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I don’t think people understand the grieving you go through when you become chronically ill. The realization that you’ll never feel healthy again. That you’ll have this struggle and this pain for the rest of your life. That your body won’t ever be or feel the same that it used to. Sometimes I just sit and I cry and I grieve because I miss healthy me. I miss her so much.
Its been a while but I just wanna say I love your chronic pain photo! Can i request more content? Anything you want! Your representation is so yummy <3
god, how i hate having lupus. everyone thinks im fucking helpless, and they underestimate me. and it fucking sucks because normally they're right. on certain days i physically can't participate in my hobbies bec i'm in horrible pain. because of it, people just think im lazy and disgusting. i can never win. i can't do anything right, i don't know why i thought i ever could.
Haven’t drawn these two in a while and decided they deserve my attention once again
I feel like these two just have a really unique dynamic! Their both sickly little queers and I think they probably bonded over that as warriors but we’re never anything more then casual friends.
Then when Brokenstar came to power they started spending a lot more heavy moments together- Runningnose found out that he just- focuses better with Nightpelt around. So Nightpelt helps out in the den however he can. And during this time they get really close and catch feelings- but decide not to act on them till ‘This is all over’
When it is all over though- Nightpelt is made Nightstar, and the two of them agree that a relationship couldn’t work between the two of them. Theirs just so much to do, and they’ve got a clan of vulnerable cats counting on them! The last thing they need is their relationship tearing the clan apart!
So they both agree to just try and do their jobs and settle into a quiet life of pining and stolen cuddles in medicine den watching the sunrise.
That’s how I think they gayed in the cannon storyline anyway- thanks to the power of AU I can do whatever the hell I want with them!
Last days have been painfully exhausting in terms of emotions. And today, after being able to spit outloud all the things I've been keeping to myself I am experiencing the symptoms of a Lupus flare (this time rash and muscle pain, etc). Emotional stress is very real guys. To all of my autoimmune disease warriors BE CAREFUL with keeping all to yourself. Speak with someone or come to speak with me if you need. Unsatisfied accumulated emotional needs are fatal for our bodies. (And all healthy people too)
Had to be taken to the Emergency room this morning by ambulance. I'm so grateful 🙏 for the amazing medics at the Snoqualmie Fire Station 💕 they took really good care of me.
The doctor & nurses at Swedish ER were able to treat my pain at least for the next four hours. So I'm comfortable for now.
My heart condition episode I went into this morning due to my pain being so high, that I'm still battling with that has had me falling into the walls, jello legged nearly collapsing on the floor is being treated at home using remedies that I am to use when this situation arises.
I've been contacting doctors and clinics all morning as the ER doctor said I desperately needed to do. And I'm beyond appreciative of my rheumatology care team for straight up telling me that I need to be in bed resting and normally they'd have the patient make the calls and do the work but they're going to handle it all for me to try and get me some help temporarily while I wait to get into a pain management clinic.
I'm really hoping fingers crossed that today's the day I start getting some help for all the pain I'm in.
Luckily I got in and out of the ER pretty fast and the doctor was amazing and heard me loud and clear when I said I was in pain. She didn't hesitate to help me like so many doctors have in the past and for that I am truly so grateful 💜
Today I will be taking it easy and waiting to hear back from my care team hopefully with some good news.
the amount of medical gaslighting that happens to people with chronic illness is so disappointing. Every single chronically ill person that I know have experienced some form of it. I feel like there should be guidelines in place before people in the medical field are able to throw someone’s mental health, age, or appearance in their face. So many people get sicker or go undiagnosed and without treatment for so long because of this. It breaks my heart looking back at the way I used to have to beg for help and leave every appoint disappointed and in tears because no one would take me seriously. My heart goes out to anyone in the midst of that. Please don’t be afraid to let them know if you think they’re wrong, please don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself. I wish I did sooner. I waited 5 years to find a good team of doctors and a diagnosis. It takes most people 6-10. It shouldn’t be like this.