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supraveng · 11 months

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Princess of Asgardia

Summary: You are Thor & Loki’s younger sister, unfortunately you are forced to find a husband...royalty AU

Warnings: language

Pairings: Reader x James Bucky Barnes, Reader x Clint Barton, Reader x John Walker

Square Filled: Unrequited Love

Word Count: 6237 Main Masterlist

A/N: @avengersbingo my first and long over due entry to Avengers Bingo Rd 4

Sneaking out was always easier than sneaking back in, you tried your best to make it home before sunrise and today you almost made it. Of course, luck wasn’t on your side and you knew the staff would be around so you had to decide whether to trek back through the hidden passageways or tiptoe through the main rooms of the castle without being found out. At this time of day, neither was a great choice, but you quietly took off your shoes as you slipped through the main entrance to the palace and held your head high, as a princess should, as you passed the guards.

No one said a word to you, most likely knowing that tattling on the princess of Asgardia at this time of day would only become more of an issue for them, putting Odin or Frigga in a bad mood first thing in the morning would be no good for anyone. You began to relax, turning down the final hallway to your room, only to be greeted by your mother and your personal security, Brunnhilde, waiting for you.

“Mother, what a pleasant surprise first thing in the morning” you were trying your best to avoid any questioning on your whereabouts.

“Well, my dear, I wouldn’t be here if you were here when I came to you last night” she raised an eyebrow challenging me “and before you start formulating some plot in your head, I also asked the guards to notify me of your return. And yet all night, not a single person in the palace knew where you were.”

You knew you were caught, she knew you were caught and yet, you couldn’t find it in your heart to concede, “well then, it seems that I am once again the Hide & Seek victor.” Turning and entering your room, knowing the conversation wasn’t over, but you were too tired to argue with anyone right now.

“Before you even think about sleeping, Nebula will be here momentarily to prepare your bath, and I expect you to look presentable for breakfast with your father” you looked at your mother stunned, it’s as if she could read your mind.

“Why would father want to have breakfast with me when he has your beautiful face to admire?” Unfortunately that didn’t work as you had hoped, your mother just laughed as she walked out of the room with Brunnhilde, reminding you that your flattery will get you nowhere.

You took your time getting ready before heading to breakfast with your family, normally you wouldn't want to disappoint your parents but you had been up all night and there was little you could do to make yourself move any faster. Somehow you managed to make it to the dining hall just before your father, so you take that as a win, even if you hadn’t been able to sit before rising to greet him.

“Well, isn’t it nice to have the whole family together, it’s been so long” Odin looked around the table and seemed happy to have you all gathered together. You were immediately suspicious and looked to your brothers, trying to figure out what was going on.

Loki appeared to be as concerned as you were, but Thor seemed to have his normal idiot smile on his face and seemed more interested in the food being served than anyone at the table, typical. Rolling your eyes, you immediately grabbed your coffee mug, needing caffeine to make it through the morning in one piece.

“Since we are all here, why don’t you tell our children about the exciting news” your mother smiled around the table before picking up her tea. Loki immediately looked at you, you both knew something was going on and not liking it one bit.

“Right, of course my dear. We are hosting a gala, inviting all the surrounding kingdoms. Oh and my darling daughter, you will have a new security detail, he will be starting this afternoon after he is finished with Quill. And I know I don't need to remind you to be on your best behavior” your father eyed you with a small smirk, knowing that a suggestion to behave was pointless for him to make but decided to do so anyway.

You were doing your best to hide your emotions that were triggered by his statement, but watching Loki smirk in your direction while he ate only angered you more. “Thank you father, but Brunnhilde is excellent and I’ve grown quite fond of her. So, really, there’s no need for someone new” you smiled at your parents, holding your breath that your attempt would work, and hearing Loki snicker at you didn’t help your nerves.

“Be that as it may, the Valkyrie have important training and she is needed there. Don’t worry, it’s already done, you will be well taken care of and not cause any problems" with that, your father rose from his seat, all of you following suit and heading out of the dining hall.

You needed a few hours of sleep before worrying about your new security detail and how to get out of the palace by yourself. After your nap you decided a ride on your horse, Chocolate, was the best way to enjoy the day, so you were dressed and heading to the stables. Riding around the back pasture behind the palace was not your ideal choice, but if your parents found out you were out again without security, you wouldn’t hear the end of it.

The ride helped to clear your head a little, maybe a change in your security detail wouldn’t be so bad, you adored Brunnhilde, but would much rather have her as a friend to celebrate with rather than a watchdog, always on duty, never having fun. Taking your time to make it back to the palace, you notice your brother approaching and roll your eyes as you try to walk past.

“First day with new security and you decide to hide, tsk tsk sister”.

Rolling your eyes at him trying to irritate you more than you already were, “really Lokes, you of all people should be helping me here, not making matters worse!” You were toe to toe with him, and even if he still was several inches taller than you, you weren’t intimidated by him in the least.

He merrily scoffed at you “how am I making anything worse? I’m simply pointing out the error of your ways, I’m trying to help, unlike Thor” the last part muttered under his breath and made you freeze.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Oh, you’ll see soon enough” and just like that he had disappeared as quickly as he had arrived.

You were debating if you should take the time to bathe Chocolate yourself or allow someone at the stables to handle it, now that you heard Thor was being himself more than usual, you didn’t have a choice and left the stables to investigate on what could have happened in the few hours you were away.

Making your way back into the palace, you headed for the kitchen first, just a small snack needed to tide you over until dinner. The staff was never surprised by your arrival, even if they did feel the need to bow, you always felt more like one of them than your royal lineage. Maybe that’s why all these changes were making you irritated, you knew what was expected of you, but you still hoped that your requests would be considered, marrying for love rather than obligation or convenience, it shouldn’t be too hard to ask for.

Heading back toward the throne room, you were stopped by Peter Quill, your father’s personal secretary. “Your Highness, I’ve been searching everywhere for you. You have a new security detail that you need to meet. Will you please follow me?”.

Deciding to get this encounter out of the way as quickly as possible you followed Peter to the throne room where you found your parents chatting with a rather handsome man.

"Ah, there she is, come daughter, you need to get acquainted with your new security detail. And remember, you are to be by her side at all times'' your father stated as you approached.

"This is Clint Barton, he will be your personal security going forward" Peter tells you as you smile at the new face.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Sir Barton, and father don't scare the man, he didn't mean at all times, just outside of the palace" you smile trying to make the encounter a bit more lighthearted.

"I know what I meant child, until you can prove that you won't be sneaking out unaccompanied at all hours of the day, then Clint will be with you at all times" his tone left no room for argument, but you were about to try and plead your case only for Peter to whisk the king away for something or other, you weren't really listening.

Sighing, you tried to give a genuine smile but felt too embarrassed to put any effort into it. Before you could decide what to do next you heard Thor's booming voice from the doorway, "and there is my beautiful sister, we've been searching for you".

As he approached, you noticed a man trailing behind him, he wasn't as tall as Thor but had the same arrogant demeanor about him and you could only hope he had nothing to do with what Loki had mentioned.

"This is my dear friend, John Walker" Thor patted the man on his shoulder as he pushed him closer to you.

"It's actually Duke John Walker" he immediately corrected but pretended to be humble to the title.

You were instantly irritated and wanted to run and hide but instead you smiled politely "Sir Walker".

At this point, the nicest thing you could do was to simply acknowledge the man, since it's not his fault your idiot brother dragged him around looking for you.

"Why don't the two of you go to the sitting room and I'll have the staff bring you tea" at that point you might actually ring Thor's neck if he opened his mouth again.

"Wonderful idea, Princess, shall we?" John held out his arm and you thought the day couldn't get any worse until you remembered your new, and very attractive, security that began to follow behind you towards John.

Instead of saying anything, you took his arm and lead him out of the room and down the hall. He immediately started commenting on the decor and how it differed from his estate, was this guy serious? But of course you could only smile, knowing speaking your mind would only cause a problem for you.

As you turned to the sitting room, John finally noticed Clint following the two of you and spoke up. "Thanks for the escort, but the princess and I will be spending tea alone" his arrogant and entitled tone rubbed you the wrong way but you were curious as to how Clint would react.

"As her personal security, she will not leave my sight" Clint told him as he made his way to the corner of the room with no intention of leaving. Realizing this could very quickly escalate into something ugly, you decided to intervene

"Sir Barton is very dedicated to his craft, so why do we sit and chat, I doubt we will even notice his presence" you motioned to the sofas and chairs in the center of the room.

Opting for a chair in order to leave as much space as possible between you and your brothers friend, you sat and waited for him to choose his seat.

"Of course, anything for you princess" he smiled at you and it nearly made you ill. You were raised to know exactly what to expect from people and what they expected from you, but moments like this, you had hoped you could just freely speak your mind and put entitled diplomats in their place.

John immediately got comfortable on the sofa next to you and began telling you all about himself. What a surprise. He drones on for what felt like hours. You were only slightly relieved when Anya arrived with a tray of tea and cakes.

"Thank you, it looks wonderful. Can we get another serving set for Sir Barton?" you motioned to Clint in the the corner as Anya nodded before slipping out of the room.

Stirring your tea you heard John scoff and looked at him questioningly. "Is something amiss?" trying your best to remain calm, you could guess what caused his reaction by the few minutes you had been around him so far today.

"Why are you thanking one servant and offering tea to the other?" You nearly laughed at his utter disrespect to another human solely for the reason he had a title and they didn't.

"Well, first of all, they are staff not servants and secondly, they are human beings. Everyone deserves kindness". You are looking at Clint when you make the final statement and see the slightest hint of a smile.

"Oh princess, how naïve you are" John chuckles and you immediately tense up as you watch him mock you.

At this point the smart thing to do would be to stay quiet and remove yourself before you threw a punch, but today was not that day. Glaring at the Duke, you decide to unpack everything on him, why the hell not?

"Tell me Duke, do you know my name?" That instantly caused him to quiet down before scoffing,

"of course I do".

"Just wondering, since you haven't used it since we met. It seems that you only have used my title" taking a bite of the cake on your plate, anxiously awaiting his response.

He didn't respond right away, presumably trying to recall your name but apparently came up blank. "Your position is power, princess. I acknowledge and respect that about you" he seems smug, as if he had just given you a compliment. Was he expecting you to thank him, boy was he going to be disappointed.

"My position seems to be more important to you than it is to me" you knew challenging him wasn't the best idea but you were hoping for him to get frustrated and storm out. "So tell me John, what is my name? Just wondering if you actually remembered it".

He looked shocked and you decided to push him further, you just wanted to get him to leave.

"Do you usually have trouble remembering names? What's the name of your mistress?" this time you waited for him to respond while sipping your tea.

"I beg your pardon? What sort of question is that?".

"Which one? You haven't answered a single one of my inquiries". Holding his eye contact was not nearly as difficult as you thought it might be.

"Why would you ask if I have a mistress?"

You shake your head "I asked her name, or do you frequent brothels?"

At this point he was turning red and completely flustered. "I have never been so insulted in all my days. Please give Thor my regards" as he stood, gave a pathetic excuse of a bow and stormed out of the room.

Humming happily you continued drinking your tea before turning to Clint, "you are welcome to sit and finish your tea. The chamomile tastes nice with the lavender shortbread"

Clint simply nodded before sitting in the middle of the sofa, rather than closest to you as John had. You weren't sure if striking up a conversation with him was the best approach but we're relieved by Anya returning to check on the tea.

She smirked at you the moment she entered the room, "scared him away did you, your highness?" Anya had been like an aunt to you since you could remember and knew you better than most,

"it seems I have, he was much more fragile than I expected. The tea is wonderful as always, it's a shame he missed the opportunity to enjoy it properly" you did your best to remain calm but a giggle escaped and Anya simply rolled her eyes.

Turning to Clint she whispered, making sure to be loud enough for you to hear "was she awful or did he deserve it?"

You held your breath, not sure how Clint had taken your encounter with John, you had yet to have a conversation with him and wasn’t sure what to expect.

“Walker's disrespect shouldn’t have allowed him into the palace, let alone a private meeting with Princess Y/N”

Relief came over you by his response, not only did he agree with Walker's attitude, but he used her given name. Wondering if it was just his nature or if he was actually agreeing with your reaction to Walker’s behavior, you weren’t sure, but you felt at ease with your new security, more than you had anticipated was possible in such a short amount of time.

“Well, I am going to try and get a nap in before dinner, thank you for everything Anya” smiling, you turned toward Clint. “Please feel free to stay and finish, I can assure you, I will be in my quarters until dinner”

He stood almost immediately, making you believe he didn’t trust you at all, until he spoke “I’d like to make sure you make it safely, seeing as Walker may be lurking about” then he opened the door for you with a smile.

Making your way back to your room seemed to take longer than usual but maybe because you were enjoying Clint’s company. He didn’t say much, and neither did you, but the quiet between you was comfortable and you decided that maybe the new security detail was a better idea than you had initially thought.

Once you were well rested, you dressed for dinner and were surprised to find that Clint was just outside your door when you opened it. The sight immediately put a smile on your face and he offered his arm to escort you to the dining room.

“I hope you weren’t waiting here all this time, that must have been quite boring” He simply smiled,

“I will do whatever is needed to keep you safe”. The simple comment made your heart skip a beat. You had never met someone so genuinely kind and handsome at the same time. Reaching the dining hall seemed to happen faster than you wished, but you entered the room, seeing you were the first to arrive, you wanted to prolong your time alone with Clint.

“So tell me, is you being assigned to me a punishment for improper behavior?” you smirked. Clint merely chuckled under his breath, and made his way to stand at his post during the meal, as you made your way to the table and immediately enjoyed your first glass of wine with a smile on your face.

Dinner nearly passed as any other until your father asked about your visitor.

“Oh yes, my dear friend John, how did that go? Will you be seeing him again?” Thor responded with a large grin on his face.

You simply stared at your brother, curious as to how he could lead an army into battle, and yet not see the true nature of the people he was closest to.

“The visit was fine, father. And no Thor, I won’t be seeing him. I would appreciate it if you kept your mind on your strengths on the battlefield and not match making. Your dear friend John, is nothing more than a title chasing misogynist, and I only hope his blatant depravity does not corrupt you as well” trying your best to seem unbiased while leaving no room to question your distrust of the man you were forced to have tea with against your will.

The gasp your mother had made gave you the relief you needed in that moment. Her simple expression of shock let you know that John Walker would not be welcomed back.

Thor on the other hand seemed confused, “did you not find him handsome?” Looking at Loki for some clarity as to what that had to do with the situation only made you ask for more wine in order to endure the rest of the meal.

Thankfully your mother and father took over the conversation with Thor and what sort of man you should be introduced to, allowing you to somewhat enjoy your meal. Not really paying attention to much of the rest of the conversation, you waited as patiently as you could for the dinner to end.

Once your father rose from the table, you were dismissed and made your way to the back gardens, with Clint’s accompaniment of course. Knowing you were to find your future spouse in the next few weeks was the only thing consuming your mind. If all of your suitor options were as dreadful as John Walker, you were certain to rather die a spinster than commit to anyone.

The following days were filled with your mother fussing over the details of the gala, the invitations and food preparations as well as you needing a gown. Thankfully, Clint was a better companion than you had anticipated and helped make the dreadful tasks so much better. Small talk came easily and you felt as though your life had been missing Clint this whole time and was now, finally, how things should be.

The night of the ball was no different, Clint by your side, making you feel secure and protected from anything and everything around you. Once your entrance was announced, something you utterly detested, you slowly made you way around greeting guests.

When you spotted John Walker, you took a deep breath before heading in his direction, Clint immediately stopped you. Without saying a word, but giving a pointed look, it was as if you were reading each other's minds.

Raising your head high you turned and were immediately approached by Lord Barnes, bringing a smile to your face.

"Princess Y/N, would you do me the honor of a dance" his smile nearly took your breath away.

"Of course, James, it would be my pleasure". You had always found Lord James Barnes handsome, a blind person would, but he was also the kindest and strongest man from the neighboring country of Brooklyn.

Dancing with James was wonderful, for such a large man, he was rather graceful on the dance floor. However, you knew a marriage between the two of you would never happen, as he was very much in love with Prince Steven. And against your better judgment you inquired on how the two were doing.

“Well, Steve is courting Duchess Margaret” James advised with a strain in his tone.

“Oh James, I had no idea, I’m incredibly regretful for mentioning him” you attempted to show your empathy, but you really had no idea what he was going through.

“Nonsense, I knew he would need to find a queen in order to take his rightful place on the throne. That is why I am here, I too am in need of a lady to carry on the Barnes lineage” James kissed your knuckles and bowed as the song ended.

Initially you were shocked by his comment, but you supposed that there were certain expectations that no one could avoid. Surprisingly, the remainder of the ball was enjoyable, you danced most of the evening. Meeting new people was a normal part of the monarchy, and although most seemed nice enough, no one captured your attention enough to allow yourself to be courted.

The next several weeks were more of the same, entertaining gentlemen from all of the surrounding kingdoms, making their intentions known to almost everyone they came across. As flattering as it was, there was not a single one you felt any sort of connection to, luckily, during this time you also had Clint to keep you company.

The two of you spent as much time outside of the castle as possible, riding horses and he occasionally provided you with lessons on archery, as it was his specialty. All too soon you were back in another family dinner centered around your possible suitors and who they would allow to court you properly.

“With all due respect father, I believe I should be the one to determine whom I allow to court me. It is, after all, my future we are discussing, my opinion should be the determining factor” smiling as best you could while trying your best to remain civil.

“Of course, we understand that, don’t we dear” your mother quickly spoke up before your father could make the situation so much worse. Odin sighed heavily, thoroughly exhausted with the situation still taking place, and did nothing to hide it.

“My dear, your future and happiness are the most important, however, I feel you may be quick to judge and I don’t want you to miss out your best option solely for the fact you think someone better might come along” your father immediately looks at your mother for confirmation on his statement, and you did not miss the small nod of approval she provided.

“Thank you father, and I promise to make a wise choice for myself and the good of the family” you responded, trying your best to appease him “however long that may take”. You smiled as politely as possible, you had no intent of choosing someone just to get it over with.

That evening your mother came to your chambers to assure you that your father only wanted what was best for you.

“My dear, remember that love, although incredibly important to a successful marriage, may not be there from the very start” the queen smiled as if that made any sense to you at all.

“How am I to marry for love if there isn’t love there?” you questioned immediately.

“Well my lovely daughter, a friendship built on trust and respect can turn into love, eventually. Look at your father and I, our marriage was arranged by our parents. We built a friendship first, it wasn’t until just before you were conceived that we truly fell in love with one another” she spoke with a smile on her face of the fondness of the marriage she had endured for all these years.

You were shocked to learn that their love story didn’t begin until after both Thor and Loki were born. When you were about to question the secrets she just revealed, she stopped you immediately.

“I know what you are thinking, my duty as queen came before all else. Our marriage was an agreement, and bringing heirs to the throne were our first priorities for the kingdom. During that time, your father showed me the man he truly was, through his respect and devotion to me and our children. Along the way, we both fell in love, and love produced you. My life has produced more happiness than I could have ever asked for, and only with your father by my side.” she kissed your head before leaving you for the night.

Presumably to sleep, but after that revelation, you were sure if you could possibly close your eyes without your brain running in every direction.

The next morning was much the same as every other day, except your mind kept reminding you, trust & respect, trust & respect. Knowing you wouldn’t be good company at the dining table, you had your meal brought to you in your room. Deciding the best way to get all the thoughts out of your head, you grabbed your journal and began to write.

By morning, you had a better idea of how to navigate your next steps with your options in courting. The day had progressed like any other, but you were definitely more astute to your interactions with Clint. You needed to know that the trust and respect was reciprocated before approaching him and your offer of marriage.

The more you spend time with him, you realized it had been much more than just trust or respect, you had begun looking forward to your time together, especially when it was only the two of you. By the end of the week, you had come to the realization that you were falling in love with Clint, and that excitement could barely be contained.

It was after a late dinner with the family, when Clint was escorting you to your chambers that you decided to address your feelings for him.

“Would you mind staying a moment, I have something I wanted to speak with you about” you motioned for Clint to follow you into the room.

He merely nodded and followed you, looking a little concerned when you began pacing the room. Taking a deep breath, you turned toward him and smiled, there was no reason to be nervous, you knew Clint and that he would be kind to you, no matter what.

“Since you’ve become my security, I’ve become rather fond of you,” you paused briefly to gauge his reaction, only to see the same stoic face you’ve grown to love.

Giggling to yourself you continue “you have become a dear friend with whom I trust and respect, but I’ve recently realized I am falling in love with you.” Seeing that his expression hadn’t changed, you decided to lay everything out to him in order to move things along as quickly as possible.

“This whole finding a proper suitor has been daunting, but it’s because I’ve been looking in the wrong place. You’ve been here, with me through all of it….and I know it’s not customary for a princess to make such a scandalous request, but I know, that if we married, we could both be very happy for the rest of our lives” you were smiling at Clint, waiting for him to break out the charming smile that he saves only for you, but his expression hadn’t changed while processing everything you had just divulged.

“Y/N….I can’t marry you” barely above a whisper, but you heard it loud and clear.

Rushing to him and grabbing his hands in yours, doing your best to reassure him “we can marry, my parents only want me happy, your status doesn’t matter”.

He looked deep in your eyes, giving you a small but sad smile, “it’s not that, I can’t marry you as I am already married”.

The anger at his blatant lie sprang up in you immediately, stepping away from him and dropping his hands as you crossed your arms over your chest. “You can just tell me the truth, you don’t need to lie to me” trying to sound strong but feeling completely defeated.

“I assure you, I wouldn’t lie to you, and especially not something this important. Laura and I have been married nearly 5 years now, and we are expecting our first child in a few months” he calmly explained but it only confused you.

“Clint, we have been friends for months, you have never once mentioned a wife or child on the way. You needn’t spare my feelings, you can just say that I’m not what you want, I can handle the truth.” Shaking your head you began pacing the room again.

“Y/N, it is true, I don’t discuss my personal life at work, but Laura expecting was what made me leave the active infantry and work in the castle.”

And that is when it hit you, this was a job for him. He didn’t even consider you a friend that he could confide in, you were just a job to him.

Your embarrassment was something you had never felt before, you couldn't even face him to ask him to leave your chambers. The only thing you could do was walk into your private bathroom, locking the door behind you, before attempting to draw your own bath.

The running water had hopefully drowned out the sound of your cries, once the sobbing had started, you weren’t sure you would be able to make it stop. You weren’t sure how long you sat there before the bathroom door was forced open and your mother came in, immediately pulling you into her arms while the maids completed getting the bath ready.

Once you had calmed down, your mother assisted you in getting in the bath and washing your hair. It had been so long since the two of you had quiet moments like this, and it was exactly what you needed while your heart was breaking. She never asked any questions, only took care of her youngest child as only a mother could, even cuddling with you in bed until you woke the next morning.

“My darling” she kissed your forehead as she stroked your back “you are the strongest woman I have ever met, you needn’t make any decisions today. We can stay here all day, take our meals here, read every book in the library, whatever you would like” her smile reassuring you that everything would turn out fine.

“Thank you mother, but I would rather be alone today, if that is alright” giving her the best smile you could muster. “Of course, whatever you need. I will have your meals sent in. I do have some things to take care of today.” Stopping her as she made her way to the door, “Mother, can you also have them bring me some paper and a quill? I have a letter I would like to write.”

As the sun was setting, your letter was written, the Asgardian seal embossed to it and ready to be delivered to its recipient. The only person who had come into your chambers today was your mother, the queen not allowing anyone near you was the most helpful in making your decision.

The next morning you exited your room, with a new determination, and a completely different outlook on your future, one that surprised even yourself. As expected, Clint was standing guard outside of your room, as you made your way toward the dining hall, but was wise enough to not say anything to you, allowing you to handle the situation you had put the two of you in.

Reaching the room seemed to take longer with no conversation, but it was for the best that you move past this with as much dignity as you could. Once he opened the door, you turned to him, he looked expectant and almost hopeful that your comradery would go back to how it had always been, but that was impossible now.

Instead you handed him the letter you had written yesterday. “Can you please have one of the palace footmen deliver this today? It is quite urgent” you gave him a small smile.

“Of course Y/N” he nodded, offering you a small smile as well.

You could have left it at that, but decided to make one final statement to him that would solidify your decision, so while he was still within earshot you replied “thank you Sir Barton”.

His shoulders immediately sagged when he realized you were putting up a barrier between the two of you that hadn’t been there since his first day in the palace. He wanted to say something, explain himself, but he knew nothing would undo the damage he caused by not being honest from the beginning and allowing you a false sense of hope, something he hadn’t intended but was nonetheless solely on his shoulders. As deemed by his position, he merely bowed at your request and made his way out of the dining hall.

The following day the castle was buzzing with excitement before you had even finished getting ready for the day. Not sure what was happening, you sent your maid to find out as much detail as you could before you even allowed her to pick out your wardrobe for the day. Once she made her way back to your chambers you demanded every last detail you could get.

“Well Princess, it seems there is a suitor here, demanding an audience with the King and Queen. We all know that only means one thing, he is bypassing courting you properly and is arranging an engagement with your parents!” she was shocked that any man would attempt such a thing, your strong willed reputation was known throughout the realms.

The smile on your face grew as she fastened your corset and you began picking up your jewelry. “As long as it’s Lord Barnes, that is not an issue” hearing her gasp at your comment made you begin to giggle.

“How do you know it’s Lord Barnes, I was saving that for the shocking reveal”

“Oh, I apologize for thwarting your plan. But Lord Barnes is here because I summoned him” you winked at her as she finished pinning your hair back.

Her jaw nearly dropped to the floor, “you summoned a suitor? Is that allowed?” whispering to make the innocent question seem scandalous.

“My dear, as Prince of Asgardia, the only way I will ever get what I want, is by taking it” you stood and made your way out of the room, not even glancing at Clint who was at his post as usual. Making your way to the throne room, you tried your best to walk at your usual pace, but today you had a mission to accomplish.

#avengers au #avengers bingo #avengers unrequited love #avengers fanfiction #marvel au #marvel fanfiction #avengers reader insert #marvel reader insert #clint barton x reader #bucky barnes x reader #Thor Odinson #loki of asgard

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mostly-marvel-musings · 1 year

Text

Taken Captive

Summary: Bumping into exes is always hard, it is worse when he also happens to be Iron Man, which means basically walking around with a target on your back at all times.

Warnings: Angst, maybe fluff?

Pairing: Tony Stark x F! Reader

Square Filled: Taken Captive

Word count: 1.8k ish?

A/N: Written for @avengersbingo Feedback is love! Thank you :)

Avengers Bingo Masterlist

“You know what? I get why Pepper chose to leave you, Tony.”

You instantly regretted saying it out loud, watching Tony’s hurt face only made it worse. You didn’t mean it. It was in the moment you said it to hurt him back for everything he had put you through.

And after that, there was nothing left to say. Just painful silence that surrounded the two of you before you stormed into your shared bedroom. Grabbing all of your things from the closet, you threw them in a bag, old pictures, Tony’s old sweatshirt that you had stolen years ago, you held it in your hands for a moment and inhaled the scent that distinctly belonged to Tony.

With that heavy bag and a heavier heart, you dragged yourself outside to call for the elevator, Tony following you from where he’d been rooted after your argument.

“Where are you going?”

“Back to my place. It doesn’t make sense for me to stay here anymore, does it? I cannot keep fighting for us alone, Tony. We’re done.”

Your voice wavered as you spoke, willing your eyes to take a look at his face one last time before leaving. It was a mistake, seeing his big brown orbs full of sorrow broke your heart into a million pieces.

But it had to be done. You couldn’t convince yourself that he was going to change anymore, you were exhausted being the only one in the relationship.

You took a stand, breaking two hearts as collateral damage. As the elevator doors closed, you let yourself feel every bit of pain that you had pushed down previously, tears flowed down your cheeks freely and sobs wracked your body.

…

Three months since that day, and you found yourself staring at a mirror trying out dresses to look your best for a gala you had committed to ages ago. It would be rude to not show up just because the man who hosted it wasn’t by your side anymore; plus you had convinced yourself that you were doing it for the team - your found family.

Then again, he would be there. You had to look your absolute best for the event, for a part of you wanted Tony Stark to eat his heart out.

Steve had called in earlier to ask you to be his date for the evening, knowing you would probably be overthinking in your head about it; he wanted to do all he could to help get the two of you to finally talk.

A part of you couldn’t wait to see Tony. You missed him more than you ever admitted to yourself. It was rather quiet without all the chaos that Tony Stark brought with him.

A knock on your front door broke you out of reverie, bringing you back to reality where with a final look in the mirror, you took your purse and opened the door to reveal a tuxedo-clad Steve Rogers, looking as handsome as ever.

“Wow, Y/N.” He took in your appearance with a warm smile and bent down to kiss your cheek, offering you his arm as you two left for the Tower.

“Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

As fancy galas go, men and women dressed in shiny, flowy clothes grouped together, deep in conversation and drinks. Steve placed a comforting hand on top of yours as you unconsciously gripped his arm tighter, scanning the room warily.

“He’s not here yet, Y/N. When is Tony ever on time for his own party?” He smiled, waving to a few people who caught his attention.

“Right, okay. I need a drink.”

Among the crowd of snooty rich people, your eyes kept scanning for your smug and snarky billionaire while the whiskey on the rocks in your hand clinked noisily. Every sip calmed your jittery nerves only a little, that was until a throat cleared behind you, one you recognised too well that made your stomach drop.

It seemed like an awfully long time in your head before you mustered the courage to turn around and face the man.

“You made it.”

Tony’s voice was laced with equal parts surprise and relief, his big brown orbs taking in your form like a starved man while you let yours scan him as well.

Tony looked the same, maybe more handsome than you last remembered. The sharp, charcoal black tuxedo he wore fit him perfectly, his familiar cologne mixed with a hint of coffee and whiskey washed over you as he leaned in to press a chaste kiss against your cheek simply because he couldn’t help himself.

“I had to, I’m still a part of the team, aren’t I?” You shrugged, shuffling from one foot to another nervously under his gaze.

“Of course. You’re wearing the necklace I bought you.” You could hear a hint of a smile in his voice as he nursed the drink in his hand, giving you all of his attention.

“Yeah well, it went with the dress.”

“Is that the only reason why you wore it?”

“Don’t push your luck, Stark.”

He was met with your famous eye-roll he missed so much, letting out a chuckle. The chemistry you two had had always been undeniable. Even after your separation, the air was thick with romance two of you once shared, things left unsaid and palpable attraction you felt.

“You look alright.” You commented.

“Alright?”

“I—I mean, you look good. The suit looks great. Looks like you’ve been sleeping well.”

You muttered, fidgeting with the glass in your hand, unaware of what suddenly made you so nervous. Maybe you were aware of the fact that Tony had moved significantly closer and you knew you’d lose yourself in those brown eyes that were once home.

“It’s makeup. I’ve missed you, Y/N.”

“Tony—”

You were almost mad that someone interrupted you two even though you hadn’t been too sure where the conversation with Tony was heading.

He took your hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze, whispering a quick ‘I’ll find you later’ promise, leaving your heart to flutter hopelessly as you watched him disappear in the crowd.

It had been hours since Tony’s promise to return, hope and patience both wore thin and you found yourself out on the balcony of the penthouse floor, leaning against the glass railing, letting the chilly night air caress your body.

You were thankful you had some food and whiskey to keep you warm but a part of you wished Tony were here to cover you with his jacket that always smelt comforting.

Maybe he wasn’t coming…maybe this was one of those Tony promises that kept you waiting after him but never turned into reality. This was one of the reasons you took a stand for yourself and had broken it off with him and now here you were again. Maybe you coming here was a mistake.

Unfortunately you were right about the last bit.

A pinprick to your neck was all you felt seconds before your vision blurred and a black cloth was forced over your head, your body dragged away by two men who had appeared on the balcony unnoticed by the crowd outside.

A piercing headache and a dull but prominent ache in your sides woke you up with a start, your eyes focusing on surroundings that were oddly familiar.

It wasn’t those grumbly voices you picked up while they had dragged you out of there, when the drug was wearing off yet you pretended to stay unconscious. They had intended to lure Tony out by taking you, a threat that had loomed over your head ever since you and Tony had got together.

Lifting your head, you quickly figured you were back in the Tower, possibly in Tony’s and your old room. Nat sat beside you with a worried look in her eyes, helping you up and offering you a glass of water.

“How’s Tony?” You whispered, your voice still a little weak from lack of use.

“He’s fine. He’s pissed.” Tony answered for you, guilt washing over him as the first thing you asked right after waking up was about him and not yourself. He was leaning against the wall adjacent to the bed, arms crossed and hands balled up into fists.

Natasha placed a comforting hand on your shoulder that had Tony’s jacket draped over it, quietly exiting the room leaving the two of you alone. Tony stood silent, avoiding your eyes.

“I’m okay, Tony.”

“You can tell those lies to someone who believes them.” He murmured, shadows engulfed his brown orbs, making them appear sadder as he finally looked your way.

You stood up gingerly, Tony quick on his feet to be by your side.

“I think I know the men who kidnapped me, their voices seemed familiar.” That hopeless fluttering of your heart was back as you felt Tony’s hand slide around your waist, holding you securely as you walked towards the bathroom.

“Killian. We had encountered them at a gala months ago. I should’ve been there, I should have been there with you.”

You saw a pained expression on his handsome features, something that made your heart ache for him. Clasping your hand in his, you gave it a reassuring squeeze only to be taken by surprise when Tony pulled you in for a hug, burying his face in your hair and holding onto you tight as if you’d disappear if he didn’t.

“I am here with you, Tony. I’m alright. And yes, you should have been there.” You added the last bit with a small chuckle, letting your fingers play with the ends of his soft hair.

“I’m such an idiot..”

“You’re stubborn, a spoiled brat, a pain in my ass, careless…not an idiot really.” You murmured, not pulling away from the hug as the smile on your face grew wider.

“I’m really ready for this to turn into a compliment now..”

Tony let out a laugh, pressing a kiss against your temple and cupping your face in his hands. His eyes implored yours silently, taking in your beautiful face that he had missed so terribly. Leaning into his touch, your eyes traveled down to his lips, wanting nothing more than to kiss him this moment.

Thankfully he took the queue and closed the distance between the two of you, making you melt into his touch as you eagerly kissed him back, leaving all words unsaid as your bodies did the talking.

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sunriserose1023 · 1 year

Text

Ignite Your Bones

PAIRING: Bucky x Avenger!Reader WORD COUNT: 10k SQUARE FILLED: Bleeding Through the Bandages WARNINGS: Canon-level violence, injuries, explicit mentions of blood and bleeding, medical terminology, medical situations, angst AUTHOR'S NOTE: I've been working on this one for quite some time. It's a fill for my @badthingshappenbingo card, along with a little enemies to lovers vibe. Title taken from "Fix You," by Coldplay, which definitely fits the last section of this story.

You slammed the door as you walked into the compound, narrowing your eyes at the questioning looks from the people on the couch in the common room.

“The next time you send me on a mission with him, expect him back in pieces, Captain.”

Steve opened his mouth, closing it again when you stomped out of the room. Two seconds after your boots stopped clicking on the kitchen floor, the door slammed again as Bucky made his way into the common room.

“Never in my life have I dealt with anyone so reckless, so … stupid, and I grew up with you, Steve!” “‘Stupid?!’”

Bucky muttered “Goddamn it” under his breath as you stomped back into the room, a bag of Doritos in one hand, orange dust-covered finger poking him in the chest.

“You think I’m stupid?” “Running into a building of heavily armed combatants—“ “Ooh, breaking out the big words, Sarge.” “Get that finger out of my chest before I break it off.”

You dragged your dusty fingers through the stubble on his cheek, smiling wickedly at the disgust on his face as he lifted a hand to wipe off Dorito dust.

“You’re disgusting.” “Kiss my ass, Barnes.”

You turned and walked away before he could say another word, and Bucky glared in your direction before he turned back to the couch.

“Next time you want to send me on a mission with her, don’t.”

Bucky walked down the hallway, muttering under his breath as he rubbed a hand over his jaw. Back on the couch, Steve studied the floor and beside him, Natasha rearranged herself, toes crawling under his thigh until he sighed and shifted, picking up her ankles and setting her feet on his lap. He started massaging her heels, finally looking over, making eye contact with her, seeing the joy in her eyes. He shrugged as he spoke.

“So maybe I did that on purpose.” “You know they hate each other.” “‘Hate’ is a strong word.” “Hiding an even stronger emotion?”

Steve smiled, popping her toes.

“Guess we’ll just see, huh?”

“Of all the rude, idiotic, downright miserable human beings … I mean … he’s such an asshole! Right?”

You turned around, the pure white cat sitting on the floor behind you. She tilted her head, tail swishing back and forth across the tile floor. She gave a questioning meow and you nodded.

“Yeah, Bucky Barnes. I never thought I’d say this, but he’s the bane of my existence. I can’t even breathe right around him. Can you believe that, Alpine?”

She meowed again and you nodded back.

“Trust me, you’d hate him, too. But I’d never subject my best girl to the likes of him. He’s awful, Alp. Just awful.”

She stood up, stretching her paws, arching her back. She walked over to you, weaving her way in and out of your legs, her tail looping around your calf. You bent to scratch your nails on her head, and she bumped her head against your hand.

“Don’t worry, Alpine. We’re better off without Bucky Barnes in our lives. I promise.”

Bucky aimed his gun and fired, turning slightly towards his right before firing again. He straightened once his targets had fallen to the ground, seeing Natasha and Clint on the roof of the building, hearing the steady idling of the quinjet. He heard a distinct sound in his earpiece, watching Natasha turn towards it and he blew out a breath, running towards the east. He shook his head as he saw his target recoil from the punch he had thrown, cursing under his breath as he raised his gun and fired again, the target crumpling to the ground. Bucky tucked his gun away as he slowed to a walk, shaking his head as he loomed over you. From your place on your back on the ground, you slowly met his eyes, squinting your eyes as the sun glared behind him. Bucky sighed, offering a hand.

“You know … sometimes I think you like getting punched.” “Oh, shut up.”

You laid a hand in his as he helped you to your feet. You groaned, lifting a hand to your forehead as Bucky held your shoulders.

“You okay? Seeing double?” “God forbid. If I had to deal with two of you…”

You shook your head, going still and groaning again.

“Take it easy.”

You moved to lean against him, and Bucky wrapped an arm around you, laying his metal hand over your left ear.

“Talk to me. What year is it?” “It’s, uh… oh god.”

You pushed him away and Bucky stepped back just in time as you threw up at his feet. He wrinkled his nose and turned his head, closing one eye as he looked up to Nat and Clint. He turned back just in time to catch you as you fainted, shaking his head and lifting you into his arms.

“I don’t get paid enough for this shit.”

You laid on your couch with Alpine on the arm at your feet, watching as she licked her paw.

“You know we have a room you could use specifically for bathing.”

She didn’t dignify you with a response, and you sighed as you gingerly rolled your head towards the television. Netflix was playing softly, the documentary you’d tried to watch long since lost your attention. You sighed and turned the TV off, tossing the remote to your coffee table and gently turning your head. You closed your eyes, pulling the blanket up to your chin, exhaling as the throb in your head made itself known again. You gave a quiet moan, smiling when Alpine crept over and curled up on your stomach. You took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

“Miss Y/N, Sergeant Barnes is requesting entry.”

You gave a quiet moan at the soft voice sounding through the speakers of your apartment.

“Let him in, F.R.I.D.A.Y.”

He was just going to have to fend for himself, because your head was hurting too badly for you to do anything except nap. You heard the door unlock and then open, heard it softly click shut. You grunted when Alpine used your belly to launch herself to the back of the couch, tail swishing as her blue eyes studied the intruder.

“I didn’t know you had a cat.”

His voice was soft, and you answered in turn, not opening your eyes.

“Her name is Alpine. She’s very self-sufficient and she adores Happy. He takes care of her for me when we go on missions.” “Huh.”

You heard Bucky’s careful footsteps as he walked to the couch, giving a sigh when his shadow fell over your face and hid the light. You cracked open one eye when you heard a distinct purr, finding Alpine preening under his gentle touch, moving her head to keep in contact with his hand.

“I think she likes me.” “She has questionable tastes.”

Bucky chuckled as he stepped back, Alpine meowing in protest. You moved your eye to follow Bucky and he nodded to you.

“Sit up.” “No.”

He blew out a breath.

“I’m here to help you.” “My head throbs when I move.” “I know. Bruce sent a pill with me to help that.” “I don’t want—“ “I know. It’s just going to knock you out. Your concussion isn’t that bad. Just painful. Come on.”

You moaned and groaned as Bucky helped you into a sitting position, and he managed to roll his eyes only a few times. You gripped his flesh arm as waves of nausea rolled over you, the throb in your head seeming to echo with every heartbeat.

“Just breathe.”

You whimpered, leaning into him, allowing your head to rest on his shoulder. He leaned his head on yours, shushing you softly, the stubble on his chin tickling your forehead.

“You okay?” “I think so.” “Let me get you some water.”

You nodded, eyes closed as he walked into the kitchen, filling a glass and walking it back. He put the glass in your hand, setting the pill in your other hand. You opened your eyes, wincing as you did.

“What is it?” “It’ll help.” “Bucky.” “I’m not a doctor, but a doctor gave it to me. We trust them, remember?”

You snorted.

“Them I trust. You, not so much.”

He rolled his eyes, but smiled.

“Just take the damn pill.” “What if I’m allergic to it?” “That’s why I’m here, and I’m staying until we see how it affects you.”

You gave a shake of your head, moaning softly.

“Nat busy?” “Yes, and Wanda was, too. Sorry, kid. You’re stuck with me.” “I’m not a kid.” “Then take the damn pill.”

You sighed, putting the pill in your mouth and quickly drinking. You wrinkled your nose at the bitter taste, finishing the water.

“Atta girl.” “Don’t patronize me, Barnes. Let me sleep.” “That’s the plan, cupcake. Lay down.” “Do not call me ‘cupcake.’” “Just lay your ass down.”

You did, rolling onto your side and closing your eyes, doing your best to ignore the throbbing in your head. You felt the blanket cover you, but you couldn’t open your eyes again. You felt Bucky’s gentle touch to your forehead, heard his soft murmur to get F.R.I.D.A.Y. to turn off the lights, and your headache started to ease as you drifted to sleep.

Bucky stood over you, shaking his head as your breathing evened out, your eyebrows relaxed, and the pain that had been evident on your face disappeared. Bucky watched you sleep for a moment, turning and going into the kitchen to put the soup Wanda had sent with him into your fridge. He turned and stopped, staring at the cat in the middle of the kitchen floor. Her tail swished back and forth over the tiles, blue eyes locked onto him.

“I come in peace. Even though your mom would probably disagree.”

Alpine chirped back at him and Bucky’s eyebrows raised.

“So you’ve heard of me.”

Alpine turned her head and Bucky chuckled.

“I’m sure she’s bitched about me to you, but I’m not that bad, I promise.”

He knelt down and Alpine walked to him, sniffing the hand he held out before bumping it with her head. Bucky smiled, petting the cat.

“See? You can tell I’m a good guy. Well, I mean … might not go that far. But I’m okay.”

He moved to sit on the floor, sighing as Alpine crawled into his lap.

“Your mom just brings out the worst in me. I don’t know why. I mean … you know how she can be, right?”

Alpine chirped and Bucky nodded.

“Exactly. You get it.”

Alpine leaned closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. Bucky moved his hand to scratch under her chin.

“She’s really not so bad. It’s just easy to get her riled up. And now we’ve just always acted like this, so why change, you know? But she …”

Bucky glanced towards the living room, where you were softly snoring on the couch. He sighed, shaking his head.

“She’s got to stop being so stupid in the field.”

Alpine gave a quiet hiss and Bucky looked at her with wide eyes.

“I didn’t mean anything by it, but she doesn’t think. She just goes balls to the wall and one of these days she’s going to get killed. I swear to God, she's just like Steve. I’m like a magnet to little bleeding heart do-gooders with no sense of self-preservation.”

Bucky lifted a hand to rub over his face as he sighed. He shook his head, gently ushering the cat off his lap, smiling at her offended glare.

“Come on. I’ve got to stay at least another hour to make sure she’s alright.”

He walked back into the living room, finding you sound asleep and breathing fine. He grabbed a book from your bookshelf and sat in a chair, smiling when Alpine jumped into his lap and curled up, purring when his metal hand began gently petting her.

“I swear to God, if you don’t get your hand off my back, I will break it off and shove it up your—“ “Easy, cupcake. We’re supposed to be deeply in love, remember?”

You smiled as you and Bucky passed a couple in the hallway. You gave the woman a nod, laying your hand against Bucky’s shoulder. When the two of you rounded the corner and it was apparent you were alone, you dug your nails into his neck, pinching right at the pressure point. Bucky’s knees buckled and he stumbled as he cried out.

“Son of a bitch!”

Bucky jumped away from you, blue eyes flashing as he lifted a hand to his neck. You looked at him with wide, innocent eyes, blinking once.

“What’s wrong, dear?” “You’re an insufferable witch.” “Ooh, watch it, cupcake. We’re supposed to be in love, remember?”

Bucky stepped closer to you, the hand you expected was going for your throat gentling as voices could be heard just before people rounded the corner. Bucky stepped even closer, his nose brushing against yours as his hand came to rest on your shoulder, his words muttered under his breath.

“I loathe you.”

You gave a breathy giggle.

“Right back at you, toots.”

The people walked away and Bucky stepped back from you, straightening his suit jacket.

“Can we just get the intel and get the fuck out of here?” “It would be my pleasure. Just—“ “Stay out of my way.”

You blinked as Bucky walked away from you, narrowing your eyes as you followed him, heels clicking on the marble floor.

“Priscilla! Oh, there you are darling. You look lovely!”

You took her hands as you accepted the kisses to your cheeks, smiling at the heiress before you.

“Amelia, it’s so good to see you.”

Amelia didn’t even try to hide her blatant perusal of the man beside you and she gave him a demure smile.

“Amelia Weatherford.” “Of Weatherford Jewels?” “Handsome and intelligent. My favorite combination.”

Bucky smiled as he took the hand she offered, pressing his lips to the back of it. You blinked at the sudden flame of fury you felt roll down your spine, shaking your head as he straightened.

“Nicholas Rockefeller.”

Amelia’s eyes widened, as did yours when you turned to Bucky. He winked at you, offering his arm.

“Miss Weatherford—“ “Amelia, please.”

Bucky nodded.

“Amelia, will you excuse us? I promised Prissy a dance.”

Amelia grinned, nodding her head and stepping back, allowing the two of you space to walk to the dance floor. Bucky turned to face you, taking one of your hands, settling his other on your hip. You dug your nails into his hand, setting your other on his shoulder. You put a smile on your face, leaning in closer.

“Rockefeller? Are you out of your goddamned mind?” “You pull out a Rockefeller, no one questions it.” “Maybe that worked in the olden days, Grandpa, but these days that shit can be verified in a few seconds.” “Would you relax and get your fucking nails out of my skin?”

You loosened your hold on him, pulling him closer and studying the room over his shoulder.

“So how’d you cross paths with a jewelry heiress?”

You smiled, murmuring just as softly as Bucky had.

“Undercover op in Ibiza, years ago. I’m actually surprised she remembered me.” “Well, it was Ibiza.” “Good point.”

Bucky moved his hand to the small of your back, eyebrow raising at your sudden intake of breath. Your eyes met his and you shook your head.

“Don’t even. You just took me off-guard.” “Mm-hmm.” “I still can’t believe you went with Rockefeller. That’s not who we agreed on.” “Sometimes you’ve just got to go with whatever strikes you in the moment, cupcake.”

You scoffed.

“Stop calling me cupcake. And don’t ever call me ‘Prissy’ again.” “It’s a common nickname for Priscillas.” “How many Priscillas do you know? You know what? Don’t answer that.”

Bucky chuckled, pulling you closer, smiling when you gasped quietly again.

“Quit it.”

He chuckled again, cheek brushing against yours when he saw a figure over your shoulder.

“He’s here.” “Who?” “You know who.”

You slowly nodded, pressing your temple against his.

“You want to take this one or me?” “I’ll do it. Let’s meet up in ten minutes, cupcake. Don’t be late.” “Fifty bucks says it takes longer.” “I’ll take that bet.”

You giggled, pulling back and staring into his blue eyes. You ran a finger down his nose, tapping his lips before turning away.

“Amelia!”

She rushed to you and you took her hands.

“Do you know where the ladies’ room is?” “Of course!”

Amelia winked at Bucky.

“I’ll bring her right back, Mister Rockefeller.”

Bucky winked back at her, and Amelia giggled as she leaned closer to you, touching your forehead with her own. The two of you began walking away, and you glanced over your shoulder to see Bucky making his way across the room.

“Fifty bucks richer.”

You shook your head, crossing your arms in the cool night air. You glanced around, then went back inside, shivering at the sudden temperature change. You walked to the doorways and looked into the ballroom, quickly scanning the room and coming up empty.

“Yeah, this was a great op to refuse comms. Stupid boy.”

You looked around the hall, hearing a metallic clattering from a room nearby. You shook your head, a sneer on your lips.

“Five to ten odds he’s banging a waitress in the back alley.”

You looked from one end of the room to the other, lips twisting as you murmured to yourself.

You shook your head, putting a smile on your face and making your way through the ballroom. In the hallway, you looked right and then left, before deciding to go left. You stepped to the side when a man in a suit rushed past you, nearly running into you, and you narrowed your eyes at him before you continued on your journey. You rounded a corner and let out a breath.

“There you are.”

Bucky was standing with his back to you in the middle of the hallway. You shook your head, dress swishing on the ground, heels clicking on the floor as you rounded to stand in front of him.

“‘Let’s meet up in ten minutes, cupcake. Don’t be late.’ And what happens? Cupcake shows up like always. Grumpy Old Man flakes, as usual.”

Bucky didn’t roll his eyes. He didn’t shrug and turn away from you, like just the sight of you was enough to make him sick. He didn’t make any movement at all, which made the hair on the back of your neck stand up. You glanced at his feet, going still at the drops of blood by his shoes. You moved a hand to gently touch his shoulder.

“Buck? Hey. What’s wrong?”

He blinked, slowly moving his eyes to yours. Your eyebrows furrowed at the look on his face, paler than usual, paler than you were comfortable with. Your ears perked up at the sharp exhalation he gave, and you shook your head as your eyes combed over him.

“What happened? What?” “I think … I think he stabbed me.” “What?”

Your eyes widened, and you grabbed the lapels of Bucky’s suit jacket, opening it and gasping when you saw the crimson spreading over the right side of his stark white shirt.

“Oh, shit.”

You pressed a hand against his side and he gave a quiet moan. You looked over his shoulders, then behind yours and he shook his head.

“He’s gone. I didn’t … I didn’t get—“ “It’s okay. Can you walk? We need to get out of here.”

Bucky nodded, and you stayed beside him, hand pressed against his side as the two of you took a step together. Bucky shook his head, reaching to grab hold of your arm.

“Damn it, that hurts.” “Hang in there, Buck. Just one foot in front of the other.”

He nodded, looping an arm around your neck. He grunted with every slow step the two of you took, sweat breaking out over his forehead. You could feel your hand getting wetter as the bleeding continued, but Bucky refused to stop until the two of you were outside. You looked around, speaking as you scanned the parking lot.

“Let me get a cab.” “No, I—“ “You can’t walk all the way to the hotel.” “No, but I can’t bleed all over a cab either.”

Your mind was racing, and you turned your head to look at him.

“Do I need to call an ambulance?” “No. Just …”

Bucky blew out a breath, blinking wide eyes before exhaling again.

“Do you know how to hot-wire a car?”

You narrowed your eyes.

“Do I look like a natural-born idiot? Of course I know how to hot-wire a car!”

Bucky grinned, sweat rolling down his pale face. You swallowed as you looked at his side and he nodded. You helped him take his jacket off, balling it up and pressing it against his side. He moaned, squeezing his eyes shut, nodding as you moved your hands away and moved his to hold the jacket in place. You ran through the parking lot, ignoring the shaking in your hands as you found a nondescript dark-colored SUV, easily picking the lock on the driver’s side door and quickly hot-wiring the car. You drove to where you’d left Bucky, helping him into the passenger’s seat. You pulled open the glove compartment and almost cried in relief.

“Look! First aid kit.”

You pulled it out and opened it up, finding the biggest bandage you could. Bucky gritted his teeth as he lifted his shirt and you pressed the bandage to his skin, doing your best to ignore the immediate spread of blood under it. You shook your head, pulling his shirt down, going to the driver’s side and climbing in, speeding away from the gala and towards the nondescript motel you were staying.

“Are you—“ “I’m okay.”

You nodded, both hands tightly gripping the wheel. You kept your eyes on the road, shaking your head.

“I thought you had the serum to heal you.” “I do, but it’s not always … instantaneous.”

You bit your bottom lip hard, making yourself smile.

“You don’t have to try and impress me with big words, you know.”

Bucky barked a laugh, but it trailed into a groan. You white-knuckled the steering wheel, breathing a sigh of relief when you saw the motel.

“Thank god. We made it.”

You looked over to see Bucky with his eyes closed, big body slumped against the door.

“No! No, Buck, stay awake. Bucky!”

He jumped when you threw an arm over, smacking his shoulder. He blinked wide eyes and you shook your head.

“Don’t go to sleep.” “Okay.” “I mean it, Bucky. Stay with me.”

He nodded, groaning as he pressed a hand to his side. You parked the car and jumped out, running to help him out of the car, looping his arm around your neck, helping him lean onto you as the two of you hobbled into the room. He immediately collapsed onto the bed and you stood over him, ripping his shirt open and giving a shaking breath.

“Jesus, Buck.”

You bit your tongue as you saw the blood-soaked bandage you’d placed on him. He nodded, wincing as he squeezed his eyes shut.

“Fuck, it hurts.” “I know. Let me …”

Your words trailed off as you ran into the bathroom, gathering towels and wetting one.

“My … suitcase.”

You poked your head out of the bathroom to see Bucky pointing and you unzipped the front pocket of his suitcase to find a bottle of rubbing alcohol.

“Thank God.”

Bucky nodded as you hurried back into the bathroom, gathering the towels and the alcohol and heading back to him. You walked into the room to see Bucky with his eyes closed, blood-covered hand hanging over the edge of the bed.

“No! Bucky, no.”

He jumped at your sharp tone, eyes sluggishly opening. You shook your head as you dropped your supplies onto the bed before looming over him.

“You stay with me. Do not close your eyes.”

Bucky smirked as you turned away.

“First you … rip my shirt off, then you … boss me around. Keep … keep it—-“ “You can’t even talk, much less pretend like you could get it up. Don’t even.”

Bucky laughed, groaning when you pulled the bandage off his side. You tossed the blood-soaked bandage off the bed, pouring alcohol over his wound before pressing the wet towel against his side. You increased the pressure and his groan grew louder, metal hand moving to grip your arm.

“I’m sorry.” “Don’t. You’re … fine. Don’t let me hurt you.”

You nodded, trying your best to clean the wound. Blood continued to bubble out and you shook your head.

“God, there’s so much blood.” “Might’ve n … nicked the liver.” “No, there’s got to be … oh, fuck. Fuck, Bucky. He got you twice.”

Bucky rolled as best he could when you tapped his shoulder, and you gave a quiet whine when you saw the wound to his back, inches from the first wound. You shook your head as you moved the towel and pressed both of your hands to both of his wounds.

“Goddamn it, Y/N.” “Don’t give me shit right now. I’m trying to save your life.” “I know. I’m just …”

He wheezed out a breath, and you quickly set a thick bandage on the wound on his back. Bucky rolled back to his back, wincing as you put another bandage on his front.

“Just breathe.”

Bucky nodded, widening his eyes. You shook your head, leaning over him.

“Come on, bionic man. You’ve got an arm made out of the strongest metal in the world and you’re going to let a little prison shank take you out?”

Bucky wheezed out a laugh, his metal arm moving to cup your elbow, thumb rubbing over your skin as his sleepy eyes met your own.

“I’ll be … fine.” “Please don’t leave me, Buck. Stay with me.”

He nodded, eyes drifting closed.

“No, damn it. No! Open your eyes and keep them open. Bucky, please. Oh, look what you’ve done. You got blood on your dog tags.”

He blinked his eyes open at that, looking down to see your blood-covered fingertips grab onto his dog tags before letting them sit in your bloody palm. He shook his head, your thumbprint perfectly outlined on the smooth side of the metal.

“You did that.” “Prove it.”

Bucky groaned, head falling back on the pillow.

“Fuck.” “I know. Just hold on.”

Your eyes widened when you looked down at the bandage, blood seeping out from under it. You swallowed and pulled the bandage off, cleaning the blood as best you could before finagling a piece of gauze and taping it to his skin. Blood quickly soaked through the gauze and bubbled around the tape.

“You’ve got to … stitch it up.”

You looked up and met his eyes, shaking your head.

“What? No. No, I …I can call for—“ “For what?”

You looked at his pale face, watching his eyes slowly blink open, the icy blue dull around his widening pupils. He gave a slow shake of his head.

“They … won’t make it.” “Buck, I can’t.” “You … have to. You … you’re my only … hope.”

You squeezed your eyes closed, shaking your head. You opened your eyes again and he gave you a small smile. He nodded and you blew out a breath.

“Oh, god.” “You … can do this.”

You nodded, stepping back from the bed and to his suitcase, pulling out a sewing kit. You blew out a breath, shaking your head.

“Goddamn it.”

You grabbed a needle and some thread, moving back to the bed and picking up the bottle of alcohol, pouring it over the needle. Your hands shook as you tried to thread the needle, stilling when you felt metal fingers gently brushing your elbow again. You looked at him and Bucky smiled.

“You’ve got this.”

You shook your head, staring into his sleepy eyes.

“I’ve never sewn anything before.” “Nothing … to it. Just … back and—back and forth.”

You nodded again, doing as he instructed, listening to his murmurs as he walked you through how to knot the thread. You blew out a breath and wiped the towel over his skin, cleaning away the blood.

“Pinch the … skin together.”

You did as he said, doing your best to ignore his wince. He shook his head.

“Don't … pay atten—attention to me. Just do it.” “Okay, Nike.”

He gave a breathy laugh, groaning as you took the opportunity and pushed the needle through his skin. Your eyes were wide, mouth open when you saw what you’d done to him, the stark black thread standing out against his skin.

“Oh my god.” “Keep—keep going. In and—“ “Out. In and out.”

Bucky nodded, groaning again as you pulled and tugged, pushing the needle into his skin, pulling it out, closing the wound on his side. You tied another knot in the end of the thread, helping Bucky move the slightest bit onto his side. You couldn’t stop the whine from escaping your lips when you saw the blood-soaked bandage on his back, pulling it off and cleaning the wound as best you could. You licked your lips and cleared your mind, focusing only on the task at hand, going through the same motions as you stitched up the other, albeit smaller, wound. You gave a sigh of relief, laughing softly.

“Okay. Okay, that’s it. They’re closed.”

You rolled Bucky back to his back, the breath catching in your throat when you saw his eyes closed.

“No, no, no. Bucky? Buck, open your eyes.”

He didn’t do what you said this time. Your hand gently slapped his face, and you let the tears come when he gave a soft moan, trying to move away from you. You nodded, your hand resting against his cheek as you brought your knees up, resting your elbow on them as you put your forehead against your wrist and cried.

After a moment, you sniffed and stood up, going into the bathroom and staring at yourself in the mirror. Your gown was stained with Bucky’s blood, your hands were covered in it, it was caked under your nails. You even had blood on your forehead. You closed your eyes, opening them again to see your blood-soaked reflection staring back at you.

“Carrie. I’m Carrie at the prom.”

A laugh bubbled from your lips and you lifted a hand with the intention of covering your mouth. The laughter died as you gasped instead, staring at your hand. You took in a shaky breath, glancing over your shoulder and watching Bucky’s chest rise and fall a few times. You walked to the shower and turned it on, not even bothering to check the temperature before you walked into the shower fully clothed.

You sat on the side of the bed, eyes focused on Bucky’s chest as it rose and fell. You’d at least combed your hair when you got out of the shower, leaving it in wet ropes around your head. You’d pulled on a pair of sweatpants before rifling through Bucky’s bag and stealing one of his Henleys.

You’d felt so cold ever since you’d gotten out of the shower.

You looked down at the phone in your hand, taking in a breath before letting it out slowly. You tapped the screen until you found a number, lifting the phone to your ear.

“Hello?” “Hey, it … it’s me.” “Hey, you. How’s it going?”

You looked to the bed, shaking your head as your bottom lip wobbled.

“Not … not great.” “What’s wrong?” “Bucky got stabbed.” “Jesus. Is he okay? Where are you?” “We’re at the motel. Clint, I had to sew him up.”

You couldn’t fight back the sob, and you put your forehead in your hand as you heard Clint murmuring through the phone.

“Y/N, it’s Steve. Is he alive?”

You nodded until you trusted your voice.

“He’s unconscious, but he’s breathing. I had to sew up the wounds and I’ve never done that before. You need to come get us and get him to a doctor.” “I’m sure you did fine.” “There was so much blood.”

Steve didn’t say anything after your whisper, and his voice was shaky when he spoke again.

“We’re on the way.” “We didn’t finish the mission.” “That doesn’t matter now.”

You nodded, closing your eyes as Clint came back on the line, telling you they’d be there in a few hours. You hung up the phone, moving to the other bed, lifting a shaky hand to brush through Bucky’s hair.

“They’re coming, Buck. Steve’s coming and he’s going to help you. You’re going to be okay.”

Bucky muttered nonsense words, and you shushed him, hand coming to rest against his cheek. Bucky murmured again, leaning into your touch before settling down again.

You sat on the other bed and watched as Steve ran in, hitting his knees beside the bed where Bucky was still sleeping. Clint pulled up a hologram of Helen Cho, who praised your stitches and instructed the boys to get Bucky to her cradle ASAP. They were loading him onto a stretcher when Wanda walked in, kneeling before you.

“Hey, you. Let’s go home.”

You turned your head to meet her eyes, your own eyes narrowing. Even though you’d been watching and hearing everything that was happening around you, you felt far away, like you’d been watching television instead of real life. You swallowed, giving Wanda a nod when she murmured your name again. She held out a hand and you grabbed onto it, holding tighter than you realized. You blinked when you noticed Sam grabbing your suitcases.

“The … the dress.” “What dress, honey?”

You blinked as you looked at Wanda again, like you weren’t entirely sure if she was there.

“The dress for the gala. It’s … it’s in the bathroom.”

Wanda nodded to Sam.

“We’ll take care of it. Come on, sweetie.”

You followed her lead, still gripping tightly to her hand as she led you to the quinjet.

Two weeks later, Bucky walked into the kitchen, heading for the fruit bowl.

“How are there never any bananas? I swear to god, I put them on the grocery list yesterday.”

Natasha’s eyebrows raised, but she didn’t say anything as she spread peanut butter over the piece of bread in her hand. Bucky blew out a breath, muttering to himself as he picked up an orange instead.

“Nat, are you stealing all the bananas?” “Do I look like a banana thief?”

Bucky shrugged his metal shoulder as he peeled his orange. Natasha glanced at him, raising an eyebrow.

“We have knives for that, you know?”

Bucky grinned at her with a section of orange in his mouth and she rolled her eyes. She finished her sandwich, leaving the room without a goodbye. She made her way down the hall, knocking softly on a door, hearing F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s announcement of who was at the door. At the click of a lock, Natasha walked into the apartment.

“Hey, I brought you some lunch.” “Just a sec.”

Natasha walked into the kitchen, hearing you curse under your breath. She sighed, looking at the pile of banana peels at your elbow.

“Y/N…” “Hey, Nat.”

You scrambled to hide whatever was in your hands from her and Natasha narrowed her eyes.

“What are you doing?” “Nothing. Did you say something about lunch? I’m starving.” “It’s just a peanut butter sandwich.” “Ooh, my fave.”

You pushed your chair away from the table, turning your back to Natasha quickly so she wouldn’t see your hands.

“What are you trying to hide from me?”

You faltered at that, pausing a moment before walking to the sink.

“Nothing.” “Y/N—“ “Drop it. Please.”

Natasha sighed, setting the sandwich down and crossing her arms over her chest. She waited until you walked back to the table, staring you down until you sighed and sat in the chair.

“What’s going on with you?”

You put your head in your hands in lieu of answering her. Natasha shook her head.

“Come on. You’ve been avoiding the team ever since you got back from that mission with Bucky. Steve’s about ready to mandate therapy for you.” “Steve can’t do that.” “He’s the Captain. He can do what he wants.”

You snorted and Natasha sighed, sitting across from you.

“Come on, kid. Talk to me.” “It’s nothing. I’m fine. Can I have my sandwich now?”

You let your hands fall by your sides. Natasha stared at you, but you stared right back, and she eventually sighed and nodded. You slid the plate closer to you and took a bite out of the sandwich.

“So you’re the one that’s been stealing the bananas?” “I thought this was lunch, not an interrogation.” “The evidence is overwhelming.”

Natasha rolled her eyes at the way you spoke with your mouth full, then motioned to the banana peels at your elbow. You swallowed the bite you’d taken, lifting your shoulders.

“I’m really into smoothies?”

Natasha just cocked an eyebrow and you blew out a breath.

“I made banana bread last week.” “I know. Clint kept making perverse comments about how good it was.”

You smiled at that, looking down at the sandwich. You gently pushed the plate away, your sandwich with one bite missing staring back at you.

“Hey.” “I’m not doing anything illegal or unmentionable with the bananas.” “You know I don’t care about that.”

Natasha reached over and laid a hand on your wrist.

“I’m worried about you.”

Her eyes softened when you lifted tear-filled ones to her. You shook your head and she tightened her hold on you. You gave a shaky exhale and shook your head again.

“I’m sorry about the bananas. I’ll make my own grocery order or something.” “Honey, that’s not the point.”

You tugged your hand away from her, wiping your eyes.

“I, uh … I’ve really got to clean out my bathroom. It’s horrible. Can’t even remember the last time I mopped it.” “Talk to me.” “I’m just busy, Nat. I'm fine.” “You’re not—“ “Can you lock the door on your way out?”

Natasha sighed as you walked away, closing a door down the hall. She closed her eyes, hanging her head as she exhaled again. She picked up the sandwich you didn’t eat, biting into it herself as she left your apartment, locking the door behind her.

“No.” “Come on, Wanda. It’s for the greater good.”

Wanda raised one eyebrow as Sam tried to hide his smile. Natasha was unperturbed, taking one of Wanda’s hands.

“Something is going on with her. She hasn’t been to movie night or game night or even dinner in two weeks. Almost three! You know how she is.”

Sam tilted his head.

“You know that last mission took a toll on her.” “I know it did, but she usually bounces back quicker than this.”

Wanda laid her other hand on top of Natasha’s.

“You didn’t see what we saw when we picked them up, Nat. She just needs time to process this.” “It’s been two weeks. This is past ‘processing time.’ This is mentally fucked up time now.”

Wanda looked to Sam, who stared back at her, a silent conversation passing between them. Wanda sighed, turning back to Natasha.

“I don’t like this.” “Let the record state she doesn’t like this.”

Sam rolled his eyes, but smiled. Wanda sighed again, standing up and brushing off the dress she was wearing before making her way down the hall. She stopped outside your room, putting her ear to the door, closing her eyes as they began to glow red.

“And pull slowly … there. Perfect.”

Wanda turned her head slightly as she listened to your thoughts.

You can’t even see it! That’s a surgeon’s precision there. “Excellent work, Agent. Do you want to try the chicken now?”

Wanda blinked her eyes open when she heard the second voice. It sounded different, further away, and she thought the voice had to be coming through your phone or computer.

“Ew, it’s slimy.” “You knew it would be. Remember how we talked about it?” “Right. It’s more like normal skin, and with an injury, slime is a possibility.”

Wanda heard a tinny laugh, and she closed her eyes again as your voice went silent, save for the one in your head.

Take a breath. You need this practice. You have to do this right. Next time could be life and death.

Wanda’s brows furrowed as she laid a hand on the door.

In and out. In and out. Don’t forget to breathe. In and out. “Very good. Go just a bit deeper … that’s it. Perfect.”

Wanda’s red eyes opened when the soft sound of your thoughts echoed in her mind.

I need to figure out how to make this bloody. It’s slippery enough as it is, but the blood adds an extra obstacle. Remember how Bucky’s blood soaked the needle and thread? “Agent, clear your mind. Keep your focus on the task at hand. That last stitch slipped.” “Sorry.” “It’s still very good.”

Wanda turned the doorknob, silently making her way into your apartment, stopping at the entry to your kitchen. You were sitting at the table with your back to her, your laptop on the table, along with a small pile of bananas and a raw chicken breast.

“What are you doing?”

You jumped, quickly turning in your chair.

“Wanda? What the hell are you doing? How did you get in here?” “Agent, I think this will end our session today. Very good work.”

You turned back as the video call ended with a chime, and you blew out a breath as you hung your head. Wanda stepped further into the kitchen, eyes scanning the room.

“What are you doing in here? Why do you have so many bananas?” “Wanda, you need to go.”

Wanda’s eyes started glowing as you tried to hide the contents on the table from her.

Shit. God, she can’t know. Nobody can know. They won’t understand.

“What won’t we understand?”

You whirled around, eyes full of hurt.

“Are you in my head?”

Wanda blinked, her eyes cooling back to their normal color. You gave an almost silent laugh.

“You were. You were listening. You promised you’d never do that.” “Everyone is worried about you. You won’t leave this apartment. Ever since your mission with Bucky, you’ve closed off.”

You couldn’t help but flinch when she mentioned Bucky and that disastrous mission. Wanda’s eyes softened as she took a step closer.

“This has something to do with that, doesn’t it?” “Can you just mind your own business?” “Not when you’re hurting this badly and won’t let any of us help. We know what you’re going through.”

You whirled to face her, eyes wide.

“How?! How could any of you know what I’m feeling? You weren’t there. You didn’t have his blood all over your hands, all over your dress. You didn’t stand in the shower and watch his blood flow down the drain. You didn’t do everything you could to help him and it wasn’t enough.”

Wanda’s eyes filled with tears as yours did.

“You didn’t watch him almost bleed out. You didn’t have to push a needle through his skin to try to hold him together.” “Oh, honey.”

You shook your head, stepping away from her. You went to the sink and turned the water on, pumping soap into your hands and rubbing them together. Wanda lifted a hand to her lips as she watched you, tears sliding down your face and dripping into the sink. When she noticed the steam from the water, she rushed over and turned the water off, turning the cool side on and gently moving your hands under the water.

You gripped the edges of the sink as Wanda turned the water off. She took your hands in hers, drying them off gently.

“You don’t have to carry this by yourself.”

You lifted your head, tear-filled eyes meeting hers. She gave you a sad smile, pulling you into a hug. You put your face in her shoulder and let her hold you, not seeing her eyes start to glow red, but feeling your own eyes grow heavier and heavier until you couldn’t help but close them. Your knees slowly buckled and Wanda helped you, going with you until you were laid out and sleeping peacefully on the floor.

Wanda sighed, going to your door and opening it, whistling softly. Sam and Natasha popped their heads around the corner as Wanda raised an eyebrow, then motioned for them to come. Natasha’s eyes narrowed as she looked around the kitchen, widening when she saw the bananas and the chicken, the needle and thread.

“Oh my god.” “Sam, can you…?”

He nodded, gently brushing past Natasha as he walked to you, kneeling and lifting your sleeping body into his arms. You curled against his chest and he closed his eyes before carrying you down the hall and into your bedroom.

Natasha met Wanda’s eyes and Wanda crossed her arms over her stomach.

“She had a doctor on the computer who was talking her through stitches.” “That’s why she kept stealing the bananas.”

Wanda raised an eyebrow and Natasha walked over, picking up a pristine yellow banana.

“If you do it correctly…”

She unpeeled the banana and Wanda’s eyebrows raised at the neat black stitches on the peel.

“You can’t even tell it was peeled.” “She’s out. What’s going on with the prep line in here?”

Natasha showed Sam the stitches in the banana peel and he closed his eyes before crossing his arms over his chest.

“Shit.”

Natasha and Wanda nodded. After a moment of silence, Wanda spoke.

“Now comes the hard part. Do we tell Bucky?”

You woke up with a headache, feeling quite hungover even though you hadn’t drank a drop of alcohol. You sat up in the bed, putting your head in your hands.

No matter how hard you’d tried, you just couldn’t stop thinking about Bucky and the last mission the two of you went on. You couldn’t get the sight of his pale face out of your head, the way the blood wouldn’t stop, soaking through the bandages you’d tried to put on him. You felt like Lady Macbeth because in your dreams, you couldn’t get his blood off of your hands, no matter how hard you scrubbed.

You crawled out of bed and went into the bathroom, trying and failing to avoid your reflection in the mirror. There were dark circles under your eyes, and your complexion was dull. You hadn’t left your apartment in a few weeks, hadn’t even gone outside. You were too preoccupied with the bananas and the stitching.

You sighed and pulled your unwashed hair into a bun on top of your head, leaving the bathroom and coming to a hard stop when you saw the man sitting on your couch. Bucky lifted his eyes to yours, metal hand still as Alpine sniffed all over it.

“Long time no see.”

You nodded.

“I’ve been busy.” “You’re the one that’s been stealing all the bananas.”

You shook your head.

“I mean, yeah at first, but I’ve done my own grocery order for a while.” “Why?”

You lifted a hand to scratch at your neck.

“No reason.” “Babe, we’ve got to work on your tells.”

You felt your cheeks heat up, dropping your hand and looking down at the floor.

“Tell me why you needed so many bananas, Y/N.” “I went on a banana diet.” “Stop going up on your toes. That's another tell.”

You went to your flat feet, eyes cast down. You heard Alpine’s annoyed mrow as Bucky stood up and when he took a step towards you, you took a step back. He took a step back and you lifted your eyes to his. He held up his hands, sitting back down on the couch. Alpine moved to sit in his metal palm and he smiled. He brought his eyes back to you, seeing you staring at the floor still.

“Cupcake, look at me.”

You did as he asked, and his voice was gentle when he spoke.

“Why did you steal all the bananas?” “Why are you so obsessed with bananas? Did they not have them back in the old days?” “Quit deflecting and answering my question with a question. Tell me the truth.” “It doesn’t matter.” “To me, it does.”

You looked away from him as tears welled up in your eyes. Bucky sighed, dragging a hand down his face.

“If you’re not going to tell me the truth, let me tell you what I think, alright? I think you stole the bananas to practice stitching them up. Because if you do it right, you can’t even tell the banana’s been peeled.”

You looked down at the floor, Alpine sitting up and jumping down from the couch beside Bucky to walk to you. She gave a curious meow when a tear fell from your eyes and landed on her nose.

“You’ve been practicing stitching until you’re damn near perfect at it.” “I’m not perfect at it.” “Yet another lie.”

You lifted your eyes to his, shaking your head.

“You don’t understand.” “Enlighten me.”

You didn’t notice your hands were shaking as you spoke, the tears also falling unnoticed.

“You were dying. You were dying and I was trying to hold you together. I was holding the stupid bandages against the holes in your side and you were dying. I can still smell it, Bucky. The whole room smelled like copper and I couldn’t make it go away.”

You moved your shaking hands to press them against your stomach, and Bucky’s heart lurched when he realized you were pressing on your body the places where he was stabbed. He stood up and you backed away again, the tears coming harder.

“I kept begging you to stay with me and you kept trying to fucking die. I had to hold your skin and literally stitch you back together with a needle and thread. I’ve never sewn anything in my life and the first thing I ever sewed was you.”

Your back hit the wall and Bucky stopped inches from you. You shook your head, unable to do anything but sob. Bucky took hold of one of your hands, ignoring Alpine’s warning meow and hiss, pressing your palm against his chest. You tried to pull your hand from his grasp, but he had an iron hold on it.

“Breathe.”

You did, shaking your head as you sobbed. Bucky flattened your palm against the center of his chest and spoke again.

“Feel that?”

You shook your head, and he squeezed your wrist for a split second, urging you again.

“Do you feel that?”

You took in a ragged breath, feeling the steady thump of his heart under your palm. You met his icy blue eyes and he raised his eyebrows in question. You nodded, and he adjusted his grip so that both his hands were holding your wrist, holding your palm to the center of his chest.

“You saved me. My heart is still beating because of you.” “There was so much blood.” “But you stopped it.”

You shook your head.

“I didn’t do enough.” “Not enough? You saved my life, cupcake.”

You shook your head again.

“I should have known what to do beforehand—“ “What, because you knew I’d get stabbed?”

Your eyes met his and he shook his head.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. You did what needed to be done and I’m still here because of it. Because of you.”

Your knees buckled as your hand fell from his chest, but Bucky gathered you in his arms before you hit the floor. You clung to him, arms holding him tightly as you cried into his chest. He held you, flesh hand gently rubbing your back, shushing you softly, but letting you cry.

He shifted and lifted you into his arms, and you put your face in his shoulder as he carried you down the hall. You felt yourself be lowered to your bed, but you stayed clinging to Bucky until he lay down with you.

“I got you. Shh. I’m here.”

You kept holding onto him, staying close when he rolled onto his back. You kept your head on his shoulder and an arm around his stomach, one of his arms steady around you and holding you close. You slid your hand up to the middle of his chest, closing your eyes when you felt his strong heartbeat under your palm.

Bucky woke with a start, eyes opening to find white fur filling his vision. Alpine tilted her head as Bucky met her blue eyes, and he glanced towards the door when he heard your voice.

“She’s not the best about sleeping in. I tried to tell her to leave you alone, but… I think she has selective hearing.” “Wonder where she gets that from.”

You rolled your eyes, pressing your towel to your wet hair. Bucky sat up in the bed after sliding Alpine off his chest, smiling at her irritated chirp. He swung his legs over the side of the bed, shifting to where he could look at you. You moved the towel off your head to hold it in your hands, speaking more to it than to Bucky.

“Thank you for staying with me last night.” “You needed a friend. I didn’t mind.”

You slowly nodded.

“So we’re friends now?”

Bucky softly smiled as he looked down at his hands, clenching his metal one into a fist, then releasing it.

“Do you think we are?”

You sighed.

“I thought you hated me.” “I never hated you.” “You’ve got a weird way of showing that.”

Bucky nodded.

“You want to know the truth?” “It’d be nice.”

Bucky smiled as he looked over at you.

“You’re good. And smart, but you listen to your heart more than your head. You’re so much like Steve, and I knew if I didn’t rein you in somehow, you’d sacrifice yourself into the ocean just like he did.” “And that morphed into you hating me … how?” “I never hated you.”

Bucky blew out a breath.

“It was just easier to fire up that brother/sister relationship with you. And then you gave as good as you got and it was easier to make you think I hated you than to really—“

Your breath caught in your throat when he cut himself off. He shook his head, standing up and heading for the bedroom door.

“Really what?” “You want coffee?” “I want you to finish what you started.”

He grabbed onto the door frame, looking back over his shoulder at you.

“You really don’t know where that sentence was going?”

You swallowed and shook your head, and he blew out another breath.

“C’mon, cupcake. There’s no way you can’t know.”

You did. At least, you thought you did. All those times you caught him looking at you with that soft smile, the way he tried to cover it by rolling his eyes and looking away. The gentle touches when you were hurt, the way he always seemed to be the one to volunteer to go on missions with you.

The way your heart pounded when you realized he was hurt.

The fear in your chest you thought would consume you when you couldn’t get the bleeding to stop.

The begging you did for him to just stay with me, don’t leave me.

“Cupcake?”

You met his eyes with tears welled up in yours. He stepped away from the door and walked to you, shaking his head.

“What did I say? I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

You shook your head, laying your hands on his chest.

“You didn’t. I just … I haven’t cried this much in a long time.” “I think you’re sort of emotionally constipated and it’s all coming out now.”

You laughed as you shoved him away. He stumbled back, a blinding smile on his lips. You shook your head.

“You’re the worst.” “You know you love it.”

You crossed your arms over your chest and looked at the floor and Bucky gave a quiet sigh. He turned away and when he was at the door again, you spoke.

“I didn’t realize. I mean … I kind of did. But you always acted like you hated me, so I pushed it down and tried to convince myself that I …”

He kept one hand on the door frame, turning his head towards you, keeping his eyes away from you.

“That what?” “That it wasn’t attraction I felt towards you. Then I tried to convince myself that you were like a brother to me and that hurt more. So I just locked it down and like you said, gave as good as I got.”

Bucky fully turned to face you and you swallowed again.

“Everything was fine until you got hurt. Faced with the prospect of losing you … I lost it. I tried so hard not to let it show, but I … Bucky, I was so scared. You were so pale and there was so much blood and no matter what I did, I couldn’t stop it.” “You did stop it.” “I thought I was too late. I just prayed that you would wake up and I went and showered with my dress on. Watched the blood go down the drain.”

You sucked in a breath when you saw him in front of you. You’d been staring at the floor, lost in your own mind. Bucky reached up and brushed a strand of hair away from your face.

“You can’t hold onto that anymore. It’s over. It’s done. No matter what happened in that hotel room, I’m here and I’m fine.” “I can’t stop seeing it. Every time I close my eyes, I see my hands covered in your blood. After I stitched you up, I went into the bathroom and I swear I looked like Carrie after the prom.”

His eyebrows furrowed and you shook your head, waving him off.

“I can’t just let it go, Buck.” “Then give it to me.”

You looked up and met his eyes, the icy blue earnest as he stared into your eyes.

“Let me carry it for you.”

You started to shake your head and he took hold of your hands.

“If not me, then someone else. We’ll find you someone to talk to, who can help you through this.”

You held tightly to his hands and he leaned forward, resting his forehead against yours. You sucked in a breath, letting it out slowly as you closed your eyes. Bucky lifted his head to press his lips against your forehead, and you stepped forward, putting your face in his chest. He smiled as he wrapped his arms around you and you turned your head to where his heartbeat was directly under your ear. You kept your eyes closed as a Bucky started to gently sway.

“Does this mean you’ll go on a date with me?” “Have you asked me to go on a date with you?” “I thought it was this unspoken thing.”

You shook your head, leaning back and staring up at him.

“You’re old, and your mind must be going.” “I’ll show you—“

You shut him up by going on your toes and pressing your lips to his. Bucky’s shocked inhale sounded a second before his hands tugged you closer, and you threw your arms around his neck. When you broke apart, both of you silently panting for air, Bucky gave a quiet laugh.

“Took you long enough.”

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