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#baghra comes immediately to take alina away
qqueenofhades · 1 year
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"the Twisted Soulmate Vibes are off the charts and i am only on ep 4" ohh just wait to reach the end of the season then. You would LOVE it. Specially cause we see Alina doing exactly what Aleks said she would do, not two minutes after the whole speech (and not two minutes after she swore she wouldn't, ever ever ever, do it. Ha, I think Aleksander piteous antics are contagious. I personally loved that)
LIKE. I've seen a few takes that seem to think major things like Alina literally wearing a sexy black dress when she takes off the black kefta and tells Aleksander that she won't ever wear his colors again are a mistake, or a random/stupid oversight by the writers, or something that isn't supported in the text, when once again I am begging Tumblr users to learn how television shows work for $500, Alex. The angry hatesex tension was off the CHARTS in that scene, and I have still not recovered from it! Even before we get into their dark Force bond/dream visitations/twisted-ass Hades and Persephone energy as Alina descends into doing exactly what Aleksander predicted, because he knows her and he's right about her! He's a dick and he's very far aboard the cuckoo-bananas train at the moment, but he's not wrong! And likewise, it's not an accident that Alina is literally becoming him in the name of undoing his mistakes, and just doubling down on everything he's tried to warn her about! This is all very deliberate!
One of the major reasons I was apprehensive about this season was if they were planning to just put Alina's comparatively weak character arc and the Malina hot mess on screen without attempting to challenge it, change it, or otherwise explore it more deeply. But they are doing all sorts of interesting things with it, they've already made major changes to Mal's character which means he's not a raging jealous dickhead all the time, and Jessie Mei Li's performance is phenomenal. Like, you instantly understand that she's going feral, she loves this new power too much, she's beginning to believe that she is in fact the Special Chosen One and can do what she wants, and she knows it's a bad thing and is clinging extra-hard to Mal and pretending wildly that he and a normal life is the only thing she wants, while it's obvious to everyone (including Mal) that this isn't true. Mal is actually likeable and realizing that there's this MASSIVE gulf between them while he's trying to save the girl he used to know while she's just miles and miles away from him, and it's GOOD! And this is coming from someone who was really dreading having to sit through Malina this season, if they were just going to play it straight and not acknowledge all the problems with it, and they didn't do that. So. Fair play.
Likewise, I'm not sure if this is because people think Alina should just have immediately apologized to Aleksander and admitted he's right about everything, because that was never going to happen (especially since Baghra nails it by pointing out that Aleksander had a chance to earn her love and not steal her power, but he blew it super hard complete buffoonery etc). Aleks is WAY too far gone to be rational, he's in his final downward spiral, and Alina is just starting hers. But like, we all bitched about the end of Ruin and Rising, and the showrunners really went "yeah, you're right" and threw it out with their whole pussy! I haven't gotten to the end of the season, but I've seen enough hints to be EXTREMELY Eyes Dot Emoji about it. They changed the whole thing, they did so in a way that emphasizes Aleksander and Alina's twisted, dark, desirous two-halves-of-the-same-coin, lovers/enemies/lovers/enemies Mobius strip, and it's just really GOOD. Way better and more innovative than I thought they were going to be, and not afraid to make major changes to the source material and even the main character, so like. Yeah.
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do you have more nikolina fake engagement AU? plz
Sure!
AU several years down the line where the stag was never tracked down (no Mal 💖) and so the Darkling never showed his hand. Established secret Darklina relationship. Meanwhile there’s an arranged Nikolina betrothal that everyone’s having complicated feelings about lol
Part one | Part two | Part three | AO3 link
***
Alina wakes alone the next morning. The twinge of disappointment is truly silly: he always leaves her. It would be stupid not to. The last thing either of them needed was a maid to walk in on the two of them.
She lingers in bed now, remembering the winter fete. That very first night when he’d come to her. He’d spent so much time simply undressing her carefully unwrapping her like a gift. Taking account of every inch of her skin, touching and tasting until she’d been nearly delirious. And then he’d pushed her to the bed and finished what he’d started in that dark side room at the fete.
He’d avoided her for days after. It had hurt tremendously at the time. But she knows his way now, how he’d inevitably feel the need to get even for the simple crime of making him want.
Alina dresses swiftly and makes certain that there aren’t any lingering signs of the Darkling’s presence in her room and then she heads down for breakfast.
She’s surprised to run into Genya in the hall. Genya gives her a little box for her name day. A pretty blue.
Alina opens it then and there, too curious to wait.
“It’s from the Fabrikators workshop,” she says. “Try it at the summoners pavilion, avoid anything flammable.”
It’s a silver ring. Genya explains that if she twists it a certain way while summoning its pale clear gem will hone her light into something that burns. It isn’t quite the Cut, but it’s close. It’s a curiously dangerous gift but it could be useful.
Alina’s training with Baghra has mostly stalled, a touchy subject. Everyone had thought she would be that much more powerful. So unfortunately she does need every trick she can get her hands on.
She thanks her awkwardly. And wishes she knew how to say more but Genya nods and walks past. murmuring something about having to get back to the Tsaritsa.
Alina doesn’t remember how exactly they drifted apart, just that they started speaking to each other less and less. Sometimes they run into each other in the Grand Palace, or in the worse occasions when they’re both trapped in the Tsaritsa’s parlor at length, but they only exchange tight-lipped smiles. Maybe a polite greeting.
She goes down to the domed hall and pours herself tea. Zoya finds her immediately. Despite their earlier— and current— animosity, Zoya has made it a point to befriend her. Or well pantomime friendship. It only took several months of making her life hell before she seemed to consider that Alina might become too important to be enemies with. Or perhaps the Darkling simply gave her an ultimatum, she isn’t sure. Either way they usually both plaster smiles on their faces when they meet and pretend to enjoy each other’s company through meals, through a slew of barbed comments back and forth. She’s gotten better at the verbal sparring recently, not much better in the combat ring though. Zoya still bests her there.
Nikolai intercepts them on the way out though, all smiles and shameless flattery. He kisses her hand, and twirls her around as if he hasn’t seen her for a week. He apologizes for stealing Alina away but unfortunately he simply can’t bear to part with her for too long.
“You’re laying it on a bit thick aren’t you?” she says once they are out of earshot.
“Oh and here I thought that was charm.”
And she cannot help a laugh.
He leads her out to the lake. It’s still fairly quiet at this time of the morning. She’s noticed that he can never be still for very long. When he wants to talk he would much rather do it as they walk.
She doesn’t mind either, she’s content to follow along. And so she also lets him lead on the idle chatter of “How are you?” and “My head frankly still hurts very badly from one too many glasses of brandy but nothing fresh air won’t solve’ until he finally asks, “Fine perhaps I’m a little impatient, but I’m very curious if you've come to a decision?”
Alina suppresses a smile. She likes him. She isn’t sure if that’s a good thing or if it simply makes it harder to make a clear headed decision. But she does like him.
She had wanted to accept. She had been going to accept before she saw the Darkling. And even he had told her to accept, explicitly, even if it was for his own purposes. So truly, what is stopping her now? Sentiment? The worry that she’ll be tangled up in whatever he’s scheming?
She makes a show of sizing Nikolai up. “I’m still considering,” she says.
“Oh? What are you considering, particularly? I like to think that I have many virtues.”
“That you seem to be impulsive, irreverent, and fickle.”
He puts a hand to his heart. “I’m wounded.”
Alina snorts. “You like to be liked, Nikolai Lantsov. And I wonder if you’re only so interested all of a sudden because it irks you that someone might be so indifferent to marrying you. Are you just going to change your mind after you’ve had the attention for a few months? ‘Oh actually we should have a falling out after all, what do you say, lovely?’”
“Well now I think I am actually wounded. I do not sound like that.”
She shrugs. “I’ll work on my impression. But you did ask me what I was considering.”
“So what I’m hearing is that you require proof of my undying devotion.”
She raises an eyebrow. “If you’re already offering undying devotion I would simply call you a liar. But more or less. I want to know that you’re serious.”
“How can I achieve that?”
She’s silent a moment, thinking.“For a start, what do you do when you pretend you’re studying at Ketterdam?”
He gives her a sidelong look. “Is this going straight to the Darkling?”
“I can keep a secret.”
“Frankly, I’m not particularly convinced but why not?” He grins. “I’m only in Os Alta for three more days. Wait until then and I can simply show you.”
“I don’t think you can just carry me off.”
He shrugs. It’s a careless gesture. “It won’t have to be long. I’ll make sure you’re back safe.”
“You’re not taking me all the way to Kerch are you?” she asks dubiously.
“You’ll simply have to see! Consider it an experiment of trust.”
Alina rolls her eyes. “Fine. I can wait three days.”
“Excellent.”
***
She drags her feet on it. But on the evening of the third day, when she can wait no longer, she finds the Darkling in his study, and she carefully informs him of their outing, omitting the part about Nikolai promising to reveal whatever he’s been up to. She had said she would keep that secret.
She stands while he contemplates, feeling somewhat like a child waiting to be reprimanded.
“That’s fine,” he finally tells her so flatly that she cannot read anything but displeasure into it.
“I don’t have to go,” she says quickly.
He drums his fingers over the desk. “No, this is good, I think.”
“Okay...” She swallows.
He rises from his chair, circling around to where she stands. He takes her chin in hand, his gaze intent on hers. “What are you doing exactly, Alina?”
Her mouth goes dry. “What?”
“You’ve been running around the palace like lovestruck children.”
She frowns. “I don’t understand if you want me to go through with this or not. You told me to accept, which I haven’t yet—”
His lip twitches. “Is he aware you haven’t accepted? He doesn’t seem to be.”
“Yes he is,” she grouses. “I’ve made it very clear. But that’s beside the point, I’m keeping him close, like you wanted. And maybe eventually I’ll accept.”
“What are you waiting for?”
She purses her lips, unsure of the answer herself. “I just want to be certain.”
“Don’t take too long. You don’t want to alienate him either.”
She shrugs. “I think he might like a chase, to be honest.”
“I see.”
He kisses her then, hard, still gripping her chin. Her lips part in surprise and he takes the advantage. Overwhelming her as always. Her knees feel weak when he lets go. When he dismisses her just as quickly.
As she walks out in a daze she realizes she should’ve refused that kiss. That she really cannot and should not carry on like this if her enhancement might be real. Guilt twists in her stomach.
She wishes she still talked to Genya.
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pikachuondrugs · 11 months
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Doom Upon The World
A/N: This is a series I’ve already started and posted here. Decided to bring it here as well, maybe it’ll break my writers block? Here to hoping! Eventually all chapters available there will be brought over here once re-edited. Would love to hear any thoughts, ideas, criticisms ya’ll have!
Pairing: Aleksander x Alina
What if Baghra’s motives for separating Aleksander and Alina were far more… sinister?
I’d had plans for the Sun Summoner for hundreds of years. How to control her, to use her against our enemies, and yet… It all seemed to disappear when she finally came into my life. Alina Starkov. My Sun Summoner. My equal. My other half. I'd never truly understood the concept of soulmates until her. I hadn’t realized how much of myself was missing until she had been quiet literally dragged into my life.
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Chapter 2: Balance
I will not let her have Alina. I will find a way to destroy her, if she tries to hurt Alina. No one will take Alina from me. No one. I’ve lost enough, I’ve given enough.
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"That's quite enough, Mother." Of course it was Baghra. Who else would dare to try to steal her away from me? Take what was meant to be mine, what should be mine? My Alina. My Solnishka. The only ray of light in the darkness of my life.
She looks frightened, whether it was of me, or of Baghra, I couldn’t tell. I can’t bring myself to look into her eyes, fearing what I’d find there, even as my shadows reach out for her impulsively. Fear? Revulsion? Perhaps hatred? Would she despise me now, knowing who I am and what I’ve done? Perhaps once it would not have mattered... but now...
I focused on Bagrha instead. My mother's expression was hard, uncaring. She swept away my shadows with a wave of her hand, making me grit my teeth. Useless. Still no match. I should have known she would betray me, shouldn't have allowed her to worm her way back into my life, with promises of training my charges. She had never meant well, never did anything for anyone but herself. I was foolish to think anything had changed.
"You do not command me, boy. She comes with me." Baghra sneered. Her hand tightened around Alina's wrist, dragging her closer, her own shadows pushing out to confront mine again. It was futile, I knew, to try to fight her off alone. She was much older, had a control over her power like no other. I learned nearly everything from her, what could I hope to use against her?
Baghra had always been a harsh, cold woman. Even when I was a boy, she maintained a cool distance that I couldn’t understand. It had only grown worse when my powers manifested. I was only a child of five or six when the shadows spilled from me for the first time. At the time I’d never seen my mother summon before. The shadows that clung to me, while somehow familiar, terrified me. Baghra had dragged me inside our small hut quickly. She'd explained to me that in order to survive, we would leave immediately and begin my training. Power was the only thing that would keep us safe. I would need to gain control of my powers and hone my skills. She looked at me with something akin to greed when she talked about our gifts. There is no one like us, and never will be. Everything else, everyone else was inconsequential. No one would be able to do what we did, live as long as we did.
She was never fond of anyone, not even our own people. She was careful to keep us apart from everyone else, reminding me constantly of their mortality, and our own immortality. “The problems of the world are not our problems,” she would hiss. She was a cruel woman, always had been. We had never seen eye to eye. She always thought me foolish for trying to her my people, our people. She had no issue with the way Grisha were hunted and killed for simply being. “They all die sooner or later, and people never change,” she reminded me.
But she had trained my powers well enough, knew more about bringing Grisha powers to the surface than any other, no matter how cruel her methods. As the only other living amplifier in the world, her help was invaluable. I had no other choice but to accept her offer to train my Grisha. Even if I hated her, I still needed her help. I had hoped having her in the Little Palace would allow me to keep a close eye on her. How had i missed this?
I should not have let her come here, anywhere near Alina, near any of my Grisha. But she had played on my foolish hope she could change her mind, that she could care what happened to our people. She only cared for herself. But what did she want with Alina?
She had not cared about any of my progress, or any of my plans, thought it seems she payed closer attention then I thought. But why? Why does she care now?
I knew my mother. She did not tell our secret to anyone, so why Alina? Why did she want Alina away from me so badly? She didn’t care about Alina, and she hadn’t cared who I bedded in hundreds of years. It couldn’t just be out of spite. Alina was my equal, the only other person in the world that could spend eternity with us. She knew I had no intention of following through with my plan to control Alina. I was foolishly honest with her, for the most part, about Alina. And yet she tried to manipulate her away from me. Why?
Alina wasn’t powerful enough yet to be of use to Baghra. She still needed far more training before she could begin using her powers against anyone. But what use would she have for her? Her only real goal had always been to survive, so why did she need Alina?
Whatever her plans for Alina, I knew they were malicious. I’d never truly challenged my mother before. Her powers had always surpassed mine. But now I have resources, power, loyal soldiers on my side. I am not a scared little boy anymore, and I will fight her tooth and nail. I will not let her have Alina. I will find a way to destroy her, if she tries to hurt Alina. No one will take Alina from me. No one. I’ve lost enough, I’ve given enough.
"Aleksander..."
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ragingstillness · 1 year
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Shadow and Bone spoilers - random thoughts from my notes (e4)
Ngl when I saw the guys unloading stuff near Pekka's secret house I thought I saw plants in those boxes and immediately thought Pekka was secretly selling jurda parem. Considering future happenings, this could still be true.
"Met" read: fucked
Love that Wylan's natural style just makes him look like a repairman.
When Jesper is fixing the wire Wylan literally says "what beautiful weather we're having" and I lost my shit.
I get the feeling Jack is flexing his musical skills on us.
Quoted directly from my notes here on the psuedo bathroom scene: "Shy boy is afraid of the seductive power of bare shoulders and tank tops."
Idk why but Kaz and Inej constantly promising to protect each other gave me this:
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"No one's ever smart enough to look for the real one" - *breathing heavily*
Goddammit Nina you cock-blocker.
Quoted directly from my notes here: "Finally we get to see Kaz kill someone."
"I recommend a cane" - haha get fucked
For my RE4 fans in advance of the remake coming out the 24th: Kaz with his hair sweaty looks like Leon.
"This city's price is blood and I am happy to pay with yours" - it says something about me that I become most lustful for Kaz the more violent he gets.
Quoted directly from my notes here: "Ben looks scruffy, I bet he enjoyed not shaving for a while."
Letting David work in the same room as Baghra's cage was a grade A bad idea™.
The balls on Nikolai proposing to Alina in front of Mal. Big Ball Energy?
Quoted directly from my notes here: "'I'd lay down my life to protect you' - don't speak too soon Mal."
Quoted directly from my notes here: "Are they gonna fuck now? They're playing the soulful sex flutes."
I'm sorry but Genya's vest is one of the ugliest pieces of clothing I've ever seen.
"I should be your greatest shame" - powerful line, not sure I believe it. If they had shown him coercing Genya in season one I'd buy it more.
Cowards won't show Genya getting attacked by the Nichevo'ya.
Wylan's little face nudge up into Jesper's space is the cutest thing.
Those deeply CGI wolves are going to be adopted by me now. To keep them away from both the Hellgate staff and Matthias.
Quoted directly from my notes here: "Wow he's [Matthias] really gonna be a little bitch about her [Nina] lying to save their lives."
I really like how the sound mixers have been layering Ben's voice when he coughs, like the Nichevo'ya are speaking over and through him.
Why is Aleksander's tidemaker friend wearing green? Not a grisha order I recognize. I mean, it looks good on her but I'm still surprised nothing was ever made of it.
Repeating what someone else said: why are there no oprichniki?
Aleksander looks like he's nearly crying all the time.
The licking was somehow both creepy and sexy.
I'd love some explanation on how much the tether can effect reality and the locations it takes place in.
Quoted directly from my notes here when Alina shows up at Nikolai's door: "Christ girl do not fuck him."
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sanktyastag · 3 years
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just now realizing that aleksander never actually told alina why he left after The Kiss, since baghra steals her away immediately afterwards. like she doesn’t know that marie is dead, or that there was an attempt on her life, or who orchestrated that attempt.
which means that when aleksander takes her into the fold to destroy novokribirsk, and then gives her that whole “they are traitors who tried to kill you. this is retribution.” speech, alina has... no idea what he’s talking about.
sasha, my boy. i know there was a lot going on, and breakups hit everyone differently, but i do feel like maybe that was worth peppering in at some point.
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Shadows and Scars
Chapter 20
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Ok it was way to hard to find a good Alina gif lol they took foreverrrrr to load. Sorry for the wait, but things are definitely starting to pick up. Since I have not planned this fic out ahead of time, the story comes along as I write it, but I already know how it will end so hopefully (school willing), I can finish the series and post more. The chapters should grow longer and more exciting as we get farther in, but for now I need to lay the framework for the fun stuff. Also, I am following the timeline of the show. Enjoy!!!
Banner made by maysdigitalarts
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Aleksander was still in his war room when you returned to his quarters.
“Where were you?” He asked, not taking his eyes off of his table of troop movements.
“I went for a walk.” You asnwered curtly. “Wanted some air.”
He scoffed at that before taking a drink from a nearby glass. “I’m sure.”
“Is there anything you need moi sovreingyi?” You sassed back at him. “Or am I allowed to go to sleep?”
He finally turned to look at you and you met his cold stare. “I told you to call me Aleksander.” He rasped out.
“Forgive me Aleksander, but it’s hard to keep track of what you want.” You tilted your head at him and leaned on your cane.
“You’re upset.” He said coolly leaning on the table. How observant. “Understandable, but still irritating.” He furrowed his brows in thought. You watched as he ran his hand over his face and sighed.
“Just go to bed, I can’t deal with you tonight.” He waved you off dismissively.
You wanted to press on and see exactly what had riled him up so much, but antagonizing Aleksander wasn’t how you wanted to spend your night. Saints know you didn’t want to give him another reason to force himself upon you.
“Fine.” You shrugged disinterestedly before shaking your head.
He said nothing as you stomped away and closed the door quickly. At least you’d actually get some sleep tonight.
You slowly walked over to your wardrobe, Aleksander had all of your belongings brought over and placed in one of his. He certainly seemed to have planned out your impromptu move very quickly.
You rummaged around the drawers looking for your nightdress when you heard muffled voices through the door.
You slowly unbuttoned your kefta and moved towards the door, leaving your cane by the dresser.
There were two voices, one Aleksander’s, and the other, a soft feminine voice. Alina. You felt your shoulders deflate as you couldn’t make out what they were saying and pulled off your shirt while walking back to where you had been before.
The conversation the two of them were having had made you remember the night Aleksander had asked you to his room. It had seemed so long ago, but it was only three days since he had shown his true colors.
Your mind wandered back to Mariya and her calming demeanor before your mind drifted to Vera and Andrei. They hadn’t heard from you in three days, and if what Aleksander had said was true, then you wondered how much longer Andrei had at the Little Palace, and how Vera would do without him. After your shift with Aleksander, you would immediately go to find them and try to explain your absence.
Most of Aleksander’s guards didn’t have to take shifts watching him, but from what Baghra had said, you knew that he wanted to keep you close.
When you had finished changing, you flinched as a sudden light burst from under the creak of the door.
You felt a strange prideful sensation bubble inside of your gut, and paled as you felt one of the few emotions that Aleksander possessed.
You said nothing, and froze as if your stillness would shake off the sensation, but the feelings of pride bloomed into something else. You knew exactly what it was from the short time you had with Ruslan. Longing.
Your heart twisted at the thought of the boy who had nursed you back to health after you escaped the fold, who had volunteered to go in your place one time before your superiors had shot the idea down, the first boy you had ever loved.
What had become of him? You knew Anya was dead, at least according to Aleksander, but he had not mentioned Ruslan.
He obviously knew that he existed, and that you were close, but somehow you knew deep inside that he must have done something to stop him from visiting the Little Palace.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Ruslan’s POV
~~~~~~~~~~~
The sturdy second army boots crunched the gravel underneath them as Ruslan and Kaz Brekker entered the Little Palace with no resistance. He wasn’t stupid, Ruslan knew that the only reason Brekker hadn’t killed him by now was because of the bright red and silver kefta on his back and the easy access to the Little Palace. And the extra coin to pull off two jobs at the same time was too good of an opportunity to pass.
He slowly twisted his fingers to calm his beating heart. The rapid panicked beats it was giving would not help him blend in when he inevitably came face to face with another corporalki.
“Through this door.” Ruslan nodded his head into a side entrance to the Little Palace before ducking inside.
He didn’t have to turn around to know that Brekker had followed and was already trying to memorize the details of the fortress that the map and Ruslan couldn’t provide.
“Certainly a lot more security than I remembered.” Ruslan grumbled slowly after the pair had marched past a group of guards who were eyeing the circus performers intently. He tried not to pay attention to his accomplices.
“All accounted for.” Kaz replied briskly. Not one for idle conversation. Noted.
“Listen, I know that the Sun summoner is your first priority.” Ruslan whispered as he slowed his pace. “But if you hold up your end of the deal I can guarantee that the Darkling will be distracted long enough for you to make the grab.”
“And what exactly is stopping me from killing you here and causing a distraction that way?” Kaz walked ahead of him and Ruslan had to use large strides to keep up. The criminal was much quicker than he had expected for his limp, but all things considered, that would help both parties.
“He’s only seen me once.” Ruslan hissed. “But he knows exactly who I am, I’ve changed since then and when I have an opportunity to save Y/n, you’d better believe that I’d keep him distracted as long as possible.”
Kaz rolled his eyes at the sentiment. “And when you get captured and killed?”
“I never said-“
“We both know distracting the Darkling is a death sentence.” Kaz interrupted as the two neared the hidden dressing room in the wall. “What I don’t know is why you’d get yourself killed for some… girl.” He grimaced at that. Ruslan smiled as he thought back to the fleeting glances he had seen the rouge throw at the Suli girl armed to the teeth with knives.
“I know you probably don’t feel love Mr. Brekker, but Y/n isn’t just the woman I love. She just might be the key to saving us all.” His eyes clouded over as he felt the letter from Baghra seem to burn a hole in his side pocket.
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if Aleksander was truly a villain
[I apologise for the chaotic structure, however I only now taken my ADHD meds and it takes some time before they kick in]
I am (spite) rewatching the show and have noticed the writers missed many opportunities in which they could absolutely make Aleksander/The Darkling the absolute villain. The one that would actually be feared, that we would maybe even hate as we hated characters such as Joffrey Baratheon (well, probably not because Aleksander is an attractive adult but you know).
For example, their first meeting. 
He could have brought her to him in chains on their first meeting. He could have interrogated her if she isn’t a Shu-spy, or showcase behavior similar to the one Zoya had towards Alina. He could have told her how many people died because of her actions, break her down. He could have told her it was all for nothing and lie that Mal also died, because of her selfish actions. 
And when they transported her to the Little Palace.
He could’ve played on Alina’s emotions, say that those people died for and because of her. That if she had not pushed her powers down and accepted her identity instead of suffocating herself to stay with Mal, she would already be a powerful Grisha. Maybe even destroyed the Fold already. Countless deaths could have been avoided, including those of her friends. Maybe even the war would have ended and there would be no threat of a civil war. And her fear of his own powers? He could have easily flipped it onto her, that she is treating him the way many soldiers and commoners treated her, just she lets her prejudice against Grisha influence her, not her prejudice against the Shu.
Instead of giving her the time to recover after the travel, he could have dragged her to court. Order the servants and Genya to get her ready immediately and introduce her as a tool, a weapon, someone under him, a means to an end. 
He could have isolated her from anyone, not allow any Grisha to be close enough to be considered friends. Order Genya to feed Alina lies that it’s for protection, or that it’s the order of the King, or that they don’t want to interact with her because of her internalised prejudice and unwillingness to help them. He could have forged letters between Mal and Alina, instead of just taking them. Make it seem like they hate each other. That Mal hates Alina for being Grisha and nearly getting him killed. That Alina hates Mal for being human. Kirigan could have gone as far as to tell Alina that Zoya did not sleep with Mal, but instead that Mal attacked her and forced her, and that’s the reason why Zoya hates Alina. Because she’s Mal’s friend.
He could have become Alina’s only friend, the one who would comfort her after Baghra’s lessons, eat meals with her, send her gifts, teach her, take her for rides. All while feeding her lies. Maybe that he too suppressed his powers once, to avoid being taken from someone he loves, and understands her struggles. He could have made her believe that without him, it will not be possible for her to ever take down the Fold. Maybe feed her a story that it was Baghra who was the Black Heretic, but the history changed a woman into a man because it was easier for them to believe. It would be easy to persuade Alina and make her think that Baghra is there just to keep everything under her control, keep Aleksander under her control like she did for centuries. 
He could have shown her the corpses of the Grisha killed by Fjerdans, Shu, Ravkans. The ones who were still tended to by the Healers, still in pain, screaming, covered in blood. Tell her the stories how once Grisha would hunt each other for the amplifiers. How Shadow Summoners were seen as something to hate, to be feared. Make her feel sympathy for him. Fall for him, only to be chained with the amplifiers because Kirigan does not trust her and will never trust her. It would show that he is incapable of trust, of love. He would betray her first. Or maybe she would be given the amplifiers as a sign of love, and once they were in the Fold? that’s when he would betray her. Along the way Baghra, Genya, maybe even Zoya would try to tell Alina who he really is but she wouldn’t believe it.
When Mal comes to Kirigan with the information about the whereabouts of the stag but refuses to say anything if he doesn’t see Alina? Torture the information out of him. Make one of the Heartrenders squeeze it out, or make Zoya do the job just to twist the knife. Send Marie who is tailored as Alina to Mal, make her lie that she (Alina) hates him, that he’s nothing, that he will always be nothing. Tailor one of his soldiers into Mal and send him to Alina, to do the same!
When Mal is later captured? Break the damn promise, kill him. Torture him, make him go mad with hate towards Grisha, lie that he simply ran away and left Alina to deal with all of this alone.
Also - no Kirigan caring for his Grisha. It’s hard to see someone with a good goal (fighting the oppression of his people) as a villain. To make him a villain, he should be like Baghra. No lost love to Ravkan soldiers. No him risking his life to protect the other Grisha. No him being patient-fatherly like towards David. No sending Fedyor to find Nina (who is just another soldier). He should see them as simple pawns, soldiers with no names, expendable tools in his game, and we should see that. 
They had so many opportunities to make him a villain, but they didn’t. Instead they made him one of most logical and sympathetic characters in the show. Who wouldn’t empathise with someone who comes from an oppressed group, and for centuries tries to give his people a safe place? Who started as a helper to the King, and was betrayed by said King after winning a war for him? Who was hunted by the human soldiers and was forced to watch his love be murdered in front of him? Who was raised by an abusive, emotionally unavailable mother who isolated him from his fellow Grisha? Who has shown time and time again that he cares for his people and just wants them to be safe? He used merzost knowing it would be a risk, but he was willing to take it to protect his people. He used it once, when the King was hunting him and his fellow Grisha, and he used it again when Zlatan was causing a civil war and selling Grisha to Fjerdans. That’s not actions of a villain.
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INEFFABLE - Kaz Brekker
Chapter Ten
If you would like to read this on Wattpad, it’s on there as well, my @ is in_my_feels_probably and there’s a few visuals and better descriptions and stuff on there. otherwise, enjoy, let me know what you think, and you can check out my masterlist for updates and more. don’t forget to read the prologue, it’s important to the story!
INEFFABLE – Kaz Brekker
ineffable (adj.) too great to be expressed in words, utterly indescribable; too sacred to speak of. 
Chapter Ten
The Crows quickly navigated the palace halls, trying to get to Jesper at the meeting point as quickly as they could. He was supposed to be waiting outside the escape route, standing watch, overlooking the carriages, which was their escape plan, and Elham was praying he was ok and waiting for them so she could get as far away from the Little Palace as possible.
She was cursing herself the whole way, punishing herself for not getting Alina away from the Darkling. She didn't have much time to ponder how colossally they had failed, or how pissed Kaz was going to be for her not telling him that she was an Inferni, although he would have plenty of time to sulk on the way home, because he had finally led them outside, spotting Jesper.
They trudged over to him, Kaz now very obviously limping, and Elham looked even more worried than Jesper did.
"Wow, Elham. I've never seen you in a dress. Interesting."
She sent a glare his way, and he immediately reeled back.
What happened, you ok?"
Inej's face lit up. "She's real, Jesper. She made the light sing."
Kaz grumbled next to Elham. "We lost her."
Jesper chuckled, turning towards the carriage, a smile on his face, his voice full of amusement.
"Did we?"
Kaz squinted his eyes, before speaking. "Well, we don't know where she is."
Jesper was still chuckling. "Don't we?"
Elham froze, before catching up to Jesper, spinning him around by his jacket.
"What can I do for you, love?"
"Jesper, very much not the time for you to be joking. What do you mean?"
"Just ask."
"Jesper!" Elham let a flame pool in her palm, and Jesper immediately gasped, taking a step back.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that."
Kaz stepped up as they began climbing into the carriage. "We don't have time for this, just get in, and you can give us all a very well deserved explanation."
His tone was menacing, and Elham sunk into her seat she had taken next to Inej.
"Do we have a fix on where the target is?"
Jesper glanced towards the back of the carriage, before smiling, snapping the reigns. The carriage jolted forward, and they began making their way off the palace grounds.
---
It had been a few minutes of riding in silence, and the air was thick with tension. Elham pretended not to notice Inej's glances toward her hands she had clenched in her lap. Jesper kept glancing over his shoulder at her, but she wouldn't meet his eyes.
Kaz hadn't turned around once, eyes set straight ahead.
Jesper finally broke the silence. "So...do you want to tell me what the hell that was?"
Elham took a deep breath, willing herself not to cry. Through clenched teeth, she spoke. "I'm an Inferni."
"Well that's obvious, love. I think we all gathered that. Why the hell didn't any of us know? And why show us now?"
Elham thought back to the orphanage she grew up in, to being tested and taken to the Little Palace. Meeting Nina, training with Baghra, finding out about the Darkling. Escaping and coming to Ketterdam. Going through a year of pain, meeting Kaz and becoming part of the Dregs, then the Crows, part of a family.
Kaz still hadn't turned around, but she knew he was listening. Inej had turned to face her, contently listening.
"Ok, ok, alright. You all know I'm an orphan, I grew up in Karamzin until I was 10 or so. I don't know who my parents are, what happened to them, or why they didn't want me, I just know I was born in Novyi Zem and I was taken to the orphanage, and I lived there till the Grisha came to test the new children. They tested me, and took me to the Little Palace to become part of the Second Army, to start training."
Jesper turned around slightly, eyeing her. "You're telling me you lived here, and didn't wanna tell us any vital information to get us inside?"
"I didn't want you to know, ok! It wasn't exactly the best time of my life here."
"Why not?" Elham felt a tear roll down her cheek, and quickly wiped it away. "I'm an Inferni, but I'm not like the rest of them. They have to use something to create a spark, they can't just summon it like I can. The problem is, it's unpredictable. I never got a hold on it, so they would rarely let me use it in training. I had to learn physical combat skills instead, which did actually come in handy in the Barrel."
Inej had grabbed Elham's hand now, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Kaz had slightly turned in her direction.
"Anyways, everyone thought I was a freak, people were scared of me, they didn't want to be around me. Besides Nina."
Kaz fully turned around towards her at that, and you could almost detect a tone of hurt in his voice. What else hadn't she told him? "Really? You know Nina?"
"Knew. I haven't seen her since I was 13. She was one of my only friends in the Little Palace, and even then, I hardly saw her. Etherealki don't interact much with Corporalki, each type of Grisha generally sticks to their own order. Nina left before me though, she was quite skilled, and the Second Army needed new soldiers. I wasn't anywhere near ready, so I was left alone. Baghra took a liking to me, and made me her personal project."
Inej quipped up. "Who's Baghra?"
Elham's lips turned to a frown. "The Darkling's mother."
"What? Isn't the Darkling like a hundred years old?"
"Yes. And so is she. He just plays her off as an older mentor that had joined when he first came into service for the King. Which wasn't in the past hundred years, by the way."
Jesper sounded exasperated. "What does that mean?"
Elham almost laughed, and she would have if there wasn't a pit in her stomach and she felt like she could burst into tears at any moment.
"The Darkling, and the Black Heretic...they're the same person. He's been faking his death every few hundred years and coming into the service of a new King, now he serves the Lantsov line. I'm sure he was alive when the first Lantsov became King, he's that old, and so is Baghra."
Inej gasped, her face going pale. "The Black Heretic, the one who created the Fold...the Darkling did that?"
"Yes."
Kaz finally spoke up. "How the hell could you possibly know all of this? I find it hard to believe someone decided to tell all of this to a 13 year old girl."
Elham narrowed her eyes at him. "They didn't have a choice. Baghra had to tell me, it was the only way she could get me to leave."
Jesper was pinching the bridge of his nose. "Saints, Elham, alright, I'm gonna need you to explain a little bit better than that."
Elham nodded, sitting up straighter. "As I said earlier, Baghra started watching over me. She didn't like the idea of a Grisha not being able to defend themself. So she made me choose a weapon, and master it. She had me running drills, practicing sun up to sun down. Saints, I've never been as tired as I was training with her."
Elham chuckled, but it was pained, and her smile didn't meet her eyes. "She taught me some ways to try and control my powers, but I would never be as good with them as I was with a sword, and I think she knew that, so she let me master it before she started training me with my powers. We would practice away from the other Grisha, she didn't want me distracted. One day, the Darkling sat in on my training."
She took a deep breath, attempting to calm herself. "He never told me why he was there, and Baghra lied and said he just liked to check in on the training sessions every once in a while. It's awful to say, but Saints, I would have done anything to have people look at me like he did when he watched me use my powers. He didn't look at me like I was some freak of nature, he saw my potential. I was so naive, I should have known."
Kaz was intently staring at Elham, watching the emotions change in her face. "Know what?"
"That he wanted to use me. My powers are different, I can summon them whenever I want, and the more I used them, the stronger I got. I could blaze down a whole forest if I wanted to and not even break a sweat. He made sure Baghra was teaching me to control them, and then he started taking me to training sessions himself, asking me questions."
Kaz's jaw was clenched. "Like what?"
"Like if I was scared of his powers. Or if I was sick of people looking down on me. When I started getting a grip on my powers, he took me from training out into the forest to practice more. And then...he--"
Elham choked down a cry, rubbing her hand down her face. "He wanted to see if he could use my powers with his. He had me create a flame, and he would twist darkness into it, making the flame grow. He could pull the flame towards him, moving it without me having to. Saints only know what I could have done with an amplifier."
"What's an amplifier?"
"An object that a Grisha can use to enhance their power. The Darkling is one himself, he was by far the best method to me controlling my powers."
Inej squeezed Elham's hand again. "I don't understand, why'd he take such interest in you?"
Elham couldn't stop the tears from falling this time. "He wanted to use my powers and his in the Fold. He wanted to light the whole thing up. It would have been a mountain of fire and darkness. He never wanted to destroy the fold, he wanted to make it a weapon." She chuckled darkly. "I didn't want to believe Baghra when she told me. I was just beginning to feel like I belonged, and it felt like she was ripping that away from me. I'm not completely heartless, though, I never would have let him use me like that. I have no love for Ravka, but I could never add to his incessant need for destruction and power. I escaped, and never thought about coming back."
Jesper laid a hand on her knee. "I'm sorry you had to come back."
She gave him a small smile. "It's alright. I think I needed to. I needed to face this, I needed to face him. Besides, I had to at least try and get Alina out. When you all went into the palace, and I had to try and find another way in, I took the trail I used to escape. It led right to Baghra's hut, she's the one who helped me get inside the palace. I had to see if what everyone was saying was true, if the Sun Summoner was real, so I went to her."
Elham was actually smiling now, and Kaz's shoulders eased at the sight of it. "You know, she was the one who gave me the sword. The one I had all those years in Ketterdam."
The smile faded. "The one Pekka Rollins broke. I had almost forgotten about that."
Kaz watched her face fall, and despite himself, his heart clenched at the sight. She continued.
"Baghra told me that I needed to get Alina out, and I promised her I would. That kind of power in the hands of the Darkling, it would be catastrophic...oh, Saints!"
"What?"
"Baghra! If Alina escaped, the Darkling is going to find out who let her go, who told her about him. He's ruthless, he'd kill his own mother. If anything happens to her..."
Elham trailed off, unable to speak. Despite not knowing the right thing to say, Kaz couldn't bear to watch her in pain, and watch her sit there suffering. He hesitated then spoke.
"You know, she is the Darkling's mother. She's survived all of these years before him, I'm sure she'll long outlive him. If she's anything like how you talk about her, she has nothing to worry about."
Elham sniffed, nodding at him gratefully. "So...now you all know, I guess. About me, and everything. Surprise?"
Inej let out a laugh, and Jesper was grinning. "Hey, El...want to know another surprise?"
She eagerly nodded, directing her attention to him. He glanced around at the Crows, leaning in. "The Sun Summoner? She may or not be in the back of the carriage in the trunk. Allegedly, of course."
There was silence for a few moments, and nobody moved, stunned. Elham just stared at Jesper, who was grinning like a fool. Kaz relaxed against his seat, his lips curled into the smallest grin.
"Well. Maybe there are Saints after all."
---
A/N - hi guys, i'm really excited to get into the stuff i've had planned since before starting this story, i've got a lot of elham and kaz content coming, hope y'all are ready for it all. let me know what you thought, feel free to reach out, and thank you for the support!
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What Was Aleksander Thinking? (The Runaway)
Ok so I am bored and I can’t sleep so obviously I decided to rewatch S&B again. And as it always does it got me thinking so I am thinking I might do a series of posts centred on various events that take place in the show and do a deep dive into what Aleks was thinking, what his thought process was during those events and how those thoughts influenced his actions. This post obviously being the first in the series and this time I want to focus on Alina running away and what Aleks’ thought process was when he was pursuing her. So obviously show spoilers here. Also as always this one got really really long.  
I’m going to start with the moment that he discovers she is missing. Obviously we know that he leaves because he has just received word that an assassin has made it into the LP and attacked Genya and Marie with Alina being the target of the attack. We can assume during the time he is away, and whilst Baghra is outing him to Alina, that Aleks was likely in the fitting room being filled in on what happened. So whilst away he would have learned that not only was there an attack but that Marie had died in that attack. I think we don’t think about how much this would have hurt Aleks. He built the LP as a safe haven for Grisha, its suppose to be the one place where they are truly safe, but now one of his grisha has died inside its walls. I feel like this would have made Aleks even angrier and maybe even guilty and like he failed in providing that haven he had promised himself at 13 he would make for the grisha. So naturally upon hearing that the assassin had actually killed a grisha his immediate response instead of going and speaking to The Conductor/ assassin is to check in on Alina. You can see how eager he is to see her as he comes into the room. When he doesn’t see her in the war room he doesn’t panic right away, instead he heads straight to the bedroom whilst calling her name and knocking in the most adorable way on the table as he goes. It is when he discovers that Alina isn’t there either that I think he begins to become worried. The next time we see him is when he is crossing the grounds and encounters his mother. The context of this scene though is important because the scene before it shows Jesper with the coaches and he quickly hides as soldiers go running by shouting ‘He’s over there!’ and ‘Quickly, get in there!’ Seeing as this scene follows right after Inej kills the Inferni, I actually think this was when they had just discovered the Inferni’s body. So when we see Aleks crossing through the grounds its likely that he has also just learnt that another one of his grisha has been killed which would indicate that the assassin wasn’t alone. So knowing this he is naturally very concerned about the fact that he can’t find Alina. We can see that he is very agitated, he is walking fast and looking around quickly, checking everywhere, his fists are clenched. Then he comes across his mother who can obviously see that he is searching for someone but she assumes he is looking for M*l. This is one of the things that makes me sure that Aleks really did care for Alina because at this point he is so focused on Alina that he has completely forgotten about the Stag, which seeing as the stag is the thing that will give him control over her powers if her powers were the only thing he cared about he wouldn’t have forgotten about it. Instead he has to ask his mother who she is talking about because the only thing he was thinking about in that moment was finding Alina and making sure she was safe. After his impassioned speech about Alina being the one that his mother interrupts with ‘but where is she’ I think Aleks begins to suspect that maybe his mother had something to do with the assassination attempt, maybe she helped them into the LP, she had just admitted to disposing of M*l after all. So he warns her and points out that she doesn’t matter anymore either. I kept wondering what he meant by this line and I think it might be because up until now I feel like Aleks stuck with his mother because she was the only other immortal and so despite them not really seeing eye to eye he knows without her he will well and truly be alone. But now there is Alina and she is immortal and so Aleks won’t have to be alone if he leaves Baghra. When he’s warning her I did notice that Baghra did look sad and hurt when he says that she doesn’t matter. He is basically telling her that she is disposable herself now, that he no longer needs her. Of course this conversation only agitates and worries him further. As he walks away you can see him clenching and unclenching his fists and to me it looked like he was trying really hard to keep calm and keep his emotions in check. As he is walking away Baghra calls after him ‘I reckon you’d need a skilled tracker to find her now, pity.’ Obviously she is mocking him here but this does tell him two things, one Alina is still alive and two she’s not in the LP anymore. 
 After his talk with his mother he goes to The Conductor to interrogate him, I do think part of the reason he goes straight there is because he wants to know whether his mother did help the crow crew kidnap Alina but also because he is desperate to find Alina as quickly as he can and so needs all the information he can get. At first when the interrogation starts Aleks is his usual calm and collected self. But Aleks is very smart and after centuries on this earth can read people very well and so he very quickly figures out that his prisoner is The Conductor by putting together the report from Nina and the fact that The Conductor says he crossed the fold with three others. Here we actually see Aleks become angry, The Conductor is clearly someone he already hated, he even loses his cool and shouts when talking about how The Conductor smuggles grisha out of his palace and helps them abandon the war effort. He manages to get his emotions back under control and again when he continues he appears calm, but his eyes betray his anger, however that venom he feels towards The Conductor comes through again when he questions whether The Conductor had something to do with Nina’s disappearance. At this point he knows this man has smuggled grisha out of the LP, has helped a crew planning to kidnap Alina into the LP, has tried to kill Alina. It doesn’t take much for him to put all the pieces together and figure out that he was also working with Zlatan. The look of absolute hatred and loathing on Aleks’ face when The Conductor admitted that he agreed to kill Alina for Zlatan for a million kruge was actually really chilling. This was the man who had tried to take Alina away from him, the woman who he had waited for, had longed and ached for over hundreds of years and he was going to take her away for something as materialistic as money. The moment he admitted to it The Conductor had signed his death warrant. But you know what? I also think he signed the death warrants of everyone in Novokribirsk too because I really do believe it was at this moment that Aleks decided to take drastic action to get rid of Zlatan and his rebel forces. This is what he means when he says to The Conductor ‘No. I think I’ll take care of that myself’ when he offers to get revenge on Zlatan for Aleks. As he is walking away The Conductor asks how he can help and Aleks replies that he already has, which is true, he had helped Aleks decide what to do with Zlatan, he had confirmed by not mentioning her that Baghra hadn’t helped kidnap Alina though in Aleks’ mind he thinks she clearly knew something about it considering she made that comment of where is she, he doesn’t know about his mother’s own plot to help Alina escape so he probably assumes his mother saw the crows take Alina, and he also now knows that it was in fact the crows that took Alina so he now has a target to pursue.   
So by this point Aleks has realised that Alina is missing and has now discovered who took her, so now its all systems go in searching for her. This is when Fedyor comes to give his report about Nina, but when he says he has a lead on ‘her’ Aleks thinks he means Alina and you can see for a moment that he is relieved, happy and hopeful. But then you can see his disappointment when he realises Fedyor is talking about Nina and he looks a little angry too which I think is the residual anger left over from The Conductor and from the fact that he has lost two of his grisha within the walls of the LP. When he tells Fedyor to go as far as he can and bring back any grisha he finds I think this is again because he wants to protect grisha and he wants them behind the walls of the LP so they can be protected but he also wants ‘one of theirs’ because the events of the night have clearly brought up alot of his anger at the grisha being hunted and killed and how that never seems to change, he is very much in this mindset of wanting to hurt anyone who has even so much as thought about hurting even one of his grisha, he wants vengeance and not just for them trying to hurt Alina but for trying to hurt grisha as a whole. So this means killing the Conductor, this means killing the crows, this means killing Zlatan and this means killing any Fjerdan/ Witch Hunter he can get his hands on. I really do think that Aleks was coming to a breaking point and I think the catalyst for that was losing Alina, he feels unbalanced and lost without her and as the time that he is away from her goes on he becomes more and more erratic and unhinged.    
The next scene we get is between Zoya and Aleks and he instructs her to assemble a team which includes David because they are going to be pursuing Alina’s ‘kidnappers’. Zoya is clearly confused about why David is going to come and Aleks answers that he’ll need him for what comes next obviously meaning after they find Alina and needing him for the stag amplifier. Now I’ve said this before but I really don’t think this is because he was already planning to force the collar on her and steal her powers. I actually think Aleks is thinking more along the lines of, I nearly lost Alina to an assassin and now she has been taken against her will to essentially be sold to some stranger across the fold, I need to get her back and then I need to make her as powerful as possible so that if there’s a next time that someone tries to harm her she’s even more powerful and even more capable of defending herself. If she has the stag amplifier then there’s even less chance that he will lose her and she will be even more his equal. Throughout this scene we can see that Aleks looks flustered and scattered, he’s moving from place to place, he’s picking up one map then looking at this piece of parchment. He’s very distracted and even when giving instructions to Zoya he barely even looks at her and is only half paying attention when she starts asking questions. When she then brings up the possibility that Alina was rescued and ran with the crows Aleks actually looks really irritated, he doesn’t even consider it as a possibility, his facial expressions is basically saying why are you bothering me with this nonsense I’ve got more important things to worry about like rescuing Alina. I mean it is very obvious at this point that he believes this is a rescue operation. Zoya keeps pushing saying that Alina didn’t fit in, that she was under alot of pressure and this is when Aleks snaps a little. He tells Zoya he knew exactly how Alina felt, that the King’s men treated him the same way. Zoya is clearly surprised at his outburst, this is someone who is usually very in control of themselves. You can also see on Aleks’ face that he realised he let out more information than he meant to, he’s surprised at himself. Then he sighs and shakes his head while sinking onto the bed, clearly hit by fatigue and tiredness and says he’s not feeling himself. It’s actually a rare moment of vulnerability, one that Zoya responds too by bringing up how he used to call on her. Aleks makes it pretty clear he’s not interested in talking about that with his very dismissive ‘Did I?’ Zoya doesn’t take the hint though and keeps pushing continuing to talk about how she used to help him relax clearly offering to help him ‘relax’ again. But Aleks just dismisses her again and says he’ll relax when he has Alina making it very clear to Zoya that whatever they had in the past is staying in the past. 
I do think that Aleks is grappling alot with his past in this episode. I think alot of things are reminding him of the past, The Conductor and Nina being taken by the Fjerdans is reminding him of all the suffering and prosecution he’s witnessed his people go through and how he was hunted by the old king, his conversation with his mother reminding him of his poor relationship with her and all the issues he had with her over the years, Zoya reminding him of how lonely he was and how he used to seek comfort through a casual fling with her just so he could get some human contact when he was feeling particularly stressed and of course Alina being missing reminding him of all the lovers he’s lost, in particular Luda. On top of that as I said before he’s feeling very unbalanced without Alina. His emotions are all over the place, he’s clearly still very worried and concerned for Alina, he’s feeling alot of anger at the crows, at his mother, he’s feeling the stress of trying to find Alina whilst also dealing with everything else that is going on like Nina also being missing. Basically Aleks is just not having a good time of it. So by the time he leads the hunt for the crows and comes across Kaz he’s already in a pretty foul mood. Also as a mentioned above he has alot of anger at the crows for taking Alina and killing grisha in the LP. When Kaz says that they don’t have Alina and that she fled on her own Aleks for a moment looks surprised he literally stops dead in his tracks. But he gets this look on his face and you can see he is trying to figure Kaz out and looks very suspicious and comes to the conclusion that Kaz must be lying. So again he insists on knowing where Alina is. But again Kaz says he doesn’t know, that it was obvious she didn’t want to be a captive anymore. You can see it starting to dawn on Aleks that Kaz may be telling the truth, him talking about how she didn’t want to be a captive anymore and Zoya earlier talking about how Alina didn’t fit in and was under alot of pressure and Aleks is starting to think maybe Alina felt trapped and ran by herself. You can see that he has tears in his eyes and is clearly very hurt at the idea that Alina left him willingly. He becomes angry and tries to kill Kaz. I said earlier that Aleks is very much on a hunt for anyone who he believes has wronged him or the grisha and the crows are very much on this list so naturally when Kaz escapes this only makes Aleks angrier. In those moments right after Kaz escapes Aleks is left alone with his thoughts and you can see him processing everything and to be honest the man looks completely destroyed. He’s clearly struggling alot with this new information that Alina ran on her own, that she didn’t want to be with him, that she chose to leave him. Now this bit is more my theory on what I think he might be thinking at this moment its not really based on anything just to me it would be a natural thought process. But I do think on his walk back to the carriage he would have been thinking it all over and coming up with a plan. So what is this new plan? Well I think Aleks would figure from what Kaz said about being a captive and everything Zoya said, that Alina is feeling trapped and is maybe getting overwhelmed by everything and so ran away scared. I mean when he does get back to where the carriage is supposed to be he actually seems alot calmer and I think this is because he believes now that yes Alina ran on her own but she only left because she just got overwhelmed about having so many lives to safe and once he finds her he can calm her down and reassure her and she’ll come home again. This is why he doesn’t seem bothered about chasing the crows, as much as he hates them and as much as he wants them dead, Alina is his priority and as he says she is on her own. Basically he is back in the mind set of she needs my help, she’s on her own and she’s scared, I’m going to find her and bring her home and keep her safe. 
Of course all that changes when he speaks to the guy Alina attacked. During the first part of the conversation Aleks seems happy and relieved, he knows Alina was there and now he knows that she headed into the woods. But then the guy makes the comment about her being a spy and talks about how a first army tracker was also looking for her. I think in this moment Aleks thinks he’s figured out what happened, but is obviously wrong. He thinks that his mother helped Mal rescue Alina and that Alina chose to run with Mal and the two of them are going after the stag together. Here’s why he thinks that, firstly he knows how Alina has strong feelings for M*l and vice versa. Secondly Alina made that comment in episode three asking if any grisha had escaped the LP, thirdly his mother told him that Mal was dead and yet not only is he alive but he is with Alina which looks really bad for Baghra, he probably thinks that Baghra convinced Alina to claim the stag for herself and then sent the two of them after it so that Aleks couldn’t get the stag’s power. He probably thinks this was a long term thought out plan that took place during Baghra's lessons with Alina that they were conspiring together. He might even think that the kisses he and Alina shared were actually Alina trying to get him to let down his guard and distract him. So he is now feeling angry, hurt, betrayed and used. Also from the way he says the line about orphan’s of keramzin reuniting he is also obviously jealous and to be honest I also think he’s heartbroken. I think it’s telling that when he informs his team that she’s in the woods and going after the stag he uses miss starkov, he does often interchange what name he uses for her depending on the situation and in this case I think he’s trying to distance himself from her again to go back to that formality. I believe this is the moment he decided that he was going to kill the stag himself and take Alina’s powers for himself. He has decided that he has been a fool and that he can’t trust her, that by letting her in he lost sight of his mission to protect the grisha and that’s led to him losing three of his grisha in the last 24 or so hours. He can’t risk the grisha’s future again so the only path he can follow now is to force Alina to help him by taking control of her powers. He’s not merely searching for her anymore, he’s hunting her.
When he does finally catch up with her alot of his thoughts are confirmed for him, she is with M*l, she is with the stag so in his mind he must have been right about it all, she did chose to run away with M*l and go after the stag herself because she is acting against him along with his mother. But as I’ve mentioned in previous posts I also think in this moment seeing Alina distressed over an injured M*l and desperate to save him and the stag he is thinking alot about Luda and how he was once in a similar position and I do think the protectiveness he feels for her and his desire to save her from going through the same experiences he did takes over. As angry at her as he is and as hurt as he is, he still cares deeply for Alina, he just doesn’t think he can trust her anymore because in his mind she betrayed him for M*l and now instead of them working together she is working against him. I think this is why he does have that conversation with her before he puts the collar on her about how there’s nothing more powerful than the two of them together and how they can do anything together. He wants her to be on his side again. But he doesn’t have all the information, he believes that his mother has said something to Alina to turn her against him but he doesn’t know exactly what she said. He gets little clues once he is reunited with Alina, he knows that Alina knows his name is fake, that she has told her about the stag, seeing as Alina also keeps asking about the fold he has probably guessed that Baghra told her about his plans to weaponize it. When talking to M*l he discovers that M*l knows he is the Black Heretic and likely assumes that Baghra told him. But it isn’t until he goes to talk to Alina that he realises the mistake he’s made, that Baghra actually told Alina that he is the Black Heretic and that is why she ran. As their conversation continues and Alina says that line about how they could have had this, they could have had it all, he realises that she didn’t run because she wanted to be with M*l, she didn’t kiss him because she wanted to distract him and bring his guard down. She ran because she found out he had created the fold. When she puts his hand on her collarbone and says ‘instead you made me this’ he realises just how big of a mistake he’s made and that he really has lost her now. By putting the collar on her he proved his mother right and so now Alina doesn’t trust him at all. He became the villain to her and he can’t take it back. So instead he commits to it and instead he focusses on his original mission of protect the grisha at all cost and he once again distances himself from her. 
Ok so that’s it for part one of ‘What Was Aleksander Thinking?’ I’m not sure how many of these I’m going to make or even what scene or event I am going to do next, but they are fun to do and it gives me a reason to keep rewatching scenes, so I will probably be posting another one fairly soon. If there are any scenes in particular anyone wants me to write about feel free to let me know.  
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greensaplinggrace · 3 years
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What Is There To Celebrate About the Darkling? (Part 3)
1 2 3 4
His shadow powers are so badass, literally how could you not celebrate him for that alone?
Villain wears black trope REPRESENT.
The way his cloak billows dramatically in episode one before Alina enters the Fold.
The way his cloak billows in general.
His little face in the background after his and Alina’s first kiss as he tries to compose himself.
Him knocking on the table in episode five when he gets back to see Alina. My mans was so hopeful that he’d finally get to third base with the love of his life. RIP.
Large hands. Very tall.
The way he literally cannot tear his eyes away from Alina during the entire scene where Alina dresses him and they have their first kiss.
The softest looking hair I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe Alina got to run her hands through it and she still left him.
How he urgently looks around for Alina outside after she leaves in episode five, right before he confronts Baghra. He’s very frantic and panting and clearly concerned and not being subtle at all about his emotions.
Also the way he walks when he’s leaving Baghra, with his hands stuck out to the side and his fists clenching and unclenching as his form grows smaller in the distance. He looks like a tiny penguin waddling away.
Son’s evil dastardly bastard plans once again thwarted by own mother. Can you imagine living for an eternity and never being free of your parents? Fuck all that other shit, no wonder he went darkside.
“She is all that matters now, not me. She is the future. She is the one-” SIMP
His little smile before he goes to answer the door after they kiss. The way his hold on her lingers as if he can’t bear to part with her. Forehead touch. They are giggling.
The way he runs back in for another kiss. This man is so gone it’s not even funny.
He calls her to him in the books and she spends the entire time agonizing over how upset he’s going to be. The man literally just wants to ask her about her day.
Defends Alina to Baghra after he witnesses her getting harassed. Defends himself to Baghra after she treats him like shit. Love that for him.
“I made something.” / “Let me make a mark on this world before I leave it.” / “It’s my own name I’m afraid of forgetting.” / “He understood then. The Grisha lived as shadows, passing over the surface of the world, touching nothing. Forced to change their shapes and hide in corners, driven by fear as shadows were driven by the sun. No safe place. No haven.” / “There will be, he promised the darkness, words written upon his heart. I will make one.”
Him offering Alina his kvas. They drink from the same glass.
Sasha “no thoughts head empty only Alina” Morozova having to look away and calm himself when Alina licks her lips after drinking his kvas.
Literally his entire confrontation with Kaz. Absolutely hilarious. Local centuries old Black Heretic gets bested by a teenager with one (1) flash grenade.
“I never intended for it to be the blight it’s become.” - Genuine regret. A+++.
Asks Mal what Alina’s favorite flowers are and then gives them to her. Was it manipulative? Yes. Was it awful? Absolutely. Was it the funniest and smoothest shit I’ve ever seen? 100%. I laughed my ass off.
Alina: *enters the fete dressed in the black kefta* *Darkling.exe has stopped working*
This man takes one look at her lack of guards and goes: what’s more important than how beautiful the wifey looks? her safety. *protective bf mode initiated*
He admires how pretty he appears in the mirror of his room with absolutely zero shame and 100% pride. We stan a vain icon in this house💕. Also the mirror is in front of the bed?!?! 👀👀👀
His knife ring.
“You looked like you needed saving,” as fire plays across his features and he looks at Alina with an expression that makes my soul want to splinter into pieces. The implications, the pain.
Will display his complete and utter adoration for Alina in front of the entire Court including the King and Queen despite the fact that that is the worst thing he could possibly do in the political environment.
“No ordinary tracker. No ordinary girl. Orphans of Keramzin reunited. AdOrAbLe.” - How do you say you have issues without saying you have issues?
The way he eclipses Alina when he’s stepping down from the dais. The inherent romantic symbolism of the eclipse and what that means for him.
Him getting excited about the stag to the point where he’s eagerly rummaging through the maps on his table and urgently asking Mal tons of questions.
The five second delay in his thoughts as he processes that Mal isn’t cooperating. Poor guy really thought that everything was finally coming up Sasha for once.
He constantly uplifts Alina after Baghra’s emotional abuse. He constantly helps her with her self esteem and reassures her that she’s doing well and that she just needs more time.
“Yeah I don’t know what Baghra’s summoning ability is,” he said, like a liar.
Even after Baghra suggests that Alina left he doesn’t believe it. He has to hear it from Kaz after searching for ages before he finally begins to believe it.
“You smuggle Grisha out of MY PALACE!”
Titty grab during the kiss scene.
He lifts her up onto the table!!
Local whipped dark overlord gets excited that Fedyor has found Alina and has to suffer through the embarrassment of acting like a lovesick fool when he learns it’s just about Nina.
His relationship with Nikolai.
The fact that Alina’s scarf blows past him before they even meet.
The way he nods with such an understanding expression when the Conductor is lying his ass off as if he sympathizes with everything the other man is saying and isn’t secretly planning his elaborate murder.
Puppy dog eyes all the time.
Every time his smile is forced and ingenuine and he looks like he’s about to stab someone.
Every time his smile is genuine and he looks super soft and loving.
“You have no chance, ShAdoW mAn.” Literally how is he ever going to recover from this.
His hands motions when he summons. I just think they’re neat.
He kills the Conductor. Hated that guy. And he looked sexy as fuck doing it.
He hates the Druskelle, he hates the Ravkan monarchy. I can relate.
He’s NOT a bootlicker, unlike some.
Dad mode gets activated when David raises his hand. Aleksander just goes along with it like an exasperated father.
Ben Barnes nose scronch.
He begs for Luda’s life.
“Merzost feeds on us. I forbid it!” two seconds later *frantic rummaging through notes on the merzost* *reading the Forbidden Knowledge™ without any hesitation* *Immediate Disaster Occurs*
“Mom look what I made!” “Your art is atrocious and you’re no longer my son.”
His history was written by the victors. The tale of the Black Heretic is straight up propaganda by the corrupt monarchy.
Immortal old man caught in a young adult love triangle: I read your letters. Malyen “what the fuck is happening on this here day” Oretsev: ??!?!?!!! who even are you??
Aleksander admitting he needs Alina.
Darklina hand holds.
He did not have to make that episode eight hand-hold on the skiff so sensual but he did it anyways.
The way he hides under his cloak like a turtle when Jesper shoots at him.
He looks so awkward and isolated at the fete surrounded by all of those colorful nobles.
He’s always ready to murder a bitch and honestly I respect that.
Would kill for his gf.
That entire scene where he kisses Alina in the snow in the books like the most awkward motherfucker and then goes “wtf just happened?! Darkling out” before fleeing the scene of the Emotion.
He’s eternally confused by his feelings for Alina and it’s hilarious.
“Looking for trouble, and if I cannot find it I will create it.”
He’s basically just a moth attracted to a fatal light. RIP.
The way he throws open double doors like a man on a mission.
“Follow.”
He’s utterly precious and I would die for him. 🖤
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cozy-possum · 3 years
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Shadow and Bone AU where the Darkling finds Alina when she’s a child; he adopts her, brings her to the little palace, kicking and screaming and trying her best to attack anyone that lets her get too close to the door. She screams for Mal at night. He’s not sure what Mal is, but he hates the way his chest aches when he hears Alina sob when she thinks the General is asleep. He has David search and bring back an equally scrappy young orphan boy, Alina refuses to let go of his hand even when the General prise their hands apart she snarls at him and light fizzles on her fingertips.
Feydor laughs the entire time he tells Alina and Mal tales of his training and Ivan howls with laughter after dinner, when Alina firmly assures both of them she’ll outrank them after her first session. Alina likes them the best and always grins when they’re her guards, the advise her to avoid the library, making comments about how it’s not for the likes of her. The General has to fight even harder against Alina’s love for knowledge than her love of Mal.
Genya doesn’t say much, just watches wide eyed from behind the doorway, Alina always invites her to read, she only agrees when Mal’s gone. Mal talks with David and they play often, Mal ducking and weaving between the towering machines the fabrikator’s use. Alina connects this to Genya’s visits and she loudly declares a field trip the next time they’re reading together, Feydor and Ivan dutifully follow, coraling an suddenly terrified Genya towards the fabrikator’s workshops, as if Alina’s hand wasn’t enough of a steel trap. Mal almost immediately pulls Alina away, David hovering next to the door. he and Genya look up and back to the floor fifteen times until Feydor speaks for Genya asking about things for tailors, that the queens tailor was looking for something, that Genya could deliver it. David leaps at this, pulling Genya by her hand and almost shoving various things he’s been working on into her arms. Genya’s never been given a gift before.
Baghra is delighted to have Alina train with her, she happily lets Mal, Genya and David come along, if they all learn anything it’s that the General who’s taken them in hated training more than them, and got bad marks in ‘helping others’ any attempts to tease the General leaves him scowling more than normal.
As it happens, with every precious thing in the General’s life, it is taken from him, not by an army, or an ambush, but by a group from Ketterdam, a travelling circus, a team of thieves, they’ve heard he keeps jewels in the palace and they want them. What they get is a child like them who can spill the very sun from her fingers, a boy who’s never gotten the concept of wait into his head, another boy who takes one look at the smoke bombs and grins like he’s been given a gift, and the girl who watches their faces before twisting her features into their own for a second.
They sneak out to the festival together, they have fun, they enjoy playing, until it’s slightly too dark, until the forest looms a little too close and the palace is a little too far to run to. Until the kids that brought them out grin a little too intensely, until one grabs Alina’s arm and she knows what this means, Mal does too. David’s arm breaks when he tries to push Genya away, Genya scream until she just sobs when one of them pins her down and laughs. 
When the black falls over everything, when there’s no concept of themselves beyond their own thoughts, when they can’t see their own movements only then does Alina call out, tears on her face as she curls around her friends, reaching out to the dark hulking creature that folds itself over onto them.
“папа“ The darkness reaches back cradling her and comforting her until Ivan and Feydor arrive.
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serpenteve · 3 years
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What’s so fucked up about this whole “power is evil”BS is that Alina being Grisha gives her no political or economic power. Yes,she becomes a saint but most people either want her dead or marry her or both.If she wasn’t in Ravka she would have probably been killed or experimented on or sold into slavery.There’s no scenario where this goes well with “power makes you evil” because up till recently Alina was surprising her power at gut cost of her own health and again Grisha are not the ruling class for her to have actual power so the fact that she has to loose something that’s fundamental part of her,that belong only to her and makes her happy so B*rdugo’s shit game can work is really gross. Then again she “warned”the readers back in S&S that there’s no way M*l can take off with Alina plus the whole Grisha can’t have normal lives. Too bad readers thought it means growth for Alina and accepting who she is. 🙄
Yup, I'm still salty about this.
I can't even think of a single "evil" thing Alina did as a result of the amplifiers. Like, what? Sass Baghra? Rip a whole in the ceiling? Sacrifice herself to kill the Darkling? Hell, even at the moment that it could have been the *most* effective when she needs Mal as an amplifier, it's Mal and shoves the knife into himself with Alina's hand around it. I specifically remember the text saying something like "I could never tell if it was Mal or my own greed that did" and I was like PFFFFFFFFT SURE JAN ☠️
The narrative is *so* scared of letting Alina be just a smidge morally complex. It constantly panics that if Alina changes her moral alignment, she's immediately casting her lot in with the Darkling and is instantly irredeemable because of it. There's no nuance.
The closest she comes is when she kills all those people on the skiff at the end of Shadow & Bone and even that seems like a writing accident looking back considering how little relevance it has on the plot and on Alina's character.
Alina's Grisha powers make her a target in a larger world where being Grisha outside of the Second Army, outside of Ravka, is essentially a death sentence. Even within Ravka, Grisha have no social role other than as slightly more valuable canon fodder. So what's the moral message here? Grisha power in particular corrupts? Considering Nikolai and the Apparat get away with their power-hungry shenanigans, you could argue that. Is it that a marginalized group should "know their place" and never dare to ask for more? Is it that the Grisha should have been perfectly content to be the King's lapdogs and wanting a better life, a normal life, was "greedy"?
🤷🏽‍♀️
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rhaenyratargeryn · 3 years
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darklina - reincarnation au
FILE UNDER SHIT I’LL NEVER FINISH-- but basically, modern reincarnation au where Alina and Aleksander are both photography majors, Alina is known for her bright and cheery photos and Aleksander for his moody chiaroscuro techniques. A photo contest commences. Second chances happen. Aleksander totes knows he is in a reincarnation au. Etc etc.
—Prologue—
Alina Starkova is born again, the sun shining against a cloudless blue sky. She would never meet the young woman with eyes like her own, or her father who had gifted her a name after his own beloved mother. They would both die tragically in a car crash when Alina is two years old.
She is placed in the foster system. She grows up. The sun still glimmers overhead, but in her it reflects a little dimmer. A little softer. She tries not to shine too much, lest some family decide to take her away from her dearest friend. She holds Mal’s hand and they swear silently each time a couple comes to visit that they will not be separated.
--
Aleksander Morosov is born again in the dead of night some years prior, the wind of a blizzard howling passed the windows, wailing in place of the babe that is far too quiet. He will never know his father because his mother does not in truth know him either. Baghra holds him to her breast, eyes fierce and determined. They won’t take him from her. Even if she is young, and alone and homeless. They won’t take him from her. She will kill. She will maim. She will do anything to keep him safe.
He grows up, constantly moving from place to place, name to name, dodging social workers who with well-meaning tenacity seek to steal him away. In the dark of an old motel room, shadows play across the bare walls. He whispers his name to the darkness, knowing it will keep the secret.
--
They both find solace in art, in the preservation of things that would otherwise be lost in the ever falling moments of time. Alina tells herself she takes photos of the things she wishes to remember, Aleksander believes he takes photos of the things he wishes to keep. In a way, they are the same thing, in a way, they are very different. And when they meet, Aleksander coming out from the darkroom’s revolving door and Alina heading in, they feel an inexplicable and immediate connection as they pass each other by. One into the light and one into the dark.
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jessamine--lovelace · 3 years
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i have nowhere else to put these so here. grishaverse au where the darkling is a woman and Alina is a closeted lesbian
they’re all queer idc
edit: this is zoyalina btw even if it doesn't seem so from the beginning
aleksandra morozova was raised amongst so much misoginy and prejudice against grisha that she wanted to gain power and make a good life for everyone like her clearly she got lost along the way lol
anyway. Alina and mal are still bffs gay lesbian alliance
mal has a comp het crush on alina and Alina on him, they get over it quickly tho
Alina is taken to the little palace, she gets an immediate crush on the darkling clearly she thinks Zoya is hot, but just admires from afar bc she s so mean and cold
the darkling is even hotter as a woman u can't change my mind
everything goes mostly like canon, the darkling seduces alina and alina is all about worshipping this powerful woman who wants to give her power. she helps alina realise she likes women, manipulates her in the process, makes her think that the darkling is the only one who could offer her security and other bullshit
the night that baghra tells alina the truth about the darkling’s plan, zoya is waiting alina at her door because she wants to confront her about how she fall out of the darkling’s good grace because of her idk. and baghra finds them both in alina’s rooms so she makes both of them leave, zoya helping alina to get lost in the country  baghra makes up a lie about how zoya went to visit her family/is in a mission so no one suspects zoya is a “traitor” except the darkling and genya who know the truth
mal is still looking for alina but he doesn't know Zoya is with her so it's a big surprise when he finds them both huddled up in a big coat together, freezing their asses off, zoya bitching about how alina better be grateful that she s helping to save her glowstick ass
Zoya calls mal alina s boyfriend exactly once before both mal and alina strongly let her know their disgust to that idea 
so yeah Zoya is a bit weirded out bc they are so close to each other and yet they're not together??? but she is kinda starting to get along with alina and maybe she s not so bad, and just maybe she starts to like her 
they find the stag blabla Zoya is taken back to the little palace while Alina and mal are taken to expand the fold or whatever the darkling has in mind
alina and mal escape and run off as in canon, except they pose as siblings in novyi zem. Mal finds a cute boy there and develops a crush but he s too devoted to keeping alina safe to risk getting into any relationship
Alina doesn't agree and makes him go on a date with the dude before everything goes to shit
the darkling comes back, takes them, Nikolai happens etc.
as soon as Nikolai gets them back in ravka, he tries to woo alina and propose to her like in canon. she s not really out yet tho she s not ready for it, not even Mal knows yet even if he suspects something from their time spend with zoya and the looks alina gave her, and the hurt look she has whenever the darkling is mentioned/she explains what the deal is with her evil plan, but he lets her take her time
Nikolai is all about flirting to the sun summoner and she s nice about it, polite, but clearly trying to get away because she s lowkey uncomfortable. declines his marriage proposal, and nikolai thinks it's because of Mal but he s wrong. mal tries to have a talk with alina about this, but alina panicks and says “he seems like your type, not mine” and mal is lost like ?? he s a prince?? and probably straight?? and he asked YOU to marry him?? 
and alina realises she is tired to keep this up, so she tells mal about her liking women. mal hugs her and she confesses that the darkling helped her come to terms with it in a way, and it messed with her and she feels shame that she fell for the manipulation
so when they're on the way to os alta, and Nikolai kisses her for the public, she just says "I like girls please never do that again or I'll use the cut on your face." as soon as they are alone in their couch and Nikolai is stunned and apologises to her a lot of shit starts to make sense for nikolai now lol
so after that tiny incident, Nikolai knows it's pointless to pursue Alina so he only keeps up his show for the public and becomes really good friends with alina and mal
nikolai would still very much like that political alliance and he sometimes jokingly tells alina “you’ll have lots of women at your feet if you become queen. aren’t you interested in that?” and alina is just done with his ass
clearly nikolai and mal hook up at some point and it's kinda awkward afterwards bc they both have a bit of a crush on each other but don't want to admit it Alina is amused
so they go back to os alta, and Zoya is there!!! and Alina literally hugs her bc she was so worried and she missed her and "I shouldn't have let her take you away, I'm so sorry I left you behind zoya" and Zoya is so surprised she doesn't respond to the hug for a while before crushing alina in a tight embrace without saying anything
everyone is a bit shocked bc Zoya is hugging Alina?? since when are they getting along??? what is happening???
they have a talk when they are alone and zoya tells alina about her aunt and how she doesn’t blame alina for what the darkling did, alina tells her about the second amplifier. they hug again and maybe some tears are spilled but that’s between them and no one has to know
they prepare and train and alina and zoya get closer and closer. mal, being the captain to alina’s guard, kinda has to stick around with her when she meets with nikolai and it’s awkward and their conversations aren’t as lively as they used to be and it lowkey breaks alina’s heart a bit and annoys her until she explodes one day when she s alone with a miserable looking mal waiting for nikolai to appear at a meeting “saints mal just talk to him”
and mal being mal just straightens his back and ignores her like a stubborn idiot which infuriates alina she totally tries to annoy him by reflecting some light into his eyes 
“i know something happened on the road between you two. you’re both acting weird. would it kill you to talk to him?” but mal doesn’t get to answer because nikolai is walking in talking about some plan, totally oblivious to what is happening. Later, after the meeting is over, alina gets nikolai alone and tries to talk to him, but he s just as stubborn as mal and tells her that there’s nothing to be done bc mal avoids him everytime he manages to get near him and got the message “my ego can’t handle another rejection”
therefore alina finds herself in need to fix this thing between nikolai and mal because the tension is getting on her nerves and she is stressed enough as it is with everything going on
little side note, the darkling still comes to her in visions and she thinks she is going insane before she starts talking to zoya about it and zoya takes in the habit of spending the evenings in alina’s rooms, both of them searching in books for more information about the amplifiers or sometimes talking. zoya isn’t soft and she never will be, but alina likes that. a lot. ANYWAY zoya is the one to come up with the plan to somehow lock nikolai and mal in a room together. they get tolya and tamar in on it too. 
alina makes sure she sets up a meeting with nikolai under a false pretext when mal is on watch. alina and mal arrive first and as soon as nikolai enters she gets up “oh saints i left the book in my rooms” and leaves before mal or nikolai can react. and then one of the twins closes the door and they can hear it being locked and then alina’s voice from the other side “we’ll let you out after you have a talk. the tension between you two is getting insufferable” 
they talk and sort things out a bit. everything gets less stressful for everyone
one night the darkling comes to alina, and zoya is about to leave. alina freezes because it’s not the darkling she sees, but zoya “she’ll never want you. i am the only one who can love you, who understands you.” it’s the darkling’s voice and alina can’t move, can’t breathe, just stares at the darkling as she takes back her own face. zoya can only see alina’s face getting paler and her expression more terrified even as the darkling disappears 
zoya tries to shake alina, calls out her name, but alina just looks at her with such a sad expression that it unsettles zoya even more. “she’s right” alina whispers, barely audible, over and over again 
“what did she tell you?! alina you can’t listen to her! she lies. she manipulates everyone, you can’t believe anything she says. it’s not the truth. anything she tells you”
alina shakes her head “you’ll never- i’m such an idiot.” tears are welling up in her eyes 
“i’ll never what?” “want me” 
and zoya freezes, just staring at alina, shocked. alina takes it wrong, she tries to put space between them, tries to run in embarassment, but zoya catches her hands, holds her still and looks into alina’s eyes. alina can’t look her in the eyes, can’t seem to find it in her to do it. “you really are an idiot if you think i would just spend my evenings and risk my ass for just any friend” and then she cups alina’s face in her palms and she kisses her. 
alina is so surprised she doesn’t respond to the kiss for a second, but then she kisses zoya back and they both just melt into each other. zoya feels a tear run down alina’s face, into her cheek and breaks away with a “don’t go soft on me now starkov” and alina laughs through her tears and goes to kiss zoya again just because she can.
wow this turned out way longer than i intended, but damn did it give me serotonin coming up with it. i just want to say that, if the darkling was a woman, the character would be more hated, but sexier and i’m alright with that. also everyone is queer because i said so. i have more zoyalina headcanons that i’ll probably post bc now i’m investedTM so come and shout about them to me i won’t mind
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sanktyastag · 3 years
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I know people have already talked about the changes Mal has gone through in his show adaptation vs his book self - most of which are changes people generally agree are for the better, since they’re sanding off some of his less endearing character traits. But something that baffles me are the changes that they didn’t make as a consequence to the changes that they did. And by that, I mean, some key pieces of dialogue.
And even more specifically, this dialogue choice:
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And to explain why this line of dialogue doesn’t make sense to me in the show, I need to talk a bit about the original book context for it:
In the books, Alina has been harboring a one-sided crush on Mal for years. And I don’t mean she thought it was a one-sided crush, when really they were both mutually pining for each other. I mean that Mal genuinely didn’t have romantic feelings for her in the beginning. Or at least, not ones he acknowledged:
“Wrong. I was planning how to sneak into the Grisha pavilion and snag myself a cute Corporalnik.”
Mal laughed. I hesitated by the door. This was the hardest part of being around him - other than the way he made my heart do clumsy acrobatics. I hated hiding how much the stupid things he did hurt me, but I hated the idea of him finding out even more.
This is something Alina battles with herself over for most of the beginning of SaB, before she’s taken to the Little Palace. She had a close relationship with Mal in Keramzin, when they were both just two kids in an orphanage. And then they join the second army and Mal is suddenly a popular, capable, respected soldier in people’s eyes, while Alina is stuck battling her own resentment at her inability to fit in, as well as some pretty gnarly feelings of inadequacy.
Feelings of inadequacy that are a reoccuring issue with her - in the beginning, she describes herself as a mapmaker “and not even a very good mapmaker”. With Botkin, she’s unable to keep up with the other Grisha in physical combat, and with Baghra, she’s unable to master her Grisha abilities. It can be summed up nice and tidy in the Siege and Storm quote, when Alina isn’t using her powers because she’s in hiding with Mal:
I was so frail and clumsy that I’d barely managed to keep my job packing jurda at one of the fieldhouses. It brought in mere pennies, but I’d insisted on working, on trying to help. I felt like I had when we were kids: capable Mal and useless Alina.
So at the beginning of the books, Mal gets the chance to gain acceptance and respect from his peers, and Alina is stuck feeling inadequate and ineffectual. The natural progression of this type of rift is that they would begin to grow apart: Mal would make friends and find a sense of belonging, and Alina would remain alienated and isolated from her peers. Which is exactly what happens. It takes less than a year for them to change from being inseparable, to a normal, casual friendship:
“So what are you doing here?” When we’d first started our military service a year ago, Mal had visited me almost every night. But he hadn’t come by in months.
And that’s pretty much how their relationship stays until they’re reunited after the Little Palace. It comes to a head with Mal talking about his jealousy over seeing her with the Darkling, and with Alina admitting she’d been happier at the Little Palace than she’d been in a long time, largely because she’d finally found what Mal had found in the second army: A place she fits in and feels accepted:
“That night at the palace when I saw you on that stage with him, you looked so happy. Like you belonged with him. I can’t get that picture out of my head.”
“I was happy,” I admitted. “In that moment, I was happy. I’m not like you, Mal. I never really fit in the way that you did. I never really belonged anywhere.”
“You belonged with me,” he said quietly.
“No, Mal. Not really. Not for a long time.”
And this is where that “I’m sorry it took me so long to see you” line drops. It’s specifically about Mal acknowledging that he started taking Alina for granted when they joined the second army, because he was so caught up in finally feeling like he could belong somewhere, and feel pride in himself, he stopped prioritizing their friendship. Which is a very understandable thing!
The books don’t really go into this, but at this point in the story, it feels like something Alina might finally be in a place where she could understand how he felt: living a life where you’re taught to be grateful for other people’s charity, and that you’re a burden on other people, and then suddenly being put in a position where your existence isn’t just tolerated, but celebrated and respected, is a very validating and heady experience. It’s easy to get caught up in a new life where you don’t have to think about how ashamed you felt in your past, and can instead be the person you’ve always wanted to be. It’s a shared experience of theirs that I feel like would have been worth exploring. What actually happens is that they seem to play resentment tag around each other throughout the trilogy, with one of them getting the chance to be respected amongst their peers, and the other feeling inadequate and resentful about it, and then something coming along that flips the dynamic, over and over again.
But I digress - so here is the context of that line in the book:
“I missed you every hour. And you know what the worst part was? It caught me completely by surprise. I’d catch myself walking around to find you, not for any reason, just out of habit, because I’d seen something that I wanted to tell you about or because I wanted to hear your voice. And then I’d realize that you weren’t there anymore, and every time, every single time, it was like having the wind knocked out of me. I’ve risked my life for you. I’ve walked half the length of Ravka for you, and I’d do it again and again and again just to be with you, just to starve with you and freeze with you and hear you complain about hard cheese every day. So don’t tell me we don’t belong together,” he said fiercely. He was very close now, and my heart was suddenly hammering in my chest. “I’m sorry it took me so long to see you, Alina. But I see you now.”
Now, when we look at the show... none of this is really relevant? We never get the sense that their relationship has changed from what they were like in Keramzin. Mal doesn’t grow distant from Alina - it’s almost the opposite. The only reason they aren’t together at the beginning of the show is because their units weren’t together. It’s not Mal creating distance, it’s their job. And the second that he gets the chance, he seeks her out. In the flashback, as well, we see him immediately look for her, and he goes so far as to hit someone with a glass, because he was told the guy said something shitty to Alina, just so he can be with her in a cell.
Similarly, instead of them sitting at separate tables in the mess hall, Alina simply doesn’t get served at all (because Racism), and so Mal goes out of his way to steal food from a Grisha tent, just to cheer her up.
He’s present, attentive, loyal, and completely in tune with her emotionally. He is, I would argue, also completely in love with her (which is something I think they flipped from the books - I get the impression that Mal’s been in love with Alina for a long time, and Alina is the one who hasn’t quite made the leap from “best friend” to “romantic interest” in the show, although that’s obviously a personal interpretation). So what, exactly, is he apologizing for in that scene? What about her didn’t he see?
The only way I can try to make sense of the scene now, is that he’s apologizing for perhaps not realizing she was a Grisha? Or maybe for inadvertently “making” her repress her powers for all this time, because she didn’t want to be separated from him? And that works, I guess, except that the lead up to this apology is Alina saying that Mal looked at her “with fear in his eyes” back in Kribirsk, after he finds out she’s Grisha. And that’s, again, a book thing. In the books, Mal apologizes for just standing there as she’s taken away, for not chasing after her. In the show... he does chase after her. He does literally everything in his power to go to her. There’s no pause, there’s no moment of doubt. The last time she sees him, he is afraid for her, as she’s being taken away, but he is not, for one moment, afraid of her. So I just... don’t get where that line comes from.
It seems weird to completely erase all of Mal’s flaws from the books, but then keep the dialogue where he apologizes for how those flaws have negatively impacted their relationship, without recontextualizing the apology into an appropriately impactful moment.
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sirenprincess15 · 3 years
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Please Don't Leave Me Chapter 8
Title: Please Don’t Leave Me
Author: SirenPrincess
Description: What if Aleksander hadn’t answered the door when Ivan interrupted the war room kissing? What if Aleksander and Alina had a bit more time to get to know each other before Baghra told her his true identity? Alina is the only one who can comfort Aleksander through his nightmares. Will she leave once she knows who he is?
This story is based on the show version and features a soft on the inside, hard on the outside Aleksander with an emphasis on emotional hurt/comfort and angst. If you are looking for lots of hurt!Aleksander thoughts, then this story is for you. Mal exists but pretty much solely to cause Aleksander some angst. Don’t worry. It will be a Darklina ending.
Chapter 1 is a missing scene at the end of Ep 4, and Chapter 2 takes place alongside Ep 5 and then diverges from canon there.
Pairings: Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov, bits of Ivan/Fedyor
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Grisha are oppressed in this universe, and I don’t shy away from showing the horrors of that. There may eventually be mentions of canon-typical torture (Fjerdan pyres), death of family members, and cruelty to Grisha children. It’s not the focus, but that backdrop is definitely there and comes up as characters discuss their past.
In this chapter: Aleksander deals with the intruder and learns of his plans.
Chapter 8
“Have you interrogated him with a heartrender yet?” Aleksander asked Zoya as they strode through the halls with Ivan to the dungeon where the intruder was being held.
She shook her head. “I came straight to you. I thought you’d want to be alerted right away.”
He nodded. He definitely appreciated the head’s up to further tighten Alina’s security immediately. He was furious and terrified that someone was trying to break into his safe place, but there would be time for those emotions once he had a better idea of the intruders intent. He didn’t dare let himself dwell on such thoughts in the company of others.
Out loud he said, “Must I do everything myself?” The slight curl of his lips betrayed that he was secretly looking forward to it. There was something to be said for the feeling of control using his power gave him.
A muscular man with light brown hair was shackled to the wall. He tensed the moment they entered the room. It was obvious he was terrified of General Kirigan’s power. Good.
“You were caught trying to break into the Little Palace.” Aleksander did not give the man time to respond. He raised his hand, called the shadow, and snapped his finger to begin choking the man. Yes, that did feel good.
He released his hand, and the man choked and gasped for air. “Speak,” Aleksander commanded. “I’m really not in the mood today to be messed with.”
“I was just …”
“Wrong answer!” It truly didn’t matter what the man was going to say next. Aleksander did not need Ivan to tell him it was a lie. He brought his fingers back to his palm and counted to five. “Now, shall we try that again?”
“What do you want me to say?” The words were hard to make out from the swelling in the man’s throat.
“The truth.”
“I was commissioned to check on a Grisha in the palace. She’s my client’s daughter, just a check that she’s all right. No harm done.”
“I see. And her name is?”
The man was a terrible liar. There was too long a pause for an answer. Aleksander summoned the shadows to choke him again as he exchanged a knowing look with Ivan. Why did idiots always think they could get away with lying to him?
“Shall I assume you were sent here to kill the Sun Summoner?”
The man shook his head quickly. “I’m just a scout. My orders were to find a way in.”
Aleksander looked to Ivan, who shrugged. “It’s hard to be sure after you’ve choked him like that, but, yeah, probably.”
“Why?”
“You won’t like that answer.”
“So an assassin can get in to find the Sun Summoner?”
The man grimaced and shrugged.
“Orders from whom?”
The man shook his head. “You will kill me anyway. I’m not betraying anyone.”
“Really?” Aleksander snapped his fingers back to his palm again. Truly, he could enjoy playing this little game all day. It made him feel powerful, like he wasn’t the one who was being hunted. “I’m going to count to three, and if there isn’t a truthful name passing your lips by then, I’m going to let the shadows work longer this time.”
It took a few rounds, but he got his information. “Zlatan, it was Zlatan. Please, he just commissioned me to spy and find out where she goes, where she sleeps, where she eats.”
“How many more of you are there?”
“I don’t think anyone else is here yet.”
“How were you going to provide your report?”
The man shook his head again, but it only took Aleksander even raising his hand to get him talking this time. “Rendezvous in the Os Alta market. A man named Dmitry. He’s in Zlatan’s pocket.”
It took both hands to call the shadows to make the Cut. There was something satisfying about watching the man’s head roll, until it reminded him of his nightmare and what they had done to Alina. “Send men to find this Dmitry. And make sure Zlatan gets this head. Fancy black box, big bow.” He would not rest until that man was dead.
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