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#aside but he was like you must have a ~thing~
riririnnnn · 3 days
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I tried choking myself like this and oh boy it was such an awful experience—it felt as if someone had placed a really heavy stone over my head Don't try it, not worth it at all, I promise. 0/10, wouldn't recommend.
To choke yourself to the point where saliva is pooling out of your mouth and for you to cough like an asthmatic person, your airway passage must be blocked which means that this dude was really going at it.
So, let's talk about him:
What Kaiser has for Isagi now isn't rivalry anymore, it has become a near obsession and keeping their ship aside, they actually have a pretty unique kind of relation—they both want to get ahead in the path of their soccer career and un/fortunately, they both just happen to be the best stepping stone for eachother right now.
Since the very first time Kaiser was introduced, he had made it clear that Isagi was some sort of a pawn for him to get ahead in his soccer career and that's what Ness also said here:
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And Kaiser's words seemed to match Ness' words too:
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And I don't blame Kaiser for choosing Isagi to be his rival.
You see, it's tough to truly understand how much impact Isagi's goal had in the BLLK universe. The investors and club owners were literally putting pressure on Noa to make Isagi play—defeating such a boy and proving that you are better than him is a perfect way for literally anyone to increase their value; it fits even well for Kaiser since they both are in the same age group too.
But, the recent chapters, especially after BM Vs Ubers match ended, confused me more. Royale Madrid/Re Al is said to be the strongest/best soccer club in the whole world in BLLK universe, so it indirectly means that Kaiser's value increased—it actually did increase though, about ¥20 millions and Ness' reaction perfectly sums what I want to say:
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Kaiser achieved what he had came for in NEL to achieve.
However, we all know what his reaction was: he didn't care, all he cared was that he was inferior to Isagi.
...why?
Like, it just doesn't make sense. He got what he wanted. Besides, Kaiser has a value of ¥320M meanwhile Isagi is still behind Rin and Rin is himself behind Kaiser by ¥100M+! Further, every team has man-marked Kaiser right away! He is already perceived as some kind of threat by every opponent team, what more he wants? Is it some pride thing of boys that I don't understand?
It just feels.. weird.
If Kaiser were to be a real narcissist, then I don't think that he would've accepted so easily that Noa is better than him and that he can't compete against him.
The above statement sends me back to this again:
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Chris words can be considered as something said just to provoke Kaiser which worked a bit too perfectly well. I don't know why, but the above panel seems much more important to the story, especially to his character when we glance at this panel:
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Just.. what the heck is this guy's backstory!?
I must say that he is very well written and honestly, when Blue Lock Manga ends, Kaneshiro-san can literally make a spin-off of him and the Fandom will inhale it instantly. I wish Itoshi brothers had one too.
.
.
.
When NEL starts in the anime, I hope an official BLLKTV/BLLKTWT app gets launch. Istg it'll be a massive hit.
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michanvalentine · 3 days
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Things about Vincent Valentine that I read around and piss me off.
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"Vincent should have done more!"
It is one of the most common observations. And I hate it! What he was supposed to do exactly? Ok, let's take a step back and pretend we're in the real world and not in a fantasy action video game. Vincent was a highly trained Turk and an excellent marksman. That's not enough to say that he was definitely also a cold piece of shit ready to do any job. In fact, I believe that Vincent was the exact opposite of this and that he was not cut out to be a Turk at all. Which is why he got into trouble. "Stern and upright" is how Square Enix describes him, so we're talking about a person who has great morals and a high sense of duty. And these two things don't always go together. To this we must add the naivety he had as a young man (evident in DoC) and his great empathy towards others (which FF VII Rebirth is highlighting a lot). So when Lucrecia decided to use the fetus as an experiment, Vincent found himself in an impossible situation, where morality and duty were at odds. Human experimentation disgusted him, but his role was as a bodyguard, nothing more. His duty was to watch and let the scientists do their work. Furthermore, at that moment no one could imagine what the result of such experiments would be and what Sephiroth would do in the future. So we're talking about a man torn by his own principles, full of doubts and, lest you forget, heartbroken. It is not easy to act in a situation like this. But he couldn't ignore his own morals, so despite his role he tried to reason with Lucrecia first and then he confronted Hojo, with the consequences we know. Did he have to kidnap Lucrecia? Did he have to kill Hojo? Did he have to burn the Shinra Mansion to the ground? Let's be honest, normal people don't act this way. And Vincent Valentine was the sanest one in the middle, so he paid for it. But even if Vincent had freaked out and gone down the path of violence, there would have been consequences and it would probably have ended the same way.
But let's go back to Lucrecia for a moment. Vincent's naivety and empathy did not allow him to notice the red flags. He only saw the best and deepest part of her, the fragile, kind and brilliant one. When she pushed him away, he still behaved as correctly as possible. He stepped aside, hoping that she would be happy. There is no selfishness, there is no possessiveness. This is called unconditional love, and it is very rare. Should he have claimed Lucrecia for himself even if she didn't want it? Fight the other man to get the woman back? Continue to chase her proclaiming his love like a crazy? These are some traits of toxic masculinity. Vincent left her absolute freedom, he respected her choices as a woman, as an adult and as a scientist, even if his sensitivity allowed him to understand some things before she could notice them herself. And that's why Vincent's question "are you sure this is what you really want" hurts so much. He knew it. He knew she would love that child.
The fact that Vincent feels like a failure who was unable to protect the woman he loved and her child is understandable. But this is only his feeling, his perception of himself in a situation way bigger than him. So no one will ever be able to get it out of my head: Vincent Valentine did everything a good man with his hands tied behind his back could have done. He went out of line for Lucrecia and Sephiroth, and was killed for it.
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fourmoony · 2 days
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MWAH i beat you to it !
reader is a sacred 28 kid and rebels like sirius, forming a close bond with the boys especially remus <3 but even after everything, reader sides with voldemort, having to fight against her friends in battle </3 if this didn't make sense no worries, i love all of your work lovely, have a wonderful day !! 💞✨
omg i'm blushing!!! thank you sm for requesting lovely!! have a wonderful day right back <3 i suck at writing battle scenes so I skipped that, hope you don't mind!!!!
f!reader 1.2k words cw: mentions of all horrible things to do with the black families behaviour, mentions of war
"I don't get it." Sirius shakes his head, brows furrowed. Like it's a joke he can't grasp the punchline of. A sick, cruel joke.
James and Remus are yet to say anything, at all. It weighs heavy throughout the room, their silence. The ache in your heart keeps growing and growing, down to the marrow in your bones, your soul. It doesn't matter that a part of you knew this was coming - from the moment muggles started to disappear all over the country, when the whispering grew more common at balls and gatherings amongst the sacred families. It doesn't matter that you knew you'd be forced to pick a side sooner or later, because you never knew it would hurt this much, could never have prepared for how unfair it feels.
Remus won't meet your eyes. That doesn't matter either, because all he would find is cold indifference. The reality, unfortunately, is that you will be accepting of this role, of this life, of the evil person you will become, the things you will do. As your father's only heir, it is your duty. Much like it had once been Sirius' duty. Before he'd run. You'd never been as brave as Sirius. Rebellious, yes. Brave, no. He'd run and was better for it. You'd run, and your family would never stop hunting you, hunting the people you love.
So you allow the mask to slip over your face, allow the hurt to bleed internally, because soon, it'll stop. Soon, you'll become so cold that you won't feel it anymore.
"What's not to get, Sirius?" James asks, voice thick.
With anger, with sadness. With betrayal. You don't blame him. James, aside from Sirius, who you'd known since you were babies, was your first friend. Fast and hard, you'd been enthralled by James Potter. Best friends by the end of the first week at Hogwarts and inseparable ever since. He'd had hope. Always, always, had hope. James is the sun. He sees the best in everyone, in everything, and he'd had hope that you'd change your mind. That you'd leave your family and the sacred twenty-eight behind. Or, at the very least, stay out of the war that loomed over all of your heads. You'd taken that hope and crushed it with a simple sentence. Right into dust.
"How? How can you just..." Sirius trails off, winces as though the sentence brings him physical pain.
He can't say it. Can't say that after everything; the pranks, the friendship, the family built, that you're getting up and walking away. Picking the other side. He'd thought you better than that and you know it must hurt worse because Sirius knows. He knows too well that it could've been him, cowardice and too afraid to walk away.
He could've been branded with the mark that sits heavy, now, against your covered forearm. A reminder that you can never go back. Not in any way that matters.
"It is my duty Sirius. You'd know about that if you hadn't abandoned it." You reply, cold, indifferent. Your voice sounds foreign, acidic as it comes from your mouth. You try not to choke on the words.
Your best friend flinches as though physically hurt. The words were intended to sting, intended to break down that metal shield he wields so well. You need them to hate you. Need them to let you walk away. Remus finally looks up. Hurt swims in his eyes. Defeat, too. He'd known. Of all of them, he'd known how hard you tried to fight it, how much you tried to push back. And in the end, you'd given up. You'd allowed the darkness of your birth right, your family, that stupid fucking sacred twenty-eight, to swallow you whole. To take you from him.
It cracks and shatters and splinters your heart, that his gaze turns hateful, cold. He's never looked at you such a way in all the years you've known him. Remus is your best friend, your soulmate. Two twin flames, caged animals scared of their own capabilities, pushed around and torn down countless times. The only difference is, you're allowing yours to be set free. Remus never allows the wolf to win.
He'd always understood you best, even in ways Sirius could never.
"He didn't abandon anything. He ran for his life." Remus' voice is sharp as razors, the unbridled fury unlike you've ever heard before.
But you don't back down. Chin raised, your eyes narrow upon him, "If he didn't spend all his time desperate to be someone he's not, pretending to be someone better, he might have been something."
Sirius seems to collapse into the chair, at that. As though the defeat has washed over him, accepting that you're gone, out of reach.
James' look of horror banks itself in your memories, a box you'll lock and throw away the key for, later. When this is done. You force your hands not to shake as you bite, "But you are not better, Sirius. You cannot outrun your bloodline, the Black name. You are one of them, rotted and twisted. Just like you feared. Only now, you're a stain on the family tree. Even they don't want you."
Your soul shakes at the way Sirius gets up and walks out of the room, the way he slams the door shut so hard it shakes the photographs on the walls. Photographs of you all, kept dusted and pristine by James' mother. Your heart breaks in two at the disgust in James' eyes, the white hot anger in Remus'.
"Let me see it." Remus demands.
He stands, tall and menacing in a way you never thought he could be. Remus, your Remus, always so careful and gentle. His hand reaches for your sleeve and you stand, too, dodge his harsh grip by the skin of your teeth. Your blood spikes.
"You didn't." James whispers, eyes distant.
It hurts. It hurts so much you want to rip your own skin off to be free of the shame and the pain, the way you already miss them. But you think of the darkness, of the blissful emotionless darkness that faces you once you are free of them. Once they hate you. Once you fulfil your duties, your birthright.
Remus' eyes are demanding, and before he can lunge at you again, you pull up your sleeve. Your best friends. They look at you like a stranger. The house falls silent, the world falls silent as the invisible string between you pulls taught and snaps. With it, the final piece of your soul withers up and dies. It's done.
"Leave."
James looks to Remus, his friend shaking so violently he thinks he might actually strangle you.
"We could've kept you safe." James pleas, standing as though he can sense you're about to leave. That he's never going to see you anywhere other than on the other side of a wand, again.
"I made my choice. I'll see you on the battlefield."
You don't spare them a glance as you disapparate, wind and nausea pushing against you as you tumble, landing directly into the darkness of your bedroom. Then, and only then, do you allow yourself to shatter into a million, tiny pieces.
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doe-eyed-fool · 2 days
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Prey | Chapter Three
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Alastor x Fem!Reader
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"Mimzy! How's my favorite flapper girl?" Alastor greets the shorter woman as he strolls into the lounge. Mimzy was at the bar, in the middle of a drink when she saw Alastor. A bright smile found it's way to her face. "Alastor! What brings you by?" She asks before turning her attention to the bartender. "Hey, a round of whisky for me and my good friend here." She tells him. 
Alastor took a seat next to her. "I actually wanted to speak to you about a friend of mine. You know her, Y/n L/n. She's looking for work, you see. Something new, something that can really turn her mundane life around."  He explains. "Oh?" Mimzy raises an eyebrow. "You suggesting I let her preform? She good at singing and dancing?" She asks. "I can't just let her preform, just because you like her." A small smirk fell on her face.
Alastor decided to ignore her teasing. "She's as good as they come." He says. "Listen, I'm going to level with you Mimzy. I've been trying to get Y/n out of her unfortunate situation for a while, and every time she refuses my help. Stubborn one, she is. But this is something she's actually willing to let me help her with. I promised her I'd at least talk to you about it. But I assure you, if you give her the chance, with time, she will be brining in all sorts of people to your lounge."
Mimzy hummed as she thought about it. "I guess there's no harm in letting her try." She shrugs. "I've only met her a maybe twice, but she seems like a decent gal. And I trust you Al, if you say she's good, then she must be."
"Excellent! She'll be ecstatic to know you said yes." Said Alastor with a grin. "I haven't said yes, yet. I said I'd give her a shot. She'll have her answer, once I see her in action." Mimzy corrects him. "Now, while you're here..." She hands him a glass of whisky. "Let's enjoy the rest of the evening, shall we?"
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You walk inside your apartment, exhausted from today's shift. Lot's of people came in, and you were kept on your toes throughout the whole day. Right now, you wanted nothing more than to just sleep. However, the knock at your door would prevent you from doing so. With a groan you walked to the door and opened it, annoyance clear as day in your face. Upon noticing who was on the other side, your mood quickly shifted.
"Alastor?" 
"Good evening, Y/n. May I come in?" Alastor asks politely. "I have wonderful news, you just have to hear." You nod your head and stepped aside, allowing him to enter. Shutting the door, you approach Alastor with curiosity. "What is it?" 
"I spoke with Mimzy tonight, and she said she'd give you a chance." He tells you. You almost couldn't believe it. Almost. Of course Alastor could get someone to go along with what he wanted. Rarely was there a time someone refused to hear him out. And now, thanks to him, you might actually have the chance to achieve your dream. 
"Al, you mean it? She wants to give me a chance?" You ask. Alastor nods. "I suggest you tell your boss, you wont be making it in tomorrow. Because she wants to see you first thing in the morning." 
"What?" You gasp. "But that's so soon!" 
"The sooner the better, no?" Alastor chuckles. "I'm sorry about the short notice, but she wouldn't accept any other time. She's a busy gal, she says." 
"How am I going to explain this to my boss?" You ask worryingly. "I could always explain it to him." Alastor smirks. "Explain that you're moving on to bigger and better things. Explain how he was always a slimy, no good excuse for a man, and you deserve better. And how-"
"Ok, Al. I get it." You chuckle. "But no, you don't have to do that. I'll talk to him." 
"Oh, Y/n. Always wanting to do things the hard way." Alastor shakes his head. You just shrug. 
"Thank you, Alastor. Really, I don't think I could have done that on my own." You say with a soft smile. "Anything for a dear friend." Alastor tells you. Your smile fell slightly and you felt a light stab at your chest. You ignore the feeling and continue. 
"Well, I should probably get some rest. Big day tomorrow, right?" 
"Indeed! I'll get out of your hair." Alastor says as he makes his way to the door. "I wish you all the luck int he word, Y/n. And I'll be there, right by your side for your audition tomorrow morning. I promise." 
"Thanks Al." You say before yawning. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Y/n." 
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You smooth out your dress as you briskly walk to Mimzy's lounge, your heart was beating wildly in your chest, and not just from your fast pace. You never felt more nervous, today could be the day that changes your life completely, you have to be perfect. Nothing could go wrong today, it just couldn't. 
As you approach the lounge, you saw Alastor waiting just outside of the door. He gave you a wave as he saw you. You smile weakly and hurried to his side. "Morning." You greet him breathlessly. "Good morning, Y/n. Today's the big day!" Alastor says excitedly. You only nod your head, hands shaking by your side.
"Nervous?" Alastor offers.
"Terrified, more like it." You tell him. "Oh, Alastor. What if I do terribly? I would have wasted yours and Mimzy's time, and just make a complete fool of myself." You say with a shaky sigh. "Come now, you'll do just fine." Alastor said, placing a hand on your trembling shoulder. "How did your boss take the news?" He asked.
"Well, I didn't say I was quitting. Just that, I had somewhere important to be and couldn't stay for my shift." You then grimace. "The look on his face made me want  to curl up and die. He didn't say much, but I could tell he was upset with me." 
"Psh, he can be upset all he wants. He should feel grateful he didn't say anything to upset you. Otherwise, I'd be down there right now." Alastor mutters, his tone dipping low. "Anyhow!" Then his tone was right back to the usual liveliness. "Let's show Mimzy what you've got!"
Alastor leads you inside the lounge, there wasn't anyone in this early, so it was entirely empty. Aside from Mimzy, who was having a smoke at one of the tables nearest to the stage. When she noticed the two of you, she puts out the cigarette and stands from her seat. "Morning, you two. Come on over." 
You and Alastor approach Mimzy, all the while, she kept her gaze firmly on you. "Hm, yeah, just as pretty as I remember her being. Good start." Mimzy says as she checks you over. "Real question is, can you sing?" 
"Y-Yes ma'am." You nod. "Yeah? I'll be the judge of that, sweetheart." Mimzy smirks. "Now, get on up there." She points her thump at the stage. You exhale shakily and glance at Alastor. He brushed his hand on yours and nods. You walk towards the small set of stairs that lead to the stage, and climb them. You approached the microphone and held it gently. It was just two people, Mimzy and Alastor, and yet it felt as if the whole world was watching. 
"I've got a song picked out for you already." Said Mimzy before nodding towards the man at the piano near the rear of the stage. "I hope you know it." The music began to play, and thankfully you did know this song.
You swallowed a lump in your throat and bean to sing along.
I'm sentimental, so I walk in the rain I've got some habits even I can't explain Could start for the corner, turn up in Spain But why try to change me now?
I sit and daydream, I've got daydreams galore Cigarette ashes, there they go on the floor I'll go away weekends, leave my keys in the door But why try to change me now?
There was a point in the song, where you had found yourself becoming less tense. Your eyes closed, and instead of focusing on who was watching you, you look back on your memories. Memories of your parents and yourself, when you were younger. Singing along to songs on the radio with them, the sound of their voices, their faces.
Why can't I be more conventional? People talk, people stare, so I try But that's not for me, 'cause I can't see My kind of crazy world go passing me by
So, let people wonder, let 'em laugh, let 'em frown You know I'll love you till the moon's upside down Don't you remember I was always your clown? Why try to change me now?
You slowly open your eyes as the music died out, and once again it was just Mimzy and Alastor watching. Mimzy was the first to speak. "Alright. I think I have my answer." You felt nervous all over again, heartbeat picking up in your chest as you await her answer. 
"You seem a bit tense, but I guess that's normal for your first time singing in front of folks. But you'll have to handle your nerves when you sing in front of people for real. A nice voice doesn't pair well with a stiff performer." She starts. "But, I think with some practice, you'll be doing just fine. I expect a lot more folks in here now that you're gonna be singing on my stage." 
"D-Does that mean I...?"
"Welcome to showbiz, kid!" Mimzy smirks. You smile brightly at her words, looking to Alastor, you noticed he was just as happy as you were. "See, what did I tell you?" Alastor shrugs. "She's a natural." 
This was really it, you would finally make something of your life. You could finally follow your dream. And it was all thanks to Alastor. You figured you should do something nice for him, after all, he's been so kind to you for all these years.
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ashley-amelie · 1 day
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hello……. may i prompt souyo + swap (the swapped thing is up to you heheh 🫶
hello!! and thank you for leaving me a prompt :3c
the swapped thing I chose was *drumroll* selfies!
I hope you like this! (and that the formatting is okay, oof)
**
Yosuke customizes every entry in his phone's contacts list. It's just what he does. He's been doing it since his first one years ago, when he figured out that he could pair a yellow-orange background with his mom's photo and a green one with his dad's.
So when Yosuke remembers he doesn't have a contact photo for Yu, two weeks after initially exchanging numbers, he fires off a quick text –
> hey prtnr snd me a pic 4 my contacts k??
– and wanders away for a glass of water. He has three messages from Yu when he comes back to his desk and, by proxy, his phone a few minutes later. 
> Sure.
> Is this good?
The third message, only an image file, takes another minute to download. Yosuke smiles a little when he sees it; it's a slim white cat, curled into a tight ball, with only one ear visible.
It's cute, but it's not Yu.
Yosuke sends his response.
> i meant liek a selfie lol
Yu's back-to-back reply –
> Oh.
> I don't have any.
– rouses surprise, suspicion, and then understanding. In that order. 
While Yosuke has only known Yu for all of a month, he's already cottoned on to some of the other boy’s ways and attitudes. And considering how airheaded he seems about his own appearance – how does he not notice all the looks he gets? it's insane! – Yosuke can believe it.
He fully understands how Narukami Yu might not have a single selfie.
Nevertheless, Yosuke presses on.
> take 1??
And finds himself baffled at Yu's response.
> I'll try.
Try? As if it's hard?
The next image Yu sends downloads as slowly as the first, and Yosuke twirls in his desk chair while waiting on it.
As soon as it's done, Yosuke snorts again in amusement.
> dude thats jus ur eye wtf
Not even both eyes; just one, taken so closely that Yosuke can see his fine, silvery lower lashes and the edges where his pupil meets the pale gray of his iris. He'd been meaning to ask if Yu is wearing coloured contacts; from the picture Yosuke still can't tell.
The notification for Yu's next message –
> No good then? Let me try again.
– reorients his thoughts. Was he really analyzing a picture of someone's eye? Yosuke scrubs a hand over his face; the countryside must be turning him into a weirdo.
But, after looking over the subsequent photo that downloads, Yosuke takes it back. He can't be a weirdo when Yu has the entire concept of weird on lock. It's an upside-down, blurry close-up of the bridge of his nose and, honestly, what kind of message is Yosuke supposed to take away from that? 
Other than –
> plz dnt tell me u dnt kno how 2 take a selfie
> here liek this
Yosuke tabs through his image gallery until he finds his favorite selfie. Although it's the same pose as most of his other photos – a peace sign and a flirty wink – he'd felt better than usual that day and the camera noticed.
He ends up spinning in his chair again as he waits; right now, even this is more entertaining than trying to read through his Literature homework.
Yu's messages ping one after another again.
> Thanks.
> You look really happy.
> How is this?
What comes through last is a perfectly clear photo of Yu, smiling slightly, with his cheek resting on his fist. It's a new photo, unlike Yosuke's – the collar of his Yasogami uniform is unmistakable.
He attaches the photo to Yu's contact profile, completing it, and puts his phone aside.
Ugh, homework.
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ataraxiaspainting · 2 days
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Catch a Grenade.
Yan Nanami x GN Reader.
Synopsis: You should have just left that damn satchel where you found it.
Warnings: Yandere themes, kidnapping, some infantilization, humiliation/manipulation, and violence.
Word Count: 900.
Continuation of Never Let Me Down Again.
*~*~*~*
“Go.” Only one word, said so coldly yet loud enough to hear it above the stomps of Kento’s clad feet making their way down the hall. “I say this only once.”
The only reason he does not tug you is because he will surely accidentally break your wrist or your arm.
You know this from experience, all without words and all with actions.
“Since you have planned so much, you should have planned for other possibilities.” You cannot see his face because you are facing the corner of the living room, your forehead leaning against one of the walls. You cannot see his face, but you know he is furious, from the tone in his voice to the position he forced you into. He put you in the time-out corner, a corner that you have not been put into since the first month you arrived here.
The walls are a dull marigold and smell of spoiled milk. This corner also has a large white spot that is uncovered by the paint, and so you attempt to push your nose against that instead.
In what felt like months ago, you attempted to tear off the paint out of boredom. Kento was angry, but not angry enough to buy more paint to fix it.
“I do so much for you…” He says, and there is the sound of his armchair squeaking slightly. He must be sitting on it, grimacing. There isn’t any other cause to think about, not when this sound has been the only one you had heard for months, aside from Kento’s tones, the television, and your cries. Yeah. That must be it, you think. “God. What the hell were you thinking? I have work tomorrow too…”
You don’t say anything. You close your eyes and breathe in the only piece of air that does not smell so rotten. You can imagine being somewhere else, doing something else, other than being here, and being forced to stand on your tiptoes against a coat of yellow latex. Anything else.
“Answer.” He demands, and you can hear the soft sound of his right foot thumping up and down on the musty carpet floor. “Or do you want to be in more trouble than you already are?”
Out of instinct, out of a want so embedded within you, to survive, you stutter out some hardly audible words.
“You don’t have any logic in you, do you?” He sounds so disappointed, and your mind goes to the image of him having his arms crossed. “I’m right. Aren’t I?”
Your toes hurt already. But it feels like something is holding you up by your neck and forcing you to stay there. An invisible noose made of fear. An invisible weight in your chest too.
“I’m sorry, Kento…” You murmur, sniffling as tears and snot and drool run down your face.
“No, you’re not.” He refutes. You can hear him turn to another page of whatever he is reading.
“Please. I am… I am…” You repeat I am a few more times, feeling humiliated, like just an infant who doesn’t know their place.
A sigh. “Are you? Are you? How do I know you’re not lying, hmm? Again?”
Even the soft carpet underneath your toes feels like a bed of thorns at this point. Everything hurts.
“Please, Kento…! I am…! I am…!”
A whine escapes your lips, like a defeated dog sent off to rest in their crate without a treat: a dog, a mutt, a pet.
“Are you?” Another familiar sound of pages turning. You must have been here for hours at this point, so the thing he is reading must be quite long indeed.
So long.
You can imagine him rubbing his thumb and pointer finger into his brow area in frustration, disappointment, in apathy pretending to be sympathy. “You don’t appreciate what I do for you… Do you?”
You can feel a glare, and the ghost of something squeezing your neck to force more desperate words out of you. “P-Please, I’m-” 
You hear the squeak of Kento’s armchair again.
You feel hands, the same hands that always felt so strong, on your shoulders, and you are turned around with ease. He looks at you, but you don’t look at him. You look at his shirt, his work shirt, still halfway unbuttoned with his tie hanging loosely from the stained collar. You can smell his cologne, although it has almost fully faded away. You can remember tying it before he left for work this morning, he looked so happy that you were behaving so well for him.
You almost scream out thank yous, but then Kento ruins your small moment of happiness again.
“We aren’t done.” You see the book he was reading this whole time, it is thick and red and looks so heavy. The pain on your cheek came so fast that you didn’t even see it move. You stumble back, the back of your head hitting hard against the white spot on the wall. 
You were too focused on the pain, on crying even more, that you didn’t notice the book being raised again.
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welcometogrouchland · 2 months
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I've been binging Batman Beyond recently (Terry ily so much) and thought about how- bc of the JLU twist which I think isn't even canon to the comics BB verse but shhh bare with me- he'd technically be Damian's half brother??? Which is just so ridiculously soap opera to me. I need them to interact in a silly time travel adventure so bad you don't even understand (ID in alt)
#dc comics#damian wayne#terry mcginnis#batman beyond#batman and robin#mine#also feat the mild damian uniform redesign i like playing around with. it's fun i like her. i love u classic robin colours#the backstory for this image in my mind is that Terry knows of Damian/has maybe met him#in the future (whether we're going w the rebirth ''damian rejoins the league'' angle that i. don't love conceptually but can't judge-#-bc i haven't read. or if we go w/ some other potential future route for damian) and Terry is like. experiencing whiplash at meeting him-#-as robin. like you are 5 feet tall why r u so bossy. where is your dad good god. this is why i don't have a robin (?this is pre matt-robin)#but Terry's in an unfamiliar time trying not to cause a paradox so he puts aside his indignitude(?) at being bossed around by a kid#just long enough to make sure nothing goes horrifically wrong. hence this image takes place#<- i could've been a lot more eloquent explaining this but it's very late and i should've been asleep ages ago#anyway. absolutely crazy to me that Damian has had multiple flavours of secret brother plots and terry is a potential addition. rip damian#(also in my ideal future damian took up the nightwing mantle (EVERYONE READ NIGHTWING MUST DIE!!!) before retiring(#idk what his future career is. lowkey hes a webcomic artist in my brain but that's so horrendously self indulgent i can't condone it#also i decided to try my hands at lineart again. evil. how are you so stiff looking and difficult to do. waughh#anyway if things look weird. no they don't
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queenerdloser · 3 months
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i just finished dark heir
#me foaming at the mouth during the last chapters: HE IS! FUCKING! SAVING YOU!#i am huddled around will kempen hissing like a mama cat none of these fuckers are allowed to look at him#dark rise#okay but like. cyrian at literally every moment in the book you see will anticipating things and making connections#that you never make. doing things like a leader & being fucking smart and strategic. and your dumb ass really thought.#hm. must mean i shouldnt listen to him about the magic staff that can literally stop the end of the world. must be evil.#me: [screams into the abyss]#i know i cant expect characters to react like readers and they DID all react like i knew they would but god it was so infuriating!!!!!#and heart breaking! god!!!! god!!!!! will reliving his mother's initial betrayal over and over and OVER again#and thinking about all the little moments we get where the novel tells us: if these 'evil' characters had just been accepted#instead of tossed aside maybe they wouldnt have fallen. if they had been protected instead of killed maybe they would have#become protectors instead of killers. maybe if will's mom hadn't tried to butcher him for the sin of his own birth#he wouldn't have been so scared to tell people he lied to them.#anyway im not normal about will kempen and if book 3 doesnt give me his friends fucking accepting him i'll kill someone#me looking directly at visander: i dont care how charming you are i'll murder your ass about it#i read this book in like 5 hrs im being very normal about it
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akkivee · 7 months
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bonds are necessary for the true hypnosis mic to be used according to rei!!!! so bonds not only negate the effects on the target, but also on the user as well!!!!!
#this is vee speaking#the amount of love rei has can bring humanity to its knees i think#like i feel like that’s basically rei saying as long as you have love nothing can harm you/anything that’s broken can be fixed#i wonder what hypmic would have been like if all six divisions actually got to be in the series from the start lol#like i feel like i was right about rosasa being created for rei to get him into the battles#esp now that we know HIS agenda behind the drbs was to find a user#and in harmonious cooperation we learned you can share a mic so if the bond’s strong enough#they can withstand the effects together#oof i’m straying from my original thought lol but i like this train of thought better lol#chuuoku intentionally brought nagosaka in to utilise their bonds with ichiro and samatoki#so i can’t tell if chuuoku fully understood why the drbs were a thing???#but i assume so and ramuda and jakurai was just their easiest back up plan????#like tho half the teams were put together by choice the other half (posse dh bat) were government crafted#and setting aside posse for being crafted for watchdog reasons lol nagosaka were intentionally made and made using bonds#rei went to rosasa and bat’s connecting thread was hitoya#so i think chuuoku must have also been in on the drbs plan 🤔#and ramuda now that i’m thinking about it????#like he may not know the entire picture but he seemed to know when to step in to combat the true hypnosis mic effects hmm 🤔#lol look at me spontaneously building an observation from ground up thru tags again having food for thought is always fun lol
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74n5n · 2 months
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#vent tag#personal tag#aside from that i was vaguely called dumb#and on the job ive left i was harrassed and its all tiring because im considered dumb and uncooperative all the time#i dont want to work at all but im afraid of not having a job for a long time because of parents' pressure#because i have an older brother who is literally h.aru.ka sa.ku.rai so you see#ive been endlessly compared to him especially in college#whenwver i skipped lessons or had breakfowns because of college i would be given silent treatment and i had horrible suicidal thoughts#i didnt eat for days because i felt like i dont deserve#ivw been compared to him either because i must be better than him - more open or independent etc... a good child unlike him#or because i must be just like him. i was told horrible things in college just because i was struggling#i tried to talk to my mom baout it a few months ago but i never received undwrstanding or apology#i dont like how my brother acts either but im like him i just try to hide it better#maybe because i wassnt baused in family as much as he was that im able to hide it better#my mom can switch to “youre just like him” so easily what if i receive this treatment again#is it purely my fault that i cant do it#i want to just have more chances but its so hard when all of my attemprs are failing#i get concerned because this feeling of i dont deserve to exist is creeping in again and i have trouble eating#i mean when i was in college the man said that me and my brother should only eat the food that we bought on our money#so i was quite literally prohibited eating ^.^#my mom supported me yesterday but i wonder what will she say if i ask if she's mad at me
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tbos-main · 6 months
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can we get a solid list of character ages like all of them I know you've sort of mentioned some of them and I have good approximations on some but others I can't be sure and it's throwing me off especially with your new post where you said isha is a distant ancestor... from only a century ago. I need to sit down and do math when tf was everyone having kids like I know some of them were surely having kids young as is the way of monarchies but how did you fit at minimum 6 generations into a hundred years. sorry if this is pedantic and annoying but I need the level of info about this series that would allow me to write a detailed history textbook
i know you asked for everyones ages but this did just become a harasaeon timeline oops. but i had fun and that's what matters
0 years ago - drako (age 24) - this is the baseline age, every time incriment is being subtracted from this point in time, NOT the time given in the previous bullet point.
-5 years - lugalia dies age 66 (drako is 19)
-24 years - drako is born (kiva is 20)
-26 years - rin is born (kiva is 18)
-28 years - lilla is born (kiva is 16. compensation for my girl please)
-44 years - kiva is born (lugalia is 22. this is considered 'late' for a harasaeon bc there's such a focus on having an heir but lugalia was against getting married until there was everything with the drought)
-49 years - hammari dies (lugalia is 17. kian holds the throne for a year)
-54 years - isenia is caught and executed. the war is 'won'
-59 years - everything w the beabelas. sayna is mutilated
-66 years - lugalia is born (hammari is 25)
-78 years - hammari is crowned (age 13)
-91 years - hammari is born
-??? years - isha dies
-108 years - hammari's mum is born (isha is 23)
-110 years - kusig is reclaimed (isha is 21)
-115 years - coup! isha's parents are killed and the royal court is moved to the westlands (isha is 16) (im debating someone being regent for 2 years until she comes of age though, depends which family her mother married into. i want it to really hit that hammari was YOUNG when she took the throne so i cant have isha also be underaged even if still want isha to be young when everything happens)
-131 years - isha is born
so for me this still hits the centuryish mark ive been hand-waving about but that might just depend on what you consider 'around a century', but now we officially know the war started 115 years ago with the coup led by the gathering of wisers!!! time flies when ur all having kids in your twenties or late teens i guess. and seeing as we know hammari had parents that very much WERENT isha, i think hammari would be isha's grandaughter. hammari's mum would have only been about 17 when she had her (the moment the war started it became a real thing of pop out an heir ASAP bc harasaeons were suddenly killable things and the dynasty needed to continue. kiva is actually the one that really put a stop to this and after having three kids by the age I AM RIGHT NOW? i really dont blame her. she also refused to arrange any marriages for the boys even when they started getting older and making zero moves to knuckle down themselves, which is why both drako and rin are still bachelors and yes, that is considered VERY odd by the court's standards and the high council are CONSTANTLY on their ass about it, particularly rin.) it's kind of hard to say when isha died seeing as i haven't actually decided HOW she dies, but it has to happen between those 17 years before hammari is born bc i DO know there's no crossover there; hammari never knew her grandmother. omg just had a fucked up thought about how to kill isha oh my godddd.
so yeah anyway. that still makes isha a pretty distant ancestor (or at least in my opinion? i have a fucked relationship with my extended family tho so maybe i just dont know what constitutes as distant LMAO) esp considering the only reason hammari is even relevant to us is bc she got her own story, otherwise she'd just be any other harasaeon name in history that drako never even met.
#actually thanks for making me sit and hash this out ive been putting this off for MONTHS#i might have a tbos admin day bc there's a lot of stuff like this ive been meaning to do#e.g still need to redo the map. on paper draw out the family trees and also on paper do a PROPER timeline#that isn't just making u look at a bunch of mildly comprehensible numbers LMAO#so if this is confusing for u trust im working on a more legible version lmao. this is just the barebones and has barely been checked icl#i just know im absolutely gonna have to figure out a burnosian calendar like at the very least a way of doing the years#sigh. why cant i just before christ these bitches. why must everything require work#wait i technically did. 'hammari dies 49 years before the birth of drako' he is literally christ#also if my maths is wrong in this. no it isn't. im a very tired economics student there's only so much i can take#this will likely contradict previous things ive said about timeline stuff bc like i said ive never actually sat with it before#ive just given myself loose times like 'a century' 'a few decades' etc#and if ive ever said otherwise that's bc i was lying for that specific post. my bad it will happen again <3#ask#isha#burnos#WAIT SO IF I JUST NAME HAMMARI'S MUM ILL HAVE NAMES FOR EVERY SINGLE HARASAEON DURING WARTIME??? HOLY SHIT#aside their partners obviously. my bad you guys we got uhhh kian and willem. tragic cringefail husbands#and also that guy lugalia got addicted to opium. STOP MARRYING HARASAEON WOMEN. RUN AWAY
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tonyglowheart · 21 days
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following up on this post though where I pinned down that by Chap 23/24, Shen Qiao already exhibits a shift in attitude wrt Yan Wushi. Which isn't to say he still doesn't rise to Yan Wushi's provocation, lol, because he very much does. But clearly by Chap 24... like, if he wanted to leave... he could? (Yes maybe Yan Wushi would stalk him and pop up wherever he went like :3 owo did you miss me? :3c) But he doesn't
And so that begs the question for me of like... why. Why doesn't he just leave? There's that line later in the chap about how if it were just a few days earlier, then he'd be uncomfortable all over (with Yan Wushi's provocation), but stuff like the goosebumps (he got), they decreased bit by bit until they were gone. - so yes he got used to it, but by early chap 24, he hadn't yet gotten to the point of, like... habituating to Yan Wushi's provocations?
so. really. I can only conclude that actually.... Shen Qiao likes it, lmao. Cuz, like, sure if Shen Qiao gives an inch then Yan Wushi will take a mile, but I also don't get the feeling that Yan Wushi really crosses any boundaries that Shen Qiao ultimately doesn't concede.
It's not like with Bai Rong - who he sets very clear boundaries with and doesn't really yield on them - or with like Huo Xijing or Sang Jingxing or the rest of Huanhe, who I think we can all agree are on another level of Bad, and who clearly SQ also sees as a different breed than Bai Rong (and tbh I think he sees Yan Wushi as being more akin to Bai Rong than like Yuan Xiuxiu or Sang Jingxing etc.)
With Yan Wushi, it's like... clearly Yan Wushi pushes his buttons and pushes his boundaries, but so far anyway, YWS doesn't seem to have done any pushes that are just a step too far beyond what Shen Qiao can tolerate.
So. Where does this leave us. Shen Qiao finds Yan Wushi irritating and but also stimulating I would guess? And at least tolerates his provocations if not continues to tacitly encourage it by being so permissive to Yan Wushi's antics. But also it gets his blood going and gives him jitters... hm why does this sound familiar........
Is. Yan Wushi. like a caffeine high that Shen Qiao is chasing lmao?? *insert all of the coffee memes of like it's so good but at what cost, sometimes it gives you accelerated exhaustion etc* i've connected the two dots dot.jpg
Which also means that, any time anyone asks Shen Qiao about Yan Wushi and like, what the heck clearly he just pushes your buttons and tries to get a rise out of you, why are you even sticking with this old man,. this is him:
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#qian qiu#yanshen#shen qiao#yan wushi#i've connected the two dots dot jpg#cuz it's easy to be like well what does yws get out of yanshen - yan wushi likes being provocative and also in a way he bonsais sq into#being on his level - like his whole thing about are you even a rival to me. but like if you think about it a rival is also a peer#and yws is so peerless in the world that his ego aside it must be hard for him to make friends#it's sort of like... yes make intergenerational friendships. but if the only ppl you could make friends w are high schoolers....#then that's kind of awk as a like. working adult of many years. like the martial world goes by disciple generations sure and there are ppl#in his generation... but it also goes by skill level and there are very few if like. no one other than potentially sq on his level lmao#(clearly. as five (five!) dudes tried to kill him and FAILED)#(and even qi fengge himself was like. this guy has the potential to exceed me)#I do think that for yws sq goes from like. a curiosity to an experiment to like. blooming into his potential as a full peer#but the equation is a bit more difficult from sq's side#the like 'abandon trying to intepret sq as a normal guy and see the padme amidala post abt her being a freak and that applies here'#only rly goes so far. it got me part of the way there of like. okay you're thinking of this wrong you have to open your mind#but still it was like... so clearly at some point. he does in fact stick with/around yws (and must like it?? if he doesn't why would he?)#but... WHY#I was sort of halfway there of like. as much as yws sees sq as a curiosity so too does sq see yws as a curiosity?#as far as like... well I have my worldview widen it by showing my an almost ostensibly diametrically opposed one#like sq is very... unworldly? that's not quite it. like. otherworldly? very detached from the 红尘 (mortal world/human society)#the normie world ig? like he's been immersed in the Daoist/cultivation world since a young child#he really is very much close to the ideal of being/embodying 仙#but he does also suffer from the. if you're so removed from the world that you don't know what you're removed from#you're not really doing it on purpose. you kind of are sure but you aren't really being#and yan wushi on the other hand is a very worldly guy. he's very much about worldly affairs and worldly things and worldly pleasures#and worldly emotions. etc. so they are similar in that they each are fleshed out in a way that embodies their ideal but they're two sides#of the same coin. two sides of the yin-yang equation#but on a more personalized note lol. like why does sq go along with this other than he a freak and he must like it?
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skhardwarevers1 · 9 days
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anyways “just don’t leave me alone wondering where you are” Program and “I am stronger than you give me credit for” Vista
#Could also be Moon & Tera they’re both equally as sad#But I’m gonna just. Let that sink in.#Even in the early phases (Hansel/Gretel) they were designed specifically to be a stronger more logical machine and a human-esque creation#Vista was never meant to be as strong mentally or physically as Program could#but they pushed through anyway. The perceived imbalance between them will always get me#Vista/Gretel thought Koeia liked Program/Hansel more because he served a purpose#Program/Hansel thought Koeia liked Vista/Gretel more because they were like her “daughter”#And later Program ends up putting aside their differences to look out for them#“For the greater good” my ass! He cared about their well being more because he knew they were supposedly “weaker” than him#but realizing there wasn’t much of a difference between them in Koeia’s eyes made him feel compelled to shield them from some things#He figured that they were meant to be like siblings#he wanted to be their sibling#They wanted to too but they didn’t want to be inferior#They felt that Program was better than them in every way. It was him that made the project possible after all!#Clearly he /must/ be better right?#So they’re stuck in a weird spot of not having known each other for years and only perceiving what they thin other was compared to themself#And then being thrown into a situation where they’re trying to make it out together#Even as early as before the incident Program was looking out for Vista#Program felt threatened by Clay sometimes and would try to tell Vista to get out#Him attacking Clay was his way of trying to help#Which only fucks up Moon a little more when Procyon starts taking that same “helping” role and gets Clay…you know…speared….#And they feel so betrayed it sends them into an entire spiral of barely knowing who they are anymore#Anyways I didn’t meant to rant bye bye#S.K thinks#I hope this changes someone’s perception of Moon as a whole. Just one person I’ll be happy with that
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lisbonsteresa · 1 year
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doing horribly
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rachiller · 3 months
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One thing I am NOT looking forward to about going home for Christmas is having to watch my little brother get misgendered and deadnamed and having to constantly correct my parents about it/not being able to do anything re: my grandparents bc I think he’s technically still not out to them. Anyway here’s to three straight days of referring to him as ‘the child’ and ‘munchkin’ around company like I did when he was only out to me and I didn’t want to deadname him lmaooo
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fideidefenswhore · 1 year
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Many who knew Henry well seem to have responded to him not just with awe, but with affection. Charles Brandon was, in 1509, just an esquire in the old king's funeral procession, but he rose to become duke of Suffolk on the basis of friendship with Henry, and ended as his brother-in-law. Thomas Cranmer, for whom the king caused many difficulties, held his hand as he lay dying, and seems to have mourned him sincerely. More remarkably, his discarded wives could still speak of him with devotion. Katherine of Aragon wrote in her last letter to him, 'Lastly, I make this vow, that mine eyes desire you above all things.' Anne Boleyn, on the scaffold, said to the crowd, 'I pray God save the king and send him long to reign over you, for a gentler nor a more merciful prince was there never, and to me he was ever a good, a gentle, and sovereign lord.' Anne of Cleves, often to be held to be the lucky one who escaped his clutches without harm, remained his friend for the rest of his life. These levels of attachment should warn us not to make easy assumptions.
Tudor England: A History, Lucy Wooding
#lucy wooding#ok so... a lot to unpack here and please no one reblog this to add stuff before reading my tags lol#bcus i don't entirely agree here but i do think she makes some salient points; and im going to get into it#1) so the example of catherine and AB...setting aside the debated veracity of catherine's letter#(and you can set it aside#she could make this argument different primary sources and it would still stand#like when catherine was informed henry married anne she literally refused to believe it. she said in his great wisdom he would#never do such a thing. so there is a degree of hero-worship even years into her exile and repudiation)#you can't really ignore the circumstances#which is that they have survivors they're leaving behind and they knew that and it would ultimately ; inevitably factor into what they#chose to be their last words....#that being said i don't think you can dismiss them as mere sycophancy / appeal to his better nature either#because last words were considered and are still considered; sacrosanct#it's not a time to lie or even equivocate the truth#i always think of starkey's line for anne's: knowing anne one might suspect satire but the moment was too serious for that'#and i would agree with that#i think it was all bound together: 1) an appeal for elizabeth's welfare and 2) a truth in part#or a truth that had been rather* . she does . maybe more significantly than has been recognized. use the past tense here#he must have been that to her for some period of time#when he stopped being so has been debated by historians ever since#he never was; or right after their marriage#or immediately after elizabeth was born. or immediately after her first miscarriage. or second . etc#anyway so tl; dr while i don't think it's quite as simple as what she's outline here and there are facets to all of the above#i do agree with the general thrust of what she's saying here#which is that...you know. henry was admired and loved by some very admirable people#so there must have been things to love about him#much as that is hard to reconcile with what we know about him and what he did.#that has to be acknowledged and given weight if our understanding of this era and court is ever#to be worth half a salt.
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