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takeme-totheworld · 3 months
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Aziraphale and Forgiveness, Pt. 2: The Source of Salvation
This series is now complete! Here's where you can find the other parts.
Part 1 here. Part 3 here. Part 4 here.
(This post ended up being way longer than I intended, oopsie! And no fun GIFs to break it up this time. Hope you like reading lots of words!)
So why would Aziraphale, an angel who has not fallen despite bending/breaking the rules many times, have so much emotional baggage around the topic of forgiveness?
Some disclaimers:
Disclaimer 1: I've seen enough of tumblr already to know that "does Aziraphale really have religious trauma?/how much does it motivate his actions?" is the subject of Discourse around these parts. I don't want to have that argument here. Aziraphale's experience with Heaven has strong parallels to my personal religious history, and those specific parallels are what I'm here to talk about.
Disclaimer 2: I am not a bible scholar or religious historian, if I mention specific church doctrines or bible verses it's only to illustrate the experience of growing up in my church. My actual biblical/theological accuracy may be sloppy.
Disclaimer 3: I haven't read Good Omens the book. I know there are differences, but I'm not addressing them. All my thoughts are about show!Aziraphale and show!Heaven only.
Okay. Here goes.
The next point I want to make is that Aziraphale has spent his life inside a system that has weaponized the concept of forgiveness. Because Heaven, in the Good Omens universe, operates a lot like a particular flavor of toxic Christianity that I happen to be very familiar with.
In the version of Christianity I was raised with:
Your only purpose is to serve God's will. Our own needs, wants, goals, etc, were all understood to be secondary to that purpose.
The specter of eternal punishment is always present. Like any self-respecting Evangelical church, we believed that if you weren't "saved" before you died, you would go to Hell and be punished forever. How do you make sure you're saved? Well...
The rules are not clear or consistent, so you're always left guessing. We were a Protestant denomination, so a foundational doctrine was "sola scriptura." (We weren't fancy enough for the Latin, though, we just called ourselves "bible-based.") The basic idea is that the bible is the word of God, it's infallible, and it's the only authority we need to follow. But the bible is a cobbling-together of texts written thousands of years ago, that have been translated multiple times. It's not self-evident to a modern reader what any given passage means. It contains internal contradictions all over the place. So...the bible is the only authority we need to follow, but it's confusing and needs interpretation. Enter pastors and other church leaders to help us interpret. Only...they each have their own pre-existing biases and preferred scholarly interpretations, so even within the same church, different pastors might have different ideas about things.
So, to summarize: Follow what the bible says! Don't understand what it's telling you? Ask your pastor! Different pastors give different answers? Ugh, you're thinking about this too hard. Go pray about it or something. Just figure it out.
New ideas and experiences are, at best, begrudgingly tolerated. Because doing God's will is your only purpose, remember? And the Bible (and your pastor) are the source of the only wisdom you need to fulfill the only purpose you have. So really, you don't need anything outside what the church has to offer you and it's all a distraction anyway. (...okay, if you really must, here's a watered-down, church-approved version of the thing, now shut up.)
This isn't just the church being a buzzkill. It keeps you dependent on them and ignorant of the outside world to whatever extent they monitor and censor outside influences. My church was not even that extreme about this, relatively speaking, but it was still enough to profoundly impact me and leave me confused and floundering in the larger world after I left.
No matter how hard you try to measure up, you're ultimately at God's mercy. So you spend your life trying to follow a bunch of confusing, opaque rules in the hopes that you can be "saved" and avoid eternal punishment. But here's kicker: none of it truly matters anyway, because we were also taught that everyone falls short in the end and that the only real salvation comes from God forgiving you for your sins. All you really have to do to be saved is accept his free gift of forgiveness...by...believing the right things in the right way and praying the right prayers about it. And then spending the rest of your life still trying to follow all the convoluted rules, because doing so is proof that you were sincere...in your acceptance of God's forgiveness...which you accepted by following even more instructions regarding what to believe and how to pray to ensure that you were accepting it correctly.
How do you know if you've done any of this right? You never can, truly, until you die and find out. Because God's not actually talking to anyone. So in the end, no matter what you do, you end up in the same place: at the mercy of God, who decides whether you're forgiven or not.
If you're thinking that sounds like an incredibly confusing and exhausting way to grow up, you are correct! It also has a lot of parallels in Good Omens.
If you are an angel working for Heaven in the world of Good Omens:
Your only purpose is to serve God's will. This one is obvious. If you're an angel, it's literally the only thing you were created for.
The specter of eternal punishment is always present. The eternal punishment that can happen to an angel is falling. We know it's a punishment, because we know Crowley's fall was painful and because we can see that Hell is a miserable environment for the demons. This isn't The Good Place, where demons gleefully sit around eating snacks in conference rooms and brainstorming new fun ways to torture humans. Hell in Good Omens sucks for everyone there. And we can assume falling is meant to be permanent, because if it wasn't Crowley and Aziraphale wouldn't have been so gobsmacked by the Metatron's offer to restore Crowley to angelic status. Because there's no precedent for that. Crowley himself says that being a demon has automatically rendered him unforgivable. As far as anyone in this universe knows, "fallen" is a permanent state.
So how does an angel avoid eternal punishment? How do angels make sure they don't fall? Well...
The rules are not clear or consistent, so you're always left guessing. Was falling a one-and-done mass exile of everyone who rebelled, right after the war? The way both Heaven and Hell talk about the fall and the "casting out" of the demons would seem to suggest so. But fear of falling is obviously ever-present among the angels, so they clearly don't know for sure one way or the other. And what would cause an angel who wasn't part of the original rebellion to fall? Aziraphale thought he would fall for lying about Job's children. The archangels threatened Aziraphale with falling for "consorting" with Crowley in S1. Gabriel expected to fall for saying no to Armageddon the Sequel in S2. But none of those falls actually happened. Clearly even the angels in the highest positions of authority don't know exactly what the rules are about falling. And who decides who falls? Gabriel says the demons were "cast out" after the war, but who did the casting out? Did God handle that directly? Was it the Metatron? Did the transformation just sort of...happen, leaving everyone unsure about the details? And what about present day? The Metatron said that Gabriel would have his memory wiped instead of falling, but does that mean the Metatron gets to decide if an angel falls, or was he covering for the fact that he doesn't know how it works either?
We, the viewers, don't know the answers to any of these questions. But it's fairly clear that the angels also don't know.
New ideas and experiences are, at best, begrudgingly tolerated. The angels know little to nothing about the world or humanity and are disdainful or outright suspicious of earthly experiences. In the case of the ones who have never been sent to Earth, this makes sense, although it begs the question of why there are so many angels who have never once been sent to Earth, the planet that is supposed to be central to the Great Plan.
It's obviously, at its core, about control and keeping the angels ignorant of anything that would broaden their perspective. But listen to how the angels themselves talk about it. When Gabriel sees Aziraphale eating sushi, he asks, "Why do you consume that? You're an angel." (Subtext: You don't need to eat, so what's the purpose of indulging in this experience?) When Aziraphale suggests he try the food himself, Gabriel starts talking about sullying the temple of his body or whatever. (Subtext: It's not technically forbidden but it would be a deviation from my function as an angel so I'm suspicious of it.) And look at Aziraphale himself. He lives on Earth for many hundreds of years before he can be persuaded to even try human food, and Crowley has to work at convincing him it's okay. He seems to know it's not forbidden but he's deeply distrustful of it anyway. (I have a theory that a holdover of this mindset is why he's so set in his ways, behind the times, and still more ignorant of humans that you'd expect in the present day, but this post is already too long.) The attitude cultivated among the angels is These things are not meant for us, we don't need them, and they are a distraction from our higher purpose, so it's better if we don't.
No matter how hard you try to measure up, you're ultimately at God's mercy. So, if you're an angel, you're meant to be doing God's will, and if you fail badly enough you can be punished forever by falling. But the rules are unclear, the way falling works is unclear, in most cases you're kept ignorant of everything but the bare minimum you need to know to do your job, God isn't talking to anyone, and the (seemingly) officially appointed Voice of God is also pretty remote and mysterious most of the time.
So the only time you'll ever know for certain that you've crossed the line is once you've already crossed it, when it's too late to do anything about it. At that point, the only thing that could save you from falling would be if God just...decided to be merciful, to grant you a pardon (i.e. to forgive you) and not do the casting out thing.
Believe it or not, I had to work really hard to keep this as short as it is. If you've read this far, I salute you. Now, what's the point?
Aziraphale and the other angels are part of a system where they understand very little, they have no real power, the stakes are eternal, and their only hope of escaping endless punishment if they fail is the possibility that God will decide to show mercy and forgive them.
Yes, in the real world this is all just bullshit spread by religious leaders to scare and confuse and manipulate people into compliance and in the world of Good Omens it's actually real. But the emotional impact of feeling that confused and powerless and at the mercy of a higher authority is going to be the same. Of course Aziraphale has some Big Feelings about the subject of forgiveness. Of course it's one of his favorite things. It's not just a nice thing you do for people. It's powerful enough to rescue someone from eternal punishment when nothing else can. Powerful enough to wield as a devastating weapon by withholding it. It's a tool of control in Heaven, but it's also the source of salvation.
I was going to segue from here into what I think the specifics of Aziraphale's mindset are, but it took me so many more words than I expected just to lay out the parallels between GO Heaven and (my experience of) real-world toxic Christianity so I'm gonna stop here. Next time I'm going to dig into what I think is happening in Aziraphale's head when he forgives Crowley, and also when he does things like shelter Jimbriel (a very forgiving action, even if the words "I forgive you" don't accompany it).
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rollercoasterwords · 2 years
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hey guys btw there is actually never a good reason to loudly and publicly talk about how much u dislike a fanfic!! Like. let's break this down for a sec:
i don't like it
ok, understandable. i've dnf'd lots of fics because i didn't like them. but the people writing fanfiction are doing it for free and for fun, and you don't know anything about their lives. they could be a young writer just starting out! they could be an older writer getting back into writing after years of being unable to! they could be someone going through a rough patch whose only source of joy right now is writing their silly little stories! talking about how much you dislike a fanfic literally does nothing except hurt the person writing it. that's it. it is not productive, it is not necessary. even strangers on the internet deserve basic human empathy.
ok but i really don't like it
babe, i feel u! i'm a hater too. rant about it privately. shit on it in private messages or group chats with friends. u can dislike something without dragging its creator into the town square to throw tomatoes at them, yknow?
ok but i really don't like it AND it's popular
ok? shouting about that on the internet doesn't make you cool or special or unique. it just makes you kind of mean and, honestly, bitter. like i said before, this is fanfiction. nobody is paying for it. nobody is profiting. there is no standard that these writers are obligated to meet. clearly, other people like the work. why not let them enjoy it in peace?
no u don't understand it doesn't deserve to be popular there are better fics that deserve it more!!!
talk about those fics then!! post about how much u love them!! uplift those writers!! ur tweet or tiktok or tumblr post is not going to suddenly make a popular fic lose all popularity, no matter how undeserving u perceive it to be. if this is actually coming from a place of frustration because you feel like there are other fics that deserve more attention, then just give those fics attention.
no but it's problematic
mmm ok. let's sit with this one for a second. i want you to ask yourself--is it really, really problematic? is it perpetuating harm against a marginalized group? remember, this is fanfic; it is outside the consumer economy, and the stories it tells will almost never make it to a mainstream audience. so is the story actually hurting people, or is the author just exploring something that you're uncomfortable with? because if you're just uncomfortable, then assuming the work is tagged properly, the best course of action is to just click away. as uncomfortable as it may be, people are allowed to write stories that you might find upsetting or gross or weird, and those stories existing is not inherently harmful in and of itself.
it is actively reinforcing harmful stereotypes/rhetoric/etc
okay! ok. if you are deeply concerned because you feel that this fic is genuinely harmful, then go to the writer. leave a comment. send them a message on tumblr or twitter or tiktok or wherever. explain your situation and see what they say! nine times out of ten, i'd bet that an ao3 writer means no harm and would be willing to listen and address your concerns. in fact, they might even be grateful to you for being kind enough to make them aware of a problem and educate them on it. every ao3 writer i've ever spoken to is an incredibly kind and thoughtful person; you don't need to immediately go on the attack
the writer is unreachable/nonresponsive/not willing to address or change the problematic thing
alright. if you truly feel that this fanfiction is actively harmful and can't reach any kind of conclusion with the writer, and you want to warn others who might read the fic, then do that. do that. make a post that says hey guys btw, x thing in this fic is not a good representation/perpetuates a harmful stereotype/whatever the problem is. and leave it at that! you don't need to go further and insult the writing or the person who wrote it. that is helpful to exactly no one, and if your goal is actually to make the world a better place, then you should learn how to draw attention to an issue in a way that encourages actual dialogue instead of dog-piling and personal attacks.
anyway the next time you feel the desire to post about how bad you think a fic is, feel free to use this as a guide before u do! xoxo
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closet-keys · 2 years
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Haven’t finished severance yet, but one of the themes of the show that I’m really appreciating is the idea that humans will find and create the meaning they need from the media around them, even if it is incredibly limited.
For those who haven’t seen the show, the central premise involves people for whom their entire lives, their memories and consciousness, is limited to just being at work in an extremely isolated office with no access to the outside world at all.
The only book available that they’ve ever known is the employee handbook, the only art they’ve ever seen is the art that hangs on the walls of the office. And of course, these pieces of media are incredibly heavy handed workplace propaganda. As viewers with outside context, we can understand its disturbing messaging. But the characters, having known only this book, have made a sort of religion out of it. It becomes a sort of scripture that they quote when trying to make decisions or are trying to explain complex ideas (even ideas that are against the workplace itself!)
And then another book shows up. It’s a ridiculous memoir full of very eye-roll inducing truisms by a very entitled and self absorbed author. But to those in this workplace, it is the only competing source of information they’ve ever had. It is something from the outside world that has shown up, unapproved by the company. They read it in secret, it is heretical and challenging. Basic truisms without much meaning take on enormous rebellious meaning to the people there. Basic ideas about valuing yourself and your friends, about working together for common goals, about deserving to breathe fresh air, become highly radical passages that they begin quoting to each other in secret.
It makes me think about how we all have different access and different life histories that influence what media and messages we’re taking in. And sometimes you’ll meet people, people who seem to have good values, who express a real fondness for what feels like objectively bad media. Or you can think back to some of the super problematic media you absorbed as a child before you knew anything about the world. And you have to sit there and think through, despite the reality of what this text is, taken with all of the context you know, you have to think about what lessons that individual took from it, what passages they projected their own values and human need for meaning onto.
There’s a poem called “Confessions of an Uneducated Queer” by Lauren Zuniga that involves similar themes-- piecing together meaning and knowledge about ones self and one’s community from whatever scraps you can find, from random comments friends make, from tumblr, from books your friends leave at your apartment when they go to college. There’s a line, “This is for the first time I heard the term heteronormative and felt like I was handed a corkscrew after years of opening the bottle with my teeth.”
So many people have a strong sense of important ideas relevant to their lives, and go long periods without words to communicate them. I’m thinking about the profound, almost spiritual, relief of finding language to speak about these ideas, to communicate ones own experiences to people around you, even if you find that language in less than perfect places.
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daemonhxckergrrl · 2 years
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Getting Linux-y (for Windows refugees)
a casual users' GUIDE to the basics
Linux ? isn't that for nerds ??
yes. no. we're breaking down stereotypes here !! this post is aimed at casual users who care about freedom + privacy, are sick of the direction Windows is heading, or just curious c:
i'm talking social media, email, web browsing, online shopping, pdfs, document writing, funny meme edits, youtube/netflix/plex, spotify, dvds + cds + mp3s etc.
i'll mention gaming and running specific Windows-only software briefly, but that's outside the casual scope i'm going for d:
Arm thyself ! and decipher !! arcane secrets be upon ye !!
it's key knowledge time !! ^w^
Linux isn't Windows, but it's not completely alien :o
much like Tumblr, one curates their Linux experience. there are flavours of Linux (terminology: distribution/distro) aimed at power users who like to DIY, and there's ones aimed at normal folk that are ready to go. for the sake of this GUIDE i'm recommending Linux Mint:
its interface is similar to Windows,
it's popular as a user-friendly choice
and it has both excellent support and software
(note: i ran Mint for years, and when coming back to Linux i chose it for my gaming pc because it's easy to set up and well-supported)
key information:
Linux doesn't use drive letters :o
your C: drive is / (terminology: root directory)
your personal files (C:\Users\Username) live under /home/username (terminology: home directory)
other drives (internal and USB drives) live under /mnt/drive-label or /media/username/drive-label (terminology: mount point)
Technical Note: all hard drives and SSDs, before they get a mount point, are referred to as /dev/sdX (eg /dev/sda, /dev/sdb etc.) for HDDs and SATA SSDs (partitions are /dev/sda1, /dev/sda2 etc.), and /dev/nvmeXn1 (/dev/nvme0n1, /dev/nvme1n1 etc.) for NVMe drives (partitions are /dev/nvme0n1p1, /dev/nvme0n1p2)
however, Mint manages all this for us and stuff just shows up in your File Manager much like they do in Windows Explorer c:
Software is typically managed similar to the way App Stores work; Mint has Software Manager that lets you install common programs
the only wrinkle here is Mint supports both Mint-specific sources and a thing called Flatpak, which is like a universal App Store for all Linux distros
the Update Manager keeps both your core system and your programs up-to-date. unlike Windows, by default it will only update when you tell it to ! no more rebooting into Windows Update and waiting 10 years ^w^
it's possible to have both Linux and Windows on the same laptop (terminology: dual-booting); you choose which one each time you turn your laptop on
the Linux Mint Forums are a good place to ask questions, seek advice, and maybe even offer your own !!
additional places: Official Community Website, community-maintained subreddit, community-maintained Discord Server, Official Troubleshooting Guide
i think that's the basic info taken care of.
Let's start with the preparation, or PRE-paration
for this GUIDE you'll need:
a USB drive (4GB+)
Linux Mint ISO file
Balena Etcher (to put the ISO file on the USB drive)
i recommend reading through the info on the Mint homepage and following their installation guide for good step-by-step guide w/ screenshots ^^'
we're gonna make a 'Live Image' on our USB drive - this means we can testdrive the system before we install it. try before you buy !! wait, it's free -- uhh.. walk before you run ??
Download the ISO file using the above link. i recommend the Cinnamon Edition, unless you have a very old PC, in which case pick XFCE
Download Balena Etcher
Plug in your USB drive and open Etcher
Follow the onscreen prompts to select the ISO file and your USB drive
Alright, let's fire her up ! ^u^
now we have our USB drive it's time to boot it. because Windows is, well, Windows, you may need to disable Fast Boot in order to access the BIOS/UEFI. :c you may also have to disable Secure Boot in the BIOS/UEFI depending on your computer. this is usually found in the Boot, Security, or Authentication tab.
now we're ready !!
Power on your computer and press F1/F2/F6/F10/F12/DEL to access your BIOS or Boot Menu
Select your USB drive
A screen will come up where you can select Linux Mint (or will say Automatic Boot in X seconds)
You shall be greeted by a desktop that looks something like this
Tumblr media
have a look around !! there's a menu in the bottom left that has programs and system settings and logout/reboot/shutdown options. the taskbar at the bottom displays icons of running apps (and pinned ones). the bottom right has your clock and system tray w/ network, audio etc.
this is a great time to get a feel for how everything works ! open some programs !! investigate the System Settings. connect to your WiFi (in the system tray next to the sound and clock).
when you're ready, double-click the "Install Linux Mint" icon on the desktop. the installer will walk you through setting everything up. i recommend following the official installation guide's walkthrough as it explains everything from setting your timezone to installing Mint by itself or alongside Windows, with screenshots showing each step. it also has an important section on installing drivers. the slideshow during installation also does a good job at showcasing the available software.
Welcome Screen
after installing and rebooting, a Welcome Screen pops up that offers a nice interface for picking a system theme/colour, installing drivers, and setting up backups etc.
Let's talk software !! :D
Mint comes with some software pre-installed. these are probably the main ones:
Archive Manager (like 7-Zip or WinRAR)
Celluloid (a video player; VLC is available to install if you prefer)
Drawing (an image editor similar to Paint)
Document Viewer (PDF viewer)
Firefox (Tumblr's favourite web browser)
LibreOffice (like MS Office - it even supports MS Office file format !)
Rhythmbox (like Windows Media Player or iTunes)
Software Manager (like the Microsoft Store/App Store; GET OTHER PROGRAMS HERE !)
System Monitor (like Task Manager)
System Settings (like Control Panel)
Terminal (like Powershell/Command Prompt; outside the scope of this post but good to have)
Text Editor (like Notepad)
Timeshift (like System Restore points, or macOS Time Machine)
Web Apps (similar to an old iOS feature - make Netflix.com into an app etc.)
Update Manager (manages updates)
Available in Software Manager:
Audacity
Discord
DOSbox
Dropbox
OBS
Spotify
Transmission (torrent client)
VLC
and much more ! these are all official apps !
How's that checklist ?
i mentioned some casual tasks at the start of this post. let's work through them !
Social Media, Online Shopping, Youtube/Netflix/Plex and general Web Browsing
Difficulty: easy Windows Similarity: identical Method: open Firefox. browse to your_site.com. note: i recommend the web version of Plex as the app can be buggy
Email
Difficulty: easy (webmail), medium (mail client) Windows Similarity: identical (webmail) or similar (mail client) Method: webmail - open Firefox. browse to your_email_site.com. sign in client - open Software Manager. search for Geary (similar to Mac Mail), Evolution (similar to Outlook), or Thunderbird (same as on Windows). click Install. open Geary/Evolution/Thunderbird, follow the first-time setup.
PDFs
Difficulty: easy Windows Similarity: similar Method: open Document Viewer from the application menu. File -> Open, browse for your PDF. OR, open File Browser, browse for your PDF, double-click to open
Document Writing
Difficulty: easy Windows Similarity: similar Method: open LibreOffice Writer from the application menu. on first launch it may ask if you want a traditional (Office 2003) or Ribbon (Office 2007 onwards) layout. use it as you would MS Word. there's also Calc (Excel), Impress (Powerpoint), Draw (Publisher) and Base (Access)
Funny Meme Edits (aka MS Paint level of image editing)
Difficulty: medium Windows Similarity: similar Method: open Drawing from the application menu. File -> Open for your image. the left toolbar provides options to resize, add text, crop etc. pro tip: remember to click the tick button on the bottom right when you do anything !
Spotify
Difficulty: easy Windows Similarity: identical Method: open Software Manager, search for Spotify, click Install. then open it from the application menu.
DVDs
Difficulty: easy Windows Similarity: similar Method: insert your DVD. Mint may ask what you want to do (choose play/open with Celluloid). if it doesn't, then open Celluloid from the application menu, click the + icon in the top left, click "Open Disc" and choose the DVD you inserted.
CDs and MP3s
Difficulty: easy Windows Similarity: similar Method: CDs - insert your CD. Mint may ask what you want to do (choose play/open with Rhythmbox). if it doesn't, then open Rhythmbox from the application menu. it should automatically see your CD. MP3s - double-click your MP3 file.
Gaming and Windows-only programs
i said i'd briefly mention this (probably good bc the post is getting loonnggggggg), so here we go.
gaming on Linux has come a long way. Steam can be installed from Software Manager and supports a few titles natively, as well as the option to run some Windows-only games using compatibility software called Proton. the website ProtonDB is very handy for looking up compatibility for specific games. i'll drop a proper GUIDE on Linux gaming another time.
Windows-only programs. sometimes you need specific software and it only has a Windows version. it happens. there's similar compatibility software that allows eg Photoshop to run, called WINE (Proton is actually based on this). again, this is outside the casual scope of this post, but i'll drop a GUIDE on this too (as i use the same software to manage both my Windows-only programs and my Windows-only games).
Finale !! FINI !! Fuck me that's a lotta words !!
okay, we got to the end ! you should have Linux Mint installed, you should have your basic programs ready to rock (and know where to get more !!), and know where to get help from official Linux Mint sources as well as community-run ones <3
please drop any questions in the notes, or as an ask. i shall tag those asks #DATA_REQUESTS/GUIDES/LINUX in addition to my usual #DATA_REQUEST tag
i'll also provide the following GUIDEs/REPOs as i have time:
Flatpak (that universal App Store i mentioned earlier)
Gaming (including using Proton + Bottles for Windows games)
Windows software (using WINE + Bottles)
and if there are any specific GUIDEs (eg terminal basics, how to configure xyz in System Settings etc.) or REPOs (eg links to other people's GUIDEs, software recs, screenshot galleries etc.) i'm happy to provide those as and when i have the time !! have fun !!~
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olderthannetfic · 6 months
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https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/730572795212398592/what-is-up-with-all-the-trans-men-on-this-hellsite?source=share
As a trans man, I might have some insight into this one. I'm a lot older than the standard uwu sparkle anti, but I was in my mid twenties for the first wave of weirdness about trans boys on Tumblr about a decade ago, so I was just too old for it then, and I saw a lot of guys my age and a little younger get swept up in it.
OTNF rightly points out that young trans men are a particularily vulnerable demographic. This is part of it, but we're also a demographic that doesn't sit comfortably with our identites (gender identities or otherwise) and are told by everyone (on every side) that we are Doing It Wrong, that our existence harms others, and that we must be this specific way to be good people.
I'm sure you've seen the "trans men are better than real cis men" rhetoric. It's meant to be inclusive and to reassure us that we're not bad people just because of our gender, but it also denies us our entire gender identity.
So basically, you've got a bunch of young guys, most of whom were socialised like girls and learned to never be too assertive, many of whom are straight up suffering from dysphoria and stress, being told by people both within and outside of their communities that the are Wrong and Bad and Harmful just for existing. It makes sense that a lot of them would would find a movement based on moral posturing that will accept them if they perform correctly and will use their real name and pronouns. That's what Antis are; they say "use this vocabulary, send hate mail to that person, put these terms in your DNI, don't be caught reading that story", and, unlike other groups that police people's tastes and performance that hard, they're not overtly hostile to trans identities. So you can spout the right rhetoric, use the right tumblr icon, and they will actually accept you (on the surface, for a time, but we're talking about young and desperate people who aren't looking at the long game).
Helping them harass those badwrong horrible NOTP shippers or aces or middle aged women or some random artist who got caught drawing the wrong age gap or whoever is the fashionable target will prove that you aren't a horrible monster for being a man, you're moral and upright and correct.
And yes a lot of it is internalised misandry (that word has a lot of dumb baggage, but how else can I describe a boy who hates himself for being a boy?), or self-loathing born of dysphoria and just plain having to live in a world that's hostile to trans people.
Being an anti is a way out. It's a way to manufacture acceptence. And they're too young and too hurt to realise that that acceptance is as temporary and hostile as the people who accept them only if they pretend to be girls; the antis will turn on them the moment they start acting a little too manly or if they're caught liking the wrong ship.
(I've seen something similar happen to young cis queer guys and trans girls, too, but it isn't as pronounced since being raised as a boy means you probably already learned that standing up for yourself is ok sometimes)
--
I'm sure it also doesn't help that tumblr is absolutely full of BL/slash fandom. There's certainly plenty of gender diversity in these spaces, but it's inescapable that the majority of participants are women. So for a young, insecure guy trying to assert that he is a guy, it's easy to fall prey to "Waaaah, I need to reclaim my hobby for me!" gatekeepy nonsense.
Sure, it's going to be turned on nbs even harder than on cis women and will be used to misgender other trans men in the end and misogyny isn't cool anyway, but that's not what your average traumatized young fool is thinking when they first join up. They're thinking "I hurt."
TBH, though, probably the largest component is that all of us—all of us—have a mental image of a default human for a given context. It's rarely a trans man. And so anything a trans man does stands out and is A Thing Trans Men Do.
This is true even if you are trans. It is true even if you are not a transphobic dickhead. Unlearning the 'why girls are bad at math' xkcd strip is extraordinarily hard because recognizing patterns and having mental defaults is just how human brains work.
There are shittons of cis women who become antis, but they're just not notable in the same way.
Are trans men more vulnerable to becoming antis? It's possible, and the reasons you outlined above are likely why. I think it's an interesting question to discuss if we are specifically discussing why the trans men who do become antis do so.
But we don't actually have any hard facts to support that they are more prone to it than anybody else. My guess would be that vulnerable people are more likely to become antis, so any cis woman with a strong source of vulnerability like a shittastic home life is similarly vulnerable to a young trans man with no support network, but who knows.
Maybe only 5% of trans men on tumblr are antis and 50% of cis women. Maybe it's 90% of trans men and 20% of cis women. Maybe it's 1% and 1% and they're just all very loud.
We have no data. We just don't know.
And we will never be able to trust our own brains on this until trans vs. cis is such a nonissue that we don't even notice it.
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vladimirtebastard · 5 months
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Alright listen up Tumblr maggots, we're talking about storage and backups
I saw a post the other day (which is to say like 3 weeks ago) saying not to keep anything important on a USB flash drive. And that's correct! But that often leads to the follow up question of "ok so what do I put my stuff on?" This is for that question.
THERE ARE THREE MAJOR FORMS OF MASS STORAGE, AND THEN A BUNCH OF OTHER SMALL ONES THAT NOBODY LIKES
HARD DRIVES
A Hard Disk Drive is one of the most stable forms of data storage since it's a physical fucking disk, spinning around really fast. That's 90% of how a hard drive works. Sometimes there's a cache for fast transfers but nobody cares about that. As long as you
DONT FUCKING DROP IT
KEEP IT IN A BOX
KEEP IT DRY
DONT LEAVE IT SCREAMING AT MAX SPEED 24/7
It's basically never going to fail, especially if you only use it off and on for a backup away from your main device. My Mom's Dad's old IDE Hard Drive from 1998 is STILL FUNCTIONAL to this day, because he took care of it. Now granted you shouldn't use a 30 year old hard drive but it just goes to show that if you take care of it, it will take care of you. They are dirt cheap, they are absolutely everywhere, and are by far the best form of multi-decade storage you can get, short of printing it out and vacuum sealing the bag.
The caveat with Hard Drives is that they are fuckin slow. Especially if you wanna move a whole bunch of things over, and we're talking thousands of things here, not just a couple of videos, it can take literal hours to back up properly. Backing up my mom's old HP laptop took 25 hours to copy everything over, for a number of reasons, but not least of which was the 160,000 photos she had.
Hard Drives come in 2 sizes: 2.5 inch and 3.5 inch. In addition to being smaller, 2.5 inch drives are also much easier to power, and can be powered by a simple USB plug if you have one. 3.5 inch drives are faster, and often have much larger capacities, but that comes at a cost of being way heavier, and needing an external power brick if you want to use it outside of an actual PC tower. Nearly every single external hard drive I've seen is 2.5 inch.
Good brands for Hard Drives include Western Digital and Seagate. If you want to take a gamble with a cheaper one, don't. Toshiba can fuck right off.
2. SSDs
Solid State Drives are a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THING FROM HARD DRIVES. Instead of using a spinny disk bastard, these little fuckers are basically humungous SD cards or gigantic USB sticks. They're very fast, regardless of what kind you get (NVMe vs SATA really doesn't matter when we're talking about things like photos), but that comes at the caveat of being WAY FASTER TO DIE. Since they physically keep electrons in little cells, flash cells, these cells will inevitably break down with time and these bits will leak out, leading to data corruption and other awfulness. They ALSO have a limited write cycle, which means that even if you keep it powered for all eternity forever, eventually at some arbitrarily far point in the future the SSD will just fuckin die and there's nothing you can do to stop that. You're not getting screwed, these things just physically can't last forever because of how they're designed. These things are NOT a very good backup source unless you're a psychopath and want to upgrade your backup drives every year, or if you're working in an institution that physically requires speed, like idk video editing or some shit. Either way, miserable, awful backup medium, especially when you compare the prices. These little things are super expensive for even a 1 TB drive.
Did I mention these things are fast? They're super fuckin fast. They range anywhere from 2x to 150x as fast as a regular Hard Drive because there's no moving parts, so if you need SPEED for whatever reason over longevity, this is technically one way to do it. SSDs are great for operating systems, but I repeat, NOT for backups!!! If you want something that will limp along for several decades and persist for your grandkids, invest in something with A LONG SERVICE LIFE, which these PHYSICALLY CANNOT HAVE!
If you're shopping for an OS drive though, an SSD is practically required. And using an SSD as a boot drive is perfectly fine. Just make sure you have a good backup system.
3. SD Cards
I HAD BETTER NOT CATCH A SINGLE ONE OF YOU FUCKERS USING AN SD CARD TO BACK UP PRECIOUS MEMORIES. SD cards are the cheaper, shittier cousins of SSDs, and inherit all of the problems of SSDs with absolutely none of the benefits. They're slow as shit, make for dogshit boot drives, have a limited life cycle, and not only that but it's shorter than an SSD's, since they're made of cheap awful flash storage. The ONLY benefit of SD cards is that these things are tiny and can fit in practically anything, which is why phones and cameras use them - nothing else is gonna fucking fit!
And they're STILL not cheaper than hard drives! They're barely more valuable than a big USB drive! Use an SD card to boost your phone's storage, then when it fills up dump that shit onto a hard drive as soon as you can. That is the ONLY reason to use SD cards!
Or you have a Nintendo Switch. That too.
TO RECAP
Hard Drives are for long term data storage/hoarding and should be used for backups of valuable files, like pictures and video you want to hang onto
Solid State Drives are speedy bois and are explicitly for the operating system and NOTHING ELSE, unless you have a fuckload of money. Don't put things onto an SSD you aren't planning to move to a Hard Drive later.
SD cards can eat shit and die unless you physically cannot fit anything else. They are terrible at everything and die after a while. But small footprint is important sometimes.
AND REMEMBER: THIS POST IS JUST FOR BACKING UP DATA, AND NOT GENERAL STORAGE ADVICE. ALL OF THESE MEDIUMS HAVE A PLACE. BUT IF YOU'RE SPECIFICALLY WANTING TO KEEP PRECIOUS FILES SAFE, PUT IT ON A HARD DRIVE, PUT THE HARD DRIVE IN A BOX, AND PUT THE BOX ONTO THE FLOOR OR SOMETHING. THAT'S LITERALLY WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO. It will last you DECADES.
Rant over.
Dishonorable Mention: Compact Flash Express
CFExpress is the bougier version of SD cards where they're not fast enough to be an SSD but also not nearly shit enough to be an SD card. They're kinda cool but also super fucking expensive, and should be treated like a computer arcane relic. These are almost exclusively used by like... big ass film 4k digital cameras or whatever. You do not need this at all.
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verana115 · 9 months
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Who I am, what I do, and why I do it :)
Hello people of Tumblr!!! My name is Vera and I'm a trans woman who spends her time hiking a trans pride flag up many mountains. Two years ago, I hiked the flag up 115 mountains in the Northeast of the US, and last spring I followed it up with another 202 mountains in the Southeast of the US. Currently I'm working on a more expansive list of 131 peaks in the Northern Appalachian/Adirondack Complex. This post is kind of an intro to me, and if you have any more questions, feel free to send them my way! Also do be aware that I'm a Reddit refugee who's new to this site, so if you have any helpful advise, please let me know because I'm still figuring things out as I start to transition away from that dumpster fire of a website! :)
Who am I???
My full name is Veronica Ashcroft (she/her), though I usually refer to myself by my nickname, Vera. I am a transgender hiker and aspiring mountaineer from the Northeast who spends a lot of time outside. I recently bought a van and have converted it into a little mobile-living space, and that combined with my recent decision to do seasonal work means that I have a lot of free time on my hands – free time that I intend to spend hiking and peakbagging as much as I can!
What is peakbagging?
Peakbagging is a style of climbing mountains where the goal is to summit a peak. This can take on many different forms, from just generally trying to summit peaks as a goal of climbing/mountaineering, to religiously pursuing lists of mountains grouped together because of their height, significance, etc. The way I personally approach peakbagging is to summit as many peaks as I can within a given timeframe, usually following some list that I either created myself or borrowed from an outside source. Most people who peakbagg do so over the course of months or years, so I'm definitely on one extreme with how much time I put towards my peakbagging projects
Which mountains have I done, which am I working toward, and what will I tackle in the future?
Last year I took a trans pride flag up the Northeast 115 4000fters list, which is a rather descriptive name, given that there are *basically* 115 4000ft mountains in the American Northeast. This spring I bagged the New Southeast 202, which includes the tallest and most prominent peaks in the Southern Appalachians. Currently I'm working toward the New Northeast 131, which comprises a number of the 1000ft prominence peaks in the American Northeast, including all of the remaining 2000ft prominence peaks that aren't on the 115. This one is a fair bit more challenging than the previous two I've done, and will involve me learning/developing various skills to complete hopefully by the end of the summer. After that, who knows!? I'm taking life one step at a time!
Why take a pride flag up mountains?
The simple answer is because I was already going to do these mountains anyway, and taking a pride flag up them allows me to promote trans visibility in the outdoors and spread some positivity in the process. And we trans people need some positivity in the world right now. Politicized transphobia is on the rise, and trans people have become one of the key targets of right-wingers. It was already a few years ago and it has gotten worse - I invite you to look at the news if you wanna see what I'm talking out. Obviously taking a flag up some mountains isn't in the same league whatsoever as these political assaults from the right against, but we really do need some positivity to stay sane and hopeful in these times. And I'm certainly not going to single-handedly do that - I'm neither that arrogant nor ambitious to claim something like that. But even if my projects positively impact only a small group of people for a brief period, that will be good enough for me
Why take a trans pride flag though?
I'm trans, and I'm also a lesbian and sometimes gender nonconforming - I like to joke that I'm a couple different flavors of queer. Intersectionality is important, and when I started these projects last year, I choose to emphasize my trans identity by taking a trans flag up because that was the part of my identity most under-assault. Truth be told, I was originally planning on using a rainbow flag for my current work for the reason of trying to have my projects appeal to a wider queer audience. But then, the onslaught of anti-trans laws intensified last year, and I was being reminded daily that a lot of people really do hate me for who I am, and I know that those people would already be angry to see a queer person taking a rainbow flag up mountains - but they'd be livid to see a trans woman doing the same with a trans pride flag. Or to put it another way, on a personal level, my trans identity is the target for most of the bigotry I face, and so that's the part of my identity that I want to push back with the most
Why am I not doing something more useful with my life?
With the onslaught of bigotry showing no signs of relenting, I see queer people all over wondering what we can do to fight back. And to be entirely honest, hiking a pride flag up a bunch of mountains definitely isn't the most efficient use of my time and energy right now in that political context. It would probably be a much better idea for me to join one of the many political groups and organizations fighting back against this onslaught of bigotry, rather than doing projects like these. And I know for a fact that some people will look at my project and be disappointed that I'm choosing not to do that. But honestly, hiking makes me really happy, and I've spent the majority of my life profoundly unhappy dealing with issues of depression and gender dysphoria. And now that I'm in a position where I can actually do something like this, I'm gonna, because for most of my life I couldn't even imagine myself having agency over my own life. And, although I'm well aware that the scope of my project is ultimately quite small, I've had enough people both online and irl come up to me and tell me that my projects helped inspire them, or at least just brought some trans positivity in an era that is increasingly frightening for queer people - and, to me, that makes it worth my time
What can you do to help?
If you enjoy my project, please reblog and share it with other people - the more people who view/follow what I do, the more effective I'll be in getting the message across!!!
Is there anywhere else you can follow me?
Yes! I also have a reddit and an insta that I post to, along with an account on peakbagger detailing the nitty gritty of my hikes. Additionally, I have a personal website where I put detailed trip reports and lots of photos, so be sure to check those out!!!
What if you have any other questions?
Reach out! I love it when people message me! Do be aware, I do spend most of my time in mountains with spotty reception, so I might take a few days to get your message!!!
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justepilepsy · 6 months
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Do you happen to have any information on the Harding test and if any companies are required to use it in the US? Like if online ads are required to use it, games, etc.
I had a few seizures from Psychonauts 2, and the game does not have a flashing lights warning. I requested that to be patched in so no one else might figure it out by experience like me. The staff responded well, and mentioned that Microsoft should have done internal testing. I found Xbox's gaming accessibility guidelines for photosensitivity, and it mentioned the Harding test as what they use to check for photosensitive accessibility. I'm trying to find more information on how it works, but can't. All I can think is that maybe it is like PEAT (Photosensitive Epilepsy Analysis Tool) but more robust. I would ideally like to not send in £30 + a clip for checking how it works for their online testing with content I know can give me a seizure to see if it picks up on that.
- @crippled-kunikos
Hi Anon, I've been sitting on this for a while and been thinking on how to answer this. I don't have any additional information outside of what's available to the public regarding th Harding Test. I have some personal opinions by now on flashing lights however, so maybe this helps you in some way, but beware that this is all based on my own experience/observations:
To my knowledge the Harding Test was created to detect the worst of the worst flashing lights and photosensitivite effects. So this means, that there is a certain threshold that must be passed in order for it to be like "Beep boop this stuff bad!" So. What about all the other stuff that is very flashing lights, but not flashy enough to kick off this response? Well - that stuff is potentially triggering too, but less likely to like... to the average (non-photosensitive) person. Now - I am quotig wikipedia here, so not the best source but the wording puts it well:
"Any such over limit violations give rise to the media being failed. Otherwise the media is passed fit for broadcast and a pass certificate can be automatically generated." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harding_test
So, to me this means: The Harding Test has a specific limit/amount of flashing lights that needs to be reached for it to flag something as dangerous. It's basically detecting the worst of the worst. But it does not seem to be designed to catch flashing lights that are only dangerous for "some" part of photosensitive people. Photosensitivity seems to be a spectrum, when you look around on tumblr, users have a lot of different tolerance levels for this! Some get triggered by a still image that is otherwise pure red, others are mostly fine. Some people experience motion sickness via rapid scrolling, some people don't. So.. The Use of the Harding Test is no 100% guarantee that a game will be absolutely SAFE for every level of photosensitivity. Also - to my awareness, the XBOX accessibility guidelines are just that. Guidelines. They are not mandatory to be applied during development. They are a toolkit and ressource pool for Developers, but not a "Must have" for every game. It is great that this ressource exists!!! BUt it isn't a mandatory step within the development of games. I reckon, it's possible that Psychonauts 2 was run through the Harding test by microsoft, but none of the footage run through was severe enough to reach that threshold for the Algorithm to go "Beep Bop this sucks!" Hence the game made it in as is. On the note on how the harding test works - I think looking at movies makes it also clearer, that the Harding Test has a certain threshold that media needs to pass, but this revision won't guarantee absolute safety. Looking at Spiderverse and the Incredibles 2, the movie's intense strobes were certainly reduced for the UK movie theatre release. But the reduction of the effects in Incredibles 2 was only just enough to pass the test, it did not make the movie less dangerous to a wide audience with differing photosensitivity levels. I hope this helps!
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astraltrickster · 10 months
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A guide to crediting art for Reddit users
Because this isn't Pinterest, okay? Like, as an artist, I know damned well I can't STOP people from making memes of whatever they want without credit or permission...but most artists find it really, really rude, at best. I know it's normalized over on Reddit, but that's, uh, something a lot of us have been aware of and HATED for a while.
So, here's the deal.
Things where credit is optional according to the typical rules of etiquette:
Official assets from well-known published games. Screenshots of real anime and movies and TV shows. Big name published manga scans (but make sure it really is an official manga scan - just because it's a well-known character and on-model doesn't mean it's official; some doujin are VERY on-model). Arguably, official art book scans, but that one is a bit more controversial. Basically, if it was made to be an official part of a big name Thing, credit isn't considered to be necessary, because we all know where it came from, or if we don't it's only a matter of checking what tags someone has reblogged with once it gets more than like 20 notes.
But anything else? You need to credit the artist, and before you even do that, you need to make sure they're okay with reposts in the first place.
Now, this is common sense to most people on tumblr and other sites with a large artist population, but I've learned the hard way that it's...really not to a lot of people on Reddit, or Pinterest, or many other communities: most art you find online is not done by Recognizable Industry Professionals, and even a lot that is, well, they're not recognizable enough that even people who care about art in their circle are going to see a repost - even with the artist's signature - and go "oh, yeah, I know that guy!" Many artists rely on online traffic to bolster their careers. In fact, reposting can hurt starting professional artists - there have been plenty of cases of artists accused of plagiarism because their work got reposted so far and wide that no one believed they made it anymore!
Even outside of that, many artists don't want you reposting their work, even with credit, for many reasons - not least of which being because it's easy to lose creative control in some truly horrible ways. Remember what happened to Pepe the Frog? Did you know about the similar case of Trash Doves? You may say "ew, wtf, I'd never do that, I'm not hunting for stuff to bastardize into a hate symbol, I just want to make silly memes" - but that doesn't ultimately matter. It's not about whether you'd do it or not; it's about the fact that there are people who would.
Therefore, if you see a piece of art you want to use for a meme, you have to check the source. If it's already a repost, reverse image search it. If you still can't find it, don't use it. If you can only find it on Pinterest or some other repost-heavy site, don't use it.
Check to see if the artist SAYS "DO NOT REPOST" or "REPOSTS OK WITH CREDIT" somewhere on their profile. If they don't speak English, machine translation will probably suffice. If they don't specify, ask. If the answer is no, find a different piece of art from someone who allows it or a "safe" source as listed above.
Now that you have permission, make your meme, and LINK TO the original piece in the post body. Remember: "Credit to the artist" is not credit. "I didn't draw this" is not credit. Link to where it came from, there is no substitute.
So, with that, go forth, and happy memeing!
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Hey Pax talk more to me about fantasy computers plus 👀
HI HELLO i posted that snippet and that call for discussion and then promptly got distracted, went to bed, and forgot to check tumblr pretty much all day. i wasnt sure id have much to say on the matter but i ended up rambling only half-coherently so <3 no hard feelings if its Too Much to read, let alone comprehend. im not proofreading it myself so good luck and thank u for prompting me to ramble <3<3<3
BUT
FANTASY COMPUTERS
aka normal real-world computers shoved into classic high fantasy land because i like to fuck with genre expectations like that. except like cyber/solarpunk future computers because again. genre is fake
anyways. the goblins of the ehlverse are a) the only people without either a magic source (see: elementalism, human blood runes, dwarven metallurgy, etc) or an inherently magical biology (see: dragonkin being literally made of magma, shara'i being feathered and mammalian and terrestrial and eyeless a la moles, etc) AND B) have been thus excluded from much of the world's politics and power due to magical inability for literally tens of thousands of years
so of course they invented computers and robots and sustainable electricity and gadgets and such that are capable of not only emulating certain commonly useful aspects of magic, but also of doing things no magic can, just to keep up
something that i've had in mind while building out the stories in the ehlverse (mainly TMS but it impacts whispers too) is the like. meta level of How the World Works. and technology like computers and such being a big huge useful innovation in real life!! and how to justify only the goblins and a scattered few other people around the world actively using them. and how politics and superstition and practicality for the majority all intertwine into the situation as it is in TMS and whispers
and like. a lot of the politics on ehl are like normal politics with magic added to the resources/skillsets of certain groups. so like that shit impacts trade and warfare heavily and it's basically useless to ally with another political entity that has nothing to offer you of the most important thing in the world, right? and so when it comes down to it, half of why computers aren't nearly as widespread as they could be is because the people in power in a lot of the world simply don't care to start trade negotiations for things that scribes and scrupulous bookkeeping and massive libraries can do just fine. because outside of the goblins, no one cares about like. the internet. the most enticing things are databases
superstition-wise, there's a lot of thinking in certain communities on ehl that if you spend enough time with goblins and only goblins, you lose your magic. and like there's no proof of it, but people believe it anyway, and oftentimes they extend that belief to anything goblins make, too
and THEN. practically speaking. the vast majority of ehlves (who are the global majority, probably ~70% of the people on ehl have recent ehlven ancestry) are fire, water, earth, or metal Elementalists. and guess what? elementalism means you have fun(!) ambient effects on your environment. like, say, a fire mage immediately overheating any computer they come in contact with. or an earth mage getting upset and causing microshakes that mess up the delicate stability instruments inside robots. or a metal mage's inherent magnetism completely ripping a phone apart from the inside out. or water mages doing some magic nearby and not realizing they made a full cup of water condense out of the air right onto their keyboard. and thats not even getting into light (aka electricity) mages and every way they can make things go wrong, even as a relative minority compared to the above
and until the superstitious (xenophobic) and political aspects get resolved, it's not likely that the practical ones will be solved. purely because you need lots of people to test these things to see if the solutions work
(there is a solution. it will revolutionize all of the ehlverse once it becomes widespread. it is found out in TMS and present in whispers if you think about a very specific detail when you come across it. but it will rely on governments getting their shit together so anything i write using that specific state of the world will require it being much further down the timeline than ive explored so far so)
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phil-lesterfan · 2 months
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no personally I have no idea why Neil is on tumblr it’s extremely weird imo. Celebrities shouldn’t be here, it ruins the vibe of everything because then people will be like “Neil said this! Or Neil said that!” And I will be like I don’t give a fuck what he says if it’s not in canon it’s not important 👍🏼
i feel like everyone needs a lesson in fandom 101 again like. i saw a post today where someone said hannigram is canon bc of "word of god" aka shit the creator said outside of the show.. HWAT!?!? since when have we loved and accepted this
i know revisions and editions exist, but that's not what's going on here at all.. i say if you wouldn't know about it unless you looked for it (aka if it's not in the source material), it's not canon. which seems like a pretty basic definition but i forget this is the "words don't have meaning" website
genuinely every post on here that's like "you're not fucking catholic" is soooo true like why do you need the author to hold your hand every step of the way why do you need to be Approved Of before saying something. if you are catholic 1) girl.... and 2) you should know you can do whatever you want now and then ask for forgiveness later. BRUH
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vlstarie · 2 days
Text
Mobile rules and muse
Under the cut
This is temporary till I have a Google doc that's mobile friendly up
RULES
BASICS
Vixen || She \ Her || 24 || Night Shift worker
I am okay with muses outside of my characters fandom! I love ocs a lot too!
Minors do not interact please.
short and easy rules, don't god mod, powerplay etc your regular run of the mill don'ts in roleplaying
Not intersted in Drama lemme roleplay my weird creatures in peace . I will give three warnings if you try to involve me into it. I am NOT interested
activity can be spotty and i do sometimes roleplay on mobile so my cutting is minimalistic the tag to block in those times are "mobile reply" Trigger warnings WILL be tagged as needed, note that this blog will have mentions of horror, gore potential eye horror, mentions of trauma, alcohol abuse , abuse and drug abuse
SIDE BLOGS! please just send me a dm on your main to let me know what your side is. if I follow your side it means we're mutals ( just because sometimes personals clog my feed <3 ) but ofc if it is to show we're moots I will follow
INTERACTING
If I follow you it means I would love to interact with you! Be patient with me this blog is REALLY low activity and I haven't really been back into the SPN fandom in a long ass time so I may get things wrong Most of her backstory is information from the SPN Wiki of Leviathans Easiest way to interact with me :, I love writing starters and open starters of course I also love the good ol meme or unprompted asks Ask box is always open for memes, Questions about character , Things you want to know about the blog etc my ask box is open to mutuals & non Mutuals I love plotting things out!, even if we don't plot I am still going to reply to them Please note that I personally do not care much for smut, there are chances it could happen and chances it wont however I am comfortable with doing fade to blacks as well. Usual roleplay manners apply here, No God modding, Info-Modding, Forcing ships/ Relationships , Mun doesn’t equal muse etc etc I AM NOT MY MUSE! Mun does not equal muse, I merely roleplay the character I am not Rachie! Communication is really important if you want to plot, I am okay with my character being harmed! Just give me a heads up ( if any threads involve death we can plot it out :) )
MAINS & SHIPS This blog is Multiship and practices mains along with ship-exclusives Not all threads will equal Romance, Eve is a funky character to ship with, however this rule does not apply to soft memes , if both muns talk then it can develop!
This blog does practice in Affiliate's // Affiliated and the affiliated blogs are bellow
Affiliated with :
HEAVILY affiliated with : @r-adio
TRIGGERS
Triggers & Sqwuicks- I will try my best to tag things , however if I do forget I apologize, I tend to just write and go with the flow; if there is something you need tagged ASK ME! If I forget to tag something just DM me and I will fix it right away <3 As for me PERSONALLY I do not have any triggers
MEMES AND WHAT NOT
Feel free to send in memes!, I love meme replies along with just joking around with memes as well! Regarding this rule: My inbox is open to mutuals and non mutuals however INBOX CALLS and STARTER CALLS are MUTUAL EXCLUSIVE I am not your meme resource blog , reblog it from the source please unless the source is dead! I love making head canons for characters! head canon posts will be posted here under HEAD CANONS (linked items are marked with a click here ) and on tumblr I will make a tag! They are also here too!
OTHER Icon credit currently belongs to @crimsionicons for the fc of Sun Lee I do plan to crop my own icons soon Discord is available to mutuals upon request This blog is slightly slow activity due to my work schedule Vixen || She \ Her || 24 || Night Shift worker
Leviathan INFO
Tumblr media
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bangtide · 9 months
Note
any blogs you recommend for a yoonminnie? my tl is deprived and soulless 😭
firstly, it's your dashboard or dash, not tl! i've rbed some posts about using tumblr & will hunt down more, please check them out. i'll discuss army tumblr culture below the read more link.
a tour through my following list yields that nearly all the bangtan blogs i follow are inactive, lmfao. but for basic bangtan content, these were the go-to:
bts-trans (still active, just slow) bangtan (ia) audiorkive (active, but only for new releases) btstwtarchive (active) allforbts (ia, but posted all updates)
as for people and content, here's what i'd have to say about army tumblr culture vs twitter (esp my community there):
the big blogs are mostly gif makers (knjspjm & sugajimin are the two i follow who come to mind). gifs are rlly popular & reposting a gif is offensive.
the same for any sort of content. always give credit to original creators, translators, ect. it's also general practice to link to the source if sharing bangtan content, such as clips.
fic writers, rpf artists, ect are rarer than they used to be due to the porn ban in 2018 when a lot of users left.
but even when you do find them, rpf-heavy text posts (aus, fics, rpf-y fawning) have become unusual outside particular niches. nsfw even more so. most authors just post fics to ao3, and artists focus on art, so on so forth. this is the biggest difference from twitter.
that said, it shouldn't stop you. i'm of the opinion rpf-ing needs to be more visible to those who want to see it.
rpf on tumblr is separated from the real life boys. not perfectly, but more so than on twitter. you should consider tagging rpf-heavy posts & fics as rpf or an equivalent if you post abt it. (my tag for it is "fic-ish")
tumblr blogs are often just people vibing & engaging in what they feel like. even if they're dedicated to one fandom, other posts will show up (jokes, politics, discussion, art, other fandoms, ect), and usually people mix fandoms on one blog.
a lot of bangtan blogs on tumblr are multi group or cover k-pop as a whole.
most of them are sideblogs, meaning op has a main blog that they interact through (like me). this doesn't mean they're more active there.
fanwars between different group fandoms are regarded as incredibly stupid & if you engage in them you'll look very stupid. they don't really happen here anymore.
in general, if you start beef with another blog instead of just blocking and moving on you'll look stupid. fanwars of all kinds are not well-tolerated on tumblr.
solos are more common on tumblr & they're not evil. starting beef with them is also considered dumb. block & move on if you're bothered.
that doesn't mean you can't criticize what you see, but vociferously decrying specific people or subcommunities with no nuance is a bad look.
criticism or expressing negative/neutral opinions of bangtan, hybe/bh, their music, content, and even individual members is normal. some people use it as an excuse to pump their hateboner or go on tirades, but again, if it bothers you block & move on.
that said, reblogging with your addition if you have something insightful to respond with is normal. so is ranting about what you saw without naming anyone.
tumblr is in general a very anti-drama climate compared to twitter. people here truly do their own thing. there are exceptions, of course, but overall you live and let live.
tumblr is also EXTREMELY anti-clout compared to twitter. it's totally fine to talk about how much you like a blog, make a post looking for people to follow or mutuals, ect. making your own post promoting your stuff is even fine as long as it's earnestly about sharing your work. but most people hide their follower counts & don't fixate on visibility. going viral is considered a curse.
lastly, publicizing personal information as a prerequisite for interacting with someone is weird here. you don't need to have your age visible to everyone to follow nsfw blogs without being blocked, for example. minors may be sbed or blocked if op wants to, but not having a public age is normal. anonymity is valued.
@yoonminist is the og yoonmin blog here (another is sugainmycoffee). be warned if you follow me from twt, she's a vers fan. that sort of content rarely shows up on her page, though. using that to segue into another subject i wanted to cover briefly,
top vs bottom culture & discourse on tumblr is not as much of a thing as it is on twitter. this is in large part due to the lack of nsfw + tumblr's overall anti-drama culture, but a lot of rps blogs here genuinely don't care either way. that lends its own issues--namely, the same old underlying sentiments that caring about top/bottom content in a meaningful way is silly, bad, ect & ignorance of how viciously certain communities have been bullied over it + favoring certain flawed but popular narratives. it's similar to twitter but less skewed in favor of one over the other, and vers fans usually do sincerely like it all (as opposed to labeling themselves vers but only engaging with one trope consistently).
crash course concluded.
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sigmaleph · 1 year
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random.org is a useful website for various, well, randomisation purposes, but their thing about 'true randomness' is a little weird
most of the time when computers need a random number they use a pseudo-random number generator, the output of which is as the name implies not 'actually' random (you can reproduce the same result if you use the same initial conditions). If you're drawing a handful of numbers this basically can't be a problem; the short-term behaviour of any remotely decent PRNG is going to look pretty random. If you're doing something security-critical or doing complicated scientific modelling where you need to draw lots and lots of numbers this can be a problem, if you're using a shitty algorithm or using a good one improperly, don't take advice from me in that scenario.
Anyway. random.org does not use a PRNG; they use atmospheric noise as a source of 'true randomness'. I am not really qualified to evaluate the statistical properties of atmospheric noise or whatever; I'm assuming it's good enough and if it isn't someone who knows better should say so. But what it is is more expensive to get; not very, but you can get a lot more random numbers out of a PRNG running on your own machine than from a single website serving random bits to whoever asks. if you're using their API, the free tier has a 1000 requests per day limit and their 'commercial (non-gambling)' tier is 12 USD a month for 60000 requests.
that's not a lot per request ofc, but like imagine if someone told you the way your computer multiplies numbers is bad and you need to buy premium multiplication from them over the internet. no matter how cheap per operation that is, you're going to want a good reason to think this premium multiplication is, y'know, better.
(i mean also probably your computer can't connect over the internet if it can't multiply numbers but never mind that).
Random.org summarises which kind of random number generator is in their opinion more appropriate for each situation in a handy table, which I am not going to copy because i have no idea how to make tumblr format things as tables. it suggests 'true' random number generators for the purposes of "Lotteries and Draws, Games and Gambling, Random Sampling (e.g., drug screening), and Security (e.g., generation of data encryption keys)", and PRNGs for Simulation and Modelling. The latter seems to be a concession to the fact that those require far too many random draws for their model to work well with.
so here's my issue: I am reasonably confident that for short draws PRNGs are good enough at 'being random'. If you use them badly (a shitty algorithm, or idk, set the seed in a predictable-to-outsiders way) in a security-critical application you will have Problems, but that's also true about everything in security. I have no idea if there's fewer risks from using a centralised source of true randomness for your cryptographic keys than a PRNG, maybe there is, not the point.
the point is everything else. If on short draws the problems of PRNGs are unlikely to occur, and on long draws the costs of paying someone else to do it for you get too big (as they implicitly admit), what exactly is the use case?
The API tiers for gambling purposes all offer a signed API, which:
The Signed API has all the functions of the Basic API and also lets you prove that your random values really came from RANDOM.ORG (authenticity) and that your application has not changed them (integrity). This is useful for many applications, such as a finance, auditing, games and lotteries.
this... kind of suggests that the actual valuable service random.org is offering in their APIs is not any useful statistical property of 'true randomness' but rather auditability; being able to prove to a third party that your random numbers were actually random and you didn't fudge them. I mean, maybe this is meant as a nice bonus and not the core service? but I'm suspicious.
(a note on quantum generators: for most purposes these are just 'true' randomness generators except, uh, truer; if there's anything actually truly random in the universe rather than simply unpredictably chaotic it's that. for the most part I don't think this matters much unless you're very suspicious that atmospheric noise et al are actually more predictable than we think right now? oh and if you believe in the many-worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics using quantum dice would mean that you are guaranteeing there's a world where the diceroll went the other way, if that's a thing you want. or want to avoid, for that matter).
anyway yeah I'm suspicious of the alleged useful properties of 'true' randomness over PRNG for most applications and I'm eager to hear what I got wrong above.
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Babe think of it like a bundle deal, buy one get oen free.
Also question I have no clue what deuxmoi is aside from tumblr context but it kinda seems like ....just anyone can text them gossip? It feels way too much like the sun but online
yeah, thats basically it in a nutshell. You're 19, right? so the words "blind items." and "crazy days and nights" and "enty lawyer" mean nothing to you, right? On the off chance that you know what that is, deuxmoi is basically that.
If you, or anyone else on here needs clarification or curious about the history, read below:
So, there's this sick and toxic "tradition" in pop culture that started, like most toxic things, in the 90s and early 2000s. When the internet started becoming a thing. "Crazy Days and Nights" is the most prominent one (it's actually still operating today! you can go look up Matty on there....DON'T. But you can.) It's a website that an anonymous Entertainment Lawyer ("enty" for short) started back in the day. Because he works in the industry, he allegedly makes a lot of connections and friends in Hollywood who spill all the dirty secrets about Celebs "Jennifer Anniston was seen at an excessive afterparty kissing [insert name of celeb here]" or "i was in the bathroom at this award show and saw Meryl Streep snorting coke" or whatever. He started posting these things online on his website for people to read like a tabloid magazine.
BUT, cuz hes a lawyer, and accutely aware of the legal trouble that this would put him in, instead of telling us who it is by name, he'd just IMPLY SUPERRR HEAVILY IN A SUPER SPECIFIC WAY. like lets do Jennifer Anniston as an example. Instead of writing "Jennifer Anniston," he would say "actress who got famous in her 20s through a sitcom in the 90s about friendship." This way, if he got into any trouble he could say "Well it's ambiguous enough to either be about Jennifer, Courtney, or Lisa. Or really any actress on any sitcom in the 90s." You see what I mean?
He then escalated it even more where he would do one night a week/month and post "reveals." like something that he posted on his page as a simple "rumor." that then turned out to be true a month later through the news or public celeb appearances etc. he would then remove the overly specific description and say who it is cuz its no longer a secret.
Over the years, he started getting a lot of industry outsiders who write in anonymously saying "im a cater waiter at the grammies and i saw x y z" or "I'm a personal assistant to a blonde pop star and i saw this and that" and his page because the main "blind item" (blind cuz it keeps the names secret) hotspot for the internet.
NOW, fast forward to today, Deuxmoi is exactly this. except they "updated it" where its not a blog with email tips. It's an instagram, page, podcast. etc. And whereas "Enty" has "limits" stuff he won't posy about, keeping peoples names out of it, "verifying" sources before posting, etc. Deuxmoi doesn't give a shit. They (i think its 3 people who run the whole thing) will post just about anything. Even if it's contradicting stuff they've posted before lmaooo. and they dont check their sources or do any vetting or whatever. they just stir shit up.
THUS ENDS MY LECTURE ON WEIRD CELEB GOSSIP!
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kotokoharrow · 2 years
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So, we need to talk about Mikoto.
I’m sure you’re all intelligent people who know better than to take your understanding of a complex, highly stigmatised mental health condition from a YouTube series, but as a person with DID, I still feel compelled to make a post talking about the realities of the condition.
Whenever DID is represented in media, it’s shown as something flashy and eccentric, as well as often being associated with murderers, or at least violence. This makes it difficult for those of us with DID to reach out for support; I know multiple people with DID who, upon telling their support network about their condition, were met with jokes (and sometimes serious comments) about whether they’re violent.
So, take this as DID 101. At the end of this post I will include my masterpost of DID resources, which I strongly recommend checking out if you have any interest in this condition (especially if you’re a fan of Mikoto and plan to make analyses of him). Deco*27 may have no interest in understanding the reality of DID, but you can do better.
Please note that I am overlooking a lot of nuance in this post because I want people to understand the pure basics of DID. The resources linked at the end go into far more detail, and given that many of them come from medical sources or professional advocates, are far more reliable than just some guy on tumblr.
So, what is DID?
DID stands for Dissociative Identity Disorder. It’s a condition that forms in response to repeated early childhood trauma, most often abuse from a caregiver, but other forms of interpersonal trauma can also cause it.
As children, our brains are hardwired to attach to our caregivers no matter what, because that’s how we stay alive. Our caregivers give us food and shelter, they give us protection from strangers, they give us affection and attention, all things that are necessary for healthy development. Because of this, even if a caregiver is abusive, a child is still wired to attach.
One way that a child can ‘cope’ with having an abusive caregiver is by denying the abuse. The brain dissociates (disconnects/denies/fails to integrate) from the abuse, seeing it as happening to ‘some other child’. This process is called splitting. 
The part of the child that copes with daily life becomes amnesic of the abuse, or at the very least emotionally disconnects from and downplays it, while the part of the child that copes with the abuse develops their own sense of identity based around the experiences that they cope with.
Now that the brain has learnt splitting as a coping mechanism, it can continue to split for any experience that overwhelms the person’s ability to cope, creating more dissociative parts that may or may not develop their own senses of identity.
DID is a disorder that often forms in the face of violence, but this does not mean that the dissociative parts are violent, themselves. It is common for dissociative parts to hold repressed anger, or to be based on external abusers, but this does not make them violent or abusive themselves. It is common for those with DID to experience intense internal conflict and self-directed violence, but not to express other-directed violence, outside of situations where fight/flight is triggered.
What if someone with DID did commit a crime?
DID has been used as a defence in criminal cases before. However, within the DID community, there is an acknowledgement of the fact that every part is responsible for the behaviour of one part.
Despite the way that media may like to act, DID is not ‘multiple people living in one body’. It is one person with multiple, often radically different ways of perceiving themselves. One person with a fragmented sense of self. One person who experiences amnesia.
Due to this, if a part committed a crime, the entire person with DID would be responsible for it.
Something else to keep in mind about DID is this- because a person with DID is still one person, morals don’t radically differ between parts, unless there is a trauma-based reason for it. So, if one part is willing to commit murder, outside of any external pressures, that means every part is okay with it on some level.
What’s the harm of Milgram’s portrayal of DID?
Outside of what I mentioned in the introduction to this post, many people with DID are deeply afraid of their parts when they first discover that they have this condition. It’s a disorder based around denial of intolerable experiences. Fear and avoidance are central to how the disorder forms and maintains itself.
Many people with DID feel out of control when their parts ‘front’ (take control of the body), even moreso if they experience more intense amnesia and can’t remember what their parts do, or if their parts experience overwhelming anger/pain/fear that they struggle to understand.
Many people with DID struggle to understand their parts ways of thinking, belief systems and needs. This causes internal conflict that maintains dissociation. It is one of the major hurdles to recovery.
Media portraying people with DID as violent and murderous doesn’t help. Many people with DID do not realise that their parts will have the same morals/ethics that they have. Many people with DID are afraid of what their parts may do. The normalisation of DID as a disorder that causes violence makes this worse.
Many people with DID also experience shame of their condition. Shame is a very common emotion in survivors, and it causes many people to keep their trauma a secret, even from those who could support them. Many people will keep their condition to themselves due to not wanting to be seen as violent, and not wanting to have to educate people about the realities of their experiences.
Milgram has a huge issue of using mental illness as a shock-factor, both with Mikoto and Haruka. While this isn’t intended as a callout or to tell people to stop watching Milgram (I have every intention to continue watching, after all), I do want to encourage people to be critical and understand that the way mental health conditions, symptoms and behaviours are being associated with violence and ‘creepy’ imagery is not okay.
If you would like to learn more about DID, I have a document of resources here. The document is periodically updated, and includes resources about childhood trauma, attachment trauma, other disorders and coping skills, along with resources about DID specifically.
Thank you for reading.
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