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abucketofweird · 6 months

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I’m currently not okay.

I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen deep into autistic burnout and it has majorly impacted my life.

Over the summer it was easier to ignore because I didn’t have things to do or much to stress about. But now it’s November first and every single assignment, class, and school related thing has destroyed any sense of achievement.

I cant take care of my own body anymore. I sleep for days without getting up to drink water, eat, or go to the bathroom. I put all of my energy into my classes recently and I’ve missed every single weekend because I’ve slept through it. Let alone doing things that require brain power or create massive anxiety for me. Like showering or even brushing my teeth.

My school performance is finally suffering after months of feeling myself drop. My memory is completely shot and I can’t write anything academic to save my life.

I look at an assignment and write it down in my planner and then I have to take a break. I write on half of a sentence and I have to take a break. It took me thirty minutes to write an email that was three sentences today.

I’ve never felt this horrible before. It’s not depression or anxiety. It’s just emotional and physical exhaustion from living as an autistic person. I have my loop earbuds in constantly (even in my safe spaces) and I’ve been able to wear two things out of my closet without having a sensory meltdown.

The only thing I’ve been able to find that people say helps autistic burnout is rest and removing responsibilities and stress from your life. I can’t do that. I am not in the financial situation to take any time off of school without going into a full salary job. I cant even take time off of classes now because I’m in the middle of third quarter and I’ve been slammed with work.

If anyone has any advice or suggestions for therapy I can try or literally anything I would really appreciate it. I’ve always been the high achieving student and now I’m desperately hanging onto my gpa for my scholarship.

#autistic burnout #autistic community #autism ask #autistic #actually autistic #autism #nerodivergent #nerodiversity #neurodivergent advice

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salti-thelatediagnosedautist · 1 year

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How do I know if I'm autistic?? Like I can relate to almost everything that ppl talk about in autism, I googled symptoms and stuff and I check off most of the list but idk it kinda sounds like it's just me thing, doesn't have to be autism. Maybe I am just like that, or uk it's just my anxiety issues getting in the way or smthm

/disclaimer: of course not everything I say will relate to every autistic person as we are all different. If you feel as though you are experiencing symptoms that are damaging your daily life then you should see a doctor if possible.

Well, autism is something that usually affects every aspect of your life. Your personality, your childhood upbringing, your mental health, your social life, your eating habits, your interests, how you go at work, etc.

I feel like knowing if you are autistic or not is just a decision you come to when you are ready (while doing research). You'll need to have patience with yourself (which is annoying, I know).

There is no set blood test, no brain scan, etc, that alone can diagnose you with autism. Even doctors are just doing quizzes and tests based on your answers. So, even medically there's not really any 100% fool-proof way to know. It's just something that you have to decide on your own. Do you relate to enough traits? Do you feel as though the label works for you?

BUT - The thing is, you don't need to be certain to start improving your life.

The end-goal of a diagnosis is finding ways to support you, based on that diagnosis. If things that help autistic people help you, then that's great! You don't need to be sure that you are autistic to try tips meant for autistic people and improve your life.

Before I got professionally diagnosed (a few months ago), and before I was certain in my self diagnosis, I was still using techniques meant for autistic people to help myself. And part of the reason I became more confident in my self diagnosis was because these tips/techniques helped me so much.

The kind of tips I'm talking about are things like:

experimenting with stimming and seeing how it makes you feel.

trying to reduce noise and other sensory input and seeing how it makes you feel.

trying to un-mask in safe spaces and seeing how I feel.

letting myself be picky with food and textures and seeing how I feel.

So, basically, your self diagnosis is just something you need to give yourself more time to be confident in. It can take a long time for autistic people to come to a big decision like that. We are generally cautious and thoughtful, and want to be accurate, so it takes time.

But in the mean time, experiment with techniques as if you were autistic and see how you feel. There's nothing to lose!

I also feel like the more you pressure yourself to be confident in your self diagnosis, the more doubts will begin to arise.

It can also help to keep a google doc, or a journal, of autistic traits you experience, and how often. Or keep links/screenshots to posts by autistic people you relate to. Seeing the evidence add up in a visual space can really help you to feel more confident in your self diagnosis.

And I think that's all I've got to say! I hope this helps :) Thank you for being my first ask :0

#ask #oc #autism diagnosis #late diagnosed autistic #self diagnosis #asd #autism #autism spectrum #actually autistic #neurodivergent #autism spectrum disorder #autistic blog #autistic life #autism ask #italics

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perplexingluciddreams · 1 year

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50 (open question) - Had something specifically that got worse with time? And something that got better?

Not to be pessimistic, but most things have gotten worse over time for me. I can’t think of anything that has improved, apart from perhaps my ability to express myself? But that is a work in progress.

Sorry that I’m not naming any particular things, I would just be here a veeeery long time if I did.

#anon ask #autism ask

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bli-o · 5 months

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hey autistic people who get overwhelmed by large groups or noise or conversation or etc etc etc you’re not evil for wanting to leave a family gathering. just so you know.

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crayonurchin · 4 months

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First art of the new year is all about re-structuring your internal monologue.

In my early 20s I was working full time in London with many social commitments and a variety of hustles and side projects.

In my later mid 20s I cater to many sensory and social drain needs I have and indulge in special interests while respecting my lower energy reserves and celebrating my different way of processing the world.

Did I get more autistic? Nah. I got less fake.

-

[Art description: Three panels showing figures on a black background. Long descriptions follow.

1. A drawing of OP as a person with hip-length hair and a dress standing sadly with her hands clapsed together in front of her. She is coloured a muted rainbow gradient. Behind her, two pairs of nondescript figures chat while smiling. White text says, ‘I’m getting more and more autistic the older I get.’ 2. OP’s colours are brighter, and her expression looks happier. Crayon-like scribbles have crossed out the text from the previous panel. 3. OP’s colours are vibrant, and she balances on one leg and throws her arms out as she dances. The text above has changed to say, ‘I’m becoming more and more myself the older I get.’ \End descriptions]

#urchin art #autism #autistic #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #actually autistic #autistic things #autistic adult #autistic artist #autistic community #listen- the process of unmasking every fiber of your fabricated being is difficult #figuring out who you are behind the mask is scary #but continuing to act in a play where only you got no script is officially cringe #(this is me waxing poetic I am very aware of the safety needs of masking but that's not the point)#the point is ask yourself #are you getting MORE xyz?#Or are you becoming MORE of you?

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squirrelbee · 1 year

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A while ago I read about autistic people and nesting somewhere & I think we don't talk about that enough. Apparently, a lot of autistic people like nesting. I love nesting. I carefully choose a space to build my nest and I bring all my little trinkets there. I surround myself with everything I love and everything I could possibly need in the next few hours- my water bottle, a snack, my weighted blanket, my soft blanket, hand creme, my headphones, my charger, my favorite stuffed animals- so I don't have to leave the nest to get anything. It makes me feel save and calm and like everything is gonna be ok. This is a nesting appreciation post. Any other autistics who love a good nest?

#actuallyautistic #neurodivergent #asking autistics #autism

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cryptcatz · 1 year

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question: do ppl ACTUALLY say things they don’t mean when they’re angry? or is that just an excuse after letting something true slip? i wouldn’t ever say something i don’t mean in anger, so the concept confuses me.

but something was said to me that is bothering me, though apparently was said in an argument and wasn’t meant. but i don’t rlly believe it wasn’t like, deep down true thoughts/feelings??? anyone have any insight? anyone say things they don’t mean in anger?

EDIT: this was a hastily worded post that i didn’t expect to get notes. this is a genuine question asked in good faith that i got a lot of amazing answers to!

also re: the many ppl saying “OP is lying about not saying things they don’t mean in anger because everyone does it”— i genuinely have never done that. if i say something mean while angry, i meant it. that’s literally why i asked this question and why the concept confuses me, because i wouldn’t do something like that so i wanted perspective from people who do it. idk why y’all can’t believe that lmao not everyone is as prone to anger and outbursts

#i know im asking The Autism Website but lol will tag autism stuff cuz i think my confusion is related. idk #autism #autistic #actuallyautistic #autistic community #autistic problems #autistic life #autism problems #neurodivergence #neurodiversesquad #personal #btw i do wanna note that this post is abt an abusive person tho #not everyone who does this is abusive! but in my specific case yes #just a warning cuz some stuff being said to me can be a lil uncomfy when saying i should forgive them #i HAVE. MANY times. too many #the anger post #< if you wanna hear more of my thoughts on this #and others thoughts

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casinocircus · 4 months

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I've been thinking about that post that's like hey don't think autism is destigmatized irl just because there's memes on this website about "my autism beam" or whatever and Ykw?? Guys, it's not even hard to see how much people still love dogging on autistic people for being "weird" all over the entire internet! Even on here!! A lot of people still see us as the people they're allowed to bully for no reason, and while I'm glad there's been some positive change over the years, we still need to work towards getting people to unpack why they think some people are ok targets, and how most of the time it's ableism.

#casinos whining hour #ableism #autism #asd #hell even im guilty of this to an extent and have to catch myself and ask why i think someones behavior is 'funny'#like if its coming from an ok place or not or if i need to examine further #a lot of things we picked up when we were younger was from copying other people to fit in and that came with stuff we need to do away with

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genderdoe-sly · 1 year

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2 10 22 31 for the autism ask:)

2. not that i know of. Many ADHDers though

10. playing with my hair, listening to music, bouncing my foot against the ground while sitting. I like rocking a chewlery when I'm alone, but I'm not confident enough to do that in public yet. Most are ones that work while masking, but I remember lots of swinging my body when I was little!

22. mostly. I want to be, at least. I spent so long confused why I was different that knowing why feels freeing and cozy(?). My autism helps me be kinder because I'm constantly thinking about fairness. My autism helps me connect to the things I love and see things ways others don't. It just feels like nobody else can see where these traits come from.

31. My Baby Blanket! He is so soft and has my name and birthday on it. One of their sides is faded light pink and the other is gray (once white hahaha). (They have a special name too but I'm not sharing that here. :) )

I also have a necklace that I wear some days that I've had since pre-school, and I've noticed sticker mosaics cam me down when I'm doing really bad.

Thank you dear mutual!!

#autism #autistic #autism ask #personal

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abucketofweird · 8 months

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If anyone neurodivergent is around and has any tips for dealing with this I would really appreciate it:

I’m having a really hard time because dealing with my panic attacks and autistic meltdown from yesterday has left me exhausted and down.

Which man’s I’m really struggling to be fully excited about Ahsoka tonight.

I just hate that I’ve been waiting on this for years and I’ve been so so so excited to be here for every second of it. And now I want to sleep through it all.

Star Wars is my biggest special interest and the fact that Im struggling to interact with it is making me super emotional

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emo-batboy · 6 months

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Things Battinson Totally Did During His First Year of University

Using Unhinged or Odd Things I Also Did as a College Freshman :D

Note: for this list, let’s believe Bruce was living in an (admittedly expensive and swanky) dorm because it is required for first-years, especially those entering at a young age, and Alfred told him he needed to make friends. Also yes I did every single thing on this list. I never claimed to be a role model

Bruce, to his TA: I’m so sorry I’m late to class. I gave blood a few hours ago and almost fainted on the way here, but it won’t happen again.

Signs up for a class called “Age of Dinosaurs” despite it not being required whatsoever and proceeds to work his entire schedule around it

Bruce: Your mental health is super important. If you think you should see the on-campus therapist, go see them. Friend: Fine. I’ll sign up for therapy if you sign up for therapy too. Bruce: Hold on-

Finds a loophole in his housing contract that allows him to get a pet frog, calls him kermit :)

Gets a second frog because Kermit was lonely, names it Constantine after Muppets Most Wanted, then realizes that they’re gay for each other. Wonders if the rainbow-colored rocks he got them triggered anything

Swings dramatically between calling Alfred every single day and ghosting him for weeks, cries when he realizes what he did

“Accidentally” joins the student body council, doesn’t know what he’s doing, gets re-elected anyway

Molds a dragon out of Laffy Taffy instead of doing his work

Bruce: *joins Honors, gets all A’s, takes the max amount of classes, has several minors, overachieves* Also Bruce: I’m a failure.

Breaks into a building after hours to study because NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AT THE LIBRARY

Bruce: I will not get seasonal depression this year. Bruce: *gets real and seasonal depression that year*

Meticulously schedules his day with a color-coded planner because if he sits down for too long, the thoughts will consume him

Gives a presentation to his rhetoric class on how much he likes Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse (it is 20 minutes long)

Successfully allocates funding from the student body council to pay for free feminine products in the dorms OUT OF SPITE because someone said it couldn't be done. fuck you, Andrew

Bruce: It is not an all-nighter if I go to sleep before my first class. Friend: It is 7:30am, the sun is in the sky, and your first class is at 12:30. Bruce: But I am getting sleep.

Refuses to go anywhere without his backpack because what if he needs three notebooks at once

Loses over 20 pounds because ✨stress✨ and scares the shit out of Alfred when he comes home for Thanksgiving

Argues with his TA over the one (1) question he got wrong on his Dinosaur exam

Bruce, calling Alfred: Hello father figure. How do I do taxes? Do I have to do them myself? Also, I think I’m having a panic attack.

Joins in on a charity arts-and-crafts project that gives kids books with matching activities made by volunteers, proceeds to commandeer the project because “it’s not color-blind friendly” and rewrites the instructions for everyone

Makes a murder wall

Goes to one (1) sports game and proceeds to leave in the first ten minutes because it’s way too loud wtf is wrong with people

Professor, addressing the lecture hall: I dare you to write an essay about these two sentences. Bruce: *writes an essay about six words, gets a 100, never even read the book*

Crawls into the ceiling for some alone time

Ghosts someone after a date because he’s too scared to tell them he didn’t know it was a date in the first place and now he feels bad

Classmate: How tf does he walk across campus that fast? I go in the same direction he does on my bike, and he’s always ahead of me. Bruce: *is gay sprinting to Dinosaur class*

Refuses to let others use his Favorite Pen TM

Constantly gets mistaken for a Grad Student because he is “so wise and mature” (bestie, that’s the autism)

Alfred: *casually mentions he got into a car accident through text* Bruce: *replies with a meme while hyperventilating because he doesn’t know what to do with that information??!*

Wears a suit to one of his finals

Regularly eats non-organic food for the first time in his life, proceeds to learn about several allergies Alfred forgot to mention he has

Writes “What is a Hot Pocket?” in calligraphy and proceeds to laugh his ass off alone in his dorm because he is so exhausted he’s reached the point of delusion

Locks himself out of his dorm right before class, frantically asks the floor group chat if someone can help, proceeds to tell the nice gay man on the floor who saved him “I love you” because his social skills have hit rock bottom

Makes a little music album display next to his desk for his favorite band (Nirvana) His friends call it a shrine, and they are technically correct

Has a blacklist of people he refuses to interact with because Reasons

Counselor: What do you want to do when you graduate? Bruce: *gestures vaguely*

Refuses to take the bus because there are people in there and he doesn’t like those

Loses one of his frogs, how tf did he do that, they’re fully aquatic, oh fuck, this is probably why they got rid of that loophole a year later because unbeknownst to Bruce, he accidentally started a frog revolution in the dorms, btw he SWEARS he did not mean to do that

Has two trash cans in his room: one for the Good Garbage, and one for the Bad Garbage. Only Bruce knows which is which

Bruce: *writes a creative piece about a ship’s final thoughts as it sinks, bringing its passengers down with it* TA: Absolutely lovely, Bruce, but are you okay?

Goes on Night Walks, keeps himself safe by maintaining a level 12 resting bitch face at all times

Earns the nickname “8th floor cryptid” after pacing the halls at 3am when it’s too cold for Night Walks (honestly tho how tf didn’t he get the nickname earlier?)

Bruce: Do you think a depressed person could do this? Bruce: *has a manic episode*

Okay that's all love you BYE

#cryptid Bruce Wayne #college au #does this count if op is the au #fully nocturnal unhinged madman Bruce but make him like 17 and full of crippling separation anxiety and autism #bruce would rather die than inconvenience a professor but hE KNOWS HIS DINOSAURS #Dino class was my fav one in uni hands down #yes i am insane thank you for asking #originally this was just going to be a normal list but I kept taking from my own experience then said “fuck it I'm the captain now”#one of these was a lie tho...the murder wall was third year :/#battinson #bruce wayne #batman #the batman 2022 #batman 2022 #the batman #battinson needs a hug #dc universe #gotham #autistic bruce wayne

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perplexingluciddreams · 1 year

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What is your favorite special interest related item you own? Show it to us if you want.

Do you have a comfort item? If you feel comfortable with it, then show it to us.

I would say that is probably my “The Bloody Irish” DVD + CD. I don’t have it to hand so can’t show but it is a musical about the 1916 Irish uprising. It is related to a special interest because it has Irish singer and actress Lisa Lambe in it, who I really love (and I’m interested in history a little). It’s not a very active special interest but I rarely have interests that involve collectible items so it is all I can answer with.

My comfort item is my teddy bear, Marmalade. He is older than me (my Gran got him for me/my parents the Christmas before I was born- my birthday is in February). He is called Marmalade because that is the name of his colour on the label, which I of course saw as a child and assumed that it was his name!

He wears a baby outfit of mine!

[ID: a brown-ish teddy bear wearing a baby’s tunic dress with a hood. The dress is maroon with thin pink stripes. Ezra’s hand is around the bear. End ID]

#autism ask #anon ask #image #described #snapshots of my life

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time-woods · 5 months

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