#bad films

[moonbasetycho]

#mst3k #1004 #scfi channel #1990s #2000s #bad films #future war

[the-all-seeing-salmon]

What films do you unironically enjoy that are renowned as bad?

Every time I watch Wild Wild West (1999) or The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) I have a good time and I will not apologise for this.

#bad films #wild wild west #the league of extraordinary gentlemen #films #movies #bad movies #16% and 17% respectively on RT... #...yeah that seems fair

[ygdrasilly]

so i just finished watching the 2010 last airbender film for the first time in about a decade (i don't know why i did it to myself, either. i thought it'd be funny. jokes on me ig) and it's even worse than i remembered. like, so bad i had to take a break half way through to go do something else bc it was somehow making my fatigue worse. and then i just had to stop last night bc it was exhausting

anyway here are some out of context screenshots that show just how terrible this film is just in case everyone has forgotten or has never seen this thing. i suffered for everyone so no one ever has to watch this flaming pile of crap

love how this looks like they just took a video of poundland sokka and katara, shoved it into photoshop, and accidentally put the outer glow effect on them. truly amazing

look how they massacred my boys

believe it or not, temu iroh (pronounced ee-roh in this shitshow) is the most tolerable character of this circus

she was only just asking for aang's name after they reached the air temple. katara what is wrong with you

this is how i feel about the whole film, budget zhao

golly gee i wonder where the inspiration for this shot came from. surely not a far superior film

fuck you m night shyamalan i hope you step on a uk plug for this

#*my wittering #as i said to erin on discord: im the clown in my own circus for this #avatar #avatar the last airbender #long post #bad films #bad movies #the last airbender #atla #alfryco

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

One of my favorite so-bad-it’s-good movies is “In the Name of the King 2: Two Worlds”, solely because you can tell where the production blew the budget.

Just to give you all an idea, Dolph Lundgren is sent to the medieval era where he has to deal with dungeons and dragons type shit. The final battle, however, sends Dolph and the main villain back to the present day. So this swords-and-sorcery movie literally ends in a brawl in Dolph Lundgren’s living room. It’s absolutely hilarious, especially since the bad guy is still dressed as generic evil fantasy king.

#so bad it's good #movie rec list #movie recc #movie recommendation #uwe boll #dolph lundgren #in the name of the king #In the Name of the King 2: Two Worlds #dungeon siege #bad movies #bad films #unintentionally hilarious #unintentionally funny

[popculturebuffet]

Thomas And Friends Retrospective: Thomas and the Magic Railroad Theatrical Cut (Commission for Lachie V)

Hello all you happy people and i'ts back on the train gang for more Thomas the Tank Engine

For those of you just joining us, a recap: For the past year and a half or so, i've been covering the first five seasons of thomas the tank engine on and off for @lachievpoststhings, who comissioned these as a fan of the franchise to get an outsider's perspective and hopefully get less jokes about Henry being walled up for always and always. Your free to jump in here and i'll have a post of the restrospective so far soon after this review's finished.

The basics are one day the good Reverend Bawldry, a longtime railway enthusist, made a bedtime story for his son about trains with human faces, kept making more as the kid loved them, and eventually turned these stories into a series of succesful books. Decades later in the 80's, up and coming exec Brit Alcroft seeked to adapt these books to screen and using amazing modelwork, velvety narration from Ringo Starr, George Carlin, Micheal Angelis and more across both ponds, Thomas became a massive success. While his US airings needed a wraparound, it got one in the superb shinging time station, your standard "kids learn lessons in a place" show, except this one has a magical tiny george carlin named Mr Conductor who shows up to give advice and schemer

This glorious large ham cooks up halfbaked schemes, is distrusted by children, and makes every episode better just by existing.

So with this success Brit Alcroftt decided to take her big IP to where all big properties go: the big screen. Luckily for her Barry London, head of Paramount at the time, had a daughter who loved Thomas and greenlight the picture in 1995 with a deal inked by 1996 and a script on the way. Unluckily, sometime after London left the studio and the project was canned because new studio heads are vindictive bastards. See how Final Space was canned after a studio change and goofy movie was given NO advertising after the exec pushing for it left. Thankfully after a false start elsewhere for Alcroftt, she decided to self fiance, finding that the Isle of Mann offered tax breaks. Helping was that London landed at another studio, destination films, so with their major backing and the isle of man cut the film was good to go.

So with that the film got underway and as far as I can tell it was MOSTLY smooth apart from a mishap with a James model.Post.. was a diffrent beast. The film had drastic changes done to it after a test screening caused Execs to panic: they changed most of the voice cast since the voices for most of the main cast were seen as "too old" and the one for one of the big bads, Disel 10 "too scary". That'd be bad enough.. but then they decided to ax an ENTIRE CHARACTER, PT Boomer, who served as a human antagonist.

Shockingly the excutives doing a power meddle did nothing to actually salvage the film: it bombed at the box office, closed the door on any future thomas films and ended Britt Alcroft's time at her own company.

So that leaves us with some questions: Was the film THAT bad? Was the original cut, which we now have thanks to a blu ray specail edition in workprint form, any better? Was their any salvaging this mess or was it always a silly engine? and why was schemer left out?

While i'll never be able to figure out that last question, the rest I hope to answer by tackling both cuts in their own reviews. I'm tackinlg the theatrical first as while it's the second cut, ti's the one most people have seen and i'm not watching the work print till the review of the theatrical cut is finished as i'm judging it as most people watching it would: this is the version that's most complete, wildly avaliable and that most people have seen, so I want to view it on that merit, albeit with the understanding it was cut up quite a bit, so I am giving it a little leeway.

So join me under the cut for the maddening mysteries of the theatrical cut of thomas the tank engine. I warn you the film your about to hear about is nigh incomprehinsible, quite mad, and has alec baldwin acting like h'es taken all the drugs in the world. You've been warned. Let's begin.

So since i've already covered behind the scene's let's jump into the mishmash of scenes hastily cut together then horrifyingcally stitched back together by the studio. Because "Plot" is being more generous than this cut deserves.

So the film follows the fate of two worlds: the world of Shining Time Station and the world of Sodor where thomas and friends live, the two ends of Mr. Conductor's universe. What does that mean?

I think it's supposed to be metaphorical like saying my world.. but having a magical being say that and say that about two parallel worlds is just confusing. Did he create Sodor? Did whatever race the mr conductors are did? This is more confusing than a film about stupid train children should be.

This is also the film's approach to it's world building as a whole: just throw something in that's confusing and hard to parse, never fully explalin it and walk on to the next bit of insanity. I'm not asking for through, complex world building from a Thomas the Tank Engine film, i'm just asking for a world where any of the magic you set up makes any sense.

The two shows this comes from don't have this problem. There is weird shit in both universes.. but both universes are consitent. Sodor is a british island, exists in the 1920's, and has a massive railway ran by Sir Topham "The Fat Controller" hat. The trains all have faces and are wholly sentient and are still treated entirely as trains. That's.. it. It's just the 30's but with sentient trains. It takes getting used to, they cause tons of accidents and weird shit happens.. but it's simple.

Shining time has more magic and what not but it's still consistent: Mr C is a magical entity of some kind with a vast family, he lives in shining time but can travel the multiverse and visits sodor frequently, bringing back it's stories for the kids he mentors. There's also magical puppets in the jukebox. Neither thing is explained, but we really don't need one and how both Mr. C and the PUppets operate is consitent.

The film.. is as consistent as a Warner BRos Discovery exec. The film just sloppily stiches a bunch of magical concepts and cliches together , expects you to just accept it and move on. The problem is unlike thomas and shinging time, it piles so shit on that you have no choice but to ask questions. And yes im aware i'm not the film's target demo.. but the film's target demo, younger children.. still deserve some respect. Shining Time and Thomas never fell like they think the audience is morons and you should never treat children like idiots just to justify your sloppy plotting. And chidlren aside..adults still had to take their kids to this. 5 year olds can't buy movie tickets.. well they can but the theater has to be pretty fucking neglegent. The adults who were kind enough to take their kids to see this didn't deserve to have a confusing mess shoved on them.

Speaking of a confusing mess let's get back to the film. The Film has two major storylines across the two worlds which quickly overlap:

ON earth curious city kid Lily Stone, played by Maura Wilson, is sent to vist her grampy burnett, played by Peter Fonda who to his credit takes the roll seriously. Burnett has an assitant/sidekick/local orphan boy named Mutt who, given the two minutes i've seen of the workprint, marries her in that cut but here is just kinda.. there so Peter Fonda can explain his train backstory: he was once the conductor of Lady, a magical train that could cross betwen worlds and i'm just going to go ahead and get this started

Things the Film Just Wants you To Accept: 2

Lady was injured by Disel 10 , played by Neil crone. I'll point out the original actors when I do the workprint if you were curious. He's an evil Diesel who has a grappling claw and a confusing world domination plan. Burnett's spent his life trying to fix Lady with no luck.

Meanwhile on Sodor, Sir Hatt is going on vacay so he asked Mr. Conductor to go watch his stupid train children for him while he's away. We have a new Mr. C in this film I assume, as while the film never explains it the series did expalin it's swapping mr c's with Ringo Starr's versoin being the cousin of his succesor, the george carlin one. So I assume this is also a cousin as Mr. C also has one he also hands his hat off to. More on that towards the end and more on the ocusin in a bit. Point is new mr. c is played by Alec Baldwin.. and baldwin spends the whole film acting like he's tripping balls. Baldwin is hamming it up so hard trying to be a chldren's character he comes off like Mr. C took enoguh coke before comming to sodor that he dosen't come down for TWO DAYS. Baldwin mostly acts hammily, hyderactively and goofily. It dosen't work on it's own as it's way too over the top even for this film and trying way to hard. It is however a nice jolt of hilaroius nonsense in a film that's mostly confusing nonsense.

Anyways Mr C soon has a problem :his sparkle, his magic dust, is running out. And apparently if it runs out , the magic of sodor and shining time both dies with him. Or something.

Things the Film Just Wants you To Accept: 3

He dosen't notice at first, being late while Thomas and Friends deal with normal business: Thomas is just a tad late, and Gordon, the biggest engine, is being a pompus asshole about it. Gordon is also played by Crone, who adlibbed msot of his lines for both Diesel 10 and Gordon, to the point one line later in the film is just gordon lapsing into a rant about how clever he is, how smaller engines can neve rbe useful, and how he's the best. He did it, he broke Gordon down to his bare essentials.

The two are soon confronted by Disel 10 who someone passed the background check and unveils his plan: he's going to find and kill lady, which will destroy all the magic in sodor and some how make him god emperor of all trains.

Things the Film Just Wants you To Accept: 4

First he plans to kill all the trains and ambushes them at night. Mr C finds his magic isn't working which isn't good. His escape plan is as diabolical as it is horrifying: he's going to poor sugar in disel's gas tank.. by waving a bag of sugar at him

Things the Film just Wants You To Accept: 5

So Mr. C heads off on an epic quest to find his magic, facing off with goblins, a wall of hands, a bog of eternal stentch, chily down with the fire gang and the most dangerous foe of all, David Bowie's Crotch. And I just described Labyrinth because Mr. C's quest amounts to "Dick around looking for clues and get kidnapped by a train" and i'd rather be talking about Labyrinth again... so let's do. Having relistned to it thanks to my nephew putting it on a playlist while I was in the car, i"ve come to realize I was WAY too hard on chilli down. While the actual musical number hasn't aged great the actual music is a fucking banger, having a nice surreal feel, the best drug trip song that's ever drug trip songed. Good stuff.

So back to my neverending torment Mr. C has a nap/is barely concious after Disel nearly threw him off a bridge this time so he has a prophetic dream

Things the Film Just Wants You To Accept: 6

Yes apparently in this time Alec Baldwin is the Kwisatz Haderach

He sees a future where due to him being absent shining time has closed down. The kid are gone, Billy was replaced by a terrible actor, and Schemer is seemingly dead. Wait.. that all happened in the main timeline. How is he sure the interstellar jihad the end of shining time is something he can stop?

Well he isn't so he calls his cousin Mr C Junior for help. Sadly this dosen't mean we get Ringo Starr or George Carlin but instead Micheal E Rogers. While his agressive scottishness is charming, he can't save this character as Junior is just kinda annoying at best. He ALLGEDLY has an arc where he learns his lesson and becomes better.. but he's really just a dumbass who wastes all his uncle's dust and his own remaining dust. He's only here because SOMEONE has to bring lily to Sodor

So before we get to that, let's catch up on everyone else. Burnett's dog is apparently also injesting spike and thus makes sure LIly ends up at shining time and sees Junior briefly. She then gets settled in with grandpa bonds with Dodger, just kinda putters around and...

FATHER THE SLEEPER HAS AWAKENED okay so stupid train children next. For a Thomas the Tank Engine movie the engines.. really don't actually do much in the plot. It's something I didn't notice in the film itself as the cut tricks you into THINKING their doing more than they are, cutting to the engines every few scenes as thomas tries to find Mr Conductor and stop Disesel 10 and his two comedic minions I haven't mentiond till now , who Disel sends to find the magic railroad. They do. That's it.. that's all they've done all film.

So we instead get a bunch of scenes of Thomas saying he's going to do something then just.. I guess doing something. We get bits of James and Percy who were originally voiced by Micheal Angelis, but instead replaced to get younger voices.. and instead got voice actresses who didn't really try to make thems ound masculine, resulting in Gender Flip James and Percy. James in paticular sounds like a dikensian orphan. I will say Eddie Glenn does a really good job at thomas but he and Neil Crone are the only ones who really get their rolls right out of the voice cast. I don't doubt these va's are good nor judge them for this: they werne't given much to work with, with Crone given nothing to work with and simply improvising, and were likely given little time to prepare given the rushed production schedule for the recut.

The most Thom=as contributes is loosing a truck, that will be important later, and figuring out that Disel's after the buffers which somehow allow people to travel on the magic railroad.

Things This Film Just Wants you To Accept: I"m So Tired

He finds out too late but thanks to Junior who brought a child with him because fuck it, they find thomas' missing truck and thomas and Mara Wilson go back to reality. A bad model of Thomas the film expects us to think is anywhere near acceptable

Things This Film Just Wants You To Accept: Stupid Train Models are for Cattle and Loveplay.

We do get a clever solution to the lady thing.. even if we never really get Burnett's backstory as that was cut because reasons. Since they have Sodor coal Lily suggests using it and I like it: it's a symbol of lady being both of this world and sodor. It's kind of cool in af ilm tha'ts mostly just confusing.

So lady returns to sodor, though Mr. C still thinks he and other Mr C who was busy telling Sir Topham Hat to go fuck himself and nearly getting murdered, using the last of his magic to save james, are dying as they still need that sweet sweet smack. I mean sparkle.. which is magical smack so it's better.

Before they can fix the crisis though Disel 10 shows up and we get a hilaroiusly green screneed ifnal chase as Burnet taunts his nemisis the sentient train. The chase scene.. is hilarously, horribly modleed and fun to watch. lady naturally wins, Disel 10 is left in the sludge but apparently comes back, and it's a happy end as Mara Wilson mixes well atter and railroad shavings to somehow create magic dust.

Things This Film Just Wants You To Accept: LONG LIVE THE STUPID TRAIN CHILDREN

So Mr C pases the cap on to his nephew who decides after his near death experince to man up finishing his nonexistant character arc. Mara wilson and co return home, the day is saved and the film just sorta ends.

That's.. the theatrical cut of Thomas and the Magic Railroad and as you can tell I was not a fan. It's entertaining for the most part and delightfully insane but i't sincoherence makes it REALLY hard to enjoy a lot of the time. As a Thomas film Thomas is barely a facotr in the plot, and as a shining time station film only two characters returned

Only. Two. Characters. Returned. The new characters are all bland cyphers, likely due to the cut changing. They TRY, Mara Wilson may of done this for the vacation but like Sir Micheal Caine before her she'll still work hard for the paycheck, but ther'es just nothing to hold onto. This film is a mess and I only recommend it if you have some friends to riff with, as I did with @jess-the-vampire or are good and baked. I was not but I hope to get some weed for my anxiety some day, and on that day I might watch this film. Oh who am I kidding i'm watching David Lynch's Dune and we all know it. Possibly with that episode of Sex and the City where Kyle Mclaclhan plays tennis shirtless at night as a prequel. His two best performances together at last.

So yeah not a big fan of this one. Not the worst thing i've covered but a hell of a film to unpack.. so you can imagine i'm just... PLEASED. AS. PUNCH. to be covering the other cut. Will be it be better? Worse? at least comprehnsible? Will I keep doing Dune refrences because I really fucking loved Part 2? All this and more will be answered next time but for now

#thomas and the magic railroad #thomas the tank engine #bad films #mara wilson #alec baldwin #henry fonda #animation #stop motion #thomas and friends #thomas #percy #gordon' #diesel 10 #schemer #shining time station

[mk-wizard]

Not Hiring Fans == Bad Idea

Hi, guys.

I refuse to be silent about Disney/Marvel’s latest bad idea which is how they actively refuse to hire fans of comics to write or have any professional hand in films or shows based on comics. Their exact words are that it is a “red flag” for someone to be a fan of the media. Now... I can understand not wanting to hire inflexible purists and looking at skill first, but actively refusing to hire people who love and respect the medium you want to work with is such a bad idea on so many levels. In fact, I have four counter arguments as to why you should hire fans.

1- Issue #___ may have been done, but NOT in film or TV. - And even if it has been, so what? How many times has Cinderella, been adapted multiple times just by Disney alone? Disney keeps re-adapting it with two sequels to the classic, a live action remake, a few films which re-imagine the premise completely and cartoon shorts which adapt the tale in some way or the other all the time. Great stories are worth telling again and again by anyone who is happy to do so and in the medium of their choosing. It is a part creative freedom.

2- Not everyone has read issue #___ . - People forget that a lot of these comic books have been around for decades, so not everyone has read every single one because they didn’t know about them, or they weren’t born yet. Just look at the Lord of the Rings trilogy. A lot of people didn’t even know the books existed until the movies came out and they have been around for a long time. After the films aired, people everywhere were getting their hands on the books. The same thing can and often does happen with Marvel movies. In a way, a superhero movie is just an elaborate comic book commercial, so when done right, it can be the reason comic sales skyrocketed.

3- A fan will reinvent the story right. - I understand that times change, and some heroes have not aged well, so you need to give things a face lift. However, you also need to know where and how to make those changes without breaking the character or the story. And I am not talking about little changes like updating the year, swapping rotary phones for cellphones, updating wardrobes and such. You need to know and accept what is and isn’t, as the Sorcerer Supreme would call it, a “constant point” as in something cannot be changed. This isn’t to say you cannot experiment with reinvention or pass on mantles, but even that has to be done right. You cannot turn Aunt May into a teenager while raising Peter. You cannot create a G-rated Punisher. You cannot turn Black Widow into a spoiled incompetent rich girl. You cannot change Captain America’s nationality. Some reinventions just don’t work no matter how funny, progressive or clever they sound on paper. A fan can differentiate between what changes are ok and may even make a story better while also knowing when to say no in order to avoid failure or worse, controversy.

4- Making art with love is more likely to be fantastic. - I admit not every fan can create good art, but amazing art has always been made by people who put their hearts into it. Just look at the original Star Wars trilogy. You can see, feel and even hear the love put into that, and that is why we are still talking about it to this day. Films and shows that are just made to pass a buck will be kind of fun, but they will not be memorable. If you are going to invest time, money and work into something, why not have people who want to do it? Who want to be there? Who want to make sure this project turns out great? Yes, it isn’t easy to work with people who get emotionally attached and argue about ideas, but when a project means something to the people working with it, they are more likely to be committed to it and really do their best instead of just doing things half-baked because their only concern is getting paid.

As for Disney, it has been clear for a long time that they stand by their choice, but I also think it has been coming back to bite them in the butt for a while now and it is only going to get worse before it gets better, I’m afraid. Then again, maybe it is the only way they’ll learn.

Thank you for reading and as always, stay safe.

-Mary

#marvel #marvel comics #mcu #disney #woke #woke agenda #bad films #disney shows #disney films #hire fans #made with love

[sothisisablog]

Me going into Rebel Moon, being and avid terrible film enthusiast: This can’t be as bad as everyone says it is.

*the scene with a very violent attempted rape of a child*

Me: Oh. So it’s worse.

#this film is genuinely bad #and not in a good way #tumblr #made with tumblr #rebel moon #zack snyder #bad films #netflix

[archaeology-findings]

So it's the end of the school year and my classics teacher let us watch one of the only Odyssey adaptations made: The Odyssey (1997).

It's a miniseries consisting of 3 1-hour long episodes, each of which is even more batshit insane than the last.

Aside from the customary bad CGI and costuming that is part-and-parcel of 90s period dramas (they did not have black dyes readily available in the 13th century BCE), the writers made some... Interesting diversions from the canon. This includes but is not limited to:

Anticleia committing suicide

All the men dying while passing Charybdis, therefore bypassing the whole Hyperion's sacred cattle incident

There's no Elpenor, which sucked because he's my favourite character

Circe for some reason turns each of the men into a different wild animal, rather than pigs?

But the funniest part by far is the design choices made for some of the less human characters.

This is Hermes. He doesn't ever land, he just floats there. Also I'm fairly certain that he doesn't have nipples in this scene.

This is Polyphemus. He doesn't look too awful given the CGI available at the time, but look at him. He's got (from what I can tell) anatomically correct eye wrinkles.

It received a 60% audience score on RottenTomatoes.

#the whole class erupted into giggles about every minute the whole way through #this is the best thing ive seen in my life #the odyssey #greek mythology #bad films

[maysshortmoviereviews]

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 (2023)

🎬After travelling to Greece for a family reunion, a woman attempts to locate her deceased father's childhood friends.

📝An absolute nonsense from start to end. The only redeeming quality this film has is the village of Danilia in Corfu. It's also where they filmed 'The Durrells'.

The movie is not funny, charming or enjoyable. The story is contrived and forced, the jokes are the same old and not funny. I thought the second installment was bad but the third is the worst. There really is no point to this waste of time. AVOID.

#my big fat greek wedding #my big fat wedding 3 #film review #rubbish films #nia vardalos #john corbett #bad films

[watchmorecinema]

I think the world would be a little bit better if people were ok just engaging with art they knew they wouldn't like that much. Stuff that isn't quite their aesthetic, made by people that aren't quite that good at it. Watch a bad movie every now and again. You'll never find the really special ones without suffering through the bad ones and hey, bad isn't dull. The worst movies I've watched still give me something to think about.

If your standards are too high you're going to miss out on a lot. If they're too low, maybe you waste 30 minutes watching a bad horror movie before shutting it off. The tradeoffs are worth it.

#movie #bad films #The Room #John Waters #Pink Flamingos #They/Them. Amazing title but wow it was not good.

[monkeyfishgirl]

So stoked that Sherlock Holmes is trending on the day I finally get to show my trash movie buds the Asylum Studios version where he looks 12 and fights a velociraptor. It is the best version

#it was meant to be #serendipity #sherlock holmes #dinosaurs #i think the dinosaur might be jack the ripper #bad movies #bad films #the asylum #the kraken is also there

[soapdispensersalesman]

It really do be feeling like that lately.

#nostalgia loop #dystopia #bad music #bad clothes #bad films #bad shows #remakes #poorly constructed clothes #uninspired music #lazy performances #inescapable ads #twitter

[a-river-of-stars]

SPEAKING OF FALSE ADVERTISING IN COVER ART

LOOK AT THIS

Looks like it could be a decent giant robot film?

WRONG.  THERE ARE NO GIANT ROBOTS IN THIS FILM.  THEY DON’T EXIST.  MAIN CHARACTER WOMAN NEVER HAS A GUN.  THERE IS NO GIANT BATTLE.  THE SUMMARY ON THE BACK OF THE BOX SAYS:

“A young woman named Scout discovers an ancient spacecraft on Earth left behind by an advanced human civilization, now lost in the distant past.  As Scout investigates the ship, she is suddenly transported to the Moon to confront a dangerous mystery, guarded by a race of robotic creatures that now threaten the Earth.”

SHE DOESN’T DISCOVER IT FIRST OF ALL, THE GUY WHO DISCOVERED IT WAS THEIR FRIEND WHO WAS THEN ASSASSINATED AND THEY JUST.  NEVER SPEAK OF HIM AGAIN LIKE HE NEVER EXISTED.  WE DON’T GET TO THE MOON UNTIL THREE QUARTERS OF THE WAY INTO THE FILM AND THE ROBOTS THEY GIVE US (WHICH ARE NOT THE ROBOTS ON THE COVER ART BTW) DO NOT AT ANY TIME THREATEN THE EARTH THEY ARE GARBAGE AND THIS FILM IS GARBAGE IT IS THE WORST FILM I HAVE EVER SEEN AND I CAN’T BELIEVE I PAID TWO WHOLE USD AT A SECONDHAND SHOP TO WATCH THIS

TO BE FAIR I KNEW AS SOON AS I SAW THE MENU THAT IT WOULDN’T BE GOOD AS IT CONTAINED ONLY PLAY MOVIE AND TRAILER WITHOUT EVEN OPTIONS FOR AUDIO OR SUBTITLES OR SCENE SELECTION

ANOTHER FAIR POINT IS THAT IT MADE ITS HORRIBLE CG OBVIOUS IN THE FIRST TWENTY SECONDS

THE FIRST SCENE DRAGGED SO GD HARD FOR TEN OF THE FILM’S 84 TOTAL MINUTES THAT I KNEW IT COULDN’T POSSIBLY HAVE GONE THROUGH EDITING OF ANY KIND

ok so I should probably have just backed out as soon as I knew it would be bad but I WANTED SOME GIANT ROBOTS BRO AND THEY DIDN’T EVEN GIVE ME THAT

had charles shaughnessy in it tho

no he does not manage to salvage this disaster

in summary it really was a trap

#giant robot #mecha #false advertising #bad movies #bad films #things that feel like they should be illegal but for some reason aren't #I wasted time watching this when I could have been watching stargate atlantis #which had better special effects 12 YEARS before this film was made #venting #DO NOT WATCH IT EVEN IF YOU'RE A FAN OF BAD FILMS #the worst movie I've ever seen #charles shaughnessy #you know what's especially bad? I and almost ANY writer I've ever met could have written a better script #how did this even get made? #moontrap: target earth

[browsethestacks]

Arthouse Muppets

Art by Bruce McCorkindale

#Comics #Arthouse Muppets #Bruce McCorkindale #Film #Muppets #The Muppets #Sesame Street #Jim Henson #Art #The Good The Bad And The Ugly #Seven Samurai #Network #Ringu #The Ring #Pulp Fiction #Ocean's Eleven #Clue #Princess Bride #An American Werewolf In London #Star Trek II The Wraith Of Khan #The Wrath Of Khan #Star Trek #Humor #Humor Comics #Bert And Ernie #Statler And Waldorf

[obdobuk]

Zack Snyder just announced a new trilogy

It is the first series of films in history to be shot entirely in Slow Motion.

Initial reports say the trilogy is five minutes of a shirtless man during a bowel movement. These five minutes have been stretched out over three films totalling 7.5 hours.

A TV series, theme park, and several new sex moves have been scheduled as part of the franchise.

#zack snyder #rebel moon #bad films

[twittercomfrnklin2001-blog]

The Midnight Swim

When their marine biologist mother disappears while diving, three somewhat estranged sisters return to their lakefront childhood home to settle her affairs while one films everything for a documentary on the situation and strange things start happening, but not nearly enough of them. Sarah Adina Smith’s THE MIDNIGHT SWIM (2014, Shudder, Tubi, Plex, Roku, YouTube) has been praised for its atmosphere of dread and the strong relationships among the three leading actresses — Lindsay Burdge, Jennifer Lefleur, Aleksa Palladino. One critic even said the found-footage format was integral to the film’s psychology. Them’s pretty high-fallutin’ words for a poorly structured film that leaves out transitions and uses the found footage format with no sense of logic. And the atmosphere is basically Chekhov without the jokes.

There are two scenes that rise above the overall tone of dourness. In one, the three sisters lip synch a music video to “Free to Be…You and Me.” In the other, they dress in their mother’s clothes and play out their memories of them, which takes a decidedly contentious tone. In both cases, Smith quashes any joy or drama in the situation. There’s also one very funny performance from Michelle Hutchinson as a local realtor caught in a tight closeup as she discovers the three sisters haven’t agreed on whether or not to sell the house. Then she leaves, never to brighten the screen again. But after one of the sister's vehemently opposes keeping the house, she suddenly agrees to help turn it into an artist's colony. Then all three decide to sell with little sense of what changed their minds. As for the structure, it takes two thirds of the film to discover the videographer (Burdge) isn’t just an eccentric who can’t eat in front of other people and films everything. No, she has serious mental issues the family has tried to deal with in the past but haven’t bothered mentioning even as strange things (but not nearly enough of them) start happening. Guess finding dead birds on the back porch every night and having footage nobody shot turn up on her camera wasn’t strange enough to make them wonder about any effect on her mental state.

Then there’s the camera work. Most found footage films have a rawness about them. They look like something shot on the fly. Smith establishes that Burdge has a very high-quality camera. But can it automatically link scenes by having dialog overlap? At one point, there’s a shot that could only have been achieved by Burdge’s sitting on the bow of a speeding motorboat. This suggests a level of bravado not previously established. And when she’s alone and leaves the camera at the edge of a pier before walking out to go in the water, who picks it up to move it in for a closeup? At the end, it follows her into the water again and into a finale whose filming makes no sense. One convention of found footage is that there’s some explanation of where the footage came from and why we’re looking at it. But there’s no sense of who put this material together. I’m not even sure Smith knows.

#horror films #bad films #found footage