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#asexual ranting
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Character: I think boys are pretty
Fandom: oh! They're gay! That's canon!
Different character: I have no interest in romance or sex. I don't understand it. Relationships confuse me. They seem pointless to me. I have no desire to be in a romantic or sexual relationship. I am an aromantic asexual.
Fandom: well, I guess you can interpret them as aroace...I don't see it though.
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luzxii · 3 months
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Btw please block me if you think any varient of aromantics, asexuals or aroaces don't belong in the LGBTQ community (including cishet aros and aros/aces/aroaces who feel attraction.. my god y'all they don't get a free pass to exclude)
I'm not aroace myself, but I will NEVER stand for the blatant aphobia present in the community.
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locklylemybeloved · 1 month
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FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT WHILE VALENTINES DAY ITSELF IS LOWKEY A CORPORATE CASH GRAB TODAY IS STILL ABOUT CELEBRATING LOVE BUT THAT MEANS ALL LOVE NOT JUST ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL LOVE YES I MEAN PLATONIC AND FAMILIAL LOVE PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL LOVE ARE NOT THE ONLY TYPES OF LOVE WORTH CELEBRATING ON THIS LOVELY WEDNESDAY
(Caps ID below the cut)
[Caps ID: friendly reminder that while valentines day itself is lowkey a corporate cash grab today is still about celebrating love but that means all love not just romantic and sexual love. yes i mean platonic and familial love. please remember that romantic and sexual love are not the only types of love worth celebrating on this lovely wednesday]
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miitopia-cake · 4 months
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I wish some aces would stop excluding other aces with complex sexual experiences. like I get why but you have to realize that being ace does not mean they don't enjoy sexual experiences and it's weird when you complain about allo people and boil it down to "people who have sexual experiences" and also shame people for their sex life and kinks as if your own community doesnt INCLUDE those people. because there are other aces out there who still masturbate, who feel sexually attracted to their own body, who barely experiences sexual attraction but still enjoys sex, who like consuming sexual media, who like sfw kink. being ace is so so much more complex than just "disliking sex". and also aromantic exclusionism in the same genre of posts is something i see a lot. especially aro allos. I hate hate hate seeing a community that SHOULD be inclusive boil down sexuality and exclude people.
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lovesick-ritz · 1 year
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We don't talk about platonic marriages enough
I am bisexual. My partner is aroace. We are in a queerplatonic relationship. We have been together for around 4 years and got engaged a little over 2 years ago. We don't do romantic things (we do sometimes, but not usually.) and we don't do sexual things. There's no romance, but we love each other. It is 100% platonic.
But I ALWAYS feel the need to clarify this with people we meet that, it's not "oh haha we were best friends for so long we just decided to get married teehee"
NO
It's still love. We live for each other. We would die for each other. We are attached at the hip. We are each others most important thing in the entire world. Just because we don't kiss or have sex doesn't mean it's not love.
I LOVE my fiance in ways words can't explain. And they love me just the same.
Just because it's not romantic doesn't make it any less of a relationship.
Just because it's not sexual doesn't make us any less engaged.
I am going to marry my fiance, my best friend, the love of my life, and I need people to know that it's not because we couldn't find anyone else. It's not because we said we would if we were still single at X years old. It's not a trend or a phase or anything like that.
I'm going to marry them because I LOVE them.
@novelcain <3
(update since this is gaining traction again: we're married now!! :D)
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theaceofarrows · 8 months
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Being aroace is so much easier when you're a kid. For one, no one bats an eye when you groan at a boring, unnecessary romantic plot in the show/movie you're watching (especially one that feels rushed) and two, no one ever judges you when you turn away when a sex scene comes on in a show/movie, in fact, you're expected to do those things. But when you get into you're teens and adult years and you do those things, people treat you like you're either the delicate, innocent little flower, or like there's something wrong with you. And frankly it is beyond annoying.
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aconfusedkitten · 2 months
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okay, as someone on both the ace and aro spectrums, there is nothing wrong with shipping aroace characters.
it is a Spectrum, and just like there are sex favorable aces, sex neutral ones, and sex averse ones (or people like myself who are somewhere in between!), there is more than one way to identify as aro. for fucks sake, please stop harassing people in fandom for shipping things because it doesn't fit your definition of what being aroace means.
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jamesunderwater · 7 months
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Hi hello good evening, friendly reminder that identifying as asexual and/or aromantic does not mean the individual: has no sex drive; is never interested in romance; never desires romantic relationships; has never had and/or does not ever want to have sex; does not have fantasies nor masturbate; and so on..... but perhaps the most important reminder is: just because someone's relationship to sex and romance differs from societal expectations does not mean it is something to fix
thank you, carry on (:
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as an aroace person, i've been finding myself frustrated that when I tell my adult friends how important friendship is to me, they look at me weirdly and say "oh that's for lovers though?" I'm at my limit, folks...i literally lost a good chunk of friends because I cared more about them and the friendship than they do-
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kmarttelescope13 · 4 months
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coming to terms with being aro and/or ace isn't really talked about and i feel like it should be, especially the uglier aspects of it. like yes i know being ace is fine and good and totally natural, i know this, but it doesn't change the fact that i feel so terrible about myself. like i feel like a dick because i can't just be happy for my friends when they get into relationships and i feel like i constantly have to justify why i feel the way i do and nobody understands my critiques of dating culture and our conception of romance in general because it works for them, but it doesn't work for me, and nobody wants to put in the work to understand that. like whenever i talk about it with my friends there's always this underlying attitude of "you'll get it once you find The One," but maybe i'll never find The One, and maybe i don't want to.
online you see a lot of positivity and acceptance, and that's great. it really helps people. there's just something about logging off and being constantly bombarded with romance novels, films, poetry, all of it, that makes you feel like a freak. and you get so angry because nobody seems to understand and you're realizing that you'll never get married but all your friends will and you'll slowly lose more and more of your support network until you're just alone with a cat in a shitty apartment. like logically i know it won't be that way and i should just meet some ace people irl but goddamn it really fucks you up at first.
anyway if your coming to terms with your aro/ace-ness manifests as self-hatred, i see you and i'm with you and it's normal. i promise it'll be okay eventually. in the meantime you simply have to "fuck it we ball" through it
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memyselfandi2008-blog · 5 months
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So, I’ve just recently seen a few videos on TikTok about people leaving their best friend of however many years because they started dating someone, and it just confuses the absolute hell out of me.
Like, a few women have posted about leaving their male friends because he got a girlfriend, and I’m just sitting here like… you don’t have to do that?
You shouldn’t have to break years (or even a handful of months) of your friendship off because he got a girlfriend.
I mean, I did see a few comments talk about how it’s a “trust thing,” or something like that, but like… a trust thing for who?
If it’s for the girlfriend, that’s a red flag, is it not? Like, the idea that she can’t accept that her boyfriend has female friends? The fact she doesn’t trust him to not go behind her back? Or even try to form relationships with his friends and get to know them better?
If it’s for the guy, that’s also a red flag. As said before he should be trustworthy and loyal—his affection for his girlfriend shouldn’t have to be called into question. The idea that there is even a sliver of possibility for that to happen is not grounds for a healthy relationship.
If it’s for the friend, again, red flag. The fact you’d go out of your way to pursue him if you didn’t break off your friendship is extremely muffed up.
Men (and women in the reverse) should be allowed to have opposite gendered best friends without the concept of romance just hanging over their heads for their entire lives, or needless petty drama of the idea that “oh they could be dating!! >:(” when that thought has never crossed their minds.
Hell, even if they did used to date and broke it off, but still remained friends, that should be a sign that their breakup was healthy for both of them and that they won’t plan to get together again. They were both mature and realized that a romance wasn’t something they wanted.
This entire concept just baffles me.
I mean, it’s videos like those that make me paranoid that I’m the reason my guy friend hasn’t gotten a girlfriend yet. There’s been so many points where I’ve just though that he’d be better off if I just stopped being his friend, that maybe it’d be easier for him if we never even met in the first place.
I just don’t understand why men and women can’t just be friends. There always has to be something, some underlying feeling that people just assume is there, when it’s really nothing at all.
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year
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Asexuals and aromantics are actually allowed to do anything they want forever, and it's okay if allo people don't "get it". You don't need to be the perfect aro or ace in order to be aro or ace, I pinky swear
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alevens · 2 months
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zolu is maybe one of the easiest ships i've ever liked. they're dating, except when they're not, they're best friends even when they're kissing and they're still captain and first mate when they aren't. they hold hands, they hug. they have sex. they don't.
Luffy can hold Zoro's katanas and Zoro can hold Luffy's strawhat and no one bats an eye. one says "You're so cool!" and the other says "You're strong" and it's just another way to say "I see you, this is why I follow you/this is why I trust you". it's not seeing each other for a long time and still knowing how the other's steps sound like against wood and sand. the captain runs and the first mate follows. it's always "Zoro and the others" and "Where's Luffy?"
if they're just friends, if they're something more, if they don't have a label for it, at its core, it's just about how they get each other. they understand how the other's mind works. however you view them, it doesn't erase they fact that they love each other in a way they don't love other people.
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locklylemybeloved · 6 months
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i actually think we need to talk about how sexuality is fluid. people change, and they change constantly. part of that change is ur identity
i was aroace for years of my life. i never felt any attraction to people, i couldnt understand attraction, i didnt ever want to be with anyone. and i was comfortable with that.
but then one day (i cant really explain it or pinpoint it) i realized that oh i could be in a romantic relationship now. in this current moment, im biromantic (something i spent a while debating) and asexual.
but the problem was, i was so paranoid people wouldn’t believe me, or people would assume the period of my life that i was aroace was immaturity or a “mistake” that i didnt come out for a WHILE. i didnt want all of those people who told me “its just a phase” and “i hadnt found the right person yet” to be right
but heres the thing: even though i am no longer aroace, those people werent right. it wasnt “a phase.” that time i was aro wasnt a “phase.” i genuinely was aro, but because all things tend to be fluid, that changed. and another funny thing? i didnt “find the right person.” i didnt have an “awakening.” one day, i just knew. and thats totally okay.
it’s exhausting to constantly justify your sexuality to others. it’s exhausting to feel invalidated in your own identity. and i know for a fact that its not just me that experiences this.
i know someone who was a lesbian their entire life, and then they realized no they were actually a man. now they identify as a straight guy
anyways i guess this point of this is to tell people to accept fluidity and change in identity, and to let people who’ve gone through the same thing as I have know:
you aren’t alone, i’ve been there too. and i’m so sorry if you relate to the tiring state of mind of constant questioning. stay strong and remember that the way you see yourself is entirely for you. your identity is yours, and you get to define it.
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piss-stained-jorts · 9 months
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saw some clown on here whining about other people not liking kissing and reducing it to the gross parts and that it’s indicative of a society that fears flesh (which yes it does but that’s not how to go about making the point) and blah blah fucking blah
anyway instead of being a salty bitch and getting into an internet argument with some stranger I’m gonna be a Big Adult and use my rage and spite to remind all of you that
hating kissing is okay, you’re not weird or broken or a prude,
whether you’re asexual or allosexual it’s fine if you despise swapping spit with another human being, it doesn’t mean you love them any less, and you’re FINE. love is expressed in different ways. humans celebrate each other differently, love comes in different forms, it’s fine if you only want to kiss people you’re close to or not at all or literally anything in-between, and shaming people for hating an act of intimacy is fucked up. show love how you want. enjoy the company of others how you want. you don’t have to see kissing as anything more than the gross parts, and “reducing” it to that or whatever is just as okay as romanticizing it as something more. it’s just some ritual humans made up, and we’re allowed to feel literally any fucking way in the world about it.
live your life. be free. 
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just-a-little-anxious · 5 months
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being asexual is weird.
like I want people to tell me about their sexual experiences, because my nature, I am a curious person and I want to understand and hear more about the things I don't understand of feel.
But when people are too vague when talking about it, I am like "Hey tell me more", and when people are too detailed, I'm just stuck with that information in my head like "Huh............ kinda wish I didn't know that."
And then I fucking LOVE dirty jokes and innuendos which I make all the time, but when people do it seriously, or mean it, I cringe
and then I am interested in kink culture, for god knows what reason?? I mean tbh being tied up and then nothing else happening sounds kinda fun??? But I'm still asexual??
and I know that I can be asexual and still like all of these things, but I'm still confused about it when it comes to myself. like what am I?? why am I?? this is so confusing???? Also I am like sex favorable and also repulsed at the same time?? like yea sex sounds kinda cool but also ew ew no!! how does that even work???
I hate having to find myself. this shit is so confusing. I just wanna hide in a cave and not deal with it
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