#bc im convinced my best friend is going to leave me bc we disagreed on something

[madliberatiion]

Should I drop therapy even if it’s helping me?

I was sex trafficked and developed what psych calls DID. I’ve been told it’s severe. I can’t say I disagree with the fact that my “symptoms” are disabling, but I don’t agree with the pathology of the whole thing.

Anyways, my therapist is really helpful and we’ve made progress. It’s nice to have someone to listen and somebody who actually knows how to help. My friends don’t do either. The problem is I’m growing more and more anti-psych by the day. I don’t agree with psych hospitals AT ALL, and I don’t think the DSM is a good thing. However, I don’t know how to help myself without therapy. My memories work so that if I remind myself too much of the abuse or if it’s been too long without one of these, I respond by either SHing, trying to return to the ring, or other things that tie back to those. So I dunno what to do since therapy is helping me break those responses down.

Sorry that this is long. Any input is appreciated.

Its always appreciated if sb with similiar experiences wants to answer what helped them and what their perspective is ! @ anyone who sees this post (Disclaimer: Ive been labelled aspd, dpdr and used to be an addict so my experiences are probably a bit different)

If therapy is helpful to you thats awesome !! I think its usually the case that we have to somehow learn how to navigate the medical system as disabled and/or neurodivergent people. I think its rare that people can avoid it altogether.

I also had positive experiences in the past. For example years ago I loved to go to one of my psychiatrists. This guy was convinced that his only "function" in the psych system is to educate me on what he knows about the substances he can prescribe and then I could freely decide what I think would be helpful for myself. He was convinced that I am the person who knows myself best and he always made sure I had 100% bodily autonomy about what I want to do . He wouldve never said "no" if I had asked him to prescribe me any medication, even if he had advised me against taking it. The last time I saw him I asked him if "there are any other medications I can try for my impairments"?and he said "there are ALWAYS more medications to try 😂!" But that he advises me to stop taking medication altogether (he also explained why) and that he thinks the risks of taking medication (in my case) outweigh the benefits. But of course , if I wanted to try another medication he would prescribe it anyway. What Im trying to say here is that of course psychs can be helpful and theres no shame in relying on sth they can provide, even though they uphold a harmful system that operates on a carceral logic. For example Im 10000% sure that this guy wouldve locked me up if I had been "too honest", so I simply wasnt honest. Hes also one of those people who thought Im "sooo interesting as a patient" bc I have a mysterious and cool personality "disorder". He always treated me with respect though.

I personally am not taking any medication ever again and I have no intention of ever going to therapy again. Norm deviance that was either harmless, queer or that I considered irrelevant for treatment was pathologized and used as a reason to be misogynistic queerphobic and ableist towards me. It fucked me up so bad. I had such a hard time identifying as human for so long bc I was literally treated like I am a monster. Idk but i think if you notice that things like this also happen to you and that it fucks with your self esteem or makes impairments worse or that it restricts your bodily autonomy in any way (like one therapist wanted me to piss in a cup every week so she knows Im still clean and if I would relapse then I couldnt be in therapy anymore. I didnt do this, I just left.) or that therapy maybe even makes you blame or hate yourself for not fitting into neuronormativity, maybe it could be good to consider stopping therapy even if it helps you in other ways. Or instead of leaving therapy you could think about how you can (mostly) avoid discrimination (by lying for example or by instructing friends on what to do when youre in crisis so nobody calls the cops on you and so you dont have to rely on your therapist in times were you might be locked up if you are too honest) while in therapy.

What I highly recommend is finding a community that holds space for your mental pain, horrific past experiences,that accepts your neurodivergency and that accomodates you. Thats what made therapy/psych wards unnecessary to me. My impairments are (mostly) accomodated by my friends, my deviation from neuronormativity is celebrated and even envied sometimes. Nowadays even strangers hold space for the trauma I experienced (due to my queerfeminist activism and engangement in the queer community). Like for example if youre politically left (which you are if youre antipsych tbh) Id go to an antifa /anarchist /communist meetup/activism group, I bet they all want to hear about your experiences and learn from you and they will 100% show solidarity. You can obv find community anywhere though; a friend of mine is really into martial arts (BJJ), the people there are like family to her. Or the art-scene in my city is soo cool and accepting and diverse. Ive also heard about addicts4addicts housing groups that support each other where you can live with them without paying anything even if youre not clean or Ive also heard about a community in my city thats from schizophrenics for schizophrenics where they support each other so they arent forced to go back to the psych ward. Maybe sth like that exists at your place too? And even if it doesnt already exist then you could work on creating a space like this for yourself and for others. I bet a lot of people need it .

Dont take my advice on what to do too seriously though. Perspectives, experiences and opinions other people have might be very different. You know yourself and what you need best.

#ask #did #dissociative identity disorder #dissociative #anti psychiatry #mad liberation

[jennaissantes]

hey stupid, ily — lee donghyuck

SYPNOSIS: Situationships are the worst. But being in a situationship with Lee Donghyuck is even worse.

PAIRING: best friend!haechan x gn!reader

GENRE: fluff wooo | bff2l

WARNINGS: profanity, mentions of food.

WC: 1k

LILYS N0TE: HIIIIII OMG MY FIRST NCT FIC HERE WOOOOOOO!!! This fic is dedicated to my 4lyfer @gu-nil sunny D: IM SORRY FOR POSTING IT LIKE… 4 DAYS AFTER UR BDAY IM SAWRY I RLLY HOPE U LIKE IT. ILU SUNNY MUWAH. please do give me some feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated <3 and omg yas ty @amakumos and @intotheneozone for proofreading it for me D: <3 AND OMG yas @sunshinelixie-lee ty to u too for giving me some motivation to write i hope it turned out well hgfjdk. I wont be tagging my usual taglist bc i usually write for enha and idk if yall wanna be tagged for nct fics ghjdfksla.

Maybe taking Advanced Math for your GCE’s wasnt exactly the best idea ever.

Most would disagree with you. But hey, at least you had your best friend with you. Haechan, or Donghyuck (as he prefers), had been your best friend for the past 4 years. That doesnt sound bad am I right? In fact it sounds completely normal. (Unless youre one of those people.)

Except at this point you didnt know if he was just your.. best friend. You were certain that you were the only person who felt that way (or so you thought). You’ve been harbouring your crush on him for the past two years. You’re honestly surprised the secret hasn’t come out yet. What was to not like about Hyuck? He was the absolute sweetheart. Literally the best friend you’d ever had. Beyond that, he had all of it. The looks, the personality, the friends even. But if someone were to ask you why you liked him, youd definitely say that it was those small acts of kindness (or was it love?). Maybe it was the way he’d always make sure you were okay, always keeping an eye out for you, or the way he always managed to pack an extra packet of pocket sticks for you, knowing of your sudden weird craving for the snack. Or maybe it was those subtle looks he gave you, when he thought you werent looking. You always convinced yourself that it was just a… yknow… normal friendly gaze. But in the thoughts that only you could hear, you could swear you saw love in those eyes. And that was what made you stay up all night, gushing about him to your girlfriends, who were so done with you and him not getting together already.

So it was only natural for you to panic when they left you and him alone one day, on a so-called ‘get together.’ Turns out they were actually planning to get you both together, and then ditch the scene and wait later for the details.

‘Oh they are SO dead for this’ you thought as you sat opposite Donghyuck, who was equally as awkward as you were.

Your friends had dropped you off in a restaurant. Well.. not exactly dropped you off. Two of them had come inside to guide you to your table, while you were under the impression that they were going to sit down with you. Well clearly you were wrong because, why was only Hyuck sitting at the table (which wasn't supposed to be a table for two) when Jaemin, Jeno and Jisung were supposed to be there too?

They sat you down and then glared at the two of you. “Neither of you are going to leave, unless both of you come to terms with your feelings for each other. Got that?” You blushed a deep red, cursing at them inside your head for doing this to you. Then they’d smiled at you and walked out, leaving the two of you feeling both flustered and awkward at the sudden demand. Hyucks friends had done the same. They’d decided they were done with hearing him talk on and on and on about you, yet denying his feelings for you.

“So uh… do you wanna order someth-“ you start off but he interrupts you. “Listen. They arent gonna let us out without doing what they want us to do anyways. So lets just talk about it first shall we?” He straight at you.

“O-okay sure. You go first.” you say, desperately trying to look elsewhere.

He takes a deep breath. It was now or never, he thought.

“I uh… may have a big, fat, embarrassing crush on you.” He says. You dont register what hes saying (probably because youre too busy admiring how good he looks) . “What?”

He takes your hand in his, trying not to make it obvious how nervous he was. It could go so wrong if you didnt like him back in that way. So horribly wrong.

“I really, really like you y/n. In a more than friends type of way.” It’s cute honestly, how he turns red, trying to confess without messing up. Sure this wasnt the amazing confession hed imagined (or planned), but who cares? As long as he was sincere with it,what could go wrong?

You, on the other hand, couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth.

He likes you?? No way. He’s probably saying this so your friends can let the two of you go. But then why is he holding your hand? And hes looking at you like that again.

He’s slowly getting impatient. Its been what.. almost a whole minute and you haven’t said anything. Although you do look kinda cute with your mouth open like that.

“I-I think I like you too Hyuck.” you say, smiling at him and tightening your hold on his hand. He smiles wide, but says “You think? So you're not sure huh.” You roll your eyes but bring your intertwined hands together and kiss the back of his hand before smiling at him. “Nope. Im a 100% sure I do.”

Donghyuck thinks youre the absolute prettiest when you smile. Your lips curve into the most beautiful curve and all he could do was think of kissing you. How could he not?

So he does. He stands up and bends over the table, hands coming to hold your face. And he gives you the sweetest kiss you could ask for, smiling as he pulls away and sits back down, very much happy with the way you flush red.

When the two of you walk out of the restaurant, hand in hand, you cant help but think, ‘How did I actually not see this coming?’

All those hugs that lasted a little longer than they should have, associating each other with the most random things, always trying to make each other smile, all those playlists dedicated to each other, the two of you were really stupid for not realising it sooner.

“How long have you liked me again?”

“Two years.”

“What the fuck?! You’re telling me we could’ve done this two years ago?!”

#k-radio! #kflixnet #nct masterlist #nct 127 #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct fanfic #nct dream #haechan #haechan nct #lee donghyuck #donghyuck fluff #haechan fluff #nct fluff #haechan x reader #haechan x you #nct donghyuck #donghyuck drabbles #nct haechan #nct donghuck #donghyuck fanfic #nct dream fics #nct dream fluff #haechan angst #donghyuck angst #nct angst #donghyuck x reader

[kanmom51]

hi, genuinely curious, why do you think you know so much about bts’s personal lives? like just shipping real people in general that you don’t now personally, bc i saw some of ur posts(not just u, a LOT of others seem to think the same) and i’m confused like how do you know all that from a video/photo?

Ask 2:  hi i think i might have sounded rude in my last anon and im so so sorry if i did, i don’t mean to sound mean but english isn’t my first language and i don’t now how else to write it.

What i mean is i just can’t see it, but so many ppl including you seem convinced jimin and jungkook are a couple? i now there’s probably something i’m missing that’s obvious to everyone else bc to me they just seem like really good and close friends, so like what is it that you think makes it obvious?? (again i’m just genuinely curious abt this pls don’t take it the wrong way 💜)

I’m not clairvoyant and don’t claim to know what goes on behind closed doors.  I have said time and time again that we have no way of knowing what goes on when the cameras are off or when they are in private, unless they tell us.

I do speculate sometimes and make assumptions based on the content I’ve seen, but always original content, and not edited clips.  

I have also made it clear every single time that these are my opinions and conclusions, take them or leave them.

There is a ton of BTS content out there to go through, which includes, just as an example (because there is so much more):  Run BTS episodes, interviews (video, written and radio), member Tweets, memories, Bon Voyage, packages (summer, winter), Bangtan bombs, fan meets, Musters, concerts etc.

You need to watch original content, because, and it saddens me to say this, there is some Jikook YT content that is distorted, edited, slow motioned to fit the story, and not all of it is ‘real’ in the sense, that if you see the original content, see the true moment within it’s context and in real speed, well, it isn’t a ‘real’ moment.  I have called out some of those moments in the past.

But there are things you can’t fake.  

There a several moments that solidified for me the special connection between JK & JM.  

Watch original content over the years and you will see there is something special between those two, a special and strong connection.  JK clearly finds JM as someone he can confide in and someone that can calm him or console him in times of need.  He has said it in interviews and we have seen him do so in the content out there.

JM is JK’s anchor.  His safe place.

JK is JM’s happy place.  When JM is down JK is the one who knows how to cheer him up.  Even Jin had mentioned it once in an interview.

JK is JM’s protector in sorts.  We’ve seen them at the airports, we’ve seen him carry JM after concerts.

They are super close.  We know they constantly choose to travel together in the same car (when every member has their own car and they are the only ones together)...  They choose spend ‘off time’ together - bowling, going to watch a movie, ice skating with each other.  JK himself told us in BV4 that the only members he sae during their time off were JM & Hobi.  They are just super close.

So what made me make the one step further and conclude they are romantically involved?

There are several things that pushed me over the edge.  Some of them are:

First, the content, again.  There is content out there that is way beyond “we are very close platonic friends”.  Things they say or do in front of the camera that give you so much “we are a couple” vibe. 

There is content that makes you feel like you are intruding on a very intimate private moment: 

MAMA 2018 is one of them.  I can’t say one, because there are so many moments there that are “WOW, what’s going on here?”

Rose Bowl is also such a moment that is as clear as day, with no acceptable logical explanation other than: “there is something more between those two”.  

Those are only 2 examples, but there are many more such moments, where the intimacy level is way more than even the best platonic friendship out there.

You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to put 1 & 1 together here.  These moments are loud and clear.

There are the more subtle moments too, those that add up on you, those that if you will look at each of them by themselves you would say: “yeah, nothing here”, but when you put them together, another one and another one and another one, well the conclusion is pretty much clear.

It’s JM’s Tweets, their matching clothing over the years, their choice to spend time together, their private trip, GCFT, JK’s choice to put JM front and center in all his other GCF’s, the way they look at each other, the way they talk about each other, the two very famous lives from 2016 (Tae’s & Hobi’s), their own lives (OMG), things JM tells us (like waking up and seeing JK is what makes him happy these days), “you are me I am you”,  the way they touch, especially during the first few years (2016-2018), those hesitant light touches & brushes (if skinship is not an issue here, why do they hesitate so much to touch each other??? when they have no problem doing so with the others, all when we do know just how close they are), the way they talk to each other, they way JK lets JM get away with shit, while he doesn’t the other members, the way JK drops honorifics with JM +++++ so much more.

There another couple of independent points that helped to push me over the edge too.  

The first is the other members reactions when JK & JM go on with their shenanigans.  RM, Hobi, Jin, Suga & Tae all react differently, each and every one of them has a tell.  Suga and Tae go blank many times.  Jin lowers his head.  Hobi either had a worried look on his face or a big fat smile, and RM, well he’s the most obvious out of the lot.  It’s facial expressions, uneasy movement, fisting his thighs, looking to Hobi or Suga with pleading eyes, running to the two thinking he might have to defuse a moment, separating the two when he feels it’s needed.  It’s all that and then some.  Now if there is nothing ‘more’ going on between those two, why is all of that even necessary???  Those two’s interactions on camera just make the rest of the group nervous, especially RM.  Ask yourself the question: why??  

Another thing I keep asking myself is, if these two are clearly super close, why is there a constant need to downplay their closeness?  This is something that is done by BTS and BH as well as the fandom.  And I find it hard to understand, again, if there is nothing extra going on between them, why downplay them.  You may disagree with me on this, but to me it seems they are way closer than JM & Tae, but they are called ‘soulmates’ while JK & JM are ‘nothing’? It’s like they are there, and it’s clear as day just how close they are, but it’s not a subject they are allowed to talk about.  And the way the fandom is as much as ignoring it also raises so many questions for me.  If this is an innocent platonic close friendship, why ignore it?  How come the fandom isn’t celebrating it? 

Thing is, that not only does the fandom ignore their connection, they are being hated for it.  The level of anti and hatred  out there towards them is unbelievable.  And yet again, that raises the question of why?  If nothing is going on there why such anti towards those two, together, in particular?

At the end of the day, I guess life experience is probably what helps me out here.  I have been around for a while, experienced love and heartbreak, and also a long term relationship. I know the signs, you could say.  It helps being able to assess a situation and read into it.  

It’s ok to question yourself.  I do so constantly.  I watch and re-watch content.  I read interviews, I question my logic, my conclusions.  I, just like any normal person, do have self doubt at times.  Believe me, I would not have written what I have before checking and re-checking myself.  And still, these are my conclusions.  I believe that JK & JM are not only super close, but also romantically involved.  There you have it.

#Jungkook #Jimin #JK #JM #Jikook #Kookmin #BTS #Jikook are real

[jidai]

jidai’s budget mutuals/friends appreciation

Hi, all! I’m quite late with this but I decided to put a small friends and mutual appreciations post in hopes of brightening up the end of this year a little bit. ❤️ If you were tagged, please make sure to check below for a small little message from me. However, I want to make it very clear that I truly appreciate all of my mutuals. You guys brighten up my dash and always reblog or create so many funny and creative posts. I just wanted to give a few special shout outs to those that have taken out the time to reach out and interacted with me past my ask box or we just see each other often.

The messages are ordered by your URL, so you might have to scroll for awhile before you see your messages. I’m so sorry lmao. 

Happy New Years, everyone!

@25th​​, Nonnie, the Young Genius. bro, remind me how old you are 🧍‍♀️ Like my brain CANNOT fathom the thought that you’re so skilled at SO many things and you’re not even in your twenties??? PLEASE SPARE THE TALENT. i will even accept crumbs. But I’m writing to tell you that you are such a wonderful presence on my dash. I always look forward to your gfx. They’re so SO good and you’re improving from one post to another. Like WOW. Now, you’re even starting an art blog, too? You’re so dedicated to the arts. I respect that a lot. Your hard work and commitment will bring you very far in life, whatever you decide to do. 

I love interacting with you. You’re such a big sweetheart and full of positivity and energy. I look forward to seeing more of your art and gfx ❤️

@biscuitwalk​, Dann, the AK Wiz. Dann, I know you’re not as active on here so idk when or if you will ever read this but I want to say that I miss you and your creations so, so much. I will say it a hundred times over and OVER but you inspire me so goddamn much. You have no fucking idea. Your works are absolutely gorgeous and unique. I can look at it once and I can instantly recognize your style (and your cute lil’ pufferfish <3). The way you utilize colors and implement various techniques, shapes, textures into your work. Goddamn, you’re so good. I always look to your work if I ever need inspiration and they help me brainstorm. God, I wish I could put it into words how much I adore your works.

We didn’t really talk for long but you seemed like such a kind and fun person to be around. I wish you the best in your future endeavors, wherever you are. Stay safe <3

@elriccs, Mirai, the Short King. 🧍‍♀️ ok look I know, I know I’m TERRIBLE at replying to you and I’m so fucking sorry. I absolutely love to talk to you but my dumbass cannot seem to reply in a timely manner LASELKSAL. That’s on me and I gotta do better. Anyways!!! Thank you SO fucking much for always leaving such kind messages on my work. I swear to god you’re one of my biggest hype man and I ALWAYS look forward to reading your tags. They’re so funny and it makes me all tingly and happy inside. Bro, like, you just radiate big fun vibes, bro. I really hope that I can get to know you better so I can just insult you until it’s too late to walk away </3

And of course, let me also remind you that I love your works so much. They way that you utilize your textures and those muted colors... OOMPH *chefs kiss* I will always love--

@lockhvrts​​, Em the Soulsborne GOD. hi em 🥺 it’s been awhile since I’ve had a proper conversation with you and I hope you’re doing okay! I miss you and our conversations where we do nothing but geek out and complain about the game industry lmao. if you manage to read this, I just wanted to let you know I miss your presence here. It’s been kinda dull not seeing your beautiful soulsborne gifs and your game rants. Let’s catch up soon. <3 stay safe and well!

@nathanprescutt, Benn, the Man. BENNNNNNNN.  I love you a lot bro. I know we haven’t had long conversations for some time and I hope I can change that! You were my first friend on this blog and I will always appreciate it. I remember us just geeking out over your works and how I would always send you a gfx request like once a week LMAO. The one thing that I have always appreciated about you was the fact that you’re very opinionated (if not, very vocal on your stance on things) and you hold your ground. There were a few time where you encouraged me to speak on topics that I think I shouldn’t and that stuck with me for quite awhile. I’m still a nervous rambling mess when it comes to debates but just know that the one time you supported me to voice my opinion--I hold it very dear to my heart. 

While I don’t spend much time together, I will always remember our animal crossing session. It was  so much fun just trashing and chilling on your island. Especially the bar :( that bar was fucking AMAZING. Maybe once FFXVI comes out, we can geek out hehe

Also, thank you so much for sending in photos of all your doggos, omg. I miss seeing them so much I hope they’re doing well. Stay hot, my German bro lol. Ich bin sehr dankbar, so eine tolle Freundin zu haben. ❤️❤️❤️

@noxdivina​, Lin the Big Dick Daddy Kind. The church is open for business bitch and I’m here to preach the GOSPEL.

Okay, jokes aside, I’m really happy that we became mutuals. You’ve always give off this like, mysterious cosmic vibe (????? huh). And your selfies just further proves that you are wtf. But you’re always so kind to those that you interact with. You’re an absolutely sweetheart and like I just want to give you a giant hug every time we interact. You’re such a soft human being. It’s so nice being around you. It’s like being tossed in the oven and baked at 250 degrees F for 25 minutes. And to boot you’re really talented, hello? God really said let there be a perfect human being and yeeted you into the universe. Thank you for always leaving such kind messages and words in my DM/askbox/works. I cherish them so much. I hope I can get to know you better in the future bc you’re rad, bro <3

anyways, updated drawing of u and maya:

i always assume you’re in a black fur parka 24/7 and maya is coatless neck down. also deck me with those jacked arms of yours thanks  🧍‍♀️

(edit: fuck i forgot to draw a PARTY HAT ON MAYA IM SORRY)

@rokuseis​, Sei, the Dumber.

i have nothing to say to you go away you banana hater ASELKSAEKL

BITCH, you doo bee getting on my nerve 24/7/365 🧍‍♀️ you were an unexpected but a very welcomed addition to my life. I can’t believe we really went 1 fuckin’ year without speaking to each other and then suddenly our friendship blew up because over a stupid BANANA. Now you gotta deal with me and my stupid, random, crude ass messages daily. I cannot. Clown to clown communication. But thank you so much bitch for being there for me and telling all of these funny ass stories and life experiences.

I know I don’t say it a lot because when we talk it’s literally just dogs barking at each other but I want to make it clear now: I love your humor and vibe so much. You never fail to make me laugh anytime I talk to you and I appreciate it so much. I can’t tell you how many times I felt better after talking to you. Even though sometimes your fucking jab hits hard and I end up actually inSULTED BY IT. But thank you for becoming my friend and I look forward to all of our stupid moments together. Looking forward to shitting in your sink when I finally fly to your home <3

@wolfamongthem, Anna, the Grinch. Please don’t hurt me for that title. I'm just saying if someone needs a live casting, it’ll be u. Anyways, did you know that I was so fucking intimidated by you for a long ass time, even before we became mutuals aseljas LMAO. I always see your gifs around on explore and they’re so gorgeous and then I look at your text posts and it’s u roasting people like there’s no tomorrow- 🧍‍♀️ bitch I was SCARED OF U KSKS. Now that I’ve talked to you a few times, you’re really funny like where do you find those reaction memes????? Like bro you and your shitposts is my morning cup of coffee. 

Anyways, in 2021 I expect a full-fledge review of all AAA games from you-- no more shit talking in the tags let it all out BITCH. Thank you for being such a great mutual! I look forward to see what weird shit you will send me the next time we talk lmao

@zenien​​, Selm, the I’m-gay-for-Lady-Maria-or-anything-that-moves-in-BB-Bitch™. ok bitch if I’m being honest I wrote yours last so my brain is FRIED. so everything i say from here is raw from the HEARt cause that’s all I got left. But anyhow, we savin’ the best for last! honestly, i didn’t expect you to barge into my life like that. i really didn’t. i was just gonna keep admiring with my 7 feet (2.1336 meters) pole. I’m glad you made the first move because look where we are wtf 🧍‍♀️ friends??? I wouldn’t believe you if you told me that in 2014 when I first followed you lmao. 

You’re such a kind soul. I know you may disagree but I’m determined to convince you. I can’t tell you how much I want to thank you for taking the time to talk to me during my rough bits. It’s like sitting on a wooden bench in a park during sunset and you sit next to me, just enjoying the vast sky. You radiate such peaceful energy. It’s very calming. Or you know, 2 seconds later i’m suddenly suplexed by your 40 tons of insults like what-- 

Thank you for everything, so far. Truly. It’s been so fun listening to you talk about your Bloodborne journey and see your reactions live. It’s been so fun to see you post your graphics and it continues to blow me away. It’s been so fun hearing about your life and the stories of your adulthood. Every words that we have exchanged, I hold dearly to my heart--more than you ever know. Love u bitch.

#for mutuals #mutuals don't ask about your titles i was being quirky LMAO #this took so long so i hope it works properly sksks #it hasn't been proofread so enjoy the mess

[whenismuna]

1-50 :)

:)

1. What are your nicknames? What do you prefer to be called? mostly just steph/stoof. prefer to be called Big Lesbian.

2. What books on your shelf are begging to be read? my bee book, my shark book, my rachel carson biography and my women in science history book :)

3. How often do you doodle? What do your doodles look like? like...never

4. What do you do if you can’t sleep at night? Do you count sheep? Toss and Turn? Try to get up and do something productive? i just make up a scenario and think lol

5. How many days could you last in solitary confinement? How would you do it? i literally never leave my house unless im going to class so i think i could last pretty long

6. Do you save old greeting cards and letters? Throw them away? depends

7. Who is the biggest pack rat you know? michelle

8. When making an entrance in to a party, do you make your presence known? Do you slip in and look for someone you know? Do you sneak in quietly and find a safe spot to roost? usually make it unknown unless i know everyone

9. What is your strongest sense? If you had to give one up, which would it be? probably smell or hearing and id give up the sense of abandonment that i feel from everyone ive ever interacted with

10. How many times a day do you look at yourself in the mirror? if front camera counts too, then a lot

11. What is the strangest thing you believed as a child? i used to think that india was a continent on its own? i had literally zero reasoning i just always thought it was

12. What is one guilty pleasure you enjoy too much to give up? my sweet baby boys :)

13. Who performs the most random acts of kindness out of everyone you know? idk??? i mean its not like a competition yknow?

14. How often do you read the newspaper? Which paper? Which sections? never

15. Which animals scare you most? Why? none? like actually zero animals intimidate me because i know that if they could kill me, like they dont have morals so theyre just doing what they know idk

16. Are you more likely to avoid conflict or engage it head-on? i will do literally anything to avoid a conflict

17. What was the most recent compliment you’ve received and savoured? the other day like 3 people complimented my bernie pin on my jacket? 

18. What is something about yourself that you hope will change, but probably never will? everything :-)

19. Are you a creature of habit? Explain. if i have a habit of doing something, i will do everything in my power to not break it

20. Are you high maintenance? Explain. i constantly want to talk to people but will also ignore everyone. im sorry.

21. When was the last time you really pushed yourself to your physical limits? every time i walk up the fucking stairs

22. Do you have a whole lot of acquaintances or just a few very close friends? Why? very few close friends bc im anxious and in middle/high school everyone hated me

23. Are you more inclined to “build your own empire” or unleash the potential of others? wtf?

24. What’s a strange occurrence you’ve experienced but have never (or rarely) shared with anyone? shai and i are convinced we saw a ghost once in a hospital. it was wild

25. What do you think about more than anything else? that one insta pic :) such a happy boy

26. What’s something that amazes you? that one insta pic :) such a happy boy

27. Do you prefer that people shoot straight with you or temper their words? Why? i mean like you should definitely be honest, but dont be rude yknow? im sensitive 

28. Where’s your favourite place to take an out-of-town guest? it used to be cats closet and sammy t’s but theyre both closed :’( so now its the river probably

29. What’s one thing you’d rather pay someone to do than do yourself? Why? idk

30. Do you have a catchphrase? nah

31. What’s your reaction towards people who are outspoken about their beliefs? What conditions cause you to dislike or, conversely, enjoy talking with them? i think its important to talk about what you believe in especially when people disagree with you because you can learn different viewpoints and where people are coming from. the point where i dislike someone is when their beliefs infringe on other peoples existence/human rights

32. How and where do you prefer to study? i dont know how to study :)

33. What position do you sleep in? one leg bent and the other on the other side of the country and on my tummy

34. What’s your all-time favourite town or city? Why? prague :0

35. What are the top three qualities that draw you to someone new? girl, tall is always a plus, ya gotta be funny boi

36. How has your birth order/characteristics of siblings affected you? well having two older brothers and being the only girl made me have thicker skin so theres that, but my parents also have higer expectations of me bc the boys fucked up constantly and im nothing like them (apparently)

37. If you could eliminate one weakness or limitation in your life, what would it be? id fix my GOTDAM knee! i wanna be able to workout without limitations!!!!!!!!!!!

38. If you could restore one broken relationship, which would it be? oh lord -_-

39. If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to? idk probably like sarah? ive always liked that name

40. Do you believe ignorance is bliss? Why or why not? it depends...

41. What do you consider unforgivable? a lot. i dont forgive easily tbh

42. Have you forgiven yourself for past personal failures? Why or why not? depends on what it is. mostly no

43. How difficult is it for you to forgive someone who refuses to apologize? again, i will not forgive people. like if youre my friend and you fuck up badly, ill still be your friend but ill never forgive you or forget what what you did, believe me. i hold strong grudges.

44.Do you hold any convictions that you would be willing to die for? i will die for a single grain of rice.

45. To what extent do you trust people? Explain. i like to trust people but others in the past have made it hard for me to do that to people in the future :-)

46. In what area of your life are you immature? all

47. What was the best news you ever received? when i found out i was going to see michelle in japan last year :D

48. How difficult is it for you to be honest, even when your words may be hurtful or unpopular? if my words are hurtful i wont say it, but if theyre unpopular i literally dont care

49. When did you immediately click with someone you just met? Why? What was the long term result? Conversely, are you close with anyone now that you really disliked at first? on tuesday but thats whatever i guess... we talked twice and now we dont anymore but its,,, whatever..,, i dont think im friends with people i didnt like at first

50. When do you find yourself singing? when im driving or home alone.

#thanks bae #shrugman