a/n: i have been wanting to write a bucky x reader fic to this song (burn x traitor). it is a song fic so bare with me as the lyrics will be both in bold and italic.
angst with no happy ending
cw: language, mentions of partner cheating, slight mentions of sex, implications of sex
word count: 2.1k
i saved every letter you wrote me
from the moment i read them
i knew you were mine
Walking into the compound, drenching wet. You had not expected it to be raining when you left so you didn’t take an umbrella. You walked over to the front desk, smiling at the secretary.
“Hey Liz.” you said.
She looked up at you and laughed softly, “Hey y/n. Rain take you by surprise?”
“Oh god you have no idea. I was just walking to that one cafe spot I told you about and the rain just started and i-”
The words got stuck in your throat as you saw Bucky walk by.
you said you were mine
i thought you were mine
Clearing your throat you continued, “- well, long story short everything I’m wearing is absolutely drenched.”
Liz let out a small laugh, letting you into the building. Waving her goodbye you walked towards the elevator. You saw the puddles surrounding you and you griminced. Sorry Tony. Once the elevator dinged you looked up and walked into the Avengers compound. Seeing that no one was in the common room you let out a sigh of relief.
do you know what angelica said
when we saw your first letter arrive?
“be careful with that one love,
he will do what it takes to survive.”
You stepped off the elevator and started to walk towards your room. You passed by Bucky’s room and you stopped in your tracks. You stared at the door for a while before shaking your head and continuing towards your room. Once you arrived, you took off your shoes and placed them next to the door. Stepping onto the floor, you felt how wet your socks were. Gross. You took those off as well before walking into your bathroom, you turned on the shower and started to undress.
As you showered you thought back towards your relationship with Bucky. When you realized what was happening you snapped out of your thoughts and let out an annoyed sigh.
“Mr. Stark would like to let you know that today is the team's dinner.” spoke Friday.
“Thank you Friday.”
Finishing your shower you got dressed and walked back into the common room. As you walked you bumped into Bucky. Mumbling out a small sorry, you hurried. Walking in, you made note of where everyone was sitting. You made sure to sit at the corner next to Natasha. You grabbed some food and started to eat. Joining in some conversion here and there. Your heart dropped when you heard what Sam said.
“So Buck, who was that girl who left your room earlier?”
You looked up from your plate and looked at Bucky. His eyes finding yours.
brown guilty eyes and little white lies
yeah i played dumb but i always knew
“Just a hookup.” he replied with a shrug.
that you talked to her, maybe did even worse
i kept quite so i could keep you
You looked away and tried blinking the tears away. Shaking your head you got up and walked towards the fridge getting out orange juice before reaching for a cup. You filled your cup and stared at it, hearing the conversions before walking back to your seat. Eating your food, you tooned the team out and stayed quite the rest of the dinner.
and ain’t it funny
how you ran to her
the second that we called it quits
As dinner finished, you walked back to your room with a lame excuse that you were tired. You didn’t bother to turn the light on as you walked in and laid down in your bed. Your mind raced to how the day after the two of you ended it he had someone over.
You were just passing by and you heard the moans coming from his door. Your breath stopped and you swore that you could feel your heart breaking even more. Tears stung at your eyes and you heard Steve calling your name. You quickly wiped your eyes and he gave you a soft smile.
“Did that-” he pointed to Bucky’s room, “wake you as well?”
You decided to nod, not trusting your voice. Steve hummed and walked with you to eat breakfast.
and ain’t it funny
how you said you were friends
now you sure as hell don’t look like it
you’d talk to her
when we were together
loved you at your worst but that didn’t matter
As the two of you were walking, both of you saw the girl walking by. You frowned seeing that it was the worker that always flirted with him. You let out a scoff and went back to your breakfast, not wanting to let yourself get sad you decided to just get mad. Two minutes later, Bucky walked in. The two of you stared at each other before you got up and walked to the training room.
Sighing you curled up and turned to your side. Letting the tears fall.
it took you two weeks
to go off and date her
“Guess you didn’t cheat,” you said to the air, “but you’re still a traitor.”
You let yourself cry yourself to sleep.
you published the letters she wrote you
you told the whole world how you brought this girl into our bed
now you bring her around
just to shut me down
You woke up with puffy eyes and a stuffy nose. You were tempted to tell Friday to let the team know you were sick. You could easily play it off with saying that you were walking around with wet, cold clothes. You needed a day where you wouldn’t see Bucky.
“Hey Friday?” you spoke.
You cringed at the sound of your voice.
“Yes y/n?” she replied.
“Will you let the team know that I feel sick and won’t be coming into training today?”
You laid there for another ten minutes before walking to brush your teeth. As you stared into the mirror you cringed once more, your eyes were red and the surrounding areas as well. Spitting out the toothpaste you finished brushing your teeth and decided to walk to the kitchen. Stepping out of your room you came face to face with a lip swollen Bucky and lip swollen worker. You felt your heart drop and you walked past both of them and continued to walk towards the kitchen. Once your back was turned away from them you let the tears drop and you laughed.
show her off like shes a new trophy
and i know if you were true
Not long after Bucky walked into the kitchen. You were eating cereal and looked at him as he stood in front of you.
“Sick?” he asked.
“What. I can’t get sick any more James?” you replied.
Bucky let out a mad sigh, “You’re avoiding me.”
“Yeah and by god I have my reasons too.”
You got up and placed your plate in the sink before turning away.
You continued to walk away and he grabbed you by your wrist.
“One, give me one reason.”
“I don't have to tell you anything James,” you were annoyed. “Let go of me.”
“Fine! There is no way you could fall in love with someone that quickly! Now let me go!”
You pulled your wrist away and walked away from him, leaving him stunned at your words.
ain't it funny
all the twisted games?
all the questions you used to avoid
You heard the door open and you put your book down. Happy that Bucky was finally home.
“Hi.” you whispered.
He let out a hum in response before undressing himself.
“Where were you love?” you asked.
“Doesn't matter.” he replied before laying down.
ain’t it funny?
remember i brought her up
and you told me I was paranoid
As the two of you left the building you leaned towards Bucky. Holding his hand.
“I don’t like her.” you told him.
He looked down at you.
“Doll, she’s just being friendly,” he replied.
“Mmm no. That’s not friendly. That's ‘I want to get in your pants’ friendly.”
Bucky chuckled before kissing your forehead, “you’re just being paranoid. Now come on, theres this cafe I think you’d like.”
and you are paranoid in every paragraph
how they perceive you
you, you, you
i'm erasing myself from the narrative
let future historians wonder how Eliza reacted when you broke her heart
you have torn it all apart, i'm watching it
You hummed softly as you picked up your book to read it. You let Friday know to tell the team you wanted to be alone. You let yourself feel the book and get caught up in it.
“y/n,” spoke Friday, “Captain Rogers wants you to come down to eat dinner.”
You frowned, thinking. You really didn’t want to look at Bucky.
“He is approaching your room as well y/n.”
You groaned as you heard a knock and Steve’s voice.
“y/n,” he said. “Sam cooked your favorite.”
“Fine, let me get up.” you replied.
you'd talk to her
when we were together
loved you at your worst
but that didn't matter
You closed the door to your room as you walked with Steve to the kitchen. He let you know that it was an impromptu team dinner, at that you frowned, and that you would be sitting next to him because everyone was already sitting next to someone else. You hummed, acknowledging that you heard him. As you sat down next to him and Sam handed you your plate, you smiled. You were talking with the team and laughing at the jokes. You didn’t even look at Bucky or turned towards him.
At the end of dinner, you helped Sam clean up. The team was watching another movie and you hummed softly to a song stuck in your head. You didn’t notice Bucky walking in. Once the two of you finished, you turned and jumped once you saw Bucky. Sam made a joke and you laughed before walking past him. You sat down on the floor next to Sam.
it took you two weeks
to go off and date her
guess you didn't cheat
but you're still a traitor
You weren’t sure what happened. All you knew was that Bucky was mad. He had told you something, telling you to mind your business and you snapped. This caused you to yell at him and for him to yell back.
“Oh fuck off James!” you yelled.
“Gladly!” he replied, “but not until you no longer butt in!”
You laughed, you were mad. You were standing, you weren’t sure when that happened.
“You keep making my girlfriend uncomfortable!”
Your heart dropped, “girlfriend?”
He nodded, “yeah. My girlfriend.”
You shook your head, you were laughing. You felt the tears in your eyes and were certain that the team could see it. Bucky continued to speak but all you could do is remember what happened with the two of you.
“So you can announce to the team you’re dating.. Her,” you interrupted. “But wanted to keep.. us a secret?”
“No, I get it James. I want good enough for you.”
“y/n no that isnt-”
You felt the tears fall, “was that it?”
You looked at him. He froze.
“God I wish that you had thought this through, before I went and fell in love with you!”
The team looked at you, you didn’t like that you were the center of attention but you were pissed.
“When she's sleeping in the bed we'd made, don't you dare forget about the way, you betrayed me.”
“y/n.. please I’m sorry. I didn’t know you felt like that. God doll.. I’m so sorry.” he spoke walking towards you.
“You forfeit all rights to my heart!” you shouted.
Bucky stopped in his steps and pressed his lips together.
you forfeit the place in our bed
you’ll sleep in your office instead
“But you’re still.. you’re still a traitor.”
with only the memories of when you were mine
(yeah, you’re still a traitor)
The tears kept falling down your face, chest heaving. You closed your eyes, shutting them tight. Trying to call yourself down. When you opened them again, you saw Bucky’s face pained.
“I hope that you.. burn.” you said before leaving the common room.
Bucky stayed frozen, realizing he had lost you forever.
god i wish that you had thought this through
He watched you disappear to your room and turned back to the team, shaking his head. He waited till he heard your door close and walked to his. He lost you, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to get you back.
before i went and fell in love with you.
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After the events of Infinity War, the team get back together to figure out what to do, but though they agreed to put their differences aside for now, tensions are still running high. Everyone is dealing with the aftermath of the Snap, and Tony is taking the loss of his Kid especially hard. Through watching pictures and videos of Tony's life without them, the Avengers will come to realise what everyone else already knew. That Tony will do everything possible to get back His kid. His Universe.
This fic is probably one of my favorite Endgame fix-its and it’s not nearly as angsty as it sounds. It was written before Endgame came out but it’s pretty accurate considering, it does have the souls stone realm thing but that’s one of my favorite tropes anyways, it also has Peter befriending all of the snap and features Peter calling Tony dad and Rhodey is Uncle Rhodey. I’d recommend this fic if you like fix-it, everyone falling in love with Peter because it’s impossible not to, soul realm, Irondad, Peter being super smart and super powerful, or everyone being super overprotective of Peter fics.
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Watch Me Run - Part 16
Summary: You inherit a family relic that gives you the gift of foresight but there are others who are interested for more nefarious reasons. You turn to the Avengers for help. (Bucky x reader)
Chapter: You and Bucky pass the time together while the other Avengers try to get more information about the purpose of Loki's unexpected return to Earth.
Word Count: 3663
“So why do I need to talk to Gandalf if they’ve got Loki in custody?” You asked, far too casually, eyes resolutely fixed on your hands. It was a system you had of avoiding difficult conversations: burying them amid distractions and jokes. Just now you were deciding what to discard and whether Bucky was good enough at math to be counting cards. He probably was. Handsome, clever bastard.
Bucky sighed out a surge of frustration. With the conversation or the cards, you’d never have to know and that was the beauty of your system.
“Tony said they’ve got him locked down but he’s… difficult. Deceptive with a history of escaping,” Bucky explained, trying to be honest and not frightening. Not his strong suit. “Not just from Avengers’ custody. From Asgard, too. Natasha’s had success interrogating him once before, though.”
“Of course,” you chuckled. “She’s terrifying. I’d tell her everything.”
“We’re waiting for Strange’s parcel and they’re trying to figure out Loki’s end game and a way to contain him. Maybe contact his brother, I don’t know.”
“Thor. Who he escaped from before,” you surmised. Bucky shrugged. “So will I ever be safe?”
“I know this is hard,” he looked down at your hands,, wanted to hold them,, pull you to his chest and whisper comfort against your skin. Instead he lowered his voice, a whisper like a blade on ice. “But I’ll keep you safe. You’re my mission.”
“Right. I know that,” you shook your head, wishing you could shake the disappointment of being relegated to a mission objective when you’d begun to feel drawn by something stronger. And thus your method of jokes and distraction resurfaced. “We’re safe until there is a gin rummy murder tonight, because I’m 86.2% sure you’re cheating over there, Barnes.”
Bucky watched you over the top of his cards, grey eyes as guarded as the steel hull of a warship. It took a long time and your unyielding grin to soften the walls. The man was Fort Knox, after all, and it had been a mistake to challenge him. Even to save your dignity.
He wasn’t a spy, he was an assassin, and a good one. His training had taught him to take in every advantage, every opportunity, to read people, and predict. Bucky had always been good at cards. The math came easy to him. But now that he was himself and the soldier? He rarely lost a hand.
The softest chuckle rose through him like a flutter of hummingbird wings. It accompanied his easy grin that steadily grew as you fiddled with your cards from across the table. “Don’t need to cheat,” he said while you kept chewing on the edge of your thumbnail before picking at one of the cards. It was a tell – your tell – and Bucky had picked up on it by the second hand. You hadn’t won a game since.
Your eyes kept flicking up to his. He found a smile there most days now, even amid all the danger. Even in the uncertainty he found something bright and warm with you. It licked a flame up his spine every time. Sometimes he let himself succumb to it, become drowsy and content in the warmth of your smiles. Other times he shook his head and looked at his feet, or in this case his cards, wondering how in the hell life had lead him here and if it would ever stop taking such strange turns.
“Would you discard, already?” he asked sounding irritated, but he was grinning widely, eyes dancing over your face.
“Don’t rush me!” you scolded, finally drawing the same card you’d been fiddling with for the last two minutes.
He huffed, but somewhere along the way it had lost all its power. The sound, once again, rippled out of him like an airy chuckle and the grin grew wider.
He thought you must really be enjoying this because your motion to drop the card was excruciatingly slow. The ace taunted him now, one long drawn out invitation for trouble. As were you.
Finally, he’d had enough and snatched the card from your fingers.
“Hey!” you yelped.
“Gin,” he replied with a smug little lift of his eyebrow.
He laid his cards on the table and then reached for the Twinkie beside the deck.
“Not fair! What if I changed my mind on that discard! You cheated!”
“Come on,” he laughed you off, leaning back into the couch and fighting with the plastic wrap on the golden yellow snack. “You were just being a pain in the ass. As usual. And you lost. As usual.”
“You’re not a very gracious winner.”
He shrugged, simultaneously darting an eyebrow before taking a monstrously large bite of the Twinkie. “’Least I’m a winner,” he mumbled through his mouthful, smiling wide as he chewed. His eyes danced over the grin on your face and the fire in your eyes. He loved all the shads of you. Cool morning tired, bright afternoon mischief, night ablaze, heated as a hearth.
“You know what?” You rose to your feet and lunged over Bucky and the arm of the couch in one sweeping push, all fire and wrath and joy. “Assholes don’t deserve Twinkies!”
His laughter came easily this time, unreserved and full while you flailed across him unflinching in your quest for the last bite of gas station garbage food. These were the times, Bucky knew, that he was in the most danger. When he forgot to worry and forgot the mask of soldier and Avenger, when everything seemed just a breath away from a happy ending. And therefore the most vulnerable. When he curled up to kindness and warmth.
But he couldn’t bring himself to fight it off. Somehow it had become second nature to wrap his arm over your back, to hook his fingers over your waist so you wouldn’t fall. Just as you hadn’t thought twice about leaping over and stealing from a notorious assassin, from your defender.
He hadn’t thought twice about this closeness, not until your clambering knee made a particularly harsh landing, sending him hunching forward, knees jerking up with a groan. Tangled in his arms, extended over the couch, and with his Twinkie in hand, you froze.
“Oh!! Sorry!” you cringed, “Are you okay?”
Bucky grimaced but laughed, as you released his arm and curled, sitting on your feet to wait for his answer with worried hands clapped over your mouth. In your concern, you hadn’t even noticed your legs were tangled half in his lap, leaning over, closer than you’d ever been, eyes dancing over his features, anxious for his answer.
You didn’t notice, but Bucky did.
“’M fine,” he breathed, tight as a bow, unceasingly aware of his arm still wrapped around you. The awareness was like an electric shock, like a livewire running straight across his body. His fingers twitched, momentarily, subconsciously tightening his grip on your waist. His toes danced quietly against the floor, taking all the energy of his racing heart while his brain shouted to keep the fuck still.
Everything was amplified. The warmth of your body, even through your t-shirt, felt like fire against his palm. The soft hush of denim sliding against denim, and the gulp that had Bucky’s throat tightening in anticipation blocked out all other sound.
“’Kay.” Your own voice was just as soft, just as breathless. Your hands fell from your face to his chest because, this close, there was nowhere else and nothing else but him. “That’s good.”
Bucky didn’t take his eyes off of yours, didn’t move a single muscle except to curl his arm between you and bring the last bite of Twinkie to his mouth. In a moment it was gone. He sat beneath your gaze, half glare half laughter, chewing, unblinking, still holding you, holding back both a laugh and the urge to kiss you.
Bucky did laugh then. He wondered if that word, jerk, would ever sound like an insult to him. His eyes were wide when you leaned forward, he could barely think enough to move when your lips met his. His heart thundered against his ribs when you pulled back slightly, looking, waiting for a reaction, for a sign that he wanted this as much as you did.
A fraction of a second was all it took. His arm, lazily curled around your back, turned to a fierce grip the second before he surged forward, taking a second kiss.
He moved with a slow, savoring sort of urgency. Like he was afraid this moment might slip through his fingers if he let go, like you might slip through his fingers.
You were gentle in return, all ease and warmth, sinking your whole body against his, taking comfort from the sure and solid unyielding strength of his body, his presence and attention.
Your open palms slid over his muscled chest, fingertips dancing up the sides of his neck, skin prickling against the light scruff of his jaw. He was all texture: rough edges and sharp lines, with something burning hot at the center that ignited a path right to the core of you.
When he pulled away, breath still tickling across your lips, you chuckled at the sweet smell of vanilla frosting. You’d never been in so much danger, and yet you never wanted to move.
“You sure you’ve got enough hands in there?” Tony asked. Orange safety glasses tipped down on his nose to meet Steve’s eye. Dancing brown met clear blue for only a moment. Distraction and urgency drove Tony back to the hum of the welding iron. A mistake. A minuscule smirk dashed across Steve’s lips, sharp and wicked. A ghost of the true figure glimmering beneath: Loki.
Tony had already turned back to his project. Sparks reflected like falling stars on his glasses. Molten steel burned orange, almost white, against the frame Tony crafted to house Loki’s sceptre. The ocean blue gem at its center called a vague threat to any who witnessed it.
“We’ve got it covered,” Steve answered with a tight, confident nod. “Your hands are full anyway.”
Natasha frowned slightly, barely a tweak at the corners of her mouth. Interrogating Loki seemed to her like an all-hands-on-deck initiative. But no one had asked her. As ever, she would have to keep her cards and her concerns close to the chest. So she leveled wary green eyes on one sauntering Asgardian prize.
Once inside the cold blank room, she took a firm stance at the door. If Loki was a coiling snake, prepared to bite, and if Steve was a boot waiting to drop, Natasha was the blade that would kill. Smooth, sharp lines, swift as an angry swallow, she moved into place and waited. She would make careful cuts at the scales until she found soft underbelly, and the meat of the monster.
Her wary green eyes followed as Steve spun a chair to face her. Loki slithered into it with nothing more to defend him than a smirk. It was plenty.
“Back for another dance, spider? ” he asked coolly.
She shrugged one shoulder, as if she were half-interested instead of wholly engaged in the careful coordinated step of this interrogation. “Worked before. I got what we needed.”
“Hmm. Too little too late, if I recall. The Hulk nearly killed you and a fleet of Shield agents.”
“And yet you’re the one in shackles. Again. No scepter and still no Tesseract.” Steve sat closer but allowed Natasha to guide the questioning.
“Only a matter of time.” The grin that had so far been taunting, like a cat playing with a dead mouse, now turned manic. His eyes glittered with knowledge and his teeth gleamed with avarice.
Natasha marked the change and its cause: time.
“Why do you want to take the stones?” Natasha cut to the chase.
The smirk dimmed from Loki’s face. It soured and twisted to a scowl. Disdain, fear, guilt, anger, each one flashed hot as liquid gold in his eyes. Natasha noted this, too.
“So no one else can,” he sneered.
“Like who? Us? SHIELD?”
“You,” Loki scoffed. “You are as children – weak, fragile, ignorant of what you possess. You play at war while Titans gather at your gate.”
“That’s not an answer.” Natasha’s eyes were narrow, observant.
Another smirk, knowing and smug. “It is an answer. And you prove me right by failing to recognize it. Release me and the stones, and your planet may be spared his madness. We all may be.”
“The Mad Titan.”
Steve turned to Natasha with a frown and a raised brow. A question. Her lips turned briefly and she gave a decided but minute shake of her head, no. She had no knowledge of this. She hated not knowing, hated surprises. She worked hard to know the whispers of the world. Missing something so big set her on edge.
Similarly, Loki’s frustration grew at the exchange, the ignorance. “You will die! All of you. You haven’t the slightest idea what you are dealing with and it nearly burst through your door years ago in New York!”
“You brought the Chitauri army to New York.” Natasha spoke calmly, but her eyes burned. “We closed the portal. We took your scepter and the Tesseract and you should be in a cell on Asgard. So who is it we should really be worried about here?”
“You still can’t see it,” he laughed, shaking his head at her. “You had all three in your hands and still, you have done nothing! Nothing on your primitive planet will stop him. Not you, Agent. Or your shield, Captain. Not your iron suits or your magician’s cheap tricks. Your world is woefully unprepared to defend the power it holds.”
Steve rose to his feet. “You have no idea what we’re prepared to do to protect th—“
“You cannot even properly wield the stones, much less protect them from what’s coming.”
“What is coming?” Nat asked, calm again, arms crossed, sharp edges, slicing at the armor.
“Decimation.” His eyes locked on hers, unflinching and sure. There was something like a threat to his voice, more akin to a promise but laden with fear. “On a scale you cannot fathom.”
“With a snap of his fingers.”
Natasha’s eyes narrowed on him. More riddles. If his word could be trusted, he gave away much. She wondered, though, what he gained from them in this exchange. No conversation is one-sided. Not even an interrogation.
“Half the universe will cease to exist,” he explained. “Half of all life, gone from your planet, from Asgard, Jotunheim, Nowhere, every corner of the universe. And he’ll call himself a savior. He’ll destroy it all and demand thanks for it.”
“And what? You’re the only one who can stop him?”
A shallow sigh passed Loki's thin lips. He sank back into the seat, and chewed his lip before raising his eyes to her again.
“Do you know, Thanos made a bargain with me before, when I last came to Midgard. He promised me dominion over whatever remained when the Decimation ends. I had just lost Asgard and he exploited my ambition for a throne of my own. I wanted to prove myself when I’d been set aside and cast from my home.” Dark strands swayed as he shook his head, a bitter set to his thin mouth. “My father made war and sacrifice. I am a prince raised by an enemy, a son of conquest and subjugation. I know sacrifice and I won’t cower before it. Thanos knew that. And he will remember it now, when I take the stones he seeks. So to answer your question, Alianovna: yes, I might be the only one capable of doing what must be done.”
Natasha scoffed, leaning back. Every once in a great while, her anger swelled stronger than reason, deeper than her training, and bigger than her pride.
“How are you any different?” She snapped. “How many have you killed to stop him? And how many more?”
He shook his head and that smile again played dark in his bright blue eyes. The kind of smile that made her spine prickle. Like a cat playing with a mouse.
Natasha rarely felt like anything but a predator; feeling like prey made her lash out.
“How many ranks of men will you sacrifice in the fight? How many armies, Captain?” he asked coolly, leaning back in the chair, before turning his attention back to Natasha. “You’re not so foolish as to think your hands clean. Not any of you… Avengers.” He spat the word like a vile poison. “I can stop Thanos because unlike you I can see that blood must spill and I won’t hesitate to do what must be done. There is not a single life on this planet I would not risk to keep those stones out of Thanos’ hands.”
“So that’s your plan?” Steve scowled. “Mow through as many people as you need to until somebody stops you?”
“Until I get what I came for,” Loki corrected. “What’s yours? I don’t think you have one. How will you keep one infinity stone safe? Three?” he scoffed.
Natasha shifted then. The question had plagued her since she walked out of the Kamar-Taj. Knowledge was power but it was also a burden.
She had stayed here too long. Rather than learning, she was giving away her own knowledge now. With every uncomfortable shift, every angrily hissed question, she told him what was most important to her, to the team. Having lost control of the interrogation, she turned to leave.
“It will burn her, you know,” Loki called and she froze, hand on the barely opened door. “It’s said that another stone nearly turned 5 Guardians together to ash. We both know she cannot claim such power alone and untrained. Your entire world is a powder keg and that woman is holding a lit match. Tell me where to find her. I only want the stone. I can keep this planet out of the fight.”
She paused for a long moment, eyes locked on the door handle. Morality and self-preservation ever at war within the abused, the powerful, the just.
“We don’t trade lives.”
Loki sighed. He had not hoped to reason with the Avengers. They were all heart. Thundering, bleeding, sympathetic heart. It would get them killed one day, he expected.
It nearly got Natasha killed this day.
As she pulled the door to leave, Steve stepped behind her. An inhumanly swift hand dove for the gun at her thigh, drew and cocked it in one clean motion. Of course, the focus it took Loki to move faster than the spy at the door meant he could no longer project the image of himself in the chair. The illusion vanished in a shimmer of green and gold. So too, did the illusion he’d been projecting over himself of Captain America.
She spun, wide eyed and slammed the heel of her hand into his wrist, knocking the gun loose just as he dislodged the clip. As the gun went sailing, only one round remained in the chamber. Loki would rather not fire it. It would certainly ruin his game of stealth and accelerate his need of escape before he had gleaned all the information he’d come for.
Natasha rammed her elbow into his throat and he reeled back. She was on him in a moment, thrusting her knee to his chest. He stumbled to the floor while she reached for a tiny metal disk – a widow’s bite. But this time, he was faster.
He’d already conjured a thin black dagger and as she reached for the disk, he thrust the razor thin point through leather, skin and muscle, deep into her side. She gasped when he withdrew it quickly. A punctured a lung by the thin, hissing sound of it.
She tumbled sideways off of him. The silver disk, still in her fingers slammed onto his arm. It sent a ripple of electric agony through his spine, deep into spamming muscle. His entire body seized. A feral growl ripped up his throat, tearing, clawing, biting for control.
Finally he dragged his fingers to the disk as she reached the gun in the far corner of the room. Warm blood dripped off his skin where he tore the disk away. Not nearly as much as what gushed over the fingers she clutched to her side. She raised the gun, and he projected. Four copies of Steve Rogers split across the room, lunging for her. Her eyes danced, trying to pin down the correct one for her single shot.
She chose wrong. The correct mimicry of Steve, the only other corporeal body in the room had waited. He picked up the discarded firearm, now empty. And brought it down with unforgiving force against soft temple.
Loki brushed back a sweep of blonde hair, maintaining the projection. He allowed himself a scowl down at the crumpled form beside him.
He had learned much from this interview, though there was still work to be done here in enemy territory. Speed would be essential now. Two bodies in two rooms where he was meant to be... It wouldn’t be long before the others discovered his trickery.
Still it was worth it. He had learned the Avengers’ limits. They had confirmed they would not, in the end, have the force of will to prevent total Decimation. It was down to him. This, truly, was his purpose.
“I gave you Thanos’ secrets…” he breathed, still catching his breath as he drew to his feet and dragged open the door. “Time to reveal your own.”
He straightened his spine far beyond the lithe curve he usually took. Back to the complete vision of an American soldier.
A perfect mimicry of Steve Rogers strode out of the interrogation room. The door closed with a heavy leaden thud and the electronic whir-click of a lock.
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My fav trio poly stories are the angst ones where two of them start dating and one feels left out and feels like they'd be intruding
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Pansies, Pain, and Other Things about Bucky
Summary: You and Bucky are begrudgingly paired on a mission together. This is less than ideal considering neither of you are too keen on the other tagging along. All goes as normal until a surprise attack severely hurts both of you. Feeling incredibly guilty, Bucky helps you tend to your wounds. He has trouble admitting it, but he wants to make sure you’re safe.
Pairing: bucky barnes x avenger!reader (enemies to lovers)
Warnings: swearing, mentions of blood, slight descriptions of wounds, a lil angst, fluff, and hurt reader
Word Count: 2.7k words
“With Y/N’s little flower power bit and Bucky’s super serum, you two are perfect for the mission. Neither of you can get sick from whatever the hell is in that truck,” Sam rationalized to the two of you.
“First off, it’s not a ‘flower power bit’ it’s agrokinesis, and second I don’t think this is a two-person mission, Sam,” you countered. You tried to deliver your point as gently as possible without coming off as a total jerk. It wasn’t that there was anything necessarily wrong with Bucky, but there wasn’t anything right about him for sure. He never was much of a talker to begin with, but around you, he’s even more stoic than usual. He never looked you in the eye, and when he did, he’d quickly turn away, almost as if he were disgusted. You weren’t sure what you’d done to offend him, but you were past the point of trying to figure it out. You were content to keep your distance when possible.
“Y/N’s got a point, I work better alone,” he responded. “And she can still get hurt. I’ll be fine.”
“Is that a dig, Barnes?” you questioned, snapping your head to face Bucky now. “Listen, I know my little ‘flower power bit’ may seem silly to some of you guys, but it gets the job done. I’m going, that's final.”
“That’s not what I-” he trailed off, realizing there was no point in arguing with you. He genuinely looked like he felt bad for implying you weren’t strong enough, but he knew not to push it further.
There was tension in the room now. You hadn’t meant to come off so rudely, you were just tired of no one taking you seriously. Whether it was Thor only referring to you as the gardener as a joke or Tony teasing you about being a glorified cabbage patch kid, the jokes weren’t funny anymore.
Avoiding eye contact with Bucky, you apologized, “I’m sorry. I’m just stressed. We’ll both go.”
Without another word, it was decided Bucky and you would go on the mission. There was a truck by an organization called The Red Pipes that was carrying around cases of biological components that could poison an entire city’s water supply within an hour with only one case. Now there you were, riding on the back of Bucky’s motorcycle, hunting down that said truck. You weren’t used to being situated so close to the soldier, arms firmly wrapped around his midsection. His bike made a fast approach to the blue truck you had been trying to catch up to.
“If we get a little closer, maybe you can shoot out the tires,” he called to you, his normally quiet voice carrying over the traffic that surrounded you.
“I’ve got a better idea,” you shouted back, noticing the lush green that surrounded both sides of the highway. You unwrapped your right arm from Bucky and with a wave of your hand caused vines to shoot out of the ground and wrap around the tires. The truck quickly came to a halt in front of you. So quickly, in fact, Bucky wasn’t able to stop in time, and instead, he had to drive the motorcycle into the grassy patch beside you in an attempt to avoid slamming into the truck.
“Fuck,” he mumbled, “we could’ve hit the truck. A little heads up would be appreciated next time.”
Getting off the motorcycle and not even turning to look at him you replied, “A thanks would have sufficed.”
You both darted to the truck in front of you. Bucky went towards the front seat to subdue the vehicle’s driver while you worked at prying the back door open. With all your might, you tried getting some more vines to pry the door open, but it seemed almost glued shut. Damnit, damnit, damnit. He’s never going to drop this if you can’t open the door. You’re not some stupid flower girl, you’re an Avenger. Damnit, damnit, damnit.
“It was on autopilot,” Bucky said, making his way to the back of the truck. Without even thinking, he punched a hole through the metal door and pried an opening wide enough to stick his hand in and open it from the inside out. Upon entering you expected to be greeted with maybe some weird jars, maybe just one test tube, or even just some ominous shelves. None of that was there. Nothing much was in the truck really. Alone from a piece of paper that was taped to the middle of the floor.
You walked over cautiously to pick it up to inspect it further. It read the simple word ‘Gotcha’ in red letters. You’d been giving crappy information. This whole mission was a goose chase, there wasn’t anything in the truck of use. You’d been fooled. You handed Bucky the note to see for himself as you cursed under your breath.
“Y/N” Bucky spoke urgently all of a sudden, “we have to go.”
“There’s nothing to run from, we got played-”
He had already grabbed you and was heading out of the truck before you could finish your sentence. His grip was firm and sure around your waist, his metal arm digging into your sides from holding on so tightly. You both landed on the ground, Bucky on top of you, huddling himself over your body, your head buried in his chest as a loud boom went off only a few feet behind you. Before you knew it, you two had been pushed back by the blast, bodies barreling further down the highway. The whole time he had his grip firm on you, ensuring flying debris didn’t fly into your face. Once the rumbling had stopped, he rolled off of you, taking in labored breaths.
You shot up, your heart still racing from the recent sequence of events. Immediately you turned over to see Bucky, face caked in sweat and blood. That’s going to leave a mark. On instinct, your hand cups his face as you panickedly reassure him he’d be okay. He groggily sat up, wincing from just withstanding an explosion while simultaneously protecting you.
“Hey, hey, hey,” he spoke in a calmed voice, “I’m all right.” He could see the panic seeping into your face. His gaze quickly traveled down to your abdomen. His eyes widened as he saw a huge velvet red stain forming around your stomach. With adrenaline pumping through your body, you hadn’t noticed the huge gash that occupied where your skin should be. You could feel your face turn grey with fright. You had been on some pretty tough missions, but none of them had ever ended with a piece of glass lodged in your stomach. Oh, that’s definitely going to leave a mark.
You could feel the adrenaline wearing off as you lost control of your senses. First, there was a ringing in your ears that seemed to sound for miles. Bucky gingerly cradled you in his arms as he whispered over and over again It’s going to be okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Next, your vision went, every detail around you turning to a black abyss. The last thing you felt was Bucky pulling you closer to his chest, heart pounding.
After you lost consciousness, Bucky and you were taken to the hospital. Bucky had a few scratches and had broken his one flesh arm, but the super serum that ran through his veins made him fully heal within three days. You, on the other hand, had not been so lucky. Your powers had granted you the ability to avoid illnesses and diseases alike, but it didn’t grant the gift of super regeneration. Great. You were going to have to let this wound heal like everyone else; with time and sitting around doing a bunch of nothing.
It had been four days since the truck explosion, and you were finally allowed back into the comfort of your own bed at the compound. You hated the pitied glances you received going to the kitchen and you only had disdain for all small gestures of kindness. You never had been treated like a real adult, and now everyone was babying you even more. Well, this fucking sucks.
You had decided you would spend the day in your room as opposed to being met with sad eyes. Every Avenger gets hurt, that’s part of the job. What makes you so special? You had napped through most of the day and woke up to a slightly damp feeling around your waist. You got up to inspect the substance in the mirror and saw that the bandages had begun to become a little soaked. Nothing major, you just needed to change them. Reluctantly, you reached for the bandages on top of your cabinet and began to take your other ones off.
As you began your grueling task, you heard a gentle knock at your door.
“I’m not here,” you answered, not even looking up from your current task at hand.
“I just wanted to see how you’re doing,” Bucky spoke shyly from behind the door. A moment of silence passed. “Can I come in?”
You huffed. Walking over to the door, you swung it open to reveal a perfectly fine Bucky. He definitely didn’t look like he just survived a bomb. He looked great, even. A pang of jealousy ran through your body. It was silly, he was literally a superhuman of course he was alright. You were glad he was okay, really, you just hated how it made you look even weaker in comparison.
“Are you changing your bandages?” he questioned, indicating towards the bed where you had thrown them when you went to answer the door.
“Yeah and I’d like to-”
“Let me help you,” Bucky offered. This was probably the longest conversation the two of you had held. You expected the worried glances coming from everyone else, but not him. It was a nice change, just odd.
“I’m a big girl, I can change my own bandages,” you retorted, slightly wincing from standing for so long.
“I know you can,” he reassured. Sighing, you opened the door all the way for him to enter.
He entered your room and you daintily lifted your shirt up enough to expose the concealed area. His large hands began to gently unwrap the dampened cloth around your stomach. It was strange, you had expected his hands to be rougher from years of fighting, but they were soft. They worked with a certain rhythm to them, moving with purpose as he worked. Once your skin had been exposed, he went to your bathroom to retrieve a wet cloth to wipe away the dried blood.
“Tell me if I’m hurting you,” he spoke quietly, swallowing in nervousness. You had noted that he didn’t touch you with his metal arm.
“If it helps, you can place your metal arm on me for support. . . I don’t mind,” you suggested to your own surprise. This whole experience seemed surreal. He went from avoiding all interaction with you to now tending your wounds.
Nodding in agreement, he softly placed his metal hand on your side for more support as he worked. The coolness of his touch made you jump and he immediately pulled back and apologized profusely. In an attempt to reassure him, you placed his hand back and assured him it was only how cold his hand was that made you jump. It was sweet he seemed scared to hurt you accidentally, though.
Another couple more minutes of silence passed. You were content to watch him work steadily on your abdomen, but you wanted to seize the opportunity to talk to Bucky.
“Bucky, why are you always so quiet?”
“I don’t have anything important to say,” he answered simply.
“But you’re especially quiet around me,” you confessed, a trace of hurt in your voice.
He looked up to meet your eyes. He had a guilty look on his face, his eyebrows twisted into a sheepish expression.
“It’s- it’s silly. I’m sorry if I’ve seemed rude. It’s not you,” he blurted out, stumbling over his own words. He was still kneeling so he could finish wrapping your bandages, you standing over him. He’d never seemed so small.
“Then what is it?”
He couldn’t maintain eye contact. He returned to your wound as he made his confession, red rushing to his cheeks as he continued.
“Y/N, you have the ability to make life. Even without your power, life seems attracted to you. You make flowers rise up out of the concrete, you create happiness with your presence. . .” he paused, collecting his thoughts. “It’s amazing. It’s lovely. But I can’t do that. I destroy, I kill. Creation isn’t in my nature, and I don’t think it’ll ever be. I feel- I feel dirty around you. I feel like by just being near you I’m going to somehow corrupt you, hurt you. I don’t want to do that.”
You cupped your hands around his stubbled face and lifted his gaze to meet yours again. “Hey, you don’t have to worry about me. I can handle myself. You’d never hurt me, Bucky.”
He gave you a melancholic smile in return and resumed his work as he responded, “The only reason I didn’t want you to go on the mission was because I was scared I’d mess up and you’d get hurt. I don’t think you’re weak, I’m just worried about you always. . .I know you don’t need me, but I’m here. I promise.” He was finished. Fuck, Bucky likes me. I thought he hated me, but he’s just been avoiding me because he thinks he’s going to hurt me. Fuck.
He stood on his feet and you thanked him for his help. He had done a beautiful job patching you up, taking his time and making sure everything was done right. He was capable of destruction, but he was so much more than that.
He wished you goodnight with a sad smile and turned to go exit your room. Before he could take a step you took a hold of his wrist and professed, “Bucky, I need you. Okay? Don’t you ever forget that. I may not say it, but I do.”
You were both blushing as you stood there. You released your grip on his arm and began to conjure a flower between your fingers to give to Bucky. Within an instant, you had created a gorgeous yellow and purple flower to give to him.
“Have this as a thank you,” you smiled, placing it gently into his palm and closing his fingers around it.
“It's a wonderful. . .” He racked his brain for what kind of vegetation he had just received and drew a blank. He’d never tell you, but he had been trying to memorize flower names so he could compliment the ones you grew in the kitchen. He’d just never grown the courage to say anything to you.
“Pansy. It symbolizes love and admiration. It fits you well,” you explained. You had slowly been assigning what flowers fit each Avenger in your head. It wasn’t until this moment that you decided pansies would be the perfect ones for Bucky. Gentle and severely underappreciated.
“Thank you,” he replied, beaming shyly. He was smiling so hard it almost looked like his face would split in half. You had never seen this man so joyous. It was beyond endearing to see him light up at such a small gesture as a pansy.
Before you could stop yourself, you pulled Bucky into a kiss. He quickly picked up on the rhythm and you two indulged in the other for a minute. Pulling away you both giggled at yourselves.
“I should change your bandages more often,” he joked, moving a stray piece of your hair behind your ear. You gave him a quick peck on the lips and placed the pansy in his hair. He was great company to keep. He pulled back in for another kiss, this time both of you prepared for the impact. You could feel the butterflies crashing into the sides of your ribcage as he held you close.
That was the start of many more flower-ridden makeout sessions.
A/N: Here's another enemies to lovers that quickly turned to fluff! Thank you all so much for your support on my past few fics, it's really appreciated. I'm open to all constructive criticism and requests are open :)
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the flashback - natasha romanoff x maximoff!reader
word count; 1,134
warnings; a lot a lot a lot of angst lmao
a/n; for someone who hates reading angst, i sure do end up writing a lot .. i promise i’ll write some fluff soon! this piece is meant to be read with my upcoming wanda x reader one shot which i hope to be able to put out asap. feedback is always appreciated , hope y’all enjoy the pain :]
the five years during the blip was hard, with clint disappearing, tony “retiring” and steve still trying to be america’s beacon of hope- it fell on natasha’s shoulders to oversee everything. mornings were spent making breakfast alone, trying to make sure natasha would at least eat something before she started her day. afternoons were when you sat through meetings with her, working diligently alongside her. evenings were arguably the hardest, the two of you stuck in a constant push and pull of natasha wanting to keep working while you just pleaded with her to rest. it blew up in your faces one day, when you had snapped at her and the two of you ended up fighting.
“what do you want me to do y/n?! i’m trying to keep this together, i’m trying to keep what’s left of us together- why won’t you just let me be?” natasha voice broke off at the end, the work on her desk left abandoned as the two of you stood in the middle of the office, staring each other down. you let out a dry chuckle at her words.
“natasha, you’re my girlfriend for crying out loud. you, you are my everything, you are all i have left! so i’m sorry that while you’re busy trying to save the world i’m just trying make sure mine doesn’t crash and burn.” you spat out, aware of the tears burning in your eyes. when your parents had died, you followed pietro and wanda to wherever they went, to HYDRA and ultimately to the Avengers. losing pietro was painful, but the two of you made it through. the two of you always had each other’s back and you were forever thankful for vision being there for wanda when you couldn’t. on the contrary, wanda was a lot more protective over you, having been hesitant at first when natasha and you started becoming something more than friends. but, natasha had proved herself time and time again to wanda and the witch knew there was really no better person to love you than her.
wanda was your role model, your protector and your best friend. in the battle against thanos you had fought right by her side, casting your strongest barriers to prevent him from getting to wanda or vision- but it wasn’t enough. the sight of your older sister, the last of your family disappearing right in front of your eyes never left your subconscious. nightmares plagued you more often than you’d like, memories of how wanda’s body seemed to sag just a little in relief as she dusted away, or some nights, you would watch natasha dust away instead with screams ripping through your throat.
“watching you work yourself to near death, not caring about your own health, that scares me because i don’t know what i’ll do without you. you don’t eat unless i ask you to, you don’t rest unless i ask you to- fucking hell natasha i can’t even ask! i have to beg and plead with you to do the most basic things! i refuse to lose you, not when i’ve lost everything and everyone else!” you were shouting now, your voice having risen with the anger you had pent up over the last six months. taking a breath, you continued at a lower volume, “i know you’ve lost people too natasha, but right now, we’re all we have left. i don’t.. i won’t leave you so please, please don’t push me away.” your tears had finally started to fall, arms wrapping around yourself as your gaze left hers to focus on the ground below instead. you heard a soft sigh and when you heard the sound of footsteps you were so certain that natasha was either heading back to her desk or leaving the room. squeezing your eyes shut as you tried to hug yourself even tighter, you let out a small gasp when natasha’s arms pulled you against her, your arms automatically wrapping around her waist.
“i’m so sorry y/n.” natasha pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head, her hand moving to stroke your hair. while you stood there crying into her shoulder, she took the time to comb through her memories of the last six months. closing her eyes as her own wave of tears threatened to fall, she remembered how you always bugged her to eat, to rest and to take care of herself but whenever she seemed to forget, you were there to do it instead. you’ve cooked so many meals for the two of you, when was the last time she had made something for you? a dull ache bloomed in her chest when she realised how little she had been doing for you, for both of you really.
“i’m not mad at you,” you whispered quietly, as if you could read her thoughts. “i don’t mind doing all of this for you and i don’t expect you to do things in return either. i do what i do because i love you and while i can’t take away your pain, i want to at least make sure you’re taken care of.” as natasha mumbled a soft “i love you too” into the top of your head along with a few more words you simply couldn’t make out, you could feel her hold on you tighten as she started to cry. that night the two of you laid in bed together as you properly talked, having the first real conversation about something other than work for the first time since the snap. things didn’t get better overnight, but you could see the subtle shifts and after a couple months things finally felt better. it was about 3 years after, when natasha finally asked the question and the two of you got engaged. you had a small ceremony about a year after that, getting married in front of your closest friends- natasha having managed to track down clint that one time only, the archer disappearing once again afterwards.
when scott had showed up out of nowhere with the whole time travel idea, it was the first time any of you had felt any hope. the night before they left for the mission, natasha promised you to have another wedding- this time with wanda to walk you down the aisle and be your maid of honor. instead of sleeping early like you had intended, the two of you talked about a dream wedding with you suggesting to have clint’s kids be involved too. the two of you fell asleep in each other’s arms, smiles dancing on your lips and for the first time in a while, you dreamt a happy dream. if only you had known how fast dreams could shatter.
“see you in a minute!” natasha had called out, blowing you a kiss and sending her signature smirk to steve. you stood next to the controls, a bright smile on your face as you waited for them to come back. a minute later, everyone was back on the platform, except for a certain redhead. the smile you had quickly dropped as your eyes landed on clint’s hunched figure, his hand gripping the soul stone tightly. a choked sob escaped as you put the pieces together, your eyes met clint’s, not even needing your aura reading powers to see the sorrow, guilt and anguish he was feeling. she was gone, they might be able to get half of the world back but your whole world was simply gone and there was nothing that could be done to bring her back.
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While You Sleep
Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: kidnapping, violence
Summary: Soulmate!AU - Throughout life, you’re given glimpses of your soulmate through dreams. As you sleep, memories flash in your mind showing you the life your soulmate has lived. Everyone around you raves about how their soulmate reads great books or volunteers in their spare time. But you can’t relate as your dreams end up being more like nightmares. Through initial images of death and violence, you come to learn your soulmate is the Winter Soldier.
Masterlist | Series Masterlist
“They couldn’t take that from me. They could never take you.”
“I never want to bring you pain or worry, okay? That shouldn’t be what… we do.”
Bucky’s words rang in your head as you sat in the lonesome cell, fighting for release any way you thought to try. But naturally, these attempts of wrangling yourself out of this had fallen flat and you weren’t trying anymore, that’s for certain. It only made the restraints dig into your wrists more. Not to mention you were beyond tired hitting a point of exhaustion that you didn't know was possible. You weren’t given a chance to relax as you sat on edge, waiting. Waiting for what - or really who - you didn’t quite know.
Sure, you had an Avenger for a soulmate (at least, that was what you considered Bucky, despite his humbleness) but you weren’t exactly up to date on their enemies. From your understanding, between the looks of the facility and your soulmate’s history, this was seeming like the work of Hydra. But they had been abolished...right? Apparently, you didn’t know anymore and doubts rang in your head as you feared you weren’t some random victim.
The first signs of daylight were just beginning to peek into your cell from a very tiny, thin window located near the top of the wall beside you.
Suddenly, a grumbling voice called from outside the cell. “She’s up.” You whipped your head towards the sound, just barely able to make out a figure illuminated by the early morning glow. There was probably some comment to make to whoever this was about how you hadn’t really slept but you couldn’t find your voice at the moment.
“Excellent.” A deeper, possibly older, voice called from down the hall. The man sounded way too excited for your liking. Your stomach threatened to empty its contents as heavy footsteps began making their way towards your cell.
When the steps stopped, you tried squinting through the minimal light but still couldn’t make out much of either man. If you had to guess, they looked like some doctors of sorts in long lab coats with notebooks in hand. One thing you definitely could tell was that they didn’t hesitate to stare back. You could feel their eyes taking you in over and over again making your heart pound in a weirdly familiar way.
“Does she speak?” The first man asked with a humorless scoff. You twisted in your wrist restraints wishing for some courage to get up and maybe put space between you.
Mustering a scrap of energy, you turned away from the men, hoping maybe your matted hair falling in your face could block them out forever. Because really, couldn’t this be forever? How would anyone know what happened? Your best bet was your coworker noticing your absence but then you thought of Bucky… He was away for now and by the time he caught wind who knows what would be of you. Tears began welling in your eyes at the thought of this being it for you -- whatever this was. You still weren’t sure what about you compelled these men to kidnap you in the middle of the night.
“Hey,” the same voice called out to you this time, pulling you from your troubling thoughts. Slowly, you turned back to him, taking in more of the doctor (fake, you guessed) persona now. “I asked if you speak.”
“No,” you grumbled. You didn’t know where this smart response came from but it made you feel a bit better like you were coming back to yourself. Really, though, you were in no position to start getting smart with anyone.
He let out a joyous laugh that sent far more fear through you. “The Soldier’s soulmate has an attitude, huh?”
Soldier? Bucky. Your heart panged at another thought of him. If that’s who they were referring to, this was to be about Bucky, you realized. These men knew him and whatever connection was festered there, it hadn't fizzled and you were caught in the crossfire. This actually couldn’t be them… But it looked like it.
Suddenly, the cell door opened with a loud screech, and the two men walked into the full glory of the morning sunrise. There, on their white coats, you saw an emblem of what appeared to be some tentacle-bearing creature. Your suspicions were regrettably confirmed.
They walked towards you, their eyes looking over you as if you were an experiment and they were memorizing you. With fear racing through you, you slowly began scooting backward trying to get as far away as you could. Your back eventually hit a wall and they just kept coming.
“Quite the squeamish one for being chained to The Soldier,” the second man observed, writing something down in his notebook. You could see now that he was much older, having that wiser look in his older years. You guessed he was a leader of sorts (at least, that was how you were going to file him in your head) and the other man, the one who was so kind to comment on your attitude, was some kind of assistant. You couldn’t take your eyes off the logo on their coats as it was practically screaming in your face. It all felt impossible and yet here you were, in the belly of the beast.
“W-What am I doing here?” You asked, your voice scratchy and nervous. Honestly, you were just glad you had the guts to make any noise. The assistant looked a bit humored at your question.
“Wow, she speaks full sentences,” he commented with an unsettling smirk.
The “leader” of the pair shot him a look before turning back to speak to you. “We have some observing to do, my dear,” he briefly explained.
The vagueness of it all was certainly not helping you - like anything realistically could in this moment. Still, you pursued it. “Observing?”
He hummed in response, turning back for a moment to write a few more lines in the notebook. Truthfully, you wanted to just kick it out of his fucking hand. Your eyes flicked quickly to the assistant but he wasn’t handing out any hints, just looking at you like you were something to be conquered. Oh, how you wanted to vomit on their shiny dress shoes.
“I will explain our intentions to ease your mind,” he snapped his notebook shut, “but first, you are to be moved.”
And just like, as if his words were keys, a hoard of men entered the cell and hoisted you to your feet. You tried kicking and screaming but they were strong. Maybe too strong. A strength you possibly could only recall in two other men you knew. But you didn’t have time to dwell on it as they corralled you easily and forced you down the hall.
Everything was dark again. There was no light from the windows in the hall, just some musty glows of lightbulbs hanging from the ceiling. You didn’t know where to look so you just stared downward, taking in the metal flooring that made you chilled.
After turning a few corners, you were brought to a much larger cell. This one at least had a chair, but you didn’t think it was exactly a nice grand gesture as your eyes landed on the restraints attached to it. The second thing you noticed was some sort of computer-like machine and rolling tables which lined the side. If you hadn’t known better, you would’ve thought this was just another medical office.
You yelped as one of the large men threw you on the chair, not giving you a second to even adjust before your hands were unbound only to be rebound by the chair’s restraints. You tugged a bit at them out of reflex, finding them as sturdy as expected. Your legs were free, though, maybe offering some tactic but exhaustion and fear overtook you.
Once they deemed you settled in, the army of men left, walking in line as commandingly as they had entered. The leader and his assistant stayed, waiting for you three to finally be alone once more. The door shut with a disturbing bang, really sealing your fate. The assistant stayed off to the side, leaning against a wall adjacent to the chair. The leader walked over to you, taking a seat on some rolling stool. Wow, these guys really thought they were serious professionals or something.
“I hope the trip here was okay,” the leader said with a chuckle. “Comfortable?” He motioned towards your lounging state. You blinked. “I see we are losing that attitude. What a shame, really. I’m sure your soulmate loves a firecracker.” Your body visibly tensed at the mention of Bucky. The elderly man didn’t miss it. In fact, it seemed like you unintentionally gave him the perfect segue into his whole evil spiel.
“Ah, yes, your soulmate.” The leader nodded as if he had just forgotten all about it. “Well, you see, the fact he even has one was news to us,” he shrugged and glanced at his assistant who nodded in confirmation. “We were sure when we wiped him we were wiping everything, so imagine our surprise when we find out he’s out and about dancing - with you on his arm.”
Your throat tightened as the memories of you and Bucky at the dance hall flooded your mind. It had been so busy that night you never would’ve thought you’d have to worry about someone… It sounded so ludicrous to you. You almost wish he hadn’t said it as the thoughts of that night were suddenly a bit darker. The carelessness you two had held seemed foolish now.
The leader watched you carefully. When you didn’t say anything in response, just blinked away more tears, he continued, “At first, we were quite angry we had missed something so big. We could’ve sworn we broke every attachment time after time but, as I said, you just swept The Soldier right off his feet. So, naturally, our sights were set on eliminating you.” He let out a ridiculous hearty laugh. “But then my assistant here,” the man in the corner waved in response, “realized that that would be a waste. There could be potential here for you. For you and your soulmate. Potential rooted in a team. Two unbreakable soldiers, both in bond and skills. What more could Hydra want?”
You gasped, your eyes growing wide, at the explanation. You didn’t know what to do now, your body had a mind of its own as it began shaking your head furiously as your wrists tugged and tugged at the restraints. This wasn’t realistic. They were absolutely mad. What kind of foolishness was this? They couldn’t possibly -
“Now, now,” the leader chuckled and turned to his notebook. He began checking referencing stuff from the monitor to the paper. “Don’t get too excited. We’re still brainstorming the whole concept and while it’s not near execution, it is on the promising side. There is, though, a vital component we seem to be lacking: your soulmate.”
Bucky… Your heart felt like it was going to rip itself out of your chest. Was he walking into a trap? Assuming he was walking in at all? Who was to say he had any idea of what was going on with you? How long could this all be for… You let out a surprising sob.
The leader responded to your outburst with an annoyed scoff. “There’s no reason to cry, dear. He’s sure to be here soon thanks to that little bond you have. If he hasn’t already recognized your distress by now, well, he’s not as smart as we thought.” He shrugged and began typing away on the monitor’s keyboard. “The whole attachment may all work out in our favor after all. Eventually, you two will be reunited, and won’t that be just lovely?”
Truthfully, you didn’t know anymore. You had no doubt in Bucky’s fighting abilities but these guys were… Well, they were pretty much responsible for him and everything you had seen him be put through. Who knows what they could do if (and when) he walked through those doors. You were lucky you hadn’t passed out yet from this anxiety alone.
“Besides, as I said, it’s all later down the line anyway,” the leader said. It had suddenly occurred to you at that moment that you were very glad he hadn’t given out his name. You couldn’t imagine humanizing these monsters. “For now, though, we are interested in learning more about you. I’ll be honest, on paper you are quite boring. Barely finished high school, left college for a coffee shop job… The pairing is almost comical. We just can’t figure out what you offer him and while, really, who are we to question Fate? But I still think in time we can figure out...well, whatever it is about you.”
You shook your head slowly, your eyes barely even able to focus on him anymore. Everything in you felt so heavy. “I’m not special.”
“Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong,” the leader chuckled. “He makes you special.”
As if on cue, a chorus of screams erupted from the hallway. You all jumped and turned towards the door. There was a little window on it but all you three could see were the bodies of the army of men from earlier flying about.
“Sooner than we expected,” the leader mumbled and began furiously typing something into the computer.
You didn’t know what to do besides sit there and wait for whatever was coming. Deep in you, you knew it was Bucky, you could feel it. You could feel him. But there was also a part of you that could also sense… rage. A very familiar, unsettling rage burned within him. It made you wonder if you actually wanted to see him in such a state. Some sick piece of you wished they had just knocked you out.
There wasn’t much more time to consider what you were going to do as the door to the cell was ripped off. Literally, fully, ripped away at the hinges to reveal a very determined, very angry, Bucky. He had an expression you didn’t recall seeing before, even in the nightmares. He looked ready to murder everything in its path but there was no calculated strategy to the madness. It seemed to be just him and his pure desire to eliminate anything and everything. His eyes were locked deadly on the older man, seemingly opting to ignore you. The assistant had begun shifting further away into the corner of the space.
“So nice of you to join us,” the leader said with an unsettling laugh. “I’ll admit, we weren’t expecting you so soon. I barely got a chance to get to know your little darling here.” He motioned towards you.
“I’m only going to ask this once,” Bucky finally spoke, his voice strained, “let her go.”
The leader smiled, “I’m not sure you’ll be asking for anything in a moment, anyways.” He motioned towards the computer. You and Bucky followed his motion with matching bewildered expressions. “In fact, I think you’ll be the one doing what I ask.”
Bucky’s eyes widened. “No-,”
But it was already set in motion. With a simple press of a button, the room filled with an electronic voice repeating a series of words in a foreign language. You looked around, unsure of where this could even be coming from and what the hell was being said, Your eyes eventually settled on Bucky who looked completely… lost. You gripped the sides of the chair, begging for this to just be over, as you watched that was so familiar. You could feel the memories rising from the depths of your brain. Hidden away, nearly suppressed... You gasped. The nightmares. That’s what all this was. They had pulled the trigger.
As much as you loved and trusted Bucky, you couldn’t say the same for the other guy. If in that state, could he even recognize you? Like, fully understand your role? You didn’t want to find out, truly. The panic that was settling in now was unlike anything you had experienced that day. Not even the idea of Hydra goons kidnapping you had sparked this much within.
You were preparing yourself for the worst as you watched Bucky try to shake it off. The leader wore a proud expression while the assistant kept his lonely distance, watching everything unfold. Suddenly, Bucky began mumbling to himself as his hands made hard fists. You thought the blow was finally coming and he was going to be gone. Just like that.
But then Bucky lunged. In one swift move, he pounced on the leader, taking everyone in the room off-guard, especially the target of the aggression. The older man hadn’t even had a chance to put his arms up before your soulmate was punching him relentlessly. Bucky’s yelling in the process was of pure, expressive anger, completely drowning out the screams of pain from the leader. You didn’t know what to do. You wanted to look away so badly but you were also hypnotized. Bucky was so determined and unwavering in whatever goal was planted in his head. A bit thankful someone would go to such lengths for you, you had had enough of such danger in your sleep - you didn’t want it in your reality.
Bucky switched suddenly to strangling the man and that seemed to be the final straw for the leader’s life. The older man was soon just a lifeless, limp body on the floor. Bucky was still knelt above him, watching the soul drain from his victim. Your jaw went slack. You couldn’t turn this off.
The assistant didn’t help it as he made some foolish break for the exit but Bucky was just as fast. In a couple of determined strides, Bucky yanked the younger man back by the neck and threw him into the wall creating an artistic indentation. The assistant fell to the floor with a chilling thud.
There was no one left for his sights to land on except for you. Slowly, Bucky turned around. A shiver ran up your spine when your eyes finally met. You didn’t know who was standing before you. Whatever or whoever this was quickly began stomping their way towards you. You shut your eyes and flinched away, waiting for a painful, finishing blow from the Soldier.
But it never came.
Instead, all Bucky did was lean over to turn off the speakers and then began untying your wrists. Hesitantly, you turned to look at him but found he wouldn’t look at you, just was intensely concentrated on the restraints.
“B-Bucky?” Your voice was scratchy as you fumbled over his name.
“It’s me, doll,” Bucky responded with an exhausted sigh. He sounded normal to you, his demeanor not even looking close to what you remembered from the nightmares. He… He was okay. Bucky still wasn’t looking at you as he finished one restraint then went on the next.
Bucky shook his head. “Everything’s okay,” he mumbled. “We’re getting you out of here.”
“The team is outside handling the other men.”
“You all came for me?”
Bucky finally looked up at you. For the first time, you could see just how tired he looked. A man nearly on the brink of defeat and enduring the fight. Your heart ached as all you wanted to do was crawl into his arms and take the longest naps of your lives.
“Of course, sweetheart,” Bucky nodded. Gently, after the last restraint was undone, he picked you up bridal style. You threw your arms around his neck and buried your face in his shoulder, letting yourself relax and the tears flow.
“Thank you,” you mumbled but Bucky didn’t respond as he carried you out of the facility
You must’ve fallen asleep because a few hours later you awoke at some sort of compound. You were lying in what appeared to be a hospital bed but nothing about this place looked like a typical hospital. The technology was too advanced and everything just seemed too quiet. You looked around, letting your eyes adjust to the bright light of the sun shining in from the large room windows. In the corner, you were greeted by the sight of Bucky sleeping awkwardly in a chair.
You twisted in the bed, trying to get more comfortable under the blanket. The super-soldier hearing must’ve kicked in because one ruffle of the blanket made Bucky’s eyes shoot open. He looked at you, panic shifting to relief when he saw you were awake. Quickly, in a few steps, he was out of the chair and at your bedside.
“How are you feeling?” He asked softly. His hand went to touch your cheek but he must've thought better of it and instead lowered it. Your heart broke a bit wondering what self-deprecating thoughts were running through his brain after everything he had to do.
“I’m okay. Just a bit sore,” you shrugged but boy was it the hard truth. You hadn't been in a comfortable position in hours and endured being thrown around like some rag doll.
“Do you need any medicine?” Bucky asked, his voice suddenly having an air of panic to it. “I can call for help if you need it. Are you hungry? Do you need water? Or - Or just anything to drink? I can get you-,”
“Bucky…” You placed your hand on his to calm down. He flinched at your touch. “I’m fine. Everything is fine.”
He shook his head. “Nothing is fine, sweetheart. You were taken from me-,” Bucky cut himself off as his eyes began welling with tears. He looked wrecked as he stared down at you, taking in your current state. You felt the pain, wanting nothing more than to make all these torturing thoughts vanish. “You… You saw things that I just… I never wanted you to deal with-,”
“It’s over.” You took a deep breath. “I’m here, I’m safe, and you’re with me.”
Bucky closed his eyes as if preparing for something. “After what happened back there, do you even want me around anymore?”
Your jaw went slack at his question. Sure, there was absolutely no denying that the events of today scared you, most likely more than you realized. You had only seen Bucky that determined and violent in your nightmares so to see it just steps away was jarring. But you also knew nothing changed within him. He wasn’t a robot or anything. He wasn’t someone just taking commands. He had remorse. You certainly couldn’t say the same for who greeted you in your sleep. It may take you some time to adjust, sure, but you weren’t turning away. At least, you were going to try not to. Healing was just beginning.
“Of course, I do,” you said, raising your other hand to Bucky’s cheek. At first, he flinched but slowly he leaned into the touch, sighing like he was letting go of something. “Bucky, what happened back there… You had no choice. I don’t have to tell you that those were some very, very bad people. They had it coming and the fact you went to those lengths to save me is unbelievable.”
“I’d go to the ends of the Earth for my girl,” Bucky admitted.
You let out a weak giggle. “Thank you.” A pause. “May I ask how you figured out I was in trouble?”
Bucky smirked. “I had a nightmare.”
You raised your brows in surprise. “A nightmare?”
He nodded, “I started to feel weird after leaving for the mission like there was something I was missing. A little later on, I was taking a nap and you of course appeared but it was unlike any other dream I had ever had about you. It was… You were scared, deathly afraid of something, and then I saw what was going on. I practically watched it all play out from your apartment and on. It didn’t take too long to put everything together.”
You hmm’d. “Thank God for nightmares.”
Bucky chuckled and placed a light kiss on your forehead. “Thank God for nightmares,” he repeated in agreement.
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for old times’ sake
summary: steve stands trial in the TVA. you are not pleased.
word count: 2.5k
warnings: implied cheating and abandonment, endgame, inaccurate court procedures, angst, hurt/comfort
author’s note: this was supposed to be a crack fic. i don’t know where things went wrong. anyway, huge thanks to @syntheticavenger for helping me organize my thoughts. **this was written after episode one, so if information changes about the tva sorry in advance!
you can find my masterlist and taglist here
When you began your day, you hadn’t expected it to end in this position.
Not in the past, revisiting the moments your teammates had stolen Infinity Stones from. That, you’d expected. In fact, you and Steve had been preparing for the journey back for a solid few days— planning rendezvous points and backup routes if absolutely necessary.
What you hadn’t expected was to be sitting in the courtroom of some sort of cosmic bureaucracy, watching an animated clock giving you a brief rundown of the very nature of time while you anxiously awaited the trial of your fiancé for ‘crimes against the Sacred Timeline’.
You cracked your knuckles while observing the ternary of obscenely large, beige statues, trying your best not to look at the woman to your right, the woman you’d only seen on old black and white film footage, and in the pocket compass of your lover.
You could feel the slightest hint of sweat beginning to precipitate on your palms as your mind ran wild with hypotheticals that could’ve led to this very moment. You ran through the events that preceded your abduction by the Time Variance Authority.
“Are you sure this is the best idea?” you asked, holding the suitcase containing only the Tesseract closer to your body.
“I’m sure. I know my way around Camp Lehigh, and I really don’t want to risk putting you, or the mission in any more danger than I have to. Besides, you’ve got Nat. Worry about getting her home safely.”
“Steve-” you began to protest.
“Hey, trust me,” the look in his eyes practically ordered you to put your faith in him. It was the same look that he’d given you before hundreds of risky missions, the look that convinced you not to sign the Sokovia Accords, the gaze that had always seemed to be able to melt away your fears and insecurities. Steve reached for your hand, and the knot in your stomach loosened. “This was my Plan A. I promise I’ll be back before you know it.”
You allowed your shoulders to drop while you squeezed his hand, taking a deep breath as you mulled over Steve’s words. “Fine,” you conceded, “but I’m gonna be pissed if something bad happens to you.”
“I love you,” Steve spoke with a hint of finality that you could only catch with the wisdom of hindsight. He kissed your interlaced fingers before pressing his lips to yours, a moment you wished you’d savored just a moment longer.
“I love you too. Seriously, don’t do something stupid in the past,” you quipped with the hint of a smile, attempting to mask the sense of dread creeping onto you.
“I’ll try my best,” Steve suited up along with you and Nat. Before you even had the chance to utter another word to Steve, he was gone.
Pressing the buttons on your suits, you arrived back at the platform in the back of the Compound.
You only really had a moment to celebrate, pulling away from you hug with Sam only to be met with a reflective rectangular prism along with three rather displeased looking agents.
“Y/N L/N, on behalf of the Time Variance Authority you are being summoned as a witness for crimes against the Sacred Timeline.”
“All rise,” the voice of some sort of officer forced your mind to stop wandering, pulling you back into the moment as you rose to your feet. “You may be seated.”
“We’re here today for Case 7-20-91 regarding crimes against the Sacred Timeline. Mr. Rogers, how do you plead?”
“...not guilty?” Steve said, clearly unsure of exactly what had gone wrong.
Judge Renslayer nodded, looking down at her files, then back up to the courtroom, “alright. Shall we take a look at your file?”
The question was certainly rhetorical, as she was already producing a small projector and working on displaying the footage to the rest of the room.
You watched with wary curiosity as the tape went through a play-by-play of Steve’s misdeeds in creating a branch timeline. Picking up with him bidding you farewell, you watched as he made his way through Camp Lehigh in a cool and calculated manner. He managed to get into the basement, returning the Tesseract to its proper place within the basement of the facility.
You took a deep breath and hoped that was the end of the tape. That Steve had taken a wrong turn and was about to run into someone, and that had caused a minor branch timeline. But the reality was much, much worse.
Steve looked into the container, then back at the appendage on his suit that determined the time as if he were making a final decision. After a beat, he set the date on his suit, then pressed down on the button that took him away from the Seventies.
But instead of showing up at the compound, he arrived in front of a quaint, unfamiliar house.
It had to be some sort of mistake. The tape had to end here, right? Steve set his time and place wrong, and that would be it. But the projection continued.
He knocked softly on the door, and after a minute a soft pattering against the floor could be heard before the slab of wood swung open.
There Peggy Carter stood, eyes wide and teary, brows raised in surprise, and hands covering her mouth in shock.
Your heart dropped into your stomach. You almost swore you could feel you could feel the acid within it beginning to eat away at your quickly breaking heart.
As much as it hurt to look at, you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the scene.
“I believe I still owe you that dance,” Steve said with a shy smile. You weren’t sure if you wanted to bolt out of the building or crumble into a puddle in the middle of the otherwise empty benches and sob until your tear ducts gave in.
The rest of the tape was a blur to you. Although you couldn’t seem to look away from the projection, your brain seemed to refuse to process the new information. Your vision blurred and your ears rang, turning the dialogue between Steve and Peggy into nothing more than radio static, finding that it hurt less that way.
The tape came to an end after the two shared an all too meaningful kiss, and you were grateful that you’d decided on a light breakfast that morning. Your heart was moving at a hummingbird pace, and you felt as if your whole world was collapsing in on itself.
Despite your inner turmoil, you held your composure when you were called up to the stands in order to recall the events leading up to Steve’s crimes.
“Please state your first and last name for the record,” Judge Renslayer ordered, and you complied.
“Ms. L/N, give us a little context for the crime. Where were you this morning?”
“Well, before we… travelled through time we were at the Compound. I mean, Avengers Compound,” you paused for a moment, scowling to yourself in thought. “Is Steve being arrested for time traveling? In that case, we’re both guilty.”
“No, the time traveling was supposed to happen. It was necessary for the stones to return to their proper places. However, going to Ms. Carter was not.”
You tried to ignore the feeling of your heart dropping further down your body. Hearing your worst fears verbalized made your head spin, “oh, okay.” You took a deep breath, trying to prolong the maintenance of your composure.
“Can you tell us what you two did on Vormir?”
“Well, we travelled to.. 2014 I think, and we had to talk to this weird red skulled dude. Steve knew him. We bargained with him and by giving him the soul stone, he gave us back Nat… Natasha Romanoff,” you seemed to be rambling on, nerves manifesting in an outpour of words from your mouth.
“Did Mr. Rogers mention anything about going back to see Ms. Carter?”
“Uh, no. Not to my knowledge. He just said he was going to the past alone because he wanted me to take Nat home, and didn’t want me getting hurt. I wasn’t too worried because we pl-“
The judge cut you off, “Okay, that’s enough. Ms. L/N, do you believe that Mr. Rogers had no ill intent in creating a branch timeline?”
You glanced between Steve and Judge Renslayer. The small red lipstick stain on his cheek seemed to be glaring at you. Your heart pounded against your ribcage as if it were trying to escape. You simply shook your head, “no.”
“Ms. L/N, do you believe that Mr. Rogers had planned in advance to live in the past with Margaret Carter?”
The words rattled in your brain. The simple question became distorted by the endless loop of Steve’s words before his departure.
This was my Plan A. I promise I’ll be back before you know it.
Deep down, you know that Steve is a decisive person. You don’t doubt that he had planned his desertion days ahead, if not months. Your stomach churned as you considered the possibility that from the moment he got out of the ice, he had wanted to find his way back to the past. That every special moment you shared was tainted with the presence of another woman, one who hadn’t truly been in the picture for years.
“I’m sorry, can you repeat the question? I just, uh, zoned out for a second,” you forced out a chuckle and twiddled your thumbs as you looked at the Judge, trying your best to make eye contact with her.
Judge Renslayer sighed before repeating herself, this time in a more drab tone. “Ms. L/N, do you believe that Mr. Rogers had planned in advance to live in the past with Margaret Carter?”
You hesitated before speaking, carefully contemplating the words on the top of your tongue that you truly didn’t believe.
“No, I do not.”
Steve was let off easy, no repercussions at all from the TVA when they considered the weight of his ‘accidental’ branching of a reality compared to the heft of him returning all of the Infinity Stones to their proper location, effectively trimming the branches that needed to be dealt with.
The TVA sent the three of you on your way, Peggy back to her time, and you and Steve back to 2023.
But you weren’t the TVA, and Steve’s venture to the past had far more consequences for the both of you.
You spent the rest of your day at the Compound avoiding Steve like the plague and trying not to think too long about your partner so as to not spontaneously burst into tears. That night, you struggled to find sleep. With Steve seeming to take the memo and not bothering to enter your shared room, you were met with a far too large bed that hadn’t been that empty in months. You tossed and turned restlessly, at times almost achieving sleep before falling victim to your own thoughts.
Sometime around 3AM, you made your way to the common room. You heard the soft chatter from the television as you rounded the corner, and figured that someone had left the TV on before heading to bed. You truly hadn’t expected to see Steve under a thin blanket, leaning against the arm of the couch as he watched a rerun of an old show.
He looked up, and his eyes briefly lit up at the sight of you before returning his stare to the screen ahead of him.
You somehow understood what he was thinking without him having to say it. Hundreds of sleepless nights had ended in this manner for you two, even before you began seeing each other.
The soft hue of blue light against his face was oddly comforting and nearly nostalgic for you, and as you sat down at the opposite end of the sofa, you had to stop yourself from falling into his lap and allowing him to hold and console you.
You chewed your lip as you half paid attention to the program in front of you. There was so much you wanted to say, but a knot seemed to be caught in your throat, preventing you from both crying and speaking your mind.
“Is it bad that I think I would’ve felt better if you cheated on me with someone else?” you finally spoke. The floodgates had opened, silent tears slipping down your cheeks before you could stop them. “I guess you never really stopped pining after her. Those memories of someone you kissed once were more promising than the five years of our relationship, right?”
There was no malice in your voice, only hints of hurt. Steve looked over at you, frown deeply imprinted on his face as he listened to you speak, “I’m so sorry, Y/N.”
His apology made it seem all too real, as if the trial and the tape of his actions weren’t tangible enough. Hearing Steve himself admit aloud that what he had done, what he had planned to do, was wrong enough to warrant an apology, and the tinge of regret laced in his tone made your heart break all over again.
The desire to be comforted was no longer just a want. You needed to feel Steve, feel his body radiate heat onto you while he wrapped his big, protective arms around you. You could barely stop yourself from standing up and approaching him, getting close enough to collapse next to him, laying your face on his legs and taking in a shaky breath.
“You don’t have to apologize to me,” you whispered, “just tell me you weren’t going to stay there with her,” you paused and looked up from your place in his lap, “please.”
Steve frowned as he looked down on you, clearly having some sort of internal conflict over telling you the truth or not.
“I just want to hear you say it,” your voice trembled as the foundation of floodgates holding back your tears began to crumble. “Please, just tell me it was a mistake.”
“It was a mistake. It’s you, Y/N. It’s always been you.”
It should’ve hurt because you now knew it wasn’t true. That you’d been playing second chair in a relationship where you’d believed you were the first. That you wouldn’t ever be able to change it, despite how hard you tried to be the perfect partner, you would constantly be in the shadow of an idealized Peggy Carter.
Yet, his false words consoled you. You buried your face further into his thigh, desperate to indulge in the feeling of comfort that you had so deeply longed for. You shallowly inhaled the scent of his pajama pants, as his hand came down to massage your scalp. It felt familiar, safe. Steve didn’t even mention how your tears were beginning to seep through the fabric of his pants.
You should want more for yourself, to get up and tell Steve that he won’t ever have the chance to throw you to the sideline again. That he can’t treat you and everyone else in his life like pawns in his sick game of Chess.
But for now, all you want is Steve, and his artificial, comforting words
And somehow— that’s enough.
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credit to the owner of this gif!
pairing: chris evans x teen! fem! reader
y/n got a role on marvel and she’s about to shoot her first scene, but her nerves are kicking in. luckily, chris evans is there to ease her anxiety.
word count: 401
warning: not really angsty, just lots of fluff
Y/N sat on her chair as she read her script, her eyes gazing down her lines and muttering to herself. She was currently on set memorizing a few of her lines before she was sent to shooting with others, and she was nervous because she didn’t want to mess up in front of Robert Downey, whom she will shoot a scene with. She was too caught up in her head that she didn’t notice Chris Evans taking a seat next to her waving up his hand in front of her, looking at her with a grin.
“Earth to Y/N!”
Snapping out of her thoughts she looked at him, a crimson painting her cheeks. She shyly smiled at him, “Oh, h-hey, Chris.” she greeted with a soft smile, her heart fluttering at the sight of him. He returned the smile and gazed down to her hand holding her script. “You ready to shoot your scene for the first time?” he asked her, his smile reaching his eyes.
She nodded her head, “I think so.” she answered, shoving a few hair strands away from her face and gave him a shy smile, “Just nervous since I’ll be shooting a scene with Downey, who’s amazing by the way, and I hope I won’t mess up my lines because I-'' she brought her hand to her mouth, mentally cursing for ranting.
She giggled, “I’m sorry, I rant when I’m nervous.” Chris chuckled and laid a hand on her shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. “There’s nothing to be stressed about, Downey is a huge softie. You’ll be fine, Y/N,” he reassured, making her cheeks burn as she nodded with a flustered smile.
Y/N hummed, fiddling with her hands while trying to distract herself from her beating heart and a flushed face. She was about to open her mouth to say something but was cut off when one of the crew members told her to show up at the set.
“Time’s up, Y/L/N.”
She gave them thumbs up and stood up from her chair, leaving her script on the chair, and went to a vanity mirror to check herself. She turned to Chris and pointed at her outfit, “How do I look? Will this capture heart eyes?” she asked him with a cheeky smile, making him laugh, his hand resting on his chest.
“You look great, sweetheart. You’ll do amazing.”
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send me requests or prompts for anything you want me to write!! i just need a little inspiration :))
here is my prompt list!: prompt list
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Pairings: 1940'S Bucky Barnes x Reader/ Present Bucky Barnes x Reader.
Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing, some smut at some point.
Summary: Before the war, Bucky and Reader had the picture perfect life together. When she lost him, she thought that she would never find that kind of love again. However, someone from a different time returns to give her that love once more. Will she follow them through the unknown or come to terms that her once in a lifetime love is truly gone?
A/N: I’m sorry for the lack of updates the last month but hopefully I made up for it with this chapter. Thanks to everyone who’s stuck along!
TAGS: @overthinkinggotmedrinking @igothroughphasesalot @veralyonn @shannonleanna182 @white-wolf-buckaroo @whatawildone @jessyballet @sebby-staan @multiyfandomgirl40 @andeys-obsessions @spid3rgwen @slut-for-buck @spideyyypeter @voguekristen @justmeandmyfuckeduplife @kenziekugler22 @hoodedbirdie
February 14, 1942
My heels smacked hard against the concrete as I stormed away from the restaurant, it getting smaller and smaller the farther I got. I had been sitting inside the nice restaurant for over an hour, waiting for Bucky to meet me but he never showed. The other couples at the restaurant could practically see the anger radiate off my body when I slowly began to realize that I had been stood up.
I stomped up the stairs towards my apartment and with a hard slam of the door, I made a beeline to the phone in its place in the kitchen, fingers working fast to dial the number I had burned into my brain.
The anger subsided when I heard the young voice answer the phone.
“Hi Rebecca. It’s Y/N. Is your brother home?”
There was some rustling on the other end of the line and some voices bickering before Rebeca’s came through again. “Uh, he left a few hours ago to meet you.”
Bless her heart; it didn’t take a genius to know that she had lied through the phone.
“Put him on, Becks.” I demanded.
A bit of rustling on the other end once more and when I heard the deep voice, I didn’t hold back.
“James Buchanan Barnes, how dare you? You stood me up at the restaurant. I looked like such a fool sitting there waiting for you to show up!”
My voice cut him off. “Don’t doll me, James. It’s Valentine's Day and you stood me up! I’m all decked out for you and you couldn’t even show up.”
“I know, Y/N. I picked up extra hours at work and I didn’t realize we had a date tonight,” Bucky apologized.
“It’s Valentines Day! How did you forget!?”
“Look, Y/N, I’ve had a long day and if you’re going to flip your wig I don’t want to hear it,” Bucky sighed.
I scoffed loudly while shaking my head. “Screw you, Barnes. If you want to be alone, well you’re in luck. Your schedule opened up because I’m done. Goodbye.”
Not bothering to hear what he had to say, I slammed the phone down. My feet were glued in place, hands shaking with anger at my side. It suddenly clicked in my brain what I said to Bucky and regret washed over me.
Did I break up with him?
Would he take it seriously?
Gnawing on my bottom lip, I eyed the phone but quickly shook my head. If I called him back, he would think I wasn’t mad anymore. I needed him to realize how upset I was at him for forgetting about our date. I ignored the nagging voice in the back of my head as I headed towards my room, ready to forget this day.
There was a soft tune playing on the other side of my door which caused my tired eyes to slowly open. A groan slipped through my lips and I rolled out of bed, tying my robe around my exposed body; opting to always sleep in a tank top and underwear.
“What on earth,” I mumbled when my feet came to a stop in my living room.
The room had been decorated with candles, a handful of bouquets of roses, and some rose petals flooded the floor around me. What captured my eyes, however, was the man standing in the middle of it all. His hair slicked back and his best black suit clung onto his body in the best places.
“Bucky?” I asked, sleep still heavy in my voice.
“I let myself in with the key under the rock. I don’t know how many times I’ve told you that it’s not safe to leave a key outside,” Bucky shook his head with a smile.
“What is all this?”
I ignored his comment about the key. It was almost a daily discussion between the two of us.
“After our fight earlier, I had a one-sided conversation with my ma. She made me realize what an idiot I was. I shouldn’t have stood you up tonight and I’m so sorry. Can you forgive me?” He pouted while holding up the beautiful bouquet of white roses in his hand.
Any anger or worry I was still clutching onto faded away and my lips curled into a large smile. I extended my hand towards him, expecting to get the flowers, but Bucky fingers laced through mine and pulled me into his chest. My hands spread over the thickness of his chest and I marveled at how defined his muscles were under my touch.
The soft tune of our favorite record played in the background as Bucky and I swayed to the music.
“I feel underdressed,” I pointed towards my robe.
Bucky smirked before stepping away, quickly shook out of his jacket and shirt before stepping out of his pants. He was now standing in front of me in a crisp white undershirt and a pair of his dark briefs; one of my favorites.
“How’s this, doll?” He questioned with a raised brow.
“Much better,” I giggled.
Our bodies melted together once again and I allowed myself to rest my cheek against his chest, feeling his heartbeat. It pounded faster than usual which silently told me that he was nervous about something.
Bucky brushed his lips across my forehead. “I don’t want to worry you, doll.”
“Tell me,” I urged him with a squeeze to his hips.
We continued to dance to the slow music.
Bucky avoided my gaze at first but eventually sighed. “My friend Sam from work got his orders this morning.”
This time, it was my heart that began to pound against my chest hearing the news. The war overseas was something that loomed over our heads, not knowing if it would come between us. We never talked about it, however, knowing that if we did one of us would not be happy.
“Are you afraid?” I questioned.
Bucky spun me around, bringing our bodies closer together. “A little but if I get my orders, I don’t have a choice but to go.”
I nodded. “I know.”
The conversion seized with Bucky dipping me low and softly pressing his lips on mine. My fingers played with the ends of his hair while we continued to kiss, enjoying the moment between us.
“I love you,” he muttered against my lips.
“I love you too, Bucky.”
Neither of us could truly understand what was about to happen in the next few weeks, the reality that we were ignoring would slam into us and rocking our relationship to the core.
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Disclaimer: I write content that is for an 18+ audience. Should you be younger than this, please do not interact with this blog as there is adult content apart of it.
Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x female reader
Summary: You have a sleepover with your next-door neighbor Wanda, you two were good friends growing up. So, slumber parties were normal. Although this one may just be different.
Warning: Angst, fluff and smut - tis' the holy trinity (be 18+ to read), this is a modern au fic so yeah!
Side note: Okay, since its pride month I wanted to write this since I’ve decided to embrace myself and finally be who I am. So I like girls and guys, love is love <3. Also, go easy on me, its the first time I wrote about a girl going down on a girl.
“You got everything you need?” Wanda asked as you walked into her room.
“Yep, alcohol and all.” You chuckle and leave your bag on her bed.
She smiles and lays down on the couch she has in her room. You and her were good friends and shared everything with one another, so when your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes. She noticed.
“Alright, wanna tell me what’s wrong?” She said sitting up and looking at you.
“What do you mean?” You asked confused.
“You’re not being your usual self; I know something is wrong.” She observed when your eyes widened slightly.
“Oh well, there is something wrong, but it’s all good.” You dismiss and go to lay on her bed.
“Yeah I’m sure.” She says sarcastically and raises her brow when all you do is stare at her.
“Fine, David cheated on me… again.” You muttered and stared up at her ceiling.
“That lowlife bastard lost the best thing that happened to him. I hope you’re not going back to him?” Wanda rants on about how she knew he wasn’t the one for you.
“Nope, not making that mistake again. It’s been a week since it happened and I’m trying to not let it bother me, but then my mind goes ‘must be something wrong with me for it to happen twice’. My thoughts just need to be distracted.” You say the last part more quietly as you avoid eye contact with Wanda.
“Wanna get drunk and laugh about him?” She suggested and looked to the bag of alcohol you brought.
Your parents were away for the weekend, and she lived on her own since her parents passed away.
“Sure, let’s do it.” You motionlessly cheered and stayed where you were. Wanda chuckled and got up to grab the bag.
You both agreed to bath and prepare snacks first, so you didn’t get hopelessly drunk.
“Alright my trustee beauty, let’s get to drinking.” She said slinging an arm over your shoulder.
“Let’s get started.” You smirk taking the cap off the Vodka bottle (idk anything about alcohol, pls excuse my weird combinations of alcohol).
“There we go.” Wanda laughed as you took a sip straight out of the bottle and cringe as the taste flooded through your mouth.
“I really need to think before I do things.” You chuckle handing the bottle to Wanda, she took it and easily took a sip without so much as a furrow of her brows, which was most likely directed to your words.
“You only live once, be reckless and do what you want. As long as its legal.” She motioned with her hand in reason.
You smile at her as she settled down next to you on the couch.
“Okay, where do we start? First off the name David is just a red flag on its own (no offence to any David’s out there).
“There was more than one red flag for sure, I was just to blind to see them.” You place a hand of your forehead as if you were in distress, Wanda looked to you and laughed.
“I know just the thing to make you forget about that douche.” Wanda woke up from the couch and walked towards a table that had a bunch of CD’s on them.
She was looking for one specific one, once it was found. She placed it into her radio and turned to you motioning for you to wake up. You groaned but woke up anyway.
Once the music started to play you immediately smiled and made your way to her. Britney Spears ‘Toxic’ started to play.
The song certainly suited the mood, you and Wanda weren’t dancing to impress, mainly to just let loose and have fun. So, when the lyrics
With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride.
You're toxic, I'm slippin' under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you.
Don't you know that you're toxic?
…came on and she hand your front pressed completely against hers, you were flushed and from the way she was looking at you.
You two continued to goof around, switching from drinking to eating snacks. When your performance was finally over you and Wanda were breathless and needed a break.
Once again finding your way to the couch, Wanda was at your side looking at you.
“You know what’s the worst thing about being with David?” You asked rhetorically.
She nodded to you to continue.
“When we were intimate, he wouldn’t even let me finish off most of the time. Once it was over for him, it was lights out, goodnight.” You grumbled and ate a chip.
“You’re kidding?” Wanda asked in disbelief.
“Nope, I had to myself a toy and use it when he wasn’t around.”
“He definitely didn’t deserve you.” Wanda shook her head and bit her lip in thought.
“Yep, he did not.” You glance at her and sigh.
Silence settled between the two of you. It wasn’t unusual to talk about your sex life with Wanda, you just weren’t as blunt as she was when she would tell you about it. No one knew about your toy that you kept hidden in your undies drawer.
“When was the last time he made you cum?” Wanda asked looking to you.
“A while.” You say embarrassed and hide away from Wanda’s eyes.
“Hey there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
She moved your hand away from your face and placed your hair behind your ear.
For a moment all you two did was look into each other’s eyes, and then her lips were on yours.
You kissed her with as much force as she did to you, her hands were roaming your body as she made you sit up. Your hands were on her waist and hers cupped your face, pulling you further into the kiss. She pulled back to look at you with a smile.
“I always wanted to do that.” She smiled.
You returned her smile and looked away.
You had never kissed a woman before, and Wanda certainly was a woman. You felt something within your chest flutter when placed her hand on your chin and made you look at her.
“We don’t have to go anything that you’re not comfortable with.” She stated assuring.
You didn’t want her to think that, because you had no problem doing what you wanted. You just didn’t want her to feel as if she was a rebound.
“That’s not it, I was just complaining about my ex 10 minutes ago and I don’t want you to think of yourself as a rebound or anything because I would love to take this further.” You explained and she looked to you with understanding and warm eyes.
Wanda could tell you were genuine and wanted you to know that she knew what you meant.
“I know babe.” She said and smiled.
“So, I am okay with doing anything you’re comfortable with. I’ve never been with a woman before.” You say a bit shyly.
“I guarantee you that you’re going to like it, a lot. Are you okay with me touching you?”
“Yes.” You instantly reply.
She chuckled and moved to take off her pajama shirt and pants.
She was left in her underwear and next moved to place her hands on your waist and trail her hands upwards to take off your clothes next.
Once you were also bare and on display for her to see, you felt desired in her eyes. It was the way she looked at you, with such passion and lust filled eyes.
“You have a beautiful body y/n.” She admired your body as she glided her palms flat against your tummy and up towards your breasts.
She started to trail kisses from your lips, down your neck and to your sweet spot. A moan escaped your lips as you bit down on them. She looked up, “Don’t hold those moans back baby. I want to hear how I’m making you feel.” She praised and continued with her kisses till she took your bra off and started to tease your nipples.
The sensitivity of her touch made your pussy wet, and you did as she said and let those little moans that she liked free.
“That’s it.” She muttered and gently pushed back for you to lay down on the couch.
“Is it okay if I have a taste of you?” She asked as she placed more kisses on your neck.
“Yes please.” You sighed loving the feel of her lips on your skin.
“With pleasure.” She smiled and kissed her way down to you panties. She looked up and saw you looking down at her.
“Close your eyes and enjoy the feeling.” She assured you and hooked her finger on the waist band of your panties and pulled them down.
You were now completely bare and at her will to for her to do anything she wanted.
Her fingers delved into your pussy lips, spreading them and your wetness. Her one hand had supported her so that she was hovering over you and watching you. She loved the expressions you made while in pleasure.
“Wanda.” You begged as you glanced up at her.
“Play with your breasts for me while I taste your pussy.” She stated and made her way down your body, she glanced up and watched as your hands made their way to your nipples and teased them. With one last smile she spread her tongue out directly on your clit.
Immediately you went to clench your thighs together in pleasure. She gripped your thighs down, preventing them from moving and continued.
Her tongue moved in circles around your clit, kissing. Her fingers moved down to your pussy and spread your wetness before she started to taste you and eventually fucked your with her tongue.
You were a moaning mess, hands still teasing your nipples as Wanda worked her magic with her fingers.
Wanda slipped two fingers into you and moved them in a comfortable motion. When she put her tongue back on your clit you released a loud moan.
“Do that again.” You pleaded and glanced down.
Wanda smirked and did as you asked.
She started to move her fingers faster as you bucked your hips against her face.
“You gonna cum? Cum for on my tongue baby.” She says against your clit, and you do just as she says, moaning out her name.
Her fingers were still moving inside you, letting you ride out your orgasm and calm down slowly, the whole-time whispering praises into your ear and kissed you in between.
Once you calmed down and caught your breath, she smiled at you and kissed your lips. You kissed back with passion.
What you felt while Wanda went down on you was nothing compared to the times anyone before her.
“You can tell David I gave his ex cunnilungus on my couch.” You lightly hit her shoulder but snuggled into her and smiled.
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nightmares- b. barnes
pairings: bucky x reader
warnings: nightmares, guilt, ptsd
about: (PK4) forehead kisses + (PF26) person a wiping person b’s tears away +(DF53) “i just need you.” + DF10) “breathe.“ + (PF27) person a comforting person b after a nightmare
bucky rarely has nightmares when you sleep next to him. the sweet warmth that radiates from your body and fingers that stay tangled with his reassure him; you don’t let the bloody memories that hide in his mind, waiting to creep up on him when he lets his guard down, crawl up and leave him in shambles. you’re a dreamcatcher, with soft words and gentle kisses and kind touches.
today, however, has been one of his bad days. one of the days where he just can’t seem to escape the shadow of completely unnecessary regret- although during these days, trying to believe it unnecessary is hopeless. his mind is clouded over with his memories, metal hand too much to look at with the red stains he can’t help but see. you do what you can when they come, pressing your hands to his metal one in reassurance that you trust him- that the thought of him hurting you is impossible.
you comfort him to the best of your ability, give him tea and spend your day with him, whispering how much you love him and kissing his face.
when he goes to sleep, though, you can only do so much. today, it’s very little, and he finds himself back in the past, powerless to stop any of his actions, unable to pry his eyes open and escape back into reality. he can feel hands on his arms, and he panics when he can’t recognize if they lie in his horrible past reality or the one with you. he can feel you looking in his mind, pushing your soft voice through the terror, wake up bucky, you say. he forces his lids to part, surprised to feel the cold burn of tears welling in his eyes and running down his cheeks.
“bucky,” you coo, tone relieved when he notices you, taking a second to examine his state and whether touching him is the right choice. it proves to be when he falls into you at your open arms, dropping his head onto the crook of your neck. “oh, bucky,” you whisper, squeezing your eyes shut as you squeeze him tighter, allowing his tears to soak through your sleep shirt, “it’s okay, breathe, baby,”
“breathe,” you repeat, saying soft words into the shell of his ear until his sobs slow.
when they do, you pull away from him slightly, holding his face in your hands in front of you so you can look at him. your thumbs brush his cheeks, erasing salty tears. he begins to talk before you even think of asking, “they were with their little boy. i- i murdered them-” his words trap in his throat, mixing with another round of tears. you shake your head, “no, no, it wasn’t you, bucky. that isn’t you.”
at the tears that don’t stop running, you bring him closer, pressing a repeating kiss to his forehead, “what do you need?” you ask, already mentally going through his usual comforts: tea, hot chocolate, singing his favorite song-
“you, i just need you,” he begs, pressing his face into your chest. “you have me,” you promise, and you always will.
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Them: baby, my love, sweetheart, babe, darling, lovely
Me: are you okay?
Them: pet, poppet, kitten, puppy
Me: my legs have parted like the red sea
Also me: *calls everybody love, lovie, darling, sweet pea, sweetheart, baby, sunshine, and babe
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Natasha Romanoff x Reader and Wanda Maximoff x Reader (Platonic)
A/N: Natasha and Reader are engaged. Clint died at Vormir instead of Natasha. It’s kinda angst and deals with grief.
@natasha-danvers @blackxwidowsxwife @reminiscingtonight @midnight-lestrange
Family had always been complicated for you. Until you’d gotten to know the Avengers, and suddenly, family had become simple.
When Natasha had proposed, family had become the best part of you.
The best and worst part of surviving Thanos had both been the exact same truth.
Natasha hadn’t been the one to fall at Vormir.
But, that meant Clint had.
You’d been left in the wake of the battle with a shell of a person instead of a fiancée.
Still, it was more than the Bartons had.
Natasha had refused to go to Clint’s funeral. You hadn’t pressed her on it. If you were honest with yourself, you hadn’t been at all surprised.
You knew what Laura had wanted, what the kids had hoped for.
The pressure of their voices on the phone asking to speak to their Aunty Nat might have been enough to persuade her. It also might have been far too much.
You’d caught the panicked look in her eye when she’d realised who was on the other end of the line. You turned down the desperate requests of Lila in the kindest way you could. There was nothing else to do.
Natasha was still in bed when you left for the funeral. You tried not to let the worry for her linger.
You filmed it all. Natasha just wasn’t herself yet and you wanted to give her the chance to see it when she was ready.
You sat alone in the back row of seats, except for Peter. You made an unlikely pair. He’d caught your eye when he’d first entered the room. He’d looked lost, like he couldn’t believe he was at another funeral, the bewilderment made him appear even younger. His suit was a little too big for him; you’d kept a comforting hand between his shoulder blades for the whole ceremony.
When your name had been called to speak, you’d felt awkward immediately, handing your phone over to Peter as he took up the role of recording.
Your eyes kept flickering back to the camera phone as you spoke, painfully aware it should have been Natasha standing up here. You told the room what you could, about what a good friend Clint had been to you.
You tried not to look at his kids, or Wanda. You said everything that you thought Natasha might have wanted to say. It was only guesswork, but that felt right too. Natasha and Clint had always had their own secret understandings.
You thanked the casket aloud when you passed it, feeling ridiculous and on show, as the words caught in your throat. When you touched it, you saw your engagement ring. You rested your hand there a minute longer, remembering you were here to give Natasha’s farewell as well as your own.
Laura cried with you after the service. She looked too pale and all you could think to do was keep your hand steady on her shoulder. You weren’t Natasha and you weren’t enough. You told her to call you if there was anything she ever needed. Laura looked numb.
You squeezed her arm meaningfully when you repeated the words again.
You managed to catch Wanda before she flitted away altogether from the gathering. Your hand caught her sleeve and she turned on the spot. She looked too pale as well. She was crying, eyes rimmed red. You knew she hadn’t really stopped crying since that last battle. You held her in a tight hug when she started to cry even more.
You didn’t have any words to say, and neither did she.
‘Do you have somewhere to stay?’ You’d asked hoarsely, fighting desperately against your own grief for Clint and everyone he’d left behind.
You caught the hesitation that held the truth in it before Wanda had even nodded.
‘Is it somewhere that you want to stay?’ You’d asked, suddenly viscerally aware of the impact of Vision’s death. Wanda had shaken her head then, eyes staring at the ground. You caught the wobble of her bottom lip and took her hand in yours.
‘Come on.’ You said as you led her back to your car. Moving forward together was all you had left.
The drive back to yours was tense. Wanda stared out the window and you tried to keep your eyes on the road. You were exhausted.
You opened the door to the apartment that you shared with Natasha, leading Wanda through to the living room. Her eyes wandered automatically around the open space. You saw her notice the framed photos of Natasha and you that rested on the coffee table. You watched the raw grief roll through her, like she was feeling it all for the first time.
Before you knew it, you were holding Wanda upright, your hands bracing her forearms.
Wanda’s chest heaved with the dry sobs that were somewhere between pain and panic, as she fell forward against your chest. All you could do was keep holding her upright, letting her lean her weight against you. The sound coming from Wanda was muffled against your shirt, still you recognised it as aching grief in its most uncontrolled form.
Wanda was barely there anymore. It made you scared. You eased her to the sofa, sitting alongside her. When you saw her eyes again, the tears had stopped, but the far away look was back.
Wanda wrapped her arms tightly around her chest. She looked like she was trying to hold herself in one piece. Leaving her like this felt like a bad idea. You didn’t know what else to do.
‘Stay here.’ You soothed uselessly, seeing the ineffectiveness of your presence reflected in Wanda’s blank eyes. You hurried back through the hallway to your bedroom.
Natasha was still in bed. You stood quietly in the doorway, you’d become an expert at reading the signs. You’d run your fingers through her hair this morning, and it still looked the same. Natasha hadn’t moved all day. Worry sat like a heavy pit in your stomach.
Natasha’s eyes flitted across to you briefly, before returning to the ceiling.
‘Hi.’ You whispered, though there was no actual need to be quiet. Your heart beat faster as you really took in the sight of her. You were starting to get scared. Natasha just closed her eyes at the sound of your voice.
You moved across the room hesitantly, kneeling down next to her side of the bed.
You reached out your hand. You caught the glint of your engagement ring again and tried not to flinch at the deja vu from the funeral.
You touched her cheek softly.
‘I love you.’ You murmured, because it was always true. You weren’t sure if anything was getting through to Natasha, but if anything did, you hoped it would be that.
Natasha just squeezed her eyes tighter shut, and you saw the frown line on her forehead deepen.
You let any hope slip away again, and got back to your feet.
‘I’ll be cooking in a bit.’ You told her pointlessly. ‘Wanda’s here, you’re welcome to join us.’ You left off the inevitable alternative, that you’d put some snacks and water on the nightstand later.
She already knew what was coming, it had made up enough of her meals alredy.
You left the room feeling even heavier than when you entered. You hovered in the doorway of the living room for a second, spotting Wanda’s red hair spilling over the armrest of the couch.
You took a brief moment to feel the hopelessness.
You checked your phone. Two texts.
The one from Laura had a tight formality to it. Either from stress or disappointment with Natasha’s absence earlier.
Would either or both of you be able to watch the kids this Saturday?
You texted back in the affirmative, not letting yourself wonder how on Earth it would work. Maybe Natasha would feel better by then. You glanced back at the room you’d just exited and wished you could just stop pretending without everything falling apart.
The other text was from Peter.
Were you free to call?
You didn’t groan, though a selfish part of you felt like it. You remembered that lost look he’d had at the funeral. You moved quickly into the spare bedroom, both for privacy and the chance to check it looked okay for Wanda to stay the night.
Peter missed Tony. Also, the sky was blue. You had expected him to tell you so, and still it hurt horribly to hear. You missed Tony too, but Peter had lost something closer to a father.
You tried not to picture Tony’s daughter either, just like how you’d avoided Clint’s kids today.
Some pain was unimaginable.
He’d been invited to stay with Pepper for a weekend. Happy had offered to drive him. Peter didn’t know what to do.
‘Family should be with family.’ You had said, trying to keep the numbness out of your voice, back pressed against the shut door of the bedroom.
You felt a tightness in your chest, it was beginning to feel like you barely had the remnants of a family.
You slid your phone back into your pocket and moved through to the living room. Wanda was not, as you’d hoped, asleep. She stared blankly still at the dark television screen. You tried to ignore the way her eyes glowed red every minute or so.
‘I’m not hungry.’ She told you before you’d even opened your mouth. You froze for a second, having forgotten she could hear your thoughts.
‘What about -’ You began, trying to think of something that might tempt her.
‘I want to sleep.’ Wanda spoke again. Her voice was thick with exhaustion. You didn’t fight it any further.
At least Wanda was talking, Natasha’s silence had begun to eat you alive.
You moved her arm across your shoulder and helped her to her feet. She didn’t really need the physical support, but it was all you had to give.
Wanda leaned heavily into your side as you walked with her to the spare room.
‘Borrow anything you like from the dresser. There’s a new toothbrush in the bathroom.’ You felt yourself slipping into that tone you used with Natasha now. Keeping everything short, clear and to the point.
Wanda nodded once and sat on the end of the bed. You hesitated at the sight of her glassy eyes.
‘I’ll find you something to sleep in.’ You murmured, a tight certainty in your stomach that she wouldn’t move again without prompting.
You changed her into old plaid pyjama bottoms and a faded band t shirt that had once been Natasha’s.
When you left Wanda’s room, you moved back across the hall to the kitchen. You paused for a moment at the sight of the stove. You remembered you hadn’t been hungry in a long time. And, if neither of them wanted to eat, you didn’t have to force yourself to either.
You grabbed a handful of cereal bars and two bottles of water. You knocked on Wanda’s door first. She was lying in bed now. You placed the food and water beside her. You kissed her hair before you left, she didn’t react. You felt empty inside.
You crawled into the bed next to Natasha, hating how she turned her head away from you immediately.
A part of you wished you were dead like Clint. That all this unfixable pain could be left for someone else to deal with.
Instead, you buried your head into your pillow, dutifully maintaining the careful distance between the two of you. Finally, you let the exhaustion that you’d been trying to smother all day, rise up and claim you.
You woke up with the daybreak. Your eyes went immediately to Natasha; she was crying again in her sleep.
You moved closer to her instinctively, wiping the tears from her cheeks with the lightest brush of your fingers.
You watched as the nightmare woke her with a startled sob. You saw the moment where she remembered that Clint really was dead.
You kissed her cheek softly, pressing your lips to her wet skin and wishing desperately that you could take any piece of her hurt away.
You prayed that you could keep going. Moving forward was all you had left.
Natasha’s eyes didn’t look up to the ceiling this time, instead, they looked back at you.
It was nothing. But it was also something.
You kissed her cheek again, hope flared up in your chest.
‘I’m going to make breakfast.’ You told her like nothing was wrong. ‘You go pee, I’ll see you in a minute.’
You threw a sweatshirt over your pyjama top and pulled on some leggings. When you looked back at Natasha, her eyes were still on you. You felt your head tilt questioningly. Natasha moved herself to a seated position in the bed and nodded once.
You wanted to smile and you wanted to cry. Today might be better than yesterday.
You headed to the kitchen. You found Wanda already sitting at the table, she’d wrapped herself in the blanket you usually kept draped over the sofa.
You caught the dark circles under her eyes and a fresh wave of worry coursed through you. You didn’t know how much more you could take.
‘I’m making breakfast.’ You didn’t know what else to say. Wanda just nodded wearily, staring at the mug in front of her.
You heard Natasha enter the room behind you while you prepared breakfast over the stove. You heard her shuffling footsteps become more intentional when she realised Wanda was already here.
Then, you heard a half snarl.
Before you had time to fully turn around, you caught the blur of Natasha in the corner of your eye. She flew through the air like she was possessed, but her movements had the careful control that was second nature to her. Natasha pinned Wanda’s arms to her sides. You could see the way her nails dug in, from the harsh red marks already appearing on Wanda’s skin.
Natasha spoke softly, her face already so close to Wanda’s. Nonetheless, her voice travelled.
‘Give me back his shirt or I will kill you.’ She promised quietly.
Your mouth opened in horror as you realised what you’d done. Wanda wasn’t wearing Natasha’s old band t-shirt. It was Clint’s shirt. You had forgotten.
Wanda’s eyes glowed red.
A wave of panic flooded you, a scream died in your throat. You felt useless. Everything was going to get worse. It was your fault.
‘You didn’t even come to his funeral.’ Wanda hissed out with more anger than you’d ever heard from her. ‘Why shouldn’t I have his shirt?.’
You stood still, rooted to your spot in the kitchen.
Natasha dropped her hold of Wanda’s arms like she’d been burned. A horrible moment passed in silence.
‘Clint was my only family.’ Natasha choked out suddenly in a strangled voice. You watched as her breathing stuttered at her own words. She looked more alive and more pained than you’d seen her.
‘Well I lost my family that day too.’ Wanda’s tone was harsh still. You watched her jaw clench as she forced the next words out, like they were the worst poison sitting inside of her.
‘Again.’ She added.
They stared at each other for another moment.
‘Keep the shirt.’ Natasha muttered out, as she moved to sit in the chair next to Wanda’s.
Wanda’s eyes softened with genuine surprise.
‘Thank you.’ She told Natasha.
Natasha didn’t reply. But, her hand reached out abruptly to grab Wanda’s. They exchanged another look. It was more than a truce in their fight, it was shared grief.
A strange mix of bitterness and jealousy rose up in you unexpectedly.
You should have been happy, instead you felt invisible.
‘I need some air.’ You muttered in a low voice that was not your own, avoiding the two sets of eyes that turned to you in surprise.
Before you blinked again, you were out the front door and continuing at pace along the sidewalk. You headed to the park. You just needed five minutes to breathe.
If neither of them felt they had any family left, then you were more alone than you’d realised.
You sat down numbly on the first bench you found. As soon as your hands covered your face, you started to cry. It was longer than five minutes.
You let your phone ring out three times. You knew the heaviness would make you useless at helping Peter through his anxiety of seeing Happy again. You knew you couldn’t stomach hearing Laura ask if Natasha wanted to keep one of Clint’s old bows.
You just kept crying.
When you stood back up from the bench, your legs were stiff. You didn’t check the time on your phone. You couldn’t deal with it just yet, but you knew it must be afternoon already.
The stiffness in your legs didn’t let up as you walked home, instead it felt like it was spreading along your limbs. You focused on burying the hurt again. You wondered if Laura ever went out to cry in the barn, before coming back inside to face the kids. You felt a rush of guilt at the comparison you had made. There was unimaginable grief and then there was this.
You just had to keep moving, everything would be fine.
Both bedroom doors were shut when you reentered the apartment. You repressed a groan at the realisation that they’d both gone back to bed.
You rallied yourself and moved back to the kitchen.
The blackened remains of the cooked breakfast were still in the frying pan, resting on the counter after someone had remembered to remove it from the stove.
You really thought you might cry at the thought of cleaning up everything and trying to make some food all over again.
Then, you remembered the image of Laura sneaking off to cry in the barn. You swallowed the sob in your throat and kept going.
Family or not, they both needed to eat.
You quickly lost yourself in the task, letting the rush of water from the faucet drown out your own thoughts.
You jumped at the sound of the front door closing.
You turned in surprise to see Wanda standing in the doorway. She was wearing a green sweater; it matched ironically with the plaid pyjama bottoms. You felt your brow furrow with confusion at where she could have been.
‘They’re in here.’ Wanda shouted loudly over her shoulder. Her eyes met yours in an unreadable expression. Abruptly, you felt like you’d done something wrong.
You didn’t have time to turn back to the food you were cooking before Natasha appeared in the doorway. Unlike Wanda, Natasha didn’t pause. She headed immediately over to you.
‘Where the Hell have you been?’ Natasha demanded, her eyes assessing you carefully.
The hurt you thought you had settled, roared up again unexpectedly. You bit back a bitter response about needing a moment for yourself.
You closed your eyes for a moment trying to expel the feeling from your system.
‘I’m sorry.’ You began. Your tone was flat, but everything else sounded the right kind of neutral. ‘You both still need to eat something.’ You began to turn back to the stove.
Natasha’s hand caught your sleeve and you froze.
She hadn’t touched you in a long time.
You bit your lip, trying not to cry. Everything felt confusing. You stayed still, unsure what to do next.
Natasha’s arms snaked around your torso then, and you let yourself be pulled in tight to her chest. Suddenly, you didn’t feel alone. You knew you were crying, you could feel the hot tears rolling down your face.
Natasha kissed your forehead and you looked up to see that tears filled her eyes as well.
You felt Wanda’s hands touch your shoulders gently as she lingered for a moment, before moving past you to the stove.
‘Go sit down.’ She told you. ‘You need to eat as well.’
Natasha led you across the room then, you followed dumbly. She sat down on the sofa first and her eyes looked expectantly up at you.
Suddenly, a new wave of anxiety rushed through you. You stilled as the panic filled up your chest. You didn’t know how to do anything but try and keep everyone moving forward. You didn’t know what would happen if you let yourself feel the grief too.
‘I’m so sorry.’ You mumbled, feeling a choking kind of sob rise up inside you.
Natasha took your hands in her hers. With a tug she pulled you close to her, until you were sitting on her lap.
Your head rested against her chest and you could hear her heartbeat. Your mind filled with the rhythm of it. All the guilt for Clint and all the relief for Natasha flooded through you.
You heard your own uncontrolled sobs as an unspeakable pain hit your chest.
Natasha’s head rested on top of yours, and she took your hand in hers. Her thumb rubbed over the engagement ring on your finger.
‘You never have to apologise to your family.’ She murmured as she started to stroke your hair.
Even as the worst feelings coursed through you, you felt something else lighten.
Moving forward was easier when you walked together.
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Oh, Baby | Chapter One | P.P
disclaimer: sexual commentary/innuendos. mature audience advised. you can find the series: here
C H A P T E R 1 : D E S T I N E D
The beginning of the school year started about a month after I came back home. It was hectic, trying to get new supplies and putting together my assignments due the first day while being a participant in the Hartford Editorial Co. internship program.
My first day was the week before school started which was nice, considering I had time to get a feel for what exactly I needed to do. Being the youngest intern meant I needed to prove I had every right to be there just as much as the older teens. It also meant I was the runt of the group who had to deal with some of the less fun things-coffee runs, taking calls and messages, or just running around with paperwork that needed to be transferred to other editors and writers.
The older kids were nicer than I first intended. They tried to help me as much as they could, but were determined to get me to know my place. I respected that, to be honest. I couldn’t just waltz in and attempt to act like I was better than them when they had plenty of experience than me.
“Try to relax, sweetheart. You’re just so young to be piling in on this kind of stress. You’re only fifteen!” My mother exclaimed, pouring me my cup of coffee as I wrote down notes from the island counter of our kitchen.
“Sixteen,” I corrected.
She paused. “Hm?”
“I’ll be sixteen in, like, two months.”
The woman chuckled at that. “You’re fifteen right now. Besides, you could be thirty years old and I’d tell you the same. We weren’t meant to endure this kind of stress.”
I huffed at her words, writing quickly as I noticed the time.
“Maybe you should calm it on the coffee.”
That was enough to get my full attention.
“Mom!” I whined, reaching for my cup from her as she taunted me with it.
“You’re too young to be drinking all this caffeine!”
“It’s all dads fault!”
As if on cue, my father walked into the room with a dumbfounded expression.
“What’s all dads fault?”
My mom cackled at his face, placing down my mug on the counter behind her. “Our daughter’s caffeine addiction.”
“Ah,” he nodded. “I confess.”
“Good, I’ll be sure to include that confession in my therapy appointment at rehab.” I stood from my seat, lunging behind my mother to retrieve my liquid courage.
She hadn’t bothered to fight me for it, instead taking a bite of her slightly burned toast. “The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. I’m proud.”
I only shrugged, swiveling around my father as he tried to make his own cup of coffee. I sipped my warm beverage and hurried along the kitchen by gathering my piles of paper into my folders and backpack. My fingers piled up my hair above my head, tying a band around it all. The time was ticking and I was praying I wouldn’t be late my first day of school.
“Gotta go, see you tonight!” I called out to my parents as I threw my bag across my shoulders. My sneakers squeaked against the tiled floor of the kitchen as I rushed to kiss their cheeks goodbye.
“Be safe!” My mom called back.
My dad tried to yell with a mouth full of eggs. “Love you!”
As soon as I rushed into the elevators, I felt slightly light headed. I shook it off, though, noting that it may have been time to start being more active again.
When I made it outside, I was met by my loving boyfriend. He was leaning against the railing with his arms crossed over his chest. He was wearing his brown sweater with a blue flannel underneath. It suited him well.
The early September air was slightly chilly, probably the reason for his outfit, but that was normal for the city.
I lurched forward to drown Peter in a kiss, my arms flinging around his shoulders to steady myself. He laughed against my lips and kept me still against his chest.
Before I could reply, I heard mock kissing noises and quite prominent gag sounds. I looked over his shoulder to scold our close friends and their childish behavior.
“Very funny, you two.”
“Thank you, we try.” MJ smiled sarcastically. Immediately I noticed her curly hair pinned up in a bun today.
I rolled my eyes but looked back over to my boyfriend to properly greet him. “Good morning, sunshine.”
He grinned. “Ready for our first day?”
“As best as I could be! You?”
“I hope so.” He chuckled once before intertwining our fingers together.
“What about you, two? Did you finish the summer reading?”
Ned snorted. “Duh. This semester, though, I’m focusing on my engineer tech class. How can I be the chair guy for Spider-man when there’s still so much for me to learn!”
“I believe in you, buddy!”
The boy looked at my boyfriend fondly with a hand over his heart.
I rolled my eyes at their antics, but turned to MJ on my side. “How about you, Missy?”
“I already read all the books that were given to us for options, so I picked randomly. It was an easy A.”
My free hand smacked against her palm in a celebratory moment, smiling proudly. “That’s my girl.”
She only smirked before her eyes widened in realization. “Oh, hey, how’s your internship going?”
“Yeah! I heard you’re the youngest one?” Ned asked next.
I sighed, swinging Peter’s and I’s arms together. “It’s okay, but they’re pretty keen on grilling me anytime they get. Perks, I guess.”
Peter pulled me under his arm, holding me close to his side in a swift movement. “Aw, honey, I’m sorry. Anyway I could help?”
“Nah, Pete. It’s just how it is for now.”
“What the hell were you even gonna do?” MJ asked my boyfriend. Her scrunched up eyebrows judged him harshly, as usual. “Go down there and scold them? Tch.”
Ned’s laughter interrupted him. “‘Hey, leave my girlfriend alone!’”
Peter’s face was void as our friends grilled him and I giggled softly. He seemed to have notice my betrayal quite quickly and he pouted at me.
“Babe!” He whined. “Stick up for me!”
I couldn’t help to snort at his tone. But, I cleared my throat anyway and scolded my friends. “Hey, leave my boyfriend alone!”
MJ bursted into laughter at my joke as Ned cracked up harder. I couldn’t not join in.
“Very funny, ha ha.” Peter sighed.
The hallways were cramped as new freshman made their way in, searching for their assigned classes in a frenzy. They pushed and shoved through people, quite impatient to make it to class in time.
When one of them shoved me by the shoulder to get by, I grunted.
“Oh, God, were we this bad?” Ned asks as he watched the scene before us.
“I hope to God not, ‘cause this is bullshit.”
I agreed with MJ silently, tightening my hold on Peter’s hand.
“We have the same first period, right?”
When I nodded, he pulled me by the arm to lead me away. I turned back around to wave at our friends quickly, though.
“Good luck, see you guys at lunch! Text me!”
When Peter and I miraculously made it through the crowd, we found seats in the back. He held my hand to his chest as he asked about my morning.
“You’re mom is right.”
I scrunched up my nose. “Ugh, don’t say that.”
He rolled his eyes as I ended up smiling. “But she is and you know it. You gotta take a load off.”
My arms swiveled around his neck and I nudged my nose against his jawline. I could feel him tense, but I kept my body close to his anyways.
“You can help me destress, right?”
He laughed nervously, rubbing my sides to slowly push me off. “Definitely, but how about after school and not in front of our peers?”
It was my turn to roll my eyes. “As if I was even implying that, Parker. Such a perv.”
His eyes nearly bulged out of his skull. “What?! You’re the one— You—”
I shut him up easily with a kiss.
“You’ve been so mean to me today.” He was pouting now, fingers tightening around my waist.
My eyelashes fluttered at him innocently. “Me? Never.”
“Oh, sure!” He laughed, kissing my forehead now. “Do you have a new body soap?”
“Hm? No, why?”
He shrugged, pushing a piece of my hair behind my ear as he leaned into my neck. His lashes tickled my skin and I giggled, trying to pull away from his tightening grip. I could tell it wasn’t gonna happen, though, as he kept me close to his chest.
“You smell so good. I can’t tell what the flavor of the scent is, though.”
My head leaned back a bit more as he decorated my neck with butterfly kisses. “Pete! Stop, it tickles!”
He did as told with a smile. “Is it a flower? Or maybe a fruit of some sorts?”
I rose an eyebrow. “No, it’s just vanilla. The same one as it always has been.”
“Really? You sure?”
“Yes,” I snorted. “I think I know what I’m washing myself with.”
“I’m just— I don’t know. If I could, I’d spend the class period just smelling you!” He went to tickle my sides as I laughed, hitting at his chest.
“Okay, okay!” I squealed. “Let’s sit, sweetheart.”
By the time we got to lunch, I was exhausted. My arms were holding so many textbooks with countless notes on everything I needed to know about the class and lessons we’d be learning. But, I felt prepared.
“I got you,” A voice murmured from above me and swooped up the mountain of stuff I had.
I looked up at my savior and smiled gratefully. “Thank you.”
Peter kissed my forehead again, leading me towards our seats with an arm around my waist. “How’re your classes?”
When we sat, I waved at our friends. “They’re pretty interesting. A lil complicated, but nothing I can’t handle.”
“You look tired,” MJ muttered as she chomped on her fries.
“MJ,” Peter frowned before I could say anything. He glanced over at me before nodding. “Oh, yeah, she’s right.”
Ned spoke up with a cheerful tone. “I think you look great, Y/N!”
I felt myself awe at his compliment. “Thank you, Ned.”
We chatted amongst ourselves for a couple of more minutes, until I smelled something incredibly nauseating. I held my stomach as it churned.
“What the hell is that?” I mumbled.
“Hm? What?” Peter asked as he munched on his turkey and Swiss sandwich that I was sure had tomatoes, too.
“Don’t you smell that?” I whispered, not trusting myself to speak louder.
He looked around the cafeteria, his eyes concentrated to find the culprit.
MJ eyed me suspiciously as she looked around as well.
“The cafeteria is serving sloppy joes,” Ned shrugged.
I almost gagged at his words. “God! Gross! What did they put in it this year? Rancid meat?”
“It smells better than the slop they served last year.”
I glared at my boyfriend and his words, but sighed as the back of my throat practically burned with bile. “I feel sick. Maybe I’ll just go to the library.”
“We’ll go, too!” Peter exclaimed as he scrambled up from his seat.
“No, you guys don’t have—”
Ned smiled, shrugging. He was even quick to sit up with his lunch consisting of a ham and cheese sandwich that I swear I could smell, too. “We don’t mind, Y/N. I wanna check out the new code section, anyways.”
“Yes, loser, let’s go.” MJ rolled her eyes before grabbing her bag of McDonald’s.
I huffed, but we all gathered the rest of our things to head on out. When we finally reached the library and that detesting smell was finally gone, I sighed happily.
“That was disgusting. You guys weren’t bothered by it?” I asked as I sipped my water.
“No,” Peter chuckled. “Maybe you’re just traumatized from that time Phil Miller pu—”
I gagged. “Shut up!”
“Oh, my God!” MJ laughed, her hands slamming against the table. “I so remember that. It got all over the place!”
My head ached from the momentary visual. I kept my eyes shut as I tried to fight off the queasy feeling.
“Guys,” Ned warned.
I only shook my head, letting him know I was fine for now. “Ugh, I hate that kid.”
“Well, you have a reason to.” MJ snickered, chewing on her nuggets as she reminisced.
“Anyways,” I sighed. “How’re your classes?”
“I actually like my teacher from fourth period. Mr Abbott’s that new chem teacher.”
Peter perked up at that. “Y/N and I have him at the end of day.”
“He’s okay,” MJ shrugged. “Just another male teacher who probably gets paid more than Mel who’s been here for ten years teaching art.”
I nodded at that. “Gotta point there.”
We looked over at one another and spoke in unison. “Capitalism.”
Ned sighed. “You’re probably right. That’s too bad, I like Mel. She used to bring us snacks last year.”
“Ooh, I loved those truffles she brought from France that one time she visited that guy she met over the internet!” Peter exclaimed, his eyes wide in adoration.
“Wasn’t his name Gabriel or something?” I asked as I took a bite from my apple.
MJ shook her head. “I thought Gabriel was the guy from Italy?”
“The guy from Italy was Giovanni. Gabriel was the French guy.”
“Whatever happened to that Toni dude from Italy?”
“She left him for Finn in Germany.”
I pursed my lips. “Why does she still live here if all the guys she goes for are overseas?”
“Something about the love she has for New York. I, on the other hand, would love to head over to Cali. They’re way ahead in the tech world over there.”
Peter shrugged. “I think I’d be okay living here forever. Aunt May and I only have each other.”
My hand stretched outwards to clasp around his. “And me.”
He smiled warmly at that. “And you.”
MJ sighed, her hand scribbling doodles across her new notebook. “I think I’d love to live in the UK or maybe France or Italy, too. Think about the architecture and art.”
“I heard France hates Americans,” Ned pointed out.
That caused her to scowl. “Then we’ll get along perfectly.”
“How about you?” Peter asked me gently. “Do you ever dream about another place to live?”
I shook my head once. “I’m okay with the vacations to other places. This is my home.”
We shared a smile again, but continued the rest of our lunch talking about the teachers we still had to meet. I was slightly nervous when it was time to part again, but Peter reassured me that time would only fly by until the end of the day. I don’t know why I felt so attached to him today, considering I felt excited the night before to see the curriculums.
Watching him walk away almost made me tear up, but I snapped myself out of it with a pinch.
Like I assumed, it went by easily. I was in love with the syllabus in almost all of my classes, excited to get to learn about the multiple lessons. Although Chemistry wasn’t always my strong suit and I always needed Peter to help me study more, I was excited to see such an enthusiastic teacher. Mr Abbott was a good addition to the staff.
“I’m exhausted!” Peter yawned as we walked hand in hand outdoors. He was holding my extra set of notebooks in his other hand like the gentleman he was.
I was extremely tired, too. It felt like I was ready to collapse at any moment. My eyelids had even been a big droopy.
“Let’s take a nap when we head over to your place?” I could feel the excitement running through me at the idea of his comforter.
He gave me his boyish smile that I adored so much it ached my throbbing heart. “Yes, please.”
The walk wasn’t too long as he made sure to pull me when I started to fall behind. When my head finally hit the pillow, my eyes shut for the next couple of hours. It felt like I had a full nights rest by the time I woke up, I felt slightly energetic. I moved to sit up, but was jolted back into a warm body.
“Pete,” I whined, struggling to move. His body heat started to become almost suffocating. “I need to pee.”
He grunted, but moved his arm easily.
I sighed gratefully and hurried over to the bathroom across the hall. After finishing my business, I started to make my way back to Peter’s room. While I stood underneath his doorway, I admired the way his body twisted with his duvet. His bare torso was incredibly defined as he moved around, rubbing his eyes tiredly.
Sometimes I was grateful towards that spider.
I leaned against the wall as he woke up, blinking tiredly at the ceiling.
“You’re a creep,” his hoarse voice called out. “A cute creep, though.”
The smile on my face widened as he looked over at me. “I can’t help it. You just look good, baby.”
His eyebrows lifted at the nickname I used solely for certain activities. I watched the way his eyes trailed down my frame that was only dressed in one of his t-shirts. It barely reached mid thigh, but there was nothing he hadn’t seen before.
“Aunt May isn’t home early?” he asked slowly.
“I could’ve sworn I heard someone else. . .”
I shook my head slowly as I smirked. “Just us.”
His eyes glazed over immediately. He sat up with his forearms and nodded me over. “C’mere.”
That made me smile excitedly and I hurried on over.
When our festivities ended and we were out of breath, his arm held me close to him again. I was trying to relax my racing heart, but being so close to him made it difficult. His nose nudged against my neck, inhaling me deeply.
“God, how do you still smell so good after breaking a sweat?” he asked as his lips attacked my skin.
I sighed happily as he wrapped me in his arms. “I dunno, but thank you greatly.”
“No, thank you.”
I giggled at his flirtatious tone, kissing him deeply. “I gotta get ready.”
“Sweetheart, my parents wanted me home for dinner.”
He grumbled grumpily and held me tightly for a long moment. “I can’t wait until you don’t have to go. You’ll just stay here and let me love you all night.”
That idea almost brought me to tears. I clung to him, soaking in our moment.
“I love you, Peter.”
I felt him kiss my forehead softly. “And I love you.”
Eventually we got up to dress ourselves. When I wore the clothes I left my house in, I was ready to get going.
“Oh! My parents asked you for dinner next Saturday since my grandmother is coming. You think you could take a break, Spidey?”
He chuckled. “Yes, I’ll make time for you anytime.”
I rose an eyebrow at that. We both knew he wasn’t the most reliable nowadays. Not that I blamed him all the time, but it would be nice to count on my boyfriend when need be.
“Okay, but I’ll be there this time!”
My arms crossed over my chest.
His head fell in defeat. “I’ll try to be there. Let them know that Mr Stark has this important competition for the interns and that I’ll just die if I don’t win.”
“Not a bad lie.” I nodded my head in recognition.
“I hate to do it, but you know I have to.”
“I know, Pete.”
We kept our hands intertwined as we walked over to my apartment building. It was only about two blocks over, which made it easy to see one another.
When I kissed him goodnight, I made my way up the elevators and inside to be greeted by my father who was concentrated on getting something connected to the T.V.
“Hey, Dad.” I called out to him as I carried my bag to the island.
“Hey, Bunny! Come check out what I’m doin’.”
I chuckled, but headed over to him with my arms over my chest. “What’s up?”
“These are your baby videos! Chrissy, come here!”
My mom hurried into the room with her hair up in a ponytail and an avocado mask smeared around her face. Her eyes were wide as she stared at the screen.
“It’s Miles and Y/N.”
“Little people versions, but yeah.” I nodded as I inspected the scene unfolding in the video.
Her hands clasped over her heart in awe. “Look how small my babies were!”
My dad smiled fondly at her. “Weren’t they adorable?”
“Oh, you know what I mean, Bunny.”
I mumbled underneath my breath, but sat on the couch as I watched the videos. My mother got close next to me, her eyes watering as she watched the clips. My dad sat on the other side of me, his arm over my shoulders.
“I can’t wait to see my other baby. Do you know when he’s coming home?” My mom sniffled at me.
“Mom, he just left for college two weeks ago.”
“That’s such a long time!” She wailed.
I stifled a laugh as her mask began to slip down her face. My dad flicked the back of my head before telling her to wash up.
When she left, he and I giggled together.
We turned our attention back to the TV and my dad made a few comments as he explained where we were. He then switched out the tape with another one he dated back to the year I was born. By the time it was playing, my mom made back it back.
She gasped excitedly. “Oh, Y/N, look! This is the day I took the pregnancy test! We adopted Miles only a month before and we were still trying to transition him as smoothly as possible, but I knew something was going on. Isn’t the universe crazy, John?”
“What do you mean you knew something was going on?” I asked her as I watched her past self show the camera two lines on her test. My stomach churned just watching her cry happy tears in the video.
“Oh, I was so tired all the time and nauseous! For a month, I could hardly stand the smell of some things. It was awful. Obviously, I missed my period, but I was always a bit off schedule. Babe, remember my meat phase?”
While her and my father talked about their infertility issues, I let my mother’s previous words sink in. It was like everything had been happening in slow motion as my parents laughed together and the sound of the TV flooded the background in a blurred noise. I stood up shakily, whispering that I needed to use the bathroom.
When I shut the bathroom door behind me, my hands pulled out my phone to check the date. I couldn’t even get my hands to stop shaking.
“Fuck,” I hissed.
I was two and a half weeks late.
Usually I’d be a week or a few days behind, but never this long. I couldn’t blame my irregular schedule this time. Especially since I knew exactly what mistake I made just a month ago. The nervousness I could feel in my stomach was enough to get me to throw up, coughing up any remains into the toilet as tears streamed down my face.
After I finished, the tears only continued.
I choked on my silent sobs as I scrambled to look for a specific name in my phone. When she picked up on the second ring, her voice called out from the speaker.
“Y/N? What’s wrong?”
My long silence caused her to repeat herself. When I found the courage to speak, I whispered into the mic.
“MJ, I need your help.”
t a g l i s t : @lharrietg @peterbparkersbae @groovymoviesatpositivity
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🍬 uh oh, not again
The entire room is silent, save for Bucky's occasional tapping on the hardwood conference table and Tony's expensive loafers clicking against the smooth floor as he paces back and forth.
Patience wearing thin, Steve lets out a sigh. "They're late, again."
"Give them a few minutes, they'll be here," Natasha responds with humor.
As if on cue, you come bursting through the doors, the glass slamming harshly against the wall as Natasha lets out a chuckle, quietly adding, "See? What'd I tell you."
"Kid!" Tony interrupts Natasha with a shout. "Where have you been?"
"I know, I know, I'm sorry. There was traffic on the stair well, but I ran up here as fast as I—"
"We can talk about this after, can we get this meeting started, please?" Steve can't help but snap.
"Grouchy today, aren't you, old man?" Natasha pokes at him, only for him to wave her off with a roll of his eyes.
"Star Spangled Banner is right," Tony starts, turning to the large presentation board as you take a seat. "Alright, let's go. Rodney, mission rep—"
"Uh oh," Bruce looks around the room. "Hold on. Where's the other kid?"
Collective groans could be heard around the room before all eyes are on you.
At the sight of your failed attempt at hiding your smirk accompanied by the shrug of your shoulders as you respond, "I don't know," the groans continue once more.
"Y/n, not again!" Sam complains.
"Kid, what did you do to Peter this time—" Tony begins to chastise.
"I'm here! I'm here!" Peter's strained voice could be heard as he slams the door in the same manner you did moments before. Hands on his knees, Peter's harsh pants fill the room as everyone looks to you with narrowed eyes.
"Peter!" you feign worry, gasping at the sight of him. "What happened to you?"
Peter points an accusatory finger towards you, giving you the deadliest glare he could muster as he yells, "She pushed me down three flights of stairs!"
"You snitch!" you stand up from your seat, arms crossed as you yell at Peter.
"Oh, well, excuse me for not covering your ass after you attacked me!" Peter retorts sarcastically.
"Attacked is such a strong word, you drama queen."
"Alright, alright, break it up—" Steve begins.
"You know what, Tony, this is kind of your fault," Sam muses.
"Excuse me?" Tony gasps.
"The elevators been broken for over a week now, they probably wouldn't have ran into each other on the stairs if—"
"No, no, no. Look at these kids, they're a mess, they would've found some way—" Tony's voice overlaps Sam.
"Well honestly, maybe if Peter wasn't so obnoxious in class today, I wouldn't have felt the need—" you begin to defend your actions.
"Me? Annoying? You're just mad I scored higher on the math test—" Now Peter's voice counters yours.
The entire conference room erupts into a series of shouts, several voices talking over others as Bruce agrees with Sam, commenting on the inconvenience, Rodney coming to the defense of Tony, claiming that the two of you were always like this, and you and Peter ignoring it all, continuing to go at it.
Natasha turns her chair to face Bucky. "Hey, how are you doing?" she starts casual conversation.
Bucky shrugs, "Eh, same old. Therapy's been good."
"Yeah?" Natasha smiles.
The two continue to converse with each other in low voices, immune to the absolute mayhem occurring in front of them.
In the midst of the complete chaos is Steve, head tucked into his hands as he shakes his head back and forth. "Every single weekly meeting, this happens. Every time..."
148 notes · View notes
Hello, I am back, with an unofficial entry into the lovely @msmarvelwrites 2k Challenge. This is heavily inspired by her challenge but, but I am also aware I am clogging up her mentions ;)
Speak now Pairs:
Steve x Reader, with brief mentions of Bucky x Reader and Historical Wanda x Reader cause its Pride Month :)
Words, around 6k.
Themes, suggestions of smut so 18+, lots of swearing, angst and heartbreak and some fluff.
Baby, I didn't say my vows
So glad you were around
When they said speak now
You looked in the mirror and took a deep breath. Today was the day you had been dreading for the last 8 months. Steve Rogers and Sharon Carter’s Wedding. Ignoring the pit in your stomach you smoothed your lilac chiffon dress down once more, before checking your make-up and French-braid updo one last time. You felt sick oh how could he be marrying her? Had you two genuinely meant that little to each other meaning it was that easy for him to marry her?
You felt the tears threatening to spring from your eyes and pinched your nose. The limo was almost here, and you didn’t have enough time to re-do your make up if you started crying now. Plus, you knew deep down if you started crying, you’d never make it to the wedding. As one of Steve's closest friends you knew you had to suck it up and be there at his big day.
Originally, he had tried to convince you to take up Sharon’s half-assed offer to be in her bridal party. You would much rather stick needles in your eyes. So, you apologised to Steve and Sharon (not that she cared or even listened) advising how you didn’t have the time free to commit to such a big thing. Steve had originally been upset looking crestfallen, his baby blue eyes pleading with you. You gave him a small smile before assuring him you would still be there for the wedding.
“Don’t worry about it Steve. I’ll be there on the big day. Would never dream of missing it, especially the opportunity to see Sam and Bucky in suits” you said ruefully. Steve didn’t skip over the fact you had called him Steve. You had always called him Stevie. Well. Up until he had announced his engagement to Sharon.
“Hey Dollface”, Bucky said kissing you on the cheek before opening the door to the car.
“Hey Buck, Hey Sam, you two look delicious,” you said shooting them a playful wink. Sam mumbled a small thanks avoiding eye contact with you. Bucky however, took this an opportunity to move closer to you. His hand resting on your thigh. The four of you had been friends since college. That’s why you were riding in the limo with them to the church earlier than most.
The four of you had formed a strong friendship back then. Along with Wanda and Pietro Maximoff and Natasha Romanoff. Bucky and Steve had been childhood friends and you had met Sam at Freshman orientation where he had almost knocked you unconscious during his haste to catch a football.
You and Bucky had a complex history. He had liked you from the moment he had met you, however, you weren’t interested in him. To be fair, you hadn’t been romantically interested in any of the boys, instead, your interest had been caught by one of the red-haired females you were sharing off-campus accommodation with. It didn’t stop Bucky from trying to get you into his bed all through your freshman year though. He had eventually given up in the summer and had never brought it up again after realising his best pal Steve had a thing for you too.
“So, what do you say Y/N, after the wedding, you come back to my hotel and let me make you feel real fucking good again, just like I did all those months back”, Bucky whispered. His hot breath tickling your neck. You instantly felt yourself flush at the memory. Straightening up you removed Bucky’s hand.
“Come on James, I told you. It was a one-time thing, never gonna happen again. The only hotel room I will be ending up in is mine”, you said. Determination filling your features.
From across the limo Sam snickered whilst Bucky sulked.
“Sure Y/N we all know who’s hotel room you’re gonna end up in and it isn’t anyone in this limo’s” Sam smirked. You instantly felt yourself heat up with embarrassment at Sam’s call out. He was right though. Anytime things got rough for either of you, you and your college girlfriend Wanda always found a way into each other’s beds. You picked at bottom of your knee-length dress before sighing.
“Actually, I’m fairly certain she and Vision are in a good place at the moment, and she is bringing him as her date. You examined your fresh manicure avoiding their eye’s.
After a quiet 15-minute ride the three of you arrived at the church. Bucky had been whispering sweet nothings in your ear the entire ride. Sam had ignored you up until you had gotten out the limo. Grabbing you by the elbow he pulled you to one side telling Bucky to go on in.
“Y’know Y/N I always thought it would be you up there with him today,” Sam said sympathy filling his eyes.
“I know this day is hard for you. So just know after the wedding if you want to get out of here, I have your back and will cover for you”, Sam continued. His brown eyes boring into you. You felt that familiar lump form in your throat and instead of addressing it you threw your arms around Sam and buried your face in his chest.
“Thank you” you mumbled. You and Sam were great friends, but Sam very rarely showed you physical affection. However, at that moment he knew that the hug was grounding you, so he rested his chin on the top of your head squeezing you tight. Running his hands up and down your back in a reassuring measure.
You stayed like that for about 2 minutes, a few loose tears escaping, that was when you heard Steve and Bucky’s laughter coming down the hallway towards the churches front garden, where you were stood in an embrace with Sam. You stiffened before withdrawing from Sam’s embrace. You shot him a small sad smile, before shaking your head and running off before Steve had a chance to talk to you.
You knew he would tell you how much it meant to him that you were there. How he was so happy that despite all your history, how you had once again shown up for him. You just couldn’t face him. You had gone out of your way to avoid being alone with him for the past eight months.
“Hey, Where’s Y/N rushing off too”? You heard Steve ask as you rushed off the nearby meadow.
Bucky and Sam were obviously a part of Steve's wedding party. Because of this, they were needed at the small church where the wedding was taking place an hour before guests were due to arrive. Steve had insisted on you riding to the church with Sam and Steve in the limo he was paying for. He refused to hear of you spending money on a cab to attend the big day. Especially not when there was plenty of room and you were on the way to the church. Eventually, you had agreed after Steve had worn you down. The goofy grin he had given you had simultaneously made your heart do a somersault and rip further in half.
It was warm summers day in Massachusetts and the little church really was the perfect venue. Well to you, and it definitely was for Steve but you knew that social standing meant more to Sharon, she had wanted the big fancy private venue which seated 500 plus guests in NYC as opposed to the quaint little church with a max capacity of 50.
The long grass tickled your ankles as you entered the meadow, your eyes were instantly drawn to the big oak tree with a rickety wooden swing hanging down. You had at least 40 minutes before you would need to head in. The wedding was in an hour, but you weren’t looking forward to the awkward encounter with Wanda that was waiting for you. The sun was beginning to blaze, and it was even midday. Deciding you had enough time; you undid your strappy beige sandals and ran towards the swing.
You sat on the rough wood, slightly warm from the heatwave MA was experiencing, the rope had frayed and aged but you didn’t care, the sun was fighting its way through the canopy of thick green leaves. You let out a deep breath before kicking your feet along the dried dirt. You leant your head back and closed your eyes, shutting the world out deciding to live in these tranquil moments.
You and Steve had been dancing around the sexual tension between the pair of you for the last 3 years. Neither one of you ever daring to make a move. Mostly because you and Wanda were either constantly fighting or fucking. Sometimes both. Okay, mostly doing both. Steve wasn’t much better, every few months he had a new girlfriend and then there were countless one night stands in between. However, it was your final year of college you and Wanda had decided to call it quits for a good 5 months ago.
You hadn’t planned on getting this drunk, originally Sam and Nat were coming over to your apartment for some drinks to check out your new place. But then Sam had asked to bring this girl he was dating Jane, and Steve had heard from Nat about the get-together, pleading with you the be included.
So that was how you had ended up drunk as a skunk belting out cheesy pop hits on your old PlayStation sing star. Natasha had left long ago, claiming she had a paper to write, Sam and Jane were snuggled closely on the small sofa.
“Come on Y/N sing You’re the one I want with me,” Steve said trying to pull you up from the floor. You whined and wriggled your wrist free-falling back on the cold laminate floor. The sudden movement made Steve lose balance as his feet had been on your toes.
“Stevie, now look what you did” you giggled as the blond hottie fell on the floor opposite you.
“This never would have happened if you’d just agreed to sing with me Puppy” Steve replied pouting. Puppy. He called you that claiming you had the biggest puppy dog eyes and energy of a 6-month Puppy all the time.
“I told you, I don’t sing duets anymore jerkwad,” you said shuffling away from the blonde. Steve decided that he didn’t like this much and pouted. You let out a small involuntary giggle. This only seemed to upset Steve more, deepening his pout and raising his eyebrows, he let out an exasperated sigh.
The mixture of Steve’s adorable pout, the tension between you and the alcohol was too much and with that, you broke out into a fit of giggles rolling about on the floor. Your T-shirt etched up as you moved to try to quieten your giggles, showing flashes of your skin to Steve. Your giggles were intoxicating, mixed with the wafts of your favourite body spray, the way you screwed your eyes up when you laughed, and with the way your shirt was etching higher and higher, Something in Steve snapped.
In one swift movement he caught your wrists as you rolled over so you were on your back, pinning them above your head with one hand, his other holding your left leg in a bent position, Steve was on top of you using your leg to prop himself up so he wasn’t crushing you. Your eyes caught Steve’s baby blue eyes. You swallowed, unable to break the eye contact with Steve.
“Stevie”, you whispered uncertainly. With that, the daze Steve was in broke and he crushed his lips to yours. He tasted like beer mixed with the fruity makeshift cocktails you’d made when the beer ran out, his lips were slightly chapped.
His kiss started of hungry and frantic, you returned the kiss, drinking in all the sensations. The pressure on your wrists loosening as the kiss melted into a softer, gentler, more loving kiss. After a few moments, the kiss stopped and Steve drew back, You didn’t move, just as stunned as him.
You could see the blush slowly creeping over Steve's face, so you leant in, closing the small distance as Steve's face still awkwardly hovered inches above yours.
“I think we should kick Sam and Jane out” you whispered shooting him a sly smirk. Steve's blush deepened. He nodded his head and slowly drew back. Once standing he offered his hand to yours to help you up.
After Sam and Jane left you and Steve spent the entire night fucking each other senseless. It was the start of your 4-year relationship. You and Steve were practically inseparable for the rest of your time at college. You already were before that night, but after the kiss and the events that followed you two became insatiable for one another.
You were so caught up in your flashback that you didn’t hear Bucky calling your name.
“Earth to Y/N,” he said waving his hand frantically in front of your face. You were so taken by surprise you couldn’t help but let out a small shriek, to which both you and Bucky burst out laughing.
“Jesus H Christ, Bucky! You almost gave me a heart attack”. You said shooting him a toothy grin.
“Sorry Y/N, Steve sent me out here to look for you, he just missed you earlier, said he wants to speak to you and get a photo of the four of us,” Bucky said. You felt your heart squeeze, you couldn’t do it, you couldn’t talk to him before the ceremony, you just didn’t trust yourself. You didn’t realise it but you had started crying. Bucky caught it before you did. Pulling you up from the swing he enveloped you into a huge hug.
“Hey, hey, it's okay. Bucky’s got you. Don’t worry I’ll make up some lame excuse about you fixing your hair or makeup or something, don’t worry doll. Sam and I are gonna get you through this day and once the weddings done, we are going to get super drunk. It may be an open bar, but Sharon’s Daddy is paying for it”, Bucky said rubbing soothing circles on your back. Unable to speak or else the damn would completely burst you simply just nodded into Bucky’s chest.
Bucky stayed hugging you for about 5 minutes before heading back off into the church, you both knew that if Bucky stayed around too much longer, Sam or more likely, Steve would come looking for you both. As you watched Bucky jog off your phone buzzed.
Hey Babe, can’t wait to see you. Visions looking forward to it too, according to his sat Nav we should be arriving in 10 minutes. See you soon! Xx
P.S I hope you’re wearing something sexy for me 😉– Wanda x
Of course it was Wanda, she didn’t need to sign of her text with her name. You still had each other’s telephone numbers. You dropped yourself onto the floor, not caring about the dried dirt around the tree. You knew this was going to mark your dress but with Wanda acting up now, you were well past the point of giving a flying fuck.
You leant your head back on the tree before uttering out a string of expletives. Attending your ex-boyfriend’s wedding was hard enough without your college girlfriend attending too. Wanda was happy (mostly) with Henry aka Vision (god what a pompous nickname). However, that never seemed to stop Wanda and you falling back into each other’s beds. Or Her sending texts like this whenever a group of you got together.
“Steve, look at me, please. Say something. This isn’t something I’m choosing to do lightly”, you pleaded for Steve to look at you. Your Grandma in England was sick, she had been given a year, two max to live. Your mum hadn’t been around much for you growing up and your Grandma had practically raised you with her Son (your dad), you had chosen to go back to England to be closer to her during her final year.
“Stevie, please baby. This has nothing to do with you, or me, or us. It’s just the woman practically raised me and I want to be there for her. It will be a year, two max. You can always come visit, I’ll be over to visit, We can make this work. Just please say you want it to work”, you were practically begging by this point. Tears were falling down your cheeks and the man who held your heart in his hands and had the power to stop all the pain stood there at the opposite end of your shared apartment. With his back to you.
“What do you want me to say Y/N?!” Steve's voice came out in an accusing whisper. He still made no motions to turn to face you.
“Of course you should be there for her during her final moments. But a year, maybe two? We have a life here, an apartment. I have friends here, Sharon, Sam, Bucky, and Thor. Hell, Nick even said I might even be up for a promotion in a month or two.”
You didn’t miss the fact that Sharon who had been eyeing up Steve since joining Fury’s Law firm 8 months ago was suddenly included in that list of friends. Steve was oblivious. But he wasn’t that oblivious. He knew mentioning her would hurt you. And he was right it did.
“You know what Stevie, I get that. That’s why I’m not asking you to come with me for the whole time, I’m just asking you to come over for two weeks whilst I get settled and then to do the long-distance thing for a while. But if your Friends and possible promotion are that important to you, Then forget it”. You grabbed your phone, the overnight bag you had packed and stormed out of the apartment.
You waited in the rain for 15 minutes, wishing for Steve to chase after you. He never did. So, you called Wanda and asked if she would mind lending you her sofa for the night. You had booked two tickets for a 6 am flight, believing that your precious Stevie would of course come with you to visit your family during this difficult time.
Spoiler alert, Steve didn’t show at the airport the next morning, he also spent the next 3 days avoiding your calls.
Eventually, Steve did apologise. But by then the cracks had formed and the damage had been done, after 5 months you called it quits. 4 Months Later Steve was dating Sharon Carter. You arranged with Wanda and Sam to mail back your key and have your belongings collected. Sam had offered to store them at his apartment in his spare room.
Your phone buzzing beside you pulled you from your flashback.
“Natasha! No, I am here, I’ll meet you out the front of the church in a few moments.” You said before hanging up the phone.
You stood, steadying yourself against the big oak tree before slipping your sandals back on one by one. You checked your reflection using the screen of your phone. Dusted the back of your dress down and plastered that well-known smile on your face before heading back over to the church.
As you approached you spotted the two familiar redheads, Natasha’s a deep red which blazed in the sun, whilst Wanda’s was a lighter shade which almost reflected the sun off of it. Also amongst the group of familiar faces were Pietro and Carol from college. Thor one of Steve's colleagues you liked him, his brother Loki who looked like he was about to melt in the sun, and of course the elusive but well renowned Nick Fury.
These weren’t the only familiar faces in the crowd. Sharon was one of the top socialites off New York, Reed Richards and his Wife Susan were in attendance, their two children were also here, Valeria and Franklin you had heard they were part of the wedding party.
Bucky and Sam appeared at the group shortly before you did, allowing you to slip in beside Nat and Thor. On the opposite side of the small circle like shape Wanda stood hanging off her partner Vision’s arms. She of course spotted you right away and broke through the group squealing your name with excitement.
“Y/N Baby, how are you? You look gorgeous in that dress if I may say so myself!” Wanda said pulling you into a hug and then kissing you on the corner of your mouth. Her lips the brushed against yours ever so slightly before she bounded back over to Vision.
Vision hadn’t missed her antics, but he like you had an unspoken agreement that when Wanda was in one of her giddy moods to just roll with it. He brought two fingers up to his head and half saluted/waved in acknowledgement of your presence. You smiled at him back. He was a good guy; it just didn’t help having their relationship shoved down your throat by Wanda every time you two spoke.
After a few minutes of catching up and posing for group shots with Sam and Bucky, everyone made their way inside. Sam and Bucky both shot you a reassuring smile before they headed of the end of the aisle.
“So Babe. Tell me what’s new? Any more saucy rendezvous with Bucky Barnes” Natasha asked as you all sat down on the pews. Somehow your plan to end up in the middle of the small pew did not work and you found yourself on the end of the pew closest to aisle. Oh well at least you were sat next to Natasha who in turn was sat next to Thor and then Nick. Wanda was sat on Separate pew behind you and was the opposite end of her pew. (one less ex to stress about)
“Nat” you hissed.
“I told you, that was a one-time thing. Not even Sam knows. So, keep your mouth shut!”, you said rolling your eyes. Natasha was never one to take orders kindly, so she shifted around in her seat to talk to Thor and Nick.
“Sharon and I are engaged” Steve announced to the small group of you who had gathered at Bucky’s apartment. He made this announcement whilst avoiding eye contact with you (because of course he would). Nat and Sam jumped up to congratulate Steve. Bucky sat down next you with a cheerful grin. You felt your heart break, but you would be damned if golden boy wonder got to see that.
“Exciting news, aint it doll, you gonna be my date? I look mighty fine in a suit if you ask me” Bucky drawled. You looked up his ocean blue eyes and how they shined with such affection for you. You smiled at him before grabbing his beer and taking a long gulp.
“Certainly is. Oh I don’t know Buck, I might ask Wanda or even Nat to be my date.” You replied shooting him a wink.
Bucky rolled his eyes, this was all part of the course with the pair of you two, he would flirt, you would joke back but never really return the favour.
After the five of you had all settled back down and congratulations had been shared, you checked your phone, half an hour had passed. Sufficient enough time to leave without making it look like you were leaving because of Steve’s announcement. Which of course you were. You grabbed your jacket from the back of your seat. Said your goodbyes to Bucky and Sam. Kissing them both on the cheek, Natasha had excused herself to make a call, so you would text her your apologies for missing her when you got home.
“Congratulations again Steve, I’m happy for you.” You said forcing yourself to sound sincere. The fact you had called him Steve and not Stevie hadn’t been missed by the three gentlemen at the table. Sam and Bucky shifted uncomfortably whilst Steve forced a small smile onto his lips.
You’d only been back in NYC for 3 months, so you were renting Sam’s spare room. You knew he wouldn’t be home for ages yet. No doubt he would stop of at Leila Taylor’s hotel room for the night as she was in town. So, when you heard a knock on the apartment’s front door 2 hours after leaving Bucky’s you were confused. None the less you opened the door. You expected it to be anyone but Steve.
“Steve!?” You tugged your robe around your body tighter.
“What’s wrong? Is Sam okay?” You asked opening up the door inviting him in.
Steve shifted, his muscular frame feeling too big for your apartment. Avoiding your eyes he walked into the kitchen he helped himself to a beer he knew you and Sam stocked in the fridge. Steve was here often, especially for a regular Monday night boys night, recently you had been avoiding being in the apartment on a Monday night. Steve let out an exacerbated sigh and pushed one if his hands through his mess of blonde locks. Suddenly the tension between you cracked and Steve's usual happy demeanour clouded over.
“What the fuck is wrong with you Y/N?” Steve asked pointedly.
“You’ve practically avoided me since you got back, I know you try and stay out late on Mondays, so you don’t have to face me. I tell you I’m getting married and you practically bolt out the door?!” his tone accusing.
“You left Y/N. You made the decision to go to England. You walked out the door that night” he said. The anger in his eyes and voice made you feel small. Steve had never been like this with you, never in all your years of friendship.
“You couldn’t even pretend to be happy for me Y/N?” Steve asked looking around utterly broken and wrecked. Finally, he lifted his eyes to meet yours. You stood there, tears in your eyes, arms wrapped around your body tight, you were trying to disappear. Where did Steve get off? Yes, you had left, but for Christ’s sake, Steve had practically pushed you out the door.
You felt all your resolve crack away. Fuck this he didn’t get to stand there and make you feel like the bad person. So, without a word. You walked over to Steven Grant Rogers and slapped him. Steve stood there shocked. You felt shame, anger, embarrassment, and most of all hurt, and with that your heart broke completely in half and you ran into your room sobbing.
Steve realised he had fucked up and ran after you, but you were too quick and shut the door on him locking him out. Steve sat outside your door pleading for you to let him apologise. You couldn’t hear him though, the sound of your blood pulsing in your ears and your heartbroken sobs drowning him out. Eventually you must have fallen asleep because when you woke up it was 2am and you were still in your clothes.
The next morning Sam had informed you that when he had returned Steve had been sat outside your bedroom door. He didn’t ask any questions but told you that Steve had asked if you would meet him at the Starbucks down the road for breakfast at 10. He also silently handed you a note.
You had met Steve that morning and accepted his apology, but your friendship would never be the same. Probably not helped by the fact that the night after Steve had announced his engagement, you went back round to Bucky’s with the intention of letting him fuck your brains out
Anticipation was building and you saw Sharon’s snotty family dressed in pastel, her mum made a mad rush along the side of the church pews, trying desperately not to get caught. It looked like one of the bridesmaids had left the bouquet behind. You couldn’t help but smirk. Certain that Sharon would be yelling at said bridesmaid somewhere in a back room. Such a shame how things always happen to the nicest of people you thought.
Natasha had stopped giving you the cold shoulder now and just as you and Thor were winding her up about her latest conquest the organ started playing. A hushed silence fell over the church, and everyone stood. The organ switched to the bridal march, all though to you it sounded like a death march.
Whilst everyone watched Sharon float down the aisle like the pageant queen she truly was. You let your gaze wander over to Steve. God he looked handsome in his tux. The black fabric stretched taught around his muscular frame. His usually deshelled blonde hair slicked back just slightly. You also let your gaze wander over to Bucky and Sam.
You couldn’t help but feel a stab of pride with the way they stood there in their sharp suits. Standing up straight and tall. Bucky’s usually loose long brown hair tied up into a neat man-bun. Sam’s presence could be felt from where you were sat a few pews from the back of the church. He always did know how to command a room. Just as you felt a small smile tug on your lips you flickered your gaze back to Steve. His eyes caught yours and your smile fell, and you felt that familiar ache in your chest once again.
The wedding started and everyone sat down, you fixed your gaze onto Bucky and Sam, not daring to let yourself look at Steve and his blushing bride. Everyone cooed about how beautiful she looked, and how handsome Steve was. Sharon’s family wiped away tears, you had blocked out the majority of what was being said focusing on the click of the cameras from the wedding photographers.
Then began the part you were really dreading. The Vow’s. Steve and Sharon exchanged vow’s nothing personal about them at all just the standard, I Steve rogers blah blah. You couldn’t help but feel your heart tighten a little when he slipped the ring on Sharon’s finger. The next few moments became a bit of a blur. Natasha had her hand on your leg in what was meant to be a comforting gesture.
However, it seemed to spur you on for when the Priest spoke the words:
“Speak now, or forever hold your peace” you stood up with shaky hands. Everyone’s eyes turned to you. Oh fuck what were you doing?! You were about to feign a medical emergency when you caught Sam and Bucky smirking out of the corner your eye. Their nods so slight that you almost missed them.
You didn’t need to look at the faces around you to know most of them were horrified, you were certain a few of your friends were putting it on for show, revelling in the drama. However as your eyes caught Steve’s, a look of hope flickered across them.
“Don’t marry her Stevie”, you said your voice barley a whisper. You had never been one for being the centre of attention in big crowds. You could feel yourself getting flustered.
“What, the fuck, did she say?” Sharon screeched. Steve didn’t seem to be listening though and his baby blue eyes never left yours.
Taking a deep breath you continued
“Don’t marry her. I know this is selfish, but she doesn’t love you, not the way I do” You stepped out into the aisle. No matter the outcome of this sudden outburst you were going to want to make a quick exit.
“Fuck Steve, outside of your status, I bet she doesn’t know the first thing about you deep down, not really, not like I do”
“You love summer, but not because of your birthday being in July. No, you love how everyone seems to always be happier in the sun. You prefer Winter over spring or fall because you love the way the nights draw in making you feel cosey as you curl up with a book. You’d also never admit it, but you’d take a bullet for Both Sam and Bucky, if it meant they got the chance to be happy. And lastly, you love the smell of sunscreen over anything else, because it reminds you of simpler times at the beach with Bucky when you were both younger” you were rambling now, and you struggled to stop.
Everything stood still, Bucky and Sam were now grinning like idiots. Steve stood at the end of the aisle mouth agape and Sharon was just in full on meltdown mode. Sensing that you may have just made the biggest mistake of your entire life, you went to leave. Something stopped you, the urge to address Sharon.
“He gets stressed every year around the anniversary of when Bucky went missing for 4 days on a hike up a mountain.” You said spinning around to face her.
“He still blames himself even though he was found thanks to Steve. He shuts down, but if you wrap him in a blanket and play old movie’s he’ll start to open back up” the tears in your eyes were falling faster than you could dry them. You were so busy staring at her you didn’t see Steve stalk up the aisle towards you.
“One last” you turned to face Steve again, however you were cut of by the feeling of his warm lips crashing on to yours. His hands cupped your face.
“Shut up Y/N” he said pulling away. He grabbed your wrist and took of rushing back up the aisle towards the exit dragging you behind him.
The church erupted into chaos as Sharon screamed for Steve to come back. Many talked about the disrespect and tutted. Bucky and Sam whooped and cheered; a few people clapped in that slow confused sort of way. It was all a blur as Steve moved quicker than he ever had in his entire life. You were still in a daze. You couldn’t quite believe you had interrupted a wedding.
Steve moved off to the side of the church his grip on your wrist tightening as he fumbled in his pocket, it was like he was looking for car keys. Suddenly he remembered where he was. What he was wearing and that he was in a tux and did not in-fact have keys on him. However, the limo he had paid for to bring you and Sam and Bucky to the wedding could be seen just down the lane from the church.
Steve turned to look at you, before shooting you a wink and he took of running, you nearly stumbled over your feet trying to keep up. The driver seemed a bit a taken a back as Steve opened the door and pulled you in behind him. You still couldn’t hear anything as your heart was beating out your chest so loud you were surprised Steve couldn’t hear it.
Steve rambled of an address to the driver of the limo, assuring him that he would still get paid for the unplanned journey. The limo set off and Steve settled into the seats pulling towards him so that you had no choice but to straddle him. Finally, your heart beat slowed enough for you to process everything, and with that you started crying again.
He was yours again, after all this time, after all the heartbreak and angst he had chosen you. You didn’t believe it, which is why you were crying, certain this was a daydream, and you would once again snap out of it and find yourself back in the church.
Steve pressed his head towards yours, pecking gentle kisses on your nose, cheeks, and forehead, as if he seemed to understand what you were thinking. He opened his mouth.
“Baby, I didn't say my vows, So glad you were around, When they said speak now”
19 notes · View notes
main masterlist . avengers masterlist . requests
after the loss of her father, y/n locks herself away, and her boyfriend wants her back.
y/n likes peter parker, the avengers have convinced her he likes her too.
peter parker has been kidnapped
nakey nakey #
inspired by this
peter parker and y/n are benched.
based off of the tiktok trend where you call your boyfriend by his name
requested, peter meets your family
tiktok trend where s/o’s call each other by increasingly weirder nicknames
y/n and peter foster bunnies for emma's birthday
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