scared of needles or blood or anything but since I didn't know what I should expect I googled..... and found a video of someone taking this hugeee ass needle and like sucking the blood out of a person's arm with a reverse syringe (idk if that's what they're called) so it looked like a vaccine for example but instead of putting something into the person they were pulling it out. and idk if I just wasn't paying attention to the video or if it's normal to do it like that in some places but I got so fucking scared hskjdhbsjs
so with one hour of sleep, really hot weather and warm disgusting air, and me being dehydrated as fuck because I was so anxious I had to throw up the water I drank before the appointment (?), I got to the doctor's and suddenly I started crying 💀 my eyes were really swollen already from not having slept and it was early and I was at the doctor's for like half an hour and I think I cried eight times in total just because I was so physically drained I guess. like by the time I got there I really wasn't even scared of getting blood drawn anymore but I was just so exhausted that I started crying. and it was so embarrassing cause the doctor treated me like I was a five year old hsguiao and I kept wanting to say that I'm not even scared of the needle or anything and that I'm just super tired but as soon as I opened my mouth I would start crying so I just sat there and let them baby me sdgvazuhi (obviously they were just trying to be nice but still I WASNT SCARED JUST TIRED).
so anyway she tried my left arm and it didn't work cause my veins are shit or whatever and then she pricked my right arm and literally it barely hurt. and then as soon as my blood started running from the needle through the tube thing and into the like bottle? (I googled and it said it's called like ampoule or vial? the word vial sounds familiar but idk if it's the right context). so I was fine by then because I thought she was gonna suck my blood out but turns out idk shit about anatomy and turns out blood doesn't need to be SUCKED out but it just like... gushes when you stick a needle into your vein (OKAY WHEN I SAY IT LIKE THAT IT SOUND SO OBVIOUS IM SO DUMV BUT THAT VIDEO REALLY SCARED ME OKAY). (idk if this is funny to you) so yeah as soon as the blood started gushing out of me and into the vial (?) she said "o zapft is" which is Bavarian slang for when you open a barrel of beer and the beer like shoots out and i thought it was funny but she probably makes that joke sixteen times a day.
anyway they filled up so many vials ghdjslkdj but it wasn't painful at all. and they put plasters on my "wound" afterwards and ripping the plaster off hurt 10x more than them actually taking my blood lol. also I have bruises on both my arms I was gonna insert a picture but that feels weird shdgva. also my arms kinda hurt? but idk if that's really the case or if my brain is tricking me because I THINK they could hurt because I have the bruises yk?
okay the last thing I was gonna say. so there's the European Championship (⚽️ ) going on right now and like I said I like football anyway but it's also soooo cool to see everyone wearing their country's jerseys/football shirts. and in my street there's like five restaurants and they all have football playing on huge tvs every night so even if I'm not watching I can always hear people cheering (or booing lol) whenever there's a goal and I just love that everyone kinda comes together to watch a few men kick balls <3 (no lsdjhbgsjbk like I said I like football too and yea it really is nice that e v e r y o n e is so invested and even if your team loses you had a fun time (unless you're too much of a hardcore stan lol)
and I got a reallyyyy cute Munich kit jersey that looks really hot on me 😌 cause the Germany ones are ugly this season and I support FC Bayern München/Munich so I got the Munich shirt. I also have an England jersey from a few years ago but it doesn't look as good on me so I'll be supporting Germany in my hot shirt dsijhsj (it looks amazing on me but it's also kinda thick material so it's hot like that too 😭)
so yeah that's all from me lmaoaoao that was SO LONG I AM SO SORRY if you even made it this far pls do not feel obligated to reply/respond vbdsghjioidkj I feel like maybe I shouldn't have written so much on one hour of sleep in the last 40 hours but... here we are. sorry if it makes no sense
I love you, I hope you have a nice weekend (or whenever you read this)💓
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terezbian · 3 years
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is tumblr just refusing to show activity past a certain # of notes. bc i have 1 popular post and the 420 people liked 69 reblogged notifs are all i see
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ap psychology
anonymous asked:  Can I request readers putting all her studying off till the week before AP exams and she starts studying an unhealthy amount, like sometimes forgetting to eat all day because of it and even made herself sick from stress over it but reader refuses to complain because she did it to herself and Lydia's just there helping her review and making sure she takes time to care for herself ect? Bonus if Reader thinks she did bad and Lydia assuring her she did fine and has an 'i told you don't moment? 
anonymous asked: Totally didn't request that bc that's my situation-
for some reason when i tried to queue this w/ the original ask, tumblr wanted to put the cut in the ask and i couldn’t delete it
this is out of date now, but i was uninspired to write for a hella long time sorry. also! i’m going to draw from my experiences w/ ap this year, and the only ap exam i had to take was psych, so that’s also going to be the case for reader :)
also, i feel like my lydia is a bit out of character? idk it’ll probably take a while to get back to the way i used to write her.
1303 words
cw: femreader. food
you cursed under your breath. months ago, months! you told yourself you would start studying for your ap exam. you only had the one exam to study for, so you told yourself that if you just did a little bit everyday, you would be fine.
but here you were, about three days until your ap psychology exam, and you hadn’t studied any of it. you had hardly even watched the videos your teacher had posted as the digital learning content. but to be fair, the stuff he was talking about in them were the last unit or two of psych, and you wouldn’t have to worry about them, because you weren’t going to be tested on them.
you groaned and dragged your feet downstairs, to where you hid your backpack. the friday weeks ago, when your school told everyone that classes would go digital for a few weeks because of the coronavirus, your teacher had come prepared. he gave everyone that showed up to class, which, granted, wasn’t that many but still- a huge packet covering everything that you had studied this year. it was some forty pages long.
okay, it was, like, thirty five because you crossed out the pages about personality and disorders. which was a shame, because those are the units that everyone takes psychology to learn about. no one goes, “oh boy, i can’t wait to learn about how to test if a baby has depth perception!” or “i can’t wait to learn about all the different types of visual illusions!” but whatever.
you flipped to page thirty five, to see how many questions you were in for. just over 250, except that’s counting all the charts as individual questions. yeah, that makes sense. one and a half pages of listing what researchers discovered what is equivalent to answering which cortex of the brain processes visual stimuli.
wait a minute. lydia was also taking psych. studying sucks, but if you could do it with your girlfriend, that’d be so much less painful.
you texted her, “hey lyds, have u finished the psych packet yet?”
”yea i finished it yesterday, why?” she texted back almost immediately.
shit. looks like you’ll have to suffer through this alone. “nvm”
you looked at the time, 1:46. damn, already? it felt like you had only just woken up. you made yourself a coffee, and set up shop on the desk you have never used in your bedroom, with laptop open beside you. you planned on googling everything, rather than going through your notes, mostly because you forgot where you put them, but this would still take ages.
an hour passed, and you felt like you were dying on the inside. if you had to answer one more question about behavioral psych, you were going to scream. behavioral psych is by far the worst part of psychology! watson and skinner be damned! people are people not some computer code! people have feelings! you can’t just ignore them! and the feeling you were feeling right now was not a good one!
you wanted to stop, but you weren’t sure if you stopped now if you’d be able to finish the packet. so you kept on going.
you went another five hours, taking five minute tik tok breaks every hour to keep you sane. you looked at the clock, and realized you hadn’t eaten anything today. you grabbed a box of cheez-its and made your way back upstairs, and went back to work. this time, you ate a cheez-it every time you finished a question, or you filled out a row in a chart.
you didn’t know when you fell asleep, but you woke up in the morning with about half the packet filled out. considering the exam was in one day, and four-ish hours, you thought that was good.
as you made your morning coffee, you checked the messages lydia had sent you. “are you doing okay? normally we talk a lot but…” “wait, are you working on the study guide?” “y/n! please take breaks! remember! you need food!” “and water!”
you sent back, “if i eat my cheez-its, and i drink my coffee while i study, then i don’t have to take breaks.”
you went back to your desk, and plugged your phone in across the room so you wouldn’t be distracted. but also because you forgot to charge it before you passed out, so it was at three percent, because apparently you had kept it open to tik tok all night, and the video just kept looping. oops.
for a while, the studying seemed easier. you felt like you had less to do, and you didn’t need to worry about getting it done in time, because you had more than enough of it. but because you didn’t need to rush, you became more productive.
you finished the second half of the packet by six that evening. you do admit, you got a bit lazy in the last few pages, but it was done!
shit. studying isn’t just writing stuff down, you have to read it over, right? you don’t really study that much.
but you decided to take an hour or two’s break for… breakfast? dinner? maybe even lunch? whatever, leftover pizza, because you had just only now just realized the intense rumbling in your stomach.
you checked your phone for the first time in hours. you were actually kind of proud of yourself. you usually were on your phone every waking hour, which was probably a problem, but you had shown enormous restraint… by spending every waking hour staring at your laptop. it’s all about choosing your battles.
you quickly dismissed some twitter notifications before tapping on a new message from lydia. “babe, i’m getting really worried about you, please call me when you see this.” you furrowed your brows. worried? about you? why?
you called lydia, and she picked up nearly immediately.
”y/n!” she gasped with relief, “don’t do that to me again!”
you felt stupid for wondering what she was talking about, but you kind of needed to know, “what do you mean?”
”you’ve been offline for hours, and i couldn’t get to you! and then when i heard what you were eating, that got me worried. have you eaten today?”
”three slices of pizza right now.” you swallowed a bite.
”is that your first meal today?”
”unless you count coffee, yeah. i’ll do better tomorrow, i promise. speaking of tomorrow, we’ve got the psych exam, and i need to keep studying. i’ll call after the exam, so like three?”
”y/n.”
”yeah?”
”you do realize this exam is online, right? and at home?”
”uh, yeah.” you swallowed.
”and you have both a laptop and a phone?”
”lydia, what are you saying?” cheating. she was definitely talking about cheating.
”i’m saying, that you don’t really need to know the definitions, because our dear old pal google can be there to help you out with those. and you’re smart, so i assume you know the concepts.”
”you think very highly, of me, my dear.” you took another bite of pizza. “so, what you’re saying is, i wasted two days studying?”
”yes, that is exactly what i’m saying.”
”shit. wait, why were you studying?”
”ugh, because i am nowhere near as good as you at being able to understand things.”
”you know, definitions explain the concept too.”
”what are you saying?” asked lydia.
”i think we’ve both wasted a lot of time studying when we didn’t need to.”
”fuck.” lydia breathed.
”yeah, we’re both idiots. do you wanna watch something on netflix? you haven’t finished parks and rec yet, right?”
”no, i just finished an episode before you called me.”
”which one?”
”season four, episode seven.”
”wait, is the next episode smallest park? we need to watch that, like, now.”
@meangirlsx @meangirlmurphy @eliza-is-confused @boredomimi @book--butterfly
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Types of art reposters, ranked by how much I personally hate them
Hey so I haven’t personally had art reposted bc I’m a small artist and not that good in terms of technique yet (this isn’t self deprecation, just an acknowledgment that I’m not that great at anatomy and lighting and shading and such yet), but I see art reposters all the time on Instagram and (occasionally, not actually that often) here, and I’ve seen the negative effects art reposts have on other artists and I’m big mad about them, so I decided to make this list. This is gonna be a long post so if you want to be salty with me (or genuinely don’t know why I think art reposting is bad and want to find out) just know that this is gonna be fairly long.
Disclaimer (and I know this may seem obvious so I’m sorry to everyone who already knows but I feel like I have to put this here because I’ve actually seen people confused about this): reposting is not the same as reblogging. Reblogging is a function on tumblr (the little black arrows in a square right next to the like button at the bottom of posts) where you can share an artist’s work to your blog. Reblogging is good because it provides an artist with more exposure, as you probably have people following you that don’t follow them, so the more people who reblog someone’s art the more people see it and the more attention the artist is able to get, and because reblogged art provides a direct link to the original post and the artist’s blog. This way if someone likes an artist’s work they can go directly to the artist’s blog and see if they have more work they like. Reposting (saving someone’s art to your device and uploading it to one of your accounts) is bad because it takes away that direct link to the original artist. This means that is is way harder for the original artist to gain exposure for their art and often leads them to be discouraged when they see a repost of their art that got way more attention than the original, which can make them a lot less motivated to make more art. That out of the way, time to rank reposters.
13) People who directly tag/provide a direct link to the artist and provide proof that the artist allowed them to repost their work/that they allow all their work to be reposted
I don’t actually hate you if you do this. I don’t really understand why you’d want to repost someone’s art instead of just reblogging it or putting a link on your Instagram story, or retweeting it if you’re on Twitter, but by directly linking to the artist and showing that you asked them about it or know for a fact that they’re okay with it, you’ve shown that you respect the time and effort they put into their work so thank you for being a decent human being.
12) People who directly tag/provide a direct link to the artist
Ok so you didn’t actually ask permission (or at least if you did you didn’t let anyone know that you did) so I don’t respect you as much as the people who do ask for permission to repost artwork, but at least you did provide a direct link to the artist so you’re not as bad as you could be.
11) People who provide the artist’s correct username and what platform they’re on but don’t directly link to the artist
Again, good that you provided their username and where to find them, but because you didn’t directly link to the artist, many people will just be lazy and like your post and move on, or like your post because they don’t have whatever social media the artist is on. This takes away notes that should go to the original artist, which frustrates me. I don’t flat out hate you but you’re on thin f*cking ice
10) People who provide the artist’s correct username but don’t specify what platform they’re on
Hey if you do this, especially if you post art that was originally found on another platform, it makes it significantly harder to find the original artist. People are even more likely to just like your post and go on with their days instead of checking out the original artist. This barely counts as credit and you have got to do better.
9) People who credit the wrong person
Usually when people do this it’s an accident, so I don’t hate you nearly as much as some of the other people on this list, but not taking the time to make sure the information about the artist you provided is correct is lazy and shows you don’t respect their work as much as you should. By the way, if you credited the wrong person on purpose so the original artist wouldn’t find out you were reposting, I hate you a LOT more.
8) People who ask the original artist for permission to repost their artwork but don’t actually wait for them to say yes before doing it
If you do this it’s clear that you are entitled and asked the artist for permission not because you actually cared about their answer but because you wanted to be able to say that you asked for permission. It’s clear that you don’t actually respect artists, and I hate you.
7) People who credit the right person but purposefully put a / right after the @ sign so it doesn’t actually tag the original artist
The only reason I don’t hate you for doing this is if the original artist knows you’re reposting their work but specifically said they don’t want to be tagged because they don’t want to deal with the notifications or something like that. If that’s not the reason than you’re likely just doing that so the original artist doesn’t get a notification that they were tagged in a post and thus doesn’t see that you reposted their work. That’s cowardly you’re a coward and a loser and I hate you.
6) People who don’t credit at all, but don’t claim to be the original artist and it’s obvious they’re not
If you don’t even bother to try to credit the artist then it shows you don’t care enough about their labor and just expect an endless supply of art that you can repost and get thousands of notes for even though you didn’t go through the effort of drawing it. I hate you with a passion. Credit artists you sack of sh*t.
5) People who say “credit to the artist!” or “credit to google/pinterest” or “I don’t know who made this but dm me if you do!”
Listen. The fact that you’re only my 5th most hated type of art reposter is not because I don’t hate you on an ASTRONOMICAL level, but because there are (unfortunately!) people who repost in worse ways than you do. “Credit to the artist!” is NOT actually giving credit to the artist because you’re not telling your followers who the artist is!! It’s not credit if you don’t specifically name who it came from!! I see this so much and I hate it I hate you if you do this. Similarly, “credit to Pinterest/google/some other website!” is not credit either!! A website did not draw that art, a person did and I will drop kick you off a cliff for refusing to acknowledge that!! Finally, and I think you can probably see where this is going, “I don’t know who made this but dm me if you do!” is, you guessed it, not crediting the original artist! The fact that you are so lazy as to not find the original artist but you also ask your followers to do it for you? Unbelievable!! The level of entitlement!! And these happen so much!!! I hate you I hate you I hate you.
4) People who repost work from artists who have specifically stated that they don’t allow reposts or who refuse to take down reposted work after the original artist asks them to
If you respect artists so little that you repost their work knowing they don’t want you to or refuse to take down their work after they ask you to, you are a horrible person. That art does not belong to you, you did not take the time to make it, and I HATE you so much for thinking you’re entitled to it. “Well then they shouldn’t have posted it on the internet -” shut UP that’s how they choose to share their talent! Art is art even if it’s not displayed anywhere, but artists who post their art on the internet are kind enough to share their talents with the world. Maybe the artist put their work on the internet so that they can find people interested in commissioning them, which helps provide them with funds that could be necessary to their survival. Or maybe art is something they do for fun that they could very well stop doing because of people like you who feel like they own sh*t just because it was posted on the internet (hint: posting artwork on the internet does not equal consent for everyone to use it)! I hope you have a sh*tty life. I hate you.
3) People who say “I’m not gonna credit, what are you going to do about it?”
If you do this, you’re most likely a troll, and most DEFINITELY an awful awful human being. If I met you in real life I would actually physically fight you regardless of whether I thought I could win or not because I hate you that much. Step on a rusty nail and learn basic respect for people’s time and effort. I hate you. (Also, if the original artist finds out what you’re doing they can at least file for copyright and hopefully get their work taken down. If you’re an artist whose work has been reposted by someone like this I’m deeply sorry for you and hope these reposters get all the sh*tty things they deserve in life).
2) People who pretend to be the original artist even though they’re not
They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, but definitely not in this case. If you have the AUDACITY to take credit for the work someone else put their time and effort into and accept all the praise and attention that the original artist should be getting, I hate you so unvelievably much. How is it possible to be that awful of a person? You are stupid and I hope you lose your job or something else similarly awful. (Again artists if you have ever experienced this I’m so so sorry for you).
1) People who repost art for the sole purpose of making fun of it
Congratulations, if you do this you are the worst asshole on this list of huge f*cking assholes. Not ONLY are you creating all the usual problems that come with reposting but you ALSO have the nerve to call someone’s art bad?! There is a SPECIAL place in hell for you. Likely if you do this you also make fun of marginalized people or kids, as most “bad art” blogs feature lgbt+ artwork done by lgbt+ people, or art of people of color, or children’s ocs that have like rainbow hair and vampire fangs and wings or something. I don’t CARE how bad you think their anatomy is and I don’t CARE if they have the “calarts art style” or “tumblr art style” the fact that you are taking the time to repost something somebody spent time on and criticize it is despicable and I hate you more than I hate anyone else besides bigoted people. I also don’t care if you think it’s a “joke”, if the original creator of the art ever found your repost it could be really harmful to their self esteem, and could cause them to stop making art, which means they’ll never have a chance to get “better”. Doing this is a personal attack on someone’s passion and I hate you so incredibly much for it. If you want art that you think is good so bad then f*cking make it yourself. What’s that? Oh you don’t make art you just think you could do better even though you’ve never drawn in your life/you just know what “good art” is? Sit down and shut the f*ck up. I hate you.
(Disclaimer #2: this category obviously does not extend to things like art that is racist or transphobic or anything like that. There’s a difference between calling out something that is genuinely harmful and mocking artists for drawing things that make them happy. The former is good the latter is bad.)
Anyways that is my list of art reposters ranked by how much I hate them! If you are any of these kinds of art reposter besides 13, 12 and maybe 11, then congratulations I hate you and hope you have an awful day!
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purgatoryandme · 4 years
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(Sorry this is gonna be long) I went through your entire letter by the water tag (sorry for spamming your notifs) and you have me blown away!!! The contrast between the realism of it being set during WW2 and the mystical, fantasy-horror of Ophelia, merchant of death, extremis etc. You mix the fantastical so so well with the nitty gritty of war with the bad bad mental health of all included, the intrigue, the mystery of it kills me.
(continued) the dynamics between Tony and bucky, peggy and Steve are just so realistic and the the way the howlies w stevetony are this figures of hope? During a time of revolution and change and violence as they carry pieces (The significance of art here kills me) of people's soul to show that they existed! Lw reminds me of IM, the intensity of your writing and the pacing n layering makes it read like an epic (w one definitive goal but small stories dozens of layers). It's, just, vey good (3/3) I won't even start about the plot n else bc that would actually kill me but also if you decide to not work on Lw is there any way you can collect the snippets on tumblr n post it on ao3 bc tumblr is finnicky at best and I don't wanna loose what you've created!! Thanks for being you and creating something literally so amazing!! I'm really sorry for the long ask and my English (it's not my first language)
Woah, thank you! Never be sorry about long messages! God, yeah, I fucking love the contrast between realism and fantasy in LW and it’s why it’s pretty much my favourite AU. WWII is such a heavily explored topic that like...often lacks any real introspection into the human element of both the suffering and LIFE that occurred during it (with obvious exceptions - a lot of biographies get into it, as do Jewish authors, but by and large published works tend to focus on the military elements and sheer scale/horror of things in a way that reads as voyeuristic or oddly detached). I was reading a really great historical fantasy book that dealt with a post-WWII Europe that was being torn apart between Japan and Germany with these magical elements that really...idk, allowed the true humanism of events to shine through with symbolism and ideas that are easier to connect to than just sheer grit?? And then two months later I was thinking on Civil War and a bunch of Tony meta and techno-fantasy (Extremmmmiiiiiiisssssssss), then boom! Letter by the Water just took me over for a few months.  Tony being a child in it wasn’t even the original intent, but once the idea blindsided me I just couldn’t let it go. Getting back into those blurring lines between realism and fantasy, SO MANY children were involved in war in ways that are intensely difficult to grasp - in a way, they were all forced to become adults (either through work, through losing parents, or simply living under martial law). Tony being a living breathing symbol of that? Tony HATING that? It literally being a symbol of his regression? AHHHHHH. Genuinely an element that blew my mind and I never would have thought of if not for Guilt For Dreaming by Vetinari on AO3 (this fic has time travel Tony with like...a lot of genuine limitations of being a child and magical realism and oihdiuashjdnasjk - it’s a VERY GOOD Tony fic). Ophelia is his foil in so many ways and I absolutely adore her being a teenager - hanging just on the cusp of adulthood but never EVER making it there despite being (maybe) older than them all.  I find the Howlies endlessly fascinating and am really disappointed that Marvel never went further with them. They’re this mixed race, mixed country regiment with wildly different skillsets and that’s ???? so interesting? They are normal men (and women bc Peggy ALWAYS should’ve been more involved with them) who kept up with Captain America!!!! They literally represented no country (despite Steve’s hero name) and were just this symbol of liberation - screw the system, screw orders, screw WAITING for help to come. Bucky complicates their whole dynamic in such interesting ways if you assume people KNOW Hydra took a special interest in him or that he survived their experiments, which presumably people /do/ know. They would’ve given people on the frontlines SO MUCH to gossip about!!! This is what I mean about the human elements of WWII - people are people, and they are going to hunger for stories and heroes in times of strife. The thing about art in wartime is that it WAS a huge thing in WWII. Art was specifically targeted and destroyed (museums, libraries, religious symbols), it was specifically commissioned by oppressive powers (the Nazi uniform is a HUGE example of that, as are the flags), and it became symbolic of resistance and propaganda both! Art permeated the ghettos, with little homemade theatres putting on plays and tiny paper strips containing poetry no one would ever see in concentration camps or shipped out in furniture the original owners will never touch again. Art was such bittersweet resistance, allowed for contemplation on religion, both could (through destruction) and could not be taken away (through never ending creation)...ugh. It’s such a huge element of how humans express themselves when all else is taken away. Ghetto poetry was a massive inspiration for this, but then the idea of audio caught me by the goddamn throat and refused to let go once I was going through historical resources and rediscovered the story of the Cellist of Sarajevo.  LW is very much so meant to read like an epic (rather specifically the seafaring kind, because it deals so heavily in time and the unknown and blue blue blue). I’m really happy so many people FEEL that in it. It’s such a massive idea that I don’t know if I’ll ever actually be able to write it in full, though I certainly want to try. I’ll totally post the snippets eventually. My transition into proper adulthood just keeps stopping me from actually sitting down and just writing - what with going back to school, looking for a job, getting a job, moving across the country - it’s been a lot. But soon! I definitely want to go back to work on CBT and Charybdis.
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alicenyras · 4 years
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hello y’all so tumblr is refusing to show me notifications for when people @ me in posts so if you’ve @/ed me recently or if u @ me in the future and i don’t interact w the post then feel free to send me a message or something to lmk bc missing posts is getting on my nervessss ty tumblr
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lovevalley45 · 4 years
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my tumblr is seriously glitching out bc it refuses to show my notifications from one specific person like HOMIE what the fuck
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yo so i just found ur blog and noticed u said sasodeis dont interact do u mind me asking why? im just genuinely confused and curious, dont mean it in a rude way. is it bc of ship wars and stuff?
Main three reasons why:
One, three s*sodeis ruined my life. One of them hurt me to the point where I can no longer speak in public (it has been 8 years and I still have not been able to overcome this crippling fear) and refused to take responsibility, even going to far as to ridicule me for being insecure. Now, I live with social anxiety.
Two, I thought I came up with it. I am pretty attached to T/ObiDei because I thought I was pretty original to have come up with this ship (I sat in my room trying to come up with new couples to ship after having exhausted my enthusiasm for UlquiHime and NaruHina and came to this magical conclusion that men can be together - once this realization came to be, I immediately thought about Tobi and Deidara) and I thought I was the first one. Two seconds later, after having Googled TobiDei, it’s clear that I am not the only one and the existing artwork and fanfic have only enticed me to go further down the rabbit hole. After having exhausted all existing creations, I demanded more so I took it upon myself to create more for them. That was eight years ago - and in three months, it will be nine.
Three, (and yes,) ship wars. There were more s*sodeis than TobiDeis back then. I ran a deviantART ask account and I got a couple of s*sodeis and anti-TobiDeis making fun of me. I didn’t find many people to interact with me because of existing friendships and “relationships.” I took this as a sign that I must squash all these enemies and show them the greatness of TobiDei, which is far superior to any other ship, especially s*sodei*.
This also leads to a fourth, more driving reason for my personal vendetta against the other ship:
I identify with Tobi. A lot. He got me through my darkest years of secondary school and his name literally saved my life. My nickname IRL is still Tobi after all these years.
Over the years, after having shipped him with Deidara for so long, I developed this strange-ass crush on him. So, it turned into me (feeling as though I am, to some extent, Tobi) shipping myself with Deidara. This happened kind of rapidly, I think. It has to be within two years of first shipping T/ObiDei. (Of course, I did feel a sense of belonging with Tobi the moment he appeared on screen.) I didn’t think I liked Deidara that much back then but my belonging with Tobi kind of made most of the interactions between those Sasori DA ask accounts and Deidara DA ask accounts leave a bitter taste in my mouth.
Now, anything relating to s*sodei makes me feel horrible. Like cheating, you know? So, I’d rather not see that in my notifications. I made efforts to filter out the tags but many leave their s*sodeis untagged. There are also accounts that just have the name in their URL, which isn’t a word I like to read often, and it makes me upset. To some degree, if their account is just s*sodei posts (or blatantly said to be just filled with it), I block them. I like to look at the tags (if any) people put on reblogs and if their other posts are interesting, I might stalk them a bit. If I have to scroll through untagged posts, I’d rather I lose a follower/fan than have to hurt myself because I am too curious for my own good.
All in all, it’s just trauma and bad experiences. Nothing concrete but it makes me feel icky so I’d rather not see it. Make me seem like a bad person or whatever, I don’t care (I actually do!!! I’m all sad now if you think I’m horrible. I thought this was Tumblr where all feelings are valid!!), but understand that it just hurts a lot and I don’t like to feel hurt.
*This is extremely untrue and all ships are equal because most of them are fictional and would not come to be. Real ships that have really set-sailed are on another category.
P.S. Yes, I am aware that blocking is an extreme thing to do but it prevents me from being irrationally angry and it prevents them from being harassed by me if I ever lose control, so I’m protecting both myself and them. They’re not really missing out on much. They can live.
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