#bad dreams make me not sleep but my mind fucking race

[tonycries]

Great With Kids? (You Can Have Mine) - C.K.

Synopsis. When your younger brother gets a new babysitter, only two questions linger on your mind: 1. How come your parents didn’t trust you in charge? 2. How dare the sexy babysitter be so perfect - it made you want some attention too.

Pairings. Choso Kamo x Reader

Content. MDNI, fem! reader, babysitter! Choso, male masturbation, voyeurism (from reader), Choso with nipple piercings and eyeliner hngh, unprotected, 69, choking, overstim, oral (male + female receiving), creampie, dirty talk, friends-to-lovers, Choso is down BAD and always has been, mentioned younger brother, swearing. 

Word count. 9.0k

A/N. Gojo longfic next time because I miss my pretty blue-eyed princess.

Your younger brother’s new babysitter was hot.

With a capital h. 

Scarily hot, in fact, that it made you wonder why the hell people stopped having babysitters past the age of 14.

Ah, Choso Kamo, the ever-elusive eldest son of the Itadori’s from next door. You still remember the first time you met him - well, mostly. 

The world was rocking gently at exactly 12:34AM after a night out with your old high school friends. And so were you, stumbling tipsily into your driveway, soaking up the warm summer air. 

Fumbling with the doorbell, you fully expected your parents to still be away on that extravagant couples’ cruise they’d won - one that probably cost more than your tuition.

Which also meant you expected the old lady from down the street to be babysitting tonight. Still wide awake and absolutely bursting at the seams to give you a detailed rundown about the neighborhood tea - who’s divorcing who, and her top suspects for who stole her prized garden gnome. 

What you certainly did not expect was for that door to swing open and to find yourself face-to-face with the most ridiculously attractive man you’ve ever laid eyes on. Shirtless.

Dazed, your eyes involuntarily sweep his figure from head to toe - taking in every inch of those dark, sleep-mussed locks falling effortlessly around his slightly smudged eyeliner, all the way down to the chiseled- oh god, were those nipple piercings?

Alas, the universe isn’t on your side, and you don’t get to confirm, because suddenly the door slams right in your face, almost rattling off its hinges at the force. The sound echoes in your ears as you blink in disbelief at what the fuck that was. Was that real - was he real? 

You double check the address you’ve known for years - just in case - because, hell, if you were dreaming then this was a damn good one. Taking a deep breath, you try to focus on something that won’t make your head spin before reaching for the door again.

But before your finger could even graze the doorbell, it cracks open once more. The same mysterious man towered before you, this time - you note, with a tinge of disappointment - wearing a snug t-shirt that still doesn’t do much to hide that godly physique. 

“Not that m’complaining, but who’re you and why’re ya in my house?” you manage to slur out, voice betraying the shiver that runs down your spine at his intense gaze. He simply leans against the doorframe, arms crossed and expression unreadable. 

“Choso,” he drawls lightly, eyes never leaving your face. Shit, even his voice was hot. 

You nod slowly, mind racing as you blearily try to remember just where you’d heard that name before. Some family friend? Nah, you’d know him if that was the case. An actor? God, he sure had the looks. 

Mercifully sensing your struggle, he clears his throat, snapping you out of your drunken reverie. “Not surprised you haven’t seen me around, sweetheart, but my parents live next door.” he offers, tone laced with amusement and something else you can’t place. “M’babysitting your brother for tonight.”

You almost don’t hear the second part of his explanation, because it hits you like a ton of bricks - oh shit, this was Choso? Choso either-a-hallucination-or-a-vampire Kamo? 

In all your years of having the Itadoris as your neighbors, you’d only seen fleeting glimpses of their eldest son - a flash of black hair at the window, or a sculpted, tattooed arm waving off Yuji at the doorway. And, well, you didn’t know what exactly you’d anticipated. You just didn’t expect him to be so…hot. Or stand half-naked in front of you.

God, he made you more dizzy than the alcohol. 

“Damn,” you mutter under your breath, more to yourself than anything. Yet Choso still hears, quirking an eyebrow, a ghost of a smile playing at the corners of his lips. “Everything alright there?” he hums, the hint of a tease in his tone. Smug bastard.

You nod your head, clutching onto the doorframe for support as you lean in closer. “Mhm, perfect.” Wait- was that a blush dusting his face? Damn, this dream just keeps getting better and better.

Liquid courage coursing through you, you bat your lashes, too tipsy to even attempt a wink, “Well, Choso, let me know if ya need any help babysitting, jus’ know I’m always down to-” 

And then - perhaps to save you from the embarrassment of an awful pickup line - that’s when the universe decides to remind you of exactly how many kamikaze shots you’ve downed. The world lurches beneath you. Your hands scramble for something - anything - solid.

Ah, falling down really does feel good, especially when the ground is so warm, and soft. Smelling faintly of vanilla, with a hint of sunshine. 

And then it’s all black. 

To match his eyes.

---

The smell of vanilla still lingers in your mind as you slowly pry your eyes open, squinting against the harsh morning sunlight streaming in through your window. Groaning, you feel as though you’ve been run over by a truck. Five of them, in fact. 

Trying to will away the pounding headache, you bury yourself deeper into the snug covers of…your bed…that you’ve been tucked into? 

Oh shit. Sitting up with a gasp, you hastily try to rub away the sleep from your pointedly makeup-less eyes, remnants of last night now flooding back to you with a surge of embarrassment. 

Choso. Shirtless. Babysitting. Shirtless. But most importantly - your awful display of drunken flirting. The man appears once in a blue moon and you hit on him? Perfect. Great. Wonderful. 

And just as you’re entertaining the idea of convincing your parents to move neighborhoods, you realize with a jolt that he must’ve been the one that carried you up here and took care of you. Even after all of that. 

With a sigh, you rub your temples, wincing as it throbs at the laughter carrying from downstairs - one of them so decidedly Choso. Deep voice ringing in your ears, you can almost feel the lingering traces of his strong arms holding you flush against his chest, or the warm hands gently wiping off your eye shadow.

And it seems Choso had a penchant for interrupting your barely-lucid thoughts, because the door creaks open, ripping through the heavy silence in your room. Heart in your throat, you startle as Choso carefully steps into your room, a soft smile playing on his lips.

“G’morning,” he says, voice so gentle that some small, strange part of you thinks you could listen to it forever. “Feeling any better?”

You offer him a sheepish grin, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks at the memory of your drunken antics. “Yeah, I think so. Thanks for... well, everything.”

Chuckling softly, his gaze softens as he steps closer, taking in your slightly-disheveled appearance. “It was the least I could do, sweetheart. Now, c’mon, your brother and I are making pancakes.” 

You fidget nervously under his gaze, suddenly feeling self-conscious even as he turns to leave the room at your silence. Say it, you idiot. Say it. 

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out, words tumbling out in a rush. “I didn’t mean to... y’know, act like a Victorian man seeing a woman’s ankles for the first time-” 

“It’s al-”

 “I swear I’ve seen ankles-”

A large hand cradling your cheek, his thick rings searingly cold against your chin as he tilts your chin up to meet his warm gaze - and those suspiciously red cheeks. “S’alright, sweetheart. I didn’t mind.” 

And, well, if this was his way of shutting you up then by God was it effective. Because you didn’t trust yourself to speak even as Choso gives you an easy smile. Even as he withdraws his hand, the air thick with something you were too hungover to overthink about. 

Not until he turns back to the door, flashing you a teasing smile, “Besides, it was kinda cute.”

And with that, Choso steps through the door with the audacity of someone that hadn’t uttered words that sent your mind reeling. 

As the creak of the door echoes behind him, Choso’s warm touch still sears into your skin. Something hot and prickly pooling in your stomach. Only one thought rings clear in your hazy, still-hungover mind - one that makes your cheeks flare: this was going to be a very interesting summer.

You just didn’t realize how interesting it would be. Not until two weeks, four days, and sixteen hours after you first met Choso. 

It starts out innocently enough, taking the early shift at your internship, volunteering to help with the chores - you find yourself subconsciously making excuses to be around him whenever he’s scheduled to babysit.

You’ve probably learned everything there is to know about the man by now - from the way he likes his eggs (sunny side up) to that time he accidentally dyed his brother’s hair neon pink while trying out a recipe for homemade hair dye. 

Likewise, Choso happens to be the only one who knows that you were the one that accidentally caused that flood in your dorm that required five floors and two plumbers to resolve. 

At this point, Choso’s at your house more often than not - where Choso is, there is you, and where you are, there is Choso. And your brother…and sometimes Yuji, but semantics.

“Semantics” are probably why you find yourself rushing home straight from your internship, ignoring every invitation for an after-work drink - to see your brother, of course. No other reason - definitely not because of the way Choso will inevitably be there too. Or because of the way his smile makes something strange coil in your stomach. Or-

Okay, maybe you speedwalked up your driveway faster than usual a little bit because of Choso. But as you’ve said - semantics.

Yet, sometimes you even think there’s a familiar flicker of something more in those dark eyes.

…

Nahhh. 

Stepping into the yard, the air thick with the scent of freshly cut grass and the deafening sounds of splashing, a smile tugs at your lips at the awfully wholesome view that greets you.

Your brother and Yuji are locked in a fierce battle, water guns being brandished like the most seasoned warriors.

And Choso - towering over everyone else - was at the epicenter of the chaos, his laughter booming over the commotion. Shirtless. Again. 

His bare, tattooed torso gleams in the light, muscles flexing with each movement as if sculpted by the gods themselves. Droplets of water glistening on his dark hair like diamonds in the fading light.

Traitorously, your cheeks burn as you step closer, desperately trying to rip your gaze from the milky abs peeking out and the tantalizing glint of metal winking so sinfully at you under the sun.

So he does have nipple piercings.

God, you have to get your mind out of the gutter.

As you approach, Choso’s grin widens, a playful sparkle dancing in his eyes. Without hesitation, he scoops up a large water balloon and takes aim, launching it with frightening accuracy in your direction.

The icy water hits you before the realization, and you squeal in surprise as the balloon connects right with your chest, seeping into your shirt. Glancing down with a startled laugh, you realize a moment too late that your once-pristine white shirt is now completely see-through. 

Heat rushes to your cheeks, but the damage has been done. Smug bastard, you think, glancing up at Choso, slightly red-faced yet wearing a sly grin as he surveys the aftermath of his well-aimed shot.

“Shoulda just told me if you wanted a peak, you lecher. This shirt was expensive, y’know.” you call out, mock-glaring at the man that stood so infuriatingly beautifully in front of you.

Choso throws his head back in a laugh that makes something tingle all the way down from your toes to your burning cheeks. “Maybe you shoulda just kept your guard up, sweetheart,” 

You scoff, “Maybe you should stop being a distraction then.”

His grin widens, reaching for another nearby water balloon, “S’not my fault you’re so easily distracted. No need to be a sore loser.”

“Oh, it’s on now.”

“Well, well, looks like we have a new contender in the water war,” Choso remarks mischievously to the kids, gesturing towards you. Yeah, really smug bastard.

Ah, what the hell. This shirt was on sale anyway.

---

Now, Choso knows you’re hot - always has.

Ever since that first day he moved in next door, when he stumbled upon you sunbathing in your backyard wearing that sinful bikini. And, well, after hours of moving boxes upon boxes of Yuji’s dumbbells, the mere sight of you was like the gates of heaven spread wide open for him. 

But, especially now - all drenched and disheveled. Your shirt sticking to your curves like a second skin in all the ways that should be illegal - and also makes some strange part of him slightly jealous. Beaming smile directed right at him - shit, this might as well just be the final nail on his coffin. Death by you.

Amidst the chaos and confusion, you're a force to be reckoned with. Choso can barely tear his eyes off of you, breathless and victorious in pure adrenaline-fueled bravado, declaring “Beg for mercy and I’ll let you off easy, Choso.”

“Kinky, but absolutely not, sweetheart.”

Clutching a particularly large water balloon, raising your hand high high high - hurtling it straight at him with an unapologetic smirk, “Then, better run for your life.”

Oh? Maybe Choso was a masochi- what was that- 

A flash of his favorite lacy pink, your poor buttons faltering at the sheer force of your throw. Choso doesn’t even feel the cold splash! square on his chest as he’s drenched icily from head to toe. Too transfixed.

Too focused on trying not to make it obvious he’s mentally calculating the chances of your shirt coming off altogether…

Eyes locked on the sliver of soft skin peeking out at him. Only registering you and the traitorous rush of heat flooding his cheeks - and his cock - as he averts his gaze, internally smacking himself for letting his thoughts wander into such dangerous territory. 

Both thanking and cursing the gods above, Choso realizes with a pang that he’s not just screwed, he’s absolutely twisted, tangled, and tied up in knots.

So utterly screwed, in fact, that he probably needs to make a quick run to the bathroom now.

Like, right now.

Shit. 

With a muttered excuse of a bathroom break, each step more urgent than the last, Choso can’t help but wonder if the water balloon incident was some sort of cosmic punishment for his wandering thoughts. Some divine intervention from his ancestors for being such a pussy around you all these years.

And as he slams that bathroom door closed, bunches his pants bunched underneath his heavy balls, and takes his throbbing cock in his hands, Choso thinks he might just see the gates of heaven - well, at least he’ll be able to give his ancestors a piece of his mind there.

With a groan, he leans against the closed door, eyes scrunching shut as he takes his swollen cock in his fist. Leaking hot precum and glistening in the dim bathroom light. He grips the base tightly, pulsing and achingly hard for you. 

Cold rings searing against his skin, Choso wastes no time - wanting to get this over with and join you again more than anything - starting up a hasty, desperate pace up and down his length that makes his knees buckle. Tighter on the base, just teasing his furiously flushed tip. Pink. Pink to match your bra.

With you so sinfully soaked through, wearing that goddamn lacy bra out there, Choso wasn’t as strong a man to possibly get you out of his mind. He can’t help but imagine your sultry smile, how it would look wrapped around his cock. 

Arm straining now, a shiver runs down his spine - all the way to his throbbing erection. “Shit.” he breathes, “J-jus’ like that, sweetheart.” 

Head only filled with you, and your lips and you-

He milks his base tighter - would you take him all in one go? Look up at him with those beautiful, teary eyes as you choke around his cock? 

One hand pulls in urgent, jerky little moves that have his hips bucking into his fist. The other reaches up muffle the fucked out moans leaving his swollen lips. God, it would take everything it had in him to not fuck up into your pretty lil’ mouth. Watch you cock-drunk and taking him so well. 

Or maybe…

Eyes rolling to the back of his head, Choso fights back a groan as he reaches a hand up to teasingly thumb under his slit. Delicate beads of precum dripping onto the cold tile with a deafening drip! drip! drip! Smearing at the way he rubs maddening little circles under that one spot, grazing his sensitive veins. 

Maybe you’d be a a fucking tease - run your tongue under his pulsing head so agonizingly slow. Knowing you, you’d probably pull away as soon as he bucks his hips into your mouth. Lips swollen and glossed prettily with his precum as you whisper, “Now now, baby. If you don’t act like a good boy then you won’t get to cum~”

“Sh-shit, hah-” Choso thinks he’s going insane, he can practically hear your hums as you kiss along his length, tongue darting out to trace his throbbing veins so obscenely. Flicking at his sensitive head. Eyes sparkling - ready to positively devour him. 

All for him. 

It’s too much. 

“Ah- Ngh, fuck.” he moans hoarsely, letting out a low, fucked-out little call of your name. “More. Need m-more, sweetheart.” 

Body shuddering violently, sweat dripping from his brow, Choso’s thighs quiver as he fucks his fist at an almost-animalistic pace. Chasing his release with reckless abandon. 

Choso’s heart pounds wildly in his chest as he tries - and fails - to maintain control. Raspy whines of your name escape through the crevices of his fingers, cracking ever-so-slightly in a way he knows he’d be embarrassed about if he was in a better state of mind. 

Giving up his futile attempt, long fingers snake down below to cradle his balls in a way he knows you’d do better. Tugging and pulling at a jerky rhythm that matches his hand. 

Some tiny, practical part of his brain hopes - prays - that you won’t call off the water fight early and come up to check on him. He knows he should hurry up, he knows he’s fucked if you ever found out. Shit, he should bake you apology cookies tomorrow.

But fuck are so you perfect for him. Voice so pretty and eyes so warm as you turn your gaze to his undeserving self. He’d kill to see if you still look at him that way when - if - he absolutely ruins you.

Would you be able to take all of him? Would you pout adorably until he shoves his dick down your throat? Gagging as he hits the back of your throat over and over - oh how Choso would love to mess up your mascara. He’d fucking tattoo your lipstick stains on his dick if he could. 

“Cum f’me, baby.” you’d mewl, and shit would he burn down this entire world to hear you call him that. “Mm, fill me up with your cum, wan’ taste you, baby-”

“Fuck,” he curses again, voice thick with need, and tight balls twitching so sensitively. “Fuck...fuck fuck fuck. M’gonna cum- shit- gonna cum, sweetheart.”

You - all see-through white shirts and lacy bras that drive him wild. Giggling with the audacity of someone who isn’t making him slowly lose his sanity. You with prettily lips painted white with his seed. Cum and saliva mixing into a lewd pool on the sterile tile as you suck the soul out of him. 

You. 

And then he’s cumming. 

A raw, drawled-out keen of your name and he’s spilling into his fist. Thick, hot spurts of cum that paint his palms white in a way he wishes he could do to you. And behind his closed eyes all he sees is you - you you you-

You, dragging out his orgasm so torturously, lips decorated with his seed, dribbling down to your lacy pink bra, gushing so lewdly down your ready throat. You with your eyes dazed, lips swollen and quirking up into a fucked-out smile as he does so well for you - cumming, all for you.

You, with your wide eyes and disgust on your face as you realize just what he’d been doing on this suspiciously long “bathroom break”.

Shit.

Body still twitching with the shockwaves of probably one of the Top 5 orgasms of his life, Choso all but collapses against the bathroom door, panting heavily, utterly spent. For a moment, he lies there, wondering if this is what heaven truly felt like.

But as the euphoria of his high ebbs away into nothing but mere tingles, a slight wave of nausea crashes over him. 

Sighing, Choso reaches for the paper towels, ready to clean up his mess. If only you were there to milk him dry then he wouldn’t have to-

…

God, he was definitely baking you apology cookies tomorrow. 

Now, when it started drizzling shortly after Choso left, you took it upon yourself to usher the kids back home and hand over his t-shirt personally like the good samaritan you are - out of the goodness of your heart, of course. 

Not for any reason whatsoever because you were hoping to get at least one more glimpse of those sinful nipple piercings up-close.

…

Okay, perhaps there was a slight ulterior motive involved. 

Either way, what you’d expected was for a flash of silver as you handed over his drenched t-shirt. Or maybe that familiar easy smile to warm you up from the icy water.

Literally anything but to find yourself frozen outside the bathroom door, cunt dripping, and ears ringing with the muffled echoes of his pornographic groans.

At first, completely mortified, your fight or flight instinct had kicked in as you realized just what those rhythmic, fucked-out little grunts meant. Only for you to choose neither option - staying rooted to your spot with the utterance of one, simple, word - your name.

Confusion whirls in your mind almost as much as the throbbing in your cunt, knees weakening. Heart thumping louder and louder in your ears at each whine of your name. Shivers running down your spine - all the way to your wet cunt as it really sets in that this was Choso. And he was fucking his fist in your bathroom. To you.

And you didn’t mind?

In fact, you find yourself leaning against the door, thighs squeezing together - mere inches away from where you imagined him slumped against it. Soft strands sticking to his forehead, cock hot and heavy, aching for release. Ragged breathing as if caught off guard by the intensity of his own pleasure. Broken whispers of your name leaving him over and over-

Really, you know you should give him your privacy. But if the white-hot ropes of pleasure running up your spine are anything to go by then, well, is it really that bad?

You have half the mind to just reach down down down - just a little release. Almost jealous of Choso-

Click!

You’re sure you could rival Usain Bolt with the way you ran down those stairs. Cheeks flaring, his damp t-shirt still clutched tightly in your hand. Mind racing with only one thought - this little fuck wanted you just as badly as you wanted him.

---

You can barely remember what transpired after your little discovery. You couldn’t decide who looked more dazed - you or Yuji, who was being practically dragged out that front door as Choso exited hastily with vague mentions of baking and cookies

And in the ringing silence that followed after that front door slammed, you couldn’t help the smirk that found itself onto your face. This was going to be fun.

But if there’s anything you’ve learned about Choso - it’s that even after twenty-something years on planet Earth, that man can not take a hint.

You somewhat had an inkling after the fifth time you decided to sunbathe in just a skimpy bikini at exactly when you knew he’d be watching. Well, you might not have gotten any reaction other than an extremely flushed face at the window, but at least you knew he’d have more very fun bathroom breaks.

Hell, one time you even bought ice lollies for the whole house - but especially Choso. Making sure those dark eyes followed every lick and trail of it dripping down your fingers under the scorching summer sun. Ultimately resulting in nothing more but a heavy gulp and for his ice lolly to hit the grass faster than it could even begin to melt. 

Ugh, should you get your brother to start another water fight? That went down well last time. 

It’s only after another failed attempt at trying to get him alone and a few hours of deliberating whether you should ship your interrupting brother off on a cruise too that you realize you have to get out the big guns.

“The big guns” being stealthily organizing a sleepover for your brother at the Itadoris, then inviting Choso over for a movie night. Simple, right? And, well, if anyone asked, you could just say the movie just so happened to be rated R. 

It wasn’t too hard to convince your brother that a sleepover with Yuji would be the best thing since sliced bread. The excitement in his voice palpable as he agreed, not suspecting a thing.

You just didn’t think it would be even easier to convince Choso to come over with a simple playful text of “Netflix no chill. Haha jk…unless?” But then again, when has Choso not surprised you?

And that night, as your brother eagerly headed off to Yuji’s place, you couldn’t help but feel a slight pang of guilt - but, hey, it was for a good cause, right? 

It’s a win-win either way - your brother gets to spend the night with a friend and you get to be here, so achingly close to Choso on that couch. So close that you could feel the heat radiating off of him, stealing glances at his sharp profile as the conversation flows easily about the movie playing on screen.

Shifting ever-so-slightly closer, electricity crackling between you two was palpable. You smile in anticipation, after all - you weren’t lying about the movie being rated R.

Now, Choso certainly didn’t come over to your house tonight expecting a wholesome rerun of Cars 2. However, he also wasn’t expecting the blockbuster action movie to suddenly unfold into something so steamy.

Goddamn lecherous directors and their goddamn pervy movies.

Eyes firmly trained on the ground, instead of the actress currently fake-moaning dramatically onscreen, Choso tries to ignore the subtle shift of your hips or the way the temperature in the room has currently increased by about 10 degrees. Or the way your moans would sound a million times prettier in his ears.

Alas, Choso was not a strong man, and he especially tries to will away the blood rushing straight to his cock right now - but how could he? You were such a vision of temptation, so close and warm and close to him on the couch.

This was absolute torture. 

“God, this is so painfully fake. Don’t you think so?” your voice rips through the deafening silence between you two, tone careful and balanced, startling Choso out of his little reverie.

His eyes flicker hastily to meet yours, and for a moment, he seems caught off guard by your sudden interruption. “Oh, yeah.” voice rough with a hint of nervousness. “I’ve seen better performances in middle school plays.”

You nod, the tension between you thickening as you lock eyes. “I mean, who even writes this stuff?” you continue, leaning in even closer to Choso, words positively dripping in sarcasm. “It’s like they’ve never actually had sex before.”

Choso lets out a shaky laugh, the sound strained as he shifts subtly in his seat - but not subtly enough. Because you catch the way he desperately tries to adjust his now-uncomfortably tight pants. Success. 

“Yeah, exactly,” he clears his throat, ripping his gaze away from yours.

You study him for a moment under the dim lighting, noting the way his hands clench and unclench in his lap, the rapid rise and fall of his chest as he struggles to control his breathing. He was nervous. Nervous and horny - exactly where you wanted him. 

A sudden rush of adrenaline courses through your veins, and you lean even closer to the man. Not even a hair’s breadth between you two - you relish in his strangled gasp as your tits press so enticingly against his arm. 

“Choso, just a thought.” you hum casually, lips mere inches from his ear. “Wanna recreate the scene better?”

His breath hitches at your words, muscles rippling so deliciously beneath your touch. “Do you know what you’re saying?” he rumbles, lowly. Eyes darkened and unreadable.

You smile, heart pounding against your chest as your lips brush against his earlobe. “Absolutely.”

It was like something snapped.

Because then he’s kissing you. And you’re kissing him. Because goddammit you haven’t spent the last month sneaking glances at those pretty lips for nothing.

Movie completely forgotten, Choso is warm under your touch - all sculpted chest and urgent pulses as his lips kiss you dizzyingly. Groaning lowly as your arms wrap around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer.

He breathes you in with an infectious desperation that bleeds into his hands, wandering every inch of your skin - as if he didn’t have enough time. And he probably didn’t. Distantly, Choso thinks that no time in the world would be enough to absolutely fucking wreck you the way he wanted to.

Large, hurried hands grope your chest, squeezing so teasingly in a way that almost made you think he was trying to feel out what bra you were wearing - lacy pink. His favorite, of course.

You minx.

Urgently tugging the hem of your tight shirt over your arms, Choso tosses it god-knows-where. Mouth watering as he pulls away to greedily take in the heavenly view of your heaving chest - the same one he’s shamelessly fucked his fist to for too long.

God, you were perfect. With a soft, little oh! Choso leans down to leave hot, open-mouthed kisses on every bit of exposed skin he could reach. Nipping, and tugging lightly. Relishing in the way you whine for his lips again.

Threading a hand through his soft hair, you lightly pull him back to you. Breath fanning his face, lips ghosting over his own.

“Kiss me, you fool.”

And, well, Choso didn’t have to be asked twice. Molding his mouth against yours once more. Letting your lips part, you intertwine your tongue so sinfully with his. He tastes just like he looks - so intoxicatingly delicious.

With a breathy sigh, he lightly taps the curve of your ass. Hands lingering for far longer than necessary, kneading the flesh in a way that has your skin searing. 

You get the signal. Urgently, you loop your legs around his waist. “Choso- bed.” you whisper, muffled in-between kisses. “Now.”

Shivers run down your spine at the way he chuckles darkly, “Honestly, sweetheart. I don’t even hah- know if we’ll make it there.” Mumbling against your lips, “Would you kill me if I take you right here right now?”

“I’ll kill you if you don’t fucking do something.” you hiss, words dripping in desperation. Ah, but Choso, ever the merciful man, shuts up whatever other retort on the tip of your tongue with his own. Kissing you with almost-bruising intensity as he gets up from his seat. Strong arms securely wrapped underneath you, holding you flush against his warm skin.

Choso doesn’t pull away even once as he hastily makes the route to your room. And honestly, with the speed at which your back hits the soft mattress, bouncing at the sheer force at which you two fell on top, you wouldn’t even be surprised if he teleported there.

Now safely in the confines of your room, you all but rip off Choso’s snug t-shirt. Those familiar obscene nipple piercings winking at you under the dim lighting in greeting. 

“Always wanted to do this.” you murmur, surging forward as if on autopilot. Lips latching delicately onto the pretty pink nipples, tasting the cold metal on your tongue. 

“Oh- oh, fuck. A-always knew you had a thing hah- f’my piercings, sweetheart.” Choso breathes out, letting you have your fun. His favorite bra now at the foot of your bed. Fingers deftly sneaking under your skirt, blood rushes straight to his cock as he feels the positively soaked state of your panties - if you could even call them that. 

Sanity snapping, he immediately flings off your skirt. Throwing it somewhere across the room with no care or concern for where it ends up. All so he could look down at oh-

Oh god, if you had to describe Choso’s face as he takes in the sight before him - it would be absolutely losing his sanity. Your pussy dripping and clenching around nothing - all for him.

Strings of slick trail down your thighs as Choso hooks one, long finger under your slutty g-string, tugging impatiently.

You keen as the cold air hits your dripping cunt. Yet Choso’s eyes stay locked hungrily on the sticky fabric intertwined around his fingers “Guess you were expecting this, huh?” he murmurs, voice thick with desire. 

Scoffing, you buck your hips up for something - anything. “I’ve been wanting to fuck you since that first night I hit on you, y’know,” you admit, the heady air of your room melting away any reservations you had previously. 

And that seems to snap Choso out of his trance - eyes flickering over to you, darkened with something so carnal that it makes your cunt throb. “Oh yeah?” he mumbles, swiftly stuffing the g-string in his pocket before leaning down, hot breath hitting your ear. “Now, what was that pick-up line you were gonna say that night?” 

You gasp in embarrassment, heat flooding to your cheeks at the memory. “Wha- that doesn’t matter. I was drunk and-”

Smack!

The delicious sting on your ass hits you before the realization that Choso smacked you. He smacked you. Even later do you realize that you like it - slick beading so obscenely at your sloppy hole.

“What was it, sweetheart?”

You shudder at the tone that leaves no room for argument. The words tumbling out of you as Choso caresses soothingly over the handprint on your ass. “I- it’s stupid. I was gonna say that I’m down to sit on your face, baby.”

“Thought so,” he grins, pulling away from the dizzying proximity. Shifting - well, more like manhandling - you to flip positions. 

God, you could almost sink into his muscles as he lays back on your bed. Voice low and dangerous as he utters words that go straight to your dripping pussy, “Now, sit on m’face.”

And before you know it, you find yourself hastily straddling Choso’s pretty face. Hands snaking down his milky abs, lips kissing along his tattoos, catching purposefully on his sensitive nipples. 

Warm breath fanning your quivering cunt, he reaches up to cup your ass, nudging your needy core to his mouth. Kneading. Groping. 

Not stopping his ministrations even when your slick oozes slowly, torturously through your swollen folds and onto his awaiting tongue. A maddening drip! drip! drip! ringing in your ears above your thundering heartbeat.

Choso groans at the mouthwatering sight above him. You - spread so shamefully open for him and clenching around nothing. 

“Luckily for you, sweetheart, wanted you to sit on m’face ever since I saw you.” sweet juices flowing down his throat, words muffled against your throbbing lips. 

He barely even gets the words out before he’s surging forward. Licking a long, languid stripe up your heated folds. Again. And again. Faster at the pretty moans that spill from your lips.

Pushing his tongue in between your slit, past that first, tight ring of muscle. Bullying it deeper and deeper. Chin pressing against your throbbing clit, ravaged at each movement of his face. 

He caresses your warm walls, relishing so filthily at the way you clamp down on him in surprise. “Hngh- oh shit, baby. Ah-”

Your sweet moans are music in his ears and shit - you called him “baby”. It’s as if every wet dream he’s ever had has come to life as Choso dips in and out at a ruthless pace. Pulling out to tease your dripping entrance, pushing past mercilessly into your plushy walls. In and out in and out in and out-

His cock strains so painfully against his pants at the way your sloppy hole sucks his tongue in so obscenely - almost as if it hurts to part. Tongue fucking you the way he wishes he could with his cock right now.

“Oh- Hah- Choso! Fuck, baby. S’good.” your body arches into his absolutely depraved tongue. 

Desperate whines spilling incessantly from your mouth at the way he quirks his tongue up just right to graze that spot he knew would have you grinding down on him for more. “Ah! Right there - jus’ like that!”

As if he knew exactly how to drive you wild. Exactly how to break you. You almost don’t notice the mindless, shallow little thrusts of his hips into your open palm. Almost.

Eyes snapping open at the tremors, you reach a hand across his quivering thighs. All the way down towards the very obvious dark patch on his pants - right where his furiously hard tip was leaking thick, relentless precum that made your mouth water. 

Oh, how you’d kill to taste him - see if the rest of him is as intoxicating as his mouth is.

So you do. 

Choso was so pussy-drunk in-between your thighs that you think he barely notices the way you fumble with his belt. Shakily pulling those pants down just enough to glimpse the rock-hard erection that those boxers do nothing to hide. 

“Shit,” you whisper, voice strained with need. 

You always imagined Choso had a big cock - but this was ridiculous. Your pussy clenches in both nervousness and anticipation as you imagined the delicious stretch of him splitting you apart on it. Breaking you. 

And that’s probably when Choso notices - you clamping down so filthily on his tongue. 

“Oh?” he rasps, voice sending white-hot vibrations of pleasure right up your spine. “Didn’t think you were so desperate for my cock, sweetheart. Gon’ make me cum, hm?”

Now, you’ve always thought of yourself as a woman of action rather than empty words. Which is probably why you urgently pull down his boxers. Choso’s painfully hard erection springs out, hitting his lower abs. 

You take a moment to admire the long, heavy cock in your hands - a deliciously pretty pink on top, furiously leaking glistening precum. Saliva pooling in your mouth - you shove it as far down your throat as you possibly could. 

Oh, how many times in his life has Choso imagined this moment right here. In the shower, right before bed, right after waking up too. You’re really a dream come to life. 

A startled, strangled moan of your name leaves Choso’s kiss-bitten lips as you take him all in one go. Only to pull back and spit once- twice on his throbbing cock. The steady stream of spit cool - followed so maddeningly by the warm heat of your mouth once more. You start up a torturous, filthy pace bobbing your head up and down on his cock.

He strains his head to catch a glimpse - even just one - of your nose pressed against his pelvis. Breathing in the heady scent at the tufts of hair at the bottom, already wet with precum and spit. His dirty girl. 

Popping off with a lewd squelch, “Feels good, baby?”

“Feels perfect.”

But he wasn’t gonna fall far behind.

Immediately attaching his lips with yours once more, Choso dives nose-deep in your dripping cunt. Rolling your throbbing clit in between his lips. Flicking his tongue along the sensitive bud in a way that makes your head feel so light. He alternates between a slow, languid torture on your clit and fucking into you unforgivingly.

Your movements stutter as you teasingly lick at his sensitive slit. The salty flavor of his precum is probably your favorite taste now. That bastard.

Reaching down, you cup his heavy balls, massaging the tender flesh in harsh, hasty circles that match your mouth down his length - up and down up and down up and-

Muffled moans and lewd squelching filling the heated room. A rhythmic, sinful cadence that both of you were losing your sanity to. Movements more frantic now. Desperate to make the other cum. Desperate to be first.

Letting out soft, raw grunts, Choso fucks up his throbbing erection into your mouth. Your eyes water as his tip abuses the back of your throat. And it makes you wish you could see how messy he looked right now. All smudged eyeliner and slick-glossed lips. 

Gagging around him, a mixture of drool and precum drips sinfully down the corner of your mouth as you increase your pace, pooling messily on his lower abs. Sloppy - so sloppy.

So it only made sense that your orgasms were the same. 

Pleasure dizzyingly overwhelming, you gush around Choso’s mouth with a stifled squeal. Stars behind your eyes, vision blurring, mind blanking - the only things you register being the languid tongue lapping up at your sweet juices and the guttural groan of what sounds like your name as Choso shoots thick, hot spurts of his cum down your throat. 

Throat burning as the salty taste fills your senses, you milk his cock for more more more- his dick pulsing and stuttering in your mouth. Cum staining the fresh sheets below - a problem for later. 

Right now all you were focused on was riding out your high, grinding almost animalistically on Choso’s pretty face. 

You’ve barely removed yourself from him with a lewd pop! before Choso’s wrestling you back onto the mattress. Two fingers squishing your cheeks into an embarrassing pout, cold rings digging into your skin. The other hand snaking in between your thighs to play with your still-twitching cunt. 

“Didn’t say we were done yet, sweetheart.” he mutters. You weren’t done - no, far from it. Because fuck a refractory period - both of you were going to take all you could get.

And before you can think of anything else, Choso is leaning down, hand prying your lips apart for him into a brutal kiss. Teeth clashing, lips bruising. He forces his tongue down your throat. Tasting himself before you barely get a chance to taste him as well. 

“Hah- fuck-” you flinch as he swears into your bruised lips. “So fuckin’ sweet. You taste so good sweetheart.” The sheer debauchery and ache of his cock too much for him. 

Tasting him. Tasting you. Both a heady flavor that leaves you yearning for more. 

You bite down on his bottom lip in retaliation, relishing in the drawn-out groan that rumbles into your mouth at this. The kiss is feral. It’s animalistic. It leaves you feeling so fucking dirty. 

And you barely recognise the dazed, predatory glint in Choso’s eyes as he pulls away, his mind clearly miles away as he spits once. Twice. Three times on your face.

The wads of saliva and cum hit your face with a warm, wet jolt. You whine at the way it seeps into your skin, dripping down your cheeks so fucking obscenely. Pooling at the sheets below in a way that makes you feel sorry for whoever had a shift at the laundromat tomorrow.

“Now, what do we say, sweetheart?”

A fucked-out, delirious smile tugs at the corner of your lips as you realize - yeah, you wouldn’t have it any other way. “Thank you.”

Not even when Choso lets out a dark chuckle, throwing your legs over his sculpted shoulders and manhandling you so that you’re splayed out so shamefully for him. Dripping cunt spread for his greedy gaze and clenching around nothing - aching for him. Begging for him.

Not even when he lines up his still-rock hard cock at your entrance, tip - angry and red - weeping so desperately as he nudges at your sloppy hole. Dragging his head along your folds collecting every bead of slick, just grazing your pulsing clit. Every muscle in your body trembling and anticipating what was to come.

You mewl at the stretch as he presses in - deliciously painful, boderling insane, and exactly what you wanted right now. Splitting you apart on his throbbing cock. 

And especially not when he bottoms out inside you in one, harsh thrust. Burying himself inside your sloppy walls till his twitching balls smack against your ass. 

“Ah- hngh- oh fuckkk.” you keen in both pain and pleasure - broken, raw moans leaving you uncontrollably. But not for long, because suddenly Choso’s shoving two ringed fingers in your mouth, bullying their way inside till you’re gagging and moaning around them. 

Pressing right at that spot on the back of your tongue that makes your eyes tear up so prettily. Hey, if he couldn’t see you choking on his cock properly, the least he could do is see you choking on his fingers, right?

“Now now, wouldn’t want anyone else to hear, hm? Our brother’s would get worried.” he chuckles. Pure, dark amusement in his eyes as he takes in your swollen lips, the teartracks down your cheeks, how utterly beautiful and debauched you look underneath him. So much better than any lust-hazed imagination of his.

And yet, even when you’re being gagged and split apart on his cock, you find it in yourself to be mouthy. Words muffled around his thick fingers as you raise a brow. “There’s no one else home, though?.”

The corners of Choso’s lips lift into a devilish grin, “The neighbors, sweetheart.”

His tone is teasing, but there’s an undercurrent of seriousness that sends a chill down your spine. He’s just joking, right? Right?

“Wha-”

And probably because he was losing his patience - and partly to shut you up - Choso begins to move.

Pushing past the resistance, beginning to fuck into you in shallow, uncontrollable movements of his hips. Just little motions to get him off, groaning at how sinfully tight you were - the way you were sucking him up so good.

Next time, Choso thinks, reaching down a hand to draw tight, little circles on your poor, abused clit - next time he’ll fuck you right. Hours upon hours of teasing you so you don’t know what it feels like when you’re empty without him. 

But fuck does he think he could just about pass out right now.

There’s no going back now. Choso fucks you in a way that makes you feel so deliciously filthy. Plunging into your heated cunt with no restraint. Thrusts positively savage.

Pulling all the way back so that his leaking tip just barely kisses your sloppy entrance, slamming down down down, Choso fucks you at a merciless pace. Relishing the delicious stretch of your cunt as he thrusts into you with a desperation that surpasses the need for reason. 

“Sh-shit, sweetheart. God, s’tight. better than I ever could’ve imagined.” he moans breathlessly, brows furrowing, eyes rolling to the back of his head, the feeling of you milking the absolute soul out of him just too much.

“Oh, yeah- wanted this for so long-”

You yelp every time he rams his cock into you, the smacking of his toned pelvis against your thighs stinging almost as deliciously as his tip kissing your cervix. The obscene slapping of skin on skin makes your cheeks burn - both pairs as his heavy balls smack against your ass each time he shoves his throbbing cock into you.

And because you can’t leave him alone, of course, you find your nails digging harshly into his muscled shoulders. 

Pulling him impossibly closer. You want more. You need more. 

Maybe you say those words out loud - you don’t even know anymore, too delirious and cock-drunk from Choso and your last orgasm and Choso - because his eyes widen ever-so-slightly, mouth falling open into a small oh. Your cunt twitches at the surprised, fucked-out little laugh that leaves him,  “More? My sweetheart wants more?”

And, as you’ve come to learn with Choso - anything you want, you will get. 

“Then fucking- take it.” he grunts lowly, each word punctuated by a harsh thrust of into your plush walls that sends both of you spiraling deeper and deeper into insanity.

And God does he make you take it. Every inch of him fills you, stretching you beyond your limits - both your cunt and your senses as he leans down to bury his head into your neck, hips moving so sloppily, hiking your leg further up his shoulder. The change in angle making you see stars.

Your hips buck up in tandem with his, uncontrollable little ah! ah! ah! leaving you at each thrust. You whimper in pleasure and overstimulation into the heady room, “Yes. Yes yes yes- wan’ cum. Need more. Need you-”

“Fuck- Hngh-” is all he manages to gasp out, pleasure overwhelming his sensitive cock. Choso’s balls twitch almost painfully as they keep smacking your ass. Brain still not keeping up with his body because shit, this is all he’s wanted for years, the least he could do is make you cum before him.

“Sh-shit, sweetheart.” he rasps into your heated skin, “So close- m’ so close.”

You all but sob at his words, “M’too- hngh- ah, m’gonna cum, baby.”

You didn’t expect the petname to be what breaks him, but then again you didn’t think there was anything more left to break. Because Choso groans gutturally, cock twitching inside you “Shit, you’re driving m’crazy, y’know that?”

“I know.” you mewl, voice breaking at the way he increases his frenzied pace on your clit. You could barely even call them circles, just filthy little movements to get you closer and closer to the edge. So close. You writhe beneath him, desperate for release.

And what you didn’t expect was for Choso to connect his sweaty forehead with yours. You take a second to admire just how beautiful he is - all smudged eyeliner, tousled hair, your release still shining on the lower half of his face, and yours. All yours. You could probably stare at the sight forever.

Choso’s hot breath fans your face as he moans breathlessly against your lips, words slurring together as he ruts into you mindlessly, “Always did, y’know?”

“I know.”

“No- y’don’t hah- understand, I- for so long fuck- I-”

“Choso, just kiss me.”

And then you’re kissing him. And he’s kissing you like you’re the most precious thing on Earth. A slow, tender little dance that doesn’t match the way he rams his cock inside you. 

And then you’re cumming. Stars behind your eyes - or maybe those were tears - clamping down desperately on the harsh, jerky movements of his glistening cock that fuck you so sinfully like his little slut. 

White-hot pleasure runs down your spine, or maybe that was Choso - painting your insides the prettiest white you’ve ever seen. Shooting thick, hot ropes of his seed into your waiting pussy. A creamy ring forming around his base as he spills his cum into your snug cunt as he moans against your lips.

It’s messy. It’s sloppy. And as Choso fills you to the brim, hips still unforgiving, seed dribbling out of your dripping pussy at the way it was so overfilled - you think that it’s all you could ever want. 

As his cock twitches finally, exhaustedly - and you distantly wonder how the fuck it isn’t seizing up - Choso collapses onto you, thoroughly fucked-out. Finally pulling out with an obscene squelch, you hiss lowly at the pool of cum that forms beneath you. Gushing out of you sinfully. 

A weighty silence in the air as you both try to catch your breaths.

In the haze of your orgasm you realize that even after all that transpired, he still isn’t laying his full bodyweight on you.

Too afraid to break you.

To break whatever this tender little understanding in the air was.

And it makes some part of your heart clench so delightfully. Subconsciously, you thread a hand through his damp hair, breathing in that familiar smell of vanilla and sunshine - and the heady scent of something so Choso. It makes you intertwine your body so impossibly close with his, not knowing where one of you ends and the other starts.

“My parents are coming home tomorrow.” you start, casually. 

“Mhm. But I’ll still be around here, sweetheart.” Choso rumbles into the crook of your neck. Kissing soothingly over the marks he’d made in the heat of the moment - some carnal little part of him proud of the way you looked like you were fucking thrown to a pack of wolves. 

Words hiding a tense little fear beneath them as you probe further. Something prickly and scared rolling around in your stomach. “For babysitting?”

“Nope.”

Settling deeper into the covers, basking in the afterglow of him. You know you should get up and clean, but right now this was all you wanted. And maybe no other words were needed. 

“God, am I glad your parents aren’t home.” 

Except maybe those. 

You chuckle as you pull back to stare into those deep, dark eyes. Cheeks flaring at the tender little warmth in them much more than they had when he was fucking you so sinfully. A devious idea coming to mind - because now that you got a taste, you were absolutely hooked.

Choso Kamo was absolutely intoxicating.

“Well, we still have time so how about-”

A distant click!

“Honey, we’re home~!”

Shit.

A/N. Fun fact this was originally supposed to be called Timeout! but it was giving too much me during beep test.

Plagiarism not authorized.

#choso x reader #choso smut #choso x you #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk x you #choso kamo x reader #choso kamo smut #choso kamo x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk #jjk fic #jujutsu kaisen #choso #tonywrites #choso kamo

[httpsghostie]

Beneath the Surface (pt. 2)

Part one

Part two

Okay first of all the fact that the father's best friend!Simon went so well makes me worried. So we're all damaged? Anyways thank you sm!

Requests are open and appreciated, I need ideas hehehehe

Here's a part two that no one asked for

Summary: Simon follows you to the bathroom for a second round.

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: smut, Simon 'Ghost' Riley x female!reader, implied age gap, piv, unprotected, choking, breeding kink, slight scent kink, reader is called by lots of names, no use of y/n

masterlist

NSFW under the cut

Your heart was racing, your legs trembling when you unlocked the door of your room. It had been probably half an hour since your parents got home and everything happened. They went to sleep, not wanting to bother you and the bad-temper they knew you had before they left. You went to the bathroom and started undressing yourself, looking at your reflection in the mirror and noticing the way your hips were marked. He'd dug his nails into your flesh when he was fucking you silly and your rotting brain didn't even feel it.

His hands on your body, his words, it didn't leave your mind. You spent countless nights dreaming about this. It was so dirty, you felt so stupid and dislocated to want this when your friends talked about their normal relationships with people their age, while you daydreamed about having sex with a man that appeared every once in a while, usually accompanied by a new battle scar. And, well, speaking of the devil, the doorknob turned and he got in, locking the door behind him. 

"-the fuck are you-" your words got cut off as his lips crashed again yours, his eager hands pressing you against the balcony and squeezing your ass.

"'M not done with you." He broke the kiss and kissed a trail down your neck to your chest, where he palmed one of your tits as the other one was on his mouth. His knee pressed against your core, those fucking tight jeans that accentuated his thighs were now getting a wet spot.

He was now towering over you as he sat you down on the sink, taking off all of his clothes. He spread your legs further apart and without any warning he just thrusted into you, giving you no time to adjust to his size.

"How does it feel, hm?" He asks. "'Y like being stuffed, baby?" One of his hands grabs a fistful of hair behind your neck. "Such a needy whore you are, walking around with my cum in you." He planted kisses down your jaw, neck and collarbone.

You clenched around him at his words, earning a small and almost animalistic groan from the back of his throat. He pulled you from the porcelain surface, letting you stand your ground before flipping you like a piece of paper. He bended you on the sink, pressing your back for you to arch for him. 

That sight. Oh, that sight. He tapped his cock on your butt a few times and brushed his tip around your folds, then he entered. This angle allowed him to go deeper, and he sighed as he grabbed your hips and started to fuck you slowly.

"God..damn it." He moaned. "So fucking tight." You kept your back arched, but slowly lifted your face from the porcelain, looking at his reflection. His back had fallen back and his eyes were closed. You weren't sure what that meant, was he enjoying it, trying to memorize how you felt? Or were you just a simple fuck to the man behind you?

Needless to say you didn't know what went through his head. But the thought of him seeing you as a hobby or a distraction made you steamed up. Oh, wow. The feeling was knotting your stomach, all the heat going to your head. You moved against him, trying to get more movement from his part. He looked at you in the mirror and gave you a smirk.

"So eager, eh?" He pulled you closer to his body.

"What's so good you can't look at me?" You ask, not knowing where you were getting into.

"Beg your pardon? " His smirk was gone and he was looking at you with lustful eyes. "Want me to look at this pretty face of yours while I ruin you, huh?" His right arm slid in front of your neck and he choked you with his muscles, your back was now glued to him. "Then take it."

You just signed your death sentence. The caring Simon you knew was probably buried deep down those giant muscles in the reflection. He fucked you mad, hand covering your mouth as his balls hit your bundle of nerves repetitively. He couldn't help himself, he needed to do this ever since you started to purposefully wear revealing clothes around him.

It started small, just a shirt with a little bit of cleavage showing. You didn't feel like it had affected him in any way, so you upgraded your game. Skirts. Skirts were his downfall. That man was covered in gasoline and you were the spark to set him on fire. The way your thighs moved, the way it complimented your body. He always said you looked beautiful in skirts and dresses, what he forgot to mention is that they'd look even better on the floor, all across the room.

He dreamt about the day this would finally happen, but he needed to be sneaky. He didn't want to lose such a strong friendship with your father just because he had an incessant desire for his daughter. It was wrong, he knew it, but he couldn't help himself when his hands were wrapped around his leaking cock in your bathroom after some silly hand appointments in the living room, usually followed up by him coming by the scent of your used pink, laced panties in the laundry basket.

"Uh-uh, open your eyes, princess." Demanded him, one hand on your throat and the other on your hip. "Want you to watch how I ruin this pussy." He gave a step forward and pressed your face against the mirror, immediately making it steam with your heatness. He held your hands back as he thrusted harder into your velvety walls. You felt your eyes closing again and he yanked your head back, choking you with his free hand. "Did I stutter?" You shake your head. 

He spat on your face and inserted his fingers on your mouth, never stopping fucking you. "Look at yourself." He slowly pushed his fingers in until it reached your throat and you gagged around them. He smiled as he made you drool down his hand.

He fucked you incessantly, the knot inside you growing with each movement. Your pussy was sore and he was abusing your cervix at this point. You swear you could pass out before making him cum, because your legs were giving up.

"Come here you little slut." He flipped you and picked you up, walking into the shower and turning it on. "Can't take my cock anymore?" Said as he pressed you against the wall and fucked you hard. You slightly shake your head, mouth agape. You didn't mean it, your body was moving on its own. "Too bad, princess. 'Gonna take what I give you." 

Moans escaped your mouth unintentionally as you felt your body get even weaker as you approached your high.

"Fuck, sir, 'm gonna cum." You cried out, throwing your head back. 

"What you called me?" He looked you in the eye and his lips were turning into a smirk. Obviously it came out involuntarily. You looked at him confused. "Say that again, baby, come on." He encouraged.

"Sir… I'm coming, I'm coming." You whined, his thumb was somehow stimulating your clit and you reached your orgasm, leaving his lower stomach and crotch covered in your juices. He didn't let you ride down your high, he was desperate to cum inside you again. "T-... much, Si." You cried lowly on his shoulder.

He didn't listen to you, but it didn't take much more until he was releasing his warm seeds inside of you, legs trembling, panting breath. 

He helped you to clean, well, he gave you a shower after you collapsed on his arms. He then carried you to your room and laid you down on your comfy bed, the one you needed since the day ended. 

The walk back to the guest bedroom was somehow exquisite. He fulfilled his dreams, and probably yours too, but he felt like he needed more. Your touch, sweet and delicate as he gently scrubbed you in the shower. The tender, soft kiss you left on his cheek when he carried you. It wasn't all just sex. He was desperate for affection and you were there to give it to him. All under the covers. Your dirty secret.

#cod mw2 #ghost cod #cod mwii #ghost simon riley #cod fanfic #cod modern warfare #cod x reader #simon ghost x reader #simon riley #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost #ghost #cod smut #mw2 fanfic #ghost mw2 #ghost smut

[binsito]

tired

pairing: lee felix x fem reader

genre: bff!felix, pining, angst

word count: 2.4k

rating: mature, includes: unprotected sex, mentions of fingering and f receiving oral, it's pretty vanilla just kinda angsty, petnames like "baby", "pretty boy", and "princess" are used, felix is ur bff that's in love with you and you have horrible dating experiences with shitty people

felix was tired of having to wipe your tears.

was tired of having to listen to you talk in extensive detail over how shitty the guys you've dated have been.

how they hurt you, how they toss you aside and make you feel little.

was tired of having to pick up the pieces of your broken heart, patching them back into place only for you to go and get it torn right out of your chest all over again.

he was absolutely sick of it.

but most of all he was sick of you telling him how your lovers always fell short.

how the sex was mediocre, how they left you high and dry, chasing their own pleasure and leaving you hanging - utterly unfulfilled and upset.

he was sick of you telling him how many orgasms you've faked, how many times you've lied about how big their cock was in hopes that maybe that would push them to fuck you harder.

how they never knew where your clit was, always rubbing the skin next to it painfully hard or rubbing your folds - never where you needed them the most.

felix would never do you like that.

he wouldn't dream of giving you frustrating, god awful, pathetic sex.

felix wanted nothing more than to pull orgasm after orgasm from you, lapping your sweet cream with his tongue, dying to taste you, to have you shake under him.

he wanted to let you use him, he wanted to be a toy for you, for you to mount him and get off on him. he wanted to be good for you, to take whatever you gave him, to have you cum around his cock while he looked up at you with bleary eyes.

was that too much to ask for?

it was all he ever wanted..

he would never hurt you, would never leave you, would never make you feel worthless.

he wanted you to be his princess, he wanted you to only look at him and not those lazy excuses of a partner.

but he was just your best friend.

and you would never look at him that way.

"thank you for picking me up lix.." you said softly, breaking him out of his thoughts

you had called him to come pick you up from some guy's house, felix already knew that the guy had disappointed you in one way or another but he didn't say anything.

this was routine.

"i-i'm sorry for calling you so late.. he just didn't seem like he wanted me to stay the night so.. i felt weird asking if i could.." he just nodded, not wanting to say anything for fear of saying something brash.

"is it.. alright if you just take me back to yours? i would feel so bad if you drove all the way back to my apartment.." "s'fine yeah? you know i'd never say no to you.." he mumbled

and that was true.

he was physically incapable of telling you no, no matter how hard he tried. you could ask him to wrestle a bear for you and he would do it, no questions asked.

the rest of the ride back to his place was quiet, he didn't even bother turning the radio on. he just wanted to lay in bed, hoping you would spare him the details of your encounter because he feared he would go ballistic, could potentially show up at that guys place and fuck him up if he had done anything to you.

you took the right side of the bed, that was your spot. felix was very particular about what side was whose, you always thought it was funny. you didn't care much for sides, especially if you were drunk or super exhausted, any side was a good side.

he laid there, back towards you while you stared up at the ceiling. he could tell you were going to have trouble sleeping tonight. you barely slept if you had a mind full of racing thoughts. normally he would curl up into your sides or have you fall asleep on his chest but he was also spent.

tired.

tired of the constant back and forth. of always being the one waiting for you at the end of the tunnel.

tired of having to be strong for you, so you had someone to lean on when things went to shit.

"i-is there.. something wrong with me?"

oh god.

he could hear the tears in your voice.

shit.

"what? no, fuck no." he's quick to answer. "why would there be anything wrong with you?.." "then why does this always happen?.."

"because shitty guys tend to take advantage of sweet and beautiful girls like you.."

"i-im not-" "yes, you are.. you're the prettiest girl i know and trust me, i fucking hate seeing you like this.." his voice was soft yet stern, hoping the words would stick with you.

you were pretty.

prettier than any flower he's every picked, prettier than any sunset he's ever seen, prettier than any star he's ever counted.

and he's counted a lot.

trying hard to find you in a galaxy far away but never coming close.

always just too out of reach.

maybe he'd be a little more lucky in a different lifetime.

"i-i'm sorry lix.. i must be so annoying.. always asking you for help whenever i do something stupid.." "i love you.. that's what i'm here for.." he loved you.

his body was screaming for you to realize the weight of his words.

i love you, i love you, i love you!

"i love you too lix.."

but not in the way i love you, right?

of course not.

you both fall quiet but the room felt so loud, so unbearably loud. like the walls were laughing at you both, pointing and mocking.

felix shut his eyes, not wanting to feel anything anymore and hoping to fall asleep right away.

he was hoping you'd follow suit, that you would just go to bed after this and you two could carry on like you always did.

"i just wish i could find someone like you.. i wish i could just date you instead of wasting my time over and over again.."

felix wished you never said that.

that you had just let this go and had just gone to bed.

and part of him was so angry because couldn't you see how hard he tried for you? how incredibly lovesick he was?

"you should just go to bed." he spoke, not meaning to sound so cold. you obviously picked up on his tone.

"lix i'm sorry that was weird right?-"

"no, but it pissed me off because yeah.. wouldn't it have saved you all the trouble if you just dated me?" "lixie i didn't mean to-" "didn't mean to upset me, i get it. but i'm gonna be upset regardless because i've been going through this with you for far too long and i am just so.. fucking.. tired.

when i say i love you, i'm not just saying it because i feel like it or because you're my best friend.. i'm saying it because i fucking love you and i'm dying for you to just pick me for once.."

you felt so little at this moment.

so, so stupid.

the crazy thing was, you knew how he felt but you always just pushed it aside as nothing. that maybe you were reading into the way he liked holding your hand too much. that you were crazy to ever think your best friend could feel something more for you than just platonic friendship.

you opened your mouth to speak but ultimately fell silent.

how would you even answer? what could you even possibly say?

he figured he fucked up, about to turn away again and pretend he didn't just say the craziest shit ever. god, he wished he could just vanish.

"lix.. please don't be mad at me.. i-i'm sorry.."

if there was something you hated more than the guys you've slept with, it's feeling like you hurt felix.

"just stop apologizing please-"

"no.. you can't just say you love me and then try pushing me away.." you spoke, trying to keep your voice from faltering or sounding weak.

"i don't want to complicate things.."

"but you already did, felix."

he decided it would be best if he just slept on the couch tonight, sitting up and scooting towards the edge of the bed. your hand quickly coming over to grab his arm

"felix, please. don't leave.. we both need to stop being reckless.. you can't keep hiding your feelings and i can't keep making bad choices.. it's so bad for us." you spoke softly, your touch burning through him.

he couldn't resist you, he always sought out your warmth and soft skin.

"wouldn't dating your best friend be a bad choice?"

you couldn't help but let out a soft laugh at that.

"no.. because i know you're a good person.. you've been patient with me and i know that this might be the only good choice i'll ever make."

now he was the one trying to find words and failing to come up with a response.

but there didn't need to be any more words exchanged, you tugged him towards you and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

both of your hearts thumping nervously in your chest. it felt different but right. it was like learning to swim, you were afraid of drowning but felix was there to hold you up, kissing you back once he realized he didn't give a fuck anymore.

he loved you and he wasn't going to miss an opportunity to show you that he could love you just as you deserved.

--

it felt like the whole world was fast asleep while the two of you hastily took your clothes off. all of it strewn on the floor, bodies bare, radiating heat and harboring so many new feelings.

felix lived alone so there was no need for you to be as quiet as you were but it almost felt better this way.

you couldn't quite remember how it had escalated to this point.

maybe it was when felix let out a needy whimper against your lips or when you pulled him in close by his hair. he was so pliant, so ready to give.

you both knew you wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight anyways, so once it had gotten to this point, you both welcomed it.

"lix it's okay.." you whispered, you could see him contemplating going any further, like he was guilty about doing this.

you cupped his face and kissed his forehead softly

"i trust you..it's okay lixie.."

you trust him.

his heart felt like it could burst.

you trust him.

you trust him enough to let him have you like this, to make you feel good, to treat you well.

he wasn't going to disappoint.

he didn't care if he got to finish after this or not, his one goal in mind is to finally do all the things he'd dreamt of doing to you.

he was more worried about making sure you'd cum and were left satisfied. he let you know in advanced that he wasn't one to get embarrassed if you guided his hand or told him how to touch. he wanted to know, was eager to learn what made your toes curl.

two fingers deep inside you while his pretty lips worked diligently on your clit. your breathy moans would be engraved in his memory after this.

"oh god.. lixie.. just like that baby.." hands tangled in his long hair.

baby.

it's like you knew exactly what to say to make him crazy.

"shit.. lixie.. can't anymore.. gotta have you.." you sighed out, eyes shut tightly, your stomach coiling at the arising orgasm he was pulling from you. he pulled back and looked down at your cunt, it was basically screaming his name, fluttering around nothing, begging him to just finally breach your hole and make it his.

you wanted to cum on him, wanted to have him inside and hold him close.

he knew he was a dead man as soon as he lined up and pressed in, holding your hands gently and letting out a relieved exhale. it felt so much better than he had ever imagined, sucking him in like your cunt was made for him.

"g-god i'm not sure i'll last very long.." he chuckled

you smiled up at him and he kissed you just as he started to move gently, pacing himself in hopes of drawing this out as long as he could but in all honesty, he was dying to rut into you with all the force he could muster.

your arms wrapping around him as his forehead pressed against yours.

it was perfect.

he was perfect.

gentle and sweet, asking you if you were alright, telling you how much he loved you, how good you were taking his cock.

you could get used to this.

making love with felix.

you hated yourself for how long it took you to get here, how many heartaches and horrible exes you went through only to fall back into felix's arms time and time again.

this time you hoped to stay.

"i'm close lixie.. right there.." you whimpered, legs coming around his hips to cage him in.

he kept hitting your spot, pushing you to your peak, intensity bubbling in your tummy until it was just too much - snapping within you, your orgasm taking over all your senses.

felix cooed and sweet talked you through it, helping you ride it out as he let himself go as well, filling you with his own cum.

post nut clarity hitting him because he was so fucking worried this would ruin everything he's ever known.

he'd rather throw himself into ongoing traffic than to lose you, his best friend.

"lix.." you grabbed his face

"pretty boy.. you need to stop worrying so much.." pecking his lips gently to bring his attention back towards you.

"i promise i wanna try this with you.. i really do.. i want us to both be happy together.." he nodded and laid down on your chest, holding you close and shutting his eyes.

"i'll make you happy.. i won't let you cry anymore. i waited so long for you, princess.."

you smiled softly to yourself, playing with his hair and massaging his scalp.

you knew things would be alright for a change.

please refrain from reposting, modifying, translating, copying or stealing my work. - © binsito

#binsito #skz smut #stray kids smut #felix stray kids #stray kids felix #felix smut #lee felix smut #felix x reader smut #felix x reader #lee felix x reader #lee felix x reader smut #yongbok #lee yongbok #yongbok smut

[haetrack]

having very … thoughts abt incubus!haech … (i need him so bad val its not even funny)

- ☀️

a/n: just cried to the thought of this. like woah val can write a dom!haechan?? who would’ve thought… MDNI

incubus!haechan choosing to intrude on your dreams because he knows just how sexually frustrated you are.

incubus!haechan showing up in your dreams, touching every single spot that makes you feel good. it’s almost too good to be true, no one’s ever made you feel this good.

right before you cum in your sleep, you’re pulled away from your dream, now staring at the unknown man staring at you from the edge of your bed. he was just fucking you in your dream. haechan would smile at you as you throw yourself onto him, laughing at how quick you beg him to fuck you.

incubus!haechan who wastes no time repeating his actions from your dream, quickly pulling off your shorts and panties. he taunts you for how wet you are for a literal demon, his hand quickly slapping your cunt. the loud moan you let out pleases him, quickly lining himself at your entrance.

“angel,” he’d say, “wanna hear you beg for it. wanna hear you say that you want me to ruin your pretty pussy. my pretty pussy.”

“i-i need you! need you to ruin everyone else for me!”

incubus!haechan would put all his focus onto you. he can hear your every thought, can hear what makes your heart race and what makes you clench around him. he knows everything you like, and it’s easy for him to get you wrapped around his finger.

incubus!haechan who really just wants to see you cry and beg for him. he’s not nice, knowing that you need more than someone treating you like porcelain in bed. that’s why he’s there to take care of you, give you everything you could wish for in a human. he’d tease you, edge you for as long as he wishes until his own patience runs out. he’d fuck you into the sheets, enjoying the pretty cried you let out of his name, no human ever sounding as sweet as you do.

incubus!haechan wants you to know that you’re all his now. he’s made you cum on his cock too many times, fucking you dumb. all you remember is his name and how good he’s making you feel. you take everything he’s giving you, enjoying the mix of pain and pleasure you give to him. when he knows he’s close to cumming, he leans down to whisper in your ear, “you’re gonna let me fill your pussy full of my cum, right? gonna let everyone know you needed a demon to get off?”

all you can do is let out a loud whimper, nodding at his words as he fills you up. there’s no one who’s ever felt as good as you do, your warm walls milking his cock as he fucks his cum into you. he thinks it’s what heaven might feel like. you’re his angel now, can’t let you go knowing that you’re the only one who can make him feel just as good.

he’ll make sure he gets you, heading to your apartment every single night he hears his name flash in your mind.

#asks #☀️ anon #vals hard hours #haechan hard hours #haechan smut #nct smut #haechan x reader

[ponderingmoonlight]

Hello, could you write something about toge inumaki where the reader comforts him after the loss of his arm in Shibuya (I need content about my baby, almost no one writes about him) 💗😸

Comforting Toge Inumaki after he lost his arm in Shibuya

Pairing: Toge Inumaki x fem!reader

Word Count: 1,4k

Synopsis: see request above

Warnings: loss of arm, hurt to comfort, Toge deserves all the love, this is not proofread bc it's my birthday and I have to meet up with people urgh

dear anon, I hope you like your request even though it took me some time <3

Your feet carry you down the dark hallways on their own, mind racing. You weren’t there when it happened. In fact, you didn’t even know what was going on until Yuta arrived by your side.

“He’s severely injured, (y/n).”

There was no doubt that he talked about your lover, the boy who swept you off your feet. Toge Inumaki, severely injured? This has to be a bad dream, you will wake up every minute-

But you didn’t wake up. No, instead Shoko confirmed your worst nightmares. When Sukuna launched his sphere, Toge got caught in between. You swallow hard, desperately try to keep yourself from hyperventilating, from losing your mind completely. Your wobbly legs carry you down the halls of jujutsu high, hot tears stinging in your eyes. It is said that he lost an arm and a severe amount of blood. Is he awake, shocked, depressed? What exactly happened? The sheer wave of thoughts that roam around your head makes you feel dizzy and almost trip over your own feet.

You have to see him, have to make sure he’s alright.

“Shoko?”

Your call fades into the darkness unanswered. What time is it? It has to be far past midnight. After all, you yourself were busy the whole night fighting off curses in Shibuya.

“Fuck!”

Over and over, you slam your fists into a nearby wall. Suddenly your house of card collapses. This is a nightmare, the worst that could have happened. Nanami-sensei and Nobara dying. Panda, Maki, all the others…Toge.

You swallow hard, a toe-curling scream escaping your trembling lips. He promised to come back when you had to separate, promised to meet you back at Jujutsu High when everything’s over.

“I don’t want to leave you like this”, you admitted, heart almost pounding out of your chest.

He said nothing, he didn’t had to. Instead, he wrapped his arms around you and caressed your hair gently.

“Tuna tuna.”

A soft kiss on your temple, a last warm smile.

Then he disappeared in one of the tunnels, straight into darkness. Was that the last time you saw him? Your numb body glides down the wall, life forcing you onto your knees. You always knew how dangerous this job is, that every day could be your last. And still, you never admitted it to him. You didn’t even get the chance to tell him how you truly feel, that all those innocent touches mean the world to you.

“I love you”, you whimper into the night.

“I always did.”

“What the hell are you doing here, (y/n)?”

Your widen eyes search for her voice. Oh, there was never a moment you were more excited to hear her, to feel her presence. In the matter of second, you get back on your legs and start running. Towards the woman who means hope, towards her white doctor’s coat splattered in blood.

“Please tell me he’s okay, tell me you were able to fix him”, you mutter against her chest.

The smoke of cigarettes follows Shoko no matter where she goes, stings in your nose like venom. But you couldn’t care less. No, that she’s here means he has to be alright. That she’s here is your last straw of hope.

“Calm down, kid.”

Her free hand brushes through your hair while she puffs on her cigarette.

“This was a rough night, okay? And to be honest, you look like you could use a treatment to-“

“Shoko.”

Your eyes find hers, clouded in sleep deprivation and an unwavering sadness. And then she…smiles.

“He’s alright, (y/n).”

The weight of what feels like the whole world collapses from your chest onto the floor. And for the very first time since Yuta told you what happened, you are able to finally breathe. He’s alright. That means he’s alive, he’s save, he’s still there.

“Can I see him?”

“Just to let you know…I wasn’t able to save his left arm, okay? He’s well otherwise, but I wasn’t able to fix that. Just don’t be surprise when…y’know, it’s gone”, she explains while starting to move towards the hospital wing.

You simply follow her like a lost puppy, the news of his lost arm making your guts turn. You already heard what happened but still you hoped Shoko might be able to somehow fix this…How does he feel? This news must be devastating for him. Does he already know about the others?

Just when you’re about to drift off in your panic thoughts all over again, Shoko comes to a stand in front of your door. Your heartbeat picks up in an instant, glossy eyes staring at the closed door.

“Is he in there?”

“Take the time you need, okay? And (y/n)?”

Your turn around to look at her, shaky fingers already positioned on the doorknob.

“Just go ahead and finally tell him about your feelings, okay?”

You swallow hard, mouth so dry you aren’t even able to respond with words. Instead, you nod at her, heart pounding so roughly against your ribcage that you threaten to faint.

And then you open the door.

For a moment, your body isn’t really sure what to do. Are you about to pass out, are you relieved, scared, miserable? Toge just sits there, a weak smile forming itself on his lips when he realizes it’s you.

Something inside you snaps. Before you are able to help yourself, you storm towards him. Despite the horrible pain in your injured shoulder, despite all the bruises that cover your legs, despite the fact that you just want to cry and go to sleep, you sprint. Your body falls onto the sick bed he lays on, collapses into his already opened invited arms. Tears of joy, guilt and agony start to stream down your face in rivers, soak the bandage that covers his chest.

“Mustard leaves.”

“Are you alright?”

He eyes you up and down, inspects the wound on your forehead with his fingertips.

“I should ask you this”, you mutter against his chest.

“I should have never left you alone down there. I-…I’ll never forgive myself for this. We should have stayed together. Maybe we would have been able to prevent this from happening, maybe-“

“Fish flakes.”

“That’s not true, (y/n).”

His eyes are filled with emotions you can’t read, his thumb caressing your cheek oh so gently.

“I love you, Toge. I should have said it sooner, but I’ve been to afraid to fuck it up”, you cry out.

You never expected those words to come off your tongue so easily, that you’d be able to finally admit your feelings to him. A gentle smile lights up his face, eyes still fixated on yours.

“Salmon.”

“I love you too.”

Somehow you always knew. Deep within your guts, you always had this feeling that he might like you back. But hearing it from his very own mouth, seeing the glimmer in his eyes, that oh so precious smile. You are so lost in your train of thoughts that you startle when the boy you love more than anything else suddenly sobs.

“Fish flakes.”

“I’m scared, (y/n).”

His sudden confession almost sweeps you off your feet, the pained tone in his sore voice breaking your heart into tiny little pieces. Out of all people in Shibuya, he deserved this the least. But you have to be strong. Not only for yourself, but especially for Toge.

“We’ll get through this together, okay? I might not be able to take your pain away, but I’ll be there for you non-stop.”

He wraps his arm around you. Longingly, passionate. As if you’re air and he can’t breathe, as if you’re sunshine on a cloudy day, like water in the desert. You bury your head in the crook of his neck, silent tears still streaming down your face. Oh, you can’t imagine how painful it must be to lose your arm. Let alone…all the horrible things he saw in Shibuya. This night showed every single one of you that the real fight just started, that you had absolutely no idea about the real jujutsu world.

You gaze up at him, his glossy but loving eyes set on you.

“We can do this, Toge”, you whisper into the night.

“Salmon”, his shaky voice replies before he presses his lips against yours.

Tags: @arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @kenstarsworld @dazaisdick @hellkaiserinphoenix  @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @starlightanyaaa @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @mokoartpost @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut  @mynahx3 @sad-darksoul @chilichopsticks @chuyasthighs0 @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @wxwieeee @lovelyluna1 @froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @gojosrealwife  @coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi @weebotaku21 @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain  @risuola  @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny @ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp @localhehecat @alicerhr @kayleegomez @belovedvamp @wifenanami @chilichopsticks @dlwlrmas-world @oikawarz @darkstarlight82 @satoreo @luwumii @tachiharazsstuff @kentocalls @cheesemachine44 @ryva @kenjakusconcubine @komelrebi-san @deezy12299@busyreader17 @4pgletter @okay-it-is-ivy @iluvtoru @starlightanyaaa @bonnie-tz @bookcluberror @sillygoose3082

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jjk shibuya arc #jjk shibuya incident #jujutsu kaisen shibuya arc #shibuya #jjk hurt/comfort #jjk hurt #toge x you #inumaki toge #toge inumaki #toge x reader #inumaki #inumaki fluff #inumaki x reader #inumaki x you #toge #toge fluff #jjk toge #jjk inumaki #jujutsu inumaki #jujutsu toge #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jujutsu kaisen fandom #jjk fanworks #jjk fanfic #jjk fandom

[adventuringblind]

Unrequited Understanding

Norlestappen x Reader

Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort

Summary: Her father comes back into her life as a replacement race engineer. Now she can't escape him and his voice when she does the one thing she thought he couldn't touch.

Warnings: eating disorder, abuse, past child abuse, sef harm, suicide attempt

Notes: for @ashiekins, I hope you like it! I'M SORRY FOR THE ENDING I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF!

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

January

The new year had never felt so sweet. Her victory with Max and Redbull had been a dream. Max taking another championship, had the entire team walking on cloud nine.

She spent new years with her boys. It's tradition at this point to messily kiss all together as the new year comes around.

They'd done so much for her. She's come so far in her journey.

"What are you thinking about, Love?" Neither her nor Lando could sleep. Most nights, they end up talking to get the heavy thoughts to lessen a bit. It's why they get one half of the bed to themselves.

"How nice it feels to know I'm still here and loved." She rests her head on Lando's chest, the steady rythme of his heart lulling her into a restful state.

"Life wouldn't be the same without you." He kisses the top of her head as her mind finally gives into sleep.

February

Her and Max sit together at the large conference table. The factory is preparing for the new season. Energy is running high, and she can feel it crackling in the atmosphere.

Christian talks about how excited he is for the new season. 2023 is going to be theirs to dominate. Adrian has been working tirelessly to give them a title worthy car.

"We have had to make some last-minute changes to the team, unfortunately." Christian makes eye contact with her, and the good feeling she had dissolves. "Your race engineer has fallen terminally ill and is being hospitalized. The good news is we've found a last-minute replacement."

The door opens, and she feels the air leave her lungs. Her body shakes in fear of the man who takes confident strides to his chair.

Christian introduces them, clearly not understanding that they know each other very well. The man is her father, after all.

She has her mother's last name. Intent on separating herself from him entirely. He'd been doing Indie car for years. She never thought he'd make the switch after how they left things.

Max shoots her a concerned look, but she shakes it off. None of the boys had ever seen what her father looks like. They don't know she changed her last name.

She has no intention of ruining a good season because of her petty emotions. So, she says nothing.

March

It's not as bad as she thought it would be. They don't interact much aside from talking about data and while she's in the car.

The underhanded comments make her thoughts reel. The constant questioning of her skill while she's driving makes her think she's crazy. Her father is too good at making it look like a joke. People laugh with him, not understanding he means what he says.

He talks over her, cuts her off, bosses her around like she's still a child. She shrinks in on herself every time he cones around.

Stay silent and listen. That's what got her through her childhood. Just don't make him angry.

He lashes out when he's angry.

Charles is there when a nightmare causes her to be sick. A memory of her childhood that haunts her still.

The Monegasque holds her hair up and rubs her back as she sobs. He makes her a warm drink and holds her, letting her wet tears soak into his shirt.

"Do you want to talk about it, mon chéri?" He whispers gently against her forehead.

She inhales, breath catching in her throat as she does. "My dad, he - well - he used to say I'd never be anything. I sometimes dream about the memory."

"Your father and Jos can fuck off." Charles cups her face with his hands. "You are amazing. Whatever he told you is a lie. You've proven yourself to the world. Your younger self can rest knowing she got you here, that you are safe and loved and enough."

April

It's getting worse by the day. She's not sure where her father got the idea that he could order her around like she's still five and karting. It's getting annoying and ridiculous.

He's taken to snatching any food out of her hand and tossing it away into the nearest bin. What a waste. He could've eaten it himself.

He keeps telling her the car is too heavy. The data doesn't show that, but whatever. Her food being taken from her like when she was young was not how she expected the season to go. She takes to not eating because it's easier than fighting with him.

Her physio keeps asking her about why her weight seems to be plummeting recently. Even trying to get it back on her with altered meal plans. The concerns get brought up later in a meeting with Christian. The severity of her condition being made apparent.

Max watches her sob over a salad. She can tell he wants to push, asked what is causing the relapse. Understand where her head is at.

He hands her a water bottle and waits until she drinks the entire thing. "It's okay to struggle, but please don't shut us out. You don't have to do this alone, alright?"

She doesn't respond, simply collapses into his patient arms.

May

Lando and Charles happened to be passing by at the worst time. The Redbull garage still buzzing with the excitement of Max's podium and her mediocre result compared.

They saw her race engineer laying into her about every mistake. No other staff around to hear the conversation. Her head hung in shame as he pointed out every flaw.

Charles interrupts with such ease. He says her PR officer was looking for her earlier. It gets her to excuse herself from the conversation, leaving the two boys with her engineer.

"Mind your own business next time," scoffs the older man. He leaves the younger two confused.

Charles takes in Lando's mildly anxious body movements. "Something isn't right, Charles. She had that same look from when we were rookies."

Charles hums in agreement. "We'll have to wait for her to come to us for now."

June

The underhanded comments are getting progressively worse. People have started noticing that something is off about her race engineer and his behavior towards her.

Meetings are difficult and the team is walking on eggshells. Max looks ready to explode and has been ripping her father to pieces after every comment. He gets in trouble, so she asks him to stop.

She doesn't mind. Her whole life has been taking this kind of behavior from him. Max knows better than anyone that it's best to respect that kind of ask.

"I'm here if things ever get to a point where you want it to stop. I will always be here for you."

July

Her wight combined with her self-harming habits are making it harder to drive. Somewhere in her head she knows she can't continue like this. The car no longer works with her.

Christian keeps pulling her into his office and asking her about where she's at. Warning her the if she continues down this road, she won't be able to drive. That he'll be forced to find a replacement.

She cries as the boys hold her. She tells them she's not sure if she can do it anymore, that she's not cut out for this sport. They comfort and reassure her that's a lie.

Her thoughts remain stuck on being a burden to them. She gets better just to fall once more into her old habits. They have careers and goals that would be easier to achieve without her around.

Maybe her father is right about her after all.

August

The summer break brings them a much-needed reprieve from the fast-paced world they live in. She gets to spend time away from the incessant voice of the man she hates. Her boys occupying her mind instead.

There is a finality about this that she can't explain. Like things can only get better from here on out. That something in her future is going to bring her the one thing she's looking for.

Swimming in the ocean and eating what they want. They laugh and joke like nothing has changed. It's the first time in months that she feels normal.

This is how things should be. The smile on her face is genuine and the boys can all tell.

September

The cuts line her skin in an unorganized fashion. Angry, red, and bleeding. Her race had been ended early due to a collision. She'd been collateral damage; it wasn't her fault.

The media didn't see it that way. Her father definitely had no mercy when he mercilessly explained how she will never be good enough as a driver.

Hidden away in her drivers' room now, watching the blood pour from her skin. The boys know, they've seen the fresh lines. They are trying to find a way to get her to stop, but these feeling are fighting back harder than ever before. She's not sure how to fight them anymore.

Disappearing seems like the best option. The only way she'll be able to escape the dark thoughts swirling in her head. The one place her father won't be able to touch her anymore will be in her death.

She moans as the blade digs deeper. The ecstasy that accompanies addiction is a feeling she will always crave. Sick satisfaction bubbles in her throat and pour out on her eyes as red stains the floor.

This wasn't her plan, but it's okay. The pain makes all her thoughts go away. Lessens the weight on her chest. Forces her mind to focus on something else.

Everything is spinning and then it goes dark.

Warm hands and comforting words. That's all she's ever wanted.

October

The boys can see how sick she is. Max won't let her be alone in the garage. Not after she almost died.

Her physio is with her when none of the boys are. They keep asking her questions that she won't give answers to.

It's not until an altercation with her father is finally caught. He's condemning her over the radio while she's driving. They'd had an argument earlier about how she should be taking turn three.

The public execution is miserable. Still, she puts her head down and drives.

The second-place trophy has never felt heavier. It drags her arms downwards as she heads to the garage with Max. He doesn't know about what happened yet and she hopes it stays that way. She screams as she puts it away in her room.

She avoids her father as much as possible on the way to the press conference. The glimpse she does get of him leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. Christian looks angry as he presses a finger into her father's chest.

She's zoned out majority of the conference. Until A journalist with a soft voice is asking about her feelings towards her race engineer.

"It's just how things are sometimes. I wasn't listening to instructions, and he was frustrated. It happens." She shrugs it off like this is the most normal everyday occurrence. Which, in her defense, it kind of is.

Every media outlet seems to want to know more about it. Her emotions are struggling to remain contained. the inevitable sobs escape after a particularly worded question about whether his actions could be considered abuse or not.

She breaks, collapsing in the middle of the media pen. Her boys are there blocking the view of the cameras as her body fails to move.

They know now what has been happening. Her secret is out there for everyone to see.

November

Her father is fired from the team with immediate effect. Christian apologizes relentlessly for not knowing and not seeing it sooner.

The media is asked to refrain from asking about the incident and anything regarding her past race engineer. They respect it, probably wanting to avoid another meltdown in the middle of an interview.

Max, Lando and Charles are with her through every step of the way. They encourage her to talk to them and she does. It feels nice not having to hold in her family secrets.

They want to help her, and she wants to be helped.

Her race engineer for the end of the season ends up taking the job for next year. He's kind and keeps his voice calm. Her last few drives amaze everyone.

The top step of the podium has never felt so good. She didn't need to prove herself to anyone, but the confidence it brings her is hard to deny.

Closure feels even better.

December

Her therapist is proud of her for opening up to the boys more. They don't push her to spill everything, but they encourage her when she does.

The end of the year pulls them closer together. After everything that happened, she wasn't sure she was going to see 2024 come around. She's glad she does though.

She fought to the end. She made it to her peace. A place where her father can't touch.

Warm hands and gentle words for all of eternity.

January... Again

Three boys stand in front of a grave. Her favorite flowers in hand. The silence stretches between them. None of them know how to proceed.

The memory of finding her on the floor replays in Max's head. He should've known to find her right after the race. That cold September afternoon in Zandvoort. The day she bled out for one final time.

Charles and Lando assure Max it's not his fault. IT hadn't been her plan. There was no note, not even a warning sign aside from her mental health declining.

Her father, who they now know was the catalyst for her relapse, is in jail. Christian made sure to get him put away so the boys wouldn't have to worry about it.

The other drivers came to the funeral. The journalists respect their wishes not to speak on the matter. They need to heal before they can even think about trying to explain how all three of them had taken time off.

The FIA pushed the races back since Redbull needed to sort things out. The memorial on the track has been visited by everyone on the team.

They tried so hard. They wanted her to stay. They can only hope that she found what she needed in whatever lies beyond this life.

#formula 1 #f1 fanfic #max verstappen #charles leclerc x reader #lando norris #max verstappen f1 #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen x you #max verstappen fanfic #charles leclerc #charles leclerc f1 #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc imagine #lando norris f1 #lando norris x reader #lando norris fanfic #norlestappen #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc x max verstappen #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x lando norris #max verstappen x lando norris #cl16 #mv1 #mv33 #ln4 #f1 fic #f1 x reader

[saintslewis]

Reasons I couldn’t be an f1 driver, a thread:

vroom vroom, b*tch

i get angry so fast, it’s actually concerning

i would scrap everyone that says anything bad about me

if a haas, alpha tauri, afla romeo overtook me, i would actually park the car on the side and go home

i would wear the most cuntiest clothing walking into the paddock, it would be sickening

i would not be able to answer ANYONE after a race like singapore or qatar like i don’t have time for long ass questions pls 🖐🏽

if anyone says anything stupid, everyone would know by my face

i would NOT keep up with my diet. if i feel like eating ice cream before a race, I WILL

i would cuss the FIA the fuck out everyday

i would be a PR nightmare, genuinely

i’m a party girl, that’s just how i am so if y’all see me partying after qualifying, mind your business!

if the team did me wrong, i would not be thanking those mf for ANYTHING

don’t judge but girl if i got the gossip???? 🤭🤭

they would not let me race bc i would keep asking if lewis is okay

“oh there’s a safety car out bc of my crash? great, lewis can win!”

i would talk in my home language to piss EVERYONE off

i’m really just there for lewis

i would GLOAT if i got a win or a world championship, i’m NOT keeping that shit to myself 😭

the things i would post on my socials or just how i talk to my fans would be so entertaining 😭

i would openly fangirl or blush if Lewis, Charles, Jenson or Carlos spoke to me (DON’T JUDGE)

i need music to focus on something

75 laps is actual insanity, i would not be able to do that shit

i’m so petty, you crash into me, ITS OVER FOR YOU

the money????? i would buy literally everything i’ve ever wanted 😭

i would value my fans so highly, those are my babies and i’m so serious

i would lurk on my fanbase through social media, i would be one of y’all

i won’t be able to answer those long ass questions, period.

i would want my fav songs to be played rather than my national anthem (sometimes)

if i feel like twerking or making tiktoks in the paddock, i WILL

me and my headphones against the world 🫵🏽

i’m a black woman, says enough than it should (a girl can dream)

my face is full of expressions so pls 😭

my favouritism for the drivers would show very directly

staying overnight after a race to study even further for the next day??? yeah no, a bad bitch will sleep 🤣🤣

i am extremely straight forward. if i don’t wanna be somewhere, i will walk out 🤣

calling grown men “girl” >>>>>

i will be reminding everyone and their mothers that Lewis is a 7x World Champion and is called “Sir” 😋

i love my phone, i would carry it everywhere

they wouldn’t be able to handle a bad bitch on the grid other than me and Lewis (Charles and Oscar are an extra bonus)

again, really only there for Lewis

This is getting long, hope you enjoy 🤭

taglist: @thisismeracing @httpsserene @lorarri @non-stop-imagines

#pls this was so fun to do 😭 #you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to! #☆ ‧₊˚ saint’s media pen #formula 1 #f1

[siremasterlawrence]

Bloody Valentine 1 - 2

Part 1 - Steve’s Sweet Corruption

It has been an extraordinarily exasperatingly long, bloody, and a pointless battle for his true legacy of Captain America a warrior with untold levels of strength, courage and stubbornness.

That is until he came face to face with me the newest great threat of his existence but

I dare to fight him simply on the principle because I am about to break him totally in to his mind.

Steve is at his last bit of will chasing after me even though his tracking skills seem to still be in control but at the end of the day he did track me to the ends of the earth to

a abandon building.

Captain jumps up as the door slam closed in back of him with locks sliding down to pin us inside and a ray of neon red light burst all in to the area throwing it the entirety of the room.

His body so scanned to the point I can even read his mind now their is a hint of fear I can sense it and I will take full advantage of him now and forever soon enough he will learn a lesson.

Captain America makes a crucial mistake by racing in to the hall way, he is greeted by a hoard of soldiers I uses my magic to force them to be slaves so deeply in love with me that fight their hero.

“Well…well…well Captain America “

“It’s time to give up Bloody Valentine”

“Why must you be so upright, so upstanding?”

“It is the right thing “

“Ugh! Fuck this Boy Scout”

“Do you comprehend your evil at all?”

“Evil? Mwahahahahaha you fool!”

“You will never win…I won’t let you “

“So you think so? Who are you really Captain?”

“I know so! It ends tonight! I am a hero “

“Mwahahahahaha “

“What is so funny?”

“You walk in to my trap so eagerly and easily”

“Big Mistake! SLEEP!”

“What are…..Yes”

“Take a seat Captain “

“This is your prison until I say so”

“Why am I in a jail cell? Let me out !”

“This is your punishment until your join me”

“I am not evil”

“Yes you are “

“Fuck that “

“You are a asshole”

“You cannot win”

Steve is restless in a prison jump suit pacing through the room walking back and forth all over the room because he is scared but yet on some level he is quiet impress I can tell but he bounces back.

Hopping on to the bed they laid for him he is staring upward peering through the window gates and is amazed to see that through the window is a desert storm of hell being put forth.

There are two eyes shaped in to the sky so wide and bright he could see this is all vivid as in a dream and a wave of calmness toon over him he is hit on with these power red flames consuming the jail.

I project my image in to his mind standing in front of him as his Captain America uniform appears on to his body as he walks toward me and takes his time grabbing the prison bars.

I taunt him a bit as he reaches ever forward taking my wrist grabbing on to me hard as if to say you are not free and you will pay for this and I smack his hands away to his shock he lets go.

I crack up yet again touching his forehead as he falls backwards to the ground and he backs up but I dig for the keys slipping them in to the key hole and I enter the jail cell as stood far above him.

I knelt down next to him planting a kiss on his lip as he is completely horrified on one level but on another he is slowly crawling up to obsessing over me and I start to stand up from my position.

He grows a bit more balls taking hold of my collar pining me down to him as we kiss a bit more and we start to make out fanning the flames as it explodes in utter consumption of his body.

“What are you doing to me?”

“You should be grateful”

“I saved you “

“I owe you “

“Your life “

“I am your king”

“Your morals are transforming “

“Shifting it “

“Bad is good “

“Good is bad”

“I was living a lie”

“Correct! You are always wrong”

“You will serve me”

“You are my Captain”

“I am your King and you will bend the world to my will.”

“Strip your clothes off”

“Replace them with these “

“Yes My King”

“Stand back there will be a explosion “

“Meet me at the plane”

Part 2 - Bucky’s Heart Broken Release

Steve is so happy in the background of the aircraft quickly exchanging his clothes for something new and the outfit I pick is so fit I mean.

He really is fucking fit but I will fuck him very soon after he saved his blasted friend Bucky Barnes and Steve takes boss shield flipping jn to the air.

He lands on the roof he crashes in to the tier of the glass roof with shards flying down in to the area everywhere but he does a super hero landing and he throws the shield.

He is getting Bucky’s attention who stares up at Steve and he rises up walking to the bar and Steve smirks as he turns calling his attention to the hallway way.

The guards are spread on to the floor of the prison leaving them in a sea of gas because Steve uses his keys to the gate of the jail cell door.

Bucky walks up giving Steve a hug but he has other ideas pinning Bucky to the jail cell as they start to kiss and my energy transfer in to him.

“My King, may I ask a question?”

“Yes slave “

“May I recruit a friend”

“You mean Bucky”

“Yes! How did you know?”

“He is your best friend “

“He needs to be free “

“He has had so much trauma “

“I am aware of his damage”

“Don’t worry Steve”

“Why Master?”

“Here is the plan”

“Oh My God!”

“How did you?

“Why did you kiss me?

“Because it’s true “

“I love you buddy “

“Me too!”

“We are friends Bucky”

“I want more but you “

“I can’t what “

“He loves me”

“I love him”

“You do too”

“I don’t…I love you “

“You say it…try it again”

“I love him”

“I am your Master Lawrence “

“Because I am your God”

“Yes Master! I am your God”

The end

#chris evans #steve rogers #evil captain america #sebastian stan #bucky barnes #evil Bucky Barnes #reprogramming #mind control #hypnosis #bloody valentine #hypnotic love

[smoooothoperator]

What A Shame

05: The Winner Takes It All

Driver! Charles Leclerc x Singer! OC (Juliette Morelli)

Exes to Lovers, Forced Proximity, Childhood Sweathearts

Summary: things are starting to calm down? or is it just the calm before the storm?

Words: 3.1k

warnings: Charles being a lost puppy, Juliette being Meryl Streep for some secons (if you understood the reference tell me), flashbacks are on italics

Official Playlist

Masterlist

previous part | next part

a/n: hey! you just got a free chapter today because is frstive where I live so that means no classes yay!

Every interaction is very welcomed!!!!

🏎️

I walked out of her room. I had a chance to talk with her, but that didn't go how I wanted.

Just when I thought that we were on the same page, talking about my regrets and that I still love her, she just pushed me away.

"What did I do wrong?" I frowned looking at the ground.

I walked through the corridors going outside towards the garden, needing time alone to think. For a moment I saw my Juliette, the one that used to place a band on my thigh and calmed me immediately. The one that smiled and all worries disappeared. For some minutes I had that woman back with me.

But it was just an illusion.

Julitte Morelli is no longer the little girl I fell in love with, she's no longer the next door neighbors' daughter that came to the same school I was, she's no longer the girl that came to cheer for me during all the karting races.

She's a different woman that had matured because I broke her heart. And I'll never forgive myself for doing that.

"Thank God you woke up in time" Carlos said walking towards me. "Pierre was searching you"

I turned around and looked at him. I don't know what shocked him the most, how red were my eyes trying to hold the tears or that I was a functional man after drinking god knows how many glasses of whiskey last night.

"Mate, are you alright?" he frowned, walking closer to me.

"I talked with her" I said, taking a deep breath, smiling weakly. "And… God. I just hurt her so much"

Carlos looked at me and his gaze changed. Again, he's looking at me trying to show his big brother instinct.

"At least now you know it" he sighed.

"No, no… You don't understand" I said shaking my head. "I read her notebook, her lyrics, her poems… She said she had a lover but in that notebook the only name there was mine"

"Well, good for her that she had a lover! She deserved it just after you fucked up everything" he frowned looking at me confused.

"She still loves me" I said. "She… God, how can someone like her, after everything I did… How can someone like her love me?"

I was questioning everything. Every choice I made came to my mind as a list.

The first contract with Ferrari. Sure, it was my dream. I was the second driver but I had Sebastian Vettel as my teammate. The best mentor I could even imagine.

Then Anthoine died. I fought hard that weekend to make him proud, even if that meant no sleep and study every previous race I could. That meant not sleeping with her in bed. First bad decision.

Then Ferrari showed me the contract of the first driver. Everything I ever wanted was in front of my eyes. Wrong, it was something I dreamed about and I promised her to accomplish it with her next to me. Second bad decision.

Being the first driver meant being a leader, fighting hard. I needed to spend more time on the simulator and on the headquarters, away from home and barely going to see my family and my girlfriend. Third bad decision.

I signed for more seasons with Ferrari, rejecting all the contracts other teams showed me promising things and warning me. I didn't believe their words, I defended my team with all my heart. Fourth bad decision.

I never leaned on her anymore, I got distanced and locked myself in the simulator room and did everything Ferrari told me to do. She showed me support and I never appreciated it. Fifth and worst decision.

But the worst decision I took was pushing her away, breaking her heart just because Mattia told me to do that. The worst decision I made was choosing Ferrari over her. Choosing a team that tortured me instead of a person that loved me.

"She hates me, Carlos" I sighed. "And she has every right to do that. I promised her so many things and broke all the promises"

"For example?" he asked me, leading me to sit on a bench that had views to the vineyard.

"That I would never push her away, that I would let her be by my side… That I would marry her" I sighed. "I even wrote it on the final lines of one of the songs she wrote. That promise sounds everytime I hear it, reminding me of that broken promise"

I saw Carlos nodding, taking a deep breath and crossing his arms. The moment I stopped coming to the paddock with Juliette he never asked what happened. He just stood there, looking at me.

"What happened?" he asked, leaning on the door of my room.

"Huh? With what?" I frowned looking up from my phone and leaving it on my lap.

"Did you leave her in Monaco? Is she sick or something?" he asked worriedly.

"Oh, no. She won't come back" I answered looking back at my phone. "We broke up last month"

He stood there on the door, looking at me, scanning me with his eyes. I didn't look worried, like it was the most normal thing on Earth. I mean, a break up is normal. But he knew that it wasn't normal with us. He knew that something was wrong.

"Just say whatever you want to say" I sighed heavily. "I know that all these years you had many things that you wanted to tell me. Go on"

"Just to resume everything… You are an idiot" he said, shrugging his shoulders. "Like, a big one. You were so selfish, so greedy. Just because you were in Ferrari, it didn't mean that you were the king. You are not Michael Schumacher, you are Charles Leclerc. You really believed that the nickname they gave you was your destiny"

I swallowed thickly hearing him talk. But I have to stay still, it was my turn to listen to him, to face the consequences of my mistakes.

"You turned down big opportunities just because you loved red" he said. "You never listened to the warnings, to the friendly comments. You kept defending a team that always let you down always blaming yourself for the mistakes"

"I know" I said, looking at my hands. "That's why I left, because I got tired of them"

"But you did that too late" he frowned. "And don't tell me that Ferrari was your childhood dream. Ferrari was the dream of everybody that was on the grid, only a few of us were lucky enough to dress in the red suit. But you took it too far, mate. You made unnecessary sacrifices for them. And now look where you are. It was about damn time that after all this years you faced her"

I sigh and close my eyes, letting my head fall down defeated. Yeah, it was about time that I faced her and confronted all my mistakes.

"But now it's too late, Carlos" I sighed. "Even if I recognize and accept my mistakes, she won't want me back"

"And you deserve that" he scoffed. "You deserve it for being so stupid ad blind"

"I know" I sighed.

I got up and took a deep breath, brushing my hair and looking inside the building. I have to talk with Valerie, the one that might know how to fix this.

I searched for her around, guessing that she would be somewhere here.

"Valerie… Can we talk?" I asked her once I found her, surrounded by a couple of her bridesmaids in her room to get ready.

"Is it urgent?" She frowned. "I mean… I have tk get the last things ready"

"Please" I sighed, holding the handle of the door. "It is"

She sighed and looked at all the girls around her, understanding the gaze she gave them and walked out of the room, making me move a little to let them pass by.

"What did you want to talk about?" she sighed looking at how I sat on a chair close to her.

"Just… About Juliette" I mumbled. "She will never forgive me, right?"

"I mean… You fucked up pretty bad" she shrugged her shoulders. "But maybe you two need to talk"

"I tried, actually" I sigh. "The first time went pretty bad and the second try… Just when I thought that we were talking peacefully she just pushed me out of the room"

"You know her, Charles-"

"No I don't" I frown. "The Juliette Morelli I met this weekend is not my Juliette, is someone else. And I know I made her like that, you don't have to remind me. I just… I don't know how to talk with this her right now"

"Try to sleep with her" she shrugged. "Make her jealous, mad… Whatever to get her attention. Just don't go to her trying to talk because she will get anxious and get her walls up"

"Are you crazy?! I can't sleep with her, not this way!" I exclaimed, like if I was offended.

"Then make her jealous" she sighed. "I know deep inside her she still loves you. You just have to take your Juliette out of this Juliette"

I took a deep breath and nodded. Make her jealous. Okay, maybe I can do that. Right? Maybe dance with someone at the wedding, talk with them while Juliette is near.

I can make her jealous too, right? Yeah, I can.

"Okay, yeah" I nodded. "Your sister is single? Maybe I can talk with her?"

"Stay away from my sister, you idiot!" she laughed.

I chuckled and nodded, getting up and hugging her. I have to get ready, the lunch will be soon and then after that I'll be too busy.

"Charles, can you come please?" Pierre sighed, calling me.

I nodded and walked towards him, frowning when I saw his worrying face.

"Don't tell me you are having second thoughts, please" I begged. "Because then I'm going to kill you"

"No! No, no, is that…" he sighed. "The string quartet that was going to play in the church… Well, there won't be a string quartet anymore"

"Fuck me" I groaned. "No fucking way! They just canceled on the wedding day!"

"Well… Talk with Juliette" he sighed. "Maybe she can sing?"

"Dude, no" I frown. "She's going to kill me if I do that!"

"Please? Just… God, I don't want Valerie to be sad! She had a list of songs she wanted to be played during the wedding! And there's just enough time for Juliette to try them!" he begged, making me sigh and nod.

"Okay, okay… Give me the goddamn list" I sighed. "Why the hell did they call you, by the way? I'm the one that organized that, I thought they were professionals''

"At least you didn't pay them yet" he shrugged his shoulders, sending me a text message with the list of songs. "That's what happens when you give a chance to someone that is a friend of a friend of a friend"

"Whatever" I signed. "They were friends of my piano teacher"

Pierre looked at me nodding, laughing.

"If you weren't my best man and all your songs weren't depressing I would have asked you to play at the wedding" he joked.

"Fuck you, mate! Those signs have many fans" I laugh punching his arm. "Well… I guess I'll go talk with Juliette… Wish me luck"

"Yeah, you'll need it" he joked, making me roll my eyes and walk out of the room.

"Fucking great" I groan.

I prayed that she was in her room just like before. I prayed that she would let me in even after she pushed me out of it.

"Juliette?" I sigh knocking on her door. "Juliette, I need to talk"

I heard rushed steps and then she opened the door. Her hair was wet, body wrapped with a silk robe. No bra. Fuck me.

"What you don't understand about me telling you that I don't want to talk with you?" she frowned.

"The string quartet won't come to the wedding. I need you to sing, or play the guitar or the piano. Whatever that makes music" I said nervously. "Just… Don't do this for me but do it for Valerie"

She looked at me and I felt little. I tried to breathe deeply, standing there in front of her.

"What songs?" she sighed and I felt myself smile a little. "And you better make sure that there's a guitar or a piano on the church after lunch so I can practice"

"Of course" I nodded. "I'll send you the songs… You still have the same number?"

"Yeah" she nodded and I took a deep breath. "Just give me times and I'll do whatever I can"

"I'm sure you'll do it amazing" I said smiling and I saw that she tried to not smile.

Just relax, please. Smile at me, Juliette. Let me see my Juliette.

"Thanks" she nodded. "I'll search the scores, I prefer if there's a piano"

"Yeah, okay" I nodded, sighing.

She won't smile at me anymore.

🎤

I took a deep breath after closing the door, then I heard the bell on my phone, making me sigh when I read the contact name I never changed.

Charles❤️: Guests entry something simple, whatever you can play on the piano is fine

Entry (bridesmaids and groomsmen first, groom with his mother and bride with her father): A Thousand Years, is around 5 minutes

For the exit Valerie wanted Wings by Birdy

I rub my eyes and brush my hair with my fingers. I'll let him in read, I really don't want to talk to him nor text him. But he kept messaging.

Charles❤️: I'll be on the church trying the keyboard

Just in case you want to come and try it by yourself

I groan and lock the phone, leaving it on the bed. Why did I never change his contact name?

I looked at the phone, the only source of light in the room. A week went by, and he didn't call yet.

"Maybe he's just busy" I mumble.

A week ago he broke up with me. A week ago he came to me and told me he wanted to break up, that we weren't working at all anymore, that I was distracting him.

Of course I didn't believe him. He's stressed with this season and needs to focus, maybe he just had a bad race and needed to get all his stress off with me so he said the first thing that came into his mind.

I waited days for a text, then the days became weeks, the weeks became months. I waited every hour for a text of him telling me that he misses me, that he loves me and that he regrets breaking up with me.

But that text never came to my phone. That text never showed up in my notifications, his name never came again.

I sighed, shaking my head, and got ready to get out of my room.

I wanted to go to the restaurant and eat lunch, I really wanted to, my mind wanted to go. But my legs and my heart had other plans, making me go to the church and accepting the fact that he was there, maybe alone playing the piano.

Music came to my ears when I was near the building, piano notes. He was playing, sitting in front of the keyboard with his eyes closed and fingers working all over the keys. It was a sad song, one that you want to hear whenever something is wrong, when someone hurts you.

"You improved" I said walking closer, trying to keep the sadness that song brought me.

"I'm a verified artist in Spotify after all" he said, stopping the music and looking at me with a sad smile. "It's all yours"

He got up and let me sit on the chair. Something deep inside in my heart wanted him to tell me why he composed a sad song, why he played it right now.

I just want answers.

I sigh and sit on the chair, trying the keyboard, playing the songs I'll play at the wedding.

How ironic it is that the song I would have chosen to be played at my dream wedding is the one I'll sing in my best friend's wedding and with the man that broke my heart, the one I wanted to marry, right in front of me.

"It's nice" I nodded, standing up and turning off the keyboard. "I guess I have to be earlier, just to warm up. See you later"

I started to walk away, but then he held my wrist, making me close my eyes and take a deep breath.

"Thank you" he said, and I just nodded.

"This is for Valerie" I said, moving my wrist away from his grip. "Don't get the wrong idea"

"You know that's not true" he whispered, trying to hold my hand. "Juliette, you know that we belong together-"

"Don't" I said, turning around. "Don't make me laugh, is not the right place to lie, you know? On a church" I scoffed, looking around.

"Juliette, please… Let me talk" he begged, those green eyes looking at me with anxiety.

"I don't want to talk about the things we've gone through, Charles" I sighed, closing my eyes. "There's nothing more to say"

"Juliette…" he sighed, and I just asked myself how many times he said my name this weekend.

"You know… I just thought that I belonged to your arms" I said, smiling weakly. "That you were home, that you would be the last person that could hurt me. But I was so stupid, a fool,an innocent girl in love"

I heard Charles taking a deep breath. I just want to let my anger go, all the anger in my heart wants to come out.

"I don't want to talk about this because it makes me feel sad" I whisper. "And I know you hate seeing me sad, so please. Leave me…"

"I was there" he interrupted me, taking me by surprise.

“What?” I mumbled.

"I went, I went to some of your concerts, I followed your award shows, I watched every movie you worked in even if I had to watch you making out with someone else that wasn't me! I was there but I couldn't be there! Because I was so afraid of what could happen, Juliette. I was afraid if someone saw us, if someone saw me. I even wrote on papers everything I wanted to tell you all those times, I still have the papers. I just… Please, Juliette… Let me talk"

taglist

@lestappenloverr @racinggirl @roni-midnights @livster @kakorrhaphiphobia @starkeyellow

#f1 #f1 x y/n #f1 x oc #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 drabble #f1 serie #formula 1 fic #formula 1 drabble #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine

[mysticpandaninja]

Just a phone call away

Summary:

a bad night leads you to a late-night phone call to your boyfriend.

Notes:

Y/N/ - Your Name

H/C - your hair color.

This is my first attempt at something

like this, so please be nice. Hope you enjoy it

The idea came to me at 3:00 a.m.

Ignore any mistakes.

Warnings:

discussion of depression

The reader has a small panic attack.

And

some language.

HOOK x-reader

You tossed, turned, flipped, and flopped all over your bed. Nothing felt comfortable. It seemed like your bed was seven times too small, despite it being a queen-sized bed with all your favorite plushes beside you and the softest blanket ever around you. But tonight, it felt like it was suffocating you, and you felt like you wanted to jump out of your skin. Nothing felt like it fit your skin or your clothing Your room felt small and confining. You took a deep breath and tried to calm your racing heart.

You were exhausted from trying to fall asleep, but your mind was racing and your heart was pounding. You knew that you needed to calm down, but you just couldn't.

So you got out of bed, put on a hoodie over your pajama shirt, dug around, put on a pair of sweatpants, and headed for the front door, remembering to grab your house keys and phone.

You began to walk around your neighborhood, trying to clear the dark thoughts from your mind, which had been increasingly difficult in the last few days. You were missing your boyfriend; he was off in another state. Living his dream as a professional wrestler.

You had thought about calling him but talked yourself out of it.

As you got farther away from your house, you felt yourself getting more anxious because your stupid brain decided to break down at the worst time. Making everything worse.

You take a deep breath and try to focus on your surroundings, but your thoughts keep racing. You decide to take a shortcut and cut through a nearby park, hoping the fresh air will help clear your head.

It did not.

You had forgotten how creepy the park was at night. And legally, you weren’t allowed to even be in the park at this hour.

“I fucking hate this. Why am I always like this?" you ask yourself as you begin to walk toward the Seven Eleven, the only place that’s open at such a late hour, and you could at least get a snack or something there.

Maybe then your brain would shut up with the invisible insults.

Carbs, junk food, and red dye 40 are all the eye can see; you weren’t in a good place for retail therapy. and you don’t even care right now if you were seen breaking a self-imposed diet. It is three in the morning, and if it got your mind off the dark thoughts, you would do anything.

After purchasing a variety of different things, you sat down on the curb at the entrance to the store.

You felt that twinge of panic hit you again.

Despite every effort you made, you felt a panic attack incoming.

You took a few moments to try and breathe normally, trying to calm yourself down.

You thought of all the things you should be doing in life, how you needed to find a job, and how you felt like you were failing at life. You stayed on the curb, feeling lost and overwhelmed.

Tears are now making their way down your cheeks with no other option left. You dug your phone out of your pocket and dialed your boyfriend’s number.

You hated to call him this late. You know that he’s a professional wrestler; he’s always traveling; you have no idea when he went to bed.

The last time you talked to him was a brief text exchange before you went to bed the first time at ten. It felt rude to call him at three a.m.

He is probably asleep. And he does not need his annoying partner to wake him, because what if he loses sleep talking to you and gets injured in a match because you can’t control your emotions?

You tell yourself this as you start to call him and hang up twice.

as you brush a piece of your H/C hair from your face and wipe the tears from your eyes on your sleeve and your phone rings.

You could tell it was him due to the photo that flashed across your phone screen; it was at AEW’s last show in your hometown in June. You stood next to him, his FTW belt around your waist, his arms around you in a soft embrace, and you were smiling. He was doing his usual scowl, but you could tell by the corners of his eyes that he was secretly smiling.

It felt like it was years ago. You felt a rush of nostalgia wash over you as you remembered the moment. You both have been super close ever since you met in elementary school, and since high school, you have been dating, and when you entered college, he joined AEW.

You wish you could’ve stayed in that moment forever.

Who was that smiling person in that photo, and where are they now?

You took a few deep breaths before answering.

There was a slight rustle on the line as the phone was picked up.

“Hello?” came the sleep-filled voice of your boyfriend

You smiled and took a deep breath.

“Hey, I’m sorry to wake you up." You tell him you felt bad for waking him; you knew he had a big match tomorrow night.

There was a pause before he replied, his voice still groggy.

“It’s okay; what’s wrong?” he asks.

“What makes you think there is something wrong?”

You hear him yawn.

“Because you called me two times and hung up.”

Damn, are you that easy to read?

“Do you want the full story or the CliffsNotes ?” you ask him

You heard him sit up.

Smiling You imagine how his usually messy hair looks right now; it makes you chuckle.

“Full story, but can I ask a few questions?” He asked as you heard him yawn again.

“Sure.”

You felt even more guilty that he was awake instead of sleeping.

“First things first, are you at home? If so, what sounds like it will explode behind you?” He asks with slight concern.

You giggle softly

"Um, babe, that is a diesel truck beside me. I am not at home."

You hear him sigh.

“Y/N, please tell me you aren't walking around your neighborhood at four in the morning."

You stayed quiet.

You fumble with the zipper on your hoodie and say,

"I did not want to be at home right now, Tyler.”

“What do you mean you didn’t want to be home? what happened?” he said, sounding more concerned now.

Not wanting to lie to him, you took a deep breath.

“I just have had issues," you say flatly.

“Like with the house or something else?”

You bite your lip and try not to cry again.

“Something else—my mental health.”

You hear him take a deep breath.

“Where are you right now?”

He knows you too well for him to assume that you will not stray too far. When he lived in town, you would be a frequent guest at his house at all hours.

You would often stay for dinner and spend hours talking with him about anything and everything and laughing until your sides hurt.

Things were always easy with him. You didn’t have to put on a different persona to make him like you, like you did with other people.

“I’m at the Seven-Eleven by that thrift store your mom liked; do you remember that one?”

He chuckles.

“The one that always looked like it was going to fall any minute, baby?”

the building, which looked like it was built in the 1950s. It always looked like it was going to collapse in on itself with its peeling paint and old cigarette ads painted on the side.

You remember the time in high school when you went inside and got a slushie and candy, and he waited outside, not wanting to come in.

He was embarrassed and said he was too cool to buy something from a convenience store. He lasts five minutes before he follows you around the store like a shy puppy, handing you random things from the shelves. You both ended up spending over twenty dollars on junk food because of him.

You teased him about it then, and you still tease him about it today.

"We haven't hung out like we used to Y/N in what a hundred years?" He said he was no longer sounding tired; in fact, he was laughing, which made some of your guilt vanish.

You laughed, but that twitch of panic rose back up.

You're an idiot. Why did you think back to that day?

Why is it that when you are happiest, your brain sends you darkness and fear?

He must’ve picked up on your nerves because he suddenly asks you with a voice full of love and concern,

“Hey baby doll, are you okay?”

the same tone he used to use all those years ago.

You didn’t even notice that you had started crying.

You say, swallowing forcefully,

"Bad, just memories."

You remember that day very well.

**Flashback**

You had just turned fifteen, and your life sucked.

Tyler was busy a lot more, and he couldn’t hang out with you as much in between his lacrosse matches and his training to be a wrestler.

People were starting to notice how handsome he was.

So he was also preoccupied with getting dates.

Leaving you in the shadows of his memories.

You were by his locker one day after your infamous shopping trip.

“Do you want to hang out after school?” you asked him, but you might as well be talking to a blank wall.

“Tyler?” you asked again.

After several failed attempts to get his attention, you got fed up and dropped your books into your locker with a loud thud, scaring him half to death.

You laughed at his reaction.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” he said

“It varies by the doctors I visit. Why?” you teased.

He just rolls his eyes.

A small smile appears on his face as he says,

"You're such a weirdo.”

You laugh and stick your tongue out at him.

"Yep.”

you say, popping the “p”

“So Tyler, are you still going to come to the party I’m planning?”

You couldn't contain your excitement for the party; it was the first time you had ever planned a real party, and you wanted Tyler there.

"Sure, I will be there.”

A smile spreads across your face as you quickly say,

“I'll see you on the fourteenth at seven p.m. Don't forget.”

You both left in separate ways at the next bell.

Everything was fine until you were walking toward your next class when you heard Tyler talking to someone.

“Hey Tyler, where is your shadow?” one of his friends said.

Tyler shut his locker and looked at his friend, confused.

“What are you talking about, Starks?”

You knew exactly who Ricky Starks was.

The guy is a smug, arrogant jackass, but Tyler wasn't aware of that. He and Tyler, however, are training together at the same wrestling school.

so you had to tolerate him.

“Y/N, I mean, are they your shadow?” Ricky said.

You were used to Ricky’s attitude. He was your ex, after all.

"They are probably on their way to a math class or something.”

Tyler said with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Well, don’t you find it freeing not to have that annoying, clingy friend of yours around?" Ricky said bitterly

You had gotten used to Ricky hating you and how he would tell you how much you got on his nerves every day or anytime you talked to him about anything you were interested in.

Everything was your fault.

What you weren’t used to was what Tyler said next with that all-too-familiar laugh you had grown to love.

“Yeah, I guess it is nice; they were kind of obnoxious earlier about some party they wanted me to attend. Y/n is a great friend but they can be annoying I hate it when they get like that. ”

You didn’t stick around for the rest of their conversation.

You tell yourself you are hearing things as you grab your backpack from your locker and head home. but you heard every word he said.

You couldn’t stomach being in school any longer, nor could you stand to look at Tyler anymore.

Once you made it home, you sat on your bed and started to cry.

You didn’t leave your bed for what felt like three days.

You didn’t talk to Tyler at all; you ignored his texts and calls, and you skipped classes. And you didn’t even attend the party you planned and were so excited for.

Until the night after the party, when you heard a rock hit your window, one became two, then three.

“Y/N!” you heard a voice yell from outside.

You sighed, got out of your bed, and went to the window.

It was Tyler standing outside in a white hoodie and black jeans. He was standing with his arms crossed.

He looked like he was trying to look intimidating, but he kind of looked like a kid who was pouting about being put in time-out.

“What do you want?” you tell him.

“To talk, let me in,” he says

Sighing You reluctantly go downstairs and open the door, letting him in.

He looks at you and grimaces.

“Y/N what is going on? Why are you avoiding me?” he asks.

You fold your arms and look at him.

"I didn't want to be annoying and obnoxious.”

He stands silent.

“And FYI, that party I was so excited for was your surprise birthday party; I hope you enjoyed it last night.”

Tyler's shoulders slumped and he let out a long, heavy breath

“I’m guessing you overheard Ricky?”

You hated this because Tyler was your best friend.

You hated that you skipped his birthday,

which you had been so excited to celebrate with him like you always did, but for the first time in seventeen years, you missed his birthday.

All because of a stupid overheard conversation.

Everything was planned by you and his mother, and you actually got him a gift that was not just a gift card.

But now his long-forgotten birthday gift sits under your bed.

As you shifted your weight from one foot to the other, you looked at him and said what had been on your mind since that day.

“Yeah, I did. I can't believe you would say something like that. I feel so betrayed and hurt right now."

He runs his hand in his hair.

“Y/N you know I’d never want to hurt you, and I’m sorry.”

You rubbed your wrist nervously.

You noticed him looking at you.

"Hey, Y/N are you okay?” he asks.

His brown eyes stare daggers into you.

"Y/N, talk to me. What's going on?" He whispers.

"I thought you hated me, so I let you have your space.”

He steps closer to you.

“Y/N I couldn’t hate you if I wanted to."

You took a deep breath and stood eye-to-eye with him.

“Then why did you say it then?”

He doesn’t say anything, but he holds your cheek, tilting your head up and running his thumb over your cheek as he leans in and kisses you.

As he breaks the kiss, he says.

“Because I am an idiot, Y/N.”

You chuckled shyly, pulled him into a hug, and said

“That’s an understatement.”

He faked a hurt expression.

“You are so cruel, Y/N.”

The next day, you finally got to give him his birthday gift.

You immediately walked up to him by his locker.

And you shoved a neatly wrapped gift into his hands.

“This is a large box for a gift card, Y/N.” he remarks.

“Just open it, please.”

He opens the gift and looks at you, confused.

“ you got me a necklace?” he asks

“Did you even look at it?”

He gives you a small, annoyed look.

He pulled the gold necklace from the box and examined the small gold cross at the end.

“How much did this cost?”

You put your hands on your hips and look up at him.

“Your welcome, by the way.”

He leans down and kisses you softly.

“Thank you, Y/n I love it.”

*End flashback*

You had been staring off into space when you heard Tyler over the phone.

“Uh, sweetheart? Hey! I'm sorry, I don’t mean to yell, but you were staring into space. mio adorabile.”

He sighs softly.

“Turn on FaceTime so I can see you, Angel; you're scaring me.”

You turned on your FaceTime and were greeted by a bed-headed Tyler staring at you with concerned eyes.

“Is that my hoodie?” he asked with a smile

You couldn’t hide the small blush on your face.

“Maybe it is.”

Everything about this made you miss him even more.

“Y/N it’s late, baby."

You knew he was right You could see the sun starting to rise in the sky.

You gathered your shopping bag and began walking home, still on FaceTime with Tyler.

“I think the problem tonight was honestly that I missed you, and it brought back the memory of us in high school when I thought you hated me-.” You start to tell him before he interrupts you.

"I never hated you, doll.”

You know that now, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t replay in your head on bad nights like tonight.

You make it back to your house, sit on your bed, and plug in your phone for a much-needed charge as you lay down on your bed with half a protein bar hanging out of your mouth.

Tyler laughs at seeing you.

And you laugh too.

“Hey Tyler?” you ask him

"Yeah, mio adorabile?”

Placing a small kiss on your phone, you smile, softly saying

“Thank you for staying awake with me and just putting up with my crazy ass sometimes.”

He exhales and looks at you with a serious look.

“Y/N, I would stay awake all day if I knew it would make you happy, and I do not “put up with you..” Sweetheart, I accept the fact that you have flaws; you accept mine. I do agree about you being crazy, but in a good way, because only you would be crazy enough to sit outside a convenience store at three in the morning. Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?”

You love how protective he is over you at times.

"Okay, baby, no more late-night trips to Seven-Eleven.”

He laughs and then kisses his phone the same way you did.

"Hey, did you just kiss your phone?” you asked him.

"Yeah, so?” he replied.

“There are probably a million germs on our phone screens.”

The face he makes causes you to laugh.

"Okay, Y/N, you are sleep-deprived because that was disgusting, and you look like you are going to fall asleep any second, Doll.”

You nod sleepily.

"Goodnight, love." you both say as you hang up with each other and drift off to sleep.

#hook x reader #aew hook #handsome devil #all elite wrestling #I TRIED

[deerlottie]

NAT ANGST I THOUGHT ABOUT

Tw-flashback about Nats shitty dad, safe word use, mention of abuse, and she gets very scared and the end is sort of hurt/comfort

Thought of it being one of the first times nat and R have sex and they’re still figuring out each others kinks and their dynamic(s). nat going into it like “willing to try almost anything” but then quickly realizing that verbal degradation takes a lot out of her and it can trigger a fight or flight response in her :((((

“uhh- fuck, RED! Sorry, fuck, i’m sorry, please stop, i can’t, please don’t touch me right now, i just need a minute, sorry”

her rushing to the bathroom with wide and frantic eyes gripping the sink trying to tell herself to get it together but she can’t get rid of the memories of her dad. The second her brain processed the words “little slut”, she felt the weight of the gun in her hands, the powerlessness of watching her dad hit her mom and then hitting her, the way she felt like her pain was limitless when he called her stupid and useless, she couldn’t get out of her head. As r approached the door wondering if it’d be helpful to go in with her or stay out here, nat quickly barges through, grabbing her clothes from around your room, avoiding eye contact the entire time.

“Listen, um, it’s been real and uh..i like you a lot, but i just remembered a thing i gotta do so i’ve gotta head out. I didn’t mean to give you blue balls or anything, but i’ll see you.”

She didn’t even believe the shit she was saying…tears were still coming down her face the whole time she was talking and she tried to give you a quick “smile” and kissed you on the cheek, but even someone without a working olfactory sense could smell the bullshit from miles away. Next time you see her, she goes out of her way to explain why she freaked out last time. Lottie had encouraged her to talk about her feelings instead of running away. Had it been up to her, she would’ve moved to another continent to avoid talking about her feelings. But she really wanted to make things work with you.

“I don’t know. I guess i had kind of a shitty life with my parents and everything and uh. I guess i just got.. scared? I was really, really scared. It like. Brought me back to somewhere i didnt wanna be.”

She doesn’t get into detail at all, but you get the gist of it well enough to understand. You apologize, thinking maybe if you had asked her in depth about what she was comfortable with, she wouldn’t have freaked out. You like her SO much. And you’d never knowingly do anything to hurt her.

Then the weeks after she talks to you, she turns into the biggest cuddlebug ever. She won’t admit it, of course, but she feels safe around you. That hasn’t happened for her in forever. A part of her is scared shitless by it, but she lets herself indulge in the simple pleasures of being held and holding people she cares about. You’re there to hold her when nat has a nightmare one night, shushing her cries and whispering to her that it’s just a bad dream and that she’s safe with you. Oh my god i love her.

oh mygod :(((((((((((( the second she says red, you stop immediately and your heart sinks. the last thing you ever wanted to do was hurt her and you feel SO guilty and ur minds racing a million miles a second while she's in the bathroom ☹️ you text her a few times after, asking if she's okay, but she never responds so you get the hint to just leave her alone but you feel sick and sosososo bad.

thinking about her sneaking into your window to come and apologize :((( you're so happy to see her again and relived to know that she doesnt actually hate you, and you give her all the time in the world to just sit in silence and figure out what to say. holding her while you two sleep that night and she's never felt safer and more secure ☹️☹️

sometimes she just needs to hold you for hours just to calm down too :((( her head gets to her sometimes and she just Needs you. ur always there to whisper reassurance in her ear and she feels like a fool for crying at the simple words but they help so much.

#natalie scatorccio thoughts 💭

[hg-deranged-edition]

My contribution to the Harringrove Relay Race! @akichania YOU ARE NEXT.

(WARNING FOR SUICIDAL IDEATION)

———

He lay across from him, fast asleep at night. Eyes fluttering gently in his sleep, off in a dream Steve would never hear about. Chest rising steadily, breaths deep and even, with the lightest hint of a snore accompanying him. Steve couldn’t help himself, he extended his hand and lightly cupped his cheek, to feel it’s warmth. Hot, as Billy usually was during his slumber.

Ever the light sleeper, Billy’s eyes instantly snapped open, mind lagging behind. When recognition flashed across his face, his eyes softened and his lips curled into the slightest smile. Steve’s heart swelled at the love he found inside them, the vulnerability he found within both assuring and terrifying. Steve knew he couldn’t really help when Billy was in trouble.

Billy murmured a sound that was probably meant to be questioning, and Steve just hushed him, trying to coax him back to sleep. Maybe curl him up into his arms so that Billy couldn’t leave. Billy just grasped his hand and held onto it, terribly, terribly gentle. Affection Steve didn’t quite deserve or earn.

With great effort, Billy’s tired mind managed to collect enough coherence to ask “’Was wrong?” and Steve cursed himself for not being able to get himself together enough to save face in front of Billy.

He hadn’t been sleeping.

Couldn’t, really.

“I’m just,” he began, “I don’t. I don’t know. I’m sorry. I’m just kinda upset.” Billy’s hand tightened ever so slightly, brow twitching together in worry. He was quiet for a moment before muttering “You’re not ‘just upset.’ You never are.” he paused, looking deeply into his eyes, and Steve found it horrible that Billy knew him so intimately when he didn’t deserve someone so… well, whatever Steven is.

Incapable. Is probably the word he’s looking for.

“You don’t gotta tell me,” Billy began anew, “but you have to know I care, right? So like, I can listen to you, even if it doesn’t make sense, and only you know what you’re talkin’ about. Gotta repay the favor and everything, right?” Steve nodded, not quite trusting himself to talk. He found the way Billy looked at him unbearable; so imploring and kind. Defenceless. It’s a beauty that suited his face, really. Billy laid their hands betwixt them on the mattress, and Steve felt a lump form in his throat.

He wanted to get closer so bad. He wasn’t quite sure he could do that without crumbling.

Despite himself, Steve felt himself speak.

“I. I’m just, I’m so sorry, fuck, Billy. I’m fuckin- dumb as shit, slow and I can’t even see what’s right in front of me, and I can’t even take care of myself.”

Billy’s face saddened, and he crawled closer to Steve. “Steven. Steve no, don’t say that, baby. You know you’re not stupid, we’ve talked about this before.” Steve hiccuped at that, and his first tear fell. “No, no I’m just. I can’t help but feel it. Dad’s right, I’m fuckin stupid as shit, I can’t do shit and I can’t even get college. I don’t understand things even if they’re repeated to me a thousand times and I- I can’t even-” at that, Billy just smushed Steve’s face into his chest, and held onto him tightly. “I don’t know what you’re on about. Your dads the dumbass, not you. It’s not your fault the man can’t explain things right and then gets mad at you for his own mistakes.” Billy pressed a kiss atop his head.

Steve just weeped at that, because Billy didn’t understand. Steve’s failure was Billy.

He completely, and utterly, failed him. Didn’t recognize that Billy needed help until it was far too late- his body having received permanent damage already and only awaiting it’s final blow. He should have noticed- should have realized that something was wrong, not clutched on so tightly to his and Nancy’s joke of a relationship. Should have gotten his head out of his ass and seen the reality in front him instead of being so damn hung up.

Because Billy was dead now. And Steve would never get him back, no matter how hard he tried, no matter how much he turned the past over in his mind.

Billy was still shushing him, arms crushing him as he only wailed harder. Couldn’t seem to be able to stop himself from crying, either, judging by the wetness seeping into Steve’s hair.

“I don’t understand,” he whispered, “baby, why are you acting this way?” His hand was petting through Steve’s hair, a thousand gentle, repeated kisses gifted like they could ease the hurt away. Steve’s head hurt from crying, the sheer force of his sobs giving him vertigo. The last time he cried that hard was a week into the future, and for this past body, it was when he was 9 years old and begging his parents to stay back home.

Eventually, Steve managed to calm back down. Belatedly he noticed that Billy had been patting his back and murmuring a lullaby. One he realized was probably among the last few remnants of his mother’s love. “Thank you,” he muttered, “for everything.” His throat was hoarse. Billy just kept singing with a slightly pained look on his face. He closed his eyes and feigned sleep.

---

When Billy’s breaths evened out and his arms loosened, Steve opened his eyes again listlessly. And did nothing. For hours.

He was tired. So fucking tired. From crying, from watching but too afraid to really touch. He was promised an eternity with his love. He couldn’t wait for it to be over.

---

He felt himself begin to slip away, eyes unfocusing through their drought. He’d probably wake up again in a moment, beholding a sleeping Billy from the start all over again. Maybe he’d be too exhausted to keep up any facade of humanity, maybe Billy would curl into him and he’d shatter all over again. Maybe he’d just observe. Silent.

In the beginning, he’d really thought he only wanted this, this last moment with Billy, for all eternity. Now he understands that this stagnant memory was never what he truly wanted from Billy. Sure, he’d wanted one last embrace with the love of his life, not for closure, though. No, never for closure. The mere thought of it repulsed him.

No, he wanted to continue on with Billy. He’d only made a pathetic display of humility, a request born from fallacy. He wanted to wake up together, light streaming from the curtains, feel the warmth of morning. Wanted to get up and bake and make coffee and crack shitty jokes with the guy. Wanted to tangle his hand in his hair and feel disgust when it came back greasy. Wanted to live a life with the fucker.

This wasn’t a life shared together. It was anything but. It was a mockery of their love, the epitome of their shared fatal flaw. It was Billy desparate for Steve to open up, to tell him what’s wrong, and Steve’s throat closing up, locking down. It was Steve getting exhausted from asking where Billy got all his bruises from, only to be met with aggression. It was Billy being on the verge of crying when Steve still held onto the agony from his last relationship and couldn’t focus on Billy’s love.

And, a few days into the future, it would be Steve not recognizing that Billy was acting wrong. That his cold demeanor was caused by more than just a petty argument.

This, this situation, was sleeping with a cooling corpse. Getting lulled back into sleep every time panic ripped through his central nervous system. Being mocked with the face of his lover caring for him, when his own care wasn’t sufficient enough. By god, he should have picked Billy up long ago, thrown him onto the backseat and driven far, far away from here. To hell with everyone else.

But it was too late now, sin rooted too deep into his foundations. This was all he had left.

He sunk his fingers deeper into Billy’s, lashes fluttering lethargically. He should be grateful. Death doesn’t feel so permanent when the star of the funeral was right next to him. Most people yearned for this moment right here, no matter how grotesque.

Still, he couldn’t wait to be dead.

Feeling Billy’s pulse thudding against his skin, Steve sunk back into sleep, hoping to dream of tomorrow before he woke up again.

#billy hargrove #harringrove #steve harrington #stranger things #billy x steve #drabble #harringrove relay race #once more imagine they are t4t and I simply did not elaborate #this was originally supposed to be part of a larger fic btw describing Steve looping through waking up at least 2 times before this and #slowly revealing the true circumstances he was in #and he was supposed to be super lovey doves in the first part start showing cracks in the second and break in the third #but in the end I lost the internal mapping I had for that version. now we have this one #this wasn’t what I was originally gonna post btw I was gonna post art but that one struggled with me too hard. ok bye!!! #suicidal thoughts tw

[skz317cb97]

Me and You Make Two

Bang Chan x Female reader

Word count: 6.5K

Synopsis: The third and final part of Not Like Me. (That's all you get I don't want to ruin anything.)

A/N: 18+ ONLY MDNI! Here it is, I'll be posting and running away now... byeeee! Warnings and smut below the cut!

Warnings: 18+ ONLY MDNI, Strong language/swearing, dry humping, oral sex (m&f receiving), deep throating/ throat fucking, unprotected piv sex (please use condoms), cream pie/ cum shot, graphic violence, gun violence, character death, I think that's everything but if I missed anything please let me know and I'll add it to the warnings asap!

It had been a month since the incident with Mr. Tate. You still cringed thinking about what could have happened if Chris had not shown up, your mind always going to worst case scenarios. It got to where you started having nightmares about that day every now and then. You had also been seeing Chris more and, in that time, the two of you had grown closer but you hadn’t given your thing, whatever it was, a title. Still even with as close as you’d grown you didn’t tell him about the nightmares. They never happened when he slept over, you weren’t sure why. You were sleeping over at each other’s places more often than not, so you didn’t see the point in worrying him over it. They were just some bad dreams. You could handle it. 

Going to work was no longer dreaded and you were glad you got to enjoy your work again. You had always loved your job. One month after Mr. Tate was fired, Mr. Nealy called you into his office. At first you were terrified you were going to get fired although you weren’t sure for what exactly. That ended up not being the case anyway. Mr. Nealy wanted to promote you to Mr. Tate’s old position. You were shocked but gratefully accepted the position that included a private office and a considerable pay raise. 

Chris was so proud of you when you told him. He came over that night with some celebratory beers and cheeseburgers. Of course, after you ate and had a couple of beers you fucked each other's brains out and fell asleep tangled together, Chris clinging tightly to you like he always did. 

The next morning when you got up you found a little note Chris had left saying he had to get to work early but to text him later. You smiled at his name signed with xoxo. You showered and got ready for your first day in your new position. Mr. Nealy showed you to your office when you got to work and gave you the rundown of some of the duties you’d oversee. Suddenly it sounded like someone let off fireworks in the office, then screaming. Mr. Nealy peeked out the door, there were people running everywhere and more fireworks. He needed to get a handle on the situation. He turned to you. 

“It’s Mr. Tate, get under that desk young lady and don’t come out until I tell you to.” Your heart was racing, you were so scared. You crawled under the desk like Mr. Nealy told you to and you heard him open the door. The fireworks, which you now knew was actually gun fire, sounded closer. He pulled the door closed behind him and approached the disgruntled man wielding a gun and bag of ammo. You grabbed your phone from your pocket and dialed Chris’ number. He answered quickly. 

“Heyyy baby girl!” Your choked sob changed his demeanor immediately.  

“What’s wrong.” More gunshots went off as Mr. Tate, your old boss, shot Mr. Nealy. 

“Was that a gun?!” Chris sounded frantic. 

“What’s going on baby girl talk to me! Was that a gun? Are you safe?” You quietly choked back your tears and whispered into the phone. 

“In my office. Mr. Tate, is shooting everyone. I’m so scared Chris.” You cried quietly under your desk as the gunfire got closer and closer. Finally, you heard your office door get kicked open and you held back a squeak.  

“I know you’re in here gorgeous can smell that perfume of yours.” Chris could hear him, he whispered into the phone as he started to make his way towards your office building, he was only a couple blocks away. 

“Stay put baby girl I’m on my way. I’m gonna get you, okay? Stay there.” You shuddered and held your breath when you saw Mr. Tate’s shoes on the other side of your desk. 

“Hiding under the desk huh? Should I tell you about all the times I fanaticized having you under there.” You thought you would be sick. Chris was still listening in. ‘That mother fucker’ he thought to himself as he sprinted down the sidewalk dodging people. Mr. Tate made his way around the desk and pulled the chair out. When he saw you, he pointed the gun under the desk. You were suddenly looking down the barrel and you closed your eyes.  

“Come out from there pretty thing.” You crawled out from under the desk but left your phone underneath with Chris still on the line. 

“Baby girl? Baby? Y/N!?” Chris was almost to your building just a little further, he had to get there. 

“There she is. I see you dressed up today, trying to make a good first impression as the boss?” You quietly shook your head as tears welled up in your eyes.  

“Oh, so you dressed up for me then?” You shook your head no and took a step back. When you did, he pointed the gun at you, and you started to cry more. 

“Please, please Mr. Tate, please don’t hurt me.” Chris had sweat and tears running down his face as he heard you pleading with the deranged man.  

“Hold on baby girl hold on!” Mr. Tate took a step towards you. 

“On your knees.” You sobbed. 

“Pleas-” He yelled. 

“KNEES NOW!” You cried and knelt like he ordered you to. Chris was running up to your building that was surrounded by police. They stopped him. 

“You don’t understand I’m on the phone with my girl, she’s up there, she’s in danger someone has to help!” Chris spoke into the phone hoping you could hear him. 

“Help is on the way baby girl help is coming just hold on!” Mr. Tate aimed the gun at your head, you closed your eyes and tears streaked down your face. 

“I love you, Christopher.” A gunshot, then another, then silence. Chris screamed in agony, listening over the phone as you were executed.  

You were startled awake, the line between reality and your dream still a bit blurred. You quickly sat up gasping for air, trembling. Chris woke up as soon as you jumped in your sleep. Tears were welling up in your eyes. 

“What? What’s wrong!?” He pushed your hair away from your face and cupped each cheek in a hand. You shook your head. 

“I... I... thought, fuck it was so real!” You started crying. He hugged you close, stroking your hair. It startled Chris, he’d never seen you cry before. 

“Was it a nightmare? What happened?” You closed your eyes and shook your head hoping the images would disappear. 

“I don’t want to talk about it, just... not right now, please? Tomorrow.” Chris nodded and laid back with you in his arms. As you started to drift back off to sleep you mumbled. 

“So real. It was so real.” He held you closer, a little tighter, and kissed the top of your head. 

“You’re okay now beautiful. I won’t let anything happen to you.” When you woke up the next morning you were relived to find Chris still in bed with you although he had you in a bear hug from behind having worried about you until he too fell back asleep. When you moved his grip tightened around you and a groggy voice spoke up. 

“Mmmnoo, staaay.” You tried to pry yourself from Chris’ grip unsuccessfully. 

“I can’t it’s my first day as the supervisor, I have to set the example and be on time.” You turned in his arms facing him. His eyes weren’t even open yet and he was pouting, you shook your head at him and kissed his full lips. He tried to pull you in to deepen the kiss but you had to stop him. 

“I’ll miss the bus and be late if I don’t get in the shower now.” Chris loosened his grip allowing you to get up as he stretched and finally opened his eyes. 

“I’ll take you.” You smiled; he was always so willing to do things for you like that. 

“You get some rest, I can just take the bus like I normally do Chris it’s no big deal.” He flopped back on your bed shaking his head. 

“Nope, there’s no way I’m letting you ride the bus your first day as the boss. Go on take your shower and I’ll take you.” You ran over knelt on the bed and kissed Chris’ lips one more time before dashing off to take your shower. While you were in there letting the hot water cascade down you, you couldn’t help but remember your terrible nightmare from the night before. The sound of gunfire and screams, the image of looking at a gun pointed at you. You’d had some bad ones but that was the worst by far.

There was one other part of your dream you kept revisiting. You had told Chris you loved him. You were about to die and your last words to Chris were ‘I love you’. Did you? Did you love Chris? Love is a big word and you weren’t even his girlfriend. He hadn’t brought up the nightmare, so you debated telling him about it. You decided that if he asked, you’d tell him about the dreams but if he didn’t then you were just going to drop it. It had only happened once, probably nerves for your first day in your new position at work. That had to be it.  

You got out of the shower, dried off, and went to your room to finish getting ready for work. Chris was up starting tea for the two of you while you got dressed. Not long after he came in with a hot cup and set it down on the vanity you were sitting at. 

“Oolong with a little clover honey, thought you might want something sweet in case you had any nerves about your first day.” You picked up the hot mug and blew on it before taking a sip. It was a perfect start to your day, the floral notes of the tea and the clover honey played well together. 

“Mmm thanks Chris it’s perfect.” He smiled and leaned down to kiss you. His plump bottom lip fit so perfectly between yours. He stood up, smoothed some of your fly away hairs, then cupped your face and ran his thumb along your cheek as he looked at you. 

“You nervous?” You were but only because of your dream, the job wasn’t much different than before other than you’d be assigning work and cross-checking others, so you knew you’d be able to handle it easily, but that damned nightmare kept replaying in your head and those last three words. I love you. 

“y/n?” You had been in your head, you hadn’t answered Chris’ question. Your head popped up and you hummed. 

“Nervous? It’s okay to be.” You shook your head and took another sip of your tea before standing. You were about to walk off and finish getting ready but Chris caught your arm and gently pulled you to face him. 

“Hey baby girl, it’s me okay? You can tell me anything.” You nodded in understanding. 

“I know, it’s okay. I’m not nervous.” He looked at you a moment not entirely convinced but if you said you were okay then he had to take you at your word. He let go and let you get the rest of your things.  

When Chris pulled up to your office building to drop you off he put the car in park and you leaned over the console and kissed him. You held his face and turned your head; you kissed him like it might be your last time. He smiled after as he sat back in his seat. 

“What was that for?” You shrugged. 

“No reason. Thanks for bringing me to work.” You went to pull the handle of the car but before you could Chris was pulling you back for another heated kiss, lips and tongue, dancing, teasing. When he pulled back again you were breathless, eyes closed chewing your bottom lip. 

“What was that for?” You mimicked his previous question to you. He gave you that slick smile of his and leaned in close so he could whisper in your ear. 

“Because you’re fucking sexy.” He placed a wet kiss on your neck and you shivered. He pulled back smiling innocently, like he wasn’t pure sex seconds before. 

“Have a good first day boss lady.” You shook your head smiling at him as you got out of the car. 

“Bye Christopher.” You laughed. 

“Bye baby girl.” When you got up to your office Mr. Nealy was waiting to show you some of your responsibilities in your new role. It didn’t take long, and he was confident in your ability to navigate the job which is why he picked you in the first place. He was right of course the whole first half of the day ran like a well-oiled machine. You assigned reports for people to verify and then you cross checked their work. It was great. Everything was moving smoothly and then it was lunch. You decided to go out for lunch, the taco truck up the street was screaming your name. On your way there you called Chris. 

“Hey beautiful! How’s being boss going?” You laughed. 

“It’s going great, it’s been a really great day. Some of my people have found discrepancies and everything I’ve gone over has been perfect.” You were beaming, you were so happy, the nightmare you’d had the night before miles away from your thoughts at that point. 

“That’s great baby girl, I’m so proud of you.” You were glad he wasn’t there because you blushed when he said that. You weren’t sure why, he complimented you all the time, there was just something about saying that it felt very intimate. You still weren’t sure what you were to Chris or what he was supposed to be to you, but you knew he still had the ability to make butterflies erupt in your stomach. 

“Thanks Chris. I’m gonna grab some lunch I’ll talk to you later.” He said bye and you hung up with Chris just as it was your turn to order. You got two of your favorite and ate them on your walk back to the office. When you were walking into the building lobby you almost froze in your tracks. Sitting in the waiting area of the guest desk, was Mr. Tate and he didn’t look happy. You quickly ducked your head down and hurried to the elevators before he could see you.  

When the doors closed you let out the breath you’d been holding. It was just a coincidence he probably wasn’t even there to be seen at your company. There were multiple other businesses that used this professional building, he could be waiting for an interview with any of those places. It was just a random happenstance. You hurried to your office when you got up to your floor and tried to busy yourself to keep your mind off of the man waiting downstairs.  

About thirty minutes later you were just starting to calm down when you heard what sounded like raised voices. You stuck your head out of your office and everyone else was looking in the direction of one of the team meeting rooms, where the shouting was coming from. You listened and even though the voices were muffled through the door you recognized Mr. Tate’s voice as he continued to shout at Mr. Nealy. You couldn’t make out their conversation, but it was obvious Mr. Tate was upset. You went back into your office and shut the door. Your heart was racing. Why was he here? Why was he yelling? You remembered your nightmare and started to panic. You quickly took out your phone and called Chris. He answered on the second ring. 

“Hey beautiful I’m jus-” You took a shaky breath in and out trying to compose yourself before your words came out like vomit. 

“Chris, can you come get me?” You interrupted him and he could tell something was off. 

“What’s wrong are you okay?” You could still hear Mr. Tate shouting.  

“I’m scared Chris, please?” He didn’t need to hear another thing; he was already excusing himself from the bid meeting he’d stepped away from to take your call. 

“I’m on my way baby girl, okay? What’s going on? Tell me what’s happening.” You heard Mr. Tate’s voice get louder; the meeting room door had obviously been opened. You walked over by your desk. 

“Mr. Tate. He’s here shouting at Mr. Nealy.” You scrunched down under your desk just like in your nightmare, you were shaking. You could hear Chris’ car door open and shut and his engine start immediately after. 

“I’m so close baby I’m practically there, okay? Can you hear what they’re saying?” You started to quietly cry to yourself as you heard Mr. Tate’s voice getting closer and closer to your office. You sniffled and Chris sped. 

“N-no but the voices are getting closer.” Chris whipped into a parking spot, parked his car and started dashing up the stairs to your floor. Your door was opened and pushed hard enough to hit the wall. You jumped and let out a whine. 

“I’m- a----- th--- b-by—rl" Chris’s phone started to cut in and out because of the stairwell. You tried to be as quiet as possible. You covered your ears and buried your face in your knees blocking everything out. 

“There see she’s not even in here, just let me grab the damn thing and go before she comes back. You know I’d apologize to the girl if you gave me half a chance. I told you I’m in recovery now, making amends is part of it you realize.” Mr. Nealy looked into your office confused. He could have sworn he’d seen you come back from your lunch already. 

“I am glad that you’ve sought help Mr. Tate but you’ve done enough to that poor girl, just leave her be and make amends with yourself instead. Grab your heirloom and be on your way quickly.” Mr. Nealy was pulled away a moment by another employee as Mr. Tate walked around the desk and pulled out the chair to get what he needed out of the middle drawer. The silver cigar cutter he’d left that had been his father’s. As he closed the drawer he happened to look down and saw your feet poking out from under the desk. He knelt down and sure enough there you were, practically cowering under the desk. 

“Ms. y/l/n? What on earth are you...” He couldn’t finish his sentence before Chris was running into your office. 

“Back the fuck away from her!” Mr. Tate’s eyes went wide, and he backed away with his hands up as Mr. Nealy came back to make sure he had retrieved his item and was leaving. He was surprised to see Chris there. 

“Mr. Bang? What brings you to our offices today?” Mr. Nealy greeted Chris calmly and he was confused. 

“y/n she...” Instead of answering Mr. Nealy he went and knelt down where Mr. Tate had just been. He looked under your desk and saw you were scrunched up with your eyes closed tight and your hands over your ears. Chris called your name but you didn’t hear him, when he grabbed your wrist you jumped. As soon as you saw it was him you threw your arms around his neck, he pulled you out from under the desk onto his lap and you quietly cried. Mr. Nealy pressed his lips together tightly. 

“Mr. Tate if you have your belongings, it would be best if you left now.” He shook his head. He left and he left with the knowledge that he’d been so awful to you; you were now scared of him. Chris rocked you in his lap, running his hand through your hair, his lips pressed to the top of your head telling you everything was okay, that you were okay. 

“I’m here, I won’t let anything happen to you, okay?” Mr. Nealy made his way around the desk and looked down at the two of you on the floor. 

“I’m terribly sorry about that. He had been calling asking about something he’d left; I didn’t think he would just show up like that.” Chris nodded; he knew it wasn’t his fault. Neither of them could have known you would react like that. 

“No, I understand, if it’s okay I’d like to get her home so she can get some rest.” Mr. Nealy nodded.  

“Yes of course.” He excused himself and Chris managed to get you calmed down enough to stand up and get to his car. Fear, just like every other emotion, in its rawest form was draining. You had to fight to keep your eyes open in the car, eventually losing the battle. Chris pulled up to his place and gently woke you. 

“Common let's get you into bed.” You nodded. Chris got out and hurried around to your side helping you out. When Chris’ apartment door clicked closed your arms were wrapped around him and your face buried in his chest. He squeezed you and rested his cheek on top of your head. 

“You wanna talk about it first? Or sleep first?” You nuzzled against him.  

“Sleep please?” He nodded. 

“Okay but after we talk yeah?” It was your turn to nod. 

“Will you lay with me?” How could he possibly say no. 

“Of course I will baby girl.” You both headed towards Chris’s bedroom. You sat on the edge of his bed as he fished through his t-shirt drawer, finally plucking one out for you to sleep in. You stepped out of your work clothes and kicked them aside on the floor.

You were standing there in your bra and panties sliding his shirt over your head and Chris could feel his heart flutter. You were so beautiful and his feelings for you were overwhelming at times but in the best ways. You crawled into his bed and when he climbed in you curled up close to him. Once Chris’ arms were around you, you were out in no time flat. 

It was late afternoon when Chris finally woke you up. He didn’t want you to skip dinner. You got up and he gave you a pair of his sweats to put on while he started to cook. You walked out of his room into the kitchen, and he laughed a little seeing you in his baggy clothes that all but swallowed you. He kissed your forehead as you walked up and wrapped your arms around his waist. 

“You’re kinda cute in my clothes.” You shook your head and rested it against Chris’ chest listening to his steady heartbeat. 

“Food smells good.” You turned your head and peeked at what was on the stove. Spaghetti. Chris let go of you with one arm to grab a big spoon and stir the sauce. He brought it up to his lips and blew on it and tasted it. He stirred the sauce again, getting another spoon full and blowing on it before offering you a taste for your opinion. 

“Need anything?” You shook your head and hummed in satisfaction. 

“That’s so good Chris, is it almost done?” He nodded. 

“Yep go ahead and sit at the table I’ll bring it out in just a second.” Moments later Chris brought you both a bowl out to the table and he sat with you to eat. When you were done Chris cleared the table and you curled up on his couch under a throw blanket. He came out to join you and he was glad to see you more relaxed, more yourself again. He sat down on the couch and you curled up next to him. You both sat there enjoying each other and the silence for a bit before you said anything. 

“I’m sorry Chris.” His brows furrowed. 

“For what baby girl?” You sat up, turned, and looked at him. 

“For making you worry, for making you leave your meeting, for freaking out for no reason.” He shook his head. 

“It wasn’t for no reason. You heard shouting, you were scared.” You shook your head. 

“I was scared because of that stupid nightmare; it wasn’t even real. I... I shouldn't have called you like that.” You went to pull away, but Chris stopped you and made you look at him. 

“Why not? Why wouldn’t you call me if you’re scared or in danger?” You weren’t sure how to say what you wanted. 

“Because you lost out on money leaving your meeting today and I... I’m just some girl who takes up space in your life. I’m not your responsibility and I shouldn’t put things like that on you.” Chris shook his head. 

“You are so much more than just someone that takes up space in my life and no meeting is more important than knowing you’re alright, that you’re safe.” You looked into his deep brown eyes. 

“Why?” Chris shook his head not understanding your question. 

“Why, is that the most important?” His face softened, he pushed a stray bit of your hair away and kissed you softly. 

“Because y/n, I think I’ve fallen in love with you.” You looked surprised that he said that and he had thought it was obvious. 

“What?!” His hand rested gently against your cheek. 

“I’m in love with you y/n.” He pulled you in and kissed you. 

“I love you baby girl.” He kissed you again. 

“I love you so fucking much y/n.” He attacked your lips this time, his mouth opening and his tongue exploring yours, his fingers weaved through your hair. You pulled away suddenly and Chris thought he may have scared you by saying the L word already. 

“What, what is it?” He asked concerned. You just shook your head in disbelief. Who were you? What had you done to make him love you? You weren’t special. Why did you deserve this incredibly kind and beautiful human’s love. You were just... you. 

“W-why?” He tilted his head like a confused puppy. 

“That seems to be your favorite question tonight beautiful. You want to know why I love you?” You nodded your head. Chris’ thumb traced across your cheek and he looked into your eyes as if he’d find his answer to your question if he just looked deep enough. 

“I love you because I know you slip the homeless man in front of your office building a twenty any chance you get, you don’t ask him if he will use it on drugs or food. You just give it to him because he needs it. I love you because you personally wrote thank you cards to every single one of your coworkers when they pitched in and threw a birthday party for you. I love you because you love that shitty pizza place up the street from your apartment and I firmly believe the only reason they’re still open is because of your obsession with their tikka masala pizza. Baby girl I love you because you’re not afraid to just be yourself. You’re confident, kind, and beautiful; what’s there not to fall in love with?” Tears rimmed your eyes. Yeah, you were just you but apparently that’s all Chris needed to fall in love with you. 

“You don’t have to say it back, I just-” 

“I do love you Christopher.” You interrupted him and he smiled at you, one of his dimples popping out. 

“You do?” You nodded. He was elated. He leaned in and kissed you. His plump lips and yours slotted together. When he broke the kiss he giggled and rubbed his nose gently against yours. 

“Does this mean you’re my girl now.” You smiled, you really liked hearing him call you that. You shook your head. 

“I think I’ve been your girl since the day we met.” He laughed, nodding his head in agreement.  

“That night is forever burned into my brain.” He confessed and you smirked at him. That night was an awakening for you. Just thinking back to it made you wet. You gently pushed against Chris’ chest, making him sit back on the couch as you climbed on his lap. His hands immediately finding purchase on your hips. Your hands cupped his face and you kissed him. Chris’ tongue and yours fought for dominance that neither could win. You made out and dry humped each other like it was the first time you’d ever touched each other. Your hips rolled and rubbed harder against Chris every time, driving him crazier and crazier. Chris grabbed your chin with his thumb and forefinger making you look him dead in the eyes. 

“Cum for me baby girl, baby, gah-fuck.” You moaned; your orgasm was creeping up on you quicker. The grip on your chin tightened bringing your eyes back to his. 

“Cum.” You threw yourself forward, wrapping your arms around Chris grinding against is painfully hard cock, riding out the waves of electricity that were making their way through your body while you moaned and gasped against his neck. 

“Chris... C-Chris... s-so,so good, feels s-so good.” Your words were breathy. As you came back down Chris grabbed the hem of the shirt you were wearing and pulled it up over your head, you lifted your arms assisting in its removal. You sat there glowing post orgasm, in the same bra that Chris had seen earlier. His fingers traced your bra cup before pulling it down and sucking on your nipple. He licked and gently sucked on it until it was perked then he pulled down the other cup freeing that breast as well. Pinching and rubbing that nipple before squeezing your breasts. 

“So sexy baby girl.” Your face burned the way he stared at your body, before you could get too embarrassed Chris gripped one of your ass cheeks in each hand, stood and lifted you. You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck laughing as he headed for his bedroom. 

“I’m perfectly capable of walking myself you know.” Chris’ teeth grazed your shoulder then his lips were pressed to your ear. 

“You won’t be by the time I’m done with you.” You clenched and your legs tightened around Chris’ waist. 

“Fuck, Chris... I... I want you.” You tried to pull him closer as if you could, gripping him tightly as you kissed him again. You never got enough of kissing his soft lips. 

“I’m yours baby girl, I’m yours.” He laid you down on his bed and peeled off his own shirt before climbing over your and claiming your lips again, his hands roaming your body. 

“God please touch me Chris.” He smirked against your skin and reached into the sweatpants you were wearing ghosting his fingers over your panties. 

“Where beautiful? Here?” Your hips moved seeking more of his touch. 

“Pleeease yes right there.” His fingers gently moved over your clothed slit making goosebumps erupt all over your body but still not giving you any of the satisfaction you wanted. He nipped and kissed at your neck as you squirmed underneath him. 

“Is my girl needy tonight? Do you want my fingers or my tongue beautiful.” His fingers grazed your panties again and you moaned. 

“Both...” He hummed, satisfied with your answer. 

“So greedy tonight too? That’s okay, if my girl wants both then my girl gets both.” Chris’ hands trailed down your body and his fingers hooked in the waistband of your sweatpants and underwear, pulling them down and off, tossing the useless items aside. He lined up with your cunt and gripped your hips, ready to devour you like a man on death row getting his last meal. The first swipe of his tongue through your folds was warm and wet and you wanted more. Your fingers tightened around Chris’ curls as you moaned his name. 

“Chris! Don't tease!” He wanted to drag it out make you beg but he was so eager to taste you, to make you scream his name. He buried his face between your legs, licking and sucking at your clit. He stuck his fingers in his mouth wetting them before sliding them inside you. Not that he needed to, you were absolutely soaked for him. 

“So wet baby girl, who’s got you dripping like this?” You bit your lip and looked down at him watching you as he pushed his fingers deeper inside you. 

“You do Chris, you fuck, please don’t stop. I’m so close.” He drank you in and finger fucked you pushing you closer and closer. When your hips just couldn’t stay still Chris held you down and hummed against your pussy as he sucked on your clit. 

“Oh fuck Chris! I’m coming, go-fuck I’m coming!” Instead of slowing down Chris kept going at your cunt, now coated in your arousal until you finally had to grip his hair tightly and pull his head away as you pulled back. Your legs were shaking and you were breathing heavily. Chris pulled you back towards him and started placing the softest kisses on the insides of your thighs. 

“Taste so good. Love it when you say my name like that beautiful, makes my dick so hard.” Chris got up and slid his underwear and basketball shorts down. Every time you saw Chris’ cock hard for you it made your mouth water. You sat up and took off your bra before crawling over to the edge of the bed. Chris knew where this was heading as you licked your lips and looked at him like a bowl of ice cream. You didn’t waste any time, as soon as you had grabbed his dick your mouth was on it. Chris tilted his head back and moaned as he thread his fingers through your hair and you took more and more of his cock. When he started to hit the back of your throat making you gag you just took more letting him thrust and fuck your throat. When you finally came up for a deep breath you were panting and covered in your own saliva.  

“So fucking sexy when you choke on me like that baby girl. You like when I fuck your throat?” You nodded looking up at him with those sweet eyes of yours, he pushed the hair he’d mussed away from your face. You don’t know why but you did enjoy it. Every time you gagged on him or he fucked your throat your pussy would practically drip. Chris was always one to surprise you in the bedroom usually but tonight you had a trick up your own sleeve. You laid down on the bed on your back, your head hanging over the edge. 

“Fuck my throat Chris, go as deep as you want.” This was another one of those times that Chris had to stop and collect himself before he lost his mind.  

“Are you sure that’s what you want baby girl.” You nodded. 

“Want to make you feel good it makes me so wet when you moan.” You opened your mouth and Chris slid his cock in, you wrapped your lips around him and hummed giving him permission to go deeper. He gently held your jaw as he started to thrust deeper into your throat. You ran your fingertips up and down Chris’ thighs grabbing his ass and squeezing before pushing him even further down your throat.  

“Fuck you like it when I fuck your mouth baby? Hmm?” You moaned around his cock and it sent chills down Chris’ spine. He leaned over and started playing with your pussy as he continued to face fuck you. The more he teased your clit the louder the moans around his dick became. Finally it got to the point Chris couldn’t take it anymore.  

“I’ve got to be inside this pussy baby come here.” He pulled out and spun you around, crawling on top of you as you wrapped your legs around his waist. He went to reach for a condom in his nightstand and you stopped him. 

“You... I mean... I’m on birth control so... if you don’t want to... you know... that’s okay with me.” Chris looked at you and spoke softly. 

“Are you sure? It doesn’t bother me either way.” You nodded. 

“You’re my man right?” Chris smiled and shook his head. 

“I’m your man baby girl.” You wrapped your legs around him tighter. 

“Then fuck me like you are.” Chris smirked at you and then grabbed his dick rubbing it up and down your slick folds both of you moaning out in pleasure at the warm contact. Chris lined up his cock with your entrance and leaned over kissing your lips softly as he pushed the tip of his cock inside you. When he was fully buried inside you he let out a breath. 

“Fuck, I love you y/n.” You ran your fingers through Chris’ hair and then gently down his face taking in all the beautiful lines of his strong jaw and broad nose, your heart swelled knowing this beautiful creature both inside and out, loved you. You leaned up and kissed him. 

“I love you too Christopher.” You gently dug your heel into his ass cheek urging him to move. 

“Please baby, fuck me, need you.” Chris didn’t need to be asked twice he pulled out and pushed in harder and faster the feeling of you raw around his cock felt unreal, so warm and wet. He fucked you harder and you started to pinch and play with your nipples as Chris gripped your hips and pumped himself in and out, in and out. Sweat started beading around his temples and forehead and his face was flushed and pink. You could hardly stand the sight of this gorgeous man losing himself on top of you. Chris started to roll his hips and rubbed your clit with his thumb edging you closer and closer to the precipice.  

“Chris... I... I... fuck! Harder fuck me harder!” He slammed his hips into yours and you started to cum, your walls quivered around Chris’ dick, the feeling sending him straight into his own orgasm. 

“Oh fuck y/n god I’m coming baby I’m coming.” He pulled out and streaks of his cum shot across your pussy and belly as it started to drip from your cunt. Chris collapsed on you, sweaty and out of breath, the weight of his body comforting like a weighted blanket. You wrapped your arms around him and gently ran your fingertips up and down his back, through his curls. Soothing him. After a few minutes of just lying there with each other Chris got up and let you up so you could both get showered and ready for bed. After you crawled in bed next to Chris, he pulled you close. 

“Hope you don’t mind I get cuddly after I cum.” You laughed shaking your head as Chris giggled and clung to you just like he always did. You nuzzled in close and as you both drifted off to sleep you wondered just how much one man could surprise you, how much your man could surprise you. 

@acciocriativity @caroline-ds-world @chansynie @ughbehavior @jquellen27 @hyunelixies @fixation-dump @lachinitaaaaa @rinrinndou @bangchans-angel @laylasbunbunny @owo-manii-uwu @armystay89 @b00dyguts @purplenimsicle

I dont remember who wanted to be on my permanent tag list and who wanted thick reader only, so if you're tagged on here and don't want to be, just let me know and I'll take you off.

Please do not repost or translate any of my works. My blog and stories are NSFW and 18+ ONLY! Minors, ageless, and blank blogs will be blocked!

#stray kids smut #skz smut #bang chan smut #chris bang smut #skz317cb97 #cal 🖤

[crimsonredfeathers]

Nightmares

Bakugou Katsuki x gn!Reader

Warnings: cussing, curse words, mild gore

Word count: 699

🖤🧡🖤🧡🖤

🖤🧡🖤🧡🖤

"Shit!" Releasing a few more blasts from the palms of his hands, Katsuki kept propelling himself forward, a dark expression on his face. He could see the villain behind you that was getting ready to strike whilst you were trying to keep up with the attacks of a huge group of enemies in front of you. One more blast, and he would finally be able to reach you, to scoop you up in his arms and get you out of harm's way.

The moment he reached for you, screaming your name, you turned your head to look at him in surprise. Not a second later, you were gone, ripped to shreds in front of him, before the force of the impact pushed Katsuki to the ground a few feet away.

Katsuki jolted awake from his slumber, mind dazed by the cruel pictures that had accompanied his nightmare. His whole body was covered in sweat, hands trembling as he wiped his sticky palms on the covers. Teeth gritted and heartbeat racing, he barely dared to move his head to check on you. What if this wasn't just a very bad dream after all?

Slowly turning his head to the side of the bed you had claimed for yourself whenever you secretly entered his dorm room at night, fearful of what he might or rather might not be able to find, a breath Katsuki didn't even realize he was holding, escaped his lips in a short sigh. There you were, sound asleep right next to him. Tears of relief welled up in the corner of his eyes and spilled at the sight of your peaceful form.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he whispered while he wiped the salty tears away with his forearm, sharply biting down on his bottomlip to stop more of them from falling. "Kacchan...?" Your tired voice reached his ears, questioning his behavior as you sat up, rubbing your eyes. "Are you crying?"

"N-no, of course not," he plainly lied to you, even though it was painfully obvious from the hoarse sound of his voice and the quiet sniffling. "Lying bastard," you muttered, laying back down into the comfort of his pillow. Holding your arms wide open, Katsuki followed your invitation, nestling into your embrace and snaking his own arms around you, holding you as tight as possible.

Whenever Katsuki woke up like this, you knew another nightmare was at fault. Ever since you had gained a nasty wound that had cost you three fingers of your left hand in a battle against some villains, an ambush attack that took you and the other students by surprise months ago, Katsuki kept replaying the incident in his mind, blaming himself for what had happened. After the initial shock had worn off, Katsuki had jumped to his feet, realizing you were alive, but your left hand had been torn apart. The doctors had done their absolute best, but the tissue of three of your fingers was left beyond repair, the other two possibly staying not only disfigured but stiff for the rest of your life. You knew he did everything in his power to protect you that day. You were still alive thanks to him. If he hadn't come that close to you, shouting for you, making you aware that something was off, you wouldn't have been able to avoid certain death by moving yourself out of the way. He barely spoke about this day and the nightmares that had followed. And by now, you knew better than to ask about what was obvious.

"Don't blame yourself, love," you whispered as you kissed the top of Katsuki's head, your unharmed hand soothingly brushing through his blond hair. "I thank you every day for saving my life, for another day I get to stay by your side." All Katsuki could bring himself to do was nod. "This won't stop me from becoming a hero alongside you, you know," you chuckled. You could feel his fingers dig into the fabric of your shirt. "Dumbass," Katsuki mumbled, sleep slowly taking over his exhausted body once again, "if you don't start to be more careful, I'll surely have you at my agency doing paperwork until you're retiring."

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha angst #mha angst #bnha fluff #mha fluff #kacchan fluff #kacchan angst #kacchan x reader angst #kacchan x reader fluff #bakugo katsuki angst #bakugo katsuki fluff #bakugo katsuki x reader fluff #bakugo katsuki x reader angst

[rose-edith]

Can I have a dabble based on this please bestie 😊😊😊

Hope you like it!

NSFWish Drabble on the above Gif with Gibbs:

It’s a loud shout that pulls you out of sleep- and what an exquisite dream of Jethro it had been, you’d even been ever so slightly grinding onto a pillow you’d slung your leg over in your sleep- but then the shout cuts through the dreamy haze.

You’re on your feet in an instant, grabbing the gun from under your pillow, letting the safety catch off as you race into the room. Your follow Gibbs in, almost crashing into his back as Kate followed hot on your heels. Your eyes wash over the scene, only to come to rest on some sort of lizard laid on the pillow.

With a sigh you put the safety back on the gun and lower your arm. You almost tumble into Gibbs, but catch yourself swaying at the last second as you rub the sleep from your eyes.

“What the Hell Tony?” You bitterly complain. “I was in the middle of a lovely dream where you died.” It was a lie- but you couldn’t very well say what you were truly dreaming of! You yawn. “And in we come, guns at the ready and you were shrieking because of a lizard?!” You were panting with rage, both because of what had happened, the fact you could’ve easily slept for hours yet, and because you were left unfulfilled from your dream.

You roll your eyes. It’s only when you turn to Kate to leave that you realise she’s smirking at you. A glance over your shoulder confirms that DiNozzo is smirking at you too, while Gibbs is…looking pensive.

With a shot of dread filling your heart you look down at what you’re wearing, at what you’d slipped into bed wearing last night. It was no wonder you’d dreamt of your boss; you were wearing his shirt. Against the back of your neck you could feel the hand embroidered initials ‘LJG’, Jethro, Gibbs, had seen them himself, you assume it’s a hangover from the marines.

You’d stolen the shirt weeks ago from his clean laundry pile- even after being washed it still smelt of sawdust, soap and coffee. Unconsciously your hand grabbed the hem of the shirt, rubbing the fabric between your fingers. You’d been staying at your Boss’s house for one night only, your flat being uninhabitable while a gas leak on the building was checked and fixed- it was generous of him to invite you to stay really. And how did you repay that generosity? By stealing one his shirts, one that he usually wears fairly regularly. It never even crossed your mind that you were the only person around when it went missing, your desire to own a shirt of his overwhelmed your every thought.

Kate moved away from the door and you breathed a tiny sigh of relief! Her and Tony were bickering like an old married couple, but your heart was pounding so loudly in your ears you couldn’t hear it, you couldn’t tune in. Instead you make your way to the threshold of the door, pausing just for a tiny moment.

You give one final glance over your shoulder and meet your Boss’s eye. He smirking at you now, just as Kate and Tony had been a few moments ago before their bickering started. He nods his head at you, gesturing for you to leave.

You gulp but step forwards, waiting for Gibbs in the hallway. He’s right behind you, he grabs you firmly by the elbow and drags you into your room, kicking the door shut.

He sits you on the edge of your bed, Jethro is stood in front of you with his arms folded across his chest. For a moment you get lost in observing his bulging biceps. A smack to the back of your head gets you out of your drool-worthy, very obvious eye fucking of your Boss.

But he was smirking at you. That didn’t reassure you.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t punish you for stealing my shirt.” He says. His voice is quite light, his eyes are still as observant and piercing as ever. The beautiful blue eyed bastard is teasing you!

You bite your lip…time to fight fire with fire! “You absolutely should punish me…Jethro. I’ve been a very bad girl.” You grin at him and slide yourself back up the bed, slowly unbuttoning his shirt, revealing that you’re completely nude underneath it.

“Oh really? Well I can’t have that. Guess I better teach you a new rule about how to be a good girl- in future you should just ask.” He smirking.

You watch in delight as he crawls up the bed, prowling like a predator as his body comes to rest between your spread thighs. A shiver chases across your skin, may the punishment begin!

#ncis #ncis x reader #ncis headcanons #ncis imagine #leroy jethro gibbs imagine #leroy jethro gibbs #mark harmon #leroy jethro gibbs headcanons #leroy jethro gibbs x reader #jethro gibbs #jethro gibbs headcanons #jethro gibbs imagine #jethro gibbs x reader #mark harmon is seriously sexy though #mark harmon x reader #ncis reader insert #ncis gibbs

[spicywhenspeaking]

If I'm There : Chapter Ten

read from part one

Noah and Natalie meet in high school and developed a relationship through their love of music and art. Falling in love, innocent and young, they think nothing can keep them apart. However, sometimes in the pursuit of your dreams the things we love the most get left behind

warnings: mentions of alcohol abuse and overdose, no death.

no beta reader so there might be a couple errors.

Noah was rubbing my back in soothing circles and looking at me full of concern. Kyle took a deep breath and finally told me what happened. “She was unresponsive, I called 911 and when they got there they said she barely had a pulse. She practically drank herself to death this time.” There’s pain in his voice but he seems to be calming down . “I’m with her and dads on the way. We’re at St.Peters Memorial. Can you get here?” I get out of bed and scramble to throw on my jeans with my phone cradled between my shoulder and ear. “Yeah, um I can ask Noah for a ride.” I look at him and he nods his answer, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and getting up to get himself dressed as well. “I’ll be there soon Kyle. We’ll figure this out.” I say to him. “Okay, I’ll see you soon.” The line disconnects. 

“What happened?” Noah asks as I’m frantically searching for where my bra got thrown last night. Finding it I put it on and answer. “It’s my mom. She- I don't know. Kyle found her unconscious this morning.” I trip over Noah’s guitar case getting my bra on. “Oh fuck!” He jumps up to help me up but I manage to get my balance on his desk and find my shirt. Throwing it on I grab my bag and wait for Noah to finish getting ready. In the car, my mind is racing and I bite my nail so badly that I jerk back into reality at the pain. Noah reaches his hand over to take my hand in his. “It’s all going to be okay” he tries to reassure me. “I don't know, my mom- this thing with her, it's getting so much worse,” I say leaning my head on the window, looking out and watching the road and the grass blur into one. “I just don’t know what to do anymore. My Dad tried for a while but he has no patience. One of the reasons he left her. Left all of us.” Noah squeezes my hand attempting to offer some comfort but the reality of how bad the situation with my Mom has gotten is hitting me hard. “I’ve just been ignoring it, to be honest, she and my Dad used to really get into it, yelling and screaming. After he left she got worse and I just kept to myself, focused on school and art.” I take a deep breath before going on. “Kyle, as you can tell, handled things differently.” I busy my free hand by pulling at the frayed edges that surround the hole in my jeans. “we used to be really close, you know? Twins that did everything together. After our Dad left, Mom started drinking a lot more, he would try to talk to her about it, begging her to stop.” I can feel my eyes burning with tears. I’ve told Noah a little about my mom but I was hoping it would never get this bad. “She would be embarrassed in the morning. Promising she would get better. That would last about 4 hours.” I scoff. “Pathetic.” 

Noah having been silent for so long just rubbed his thumb against the top of my hand in a gentle caress. “I’m so sorry Natty, why didn’t you tell me how bad it was?” He asks. I let out an aggravated harumph. “Not something I particularly enjoy talking about on top of how Kyle was acting. Things between us are good and I didn’t want to talk about my stupid mom's stupid drinking problem.” He nods his head “I understand, but you can always talk to me about that kind of stuff you know?” Noah is trying to reassure me, but in the few months we’ve been together we rarely talk about stuff like this. He doesn’t ever talk about his family stuff and I don’t ask. Does that make me a bad girlfriend? Ugh, I don’t know, but there’s too much going on right now for me to start worrying about my relationship. “I know, I know. You know the same goes for you too” I turn to face him and he smiles softly at him. “I know Nat.”

We finally arrive at the hospital and Noah drops me off at the ground entrance. “I think maybe I should go by myself. Kyle is likely to be pretty emotional right now, I don’t know how he would react to you being there.” He nods slowly and I can see the hesitation in his eyes. “Are you sure?” He asks. I unclip my seatbelt and gather my bag together. “Yes, it should just be us while we wait for our Dad. But thank you.” I say pulling him into a hug from across the center console. “Thank you for bringing me and I’ll call you later okay?” He hugs me back and kisses me on top of the head before pulling back and resting his head against mine. “Okay,” he kisses me softly. “Nick and I will be at the show out of town tonight but…I can cancel if you need me to?” I shake my head, “No, no don’t cancel.” The last thing I want is for him to cancel because of me.  “Just call me in the morning when you wake up and I’ll update you.” He kisses me again. “Okay, I will. I love you, Nat.” And with one last kiss, I head out of the car. “ I love you too.”

Walking into the hospital I’m hit with the thick nose-burning scent of antiseptic. Kyle told me they're on the 5th floor so I follow the signs to the elevator and make my way up. I meet Kyle in the room the assigned our mom. Kyle is sitting with his hands buried in his hands when I arrive and my Mom is asleep in the bed with wires and some tubes connected to her. The faint beat of the heart monitor is the only sound for a few moments before I make my entrance known with a soft cough. “Hey, Kyle. How are you?” I ask and he lifts his head up, standing and coming to pull me into a bone-crushing hug. I freeze not knowing what to do with my hands. “Umm okay, what's going on Kyle.” He releases me and takes a step back. “Sorry, it's just been a crazy few hours.” He holds my shoulders and looks at me and I see his red puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks. “I thought she was dead and I-” his voice catches. “I just was so scared Sissy, what are we going to do?” Tears filling my own eyes I look between Kyle and our Mom, asleep in the hospital bed. “I don’t know Ky, what can we do? We can't make her get better, she has to want to.” Tears of sadness and anger are falling down my face. “Would she even go to rehab? She won't even go to her AA meetings anymore.” We sit in the chairs next to a large window in the far corner of her room. Kyle recounts the events of the morning. He woke up and found Mom on the couch and tried to move her before noticing she was completely unresponsive. Kyle with tear-filled eyes and panic coursing through his veins tried to find a pulse and was instructed by the 9-1-1 operator to perform CPR until the paramedics arrived. “Oh my god Ky, that's- that's a lot. Are you okay?” I ask, knowing the answer for all of us is no. “I’m okay, I’m alright, I'll be okay and so will Mom.” He's nodding his head emphatically, “She will be okay, she’ll get better.” He takes a deep breath. "She will get better.” I rest my head on his shoulder, “yeah, she’ll get better.” We sit there for a while longer and then our Dad walks in.

My Dad rushes to Mom’s bedside and takes her hand in his. “Damnit Kelly, what did you do to yourself?” He goes to his knees and brushes the hair off of her head. “This isn't the life we had planned for ourselves.” My Dad's voice goes soft and the room is silent as Kyle and I take in what's happening. So now he cares? Running to her bedside? After all this time.

“Are you kids okay?” He turns to address us. Kyle is silent in his presence so I manage out a small “Yeah, we're okay.” The doctor chose this awkward moment to come in and check in on Mom and give us an update on her recovery. He tells us that the excessive drinking will kill her if she doesn't get help and he gives my Dad some pamphlets on rehab centers nearby before heading back out the door. “Okay, here's what's gonna happen.” My Dad starts, “Your Mother is going to this treatment center until she's better.”

Kyle and I both nod in agreement. “And I’ll move in to keep an eye on you two while she's away.” My nodding stops and Kyles does as well. “Like Hell,” Kyle responds. “Nat and I have been taking care of ourselves for long enough already, we don’t need you moving in and taking over again.” I still don't know what happened between Dad and Kyle this summer but by the tone my brother is using im guessing things aren't peachy-keen with the two of them. “Watch that tone boy, I know you think you’re all grown up now but you still live in the house I pay for.” My eyes roll at that. “You don't pay for anything anymore Dad. Plus, we’re 18. You don't need to play babysitter.” He tenses up at us talking back. “Listen, your mother is sick, she needs us all to be there for her.”

My sadness is turning into anger quickly. “She needs us? Thats rich. And you're talking to us about being there for her? Are you serious?” My voice is rising. “You want to come home and play house like Mom is just off on a retreat? Kyle? What do you think?” I turn to my brother for his reaction. “Mom should go to the center, I agree with that, but you made it clear this summer how you felt about me. I’d hate to be just another disappointment you’re forced to live with.” A dissapointment? That's what my dad said to him? Ironic that it's coming from the embodiment of disappointment itself. “Ky, you know I didn't mean it.” Dad tries to soothe the sting of the words that have festered in Kyles's heart. “Stop, I don't want to hear it. If you come back to the house to be closer to Mom I won't stop you, but I’m not following orders or household rules or any of the bullshit you want to try. Nat and I are legally adults and will be out of the house soon. I’ll stay out of your hair, you’ll stay out of my life.” Dad's stern face nods sharply and he goes back down to sitting next to Mom.

Kyle exits the room and goes down the hall. I follow and call after him “Kyle, wait up.” He stops and turns around. “Can you believe him? Bastard. I shouldn't have called him” 

“No, no. it's good you did. He can help Mom more than we could. Unfortunately, she’ll listen to him.” We continue walking until we reach the elevators, taking them down and walking out of the hospital into the fresh air. “Dad kicked me out after the summer.” Kyle starts. “I was stupid on the job site. Got into a fight with one of the guys, dude broke his arm.” He runs a frustrated hand through his hair. “He fired me and told me to pack my bag. Called me a loser, a waste of space. A disappointment. Said I was the worst part of himself. The parts that he hated.. the thing that sucks is that he's right.”

I take my hand and place it on his shoulders, “No, he's not right Kyle. You're not any of those things.” pushing off my hand he backs away, “How can you say that? How can you defend me? After all of that shit last spring? After how much of a dick i’ve been? How can you see anything good in me, Nat?” He plops down on a bench and rests his head on his knees. I come to sit next to him and start softly. “Last spring was hard, you became someone I didn’t recognize. Everything with Mom and Dad has been hard on both of us and we should have been there for each other. I should have been there for you.” He looks up at me. “I should have been there for you too Sis.” We sit there in silence for a while. “Why don't we go to a movie or something. I’m sure Dad has all of this handled.” I wave absent-mindedly at the hospital behind us. “Yeah, that would be fun.”

We take the bus to the mall and get tickets to see some action movie. After sharing a large bucket of popcorn we call our Dad for an update and he lets us know Mom will be discharged tomorrow and that he will take her to the treatment center on Monday morning. By the time we get home after grabbing a bite to eat, I head up to my room. Crashing on my bed, I turn on some music and text Noah. 

Natalie: Finally home. 8:45pm

Noah: How did everything go with you Mom? 8:50pm

Natalie: eh, it’ll be okay I guess. She’s going to rehab on monday so we will see. 8:51pm

Noah: thats good news ! 9:00pm

Noah: we’re about to go on! I’ll call you tomorrow babe, Love you <3 9:00

Natalie: have a good show :) love you 2 9:02pm

I take a hot shower and put on my pajamas, falling into bed I am asleep instantly.

I wake up in the morning as the sun shines into my room, I text Noah but dont get a response, he’s probably still asleep. Heading downstairs I make a cup of coffee and sit in the living room and watch some tv. Kyle joins me later and we watch reruns of spongebob, laughing at the stupid jokes. I text Noah again but he still hasnt responded. Strange but I’m assuming that he stayed out late after the show so it makes sense he would still be asleep, especially since he woke up so early yesterday.

Dad brings Mom home a little later and she's weepy and apologetic, I don’t feel like fighting so I accept her hug and head back into my room.

It's close to 2pm and I decide to call Noah. It rings a few times before he answers with a sleepy yawn. “Hey baby, are you okay?” I laugh at his tired voice. “Yes, I’m okay. Are you okay? I texted you this morning and didn't hear back.” I hear rustling on the other side of the phone and the faint sound of Nick grumbling at Noah to be quiet. “Yeah, sorry Natty. We ended up staying out late, someone had a party after the show. Didn't get home until like 4am.” My eyes widen in surprise, “wow, that is late.” There's continued rustling and I hear the click of a door being shut. “haha, yeah. Sorry, I should have texted you that I would probably be asleep for a while.” I sigh and lay back in my bed. “It’s okay. How was the show?” And then it's like he just drank a Redbull, he's full of energy when he tells me, “Holy shit Natty, I have HUGE news! You’re going to freak out!”  

page divider from here!

Next chapter here!

taglist : @lma1986 @cookiesupplier @notingridslurkaccount @blackveilomens

thank you for reading! might be a few days before part 11! I have another one shot in my brain that I'm wanting to get out lol.

anywhooo love you!!! let me know what ya think!

#noah sebastian #noahsebastian #Noah Sebastian smut #noah sebastian x ofc #Noah Sebastian angst #Noah Sebastian fluff #bad omens fluff #bad omen smut #bad omen fanfiction #bad omen fic #noah sebastian fanfiction #bad omens fanfic #bad omens rpf #bad omens smut #noah sebastian fic #If Im there noah #rpf fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #my fic