#at first I thought it was a word in malayalam so I was like oh what does senty mean

[miraeism]

calling anything that’s sentimental senty from now on

#shawna speaks and no one listens #my dad was watching something on his phone and he was looking so troubled so I asked what’s wrong #and he goes this short film is senty #at first I thought it was a word in malayalam so I was like oh what does senty mean #and he was like you know .... sentimental #i burst out laughing

[popsiclemania]

My 2020 in K dramas (+1 J drama)

I began watching k-dramas in 2018 but I’ve never watched as many shows, Korean or otherwise, as I have in this one. 2020 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I think what helps me really enjoy this over Bollywood+Malayalam+ American pop culture I grew up with is that a smirk on the wrong character’s face doesn’t make me seethe with rage and want to burn everything down. It’s not like growing up with SRK on screen and then having SRK wannabes leave you with lifelong trauma in reality. I can just move on. It’s removed enough from my everyday life but still familiar in a generic Asian family way. Does that make sense? It’s not perfect and it’s not free of its own harmful stereotypes and narratives, but there’s enough of the good stuff to make you stick around. This year I fell in love with Nana, Kim Hye Soo, Han Yeri, Park Eun bin, Ahn Eun jin, Kim Bum, Kim Yong ji, Flower Boy’s Go Dok Mi and Search:WWW’s Bae Tami. Cancelled Ji Chang wook (bye). Desperately missed Kim Jae Wook. Had thoughts on Hwang In Yeop, which were mostly heart eyes. Discovered J dramas and fell in love with Cherry Magic’s Adachi.

My year-in-review below:

LOVED

Into The Ring - I am so glad I saved this for a rainy day because it’s exactly the kind of upright citizen shenanigans my unemployed ass needed at the end of the year.

Goo Se Ra thinks the govt should work for the people but that doesn’t mean her own moral compass always points north. Her purpose is to make steady money, and I love seeing her go hard to survive and cobble together what she needs. The thing that really works for me is that she wants to be good, but she isn’t always. And you get to see her be disappointed, upset, embarrassed and hurt from being publicly kicked in the gut as she navigates a job where she appears, on the surface, to be a supremely confident, self-serving, accidental politician. What you see as her naiveté is mostly just her being a regular person in an environment dictated by backhand deals and rich people politics. She gets hit again and again, and you see what it does to her sense of worth to get back up again, how she grapples with her self. And through all this the show is funny?! Se Ra is what writers of manic pixie characters think they are doing and not doing at all. Love her friends, and Jang Hye-jin is *chef’s kiss*!

Hyena - Kim Hye Soo’s Jung Geum Ja is perhaps Se Ra’s older and darker contemporary.  Geum Ja is a survivor and will get what she wants and where she wants to, however many hells she has to cross. She’s single-minded about her success, ruthless and has no qualms about bending morals to get the outcome she needs. She’ll never compromise on who she is or justify how she lives, can build people up and also tear them down, but she also knows care and kindness.

I turned to Signal for more Kim Hye Soo but was disappointed in how the first few episodes seemed to shortchange her. May try again in 2021.

(Highly recommend @saltr0se​’s  fic series which just GETS Geum Ja so well. Fic writers are the best)

Search: WWW (Finished in 2020) - It took me half a year to finish this. I started watching Search in Oct 2019 and raced through the first 6 episodes because I couldn’t take my eyes off the rollercoaster of Bae Tami’s life. And then I had to take a break because it was a little too close to the frenetic pace of my own industry. As @drivingsideways wrote, a lot of Search is premised around ‘patriarchy? who dat?’, which is why watching its politics play out is so fascinating.  It’s also deliciously turmoil-y to watch a very clear-sighted, weathered Tami put on rose-tinted glasses for her romance and then frequently peer over them to evaluate whether it could actually meld into her life.

Catch The Ghost - Kim Seonho oozes charm and perhaps Startup was a showcase of how effectively he can be a typical male lead. But Catch is exactly not that. Go Jiseok and Yoo Ryeong have moulded their lives around to meet their most desperate wishes in life and in the process also left parts of themselves untended. There is guilt, pain and need. Now guess who will tend to whose wounds? Their dynamic is electric even when the central mystery flags towards the last few episodes of the show. I really hope Moon Geun Young is doing well and gets more amazing roles soon. She is so good here.

(Highly recommend @melonatures​‘s fic for putting that sizzling on-screen chemistry into words. HOW?!) Cherry Magic - Stories about painfully awkward people are my jam and Eiji Akaso gets Adachi’s shy, nervy energy so right. Cherry Magic is straight up just 12 hours of 🥺🥺🥺. 

Stranger/Secret Forest - I’ve been devouring the entirety of Agatha Christie’s work this year after Stranger reminded me how comforting murder mysteries can be. I love Bae Doona. I also love characters who don’t get social norms, not always because they are out to flout them but because that’s just not how their mind/brain works. (have to watch S2)

Flower Boy Next Door -  Honestly, the opening scene introducing Park Shin Hye’s character Go Deok Mi sold me on this immediately. An introverted, penny pinching copy editor living alone and working from home thanks to extreme social anxiety? Love. All the side characters are a lot of fun and I’ve never loved Kim Seulgi and Go Kyung Pyo more. It’s a warm show, slowly rounding off the sharp edges of every character.

JUST FUN

The Spies Who Loved Me -  It’s been a year of disappointing rom-coms and Spies kind of quietly turned it around for me. I want to be the fly on Yoo In Na’s wall as she figures how to play her characters. I’ve only seen her in 3 roles but somehow she always manages to be in character arcs that don’t short change her. Spies could’ve been and sometimes is the regular heterosexual fare, but In Na ups the ante over and over again, coming out on top as the smartest person in the room.

ENJOYED WITH *RESERVATIONS*

I have to watch A Piece Of Your Mind again because I don’t understand how Jung Hae In and Chae Soo bin built SO MUCH warmth and crackling chemistry with barely a kiss. I was iffy about how the whole AI thing started off and the tortured musician plotline (angsty male artists will forever be an eyeroll for me).

Park Min Young is a queen who never disappoints and When The Weather Is Nice is everything you want in a winter romance. My reservation was in how they explore so much of domestic abuse and the complex ways its traumatised the women in this family. I’m ok with the characters having imperfect ways of processing and understanding the violence, I welcome it. I’m not ok with the show dancing around whether the pivotal crime was justified/ self defence (it was).

A lot of dramas did this. I loved Han Yeri and Choo Ja Hyun in My Unfamiliar Family, I didn’t like the free pass the show gave their dad’s abusive character. 

Hwang Jung Eum’s comedy style is generally not my thing but she was pretty great in Mystic Pop-UP Bar. But I’m side-eyeing the sanctity surrounding motherhood. Maybe I should read more about babies and Korean folklore.

Hospital Playlist was my comfort watch through June and July. I think its wholesomeness and non-plot writing came at a good time for me. But I noticed then that the throughline for all main characters was moral superiority and hence what I then saw as *wholesomeness*. It’s kind of what makes it a grating rewatch in parts. Plus the real life of misogyny of Yoo Yeon Seok makes me want to push his angelic catholic character off a cliff. (For context, i was raised catholic). I want to continue loving Chae Song Hwa, and for that the showrunners need to stop cornering her with overbearing romantic interests (let that woman breathe! she literally ran away to another city!) 

Hospital is good at creating moments of comfort, so much so that I went to watch Reply 1988 after it, but had to drop it coz I couldn’t get into it. Maybe I’ll come back to it next year.

Once Again is what I call joint family propaganda. What it does well is lay bare the mechanics of living in a society that prizes the heterosexual family structure, the loops you have to jump through to hide when you break its rules and what happens when you are found out. I love the characters, their fights, their frustrations. I just don’t love the validation of joint families. (context: i grew up in an oppressive joint family lol). In my au, Nahee and Gyujin don’t get married again or immediately have children, but take the long route to figuring out how to love the person the other is. Gahee is openly dating Hyo shin and her parents have to figure out how to process her success and her romance. Young dal and Ok boon have to learn to stop dictating their children’s lives.  Joon sun runs his company from home, so his wife Hyun kyung can work on what she wants. Choyeon, Joori and Ga-yeon go back to being flamboyant AF and the market learns to not judge. Gyujin and Jaesok have to actually work on the relationship with their mother and what sent her into depression. Just a lot of learning involved.

Just Between Lovers was a nice watch, i just don’t get how Kang doo and Ha Moon So’s relationship will survive his constantly simmering anger. 

Crash Landing on You was so much fun until the main romance turned angsty, but it gave us North Korean soldier shenanigans and the epic romance of Seo Dan and Alberto Gu that we needed more of.

Tale of The Nine Tailed is probably what Goblin wished it was. I, however, will never be over Lee Rang. (Also, when can gods stop meeting their love interests as babies? Asking for my sanity)

I literally ignored everything in Oh My Ghost except Park Bo Young and Kim Seulgi and it was amazing. 

NOPE

Goblin, Dinner Mate, Oh My Baby and My Secret Romance were a whole lot of NO, NAHI, ILLAAA. 

I loved hate-watching The King:Eternal Monarch with the rest of k drama tumblr but someone please take away Kim Eun-sook’s access to gigantic budgets and all-star casts.

It was painful to watch Do You Like Brahms squander away its potential but I’m glad to be introduced to Park Eun bin. Age of Youth is next on watchlist.

More than Friends to me is only Ahn Eun jin. Someone give her amazing lead roles asap.

Why did Record of Youth do that to Park So Dam and her clothes? Just why

WANTED TO WATCH, BUT COULDN’T BECAUSE *INTENSE* 

World Of The Married, It’s Okay Not To Be Okay, Sweet Home, Extracurricular, Penthouse, Flower of Evil, Lie After Lie

WILL WATCH NEXT YEAR

SF8, Stove League, Birth Care Centre but I’ll start the new year with School Nurse Files coz it looks very good.

#long post #kdramas #review #2020 #A DECADE #Goo Sera’s and Yoo Ryeong’s are the kinds of stories I wish I’d watched through my late teens/early 20s #Jung Geum Ja and Bae Tami are who I’m taking into my thirties.

[srbachchan]

DAY 4414(i)

Jalsa, Mumbai                       Apr 7/8,  2020                   Tue/Wed 8:14 AM

Alright .. tempers cooled a bit though not entirely .. the Tumblr format has again changed and it is off putting .. but what .. an alternative is not available , so one endures .. 

Please find below the social media links for the film, you can retweet this link on twitter on Facebook and can share this link, however since the duration is longer you will have to upload the video natively on IGTV on Instagram.  Attached is a google drive link of the film from where you can download the video and then upload it on IGTV on Instagram.

Twitter- https://twitter.com/SonyTV/status/1247187306764619779 FB- https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=983267872088458

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/tv/B-pQ_7yFW7n/?igshid=i8f5n3jua5au

Google drive link with mp4 for IGTV

SO ... these be the links that were given to me by Sony PR and when displayed at various platforms gave the enthusiasm that was written about in the previous .. yes .. appreciation came in waves upon waves .. known and unknown alike .. connected and unconnected .. all .. from and without too .. pro and anti .. those in support and those in non support .. they that cooperated , and they that distanced themselves from support and the coop .. we are all mere beings .. the universe fills itself with so many .. many of difference and different kind .. when the grains on each leaf .. when the microscopic elements .. of virus shape size and disposition exist in natures creation .. what are humans .. ?

Blessed be all .. they all contributed .. contributed in applause and in reject .. reject is most important .. gives fight a chance .. without it fight would be an imbecile .. unarmed, weak and without prepare .. unpreparedness is a curse .. prepare .. keep ready for use .. it comes in use , anytime without warning .. so eń gardè  .. or whatever the correct French is  .. French , yes the beauty of its rendition .. the sweetest in the world .. next valued be Bengali , the tongue .. the delicacy of its existence, its presence in the many wondrous elements .. 

BUT .. I stray .. 

Yes the completion of the ‘film’ was a task .. a gentle idea shared by Prasoon Pandey, Director of Ad., films and with whom I had worked several times .. with him and his elder Piyush Pandey, head of that Ad., conglomerate O&M .. and when it came across to me , the thought of its extension in the format seen finally gave incentive to bring in greater value to it .. so I thought, I worked , I reacted, I shared , I got approval and then went to each of those stratospheric stars and celebrities with the idea .. calling them several times .. connecting them all .. all over the World all over the places they lived .. and then their agree .. the designing of the Demo by Prasoon .. the passing it on to the respective and in explanation , each one , each location .. convincing them .. and then the wait for their portion to arrive and putting it together .. the creatives all being followed up by the team .. each little protocol to be put in place .. diplomatically .. politically .. egoistically .. to be CORRECT and accepted .. yes .. all .. all done in this wonder world of internet wires and the mobility of the hand phone .. the modern day invention par excellence .. oh , done and covered with suitable time difference delays .. some within the time zone some not .. some really really far away .. but their love and support impeccable .. 

That done the negotiate with what to be done with it .. in times of trial it does not bode well to be seen in frivolous acts .. so consider who we are , how we are , and what we are .. and who they that make us who we are .. the workers and their plight in this locked out premise .. without a daily earning , without their normal existence , without the essentials .. 

We must give back to them .. so .. worked on sponsors TV outlets , personal contribution and arrived successfully .. TV shall be Sony .. sponsor shall be Kalyan Jewellers .. and the distribution shall be pan India , pan workers of all the Industries of film in the nation .. NSEW .. and which is why NSEW in the representation of the artists .. Hindi, Marathi, Malayalam, Kannad, Tamil, Telugu, Bengali, Punjabi .. pan India in representation .. pan India in language .. pan India in the work force .. just a pan India film .. a film titled ‘FAMILY’ .. for we are one and we are one family .. this film Industry of the country .. !!

NOW .. then .. as the tech readiness readies itself .. the promotion .. 

Promotion promotion .. back to the net and the con calls with concerned and with the GANG GANG .. gang gang .. the title given by the girls in house .. Navya Naveli and Shweta .. who find it amusing our confabulations on these con calls, hence an amusing title .. its accepted .. SO .. yes promo .. the written from the obvious sources ‘reeks of garlic from every pore’  .. it stinks .. and then a suggestion ans endeavour to do it by the self .. done and agreed upon after con calls and net issues with the masters .. no disrespect .. but yaa , it not happening people .. ok .. so do it yourself , fine .. sitting and designing it in the mind and WHAM ! .. got it .. now to shoot it in these conditions .. so Abhishek come on assist me with the camera work .. out in the back yard .. a quick shoot .. and a quick forwarding in sense first to all the concerned and then approval of it to be given final tech touches .. done .. 

So then put it out .. time running ot .. get the tech right .. net mobile and every other communication in use .. and done and out on the required platforms ..

BUT .. within all this, setting up the personal shoot of the film continues with able help again from the children .. re takes and re shoots .. and delivered to the tech team .. they work .. the ideas continue to improve or adjust or remove .. some have come in time others delayed , time running out again the 9Pm slot has been advertised .. 

FINALLY .. on air .. 

BUT .. and there are so many buts .. other works continue .. domestic pre cautionary checks on sanitation and sanitising .. staff reduced , staff homed within, staff looked after in excess .. 

.. and also the monitoring of the personal feeding that continues in various parts of the city .. 2000 packets of food each day .. lunch and dinner .. for the poor and needy .. and the bigger 3000 bags of essentials delivered to take care of 3000 families provisions for a month .. average of 4 per family works to the reach of approx 14,000 .. 

Working then for the FAMILY out reach and devising methodology of the distribution to the mentioned workers .. the data access with the Head of the Employees Nation wide Association .. retailer sought and fixed .. gift coupons and cash to be given out to the approx 100,000 of them, with the sponsor and personal fund collected .. to last them for month .. 

THEN .. back to the desk .. there is urgent need from the Capital on a campaign design and completion within urgent needs .. lat night getting that done .. 

AND .. also in simultaneous work on the poem of hope from Babu ji .. rendering it here .. con calls with recordist there .. music directors in another there .. they be two in respective homes and no studio set ups .. but the ingenious working force and minds successful .. it is after 72 attempts that it looks like going on platforms .. perhaps to day .. perhaps .. apprehensive for that too .. how what where and when .. ahhhh .. just let it be say the girls in the house .. the main girl stuck away from home in Delhi .. attending Parliament when the shut happened .. so she remain where she is .. and Face Time WhatsApp .. ZINDABAD !!

OH dear forgot .. another request for the voice rendition on the conditions we are in .. at it till 4 am .. and now from 6  .. rendered in rough waiting approval .. damn the files have not gone through .. WeTransfer warns .. damnnn .. 

Ok shall try resize and getting the email ID correct .. .. ahhahahahhhgggrr ..

this post is sounding like a brain damaged ‘haemoglobin of the country of the system’ devoured and entirely consumed by the chemical ChSo2 .. sorry that be a College insensitive linguaexpletiva .. !!!! Pardoń .. is the French right .. eh .. who cares .. 

BUT .. I tell you .. in all this mesmerising work schedule .. the imagery of Babuji his words his thoughts his books his voice keep me company in excess .. they bring the water in the eyes .. 

I must leave now .. cannot allow it to drip on the post pages ..

Amitabh Bachchan

[dabbhangra]

Arbor Vitae

Genre: Fantasy, adventure

Word count: 3002

Pairings: none (so far)

Chapter: 1/?

Summary:  The Teaching twelve men to control their superpowers and save the Earth at the same time? Nandini saw no problem in that. Now if only Baekhyun learnt to be less annoying...

A/N: There are some malayalam dialogues I’ve used here, the translations for which I’ve provided at the end of the fic. Also, this is my first fanfiction here, so please enjoy!

It was for simplicity’s sake, that Nandini Mohandas told anyone who asked that she hated Byun Baekhyun.

Because really, she didn’t hate him, per se. Baekhyun was a nice good-looking guy who didn’t have a mean bone in his body. Hell, the reason she had caved in and became an EXO-L was because of him, her first bias.

And it wasn’t like he was messing with her directly. She wasn’t one of the lucky ones who got to assist the band members on their tours or anything. The most she generally got to see of the idols were glimpses whenever she had to give stuff to their managers, or when they were leaving for their concerts. And getting yourself noticed was straight up a scenario from a reader insert fanfic.

No, Baekhyun by himself wasn’t the problem. Baekhyun’s stupid debut concept, on the other hand, was the source of all her frustration, something she couldn’t explain to her normal friends without sounding like a crackhead.

(After all, telling people that the Earth was being controlled by something called the Tree of Life and that twelve idols were currently running around with superpowers worked best if you were describing a fantasy novel, not if you were telling others your Tragic Backstory TM.)

Nandini didn’t hate him. That didn’t mean that she didn’t feel like pulling her hair out whenever she was around him.

Like right now. She had to submit some files to one of their managers, on behalf of a co-worker who had called in sick. Things had gone well until she reached the office, when her phone started ringing.

She yelped when MAMA started playing out of nowhere and fumbled with her phone, her face heating up. She dismissed the call right as Chen began to sing, feeling even more embarrassed when she saw an adjacent practice room with its door open. And she had heard voices coming from it earlier.

“I’m sorry!” She called out nervously to the now quiet room as she shoved her phone back into her pocket. Please don’t be EXO, please don’t be EXO-

“Do you have a habit of stalking all your non-biases, or is it just me?”

SON OF A BITCH, YOU’RE HERE?!

Baekhyun slid into view, a shit eating grin on his face. “It seems we keep running into each other, stalker-ssi. Can you blame this on fate again?”

“Fortunately, I can,” Nandini grit her teeth, “Your manager asked me to submit these files to him, and I came here to do my job. Perhaps you’re the one who’s stalking me, hmm? Baekhyun-ssi?”

His grin grew wider. “Ah, but I’m doing my job here too! My band members and I need to discuss with our manager important things as well! Plus, I’m not the one who stalked you. Twice, if I may add.”

“Objection,” She said, “Stalking implies intent to harm or harass. I followed you, and that too only once.”

“So, our second meeting was just a series of coincidences, you say? We shopped at the exact same store, we had coffee in the exact same café, we were watching the exact same movie rerun-”

“Kimi No Na Wa is not a movie, it’s a religion, so excuse you-”

“And after all that noise you made, you still say I’m not your bias-”

“Thendi, you’re not even my bias wrecker, so stop day dreaming.”

Baekhyun snickered. “You keep following me everywhere, and yet you say I’m not your wrecker? Please, stalker-ssi, let me see a change in your behaviour, or admit that you stan me the most.”

Delaying her task further was increasing her chances of getting fired, and Nandini had no desire to achieve that. Meanwhile, some of the other members were peeping through the door curiously. “Move it, Baekhyun-ssi, I need to submit these documents now.”

“I’ll let you go if you come back and admit that I’m your bias.”

“Like hell!” She snarled.

“Time’s ticking, stalker-ssi~” Baekhyun practically sang in an annoying manner.

The things I do for money… “Fine I’ll do that, now let me go!” She groaned and raced to the door the moment he stepped aside. As she closed the door, she heard the boys laugh loudly as Baekhyun began rapidly speaking to them. The manager was talking to someone on the phone, so she waited.

And then she felt it again. She closed her eyes and concentrated. Sure enough, she clearly felt an energy spike coming from behind her. If she were to visualize it, she would see a bright white light nestled within the life force of the person emitting it.

Does he even know what he’s doing? Nandini winced as she felt it fluctuate and recede. As far as she could remember, none of the previous hosts had experienced this problem. She’d once read about a host who had tried to break the seal suppressing his power. That had ended with the host going mad and his power going out of control. As a child, it had been drilled into her head to never attempt to do away with magic you have no control over.

Well, it’s not like they’re ever going to believe that the tree of life is an actual thing, is it? And considering the situation, it’s best that they remain ignorant. Although… Her eye twitched when she heard Baekhyun perform an extremely vocal impression of their first meeting, I wouldn’t mind risking insanity if it means I find a more tolerable host…

A few months ago, Nandini had been making an impromptu trip to the bakery when she first felt the spike. It had flared so violently and suddenly that she’d nearly dropped her bagel and successfully spilt her coffee in alarm. After a brief lament over her loss, she had rushed outside to track the energy which was starting to fade.

The source of the spike turned out to be a tall man in a mask and a beanie, who she followed surreptitiously. The man had appeared aimless, and walked for a long time, traversing between crowded streets and finally moved into a secluded street, much to her relief. When she followed, she was immediately backed into a wall by the mystery man, who revealed himself to be none other than Byun Baekhyun.

Her face heated up as she remembered Baekhyun calling her a stalker – an accusation she vehemently denied – which lead to one of the most ridiculous arguments she had ever gotten into. Really, what was she supposed to say to a guy who was more offended at not being her bias than her supposedly stalking him?

“Nandini-ssi?” Her senior’s voice snapped her out of her reverie, making her straighten up.

…

The manager hummed as he set the file down. “Thank you, Nandini-ssi. You may go now.” She nodded and turned to leave.

Okay, maybe he’s forgotten I’m here? She thought as she tentatively closed the door. There was no one in the hallway aside from her. Good. Now I just have to leave quietly without being-

“Oh stalker-ssi!”

Ninakke vera pani ille myre?!

She remained perfectly still as she felt the weight of six stares upon her. Baekhyun bounded up to her gleefully.

“Well?” He said expectantly.

“Well what?” She grit her teeth, feeling slightly nauseous.

“Didn’t you agree that you’d admit something?” He said, “I believe it was something along the lines of “Baekhyun-ssi is my bias”, right?”

“Is it?” She grimaced, “I suppose I can’t back out of this now?”

“I have five witnesses, stalker-ssi~.”

“Poyi chavada myre.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing…” She took a deep breath, trying to ignore the nauseous feeling that was steadily building up. “Fine then…I hereby declare you my bias by coerc-” She began, and then collapsed onto him with a gasp.

At that precise moment the temperature rapidly dropped, and she felt a powerful energy surge come from the five men.

“Whoa,” Baekhyun said, no longer sounding amused as he tried to steady her, “Are you alright?”

“No!” She shouted as she sprang back, trying to calm herself. She looked at the men behind him and locked eyes with Xiumin, who looked both concerned and utterly bewildered.

Another one?! Another defective seal?! What the fuck?! And – hold on, is that frost underneath his feet?!

This was all too much for her. Mumbling something about the flu, she turned and ran to the elevator, ignoring the men calling after her.

…

Back in the comforts of her home, Nandini stared at the cloak on her bed.

It was plain black, with yellow lining and a hood. Sewn on the inside was the image of a four-pointed star, signifying her as a user of light. A smile appeared on her face as she remembered her days as a trainee, struggling with maintaining the light she channelled from her hands.

Like all the others, her parents had taken her to the tree of life when she was ten years old, to determine her affinity for the twelve forces. She remembered how her older sister and cousin brother kept teasing her about it, insisting that there was an obstacle test she had to take and how she had cried when they told her she’d be banished if she failed.

The relief that she felt when she was told that the test merely involved drinking some sort of potion knew no bounds. Well, at least until they told her she had to be injected with something to stabilize her. That had set off a fresh round of waterworks, and her parents had to coax her with promises of soan papdi and ice cream to calm her down.

The injection had hurt, and the symbol on her back had burned. Though it was all worth it to her ten-year-old self, who kept taunting her sister about how she had such a cool power and “Edthi your healing power is so lame! See, that’s what you get for lying to me! Amma, don’t give her any ice cream!”

“Amma, sharing is caring, don’t listen to her!”

“Mindathe irunillachal randu aalkum ice cream kittila, ketto?!”

She caught herself smiling when she glanced at her mirror. Those were the best moments in her life, back when controlling her powers was the most troublesome part of her life and they were all one happy family. Then she remembered her fight with her mother, and her smile faded.

It was no secret to any of her colleagues that Nandini was not close to her family. Part of the reason why she had moved to South Korea was because of her family and her ex. She could clearly remember the day she had stormed out of the house, with her mom screaming at her for being such a terrible daughter and how ashamed she was to be her mother from behind. Her sister and father had tried to reason with them that day, unsuccessfully.

If I can make sure the seals have been bound properly, then Baekhyun and Xiumin won’t be in danger of hurting themselves for the time being. I’ll have to check up on the others as well, just to be sure. There’s got to be at least one mage here that knows their way around seals, right?

She sighed, freeing her hair from its ponytail. Her long curly hair flowed downwards where it ended midback. Her big brown eyes looked dull, and the dark circles under her eyes were more prominent. I need a bath…

The frantic banging on her door suddenly snapped her out of her stupor. She quickly grabbed the cloak and shoved it into her wardrobe. The temperature around her dropped drastically, frost forming on the wood.

She carefully approached the living room, the faintest glimmer of light forming at her fingertips. The banging had not stopped, and she could sense a cold aura behind the door. They’d sent an ice mage after her, and only one at that. She grabbed the door knob with one hand, light forming in the other and pulled it open, preparing to strike.

One hundred and sixteen lbs of Xiumin stumbled onto her and they collapsed spectacularly on the floor.

“What the-get off me!” She shrieked and pushed him off. A part of her was relieved that the cult hadn’t tried to kill her, but her alarm was increasing at the ice forming on her carpet. “And get off my floor, you’re turning my apartment into an ice block!”

“You-” Xiumin said as he got up, his expression frantic. He hugged himself, staring at the ice in horror before looking at her, “What’s happening to me? Everything was normal this morning, I swear!”

He clutched his clothes as if they were his life line. “It was all fine until you and Baekhyun-ah had your stupid lovers’ spat, everything was perfectly normal! Then I touch my coffee and it becomes one big coffee ice cube! And then everything starts freezing and Junmyeon-ah somehow lifts all the water in our bottles-”

What?!

“-and then Baekhyun-ah just lights up like a star and Jongdae-ah causes a power shortage and no one has any fucking clue-”

Nandini just stared at him. Xiumin could have been screaming into a speaker for all he cared, and it would have still registered as white noise. His shirt was tugged to the side, exposing a good amount of his shoulder and the mark on it, a bright blue snowflake that proudly stood out against his skin.

The seal had completely broken.

“Stalker! Stalker! Stalker!” Nandini was rudely jerked back to earth when a hysterical Xiumin grabbed her by her shoulders and shook her. Instinctively she raised her hands, and a beam of light sent him flying backwards onto her door.

“FUCK!” She shrieked and ran to help him up. He appeared more shocked than hurt, if the rise in temperature was any indication. He gaped at her for a second or two, and then fainted.

“Good grief, you’re, ugh, heavy,” Nandini groaned as she slung his arm around her neck and tried to lift him up. She somehow dragged him over to the couch and laid him there before getting a glass of water from the kitchen.

She sprinkled some water on his face, making him groan.

“Stalker…?” He muttered weakly. Her eye twitched.

“Is saying ‘Nandini’ really that hard for you Koreans?” She said incredulously, trying to keep the irritation from showing on her face. “Don’t exert yourself,” She said when he tried to get up, “You’ve clearly had a rough day, and what I’m about to tell you will either make you faint or have you call me crazy.”

“Is it?” Xiumin looked wary. “I froze our office and my car today and saw Junmyeon-ah basically water-bend. How much crazier can it get?”

“Alright…” Nandini said, taking a deep breath. “Let’s see… Xiumin-ssi, tell me exactly what each member did. You said Suho was controlling the water?”

Xiumin nodded tentatively. “Junmyeon-ah made the water float without him even trying. When we saw what happened, Chanyeol-ah’s hand caught on fire. When I grabbed my coffee, it frosted over and became an ice block. Then Jongdae-ah did something that caused all the electricity to go out, and Baekhyun-ah literally lit up when he said he’d bring a flashlight.”

Ente bhagavane… She rubbed her temple with a groan. I’ll have to soften the blow. Maybe… “Xiumin-ssi…do you remember your debut song?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” He asked bemusedly.

“Do you or do you not remember?”

“Kind of…yeah, I remember MAMA.”

“And you remember the concept?”

“Not really…?”

Boy, this may take a while. “Well…the MAMA MV was based on supernatural powers-”

His eyes widened. “Oh, I remember now! Something about the tree of life and legends splitting into twelve powers and the red force of evil-”

“That’s the first time I’ve ever heard the darkness being called that.” She muttered wryly.

“-and we had to do that English chant while wearing those cloaks, “Careless, careless, shoot anonymous’-”

“Hang on, you remember that stupid chant, but you don’t remember the cult concept?”

“-and we all had supernatural abilities which we used for the Power MV, which you could have used as a better example because I clearly remember that one more than MAMA, by the way.”

“Did you forget Power doesn’t have any of your Chinese members, genius?”

“And what do they have to do with any of this?” He asked incredulously, “Yixing-ah, I understand, but the other three left us.”

She ignored the pang she felt at the slight bitterness in the tone. “That, we’ll come to in a bit…so you remember your assigned powers?”

Xiumin looked bewildered. “You can just use google, you know…”

“I’m doing this for all twelve of you, marshmallow, work with me!”

“Marshmallow?” Xiumin bit his lip in amusement, which Nandini pointedly ignored, “Damn it stalker, how can someone so talented come up with insults so childish?”

“That’s not the point!” Nandini swatted her hand at him irritably. He dodged it with a laugh, a definitely non-endearing, adorable laugh.

“Then, what is the point, stalker?” He grinned at her, “You’ve been beating around the bush so long, I can’t make head or tail of what you’re telling me!”

“Oh, this is definitely going to take a while…”

…

We’ve apprehended Huang Zitao.

“Excellent.” The woman in the black cloak spoke, staring at the apartment window. “And Lu Han?”

He’s putting up a bit of a fight. He’s figured out how to use his powers, but he’s untrained. We can handle it.

“Good.” She murmured and turned to her companion, a burly man wearing the same cloak as her. “Is this where she lives?”

The man nodded. “I saw a man barge into her apartment some time earlier. She said he was freaking out and freezing everything that he touched.”

“It must be Xiumin for sure.” She said quietly. “None of our ice mages are untrained, and the children have not reached that stage yet. Let us proceed.”

A/N: 

“Ninakke vera pani ille myre” = don’t you have any other work to do, ‘myre’ means pubic hair (obviously a swear word)

“Poyi chavada thendi” go die bastard

“Mindathe irunillachal randu aalkum ice cream kittila, ketto?!” = if you don’t keep quiet the both of you won’t get any ice cream, got it?!

Amma is the malayalam word for mother

“Ente Bhagavane” = Oh my God

#exo #exo fanfiction #exo ot12 #kim minseok #xiumin #kim junmyeon #suho #zhang yixing #lay #kim jongdae #chen #park chanyeol #chanyeol #byun baekhyun #baekhyun #do kyungsoo #d.o #kim jongin #kai #oh sehun #sehun

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 29.08.17 lb

plain text version here. 

lo shuru sanskaari music. 🙄🙄🙄

never getting over the “fuck me” bedroom eyes they’re giving each other. 😏😏😏

gauri feeding shaktiiii cake. gosh, what even do you call it when you start shipping a new parental figure for a character? there are no words in fandom culture for all the dynamics this show makes me ship!!!! 😫😫😫

... such unnecessary tension. just eat the damn cake, omkara. 😒😒😒

shivika giving each other “kuch karnaaa padegaaaa” looks 🙃🙃🙃

yes plz, turn for you to play shipper now. yell at omkara alternately till he fucking fixes this ish. 😒😒😒

shaktiji is practically glowing from all the #shivika shipping. happiness is a good look on him. 😊😊😊

who’da thunk that i’d eventually be rooting for shakti as the good parent? in any case, he did less damage than pinky, so there’s that. 😕😕😕

god i hate this stupid “abhi tak shaadi nahi hui hai, toh door raho” nonsense in remarriage tracks. they were living together for more than six months. they could have been having crazy monkey sex in that time for all you know. bloody nonsense. 😑😑😑

i am happy that anika looks just as dismayed as shivaay at this development. 😌😌😌

LMAO RUDRA, HAATH KO AAYA PAR MOOH NA LAGA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

the dubbing of this damn scene... 😐😐😐

ohhhhhhhh great. pinky’s here to fuck up the happy. 😒😒😒

omkara’s instant bitch face. love itttttttt. 😆😆😆

nope. shakti is firmly #teamShivika. SHAKTIJI OUT!!!!!!!!! 😙😙😙

i think omki took that “8 baje kamre ka darwaaza bandh” instruction from rudra a little too seriously. he looks mad at shivaay for making him leave this late at night. 😋😋😋

honestly #me. don’t you make me leave my bed/room after 8 pm. you won’t like my grumpy ass. 😒😒😒

OMG YES THEY BROUGHT UP THE “ROTE HUE AAYEGA MERE PAAS” DIALOGUE!!! WE’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR ITTTTTTTT 😭😭😭😭

omki’s excitement and glee at shivaay’s happiness. oh my heart. my boys. my beautiful boysssssss. 😭😭😭

4 LIONS MEN GOING FROM GROWLY ASSHOLES TO SOFT PUSSYCATS WHO ARE SO HAPPY TO BE IN LOVE IS MY ULTIMATE FAVE THING EVER OK *weeps* 😭😭😭😭😭

saansein ruk jaati hai was anika’s thing. and di’s thing to arnav. not omki’s to shivaay’s. 😕😕😕

I LOVE HOW SHIVAAY MADE OM COME SEE HIM IN THE DEAD OF THE NIGHT JUST SO HE CAN GEEK OUT ABOUT BEING IN LOVE AND HOW BEAUTIFUL HIS GIRL IS 😚😚😚😚

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY BOYSSSSSSSSSSSSS 😭😭😭😭

“sabse pehle main tujhse bataane aa gaya” BECAUSE HE’S YOUR PERSONNNNNNN. 💖💖💖

awwww man, i’m just so happy and weepy from all the feeelz. 😭😭😭😭

lol omki yelling at him for telling HIM first instead of anika. 😊😊😊

“i think i need a hug. i think we both need a hug.”

HAWWWWWWWW WITHOUT RUDRA?????? 😯😯😯

THIS HUG THO. MY BOYS. MY BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL BOYS. OMKI SO HAPPY, HE’S A BLURRRRRRRR. 😅😅😅

“subah subah shivaay singh oberoi pakode tal raha hai?”

a sentence i never thought i’d hear. also, probably a real headline in the newspapers of this show’s universe, knowing the press and the way they act in this show. 😒😒😒

ANIKA AGREES WITH ME ABOUT THE NEWS THING 😧😧😧

anika’s about to lose it at him for using the wrong type of oil. 😆😆😆

(god, she’s so me, it hurts. i too am very specific about shit like this. 😕😕😕) 

“aap na bohutttttttt cute ho.”

not in that ugly ass shirt and white jeetendra pants from the 80′s he’s not. 🙄🙄🙄

ALSO, NO YOU!!!!!!!!!! GOD MY GIRL LOOKS SOOOOOOOOO GOOD TODAY. 😍😍😍😍

billu hates being called “cute”. he wants to be called “HOT”, does he? 😏😏😏

OMG HE DOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😯😯😯😂😂😂

lol his innocent “haan dadi????? 😇😇😇”

snort. idiot. he’s doing ONE ARM DISTANCE like we used to do in schoooooool, for assemblies. 🤣🤣🤣

wait, so they’re still in the same room at night? so, what does this “do foot” nonsense even matter??????? 😑😑😑

“DADI KO MAT BOL!!!!!!!!!!!!”  “DO FOOT, MY FOOT!”

oh billu. you’re incorrigible. 😝😝😝

also, um hello, YOUR PAKODE?!!?!?! 😯😯😯😯

incoming takaraaana in 3... 2... 1.... 

EEEEEEEEE HE PULLED HER IN CLOSER EEEEEEEEEEE 😍😍😍

ohhhhhh you twoooooo awkward babiesssss. 😌😌😌

YES, SHIVIKA SHIPPING RIKARA!!!!!!!! 😁😁😁

anika helpfully informing shivaay of gauri’s “atrangi ideas” 😊😊😊

anika’s excited squeals oh my hearttttttt what a fucking cutie!!! 💖💖💖

“ab jab hum nahi lad rahein, toh jo humari jagah khaali hai kisi ko toh bharni padegi.”

this damn family thrives on conflict and chaos. check yourselves before you wreck yourselves, idiots. 😐😐😐😐

YAS, MISSION RIKARA IS A-GO!!!!!!!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

what the fuck is a “shaadi ka bowl”? 🤔🤔🤔

what’s this 90′s bollywood type theme music. 😒😒😒

pfffffffft rudra. you’re soooooo lame. 🙄🙄🙄

HA! i like how she gave it back to him! “public police ko nahi bachaati. police public ko bachaati hai.” 😎😎😎

ok romance is getting tooo icky with the staring. also i haaate their music. fwding. 🙄🙄🙄

gauri approves of shivaay’s olive oil waale pakode. at least someone does. 😋😋😋

meanwhile anika here is working on om. yaaaaaas, i am loving this division of labour. MY BROTPSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! 😘😘😘

shivaay feeding gauri pakode apne haath se. LIKE HE DOES HIS BABY BOY RUDRA. i am actually fucking crying. 😭😭😭😭😭

oh boy anika omki ko faraq ka jaap pada rahi hai. 😐😐😐

OMG SHIVAAY BAAT BANA RAHE HO YA BIGAAD RAHE HO 😯😯😯

but fully loving how he’s trash talking his own brother for bulbullllllllllllll behnaaaaaaa 😚😚😚

OH MY GOD SHE’S SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEE WHAT EVEN IS HER FAAAAAACE 😍😍😍

meanwhile anika toh is going to town on omki with reverse psychology. behen, sambhaal ke. bante bante baat ke upar apni bulldozer mat chalaiyo. 😣😣😣

OMFG HIS FACE AT “DER HO CHUKI HAI” AND “MOVE ON”. YES!!!!!!!! 🙃🙃🙃

“ab gauri ko main pasand nahi hoon???? 😟😟😟” 

THE FEAR. I AM LOVING IT. I AM LOVINGGGGG ITTTTT. 😆😆😆

“agar woh tumhare paas aaye toh mooh pher lo. pher lena!!!! achcha ab yahaan phero, sun toh lo.” 

omfg shivaaaaaaaay. lmaooooooo i love these two togetherrrrr. 🤣🤣🤣

ok kids, time to pick a team in the replies: are you #TeamAniKara or #TeamShivRi

you guys know my team already. bade bhaiyya and bulbul have my fuckinggggg heart. 😍😍😍😍

“ab gauri om se door bhaagegi.” “aur om gauri ke peeche peeche!”  “aur hum?” 

tum dono ab make out karoge. 😌😌😌

*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh* 😍😍😍😍😍

oufffffo dadiiiiiiii yaaaaaaar. 😣😣😣

LMAO “pehle toh nahi tha puttar, lekin teri harkatein dekh kar...” dadi let the boy liveeeeeee lollllllll 😆😆😆

you guys i can’t tell you how hella glad that i am that anika is just as frustrated as billu. it just warms my hearttttt that she’s as into it as he is. 😌😌😌

oh my heartttt, omkiiiii. look at his faaaace. and how he’s nervously adjusting his shirt and vest before approaching her. 😭😭😭

‘please still love me!’

oh boy, not the best voices to have in your head guiding you. honestly, why would you take advice from a couple who haven’t even been properly together for 24 hours yet!!?!?! 🙄🙄🙄

ohhhh boy omki is going to be asad (from QH) ka sequel, with the “woh actually, main...”s. 😬😬😬

HIS PANIC AT “SAB KHATAM HO GAYA HAI”!!!!!!! HER ADORABLE FAKE GUSSA! HIS DARRRA HUA FACE! I LOVE IT ALL OMG 

ohhhhhhhhhhhhh no. these fucking idiots. they underestimated omki. 😟😟😟😬😬😬

OK LITERALLY NO ONE CARES ABOUT TEJVILANA. FWDING. 

will i ever stop sighing happily over these two and their cuteeeee???? 😭😭😭😍😍😍😚😚😚

hahahahahaha shivaay dropping the stuff and fumbling picking it up . what an idiottttt. 🤣🤣🤣

oh boy why does dadi have rope?!!?!?! 😬😬😬

what a cutieeeeeeeee 😍😍😍

OMFG OMKI DHOKEBAAZ 😧😧😧

omggggg hahahahah shivaay singing “jahaan main jaata hoon wahin chali aati hai” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

lo rudra ki bhi entry. loving the casual way shivaay and he exchanged rock on 🤘🏽🤘🏽🤘🏽🤘🏽 gestures as greetings. 

“rudy, pata hai, shivaay rangay-haathon pakda gaya!” “bhaiyya yeh koi holi khelne ka time hai kya?” 

snortttttt, idiot. 😂😂😂😂

ohhhhhhhh boyyyyy. omkiiiiii. tu toh puraaaaara paaapi nikla. 😫😫😫

bulbul doing taubaaaa gestures at “patne - pataane ki baatein” hahaha 😆😆😆

lol anika getting mad at shivaay for being an idiotttttt. 😂😂😂

ouff againnnn tejvilana nonsense. fwding. 🙄🙄🙄

lo, omkara has taken the ramayan parallels from the initial promos a little too seriously and drawn a literal lakshman rekhaaaaaa. 😐😐😐

ladki waale kaun ladke waale kaun waala confusion.

lmao smart singh oberoi has very cleverly declared himself a ladki waala and stepped rightttt over the loc lololol 😂😂😂

DEVAR SQUAD ARE LADKI WAALE. *weeping* 😭😭😭

BEHNEIN BADE BHAIYYA KI TARAF SE. 😚😚😚

AND SHAKTIJI IS LADKI WAALE. FROM “BETI” KE SIDE. *weeps 5ever* 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

pffft  tumhaaare dad aur mom haiiii kahaaan? have you even bothered calling them for the last 2 weeks? 😒😒😒

ugh fuck off pinky. no one invited you. 😤😤😤

maaaaaaaaaan, what even is this jhanvi plot?

who dat on the bike? um... kinda looks like gauri ka woh “apun ki sister” waala bhaiyya? 😕😕😕

OMFG IT IS HIM. WHUT? 😯😯😯

HOLY SHIT WHAT EVEN IS THIS JHANVI/DANDIIII TEAM UP??? 😟😟😟

ok idek why i’m watching this nonsense. oh wait. i do, for this face: 

who the fuck told these people that south indians start every sentence with “aiyyo”????? 😒😒😒

like idk about other south indian states, but elders always admonish me if i say “aiyyo” too much - it’s a thing you say in distress and it’s believed saying it over and over kinda invites negativity into your life. 😐😐😐 

THEY’RE TAMILIANS AND THAT’S A MALAYALAM NEWSPAPER. WHAT THE FUCK EVEN OMGGGGGGGGG. 😧😧😧😟😟😟

ALSO THE TITLE OF THE NEWSPAPER IS JUST A BUNCHA RANDOM MALAYALAM LETTERS THROWN TOGETHER????? THE FUCK. 😣😣😣😣

dandiiiiiii is under the influence of dosas and thinks kaveri/peter are legit. don’t blame him, whatever said and done, those dosas did look damn good. 😌😌

also, i hate the way north indians pronounce “dosa” - it’s tho-sha/tho-sa, not dosa with a hard D. 😒😒😒 

OH THANK GOD. DANDI CAN TELL MALAYALAM AND TAMIL APART. HALLELUJAH. ALREADY LIKE HIM MORE. 😐😐😐

jhanvi is like yep, that kinda ignorant ass north indian bs sound like tej/svetlana for sure. 😒😒😒

didn’t even get what the precap was about really. some murti, some shiv-parvati sanjog, and everyone shocked at shivaay’s possesiveness re: khanna. ok???????? 🤔🤔🤔🤔

hopefully om-gauri get a little trip outta this hellhole to go get this murtiiiii? 😊😊😊

#ishqbaaz #ishqbaaaz #ib episode liveblogs #episode liveblogs #290817 ib lb

[apriltwentythree]

ലാലേട്ടൻ, MD

I.

the hacker absconded on a Sunday

and the hackee was left to be,

in a now dysbiotic vacuum.

she picked herself up wondering if

their symbiotic affinity was in nature, facultative or

mutualistic or commensalistic or benign parasitic, because

they now lived in a BnW world, like

Waheeda Rehman, woman with girl-like appeal and

Dev Anand, man with boy-like allure.

II.

smiling to herself then, she opened her Brain Book

oh! how she had missed her neurons and synapses

amidst an eventful year of hackathon extreme and

the hacker’s routine കലപിലകലപില!

now trying to keep pace with them cranial nerves: 

trigeminal nerve hacking her migraines, and

vagal nerve working on her gag reflexes and

slowing her heart rate, the hackee soon detour-ed, and

instead stayed late into the night  exploring

epinephrine, the hacker’s favorite neurotransmitter

that gave him his daily fix of adrenaline rush,  his

epinephrine-- that hormone from the medulla of adrenal glands...

she read in earnest  about mesolimbic & mesocortical dopamine pathways

that addict-ed him enough, to rumi-seek weed for days on, and on.

III.

in neurogenesis, Brain-Derived-Neurotrophic-Factor,  the

protein related to nerve growth also called ‘BDNF’,

reminded her of the hacker sprinkling  ‘BDSM’ randomly into

every other conversation that he made on his timeline.

french anatomist Bicket who discovered the implication of the gut

on frames of mind, calling it the epiCenter of emotion, and

water-Campylobacters that often caused depression with Floods, and

phase-3 clinical trials of Alzheimer’s now starting to focus on L-serine,

made the hackee think of  Election Phases in Kerala that the

hacker had talked about; he was her window to the world, every happening...

but then the hacker absconded on a Sunday

and the hackee was just left to be,

in a now dysbiotic vacuum.

IV.

നോക്കെത്താദൂരത്തു കണ്ണും നട്ട് was the

first film the hackee had sat-for in a theatre

she was 1+ year old or so then, in late 1985

her father had mostly stood outside rocking her

as early into the movie she had started to cry, then scream, and

her mother had sent the father & hackee out through the door

so everyone and herself could watch some Lalettan in peace.

she often felt teary-eyed for Lalettan -- dispirited

by girl-next-door Girly Mathew’s BrainTumor -- and

sweetly, the hackee would often hum to the tune of

എന്റെ ഓർമയിൽ പൂത്തുനിന്നൊരു മഞ്ഞമന്ദാരമേ

എന്നില്‍ നിന്നും പറന്നുപോയൊരു ജീവചൈതന്യമേ

except,  the long sulk on the hackee’s face now

was longing for the hacker, that hacker,

that Life-force who shake-d her world across.

V.

now as she knocked at the hacker’s door profile and

his door profile alone, day after day from inside the dysbiotic vacuum

the hackee thought of her born-name that later became her middle-name and

that which she rarely used now – Parvathy— of having held meaning once,

mostly because of the big-eyed yesteryear actor and the celestial deity, but

now as she listened to the song lyrics of filmy-malayalam

ഒന്നാം രാഗം പാടി ഒന്നിനെ മാത്രം തേടി

വന്നുവല്ലോ ഇന്നലെ നീ വടക്കുംനാഥൻറെ മുൻപിൽ

she smiled, poignant…how words took on

new dimensions in digitized worlds!

in visuals, halfway through the song, she found

Lalettan evetease-ing a couple of nuns and

those nuns seemed quite noble, unlike the hacker-Nun whose

brain she was sure never ever got lively in the right temporo-parietal junction

to reveal any sort of empathy!

VI.

the hackee then thought of that Sunday, of that weekend morning when

she had gone ballistic in jest, ridicule, and ferocity alternatively, and

the hacker too had shown that day, excessive inter-personal aggression, which

neuroscience has marked as one of striking features in psychopathy and

that of psychopaths who walked amongst us, rampant and unbridled, like

Lalettan in some film: selfish, self-loving, self-entitled stalker of

women in the locality, and enthusiastic singer of vernacular threat-rap

ഞാൻ കളി കളിച്ചാൽ നീ പറ പറക്കും

പിന്നെ ചക്കടമടലും ചങ്കുന്യാരും പെ പ പേ പേ and

later when someone quite rightly inducted Lalettan into an asylum

he then decided to turn into a Life-force, yes the same L-word,

invading an unassuming Savithri’s low-key world in താളവട്ടം 

she was a simpleton healthcare provider who MD-ed on Lalettan

not knowing he would reverse-MD on her with his magic, and

she then soon fell into a dysbiotic vacuum of a lifetime,

in his absence due to all the lobotomy at their hospital.

hacker and hackee had once shared a laugh

over a careless joke, about lobotomy

back in July-August; simpler times!

VII.

the hackee surely did not wish to turn into Savithri and

preemptively, she focused harder on the Brain Book

to learn as much as she could, and then at Med School too, about

everything neuro, everything psyche, workings of brains and minds

solely so she could zoom-in on to some imperative piece-of-puzzle that

Savithri overlooked after being cast the Lalettan spell, and which

truly might have helped Savithri evade without pain

the fateful, intensive vacuum in Lalettan’s absence, and so

the hackee ate, drank and slept with her Brain Book, because

she did not want to be caught unawares some day, when

the hacker would abscond from her life, forever,

on a Sunday again, or a Saturday perhaps, or

any other inevitable day of the week actually.

[swapnagangadharan]

I woke up reluctantly, that sense of trepidation. It was ending, 3 weeks of.. I wouldn’t call it a vacation, it was something else. I was not me anymore, I won’t be me anymore, it’s a feeling, an experience that one can’t express.

I freshened up and went to the portico.After sometime, Arjun came there bleary eyed too. I felt at that time, did last evening really happen? How different it looked today,is this how it feels? A sense of pathos,sadness and still in a delirium?

I didn’t feel like eating so I packed my backpack. Check out was 11 am and I had time. So I freshened up and went back to my bed and dozed off. Almost around 11 am I woke up and saw Arjun packing. He asked if we can go to Flurys for a light bite. We had spoken about it last evening too. I promptly said Yes!

Honestly it brightened my day. I was leaving today evening and Arjun was going his own way and it would be lovely to spend the day with someone you vibed so well. And the day was not done yet.We kept our backpacks at the hostel reception and got out to Flurys.

Over Veg Patties,Coffee and that old fashioned Peach Melba Coupe Sundae-which we truly thought would be an ice cream, we chatted about music, Agam – The Band (we both love!), Malayalam movies and music, shared links and inspiring stories and ordinary people leading lives the way they wanted to.

I remember this clearly when I said, I should do the same and Arjun said, But aren’t you doing that right now? Doing what you want to do? It takes another person’s insight to realize where you are. And I counted my blessings knowing it is and how wonderful it was to meet this guy.

We kept on chatting until the staff at Flury’s politely hinted to us to leave as tables were filling up 😁 We walked this time towards Russell Street and I showed Arjun Sam’s Pub- a very Old Chinese pub and restaurant and he asked, Shall we have a beer?

We walked into what felt like an old world Chinese New Year red festiveness! The chairs that you would see in the 1980’s photos used for weddings and ball rooms! This was awesome alright!

He ordered Duck fry while I went with Chicken. We chatted about a lot of things. We then decided to hang out at the portico of the hostel. And that’s when I saw the same guy who announced, Join me for Beers? on my first night in the hostel😁 He was of African descent,a good looking man, smoking away and gave us a big smile. He asked if we wanted to smoke? So I asked do you mean Smoking up or just smoking??

He laughed and said no way would he touch a cigarette!And Arjun, me and that guy hit that joint. It was good and heady. He was French and now lived in Berlin.Travelling across India for the past 3 months, he had no clue about the country until he came here. He was in Delhi on work and he never got to do it, instead he was travelling and he had no clue when he would leave.I admired his zest for life, the unpredictability of it.

The joint was kicking in big and it was time for Arjun to leave. When we got a cab he told me to ask the driver if he could take him around the city for 30 minutes before he reached the station? Arjun wanted to enjoy the city with his high. The cabbie agreed and off he went. It felt so good meeting this guy in a city like Kolkata, it was meant to be.

With my high I walked towards a local mithai(sweet) shop and hogged on rosogullas,Gulab Jamun and some savoury stuff I had no idea about. It was heavenly. I walked for a bit feeling like am floating. Oh Calcutta, you have swept me away didn’t you? You sneaky gorgeous wonder, now I am yours, totally yours.

It was time.. As I dumped my backpack in the hood and got into the yellow taxi,my stomach churned,it felt like this pit inside me felt hollow. I let my tears flow,unabashedly I sobbed. I sobbed hard, hot tears running down my cheeks.The driver asked me in Bengali if I was ok. I remembered only one line in Bengali from an old movie song so I said ‘Ami Calcutta Bhalo bashi’ He nodded and smiled.

As I nursed my feelings,this whirlpool of emotions I was going through sitting in the airport, ping! came a message from Arjun. He mentioned a word ‘ VISMAYAM’ – a Malayalam word,the whole experience. Yes that’s it.This was it.

Arjun told me during our conversations that certain moments,special moments he felt, he called it VISMAYAM- Magical.

It truly was in every way. From Calcutta to Meghalaya, from the journey beyond the clouds to Kanchenjunga, I had my magical moments.

So I leave you with this word and I truly hope you keep experiencing VISMAYAM in moments,in people,in nature,in your day to day lives.❤️

    Only Time.. I woke up reluctantly, that sense of trepidation. It was ending, 3 weeks of.. I wouldn't call it a vacation, it was something else.

[sunitachima]

Another Brick in the Wall

We have moved around so much that this is Kyra’s seventh school and Ezra’s third. I use the term loosely to include the day cares and crèches they were part of as well. If I could chart the expectations all these institutions had of me, the parent, it would look something like the hill workout feature on a treadmill. And if you have ever tried that feature, you would know how tiring it is; to have to run uphill again just as you are catching your breath. And then there are some of us (read: me) who just fall off the treadmill in an embarrassing heap.

In the city we lived in immediately preceding the current one, Kyra had enrolled in an international school walking distance from the apartment we moved into and thus was perfect. Or so I thought. 

We coughed up the money to pay the registration fees, admission fees, tuitions fees and whatnots and were almost paupers after the first cheque was cleared. I convinced myself that as Kyra will be spending most of her day there, I would rather pay and be worry free. Worry free in my speak also meant trouble -free, leave-me-the-heck-alone free. But oh no. I was soon the class’s worst mother; incompetent and inept. I would miss bake-offs and charity drives. I would forget to submit a 3-page long consent form so that my daughter could go to the zoo. I would dress her in uniform when everyone else was glamorously decked up for some celebration / festival in school. I would send my daughter to field trips as the only student without an accompanying parent. I would also not complete projects on time (or at all). I also had to regretfully decline (sometimes not intentionally!) all sorts of invitations from reading sessions, to contributing to the annual day or simply donating an amount to the various charity drives they had all year round. I have walked her to school when it was a declared holiday. I would miss reading the notes and reminders sent by the school on a web platform. Every single day. I simply could not keep up. I was a working mother with 2 young children. I had just moved to a new country and was in a new job, one that demanded so much from me that my body even refused to produce enough to breastfeed my 4-month-old. I was willing to pay the exorbitant school fees; all they had to do was leave me alone. But unfortunately, Kyra was in a school where (a sizeable number of) mothers congregated in the mornings for $6 lattes, their stunning figures wrapped in gym outfits, discussing events they would organise for the school and their rosy-cheeked children. I would be dishevelled, having thrown together some suitable work outfit and be running across the field towards the exit to catch my train, my heels kicking up mud on the way out.

I missed her previous school in Delhi. And I was willing to forget how one of the teachers there sat me down and listed all the ‘symptoms’ Kyra displayed. I was petrified. A 3-year-old. Not allowed to just be. Not allowed to not know her alphabets or how to hold a pencil correctly. I had refused to shove alphabets down her throat. I told the teacher she will learn to hold a pencil when it suits her. I was livid that the teacher had me worked up for an entire week worrying about Kyra.

When did schools and education institutions become so unforgiving, so blinkered in what an education means and so procrustean in approach?

We moved again some 10 months ago and as Kyra stepped gingerly into Grade 1, I told myself, now this was her battlefield, not mine. She was to deal with her teachers for all things relating to school as her parents had done before and their parents before them. I ignored her homework save to bark some orders out to her. Most of the time she simply refused. She was overwhelmed I could see. Not yet 6 and with 2 new languages to decipher: Hindi and Malayalam. Both as foreign to us as Greek and Latin. It was my turn to put on blinkers. I wanted school work to remain between the parties so invested and involved; the student and the teacher. But I couldn’t get away from the darn WhatsApp group. It was terrifying. An entire hour before she even reached home, there would be messages from teachers and parents, back and forth about school work. It was unnerving. It is truly the curse of our generation to have instant messaging apps and group chats. What would happen if I opted out of these chats? Was I legally and morally obligated to remain, a silent witness to the abnormality that was unfolding before my very eyes? Sometimes when the guilt mounted too high, I would ask a question or two, seem interested, then roll my eyes as far back as they would go.

I wonder if its unfounded science to include parents so excessively in school matters. One may argue that the parents are ultimately invested in an academically successful child. Is that all that life has really been reduced to? I want to sit with my daughter when she gets back from school and do nothing. Let her do nothing. She will usually gravitate towards her paints or her notebook. She would ask me silly questions and sing an odd song while pairing it with even odder Bharatanatyam moves. She would insist on baking. I would tell her to entertain herself and she usually does that. We would lie in bed, not saying anything but connecting all the same. She would arrange and rearrange her dolls, chop off more of their hair, paint their faces and decide that one of them must be buried in the flower pot. She would be a normal 6 year old. So I’d like to think. 

But now, 3pm onwards are supposed to be filled with homework and preparation for reviews, most of which she cannot successfully complete on her own and I loathe having to participate in something I left aeons back. I have taken to learning some Hindi in order to help her along and I do not appreciate having to do something against my will. I am aghast at the turn of events, and I feel helpless. I feel swept up by a tidal wave of education norms which do not feel natural at all. I feel intruded upon and overwhelmed by constant messages from school. I dread looking into her bag or opening her daily diary. I have muted the WhatsApp group. I do not want to participate in her projects, which are all meant for parents anyway for who asks a 6-year-old to create 3D renderings of a building. I want learning for her to be fun but all joy has been obliterated in this clinical approach to education. I want her to be responsible for unfinished work and for the teachers to deal with her as they see fit. If homework is to be age-appropriate then it must stop being parent-led but student-driven. I want to be left alone to do things which do not revolve around the children. That is the whole reason I am sending her to school. If I wanted it any other way, I would have homeschooled her. Oh the horror!

So once again I am the recalcitrant parent. The one who does not conform. The one who scoffs at regulated and standardised assessments. The one who comes across as being indifferent to her child’s education and future. But in the current context, far from being promising, those words seem like a glass casket I am preparing her to lie down in for the rest of her life, and I won’t have that, not if I can help it.

P/s: She got back from school two hours ago and in that dreaded diary there is an edict; more instructions for a review. And yet, right now as I sit typing away, she is lying down on my bed listening to The Enchanted Wood on her little radio. Will you hold it against me?

#takeawalkwithme #nohomework #parentingwoes #let children be children