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#at least i go to therapy i guess
ven-ugh · 5 months
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I feel very bad and i don’t want to cry alone so here are some ttp crying Holly doodles
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itwoodbeprefect · 3 months
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some combination of @actingcamplibrarian's advent calendar fic (hidden in plain sight) and @redgoldblue's recent due south watch has got me thinking about starsky and hutch's hutch canonically not carrying the key to his own apartment but hiding it on top of the doorframe vs. due south's rayk in mountie on the bounty naming the whole bundle of keys he's carrying, telling fraser that the ones he's holding up are, in order, the keys to his old car, to his apartment, to his old apartment, to his locker, and "don't know. ... don't know", meaning that at any time he has at least six keys on him of which four are either obsolete or entirely a mystery, and that's while they were looking for a seventh key (to ray's handcuffs). i don't have a point here except i guess. the blond part of a buddy cop duo. he'll either carry zero keys (bad) or ALL the keys (also unfortunate).
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seagreenstardust · 3 months
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DAD MIGHT DAD MIGHT DAD MIGHT DAD MIGHT
Listen for all intents and purposes Izuku doesn’t have a dad and All Might stepping in and filling that role for him is so important to me, especially telling Izuku he’s proud of him. I think MHA is my favorite subversion of the Your Mentor Must Die trope because Toshinori decides he has to live because Izuku needs him and then he just does it. Like a boss. This is how you show up for a child!!!
And on the flip side Mitsuki Bakugo repeatedly hitting her son in front of his teachers?!! I don’t know how I never noticed that before but yeesh. I figured there was some verbal and emotional abuse from that scene but apparently I was never fully watching because yeah, she full-on hits her kid :/ and his dad just sits there and let’s it happen??!?
I am having FEELINGS about bkdk parents today I guess
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seariii · 3 months
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Hum...
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im-no-jedi · 1 year
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nah, but I’m sick of it. I’m sick of people holding Hunter to unrealistic standards. yes, he’s the leader and (most likely) the oldest of the group. but do any of you even realize what that means??
it means he already holds himself to unrealistic standards. and y’all continuing to bash and berate him for it is no different than an abusive parent would do to their child, seriously 🙄
he’s not perfect. he’s going to make mistakes. he’s a freaking human being, not some flawless god who can solve everyone’s problems. 
and for goodness sakes, stop saying he’s emotionless. just because someone doesn’t cry doesn’t mean they’re emotionless. not only does Hunter clearly show emotion many times throughout the series (especially in Plan 99), but he also tries to remain the stable one in emotional situations for the sake of others. he has to. it’s his job.
and the worst part? literally nobody is telling him to be that way. sure, he probably was taught some things while in military training. but I can tell you right now as the oldest sibling, that idea of being the “stable one” is something you create entirely of your own conscious. I’ve had to go through years of therapy in order to “unlock” my emotions and be more open with people. and I still struggle with it!!
ALSO. I’m sick of the double standard held between the characters. y’all are so willing to forgive Tech and Crosshair for acting the way that they do, but as soon as Hunter does something “wrong”, he’s labeled the worst of them all. why?? why is that?? is it really just because he’s the leader?? give me a break 🙄
we learned that Tech is the way that he is because of a mental disorder. amazing. wonderful. everybody liked that.
well then. is it really so hard to believe that maybe, just maybe, Tech isn’t the only one like that??
I’m not the first person to view the entire squad as ND, and I’m certainly not the last. many ND people have found solidarity in different members of the squad, sometimes all of them (myself included). someone on Twitter even wrote a fantastic thread about how the Batch is autistic (before Tech was confirmed so in the show btw!).
so yeah. need I say more? 
dislike the way a character acts all you want idc. but try and take a minute to actually think about why you don’t like it instead of just throwing out insults and slander unnecessarily. especially when most of it is blatant hypocrisy at best. I almost feel like it shouldn’t be allowed to hate on Hunter unless you’re willing to do the same for Tech and Crosshair. but what do I know? I’m just a ND oldest sibling of four with Gifted Kid Burnout who had to go to therapy for emotional issues 🤪
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John Sheppard gets about 2% sexier every season and I think part of it is the ever-increasing sadness in his eyes
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rivilu · 10 months
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Everyone's on about Miguel beefing with a 15 yo, which sure it's funny, but y'all are letting the Spot, "I now declare this child that MY INVENTION inflicted this anomalous occurrence on, my lifelong nemesis", the ULTIMATE beef haver, to go unchecked.
#spireverse spoilers#across the spiderverse spoilers#you know at least miguel has the excuse that 15yo or not Miles's actions might cause TWO whole dimensions to collapse#assuming both pavitr's and miles' own dimension have a similar population to ours#thats SIXTEEN BILLION LIVES at stake babes#yah like no i'd also be going kooky crazy in his shoes#ofc his handling of Miles' situation wasn't good but that's not. precisely his job? Breaking the news shouldve fallen on Peter and Gwen#yanno. his actual friends? but they skirted around the subject too much so woops it falls on Miguel now#the most emotionally unsuited for this task guy possible. woopsies.#get ready for the most projection filled fight of your life kid cause it sure is cheaper quicker and easier than therapy!#I jest and the projection part is true but tbh i think too many people in the tags are interpreting Miguel being antagonistic to the rest-#as him having personal beef with children instead of him focusing (too much) on the bigger picture. like..isnt that his entire personality?#the 'fate of the multiverse' guy? cmon now.#the main issue is that miles Does Have To TRY- that's part of the canon event in the first place#trying and failing. if his plan of keeping him trapped until jeff died had worked then his dimension would most likely also collapse#if anything the way things are set up rn is sooo interesting because miles IS precisely on the way to fulfill a canon event#the question is - are they going to play into that- or is there going to be a twist. Gwen's realization that Her dad could in fact Quit -#comes to mind#i for one would find it really funny if the plot of the next movie is trying to convince jeff to quit his job but i doubt it jxnsn#my guess is that since this is basically the variation of the trolley problem where the singular person on the tracks is one you care about#(but said person is simultaneously also on the 5 person rail because if they don't die everyone does)#and miles has decided to just go and stop the fucking trolley itself fnsjsj#the plot's gonna go a bit more all out . /Beyond/ the previous scope- if you will#the only sticking point i have with this movie in general though is pavitr sticking with the group like.#“obviously he would've stuck with miles- he wouldn't want the guy to die!”so you think he prefers the version of events where everyone does#his friends? his aunt - whatever family he has- his girlfriend? EVERYONE?#yeah like nah until he can solidly know that shits gonna be fine in his home world i don't think it makes sense for him to fuck around more#yanno?#not that I dont want to see more of him- on the contrary I fuckin love his design to bits#just saying if miguel drops the bomb that his universe collapsed and my guy switches sides i would not be surprised
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katyspersonal · 3 months
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It is only first month of 2024, and I've already lost not one but two subjects of nightmares, paranoia and reoccurring emotional torture. I really wish there was another way to get rid of these besides having extremely painful conversations.. but at least these scars are closing, one by one
#/vent#personal#and this time was like.. opposite of the previous one#previous one absolutely wrecked me with very ugly insight and basically made all puzzle pieces fall together#this one was just pain and crying and having my worst suspicions about other person AND self faced and confirmed#but again it got solved#I really want the power to move on without having a closure.#I hope I will be strong enough for it one day.#I just need to think..#I think I really should avoid other depressed/traumatised people until something can be done with how I react at perceived threats#(which is eternity because hell I know when I will be able to afford therapy. probably never with how my life situation is going)#as jarring as being close only with 'healthy' people would be I just can't make things worse for both me and them#until I can change my default response from aggression into avoidance I'll just stay away from anyone with depression#I say very terrible things when I feel threatened and it is way too easy to make me feel threatened. it is THE easiest thing in the world.#I won't survive without close friends anyhow but there is category of people that can't recover from these words normally#I mean I am ALSO this 'category'. I also hurt from awful words thrown at me for MONTHS don't I#it is very hard to be aware of my glaring flaws when everyone that points them out is outright malicious and wants me bullied off the Earth#and then everyone who does think I deserve my human rights either doesn't see my flaws or doesn't mention them#so at least discussing it without outright intention to harm me was helpful for a change#maybe one day I'll have a friend that can be open if I've hurt them a lot so I can work on it but that's another story I guess
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farminglesbian · 9 months
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thanks for the kind words everyone ❤💔
i'm still so upset about this.... wish me luck, gotta get up n to work now.
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I realize that to others, having recurrent suicidal thoughts and other violent intrusive thoughts, having several coping mechanisms that are in some way or another self-harm and dangerous habits, having difficult to control memory flashbacks out of the blue that ruin your entire mood and bring you down, and having a generally almost constant level of demotivation and negativeness, derealization and depersonalization, and sheer panicked internal anxiety and paranoia that can go overboard at any second, are not normal. But like, that's been most of my life since I was 13ish, very few times I have not felt this way. I've just learned to carry on and not talk too much about it, because it scandalizes people to hear that sort of stuff, and that means they turn against you and abandon you, because they think I am either too much to handle or am acting out too much.
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cutie--q · 1 year
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pinky in the trailer: we can’t just do the same thing every time! after two whole seasons, the fans deserve something fresh. sorta like…
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(me in full clown attire) please be a psychological exploration segment, please be a psychological exploration segment, please be
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thehightiefling · 1 month
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🫠
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xamaxenta · 1 year
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Trying to remind myself its ok to survive day by day or that my goal is to not associate my worth with some kind of progress
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todayisafridaynight · 11 months
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YEAH........... YEAH..... LIKEWISE, NO NOTES AT ALL, THAT'S EXACTLY IT... Main antagonist deaths are often treated as "comeuppance," but that would be the ultimate comeuppance for Aoki. As it stands, the only people who actually suffer for it are Ichiban and Jo, and Ichi didn't even do anything wrong. Also please I'm positive there's more to wring out of Aoki and Jo for an essay 😭😭at the very least, I always love to hear your perspective!
"he'd made a social circle for himself where people predominantly liked him for the power and influence" <- incredibly Mine-core of Aoki btw (I also feel the rest applies a little in terms of Mine probably being very quick to write off people who Do care about him as not caring about him, as with Katase, but it's nowhere near the extent of the Arakawas)
Wait actually it's kind of funny... for both Mine and Aoki, I was so sure their endings would go a certain way. Mine and Kiryu'd fight Richardson off together and Ichi'd, I don't know, shield Aoki or hug him so Kume couldn't get to him in the first place, or after that INSANE direct parallel to Arakawa running to the hospital with Masato, he'd miraculously pull through like he did on New Year's. Tormented with visions of the better timeline... With Aoki in particular, it makes me want to tear my hair out because the moment of him choosing to put the gun in the locker was REVOLUTIONARY for the series, looking at the characters he was most heavily based on.
Anyway. Bottom line. These bitches need to hug it out. It was so evil Arakawa didn't hug Ichi at Omi HQ or on the waterfront like bro stop being """manly""" for five seconds you're ruining my life you're ruining your own lives
There'd genuinely be nothing more painful yet more satisfying for an antagonist than being confronted with the consequences of their actions and having to navigate life after having making those decisions, ESPECIALLY when it comes to mending the bonds that- for anyone else- would have shattered long ago. With Aoki being motivated by the want to be loved and appreciated for himself, it would've been nice to see him finally acknowledge that he did have that love and start to better himself as a result (however much he'd be able to while in prison anyway lmao).
The Mine and Aoki comparisons are so real though, I remember joking to myself about it days after beating the game but it just fuels my mental illness every time I think about it ☠️ I LEGALLY AM NOT ALLOWED TO GO OFF ABOUT THE Y7 ENDING I'VE DONE IT TOO MUCH it makes me so mad every time I think about it 😭 ESPECIALLY THE PARALLELS WITH ARAKAWA AND THE LOCKERS UGGGHHH IT COULD HAVE BEEN SUCH AN EPIC CONCLUSION WITH THAT... Arakawa running from the lockers at the start of Aoki's life compared to Ichiban running from the lockers and getting Aoki to the hospital so Aoki can restart life I'm Going To Kill Someone (myself) (in Minecraft)
#snap chats#theres a note here about aoki's self hatred and ergo his inability to believe people could love him without 'worth'#and some kind of. I Dont Know occurs that comes with aoki accepting that love and ergo At Least Tolerating himself#and again becoming better as a person as a result. not WHOLLY you cant undo Everything Wrong With Him with one therapy session#but itd at least be a start and thats far more than anything else rgg has given since like. ryuji in dead souls#but w/e i- as per usual- have the vocabulary of a walrus so we're just gonna have to imagine i said something profound#AND THE LACK OF HUGGING IN THIS FRANCHISE IM GOING TO STAB ALL OF YOU. IN MINECRAFT.#with the power of delusions and this like seven-year-old wacom tablet i can fix that......#it'll never be enough it'll never fill the void in my soul but it'll be something i guess#BUT UGH NO SORRY IM JUST MAD NOW#nothing in my life has ever genuinely triggered anger in me than the y7 ending its just soooooooOOOOO#IT WAS SOOO CLOSE TO BEING PERFECT I CANT#im going to give myself a blood clot thinking about it anymore i feel my heart stopping Do Not Call An Ambulance I Cannot Afford It#so to stop myself from going in any more debt than i already am..... the possibility of any essays from me are very small#my ability to use words is near non existent. i feel like a right ninny sometimes#in any case im not sure what else i could expand on that isn't restating what you've said#cant ever be upset with bein on the same wavelength tho it gives my inarticulate ass a helluva easier time trying to explain LMAO#plus im petrified of trying to interpret anything from the english dub or english subs#and looking into language use is Very Much important when dissecting abusive relationships#i guess there's always just talking about general actions committed and not inspecting the exact words used#idk.. at the very least ill rotate the concept in my head and then fend off the urge to eat my teeth#i'm gonna throw up.... im still thinking of it........ gonna make an unrelated-but-arguably-related post in like three seconds#dont look at it its cringe
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allthecastlesonclouds · 4 months
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castles pls ramble about your wips /is there anything you're working on and/or excited to share????
omgggg yes i have been STRUGGLING this past two weeks because i. uh. sprained my right wrist (my dominant hand) and doing Anything At All hurts so i have SO MANY thoughts in my head and nothing's going to come out of it until i'm healed
fight or flight has been a really interesting fic for me to write specifically bc i. didn't grow up religious? my mom's atheist and my dad's catholic and i've never gone to church, but religion is really interesting to me, and the topic of fate and God is really intriguing. i like looking into faith and fate and learning about the different ways people see things, and i wanted to write a fic that felt. A Lot. like my dad's Catholic Childhood ExperienceTM and where he and his siblings are now in life, since all of them fell to different religions different ways and still keep in contact. i also wanted to touch on suburban family relationships in general bc goddamn those are fucked up.
fight or flight was originally going to be a lot more Kristen Vs Mac and Donna– the document title's still a pun based on that– but the more i thought about it the little it fit with her character: as much as kristen is bold, she's much more of a say something and run character– she doesn't quite know what'll happen after she says anything, does she? and she doesn't think before she speaks, so if anything goes wrong, she's likely to flee.
i've also started revamping my Coffe AU! it was, essentially, a modern coffeeshop au where different characters were in slightly different scenarios and the bad kids didn't quite become a friendgroup until after college, where adaine and ayda ran a coffee shop and the sig figs were Vibing and riz? worked five million jobs? and aelwyn actually gets therapy. the pacing of the fic was bad, though, and it was overall unrealistic, so i'm planning out a slightly different fic– they're all going to the same excessively large college, and keep meeting up at the coffee shop Ayda and Adaine run for said college. goldenhoard was the main villain in the first one; kalina was fully a housecat; cass didn't even EXIST because i wrote it before i got a dropout account and i only could watch up to ep3 of sophomore year! that's all changing, though; the gukgaks still have a cat named kalina but she Is Named After Someone
the "fic", if i ever get around to writing it, would be an actual longfic, written from one person's perspective, and a series of oneshots for a buncha other characters. the longfic was originally from adaine's perspective, but i might go fig this time around bc my girl adaine is Hard and i want the challenge of writing from the perspective of someone who isn't the Main Character of the story.
(also. coffe!aelwyn my beloved. she's trying so hard.)
i had a riz + mordred fic in the works, but since it seems mordred is going to be in jy a lot, that one's on hold until the season goes. i wanted to write it because the premise made me laugh: it was riz really sweetly bonding with different members of mordred and then him and zayn. awkwardly staring at each other as they realize their adaine's-best-friend title will never belong to either of them again and will forever be ayda's.
i wrote a drawtectives fic recently, which i know you're not in the fanbase for but i started a second one, from york's perspective, which cycles around rosé going back to college and york learning how The City is different and what family is to him (and also learning to cook bc grandma is the Only Competent One) AND i want to round out the trio, since the first was a rosé fic and this ones a york and so the third would be a grendan one, which is about getting york to his fashion shoots, i think? that one's a lot more up in the air, because. i want them to be Mostly Separate and so i want to see where york takes me.
and, in the drawtectives vein, i'm working on episode transcripts! pre-sprain, i could do 10 pages per hour, but now i'm down to 4-6, depending on the complexity. it's the only thing i don't struggle to do bc it's mostly writing names and correcting (or messing up) some grammar. i finished s1 on the... 18th? 19th? and i'm about 25 minutes into s2ep1 so. it's gonna take a while. but GOD i'm becoming a lore keeper for this. and also my vocal recognition for These Four People Specifically is. so good now. i can recognize their hums, it's insane.
and my friend (the most lovely and also basically inactive @mug-fullof-roses) and i are making plushies! just four drawtectives (the guys and also eugene), and we're still in the fabric buying but i think i'm going to try to find some good patterns over break because. clothing??? help??
and!! bringing it around again!! i've sketched out the dumbest comic for dance au bc something happened in my dance class that had me going "bad kids right here" the entire week. my hiphop teacher started playing that billie eilish song from the barbie movie, stared at the computer for a solid five seconds, then went 'sorry this isn't it' and tapped the computer once to change it to whatcha know bout me by nicki minaj. god. wild. love her dearly.
i have So Many Quotes from dance i might just make a danceau incorrect quotes post bc. we wild.
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tilting-at-windmills · 4 months
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