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coasttocoastreads · 4 years

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Welcome back to Week 2 of Coast to Coast Reads! Who’s still alive? Katya and I are dying while social distancing, but at least we had a few laughs discussing this book:

Crescent City (House of Blood and Earth) // Sarah J Maas

★★ / ★★★★★

Summary in one two gif(s):

Real Summary:

Crescent City, a place where vanir (supernatural beings such as angels, fae, shifters, etc.) and humans freely mingle and go about their days. Bryce Quilan is a 20-something fae/human who’s still reeling from the murder of her friends 2 years ago. But after she’s commissioned to help search for an ancient artifact, Bryce, along with her new angel partner Hunt, unearth previously buried secrets about the murder that threaten to expose a worldwide conspiracy.

Pros:

Great side characters. I would die for each and every one of them.

Lots of different mythological creatures! Not just another Fae Book™️

Cons:

It’s literally ToG 2-7 combined. If you read Throne of Glass, you’ve already been spoiled for this book. 💀💀💀

It’s wayyyy too long

Drags a lot in the beginning

Plot .5/5 (the .5 is for you, Lehaba)

What can I say. SJM literally plagiarized herself by taking the plotline of the tog books and translating it to this new setting. The writing itself was subpar, and most of the time it felt like the author herself had no idea where the plot was going, instead letting it drag on until a plot twist that makes no sense is revealed. (You’ll know which one I’m talking about when you get there.) I’ll compare CC with ToG with spoilers under the cut.

Pacing 2/5

The beginning is full of info-dumping as SJM tries to set up this world which is metaphorically like ours, but everyone’s hot and does fantasy cocaine all the time. It narrates boring day-to-day schedules that could have been condensed into a paragraph and at times I was tempted to skip ahead. The plot does pick up near the last 25% though, so I’ll give it that.

Worldbuilding 2.5/5

It was confusing. To be fair, after all the info was dumped at the beginning, I didn’t bother going back to try to figure things out when they popped up again after. But like still??? I think I only started understanding the hierarchy of the government with the Asterrii(?). Also what are the Triarii I am still lost. SJM attempts to blend a more modern society with one of fantasy creatures, and for the most part it succeeds, but it often just feels...strange. I think the one thing I’m most hung up about is why swords and guns still coexist. Like ??????? it’s one or the other plssssss abandon the “aesthetic” Also while they literally have cell phones and keurig machines there aren’t common things like cars? Why.

Characters: (This is unconventional, bear with me)

Main Characters: -infinity/5 they could go die for all I care

Bryce and Hunt were both super unlikeable, 10/10 would let fall from a cliff. They are literally just rewrites of Aelin and Rowan? Bryce is like ahahaha yeah people think I’m Just a dumb vapid Female™️ who parties too much and gets trashed but SIKE I’m actually the chosen one and I’ve been hiding it this whole time because I didn’t want to hurt people’s feelings uwu. And did I mention I’m actually a trained Warrior who can keep up with The Boys? It’s Aelin y’all. There are numerous times where a character says that she’s not stupid and I’m like...are you sure... This girl makes the poorest decisions, yet ofc, there aren’t any long term consequences... (Also 99% of her problems come from ghosting people literally just respond with “k” sis)

Hunt is... idek what to say about Hunt. He’s just Rowan but in angel form. His inner monologue cycles between I must pay off my debt so I can gain Freedom 😔, why is Bryce so hot 🥴, and Shahar 😭. Once again, literally Rowan who also was bound to some evil villain, had the hots for their CENTURIES YOUNGER pupil/protectee, and had an old lover die tragically which led to them believing they can never find love again UNTIL BryLin comes along. Snooze.

Side Characters: Infinity/5

Ruhn Danaan was the most valid character and that’s the hill I’ll die on. He literally just wanted to protect his sister cuz she’s stupid af but she keeps pushing him away bc he’s an “alphahole” (haha how subversive :/) I want a whole book about him and Hypaxia, preferably fanfiction so I don’t have to read “soft feminine breathing” ever again.

Literally all the supporting cast- Lehaba, Therion, Ithan, Jesiba, Flynn, Connor, etc, etc. had more compelling characters and side stories than Bryce/Hunt. I was 100% more invested in them and I can’t wait to read/write more about them.

(Pls let me marry Jesiba Roga or Therion 🥺)

But while the people on the “good” side were spectacular, the villains all felt one-dimensional and the product of over-recycled and overused tropes mashed together. Sandriel and Pollux are literally just Maeve and Cairn (is that his name)

I’d recommend for:

People who loved Throne of Glass and are lamenting the absence of new content. Please read about Rowaelin 2.0

People stuck at home during this global crisis and have too much time on their hands. (If you need that free epub, hmu)

People who are willing to skip all scenes that feature just Bryce and/or Hunt

People who hate themselves

Would I travel here?

Sorry, what? Already shredded my passport, not getting a replacement, sorry.

Overall thoughts:

I wish I could somehow take those hours of my life back but alas.

See y’all in two weeks with a hopefully better book selection,

Tiff

Spoilers under cut

Okay time to VENT

OKAY so CC=ToG, let’s break down how

Danika’s death is the Nehemia Incident, setting the mc up for a journey of self discovery/reclaiming their power. They both show up as ghosts later to encourage mc in a time of great self-struggle.

Syrinx if Fleetfoot. bc all female mc’s need a pet to reveal her Feminine and Soft side

Sandriel and Pollux are Maeve and Cairn. Evil female character with vast power and her torturer? COOKIE CUTTER FORMULA. The scene where Bryce offers herself up for Hunt in the lobby also kinda mirrors that scene in..HoF? QoS? Don’t remember, but pretty sure that happened. Also that scene was so fucking dumb, I really thought Bryce had a Smart Plan, but I was bamboozled once again.

A gem from my notes: “Bryce is Aelin but with cocaine”

I think the whole demon portal thing is a ripoff of ACOWAR (or is it KoA I can’t even remember), sacrificing yourself to close the rift, etc, etc.

Anyways, Bryce = Aelin, a party-girl front with a sob backstory that’s her superpower origin story who always has a Plan.

Hunt = Rowan, broody warrior busy repaying debts getting orders they don’t want while pining over a lost love. They reluctantly let the female mc in and voila they’re in LOVE

The whole “plot twist” that revealed Hunt’s true plan along was so fucking dumb...

It wasn’t a plot twist, it was just plain bad writing

There was no set up at all, nothing alluding to Hunt secretly masterminding an attempted coup with the help of Magic Meth

The whole time I was like “...this is part of their plan right. There’s no way he legit planned this...”

Character’s POVs should reveal what they’re thinking, even if you’re just hinting at something to reveal later...this was just lazy

Another thing that really rubbed me the wrong way was the sudden reveal that Fury and Juniper had been in a relationship the whole time? Despite like above, there was no prior allusion to that?

It felt like half-assed representation at best and completely irrelevant to the story with it coming up again in a throwaway line near the end

Also? I’m fairly certain there was a scene in the beginning where they were all out clubbing and Juniper hooked up with some rando while Fury was also at the club with them? Was this before they got together or did SJM insert this so last minute that no one caught it?

Wtf is sunball. Can someone just help me out here.

Some people have been saying Hunt is Asian coded? Where???!!!!! All I’m seeing is the same stuff she pulled in ACOTAR where all the Illyrians were tan so people could claim they were poc for woke points but not get in trouble for art depicting them as white ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

SJM pls stay away from “like calls to like” you don’t deserve it

#crescent city #house of blood and earth #sarah j maas #tiffs reviews #2 stars #fantasy #bookblr #booklr #bookstagram #book review #yalit #reading #books

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afewmarvelousthoughtsadmin · 5 years

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Master List: @afewmarvelousthoughtsadmin

Request:

What’s up sug! sorry you’re struggling right now but I’ve come to help you If you could bring this to light for me I’d absolutely love for YOU TO DO JT So basically Bucky X Enhanced reader who are fuckin enemies. Hate each other to every last fiber of their beings bc Bucky is rude and she calls him out on it. AnywHs, they get drunk, truth or dare (go crZy baby) and LOTS LF dirty talk if u wanna do smut but if u don’t then buck taking care of her while she’s drunk cause she admitted her feelings

Pairing: Bucky X Reader (Enhanced)

Summary: Since The Avengers gave you a home the only blight has been Bucky Barnes, a ghost from your past that you can’t seem to shake. It makes you hate him. The feeling, it seems, is mutual. But… a simple game reveals that maybe things aren’t quite so simple. (Post Winter Soldier AU)

Warnings: Honestly, this is, and I’m not lying, kind of FLUFFY WHAT?!

A/N: These two. I just… wow. I really like them ok? Also, I like thinking about fun quirks or hobbies Bucky may find himself being drawn to after everything. Little frivolous things that bring some happiness into his life and space.

I just hope y’all enjoy these tender moments. ♥️

(This is a repost because tumblr is stupid and somehow the link or something in the original is corrupted. I apologize for the double ((or triple idek what’s happening at this point)) notification tag list folks.)

Tags are open!

@midnightdream83 @mywinterwolf @disagreetoagree @breezy1415 @peachthatdrinkslemonade @wonderlandmind4 @piensa-bonito @handplucked @buckysstar @sam-jae @marauder–harder @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @meg-asaur @jewelofwinter

Even though the elevator ride to his apartment is short you’re already dozing a bit in his arms. Your face half buried in his chest, softly breathing, though your expression is far from relaxed.

Once inside he gently sets you on the couch, laying your head on a throw pillow and tucking the thick blanket around you. In just a week you’d lost mass, he could feel bones where he had been unable to feel or see them when you’d last been here.

Your power, he knew, meant you needed to stay well fed because it could drain your body, pulling from your own metabolism to keep running. From what he could tell it had been running for the past week.

You groan a little and reach for him. A sad smile rises on his lips, “I’m not going anywhere, doll,” he strokes your forehead pressing a kiss to the crease there, “just rest a second. Nothing is gonna get through me, you’re safe.” This seems to work as your forehead smooths a bit and your hand relaxes.

“Sargent Barnes,” Jarvis pipes up quietly once Bucky is in the kitchen. “I do not want to impose but I have noticed Ms. Y/L/N’s distress for days. She has not granted me permission to request any additional aid on her behalf.”

“Not shocking,” Bucky says looking over at you.

“I will continue to heed her wishes as long as her life is not in immediate risk. However, she is massively undernourished, if she goes another day without eating in her condition I will be forced to notify medical per my programming.”

“I understand, Jarvis. Thanks.”

“May I suggest a light soup and an electrolyte fortified beverage? I worry her system cannot handle much else.”

“Good call.” He opens the pantry to find a can of chicken noodle.

“That would be most excellent I believe. I will have one of the bots bring the beverage for her.”

“Thanks, Jarvis.”

“Of course, sir.”

Bucky isn’t much of a cook but thankfully he can manage a can of soup. Just before it’s done Dum-E slips in quietly with a basket from the main kitchen with bottles of Pedialyte. He pats the weird bot on the head, always viewing it like a friendly dog more than a machine, and it lets itself out.

He brings the soup to the coffee table and gently tries to wake you.

“Y/N,” he shakes your shoulder gently, “I know you’re tired but I need you to wake up for just a few minutes.” Nothing. “Doll? Come on, wake up for me.” Another shake.

With a gasp, you shoot up, frantically looking around the room, tendrils of light snaking every which way under your skin. Bucky grabs your shoulders.

“Hey, hey, look at me,” his voice is kind but stern, he needs you to hear him. “Look at me, Y/N.” You do finally and the light comes on, he can feel you relax in his grip.

Moving a strand of hair from your face he says, “Sorry, I know you need sleep, but you’ve got to try and eat something.” Your head sort of falls to the side rather than turn to see the soup on the table behind Bucky, brows knit.

“You don’t have to eat much, just something. Ok?” You nod, eyes fluttering a bit. For a second he’s worried he’s going to have to feed you, worried you’re that far gone, but you pull your self together and reach for the bowl. He hands it to you and surprisingly you make it through half.

“I can’t,” you say handing it back.

“That's ok,” he takes it. “Here,” he hands you the Pedialyte standing to take your bowl to the kitchen. “Sip this.”

You smile a bit, “So bossy,” you say looking up at him. A genuine smile fills his face, you had said that the night you were together. He strokes the side of your face and heads into the kitchen.

Back in the living room, he sits at the end of the couch as you drink what you can. You set it down, shaking your head.

“Ok, let’s get you to bed.” You look up at him, terror on your face. “I’ll be with you. If you want me to be.”

“Please,” you say, your voice less hoarse than before. He nods and holds out a hand. You stand a little more steadily and make your way to his room.

He gives you a shirt and a pair of boxers to change into assuming you don’t want to sleep in your gym clothes. While you’re in the bathroom he changes too, into pajama bottoms and turns the bed down. When you come out he has to force himself to not gawk. For some reason, you look incredible in his shirt and boxers. He swallows hard.

“I guess this will make three pieces of clothing I need to get back to you,” you say, voice sounding steady. Good.

“I’ll send you an invoice,” he says taking a few steps toward you. Tenderly he caresses your arm, “Come on.”

In the bed, you immediately curl against him and he holds your right hand in his left pressing it to his chest.

He thinks you’re just about asleep when you say, “Bucky?”

“Yes, doll?”

“You meant it earlier right?” He doesn’t respond, “Your promise…”

His heart aches, “I did.”

“You’ll kill me, then.”

He won’t lie, “No.” You shoot up and stare at him, betrayal on your face. He’s unfazed and just cups your face in his right hand. “I’ll kill you if you’re about to lose control, I told you that the other night. But Hydra… anyone else… they won’t ever get close enough to you for it to matter.” His tone shifts cold and certain, “Ever.”

You stare at him for a minute before that sinks in, just how much he means it, what exactly it means. That he would take on anything to protect you from becoming someone else weapon again, anything.

You nod and in a flash your lips are on his. His hand is still hovering in the air where your face had been before it slowly rests on the back of your head. He lets this go on longer than he should he knows, you need rest, but he can’t help how good it feels to feel your lips on his, to have you in his arms.

Eventually, you sit up, leaning against his chest, looking down into his face, “Thank you.”

[Reader]

Your head is throbbing and your mouth feels like a damn desert. Logically you knew you weren’t fully out of the woods. This bout of trauma wrecked you, body and soul. Even so, you feel more human than you had for days. It was a start.

Bucky’s warm presence behind you feels something like comfort. You can’t tell if he’s awake but you press even closer to him, the weight of his right arm across your torso grounding. Reacting to your movement his hand flexes, laying flat on your stomach, holding you tight against him.

“Hey there,” the warmth of his breath on the back of your ear sends tingles all over your body. He begins to lift his arm and move but you grab it, holding him in place, not ready for him to let go. Immediately he settles back down and presses a kiss to the back of your head. Ugh, your hair was filthy, not that he seems to mind.

“Hey,” you rasp, voice almost as cracked as your lips.

“Excuse me,” Jarvis intones. “I’m very sorry to intrude but I have an urgent message from Mr. Stark informing you both that you need to be in the conference room in two hours. I didn’t want to wake you.” Bless Jarvis.

“You can tell Mr. Stark to go fuck himself,” Bucky snaps, his body tensing.

“Don’t tell him that Jarvis,” you sounded like a pack a day smoker.

“I had no intention to.”

You turn in Bucky’s arms to face him, “What the hell?”

His face is a mask of concern, “Whatever they need can wait. You’re not in any condition-“

“I can handle a conversation Bucky,” probably… “I mean… they gave us almost a week. That’s more than fair…”

“No.” His tone says there’s no argument here and your brows raise, “You need rest.”

Gently you move a few stray strands of hair from his face, “So do you,” the circles under his eyes were still dark.

He takes your hand in his and kisses your palm, “I’m ok, doll.”

“Please,” you roll your eyes, “we’re both far from ok. They deserve to know why.” He knows you’re right and sighs heavily before kissing your forehead.

“Ok.” He squeezes you tight before sitting up cross-legged on the bed.

As he leans forward you can’t help but ogle the way the muscles in his back move. If you weren’t so cotton-mouthed right now you’re not certain you wouldn’t be drooling. Sex drive had to be a good thing right?

Slowly, you sit up, not wanting to set the room spinning and kiss his back before laying your cheek on the warm flesh there. He hums a little, contented sound, reaching back to grab your hand.

“What if we have them come here?” His low voice vibrates through his torso.

“Here?”

“Yeah. Or your place. I just… if they wanna talk we can talk but they’re gonna come to you where you can be comfortable and…”

“I’m not in danger from them, Bucky.” The look on his face tells you he doesn’t trust that. It’s understandable, his concern.

Before, in Hydra, your display with him would have been grounds to be wiped and iced. You sigh heavily, “My place is… not currently fit for other people…” That was putting it lightly. Five days of depression, no sleep, and fighting the storm in your head meant it was just as wrecked as you were.

“They can come here, it’s fine,” he gives your hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Ok,” you pull away from him and run your fingers through your greasy hair. “I’ll head up and shower then-”

“No,” he says shaking his head, “you’re going to have some breakfast before you do anything.” You glance at the clock, it’s 12:30pm. “Brunch, whatever,” he says with a smile.

The thought of food makes your stomach growl, “Actually not going to fight you there.”

Bucky makes you simple eggs, dry toast, and water per Jarvis’ suggestion before getting in the shower himself. Surprising yourself, you manage to eat it all and don’t want to throw up. Progress. When he comes out, you’re loading the dishes into the washer.

“You didn’t have to do that,” he says, drying his hair, looking better than he had any right in his navy henley and grey sweats.

“Wanted to feel useful,” you say with a shrug. He comes into the kitchen and pulls you to him, smelling like that tea tree shampoo and toothpaste. This whole thing is so weird. Maybe weird is ok though…

“Just shower here, I’m sure I’ve got something you can wear,” his lips press against the crown of your head. You nod against his chest, “You not fighting me is a strange change of pace,” his voice is tinged with humor.

You shrug, the side of your face still pressed to him. “Don’t want to face my apartment yet is all...”

His left-hand takes your chin and tilts your face up, “That’s ok.” The corners of his eyes crinkle a bit when he smiles, “You’re welcome here as long as you like. When you’re ready I can help you get your place up to code… if you want.”

A laugh bursts from you and his brows knit in concern. “A little over a week ago I was thinking of ways to kill you. Now…” Your laugh swallows the rest of that statement.

“Now maybe you’re glad you didn’t?” He asks with a smirk. You cup his face and rise up a bit on your toes to press a quick kiss on his lips.

“Maybe. Don’t push your luck though,” you say with a wink.

He shakes his head, smiling, “Go shower.”

Stepping back from him your hand rises to your chest, “Are you saying I’m dirty?!”

He laughs, “No. I’m saying, you’re greasy. But we could work on dirty later if you want.” A devious smile lights his face and his tongue flits across his bottom lip.

You can’t help the huge smile that stretches it’s way across your own face and you playfully smack his chest as you walk past him, “Dick.”

Another laugh tumbles from him. You’re a few steps away when you feel his arms wrap around you and pull your back tight against his torso. His face is pressed against yours, his short beard tickling the skin on your cheek. You hold on to his forearms and lean into the embrace, letting the comforting feeling of him wash over you.

“I’ll put some clothes on the bed,” he says next to your ear, “and deal with Stark. Take your time.” With that, he kisses your cheek and releases you.

You sit on the bench in the shower and let the steam engulf you. The heat may relax some but for you it’s a boost, sending a low hum of energy thrumming through you, clearing your head. It’s a good thing too. There’s a feeling in your gut that this is going to be a fairly unpleasant conversation.

Sighing you stand, you’ve been in here long enough to be a touch pruney. Your muscles still ache from being tense with constant adrenaline for days and your legs shake just a bit but you’re miles ahead of where you were last night. It sinks in a bit just how close to the edge you were. If Bucky hadn’t come in… would you have lost it? And if you had…

Pushing the thought from your mind you shut the water off and reach for the plush towel. Your reflection in the mirror is, disheartening, to say the least. Hopefully, the hollowness in your cheeks and the purple under your eyes would tell enough of the story for you when everyone came in with their questions. You roughly dry your hair and find a hair tie in a drawer to toss it into a messy bun.

On the bed, Bucky has left you a pair of drawstring sweats and a hoodie, both in his favorite midnight blue color. They’re just big enough to be oversized but it’s so comfortable to be surrounded by warmth and his smell. Your eyes ache to close.

Bucky’s in the kitchen, setting out mugs and the smell of coffee fills the air. You were certain coffee wouldn’t be on Jarvis’ recommended list of nutrients for you at the moment but you’re feeling sleepier by the minute. If they want you to make it through this you’re going to need that boost.

“That smells like everything I need right now,” you hop onto one of the metal barstools by his island. He doesn’t question you and pours a large cup.

“How do you take it?”

“Black.” Your fingers curl around the mug he hands you, it has the Brooklyn bridge on the side, one of those things you find at gift shops all over the city. It’s now that you realize all the mugs are different.

Some like this one are souvenirs, a Broadway mug with comedy and tragedy masks, one from the Met with a Monet on the side. There are a few that look vintage, from the 70’s maybe. Others are novelty mugs. There’s one that looks like a camera lens, one says “Get Shit Done” on the side, another is shaped like a donut. You can’t help but smile.

He notices you looking, “I… uh, like mugs I guess.” Awkwardly he runs a hand through his hair. “Figured coffee would be good. My… my ma always made coffee when people came over…”

Your heart may actually burst. “You’re cute,” you say sipping what is actually an exceptional cup of coffee. He snorts and pours his own cup, this one with “Rocket Fuel” on the side and the NASA logo.

“Come on,” he heads into the living room. You hadn’t noticed he’d pulled his dining room chairs in here to accommodate the others. “There’s still a bit before they get here.”

Plopping onto the couch he hits play on the remote sitting on the side table, old jazz fills the space. Unsure where to sit you stand awkwardly between the kitchen and living room weighing your options.

“Psst,” he quips from the couch, you meet his gaze. A smile fills his face and beckons with his left hand. You take a tentative step in his direction, “The big chairs are comfortable too if-”

“No,” you say as you set your mug on the coffee table and sit next to him. His left arm wraps around your shoulders and pulls you close. You lay your head against his chest and immediately feel your body relax. “This is perfect.”

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky #bucky barnes x reader #soft bucky

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hyyunjinn · 6 years

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I swear if I forgot someone, and I feel like I am because I’m so bad at keeping track of things, I’m gonna go scream. ALSO: all those tags and mentions I’ve been tagged in, I swear I saw them but it was usually when I’m in the middle of doing something and I didn’t want to reblog aND THEN I JUST LOST THE TAG so I’m sorry ; - ;

But uh, I. Reached. 3K. Followers. On this blog a while ago actually I’m just that lazy of a person and I never do anything on time. And I just wanted to say thank you so much for supporting me and screaming about Stray Kids daily? I haven’t been feeling the greatest emotionally which is why this might turn into a rant—but I just want to use my emotional energy for something good and that’s saying thank you! This is the first time a community has shown so much interest in my work and supporting it and I really, really can’t say how much I appreciate you all. I’ve been creating content for a while now, but it just never got the support I hoped for and,,, idk—just the fact that you guys like this blog just makes me so happy. And it’s not just the gifs: the gfx and writing that I post are the ones I care more about and I’ve gotten so many positive comments on it ahhhhhhh I want to hug each and everyone of you.

I know I don’t respond that well and those who tried to talk to me are probably disappointed by how I keep up a conversation but aklsfjasf I want to use this an appreciation post for all the wonderful people I met because of Stray Kids. Also, I want to say that, I’ve tried to talk and support you guys all—even if I don’t follow you, I lurk your blog and stuff—it’s just wow, we’re getting really big and I feel bad not being able to interact with everyone BUT I WANT TO SAY THAT ALL OF YOU ARE SO AMAZING AND WONDERFUL AND YOU WORTH MORE THAN YOU BELIEVE YOU DO. I think it’s easier for me to talk about random stuff on kakaotalk so uhhh, if you wanna shoot me a message my id is cicikookie!

And just to my followers in general: thank you so much for sticking around haha. I see a lot of regular usernames and lurk sometimes haha so ;)) Thank you ♡

Thank you again for being so supportive and I love interacting with all of you: LET’S SUPPORT STRAY KIDS TOGETHER FOR A LONG TIME!

So, I guess I’ll start with the personalized messages:

@changlix Wow Lexi, you were my first friend in this fandom anD IDK WHAT IT WAS THAT MADE ME DROP MY USERNAME TO YOU BUT AKLSJFALSF LOL I’M SO GLAD WE’RE FRIENDS because everyone loves you and you’re amazing and I love your blog and everything and alskdfjaslfd you’re really crazy but I love you and ahHhHhhh. I know you’re busy with life, but whenever we talk even for like 2 messages at a time, I love it so much. ESPECIALLY WHEN WE WERE THROWING SHADE AT EACH OTHER EARLY ON. I still. Can’t believe. yOUR PROFILE PICTURE IS STILL HYUNJIN ON TWT WYD GIRL. And you calling me a hoe—wow, I keep that close to my heart. HAHA BUT ALL JOKES ASIDE, I appreciate you so much for being the inclusive self that you are and keep being amazing. Okay, I’ll admit: when you told me to “take care of your man properly or i’m coming for him cici” I THINK THAT’S THE REASON I’M STILL LOYAL TO HIM OR I WOULD’VE SWERVED AGES AGO. Thanks Lexi, you’re best ;) altho how could you come for him when i am taking care of him, traitor

@manny27lei I’m adding you here but I don’t even wanna write you anything hAH. YOU DON’T EVEN TALK ABOUT SK. MAKE A SIDEBLOG AND I MIGHT

jk ily thanks for listening to me cry everyday and laskfdjasf it’s crazy how we met because of sk but it’s not even because of sk, it’s because of svt whoops

@seungminty yOU’RE STILL MY FAVE SEUNGMIN STAN AND YOU FOREVER WILL BE. ULT SEUNGMIN STAN. And ofc vocal line enthusiast. Thank you for being you and asklfdjasldf goodness, sometimes I worry that you’re being too hard on yourself MAR ILY AND THE GC LOVES YOU AND BE CONFIDENT! YOU’RE AMAZING AND A TIIINY BIT OF YOURSELF GOTTA FLAUNT IT. You keep the chat going and ahhHhhH I don’t even know how much I want to say the fact that I appreciate you so much. Thank you thank you thank you ♡ random confession: you make me really soft because you’re so soft and i just wanna hug you until everything goes well for you

@princeminho ASFKLJASLFD MAHI! MY CEREAL BUDDY! I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WERE A actually, the fact that he was your icon should’ve told me bUT WHAT. MINHO STAN SINCE DAY ONE? WHY DID IT TAKE YOU SO LONG TO ADMIT IT AHAHHAHAHAH I’M STILL SO SHOOK. You’re so lowkey about your love for him and I feel and it’s really cute and lksadfjalsd FAVE MINHO STAN BC I DON’T FEEL LIKE I NEED TO FIGHT YOU UNLIKE SOMEONE/ Thank you for just hanging around and taking our shit and just being you—I love talking to you so much, you’re so amazing and ♡♡♡♡♡

@9traykids I give up. You can have Minho. You save me every time you send in Hyunjin photos and I cannot appreciate you enough hAH THEY’RE SO CUTE AND I JUST START SPAZZING OUT AND ALSFJDASDF that one photo where you badly edited with “i ♡ cici” I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THAT AHHHHH. stop making me cry ; - ; I love talking to you and you’re so randomly funny and laskdfjasf THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU ILY ♡♡♡♡♡

@seungchanie HI YOU AMAZING PERSON I LOVE YOU SOSOSOOSOSO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. I’m not quite even sure how we met but it’s like one of those friendships where it feels like it’s been forever because, everything is just a blur but there are good moments, you know what I mean? Vale, I love you so much—you’re so cute and friendly and whenever we talk, I get so excited because you’re so excited and hehe aHHHHHHHH LEMME JUST HUG YOU. You’re always there and yOUR CONTENT. I LOVE YOUR CUTE LITTLE FANARTS AND THAT 3RACHA SCIFI AU WTF I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR YOUR AMAZINGNESS. You have a really simplistic style and I love it so much mwah

@hyunjinh laksdjf hi jas!! oKAY CAN I JUST SAY YOU’RE PROBABLY MY TUMBLR CRUSH BUT LIKE, WE TALKED BEFORE BUT I STILL DON’T ASLKDFJASD IDK YOU’RE REALLY COOL AND I REALLY LIKE TALKING TO YOU but idk how to keep a convo going and ahHhhHh LOWKEY BLUSHING BC I REALLY LIKE YOU HAHAH you’re really amazing and I love your blog and I hope we can become better friends hehe.

@straykidzz OKAY TBH IDEK WHEN OR HOW BUT THE FACT THAT WE NEVER HAD LIKE, A PROPER CONVERSATION and yet we act like good friends is aslkdfjasldf—maybe it’s a mutual thing hehe aHHH MANDA ILYSM AND JUST SEEING YOU ON MY DASH MAKES ME SO HAPPY. Or maybe it’s the fact that you’ve been here as long as me heheh. I hope we get to know each other better and skajflasdf W A H ♡♡♡♡♡♡ TAKE MY HEARTS

@chanbng Fishy, you. are SO AMAZING — we never seem to be on the chat at the same time but you’re so sweet and lasdfjasdlf wow i’m highkey crushin haha AHHHHHHHI JUST WANNA SAY I LOVE YOUR WORK SO MUCH AND THANKS FOR BEING YOU and i hope we get to talk more heheh

@aussieline KLASDFJALKSDF YA BIBI WE NEVER ACTUALLY HAD A REAL CONVERSATION BUT JUST, THIS MUTUAL THING WE GOT GOING ON? ILYSM YOU ARE SO AMAZING AND YOUR ARTWORK ALWAYS MAKES ME SMILE AND AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH we gotta talk more omg but thank you for providing my dark life with cute fanart and cute tags, you’re adorable

@jeongin-ie sup smol softie ilySM WE GOTTA START CHATTING FOR REAL OR SMTH YO which means i should be the one who sends the message but laskdfjsadf i su k but i also want to be better friends with you ; - ; hit me up with your kkt thO THEN WE CAN CHAT PLSPSPSLSPSL i hate chatting on tumblr lmao CJ, YOUR WORK IS AMAZING AND YOUR BLOG IS CUTE AND YOU’RE CUTE thanks for being you :)

@strgaykids Okay. I SAW YOUR 3K POST THING AND YOU ARE SO PRETTY I NEARLY FELL OFF MY CHAIR CONGRATS ON HITTING THE MILESTONE TOO! You make the fandom so much more fun and I love the shitposts you have TBH, I REALLY HOPE WE GET TO BECOME FRIENDS OR SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU SEEM, I was gonna say chill, but maybe lit? but that doesn’t really make anysense—tHE POINT IS: hiimciciandihopewe’lltalklaterinthefuturehehebyegottablast

@spearbin asklfjdsaldf pffffffft Camille right? YOU ARE SO TALENTED AND I JUST, LOVE YOU AS A PERSON AND SEEING YOU SPAZZ OUT IN THE TAGS IS SO CUTE and i have a highkey tumblr crush on you but like, we’ve interacted before and >///< AHHHH HIHIHI I REALLY WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND BUT I’M SUPER AWKAWRD I HIGHKEY HOPE YOU DON’T SEE THIS BUT YOU PROBABLY WILL AND PFFFFFT I’LL JUST, LEAVE NOW

@chanskitty AHHHHH DIAN HOW ARE YOU?????? I know we don’t talk as much anymore but — ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ You’re so amazing and chill and ahhhhhhhh. You are taking care of yourself right? Getting sleep? I HOPE WE GET TO TALK MORE SOON ♡ I’LL SEND A MESSAGE OR SMTH tag you in something????/// :DD

@realstraykids Did you know it took me a couple of weeks (or was it days) after following you to realize that your url is the same handle as Stray Kids’ official ig name alskfdjasdf I FACEPALMED MYSELF SO HARD LMAO — also hold on, I didn’t know you’re minho bIASED AH YESSSSSSSSSS Em. I really hope we get to know each other better beCAUSE YOU’RE SO COOL AND I LOVE YOUR EDITS SO MUCH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH They’re really different but a good kind of different and tell me your ways of sitting in front of a computer screen and masking each frame of a moving object hOW I HATE DOING THAT

@stray-k1ds hOLy cow I don’t think i actually know your name—is it Tiffany? I THINK WE FORGOT TO INTRODUCE OURSELVES—I’m Cici! AND I LOVE TALKING TO YOU YOU’RE SO CUTE AND LASKFJAAKD I love your cute little scenarios and all that and keep up the good work!!!!!!! I HOPE WE CAN BECOME BETTER FRIENDS AY

@jeongn pfft Nicolle, you actually haVEN’T DONE ANYTHING IN A WHILE THAT MADE ME WANT TO BLOCK YOU AHAHHALSFKJASLDF i still can’t get that image of tired chan and his accent coming out whAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME you can be so cool and so fREAKING TALENTED I CAN’T BELIEVE SOMEONE LIKE YOU FOLLOWS M E. I love the times we do actually talk, so! :))) I hope we become better friends ayyYyyyyYYY

@stray4419 hehehehehe i know we just started talking but Chi, you are so kindhearted and i’ve said it twice and i’ll say it again: thank you so so so much for personally offering me a shoulder to cry on haha. You have no idea how touched I was and I really can’t thank you enough. LET’S MEET UP SOMETIME AND CRY ABOUT STRAY KIDS TOGETHER YO AHHHHHHHHH

@woojinskids eASILY YOU’RE MY FAVE WOOJIN STAN M. YOU’RE SO SOFT FOR HIM AND READING YOUR TAGS FOR HIM IS SO CUTE I actually fall in love with him even more every time you talk about him aahahh I know we don’t talk as much but I really love seeing you around ♡

@chxngbins NehaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I MISS TALKING TO YOUUUUUUU and your old username not gonna lie alskdfjasdf whoops but AHHH YOU’RE SO CUTE and smart wow and asldfkjsdf I wish I was as levelheaded as you pFFT. You are so amazing and smol and i associate you with that picture of namjoon eating pizza lmao BUT AHHHH KEEP BEING YOU ILYSM

@felixsfreckles I WAS LOOKING THROUGH MY FOLLOWING LIST AND ASLKDFJASLDFK WTF I CAN’T BELIEVE I WASN’T FOLLOWING YOU THE ENTIRE TIME i feel so bad omg i’m sorry—actually hold on, are you not a felix stan anymore wH A T. but alskfa hiiiiii thanks for being amazing!!!!!!!! idk, you’re like one of those mutuals that, I’m sorta comfortable knowing that you exist? because you are so nice and we’ve been on here for so long kinda thing haha ♡

@bunny-minsungie asfjkdhsda I KNOW OUR CHAT IS PRETTY MUCH ALL BUSINESS SOUNDING/RELATED NOW BUT I JUST WANNA TAKE THE TIME TO SAY THANK YOU FOR BEING AMAZING and doing so much ; - ; Now that I think about it, we don’t even talk about anything else noooooooo but I really appreciate you Lys ♡ and that demon!hyunjin au is seriously taking over me omf

@bbang-channie Dude Leah, you are so cool omg—you’re so inviting and fun to talk to and AHHHHH I REALLY HOPE WE GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER BECAUSE LKSDJAFLSDF FROM THE SHORT TIME WE’VE TALKED VIA GCs, I love it ; - ; UGH I FEEL SO BAD FOR NOT KNOWING WHAT ELSE TO SAY BUT!!! I APPRECIATE YOU BUDDY!!

@seoracha I KNOW YOU’RE NOT EVEN HERE ANYMORE but i just wanna say you the craziest triple biaser i’ve met probably the only triple biaser i know and honestly idek how your brain works but lmao miri you’re so cool ily

@utlwoojisung @kim-squishmin @doublekn0t @chanyeolsidepiece @vallkyr @hi-hello32 @sparklingthoughtss @straykidding @indiepoptime @f3lix-lee @ultchris @maaatryoshka @straykidsstan @softlix OKOK I KNOW WE’VE TALKED BEFORE/ARE MESSAGING/SOMEHOW INTERACTED AND YOU SEEM COOL but alksdfsd like, I don’t know you guys as well bUT I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU ALL TOO AND I HOPE WE CAN GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER! :))

Ummmm, here are people that I follow and don’t really know but uhhhh ihopewegettotalkonedayahahiwantmorefriendsandyouguysseemreallycooltotalktoahhh @jicue @chans97 @cosychans @lees-minho @leefelixs @chngbins @changbinsplushie @starrykids @softstraykids @sprearb @stray-keeds-in-yo @straykeeds @hyuunjins @bvian @straybros @straykidsmp3 @straykiz @straybabies @stkids @1straykids @felixeslee @jeonginie @jeongin @str4y-kids @bchanies @changbln

#THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN A MILLION TIMES OVER ; - ;#cici's stray thoughts #milestone

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survivor-tierradelfuego · 4 years

Text

Ep. 10: “Not all hero’s wear capes, some wear pajama pants and robes!” - Cody

Amy A

Everything worked out PERFECTLY. Ugh I love a good plan. Hopefully my new core 4 plus Najwah stays in power.

Olivia A

WHAT THE HELL!! Grae was my closest ally this is so disappointing. On top of everything, Aimee didn’t even vote with us!! So we’re at a 6-4 disadvantage. I don’t think anyone wants to work with us. Our last hope is finding and buying the idols and utilizing Kalle’s fake idol. I hate this.

Pedro A

woke up on the bottom...and thinking i was going home...guess what...im still here ahahahhahahahahahahhhaahhah...yall though...kalle is my guardian angel ...like if it wasnt for that girlll i would be out

ben kessler

Wednesday, July 29th, immediately after the tribal grae got voted out: heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh

Aimee

I had a long day and now Grae is gone. I’m honestly crying. Jay asked if I was okay and the river of tears just started flowing. I only knew Grae for a short while and really wanted to get to know them more. They brought such a beautiful, fun and loving energy to this game. Grae, I really am going to miss you. I’m just gonna go hug a stuff animal.

Maddison

I knew Pedro was going to play an idol. He didn’t do one single puzzle, it’s obvious he felt safe. Snakes are slithering.

Kalle N.

I truly cannot believe that our plan worked but it did and my splitting headache is totally worth it. I really feel like I deserve an Emmy or an Oscar for my performance with Maddison and Olivia after tribal but it's fine. I have absolutely no idea what comes next but boi will it be messy. I'm so sorry it had to be Grae but I didn't know what else to do. Also I hate that I'm working with Ben but don't worry I will use my chaotic energy to go against him eventually. I will now be erasing myself from the narrative and taking a break for several hours. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Najwah

OK last night's tribal was wiiiiiiild af. I think the funniest part is that this all started with me planting a seed. I told Amy L that she is at the bottom of their alliance and that I was open to working with her to get Maddison out. She spilled all the tea about Maddison having two idols and that she's been wanting to gether out for a while bc she says the same thing to everyone lmao. I think the thing that pissed Amy off is that she told her "I feel closest to you" anyway, Amy didn't respond to me immediately so I thought she wasn't on board at first so I told Cody I'd work with him and that I have the idol from Alan. Ffs. Wrong move. Cody just trust other people wit information and it's really annoying. While I love Sarah, I can't really trust her bc she's really close to Ben and Aimee - who I do not trust. Well, Aimee I am not sure about. I guess I only don't trust her because of her close Ness to Ben and Ben blatantly lies. Anyway. So Amy told me that their alliance is still trying to vote Pedro which is perfect for us coz we can still stay Hanúha strong. So at this point I realise I wouldn't have to play my super idol and Cody wouldn't have to play his extra vote. Anyway. Amy tells Kalle about the plan to get Maddison out. I send Amy a long ass message Pedro sent Zack that Zack sent me. She tells her group that Zack had sent it to her, to solidify their vote for Pedro. And then She, Kalle, Ben and Pedro form an alliance and they pull off one of the most epic blindsided. I mean, wow. Amy told me beforehand so I saw it coming and I told Cody about it too. Lmao but Ccody just can't be low key he wrote something about Maddison's two idols and he asked in the Old Hanúha group whether anyone had known about the plan lmao obviously Ben was like "no" and wtf. Ben's facial expressions at tribal was hilarious especially because I know he careful conducted this whole genius plan. I mean people still think their alliances are with their alliances and that no one has moles but there are so many layers right now and there are a few moles.

Cody just needs to shut up. Be like Ben who claims that everything he is doing is for James lmao but is in a secret alliance with the person that got James out lmao love it. I love that I can see through some of the BS right now. The only person that could fuck up my game is Cody atm but I am taking a leap of faith and trusting him. He needs to trust me too. I kept telling him to just trust the process last night and he kept freaking out. I think the realisation of Ben being a BSer got to him a bit. Also, he toldd Sarah that I spoke to Amy? Like I'm so fkn mad. Can he just shut up? Ugh that's my biggest problem right now. I LOVE CODY OMG WE SPEAK ON VIDEO CALL LIKE EVERY HOUR LMAO but I'm just scared that he is too trusting with certain people, especially at this point in the game. He also doesn't know how to be low key lmao which is kinda funny. Also, Pedro. Wev ebeen talking a lot. Pedro's friggin Greek they're speech and the vote with Grae that ended with "sorry not sorry" just. Lmao. I wish I watched this on TV. I'm sad that it happened via skype😂😂 also I am not sure how this VL confession thing works. Did I say the right things? Yall probably have all the tea already. I'm a little sad that Grae went home. She seemed genuinely nice but she was our only option because Olivia won immunity. Maddison also made us all uncomfortable coz she took the time to chat to none of the new people at merge. Like? Olivia and Grae made the effort. She just seems too safe. Too comfortable. She isn't even participating in this challenge. Is she THAT comfortable or just pissed? Who knows? Never keep to yourself like that. It makes people suspicious. Pedro does seem very smart and manipulative though and I will be weary of him. Let's go idol hunting then woohoo.

Najwah

Also I keep laughing at how ridiculously bad I am at answering questions at tribal. Omg. Embarrassing. I need like a few minutes to THINK. I always look back, and wonder why tf I said what I said. In retrospect, I'd answer last night's question with "don't we all feel like we are on the outs?" ugh. I'm so bad at it. I realise it makes me look dumb and perhaps that's not a bad thing. I don't mind looking dumb tbh. Lmao.

Cody A.

I haven’t done one of these written confessions in a while! Obviously things have been absolutely fish crazy. Idek what fish crazy means but it just came to me. And on the topic of fish... I’m pretty positive I called Maola a bunch of sharks at tribal council.

If it wasn’t for Naj last night, I would have been completely blonde sided by the vote. I had no idea what was going on, I thought the plan was to put votes on Pedro and Madison and one of them would go.

About 20 minutes before tribal naj called me and said she did not want me to feel left out of the events that were about to occur. She told me the real plan of Pedro and Madison both playing idols and Pedro casting the sole vote on Grae. Not going to lie I was scared shitless... I was so close to writing kalles name as a safety net for myself. What if Pedro would’ve cast the sole vote against me? At the very least it would’ve been a 1-1 tie between myself and kalle. I just didn’t want to be Denise’d out of this game.

Ultimately I trusted my gut which told me to just trust naj. If I had got fucked over last night, at least I would’ve went out trusting the right people. Naj also told me about a 4 person alliance between Amy, Pedro, Kalle, and BEN... My Ben!!! Smh. So moving forward I have to be very careful with the information I give and receive from Ben which sucks because I thought I could trust him more :/ Basically THANK THE LORDT FOR NAJ. Not all hero’s wear capes, some wear pajama pants and robes!

Kalle N.

So this entire time that I've worked with Ben, he always dictates our moves and every single thing I can or can't say to certain people. If I suggest something he immediately turns it down and will only do what he wants. Men are the worst. Anyways, a little bit ago after he told me what our next move is and didn't let me have any input, he suddenly said "Actually what do you want to do? You go ahead and tell me what you want". That is EXTREMELY sus and makes me think that he's just trying to make me feel better while he's secretly plotting against me. I could go along with it and just let him vote me out bc honestly I'm exhausted, or I could reveal all of the insanity that happened in the last vote to my other alliance and then expose him to his own tribe for working with me. Which would get him voted out. But that's a lot of work so I'm ngl I'm leaning towards just getting voted out myself

Aimee

I’m so glad I’m not actually on an island playing real life Survivor right now. I would constantly be in the ocean or somewhere in the bushes bawling my eyes out. And then coming back to camp like, “oh hey guys! No puffy face here, I promise! Yeah everything is peaches! Hanuha strong! Those red eyes are just from too much sun, I think I need to lay down in the shade” I’m not crying over Grae and how shitty I was to Maddison or anything, JayKay I totally am! I hate that I didn’t tell Maddison the votes were going her way. I’m not even sure why I didn’t. I’m so sorry Maddison, I really hope we can rebuild our connection and work together again. I just feel like barf and am exhausted. Trying to play this game with a full time job is tough. I hope I have the emotional fortitude to pick myself back up and put on a poker face. The last thing I need is anyone figuring out my tells and knowing what I am up to. I want to work with Ben and Maddison the most at this point. I hope I can make that work out.

Pedro A

I'm honestly scared...for the next tribal ...I feel like everyone is gonna go after me...cause apparently I'm the villan lol

Kalle N.

It's a little hard to focus on the game at the current moment bc an exciting/terrifying development may be occurring in my life in the next couple of days. I'm having a prolonged anxiety attack. We were going to try to take out Aimee so F's in the chat to pay respect. Don't know what I'll be doing. Need to go cry in the shower now.

Najwah

Sigh. It's been a very long day. I really played hard at this challenge, knowing I have a 15% DA. Do I think it's insane that someone came into the game when half the players had already been eliminated and over half the 24 hours had already passed only to NOT even try to eliminate the one person not in our alliance in there, then pretend it's all kumbaya and eliminate our alliance (who we said we won't eliminate, we made a pact?) one by one? I mean yeah it's damn insane. And not that I'm a sore loser or anything, but I wish she'd have been there when things were actually heated and when everyone else was putting in the hard work. This isn't endurance in my opinion. This is coming into a game late and reaping all the benefits. However, well done on her tactic. Love it honestly. I think she made good moves and knew when to strike and for that, of course I think she's a fkn Queen. Even though I felt as though I was so close to winning immunity, even though I tried really hard. At the end of the day, it's how you outwit and outlast your opponents. Next time I'll be sure to not read challenge rules at 4am and then try to actually understand the game properly and how I too, can make things easier for myself dammit coz I think i keep making everything so hard for myself in this game ugh. I just need one fucking WIN. Goodness I am playing so hard. Wow. Wow. Starting to wonder what panderosa is like lol must be fun. Anyway I need to sleep coz the sleep deprivation is making me feel sick af and making me paranoid about having corona.

Aimee

https://lovelyygifss.tumblr.com/post/618070044309700608/deserved-more-than-0-votesssss QUEEN SARAH!!!!!!! 👑 ♥️ This challenge proved to me so much that Sarah is in it for the long haul with me! I could tell she was never guessing for my word and I wasn’t trying hers. Team Casanova is once again coming up equal on all challenges and I love to see it! I can’t believe I got to have my Michele moment and come from behind after being hours behind in the challenge and eliminating the last three people in a row to kick down that damn puzzle! I am on such an adrenaline rush!!! After the low lows of last night this rollercoaster of game really proves you can get right back up and thrive! Haha it was so hard saying my word since I’m a pretty positive person and my word was “not.” Sarah and I never gave up in this challenge and we ended up being the last two remaining!!! I also really bonded with Najwah and Cody. That challenge was so much more than immunity it was also a great opportunity to bond with cast mates and I really capitalized on that. Even during this challenge I patched things up with Maddison too and it seems like we are back to trying to make things work with us. I feel like Grae would want that for both of us too. I went from crying my eyes out the night before to total redemption today. It was on my bucketlist to win an individual immunity and I did it on something I never knew I could win. I’m just so amped and trying to calm myself down. I’m just https://youtu.be/erG5rgNYSd Wheeler island in the sun The song I was listening to when I won immunity. 🎃🐻🌈🍑❤️💜🧡💛

Sarah

There have been so many things that have happened today... This morning Ben, Naj, and I gave Cody enough coins for him to hopefully get the idol. Cody showed me what was in the store and how there were two necklaces for $20 which was odd. He got one of the necklaces and we thought it was a real idol. Tbh we still don’t know if it’s a real idol. Cody sent a fake message to Ben and I showing that it was a “fake idol” (he got the message from Naj when she had found a fake idol). We thought it was real but when Cody found it it said “what seems to be an idol,” which makes me think someone planted a fake idol there and he did get a fake idol. I will send in more soon...

Najwah

I thought that making it to merge would be enough for me lol but somehow my goal is just to get further now. I'm at a crossroads though bc there is no one I really want to get out or back stab or whatever. Cody found a supposed idol yesterday. I told him just to tell Ben it's a fake idol and if Ben wanted to use the fake idol, he could give him my idol. Thing is, Cody is paranoid about it being a real idol or fake one that he found. I think he should just chill about it and it'll be fine. I just want Cody to be calm, I feel like without Zack's constant talking and scheming, the silence is getting to him a bit. But I quite like the silence. He thinks it means something is happening or people are plotting against him. I just think it means people are trying to sleep lol. I mean even if he was a target, he still has an idol. Ugh. Anyway it's actually a religious holiday for me today and tomorrow. So I will spend time with my husband and perhaps go to a fancy restaurant or something. I haven't felt fancy in so long and I realised everyone in this game has really seen gross, messy haired, late night Najwah lmao like I usually don't even let my friends see me this way

Najwah

It's silly trying to keep wondering who tf I can trust. I need to just go with my gut. There are a few people in the game I really like. Cody, Sarah, Amy, Pedro and Aimee. I don't know the rest and I don't trust Ben. I don't know what he's up to. He was supposed to be in some secret alliance with Kalle and Amy but he told Cody and I about them so what's really happening? Who knows? Also he keeps asking me what do I want to do who do I want out? Lmaoooooooooo.

Najwah

We had a lot of deep, crazy conversations yesterday and one of my favs were actually drooling over survivor players and realising how gay everyone is lmao. I love that. As someone who has struggled with my sexuality for most of my life, thinking I'm gay for a long time and then finding myself attracted to boys too was bizarre in the early 2000s. and being told being bisexual is a "phase" or "confusion" or that it was bc I went to an all girls school (shout out to Rhenish girls High), being in a space where everyone is really open and accepting of all this is amazing. I'm happy i live in a country where gay marriages have been legal since 2006 and ironically being trans or gay is not that big of a deal here as it is in countries way more progressive than ours. I still struggle with non binary pronouns but I am learning thanks to this game. I feel free just being who I am, whoever tf that is in this game. And for that I'm obviously very thankful. Today, I'm married to a man who appreciates my sexuality and is open to me exploring it even more. Its been a long journey and it makes me extremely happy seeing people in this game, so much younger than me and so much more sure of themselves. I'm happy that they will be spared a lot of pain and confusion. I love GenZ. I love that they just are who they are and there is no pretense. This Is so important and a luxury previous generations could only dream. Of.

Sarah

From two nights ago.... https://youtu.be/uebz8rVKNbg https://youtu.be/xQyiuiGeEpo

Olivia A

Our plan for this vote feels really ambitious but I think it’s gonna work. We’ll likely get the numbers back :)

Maddison

I’m going to have to use my advantage tonight to save my ass. Guess that’s what advantages are for, eh?

Ben Kessler

I am trying to vote kalle out. If it works, my name will be out there but it may pay off. Maddison and Olivia are definitely going for me which is fine. I need to tell Pedro 5 minutes before tribal to trust me.

Kalle N.

Maddison will use her advantage, Olivia will play my idol, the only votes that will count will be the votes we put on Cody. That's it that's the plan

Cody A.

https://youtu.be/PuZChTTJzzU

Pedro A

Okay so me olivia kalle and amy are voting cody...plus maddison will leave tribal......and olivia will play the idol kalle has....i swear if olivia votes for me...and i go HOMEEE....IM DONEE...i have a bad feeling about this tribal...im trusting the devil lol

Olivia A

Kalle has been playing double agent this whole time and told everyone about the safety without power advantage grrr what a mess

Maddison

I’m making a big move tonight and I’m not sure yet how it will pan out.

Olivia A

Kalle has been playing double agent this whole time and told everyone about the safety without power advantage grrr what a mess

Olivia A

Initially we were going to all (Maddison, Cody, Najwah, Sarah, Aimee, and I) vote Ben but we are going to switch it to Kalle because Aimee and Ben are kinda close and we want to keep Aimee as a number. I’m happy to see Kalle go after how much she has lied to Maddison and me.

Olivia A

I am SO nervous for this vote. Here is the whole plan: Maddison will play her safety without power advantage and I will play the (fake) idol that Kalle gave me. This is just so that Kalle doesn’t get tipped off that we know about her lies. Kalle believes Maddison, Amy, and I are voting for Cody and think that she is voting for him as well. In reality, Cody, Aimee, Sarah, Najwah, Amy, and I are voting for Ben. We suspect Ben, Kalle, and maybe Pedro are voting for me and expect it to work because of the fake idol that Kalle planted. I really hope this works because if people are lying then I’m definitely going home.

Ben Kessler

Dearest confessional, My life is out on the line. I am in a very vulnerable position right now and if I stay in the game tonight damage control must be done. There are many complicated plans and I work best under chaos, so these votes are hopefully good for my game overall. If kalle actually gives her idol to Olivia and we vote out kalle, maddison and Olivia and Amy will be pissed, but they do not have the numbers. I would need to do some more work to make sure I get the info that kalle is currently giving me, but it's not as bad as going farther with kalle and then losing later on. I now need to video call kalle goodbye.

#episodes

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calzonekestis · 7 years

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@agent13: Jackie hasn’t been active in quite a while, but she’s always been kind to me and her blog has has A+ opinions and content.

@ar-se-ne: IDEK how long I’ve been following Cristian, but he’s a really nice guy with whom I have similar interests. He’s also someone that I’ve kind of of been inspired by in some ways. I don’t want to get too personal information, but it involves introspection and self improvement and yeah. I’m proud of him. He should be proud of himself.

@chujo-hime: I remember like circa 2012-2013 I had a ~moment~ because the webmaster of FYBN followed me. Chujo always has quality content, and is someone I respect for being very genuine and respectful. If something’s drawn her ire or made her bitter, she has a reason for it, and can write a solid meta on why it’s bullshit. At the same time, she’s someone who I’ve looked to when I consider how to handle my own fandom disagreements. It’s not worth arguing with people on the internet, it’s never fun. So long as people enjoy what they enjoy? Stay in their lane and let others do the same? We can all get along~~~

@cimikat: Katie is another person who I don’t even remember following. I can’t really remember my tumblr experience before her, though? I can say without any hyperbole though that she’s probably the nicest person I’ve ever encountered on this website? Literally, I can’t think of a single time I’ve seen her be salty. Upset and disappointed, sure, but she doesn’t wallow in negativity the way some people do and have in the past. If she enjoys something, she’s enthusiastic about it. If she no longer enjoys it? You won’t see her b*tch about it. She’s just very upbeat.

@dazzledfirestar: Daz shares my love of certain villains (Sin and Crossbones) while fully recognizing they’re deplorable human beings. That’s just one of the more superficial reasons I respect her. She’s another person who’s also genuine, and whom by following I feel like I’ve actually learned a lot? And I actually like to learn. Ignorance isn’t always mean spirited, and in the past I’ll admit I’ve been an ignorant white boy. Not that I was prejudice, there was just a lot I was either blind to or unaware of. I’ve learned a lot about Romani culture by following Daz. A lot of history, a lot about the struggles and persecution they still face to this day. I also learned lot about the LGBT community; which honestly was a big help when I was trying to figure out/accept my bisexuality.

@diaryofawriter: What do I even say about you? believe we met because we both RP’d in the same fandoms and enjoyed the same content. Comics, OUAT, Harry Potter, and Star Wars. She’s both listened to me flail or rant countless times, either feigning or expressing genuine interest… for that I’m truly appreciative. She’s also helped me when it comes to letting go of things that are no longer fun or enjoyable for me (OUAT) and focus on the things that do bring me joy. A role model in that sense. >.>

@diisnerd: Leah. Leah was someone I met though a mutual friend, and while they’re closer than I am with her… I let me just say I have so much fucking respect for Leah. She’s just a good, loyal, protective, and caring friend. We have a lot of the same interests, too. We don’t talk all that often about them, but when we do it’s always an enjoyable conversation.

@dreamimpcssiblethings: Kath. Jesus. You know how much you mean to me, I should hope. You’re one of my best friends. It’s not even that we like a lot of the same things (we do) but you’re just very hard not to like? You’re super intelligent, super passionate. Be it about fandom things, classic literature, or just life. If one good thing came out of the rise and fall of my OUAT fandom, it was meeting you. All the salt is worth it for knowing you~

@ilikethequiet: Ally was one of the first people I met in the OUAT fandom, via a mutual friend/aquiantence. She’s a wizard when it comes to making edits and graphics. She’s someone with whom I’ve been salty on many an occasion, and I lured her into the iZombie fandom with me when our favorite actors transitioned over to that show. She’s just a delight. She also somehow made an AU graphic for a trashy ~problematic~ hateship look classy? Real friends hunt down topless screencaps so they can make you smutty collages for your birthday.

@jjoelswatch: Sarah is one of the first people I can remember following on tumblr. She’s another person where I wouldn’t recognize my dash without her. I’m starting to sound like a broken record, but I really respect her. She’s just a good person, very down to Earth and very witty. We don’t talk that much, but it’s always very pleasant when we do? Sarah was the first one to reach out and respond when I came out as bi. I’m still not out to my family. When I posted that little confession, I didn’t know what to expect. I simultaneously cared and didn’t care how people responded. It was weird, because it was something I had tried to deny and rationalize for so long. It’s something that no one should even care about, but Sarah empathized and realized it was kind of a big deal for me? Her reassurance that I wasn’t alone, even in such a short and concise message meant a lot. She’s one of my favorite mutals tbh.

@kennyhoemega: Bethany is a Goth Goddess. I’m not just saying that because she demanded the best compliment. On a superficial level, she’s just really pretty?? Now that’s out of the way, let me tell you legitimate reasons why she’s one of my favorite people to follow. She’s got great taste in music, she loves Star Wars, dabbles in Marvel and Harry Potter. You see a theme here with people I follow. She just also tends to reblog really neat things unrelated to those? I’ve gotten into astrology because of her. It’s mostly her fault that I’ve started watching wrestling again, bc there’s nothing good on TV and her passion is contagious and the gifs she reblogs are wild. She also has the best tags out of anyone I follow, bar none. I don’t even know when I first followed her either, around 2012 or so, but I know that it was absolutely 100% Sarah’s fault. Thank you, Sarah. TBH the first time I remember interacting with Bethany was when I added a gif and sarcastic comment to one of her salty posts about people trying to woobify Brock Rumlow. The next day, I realized this was likely not the best way to make a first impression? Fortunately she assured me that she got it, and that we were cool. Which is a relief, because as I’ve told her (and IDK if she believes me) she’s probably one of the coolest people I follow? It’s come to light that neither of us are big talkers, so we don’t actually talk that much… but she’s really rad. IDK when it started but she’s consistently been in my tumblr crushes for ages. Lots of mutual reblogging, again, lots of respect. She’s witty and intelligent. That’s not butt-kissin’, I’ve seen her post about certain tests and looked them up out of curiosity and wow. Yeah. Bethany also has the longest compliment, so that should make her happy. There was something about my needing a nuclear bunker if she wasn’t on this list. She deserves it though, she’s another one of my faves.

@kittenspawn: Nichole is my unofficial big sister. I say that as someone who actually has a big sister. She messaged me in 2012 with questions about Bucky and Natasha, and from that point on she was screwed. She got me into Hellboy in turn, but I like to think I��ve thoroughly corrupted her and caused her to spend far too much money on certain things. Nichole is someone who I can go weeks without talking to, and yet we can fall right back into conversation as if we talked the night before. She’s been a terrible enabler over the years, but she’s also been there for me during some difficult times and when I’ve done very stupid and questionable things. I know she’ll say I’ve been there for her as well, but the scales are seriously tipped here. When I need advice, or when I need to talk to someone about something serious… she’s the person I go to. I can always count on her, and she’s pretty much family at this point.

@ohmygil: Gil. I think I found you through Davis? You’re just a very sensible person, and very rational about a lot of things. It’s refreshing to see that on the internet these days. You’re someone who I don’t think I’ve ever had a actual ‘discussion’ with, but I’m including you here because I really enjoy your presence on my dash. I stopped reading DC regularly with the New 52, and pretty much all my DC intake these days is absorbed through your blog. You also get points for liking Superman. Some people think he’s too powerful, or a big boy scout, and while I’ve never regularly collected his titles I am a fan.

@prof-anity: …You know, I was tempted to leave you off this list just to be a dick. Yours would be the longest entry, so I’m keeping it short because what is there to even say? How much needs to be said? Seven years ago you met a bitter teenage douchebag on a message board. You made the mistake of accepting his friendship when he reached out to you. You’ve stuck with me through highs and lows, man. It’s one of those relationships again, where we may not talk every day. We may not be up to date on the details and goings on in each other’s lives… but you said it yourself. Our friendship has been one of the best constants in the past seven years. A third of your life, btw. Isn’t that depressing? You are, truly, the best friend I have ever had. One day I’m going to meet you, hug you, and then insult you to your face. You’re truly a brother to me. I love you.

@readytocomply: Stef! Stef is a delight. Always pleasant, always fun. She’s also super creative? She makes great edits, great cosplays, and is just pretty damn great over all. Stef is another person who I try to model myself after when it comes to shipping things. Re: Multi-Shipping. Stef ships Steve and Bucky. I do not. Stef also ships Bucky and Natasha. Stef respects canon and appreciates Sharon Carter. All this may sound inane but I’m glad I didn’t meet Stef until I did, because 2013 Tim might have been a little asshole re his ships and missed out befriending a great person because of his own stubborness… that could cross into douchebaggery. Stef has quality content on her blog at all times. Sebastian Stan. Marvel. Star Wars. Mark Hamill.. Harry Potter. Tron. Just general film. Chicken nuggets. Stef is a quality person with a quality blog.

@rocktheholygrail: Dana is someone I met through the iZombie fandom, and she is another wizard. A gif wizard, who has too often indulged my requests or suggestions. She’s another person whose enthusiasm is contagious. I was able to convince her to watch the entirety of Prison Break (save the revival) in less than a month before it was taken off Netflix. I don’t think I ever apologized for that. Dana also is trash tho, bc like me, her favorite iZombie character is the trashiest. I say that tongue in cheek, at least the first part. It’s really been great though to have someone who recognize a character as both human and horrible, and who is capable of watching and enjoying them despite their being problematic. If this was another fandom, I’d expect to be judged or ostracized, but instead I’m enabled once again.

@swanmagic: Gia is another person who doesn’t post on tumblr much (at least her personal) these days, but I’m including her because she’s been one of my favorite RP partners for years and we still talk from time to time on twitter. She’s just a great writer, great person, great friend. She’s another person who has excellent (and varied) musical taste.

@thealbooty: I met Alberto through Davis. It’s another thing where I don’t remember the circumstances, there was just one day where suddenly Alberto was in my life. Alberto is just a good guy… and I just mean good. He’s pure. If Davis is Spongebob, I’m Squidward and Alberto is Patrick. Only not as dumb. We don’t talk as much these days which makes me sad, but I love him too. Back in the day the three of us used to have group Skype chats and watch movies together. There was one day when Davis couldn’t make it or wasn’t online, and he and I just watched Hellboy and chatted for a few hours. That’s when Alberto went from being a friend of a friend to my friend. I’m glad he’s my friend.

@thejazzdalek: Max is another person, like Gil, who I’ve never really had a discussion with? He’s followed me for ages though, both on tumblr and on twitter and I appreciate that. I don’t really know him that well after all this time, embarrassingly. He seems like a nice guy, though. Big into Doctor Who, OUAT, DC, Marvel, just sci-fi and fantasy in general.

@timelessmulder: Emily-Alice is someone who I’ve been mutuals with since like 2012 I think. I don’t even know if we’re in the same fandoms anymore, but we keep following each other regardless. Over the years we’ve discussed everything from OUAT to DC, and these days when we talk it’s mostly to pick apart The Flash. She’s someone who has been with me for ages though, and has seen things.

@uhohjonsnow: So Betty is one of the first friends I actually made on tumblr when I engaged in fandom? I was an obnoxious teenage white boy who thought he was straight and acted like it, and she tolerated me anyway. Again, she’s someone who was witness to a lot of nonsense. We really were dicks to each other, lmao. I adore her though, bc she really is sweet and laid back. We went for years without talking,not due to any falling out, but we just drifted apart. She actually took a year off tumblr and recently returned, and we reconnected. She also accidentally deleted her blog and started fresh, so um, go follow her!

@uminoko: We’ve been mutuals for like years, and she’s just a nice person? Again, that’s a pathetic compliment, but it is true. She’s also another individual who I feel I’ve learned from by following? Part of that has to due with her being a former civil rights lawyer, but beyond that she’s just yet another smarty pants who I don’t talk to that much. She also messaged me privately when I came out, and made me laugh when I needed it. Also, she’s an actual Russian who is a fan of Black Widow and Winter Soldier.

@uncleclustersthirdbrain: Donnie. This might be a little weird, because Donnie and I only reconnected like two weeks ago after three years of not really talking to each other? Again, there’s no bad blood, and he deserves to be on here. I’ve actually known him for five years, we met through his girlfriend Morgan. Donnie’s another person who has seen things, re seen me at my worst. Most obnoxious, outspoken, salty, dickish… and so on. I’ve always sort of looked up to him, though? Back when 17 going on 18 year old Tim met him, there was a sort of ‘notice me sempai’ thing going on. He’s yet another person who is too cool for me. In spite of toolish tendencies, there were times when Donnie reached out to make sure I was okay when I was being dramatic and having anxiety attacks over damn comic books. It sounds ridiculous, and it was, but at the time comics were my escape and how I dealt with a lot of tough shit I was going through. I was invested. Heavily invested, to an unhealthy degree. He’s just a good person who cares about his friends, and people in general. He’s also a fucking brilliant writer, who just recently put out his first comic. So I’m going to use this as another excuse to pimp it for him. Not because he’s my friend, but because I’m a selfish bastard who wants to read more and wants you to give him money so he can make more. He makes no personal profit from it, all the money goes towards paying his artists and the production. I’ve pretty much walked away from buying monthly comics, but as I’ve told Donnie, this is one I would pull. The first issue of And The Hare had some of the best dialogue I’ve read in a comic in easily the last year. At least.

@xeleyan-tequila: I met Chelsea through the OUAT fandom, and like me she gave up on the show a long time ago. She’s another person I don’t really talk to that much these days, but she’s a lovely person with a lovely blog who posts a little bit of everything. There are personal details to our relationship I won’t get into bc it’s no one’s business, and though we’re still friendly we sort of fell out of touch. I enjoy following her though, and she’s a wonderful human being.

#cw long post #long post for ts

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flowurfields · 7 years

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i really need advice pls read

ok this is prob going to be long, bear with me idk what to do. i have this friend that i ranted about like a week ago the one who copied me and we just had issues in general (she had issues with everyone in the group) sooooo idk if i mentioned this but when my friends and i studied abroad over the summer my friends and i were close but not so much with my other friend (i’ll call her sally for sakes of the story). so during this trip sally felt excluded bc she’s just kinda full of drama and she started telling other people on the trip that her mom was like terminally ill or sick or something and saying how us excluding her made us look really bad it was just so random like her telling this to random people so that was like the first major flag. initially none of us believed her story bc sally has a history of lying about small things (like saying her keychain is from fendi when it’s from nordstrom, you know dumb stuff). anyways we had a hard time believing the story which i know sounds awful but that’s just how bad the lying had gotten. anyways, that was summer of last year.

after that experience the girls and i were just like saying it’s pretty bad if she lied about that because what if something serious actually happens like we’re not going to believe her the second time around you know? we didn’t actually find out the truth, but it was just safe to assume that it was a lie there was just so many holes in the story like how she said that her parents sent her on the trip to stay away from the hospital stuff but it just didn’t add up because we had to sign up for everything practically 6 months in advance (technically 9 as it was a summer abroad trip and planning process lasted the duration of the school year) so idk it just didn’t make sense especially since she had a younger brother at home and it just seemed weird they would only send her away if that makes sense. anyways, we never actually got to the bottom of it which i guess is a red flag just because she let it drop. i feel like if it was true she would give an update like, my mom is better or something like that. but the issue just disappeared altogether so idk big red flag now that i realize it.

ok so there’s been some up and downs with sally since the studying abroad trips. at one point we were SUPER close because she was helping me model for my portrait photography but the entire time she was copying me as a photographer (that’s a whole other rant). . anyways things got to a rough point after i called her out and rn it’s just kinda like a weird moment lol. but literally yesterday night she called me flipping out about an ‘emergency’ she called saying ‘you know how my dad has been sick?’ and i was like boi what. and she's like ‘ he’s been super sick and he’s been on these meds that agitate him and he’s been abusive. the other night i went into my parents room and i got knocked out by my dad and i had to be taken to urgent care’. etc. like already there were so many holes. like 1 idk if he knocked her out and she’s saying that her parents had to take her to urgent care it just doesn’t make sense. cps or something would’ve gotten involved right ? ? like they wouldn’t just not question her being knocked out idek. and then i was like ok if you’re getting abused you need to say something and she like didn’t really respond but she did say that she talked to the school’s counselor and said that the counselor had told her to just keep it low key basically and only keep this between her friends so that the situation doesn’t get out of hand (talk wise) and that was like another big red flag bc a therapist or licensed counselor would not say that they would definitely say to tell someone higher up like an adult or the cops right? and we go to a private catholic high school there is no way they would let that go unnoticed either they would at least call home or do something to get involved. things just didn’t add up from my perspective. she did open up to my other friend molly but molly told me that sally was telling her the mom was the abuser but sally was telling it me it was her dad so that was another issue idk

so here’s the dilemma. idk whether to believe her or not. because if she’s telling the truth then i need to step in or get her some help because both molly and i have been in abusive situations and we would’t want anyone else to go through that shit. but if she’s lying like that is so fucked up like beyond fucked up because you just don’t lie about that shit. she would be lying about someone being sick and then accusing her parents of abusing her. maybe there is truth in what she’s been saying and shes been stretching the truth? but even that is pretty fucked up like idek another reason it’s fucked up is she’s been using the situation to her advantage like she uses it to guilt us into stuff which is also fucked up. but idk that’s why idk what to do because if it’s true i need to step in and if not both molly and i don’t know how to expose this and get the truth out without starting shit so ughhdsfkdslfjdslkfjkl. i talked to one of my teachers who I'm close with and he’s trying to do what he can with what authority he has so idk we’ll see but yeah i just don’t know what to do because like i said if it is true i can’t just sit on that information idekkk idk if anyone even read this i’m going to lose like 11 followers but idec anymore

#flowurfieldstalks

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survivorathena-allstars · 6 years

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Episode #11: “I Love a Good Heist” ~ Will

It fucking worked and I want to redact everything bad I just said.

i'm none of them saying anything to me yet and I'm also me not seeing this coming when Will was all of a sudden not in favor of the telling duncan to idol plan lmaoooo gg

is no one going to message me!! i am so freaking upset right now and i kinda just want to explode but really no one is going to try to justify themselves to me, i'm a little disappointed tbh and i got to learn how to win a fucking immunity for once

AMANDA AND HER MOTHER ARE ICONS I JUST GOT MY SECOND IDOL, I DO NOT DESERVE THIS

I'm so mad right now I want to SCREAM, why the HECK did I get that many votes, something isn't adding up and I'm just so frustrated. Also who made me the glee parchment, if you're reading this TELL ME it was the only thing good about tonight I am really just SO DONE WITH ALL THESE SNAKES. I'm being so extra right now but these people make me want to throw my laptop into the road.

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Cameron told Emily to vote Duncan :) We love a snake within our alliance :) I love a good heist :)

emily is a queen again btw, I love her

i don't know why i'm so salty

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HOLY CRAP WE DID THAT! Duncan didn't play his idol and I'm literally crying. We killed one of the biggest threats in the game. And I was behind it. What. the. fuck.

fskhjf god the lady at the dining hall asked me how i was and on the outside i was like "good" but on the inside im like "playing virtual editions ofr trash reality shows on the internet with strangers I have never met has left me feeling like i want to cry bc ppl lied to me have u ever been lied to how did u get over it and also can i please have some chicken nuggets" jesus and then someone talked to me and i didnt know how to respond bc i was having an EPISODE in the dining hall it's fine this is fine ________________________________________________________________ let the ass kissing begin

I'm gonna confess tomorrow, but I have become aware.... of some shady stuff, and am now in a really good spot... or at least I think I am

OH MY GAWD NO IDOL PLAY. ARE YOU MCFUCKIN KIDDING ME!? I dont want to say that I am large in part why Duncan is @ Ponderosa right now BUT WIG WOW IS THIS THE BIGGEST MOVE IVE EVER MADE IN A GAME OR WHAT. ALSO i'm here for weasel discourse: [1/11/18, 10:48:07 PM] Dana Barry: because clearly we both bein sneaky weasels [1/11/18, 10:48:54 PM] Owen (Crossroads Host): kfashj who the bigger weasel [1/11/18, 10:49:01 PM] Dana Barry: OWEN PLEASE [1/11/18, 10:49:12 PM] Dana Barry: LETS NOT COMPARE WEASEL SIZES [1/11/18, 10:49:15 PM] Owen (Crossroads Host): OMFG [1/11/18, 11:12:14 PM] Owen (Crossroads Host): I’m gonna go eat now I’ll be back later [1/11/18, 11:31:53 PM] Dana Barry: pls eat my weasel friend ________________________________________________________________ https://vine.co/v/hWVwWE6UFqa/embed/simple Me when the people of this game give my dumb ass power and I crave more because I'm a goblin.

This was recorded before the vote im SORRY im a flop

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It's time to strike at Owen. He's onto us. We're making big moves left and right, and he knows that we're going to get targeted as threats soon if we're not careful. He said we have to get rid of Ruthie and Kevin, otherwise people are going to start thinking about taking them to the end. Of course, that's my plan. I think I want to sit with Ruthie and Ali/Dana at the end. Will, Emily, or Owen would surely beat me. I'm here, masterminding moves, deciding whether or not someone easy goes home, and someone is going to target me soon. My idol can only save me for one round, and I need to make sure it's a good one. Lily was a good move. Duncan was a better move. Owen could potentially be the best move. Then I know my core four is completely loyal to me and only me. This is my ideal boot list now: Owen (10th) Ashvika (9th) Kevin (8th) Zach (7th) Emily (6th) Will (5th) Dana (4th) And then a final three of Ruthie (3rd), Ali (2nd), and myself (1st!) That's all. Love you. It's time for me to go focus on winning again.

Boy I'm mad. Duncan was the one person who I could put some trust in--and even then there wasn't much--and now he's dead. Now I feel like my game's already gone through the gutter and there's no hope left. Shoutout to Ali and Cameron specifically for both telling me "Oh yeah I'm sorry for not keeping you in the loop at the first vote, I promise I'll do it this time?" Then, what did they do? Not that. I'm...mediocrely okay with Ali because like Ali's nice and a sweetheart (actually I'm kinda mad at Ali because I pm'd him asking what happened like immediately after tribal and he never responded even though he's talked multiple times in the tribe chat...wig). But Cameron??? This is the third time. We've voted together once, at the Madison tribal, even though you've told me multiple times you want to work with me. I was okay with being 'left in the dark' with the Lily vote because I wasn't actually in the dark. I feel like this was a chance for him to prove his word to me, that you do want to work with me. This was the chance to make or break my trust. And both times I've come to him before the vote and he's basically said 'oh yeah it's still this way like we said haha.' And then??? It isn't lmao. Like if you don't want to work with me, cool! I understand that the game rolls out that way! But don't come to me with fake promises then, saying you want to work with me, only to actually vote with me 3/4 times. At some point no amount of apologies will make up for your actions. I don't know if I've reached that breaking point, but it's getting close. I get that I started the merge on the wrong foot, and that I should've voted Lily instead and sticking with Ruthie was a mistake. I know I got myself into this mess but I'm just annoyed and frustrated. I've been perfectly honest with everyone about who I'm voting for each round, and I get silence and vague responses in return. If I feel mad enough tomorrow I might try going for Cameron since he has an idol. Or at least like throwing his name around and spilling that fact. But who knows who knows he has an idol though. If it works, it works. If it doesn't, I might get home which I honestly wouldn't be super upset at this point and I would get to be a bitter juror too!

I love Dana

I am an Owen stan again too, I love him. I need to confess more, because it might be big move season this round, but I also don't knowwwwwww. AHH, I hate this yikes. I just get scared by Dana/Will/Cameron as a grouping, with Zach and Ruthie is already 5, which is scary

i have realized i'm quite irrelevant in this game and basically out of the loop without duncan because all these supposed idols that everyone has keep popping up left and right. i feel like my time is coming soon

"Who do you trust the least" "Who is most likely to flip on their alliance" "Who is ruining their own game" "Who is at the bottom but doesn't know it" "Who is going to go home for being the biggest threat" "Who is going to be blindsided by their alliance" literally they wish they were as relevant as me huh ________________________________________________________________ Actually though, I am going to make sure every one of these comes true. Let's see here.... "Who do you trust the least" "Who is most likely to flip on their alliance" "Who is ruining their own game" "Who is at the bottom but doesn't know it" "Who is going to go home for being the biggest threat" "Who is going to be blindsided by their alliance" Flipping on my alliance? Easy. If they insist, that's what I'll do. I will reallllly make it clear that they were right in trusting me the least :) And! They'd better hope! They take me out! For being a "threat" because if they do NOT, I am going to make sure each and everyone one of them is GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They better not feel comfortable for even one second bc if there's one good thing to come out of this, it's that I no longer feel comfortable at all and hopefully me playing on edge will end up better for me. I just had an hour long call with Ali and we basically like....discussed everything. I don't know if I can trust him, but I sure as hell can't trust my alliance to take me to the end, so what have I got to lose? I told him I know about his idol, which I think was a move to hopefully get him to open up to me. And he told me that the merge idol has been taken from the shore. I'm assuming Emily, Ashvika, Cameron, or Ruthie have it bc they searched there before Ali. Ashvika I straight up asked and she said no.... I have a bad feeling Cameron is sitting on two idols rn and I don't know if I can handle it. But I was like.... idk I said a lot of things to Ali and I meant them. He said he felt like he didnt have a number one, and I told him we could be there for each other. He has a spot in my final three now whether he believes it or not and I would gladly sit at the end with him at this point. But we need numbers and we need a play. It feels so soon to try to flip on will dana Cameron but like..... If we wait until next vote to idol someone out, and Ruthie/Zach are glued to them, then at final 8 it would be four on each side (assuming I can get emily and ashvika to be with ali and I, and Kevin leaves at 10 which idek if it is happening). So that makes me think like....okay so maybe a move needs to happen at 10 that puts Kevin, Emily, Ali, Ashvika and I in a majority? But it's so fricking risky bc idk if they're going to come after me or come after Kevin or Emily or....idk. It's going to be rough as hell. But I'm ready. I don't know if I'm going to win this season, but I sure am going to try my hardest to change it. ________________________________________________________________ (On the other hand I love Dana, Wil, Cameron, and Zach as people so idk I'm stressin mad rn.)

Here's my long confessional like always explaining the events of last round and then the progress for this current round. So last round was just a mess. I brought up to Dana the night of immunity results (congrats Will you freak) that Duncan is a threat. He has an immunity idol and a hideout advantage, if we don't do it at 11, he'll be free till technically final 8 without being targeted. In addition, it limits our options down the line. Dana agreed and said it wasn't bad, and ended up running to people with this idea without crediting me. Grrr. It's fine. Dana, Will, Cameron all excluded Owen in this plan and I believe think they orchestrated it themselves when in reality it was kind of my idea but they pushed it forward so it's whatever. I called Emily in panic because I didn't want to exclude her and little do I know that Cameron already informed her of the decision before I finalized mine. In the end, Duncan leaves 8-3. Post-vote, I am trying to reestablish any trust I have with Ashvika. I can sense she doesn't trust me which is completely reasonable and fine, but I am wanting to work with her. Kevin is irrelevant but I want to talk to him and form a good connection with him. Now, this vote. Cameron was my target. Will talked about how he wanted Cameron out to Dana who obviously relayed that information to me, and I think Owen was fine with doing it too. I am also trying to formulate connections with Owen despite the fact that he knows I blatantly lied about the Duncan vote and all. However, Cameron won immunity, so good job to him. This means that my target probably shifts to one of two people. First is Kevin. He's kind of an easy vote, a person who wasn't really around and is definitely the most inactive. If we need an easy tribal, it's him. Ruthie's another easy vote but right now is not her time and I genuinely love her, but I do enjoy everyone so I can't use that. I'm not sure how likely this option is. I think I could get it rolling if need be. My second is Ali. This is just because recently i've felt really distant with him. I think I can trust him, yeah, but from what I know Owen is fine with him leaving and it's like... yeah. I think Ali should go relatively soon. If the votes are on him i'm most definitely going to vote him out unless i'm frightened of an idol play. I am honestly kind of scared of the alliance consisting of Cameron/Will/Owen/Dana + Ali. It's like... they're turning on each other briefly. Cameron is rubbing people the wrong way, which I love him and all truthfully, but he is kind of aggressive with dominating votes and spearheading decisions, which I think is ending up biting him in the ass. I truly think he'll be one of the next couple of votes. Ali is like the alliance's +1 so if they can vote him out, i'm down with that too. Ashvika, Emily, Ruthie, and Kevin are kind of on the outs of that alliance (with me of course) but more distant than myself. I need to utilize those bonds to kind of renege the major alliance cause I don't feel like being cut near the end. No ma'am. So having Ali leave this vote, then Cameron next vote, followed by Kevin leaves a final 7 of Ashvika/Ruthie/Owen/Zach/Dana/Will/Emily. In this scenario it's like... it gets hard. I want to work with Emily, but there are so many people here that are such strong contenders. Owen, Dana, Will and Emily are all phenomenal players, and i'd love to consider myself amongst those people too (PARTICULARLY IN THIS GAME! NOTICE THAT I LOVE THEM ALL AND THINK THEY'RE ALL GREAT BUT IN THIS SPECIFIC GAME THAT'S MY VIEW ON STANDINGS). I don't want to be goated, which I potentially could be since i'm acting weird and dull this game, so maybe I could swap Kevin in the final seven and drop another big threat, like Ashvika or Owen. The people who I trust the most right now are Dana and Emily. I trust Owen to an extent, and I really like talking to him. Ashvika and Kevin and Ruthie are just meh, I don't trust them. Cameron is to a degree but he's sketchy. Will is just... ugh MSDGLKDSG I love him I think he's so funny but he probably hates me. Ali is trustworthy but I feel like that's relative amongst all. I really don't know who i'd like to sit against in the final three (or two but likely three). I've reached my goal of jury and 100 days so i'm content, but I want to win. I think my best chances would be against Ruthie and Kevin, but I don't know. Dana needs to go soon too. Like, maybe final 4-7 is when i'd love to see her leave because I bet everyone views me as her bitch and sure, I kind of am at the moment, but that's partially strategy. Everyone thinks i'm her +1 so to those that like her, i'm safe. They know they can use me. Then to others, i'm the weaker of the two and therefore they have no valid reason to target me unless they want to weaken her, in which case bye bye. This game is so complicated and votes are NEVER decided until last minute which is bothersome but kind of fun. I think I have a high chance of leaving at this upcoming tribal truly, or at least receiving votes, so i'm excited to see what's to come. Hopefully i'm still here but if now, it's been a great season and i'm glad I got the chance to return and hopefully make y'alls slightly proud wooh!

Okay lots to confess I wish I confessed earlier in the round so I wouldn't have so much to recount. So anyways, the Duncan vote happens, and it still makes me sad. I will never understand why he felt so betrayed by me and kinda continued to throw my name out there because I wanted to go far with him. Also I called with Emily after the vote and I already knew at this point she leaked me idol (which Emily *why*). I dont understand why everyone felt so betrayed by me, when I was trying to loop everyone in? It doesn't make any sense. Anyway, I called with her and we seem good again, and I do want to work with her moving forwards. ________________________________________________________________ I spoke with Ashvika and explained why I voted Duncan, and I think she is the person I wanna work with most now, like Id love to go far with her, because I am an Ashvika stan. Touchy Subjects was very interesting, Will guessed me for a lot of the negative game ones which suggests he doesn't have much faith in my game and I got who does everything think has an idol, blind to manipulation, who is gonna need to be apologised to, who is getting blindsided. Lots of very scary ones. So... I'm nervous. I'm also nervous becuase I called with Owen yesterday, and as normal, I said waaay too much to Owen, and while I wanna work with him going forwards, I also think he could easily say what I said to LWD and get me out. ALSO IN OTHER MC'FREAKIN NEWS: I HAVE ANOTHER IDOL. AND NOBODY IS EVER FINDING OUT. I am using the fact that everyone says I leak stuff (because I do) and "leaking" that shore 23 is empty, so that nobody thinks I have it. I wanna use the other idol soon, so nobody thinks I have one teehee

Okay the gag is Duncan and I apparently got found out or were suspected or something so congrats to them for sleuthing successfully but also according to Ali people thought Ashvika and I were close??? Which??? Isn't true??? I hardly even know her??? sjlks Anyways I love these Touchy Subjects answers they make me feel really good about myself. I basically threw the challenge because I didn't feel like I had a good chance of winning anyway, and I'm not really in the position to offend anyone lmao which is evident by the answers. Apparently people trust me the least even tho...I've told pretty much everyone who I'm voting for in the last round. On an exciting note people want to vote for me tonight! At this point just take me out of the game and catapult me into the sun. I'm ready for it. The one person I wanted out of this game won immunity so. I don't know what my plans are but accepting death seems like a good idea right now.

This jury is literally gonna be pissed at everyone so I need to start doing whatever I can to make them think we're close, that we're friends. I'll talk to Kevin about Netflix, I'll tell Ashvika she's a queen, I'll give Owen a backrub idgaf but I need to make sure Cameron looks worse than I do. None of them think Ali's done anything, and Dana...they think she's cracked too. The only person I'm okay with beating me is Dana and that's that.

Something good happening at tribal council? For once there's even a possibility. After chatting with Owen we're trying to start something. Him Ashvika and I all voted for Ruthie last round, so if we stick together that's 3, and we're hoping for at least 5. Our best bets are Emily and Ali. I have no idea if this has a shot of working tbh but I feel like tonight's all or nothing. Unfortunately we can't get Cameron. I tossed around Dana or Zach's names to Owen but like, whoever Ali and Emily (or whoever we can get) want to vote, we'll vote. I don't know how solid the majority alliance is, or who's in cahoots with who, so this is a very...fragile, could-break-at-any-moment plan. If there's any way of convincing these two, the Touchy Subjects answers show that they're not safe if they stick with that side. Time to actually talk to them though and see what's up tho ahhhh ________________________________________________________________ I told Ali Duncan said Dana said Cameron had an idol. Ali revealed that he voted for Duncan because he was telling people Ali told him about the idol. Ali then said to me "I knew he was covering for someone it must be Dana." The gag is I honestly don't know if it was actually Dana skdkdkf I remember her name in the conversation we had but like??? But if it convinces Ali then it works for now

Why did I put Owen to be blindsided by his alliancE? bc I’m his alliance And I’m gonna blindside him

So Owen voted for me not Emily hmmm Maybe he was the one that made the pretty glee voting thing What’s that paper called again? Omg yes parchment

I’m really scared for this tribal. Owen, Ali, and I have made an alliance and are talking about voting with Kevin and possibly Ashvika. I want to pull in Zach and maybe Dana, but the problem is,,,,, Owen and Ali and Kevin want to vote Dana. I want Dana to stay. I don’t know why. I think I’m just bein gay. I want Will out tbh. And I would’ve wanted Cameron if he wasn’t fucking immune but NO of course I have to be HORRIBLE at tie breakers!!! I’m really shocked by some of the things I got in touchy subjects like wtf man. You’ll enjoy voting me out? You wish you had gotten me out pre-merge? You have to apologize to me after this game? Interesting. This is one of those Touchy Subjects results that I realy wanna take notes about. Usually I don’t take them too seriously but I’m #offended. Ugh I really want to work with Zach but I’m scared of Dana and him being a duo sort of like how Lily and I were a duo I guess? Ugh. I don’t know how to like,,,,, get around that. There’s a lot to figure out about this vote. But I think we can get something going. All I know is that I’m not really feeling like voting for Kevin tonight. ;-) we’ll see what happens

I am LITERALLY a rat and I feel guilty but if this works out then it's fine. I'm fine. Everything will be fine. I need to keep people in this game around me and I'm gonna take heat for it and Cameron might idol me out but like....oh well. ________________________________________________________________ Basically the pieces came together, Emily Ali and I made a chat and we all like fkshd worked on getting Kevin and Ashvika on board. Emily thought she could play a vote negator to make it 5-4 but she cant use it yet SO instead I was like ok I'll try to get them to split the votes somehow and both Will and Dana suggested it anyways kfadsjh lmao so hopefully it's like..... 5-3-2 tonight. I wanted it to be Dana at first bc if it does somehow tie 5-5 I felt like Ruthie would flip and vote Dana but not Will, but maybe now Zach would flip and vote for Will idk probably not. Also I still love Will :'( this game will feel weird without him but he's a huge threat. So is Cameron and Dana tbh like everyone is lowkey trying to press their own agenda and I think they're getting weary of one another but....idk. I feel like I need to do this now bc it'll be me actually taking things into my own hands rather than Kevin leaving and me relying on dana or will wanting Cameron out whenever they decide. I wish Will didn't have to go and if this all blows up on me then fine but like...yeah. god. ppl are gonna be upset with me, wigs all around ! ________________________________________________________________ THE ANGEL ON MY SHOULDER IS CRYING BUT THE DEVIL ON MY SHOULDER IS LAUGHING im so ugly i cant wait for this to go wrong and then ppl laugh at me for being an idiot when they read my confessionals after ________________________________________________________________ Lowkey it seemed too easy to get will and dana to want to split the vote and now Ali has disappeared too? I feel like Ali spilled and now theyre all just gonna vote for me but if thats the case then oh well I was never gonna win without trying to get trust in people

STOP STRESSING ME THE FUCK OUT good bye dana barry .

Finally a vote where I know what’s happening and the people that control everything... don’t. I’m excited! My first blindside where I’m on the like... right end? Wow. I love taking matters into my own hands. Will made an Azores alliance and I feel HORRIBLE because I’m voting him out this round lmao. And Cameron made an alliance with Will and Cameron and I just GOD at his is going to be hard because I could be ruining some potential allies... but also... who cares? I’m making a move, y’all! If it doesn’t work out, then so be it. But I’m putting my trust into Owen, Ali, Ashvika, Kevin... people that I really didn’t expect to work with all together but I’m thankful nonetheless. I’m also thinking this group of five is good because Kevin, Ashvika, and Ali will be easier to beat in the end? I think? Idk. I’m trying to think ahead as much as I can, and weakening Cameron & Co. is the first step to that. I feel guilty but this is what I have to do to win. It’s All Stars, Emily! ALL STARS! GET UR HEAD IN THE GAME!

I made an alliance with Will and Emily. I want Will to think he's my #1. He's not. I told them we're winning. We're not. Well... they're not. me: this alliance is winning Me: knows that neither of these two can make it to the end

Kevin is voting me yikes.com. I'm getting idoled out yall and it has been fun. Ashvika and Kevin have idols and I get majority = HELP ME PLEASE AMERICA. I'm on call with ASHVIKA and she says THEY ARE VOTING OUT WILL. WHAT DO I DO PLEASE. AND APPARENTLY IF THEY DONT VOTE FOR WILL THEY ARE VOTING FOR ME. If this is all a scare tactic.... it sure is working!!!! More to come later I have 20 minutes to entirely flip this vote ladies. Mama IS staying tonight know that!

OKAY SO! I voted for Ashvika. Why? Well, two or three reasons. 1. I've voted in the majority. Every time. I can't do that. I will become a target and I want to look like I'm being bobo the fool. 2. If someone (Ashvika) plays an idol on Kevin, it burns her. Also, it protects us (Me, Ali, Dana, Will, but the latter 3 because I'm safe) in the event that someone does idol Kevin. Also, I'm so glad I won immunity. It's a bad time for me personally and this made everything easier. Thank you, survivor gods. Thank you.

kevin and ashvika couldnt keep their mouths shut and now I'm getting idoled out. it's been real xoxoxo

I'm literally about to go home, but at least if I do I was able to crack the code and see it coming first. Kinda like Margaery in GoT, she saw it coming but she was just a little too late to stop it. ________________________________________________________________ Well I mean like I called it so y'all aren't as slick as you thought, there just really wasn't anything I could do. I got outplayed by snakes who were willing to throw away the last ounces of respect I had for them, but like I would've done the same and just been more respectful about it. And if you think writing "I hope it's a tie" in your voting confessional absolves you of anything you gotta like...use your brain sorry, if you don't want someone to go home you don't vote for them - it's not that hard! But it's been a fun game and this isn't the last of me (sorry if you wanted it to be). Cast me in your games more often I'm fun!!! xoxo

Will becomes the 11th person voted out of Athena All Stars in a 5-3-2 vote, and the 3rd member of our jury. You can see Will’s preseason interview here.

#NotAllFunAndGames

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