Tumgik
#based off how when my sister and i were younger our grandma would sit in her rocking chair with us in her arms
moo-moo-meadows · 3 years
Note
can i,,, can i maybe get smth soft abt michael & ranboo....
Aw ofc! It ended up being a little more hurt/comfort than i intended for it, but like.. idk. there was a prompt in my head and i ran with it, though idk how well it is fdhsdfs
send me writing prompts pls
ranboo gathers the piglin into his arms, shushing him gently as he cries out in his sleep, groans and grunts sounding pained, even scared. tubbo sits by the ladder, watching them with tired, tired eyes.
snowchester was a place built upon nightmares, both the living and unwaking. a sanctuary in its own right, but the hauntings never truly stop. he and tubbo know it well, a mutual understanding despite not knowing the specifics. it’s not something they need to know. they both keep their secrets, and that’s fine. but ranboo knows. through the many nights where tubbo would be roused from sleep and seem to be drawn, by some otherworldly force, to their window, where his eyes search for something beyond the falling snow.
and he knows tubbo knows. when he calls out to him and ranboo doesn’t reply, his eyes glazed, everything about him seeming to be elsewhere. and waking up, later, with no recollection of it at all. he only wishes that the same could not be said for their son, and yet…
michael squirms in his arms, seeming stuck between wanting to bury his face into ranboo’s chest or not wanting ranboo to touch any part of him at all. it’s not often it gets this bad. ranboo’s not sure if its the harsh climate, simultaneously numbing yet also sharp, a harsh contrast to the blistering nether the piglin was born in, that makes his existence here so painful, or if it’s something else. he could only hope that, as a parent, whatever he does is for the benefit and betterment of michael. everything he and tubbo does is for him.
“do you think the instant damage potions would help?” he mumbles, just loud enough for tubbo to hear. the other boy draws closer, rests his hand on top of michael’s shivering head, which seems to still for a moment under his touch.
“not sure, but i think just being here and holding him helps.” ranboo adjusts his grip, gathers him closer, pressing a kiss just above his floppy ear. he gingerly sits down, trying not to stir michael too much, relaxing into the seat, though his arms are still wound tight around michael’s small frame.
“you can go back to sleep, i’ll wait here until he calms down,” tubbo nods, standing there for a moment before taking the blanket from michael’s bed and draping it across the two of them.
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alicemitch09writes · 3 years
Text
(un)loving miya atsumu
fourteen.
loving miya atsumu
Dear Atsumu,
I hate how much your face is the first thing that comes to mind when I think about the word - ‘happiness’ and ‘love’. Happiness, because it radiates off your bones, no matter the situation, in court when up against strong opponents, thwarting plays with a setter dump or when you’re up serving, or when pulling off nasty quicks with your brother or any other player, off court when you fight with Osamu over the last ice cream at the convenience store, when you share a stupid joke with your dad, or even when you’re with the people you care about. Love, because you do everything with just the right to too much amount of love, pouring your everything in it, pouring your heart in the things that make you happy may it be volleyball, Osamu, your family, Mika- not a single wasted opportunity to convey your love and happiness. Nobody compares the way you do.
You’ve set a standard for almost everything, which is why you expect nothing for the best to be at the receiving end of both happiness and love.
I hope you know that to me; you are the embodiment of both happiness and love. Because I really hate how you remain the embodiment of these two words I have difficulty expressing.
Your name literally translates to 'to devour' and in a sense, you are someone who happily, readily accepts love and happiness on a daily basis, allowing it to fill you up to the core and share it with everyone.
You are everything that is everything – the sun after a stormy day, the sunshine in my veins, the kiss of the wind against my skin, the light to my darkness, my sunflower. You are everything to me, and to you, I offer, my whole heart, which you don’t have to worry returning, because it’s yours. Always has been.
     - (Y/N)’s letter, 1 out of 13
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"MIKA!" launching yourself at your big sister, engulfing in a hug, the two of you laughed. Breaking away, you held your older sister an arm's length, taking her in. "You're home! You're here!" The excitement was evident in your tone, a bit of confusion as well, at the joyful arrival of your big sister.
"Just thought I'd surprise you!"
Frowning slightly, you ask again. "But how about school?"
"I'm on break!"
"Alexander and Pien?"
"The family's currently on vacation in Spain," sensing another question coming, she furthers. "the parents were the ones who arranged this trip, because they know it would mean the world to me and I would never want to miss my little sister's big day."
The grin on your face softened, engulfing your sister into a hug again. "I'm just so happy you're here,"
"Me, too."
Despite everything that went down, before anything else in the world, this was your sister – your best friend by design. After months apart, talking to her virtually for a year, having her in person was such a delight. Seeing her home was probably the best graduation gift you could ask more.
Swaying into your hug, relishing in the feeling of her touch, Mika slowly opens her eyes, seeing the twins, finally remembering that they weren't alone.
"Oh, no! I'm so sorry!" dropping the hug, she turns to the twins. "Atsumu, Osamu, hello!"
"Welcome back, Mika-nee," says Osamu.
"H-Hey Mika-nee," Atsumu stutters.
Something unsettled in your belly, coming at a screeching halt at the reunion. You could feel Osamu's eyes on you. Balling your hands into fists, you swallowed that ugly feeling, wearing a smile on.
"Shall we head inside?" Nobody seemed to notice the slight crack in your voice, which you were thankful for. Lowering your head, your eyes easily found your graduation pin, a reminder. 
Atsumu, however, seemed out of it. Even in the presence of his first love, he didn't seem the least happy to see her. In fact, he almost looked, dare you say, troubled.
While the three of you were taking off your shoes, the house filled with joyous noises from both families, you turned to the blond-dyed teen worriedly.
"Atsumu, are you alright?"
Is he alright? How was he supposed to feel? Mika was right there! Mika, the person he's been in love with since he was 9. Love, right? She's always been his standard, the perfect girl for some just as perfect as him. Boyfriend be damned. Mika was there. Mika was here. Shouldn't he be happy?
"Atsumu?" At the sound of your voice, he worked on a feeble smile, worrying you even more.
Snapping out of it, he quirks his lips up. Before you can say another word, his grandparents come barrelling down the hall to greet you three.
Atsumu's smile was worrying.
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"How I've missed Japanese food!" Mika gushes at the table, eyes bright at the food on display – especially at the seafood, care of your uncle (of course).
Laughing, the twins' father turns to her. "What's wrong with Dutch food, Mika-chan?"
Aside from sushi, there was an assortment of dishes like tempura, sauteed vegetables, salad, grilled meat, roast beef and chicken, and two cakes. With a feast like this, calling for the occasion, it was enough to water anyone’s mouth.                                          
"It's alright, but kinda bland." they laugh at that.
You sat next to your sister, Kaoru on your other side. Across you sat the twins, Atsumu directly in front of you. Catching his eye, he quirked his lips up – smile seeming forced.
Your mom was all smiles, lifting her glass up. “Well now, let’s make a toast to our graduates!”
"To our bright and wonderful children!” your uncle seconds, joyfully, loudly. “To Atsumu, Osamu, and (Y/N)! Cheers!"
"Cheers!" Everyone was clinking their glasses against each other before digging in.
The adults were usually doing the talking, exchanging pleasantries about this and that, while the youngins were on a world of their own. It only made sense why the (extended) table was divided into two – young and old.
Lifting his gaze, Atsumu could see you chatting up with his grandparents, a pleasing and polite smile on your face. As his grandma was sharing about her newest hobby, you were wiping Kaoru’s face clean, much to the younger boy’s displeasure.
“Atsumu, I hear you’ve been scouted by a pro-league?”
Suddenly called by Mika, he was suddenly on the spot. Normally, he would preen, just to keep those bright (e/c) eyes on him. When in truth, he wants another pair of eyes on him.
“Oh, uh…yeah, that’s right.”
“Pfft, what kinda energy is that?” booms his dad’s voice, ringing throughout the room. “Give it more life, Atsumu!” Beside him, his mom pats her husband’s arm, smiling per usual, but had a loving look in her eyes.
“What team are you joining?”
“MSBY Black Jackals,” he replies, staring at his plate. “they’re based in Osaka.”
Atsumu still remembers the day you approached him, shared with him how a scout agent had approached you first, then asked for Atsumu’s contact information. He was so over the moon after you told him that.
“Oh! So it’s close by!”
“Yeah.”
“That’s nice, you don’t have to worry about university and just continue doing what you do best. I’m jealous.”
Atsumu works on a faint smile, happy to hear it.
You watched the whole exchange from the corner of your eye, taking a bite of sushi before washing it down with soda, swallowing down the lump in your throat as well.
“Nee-san,” something pat at the corners of your mouth, Kaoru grinning. “your mouth was messy!”
Smiling, you could only pat his head in gratitude. “Thank you, Kaoru.”
“And how about (Y/N)-chan?” the Miya’s grandmother asked you suddenly, bringing the attention to you.
Now at the center of attention, you set down your plate. “Um…I’ll be studying at Hiroshima University.”
“Hiroshima! That’s four hours away from here?” whines the twins’ mom, to which your uncle and mom shrugs easily.
“Well, it was her decision.”
“Waseda was also in her list, but she opted for Hiroshima University.”
Nearly choking on his drink, the twins’ father turns to you. “Wa-Waseda!?”
“Dad, calm down!” Atsumu berates, embarrassed. Beside him, Osamu just helps himself to another serving, handing his grandfather another, too.
“Don’t underestimate Waseda, Atsumu! That’s one of the most prestigious schools in Japan!”
Atsumu knows that very well, because you told them about it. Just that…
“Well, she didn’t pass.” Huffs your uncle, but goes on to explain rather excitedly. “So she went for the next big thing – Hiroshima University!”
“Dad, didn’t we already tell you this?” Osamu frowns, rice sticking to his cheek. “We also told you she passed the exams.”
Their dad deflated at that, scratching at his cheek. “A-Ah, eh…you know your old man, he’s getting old and his memory’s failing him.” Everyone in the table laughs, even young Kaoru!
“Still, Hiroshima’s a long way from here, (Y/N)-chan,” their grandfather turns to you. “Why not join Osamu at Kobe University? Or Atsumu in Osaka at Kansai University?”
Shrugging, you reached over to refill his glass. “I wanted a change of pace, I guess. Also,” sitting back, you brushed strands of hair behind your ear, exposing your conch piercing. “I had a bit of epiphany when we had our class excursion there.”
The adults smile at your words, Mika, most especially.
“Well, I know you’ll do well there which is why we want you to have this,” from his pocket, the twins’ grandfather produced three envelopes – for you, Osamu, and Atsumu. To say that the three of you were shocked would be an understatement. “Here,”
Ever so carefully, the three of you took the envelope with both hands.
“Go on, open it!” says their mom excitedly, recording with their phone.
“OH MY GOD MOM, YOU’RE EMBARRASSING US!”
“Open, open!” their grandmother clapped her hands excitedly, sharing the same sweet smile as her husband.
Glancing at each other, the three of you seemed to share the same idea.
“On three?”
Nod.
“One,”
“Two,”
“Three!”
Outside the window, the wind blew, sending a draft it in (L/N) household. One glance and you were greeted by a world painted in pink hues, blushes of nature come in falling petals – spring has come alright.
In your subdivision, there was only one cherry blossom tree that was planted in the playground just behind your house. At the epicentre of your neighbourhood, like a heartbeat that connected each household to its beating. When spring comes, it blooms, shedding off its petals, scattering against the wind everywhere – for everyone to see.
A chance to bring spring into their homes, to enjoy moments like these without having to worry about leaving. Like a hanami at home.
“Ohhh.”
“…we got money.”
“Granny, Gramps, thank you so much!”
“Use the money wisely now!”
“I’m jealous,” Mika tells you, watching the twins. “you three got to share moments like these, have been for years. But now,” her smile falters a bit. “you’re off on your separate ways. Will you be okay?”
Your big sister will always be your best friend, one deigned to you since you were born and because of blood. But having friends of your own was another story, especially worth noting just how quiet you can be, which is why when they moved to Hyogo and were introduced to the twins, it made her feel settled. The three of you were inseparable, always together, a bond she envied.
At this point in your life, there was no denying the consequences of growing up.
“We all have our own different dreams and ambitions, so it’s only normal that we chase after it.” Taking a sip of your drink, your eyes catch on Osamu. “Osamu’s not as ambitious as his brother, but he’s just as competitive – especially when it comes to his future and happiness.”
“True, but a shame that he’s not going pro like his brother, they would be such a team!”
It would, years of watching them grow together was enough of a testament. The most powerful twins in volleyball.
“They’ll always have volleyball and each other. But when it comes to happiness, that’s another story.” Recalling Osamu’s soft gaze on the finished onigiri he made, the tale he shared afterwards. “Osamu’s happiness in with cooking and food.”
Humming, Mika takes her own drink, sipping in.
“And the thing with Atsumu is that’s he’s always looking forward, never once settling on the past knowing that it will hold him back. In fact, he’s always looking ahead that he tends to forget what he’s doing in present time.”
“It sounds like he’s taken to heart your club motto, huh? ‘We don’t need memories’.”
It was such a powerful motto – moving and inspiring all at once. From the moment your eyes saw Inarizaki’s banner when you were young to the moment you became manager, that motto has stuck with you the most. You love that motto, love its implication and even took it by heart.
“We can’t always be ruled by our past after all.” You set your drink down. “How else are we going to move forward?”
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Atsumu stared at the ceiling before him, having given up tossing and turning for the past few hours. After the third hour, he threw in the towel – he was restless, unable to fall asleep from everything that’s happened today. It’s as though he found himself at an impasse – unsure of what he’s been holding on to, unable to comprehend how he should feel with everything going on.
Mika was home. Feelings he’s had for her…surfaced. He thinks. Atsumu broke into a sigh, sitting up, he was a mess.
Suddenly, he heard rummaging from below him, muted light glowing from below.
“’Samu?” he called out.
“Ah, shit.” Osamu craned his head, meeting his eyes. “Sorry, ‘Tsumu. Did I wake you?”
Shaking his head, Atsumu noted that Osamu was dressed up. “Where’re you headed?”
“Out.” He pockets his phone and wallet away.
“By yourself?” When his brother shakes his head, Atsumu shifts from his spot, asking again. “With whom?”
“…with (Y/N).”
Atsumu was silent for a while, coming to realization how Osamu sneaks out a lot in the past. It shouldn’t be a question and should be easy to tell who he usually hung out with late at night.
“Can I come?”
Osamu’s blinked at that. Atsumu waits, hopes. He watches as his brother looks at his phone, then back to his brother. Eventually, he exhales through his nose, wearing a half-smile as he nods slowly.
“Yeah, come on.”
Smiling, Atsumu feels excited as he gets down from his bunk and quickly changes. Following his brother's lead, ever so quietly the twins trudge out of the house, careful not to make any loud noises (which honestly, they shouldn't even bother for everyone in their family were heavy sleepers), door closing shut behind him. It amazed Atsumu how his brother does it all with practiced eased.
Spring evening was chilly, biting at his skin, nipping his nose. Good thing he thought of putting on his hoodie.
Together, the twins head out their house, bypassing their gate and turn, towards the (L/N) house next door where a figure waited.
Dressed in an oversized hoodie that stopped by your mid thighs, gazing up at the night sky in thought, in waiting.
"Yo, (Y/N)."
Lowering your head, (e/c) eyes widened slightly once realizing your best friend didn't come alone. At this, Atsumu raised a hand in greeting.
"Hey, (Y/N). Mind if I tag along?"
You shrug easily, standing to your full height. "Sure, why not."
Spring night was cool and crisp, biting almost – remnants from winter’s past.
Three teens walk along their quiet neighbourhood, cruising along houses for some few blocks until reaching a brightly lit establishment just next to the main road.
Upon entering the store, the cashier – a smiling, tired-looking woman, nods at Osamu and you, eyes shining in familiarity. A recurrence, it seems. Despite the wee hours of the night, the stillness of the silence, bright lights flooded the establishment with a multitude of goods lined up, budget meals prepped and ready, everything seemed liked a sight for any customer.
Following after Osamu, the two cruised through the aisles, his brother grabbing some chips and a seasonal onigiri, the twins nearly towering over. Reaching the end, he felt a chill, realizing he was by the frozen section, with you eyeing the selection with pursed lips.
"Aren't you full from all the food we ate earlier?" Atsumu laughs, standing next to you.
"Lest you forget, Osamu has a black hole for a stomach. I'm on my period, so I have cravings." Saying this, you stare at the selection of ice cream.
"How about curfew?" You were such a stickler for rules, this was so new to him.
Shrugging, you picked up strawberry and chocolate brownie. "Osamu and I sometimes pass off as adults. Plus, this neighborhood tends to be complacent when it comes to curfew."
He smirks. "So you're using that to your advantage, huh? Smart girl."
Your only reply was bumping your shoulder against his, putting the strawberry ice cream in his hands. Which he decidedly takes.
Over your meals, the three of you share laugh, meals, and talks. Unable to help himself, and taking a page from his mother, Atsumu takes a selfie to commemorate the moment, uploading instantly to his social media.
To any other bystander – or whoever sees Atsumu’s selfie, it was nothing more than a teenage hang out with your childhood friend and brother. Rather picturesque of perfect innocence, measured smiles, occasional banter highlighted only by the lights of the sleepy convenience store, saturated by the spring evening.
A moment that sent a lurch down each of your hearts at the knowledge that moments like these were numbered. Caught up in the moment, Atsumu desperately wished for time to freeze, wishing his life was always like this.
Nostalgia filled the night, between childhood friends – like that year of silence meant nothing. It was enough to choke Atsumu, bring him to tears with how much he's missed this. Memories from his past painted into his present with bright hues and ink, he wanted them to stay, etched on his skin - unready to have them washed away when the morning comings.
Late-night snacks ended up with the twins sneaking their game console to the (L/N)'s household, talks continue even as you three were playing video games until the wee hours of the morrow, filled with more talks that piled conversation over conversation, talking as though they had a clue – leaving you all breaking into fits of silly laughter.
Just as you landed second in Mario Kart, Osamu conked out first.
"I swear, he sleeps like a fucking log," Atsumu says, watching you carefully set Osamu's head on your lap, patting his head gently.
Smiling softly, you carefully take the blanket you snuck and tucked him in, and yourself, too. Atsumu stood to turn off the console and the TV, filling the room in darkness. However, the glow from the moon outside was enough to illuminate the living room.
"You'll be heading off to Hiroshima, right?" he whispers, reaffirming the question thrown to you earlier that day, you nod. "Wow,” sitting next to you, on the edge of the sofa, he settles in. “big step."
"I figured that I'd like to open my horizon, have a new pace."
Atsumu remembered the peaceful look on your face when they had their class excursion there, smiling at the memory and a bit on the history of the city.
"Like a fresh new beginning, huh?"
Nodding, eyes beginning to droop, Atsumu carefully brings your head to his chest, falling back. "Like you...you'll be off to Osaka...for MSBY Black Jack'ls" you slur. "Osamu's staying here..."
Humming, he brushes away hair from your face, listening to your voice against Osamu's snores.
"You seem t'be doin' fine," he almost laughs at how thick your Kansai was when you were on the brink of sleep. "'ve always been." Taking an inhale, through your exhale you say, "you don't need me, Atsumu, you never have." and then you slipped off to sleep.
How he envied the friendship you had with Osamu, the one thing that connected you both in the first place. Taking your left hand in his, fingers slotting together, scarred fingers touching against each other, he noses at your forehead, lips a hairsbreadth away from your skin.
“Oh, you have no idea just how wrong you are, (Y/N).” lips pressed the lightest kiss, the moon and the stars as his witness. “I’ll always need you.”
You must've heard him in your sleep, because you were smiling, adorably. It was the last sight he saw before Atsumu slipped off, as well. 
Dawn broke out slowly, as it always did in Hyogo, light streaming, searching almost for signs of life in the living room. With the sun slowly making its way up, light follows upwards, eventually finding three bodies knocked out in the living room - sleeping rather awkwardly with two boys sandwiching a girl, peaceful, lost in silence. Somewhat, it was a familiar sight.
Waking up to the smell of breakfast, Atsumu woke with a start, blinking wearily as he took in his surroundings. Right, he snuck out with Osamu and stayed over at the (L/N)’s.
Lifting his head, a ghost of a smile found its way on his face when a mop of (h/c) came to view, your hand still in his. Strands of hair littered your face, which he quickly swept away, causing you to stir.
"Good morning, sleepyheads!" a cheery voice greeted from the kitchen. "Hope you like pancakes!"
Fresh out of bed, with her hair in a messy bun with an apron on was Mika, she looked pretty, adorable even. Atsumu should've been happy by the sight of this, captivated even. But he felt nothing.
At the mention of pancakes, Osamu sleepily lifts his head, in alert, eyes still pinched close. Slowly, you rose from Atsumu’s chest, having used it as a pillow last night, rubbing at your eyes.
“Mornin’ (Y/N),” he laughs.
Blinking your eyes open, with the sight of Atsumu in front of you, between his legs, realizing your sleeping position from last night, instantly your face heated, darkened. “A-Atsumu! A-Ah…Um…G-Good morning…” folding his legs back, he did a stretch, Osamu slowly coming to beside you. “Did you sleep well? Does your neck hurt? Your back?”
Your concern was honestly adorable – like your morning self, it made his heart warm.
“No worries, I slept great!”
True to his word, the rest of the morning went swimmingly over heaps of pancake and another selfie.
“I fear you’ll be taking after your mother in that aspect.”
“Wow, selfie whore.”
“SHUT IT, ‘SAMU!”
After breakfast, the twins had to head back home, to greet their grandparents while you started packing. When lunch came, the twins were back – freshly changed and all. At the sight of them, your mom couldn’t help gushing that ‘it takes me back!’ to which your uncle laughed at heartily, welcoming the boys in before they both left for work.
“Oi, Kaoru what’re you doing?” Osamu asked, watching how as your brother stood on a dining chair he grabbed, pushed it against the wall as he reached up, tying something by the window.
Squinting, you asked. “Is…that a teru teru bozu?”
“Yep!” he smiled, letting the doll face outside, getting another balled-up doll from his pocket. “Nee-san’s birthday’s in a few days, don’t want it to rain then!”
“Kaoru, aren’t you a little too old for superstitions?”
“I’m only 13!”
“Yes, but there’s no scientific proof that they prevent rain from coming. Plus, it’s spring, it’s not so hot of a season for rain to fall.”
Miffed by your explanation, he turned, nearly toppling over had he not righted himself quickly. “You don’t know that, nee-san!” Kaoru hopped off the chair, pouting at you.
“Yeah, what the brother boy said!” Atsumu seconded.
“Better safe than sorry!”
You could only sip on your drink in reply, hiding the smile. Osamu gave you a funny look, amused.
“Plus, it has to be sunny on nee-san’s birthday! We’re going to-“ before Kaoru could finish, Mika appeared, slapping a hand on his mouth.
“Hey, how about I make us pasta for lunch?”
Instantly, Kaoru’s face brightened. “Yay, pasta!”
“By the way, (Y/N),” she calls to you. “Reiki’s coming over with the pizza you like that his friend makes, the spinach one and garlic shrimp?”
At the mention of the aforementioned pizzas, your lips quickly quirk up. It was so hard to find those specific flavors around Kobe, the last time you had them was probably before Mika left. Thankfully, Reiki, being the social butterfly that he was, knew a lot of people.
“Your boyfriend has my many thanks,”
Mika laughs, making you realize a little too late on the words that left your mouth. Sliding your eyes to Atsumu, you were surprised to find that he seemed relatively fine, cordial even.
When Reiki came with the pizzas later, pasta ready and waiting, you all feasted, but not before Atsumu insisted on a selfie with everyone.
“I swear, you’re turning to Ma and it’s scaring me,” Osamu tells his brother with a disgusted frown.
“Watch your mouth, ‘Samu that’s still our Ma!” Atsumu angrily bites off his pizza. “Is it so wrong to capture moments frozen in time!?”
“Wow, that was a rather poetic way of saying it,” you noted, nodding your thanks at Reiki would gave you two slices each of the pizzas.
“Come on now, let’s not fight!” Reiki says calmly, undeterred by the twins. “Let’s just eat, yeah?”
A long-distance relationship seemed to work fine for your sister and Reiki. Clearly, distance makes the heart fonder with how lovey-dovey they seemed. A peek over at Atsumu, and you’d half-expect him to go batshit crazy. But no. If anything, he seemed perfectly fine.
“Atsumu, do you have a minute?”
As Atsumu walked off with your sister, you could only watch, lips quirking into a smile. For some reason, you felt fine with that, too.
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It was probably when they first moved to Hyogo that Atsumu’s eyes fell to Mika, the ever-smiling, ever-kind oldest daughter. There were plenty of reasons to like her: she was pleasant, polite, pretty, smart, athletic, and kind. For years, Atsumu has always set her as his standard for his ideal woman, even assured himself that he was at her level (which shouldn’t be so hard, thanks to his genetics).
For the first time in the forever, he thought of finally confessing to her his feelings, that chance that he’s waiting for so long.
And yet, as the two enter the backyard, the door sliding shut behind him, Atsumu turns to Mika, with a question that’s been burning on to the back of his head for a while now.
"Why did you do it?"
"Huh?" Mika looks up in surprise, letting go of the door handle.
"Why'd you to talk to him?" Atsumu felt his patience running thin, anger building.
Mika's perfect face falls into confusion, exposing the cracks underneath. This was clearly not what she intended to talk about, but Atsumu didn’t care, he was leading this conversation now. Honestly, it feels like he’s finally seeing her for who she really is – for the first time, the rosy lenses he had of her were torn away.
Him, being their dad.
Pressing her lips together, a fist to her mouth, contemplating on her response. "...I just...I wanted..."
"A connection?" he finishes for her, an educated guess.
Mika nodded. "He's still my dad, you know? I just thought...I could get to know him..."
"And that hurt (Y/N) in the process," Atsumu threw out, rather impatiently, almost accusingly. "did you know that?"
Pain crosses over her face, bleeding through from her eyes down to the upturn of her lips, hands fisting on her chest.
"Maybe you wanted a relationship with him,” shaking his head, he thinks of you “but not (Y/N)." Of all his memories with you, one where he's caught your eyes on their dad, feeling his stomach twist at the longing in your eyes, hurt him the most. You may have had your uncle, but having your own father was a different thing. You told him that Mika was studying psychology, he couldn’t help but think how ironic that was.
"I'm not perfect, Atsumu."
Atsumu scoffed. "Don't I know that?"
He was an older sibling himself. Older by five minutes, he was still regarded as the oldest, has as much responsibility despite that minute difference.
"Older siblings aren't perfect," Mika says. "We make mistakes, we hurt people, even our siblings." She very clearly wanted to discuss something else, something that clearly wasn’t this. But now that Atsumu’s taken control, she felt herself lose rights.
"Did you tell him about our graduation?"
Mika fell silent, mouth pulled into a line.
That was enough of an answer.
Atsumu tried to imagine how the young you must have felt, the horrors you had to face, to witness, how your young, impressionable mind just paused and came to a screeching halt, to a horrible realization of how fucked up everything was now - he could only feel immeasurable pain, choking him. When that happened, did it also take away the life and spark in your eyes? The joy of life?
He loved his dad very much, his dad was one of the best men in his life who always encouraged him and Osamu to pursue their dreams, always at the frontline for them, and loved his whole family. Had he done what your dad did, he would also feel just as crushed. What he did was inexcusable – to you, to Mika, to your brother, to your mom. Scums like him didn't deserve a second chance.
"I can't believe you did that."
Without waiting for her to reply, Atsumu walked back inside the house, back to where his brother and you were.
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Late at night, you stare up at the ceiling, hugging ‘Inari’ – the fox plushie given to you by the trouble children – close to your chest. Mind filled with thoughts, just swimming over you.
Earlier, Atsumu had walked back in the house, the same worrying smile from a few days ago, eyes losing its usual luster. Yet, he assured you that it was nothing, ruffling your hair affectionately.
Mika then walked back in the house, all smiles – but even she had a weary looking smile. Before you could approach her, Reiki rushed to her side and the two scurried to the kitchen. Thankfully, Kaoru, hadn’t picked up on this, busy trying to beat his two nii-sans in Smash.
Shifting your head to the side, to where Mika’s bed was, your sister was dead to the world, deep in her slumber – peaceful and calm. Lifting yourself from your bed, covers dropping, ever so carefully you dropped your feet to the cold floor. Still hugging Inari, you walked away from your bed and to one of the boxes, staring at the contents – some books, stationary.
Bending down, you dig through, careful not to make a sound. From the box, you pulled out a wooden picture frame, hand painted blue, with sunflowers sticking on the top left, a few petals on the upper and lower. And in frame was the photo of the Inarizaki Volleyball Club. It was taken the moment everyone returned from Tokyo. Smiling fondly, fingers smoothed over the sunflowers, taking in everyone’s smiles.
At the center of the photo was you, sandwiched between Atsumu and Osamu, wearing wide grins. When your juniors handed you the frame, you were so sure you’d break out then and there. But it didn’t end there, because Coach Kurosu – tears spilling down his face, gave you his gift, too. Gently setting Inari down, frame sitting next to him, you plucked a small, thick, black cloth.
Sitting crossed legged, you opened it up, smiling at the familiar kanji of the club’s motto.
‘We Don’t Need Memories’
“Such a powerful statement,” you whisper into the silence.
Kita once shared that he wasn’t a fan of the motto – being a man brought by the small things, on how doing the minimum on a daily basis is already enough of an assurance for any needless worries. Yet, it fires him up when he’s up with his team mates.
Coach Kurosu also mentioned, overly fond of the motto, that nothing should ever hold you back from the challenges that life will hurl at you.
Smoothing over the smooth kanji characters, a wave of memories rushed over you – first stepping into the gym, applying as manager the same time the twins had their try-outs, introducing yourself as manager before the twins engulfed you into a hug, seeing Aran again, meeting Kita and the rest of your seniors, meeting Suna, Ginjima, and the rest of the team, being there when the twins got their jerseys, their first official match, making your way to nationals, the twins debuting their dyed hairs, the incident, Kita’s captaincy, him berating you for resigning and convincing you to stay, the painful and cold second year, walking out during preliminaries, breaking down in the club room, having to tell Atsumu he was chosen for the Youth Camp, meeting Sho-chan at nationals, resigning only to be brought back, arcades with the trouble children, sunflowers given by the juniors on your birthday, training in Asano and Yoshimichi, training the new recruits, warmer days in the club, nationals with with Sho-chan, smacking Atsumu in the face, the retirement and turning over, graduation – so many great memories, good and bad. They were definitely the time of your life, if not, the greatest. A chapter that’s come to a close, but filled with so many turning points.
Patting the banner affectionately, a single tear slips down your face, landing on the banner, what a deep tangent you’ve found yourself in.
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March 23, your birthday.
It fell on a Sunday, on a perfect sun shiny day, just as your family had expected.
On your birthday, it was decided that it would be spent at Sunflower Hill Park at Ono. Seeing as it was a special day, everyone had to dress their best – you included, being the birthday girl. Mika immediately busied herself prettying you up, even getting you to finally wear the dress that Kita had gifted you sometime back. It’s been gathering dust in the closet since he gave it, unsure on when to wear it.
“It’s just my birthday,” you grumbled, Mika immediately shushing you busily brushing your hair aside to work on your eyes, her face pinched into concentration.
“It’s not ‘just your birthday’, (Y/N).” she says, lighting brushing over your eyes. Setting down her eyeshadow palette, she picks up a blush set, instructing you to smile, exposing your dimples.
“19,” you say aloud, announcing to the world freely. “I’m at the peak of my adulthood.”
“You know, you’ve always been an adult all your life.” Mika teases, brush circling your dimples. “But that doesn’t mean you should be down on your birthday.”
“Studies show that it’s only natural to have birthday disappointments the older you get.” You rebuke, watching her frown cutely, setting her blush down, brandishing a mascara in her hand.
“And studies also show that you don’t always have to have that kind of mindset,” she rebukes back, twirling her mascara madly before taking out the wand. “Open your eyes and look up.”
Gulping, you do as she says, feeling the wand passing down your lashes.
“Birthday disappointments can also be stemmed from high expectations – either from childhood or from adolescence. And here’s the hard truth: you actually want to celebrate your birthday, but you just don’t know how to tell people.”
Capping her mascara, she instructs you to close your eyes, which you do, before you’re assaulted with a mist-like spray all over your face. When she tells you to open, you find yourself staring at yourself in the mirror – struck at the person staring back at you. Mika did a great job, highlighting your features, brightening your whole face, it was easy to see now the resemblance between you two.
“We’re not mind readers, (Y/N), we’re your family. And because we love you, we want to celebrate the day you came to bless our lives,” Mika smiles, smoothing your hair.
Helping you put on your dress, even lending you her sandals, she added some finishing touches like earrings and a sun brim hat.
“I look like those stereotypical animes shown in the summer.” You comment about your reflection in the mirror, to which Mika rolls her eyes at.
“Would you stop, you look beautiful!”
Taking her words with a grain of salt – seeing how pretty she was in her own dress, you smiled and the two of you walk out the room.
“Are you two done, now- Ah, how pretty!” coos your mother, pressing her hands to her mouth, eyes watering.
“Mom, you’re being dramatic-“
“My girls are so pretty! Especially the birthday girl!”
Beside you, Mika looks pleased with herself, especially at her work.
“Happy birthday, sweetie,” says your mom, taking your face in her hands, pressing a kiss on your forehead.
Swallowing down hard, fighting off tears that have strangely formed, you smile at her. “Thanks mom.”
“Alright, let’s go down now! Everyone’s waiting for us!”
Anxiety rose up, heart in your chest as you three descended the stairs, where you could hear people chatting about in the living room. Everyone was there – your uncle, Kaoru, Reiki, the Miyas, even the twins. It was Atsumu who saw you first, doing a double take, taking you in.
And then his mom squealed at the sight of you. “Ah!!!!! (Y/N)-chan, you look so pretty!” everyone turns to you, much to your horror. “Happy birthday, sweet girl!” she says.
“…thank you, Auntie.” Your voice was quiet, raspy.
Being the center of attention, everyone’s smiles on you was unnerving.
Self-consciously, you duck under their gazes, face burning.
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To your surprise, your family had long planned this together with the Miyas. What made it extra special was the fact that it was just days after the three of you graduated and of Mika’s return. An outing of two families, in a field of little suns spread across the field.
At the sight of tall, bright yellow and brown flowers, your eyes sparkled in child-like wonder. Sensing your excitement, Mika, with her uncle’s camera slung around her neck, hooked her arm around yours, giggling and pulling you further in the park, leaving Atsumu and the rest to follow after.
The adults were discussing amongst themselves, discussing where they should set up, Reiki happily stuck around them, ever ready to help around, while Kaoru was running off to join his sisters. Alone with his brother, Osamu elbows him.
"Is something wrong with you and Mika-nee?" Osamu asks him, feeling the breeze against his skin.
On the way to Ono, with the twins, you, Mika, and Reiki, in Reiki’s car, there was a noticeable avoidance between Atsumu and Mika. However, the two easily played it off. Mika was busy chatting up with her boyfriend, Atsumu looked over your shoulder, as you answered birthday greetings.
Even way before that, the two of them were masterful in their way of seeming fine, but when they interacted, it felt rather stiff.
Sighing, Atsumu’s eyes found Kaoru, who was giggling as Mika was getting you to pose in front of flowers, you, clearly embarrassed, tried to talk your way out of it.
"I confronted her about their dad," Atsumu grumbles, hands in his pocket. Eventually, you caved in your sister’s whims, posing demurely, before Kaoru cheered you to try other poses.
Osamu's eyes widened. "Are you an idiot!? Why would you-"
"Did you know that she also told him about our graduation?"
Osamu stopped at that, at its implication, their eyes going to the older (L/N) sister, showing the photos to you.
"Damn."
"I know. Pretty shitty of her."
"Wow, 'Tsumu badmouthing Mika-nee, that's new."
Scoffing, he lifted his head to meet his brother’s. "What the fuck does that mean?"
Shrugging easily, Osamu explains, as their parents walk southward into the park, where an open area for picnic was. "Almost a year ago, you were nothing but praises for her, wouldn’t shut up about her on and on and on.” Breathing out a laugh, he shakes his head when he adds. “Heck, even if she farted you'd think it was cute."
Atsumu's face wrinkles, cringes. "That was before."
“Still,” walking ahead, he stares his brother down, feeling a chill run down his spine. “you never let us forget. Never let (Y/N) forget that.”
Up ahead, the (L/N) siblings were soon joined by Reiki, who took the camera from Mika, opting to take photos of the siblings. (Y/N), who was sandwiched between her older and younger sibling, all smiles for the camera.
“A year ago, it was as though your mission was to make (Y/N) feel so shitty about yourself, all because of your stupid little crush. It took her finally deciding to leave for you to snap out of it.”
Swallowing thickly, Atsumu vaguely remembered that moment of panic, like something had clawed into his chest. Immediately, he feels a sense of shame – for everything he had done to you.
"'Tsumu, you realize that you never said you're sorry to (Y/N), right?"
The hardest pill to swallow was realizing that despite the year he’s had, devoted to making up to you, it just wasn’t enough. Actions may speak louder than words, but just saying those words were just as important. Especially because it was worth noting that, sometimes, Atsumu’s actions can be contradicting to his words and may confuse you. You, who’s suffered quietly all this time, who forced themselves to power through, who unselfishly put others before yourself.
“I’m way past that now,” determination was thick in his tone, strong in his words.
Osamu felt proud to see it, loved to see it. They were nearing their parents – who finally found a nice picnic spot, just right next to the playground hustle.
"Didn't you say that Mika-nee was your one true love?" he couldn’t help but say, egging on his brother, never letting him down on his fuck up.
Osamu nearly fell back as Atsumu tackled him, slapping a hand to his mouth, lest anyone heard it. "KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, SHITTY 'SAMU!"
"Wasn't she though!?"
"I was a kid!" he reasoned out. "I didn't know shit!"
"Clearly still don't now!" Osamu yelled slapping his brother's hand away from his face.
"FUCK YOU!"
"Now, now, Atsumu, Osamu, no fighting on (Y/N)'s special day!" calls their dad, hands on his hips. Beside him was their mom, smiling as she took photos of the sunflowers all around them.
"Oh, oh, oh, sweetie, let's take a photo with the birthday girl!" hooking her arm around her husband's she didn't give him time to back out before dragging him with her, smiling sweetly at her sons. "And no fighting, Atsumu, Osamu, it's a special day!"
Speaking of special day, Atsumu’s eyes turned to the fields, where you were – feeling his heart settle at your familiar frame, your gentle expression as you gazed at the vibrant yellow sunflowers. He remembered that field trip when they were younger, remembered where your eyes were staring, dug through the display when no one was looking and snuck it in his bag, feeling giddy all over, remembered the smile that came to your face.
It was brighter than any of the sunflowers.
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Under the clear blue skies, the sun was shining bright, smiling down on everyone – especially a particular group down at Ono Sunflower Hill Park, circling a girl dressed in white, balloons in hands, all wearing smiles as they sang to greet her.
Their singing echoed out in the field, the wind carrying on their love for the girl in the middle, the girl whose heart was just filled with love with everyone around her.
A simple white cake, decorated in the same flowers that surrounded them was presented to her, and a single candle stood alit, waiting.
When the singing dwindled down, the girl stared at her cake, closed her eyes, and then blew.
She was now 19.
What a lovely day to be loved, feel loved, and be celebrated by love.
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Emboldened by his talk with Osamu, brought also by epiphany, Atsumu finds himself carefully approaching Mika.
“Mika-nee, can we talk?”
Reiki, having sensed the mood, excused himself, but not before kissing his girlfriend on the forehead and taking Kaoru with him away from the playground.
Squirming under his gaze, remembering his blow-up on her days before, she fixes him a pleading look. "Atsumu, look, I don't want to fight with you-"
"I'm not sorry for blowing up on you like that, Mika-nee.” He starts, meaning every word. “But I am sorry for intruding into your family business. I just care for (Y/N), she's..." he swallows thickly. "she's been through so much."
Mika’s expression softens, eyes shining. "You really care a great deal about (Y/N), huh?"
“Always have, always will.”
“I’m glad.”
Mika smiles sweetly at him, fiddling with her hands. “It’s just…he’s still my dad, what he did was unforgivable, but the idea of reconnecting with him,” she sniffles, wiping a tear. “how could I not? And then I thought, that maybe (Y/N) would be on board with the idea…” she shakes her head, laughing incredulously. “Clearly, I forgot that I can’t force it on her, can’t fix the trauma he did.” Her face pinches, pained and regret.
The old Atsumu would have rushed and comforted her, assured her that she did great. Emphasis on the old, the Atsumu now just stared, letting her wallow on her mistake.
Covering her face, she groaned into it, before fixing herself up, slapping her cheeks together. “Wooh! How embarrassing of me! Looks like I’ve got a long way to go!” she laughs. Atsumu can’t help but laugh with her.
Even now, her ability to smile through the pain, shoulder her burdens, amazes him. There was a reason he admired this young woman before him, but seeing her open up to her flaws made him admire her even more.
And then he felt it, the urge, something clawing at his chest, words that needed to be said.
“Mika-nee, actually,” the older girl looks up at him, waits patiently. “I…I like you.” Back when he was younger, he had envisioned the perfect confession – something almost like this, with the sun setting behind them, painting them in the afterglow. That was one of his two options for confessing, the other being in the letter he poured his heart in, with your help. “I liked you, Mika-nee.”
It feels freeing to finally say that, to let the person know how much they meant to them. Even if it were no longer the case.
She smiles, sweetly again. “I know.”
Atsumu looks up at her, surprised. Mika’s smile remains.
“E-Eh?”
“I received your letter,” his eyes widen, confusion crawling over. “(Y/N) snuck it into my things before I left for the Netherlands.”
You did that for him? You.
Looking back, his eyes could only widen, realizing that it had been during the incident. Atsumu is assaulted with guilt all over again, brought by your unselfishness, just unsure with what he could say.
“I always thought that it would be the two of you, you know? You three were thick as thieves, enough to rival the three musketeers. But you and (Y/N)? I always felt like there was a great bond between you two.”
“N-Nee-san…actually…I-“ Everything he did to you in the year following the incident came to mind, his self-hate rising, Mika deserved to know.
Instead, she gently shakes her head. “It’s not me you should be telling that to, Atsumu. It’s (Y/N).” taking his arm in her hand, she cups his chin, (e/c) eyes meeting his honey browns, smiling and squeezing on to him arm encouragingly. “Go.”
Coming to, he nods and quickly starts running. Before fully leaving the playground, Mika calls him. “Oh, and Atsumu? Thank you so much for your feelings!”
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“Osamu,”
“Hm?”
“Remember when you told me about your first love?”
“…yeah.” He sighs, heavily. “The umeboshi to my onigiri.”
“That’s a funny analogy,” with your arm over his, you leaned against his shoulder as the two of you walked along the pat. “but very fitting for someone you love.”
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it off. What’s yours?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” you look to the field.
“Ah, yes.” Osamu nods, following your gaze. “Sunflowers.”
Leaning against his arm, you murmur. “…he’s my sunflower, Osamu.”
Osamu doesn’t say anything for a while, watching how Kaoru and Reiki raced beside them. Two people missing from their group. “I know he is.”
“And you’re my chicken noodle soup.”
He snorts, looking down at you. “Why?”
“It’s my comfort food, remember? Also, you’re my best friend. You should feel honored.”
“Strange analogy you got there.” He waves at his grandparents, enjoying themselves watch the children play in the fountains.
“Not as strange as your umeboshi and onigiri,” you remind him, teasingly.
Rolling his eyes at that, he can’t deny the gentleness of your voice, its weight and wistfulness.
“Thanks for being my best friend, Osamu.”
Patting his hand over yours, he replies. “Always.”
Breaking away, you smile gratefully at him. He lets you walk off from him, taking a new path.
“Stop sounding like you’re about to die, (Y/N). S’not funny.”
Laughing, you could only tuck your hands behind you. “I’m just feeling nostalgic!”
“Where’re you going?”
“For a walk!”
“Geez, aren’t you tired of walking?”
“Nope,” and you walk further in the new path, Osamu watches you go, but doesn’t follow.
With all his heart, he wishes, for your birthday, all the best for you. Keeping his eyes on white, it slowly shrinks as you walk further and further, away and away, until you were out of sight.
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Huffing and puffing, he looked around wildly, searching for (h/c) in a white dress. Atsumu almost cursed at how big of an area the park was, felt pathetic that he was winded out after some runs – he was a fucking athlete, god damn it! About to join a pro-fucking-league-
"Are you looking for someone?" a voice asked him, turning, Atsumu nearly sagged in relief when he found who he was looking for.
You.
"You," he says breathlessly, lips stretched into a wide smile.
Your face scrunched into a light frown, wondering, before producing a handkerchief in your hands, patting his sweaty face. “Have you been running around the park?”
“Nah, just now.” Your frown softens a bit. “Like I said, I was looking for you.”
Tilting your head to the side, confused, you asked. “Why?”
Atsumu opened his mouth, only to stop, realization getting the best of him. Shiiiiiiit.
Suddenly shy, he laughed it off, nervously, uncaring that people were looking at him funny. Concerned washed over your features, which warmed him from the inside, especially with you looking at him all pretty like that. But heck, even without the makeup, you were something else.
“Come on,” you opened a hand to him, an invitation.
Atsumu stared at it, at the scar on your middle finger. Placing his in yours, his larger hand over yours, the two of you began to walk hand-in-hand. You took him by the fields, deep in, as though to hide you amongst the flowers, to be one with them, to a secret place for you both.
For all his life, he couldn’t imagine having to miss out on the feeling, like everything he’s known his whole life is nothing compared to the bright, vibrant yellows and browns around him, in the girl dressed in white, leading him through. And he let you.
How is it that he’s never noticed? Why had he never thought of seeing you? It feels as though he’s led a life blind.
With a tug, the two of you exit the field and into a clearing, all Atsumu can focus on was your smile.
“I’ve always wanted to do that,” you laugh, walking a few steps to the path. “walking across a sunflower field, I mean.”
Atsumu can’t keep his eyes off your smile, even as the both of you sit on the grass, facing the famed 'Sunflower Tower' made of Mikage granite.
The two of you found yourselves in your little hideaway, with nothing but the sky, the sun, the flowers, and the tower, and of course, each other.
“Sounds like something fresh outta a fairy tale,”
Nodding, you fold your legs, drawing your knees near. “Sunflowers are quite tall, after all. Tall and tough flowers.”
“Like me?”
Laughing, your turn to him, staring at him for a while. “Maybe. Especially with your blond dye.”
At the mention of his hair, he runs a hand through it. “…I’m, uh, thinking of keeping it.”
“You should,” your eyes follow his hands carding through his hair, dark roots slowly showing through. “it’ll be your signature look.”
Running a hand through the back of his hair, he fists them there, unable to look away from you.
You.
Amazing, smart, patient, kind, selfless, beautiful you.
“(Y/N)…” your name came easy through his mouth.
Tilting your head, letting strands of hair slip off your shoulders, you parrot back, “Atsumu…”
Just when did everything seem to feel different between you two? And just how long had he missed the way you look bathed in the sunlight?
Fidgeting a little, Atsumu could feel his strength leave him, being at the receiving end of your gaze. However, looking up, he also draws strength from them.
“I, uh, I kept them,” at your frowned confusion, he shyly – oh so quietly, adds, “your letters.”
Immediately, your face burns, feeling goosebumps run all over your spine. “Ugh,” slapping your hands over your eyes, you wish you could also slap the cringe away. “why.”
Atsumu smiles, despite your apparent horror, shrugging easily.
“It’s a reminder, I guess. A reminder that someone actually liked me. Genuinely and truly. Thought of me. Appreciated me. Written and practically poured her heart out in paper, when it’s the fucking twenty first century. Living proof that someone did that for me, but I was the asshole who humiliated her for something so genuine and heartfelt.”
You would’ve argued then and there, having seen the many love letters he and his brother received from his fan club over the years. And yet, the only one he recognizes are yours.
“Atsumu,” words were failing you, so you just sighed. “that’s behind us now.”
But the look on his face wouldn’t go away, eyes darkening – a dangerous storm brewing, festering.
"You can't return my feelings,” you say kindly. “that's not your fault neither is it your problem."
"Y-Yeah, but I could at least try to-"
"Atsumu, stop. Just, stop.” Turning to him, you take his hand in yours – the one with a scar, fingers rubbing comfortingly. “Please.” You’ve thought about it for a while, a long while, it needed to be said. “I'm not going to force you to like me back, it's not right and it's just wrong. Just because I liked you doesn't mean you're obligated to return my feelings when you clearly don't like me like that. That's that."
"B-But-"
"Besides, I've already accepted it – that my feelings can't reach you." swallowing down it all - the heartache and pain, you lifted your gaze and offered a smile. "If all you're worried about is me forgiving you, rest assured that I have."
"But I don't deserve your forgiveness!" he all but screams, shocking you, his eyes were wet and filled with so much remorse, pain, helplessness, and regret. "I've been an ass to you, (Y/N)! I hurt you while you were already hurting," he remembered having to listen to your cries, muffled behind your hands, the forced smiles, the pained look in your eyes, your back turned to him, his panic of not being able to find you during practice. The realization of the distance between both of you because of him. "I walked around you even though you were breaking from the inside. I might as well be worse than your deadbeat, asshole of a father because I wasn't there for you. I hurt you just as he did! I failed you! I-I-"
A gentle hand touched his elbow, shaking him, he looks up, meeting your kind (e/c) gaze. And that smile, that same kind smile that stretched to your eyes, reflecting an oh so loving gaze he knew he didn't deserve. Even without saying a word, you understood everything he wanted to say, all the sorries that's been resting on his tongue, heavy with the weight of his sins, of the burdens of hurting you, of the love he's had and continue to have for you.
He didn't deserve you.
You didn't deserve him.
But you both loved each other just as much.
"(Y-Y/N)," his voice was barely a whisper, wet and croaking. "I'm so sorry...!"
Enveloping you into a hug, he cries into your shoulder, repeatedly saying “I’m sorry” over and over again.
And you just hold him, caressing his head with your other hand.
“I’ll always love you, Atsumu,” your confession just tore at him, tears leaking more. “you will always be my first love, and that will never change.”
Atsumu hugs you tighter, cries harder. “I love you, too.”
When you let go, there was a smile on your face – a radiant, bright, reflected in your eyes that it brightened up your whole face. Like a sunflower greeting the sun, Atsumu found himself smiling, too. Released from the embrace, in his eyes, he feels his heart fill with a bittersweet sense of warmth and twinge.
Despite it all, it still felt good. It felt really good. Talking to you, settling things with you, loving you – it felt right.
Certain people come into our lives whether we like it or not, and you were no exception.
Sadly, just because you came into their life doesn’t automatically guarantee that they’ll stay with you forever. You can only have them for a time.
One of them may end up as your first love, but it's not guaranteed that they will be your last. They'll be just that - your first love, the first person you offered your heart to, but not the person who gets to keep it.
You were his forever person, the first love he realized too late.
end.
235 notes · View notes
marvelatthetwilight · 3 years
Text
Found in Forks
A/N: A quick one. To satisfy an Emmett shaped need in this story.
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Y/N’s POV
Months had passed since we had declared our love, solidifying my bond with Paul. We were inseparable. I couldn’t bear to spend time without him, and even in his company, I NEEDED to be as close to him as possible.
When the pack were discussing the threat of the newborn army I couldn’t help my nerves from making my legs shake, my foot tapping against the leg of the table. Paul reached over and squeezed my hand. He gave me a look that said it’ll be ok. I was desperate to believe that was true.
“We are meeting the Cullens in an hour to train.” Sam said after hanging up the phone to Carlisle.
I felt Paul shake with anger beside me and a growl left his lips. “Why do we need to train, we’ve hunted bloodsuckers before?” He said, whilst I curled up against him to dissipate his anger, he wrapped his arm around me and kissed the top of my head.
“Carlisle said this will be different, we need to trust them right now Paul. This threat isn’t just for them, we need to protect the reservation” the pack nodded at this and Paul didn’t press any further.
Everyone split off after this, with Quil and Embry heading off on patrol, agreeing to meet in the field in an hour. I turn in my seat to look Paul in the eye. “I want to come to training.”
Paul laughs, then sees the serious look in my eye and shakes his head. “Nope, not happening. I’m not putting you at risk by taking you to the bloodsuckers. That’s ridiculous.”
I place a hand on either side of his face and look deep into his eyes.
“I need this. I need to see that you will be ok. If I see you train it’ll make me feel better, help me to visualise you winning. Please Paul.” I try my best puppy dog eyes that I know he can’t refuse and he huffs in reply.
“Fine. But you will NOT be leaving my side, promise?”
“As if I ever would.” I reply and he pulls me tight towards him, kissing my forehead.
“I love you Y/N” he looks down at me, his eyes now softer.
“And I love you” I smile up at him and kiss him softly on the lips.
~~~
We had made it to the agreed field, with the Cullens already standing waiting. I could see Bella who Jacob always talking about was standing there too, recognising her from school, so I’m not the only human here. I send a small wave and a smile in her direction and she waved back, surprised to see me with the pack. Edward whispers something to her and she nods in understanding.
I slide off of Paul’s back once we come to a stop, and he gestures for me to take a seat in the grass. He lays down beside me once I am seated.
I look across at the Cullens, my first opportunity to see the whole family, having only seen the “children” briefly at school before.
Your eyes land on Emmett. You remember him from school, sitting in the cafeteria with the other Cullens, and you are reminded how much he looks like your dad and your grandpa. The similarities are uncanny. Images of your dad and your grandpa flash in your head as you compare them to the cold one you see in front of you. Weird.
You glance away and see Edward staring at you, a look of realisation on his face. Paul growls from beside you and you stroke the fur around his face before leaning your head against him. “Oh be quiet Paul, he’s doing nothing wrong” you whisper to him. He huffs before turning his attention to Carlisle, who begins to address the pack.
“Welcome, Jasper has experience with the newborns, and will teach us how to defeat them.”
Paul nods slightly beside you.
“They want to know how the newborns differ from us” Edward says as he reads the packs’ minds, Paul had told you about the gifts they possessed on your way to the meeting.
“They’re a great deal stronger than us because their own human blood lingers in their tissues. Our kind is never more physically powerful than in our first several months of this life” Carlisle explains. You shudder at this thought, fearful for your friends and Paul. As if sensing this he leans towards you, and your body relaxes with the contact.
Jasper steps forward, and addresses the pack. “A newborn army doesn’t need thousands like a human army. But no human army can stand against them. Now the two most important things to remember are; first, never let them get their arms around you, they’ll crush you instantly. The second, never go for the obvious kill, they’ll be expecting that, and you will lose.”
The Cullens begin to demonstrate fighting, as Jasper narrates, advising the pack on what to do, or what not to do in some cases.
As the training comes to an end, Jared and Paul head off for patrol, Embry and Quill promising to get you back to Emily’s safely as they wait for you to finish talking to Bella.
“I’m so sorry the pack need to be involved Y/N.” Bella says quietly, an apologetic look on her face.
“The threat is a risk to everyone, including the reservation, they would help whether you ask them to or not, it’s just what they’re like.” You say with a smile as you watch Embry and Quil practise some techniques with Jasper.
“Y/N” Edward joins Bella, an arm quickly wrapped around her, pulling her close to his side.
“Edward, nice to see you again.” You were briefly lab partners a couple of years ago and you always appreciated how little he talked, no awkward small talk, unlike some of your peers. Little did you know that he also appreciated working with you, your mind was never filled with the inane gossip of your classmates.
“I don’t know if Paul has told you, but I can...hear people’s thoughts. I didn’t want to alarm you but I need to talk to you about something you thought about when you first got here” you nodded slowly, trying to remember what you had thought about.
“Erm...ok? I can’t remember what it was though?”
“It was when you were looking at Emmett, you thought he showed some similarity to some family members?” He motions for Emmett to join them.
“I’ve always thought it, but dismissed it before as it was ridiculous. He looks exactly like my dad and my grandpa, I’m sure my grandma has some photos of my grandpa when he was younger in one of her photo albums and he looks identical”.
Emmett appears at Edward’s side just as you finish talking. He frowns slightly and then asks; “where are your family from Y/N?”
“Erm...well my dad was born here in Forks but my grandpa was from Tennessee...Gatlinburg I think my grandma said.”
Emmett’s eyebrows dart up in shock and shortly after Edward’s expression changes to shocked too. Emmett walks closer, not worrying about the distracted wolves.
“What was your grandpa’s name Y/N?”
“Ernest Y/L/N”
Emmett smiles a big smile, and turns to Edward, then motions for Rosalie to join them. He squeezes Rosalie’s hand, excitement showing on his face.
“Y/N, I think your grandpa was my nephew. My older sister Mary was his mother, Mary Y/L/N. That makes me your great-great uncle!”
You laugh at this, moving forward to hug Emmett, he picks you up, wrapping his large arms around you. This draws attention from Embry and Quil, who quickly realised that Paul would destroy them if anything happened to you. They move forward quickly, as if they are going to attack before Edward steps in front of you and Emmett trying to explain.
“They’ve just discovered they’re related, it’s a hug! He isn’t attacking her.”
The wolves look at each other, then back at you as Emmett sets you back on the ground.
“I’m fine guys, just happy!”
You turn your attention back to Emmett as he speaks again, “when I died I worried about my family a lot, I was the only son, I was strong and provided for them when my dad got too old. I left them some money, but after we moved away I never found out what happened. Now I know!”
You smile at this. “My grandpa always used to tell us stories about his uncle when we were younger, he was wild, he used to say, really strong, and an amazing hunter. He said they were all devastated when you were eaten by a bear...”
Emmett looks sad at this.
“Were they ok though, how did Ernest end up here?”
“I’m not really sure, but my grandpa owned a hunting shop just outside of Forks, they were comfortable I think. My dad is a lawyer, based out of Seattle during the week, then he comes home to Forks at the weekends. My grandpa saved up to put dad through school, he was so proud of him.”
A smile returns to Emmett’s face, as he thinks about his nephew, hard working like him, providing for his family.
Rosalie walks over and wraps an arm around his waist. “So all these years of wondering, wanting to go back to Tennessee to try and find them and you’ve found your family in Forks?”
“Looks like it babe!” He ruffles your hair as he speaks and you try to swat his arm away.
“I’m so happy to meet you Y/N, I’ve spent years wondering, and now I know.” You smile at your great-great uncle, wishing you could tell your family. Edward heard this and walks to your side, placing his hand on your shoulder.
“You are welcome to our house anytime, you’re part of the family now...with...er...wolf bodyguards of course” he adds as he glances to the wolves growling behind you.
You laugh as you look at the wolves, then back at the Cullens. I’m so lucky to have found so many people to call family.
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fridayfirefly · 3 years
Text
Two Birds [Part Two]
Read Two Birds on AO3
Masterlist [All Works]
Masterlist [Two Birds Series]
For Maribat March Day 31 - Reunion
The school trip to Gotham was supposed to be fun. It was supposed to be a reward to the class, a celebration of the recent defeat of Hawkmoth by Ladybug and Chat Noir. Marinette wanted to celebrate. She really didn't want to cry on the trip. Yet, as the plane touched down in Gotham, Marinette was staring out the plane window at the rain and the setting sun, rubbing her eyes, trying her best to brush away the tears before they formed.
"Are you okay, Marinette?" Alya looked over at Marinette, concern visible on her face.
Marinette nodded weakly, blinking away the wetness in her eyes. "I'm fine. I just... I have some bad memories associated with Gotham. One of my childhood friends... his parents were murdered on a trip to Gotham and I lost contact with him after that. It's always been a very raw subject for me."
Alya opened her mouth to respond, but before she could get a word out, Lila leaned across the aisle to interrupt the conversation. "Your childhood friend's parents were murdered on a trip to Gotham? It's okay to admit that you're scared of Gotham because of the supervillains. You don't have to come up with some outlandish story for why you're upset."
Marinette glared over at Lila, her eyes shiny from both her tears and her anger. "I wasn't talking to you, Lila, but for your information, I'm not making up a story. I wouldn't lie about the death of my friend's parents. I hate liars."
Lila flinched back, her eyes wide and innocent. "I'm sorry, Marinette. I just wanted to make sure that you knew that you could tell the truth. We wouldn't judge you for it."
Alya frowned, giving Lila a stern look. "Lila, Marinette is seriously upset. I don't think that this is the right time to lecture her."
"Oh, of course." As soon as Alya turned away from her, Lila's expression was murderous. Marinette could care less. She turned away and ignored Lila, not in the mood to deal with the liar's taunts. If she could just hold back her tears until they got off the plane, maybe she could pretend that it was the rain that was making her face wet.
It took an hour to get from the plane to the hotel room, and that hour was torture for Marinette, who spent the entire journey holding back tears. As soon as Alya shut the door to their hotel room with a click, Marinette finally let herself cry, curling up into a ball on the hotel bed.
Marinette felt Alya wrapped her arms around her in a hug. "I've got you, Marinette. It'll be okay."
Marinette didn't know how long she cried for. All she knew was that when the tears finally stopped, the sky had gone dark outside. "What time is it?"
"It's a little past eight. I texted Nino to tell Ms. Bustier that you weren't feeling well, so she won't be bothering you with any class president duties tonight."
"Thanks." Marinette shifted herself from lying on her side to sitting up. "Have I ever told you what happened to Dick?"
Alya shook her head. "You've mentioned him a few times, but only that you two were friends when you were younger, and then lost touch."
Marinette sighed. "It all started when I was nine years old. My Grandma Gina was babysitting me for the weekend. She was old friends with the ringmaster of a circus that was in Paris, so she took me there to stay the weekend. That was where I met Dick and his parents..."
Marinette told the story in bursts, stopping to cry every few minutes when she got too emotional to continue. "...And I never spoke to him again after that. Gotham's foster care records aren't open to the public, and I stopped myself from Googling his name a long time ago. It just hurts too much to get my hopes up."
Alya wrapped Marinette up in another hug. "I'm sorry, Marinette. I wish there was something I could do to make this better."
"I think this trip might be good for me. It hurts a lot now, but I think once it's over I might finally feel a little more at peace."
"I hope so. But if there's ever any time where you need to just stop and let it all out, I'll be there for you."
"Thanks, Alya. You're the best."
Alya was Marinette's best friend, even if Alya was friends with Lila as well. That was Marinette's one regret - when she unmasked Hawkmoth and Mayura as Gabriel Agreste and Nathalie Sancour, there was no way to unmask Lila as a liar as well. Gabriel refused to name Lila as an accomplice, aware that admitting to having manipulated a teen girl into performing acts of terrorism wouldn't look good for him. So Lila was free to continue her reign of terror, though at least now Marinette could be rightfully angry with her, without fear of being akumatized.
----------
The class trip was partially sponsored by the Wayne Scholarship Foundation. Usually, the Wayne Scholarship Foundation only awarded scholarships, given to students all across America to pay for college, but after Hawkmoth's defeat and the media coverage that followed, a rather large sum was awarded to Marinette’s class for their bravery on the front lines of Hawkmoths' attacks. The Wayne Foundation organized tours and shows for them all over the city, starting with a tour of the Martha Wayne Memorial Botanical Gardens bright and early on the first morning of their trip. Then the class would go on a walking tour of Gotham during the afternoon, ending at a high-end sushi restaurant for dinner, followed by a night exploring East Hills Park during one of their famous firework shows. The late May day promised to be warm and sunny, so Marinette put on her favorite red floral sundress with a jean jacket overtop to hide the thin spaghetti straps, and sturdy tennis shoes to handle all of the walking she would be doing.
"Marinette!" gasped Lila as soon as Alya and Marinette walked into the main lobby. "Are you sure that your outfit is dress-code approved?"
Marinette rolled her eyes. "Yes, Lila. With my jacket on, this fits the dress code. I wouldn't make something that I can't wear."
"Okay. I was just checking. Your dress seemed a little too short to me, but I guess I just prefer something more modest."
As Lila walked away, Alya placed her hand on Marinette's shoulder in comfort. "I'm sure Lila didn't mean to come off as slut-shaming. I think she's just lashing out because wants to make sure you don't get in trouble for your outfit." Even Alya sounded uncertain of her explanation, as not even she believed herself. Without the support of Hawkmoth, Lila was no longer a cunning and calculated mastermind of manipulation. Now she was just a scared bully, desperately doing whatever she could to maintain her power over the class.
"Whatever," Marinette sighed. "I won't let her ruin my trip."
"That's the spirit. Besides, anyone with taste would know that your outfit looks super cute.”
Marinette smirked. "Are you saying that you don't think Lila has taste?"
"Definitely not as much taste as you. You're the Queen of Fashion Trends. You always look good." Alya put her arm around Marinette's shoulder. "Plus, you know better than to wear cowboy boots to school."
Marinette giggled as she remembered the incident. Lila came to school showing off her 'authentic' cowboy boots from America, seemingly unaware that they were the ugliest shoes anyone in their class had ever seen.
"You'll have a great day today, I promise." Alya walked with Marinette to the bus waiting outside. They got a seat up near the front, by Nino and Adrien.
Adrien had been the most affected by Hawkmoth's unmasking, given that it revealed his Father as a terrorist and his Mother as a coma-patient. All seemed lost for Adrien, as a team of Paris's best doctors revealed that Emilie Agreste was braid-dead. They planned on pulling the plug on Emilie's life support until, Amelie Graham de Vanily revealed that by combining the twin rings she and her sister owned with Ladybug's power of creation, together they had the power to bring Emilie back to life. Marinette was skeptical, after all, Amelie seemed to have ulterior motives in everything she did, but how could Marinette refuse when it was the only thing that she could do to help Adrien. In the end, she decided to help, no matter the consequences. Miraculously, it worked. Emilie was brought back to life and Adrien had a mother again.
However, in the aftermath of her decision, Marinette realized one crucial detail. In all of the chaos of deciding whether or not to work with Amelie, when she based her final decision on Adrien, she did it because he was her friend, not because he was her crush. At that moment, she realized that the overwhelming crush she had on Adrien since the age of thirteen had faded. In its place was a beautiful friendship.
"Good morning," chirped Adrien.
"What's up, dudes?" chimed in Nino.
"I can't believe we're here in Gotham. I thought our class trip to London was cool, but this is just incredible. I can't believe that the Wayne Foundation organized all of this for us," Alya gushed.
Marinette smiled. She knew that her friends deserved the vacation. Alya, Nino, and Adrien (though his involvement as Aspik was brief) all helped in the fight against Hawkmoth, even though they never revealed their superhero identities to each other. "What are you all most excited about?"
"I can't wait to see the Superhero Museum," said Alya. "I can't believe we were invited to the ribbon-cutting ceremony of the new exhibition."
"It is a celebration of the defeat of Hawkmoth. I suppose they wanted some real Parisians there to see it."
"I'm excited for Super: an American Musical, with the original cast. Did you guys know that this is their last week in Gotham before the show starts on Broadway!" Nino cheered.
Marinette smiled. "That is cool. I've heard that it's a fan favorite to win a Tony this year."
When all eyes landed on Adrien to answer the question, he shrugged. "I just want to experience everything. And take a lot of pictures. I promised my Mom that I would send her some."
"How about we take one now?" Marinette suggested.
Adrien nodded and the group of friends squeezed together to take a selfie.
"How about you, Marinette?"
"The Wayne Foundation Fundraising Gala," Marinette answered promptly. "It's one of the most influential events in fashion. I've heard that celebrities wear their second-best outfits to the Met Gala and save their best for the Wayne Gala. I know that the Wayne Foundation is paying for a shopping trip to pick out an outfit for the Gala, but I made my dress own and brought it here."
Alya laughed. "I should have guessed."
Marinette smiled sheepishly. "I couldn't resist. This is the first opportunity I've had to wear my newest creation."
"Do you have pictures of it?" asked Adrien.
Marinette shook her head. "I'm not showing anyone until the Gala. I'm keeping it safe in my room. I don't want to jinx anything."
"Hawkmoth is gone. We're in Gotham, living it up. Life is good." Alya summarized, and the whole group chimed in their agreement. Life was good.
----------
"Is everything in this city named after the Waynes?" asked Nino as they stepped off the bus in from of the Martha Wayne Memorial Botanical Gardens.
"The Waynes are one of the oldest and wealthiest families in Gotham. When you're that rich, life is just a game of buying your name onto as many buildings as possible," Adrien answered.
"The Waynes and their extraordinary money are the reason why we're here, so I'm willing to forgo making fun of everything they put their name on," Alya decided.
Once they got through the doors to the Botanical Garden, Marinette was entranced. Flowers of every shade surrounded her, the sound of rushing water and the rustling of leaves was the only thing she could hear, the smell of pollen and fresh air filled her lungs. It was heavenly.
"I'm Olivia, but you can all call me Liv," spoke the blonde tour guide as she approached the class. "I'll be giving you a tour of the Botanical Gardens, the largest sanctuary for endangered plants in New Jersey. We're known especially for our orchid garden, which we'll walk through at the end of our tour."
As the tour continued, Marinette noticed that one hallway was blocked off by a sign reading: Hydrangea Exhibition Coming This Fall.
Liv pointed out the hallway. "Down that hallway is the upcoming Hydrangea Exhibition, which is replacing the old New Jersey Wildflower exhibit. Now, I know you're all from out of town, but if you're even in Gotham again, make sure you check out the Botanical Gardens. We're always getting new exhibits-"
Liv was cut off by the sound of shattering glass. One of the panes of glass making up the room had been shattered, and shards rained down on screaming tourists. Marinette's eyes widened as she recognized Poison Ivy, lowering herself through the now opened ceiling on her vines. "You thought you could destroy the native vegetation of this city and get away with it? Nothing escapes my notice. Now, I would like to have a little chat with whoever's in charge here."
Liv motioned for all the students to get down, whispering, "As long as we stay out of Poison Ivy's way, we'll be perfectly fine. Just stay calm and stay quiet."
Marinette watched as the Director of the Botanical Gardens came out to reason with Poison Ivy. He pleaded with the villain, "We won't destroy any of the wildflower gardens, I swear. I'll make sure myself that the wildflower exhibit will be moved to public parks all across Gotham."
Poison Ivy shook her head. "That's not good enough. You think you can wash your hands of these flowers so long as someone else offers to take them? How long do you think the wildflower gardens will last without any sort of protection?"
"We'll make sure that the gardens are protected, I promise."
Narrowing her eyes, Poison Ivy gave the Director a cruel smile. "I hope for your sake, Mr. Joseph Hoffman of 524 Shelton Avenue, that nothing happens to those flowers. Otherwise..." Poison Ivy let the threat hang in the air, using her vines to ascend back up to the ceiling.
The next few moments were so chaotic and full of movement that Marinette couldn't quite piece together what had happened. All she knew was that one second Poison Ivy was leaving the way she came and the next second, Batman and Robin were facing her down in the middle of the Botanical Gardens.
"Oh, hello Batman, Robin. It's so nice to see you. I was just leaving though, so unless you want to fight me where all these plants - and civilians, I suppose - could get hurt, I would step out of my way."
"Poison Ivy, we both know that I can't just let you go free after you threatened this man's life."
Poison Ivy sighed dramatically. "Oh well, I gave you a chance. Now it looks like I'll have to start getting civilians involved. The villain's eyes panned over the room, her eyes just happening to make contact with Marinette's for a split second before Marinette looked away. But that split second was enough. Marinette felt vines start to wrap around her forearms, yanking her forward.
Marinette was pulled all the way over to Poison Ivy, Batman, and Robin, until she was stopped in between the villain and heroes. "What's your name?" Poison Ivy asked, a menacing smile on her face.
"M-Marinette," she stuttered out, eyes wide.
Batman's expression was stoic and unyielding, while Robin looked at her with wide, stunned eyes. Batman spoke, "Why don't we move this outside where no one - plants or civilians - will get hurt."
Poison Ivy nodded. "I will require a head start, though, so I'll keep my vines wrapped around Marinette's throat. As soon as I'm out of range the vines will go slack and she'll be able to go on with her day. However, if you start to come after me before then, I'll tighten my vines and poor little Marinette might not make it."
Marinette stiffened as the vines grew around her throat, just loose enough for her to take shallow breaths. Poison Ivy disappeared from view, but Marinette continued to stay perfectly still, desperately trying to slow her breathing before she hyperventilated. No one made a move toward Marinette, no one willing to risk the consequences of making a move while Poison Ivy could still control the vines.
After what felt like hours, but was really only about five minutes, the vines relaxed and fell to the floor. Marinette collapsed to the ground, lowering herself into the seated position so she could breathe a little bit easier.
"Are you alright?" asked Robin, kneeling next to her. "Are you having any trouble breathing?"
"I'm okay. I didn't get hurt. I was just scared."
Robin got up and held out his hand to help her to her feet. "Why don't we get you back with the rest of your group. Are you here with your family?"
Marinette shook her head. "I'm here on a school trip."
Robin walked Marinette over to her class, handing her off to Ms. Bustier, who let out a sigh of relief as she gently placed her hand on Marinette's shoulder. "I know that was a very scary situation, Marinette. If you would like, I can take you and Alya back to the hotel."
"No way!" protested Marinette. "I didn't even get hurt. Plus, we have the walking tour of Gotham today. I don't want to miss it."
"Are you sure?" Ms. Bustier glanced over toward Batman.
Batman joined the conversation, saying, "If Marinette prefers to continue her day as normal, then I would advise following Marinette's lead. Often, the best way to recover from an encounter with a villain is to go on with your life as normal."
Marinette nodded. "I want to stay with the rest of the class and go on with our day."
Ms. Bustier still looked hesitant but conceded anyway. "Alright. I think our tour of the Botanical Gardens is over, though. I doubt that they would let us continue, what with shattered glass all over the floors."
Liv led the group out of the building, commenting with a sigh, "It's a shame that Poison Ivy came and ruined the tour. The orchid garden is such an amazing exhibit, and now none of you will get to see it. Unless..." Liv glanced around. "There's no broken glass in the orchid garden, so I don't suppose why we couldn't leave the Botanical Garden through the side-exit past the orchid garden. What do you say, Marinette?"
Marinette smiled. "That sounds wonderful."
As the tour group turned to enter one of the hallways branching off of the main room, Marinette glanced behind her one last time. She made eye contact with Robin, who was watching her leave, an expression of wonder on his face. Marinette turned back around self-consciously rubbing the back of her neck. She wasn't sure why Robin looked at her like that. It wasn't a look that one would give a stranger, and yet they had never met before. Marinette thought it was odd, but the thought was gone from her mind as soon as her class entered the orchid garden. I'm here in Gotham for a week to have fun, she reminded herself, so no more investigating every strange occurrence.
----------
The walking tour of Gotham was just as fun and informative as Marinette anticipated, packed with interesting facts and amazing sights. She got a bunch of high-quality pictures of Gotham, good for putting in the blog post that Marinette (as class president) was in charge of putting together to go on the school website. Best of all, Lila didn't bother her for the whole tour. Even Lila knew that she couldn't bully Marinette and get away with it, after what Marinette had been through the morning.
The sushi restaurant was amazing too. Marinette had eaten sushi a few times before, but never anything as high-quality as what was served in the restaurant. Marinette decided that if this was what a field trip funded by the Wayne Foundation was like, then she was incredibly excited for the week to come.
Aside from the unfortunate interruption at the Botanical Garden, the day was perfect. Yet, Marinette couldn't stop thinking about the strange look on Robin's face. Had she done something wrong? Was she really safe from Poison Ivy? The thoughts lingered in her head, pestering her every time she felt safe and content.
"Listen up, class!" called out Ms. Bustier. "You'll all have exactly two hours to explore East Hills Park. The firework show starts in approximately half an hour, and ends half an hour before you have to meet up here, which should give you plenty enough time."
Marinette followed Adrien, Alya, and Nino off the bus and into the park. The group of friends started to explore the park, stumbling upon the statues and fountains that were scattered about the grounds.
"I found another Wayne!" Nino shouted from a few meters away. "This statue was dedicated to Patrick Wayne, who was Mayor of Gotham City - this was before they changed the name to just Gotham - from 1896-1904. His most notable achievement from his time in office was that he built over thirty new schools and eleven new library buildings in the city. He was known for his dedication to educating the City of Gotham."
It had become an inside joke between the group to try and find as many things in Gotham named after the Waynes as they could. The task turned out to be much less difficult than they had anticipated, so the group quickly switched tactics and began looking up the various Waynes to see what they actually did with their lives, to determine whether they deserved their names on the various buildings and statues of Gotham.
"He actually sounds like he deserved a statue," said Adrien, looking down at his phone at the Wikipedia article he had pulled up. "Not like Augustus Wayne, who never had a job and gambled away nearly a quarter of the Wayne fortune, yet still has a bridge and a fountain in this park named after him."
Marinette chimed in, "My favorite is Georgiana Wayne. Apparently, a reporter was harassing her over the fact that she was a divorcee and Theodore Wayne was her second husband, and she told that reporter to, quote, 'Fuck off, you lousy son of a bitch. If my husband doesn't mind that I am a divorcee, I don't see why you should.'"
"I wonder if she has any statues in the park," said Alya.
"I doubt it. Her Wikipedia article is only four paragraphs long."
Alya frowned. "That's a shame. Augustus Wayne does nothing of importance with his life and gets a whole bridge named after him, but Georgiana Wayne is a total badass in the 1920s and gets nothing."
"We'll have to bring it up with Bruce Wayne at the fundraising Gala," joked Marinette.
"Good idea." Alya glanced down at her phone. "It's almost time for the fireworks show to start. According to the class groupchat, everyone is gathering on the south shore of the duck pond. There are benches there, and it should have a good view."
"I'll meet you guys there," said Marinette. "I just want to get a few more pictures before it gets too dark."
Marinette started taking pictures of the fountains and flowerbeds, wandering aimlessly through the park. She was busy getting the best angle to take a picture of a maple tree framed by the sunset when she bumped into someone walking behind her.
"Oh, I'm so sorry-" Marinette began to apologize, but as soon as she recognized just who she bumped into she was at a loss for words. "Dick?"
"Marinette?" Dick's voice was deeper than Marinette remembered, yet still hauntingly familiar. His wide blue eyes stared into hers.
Marinette couldn't hold it together. She burst into tears, launching herself into his arms. "Dick, I thought I would never see you again. What are you doing here?"
"I heard your name on the news when they were reporting about Poison Ivy's vandalism at the Botanical Gardens. I did a little googling and found out about your class trip. It took a little digging into the Wayne Foundation website, but I found the approved itinerary for the trip and decided to track you down at East Hills Park. I knew I had to see you again."
"You did that for me?" Overhead the fireworks started going off, extravagant flashes of color that Marinette ignored completely. She couldn't tear her eyes off of Dick. When she imagined her reunion with him, she never really considered that he would be all grown up. No longer was Dick the twelve-year-old boy that Marinette remembered from her childhood. Dick was now five years older and sixteen inches taller.
"Of course I did. Marinette, I've missed you so much."
"I tried to get back in contact with you but Gotham's CPS refused to release any information to me. I kept calling and calling but they wouldn't tell me anything." The tears returned with a vengeance, and Marinette started to sob. "I gave up on finding you and I'm so sorry."
"I don't blame you. You have to know I don't blame you. It's me who should be apologizing. I could have tracked you down but I never did."
Marinette sniffled. "Why didn't you?"
"I was a coward." Marinette opened her mouth to protest but Dick cut her off. "I was scared of losing another person I loved. I shut everyone out and by the time I was ready to let people in again, I was afraid that you wouldn't want to be a part of my life again."
"What made you change your mind?" asked Marinette.
"No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't forget you. It was stupid of me to think that I ever could in the first place. You were my best friend Marinette. You still are, if you'll have me."
Dick looked at her with such longing that Marinette knew she could never deny him. Her face softened. "Of course I will."
"Thank you." Dick held onto Marinette tighter.
Marinette closed her eyes and melted into his embrace. The fireworks show continued, bathing the park in beautiful colors, but Marinette felt no need to watch it. She knew that she already had the most beautiful thing in the park in her arms.
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rosierocks30 · 3 years
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Hidden series Ch.22
Chapter 22: The Legendary of the Infinity Stones
(Gilbert)
Most of the day since Nathaniel had come home was dull. He had to spend time with Nathaniel with the queen. It was absurd how much he had to put effort in getting his old lover’s attention while Queen Historia who doesn’t try and received more attention. Luckily, he has a plan to make this blonde whore fall from Nathaniel’s grace. Few of the templars who were only loyal to Alexander had discovered the culprits of Levi’s escape. Oh this made him grin in joy when it was Historia and also Zeke’s younger brother, Eren Jaeger. He had already informed Alexander about Historia and Eren involved in Levi’s escape. 
Since a month had happened both Alexander and Gilbert were planning and waiting for the right time to execute the plan. At this moment, Gilly is about to meet Zeke Jaeger, the current leader of the Jaegerist. He wondered how Zeke would take in his little brother’s betrayal? Even though Eren was known to be one of the dangerous titan shifters, he was too overhead on his heels for the handmaiden. It’s such a shame he was not into men. Gilly had always wondered how good was he in bed? He heard so much of it from that other whore, Belia. It got him curious but annoyed at the same time. 
Gilbert quietly knocked on the door and heard Zeke’s voice for him to enter. He opened the door to enter the room and saw only Zeke and Yelena. They probably were having a deep conversation. “Good evening, Gilbert! What brings you here? Please have a seat.” Zeke politely greeted the other man. Yelena guides Gilly to a chair then goes to pour whiskey for all three of them. She handed one to Gilbert then to Zeke.
“I hope I’m not interrupting both of you. I do have a message from the Grandmaster that I think you want to know.” Gilbert said that this had Zeke and Yelena interested. 
“Oh really? What message does the Grandmaster have for me?” Zeke took a sip on his glass of whiskey. 
“He believes it’s time to have a new King since Nathaniel hadn’t kept his bargain of the deal to keep his crown by letting one of our most valuable assets escape.” Gilbert said. 
Zeke thought about it for a moment. “You mean about that monster Levi Ackerman escapee? I was disappointed when I heard Captain Levi had escaped.” 
“Yes, we all are. So, the Grandmaster and I have thought of putting the rightful ruler to the throne.” Gilbert kept talking. 
“Is Historia gaining her full power to rule? That’s very bold for the Grandmaster to assume she will comply.” Zeke had his brow raised in curiosity. 
“I did say a king not a queen. We believe you are the perfect choice. Think about it? You being a ruler will help your group strengthen the support of the people of this island. And you at one point used to be part of Marley’s military. With that knowledge, you can command a new military who will do anything to fight against Marley. The people will glorify you as their savior instead of your little brother who's nobody.” Gilly resumed.  
“I would be careful how you talk about my younger brother if I were you. He may be a hothead sometimes but this group would not exist if it weren’t for him!” Zeke glared at Gilbert for the way he disrespected his little brother. 
“My apologies for offending you. It just saddens me how you care and love your brother so much and yet it doesn’t seem like he does based on his actions.”  Gilbert coaxed Zeke as the other titan shifter paused for a second in confusion. 
“What is the meaning of this, Gilbert?” Yelena had intervened when she looked at Zeke’s expression with a doubt. 
“What I’m trying to say is that Eren Jaeger along with Queen Historia had conspired together to make sure Levi Ackerman was able to escape.” He finally pulled the trigger and waited for both of them to react. 
“Wait what? So Eren was the one to let Levi escape?” Yelena said in shock. 
“Yes, and I have evidence. What nobody knew but only very small members of the inner circle of the Grandmaster about there are small spy cameras installed in the palace. Week by week, they had tracked the queen’s and Eren’s movements. They had allied together to free Subject 18. We have videos.” Gilbert had his phone and showed the video evidence of Eren and Historia meeting together then it showed another scene of Historia meeting Levi in secret in the dungeon. Then it showed how Eren had helped Levi escape from the castle.
Zeke felt hurt by his little brother’s betrayal. So much rage surged inside him. Of course, he had to be calm and clear minded for now. 
“I see, this is disappointing.” Zeke said. 
“I know this truth is hurting you but you must know this.” Gilbert said. 
“He is stupid for being reckless especially it can endanger his new little family. Alright like my father, putting his personal agenda first than his family’s safety. I was alright growing fond of my soon to be sister-in-law. I have no choice but to end her life along with my potential nephew or niece that she’s carrying.” Zeke sighed. 
“I’m afraid you are not allowed to harm the handmaiden for now. She has something that the Grandmaster had been searching for years.” Gilbert said. 
“Oh? Like what?” Zeke was curious again. 
“The infinity stones. They are real and she is the wielder of all six. So if you accept our offer, you can help your dreams come true.” Gilly continued. 
“What will you do about Eren and Historia? And how will you dethrone Nathaniel?” Zeke was now intrigued. 
“With Eren being connected to the Path and Ymir, he will be difficult to get rid of. As for Historia and Nathan; I will expose this secret of her being responsible for Levi escaping and probably the king will lose his interest in her and execute her which will make the people rise up and dethrone him then place you as king. What do you say?” Gilbert said.
At first Zeke thought about it. “I see as long as I get to deal with my brother. So tell the grandmaster I accept his proposal as king.” The Beast Titan shifter shook Gilbert’s hand while Gilbert smirked in victory of phase 1. 
“We have a deal then.” Gilbert said victoriously. 
(Historia)
Shit. It’s like the day of the wedding with Nathan again. She was in her room waiting for Nathan. Naked and alone. He had told her to be ready for him at night. 
Don’t let your fear show to anyone Historia..
The queen heard Ymir’s voice again. She had been quiet for a while. “I can’t help it...the thought of him touching me again is just too much for me.” The blonde woman whispered. 
My Krista, I wish I was there to protect you and hold you like when we were in the scouts..
“Same...I do think about what would happen if you were still alive. I read your letter and if you were still alive, I would have married even with the short time you have before the curse takes you away from this fucked up world…” Historia felt a small tear slipped from her ocean blue eye. 
But you shouldn’t feel regret in any decision that you made before. You have now Levi and your son, Atticus. Think of both of them when fear consumes you. You’re not giving yourself some credit of how strong and capable you are in fucked up situations.  
“Atticus? My little boy...I missed him so much. I envied Sasha for raising him, which I should be the one.” Historia had always thought of her baby boy. For being Levi and Historia’s son, he wasn’t a tiny baby. Her hand wiped the tears off. She must endure these acts for their sake. Levi was caught once. She will have to be stronger and not be a burden to cause more misfortune. A queen can make many moves and has a chance to win this twist game in politics. 
Suddenly, the doors opened and Historia glanced to see Nathaniel entering the room. The usurper noticed his wife was ready for him. 
“I see you have been waiting for me, my wife.” Nathaniel smirked. Historia felt the urge to slap his smirking face, but she was composed. 
The beautiful golden haired queen got up from the bed then let the white sheets fall on the floor to reveal her nude body. Nathaniel walked towards her and caressed his fingers on her soft creamy fair skin. 
“Would you believe me if I say I have missed you?” Historia was not expecting his words. She knew he had hated her for many reasons but that feeling is mutual too. This does not make sense. She felt his lips on her neck slowly traveling down to her collarbone. No matter how hard she tries to enjoy it for her mental sake, these lips are not her true husband. Levi had always made her crave more. Her thoughts drifted to remembering their first time together. It was a grieving night for everyone from the betrayal of Reiner, Bertholdt, and Ymir. From feeling lonely and grief, both Historia and Levi had blossomed into a prue love.
“Historia, you are beautiful like your sister, Freida.” He muttered. 
Historia glanced then took a step back from him. “How do you know my sister?” She whispered.
Nathaniel realized Historia was confused but alert. Maybe it’s the alcohol in him but he felt it’s time for her to know that long ago he was in love and engaged with Freida. He sighed and went to sit on the bed and pat the mattress for her to sit beside him.
“Come Historia, I think it’s time I tell you about the time I used to be engaged with the woman who was my first love.” He said. Historia was hesitant at first, but she went to sit next to him so he could tell her about her sister. 
(Natasha)
The sky was beautiful with clear blue and white puffy clouds. A little girl with brown hair was plucking out wildflowers at the meadow. She carefully tried not to get her summer dress dirty. Her mother will scold her as today will be an important day. Natasha, her mother, and her baby brother Damon will go visit the palace to see Grandpa and Grandma. Her mother, Morgan Ackerman nee Stark had decided to fly from Hawaii to Paradise Isle two days before planning to see her in-laws. Long ago Atticus bought a private land away from the capital when Morgan became pregnant with Natasha. 
For two days Morgan wanted to have some time to herself with her children. Life as a widow was too heartbreaking for her. She lost the love of her life just when their marriage was still new. This must be how her mother felt when her father died so many years ago. Natasha looked up to see her mother who’s in the cottage cradling her baby brother. The little girl smiled  and resumed plucking out flowers. Her mommy loves flowers. This will make her smile again. Her mommy had a pretty smile. 
It felt so long that little Natasha was surprised her mommy didn’t call her name to go see grandma and grandpa. Maybe mommy had fallen asleep with Damon again? The little girl skipped back home. When she saw the door was opened, Natasha was feeling weary but didn’t think too much into it. She entered and went upstairs. 
“Mommy! I got flowers for you!” She heard no one.
As she got closer, the little girl heard a grunt and whispers. Huh? Who is with her mommy and brother? She slowly pushed the door to open for her to view a gruesome scene. Her silver grey eyes widened in horror to see two men were looking down at her mother who looked frozen from seeing a small body on the floor. There was blood soaking the wooden floor and from the look of these strange men's faces; they were laughing. 
Did they hurt her little brother? Why? Why would they do that?
Her mother finally noticed her and shouted. “Natasha ran! Run to safety!” 
Natasha gasped when another man grabbed her before she had the chance to run away. 
“Oh no you don’t brat.” The man who grabbed her was struggling from her wiggling and kicking to be free. “Noo! Let go! Mommy!” She was calling for mother to save her.  
“YOU PIECES OF SHIT! YOU MONSTERS!” Her mother was screaming and crying from seeing her baby laying on the floor dead. “WHY?! I have told you I don’t have it!” 
“Don’t lie, woman. Your father was the last one to hold all six stones. Our sources say you found it five years ago with that Ackerman prince you married. So, tell us where those stones are and this time your last remaining child.” The sinister leader said. 
“Fuck you. Fuck all of you, Jaegerists! I have told you. I don’t have them anymore. Please, please spare my daughter.” Her cries were heartbreak and full of agony. The worst pain to see your own child being killed. 
“Tell us where was the last time you left it?” The Jaegerist man said. 
Morgan was sobbing as she realized it’s pointless to beg for mercy since she was telling the truth. The stones literally disappeared as she used them to have her first pregnancy to make it to full term to birth a healthy child. Her daughter was the result of it. The one wielding the power of the six stones. They must not know the truth. These monsters will do anything to get the stones. The leader was losing his patience. 
“Very well. Kill the other brat.” The leader ordered. 
Morgan looked panicked when the other man who held Natasha placed the dragger on her small throat. Slowly, Natasha screamed in fear. 
“Stop! Stop! I will tell you the truth! Please don’t take her away from me too…” The grieving mother begged them. 
“Fine, now tell us.” He gestured to the man to not harm or kill the crying girl. 
“They are inside...me. I absorbed them accidently.” Morgan said. 
“I see and yet you are not unable to use them? What a terrible mother you are being unable to protect her children.?” The man mocked her. Morgan glared up with rage and charged at him with the knife that was used to kill her infant son. 
The man used defense moves to disarm the knife and lock his arms around her neck and pinned her to the floor harshly. “You asked for this, bitch.” 
Everything had gone to hell when Natasha saw the man pinned her mother and now he’s unbuckling his pants while her mother wiggling and screaming so many bad words. Then herding her mother crying and screaming in pain whatever the man was doing to her mother. All she know, that man’s hands with her baby brother’s blood smearing on her mommy. Then the man started to choke her in the process until no cries or screams were heard from her mommy.
Natasha stopped wiggling and whispered. “Mommy…?” She had a devastating expression. 
“Such a shame. She’s dead.” He had finished violating the mother.  The men groaned in disappointment since they wanted to have a turn. 
“Stop being whiny brats. The body is still warm enough to have fun.” The leader said then chuckled. 
Natasha felt her world became dark. Rage, sorrow, and feeling useless consumed her. A faint whisper was heard from her ear. 
Take your ravenge...they have spilled blood now; they must pay for it…
Who was that? Natasha said mentally. She could hear the same voice again. 
Use it..use your gifts form the stones they so eager to have…
Mommy had made me promise not to use it.
I’m sorry sweetheart but you must break your mommy’s promise...look what they have done to her and your baby brother? They must pay. You are an Ackerman and Ackermans must do whatever it takes to protect and survive. The least you can do is honor your mother, child…
You didn’t answer my question. Natasha said in her thoughts. 
My apologies, I’m you...well the titan in you. Awaken first and let me and the power of infinity stones handle the rest…
Natasha snapped back to reality to glare at these awful men. “You will pay for it!” 
Now the men started to laugh at the little girl’s threat. “Oh, she has fire in her. Men just end her so we can leave.” The leader said. 
Suddenly a rush of electricity spread inside her as some unfamiliar power burst out. She now felt stronger and aware how to fight. The little girl let out a roar while using that strength to bring the man down to the ground surprisingly. The rest of the men were shocked to see a small girl was able to throw a full grown man onto the ground. Then she grabbed the knife the man was holding to stab repeatedly on his chest. Blood spilled everywhere while hearing the man screaming from the pain. All he could see was glowing silver eyes until he died. 
Natasha dropped the bloody knife and turned herself to glance at the rest of the men. The men looked so scared and ran to try to leave the cottage. 
“Where do you think you are going huh?” Natasha’s voice was distant but not like a human. With the power, she made the door closed and locked from the room so they wouldn't escape. The men tried to open the door. 
“I just want to play a little game.” With her glowing hands, she made them lift up into the air without touching them and threw them to the wall for them to crash roughly. 
“Please, please! Don’t hurt us. Have mercy..” Her hearing those words from their mouth had enraged her. “Mercy? Where was that mercy when my mother begged you not to harm my baby brother. Where was your mercy when you hurt her and killed her?! You deserve no mercy.” 
Natasha slowly crushed their insides into liquid and watched how they coughed out blood. Now they look like a blob with human skin. She hadn't noticed the wind was causing it while she flew above ground. Little by little, she started to get back in control and saw what she had done. Her reaction was dizziness as darkness took over her and slumped down to the ground. 
Night time had arrived when Natasha woke up. The cottage was dark but only the moonlight shined down the room to see blood all over the walls, floor, and furniture. Slowly, she got up and went to her mother’s body hoping she’s still alive. Her tiny hands shook the corpse but no response. 
“Mommy, please wake up. We’ll be late…” her tears falling seeing no life in her mother’s once brown eyes. She let out an agony scream until the house phone rang. The little girl could hear it from downstairs in the living room. She quickly ran downstairs and picked up the phone. 
“Hello? Who is this?” Her sniffles were loud enough a familiar voice was able to hear. 
“Natasha? Is your mother there? Why are you crying?” Her grandfather Levi called. 
“I-I..grandpa!” She cried. 
“Hey kiddo, calm down. Tell me what's wrong?” Levi was trying to calm his granddaughter. 
“M-mommy...they...kill her...and Damon too….I’m scared. Please come get me..” She was still sobbing. 
It was quiet on the other side of the phone; only heavy breathing was heard. Then a growl of anger and a punch sound was heard. 
“Honey, who was it that killed your mother...and Damon.” Levi’s voice felt like they were about to break. He and Historia had lost their son, Atticus a year ago, now two members of their family were killed. 
“I think...they were called Jaegerists? I don’t know. Please I’m scared..come.” She begged. 
“Natasha, it's going to be ok. I want to stay inside the cottage and don’t open the door to anyone besides me and your uncle. We’re going to get the military police to investigate. Can you do that, soldier?” Levi uses his affectionate tone while giving her an order. Whenever she visited her grandparents, Grandpa Levi played soldiers for fun. He sometimes teaches her some moves to protect herself. 
“Y-yes Captain Grandpa.” She sniffled. 
“Good girl, stay there. We’ll get there in half an hour.” With that, he hung up. 
Natasha goes lay on the couch to wait for her grandfather. She began to chant to herself to calm down. As he had promised, a half hour had passed. A knock was heard but she was quiet. 
“Natasha? It’s Grandpa. Open the door, kiddo.” She sprinted up and ran to unlock the door and open it. In her view, Levi and behind him were several military police men and Uncle Erwin. The little girl jumped at her grandfather to hug him tightly. He instantly held her and carried her. 
“Shhh it’s ok. I’m here.” He whispered to comfort her. Levi entered the cottage with her holding onto him. He was grateful that she survived. 
The police made their way into the cottage and explored all over the cottage. Her Uncle Erwin was beside his father. “Natasha, where are the bodies? Can you show us?” 
She nodded and pointed them upstairs, they went and reached Damon's nursery room to see a bloodbath nightmare. 
“Oh fuck. What a mess…” Levi glanced at each body and spotted his infant grandson’s corpse then his daughter-in-law’s. What is he going to tell his wife about this tragedy? And Pepper...too. 
(Eren)
The green eyed titan shifter was dabbing a cold wet cloth on his lover’s forehead. He stared at the woman he loves while his hand caressing her hair. Eren was in disbelief at what he saw earlier with Natasha. She is full of surprises. The Eldian man got up and started making tea in case his fiancée woke up. 
“Damn it, Natasha...you literally will be the death of me.” He sighed while turning on the stove to have the kettle pot boiling for tea. 
He was stuck in contemplating other matters when a soft groan was heard. This got his attention. He glanced on the couch to see Natasha waking up. Eren went to be by her side. 
“Hey…” It’s the first word she had said to him since the incident. He took her hand to gently kiss. 
“How are you feeling, babe?” He asked with concern. 
“I feel...like being hit against the wall.” She chuckled lightly and carefully tried to sit up. Eren stopped her so he could help her without struggling. 
“Luckily I got a special tea just for that.” He smiled then got up as the kettle began to make a whistle sound. 
Eren goes to turn off the stove. He poured the hot water into two mugs. The tea bags were already in the mugs as he poured the water. Carefully, he holds the handles to carry the mugs to the couch. Natasha watched the way he had prepared the tea. By the time she received her tea mug, she had enough strength to sit better. The heiress took a sip of her tea. 
“It’s not green tea?” She was a bit disappointed. 
“Doctor recommended not to let you consume caffeine while you're pregnant.” Eren informed her. 
“Wait, is this ginger root tea?” She sipped again. The taste was familiar with earthy and spicy all in one. The Burnette loved ginger root tea especially with lemon to add the zesty flavor. 
“Yeah, it’s good for you and safe for the baby.” Eren said while sipping his tea. 
“I hope there will be more because I love ginger.” She gulped down her tea. 
“Natasha, don’t drink too fast.” He warned her. 
“Alright, alright. Any medical advice Dr. Jaeger?” She smirked. 
“Dr. Jaeger is my dad.” He scoffed. 
“Yes, but I can see you being one too. Imagine you wearing a white uniform coat or blue scrubs. I think it looks sexy on you.” Her hands rub on his chest. Usually he would respond to her flirty actions but right now it’s not appropriate. He had seen her use so much power and it almost drained her energy. If he hadn’t been there to try to calm her down, the situation would have gotten worse. 
Eren sighed in disappointment and grabbed her hands gently to remove them from his chest. “Natasha, you have a lot of explaining to do. What was that earlier that you just did? It nearly drained your energy. You were unconscious since the incident. Fuck, I was scared for you. I just need you to be honest to me. What other surprises do you have?” He ranted. 
Natasha was biting her lips nervously. This is where she needs to tell him what he saw was not what she had wanted anyone to know for many reasons. One of them is being used as a weapon by others. The American heiress placed her mug on the table stand. 
“I don’t know where to start...this isn’t easy for me to tell anyone about my powers.” She said. 
“You can start on how you got them.” Eren looked at her. 
“I was born with them, but I don’t remember much of what my mother had told me long ago.” She paused as she was trying to remember the conversation with her mother on keeping her gifts a secret to everyone. 
“Is it genetic?” He was concerned. If it was, there’s a chance their unborn child will inherit. It would put any of his children with Natasha into a dangerous situation. 
“I don’t know. This had never happened to any wielder. It was one of the reasons why I joined a secret organization to help me know more about it and be in control. All I knew was that these stones inside me had killed my late grandfather, Tony Stark.” She began to explain. 
“I see. So, no one knows about the stones besides me?” He asked. 
“My grandmother from my mom’s side, Director Maria Hill who’s in charge of the organization I joined and now you. I don’t tell anyone about it so please can you not tell anyone?” She gave him a pleading look. 
“Hey of course I won’t tell. Your secrets are mine now. I will not let anyone hurt you if they know the truth. I’m here for you, Natasha.” He wrapped his arms around her to reassure her that her secret is safe with him. 
“Thank you..” She was grateful of having her secret being kept for good. 
Eren was about to say something when her stomach made a loud growl. He saw how she blushed embarrassedly. He chuckled at how cute she looked.
“You haven’t eaten at all today. Tell me what you're craving and I’ll make whatever you want.” Eren offered to make something for her. 
“Hmm...I am craving a grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup?” Natasha glanced at him.
“You got it, rest here while I make what you request.” Eren smiled then kissed her forehead. He went to the kitchen to start making food. 
Natasha watched Eren cooking from the couch. She had thought if it’s time to tell him the cause of her PTSD. She was lost in her thoughts when Eren was calling her name.
“Natasha, I got your soup and your grilled cheese.” Eren had already placed the tray of soup and grilled cheese on the coffee table. He sat on the couch next to her. His hand grabbed the bowl and spoon to help feed her. She was reluctant at first but let him feed her. 
She moaned from having tomato soup in her stomach. Her eyes glanced at the delicious melting grilled cheese sandwich. Eren noticed where her eyes lingered and chuckled form the way she stared. 
“This is why you can’t skip meals, my love.” He placed the bowl down on the table to grab the sandwich and let her bite down as the cheese stretched. 
Natasha just made a grunt sound from having her mouth full from the grilled cheese. Her finger pointed to the bowel to have something to help her swallow down her food. Eren switched the sandwich to the soup and watched her slurp the soup. 
“Thanks my love. Seriously, you have magic hands whenever you cook. Did you learn from your mom as a boy or was it on your own?” She gleaned into his rich emerald green eyes. 
“I learnt just the basics from her, but mostly from during my time in the military.” Eren was a bit quiet from hearing the mention of his mother. His memories as a boy gave him a nostalgic feeling. His mother did teach him how to make soups, and sandwiches including grilled cheeses. He missed her so much. 
“Hey...I’m sorry about our fight at the clinic. You were right. I wanted to forgive you and move on, but that pain was still there...I wasn’t being honest to you or myself.” Out of the blue, Natasha decided to  apologize for her behavior towards him. 
“Shhh it’s fine. I knew deep down what I did to you will take a long time for you to heal and forgive me completely.” He said.
“Um also...I think I’m ready to talk about my mother’s death..” She struggled to let it out in sentences. 
“Babe, you don’t have to…” Eren gently grabbed her hand to kiss it softly.
“But this is important...it’s mainly the reason why I struggled to control my powers. My past has always haunted me where my pain and emotions get out of control and create chaos. I don’t want to end up hurting an innocent.” She glanced at him and hoped he let her talk about her past.
Eren sighed but nodded. “Alright if you’re really ready, I’ll listen to you.” He gave her a warmth smile. 
Natasha smiled back and began to speak. She started every beginning of the summer, her parents and her had always visited Paradise Isle to spend time with her grandparents. When she was 4, her mother decided to go to the cottage that her father had built for my mother as when she was pregnant with Natasha. What she could remember was being in the meadows to pick at the flowers and smell them. She had collected a few for her mother and went back to the cottage. What she had seen was blood spread on the floor in her baby brother’s room. A small body laying in the pool of blood. Her mother’s face went pale than glared at the men who were responsible. Her mother yelled and screamed at them but all they did was laugh and it got to the point where it led Natasha to seeing red for what they did to baby brother than later witnessing her mother being raped. A child should never have witnessed such a gruesome scene. Then all she remembered was blackout until she woke up to see what she had done to these filthy men. She had heard a ring in the living room and went downstairs to pick it up and it was Levi who was concerned when they would come to visit them. She had explained what had happened and quickly her grandfather hung up to go to the cottage.
“So yeah...he brought the police and they were horrific from the scene. I told them what they have done and I torture them until their bones and organs were melted. They looked like a blobfish out of water, but they probably thought it was my Ackerman gene that killed them. I mean I was awoken on that day too but mostly the power of the stones did the damage.” She had stopped to see the way Eren was trying to compose himself. His knuckles were white from how his fists tightened. 
“Do you know who were those men that did these awful acts on your mother and baby brother? Why did they do it?” Eren’s voice was cracking from feeling angry and disgusted by what these men have done to her and her family.
“What I heard from my mother before she was killed; they were…” She doesn’t know how Eren would act if he knew these men are part of the Jaegerist faction. Her grandmother, Queen Historia had been slowly gaining back her power throughout the years and she had restricted them until the Jaegerists had lost their power seat in Paradise Isle.  
“You can tell me, Natasha.” He slowly calmed down for her sake. 
“I don’t think you would like it if you knew who they were.” She said cautiously. 
“Why? Don’t tell me it’s related to me?” Eren felt his heart beating fast as he became afraid of her answer.
“Y-yes...but I know it’s not you. It’s never you nor your brother since he's been dead for a long time. They belong to the Jaegerist. I don’t know who was the real leader during that time when I was a small child.” She felt Eren got up quickly. All she heard was an angry growl and a punch to the wall. 
Natasha looked up to see he made a hole. She got up from the couch and slowly walked towards him. “Listen Eren, this is not your fault-” 
Eren turned around to face her quickly. “Of course it is! I made the Jaegerists. I caused the revolution for Eldia not to fucking brutally kill an infant and raped then kill a mother. They stole your childhood away and yet I was not able to be there to prevent that. Was I there to protect you?” 
“No, I haven't met you yet. Eren, I told you. This is not your fault. You didn’t kill them. You didn’t send them to kill my family.” She placed her hands on his cheeks. “I know what type of man you are and what you're capable of doing but you are not a monster. They are my love.” 
Eren’s tears fall from the guilt. If he knew his followers would cause this kind of trouble, he would’ve not made Jaegerists. He was surprised that the Path didn’t let him access Natasha's timeline. He will need to have a talk with the Founder Ymir. 
“But my name. My family’s name is tainted by causing pain to the mother-in-law I wouldn’t ever get to meet or your little brother.” What bothers him  the most is when his child is born, how will he look at him or her without guilt.
“You shouldn’t feel guilty. They should feel the guilt for what their action had done to my family. I will not let those fucking Jaegerists take my happiness too by having the love of my life feeling the guilt and burden of their crime!” She could feel her body shaking with hatred from thinking about the Jaegerists. 
“You really do hate them huh?” Eren said. 
“I do. They took almost everything from me. My mother, brother, my birthright. I was supposed to be My grandmother’s heir but few Jaegerists who are still in power were prevented by passing a law to take my title I was born with and the line to succession. I am tired of the way they ruled over the government far too long and my family had to pay the price. I’m glad times are changing in the future era because my generation has been protesting to give my grandmother’s power seat full control. I only go visit Paradise because my father’s family lives there. Kuchel had been studying overseas to become a diplomat to best handle the government to help her family to survive there. The aftermath of the three Jaegerist’s acts of crime, the police had to cover the truth. I was angry and furious. My grandparents had to shut me up for my sake. So I had to play the fucked up heiress who sleeps with strangers and parties and drinks into my misery.” She finally calmed down from her outburst. 
“It was not meant to be like the last government was before the uprising. I did it so the Eldians can open their eyes to know the truth and not live in some delusional lifestyle where we’re the last humans on this planet and these fucking walls are our life support. I can’t believe it fires back at my ideology.” He took a deep breath and joined Natasha to sit beside her. 
“So what do they want from your mother? There must be a reason they went to your cottage on that day?” He resumed.
“They wanted the stones. My mom is the daughter of the late Tony Stark. He was the last person that used it to save the earth’s population from an alien invader, Thanos. She didn’t tell them that I have them in my body, instead she told them she had them inside her...to protect me.” Her lips quivered as tears fell. All Eren could do was hold her and comfort her.  
“I won’t let the Jaegerists get you and our baby. If they or anyone tries to hurt my family; I will personally shed their blood like a river.” His tone was dark. This is one of the promises he will keep. 
He needed her. His Eve. His soulmate. His freedom. 
(Natasha) 
The following morning both of them had woken up early to go back to the palace. At first, Eren was reluctant to let Natasha go back to work from yesterday's incident. She had to persuade him that she was better now. They entered the palace and looked at each other before they departed for their duties. 
“Let me know if you don’t feel well. I’ll pick you up.” Eren said while she nodded. 
“I promise I will. Now go before your annoying brother comes to find you. I’m not in the mood to greet him.” Natasha said. 
“Alright, but I will see you later.” He gave her a kiss on her forehead. 
“Yeah, I’ll see you later.” She smiled back while embracing his kiss on her forehead. 
She had watched him leave, then went to Queen Historia’s chamber to start her work. Later as half of the day reached, Natasha finished her morning chores. It’s lunch hour so she will wait for Eren to come by to get her to go eat. The brunette heiress was about to go inside the Queen’s chamber to grab her stuff. 
“Ms. Potts, is the queen busy with an audience?” Yelena walked towards her. Natasha turned to see the stoic woman. 
“Hey Yelena. Um, I think she is at the moment since she left in the morning to a bunch of meetings with the high ranking ladies, after lunch I will let her know you stopped by to have an audience with her.” Natasha said. 
“I see. Then after lunch it is. Are you on your way to lunch?” Yelena asked her. 
“Yes, but I’m waiting for Eren to come. You know how protective he has become lately.” Natasha chuckled. 
“Yes, Eren will be a great father and husband too. SPeaking of husband, when will you two be wed?” This threw Natasha off guard. 
“I don’t know. We haven’t picked a wedding date yet. Maybe after our baby is born?” From so many events had happened, it didn’t accrue to her or Eren to pick a date to be married. Only thing Eren ever mentioned was he just wanted to get married now and be his wife. She forgot the culture and society in this island was way different than most modern societies. Maybe she will give a date for the wedding before their child is born even though it's ridiculous to wed so rushly because society will label their baby an unwed bastard. Oh well, she’s just doing this for Eren. 
“I’m sure Zeke and I can offer help for the wedding to happen as soon as possible. Queen Historia adores you. I’m sure she’ll happily help too.” The female Jaegerist said. 
“Thank you, I’ll have a talk with Eren about your offer.” Natasha finds it suspicious that Yelena all of the sudden decided to talk to her so casually.
“Oh I forgot to mention, but Eren would be busy during lunch. He sent me a message to let you know he’ll see you later after work.” Yelena said as she noticed the way Natasha became disinterested and was about to leave.  
“Really? He said that, huh?” Natasha sighed and felt a bit sad that her fiance will not be able to have lunch with her today. 
“Of course. If you want, you can have lunch with me. I might have to come back here later anyways.” Yelena offered. 
“I guess having lunch with you is better than eating alone. Shall we head to eat then?” Natasha gave in and walked with Yelena. 
They went to the hall where most of the staff, Jaegerists members, lower ranks Templars have their meals. It’s basically a cafeteria to her but one day it will be one in the future. She preferred to have lunch outside of the palace since drama had always come to find her. As her pregnancy started to show, few people who had annoyed her before avoided her. Especially, her relationship with Eren was public so they don’t want to be on Eren’s bad side. Oh my god, she was so embarrassed the way he announced everyone the day after the ball. She remembered how her face was red and dying the need to hide herself. If she was in control of the situation then she wouldn’t feel embarrassed. 
As for today, many people stared while walking through the aisle of tables to go wait in line for a meal with Yelena. This felt like her high school days where she was always the center of attention. Being the heiress of Stark Industries and the family’s fortunate, the public was always eyeing on her. It gets too much when she needs her privacy. Once they got their meal, both Yelena and Natasha sat on an empty table. 
“Eat Ms. Potts. The child will need his or her strength.” Yelena gave a smile and began to eat her meal.  
“You can just call me, Eve. I felt like those ladies during the Regency Era.” Natasha said while putting her meat. 
“Very well, Eve.” Yelena said politely. 
 The rest of the meal hour, they were silent while eating. They barely had small talks which bugs Natasha. Maybe having lunch on her own would have been better? They finally finished their meals and Yelena spoke again. 
“It’s almost over lunch, would you be alright if we take a detour? I need to drop off a letter to one of the members in their office.” Yelena waved an envelope letter towards her. 
“Yeah, we got time before the Queen expected me to be back to serve her.” She said. Natasha got up to grab her tray. 
“Good.” The other woman got up as well and took her tray. 
Both women place the tray with empty dishes into a bin where kitchen staff pick up to wash them later. They walked out of the hall in silence. The detour walk was a bit long until slowly it got dim further away than the hallways Natasha was familiar with. She started to feel anxiety. 
“Yelena, are you sure this is where the office leads?” She was getting a bit worried. 
“Yes, I have come here a lot. There are some offices further down.” Yelena said casually. 
“I see…” Maybe Natasha was just feeling a bit sick again. The meat was a bit heavy for her. 
“We’re almost there.” The other woman said. 
As they walked further, Natasha was getting frustrated as her feet were killing her. She stopped to take a small break. 
“Sorry I am going to need a minute.” She begin to panting. 
Suddenly, a hand was placed on her mouth to keep her silent. Natasha panicked and wiggled to free herself. Before she can use her Ackerman strength, she feels something poke on her neck and slowly sees the view blurry. She saw Yelena with a smirk along with two more people. Where did they come from? Why are they doing this? Shit, did they find out she was one of the spies for the Assassins and the last remaining Paradise military?
“W-what did you do to me, Yelena?” She was struggling to speak. 
“Don’t worry this injection is not titan serum nor will it affect your child. We just need you for our special project. We know you have the stones in you. If we do not keep you until you give birth to the child, we’ll remove them from your body.” Yelena explained. 
“Y-you bitch! Eren will notice. He will-” Natasha felt a slap on her cheek. She glared at all three with hatred. 
“Be good and stay silent. The serum is working. Soon we’ll have you unconscious. Speaking of Eren, Zeke will handle him. Sleep well. Ms. Potts.” Natasha’s view slowly darkens. 
Slowly her eyes began to open. All she saw was white surrounds but there were blue lines glowing. In front of her, there was a holosign doing a countdown. It felt like she was in a virtual game that’s becoming popular in her time. 
Welcome to Animus Project. Name: Natasha Eve Ackerman-Stark. Code: 2467489
Shit. She’s in the Animus machine. They know her true identity. Oh where are you Eren?
New subject. Subject 19. Resuming Arene Ackerman arc. 
Halonus, Eldia Empire 1556
It’s been forever since being knocked out by the king’s guards. Arne lost count being held in the cell. Is Ingrid alright and safe? He wondered about his wife. Arne heard the footsteps coming closer and the keys chain making noises as it unlocked his cell. The guard looked at him. 
“The king had summoned you.” The guard said as he dragged Arne out of the cell. Arne prays to the gods and goddesses to protect his small growing family. 
“What the hell? Where am I? Who are you?” Natasha suddenly sees white but as her vision became clear, there were many people staring at her. Some familiar ones like Zeke, Yelena, Floch. 
“How intriguing. Girl, we should be asking you that. Who are you?” Alexander Di Lorenzo stands before her to observe like she’s some mythical creature. 
“It’s pointless to answer that question when you have me hooked up into an Animus machine.” She with a bitter tone. 
“True, but we wanted to give you the chance to speak, Eveline or should we call you Natasha? Tell me Miss Ackerman? What year are you both?” Alexander said. 
“2041…” She whispered. 
“Just as I expected. Gentleman and ladies. Who would ever think the handmaiden is from the future and even better a direct descendant of Levi Ackerman and Queen Historia. I presume that’s on your father’s side? The infant prince is your father?” Alexander chuckled from seeing how her expression became pale. 
“Go fuck yourself.” She spit on the Grandmaster's face. The templars quickly aimed their gun at her ready for their leader to give command. 
“Lower your guns.” Alexander ordered his men. 
“You’re a hothead woman. It doesn’t matter now. You are the key to my goals. Knock her out again and gather any info since her grandfather decided to escape.” Alexander said. The scientists nodded. 
“Hold up. Alexander, she is pregnant with my brother’s child. My niece or nephew might not make it.” Zeke was concerned. 
“Don’t worry the baby will survive. It’s mother is an Ackerman. We’ll give you the baby as its legal guardian. If the child inherits the gifts, we’ll raise it as our weapon.” Alex smirked. 
Zeke stayed silent, this is what he feared having an innocent being born in this cruel world and will be used as a weapon. He felt conflicted from knowing how his little brother will not hesitate to use The Rumbling on them instead. 
A/N: Ok, this is where I’ll stop until the next chapter. I’ll see you next time.
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pollenallergie · 5 years
Text
Dualism: A Hemlock Grove Fanfiction by yours truly
Chapter Two
Can I Watch?
based on Hemlock Grove's second episode of its first season, which is called "The Angel"
part two:
   That very same day was also the second time he ever spoke to Roman. He was causally making slightly flirtatious conversation with Roman Godfrey's sister, Shelley, a girl who, like Peter and the two Ruiterkamp siblings, was also labeled a freak and forced into being an outcast, when a guy purposefully bumped into him, making him drop his book. The boy the preceded to call Peter "wolf fucker" and howl at him tauntingly as he walked away. Shelley then apologized to Peter via the automated voice on her phone. To which Peter replied, "Don't be sorry, you're too pretty," as he gently touched a strand of her hair, quickly but playfully flicking it with his fingertip.
   Peter then bent down to pick them up, reaching for a book but failing to pick it up when a familiar hand slammed down onto it dramatically, picking it up for him. The hand then gave Peter the book and he looked up to see that it belonged to Roman.
   "Get your fucking hands of my sister," Roman said menacingly, causing his sister and Peter to laugh.
   "Is this funny to you?" Roman asked him seriously, causing the two to stop laughing and for Peter to shake his head, causing Roman to bust out laughing while attempting to mutter out a, "I'm just kidding."
   "You want a lift home?" Roman asked after his laughter died down.
   "Why?" Peter asked.
   "Whatever, or not." Roman shrugged, beginning to walk away. Peter then followed, taking him up on his offer after he said his goodbyes to Shelley.
   The two of them talked in the car, getting to know each other before Roman pulled up to the curb of Peter's residence. Roman then noticed Peter's drawing and admitted to him that, the night before, he had a dream about the thing Peter drew. He then asked Peter if he felt it too, to which Peter eventually replied with an inquiry as to what he meant. Roman then explained that he meant whatever was "down there" and Peter sarcastically asked if he meant the septic tank. Roman replied by saying it was deeper than that before beginning to admit something else to him.
   "I get this feeling sometimes, like something really important is about to happen," Roman admitted, causing a pause in the conversation. During this pause, Peter heard the jingle of a bike chain approaching and noticed one of the Ruiterkamp siblings approaching, on their bike, the curb which Roman's car was parked by.
   "Thanks for the ride," Peter said quickly before getting out, for whatever reason not wanting Sawyer and Roman to interact.
   Roman then started the engine and drove off, not noticing the girl approaching Peter on her bike.
   "Hey," Sawyer greeted as she hopped off her bicycle, putting down on the curb.
   "How'd you get here so fast?" Peter asked her curiously.
   "Took the shortcut you told me about, the one that goes through the park," She explained.
   "Where's Luke? I didn't see him at school today," Peter asked.
   "He stayed home, he says he has the flu but I think he's just skipping," Sawyer explained.
   "So when Luke's not here drive you, you take your bike?" Peter asked teasingly. "What? Does he not share the car?"
   "No, not that it matters anyway, I can't drive," Sawyer said.
   "What, you don't have your license?" Peter asked.
   "Well that and I never took behind-the-wheel," Sawyer explained.
   "Too cool for driving school?" Peter asked teasingly.
   "No, more like I wrapped our older brother's car around a tree a week after my fifteenth birthday," Sawyer said causing Peter to wince jokingly.
   "So she can't drive," Peter muttered while sporting an amused grin as the two of them headed down the long stairway towards his late uncle's home.
   "No she cannot," Sawyer replied, mirroring his expression as they walked side-by-side.
   Once they made it inside, the two of them got situated, turning on the tv and getting their homework stuff set up, before Peter introduced Sawyer to his mother. Then for the rest of the afternoon the two of them did homework together, well, actually Sawyer worked on both of their homework assignments while Peter watched the movie on tv, his mom watching alongside him. Every now and then Lynda, his mother, would nudge him, signaling that he should be helping Sawyer, to which he would huff and then pretend to help Sawyer for a maximum of thirty seconds before reverting back to watching the movie. Although considering she was getting paid to do this, unbeknownst to Peter's mom, she didn't mind much. His mom began to flip through his sketchbook as he sipped his beer and, sitting next to him, Sawyer continued to busy herself with both his homework and her own.
   "Well, as an artist, you could use a little development," Lynda teased causing Peter and Sawyer to snicker.
   Lynda then came across a flyer for homecoming in his sketchbook.
   "Homecoming, you two going?" Lynda asked.
   "Nah, I am home," Peter said causing Sawyer to bite back a smile.
   "Well, I am, he's not," Sawyer replied.
   "You're going?" Peter asked her, a bit surprised that she was planning on attending.
   "Yeah, Luke wants to go," She replied.
   "So sicko missed school, but still somehow convinced your dad to let him go to the dance?" Peter teased.
   "Nah, dad's gone on a work trip for the next six months, so all Luke's gotta do is sneak out past our eighty-year-old grandma who sleeps from the hours of seven at night to seven in the morning," Sawyer explained.
   "Seems easy enough," Peter added jokingly.
   "Flier says it's a costume dance, so what are you two dressing up as?" Lynda asked.
   "We're gonna be Ashley and Sam Weir from the show Freaks and Geeks," Sawyer said.
   "I'm guessing that was your decision," Peter said.
   "Yeah, Luke wanted to be Aaron Carter and for me to be his twin sister Angel," Sawyer said, rolling her eyes at the thought.
   "But you two aren't twins," Peter pointed out at the same time that Lynda asked, "Aaron Carter has a twin sister?"
   "My thoughts exactly," Sawyer said referring to both of the comments made by the two Rumanceks.
   "Speaking of dances," Peter said as he looked at the wall clock, "It's six, you might wanna get going."
   Sawyer groaned in response before begrudgingly standing up and gathering her things. "Wish me luck," she said to the Rumanceks before departing.
   "Nice meeting you," Lynda said as the young girl left.
   "You too," Sawyer responded.
   "See you at school on Monday," Sawyer said to Peter, flashing both the Rumanceks a genuine smile before departing.
   Later that night, the Ruiterkamp siblings showed up at the dance, adorned in their seventies grunge and nerdy style costumes.
   "You look nothing like Sam Weir, your hair's too done up and he would never leave his shirt untucked when wearing khakis, especially not at school let alone at a school dance; he always tucks his shirt in to his khakis," Sawyer told her brother, regretting letting him make last-minute wardrobe changes to his half of her costume of choice.
   "Who cares? I look less nerdy like this. It's not like anybody's gonna get your reference anyways. I mean, the show was canceled for a reason, well two actually, one being that it sucked and two being that only like ten people watched it," Luke told her and Sawyer gasped in response.
   "You take that back." She demanded which caused Luke to snicker.
   "Whatever. How about we just try to enjoy ourselves tonight, is that cool with you?" Luke suggested to his older sister.
   "Fine," Sawyer grumbled before following her younger brother out onto the dance floor, both teens making sure to put lots of distance between them as to not spark up those incest rumors again. How their peers had even gotten that idea was a mystery to them, they were just like any other set of siblings in this town, but little did they know that starting absurd, outrageous rumors based on nothing but the knowledge someone's name and face was what the teens of Hemlock Grove were known for, well along with being known for how gullible they are, hence why these outlandish rumors take off and are so commonly believed.
   The two then danced for a bit, the whole time Sawyer wondered why in the hell the came in the first place seeing as they knew no one except for each other. After only a few minutes of dancing casually to the upbeat track, Sawyer had convinced Luke to let the two of them leave early, right as the song switched from the familiar upbeat one to a more ambient, techno track. Luke eventually agreed after some moments of hesitation, so the two siblings left. They got in Luke's car and Luke started it up just before they began to hear a chorus of screams and shouts. Upon hearing these cries of distress, the two noticed a herd of their peers pouring out of the school in a state of panic. They were concerned by this but decided to leave nonetheless, reasoning that the herd was probably running to get away from something which meant they should do the same and get the hell out of there.
——
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wanna-17 · 6 years
Text
sisterzoned ft. kang daniel (pt.1)
summary: you’re sisterzoned by your crush the moment you two meet, will you ever have a chance?
length: 1.7k
a/n: so i was cleaning my room and came across my journal that i wrote in when i was at the young age of T H I R T E E N and legit all i wrote about was about this crush i had that completely sisterzoned me within one minute of meeting r i p m e. and you can say i’ve never had a serious crush after that lmao and then i was getting all angsty so i decided to write a scenario based on it its super tragic and like i have not talked to him since like 6 years ago HAHAHAH but I DECIDED TO WRITE ON DANIEL so let me know what you think of this!! 
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part 2 is here
your parents had signed you up to some sort of “cultural learning” camp that went for 2 weeks without telling you
you were from busan and the trip was to seoul during the school holidays
and for you being away from home for 2 weeks was a long time
and on the camp it was gonna be full of other high school students who were probably forced to go as well lmao
luckily your best friend doyeon was also going as your parents had discussed about this behind your backs
so here you were at the airport with a massive luggage and your best friend by your side
and you guys were surrounded by about 30 or so strangers who you’d never seen before and most looked just as distressed
there were also some adults that were like “leaders” for the camp but they were  more like middle aged parents
you sighed
the leaders started marking the roll
“kang daniel?”
no one responded or raised their hand so the teacher moved on to the next name which was yours as you were also a kang
when she nearly finished marking the roll a boy ran to the teacher and he seemed to be breathless probably having just run in to the airport
“sorry i’m late!” chirped the boy
he was carrying a big duffel bag and held a weird looking racket in his hand
you couldn’t see his face but you couldn’t help but think that he had such a wide back and wide shoulders lmao
he talked to the leader for a bit and joined this other tall boy who was by himself and they gave each other a  bro hug
finally the roll was done and everyone began to check in, then go through security etc.
finally everyone was at the boarding gate and there was still an hour til boarding time so there was time to mingle and get to know people
and at this point you and doyeon had not spoken to anyone at all as you were both really tired and ceebs 
you glanced around curiously looking at those around you and seeing if there was anyone else that looked friendly that you and doyeon might be able to approach to make friends
your eyes landed and lingered on the boy who’d come in late 
now that you could see his face he seemed really familiar and cute 
“hey doyeon is it just me or does that guy who came in late look familiar to you?” 
doyeon also looked over at him and after a few seconds she slapped your arm
“OMG Y/N I’M PRETTY SURE THATS KANG DANIEL FROM OUR SCHOOL IN THE YEAR ABOVE” shrieked doyeon excitedly
“really omg the basketball player???” you asked 
doyeon nodded in response, “what the heck is he doing on this camp” 
you didn’t notice that you and doyeon were actually pretty loud and daniel and his friend had heard you so they walked over to you guys 
you and doyeon looked at each other in embarrassment and you wanted to dig a hole 
“hey guys i think i heard you guys say that i go to your school” said daniel smiling as he approached you and doyeon 
“yeah!” replied doyeon “we didn’t mean to be creepy you just looked familiar” 
“that’s cool so you guys go to xx high school as well?”
“yeah! except this girl is transferring schools” replied doyeon as she patted you on the back sadly 
the thing was your dad had gotten a new job on the outskirts of busan so your family was moving there
and now that the popular basketball player from the year above was talking to you you were slightly upset about transferring :((
“oh what that’s such a shame” said daniel
and he looked at you with a bunny smile and wow your heart started racing and it’ll be while since you felt that way
the friend who was with daniel introduced himself
“hey i’m ong seongwoo, not hong seongwoo not wong seongwoo but ong seongwoo” said seongwoo emphasising the ong i had to
you guys all introduced yourselves and seongwoo offered for you guys to all wait together as where they were sitting had a lot of space
daniel came over and helped you and doyeon take the luggage
you’d already started pulling your luggage but he took it from you
and you couldn’t help but be touched by such a small gesture
you guys all talked and got to know each other better 
and it was cool how you guys all went to the same school
and honestly you became really sad at the idea of having to transfer schools…….you wanted to know daniel more honestly speaking 
and maybe you guys would talk at school if you didn’t have to transfer 
when it was time for boarding you ended up standing next to daniel and you were a little nervous bc before it was in a group so everyone was talking to each other and over each other 
“hey y/n you know what i realised we have the same last name” said daniel
“yeah we do” 
“you know i’m an only child and i’ve always wanted a younger sister and you’re just so small and cute so can i adopt you as my younger sister?” asked daniel
you were surprised at the request but you agreed happily 
he said i was cute you kept repeating to yourself as you smiled 
you were happy that he was going to call you sister bc that meant he wanted to be close to you and you couldn’t help but be happy at that 
the funny thing was tho his older brotherly instincts turned on immediately as you didn’t think he would ACTUALLY treat you like a younger sister 
he always called you sister or sis in this really cute tone 
on the plane when you couldn’t finish the food he helped you eat it and ruffled your hair
he ALWAYS ruffled your hair and you loved it 
when he found out you liked kpop he’d call you sistarrrrr and tease you about it 
which was cute but annoying 
during the camp he always cared for you and asked how you slept 
he sometimes even bought you drinks and snacks and gave you medicine when you were unwell
one time when walking on the sidewalk a car passed by pretty closely and he made you walk on the inside 
one time the elevator was super packed but you really needed to get in so you were kinda squished against daniel sort of against the wall while you awkwardly staring at his chest 
one time everyone at camp visited some old building and you got a lot of dirt and dust on your jacket. when you guys came out daniel was like: “hey sis you got your jacket dirty i’ll get it off for you” and he just patted it all of straight away 
one time everyone was taking a group photo and just before the camera clicked he’d put his arm around you 
one time when walking around hongdae you’d stopped to pick up a call from your mum and daniel was the only one who patiently waited for you on the sidewalk  
you just couldn’t figure him out bc honestly speaking he was such a nice guy and treated every girl really well 
so those “moments” probably didn’t mean anything to him bc they were little things but they meant so much to you 
but then it wasn’t like he waited for every girl??
you were an older sibling at home and were always the one watching out for others
but now that someone was watching out for you made you feel really special and loved 
and he called you his sister which should be a clear sign of the sisterzone??
but you couldn’t help but think that maybe he did like you?? bc everything he did confused you 
another time at night a few people were gathered playing the pocky game 
daniel had the pocky and jisung spun the bottle……………and it landed on you 
you were frozen and your mind was blank as you didn’t know how to react 
you looked up and met eyes with daniel…and well they looked a bit hopeful? he was laughing and his eyes turned into crescents but they looked kinda hopeful 
everyone else was cheering and chanting 
before you could make a decision another guy jaehwan who was super hyper and getting impatient did it instead 
you sat there in a daze, half regretting it bc you wanted to have your first kiss with someone you liked and you were sure you liked daniel 
but you were scared and a nervous wreck 
honestly though you liking daniel was a gradual process there wasn’t a defining moment on when you started to like him 
but you knew when was the confirming moment of you liking daniel 
the moment itself was pretty stupid because it wasn’t related to you but it made your heart melt 
it was when everyone was at a two storey restaurant and suddenly daniel had to go downstairs
you were curious as to where he went so you excused yourself and went downstairs 
and you saw daniel with an elderly couple which you soon found out were his grandparents 
you observed the way he interacted with them and how tender he was with them 
most 16 year olds who were the star basketball player of their year would not want to be seen in public with their relatives
but here was daniel, clinging onto his grandma and talking to her with the most admirable smile
you couldn’t help but feel you heart beat 
a family oriented guy plus a nice personality and good looks what more did you need?
you smiled to yourself as you headed back upstairs
soon the camp came to an end and you enjoyed the 2 weeks so much 
they were in fact the best 2 weeks of your life bc you’d met daniel 
also by the end of the camp literally everyone was questioning whether you two were a thing or not and he always just gave a laugh and brushed it off as he said “look at y/n she’s my awesome sister” 
at the airport he’d given you a big hug and you swear it was slightly longer than the hugs he gave to the other girls 
he’d said to you “thanks for being the best little sister” and he’d ruffled your hair 
you nodded and couldn’t even come up with a coherent answer because you wanted the past 2 weeks to go on forever 
you didn’t want to not see daniel again 
you wished you weren’t transferring schools 
on camp daniel had whined a lot about you transferring schools 
after the camp you and daniel became facebook friends and talked a few times
but you honestly were super awkward online and didn’t know what to  talk about so after a month or so you and daniel lost contact even though there was the title of facebook friends 
5 years went on like that 
the school you had transferred to was an all girls school and you barely had any contact with any other guys 
so daniel was basically the first and last guy you had really liked he was like your first love
but then again it was just a fleeting camp crush right?
during this time you did see some pictures of daniel on facebook from time to time
but that was it you never initated to talk to him on facebook because you were too scared and embarrassed to do so
plus you were sure you had moved on from him thats what you thought girl 
but one day as you were mindlessly scrolling through facebook on the bus you came across a picture
of daniel kissing a girls cheek
and you suddenly felt your heart tear into pieces 
and you didn’t even know why 
ok lmao idk anymore HAHAHA let me know what you guys think!! i’ll have part 2 coming soon hopefully and the remaining of my first meeting au! series :) 
masterlist is here
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doomedhowell · 6 years
Text
Halloweentown
Summary: Halloween is Dan’s absolute favorite holiday, unfortunately his mom doesn’t allow he and his sister to celebrate it. Dan’s grandmother comes to visit and Dan’s Halloween doesn’t go quite as plan, in the best possible way.
Word Count: 4,230
Genre: AU, Fluff
A/N: I have always wanted to write a Halloweentown crossover so I finally decided to do it. It’s more based on the movie I guess. I changed the plot kinda. Also, thank you once again to @lexi-love99 for betaing this fic!
Finally, it’s Halloween, Dan’s absolute favorite holiday. He looks forward to this day every single year, despite the fact that his mom tries to keep him away from it. Dan watches all the scary movies throughout Halloween even though he ends up having nightmares from most of them.
But, Dan just thinks it’s the best holiday. Dressing up and getting candy for free? Hell yeah!
“Mom, they don’t need all this candy! I warned you not to bring any of this stuff,” Gwen, Dan’s mother, complains as she watches her mother pull out big bags of sweets for Dan and his sister.
“It’s Halloween, dear, just relax and let the kiddos have fun for once…”
Dan smiles as he looks up at his grandma, and thanks her when she hands him a bag full of sweets.
“They’re too young for Halloween,” Gwen tries again, sighing as she watches her mother.
“Gwen, it’s just candy. It’s not going to hurt them. And you’re never too young for Halloween,”
“Mom, why can’t we dress up like the other kids?” Dan asks. “I want to be a vampire! Or, a scary ghost!”
“You would make a great scary ghost,” his grandmother says with a smile.
“Don’t encourage them!” Gwen warns, glaring at her mom. “And I already told you this. You’re too young. You don’t need to be caught up in all of that silly stuff. You’ve got better things to worry about.”
“Silly?” Dan’s grandmother asks, offended. “And just tell me why Halloween is so silly?”
Dan rolls his eyes and turns around, walking out of the kitchen. He loves when his grandmother visits, unfortunately his mom couldn’t say the same thing. They never get along, and they always argue. Dan always wonders why they don’t get along, and he always asks, but never gets any answers.
Dan walks over to the window and sighs when he sees all of the other children dressed up and going door-to-door, asking strangers for Halloween candy. Dan must admit, it’s a weird concept, and he can definitely see why his mom is so against Halloween but, Dan loves it. Halloween is his favorite holiday.
“But mom-”
“Not another word, Daniel. Today is just like every other day,” Gwen tells him.
Dan huffs. “Yeah, except there’s like hundreds of children outside our house, dressed up as characters,”
“Don’t make me send you to your room for the rest of the night, young man,” Gwen snaps.
Dan turns and looks at his grandma, choosing to ignore what his mother had said. “Grandma, can you tell us more about that Halloweentown you told us about?” He asks excitedly.
Gwen’s eyes widen as she looks at her mother, furious. “You told them about what?”
“Oh yes. Halloweentown-” His grandma pulls out a book. “It’s a wonderful place. Have a look for yourself.”
**
Dan spent most of the night chatting with his grandma and listening to her talk about Halloweentown. Dan’s been fascinated with this ‘Halloweentown’ ever since his grandma told him about it when he was younger. She had showed him a book and it was magical. Dan just loved seeing all the cool places and seeing all the people dressed as different monsters. But, she told him they were nice monsters.
“Grandma, do you have to go?” Dan asks, frowning as he watches his grandma put her stuff away.
“Oh, I’m afraid so, darling. It’s getting late and I must be getting home,” she says softly.
“But, can’t you stay for a couple more days?” Dan asks hopefully.
“I’m afraid not. If I don’t leave now then I won’t make my bus, and I won’t make it home,” she tells him.
Dan pouts. “I won’t get to see you for a whole year. I’ll miss you a lot,” he says.
“And I’ll miss you too. How about I tuck you kids into bed before I leave?” Grandma suggests.
“Grandma, I’m not- okay,” Dan smiles and nods. He doesn’t care if he’s too old to get tucked in. He never gets to see his grandma so he’s taking any time with her while he can before she leaves again.
After tucking the two children into bed, Dan’s Grandma reads them a chapter from her Halloweentown book before she finally says goodbye and starts heading out of the house.
But, Dan knows better. He notices the little things about his grandma that is slightly… strange. He notices how she only visits them once a year, and that’s on Halloween. He notices how she manages to fit a bunch of things into that small bag of hers. Dan never questioned it until he got older.
Dan waits until his grandma is out of sight before he jumps out of bed and quietly follows her. He tiptoes down the stairs and he looks around to make sure that his mom isn’t around to scold him and tell him to go back to bed like she always does when he tries to sneak midnight snacks from the kitchen.
Dan slips on his shoes and then he peaks out one of the windows before slipping out of the house, and he’s quite amazed that he hasn’t gotten caught yet by someone. He never gets this lucky.
Dan runs over to one of the big trees in the front yard and peaks from behind it. He sees his grandma standing at one of the corners of the street they live on, and she’s obviously waiting for something.
“What are you doing?”
Dan jumps and nearly falls over when he hears the sudden yet familiar voice. He looks over nervously and rolls his eyes when he sees his sister, Addy, crouching down beside him.
“What the fuck, Addy? Why did you follow me?” Dan hisses.
“Because I wanted to see where you going. So, where are you going?” Addy asks curiously.
“I’m following grandma. I know she’s hiding something from us,” Dan whispers.
“Look!” Addy points when a bus suddenly appears. “What is that?”
“We’re about to find out. Stay here,” Dan says before getting onto his feet and running over to the bus.
“Yeah right,” Addy mumbles before following Dan over to the bus.
Dan sneaks onto the bus, Addy following right behind him.
Dan sits down in one of the seats in the very back, so he isn’t seen by his grandma. He looks over and jumps when Addy sits next to him in the same seat. “What are you doing? I told you to stay,”
“Did you honestly think I was going to listen to you?” Addy asks, scoffing.
“Mom is going to kill us,” Dan groans. “Fine, but you have to listen to me. I am the oldest.”
“Whatever,” Addy rolls her eyes. She looks over and gasps when she sees the person sitting next to her, and sees them in what looks like a monster mask but it looks too real to be fake.
The man looks over at her and smiles at her. “Hello,” he greets in a deep voice.
Addy returns the smile even though she’s clearly freaked out. She looks over at Dan and tugs on his arm. “Dan, look at all these people. They’re like… dressed up. That guy has a pumpkin head,”
Dan sits up a little and takes a looks around, although he just assumes that everyone’s dressed up for Halloween. “Relax, Ads. They’re probably just dressed up for Halloween,” he says.
“But… Halloween is pretty much over. It’s after midnight,” Addy says. “I’m freaked out.”
“They’re probably just those people who like to go on after midnight. Don’t be freaked out,”
“Grandma doesn’t seem very freaked out by this,” Addy points out, raising her eyebrows as she looks at their grandma, who is happily chatting to some of the people in the front of the bus.
“Exactly… so you shouldn’t be freaked out by this either,” Dan says softly. He looks around once more and takes a deep breath. At least, Dan hopes that these are just people dressed in Halloween costumes.
“So, where do you think we’re going?” Addy asks curiously.
“I’m not really sure, but I’m- whoa! Whoa!” Dan’s eyes widen when the bus takes off. Dan tries to take in what’s happening, but the bus is moving faster than Dan’s mind can comprehend what’s going on.
And before Dan knows it, he and Addy are surrounded by more people “dressed” as monsters.
“What… What is going on?” Addy asks as she looks around, her eyes wide. “Where are we?”
“Did we… fall asleep on the bus or something? Are we dreaming?” Dan asks, just as shocked.
“Well, we must be in the same dream then,” Addy says. “Where are we? Who are these people?”
“They must love Halloween,” Dan mumbles as he looks around nervously. He stops dead in his tracks and let’s out a gasp. “This is it. This is just like the book!” He looks over at Addy with a smile.
“What are you talking about?” Addy asks, raising her eyebrows as she looks up at Dan.
“Halloweentown!” Dan shouts, bouncing up and down with excitement. “We’re in Halloweentown!”
“Are you crazy? Halloweentown is just a book,” Addy says, shaking her head. “It’s not real.”
“It all makes sense now. I mean, all the ghosts, goblins and witches. Those aren’t people dressed up,”
“Wait a minute… where’s grandma? We totally lost grandma. We don’t know where we are!”
Dan’s eyes widen. “Oh, shit. We did lose grandma,” he quickly looks around.
“Maybe we should ask someone?” Addy suggests, raising her eyebrows as she watches Dan.
“And who, exactly?” Dan asks as he looks over at Addy. “We don’t know anything about these people. Didn’t you ever listen to mom growing up? Don’t talk to strangers. That’s bad.”
“Oh, please,” Addy rolls her eyes. “We talk to strangers every day, even when we don’t notice.”
“Ugh, whatever-”
“Hello,”
Dan jumps at the sudden voice. He looks over and sees a black haired boy, who seems to be slightly taller than him, and could possibly be around his age but a little older.
“Um, hi?” Dan replies, slightly nervous. “Can I help you?”
“I was just walking around and I noticed you two standing here… and I haven’t met you two before. And, being the son of the man who currently runs Halloweentown, I couldn’t not say hello,” the boy says, politely, with a smile on his face. “My name is Phil. Yours?”
“Um…”
“My name is Addy,” Addy greets cheerfully, shaking Phil’s hands.
Dan looks over at Addy and glares at her. “What are you doing?” He hisses.
“Oh, I see. You don’t have to worry about me. I just like to know everybody in Halloweentown,” Phil says.
“Ignore my brother. He’s always on edge like this. His name is Dan,” Addy tells him.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you. Maybe I could show you around Halloweentown?” Phil offers with a smile.
“Actually… we were looking for our grandma,” Dan says. “Her name is Aggie.”
“Aggie? Aggie Cromwell?” Phil asks, his eyes lighting up. “She’s your grandmother?”
“Wait… you know who Aggie is?” Dan asks, raising his eyebrows. “Do you know where she lives? We have no idea where we are so we don’t know where to even begin looking.”
Phil chuckles. “This must be your first visit to Halloweentown. And, of course I know who Aggie is. Everybody knows who she is. She’s lived in the same house for 200 years,” he tells them.
Dan looks over at Addy with wide eyes. “200 years?”
“I didn’t know grandma was that old,” Addy mumbles, just as shocked as Dan.
“I knew there was something going on that she wasn’t telling us,” Dan mumbles.
“And just how did you know that?” Addy asks, crossing her arms against her chest.
“Oh, come on. If you actually paid attention like I did, then you would have figured it out before now. There are more important things to worry about than boys,” Dan snaps, glaring at Addy.
“Okay,” Phil says, raising his eyebrows as he watches the two. “Why don’t I show you guys around Halloweentown? There’s some really cool places you would love to see.”
Dan bites his lip slightly. “Okay, but only for a little bit. We really should find our grandma soon, and it won’t be long before our mom starts to notice that we’re gone,” he says. “We’re going to be in so much trouble.”
“I promise the trouble will be worth it. Halloweentown is one amazing and magical place,” Phil grins.
“What happened to not talking to strangers?” Addy whispers to Dan as they start following Phil.
“He knows who grandma is. He can’t be that much of a stranger,” Dan whispers back to her, shrugging.
Addy rolls her eyes, but continues to follow the two anyways.
Phil shows Dan and Addy around Halloweentown, showing them all the random shops in the town. It’s been over an hour now and Dan has almost completely forgotten about why they were actually there.
“Is that a broomstick shop?” Dan asks, pointing to one of the shops.
“Mhm. But it’s not just any old broomstick shops. Those are flying brooms,” Phil tells him.
“Wow!” Dan’s eyes widen. “I want to try one of those.”
“Dan,” Addy whispers as she tugs on Dan’s shirt sleeve. “We really should be finding grandma now.”
Dan whines and looks over at Addy. “Come on, why do you have to ruin all the fun?”
“She’s right. You probably should go find your grandma. I apologize for taking so long. I just love showing new people around town. It was lovely to meet you though. I hope to see you again soon?”
“Oh yes. If I have anything to do with it… I will be back here. Thank you for taking the time to show us around. I really enjoyed it. Halloweentown really is a magical place,” Dan smiles as he looks up at Phil.
“So, do you know where our grandma lives?” Addy asks Phil.
“Of course. Like I said, she’s lived in the same house for over 200 years. I can get a ride for you,”
“Really?” Dan asks. “Wow. Thank you so much.”
“Of course,” Phil smiles, and makes a whistle sound. Seconds later, a taxi rolls up in front of them.
“That was-” Dan’s eyes widen when he sees that the driver is a skeleton. A talking skeleton. “I’m…”
“Good evening. I’m Benny,” the driver speaks cheerfully, making both Dan and Addy jump.
“Is that a…?”
“This is Halloweentown. I’ve learned not to question things at this point,” Dan whispers to Addy.
“Grandma as a lot of explaining to do,” Addy mumbles before climbing into the taxi.
“So, I’ll see you later?” Dan asks, smiling shyly at Phil.
“I hope so. It was nice to talk to people like me for once. I’m always around Halloweentown. Just look and I’m sure you’ll find me somewhere around here,” Phil says, taking a step back.
Dan smiles and waves at Phil before also stepping into the taxi, sliding in next to Addy.
“Drive safe!” Phil calls as he shuts the door for Dan.
“Bye!” Dan calls back at Phil, waving to him. He sits back in the seat and lets out a happy sigh.
“Looks like Danny has a crush,” Addy sings, smirking when Dan rolls his eyes.
“I do not have a crush,” Dan snaps, shoving Addy.
“Do to!” Addy huffs and shoves Dan back. “You were totally flirting with him the entire time.”
“I was not flirting with him. I hardly even know anything about him,” Dan rolls his eyes with annoyance.
“So, what? That doesn’t mean anything. You totally have a crush on him,” Addy giggles. “He is cute.”
“Hey, back off! I saw him first,” Dan sticks his tongue out at her.
**
Of course, Dan and Addy’s mom was furious when she found out that her children had snuck off to Halloweentown. Now the two children knew that they had magic powers and they both wanted to learn more about them despite what their mother had told them. They knew Aggie would teach them all about it.
“So, do you know a Phil Lester?” Dan asks curiously as he sits with his grandma at her kitchen table.
“Phil Lester?” Aggie looks up at Dan curiously. “Of course I do. Everybody knows who he is.”
“That’s funny,” Dan laughs. “He said the same thing when I asked him about you. Who is he?”
“He’s the son of the man who runs Halloweentown, and keeps everything in order,” she explains. “He’s a very sweet boy. He’s always helping as much as he can, whenever he can. He doesn’t even care that he has magic powers either. I’m sure he would get along great with your mother.”
“Ugh,” Dan rolls his eyes. “Don’t get me started. Anyways, he seems really nice…”
“He is. You met him then? He’s always walking around Halloweentown,”
“Yes. He was the first person we talked to after getting off the bus. He showed us around Halloweentown. And, grandma. You totally have to teach me how to fly a broom. They look so cool!” Dan squeals excitedly.
“Ah, yes. I should have known you’d be drawn to the brooms,” she chuckles.
“But, anyways… I was wondering if there was a way I could keep in contact with Phil. He was really nice and I really wanted to see him again. I’m sure mom will do everything in power to keep us out of Halloweentown so that’s why I was hoping you would help me,” Dan says, blushing slightly.
Aggie smiles, instantly knowing what Dan is hinting at. “I would love to help you. it'll be our little secret,”
“Yeah, except Addy knows and she’ll probably tell mom as soon as we get home,” Dan rolls his eyes.
“Don’t worry about your sister, dear. She’ll probably forget once she starts learning about magic,”
“I guess so,” Dan mumbles with a shrug. “She’ll use this to blackmail me in the future though.”
“Oh, don’t be silly. Addy would do no such thing of that sort,” Aggie says.
“She has an evil side, grandma. You just haven’t seen it yet!” Dan exclaims.
“You two,” Aggie chuckles and shakes her head.
Dan can’t help but smile. He’s just glad that his grandma isn’t mad at him for following her.
**
Of course, Dan had to go home the moment his and Addy’s mom arrived in Halloweentown.
Dan didn’t get to see Phil again which had been really disappointing to Dan. He has hopes that he’ll be able to talk to his mom about going back to Halloweentown again though.
**
Dan didn’t get to go back to Halloweentown until he was finished with high school, and he was eighteen, which is when he’s officially allowed to make his own decisions.
“I’m going back to Halloweentown,” Dan announces one evening when he’s in the living room with his mom and sister. They had just finished dinner and were just relaxing in the living room, watching TV.
“Say that again?” Gwen asks as she looks over at Dan.
“You said that I couldn’t go back to Halloweentown until I was able to make my own decisions. And, well… I’m eighteen now. I’m out of high school. I’m going to stay with grandma for the summer and see how well that works out before I make my decision on what I want to do,” Dan explains. “I already talked to grandma about this and she agreed to let me stay with her as long as I help around the house.”
“You spoke to your grandmother without telling me first?” Gwen asks, frowning. “Daniel…”
“I know, but you would have said no,” Dan sighs. “I’m going back to Halloweentown.”
Gwen sighs. “You are eighteen now,” she mumbles. “At least you’ve thought about this, and have somewhat of a plan. And what exactly are you planning to do this summer?”
“Work on my magic. I haven’t been able to use any of my powers because you haven’t let me,”
“Because we’re not in Halloweentown, and I don’t want anything to happen to you,” Gwen tells him.
“Okay, fair point. Knowing me I would have done something stupid to expose us. But, yeah… I want to work on my magic and I want to learn how to fly a broom,” Dan smiles. “And, there was this really cute boy we met the first time we went. I wanna see if I can find him again.”
Addy rolls her eyes. “You’re still hung up on him? It’s been like… four years,”
“He was nice, and he was cute. If it weren’t for him we’d probably still be stuck in Halloweentown!”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” Addy mumbles. “But we would have been stuck there for awhile.”
“Not that I would have minded because wow. Did you see all of those cool shops?” Dan asks excitedly.
Gwen chuckles and rolls her eyes. “And, when do you plan on leaving?” She asks curiously.
“This weekend on Halloween. I’m going on the bus and heading straight to grandma’s!”
Dan had been anxious throughout the rest of the week. He’s so excited about going back to Halloweentown but he also can’t help but feel a little nervous. He’s never done something like this before and he just wants everything to go smoothly. His grandma explained to him what was going to happen so he should be able to do this without having any problems. But, Dan can be very unpredictable.
Dan would also like to think he’s grown up a lot since his last visit to Halloweentown.
“Bye mom! I’ll see you after summer!” Dan shouts before stepping onto the bus. He’s not even phased anymore at the fact that there are goblins and other creature like people on the bus. He actually loves it.
It didn’t take Dan very long to get settled into his new life at Halloweentown. He absolutely loved the place and all the people that lived in it. He made a lot of friends surprisingly, mostly thanks to his grandma. He liked learning about the different kinds of magic.He was slowly getting used to learning how to use magic.
The first week at Halloweentown, he really focused on learning how to fly on a broom. He picked out a nice broom from the shop and he was absolutely in love with it.
“Dan?”
Dan flips around when he hears someone saying his name. His eyes light up when he sees that it’s Phil.
“Phil!” Dan smiles and hugs him. “Wow. So good to see you again.”
“It’s been so long since I’ve last seen you. You’ve all grown up now,” Phil pulls away from the hug.
“Yeah, sorry about that. My mom forbid me from coming back to Halloweentown until now. I’m staying for the whole summer now though with my grandma,” Dan explains.
“That’s wonderful,” Phil grins. “So, I’ll be seeing you a lot more now, then?” He asks.
“Yes, definitely,” Dan says. “I’m surprised I’m only just now seeing you. I’ve been here a week.”
“I’m a busy man,” Phil chuckles. “But… I was wondering. I didn’t want to ask this before because I didn’t want to be too forward but, would you like to go out with me sometime?”
“Really?” Dan asks, blushing. “Like… as a date?”
“If you want it to be, sure,” Phil nods. “We can just hang out as friends, or it can be a date.”
“You know, I think I prefer the second option,” Dan giggles, feeling himself blushing.
“Wonderful. When are you available next?” Phil asks curiously.
“Actually… I’m going flying later on. I’ve been learning how to use a broom properly. Maybe we could fly somewhere and just, hang out? Plus, I would feel better if I had someone with me,”
“Oh, I love flying!” Phil exclaims as his eyes light up.
It was just a few hours later when Dan was waiting at his grandma’s house for Phil. He had been practicing flying on his broom, making sure his balance was perfect. He didn’t want to make a fool of himself in front of Phil. He was, after all, going to be the one flying the broom.
“I’m impressed,”
Dan let out a scream when he heard the voice come out of nowhere, causing him to let go of his broom and lose balance and tumble to the ground with a loud thud.
“Oh my gosh. Are you okay?” Phil asks, rushing over to Dan’s side.
Dan groans as he looks up at Phil. “Don’t you know better than to sneak up on someone on a broom?”
Phil laughs. “I do now. Are you okay?” He asks as he helps Dan up from the ground.
“Yeah, thanks,” Dan blushes as he looks up at Phil. “Ready to go?”
“I’ve got the picnic basket,” Phil grins as he holds up a picnic basket.
“That’s sweet,” Dan smiles at Phil and then he reaches down and grabs his broom from the ground. Dan gets on the broom first and then Phil gets on the broom behind him. “Hold on tight.”
“I’ve got you,” Phil says as he wraps an arm around Dan’s stomach to hold onto him.
“And here we go,” Dan says as he and Phil take off into the dark night.
fin.
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shanisdunn · 3 years
Audio
(Shannon: In 2015, the New York Times featured Mandy Len Catron’s essay, “To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This.”  The essay was based on a study by a psychologist, where he explored whether or not asking personal and intimate questions to strangers can accelerate the intimacy between them. The 36 questions were broken into three sets, with each set becoming more personal than the last. Because of the times we are in, I was not able to ask a stranger, but a friend whom I’ve known since my early high school days. While I did ask all 36 questions to her, this is just a selection of them. We found ourselves talking about childhood, living, dying, and her extensive collection of K-Pop photo cards. There was laughter, there was tension, but above all, there was love.)
Shannon: Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
Merritt: Hmm.. Harry Styles.
Shannon: (laughs) Yeah?
Merritt: (laughs) Yes.
Shannon: That’s a good choice.
(Shannon: While questions started off innocently, others of them took a more dramatic turn.)
Shannon: Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
Merritt: No, but... I don’t know. I feel like I’ll be alone. Like I think about being alone.
Shannon: That’s so sad!
Merritt: (laughs) I know! I know.  I don’t know.
Shannon: Let me know if you ever feel like you’re dying. I’ll come hang out with you.
Merritt: Alright, perfect.
Shannon: I don’t want you to die alone. 
Merritt: (laughs) I’ll invite you over. Hopefully it won’t be too traumatic.
(Shannon: These questions bounce around a bit and we come back to the topic of death on further questions, but others deal with the future and what we’d want for ourselves. Whether or not those hopes are achievable, I don’t know. But I’d like to think so.)
Shannon: If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Merritt: Umm, probably the ability to like set my mind to a goal and just like get it done. Like if I wanted to do something, I could just do it and work for it without giving up easily or like–
Shannon: Oh, the dream.
Merritt: I don’t know like if i woke up and said “I’m gonna finish this,” I could wake up and finish that. My sister and I were just talking about my aunt um and she’s just like the coolest person ever. But she just wakes up every morning– she’s the one we visited in Sweden– she just wakes up every day with something she wants to do and she does it! It’s just amazing. So that’s definitely what I would want to be like.
Shannon: If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
Merritt: Um, I mean it would– I don’t know. Like, I’d ask if I’m wasting my time right now. I feel like a lot of the time I worry that I’m just like doing nothing and like everything I’m doing is like not going to lead to something better. So I’d wonder if like– if everything I’m doing now would like be worth it.
Shannon: Well I’m not a crystal ball, but I feel like if you’re happy right now then it is worth it.
Shannon: If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are living now and why?
Merritt: If I knew that I was gonna die in one year... I would stop working as much as I do, but not completely cause i love my coworkers, and I’d wanna spend time with them. But I would, you know, stop focusing so much of my life on work because I think I waste– not waste, but like I spend too much time working. Um I’d be more intentional with the things I do. Like I said, I’d set a goal and do it as to not waste time. I’d try not to waste time, cause I do that a lot. I wouldn’t wanna like not do anything.
Shannon: Yeah. Well it’s especially hard now, because who knows in a year from today if well still be, you knowl in a pandemic. So that makes this question like double challenging.
Merritt: Yeah. I say if we weren’t like in a pandemic, I’d use all the savings that I have right now, that I’m saving for school, and I’d use that to do my traveling and do the things I want. And that’s such like a cliche, like “oh you’re gonna die and you go travel,” but I think that’s where my whole future is.
Shannon: Yeah.
Merritt: So I’d wanna get as much of that in as I can.
(Shannon: After talking about hopes and dreams, we get onto the topic of family.)
Shannon: How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s? (laughs)
(Shannon: I find myself chuckling here because we’d already talked about the traumas of childhood including her worst memories, which I chose to leave out because of how painful they are.)
Merritt: Um so I’d say my like childhood childhood was really good. Like I grew up with a lot of siblings, who were like not super close in age with me. I was the oldest, but there was always a baby around and I could always play with Tali and I’d play outside with the boys. My grandma lived super close to me and she still does so that’s a huge factor, being able to be so close to her and have her presence in my life cause that’s huge.
Merritt: Um my middle childhood I mean like early teen years, so I’d say from like 6th grade to 9th grade, or like beginning of 9th grade wasn’t the best. I feel like during that time I really got disconnected from my family and sometimes I don’t know if they pushed hard enough to get me back, or if i just didn’t– or they did and I didn’t recognize that they were trying, cause I was pushing them away so much. By like that time, I was online a lot and I’d met my online friends and that’s when I started falling into like my fandoms. And I was just doing other stuff. I just didn’t wanna be around my family. And then obviously I had a really bad relationship with my mom for a few years.
Merritt: But now, I’d say from like junior year to now has just been super good– mainly senior year, like senior year to now um just really good. I mean I don’t know what shifted; I think I started just becoming more independent, but not in a bad way, like not independent whereas before I’d like hole myself up in my room, but now I’m independent where I’m, you know, going to school and I’m working. I’m just more mature and grown up now. And now that I’m more grown up and mature, I definitely take on more of like a motherly role with my younger siblings, but like I do care about them a lot and I like kind of take care of them in the older sister way. But I’d say now its really good. It’s come full circle, we’re back to when i was a little kid. Just had a little bump along the way in middle school.
(Shannon: The topic of family can always be tricky, but soon we find ourselves away from that, instead talking about love and affection.)
Shannon: Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share...”
Merritt: I wish I had someone to share my affection with. Cause I feel like sometimes my need for affection goes beyond like hugging my sister, or like, you know, just like cuddling with my cat. I feel like it goes beyond that sometimes
Shannon: Yeah. Like, every day I wake up and I’m not dating an anime boy. (laughs)
Merritt: Mhmm! Every day I wake up and I’m not dating a k-pop boy.
Shannon: (laughs)
Merritt: it’s painful (laughs)
(Shannon: The thought of k-pop boys continues to dawdle in our minds, and is brought back up in a later answer, for which I asked what one thing she’d save from her home if she had time to go back after all of her family was out.)
Merritt: This is so dumb, but I’d go get my binder of photo cards. (laughs) So embarrassing. Um, but they’re like thousands of dollars worth so... (laughs) I’d take those.
(Shannon: She continues on explaining the significance behind them.)
Merritt: It’s dumb, but like before when I was first getting into k-pop, Tali was like “oh yeah there– people will collect photo cards” and like– “They collect photo cards and they spend so much money” [At this point, she got up to go bring over her box of photo cards to show me] And I’m like– “I would never ever collect photo cards! Like who does that? (laughs) Like who has this desire to own pictures of all these men? Men!” And now I– (laughs) Pages worth! Of just. These are like the– oh no I just dumped them everywhere. Just the loose ones that are just out. I just have pages. Of men.
Shannon: Pages of men.
Merritt: Pages. Of– of men. It’s literally a piece of paper. I have one on my computer. They bring me so much joy. I’m telling you. It can’t be compare– you can’t compare it to anything.
(Shannon: The rest of our time is spent talking about problems she’s faced and how we’d fix them, and other general catching up. Eventually, all that’s left is the goodbye.)
Shannon: Okay.
Merritt: Alright.
Shannon: Thank you so much–
Merritt: You’re welcome!
Shannon: For sitting down with me and answering–
Merritt: You’re welcome, I missed you! I miss you.
Shannon: These intimate questions. I miss you too!
Merritt: When are you coming home?
(Shannon: I tell her late November, and we start conversing again about potential plans before the final goodbye.)
Shannon: Mkay.
Merritt: Alright.
Shannon: I’m gonna let you go.
Merritt: Bye love you!
Shannon: Bye! Love you the most.
Merritt: Love you so much. Have a good day.
Shannon: You too!
(Shannon: I know Merritt and I aren’t strangers, but I’m left with newfound love in my heart which I’m not sure was there before. If this conversation was between a stranger and me, I definitely think that depending on their answers, we, too, would become friends.)
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eyesaremosaics · 7 years
Note
Do you ever feel like if you don't have kids, you're somehow failing your ancestors or perhaps denying yourself the chance to "reincarnate" again? I always have a dark inkling about it, some guilt. I just don't feel like I'd be a capable parent at this point. Maybe never? Ahhh. What do you feel about reincarnation in general? It always seemed the most natural, cyclical conclusion to me. Balanced. I want to believe some souls that are especially close will seek each other in the next life.
I think there are many souls incarnating to this planet. Many new souls excited to make their experience physical. However, I also think there are many old souls ready to cycle back to the universe. That they have experienced every axis of the physical realm (good and bad) and are ready to move on to a greater level of consciousness. When all the old souls of a particular “collective” cycle off, there will be room for new souls to incarnate. Everything in this universe has a cycle. Including the universe itself.
According to most eastern religions (Buddhism, Hinduism) reincarnation is a process where you have a cycle of experiences. The order in which it manifests, depends upon the interpretation. The common denominator in all religions that believe in the concept of reincarnation are that good deeds assist your expansion, bad deeds set you back, yet teach you valuable lessons.
The goal of the soul is to learn every possible aspect of the physical experience. They need to experience and explore every aspect of the physical realm before they can move on.
My understanding is that there are base levels of consciousness. The first and lowest being the physical. It takes 50-100 lives to experience every aspect of becoming a tangible being in the first plane. That includes plants, animals and ultimately humans (or highly intelligent beings on another planet or dimension possibly, if consciousness exists here, why wouldn't it exist there?). .
I also feel there are multi layers of reality. Things that exist that we can’t see. I have entertained the idea of a parallel universe, or unseen realms. There is more to the universe than what our limited mind can perceive. My understanding is the second level of consciousness is the astral plane, which deals with dreams. It’s where we go when we dream, and where spirits imprint gets stuck as a “ghost”. I don’t think the soul itself is necessarily stuck there. I don’t think the soul is trapped there, rather than the memory of the trauma is trapped.
This is evidence : when someone has an intense fight in a room. Even if both parties leave the space, the tension hangs in the air. You still feel it. Spirits are the same way. My sister had a spirit following her for months. She said she could feel a young girl with curly, light brown hair sitting in her backseat. It freaked her out at first, until she realized the girl was lost. My sister is a Virgo, very practical, not spiritual, always questioning. This ghost girl would not leave her alone. My sister said that the ghost started appearing she after she visited a vacant rural area with some friends. It latched on to my sister, and the ghost seemed deeply distrustful of men. She appeared frightened. My sister has a horrible feeling that the girl was killed, and her body was dumped somewhere in the vacant location my sister and her friends had been hanging out at.
My sister is not one to invent wild stories. The ghost girl was attaching to my sister, because she was in a similar situation. The ghost was trying to protect her. The trauma of what happened in a particular space, is stuck if the situation is not acknowledged. It's like an echo, or a reverb. What “ghosts” need is acknowledgment. They need the trauma to be validated. Usually after that, the trauma is released.
For example: I lived in a 3 story building in my hometown, you come in through the top and go down. On the bottom level was my mother's art studio, my own bathroom, and my bedroom. Every time I went to go up the stairs… I felt a desperate energy that seemed to scream.. “DON’T LEAVE ME!”
My grandma cleared the energy in the space with chanting while burning sage. My grandma discovered that a man had been badly injured on the property back in the 1800s before the house was built. He was unable to get back to camp . He died where our house was built, do his spirit haunted the place of his death, looking to be rescued. When I finally told him what happened, he seemed to slowly understand, sadly. Over time, he was gone. It took time, but the trauma resolved.
To be honest, no, I do not feel like I am failing my ancestors. We are in a period of excess, in general. There are too many people on this planet, and honestly, young/baby/infant souls. The soul ages go as follows:
Infant soul: survival Baby soul: the rules (follower) Young soul: power “what you have is what you are”Mature soul: heavy drama (AIDS, Cancer, deformity, autism)Old soul: tying off loose ends. Returning to source.
Infant souls are animals, they are first incarnate. Everything is new to them. It’s all about survival. They operate from how they can survive and that is it. Human beings that operate from this place are in the higher levels of infant soul. This is in tribes, or 3rd world countries where life is short. They learn purely to survive.
The next level is baby soul. Baby souls are sheep. They are all about learning the rules of their environment. They Lear babe rules and abide by them adamantly. They are not complex individuals. They are dull and suited for service work. They learn these levels of hardworking blue collar experience, and at the higher levels question/move on. Within each soul age are levels. Their ate seven levels with each soul level, seven is the historically magical number.
Young souls… We live In a primarily young soul society: bigger better, faster, stronger, prettier. For the young soul, life is a showcase. It’s all about appearances, success, possessions, dominion.
Mature souls deal with all the heavy karma’s they have acquired in earlier lives. This is the time you will have AIDS, get cancer, have some rare disease, lose all your loved ones, have careers fail etc. this life is about loss, rebirth and resilience. It’s the time of suffering, so you can release and move into new states of being.
When you become an old soul, you are tying off loose ends of the tapestry. You know that life is short, -and you try to rectify or fix all your issues with lady souls. Often they won’t, because their lesson is gl be angry, just as yours wax in another life. They are looking for resolution and catharsis just as much as they are.
Younger souls, they think they understand the plight of the old soul, but they don’t. They don’t understand the journey.
Have you ever thought to consider that there are too many people on this planet? And that maybe you were not meant to procreate? Honestly, there is nothing wrong with that, and it doesn’t diminish your chance of reincarnating at all. It just means this particular incarnation chose not to have that experience. Nothing wrong with that. You will still cone around, and in another life you will have a child, or perhaps you already had one in another life and want to experience the opposite in this life.
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writersblocklhs · 7 years
Text
The Quintus Sisters- one
From the Files of the Council
The Quintus Family
Mayta Quintus
Power: member of the original twelve
Score: NA
Job: council member
Family: Father- none, Mother- none, Husband- Rindus Quintus (deceased), daughter- Tidra Quintus, daughter- Amistia Quintus (deceased), daughter- Aitsima Quintus, Granddaughter- Calea Quintus, Granddaughter- Soreda Quintus
Comments: None
Rindus Quintus nee Novendecim (Deceased)
Power- Healing
Score-1081/2000
Job: Teacher, medic
Family: Father- none, mother- none, Wife- Mayta Quintus, daughter- Tidra Quintus, daughter- Amistia Quintus (deceased), daughter- Aitsima Quintus, Granddaughter- Calea Quintus, Granddaughter- Soreda Quintus
Cause of Death- Dovelmudd sickness
Comments: none
Tidra Quintus
Power: Telepathy
Score: 1974/2000
Job: Vegetable Farmer
Family: Father- Rindus Quintus (deceased), Mother- Mayta Quintus, Younger Sister- Amistia Quintus (deceased), Younger Sister- Aitsima Quintus, Niece- Calea Quintus, Niece- Soreda Quintus
Comments: Spent some time as volunteer at the age of 23, has highest score known so far. Tidra Quintus and sisters are the only known people who can communicate thoughts rather than feelings, but only with each other
Amistia Quintus (Deceased)
Power: Telepathy, telekinesis
Score: 1034/2000
Job: Cleaning
Family: Father- Rindus Quintus (deceased), Mother- Mayta Quintus, Older Sister- Tidra Quintus, Twin Sister- Aitsima Quintus, Niece- Calea Quintus, Niece- Soreda Quintus
Cause of Death: Explosion while on mission
Comments: Amistia Quintus and sisters are only known people who can communicate thoughts rather than feelings, but only with each other. Amistia Quintus is one of few people other than original twelve with more than one power
Aitsima Quintus
Power: Telepathy, Telekinesis
Score: 1034/2000
Job: Vegetable Farmer
Family: Father- Rindus Quintus (deceased), Mother- Mayta Quintus, Older Sister- Tidra Quintus, Twin Sister- Amistia Quintus (deceased), Daughter- Calea Quintus, Daughter- Soreda Quintus
Comments: Spent some time as volunteer at age 21, was given job on mission control from 21-30 before being relieved of duty at recommendation of Mayta Quintus, Aitsima Quintus and sisters are only known people who can communicate thoughts rather than feelings, but only with each other. Aitsima Quintus is one of few people other than original twelve with more than one power
Calea Quintus
Power: TBD
Score: TBD
Job: TBD
Family: Father- Unknown, Mother- Aitsima Quintus, Grandmother- Tidra Quintus, Aunt- Amistia Quintus (deceased), Aunt- Tidra Quintus, Younger Sister- Soreda Quintus
Comments: None
Soreda Quintus
Power: TBD
Score: TBD
Job: TBD
Family: Father- unknown, Mother- Aitsima Quintus, Grandmother- Tidra Quintus, Aunt- Amistia Quintus (deceased), Aunt- Tidra Quintus, Older Sister- Calea Quintus
Comments: None
The worst thing about my childhood, I think, is not that it was based on lies, but it was based off of good lies, ones that I am guilty of wishing were true. The island I lived on had the illusion of safety and was also a good place to live, a little small, but comfortable, with a good community. I loved my family, my grandma, my Aunt Tidra, my mother, and my younger sister, Soreda. My only real complaint was school, a terribly boring waste of time.
It was called school, but Mom always used to say that it was just an excuse to keep the kids busy so the adults could do the mysterious, important adult business. We rarely learned anything, especially when I started going, at the age of 5. Often I would just go and play time-killing games with about 10 other kids like me, sitting on yoga mats in this one room wooden building.
one of my earliest placeable memories was the day I took my test to discover my power, in that very school.
I remember that morning, the teacher taking attendance as usual as a bigger kid played the drums that were next to the bench in the front of the room. I never knew why they were there, probably for the same reason that the back of the room had posters about fish.
Usually we wouldn’t do anything important in school, but somedays, we would learn history. That day, another teacher came in, and sat down on a sky blue mat so that she could teach us.
“Does anyone know why we can’t leave the island?“ She asked, in the tone of voice I recognised even then as the one adults use with young children.
I raised my hand, always eager to show everyone how much i knew, but she called on Maggena instead. “So that the bad people don’t get us.“ She said.
I stretched out my hand, bouncing up and down on my yoga mat. I knew I could give a better answer than Maggena. But the teacher didn’t call on me, so I had to shout it out.
“The bad people are the Obris. They took over the world after the flood and they made 12 people like my grandma-“
“Don’t interrupt, Calea.“ My regular teacher, Diana, said sternly.
“Does anyone know what those 12 people are called?” The history teacher asked.
Everyone knew the answer to that one, so everyone raised their hands. The teacher called on a boy named Nicolderus.
“The council!”
At this point, I was very frustrated. “The original 12!” I said.
“Calea!” Diana said.
“Sorry.” I mumbled, not because I was, but because I wanted to avoid an argument over the matter.
“We call the first 12 people to be created through genetic engineering the original 12.” The history teacher explained. “Of course, they weren’t the first people to have superhuman abilities, merely the first ones to have ones that were created artificially, and thus the most powerful. Unfortunately for the Obris, this meant that they were able to escape, and to conquer this island and use their abilities to protect it from the obris. Despite the obris’ efforts, no one has been able to reproduce anyone like the original twelve.” She turned to Nicolderus. “The council is the original twelve’s job, as they founded and protected it, they’re also the ones who control it.”
She continued to talk about the history of the island, which wasn’t very long, as we have not lived here for long. I raised my hand, but the history teacher ignored me, until I inevitably shouted my question out.
“But how do the original twelve protect the island?” I asked. I knew the answer, but I wanted the teacher to talk about the machine, which I found far more interesting than whatever it was she was talking about.
The history teacher ignored me when I asked my question, but Diana decided that enough was enough, and took me aside, out of the building, to reprimand me for speaking out of turn so many times.
After the morning activity, we went outside to wait for our parents, with the promise that we would take the test after lunch, making me nervous. In front of the school there was this volleyball court, really just an old fishing net tied between two poles, to the south of the ocean near the swimming areas. Some of the kids played, but I hated sports, sat on a wooden picnic bench and watched. I sat at the front of the bench, my head facing the field to my right, with the tall grasses to my left. I didn’t pay much attention to the game, I didn’t like watching sports that much more than playing them. It was very boring.
Finally my mother came to pick me up. She was wearing that ratty, oversized turquoise sweatshirt that she always wore, long enough that you could only see the tips of her fingers underneath it, over an orange turtleneck and long black pants. She must have been sweltering in it, it was one of those days that was so hot and humid that you could feel it in the air, pressing up against your skin, but she didn’t complain. her chestnut hair was wrapped up tightly in a bun, not a single strand daring to fall loose of it. She was holding my little sister, Soreda, then only two.
With her was my aunt Tidra, dressed in her favorite shade of green. Aunt Tidra was only a few years older than my mother, but she looked much older. Her hair was cut short and completely white, and her face was lined, which I always thought was due to the fact that she scowled so much. She was scowling now, absentmindedly fiddling with her necklace, the one piece of jewelry she always wore. It had 20, fat wooden beads, 10 of which were turquoise and 10 of which were green with just the slightest hint of yellow, only visible if you held it up against something that was a purer shade of green, and then only barely. But was really impressive about the necklace were the orange dots, which were painted on each bead, and had a gradient, that allowed it to, slowly and carefully, transition to green or turquoise. Whomever had made it had clearly spent a lot of time on it.
We walked to the main building, with the mess hall, together, past the vegetable garden where Aunt Tidra and my mother worked, across the lawn, over to the crowded porch. On the way, I told them all about my day in school so far, preferring not to let my Aunt Tidra talk.
We got lunch, and met with my Grandma at the table she was sitting at. She was dressed in boring but practical clothes, all brown, a smile on her face just for me when she saw me. She was the only person in our family with blue eyes.
“Hey Calea!” Grandma said. “How was school?”
“They’re mad at me.” I mumbled. Best to tell Grandma I was in trouble before Diana did.
“What’s that?”
“They’re mad at me.” I said, more loudly.
“Why?”
“Because I spoke out of turn.”
“You need to listen to what other people have to say, Lea.” My mom interjected.
“Shut up!” Snapped Aunt Tidra, glaring at her. Mom shrank back into her seat.
Grandma ignored the exchange between her daughters, as usual, and addressed me directly. “Why did you speak out of turn?”
“Because no one was calling on me.”
“Patience is a virtue.” Grandma said. “One that you’ll need as an adult.”
I sighed, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible. “I know.”
“They need to pay attention to the other kids too, you know.” Aunt Tidra added.
“But I know all the answers.“
Mom laughed, and Aunt Tidra glared at her. “Don’t encourage her!”
“You’re taking your test today, aren’t you?” Grandma asked over them. I nodded. “Nervous?”
“Are you sure I have powers?” I asked. “I can’t do anything like you and Mom and Aunt Tidra can.”
Aunt Tidra scowled at my mother, who was trying to get Soreda to eat some of the vegetables, rage simmering behind her eyes. “She doesn’t like it, don’t make her eat it!” She hissed.
“That’s because it takes practice.” Grandma said, answering my earlier concerns. “Your Aunt Tidra, your mother, neither of them could do much when they were kids.”
Mom pressed her lips together in a straight line.
“We could communicate telepathically for as long as we could talk. Maybe even longer.” Aunt Tidra said.
“True.” Grandma said. “But you couldn’t sense people’s emotions until you practiced, and Aitsima took years before she even realized she had telekenesis.”
Aunt Tidra smiled, then turned her attention fully to me. “You’ll be fine.” She assured me. “And no matter what happens, it won’t matter to us. You’re more than just your power.”
I hoped she was right.
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salted-barbed-wire · 7 years
Text
Soulmates
Okay. NEW SERIES! I had to do it because my love for AJ is beginning to over take my whole life. I did this one based off an AU prompt that’s been floating around. Basically the OC has an antique necklace that her grandma gave her that’s got supposed special powers to find her soulmate. She obviously doesn’t believe that, until she meet AJ Styles (the man she’s been crushing on for a while now), in person for the first time and something odd happens. I hope you all like it!
Tag list: (Shield sisters get tagged no matter what. Even if they don’t like AJ, *Cough cough* Asylum *Cough, cough*) @i-kneel-for-king-loki @straight-outta-the-asylum @livingthestrongstyle @the-geekgoddes @geekoftv @planetahmane @ajstylesworld @littledeadrottinghood @thatwrestlingfan91 @lovemybtrboys @wrestlingbabe @xstylesxclashx @littlebluespoon @gurimujox @superrezzy00 @stardustmoonlightflower @blondekel77 @pjanina13 @wrestlingnoob @lady-laura-speaks @phenominalstyles @caffeineandreveries
Warnings: FLUFF Word Count: 2869 (whoops)
Chapter One: Electricity
“Whatever souls are made of, his and I’s are the same.”
 ….
I watched the screen in catering with a disgruntled look on my face. It’s not fair. I thought to myself looking down at my sprained ankle. I twist this son of bitch and now I don’t get a match for weeks but Sasha gets to come out a beat the crap out of Charlotte after Becky lost? I rolled my eyes.
I had just witnessed the women’s match at one of the most renowned shows on this earth. It was Wrestlemania season which meant this Royal Rumble match was going to be huge. All the superstars had to give it their all. I should’ve been out there. I should’ve been the one that had a title match with Charlotte. But I’m here, stuck on the sidelines. I did have to admit; these new girls were good.
“Hey, (Y/N)!” I heard a tired voice come from behind me.
I turned to Naomi all dressed up pretty, “Well look at that dress. Heart eyes!” I giggled and hugged my friend, “How are you?”
“The better question is, how are you? And why are you sitting here torturing yourself?” She gave me knowing look.
I sighed, “I just wanted to be here to watch.”
“Girl, you could’ve done that on your couch. So, am going to ask again, why are you here?”
“I don’t know.” I looked up at the screen again. “I’ve been out for a month and I still have weeks until I can come back. I hate being on the sidelines.”
“I know.” She rubbed my shoulder. “Have you heard any of the rumors?”
“What rumors?”
“There’s supposed to be a huge surprise entrant.”  She smiled as she sat down at a table.
I sat next to her, “Who?”
“I don’t know.” Naomi shrugged. “I just heard it’s a big name. Shall we watch and find out?”
I nodded and watched intently.
A few minutes in I felt like Naomi was watching me. “Girl, what?” I glared at her.
“I’ve never noticed that necklace before.” She pointed at my clavicle.
“Really? I wear it all the time.” I touched the heart-shaped pendant with two small diamonds on the inside. “My grandma gave it to me. Apparently, it’s cursed.”
Naomi started laughing hard, “Cursed?” She snorted. “Then why did she give it to you?”
“I don’t know. I think it was just a joke. She said it was how she met my grandpa and how her mom met her dad and so on.” I looked down at it. “Something about how they got matching tattoos or something.”
“Matching tattoos?”
“Yeah, apparently when you find your soul mate, this necklace somehow makes you and your partner get the same tattoo.” I shrugged. “I doubt it’s true but my grandparents did get matching tats when they were younger.”
“Weird. Hey look!” Naomi pointed. “Whose entrance is this?”
I turned my attention back to the television and watched as the lights and tron glowed blue. A soft hip-hop beat rocked over the speakers and a hooded shape walked into the arena. My eyes got wide, It’s him!
He flipped his hood up as the lyrics came over the sound system. I stood up out of my chair and grinned ear to ear. The crowd popped and I wished I was there with them.
“Who is that?” Naomi asked. “AJ Styles? Do I know him?”
“Probably not, he’s an indie. He was in New Japan running the bullet club after Finn came over to NXT.”
“Bullet club?”
“Ask Finn next time you’re at the performance center. He started the whole thing. But AJ…” I smiled at the screen. I couldn’t believe he was going to be working for the same company as myself.
Naomi gave another chuckle, “Ohh someone is a fan girl? Got a crush?”
A blush spread across my face, “No! No way, I just…” I bit my lip, glancing between her and the Phenomenal one. “I just admire him, that’s all.”
“Uh-huh.” She rolled her eyes.
—–
I waited back stage and watched him getting ready to leave. He was wearing a grey hoodie and a pair of jeans that fit his lower body so well. I took a deep breath and walked towards him.
“Umm.. Excuse me? Mr. Jones?” I bit my lip as I said his name.
He looked up at me with bright blue eyes, his brown hair was partially covering them despite his ball cap trying to keep it in place. “Well hey there, sweet pea.” I felt my heart skip a few beats, “Call me AJ. Mr. Jones was my daddy.” He stuck his hand out for mine. “You must be, (Y/N).”
I reached out and took his hand. An electrical current ran up my arm, jump starting my heart. I felt like I had just stuck a key into an electrical outlet. AJ seemed to notice something too. His brows furrowed and his gazed looked down at our locked hand. I quickly pulled mine back. What the fuck was that?
I cleared my throat, “You know my name?”
“I do. I’ve been keeping tabs on everyone on the roster as of late. Even those who have been out for a few weeks.” He glanced down at my ankle. “Sorry that happened to you.”
I shrugged and nervously giggled. ���I guess it could be worse.”
He chuckled. “You’re not wrong there, sweet heart.”
These pet names are going to be the death of me. I shook my head to regain my focus, “Well, AJ. I really just wanted to welcome you. You know?” I kicked at some dust on the floor, “I followed you and the bullet club when you were in Japan. And it made me go back and look at your days in Ring of Honor and TNA. The word Phenomenal really does fit you.” I gave him a smile.
AJ licked his lip, “Well thank you, darlin’. You and I are going to get along just fine.” He gave me a wink. “My car is getting ready to leave but maybe we could go get coffee sometime?”
I about fell over. It took everything for me to keep my cool, “So that we can talk about you some more?” I teased.
AJ let out a full laugh, “Of course. What else would we talk about?” He handed me his phone. “You can put your number in and I’ll give you a text sometime tonight?” He looked down at my ankle, “You are still traveling with us, right?”
I nodded, “Yes sir!” AJ shifted for a second. What did I say wrong? I wondered. “Is that weird?” I asked.
Styles snapped out of whatever zone he was in, “Oh no, darlin’. You should go! It’s good for you to scout everyone out plus you’ll have me to keep you company.”
I smiled and tried to hold back the blush that was spreading across my face, “At least someone gets why I go.” I handed him his phone back after putting my name and number in, “Maybe when we have time, we can go to the performance center back home and you could show me some stuff.”
AJ’s eyes darkened as they slowly looked me up and down, “Yeah. I’d love to teach you somethin’.”
I felt my blood boil and my head spun a little. Is he hitting on me?
“Anyway, darlin’. I better get going. I’ll see you around?” He gave me another crooked smile.
“You will.”
And with that, AJ tipped his ball cap towards me and walked away.
—–
AJ POV:
“Well that was interesting.” I mumbled to myself as I walked away from (Y/N). I had been trying to figure out a way for me to approach her when I first realized I was going to be working with her. My research on the WWE talent had been basic until I saw her face. Then I watched the way she moved in the ring and I couldn’t help but dig deeper on her. (Y/N) was quite a bit younger than I was, 15 years to be exact. I sighed. There was no way she’d go for a dirty old man like myself. I sat down in the car to head to the airport; destination, Portland, Oregon. A very cold dark town. The whole drive I repeated in my head her facial expressions, the way she bit her lip, the way her voice sounded when she called me ‘sir’. I couldn’t help but clench my fist thinking of that word ‘sir’. My knuckles were white but there was a sudden pain on my wrist. I looked down to see a small marking on my wrist. It burned like the dickens. If I didn’t know any better it looked like one of those white-inked tattoos that the younger girls were getting. In fact, it looked a lot like a rose. “How strange.” I mumbled aloud. “Mr. Styles?” The driver asked. “Nothing,” I replied. “Nothing at all.”
—–
I woke up, bleary eyed and exhausted, as the rain pounded on the window pane to my hotel room. I could hear Naomi singing as she was getting ready in the bathroom. I groaned at the thought of getting out of bed. Especially after such a long night.
By the time Naomi, Natayla, and myself had made the long trip to the hotel, I was so tired. We all were. When we finally checked in and hauled our bags up to the room, I quickly squeezed in to my pajamas and scurried under the covers. Unfortunately, all I did was think about AJ all night long. Not to mention my wrists felt like it was on fire for most of the night.
I sighed and decided it was at least probably time to go down for breakfast. I hope they have omelets at this hotel. Or getting up won’t be freaking worth it at all! My stomach growled at the thought of a giant veggie omelet just waiting for me down stair.
I sat up and raised my arms above my head. My wrist burned a little again. Did I get bit by something or what? I pushed back the watch I had been wearing. I looked at the red mark from where my finger nails had been scratching over my flesh. There a scar had formed in the shape of a flowering rose. I let my fingers trace the puffed skin. It felt like a fresh tattoo; swollen and bumpy.
“How did this happen?” I wondered aloud.
“How did what happen?” Naomi came out drying her hair.
I had jumped at the sound of her voice. I looked at her, then back at my wrist. “Come look at this.” I pulled my watch off, “I don’t know where this could’ve come from.”
Naomi walked over to where I sat on the bed and looked at the formation on my wrist. “That’s a cute tat. When did you get it?”
“Tat?” I said dumbfounded.
“Yeah, my girl back in Orlando got one of those white outlined tattoos too. They’re neat.”
I ran my fingers over the lines again. A tattoo that appeared out of nowhere? I reached up and fiddled with the pendant I was wearing; my grandmother’s pendant. I gave Naomi a suspicious look.
“It came out of nowhere. It just appeared. Do you think it came from my watch?”
“It couldn’t have come from out of thin air.” She picked up the watch I had, “Are you sure you didn’t just let loose too much one night and forget?”
I continued to look over the lines, shaking my head.
“Well, maybe you met your soulmate.” Naomi walked over to her suit case to pull out some gym clothes.
“Soulmate?” My face twisted in a scowl. “What on earth-.“
“You said that your necklace would give you a tattoo when you found your soulmate. Maybe you found him.”
I laughed and got up to find my own clothes, “I’m sure it’s just an odd shaped scar. The watch IS new. I’ll just go without it for a few days and see if it doesn’t heal.”
Naomi shrugged, “Whatever you say. Ready for omelets?”
—–
“I’m just so happy I could cry!” I bounced up and down in line. The omelet bar looked amazing! “I’m starving!”
“Did AJ ever text you last night?” Naomi asked.
“Yeah. I hope it was him. He told me ‘Sweet Dreams, darling.’”
“Nothing about breakfast?”
“No. Why?”
Naomi pointed over to table, “Because he’s sitting over there all by his lonesome.”
I glanced where she was pointed and saw AJ staring at the bracelet on his arm. He was knocking around the fruit in his bowl with a fork. My heart raced at the sight of him.
“What do I do?” I asked my friend.
Naomi smiled, “Go sit with him. I’ll go sit with John and Joe. We’ll catch up later.”
“What do I even say to hi-. “ But Naomi had already taken off. “Ugh.” I rolled my eyes.
I walked over to AJ’s table. Trying not to smile like an idiot, I sat my tray down. “Is this seat taken?” I asked.
AJ’s bangs brushed to the side of his head as he looked up at me. His blue eyes lit up and a smirk rolled across his face. “Well hello again, Sweet Pea.” He rested his head on his hand. “I think you could squeeze yourself over here.”
I slid myself into a chair, “Don’t mind if I do.” I took a sip of my orange juice. “What is the ‘Phenomenal One’ doing on this beautiful day in Portland?”
“Oh, you know, a little of this, a little of that.” He looked me up and down as he stabbed into a honeydew. “How ‘bout you, darlin’?”
“I don’t know. I think Naomi and I are going to hit the gym with her man and Joe. Then maybe some lunch. I guess maybe I’ll walk through some local shops.” I cut a bite of omelet and took a nibble off my fork. I watch AJ lick his lips as his eyes followed the path of my utensil.
“Maybe our day plans could meet up at some point.” His eyes met mine and then wandered down my body, “You know, somewhere around the middle?”
I stopped mid chew and flexed my jaw. It was all I could do to keep it from falling to the ground and letting my food fall out with it. I could feel a pool of wetness in my panties. He’s flirting with me.
I swallowed and tried a slick smile, “We might be able to work something out.” I hoping he’s buying this act.
“That’d be nice. I’d like to see more of you.” He took a bite of his honeydew, eyes never leaving mine.
My heart was pounding and my pulse was racing. “I’m sure you would.” I took another bite of my omelet. He’s out of your league and he’s older than you.
AJ looked down at my plate, “Is that normally how you like your eggs?”
I tilted my head, “Yeah, why? Don’t like omelets?”
AJ shrugged, “I just figured I’d take note on how you like your eggs cooked.”
“You’re extremely flirty this morning.” I giggled.
“I was thinking about you all night.” He gave me a wink. AJ picked up a strawberry by the end of his fork, “Portland has some amazing produce. Wanna bite?” He offered his forkful to me.
I glanced at him unsure, but leaned across the table. My mouth reached out and took as big of a bite as I could manage, allowing my lips to drag across the fruit. I never let my eyes leave AJ’s and he watched me in awe. I smiled at him as I pulled away.
“Yum.” I smirked.
He gave me a halfcocked grin and bit his lip, “Good girl.”
I felt a tingle run down my spine at the praise. “Thank you.” I chewed away, “So, maybe we should meet up after lunch? Go for a walk?”
He nodded, “Sure. You’ve got my number now, right?”
“Yes, sir.” I affirmed.
AJ’s eyes darkened again; just as they did the night before. His whole aura changed. It was like the heaviness in the air before the rain. There was lightning between us brewing. Just like when we shook hands, there was an electricity.
“(Y/N)!” I turned when I heard my name called. Naomi’s husband John was waving towards me, “We’re going out here soon. Are you still coming?”
I looked at AJ. His eyes were still a darker shade of blue and focused on me. “Is that okay?” I asked him.
He closed his eyes and shook himself back to reality. “You’re asking me for permission?” A look of almost disbelief mixed with amusement crossed his face.
I bit my lip, “I might be.” Then let out a giggle as he raised his eyebrow. “But you’ll never know if I’ll actually obey or not.” I picked up my empty plate and cup and began to walk off. “I’ll text you?” I winked.
“Yes.” AJ grinned. “You will.”
I smiled as I walked away, the pain on my wrist shot up my arm.
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junkdrawernoggin · 4 years
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memories from when I was younger:
(please note, my dad and I get a long great now, but we both had severe mental health problems we were battling. Did not lead to a great relationship when I was little. My mom, sister and I barely talk. Live in seperate states now)
I couldn't read until about 2nd grade. I had been in speech therapy since I was in Kindergarten and I was already pretty well viewed by my family as the social kid who was a fucking dunce.
My older sister started reading very early on, and could read anything that took me days to read in about an hour. She did it pretty often to show off. I looked up to her like she was the greatest thing on God's green earth. She has autism, but she was a cute kid, great friend to have, and pretty popular. She didn't let anything stop her. My dad even started to believe that autism was the next evolution of humans simply based on how smart JoJo was for her age.
Meanwhile, I could barely read. Now, that was because everytime I tried to read my mom would laugh at me. Yup, she would laugh, and laugh, and then I would cry and give up. Because Everytime I messed up I went back to the start to try again. She thought that was very funny. I didn't do my homework because I didn't understand math. I basically did work for art, music and nothing else.
Well, eventually my Dad took Jo. As in, my sister had really bad anger management problems, and my mom couldn't really manage her anymore. He was married to my Stepmom at this point, and Jo seemed to do a lot better with them. Grades soared, reading got faster, teachers adored her, made some of the best friends she'd ever had, that sort of thing.
That was in 2nd grade for me
That was the year my dad shoved a paper upside down in front of me, and asked me to read it. I didn't understand what he was doing. He said "Well, maybe the reason you can't read, is because you're trying to read through the paper!" God, that was humiliating. My own dad thought that I was so fucking stupid, that I didn't even know what side of the paper I was supposed to read.
Then came the reading classes. My grade was dropping, and I hated all of my teachers. I became difficult to work with. I was so angry at everything in the world. Angry that my sister was perfect. Angry that my dad has swooped in and saved my sister, but didn't try to save me. Angry that my mom was never home, and when she was all she did was sleep and scream. Angry that I was this horrible monster that everyone gave up on, and I couldn't stop it.
Then came the first panic attack. Sitting with my friends at girl scouts, trying to sell cookies. My heart hurt so bad I thought I was dying. I hid behind a stack of sodas and hyperventilated. Nobody came to check on me. I had to walk to my Grandma and tell her I couldn't breathe.
And so I started therapy. I fucking hated her. She would tell me that I should try going out and doing stuff with my mom! Sureeee that'll work when she doesn't see me on weekends and pays attention to my sister when we do have weekends together. Sure. I'll be able to convince my mom I'm worth her time. AT EIGHT YEARS OLD. Yup, reasonable hopes to set for an 8 year old.
So, then came 4th grade. Got kicked out of class once a day. Hated everyone around me. I had two very good friends, that both came from these great sweet families. And I was so angry I just let it loose at them. Picked up a bully that year, Alana. Nobody ever did anything to help me. She screamed at me, hit me, threw me against the wall, was genuinely an awful human being. That. THAT is when my counselor had enough. I told me mom I was moving in with my dad that day after her birthday, and she just fuckin sobbed.
Moved in with my dad. He gave me another shot. And suddenly, I was a glory child. They checked and I had a college reading level. My dad made us read for an hour every night, and I would stay up till 11, or sometimes 12 (scandalous I know) reading, reading, reading. I read young adult books as thick as my fist. I read non fiction, fiction, biographies, everything. I was top of my class, I was a great singer, I made friends pretty quick on (had major trust issues tho, but hey, the effort was there). I was going to prove everyone wrong. Prove that I was worth something. Prove that I wasn't just going to be the amazing Jo's sister when I grew up. Still was always in her shadow though.
That is, until the first attempt (warning: suicide)
Now, at this point I was seeing a new counselor, I had been diagnosed with Social Anxiety, Generalized Anxiety, and Depression. But, I was pushing my way through every day. Jo however, was not. She started becoming the poster child for females with Autism for where we are from (an area known for work on autism, and a hub of autism speaks) my mom had her trial all kinda of meds, my dad had gone to all this different autism speaks stuff with her (didn't know what they were about) and my sister sort of became consumed by her illness.
She went to school in 7th grade, and walked out at lunch with my parents on the way to the child psych ward. She came in and told her favorite counselor that the voices were telling her to hurt people, so she was going to kill herself to make them shut up.
I didn't know until I came home and noticed both of my parents were there. Piles, and, piles and piles of notebooks that she had his were stacked all over the couch. Each carefully combed through looking for evidence, for a warning sign, for something we missed. I remember that my cousin and grandmother (stepmom's side) came over, while I ate an entire pizza by myself and cried.
Everything changed after that
She swore, cussed, fought, screamed. She became a menace. She hit my stepmom especially, hated my stepmom with everything she had. She hurt my mom too. Only person she wouldn't touch is my dad (my sister just really doesn't like girls to be honest). She beat the shit out of me all the time. We would play, and then she'd hit too hard, punch too hard, throw something at me. It was awful. But I was hush about it.
Fast forward to attempt #2.
She had been grounded consecutively for probably 6 months at this point, minor breaks in between. She was pretty terrible. She scared the shit out of me, and constantly started fights with my stepmom. We ended up calling the police when she punched my stepmom in the face. Scariest months of my life honestly.
The next day, I gave her my iPad. She was pretty much addicted to technology. I gave her my iPad so that she could have some fun for the day, and we could all chill out. I made dinner, and my dad was out of town on business (good time to mention that we had recently moved 1400 miles away. Both of us consented too it, I wanted to move really badly). I remember thinking that I did a really great job at dinner, and Jo and I had a really good conversation. My roommate was home with us too. She didn't eat much, which I thought was weird. And then she went upstairs and went to take a dump.
My stepmom got home, and she was wondering where Jo was. I thought it was weird too, because she'd been gone for awhile and left her food. I went upstairs to go get her because my stepmom wanted to talk.
The screen was missing.
The window was open and the screen was missing.
I checked everywhere, I was yelling, hysterical. I assumed she had run away. She'd tried to a couple times before, and I thought she finally did it. I came downstairs
"Jo's gone"
"what do you mean Jo's gone?"
"Jo's gone! I can't find her! The screen was pulled out, and I can't find her!"
My stepmom thought that maybe Jo was hiding. We checked EVERYWHERE. We made sure the bikes were still there, we made sure everything was where it was supposed to be. She left her shoes and wallet, so we were really confused.
My stepmom and roommate both got in their cars are started going up and down our main Street and community. No luck.
My roommate decided to check outside. Maybe she was waiting till we were asleep to run?
"Found her!" He was yelling.
My stepmom was on the phone with my dad. We had to try and get her inside, she refused to use her legs. She still has the scar from getting dragged up the steps and falling on one.
We sat her on the couch and she couldn't really talk, I thought she was in shock (didn't know you had to loose blood for that, forgive lil me)
I got her to write down what meds she had taken. My roommate called the paramedics because we thought they were gonna have to pump her stomach.
She had taken an entire discount (bigger size) bottle of melatonin. She had also taken my stepmom's hardcore pain meds from her recent surgery.
My dad was sobbing on the phone. Only time I have ever heard him cry. It was already late and he was a 6 hour drive away, but he still drove back that night. They took my sister out on a stretcher while my stepmom screamed at her. I was crying.
To be clear: we all know that she did not mean to kill herself. I looked on my iPad and it specifically said "how do you jump from a window without killing yourself". She even admitted to it later on. She did a drop hang from a 2 story floor to ceiling window and she's about 5'1. My sister is smart enough to know that it could not possibly kill her.
Guess there will be a part 2. This isn't really for anyone but me. I just need to get some things out that nobody has ever heard.
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linktc5465 · 5 years
Text
First Post...What to say.
Sitting her Alone in an Apartment can get someone thinking.
Hi, My Name is as it is above. well, nickname actually. i’m based in tucson so things that are relatively random is to give a sort of idea.
I’m Not from Tucson Originally, i moved here from Oakley, California when i was 12 in 19...(Does Math...33-12=21 2019-21=1998) god i hope i got that math right. never was good at math. never was good at anything really... I was raised LDS and had a Mixed Religion household. Moms beliefs were whatever her husband/boyfriend believed unless they believed in the same faith as her, sister still a loyal member. my sisters are either Agnostic, Non-Denominational Christian and Pagan. me i am...I know there’s something out there. just unsure what. i have no Social or Religious beliefs. I believe though that if you need Religion to See yourself as a better person you’re not even worth the dust you stand on and if you would rather use politics to force people to believe what you do you are nothing more than a glorified bully.
i didn’t get out much. however when i was told someone was not to be associated with i was right there associating with them. and while the associated party was just as much trouble as i was told. so i focused on Games, Comics, Movies and i felt at peace. i started Writing Corny little stories, FanFictions, had a few eye-openers when it came down to my personal beliefs.
...Okay honestly i feel like... like i don’t belong here. i mean...I’m Straight. I’m not going to Lie, sometimes, Tumblr is seen as the “Gay Blog Spot“. I don’t find that many things offensive but “The Gay Blogspot?“ Really? Couldn’t think of a better Comparison like “Grab your Fandoms and Join us?“ Like “a Better Melting Pot“ where you won’t be booted out cause you won’t “Assimulate“ to decent Morals? Like Not being a Dick for instance?
No i don’t get offended easily. Probably shouldn’t more but Damn things do piss me off;
When i Was younger i was into All this stuff. I was into Pokemon, Comic books, Hell i knew about the Green Lantern and the Flash before they were on Justice League (Cartoon.) those were my Fandoms. i was picked on because of it.
Sometimes i envy everyone. i envy the Kids today were the Schools can or are taking a Stance against it. where parents are telling their kids “Stop taking shit“ and yet when i was younger it was Teacher: “are you being bullied?”
Me: “Yes.“
Teacher: “are you bullying them?“
Bully: “No.“
Teacher: “you’re both dismissed.“
and he would stay out trouble, Rinse. Repeat.
Dating wasn’t even that Easy for me. my first kiss came along and i was out of The Church and started to believe what i wanted to, Went to the same school she did, and ended up staying all because i didn’t want to go back to school with my sister and deal with the system they had of...basically, Intellects are Separated amoungst each other. (and the school is seen as one of the best charter schools here. huh, go fig.). but i’d get bounced around by the same girl throughout the years, Lied to, played or one who even decided to treat me like i was just something she can have. so my emotions are all freaked out because of that. but... i dunno. the more i felt the deeper i went into my depression and my own hobbies. even now, at 33 with my girlfriend i find myself only saying how i feel when i’m not really wanting to game or even write. yet i can find myself talking to some, Random Stranger who asks me “How are you doing?“. i don’t think it’s hatred, but a lack of Trust.
I trusted My mother, she tried getting me on social security and when i was denied, she lost interest. started looking towards my sisters more and more. leaving me in the dust. Dad treats me how Red Foreman treats eric. i’m not a father but i’m pretty sure that’s not how you treat your kids regardless on WHAT side you’re on. The Last Woman i truly loved ended up Cheating and leaving, only to return MARRIED and knowing i shouldn’t said “what the hell.“. My Girlfriends Mother treated me like her son only to force her to get the law involved into some BS charge. Remember what i said about Depression and me diving Deeper into my hobbies or Fandoms? Yeah. always question why i’m alone yet question why i push people away. why i prefer being alone and yet i have a Girlfriend.
a part of me wonders...if i wasn’t treated this way, if we got the better help needed like we had today would i still be like this? Answer would probably be Yes.
I Don’t like thinking about these things though. Things are different Now. AS a Result my Mom (You remember her, the Woman who Believes whatever her Relationship believes) is someone i no longer talk to. My girlfriend of (Pretty much) 6 years ended up leaving again. i am Working now so i’m no longer relying on wishing i had SSI. I have a place of my own that i hardly ever visit. and i drink more coffee than i should.
but am i Better? No. i mean, My girlfriend got some CBD edibles a while back nd i tried one and thought they would help.
NOPE!
fact they didn’t kick in at all. but they probably didn’t effect me. probably because there’s more Coffee in my system to even make one Leroy Jethro Gibbs go “you’ve had enough.“
hmph...NCIS. you know i watch shows like THAT mainly cause i find them entertaining? how is it i’m not political, and yet, i watch shows like the simpsons, where it got SO political, everytime a new headline comes up, the Simpsons are covering it the Season. Guess its because I find shows like NCIS entertaining. I prefer listening to Old Style Country and Rock. i have my coffee black and believe that a Persons Religious beliefs shouldn’t be forced on others. and that’s pretty much it...Really? Guess i’m just a Little old fashioned. and tired, and a little Ornry. using terms that no one else uses.
god i feel old...pretty much am. 33 years old. 33. 33 years old and a woman who is in her 50′s looks hotter than most of the women either 5 years younger than me or 10 years older than me. you millenials, remember when we were younger and our grandparents would come down Grandma made cookies and dinner despite your parents wishes and your grandpa would help your dad on the car to get away from your mom and Grandma because they started fighting? only to find out there was nothing really wrong with the car to begin with. yeah. now it’s like some guy could cheat on his girlfriend with her grandma, or even her grandpa. Damn seniors look good these days and yet i look in the mirror and i look ugly as all get out :/
And there we go...I’ve always felt Looks don’t really matter. you could be the most handsome or beautiful woman in your group and still be ugly on the inside. or the least bit attractive and still be gentle. or in reverse.
i dunno...
Depression, Social Anxiety, Self-Doubt and a lack of trust for everyone with a hint of personal beliefs make the cluster fuck that is...Me.
people tell me “Show some respect.“ Dude, Respect is Earned. Doesn’t matter of your race, gender identity, sexual orientation, religion or political beliefs we all earn respect the same way and we keep the respect. yeah there’s the given respect but treating people like crap won’t make you gain there respect nor will it earn you theres.
This is the crap i believe :/ and i gotta wonder sometimes if it’s even WORTH believing.
Now, i’m looking around and it’s...i dunno.
Feminsm feels more like attacking men just because their men while the real feminist wanna go “Nuh-uh.“
Bullying is now being dealt with Accordingly
Pokemon go is being liked by everyone.
being a part of a Fandom is now cool but there’s still the Toxic fans who want to ruin it for everyone.
Body positivity is either picking up or Dying out.
Which brings me to This...Why is it that to some women are aren’t attractive by some peoples point of views or societies view looks at others like they’re the uglist thing on the planet. and we Keep Bringing people down. I was heading back to my girlfriends from Work about 3 weeks ago or so, i was walking behind this woman who, okay was attractive by someones standpoints and i was on the phone with my girlfriend, i told her (my girlfriend) “Love you“ and waited for her response where i than proceded to hang up. this woman, looks behind her, to me, and starts walking faster to where she acts as though I’m being creepy and i was gonna do something to her.
1.) she wasn’t my type and
2.) if i were there were cops up at the cross sections (Night time)
and 3. i’m too damn tired to do a damn thing. yet if i thought she was creepy it’d be an entirely different thing.
Why is it we want to be kinder to everyone and yet there are still people who have to Knock a random stranger, who was ONE THE PHONE with his girlfriend and wanted to get home safe and secure, Down.
Can i Just Ask, simple and Calmly What have we Become? has many peoples Charges affected us as people to where we can’t even hold doors open to be nice, ESPECIALLY in Tucson where it’s sweating in places you didn’t even know you had sweat glands in, and be seen as anti woman all because you think to yourself “hey, this person could use help and i don’t want them to drop the presents, let the baloons go flying and Maybe Drop the Cake“. or in the case of that eone going up behind her while they were on the phone and actually say “I love you” to the person they chose to spend the rest of their life with?
Okay, Yeah, i get it. we gotta be vigilant now. maybe more than ever but REALLY?
i feel like i was born in the wrong year. feel like i grew up in the wrong time. both sides really. like i could have gotten the help i needed when i was younger but listen to the old music.
I don’t really know what to feel :/ so if you don’t mind...i’m gonna go back to playing Minecraft.
Thanks for Reading... it means a lot.
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passportrequired · 5 years
Text
A Valentine Cheer in Europe
I decided on a solo Europe trip because I wanted to do what I CAN’T call Eat Pray Love BECAUSE I still have yet to watch this movie. However, after the senseless murder of my niece on Valentine’s Day a couple years prior and my mom’s lost to a battle with cancer a year after, I figured V-Day needed some coloring.
I decided on a flight to Istanbul that would transfer to Milan and then EasyJet from Milan to Paris and then to Barcelona and back to Milan and jump back on Turkish airlines to Istanbul and finally home to Dulles.
When I told my family I was heading to Europe alone, they asked if I didn’t see the movie Taken. I told them no one is taking a big boned black girl. What I was really saying is no one will stop me from traveling solo in search of a valentine cheer.
My niece was stabbed over 20 times. The guy got 60 to life. But how do I look at Valentine’s Day the same? My mom cried. The next year she died. She chose not to do the 50 to 50 chance surgery. I wrestled with that. Why did she choose to die and not to fight? But I realized now she wanted to go on HER terms. Death is something that the living has to deal with. We are left to grieve and miss and yearn.
My trip was to live like they had not. Do things that they couldn’t…
I arrived in Istanbul on a six-hour layover. When I touched down on the tarmac, I remember thinking it looks just like the hallmark card my friend had given me for my birthday in January. I started my EAT’ing. Opened faced smoked salmon sandwich with eggs sunny side up. Delectable for airport food. I pictured my niece Tiana and my mom Valeria sitting across from me. Enjoying. Complaining about the runny eggs. Laughing and ready to explore our first leg of the trip.
The Coconut Curry Chicken (or Shrimp). INGREDIENTS: Organic Chicken from Whole Foods or bag of shrimp from Trader Joes. Trio pepper, red onions, scallion, thyme, habanero skin, garlic, turmeric, paprika, ground cayenne (optional, but good for spicing up your life), black pepper, sea salt (or salt), Basil (fresh or dry), one canned Trader Joe’s organic coconut milk, olive oil, one small sweet potato or Irish (russet) potato. Add olive oil to pan with fresh and dry seasonings. Stir on high heat and add canned coconut milk. Add peeled and cut (tiny pieces) of potato to pot. Let it boil on medium for 30-45 minutes until desired taste. If using shrimp, add shrimp at end and let cook for 15-30 mins until desired taste of shrimp and sauce. If using chicken, add chicken to beginning prior to adding coconut milk. Once cooked, enjoy over bed of Whole Foods basmati or Trader Joe’s jasmine rice OR with some fresh naan.
The Rice. INGREDIENTS: Basmati white or brown rice OR jasmine white or brown rice. Irish / Icelandic butter or olive oil. Sea Salt. Place rice in pot with one-inch water above rice level (use finger tips to judge), stir in salt and butter or olive oil. Cover rice and let come to a boil on high fire setting. As soon as it boils over, turn fire on lowest setting and let sit for 30 minutes then turn stove off.
My mom probably made curry differently. But I added my twist. Let the EAT’ing begin.
ENJOY.
I people watched in that Istanbul airport until I cracked myself up. A couple smooching, others rushing. I wonder where they are heading. Maybe they are off to someplace romantic. To celebrate. An engagement or an anniversary or maybe it’s new love or young love. Perhaps the Maldives or Fiji. I made up stories about strangers and laughed with my mom and Tiana until it was my turn to head someplace. Milan in particular.
Industrial and not what I expected. I used to read my sister’s romance magazines. Soap opera in a book. Lancio published them. Those cute Italian boys were in Milan. I figured I would find cheer there. But instead I found the Duomo. When I walked inside, a feeling came over me. Like God had reached out and grabbed my soul, telling me it’s okay. I know you lost your sister, Brenda years earlier to a routine knee surgery. I know Kenneth, Nicole and Dwight are gone too and I know you lost mama (grandma) and Lattie and more recently, your sister, Luna, niece Tiana and mommy, Valeria. But I’m here now. It was either that or a memory of a Catholic Church in Morant Bay, Jamaica. Either way, something inside the Duomo moved me. I felt it and I sat on the church bench, PRAYed and made the sign of the cross against my chest. A sign you couldn’t forget even if you left the church behind.
I could hear Ave Maria in my head. Maria Ferrante singing by Franz Shubert. I have it on my playlist. “Ave maria, äiti maan lapsien, taas meihin katsoo suojellen, kun poika syntymäpäivä on…” I sat in the church and quietly recited, “Hail Mary full of Grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed are thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus. Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.” I used to hear my dad praying this prayer often. How many Hail Marys do you need to cleanse your soul of its sins? I didn’t want to imagine the sins of my father.
I walked out of the Duomo and took a long trek back to my hotel room. Quietly. I felt my mom and Tiana on the walk back. It wasn’t creepy. It was all LOVE.
Prior to the Duomo I took some photos of the church from the Museo Del Novecento. Museums give me a sense of peace. Perhaps because it’s a quiet observance. No need to discuss in the moment. Just observe and soak it in.
I felt snow on me and knew something was brewing. Later, I was stuck at the airport. EasyJet put us up near the airport with food vouchers and free hotel. I almost got rerouted to Germany. I didn’t take it. I stayed in Milan. Stuck in the hotel room and eating breakfast, lunch and dinner with complete strangers. I had to walk a scary dark walk for dinner. I chatted with some of the strangers so I didn’t have to walk the dinner walk alone. No dinner was served in my hotel. When I couldn’t find a stranger, I said a few Hail Marys and walked the walk to have decent Italian food and frizzante. Every time I tried to have a croissant it was filled with something. I don’t like fillings, but Europeans do. I do; however, like cappuccinos and I had good coffee there. I decided to write and think while waiting for the snow to clear. Two days later I ended up at Charles de Gaulle and got to my hotel a few minutes before midnight. My flight for Barcelona was leaving the next morning.
I arrived at the Le Meridien bummed that I wouldn’t see Paris. But my friend, Jessica from Scotland had been there waiting for me. She had already gotten a chance to see it and decided to give me the midnight tour. I tucked mommy and Tiana away and me and Jessica walked the streets. On our walk I saw a prostitute on the side of the street down on her knees with a client. Paris is gangsta. I watched the Eiffel tower’s lights go dim and I took pictures at the Arc de Triomphe.
I wanted to be up close and personal but not on this trip. The chef opened the kitchen to serve me creme brûlée. I talked with Jess and ate the best creme brûlée I’d ever tasted. If only I had gotten to go out and about, I’m sure there’s better crème brûlée in a small Parisian bakery. We decided to forego sleep. I hadn’t seen Jessica in years. It was good to see her and touch her and talk with her. We had so much to talk about. We didn’t let the sleep in our eyes stop us. We talked and talked and talked and talked. I grabbed a quick breakfast and hugged Jess goodbye. I was going back to solo’ing in Barcelona.
No plane issues this time. I waited for my flight and met two Parisian girls who thought it was cool I was on a solo trip and from America. We chatted and laughed and swapped stories. I thought Parisians were snobby. Not these two. Friendly and sweet. We took pictures and said a proper goodbye.
I arrived in Barcelona and in LOVE. I couldn’t stop staring out the window of my transport on the way to the hotel. Another Le Meridien hotel. Thanks to my sister Colleen’s discounts. I was on a budget in a fantastic Starwood hotel. It was in the midst of La Rambla. I didn’t waste a minute in Barcelona. I took to the streets and spoke as much Spanish as I could remember. I ate a burger and fries and drank local beer in a small friendly bar. After beer two I packed up and went to an art museum where the guard asked for my hand in marriage. I laughed and continued my quiet observance of the Barcelona Museum of Contemporary Art.
That night I watched a Spanish jazz singer over dinner. I had a chance to meet and chat with her. She flirted and I blushed. I told her I’m straight and kissed her on the cheek. My valentine cheer was coming in little packages. I imagined Tiana in full Spanish mode. Her mom, Kathy is Puerto Rican. She was enjoying Barcelona. Swinging her hips and trying to teach me salsa and mommy laughing. When she was younger her favorite thing from grandma was Jamaican fried dumplings. My mom made it so good. I wasn’t yet there in America. But when I came, she was older. I met her and she still wanted fried dumplings from grandma. Had there been fried dumplings in Barcelona I would have had some just for her.
My best friend Misha loves this soup. She had been asking for the recipe for years. I told her I didn’t know how to write recipes. But this one, you can EAT with LOVE. Just don’t forget to PRAY before you eat. Wait don’t we drink soup. Yeah, but don’t mess with my EAT, PRAY, LOVE vibe. I think that was Tiana correcting me. I’m sure it was actually.
One canned coconut milk. More coconut milk. It reminds me of the million ways my mom used coconut. Curry Rundown: made from freshly grated and squeezed coconut juice (milk). Rendered down to base of almost oil with Saltfish inside (boiled and strained of all salt). Serve with fried or boiled dumplings. Coconut Cake: made from the coconut trash (grated) with sugar and fit for a dessert. OR coconut diced into tiny pieces, again with sugar. Another dessert, same name. Wait that’s not the soup.
Soup With No Name: INGREDIENTS: one canned Organic Trader Joe’s coconut milk. If you have time on your hands, go to the Asian market, buy a coconut, grate, squeeze and make fresh coconut milk. Sweet potatoes, bok Choy, spinach, white beans, Grace Cock Soup packet (best to put it in at the end, not sure why, this is just what Jamaicans do. Cho, stop yuh noise mek mi cook nuh). Trio pepper, red onions, scallion, thyme, habanero skin (the seeds are too hot), garlic, turmeric, paprika, cayenne (NOT optional, spice up your life), black pepper, sea salt (or salt), Basil (fresh or dry). Add water to a big pot and coconut milk and all dry seasonings. Go light on turmeric. It’s just cause I love the yellow color for this soup. Add scallion, garlic, onion and thyme along with trio pepper and habanero. Boil for 30-45 minutes. Add chopped bok choy, whole spinach (nuh chop it up mahn) and sweet potatoes (cut up in cubes). Add seafood mix and Grace Cock Soup. If using chicken add in the beginning with coconut milk. Taste. Add sea salt if additional is needed. Serve hot. PRAY.
ENJOY.
There was an ice cream truck outside the hotel. I had Nutella and vanilla swirl and chatted with the ice-cream guy. I can’t remember his name. He was sweet. Super nice and the ice-cream was great. Europe loves Nutella.
The next day I spotted a robbery as I was about to jump on the metro. I stood and watched. Three men with sheets over their shoulders running. Filled with clothes from a nearby department store. The cops showed up and jumped out the car and ran after them. Why oh why didn’t they drive after them? They didn’t catch them. Barcelona is also gangsta. My sister Michelle would worry if I told her about the gangsta shit. She was the one who asked me if I didn’t watch Taken. I bought little gifts from different places. I was on some street I can’t remember. I wondered if anyone noticed I was alone or could they see mommy and Tiana?
I arrived in Milan on my last leg. I had taken risks and seen things that made me realize solo travel is better. You get to notice every stranger. You meet people from all over and you really connect without distractions. I wrote, I thought, I laughed, I cried and I imagined I had my eat, pray, love moments. I still have to watch that movie.
On my way back to the airport I decided to ride the train from Milan. I lugged my heavy ass suitcase and got confused about which train to take and how to buy my ticket when a stranger rescued me. Though I didn’t need rescuing, this man was seeing me as a damsel in distress. His name eludes me, but he was from Georgia. No not Georgia USofA but the country. He showed me how to buy my ticket, lugged my suitcase on the train and sat next to me. Maybe for protection. He shared stories of his childhood in Georgia. And I equally of Jamaica. We laughed and talked and parted ways in Malpensa. I felt a little guilt that I forgot about mommy and Tiana.
I made my way to Istanbul and then touched down on the tarmac in Dulles. As I rode the transport back to Rockville, I couldn’t stop thinking about my trip. All the details, the quiet moments, the conversations. But mainly I felt I got just what I went looking for. I see now that today – on V-day, there’s more to remember. Not the tragedy of loss, but great memories and positive light. Not the blackness the man doing 60 years to life tried to give us. But the light that was left behind to shine.
“Alvin, I know today is a tough day but Tiana was very brave even though she knew she wouldn’t make it, she made sure the Devil got caught… so Live, Love and Laugh on her memories. Happy Tiana Notice Day.” – Colleen Burgher.
“To my family, each and every Valentine’s day my heart is torn apart. However, I have to come to the fact that life must go on and Tiana’s memories will forever live on. With that said, tonight at 9:42 pm please stop what you are doing and give a moment of silence to Tiana Angelique Notice. Tiana’s work will never be done, may her soul R.I.P.” – Alvin Notice (father of Tiana and my brother).
“A moment of silence for our dear Tiana. Love always. ♥” – Marceen A. Burgher
para mi madre y mi querida sobrina dulce – from Barcelona with love.
per mia madre e mia cara dolce nipote – from Milan with love.
pour ma mère et ma chère douce nièce – from Paris with love.
annem ve sevgili yeğenim için – from Istanbul with love.
…for my mother and my dear sweet niece – from Dulles with love.
–          Marceen A. Burgher
A Valentine Cheer in Europe was originally published on Passport Required
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gaiatheorist · 6 years
Text
Daddy Issues.
The idea here was to write about ‘something else’, to clear my tangled mind of all of the hugely impactive peripheral issues floating in my atmosphere right now. It’s not going to work, and no quantity of “That is in the past.” or “I broke that cycle.” can blase-away the fact that a deeply dysfunctional development skewed my life into what it is now.
They and them, and this and that caused me to develop into what I am, an unemployed, 41 year old she-ish thing sitting typing into a knackered old Chromebook, with loads of keys missing, mainly on the left side, so I have to keep correcting typos, where I think I’ve hit the key with my dead hand, and it turns out I haven’t. That’s a literal observation, but also a fitting metaphor, a damaged person, using an unfit for purpose tool, to the best of their limited ability, in a tenacious-draining attempt to just keep functioning.
It’s not the ponies, and the foreign holidays, and the ‘stuff’, of course there’s a niggle that my eldest half-sister was given a house, and my younger one is undertaking her second degree at Oxford, interspersed with exotic holidays, when I’ve never even held a passport. I chose this path, I willingly elected to remove myself from their lives, I can’t resent them their indulgences, because I was the one who opted out of those spheres.  
There was no real drama to me ‘running away from home’ at the age of 18, no screaming rows and flouncing out, I’d been spending increasingly longer periods of time at the boyfriend’s house, one night in October 1995, I just didn’t ever go back home. He’d given me a Yale key, and told me the combination of outside-lights-on that mean his ex-girlfriend was there, and I ought to walk another lap around the block until she was gone. That’s a weird thing to remember, that if the outside light was left on, his ex was there to walk the dogs, and I was to stay out of sight, like dirty laundry. I was his rebound from her, they’d separated, after 11 years, in the July or August, I met him in the August, and I’d fully moved in by the October. For a few months, I was a shadow-thing, second-best, in hindsight, he might have held out hopes for a reconciliation with his ex, familiar ground and such, he always did prefer the easy option. I’m not easy.     
It wasn’t as ‘planned’ as the time I was going to leave sixth form, and take a job in a pharmacy in town, renting a room from a friend’s boyfriend. It wasn’t as dramatic as the time I was going to leave and live in my boyfriend’s grandma’s spare room, in the house where the gas and electric meters kept running out. My mother physically attacked me that time, screaming at me that I wasn’t taking THAT because she’d paid for it, dragging my clothes out of the bin-liners I was cramming them into, and tearing out a fair-sized chunk of my hair, when I just continued stuffing things back into bags. I needed to be out of there, for both of us, for all of us, we’ve since acknowledged that our respective ‘escapes’ from our fathers and families were more similar than either of us wanted to admit. We’re more different than we are similar, but, in a way, I also ‘jumped into bed with the first man that would have me.’ 
Her father was a monster. He was a paedophile, and he’s the grain of sand at the core of my oyster of not-telling, and not-asking-for-help. Why ask for help when there isn’t any, why change situations to protect others, when that takes away all of your own protection? I broke that cycle, I ‘saved’ my half sister and female cousins. Yes, I destroyed the family, but a family based on secrets and lies is worse than a fractured one. (Weird side-thought, I’m the only one of my siblings and cousins with a male child, I might have protected those girls, too, he’s dead, he died during his prison term, but his wife is still alive. If I hadn’t spoken out when I did there are at least five girl-children that might have been placed in his bed.) 
Her out-of-the-frying-pan was more obviously abusive. My father, not quite a monster, was violently unstable, and emotionally controlling. Bruises and scars fade in time, but the memories of emotional and psychological abuse are always there, temporal trip-wires, ready for the next trigger. My father, and her father, are the reasons I’ll never work in certain industries. Un-pretty-ing myself is a defensive mechanism, protecting me from some predators, and reducing the risk of being accused of being a try-hard slut, who will never be pretty, even under three inches of make-up. I’m content in combats and a ponytail, I don’t feel any need to paint myself pretty, but part of that links back to my father constantly berating and belittling any early attempts at femininity in me. I am clumsy, not graceful, and I’m never going to be a classic beauty, I accept these facts, but my non-binary, middle-ground ‘aesthetic’ rules out most customer-facing work. Cheers, Dad. 
Years of very hard work have enabled me to mostly disable my flinch-reflex. I’m one of the dead-behind-the-eyes types of abused children, rather than one of the hides-under-a-table types. My mother and father were both physically violent to my brother and I, so we learned the dead-response, our parents wanted the gratification of a reaction, and the two of us were already so emotionally messed up that denying the reaction was the only power-play we had. We would probably have had a lot less beatings and broken-things if we’d rolled over and showed our bellies, but we turned into resistant rock-children, unresponsive to the battering and berating, to frustrate our parents. Cheers, Dad, I can now stand face-to-face with violent and aggressive individuals, and keep my body language and tone of voice neutral. 
My father was unreliable, and unpredictable. When we still lived with him, there was no indication whether he would pick up his mandolin, and sing a nonsense-song with us, or backhand-slap us for no apparent reason. There were giddy-good times, but they were always tinged with the trepidation that we might do something bad, and set him off into a rage. We were never the reason for his rage, he was just mentally unstable, but that existence, coupled with the Catholic upbringing, caused behavioural shifts in my brother and I. He’s more ‘outward’, more hedonistic, more careless, he is more settled now, but for quite a long time, he lived a what’s-the-worst-that-can-happen sort of life, dangerous behaviours and risk-taking. I’m the other end of the spectrum, everything I ever do has to be risk-assessed to the nth degree, I’m incredibly self-limiting, and that probably has impacted on my mental health. (Piss off, well-meaning articles about the importance of an active social life, my Daddy Issues have really screwed up all of my human interaction.) 
Not wanting to ‘set off’ my father, and being hip-deep in the slurry of Catholic guilt complexes, I became a timid, invisible thing, so worried about being ‘caught’ and punished, constantly on-edge. That constant, all-encompassing paranoia tips your ‘normal’ anxiety response, being on-guard all the time for what other people might do to you doesn’t leave much energy spare for ‘yourself’. I never really built a sense of identity as a child, my adolescence was spent raising my half-sister, because I’d had the temerity to do away with my mother’s free childminders, so there wasn’t much time for exploration and development. I frustrate people-trying-to-help, when they ask me what I ‘enjoy’ doing, what I do ‘for myself’, because I can’t answer. Outside of a very strictly limited range of activities, I don’t know what makes me ‘happy.’ (I’ve just looked at Facebook, my younger half-sister is in Thailand, I’m sure she knows what makes her happy.)  Thanks, Dad, for having so much ego of your own that I skipped that step entirely, and became a different kind of doormat to my mother. That malleable need-to-please suits some people, but it never really sat easily with me. The little girls who grow up being told how nice and pretty they are seem to continue to seek that affirmation as women, it was something I’d never had, so I’ve never ‘missed’ it as such. I know I’m not ‘ugly’ or ‘stupid’, or any of the other things he called me, but that ‘cutting off’ behaviour is hard-wired, I don’t seek meaningful bonds with people because they might turn out to treat me like he did, and I piss people off with my ‘get the first one in’ self-deprecation. (Bored of telling professionals “I’m being facetious.” when I mock my disability and such.) 
My mother left him. I don’t know how many attempts she had made previously, but there were a lot of blood-and-snot-and-dufflecoats-over-pyjamas midnight car trips to stay with friends of hers for a few days. Children normalise events, ‘most’ people would be traumatised by those escape-flights, I suppose we were, until they became our ‘normal.’  I was seven, and my brother five, when we started having to sit very quietly in the waiting room of the solicitors. We looked at houses, and there was very little said about Dad not moving with us. She moved back to the village where her parents lived, and, for a little while, we were a single-parent-family, with Dad not paying the maintenance money on time, and either turning up, or not, to take my brother and I to his house at weekends. When he did bother to turn up, there were arguments, there never seemed to be any food in at his house, and he’d just bugger off and do his own thing all weekend, leaving my brother and I in the house. He started to lock us in after someone complained about us running feral, and he started to unplug the phone from the wall when we’d phone our mother to say he’d locked us in again. The overnight access stopped, there were more rows about the maintenance money, and we ended up going to the ‘Education Office’ for school uniforms, coats, and shoes, you could tell the other children in similar predicaments, because there were only two kinds of coat available, the better-off kids used to yell “Edjo!” at us. The lesson I learned from that was that people, in general, are untrustworthy. So I don’t trust people. There is always food in my house when I have my son here, and most of it isn’t the horrible cheap-tasting freezer-shop rubbish my mother used to buy, for convenience, because she worked long shifts, and because she was a genuinely awful cook. 
The single-parent-family thing lasted a couple of years. Mum-got-a-boyfriend before Dad-met-a-lady, with hindsight, they both reverted to pattern, she found a violent alcoholic, and he latched onto a quiet mouse of a thing, who wouldn’t say shit if she had a mouth full of it. My brother and I didn’t like the new man, we were already both damaged enough not to want to ‘bond’ with this stranger in double-denim who had moved into ‘our’ space. Our ‘normal’ wasn’t his ‘normal’, we had been raised in chaos and squalor, he had been raised by a mother with very exacting standards of behaviour and housekeeping. From the familiar, disordered squalor of living with a mother who vacuumed the downstairs carpets once a week, and was so lax with the laundry that we grew out of anything at the bottom of the laundry basket before it was washed, to new rules. Stupid rules, like slippers indoors, and dishes put away as soon as they were washed and dried. Those rules made no sense to us, because we’d never known them. We didn’t like him, and then he started hitting our Mum. He battered her, we’d been there before, we’d phone the police, and chase him out of the house, and lock the doors. (Back then, the police wouldn’t ‘interfere with a domestic’, but if they had a drunk and disorderly causing a public disturbance outside, they had to do something, my brother and I were street-smart.)   
She didn’t learn, one of the many reasons I don’t really have a relationship with her. We, her children, would try to protect her, because she wouldn’t protect herself. She always took him back. 
He battered my mother, he attacked my brother more than once, but never laid a hand on me. I like to play fierce on that one, to pretend he sensed the fire in me, but I suspect he just knew how the police would view him assaulting a young girl/woman. 
I couldn’t live there, with that, I made sporadic attempts to get out before I eventually did, and inherited a new ‘father’, whilst creating another.  Too fast, too young, too much, “I want to give you babies” was a line from a Pulp song we’d puppy-love say to each other. His reaction when I showed him the pregnancy test was the reason I only ever bore one. (Fairly certain that a student who passed through the school I used to work in was his daughter, though. That’s a different story.) 
I gained a functional-patriarchal father-in-law. Christ, we’ve butted heads over the years, we’re both obtuse. I’m stronger, and faster, and taller, and leaner than all of his various daughters, step-daughters, and daughters-in-law, he didn’t understand me, he didn’t try to, he tried to feed me cake, to make me soft, and compliant. Not my style.  He had some very rigid ideas of what females should, and should not do, we ‘should’ work in shops, or be nurses, and wear nice blouses, we ‘should not’ be capable of independent thought, or ever challenge the authority of a superior testicularly endowed person. You can imagine how that worked out, along with the “Here, lass, you can’t lift that, I’ll get it!”, and such. That was his way, and he was set in it, there was no point in me trying to change him, but my son has seen me tense and clenched-of-jaw enough times to know what I object to. 
My son. I made a child, and, in doing so, made my ex into a father, apparently ahead of his schedule, but my reproductive system is very badly damaged, I didn’t know if I’d ever conceive and carry again, so I took that one chance. I’ve reflected back frequently, over the last couple of days, since Fathers Day, about how the ex ‘parented’ our son. He didn’t. That was ‘my’ job, because he’d been raised to think so. Aside from the biological fact that I breast-fed the tit-limpet for a year and a day, and that my body was slowly recovering from childbirth, I can’t see a biological distinction to validate the weird division of everything. (I’ll gloss over the fact that I had such massive post-natal depression that I was hallucinating, and shaved my head, but continued zombie-ing on, with a forced smile, because ‘at least he is not ginger!’)  The ex “couldn’t” change nappies, because the wipes, the bags, and the nappy-tapes were “meant for women’s hands.” Obviously, he couldn’t breast-feed, but he didn’t pick up the midnight-screaming ‘grub’ either, he never learned the subtle differences in ‘hungry’, ‘wet’, ‘soiled’, and ‘attention, please’ cries, they were all just an elbow in my ribs until I made them stop, with my weird woman-magic. 
He didn’t like to handle ‘the grub’, he said he felt that the baby was too small, too fragile, for his man-hands. I may as well have existed in the 1950s, where children were strapped to the woman until school-age. (There’s a ‘Dinosaurs’ aside, the boy didn’t call him ‘Dad’ for years, we were ‘Mum’, and ‘My Mum.’) He was a Saturday-Dad, except Saturdays were band-days, I worked on Sundays, so, after Sunday lunch at the in-laws, he’d take the small one to the park in town, where he said he “Felt like one of those Dads with weekend access.”, hmm, I wonder how you could change that? As the boy grew, nothing much changed, I was responsible for him, and the house, and the ex. The ex was ‘emotionally absent’, some computer game, some TV show, some band practice, he never taught the child to ride a bike, or lace a pair of boots, because he was always ‘busy’, or ‘tired’. I have taught the boy many, many things, but it hurt my heart a little to have to ask the ex to show him how to shave, that’s something I couldn’t teach him. 
I have had some incredibly bad examples of fathering, and I married a man who didn’t fancy getting involved with the process. Fathers Day is awkward for me, because I can’t join in on the love-fest. I have Daddy Issues. 
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