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#bc if i did say it he'd just deny it of course
kentopedia · 9 months
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i miss when we first met
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FEATURING. dazai osamu x f!reader & f!reader x chuuya nakahara — wc: 15.1k
SUMMARY: you'd always been in love with Dazai, but you started to doubt that he'd ever cared for you in return. chuuya, though, had never shown you anything but true affection.
CONTENTS: nsfw 18+ ONLY, pm!dazai, pm!reader, mostly dazai x reader but…, unhealthy relationship dynamics, voyeurism, cheating, manipulation, smut, degradation, guns, angst, dazai is very bad at expressing emotions, pet names, horrible communication, unrequited (?) love, the list goes on bc they’re in the port mafia just be warned
note: this took me like 4 months to finish & i am so so nervous to post it lmao. i wanted to write something different & this is very outside my comfort zone! :) but it's dazai's birthday so i figured i might as well share it today
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You rolled onto your side away from Dazai, still breathing heavily as you came down from your high.
Beside you, he had shifted onto his forearms, moving up against the headboards to sit up straight. The covers fell off of him, revealing the marks that you’d left all over his body, the scars from a life lived in the mafia.
Under the red silk sheets, you were silent, your head settling into the pillow as you stared at him.
He’d deny it, but he was beautiful, a tempting, alluring creature that you couldn’t get enough of.
But you also knew Lucifer had once been God’s most beautiful angel, and it only made sense that Dazai Osamu would hold the same kind of exquisiteness.
Dazai closed his eyes, rolled his neck as he leaned back, stretching out all of the stiff muscles. He didn’t touch you again, kept a distance as he wiped the sweat that had dried on his forehead, the fluids that had stained the sheets between you.
He used to talk to you, after something so intimate. Used to hold you in his arms and trace your skin with a gentleness you didn’t know he possessed. He hadn’t always been cruel when he fucked you, hadn’t always put his own needs before yours.
Of course, Dazai had never loved you. That was something you were certain of in your very core. But he’d held at least some shred of respect for you before becoming the head of the Port Mafia. Now, you didn’t think he saw you as anything more than a means to an end.
It didn’t matter, though. It didn’t matter that Dazai spoke to you minimally when you two weren’t alone, that everyone in the Port Mafia knew you were nothing more than the woman who slept in his bed.
It didn’t matter because you loved him. You’d stood by his side since the beginning, since he’d recruited Chuuya, since he’d lost Oda.
Since he’d killed Mori.
You’d been with him through all of it, seen every horrid side to him, and you’d never once wanted to escape. Dazai had his claws in you, and he had them in deep. The thought of being anywhere but with him had never crossed your mind.
“Akutagawa told me what happened yesterday.”
You blinked, snapping out of your haze as Dazai regarded you with cool, condescending eyes. He was peering at you from over his shoulder, picking his dark button-up off the floor. The skin on his back was red from scratches, the lines dragging through his taut skin.
“Did he?” you said, looking down at your nails. You hadn’t expected anything less. Akutagawa did everything in his power to get exaltation from Dazai. “I’m sure his report was thorough.”
Dazai’s jaw clenched. His eyes narrowed, a darkened tint flashing in them. “That’s all you have to say?”
His voice was unamused, icy, and it reminded you that no matter how many times you crawled into his bed, let him use you however he wanted, he was still your boss. He was Dazai Osamu, the man whom everyone in Yokohama feared.
You swallowed. “I’m sorry.” Your gaze twisted away from him, unable to meet his hardened expression completely. “I was distracted. It was my fault entirely.”
Dazai made a noise in the back of his throat as he moved out of the bed. He sauntered across the room, so quietly and cat-like, and you buried yourself deeper into the mattress, wanting to sink into it completely.
“You’re lucky, then, that Akutagawa was able to deflect the bullets.” He began replacing the bandages that had slipped off of his face, covering his cheek with disgust.
He let you see him completely when it was just the two of you. It took every ounce of your self-control not to read into that, to wonder if it was just a habit leftover from when you were younger.
“I am lucky.”
Truthfully, you’d only hesitated for half of a second, momentarily lost in your own loop of suffering, and your opponent had gotten an edge on you. They’d shot at you, then the bomb, nearly prematurely blowing up the building.
“After decades of work, I would’ve thought you’d know better by now.” Dazai sighed wearily, like your presence irritated him. It probably did. “I’ll consider moving you. I’m sure there’s a place for you where you can’t get yourself killed if you fuck up.”
“Dazai—” you swallowed, a horrid tasting stinging your mouth as you remembered your time with him had come to an end. He was back to being Mori’s underling, the man who looked at the city like it was nothing but a chessboard. “Boss,” you remedied quickly, all too used to addressing him differently. It was difficult, sometimes, to recognize where Dazai began, and the Port Mafia’s boss ended. “It was a stupid error. In all the time you’ve known me, have I ever done something like that before?”
Dazai hesitated momentarily, before tensing his shoulders. He didn’t answer your question. “Don’t let it happen again.” A warning was in his eyes when they met yours through the mirror. “I don’t have the patience to find a replacement for you, and Akutagawa’s too valuable an asset to lose to a seasoned professional’s careless mistake.”
You exhaled, looking back down at your hands. The ones that had already been stained in so much blood, wrought with crime and bad intent. “Understood.”
You finally climbed out of the bed, missing the warmth that it gave you, even though Dazai’s cold body always sucked it away. He laid so stiffly next to you most of the time. You remembered when he used to sleep with his forehead pressed to the back of your neck.
As you dressed, Dazai kept his eyes on his work, never paying you any attention. You felt discarded, useless, and you wanted to hate him, wanted to hate yourself for longing to wrap your arms around him, hug him from behind.
“I’ll send you with Chuuya tomorrow,” he said, scanning reports and assignments that he’d thrown aside lazily last night. “An easy assignment outside of Yokohama. Think you can manage that?”
“Just give me the job.” You snatched the paper out of Dazai’s hand, and he didn’t say a word, only watched as you perused it. It was, really, the simplest task he’d given you in the past few weeks. You’d felt like he’d been overworking you just to avoid you. “Fine. I’ll take it.”
Dazai’s smile widened, sinister, and wicked. He brushed his hand delicately over your shoulder, against your neck before patting you on the head. “I trust you won’t let me down.”
Going against every sensible atom in your being, you smiled wearily. His minimal display of affection warmed you, a deep pang settling in your soul. “Have I ever?”
“No.” He held a sort of awed fascination, twisting a part of your hair between his fingers. “How lucky someone must be to be my greatest enemy. To get the kiss of death from an angel is not such a bad way to die.”
He held your cheek in his delicate fingers, and you were putty in his hands, wishing that his eyes would soften, even by a fraction. That his hand would cup around his cheek like he meant it.
Instead, he pulled away, and you felt cold, cold, cold, drowning in your own emptiness.
You scoffed, trying to regain some power in the situation. “I’m no angel.”
“Hm,” Dazai hummed, dropping his head in his hands, resuming a spot behind the desk, the deep red chair much too similar to the one in his office, the one that Mori had inherited from the previous boss. “Perhaps not to others.”
And you grew hot, feeling that, maybe, Dazai was giving you a compliment.
It was at times like these that you saw the semblance of your previous relationship. When you could tease him without feeling the weight of his superior rank looming over you. When you could kiss him without tasting venom. When you didn’t have to wonder if it would be appropriate to touch him, or if you should keep your distance.
You wanted to quit him. Really, you did.
He was a horrible, loathsome person.
You’d never be able to stop loving him.
“I could never be any sort of heavenly creature, Dazai. My spot in hell was sealed the moment I sided with the Devil.”
Dazai laughed, the sound raw and dry, so humorless. “I hope you don’t mean me. Flattery will get you nowhere,” he tsked, the tip of his tongue scratching against the back of his white teeth.  
You certainly hadn’t meant that as a compliment.
“Should I say goodbye before I leave?” you asked wryly, doubting that he’d even want to see you again. His image burned against the back of your eyelids, and you drank him in, hoping that when you died, his face would be the last thing you saw.
Dazai didn’t grace you with a simple yes or no. Instead, he glanced up briefly, his one eye exposed, mere centimeters of skin uncovered. “Goodbye.”
You nodded; lips pressed tightly together as you accepted the dismissal. With a sigh, you were out of the room, wondering why you hadn’t just showered before you left. Most of your clothes were in Dazai’s closet anyway.
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You didn’t see him again before you left.
The assignment Dazai had given you was a few cities over, a task of infiltrating an enemy organization who’d gotten a little too close to the Mafia’s boundaries. It was simple enough, especially with Chuuya at your side, though the whole ordeal had you away from home for a weekend, and far too much time with your own thoughts.
Dazai had set the two of you up in a suite, one with two separate bedrooms and a shared living space. It was much more luxurious than you even needed, with a view overlooking the entire city and an extensive bar in the kitchen. The furniture was a deep, black leather, every accent dark in color.
It was conspicuous, but you’d grown too used to extravagance after being with Dazai. You allowed yourself to indulge in it.
A silly notion, really; the place you slept every night was much more lavish.
You scrubbed the blood off your face, your hands, and stared at yourself in the mirror without recognizing the person before you. The water at the bottom of the shower was a macabre shade, staining the tiles as it swirled down the drain.
Shivering, you tried to reconcile all of the things you’d done, shelve them away before you could wonder if all of it was really worth it. If Dazai was really worth it.
When you finally emerged from the bathroom, your skin rubbed raw, Chuuya was sitting at the bar, a freshly cracked bottle of wine before him. His back was tense, muscles strained as he regarded you with weary eyes, the darker shade under them obvious and alarming.
“Took you long enough,” Chuuya snorted, pouring himself a glass. The bottle was aged and dark, the label faded. He must have brought it along with him; it certainly hadn’t come from the hotel. “I was getting bored.”
You made a face, taking the seat beside him. “Well, there was a lot of blood.” You reached over to snatch the bottle, pressing it to your lips before he could protest.
“Help yourself, then,” His expression was sour, but his acerbic tone held a hint of amusement. “Do you know how expensive that is?”
“No.” You shrugged, taking a sip. Money had stopped meaning anything to you a long time ago. “Should I care?” The liquid warmed your throat on the way down.
“Probably not. You’ve surely got enough cash behind you to buy me another one.”
“Right.” You snorted and wondered how much of that stuff you’d have to drink before you’d stop feeling a thing. Thoughts of the crumbling bond that you and Dazai shared wouldn’t leave you alone. “And you don’t?”
Chuuya laughed, twirling the glass in his gloved hand. There was a hardened edge to him that you didn’t like. Opposed to Dazai, Chuuya had always been much more open with you, more willing to share his thoughts. “Well, we can’t all be Dazai’s favorite. You’ve got the keys to the kingdom, my dear. Whatever belongs to the Mafia belongs to you too.”
“Favorite?” You spat out the word, darkening at the mention of Dazai, the man who never seemed to leave your brain. It was always Dazai, Dazai, Dazai. The youngest executive there had ever been, the one who’d become the head of the Port Mafia just a few years later.
You hated him. Wished you could burn the memory of that haunted man entirely.
“Hm?” Chuuya leaned forward like he hadn’t heard you.
A bitter flavor blossomed on your tongue when you thought of saying his name out loud. “I don’t want to talk about Dazai right now.”
You brought the bottle to your lips again; it was starting to feel lighter.
“Why?” Chuuya’s eyes dimmed as he stared at you, looking for something hidden in your irises. A secret that wouldn’t be there. You’d always been too easy to read. “Did something happen?”
“I said I don’t want to talk about Dazai, and you immediately think something’s wrong?”
He blinked. Hesitated. “Well, I spent my teenage years listening to you talk about him like a lovesick fool. The subsequent years watching him stare at you in the same way.” He took the bottle away from you, tipping his head back. “Something must be wrong.”
You felt a flush at your neck, the skin itching with sweat. It was cruel of Chuuya to allude to any emotions from Dazai, when you knew they weren’t there. “That’s not true.”
Chuuya sighed. “Isn’t it?”
Although his temper had always been much worse than yours, you felt the same sort of anger claw at your back. The urge to scream at him became almost insuppressible. “Dazai doesn’t care about me like that.” You flopped down on the bar, alcohol fuzzing the edges of your senses. It felt nice, warm.
Maybe being away from the Port Mafia was better for you than you thought.
“Don’t be stupid.” Chuuya’s eyes had narrowed when your head fell forward, his fist clenching around the bottle.
“Stupid?” You immediately sat up, blood rushing straight to your head. Who was Chuuya to come and tell you everything he thought he knew? It was laughable, really. “He doesn’t care, and I think I’d know. Fuck you, Chuuya.”
You slammed your fist down on the table, hurt. You didn’t understand why Chuuya would side with Dazai when he knew how much the situation troubled you. How often had you bared your soul to him, told him how Dazai’s aloofness had hurt you over and over again?
His eyes softened, an apology immediately leaving his lips. “I’m sorry—”
“Are you?” The words were vehement. Chuuya was shamelessly against your relationship with Dazai, always coming up with one reason or another to get you out of it. Now, it seemed, he was trying to defend it. “Dazai cares or he doesn’t. You can’t keep changing your mind based on the situation.”
“Dazai does care.” Chuuya said the words like they pained him to leave his mouth, each one dragging a dagger against his chin. “You think he’d keep you around if he didn’t?”
You did. You knew that you had use outside of Dazai’s feelings, just like Chuuya, just like Akutagawa. Just like every menial grunt who had a shred of value for the Mafia.
“He cares that I have value to him.” A sigh left your lips, and you sunk your chin onto your palm, feeling like nothing more than the dramatic woman in a Shakesperian tragedy. Really, you couldn’t remember when you’d become so pathetic. “What will become of me when I can’t sink a bullet into the skull of his enemies anymore?”
Chuuya frowned, the wrinkles deepening on his forehead. “No one can predict what Dazai will do.” He let you steal his half-full glass of wine, keeping the bottle safely tucked away from you. “Would it make much difference to you if we could?”
“I suppose not.” You’d grown tired, the subtle buzz of alcohol coming in quick on your empty stomach. “Nothing matters much anymore. I’ll never leave the Port Mafia.” Saying the words out loud made it more real than you’d intended, even though it was a fact that had sunk deep into your bones the day you’d met the dark-haired, suicidal bastard. “Why do I have to love him, Chuuya? Why can’t I love a good man?”
You thought, why can’t I love you instead, and left it unsaid. The words might have been too cruel. You knew the pain of unrequited emotions.
“Because you’re in the Port Mafia. Good men would know to stay away.” Chuuya drummed his fingers against the countertop before reaching out, contemplative. Though you remained unmoving in your seat, his hand still retracted before he touched you, as if burned. There was caution in his movements, every action calculated—Chuuya was usually the opposite, as intelligent as he was. “Besides. You’ve never tried to let Dazai go. You don’t want to.”
“I want to,” you said defensively, though even to your own ears, the statement was weak. Dazai was an addiction, and you’d go back to him time and time again. Even when, sometimes, you weren’t so sure there was anything good about him. “I just don’t know how. What would I do out there in the world without Dazai?” You laughed, amused. A normal life didn’t seem possible—you’d have no idea where to start.
Chuuya’s face pinched in disgust. “Take over the Port Mafia. Kill him and run it yourself.” He huffed, running a hand over his eyes, exhausted. “There’s a solution. If you really want to get rid of him.”
You blinked back at him. A moment passed; you’d forgotten he was looking for a response.
“I suspected as much.” His shoulders slumped, defeated, as you drew back in shame. “How long will you talk yourself into this endless cycle of torment? Dazai isn’t the same man that you fell in love with, and he never will be again.” He met your eyes, cold and guarded. “There’s nothing to be done about that. If you want Dazai so badly, put up with every single part of him. I’m tired of listening to the same grievances, time and time again.” 
Chuuya made to stand, but you stopped him, grabbing his wrist lightly. He glared at you from over his shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” you said, trying to convey your apology sincerely. “You’re completely right. I’ve never tried to let Dazai go, and maybe I can.”
You didn’t give Chuuya time to formulate a response. Before he could understand what was happening, you leaned forward, catching him off guard, and planted your lips on his.
For one singular moment, Chuuya had kissed you back, tasting your mouth in its entirety, before he shoved you away, scrubbing his skin like he’d been burned.
“Don’t do that.” He had a hand in your face, scolding you like a child. “Don’t ever fucking do that again.”
You stared at him; his dark eyes were full of an emotion you had never seen before. “Why not? You said I should try to let him go.”
“Not by kissing me, fucking hell.” Chuuya hissed, his voice just above a whisper like someone else was listening in. Something vile had been unleashed in him as he gesticulated around wildly. “You’re Dazai’s.” He scoffed. “Do you think any smart man would do anything with you, knowing you sleep in that monster’s bed every night?”
You sniffed, sticking your jaw out. Maybe, you’d been wrong all this time. Chuuya was like everyone else, wasn’t he? Holding you at a distance because you cared for the wrong person.
“I’m not leaving the Mafia. I’m not leaving Dazai.” You reached across the table, grabbing one of his cold hands. “I just want to be someone else for once. To know what it’s like for someone to care about me so completely.”
“It’s not going to be with me.” Chuuya yanked his hand away, laughing mirthlessly. “I never thought you’d try to manipulate me like this. “You’ve been spending too much time with him.”
Your eyes flashed, infuriated. Chuuya looked at you with some kind of betrayal, like he wasn’t the exact same way, like he wasn’t the same kind of vile person that you were. “I know you’re in love with me, Chuuya. I know you’ve looked at me since we were sixteen years old, wished so badly I would look at you the same way.”
His jaw clenched, the anger giving way to something else. “Don’t start.”
“You’ve wanted me all this time, haven’t you?” It was a genuine question; one you’d always been too scared to voice. Chuuya was the only person you considered to be a friend and knowing that he felt that way about you would ruin your friendship completely.
Though you had one sip too much of alcohol running through your veins, and you’d spent two days wondering how you could stop feeling a single thing for Dazai. Rationality had left you entirely.
Chuuya was silent, still watching you with hesitance.
“You’re the only person in the Mafia who really cares about me, aren’t you?” you said, softer, wondering if you could lure him in. Spring him into a trap you’d both be certain to regret in the morning. “You’re the one who talks to me about everything, who watches out for my well-being. Who’s never looked at me like I was anything but the prettiest girl in the world.”
And though Chuuya still didn’t trust your actions, his eyes had softened just a hair, his body releasing the tension. “You are.”
You smiled, but his compliment made you feel nothing but guilt. “Then why won’t you let me kiss you, Chuuya?”
“Because.” He scraped a hand over his face, breathing heavily like it was taking every ounce of his willpower to resist you “Dazai will kill me, you understand? He’ll kill you.”
“Wouldn’t you at least like to know?” You invaded his personal space. Each word you spoke cracked him a little bit more. “I know you’ve imagined me spread out before you, entirely exposed to you. How I’d look with my hips arching off the bed, crying out your name—”
“Stop it.”
“I’m right, aren’t I?” You felt like you were losing your mind. Something had cracked in you, and you couldn’t come back from it. Things would never go back to the way they were after those careless words had been tossed into the world. “You’ve always wanted me, so why, when I’m giving myself to you completely, won’t you accept?”
Chuuya swallowed. His voice had grown thick with desire. He raked his eyes over you cautiously. “You’re asking a lot from me, baby.” He held your cheek, grazing the bone in the gentle way that Dazai had forgotten. “Believe me, I want to. But you’ve had a lot to drink.”
“I haven’t,” you said, grabbing his wrist before he could pull away. The touch of another person felt so nice against your icy skin. “I’m okay. I’m not drunk.” You weren’t—the alcohol had just made you brave enough to ask. “Please, Chuuya.”
He swallowed thickly. “He’ll kill me.”
“And he’ll kill me. Just as you said.” You met his eyes completely, wondering why you couldn’t care for this man in the same way, why his lips weren’t as alluring as Dazai’s, why his voice didn’t set a blaze deep in your stomach. “Do you really care whether Dazai thinks of me as his?”
His cheeks were flushed, eyebrows pinched, and you spotted the moment he began to draw back. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I just can’t.”
Then, you panicked, eyes becoming glassy as he released you, turning to retreat back to his bedroom, and you scrambled for another way, a way to bring him back to you.
“Chuuya, please,” you said, desperation in every syllable, and when he turned around, you knew you had him wrapped around your finger. “I just want to know what it’s like with a person who loves me. Can’t you give me that?”
That was it. That was all you had to say. When Chuuya bowed his head, you knew he’d given in.
“Why do you think I can give you what he can’t?” Chuuya’s voice was nothing more than a whisper. “I’m not that kind of man. I’m not the kind of man you’re looking for.”
“No,” you said. “You’re not that kind of man. You’re Chuuya. The only person that’s always been there for me.”
He hesitated, momentarily, before sweeping you into his arms, his touch the softest you’d ever felt. “Are you certain that you want this?”
“Yes.”
“Then it doesn’t matter if Dazai kills me.” Chuuya spoke into your mouth, carving the words into your aching heart. “You were always going to be the death of me, anyway.”
His lips were upon you again, kissing you with the hunger of a starved man, and you gave him back as much as you could, which was the despair of a lonely woman. His touch was one of loving hands as guided you back into the bedroom tenderly.
When your back hit the bed, he asked if you were okay, asked if everything was comfortable. The concern in his eyes had rarely been seen in Dazai’s own—you couldn’t remember the last time he’d taken care of you first.
“I’m fine, Chuuya,” you promised again and again, and you smiled, caressing the soft skin of his jaw.
His lips pulled back in return, and then your shirt was thrown over your head, carelessly tossed towards the corner of the room. Though, no matter how many articles of clothing you lost, the necklace that Dazai had given you still rested against your collarbone.
You cupped your palm around it, trying to avert Chuuya’s gaze as he stared down at the precious metal, something conflicting in his cool irises.
“It’s okay,” you said, doing your best to distract him. You wouldn’t take the necklace off. It didn’t matter how much Dazai had hurt you; you needed the reminder of the absolute infidelity you were committing. “Keep going.”
Feeling more anxious than you had before, you kissed Chuuya, trying to dispel the bile that gathered in the back of your throat.
“You’re so beautiful,” Chuuya said, kissing every inch of your face, his hands hovering over your chest. “I could look at you forever, and it wouldn’t be long enough.”
Chuuya’s sentiments warmed you, but words weren’t enough. You pulled his vest off, then the buttoned-shirt and every other intricate article of clothing he wore.
It felt wrong. His height was wrong. His skin felt too warm under your palm.
“When did you fall in love with me?” you asked, breathing heavily. Desire pooled in your abdomen against your will, your own heart betraying you. Still, it was nothing more than the most basic reaction of human nature, raw and primal, unaffected by the organ that was jailed within your ribcage.
Chuuya was surprised by the question, and he paused, his face just inches above your stomach. “I think I realized when I was seventeen.” He huffed out a laugh, inhaling your perfume. “It was the first time I saw Dazai kiss you. I thought I was going to be sick.” He continued kissing down your body, sliding your pants past your hips. “I’d always wanted you. I guess I just didn’t realize until then.”
You exhaled, feeling tears spring to the corners of your eyes, ones you suppressed.
Dazai had given you flowers that day. You remembered how they smelled, the rainy spring breeze. The way the sun reflected in his brown irises, melting them into candied honey that brightened his entire complexion.
“Then take me, Chuuya. If you’ve wanted me for so long, then fuck me like you mean it.”
His dark eyes flashed, but his gentle caresses never turned rough, never sped through a single moment you had together. You smiled, your expression peaceful and open when he finally slid your panties off, your cunt throbbing as his finger brushed against your swollen clit.
Chuuya took his time with you, singing praises that you hadn’t heard in a long time, and you came once around his slender fingers, the ones that were much less skilled at knowing every place you enjoyed being touched.
When he finally sunk inside you, you still felt empty, unfulfilled. You tried to lose yourself in his mouth, in the taste of wine and Chuuya, and dug your fingers into his back.
“Feel so good around me, baby.” Chuuya whispered into your skin, imprinting the words into your neck. He was careful not to leave any marks, though he wanted to, wanted to claim you as his own. “Taking me so well.”
You tugged on his hair as he kissed down your collarbone, between your breasts, his breath hot and heavy. Though you cried out, you kept your voice quiet, still fearful that someone might hear, might know exactly what kind of betrayal you’d committed.
Chuuya thrust into you slowly, so much gentler than Dazai, hitting the spot deep inside of you that had you arching off the bed. “Fuck,” he said, choking on his own breath. “You have no idea how you make me feel.” He was full of desperation, his hands digging into your hips.
“Chuuya,” you said, holding his head between your palms.
He gave you the brightest smile in return, sad and meaningful. “I know. I can feel you squeezing me tighter. Let go for me, doll.”
His hair was just as soft, but it wasn’t dark enough, wasn’t short enough. His kiss didn’t feel the same, and you felt tears blurring your vision as you realized you’d never wanted him, you only wanted Dazai, and this was all wrong.
Still, you came around him, as he was buried deep inside you, but his name never left your lips, not even as a breathy whisper, because the one that was sitting there was Osamu.
And when he pulled out of you, you stroked him with practiced laziness, moving your hands in the way you knew Dazai liked, even though Chuuya felt so much different in your palm.
Chuuya kissed you as warmth flooded into your hand, and then he was breathing heavily, collapsing onto the bed next to you. He kissed you over and over, holding you tight, and you smiled, satisfied, because at the least, you knew this was what love felt like.
You’d never get it from the man you wanted, so you’d take it from Chuuya, even if it made you feel rotten inside.
The room smelled like sex and betrayal, and Chuuya took care of you, carried you out of the bed for a bath, and gently rinsed away the sweat and grime.
You were silent for most of the time, only reassuring him when he asked if you were alright.
For the first time, maybe you were. You imagined a future where you could learn to love Chuuya, a future where you were finally able to rid yourself of Dazai and start over again.
But it was nothing more than a delusion, a dream that would never happen. Dazai was a part of your soul. You knew that and Chuuya knew that, even as he closed his eyes next to you, the woman that would never give her love to anyone else. Your heart beat and bled for Dazai Osamu, every inch of your being meant for him. It would kill you to let him go, and if he died, you’d die right alongside him.
You turned away from Chuuya, burying your face in your hands, completely unaware that he’d left the bed to sleep in the other room.
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You didn’t talk to Chuuya the next morning, not when you took a private car back to Yokohama, not when you stepped foot back onto the Mafia headquarters. Things between you had soured, just as you’d suspected, and you didn’t know how to fix it, didn’t think there was any way to go back from what had happened.
Higuchi was waiting for the two of you when you walked in the door, her blazer perfectly pressed, and her shirt tucked. She greeted you with a half-smile—gesturing towards the stairs. “The boss wants to see all of us for a meeting. He said you two would be arriving at this time.”
You nodded, and Chuuya scoffed, shaking his head. “I’ll never understand his superhuman ability to know what’s happening all of the time.”
Swallowing, you followed Higuchi, trying not to hear the foreboding nature of Chuuya’s statement.
Most high-ranking Mafia members were in attendance, with Dazai at the head of the table, the dark wooden chair beside him eerily empty and welcoming. You took a seat, and Dazai’s eyes ran over you, smoothly and hastily, before a small smile appeared on his features. “No injuries?” he said, and though his tone was professional, you could hear the slightest bit of concern.
“None,” you said, and something in your voice cracked, ever so slightly.
You were such a fool. You’d never be able to hide something like this from Dazai.
He eyed you suspiciously, before sliding his glance over to Chuuya, who was as cool as usual. His face was shadowed by his hat, hiding any evidence of a sleepless night.
“Chuuya,” Dazai said, tucking his palm into his hand. “Debrief.”
Your partner gave Dazai every last detail, summarizing as best he could, and sliding in the occasional sarcastic remark as he leaned back casually in the chair. Dazai listened with boredom in his expression, drumming his fingers against the table until Chuuya’s monologue was complete.
He turned to Akutagawa, who bowed his head an immediately launched into his own assignment.
You blinked—you hadn’t realized that Akutagawa’s squad had been sent elsewhere. It made no sense for Dazai to send you with Chuuya when your own division had a separate mission.
The meeting wrapped up quickly, and the members scattered, going their own separate ways for the afternoon. Chuuya refused to meet your eye as he got up from the table, one of the last to leave the room.
As you stood, Dazai closed a hand around your wrist, his thumb brushing your pulse.
“Was the hotel alright?” he asked, his head titled curiously. “You look tired.”
You took a sharp breath.
Fuck.
“It was fine, Osamu,” you said, and when his name slipped easily from your tongue, something in him changed. He loosened the hand on your wrist before releasing it entirely, the bandaged palm falling into his lap. “Thank you.”
Dazai nodded, turning away from you, and you’d forgotten that there were still other people in the room. Akutagawa, who lingered with morbid curiosity, and his sister, who had always sort of pitied you for your tumultuous relationship, bore witness to the brief interaction.
Behind them, Chuuya stood tense, his back straight as he crossed the threshold, sparing you only a glimpse before exiting into the darkened hallway.  
“Alright,” Dazai said in a hushed voice, his face schooled back into the usual, guarded expression. “I’ll see you later.”
It wasn’t much of a response, and he didn’t elaborate, keeping his steely eyes ahead as some low-ranking members trudged in for a meeting with their boss. He’d be busy all afternoon, it seemed.
You swallowed, and left, knowing that it was fruitless to try and keep a secret from him.
Chuuya waited for you outside, his arms crossed as he regarded you with a contempt that hadn’t been there before, such a contrast to the loving man you had seen last night. “This changes everything, you know?”
“I know,” you said, your voice thick with unshed tears. “I’m sorry, Chuuya.”
“Don’t be sorry,” he scoffed. “I was the fool. I made my choice.” Chuuya sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I meant what I said, though. Yesterday. It was all true, and if you need anything, I’ll be here.”
You felt a chasm open in your chest, and you wished the floor would’ve swallowed you whole. You were losing everyone, it seemed, and maybe, Dazai really did have a point with his talk about suicide.
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When you stepped into the bedroom, Dazai was sitting on the edge of the bed, the setting sun casting a shadow of his own reflection. He was twirling a pistol around his pointed finger, staring at the wall with blank eyes.
You shut the door quietly, your hands shaking against the golden knob.
Though you hadn’t made a sound when you walked through the door, Dazai’s gaze was on you immediately, sensing your entrance.
You’d never been able to slip past him.
“You’re back early.” Those were the first words that came to your mind, your voice breaking the uncomfortable silence. He was regarding you with disdain, his jaw set coolly. His hair turned bronze in the evening rays, loose strands scraping against the bandages.
“I am.” His jaw clenched, examining you with a singular, dark eye. You felt exposed under his gaze, laid bare for him to see no matter how much you shrouded yourself with. “You sound like you’re unhappy to see me.”
Dazai ran his finger along the trigger like he’d never held such a weapon before, the gun becoming an object of morbid fascination. 
You exhaled. There was so much space between you, a distance you weren’t sure you’d ever cross again. Though you thought you knew Dazai better than anyone, in that moment, he was unreadable—a chapter of pages that had been torn out.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” you said, standing tall. Despite your nerves, you were fixated on Dazai, always drawn to him like a moth to a flame, desperate to uncover the very thing that could kill you. “I miss you every time we’re apart. You’re no stranger to my feelings.”
You could offer him that, at the very least. An undeniable truth before everything between you shattered.
Dazai stood, his dark coat billowing out behind him as he finally came to face you, suddenly seeming much taller than you remembered. And with one look, you knew that he knew. He’d always been too smart for his own good.
“I’m not certain of that any longer,” he laughed, though it was a bitter sound that clawed its way up his throat. “Why don’t you tell me the truth, instead.” Dazai stood before you with a smile that was so sweet it was almost sinister. “Aren’t you going to tell me what you did?”
You weren’t sure which one of you would blink first, caught in some deadly staring contest. Most people would’ve surrendered to him by now.
 “Why?” you jutted your chin out, refusing to give in to him in any way. If you were going to die, and you were, you would make sure Dazai knew everything you’d never told him. “You already know.”
“No.” He poked the gun into your cheek, right beneath the sharp bone. He’d clicked the safety off moments before. “I want to hear you say it. You betrayed me.”
When you refused to say a word, Dazai hissed and cocked the gun. He pressed it to your temple, the metal cold against your delicate skin.
“Say it.”
You sniffed. He wasn’t giving in, and instead, stood there silently, unmoving until you finally caved. There was something about the color of his eyes. No matter how much they hardened, you still remembered the young man he used to be. The one who wasn’t quite so cold, who picked you flowers, even with blood dripping down his arm.
“Fine.” You narrowed your eyes. “I fucked Chuuya.”
Dazai blinked. Then, he started laughing. Crazily, maniacally. You saw too much of your old boss in him that it made you sick.
“Shameless.” Dazai took a step back and dropped the gun to his side.
“What?” you sneered, pressing yourself up against him, refusing to be intimidated by the man that had been yours for years. “Should I be ashamed?”
Dazai’s eyes flashed, his jaw clenching. “Yes,” he said, fists curling at his sides. “After everything I’ve done for you.” Dazai grew quieter, flicking a strand of hair out of your face. “Do you feel no remorse?”
“You can’t be serious. What have you done for me, Dazai?” You grew still, grabbing his wrist before he could touch you again. “You’re not upset I was with another man; you’re just upset that it was Chuuya.”
You poked him in the chest, a hot stream of air exhaling through your nose.
“I gave you everything, didn’t I?” The two of you spoke at each other, avoiding the answers, never acknowledging what the other had to say. Around and around you went, an endless circle until one of you finally conceded. “I’ve given you the world, and you still wanted more.” Dazai finally broke free of your loose grasp, stroking your cheek. “What can Chuuya give you that I can’t? I ask for nothing but honesty.”
There was no jealousy in the tone, no sorrow; it was the most genuine question he’d asked you in months. The inquiry of a man who’d lost sight of himself in the past few years, and who’d somehow, over time, forgotten what it meant to care for another.
“You gave me nothing,” you said, but somewhere along the way, your cheeks had grown wet. You’d been struck by the sudden affection in his voice, the softness harsher than a slap to the face.
He was a horrible man, the worst kind of man. Yet, you couldn’t imagine a life without him, a world where you existed alone.
The truth rested at the edge of your tongue. It wouldn’t solve much, your affection for him never had solved much, but at least he would understand.
“This was never about wanting more. I never wanted Chuuya. You’re a fool if you think that.”
Dazai was silent. You pressed on.
“I wanted you. I’ve only ever wanted you. I’ve devoted my entire life to you. I do everything you ask.” You were breathing heavily, big gulping breaths that contained minimal oxygen. “I asked for nothing in return. Nothing but for you to care about me, and you never did.”
“Is that the case?” Dazai laughed humorlessly.
You ignored him, your confession leaving on one heavy breath, a string of words incomprehensible to your ears. “But Chuuya loves me. He always has, and he made certain I knew that.” You paused, averting your eyes. The entire city could be seen from the window over his shoulder. “He told me all of that, and you know what I thought the whole time?”
Dazai scowled.
“I wished that he was you instead. I wanted it to be you so badly, I wanted it to be you saying those things to me, kissing me like I was the most important thing in the world.” You took his wrist again, pressing the gun back to your temple. The cool metal was almost soothing against your skin. “Please, Dazai. Give me this one last thing. I’m begging you to kill me. I can’t take this any longer.”
His finger rested on the trigger.
“I want it to be you. I’ve never wanted to die at anyone’s hands but your own.” His hand felt just as it always had in your palm, his fingers much longer, but his skin so soft. It was almost comforting, how familiar he was, and you longed to be a part of him, to bury yourself deep within him and wear his skin as your own.
Dazai’s expression twitched, and you smiled at him, the taste of salty tears spilling into your mouth.
As you closed your eyes, you prepared for the noise, hoping your blood splattered on Dazai’s coat and stained it, the proof of your existence inerasable. You hoped that Dazai would grow to regret it, would realize that your love for him was close to unconditional.
But the violence never came. The cool metal fell away from your skin, and when you opened your eyes again, Dazai’s shoulders had slumped, the very image of defeat.
“Do you honestly think I can bring myself to kill you?”
“What’s the matter?” you asked, blinking your eyes open. You reached for the gun again, but he drew back, as if stung. “Afraid to lose your best assassin?”
“No.” Dazai’s eyes were hard, his frown set deep into his face. “I’m afraid to lose the woman I love. The most important person in the world to me.”
You stared. Blinked. Then, the worst kind of emotion washed over you.
You swallowed over and over, trying to get the bile out of your throat. You’d wanted to be done, wanted to escape. And yet—
“Don’t say that.” you shook your head, backing away as Dazai inched closer, too close and you felt yourself getting sucked back in, remembering that you’d loved him for years, and you’d never love anyone else. “Fuck you, Dazai. Stop toying with me, and just kill me."
“I love you. I thought you knew that my darling angel.”
You were crying harder, shaking your head. “I don’t believe you. You don’t care about me.”
“No?” Dazai had grabbed your wrist again, but it was so soft. “I thought you were smarter than that. Did you think you were partnered with Akutagawa at random, and not for the sole reason that I knew he’d do everything in his power to protect you? Did you think I moved your seat next to me at meetings because you were nothing more than my stupid whore? Bought you everything you ever wanted because I couldn’t stand you?”
“Yes,” you said, sniffing, feeling yourself melt where he touched you, itching to reach up and pull the bandages off his face, see the beautiful features beneath them that he hid from the world. “You don’t care about me."
“I do care,” he said, fingers grazing your chin. “I’ve killed for you. I took over the Port Mafia so I could give you everything you wanted. Why wasn’t that enough?”
“Because I never wanted that. I never wanted any of this. I wanted you, Dazai Osamu. That was all.”
Dazai frowned, and then he bowed his head, kissed your neck, then around your earlobe, and it was the softest you’d ever felt in your entire life, a gentleness you hadn’t known he was capable of. When his hands snaked around your stomach, pulling you back against him, you were lost in his adoration.
“You never said anything,” he said, kissing your shoulder, breaking the tension in the muscles. You were his, in every lifetime, you’d be his. “I thought you were… happy?”
“How could you think that? I’m not happy, Dazai. I’ve never been less happy.”
“Not even when I tell you that I love you?” he kissed your knuckles.
“Do you love me enough to be a better man? Do you love me enough to let me sleep in your bed and see your whole heart instead of the fragmented pieces that you sliced up just to hide?”
“Yes.” The word was resounding, resolute. “I love you enough to forgive you.”
You held him at a distance, lips falling apart easily. “But I don’t want to forgive you.”
“You will.” Dazai smiled, that irritatingly knowing smile of his that you’d fallen for in the first place. “You will because I mean it this time.”
“You never apologized,” you looked away, trying to find the strength to move. You were enraptured, in every fiber of his being. “You never will. You never do.”
“I never knew anything was wrong,” he frowned, and it wasn’t the truth, but it wasn’t a lie, and you had him so close that you just wanted to forget anything had ever changed. “How was I to fix it if you never told me?”
His words were full of poison, but his voice was so soft you couldn’t help but fall back into him. Perhaps, you should’ve said something. Maybe your actions had never been enough.
“How long have I been at your side, spent hours listening to your every word, even when they didn’t make sense to me? You should’ve known, Dazai. I shouldn’t have to tell you something like that.” Your words were losing their bite, and his lips quirked up, knowing that you were slowly coming back to him, clearing you of the sins you had committed.
He was hesitant, thoughtful, before pressing a kiss to your forehead. And perhaps, that was the final straw in your resistance, his gentle kiss enough to set your soul on fire.
“I’m sorry, my love,” Dazai said, his lips ghosting over yours, handing over the apology like a gift. “Won’t you give me a chance to fix it now?” It felt like a bad idea. Dazai wasn’t deserving of any more chances; you’d already given him years of second chances, had always given him the benefit of the doubt.
“You expect me to believe you’ll let us off scot-free?” you said, your face deadly close to Dazai’s. “What about Chuuya? Will you kill him in my place.”
“You’ve got me in your hand, love. If you want me to punish Chuuya, just say the word. I’ll kill him if that’s what you want.”
It wasn’t. That was the farthest thing from what you wanted, but you worried that if you sounded too enthusiastic, he might just follow through with it.
Instead, you pulled him to you, grabbing the dark tie that he wore around his neck. He grinned into your lips, his saccharine smile seeming much too deadly to be all that sweet. “Do you honestly think I believe a word that you’re saying?”
“You want to,” Dazai said, curling his hand around your jaw, his fingers brushing your ear. “That’s what matters the most.” He kissed your lips, and you could taste the difference, all the love he poured into it this time. It wasn’t like kissing a statue. “It’s all true, anyway.”
You broke away, breathing. “I won’t do this anymore, Dazai.” You finally had his hand in your own, placing the gun back to your temple. “You’re not the man you once were, and you’ll never be him again.” The smile that graced your lips was sad, though it was knowing. Things were always going to end this way.
Dazai’s face wrinkled as he tried to decipher all the words you’d never spoken. “I’m not the same man, that’s true, but my affection for you has never died.” He cupped his other hand around your cheek, hesitantly keeping the gun to your temple, squinting with his head bent.
“You’re the leader of the Port Mafia, and such a ruthless man wouldn’t let a betrayal go unscathed.”
There was a wave of silence while the two of you stared at one another, sifting through the situation with hardness in your jaws, the tension palpable within the air. Dazai straightened, clarity in his irises as a smooth smile burned onto his lips.
“Is that what you want?” he said innocently. “You want to be punished for your insurrections?”
Your mouth grew dry, but you held your ground firmly, swallowing back all the uncertainty. Perhaps you didn’t want to die. Perhaps you did. You just hated the gaping hole inside of you that never seemed to leave. “I want you to kill me.”
“Kill you?” Dazai laughed, then the hilt of the gun was against your temple once more. He held your chin steady between his forefinger and thumb, regarding you with thinly veiled disgust. “You’ve never wanted that before. Not when I asked you to die alongside me, to follow me far into the afterlife.” He sighed, releasing your chin before cocking the gun. “This isn’t about death at all.”
“What—”
“You want me to claim you, is that it?” He clicked his tongue before leaning forward, sneering. “Perhaps it’s that other way around. You want everyone in the Mafia to know I belong to you, hm?’
You blinked, though you began to feel weak in the knees, the eyes that you knew so well suddenly intimidating. “I never said—” but even then, your voice wavered, unsteady and uncertain of the immediate heat that had swirled under your skin.
Dazai’s mouth curled, a gruesome smile there. “I know you better than anyone. I’ve always known exactly what you want. Even though I shouldn’t forgive you, I can’t help myself.”
You swallowed, and Dazai had taken a step forward, pushing you with him, the gun still swaying at your temple, even when the backs of your thighs hit the bed. You fell onto the mattress, and he was on top of you, his finger caressing the trigger as he collapsed.
Dazai had never scared you, not even when he was a child you’d barely known, the teenager shaped in Mori’s image. Though, now, the unreadable expression on his face was alarming you, and you wondered if all this time, you should’ve been fearful.
Still, even with your underlying hesitance, you felt a wave of desire crash over you at the sheer need in his eyes. It wasn’t something you were unfamiliar with, but there was something else there. Maybe it was the love you’d just never noticed.
“Osamu,” you said in a quiet voice, not afraid, but not confident either. Your finger brushed the point on his wrist—it was the same heartbeat you’d always recognized.
“What?” he said, taunting you menacingly as he towered above you. “You were so bold just a second ago? What happened, darling?”
Unable to do anything but blink back at him, Dazai brought his thumb to your lips, brushing it across the plump skin before dipping it into your mouth.
Unprepared, you nearly choked, eyes blown wide as you stared back at him. Though, there was a command within his eyes, and you obliged, sucking as you watched the saliva drip down to his palm. Dazai pulled it away from your mouth with an obscene pop, giving you a sweet smile from his position above you.
Despite your humiliation, you shifted your hips on the bed, bringing your thighs together to provide you with a fraction of relief. Dazai’s eyes flashed at the movement, his smirk widening with an amusement.
“You’re nothing more than a dumb slut, aren’t you?” Dazai’s hand ghosted of your stomach, settling on the inside of your thigh momentarily. You ached with need, swallowing your pride and any demands that you could make of him. “Had Chuuya all to yourself this weekend, and still expect me to fuck you senseless.”
Your brow furrowed, and you opened your mouth before shutting it, lips still covered in your own spit. “Osamu,” you began, attempting to diffuse the situation, to explain that what had transpired between you and Chuuya meant nothing, but he never gave you the opportunity. “It wasn’t—”
Dazai’s gaze hardened, the adoration disappearing the moment you dared to speak. His fingers deftly wrapped around your throat, thrusting you into the mattress with enough force to quiet you entirely. “Shut up. If I want to hear you speak, I’ll ask. Understand?”
You could do nothing but nod, hating yourself for the ache that had grown more and more intense in your core, desperate for some sort of contact. Dazai, distracted with his own task of tearing your top off, had failed to notice the breathing that had grown heavier, the flush of heat that spread on every inch of your body.
His slender fingers finally removed the confining pants, a task he did skillfully with one hand still wrapped around your throat. Then, his fingers were against your aching cunt, and you twitched, letting out a heavy sound from the singular movement. You could feel yourself pulsing against nothing, desperate for his fingers between your legs.
“Pathetic,” he said, his fingers lazily dipping through your folds over your underwear. “I’ve barely touched you. How can you be this fucking wet?”
“Please,” you said quietly, your own hand aching to take over, if only to provide yourself that relief that he refused to give you. Every time you shifted into his hand, he brought it away, taunting you with the release you so craved.
“Please?” Dazai was mocking, cruel, every bit of the person people expected him to be. The one he never had been with you, not until recently. “You’re nothing more than a greedy little whore. Must have been why you fucked Chuuya without a second thought, huh?”
You were silent, staring him down with a clenched jaw. Your brain was twisting, betraying you, turning into empty cells within your skull, and you weren’t sure how to handle the accumulation of emotions that you felt for the man before you, the one who’s love had always been purposeful and merciless.
“Well?” he said, tightening a hand to close off the air to your lungs, trapping you with his strength. “Answer me.”
“No,” you gasped, and when your words sounded choked, when you clawed at his wrist, he loosened his grip just a hair, the only indication that the man you loved was in there at all. Still, your hips acted of their own accord, shifting further into his hand. “I’m sorry, Osamu, I am.” You felt tears prick at the corner of your eyes as he finally slipped his fingers under your panties, rubbing your aching clit. “I wanted you; I needed you and you were never there, but Chuuya was, and—”
You were a stammering mess of desperation and regret, feeling unglued under Dazai’s hands, like the words you’d been meaning to say could finally come out. He was the only one who’d ever listened to you completely, who you’d felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable with. Yet, it had been so long since you’d let yourself be open with him, and now that the opportunity arose, you were too weak to deny it.
“I was always here,” Dazai said harshly, and you were almost certain that his anger was genuine, the tone breaking in his voice a result of true sadness. “You never came to me, and I thought that’s how you wanted it to be.” His fingers sunk into you, and you threw your head back into the pillow, moaning sinfully with the lewd sound of him sinking in and out of you, the wetness collecting with every movement.
“You never showed me you cared,” you cried out, certain that there were tears streaming down your cheeks, and you should’ve been humiliated. It was humiliating—the way you were clothed in nothing, crying as Dazai laughed at you, taking full control over your body. How he could’ve done anything to you in that moment, and you would’ve let him, because that was just how much you wanted him.
“And Chuuya was the solution?” He grabbed your cheeks with the hand that had once been around your throat, pinching them to make you look at him. “You going to pass yourself around the rest of the Mafia, sweetheart? Who’ll get a taste of you next? I’m not so certain even Akutagawa would pass up the opportunity.”
His words were senseless, meant to hurt you, and you still couldn’t stand the anguish that was in his eyes.
“No,” you said, and you leaned up, wanting so badly for his lips to be on yours, to feel some semblance of the connection that you’d always had with him. “I wouldn’t, Dazai, I’m yours.” You choked on the sounds of your own moans, your thighs shaking with every change in pressure. “I’m yours. Please, I need you.”
You were certain there were marks on your neck from his fingertips, and Dazai ghosted his mouth along the delicate skin there, biting at the soreness from before. You jerked, digging your nails into his back as you drew closer and closer to your climax.
“Don’t make demands.” Dazai leaned back, and you missed the closeness, the sharp scent of him lingering in your space. “Chuuya hasn’t been a part of this conversation yet. Should we get him up here? I hadn’t considered what to do with him, but this might suffice.”
Dazed and drunk on the feeling of his hands all over you, it took you a moment to process what he was saying. His hand was already swiping through his phone, picking the number of the man that you least wanted to see.
“No, Osamu, don’t—” you cried out, and yet, you made no move to stop him. Instead, you remained pliant on the bed as he sunk another finger into you, his thumb moving in agonizing circles against your clit.  He tucked the cellphone under his chin, smiling at you maliciously, controlling you with every blink of his lashes.
You had always had trouble resisting him. Now was no different.
Chuuya answered as you released another moan, and Dazai was grinning wickedly, as if some larger scheme had finally come together, the culmination of everything he was plotting. “Boss?”
“Chuuya,” Dazai said, and you flinched, locking gazes with his deep brown irises, the color so alluring and beautiful, a shade that had darkened with each misfortune you’d endured together. You hated him, you did, but there was a fine line between the two, and your love for him would die with you, would transcend whatever simple rules the afterlife placed on Earth. “How quickly can you make it up here?”
You could hear the hesitation on the other side; Chuuya didn’t say anything for a moment.
“A couple minutes, I think. I haven’t left the building.”
“I’ll give you a couple minutes then.” Dazai’s words were clipped as he hung up the phone, throwing it to the arm chair a few feet away from the bed.
His attention was back on you completely as you let out a shaky breath, trying to regain some semblance of composure before Chuuya came into the room. Though it was so hard when the pools in his irises were pulling you deeper, locking you into a heaven that you’d never been able to reach.
Dazai pulled away briefly, his soaking fingers leaving your body to alleviate his cock from the confines of his dark pants, hovering before you.
You swallowed, not able to remember the last time your desire for him ached this badly. Your eyes trained on the very part of him that you wanted inside of you, the tip flushed so beautifully. There was nothing on your mind but him, how you wanted every part of him, even if it meant enduring misery after misery, and Chuuya was right—if you were to love Dazai, you needed to love every part of him, even when it seemed impossible.
A whine escaped you and you were reaching out to him, knowing he’d never let you live down your humiliation, but the future was not a part of your logical thinking, not now. “Want you inside me.”
“Surely you can hold off for a few minutes,” Dazai said, though the way his toned chest pressed to your own, and how he kissed your face with a tenderness you’d forgotten made it nearly impossible for you to refrain. “So desperate for my cock.”
You wanted to touch yourself—you would’ve, had you not been so nervous of the fact that Chuuya could come in at any minute.
“Tell him to leave,” you said, dragging your fingers through his hair, finally kissing him like you’d been wanting to, and the sound was sinful, heavy with lust as you forced a taste into his mouth, wishing every part of him was a part of you too. “I don’t want him or anyone else, just you, I promise—” 
Dazai cut you off and ignored your pleas; he smiled against your lips, though it was anything but kind. “I think he’ll enjoy seeing you like this, won’t he? You’ve got such a filthy mouth on you when you’re fucked properly.” He kissed his way down your chest, resting his face just above your breasts. “I bet Chuuya didn’t see this side of you, did he?” Dazai licked a circle around your nipple, tugging it between his teeth. “I’ve done nothing but call you names and you’re dripping all over the sheets.”
You shook your head, feeling pained by how badly you wanted release.
“Of course not.” Dazai sat back up like he could sense Chuuya approaching from the other side of the door, his presence bold and detectible. “He’s forgotten what’s mine, after all.” He smiled at you once more, kissing you with a kind of love that only he could portray, the kind that was nowhere close to innocent. “Don’t cum until I tell you to. Be good for me, okay?”
Dazai had always known what to say to you, even when your relationship was falling apart, even when you hated him more than you loved him. His words could be so tender, the praise melted in with the unkind quips of his tongue. It was the gentlest tone he’d used since your clothes had come off, and you couldn’t help but melt under him, nodding like you’d give him anything he asked of you.
Of course you would.
Dazai traced your features delicately, grinning maniacally, ears attuned to the quiet that broke from the footsteps approaching. His cock was lined up against your dripping hole, and it took every ounce of restraint not to plant yourself on it, trying so hard to please him, the sinful man who held too much power over you.
“You’re so pretty like this, aren’t you? My beautiful little whore, always willing to take whatever I give you.”
“’Samu,” you babbled, blinking away the tears as you latched onto him, wishing you could spare yourself the humiliation, but too drunk on him to care. He shifted you forward, taking your thighs in his hands and placing them around his waist. “I can’t take it all at once—”
“You’ve done it before. Do it again.” He growled, squeezing your throat once more in one smooth motion, thrusting into you. And though you had doubted how prepared you were, he slid into you easily, already so loose and pliant from his fingers. “See? Never forgot the shape of me, sweetheart. Even after you’ve been with another man.”
You let out a choked moan as Chuuya walked into the room, lost in the ache and the burn and the pleasure that came with loving and fucking Dazai.
There was one singular pass of silence before Chuuya spoke, letting the door shut with a quiet click on the hinge. “Boss—” Chuuya was hesitant, though his eyes were immediately drawn to you, raking over your blissed-out form. “You said to—” His hand was still on the knob, though he was distracted, and tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, ashamed but so full of want that it ached.
“Come in, Chuuya,” Dazai said sharply, his words solid and commanding, and you couldn’t help it when you clenched around him, drawing him further into you with nails scraping down his back. “We should discuss something.”
“Well, can we talk about it when you’re not in the middle of fucking your girl?” Chuuya asked, swallowing down the desire he hid so poorly. His cheeks had flushed, words just on the edge of stumbling and slurring together. “Another time, maybe.”
“This is the perfect time, actually,” Dazai stopped moving, already breathing heavily above you as you stared, whined, needing so badly for him to stop teasing you. “Besides,” his eyes drifted knowingly to Chuuya’s obvious erection as he laughed darkly. “I don’t think you mind so much.”
Dazai pulled back painfully slowly before sinking into you with a quicker thrust, your back arching off the mattress to catch even more of him inside of you. A barely noticeable sweat had broken against his hairline, and you stared at him, mouth slightly agape in awe at the boss of the Port Mafia, the one you somehow had wrapped around your little finger.
Your breathing had grown unsteady as his cock got deeper and deeper inside of you, hitting where you’d never been quite able to get with your fingers, the thickness of him catching on every sensitive part inside of you. His hand was back between your legs, rubbing circles on your clit, and you weren’t sure you could last much longer, not as he carried on a conversation with Chuuya, who watched you with darkened eyes, barely holding himself back.
“Please, Osamu,” you were practically begging now, your cheeks glistening with wetness as you clawed at the muscles between his shoulder blades, surely leaving bruises all down his spine. “Please, please, let me cum.”
Dazai made a tsk noise in the back of his throat. “Not yet. I don’t think you deserve it quite yet, does she, Chuuya?”
Chuuya sniffed, shifting uncomfortably as his pants grew tighter. “Gonna punish her all day, boss? Such a pretty thing should get what she wants, shouldn’t she?”
Dazai dropped his chest closer to you, going deeper into you, and you cried out his name, though your eyes were still locked with Chuuya, as if he were going to be your savior. You remembered how gently he’d touched you, how careful he was, and you wondered why you’d ever wanted that at all.
“Chuuya thinks he can fuck you better than me, darling, but you know that’s not true, don’t you? He’d spoil you too much, but this is what you want, right? You want to be called a stupid fucking cockslut.” Dazai grinned against your lips, whispering in a breath that only you could hear. “Just so that at the end of it all, you’ll be my good girl.”
You whimpered, soaking him as you clenched harder. Your brain had gone numb from the feeling of him. Dazai was smiling viciously, but you could see the underlying tenderness.
“She looks so pretty right now, doesn’t she Chuuya? Not a single thought in that beautiful little head of hers.” He smiled at him knowingly, dark hair flopping into his eyes as the rest of the loose tendrils stuck to his forehead. “You’re lucky. You’ve gotten two chances to see her now. Twice as many as most men who fantasize about fucking a woman that sleeps in another man’s bed.”
Chuuya’s voice was raw, his words cracked. “You’re sick, Dazai,” he said, clenching his hands into fists. “Putting on a show like this just to punish me.”
“You and I both know you’re enjoying this.” Dazai traced your cheeks sweetly, kissing your lips deeply. You let out a strangled breath into his mouth, something on the precipice of a moan. “Can you do one thing for me, pretty girl? One more, then I’ll let you cum, how’s that?”
You nodded, desperately, as Dazai’s fingers finally dipped back down, rubbing agonizingly light circles.
“Tell Chuuya who’s making you feel this way,” Dazai said, pushing your face away from him to stare straight into Chuuya’s dark eyes. “Tell him who you love the most.”
“You,” you gasped out, clenching tighter around him. What an easy request to make—you’d never loved anyone else. “I’m in love with you.”
Dazai sniffed, though he was patient, slowing his thrusts almost to a stop. “Not good enough. I need you to be more specific.”
You cried out, locking your ankles onto his hips, trying to force him back into you. But Dazai didn’t budge, watching you until you provided the answer that he so desired. “I love you, Dazai.”
He frowned, shaking his head once more. “My name. Say it. It sounds so sweet from your lips.”
“Osamu,” you choked out. “I love you, Osamu. I love you. I love you.”
Dazai finally smiled above you, gently tracing your cheeks with his thumb as he slowed down the pace of his hips. “I love you too, darling.” His words were soft, whispered into your lips before he turned away, meeting eyes with Chuuya across the room. “See?”
Chuuya was glowering, stiff as a board, his face pink, and his legs shaky. “I got it, Boss.” He choked out, though his eyes were on you, unable to leave your body, even as he tried so hard to be polite. His aching cock strained against his pants, and he breathed sharply, swallowing over and over. “Do I need to be here any longer?”
Dazai laughed, and you thought he looked so pretty when he did that, his smile flashing wide and alluring, the corners of his eyes crinkling marginally. “Never said you had to stay. I figured you’d want to watch her come undone one last time.”
Chuuya, for as noble as he wanted himself to be, made no move to leave, glued to the spot on the floor beyond your bed. He was just across the room, but you couldn’t focus on anyone but Dazai, Dazai, Dazai, Dazai, the man who you’d killed and bled and committed horrible acts for.
You said his name again, scrambling to bring his attention back to you, hands on his face with a desperation you didn’t realize you’d possessed.
And Dazai, with the kindness of a man he wasn’t, placed his hands just above your stomach, leaving kisses across your chin as he thrust into you, sweetly, menacingly, one last time. “You did so good, my love. You can cum now. Make a mess all over my cock, beautiful.”
You jerked, squeezing around him as you felt the pressure in you finally release, the colors shifting and changing between your high as Dazai brought you in and out of an orgasm, his words reaching your muddled brain with soothing noises. Your body twitched as your muscles spasmed, sweat gathering in the space under your knees. There was little in your mind, save for the dark-haired man that had quickly become your whole world.
You smiled lazily, lacing your fingers with Dazai as you slowly began to come back to yourself. The world around you was empty. Chuuya had all but disappeared into a block of nothingness as you stared into the world itself. If there was no Dazai, there was no you, and it was as simple as that. He was everything you’d ever wanted—you’d be a fool to ever left him go.
As you regained your breathing, still sensitive all over, Dazai came inside you, spilling hot release into you, and you couldn’t bring yourself to care, too busy being satisfied with the feeling of him all over you.  His hands never left you—he was delicate, caring, pressing loving touches into your skin as you recovered from your high.
“I’m yours, Osamu,” you said, closing your eyes as you basked against the bed, wanting nothing more than to curl up against him, bury yourself in the warmth of another body. 
He smiled against your cheeks, lips flushed and bruised. “I know you are,” he said to you only, before pulling away. You shivered, but opened your eyes, and he’d already held the gun out to you, presenting it as an offering. “That’s why you’ll be the one to kill him.”
It took you all of ten seconds to remember who him was, and that the man who had borne witness to your most intimate moments with Dazai had not disappeared and was still gawking at you from the corner of the room.
“What?” you asked stupidly, your jaw falling open.
“You heard me.” Dazai pressed the pistol into your palm, curling your fingers around the handle. It was like ice against your hot body, and though it’d been years since your first time firing such a weapon, you suddenly felt like you were there again, uncertain, and afraid of the dangerous firearm. “Kill him.”
You stared at Chuuya, the honest man who, even despite his rough exterior, had been there for you since you were kids. You remembered how the three of you had been so close, for such a long time, until Dazai had gone and killed Mori and fucked it all up.
It felt wrong. The entire situation was wrong, and it never should’ve come to this.
“It’s Chuuya,” you said with tired eyes, something in your voice pleading and desperate.  
Dazai shrugged, holding you close against him as you struggled to sit up in the bed. Your muscles ached and you were still so sensitive, but reality was coming back to you. This was all a mess, and you wanted so badly to feel shame at everything you had done, but you were trying so hard just to–
“You’d think I’d let him live after what he did?”
“Osamu.” You weren’t sure you could bear it. You’d always sworn to kill whatever adversary Dazai and the Port Mafia faced, but Chuuya would always be an exception. You wanted him in your life as much as you wanted Dazai, someone you could trust without fail, who would listen to you complain even when it hurt him. “I won’t do it. He’s my friend. I thought he was yours too.”
Dark eyes full of disdain met your own, and he pinched your jaw once more, a mixture of devastating anger. “I can’t allow a traitor to live. I’ll kill him if you won’t. Then, I’ll kill you. Then myself.”
You shoved him away, suddenly wishing you weren’t so exposed, on display in the middle of the room. “Then fucking do it already, Dazai. What are you waiting for?” A tear broke free from your eye, and you wiped it furiously, not giving him a chance to mock you.
“Stop.” Chuuya finally spoke, his voice drawing your attention like a commandment, and you fell silent, refocusing on him as he bowed before you, dropping to his knees. Eyes locked onto your own without a single fear, cruel acceptance surrounding dark pupils. “It’s alright. I deserve to die. I’ve broken your trust, boss. I might as well be a traitor to the Mafia.” He swallowed, though he was unwavering. “I don’t want to live with this feeling any longer.”
“Don’t say that.” you spat, hating that such a strong man was giving himself over, exposing every weary weakness that he’d come to carry. “You don’t mean it.”
“I do.” He sighed, straightening his spine as he leaned forward towards your hand, much as you had done before, and you realized that this was such a sick, twisted change of fate. That the affection you’d always doubted was real after all, but Chuuya was still left playing the fool.
Perhaps, you were of the same vein, wanting desperately to die in the heavenly hand of the one you loved most. You could understand him for that. You could grant him one final wish.
“Do you regret any of it?” Dazai asked, as the wheels in your head spun, the decision dawning upon you, handed over from the ancient tragedies, rival even to the gloomy romances of Shakespeare.
Chuuya shifted towards the other man, looking into his cold, distant eyes. “No,” he said honestly, his jaw set. “I don’t regret it because now I know she’ll never love me. She’s all yours Dazai. Always has been. Always will be. Does that satisfy you?”
There wasn’t an ounce of fury in his expression when Dazai smiled back.
“You heard him,” Dazai said, lifting your limp arm by the elbow, pointing it like a skilled tutor. The gun was on Chuuya’s forehead, between his eyebrows, and your finger was on the trigger. Dazai’s whisper was like the Devil on your shoulder, and you were falling fast, your last shred of morality burnt from papery resolve. His hand supported your weakened muscles, guiding you along like you’d never before committed such an act. “You’re an assassin, aren’t you?”
You stiffened, narrowing your eyes before cocking the gun, mustering up the last bit of strength you had left. Chuuya couldn’t have looked more prepared for death, and you basked in Dazai’s prideful smile as he branded it into the crook of your neck.
“You’re certain?” you said to Chuuya, once more, hand no longer shaking despite your guilt.
The man, nothing more than a victim, nodded, and he had the audacity to smile, to look peaceful about his release from this life.
“I’m sorry, Chuuya. You shouldn’t have to bear the weight of my sin.” “It’s mine to carry, just as it is yours,” he scoffed, eyes hard with resolve. “Of all the things that would land me in Hell, I hardly believe this is the worst.”
You nodded, regrettably, and took a steely breath, erasing the heat the stung behind your eyes.
Then, you pulled the trigger. You waited for Chuuya’s brains to stain your floors, for the remnants of his skull to shatter all across the wall behind him. For the life to slowly drain from his stunningly bright eyes, leaving you with nothing but a corpse that would rot away wherever Dazai chose to toss his body.
Though, none of those things happened, and you stared at each other with fierce incredulity, knowing that you’d unwillingly become puppets in Dazai’s dramatic play, a show put on for no one’s entertainment but his own.
You’d been completely senseless, an idiot, really. The gun had felt lighter than usual, and you’d ignored it, even when you should’ve known it housed no bullets.
“Dazai?” you said in a low voice, dangerously, twisting to look at him from over your shoulder. An anger you’d never felt before had bubbled up inside of you, your heart thundering with a fierceness you hadn’t realized was a part of you. “There’s no bullets.”
“Obviously,” he scoffed, taking the gun away like it was but a toy, throwing it onto the armchair in the corner. “I’d never kill the strongest ability-user in the Mafia. You both should know me better by now.”
You scowled, the ugly expression marring your face, and Dazai frowned, leaning forward to appease you. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“You played me for a fool. Was all of this an act?” you cried, wondering if maybe Dazai had been lying this entire time. Maybe all those sweet words he said had never been true, and you had fallen for them anyway, like the mindless pawn you were.
“Which part?” Dazai asked, but you could tell that he knew what answer you sought, what lies you wanted to unveil.
“You know which part,” you said, moving away from him, not sure what emotion to grant control. You felt an intense amount of fury, misery, and pity for yourself, who’d never asked Dazai for anything but to be on your side, and he still couldn’t give you that. “Fuck you, Dazai.”
Your lip quivered, but if you’d begun to cry, shame would swallow you up and drown you in the dark abyss of misery. You would have no other choice but to throw yourself out the window, where everyone in the Port Mafia could bear witness to all the ways that Dazai had ruined you.
“Boss—”
Chuuya’s sentence was cut off sharply.
You’d tried to climb out of the bed, but Dazai had grabbed your wrist, stopping you before you could escape from him once and for all. Though he spoke to Chuuya, his eyes were hard on you, never leaving the set he stared into as you swallowed over and over, trying to think of anything but the sick feeling in your chest.
“You can leave now, Chuuya. Consider this your lucky day.” His voice was icy, threatening, and though Chuuya lingered a moment before climbing to his feet, he spared you nothing but a small glance in return.
You inhaled, then exhaled, trying to stop the simmering of blood within your veins, feeling the heavy weight of his hand on your wrist. As you sat there in silence, waiting for him to be the one to break it, you started to wonder how much of this was really Dazai’s fault, and how much you were the one to blame.
“It was a test.” Dazai tried to bring your attention back to him, letting only a fragment of emotion drain into his voice, though it was enough to slowly, slowly pique your fascination once more. “That was all.”
You wet your lips, though your tongue was just as papery. “So none of it was real.”
“What do you mean?” Dazai came to sit in front of you, his skin pale in the dark lighting, and you could see the cracks in his facade, and maybe this splinter in your failing relationship would slowly begin to heal itself. “Everything I said was very much real.”
His soft fingertips traveled up your arm, curling around your shoulder, across your collarbone, before settling in that delicate space between your jaw and your ear. There was a starry look in his eyes, the twin pair that had been exposed.
“Why would you do something like that to me?” you said, scrunching your face in remorse, wanting to slither away from him, even as he drew you closer, close enough to smell the expensive cologne he wore, the liquor that he favored when you were away. His hair had been freshly washed, and the smell of shampoo still lingered, even under the thin layer of sweat.
“Why would you do something like that to me?” Dazai countered, the hurt not veiled in the slightest this time, and it didn’t take a genius to know what he was talking about. Heat flooded to your cheeks, and you were looking away, wondering why he was pulling you close to his chest when he should be hating you with the passion of a thousand fiends. “How could I trust you after that?”
You parted your lips to speak, but your jaw was locked, and the inside of your mouth tasted like cotton.
“I’m not a good man,” Dazai said, kissing the shell of your ear, your temple, and you squeezed your eyes shut, clinging to his bicep. “You’ve always known this. Yet, for as often as you talk about me with disgust dripping from your words, I’ve never sought to bring you pain.” He breathed in deeply, and you buried your face into his chest, wondering how much longer it’d be before you wept. “You’ve caused me pain.”
You tried to cry out, to tell him that you never thought it would hurt him, but he’d seen the very same in you, hadn’t he? You’d never given him any indication that the coldness in his words was bothering you, that the blurred lines of your relationship were getting confusing and hurtful, and he had done the same.
“We’re not good for each other, Osamu,” you whispered quietly, your lip quivering. The weight of your voice shattered against your vocal cords.
He let out a breathy laugh, smiling against your forehead. “On the contrary, I think we’re the perfect fit.”
For what reason he believed that, you weren’t sure.
You clenched your jaw tight, but it didn’t stop the feeling of tears from overwhelming you, hot droplets that spilled heavy from your eyes, running off your chin to Dazai’s chest. Your hands shook, clenched around his arms so tightly you were sure you were breaking the skin.
Dazai pulled away, monitoring your face with concern. You hated the way he looked at you with such pity when he was the reason for such pain. Yet, you couldn’t help but curl into him, warm, never wanting to escape from his reverence. “Why are you crying, my sweet angel?”
Nausea soured your mouth, and the regret that tinged you, tainted you, was vastly overwhelming. It was horrible in a way that you’d never felt.
It struck you, then, that you’d been blind to Dazai’s every affection, too ignorant to notice the ways that they had shifted as his life did. He no longer held your hand over the table during meetings, but the chair beside his was just as grandiose, and he greeted you with something of a smile when you walked into each room. He no longer accompanied you on assignments, but you were always taken care of, in a hotel most people couldn’t afford with a partner that could singlehandedly take out a hundred men. He no longer picked you flowers from a wild field as he’d done as a boy, but the vase on the table always held a beautiful bouquet of deep, red roses, without a single wilting flower.  
Chuuya, all this time, all these years had been right. There was no use in loving Dazai if you couldn’t stand him in his darkest hour, the bitter ugly side of him that no one wanted to see.
You’d never thought about it, really, but you’d changed just as he had. Everyone in the Mafia had blood on their hands, was ruined in more ways than one, and you were no exception. If loving Dazai meant loving those parts of him, then loving you meant just the same.
The tears fell harder, and Dazai seemed panicked, stricken, always so oblivious when it came to the affairs of your heart, and sometimes he tried, but you couldn’t hate him if he didn’t.
“I’m sorry,” you said pitifully, knowing from the spoiled heart in your very chest had ruined everything. “I’m sorry.” You said it again and again until Dazai was shushing you, running a large, cool palm down your back, the only way he knew to soothe you.
“I wish I’d never done it. I wish I’d just spoken to you, asked you, anything—” you wiped your face, heavy breaths stuttering before Dazai took your hands away, and erased the tears for you. “I just thought you hated me. It was the only thing that made sense.”
Dazai smiled sadly, because no one had taught him to love. How was he to know that he’d been doing it wrong all this time. “I wish I’d seen it before. I didn’t mean to push you away.” He sighed, dropping his head to your shoulder with a weariness that he’d been born with. “I’m sorry.”
A tingling sensation began under your skin, and you were warm all over, realizing just how much that apology had meant to you. For some reason, it felt like coming home.
The strong grip that nostalgia had on you gradually began to melt away.
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bonny-kookoo · 5 months
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𝙁𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙝 𝙇𝙞𝙣𝙚 | Welcome Home [Request]
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Jungkook can't remember the last time you've been apart for so long. And with you gone, he might just go crazy- or make odd spontaneous decisions.
Tags/Warnings: Racer!Jungkook, established relationship, romance, they're so goofy, so much love, smut, lube? is that a warning?, bare sex (MC has an IUD), Jungkook got a haircut bc his girl was not around to make him contemplate his decisions before making them
Requested by: Miriwe on Patreon
Length: 2k words
-> Masterlist
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"I'm gone three days and you're already going crazy apparently." You laugh as you walk into the living room, where Jungkook is sitting on the couch, not having heard you walk in it seems like.
He immediately pauses his game to jump over the back of the furniture, almost tripping as he runs to you, picking you up to hold you close.
"Of course I went crazy!" He laughs, putting you down to your feet again to kiss you. "Had to spend three days in an empty bed without my fiancé." He laughs into his kisses, and you giggle. "Why didn't you tell me you were back? I would've picked you up from the airport." He whines a bit childishly, while you just shrug.
"Nah, would've caused too much of a commotion." You deny, reminding him of the fact that he's always causing some chaos whenever he's seen in public. "But putting that aside, when did you buzz it off?" You ask, fingers curiously running over the shaven sides of his head.
"Yesterday, actually." He chuckles. "My hair was getting in the way." He shrugs.
"So you decided 'oh yeah, I'm just gonna get even hotter while my girlfriend is away with her parents' like, excuse me?" You scold playfully.
"Fiancé, first of all, and I guess that already answers the question if it suits me." He laughs, happily correcting you in your own title.
"Ah, I can't believe I'm gonna get married to you." You swoon teasingly, smacking his chest once. "Now lemme go, I'm hungry." You say- but he's not letting you go at all. If anything, he pulls you even closer to himself.
"I'm hungry too." He tells you instead. You look at him in confusion.
"Okay? Then let me cook, idiot." You say, but he shakes his head.
"Nop." He denies, before picking you up and carrying you to the bedroom, hand loudly smacking your ass.
"Jeon Jungkook, no!" You laugh. "Please, I'm so jetlagged from the flight-" You complain, but he lets you down gently on the unmade bed, sheets unruly from his nightly rest. He's not really been sleeping well without you home- the three days of not having you around truly reminding him of just how much he needs you in his life.
Not just to keep order, but in general.
As odd as it sounds, he even caught himself multiple times the first day calling out to you, just to remember you're not home. His mind expected you in bed, in the kitchen, in the living room, every single time he'd enter the room- and the kitchen felt lonely, suffocating, with no company but the buzzing fridge and ticking cat-shaped clock on the wall. His house suddenly felt.. bland.
Especially on the second day, when he came out of the shower just to find the bed cold and empty, he found himself sitting on the edge of it, looking through pictures of you and him on his phone, browsing his gallery for hours until he finally fell asleep. It was a reminder, those few days. A reminder that he needs you, that you're a part of his life he can't really bear to not have around anymore.
A reminder that he made the right decision in asking you to marry him, entering the final stage of your relationship.
"I'll do all the work baby." He purrs, crawling over you as you stretch your limbs, visibly relaxing in the familiar home once more. "How was your trip?" He wonders, and you laugh, his hands helping you out of your sweater.
"Kook, I love you, but I'm not talking about my goddamn parents when we're about to have sex." You complain, and he chuckles, nodding.
"Alright, you got a point." He admits, pulling down your pants and socks to kiss up your leg. "I missed you so much." He hums against your skin, and you smile, reaching out to run your fingers through his hair.
"So much so you buzzed your hair off?" You laugh, and he nods, teasingly biting at your thigh.
"Exactly." He agrees. "Would've gone bald if you'd stayed away a day longer." He says, lips traveling up your stomach before his hands cup your chest, running over to the back of your body to unhook your bra.
"Oh no!" You jokingly exclaim. "But honestly I think your face makes every haircut work. Even that Dora-the-Explorer situation you had a year back." You say, making him roll his eyes as he throws your bra down carelessly.
"Stop bringing that up." He complains, and you laugh brightly so.
"But it's funny!" You tell him, before he bites at your chest. "Hey, stop biting!" You giggle.
"Stop biting~!" He mimics you, before he moves to kiss your neck. "As if you don't love it." He purrs.
"Caught me." You reply, legs moving already to wrap around him. "Now get naked, nerd." You flirt, and he can't help the laugh that escapes him.
"Can we be romantic at least once?" He whines, leaning back to rid himself of his shirt and pants.
"No, you'd burn the house down with those yankee-candles you got." You threaten, and he rolls his eyes yet again, opening the bedside drawer to search for a small bottle of scented lube, just in case.
"You really have no trust in me, baby." He shakes his head, putting the little plastic bottle on the side for now as he moves to pull your panties from your legs. "What if I used electrical ones?" He proposes. "Turn on some music. Cigarettes after sex- like, the band, not me smoking." He corrects.
"Obviously." You hum. "I'd leak your nudes if you smoked inside the house." You sigh, and he looks at you for a moment.
"That's a joke, right?" He asks, and you shrug, smiling at him. "That's a joke. You're joking." He states once more, but still, you don't answer. The funny part is that deep down, he actually believes you would indeed do that. You're a wildcard after all- he never  really knows if what you say is a joke or an actual fact you state.
Like when you said that he was fine accompanying his friend to his bachelor party, which was held at a nightclub, naked dancers included. You'd simply told him to have fun, but eat at home- and while for a moment or two, he didn't really know what you meant, he realized it soon after. You had no issue taking a look- hell, you constantly told him that some of the other racers were 'pretty hot', but he knows you'd never go after anyone but him. You might get your appetite up, yes-
but you eat at home.
"Jungkook you've never even sent me nudes you idiot!" You laugh after a moment of watching him clearly contemplating his life-choices up until now, finally realizing that you're right. "Or did you sent someone else some, huh?" You suddenly threaten, foot against his abs keeping him away from you while you glare.
"Absolutely not." He shakes his head immediately. "You can bet your pretty ass on that." He says, as you remove your leg from him, hands now reaching out, inviting him back in. "Only got you-" He hums towards you, kissing your lips hungrily. "Only need you." He finishes, and you sigh, hands on his arms.
"Missed you." You admit. "Couldn't sleep well at all." You say, and he smiles.
"Me neither." He shakes his head. "Thought about you way too much." Jungkook tells you, while his hand travels between your legs, touch reviving your soul it feels like as he works you up.
"We're so in love, it's actually kinda disgusting." You laugh, and he joins in on that.
"Nah." He denies. "We're just the definition of love." He shrugs, curling his fingers inside you, making you arch your back.
"Jungkook please-" You whine. "Stop teasing me, I'm way too horny now!" You complain, and he grins, moving to stroke his length with the hand still covered in your arousal.
He's just as impatient, but he also knows he needs to prep you well. Years of being in a relationship with you also comes with in-depth knowledge of your body, and how to love you just right. You might not realize it sometimes, but he knows that if he doesn't pay good attention to detail, you'll be sore tomorrow-
and he plans on making up for those three days, just to remind you what you've been missing.
He reaches for the tiny bottle on the bedside table to squeeze some of the clear liquid out, making sure to make it as comfortable as possible for you, before he lines himself up with your entrance, moving your legs up a little to pull you closer. It's been something you've been quite insecure about- having refused to admit to him for months that he's packing a bit too much for you to handle without any help sometimes, and he's felt bad that you thought you couldn't tell him. Back then, he'd been insecure himself- with no prior knowledge about anything regarding sex, you've been both a little lost in translation on some occasions.
There's been more than a handful of awkward moments during your times together- and by now, you're both comfortable to the point where nothing is weird any longer.
The sweet smell of sweet strawberries fills the air faintly as he pushes himself in, sighing in bliss at the familiar feel of your body welcoming him. "Good?" He asks you, and you nod, making him tap your nose so you open your eyes again. "Really?" He asks again, and you move a bit now, nodding. It's the confirmation he needed to start moving, leaning back on his heels to roll his hips forwards, your lower body resting over his thighs as he keeps you elevated like that with his hands holding your legs. You've got your arms relaxed into the pillows over your head, eyes closed as your chest sways with every thrust he delivers.
He loves having you back. Not just your body- but you, in general.
"I wanna come with you next time." He tells you, fingers gripping the flesh of your thighs. "Don't care if they like me or not." He growls, never slowing down his pace.
"Jungkookie~!" You whine, before laughing. "What did I say literally- like- twenty minutes ago?" You complain, and he laughs too, nodding.
"Sorry, sorry." He apologizes, letting go of your legs to lean over you, kissing you once more. It's the only way he knows he'll shut up for long enough- there's just so much rushing through his head, everything that's happened in those three days trying to break out his mouth just to talk to you- because he can talk to you now. You're back home, and he just missed you so fucking much.
Now, of course you talked over the phone daily, sure. But it's just not the same. It's not close enough.
Right now, he's out of breath, forced to part from you just a little, leaning his face into the crook of your neck as he presses his pelvis into you, your legs wrapping around his waist to keep him close, arms around his neck keeping him from parting from you. "I love you so much." He hums against your skin, picking up his pace, exhaling through his nose as his jaw clenches, orgasm approaching quickly. His hand assists you by finding your most sensitive spot, pushing you over the edge so he can let go as well, your core clenching around his length to keep him in, milk him for all he's got.
He's out of breath, and so are you- his body simply laying down close to you, moving you around to lay over him, still inside you. "Kook, I'm sticky-" You whine, but he just smiles, hands smacking your butt. "Jungkook!" You scold, laughing, and he simply reaches for your face, to peck your lips.
Twice. Because once is just never enough.
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566 notes · View notes
ma3mae · 9 months
Note
MAEEE AAAA I NEED PART TWO OD YOUR "NO BRAIN, JUST HORNY" HC AKSJDJDDJ
Make a part two??🥺🫶Maybe Chuuya and Nikolai?
No brain, just horny! 2
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Summary: Oh no! Your bf's acting all hot! What to do??? (Chuuya, Akutagawa, Nikolai, Fyodor)
Genre: fluff, crack, bit suggestive 🤓
Warnings: TO HORNY JAIL WITH YALL 💀✋
A/N: ANOONNN WKDJEKHFKS HERE U GO, SWEETIE 🤩🤩🤩 how can yall find rat man hot, idk man 💀 his parts rly short bc I CANT WRITE HIM so see it as a small extra 💀💀 not proofread btw 💀
Part 1
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Nakahara Chuuya
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😳 yall wanna get railed by this man, huh??
Cant blame u tho 💀😭 😭
honestly i think his reaction would prob depend on his mood, lowkey like rampo
Just that his reaction would be a bit more intense EHEH
idk if hes kinda busy at the moment and annoyed bc work is being a hoe, hed prob be all impatient like "Damn, doll. Im barely holding myself back as well so just wait a bit, will ya?"
As much as hed love to indulge u immediately, he still values his work yk 😔😔😔
ok yk what would be funny tho? Like he told u he'd be having a meeting at his work place and honestly, its not hard enough to know where it is bc its like legit one of the highest buildings (idk maybe even the highest???) in yokohama lmaoo
And you've been waiting for him to come back home after two weeks but noooo, he has to report everything to his boss 🤓🤓🤓🤓
so you're like "alright, im horny and been waiting for too long."Guess where we're going yall 😋😋😋😋???
TO HELL
Jk nah but we makin our way over there and lets just say they only know u as "the love of his life who def shouldnt be messed with if they wanna live" bc he'd go haywire AS HE SHOULD if anything happened to u 💀
Anyway we know when the meeting's being held so oopsie, we "accidentally" manage to find him in the hallway with some of his colleagues
"Oi, isn't that your girlfriend over there, Boss??" not only tachihara but everyone's confused on why u r even there??
Chuuya just whips his head around and doesnt know if he should just yeet himself outta the building or be happy to see you bc
YES
YES HE DID MISS YOU BUT WHY ARE YOU THEREEEE??💀💀💀💀💀💀😭😨
its especially bad if our boy still hasn't told you what hes actually doing bc no way in hell wants he to drag u into that shi 💀
Anyway you're just too excited so u ignore his to tomato face with a twitching eyebrow and you start to jog towards him but damn tf is that???
OF COURSE theres a bump sticking outta the carpet SMH SUE THE CLEANING STAFF😋
And obviously we all know whos gonna trip on that
But as embarassed as he is, your future hubby will make sure that you won't end up on the floor 💕💕
all you feel is a slight gust of wind and you can only open your eyes to see his gorgeous ones
"Don't just fall for me every time you see me, doll." LMAO thats so corny and he actually gets even more red when he realises wtf he just spouted out of his mouth but he couldnt help it 😭
Especially when hes holding you bridal style in his arms and you can feel him subconciously squeeze you tighter against him bc he missed his wifey
and we are just too whipped to stop ourselves from saying "Chuu chuu, i just couldnt wait anymore. Can we move this to our place? I'll be anything you want, even just a hole for you, mkay?"
HAHAHAHA WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS 💀
thats the EXACT question that goes through his mind as he just stares at you like 😳
But he cant deny that it made him feel hot, even down there a bit...
"Come in when you're done, Chuuya." is all you hear from HIS fking boss as he just sends the both of you a smile as he enters the room before closing the door
Help our man, hes so TORN
All he can do is take a deep breath, trying to stop his face from heating up bc its already hot enough as it is
He'll gently set you down but still keeps a secure grip around your waist with one arm
His gloved hand tilts your face slightly up and all you see is a sea of blue
Letting his gloved thumb slowly glide on your bottom lip
"You really like teasing me. Dont'cha sweetheart? Just give me 15 minutes and then we'll be at home. Honestly might scold you for your little stunt but it's not like you don't like that, right? But I gotta say...."
cherry sweet lips lock onto yours for what seems like only a second before feeling them on your forehead
"I did miss you pretty much...and I'll make it up to you. Thanks for your patience, love."
now YOU'RE the one who's face is about to explode and that annoying ass smirk of his isnt even helping u but oh well
He should be lucky that you're so in love with him and that his handsome looks always manage to hold you back from yelling at him out of embarassement 💀😳
He gives you a peck on the lips before giving you on last squeeze
"Only a little bit longer, okay? Will give you a proper kiss when we're at home."
He makes his way back but stops "Also I love you but please... wait at home next time. No need for anyone to see your cute ass here. Only mine to look at, yk.." the last part kinda gets muffled under his breath as he tilts his fedora down to hide his heated face but welp, ofc u heard everything 😋
Anyway, you let him go to his meeting with a wave with ur hand bc he did promise to make it up to you and your body would be tingling with excitement until yall get back home for yk what 😋😋😋💅
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Akutagawa Ryunnosuke
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ngl he'd make a similar expression to this pic here 💀 like hes fking constipated or smth
Give my man some time pls bc its his first relationship and he needs some minute to get it through his head that you feel sexually attracted enough to him to yearn for him, broo
"Can't you just... wait until we get home? Why now?" SKKSKS you think he sounds so pissed but hes just so confused 💀😭😭
lmao just came up with a ridiculous scenario
idk some random wannabe gang is stirring up some trouble in yokohama
And how do u resolve this problem as fast as u can?
By sending one of ur best men there who legit just slices them all in mere secs 😋
but wait whats that?
"Are you fucking kidding me?"
You just stare wide eyed at your boyfriend as he stands there infront of the mall, choking the living shit out of what seems to be some weird thug
"Ryu, what are you doing here?"
He just clicks his tounge out of annoyance and casually tosses the man to the side as he makes his way towards you
Stopping infront of you, you only see his furrowed eyebrows and the annoyed look on his face
But if you look closely, you'll see a glimpse of worry in them💕
"I could ask you the same thing. Didn't I telll you to stay at home? And specifically to not enter this area?"
You can only sheepishly laugh at his words and the huff at your answer wasnt that helpful
"Well, the mall here had your favorite tea on sale and I really wanted to surprise you with it!"
He just puts a hand on his face as you peek over his shoulder, only seeing whips and bits of rashomon dealing with the thugs while you boyfriend seems somehow unbothered by their presence, hell he was legit not even aknowledging them at this point 💀
"Let me just finish this real quick and then I'll take you home."
"But I still have t-"
A glare from him immediately zipped your mouth shut, deeming it unnecessary to argue with him any further since he could be very very stubborn
"Just stay behind me and wait."
If you had to be honest, watching your bf just casually beat the shit out of 20 or more men without even breaking a sweat made you feel really hot
He might be stoic, blunt or whatever everyone would call him but at the end of the day, he'd make sure you're well protected and cared for, even if it would take some nudges from you to guide him
He was a fast learner after all in every aspect of your relationship
And it wasn't until he poked your forehead that you snapped out of your trance, your face beet red and only for him to raise an eyebrow at you
"Don't tell me you got sick from just being outside for a bit? I really don't know how someone frail like you had managed to live for so long."
Harsh words yet the gentle press of his hand against your forehead was telling a different story
"Hm, you aren't heating up that much. But I'll still be taking you home."
"Can you stay with me then? Because honestly, watching that fight somehow made me really horny."
🤨 > 😳
"Are you kidding me? How does watching me beat the shit out of some random wannabe thugs make you horny?"
You can only groan at his answer but couldn't keep the smirk on your lips from growing as you noticed the red hue on his cheeks
"It's just hot to see how easy it was for you to just casually fend of all of them. Not to mention, that it's always nice to have a reminder what a strong and reliable lover I have. I'm just really lucky, I guess"
Ah, you smart vixen.
Always using his praise kink for your advantage and oh boy, he knows
But he just can't help his rising pulse at what your words just do to him
"W-Why-? Y-You-???"
Suddenly he grabbing your hand, he turns his body away from you, only his back in your sight as he continues to walk
"Ryu, are we walking ba-"
"Told you I'm taking you home. Someone has to make sure nothing happens to you since you probably wouldn't even know how to defend yourself."
"Aah, I see. Well I'll be sure to thank you properly when we're at home." 😋🤩
A hitched breath and his grip tightening around your hand really made it difficult not to laugh at him
Well, atleast it was nice knowing that you weren't the only one eager to get home asap 💀💀
At the end, you thanked him as promised and he made sure to make you feel safe as always
"Oh, thank you for the tea... I guess.." he'd mumble in your ear as he pressed your back against his chest, his arms tucked comfortably around you. 🤭
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Nikolai Gogol
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erm 😨 how about no?
Do u not value life?
Jk but his goofy ass would NEVER let u rest if u even show him a tiny bit on how horny you are 💀💀💀💀
bro's like "ew human desires, they only bind u" lowkey (not as hard as fyodor but yk what i mean)
but hes sadly down bad for his future or maybe already wifey so 😉 how could he 😉 say no 😉
like idk lets say for whatever reason u r also part of their rat gang 💀 and its honestly a big headache to endure his weird and annoying antics every day
But thats what made u fall in love bc u have bad taste 😋😋😋 same tho
is prob gonna tease u about that too like "Oh, Y/N~ So many men out there and yet you still chose me?? Either you're just very desperate or you just don't care at all! But don't worry, I'm more than happy to be the one who's on your mind all day 🤩🤩🤩" he says as he's casually bombing a whole building and kills hundreds of people 🤩
Thats for sure gonna be blowing ur mind for weeks 💀 IM SORRY
throw him into a trash can or smth 💀 jkjk maybe im not 💀💀
anyway back to the scenario 💀
lets say hes as always acting like the 🤡 he is and disrupting everyone's life by being plain annoying
Ok so fyodor threatened to kill him for the 100th time? Check.
Sigma's crying in his office bc he just escaped random pairs of scissors flying at him for the whole day? Check. someone has to cut that atrocious hair away, okur💀💀💀
Getting hit by gf after randomingly stealing kisses from her?
Che-
"But why won't you let me kiss you, Y/N????"
Dodging his attempts for what would seem the 30th time for the day, you hastily continued to make your way to Sigma, a box of self made cookies in your hand.
"You've been harassing everyone for the entire day as always! And don't get me started on what you tried to do to Sigma!"
You could only hear a whine as fast footsteps tried to outrun yours, you wanting nothing but wanting to somehow lift Sigma's spirits up since no one else would make their time to comfort him after the inhuman pranks your boyfriend couldn't refrain from doing
"But he's just so funny, you know! How could anyone resist not teasing him all day?!"
"Teasing doesn't mean endangering his life! Only because YOU don't like his hair!"
"Hmm, but won't you atleast give me one kiss before you go?"
"nope, never. Bye!"
Aah, you really shouldn't have challenged him 😨
"Well, then I guess you won't be needing that then!"
"Huh?"
A
"NIKOLAI GOGOL?! GIVE ME THE FUCKING BOX BACK!!" only hearing maniacal cackling quickly distancing itself from you, as he ran away with the box in his hand
Ah, he really was blessed with the perfect ability for him
Too stubborn and annoyed to realise his intentions, you quickly followed him, the urge of wanting to punch him pulling you towards him like a magnet
"A chase is what he wants? Okay, he'll get it." 😋😋
Knowing immediately that he made it too easy for the both of you as he nonchalantly laid on your shared bed, crumbs on his cheeks as he enjoyed your cookies, his mask casually laying next to him.
"You are more than an annoying child, you know that?"
"Yep but I don't care! Also how dare you only make cookies for your friend when you've got such a loving partner like me!"
A groan slipped out of you as you walkes over to him, earning yourself a "HEY?!" as you snatched the box away from him
"If you wanted some, you could have just asked like a normal person. I wouldn't have minded sharing some and Sigma probably not."
"Ugh, like a normal person? You know that's just boring~ buuuut if you really want me to then-"
You felt a pull at your wrist, making your chest hitting his as you landed on top of him, affectively stradling him
Both of your hands at the side of his head as you tried to lift yourself up, yet the arm around your waist stopping you, your faces only mere inches away from each other
A smirk splayed on his face as he wiped the crumbs away from his lips with his gloved thumb
Pressing it softly against your lips, the movement ingrained in your body as you opened them without any protest
a low chuckle at your cute actions as you licked the crumbs of his thumb before releasing it with a soft 'pop'
"Is that normal enough for you, my dove?"
Not letting the heat on your face and body stop you from throwing remarks at him, you merely stated "That wasn't asking, just plain seduction at this point."
Letting his eyes trail over your body and the hands next to him, tightly clutching the sheets only spurred him further on.
"Well, I've got your attention now, right?"
"You're lucky that I love you."
"Isn't it good to know we're both obesessed, dearie?"
A whine left his lips as you tucked at his hair at that statement, grazing your teeth across his neck before harshly biting on it.
"Well, then end what you've started then."
"Gladly."
Getting hit by Y/N after randomingly stealing kisses from them? Hair pulled, make out sessions and more after annoying them? Double Check.
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Fyodor Dostojevski
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💀 im dead, you're dead, we're all DEAD
ok jk he wouldnt kill u bc even if he wont admit it immediately, he loves u 😋
but why would u feed his annoying god complex like that 😨😨
but guess what 😋 youve always had bad taste so why not be together with a terrorist 🤩
Ur only dates would be either sitting in his stinky room full of computers as hes been sitting there for days and you're chilling on his lap
or yall actually go outside to ruin someone's life 💅
and honestly, what better way to confirm that humans r horrible af when he sees you get turned on by his horrid acts 💀💀💀
"I just took a life infront of your very eyes and all you say is how hot that is? Well, aren't you ruined to the point of return? But that's what makes you so interesting, I guess."
UGHH IDK HOW YALL CAN LOVE HIM 💀💀💀
i think it would be rly difficult to actually turn him on as well at first
Or catch him off guard tbh bc all you'd get is a condescending smirk of him just teasing you
He'll prob also just call u out about how horny you are but its ok bc he loves having that effect on you 🤩
"Is it seeing someone's eyes lose their light? Killing the gifted because the world would be purer without them? Tying them up and choking the life out of them? Or is it because I am the one doing these acts? Planning it all out, only for you to witness it? How about I'd do it to you, hmm?"I FEEL ITCHY AFTER WRITING THAT 💀
tbh it depends how "horny" u r tbh bc he'd prob make you beg for it first by just telling u off n stuff until you cant take ir anymore
Like if you want him then SHOW him how much you want him 🤩
he prob has not that much of a stamina but he'd make up for it with technique what am i writing rn😭😭😭😭
anyway you'd def be satisfied but he'd prob make you work for it first before tending to ur "needs"
im crying i hate this
😭
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A/N: DAMN already hit 400 followers?? thinking of maybe doing smth for that, idk what tho. Got too many ideas 💀 and lmao sorry for the radio silence 💀 writers block and life, we love it.
386 notes · View notes
angelltheninth · 1 year
Note
hii could i please request xiao x fem (or gn) reader where they're out with friends n he sees zhongli flirting with reader n it pushes xiao to confess n maybe leads to some public sex (bc theyre out drinking lol)
Haven't done just Xiao content before but I have been playing him a bit more lately. Not my main, those are either Zhongli or Itto but Xiao is really fun.
Pairing: Xiao x Fem!Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut, jealousy, cum marking, sex in an alleyway, rough sex, semi-clothed sex, hickies, Reader being pinned to the wall, confession, wall sex
A/N: I feel like Xiao is one of those people who doesn't get tied easily but when he likes you you'll know it really well.
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Xiao isn't normally a man to show his jealous side to anyone, much less in a public place, he has a certain reputation that he's build up over the years and he aims to keep it intact
That being said there's also very little he can do to suppress it when he sees how familiar you're acting with Zhongli
Xiao trusts you, of course he does, if he didn't he would never have allowed himself to get this close to you in the first place
The feelings he's feeling towards you lately are new to him, and a little scary too
Which is why it surprised even him when he had to pull you away from Zhongli because he simply couldn't take him flirting with you anymore
He shouldn't feel this way, you don't belong to him
Oh but how he wishes you did
He'd spent many embarrassing and long nights thinking about you, your smile, your laugh... your mouth wrapped around his cock, sucking on the tip, all the little noises he could draw from you
He can't hide it anymore, not now, not when he feels like he's gonna lose you if he doesn't say something
Even if it costs him his heart and pride
He pulls you in a dimly lit alley, away from view of others, he can't wait to get you home, normally he would but these aren't normal circumstances, not for him
His lips are shaking as they crash against your before you can even ask him what's going on
You're rendered immobile, shocked, he pulls away head buried in your chest as his whole body keeps shaking from the adrenaline of what he just did
Before his courage can leave him he says it, all of it, he confesses his love for you and the filthy desires he's had for months
As much as you're taken back by this sudden development, well more the declaration of love than anything else you also can't help but be happy for it
When you kiss him back Xiao can't help but sigh against your lips, thinking that perhaps you feel the same as him
A fact that is confirmed when you whisper that you've liked him for a while now, and even more when you reach down to palm as his hard cock
For someone who takes pride in control he sure does lose himself around you quite easily, further he doesn't bother denying it at all
He wants to lose himself to you, in you, inside of you, be one with you and make you lose yourself just as much
The best the two of you can manage in your frenzied, horny state is your skirt hiked up and your panties moved to the side while Xiao has his pants down just enough for his cock to be free and slide smoothly inside of your wet hole
His lips are back on yours before you either of you can make too much noise that would get you caught
Xiao never thought he'd meet someone who'd make him want to do things like these in broad daylight, yet he's sinking his cock into your cunt as fast as hard as you can take without hurting you
He keeps his fingers intertwined with yours, pinned to the sides of your head, he doesn't want to lose contact with you any longer then it takes him to pull out then slide back into the slick warmth of your pussy
You want him, you want to feel him everywhere, you want his cum, you want to be marked by him, that is your sinful confession to him
He's more than happy to oblige, thrilled really
His slightly sharp teeth on your skin, his cock slamming deep and hitting the sweet spot inside of you, his groans melting with your gasps as you both race towards your orgasms, trying to see who can get there faster
You feel the warm rush of Xiao's cum, first inside then all over your thighs and even getting onto your clothes
His cock is back inside you quickly, he wants to feel your walls clenching around him as you finish, milking his cock until he has no more to give
There's no need to him to hold back anymore
Not when you're finally his, and he is yours
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safetycar-restart · 4 months
Note
Getting feelings over Max releasing a little Lion named Jimmy as merch. It makes me think about how maybe its based off of little!Max’s favorite plushie. And how maybe little!Max wants to give you one too, and he’s all shy about giving you the present but also a little proud bc it was his idea? And look its here now?? Huhu. All your littles just give me all the feels 😭😭
Also the D/S au lestappen idea of having the same professional dom in Monaco tho. 👀👀👀 Like, how do they find about each other? Did they run into each other when one was leaving/arriving? Maybe after it at first they’re kinda awkward around each other? And then maybe if they’re at like a triple header and haven’t seen their dom in like 3 weeks, they kinda commiserate with each other over how much they miss them???
Aw okay yes I love both of these ideas so much!! I'm so happy you guys are enjoying all the littles content! And yeah I'm also loving this lestappen idea, so I'm gonna tag it with 'D/S AU - lestappen' so that we can group all the content about it because I would LOVE to discuss it more and develop it further. I'm gonna discuss each of these ideas a little bit and then I can always expand on them in future asks if you guys would like :))
LITTLE!MAX:
Jimmy the lion!!! Max is so so proud of him!! Of course max was absolutely terrified of releasing it as merch, and his management certainly looked at him like he'd gone insane when he first suggested it. But he wanted to do it so badly.
I almost think it's a way for max to accept his little space into his every day life? For so long he denied that aspect of himself, refused to acknowledge it until he couldnt stop a drop. He wouldn't prepare for it at all, never allowing himself to buy plushies or toys or cute jammies for his little self.
But now that he's grown to accept that side of him and actually allows himself to think about it and prepare for it and plan for it? He lets himself look over his schedule and allocate time just to regress and be cared for.
He's come so far and he just... he wants a way to represent his little self in his merch and in how people see him. The lion plushie is absolutely perfect for that and while his fans are a little confused when it gets announced, they absolutely LOVE it.
And oh my god of course he must give you one!! He's so nervous for that, so nervous to give you something like that because it's so so special to him. He waits until he's regressed, wrapping the present nicely in his adult headspace and leaving it with his toys for him to get when he regresses.
You're so shocked when little max crawls into your lap later and shyly hands you a gift, making you promise you won't laugh before you open it. And of course you love it!!! You give both your maxy and your new jimmy a forehead kiss, promising maxy that you'll take good care of your new plushie.
D/S AU - LESTAPPEN:
I love the idea that they run into each other outside of the building? So maybe you're a professional dom in Monaco known for being exclusive and private, so much so that you have your own studio that you use for scenes. This means that there's no way either of them could have been there for something different when they run into each other.
Max is exiting your studio, a small smile on his face and zero tension in his body because he's just finished his scene with you and he feels so good. What max loves about you is how you always give your subs as much aftercare as possible, allowing them to cuddle with you for hours until they're ready to leave.
On that day, max stayed even longer than usual so that when he left, Charles was already there waiting for his scene. Charles, conversely, was all stress and nervous energy. He needed this scene so bad, needed to be taken into subspace and made to feel whole again.
They're in shock when they run into each other, neither of them knowing what to say now that they knew. Even though both of them had official team doms to use an emergency, those doms couldnt raise a candle to you.
"You too?" max asks, surprised. Charles just nodded and headed inside, not being in the right headspace at all to think about the fact that max also scened with you.
Charles doesn't mention this to you when the scene starts, and he and max don't acknowledge it for weeks until it's the third race in a triple header and neither of them have been back to Monaco since before the triple header began.
Charles goes to max to complain about how much he misses you because he knows Max would understand. Anyone else he tells would just tell him to use the Ferrari team dom if he needs to be taken down, but no thats not what he needs. He needs you, and he knows max will understand.
Max does understand, and they end up talking about how good of a dom you are and how much they miss you. After that, they talk about it more and more.
I also think they'd start to talk about how much they both hate the idea of you domming other people? They know you're a professional dom and so of course you have other clients and neither of them have any right to be upset about that. But well... even though they're submissive they're both also possessive of you. They both want you with them all the time and their skin crawls when they think of how they're all alone missing you and you're busy domming other clients.
Interestingly, neither of them seem to mind that you dom the other though...
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scarfacemarston · 6 months
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J and E for arthur please! and maybe this is cheating but could i have a bonus how he’d get back together too bc i can’t have angst without a happy ending 🥹
For have a second I thought you said Arthur cheating and I would have been like, nooo. This is a longer one because you gave me three prompts.These have also been added to the Charthur tag by request. Please let me know if there is another ship that should be added. Prompt here for everyone! J: Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they're jealous?) - Given that he has low confidence and how humble he is when it comes to love, I feel like it's more of a "Oh, of course she found someone, they are younger/more attractive/more well off/etc than me." However, that doesn't mean he doesn't feel it. He tends to be a bit more weary in camp or saloons. Camp because it's something he's picked up from others and it makes sense that people know that you two are in a relationship. At a saloon, he's thinking of potential "low lives". However, places like the nicer parts of St. Denis can trigger him as well because he feels like he can't give the reader what they deserve. He might say a self deprecating comment, or he may say a sarcastic comment to the person flirting and snake an arm around your waist. It depends on his mood. E - Ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) I think it would only be if he was feeling insecure and thought they were better off with someone else. Maybe he sees reader having a good time with Sean, Sadie or Lenny and he feels as though he can't provide that for the reader, so it's best to let them go. Arthur is very tolerant so I don't see it as something that is small or a bad habit. He had a very complicated relationship with Mary and regardless of one's opinion of her, she did have a lot of power over him. I think with the reader, it would be the same and the reader would have to be careful not to take advantage of him. He's a people pleaser with more than just Dutch and Hosea and that would include the reader. I think if he started acting low honor-ish or at least engaging in more criminal behavior, he would think that you don't need to be dragged down by him. Then, the talks of "I'm too old. I have a lot of baggage. There are more honest men out there." etc. begins. Unless reader did something horrible, that's the only way I see Arthur ending it. To him, break ups are more likely a "him" problem, not a you problem. Bonus: Getting back together: I really don't see him actually pursuing that on his own. He'd have to get a lot of hints about it first from you. He's not "going to make a fool" of himself again. Hosea, Charles, Lenny or Abigail would have to talk sense into him or the reader would have to make it clear that they want him. It's not the gushy answer you may want, but meta wise, it's the realistic answer. I like to combine the two. It would be awkward at first, quiet conversations that are pretty surface level until he blurts something out about what he feels when the tension becomes too much, or if he says some unexpectedly funny comment. Once that first step is taken, he's still apprehensive, but gains his confidence back from there. Again, reader has to be VERY communicative and clear with him. From there, it would be going out on rides together, just the two of you, or exploring a new place he found. Maybe he'd take you hunting, or to town if you really wanted to. It would be slow, but if you/reader loved Arthur, it would be worth it.
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effieandtim · 2 months
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I've lowkey been annoyed at Paul M for awhile now and seeing him get a nomination and Andrew did not is adding that annoyance no matter how unfair that is for him. And he's about to start filming another gay movie with Josh O'connor and they'll probably get nominations for that when it comes out but actual out gay actors are constantly getting looked over. Jonny saying he did not expect to win because he's out but if he was straight he wouldn't even have to think about it, of course he'd win because he was the best.
see tbh i dont think this is paul’s fault bc he didnt have anything to do with the voting, so it’s all on the awards
but i am fr so pissed at the andrew snub, first at cca and now at baftas - and mind you, these are just the noms
it brings back that conversation though about straight actors playing gay roles and getting flowers for it while gay actors miss out on it - even if they play straight or queer roles
i am not gonna go into the whole discourse of acting and who should get what role etc but at the end of the day, queer actors deserve the same accolades their straight counterparts get irrespective of the character they play bc no matter how much some people try to deny it, they do NOT get that recognition and opportunities the same way straight actors do
thats why jonny’s win for fellow travelers meant so much to me and people from the community and to him as well, bc he (and everyone at that table) knew that this isn’t something that happens too often and they had to fight for it - both personally and professionally
also look at this number - this just broke my heart and i am so glad that colman is on his way to change that, i hope andrew gets that chance too
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nopeferatu · 6 months
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Poll time!
I'd love to hear your reasonings for your responses! See below the cut for my own take, but only after you vote! :P
Putting this out there bc I've read a lot of BBM fic and I always thought it was pretty clear that the whole "Fellas like you and me, we march off to hell" "You may be a sinner, but I ain't yet had the opportunity" scene was Ennis slyly admitting to Jack that he was a virgin.
There are no lines that directly say this is the case, neither within the movie script (although there were rumors that an earlier draft had Ennis saying smth like "You may be a sinner, but Alma ain't yet given me the opportunity) nor the short story (unless you take "nothing he'd done before but no instruction manual needed" as the narrator saying Ennis had never penetrated anything before, which is how I have always understood it). I just always felt like Ennis assumes that Jack, the a swaggering, cocky rodeo dude, is more wordly than him and has been presented with a lot of different opportunities to indulge in what their conservative Christian society considers sin and vice... including premarital sex.
So imagine my surprise when I found that a surprising amount of people write Ennis as having had previous sexual experiences before ever meeting Jack. There's nothing wrong with it, of course, like you can interpret these characters however you want yanno? I just don't personally agree with that assessment.
Not to like... give any validity to the idea of virginity since at the end of the day it's just a social concept, lol, but I just think it's really important narratively that Ennis lose his virginity to a man. Like, he's been worried all his life about the consequences of queerness within men, and yet the seemingly first time he's ever presented with the opportunity to have sex is with another man, and he absolutely jumps at it. That point is in tandem with my belief that Ennis is the type who probably never pressured good lil Christian Alma for sex, which probably also leads him down a mental spiral after that first night with Jack. What does that say about him, that he was perfectly content with Alma not putting out, but that he did Jack with an angry enthusiasm the first chance he got? He might deny that it doesn't mean anything, but you know he lingers on it all the time.
Plus, I just think it's really cute that Jack is his first time. Jack, who he's been really drawn to since they first met. Jack, who probably became his first and only friend in life. Jack, who understood him in ways that Alma never could. I just really like the idea that Jack was the first person he ever had sex with, and the love that grew from there kept them coming back to each other over the next 20 years of their lives. How many people can say that they stayed loving the first person they ever had sex with that long? His relationship with Jack lasted longer than his own marriage, for Christ's sake.
Anyways... incoherent rambling over. I'm excited to see the results :3
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grokebaby · 3 months
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@magnuficentwo
AYYYY UNDERRATED VARPUNEN FAM TIME LESGOOO. I'm thinking I'll try to say one positive and one negative but I won't force it if it stalls me
P - Negative: See she was born into a warrior family (aka she's the beast variety of demon), which in itself was just not the right lifestyle for her personally. Real stressful. I could pick probably multiple experiences from here but let's highlight the string of clashes between a Plague from those days who ended up killing and injuring several beasts. There are still two living Villagers that bear the scars from this time. P, however, bears the mental scars of having one or her co apprentices and teachers murdered. She has survivors guilt and various other kinds of guilt from this and suffered a bad freeze reaction that has stayed with her for a while.. The victims weren't even super close to her, but it was the sheer horror of the fact that anyone could just die (and in her mind, it'd be her fault bc she failed to help them).
As a bonus, btw, the plague involved in these events is dead nowadays. Please, do take a guess as to how.
Positive: One time, P and Nan were left home alone together for roughly a week, and since P mostly didn't interact with Nan aside from what she deemed necessary, things got quiet and awkward for a bit.. P was honestly scared, bc she had the fear that this was some kind of test from their husband - one she could fail miserably, somehow, so she remained on her tiptoes the whole time. He said he'd be off on a business trip and as the author I can verify this is actually true, and it wasn't a test, but unfortunately Ps mental state was... Not good. Thanks to him. A few days in, Nan approaches P carefully and tells her that it's okay if she doesn't know what to say, and if she needs her alone time. But if she did want to hang out, or talk, or anything, Nan would be here listening, no pressure to come up with anything special. See Nan had thought that the avoidance had more to do with Ps social anxiety and being a very withdrawn person, rather than paranoia over their husband. Although I won't deny she had a hunch..
Either way, this left a very positive impression on P, and she found some kind of strength in the fact that maybe, just maybe, if things get bad enough, she can lean on Nan. That, and she decided then and there to try her best to treat nan better and try to approach her on her terms. It didn't end up happening too much (not enough in her eyes), but it did still happen.
Sighs lovingly. P deserves way more attention imo. I did not hold back from rambling. Anyways!
Pesticinger - Negative: (TW TORTURE FEEL FREE TO SKIP) So it's widely known she's unpopular amongst humans for obvious reasons, so they often plot various things to get back at her, and often try to even capture or kill it. So there's this waterfall. A group of humans really want Pesticinger to have her "comeuppance" for what she's put them through. So this waterfall. They've set a trap there, where there's a rope that ties into a noose when released, and it hangs under the rushing water. Pesticinger is lured into this trap, and here's the situation: she's got a noose around her throat, and it tightens the further you pull on it. If she gets swept up by the water's pull, it starts choking her, combined with the water trying to pull her under. So she has to literally constantly fight the water, or she suffocates (either by drowning, or noose). It is not a good time. Her feathers get soaked the hell out so flying becomes difficult, she's quickly exhausted and it's kinda hard to call for help when you're trying to fight suffocation. She was rescued, of course. Poor bird. But she can barely even look at a noose, and the noise of waterfalls gives her anxiety. So do ropes, if they're put anywhere near her body.
This next memory I'm not sure if I'd label it necessarily either strictly positive or negative but it was very impactful for her. See Pesticinger has the mental capacity to get really, really introspective and existential, but the way her brain works, also sometimes leads it to tie itself into knots and leads her down dead ends she can't think herself out of. So it can definitely overwhelm itself by overthinking. When she was still very young, in one of these cases, she came to speak to her creator henself; the Mistress. It asked many panicked, disjointed questions, trying to untangle it's mind, and getting distressed, it started knocking at it's head with it's foot. The Mistress, gently, places hens hand on Pesticingers face to block the hits, and they share silent eye contact for a moment.
"Dear bird.. You don't have to know all the answers. You might, someday, but you don't need to. You are more than just a bird, or a beast; you are a force of nature. Even still, you can be as ordinary as you want. Just don't forget yourself."
Pesticinger still feels.. Bittersweet, about it. She's frustrated that she didn't get the answers, in fact the denial of them entirely upset her back then. But she can't say it wasn't also comforting. The reason this memory isn't purely positive is mainly due to Pesticingers mindset.
I think I'll cap this post here BUT BEFORE I DO I'll include just a little something from Nan bc. My number one Varpunen fam for sure. It'll be under the cut
I'll be vague bc I was actually writing a whole thing about this and it's still kinda in progress. But.
Something that's really stuck with Nan was when she, at one point, took her kids to see their grandpa, aka Nans father. He knew there were kids, but hadn't met them due to life just sweeping everyone up for a while.
He did not react well to seeing them. Their visit became very short and very uncomfortable. Nan had to have a talk with her father privately, (His name is Yngve Surström, btw) while the kids awkwardly waited outside.
This would become the last time Nan sees her father before he disappeared completely. Nobody knows why. Or how.
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cheemken · 2 months
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Same anon who sent the ask about Drayton having a fear of ice types/the cold, I gave you angst but now I bring fluff
Crispin might not be the sharpest tool in the shed but he’s definitely picked up on how Drayton is around ice types/the cold even if drayton denies it, EVERYONE knows what happened in opelucid city, Crispin would be more surprised if Drayton wasn’t traumatized from that experience so Crispin often distracts Drayton whenever Crispin visits the polar biome! He also lets his Pokemon out “to get a breath of fresh crisp air” but really it’s to warm Drayton up since they just radiate heat and spook off any ice types, he himself also isn’t shy about just hugging Drayton when he can (fire type trainers also run hot fr) so he’s got toasty hugs!!! Crispin does try to be subtle about his distractions and warming up Drayton as he doesn’t want Drayton to push him away and keep his fears even more locked up! He wants to support his friend!!!
He also may or may not have gifted Drayton a torchic once Drayton becomes more comfortable w/ sharing his fears, friend shaped heat warmer :) ~Drayton Angst anon 💛
Drayton/Crispin friendship my beloved😭😭😭
Your honour you do not understand how trash I am w platonic pairings I fucking love this so so much chdmbxj
You're so right, he'd so give him a Torchic ;w;
Would also be sweet if Drayton names the Torchic after Crispin or like a similar name bc ofc he'd be soft like that but he won't ever tell anyone bc that'd be uncool. Imagine if it slips one day tho, Crispin asks him abt he Torchic and Drayton says it's doing okay, calling the Torchic by the lil nickname he gave him, and he just suddenly stops, red faced, and Crispin has like stars in his eyes going >:0!!! Hahahah
Like he'd be so so hyped fr, hugging Drayton going, "aww you do love him! And even me!!" And Dray's just trying to be so cool abt it, and just pats Crispin's back going yeah yeah he does care all that. Bet he loves Crispin's hugs too, he will never admit it tho, but whenever Crispin sees him, he'd immediately run up and hug him. Everyone's like, surprised, even their friends, bc wow Drayton's suddenly letting someone hug him. But it's just soft your honour, that Drayton opens up to Crispin more than anyone, even Iris was happy he has someone who he can share his secrets w, and even invite over the house, it's always nice to see her brother vibing w his friends
Your honour Drayton would be so soft w him, a special soft spot for him like how Iris is w Hilbert bc they're also besties your honour. Lmfao imagine them fighting who has the better best friend bc I know they would they're siblings of fucking course they would
Just "my best bro's cool, he makes me food"
"yeah, well, my own bestie is cool too, he's a champion like me"
"you always say that"
"because it's true, he's the best"
"you both jumped from Village Bridge one time"
"Hilda said if we did a Swanna dive it'd hurt less and we were fourteen that time what did you expect—"
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soleilnomoon · 10 months
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Well done on the milestone and this event looks fun! I hope I did this right..Can I please have Marco (One Piece) with female bodied he/him pronouns or a gn reader caramel + oatmeal raisen cookie.Thank you so much <3<3<3
omg thank u so much 😊💛 so sorry this took me forever 😭 but it's finally here. also i love marco so much, like a very normal amount of course.
1.5k words, fem bodied reader (he/him pronouns), nsfw, 18+ mdni, tiny bit of angst lite and smut; feat. footjob, flirting, marco being in denial and a lil oblivious and grumpy bc i love that journey for him, also a slightly bratty reader who has zero self preservation, reader really shot his shot and i'm not mad at that, thatch makes a cameo! (if u see spelling/grammar mistakes, no u didn't :D)
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“and why? / appetite— / and why? / it is always only appetite.” —michael bazzett
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you don’t exactly know how or why, but you’ve somehow pissed marco off. it started earlier in the week when you accidentally brushed up against him, much closer than you should have — if anything, there was no reason for you to try and squeeze by when you could’ve walked around. he eyed you carefully, mouth set in a straight line, and all you did was wave him off as if you hadn’t just set his entire day off. you turned around once to gauge his reaction, but he'd already turned away to head in the opposite direction.
a frown settles on your lips at that, but you don’t give up; if anything, you’re just a little bit more determined to get under his skin — only a little bit, of course.
while you know you’re toeing a very dangerous line, there’s a thrill that passes through you recklessly every time he gets annoyed with you. he has such an expressive and handsome face, one that you admire from afar whenever you can. you’re not subtle, even though you think you are — almost everyone can see how much you’re into marco, and while he can also see that too, he chalks it up to an impetuous infatuation that’ll blow over shortly.
besides, he doesn’t have the luxury to be distracted by anything now.
you start volunteering to help marco out throughout the day, but he denies your request every single time. at first you laugh, but after the tenth time you huff and complain until he acquiesces.
“fine,” marco says with sigh, resigned to following your whims again; you try not to look too pleased with yourself, and marco has the foresight to add in a stern, commanding voice, “behave.”
blinking up at him, your lips stretch into a slow, seemingly innocent smile. “of course,” you say softly, “i only want to help, honest.” and it’s true — partially.
marco makes it a point to not stay alone with you for longer than necessary, because you’re much too touchy and he only has so much patience left within him. which is what you’re aiming for — decimating the remnants of his sanity so he can just obsessively focus on you for a while.
was that too much to ask?
probably.
when marco regales his woes to thatch, the latter laughs so hard he cries. marco rolls his eyes and smacks his arm playfully, “it’s not funny.”
more tears roll down thatch’s face and he presses his lips together but when he sees how distraught marco is, he starts laughing all over again. so much for going to friends for advice. thatch only quiets down when he sees just how serious marco is; clearing his throat, he motions for his friend to sit down for a drink. it’s early in the afternoon, but pirates don’t really have a set drinking schedule, now, do they?
“okay, okay, i’m sorry.” and he meant it, marco could tell by the sincerity in his tone and the way his features softened as he smiled back at his friend. “the solution is simple, because it’s obvious what the issue is between you and him.”
jaw clenched, marco tilts his head and motions with his hand. “please, elaborate.” thatch grins like a fool and downs the shot before getting up to clap a hand on marco’s shoulder.
“you’ll just need to figure it out yourself.”
marco frowns at that, not liking that thatch was right again; still, it doesn’t quell the irritation that bubbles inside of him at the answer. he hates how much you consume his thoughts because it makes absolutely no sense. he’s never had this happen to him before, so he’s out of his element and it unnerves him greatly; maybe that’s why whenever you flirt with him it puts him out of sorts.
not that any of that would matter to you if he confessed any of that.
you find him in his office sitting back in a chair, powerful arms folded against his chest, with his eyes closed. you’re quite sure he’s not sleeping, but then again with marco anything is possible. certain thoughts pestered him most of the afternoon, well into the evening. he hears you enter, despite your best attempts at walking quietly.
he doesn’t say anything and watches you walk towards the table in front of him. it’s pure adrenaline that pushes you to hop onto the table with ease, much to marco’s confusion.
“what are you—”
his mouth snaps shut when you kick off your shoes and stretch your leg out, rubbing your foot against his bulge. marco looks at your sharply, amazed at your audacity and perseverance. whatever argument that was prepared to launch itself from the depths of his chest remains at the back of his throat when you add a bit of pressure with your foot.
if there was ever a day for his body to betray him, today was it.
you smile impishly, leaning back on your hands as you watch him; you know he wants to ask you about fifty questions, so you shrug noncommittally, voice light and teasing when you say, “i’m helping you relax.”
he highly doubts that’s the case at all.
again, he reminds you to behave, and also adds, “i know what you’re doing.” even though that’s not quite true, is it? he only has half of an idea, but it doesn’t matter; your intent is obvious, and while he doesn’t want to succumb to this feeling just yet he’s powerless to stop it now. not when his cock grows stiff and presses painfully against the front of his pants; not when you keep looking at him like he’s all you ever think about; and not when your breathing stills, as if the very act of arousing him also arouses you.
the flush on your face when you rub your foot along the length of his cock, admiring the shape even through the fabric of his clothes. you just might kill him tonight with your actions, but maybe luck will be on his side.
without thinking twice, marco pulls you on top of him, the heat from his hands searing you through your clothes as he palms you openly. you press against him, chest heaving a bit as you kiss him. you sling an arm around his shoulder as you swirl your tongue around his, the heat from your bodies a stifling affair, but you suffer through it happily.
you buck your hips against marco’s before you reach between you and unzip his pants. his cock is longer than you imagined, but he’s always been someone full of surprises. you pull away so you can stroke him; your hand is soft against his skin, too soft. his restraint is practically nonexistent when he speaks again.
“strip.”
if you weren’t so aroused, you’d tease him more — but you have a feeling that if you do too much, it might not work out in your favor. although, if you asked him, he’d tell you that you’re wrong about that.
his eyes take in your body, the soft curves, round breasts, and shapely thighs. he feels a bit of pre-cum slide down the head of his cock and he groans softly, reminding himself to keep it together.
you’re in a similar predicament, hands trembling as you try to calm yourself; you had the upper hand for so long, but now you feel like he’s somehow reversed everything. you climb back onto his lap and rub your pussy along his cock; he kisses you again, hands roaming down the curve of your back and grabbing onto your ass playfully.
you moan against his lips, arousal clinging to your folds every time you roll your hips. marco licks along the length of your neck before biting your skin; you let out a soft whine, hips jerking forward, thighs shaking as you cling onto him. he smiles against your skin and guides his cock to your entrance; he buries most of his length inside of you when the thrusts the first time. you don’t expect any sort of soft intimacy between you, but you also didn’t expect him to fuck you like that.
marco’s hips snap upwards and he plunges his cock inside of you, deep and hard. you moan loudly as you rock your hips against him, your cunt sliding up and down his length quickly. he flicks his tongue against your hardened nipple, swirling and sucking, making your head spin. you call his name out repeatedly, voice cracking when he grabs your hips tightly as his strokes get messy and fevered.
you feel a little delirious now, skin aflame every time you kiss him. he whispers filthy promises against your lips, ones that make you blush more than necessary. you bounce on him wildly, nails scratching at the back of his neck. the pain is barely noticeable, but he angles his hips differently, reaches a spot so deep it has you in a state of euphoria.
the orgasm is more intense than you thought it’d be. marco works you through it, his own finding him as he fucked you harder. once you catch your breath, you notice how sore your thighs are and how sticky your skin is. he lets out a satisfied groan and looks at you curiously.
“are you going to stop teasing me?”
you almost laugh at the question, but refrain, opting to smile coyly instead. what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.
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majormeilani · 1 year
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how i think the ahit cast would react to hugs or being hugged by someone bc i don't know i was thinking about it. it's also kinda sweet to me. plus it's fun to consider character personalities and what they would do in situations. i only really did the major characters so sorry if i left some out 😔 lol.
conductor - at first he would freeze up and be unsure of what to do. he would be tense in another's arms and might even consider pushing whoever is holding him away but instead he'd find himself curling into the embrace and eventually holding whoever was hugging him in his arms. he wouldn't say anything but they would know wordlessly that he's probably been dying for a hug.
dj grooves - he is very physically affectionate so upon being hugged, he would reciprocate immediately. he's the type to also "cuddle into a hug" by like hugging whoever really close to him or smushing his cheek onto them. sometimes if the one hugging him is smaller than him, he will also scoop them up in his arms. he also is the type to rub gently on someone's back in an embrace, especially in situations where he's comforting them.
snatcher - upon being hugged initially, he would question why he's being hugged. he'd scoff and act annoyed at the prospect, might nudge the other away even depending on the situation. usually he protests vocally to the affection but honestly he wouldn't do much of anything to separate himself from being hugged and he often """"reluctantly"""" hugs back. usually when being embraced, he's also the one to still be holding on when let go but when that is mentioned to him he pretends that it didn't happen. of course though, he can't deny he probably needed that hug.
queen vanessa - it's hard to get close to her for many reasons, but if someone manages to get close enough to her and give her a hug, she might be slightly stunned and confused. but then her eyes might well with tears and she would collapse into the hug with a sob, being reminded of the times when her prince used to hug her. instead of being cold, as most would suspect, in a hug she would be strangely…. warm. hm.
cooking cat - cooking cat would initially seem rather surprised someone is giving her a hug but melt into the embrace immediately. she's the type to give firm, warm, comforting hugs. when hugging her it feels like home and safety, especially bc she will even purr. she sometimes will even cradle whomever in her arms too and knows just what to say to help someone feel better if they are upset.
the empress - hugging her would be a very risky thing to do-- but you'd be surprised with how she reacts to one. initially, she would be tense in someone's arms, probably on guard wondering what they might be trying do to her. she would assess whether the situation calls for action and might even consider threatening to be released from the embrace. but she would square her ears and stand still for a moment in the hug before asking to be let go in a low, somewhat calm tone. in rare cases, she finds herself begrudgingly reciprocating it with what sounds like an annoyed sigh but most can swear you'd hear her purring softly.
mafia boss - depending on whether we are talking before or after the jar incident he will probably respond differently:
in his initial form, mafia boss is the type to upon being given a hug get rather Loud about it. in most cases, he's probably the type to immediately shove away someone who is giving him affection, claiming loudly he doesn't need or want a hug. though when he's alright with being given one, he's rather rough when reciprocating, usually hugging back rather tightly and with one arm and a loud guffaw. he can't be normal about affection, i think.
tho following the jar incident, he's absolutely fuming 99.9% of the time so any affection he's given he loudly proclaims to be released from before promptly dissolving into tears in whomever's arms because he misses being able to hug and be hugged, actually.
mafia goons - these knuckleheads are actually big softies inside. i think most of them would be like "mafia doesn't quite understand what you are doing but mafia kinda likes it" they would feign ignorance about what a hug is but in the case they reciprocate one, the hugs they give are rather "bone crushing" if you will. though they don't really mean harm when specifically giving a hug but they also don't know how to express affection normally LOL.
alpine goats - the alpine goats are a unique case. since they are so large, most hugs from someone would probably be given to their legs or arms. at first, they would probably sniff at whoever is hugging them to assess what is happening or stare at them in a rather looming matter. once they realize that it is a hug they're being given, they would snort softly and pat the one hugging them very gently with their free hoof. for creatures so big i imagine that they are very gentle when it comes to affection, especially to those smaller than them.
nomads - the nomads are ones to excitedly embrace others. i think they're a very welcoming folk, always ready to make a new friend or be there for one another. if someone else tried to hug one, they would probably beat them to the punch and hug them first. they tend to be the type to also nuzzle too when giving hugs.
walrus captain - walrus captain would be the type to not really notice that he's being hugged at first. he might mutter something like "get back to work, pup" mistaking it for one of the seals being goofy again. but once he realizes it's not one of them, he would raise a brow slightly at what is happening. but he'd sigh a smokey sigh and pat the one hugging him gently on the head and there would see a hint of a smile on his face, though brief.
seal crew - the seals LOVE to be hugged and would probably curl up in the arms of who is hugging them and say affectionate things like "i wuv u too!" and "tank you fow the hug! i wuv hugs!" they tend to cling as well so all must be prepared for carrying a seal around for the next half hour.
mustache girl - mu tends to be aversed to affection at most times, not really trusting others to get too close to her. but if she is hugged, she will bury herself against the one hugging her and may even tear up a little. poor girl probably needs more hugs than anyone else.
bow kid - when bow is given a hug, she is the type to smile and hug someone back immediately. she tends to also be the type to play with or ruffle the hair/fur/feathers/ect. of who she is hugging as a way to show additional affection. bow will also lay her head or chin on someone's shoulder too when hugged. she also tends to be the type to cling onto others when hugging, sometimes having to be pulled off LOL.
hat kid - when hattie gets a hug, she's similar to bow in how she can be the type to cling a little. but sometimes she's the type to give a quick hug and dash off because she's got a lot to do! but of course, sometimes she lingers in a hug, especially if it's from someone she cares a lot about or if she's feeling really upset.
yey.
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Hi there, Laura! Hope you are doing well and enjoying the holiday season. You don't have answer this ask, but after reading your thoughts on the new chapter, I just wanted to share that you're not alone in feeling frustrated with the BC manga right now. I have certainly been feeling the same way myself. I actually took a break from it for a while earlier this year (still kept up with the spoilers & such but didn't read week to week) partially due to my poor health and mostly because I was feeling frustrated & hoping it would keep my attention better if/when the pacing evened out. Unfortunately, the pacing issues seem to be persisting. Being a bit of a hobbyist writer myself I recognize that it can be very difficult to keep a consistent pace throughout a story especially a very long one so I try to be forgiving of that in works, especially when they are ongoing & published serially (like a manga). I think in this particular case there is just a big contrast between the pacing of previous arcs (i.e. Elf Reincarnation) and this one, and the added pressure of it being the final arc which draws more attention to the pacing here.
I liked what you said in an answer to another ask about how not every series can have "ups" all the time. I absolutely agree and would even go so far as to say that one of the things that was so special about BC and what I loved about it so much was how Tabata filled those downtimes and slower paced moments with really compelling characters & their dynamics with one another. And that's really what I feel I have been missing from the series lately. It sometimes feels like it's moving so quickly that all of these wonderful characters and storylines I came to love as the story unfolded have had to be pushed aside in favor of these epic battle sequences. They're great, of course, but it's not really why I've connected with this story and stuck with it for so long. But I realize that the target audience (at least) is probably connecting with this series for the epic adventure story and battle sequences. My cousin (who recommended BC to me in the first place), for instance, is 100% there for the epic battle sequences and doesn't care all that much about the character development and the little side people (i.e. he's been into BC far longer than I have and I've had to remind him multiple times who Langris even is lol. Needless to say, he'd be shocked to know I've written thousands upon thousands of words just about him and very few words about any battles). I love my cousin & will forever be grateful that he introduced me to such an incredible story that we both adore, but there is no denying that we love it for completely different reasons. And after reading what you shared about your frustrations, I wondered if perhaps you are a little more like me and missing those smaller character interactions and worrying that all these wonderful characters (whether with big roles or small roles in the story) that made BC so special will get their arcs wrapped up in a satisfying way.
When a story starts to move this quickly from one fight sequence to the next in the final battle, it can start to feel like all the characters' intrapersonal conflicts are just getting swept up into the fray, and for a story like BC that always did such an incredible job of giving *every* character their own arc, motivations, and really their own "moment"--it can feel a bit worrying, disappointing, and, yes, frustrating to feel like they aren't getting their moments when they really matter and when it's their last chance to get them. Yes, this is the end of the story of Black Clover but what's so special about the story of Black Clover is that it's not only Asta's story or Yuno's story...it's *everyone's* story. There are B-plots, C-plots, D-plots, all the way to Z-plots. Each and every one of these subplots--these stories and the characters they affect--deserves an ending, and I think there is frustration that sets in in knowing that unless the pacing of the story as it is now drastically changes there will not be room for closure for all (and possibly even most) of these subplots and supporting characters that we've come to know, love, & appreciate.
All of that said, it's still a work in progress. I don't pretend to know what Tabata has planned & I'll reserve judgment until the end. Truthfully, no matter how it ends I will be forever grateful for a wonderful story & amazing characters that I really connected with. I personally don't feel that what has been written is bad, but I will admit constructively that I do feel a little disappointed and am finding it harder to keep my interest with it as time goes on. To me, with these rushed battle sequences, it's almost like it's losing some of that magic (no pun intended) that made it special and different from every other battle epic shounen. I believe that in what it set out to do as a battle epic, it has succeeded and continues to succeed even now as it nears its conclusion, but it went above & beyond that in what it did with its characters and that's where it feels to be falling a little short recently. But again, I'll admit, I think that has more to do with the fact I'm the oddball that was never really there for the battles in the first place, so I'm not sure I can really speak to the "good" or "bad" of the writing, since in a way I feel like it's not being written for *me* because I'm not the target audience, if that makes sense?
I was curious of your thoughts on this (and hope my ramblings weren't too incoherent) so I thought I'd send an ask in case you wanted to weigh in. But please don't feel obligated. Thank you & Cheers, dear!! 💖
Hiya Acacia! I hope that you're well too!!
Tbh, I hadn't thought about BC being a "battle anime" per se, because though there were a lot of battles in the beginning, it was well balanced with the prose, and the battles advanced the plot. (Granted that the battles do advance the plot as well, but they feel relatively meaningless if there's no connection from the reader to the story itself on an emotional level. In my opinion) But we have very similar thoughts about the issue with pacing indeed. To me, it almost feels like Tabs deemed all the necessary characterization to be done, and now he'll just cut to the chase and "hack & slash". Or then, like any writer, he has scenes where he just really wants to get to. And the pacing suffers because of it.
If it was just a few chapters of battles, like... let's say 5 in a row in between some proper character interactions and story arcs where we can learn about the world and the lore, then I wouldn't mind. But because it feels like we've gotten a year of nothing but battle battle battle, it got to me. Luckily there's fanfic and other lil' projects in the meantime to keep one entertained.
I also didn't think about what exactly is the target audience here, because the story started as more character and story centric with some battle here and there, I probably thought the story to be targeted to people who enjoy action and adventure, which would include more than just fights.
But also, maybe this is like the Royal Knights arc (which I forget half the time). That was also very battle centric, but it was building up to something more.
Now, I was lucky enough to be able to fast forward the Royal Knights arc, by going as far as to skip some episodes because it didn't appeal to me and seemed to have minimal contribution to the plot as a whole in my opinion, but now I'm experiencing it in real time so to say.
This doesn't mean that I would dislike BC. I'm not going to say that "because of this BC is bad", because it's not. It's going through a slow season.
I certainly can't blame you for taking a break. I'm on a semi-break myself due to ... well, school. I might have a little more time next semester, but I can't say for sure, because the courses of next semester are supposed to be the toughest ones during the first 4 years. So, I'll be around, but probably not as vocal. And I suppose I'll feel less like I'd need to stay on top of the plot on a weekly basis, because Tabs has moved to the once every 6 months type of an arrangement.
And there has to be more than 2 chapters still to come
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These don't even include chapter 369's MagLuck VS. Lucius clone
This short text gives hope of at least 5 chapters still to come, all probably long ones. However, I want to believe that since they're "major fights" in which the MagLuck team up wasn't counted (meaning that chapter 369's battle isn't considered as "major"), these 4 battles will probably take more than 1 battle/chapter.
Also.... when you look at the colour page, you see at least five things:
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Licita, William, Ichika, Nacht and Adrammelech
Nacht is probably going to tie in on the Yami VS. Morgen battle, and Ichika will meet up with her brother (dare I speculate a team up as well), with a high potential for some sibling reconciliation, because the ground work for it has been set.
Adra is the big question mark, because what exactly are they up to, is up for a debate. But because they are there, and Tabs hasn't placed people on coloured pages without a reason until now, there's potential for something more.
However, the thing that draws attention most, to me, as someone who wants more lore and plot, are Lichita and William.
The image of Lichita looks like it's from a memory, and considering how Asta's grimoire, with Liebe inside, somehow wound up to the grimoire tower, behind a brick on the outer wall, after Lichita died, gives good reason to wish for a flash back, maybe even a small story that takes place in the past. Not just in memories, because I doubt that Liebe can actually remember events of the grimoire in that manner.
And William's picture looks like it's a memory, to me, as well. For now, we're under the impression that William is... gathering himself after, maybe, losing a limb (we've been wrong about these before with Mereo, so I'm not saying that he actually has lost one), but he might feel like he needs to still atone himself somehow. Maybe he's reminiscing to something in his past, after meeting with Julius. That would be plot relevant in more ways than one, and could explain why Will is there, looking so solemn.
So, to me, after some contemplation, I think that we're going to mimic the elf arc, and the Final Arc is only now starting with chapter 370. Things up until now have just been the "Royal Knights Arc" of the Final Arc.
Idk, that's just what I think atm
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clambuoyance · 2 years
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can i *coughs* can i hear more about this sb and robin love square??
maybe i should make a tag for it to group all the posts i make about it but uhhh
its basically just me playing with the lovesquare pairings and taking moments from the mlb show and applying timkon to it, like the balcony scene. its not a super detailed au or whatever.
one of the biggest things i wished the show did was explore how the different dynamics change and kind of merge into one as they get to know each other better, or how they could potentially reverse dynamics so i imagine smth like that happening w this au i guess
i guess the first one would be called superrobin? superboy and robin meet each other as heroes and become a team, and its pretty much the same as ladynoir in the show. flirting and bantering, unending trust and loyalty and adoration, but the secret identities keep them a hair apart. in the comics, SB takes a bit to come around but i do think he's always admired and cared about robin's opinion of him, and then the whole angst trust issue thing ladynoir got going on in s4 is sort of like tim and kon in the era of comics where kon had trouble trusting tim bc tim wouldnt reveal his name and was secretive.
i haven't seen the last eps of s4 but im pretty sure there's a whole thing where mari thinks felix is adrien and he gets annoyed/jealous? yeah im imagining that but with Match posing as Kon and kon being annoyed lol
then there's timkon, which i guess would be their civilian pairing? conner at first thinks tim is stuck up and acts like he's above it all, which is taken from their early dynamic in the comics and i just applied it to the civilian side. meanwhile tim is trying to deny his feelings. you know how marinette is like a fashion designer or whatever? i think tim should be a photographer
then you have...robinkon? robkon? which is the equivalent to ladrien. i guess both would be very flustered but idk what else to say about this one
and finally supertim...or timSB idkkkk. the marichat equivalent where you have tim and superboy who have the least affectionate opinion of each other in this form, but have a cool opportunity to get to see the other side of their pal. like superboy gets to see tim when he's not robin and how he's just a Kid you know trying his best, and tim gets to see that superboy isn't always bombastic and obnoxious and can be quite sweet, helping him realize that SB is a pretty good hero and a cool guy. of course in this, superboy wouldn't know tim is robin, but then he'd be nicer to tim when he's conner now that he's more understanding. also that episode where chat has to be marinette's bodyguard and she tries to hide her teasing? or the balcony scene? i like imagining those with them lol
also im pretty sure theres a theory adrien is a sentimonster or clone thingy and kon is a clone soooooo theres that too
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thinkingjasico · 1 year
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what if when jason woke up on the bus with piper and leo the only memory he had was the name nico di angelo?
The first and second part of this post rewriting The Lost Hero, Son of Neptune, Mark of Athena and House of Hades are in this link <3
Making BoO in a new post bc that one was already a bit long. So shall we finally finish this rewriting HoH with BoO? Walk with me...
Nico has gone with Reyna and Coach Hedge to take the Athena Parthenos, and Jason is on the ship with the others nearing the end of the mission.
For jasico shippers BoO already starts with the iconic "gods...nico" which is already so gay that I don't even need to change it.
The book starts with Jason’s POV extremely worried about Nico and we're going to pretend here that his arc with his mother ended in a better way. Maybe with Jason pretending to accept her proposal and staying in the Odysseus' Palace with his mother to see what else he can find out about Gaia's plans. Piper and Annabeth manage to get away and get to the ship. The rest of the crew gets a little pissed at Jason and wants to leave, but Piper and Leo explain to everyone that they have to stay and wait, that Jason must have a plan and must not have really allied with Gaia. So Jason gets all the information they need and thinks he's gonna have to fly or something like that until he finds the ship because he thinks they must have gone and left him behind (the abandonment complex this boy has...) and then Jason manages to scape, but Michael Varus, Beryl and other soldiers intercept him, Jason denies his mother that same way but makes a whole speech, he takes the stab but manages to fly, almost falling, and get out of there. He thinks he won't be able to fly for much longer to find the Argo II and will fall into the sea and die. At that moment he sees the ship in the distance and thinks that it's the first time that people have not given up on him and abandoned him. When he arrives everyone helps him and Jason, almost fainting, says he doesn't believe they stayed there at the risk of being attacked and Hazel, who doubted Jason the most, says that of course they did because they are like a family now and you cant leave your family behind.
Meanwhile, Nico is starting to feel weak from the shadow travel. Little by little he gets closer to Reyna and trusts her more. Nico remembers how Jason always said that when Nico felt ready to open up to friendships he would see how many people would like to get to know him better, not just Jason and Hazel. Nico found it hard to believe because he'd had a small crush on Percy when he was younger, which he saw would come to nothing when he found out Percy liked Annabeth, and for a long time Nico thought he wasn't worthy of love at all and felt guilty about his feelings for boys. His mother died, his sister too, his first crush not only didn't feel the same way, but he often actually seemed to hate Nico… and then when Nico allowed himself to start believing he could be loved by Hazel and Jason, if he actually felt the same for Nico—Jason was taken and placed as someone else's boyfriend. But little by little Nico begins to see that Reyna, like his sisters and Jason, doesn't expect anything from him. She doesn't want anything from him, except his friendship.
Gradually Nico talks a little with Reyna about Jason, but he talks about it like they're just friends and he's worried about Jason because he's feeling something strange. Reyna obviously realizes that it's not just friendship, as she always suspected, and tells Nico to try to get in touch with Jason. So Nico manipulates his dreams to get into Jason's. It's difficult because Jason doesn't have the preparation or powers to control his own dreams. But when entering Jason's dreams, Nico can feel that he is dying. Nico wakes up startled but before he can tell Reyna that they need to IM the Argo II— they are attacked.
Jason feels something strange when he wakes up, almost as if he's had a vivid dream—but stranger. He wakes up hearing Nico's voice, but he's not there. Feeling his presence and hearing his footsteps... but Nico must already be on the other side of the continent about to make the jump across the Atlantic. Jason feels the ship rocking a lot and goes to the deck. He offers to go down with Percy and that's when Jason gets better and makes the promise of the shrines to the gods.
Nico is in Portugal, very weak and almost dying, when he sees his father and Hades says the "I want you to be an exception" (I have a post about this line here 🥺) and Nico decides to IM Jason.
He's in the infirmary tending to some injuries with Piper when Nico appears nearby. Piper is startled and at least three light bulbs explode when Jason sees Nico there.
"Sorry I didn't mean to appear out of the blue but this thing doesn't have a ringtone or anything." Nico is a little embarrassed because Jason had his shirt up for Piper to bandage his abdomen. Jason drops his shirt in the same second.
"No, dont worry about it." He gets closer to the IM. "Did something happen? Are you okay? Reyna? Coach?"
Nico gives a small smile because that is how Jason is. He is the one in the infirmary tending to injuries, and Nico felt he was on the verge of death— but there he is worried about others.
"We are all fine."
"You don't look fine." Nico really is very thin, sunken-eyed and clearly weak.
"Look who's talking. I felt a strange thing as if you were dying, but I guess at least that didn't happen, right?"
Jason smiles. "No. I'm very much alive."
"That's great." Nico wants to look at him whole, ask more, tell about his conversation with his father, tell him about getting closer to Reyna. Tell Jason how every time he walks into the void filled with emptiness and he has to focus on the next destination, his mind betrays him and thinks about Jason and he almost ends up on the Argo II again with Reyna, Hedge and the Athena Parthenos in Jason's room. And Jason looks at him like he also has a million things to say.
Piper clears her throat and they both snap out of their trance and look at her. "I think your bandage is fine for now, Jason." She gathers a few things and throws them away. "I'll give you a second. Nico, please say hi to Reyna for me." And she leaves.
Jason turns back to Nico rather embarrassed.
"I've been thinking—"
"I wanted to know if—"
They speak at the same time.
Jason chuckles. "You go first."
Nico nods and tries to muster up the courage but can't look at Jason, so he looks down. "I've been thinking about not going to the Underworld if this war ends well for us."
"Really?!" Nico looks up and Jason has wide eyes and a bright smile.
"Really." Nico tries not to smile too, and he doesn't know why it's so hard to control his smile every time he's with Jason even if it's an IM being countries away from each other. But whenever he sees him, the skeleton butterflies in Nico's stomach want to come back to life. It's really irritating.
"And what made you change your mind?" Jason asks and Nico notice he's trying his best to control his smile. "If I may ask."
Nico shakes his head and looks away for a second to control his involuntary blushing. "Many things." Nico turns back to Jason. "Let's say one day a very annoyingly smart boy told me that it's possible to choose your family and have people in your life who care about you and love you for who you are and who make you want to choose to live and fight for those people. And I've been starting to think this might be true."
Jason's eyes that had previously been a little gray from the possible pain of his injuries, gleamed again as Nico saw it happen every time they were together. "I'm glad to hear that. I wonder if this smart boy is among those people."
Nico rolls his eyes but a small smile tugs at the tip of his lips. "Annoyingly smart, don't forget."
Jason nods, feigning seriousness. "Of course."
Nico shakes his head and hears Reyna calling to him in the distance. He looks for where her voice is coming from and sees that Reyna and Hedge are running to him.
"Holy crap." Nico says scared.
"Nico what..." Jason asks worriedly.
Nico doesn't even turn to him. "I have to go." Nico runs his hand over the message and it disappears.
At that moment they are attacked by the werewolves and Nico gets seriously injured. They make the next jump to escape and meet with the Hunters and Amazons (which means, Thalia). We're in Reyna's POV so she's shocked that Thalia is Jason's sister and wonders how Nico will react. Nico wakes up with the note that the hunters took Reyna and he gets mad. He goes out and buys the classic palm tree shirt and then meets Thalia briefly. She says that Reyna didn't know much about how Jason is but as Nico stayed longer on the ship she asks him if he doesn't know anything else, Nico is kind of embarrassed and Thalia doesn't understand why, so he just says that Jason was injured but that he seems to be recovering well. Nico tells Thalia about his theory about the end of the prophecy and Thalia gets serious and thoughtful, and says she hopes Nico is wrong, but they both know he's not.
With great difficulty they make the next jump and Nico soon finds Bryce.
On Jason's side and the Argo II, they are sure they need the doctor's cure or Jason or Leo will die at the end of the prophecy. Jason thinks it's okay if he has to die, as long as he at least gets to see Nico one last time, if only to tell him not to give up on his life and not go to the Underworld.
After killing Bryce in the most sinister way possible, Nico passes out and is unconscious for days. When he wakes up he tells Reyna and Hedge everything. Everything about him, about Jason... He can't look at them and really want to cry.
"It would be weird being two guys together. But it makes it even worse that Jason is…well, Jason, and I am me."
"Kid, I don't understand." The coach says. "You demigods complicate things too much. What would be wrong with two men together? It's natural for me as men and women, satyrs and nymphs…" Nico looks at them a little confused but hopeful. Reyna nods with a smile and Nico with teary eyes smiles weakly. "And another thing, the Grace boy is quite annoying but he's a good figther, you're the same. If he likes you and you like him, I don't know what could stop you." Nico and Reyna laugh a little.
Coach says he'll get things ready for them to go and Reyna stays behind to talk to Nico.
Nico looks at her embarrassed. "I know you liked him, I don't want to..."
Reyna holds up a hand, silencing Nico. "Nico I didn't like Jason— I liked the idea of him. The son of Jupiter, praetor by my side, very powerful demigod and a soldier like no other. I thought I needed to be with a boy like that, and I don't know, maybe I was wrong about that in many ways." Nico frowns in confusion and Reyna smiles. "You trusted me, and I'm grateful for that. After this madness is over and I can think about myself instead of a war, maybe I can understand what it was I had for Percy and Jason, and why that happened. Then I'll talk to you about it. But just know that you and Jason are two of the demigods who most deserve a happy life after all you've been through." She places her hand on Nico's shoulder and he was still processing the 'Percy' part of what she said. "We can die at any moment, you more than anyone knows that— Will you really let fear stop you from being happy and making him happy?"
Back to Jason.
They got the doctor's cure and are reaching Athens. Jason and Hazel tried to contact Nico again but couldn't, and the two are anxious and wondering if Nico died in that attack. Hazel says he's not dead, that she would know if he was, but they are still afraid.
Hazel and Jason are on the deck waiting for the others to finish putting on their armor. They are looking at the blue sea and Athens approaching at every second.
"I wish I had spoken to him one more time." Hazel says and Jason looks at her. "In case we don't make it out of here."
"We're going to get out of here. This is just the beginning of the battle, we still have Gaia ahead of us." Hazel nods and looks at him very seriously.
"I know you guys don't talk about it with others. But back at Camp Jupiter I knew you guys spent all day together while I did my training." Jason’s eyes wide a little. "Every night I saw Nico arrive at the barracks with a silly smile on his face that didn't match his sadness and distance of the rest of the time. He didn't even have to tell me much other than silence when I asked if he liked you for me to understand everything."
Jason couldn't help but smile a little. "I've been remembering more and more things. Like coming home with a silly smile too." Hazel chuckles but Jason's smile fades little.
"What is it?"
Jason shakes his head. "I don't know. It's weird that I didn't have my memories altered to think that all of this happened between Piper and I, like it was for her. And I feel guilty about that. I know it's crazy—"
"Jason you shouldn't feel guilty about losing your memories but not having false memories of her. It was bad enough for you to forget your life and who you are. It's Juno's fault that this happened to you guys, not yours."
"I know, it's just..." Jason lets out a weary breath and looks back at Piper helping Annabeth with her armor. "I know it was hard for her, and I can't help but blame myself. And at the same time I don't understand why Juno tortured her with these false memories and left Nico's name in my head and didn't put Piper in my memories of him." He looks at Hazel who seems to be paying close attention to the matter.
"Mist is complicated Jason. Maybe even being a goddess Juno didn't have full mastery of it."
Jason nods thoughtfully and looks away and now Athens is even closer. Jason’s heart races. "Hazel, please promise me something."
She nods. "Sure, what is it?"
Jason looks at her. "Maybe at the end of the mission I will die—" Hazel opens her mouth to speak but Jason continues. "I know we have the cure, but I've been thinking... We only have one cure, what if Leo and I die? I'd rather you use the cure on him." Hazel frowns. "And if that happens, I just want you to please promise me that you'll be with Nico, that even though he's on one side of the country at Camp Half-Blood and you're on the other at Camp Jupiter, that you'll be family to each other, and that he won't be alone."
Hazel smiles and takes his hands. "Nico may be on the other side of the planet and I will never abandon him. And you will not die, you'll also be with him and we'll all be a family." Jason looks down feeling his chest tighten. Nico could be in danger right now, maybe the seven won't even make it back to Camp Half-Blood no matter how much Jason tells Hazel they are. Maybe when Jason arrives Nico will be dead, maybe Jason will die in the end... it's a one in a million chance that this will have a happy ending.
Nico arrives at the camp and finds Will, Lou and Cecil. They go together to try to infiltrate the Roman army. And Nico realizes how little are their chances to survive this war.
The Argo II reach Athens and they fight the Giants alongside the gods. In the end Zeus blames Hera and Apollo, and Jason defends Apollo. They are heading towards the ship but Jason stops for a second beside Hera while Leo and the others prepare the ship. Hera looks confused by Jason's approach, but happy that he wants to talk to her after all.
"Weird that you being the goddess of marriage broke so many hearts with this plan of yours." Hera's smile disappears instantly.
"Jason..."
"With all due respect my lady, but I don't want to hear any excuses. The only thing I want to know is why did you leave him in my head? Why did you leave Nico's name and his presence in the memories I'd forgotten?"
Hera looks at him confused. "Jason I didn’t let him in your head." She rolls her eyes and huffs. "My original idea was for you to have your memories altered for the Aphodite's daughter and for Percy to have his memories altered for the praetor at Camp Jupiter. It was my chance to ruin the happiness of the two demigods I detest the most, Annabeth Chase and Nico di Angelo. But... I was doing it all alone, hidden, and in such a hurry... So whatever it was, you two managed not to let your memories be altered and remembered them."
Jason was too stunned to notice Aphrodite nearby until she giggled and Hera turned to her. "'Whatever it was' of course. Meddle in these matters and hurt my daughter... You have a lot more to worry about now than with Zeus."
Jason feels the fight coming in the air and leaves to join the others with his head spinning.
It wasn't Hera, it was him. All this time Jason was feeling weak and  vulnerable without his memories, but he wasn't weak. Jason managed to dodge a goddess messing with his mind.
Everyone gathered on the deck with Leo yelling for them to hold on tight. Jason saw his dad give the ship a slap. But Jason’s mind and heart were racing faster than the Argo II flying across europe and the Atlantic.
The Argo II arrives at the camp. The battle is insane on the ground and Leo yells for everyone to leave while the ship is on fire, Jason doesn't want to leave him but Leo tells him to go with Piper. None of them are happy to leave Leo behind but Jason grabs Piper and flies off into battle.
Here I don't even need to change the canon because, again, it was already very gay. "Jason’s heart lifted when he saw Nico di Angelo on the front lines with the Greeks, slashing his way through a crowd of two-headed men."
Jason goes down with Piper and Reyna goes to them and when Piper goes out with Reyna, Nico sees Jason and the world feels like slow motion. Nico runs towards him killing monsters along the way in a matter of seconds. Jason's heart will come out of his mouth, he's sure of it. All around him the world is ending and he can't seem to get rid the hum of his pounding pulse in his ear. Nico comes to him and Jason opens his mouth to say something— but Nico kisses him. Jason feels the heat of battle all around him, but it's nothing compared to his body on fire. A very loud thunder rumbles through the sky as Jason pulls Nico close to kiss him back "To storm or fire, the world must fall" and that was the storm. It had to be, because Jason felt he could decimate the world if he felt Nico's lips on his a second longer or if he pulled away.
Nico pulls back a few inches, breathing hard and his face is grimy from the battle.
"You're wearing glasses." Is the first thing he says and it makes Jason smile like an idiot.
"Nice shirt." Jason says and Nico smiles wryly as Jason remembers he loves to see.
Before they can have a conversation, battle calls out to them and they are attacked.
They pull back fighting the monsters. "Where are the others?" Nico asks.
"Everyone's here, just Leo..." Jason swipes at a monster that turns to dust and looks away at the sky. The ship is falling like a fireball.
"Shit." Nico says. "He'll survive, but just in case— for Leo!"
"For Leo!" Jason says and they find themselves fighting back to back against Gaia's army (this art has my heart already). And Jason's brain can assimilate his fight reflexes and still feel his lips tingling and Nico's taste in his mouth. At the same time that he is worried for his life and worried about his friends, Jason feels that his body is going to explode with happiness. The insane mixture of complex and intense feelings mixing like cosmic dust in a nebula getting so absurdly dense that it needs to become a star.
"Nico!" They listen and turn around. Will from cabin 7 is coming over there. He says something to Nico that Jason can't hear but Nico looks worried.
Nico nods to Will and turns to Jason. "I have to go." Jason is confused but nods. Nico pulls Jason down by his shirt and presses their lips together hard and fast. "Don't die." He says simply and Jason can't come up with anything smart enough to answer other than a simple,
"Yes sir."
Nico must have thought Jason is silly as usual, because he smiled and ran off in his red palm tree shirt.
The rest of the battle takes place as in the book. Octavian dies, Leo "dies". After it ends they are talking and Hazel tells them about Leo's plan. And Nico stay with Hazel that night because she's feeling guilty.
The next morning Jason shows up at Nico's door with his glasses crooked and messy hair, and here Nico reaches out and fixes his glasses. It's Nico's POV and he notices that Jason is clearly embarrassed and not knowing what to do.
"Hazel is still sleeping, can we go for a walk?" Jason nods and they walk off together slowly.
Jason asks how Nico felt about Leo's death and Nico says he felt as if he had died, but that he's not sure now. He feels that Leo did take the cure. Jason is all happy and goes to hug Nico but stops in the middle of the movement.
"Sorry, I don't…" he blushes and lowers his arms.
Nico frowns. "'You don't'... what?"
Jason puts his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. "I don't know if what happened yesterday in the battle was just because of the battle or if—"
Nico can't help but laugh a little. He looks around and there aren't many people around. It will be a while before Nico is ok with public displays of affection— other than in the middle of a battlefield, ofc.
He approaches and hugs Jason by the neck looking him in the eyes, and Jason's blue eyes, just like when Nico kissed him in the middle of the fight, now again have an intensity like lightning stirring inside his irises. Jason relaxes around Nico's arms in the same second. Nico opens his mouth to speak but hears Will calling him. He and Jason look and Will is close by with his hands on his hips.
"You can date later di Angelo. After crossing a continent and an ocean with a statue the size of a building you will stay in the infirmary at least for today." Nico huffs and rolls his eyes. "You can bring a companion." Will jokes and chuckles.
Jason pulls back a little and takes Nico's hand uncertainly, but Nico intertwines their fingers and Jason smiles a little. "I'll see if I'm needed around the Camp and talk to Chiron about quests to search for Leo, but I'll have lunch with you in the infirmary ok?" Nico nods, wanting to tell Will to get out of there because he wants to stay with Jason, help in the camp and look for Leo, he doesn't want to be stuck in an infirmary all day. Jason gives Nico a lingering kiss on the forehead that makes him close his eyes. Jason pulls back a little. "See you later." Nico nods a little lost and Jason gives one of the most charming smiles Nico has ever seen on any boy and walks away a little, but a simple kiss on the forehead caused Nico to be stuck on the ground and unable to move. Jason turns around walking backwards. "Just to know, how do you feel about surprises?"
"Public, no. Quests, no. Just you and me, yes."
Jason gives the same smile, nods and leaves. Nico stands there watching him walk away and feeling his heart melt to the floor like it's standing on quicksand.
"Hello? Do you want me to wait here all day while you daydream?" Will says reminding Nico that he was still there.
Well, Solace was annoying but maybe one more friend for Nico's friends list that now included Reyna, Hazel, Jason, maybe Percy and the others from the prophecy, wouldn't be that bad... Yeah, Nico was going to open up to accepting these people in his life. After all, he didn't regret opening up to Jason or Reyna.
Nico spends the morning and afternoon at the infirmary and Jason shows up with a chocolate brownie smuggled from the dining pavilion, and tells Nico that Chiron has approved that after the camp is fine, they all get together to make groups to search for Leo (as it should have been, honestly Riordan...). A nurse appears to bandage the werewolf injurie that Nico has and Jason sees it. Nico explains the story a little embarrassed, but Jason says.
"If you turned into half wolf then we would both be half wolves." Which makes Nico laugh, and everyone around looks at the son of Hades finding it strange to see him like that, but he ignores them.
Nico snaps his shirt collar back into place. "It's a very ugly scar."
Jason turns his head and shows where the bullet hit him. "I got this one."
Nico looks at him in disbelief and speaks quietly. "As if it doesn't make you even more cute."
Jason shakes his head, his ears a little red. "There are others, not so 'cute'." He gets more serious. "Inside and outside."
Nico understands immediately and his eyes water a little. "Inside and outside." He echoes.
Jason looks at him warily, knowing full well that Nico has literally been to hell and back, not to mention everything else. "They won't go away, never. But we can learn to live with them as best we can."
Nico nods and wipes his eyes quickly. "Do you think it's possible?"
Jason looks at him with affection and certainty. "I'm sure."
At night Jason shows up to pick up Nico with a mischievous smile.
"Should I be scared?" Nico asks walking beside Jason but doesn't have the courage to take his hand with so many people walking around the camp, and Jason notices and doesn't try anything.
"You'll like it, I'm sure."
They reach cabin 1 and go to the back, where there is no one around. Jason approaches and his eyes seem to glow in the dark, the air suddenly feels heavy for Nico with Jason's close proximity.
"May I?" Jason asks quietly and puts his hands close to Nico's waist but doesn't touch him. Nico nods, focused on the eyes next to him watching him as if they can see his soul. In the next second Nico feels Jason's hands gripping his waist and his feet floating off the floor. Nico for a second thinks it's in his head because that's how he feels, but then he notices they're actually flying slowly and he gasps and wraps his arms around Jason's neck and feels Jason chuckle. "I got you." Jason says and gives Nico a kiss on the head.
They reach the ceiling and Nico feels Jason release him carefully. "We're here." Nico let go of him and look around. On the roof of the cabin there is a blue towel, some candles and some bowls with food. In front of the towel is a telescope.
"What...?" Nico tries to say.
Jason takes his hand and begins to guide him to the towel. "Remember that at Camp Jupiter you said you liked to see the stars and I took you to the field of Mars at night to show off teaching you the names of stars and constellations?"
Nico chuckles. "I'm surprised you remember."
They stop in front of the telescope. "While we were building the ship I remembered that day, and it was that memory that made me think we were dating, because I got confused with what was a memory and what was my imagination." Nico looks at him confused and Jason blushes a little, and intertwines his fingers with Nico's. "That was the day I realized I like you. And I realized that because as much as i love to look at the starts, I wanted to spend the whole night looking at you." Jason gets closer and runs a finger caressing Nico's cheek near his eyes, making his breath quicken. "Because they are my favorite night sky." Jason kisses Nico's eye lightly and Nico's brain feels numb. Jason pulls back just a little and with difficulty Nico opens his eyes and tries to focus again. “That's why I got this telescope for you. I wasn't sure who you were, or if I'd ever meet you again, if we were really together, or if you felt the same way about me. But I knew I wanted to show you all the stars you wanted to see."
Nico couldn't wait any longer, and kissed Jason with the calm that their first kiss didn't have. The calm of knowing everything was fine now, and they could finally be each other's without fear, without rushing, without anything but them. But even calmly, with every second, every time Jason's tongue met his with the care of feeling each other like they needed to memorize every taste, or every time Nico sighed between the kiss or felt Jason's warm breath on his cheeks, or Jason's fingers roaming up his back, over his face, into his hair, and Nico pulling Jason closer by his shirt as if it were possible to be closer—Nico's heart raced and was filled with a certainty. And that certainty made him pull away for a second from Jason, just enough to look into his eyes.
"I love you." Nico said and Jason seemed lost, looking from one of Nico's eyes to the other as if to make sure this was real and not a made-up memory. Nico held tightly to the back of his head and looked sure at his favorite morning sky that always had a calm rain that could turn into an unsettling storm at any second. "I love you Jason Grace. And I'm not sure of anything else in the world like I'm sure I love you with every cell in my body."
And Nico saw around Jason's head little blue rays crackle like pure energy, and Jason was breathing hard and unevenly. "I love you." He said it with as much certainty as he could put into his voice. "And all I want is to be in your life in the way and for as long as you want me to."
Nico could have a goddess messing with his memories, go to Tartarus and back, or go through a thousand more wars if he had to, because those words would stay in his mind as a fresh memory and let him know that whatever happens and wherever he is— he has a home to return to, and now he was this home for Jason too.
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i-willstealyourtoes · 11 months
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HELLO HI YES REQS ARE OPEN SO NOW I’M GONNA SEND SOMETHING BC I LOVE UR CONTENT /GEN
can i get some headcanons for prisoner!hoxton with a guard!reader who doesn’t treat him like shit? like- they don’t take it far like smuggle stuff in or anything, but they also don’t beat him up at any chance given like the other guards. bonus points if hox flirts with them a lot because omg hot guy flirting with just a little fella??? real???
more bonus points if the reader gets really sad after hoxton’s breakout and quits their job. maybe like- they run into each other while hoxton is robbing a bank with the crew 👁👁
i might send another req, but i’ll wait til later bc i don’t want to bombard you with too many reqs at once
also have a song that i’ve been listening to on loop as a gift :D
Bussin song, solid 7.8/10 fr fr- Anyway here we go Hoxton and Bons for the win :]
Hoxton with (nice) guard crush
- Okay so I imagine when Hoxton was first caught, he was expecting every guard (and a lot of inmates) to not like him
- This was both due to his actions as a criminal, but also because he knew his personality can be a bit much for some people
- (Not that he was gonna change it anytime soon)
- Of course, that meant that when he was getting growls, swears and even punches thrown at him, he wasn't surprised
- Even when the guards threw him roughly to the ground and beat him a little too much than they should, he still wasn't surprised
- What did surprise him, was you (awwww)
- He first encountered you, you were just sitting, watching over the inmates when a guard bumped into him
- 'Watch where you're going.'
- 'Why don't you watch where you're going then, c-'
- Of course talking back would earn a hit for disobedience
- But when another joined in, that's when you walked in
- 'Hey, don't team up on him just for talking back. How sensitive are you guys? Keep it together.'
- They grumbled and groaned, but eventually walked away (your glares were enough to make them back off for now)
- As you helped him up, Hoxton couldn't help but notice how good-looking you were
- Obviously, he wasn't gonna start kissing you and proposing just because you did the bare-minimum any 'good' guard should do and you were pretty....
- But maybe a little 'thanks' would be okay?
- 'Cheers mate, what's your name?'
- '(Last name (L/n)). Just call me (L/n).'
- 'Alright, '(L/N)'. 'preciate you doing that. These other guards are a pain in the ass.'
- '....no offense.'
- You shrugged, it makes sense he hates guards anyway
- Anyway, after that Hoxton tended to stick a bit closer to you when he could
- I mean, for some reason the guards seemed to follow your instructions when you told them to back off, so..
- Obviously, he knew you couldn't protect him from getting shoved and stuff, but being with you certainly helped him
- If you ever picked up on it, he would just deny it (embarrassed much?)
- 'Why do you keep walking with me?'
- 'Pfft, what do you mean? I'm pretty sure you're following me, (L/n)...'
- 'Ohhhhh, I get it. You think that I can protect you? That's so funny...!'
- He would just scoff and fake a disgusted face and walk away, cursing you under his breath
- Even if you were right, he'd rather not admit it
- The following years would just be you two being a well-known duo, like partners in crime (not literally of course)
- You would constantly exchange funny jokes and quips
- Although you never returned the favour, he would ABSOLUTELY flirt with you
- Like maybe not all the time, just when it's you two
- If you're walking him to his cell for lights out, he would just say something a little... you know 😏
- 'Night, Hox. Hope you have shit dreams.' (/lh)
- 'Nah, I'll just dream of you.'
- (Omg kicking my feet and giggling rn)
- When he was broken out of the prison, it was admittedly a little sad for you since you never got to even say bye :(
- It was even worse when the prison decided to fire all their guards and hire new, 'better ones' so that there was a blank start
- But it did get better one day, when you were getting a coffee in the mall, when all of sudden-
- SMASH
- BANG BANG BANG
- Uh oh, robbery
- You better run- wait is that Hoxton???
- It actually seemed they were just going through the mall after robbing the bank nearby
- As they rushed past, one of them spilled your coffee
- And in that moment, you decided to say something that changed your life
- 'HEY, YOU SPILLED MY COFFEE ASSHOLE-'
- Luckily, Hoxton was the first to turn around, eyes widening as he noticed it was you
- 'Heh, well look who it is? Officer (L/n).. you aren't here to cuff me are you?'
- 'You wish. I actually got fired, so I can't anyway.'
- The van had arrived, and the others were calling for Hoxton to get in
- 'You looking for a job then?'
- 'Got one, actually. But it's boring.'
- As he stepped into the van, he held out a hand for you to take
- 'Wanna do something better then?'
- '.....you know what?'
- You took his hand, much to his glee
- '....sure, let's see where this goes, Hox.'
- (sorry I posted this without finishing it mb Crunchy)
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