me: *has ordered from starbucks by myself on many occasions and sometimes i even end up ordering for other people because i anticipated those situations ahead of time and was able to perform the task*
me: *thinks that walking into starbucks this time, my dad will order, and thus i don’t mentally prepare for it*
my dad: ok, ash, take my card and order
me, brain going immediately static: there’s coffee at home
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My mom died and I really need help
I made a longer post about it (which can be found as my pinned post on my blog) but these last 3 weeks have been hell for me.
My name is Yas, I’m a disabled biracial lesbian, and I had to drop out of school at 15 to start working and help support my disabled mom. I worked for almost a decade at a job that physically and mentally crippled and traumatized me bc that was the only way I would make enough to support my mother and I. I’m now 24 and she died without any warning on March 11th.
My girlfriend got outted, my cat couldn’t walk anymore so I had to put her to sleep, my mom died the next day and she was my best friend and the only family I had, and then my relatives abused and threatened me, then burglarized my and my moms apartment causing 5K worth of damage and stealing any valuables like furniture and tvs I could have sold to pay for my moms cremation. It’s been blow after blow after blow here. We were poor so we obviously didn’t have a life insurance policy or any kind of inheritance for this situation. I’m obviously not handling any of this well, and it’s really hard for me to even function enough to get anything done, and a huge part of this issue is money bc that’s what would pay off the cremation ($2200), the vandalism charges that the apartment is going to hold me liable for (upwards of $5K) and my credit card bills that I had for when I just could not work anymore and my savings ran out and I still had to pay medical bills and buy groceries for my mom (which is close to another $5K).
If you can spare anything, I would really appreciate it. My PayPal is @jessaminewaters. I have a CashApp, Venmo, and Zelle too if that’s easier, you can message me if you have any questions. Signal boosts are appreciated ❤️
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Finally redid my Stuff Shrine(TM) some stuff had to move to the next cube over. The bee had been in a lil bowl but I decided to put N's body parts in it instead (which is a horrifying sentence)
It's mostly pokemon stuff bc it's easy to acquire lmao.
There's a toy truck in the back that Aloe bought me. I put Rowlet and the minecraft flower in the back of it wljdksjd. I have a lil teal car my ex gave me somewhere but I misplaced it when we moved.
I also forgot to add my new mawile :V I'm too tired to go back upstairs and fix that rn lmao. I also have more minecraft figures in the hutch in the dining room that need to go up lol.
Now, who wants to take bets on how long N stays upright before the cats shake the cubes too much and he falls over?
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So yesterday my friend and I went on a day trip and we meant to go to this nature preserve but wildly overshot the exit so we ended up in New Hampshire and went to this random beach and it was amazing to get out of the house and just drive for two hours before wandering around a beach in below freezing weather and getting lobster rolls before driving home again.
It was great because we got to just chat while not being stuck at home and there’s a kind of freedom and joy to watching scenery whip past while you go 80mph on a lightly trafficked highway.
And to me it’s fascinating to talk to someone who actually wants to date and have a relationship when I have minimal interest in dating. I don’t feel a need for sexual intimacy and the theoretical idea of a relationship is nice. But when it comes to the cost/benefit analysis, my mild interest in being romantically/sexually involved with someone is totally outweighed by my apathy about putting in the effort to meet someone.
However! There is a part of me that wants an honest to god meet-cute. As in fucking fanfic levels of meet-cute. There is a basically zero chance of it happening and therefore I will likely remain single forever. (Also open to friend of a friend introductions but holy hell do I hate dating apps and I refuse to use them. I’d rather use a matchmaker than a dating app.)
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