#at least i know that i look pretty good today

[jockbroski34]

The Bro Cap

Biology was my favorite class this semester.  Not only did I find science to be interesting, but I also shared the class with one of the hottest guys in the school: Aaron Moore.  He was the star of the school’s baseball team as a pitcher and he was the talk of the school.  Girls were always swooning over him for how tall and handsome and athletic he was.  He was good at every sport; football, basketball, and so on, but in school, he played baseball.  He was a major source of envy for a lot of guys.  A lot of guys wished they could be him.  I, however, wanted to be with him.  Fortunately, I sit behind him in class, so I get the best view of him, despite being from behind.  At least it meant he wouldn’t see me watching him.

I often found myself getting distracted by him.  Even if I couldn’t see his face, I could see his broad shoulders, which were built like mountains, as well as his arms which were shaped like mounds of muscle.  His tall stature sometimes made it hard to look at the board, not that it was the main place my eyes were looking at in the first place.  His favorite baseball hat, adorned with our school team’s logo on it, was worn backwards like most of the jocks at the school.  He didn’t come off like the rest of them though.  His relaxed vibe made him easy to talk to and he could be quite funny compared to the rest of the meathead jocks.  He got along with everyone really well, making him very well-liked.  Although he was far from the smartest guy in the class, I could tell that he tried.  It was no wonder why he was so popular.

Today, I was daydreaming when I was disrupted by our teacher, Mr. Martin.  I felt him stare directly at me, almost as if he knew I wasn’t paying attention.  It was like he could read my every thought, and honestly, if that were true, that’d be extremely humiliating.  The last thing I needed was for my crush on Aaron to be exposed to the rest of the class.  Knowing how embarrassing he could be, I wouldn’t put it past him.  He asked me a question, and I thankfully already knew the answer, as I awakened from my daydream.

“Correct!  I wasn’t sure if you were paying attention or not,” he chuckled.  “You always look like you’re off in your own little world.  But you still manage to do well.  You gotta tell the rest of your class your secret.”  Looks like someone has caught on to my tendencies.  Mr. Martin was a middle-aged guy, probably in his 30s.  He looked good for his age, and was a pretty relaxed and carefree teacher.

The class went by as usual, and eventually we were dismissed.  All of the other students dispersed, but I needed to ask our professor a question about the homework.  He helped clarify things for me thankfully.  I was about to leave, but then he pointed out something on the ground.

“Hey Aiden, doesn’t Aaron sit in front of you?  That’s his hat, right?”  he asked.

“Yeah, I always see him wear it.”  It was unusual for him to have left it here by accident.

“Do you know if you can bring it to him today?  If not, I can keep it here until next class.”

“I’ll hold onto it until I see him next.  I have a feeling I’ll run into him later.”  I don’t know why I said that.  We don’t have any other classes together and we certainly aren’t close enough to be friends, even if I wished we were.  I’m also not on the baseball team.  Either way, my professor smiled for helping him out.

Regardless, I grabbed Aaron’s hat, but instead of chasing after him, I realized I really needed to go to the bathroom.  He was probably long gone anyways.  After I went, I noticed that I was still holding onto his hat.  I went to observe it and I noticed that it smelled a little like him, with a mix of sweat from wearing it all day and whatever shampoo he used.  I knew I shouldn’t, but I felt a sudden urge to put Aaron’s hat on.  Despite the fact that I would feel really embarrassed if someone saw me wearing it, I knew I would likely never get this opportunity again.  I was completely alone, so it’s not like there’s anything wrong with it.  It wasn’t just any hat, it was Aaron’s.  It’s not like he had lice or anything.  What’s the worst that could happen?

And so I put it on, wearing it backwards like he would.  Strangely, for a few seconds, I felt as though time had completely stopped.  The leaky sink faucet paused its rhythmic dripping.  The stomping of feet in the hallway deafened.  My watch skipped a tick.  But as time seemed to return to its natural course, I was able to see how I looked.  I had to admit, I looked really good in it.  I wouldn’t call myself an unattractive guy, but Aaron was way out of my league.  Despite that, a smirk appeared on my face.  A wave of confidence washed over me, almost like a little bit of Aaron had rubbed off on me.  Suddenly, I didn’t really feel like taking it off anymore.  I wasn’t too worried about what would happen if Aaron or one of his friends saw me wearing it.

After admiring myself in the mirror for a few minutes, I realized that I was late to my next class, algebra.  I had no idea I had spent so much time checking myself out.  I must’ve lost track of time.  As I walked to my seat, I felt like all eyes were on me for some reason.  I never used to make much of an impression on most people.  I was quiet and had only a couple friends.  Normally, I would’ve felt a little anxious with so many people staring at me, but I didn’t really give a shit now.

“Late as always, aren’t we Aiden?”  the teacher remarked.  Very funny.  I always showed up on time.  I sat down in my seat, but it didn’t feel right.  My body squeezed tight into the desk.  I felt like I was sitting in a chair meant for a middle schooler.  Weird.  Something weird is going on, but I can’t figure out what it is.

The class was just as weird because I felt like my classmates were a little more talkative.  I couldn’t focus during class due to being distracted by someone whispering.  I still felt a couple of their eyes on me.  I looked over and made brief eye contact with one of the girls on the far side of the room.  She immediately looked away and giggled towards one of her friends.  Her cheeks turned a deep crimson, the color of passion.  She was cute, but definitely out of my league.  I wasn’t straight either way, so I didn’t care if she was into me.

Normally, I was good at math, even if I didn’t like it, but I felt myself struggling to answer questions today.  Something must be wrong.  The room felt hotter than usual, and I felt myself sweat a little and my body started to ache.  I noticed that I smelled a little like Aaron’s cologne.  I’ve recognized his scent from sitting behind him, but for that smell to linger and for me to smell like him is really weird.

Class was dismissed, and this was usually when I went to lunch.  I received a text from one of my friends, Bryan, from half an hour earlier.

Bryan: Hey, me and the guys are getting food.  Wanna come with?

Normally, we always got lunch at the same time.  But for some reason, I didn’t really want to?  That’s weird for me.  I felt my fingers move on my own as they typed out a message.

Me: nah bro i dont feel like it mayb sum other time dude

I didn’t text like that normally.  Nor did I turn down my friends. Is it the…Before I could finish my thought, I was interrupted by the booming sound of two guys further down the hall, with one of them calling my name.  They were two jocks.  I recognized that they were both friends with Aaron because they hung out together a lot.  What did they want?  I didn’t really get along well with either of them or the rest of their kind.  Hopefully they didn’t think I was a pervert for wearing Aaron’s hat and beat me up.

“Sup bro, we were just about to get some food before hitting the gym.  Wanna come with?”  the other jock asked me.  Judging from his tone, he seemed surprisingly friendly with me.

Were they serious?  Did these jocks actually think I was one of them?  I would never get an opportunity to hang out with them again, so I agreed.  Part of me felt guilty for ditching my nerdy friends to hang out with the jocks, but I knew they were cool guys.  My perspective on these two big jocks changed as I walked with them.  For some reason, I felt a strong sense of camaraderie with them, almost like I’ve known them for a long time.  I’m not sure why I was so intimidated by them before.  They were really chill.

I saw another one of my friends as I walked with my new friends.  I waved to him, but he barely seemed to notice me.  Was he mad at me for skipping lunch with them or did he seriously not recognize me since I was hanging out with the jocks?  It almost felt like he didn’t know me at all.

I pulled out my phone to see what was up with him, until I realized that Bryan had finally responded to me.

Bryan: My bad.  Thought you were someone else.  He must’ve given me the wrong number.

Was this some kind of prank?  He obviously knew my number.  Of course he knows who I am.  Whatever, I don’t care what a nerd like him thinks.  I put my phone away and resumed chatting with my jock friends.  You know, my real friends.  I noticed as I walked with them that they didn’t look as big and menacing as they seemed.  Either that or maybe I hit my growth spurt recently.

We went and got food, with the jocks making sure I got enough protein.  I swear I almost never eat this much.  The jocks must eat a lot to stay in shape, I thought to myself.  But did they seriously want me to go to the gym with them?  I had class soon.  But these guys were cool and I didn’t want to disappoint my bros.  I figured I could miss a day and go lift with them.  As long as it doesn’t turn into a habit.

I realized as we stepped into the gym that I had never worked out before nor had I stepped into an actual gym.  I was worried about coming across as weak and humiliating myself in front of them. I changed into some clothes that I'm not really sure when I bought, a tank top and gym shorts.  To my surprise, I simply followed the motions of my bros and I was able to work out with them just fine.  I noticed that I was able to keep up with their workouts, and I surprised myself with how much I could lift.  It shouldn’t have been possible to lift as much as they did but maybe they were just going easy on me because they knew I was a beginner.  By the time we finished, I was just in time for my last class.  But just before I parted ways with my new friends, one of them said something that caught me off guard.

“Later, Moore.”

Must’ve been a slip of the tongue.  There was no way in hell they mistook me for Aaron.  At least it gave me a mental reminder to give Aaron his hat back next time I see him.  Although…his hat is so nice that I’m a little tempted to keep it for myself.  He could always just get another one, right?  I just don’t want him to see me wearing it though, so I’ll only do it when he’s not around.

In class, everyone was still staring at me as if I went to school in my underwear.  Maybe there was something weird about me, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.  I did smell a little bit since I came from my workout, but I don’t think it was that.  I shrugged it off.  They can stare all they want for all I care.  I felt incredibly sore after my workout, and my arms looked unnaturally swollen.  If I had to be honest, I almost felt as big as the two jocks I worked out with.  But in such a short amount of time?  With no prior lifting experience?  That was impossible.

I found myself completely zoned out and indifferent to class today.  All I wanted to do was leave and uh…What was it that I had going on later?  I pondered that thought throughout the entire class period.  Eventually, we were dismissed and I was free to leave.  I was walking towards the dorms until I ran into, guess who?  Aaron Moore.

“Hey bro, you still coming to practice?”  he asked.

“Practice?”

“Yeah, baseball practice, you big dummy!  You know, you’re always so forgetful, dude.  Good thing I always was the smarter one, bro.”

“Yeah, you’re right, bro.  My bad.”  I’m not sure which statement I was agreeing with.  But as I looked at him, I realized something.  He was wearing his hat!  But then how was I wearing his hat if he was wearing it?  “I thought you lost your hat.  How are you wearing it?”

“I was wearing my hat all day, dude.  One day you decided to copy me and wear your hat to school like I do.  But honestly, I think you rock it better than I do, so keep it up.  You’ll impress the ladies.”  But I was gay.  And I’ve only had this hat for a day.  If it wasn’t his, then how was it actually mine?  I was overwhelmed and full of questions after everything that had happened today, from my growth spurt, to me hanging out with the jocks, to my old friends barely knowing who I am, but I didn’t seem to have the brain power at the moment to seek the answers to them.

As we walked, I kept chatting with Aaron as if it was natural, as if we always knew each other.  Something felt off, but I couldn’t figure it out.  Was it because we were going to practice?  I’ve never played baseball in my life.  Nah, that can’t be right.  I feel like I’ve swung a bat before…  We went into the locker room to change.  I looked in the mirror and paused for a second.

My reflection wasn’t there.  Someone else’s was.  Someone much stronger and much taller than me.  That wasn’t me.  It was Aaron Moore.

No, except it wasn’t an exact match.  There was enough different about the guy in front of me to know that it wasn’t Aaron.  This figure was a little stronger than him, and still stood probably a little over 6 feet tall.  I walked closer.  “Aaron” walked closer.  I moved my hand to feel my face.  So did “Aaron”.  A dull, confused look appeared on his face.  Had I really become him?  But Aaron was over on the other end of the room changing.  Then who am I?  Was I like this since I put the hat on earlier?  I reached into my wallet and pulled out my ID.

Aiden Moore...That’s not my last name.  That’s…Aaron’s?  Normally I wouldn’t have minded taking his last name, but we definitely WEREN’T married.  As far as I knew, Aaron was as straight as an arrow.

Date of Birth: 08/17/2003…If I recall, that’s Aaron’s birthday.  I knew my birthday, and it was in January.  Don’t tell me…Are we…?

I compared the face in the ID to the one in the mirror.  It wasn’t an illusion, and it wasn’t a dream.  It was like I was his twin!  Aaron was an only child though and I only had sisters.  At this point, I was so confused and overwhelmed.  Panic was the only emotion I could feel as I felt like I was going through an identity crisis.  I realized that this all started when I wore his hat.  I reached to grab it off of my head…until I felt a hand touch my shoulder.  My bro…I mean Aaron.

“Admiring yourself in the mirror, bro?  Yeah, you’re a pretty handsome dude just like me.  I think it runs in the blood, you know.  You like that, right?”  He placed his other hand on my head, pushing the hat tighter on my head.  I nodded.  I proceeded to flex, as I became self-absorbed with my own reflection.  I always thought rather highly of myself, especially about my body.  At this point, I couldn’t comprehend the paradox of me somehow being his own non-existent twin brother.

“You know, not every guy is lucky enough to have a cool brother like I do, let alone a twin.  The two of us can play ball together, work out together, and even get all the chicks we want together.  This is all you ever wanted, right?”  He wasn’t necessarily wrong, but I wanted to be “with” Aaron, not be him.  Whoever granted me this wish got it all wrong.  But as I listened to him, I started to realize that maybe it wasn’t my wish to begin with.

“Yeah bro.  This shit’s the life, dude.”  I noticed Aaron’s face light up as I said that.  The way I talked sounded like it came out of the mouth of some dudebro.  I noticed his irresistible smirk that was always on his face when he was in a good mood.  As I kept admiring myself in the mirror, I felt my mind slow…down...like it was on autopilot…

“That’s right…Just let it happen…  I know it’s been a while, so it’s okay if you don’t remember, but you know that one trophy we won a couple years back?  During senior year?”

“Fuck yeah, bro.  I remember.”  But I’ve never played baseball before…But…I have right?  I know I have.

“You know you were the reason we won, right?  One lucky hit in the bottom of the ninth, and you practically won us the game.  I’ve never been more proud of you bro.”  Aaron patted me on the back.  I remembered that game fondly, even though I should have no recollection of it.  That year, our baseball team was the best in the state.  And I…led our team to a championship?  As much as I tried to deny it in my head, the memories felt real.  But why was he reminding me of this now?

“You didn’t do half bad yourself, bro.”

As Aaron and I kept chatting, the memories of being his twin brother kept flowing into my brain, as memories of my former life faded away.  Turns out that I was the brother he never had.  We were a pair.  We complemented each other perfectly.  I was actually the twin brother of the most popular guy in the school.  I remember I thought he was hot…wait, what the fuck, bro?  That’s gay as shit.  And weird.  This was my own twin we were talking about.  Although I guess if I was a handsome stud, then he’d have to be too.  After all, no girl can resist either one of us.

“So the hat is working…”  Aaron whispered under his breath.

“What hat?”

“Nothing, bro!  I was just saying how good your hat looks on you.  Come on, let’s go.”  I followed him, as my transformation was now complete.

From this day on, I was Aiden Moore, Aaron Moore’s twin brother.  Except that’s who I was technically born as and that's who everyone already knew me as.  Although we had a lot in common, I definitely felt more like a stereotypical jock.  I was loud, cocky, and masculine, almost to the point of brutishness, compared to my brother who was a lot more laid-back and charismatic.  Not that it was a bad thing, although most nerds and weaker men would disagree.  But what me and Aaron did have in common was playing sports, working out, fucking chicks, and being the most popular guys in the school.  I know I wanted to be closer to Aaron, but I never expected this.  But at the same time, it felt good, almost pleasurable at times.  I realized that in my new state, I could hardly last a day without an orgasm, whether it was in my grip or in some bitch’s pussy.

Two days later, I had biology again.  I remembered I kinda struggled with this class.  I sat behind my bro as usual.  I was grateful for him since he always helped me with the homework.  I noticed him talking to the professor in private when we got to class.  When I asked him, he wouldn’t say.  It wasn’t like him to keep secrets from me.  We practically knew everything about each other after all.  After class, I was called to stay after by Mr. Martin.

“Aiden Moore…Your brother told me to check up on you.  Is everything alright?  Did you need any guidance on the homework, too?”

“Never felt better, bro.  I think I was just up too late partying the other day.  And nah, I eventually figured it out, dude.”  I conveniently hid the fact that I copied the answers off of some nerd.

“Good, good.”  Mr. Martin smiled.  “I won’t leave you too long.  I know you two have your hands full with practice today.  Hmmm…Still wearing that hat, I see.  It suits you well, Aiden.”  I saw him write something down in a notebook as I left.  Mr. Martin was always cool.  I felt like he understood me and my brother better than most teachers here.  I couldn’t help but feel grateful for him, but for what?  I quickly discarded that thought because it wasn’t important to me.

What was important to me was hitting the gym with my bros.  I ditched class again, I don’t even remember what the class was anyways.  Probably nothing important.  As long as I pass and get to stay on the team, I couldn’t care less about how badly I do in school.  I’m basically only here because I got some fancy scholarship.

At the gym, I always pushed myself to lift the heaviest weights.  All of my bros were impressed with how much I could lift.  Must run in the blood.  After school, I went to practice with Aaron.  We shared a room at the dorms, and on the weekends, we always went to the biggest parties our school had to offer.  We always bragged to each other about what girls we slept with that night, almost like it was a competition.  Man, this was the life.  I never felt like I understood Aaron on a personal level until recently, but man, we were the luckiest pair of brothers in the school.

#jock #jock bro #jock tf #jock transformation #jockification #male hypnosis #male tf #male transformation #mental change #muscle tf #dumbing down #dumb jock #dumber #reality change #reality shifting #alternate reality #nerd to jock #muscle transformation #muscle #reprogramming #himbo tf #himbo #himbofication #frat bro #frat boy #backwards cap #fuckboi #fuck boy #gay to straight #college jock

[msgexymunson]

The Ink Shop Part 2

Description: After your encounter with Eddie, things are beginning to get a bit more complicated; especially when you ask him for another little favour. But, will Eddie go for it? 

Warnings: NSFW, minors DNI this ain't for you, angst, tiny bit of fluff, smut, fem oral receiving, male masturbation.

A/N: OK when I said this will be in 3 parts I lied, it's totally going to be at least 4, maybe 5! Thank you for the love you've shown the first part, it's incredible! You're superstars. 

❤️ If you like it please comment and reblog, it really makes my day!❤️

7k words 

Masterlist Part 1

For some reason, the shop seems more welcoming today than ever. It might be the fact that the sun is shining, it might be the radio seemingly playing all your favourite songs, or it might be last night. Either way, you feel loose and free, laughing at jokes, smiling at everyone, and genuinely just happier. 

Eddie saunters in thirty minutes late and you barely notice, apart from flashing him a bashful smile. 

“Well hello there sweetheart, you seem chipper today.”

You roll your eyes at the obvious insinuation, but your smile is warm. “I had a good night's sleep, that's all.” 

“Bet you did,” he grins, “you look real pretty.” 

Looking down, you consider your outfit; you'd decided enough of the corporate clothes, this is a tattoo shop after all. So, you'd paired a roll neck sweater with a short jean skirt and sneakers. A more relaxed outfit to go with a more relaxed attitude. Before you can say anything in reply he strolls over to his station. 

Right, so a few jabs, but he's being nonchalant. So put it out of your mind.

The morning moves quickly, a messy blur of clients and phone calls. After a fast lunch, the shop finally calms down a little. When you're focusing on sorting the mess of the heavy bookings tome in front of you, Eddie approaches, mischief glinting in his eyes. 

“I see London, I see France…” 

You follow his bowed head and cross your legs in sheer embarrassment, realising a sliver of your panties must be on display. 

“Eddie!” 

He simply laughs, throwing his head back far enough that your gaze drifts to his Adam's apple. 

“Sorry, I couldn't resist, I'm a big fan of this skirt,” he says, drinking you in with his eyes, “anyway I wanted to ask-” 

His sentence is stopped however by the loud ringing of the old corded phone. You and Eddie share a look, yours begging and his smug. Before you can grab it, he picks up the phone, putting on a ridiculous British accent. 

“Good Afternoon, London Underground Airways, this is your captain speaking- Oh shit Mac- Yeah she's- I know I'm not supposed to answer- Sorry I- Fine, here.” He brandishes the phone at you. 

“Hello? Oh, of course I'll let them know- I understand- It'd be my pleasure- see you soon.” replacing the receiver, you make a note on the pad at your side. 

“What'd he say?” Eddie asks, hovering over you. 

Not giving him the satisfaction of a look, you continue to make your note, however perfunctory it may be. “Mac's going to be a little late, he told me to tell his next client.” 

“He said my name, I heard it. What'd he say?” 

Placing your pen down with a loud click, you turn to him. 

You tell him as you smile smugly. “He told me to hit you for answering the phone.”

If anything, his grin grows broader. “Oh? Go on then princess, I'd hate for you to break the rules.” He turns his face, no doubt expecting a cuff to the back of the head.

Spinning on your stool, you slap him right across the cheek; not with all your strength, but certainly hard enough to remember. Eddie's face is a picture of shock, pink handprint already flushing his cheek. 

But that just makes his smile wider. 

“Harder.” He asks, eyes flashing arousal at you. 

“Eddie!” you shout, pushing him away, but his laugh echoes through the shop. Before he has a chance to continue, a burly biker type walks right in the door. 

“Good afternoon, can I help you?” 

“Yeah, It's Jimmy, I'm here for Mac?” 

“He's running a little late, but he'll be with you as soon as possible. Can I get you a coffee or something while you wait?” 

You can't help but hear a huff from Eddie, but before you can question it he's drawing in his book, entirely oblivious to the outside world. 

At the end of the day, you're tired, but still in fairly high spirits. It's the first time you've seen everyone in the shop at once. There's an edge to the air though, as if an expectation hangs over everyone. 

So… bar?” Mac asks in a defeated tone, although he's smiling. Everyone reacts; Eddie woops, pumping his fist, even the usually reserved Miranda is clapping quietly. You smile and nod, finally understanding what the atmosphere was about. 

As you all enter the dimly lit bar, chatting and laughing, you hear a low huff. 

“What did I do to deserve this?” John is standing behind the bar. An imposing figure, his arms crossed and face surly, but there's a kindness in his eyes. Mac leans straight over and hands him a card.  

“Easy John, I got this,” he chuckles. The card is accepted gratefully, the gruff demeanour lessening with the promise of payment. 

You accept a bottle of beer and slide into a nearby booth, the rest of the group filtering in. Mac walks over, eyes the space next to you, then grabs a stool to sit at the head of the table. It throws you for a minute; surely he knows he can sit there? Before you can tell him so, Eddie waltzes across the room with a tray of tequila shots and all the fixings with a cheeky look in his eyes. He slides right in next to you, tray and all, and places it on the table with exaggerated care. 

“Ladies, gentlemen.” He says, gesturing to the tiny glasses like an old timey butler. There's a succession of groans from the party, but despite this they all grab a shot. All except you. 

“I don't think I-” you begin, but he's waving a hand in the air. 

“Come on, you drink. It's a shot. Never had tequila before?” 

Fixing him with a sharp look, your cheeks begin to redden of their own accord. Eddie smirks and tosses his head back, hiding his eyes with one hand. 

“Shit princess, what did you do at college?” 

“Study.” You say primly, but take a glass tentatively and place it in front of you. 

“Right, so for the new guys…“ Eddie smiles right at you and licks his hand between his thumb and pointer finger. That hint of silver mesmerises you, the ball of his tongue piercing catching the light. It's almost sensual the way he does it, your eyes automatically following the movement of his tongue. “salt right here…” he sprinkles some on the spot he moistened, “then, lick, shoot, suck.” 

In a few fluid movements he licks the salt from his hand, downs the shot, and sticks a wedge of lime in his mouth. As your brain finally engages after that display, the little show that shouldn't have heated your insides up, you follow along, and take your shot with everyone else. It's easier than you would have thought, the lime easing the burn somewhat. 

Eddie squeezes your thigh under the table and whispers low enough for you to hear. 

“Good girl.” 

Shooting daggers with a simple look, he just smirks, leaving his hand on your bare leg as if challenging you. Dimly, you hear the echoes of a conversation in front of you; it's Julio, arguing about good tequila not needing salt and lime, but you're lost in the deep pools of Eddie's chocolate eyes.

For a moment, your body flashes red hot and you regret your choice of the high necked sweater. Tearing your eyes away you look at something, anything, but Eddie. 

The conversation drifts between all manner of subjects and you start to relax, the beer and tequila swimming in your belly loosening your tongue. It's nice, having a chance to chat and giggle with your coworkers in a setting not interrupted by the constant buzzing of tattoo machines. 

Julio and Chloe end up in a full scale argument about the karaoke machine in the corner. Before you're subjected to the horror of having to sing in public, you get up to grab another beer. Perching on a stool by the bar with your purse in hand, you're waiting patiently to be served. 

Eddie strolls over. You see him in your periphery; that confident walk as if he owns the very ground he walks on. Casually he hops up on the stool next to you, making no effort to hide the way he undresses you with his eyes. 

“Quit staring Eddie,” you say testily as you knock the bar with your bank card. 

“Now I can't look at you?” He asks with an amused grin. 

“I said quit staring, not quit looking,” you huff out. 

“What's the difference?” He asks, shrugging his shoulders and scrunching his nose at you.

You groan, turning on your stool to face him. “You are impossible,” 

He sticks his long tongue out childishly, flashing his piercing at you. 

Thankfully, John's voice cuts through the squabble. “What can I get you?”

“May I have a beer, please?” 

“You certainly may.” John cocks his thumb in your direction, addressing Eddie, “I like this one, she's polite. Don't scare her off.” 

Eddie dramatically holds his chest. “You wound me, sir!” 

Two beers are placed on the bar and John waves your card away. “Don't worry about it, Mac's treating you guys tonight.” 

As you swig your beer, you contemplate for a moment, trying to work out something.

“You're staring, sweetheart.” Eddie grins, as he gulps his drink. 

“I wasn't staring, I was thinking! I know that's a foreign concept to you.” It's catty, you know that, but he just seems to bring it out in you. No one else has annoyed you so much in your life just by… being. 

“That was rude. I thought we were playing nice?” he pouts playfully. 

“Sorry. I- Can I ask you something?” 

“Sure, shoot.” 

Turning to him, you speak what's on your mind. “Why do people get their tongues pierced? No one really sees it. I get like, nose and eyebrow piercings and stuff, but the tongue one I don't understand.” 

Eddie's grin is wide as he bites his bottom lip and stares at you. Well, you couldn't call it a grin. It's a flash of teeth, almost wolfish in its delivery. 

“Oh princess, you are too cute.” 

Staring at him with your brow furrowed, you try to work out what he means, but the longer you take, the more amused he looks. 

“What? What is it?” 

Sighing, he leans closer, the scent of aftershave, cigarettes and man clouding around you. “It's got a purpose, sweetheart.” 

“What, like, kissing?” 

Shaking his head, he looks you up and down. “Kinda. Kissing somewhere… specific.” 

Realisation breaks across your face, followed by a fierce blush that you can feel to the roots of your hair. Laughing, Eddie pulls away a little and takes a mouthful of beer. 

Voice an airy whisper, you lean over to him as you speak. “And girls like that?” 

His laugh is so loud it reverberates around the bar. 

“Yeah, a lot, in my experience.” 

“Oh.”

Well, the thought is there now, and you're pretty sure it won't ever go away, not without some sort of mind bleach. Eddie's head between your legs, his long tongue exploring your sex. The image is burned into the back of your brain, playing on a loop.

“You're looking a little hot there,” he says, as if he can read your thoughts. It's fair to say it wouldn't take a psychic to know what's rattling around your head right now. 

“I'm fine, this sweater is too warm,” you shake out, pressing your thighs together. 

“Liar.” 

Mouth opening and closing like a fish, you finally snap it shut with a crunch. Curiosity is eating away at you, and it's too easy to say what's on your mind after a couple of drinks. 

“Eddie, could you… tell me, what- what it's like?” 

He chuckles lightly and scoots closer to you. “you know I can't, I've not exactly had the pleasure.” 

“I know that, I mean…” 

For a second he just gapes at you. 

“Wait, princess, are you asking me to tell you or… show you?” 

Flustered, you turn away a little. “Sorry that's- that's too much isn't it. It's just you… did such a good job with the, you know, the other thing, I was just curious.” 

Eddie bites his lip, puffing out a little breath. “You know, flattery works with me. I did a good job, huh?” 

“Well, yeah. I can imagine you'd be really good at… that too. I could, owe you a favour?” It's bold, especially from you, but the way he's looking at you, the slight flush to his cheeks, you'd put money on him agreeing. 

Eddie stares at you incredulously. “Wait, you're saying you want me to stick my tongue in the holiest of holes and then you owe me a favour?” 

“Yeah? Like a little… arrangement.” 

He rubs his face with his hand, his voice muffled as he speaks. “I'd feel like I was taking advantage of you.” 

That confuses you for a moment. Surely you were the one who asked him? Hesitantly you reach out and touch soft fingertips to the back of his hand. 

“Please?” 

“Fuck.” He looks around, and turns to you, gazing into your eyes for a moment. 

“Fine. Right now.” 

“Oh I didn't-” 

“Listen, before I change my mind. Meet me out back. I'll tell the guys you're not feeling well and I'm taking you home.” 

Wordlessly, you grab your purse and head to the back door, heart hammering in your ears. It's a little dank out here, with the sound of a dripping pipe and moss covering the cement. Eddie comes out a moment later looking more serious than you've ever seen him. 

“You sure about this?” He asks, searching your eyes. 

‘Yeah, but…” you look around the small yard, gesturing vaguely. 

“Oh. Oh! You thought- oh Christ no, not here. I'm not a complete asshole. Come with me.”

Letting out a relieved breath, you follow him. He walks over to a gate in the fence and opens it, which leads down a narrow alleyway, a little shortcut between yards. That eventually opens up to another road with a couple of apartment blocks. The one he moves towards looks mostly clean, if a bit lifeless, with a creepy looking van parked out the front.

“This way sweetheart,” he says, leading you through the courtyard and to the stairs. 

For a second you stop in sheer surprise. 

“Wait, you live this close and you still manage to be late for work?” 

He chuckles, looking at you over his shoulder. “I have a condition, you know. Chronic tardiness; I'm afraid there's no cure.” 

You bat him on the arm playfully and he grasps your wrist, stopping on the stairs briefly, giving you a look that is wickedness personified. 

“If you're gonna hit me, do it properly.” 

“Eddie!” 

He laughs loud and grabs your hand, holding it in his until he reaches his door. That alone is enough to shut you up. It's warm and rough, and the feeling of his skin on yours, no matter how tiny, sends bolts of sensation through you. 

“Right, here is my castle,” he says as he opens the door and lets you inside. 

Chaos. That's the first word that crosses your mind. It doesn't look dirty, there's just things everywhere. A bookshelf stuffed with books and weird little trinkets placed any which way dominates one wall, and another on the other side with a huge music collection. There's a poky little kitchen with a couple of pots still in the sink, and a big couch with mismatched cushions takes up the remaining space. A tower of board games is precariously leaning next to it, and on the wall over the TV is an honest to goodness sword.

“It's nice,” you say as you walk in, as if you're not mentally organising it in your head. 

“You hate it.” He scoffs, pulling his boots off and dumping them by the door. 

“No, no, it's very… you.” 

“I stand by my previous statement.” He grins at you, clearly indicating he wasn't being entirely serious. 

“This is the bedroom.” He walks over and nudges the door open with his foot. Surprisingly, apart from an open clothes rail, an overflowing laundry hamper, and an enormous bed, there's not much in it. The wallpaper is a pretty purple colour, and looks oddly familiar. 

“Eddie isn't that the same wallpaper-” 

“-As the shop? Yeah. Mac let me have the leftovers. I was broke and this room was fucking pink.” 

You snort out a laugh; the thought of Eddie with a pretty pink bedroom was rather unbelievable.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. I can live with purple.” He roots around and grabs a pair of sweats. “Make yourself comfortable, I'm gonna change real quick.” 

Then he walks out into another doorway, you assume the bathroom. The urge to snoop is real, but you resist. It looks like he spends less time here anyway. 

The question is, how comfortable are you supposed to make yourself? Nerves start settling in, the thought of what you've asked him to do is finally sinking its way into your mind and down your jangling spine. What if he doesn't like the underwear you're wearing? God, you've been at work all day, what if you smell bad? Or taste bad? What if- 

“You can sit down, princess.” 

Eddie saunters back in, shirtless, a pair of grey sweatpants hanging so low on his hips you see his cut groin. A little squeak hiccups out of your throat at the sight. You stay standing, ready to make your excuses and leave, but the signal hasn't reached your legs just yet. 

“What's wrong?” his eyes are brimming with concern as he steps toward you. 

“No I- I was- maybe this-” 

“Hey, look at me,” he says, grabbing both of your hands. You stare up at him, his face gentle. 

“Whatever you're worried about, I'm sure it's nothing.” 

“But i haven't showered-” 

“When did you last?” 

“Well… this morning.” 

“You're fine. Trust me.” 

He backs you up onto the bed, your knees folding as you flop down. The air around you feels full, humid with anticipation. He's so close, your bodies almost pressed together. 

“I wanna kiss you.” He says softly, stroking a lock of your hair out of your face. Heart leaping into your throat, you try to suppress the urge to lean forward. The last thing you need is to fall for this man. Chloe's words echo in your head; he's not boyfriend material.

He'll break your heart. 

“That's not part of our deal, Eddie.” 

A frown flickers across his face. It's just for a second, a flash of vulnerability, before his usual cocky smile returns. 

“That's not where I wanna kiss you.” He winks and tugs at your top, “can I take this off?” 

Nodding wordlessly, you help him and wriggle it up and over your head. 

“God damn.” Eddie props up on an elbow, running a finger between your breasts, before following the edge of your black cotton bra. 

He looks up at your face, grinning wide, and points at your neck; little purple marks adorn it. “That why you wore that sweater today?” 

Flushing crimson, you run fingers across your neck. 

“Yeah, you marked me Eddie. Not exactly discreet.” 

He chuckles, stroking the side of your neck. “Sorry sweetheart, I won't do it again. Well, not anywhere that anyone can see.” 

Heat floods your stomach, the stark realisation that you want him to mark you clings to your insides. If he notices your reaction he doesn't say, instead he leans toward you pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek. 

“You're really pretty. I don't know if I said that before.” 

Awash with a new heat in your cheeks, you smile bashfully. “Thanks, I don't get told that very much.” 

Staring at you, he shakes his head.

“You should. You should be told every fucking day.” 

You open your mouth, but before you can reply he kisses your jaw, running his tongue down your neck, before he presses his mouth to the top of your breast, sucking roughly. A gasp flies out, and your hand makes a decision entirely on its own to grab his hair. 

It seems it was the right thing to do, judging by the deep groan that comes from him. It seems to spur him on, and he yanks the cup of your bra down, taking your nipple into his mouth. His tongue teases it, rubbing his piercing over the pebbled nub.

“Oh Holy fuck!” Back arching with the foreign sensation, you revel in it, wriggling underneath him. He smirks against your skin, and takes your nipple between his teeth. Moaning loudly, you pull his hair. 

“Fuck, sweetheart,” He looks up at you, pupils blown to black, “can’t hold back if you do that.” 

It's not a dare, but it tastes like one, and before you can think you're tugging at it again. Eddie's eyes roll back, and a hard look crosses underneath his eyes. 

His actions turn a little feral, pulling you up so he can unhook your bra, practically ripping it off you before his mouth is all over your chest, firm fingers digging into the flesh of your hip. 

“Fuck, Eddie” you stutter it out, voice laced with need. 

“Yeah?” He whispers out breathlessly between urgent kisses, making his way down your stomach. Suddenly he takes the flesh of your hip in his mouth and bites down little before sucking a bruise as you writhe under him. 

He reaches your skirt, hooking fingers into the waistband as he looks up at you, his tone urgent. “Can I?” 

As you nod frantically, he reacts immediately, yanking it down along with your underwear. 

“Fuck, look at you.” 

The urge to close your legs is real, embarrassed at the way he's ogling you right between your thighs. They quiver with tension, but Eddie forces them open with his large palms. 

“Don't hide from me. You still want this?” 

You nod, and his head snaps up to look at you. His voice is hard, swirling around your insides with an intensity you're not used to from him. 

“Say it. You need to say it.” 

‘Yes, please Eddie.” 

That satisfies him. He leans forward, breath ghosting over your clit. You're waiting for his mouth, his tongue, but that's not what happens. He inhales you, nose so close it's almost touching your sex. 

“Jesus Christ, you smell so fucking good.” 

“Eddie!” you cry it out, cringing at his words as you bury your face in your hands. 

“Relax princess, it's a compliment.” 

Before you can retort that it's not a compliment, it's weird, and he's a freak for saying it, it no longer matters. He's licking a fat stripe up the length of your pussy, long tongue pushing against you hard in an animal-like gesture. 

The noise that expels from your chest is inhuman, a choked, guttural breath that belongs in a cave somewhere, not a bedroom. 

He doesn't relent, his mouth exploring every inch of you with a ferality that has you tingling all the way to your toes. His fierce movements, accentuated by the bump of his piercing, have you nearly leaving the mattress. You're not sure if you're trying to get more, or move away. Not that it matters. His hands are holding you so firmly that all you can do is wriggle helplessly like a fish on a line. 

Fingers trace the outside of your entrance before they slide in, beckoning your release. Whimpering, you grasp the bedsheets in a need to keep contact with something real. 

“Talk to me,” he says between mind numbing messy kisses to your clit, “good, yeah?” 

“Eddie, f-fuck, its incredible, please, oh God, k-keep going!” 

You can practically feel the smirk on his face as he dives back in, suckling at your clit with an unmatched fervour, his tongue piercing flicking expertly as he does so. Suddenly, you're not creeping toward your release, you're being hurtled toward it, thrown into the depths of absolute pleasure. 

Hands finding their way into Eddie's hair again, you hold on tight, buckling up for the ride. It's almost violent the way he pulls your climax from you, and you scream loudly, almost folding in half before you fall back onto the bed. 

Eddie sits up, hands placed on your thighs, as he grins proudly, face shining with your slick. 

“You OK princess?” 

OK doesn't seem to cover it. You're panting wildly, each breath shallow and ragged, brain melted into soup. 

“Think you can go again?” 

That gets your attention. You sit up, gaping at him. “Again?” 

Chuckling, he runs a finger up your slit and circles your clit in a teasing manner. The slight touch has your thighs trembling. 

“I think you've got at least one more in you.” 

Without a further word he presses his tongue against you. On instinct you grip his hair once more, bucking your hips up. 

“Fuck, that's it sweetheart, ride my face.” 

This time he slips his tongue inside as his nose nudges at your clit, the thick muscle curling and writhing. Holding on tight, your hips know what to do, your body reacting and rolling to meet him. 

You're yanking his hair hard as you grind against his face, pulling deep grunts and moans from him which vibrate inside of you. It feels primal, sheer need clouding your mind, a fog that rolls into every limb and leaves no part untouched. 

“Eddie, fuck!” You moan loudly as your walls clench around his tongue, another climax bubbling its way to the surface. He doubles down with his efforts almost as if he needs this as much as you do. 

With one final thrust of his tongue you whine out your orgasm, back finally touching the bed once more. There are no thoughts, only your heavy breath and beating heart keeping you in the moment. 

After a few seconds that seem to stretch on for a year, he hovers over your face. He's wiped off your release, but nothing could wipe that smug grin. 

“So? Good?” 

It's not like he doesn't know. You pat blindly at his arm, words stuck in a puddle on your tongue. In an unexpected tender gesture, he swipes his thumb over your chin, his gaze pensive. You stare back, fingers reaching out to gently touch his cheek. 

“Are you going to kiss me?” You whisper, the words pooling from you unbidden. 

For a split second you think he's going to lean in and close the gap, but he flashes his teeth at you and flicks the tip of your nose. 

“That's not part of the deal.” 

Disappointment leaks into your stomach. Which is entirely unfair. He's using your words after all. Fighting the feeling, you force a smile. 

“I think I'll need a wheelchair to get home.” You chuckle, indicating to your still twitching legs. 

“Stay here. I'll take the couch.” 

“Oh, no, Eddie, I couldn't kick you out of your own bed thats-” 

“Hey, it's fine, honestly. I wouldn't offer if I didn't mean it.” He shrugs and rolls off the bed and onto his feet in one quick movement like a cat. “Here. If you want something to sleep in.” He hands you a faded t-shirt. Hesitating for a moment, your hand hovers over it, but he stuffs it into your grip. 

“Honestly, it's fine. I can drop you home before work so you can get changed and stuff. No big deal.” 

“What about your chronic tardiness?” You joke, smiling softly at him. 

“You're here, I'm sure you'll whip me into shape.” 

“You'd probably like that,” you tease. 

“More than you know.” He winks again, and walks to the doorway. “Night, princess.” 

“Night Eddie.” 

When he's gone you shrug the shirt on. It's clean, but there's an undercurrent of pure Eddie still there that's more comforting than you'll care to admit. Then, you lay there, staring at the ceiling. 

Well. You certainly weren't expecting to end up in Eddie's room, in his bed, but here you are. You're not sure what this all means just yet and processing it is just hurting your brain. A part of you is saying that you should get out now whilst you can. Another, louder part is telling you this is where you should be. The only problem: is this message coming from your heart, or much lower down? 

Chloe drifts into your mind whilst you lay there. Did they hook up in this bed? Are you in the same place she was? And how did that end? Clearly it was on good terms, considering how friendly they are, but how many girls have been where you are right now? A few? A dozen? A hundred?

After a while your thoughts just start to ache, leaving a migraine behind your eyes. Shifting on the bed, you try to get comfortable, but it's no use. You wonder if Eddie is still awake. After all, he's the only one that can answer your questions. 

Sitting up a little, you listen intently for any signs of life from the next room, but no matter how hard you strain your ears, you can't hear anything. 

As you quietly get up and creep to the door, you press your ear to it. Maybe that was a word you heard, a loud breath, or the signs of an overactive imagination. Turning the doorknob like a safecracker, you inch the door open ever so slightly to peek beyond. 

There he is, laying on the couch, eyes tight shut and face contorted in concentration. Odd. You slowly guide the door open a little more and your eyes nearly bug out of your head. 

Eddie's laying there, hand down his sweats, tugging at himself like there's no tomorrow.

You almost cry out in shock but manage to swallow the noise just in time. For what feels like a full minute you stand and stare, mouth gaping open. It's like you're hypnotised, unable to tear away from his urgent movements. 

A particularly good stroke has him bucking into his hand, and he lets out this strained whimper that shoots directly between your legs. 

Right, stop. This is wrong. How would you feel if he caught you? …OK, bad example. 

Reluctantly, you close the door again as quietly as you can before climbing back into his bed to stare at the ceiling once more. 

It looks like it's going to be a long night. 

********************

“You look really great,” Chloe says as she strolls into the shop, handing you a coffee, “like, happier, more relaxed.” 

It's a few days after your impromptu sleepover at Eddie's place, and she's absolutely right. You do look more relaxed, even you've noticed the change. There's more confidence in you, and a smile that was once a little forced is warm and genuine. 

“Thanks, I think I'm getting more comfortable here.” It's not a lie, exactly, but it's certainly not the whole truth. 

“Good, glad to hear it!” She beams at you and heads to her table. 

The bell over the door chimes once again startling you. Miranda and Mac are already here and it couldn't possibly be Eddie this early. 

“Um… Hi.” A gangly youth walks in, all arms and legs and bright blonde hair. He shuffles over to the counter awkwardly. 

“Morning, can I help you?” 

“Y-yeah, you do walk-ins today, right?” He asks, brandishing a crumpled flyer at you. 

Face lighting up, you fix your best smile. 

“Why yes we do, it's walk-in Wednesday. It's a little early though. Can I see some ID? 

He hands it over. The guy's freshly 21 and knows it, puffing out his little pigeon chest with pride. 

“Excellent. It's about 10 minutes until we open, but Miranda will be with you. Miranda, you got a book for this guy?” 

Confusion paints Mirandas's face, but then she smiles. 

“A walk in? Wow.” She strolls over and hands him her portfolio of designs, introducing herself. 

When Eddie finally turns up, there's another guy waiting. 

“You're not my 10:30.” 

The poor boy looks at him nervously like he did something wrong. 

“Eddie, he's a walk-in.” Mac says, calling over his shoulder. 

Eddie smirks at you and leans over the counter. 

“Well well, bet you're happy. Atta girl.” 

Blushing profusely, you move to tap him on the arm in warning, but he grabs your hand and kisses it. Heat flies straight to your belly at the gesture.

“Let me know when my 10:30 is here, alright sweetheart?” 

He's still holding your hand, brushing his fingers over your knuckles. Weakly you nod, gazing at him as your toes curl in your shoes. 

Shooting you a wink, he ambles over to his station as you watch him, eyes drawn to the way he moves. 

There's three more clients asking about Wednesdays; granted, one didn't have an ID, but the other two were seen and inked, and one even booked a follow up with Miranda. 

Buzzing with job satisfaction, you're grinning when you nip to the restroom, walking through the narrow corridor. As you exit, you're immediately accosted by Eddie. He stands close, a hand loosely holding your wrist to keep you there as he bends to whisper in your ear. 

“Now, you're not supposed to touch fine art, but someone's gotta pin you against the wall and nail you right.” 

“Eddie!” You whisper shout at him, only serving to make him chuckle low in his throat. 

“Sorry, couldn't resist. I have an idea, for that favour you owe me?” 

Body tensing of its own accord, you look up at him, your cheeks flushed and mouth slightly parted. Before you can ask what it is, a voice cuts through the tension. 

“Hey, keep it at home guys.” 

Mac's standing at the other end of the corridor with his arms crossed, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Pursing your lips, you wriggle from Eddie's grip. 

“It's not what it looks like Mac, I promise.” You say, shouldering past Eddie. 

“Come on sweetheart, don't get all shy on me now!” He shouts, walking after you.

You ignore him, giving Mac an apologetic look, and sit back down at the counter. God, that was embarrassing. Seems like professional and discreet are out the window. 

“So, as I was saying-” 

“Eddie, stop, not now.” you say, cheeks bright red. 

“I was only-” 

“Eddie please! I don't want to get into trouble!” 

Eddie scoffs and rolls his eyes, but backs off finally. 

You make a very clear point of being busy until the rest of the day, completing any ad hoc tasks you can think of. Tidying the stock cupboards, refreshing the consent sheets, and even organising the sparse counter. Anything to avoid further comment from Mac. 

When six rolls around you turn to talk to Eddie, but he's already leaving without a glance at you. 

Sighing, you make your way outside and home, trying to ignore the little sting in your chest. 

********************

It's Saturday before you see him again. Your day off was mostly spent worrying about how you upset him and thinking about everything you could have done differently. 

By the morning you're an emotional wreck, anxiety having done her job and left you a bubbling mass of maybes. When Eddie storms in the shop with a proverbial rain cloud over his head your heart pangs in your chest. 

He's such a big character, and you didn't realise until now the influence this has on this place. Usually he's energetic and upbeat; however, with this melancholy energy coming from him, everyone seems to stoop a little more, eyes a touch downcast, movements more shuffled and broken. It's like a black hole has descended on the shop, pulling joy from your soul and sucking everything into its gravity.

The tattoo shop is quiet for a Saturday. Not from lack of customers; it's just a more hushed and sullen atmosphere. By the afternoon you decide enough is enough and you grab Eddie's arm between clients.

“Eddie, can I talk to you?” 

He gets up, stretching his back in a feline movement, and walks with you slowly to the stockroom. 

“Listen, I'm really sorry about what happened on Wednesday, I didn't want to upset you and I can't stand seeing you like this and-” 

“Woah, sweetheart, slow down. You been worrying? About me?” He tilts his head, giving you a small lopsided smile. 

“Yeah? I thought you were mad at me.” You mumble out. 

“Oh, princess, come here.” He wraps you in his arms, holding your head close to his chest. A relieved breath puffs from your chest as you melt into the hug. 

“That's not what I'm upset about, I promise.” 

You pull from the embrace to look at him, a hopeful smile tugging at your lips. 

“Really?” 

Stroking your cheek softly, he presses his lips together. “You're adorable,” he moves his hand away and starts waving his arm about as he tells you what's wrong. 

“You know I'm in a band? Well we've got this regular gig at Hatters, which is great and all, but I found out they're looking for more bands at The Pit. That big rock club on Main? I've been trying to get hold of the damn owner but he's ignoring all my calls and I'm pissed off.” 

Grinning, you grab his arm. “Eddie, I can totally help you with that.” 

His gaze is soft and warm as he asks “Really? You'd do that for me?” 

“Of course I would. You got their number?” 

He digs around in his pocket and passes you a wedge of shiny paper. Unfolding it, you look at the details, smiling even wider when you see they're attempting a ladies night. There's a telephone number at the bottom, the contact listed as William. 

“I gotta idea. Just roll with it, OK?” 

He looks confused but nods at you. Skipping to the counter, you pick up the phone and dial the number. When it's answered by a young woman, you speak with a nasal voice, sounding almost bored. 

“Is Bill there?- Tell him it's Barb- oh trust me he's gonna wanna take this call honey.” 

Eddie's staring at you with an amused expression; you look back at him, flashing a smile while you wait. 

“Bill! How long has it been! Oh, don't say you don't remember me… oh, you do!- I'm good, I'm good- I'm managing this band, yeah, you've gotta book them- Corroded Coffin- yeah, yeah- They are hot right now, selling out their shows- look I know you're struggling getting the ladies in, but that's about to change. Their lead singer is-  well lemme tell you, if I were a younger woman- haha yes, sounds great! Next Saturday?- Nine- Great stuff- I'll speak to you soon.” 

Placing the phone down with a little click, you cross your legs and look at Eddie smugly. 

His jaw may as well be on the floor, eyebrows so high that he resembles a cartoon character. 

“Barb? Selling out their shows? If I were a younger woman? Where the fuck did that come from?” 

You giggle, “I thought he'd listen if he thought I was a business connection. I took a shot, a little bullshit can take you far.” 

He swoops over to you and grabs you in his arms, lifting you bodily from your seat and swinging you around as you squeal helplessly. 

“Saturday? Not even midweek? Princess I owe you big time.” 

“Eddie I already owe-” 

He's not listening, running over to Mac and bouncing on the spot like a child. “Mac, Mac, did you hear? I'm playing at The Pit!!” 

You watch as he explains what just happened; he's so animated, gesticulating wildly as loose locks of hair fly from his bun. Mac beams at him and hugs him in a fatherly motion before Eddie springs back over to you. 

“Who the fuck is Barb?”

“I dunno, she sounded worldly.” 

He grins, shaking his head, “I can't believe you lied for me. You seem… different lately. More confident. It suits you.” 

Blushing, you thank him. For a second you stare at each other, both lost in the other. 

Eddie shakes his head, and looks at the time. 

“Fuck, right, I got 20 minutes, I'll be back!” He grabs his coat and runs out of the shop shouting “personal errand!” 

Chuckling, you sit back down at the counter. Mac approaches, smiling softly. 

“You did good Miss, he's really happy.” 

“Thanks, I couldn't bear the sulking.” 

He laughs and touches your shoulder, “he cares about you. In case you didn't notice.” 

He walks away nonchalantly as if he didn't just drop a bomb at your feet. Eddie cares about you? You're still pondering it when he returns a half hour later looking sweaty and dishevelled. 

“Princess, I got you a present,” he whispers, brandishing a nondescript black bag at you. You peek inside and shut it immediately. 

“Eddie what the fuck!” You whisper, face flooding with blood at the sight as you hide it under the counter. There's a sex toy in the bag, well at least one, but you were so shocked at the sight you didn't get a good look. 

He chuckles and leans in close. “Thought you'd like it.” 

“Eddie I don't know how to- to use this stuff,” you mumble quietly, looking around to make sure no one's listening. 

He smirks at you in response.

“You free tonight? I can show you.” 

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[jaeminify]

a game of tic tac toe.

synopsis ☆ mark would much rather spend his afternoon lazing around his apartment with just you in his clothes with a movie playing on in the background, but hanging out with his friends around was quite fun too.

warning/s ☆ mention of food/amount of food being eaten but it isn't specific!!

author's note ☆ hii! this is one of my second works posted onto this account and compared to my jaemin one shot, this one is much more mundane and while a little suggestive -- not so as compared to finders keepers >< please stay tuned for more works from me!! i'll do my best to put out better imagines and one shots <3 any feedback is much appreciated!

Mark can't seem to keep his hands off of you.

While that may seem like a regular occurrence, his hands are reaching out for yours more than usual, his head rests on your shoulder at least twice as more times when he's sat next to you, and when you're seated beside his close friend, he can't help (he could, he doesn't care) but pull you as close as possible even when the three of you are sat in a booth across his other friends.

"Need something, handsome?" You whisper as your eyes scan through the menu he's holding up for you.

He has one arm slung over your shoulder, holding the menu on the table for the both of you to read. It's easier for you, but the display of affection is a little surprising for you.

Discreetly, Mark leans his head down to give you a kiss. He lets his lips linger on yours one last time when he gives you a second peck, then he kisses the top of your head.

"You're so pretty today." He exhales, resting his head on your shoulder as he points to the meal he wants. "Wanna share that? Looks good."

"That's too heavy," You pout "We have dinner with your family tonight. I don't want to be rude by not ordering."

"I'll finish whatever's on your plate baby, I got you." Mark laughs but finds your concern over the tiniest of things (to him) endearingly cute. He likes that you pay attention to detail, even if it isn't so obvious to him.

"You could just sit there and they'd love you," He reassures. "I know I already do."

"Mark," You laugh. "The way you love me and the way they do is completely different."

"What's different in the way I love you?"

"Mark—"

"Okay, lovebirds! Need you two to put your hands in. We're playing tic tac toe and we need witnesses." Yuta belts, smiling innocently when Mark throws him a glare over your shoulder while you laugh at the paper they show you.

Tic Tac Toe Tournament is written at the top of their paper; you don't know where they got it from, but it's written in Jaehyun's writing so you know who was the mastermind was.

"It's gonna be Yuta versus Jaehyun first, then Jungwoo and Taeyong."

"Hey, how come I don't get to play?" Mark pays more attention this time, sitting up to accentuate his voice more. The arm that was looped over your shoulder instinctively drops lower to your waist, resting there.

"You were too busy staring at Y/N to even hear our question," Taeyong laughs, looking over at the couple with fondness in his eyes.

Even if he does teases Mark at how dense he becomes to his surroundings when you're around, he thinks you two are a good match that he adores.

"Wish you could've seen yourself. It was like cupid shot arrows in your eyes." Yuta grins.

You lean back into Mark's embrace and pinch his cheeks, not thinking too much about how his friends were with you two. You were aware that certain boys disliked affection or being coddled by their girlfriend when they were around their friends, but you were lucky because Mark never minded that. He'd even be the one to proudly ask for more hugs when you were around his friends.

Jaehyun, who had grown accustomed to your antics, shakes his head with a laugh.

"Not even cupid could compare," Jaehyun grins. "Cmon, pick a side." Jaehyun slides the paper over to you.

"I have to pick a side?"

"Have you been to a football match, Y/N?" Taeyong asks, smiling to show you his words were lighthearted. "You either sit on one side of the stadium, you can't cheer for two teams."

"Or so they say," Yuta winks at you, making Mark throw a tissue at him.

"Okay, I'll root for Yuta and Taeyong."

"Whaaat! Y/N I've known you the longest," Jaehyun whines.

"I cheered for you during your FIFA game, I can't keep cheering for one person."

"Especially when she has a boyfriend, Guys. Right here, by the way." Mark says, poking fun when he raises an arm to point at himself. "Sucks that I'm not playing, Y/N's great support."

"Her support for you would be a pity vote."

"In tic tac toe?"

"Especially in tic tac toe."

"That makes no—"

"What did I miss?" Jungwoo comes back to the booth with his phone, having left it at the theatre hall they watched their movie in previously.

"We're playing tic tac toe." Yuta says, beckoning him to hurry back into the seat so they could start playing.

"I'm against taeyong again?" Jungwoo squints his eyes, "Piece of cake. Hope you didn't bet against me Y/N."

"Not betting." You point out.

"So you voted for Taeyong?" He asked dryly.

"...Yes."

"The hell's that supposed to mean?"

"Can we start the game?" Jaehyun asks, impatiently grasping the pencil in his hand trying to pass one to Yuta.

The four boys start the game in front of you and Mark. The two of you don't really have to be paying attention much since it was a simple game, but you watched with interest when Taeyong would make side comments at Yuta placing the X's in the wrong boxes while Jaehyun drew hearts instead of O's for his turn.

In the midst of their bantering, Mark rests his chin on your shoulder and subconsciously, you place a hand on his knee to let him know in a subtle way that you're here and that you're still paying attention to him even when you tell Jungwoo to stop smudging Yuta's X's.

"I could totally win at tic tac toe." Mark mumbles just for you to hear.

You can't help but smile at how sulky he's gotten, knowing that he's only showing a straight face to not let the guys tease him. He doesn't really care if they do, he just likes sulking to you more than them.

"You could baby," You say to him, low enough only for him to hear. "I'd even cheer you on."

"I know you would, Angel." He smiles, "With how pretty you sound in bed your voice is music to me."

"Hey," your head turns sharply to face him, placing a finger up between you and his lips, Mark has to bite back a smile at how cute you are, choosing to kiss the tip of your finger before he lays his head on your shoulder again.

He pokes your side to get your attention but your focused suddenly shifts to the match between Jungwoo and Taeyong. Jaehyun wins the first round against Yuta, the latter saying he wasn't focused because he hasn't played in a while.

"How do you even lose at tic tac toe?"

"You're living it, Yuta. That's literally you."

"Shut up and start the game," Yuta groans, passing Taeyong his pencil after hearing his friend tease him.

"You sure you don't wanna change your mind, Y/N?" Jungwoo pokes fun, drawing the lines for the game to start after he scribbles down his and Taeyong's name.

You shake your head at Mark's friend, "Nope. I trust Tae, I know he'll do well."

"Wish I had that confidence," Taeyong mumbles.

"It's just tic tac toe..." Mark breathes out, shaking his head when he sees how worked up his friends are getting over one game while waiting for your dessert.

Mark tunes out the conversation, only turning his head to look over at what you guys are doing when he hears you laugh, or when you move forward that Mark doesn't feel your skin on his that makes him tune back in to what the guys are saying.

Mark almost falls asleep when he realises it's been drizzling outside, raindrops pattering softly onto the glass pane he leans on, but when he feels you move again, he turns his head again and notices the way you've now brushed your hair to rest on one side of your shoulder. The clasp of your necklace sits prettily on your neck, making Mark realise you dressed up more than usual today.

Don't get him wrong, you looked gorgeous in anything you wore (much more when you were wearing his clothes, he would debate), but what catches his eyes is the way your shirt lightly raises the more you lean forward. Granted only Mark is privy to see such exposure of your skin; let alone your back, but his mind gets the best of him and before he can stop himself, his hand reaches out to lightly graze his hand over your waist.

You jump a little at how light Mark's touch is, but you don't pull away from your argument — whatever it was about with Jaehyun — to look at Mark.

Mark's a little dazed and empty-headed when he focuses on your skin against his palm. It's not like he was looking to start anything, he loved holding you. Maybe physical touch was his love language, but he liked having you near him. You did too, but Mark enjoyed it maybe a tad bit more.

When you finally scoot back to be closer to Mark after concluding who had won this match, you rest your back against Mark's chest and he locks you close to him, the hand that had been tracing random patterns on your skin only slid to the front of your body to hug you. Mark quietly watched the next game of tic tac toe begin between Taeyong and Jaehyun.

Looks like you won both of the bets; even if no money was involved.

You laugh at something Jungwoo says and Mark feels your laughter through your body against his and soon, like most days, he's smiling against the top your head, leaving light kisses on it.

The four boys get caught up in their game, demanding another rematch, this time between Yuta and Jungwoo.

When you tell them to handle this game on their own, Mark volunteers to play the next match against Taeyong.

Although Mark would prefer a quiet day in spent with you with movies being played in the background while the both of you lazed around in your most casual attire, he couldn't lie that moments with his friends and you were just as good.

His favourite people with his person; his most adored person in his world as of right now. He wouldn't want it any other way.

#mark lee imagines #mark lee scenarios #nct dream scenarios #nct dream imagines #mark imagines #mark scenarios #mark lee soft #mark lee soft imagines #nct dream soft #mark lee fluff #mark fluff #nct dream fluff

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Hear ye, hear ye! I come with a spicy request most worthy of a several year sentence in Horny jail! XD

Bottom villain x top hero, where the two are in an enemies with benefits kinda situationship, and this time seems like it’s gonna be no different (rough and kinda mean). But then, gasp, it’s revealed the villain was recently injured, and the hero gets pretty concerned. The villain insists on things continuing as normal, but the hero, not wanting to hurt their nemesis, changes things up, and does em sweet, slow, and gentle <3

“Ready?” All it took was this one word to activate the villain’s entire nervous system.

Usually, the hero didn’t lose many words over this. It was quick and rough. For the most part, that made it desirable. Sleeping with the enemy was thrilling and more or less like an adrenaline kick for the villain. It was a luxury they could afford. It didn’t mean anything. It didn’t have to either.

The hero was proficient and smart. They had figured out what the villain liked and what they didn’t like in the first few hookups they had spent together. If it hadn’t been for their stupid righteousness and their sense of justice that would never be just, they would’ve probably made a great partner. In bed at least.

Admittedly, the villain had thought about that a few times. Would the hero be a good lover? Someone who was willing to save everyone if they could? Someone who would put others before themselves constantly? Someone who may choose a city over a person?

After all, probably not. And even if they were, who would want the villain? Someone rotten, someone broken, someone—

“You’re distracted.”

“Oh, yes. Yeah, sorry.” The hero’s hand ran along the villain’s inner thigh and even though the stitches should have been good enough, the villain was nervous.

How on earth was anyone supposed to stitch the back of their thigh anyway?

They grabbed the hero’s muscly shoulders and tried to steady themselves.

“Alright.” The hero’s hand travelled down the villain’s thigh until they reached their knee. From there, they grabbed the hollow of the villain’s knee. “I have a meeting in an hour, so I’ll need to be quick today.”

“Yes, of course,” the villain said. They watched as the hero handled their leg and put it on their own shoulder. Cold air hit their shin but they knew in a few seconds, they wouldn’t even need the blanket anymore. The villain swallowed and prayed the hero wouldn’t notice the stitches.

Although they pressed a soft kiss to the villain’s thigh, they barely broke eye contact. Immediately, the villain felt the blood rush to their head.

Sometimes they really needed the hero.

After a few more kisses, the hero leaned forward until the villain’s thigh was pressed between their naked chests. They were close again, close enough to kiss but the villain knew their nemesis never really did that. Kissing their body? Sure. Kissing the villain? On good days, maybe.

The villain found the position familiar and yet, their wound made it nearly impossible to enjoy it.

Eventually they pulled the hero closer, waiting for them to push themselves into them.

However. The thread snapped and the villain could feel how the wound ripped open again.

They let out an involuntary sigh and held onto the villain’s back. Accidentally, they left scratch marks on their enemy’s skin.

“Wait, I haven’t even…”

“No, it’s fine, sorry. Continue. Please,” the villain choked out between clenched teeth.

“Oh…wait, holy shit.” The hero looked down and all the villain had to see was smeared blood on the hero’s hand. “Was that me!?”

“Nononono, I’m so sorry. That was yesterday.”

“I’m gonna get a towel.”

“No.” The villain grabbed them before they could go. “I look forward to this day every week. Let’s just finish this quickly, the bleeding isn’t even that bad.”

“Listen, I know you’re strong but…” The hero put their hand on the cut to stop the bleeding. It wasn’t too bad but the pain was still excruciating. “…having sex while bleeding is counterproductive.”

“We’re already naked and you don’t have much time left.”

“I can cancel my meeting.”

“Please, let’s just—”

“As stubborn as ever, I suppose.” The hero made an expression close to a warm smile and at first, the villain didn’t quite understand. However, when the hero pushed the blanket against the wound and themselves into the villain at the same time, the villain couldn’t help but moan happily.

The hero’s fingers were gentler and their movements slower than usual. As if the villain was something very delicate.

“This is stupid,” the hero whispered. “Tell me if anything’s wrong.”

But the villain could barely listen. Despite the pulsating wound in their leg, they could only concentrate on the sweet pleasure the hero was giving them. It felt better than expected.

And then the villain leaned over, pressure still on the wound, to kiss them.

The villain had never felt this desired in their entire life. Their heart was pounding in their chest when they felt the hero’s tongue in their mouth.

They didn’t demand anything, they didn’t take anything. It was simple and raw pleasure that the hero gave them. As if they’d been waiting for this.

“You’re so stupid, do you know that?” the hero whispered against the villain’s skin when they had to catch new air.

“Oh, I—” The villain couldn’t even form a sentence. Their enemy was hitting good spots constantly. Instinctively, they reached for the hero’s neck to pull them closer.

“Promise me to tell me next time, got it?” the hero asked. They planted a trail of kisses down the villain’s throat and sucked on their skin softly.

“If you treat me like this again,” the villain answered between moans. They couldn’t think anymore. It felt better than it should have.

It felt good enough to fall in love.

The villain wanted to hate them for it. For their gentleness and their sweet voice but all the villain had on their mind was their nemesis on top of them.

“Every night, if you want to,” the hero promised. They smiled against the villain’s skin.

“I love you,” the villain mumbled. They hadn’t realised it. They wouldn’t even remember it.

But the hero would remember. And it was all they could think about for the next few months.

#your mouth is moving a lot like a rat. yappa yappa yappa #writing snippet #heroxvillain prompt #heroxvillain snippet #heroes and villains #hero #villain #hero x villain #heroxvillain #an answer for an ask #request #suggestive #whump #h/c

[dreamescapeswriting]

Fragile Promises ~ JHS

⤜WORD COUNT: 2.5K

⤜GENRE: established relationships, jealous girlfriend speaks up, toxic behaviour from Hoseok, 

⤜PAIRING: Hoseok x Fem!Reader

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - April 2024

⤜MASTERLIST

Large windows lined one side of the cafe that you and your best friend - Kat - were inside. It was a small place tucked away somewhere in the city, it was your "special place" as you guys called it. It was the one place the two of you could go to and fully relax - somewhere that wasn't your home - you'd come here at least twice a week to talk to one another, to catch up or to even just have some good food that the two of you could share and today was no different. 

You and Kat had been looking forward to this lunch date for days, you'd been in desperate need of your friend and you'd been missing her a lot lately. Lunch was the perfect time to catch up, share stories and just enjoy each other's company away from the hustle of daily life. 

"You should have seen Matt's face, it was incredible," Kat giggled, she'd just finished telling you about her boyfriend's reaction to her pregnancy news and you were over the moon for her, truly you were but there was something else that had grabbed your attention, commanding you to look away from Kat.

"What's up?" She whispered following your line of sight and landing on Hoseok with his arm wrapped around the shoulder of another girl. Your heart sunk at the sight of them together as you looked down at your hands, you knew who she was. Lisa was one of Hoseok's closest friends and had been for the longest time now.

"They seem...close," Kat said, her voice sounding almost as pissed off as you did but you bit down on your tongue. You knew that Lisa and Hoseok were close but it didn't make it easier for you to understand when they were together like this. Always so close, cuddling or laughing about inside jokes - which neither of them ever shared with you. Sometimes it just made you feel like they were joking about you or that you were being pushed out of the picture. L

You sighed, feeling a knot of jealousy tightening in your chest, you hated getting jealous over something like this but seeing them so close tore you up inside. 

"I know they've been friends for a long time, but seeing them like this... it's hard not to feel insecure." Kat knew of your past relationships, boyfriends with "best friends" who turned out to be more, it was only natural for you to be a little unsure of their relationship together. Kat reached out and squeezed your hand. 

"I understand, but you should talk to Hoseok about it. Communication is key in any relationship." You nodded reluctantly, you knew that talking to Hoseok would be the right thing to do but you weren't sure he was going to listen to you. Lisa had her claws in pretty deep with him and if she had it her way you wouldn't even be in the picture. 

"Yeah, I guess," You mumbled, no longer feeling hungry enough to eat the food in front of you but you did it anyway, trying to come up with a way to talk to Hoseok about everything later. 

As you stepped through the threshold of your shared home, you were met with an unexpected sight. Lisa was just leaving, giggling at something that Hoseok must have said before you walked through the door, but as she passed by you, you couldn't help but notice the smirk playing on Lisa's lips, a subtle hint of something more lurking beneath the surface. It sent a shiver down your spine, igniting a spark of unease within you.

As Lisa passed by, her gaze lingered on you for a moment too long, a silent challenge in her eyes. You felt a surge of discomfort, your suspicions about Lisa's intentions growing stronger with each passing second. While Hoseok might not have seen them you weren't as blind as he was to her, Lisa wanted Hoseok and would do anything to get him, at least she seemed to like that type.

Once she was gone you turned to Hoseok, your heart heavy with apprehension, you'd been coming up with something to say all afternoon and after seeing Lisa everything you'd thought about had washed from your mind completely. 

"Hobi, can we talk?" You ventured, trying to keep your voice steady to make it seem as though you had control of this and weren't acting like some clingy girlfriend. You wanted to do this peacefully and calmly, just tell him how you were feeling and hopefully get some reassurance that everything was just in your head. Hoseok's brows furrowed in irritation, a hint of impatience colouring his tone. 

"What is it now, Yn? Can't it wait? I have things to do," he snapped, his dismissive attitude cutting through you like a knife. He was under a lot of stress with work so you put it down to that, though he had seemed fine with Lisa earlier in the day which only pissed you off more. You couldn't let it go. The encounter with Lisa had stirred up a storm of emotions within you, and you needed answers. 

"It's about Lisa," You began tentatively, your words catching in your throat and it was as if all time had stood still. You watched as Hoseok - with his back to you - stood up straight and his whole body turned ridged. He must've known what you were going to talk to him about since it was something you'd bought up once or twice before. His eyes narrowed as he turned around to face you, his jaw clenched in frustration. 

"What about her? I've told you a hundred times, she's just a friend. Can't you trust me?" he retorted, his voice laced with accusation. It wasn't that you didn't trust him, it was her you couldn't trust. And the fact that he was refusing to even acknowledge how you were feeling in the situation fueled you with so much anger.

"It's not just about trust, Hoseok. It's about boundaries. I can't shake off this feeling that she wants more than just friendship with you," You confessed, your voice trembling with emotion as you waited for him to say something, anything, just some kind of reassurance that all of this was fine and he only wanted you but it wasn't what you got. 

"You're so fucking controlling, you know that," He spat out harshly, laughing dryly as he threw the take-out containers onto the table and shook his head at you. 

"This jealousy of yours is getting out of hand," He shook his head at you, you'd never seen him look so angry before and it scared you that this was how he was choosing to react instead of talking things through with you. 

"Hobi, please, can we just talk about what happened with Lisa?" He let out an exasperated sigh, 

"What more is there to talk about, YN? I've already told you countless times she's just a friend!" He yelled at you, finally losing his patience as he rubbed his face in frustration,

"I know, but... it's just... she looked at me like... like there's something more going on." Maybe it was all in your head, or maybe it was Lisa trying to mess with you but you needed confirmation from him.

"Oh, come on, Yn! Are you seriously going to let some look from Lisa drive you crazy? You're being so clingy and paranoid!" He scoffs at you, making you feel as though you were truly what he was calling you, but you knew Lisa and you knew she'd get everything she wanted.

"I'm not trying to be clingy or paranoid, Hobi. I just... I can't shake off this feeling. I'm scared..." Your voice trembled as you finally admitted it to him and he shook his head at you, staring at you with a darkness in his eyes you'd never seen before.

"Scared of what? That I'll leave you for Lisa? That's just absurd, Yn! You're letting your obsession with this whole situation ruin what we have!" He gestured between you both and you shook your head at him.

"I'm not obsessed! I'm just trying to express how I feel. Is it too much to ask for you to understand that?" The question hung in the air, it felt like an eternity had passed before he finally answered you.

"Yes, Yn, it is! You're always so damn controlling, trying to dictate who I can and can't be friends with. It's suffocating!" It was like a punch to the gut as you heard him admit this to you. You'd never once tried to tell him he couldn't see her or spend time with her, you just wanted him to let you know everything was okay.

"I'm not trying to control you. I just need to know that our relationship means something to you, that you care about how I feel." Tears streamed down your face as Hoseok shook his head at you, his resolve remaining unyielding,

"Well, if you can't trust me, maybe we shouldn't be together," he declared, his ultimatum hanging heavily in the air. You watched helplessly as Hoseok turned away, his words echoing in your mind like a cruel refrain. With a heavy heart, you realized that your once-solid foundation was crumbling beneath the weight of unspoken truths and unbridled resentment. And as you stood alone in the silence of their home, you knew that your relationship would never be the same again.

"N-No...No, you can't just walk away." You whimpered, rushing to stand in front of him, ready to beg him not to leave you if that was what it was going to take to get him to stay.

"H...Hobi, please... don't leave me. I can't imagine my life without you. I promise I'll be better, I'll change. Just give me a chance to make things right." You pleaded with him, tears streaming down your face but you didn't care how you looked or how desperate you sounded, you couldn't go without him in your life. Sighing Hoseok stepped away from you,

"Yn, I... I don't know if I can do this anymore. It's been so hard lately, and I don't feel like you understand me." Ironic since it was him who didn't understand your feelings but you weren't in the right stand of mind to process anything right now, so you shook your head, holding onto him tightly.

"I understand, I do. I know I've been too needy, too controlling. But I'm willing to work on it, I swear. Just please, don't give up on us." You stared up at him, he hesitated, staring down at you and biting his lip.

"I don't want to give up on us either, Yn. But something has to change. I can't keep feeling suffocated in this relationship.

"I hear you, Hobi. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to fix things. Just tell me what you need from me."

"I need you to trust me, and Lisa because she's not going anywhere," He mumbled, you nodded at him before he walked away, cleaning up the living room as if he hadn't just threatened to leave you. Not even giving you so much as a kiss or an apology for the things he had said. 

Several months had passed since that tumultuous evening, yet the rift between you and Hoseok seemed wider than ever. Your once radiant smile had faded, replaced by a haunting sadness that lingered in your eyes. Unspoken words were written down in journals and never to your boyfriend who you had once told everything. But you were terrified that if you admitted you were still jealous he'd leave.

Hoseok, consumed by his own pursuits and blinded by his stubborn pride, had failed to mend the wounds he inflicted on your relationship, leaving you with a hole inside of you that desperately needed to be filled.

You found solace in the companionship of your male best friend from work, Jake. You shared laughs, inside jokes, and long conversations that lifted your spirits in ways Hoseok couldn't anymore. Jake's presence breathed new life into you, reminding you of the joy and warmth you had lost.

But as your friendship with Jake blossomed, Hoseok's jealousy reared its ugly head this time. He couldn't bear the thought of you finding happiness outside of your fractured relationship, just as you had struggled with his closeness to Lisa. 

One day, as you returned home from spending time with Jake, you walked through the door with a giant smile on your face, one you hadn't been able to wipe since Jake had dropped you off at him. 

"What's got you smiling so much?" The voice cut through the air and the smile was instantly wiped, you found Hoseok waiting for you, a solemn expression etched on his face. He had finally come to terms with the gravity of his mistakes, the weight of his regret heavy in his heart as he finally realised everything you must have been going through all those months ago.

"Jake said something pretty funny," You replied plainly, putting your bags down and taking off your jacket. The air was thick with tension as you slowly made your way through the living room and Hoseok sighed,

"Yn, we need to talk," He began, his voice tinged with remorse as he stared at you, he didn't expect you to forgive him after all this time but you were still together so there was at least a fighting chance. 

"I realize now how badly I've messed up. I should have listened to you and respected your feelings, but I was too blind to see the damage I was causing." Caught off guard you stared at him, your gaze softening with a mixture of pain and hope. Neither of you had spoken about that night, it was a dark spot in your relationship neither of you went near again. 

"Hoseok, I've been trying so hard to make things work between us, but it's been so difficult. I don't know if I can go through this again." You sniffled a little, you didn't want him to fight with you again, you were trying everything to move past what had happened. Hoseok reached out, gently taking your hand in his and it suddenly felt like the first time he had touched you in a long time. 

"I understand, Yn. And I don't expect you to forgive me right away. But I promise to do better, to be the partner you deserve. I'll make things right, no matter what it takes."  Tears streamed down your face as you searched Hoseok's face, seeking sincerity in his words. And though the scars of their past lingered, you couldn't ignore the flicker of hope igniting within you once more.

"Okay, Hobi," You whispered, the nickname slipping out of you with ease as you felt a weight lift from your shoulders. 

"Let's try to make things better... together." As you embraced, you felt a glimmer of optimism blooming within you, a fragile yet resilient seed of reconciliation taking root amidst the wreckage of your fractured love. And with each step forward, you embarked on a journey of healing, redemption, and the endless pursuit of second chances.

@chiisaiblog@sw33tnight@kaitieskidmore97@laylasbunbunny@tinyoonsblog@whitefoxgirl@katnisspeetaprim@acciocriativity@choisoorin@heyjiminnie@btsiguess-kpop@halesandy@gothic4under4lord@soulphoenix1618@aerastus@jin-from-the-block@lenfilms@elizaschuyler18@piratequeen-impact @Namgiswifey@delulu18@xyahrinx@katsukis1wife@anthropologymajorkpopmultistan@blairscott@4-chan-inpadella@swga-ficrecs@niktwazny303@armystay89@myyouthdonut@xakx@kittymaryam-thebrowniefairy@kpopmenace143@loveforred@b1nn1e-1s-cut3@elissasimp @royallyjjk @parkjennykim @piercedddriver

#bts #bts x reader #bts imagine #bts imagines #hoseok #hoseok x reader #hoseok imagine #hoseok imagines #jung hoseok #jung hoseok x reader #jung hoseok imagine #jung hoseok imagines #jhope #jhope x reader #jhope imagine #jhope imagines

[koolades-world]

I have a request for an MC who's never been called beautiful or handsome before, so when they're complimented, they ask why and just start to cry. The brothers (plus Dia and Barbatos, if it's not too much to ask, of course) are shocked at their tears and find out that their human had never been complimented before this moment.

Sorry if it's too specific, I had this experience and I cried for way too long, I just want to know how the boys would react.

hi there! yes of course :)

no worries about the specifics and such. so glad someone called you stunning like you are. you and everyone readying this: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL HANDSOME STUNNING GORGEOUS PRETTY!!!!! if nobody has told you that today, know that you are!! you deserve the world :)))

enjoy <3

Mc who cries after being called beautiful/handsome/stunning

Lucifer

right after you had finally taken your last RAD exam, you thought you looked like a mess and you vocalized that

he swooped into to disagree and called you handsome

he’s quick to comfort you when you start to cry because he’s not quite sure why

when he finds out it’s because he called you handsome, he dabs always your tears and makes a mental note to call you good looking more often

Mammon

he called you it kind of in the heat of the moment

but that he didn’t mean it, but he was just so excited! you’d just helped him win a huge bet and made him loads of grim so it slipped out in a long string of compliments

he slows down once he sees you crying, and wipes your tears

he tells you he’d call you beautiful over and over again if you wanted because he really did think you were the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen

Levi

he really worked himself up to compliment you like this

after all, as a chronic overthinker, he sat for while thinking about the implications and how you might react

once he finally said it after almost chickening out, he totally freaked out after you burst out into tears

the following ten minutes were chaotic to say the least, but in the end he knew it was out of joy

Satan

omg I can literally see him reciting the iconic lines to you from Romeo and Juliet

this man is so extra in subtle ways

you’re gorgeous and he wants to you to know

by the time he’s at the end of his lines, you’re of course a blubbering mess but he’s there for you, ready to melt your heart all over again

Asmo

he often throws around that word comfortable

so, it's only natural he ends up calling you it once or twice

he didn't even realize the way you froze and started to tear up after

eventually he turns around and sees the silent tears rolling down your cheeks with a smile, and pulls you into a hug. he's gonna be calling you that a lot more from now on :)

Beel

he probably says it in passing after you called something or someone else pretty

something along the lines of “you’re pretty too” simple and to the point

he feels several moments of panic until you start to try to reassume him that they’re not bad tears

every time you call something else pretty or something along those lines, he thinks of that moment and says what he said back then with more purpose

Belphie

he for sure tells you while the two of you are our stargazing

out of the blue, he rolls over and tells you you remind him of the brightest, twinkling star and that you shine in the same, brilliant, beautiful way

without looking back at you, he returns to star gazing as you begin to silently sniff

he pulls you into his side, gently smiling and hugging you tight

Diavolo

after getting ready for a party and putting on the finished touches on your outfit, you turned to him to ask how you looked

after he told you you looked incredibly handsome, you couldn’t stop the waterworks from flowing

he’s very afraid at first he said something wrong but after you explain it’s just because you’ve never been called that before, his whole demeanor changes

he personally delivers handwritten notes to you daily during RAD that are just all the things he loves about you in them now <33

Barbatos

when he gives out a compliment, it’s very deliberate

he thinks very carefully about what he wants to say, not because he’s afraid he’ll say something wrong, but because he really wants it to mean something

when he called you and your work pretty along with a few other things, he wasn’t sure how to initially react to your tears

but eventually when you started to hug him, he hugged you back and comforted you. he has the little d’s make a routine or complimenting you too :)

#obey me #obey me! #obey me x reader #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me belphie #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #omswd #obey me shall we date #obey me! shall we date

[prince-liest]

Gonna be a bummer for a bit! (CW fish illness)

Lucy started pineconing slightly a few hours ago and I feel really shitty about it because I don't know what I could have done for this to not have happened, but I'm sure there was something.

Her fin rot visibly and dramatically worsened over the weekend despite a second dose of the antibiotic treatment I was using, and I even had a second medication arrive today, but she was already lethargic and not really eating. She's just been floating in the front corner of the tank where I usually feed her with her belly somewhat swollen, not really moving except to take breaths every once in a while. And then as of the past couple of hours, her scales are popping up a bit, which, in combination with the belly swelling, pretty much guarantees end-stage renal failure resulting in fluid retention, which is a death sentence for a fish.

She's always been such a lively fish full of way more personality than you'd expect from, y'know, a little aquatic creature, and I have been so convinced that she'd live a good life of at least 4-5 years of chasing shrimp around, but here I am with her probably-dead barely a year and a half into her life. It just feels shitty, because this isn't, like, a random death - there's clearly a disease process happening - but I don't know how to fix it or what I should have done to prevent it, except maybe realize that it was happening earlier. I still don't know if the red splotches she developed months and months ago were signs of a latent bacterial infection or just her changing colors like bettas sometimes do.

I've done water changes. Her water parameters are pristine. There's a thriving and reproducing population of adult and baby shrimp in her tank, which are all notoriously bad at handling crappy water. There's no other fish in there to stress her. There are so many plants. I only feed the highest quality betta food I could find based on extensive reviews. I added shrimp for enrichment and snacks. The water is heated. Even a few hours ago, I was convinced that I could get her through this. What happened?

I guess now I just mostly feel bad because barring a miracle, I'm probably going to find her dead tomorrow and it's going to be fucking horrible. Her poor fins look so awful right now. At least she's in a comfortable and familiar place. She's moving around a little more, now, and the pineconing is less obvious in the new light...I'm going to at least hope that I'm wrong about this.

Swim in peace, Lucy, if you don't make it the night.

#personal #dear diary #petblogging #cw animal illness

[bad268]

I love your writing so much!!

Can you kaybe do a Ralf Aron one where him and the readers parents go way back and they always thought that Ralf and the reader were going to marry each other?

Skip To That Part (Ralf Aron X Reader)

Fandom: RPF/WEC

Requested: Clearly (THANK YOU SO MUCH LOVE)

Warnings: None (no physical descriptions of reader)

POV: Second Person (You/you)

W.C. 1270

Summary: Let's just skip to the best part of the wedding (save me from embarrassment). + Song Rec

Join my 1K Celly

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Pinterest)

Today was the day. Your wedding day. As cliche as it sounded, you were excited to start the new chapter. Sure, not much of a new chapter when you grew up with your future husband, but a step forward nonetheless. Ralf and you had been friends since primary school and together since you were teens. You were interested in engineering, so it was easy to follow him around everywhere. You were able to help with his karts, and it was only a matter of time before he put a ring on your finger.

The only thoughts that ran through your head as you stood at the altar were that you could not believe it. All that planning was finally coming to fruition, and so far, it was perfect. The skies were clear, the weather was nice and the wedding itself was small. You only wanted your closest family and friends since you were both pretty reserved. Plus, this was your day. Neither of you needed to justify your want to have a small ceremony or reception. 

There was one very important part of the ceremony, though. It was something you were looking forward to, and when you first told Ralf about it, he thought it was a great idea. You had heard about people having their parents or married family members give you advice or tell a story during the ceremony, and every video you saw of it made you want to include it in your day. 

Your concentration (or lack thereof) when your mom and Ralf’s mom stood before you. You chuckled nervously before they took the place of the officiant and faced the rest of your families.

“Before we get started with the advice,” Your mom started as a few of your families looked at your mothers.

“We thought now would be a good time for a story,” His mom finished off. Everyone laughed, but you looked at Ralf nervously, knowing this was probably going to be an embarrassing story. His mom waited for everything to calm down before gesturing to your mom and saying, “For some background, I have known her for years.”

“That’s right! At least 30 years!” Your mom laughed, playing along. “And we said that when we had kids, we would force them to be friends.”

“Well, lucky for us, our kids didn’t need to be forced!” The entire group erupted in laughter as you leaned to try and hide your face in Ralf’s shoulder. “These two were always attached. I don’t even think I ever saw you apart!”

“I can think of one time where I walked in on you two-” Your mom started, but by the glint in her eyes, you knew this was not a story you wanted to air out.

“Mom, please don’t embarrass me too much on my wedding day,” You cut her off immediately. No one needed to know that story. Some things just needed to stay between you and her, and this was one of them. 

“Ok, we won’t say that story,” Your mom conceded as she brought her hand up to fix a hair that had fallen in front of your eyes. “But I will say this. One day, we took them to the local karting track. This was back when they both wanted to be F1 drivers.”

“Oh right! To say Ralf got beaten to a pulp was an understatement,” His mom chuckled, poking fun at her son.  

“We were like 7!” Ralf defended himself with a laugh.

“Anyways,” Your mom dragged out before gesturing to you, “You climbed out of that kart so quickly and ran to Ralf. I don’t even think I’ve seen Lightning McQueen go faster than that!”

“You hit him with such momentum that it knocked him over! Good thing you both were wearing helmets,” His mom joked. The rest of the guests also laughed as both of your cheeks flushed from embarrassment. “I said right then and there you two would get married, so thank you for making me 100 euros richer.”

“You bet money on my love life?” Ralf gasped as his mom added the last part. “I should get at least half! I mean, it is my life!”

“And I get the significant other’s tax of 50%,” You joked with everyone, but once everyone calmed down, you turned to your mom and mother-in-law, “Did you really make a bet based on that one interaction?”

“Oh no!” They both said quickly, almost offended at the accusation.

“There’s plenty of instances that led to the bet,” His mom said.

“Like when you first met, and you grabbed his hand and said, ‘mine’ before dragging him into your room.”

“Or when you both raced against each other, swapped cars and immediately said each other’s cars sucked.”

“Or when you joined Prema just to travel with him during his F4 and F3 champaigns.”

“Or when you said you couldn’t stand each other after every other time you hung out.”

“Or when you both admitted to not wanting to ruin your friendships because of your feelings,” Your mom exasperated. “I had to listen to it for three years! We had to do something!”

“What do you mean you had to do something?” You and Ralf asked skeptically. You did not like the sound of that. Neither of you did.

“Let’s just say someone had to give you a little push but don’t shoot the messenger,” His mom replied quickly as she raised her hands in surrender. That’s when you realized what they were talking about.

You were 15 when you became official with Ralf. He slipped a note in your post box, and you knew it was him because it was his handwriting. You knew his handwriting like the back of your hand. It was a love letter that you still had to this day. As soon as you read his confession, you went to his house and admitted your feelings. The rest was history. 

However, the way his mom said, “Don't shoot the messenger” got you thinking. You never mentioned the letter to Ralf, thinking he delivered it, but the way she said it seemed suspicious.

“Did you give me that letter?” You decided to just bite the bullet and ask.

“What letter?” Ralf asked as he glanced between you and his mom confused. “What am I missing here?”

“Ralf, did you or did you not confess to me through a letter?”

“No…” He trailed off but picked it back up in a second. “I wrote a letter once, but I threw it away. I was going to give it to you, but the day after I wrote it, you came over and confessed. I didn’t need to give it to you.”

“Would it happen to have started with, ‘How about we shift our gears and drive into the sunset together? Because with you, every road feels like a scenic route’?” His face said it all as his eye snapped to his mom. “So the bet is invalid because the messenger interfered. I petition to just move on and never speak of it again.”

With a laugh, they sat back down, and the officiant stood between us again. Just as the officiant was about to call up the first couple to give us advice, Ralf stopped them.

“Can we just skip to the part where we kiss? We can do the advice during the reception, but that story took forever,” Ralf pressed as he tried to pull you closer. The officiant looked at you for approval, to which you nodded with a sigh.

“I think it’s time we skip to that part.”

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

#ralf aron x reader #ralf aron x you #ralf x reader #ralf x you #ralf aron #paul aron #formula 1 #formula 2 #formula 3 #world endurance championship #wec #f1 #f2 #f3 #wec x reader #bad268 #ship268 #thing268

[bucephaly]

BTW if you haven't already please take a minute to look up what venomous snakes are local to you and familiarize yourself with them

#i joined a local snake ID group recently #before that i knew roughly how to spot a pit viper and hownto tell a coral from a scarlet snake #but i didnt really know how to identify specific species other than copperheads #and now im very confident in my ability to tell water snakes from cottonmouths etc #and it gives really nice peace of mind #like. ive seen so many people here in the us south that will freak out of Any snake #my mom once was yelling and crying trying to get help over a kingsnake on the sidewalk cuz she didnt know if it could kill the dogs #and people will kill snakes if they dont know [and often will anyway but knowing helps foster appreciation] #and now i can see a snake and say thats a coachwhip. isnt it pretty. and will gently grab the back end to look at it for just a second more #before letting it go hide #idk. i saw a rattlesnake in the woods today #and its the first time seeing one in the wild like that. and yea it was scary tbh #and i got a pic but booked it out once it noticed me and reacted #but i wish i had stopped and watched it longer cuz it was super pretty #and i know it wouldnt have bothered me at all #im just glad that we've seen two big full sized diamondbacks here in the past few months. and i know theyre two individuals #because eastern diamondbacks are declining and its good to know theres a population here #idk. im getting sentimental over snakes i just love them #but my main point is its so easy to indentify snakes at least where im at #and learning to id them comes with learning to respect them

[sskk-manifesto]

♡

#Wow. Okay ♡ #I love this episode. The animation is flawless. The drawings quality is out of the world for real. #I love this episode so much I'm so grateful so much care and dedication went to this sskk centered episode. #(Refraining to talk about what 5x03 could have been) #Sorry for repeating myself but seriously the illustrations this episode are so so pretty. #I rarely appreciate how Akutagawa is drawn in the anime but when it comes with this episode I really like how he looks too. #And Atsushi that I already like a lot in the anime on average‚ this episode is just fabulous. Handsome even. #Seriously I don't know who the animators are but I want to kiss them. This art style is one I dare say I like even more than Dead Apple– #that although is obviously more detailed is just... In comparison too rough for my personal taste? #The art style for this episode is very delicate and soft and I love it tons #And the directing is just great. No weird pacing or awkward ost choice. It's neat. #The reiterated placing ss/kk on opposite sides is neat. The lightening is likeable and especially the purple scene is super pretty. #The “don't compare me to him” scene is neat. The ss/kk final scene is AMAZING. It's gorgeous and stunning and awestriking and every other– #epitome in the world. It's like the only scene I believe turned out better in the anime that it is in the manga which is saying SO MUCH. #But it's really that good!!!!! My favourite anime ss/kk scene ever. #Aaaaaahhh please let me talk about it forever it's sooo pretty and especially poignant... #The heaven-like soft yellow light and how it contrasts with the bleak stormy background. But especially their softening features... #Man that scene. okay. Akutagawa's quiet surprise!!!! That scene is. Idk. Unfortunately chapter 88 exists– #but it's nearly the most romantic thing ever. #I'll leave it at this. It's not like the bsd animation suddenly became a masterpiece and this is still an episode– #I would say I like less than my least liked k/l/k episode (Trigger animation my beloved). But in comparison with the rest of the anime– #It's really bsd anime at its peak #random rambles #Aah peoples btw I'm probably going to spam ss/kk‚‚‚‚ a lot today. Apologies in advance unfollow me now etc. etc.

[zevrans]

.

#job's been sucking life out life out of me and it's getting harder and harder to go there and do the amount #of work that you know you're getting very underpaid for but you have no choice at the moment too so. 🥴🥴🥴 #i hate this job at this point i can not imagine how people work their whole life on one job they hate they are so strong in every way #meanwhile my mental health is crumbling each shift i take haah 🙃 #it wasn't good to begin with but my anxiety now is just a whole new level #i NEED to record on my phone the moment i lock the entry doors at the end of my shift #and i try to memorize the sound of the key turning in the keyhole as if video record isn't enough #i feel like my ocd is resurfacing badly i thought i had it more or less under control before i took the job #how wrong i was 😭😭😭 #i just want to snuggle in bed and not leave the house for at least a week or two just to revitalize my social battery and will to #interact with people irl 🤡 #okay one good moment tho there was a girl so beautiful today 🥺 that i couldn't keep it to myself and said to her how beautiful she was 🙈 #and she said i was too 😭 i legit felt so shy to look at her that pretty she was and she had a cool neck tattoo 😳🥺 #moments like these help me get through the day 😭 #tbd

[floral-hex]

I just want to get blasted, either out of my mind or into the sun, I’m not picky

#not me looking into the shitty guidelines for getting approved for medical marijuana in arkansas #yeeeaaaah looks like the process is ridiculously convoluted and pricey so nah #but missouri is just a few hours away so who knows #I hate weed for real. I mean it’s cool but I’ve had some bad experiences #but my anxiety is getting pretty rough and it would just be nice if I could turn my brains to mush every once in awhile #whenever my hearing gets bad I start freaking out and panicking and feeling sick. it suuuuuuucks. #anyway I have about 10 ‘emergency’ klonopin left which I don’t like taking bc I’m a hoarder and hate wasting stuff #like in video games when you stockpile potions but never use them #plus that shit can be addictive and I’m not a fan of that idea #tbh tho I diiiid take one earlier and I’ve been feeling preeeetty mellow #I ate two bowls of ice cream and I’m feeling good #I thought I had a drs appt coming soon to talk about anxiety meds but turns out it’s actually next month 🙄 so gonna reschedule that #anyway this was supposed to be a post about wanting to get blazed but I kinda whined all over these tags #whoops #uhhh…. how are you doing? #have you drank enough water today? for real #god I love ice water with a little lemon juice. I drink so much of that a day. it’s the best. #this isn’t important #if you read all of this then I love you #or at least like you. a little. a little bit. you’re good. I appreciate you. #ok I’m gonna go make coffee now #you can ignore this #text

[jackgoodfellow]

[WIP]

I need to make a Facebook post soon to update my friends and family on where I'm at in terms of my general wellbeing. I have been very isolated, and while I am getting better, I at least want my friends to know that I have ghosted them due to severe illness rather than a lack of love.

For motivation, I told myself i could make some art to go with it, but uhhh... I think maybe it is too scary for Facebook? 😅 But then again, it is both eye-catching and accurate, even if it doesn't incorporate the kind of righteous rage and feral joy I sometimes find in survival. But that's an art project for another day.

This was basically DIY art therapy. Maybe someday I'll post all the paintings I made when I was in art therapy in IOP! I have tried a lot of different therapies, and art therapy is in my top 3 "therapies that actually work on me." I hope those paintings haven't warped too much in storage...

#tomorrow I hope to share this incredible fan art I received but today this is all my brain was willing to do #i finally got my meds refilled. i was out for at least a week and this is the clearest my head has been in two horrible weeks. #this was a good day with less chronic pain and i am absolutely a little teensy bit manic bc i know this lucidity is likely transient #this piece was painted with acrylics on cheap paper then photographed and edited in clip studio on my phone #i am learning a lot about how to manage a cognitive disability but that doesn't mean i have to like it. i was in a fog for DAYS. #horror cw #if i finish this piece I'll post it again with proper alt-text #gods I'm so tired. but after doing this i feel... lighter. so that's very cool. #wip #this is a self portrait. I think it's pretty spot-on except for the fact that I'm probably the least scary looking person in the world XD #it's not that I CAN'T be intimidating it's just that I am a soft cute little guy on default mode. #which I'm fine with. I am friend-shaped. I can compliment women I don't know for having awesome shoes and nobody feels threatened.

[kazoologist]

I actually really fucking hate how anything in my schedule not going the way I initially Intended For It To just automatically makes me a massive fucking crybaby and or a raging bitch. Like dude. The grocery store does not hate me. It sucks that my schedule requires me to get there an hour earlier no matter what but like. They didn’t do that to me. Why am I always so upset whenever I have to change plans. I change plans too! I’m a living person!!! Why am I so fucking upset about this!!!!!!

#personal #im gonna delete this later I’m just venting #I’m also fine I’m just having a rough day and I can’t figure out why my emotions have been so fucking volatile. It’s so frustrating that #I can’t figure out how to get a handle on my emotions. I know I need to feel things but the problem is if I let myself feel them too much #Then I’m going to spiral or lash out at some random bystander and both of these make the initial feeling worse #I just can’t pull myself out of that quickly enough recently. It’s not an issue of ability bc I can. I just can’t do it. #wait that’s contradictory. I’ve been really struggling too recently. There we go. There’s accuracy. #Either way. Didn’t I spend all year in therapy last year trying to get this shit together? What the fuck. #Why is it the second I show a modicum of progress I immediately hit a single pebble on the road and get sent ass over teakettle #Progress isn’t linear but it also sure as hell isn’t meant to be a time loop. That I’m pretty sure of. #God everything’s just been so difficult this year. Shit that used to be almost instinctual to me now is a nightmare. #Maybe it’s growing pains and I guess that’s valid but how long do I have to have them #The good news is that thus far I have not snapped at anyone so at least right now we don’t have any casualties of my bad attitude #I feel so bad being so worried about that but like seriously no one needs me to be snapping at them. Even if I feel catharsis in the moment #We all feel bad immediately afterwards #It’s literally not even been a bad day today. I cannot emphasize how this has been the only problem today. Literally so much good happened #Ugh #dont look at me

[raeofgayshine]

Headaches are objectively awful for a lot of reasons, but the worst one is that the best way to cure them (or at least the bad ones I get) is to lay in a dark room for hours on end with literally nothing (maybe quiet white noise, as a treat) but of course my brain would rather die than do nothing and be quiet so I wind up just having to suffer and do things that make my headache actively worse until I either feel like crying from the pain or like throwing up in which case I then I have to stop and take a break and maybe sleep until it gets a little better, rinse and repeat until the headache goes away or I finally fall asleep for the whole night.

#ravenpuff rambles #by headaches I mean I’m pretty sure it’s a migraine and I have chronic migraines but #you know my brain hates claiming words without confirmation because what if people get angry #anyways having a headache is probably the worst thing for my adhd ass and there is a reason I just push through them so often #a lot of times they’re just headaches that if I don’t move my head or have too much light around I can minorly do things so I learn to deal #the shitty part is the fatigue without the ability to sleep that just kills my thought process #because I could write without looking at the screen but no forming words that require thought like that is hard #can’t even daydream when my head hurts enough because the pain is distracting #anyways guess who has a headache today I’ve just kind of been pushing through #i wish I could just take the time to relax but my brain says no #but you know I’m fine and there’s nothing going on with that Nope #anyways wish I could see a doctor to talk about my headaches among other things but #good fucking luck finding one that has a spot not four months from now that take insurance and also won’t be gone in a years time #i do not live in the best place for medical care that’s for certain #I’m lucky I got a dermatologist and it took me about four months to get an appointment with him #and that was with a recommendation from my doctor who has since left #at least I got those problems under control though one thing about me is semi stable and that’s my skin #i mean it’s a nightmare but at least I have treatments and names for what’s wrong

[cocklessboy]

The other day I told a friend of mine that I never forget to take my ADHD meds because I fucking love my ADHD meds. I'm in my late 30s, I didn't finally get a diagnosis and meds until less than two years ago, and they have changed my entire life.

And he raised his eyebrow at me. We'd been discussing addictive medications a few minutes before, like the Tramadol I finally got from the pain specialist to take once a week or so to give me a break from my chronic pain, so I reassured him that methylpenidate (Ritalin/Concerta) is not addictive (at least not in people with ADHD).

His response? To raise his eyebrow even harder and say "Well it sure SOUNDS like it's addictive!"

And I had to explain to this man - who works in a healthcare related job by the way - that just because medication makes you feel good and helps you, just because you look forward to taking it, that doesn't make it addictive or dangerous. And he wasn't convinced.

The simple fact that I was excited to take a daily pill that has literally changed my life, after decades of fighting to get that medication, made him think I shouldn't be taking it so often. That it must inherently be dangerous.

I'm not even in America, but I'm pretty sure this attitude began there and then spread over here to Europe. This Puritan idea of "if something feels good, you must beware of it. Pleasure is dangerous, it is sinful, it is addiction, it is evil."

I know too many people who subconsciously believe that pleasure = addictive = dangerous = bad. Joy is a slippery slope to hell.

So here is your reminder for today that you don't need to be afraid of feeling good. If something improves your life, use it. Even if it is addictive - learn what that addiction means, whether the addiction is inherently dangerous or not, and whether the benefits outweigh the drawbacks and risks.

My ADHD meds are, in fact, not addictive. But I will take them every day because they make my life orders of magnitude easier. I will enjoy them every time I take them.

My tramadol is addictive. I will still take it. I will keep it on a schedule to avoid becoming addicted, primarily because addiction in this case would mean reduced effectiveness. But I am not afraid of my painkillers. They are life changing.

Take your meds, everyone. Don't let anyone scare you away from doing something that improves your life.

#adhd #medication #ritalin #concerta #methylphenidate #addiction #puritan values #neurodivergence #actually adhd #take your meds