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#au writing
piscespetals · 6 months
Text
summary: you & sevika work in an office, and developing a silly schoolgirl crush is the last thing you expected to happen at this point in your career...
word count: i stopped counting 3/4 of the way through once I reached 16k so this is pretty hefty!
content: pinning (of course), fluff, gay disaster, the tiniest sliver of smut
thanks for reading!
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Kinda in my feelings about what it would be like to work in the same office as Sevika...
╰➤ I feel like you see her in passing a lot, since her office is only a few doors down from yours.
╰➤ The both of you often strike up casual conversations in the break room, filling the silence while awkwardly waiting for your food to heat up in the microwave.
╰➤ You always notice when she walks into the same room as you because she's constantly dressed to the nines—slacks hugging her thick thighs just right; form fitting and sleek. They shape the curved muscles of her calves as if the manufacturers make the material just for her.
╰➤ You also notice that she has a knack for neutral colors, especially with her dress shirts. She likes the top buttons to be undone, sleeves rolled up to her elbows and collar perfectly crisp. The air that swarms her is usually woodsy with a hint of spice.
╰➤ She's magical.
╰➤ And because of that, you aren't surprised at the buzz about her in the workplace. She's one of the new hires so it's natural for her to stir up curiosity. But beyond that, there's no doubt that she's quite the enigma. You've even heard a few colleagues gossip about how much they want her.
╰➤ The first time you interact with her is when you're waiting for the microwave to finish warming up your lasagna.
╰➤ Her dress shoes click softly against the tile floor as she enters the break room, causing you to glance over your shoulder. Your eyes widen when her gaze flickers from the microwave to you.
╰➤ "Hi," You mumble pathetically. Your stomach churns and your toes curl and all of a sudden, it's like you're a shy prepubescent person all over again.
╰➤ She smells good.
╰➤ "Hey," Her voice is deep and warm. It rings straight through you before settling at the pit of your stomach.
╰➤ "Uh," You swallow, shifting your weight. "I'm almost done. Then you can use it."
╰➤ She doesn't say anything else.
╰➤ Her lack of silence sparks a wave of nerves. Next thing you know, you're gesturing towards the microwave wordlessly.
╰➤ She follows the motion, eyebrows quirking up with interest.
╰➤ "I'm having lasagna for lunch," You announce. "This is my third time having to warm it up. I forgot how stubborn pasta can be in a microwave." Then you're patting the top of the rectangular miniature oven.
╰➤ You almost allow yourself to think that her expression has morphed into amusement. But before you get carried away with your thoughts, a loud ding! sounds.
╰➤ Quickly, you open the microwave door, carefully reaching for your steaming tupperware container so that you don't burn yourself.
╰➤ "Well, it's all yours!" You don't have the courage to meet her gaze anymore, finding more interest in the carpet as you leave the room and make a beeline straight to your office.
╰➤ Interactions after that are somewhat similar. Sometimes, she asks, "How've you been?" If the wait to use the microwave is longer than usual.
╰➤ The conversations are more surface level than anything—a routine song and dance to fill up silence for the sake of politeness.
╰➤ They're strings of, "The weathers been nice lately" and, "What are you eating today?" and, "How's the workload been for you?"
╰➤ Then you both are scurrying off to your own little sanctuaries, not planning to see each other until the next business day.
╰➤ There's another time when you're late to going on break. You usually like to be one of the first ones to clock out and heat up your food. There's only one working microwave because your boss is too cheap to replace the second one (that has been broken for several months now), which causes a long line to form for those wanting to warm up their home lunches.
╰➤ Unfortunately, today is the day where you have to join the majority and step in line. Due to a phone call that lasted longer than you expected, you don't end up going to lunch until 15 minutes later than you usually do.
╰➤ You're softly rocking on your heels when Sevika comes into view. She rounds the corner of the office, stalking towards the line with taut muscles and a grinding jaw. An air of annoyance lingers around her, eyes unfocused and seemingly far away, hands—
╰➤ "Are you gonna step forward?" Shane, a co-coworker, asks. He appears disgruntled, pointing at the gap of space in front of you.
╰➤ That seems to gain Sevika's attention. She peers at Shane shortly before dragging her piercing stare towards you.
╰➤ Shane huffs at your silence.
╰➤ "Oh, right!" You breathe, breaking away from Sevika's regard. "Uh, sorry."
╰➤ Taking a few steps forward, you close the distance, doing your best to ignore Shane's rant about "dillydallying workers."
╰➤ A few moments pass before that familiar image of Sevika's grey eyes resurface in your brain. Glancing back towards her, you find her scuffing the heel of her dress boots against the carpet, attention set on no particular thing. She jumps between the carpet, to the gossiping co-workers nearby, to the flickering ceiling lights.
╰➤ Just when you're about to turn back around, she glances towards you. Your gut pulls, ears rushing with adrenaline and veins buzzing.
╰➤ Then, she mouths, "Hi," and you almost combust right then. Gone is the frustrated expression that was adorning her features moments before. Instead, a ghost of a smile plays on her lips.
╰➤ You blink a few times; stunned.
╰➤ You think you wave back at her, but you can't seem to be entirely in touch with whatever your body is doing.
╰➤ "Um, hey." You reply, clearing your throat.
╰➤ It's loud enough for her to hear. But it also may have been too loud. A few other people surrounding you look over in confusion.
╰➤ "Were you talking to me?" Brian, a colleague who's standing right in front of Sevika, asks.
╰➤ You bite the inside of your cheek. "Oh—uh, no. Sorry."
╰➤ Brian looks around, not so subtly, probably trying to find out who the hell your greeting was directed to.
╰➤ Sevika laughs at the interaction. It's the kind of laugh where she presses her lips together, shoulders shaking and eyes dancing with humor. She's trying to be polite—trying to contain her laughter—but she's not doing a very good job.
╰➤ The sight causes you to shuffle your feet in embarrassment, blowing a raspberry.
╰➤ "Look, I've only got twenty minutes of my lunch break left so if you aren't gonna pay attention..." Shane admonishes, voice thin. He's gesturing to the growing gap in front of you again, clearly fed up with your lack of wherewithal.
╰➤ You bite the inside of your cheek, choosing to ignore the way that Sevika seems to be laughing harder now. Fighting off a giggle of your own becomes difficult.
╰➤ "Okay." You reply. Then you face forward, catching up with the rest of the line. "Sorry."
╰➤ The next time you see Sevika, it's when you run into her before a staff meeting.
╰➤ Literally.
╰➤ You aren't paying attention, too busy with shuffling through your purse for a granola bar, eyes downcast and head hung low, when you walk straight into her.
╰➤ Her body is firm, your forehead knocking against the rounded muscle of her shoulder. Your breath catches, eyes widening as you try to glance up, struggling to regain your bearings.
╰➤ Strong hands grab onto your upper arms. The feeling of thumbs pressing into your skin jolts you awake from the daze you've been experiencing all day. And like a moth drawn to a flame, you feel yourself hovering closer—drunk off of the delicious air that surrounds you.
╰➤ Sevika's air.
╰➤ "Oh," You huff, blinking up at her with wide eyes. In the back of your brain, you register the feeling of her large hands encircling your biceps. It's a feeling you welcome. But it becomes faint when you realize the reality of the situation. "I'm so sorry," You spit out, remorse crashing into you. "Fuck—I mean...frick." A startled laugh escapes you. "Frick because fuck is totally not work appropriate...obviously."
╰➤ You swallow thickly. Your legs tremble, an undeniable pressure sprouting in your gut under the feeling of Sevika's pressing gaze. Her stormy grey eyes examine you with interest. It leaves your mind clouded over with impure thoughts—unprofessional thoughts.
╰➤ "I wasn't looking." You add.
╰➤ "Clearly." Sevika's sporting a shit eating grin. Her hands squeeze your biceps. "You good?"
╰➤ "I'm good. Just—" You clear your throat. "Well, I was actually looking for a granola bar. I forgot to take a lunch break because I'm drowning in paperwork. And then Cam announced the meeting at the last minute so I thought I could get a quick bite on the way. Except I'm pretty sure I've somehow lost my granola bar which is just my luck. And-"
╰➤ Sevika's eyebrows are raised so high that they almost meet her hairline. "I see," She mutters, sounding impassive.
╰➤ Fuck.
╰➤ Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
╰➤ Maybe you're talking a bit too much—a habit you've been trying to break lately—but it's only because Sevika makes you nervous.
╰➤ It goes beyond her demeanor that screams, "I don't like people so respectfully, leave me the fuck alone."
╰➤ Sevika is your work crush. She's gorgeous and good at meeting the weekly stats, and smells good.
╰➤ Despite the office rumors of her unapproachability and death glares, she's not entirely awful in your presence. She's pretty cordial with you in fact. Which means, she doesn't dislike you as much as she probably does the others.
╰➤ After all, she always lets you use the microwave before her. And she doesn't make you feel completely useless when you tell her a cringey joke, or make an embarrassing attempt to strike up conversation.
╰➤ But now, you've opened your mouth.
╰➤ You've opened your fucking mouth and have probably turned her off before she could even get a chance to truly know you.
╰➤ You've fumbled.
╰➤ The realization embarrasses you.
╰➤ "Yeah," You respond. The both of you fall silent and you imagine a static screen being displayed on a person's TV somewhere in the world. That's the perfect personification of this moment, you think.
╰➤ Sevika hums, letting her hands fall back to her sides. Then she's stepping back, slightly faltering and looking down at the space between you both. You follow her gaze, eyes widening at the sight of fingers gripping the hem of her shirt. Your fingers.
╰➤ "Oh! Sorry," You repeat. You tug your hands away, breath catching in your throat. "This is—" Your lips pinch together.
╰➤ God, this is embarrassing.
╰➤ Clearly scandalized, you tread a few paces backward.
╰➤ "Um, actually, I should go pee! I haven't had a chance yet, w-with the workflow and all. Especially now that the staff meeting starts soon," Your thumb juts in a general direction of the restroom behind you. "Gotta hate those bladder infections, am I right?" Pathetically, you force out a laugh.
╰➤ Humor trickles onto Sevika's features. Her lip twitches. "Right..."
╰➤ "Not that I have a bladder infection right now! I'm preventing one by going to the bathroom. My bladder is perfectly fine." One of the straps of your purse falls off your shoulder. You readjust it. "...Not that you care, or like, anything."
╰➤ A pause bleeds into the atmosphere. Slight chatter travels from a few offices down. People emerge from their desk, hastily making their way to the conference room behind Sevika. You struggle to ignore the sound of tapping keyboards and squeaking chairs. The lull is excruciating.
╰➤ "Okay, well–" You force a cough. "I'll go now. Catch you later, Sevika." You almost allow yourself to believe that her eyes widen when you say her name.
╰➤ But then you're turning on your heels and scurrying away, discarding the ridiculous notion.
╰➤ It's the next day when you run into her again. There you are, standing in front of the microwave, when you hear chuckling. It's easy for you to know it's hers. You find yourself savoring the sound every time it leaves her lips.
╰➤ A smile stretches across your face, and you peer over your shoulder, eyes landing on her for the first time that day. Sevika's wearing a white long-sleeve undershirt, partially covered with a black sweater vest and beige slacks. She has her hair styled in a half-up, half down. She's fiddling with a gold plated watch on her wrist, expression smug and eyes regarding the person beside her.
╰➤ The microwave beeps; a sign that it's time for you to retrieve your lunch and head back to your office. But your eyes can't help but linger on the stranger beside Sevika.
╰➤ Well, they're not really a stranger. Their name is Kai. You don't know Kai personally. You just know of them. They work in the warehouse, so you only see them during the times that all departments are required to attend the staff meetings.
╰➤ Occasionally, you may see Kai if they visit one of their friends that work on the same floor as you. They have chestnut brown eyes and a badass sleeve that covers their entire right arm. But besides that, they’re a complete stranger.
╰➤ "Smells good," Kai announces, turning to you. There's a glint in their eyes as they gaze at you, and that makes you feel exposed for some reason. You can't understand why or even how.
╰➤ Then, your attention diverts to the way that Kai’s fingers dance along the cuff of Sevika's sleeve. They trail up the material, alongside Sevika's forearm, before pulling away. It's the smallest gesture—something a general onlooker wouldn't notice without staring incredibly hard—but you noticed. You wish you hadn't.
╰➤ "Thanks," You mumble.
╰➤ You turn around, swallow, blink, and open the microwave door. You ignore the burning of the tupperware container against your skin, trying to shut out the pounding of your heart.
╰➤ "Hey," Sevika greets, the quietest she ever has.
╰➤ It's harder for you to meet her eyes in that moment. You're distracted by Kai’s swaying, and how it's perfectly on beat with the music that echoes through the office speakers; how they’re majestically relaxed in a way that you never can be.
╰➤ You don't understand why such strong feelings surge through you; feelings of envy and doom and a hint of jealousy. It doesn't make sense. It isn't logical. But it's there. It's annoyingly there.
╰➤ "You're the one who just got promoted to be Cam's assistant, right?" Kai asks. You stop in your tracks, halfway between the microwave and them. A wave of shock washes over you. You never thought they ever noticed you.
╰➤ "Um, yeah. It's not really a promotion, though..."
╰➤ "No?" Kai glances at Sevika out of the corner of their eye. "Vika said so. She's mentioned it a few times, actually."
╰➤ That's when you find the courage to glance over to Sevika. Her cloudy grey eyes observe the floor, jaw grinding and hands shoved into her pockets. Sevika knows your job title?
╰➤ It feels ridiculous to be excited over such a revelation. After all, you and Sevika work in the same fucking building. How can she not know what you do?
╰➤ But there are countless coworkers in surrounding cubicles who never catch your attention; people you've never talked to. People who would never know that your office resided within walking distance from them. And the notion is the same for you when you find yourself surrounded by unfamiliar faces on days you stray too far from your office.
╰➤ But Sevika knows. She pays attention. Whether that's a good or bad thing, you allow your heart to savor the thought.
╰➤ "Oh," You mumble, swallowing thickly. Suddenly, the thought of Kai’s close proximity to Sevika doesn't seem so bad.
╰➤ "Well, anyways, there's a clerk position opening up and I may have interest in it. Kinda wanna be a corporate person now, you know?" Kai grins, laughing lightly. You smile in return. "If I land the job, maybe you can help me get adjusted to office life? Show me the ropes a little. Vika says you're the best one on the sales team."
╰➤ Vika says you're the best one on the sales team.
╰➤ Vika says you're the best.
╰➤ Sevika's head lifts, rolling her eyes as she nudges Kai with her elbow. Kai yelps then coughs seconds after. 
╰➤ "I just do what's in my job description." You bashfully admit.
╰➤ Kai’s grin widens. “Right…” Their words are slow and heavy with an unspoken implication.
╰➤ Their gaze shifts to Sevika, then you, then Sevika, and back to you again. The hairs on the back of your neck stand and you find yourself feeling self conscious; it feels like they know something about you that you don't want them to.
╰➤ “I’m just gonna squeeze by really quick,” Kai announces.
╰➤ You side step, allowing them to head towards the vending machines. You make the mistake of not being spatially aware, moving over a bit too far and knocking into the table positioned to your right. 
╰➤ "You okay?"
╰➤ Your eyebrows furrow at Sevika's question—at her concern. The way her gaze flickers between you and the table has your stomach tugging. Your fingers tighten around your tupperware container.
╰➤ "Just clumsy," You explain, nodding at her. "Which you probably already, uh, know."
╰➤ Your memory travels back to the day before, and how you ran right into her.
╰➤ You're not sure you'll ever be able to forget something so embarrassing.
╰➤ Sevika smiles and you realize that it's the most genuine thing you've seen all day. "Oh," She says knowingly. "I do."
╰➤ She's teasing you but you don't mind it. You couldn't even if you tried because you're too caught up in how breathtakingly handsome she is. The intricate details of Sevika's smile always has a powerful effect on you.
╰➤ She has the tiniest dimples in her chin, puffy dark lips gorgeously contrasting to the whites of her teeth. And her gap—goodness, that gap has you wanting to curl up into a ball and melt away. It's placed right between her two front teeth.
╰➤ You hold your tupperware container tighter against the lower pouch of your belly, feet rocking forwards and backwards, head swimming from Sevika's presence. She has you completely gone for her. A proper crush—and surely, due to the current circumstances of being coworkers—a rather inappropriate crush too.
╰➤ "You know," You find yourself saying. "I just realized...I've never actually introduced myself to you."
╰➤ Sevika straightens, eyes flashing with that familiar light of humor. "You're right. You haven't," She clicks her tongue. "How rude."
╰➤ Your skin prickles, "I'm the rude one?"
╰➤ "Are you insinuating otherwise?"
╰➤ "Yes." You nod, trying to erase your smile. Your cheeks are starting to ache. "Did it not take you two months to say more than just Hi to me?"
╰➤ "Not true." She clears her throat. "Sometimes, I would say hey instead."
╰➤ Your jaw drops and silence fills the room.
╰➤ And then you're laughing. It's the type of giggle that bubbles over with an emotion similar to returning home. Your cheeks ache and so does your stomach; your vision momentarily blurs from the action of squinting. Sevika joins you with her own laughter but hers is more beautiful. It's like the soft breeze of the wind on a spring morning. You'd try to make her laugh forever if you really could.
╰➤ Soon you're exhaling softly, features relaxing as you glance towards her. "I'm sure you already know who I am, and what I do here. But, for formality reasons..." You begin. It feels weird to introduce yourself to her, especially after seeing her nearly everyday for the last four months. After all, it seems like she knows enough to have already talked about you to Kai. But it makes you feel better to do it this way. You give her your name personally and shake her hand.
╰➤ A proper introduction.
╰➤ Sevika repeats your name under her breath, trying it out for herself. The sound of it causes your toes to curl inside of your shoes. When she shakes your hand, you take note of how large her fingers are compared to yours. One of her hands could engulf the both of yours without any effort. And her skin is warm and calloused. Despite the rough exterior, she touches you with such fragility that you have to glance down for a second. It's almost as if she's afraid of breaking you.
╰➤ But then the moment is over. Kai returns, this time with two bags of Doritos in their hands. They throw one at Sevika, and thanks to Sevika’s fast reflexes, it’s caught without a single flinch. 
╰➤ “This should hold us over until Leah clocks out.” Kai sighs. “She wants to go to Famous Dave’s again and I’m kinda in the mood for like, anything other than that. Like I can only eat a certain amount of that stuff before I start suffering from a serious case of heartburn.”
╰➤ Sevika scrunches her nose, popping a chip into her mouth. “Then tell her that.”
╰➤ “I can't,” The whine of Kai’s voice becomes oddly endearing. “You know how she gets.”
╰➤ “Then don’t tell her.”
╰➤ “Or maybe you can tell her. She listens to you.”
╰➤ Sevika rolls her eyes. “No.”
╰➤ “Why not…”
╰➤”Kai, just talk to her. It’s literally not that hard.”
╰➤ “...That’s what she said.”
╰➤ You marvel at the way that Sevika stops mid-chew, gaze still downturned at the red bag in her hand before muttering, “Hilarious.”
╰➤ You try to wipe the growing grin off of your face as you bite the inside of your cheek. Kai glances at you once more, eyes sparkling a gorgeous brown. “Do you want to join us? We’re catching dinner at Famous Dave’s.”
╰➤ Your jaw falls slack, shock hitting you like a ton of bricks. “Oh.” You respond. A breathless laugh leaves you. “Um…”
╰➤ “It’ll just be me, Leah and Vika. Do you know Leah? She’s in accounting. Kinda tall, lanky…socially awkward with bright purple hair?”
 ╰➤ The description doesn't ring any bells for you. “Uh, no. I don't think I’ve seen her around yet.”
╰➤ “Understandable. She works all the way up on the 8th floor.” Kai tilts their head, regarding you with a warmth you aren't used to receiving from anyone in this building besides Sevika and your boss. “Anyways, the offer still stands?”
╰➤ That’s when Sevika glances up at you through her lashes. She doesn’t necessarily crack a smile, but a corner of her lip has curved into something subtle. 
╰➤ “I wish. But I’m working overtime to help Cam with our pitch tomorrow.” You attempt to ignore the way your heart deflates as you say this. 
╰➤”Aw, man.” Kai tosses their empty Dorito bag into a nearby trash can. 
╰➤ "But we should definitely plan something soon.” Before you do anything stupid, like flaking on Cam last minute just to meet up with coworkers for dinner, you urge yourself to bid them goodbye. “I'll catch you guys another time, alright?" 
╰➤ "Nice meeting you!” Kai calls. A short hiss escapes the bottle in their hand as they twist off the cap and tilt their head back. It's a diet coke.
╰➤ "You too!”
╰➤ It's awkward when you slip past them both, proximity dangerously close to Sevika. You find the courage to whisper, “Later Vika,” to her at the last second.
╰➤ Her body stiffens and it almost sounds like she chokes while swallowing another mouthful of her chips. It’s probably the least collected display of behavior you’ve ever witnessed from her. 
╰➤ You stifle a laugh, brushing past her and towards the direction of your office. 
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╰➤ You feel really fucking sad today.
╰➤ Days like today are days that you dread. It isn't a result of anything particular. Of course, you want to be able to blame an event or cause. But the truth of the matter is that you're just having a really bad mental health day.
╰➤ It first starts off with you waking up late. You never wake up late. Your mornings are pretty routine. Some may call them mundane, but routine helps you get through the day easier. So when your alarm doesn't sound and you wake after a bad dream, realizing that it's 30 minutes past the time that your alarm usually rings, your heart sinks.
╰➤ You don't have time for a full breakfast. You have to settle for toast and orange juice instead, slipping on the cleanest pair of jeans and shirt that you can find. When you make it to work, you're just on time. But everything is off.
╰➤ Because instead of your usual business casual attire, you're sporting faded jeans, a blank t shirt and beat up sneakers. Your muscles are still sluggish and your eyelids are heavy. So far, the morning isn't great.
╰➤ As time passes, you realize that you're quite ahead in your work. Cam is off for the day, which means you don't have any extra errands or tasks to do for him. There is truly not much left to accomplish.
╰➤ You settle on the mission of clearing out your voicemail box. But that's soon completed. Your latest emails are nothing of importance and you don't have any upcoming meetings to attend. A cloud of doom hovers over you. By 11 AM, it doubles in size. Once noon hits, it's time for your lunch break and a sorrowful cloud clings onto you like a leech.
╰➤ It's hard to gain a semblance of what to do next. Your heart's true desire calls for your bed and a long restful sleep. Your chest seizes with dull aches and your mind swarms with everything yet nothing at all. This is a familiar feeling that you always hate. It's hard to prevent days like this. It always creeps up on you before you can find the strength to prevent it.
╰➤ You're nearly 30 minutes late to taking your lunch today. You've packed a deli sandwich with grapes, pretzels and a bag of potato chips. But none of it is appealing. And for the first time in months, it's a cold lunch—which you don't usually prefer.
╰➤ Your legs take you to the break room. It's almost empty, with only the buzz of a few coworkers trailing in and out. You sit at one of the tables in the corner, sighing softly and staring down at your lunch.
╰➤ You aren't hungry. Whenever the rare days like today hit you—days when your appetite for life fades—a dwindling appetite for food soon follows. But if you don't eat, then you'll later find yourself crouched in your bed with aching temples, fighting off the pains of a skipped meal. So you open the tupperware container that has a handful of green grapes and take a few bites.
╰➤ There's something about working in an office environment that you enjoy. It's mostly independent-driven, which you prefer. You don't mind the quiet solace that comes along with being in your own office, surrounded by towers of paperwork and due dates. The system of doing the same tasks throughout the day—of working through the same checklists—always leaves you feeling at ease.
╰➤ Even the soft rings of telephones and fingers typing against keys provides you the same comfort that brown noise does for other individuals. Everything about your job is monotonous and ordinary, and therefore absolutely perfect.
╰➤ Your shoulders soon relax as you eavesdrop on a conversation between two coworkers huddled together on the other side of the break room. It's silly workplace gossip about other folks that you don't know, but for the sake of people watching, you allow yourself to become preoccupied with the way they interact with one another.
╰➤ Both of the girls are dressed in fashionable attire, with sleek knee high boots and pencils skirts. Their faces are painted with spotless makeup, nails freshly manicured and eyebrows perfectly arched. Your gaze travels back to your faded old jeans and dirty white New Balance sneakers.
╰➤ Sighing, you tug on the soft hem of your crew neck sweater, which you've thrown on due to the chilly air of the building. That's when a chair beside you squeaks. The legs are dragging against the tile floor due to someone pulling it out and sitting on it.
╰➤ You're met with the familiar features of Sevika. Her hair is pulled back into a perfectly sleek low-bun. There's a slight hint of mascara and eyeliner, barely noticeable if you hadn't already seen her on the days where she's bare faced. She smells of everything good; the walking embodiment of heaven.
╰➤ And she looks just as nice as she smells, with her beige button up and black slacks and matching black dress boots. She looks expensive. She always does.
╰➤ You blink, not only taken aback by her beauty, but also by her sudden presence. Isn't her lunch break supposed to be over by now?
╰➤ "Hi." She greets, which is nothing more than a murmur.
╰➤ Sevika has a very distinct way of communicating. Her lips move so fast that sometimes, you aren't sure if she's truly speaking or if it's all just your overactive imagination. She doesn't talk much, but when she does, it's intentional. You know that every word she does say is meant to be said. And you appreciate that trait about her.
╰➤ She's not the type to raise her voice. Out of all the encounters you've had with her, there's never been a time when she's even gotten remotely close to losing her composure. But a part of you is not sure if composure is the right word. Sevika just seems to be naturally indifferent; mellow. Constantly unbothered. That's what draws you to her. And that's why you feel a dose of comfort shoot through you at that moment. Her presence will probably always be welcomed, no matter what mood you're in.
╰➤ You give her a small smile in return before popping another grape into your mouth.
╰➤ She hovers for a bit. You're not sure what to say, or even if you should say something. 
╰➤ "Not using the microwave today?" She adds.
╰➤ You force out a small chuckle. "No."
╰➤ Silence resumes.
╰➤ Her lashes are quite long.
╰➤ She really is beautiful.
╰➤ You glance away from her, absentmindedly playing with the tattered ends of your sleeves. Your left leg is crossed over your right, rocking back and forth out of habit. There's a moment when it lifts a bit too high, knocking into Sevika's shin.
╰➤ You grimace, "I'm sorry."
╰➤ Out of the corner of your eyes, you pick up on the movement of her broad shoulders shrugging. "It's all good."
╰➤ Your rocking resumes. You make sure to angle your body away from her after that; ensuring that you won't accidentally kick her again.
╰➤ Slowly, you nudge your container of grapes towards her, "Would you like some?"
╰➤ She hesitates, "No." Another pause, then, "It doesn't seem like you've eaten much of your lunch today."
╰➤ "I'm not as hungry as I usually am. It's been a rough day."
╰➤ She positions herself to where her elbows lean against the tabletop. It appears that she's inches closer and the smell of her practically overpowers you because of it. "Is it worth talking about?"
╰➤ You peer up at her, eyes widening when you see the dilation of her pupils. Her hands are clasped together, chin resting on her knuckles and grey eyes regarding you with interest. The squaring of her shoulders causes her muscular biceps to bulge through her beige dress-shirt. It's a gorgeous sight.
╰➤ Your heart stutters.
╰➤ "Um," You blink, trying to concentrate despite the ongoing brain fog. "I'm just sad today, Sevika." You swallow thickly, finding yourself inching a little closer with your chin resting on your own hand. "But there's not a particular reason why. It's ridiculous, to be honest. Simply one of those days, you know?"
╰➤ She shifts towards you.
╰➤ Your foot brushes against her calf.
╰➤ A solemn ease envelopes around the both of you as an expression of understanding trickles onto her features. She nods quietly.
╰➤ There's not much to say, or rather, not much that you want her to say. You're grateful that she doesn't make a huge deal of your admission. Sadness lives in every human throughout their life. Just sitting with her is enough to ease the tide waves of grief that has been rolling through you. At that moment, sitting in the break room with Sevika, your sadness somehow finds a way to transform into still water; a sea of tranquility solely from Sevika's presence.
╰➤ She hooks her foot around the leg of your chair, dragging you closer towards her. Your stomach does somersaults and if you weren't so flustered, you'd probably be brave enough to ask her why she's doing this. But instead, you're left trying to stabilize your heart and trembling fingers. You allow yourself to bask in her closeness.
╰➤ "Your sadness isn't ridiculous," Sevika begins, wetting her dark full lips. Her breath smells of peppermint. Your foot grazes against her calf again, this time for a few seconds longer. "I don't know who or what's made you believe that, but it never will be."
╰➤ The shift in her is abrupt; something powerful enough to cause you to gawk at her. With each passing second, all of your worries slowly begin to unspool and relax, because her words ring with unrelenting truth. You know that she 100% believes everything that she's just said. That's enough for you.
╰➤ "And I don't blame you." Sevika adds. "I mean, this job alone is enough to send anyone into a fucking spiral."
╰➤ You laugh for the first time today. Your palms rest against your cheek and your eyes crinkle shut momentarily. Somehow, she makes laughter on even the most difficult days easy. "Oh, I don't know." You respond, after finally calming down. "This place isn't so bad."
╰➤ "Are you sure?" Her eyebrows raise. "I find that very hard to believe."
╰➤ "Well, there are perks. Like the wattage for the microwave here...It's—what—1500? That's way better than the one in my apartment."
╰➤ She rolls her eyes, but you don't miss the way that they flash with amusement. "Sweetheart, no wonder you're depressed. You've turned to microwave usage as a source of entertainment."
╰➤ A giggle escapes you and you squirm in your seat from her teasing.
╰➤ Sweetheart.
╰➤ The pet name echoes in your ears.
╰➤ "There's not much else to be entertained by. The wallpapers here are quite dreadful."
╰➤ She grins, glancing at the wall behind you. "Oddly obsessed with microwaves and picky about interior design. Noted."
╰➤ Your nose scrunches as you fight off another smile, sighing melodramatically.
╰➤ Sevika looks as if she's going to speak again. But then her phone vibrates against the tabletop quietly. She grabs it, peering at the screen before exhaling. "That's my cue." She says with a reticent expression. "My lunch break is up."
╰➤ You feel yourself deflating but you do your best to cover it up, nodding instead. "I should be getting back too."
╰➤ You both stand up, the lingering tension in the atmosphere snapping like an elastic band. Sevika spares you one more look, pocketing her phone and stretching her arms. Her smile is small but the effects of it leaves you feeling disembodied.
╰➤ "See you around, sweetheart." 
╰➤ Then she leaves.
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╰➤ You stare at the door in front of you, trying to gain the courage to knock on it.
╰➤ This is ridiculous, really.
╰➤ You're ridiculous.
╰➤ Your palms are sweaty and your heart is beating entirely too fast. You want to turn around and walk back to your own office. You want to forget about ever doing this, or being delusional enough to think that this was a good idea.
╰➤ But you've already gone through the trouble and effort of preparing everything...
╰➤ Plus, numerous coworkers have witnessed you standing in front of this door for quite some time now. Turning around and walking away without even knocking would not only be embarrassing, but also probably attract some negative attention.
╰➤ Sucking in a breath, you raise your free hand, knock three times, then exhale.
╰➤ One second passes and you instantly regret it.
╰➤ You shouldn't have done this.
╰➤ You're sure numerous minutes pass before the door finally swings open—at least it feels that way. Round brown eyes greet you and your heart skips a few beats.
╰➤ You definitely should have thought this through a little more.
╰➤ "Oh, Kai." You breathe. "Hi."
╰➤ “Hey!” Surprise filters onto their features. "What are you doing here? Have you been standing out here for long? Sev—uh, you have…” They disappear behind the door, whispering something indiscreetly. 
╰➤ "I was just stopping by." You shift your weight, growing uneasy. You try to glance past them but it's hard to see considering you're several inches shorter than them. "F-For um, well... I was hoping to speak to Sevika."
╰➤ Kai appears in front of you again, smirking impishly. “...Any minute now, Vika. It’s not like you have someone waiting out here for you or anything.”
╰➤ You swallow. Inconspicuously, you glance around you, hoping that no one is eavesdropping from their cubicles. "I was wanting to give her something. I'm sorry that I interrupted." You rub your palm against your forehead, not knowing where to go from here. "Honestly, it can wait. It's not urgent or anything. It's just a gift. I know we don't usually stop by each other's offices like this so I'm sorry for showing up unexpectedly. I just thought...I don't know. I can come back? Yeah, I'll just come back another time-"
╰➤ "That's not necessary." Sevika appears over the shoulder of Kai. Your chin tilts up in order to meet her gaze, and you take a few steps backwards, clasping your hands behind you. "You weren't interrupting anything." The handsome woman muses, brows raised. You marvel at the way that her eyes glaze over you, up and down, before settling on your face again.
╰➤ Nodding, you allow your attention to flicker to Kai, who is now standing in between the both of you with raised eyebrows. The awkwardness of it all makes you clear your throat, shuffling your feet and wishing you had thought of a better way to do this. Maybe you should haves waited until you saw Sevika again in the break room.
╰➤ "I’ll catch you guys later, okay?” Kai chirps, barely glancing at Sevika as they pocket their phone. They’re practically beaming at the both of you when they step past the door threshold. Then, they disappear behind the rows of cubicles.
╰➤ Your mind reels at everything that's just happened. You struggle to fully understand why the temperature of the central AC suddenly feels like a searing heat wave. 
╰➤ When you peek over at Sevika, you find that she's already observing you. Her two front teeth sink into the plump flesh of her lower lip, eyes a darker shade of grey and swarming with undeniable heed. You can't help but admire her lips and how they appear to be perfectly crafted. They look softer than a billow of feathers, and you desperately want to touch them—want to feel them—and want to allow them to sweep you up into another world.
╰➤ That hunger inside of you grows, a specific feeling that she's only been able to bring out lately, and you know that no one can ever satiate such a desire but her.
╰➤ God.
╰➤ You've got it bad.
╰➤ She releases her lip and you become enamored with the way her throat jostles as she swallows. Painfully aware of your obvious staring, you force your attention back to her eyes.
╰➤ "I've got something for you," You say. Your voice is unfamiliar to your ears—huskier.
╰➤ Silently, she gestures for you to come in. You step forward and close the door behind you.
╰➤ Sevika's office is similar to yours. The desk and chair are quite the same, along with the filing cabinets and additional chairs for guests. But she also has a dark purple rug, with numerous framed pictures and a mini fridge shoved in the corner.
╰➤ A pair of dark purple curtains are drawn, allowing the sunlight to creep in, and more picture frames line the windowsill.
╰➤ Before you allow yourself to get too swept up with your surroundings, you turn to her and pull your left hand out from behind you, which holds a card. It's a simple blank one that you bought at the store and it has the words thank you written with one of your favorite sparkly ink pens, along with your signed name and lip print stained by your favorite lipstick shade. Above the personalized message are a few pairs of pressed tulips.
╰➤ "I just wanted to express my gratitude." You explain. She takes the card, staring down at it silently. "I was feeling a bit down the other day and you helped me by keeping me company. It may sound silly because it was just a simple conversation but," You shrug. "Conversation goes a long way sometimes. Especially for those that need it."
╰➤ Her thumb traces over one of the petals, lips parting and eyes widening. It's hard to know exactly what she's thinking and a part of you believes that maybe you've overstepped—that you've crossed an unspoken boundary. Her ongoing silence causes an unexpected panic to stir within you.
╰➤ Desperate to clean up a situation that you fear will go haywire, you open your mouth to say, "These are from a small garden that I’ve been trying to grow." Your forefinger hovers above her thumb, gesturing towards the flowers. "I pressed them myself, so that they won't die on you." You lick your lips, mouth feeling dry all of a sudden. Oh god. Why does she look like that? Why isn't she saying anything? This can't be good. "And I...well, now that I'm thinking about this, I'm realizing that this may be coming off as weird. I'm sorry. If I've made you like...uncomfy or anything, I totally understand and I'm sorry. My intention wasn't to make things weird."
╰➤ Her head raises at that, expression completely unguarded. It's rare when you're able to see unfiltered emotions flitting across her features. Sevika isn't the type to walk around with her heart on her sleeve. But with the way that she's looking at you, you realize that there's something unbelievably tender about her gaze.
╰➤ "And you'll probably tease me for this," You continue. You curse yourself for sounding breathless. Tearing your eyes away from her, you point at the card again. "But I used my microwave to press the flowers. Only because the other methods would have taken too long."
╰➤ That's when she laughs.
╰➤ You exhale softly from her hearty chuckles, relief immediately enveloping you.
╰➤ Laughter is a good sign.
╰➤ "I should have maybe waited to give you the card. I just didn't want to anticipate your reaction until noon, if I'm being honest." You wring out your hands, not able to shake the nervous jitters running through you. "I hope you like it."
╰➤ She runs her thumb over the material once more, lips rolling inwards before she rubs them together, deep in thought. You impatiently wait for a sign, any sign, that indicates her feelings towards your gesture.
╰➤ Her eyes, set deep above the plane of her cheekbones, slant as they peer downward towards the cardboard in her hand. She inhales through her nose, relaxes her lips, then exhales.
╰➤ "You didn't have to do this," She finally replies. "But of course I like it." She doesn't smile. However, you do notice a new light in her expression when she refocuses her attention on you. "Also, you apologize a lot." She pauses before adding, "...More than you need to. You haven't done anything weird at all."
╰➤ You want to bury your face in a pillow and squeal. But you settle for a smile instead. "Oh."
╰➤ Her lips crack into a knowing grin before she turns on her heel and walks over to her desk. She delicately positions the card so that it's standing upright next to a picture of her and a skinny brunette man. "The card is beautiful." She observes. Despite the natural raspiness of her voice, it has a warmer lilt to it now. "Thank you."
╰➤ You determine that Sevika thanking you is a new favorite. You want to shower her with endless gestures if it means that she'll continue to show fondness towards you.
╰➤ She leans against her desk, halfway sitting on the top surface, before shoving her hands in her pockets. Through the material of her slacks, you notice that they seem to be balled into fists.
╰➤You shift your weight as a strong sense of pride swells in your chest, opting to rest your shoulder against the door frame.
╰➤Only—you remember too late that nothing is actually beside you, and that the door frame is several paces behind you. Instead, you stumble when you realize that there's nothing close enough to catch your weight.
╰➤ Your arms sprout out in an attempt to catch your balance.
╰➤ "Um," You mumble dumbly, flustered by the mess that you've become. "...Thought there was a wall beside me." You clear your throat, attempting to right yourself again. 
╰➤ Sevika stares at you, eyes dancing with merriment, as she struggles to swallow her chuckles. She forces out a few coughs, trying to cover up her mirth, but it's clear that she finds your lack of coordination entertaining.
╰➤ You rest your hands on your hips in an attempt to find a comfortable standing position. You want to cringe. You want to crawl under a rock and never be perceived again.
╰➤ You puff out your cheeks before blowing out a heavy exhale. The room feels really hot and your heart is doing backflips in your chest. You can't tell if it's because of your stupid schoolgirl crush or the embarrassment of nearly eating shit in front of Sevika.
╰➤ Probably a combination of both...
╰➤ "Gravity really hates me." You jest.
╰➤ Her grin widens. "I can tell."
╰➤ You let out an exasperated chuckle, palm reaching up to rub against your forehead. She has to be aware of her effect on you.
╰➤ Like it's just painfully obvious at this point.
╰➤ Right?
╰➤ Your lips part and your hands pool with more sweat and you feel like the biggest lovesick loser to ever exist. There she is, with her perfect face and perfect laugh and perfect everything. You've barely talked to this woman outside of lunch breaks yet here you are, giving her pressed fucking flowers and worshiping the ground she walks on just because she sat with you for a few minutes. There can't be any other way that you can become more obvious.
╰➤ Your hands are flailing ridiculously around you, towards her plush purple carpet and curtains and picture frames before you're saying, "Nice office by the way."
╰➤ And she's looking at you with that knowing expression that's borderline condescending, which you really love despite how much you want to hate it, when she replies, "Thanks, darling."
╰➤ You blink rapidly and try not to combust right then.
╰➤ Your feet carry you to a nearby bookshelf before you can think otherwise. A shitload of CD’s are neatly stacked on them with names of artists you didn't know anyone still listened to. You preoccupy yourself with shifting through them, trying your best to ignore the zoo erupting in your stomach. There’s collections of Nina Simone and Freddie Hubbard and Bill Withers. Your eyebrows raise at the eclectic catalogue, not bothering to swallow the surprise that sprouts within you. It should be known at this point that Sevika will never fail to surprise you.
╰➤ Your hands tremble as they hold an ABBA CD. They cling tighter to the plastic case, attempting to make the shaking less noticeable. Something warm brushes against your shoulder, before taking the CD from you. You peer at Sevika, observing the way that she wordlessly takes out the disc and moves to a CD player that is situated farther to your left. 
╰➤ Despite her being concentrated on getting the speaker system to work, you’re totally enraptured by her. Her smell surrounds you like a cloud of ecstasy. Her hair is down today, a feathery cut that stops just below her jaw. Loose ends are tucked behind her ear, highlighting the rarest features of her face that you probably have overlooked before. Her lips purse together while she deeply concentrates, puffing out in a way that makes them look unbelievably inviting. Your breath catches, a prominent ache building between your thighs as the room fills with the beginning chords of The Winner Takes It All.
╰➤ She hums underneath her breath as the first verse begins, neatly placing the CD on top of the player. Slowly, her eyes drag back to you, unfocused and clearly lost in the music that fills the room. But then she freezes, seemingly not expecting you to already be observing her. The harmonies of the song contrast to the moment of stillness then; a corded tension falling between the two of you. 
╰➤ The feelings you have in that moment are visceral. Your head is spinning and your heart is racing. No matter how hard you swallow, your throat remains dry and your skin yearns for her—for her touch and her warmth and her firmness. 
╰➤ Your eyes burn and you have to blink rapidly in order to clear your vision. You can't understand why these feelings have hit you so suddenly, and why they're so intense for a woman that's only your coworker. But you try not to scold yourself too much, rubbing your palms against the material of your skirt instead.
╰➤ “What’s wrong?” She whispers, scanning your face.
╰➤ And that's when you realize how close you're standing to her. Maybe you were the one to step forward—or was it her?—and shorten the distance, but you can't know for sure. You should pull away. You should bid her a good day and return to your office (you'll have to be on the clock soon anyways) but you can't.
╰➤ You can't because it's too late. She’s already roped you in with her aloofness and cheshire grin and warm sultry voice. The window to escape has already passed. You're simply in too deep now.
╰➤ “You're just really fucking beautiful.” You blurt out. 
╰➤ When Sevika registers what you've said, it seems like she stiffens in shock. Her lips part, a sharp breath being sucked in while her stare intensifies. 
╰➤ You don't have enough wits to properly downplay your words or try to retract what you've said. The most you try to do is blink away the tears in your welling eyes and say, “I’m sorry.”
╰➤ You take a step back, then two. The reality of the situation hits you like a brick wall. You let out a heavy exhale, trying to calm the storm beginning to brew in your mind.
╰➤ Holy fuck.
╰➤ What if you’ve made her uncomfortable? You've clearly crossed a line. You're at work. In fifteen minutes, you’ll both be on the clock and trying to get your day started. This is inappropriate. 
╰➤ You feel like employees from the Human Resources department will barge right in at any moment, confronting you about your intentions and hauling you off to be questioned. Guilt rumbles in you like an unrelenting river breaking through a dam.  
╰➤ Sevika is shaking her head, eyes searching yours with growing alarm. “Sorry? Sweetheart, you have nothing to be sorry fo-”
╰➤ “...with the flowers and the card and calling you beautiful. I shouldn't be doing those things and saying stuff like that. I mean, not because I don't think you're beautiful. You're so beautiful. It's just... Oh lord—I’m doing it again. Fuck. Frick. Uh,” You gulp, taking a few more steps backwards. “I just don't want to make you uncomfortable. I'm totally aware that we’re coworkers. And I don't wanna be that one creep in the office who-”
╰➤ “No, it's okay.” She shakes her head again, a small smile appearing on her face. “You haven't weirded me out at all.”
╰➤ You stop mid rant, mouth hanging open and eyes trailing back to her. “Are you sure?”
╰➤ “Completely sure.” 
╰➤ Your attention hooks onto the details of her laugh lines. They become more prevalent as her smile widens. You want to brush your lips against hers and feel the curve of her laugh lines against your skin. 
╰➤ You fight the urge, responding with, “Okay,” instead. 
╰➤ She hums quietly underneath her breath, arms folding against her chest. 
╰➤ “Okay,” She echoes. Her weight rocks backwards, a slight sway that causes her hair to brush lightly against her jawline. You're captivated by the sharp edge of her jaw—and how it seems to become even sharper with each passing second—as she momentarily clenches it. 
╰➤ She’s opening her mouth to say something else when there's a knock on the door. “Sevika?” The silhouette of a woman, probably a coworker, shines through the frosted-glass door. Reality slams into you like a semi truck.
╰➤ Your heart jumps at the interruption. For some reason, you take a few more steps away from Sevika and your muscles tense.
╰➤ There's a hesitation that looms in the air. 
╰➤ Sevika's eyes hold something undefinable. Her gaze is level and full of intent. And you can't understand why everything feels so convoluted right now.
╰➤ After a few agonizing seconds of silence, she sighs, shoulders falling as she shifts her attention to the ground. “Come in.” 
╰➤ The door opens and a pretty brunette with glossy lips and mascara-coated eyes walks in. You've seen her numerous times throughout the day. She's one of the receptionists. 
╰➤ She smiles at you and you're surprised when she greets you. You’ve never realized she knows your name. 
╰➤ “Tara,” Sevika addresses. “What's up?”
╰➤ The receptionist turns to her, “I was trying to call you but it was going to voicemail. I wasn't sure if you’ve turned on your phone for the day? I’m really sorry for interrupting. But you have a gentleman waiting for you in the lobby, he says he has an 8 o’clock with you? I just wanted to confirm.” She clears her throat, shifting her weight awkwardly. Then she’s eying you again with a small smile. “I’m sorry—”
╰➤ “No, no. You're totally fine.” Sevika’s features morph into an expression that's more genial. “Did you catch his name? I do think I have an 8 o’clock, I just lost track of time.” She’s making her way over to the CD player, swiftly cutting it off. The music stops and the air stills.
╰➤ Hair stands on your skin as she walks to her desk, fiddling with a few buttons on her landline. 
╰➤ “Yes,” Tara replies, glancing down at a yellow sticky note. “He’s from the branch in Chicago. He goes by…”
╰➤ “I’ll catch you later, Sevika.”Your voice is rushed and barely above a whisper. The feeling of overstaying your welcome floods you.
╰➤ Sevika glances up under her lashes, hands faltering from the paperwork she's rummaging through. You don't give her a chance to reply, simply shooting her a smile and wave before slipping out of her office. 
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╰➤  You sigh at the sign in front of you, bold words reading, BROKEN! PLEASE USE ANOTHER ONE on a piece of paper attached to the microwave. A low groan burns in the back of your throat. You’re starving. In fact, it’s been forever since you’ve let yourself grow this hungry.
╰➤ You didn't eat breakfast this morning. You were too preoccupied with thinking about Sevika’s gift, and how the hell were you going to give her a card with pressed flowers in a non-creepy way. But the task has been done, and for the most part, Sevika didn’t appear turned off by your gesture. So now, you are hungry. 
╰➤  Your stomach growls and your mouth pools with saliva. Spinning on your heels, you march out of the break room, trying to think of any other parts of the building that has microwaves. Your floor definitely doesn’t, which means you would have to take the elevator. And you don’t want to do that, especially if it means having to walk through another department. 
╰➤  Your mind is swarming with what ifs and maybe’s as you travel through rows of cubicles. The possibility of finding an unoccupied microwave is slim to none. If the one on your floor has been broken all morning, then there’s surely a growing line at the other ones. Dread gnaws at you and you huff with distaste. 
╰➤  There’s a part of you that considers eating your food cold. But your nose wrinkles at the idea and it’s quickly disregarded. 
╰➤  When you reach the elevator, you're met with the sight of Sevika leaning against the adjacent wall. She is lazily scrolling on her phone, her other hand occupying her pocket, and her cross body bag hanging off of one of her shoulders. Similar to the sudden dip of a rollercoaster ride—visceral and unexpected—a warmth spreads within you. Your head feels light–weightless even–and you can feel the rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins. 
╰➤ Your arm lifts and presses the button that summons the elevator. It’s a silly action, since you’re sure Sevika has already pressed it if she’s waiting for it to arrive. But you need something to do with your body; something that can expel some of the excess energy and calm your belly acrobatics. 
╰➤ Your movement seems to catch Sevika’s attention, causing her scrolling to momentarily freeze as she glances up.
╰➤  Your gazes lock and your breath hitches and you’re pretty sure you begin to hear fireworks sounding in the distance. She smiles and you return the gesture. Or was it you that smiled first? 
╰➤  “Hi,” You say.
╰➤  Her attention trails to the lower half of your face, lingering there for a few moments before climbing back up to your eyes. In a millisecond, she’s pushing off of the wall, body upright and phone slipping into her pocket. “Hey, you.” Her grin curves even more.  
╰➤ You don’t know what’s making you feel so lovesick: the inviting cadence of her voice or the fact that she’s practically glowing. You don’t think you’ve ever seen any blemish on her face besides a few faded scars. Seriously–what kind of skin care routine did the robust woman have? You made a mental note to ask her. 
╰➤ “The weather’s been nice today.” She adds.
╰➤ You fight off a chuckle, nodding in response. The conversation is elementary and completely like all the other ones that you’ve had with her countless times before. But you enjoy how mundane your chats are with Sevika. It isn’t really the topics that interest you rather than the calming consistency of her presence. The both of you could be counting the wall tiles to pass time for all you care. 
╰➤ Sevika cards her fingers through her hair as she rolls her eyes at a corny dad joke you’ve just told. “Clever.” She quietly muses, husky voice thick with sarcasm. Her lips are fighting off a smirk though, so you know she isn’t as annoyed as she’s trying to seem. 
╰➤ “Thanks.” 
╰➤ When Sevika centers her weight, she peers at the carpet, causing a singular strand of hair to fall in front of her forehead. A small part of you wants to reach out and run your fingers through it, but you softly shake your head to refocus. You listen to the faint rings of telephones in the distance instead.
╰➤“Well,” You drag out, growing uncomfortable by the silence. “Did you have a good weekend?”
╰➤She lifts her head, nodding softly. “Yeah.” A slight pause. “I went to dinner with some friends on Saturday, and then we watched the superbowl on Sunday…Made a day out of it, really…” She clears her throat. “Yeah. It was nice… What about you?”
╰➤ You don’t register the swaying of your body until your shoulder brushes against her bicep. “It was okay, I guess. I finished a novel. Went grocery shopping…did some gardening.” You wrinkle your nose, embarrassment washing over you. “Probably not as fun or eventful as yours, I suppose.”
╰➤ “Ah,” She chuckles. Her bicep brushes against your shoulder again. You can’t decipher if it was her fault or yours this time. “I doubt that.”
╰➤ You offer a thoughtful hum, but keep quiet otherwise.
╰➤ The elevator sounds with a soft ding! All too soon, Sevika is encouraging you to step on board before her. 
╰➤ “Hi Shane,” You say, smiling at the coworker that is already inside of the service lift. He barely regards you, lips frowning and worry lines prevalent on his forehead. He takes off his baseball cap momentarily, revealing a receding hairline glistening with sweat, before wiping it off with the back of his hand and repositioning the cap.
╰➤ “Hi.” The middle aged man grumbles. He nearly throws a fit when Sevika takes her time walking through the elevator doors. His face is firetruck red, left foot tapping impatiently as his finger presses the button for the 8th floor. 
╰➤ Your eyebrows shoot up and you look at Sevika. She observes the entire situation with passive amusement. 
╰➤ “Stupid elevators.” Shane grumbles. 
╰➤ You press your lips together, trying your best to refrain from laughing while reaching around him to press the button for the 6th floor. Usually, there’s a few microwaves on that one. “Where to?” You angle your head towards Sevika.
╰➤ “6th floor as well.”
╰➤ The atmosphere fills with the trademark grinding of the elevator and Shane’s disgruntled mumbling. The minutes tick by agonizingly slow and you even feel bad for giggling quietly when Shane huffs again, looking up at the ceiling with a grinding jaw. 
╰➤ Your fingers press against your lips in an attempt to remain calm, and your eyes flit over to Sevika knowingly. 
╰➤ Shane’s always been pegged as overly anxious and impatient in the office. He seems to be perpetually unhappy with everyone and everything. He seems to just be unhappy in general.
╰➤ A few levels down, the doors open and relief fills you. Riding the elevator with a fretful Shane definitely wasn’t on the top of today’s To-Do list. But then you falter at the sight of a plain concrete wall in front of you. Your eyebrows furrow and you glance back at the row of buttons. The number 6 is no longer illuminated, but you certainly aren’t facing the cubicles on the 6th floor right now. 
╰➤ "Shit…" Sevika mumbles. “This isn’t good.” 
╰➤ “Oh, come on!” The elevator shakes slightly in response to Shane obnoxiously stomping his foot. 
╰➤ Your breath hitches and you feel your arms searching frantically, trying to grab onto something to ground you, but only finding empty air. 
╰➤  Sevika’s already scanning the surroundings, probably for an emergency call box. You don’t say anything. You’re not sure if you can. 
╰➤ Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out.
╰➤ “I can’t believe this!” Shane’s voice is several pitches higher now. “I’m going to miss my appointment. Dammit!” He stomps his foot again, snatching his cap off. It falls to the ground and his hands tightly grip his hair–or, what’s left of it.
╰➤Sevika’s head snaps in the general direction of his. “Let’s not do that.” Her voice is icy. It comes off as a command instead of a suggestion and even you find yourself trying to gain your bearings. 
╰➤ Shane sends her a glare but he makes sure to keep his foot planted and his mouth shut. 
╰➤ Your eyes are burning and you're beginning to find it hard to breathe. 
╰➤ You’re stuck.
╰➤ The elevator is fucking stuck. 
╰➤ No–you can’t freak out. That won’t help. 
╰➤ Your hands are bunching against the material of your clothing, feet working into nervous tapping. Oh God.
╰➤ Oh God.
╰➤ Sevika finally finds a button next to an icon with the emergency bell symbol, which doesn’t seem to be immediately obvious at first glance. The noise is loud and jarring when she presses it, before an automated voice begins to speak words that you can’t fully register. 
╰➤ And then she’s talking with an operator, that much you can process, but it’s all blurring together too much for your liking.
╰➤ Shane is breathing loud. Annoyingly loud in fact. 
╰➤ You want to tell him to shut the hell up, especially when he starts crying, but you can barely see through your blurred vision and it doesn’t seem like your body will listen to your brain even if you will it to.
╰➤ Then there’s warm hands pressing into your shoulders, squeezing them, before lowering to your elbows. 
╰➤ “It’s okay,” Sevika reassures. “I just talked to the operator. They’re going to try to reset the system.” 
╰➤ You shake your head and grip onto her shirt. “We're going to die.”
╰➤ “Hey,” Her breath fans against your cheeks as she ducks down to look at you levelly. Her touch retracks before you feel warmness on your face. Her thumbs are swiping your skin. “Sweetheart, it’s gonna be okay.” 
╰➤  That’s when you realize that you’re the one who’s breathing heavy, because you’re also the one who’s crying. Her thumbs are wiping away your tears.
╰➤ “Sev…” You respond, breath ragged. “I’m sorry. I’m just scared, I-”
╰➤ “It’s an honest human reaction.” Her lips brush against your left earlobe as she pulls you in for a hug. “...Better than stomping your foot and shaking the entire cabin, that’s for sure.” 
╰➤ You let out an ugly combination of a sob and laugh.
╰➤ “Not funny, you asshole.” Shane isn’t too happy with the jest.
╰➤ “Hey!” You find yourself objecting. You lift your head but know it’s no use. Sevika’s too tall for you to be able to see over her. “Be nice, you two.” 
╰➤ Shane grumbles a few other curse words, this time much quieter. Sevika tightens her hold around your waist, nose rubbing into your shoulder with an odd tenderness, but she doesn’t say anything else.
╰➤ You’re sniffling as you try to relax in her hold. You’ve given up the task of restarting your heart because you know that you’ll never be able to truly calm down until you’re safely out of this elevator. But for the meantime, you try to distract yourself with the smell of Sevika, and the feeling of her pressed against you. You cling onto her like a raft in the middle of a storm, praying that she can continue to keep your worries at bay.
╰➤ “Sev,” You say again, voice shaking. “I’m really scared.”
╰➤ “I know.” 
╰➤ The elevator slips down a considerable amount, causing the both of you to lose your footing and nearly fall. Your scream melts into a gurgle of cries as Sevika curses lowly.
╰➤ She lowers the both of you to the floor, hands attempting to steady you. The panic you feel is definitely taking over now. 
╰➤ “We’re going to die.” You hiccup, eyes widening. 
╰➤ “Darling,” Sevika pauses. You almost believe that she’s trying to gather more patience, and you can’t blame her if she is. But the pause is too brief for you to know for sure. “We aren’t going to die. Hey–”
╰➤ Her fingers are gingerly pinching your chin, urging you to meet her gaze. An air of passivity rolls off of her. “Can you breathe with me? You’re hyperventilating.” Her brows begin to furrow. “I can’t have you passing out on me, you know.”
╰➤ “We won't make it out of here.”
╰➤ Her lips fix into a thin line, “Do you trust me?”
╰➤ Your reply is immediate, “Yes.”
╰➤ “Can you trust that I will make sure you get out of here safely?” Her palms begin to press against the sides of your face, holding you close to her. She strokes the apples of your cheek with her thumbs, expression pensive. “I've got you. I…” She wets her lips, eyes flickering with an odd light. “I promise.”
╰➤ A few stray tears escape your eyes, rolling down your face and onto her palms. You inhale a long shuddering breath as you nod, mouth souring everytime you think of your current predicament.
╰➤ “Okay.” You rasp. 
╰➤ The both of you are a breath apart, huddled in one of the corners. That's when you realize that you're actually sitting in her lap. 
╰➤ “I just can't believe I’m stuck here simply because I was wanting to use the 6th floor microwave.” Your eyes flicker shut, another wave of doom hitting you. “I just wanted some lasagna!”
╰➤ Sevika laughs. “If only you took the stairs.”
╰➤ “I know, right? I don't usually because I'm lazy, but maybe-”
╰➤ “I get that this is an emotional moment right now,” Shane grunts. “But does anyone have a bottle or something? I really need to piss.”
╰➤ Your nose crinkles. Ew.
╰➤ Sevika grinds her jaw. “You will keep your pants on, or so help me God…”
╰➤ “Okay, okay. I got it.”
╰➤ You clear your throat, shifting in her lap and glancing at Shane. He has his left leg crossed over his right, legs tense and face seemingly straining with concentrated effort. A vein is bulging out of his neck and sweat is gathering around his forehead again.
╰➤ “Tell me another one of your lame jokes.” Sevika whispers, completely disregarding him and squeezing you closer to her.
╰➤ The shift in conversation feels like emotional whiplash. 
╰➤ Everything about today has been weird. You never thought a day would come where you're actually sitting in her lap, and being comforted in the most gentle way.
╰➤ But then again, you never anticipated getting stuck in an elevator with her so…
╰➤ “They are not lame.” You refute, feigning offense. “They're dad jokes.”
╰➤ “Okay, well...” Her attention zeroes in on your nose. One of her hands raises, brushing at it before inspecting a small fuzzy and flicking it away. “Tell me one of them.”
╰➤ Your blink in thought, scanning your brain for one that you haven't told her yet. It's starting to become hard to decipher which jokes you have and haven't shared with Sevika, especially as the months continue to carry on. You fear that you'll run out of them sooner than you’d like to (at least the funny ones) and then you won't know how else to entertain her. 
╰➤ “What do you call a fake noodle?”
╰➤ Her forehead scrunches as she ponders on a possible answer. 
╰➤ A slow smile curves at your lips while you mutter, “An impasta.”
╰➤ You can practically see the gears in her brain shifting before she registers the pun. Her lips are puffy from constantly being chewed on when they pull into a playful scowl. The tiniest wrinkles appear along the slope of her nose as she scrunches it, eyes peering at you through narrowed slits.
╰➤ “You're ridiculous.”
╰➤ That causes you to laugh, heart warming at the slight annoyance in her voice.  “Ridiculously funny and charming? Sure.”
╰➤ “...Oh my god.”
╰➤ “You love my jokes, just admit it.”
╰➤ “Sweetheart…They're not actually yours. I know you google them.”
╰➤ “ It's my delivery though. No one delivers jokes better than I do. It takes actual skill.”
╰➤ “Somehow, I find that hard to believe.”
╰➤ “...There's the timing you have to consider and the vocal inflection.” Your hands fall down her arms, resting in your lap as they tug on one another. “It involves real artistry.”
╰➤ “How dumb of me to think otherwi-”
╰➤ “Oh, thank you! God! Thank you!”
╰➤ You jump at Shane’s outburst, examining the way he stands to his feet, a grin breaking across his face. He’s pointing at the elevator doors, which are now closing. A low hum fills the air. Soon after, the sound of cogs becomes louder and the elevator begins moving.
╰➤ You and Sevika startle at the sudden shift, moment now broken. When you peer at her, she's smiling softly, grey irises drinking in every one of your features. 
╰➤”I told you we’d be okay.” She says.
╰➤You're too relieved to properly respond, allowing her to help you stand up instead. 
╰➤ The intercom beeps and a voice says, "Rescue team here. Please remind us how many people are there with you?"
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╰➤ “If you feel any sort of stress from today, please don't hesitate to use this number.” Cam says as he shoves a business card into your hand.
╰➤ You roll your eyes. “I’ll be fine. I swear.”
╰➤ “There's no shame in using the services, I promise. Just input your employee number and the company code on the website and it’ll—”
╰➤ “Cam,” Your left hand reaches up to squeeze his shoulder. You make sure to hold his gaze. “I’m totally fine now, I promise. I’ll admit that it shook me up a little, because it felt like we were going to be stuck in there forever. But everything's okay.”
╰➤ He scans your face, searching for any sign that you're being untruthful. When he doesn't find any, he nods smally. “Go home.” His stare becomes stern. “Take it easy for the next few days.”
╰➤ “Cam—”
╰➤ “I’m serious! If you go back to your office for the rest of the day, I’ll take a deduction from your wages.”
╰➤ You roll your eyes, “That doesn’t sound legal.”
╰➤ “I’m sorry, I can't hear you anymore.” He shrugs his shoulders, pacing a few steps backwards. “I have meetings to attend now.” He doesn't allow you to object, adding, “Have a good weekend, kid,” before turning around and leaving the room.
╰➤ It hasn't been long since you’ve been rescued from the elevator—maybe 30 minutes, at most. Cam made his way over to the three of you once he received notice of everything. You feel relatively fine. The medics accessed you first, since you seemed to be the most shaken up when they arrived. And ever since they finished, Cam has somehow convinced himself that you, Shane and Sevika should take the rest of the day off.
╰➤ He also seemed adamant about offering you the free therapy services that your company provides, hence the business card in your hand. But you feel like it might be a desperate gesture to cover his ass. Surely, this isn't the first time that someone's been stuck in the elevator while on the clock.
╰➤ The medic team seems to just be finishing their assessment with Sevika and Shane now. You stand off to the side, watching helplessly, as Sevika sits in a chair and chats casually with a buff paramedic woman. 
╰➤ The three of you were momentarily moved to a nearby conference room when rescued from the elevator. One of the office supervisors said it was to give you all a space to “wind down and decompress.” But you're pretty sure it's because the company is trying to gloss over the elevator incident. 
╰➤ The door to the conference room opens and you're met with the familiar face of Kai. Their eyes are wide—frantic—as they scan the area. 
╰➤ “Dude,”  They gasp, attention on Sevika. “You won't believe the stuff that's circulating the office right now…it's some crazy shit!”
╰➤ Then they’re grabbing one of the chairs closest to Sevika, plopping down in it. “Are you guys okay? Seriously, what the fuck happened?”
╰➤ “We were stuck in that stupid contraption.” Shane butts in. “We could have died and they only care about giving us PTO and a stupid link to telehealth.”
╰➤ It's the first time you've heard him talk since stepping off of the elevator. 
╰➤ “I missed my damn appointment and the fee I’ll get charged is ridiculous,” He slams his hand on the table, fingers spreading out against the surface and jaw grinding. “I’m gonna sue these motherfuckers.”
╰➤ Surrounding medics have been slowly packing up their equipment, but they momentarily freeze at the sound of Shane's threat. The one closest to Sevika lifts an eyebrow, expression bemused as she pockets her phone. 
╰➤ “I’m not sure if you can do that, Shane.” Kai quirks. Their eyes dance with humor as they swallow a chuckle.
╰➤ “I’m 62. I can do whatever the hell I want!”
╰➤ Kai nods, slightly taken aback. “Touché.”
╰➤ Shane grumbles under his breath, standing to his feet with the help of a nearby medic. He’s slightly hunched over, gripping the lower part of his back while he hobbles to the entrance door.
╰➤ “Bye Shane!” You call.
╰➤ He waves you off irritably, not bothering to turn around and give you a proper farewell.
╰➤ “And they said you fainted when the rescue team came,” Kai turns to you, expression morphing into something kinder. You think you see their eyes travel to Sevika for a split second, but you conclude that it’s just your overactive imagination. “How are you feeling now?”
╰➤ You laugh incredulously, “Do people just live to gossip here? That was barely an hour ago.”
 ╰➤ “It's not like there's much else to do around these parts,” Kai grins wickedly. “Besides the scandalous office romances that people chat about. But that's old news. This is the most exciting thing we’ve had since Christmas!”
╰➤ You laugh harder, hands coming up to rest against your cheeks as you work through your shock. “That's one way to put it.”
╰➤ The three of you are alone now since the last two medics managed to slip out of the room inconspicuously. And now it's harder to escape the overwhelming fatigue that looms in the air. Secretly, you thank Cam for giving you the rest of the day off.
╰➤ “I have to get back soon. I’m supposed to be meeting the Amazon delivery driver in t minus one minute.” 
╰➤ “Oh my god,” Sevika rumbles, shoving her friend out of their seat. “Go do your job.”
╰➤ “Yes ma’am.” Kai wipes their hands on their jeans, leaning down and kissing Sevika on the cheek before ruffling her hair. “I’m glad you didn't like, die or anything, loser.”
╰➤ Sevika merely grunts.
╰➤ Kai winks at you, “Bye lovebirds!”
╰➤ And then there were two. 
╰➤ You carefully pivot to face the herculean woman a few feet away from you. The crease between her brows, even though heavily prevalent when Kai was here many seconds ago, are now gone. She stares at you for a beat, lower lip caught between her teeth and hands drumming against the muscles of her thighs. 
╰➤ “Sorry about Kai. They're a bit childish sometimes.” Sevika mutters. But despite her words, you can tell she thinks fondly of Kai. 
╰➤ “I like them.” You find yourself admitting. “They’re funny.”
╰➤ “They’re annoying.”
╰➤ Her lips twitch into the smallest hint of a grin. Your own smile grows and subsequently, her eyelids flutter. In the midst of today's chaos and fading professionalism, the heart of something tender passes between the both of you. The air cracks and sparks fly. It's fleeting—but it's there.
╰➤ Her throat jostles as she swallows, “How are you feeling?” 
╰➤ There's an unmistakable burn within you that her question creates. “I’m better than before.” 
╰➤ Her eyes trail down your body, then back up to your face. You assume that it's a mistake. But then her gaze wanders again, and this time it's for longer. This time, it has more intent.  Your stomach flips.
╰➤ Her lips barely move when she responds, “Good.”
╰➤ You sense the moment slipping away, and a tiny part of your brain nudges you to leave the room and go home. God-forbid Cam stumbles back in and sees that you're still here. But for some reason, you hover.
╰➤ “Thanks for earlier, by the way,” Your tongue feels heavy in your mouth and your hands are growing clammy. “For helping me and stuff.”
╰➤ And stuff.
╰➤ You're not sure if thanking her for the other stuff is appropriate, considering you were practically straddling her and holding onto her in ways that's crossed many, many lines. But that seems to be the ongoing trend between you and Sevika; you cross too many lines with her.
╰➤ “No need to be thanking me.” 
╰➤ You shrug, “...Was still kind of you.”
╰➤ Her lips rub together and that's when you realize how soft they look. A small hum escapes her and you watch inquisitively as she opens her mouth. 
╰➤ But then nothing comes out, leaving her with a slack jaw and gaping mouth. Your brows start to furrow, chest tightening while several more beats pass and Sevika remains dazed. 
╰➤ A whooshing sound fills the air due to the AC turning on. Dust particles begin to circulate around you, and your ankles are tickled by the new draft blowing from the vents.
╰➤ “Is everything okay?” You try to keep the worry out of your voice, but the shift in her is abrupt.
╰➤ Her eyes cloud over with something indescribable, a sense of apprehension rolling off of her in thick waves. 
╰➤ “Um,” Her words drag and her eyes dart away from you. They settle on an empty space between you and the nearby wall. Her body is completely rigid, as if the floor will give out at any moment. “Would you ever want to hang out?”
╰➤ Your heart crawls up the walls of your esophagus, beating with all of it’s might.
╰➤ You shift your feet, then tug at your fingers.
╰➤ “Like, outside of work?” She clarifies. She dodges your eyes, settling on the other details of you instead; like your restless feet and your fidgeting hands.
╰➤ “You’d want to do that?”
╰➤ “Well,” She gives you a sidelong glance. “I wouldn't be asking you if I didn't.”
╰➤ Your internal debate resolves and your smile stretches wide—so wide that you think your cheeks are becoming sore.
 ╰➤ “Oh,” Your voice is barely above a whisper, so you have to clear your throat. “Okay. Well, I want to also.”
╰➤ She mirrors you and breaks into a silly grin, gap visible and nose wrinkling. 
╰➤ “Just let me know when,” You add. “And I’ll be down.” 
╰➤ “How about Saturday?”
╰➤ “Um—wow. I didn't know you meant so soon. Will Kai be okay with you choosing the day on their behalf?”
╰➤ Her eyebrows shoot up. “Kai?” 
╰➤ “Yeah, have you even asked if…” Oh.
╰➤ Oh.
╰➤ Your gut ignites at the revelation.
╰➤ The greys in her irises darken an alluring shade. 
╰➤ “Okay,” You nod, understanding completely now. She doesn't need to say anything more for you to realize the full weight of her offer.
╰➤ God.
╰➤ Oh God.
╰➤ You've dreamt about this moment for months but you never thought it’d actually come true.
╰➤ “Okay,” She parrots. “It's a date, then?”
╰➤ Your toes curl inside your shoes. Nodding enthusiastically, you confirm, “Definitely.”
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╰➤  You never are the type to enjoy the action of driving cars.
╰➤ It’s mostly to do with the fact that your life could very well be in someone else’s hands. The likelihood of surviving another day without being in a car accident feels like sheer luck sometimes. 
╰➤ But your road anxiety is heightened even more as you brave the heavy city traffic, trying not to pee your pants at the idea of being near Sevika in less than an hour.
╰➤ You exhale, drumming your fingers against the steering wheel restlessly. Why is this taking so long?
╰➤ After ages of waiting, you’re finally able to get to the other side of town. It’s quieter here and far less busy. Sevika texted you the suggestion this morning and you immediately agreed–the quieter, the better.
╰➤ But your heart stops when you find yourself parked in front of a towering brownstone building, with multi-story terraces and sleek black protective gates. The streets are nearly empty and the distant chirp of birds fill the air.
╰➤ Your lips are pulling into a frown when you look at your phone screen, reading, You have arrived at your destination for the nth time.
╰➤ Swiping away from the GPS app, you allow your thumbs to click on Sevika’s contact number. 
╰➤ Two rings sound before she answers, “Hello?”
╰➤ “Hi–” You crane your neck to look out of your window. “I think I‘m here? I’m not sure where your place exactly is though...”
╰➤ You hear shuffling on the other line along with the soft hum of music. Then you see movement from a window on the second floor. Curtains are pushed aside and a familiar figure comes into view. The sliding glass of the terrace door is pushed open, and she’s sticking her head out, scanning the row of cars lined up along the street. 
╰➤ “Oh,” You breathe, heart stuttering. “Nevermind. I see you.”
╰➤ You remain seated in your car, like an idiot, while her eyes lock with yours.
╰➤ Then she grins, which is a heartbreakingly beautiful thing to witness. 
╰➤ “Sorry for being late,” You rasp into the receiver, eyes never leaving hers. “I got stuck in traffic.”
╰➤ “You’re two minutes late, sweetheart.” Her voice is thick with amusement. “That’s hardly anything to fuss about.”
╰➤ The following stretch of nothing is almost too painful to bear. Something is holding you back from stepping out of the car. Whether it be fear or nerves, you can’t really tell. All you know is that this feels like uncharted territory. 
╰➤ “I’ll come down and get you,” She says. You nod. She disappears into her apartment and the line goes dead.
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╰➤ The air of Sevika’s apartment smells overwhelmingly like her: woodsy with a hint of apple cinnamon. Your shoes click against the floorboard when she guides you through the doorway, knuckles brushing against your forearm and leaving a fire in its wake. 
╰➤ “This is me.” Her voice is soft around the lock of the deadbolt and chain guard. There’s a lowly dimmed lamp hanging from the ceiling, a coat rack placed in the corner and a sitting bench to your left.  She looks over slowly–hesitantly; as if she’s trying to gauge your reaction.
╰➤ You find yourself swallowing thickly as you’re smacked with another smell of her. 
╰➤ When you don’t respond, she toes out of her shoes, movements quiet and swift. Silently, you follow her lead. She gathers your boots with hers and positions them underneath the sitting bench. 
╰➤ “This way,” She mumbles. You allow her to side-step, walking down the hall and toward a connecting room, where you faintly see a burgundy living room set. The walk down the corridor almost feels too quick, since you keep getting distracted by the countless art and picture frames lined up on her wall. You realize that the walls appear to be so decorated that you don’t see much of the paint. 
╰➤ Her living room appears to be similar, littered with different pieces of art and photographs that you could stare at for hours if given the chance. The atmosphere is tranquil but the furniture and color scheme is deliberate and poised. The ceiling is much higher than yours and the windows are fairly large. Much of the interior is splashed with dark velvety hues of red and purple. 
╰➤ Two brimming bookshelves stretch to the ceiling, lined with countless collections of CDs and novels. The brick fireplace is already lit and emmenates a warm glow around the room. Sevika’s gaze is clear and level when you peer at her. And her eyebrows lift inquisitively. 
╰➤ “It’s…” Your voice cracks, causing you to clear your throat. “This is really nice.” 
╰➤ Her head is tilted, eyes squinting ever-so-slightly with a nature that is purely meditative; as if she’s trying to pick out any signs of dishonesty. The burning sensation of her dissection is potent. Your mouth pools with saliva as the seconds tick by.
╰➤ A low whistle escapes you as you try to compensate for the tension. “Why so quiet?” Your legs shuffle.
╰➤ She licks her lips and hums. “Just trying to make sure this is okay.”
╰➤ “What?” Your eyebrows are furrowing.
╰➤ She gestures at your surroundings, “This. My home—at least, that you’re comfortable being here. If you prefer to spend time in a more public place, then…”
╰➤ “Oh.” Your features relax. She’s trying to be polite. “No. This is fine, Sev. I’m always comfortable around you.” You wipe your sweaty palms against the material of your pants. 
╰➤ Her eyes follow the movement of your hands, before they linger on the lower half of your body for the tenth of a second while her jaw flexes. You gaze at her with growing anticipation due to the dead silence. She takes a long inhale through her nose, refocusing her attention back to your eyes with what seems like a great deal of concentration. 
╰➤ A shaky smile spreads across your lips. You travel over to one of the nearby bookshelves, which holds a CD player that’s currently playing a smooth jazz solo. You have to find something to do—anything—other than stand there and grow lustful under her pressing gaze. 
╰➤ “You have quite a collection,” You begin.
╰➤ Your back is turned to her as you look through the cases that are neatly stacked together. Despite being covered with clothing, the skin of your back grows hot, as if her gaze is seeping straight through the material of your shirt.
╰➤ “A lot of them were my parents. They loved collecting music.”
╰➤ You don't have the heart or gall to mention the past-tense reference of her parents. Instead, you nod. 
╰➤ You feel like you're hypervigilant to everything about her in that moment. The sound of her weight traveling across the carpet becomes heightened, and the hairs on the back of your neck stand when you see her shadow appearing out of the corner of your eye. When you look towards your left, you struggle to contain the zoo that rips through your stomach. She's close. Very close.
╰➤ Her shoulders brush against yours while she reaches across you to turn down the stereo. "You can pick something else if you want," Her voice dips into something low and syrupy. "I don't know what type of music you like." Then she's walking away. Your eyes follow her as she disappears into another room. "Are you thirsty?"
╰➤ "I'll listen to practically anything as long as it's not country." You shuffle through the CD's, stopping when a particular one catches your eye. A classic. "What do you have?"
╰➤ Once you've replaced the CD with one of your choice, you mosey into the other room to join her. It's a kitchen, fairly minimalist compared to the living room, and painted with nearly all black decor. The sight of Sevika standing there is unfamiliar. Her hair is tied up in a half up half down, small tendrils escaping and brushing against the sides of her face. Her nose is wrinkled, eyes squinted and lip rolled inwards.
╰➤ She leans most of her weight onto her hands, which are resting on the surface of the kitchen island. Her sleeves are rolled up to her elbows, and attention is focused acutely on a book that's sitting on the counter. Something savory wafts in the air and you spy a stove behind her that seems to be emanating an exceptional amount of warmth.
╰➤ "Um," you mumble. "Is everything okay?"
╰➤ Her eyes flicker up to meet yours, at first holding something distant, before they cloud over with an undeniable light. Her hands tighten into fists, pressing against the marble countertop before she relaxes them. Then she's standing upright, one arm falling to her side while the other rubs against her forehead. "I'm..." Her words trail off as she glances at the watch on her wrist. "Fuck."
╰➤ Then she's whipping around, opening the oven door. A small cloud of smoke appears.
╰➤ "What are you cooking?" You close the distance between the two of you, swiping through the smoke before peering into the oven.
╰➤ "Nothing anymore." She sighs. "It was supposed to be—"
╰➤ "Lasagna."
╰➤ You reach for the oven mitts sitting on the nearby countertop, slipping them on before grabbing the deep-dish pan.
╰➤ "I noticed you have it a lot." She continues. "I just thought—since you seem to like it..."
╰➤ You set it on the hot pads, inspecting the top layer of the pasta dish.
╰➤ "Actually, it doesn't look too bad." You say. "It'll have to go back in, and we'll need to turn the heat down to 375, so that it cooks all the way through the layers without scorchi—"
╰➤ That's when it hits you.
╰➤ "Wait," You abruptly right yourself, snapping your head towards her. She's already watching you, drinking in everything you were saying. Her eyebrows raise at your outburst. Hands still covered in mittens, you're stepping around her, doing a double take at the book that's still open on the kitchen island. "Is that a cookbook?"
╰➤ She doesn't immediately respond.
╰➤ When you crane you neck to get a better look, you're barely registering the words Classic Homemade Lasagna Recipe before her large hand abruptly lands on the book with a loud smack! Her fingers are outstretched, keeping you from being able to see majority of what's written. But it's too late, your assumption has already been proven right.
╰➤ The book is shut before you can say anything else. She opens an overhead cupboard, sliding it in there with one quick motion.
╰➤ "Oh my god," You fight off a wave of giggles, lips stretching into a wide grin. "That was definitely a cookbook."
╰➤ She brushes a few loose hairs out of her face and chooses to avoid your gaze.
╰➤ The stillness that follows is nearly unbearable. In the distance, you hear the current song from the CD player fading out. A car is honking from the street outside and the buzz of the AC comes on. You're still turned towards her, hands covered by her oven mitts and cheeks aching from the smile on your face. She continues to dodge you; resolute.
╰➤ You can't contain your laughter anymore. It's bellows out of you like a songbird breaking free from its cage. That seems to finally draw her attention, and wills her to glance at you. Upon locking eyes, slowly, she smiles an equally warm grin.
╰➤ And just like that, the elastic band of tension that existed all evening snaps.
╰➤ Her laughter quickly follows yours, deeper and soothing and just as beautiful as the last time you heard it. Her rigid stance melts away and her fingers relax.
╰➤ "Sev, why—" You wet your lips. "You didn't have to go out of your way to a get recipe and make this. I would have been fine with take-out."
╰➤ "Kai sent me the link to the cookbook yesterday and I figured why not. It was only $20," She rolls her eyes. "Plus it has better reviews that the lasagna recipes I was looking at online."
╰➤ The cookbook was only $20.
╰➤ Adrenaline courses through your veins from such an implication. Sevika bought a cookbook just to make one of your favorite foods. No one's ever done something like that for you before.
╰➤ No one's ever paid close enough attention to even notice your love for lasagna.
╰➤ The way Sevika always manages to nonchalantly flatter you will forever be something you struggle to fathom.
╰➤ You're biting the inside of your cheek, trying your best to contain your buzzing excitement as you place the pan back into the oven. Your back remains turned to her, stomach flipping and fingers nimble.
╰➤ "This is very kind of you to do," You find yourself muttering.
╰➤ "I mean," The sound of her body weight shifting is subtle. "It's our first date. It's the least I could do."
╰➤ "Still kind."
╰➤ You don't allow yourself to brush over one of her many kind gestures. You don't allow yourself to take any of this for granted. Sevika has been very good to you, especially in a world where people haven't been in the past. Often times, she's been more than just your friendly coworker.
╰➤ Whether she wants to admit it or not, she's the one who's actually a sweetheart.
╰➤ "Why don't you like to accept my compliments?" You inquire. You take off her oven mitts, setting them on a nearby counter-space before turning around. Droplets of perspiration trickle down your forehead and the back of your neck. You wipe them away with the palm of your hand, stepping away from the searing hot oven and towards her.
╰➤ Sevika is resting against the kitchen island, arms crossed over her chest and eyes solely fixed on you. You don't miss the way her jaw flexes as you come closer. But you choose to ignore it, positioning yourself to where your right hip is pressed against the island cupboards, just off of Sevika's left shoulder.
╰➤ "Because most of the time, I'm not doing anything extraordinary." She wrinkles her nose. "It's the bare minimum, actually."
╰➤ "Well," You almost come to a standstill as you rack your brain for an appropriate response. "I still appreciate it."
╰➤ That's when you send her a smile. Similar to an innate feeling, you expect her to return the gesture, since there's never really been a time that Sevika hasn't.
╰➤ But the seconds continue to stretch and her smile never appears.
╰➤ Her lips part and her throat bobs as she swallows thickly. You don't think you've seen her eyes look so lucid before.
╰➤ A part of you wants to be consumed by her. You want her to have you; in whatever way that would mean for her. You'd be happy with any scenario. But another part also wants you to remain present in this moment; to fully cling onto every moment that passes with you in her presence. It's a heartbreakingly beautiful conundrum to be in.
╰➤ "The bare minimum barely checks off the list. You know that, right?" Her voice is firm during this wake of silence. Assertive. Strong. But her words manage to undue something within you; something you didn't even know was tightly wound to begin with. "You deserve to receive so much more than the bare minimum from someone. And you deserve to not have to thank them for that."
╰➤ She says it with such conviction that you almost believe that she's been thinking about this for a while.
╰➤Hearing those words nearly break you.
╰➤ They're arguably obvious. But despite how much the general public likes to make instagram captions and TedTalks about it, you've never really been told this before. Not directly. Not with such certainty.
╰➤ "And," She wets her lips, eyes darting away from you for the first time. "Of course I don't want to be too full on this soon. I'd like to think cooking you one of your favorite foods would give me a good start. But there's—" She's shaking her head with creases forming in between her brows. "...a lot more that I want to offer to you other than shitty lasagna."
╰➤ You don't respond for a beat as you feel a new unspoken surge of energy igniting between you two. It's takes form as an invisible current, growing with each ticking second.
╰➤ Her attention doesn't waver, remaining clear and steady and safe. You find it hard to breathe with the careful way that she's studying you. Air pacts into your lungs at an alarming rate and your heart beats a mile a minute while your throat locks.
╰➤ Your lips part. Then, "What else are you wanting to offer?"
╰➤ You watch as she cards her fingers through her hair. There's a bounce to her silky locks that leads you to believe it's been very recently washed. If you step forward more, all you have to do is reach up to touch it. She's so close.
╰➤ Incredibly close.
╰➤ You don't know how it's happened but somewhere deep inside of you, where the abandoned and empty house of your life resided, a bright light has been ignited. Somehow, that house is no longer empty. It's no longer cold. Sevika has managed to cast an exceptional amount of life into you.
╰➤ Everything becomes watery at the revelation; her black marble countertops, her crème colored button-up, the swirling grey of her irises. It's all blurry. You struggle to blink away your welling tears.
╰➤ How typical of you to get emotional during a time like this...
╰➤ Sevika doesn't reply. She just peers at you with an expression that makes her look as if she's short circuiting. The air is warm, with the oven being heated to a scorching 375 degrees just a few feet away. It's warm and Sevika doesn't falter in managing to unravel you from her regard. It's warm, and your hands are reaching out. It's warm because it's her. She's the warmth.
╰➤ Your hands stop mid-reach, hovering in the air as she fleetingly glances at them. Your pulse thumps against the side of your neck; eyelids fluttering. "What else?" You press. A gentle nudge. A plead.
╰➤ You need to hear her say it; for the sake of confirming that everything is requited.
╰➤ She closes the rest of the distance by grabbing your hands with hers. They're larger and wrap around yours without any extra effort. The gesture is small. But it somehow still causes your legs to nearly give out. She tugs you, urging you closer. You stumble as you give into her magnetic pull. But you're too caught up in all that she is to truly feel embarrassed by it.
╰➤ "I want to offer you everything good." Sevika states it firmly; earnestly. "I don't feel that with people very often. But you," She squeezes your hands, puffing out a heavy exhale. Her breath brushes over your face, minty and enticing. "...I'd do anything to bring goodness into your life."
╰➤ "You already have." The lump in your throat explodes, almost blowing it out completely. Your voice is hoarse—thick with emotion.
╰➤ Her breathing becomes shaky and her mouth falls open. You watch as shock transforms itself onto her features.
╰➤ "Seeing you everyday in that stuffy break room...getting to know you and being able to talk to you," You continue, head bowing as you try to gather your thoughts in a way that won't overwhelm her. "Those days rest with me right here." You bring both your hands and hers to rest against your chest. "I already hold a deep tenderness for you. And it's something that's only for you. Do you know that?"
╰➤ She keenly follows your lips as you speak, leaning so closely now that her forehead grazes against yours. The movement is painstakingly subtle but it still makes your surroundings blacken. The feeling that takes over is close to a rebirth; like being pushed into the ocean by yourself and somehow resurfacing with Sevika fundamentally built into you.
╰➤ And when she kisses you, you know, down to the marrow of your bones, that this is something holy. Teeth clatter and hunger intensifies. Her hands have found solace by clinging onto the rolls of your hips, digging into you, hooking you to her. Ink becomes imprinted onto your heart, screaming—scrawling—Sevikasevikasevikasevika endlessly.
╰➤ She trembles slightly when you press against her; your hands resting against the firmness of her biceps. You reach for her further, never fully satiated, while your toes pull you upwards. Your neck cranes and your chest constricts from the way you desperately lean against her. You're chasing her—her mouth, her smell, her lips, her taste—and she welcomes you with just as much desperation.
╰➤ She's whispering, "...okay, okay," her voice a gentle echo. Her fingers curl into you, positively leaving marks. "I definitely know now."
╰➤ Sevika transforms from warmth to burning heat at that moment. You cherish the feeling.
╰➤ Somewhere, not too far away, a celestial body explodes.
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╰➤ When she's lifting your shirt off of you, the burgundy color of her duvet being lit by a bright moon shining through her window, that same feeling of your world revitalizing returns.
╰➤ A mix of soft sighs and oh sweetheart and countless cresting follows. Your legs quiver and symphonies sound in your ears while she devours you as if you're her last meal.
╰➤ "Don't stop," you continuously plead, drunk off of the beautiful disaster that such a person could cause.
╰➤ She whispers into your skin, mouthing—kissing—and nipping, with a broken voice, "I won't. I promise."
╰➤ I promise.
╰➤ I promise.
╰➤ I promise.
╰➤ The headboard cracks. There's laughter, and snack breaks and savory kisses.
╰➤ And when you're lapping into her with unadulterated vehemence, giving her everything that she wants to take, you promise too.
╰➤ You'll promise everyday if she asks you to.
╰➤ You'll promise until your life expires—until the world ends. Until she decides that she doesn't want you anymore.
╰➤ Long gone are the moments of uncertainty; of hesitancy.
╰➤ After the both of you have recovered from chasing such a high, her arm remains draped over your waist, tugging you into her. She mumbles, "Stay," with a vulnerability that has you shaking your head before a beat of silence can pass.
╰➤ "Always."
╰➤ Another explosion emerges; this time larger. A supernova.
╰➤ Your lips press against her throat. She shivers. Her grip tightens. The moon shines brighter.
╰➤ Always.
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cherryrouge · 1 month
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cherryrouge's masterlist ౨ৎ.
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aperture (harry & photographer!y/n)
depth of field (part ii.) (coming soon!)
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I have an idea:
Fable SMP S1 Secondary School AU.
I have so many thoughts about this idea, but I don’t have the time rn to write so I’m putting them here.
-Rae is the half brother of the Principal Fable’s son, Icarus. He’s in Year Nine (13-14 years old), and most people are friendly with Rae because he’s willing to tutor people.
-Icarus is a Sixth Form student and gives Rae a hard time sometimes. Their mutual friend, Centross, in Year Eleven (15-16 years old) sticks up for Rae a lot.
-Caspian is a recent transfer to the school and Rae’s been assigned to be his buddy.
-Caspian immediately joins the Creative Writing Club and meets Strawberri.
-Strawberri is the mother friend to Jamie and Easton, two Year Eights.
-Enderian is the Headmistress of another school in the area, Fable’s school’s rival.
-Athena is a Year Eight who hangs around Rae a lot and is trying to get him to be more involved in school activities and events.
-Rae is a member of the STEM Club.
Feel free to use my ideas if you want. I’ll do my best to remember to add more.
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pringledraws · 27 days
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I haven't posted anything in a while so I am announcing what the FNAF x H&H x TWF is called! So it's called Fall of the Family Tree!
Me and Friend/adopted dad are making a full time line and story with some other friends like @cherrychan-0110 n @chrismangaming !
You get to understand the relationships between each character and OC (I have a discord server as well if you want your OC to be part of the story DM me or ask me for the link!)
Anyways have these silly little girls! Thank you for reading!
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"My daddy is making me a robot just for me! She is gonna be the best robot that you have ever seen!" -Elizabeth
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itsagrimm · 6 months
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Writing Castles and Palaces
Every once in a while I see reverences of castles in writing with stories set there and characters frolicking through castle gardens. As someone growing up in a region with a castle on basically every bigger hill and at every corner, I would like to offer my support how to write stories in Castles and castle-like buildings:
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Pick a place
Depending on the region and time the story is set in, the castle and its conditions will look very different. Castles or fortified buildings with some military or representative value are a near global phenomenon. So it's important to think of a place to set the castle in: is it a castle from Europe like the Tower of London? Is it a Castle like the one in Osaka, Japan? Maybe a fort in Africa like the Cairo Citadel or Chapultepec Castle in Latin America?
2. Pick a time
Castles changed a lot in their appearance depending on the time frame they are set it. In Europe the early medieval castles had a high military value and were an expression of feudal power. That meant those castles were not build to be comfortable but primarily military bases. Later post-medieval castles function more as representative palaces yet often get called Castles in English as well. Those types of Palace-castles tend to be more liveable but also often lack the militaristic purpose. Outside of Europe the time of the castle build also matters a lot. Is it a castle build by Locals? Is it Europeans with an imperial intend? Or is it some rich guy replicating a castle on his private island?
3. Pick a function
As aforementioned Castles changed a lot during time and space they are set in. But they also look very differently depending on their function. If it's a prison or holding a vault the Castle will look more intimidating and there will be very little regard for its living conditions except for possible guards or high value prisoners. If it's a military installation it will hold more comfortable living quarters for personnel as well as more workers to maintain the fighting force. And if it's a representative building like a kings castle then there will be a lot of pomp and splendor like elaborate decorative gardens, various buildings with entertainment purpose, plenty of nice living space for the higher class, and living quaters for the personnel. Obviously functions can overlap - a military castle can also serve as a prison, a representative Palace can also include military installations. If those functions are combined they affect the appearance and liveability of the castle so that needs to be kept in mind when writing those.
Medieval European Castles
To show you how time, space and function impact a castles conditions, I'll stick to European Castles bc that's what I know most about and bc I know those castles and can describe their feel.
A military Castle
Altdahn: build in the 13th century in Palatina-Rhine as part of the defense for the Diosese of Speyer. It is part of a group of castles surrounding the town of Dahn. The castle saw military action several times, got burned, rebuild and adapted a lot during its time of use. It also served as a family manor for the von Dahn family line however they relocated in the 15th century into a more liveable palace. Like most military Castles Altdahn had 2 courtyards and a belfry tower. Also it's always very cool up there in the rooms with wind and the massive stones making it very unpleasant to be in for a longer period. Since glass was expensive, it's likely than not all rooms had proper windows so in plenty of rooms it would have been cold or dark from closed window shutters. Living there must have been hell, especially in winter. So those who had the misfortune to be there all the time must have dressed up very warmly and likely picked every chance to get down into the town or were able to invest in the expensive logistics of constantly carrying up firewood up there as well as opting for expensive carpets and tapestry to add warmth. (picture below)
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A prison Castle
Fort Königsstein: Most of its time in service the fort was used as a garrison, prison and vault due to being situated on a plateau high above the surrounding area. The fort is far away from bigger cities like Dresden and used to be somewhat isolated in the mountains before the building of modern infrastructure. It went through several changes over time to make it more palace like and nicer to live in. However, even the cultivated forest on the fort plateau served as a reserve in case of siege; the bleak stone walls and the massive entrance complex make the forts purpose as a militaristic and isolating prison abundantly clear. Königstein was known as an infamous prison during the reign of the Saxon kings and even after the end of the kingdom of Saxony in 1922 the fort held prisoners of war up until the end of WW2 in 1945. Depending of the part of the castle the feeling is pleasant to isolating and cold due to the wind and the thick stone walls. Also walking there from the next bigger settlement takes a while. (picture of Königsstein below)
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A Palace-Castle
Castle Schwerin: While some form of fortification existed on this spot since the the 9th century as part of a Sorbian settlement, the castle in its now existing form hardly passes as a pragmatic military fortification. Remodelled from 1844 to 1857 it served as the main residence and representative Palace for the Mecklenburgian dukes and Grand-dukes. The Castle is in the middle of the town Schwerin and surrounded by grand gardens. Its previous fortified outer walls have been mostly removed. The Castle still has a courtyard and towers. Yet those do not serve any primary logistical or military purpose. The castle rooms were regularly lived in by the duke's family and serve now as the local parliament halls. It's very pleasant and warm inside with the castle being a more modern build and not as exposed to the elements. The throne room and ministerial offices were within the castle. The building includes enough space to house not just the family and its servants but also higher guests, their entourage and castle guard. The castle feels fairytale-eske because it's supposed to as a rich and pleasant representative residence for the feudal family right in the middle of the city. (picture Castle Schwerin below)
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Honourable mentions of European Castle types and similar buildings:
Hunting castles - serve no purpose except to house hunting parties.
Fortified Churches - a Church that doubles as a military sanctuary in times of (medieval) need.
Monasteries - were sometimes fortified.
Villas and Manors - depending on the build they serve similar functions as castles. Often excluded when using the label of castle.
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icy-saturday · 3 months
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"The Copper Trawler"
Concept by Battlestation Four
Introduction
Copper Trawlers are a medium-large breed of lantern. Their temperament can vary from alert and protective, to lively and playful. They have a short pair of legs that they use to run, kick, and jump to higher perches where they can vocalize loudly.
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Vocalizations
Copper Trawlers are a particularly noisy breed and will whistle and sing to their hearts’ content as a sign of affection for their owners. Each lantern has a unique and distinct melody, and they love to sing in groups, so it is recommended to have more than one lantern in your household as they are also a very social breed and will often chatter amongst each other.
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*Not for everyone*
However, owning a Copper Trawler isn’t for everyone. These lanterns are semi-nocturnal and will stay up all night chattering, whistling, and singing into the late hours of the night. Copper Trawlers are recommended for night owls or those with large households (if you plan to own more than one).
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Diet
Their diet consists mainly of both dry and moist grains such as various seeds and oatmeal, and occasional proteins and greens such as fish, eggs, and salads in moderation.
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Copper Trawlers in the Wild (habitat)
Copper Trawlers can be found in coastal forests, often perched high up in thick branches in groups of four or more. Like stated before, they are most active during twilight, post-midnight hours and sometimes even around sunrise. The easiest way to spot a Copper Trawler in the wild is to wait until dark and search for their lights and listen for their various melodies. Males are significantly louder than females and glow slightly brighter as well, making them easier to track down. They also have larger deflectors and a wider build. This is to help them attract mates in the wild.
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Copper Trawlers in the Wild (lifestyle)
Copper Trawlers in the wild make their homes in both large nests in trees and underground dens, similar to foxes and birds of prey. Some lanterns will build large sturdy nests on tall trees, usually on the thickest branches. Others will dig intricate tunnel systems leading to a large and shallow entrance chamber near the surface of the ground often hidden by thick reeds or grass or cleverly placed next to a tree where another group of Copper Trawlers are nesting. The diet of wild Copper Trawlers consists of the same items and can easily be obtained by the lanterns due to their coastal habitat.
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Conclusion
Copper Trawlers, whether wild or domesticated, live in harmony amongst each other, working together to thrive in their surroundings.
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burntsecrets · 6 days
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I'm doing a panel on how to write fanfiction 😆
So my town is having a comic con and entertainment expo, like a small version of Chicago's C2E2.
I signed up to do a panel titled "Beyond Canon: Mastering the Art of Fanfiction Writing." My reason behind doing this panel is to get people excited about writing, as I lead our local writing group.
In the panel, I want to touch on the following:
Introduction to Fanfiction: Define what fanfiction is and its significance in popular culture. Discuss its history and evolution.
Understanding Canon: Emphasize the importance of knowing the source material (canon) thoroughly before writing fanfiction. Discuss ways to research and interpret canon material.
Types of Fanfiction: Explore different genres and styles of fanfiction, such as alternate universe (AU), crossover, fluff, angst, and smut. Discuss the unique challenges and opportunities each genre presents.
Respecting Canon vs. Taking Creative Liberties: Discuss the balance between staying true to canon and taking creative liberties in fanfiction. Explore the ethics of altering or expanding upon established elements of the source material.
Feedback and Community Engagement: Discuss the role of feedback and community engagement in the fanfiction writing process. Explore platforms and communities where writers can share their work, receive feedback, and connect with fellow fans.
Legal and Ethical Considerations: Touch upon legal and ethical considerations surrounding fanfiction, such as copyright issues and respecting the rights of original creators.
The Impact of Fanfiction: Reflect on the broader cultural impact of fanfiction, including its role in fostering community, creativity, and literary analysis.
Q&A Session: Open the floor to questions from the audience, allowing attendees to seek clarification, share their own experiences, and engage in discussion.
Throughout the panel, I want to highlight some incredible fanfictions that have transcended their origins and made their mark in mainstream media as books, TV shows, or movies.
If you know of any fanfictions that have been turned into books, TV Shows, or movies please leave them below! If you have any thoughts or insights on what I should cover in specific areas, I'd appreciate your thoughts below! 😊
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Oooohhh we have another one 😝
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fruity-mercenary · 3 months
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STRYKER AUU!!!!
So this au is part of minor au I decided to grow onto! Kung Lao after the Shujinko incident goes to live with his boyfriend Stryker in New York! He isn’t staying there permanently but until he sees fit and when he thinks everyone will forgive him. (Angst Lao ☹️) But Stryker is in between OIA and NYPD. But hes been kinda sad cause he seems to be the only guy with out any powers. Well after a mission that exhausts the hell out of him, he thinks everything is normal…. Until hes been getting a “Spidey Tingle” is what Kung Lao calls it. But it’s basically he has a feeling something will happen before it happens. He’ll notice little details no one else will. He’ll block or dodge an attack from an opponent seconds before they make it. (The example in the comic) basically hes spider man with heightened senses without the spider part
This is a quick sketch comic and i might draw more and write a fic with it!!
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bobathirstaccount · 4 months
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Chapter 6 of The Quiet God on AO3
Inspired by The Art of Second Place
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piscespetals · 6 months
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Ruin the friendship
summary: you question ellie's feelings + best friends to 'lovers'
word count: about 11k.
content: angst, slow burn, college au, rich!ellie, fluff, mutual pining
this fic was 17k but i just finished editing it after two days, so i hope that it’s pretty decent. happy reading!
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You cursed yourself for the feelings you had grown for your best friend, Ellie Williams.
You were fully aware of how inconvenient it was. 
However, you couldn't help it.
Ellie often kept her feelings boarded up, not divulging much of that side of her unless she felt truly comfortable with a person. Therefore, her vulnerability was something that you cherished. She trusted you. A part of her had to care for you, to some capacity, in order for her to be so candid in your presence.
But in addition to the vulnerability, you also appreciated the connection that you fostered with Ellie. It went beyond any typical friendship; it went beyond any relationship that you ever had with anyone. You couldn't help but love that you could be completely vulnerable with Ellie without shame. You loved the way that she stared intently when listening. It didn’t seem to matter how silly your conversations could sometimes be–Ellie was always there to listen.
She had a way of making your worries fade away. Whenever you two spent time together, nothing else was possibly worth your attention. So, of course, you eventually forced yourself to acknowledge these feelings. Because said feelings were not emotions that you usually had for your other friends.
You sometimes believed that you were silly for having hope. 
There had been moments when you felt as if Ellie was staring longer than necessary, or touched you a bit too often—and certainly more intimately—than normal friends would. But that thought was always discarded when you two were no longer alone—when you were shoved back into the world of Ellie’s friends—and you remembered that she was quite affectionate with every platonic connection that she cared deeply for.
You would be lying if you didn't admit that you often grew jealous. You wanted to be the only person that held Ellie's attention in a special way. It was ridiculous and selfish. But it was true.
You didn’t personally have anything against Ellie’s friends. They couldn’t help their charisma and nepotism status. They couldn't help their tall height, gazelle-like legs, and international fame.
They couldn't help any of it.
But just because they couldn't help it, didn't mean that you didn't feel any less threatened. You weren’t as graceful as them and certainly didn't feel as magnetic. You liked normalcy and everything that came with it. 
Most importantly, you were the opposite of what they were. Frugal, sarcastic, mostly indifferent, somewhat cynical and (as your sister liked to say) 'annoyingly aloof'. You liked keeping a low profile—again, quite the opposite of Ellie’s crowd—and to go with the flow.
The first few times that you hung out with Ellie’s friends, you overheard them voicing your behavior as “arrogant” and “stiff.”
"She's just quiet." Ellie had said in defense. "She only speaks if she’s close to you or if it's absolutely necessary."
And it took a while for her friends to believe that. 
You didn't think that this was because you were some extraordinary person who was different and 'not like the others'. In fact, it was the complete opposite. You were quite ordinary, and content with how average you truly were. But because of this, there was a cultural difference between you and Ellie’s friends. The two worlds were so different, that it was hard to bond. You all were merely acquaintances, connected by a mutual friend. 
You couldn't help but ponder over this as you arrived at Ellie’s home and rang the doorbell.
The door swung open, creaking because the rusty bolts had yet to be fixed. Ellie was wearing a pair of sweats and a gray cotton t-shirt. She was languid, a sign that she'd just woken up, with sleepy eyes and a lazy grin.
"How many times," She drawled slowly, voice thick with sleep. "...Do I have to tell you-"
"Not to ring the doorbell." You mumbled, bored by the same conversation that repeated every Sunday. "Well, judging by your appearance, it seems like a doorbell is the only way you would have answered." You sent your friend a level glance. "It's 3 pm. How much longer were you planning on sleeping in?"
Her grin widened. "Until you showed up."
You hummed lowly, already allowing your attention span to drift away as you stepped through the doorway. Ellie barely moved to the side, causing you to brush against her, which sent an electric jolt through you.
Just when you felt yourself recovering from her touch, you were overwhelmed by the familiar smell of her. Her natural scent was always comforting; a smell of peppermint and soap, an indication that Ellie was becoming deeply domesticated. 
Soon enough, she was locking the entrance door, which caused you to snap out of her thoughts. Feeling incredibly hot in that moment, you heaved a sigh, slipping off your jacket and shoes immediately.
The slight hum of the T.V filled the atmosphere, along with the distant whooshing! of the dishwasher from the kitchen.
"El," You mumbled.
Her hand rested on your lower back, ushering you down the entrance hallway and towards the living room. You shivered at the touch. 
"Hm?" Ellie answered, breath tickling your ear. 
"Why am I here?"
"It's Sunday."
"Yes." You nodded slowly. "But I mean," You swallowed, trying to sort through your thoughts. "You have so many other friends you could spend your Sundays with."
"I don't want to spend Sundays with my other friends. I want to spend them with you." 
Ellie’s hand was slipping from your lower back as you finally stepped into the living room. You left her in an attempt to control your racing heart, grabbing a folded blanket before plopping onto the couch. 
"What's all of this about?" She continued. "I always spend Sundays with you."
You nibbled on your bottom lip, thinking deeply about what to say, how to form it into correct sentences, before finally deciding to give up.
Ellie tried to ignore the flutter in her heart as she stared at you. She knew that you'd established their friendship long ago, but she couldn't help but let her mind drift when you looked the way that you do. 
Friendzoned or not, there was no denying that you were beautiful. Your skinned glowed in the hues of the sunlight, eyes tender and observant, plump lips pulled into a pout—and slightly raw from your constant biting.
There was so much that Ellie wanted to do to you. It made her core stir, tugging at the explicit thoughts that ran through her mind. It took great difficulty for her to gaze at you without feeling inappropriate. 
"If you take a picture, it’ll last longer." You placidly stated, finally breaking the silence. You blinked at her through thick lashes, expression bored.
Ellie’s gaze lingered on your lips before trailing to the rest of you. She wondered how someone so gorgeous could possibly be walking around on Earth without anyone worshiping you. But a wave of appreciation filled her as well. You weren't taken—not yet. She had time. 
You were sporting dark gray leggings and a yellow top. The shirt was one of Ellie’s favorites, something that was accidentally mentioned in passing during a night of movie marathons and endless wine. 
The stretchy, cotton material hugged your legs tightly, highlighting the curve of your hips and thighs. Ellie didn't want to stare too long—she tried her best to be polite with you—so instead, she looked away.
You felt like you could breathe once her gaze was elsewhere. Usually, you loved to have Ellie's undivided attention. A lurch always appeared in your gut and your palms would clam up. However, Ellie had a way about her that could be intense. It was hard for you to read her at times; to understand what she was thinking or why she analyzed you so deeply. So instead, you were often left feeling self-conscious and flustered, which were emotions that never sat well with you.
Your mouth watered when Ellie finally plopped down beside you. You got another whiff of her scent, which caused your eyes to flutter and your heart to jump in your throat. 
You just loved how fresh her entire being was.
Ellie never smelled like a particular perfume. Just newly washed linens and soap, and a hint of peppermint that would waft in her home. She also had an appearance that made her appear fresh. Her skin was always smooth, makeup minimal to highlight the freckles that dotted her face. Her nails remained perfectly trimmed. Overall, Ellie just looked neat and clean; simple. It was attractive.
She was pretty organized. By all means, Ellie's place was never spotless. But her mess was an organized mess. She kept everything folded; dirty clothes designated to one area, comic books stacked in another. The air was always being cleansed with purifiers and fresheners, candles constantly burning, carpet soft and vaccummed. Ellie was the sort of person that kept the pillows fluffed and encouraged coaster usage. She liked to “neatly” pile the dirty dishes in the sink by way of a special order. And she never liked anyone to step inside her home without removing their shoes.
Ellie didn't say anything further on the subject as she momentarily lifted the blanket off of you, crawling under and scooting close.
"It's cold." She mumbled, keeping her gaze on the television.
You smiled softly, heart erupting when her delicate fingers played with yours, before she finally intertwined your hands.
~
"Is that Ellie?" Danielle asked, nudging you. You both were at your campus cafe, sitting comfortably at the lounge with your school work and iced coffee. You were dressed in cotton sweats and a navy blue crewneck. The pants were rolled up to your knees, a makeshift pair of baggy capris, as you absentmindedly tugged at the collar of your crewneck sweater, peering down at your psychology homework with furrowed brows. 
But your attention was diverted the moment that Danielle mentioned Ellie. You snapped your head up, scanning the room lazily before your eyes landed on her. 
There she was, walking towards you both in dark washed skinny jeans, a black tee and worn converse. The sleeves were rolled up to her elbows, displaying her tattooed forearms.
"She’s hot." Danielle added, gawking at your friend. "I always forget how good looking she is."
You snorted at that, but deep down you couldn't help but agree. 
You knew how attractive Ellie was. Hell—you wish that you could just forget about her looks for one single second. You missed the early days of the friendship, the days when you could glance at her without wanting to kiss her breathless. The days where you didn't feel the absolute need to always have her skin against yours. Those were the times of simplicity; of ease. 
“Now I won't be able to focus.” Danielle whispered. You threw an amused glance towards her, suppressing a giggle. "She’s kinda intimidating." Danielle voiced. "But mean women are hot as fuck. So."
Your lips pulled together at the comment, trying to ignore the thick rush of jealousy that filled you. 
But you couldn't really blame Danielle.
Ellie was always prancing around with the aesthetic of a Vans poster model; sporting her button-ups and undershirts and beat up sneakers. 
And her jeans.
God—those jeans.
Not a day passed when they didn't hug her thighs in a way that had your mouth watering, wishing you were kneeled in front of her. Ellie had a habit of rolling up her sleeves, showing off her ink-filled forearms that were constantly decorated with veins. She was a fucking dream.
When Ellie arrived, she pecked your cheeks in greeting. Then she turned to Danielle, kissing her cheek as well which caused a flustered expression to fall over Danielle’s face.
"Being a good student, I see." Ellie observed, plopping down on the couch. Her thigh brushed against your right. You became painfully aware of her close proximity and wanted to do nothing more than sprawl out and lay your head in her lap. But Ellie wasn't the type for PDA, and you knew doing that probably wasn't appropriate anyways.
"I have an exam coming up." You sighed, glancing down at the bulky textbook in your lap. 
Your mind felt overloaded with facts. You didn't know how much longer you should study. It was important to take breaks and not over prepare; this was something that you were aware of. But your test-anxiety always caused you to stress over school material more than you should.
Ellie hummed, grabbing the textbook and closing it. "You look like you're going to pass out so enough of this." She set it on the coffee table a few feet away.
"I've been trying to stop her," Danielle interjected. "She gets paranoid during exams."
"Yeah, I know." Ellie chuckled, shooting you a small smile. 
"I can't afford to flunk anything." You countered. "I need to keep my grades up for my scholarship."
Ellie looked at you, gaze unwavering. "You're a smart girl. I'm sure you'll be fine."
Your mind swam at the compliment. You knew her words shouldn't hold much significance, but you couldn't help feeling slightly light headed whenever Ellie complimented you.
You forced your gaze away. Nervously, you played with the hem of your shorts, mouth pooling with saliva and heart hammering in your chest. What exactly should you say?
It felt silly to be so speechless.
"Well, I have to go." Danielle announced reluctantly.
"Are you sure?" Your eyebrows knitted together.
"Yeah, I have a crap ton of errands to run." Danielle began throwing her textbooks into her backpack. "I'll see ya later. And nice running into you again, Ellie." Danielle made a show of her departure. When she picked up her bag, she leaned over in a way that caused her cleavage to pour out of her shirt and for her ass to round in Ellie’s view. Her fingers wiggled as she waved at Ellie, eyelashes batting and smile coy.
You tried to contain your smile, seeing straight through Danielle’s ruse. If only you had as much confidence as her...
Soon, it was only you and Ellie on the couch. Ellie blinked in amusement, registering the pass that Danielle had openly made. She only met Nicole a handful of times and each encounter seemed to become more flirtatious than the last. Maybe if Ellie wasn't already interested in you, things would be different. But Danielle certainly wasn't you, and the simple reality was that you took up a considerable amount of Ellie’s heart. 
Meanwhile, you found yourself worrying about the opposite. Did Ellie like Danielle? Of course you didn't want to have these thoughts infiltrating your mind. But that was the problem with crushes; they caused you to overanalyze everything.
A soft sigh escaped your lips as you blinked solemnly. Dread planted a seed in your gut, growing with each passing second.
Now, you were disappointed and even a bit sad.
Why couldn't you fall for people that returned your feelings?
~
"I did it." You mumbled, voice thick with disbelief, as you stared down at your phone screen. A bold 88% sat in front of you, causing your lips to pull into a proud smile.
A shocked exhale escaped your lips, eyes staring at the website that showed your final test scores—scores that you were incredibly proud of. 
Ellie shuffled beside you, pausing the TV show with a frown. Her heart jumped out of her chest as she continuously asked you, “What’s wrong,” yet received no reply. 
Did something bad happen?
"I did it." You parroted, this time a bit louder than before and with more confidence. A surprised laugh left you, breathy and short, as you willed yourself to hand Ellie your phone. "I aced all of my finals." You explained.
Slowly, her features morphed into realization. Her eyebrows shot up, a soft grin appearing as she dragged her green eyes to you. "That's great! I told you, didn't I?” Her grin widened. She swiped through your phone, glancing at a few more scores. “I’m so proud of you.”
Oh…
Fuck.
You shifted your weight. There was a sudden desire to leap forward and kiss her until you couldn't breathe. Your thighs clenched and your blinks were becoming rapid. You didn't know what to say without making it awkward—because you could never take compliments well—and also not wanting to make a fool of yourself. 
You laughed instead, trying your best to ignore your stuttering heart. Ellie tended to lay her compliments on thick, so you should be used to it by now. But you still stirred with delight nonetheless.
"I don't know. I mean, now that I think about it, not all of them are perfect scores."
"That doesn't matter. You should be proud of yourself. College is fucking hard." Ellie rubbed a palm against her forehead. "I always think about an alternate universe where I might have gone. But then again, I was never really passionate about dreadful schoolwork and the possible debt so who knows. Maybe it's best that I've taken a route like this."
You tried to picture Ellie in school, or at least a younger version of Ellie there. 
You smiled, "I think you would have done just fine." You admitted honestly. "The younger you probably would have liked the parties and sorority girls a little too much though."
"Yeah?" She laughed, eyes crinkling and laugh lines deepening. "What about me now?"
You paused, trying to filter through your thoughts. You hugged your legs to your chest, resting your chin on your knees as you hummed absentmindedly. Ellie thought you looked exceptionally cute while doing so.
“I could see you as an Engineering major. Or maybe Computer Science?" You observed. "....There's a few men I know with that major—kinda cocky, pompous, annoyingly charming and whatnot. You know....sort of like you."
"Hey!" She laughed breathlessly, slamming a pillow into your face.
"Don't take offense." You giggled. "I was just kidding about the charming part." 
“Fuck. You.” She laughed harder, ramming you with the pillow again. This time, more aggressive.
You stifled your cackles, biting down on your lip. Ellie found herself focusing on them, and how lovely it would be if she could kiss them. She wanted to lean forward and crash her lips against yours with bruising force, to make you squirm for air and cause your lips to swell. 
But she behaved herself, chewing the inside of her cheek instead.
Out of a state of pure adrenaline, you allowed yourself to say, "You're Ellie fucking Williams. You're way cooler than anyone that goes to my college."
"Except for you." Her lips stretched into a cheeky grin. Before she could stop herself, she brushed her forefinger against your chin endearingly. "You’re more brilliant than I’ll ever be."
“Very smooth.” You mused, rolling your eyes as you tried to shake off the compliment. But internally, your insides were knotting with agonizing pleasure.
~
You didn't usually do this.
You tried to deal with problems on your own. You tried to stay silent about them and fight through your emotions in silence. But you were tired of always being 'strong'.
You were tired of never asking for help.
Sometimes, you needed people to lean on. Sometimes, it was okay to let others comfort you. So this was why you showed up to Ellie's home late in the night. 
You suffered from insomnia. You always had it since childhood, and there were certain times throughout the year where it got really bad. It seemed to be exacerbated now since this was your fourth night going through hours without any true sleep.
Your heart was racing, overworked and tired from your lack of rest. A tightening began to form in your temples, alerting you that a migraine was about to creep up, and your eyes were dry. Your body moved languidly and with an alarming rate of exhaustion. You could sleep for eons if only you were given the chance.
You just wanted to be able to rest without a care in the world. To get through your day without terrible bags and heavy eyelids.
So when your clock struck 4am, your first instinct was to call Ellie. You didn't give yourself enough time to think about it or to even negotiate the consequences of calling her so early. 
It took her a while to answer, but when she did, her voice was thick and raspy.
Ellie sounded as if she’d just woken from a deep slumber; voice cracking and speech slow. "What is it?" She mumbled, exhaling softly.
Your brain was running a mile a minute as you talked to her.
"No, you're not a bother. It's okay, I promise it is." She reassured, interrupting your string of apologies. She talked to you for a little while longer, about everything and nothing at all, before she finally said, "Come over. You can sleep with me. Hopefully, it'll help…for tonight, at least."
You were hesitant. You didn't want to impose and it'd been a while since you and Ellie had slept in the same house.
But Ellie wasn't back down and with the passing seconds, she was becoming increasingly adamant about you coming to her. You finally gave in.
Fifteen minutes later, you were standing on her porch, opting for a knock instead of the jarring doorbell that you normally rang.
A few seconds passed before you heard the sounds of the bolts unlocking. Then the door was swinging open. Ellie stood before you, wearing boxers and a tank top. Her hair was messy and sticking in different directions, and her eyes were halfway closed.
"Hey." She whispered, stepping to the side and allowing you in. 
You were relieved to see her, finally feeling at ease for the first time in days.
That's what you loved about Ellie. Her presence always seemed to calm you.
Immediately, you slipped off your shoes, allowing her to grab your hand.
"I'm so tired." You replied, wanting nothing more than to close your eyes and stay asleep for eternity.
When you glanced at Ellie, you noticed the concern that filled her features. Her lips were pulled into a frown, faint worry lines becoming prevalent on her forehead. "I know." She sighed, not happy by her confession.
Ellie wished she could take away your struggles in times like these. You’d briefly opened up to her before about your insomnia. 
Silently, Ellie guided you through her house. The lights remained off, the pathway being illuminated by night lights and the glow of the moon. 
Your tongue was heavy in your mouth. You didn't have the energy to participate in conversation, especially if it was just empty words to fill the silence. You simply wanted to enjoy Ellie’s presence and the feeling of her firm grip around your hand.
You could sense that Ellie was exhausted too by her lack of communication. You felt bad for waking her up at such an ungodly hour, and made a mental note to thank her for everything. She truly was the best friend you ever had. 
~
A sigh escaped your mouth as you stared at your reflection in the mirror, rubbing your skin gingerly with a face wipe.
You tried to get all of the sleep out of your eyes, feeling a bit groggy from the deep slumber that you’d just woken up from. You were sitting on the carpet in front of Ellie’s full body mirror, trying not to look gross for the sake of sparing her eyes. You had just showered, wearing a pair of Ellie’s shirt and boxers, and tried not to become extremely giddy at the fact that you were wearing her clothes. 
But every few minutes, you would be reminded of it and your heart would perform a short dance break.
Even though this was simply another sleepover, it still caused a wave of excitement to fill you. You liked mornings like these; mornings with Ellie.
You rubbed your lips with chapstick, blinking lazily until something caught your attention.
Ellie was still in bed, trying not to be too obvious about watching you, who could easily pass for her girlfriend right now. She wanted to wake up next to you everyday.
She struggled to tear her gaze away from your face, whose eyes were glazed over and half closed. It was apparent that you were still adjusting to being awake.
This was a dream come true for Ellie. You just spent a night in her bed, and now you were wearing her clothes while getting ready in front of her mirror. You looked completely domesticated at this moment. 
Even though she knew it wasn't true, and that you didn't feel that way about her, it was still nice to pretend sometimes that you were hers. Especially during mornings like this.
You were so beautiful that it physically hurt her. 
"Did I do something wrong?" You grumbled, still a bit slighted due to waking up from such a good dream. You peered at Ellie through the mirror, noticing that she’d been observing you for quite some time now. A small part of you was thrilled and wanted to jump for joy. 
Right now, Ellie seemed to be completely transfixed with you and you were loving every single second of it.
But there was also a part of you that was growing self conscious. Ellie was in one of those moods again. The kind of mood that was slightly unnerving because she was picking apart every one of your features without shame. You knew that she probably didn't mean any harm by it, but Ellie wasn't aware of how intimidating her stare could truly be. 
"No." Ellie smiled. "You're just pretty."
You managed to hold her gaze for a few seconds longer. You felt like your breath had been ripped away from you. Goosebumps formed on your skin and a slight shiver ran down your spine.
"Yeah, well,” You cleared your throat, searching through your purse. “If you take a picture, it’ll last longer." You didn’t know what encouraged you to say the next part, but you chalked it up to the weird morning air that was lingering in the room. "....Actually, I’ll take some specifically for you. Since you like to stare." 
Ellie was aware that you were joking. But it still made her heart race. The image of you taking pictures for her burned into her brain. The context seemed to be pure on your end, but her thoughts traveled to a land of the filthiest scenarios. 
Ellie's lips parted, body washing over with a searing heat. Her hands itched to touch you, and ears longed to hear her name fall from your lips as well as a string of other sounds.
But this was completely inappropriate.
Here you were, looking as innocent as ever, and yet she was dreaming about some raunchy sex scene and tasteful photos of you.
Definitely inappropriate.
Your smile faltered at the weird expression that spread across Ellie’s face. You noticed the veins bulging through the skin of her arms as her hands clenched into fists. Her piercing gaze lingered on you unabashedly, landing on every inch of your features before returning back to your eyes.
You cleared your throat, feeling a warmth pool in between your thighs as you pulled at your shirt collar.
Shit. You were ruining Ellie’s boxers.
"I’ll hold you to that,” Ellie finally replied. “You just have to let me know when and where.”
You blinked in surprise as your lips pinched together, breath catching.
Did you just hear her correctly?
A second passes.
Then two.
Then three.
Ellie forced out a laugh, breaking the silence and trying not to cringe. Oops. Coming on a bit too strong. "Well, gee, don't look so excited." She’s such a fucking idiot. "I was just joking."
Your shoulders relaxed. You swallowed thickly, not failing to notice the aftertaste of disappointment. "Oh." 
Of course it was just a joke. How could you ever allow yourself to believe that Ellie would ever be remotely interested in you?
A small piece of your heart chipped away as you turned back to the mirror.
~
You didn't understand why Ellie was being like this.
You tried to ignore the sound of soft clicks and her pressing gaze. Instead, you busied yourself with socializing. Your toes were dipped in Ellie’s pool, sunglasses resting in your lap with a glass of wine in your hands. The water was heated to accommodate the weather and you were a bit too tipsy to slip into it altogether, but it did feel nice against your skin. Your eyes cut to Ellie who was holding an expensive camera. 
She focused on you without any shame, chewing her lip thoughtfully. She clicked away with the camera and captured countless candids. Ellie had a habit of doing this with other friends but she always wanted to specifically take photos of you.
There was a phase during Ellie’s adolescence when she was constantly capturing memories in a photo, and this hobby seemed to have trickled into the time that she now spent with her friends. She had taken numerous photos this past summer, which sat on her computer, ready to be edited and printed so it could be compiled into a scrapbook that would feed her nostalgia in future years.
But tonight was different, because she had never done this with you before. It held a different sentiment that didn't exist with others. Somehow, because of you, it made everything more intimate; more personal.
Ellie struggled with nimble fingers as she clicked a few more pictures, capturing the way you glanced over with surprised eyes and parted lips. 
"I'll be right back." You stammered, turning to Rachel. 
Rachel nodded knowingly while glancing at Ellie. "She can be a bit annoying with that thing—always trying to capture memories and whatnot."
You hummed in agreement, stepping out of the pool and standing to your feet. You kept your gaze locked on the floor as you made your way over to Ellie, not having the courage to meet her demanding gaze.
The chair scraped against the concrete as you pulled it out and sat in it. Silence filled the air, your thighs slightly trembling before you crossed your legs.
Ellie took this as an opportunity…
Click!
The sound broke the atmosphere, causing your head to snap up. Your jaw fell slack, before a fit of giggles escaped your lips. "Ellie!" You reprimanded, trying to reach forward and grab the camera.
She tutted her tongue, smiling ruefully. "Don't give me that look."
"You're being annoying!" You squealed. She was far from annoying. "...At least capture my good angles."
Ellie held the camera out of your grasp. "You always look good."
"You're supposed to say that, dummy. We're friends."
"Let’s be real,” Ellie muttered, sending you a level glance. “No matter the angle or time of day, you’d look fine.”
You puffed out your cheeks as you shook your head. You were averting your gaze, trying to suppress a smile—and failing. "You're really annoying." You grumbled, folding your arms across your chest.”You know that, right?”
Ellie grinned, bringing her camera back up to her face. She didn't say anything further.
The clicking resumed.
~
"Will you do the eyeliner?" Rachel asked, turning to you. "Brittany is calling me for something."
Your lips parted as you blinked in a drunken state. "I'm not good at makeu-"
But Rachel was already walking away, "Thanks so much!" And then she was shutting the door on her way out, leaving you and Ellie in the room.
You sighed, taking a sip of your wine before setting it down on Ellie’s bedroom dresser. Your eyelids felt heavy. You tried to walk but nearly tripped, forgetting that you had clunky heels attached to your feet. Groaning, you kneeled down to slip them off, almost toppling over.
A hand wrapped around your waist firmly, steadying you as you tried to gain your bearings. 
"Careful there." Ellie murmured, voice low. Her touch left a tingling sensation against your skin. 
You clenched your jaw, attempting to ignore your shudders as you stood upright.
Then you glanced down at Ellie, who was sitting in one of her chairs, peering back with amusement.
"You're drunk." Ellie analyzed. 
"You are too." 
She hummed. "Touché."
You reached over and grabbed a tube of liquid eyeliner. You didn't trust yourself to use a solid pencil; you had never done this before and didn't want to hurt Ellie.
"Just..." You breathed. "Try not to move or blink as much." You rested the ends of your palms against her temples before starting. Your hands trembled and the lines were nowhere near straight. You felt the urge to wipe it all off and start over. You remembered the dot technique that you learned years ago, but it almost felt too late to retry.
"Are you having fun?" Ellie asked. Her breath was cool. "Everyone seems to be warming up to y-Ow!"
Your heart stopped. You dropped the pen, allowing it to fall to the floor as you reached forward, "Oh, I'm so sorry!" You winced. 
Ellie’s eye was already beginning to bloodshot as it poured with instinctive tears.
"It's fine." She tried to reassure, squinting her eye shut.
"Clearly it's not." You frowned, dipping down closer. "I knew I shouldn't have done this. I'm really sorry." You blew on Ellie’s eye, trying to dry the teardrops and ease the pain. Why were you always screwing things up? A frown formed on your lips.
"Don't beat yourself up. It was just a few pokes. I'll be fine eventually." Ellie reassured. She fluttered her eyes open, trying to readjust to the throbbing pain and sudden silence.
You then noticed how close her face was. One simple move could cause her nose to brush against yours—could make your lips meet. The sparkle in Ellie’s eyes was undeniable. 
You didn’t think you’d ever been in such close proximity with your best friend. This was making your stomach turn.
Without thinking, Ellie grabbed a hold of your chin, acting on impulse. Her gaze narrowed to your lips. She grazed the lower one with her thumb, pressing gently; feeling your cool breath against the pad of her finger.
Your breathing faltered. You couldn't help but lean into her touch, sighing at the contact.
The both of your foreheads met, noses brushing and lips only millimeters apart.
Ellie’s other hand found its way to your hip. You complied immediately, straddling her in a way that left the both of your chests touching.
Your hands trembled nervously. You swallowed, "Are you going to kiss me?"
Ellie licked her lips, admiring how delicate you seemed in this moment. 
"I want to." There was a pause. "But it's best if we wait."
Your mind swarmed so much that you had to remind yourself to respond. "I guess you're right."
There's a lapse of silence.
One second passed. Then two.
Then three. 
By the fifth, you had noticed a slight shift in her expression. Her jaw was locked, nose flared and eyes fixed completely on you. She was restraining herself and you couldn't figure out why—you didn't allow yourself to accept the glaringly obvious reason.
You didn’t want to give into the false hope.
You couldn't.
You shouldn't…
Ellie was shaking her head.
Why the fuck was she shaking her head?
She was inching forward. Coming closer. Too close. Much too close.
“Ellie…” You whispered, eyes widening. 
She stopped, eyes trailing up to meet your stare. “I won't if you don't want me to.”
You swallowed, mouth dry. Your heart felt like it was in your throat, unprotected—entirely too vulnerable.
Her grip on your hips tightened, thumbs rubbing into the skin; reminding you that the ball was in your court. 
You leaned forward and closed the distance.
Ellie’s mind fell blank when your lips pressed against hers. She tried to ground herself—to remember how real this actually was.
It wasn’t a dream.
She melted when you sucked her bottom lip with expertise. Her blood rushed, toes curling at the exhilarating feeling of your mouth claiming her.
The kiss turned hungrier, becoming a mixture of heavy breathing and forceful tugs. 
Ellie's mind reeled at this position; the fact that you were in her lap and doing something that she never thought was possible. 
Her mind became hazy as her stomach pulled. Then, almost as if she had been slapped back into reality, you broke away, allowing you both to catch your breath.
It was quiet for a few moments as you came to a realization of what just happened.
You felt yourself sobering up, eyes widening in afterthought.
Ellie gazed back, heart hammering as she struggled to think of what to say.
Holy shit. 
Oh god.
Oh god.
She opened her mouth before closing it. She opened it once again, closing it seconds later in apprehension. Her hands fell from your waist, allowing you to stand with shaky legs. You blinked in bewilderment, trying to come to your senses. But it was a bit harder than usual after what had just occurred.
"I-" You stopped yourself, exhaling softly.
"We just..."
Her eyes kept zeroing in on your lips. Your soft, gentle lips. 
“Come back.” Ellie whispered.
You didn't have to be asked twice.
Without any hesitation, you were grabbing a hold of Ellie’s neck, leaning in for another kiss. It made the position a bit awkward, forcing you to bend down and hover slightly over her. But Ellie didn't mind. She didn't mind this at all…
Ellie relished in the sound of your delicate sighs. She loved the way that you were falling apart in front of her. She clinged to you tightly, pressing you further into her lap, which created the perfect amount of friction. She was determined to not let go. She didn't want to ever let go. 
You whimpered, allowing her to guide you as you grinded against her.
Her lips refocused on your neck, biting and licking softly as you cooed. It was becoming harder to breathe, harder to think soundly about everything that was happening. Wine drunk was one thing but this kind of intoxication was unreal. You were completely high off of Ellie.
Your mind reeled at this predicament—at the fact that you were in her lap, getting each other off in the most premature way possible. You felt like an adolescent who was stupidly hormonal with your girlfriend. But you couldn't complain, because it beat daydreaming about Ellie’s hands in your panties.
Your mind became hazy as a pressure in your gut built. Ellie’s hands, and Ellie’s lips, and Ellie’s smell, and Ellie’s breath.
Ellie.
You’re best friend, Ellie.
Your Ellie.
"Okay, I'm back! Sorry about that, I..." 
You breath hitched. You pulled away immediately as Rachel stormed into the room. Shit.
Ellie’s hand fell into her lap. She flushed at the sudden interruption, averting her gaze to the floor and cursing Rachel internally. Why did she always appear at the worst times?
"Oh!”  Rachel grinned, looking at the both of you with a smug expression. She laughed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Sorry, did I interrupt something?"
Ellie's jaw clenched. She cut her eyes to Rachel irritably, which caused Rachel to become even more amused.
“No,” You replied. “It’s—”
“Should I come back later?” Rachel added. Her grin had widened, voice thick with amusement. She was enjoying this a bit too much.
Ellie rolled her eyes. “Yes. You absolutely should fucking come back late-”
“It’s okay.” Your hands were trembling, an overwhelming sense of doom settling over you at the situation you were now in. “I was just leaving actually.”
“So soon?” Rachel raised an eyebrow. You ignored Ellie’s pressing gaze. “I don’t mind leaving-”
“That’s not necessary.” Your voice was breathy and rushed. 
Ellie called your name. You ignored her.
“I’ll see you guys later,” You added.
“Wait, are you sure?” Rachel sounded more alarmed now. “Seriously, I can step ou-”
But you didn't stay to hear any more, rushing out of the bedroom and away from Ellie as quickly as you could.
~
You didn't want to admit that you’d been avoiding Ellie. In all honesty, you usually were never the type to dismiss awkward situations. You liked to handle them immediately and move on with your life. But that wasn’t what you were doing now.
You spent a few days trying to process it all. You didn't think you were completely oblivious. You may have had your moments, but for the most part you liked to believe that you could pick up on romantic cues. So if you weren't mistaken, it almost seemed as if Ellie was interested in you. But you also weren't sure how to feel about it because the both of you were drinking, and alcohol could make you act like an entirely different person. 
A sigh escaped your lips as you stared at your phone, analyzing the text thread between you and Ellie for the nth time today. You missed her.
Going from consistent communication to none was a lot for you to deal with. But you just weren't sure you could handle a conversation with her right now.
You didn't want to do anything to jeopardize the friendship. So, needless to say, you’d been stressed about where the two of you stood.
After a few more agonizing seconds, you finally had the courage to turn your phone off.
You didn't need to be tormenting yourself like this.
~
Ellie missed you.
She missed your daily good morning messages and infectious laughter. She missed your dry humor and warm hugs.
She knew that she’d have to clear the air about what happened a few days ago. She understood that she shouldn't ignore what happened that night. It was just that she didn't want to talk about this yet. Not now. She wasn't ready.
She was still trying to process it all; how eager you were—the fact that you seemed to want the kiss as much as she did.
But Ellie also had to acknowledge the fact that you both were drunk. Hormones and alcohol can sometimes be the worst combination. 
Too many thoughts ran through her mind, leaving her groaning in frustration as she dragged her hands down her face.
She felt an urge to call you; to invite you over for dinner. To hold your hand and joke about whatever predictable soap opera you liked to watch.
But Ellie didn't do that. Instead, she grabbed her songbook and walked over to her guitar, beginning to play a melody on the strings that had been repeating in her head for days.
~
"Hey."
Your mouth felt dry as you shifted your weight, blinking at Ellie with expectant eyes. Like always, the both of you hugged before stepping back into Ellie’s house.
You slipped off your sandals immediately, arranging them neatly by the coat hanger before shrugging off your purse.
Ellie smiled at the small habit, already feeling her heart constrict despite being in your presence for less than five minutes. 
The television was on and playing one of your favorite Soap Operas. It helped relax your nerves. You plopped onto the couch and grabbed a blanket before wrapping it around yourself.
Ellie settled on a nearby cushion, eyebrows furrowing as she tried to think of a way to smoothly approach the conversation. She didn't want to scare you away or make you feel pressured during any of this.
Thankfully, you beat her to it.
You peered at her under your lashes, pleased to see that she was already staring at you. You pulled at your fingers, tangling and untangling them, as you grew the courage to say what was on your mind.
"I don't want to lose you as a friend." You started. Your gaze traveled down to Ellie’s lips, which triggered a distinctive memory of that night. Before your thoughts could get carried away, you blinked and diverted your gaze.
"I don't want that either." Ellie agreed.
"Right..." You nodded, clearing your throat. "Well, I know that we were drunk that night and we both value our friendship, so I'm hoping that we can..." You paused, not wanting to say this. 
But there was no other option. 
You had to.
"I think we should act like it never happened." Ignoring the way that Ellie stiffened, you shifted your weight. "And I hope we can still be close friends."
It pained you to come to this conclusion, but after debating for a few days, you felt like this was for the best. You didn't want to get your hopes up and ask for something more because what if Ellie didn't feel the same way? So it was better like this. No feelings would be hurt, and there wouldn't be a chance of ruining something great that you two already had.
Blood rushed in your ears as anticipation built up. You couldn't bring yourself to meet Ellie’s gaze, staring at the carpet instead.
"Um..." She hesitated. The silence was heartbreaking. Oh no.
Was she…
"Okay." Ellie’s voice cracked. She bit the inside of her cheek, hoping the ache would replace the one in her chest. She wanted you to speak more, to change your mind—to do something. But that didn’t happen. 
You nodded, stunned and unsure of where to go from there.
Instead, Ellie just grumbled, "Fuck. Well..."
You blinked in frustration, already feeling the regret gnawing at your subconscious. “Is that okay with you?”
Ellie’s head snapped back up, eyes boring into yours. “Does it matter? You’ve already said that this is what you want.”
“I-I don’t know. I thought…” Your throat was tightening. “Is it not what you want?”
“I…” Ellie was tugging on her shirt collar, voice thin. Her face was becoming red—eyes swimming. Fuck. She looked like she was going to cry. “Look, I respect your boundaries. Thank you for telling me. I’m comfortable with staying friends.” 
A chilling realization was settling within you.
This wasn't the reaction you had anticipated.
This was the opposite.
You may have done more damage than you thought. “Ellie-”
“You're right. We shouldn't complicate things,” She tugged on her collar—harder this time. Your eyes widened at the discolored circular blotches on her neck. How on earth could you forget about any of this when your hickeys marked her skin? 
Your jaw clenched, mouth watering at the delicious memory that had been plaguing your mind since Saturday.
“It’ll be like it never happened,” Ellie finished, standing to her feet. 
You wanted to say something—to stop her. But the words were caught on your tongue, too heavy to leave your mouth.
Too risky. 
Ellie walked out of the living room without  saying anything further.
This was going to be harder than you originally thought.
~
"Shit." Danielle cursed, her features scrunching as she slapped the shot glass back on the table. She shuddered. "That's gross."
You chuckled, swiveling wine in your glass. Personally, You loved the taste of wine. You had champagne a few times as well and didn't mind the aftertaste that it left in your mouth. You believed that it's all about the type of alcohol that you choose. You weren't the type to like hard liquor, so you could understand where your friends' disgust came from. You preferred to keep your taste buds intact while you drank, hence the bottle of red that you ordered.
You were currently at a nightclub, deciding to let loose after a hard week of lectures. You felt a bit stressed. You had a group project that was due soon and you were currently the only one that seemed to be contributing. It had been making you tense and more crabby than usual. Which was exactly why Danielle brought you here.
"...Ellie and her friends showing up?" Danielle asked.
You shrugged. "I thought so. But she was supposed to be here an hour ago."
You also may have been bummed that you hadn't seen your best friend walk through the entrance doors. You’d been waiting all day to see Ellie. Excitement has been building in your gut along with anticipation. 
"Hm. Bummer. I was beginning to like your friend." Danielle sighed. "...Was even contemplating asking for her number."
You shoved your jealousy away with a chuckle.
It wasn't your place to say anything.
You told Ellie you wanted to stay friends.
You weren't allowed to be upset.
You busied yourself with people watching. The air loomed with the smell of sweat and smoke. 
This was an environment that you grew accustomed to during your early college days. Now that you were in the last year of your college career, you’d shifted to partying at your friends' homes. But you still thought it was nice to go out to a club every once in a while.
There was a specific woman that had been glancing at you for a while now. She was cute with a charming smile. Her eyes were kind, and she always seemed to spare a looks towards you while searching the club. You noticed that the girl was with a group of friends, leaning against the bar with one hand holding a beer and the other tucked in her pocket.
You knew that this woman went to the same university because she was wearing one of the student hoodie's. She was also sporting a pair of dark washed jeans and the sort of combat boots that were loud and clunky; scraping against the ground every time that she shifted her weight.
"That girl keeps staring at you." Danielle announced. "And she's cute."
You smiled, tearing your gaze away.
Yeah, she is.
But where the fuck was Ellie?
Danielle raised her hand, waving in the girl's direction to catch her attention.
Your smile dropped, eyes widening as you reached forward and smacked Danielle's hand away. "What are you doing? Are you kidding?"
"Count this as a favor. You two have been ogling each other all night. Oh, look! She's coming over. You're welcome."
Your jaw set. Then you glanced over your shoulder and noticed that the woman was, in fact, making her way over to you. You glared at Danielle coldly. Well, fuck.
Danielle took no offense, finding the entire situation amusing and laughing instead. "You'll thank me later."
You folded your arms across your chest, huffing. "I highly doubt that I will."
Danielle giggled, covering her mouth with her hand to stop a hiccup. You rolled your eyes in annoyance.
"Hi." A voice interrupted. You looked up, facing the woman who had been staring at you all evening. She had an outstretched hand and a smile. "I'm Julia."
You took her hand, returning the grin and introducing yourself.
"Nice to meet you."
"Likewise."
Julia turned out to be a sweet girl. She was a pre-law student and a year younger than you. She looked extremely pleased when she found out that you attended the same school.
"Do you stay on campus?" You asked.
Julia noded. "I do. And you?"
You shook your head no. "I have my own apartment."
Julia's eyebrows raised at that. "That must be nice. The dorms can be annoying with the partying and all." She made a funny expression.
You laughed. "Yeah, I bet."
The both of you talked about numerous things. During the brief pauses, you tried to ignore the suggestive glances that Danielle would send your way. She was purposely being obvious about her teasing, so it was only a matter of time before Julia would notice.
For the most part though, you surprisingly seemed to be enjoying yourself. There was a short lapse in your mind when you weren't thinking about Ellie—thank god—and just enjoying yourself. 
Because of this, you didn't notice Ellie’s arrival. You were too busy laughing at a story that Julia was recounting about your first week of college. 
But Ellie saw you immediately.
~
Ellie felt weird when she observed you laughing with another girl. There was a strong sense of jealousy that was present. Especially when you placed a hand on the woman’s shoulder, throwing your head back slightly and laughing at whatever she was saying.
But she didn't want to be that person, not after the agreement you two made a few days ago, so she tried her best to behave. 
"She's over here." Rachel said, pointing in your direction.
Ellie had only brought a few friends, extending the invite after she asked you if it was okay. She ended up being late because Damien lost his dog. How he lost his pet, Ellie would never know, but after thoroughly searching and comforting a sobbing Damien, she found the poor poodle sleeping in the basement diner. 
Reluctantly, Ellie made her way over to your table. She really wanted to turn around and go back home, especially after seeing you look so cozy with someone else. But she knew that she couldn't, so she opted for lingering behind her friends instead.
You didn't notice Ellie’s presence at first, and was startled when Rachel surprised you with a hug.
"Long time, no see." Rachel grinned.
You let out a shaky laugh. "You scared me."
"Oh, sorry! We were calling you, but I guess you didn't hear."
Naturally, your gaze fell to everyone else. You said hi to Damien and Nina before peering at Ellie.
"You're here. Finally." You grinned. "What took you so long?"
Ellie noded in acknowledgment, lips holding a ghost of a smile. "We uh-"
"Who's this?" Rachel interrupted, wiggling her eyebrows as she tilted her chin towards Julia. Julia took that as her cue, holding out her hand with a smile. She gave her name, along with a few other pleasantries, to which Rachel nodded impressively.
"You're quite the charmer." Rachel stated.
Julia laughed. "I try."
You stood to your feet, allowing everyone to climb into the booth. You grew anxious when Ellie didn’t join, taking a seat across from you instead. 
Disappointed, you sat back down. It was odd to be facing Ellie directly while having Julia by your side.
Almost as if it was an instinct, you found yourself nudging Ellie’s leg. You grazed your foot against the inside of her ankle, leaning forward in hopes to grab her attention. She glanced at you momentarily, eyes softening before hooking your foot with hers.
Hi, you mouthed.
Ellie’s gaze lingered on your mouth, noticing the curve of your lips.
…Your lips.
You were wearing a shimmery lip gloss tonight. The kind that made your smile so beautiful that it physically hurt Ellie everytime she thought about it. 
Ellie didn't know what she was expecting tonight. She felt silly for not remembering the previous times you went clubbing with her—you loved dressing up on those kind of nights.
Ellie should have prepared her heart to better withstand your beauty. Because God were you beautiful. You were wearing one of those white summer dresses that hugged you just the right way and a pair of sandals. 
Suddenly, she felt silly for being jealous of Julia. Why wouldn't anyone want to be with you? It only made sense. 
Ellie was simply gutted that the lucky woman could never be her.
She wanted to scoop you away from here, to leave all of this behind. But she knew that wasn't possible, not after you both established remaining friends. Not after you admitted that you didn't have feelings for her.
"I heard you own some property in New York?" Danielle inquired, pulling Ellie out of her thoughts.
Ellie took this as her opportunity to look away from you, refocusing her gaze on Danielle, who was staring back with curious eyes. 
"Um," Ellie racked her thoughts for an acceptable answer, trying—and failing—to erase you out of their mind. "Yeah. I do."
Danielle was scooting dangerously close, sporting a shit-eating grin. "That's nice. I've never been to New York."
You rolled your eyes, gritting your teeth at the interaction.
"Do you want to dance?" Julia interjected.
You diverted your attention, growing hesitant.
You felt guilty for completely forgetting about Julia's presence. There was an impish twinkle in Julia's eyes that nearly caused you to grimace. The guilt multiplied. 
"I'm not..." You faltered, voice dropping into a whisper. "Julia, you're a nice person. But I don't think I'm necessary looking to be with anyone toni-"
Julia laughed, "It's just a dance. But it's completely okay if you don't want to."
As if on cue, Danielle laughed obnoxiously loud. 
Your pinky twitched. You were struggling to ignore the pressing thought of Ellie and Danielle. 
Feeling annoyed and slighted, you nodded, wanting to separate yourself from the table as soon as possible. "As long as it's just a dance." You replied.  "Then I'd love to."
Julia grinned.
~
You felt ridiculous.
Julia was with you on the dance floor and none of it felt as enjoyable as you initially thought it would be. Because Ellie was all you could think about.
Your mouth became dry and the heavy realization of it all threatened to come crashing down any second. So you turned to Julia, stating, "I'm going to get some water and head back to the table." You had to lean in closer than you would have liked, due to the loud music.
"What?" Julia frowned, not hearing you.
"I should head back to the table!" You repeated, jutting your thumb behind you in the direction of your friends.
Julia's features morphed into realization and she nodded. It was almost as if it all dawned on her at that moment that you weren't enjoying herself. "Well, it was nice meeting you." She concluded, with a wink and warm smile, "I think I'll head back over to my friends anyway. Take care of yourself, alright?”
“You too.” You nodded, sighing in relief.
“And you should tell her how you feel,” Julia added.
Your eyebrows furrowed, “Who?”
“Your friend…back at the table.” Her head tilted in the general direction of where Ellie was. “The one you can't keep your eyes off of.”
Your breath hitched, hairs standing on the back of your neck at Julia’s exposé. You opened your mouth to reply, but she was already giving you a goodbye hug. Then she shoved past a group of people to make it to her own destination, leaving you alone on the dance floor. 
Subconsciously, you walked over to the outside bar, sitting down on one of the stools and ordering a water.
While the bartender grabbed your drink, you tried to allow your muscles to relax in the stillness of the night. Faintly, you could hear the booming bass from the music inside. But besides that, it was far more quiet.
Your eyes stung as memories of tonight's shit show replayed in your mind.
You were kind of mad at Danielle.
In actuality, you knew that you didn't have much of a reason to be upset with her. You hadn't told any of your friends what happened between you and Ellie, or even admitted to them that you had feelings for her. It wasn't Danielle’s fault for not knowing where you stood with it all. It was on you—which made you more frustrated. Danielle was a pretty decent human and would never go after Ellie if she knew how truly you felt. You were just projecting your anger because deep down, you were mad at yourself.
Your reverie was broken when a hand slipped around your waist, lips brushing against your temple and whispering, "Where did that girl go?" It was Ellie.
"What girl?" You asked, playing stupid. You pursed your lips, not bothering to face her. 
You didn't want to admit it but you were also upset with Ellie. You couldn't erase the image of Danielle flirting with her out of your mind. It infuriated you.
You and Ellie were just friends, it was something that you both agreed to. Ellie could do whatever she wanted with whoever she wanted. But it still didn't make you any less upset. Because you were jealous, and that's what jealousy did to people sometimes.
"You know who.”
You frowned. "Go back to flirting with Danielle."
There was a hesitancy before she mumbled, "Are you like, upset with me or something?"
You rolled your eyes, guilt and shame and all things bad bubbling up inside of you. "Just go, El."
You knew you were pushing her away—this wasn't fair.
You weren't being fair.
But you needed her to go away before you say something you regret; before you ruin things.
Fingers wrapped around your elbow gingerly, dragging you off the stool and away from the bar. Ellie brought you over to a more discreet section of the patio, away from wandering eyes and eavesdropping bartenders. Once you both were a considerable distance from surrounding people, she let go of you.
With each passing second, her shoulders began to deflate more. She was drinking in your features with worry lines in her forehead. Then she was sighing, pinching the bridge of her nose in exasperation. Her eyes shut momentarily, but she didn't say anything more, hesitant to address the elephant in the room.
You bit the inside of your cheek, tearing your gaze away from her as your mind swarmed with countless apologizes. You should be saying many of them right now. But your tongue stayed planted in your mouth as the hammering of your heart kept you from uttering the words.
When you glanced back at Ellie, you noticed that her eyes had opened.
"Don't do this." She muttered. Her eyes were overwhelmingly vulnerable. "You don't get to do this. Not after saying you wanted to be friends."
I lied, You wanted to reply. I thought you wouldn't feel the same so I got scared. I chickened out. I ran.
But you couldn’t say anything. 
Ellie’s shoulders were rising and falling more sporadically as time passed by. It looked as if she was trying to catch her breath, eyes never failing to leave your face. There's a hint of panic in the way that she was observing you…searching for an unknown answer. Her mouth opened—an attempt to break the painful silence that was brewing—before she clamped her lips shut, rolling them inwards. 
You watched her step back as she ran her hands through her hair.
“I don't want to play games with you.” She confessed. Her voice sounded unnatural to your ears. Strained. "I deserve better than that."
You shifted your weight, growing uneasy by the way your muscles were screaming to step closer to her. You wanted to tell her about the way your soul yearned for her.
But you were scared.
So fucking scared.
Your mouth betrayed your wish. Instead, they formed to utter, “I understand,” and nothing more.
Ellie swallowed audibly and the lines above her brows deepened. You could hear the instability of her inhales as she looked at you with a question in her gaze.
“That’s all you have to say?”
It was far too devastating to hold her stare. You made yourself look away. “I...”
Ellie inspected you with such intensity that you practically felt your face melting off. 
She didn't speak and she didn't move.
The whistle of the wind was the only distraction from the agony nestling inside your heart. Your eyes began to sting, lump lodging in your throat in a way that made it unbearable to speak.
You tried to listen to the chirping of crickets; anything to convince you that staying silent was the better option—the only option.
But then Ellie took a step forward and your resolve cracked instantly. Before you could stop yourself, the smallest sliver of vulnerability urged you to look into her eyes.
She was beginning to notice your inability to hold a proper conversation and took another step closer.
“God, you're so…” This time, she was quieter. “I can never understand you.”
You swallowed thickly. “Ellie…”
She looked down, pressing the heel of her combat boot into the tile floor. In doing so, she rocked her weight backwards and then forward. The motion of unrest caused her cologne to waft towards you.
It'd been a while since you’d seen her so ungathered. 
“Listen,”  She said. The sound of it vibrated low and powerfully. It sparked a part of your soul to jump. “I lied. I can't just be friends with you.”
You took a step back.
She took another step towards you.
“What?” You faltered.
“You heard me.” Unshed tears pooled into her green eyes. “I’m telling you that I need you. In every sense. Does that hold any significance for you?”
You found interest in the buttons of her tan button up, forcing away the part of yourself that welcomed her confession. 
You were struggling to fully understand her. Your hands trembled.
“Will you look at me?” She urged.
You could only bear to keep your gaze on her shirt. 
A thumb came in contact with your lower lip. It was a slight graze but managed to leave a trail of fire in its wake. The rest of her fingers soon followed, brushing along your jawline before tucking underneath your chin. She nudged you to lift your head, willing you to peer at her. 
She was so painfully close. 
“You can't say stuff like that,” Was your response.
“Why can't I?”
Because you were scared. Because you didn't deserve her. Because you had already hurt her—already ruined everything. “Because I’ll want you back. And I can't want you. Because…” You exhaled shakily. “I can't risk the possibility of losing you altogether if this were to end badly.”
Ellie sighed softly, squeezing her eyes shut for a few seconds. 
“Our friendship is something I’d never want to ruin. It's safe and it's what we know.” You continued. “Why risk losing you to feelings that I wasn't sure you even reciprocated? How could I live with myself if I ruined everything by telling you how I really felt?”
Ellie’s eyes opened, her cheeks beginning to flush pink. "Oh. That's not..." Her expression had transformed into a mixture of understanding and something strange. “Baby-"
Her other hand managed to find its place at the nape of your neck. Your knees buckled at the pet name.
“You could never lose me.” She added. Her thumb caressed the apples of your cheeks. Those words alone caused you to become completely undone. 
You felt like your lungs could finally break open from their cage. Your exhale was heavy, delight crashing into you like tide waves.
It was too wonderful to believe.
“You drive me mad, you know.” Ellie continued, sucking in a breath. “I want you, all of you, everyday. I have never ached to be near anyone so much until I met you. I can accept it if you still want to stay friends after this. If that's truly your wish, then so be it. But I had to tell you. I couldn't let you walk away tonight without letting you know that I’m deeply, desperately, in love with you.” Her lips trembled. “You're so scared about losing me, but have you ever thought that I’ve been feeling the same? I fucking need you.”
Tears began to stream down your cheeks. You soon realized that you were trembling because you were crying. 
Without any more reservation, you allowed yourself to grip both of her forearms; mostly to steady yourself but to also have another semblance of closeness to her.
“Tell me again.” Your voice was nothing but a warble. You sniffed, tightening your grip around her forearms in hopes to stay grounded in what seemed like a cruel sweet dream. It didn't matter that you were at a bar, outside of a nightclub that was full of rowdy college students. It didn't matter that your friends were probably wondering where the hell you and Ellie disappeared to. The only thing that matter was Ellie. Your Ellie. “...Tell me that you love me.”
Ellie’s features softened. A tear spilled from her eye, trickling down her cheek. She managed to scan every inch of your face, a slow smile curling onto her lips. “I love you.”
The sound that came out of you was an ugly combination of a sob and laugh. 
Ellie swallowed thickly, wetting her lips as she unabashedly looked directly into you. “I’m asking you to give us a try. To give us a real chance.”
All of your doubts crumbled and was replaced with a fiery certainty.
“Ellie, I love you.” Your voice trembled with thick emotion. “Of course I will. I’ve just been so scared, I thought it would be better for us to-”
Before you knew it, Ellie was leaning forward and crashing her lips onto yours. 
You sighed at the contact, gripping both sides of her face feverishly. Her chest pressed against yours, causing a gasp to escape you.
Kissing Ellie was effortlessly sweet. She was gentle and passionate, yet able to exhibit incredible vigor that made your stomach flutter. Her hands traveled away from your cheeks, bunching into the material of your dress and holding you with immense regard. 
And just when you felt as if you were about to burst, she became agonizingly tender. Your mind buzzed at the feeling of her lips; it was like floating weightlessly in water. You longed to give her more of you; even though it couldn't be possible to give her any more than what she already had. 
Then she pulled away. You noticed that you two had quickly fell into a rhythm of panting, catching your breath from the sublime moment that you had just shared. 
Ellie wiped your last few tears and kissed you again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again. 
Until you knew for certain in your heart, that there was no other place in the universe that you were meant to be. 
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imagionationstation · 11 months
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I need advice. How do I make an au? Is there any rules ?
I’m not sure… If I have the authority to give AUs rules?
AUs are an Author’s Universe. The only rules in the Author’s Universe is up to the author, as far as I know. You can make it as impossible or complicated or realistic as you want.
I think… I think if there was a rule, it would be to involve reminders that this is attached to some movie/book/show/etc. A Ninja Turtles AU needs to involve at least one brother. Or April. Or Casey. Splinter- Bishop- Mutanimals, even Chloe.
This AU is a turtles AU, so you gotta include elements/characters from the shows/show that you’re basing it off of.
As for how to make one?
An AU is usually an notable difference from the show in one or a couple key factors. Taking the brothers and giving them a female parent would make that world an AU. Taking the brothers and changing them into another creature/a human would make it an AU. Changing the ages makes it an AU. Changing any key aspect of a show would essentially make your story an AU.
Most people make AUs left and right without realizing it.
Those who intend to make an AU often create an entirely new dimension by choice. They give them a new setting, new personalities (or similar personalities based off different past core memories), and give them new villains or friends.
Some AU’s are extreme- like my Mutant World AU, which is a world that is full of mutants. The turtles past is completely turned upside down- with the brothers Raph and Mikey being abused and then adopted by Splinter, and Leo and Donnie only being chosen brothers, bonding after being used as experiments for as long as they can remember. There’s no Foot involvement at all, and the Kraang are the ominous, dangerous lurking element
And some AUs are more subtle- Like taking scene from the show and adding a Y/N or self-portrayal character into the plot. The show elements remain the same, but now they have a sister or a best friend or a crush tagging along. The plot is relatively the same, but now they happen to exist.
How you do an AU really depends on why you’re making it.
If it’s just for fun: There is no right way to make an AU! Come up with characters, let your mind wander and picture them, draw them- write clips about them- just ramble about them! Plan backstory if you want, or flush out their future! They are your characters now- give them fluff! Hurt and heal them! Let the live their lives as you see fit! (Just try and make sure you keep you facts straight. AUs can get confusing at times… Trust me.)
If it’s for a story: DO NOT START WRITING FIRST THING! Not for a story plot. It makes things hard. Flush out the characters first.
What’s their backstory? Why do they act the way they do? What are their greatest skills? What makes them likable? What are their flaws? What makes them unlikable? Is this an action AU? Who’s the villain? Romance AU? Who do they like? How does the relationship build? What insecurities might your character/s learn to battle? Do they have close friends? Will they make close friends? What is their friend’s backstory? What makes them as close as they are?
There are probably a million more that could be asked, but the important thing is that you need to know your characters. You’re the only one who knows what questions are relevant to the characters and their development. Think on it.
Using what you know about the character, it could help design the world around them. Maybe they are bullied often and that’s why they’re so self conscious- where are they bullied? School? Work? What do they do? Are they bullied for clothes? Their voice? Their appearance? Why? What do they look like? Do they have scars on their body from physical abuse? A special place to hide when things get bad? Where is that? Bedroom? A friend’s house? What do those look like?
Once you build you characters and some of their world (only some, because new objects and flaws and buildings will absolutely come up as you’re coming up with new ideas), then you can build a plot.
What is your story about? Finding themselves? Action? Trauma? Romance? Horror? Or a series of OneShots about their daily lives filled with fluff and good feels?
Anything goes! As long as you love your plots, there are readers out there that will love your plot as well!
Hope this helps!
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Text
Update to the FSMP secondary school AU ideas:
-Centross does wrestling and plays rugby for the school and is really good at both
-Athena has successfully pressured Rae into joining the Gardening Club that Strawberri runs and is spending a lot of time with Jamie now
-Caspian invites Rae to his house to do their homework together almost weekly and it’s becoming more regular now.
-Rae felt really awkward and out of place at Caspian’s house at first, but is starting to feel more comfortable and Caspian’s mum is really nice to him
-Icarus is doing work experience at a local apothecary and taking chemistry and doing an online ornithology course
-Caspian is asking Rae to proofread his stories because he wants to impress him and he trusts him not to judge
-Strawberri and Icarus have crushes on each other but are too nervous to do anything about it yet
-Rae has started doodling in his notebooks but most end up relating to Caspian in some way (hmm, I wonder why?)
-Caspian is trying to understand the science stuff Rae rambles about but he’s mostly content to just listen
I’ll keep updating and if anyone has any other ideas, feel free to add them!
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ellar232 · 6 months
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I’m trying write a The Magnus Archives Au.
What should it be about?
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anhingaheart · 5 days
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I tried to draw but kept getting stuck on a specific image of how Hollystar would end, in this version of TBC the dream chapter instead being hers. I think if I actually was writing it in line with what I think her death would be it would be a lot more sharp and clear that she brought herself to this but I wanted some peace sooooooo that’s what this is
It felt like falling into the river rapids, is all Holly could think as it washes over everything. Every wound, old and new, now being caressed in a way that made her both wince and lean in further. A rough mother’s tongue. Of course her mind would twist back around to mothers. A thought that usually wrestled her from any sort of relaxation simply went with the water. Down down down in the endless current. What drove this stream to be so steady? What secret force lies within it? She could wonder for hours on the secret fuel to the way of the world but it again went right out her other ear. A distinct itch made her twitch, that of power she perceived being lost from her, but it too went away too quickly.
Was this peace? Was she dead? So many times Hollyle- Hollystar. Hollystar had believed her time had come upon her. Her final breaths left her. But it never was. Her heart always brought her right back to this crumbling place. She wished she was still Hollypaw. And Hollykit. When it was all clear cut and open doors. Now she’d shut so many she felt like she was suffocating. Maybe that was the water now breaching into her lungs. It didn’t bother her. Contemplation wasn’t something she had ever found comfort in. Yet in what she believed to be the end’s embrace it was kind. Too kind for a cat like her. She wouldn’t go to an above, Hollystar knows that. Not even this waterway could wash away the blood that clung to her. Despite her having caused so much more damage since him she always first thought of Ashfur when it came to her place in the after. He didn’t get this kind of mercy. She had made it long and painful. Ever since that lightless night she felt his death in everything. His thrashing in the hare that didn’t go down with the first bite, his panic in the bird caught in her claws, his eventual death in the cold body of Berrynose who also bled on her black paws. How many had she killed with her own claws? She didn’t want to continue that thought. And so the stream took the weight from her shoulders, and in turn she opened her mouth open to let it in further. If it could take away her pains then it could take her away.
Hope wasn’t something Hollystar had anymore. She hoped now though. She hoped this really was her last breaths. She hoped the world she left behind would recover. She hoped for her stain to be scrubbed away by the rain. She hoped she didn’t last around for long.
Wishing wasn’t something Hollystar ever had. She was told wishing was for the ones who couldn’t get what they wanted themselves. The cat that told her that originally also met his end to her beginning. It was similarly dragged out and horrible, but haunted her less when it wasn’t so much her fault. Now she wished he never died and left her to live. He never could take the blame. And she never could stick it to him.
Hollyleaf didn’t notice she was drowning. Her brain so swamped with thoughts and thoughts and thoughts. For once fate would give her what she wanted. For once one of her prayers would be answered.
Her final dream was the last shard of all she was. Found by a broken brother. The key to bringing back what she broke. This wouldn’t ever make up for what she did. All that she had done. But it was what she could do for them.
In her explosive end, at the center of the black hole she had become, was a little kit with one big wish. A wish for a world where she didn’t exist, and no more cats like her would be able to abuse the powers entrusted in them to protect. The greed would be cut as buds, wounds patched up, infections never left to fester. Never more would one so small handle so much. She would be the last star on earth.
One last gasp before Mother Earth returned her to where she was supposed to stay.
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icy-saturday · 3 months
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"The Copper Trawler" (continued)
Concept by Battlestation Four
Social Dynamics
Group Structure: Within a Copper Trawler group, there is a loose hierarchy based on age and experience. Older, more experienced lanterns often take on leadership roles, guiding the group's movements and decisions. Younger lanterns may be more playful and energetic, contributing to the overall vitality of the group.
Leadership Roles: The leader of a Copper Trawler group, often the oldest and most experienced male or female, is responsible for making decisions related to the group's movements, nesting sites, and safety. They also play a crucial role in coordinating group singing sessions, which are essential for bonding and communication.
Task Distribution: Copper Trawlers exhibit cooperative behavior when it comes to tasks such as nest-building, foraging, and protecting the group. While there might not be strictly assigned roles, individual lanterns naturally gravitate towards tasks they are more skilled at or enjoy, contributing to the overall well-being of the group.
Communication: Copper Trawlers communicate through a combination of vocalizations, light patterns, and body language. The leader often sets the tone for group activities through specific melodies, and different lanterns may have unique roles in the group's musical ensemble.
Conflict Resolution: Conflicts within the group are typically resolved through vocalizations and expressive displays rather than physical altercations. The social structure encourages cooperation, and disputes are settled through negotiation and mutual understanding.
Mating Rituals: During the breeding season, males may engage in elaborate singing displays and light shows to attract females. However, it's not a competitive process; rather, it's a collaborative effort where the entire group participates in creating a vibrant and harmonious environment.
Family Bonds: While there might not be a strict nuclear family structure, Copper Trawlers form strong bonds with their young. Older members of the group often take on mentorship roles, guiding the younger lanterns in various aspects of life, from foraging techniques to intricate singing patterns.
Breeding and Family Structure
Mating Season: Copper Trawlers have a distinct mating season marked by environmental cues such as changes in temperature and light. During this time, the air is filled with the melodies of males and the soft glow of their lights as they engage in elaborate displays to attract potential mates.
Courtship Rituals: Males play a prominent role in courtship, showcasing their singing and lighting abilities. They may create intricate patterns in the air with their glowing bodies, synchronized with their melodies. Females, in turn, respond with their own unique songs, and the collaborative display becomes a communal event involving the entire group.
Pair Formation: While the courtship displays are collective, individual pairs may form within the larger group. These pairs are not exclusive, and the communal nature of the Copper Trawler society means that parenting responsibilities are often shared among several individuals.
Nesting Practices: Once a female is ready to lay eggs, the pair, with the assistance of other group members, selects a suitable nesting site. Copper Trawlers are meticulous nest builders, combining twigs, leaves, and other materials to create sturdy and well-insulated nests either in trees or underground dens.
Egg Incubation: Both males and females take turns incubating the eggs, ensuring a balanced approach to parenting. The entire group contributes to protecting the nesting site, creating a cooperative and secure environment for the upcoming generation.
Rearing Young: Upon hatching, the young Copper Trawlers are cared for collectively by the group. Older members take on mentorship roles, guiding the young lanterns in various skills such as foraging, singing, and nest-building. This communal approach to parenting strengthens the bonds within the group.
Transition to Independence: As the young Copper Trawlers grow, they gradually become more independent. The communal structure allows for a smooth transition, with the older members continuing to provide guidance and support until the young lanterns are fully integrated into the group.
Continued Communal Living: Even as Copper Trawlers mature, they continue to live within the larger group. This communal living arrangement promotes cooperation and ensures the well-being of all members, regardless of age.
Interaction with Humans
Domestication and Bonding: Copper Trawlers, when kept in human households, have the capacity to form strong bonds with their owners. This bonding process often begins when the lanterns are young and continues throughout their lives. Regular interaction, feeding, and positive reinforcement contribute to the development of a trusting relationship.
Affectionate Displays: Copper Trawlers express affection towards their human companions through a combination of vocalizations, glowing displays, and physical gestures. They may perch on their owner's shoulder or lap, emitting soft melodies as a sign of contentment and companionship.
Shared Singing Sessions: Humans and Copper Trawlers can engage in shared singing sessions, creating a harmonious blend of human and lantern melodies. This activity not only deepens the bond between them but also provides a unique and delightful form of entertainment.
Feeding and Care: Human owners are responsible for providing a balanced diet for their Copper Trawlers, including a mix of grains, proteins, and greens. Establishing a consistent feeding schedule and providing a stimulating environment contribute to the lanterns' well-being.
Nighttime Activity: Given the semi-nocturnal nature of Copper Trawlers, humans who keep them as pets should be prepared for nighttime activities. This includes the lanterns engaging in lively singing, chattering, and glowing displays during the late hours. Owners who are night owls may find this behavior endearing, creating a unique bond during the quiet hours of the night.
Training and Enrichment: Copper Trawlers are intelligent beings, and they respond well to positive reinforcement-based training. Owners can teach them new tunes, tricks, or even simple commands. Providing a variety of toys and perches within their living space enhances their mental and physical stimulation.
Integration with Other Pets: If there are other pets in the household, Copper Trawlers can adapt well to their presence. Proper introductions and supervision are essential, and over time, these lanterns may form interesting interactions with other animals, fostering a diverse and harmonious environment.
Cultural Significance: In some human societies within your AU, Copper Trawlers may hold cultural significance. Their melodies and glowing displays might be incorporated into rituals, ceremonies, or artistic performances, deepening the connection between humans and these enchanting lanterns.
Cultural Significance
Symbol of Harmony: Copper Trawlers are seen as symbols of harmony and cooperation in many human societies. Their communal living and collaborative behaviors serve as inspirations for human communities to work together for the greater good.
Ceremonial Performances: The unique melodies and glowing displays of Copper Trawlers play a central role in various ceremonies and celebrations. Humans may incorporate the lanterns into festivals, weddings, and other significant events, enhancing the cultural experience with the enchanting presence of these creatures.
Art and Creativity: Copper Trawlers inspire artists, musicians, and writers within your AU. Their melodies become the basis for musical compositions, their glowing patterns inspire visual art, and their communal living influences narratives that celebrate unity and diversity.
Spiritual Connections: In some cultures, Copper Trawlers are believed to have spiritual significance. People may attribute mystical qualities to these lanterns, seeing them as messengers of positive energy, guardians of the night, or symbols of interconnectedness between the natural and spiritual realms.
Storytelling and Folklore: Folktales and legends featuring Copper Trawlers are passed down through generations. These stories often emphasize the importance of cooperation, kindness, and the beauty found in the diversity of talents and voices.
Educational Tool: Copper Trawlers become educational tools for teaching principles of teamwork and communication. Schools and educational programs may use these lanterns as metaphors to instill values of collaboration and mutual support among students.
Conservation Efforts: Due to their cultural significance, Copper Trawlers may become the focus of conservation efforts. Human societies might establish protected areas and initiatives to ensure the well-being of these lanterns and their habitats.
Economic Impact: The popularity of Copper Trawlers in cultural events, art, and education may contribute to economic activities. People may engage in the production of lantern-themed merchandise, performances, and experiences, creating a unique industry around these enchanting creatures.
Adaptations to Different Environments
Urban Environments:
In urban settings, Copper Trawlers may adapt to cityscapes by perching on buildings and streetlights.
Their vocalizations might incorporate urban sounds, creating a unique blend of city noises and enchanting melodies.
City-dwelling Copper Trawlers may develop a tolerance for artificial light and adjust their nocturnal activities accordingly.
Desert Environments:
In desert regions, Copper Trawlers may build nests within cacti or find shelter in rocky formations.
Their diet could include a variety of seeds and plants adapted to arid conditions, showcasing their ability to thrive in different ecosystems.
Adaptations to conserve water, such as specialized water-storing vegetation, may be observed in desert-dwelling Copper Trawlers.
Mountainous Environments:
Copper Trawlers in mountainous areas may build nests on high cliffs and rocky outcrops.
Their melodies might resonate through mountain valleys, creating a unique acoustic experience influenced by the surrounding landscape.
These lanterns may have adaptations for colder temperatures, such as thicker fur or feathers for insulation.
Forest Environments:
In dense forests, Copper Trawlers may construct elaborate nests high in the trees to avoid ground predators.
Their diet could include a variety of forest fruits, nuts, and insects, showcasing adaptability to the local flora and fauna.
Forest-dwelling Copper Trawlers may exhibit more intricate camouflage patterns to blend in with their surroundings.
Aquatic Environments:
In coastal regions, Copper Trawlers might adapt to aquatic life, using their glowing lights to attract prey in the water.
They may build nests on cliffs overlooking the ocean or even float on buoyant vegetation, creating floating nests.
Their diet might include a variety of seafood, and they could exhibit specialized adaptations for swimming and diving.
Subterranean Environments:
In regions with extensive underground spaces, Copper Trawlers may develop adaptations for digging and creating elaborate tunnel systems.
Their glowing lights could serve as a form of communication in the darkness of subterranean environments.
These lanterns might have unique adaptations for sensing vibrations and echoes in the underground world.
Tundra Environments:
In cold tundra regions, Copper Trawlers may have adaptations for surviving freezing temperatures, such as thicker fur or feathers.
Their vocalizations might carry over long distances in the crisp, open air of the tundra.
Nests could be built in low-lying vegetation, providing protection from the wind.
NOTE: *I will update all my Copper Trawler posts as soon as i provide concept artwork (whether traditional, digital, or AI generated)*
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