#at either end....explaining this badly lol but well. went with the more noticeable dip in the lower back and letting his back curve Out

[suneatersupportsquad]

sorry

request :: ((this isn’t technically a request, more of a suggestion)) Maybe a Song could help you to write about Derek Hale? Sorry by Halsey?

song :: halsey - sorry

pairing :: Derek Hale x reader

dedication :: anon

WARNINGS :: mentions of character death(also i haven’t fully caught up on teen wolf yet so i don’t know if this is a spoiler), swearing (probably), sadness, there’s a funeral in here, fighting/arguing, relationship problems, ignoring a spouse

notes :: this is basically how i see the song playing out in my head with derek and the reader’s relationship being the center. i don’t really know how this is gonna go so don’t be too hard on me lol thanks for reading!

You stared into the mirror, taking a deep breath. Your all black attire was enough indication of what today was. His funeral. You glanced at the clock. 3:30. If you didn’t leave soon, you would be late. As you walked out the door you caught yourself reaching for your phone, but you decided it would be better if you left it.

I’ve missed your calls for months, it seems.

Don’t realize how mean I can be.

‘Cause I can sometimes treat the people

That I love like jewelry...

He called every Friday. Every single Friday. Somehow, you always found an excuse not to answer. Can’t answer, I’m in class. Can’t answer, I’m driving. Can’t answer, I’m getting ready. Can’t answer, I’m eating breakfast. For some reason, you could never find it in yourself to push that green button. So you decided to ignore him instead. Use your weakness to let him suffer by himself. It had become so normal; it had never occurred to you that, one day, he might stop calling.

Two weeks ago, Friday, you almost waited for it. Your day felt off, for some reason, until you started thinking and you finally realized: he hadn’t called. You almost had to keep yourself from staying up for the call that night. Maybe he forgot today, you told yourself, although you were still trying convince yourself that you didn’t care about him anymore. It’s been months. I can’t still care about him; it’s been too long. So you brushed it off and went on.

When he didn’t call the next Friday either, you knew something was wrong. You don’t care about him anymore you reminded yourself, but there was still a nagging feeling in the back of your mind to check on him. To make sure he was okay.

When you got the news, you were more broken than you expected to be. More broken than someone who “doesn’t care” should’ve been. You stayed home from work and cried, dialing his number over and over again only to receive the same message. “This is Derek. Couldn’t make it to the phone. Leave a message and I might get back to you.”

--

You rested your temple against the cool glass of the cab. You promised yourself you’d be strong. Now was not the time to be thinking about this.

Sorry that I can’t believe

That anybody ever really

Starts to fall in love with me...

“Do you really love me?” you asked, staring into his eyes. Beta yellow, you loved that color on him.

He looked a little surprised at the question, his eyebrows furrowing, which was interesting to see being this close. “Of course I do,” he answered firmly, leaning against your forehead a little more. “In case you’ve noticed, it’s not exactly something I go around screaming. It’s reserved for the ones I’m sure about.”

“So I’m special, now?” you teased.

“You’ve always been special,” he answered, his expression softening a little. “I love you. Of course you’re special.” You shot him a look and he expression went from fond to amused disbelieving. “What? You really don’t believe me?!”

You shook your head slightly, your noses brushing together. “I don’t really believe in love. But I sure do have some strong feelings for you,” you giggled.

He shook his head as well but smiled fondly, pulling you into his chest.

--

You pinched your thigh, reminding yourself not to get lost as you remembered. You missed him. There was no way that you didn’t care about him. But now was not the time to handle this. Now was the time to say goodbye.

The way you laid your eyes on me

In ways that no one ever could...

The sun shone through the windows, the bright beams of light burning the backs of your eyelids as you finally reached consciousness. You felt the weight of his arm draped over your stomach, his breath fanning across your neck as he let his cheek rest against his pillow, the weight of his body causing the bed to dip beside you. There was something in the way he looked at you that made your stomach twist into knots, or your rib cage fill with butterflies. No one had ever looked at you that way before. “What?” you mumbled without opening your eyes, turning to face him.

“What do you mean?” he asked softly, shifting to get a better view of your face.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You peeked one eye open, pulling the sheets closer to your body. “I could feel it.”

He hesitated before answering. “Because I love you. I like looking at you.” He paused to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “It makes me happy.”

You raised your brows a little. “You love me?”

He chuckled. “Yeah, I do.”

You pushed your nose against his, looking him right in the eyes. “Even with morning breath?” you challenged.

“Yes, even with morning breath.”

--

You were snapped out of your thoughts when the cab stopped at the cemetery and the driver spoke up. “We’re here,” he announced into the tense silence.

“Thank you,” you rasped, paying the driver and exiting the vehicle. As you approached his soon-to-be grave, a small crowd of people surrounding it, you saw the sign. In loving memory of Derek Hale.

And so it seems I broke your heart

My ignorance has struck again

I failed to see it from the start

And tore you open ‘til the end...

You weren’t being rational. When you walked into the loft to find him packing his bags caused panic to flood your chest. You were both loud, screaming and pushing and knocking things over. You had been fighting about this for weeks and now it was the final showdown. “You said you would never leave,” you yelled, pointing an accusing finger at him.

“I don’t want to, but this is bigger than us Y/N!” he tried to explain, but you didn’t give him the room.

“I’m not just something for you to play with on your time off, Derek,” you screamed. You were both sweating and angry and you hadn’t even realized you were crying. Tears trailed down your chin, down your neck, soaking into your shirt.

“You’re not-”

“I don’t want you to end up like Allison!” You could almost feel your vocal chords ripping from how loud you were yelling. Unfortunately, you seemed to strike a sore nerve.

You both completely unloaded, going back and forth, pushing each other into walls and jabbing each other’s chests with pointed fingers before you finally ended things. “Fine. If you want to go so badly, get out,” you said lowly through gritted teeth. The statement was fatally venomous, and Derek was stunned. No one had ever spoken to him in such a way, but then again this was no ordinary conversation, and you were no ordinary person. Yes, you were human, but you were his human, and he would not handle you like the others. Your narrow glare made him choke back a lump that had formed in his throat and he instantly regretted letting his mouth move faster than his mind. “Get out!” you screamed, almost making him jump.

He schooled his features back into a cold glare and snatched his bag off the bed, storming out of the loft and slamming the door shut behind him. You stood there just panting for a while. The anger wasn’t leaving your body, and you were full of it, almost ripping at the seems from how white hot your blood felt. 20 minutes went by. Then 30. And you still didn’t feel any better. In an instant of pure rage, you turned and, with all the strength you could muster, let your fist collide with the too solid stone wall. You wailed, crouching down and holding your hand in your lap, but that’s not what hurt. Your soul ached, feeling as though something had been ripped from it. You broke your hand that night

--

You sat silently in the black folding chair beside the rest of his pack. You hadn’t noticed the stream of tears trailing down your cheeks and wiped them away hastily. Flexing your hand, you ran a finger over your knuckles. They had healed a while ago, but something still hurt; a small, barely there reminder of exactly how you had lost him.

--

The funeral ended and you hadn’t said anything - didn’t even pour dirt onto the coffin. You were numb. The pack didn’t say much either, though. Instead they offered consoling pats on the back and murmured apologies before leaving. You stayed. You stayed and you cried, tracing the letters on his tombstone with the tips of your fingers. “Derek Hale (1988-2013)”

Sorry to my unknown lover

Sorry I could be so blind

Didn’t mean to leave you

And all of the things that we had behind

You vowed: never forget. I’ll never forget Derek Hale.

#derek hale #derek hale imagine #teen wolf #teen wolf imagine #imagine #one shot #tw spoilers #teen wolf spoilers #mentions of character death #swearing #cursing #sadness #there's a funeral in here #fighting #arguing #relationship problems #ignoring a spouse