#assassin's creed crack

[itseivwhore]

That time when Ezio said,referred to Leonardo's invention: "...this is Leonardo,the master inventor...who built that...pezzo di merda"

The way Leonardo exclaimed that: "HEY!" with such a disappointed,highly offended voice? Like Leo cares SO much about his inventions and fidjdjdhdisjwb the way he got upset when Ezio insulted it djsnsjsb help protect him

Nothing, that's...that's it, that's the post.

#I thought about bringing back this interaction who literally lasted like 5 seconds between Ezio and Leo #because it's underrated HHAHAHAHAHA #he was SO offended bless him #Leonardo Da Vinci was the only one character in the whole AC games who never had done something bad #this post was in my draft FOR SO LONG #like two years im not even exaggerating #and I want to re alive this blog again because I miss being on here :( #so sì #I was going through my drafts to see if I had something and this appearsd #for real though it's such a small interaction but fuejduehdbd ITS SO FUNNY #leonardo da vinci #leonardo #ezio auditore #ezio auditore da firenze #assassin's creed 2 #or was it Brotherhood...HELP #assassin's creed #assassin's creed crack #assassin's creed meme

[teecupangel]

[Desmond Miles has successfully saved a Levantine village during the Third Crusaders after waking up in the past.]

Grateful civilian: Thank you, stranger! You have saved our village from the cruelty of war. May we ask who you are so we may know the name of our savior?

[Desmond Miles believes he cannot say ‘Desmond Miles’ because that might accidentally create a ripple effect in the future.]

[Desmond Miles believes he cannot use any of the names of the ancestors who haven’t been born yet especially the Kenways because of how important they are to his history.]

[Desmond Miles has not yet processed the shock of dying a painful death and waking up in the past and his brain is blanking.]

Desmond: Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad.

[The people Desmond Miles have saved now believed their savior’s name is Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad.]

[Desmond Miles has committed identity fraud.]

[… and he will continue to commit identity fraud.]

#we interrupt teecup’s attempts to replying to all the pending replies + asks #to post this half-crack(?) idea #brought by joongdok identity fraud love language #im sorry guess ive been taken in by orv #one day i might even get an actual orv x ac idea #for now… #assassin's creed #desmond miles #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed #altaïr ibn la'ahad

[auroramoon-draws16]

Listen, buddy, it’s my post, I’ll say what I want.

Ahem.

So my next crossover idea includes Spider-Mans and Desmond Miles.

Assassin’s Creed x Spider-Verse

So you know how we love throwing Desmond, a man we barely spend enough time with in the games, only for him to be zapped into the past tense and sliced into little murder meat appetizers?

Well in true Desmond Miles fan fashion, we throw him not only into one universe, but a whole ass multiverse.

Is he a spider person? Hell no, my guy is an Assassin with morales and sick bartending skills.

Why is he here? The webs of the multiverse are a little too literal and he is very much wrapped up into it.

This whole thing is fucked up, but by whatever fucked up spider gods that allowed this to happen, he’s gonna be totally chill while internally freaking the fuck out.

Per the Desmond Miles experience™️

Oh, and to help actual children who need help, time to be the father he never got or got to be.

Funny how the Eagle adopts the Spiders

#desmond miles #assassin's creed #spider man: across the spider verse #miles morales #oh ha! their names #that’s funny #crossover time bitches #guess who’s back with the crack? #this bitch #shitpost #still would be a fun fanfic tho

[isa-belle1367]

Ok, but desmond definitely has scratched up knees he grew up in the woods, no doubt that man has scraped his knees to the bone.

#assassin's creed #desmond miles #silly desmond #he definitely have fucked knees #he grew up in the woods #fighting #his knees suck #they crack when he walks up stairs #like loudly

[theshippingpro]

Crack Assassin's Creed idea, it's about Desmond waking up after he dies. He goes around the country for a little bit, doing the whole lost soul thing. When he comes across a bar and makes friends with a guy there after a bar brawl. Des gives the guy a fake name. And the guy is from the local mafia and offers him a job in the mafia.

Des accepts, thinking he'll try it out for a while, and disappear if he doesn't like it.

The longer he stays the more he likes it there. The mafia reminds him of Ezio's Brotherhood. He likes it, and he gets along well with everyone. And the mafia is not just in that town, they are across the world. And set up quite similar to the Brotherhood.

Des is a little suspicious, but no one knows what he is talking about. So, he lets it slide, thinking he is just paranoid from the last couple of years.

Until one day the mafia brings some creates in, a fight breaks out. At the end of the fight, Des breaks the create.

Turns out the create had a chemical in there, makes someone tell the truth for the next 24 hours. One of the mafia people make a joke, and Des accidentally spills he is from the Brotherhood.

The mafia freaks out, because holy shit Fred, you brought one of the modern day assassins here!?!?! And Des freaks out, because wait you know what that is?!?!? What do you mean modern day assassin!?!?

Just about when they are going to 'take care' of Desmond. With everyone there spilt down the middle on what they should do. Des tells them his real name and curse Minerva and Juno about this fucking bullshit and something about his ancestors suffering because of it.

And everyone stops and stares at him. The guy that was about to kill him, looks at Fred and said.

"Well danm Auditore, looks like the famous Desmond does exist. And here I thought if anyone could find him, it would be Ezio or Altair."

WHAT!?!?!?

#assassin's creed #desmond miles #ezio auditore #federico auditore #auditore family #Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad #and many more assassin's that are not mentioned #and a couple of their allies #even conners father #crack idea #im not sure what to title this au #put it WILL be one heck of a ride #especially with the bleeding effect going on #the fam will not be happy about Des story #that is for sure

[djsherriff-responses]

Discuss

#rayman #Assassins creed #someone who knows on creed lore weigh in on this crack ship

[dannybonesbury]

Lunch break!!

#my art #assassin’s creed #assassins creed #prototype #assassins creed fanart #prototype fanart #desmond miles #alex mercer #alex j mercer #desmond miles fanart #alex mercer fanart #alex j mercer fanart #protocreed #crack ship #crossover #crossover art #videogame #videogame fanart #2000s videogame

[thou-babbling-brook]

hi i rlly love ur blog!! I saw recs were open!! May i suggest revelations ezio trying to figure out zoomer slang xD or a connor bc i love he

The elusive zoomer meme confuses the great Ezio Auditore de La La La…

Thank you so much, I’m so glad you enjoy my blog!! And thank you for the request! I had a lot of fun making this one ☺️

#assassin’s creed #ac revelations #ezio auditore #ezio auditore da firenze #assassin’s creed fanart #art #my art #requests #had me googling zoomer memes today to make this #I hope the one I chose conveys zoomer humor well enough #Ezio tryna crack the code man #I did really love making this #zoomers

[anli-rambles]

The problem with being a writer with ADHD is that I have 371873827392 unfinished ideas for fanfics about my hyperfixations stuck in my head at any given time and lack the self-control not to start projects I know I'll likely never finish

...so anyway I now have 3 Assassins Creed fanfics in the works rn and yes one of them is about Haytham because of course it is

#send help #assassin's creed #the second one is about basim and third is a crack au where all of desmond's ancestors end up in the modern world #in case you're wondering

[itseivwhore]

This scenario just randomly came up in my mind:

So, I'm way more than sure that AT LEAST ONCE, Ezio suddenly bursted into Leonardo's laboratory/house, all bloody and hurt and tired after having a nearly death experience in a fight, and he just immediately blacked out on the ground as soon as he stepped on Leo's doorstep.

Leonardo, kneeling down near Ezio, hurriedly shaking him, shouting: "EZIO WAAAKEE UUUUPPP, I DON'T LIKE THIS. EZIO WAAAKE UUPPP!!!"

Can someone like, draw this.

#yes I thought about that when I was listening to the complete version of Chrissy Wake Up #yes the one who went viral as a sound on Tiktok #and yes you should read it while singing otherwise it's not funny #a song that would save Ezio from vecna? #I don't know the name of that song but it goes pussy tight pussy clean pussy fresh pussy pretty pussy fat full of flesh #HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH #sorry not even remotely sorry #we ALL know of what I'm talking about #anyway yes PLEASE can someone draw this 😩😩😩😩😩 #some of your talented pipol out there blessing us with fanarts? ANYONE? QUALCUNO? #just Leonardo crunched over a fainted Ezio on the ground while Leo shakes him repeteadly while singing that #assassin's creed crack #ac crack #assassin's creed memes #assassin's creed funny #ac scenarios #assassin's creed scenarios #assassin's creed #leonardo da vinci #ezio auditore #chrissy wake uuuup #my post

[teecupangel]

‘What if desmond time travels and has to deal with such and such, or turns into an animal, or gets hurt, or-’

What if Desmond time travels and learns how to bake bread!! Huh!!? What about that!! What if he opens a super successful bakery, and solves all the worlds problems with the best fresh baked bread every!!

(This is /j but like. 👏🏻 anons let Desmond have peace challenge👏🏻 (but also don’t cause I love reading all of them I’m just like ‘how did you even come up with this? Sometimes lmao))

Anyway, since we already have a Desmond is a baker in Renaissance Italy idea, here’s Desmond is a baker during the Third Crusades instead:

So in this setup, Desmond would say fuck it and just open a bakery in Acre.

Jerusalem was too much of a hotspot at the moment and Acre had ports which meant there would be new customers that Desmond could lure in with the smell of freshly baked bread. 

And it worked.

Maybe a bit too well because…

Kadar visited while he was out looking for information for his brother’s current target. 

They both stared at one another for a moment and then Desmond just did his usual ‘Welcome! Are you looking for anything specific or would you like to hear today’s recommendations?’ spiel while Kadar just stares at him.

When Kadar went “Altaïr?”, Desmond just gave him his best bartender ‘I’m being respectful but also distant so you’ll still tip me’ smile as he goes, “I’m sorry, we don’t have a bread called ‘Altaïr’.”

Then he showed Kadar the star-shaped pull apart sweet bread he’s just perfected and go “But maybe I can interest you in this pull apart start bread? It’s sweet and fluffy and freshly baked.”

And sweet poor Kadar leaves the bakery with a basket of breads instead because Desmond was good at using both Ezio’s charms and his bartending social skills to get customers to buy more than they should.

Hey.

A man needed to profit to keep the roof over his head while trying to experiment for the upcoming debut of his sugar-free pastries.

The next day, Malik entered the bakery but Desmond was ready.

Desmond had planned for this!

“Welcome!” Desmond greeted, giving Malik his sweetest smile that he knew would completely unnerve Malik.

Desmond weaponized the similarity between him and Altaïr to unnerve Malik to the point that he cannot focus on observing Desmond, distracted by such a sweet smile that looked so disturbing in his eyes because he’s imagining Altaïr doing such an expression and it was horror beyond Malik’s wildest imagination. 

Okay.

Desmond was exaggerating but that got Malik to not ask too many invasive questions and leave the bakery after purchasing two baskets worth of bread so Desmond was going to consider that a mission successful.

And then…

His greatest adversary entered his little quaint bakery.

And Desmond was ready for him.

“Welcome!” Desmond greeted happily, “Are you looking for anything specific or would you like to see today’s recommendations?”

Altaïr simply stared at him.

But that didn’t matter.

Desmond held all the cards.

Because he knew one of Altaïr’s greatest weakness…

Altaïr secretly loved sweets.

“Today’s a special day!” Desmond clapped his hands in practiced joy that wasn’t over the top, “Today’s the debut of our dessert line! Here.”

Desmond took out a tray of sweet deserts, glistening in either honey or fruit jams. 

“Would you like a taste?” Desmond asked with the sweetness of the snake that tempted Eve to take a bite.

And Altaïr…

Altaïr left the bakery with a basket filled with desserts and pastries, quietly sinking into the shadows before anyone could see him and ask for one of the forbidden sweets he had acquired.

#i don’t know why this happened #i usually describe altaïr as not liking sweets #this is crack right? #i would happily participate in #a ‘desmond have peace’ challenge #although #knowing me #i will find some way to fuck shit up #for fun #if anyone wants an american revolution version #let me know #ask and answer #assassin's creed #desmond miles #altaïr ibn la'ahad #malik al sayf #kadar al sayf

[auroramoon-draws16]

The lord himself: okay, who changed my handle?

Wine and Die: i’m unsure, but it is accurate 😌

The lord himself: Ezio?

Wine and Die: sì

Wine and Die: 🥰🍷

The lord himself: ofc ofc

Apple Support: I still don’t understand mine.

The Matrix: it’s a technology/poe joke altair

Apple Support: I see.

The lord himself: okay, that’s funny

The lord himself: Sixteen?

The Matrix: yup and it was me

The lord himself: yeah that tracks

The Matrix: has anybody seen connor? i let him borrow my switch and i need it back

The lord himself: Idk

Wine and Die: 🤷🏻

Apple Support: He’s with the pirate near the stage, they’re discussing seafaring abilities with a pointy eared, blonde child.

The Matrix: thnx!!

(The Matrix has gone offline)

The lord himself: oh, speaking of blonde children! The new guys are breaking your pots in the back, Ezio

Wine and Die: MERDA 🏃🏻‍♂️💨

(Wine and Die has gone offline)

Apple Support: As enjoyable as this is, there are some giant, mechanical beings outside the bar, Desmond.

The lord himself: shit, coming!

(The lord himself has gone offline)

(Apple Support has gone offline)

#assassin's creed #desmond miles #ezio auditore #clay kaczmarek #altair ibn la'ahad #chat fic #linked universe #and #transformers #mentioned #legend of zelda #connor plays animal crossing #the crossover bar au #crack crossover #we have fun here #link breaking pots

[empressofthesunwriter]

Nothing is True

… Everything is permitted.

What is real?

What is not?

Is she just turning crazy or are other powers at work?

One thing is clear Kohana will get to the bottom of this and maybe change the whole Ninja-World at the same time.

S.I. Third Shinobi World War 

!PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!

I thought long and heard what should be the next chapter.

I was unsure if I could write more original chapters since the secrets I wanted to reveal like where Carina/Sakuya Piece of Eden is come after Kannabi Bridge.

I thought of making a chapter about how Kohana gets her summons, but that would be a big revelation of a few things and it needs to happen after Kanabi Bridge.

So I thought let's just tackle that mission!

So enjoy Kannabi Bridge :D

Chapter 11: The Kannabi Bridge

Four years later...on the border to Kusagakura

"See Rin how simple it is?", said Kohana to her best friend, while the twirling orb of chakra rested on her right hand. "You completed already the three steps for the Rasegan, now it's just a matter of combining them."

The Medical-Nin locked frustrated at her own hand.

"I try Kohana-Chan, really do. Maybe Rasegan is not for me.", she signed.

"Now Rin.", joined Minato-Sensei the two girls. "Anyone gets Rasegan down at their own time, I needed four years to perfect it and Kohana bet me in completing it in two weeks."

This made Kohana blush and rub her neck.

"Only because I had Eagle-Vision to help me and I had you Minato-Sensei to tell me when I did something wrong."

Minato-Sensei tutted at her and gently patted her head.

"You have great talent Kohana, you didn't become Jonin for nothing."

"Thanks, Sensei."

She still felt it was too much praise since she didn't only have Eagle Vision and Minato-Sensei's help but also the visions of how his future son, Naruto would learn Rasegan.

It did feel a bit like cheating.

Even if she was now 13 years old, like her friends and team members, Kohana still had some Vision from the future. It wasn't as often as it was in the beginning, but they were still here.

And now the day she had feared the most had come.

The Kanabi Bridge Mission where Obito would sacrifice himself for their team and Uchiha Madara and Black Zetsu would get him in their grappy hands, which would start a reaction that would leave all her team besides Kakashi and Obito dead and Minato and Kushina's unborn son Naruto on orphan and jailer of the Kyuubi.

Not gonna lie, Kohana was nearly pissing her pants.

Today would show if she could change the future.

Or was doomed to see this all unfold as her ancestor Haruno Sakuya did with the betrayal of her lover Uchiha Madara.

How she had trained for this day, become even a Jonin with Kakashi at the least Jonin-Exams in Konoha.

She hoped with all her heart that all the training and the new techniques she had learned would be enough.

That's when all heard someone fall on the ground hard.

They turned and saw Obito on the ground with Kakashi over him.

"Did I make it?!", asked the Uchiha breathless.

"No Obito you are late.", told him Kakashi with crossed arms. "Where did you think we would meet? As a true Ninja, you must follow the rules."

"Ah, whatever. I was on my way when an old lady asked me for directions. And I have something in my eye."

"Right, that's a lie!"

Rin and Kohana looked at each other and rolled their eyes. There they go again.

Thankful Minato-Sensei intervene.

"That's enough Kakashi. Obito just showed the old lady the way, right?"

"I also carried her bags!", added Obito and put his eye drobs in.

"You are too lenient, Sensei.", deadpanned the Hatake. "Besides it's impossible that Obito always meets people in need of help. Who doesn't follow the rules isn't worth being seen as Ninja. Isn't it so?"

This made Minato-Sensei laugh nervously, while Kohana handed Rin 5000 Ryo.

They both had a bet if Kakashi would today say his standard spiel of ruling obedient ninja. He had gotten into this habit after he and Kohana became Chuunin.

Next time Kohana would bet on it!

"Don't you have an ounce of goodness in your heart?", asked Obito, while he rubbed his eyes, at Kakashi. "You talk always about the rules. The main thing is your own self-control."

Before an argument broke out Rin pipped in: "Now stop it, both of you. We're all on the same team, right Kohana-Chan?"

The Haruno crossed her arms and kicked a hip out, which showed her black shorts from under her long split on both sides pink skirt.

"For me, you are both idiots right now. We have this discussion like any time we meet, it's getting old!"

"Kohana-Chan how could you betray me like that!", whined Obito.

"You're too easy on Obito, Rin-Chan.", said Kakashi to her, before he turned to Kohana. "We wouldn't have this discussion every time if Obito was punctually Kohana-San."

"What I'm saying, Rin-Chan!", waved Kohana at the two boys. "Idiots."

This made both idiots sweatdrop.

"Must this "Idiot" remind you that today is an important day for us, Kohana-San?"

Kakashi and Kohana stared at each other. In the end, the girl signed.

Well, it was true.

A while later they walked through the grasslands of Kusagakure.

Minato-Sensei told them full of pride: "As of today, Kakashi and Kohana are Jonin like me. And in order to increase our efficiency, we'll be splitting into two teams. After all, presently the Leaf Village is at an unprecedented low on military strength."

"Splitting up?", repeats Obito. "Then..."

"Yes, that's right. Kakashi will be captain of the four-man squad with Kohana, Obito and Rin. I will be working alone."

"Remember, we talked about this the other day, Obito...", reminded Rin. "About getting Kakashi-Kun and Kohana-Chan a gift."

Obito made a face but sent a smile to Kohana as she looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"I remember doing something for Kohana-Chan, the other part I must have missed..."

"Sure, Obito-Kun.", chorused Kohana and Rin not believing it one bit.

Now it was time for the gifts, both new Jonin got from Minato-Sensei one of his Flying Thunder God Kunai.

They thanked him and Rin handed Kakashi a personalized special medkit, the boy gave his thanks.

The brunette handed Kohana a beautiful necklace with a mental red rose pendant.

Both missed the look of panic in Obito's face as Kohana gushed over her gift.

"My favourite flower, thank you Rin-Chan it's beautiful, I love you!"

"I love you more and you are welcome."

The best friends hugged each other tight and Rin gave her a kiss on the cheek, which made Kohana giggle and blush.

The cute moment was ruined as Kakashi held out his hand to Obito demanding his gift.

"W-What's with this hand?! I don't have anything to give you!"

"Whatever, but what a good friend are you not having one for your best friend."

Ashamed Obito looked at the sad-looking Kohana (and a murders-looking Rin, oh god he is going to get it, won't he?!) and felt the gift he had for her formally burning in his pocket.

But...after Rin's pretty gift...his seemed so blank.

The Uchiha bowed to Kohana.

"I'm so sorry, Kohana-Chan. I forgot your gift at home. When we will return to Konoha, I will give it to you.", he lied swiftly.

He so would buy her something new and trash his stupid little gift!

"It's okay Obito-Kun, you don't have to bow before me."

"It's probably for the best that we don't get anything from you.", mussed Kakashi. "It would be useless and would only get in the way."

Of course, this made Obito angry.

"I get why Kohana-Chan is a Jonin but how you became one I still can't figure out."

"You should talk."

"I'm Uchiha Obito of the Uchiha Clan! I'll surpass you someday! The minute my Sharingan awakens!"

"Everyone in the Uchiha Can be elite, right? So you shouldn't have to rely on something like that."

"What?!"

"Kohana-San beat me at the Jonin-Exams without her Kekkai Genkai after I blinded her temporarily. Only with her Fuin Jutsus and the Rasegan. You should take an example from her."

Having enough both girls stepped between the boys. Rin held Kakashi on the shoulders, while Kohana did the same with Obito.

"Stop it, you two!", begged Rin.

"Guys we have since a good four years being a team!", reminded Kohana. "Isn't it already time to let go of these stupid childish arguments?! We aren't only teammates but friends!"

Finally, Minato-Sensei intervened and led them to a flat boulder where he could explain their mission with the help of a map.

Talking and discussing it it seemed simple, yet no one knew that it wasn't the case. Mostly Kohana who was starting to get a bit of anxiety.

This was it.

Team Kakashi, must travel through Kusagakure in the midst of a conflict between Iwagakure and Konohagakure to destroy the Kannabi Bridge so as to stop Iwagakure from receiving their supplies, while Minato-Sensei would join the battlefront and kill as many ninjas he can. He would create a diversion for them.

With all discussed, they made their way to the border, before they would split up for their missions.

They walked through a forest with big-ass mushrooms, till Kakashi made them stop. Kohana wasn't far behind and activated her Eagle-Vision.

There!

An Iwa-Nin hid in a tree, she could see the red of the enemy colour clearly.

Kohana made hidden hand-sings to tell her team where the ninja was hiding.

Minato-Sensei signed a good job to her and gave his team instructions on how to proceed.

Everyone nodded and got ready, the Iwa-Nin not the wiser.

After years of using and training them with Kushina-Nee, Kohana made a Shadow Clone in her place and replaced herself at the exact moment with a log.

The Iwa-Nin was so concreted at Kakashi and his new technique, that he didn't realize that Kohana knew where his true self was hiding before he suddenly felt a sharp pain in his neck and how a body landed on him.

Over him was kneeling a green-haired girl with swirling golden eyes behind a pair of glasses.

He coughed up blood as Kohana Hidden Blade sunk deeper into his throat.

With a last pathetic groan, he dies.

Kohana flicked her Hidden Blade back into the arm guard and got into a prayer position.

"Requiescat in Pace.", she mumbled to the corpse and joined up with her team.

No one seemed hurt.

From her visions, Kohana knows that Kakashi should have been wounded on the shoulder.

So she already changed the course of destiny.

Good.

"Good work Kohana-Chan.", praised her Minato-Sensei and gave her a head pat. "You killed the Iwa-Nin before he could do significant damage. Kakashi be thankful for Kohana, your Chidori you shouldn't use that jutsu anymore. From what I could see, your focal point concentrated attack undoubtedly has power and speed, but it makes you move too fast to ascertain the opponent's counterattack. It's still on imperfect jutsu. Before we split, I'll tell you one more thing. For a ninja, the most important thing is teamwork."

***

It was now night and Team Minato made camp under a big tree.

Rin and Kohana slept facing each other, Kakashi with his back to Rin, while Obito talked with Minato-Sensei about Kakashi and his stubbornness with the rules.

No one saw how Kohana was frowning in her sleep.

Where was she?

Kohana looked confused around in the darkness she was in.

What was going on?

A bit unsure she started to walk, standing around wouldn't solve this problem.

Then slowly she saw a little light before her.

She walked up to it, till she saw something really strange.

It was a DNA-Helix.

But not only one, there were three Helixes.

How could this be possible?

"What kind of fucked up dream is this?", mumbled Kohana to herself.

This only could be a dream, so why didn't she wake up?

"The calculation showed this to be one of the many times we would meet.", said an unknown female voice. "I'm glad it's this version. It shows that you changed a signification amount."

Scarred Kohana turned around and her mouth fell to the floor.

Before her was a young woman.

Probably in her late twenties.

She had long green hair.

Blue Eyes.

And was clothed in Miko robes.

What Kohana shocked the most, it was like she looked into a mirror that made her look older!

"The fuck?!", she cursed.

What was going on?

The older doppelganger smiled.

"Are you surprised? Can't you guess who I am?"

Frowning Kohana looked from the three DNA-Helixes to the Miko.

Could it be...?

"You are...Sakuya."

"Here in the Shinobi Nations I was.", told her Sakuya, before she twitched and looked different. Now a woman with short brunette hair and brown eyes was before her. She wore glasses, a simple white hoodie with red accents, some plain dark blue pants and brown boots. On both her arms were Hidden Blades! What was freacking she also looked like an older version of Kohana, if she had brown hair and eyes."But in my birthplace, I was Carina Auditore. Anyway, I'm your ancestor and so much more."

"What do you mean by that, Sakuya eh Carina-San?", asked Kohana totally confused.

Carina stepped towards her and pointed at the DNA-Helix.

"Do you know why we possess a third Helix? It's because long ago the Isu, the true enemy, mated with us humans and we hybrids came to be. That's why you can use Eagle-Vision. The blood of people who consider themselves gods ran in our veins."

"That doesn't really answer my question."

Carina laughed.

"No, it doesn't. Sadly we don't have much time, my Piece of Eden, Hermes Cross, can only do as much. I hope this meeting will help you to find out the truth. I can give you a clue. It's not a coincidence that we look the same. Good luck on your way little me, may you have more success in our mission than I did as Sakuya and oh, if you get together with Obito give him a good kiss for me."

With a laugh, Carina pushed her.

The ground under Kohana broke in and she descended into darkness...

"Kohana-Chan are you okay?", asked her the next morning Rin worried.

They had split up from Minato-Sensei and were following Kakashi to their mission destination.

Currently, they took a lunch break.

"It's okay.", grumbled Kohana, rubbing an eye. "I just had...a nightmare."

"What did you dream?", wanted Obito to know.

Well, she couldn't tell them the truth, now, could she?

What should she say?

Her mouth was faster than her brain.

"Food eat people!"

This earned her WTF-Looks from Obito and Rin and even a raised eyebrow from Kakashi.

Yeah, she had no idea how she came to say this, but something in her told her that it was a reference from Carina's world.

"Damn, that's terrific.", agreed Obito shuddering, staring at his Bento-Box like it was gonna eat him alive.

"It was just a dream, let's finish eating and then go on with the mission.", told Kakashi.

They all agreed with a Yes captain.

After lunch, Kohana knew they were now in the Bamboo Forest where Rin would get kidnapped.

Golden swirled her Eagle Vision in her eyes, looking out for the Iwa-Nins when they would attack.

Their stupid Camouflage Jutsu wouldn't work on her Kekkei Genkai.

She saw them before Kakashi gave them the signal to stop since he smelled them.

Kohana already made two Shadow Clones. One stayed with Rin, while she made a Rasegan and her second Clone added Wind Chakra to it.

"Wind Release: Rasenshuriken!", she shouted and trowed the Jutsu at the incoming Bamboos.

The Rasenshuriken shredder them and flow into the direction of one of the Iwa-Nin turning him into bloody shredds.

The Haruno send a silent thanks to the beborn Naruto. Thanks to the vision of him creating Rasenshuriken she got it down. When he was finally born into this world she would give the cute baby a lot of kisses.

"Rasegan!", she heard her other clone shout.

She saw how it attacked the Iwa-Nin who would have grasped Rin, that Iwa-Nin was no more too.

A loud sign left Kohana.

She had done it.

She had done it!

She had changed the future!

Rin was safe!

Yes!

"Good reflexes, Kohana-San.", praised her Kakashi.

Obito and Rin agreed loudly with him.

"That new Rasegan was awesome! You need me to teach that!", begged Obito.

Feeling light and free since she hadn't in years the Haruno laughed goodhearted. "But first you have to learn normal Rasegan and Kagebushin before I can teach you it."

However, they celebrated too fast.

It was Rin who pointed out screaming: "I don't see the body of the big one!"

That's when Kohana felt how something hit her hard on her head.

As she fainted, the last she saw was Obito running up to her screaming her name.

***

Her head felt like it was split open like a coconut. Kohana groaned from the pain.

This headache was killing her.

"Ah our guest has woken up.", greeted her in the voice of the big Iwa-Nin.

The one she thought her clone had taken care of.

Damn it!

She was so fixed on saving Rin that she didn't think that someone else could become a prisoner!

And it had been her.

Under pain, she activates her Eagle Vision.

Okay besides the big guy, there was only another Iwa-Nin. If she was smart she could handle them.

"Now look at this, Aoki, the bitch who killed Kakko, has a Kekkei Genkai.", growled the big Iwa-Nin, gripping her by the ponytail, making her bite her lips.

She wouldn't give them the satisfaction of screaming.

This Aoki joined him. "I think I heard of it, Taiseki. It's from a new Clan Eagle Vision or something like that. Genjutsu is useless against her."

"So how should we get the information from her?"

"A good old torture session loses any tongue.", reminded Aoki with an evil grin.

Not gonna lie, Kohana was pissing herself, but she wouldn't give up.

She still had one trump card.

Slowly she started to rotate the chakra in her palms to destroy the robes that bonded her.

That's when they heard the sound of a clap.

The girl's heart beat faster. This was surely Obito and she bet Rin was with him.

This also meant Kakashi was turning up soon too.

She could turn this around for good!

"I'll take care of it.", said Taiseki. "In the meantime, lose the tongue of the bitch to get the information from her. But don't destroy her too much Tsuchikage-Sama would surely like having a new Kekkai Genkai for our village."

Aoki laughed and promised he would try.

The moment Taiseki left Aoki received a surprise, sadly not an enjoyable one.

"Rasegan!", shouted Kohana and thrilled her chakra sphere through his whole head.

It was disgusting.

Brain matter landed on her and she was bloody everywhere.

At least this time the enemy ninja was dead.

Slowly Kohana stood up and gripped her head.

All was spinning.

Not a second later she puked.

Did she have a concussion? It felt like it.

And using her chakra to free herself and then making a Rasegan didn't help at all.

"I-I have to move.", she mumbled, carefully walking towards the exit. "I-I need to get out of this Death Trap."

"Kohana-Chan!", shouted Rin's voice.

Blinking Kohana looked up and saw her three teammates.

"Guys..."

Her best friend ran up to her and started to heal her right away.

"It's okay Kohana-Chan you are safe now!", cooed the brunette.

Obito and Kakashi joined them.

The Uchiha had his Sharingan Eyes and was crying.

"I'm so glad you are okay!", he told her, gripping her shoulder.

"Did you kill the other Iwa-Nin?", asked Kakashi wearing a bandage over his left eye. "You did good Kohana-Chan."

"Guys...", Kohana tried again.

Why didn't her mouth work with her right now!?

"Just a little more Kohana-Chan.", reassured Rin. "You have a heavy concussion."

"We need to get out NOW!", finally Kohana shouted.

With her Eagle Vision, she had seen the Fuin Jutsu marking on the cave. It was probably a failsafe if the Iwa-Nin lost to an enemy in their hide-out.

No one would leave this place alive.

The Fuin Jutsu marking became visible and the whole cave started to shake!

"Dammit! Everybody, let's get out of here!", commanded Kakashi.

The green-haired girl couldn't even look that fast as Obito picked her bridal style and ran after Kakashi and Rin towards the exit.

Oh Kami would they make it?

Would destiny change its course?

Aren't I evil?

This is probably the worst cliffhanger I ever made! :D

I am so proud of myself XD

I can't wait for you to throw tomatoes at me and hear your thoughts!

Until next time ;D

!!!!PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!

#Naruto FF: Nothing is True #kakashi gaiden #haruno clan #assassin's creed #isu #piece of eden #kakarin #team minato #obitoxoc #self insert #kakashi hatake #rin nohara #obito uchiha #minato namikaze #kushina uzumaki #minakushi #haruno kizashi #haruno mebuki #obito x oc #crack treated seriously

[that-one-obsession]

There is a severe lack of Ali content and I am deeply disappointed

#assassin's creed mirage #*cracks knuckles* #looks like i gotta do everything around here /s #when you want content you gotta make it yourself

[ithinkthiswasabadidea]

EAT A DICK LAYLAAAAAAA

#assassin's creed #assassin's creed odyssey #layla hassan #ac odyssey #micah bell #rdr2 #forgive me its 5.30am and i need to sleep but i needed to crack this out even more #never thought I'd hate a video game character more than micah BUT HERE WE ARE #odyssey blogging

[der-karibisch-heyder]

“Hold up now. Did Edward Kenway seriously just call a sum of 100 pounds “miserly”? I mean, I suppose in the grand scheme of things that isn’t much, especially for clandestine secret killer for hire work, but that’s still lower middle class earnings for an entire year paid up front...”

“I get he’s supposed to be a selfish greedy asshole, but acting like it’s basically nothing makes him seem more like an idiot. Which, I guess he’s that too.”

#crack #Assassins Creed 4 Black Flag Commentary #Aaron Heyder #Jacob Heyder #seriously that's like calling 50 grand in today's money nothing #sure it won't make you set for life but you can do a LOT with it still to make your life better immediately