#as usual I make no promises as to a consistent content put out because boy. I am not okay.

[teapartyprincess4two]

begging you to write matt with reader who's also a youtuber/influencer. I want them to be best friends and reader is naive and way too kind for her own good. my idea is that there's another influencer who has a bad reputation and everyone hates on him because supposedly he's a big red flag. but one day y/n met him at a party and he put on an act so y/n now believes that he's not as bad as everyone makes him out to be. they become friends and that's when matt questions her about it and keep warning her about the type of guy he is because matt's worried about her but she won't listen because she's still giving the guy the benefit of the doubt and then they argue about this stuff idk you can change it up I just want this fic to have lotssss of angst but with a happy ending. if you could maybe even squeeze in an angry confession like "WHY DO YOU CARE" iykwim🤭

Why Do You Care?- M. Sturniolo

pairing: Influencer!reader x BestFriend!Matt

classification: angst, fluff

warning: use of y/n, toxic relationship, argument, slight cursing, mentions of blood, physical fight, “slut,” mention of alcohol use, long

inspiration: request^^

summary: You’re naive and let yourself be led on by someone you believe has good intentions, but one day Matt puts him in his place and ends up confessing his feelings to you in the process.

—

Most celebrities quickly become out of touch with reality, allowing the fame to inflate their ego beyond recognition. They splurge on fancy cars, big houses, designer clothing, and then flaunt all of it in the face of their viewers. They become friends with whoever’s currently trending only to chew them up and spit them right out, draining them for as much clout as possible before moving on to the next.

When you first started YouTube you were scared to become one of these celebrities; the celebrities that trade in everything old and meaningful for whatever’s new and shiny. You worked hard to create quality content for your viewers while also trying to remain as humble as possible. If it weren’t for your friends, you probably would’ve fallen victim to the materialism as well.

You had a large friend group consisting of influencers you met after the fame, but a small inner circle made up of your true, irreplaceable friends. Matt and his brothers were a part of this inner circle, all of you riding the wave into fame together. So, when everyone else was gloating over their newfound fame, the four of you remained humble and down to Earth.

Erik, the guy you were seeing, was the complete opposite though. You met him at an influencer event, much like all of your current friends, and he held a certain charm that drew you in immediately. Everyone warned you, claiming he was bad news and would only break your heart, but you didn’t listen. You were naive, giving him the benefit of the doubt and letting his sweet words convince you that he wasn’t what everyone said he was.

You’re currently sitting with Nick and Chris in their living room talking anything and everything boys. Usually Chris would just sit and listen, but the conversation has meandered into the topic of Erik, and he struggles to contain his opinion. An old film plays lowly in the background, a bowl of popcorn situated between piles of blankets and pillows.

“He’s not that bad. I promise!” you exclaim towards Nick and Chris, but it sounds more like you’re trying to convince yourself. You’re scrolling through your phone, buttery fingers trying to find proof that Erik wasn’t all that bad. Nick rolls his eyes, peering over your shoulder as you shuffle through endless photos on your phone.

Chris scoots in closer, copying Nick in invading your personal space before saying, “I don’t know, Y/n. I’ve seen him at a couple parties and he’s always either arriving with a different girl or leaving with one, or both.” You pop a few pieces of popcorn in your mouth, finally finding the screenshot you were looking for.

“Shush Chris, just look at this,” you reply with a mouthful of popcorn, a greasy finger zooming into the screenshot of messages between you and Erik. Before Chris can grab ahold of the phone, Nick is snatching it from you and reading the messages out loud.

“Hey baby, you looked so cute in that black dress. Can’t wait to see it off,” Nick reads, visibly shuddering at the message. “THAT’S the message you wanted to show me?” Chris scoffs, stealing the phone from Nick to examine the messages for himself.

“Just keep reading,” you murmur, now peering over Chris’s shoulder and shoving more popcorn into your mouth. Chris rolls his eyes at you, proceeding to read the messages from Erik, “You’re better than any girl I’ve ever had.” Nick laughs loudly at that, a laugh that exemplifies how unimpressed he is.

“He basically told you he’s fucked other bitches but you’re the best,” Chris deadpans, tossing your phone onto your lap. He’s had enough with the messages, all of them making him cringe beyond belief. Nick once again grabs the phone, examining the messages one more time, “He’s fucking doing the bare minimum, Y/n. Actually, he’s setting the bar so low it’s on the floor.”

Chris laughs at the comment, getting comfortable on the living room floor and averting his gaze to the TV. “Whatever Nick, he’s nice and I really like him,” you retort, no hint of true bitterness in your voice.

The room goes silent for a while, Nick’s focus being on deciphering any hidden meanings within the messages. You lean back into the blankets and pillows that surround you, joining Chris in finally watching the movie. Finally, when Nick has read the messages 10 times over, he replies, “Yeah you really like fucking him apparently.”

Your eyes widen to the size of saucers, your hands swiftly snatching the phone away from him, “I haven’t fucked him! What the fuck!” Nick laughs, knowing the comment trigged you, “Well from what I read, it sounds like you did.”

Before you can stop yourself, you’re grabbing one of the many pillows you’re laying on and lightly hit Nick with it. The pillow ricochets off his chest, the feeling being more annoying than painful. “Don’t start, bitch. I’ll fucking win every time,” he laughs, grabbing a pillow of his own and bouncing it off your head. Soon you’re both caught in a pillow fight, your giggles and laughter filling the living room and drowning the movie out.

Chris groans in annoyance when a stray pillow bonks him in the head, scooting away from you two and turning the volume up. Matt enters the living room fresh out of the shower tussling a white towel on his wet hair. He watches in amusement as you and Nick toss and turn on the living room floor, turning to Chris briefly and asking, “What’s going on with these two?”

Chris groans again, getting up and rounding the corner to head downstairs to his room, “I don’t know, something about Y/n fucking Erik.” Matt watches as Chris disappears into his room, the statement settling in his mind when the door clicks. You hear Chris’s comment, attempting to hit him by throwing a pillow his way, but missing because he descends the stairs before it can reach him.

“You’re fucking Erik?” Matt asks, attempting to sound nonchalant and casual. But there was nothing nonchalant or casual about his question, especially not when directed towards the girl he’s loved from the moment he met her. You and Nick halt your movements, both slightly out of breath and in shock by the straightforwardness of Matt’s question, he was never the type to be so blunt.

“No, that was a lie made up by Nick. See, Nick, that’s how rumors start,” you reply, directing the last part to Nick who holds his hands up in defense. Matt feels himself relax at your confession, the anxiety that was forming subsiding, “Oh okay, yeah. Good, cause I don’t like that guy.” He’s still trying to play the unbothered card, and he wonders if you can tell that it actually did bother him. You roll your eyes, watching as Matt slings the towel over his shoulder from behind the couch.

“Yeah, alright, because who I fuck is dependent on who you do and don’t like? Right?” you reply, a challenging tone in your voice. For some reason it hurt more coming from Matt than from Nick or Chris, maybe because you’ve been pining over Matt since childhood and he’s never realized it. You’ve seen him go through girlfriend after girlfriend without complaint, but the second you’re interested in anyone it’s a problem? “And that’s my queue to leave,” Nick mumbles, getting up and walking upstairs to his room in an attempt to leave the awkward moment.

Matt doesn’t get a chance to reply as you continue, “Whatever, I don’t know why I’m fighting with you.”

“We’re not fighting?”

“We literally are? You never like any of my boyfriends,” you reply, but even you know that you’re overreacting.

“Oh, so he’s been promoted to boyfriend?” Matt prods, a sassy hand resting on his hip. Truth be told, Matt has loved you for longer than you’ve loved him, but he’s always been too afraid to admit it to you. Both Nick and Chris know, but they’ve never exposed Matt’s true feelings for you because they know your relationship is complicated. They’ve watched you both try to fill the void with fling after fling, only to end up arguing about who’s dating who and ending up alone again. It was a never ending cycle between you and Matt, a cycle that would never break until one of you confessed.

“And so what if he has? What is to you, Matt? Not like you don’t have a new random girl in here every week,” you snap, surprised by the venom in your voice. Matt’s hurt by your comment, is that what you viewed him as? As a womanizer? But his hurt is quickly masked by anger, “Alright so now we ARE fighting, and it shouldn’t be any of your concern who I’m seeing.”

“Same goes for you, buddy! I don’t see why you care so much about my relationship with Erik,” you stand from your spot on the floor, feeling small compared to Matt’s towering figure. The condescending nickname is a slap to the face, quickly informing Matt that you aren’t here to play games or coddle his feelings. He wants to say so many things, all of them about his true feelings for you, but he bites his tongue. Plus, after being called ‘buddy’ he’s not sure you’ll even listen.

His jaw is clenched, one fist balled up and the other gripping onto the towel so tightly his knuckles turn white. Once the silence becomes too much, you continue, “Whatever, Matt. I’m going home, I’ll talk to you later. Tell Nick and Chris I said bye.”

“No, you don’t get to ‘whatever’ me. Let’s talk about this,” his tone is almost pleading, a gentle but firm hand keeping you in place. You won’t make eye contact, afraid that if you meet his gaze the tears will spill.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you sigh, suddenly feeling defeated and guilty for arguing with the one man you truly loved. Why was this so hard for you both?

Matt opens his mouth to say something, but quickly closes it like a fish in water when he realizes that what he wants to say will only further complicate the situation. He silently watches as you gather your things. You push past him, making your way to the front door without another word, but you’re internally wishing he’d pull you back in and fix this. He doesn’t though, so you swing the front door open and walk towards your car.

When the door slams closed, Matt realizes that if he doesn’t do something about it, he’ll lose you for good.

—

Loud music booms through the club, the vibrations of the bass shaking the walls with each beat. You never pass up on the opportunity to celebrate friends, so when Tara, an influencer friend of yours, invited you to her party you immediately said yes. The venue is filled with drunk people, all of them so inebriated that all they can do is dance, makeout, and continue drinking.

Matt, Nick, and Chris follow closely behind you as you push your way through the crowd of dancing people. They were completely out of their element, choosing to stick to you like gum to avoid any uncomfortable interactions. As you weave your way through the club, you spot Erik in the corner with a few of your other friends, and immediately without thinking you abandon all loyalty to your friends and start walking towards him.

“Hey, where are you going?” Matt asks, voice straining to be heard over the music. He’s holding onto your elbow, grip firm enough to keep you from moving. “I’m gonna get Erik, I want you guys to meet him,” you reply, managing to slip out of his grasp and continuing your journey through the dense population of drunk, sweaty people. Matt wants to grab you by the waist and pull you back, but you just forgave him after your last argument and he knows your relationship is too fragile for another argument right now.

“Where is she going?” Chris shouts, scanning the room anxiously. The club was loud and chaotic, filled with strobing lights and bumping bodies that were enough to overstimulate anyone. Matt’s eyes are trained on you, watching as you reach Erik and cling onto him like a necklace. Chris, upon not receiving a response from Matt, looks at his brother. Matt’s jaw is clenched, prominent veins visible on his arms as the anger begins coursing through his veins.

Chris follows Matt’s gaze, immediately clocking what has Matt so serious. Nick is standing close by, bopping his head to the music. “Fucking hate that guy,” Chris comments, slapping Matt’s back and pulling him into a quick side hug. He was attempting to console his brother, to show his solidarity, but Matt was too blinded to notice.

“Tell me about it,” Matt grits, watching as you excitedly lead Erik towards the trio. Your right hand is holding a drink high in the air as your left is behind you, fingers laced with Erik’s as you dance your way back to your friends.

“Guys! This is Erik!” you look so excited, like a little kid showing off their new toy. But Erik is unimpressed and honestly, he doesn’t give a fuck who your friends are. Matt, Nick, and Chris care even less about him, in fact they hate this guy from the rumors alone.

“Hey man, nice to meet you. I’m Chris,” Chris is the first to break the awkward tension. He extends a hand, dabbing Erik up briefly as to not seem rude. Nick follows, going in for a quick side hug, “Nice to finally meet you, I’m Nick. Y/n has told us so much about you.”

“All good things I hope,” Erik replies. There’s a fake tone laced in his voice that Matt catches instantly, causing him to roll his eyes. Matt waits for Erik to give him his full attention before introducing himself with a firm handshake, “I’m Matt.” He wasn’t going to put on a show, all he had to do was introduce himself, simple as that.

Matt’s hand holds onto Erik’s for a little too long, successfully managing to intimidate him before he pulls away. “Matt. Noted,” Erik says awkwardly, ready to ditch this situation and consume as much alcohol as possible to forget this ever happened. Erik rocks back and forth on his heels, surveying the room for an excuse to leave. He spots a girl he’s fucked before, eyes lighting up as he creates an excuse on the spot, “Hey baby, I’m going to go find some friends I want you to meet. I’ll be back in a bit.” Erik plants a kiss on your cheek before dismissing himself with a wave, “Nice meeting you guys, see you around.”

“Nice meeting you, see you around,” Matt mocks in a high pitched voice, rolling his eyes for what feels like the 100th time tonight. There were so many red flags about this guy, but he was being so nice, so fake, that Matt couldn’t even point them out. And hearing another man call you baby has Matt’s blood boiling, he just knows that Erik throws that nickname at anything with legs.

Chris and Nick return Erik’s wave, but Matt immediately pulls you in close and begins warning you about the type of guy Erik is. “He’s so weird, Y/n. Just be careful please,” he whispers into your ear, the loud music forcing him to be inches away from your face. As he says it, he catches Erik checking a girl out on the dance floor, the same girl that Erik dismissed himself to go talk to.

“I don’t want you to get hurt. I care about you and don’t want to see you upset over a guy, especially not a douche like him,” Matt continues, subconsciously letting his hands rest on your waist. It’s a feeling you welcome, wishing that it was more than just friendly.

“I’m not going to get hurt. I’m a big girl,” you reply, a drunk smile on your face. How you’ve managed to get so drunk already, he doesn’t know, but he knows that he feels a sense of responsibility for you. He’s about to tell you to stay close, your drunken state inhibiting you from properly taking care of yourself. “I’m gonna go find Tara,” and with that you’re lost in the crowd again, forcing Matt to loosen his grip on your waist as he watches you dance away.

He leans against the wall behind him, a tight jaw forming as he switches his attention from you and Erik. You’re having so much fun dancing with friends, completely oblivious to the fact that Erik is chatting up yet another girl, and Matt couldn’t do anything about it.

—

After about two hours, Matt has officially decided that he’s bored. He and his brothers are the only sober people, the three of them watching as everyone else makes drunk decisions they were sure to regret later. “I’m gonna go to the restroom,” Matt excuses himself, earning a head nod from both his brothers. In reality he just needed an excuse to stretch his legs and a reason to walk around the club to look for you.

Matt hasn’t seen you since went to look for Tara. And as he laps the club, he ends up running into Tara, her small dancing figure thanking him for celebrating such a big milestone with her. He asked her if she’d seen you, but she said it had been a while since she last saw you. That worried Matt, especially considering how drunk you were. So, as he heads towards the restroom, he studies every face in the room in search of yours.

When he finally reaches the restroom, he still hasn’t found you, but as he pushes the door open he’s met with Erik’s annoying voice, “No I don’t actually like her. I mean, yeah she’s cute, but why would I tie myself down? I just need her to boost my views.” Matt sees red as soon as he hears it, he knows Erik is talking about you, who else could he be talking about?

“So you’re using her for clout?” another voice chimes in.

“Something like that. Have you seen her numbers, dude? Her and those little triplets she hangs out with are all anyone’s talking about right now. I don’t get the hype, but you know I have to get in on that… Plus, if I play this game long enough, she might let me hit,” Erik replies, the gross comment he made about you earning him a round of laughter from his equally as disgusting friends.

Matt’s about to push the door open, slam Erik onto the floor, and beat the living shit out of him, but Erik continues before he can, “And the look on that Matt guy’s face when I finally do it will be priceless. He’s clearly in love with her.”

Matt’s heard enough, and before he knows it he’s fuming and barging into the restroom, you can practically see the steam coming off of him. It doesn’t take long for him to single Erik out, the adrenaline pumping through his body providing him with a sudden, unmatched strength. Matt grabs him by the color, using momentum and force to push him against the cold tile wall.

Matt is glad that no one is here to hold him back, but even if there was he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from doing what he’s about to do. “Ay bro, what the fu—” Erik’s sentence is cut off by a swift punch to his jaw, a punch so hard that it has him dazed. Erik falls onto the floor harshly as all of his fake friends scurry out of the restroom, commenting something along the lines of “this guy’s crazy.”

Matt was in a blinded rage, watching as Erik spits blood onto the floor, using one hand to hold himself up and the other to wipe the warm liquid that dribbles down his chin.

“You think a punch will stop me from fucking your bitch?” Erik asks with a malicious, bloody smile forming on his face. Matt doesn’t respond, his fists doing all the talking for him as he kneels to Erik’s level and pummels his face. Punch after punch is thrown, each one leaving Erik bloodier and more bruised than the last.

Erik’s friends must’ve told people in the club what was happening in the restroom because you, Nick, and Chris are suddenly barging in. Nick and Chris are horrified at the sight, but with Erik’s track record they’re not surprised, he certainly had it coming. “Matt! Matt!” Chris shouts, wrapping strong arms around his brother and attempting to pull him off Erik, who’s laughing maniacally like he got what he wanted.

Matt’s stiff as a board, so it takes both Chris and Nick to pry him off the bloody boy. Finally, when they pull him off, Erik stumbles to get up. His face is so bloody he’s almost unrecognizable. “Matt, what did you do?” you whisper in shock, a trembling hand coming up to your face at the sight. Matt’s chest heaves as he tries steadying his breathing, his dark eyes softening a little when he realizes how scared you are.

“C’mon, let’s go,” Nick whispers, the severity of the situation settling into the atmosphere. Nick ushers everyone out of the restroom, and Erik gets one last jab in, “Yeah! Leave you fucking loser! And take your slut with you too!”

Matt was never quick to anger, in fact he was docile and patient most of the time, but Erik’s comment lets you know that his outburst was building and was most certainly justified. If Chris wasn’t holding onto Matt, he would’ve turned around and finished the job, but he’s glad he doesn’t because he catches the pleading look you give him.

“Let’s go home, yeah?” Matt asks softly, pulling you into his side and planting a kiss on your head. You nod slowly, eyes trained on the bloody knuckles that wrap around your shoulders.

“Yeah.”

—

The ride home is quiet, slightly awkward, and extremely uncomfortable. The streetlights illuminate the streets, the blood on Matt’s busted knuckles glistening every time he grips the wheel and takes a turn. Chris played music in an attempt to break the tension, but even that doesn’t help.

Once you’re finally at their house, the initial shock wears off. Nick and Chris are quick to go to their rooms, the entire night having drained them both socially and emotionally. Matt makes his way to the restroom, allowing the warm water to run across his hands. He winces at the feeling, watching as a pool of red forms in the sink. You’re upset, even if you shouldn’t be, so you follow Matt in hopes of getting answers.

“So are you gonna tell me what happened tonight?” you prod, leaning against the door frame. He doesn’t look up from the sink, instead running gentle fingers across his hands to wash the blood off.

“Nothing to say,” he replies sternly with a nonchalant shrug. In reality he had everything to say.

“Oh so you didn’t beat Erik to a bloody pulp?”

“No, I definitely did,” a smirk tugs at his lips.

“Okay… Why?” Matt was avoiding the question like the plague, not only because what Erik said is something he never wanted to repeat, but because it came with uncharted territory.

“Just…” his voice trails off as he turns the sink off, grabbing a nearby towel and drying his hands. He winces again at the applied pressure.

“You don’t get to ‘just’ me, Matt. Why!?” you’re raising your voice at this point, stepping into the bathroom and shutting the door behind you in the process. If Nick and Chris were asleep, you didn’t want to wake them.

“He was being a douche, okay?” Matt’s response is lame and he knows it. “I didn’t like what he was saying about you,” he continues without getting into detail, he was just trying to protect you and if that was such a crime he’d happily go to jail for it.

“I’m a big girl Matt. I told you I can take care of myself,” you scoff. Matt slumps onto the toilet seat, wishing he could just pull you onto his lap and hug the conversation away. “You always do this shit. You protect me like I’m a helpless little girl. We’re not eight anymore, Matt.”

“Sorry?” he replies, a sardonic tone evident in his voice.

“I DON’T NEED YOU TO FIGHT MY BATTLES, MATT!”

Matt sighs, he’s not in the mood for this right now.“He’s just a fucking dickhead, Y/n. He doesn’t deserve you. Plus, that bitchass pussy had it coming,” Matt replies, his voice remaining stern and steady. He didn’t want to raise his voice at you, but he knows it’s bound to happen with the way the conversation is progressing.

“WHY DO YOU CARE, THOUGH? WHY DOES IT MATTER SO MUCH TO YOU??” your hands are thrown up in exasperation, desperately trying to squeeze the answers out of him.

“Because you’re my friend.”

“No, Matt. Why?”

“BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU, OKAY? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR? THAT I’M MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU? THAT I HAVE BEEN SINCE WE WERE KIDS AND I JUST—” he takes a deep breath, adjusting his volume and continuing in a defeated tone, “just forget I said anything, Y/n.”

The room is silent, so unbearably silent that Matt’s ears are ringing. His cheeks are flushed, almost as red as his knuckles. Your heart is pounding out of your chest. Small, quick breaths falling from your lips as you process everything he just said.

“You love me?” your voice is hushed, almost inaudible. When Matt looks up at you, he sees the twinkle in your eye as the tears brim your waterline. “Yes, I love you,” he affirms, it’s simple but true.

“Oh Matt,” you cup his face, suddenly it all made sense. All the times he chased away your boyfriends, complained about a fling, commented on a new friend, it all made sense with this new revelation.

“I get it if you don’t feel the same. You don’t have to pity me—” You cut Matt off with a passionate kiss, it’s the only thing you can think to do. He’s shocked at first, but he melts into the kiss once it registers.

His hands travel to the back of your thighs, legs spreading as he pulls you in closer to him. He moans into the kiss, unable to contain his excitement.

Matt’s tongue finds its way into your mouth, his grip on your thighs becoming stronger with each passing second almost like he’s afraid that if he lets go you’ll disappear. You only pull away to catch your breath, whispering four long awaited words into his lips, “I love you, Matt.”

Strong hands tug you back in for another passionate kiss, the pain in his knuckles suddenly vanishing as he relishes in this newfound feeling.

He’s never letting you go again.

—

MASTERLIST

A/n: it’s been a while guys 😋💃🏻

thank you sweet anons for the requests, I combined them because they were very similar & I hope I did them justice!

-L.A.M.B👼🏻💗

—

taglist: @nicksmainbitch @sturniololovers @mayhem-72 @worldlxvlys @gnxosblog @meg-sturniolo @creamoncreamoncream2 @mattnchrisworld @sanyi5 @lustfulslxt @whicked-hazlatwhore @tworosesblackthorn @mxqdii @fawned01 @junnniiieee07 @sturniolololover @missriddle03

note: if you want to be tagged in my fanfic related posts, you can access my TAGLIST and comment 💐

#teapartyanonreqs✨💗 #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew x reader #matt x y/n #matt x reader #matthew sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo #matthew bernard sturniolo #sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo oneshot #matthew sturniolo x y/n #matthew sturniolo oneshot #matthew sturniolo fanfic #matthew sturniolo imagine #matthew sturniolo fanfiction #matthew sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo headcannons #chris sturniolo fanfic #christopher sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo imagine #chris x y/n #chris

[lazysimp]

Dark Clouds (+18) /// Shoto x Male Reader

Click HERE to read the Fem version

Rating: Explicit 18+ Only Minors DNI

Summary:  You love Shoto more than anything but what if you were the only thing standing in between him and his dreams? Smut+Angst

A prequel to Cloud Nine.

Word count: 3k+

Warnings/tags: Angst, Blackmail, Morning Sex, Breakup, Soft Dom Shoto, Praise, Explicit sexual content, Oral sex (receiving), He/Him pronouns, All characters are adults.

masterlist┃AO3

“Oh fuck Shoto! Please just a little more,” You beg, your back arching off the bed as you push his head down. Your fiancé had made it a habit to wake you up with his mouth on your cock, licking up your cum like it was his last meal.

After living together for a month you thought he would finally start to calm down but his need for you had only grown. He had barely left the apartment, deciding to take a vacation to spoil you instead of working on climbing the ranks. You tried to convince him to focus more on his career, but he would drop to his knees every time you brought it up.

“I love this pretty cock,” He groaned, swiping his tongue over your tender glands as more precum leaked from your slit. His lips closed around your tip, sucking it into his mouth while his fingers teased your tight hole.

You yelp and clench your thighs, caging in his head but he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, your soft thighs against his ears sent him into a frenzy. He thrust his long fingers into you, curling them up to press against your sweet spot.

Your body bolts up, curling around his head but he continued on, never giving you an ounce of mercy. With your head directly above his, the lewd sounds of his mouth filled your ear, sending you further down the rabbit hole.

He released your cock from his mouth and moved to your hole to gather more of your addicting taste with his tongue. “My baby has such a good hole. So tight and hot, and it’s all mine.”

You let out a whine at his praise, you wanted to always belong to him. To never leave his side as he rose to meet his dreams.

He added a third lubed finger into your ass, stretching you open in preparation for his cock. You hiss at the slight burn but it fades quickly as his expert fingers began to fall in temperature, soothing the ache. He had always been so considerate during sex, always making sure you were well stretched before he ever tried to enter you.

The first time the two of you had sex was not the greatest but it was a moment in your life you would never forget. For hours he explored your body, experimenting and exploring you to understand exactly what you liked. By the end of the night, you were both absolutely exhausted, barely able to move.

His tongue returned to your cock, teasing the side of it with the tongue as his fingers continue to pump into your ass. Your breathing grows frantic and your body becomes tight as the pleasure swelled inside you. You could feel your thighs tremble around his head and your hands shake.

He smiled as your sweet hole trembled around his fingers, his baby was close. Remembering to not speed up he kept his movements consistent, listening for your little mewls to direct his touch.

As your breathing grew more labored and body tense he took you all the way into his mouth, sucking to pull every last ounce of pleasure from you. It was the final straw, he watched in awe as you fell apart. Your ass milking his fingers while your cock pulsed in his mouth with each spurt of cum.

Normally he would keep his mouth on your cock, cleaning up your orgasm with his tongue but he had to be at work in twenty minutes. Grudgingly he moved his mouth from your sex and rose to his knees. He gently slid his hands under you and flipped you over, exposing your mouthwatering ass to his view.

Holding his breath to stop from cumming, he lifted your hips up and pushed your back down. It looked as though you were presenting yourself to him. While he loved watching your face as you cum, this view definitely had its perks.

Lining his tip with your entrance he watched himself sink into you. Your cute moans filling his ears, serenading him as he bottomed out. Wanting a better view, he grabbed your ass with his large hands and spread it open, exposing your tight rosebud. He ignored your squeal of protest and started to thrust, watching you take his cock so perfectly.

Each thrust into your tight heat drove him further into insanity. He would never grow tired of this, tired of you. He still wasn’t sure how he managed to get you to agree to marry him, it still felt unreal, like someone was going to rip the floor out from under him. Something as good as you never happened to someone like him, something always messed it up.

“Shoto,” You whine, dragging him out of his thoughts. “Fuck, I need more.”

Determined to have you cum around his cock he reached around and wrapped his hand around the base of your cock. He let out a sly grin watching your body jerk as he thrust his hand, knowing the extra stimulation would send you right over the edge.

“Please, Shoto, please,” You begged, the tight coil inside your chest reeling tighter with each lazy pump of his hand. You lose the ability to speak, only moans leaving your lips.

“That’s it, that is my good boy. So perfect for me. I want you to cum on my cock while I watch,” He says hoarsely behind you. That was all it took, the spring inside you snapped sending you spiraling into oblivion.

Your toes curl in uncontrollably as you scream into the pillow, the brutal waves of pleasure crashing into you. You couldn’t even breathe as your rode out each pulsing wave. His hand did not stop milking your cock, instead teasing you through the high. Making you ride the wave as long as possible before his thrusts started to fall out of rhythm.

You lay face down into the bed, exhausted as he finally falls apart. You could feel his cock pulse inside you as his cum fills you. Once he finally finished he rolled off the top and laid next to you, pulling you into his arms.

You both lay there for a few minutes, not needing words as you recover from the morning quickie. Shoto pushed himself up on his elbows and placed a soft kiss on your forehead. He then stood out of bed and started to get ready. You lie in bed and watch as he dons his uniform and smooths out his sex hair.

“I should be home for dinner today, I am only scheduled to patrol until five.”

You nod, “Do you want to go out? Mina said the new soba place was really good.”

Shoto flashed you a warm smile, “I would love that, I’ll see you tonight.”

You push up on your elbows to meet his lips for one last kiss before he leaves. No matter how many times you kissed him, he always managed to take your breath away. You bring your hand up to his cheek as he slowly pulled away and looked into his eyes.

“Please be safe.”

He tilts his head into your hand, giving you some of its weight. “Don’t worry, I promise I will always come back to you.”

You drop your hand and lay back down, watching as he leaves the confines of the bedroom, and listened for the front door to close. Slipping on one of your lazy shirts, you make your way to the kitchen. You grab a few ingredients and cook a quick breakfast, eating it while you watch the news. Thankfully there was nothing big going on in the city, only a few petty criminals.

Shoto was more capable of taking care of himself but it was hard not to worry. You knew what you signed up for when you agreed to go out with Shoto, but he made all the stress and worry worth it.

You sit at the small counter and eat your breakfast. You avoid scheduling anything on your days off just in case they let Shoto off early so you had nothing planned. You put your dishes in the sink and start to collect some laundry, you could at least clean up some before you rested.

A loud buzz filled the apartment signaling someone was wanting to come up. You drop off the laundry and click on the speaker. Shoto had chosen this apartment because of the added security measures in place. No one could come up to the floor without a key or explicit permission.

“Hello?” You say into the small mic, unsure who would be asking to come up. Shoto hadn’t mention anyone planning on coming over.

“Can I come up?” The deep powerful voice of Endeavor said to the mic.

For a brief moment, your heart stopped. You tried to frantically think of what to say but no words came to mind. You had only ever met him once and you had Shoto by your side. You know he does not approve of your relationship with Shoto, after all, Shoto is going to be one of the world’s strongest heroes and you were well you.

“Just a minute,” You say to buy time as you debate whether or not to call Shoto. On one hand, having him by your side would keep Endeavor in line but on the other, you should be able to handle being around your fiance’s father. After all once you get married he will be family.

You suck in a stabilizing breath and call down to the front desk to give Endeavor permission to come up. While you waited for him to arrive you run to the bedroom and quickly put on a more presentable outfit. You still wanted to call Shoto, to have his supporting hand at the small of your back as you talk to the flame hero.

Three stern knocks signaled that Endeavor had arrived. You turn the knob and ignore the dread filling your stomach, you could do this. Endeavor knew better than to hurt you, he probably just wanted to talk about your engagement.

You stood frozen in the doorway and stare at the flame hero. He did not have any of his usual fire blazing, letting you see his natural hair better. Without his flames or hero uniform, he was a lot less intimidating.

You plaster on your best smile, “Please, come in.”

He steps into your shared apartment and takes off his shoes. You smile, this was definitely a good start. You both silently make your way to the dining room and sit. You were unsure what you need to do so you sit silently and wait.

Endeavor cleared his throat, “This is a very nice place the two of you share. Shoto chose well.”

You give a cautious smile, “I do really love this apartment. I have never lived somewhere with a view as nice as this one and it is easy for both of us to get to work from here.”

Endeavor nodded, “I won’t waste any more of your time, pretending to be here for a visit. I am sure you have seen the news lately. Shoto has fallen over two spots in rank compared to last year. After evaluating his skills and performance in the field, my agency has determined that his fall in rank is due to the amount of time he is taking off.”

You stiffen in your seat, scared of where this is going to go.

“I allowed this relationship to continue as it was not worth getting Shoto upset with my interference, but this is going too far. You are ruining his chances at becoming the number one hero.”

Your mouth dropped open in shock, “Excuse me!”

Endeavor reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small booklet. He opens it to reveal a single check. He pushes it over to you, the box for the amount was blank.

“You fill out how much you want to leave this relationship.”

“You can’t be serious, what kind of person do you think I am?”

Endeavor’s face held no emotion, “How much?”

Your face twists in anger, “Fuck you! I’m not leaving Shoto, not for any amount of money. You can take this check and shove it-”

“If you do not leave I will be forced to take action.”

A rush of fear runs through you, “What do you mean?”

Endeavor sighed, “I let Shoto leave my agency with the understanding that he would still work to climb his way to the top. He is no longer doing this. If he continues like this I will have to call up the agency he is working at and have him removed from their staff.”

“Removed, you mean fired. You will have him fired because he is going to marry me?” Your throat began to grow tight as the world started to close in around you.

“I am going to have him removed because he can’t do his job properly and be with you.”

You begin to shake, “And how is that going to help him become the number one hero?”

“Simple, he will have to come work for me again. Under my influence, he will take over the number one spot in no time.”

“You know he hates working for you. He loves the agency he is working at, you would rip that way from him?”

Endeavor’s flames started to sprout, “I have seen too many heroes with potential never amount to anything because of relationships like yours. I will be damned if the same happens to Shoto.”

“So I will talk to Shoto about not taking as much time off.” You try to reason.

Endeavor shakes his head, “It is far too late for that. It is not just me who is taking notice to his slacking. If he continues to behave the way he is, I won’t even need to make the call to have him removed. If you want him to not have to work for me you will leave him or all of this will be your fault.”

Endeavor stands to his full height, “After today if I see you anywhere with him he will come to work for me whether he wants to or not.”

He leaves you to sit alone in the apartment. You sit still in your chair, unsure what to think. How could a morning that started so perfect end up like this? You somehow managed not to cry, too focused on figuring out what to do.

You know Shoto loved you, he made sure to tell you almost every day, but could he love you if it meant he had to do something he hated? He loved working at the agency with Inasa and others. The time he spent working under his dad was some of the most miserable of his life.

The entire reason the two of you even met was that he went out with his friends to celebrate finally leaving his father’s agency. How could you ask him to stay with you if it meant returning to misery?

With no one to turn to you flip on the tv, needed background noise as you try to find a solution. You could not ask Mina or Kirishima for help, they would spill to Shoto the minute you told them. If he even caught a hint at what was going on he would go berserk.

You had only ever seen him mad once when a fan tried to throw something at you. His entire demeanor changed from quiet and calm into a simmering rage. He would have easily laid out the fan but you somehow managed to calm him enough to convince him to go home. He had spent hours fucking you to get out his rage. By the time he was back to normal your entire body was covered in hickeys and bruises.

You shake your head to clear your mind of, this was not time to think about sex. You look around the apartment you share with Shoto and feel tears begin to well in your eyes. You didn’t want to leave him. Being with him these past few months had been the happiest of your life. You had never loved someone like you loved him.

Could you live with yourself if you had to watch the beautiful light in his eyes fade if he worked for Endeavor? In the dark of night, Shoto would confide in you about his childhood. How his father only saw him as a tool to overcome All Might. If you stayed with him he would have to be around that mindset every day.

Shoto deserved happiness, even if it was not with you. He was young and handsome, he could easily find someone else. You know it will be hard on him but you could not live with yourself if you had to watch him grow to be miserable.

You lift your chin up, you had to break up with Shoto, it was the only option.

You turn to the bedroom and grab a duffel bag you used moving in. You had to move your stuff out before he got home. You know if he had time he would be able to convince you to stay.

You haphazardly pack away your clothes, not bothering to fold the piles as you shove them into the bag. You would only be able to pack a bag without a car to move.

The small click of a lock stopped you dead in your tracts. No, he wasn’t supposed to be home for at least another hour. The bag drops out of your fingers and you run to the living room. He was standing in the kitchen with the fridge open. He did always get hungry after patrol.

He turned his head at the sound of your footsteps and smiled. Your heart finally broke in half, you were never going to have this again. Deep sobs tore up your throat and before you could stop them fat tears began to fall.

Shoto’s face filled with panic and he rushed over to you, wrapping his strong arms around your waist and pulling you into his chest.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his voice filled with panic.

This only makes you cry harder, you didn’t want to do this. The weight of your loss grew stronger as his hold tightened.

“W-we have to break up,” You incoherently sob into his chest.

“Baby, I don’t understand what you are saying, can you look at me?” He gently bruised his hand up your forehead pushing your head back so he could look into your eyes.

Your lower lip trembles but you somehow manage to speak, “I am calling off the engagement, I can’t do this anymore.”

You watch as his face drops, his eyes wide with confusion, “Baby, what are you talking about? What is wrong, did something happen when I was gone?”

You shake your head, “I can’t do this anymore.” Lie. “Being with you is exhausting.” Lie. “I thought you were the one but I was wrong.” Lies, lies, lies. You hate every word that comes from your lips but this had to hurt. You had to make him hate you, it was the only way.

He drops the arms that once held you close to him, “I don’t, I don’t understand? We were fine this morning, what happened?” His blue eyes were glossy with unfallen tears.

You wrapped your arms tight around your waist for mock comfort. “I-I have been thinking about this since you proposed, I can’t handle dating a hero it is too much stress. I am m-miserable.”

Watching Shoto struggle to speak as he processed what you said hurt more than just ripping your own heart out.

“Why didn’t you say something sooner? Why did you let this go on for so long if you felt that way?”

You shake your head, “I thought I would get used to it, but it has only gotten worse.”

“But this morning and every day before that you never said anything. You seemed happy.” He turned his back to you and walked towards the kitchen.

“Why now? What changed?”

You needed to end this before he asked any more questions, you let thick walls close around your heart and go for the kill, “Because I don’t love you anymore.”

His entire face crumbles as if you had stabbed him. Unable to look at him any longer you grab your duffel from the bedroom. You take one last look at the bedroom, the bed still a mess after this morning.

The weight of your loss was so suffocating you couldn’t even breathe as you walk past Shoto. He stood still in the living room unmoving in shock. He blinked strongly a few times like he was trying to wake up from a terrible nightmare.

You reach the front door “I am going to stay at Mina’s if you need anything. I’m so sorry Shoto.”

This was for the best, he could receiver from losing you. You were only in his life for a few months but his dream of being a hero had been lifelong. This breakup will only be a road bump in his journey to success. You knew he will reach the top, it just won’t be with you.

#todoroki shouto #mha male reader #shoto x male reader #bhna male reader #todoroki shouto x male reader #todoroki shoto x reader #todoroki shoto #bhna #mha #shoto x y/n #shouto x reader #shouto x y/n #Male reader #male reader smut #todoroki x reader #male reader insert #male reader imagine #todoroki x male reader #buko no hero academia #bhna x reader #bhna smut #mha x reader #mha x male reader #bnha shouto #mha shouto x reader #shoto smut

[butterflyyeo]

drunk in love

pairing - yeosang x fem reader

genre - fluff, angst (?)

tw - lots of alcohol consumption, swearing

wc - 10k

side ships - seongjoong, yungi

a/n -- was meant to be angst but turned into fluff... im trying my best to get better at writing angst aaaah. but please enjoy this for now <3 thanks for letting me tag you @iminchaosnow !!

------------------------------------------- you had known kang yeosang for nearly two years now. two, dreadfully slow and exhausting years.it was your final year of high school when he transferred to your school, he was a close family friend of wooyoung's. his parents had spoken highly of the school, insisting that yeosang transfers in order to excel for his last year of schooling. as far as you were concerned, he had decent grades, but he preferred to spend his time hanging around the skatepark after dark, when everyone else had left.

and in all the two years you'd known him, you had never once had a full conversation with him, despite being in your group of friends. his side of the 'conversation' usually consisted of monotonous 'yeahs' and 'mhms'. wooyoung constantly assured you it was because he's shy and that he'd eventually open up. but you weren't convinced. you tried so hard for him to like you, but your efforts were fruitless. it was infuriating, feeling like you were constantly doing something wrong whenever you were around him.

you currently found yourself in the backseat of yeosang's car, wedged between a drunken yunho and mingi while a chaotic wooyoung was singing along to his chosen playlist. (though, it sounded more like wailing.)

you and the eight boys had all decided to take a gap year, spend every last cent you earned on adventure and alcohol to make lifelong memories, before your careers became a blockade in your friendship. but the year was coming to an end soon, it was already mid november. on the bright side, that meant your favourite holidays were just weeks away.

yeosang was always the designated driver. that was something you had noticed about him over the last few years. to be honest, you weren't sure just how he coped with a screeching wooyoung, because you sure as hell weren't dealing very well with yunho and mingi who were playing a very intense game of rock paper scissors to decide who would be crashing on the couch in your apartment.

"i win!" mingi cheered, waving his hands excitedly. "you're on the couch, man."

yunho frowned, "damn."

you laughed, "it's okay, yunho. you can share the bed with me if you'd like."

"hey! that's not fair y/n! you said i could this time." wooyoung whined from the front seat.

"sorry, woo. you know i keep my promises, but you're going back to your apartment. remember?" you tried to reason.

wooyoung looked as though someone had switched a lightbulb on behind his eyes, "oh yeah! i forgot."

the four of you burst into laughter, mainly caused by the alcohol and partially because of wooyoung's realisation. and still, yeosang didn't crack a smile, hands just gripping the steering wheel tighter as his knuckles turned white.

soon, you arrived outside your apartment block, quickly stepping out the car after yunho. wooyoung wound his window down and you poked your head in, attempting to hug him goodbye.

"bye woo!" you said, giggling at your faltered farewell.

"good night y/n, thanks for the drinks!" he shouted, exclaiming a bit too loudly next to your ear.

"thanks for the lift as always, yeosang!" you yelled, pulling away from wooyoung's tight hug.

he nodded, "no problem." before putting the window up and driving away.

you pouted, turning around to face the two boys. "i just don't understand what i'm doing wrong." you buried your face into your hands, "why doesn't he like me?" you groaned.

"y/n." mingi began, "its nearly 1am, its way too late for this 'why does yeosang hate me?' crap." he shook your shoulders, literally trying to shake some sense into you.

"yeah, mingi's right. we've had this discussion a thousand times." yunho said grasping your wrist and pulling you up the stairs, stumbling along the way. (because lets be real, stairs are difficult enough as it is, let alone when drunk.) "now, let us into your apartment so we can eat your food and crash on your couch!" he joked, nudging mingi in a playful manner.

you reached into your pocket and fumbled around with they key for a moment before unlocking the door. the boys practically pushed you inside and made a beeline for the fridge.

"help yourselves! i'm going to shower." you called, dragging yourself to your bedroom.

once you'd finished showering you went back to the living room to check on yunho and mingi. not so much to your surprise, they had fallen asleep on your couch already, cuddled up into each other. it was cute, even picture worthy to show their sober selves. you reached for your phone which typically lived in your pocket, though you began to panic when it wasn't there. hurrying around the apartment, you searched every possible nook and cranny for your phone, but it was nowhere to be found. you collapsed onto your bed, snuggling into the soft sheets, too tired to worry about your phone anymore and content with the assumption that you'd left it in yeosang's car.

shortly, your heavy eyes fell shut and you began to sleep away the tequila.

————————

the next morning you awoke to mingi and yunho's deep, hungover voices, discussing their plans for the next week.

you reluctantly pulled yourself out of bed and dawdled down the hallway.

"ah! there's our favourite karaoke partner!" yunho greeted, jokingly.

you laughed, "shh, don't let wooyoung hear you say that."

"she's right, man. he'd be so offended." mingi said, stretching out his sore limbs. "how are you feeling today, y/n?" he asked.

"not the worst hangover i've had. what about you guys? you're welcome to stay here as long as you'd like, until you feel better." you replied, knowing them well enough to know that they'd need at least a few painkillers and a good meal before they went home.

yunho chuckled, "i feel like crap, but nothing a sandwich and glass of water can't solve."

"i second that." mingi said, raising a hand.

"okay, well in that case, i'll go to the store and get something for breakfast. sound good?" you reasoned, running a hand through your hair. you loved these boys, and making them breakfast was just a nice way of showing you cared. drunk or not, they knew how to make you smile and laugh, which they loved to see.

"sounds amazing!" yunho said, breaking into a sincere smile.

you quickly changed out of your pyjamas and slipped some shoes on.

"i might be a bit longer, i need to stop by yeosang's. i think i left my phone in his car." you explained, picking your keys up from the kitchen counter. "see you guys soon! feel free to take a shower if you want." you said, waving goodbye and heading out the door.

"okay, bye y/n!" the boys called from behind you.

the first stop was yeosang's apartment, he only lived about ten minutes away with wooyoung and san, in the same building as jongho. both yunho and mingi lived on the other side of town, which is why they so often crashed at your place after parties. seonghwa and hongjoong were fortunate enough to live in a house, just outside town, they had actually been the hosts of last night's party.

it didn't take long to get there. you pushed open the lobby door and made your way over to the elevator, disappointed to see that it was out of order for maintenance. instead, you took the stairs and began spiralling upwards. less than a minute later you looked up, only to bump into the man you came looking for.

"oh, yeosang! i'm so sorry, i didn't mean to." you quickly apologised, worried about creating another reason for him to dislike you.

"it's fine." he shrugged.

you both began to talk again at the same time, "ah, sorry, you go."

"i was just gonna say, you left your phone in my car. actually, i was about to bring it back." he pulled your phone from the pocket of his jacket, handing it to you. as he did, your fingers brushed against his. he spun around suddenly and began to walk away, "i'll see you around."

he had left before you even had a chance to thank him. slightly confused and frustrated, you turned back around and traipsed down the stairs.

you gathered what you needed for a hearty breakfast at the local convenience store before heading home and spending the rest of the day in the enjoyable company of yunho and mingi.

yeosang had entered back into his apartment and sat down on the couch.

"back already?" wooyoung asked, rummaging through the fridge.

"she was coming to get her phone and i ran into her on the staircase."

wooyoung sighed, "when are you gonna stop hating her?"

"i don't hate her." yeosang said, not looking up from his phone.

"then why do you act like you do?"

yeosang pretended to not hear that question and continued to scroll through his phone. see, he'd rather not dwell on things that he couldn't understand.

————————

to fill up your weekdays during your gap year, you had picked up a job at a hotel in town as a receptionist. to your dismay, your boss had asked you to work night shift all week, which is how you found yourself here on thursday night, sitting alert and waiting for the slight chance that someone might check in at this time of night. it was a pretty fancy hotel, and the job payed well enough, so really, you had nothing to complain about.

the nights seemed to drag on for an eternity. to keep yourself busy, you often wasted time counting the cars that drove past, or tried to count the number of crystals that hung from the chandelier. so far, only a few people had checked in during your shift, having come from overseas and recently arriving at the airport. honestly, whenever someone walked through the front door, lugging a suitcase behind them, you got excited as it gave you something to do.

the clock was creeping up to 4am and you let out a quiet yawn, feeling drowsy as your body clock hadn't yet adjusted to the change of sleeping patterns on such short notice. taking a sip of water, you shook your head, trying to stay awake. your head suddenly jolted up at the sound of the front door opening.

a man stumbled forward, and you'd seen enough zombie movies to become instantly paranoid. you quickly pushed the thought out of your head, feeling ridiculous for even considering it. but as the man got closer, you could smell the cheap, potent alcohol lingering on his body.

he leant against the desk, peering down at you. "i need a room for the night."  he grumbled. "my stupid wife kicked me out." he said under his breath.

you forced a friendly smile, despite feeling uneasy, "of course! i just need you to fill in this form with some simple details." you said, sliding across a clipboard and a pen.

he huffed, picking up the pen and scribbling onto the sheet of paper before pushing it back to you. "can i go now?"

"just a moment, sir." you replied, eyes skimming over the form as you copied the information into the computer in front of you.

the man was growing impatient, stepping from foot to foot with his arms crossed.

"uh, sir, you missed a part of the form. could you please provide your phone number here." you pointed to the empty space on the sheet.

"for fucks sake." he muttered, "i don't have my phone on me and i don't know my phone number." he said, annoyedly tapping on the desk.

"i'm really sorry, sir, but—"

"can't you just find me a fucking room?" he snapped, hands balled into fists and slamming against the desk, making you jump in fright.

before you had time to try and reason with him, he continued to shout.

"you're as stupid as my wife! i'll just find a different fucking hotel." he yelled, swiping the clipboard and pen off the desk. "useless bitch." he mumbled as he kicked over a chair on his way out.

you chewed your bottom lip, trying to fight back the tears. with shaky hands, you picked up your phone and dialled the first place that came to mind. after a few rings, the phone answered.

"woo?" you croaked, trying hard to not cry.

"he's asleep. this is yeosang." he replied, evidently having just woken up by the sound of his voice.

"oh." you began, instantly feeling guilty for waking him up, "i'm sorry i didn't mean to disturb you."

"did you need something?" he asked.

"i just, i was..." you let out a sob, wiping at a tear falling from your eye.

this didn't go unnoticed by yeosang, "are you crying? what are you doing awake right now anyway?"

"i'm at work." you managed to choke out.

"at 4am?"

"i'm on night shift."

"why are you crying then?" he asked, feeling something slightly tug at his heart, but choosing to ignore it.

you began to ramble, "a man came in and he was really drunk and complaining about his wife and then he yelled at me because i asked him to give his phone number and—"

"i'm on my way." yeosang cut you off.

"what?"

"i'll be there in ten." with that, he hung up the phone.

exactly ten minutes later, you were sat in the passenger seat of yeosang's car. he was dressed in sweats, clearly having come straight from bed. you'd left a note on the desk, explaining to your coworker why you wouldn't be there when she arrived to take over your shift. a silence filled the car, and you felt the need to talk, but chose not to, worried about giving yeosang another reason to hate you.

once you arrived outside your apartment building, you were surprised that yeosang got out the car too and trailed closely behind you up the stairs to your apartment. when you reached the door you spun around to face him.

"thank you for bringing me home." you said, voice quiet and still rather shaken up.

"it's no problem. good night, y/n." he replied, sensing that you were still upset. he suddenly felt this overwhelming urge to wrap his arms around you tightly and not let go until you stopped crying. he wanted to protect you from every drunk idiot on the planet. he wanted to make you feel safe.

but instead, he watched as you closed the door behind you and locked it from inside.

————————

you arrived at work the next morning, instantly feeling more comfortable with cleaners, employees and people coming and going. immediately, you headed for your boss's office.

"good morning, sir. i just wanted to come and apologise for leaving my shift early last night. i can assure you it won't happen again." you said, feeling nervous as to what your boss might say.

he shook his head, "i should be the one apologising, a man came in this morning and spoke very sternly about the safety problems here. i realise now how stupid it was of me to make you work night shift, alone, at such a young age. we've hired security guards and have also made sure that two people will be on desk at all times. i'm sorry that you had to deal with that."

you were at a loss for words, you didn't think that there would be such drastic changes just from the once incident. "thank you so much." you replied.

"for now, take the rest of the day off. you'll only be working day shifts for next week and can return to doing night shifts whenever you feel ready to do so." your boss said, motioning for the door.

the rest of the day you spent in deep sleep, catching up on some much overdue rest.

———————

weeks passed and you found that work was much more enjoyable. you still hadn't returned to working night shifts, but at least now you had someone to run the front desk with you and keep you company.

this weekend, you were going to visit hongjoong and seonghwa. hongjoong was sick and so you decided to go help out since seonghwa couldn't always be there to look after him.

you knocked on their front door and was surprised to be greeted by san.

"good afternoon! come in." he gave you a hug before ushering you inside.

"what are you doing here?" you said, following him down the hall.

in the living room, you saw all eight of the boys gathered around a couch-ridden hongjoong.

"jongho was already here when me, yeosang and woo arrived." san explained.

"yeah, and then mingi and yunho turned up." wooyoung continued.

"y/n! i have never been more glad to see you! you gotta save me from them." hongjoong laughed, arms open, signalling for a hug.

you went over and embraced him in a hug, "good thing i brought an excessive amount of cookies." you said, placing the box of cookies on the coffee table next to the couch. the table was covered in empty mugs and bowls, you could tell seonghwa had been busy and hadn't had the chance to clean up. you opened up the box and handed him a cookie before offering them around to the rest of the boys.

"you're the best cook ever." mingi said, taking a big bite.

"i made you spaghetti last night!" yunho countered, feeling offended that his roommate didn't think he was the better cook. mingi just laughed and took another bite.

"jongho get off the counter, please." seonghwa said, coming through the front door. "don't be so comfortable, you were throwing up in my toilet like a month ago." he joked.

yeosang glanced your way, his eyebrows furrowed like he was contemplating something.

"lets head off and give these two some space." yunho said, dragging mingi behind him.

wooyoung stood up, "yeah, lets get going."

yeosang pulled his keys from his pocket, "okay, bye guys." he said, heading down the hallway.

"can we get some food on the way home?" you heard san call as they left.

"bye hongjoong! i hope you're feeling better soon." jongho said, "bye seonghwa, i promise i won't throw up in your toilet any time soon." he joked, leaving through the front door.

"seonghwa, how are you? don't forget to take some time for yourself as well." you frowned.

"i'm tired, but i'll be okay. i just gotta clean up and—"

"why don't you go rest a while? i can keep hongjoong company for a few hours." you reasoned, wanting to help as much as possible. there was nothing you hated more than seeing you friends in distress and upset.

he looked between hongjoong and yourself, "i couldn't."

hongjoong let out an audible huff, "hwa! will you just let her help please, she clearly wants to."

you grinned, "exactly, now go read or sleep or watch some tv or something." you said, gently pushing him towards their shared bedroom.

you spent the afternoon tidying up and talking with hongjoong. you managed to do all the dishes and put them away before scouring their kitchen, deciding on what you could use for dinner. you found everything you needed for a decent meal and began cooking it up. hongjoong had dozed off mid conversation, surrounded in a pile of tissues, you chose to let him sleep so he would recover quicker.

about an hour later, you placed two steamy hot meals onto their dining table next to two full glasses of water. you quietly knocked on their bedroom door, finding seonghwa asleep amongst the covers.

you gently shook him awake, "hwa, i made dinner for you guys. you can wake joong up, i'll head off now." you said with a smile.

leaving the two of them to enjoy their dinner, you headed home and cooked yourself something to eat. it was nice having some time to yourself, but saturday nights were becoming more and more empty as winter grew closer. december was only days away and the year would soon come to an end. you reached for the phone, suddenly desperately missing your friends despite only seeing them hours ago.

"hey woo, are you free next weekend?" you asked.

he paused a moment, "i think so, why?"

"you wanna go out with the others? it's been a while since we have all caught up for drinks."

"count me in!" wooyoung cheered.

you called everyone else up and they all agreed, even hongjoong promised to come if he was feeling better.

————————

you found yourself surrounded by wooyoung, san, yunho and mingi as the music blared. it was a less popular club on the far side of town but it was a comfortable place for you all. you often came here for drinks and the staff members knew you, quite well, a little too well. san grabbed your hand and spun you around a few times with the music.

you laughed, leaning against him, "maybe spinning around isn't the best idea right after two shots of vodka."

"what?" san yelled into your ear, struggling to hear you over the music.

you laughed louder, pulling him closer to you, "i said, spinning is not a good idea after drinking vodka!"

"oh!" he joined you in laughing before trying to twirl you around once more.

hongjoong and seonghwa sat at the bar, holding hands and being intimate as always. yeosang was sat next to jongho at a booth, quietly talking with him, but from the corner of your eye, you saw jongho stand up and walk away. your eyes watched him worriedly and you couldn't help but run after him. you followed him as best you could, stumbling every now and then. he'd gone to the bathroom so you patiently waited outside until he came back, looking slightly pale.

you practically leapt at him, doing a quick scan to make sure he was okay, "jongho? are you alright?"

he smiled at your overwhelming concern, "yeah, i just drank too much as usual. i'll be alright, you can go back to dancing."

"let me just get you some water first. i'll be right back okay?" you patted his shoulder. "don't go anywhere i'll be back in a second."

you made your way back to where jongho had been sitting with yeosang. as you approached, yeosang eyed you up and down, taking in your drunken state, though, it wasn't the first time he'd seen you this way. you nearly tripped as you reached the table, struggling to walk in heels.

"i need a glass of water, do you have a glass of water? jongho needs a glass of water." you mumbled to yourself, reaching for the jug in the center of the table.

"are you okay?" yeosang asked, quickly pushing your hand away from the jug.

"i'm okay, but jongho needs water. can i take this cup? he's waiting for me, i told him not to go anywhere, i need to get back to jongho—" you tried to pick up a glass but yeosang pressed your hand back down once more.

"i'll take it to him, you stay here." he said, filling the cup full with water and heading towards the bathrooms.

your brain suddenly felt fuzzy and your eyes became blurry, it was like the alcohol hit your system all at once. your head spun round and round and you leaned forward, resting your hands on your head. you'd never felt this sick from drinking, maybe you'd had too much too quickly, maybe it was the spinning. there was no way to tell, all you knew was that you felt like you were about to fall from the top of a very high roller coaster.

your eyes felt increasingly heavy, you allowed them to slip shut, head falling to the table with a not so gentle thud.

"y/n?" someone shook you, "y/n wake up!" it was wooyoung.

"shit, is she okay? should we call an ambulance?" jongho said, reaching for his phone.

"is she breathing? has anyone checked?" seonghwa gently lifted your shoulders and sat you upright, relieved to see the rise and fall of your chest. "we should call a taxi and get her home."

"are you crazy? she's unconscious, she won't be able to get up the stairs to her apartment! what if the driver is dodgy? she's already had to deal with shitty men while working night shift, imagine if something happened while she's drunk!" yeosang blurted out. the boys were shocked over his sudden concern for you. yeosang had never once shown any interest or care for you in the presence of them.

"well, what should we do then?" mingi asked, worriedly running a hand through his hair.

"i'll take her, you've all been drinking." yeosang concluded. "she'll be fine, don't worry. enjoy the rest of your night, okay? i've dealt with woo passing out before remember?"

"that's true." san said, throwing a light hearted glare in wooyoung's direction, who showed a rather sheepish expression.

the boys went back to their drinks, taking it a little slower now and yeosang carried you to his car. it wasn't easy, but he managed to sit you upright in the back seat of his car with his rear view mirror aimed directly at you so he could make sure you were okay.

he was able to lift you up the stairs and get your house key from the pocket of your jacket, which would've looked questionable to anyone else, but he had the best intentions. he sat you down in a dining chair, watching as your head lolled forward and your body slumped. he quickly filled a glass of water and came back to you.

"y/n." he whispered, resting a hand on your shoulder. "y/n." he said again, louder this time.

the last thing he wanted to do was hurt you, but you weren't waking up and that was becoming concerning. he shook your shoulder, as gently as he possible could in a moment like this, and to his relief, your eyes hesitantly opened.

your head felt like a bowling ball and you groaned quietly. "yeosang?"

"here." he said holding the cup to your lips, allowing you to take a small sip.

"how did we get here?" you mumbled, head rolling to the side.

he caught your head and carefully pushed you back upright, "i drove you, this is your apartment."

"oh." you said, eyes drooping shut again. "oh." you repeated.

"y/n, i really need you to stay awake right now." he said, bringing the cup to your mouth again. "lets talk."

"we never talk!" you exclaimed. "this is the longest conversation we've ever had!"

"i know." he said, pulling up a chair to sit directly in front of you. yeosang felt that slight tug at his heart again tonight, the way you sounded so excited just to talk with him.

"no, no, no." you whined, "this is so bad!"

"what is it?"

you pouted before nervously biting your lip, "i'm really sorry."

"for what?" he questioned, leaning back in his chair.

"for ruining your night and making you stay here with me! now you just have another reason to hate me." you sighed, letting your head fall into your hands.

"i could never hate you." he said, voice barely above a whisper.

but you had fallen back asleep, so yeosang sat you upright once more and monitored you closely all night. with every minute that passed, he wished more and more that it was easier for him to show his emotions, to you especially. he wondered if maybe he wasn't so closed off that things would be different between the two of you. but it was hard for him, to let people in, he was afraid. afraid of people judging the real him, afraid of what might happen if he lets himself become vulnerable, afraid of facing his feelings about you.

you awoke hours later with a raging headache and extreme nausea. you headed straight for the bathroom and hunched over the toilet, feeling the sickest you'd ever felt. yeosang waited patiently outside the bathroom door with a glass of water and painkillers.

when you came out, he held his hand out, "take this."

you looked down at his hand and then up at him, slightly confused, "what are you doing here?"

"you passed out last night, and i drove you home because everyone else had been drinking." he said, passing the glass of water.

"oh my god." you ran a hand through your hair, "yeosang, i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to be any trouble! you must of been here all night, i promise it won't happen again, that was so stupid of me—"

"it's fine, don't worry about it." he said, shrugging, "i'll get going now, but make sure you take it easy and drink enough water." his eyes carefully scanned your body one last time, making sure you were really okay. he headed for the door and you followed.

"i'm really sorry." you frowned, feeling as though no amount of apologies would make it up to him.

he let out a slight chuckle, "it's okay, seriously y/n." he said before leaving. you heard the all too familiar jingle of his keys as the door closed behind him.

he'd stayed with you all night, eyes watching over you closely. ready at your side whenever you stirred in your sleep. he'd been there in the morning prepared with water and painkillers. this was never how it was, usually this was your job, taking care of the boys. it was your way of showing you cared, helping out wherever possible.

this wasn't like yeosang. at all.

————————

as soon as yeosang got home he was greeted by a very concerned san and wooyoung.

"is she okay?"

"are you tired?"

"did she wake up?"

he was bombarded by questions.

"she's okay, she fell asleep after a while and i made her take some painkillers when she woke up." yeosang said, collapsing onto the couch.

"so you really don't hate her then." wooyoung thought aloud.

"he can't, he spent the whole night looking after her!" san said, hitting wooyoung like it was obvious.

"owww," wooyoung rubbed his arm, "even she thinks you don't like her!"

"i know, she said last night. but she probably won't remember saying that." yeosang said, feeling increasingly drowsy from his lack of sleep.

"maybe you guys should like, talk things out?" san suggested, taking a seat next to him.

"maybe." yeosang said, drifting off into sleep.

you had spent the day curled up in bed, wondering how you could make it up to yeosang, and there was nothing more you wanted than to get to know him better, but what would he want? you called up san on that thought.

"hey sannie," you said, "i need your help, actually, is woo there as well?"

"oh my god she's alive!" you heard wooyoung call from beside san.

"what do you need help with?" san asked.

you paused a moment, "is yeosang there?"

"well yes, but he's asleep."

you groaned, "i feel so bad that he stayed up all night looking after me. i really wanna make it up to him but i don't know how. plus, it's not like he's that fond of me. maybe i should just thank him by staying out of his space."

"i don't think he'd like that." wooyoung interjected. "i still think he just needs time before opening up to you."

"i think its just me." you sighed, worriedly chewing on your bottom lip.

"hey! don't be like that! there's no reason to not like you." san scolded you for down talking yourself as he always does.

"agreed." wooyoung said, chiming in.

"i'm sure i'll work something out. thanks guys! enjoy the rest of your day!" you said.

"good luck!"

"bye y/n!"

————————

you had been staring at your phone for at least an hour, typing and retyping the message to yeosang. wooyoung gave you his number so that you could contact him when you'd finally worked out how to make it up to him. in the end, you decided that you would let him decide.

you drew in a sharp breath and squeezed your eyes tightly shut as you pressed send.

you: hey yeosang, i still feel really bad about the other day, i wanna know how i can make it up to you !!

yeosang: did wooyoung give you my number? T~T

you: yes he did.. i hope thats okay !

yeosang: of course yeosang: how about you make it up to me over a cup of coffee? >.<

you: that sounds great !! you: when are you free ?

yeosang: does tomorrow morning work for you ? i can pick you up ^_^

you: of course ! i'll see you tomorrow :)

yeosang sat in his room, facepalming. why was it so easy to be more open over text?

you on the other hand, felt your heart swell in a bizarre way. maybe it was the way you hadn't expected him to use such cute little emoticons. maybe it was the way that you'd be able to have a full conversation with him. whatever it was, excitement had taken over you.

————————

a knock pounded at your door and you rushed to open it.

"ready to go?" he asked, leaning against the door frame coolly.

"yes, lets go!" you said, sounding a little too excited.

the two of you made your way down the stairs and into yeosang's car. you found yourself smiling as you looked out the window.

your excitement hadn't gone unnoticed, "you seem awfully excited."

"i really wanted to make it up to you," you beamed. "it must've been boring to watch over me all night."

"i didn't mind so much." he said, shrugging.

you frowned, "you shouldn't of done it."

"and leave you passed out in the club?" he quirked an eyebrow up at you.

"well..."

"exactly." he said, parking the car outside a small cafe nearby his apartment. "come on, lets go inside."

you followed him in and took a seat across from him at a table close to the window. you both ordered coffees and resumed conversation.

"so, where were we?" you smiled, taking a sip of coffee.

"talking about how you wanted me to leave you passed out in the club." he said. you were almost convinced you saw a teasing smile pulling at his lips.

"right. i'm so sorry about that."

this time he actually chuckled, and you were taken aback. it was like the wall yeosang had surrounding himself was crumbling before your eyes.

"you need to apologise less." he laughed, bringing his coffee cup to his mouth for a sip. "half of the time we talk its just you saying sorry to me."

"i'm so—"

"hey!" the two of you broke into laughter.

his laugh was loud but warm and you couldn't help but notice the way his nose scrunched up cutely, the way his eyes looked full of stars and the way he brushed his hair out of his eyes after, revealing his beautiful birthmark. from that point on, you wanted to be the one to make him laugh every day.

he felt that familiar tug at his heart, the one he'd been feeling every moment he spent alone with you. the one he felt when he first met you. the one he couldn't make any sense of. it was as though his heart was a violin and you were the one playing it. (which would explain the tugging feeling.) but you were playing the sweetest song and he never wanted it to end.

the two of you laughed the morning away, gradually making up for what you'd missed over two years in a matter of two hours.

you'd discovered that even after getting him to open up more, he wasn't one for words. you found yourself talking his ear off while he listened intently, occasionally sharing his opinions and stories. in all his honesty, he didn't mind listening to you talk. he could've sat there all day, drinking countless cups of coffee, watching the way you bit your bottom lip whenever you paused to think or the way your eyes filled with sparkles when you talked about something that made you happy.

you insisted on paying for the infinite cups of coffee, as it was your way of making it up to him. he reluctantly agreed, but promised that he would pay if there ever was a next time, which he secretly hoped there would be. he'd finally had the chance to let his walls down. (it was actually more like you'd climbed the walls and torn them down with your bare hands.) but he was thankful for it.

he drove you back to your apartment, even after you persisted on walking home, seeing as it wasn't that far. he refused, insisting that he drive you. he even followed you up the stairs to the door of your apartment.

you turned around to face him, "you know, you're not so bad when you actually wanna talk to me."

"you know, you're not so bad when you're not drunk." he countered, his lips breaking into a playful grin.

you glared jokingly, "hey! don't make me apologise again."

"okay, okay. i won't." he said, raising his hands in defence.

you smiled, resting against the door, "alright, well, i've really enjoyed hanging out with you today. maybe we should catch up more often."

"maybe we should." he said, bearing a coy smile, "bye, y/n. i'll see you around."

————————

it was only about a week later he showed up at your work, at the end of your shift. you were pleasantly surprised to see him, and at first thought he was just someone coming to book a room.

"hello, are you looking for a r— yeosang?"

"when do you get off work?" he asked, glancing over to the clock.

"five minutes."

"i'll be waiting in the car, okay?" he said, turning on his heel and heading for the door.

on his way out, you saw as he ran into your boss, the two of them beginning conversation.

"it's good to see you've made those security changes." yeosang said as he nodded, extending his arm for a friendly handshake. "i'm very thankful."

your boss shook his hand, "and i'm thankful that you suggested them."

just over five minutes later you got into the passenger seat of yeosang's car.

"it was you who told my boss about the safety problems." you said, in near disbelief.

"hello, to you too." he joked sarcastically. "well, i would hate to think that the situation could happen again, so i just suggested some possible improvements. thats all." he shrugged like it was nothing.

"suddenly, i feel the need to make it up to you again." you smiled shyly.

"you can do that by accompanying me to the skate park." he said, motioning to his skateboard on the back seat.

"ah, so thats why you came."

"well yeah, i wanted to bring you to the skate park."

your heart swelled once again, feeling joyed that he wanted to share one of his favourite places with you. (despite him never telling you directly, you knew he loved the skate park as he spent majority of his high school time there when he wasn't studying.)

when you arrived, the sun was beginning to slip behind the horizon, causing the sky to glow a rosy pink. there were still a few kids, probably high schoolers, hanging around the park. you took a seat at a bench and waited for yeosang to come over, who was getting his skateboard out the car. you felt oddly out of place since you were still in your neat work uniform and didn't know the first thing about skateboarding.

yeosang rolled over with a grin plastered onto his face, you'd never seen him so happy, and it made you happy to see him this way. it was strange how all it took was a few cups of coffee for him to become a completely different person around you.

he didn't need to ask you to watch as your eyes were already glued to him as he dropped into the bowl, showing countless tricks and flips.

the truth was in fact that yeosang was grateful for you 'making it up to him'. he'd never been able to comprehend his feelings for you, if they were even feelings at all. he hated the confusion and decided it was easier to ignore it, and to an extent, ignore you, to make it go away. it had been working for the most part, until every time the two of you were alone together, he couldn't ignore the slight tug at his heart, that was becoming more of a pull over the last few weeks.

"you're amazing!" you cheered as he sat down next to you, out of breath.

"thanks." he smiled shyly, running a hand through his hair and out of his face. he leaned back, looking up at the sky. "do you sometimes wish you could see the stars from within the city? hongjoong and seonghwa are so lucky they can see them from their house."

you pondered a moment, thinking about the last time you actually saw stars in the sky. "i see stars in your eyes sometimes." you said, absent minded.

he felt warmth burning in his cheeks, "you do?"

"do what?" you turned to him, "did i say that out loud?" you gasped, covering your face in embarrassment. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to say that it was just a thought and—"

"what did i say about apologising?" he laughed. "it's getting cold, right? you ready to head home?" he asked.

you smiled, "if you are."

he drove you home and said goodbye, feeling happy about spending time alone with you once again. he couldn't stop thinking about what you said and you couldn't stop feeling like a fool for saying it.

————————

the weather got colder and colder and soon it began to snow as the days of december passed. you had spent the day helping jongho move some new furniture into his apartment. it was a difficult job, but easier with the two of you, even san and wooyoung came to help. you couldn't resist wondering where yeosang was and why he didn't come, seeing as they lived in the same building. maybe he was busy, you thought.

"hey, where's yeosang?" you asked, lifting a box and placing it on the kitchen counter.

"at home, i think he's been feeling sick or something, he hardly comes out of his room lately." wooyoung shrugged, assuming it was all good.

"if he's sick i'll bring him over some food and painkillers, maybe keep him some company." you explained, not wanting yeosang to be unwell.

"i think he'd rather be left alone, to be honest." san said, giving wooyoung a side glance that you couldn't miss.

you pulled out your phone and sent yeosang a quick message.

you: are you feeling okay? san and woo said you were sick :((

he didn't respond right away and you just figured he was asleep. but as you finished helping out at jongho's house a few hours later, he still hadn't responded. when you were sitting down to eat dinner at home, he still hadn't respond. just before you were going to turn the lights out and go to bed, he still hadn't responded.

something was up. this wasn't like yeosang, not anymore. not since the two of you had been spending so much time together. maybe it was like the boys said, and he was truly very sick, but in that case, why wouldn't they let you help?

————————

days passed and you went to work as usual, repeating the same few lines, asking people if they want a room, asking them to fill in a form, then directing them to the right room. days passed and you still hadn't heard back from yeosang, you wondered if he was still sick. days passed and you began to think maybe you should go over there to see if he's okay.

but if there was one thing you'd learnt about yeosang recently, it was that he was the quieter type, and probably wouldn't appreciate you going over there to keep him company and would rather be alone. so that evening when you got off work, you didn't go visit him like you so desperately wanted to, instead, you went straight home.

you cooked and ate dinner for yourself, before picking up your phone, only to see still no messages from yeosang.

you: hey woo you: is yeosang feeling better ?

wooyoung: yeah he is

you: well then can i come visit tomorrow ?

wooyoung: i think he's busy wooyoung: sorry

you: its okay woo you: its not your fault !!

you switched your phone off and headed for the shower, trying to wash away the stress and worry for yeosang that had built up over the last few weeks. you had really grown to like him and there was still so much about him you wanted to learn, like when he learned to skateboard or how he got the small scar on the back of his hand, that you'd noticed when ever he brushes his hair out of his eyes.

two years he'd spent, not interested in holding conversation with you and two years you'd spent, wondering what you'd did so wrong. but lately, you felt like you were doing something right around him, getting him to smile and laugh, share his own stories.

you couldn't shake the feeling that maybe he still didn't like you, and had just been trying for wooyoung's sake.

or maybe he was genuinely starting to like you, but you went and fucked it up by weirding him out and telling him about his starry eyes.

or maybe he'd just had enough of you already. decided that a few weeks was enough time spent trying to change things between the two of you.

as you finished showering and changed into comfortable clothes, you glanced at the clock which read 10:56pm. you switched on the television to watch some youtube before going to bed. as you felt yourself dozing off, a faint knock sounded at your door, so quiet you almost missed it.

when you opened the door, you were shocked to see yeosang standing there, leaning against the door frame for support. he looked up at you, his normally starry eyes were dulled with tears.

you rushed forward to him, smelling the alcohol as you got closer, "yeosang are you okay? what are you doing here? i thought you were sick. are you drunk? you never drink, come inside." you gently pulled him inside, closing the door behind you. when you turned to face him, he was staring at you, tears about to spill over the brim of his eyes.

"i hate you." he breathed out, voice barely louder than a whisper. he didn't seem angry though, he looked fragile, like a glass vase balancing on the edge of a table.

you felt the urge to cry, finally hearing those three words that confirmed your biggest concern, yeosang disliking you. "yeosang, i'm so sorry. i never meant to—"

"i hate you." he said, louder this time before running a hand through his hair hastily. he let out a frustrated groan, dragging his hands down his face. "i hate the tugging feeling in my heart whenever we're alone. i hate the way you put yourself before others. i hate the way you ramble on when you're nervous. i hate the way your eyes sparkle when you laugh. i hate the way i don't drink around you because i feel the need to protect you and make sure you're safe. i hate the way i tried to ignore you for two years because i was scared and confused about my own feelings. i hate how it only took one cup of coffee with you for my walls to come crashing down!" he paced from side to side, waving his hands around crazily.

yeosang looked scared and lost, like he'd never felt this way about anyone before, and that was the truth. he didn't know how to comprehend these feelings and it terrified him.

you watched as he spiralled, seeming as though it would never stop. you weren't sure what to do, so you just listened to that swelling feeling in your heart once again, the one that had led you to develop feelings for yeosang, and you pulled him close into your arms. he clung onto you tightly, scared to let go, like if he did then he'd lose you forever. you ran your fingers through his hair briefly, trying your best to comfort him.

"i'm sorry." you repeatedly whispered to him. you'd never meant to upset him or confuse him.

yeosang let out a quiet sob into your chest, "i hate the way i've fallen in love with you." he croaked out.

he didn't hate you. never did. never will. your heart swelled completely in your chest, feeling as though it would burst through. but it couldn't be true. he's totally drunk out of his mind.

"you're not in your right mind, yeosang, you need to get home. you're drunk and talking nonsense." you embraced him tightly one more time, and you could've sworn you felt the beat of his heart through the hug. "come on," you urged, steering him towards the door, "wooyoung and san are probably worried and waiting up for you."

with much effort, you led him down the stairs of your apartment block and walked him home. the street lamps led you in the freezing city night air. you held his wrist lightly, guiding him up the stairs to his own apartment. he didn't speak a single word the whole time, instead, sniffling and wiping at his eyes. it hurt you so much to see him this broken, but you knew he wasn't saying the truth under control of the alcohol in his veins.

you knocked at his apartment door, hoping that one of the boys were still awake. luckily, they both were and quickly they flung the door open.

"y/n? yeosang?" san questioned, his eyes wide open with disbelief.

"we've been so worried about you!" wooyoung said, pulling yeosang away from you. "hang on, are you drunk?"

san had noticed his tired, tear stained eyes, "you look like you've been crying! are you okay?"

you let out a quiet sigh, knowing you didn't need to be here anymore. you gave a small wave goodbye and headed home, utterly exhausted.

and though you were so drained, you couldn't seem to fall asleep. those words yeosang said to you kept running through your mind busily.

did he mean any of it?

————————

yeosang felt bad. he felt terrible. like he wanted to vanish into thin air and float away with the breeze. though he couldn't, no, he desperately wanted to apologise to you. but he didn't know how, he wasn't good with words or expressing his feelings, and you wished he knew that was something you loved about him.

wooyoung and san tried to ask him what happened the night he drunkenly confessed to you, but he couldn't have them know that he'd been harbouring feelings for you for all this time, they'd never let him live it down. he could imagine the continuous teasing they'd give him, nudging him whenever you were together or giving him side glances after talking to you.

yeosang gave it lots of thought. he mulled it over in his head repeatedly. it was only after hours spent hidden away in his room that he decided to go back to where it all started, a text. a text that said how much he wanted to make it up to you for having to deal with him drunk, just like the one you'd sent initially.

yeosang: hey y/n, i feel really bad about the other day, i wanna know how i can make it up to you! T^T

your heart leapt a mile seeing his name appear on your phone. you grinned upon reading his message, realising it was scarily similar to the message you had first sent him.

you: hmmm you: that sounds familiar

yeosang: >.< yeosang: seriously though, how does dinner at my place tomorrow night sound? i'll cook

you: you can cook?

yeosang: there's a lot you don't know about me x_x

you: okay, i'll be there !!

————————

yeosang wasn't lying when he said he can cook. as you traipsed up the stairs of his apartment block you could smell something delicious laced in the air.

the usual swelling in your heart had instead fell to the pit of your stomach, you were feeling slightly nervous as to what would happen when you entered yeosang's apartment. you inhaled deeply before knocking at the door of his apartment.

"hey y/n, come in." yeosang greeted, holding an arm out, signalling for you to come inside.

"you must've been working hard cooking! it smells delicious." you said, feeling a sense of comfort just from the smell of food.

"yeah, lucky i sent wooyoung and san over to jongho's place, otherwise i doubt there would be any pasta to serve." he joked. "you can take a seat, i've just gotta serve up."

you sat down in front of a neatly laid table, it had somewhat surprised you how much effort yeosang had put into this dinner tonight. he placed a steamy hot plate of pasta in front of you and one where he would sit.

"so." he began.

"so." you copied, teasingly.

"i guess, i really just wanted to say i'm sorry for how i behaved the other night when i was drunk. you shouldn't of had to deal with that." he frowned, poking at his dinner.

you furrowed your brows, "it's seriously fine yeosang." you took a bite of pasta, "i was just surprised to see you drunk, since you never drink."

he chuckled, bringing a hand up to cover his mouth, "actually, i do. i just never drink when you're there."

"really? why?" you questioned, eating another mouthful of pasta.

"because..." he paused. "no, it sounds dumb out loud."

"it's okay, you don't have to explain yourself." you smiled warmly, "but that does remind me to ask... do you remember anything you said to me while you were drunk?" you leant forward, genuinely curious.

he sighed, "i remember.. enough."

"you don't really hate me, right?" you asked, playing with the food on your plate.

"of course not! that's why i invited you here tonight. to show you that i don't, and to make it up to you." he had to refrain from reaching across to hold your hand, just to show how much he cared that little bit more.

you nodded, "well, thats good. i was kinda worried that we'd gone back to square one."

comfort settled within you. it was relieving to know you weren't hated by the one person whose love you wanted most. a tiny thought crept into your mind, maybe, just maybe, now would be the right time to tell him about your blossoming feelings for him. or would that confuse him more? now you were the one feeling conflicted.

"are you finished eating?" he asked, reaching for your empty plate.

"yes, thank you! it was delicious. you're a good cook, y'know."

"ah, thanks y/n." he turned away to hide the blush appearing on his cheeks.

"would you like me to do the dishes? since you cooked." you offered, standing up. but he quickly opposed.

"don't be ridiculous." he shooed you back to your seat. "can i get you a coffee? water? wine?"

"a coffee sounds good, i think you and i have had too many drunken situations lately." you laughed.

yeosang pulled out two mugs and put the kettle on. he felt your eyes carefully watching him. once again, he hated the feeling that was pulling at his heart. the way you could say nothing, yet he felt everything.

"can i tell you something?" you asked, voice now quieter and more hesitant.

"sure, what is it?" he said, placing a warm cup of coffee in front of you.

you took a sip, humming in delight. it was exactly the way you liked it. when the two of you went out for coffee, he had unintentionally remembered just the way you like it.

"well," you began cautiously, in case you brought this situation into flames again. "i just... i always wondered why you didn't like me. if i was doing something wrong, if i said something once that really upset you. and then after we started spending time together, i finally felt like i was doing the right thing." you groaned, frustrated with yourself for not getting to the point quicker. "what i'm trying to say is that i have feelings for you. it's okay if you don't feel the same way. i wouldn't expect you to, i just thought you should know—"

yeosang basically choked on his coffee, eyes widening in shock. "it's okay, y/n! in case you hadn't noticed, i'm crazy about you."

you had continued to ramble nervously before hearing what he said.

"wait. you are?"

"basically ever since you said that thing about stars in my eyes, yes."

you cringed, remembering how you had said that so absent minded. "yeah, sorry about that."

"it's okay, it was cute. and what did i say about apologising?"

you shook your head and smiled, "i know."

————————

ever since the two of you confessed to each other, you had been almost inseparable, except of course when you had work. but he dropped you home most nights, even though you insisted it was okay and that you could walk. he came over every weekend just to spend time with you, even if the two of you just sat and talked, enjoying each other's company. you'd been dating for a few weeks now, but kept it undercover, not wanting to suffer the incessant questioning that would come if you told your friends.

it didn't go unnoticed either, wooyoung and san were constantly nagging yeosang about why the two of you spent so much time together, and each time he just shrugged it off.

christmas was just around the corner, so you were spending the evening at seonghwa's and hongjoong's house, who of course, were throwing an unnecessarily large house party to celebrate.

you were sat between a very drunk yunho and mingi, who were trying to talk to an also very drunk jongho. you eyed your boyfriend from across the room, as if asking for a way out and he just laughed at the situation you were stuck in.

after at least ten minutes more of having your ear talked off, yeosang came to pull you away to the dance floor.

"care to dance?" he asked, extending his hand to you.

you immediately jumped up, latching onto his hand, "i would love to!"

he chuckled, pulling you close to his side and leading you to the makeshift dance floor that seonghwa and hongjoong created.

the two of you laughed at the boys' reaction. they were completely shocked to see the two of you so close together and yeosang being friendly.

he twirled you around a few times with the music, before settling his arms around your waist. he brought you near to him as you placed your arms behind his neck. you swayed back and forth, engulfed in your own little bubble of comfort in each other's arms, completely out of time with the loud thumping music that blared around you.

you felt content, and yeosang no longer felt confused. he found his home in your arms and his happiness.

you reached up to place your lips on his, capturing the moment surrounding you. yeosang melted into the kiss, discovering that your lips were soft and sweet against his, just as he had imagined, which caused his knees to feel weak and his heart to skip more than just one beat. he never wanted to let you go, he wanted to compensate for every second that he didn't spend with you since the two of you met.

he leaned forward and whispered softly, just so you could hear above all the music and singing, "lets stay like this forever."

#ateez #ateez yeosang #ateez scenarios #ateez fluff #ateez angst #yeosang fluff #yeosang angst #kang yeosang #yeosang scenarios #yeosang imagines #ateez seonghwa #ateez hongjoong #ateez mingi #ateez jongho #ateez wooyoung #ateez x reader #yeosang x reader #ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfic #ateez san #ateez yunho #ateez seongjoong #ateez yungi

[planetsano]

a family-friendly sleepover.

SYNOPSIS ☆ "can I request reki and his s/o having their first sleepover together :) nothin nsfw!! just fluff and the both of them being dorks"

WARNINGS ☆ gn!reader but reki's baby sisters dress you up in a princess outfit.

PAIRING ☆ reki kyan x gn!reader

A/N ☆ I made this into a bullet fic/headcanon sort of thing. I hope that's okay, it's just easier for me to convey ideas! ;(

I don't think it would be planned! It would just sort of happen.

The relationship was still new-ish, with it only being official for a month and a few days, but the two of you were inseparable.

One night after a skate date, you two decided to spend a little more time together back at his house. It was supposed to be an hour and thirty minutes max.

But there you two were cuddling and all pouty because you had to leave.

"It's late. I should go." Your voice is muffled from your face being buried into Reki's neck. His arm was loosely wrapped around your waist, rubbing on your back while. Your hand was on the other side of his neck, snuggling into him closer.

It was silent for a bit, the both of you unmoving because you didn't want to separate—puppy love.

A few more minutes passed, and you sighed. Now you had to get up. You sat on your knees, and you looked at Reki with a pout.

"C'mon, walk me out." You hit his chest gently. He groans and sits up, looking at you in your eyes.

"Do you really have to leave?" Reki asks.

You thought about it. You didn't necessarily have to leave, but you were supposed to, right?

"I mean, no but-" You stated but he cut you off.

"You can stay the night," He pauses, realizing what he just said. He was ready, but that's a significant milestone in any relationship, and maybe you weren't there yet. "Only if you want!" He gave you a nervous chuckle.

"Baby, are you sure?” Your hands found the sides of his face. “Will your mom mind?” Your thumbs rubbed his cheeks.

"I’m sure! She won't mind. I'll tell her it'll be a family-friendly sleepover."

“A family-friendly sleepover, babe?” You giggle and peck his lips.

"Yeah, it sounds PG, Ya know?”

Reki's mom and his sisters were so excited to have you over. His mother showed you some of his baby photos, and his sisters pulled you into one of their rooms. The oldest wanting boy advice, and the younger sisters just wanted to play dress up.

While you were occupied with his family, he took the time to get you everything you needed for the night. A toothbrush, a face towel, and pajamas (which consisted of one of his oversized shirts and baggy pajama pants)

Honestly, he was nervous the whole time he was preparing everything :(

He just wants everything to go well even though it was a last-minute thing, and there wasn't much he could do to plan.

Reki makes his bed and straightens up his room a bit even though it was already clean. Are there enough pillows??? Would you need more blankets??? Shit, he had to grab some extra drinks just in case you get thirsty!! He's a little ✨ frantic ✨

He folds your PJs in a neat square on his bed and even goes the extra mile to light a couple of sweetly scented candles and get more pillows

When he's satisfied, he'll go to his sister's room and knock on the door. He pokes his head in to see you wearing a tiara and an exceptionally poorly fitted princess dress. It was obviously made for a child the way it wouldn't close around your frame. Reki thought you looked adorable, but it was Reki-(Name) time now.

"Can I have my (Name) back?" He asks with a pout. His sisters shout a playful "no!"

"No? Let's fight then!" Reki comes into the room entirely fists raised.

Cue a fun sibling fight for your attention and love—spoiler alert. Reki wins, but only because they went easy on him. It was getting late anyway.

He takes you back to his room after you politely return your costume to his little twin sisters, and pinky promise you'll play again soon.

You smile when you see all the little things he's done and put out for you. You notice it all, from the candles to the couple bottles of water and snack sitting on his desk.

You guys brush your teeth and wash your face together. It's very much that scene from Bring It On. Lots of flirting through the mirror and hip bumps trying to fight for more mirror space.

He only gets "slightly" shy when he realizes you have to change.

"Uh, I'll let you change in here.." He says before he takes pajamas of his own out of his drawer. "I'll be right back!" He says and exits his room.

A few minutes will pass, and he's all dressed for bed. He knocks gently on his door, waiting on your response.

"Come in!"

He slides his door open to find you sitting crisscross applesauce on his bed. You look so sweet in PJs and a small smile on your face while you make grabby hands at him.

"Cuddle time, baby!" You say cutely.

Excited puppy Reki activated.

Reki takes so many candid pictures and videos of you. He makes one of the photographs his phone's lock screen. It's not a candid, but you're posing with two peace signs held up and a cute smile.

You guys are definitely making tiktoks too. (he's a surprisingly good dancer??????)

Netflix, Hulu, Disney Plus? He has it all on his laptop.

You guys get in a comfy cuddle position and watch movies and cartoons for a while. The Scooby-Doo live-action movie? Watched. A few episodes of Regular Show and Adventure Time? Watched.

He notices when you're quieter than usual—your cute little giggles at funny scenes dying down to soft hums.

"Sleepy?" He asks with a soft smile, and you nod your head in response. Your eyes were getting heavier and heavier by the second.

Reki closes his laptop and starts to get up.

"Hnng- Where you are goin'?" You whine and ball his shirt in your fists.

"I gotta blow out the candles and put this up. I'll be back in no time, lovebug." He kisses your forehead, and you let him go.

You watch him get up and put his laptop on his desk, plugging it up to its charger. Before he blows out the candles, he turns to look at you.

"You don't need a nightlight, right? Because I have one if you need it, babe! I'm not judging!" Reki says

"Reki, I don't need a nightlight. Thank you, though, baby." You giggle softly, then pat the warm spot his body left next to you. "Hurry."

He blows out the candles quickly before sliding into bed with you. His body was resting on top of yours while your fingers massaged his hair.

"Goodnight, (Name). I..." He pauses. "I'm happy you stayed." Nice save.

"Night, baby. I'm happy too.."

Reki wants to save the L word for another time.

© all content belongs to rekiri 2021. do not modify or repost.

#sk8 #sk8 the infinity #sk8 x reader #sk8 the infinity x reader #reki kyan x reader #reki x reader #sk8 reki kyan x reader #sk8 reki x reader #sk8 reki kyan #sk8 reki #sk8 the infinity reki x reader #sk8 the infinity reki #sk8 the infinity reki kyan x reader

[nessinborderland]

Be Mine (10)

Pairing: Niragi x Reader / Chishiya x Reader

Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff, Omegaverse

Word Count: 3.5k

Summary: You were able to stay unbounded throughout your life. You didn’t want an Alpha; you didn’t need one. You would rather die than to give yourself to some random male. But the man that saved your life thinks differently.

Warnings: Alpha/Omega, Dubious Consent, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Finger fucking, Rough Sex, Rough Kissing, Unprotected Sex, Creampie, Breeding, Pregnancy Kink, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Drama, Developing Relationship, Past Abuse, Scars, Death, Blood and Gore, Animal Death, Trauma, Bath Sex, Blood and Injury, Oral Sex, Dom/sub Undertones, Feelings

Notes: A new Be Mine chapter??? Indeed my darlings, indeed. I have no excuses really, I wrote this chapter in less than 24 hours. Let's see if I can be more consistent from now on, shall we? Tysm for your patience, you guys are the best <3

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The days that follow are like a dream. 

All that you can think about is him; all you want is him; all you can see is him. Nothing and no one else matters. You know that he feels the same, now that you're bonded, souls connected.

You spend your days in his bedroom – now yours too, you suppose – mating, sleeping, and enjoying each other’s presence. You barely talk. You don’t make a sound besides the moaning and chanting of each other’s names every time you’re lost in each other’s bodies. You don’t leave your room for anything – not even to eat – surviving on the daily tray of food that is left at your door. 

Not that any of you cares. The only hunger you feel is for each other.

"We have to play tonight," your Alpha ignores your whispered words as he keeps fucking into you from behind, face buried in your hair and hands kneading your tits as you slowly wake up from your slumber. You guess you can congratulate yourself for still remembering the games; you know he doesn't, "Niragi…"

"Shh, not now," he whispers in your ear, followed by a moan as you start meeting his thrusts, hand raising to caress his hair. You comb your fingers through his soft strands, turning your head back to meet his lips in a passionate kiss.

You stay like that for a while, involved in the pleasure of your afternoon mating session, eyes closed as you lavish in each other's scent. He smells more like you now, a sweetness mixed with spice. It fills you with pride, a possessiveness that shows you that you won, that the Alpha is as much yours as you are his. 

You love it. 

"I love you," he whispers against your lips as he fastens his thrusts. It had surprised you when he said it the first time, right on the first day when you were so exhausted that you could barely hold onto consciousness. You thought he had forgotten about it until he started saying it every time he was inside you, a faint whisper that you could barely hear but could feel in his heart like a fire consuming both of your souls. 

"I love you too," you answer every time. That small corner of your human brain that still holds onto logic chastises you for it, but you ignore it and push it aside. You don't want those thoughts on the front of your mind, and you definitely don't want your Alpha to feel that something is wrong. 

Because nothing is wrong, you think.

You whine as you feel yourself get closer to climax, the sensation of him stretching you and filling you at every thrust too much for you to bear. You come with a cry, clenching around his length as your vision turns white and your body trembles from pleasure. Niragi comes not long after, spilling inside you with a groan as you feel his knot start to swell, connecting you both even more to each other.

You doze off as you usually do while you're knotted, enjoying the sensation of him inside you like that, bodies close but souls closer. You can feel his satisfaction, a bright light of contentment that makes you happy and comfortable in his presence.

Behind that light, there's a darkness that you've decided to ignore. For now.

"We have to play tonight," Niragi says after some time, kissing your earlobe before gently pulling out of you. Both of you moan at the sensation, tired and sore from all the repetitive mating. You're both way more sensitive to pain now that your heat is coming to an end.

"That's what I said," you lightly slap his arm, chuckling when he hugs you closer and tickles your neck by nibbling and kissing your soft skin, "I really don't want to go, though." 

"Why?" he chuckles with a light pinch to your waist, "Afraid I'll fuck you in public again?"

That night some days ago had been a mess. Forced to go to a game in the middle of your heat was one of the hardest things you had to do. 

It took some inhumane strength not to mate in front of everyone in the lobby. People were already staring and talking about you – the last thing you needed was that – so you controlled yourself the best you could as you got into your group's car. You remember it consisted of Aguni and a few other people you didn't know the names of, everyone too intimidated to even sit too close to the intense couple making out in the backseat. 

You were thankfully conscious enough of your surroundings to stop Niragi from fucking you in front of everyone in that car; that and Aguni had threatened both of you with a fate worse than death if you did anything more than kissing.

So you controlled yourselves.

Until it was time to play. You barely remember the game or how you even got out alive, but what you remember vividly is being fucked by your mate against a building, both of you covered in blood but too consumed by lust to care about it – or about the people that could clearly see you going at it.

That is not what's bothering you though. What's bothering you are the inevitable things that you'll have to face as soon as you leave this bedroom, and your illusion of happiness is shattered. That's why you don't want to go. 

You think of lying for a moment and let him believe that you're concerned about something trivial, but decide against it.

"We have a lot to talk about," is all you say.

His eyes darken immediately, and you can feel a mix of emotions emanating from him as his gaze flashes to the mark his claws left on your cheek, now light scars marking the skin. You can feel the regret and pain coming from him every time he looks at what he did. 

"I'm sorry," his hand cradles your cheek as he kisses your face, right over the scars. He has apologized dozens of times since you bonded, but it never seems to be enough for him.

"I forgive you," you always say back, "That is not what I mean, though," you don't want him to have to relive his trauma. You know more than enough about it, "I mean us. We need to talk about what we're going to do from now on. I want this to work."

"Why shouldn't we work?" he asks, a brow raised, "I won't let Chishiya touch you and we're gonna leave this place someday. I'm working on it. We're bonded now, you don't have anything to worry about."

"That's not- You know how my parent’s relationship was and–"

"We're not your parents."

"No, we're worse!"

"What do you mean by that?" his tone is cold, and you can feel his anger grow, "If you think I'm gonna cheat on you, no, I'm not planning on it, so relax, okay?"

You bite your lip as to not say what you're really thinking; that's not what worries you either. Yes, you hate thinking of the possibility of him breaking your heart, but you're willing to trust him on that.

"Are you willing to change, then?" you ask, "No more violence, no more murder, no more… everything I've seen you do?"

He takes a deep breath. Regret; not from his actions, but because you know what he did and there's no way he can hide it from you. Fear; you're not sure why, but you wonder if he's afraid you'll punish him for it.

Anger.

"I'm not a dog you can put a leash on, Y/N," he says, turning his back to you as he stands up and walks to the bathroom, "I'm still the man I was before meeting you, you better get used to it."

"This is what I was talking about!" you say with a frustrated grunt, standing up to follow him, "How do you expect us to be happy together when you can't bother to change?"

Niragi says nothing as he turns on the shower faucet, back still turned to you, his ugly scars in full view. It reminds you of that nightmarish day where you learned about his abuse and everything that came with it. It hurts you to know that this broken man in front of you, your mate, is someone you would despise otherwise. You ignore the fleeting thought that part of you may think exactly that.

"I know you're in pain, but that is not an excuse to act like you do."

"Mind your fucking business," he mumbles as he gets under the water stream.

You take a deep breath, fists close by your side as you struggle to not let anger win over you. You knew this would be a problem, and you knew this would be hard.

But damn you if you're not going to try.

"You are my fucking business, you asshole!" you exclaim as you watch him shower like you're not even there. You can feel his emotions, though – stubbornness and proudness to stay true to the persona he created, mixing with the desire to please you, "Ugh, I'm so putting you in therapy when we get out of here."

"Good luck with that, sweetheart," he says with a shrug, "I never promised you I was going to change in any way. Sorry if I'm not good enough for you, but we're bonded now."

You don’t know if you want to hit him or cry. Probably both.

"You're a coward," you say as you watch him, hoping he would at least be brave enough to look you in the eyes. He tenses up immediately, and you know you've angered him enough now. You regret your words almost instantly but still, you keep going, "Just a scared little boy that thinks that the only way he can be safe is by hurting others. I'm sorry all those awful things happened to you but you don't have to act like you do," you can't control your voice from wavering, "You can change. You're not alone," you walk the small distance until you're pressing against his back, ignoring when he flinches from your touch, "I'm here for you. Please, let me help you."

"Are you done?" you sigh at his words, hugging him from the back when he tries to move away from you, "Y/N… I can't," he says, voice almost drowned by the sound of the shower, "I can't do what you expect of me. Not here."

"Please I–"

"Stop!" his order echoes in the bathroom, making you jump at his tone; this is your Alpha talking. He finally turns to face you, cradling your face as his yellow eyes lock on yours, "Just stop talking about it, for fucks sake. I'm not changing, and I'm not gonna hurt. You don't have anything to worry about."

His words almost make you burst into tears, but you swallow the urge and take a step away from him, eyes cast down.

"My dad said something similar to my mom and me before… before what he did," you say before walking out of the bathroom, wet body shivering as you try to figure out if you should leave the room.

"I'm not your fucking father, goddammit!" he shouts right behind you, grabbing you by the shoulder to turn you to face him, "Stop comparing us, I'm not like him and we're not like them! We–"

"How do you expect me not to compare you when you do all those awful things while expecting me to be okay with it?" you shout back, tears streaming down your face, "Why should I believe that you're not going to hurt me or the future children we may have? Fuck, the idea of having children with you terrifies me!" the hurt you see in his eyes doesn't stop you, "You can't promise me that you won't just lose it one day and hurt us! You can't promise me that you won't make me regret–"

"You regret this?" the hands on your shoulder squeeze you so hard that you wince, but his voice is stone-cold, nothing like the fire that is burning through your bond "You regret bonding with me, is that what this is about?"

"No, I–"

"You want that fucker that used you and tried to kill me instead?"

"I want–"

"What do you want?" you think there are unshed tears in his eyes, but you can’t see through your own tears.

"I want you!" you say with a sob. He looks at you for a moment before going to a drawer and taking out a hunting knife. Your hunting knife, the one he took from you when you first met.

"Remember this?" he forces you to pick up the knife, fingers curling around yours as he makes you press the knife against his neck even when you gasp in horror, "I do something to you, you kill me. As your Alpha I'm ordering you to kill me if I ever hurt you in any way, understood?"

"I can't–"

"You will!" his tone is firm, an Alpha order that you can't ignore. You nod with a cry, his expression softening as you both let go of the knife and he hugs you. You cry against his chest, pleading with him. He doesn't react to your words, hugging you and whispering things that gradually calm you down.

You barely remember falling asleep in his arms.

Neither of you talks about it when you wake up hours later, head pounding from all the crying. Niragi is already ready for the games, dressed in his usual attire and hair styled in his usual half-bun. It reminds you every bit of who he really is, and you know he feels your pain as strongly as you do.

You get out of your room in silence but close to each other, the idea of being apart unbearable even after the fight you had.

You ignore the whispers and looks that everyone sends your way as you walk down to the lobby, hand in hand and rifle over his shoulder. You notice how intimated everyone is, immediately getting out of the way as you pass by. Your heart stops when you see Chishiya from afar, eyes on you. You're glad when he makes no move to get close, waving to you instead before whispering something to Kuina beside him.

You glance at Niragi, not surprised to see that his focus is already on the other Alpha. You weren't expecting anything else. 

"Is it over yet?" a voice from behind you asks. You turn around to see Ann, arms crossed as she looks at both of you. Niragi promptly ignores her, his eyes still on Chishiya.

"Pretty close," you nod. After all the emotions you went through, you think it might just have ended for good. You don't know if you should feel fear or relief, "What did we miss?"

"Nothing much. Things have been… calmer around here," she says with a glance to Niragi, "Are you okay?"

You nod with a small smile, hoping she won't notice the tension between you and your mate. You're sure she does, though, when she squints for a moment before nodding.

"I'm here if you need to talk," she says with a touch to your arm before sending a last look to Niragi and walking away. 

You take a deep sigh as you wait for the groups to be made, wishing you were back to your illusion of happiness. Niragi's hand gives a light squeeze to your waist before he leans in your direction.

"We'll be back in no time," he whispers in your ear with a kiss to your temple. His lips linger on your skin, and you know that that's his way of calming you down and apologize, "We'll be fine."

You are not fine. 

The bullet wound on your arm burns like it's on fire, blood seeping through the makeshift bandage Niragi made from one of his shirt's sleeves.

"I'm going to kill that motherfucker!" he rages as he drives back to the Beach, car empty as your group either died or was forgotten back at the arena.

"Please slow down," you say as the car races through the empty streets of Tokyo. He glances at you through the corner of his eye but keeps pressing on the pedal, clearly set on getting you back to the Beach in record time. 

"How're you feeling?" he asks in a worried tone, hand squeezing your knee.

"Like I was shot in the arm," you chuckle at your bad joke, tapping his hand, "Both hands on the wheel, please."

He's getting you out of the car as soon as you arrive at the Beach, barking at a group of militants nearby to go get Ann. He rushes across the hotel with you in his arms, bursting through the door of your bedroom and gently laying you on the bed.

Your bleeding thankfully stopped a while ago, but you still feel dizzy from blood loss, suddenly exhausted, and in extreme pain now that the adrenaline wore off. A movement by the door snaps both your attention as Ann rushes into the room, a bag of what you guess are medical supplies in one hand.

"What happened?" she asks as she sits next to you, taking off your bandage before starting to examine your injury.

"I was stupid and got shot," you say with a groan of pain. You had been so focused on your own thoughts that you forgot where you were for a moment, making you an excellent target for shooting practice. You only got out alive because Niragi was there.

"Well, looks like it didn't hit any major arteries," Ann says as she starts cleaning your wound. You squeeze Niragi's hand in yours at the pain, screaming as your arm burns.

"Hey baby, look at me," Niragi says as he cradles your cheek, forcing you to focus on him, "I'm gonna catch the bastard who did this and come back to you, okay? You'll be fine."

"No, you stay here with me!" you say as you try not to cry from the pain, "I don't need revenge."

"Bite down on this," Ann orders as she puts a thick strip of fabric in between your teeth. You try not to trash around too much as she extracts the bullet from your body, focusing on Niragi's presence beside you to stay as calm as you can.

You know from the emotions you feel in him that he's not going to stop until he avenges you, even if nothing happened. You don't care about a random shooter that might as well be dead already. You just don't want your mate to kill while putting himself in harm's way more than he already does.

You sigh in relief when Ann's done with cleaning and dressing your wound. All you want now more than anything is a good warm shower followed by twelve hours of sleep.

"Is she going to be okay?" you hear Niragi ask as you focus to not fall asleep.

"Yes, I think so," Ann says, "Just make sure that the wound is clean and the bandages are changed regularly. Also, try to find her these antibiotics if you can."

You doze off after that until you feel Niragi's lips on your forehead.

"I'll be back," he says with a small peck to your lips. You can't seem to move, unable to control your body to stop him as you hear him walk away and close the door behind him.

Then you fall asleep.

You're not exactly sure of what woke you up. Maybe it was the door closing. Maybe it was the bedside table lamp being turned on.

Maybe it was the smell of peppermint and rain that suddenly filled your nostrils as someone got close to your side.

"Shh, go back to sleep," you hear Chishiya's voice as a cold hand brushes your hair from your face, "Just came by to check on you since the husband isn't home at the moment."

"Go away…" you groan as you try to swat his hand away, gasping when pain flashes through your arm, "Niragi will–"

"Niragi won't do anything, honey," he says, lips brushing the shell of your ear, "You know, I thought that your scent would become less alluring now that you're bonded but… I guess not," he chuckles, "If you weren't a mess right now I would try to fuck you, see if you can resist me."

"Please, just–"

"I'm not a man that desires a lot of stuff, but I really wanted you," he says. You open your eyes to see strands of your hair in-between his fingers, his dark brown eyes flashing yellow when you lock eyes, "It's a shame he got you in the end," he shrugs, "That was my fault really, I should've killed him when he was down. He's annoyingly hard to kill otherwise."

"Leave–"

"A shame, really," he says before letting go of your hair and standing up, "You could have it all with me," he pauses at the door, "Well… who knows, maybe you still can. Guess we'll see. Goodbye, Y/N."

#alice in borderland #ima wa no kuni no alice #alice in borderland fanfic #aib netflix #Niragi Suguru #niragi x reader #niragi smut #niragi fanfic #aib fanfic #fanfic #be mine #a/b/o fic #omegaverse

[sugarbooger513]

Happy Birthday (Nanamixfem!reader)

I got the idea for this short one shot because it's my wifey's birthday!! Happy birthday @kentosovertime!! I love you, and I hope your day has been fantastic because you deserve it. Sorry to make you wait in suspense for your present.

Warnings: None. Complete birthday fluff.

When your eyes open, the right side of your bed is empty. The shape of your husband's body seems to be imprinted on the sheets. Husband.. The thought of finally being married still makes your heart race. The ring on your finger seems to glisten in the morning sunlight.

You sit up and stretch your arms high above your head, mentally preparing to take on the day. Nanami mentioned last night that he was called into work and couldn't refuse. He was upset, for obvious reasons.

This is your first birthday since you have been married. You know he wants to make it special for you.

Still, you reminded him that you would love him no matter what, and it seemed to lighten the load on his shoulders.

You quickly get dressed in your favorite outfit before going into the kitchen. To your surprise, a note was on the kitchen table, along with breakfast and a small wrapped box. You grab the note, smiling softly at Nanami's perfect handwriting.

Y/N,

Happy birthday my love. I'm terribly sorry I can't be home to celebrate. I made your favorite breakfast and set out one of your presents. I hope you enjoy them. I love you more than words can ever describe.

Kento

Folding the note carefully, you place it on the table again and grab the box. As per Nanami's usual style, it is wrapped perfectly, so you take your time as to not shred the wrapping paper.

Inside the small box is a heart shaped locket. When you open it, you can't help but giggle at the picture of you and Nanami together. It was from your first date, a picture that Gojo(who wasn't supposed to be there in the first place)managed to get. Neither of you were looking towards the camera. In fact, both of you had content smiles, staring across a cafe table at each other.

If you remember correctly, Gojo even took a few pictures when Nanami finally caught him. They're rather amusing to scroll through.

After placing the locket around your neck, you sit down to eat the breakfast he had prepared you. He even made the time to cut your favorite fruits into cute little heart shapes.

A knock at your door makes you place your fork down. Who would be here without calling? (Come on, you know that answer.)

"Y/N! Happy fucking birthday!!" You squeak when Gojo scoops you into his arm and spins you around. "G-Gojo! Thank you, but put me down!"

"Your loving husband has asked me to take you out today for your birthday!" "Nanami.. asked you?" "Shocker, right? I am your best friend, though, so I know what you like even more than he does." You roll your eyes.

"What do you have planned?" "Remember the park you and Nanami met at?" "Of course I do. Why?" He grins, leaning close to you. "Itadori and I planned a small party. Come on."

You can't help but smile at the mention of Itadori. It isn't uncommon for the boy to stay nights in your house. The three of you are like a family, and Nanami even has a "bad" habit of referring to Itadori as his son. It's quite funny when he's called out for it and he gets flustered.

The ride to the park didn't consist of much... except Gojo badly singing happy birthday to you for fifteen entire minutes. "Gojo," you eventually put your hand over his mouth, "I love you, but please shut up." "Fiiiine. Move or I will lick your hand. We're here."

Gojo is quick to hop out and open your door for you. "Nanami would kill me if I wasn't a gentleman." "Gojo.. you could deflect his attempts." He chuckles softly and offers you his arm. "Of course I could, but I would deserve it."

You link your arm to his and allow him to lead you through the park. Eventually you come to a set of picnic tables with people gathered. Itadori and his friends, Nobara and Megumi, smile widely as you approach. Behind them is an all too familiar smile.

"K-Kento? I thought you-" "I lied, dear. My apologies, but I wanted to get this set up without you spoiling your surprise." You pull your arm from Gojo and pretty much run to Nanami, where he's waiting with open arms to catch you.

"Did you enjoy your breakfast?" "I did, but I wish you wouldn't have lied to me." He chuckles and places a soft kiss on the top of your head. "Hmm, I know. I promise that today will make up for it, okay?" You finally take the time to look at his outfit. He even thought to wear the button up you consider your favorite.

"Are you dressing up the way I like on purpose, Kento?" He snorts a bit of laughter. "Where did you get that idea?" "I can count on one hand the number of times I have seen you wear blue jeans." He rolls his eyes as everyone else starts to laugh.

The kids walk to you, all offering their gifts they got you. Megumi made you a keychain of his demon dogs (which he always lets you pet since you love them so much), and Nobara got you some really pretty earrings that match the locket.

Itadori walks over nervously. "Yuji? Why are you shaking?" You're quick to place your hands on his face. It isn't like him to get nervous.

Nanami is quick to move from your side to Itadori's. "It's going to be okay, Yuji. She'll love it." He meets Nanami's eyes, and a smile finally graces his features. "You're right. Sorry. Here you go."

The small envelope feels like it could pop open any second with everything shoved in there. You open it slowly and pull out a stack of papers. Before you open them, you notice tears build up in Itadori's eyes.

"Honey, why are you-" Nanami raises his hand, stopping your sentence. "Just.. just open them." He pulls Itadori into a hug, whispering to him words you can't hear.

The first page is mostly blank, aside from Itadori's full name. The second one has a lot of stuff on it.. and then you see Nanami's signature.

"K-Ken.. are these..?" He looks at you with a smile, tears forming in his warm, brown eyes. "He asked last month. I couldn't say no." Itadori looks at you, still leaning into Nanami's embrace.

"You two are the best p-parents I could ask for and.. Nanami has been working so hard to get it approved. It.. it was hard because I'm already a teenager.. but I want to be your son."

With out even thinking about it, you drop the adoption papers on the floor and join the two in the embrace. Your own tears stain Nanami's shirt, next to Itadori's, but he can't seem to care.

"Yuji, you know I'll say yes. Y-you've been ours for so long already." You take a second to wipe tears from your son's face, which only makes him cry more.

Nanami kisses both of you on the top of your head and holds you two a little longer, willing his own tears away despite them already streaming down his cheeks. He can't seem to quit smiling, knowing that the two people he loves most in the world are now his family.

The party goes on, Nanami and you mostly making plans on how to decorate Itadori's bedroom for him to move in. Truly, the family the two of you have put together is the greatest birthday present of all.

Oh, Gojo ended up giving you a present after the party. He snuck a picture of the three of you crying and holding each other. Nanami tried to act mad, but ended up thanking Gojo for being there.

A/N: Happy birthday Kaitlyn. Thank you for being such a wonderful friend. ❤💕

#Happy birthday #Wifey💍 #nanami kento #nanami kento x y/n #nanami kento fluff #jjk imagines #jjk x fem!reader #nanami x fem!reader

[lowkeyorloki]

Goldfish

Pairing: Loki x Mobius

Rating: Teen and up, but nothing more than a couple kisses

A/N: Hiiii sorry I’m never on here anymore I’m a bit busy and I don’t have time to post consistently on tumblr if I want to keep updating my multichapter! I know this isn’t my usual content but I’m posting it on my ao3 so I figured I’d drop it here as well ^.^ it’s funny, I don’t even ship lokius but I saw some fanart on twitter of them hugging and it just... inspired me. If this is your thing, I hope you enjoy <3

~

It’s just that… Loki knows it will have to be him.

He can’t read Mobius, not like he can every other human he comes across. Or being, even. Mobius has seen every moment of Loki’s life, some of which Loki himself will now never live out or understand. Mobius has watched Loki in his most private moments.

It makes the TVA agent inescapable. He knows Loki, truly knows him, whether Loki likes it or not. 

And so Loki can’t tell with Mobius. The small exhaled laughs or the allowance of Loki to fix his tie. Loki doesn’t know if Mobius does these things because he wants to, or because Loki would like to think the other man wants him to. 

And Mobius is loyal to the TVA, anyway. Even if he were to look past all of Loki’s faults, even if Mobius were to see Loki as anything more than a pain in the ass of a friend, he wouldn’t do anything. It was controversial enough to bring in Loki at all.

Loki should be thankful he has Mobius in any capacity at all. 

And so Loki knows he would have to make the first move. And he can’t do that, because Mobius is possibly the only person who could destroy Loki with a simple rejection. 

Loki keeps quiet, and lives for when his shoulder brushes Mobius’s in the elevator. 

~

Trying to find the variant is exhausting. Mobius is on his seventh cup of coffee, and his head is starting to buzz. Not the good, productive type of buzz either. The type that makes someone need to lay down. 

Apparently, Loki has already had that idea. Mobius glances at him, asleep across the table and surrounded by books and loose papers. As he drains the last of what’s in his cup, Mobius realizes he hasn’t seen Loki eat or drink a single thing since he got here. If he had to, Mobius would bet money the god hasn’t been sleeping either. 

Mobius stands up, his back cracking when he does. He groans - Mobius is getting old, something he’s noticed more and more lately. He walks around the table until he’s right next to Loki, ready to wake him up. Loki’s breaths are even, hitting the ends of a few pieces of paper. Mobius has never really seen him like this - calm, subdued. He almost looks peaceful. Mobius leans over Loki, hands on his hips as he examines the other man. 

Mobius would never tell Loki, but it is obvious that the dark-haired man is a god. There are just things about his looks that clue Mobius in. 

Loki’s skin, even as it’s gotten dull with his time in the TVA, is technically flawless. He glows, even in his embarrassing or rude moments. His cheekbones are impossibly sharp, and his lips are the reddest Mobius has seen. He would guess they’re soft. 

Loki’s hair was the most dead giveaway. It always looked perfect, loose curls that seemed to suck in any light. It was the opposite of Mobius’s graying blond hair. He’s shiny. Everything about Loki is shiny. 

Loki stirs, and Mobius straightens up, not wanting Loki to see him watching. He was upset enough that Mobius has watched his entire life over. 

Mobius ponders how to wake Loki up when a lock of his black hair falls into his face. Without thinking, Mobius reaches forward and tucks it behind the man’s ear.

Reckless. Loki really does start to wake up then, and Mobius swats him with the corner of the folders in his hand. 

“Come on,” Mobius says. “We’re not even close to done.”

~

The two of them are so close to making strides. Loki is smart, just like Mobius knew - just like he keeps convincing Ravonna - but he’s being held back. It’s like a single wrong look could make Loki wither away, be absent for the rest of the day. Mobius has no clue how someone who thought so highly of himself could be so affected by the glare of a random agent. Maybe Mobius didn’t know Loki as well as he thought. Only in small ways, though. 

And Mobius still hasn’t seen him eat or drink a damn thing. 

He stands up abruptly, surprising Loki. His head shoots up, perfect curls becoming loose and falling in his face in the process. Mobius almost considers brushing them away. 

“Come on,” he says, gesturing towards the exit. Loki narrows his eyes.

“We haven’t even been here four hours,” he says, which is generous, because they both know they’ve only been there for two. Mobius lets out a harsh sigh. 

“Am I the supervisor or are you? Let’s go, Loki.” Loki seems to know Mobius is doing him a favor, and stands up as well. Loki follows him down a new set of hallways, stands next to him in an elevator he hasn’t been on yet. 

“Am I to take it we’re breaking the rules, or…?” Loki trails off in a way that is anything but unsure. 

“It’s for the sake of the cause,” Mobius says. “We don’t need to address it directly.”

Mobius does look over his shoulder when he gets to the door, and locks it as soon as they’re both inside. He flicks on the lights, and Loki looks bored. Mobius lets out an exasperated sigh.

“Don’t say I never did anything for you. Sit down,” he gestures towards the couch. 

“Agent Mobius, are you allowing me in your home?” Loki’s eyes glint. Despite himself, Mobius finds himself relieved to hear Loki making quips again. He already might have more energy. 

“Hey, if we don’t talk about it, my job security looks a lot better,” Mobius sets a bowl down in front of Loki. “Will you please eat something? God or not, I don’t know how you’re still alive after a month.” Loki presses his lips into a thin line.

“Mobius, I appreciate the gesture, but you don’t need to -” Mobius is already prepared, and tosses a piece of food directly into Loki’s mouth as he speaks. He makes a gagging noise, and looks at Mobius furiously, but the other man is already laughing. 

“What… what are these?” He asks after swallowing, seemingly admitting defeat. Mobius laughs again.

“Goldfish. They’re from Earth you know,” Mobius eats a few, and quietly celebrates when Loki does as well. 

“Goldfish. I know of an employee you have that might benefit from these,” Loki tells him. 

“I’m flattered you think I’m anyone’s, especially Casey’s, superior. But really, the only person I’m in charge of is you,” Mobius says. Loki glares. 

“I’m always ten steps ahead of you all. Surely you know that,” he says, but it’s non-committal. Mobius can tell. 

“Yep. You’ve said before, handsome. This is all part of your plan.” Mobius looks to Loki for his next retort, but Loki doesn’t say anything. He stares at Mobius with an unreadable look on his face, and Mobius realizes his slip up. Handsome.

“Hey, don’t let my crackers go to waste. They’re hard to get a hold of around here, you know,” Mobius says, and Loki seems to move.

They stay like that for awhile, Loki sitting as Mobius watches over him. Mobius is just getting comfortable again when Loki gets up.

“It’s been great, but we probably should be heading back now,” he says, walking towards the door. “Wouldn’t want the timekeepers finding out about this, would we?”

Mobius stops him, carefully telling him to wait. Loki does, back facing him.

“I can tell you’re tired, Loki. I get it. You got here just after a war,” Loki tenses, just barely, at the mention of New York. Mobius talks faster to smooth it over. “I think you can take a day off. Better for me anyway. I don’t want to be sticking my neck out for someone who isn’t even helping all that much.” Mobius puts his hand on Loki’s shoulder. 

He’s always shocked by the amount of muscle he can feel through the material of Loki’s shirt. Loki seems so lean, but whenever Mobius touches him, he can feel how solid the other man is. He likes it. It’s soothing.

Loki turns around, looking suspicious. Mobius doesn’t blame Loki, but he does almost feel guilty. 

Almost.

“You can sleep here. Not just today. I’m sure the cot they have you sleeping in hardly compares to whatever you had on Asgard,” Mobius steps away, letting Loki go and waving his hand. “My couch doesn’t either, but it’s an upgrade for sure. Living room is all yours, buddy.”

“Where are you going?” Loki asks. Mobius looks at him. 

“To my room. I’m tired too,” he says. Loki blinks. 

“Won’t someone notice I’m not where I’m supposed to be?”

“I’ll take care of it,” Mobius says dismissively, even though he has no idea how he’s going to pull this off.

He’s practically made Loki a promise at this point. He’ll figure out how to make it all okay somehow. 

~

It’s driving Loki insane. 

Before, he could keep it all in because he was scared that Mobius wouldn’t want it. Wouldn’t want him. But now, there are moments that Loki doesn’t care. He doesn’t care that Mobius might push him away, give him that disapproving look if it meant Loki could just…

Kiss him. 

Loki scoffs at himself. He didn’t even get this caught up in the thought of a kiss as a boy. It was pathetic to feel like this in adulthood. 

What’s even worse is the thought that maybe this is how it’s supposed to be. He can recall watching Thor on Earth as he followed around Jane Foster, losing every bit of charm that kept him so popular on Asgard. At the time, Loki didn’t understand it.

But now he does. 

Everything is so high stakes for him - Loki is doomed if he doesn’t do as the TVA wants, and he would have been doomed had he just stayed on Earth like he was supposed to. But he barely even pays attention to those things.

Every waking moment is about Mobius. How he looks in the morning before he showers, hair tousled as he digs around in the fridge. The way his face lights up when he and Loki almost find the variant, and then the inevitable disappointment when they don’t. How every night, without fail, he tells Loki goodnight as the god falls asleep on his couch. 

Loki is starting to think there is something here. Because he’s paranoid, but not stupid. Mobius wouldn’t be letting Loki get this close if he thought the same way as when they first met. 

They enjoy each other. Mobius likes to lead, to rebel in the way he’s been given permission to. And Loki is realizing he doesn’t mind following a man like Mobius. 

~

Of course, the TVA isn’t so bad either. 

The organization itself, Loki hates. He’s never met the timekeepers, but they sound like kings. That was a group Loki never got along with. 

But the buildings, the center, was growing on him. Even if he wasn’t allowed access to most of the materials, Loki likes the library. He enjoys staying deep in the bookshelves, and bringing a stack out to drop right on the book Mobius is reading. Loki likes the elevators, which seemed to be the few minutes he could simply stand in silence and rest. He likes Casey too, though he tends to leave the poor, sad man alone now. 

Most of all, Loki likes the long hallways that rarely had anyone but him and Mobius. They feel private without being stifling. Sometimes, when the two go back to Mobius’s apartment too early, Loki feels sick. Like it physically hurts to be so close to having what he wants.

~

“That brown suit is hideous, you know.” Loki tells Mobius as they’re both getting ready. Mobius scowls at Loki.

“It’s uniform. You know, if everything works out, you might get one just like it,” Mobius retorts. Loki scoffs. “Alright then, mr. prince. What would you have me in?”

Loki stops, his eyes trailing over Mobius as he thinks about the question. Loki smirks, turning around as he grabs his belt.

“Anything else. You always look so uptight. No one here knows how to let loose a bit.”

“I’m uptight. That’s a good one,” Mobius says. He’s standing by the door, wanting to leave. “Could you hurry up and put your pants on? We’re late.”

All Loki is doing is tucking his shirt in, but he thinks he can feel Mobius looking. It’s in a way that doesn’t seem strictly observational. 

~

The nightmares, of course, are an issue. 

Loki hasn’t shared a room since he and Thor were children, so no one knows about the night terrors he gets. Maybe Mobius does, having had a glance at a few as he watched Loki’s life play out on the screen. But Loki doesn’t think so, because Mobius has never said anything. 

But of course, Loki has to ruin that. He wakes up with a shout that echoes off the walls. He slaps a hand over his mouth, then pulls it away, sticky with sweat. He’s pinching the bridge of his nose when Mobius bursts into the living room, slamming his hand over the light switch to turn it on.

“I’m sorry,” Loki says immediately, squinting at the brightness. “I didn’t mean to be so loud. I know you would get in trouble if someone were to find me here.”

“You.. I’d…” Mobius blinks, still half asleep and trying to figure out what’s happening. “Loki, are you alright?”

“I’m fine. Go back to bed, Mobius.” Loki leans more into his palm, cursing himself for letting this happen. If Mobius knows Loki like he claims to, he should just go.

Mobius stays in the doorway, and Loki can practically hear the gears turning in his head. Mobius sighs.

“Look, I’m not gonna ask you what it was, but… why don’t you sleep in here for tonight?” He gestures behind him, presumably towards his bed. Loki raises his head, looking at the other man.

Mobius looks sincere - painfully so. It seems like he doesn’t know what’s going on or what he should do, but he also looks like he just wants Loki to listen. 

Loki gets up, folding the blanket on the couch before he follows Mobius. Loki crawls into the bed after the other man, staying as far away as possible. He expects Mobius to say something else, but he doesn’t. Mobius just sighs and yanks the blanket towards him. 

~

Loki wakes up feeling amazing. 

He feels rested, warm and heavy as he stirs. The room smells like sleep, and Loki can’t help but raise his arms above his head and stretch. That’s when he feels something on his chest. Loki opens his eyes, peering down. Mobius’s arm is slung over him, the other man still asleep. 

Loki doesn’t move, trying to figure out how asleep Mobius still is. He wonders if they can stay like this for a few more minutes. 

He doesn’t take the chance. Loki gets up, quietly leaving so he can take a shower in the bathroom where his toothbrush sits next to Mobius’s. 

~

Mobius doesn’t like this shift in his feelings. 

He liked thinking Loki was all bravado with no depth. It was easy to separate everything that way. What was work, and what wasn’t. What mattered and didn’t. 

What was ethical or not. 

Being around Loki so much was making Mobius like him. Even worse, care. He started to dread rewatching certain scenes from his life to look for clues that might tell him where other Lokis are, because Mobius can see the effects of it all now. They’re playing out in front of him, sleeping on his living room couch. 

When Loki wakes up from whatever he was dreaming about, Mobius feels sick. He doesn’t even think about the fact Loki’s cry is loud enough to get caught - literally does not even occur to him. His only thought is, what now? What could possibly catch up to you here?

After Loki lays down in his bed (which was easier to get him to do than Mobius thought), Mobius listens for his breathing to even out. Then he reaches over, resting his arm on Loki’s chest. Mobius falls asleep making sure Loki is still breathing. 

~

Mobius notices the way Loki looks at him. The realization makes Mobius think about the two of them. What it would mean. 

It hasn’t even occurred to him to look at Loki like that, not seriously. Loki is an asset, so Mobius built up a ton of walls for the sake of professionalism. You know, for his job. Mobius is aware of Loki’s attractiveness because he has to be. It’s part of the reason all these Lokis get away with so much. 

But after that night Mobius begins to look at Loki because he can. And then he realizes he’s been doing that all along. 

“You know,” Mobius tells Loki the next afternoon. They’re in the cafeteria, and Loki is eating everything in his salad but the cherry tomatoes. “It might be better if you stay with me again tonight. Like you said, we wouldn’t want any of my neighbors to pick up on anything.” Loki raises an eyebrow, carefully setting his fork down. Mobius clears his throat.

“No need to be embarrassed, partner. I’m told I have a soothing presence.”

“I absolutely would not say that,” Loki says. “But… if you insist. After all,” Loki’s eyes glint. “You’re in charge.”

Mobius doesn’t know what to say to that, and drinks a cup of water in just one gulp.

~

And they settle into it. Loki doesn’t sneak out of Mobius’s arms, in fact, he actively seeks them out. Only once everything is quiet and the lights are out, but still. Loki tucks his head under Mobius’s chin, Mobius wraps his arms around Loki’s torso, and they both like it. A lot.

They don’t mention it ever, but it doesn’t seem like something they aren’t allowed to talk about. It’s just part of the routine. Shower, study, search, eat, get in bed. It’s nice. 

At some point, Loki realizes this is the longest he’s stayed in one place for a very long time. 

~

Just like Loki thought, he’s the first to do it. 

They’re in the elevator, and it’s taking a particularly long time, and Mobius decided to stand closer than he needed to and Loki just… kisses him. 

The best part is, Mobius doesn’t even seem surprised. He opens his mouth when Loki bites down on his lip, and he holds on to the lapels of Loki’s jacket and Loki cradles his face. Everything is so familiar, so natural, and Loki can’t help but smile against Mobius’s stupid mustache. 

And then Loki pulls away. Mobius doesn’t say anything, but he gives Loki a sad smile. Loki feels his blood run cold. 

“What?” He asks, and suddenly, he feels like a child. Like Mobius knows something he doesn’t, and now Loki is going to be chastised. 

“Nothing,” Mobius says, but that’s obviously not true. He sighs. “It’s just… that can't happen again.”

Loki stares at Mobius. “Why?” He demands. “Did you like it?”

“Yes,” Mobius says. His hands are resting on Loki’s waist, but he slides one over Loki's stomach. Mobius’s fingers find their way through the holes that the buttons of Loki’s shirt leave. The feeling of Mobius’s fingers on Loki’s bare skin make Loki dizzy, and confused. 

“Then why can’t we do it again?” He asks, wanting to rip Mobius’s hand off of him, but unable to bring himself to. Mobius grimaces. 

“Loki... Isn’t what we got goin’ enough?” Loki is cool under Mobius’s fingers. No more than anyone else though, even with his frost giant heritage. “C’mon, Loki,” when Mobius glances at Loki, then immediately looks away. The sight of Loki’s disorientated face, combined with his mouth slightly ajar… it’s too much. “You know if it goes any further one of us will screw up. I’ll even say it’ll be me. But someone would notice. It’d be impossible for them not to.”

“But… you’re the one who started this,” Loki protests, and he’s right, because Mobius is the one who brought him into this whole mess. The TVA, his apartment, his bedroom. It’s all been Mobius. Loki never asked for any of that. 

“I know,” Mobius says, and he sounds like he’s sorry. “Listen, I know. I’m sorry. We can’t have it all, but if we keep going the way we have, we can still have some.”

Loki steps away, and Mobius’s face falls. He looks more angry than sad. 

“I think I’d like to go back to my cell now.” Loki says. 

~

Loki doesn’t actually go back to his cell. But he does sleep on the couch again, and refuses to touch the Goldfish Mobius leaves out.

Mobius feels like a dick, but he’s also sort of pissed. He’s not happy about this either, and if Loki wasn’t always so selfish, he would see that Mobius also isn’t prancing around in happiness. 

“I’m not like you,” Mobius tells Loki the next morning. “Look, I can’t just… rebel. It’s not a luxury I’ve been afforded.”

“I’m glad that after seeing my entire life and death, you’ve settled on the word ‘luxury’ to describe it,” Loki responds angrily, and Mobius just backs off. He knows he won’t get anywhere with Loki, not like this. 

~

Watching Loki close himself off is… exactly what Mobius would have thought it would be. 

It’s exactly the same as when Loki arrived at the TVA, he’s just less defensive. Loki is just as mad at everyone else, but with Mobius, Loki doesn’t even give him a reaction. He does exactly what’s asked of him, no more and no less. 

Mobius misses him. 

Loki is just across the table, but Mobius misses their rapport. He wants to tease the god again, hassle him as they make their way to the cafeteria. Mobius wants to listen to Loki talk about Asgard, tell him all the little details that can’t be picked up on a screen. He wants his friend back. 

And now Mobius isn’t sleeping, either. He grew used to Loki’s head resting on his chest, the feeling of his hip in his hand. Mobius thinks about the skin of Loki’s stomach, how everything in the elevator felt. 

It was like Mobius lit up. He felt alive again, with free will and all.

But of course, Mobius doesn’t have free will. If he did, he’d pull Loki into the elevator himself, and show Loki just how much wanted this too. 

~

It hurts because Loki knows Mobius wants this. 

It’s almost worse than if he didn’t - because Mobius liking, wanting, and maybe even needing Loki back, it makes him like everything else in Loki’s life. Loki is so close, he can reach it, even hold it in the palm of his hand. A life with Mobius, at least for the time being, would be exactly as it was before the argument, except more so. Just a bit more. 

Loki can’t take it. He feels like he’s going to vomit every second of the day, because his life is a vicious cycle and coming so far just to be thrown away.  He takes long showers now, the stream of water being the only thing that can drown out his thoughts. Loki almost doesn’t see Mobius as he steps out of the bathroom, drying his hair. 

“Loki,” the other man says, and his tone is so grave that Loki stops. 

“Mobius,” he responds. “Do you need something?”

“I… I wanted to apologize,” Mobius takes a step forward. “For what I said.”

Loki tilts his head. “For which part? I recall quite a few things.” A look of exasperation passes over Mobius’s face. Loki hates to admit it, but the look is relieving. It makes everything seem less serious than it is. 

“What I said about not being like you,” Mobius explains. “Look, I know you’ve felt alone your whole life. And the way I said that, I don’t feel good about it. I’m sorry.”

Loki blinks, then throws his towel in the hamper. 

“It’s fine,” he says. Mobius shakes his head, stepping even closer, and Loki raises his eyes. 

“No, Loki, it’s not,” Mobius reaches up, running his fingers through Loki’s damp hair. “I lied,” he murmurs. “I lied to the God of Lies. I am like you, Loki. I’m your kind. I know Lokis, so I know who you would have been. But this you?” Mobius places his hands over Loki’s hips and pushes, pressing Loki’s back against the wall. “I’m still getting to know who you are now. And I like you, Loki. I really do.” Mobius stares at Loki expectantly. Loki swallows, resting his hands on Mobius’s shoulders. Mobius is softer than Loki is, and it makes Loki’s mouth water. From here, Loki can see every wrinkle and gray hair that Mobius has. He’s painfully human. Loki closes his eyes, leaning forward to press his lips against Mobius’s temple. 

“Do you mean it?” He asks. “Will it stick? Are you going to call it all off?” At this angle, Mobius can reach Loki’s neck, and he begins to suck on the delicate skin there. Loki lets out a moan. 

“I can’t promise we’re gonna get married and be together forever,” Mobius teases Loki lightly. He runs his tongue over Loki’s Adam’s Apple. “But I’m not gonna stop just because of the TVA. You.. you’re worth more than that.” Mobius slides his palms under Loki’s shirt and up his back, and Loki melts into him. “I promise.”

“Okay,” Loki says, because that’s all there is to say. He trusts Mobius, Loki realizes. He wholeheartedly does. 

“Loki,” Mobius says, exhaling. “Can I touch you? Do you want me to touch you?”

Loki straightens, catching Mobius’s eye. 

“Yes.”

#also as you all know i hated the show so if some details are off. good <3 #lmao i called casey randall bc i thought that was his name #anyway #loki #loki laufeyson #mobius #mobius m. mobius #mobius m mobius #lokius #loki x mobius #loki laufeyson x mobius #loki laufeyson x mobius m. mobius #owen wilson #tom hiddleston #loki 2021 #loki (2021) #loki series

[freddie-weaselbee]

Everything You Do

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Language, love potion, small argument but honestly really fluffy

Summary: Y/N tries to get back at Fred for years of pranks, only to have her plan blow up in her face and she has to suffer the consequences for 48 hours. 

Request: @darthwheezely i literally loved writing this so much and now magic’s gonna be stuck in my head for the next week so thanks for that

Word Count: 7.9k yeah I may have gotten a little carried away

Song: Magic by One Direction

A/N: For the sake of the story One Direction exists in the 90′s and Hogwarts has Muggle radios. Also I spent my Valentine’s Day writing this instead of actually doing something romantic because Fred owns my heart and real men don’t compare. That’s my excuse. 

------------------------------

“This is a really dumb idea.”

“I know, that’s what makes it so fun!”

Angelina Johnson was standing guard outside of a small broom closet while you were mixing together dozens of ingredients you had swiped from Snape’s storage room. He had been distracted punishing the troublemaking twins, giving you the perfect opportunity to grab everything you needed. Ironic how they were the ones who made it possible for you to enact your plan against them. 

“I still can’t believe you roped me into this.” Angelina was one of your best friends since your first year at Hogwarts. The two of you had been inseparable for years, which meant she always had your back, even if that consisted of concocting a love potion for a certain redhead Gryffindor. 

You added the last of your ingredients and continued to stir, being careful not to mess up the very specific directions for this spell. “C’mon Angie,” you said, “you know you want to get him back as much as I do.”

Angelina sighed heavily but didn’t argue. The two of you were usually on the receiving end of pranks from Fred and George and anything you ever planned to do to get them back failed miserably. But the second you overheard them talking about making love potions to sell an idea formed in your mind. 

“It’s finished.” You poured the cauldron’s contents into a small vial before cleaning up any traces of your unlicensed actions. This small potion was about to make your life a lot more interesting. “You can get us into the kitchens, right Angie?”

The girl nodded and led you out of the closet and down abandoned corridors. Angelina’s prefect status had been extremely helpful in many cases, as no one would question why the two of you were out late. You could barely contain yourself as you thought about the chaos that would be happening in less than 24 hours. And by God did Fred Weasley deserve all that was coming to him. 

------------------------------

You had everything planned out. Angelina and you spent the night baking the potion into some brownies with the help of the house elves, a treat you knew Fred wouldn’t be able to resist. The plan was simple. 

Angelina had asked George the other night if he would want to go on an early morning walk and get in some extra Quidditch practice, so it would only be Fred and Lee in their dorm room when they woke up. The way the potion worked was that, once consumed, the first person the victim makes eye contact with is the person they fall madly in love with for 48 hours. And you and Angelina had decided on the perfect person to be on the receiving end of Fred’s love. Lee Jordan. 

While both Fred and George were responsible for the annoying pranks, Fred was always the instigator, which meant it was he who deserved revenge. Angelina had a soft spot for George and didn’t want to involve him in this prank. However, she had no reservations about seeing Lee, the boy who constantly flirted with her during Quidditch games, suffer from Fred’s pining for a few days. 

You made your way to the boys dormitory, bouncing with excitement of the prospect of messing with the boy who would tease you to no end. You knocked loudly on the door, which you knew would only put Fred in a bad mood. But you didn’t care. He’d be feeling nothing but love and bliss shortly.

The door was jerked open and a tall mess of ginger hair was standing in front of you, clothed in only a pair of boxers that had cute little Gryffindor lions on them. You had to stifle a laugh and remind yourself that it’s probably not polite to knock on someone’s door early in the morning and proceed to stare at their crotch. 

“What the bloody hell do you want?” he groaned, eyes still half closed. 

“That’s not a nice way to greet someone who just brought you food, now is it Freddie?” His face changed as he registered your voice and finally opened his eyes wide enough to see you. A slight blush formed on his face as he realized the little clothing he was wearing, but it was quickly replaced by his signature cocky smile. 

“And what can I do for you this morning, love?”

You rolled your eyes and pulled the brownies from behind you, one of them normal and the other containing the love potion. “Angelina and I snuck out to the kitchens last night and snagged a bunch of brownies. I’ll give you one if you promise to leave me out of your pranks, at least for a little bit. I’m tired of waking up to centipedes in my bed and green dye dripping from my hair.”

Fred laughed and snatched the brownie you handed to him. “I appreciate the negotiation, darling, but it’s gonna take a lot more than some baked goods to get me out of your hair. Just ask my mum.” 

He was about to take a bite from the brownie, you knew this was it. “You’re insufferable Weasley, I’ll see you in class.” You turned and walked away, counting the minutes until the fun would begin. A door slammed behind you and you assumed Fred had gone back to his bed. With a skip in your step you made your way back to your dorm. 

You were about to open the door when you felt a rough hand on your shoulder. You gasped and spun around to see Fred towering over you. 

“Sorry to scare you love, but I needed to ask you something.” Before you could stop yourself you looked up at him. In his right hand was the half eaten brownie. His eyes caught yours and you watched, horrified, as they glazed over. The spell had worked. But now you were the target of Fred’s love. 

“Oh Godric, oh no.” 

Fred’s expressions suddenly changed. His previous cheeky and somewhat nervous grin was gone, replaced with a lovesick smile. “Have you always looked this beautiful?”

You screamed and pushed him into your dorm room, casting a locking charm from the outside. You hoped Fred didn’t have his wand and that would buy you some time. 

Sprinting back to Fred and Lee’s dorm you threw open the door and practically jumped on the dark haired boy sleeping tangled in his sheets. 

“Lee, wake up wake up!”

He groaned and slapped your arm away but you wouldn't give up. It took all of your might but you rolled him off of his bed, and he gasped loudly as his limp body hit the floor.  

“You’re an arse, you know that right?”

Lee finally sat up after he realized that pretending to be asleep would not stop you from frantically shaking him. As he rubbed his eyes and moved to get off the floor he saw the scared look that adorned your face. 

“Lee…” you said in a panic, “I messed up.”

------------------------------

George, true to his nature, was absolutely no help. Angelina had brought them back up early so she could check up on the plan, only to walk in on you groaning into Fred’s bed and Lee yelling about how you deserved it for trying to prank him. It only took a few minutes to fill George in, and he and Lee were both beside themselves imagining the possibilities of this turn of events. 

“Guys shut up,” you said, slamming your head into one of Fred’s pillows. “This is serious. How am I supposed to deal with Fred being in love with me for two days?”

“I don’t know Y/N,” Lee began mockingly, “it must be really difficult. Not something you would want anyone to have to experience, huh?”

You threw the pillow at his face. “You deserved it Jordan, Angelina agrees.”

The other girl nodded hesitantly. “I did think it would be great to see Fred madly in love with Lee, but now that this has happened…” her face shone with a sly grin that was so rare to find on the prefect, “I think I want to see it play out.”

“You are all horrible people.”

George moved to sit next to you and rub your back. “Hey, don’t worry, love. Maybe the potion isn’t as bad as you thought? Maybe Fred’s not going as crazy as you expected.”

He was. 

As you opened the door to your dorm you were engulfed in a bone crushing hug, one very similar to Molly Weasley’s embraces. “I missed you so much, don’t ever leave me for that long again!”

George and Lee had to walk away because they were laughing so much, leaving Angelina to stare at the scene in front of her. 

“Umm, Fred,” she asked, peering into the bedroom, “what the hell did you do in here?”

Fred released you from his hold and you could finally see the mess that he created. Everything you owned was pulled from your trunks and scattered across the floor. Your uniform, your books, even your underwear was haphazardly thrown onto your sheets. 

You and your roommate were glaring daggers at the boy in front of you, but if he noticed he didn’t care. 

“You like it?” he asked. “I wanted to be as close to Y/N as I could while she was gone, so I spread all of her belongings out to make it feel like she was right next to me.” He said the last few words with a dramatic sigh and you smacked your head, hoping it would knock you out of whatever nightmare you were in. 

You grabbed his hands in yours and led him back to his room, hoping too many people wouldn’t see him clad in only his underwear. “C’mon Freddie, let's get you dressed. We have a long two days ahead of us. 

------------------------------

You didn’t know if having most of your classes with Fred was a blessing or a curse. On one hand, at least he wasn’t skipping class to be with you all day and you could keep a close eye on him. On the other hand, you already had lost 50 house points and it wasn’t even lunch yet. 

“You look stunning with your hair pulled back like that.” Instead of doing his potions assignment, Fred was bent over resting his head on his hand and staring at you mixing together your ingredients. 

“And you look like an idiot standing like that, get back to work before we get in trouble again.” You thought that if you were rude to Fred then maybe he would get the hint and back off. But your potion turned out to be stronger than expected, and nothing you did could get him away from you. 

He pushed a strand of hair that had fallen out of your ponytail behind your ear, letting his fingers linger for a few seconds. It made you blush furiously but you didn’t want to give the boy any satisfaction. “Back to work Fred, now.”

The ginger sighed and grabbed a few ingredients, not checking to see what they were. He hummed and danced around the table, throwing them in while he quietly sang a familiar tune. 

You rolled your eyes and looked down at your own cauldron, before his hands were on your chin and your faces were inches away from each other. “Everything you do is magic, love. I could watch you all day.”

“I’m a witch, dummy. Of course everything I do is magic.”

“That’s not what I meant.” He went back to throwing random ingredients into his pot and you couldn’t help but laugh at the lovesick mess standing in front of you. That is, until the cauldron exploded. 

“Mr. Weasley, Miss Y/L/N, you insufferable idiots.” Of course Snape would blame you too. “Detention tonight.”

You groaned and slammed your head onto the table, but Fred just wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “Isn’t that great? Now we can spend even more time together.”

“Don’t remind me Weasley.”

------------------------------ 

The rest of the day had gone by surprisingly smoothly. George and Lee tried to distract Fred for a few hours to give you a little peace and quiet, but he always found his way back to your side. You started to attract odd glances as you moved through the castle with Fred’s hands intertwined with yours and his constant complimenting that made you turn even deeper shades of red. 

You tried to avoid public spaces as much as possible. If people saw the way Fred was acting around you it wouldn’t take long for them to piece everything together and recognize the effects of a semi-illegal love potion. And you really didn’t want to be known as the girl who forced someone to fall in love with you, even if it was a complete accident. 

However, dinner was difficult. Fred walked into the Great Hall with his arm draped over your shoulder, booping your nose and handing you a flower he had picked from the courtyard. You blushed and quickly put it in the pocket of your robe, hoping no one would notice. But they did. 

“Finally!” someone shouted, and you turned to the Hufflepuff table to see Cedric Diggory yelling. “MacMillan, you owe me 5 galleons!”

You furrowed your brow in confusion and turned to look at Angelina and George, who avoided eye contact with you. “Guys, what is he talking about?”

The four of you sat down, followed by Lee. Fred’s arm stayed stuck to you, even when you tried to shove him off. Angelina looked a little sheepish as she took a seat in front of you. 

“Well, we tried to keep it from you and Fred because we didn’t want it to get awkward, but…”

“Everyone has bets on when they thought you two were gonna shag, or at least snog or get together or something,” Lee piped up. 

You looked between the faces of your friends, searching for a joke. “You’re kidding. I know you’re kidding.”

George just shook his head and gave a small laugh. “Nope. Everyone’s in on it too. Even heard McGonagall and Dumbledore discussing their bets.”

Your jaw dropped and you looked up at Fred. “Did you know about this?” 

“The only thing I know, bunny, is how incredibly adorable you are.” He leaned his head on your shoulder and nuzzled himself into you, breathing in your scent. 

Your mind started to race with what this meant. “Oh no, now everyone’s going to be paying attention to us! How am I supposed to explain it in two days when suddenly we’re back to normal and everyone’s asking what happened? I’m gonna be in so much trouble…”

“Better you than me,” said Lee, who was growing increasingly more glad that your plan backfired and he wasn’t the one having to deal with Fred. 

“I hate this so much.” You tried your best to eat your dinner in peace, but with people congratulating you and passing around money the entire meal you started to lose your appetite. You completely lost it when you saw George grab a few sickles from a Ravenclaw student. 

“You bet on this too?” He shrugged sheepishly and looked down to count the coins in his hands. “I told you, everyone knew you were gonna get together, might as well place my own bets on it.”

“Are you forgetting Georgie,” you said, starting to get angry with him, “that we’re not together?”

A few confused heads turned your way and you immediately quieted down. If you had to play along, then that was what you would do. 

You stood up and grabbed Fred’s hand in yours. “C’mon, Fred, it’s time for detention. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” They said their goodbyes as you rushed out of the Great Hall, ignoring the comments thrown in your direction. 

The two of you arrived in Snape’s classroom and you practically broke down the door, just ready to get all of this over with. 

“Miss Y/L/N, please refrain from damaging my classroom any more than you and your idiot boyfriend already have.” The greasy professor stood in the corner, flipping through the pages of one of his potions books. 

“He’s not an idiot, professor. And he’s not my--” you stopped yourself from correcting your teacher and instead opted for quietly dragging your ‘boyfriend’ over to where your detention assignment was. 

“I want this room spotless, do you understand me? Not a speck of dust. And if I find out that you two have gotten up to anything...funny--”

“Trust me professor, you don’t have to worry about that.” You looked at Fred whose eyes were glassy and looking at you. You had to admit, the thought of something happening with Fred had crossed your mind in the past, but you knew it was only a fleeting thought. Besides, you would never take advantage of your best friend or anyone for that matter, especially when he was literally under a spell that made him fall in love with you. You’d have to be really careful with anything Fred did while the two of you were alone. 

Snape set out a checklist for your tasks for the night before sweeping his cape dramatically and gliding out of his classroom. 

“So,” Fred began with a sly grin, “now that we’re alone…”

“Not a chance Weasley. You’re under a love potion and I want to get this done quick so I can head to bed and pretend this day never happened. So let’s get to work.”

He pouted and tried to put his arm around your waist but you slapped it away. “I’m serious Fred. If you love me then you’ll help, ok?”

Fred’s expression changed quickly and he nodded with enthusiasm, grabbing all the supplies needed to begin cleaning. You couldn’t help but stare at your best friend gleefully prance around the room, sweeping all of the dust while humming that familiar tune under his breath. 

Your mind went back to what your friends were saying earlier at dinner. Did everyone really think that you two would get together? I mean, you did always flirt with each other, but that was just how you were. Your personalities bounced off of each other so well, which led to you being practically inseparable for the past few years. Even after his pranks and jokes you could never be mad at him for more than a day, and you always found your way back to his side. 

You were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn’t notice that the boy was suddenly right behind you. “Dance with me, my love?” 

As you turned you saw him bowing with an arm extended to you, and you couldn’t help but giggle at him as his long red hair covered his face. “Fred, I told you, nothing’s gonna happen tonight.” 

But he grabbed your hand anyways and pulled you tighter to him. “Who says anything has to happen? This is just a friendly dance with the love of my life.”

“There’s not even any music, how are we supposed to dance?” He dipped you down and pulled you back up to his chest. You hated to admit it, but his lovesick state was growing on you. 

“We can dance to the beats of our hearts, my dear.” And the feelings were gone. You rolled your eyes at his tacky remark and had to remind yourself that this was just a fabrication of love and obsession that was created in a cauldron and consumed by your friend against his will. But some innocent dancing wouldn’t hurt. 

“Fine,” you said, “we can dance for a little bit, but then we work, got it?” 

He cupped your face and his thumb rested on your slightly parted lips. “Anything for you, my love.”

While you hated the cheesiness of Fred’s words, you had to admit that dancing haphazardly around the potions room, knocking over empty cauldrons and vials, was pretty fun. Fred hummed the song he had been humming nonstop for the past few days as he spun you around and pulled you back close. 

There were many instances where he tried to press his lips to yours, but every time you would spin away and distract him with some more dancing. His smile grew wider and wider after every second, and you thought it was a sight you could get used to. You probably would have continued to dance all night, except for the fact that you tripped over the broom Fred used earlier and it reminded you that you had a punishment to fulfill. 

But while you cleaned up the mess you couldn’t stop yourself from staring at the ginger boy across the room, and wondering what it would be like to dance with the real him some day. 

------------------------------

You awoke with an awful crick in your neck and aches all over your body. As your eyes adjusted to the dim light you realized that you weren’t in your dorm room lying on your comfy four poster bed. No, you had fallen asleep sitting against a wall of the potions room floor, with Fred laying his head on your lap, still fast asleep. 

You blushed at the position, but selfishly stayed still for a few minutes, staring at the slow rising and falling of Fred’s chest. He’d always been the cuter twin in your opinion. Slightly shorter, but with a rounder face and less bumped nose than his brother. His soft features were a huge contrast to his sharp and blunt personality, and they balanced each other so perfectly. 

He slowly shifted so his head was facing you, still laying on your lap. He looked up through his lashes, smiling softly. 

“Hey beautiful, hope you slept well.” Your heart melted at his words, along with his deep morning voice. But you had to remind yourself that this wasn’t real. It would never be real. 

“I reckon you slept fine, you had me as a pillow.” You lifted his head and shoved him off of you, standing up to brush yourself off. “I was stuck leaning against these cold walls with a 6’ 3” ginger laying on top of me. Best sleep of my life.” 

That was when the reality of what happened actually kicked in. It was the next morning, and the two of you were still in your clothes from yesterday and still in Snape’s classroom, who was bound to return any minute. 

“Shit.” You grabbed your friends hands and dragged him to the door. “C’mon Freddie, we have to get back to the Common Room before Snape sees us. Or someone else.”

“Who cares who sees love?” He stopped in his tracks which made you fly back into him. “I want the whole world to know how much I love my little angel.”

“I care who sees. And you don’t love me Fred, it’s the spell. C’mon let’s hurry up, please.” No matter how many times you tried to explain the love potion Fred just wouldn’t listen. But he finally decided to follow you through the labyrinth of the dungeon and back to Gryffindor tower. 

You thought you were home free before you heard a voice from behind you. “Looks like someone had a fun night, didn’t she?” 

You increased your pace and shouted back at the laughing figure, clad in green and silver. “Sod off Malfoy, it’s none of your business or anyone else’s for that matter.”

But he just continued to laugh and ran away, probably to tell his goons all about what he saw protruding from Snape’s classroom early in the morning. 

“He’s a real arse, isn’t he, doll?” Fred’s words made a small smile spread on your face, glad that the potion didn’t take all of his personality away. 

“Yeah he is, Freddie. Now let’s get you dressed and ready for class, ok?”

Fred grinned as you spoke the Gryffindor password to the fat lady. “Only if you promise to meet me in the courtyard for lunch. I have a surprise for you bunny.”

You pushed him through the door and back to his room. “Fine, but don’t call me bunny, ok?” He nodded reluctantly. “Oh and Fred?”

The boy turned around and stared at you dopily, hanging on to every word you said. 

“Please give me my tie back. I see it in your pocket.”

Fred sighed and gave you his best puppy dog eyes, which almost worked. But he eventually grabbed the tie and handed it to you. “Just wanted something to remember you by, that’s all rabbit.”

“I think that’s worse than bunny. Now get dressed and meet me back here for class. And if anyone asks you where we were last night, you lie, ok? We were in our dorms.”

He nodded so hard you thought his head would fall off. “Yes ma’am! How about a goodbye kiss?”

You sighed and kissed him on the cheek. “That’s all you get. Now off you go Weasley.”

Fred skipped back into his dorm room and started singing some song, which quickly turned into a scream, making you assume that one of his roommates had attacked him for waking them up so early. One day down, one to go. Easy, right? But what scared you was you didn’t know if you wanted this to end or if you wanted it to continue forever. 

------------------------------

“He’s insufferable, Angie. How am I supposed to deal with this again? Especially alone.” It was only minutes away from when Fred was supposed to take you out to lunch, and you really didn’t want to see him, especially since you had no idea how to feel about him now. 

Angelina smiled at you and sat down in the courtyard. “He can’t be that bad. It’s Fred!”

You gave her an ‘are you serious’ look. She nodded in understanding. “Yeah, ok it’s probably bad.”

“I just want things to go back to normal,” you groaned. “But that won’t even happen, because everyone thinks we’re dating now! Oh he’s gonna hate me when the potion wears off.”

“As if Fred could ever hate you, Y/N. You’re his favorite person, he’s said so himself.” Her words were not helping the internal crisis you were having.

“But what is everyone going to think? There’s no way they’ll believe we broke up after two days, and it’s not like Fred would play along and fake date me. I’m doomed.”

“You’re overdramatic, that’s what you are. We’ll figure it out, ok? And Fred will help once he’s back to normal. He could never get mad at you.”

“I hope you’re right. I just wish that he’d keep everything quiet and not make any big scenes.” The second you said that you saw Fred approaching you, but not from the ground. No, the drama queen decided to fly down on a broom, attracting everyone’s attention. “Oh great.”

“Have fun on your date you lovebirds!” Angelina called after you. You flipped her off as you walked to where Fred had landed. 

“Hello lovely, care for a ride?” Everyone was staring at you and you wanted nothing more than to get out of there. A display like this probably wouldn’t have bothered you if it was with someone you were actually dating, but the more people saw you and Fred together the more complicated an explanation would be. 

So you hopped on the back of his broom and whispered for him to fly away, fast. You zoomed through the air, away from the castle and down toward the Black Lake. 

The strong lake air filled your nose as your hair whipped around your face at top speed. You wrapped your arms around Fred tighter as he made twists and turns in every direction, causing you to scream and laugh at his antics. 

The afternoon sky was beautiful, and you took a mental note to do this again sometime, preferably with the man sitting in front of you. 

Fred finally landed the broom on an open piece of land, wildflowers blooming all around and the wind whistling in your ears. 

He grabbed your hand as you stepped off the broom and led you to a spot set up with a blanket and a basket of food. 

“Freddie…” It was too much for you to take in. This love potion must have been powerful stuff to make him go out of his way to do this for you. 

“Come here, dove, let’s eat.” 

You were speechless as you sat down on the blanket and were handed an assortment of foods, from mini sandwiches to grapes and strawberries to cupcakes for dessert. Fred grinned at the shocked expression on your face. 

“Fred, I...I don’t know what to say.” 

“Then don’t say anything, love.” He leaned in toward you, eyes flicking down to your lips. His beautiful, soft lips. At the last second before your lips met you grabbed a grape and plopped it into his mouth. Fred looked surprised at first, but he quickly recovered and did the same thing to you, feeding you a grape that he grabbed from the basket. This quickly turned into a food fight, with the two of you grabbing handfuls of fruit and chucking them at each other, diving out of the way and making barricades to protect yourselves.

You were laughing harder than you ever had before, so much so that the two of you lost track of time. 

“Oh, shoot, Fred. It’s probably time for our next class.” You tried to grab all of the supplies and pull him over to his broom, but his big hands wrapped around you from behind and held you in place. 

“Don’t leave, darling. I want to spend every minute of every day with you.” He rocked you from side to side, his words sending shivers down your back. You knew his words weren’t his. Deep down, you knew that this wasn’t the real Fred Weasley talking. But that didn’t stop you for pretending that it was real, at least for a few seconds. 

“Don’t say things like that, Freddie,” you said, unwrapping yourself from his hold. “You’re only making this harder than it already is.”

He followed you to the broom, you carrying the basket and blanket while tangling your arms around him again. You took off into the sky and you closed your eyes, soaking up every ounce of this fleeting beautiful moment. 

------------------------------

“So how are things with my brother going? Do I hear wedding bells in the future?”

You slapped George upside the head and huffed as you sat down for dinner, ignoring the laughs from your friends. 

“Shut up, George, I’m just glad this day is almost over. All I have to do is make it through dinner and then we can go back to our dorms and go to bed.”

Lee gave you a suggestive smile. “Yeah, our dorms. Just like what you two did last night.”

George started cackling like a hyena and you smashed your hand over Lee’s mouth. “Don’t say one word about that,” you hissed. “Malfoy’s already talking to enough people, I don’t want Fred thinking I took advantage of him and slept with him while he was practically drugged!”

This seemed to get through to the boys and they quieted down. 

“Nothing did happen though, right?” George was starting to get nervous, finally realizing what could’ve happened to his brother in this state. 

You shook your head. “Of course not. Only some dancing and falling asleep in awkward positions.”

“I am so glad that wasn’t me then,” Lee joked, trying to lighten the mood. You smiled slightly and turned to look for the man of the hour. 

“Hey, where is Fred anyways? We haven’t been apart for this long since he ate the brownie.” 

As soon as you spoke your words, Angelina sprinted into the room and sat next to you. “I’m sorry, Y/N, I tried to stop him but he wouldn’t listen.”

Your eyes went wide at Angelina’s words. “Angie, what are you talking about?”

Suddenly the doors to the Great Hall were flung open, and in rode Fred on his broom, throwing rose petals from a basket he was carrying. 

“Oh no,” you muttered. 

“Oh yes,” said George, who tapped Colin Creevey and asked him to get as many pictures of this as possible. 

Fred made a couple of laps around the hall and landed right in front of you. “Hello, lovely, are you ready for the show?”

You wanted nothing more than to crawl under the table and hide for the rest of eternity, but Lee was holding you in place and you were forced to witness the monstrosity of what was about to happen. 

Fred waved his wand at a nearby Muggle radio that he had planted, and the song he had been humming for the past few days came on, blaring louder than a normal radio should be able to. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, Fred began to sing. 

“Baby c’mon over I don’t care if people find out!”

George whistled at the scene and Creevey snapped a photo, the first of many to come. 

“They say that we’re no good together and it’s never gonna work out.”

You scanned the room frantically, looking for someone to help you out of this situation. But even Dumbledore looked intrigued as he sat back in his seat. 

“But, baby, you got me moving too fast,”

He kicked some food off of the table and it landed next to Malfoy, splattering his face with warm mashed potatoes. 

“Cause I know you wanna be bad,”

Fred started to do a very provocative dance move involving his broom and you could hear dozens of girls cheering for him. 

“And girl, when you’re looking like that, I can’t hold back!”

He held your face in his hands and pressed a kiss to your forehead before jumping on his broom and flying around the room, singing the chorus of the song at the top of his lungs. 

“Cause you, you’ve got this spell on me!”

Oh if only he knew. 

“I don’t know what to believe”

He did a loop on his broom and winked at you, making you smile against your will. No matter how annoying Fred was, especially under a love spell, he was still cute. 

“Kiss you once, now I can’t leave! Cause everything you do is magic, but everything you do is magic.”

He continued the song getting louder with each verse and making occasional stops to give you a small peck on the cheeks or forehead. 

After what felt like an eternity, the song died down and cheers from every table grew, even the Slytherins getting excited about the display. 

Fred landed next to you and sat down, hugging you tightly into his chest. “I love you, Y/N, with all of my heart.”

You felt yourself give in to your desires and you hugged him back tightly. “I love you too Weasley. More than you’ll ever know.”

He finally released you and you went back to your meals, your red blush not once leaving your face throughout dinner. After you and your friends finished you made your way back to your rooms. 

“I think I’m gonna turn in early Freddie, ok?” You didn’t really give him a chance to respond before you stepped into your room and started getting ready for bed. As you brushed your teeth and put on your pjs, the events from the past few days raced through your head. You pushed the thoughts out of your mind. After tomorrow morning, they wouldn’t matter. You and Fred would be back to your normal friendly selves and you would be struggling to come up with a way to justify the scene he had made in front of the entire school. 

As you pulled the covers up over your body you heard a shy knock on the door. Assuming it was Angelina you yelled for her to come in, only to see Fred standing in the doorway looking at you. 

You sat up slowly and gazed at the tall man, the one you felt yourself falling for even more in the past two days. “What’s up Freddie, are you alright?”

He nodded and made his way to sit on your bed. “I can’t sleep. Wanna sleep here with you. Can I sleep with you my love?”

You blushed at his words but nodded, scooting over to let him crawl into bed with you. You made sure to stay as far away from Fred as possible, but it didn’t help that he was constantly trying to pull you closer. 

“Fred,” you said, shifting out of his hold once again. “We shouldn’t be doing this. You’re not in your right mind and I don’t want normal Fred to wake up and wonder why we’re laying together.”

“But I wanna be here with you, pumpkin.”

You sat up again and adjusted the pillows underneath him so he would be comfortable. “How about you sleep here and I can lay on the floor, ok? That way I’m still close to you.”

Fred whimpered at the lack of heat from your body, but he nodded as you made a makeshift bed on the ground. Two days in a row sleeping on the floor. You guessed this was payback for ever thinking you could get back at Fred Weasley. 

You slowly fell asleep on the ground, listening to Fred’s soft breathing and your own pounding heart. Everything would be different in the morning. Everything would be normal again. 

------------------------------

You woke up early again, more aches and pains haunting your body. Groaning, you sat up to look for Fred, but he had disappeared. Had the potion worn off and he decided to head to his own bed? No, it wasn’t a full 48 hours yet, there was still a little time left. 

Your bathroom door shot open and out bounced Fred, looking more energetic than you had ever seen him this early in the morning. 

“Glad you’re up, love. I’ve got something to show you.”

Before you could protest, Fred was dragging you out of the Gryffindor tower and straight to the Astronomy Tower, which was usually empty this time of day. You were still clad in your pajamas but you figured no one would see you this early.

You made your way to the top and saw what Fred had meant. There was another blanket set up, but with a radio sitting on it instead of a basket of food. 

“I figured we could watch the sunrise together, sunshine,” he whispered into your ear, before pulling you onto the blanket with him. 

Fred turned on the radio and some soft music began to play. He threw his arm around your shoulders but you shrugged it off, knowing that the potion was going to wear off any minute now. 

“Y/N?” Fred asked. 

You looked at him tilted your head, gesturing for him to continue. 

“You know I love you, right?”

The look in his eyes made you want to break down. He was so beautiful, sitting in the glow of the sunrise. His eyes gleamed brown and gold, and you wanted nothing more than to get lost in them. 

“Yeah, Freddie. I know. Right now you do.”

Fred looked like he was about to say something else, when he started to get dizzy and he had to steady himself by holding onto your shoulders.

“Fred, are you alright?”

He didn’t answer, but instead took a deep breath and looked up at you. 

Fred shot away faster than a snitch at a Quidditch game, and you knew this was it. Your prank was over. 

“Y/N? What, how…? What’s going on? Did I just say I loved you? Bloody hell…” Fred’s head was spinning and you tried to calm him down. 

“Hey, it’s alright, don’t worry Fred.” You took his hand in yours and pulled him closer to you. “What do you remember?”

You didn’t know how this specific love potion worked in regards to memories. Whether Fred would completely forget the last two days or if he would remember them completely, you had no idea. Either way you planned on filling him in on everything. He deserved to know. 

“I, umm, I remember eating a brownie, and, and I needed to tell you something, but you looked too beautiful and I couldn’t. And all I wanted to do was tell you how amazing and incredible you are...and there was detention, and a picnic, and--did I really sing that song to you in front of everyone?”

You laughed at the boy who finally felt the embarrassment of his actions. “Yes you did Freddie, but it’s not your fault.”

He furrowed his brow at you. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” you began, “you know how you’re an insufferable twat who likes to prank me all the time?”

Fred smiled and gently nudged your shoulder. “That I do know, continue.”

“So, Angelina and I decided to get back at you, using my expertise in potions.”

His face dropped. “Potions? What potions? Did you use a potion on me?”

You felt horrible having to explain this to your friend. While nothing bad happened during the last two days, you couldn’t imagine what it must have been like for Fred. “You see, we sort of concocted a love potion to give you, as a joke--”

“What?” he screamed incredulously. 

You jumped as he spoke and he pulled his hands back from you. 

“A love potion? Are you serious?”

“I-I’m sorry Freddie, we didn’t think you’d get this upset, it was honestly--”

“So this… all of this?” Fred looked as if he was going to explode. He was tugging at his hair so hard you expected him to pull it out. “You toyed with me? You played with my feelings? So everything I’ve felt for you the last year has been nothing more than a stupid love potion?”

You were taken aback by his harsh words, dumbstruck by the side of Fred you’d never seen before. He was furious, and not at Snape or Malfoy like usual. He was furious with you. 

“Fred, what--”

“I can’t believe you, Y/N. I’ve been in love with you since the summer and now I find out that my feelings aren’t even real, just one big joke. Is that all I am? Just a joke to you?”

What was he talking about? The potion didn’t make up false memories of love. He shouldn’t have been in love with you for longer than the 48 hours. You reached forward to put your hand on his shoulder but he shrugged it off. 

“Freddie,” you began, “we gave you the potion two days ago. Everything else was...not our doing. I promise you that. We just thought it would be a fun joke and we knew it would rub off quickly. But I swear, we haven’t been toying with you. I care about you too much to do that.”

You’d never seen Fred look more confused in his entire life, and that was counting the time that you took polyjuice to make yourself look like him and convince him that you were his long lost triplet. 

“You...I...only two days?” He turned to face the edge of the tower, staring into the sunrise. You moved with him and ended up sitting in front of him, so close that you were practically on his lap. 

“I gave you the potion thinking that you were going to fall in love with Lee. But you of course had to ruin the plan and fall in love with me instead. Everything you’ve been feeling for the past two days in fake. But other than that, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Your brain was racing with possibilities of what he could mean about the last year. It settled on one, but there was no way that could be it. 

You rubbed your thumb over Fred’s knuckles soothingly as you watched him try to comprehend what was going on. “So, the butterflies I got when I saw you in a swimsuit over the summer? The way my heart beats faster every time you look at me? The way I can feel myself falling in love with everything you do? That’s not...that’s not fake?”

You felt your breath hitch in your throat. Butterflies? Heart beating? Falling in love? “Fred, if this is some sort of reverse joke to get back at me it’s not funny at all.”

He shifted and pulled you into a tight hug as he noticed your vulnerability, so uncommon with you. “Of course this isn’t a joke, love. But you have to tell me, was it all real? Please tell me it was all real and that the potion’s over with now.”

You smiled and felt small tears prick your eyes. “The potions over, Freddie. Whatever you felt before and whatever you feel now...it’s real. There’s no spell on you anymore.”

Fred pulled back from the hug and cupped your cheek in his hands. His eyes seared into yours and you never wanted to look away. “Y’know,” you whispered, “sometimes I wonder if you’ve got me under a spell.”

Fred laughed and twisted your hair in his fingers. You thought he had never looked more handsome laughing at you in the morning light. “That’s the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard you say, love.”

You scoffed at his remark. “You got up and sang that to me in front of the entire school!” you nearly shouted, slapping his chest. 

“Yeah, while I was literally under a love potion that you gave me! Just that desperate for me, are you?”

You knew he was joking, but he was poking at the truth. “Maybe I am Freddie, maybe I--”

But you didn’t have time to finish, because you were cut off by his lips on yours. It caught you by surprise, but it wasn’t long until you melted into the kiss. His one hand rested on the small of your back and the other moved to the back of your neck, pulling you closer. 

You sighed into the long overdue kiss and crawled on top of the love of your life, straddling his hips.

Your hands played with his hair like they had countless times before, but this time it was different. This time it really meant something, to the both of you. Fred pulled you closer and you shifted so you were pushing him onto his back. Unfortunately, neither of you were very aware of your surroundings and his head hit the radio, forcing it to change stations. 

The two of you giggled and continued to make out in the morning sun, but you stopped once you heard the song that came on. 

“Is that…” you asked. 

“It can’t be. There’s no way.”

But the radio was without a doubt playing the song that the whole school was now familiar with. You sat up and stared at Fred, eyes asking him if he somehow planned this. 

Fred just shrugged and pulled you back onto him. “Must be magic love.” You smiled and went in to kiss him again. As the song ended Fred spoke the last lyrics into you, sending shivers down your spine. 

“But everything you do is magic.”

#fredweasley #fred x reader #fred #fredweasleyfluff #hogwarts #georgeweasley #leejordan #fred weasley x reader

[butgilinsky]

you don’t understand, poppet // dm

warning; language i think? 

summary; being severus snape’s daughter makes your time at hogwarts just slightly difficult 

word count; 5.8k+

draco x snape!reader, dad!snape x daughter!reader

this doesn’t follow the harry potter timeline!

you don’t remember how exactly you ended up here, sneaking out of draco malfoy’s room at a despicably late hour, trying to flatten your hair while making sure that your sweater was put on the right way. 

it was one thing to sneak in and out of draco malfoy’s room every once in a while, but this had been the third time this week, and it didn’t help that it was starting to get harder to sneak out so often. 

the two of you had been sneaking around for longer than you could recall at this point. you hadn’t kept track, too busy tripping over yourself when you saw the blond boy smile at you from across the room. despite the two of you being a secret from everybody in the school, it was hard not to pick up on the longing gazes and the giggles that neither of you could hold back when the other was put under a microscope. 

you hadn’t always been the best friends with draco malfoy, but you couldn’t deny the fact that the slytherin boy had taken your heart in his hands with little to no effort. if it were completely up to you, with no complications sitting in the forefront of your mind, you would’ve announced to the entirety of the school about you relationship status with draco long ago. 

though, that proved to be anything but an option, given that the head of slytherin house was not only a less than tolerant man, but also your father. 

it had been nothing less than expected for you to be sorted into slytherin. being severus snape’s only child, and living up to the family name, it was inevitable for you to sport silver and green during your time at hogwarts. you were well versed in potions, given that it had been your father’s area of expertise and you had nothing but an abundance of herbs and liquids lying around the house when you grew up. 

most people were never given an opportunity to see severus snape’s fatherly side. the part of him that would read you to sleep, the part of him that had him leaning over the edge of his bed to pull you up after you’d had a nightmare. nobody ever saw the side of him that was reserved entirely for you, behind closed doors and almost never on the hogwarts campus. 

they all knew him to be the hard ass professor that took away house points far more than he awarded them. the one that assigned surprise essays when someone pissed him off in class. snape wasn’t seen as the fatherly type, though you and a few of the professors at hogwarts knew that wasn’t necessarily the case. 

he was hard on you, there was no doubt about that. he had always been hard on you, ever since you were born. it was no secret to you that your parents were never in love with one another. your father’s heart belonged to someone that didn’t want it, and you had been the product of a way to forget about that. 

he didn’t show you any special treatment while you were in class, or if you stepped out of line, but you preferred it to be that way. you hated your first few years at hogwarts, since it had mainly consisted of your housemates blowing you off as the favorite of the house by default. that, along with the few times that you found out kids were spending time to get into your father’s good graces. 

you had quickly isolated yourself, sticking your nose up at the kids in your house, and ignored by kids from other houses. it had taken you three years to allow yourself to slip into a steady friend group, guarding yourself from more people than you initially intended. 

and now here you were, trying to tip toe down the hall back to your room where you’d have to sneak into your room as quietly as you possibly could. you made the mistake of thinking you had made it safe and sound by the time you reached your door once, but your roommate had run off to your father the next morning and told him that you had been out after hours. 

that wasn’t a fun conversation to have at seven in the morning. 

you were surprised to see draco on the other side of your door early the next morning, knocking with a grin plastered onto his lips. your disheveled hair and narrowed eyes allowed him to know that you had just pulled yourself out of bed, completely forgetting about the quidditch match that you had promised to attend. slytherin wasn’t playing this morning, so most of your house would be sleeping in as late as possible. 

it took you all of ten minutes to get ready, throwing on an old sweat shirt that was very much not yours, though you weren’t sure who the rightful owner was. draco wasn’t going to tell you that it was his, one you had stolen from him a few months back when crabbe had spilled pompion potion down the back of your robes. 

you hadn’t even made it out of the hallway before you almost ran into your father, who stood tall and rigid in the middle of the hallway, eyes void of emotion as he looked between you and draco. 

“where are you two off to?” you rolled your eyes, stepping around your father and continuing your path out to the front of the building. 

“to the quidditch game. care to join us?” you pushed a smile forward, cocking your head to the side as you and your father had a silent argument. 

he had been suspicious about your behavior for a few weeks now. he’d caught you out in the halls after hours several times, though you were always quick to whip up a believable lie. that is one thing he wished you hadn’t inherited from him; the ability to be sneaky. you were. good liar, and he was to thank for that.

he shook his head slowly, lingering his gaze on draco for just a moment before you were gripping the boy’s elbow and tugging him in the direction of the pitch.

you sat beside draco during the game, not being able to ignore your father’s burning gaze on you practically the whole time. draco noticed the heavy gaze on the two of you as well, restraining himself from reaching out and showing you any form of physical affection.

the two of you had to do everything in secret. if anybody found out, your father would find out, and that was the last thing either of you wanted. 

your father liked draco, sure. he was the stereotypical slytherin student at hogwarts, which was bound to bring the two of them together. he sucked up to the right people at the right time, and wasn’t falling over himself at the sight of harry potter like most of the school usually did. 

but it didn’t matter how much your father liked draco. at the end of the day, you had his voice ringing in your ears, reminding you that you were, in his words, “far too young to be making decisions that will dictate the rest of your life’. you always rolled your eyes when he repeated the phrase you’d heard from a very young age, but now it was dictating just how you truly lived your life. 

you were close to being caught one afternoon, pinned between draco’s frame and a wall with his lips latched onto your neck. if it wasn’t for your keen hearing and the faintest clicking of shoes, you might have exposed your hidden relationship. but you were able to push draco off of you just in time, running around the opposite corner of the hall and leaving the flustered blond to be found by your father, all alone in the middle of the hall.

then there was the time you were late for class, your tie ever so slightly loosened and crooked. you were panting softly, though it was assumed that was from rushing down the hall to get to class. this is a time when most of the class expected you to receive special treatment, barely receiving the bat of an eye for being late to your own father’s class.

that assumption was wrong.

“late, miss snape?” you felt your breath catch itself in the back of your throat, nerves building up at the tone used to address you.

“sorry, professor, i was-“

“ten points will be deducted from slytherin.” you felt your shoulders sink when the slytherin portion of the room groaned at their entire house being punished from your mistake. “take your seat now.” 

you slid into your seat, catching a glimpse of draco’s gaze for just a moment. he smirked, not half bothered by the point deduction since he knew it was because you woke up later than you had intended, having to rush back to your own room to get ready before class. you rolled your eyes, though your lips tugged up into a soft smile that had his heart thumping in his chest.

halfway through the class and you had been completely lost. you were barely following, which had been a surprise to everyone in the class, especially hermione who sat beside you. the two of you weren’t the best of friends, but you found it easier to work together since nobody had been better at potions than the two of you.

so when you poured too much lethe river water into your cauldron, you threw your head into your hands and tugged at your hair.

“struggling?” your father stood at the end of your desk, hands folded behind his back as he quirked up an eyebrow at you.

“no.” you grumbled softly, moving to grab your cauldron so you could pour it out and start again. you were beat to it, the man before you grabbing it in his own hands and pouring the contents onto your desk right in front of you.

you jumped back, trying to avoid ruining your robes with the large amount of liquid, but ultimately failing. your sudden movement and loud gasped had surely caught the attention of everyone in the room.

“papa!” your eyes were wide, filled with shock and a twinge of hurt as you stared up at him in disbelief. 

“start again.” he dropped the cauldron onto your desk and spun on the balls of his feet, eyes scanning across the room to test anyone to say something to him about his previous actions.

when everyone turned around and tucked their nose into their own books and recipes, you were left to clean up the mess with a newfound distress weighing in your chest. you had lifted your wand to clean up the mess, hoping to get rid of the liquid spilled across your desk quickly before your father was calling back to you without even sparing you a glance. 

“and don’t even think about using magic to clean your mess, miss snape.” your wrist paused, not even having time to conjure the charm before the rest of the class was looking at you, once again. 

you had gotten up to leave the class as soon as you were dismissed, ignoring the incessant calling of your name echoing between your ears. you had almost made it the entire way out of the room before you felt your feet glued to the spot, your muscles unable to move, which meant your escape was no longer possible.

the charm that your father used on you lit a fire in your chest. he hadn’t done it in years, choosing to address the problems between the two of you in different ways. the two of you played dirty when it came to fighting with one another, but gluing your feet to the ground beneath you was something that never failed to get underneath your skin. 

“y/n.” you sighed when your father stood before you, waiting for the rest of the kids to file out of the room before he allowed you to move from your spot. “what’s going on with you lately?”

“me? what’s going on with you?” his eyes softened, detecting the hurt in your voice and in your question. the two of you had never had this silent feud go on for so long. usually it was a few days at most, but you were teetering the line of a few months now, and you weren’t sure how much more embarrassment you could take.

“you’re keeping something from me.” you groaned, screwing your eyes shut as you racked your brain for another quick response. “and don’t lie.”

“it’s not a big deal, papa. it’s just not something i want to talk to you about.” you hoped it was enough, hoped you could circle around him and slip out the door without more of an interrogation.

you were wrong.

“did i do something?” you felt your shoulders fall at the question, feeling defeat creep into the back of your mind.

“no, you didn’t do anything. i promise.” you took a step towards him, allowing your arms to snake around his abdomen before squeezing gently. “i love you, papa.”

“i love you too, poppet.” his voice was soft, barely reaching your ears.

you were able to slip away then, making it halfway towards your next class before you were being tugged into an empty classroom. you were closed in between a familiar frame and the door, locking you in your place.

“close call, huh?” draco’s hand fell to your cheek, thumb softly stroking the soft skin of your cheek as his lips turned up into a smile.

“really close.” you smiled widely, eyes falling down to his lips just before they pressed against yours.

you had been sitting at dinner when you were being called into your father’s office, having to put your plate aside and excuse yourself from your conversation with draco and crabbe.

the familiar scent of peppermint filled your nose upon entry, a soft excitement bubbling in your chest when your father turned over his shoulder with a knowing look.

“cuppa?” you nodded eagerly, already feeling your tastebuds stand tall as they awaited your favorite tea.

your father always made the best peppermint tea.

you had taken a sip almost immediately after he’d set the cup in front of you, humming in delight while he circled the desk and leaned against it. he crossed his arms over his chest, eyes boring into yours as you sipped your tea.

“are you keeping something from me?” you brought the porcelain cup away from your face and narrowed your eyes.

“yes.” your eyebrows furrowed at your own voice betraying you.

“why were you late to class today?”

“i woke up late.” he narrowed his eyes at you, surprised that was truly the reason. he had expected your secret to come tumbling out by now. 

“have you been sneaking around with somebody?”

“yes.”

“who?”

“draco.” you slapped your hand over your mouth, unsure of why you were spilling out these truths until you caught sight of the small bottle that sat beside your father’s kettle. “you put veritaserum into my tea!”

“you’re right, i did. how long have you been sneaking around with malfoy?”

“a few months.” you groaned at your inability to lie to him right now. your lies had been the only thing saving you from your father’s rage for the past few months.

“were you ever planning on telling me?”

“no.”

“why not?”

“i doubt it’ll last.”

“why’s that?”

“because nobody wants to spend the rest of their life with me!”

your father stated at you then, finding himself at a loss for words. you didn’t truly believe that, did you? surely you would’ve told him that. surely you would’ve been able to realize that that isn’t true in the slightest. 

“why would you say that?”

“because it’s true.” your voice was soft now, eyes falling to your hands that were folded in your lap. 

the heavy feeling in your chest pinned you to your chair. you had never admitted these things out loud, always finding the embarrassment far more intimidating than you were willing to face. it was also common knowledge that your father wasn’t the most emotive person, keeping most of his life experience and thoughts on almost every single subject known to man, to himself. 

“poppet-”

“i don’t want to talk about it anymore, papa.” you pushed yourself to stand up from your chair, the lump forming in your throat taking all of your focus in order to swallow it. 

“y/n, just talk to me!” you shook your head, moving to wipe away the single tear that dared to roll down your cheek. 

“why? so you can tell me that i’m too young? that i don’t understand anything about life because i’ve barely scratched the surface of what life has to offer? i’m tired of hearing that. i’m tired of being told that i don’t know what’s good for me because i’m too young.” 

your cheeks were wet with tears now, your voice slightly scratchy from the strain you’ve been putting on it in the last few minutes. snape’s lips parted, his mind racing in order to try to find the words to say to you in order to make all of this better. 

“you don’t understand, poppet-”

“to hell with that, papa! i’m set to graduate soon!” 

“graduation has nothing to do with your ability to make decisions for yourself!” you froze in your spot, staring at the man who was now seething in front of you. 

his breath came out in heavy sighs, his chest rising and falling with the beat of his anger as he watched you sink in front of him. your shoulders fell, your tears cascading down your cheeks as you stood there at a loss for words. 

your mind reeled, thinking about every time he had told you something similar. within seconds, your mind was filled with your father’s voice overlapping itself, tumbling out excuse after excuse as he drilled it into your brain. he didn’t trust you to make large decisions. life changing decisions. 

“you’re merely a young girl who thinks that she knows what she wants, but you don’t. you don’t know the trials and tribulations life is going to put you through, and if you think that that little twit malfoy is going to stick by your side, then you’re wrong.” your bottom lip wobbled just before you clamped your teeth down around it so it would still. 

you looked down at your feet, allowing him to continue his lecture of how you were unfit to choose the life you were going to live. you knew how your life was meant to go, and how it would play out, more than likely. 

you would be handed off to a boy that your father saw as fit, no doubt a boy that was physically and mentally capable of caring for and protecting you. you knew that your father wanted you to be safe and respected throughout your life, but that didn’t mean he trusted you to pick who you would share your life with. 

it had been a philosophy he’d taken from his youth. he didn’t want you to experience the world that he had to endure, and although you appreciated that, you weren’t him. you weren’t going to follow his footsteps that closely, but he had tuned you out when you tried to assure him of that. 

when he stopped, words halting on the tip of his tongue while his eyes were locked onto your defeated and shaky figure, your eyes locked with his once more. you saw the flicker of guilt in them, but you also watched that flicker fleet quickly, replacing itself with the same absent look he often held. 

“it’s getting late. you should head off to bed.” you nodded once, turning on the balls of your feet to step back out into the hall, fully intending on bolting straight to your dormitory. 

“y/n!” you turned just before making it fully out of the door, turning over your shoulder to lock eyes with your father once more. “don’t even think about stopping by that boy’s dormitory on the way.” 

the tears spilling down your cheeks had been far too much for you to wipe away. it would have been useless since there had been a build up in your eyes large enough to refill an entire lake if prompted to. 

“well if it isn’t our favorite snape.” you ignored the weasley twins’ comment, walking straight past them without so much as a glance in their direction. 

you were able to dodge both of their frames, sliding between the two of them successfully. george had caught sight of your wet cheeks, but had no time to ask about them or point them out to his brother before you had turned the corner and disappeared from their sight. 

you thought you had made the cleanest getaway you were capable of, just as you were colliding into another figure, too busy staring at your feet through burred vision to notice the boy walking towards you. 

“bloody hell, love, you just about ran me over just now.” you had mumbled out an apology, turning to duck out of his way and move around him before he could see the tear track on your skin, but it had been too late. 

he had reached for your cheek out of habit, moving your head back ever so slightly with every intention of greeting you with a kiss in the middle of an empty hallway. he stopped at the damp feeling on his fingertips, and the sight of tears leaking out of your eyes and rolling down your cheeks. 

“oh, love. what’s happened?” you shook your head, reaching for his wrist to pull his hand away from you in an attempt to save yourself the embarrassment. “darling, please. who’s at fault for making my pretty girl cry like this?” 

“he knows.” you squeaked out, voice weaker than you had originally thought it to be. 

draco’s eyes widened ever so slightly, partially out of fear of how snape would eventually confront him about the newfound news, but also because he knew how much you tried to avoid this very scenario. the two of you had been as carefully as you possibly could be, and now you were in front of him, sobbing in the middle of the hallway.

“i reckon it didn’t go well.” you shook your head slowly, not being able to stop the built up of fresh tears in your eyes. “let’s get you to bed.” 

his soft voice, along with the way he wrapped his arms around you brought you a sense of needed comfort. he walked you back to your dormitory, threatening both of your roommates in order to get them out as soon as the door opened. 

they scurried out, not sure what was happening but surely making a mental note of taking this straight to snape in the early morning. you couldn’t bring yourself to care much, too focused on the sound of your father’s voice still swimming between your ears. 

you spent the night in draco’s arms, spilling every detail of the conversation between you and your father. it pained the boy to hear the quiver in your voice as you spoke, having to pause every now and again to choke out a sob in between words. he stayed by your sight for the entire night, arms wrapped around you while he listened patiently. 

he didn’t try to talk you down, or assure you that everything would be alright. he knew you hated empty promises, and truth be told, he didn’t know if it would all be okay. all he knew for sure was that he was going to fight for you if faced with the decision. 

you had developed bags under your eyes over the past few days, feeling more defeated and exhausted than you did during exams at the end of every year. your shoulders had fallen more often than not, eyes void of the glint they usually held. you only ever smile behind closed doors when draco would pull out all of his tricks to bring the very action out of you. 

the last thing you wanted to do today was to stare your boggart in the eye. 

you hadn’t been the first to go, which had been slightly uplifting, though the anxiety continued to bubble up in your chest as you waited to stand at the front of the queue. it had been comical when your father tumbled out of a wardrobe while neville stood at the front, shaking at the mere sight of your father. 

your classmates, especially those you shared a house with, had expected you to find the sight more amusing. they expected you to laugh or even crack a smile at the sight of your father in high heels and a dress, but you didn’t. you had ben too worked up about what you were about to see. what the whole class was about to see. 

“alright, miss snape. wand at the ready.” you nodded slowly, raising your wand in front of you as you anticipated the next few moments. 

you casted a glance at draco, who had already had his turn moments ago and stood just off to the side with a reassuring smile. you tried to shake the nerves from your head, but when the creature before you took the shape of your father, seemingly two feet taller than he actually stood, you felt your heart thud harshly in your chest. 

he loomed down at you, gaze as cold as it usually was and shoulders squared. his hands were folded behind his back, his tongue clicking against the roof of his mouth as he stared at you with the utmost disappointment in his expression. 

“pathetic little poppet.” you felt your breath hitch in your throat, completely forgetting about the full room of students that stood around you, watching the entire thing as it played in real time. “a disgrace to the name i’ve so graciously awarded you.”

your lips parted, the spell sitting on the tip of your tongue, but held back by your lack of focus. you had forgotten about the assignment, forgot that there was a way to end this experience now and forever. 

“far too young and weak to make lifelong decisions. you’ve relied on me your entire life, did you think that was going to come to an end anytime soon?” you clamped your lips tightly shut as tears stung your eyes for the first time in several days. 

you hadn’t spoken to your father since the conversation in his office. you avoided his gaze in the great hall, and he avoided picking on you in class. the two of you had an unspoken agreement that you would keep your distance from one another, far too tense to try chipping away at the ice for now. 

“you’re never going to be able to-”

“riddikulus!” your head whipped around, casting a gaze across the room just in time to catch your father lowering his wand, a mortified expression displayed clearly across his face. 

the room was silent, not even professor lupin had something to say on the subject. that is, until he clapped his hands together and told everyone to grab their things and hurry out of the room. 

just before draco walked out, your father pressed a firm hand to the boy’s chest and held him in place, telling him to stay put for the time being. 

draco had been waiting for the man to call him into his office, or keep him after class one day. he had expected this lecture long ago, and was surprised it had taken this long for the head of slytherin to make that step. 

there was an uncomfortable silence that hung in the air, nobody knowing how to break the thick blanket of tension that laid over the three of you. draco didn’t think it was his place to speak first, figuring there was far more to solve between the two of you than the small role he played in it all. 

“malfoy, i’m going to say this one time and one time only.” draco nodded, his own nerves bubbling up to the surface at how much of a mess he had made for himself by falling into a relationship with severus snape’s daughter. “one step out of line with her, and i’ll make sure you never forget who you’ve messed with.”

he had expected much more. more interrogation, or threats leading up to an inescapable command to break it off with you right then and there. draco hadn’t expected him to give in so easily, not even expecting an acceptance for years to come. 

you hadn’t expected it either, not seeing a future where your father allowed you to choose these things for yourself. you were sure he’d wed you off to a man you had little to no interest in for the rest of your life. never did you imagine him to stand here and give draco his blessing, even if those weren’t the words he used. 

“yessir.” draco nodded quickly, scared that if he took too long to accept the sliver of sentiment, that it would be retracted quickly. “i would never hurt her, professor snape.”

“you say that now, boyo, but i assure you-”

“papa, please.” your voice, although soft, carried across the room and brought both of their gazes over to you. 

“you’re dismissed, malfoy.” draco sent you a questioning glance, surprised to see you nod within seconds, giving him the silent cue that it was okay to leave you alone with your father. 

when the door shut behind the blond, your father was taking steps towards you, eyes casted down at his feet as he searched for what to say to you. he knew he stepped over the line the other night, but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to admit it to you just yet. he was still having trouble accepting it himself. 

“papa-”

“just, give me a moment.” you nodded, pressing your lips together in a thin line as you waited for him to find his words. “i shouldn’t have put veritaserum in your tea. i shouldn’t have said all of those despicable things to you the other night, and i should not have told you that you can’t make decisions for yourself.”

you nodded, not knowing how to respond to a thing like this. you knew your father wasn’t one to admit when he was wrong, but there still hadn’t been an apology that you were able to accept or reject in his train of thought. 

“it was wrong of me to trick and treat you like that. i shouldn’t have done it, and it won’t happen again.” you nodded again, still keeping your lips pressed together as his eyes drooped with sorrow. “i’m sorry.” 

“i just wish you trusted me with my own life.” you were shocked by your own words, seemingly holding the weight of the word in them. 

“i do trust you, poppet. i trust you, i just,” he stopped to breath out a heavy sigh through his nose. “i fear that you’ll make the same mistakes i made when i was your age.” 

“i wont.” you shook your head carefully, taking the small step that allowed you to wrap your arms around your father’s frame. “i’ll be careful, papa. i promise.”

“i know you will.” his voice was soft as he wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly to his frame. “but i was serious about what i said to malfoy.”

you laughed gently into the fabric of the man’s shirt, feeling his own chest bubble with a low laugh. 

just as the two of you unravelled yourselves from each other, you turned towards the door to make a swift exit by each other’s side. however, the sight of multiple pairs of eyes peering in through the window that led into the hall had elicited a soft growl from the pit of your father’s chest. 

you couldn’t help but smile at the sight of kids scattering away from the door, leaving the same blond boy that had just been in questioning with wide, apologetic eyes. 

“i tried to get them to leave, but nobody would listen.” your father huffed, muttering a small ‘thanks’ before turning to you and telling you to make sure you weren’t late for dinner. 

when he left, leaving you and draco standing in front of one another, you let a large smile spread across your lips. draco mimicked it, allowing himself to relax at the sight of you smiling and joyful once again. just as he made a move to reach for your cheek, his hand was clamped down back by his side involuntary, and the two of you were looking down the hallway at your father. 

“i’m not going to make it that easy on you, malfoy.” 

though he had kept his promise to not make it easy, keeping a close eye on the two of you for the remainder of your time at hogwarts, he accepted the love affair between you and the blond boy. 

you were head over heels for the boy, and he for you, and even your father was capable of picking up on that. so when draco stepped up to your house one evening, two years after graduation and while you were away at work, he sat down at the table in your kitchen, your father wasn’t surprised. 

draco, despite your now lengthy relationship and his ability to develop a strong relationship with your father, was still slightly surprised to see a grin, though small, spread across the man’s lips. your father had been waiting for this, wondering when draco was going to step up to the plate and drop to one knee in front of you. 

he was there for it all, smiling and even wiping a stray tear from his eye when you legally bound yourself to the malfoy boy. though he had been sour about your new last name, he would learn to deal with it. he would also learn to deal with three little ones running around with the very same name. 

he was partial to favoring the eldest, a boy with hair as black as his grandfathers, and the same name to prove the relation. your father would mess about with his three grandchildren, claiming that severus had been his favorite, but you were the one to blame. though, that wasn’t entirely true. he loved all three of them all the same. 

as long as you were happy, so was he. and you were the happiest you had ever been.

#draco malfoy #draco x reader #draco #harry potter #severus snape #snape x reader #tom felton #draco malfoy x reader

[idontblushsrry]

Yusuke Urameshi||SFW Alphabet

A/N: Writing for one of my favorite protagonists of all time? Don’t mind if I do. Slightest hint of spoilers for the end of the series and s3 but they’re really minor and and mostly non-specific.

Word Count: 1929

A: Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Yusuke is affectionate in a kinda subtle way, like he’ll put his hand in your pocket (in your back pocket if you let him) or vice versa, he just likes touching you and being close to you. The clingiest he’ll get is wrapping his arm around your shoulder or waist and pulling you closer so he can kiss you. Aside from that, Yusuke’s go to with affection is teasing, like if he isn’t messing with you or yall aren’t bickering, he’s probably really upset.

B: Best Friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

As a best friend, Yusuke is super rowdy. He’s always getting into some form of trouble or antics, and while this does calm down after the demon world tournament, he’s still always got that mischievous air about him. Your friendship probably started with you and Yusuke bumming around the same spots, namely the arcade, and you showing him how to beat one of the games.

C: Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Yusuke’s cuddles are very lax, he tends to just throw an arm around your waist and call it a day. He prefers being the big spoon but he doesn’t really like spooning all that much to begin with.

D: Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Yusuke is actually pretty good at cooking and cleaning. Atsuko left him home alone a lot with nothing more than a will and a way (maybe a microwave meal when he was younger). So while Yusuke isn’t the best cook, he won’t go hungry, and he’s more than content to empty the cabinet before going back to the store. As for cleaning, he’s pretty good at that once he has a direction to go in. He doesn’t always know what all needs to be taken care of but give him something to do and he’ll do it.

E: Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Yusuke definitely breaks up with you in person. No matters the conditions of your break up, you mean a lot to him; even in breaking up, he feels it’s best that he tell you face to face.

F: Fiance(e) (How would they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Yusuke is a committed person who’s very casual about marriage. He’s not pushy when it comes to getting married, he already knows he wants to be with you as long as possible. It’s all really up to what you’d want, maybe he’d get married for the sake of being able to say he’s married but otherwise, he doesn’t feel one way or the other.

G: Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Yusuke isn’t really gentle, at least that’s the way he wants to come off, but he really has a heart of gold. Yusuke is gentle with you in a way that he is with no one else. He speaks to you in such a gentle tone of voice, one that sets all your nerves at ease. The way he holds isn’t gentle, but firm, like he’s giving you the promise of safety and security without even using words.

H: Hugs( Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?

Yusuke doesn’t hug all that often. When he does hug you, it’s usually out of excitement, like he’s so overjoyed that he can’t help hugging you.

I: I love you (How fast do they say the L-word)

Yusuke just says it one day randomly and late as all hell. Like you and him could be together for a year before he just randomly goes “you know I love you, right?”

J: Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous)

You can’t take jealous Yusuke anywhere. He will act a damn fool and try and puff his chest out to try and intimidate the person he’s jealous of. The worst part is if Puu’s there, he’ll be copying Yusuke but trying to get your attention onto him instead. Together, the both of them are menaces.

K: Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Yusuke’s kisses are like a burst of sun after being inside all day, invigorating, exciting, and warm. The both of you have smiled into your fair share of kisses and often times Yusuke’s kisses leave you giddy and walking on air.

L: Little ones (How are they around children)

Yusuke is actually surprisingly good with kids. He knows how to look out for them since he’s used to taking care of others, plus his whole tough guy with a heart of gold shtick really endears him to little kids.

M: Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mornings with Yusuke kind of depend; if he wants to open his ramen cart early, and you’re awake, it’s mostly the two of you getting ready and prepping food for the ramen cart. If he wants to open a little later, Yusuke buries his head into your neck, leaving lazy kisses along your neck and jaw while the both of you just hold each other sleepily.

N: Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Yusuke usually cooks dinner for the both of you, he makes a whole show of it too. He says he does it selflessly but he always wears his kiss the cook apron “coincidentally” whenever he makes dinner. Afterwards, when the both of you head to bed, you’ll both spend the night giving each other slow kisses until the both of you fall asleep.

O: Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Admittedly, it does take Yusuke some time to truly open up to you. All his life pretty much, he’s been told he was useless and that he’d never achieve anything beyond being a delinquent monster, so it takes him some time to be vulnerable with you due to fear of rejection. He’s especially slow to reveal information about his true heritage. But once Yusuke trusts you enough to reveal his insecurities, he’s in love with you. 

P: Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Yusuke, while having absolutely zero patience with anyone, is very patient with you. Sure you go back and forth with him but even then, he never raises his voice.

Q: Quizzes (How much would they remember about you?  Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Yusuke comes off as not caring or remembering details about you, but if anyone knows you, it’s Yusuke. He knows you better than you know yourself, and it’s mainly because of his attention to minor details, ones that you might not even notice about yourself.

R: Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite part in your relationship was when you went to the beach with the gang and you and him teamed up to prank Kuwabara. It was honestly the most fun he’d had in a while up to that point and the delight in your expression from being so devious made his heart skip a metaphorical beat or two.

S: Security (How protective are they? How would they like to be protected?)

Yusuke’s super protective of you, the boy’s got a lot of enemies. While he doesn’t really think any of his demon ones would step out of line, he’s got plenty of human ones who’d be willing to mess with you to get to him. Not to mention you could just plain get robbed or attacked in general, Yusuke trusts you but he definitely shields you from any danger. As observant as he strangely is though, he is still a bit dumb when it comes to the fact that you’re looking out for him just as much as he’s looking out for you

T: Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Yusuke puts a decent amount of effort into your dates, it wasn’t always this way. Initially, Yusuke and you would just have dates that consisted of going to malls/arcades/bowling/etc. and it was all good, neither of you had a problem with it. However for the first birthday of yours that you’d both be spending together, he was just planning for the both of you to go to a park, something small, when Kuwabara and Keiko found out, they gave him an earful. Now, he still does “simple” dates, but he always tries to do something fun or unexpected for your anniversaries or special events 

U: Ugly (What are some bad habits of theirs? (I’m gonna add arguments here because they aren’t on the prompt list I found))

Yusuke doesn’t have bad habits as he has gross habits. Like this man will probably burp in your face at least once (on accident) and it’s kinda just up to you to deal with that. As for fights, post-end of the series, you don’t really argue about much, you and Yusuke just bicker, but hey it works for you. During the series though, your heavy fights consist of you getting upset at the way Yusuke is always so ready to sacrifice his life (he does this a looooot)

V: Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Not to be fooled, Yusuke is extremely concerned with his looks. No one who purposefully slicks their hair back with gel almost everyday from the age of 14 isn’t. He tries not to take too long, but if he can’t get the coif right, you’re going to be waiting for a long time.

W: Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

It isn’t so much as he feels incomplete without you, he just doesn’t feel worthy of being with you. He spends as much time as you’ll allow proving you didn’t waste your time on him (despite the fact that he literally doesn’t need to do that)

X: (E)xes (Any previous relationship experience. How does that factor into your current relationship?)

The closest he has to prior relationship experience is Keiko. The whole thig with Keiko was initially something of a hurdle due to the fact that they were kind of each other’s first love and they’re still friends, however, you got through it together and now Keiko is a source of advice for you, along with Kurama and Genkai.

Y: Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner)

In general, he doesn’t really like underhanded people. He sees the validity of the strategy, in the sense of outwitting an opponent larger or more powerful than you, but even then the thought of losing to someone or defeating someone in an underhanded way is disgusting to him (see the entirety of dark tournament arc to see why he hates underhandedness)

Z: Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Yusuke snores. Not all the time, but when he’s really tired, the man sounds like an old car engine. He is LOUD and if you aren’t a heavy sleeper or already asleep, good luck getting any sleep because just when you lay your head down to relax, he snores loud enough to shake the whole of your apartment complex.

#yu yu hakusho imagine #yu yu hakusho x reader #yu yu hakusho imagines #yusuke x reader #yusuke urameshi #urameshi x reader #yusuke yyh #x reader #x black reader #idontblushsrry #getting back into the feel of writing for yyh

[lucemferto]

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT PH1LZA (or Why Philza is a Victim of Narrative Circumstance)

Heyo! Per request I am posting the script to my video of the same name here on tumblr. I must warn you that just reading the script will probably not give you the full experience, so I would encourage you to watch the video (linked above).

There might also still be a lot of grammatical errors in the text, because I don’t proofread.

Intro

LAST TIME ON LUCEM FERTO

Okay, so! I don’t want this to turn into a reaction channel OR a Dream SMP channel for that matter! [echo]

Well, I lied.

[Intro to “Luc is pretentious about the funny blockmen. Episode 2”]

I swear, I’m working on other stuff. It’s just that my dumb lizard brain has only capacity for one interest at a time!

So, something you might not know about me, is that I am on tumblr – who am I kidding, most of you will know me from tumblr. Before starting this whole YouTube thing, I thought that website died years ago – but as per usual reality proves me wrong. I’m also on Twitter and Reddit, but I get the most engagement on tumblr – by far! – and I need those sweet, sweet numbers for the serotonin!

Anyways, one of my favourite past-times on tumblr is to razz Philza Hardcore Minecraft – that’s his full name – for being a frankly awful father [clicking away] – wait, wait, no! Philza fans, this isn’t a hit piece on him, I promise! Please come back!

This is video is meant to be a companion piece to my previous video about Technoblade and the Doomsday event – you can tell by the shared nomenclature – so you should probably watch that one before you proceed. Unless you don’t want to, which is also perfectly understandable.

DISCLAIMER: This video is mostly about the character Philza plays on the Dream SMP. Whenever I talk about the content creator Philza, I will say so properly. Also, Spoiler Warning for Dream SMP Season 2.

… What is that? You’re wondering what the Dream SMP is? Well, if you had just watched the other video like I told you to do, you would know, because I explained it pretty well there. But in case you don’t know, here’s the cliff notes.

Dream SMP is the hottest New Media Series on Twitch right now! It has it all: gaslighting, child soldiers, Machiavellian political intrigue, Hamilton roleplay, desecration of the dead, shounen protagonists, SO! MUCH! AMNESIA! Filicide, furries, a red egg that’s definitely homophobic and teenagers inventing nuclear warfare. And it’s all done in Minecraft – yes, the funny block game where the only way to emote is to crouch.

And you say the perfect brief doesn’t exist!

Now, you might be wondering, why do I want to talk about this? Well, it’s because Content Creator Philza is one of least controversial internet personalities that I can think of. That man exudes pure comfort. So, it’s just very, very amusing to me that his character became one of the most controversial figures on the SMP, only outshone by Tommy and Technoblade.

And it’s not just amusing, it’s also extremely interesting! I want to dig deep to uncover and discuss the dynamics behind why that is. How did it come to this point? How did a man who appears genuinely so pleasant create a character that inspires so much discourse!

Now, if you watched that Technoblade video – like I told you to twice now! – you might know, that I am the resident character analyses hater of fandom! And that impression is false and slanderous! Don’t tell other people that I hate character analyses! I love them!

It’s just that, in the Dream SMP in particular, there is an abundance of character analyses! Every streamer has at least two very good essays written about them, exploring every possible angle to view their characters and backgrounds and everything. All I’m saying is: I don’t have anything to add on that front.

So, instead I want to pursue a different approach – something, that I feel is a bit underrepresented in the fandom! And I’m not just talking narrative analysis – that’s right, this episode we’re going even more pretentious! – I’m talking Transtextual Analysis!

Now, what is Transtextuality? Well, unfortunately it has very little to do with actual Trans people – #transrights, just in case that wasn’t obvious – but instead describes a mode of analysis with which to put – to quote French literary theorist Gérard Genette – “the text in a relationship, whether obvious or concealed, with other texts”.

Basically, you know how the L’Manburg War of Independence heavily quotes and borrows from the hit musical Hamilton? That’s transtextuality! A lot of the analyses surrounding how Tommy mirrors the Greek hero Theseus, who was invoked by Technoblade multiple times in the series, are already doing transtextual analysis! So, it’s really not something that’s new to the Dream SMP fandom.

But how does this apply to Philza and how he is looked at and judged by his parental skills? Well, there are multiple forms of transtextuality, two of which we will discuss today.

But before we continue, I gotta do that annoying YouTuber thing. I know these videos don’t look like much, but I spend a really long time making them. I work fulltime and I try my best to keep up, but sometimes I can’t. So please, like, subscribe, comment to give me some algorithm juice – I really need it – and most importantly share it! Share it with your friends, share it with your family – I’m sure Grandma is very interested in what I have to say about Philza Minecraft.

And I’m trying to be better! If I sound at all different for this video, it’s because I finally bought a new pop filter, so I can hit my plosives without it sounding like there’s a thunderstorm in my room. I hope it makes a difference; it was a very cheap pop filter, so maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it sounds worse – that would be bad!

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, CHILD NEGLEGT!

 Intertextuality: Why is Dadza?

You know what’s really interesting about the Dream SMP – aside from, you know, most things about it? Very few of the characters have concrete, fleshed-out backstories – and that’s pretty weird! In no other medium or genre could you get away with something like that – at least for long-form storytelling!

So, how does Dream SMP get away with this? Well, it’s because every character on the Dream SMP is basically a self-insert – and I don’t mean that in the “This character is based on me”-kinda way, but in the “This character, for all intents and purposes, is me!”-way. This, like many things that are fascinating about the Dream SMP, is owed to the fact that this series didn’t start off as a continuous drama – it started off as a Let’s Play.

And while we can talk about how someone’s on-camera/on-mic persona is in some ways a character, it’s still miles off of being an actual, fully-realized, separate character in a storyline.

This is where Intertextuality comes in.

Intertextuality is a subset of Transtextuality. It describes how the hypertext, which is the text, you’re currently engaged with, uses another text, the hypotext, to supplement itself. The interconnection the hypertext establishes with the hypotext, through stuff like allusion for example, uh-hum [Hamilton], can colour how an audience interprets the hypertext. Basically, Hamilton and Theseus are the hypotexts; the Dream SMP is the hypertext.

So, what does this have to do with backstory? Simple: The backstories of the characters in the Dream SMP consist basically of nothing but intertextual references. Through intertextuality their content effectively substitutes their character’s backstory.

You can see it everywhere. Wilbur’s and Schlatt’s relationship and rivalry is hugely enriched, if you are aware of their shared history like SMPLive, for example – I think anyway. I haven’t watched SMPLive, because … there’s only so many hours in the day and I cannot keep up with the Dream SMP and catch up on SMPLive and live a healthy life – which I already don’t do, so…

BadBoyHalo’s and Skeppy’s relationship, which has become the crux of the Crimson-Storyline of Seasons 2 and 3, is hugely supplemented if you know that they’re also very close as streamers and in real life.

Another great example of intertextuality is basically Technoblade’s entire deal. If you just look at him completely within the text of the Dream SMP and try to transplant his entrance to any other medium: It would be extremely weird! Like, he’s just this guy that comes in in the middle of a very climatic arc, no build-up, no explanation what his deal is, and he’s treated like he has always been there. In any other medium that just wouldn’t work – at least not without a flashback or some sort of exposition!

But because of stuff like Minecraft Mondays, the Potato Wars, his Duel against Dream and SMPEarth, we understand that he is a Big Deal!

Anyways, to bring all of this back to Philza Minecraft: What kind of hypotext informs how the audience sees his character? Well, this is where I will have to talk about SBI.

SBI is an acronym that stand for State Bank of India, the 43rd largest bank in the world and…

It also stands for Sleepy Bois Incorporated. Sleepy Bois Incorporated is a loose assembly of content creators, consisting of Philza, Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit and Technoblade. It is most well-known for its very endearing family dynamic – a dynamic that is frequently acknowledged and played up by the creators involved. Tommy is the youngest brother, Wilbur and Techno are the two older brothers and Philza is of course the dad. And when I say, it’s played up, I really mean it! Wilbur seems to be especially enamoured with the idea and leaves no opportunity untaken to bring it up – which we will come back to.

And I’m not saying that they’re faking this and this is somehow an act. While I know none of these people personally, it appears to me, that this is genuinely how they interact – if a little exaggerated for the streaming experience. Even when they’re not consciously playing into the family dynamic, their interactions still very much lend themselves to that interpretation by the viewers.

Philza especially just radiates Dad-Friend energy – so much so that it has become a huge part of his brand identity – yay, I can bring that back (check out my Christmas video if you want to hear me ramble about that). The nickname Dadza stuck even before SBI was a thing.

So, even if we completely disregard SBI – which we shouldn’t for reasons I’ll get back to – Philza has cultivated an image of strong paternal guidance. He is, in my opinion completely deservedly, regarded very positively. He is highly respected and in turn seen as a voice of reason.

All of this would eventually inform the hypotext of the character Philza within Dream SMP.

 Interlude: Before Dadza & November 16th

Okay, so now we have established that a) Dream SMP heavily hinges on intertextual readings by the audience to supplement character backstory and b) that Philza’s entire deal is that he’s the dad-friend – more specifically that he’s the dad of SBI (not the bank). I think you know where this is going.

So, yeah, ever since it was on the table that Philza could join the Dream SMP, it was immediately assumed that he would take on the paternal guardian role all these traumatized people on that server so desperately needed – and with good reason! Like I said before, the audience at this point was trained to take intertextual interpretations as basically canon or at the very least canon-adjacent.

I want to emphasize that this is most likely not done deliberately. I’m sure content creators Wilbur and Philza didn’t sit there and said: “Yes! We will rely entirely on the audience’s inclination to interpret our characters intertextually to define character Philza!”. Like, obviously that did not happen.

But it’s also important to remember that unlike with traditional media and the fanbases cultivated there, the separation between the Dream SMP and its audience is almost non-existent – and purposely so. The story events are streamed live, Chats are acknowledged in canon and even outside of livestreams creators are extremely involved with the fandom. So, the weight of fan-expectations is equally amplified and will more likely be incorporated into the writing process. Case in point:

[Wilbur “I miss Philza”/Philza about Wilbur]

During Wilbur’s villain arc, even before his official involvement, Philza became a prevalent point of discussion. The hope that he would be the one to snap Wilbur out of his downward spiral was not only wish-fulfilment on behalf of the fans; it also very much played off of the intertextual reading of the SBI-dynamic in relation to the Dream SMP.

Of course, this still doesn’t make Philza and Wilbur canonically blood-related – but it definitely used the “paternal”-dynamic of SBI to build-up tension and drama.

And that ultimately brings us to November 16th. The Grand Finale of Season 1 and Philza’s first canonical appearance on the SMP.

Now, for this I want to pull back from the transtextual analysis and talk about simply narrative analysis: What is Philza’s narrative purpose on November 16th?

Philza serves as the last threshold on Wilbur’s Villain’s Journey – to appropriate Vogler’s version of the monomyth for a minute here – he is what Vogler calls the “Threshold Guardian”. He is the last enemy the Hero faces before completing his quest – in this particular case Wilbur’s quest is to blow up L’Manberg. Multiple people have at this point tried to dissuade him from this course of action: Tommy, Quackity, Niki and others. So how come this Philza moment is not redundant in terms of dynamics compared to these prior scenes?

Well, it’s through our intertextual understanding of Wilbur’s and Phil’s relationship. Because Philza does not just occupy the role of the Threshold Guardian – he is also implicitly the Mentor. Before Phil there was no character in the storyline that held a higher position of moral authority than Wilbur – Dream and Schlatt, while at points more powerful in terms of actual authority, were never positioned by the narrative as Wilbur’s superiors in the same way as Wilbur was to Tommy, Tubbo or even Niki.

Before November 16th all challenges Wilbur faced were from people narratively subordinated to him. But that trend is broken with Phil. That is why he is the Threshold Guardian, why this confrontation is at the climax of Wilbur’s arc. Because Phil is the last thing tethering Wilbur to whatever morality he held before his villain arc; Phil is the last, moral obstacle Wilbur has to discard before gaining his reward.

And, just a quick sidenote, because I’ve seen it around the fandom a bunch: When I’m referring to Wilbur denouncing his morality, I’m using that in terms of narrative analysis. I’m mentioning it, because Wilbur’s character can very easily be read as mentally ill or neurodivergent and some people have – rightly! – pointed out that the excessive vilifying when talking about his character is … problematic, to say the least.

So, I just want to make clear, this isn’t a character analysis, I’m being purposely broad when talking about Wilbur and Phil.

In the end, Wilbur takes that final step and gets his “reward”: As his final request his mentor takes his life and vanquishes the evil – the dragon of Wilbur’s story slays the dragon of L’Manburg. It’s very Shakespearean in its tragedy – but beyond the larger theatrics it’s not really used to further characterize Phil – at least in the context of Season 1. There’s not a lot of focus on his characters internal conflict during November 16th.

Phil, like Techno, is very utilitarian in how content creator Wilbur writes him: He serves as a moment of hype; an obstacle Wilbur has to face; a participant in the tragic climax of Wilbur’s character and ultimately takes on his implicit and expected role of mentor and guiding figure to the rest of L’Manburg.

I think not a lot of people talk about how Philza does not join Technoblade during November 16th. He takes the side of L’Manburg – he fights against the withers and he joins Tommy, Tubbo and the others at the L’Mantree, thus framing him as loyal to the L’Manburg administration – even though Season 2 would make his loyalty to Techno central to his character. But more on that later.

What’s also important about November 16th is that this is the day when the general intertextual interpretation became canonized text.

[You’re my son!]

Wilbur is made Phil’s canonical, biological son. The intertextual interpretation of SBI as it pertains to these two characters on the SMP was completely reinforced by the narrative. Or to put it in Fandom terms: The headcanon became actual canon. At least when it came to Wilbur … but what about Philza’s “other” children?

Well, that leads to our second form of transtextual analysis:

 Paratextuality: Is Dadza?

These titles are just getting better and better.

The Paratext is defined as all those things in a published work that accompany the text. It comes in two forms: One of them is the Peritext, which are non-diegetic elements directly surrounding the text – like chapter titles, author’s notes, and stuff like that. Translated to the medium of the Dream SMP, it would be stuff like this:

[Examples]

And, trust me, I could make a whole separate video about how people on the SMP use their peritext as a tool for storytelling – I’m looking at you, Ranboo – but that’s not what we will talk about in the context of Dadza.

Instead, we will focus on the second form of Paratext, the Epitext, which consists of all authorial and editorial discussions taking place outside of the text. That’s stuff like interviews, private letters or J. K. Rowling’s Twitter Account – you know, before she decided to become a full-time asshole.

[Wilbur: Transrights]

After Season 1 ended, Wilbur indulged pretty heavily in providing epitext for the Dream SMP, something he had not done prior to November 16th. His paratextual additions ranged from the playful, like assigning DnD alignments to various SMP members, to the extremely impactful, like the whole three lives system!

You probably think, you know where this is going. Wilbur provided some epitext about how Tommy and Techno either are or are not biologically related to him … and I have to be honest I thought that too. But then I began looking into the impenetrable web that is the SBI-canon on the Dream SMP and found this!

[Ghostbur explains family]

So, it wasn’t paratext, it was just straight text. Said in character, in canon, without any implication that we the viewers should question this. The text of the SBI family dynamic was explicitly linked to Dream SMP-exclusive lore, namely Fundy being Wilbur’s and Sally the Salmon’s son. This is as clear as Philza’s anguished declaration on November 16th in establishing the intertext as text. And because Wilbur also had a very heavy hand in the discussion of paratext around that time, it gave his character’s words even more “canonical” weight. Metatextually speaking, this very much read like the author giving exposition through his character – exposition that we should understand as reliable.

And, by the way, before I continue, I need to give a huge, huge shoutout to kateis-cakeis on tumblr, I hope I pronounced that right, who was just so quick in providing me with these crucial clips. Without him I would have looked for days because these people don’t archive their shit! And the Dream SMP Wiki was NO help, by the way! I love what you guys do, but stuff like this belongs in the Trivia section on characters’ pages!

Anyways, basically during the entirety of early Season 2 the SBI family dynamic was basically canon to the SMP. Sometimes it was only alluded implicitly, again letting the intertext fill out the rest.

[Philza clips]

But just as often it was just explicitly talked about – both in the text and in the paratext.

[Fundy clip/Wilbur “Twins” clip/Tommy clip]

So, I know what you’re thinking: “Why is this part called paratext, if the entire family tree is just textual”. Well, that last clip might give you a hint, as to what I will talk about. Notice how Tommy, one of the people most directly impacted by the canonization of SBI lore, is both unaware of and seems generally unenthused about it, to put it nicely? Well, that would soon turn out to be a much bigger deal than anyone could have imagined as he wasn’t the only one.

[Technoblade decanonizes SBI]

Yeah …

This happened on 20th of December. Regular viewers of this channel will remember that I put out a 90-second joke video, where I complain about this very development. And while I was mostly kidding around, the core idea is still true. The paratext provided by Technoblade and established text were in direct contradiction with one another – and that brought a lot of confusion into the fandom. Confusion, that would soon be followed by frustration.

Because Techno only decanonized himself as part of the SBI family dynamic – but what about Tommy and Tubbo, the latter of which was incorporated into the dynamic exclusively within the lore of the Dream SMP. Was this still canon or wasn’t it?

What followed was a muddled mess of contradictions, intertextual implications, text and paratext in conflict with each another. It was for the most part inscrutable to figure out how Tommy and Philza related to one another. I’ll spare you every comment made about this – mostly because I want to spare myself from looking for all of them.

In the end, the current status is that their familial relationship is … unclear. Philza said, again in paratext, that it’s ultimately up to the writers to decide, whether or not Tommy is his son … which, I personally think he and Tommy should be the ones to establish that, but I’ll come back to that later.

But why is all of this important anyway? Why would this ambiguity create such an uproar, such controversy – especially when it comes to Tommy’s character? What makes Tommy’s and Philza’s relationship such a target for discussion in the fandom?

Well … this is where we will have to talk about the storyline of Season 2.

Interlude II: Tommy’s Exile and Dadza in Season 2

Okay, Season 2. This is where the spoilers are, so I will just sneakily drop this again. It took me five seconds to google this gif and I will milk it for every penny it’s worth!

At the beginning of Season 2, Philza’s narrative role has not changed much from where Season 1 ended. He is in L’Manburg dispensing earthly wisdom, being a paternal figure to Fundy, Ghostbur and Tubbo, helping with the nation’s rebuilding efforts; just generally occupying the role of the mentor.

[clips]

And then came … the Exile. The Exile Arc took place between December 3rd and December 15th during Season 2 of the Dream SMP. It revolves around TommyInnit getting exiled from L’Manburg and slowly getting psychologically tortured and broken down by Dream. It’s a really great arc, at least in my opinion, that explores and deepens a lot of Tommy’s character relationships, whether that be Tommy and Dream, Tommy and Tubbo or Tommy and Ranboo. One relationship, however, is noticeably missing.

So, yeah, Philza spends basically the entirety of the exile doing pretty much nothing of consequence. And that’s not a problem specific to him – One big criticism I would levy against the Exile Arc is that a lot of characters are left spinning their wheels. Which is why we get zany stuff like El Rapids, Drywaters, Eret’s Knights of the Roundtable, Boomerville – anyone remember Boomerville, that was a thing for 5 seconds, wasn’t it? – basically a lot of storylines are started and then unceremoniously dropped. Now, I will talk more about this, when I make a video about Season 2 of the Dream SMP … in ten years, look forward to it.

In the case of Philza, this inaction was especially damning, because at this point it was still a considered canon that he was Tommy’s dad. So, the fans were left with a situation, where just a few weeks prior Philza was occupying a paternal role for Fundy and Ghostbur … but now, that his youngest son was in a very concerning predicament – to put it lightly – he was nowhere to be found.

So why is that?

Well, the most obvious answer is that Dream and Tommy didn’t write him into the storyline. We’ve seen that Tommy wasn’t particularly interested in exploring a familial relationship to Philza, at least at the time. And it would just not fit in with what Dream and Tommy tried to do with the Exile Arc: they wanted to tell the story of Tommy being isolated, completely under Dream’s mercy, slowly worn down and manipulated. If Philza had been constant presence for Tommy during that time, it would have definitely shifted the narrative focus. That doesn’t mean that they couldn’t have done that, it’s just a matter of fact that they didn’t.

This also reveals another truth about content creator Philza’s character work, that I think is extremely crucial: He takes what the writers give him. Outside of a few choice moments, he doesn’t seem particularly interested in expanding or even solidifying his character on the SMP.

What I’m saying is that he is very go-with-the-flow: Wilbur wants to enact a Shakespearean tragedy? Philza’s up for it. Fundy wants him as a parental figure and mentor? Philza’s here for him. Tommy, conversely, doesn’t want him as a paternal presence, even though it would make sense for Philza’s character, as it was established so far, to be there? Philza will oblige.

The reason I’m mentioning this is because, while Tommy and Dream were unwilling to utilise Philza in their storyline, someone else was more than happy to. Which leads us back, like it always does, to everyone’s favourite Porky Pig-kinnie in a crown: Technoblade.

Technoblade and Philza, from everything I’ve seen of them, seem to be very good friends – and they share a lot of history even outside SBI. So, it’s commendable that they would collaborate on a storyline together.

A consequence of that, however, is that Philza’s narrative purpose shifts completely with very little transition. His entire character changes from being the Mentor-figure of L’Manberg to being pretty much exclusively defined as Technoblade’s ally; his man on the inside. It is a very sharp turn from the end of Season 1. Their relationship is once again informed via intertext – this time the Antarctic Empire on SMPEarth serves as the hypotext – but there isn’t a huge effort made to smoothly integrate that aspect of Philza’s character into the larger narrative framing around him.

How much the narrative utilisation of Philza has shifted can be very easily observed through the Butcher Army event on December 16th, a story event that I like less and less the more I think about. Here Philza is used to show just how corrupt and violent Tubbo’s administration has becomes. He is no longer the respected mentor, he is now the stand-in for the oppressed populace, similar to Niki’s role in Season 1. On a narrative level, he is here to prove a point.

If you’ve seen my Technoblade video, you know how I feel about … just that entire storyline, so I will not reiterate too much on it. I just want to make clear that I’m not principally against this development – if they wanted to truly explore Tubbo going down a dark path and getting corrupted by power, so much so that he would even treat the person who effectively raised him like a prisoner, I would be extremely here for it, I cannot stress that enough.

The problem I have is that it’s just so sloppily done. It is not coherent with how these characters behaved and, more importantly, how they were narratively framed prior to the Butcher Army event. Fundy gets one token line about Phil being his Grandfather – a far cry from the very emotionally complex relationship they had established at the beginning of Season 2 – and Phil then callously disowns him.

The major problem simply is that we don’t see how Philza changes from Mentor-figure to embittered, oppressed citizen. And there was enough time to build to that. During the entirety of Tommy’s exile Tubbo was pretty much spinning his wheels and Quackity and Fundy were opening up plot cul-de-sacs that didn’t end up going anywhere. This is time they could have spent on developing their relationship to Philza and the dark path they were going down – but again, Season 2 video.

There is not much to say on Philza’s narrative purpose and framing beyond the Butcher Army event. He remains pretty much exclusively Techno’s consigliere with his role as Mentor to L’Manburg a distant memory. He has some cute character moments with Ranboo, because content creator Philza is just big dad-energy whether he wants to or not, and whenever he and Ghostbur share a scene suddenly the narrative remembers that there are people other than Technoblade that should exist in Philza’s inner world. But aside from that, Philza’s storyline in Season 2 remains … pretty definitive is the nicest way I can put it.

Most importantly his relationship with Tommy continues to be completely unexplored – whether by chance or choice – and that combined with ever vaguer paratext leaves “Dadza” in a very peculiar situation.

 Conclusion: Is Dadza a Good Dadza?

So, the question to end all questions. The big, obnoxious text, that I will probably have put in the thumbnail – I haven’t made it yet, but I know myself. The honest answer is: I couldn’t tell you.

I have, in the past, been expounding the virtues of narrative analysis. That is because I feel that Narrative Analysis and Textual Analysis, like in this video, can provide certain tools that Character Analysis lacks. Often times I see people trying to get at a writing problem or query and getting frustrated because they’re not using the toolset, they need to figure out what they want to figure out.

But I’d be a hypocrite if I pretended like everything could be solved through the modes of analysis I prefer. And I think the Dadza-issue is exactly such a case.

I set out to explore why the Philza-Tommy-“Dadza”-relationship has become so controversial. It’s a combination of expectations build up through intertextual readings, that were partly canonized – something that is very common for the Dream SMP – conflicting pieces of paratext, which only serve to muddle the issue further and a text that is not only completely uninterested in actually exploring Tommy’s and Philza’s relationship – as it stands right now they might as well be strangers, narratively speaking – but also completely changes Philza’s narrative purpose as it relates to characters like Fundy or Tubbo about half-way through with little to no transition.

That is why I say, that Philza’s character is a victim of narrative circumstance. Because unwittingly, through all of these factors and decisions, there is not coherent reading of Philza that frames his parental skills in a particularly kind light.

The question of how we can judge Phil as a paternal figure ultimately falls within the purview of the character analysis – and that’s a very multifaceted issue, highly dependent on which POV you focus on and how you interpret the other characters in that POV’s periphery.

To put my cards on the table, I think that Philza is a very flawed father/father-figure – and I find that absolutely okay. Flaws are the spice of character building. He is not Cinderella’s Evil Stepmother – but he’s also definitely not Mufasa. If we were to read Philza as a paternal figure, then he would have made a lot of mistakes and decisions to the detriment of his “children” – least of all everything that happened on Doomsday.

But I also have sympathies for Philza fans who are tired of the Dad-Debate and would like to have his character judged independent from his relationship to Ghostbur, Fundy, Tubbo and Tommy.

Ultimately, to bring it all to a point, I’d like to end with saying, that I think that Philza, out of all the characters on the SMP, has the potential to be on of the most intriguing, multifaceted ones. There are all of these different patches of story, character moments and narrative and transtextual implications, that, if brought together, could create a beautiful tapestry of the character Philza.

You have his relationship with Techno, which holds the potential for so much emotional conflict and vulnerabilities, you have his time as mentor of L’Manburg, which is just criminally underused; the complex relationship between him and Ghostbur/Wilbur; and – for me, personally – most intriguingly this weird, almost uncomfortably distant non-relationship with Tommy. That last one is intriguing to me, because it contrasts just so much with our intertextual understanding of the characters and streaming personas – and it just holds the potential for so much conflict, so much drama, so much angst. Which I live for!

And, yes, I do believe that most of this is narrative happenstance, that this was largely not intended by Philza or really any of the writers. It’s just what happens when hybrid-roleplay-improv a long-running, livestreamed storyline in Minecraft.

But I want them to realize the potential they have on their hands, because it could – with barely any adjustments – turn Philza from a victim of narrative circumstance to a champion of it!

 Outro

Thank you so much for watching this video. Usually, I don’t record outros this standard, but after this beast of a video I felt it necessary. I hope that whether you’re a Philza fan or a Philza critical or just completely uninvolved in the whole thing, there is at least a little entertainment you could get from this.

I want to take this opportunity to say that my next few videos will probably not be Dream SMP related – a sentence which undoubtedly lost me a bunch of subs – simply because I don’t want to burn out on it. I genuinely enjoy watching the SMP and being exhausted by it would be something I wouldn’t want to force on myself.

But who knows what will happen? The Karl Jacobs video was something I did spur of the moment because the idea just came to me – so I can’t guarantee that the next video won’t be a three-minute joke about Purpled or whatever.

Anyway, my concrete plans for future Dream SMP videos are essays on Season 1 and Season 2 as well as one for Tales from the SMP.

Before that I have a longer video in the works, which I’ve already teased a bunch, so I hope it will finally be finished sometime. And I also may be working on something … eboys-related? Maybe. I’m not making any promises!

#dream smp #dsmp #dsmpblr #dreamsmp #dsmp analysis #dream smp analysis #ph1lza #philza #dsmp philza #dsmp ph1lza #dsmp phil #antarctic anarchists #the syndicate #dsmp syndicate #technoblade #dsmp technoblade #dsmp techno #wilbur soot #dsmp wilbur #dsmp wilbur soot #tommyinnit #dsmp tommyinnit #dsmp tommy #tubbo #dsmp tubbo #fundy #dsmp fundy #dream smp season 2 #lucem ferto scripts

[kikyan]

~Pop goes [Y/n]~

Yandere! Laughing Jack x Female!Reader

“ Hey [Y/N]?” 

“ Yes, dear old brother of mine?” 

“ I finally made a friend. . .” 

“ Oh? What does this friend look like? What’s his name?” 

“ Well his name is Laughing Jack and he is a clown!” 

“ Oh, a clown? I love clowns!! When can I meet him!” 

“ He’s my friend [Y/N]. . .” 

[Y/N] little brother whined as he looked at his sister hanging upside down from the tree in their backyard. [Y/N] wasn’t like most girls, while most girls would ignore their brother, younger or older [Y/N] didn’t. She absolutely adored her younger brother Zach. 

“ I’m not trying to take away your friend silly!! I just want to meet him!! How does he look?” 

“ Well. . . he is super tall and is black and white all over. Plus he-” 

“ Wait. He is black and white?” 

“ Yes, dummy if you listened-” 

“ Why isn’t he colorful like the rest of the clowns we’ve seen?” 

“ I don’t know but I can ask him!” 

“ Please do because I am curious! Can’t keep me in suspense now can you?” 

Jumping down from the tree [Y/N] fixed her clothing which consisted of jeans and a hoodie, complementing the cold temperatures plaguing her small town. Fixing her hair so it wasn’t in the way, [Y/N] ran to engulf Zach in a hug as she twirled him around laughing, causing Zach to smile and laugh as well. 

“ You know I love you right Zach!” 

“ Of course! You tell me that everyday sister!” 

“ Well, I don’t want you to forget okay! Now let’s go back inside because I am freezing out here and I know that we are both craving some food right about now.” 

“ Okay [Y/N]! Also, Jack told me that he doesn’t have color because he isn’t like most clowns!” 

“ Well, that’s interesting, we don’t attack creativity or originality so that’s good!” 

~~ 

“ YOU’RE LEAVING US!” 

“ I CAN’T STAND IT HERE WITH YOU ANYMORE!” 

“ OH SO FUCK YOUR WIFE AND KIDS HUH? YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO GET A JOB RIGHT? NOW YOU’RE LEAVING ME AND THE KIDS FOR THAT WHORE!” 

“ DON’T INSULT HER LIKE THAT! IT’S NOT MY FAULT I FOUND THE RIGHT ONE A LITTLE LATER THAN USUAL! BESIDES, IT SEEMS YOU HAVE ENOUGH PEOPLE TO SUSTAIN YOU!” 

“ WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?” 

“ MAYBE IF YOU STOPPED WHORING AROUND MAYBE WE WOULDN’T BE HERE!” 

“ AND THE KIDS?” 

“ YOU BIRTHED THEM NOT ME! YOUR PROBLEM NOT MINE!” 

As the screaming raged on [Y/N] Zach close by as he was sobbing in the hug. Asking his big sister why their parents were arguing and why they were screaming, most importantly why they were hiding but [Y/N] only smiled as she laughed and placed a kiss on Zach’s forehead. 

“ It’s okay Zach! Remember the song I taught you, “ Half a pound of tuppenny rice, Half a pound of treacle, That's the way the money goes, Pop goes the weasel!” 

Zach nodded before singing as soft gasps came out as he tried to calm his breathing and stop his crying as he sang with [Y/N]. Soon after the screams ended  [Y/N] smiled as Zach fell asleep with his cheeks all puffy and slightly red. Kissing his forehead slightly, [Y/N] whispered as she promised Zach a promise that she has yet to break. 

“ I’ll protect you Zach, I swear it. Nothing and  no one will harm you for as long as I live.” 

The next day [Y/N] woke up with Zach’s hand holding her own as she guided him down the stairs after brushing their teeth in the morning. [Y/N] smiled as she and Zach both jumped down from the second step to the floor, giggling a bit as they skipped over to the kitchen. To their surprise, their mother was already up and running cursing small curses as she tried to make breakfast for her kids. 

“ You kids are awake! Great I have an interview at 9 and it’s 8:45! [Y/N], you can finish the rest of the breakfast right? Remember chores first and games later okay! See you soon!” 

Their mother ran as she hurriedly put on her heels and grabbed her purse, exiting the house soon enough. [Y/N] stood holding the spoon that was used to mix the contents of a pot wondering what the hell she was supposed to do. 

“ Um. . . Zach, sit at the table and I’ll make us breakfast okay!” 

“ Okay [Y/N].” 

[Y/N] grabbed a chair and climbed it to peek at the contents, it was just oatmeal but it couldn’t be that hard to make, could it? She simply got the container and read the directions making sure to follow it correctly. After making the food [Y/N] served it and handed a plate to Zach and placed hers next to him. 

“  [Y/N] I’m thirsty.” 

“ I think we have some spare orange juice, I’ll see if I can find it.” 

Going to the fridge [Y/N] opened it and found a small bottle of orange juice that was filled enough for both of them to drink from. As she made it back she served her brother a cup of juice which he drank rapidly. [Y/N] only smiled as she picked up her own spoon only for Zach to say, “ [Y/N] my food is hot. Can you blow on it?” 

Sighing a bit she laughed and picked up the spoon blowing on it slightly to cool down the oatmeal and decided to play around with it. 

“ Zach! Here comes the airplane!” 

Making childish sound, ‘vrooom’, ‘ Zooom’ she spoonfed Zach the oatmeal she prepared, it seemed like the disaster that occurred yesterday was being drowned out of the laughter of Zach as he enjoyed playing with his older sister. 

~~ 

“ [Y/N] I’m hungry.” 

“ Hold on Zach if we could rush cooking trust me I would, I am starving.” 

“ Jack gave me some candy that I could have.” 

“ And he didn’t give me some? I am offended.” 

“ Because you are a girl [Y/N]” 

“ That does not make sense but okay I guess, treasure your candy and I’ll treasure our dinner.” 

“ Wait, I want to eat dinner too!” 

“ You already have candy Zach, you can’t have dinner if you have candy!” 

“ O-okay! I’ll put it away!” 

“ I’m just playing Zach but if you have candy before dinner it will give you a tummy ache, and you won’t enjoy candy if you do that.” 

“ Hmm... Okay [Y/N]” 

Mixing around the chicken noodle soup [Y/N] pondered and thought where her brother got the candy from. He said Jack gave it to him, but Jack wasn’t real was he? Unless. . .

“ Hey Zach, question what kind of Candy did Jack give you?” 

“ Hm. . . not sure all I know is that they are colorful though. I would share but Jack doesn’t want you to have any.” 

“ Hmph! Fine! That’s fine, I guess I won’t share my soup with him either! His loss. . .” 

At the sound of this sarcastic remark, Zach jumped up to say, “ H-he says that he can’t give you candy because you aren’t special but your soup looks tasty!” 

“ Oh? Well, thanks for the compliment Jack but it’s a shame that I’m not special enough for candy. If there is extra feel free to take some soup I guess.” 

[Y/N] began to serve dinner with a pondering thought. ‘That candy came from nowhere so it’s only safe to assume that Zach is lying or Jack is real, what did he mean by special? There isn’t much difference between me and Zach aside from age, I would say the both of us have vivid imaginations and similar personality. Wait! Could it be age? I’m gonna have to keep Zach close by... .until I get to the bottom of what’s happening.’ 

[ Y/N only stared at Zach eat the soup with a smile on his face, Zach was the only reason [Y/N] could even smile in this world. 

~ 

“ Brush your teeth?” 

“ Yes.”

“ Wash your face?” 

“ Yes.” 

“ Ready for bed?” 

“ Yes- WAIT! NO! THAT’S NOT FAIR!” 

“ Keep it down Zach! Before the neighbors come after my as- I mean come complain!” 

“ Were you about to say a naughty word?” 

“ Yes, but I didn’t. Anyway’s we are having a sibling sleepover because mom isn’t coming home till late so.” 

“ Yay! Does that mean I get to cuddle next to that bear dad got you?” 

“ Yes, yes it does. Now onward child to my room!” 

“ Yay! Wait, Jack is asking why I can’t sleep by myself.” 

“ Well, Yah see Jack, Zach and I have sibling sleepovers that not even mom can stop so, it’s a tradition and I will be shook if it ends now!”  

“ What does that mean?” 

“ It’s best if thy don’t know!” 

“ Hmph! Rude.” 

“ I-, okay well someone ain’t getting cuddles!” 

“ Aww C’mon!” 

“ Well hurry to bed.” 

“ Okay, wait,  Jack where are you going?” 

“ Is Jack leaving or something?” 

“ He said he is going to walk around the house.” 

“ Huh, okay just make sure to watch out for some steps.” el

Suddenly, sleep overcame everyone as Zach cuddled into [Y/N] as [Y/N] only stared in horror as she saw the silhouette of another being, assuming they are only staring at them. It was a tall-skinned being with shaggy hair. [Y/N] could not see who or what it was but she tried to steady her breathing and make it seem like  she was already sleeping. 

Suddenly the being began to move and [Y/N] closed her eyes and clutched onto Zach tighter afraid that this being would harm Zach. The being shifted and officially left the room and began going down the stairs only to briefly pause, before stepping over a step and continuing his way down. 

‘ He knew about the step, he knew the stairs had strange steps! Either he was here for some time inside the house already or he is Jack!’ 

[Y/N] stayed awake for some time before succumbing into a deep sleep, not before staring into the eyes of a tall-skinned monochrome man resembling that of a clown. 

~~ 

“ Hey Mom, I’m sorry to bug you but will you be gone all week, at night that is?” 

“ Yes, but why do you wanna know that sweetie?” 

“ Well, let’s just say that Zach really misses you and stuff.” 

“ Zach has you right?” 

“ Well yeah but having a mother seems better, I’m not saying I don’t like taking care of Zach but it’s just that maybe it would be safer if you got here earlier. What in case someone breaks in or something?” 

“ This is a good neighborhood so I doubt that, besides you have the next door neighbors in case of anything so don’t worry. On top of that, why do you ask now? What happened all of the sudden?” 

“ Nevermind mom, I get it, you have to work and I’ll just try my hardest okay! Have a safe day today mom!” 

“ Okay sweetie, remember get Zach to school and you too okay! Bye! Call me or the neighbors if you need something!” 

As [Y/N]’s mom left for work once again in the morning, [Y/N] pondered on the thought that again, like always nothing changed. 

~~ 

“ You have your lunch right?” 

“ Yes!!” 

“ Okay good boy Zach! Now off we go to school, I’ll pick you up after my school okay?” 

“ Okay! Does that mean we can play later after school?” 

“ Of course silly!” 

“ Hey don’t call me that [Y/N]!” 

“ Okay, if you say so, but also if you get good grades! Don’t forget to be nice to ‘ Everyone. . .’.” 

“ But I am!” 

“ Okay but why did you fight with that kid named Tommy?” 

“ He said that the boys had to take care of the girls and that I was a baby because you still took care of me!” 

“ Zach. Let me say something.” 

[Y/N] crouched down to meet her brothers height as she began to speak. 

“ Zach, mom is a girl and she takes care of the both of us! Does that make us babies?” 

“ W-well n-no” 

“ I am your older sister so I have to take care of the younger people! Does that make you a baby?” 

“ No. . .” 

“ You’re not a baby Zach. . . in fact I think you’re a strong boy! Who saved me from the pirates? Who saved me defeat the giant in the backyard?” 

“ I did!” 

“ Exactly, now would a baby be able to do that?” 

“ You’re right [Y/N]! Thanks. . . you really are the best sister in the whole world!!” 

“ I know I am! Now get to school before we both get in trouble-” 

Zach began to run across the field to get to his class as [Y/N] ran to get to her class before her teacher called roll. Upon entering her classroom she was met with her teacher calling roll, luckily, [Y/N] name hadn't been called and she quickly sat down. 

“ I feel so bad for her. . .she was telling me how much she liked that kitty she got. On top of that all those spooky things going around her house.” 

Feeling intrigued, [Y/N] asked about the so called ‘spooky’ things occuring. 

“ Well, Sarah. You know Sarah right? Well, anyways her cat was found last night hanging from the tree, cut open and was spilling some form of candy. It was so gross and Sarah was crying and crying. Her little sister was horrified but Sarah said that all these weird things happened ever since her little sister got a new friend.” 

“ A new friend?” 

“ Yeah, Sarah thinks it was an imaginary friend at first but then her little sister started appearing with treats and whatnot, just something that an imaginary friend wouldn’t do, but she just assumed that her friend was some neighbors kid or a homeless. Anyway, that’s all I know.” 

“ O-o-oh, well if you have Sarah’s number let her know that she has my condolences.” 

“ Of course! Oh wait! [Y/N] don’t you have a little brother?” 

“ Yes I do.” 

“ Has anything strange has been happening so far?” 

“ Well not really we both have a vivid imagination so it shouldn’t be much.” 

“ I see. . . take care of him okay? If it is someone, make sure to keep him safe. There are a lot of strange closeted freaks around here.” 

“ O-oh. . . yea of course! Nothing is going to happen, over my dead body!” 

After class was done, [Y/N] took out her phone and began to search for anything occurring matching those descriptions. 

‘ What would make a good search that might get me something other than clown giving candy’ 

[ Y/N] laughed at her search idea but dismissed it as she remembered that this was important and began to continue searching. 

‘ Hmmm. . . animals dead cut open spilling candy?’ 

“ that might work” 

Once hitting the go button she was met with grotesque images but nothing of the sort. Sighing she tried maybe searching for a more personal thing. 

‘ Black and White imaginary clown’ 

Some lazy articles were present but one that caught her eye was, “ WOMAN CLAIMS HER SON WAS MUR. . . .” 

Without thinking, [Y/N] clicked on the link and was sent to an article talking about a woman who claimed her son was murdered by a monochrome clown. It talked about how the mother had a son named James who told her he had an imaginary friend. However later that day she had a nightmare, of other children in a fair playground. Her son was given candy by his friend but she thought he was lying. Later that day the dog was murdered, cut with candy spilling out. She ran and alerted the neighbors, the cops telling her that it was a robbery, but she swore that everything was locked. The next day she kept her son in, setting a baby monitor to listen for anything strange, but suddenly she claimed her son was killed and nailed onto the wall. She tried to kill the clown except she stabbed her son on accident. She is now in a criminally insane institute and someone keeps playing, “ Pop Goes The Weasel,” outside her room. 

“ Well damn, this clown is one fucked up clown.” 

[Y/N] put her phone away and began to think. The mother found out and after 3 days her son died. This is strange, if this follows a pattern, this is the second day and something should be dead spilling candy late at night. We don’t have an animal so I don’t think that’s gonna happen, but if he improvises, well damn. She checked her phone and link again to find out the clowns name, “ Laughing Jack.” 

‘ Shit. . . it’s the same name as Zach’s friend. . .no doubt about it. This is the same clown we both are dealing with. I swear. . . Zach will not die by his hand!’ 

~~ 

“ I’m sorry [Y/N], but he called you a naughty word and I got mad.” 

[ Y/N] tried to hold back her laughter when she went to pick up her brother that day. According to the teacher, Zach and Tommy got into a fight because Tommy called out a bitch and you just had to laugh. Yet, it was a cute sight to see your brother defend you. Zach kicked Tommy in a certain place, normally Zach would be in trouble but other kids heard what Tommy said so it outweighed the crime. 

“ It’s okay Zach, you tried to help me and that’s all that matters. By the way, did you really kick him there?” 

“ Yes, I know you told me never to hit there but I had too!” 

“ just between us, good job!” 

“ Thank you [Y/N].” 

Walking down until they reached their house, [Y/N] told Zach to put away his things before coming downstairs for lunch. As [Y/N] was preparing a meal she began to think of Jack. If Sarah’s sister happened to have the same friend that would explain where Jack was always leaving to. It all started to make sense, but if her cat died yesterday that would mean that Jack would. . . no he wouldn’t. He would need also need to kill an animal and give it to us, but what if he works differently and there is no pattern? I mean she was the only witness I remember even being on the web. 

“ [Y/N]! What are we eating?” 

‘ I mustn’t think like that, Sarah will be safe, her sister will be safe. Everything will be fine. . .’ 

“ Anything you want Zach. . .” 

~~ 

Setting in a nice room and sleeping, what could go wrong. A loud clunk was heard, waking the siblings with a jolt. This scared Zach, but for [Y/N] she was both scared and glad. If It was jack then luckily Sarah’s sister was safe, but if it wasn’t Jack that would mean that it was a robber and that Jack was going after Sarah’s sister. 

“ [Y/N]. . . what was that? I-is m-m-mom back?” 

“ Stay here Zach!” 

[Y/N] was walking in silence, avoided the step that made noise, and walked down only to hear Zach come down the steps and whisper, “ [Y/N] the bear dad got you is gone!” 

‘ An animal. . .” 

[Y/N] sprinted down and ran the steps to see her teddy bear, the giant one her dad got her for her birthday before he left hanging from the ceiling fan, with candy spilling out. Relief washed over her as she realized that Sarah’s sister would be okay if it weren’t for Zach screaming, alerting his sister to his side. [Y/N]’s eyes widened at the sight, a red liquid. . . ‘ Blood?’ except followed by the blood were a pair of eyes, blue eyes like those of Sarah, small baby teeth, and a tongue. [Y/N] wasted no time and grabbed her brother and ran to the neighbors calling their mother and the police. 

No doubt about it, the police said the same thing. It was probably a robber, but they warned their mother that she shouldn’t leave her children like that alone ever again or CPS would be involved. Their mother thanked them and apologized to the officers along with the neighbors for staying awake and taking care of the children. The police went inside the home to recover the bear and the organs, explaining how they might be connected to a murder that happened recently, right across the street from them, two blocks down. At the sound of this, [Y/N] panicked and asked if the victim was a little girl, blue eyes, light brown hair, an older sister, etc. The officers were surprised and suspicious of [Y/N] for knowing a lot of info and began to question the girl. 

“ How do you know that?” 

“ I heard about some strange things occurring at her house, you see she is one of my classmates and I'm worried! Was it her?” 

“ Y-yes it was, but the conclusion we came to would be that the person who did it probably tried to scare you too and they snuck in to display what you saw in your house. You will be questioned later but be safe. Parts of the crime scene were found in your home, either you’re the next or its someone who gets a kick out of these displays.” 

“ Thank you officer and of course, you will be informed if anything changes!” [Y/N]’s mother apologized and thanked them once more. The house was secure and they could return, the only shocking thing was that Zach was speaking to Jack again. Zach was a little uncomfortable that jack arrived a little later after all this happened and that he was laughing. Zach just kept asking Jack where he was and if he was okay. 

[Y/N]’s mother was a little confused but rushed her children inside the house. [Y/N] walked over to her mom and they began to talk, mostly about the incident. 

“ Mom, hey. . . I think it’s best if me and Zach stay home. . .” 

“ I want you to go to school, it’s safer.” 

“ If someone did some inside the house to scare us, let’s say we are next. That means that they might stalk us and if we go to school, which means that will find out where we are will only lead to more danger.” 

“ If you stay home where he might come back you’ll be in more danger, [Y/N] listen to me, it’s not that hard to listen to your mother is it?” 

“ Why can’t you take the day off and take care of us? You always come home late, ever think that maybe we are more in danger because of that?” 

“ No need to raise your voice nor get sassy! As your mother I am doing the best I can for you guys but if you want to complain then complain to someone else because I am sure we are all shaken up after these events-” 

“ If you were around the house more you would know! Ask your boss, I am sure she will be okay with you staying home or coming home back earlier-” 

“ I bring food to this table, to this home by working more hours! If you had a job then maybe you would understand how difficult it is-” 

“ I do have a job and that’s being the mom you FAILED TO BE!” 

‘ slap’ 

“ I DON’T EVER WANT YOU TO TALK BACK TO ME YOU HEAR!” 

Zach came down the stairs and ran to [Y/N]’s side in fear for her. Their mother sighed and told Zach to go back upstairs to sleep, but Zach refused. [Y/N] laughed a little before grabbing Zach and saying, “ No wonder Dad wanted full custody of us. . .” 

“ W-WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY?” 

“ I said what I had to say! Dad saw that you could never be a good mom and look, I am that proof! Who is playing house now?” 

[Y/N] tucked in Zach before giving him a kiss on the cheek and saying good night. She walked back to her room, before Zach said something to [Y/N] that made her smile. “ Y/N, b-be safe, I love you and Jack wants me to tell you, good job for standing up to her.” 

“ Thank you Zach and Jack, thanks for that.” 

~~ 

Another day, and Sarah didn’t come to school so nobody heard the details about last night. [Y/N] has only tonight, because if everything so far has been based on the pattern, Jack was going to kill Zach tonight and [Y/N] wasn’t going to let that happen. She thought of some ways that she could outsmart Jack. 

‘ Jack can teleport because all the doors were locked and he killed Sarah’s sister yesterday and did his whole charade thingy. Anyways, if that’s the case then he can’t know where Zach is but he hangs with him all the time and if I tell Zach to run Jack will only get to him faster, Jack could also kill me too. . .My only choice is to confront him. .’ 

Once having her resolve, [Y/N] left school a little earlier than usual, her mother would be getting a call so no doubt about it she will find out, but in the end she would thank [Y/N] for saving Zach. Except that never happened. It was late at night and [Y/N]’s mother wasn’t going to come home and just stay late working. [Y/N] had a plan to confront him, simply put they were going to have another sibling sleepover, if Jack only killed children he would have to take Zach away from her giving her enough time to bolt with Zach or to tell him to go over the neighbors and leave her with Jack. 

“ Zach, mom is going to be late again so come and sleepover in my room. I don’t have the bear anymore but still, I can be the next teddy bear.” 

“ Okay [Y/N]!” 

Zach was safely tucked in the bed and was snoring peacefully, [Y/N] pretended to be asleep and heard a soft shuffle, only for a voice to speak. 

“ You’re not asleep.” 

[Y/N] opened her eyes, bridal style carried Zach and ran. She had to make it downstairs and at the very least make him go with the neighbors. Zach awoke within the ruckus and was confused when [Y/N] told him to run to the neighbors when she opened the door. Jack apeared right in front of them halfway down the stairs, only for [Y/N] to jump over the railing and continue to the door. 

“ ZACH NOW!” 

Zach ran and kept ringing the bell until the neighbors opened, Zach was safe! [Y/N] turned around to meet with Jack, she sighed before she told him that he would never get Zach. 

“ Thank’s for the compliment but I’m not going to let you hurt Zach.” 

“ Out of all the children I’ve killed, every home I visited, you are the only one who paid attention, cared even, if only the others were like you.” 

“ Thanks, but like I said I don’t intend to let Zach die here!” 

“ You aren’t stupid, you know that I could easily kill him, but I admire that side of you. If only Issac was like that, shame really. I came for life and a life I shall have, so tell me, wanna strike a deal?” 

~~ 

“ Please help my sister!! She is trapped with someone scary!!” 

“ Of course! Let’s call the police!” 

By the time the police were called onto the scene, [Y/N] was long gone. [Y/N]’s mother was arrested for child negligence and for not administering parental supervision such as a babysitter or a relative coming over. Zach was forced to live in an orphanage but his neighbors gladly took him in, unknown to the rest they were trying to have a child for so long but haven’t been able to, Zach didn’t mind. Except, he wanted his sister [Y/N]. 

Christmas rolled around and Zach was opening the gifts his new parents got him, except one was wrapped nicely in decorative paper. Zach’s parents weren’t sure who got it, but it was for Zach. It was a big bear, one like [Y/N] had. Zach cried a little at the memory before smiling, his sister was alive, he knew this, but where was she. She was right outside watching him smile, [Y/N] smiled at the sight before an all too familiar clown arrived to pick her up. He grabbed her hand, feeling nothing from him,  [Y/N] thought back to that night, the night he claimed her as his, mentally. Whether it is for comfort or for something else, Jack was glad to have someone like [Y/N] with him, someone to care for him. He looked down at the girl as he ruffled her hair before leaning forward. 

His hand got closer and closer to her cheek before he touched it. 

“ Pop Goes [Y/N~”

#yandere #yandere fanfiction #yandere x y/n #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #yandere laughing jack #laughing jack #creepypasta #yandere creepypasta #laughing jack x reader

[everafterkeiji]

Song: Drivers License by Olivia Rodrigo

Pairings: Tooru Oikawa x fem! reader

Word count: 8k

A/N: wow im so thankful for those who waited this long for the sequel so here it is, i really hope you guys like this one and im semi sorry for the pain, but thank u!

previous

“I can’t find her, Oikawa!” Iwaizumi shouts with his voice trembling in secret, hands gripping each side of the steering wheel, feeling his heart race faster than his own engine. He couldn’t bear to watch the weary eyes of the person beside him. Deep down he knew it had something to do with his sudden presence. There’s no possible way that when everything has been going amazing for the both of you, it all turns into dust with the quick change of events.  

Because of him.

He should’ve known that the arrival of Oikawa would bring you back to rock bottom and him along with it but even if he seemed prepared for the upcoming events- the impact of how painful it was never lessened.  

What if you knew?

What if you knew that you were soon to be off his hands and return to Oikawa’s instead?

Imagining you with a suitcase in hand, watching you drag it as you walked beside Tooru to say goodbye to him while you both leave for Argentina is a sight that could make his now healed heart return to the shreds that it was when his best friend called him to tell him about his plans of bringing you back. It may have been a few days after that agonizing call but his heart has never been more content to see you smiling. You were both patching each other's missing pieces and even created new and better ones, replacing the sharp bits that deserved it.

But the boy who thought he could return it to its proper condition— ended up tearing them apart.

Tooru struggles to stay put in his seat. His heart held the same pace as Iwaizumis, maybe even faster. He visualized his coming home would’ve been better than this. Sure, he didn’t expect it to be a happy moment. He knew the different emotions you could portray once you see him and he prepares himself for the tears and the punches you’d throw knowing very well it was something he deserved.  

He just wishes he didn’t have to see you tucked away in Hajimes’ arms.  

But with Himari, he could expect something worse than that.

Oikawa looks over to Himari who bit her fingers, anxious on whatever was going on. He could sense the way Iwaizumi’s posture tensed up when they got in his car, though he might have mentioned what his intentions were, he felt like he still needed to repeat it to make him stop his doubts. The setter has mentioned Hirami to Iwaizumi through the call but there was still the threatening silence that surrounds you three.

“Please before you think or say anything else, we’re not in a relationship. Fuck, I would never do that to her and you know that.”

No matter what Oikawa said, there isn’t an ounce of ease that falls on Iwaizumi. The ace knows how your tears fell for the blonde. How you managed to doubt every feature of yours and replace them thinking that she was the version of perfection you wanted to obtain. You weren’t close to perfect but in the eye of the two players— you were certainly close to it. Himari may have been the ideal you looked for but Iwaizumi stood behind to make sure you never question yourself again. Witnessing how you cried for her, he just can’t stand acting like an acquaintance to the girl who you thought was Oikawa’s new lover.

But there she was, seated at the back with her thoughts running to where you were.

Himari finally sees the importance of coming back to Japan within the minutes of being seated in the vehicle. It had been months since she met the setter and not a day passes where she could see the loneliness in his eyes but there were subtle hints of joy in his voice. Seeing him get excited about arranging the apartment, even asking her if the area was close to some locations where they could relax, had her wondering just how you were stuck in his heart.  

At a certain moment, she enters the apartment Oikawa planned for the two of you to see him in the room clutched tightly on a pillow with tears in his eyes. It was the first time the apartment had been officially his and the first night he spent it with his usual choice of emotion— regret. She came in such a wrong time. Instead of being able to congratulate him in settling down in Argentina, she managed to sympathize with him instead. Then it began— the stories, the confessions, you. Everything that escaped his mouth that night all consisted of sentences dedicated to tell her how much of a mark you left on his life.  

With the stories he told, she was excited to meet you. She wanted to hug you if you’d let her because she too was abandoned by a lover with another woman. She didn’t side with Oikawa when she found out that he was the reason, he received a smack to the head when she heard. It shouldn’t circle in her mind knowing you two were strangers but she never wanted anyone to go through the pain that she had passed. To think that Oikawa spoke so often of you yet he was the one to let your relationship part like he wanted to do, felt too ironic to believe.  

So, she helped him. Remembering what she went through for her past half, she couldn’t handle seeing another pair withstand it. Especially when there was a chance to save it.

But the blind eye and weakened mindset is to blame for the misunderstanding.

“I’m sorry but do you think she’s just back at his apartment?” Himari asks but Iwaizumi shakes his head. He knew you too well. You always promised that if you were to leave, you’d always come back before 11pm because he’d never sleep properly if you were out of his sight. It was way pass 10 and he left the apartment at 9:40pm to meet with Oikawa, needing his assistance in finding you. Now it’s 10:17 and he’s yet to receive any messages from you which fed his anxiety.  

He wanted to find you by himself but he knew how much Oikawa was begging the sky for you to meet with him again.

So, for the hundredth time, he forgets what his heart desired for him to do.

“There’s no way. Y/N should’ve been back now- fuck Oikawa what if she saw you?” Iwaizumi asks, his grip tightening more at the thought. The setter fiddled with his hands as the ace felt the weight of his worries. It was the worst thing that could happen but it became real without their acknowledgement.

With the possibility ringing in their heads, Oikawa steps into your shoes as he feels just how shattered your heart could’ve been if you saw him. Barely any time to explain himself or even get to be near you after a year of being away from you had his emotions tangled in knots but he needed to find a way to tame his and Iwaizumi’s fears.

“Hajime, calm down.” Oikawa tries— or at least begs him to do. It’s seen how his breaths weren’t under control and his usual composed figure was trembling with panic. If Iwaizumi fails to keep his mind straight, they’d be prone to danger.

“I can’t- you don’t understand!” He shouts as Tooru was taken aback by it, later his fists form a ball as he began to feel how unfair everything’s been. Hajime was underestimating Oikawa too much to the point that it looks like he wasn’t nearly as concerned.

“I don’t understand? I haven’t seen her in a fucking year and now she’s possibly missing and you don’t think I’m not losing my goddamn mind?” Oikawa argues back while Iwaizumi scoffs.

“Why didn’t you visit her then? Don’t tell me you weren’t ready while Y/N was ready to come back to you the moment you left!”  

Again, he was dumbfounded.  

He could never win against what was true.  

He truly wasn’t. Booking a flight and packing was the easiest part there is but the words that ran through his mind weren’t sure if he’d ever voice it out. The confrontation, to see you so broken because of him? Who can be ready for such a thing?  

He left without goodbyes, it’s a crime to come back and act like it didn’t happen. 

Yet what he’s been so at rage at was the fact that you found sanctuary in Iwaizumis’ arms instead of his.  

“You’re acting like you don’t fucking love her too!”

The way Oikawa’s voice echoed through the car made Iwaizumi’s heartbeat way louder than he expected.  

He was trapped, wasn’t he?

Iwaizumi deeply let’s his decision sit in his mind before his mouth could release it from him. Would a scoff mirror his denial? Averting the topic would lead to the same impression but if he agrees- that draws a line for years long of friendship between him and Oikawa. Covering a lie is better than whole heartedly admitting how he’s grown attached to you, while the man who left you was still in love with you like he was. Trying to lie to himself and allowing the denial stick with him was a situation he’d never be able to escape.  

The first time he’s ever loved someone turns into a war—battling with his morals and the person who’s fought by his side throughout the years.

But what would be the prize if he won?

“I know where she could be.” Oikawa suggests, his voice holding calmness but his mind let Iwaizumi’s silence in his previous comment rest in his mind. He couldn’t look at him because he understood why his own best friend would fall for you. He wasn’t oblivious to the time it took him to answer, or even how his eyes widened like a deer in headlights. He knew either way. The moment where Iwaizumi moved in with you- it was bound to happen because loving you is something that both boys will do until one of them bends a knee, even if one of them fails to be the first to do so.

“How are you sure she’d be there?” The young trainer asks as Oikawa sighs sadly when he reminisces to the time where he had met you on a little park on the way home. He figured that the way you looked that night was the same reaction you’d have if you saw him.

“What are you doing here?” Tooru asks, a curious yet worried tone in his voice. He watches you lift your head from your hands to look at him before tensing up when you realized who was standing in front of you. You quickly wiped your eyes as your stare remains anywhere but where he was.

“It’s nothing.” You whispered as he shakes his head before taking the seat next to you, looking at you while he wonders on how he can help even if he had no business to.  

“You’d kill me if I say that your acting is a 5/10.” He jokes while you rolled your eyes, not needing the teases but what held you back from being arrogant was that you could feel how he wanted to stay with you.

“Whatever problem that is- I’m here if you ever need me.” Tooru says, his voice lowering showing how sincere he was with his words. Carrying burden on your shoulders isn’t to be face when you’re all alone so he was willing to take some of the heaviness if you let him.

“Thanks, Oikawa.” You said, looking at him with gratitude. He smiles before standing up with a hand extended for you to take while you stare at him with confusion.

“Tooru. It’s better that way.” He says while you smile fondly taking his hand while you stand up, taking the spot beside him.

You were thankful that he didn’t bother to ask what caused this breakdown and he chose to let his presence do the comfort you really needed.

“What’s your favorite food?” You look at him with an eyebrow raised as he waits for your answer. With the endless choices you had to pick one— which was a struggle but you had to respond.

“It’s F/F.”

“Then I’ll take you to the place that serves the best of it.”

He shakes his head before looking at Iwaizumi while the other boy sighs, choosing to trust Oikawa. He was in another realization that there were still missing parts of your relationship that you haven’t told him and it makes him feel like a cast away but he had no other option.  

“We have to try and go to that location.” Himari suggests making Hajime sigh knowing trying is the only way to lead you back to him. He gestures for Oikawa to tell him the where while he listens intently on the details. Finding himself familiar with the place, he sighs in relief when he realizes it was a place located near the path you’d take home in your high school days.

But why was he nervous?

Every part of him was aching with anxiety even if he trusted Oikawa. Tooru knows more about you than Iwaizumi but the ace felt as if he was too close to finally knowing you the way the captain did. He was close to landing a soft spot in your heart- perhaps he’s already earned it but there’s still that worry that even if he tries, it wouldn’t alter.

What if he sees you all bruised up? What if your clothes were ripped and how could he continue to act like it wasn’t his fault he let you wander alone? Though he feels like you’d scold him when you find out he’s laid the blame upon himself. 

He just thinks about how he wanted things to be different from the way it was now.

Iwaizumi believed Oikawa, he truly did yet there was a sickening voice in his mind that badly wanted the false accusation to be true but this selfishness was put aside when he knew that this was something you wished the gods for.  

He swallows it hard. The truth that was meant to break no matter the circumstance.  

He may be someone you needed but Oikawa was and always will come before him.

“Moving in with her? How easy do you think this will be?” Iwaizumi asks, his phone held tightly in his hands while Oikawa bites his lip, thinking of ways to make sure he can convince his best friend to help him.  

“I’ve set everything. I just need you to help me out on this one.” Oikawa begs while Iwaizumi lets out a scoff followed by his eyes rolling at the dismay. It’s unbelievable how the setter thinks making you agree to this crazy idea was going to be a breeze- a walk in the park even. Imagining you just willingly accepting this offer with bags packed and little to no fighting- it seems like a different version of you. Iwaizumi knew that you deeply missed Oikawa but it didn’t mean you were always ready to face him. He’s seen instances where you’ve mistaken a man to be Tooru but your initial choice is to hold onto the ace and hid behind him. He feels how tense your grip was, probably in fear that Oikawa was there and that made him realize that you’ve yet to gather the confidence to meet him.

“I’ll be home soon and I know it’s going to be difficult but... please Iwa.”

“Do you think this is what she wants?” Hajime asks, wishing that his answer wasn’t what he was expecting. He knows how Oikawa’s efforts will be nothing if he lets all of this go but then again, this was too absurd to happen without fail.

And Iwaizumi can’t bear to let you go this quick.

“I love her, Hajime. This is what we’ve always wanted to do— be with each other. Now, I know I fucked up and this may not be the best decision but if I let her walk away again then who am I to say that I love her in the first place?”  

“The problem is that you walked away first, Oikawa. Do you think I’d like to see her be in the same amount of fucking pain you gave her throughout the year? I’m not letting her move in with you when not even half of your problems are fucking solved,” he pauses trying to catch his breath but then there it was— the selflessness that he didn’t want to appear because you can’t be selfish when you're not even his to begin with.

“But if she wants to go... I can’t stop her, can I?”

“Take a turn here.” Oikawa directs as Hajime follows suit. Upon seeing the familiar street, he relaxes a little. Tooru then steps out just as Iwaizumi turns off the engine.

“I’ll check first.” the boy declares while Iwaizumi sighs, leaning on the seat. Himari wonders if she should follow him, not that it bothered her to stay behind, but seeing Oikawa in a rush with a hazy mind doesn’t mean he’d be able to calm down. Iwaizumi could feel her worry so he speaks.

“You can go but if you get lost, message me.”  

Himari stays still for a second. It occurs to her they haven’t shared a single conversation and the nerves of intimidation shows itself. The moment she entered the car, she knew there was something more than just tension. Talking to him like there wasn’t that field of uneasiness was difficult.  

Because she knows that he loves you too.

“Thank you but can I ask you something?” she asks while Iwaizumi shifts his body to look at her and pay some mind to what she’s going to say.

“Is she mad at me?”

The boy was more than surprised to hear it from her.  

“I have a feeling she knows or if she doesn’t, I don’t want to be looked as the girl who took the person she loves.” She confesses softly while Iwaizumi remained silent letting the words sink in his mind. The blonde smiles at him fondly realizing that her outburst completely left him stunned.

“I like Y/N. Whether you believe me or not, Oikawa talks about her too much and I would love to get the chance to see her without rivalry. I just feel like—with the idea of me and that dumbass being together for a year, it really doesn’t sound comforting to think of.”

“You will meet but I can’t lie and say that you didn’t leave an impression on her.” Iwaizumi says, the past tension disappearing when he realizes that she really wasn’t what the photo made her to be. He wishes he could tell you just how much of a person Himari was other than the girl you’d want to be.

The girl sighs but accepts it knowing it wasn’t alien to her to understand what you could possibly feel.

“Guess I’ll be finding that asshole for a while.” She says and Iwaizumi nods but there was a question that he let pass his mouth.

“How come you like her that much?”  

Himari smiles as she stares at the sky before looking back at the boy left in the car.

“She reminds me of my girlfriend.”  

With that sentence and the ace’s jaw to the floor of a reaction, she lets out a laugh before opening the door and exiting the vehicle and an obviously flustered Iwaizumi.

_

“Y/N?” Oikawa calls out for the seventh time as he stands still for a second, his legs burning from running in circles. He pants but he decides that there was no other option but to keep going.  

Anything that it takes to love you more than he ever could.

“You and me, right?”  

“Come back to me.” He whispers, resembling you last year with one of your desperate attempts in his voice messages.

Then the tears formed while his energy was deafening.

“I’m so sorry.” He mutters, hiding his face in his hands as he lets the guilt him harder than it did compared to Argentina. You were here— a location away and he was growing more and more scared at the thought if you out this without a trace of evidence that you were safe though that issue was one of his biggest concerns but what follows it is that the hope that he gathered was dying.

“Are you?”  

Just as his eyes landed on your distant figure, his legs were glued to the floor.

Move! Fuck- I need to hold her but why can’t I move?

“Oikawa.” You called out to him, to confirm that your tears weren’t mistaking him for another person. You heard him but perhaps you needed more than just that. This is Oikawa. The person you’ve waited for, cried for, loved for how many years, yet both of your feet didn’t bother to step forward.

Were you waiting for someone else?

“Y/N.” Then his feet gave in, leading them to you as well as a pair of arms whose waited nothing else then to feel this sensation again. He buries his face in your shoulder, tears dampening your shirt as he held you tightly with his sobs resonating in your ear but your arms never reacted to him.

But you broke down as well.

You couldn’t believe it. He was here, embracing you with every ounce of love he gives you but you stood there like your heart didn’t endlessly wail for him but numbness seems to have sided with victory this time.  

At the time where you needed to speak, the words that you wished served as an embrace transformed into a weapon.

“Tooru, I need you to let go.” you whispered softly while he shook his head, sobbing harder when he ponders on the fear that holds him down. Was this the last time? The everlasting moment where he could show you his regret while he begs you to continue an ever after with him?

Was he just meant to circle the world without you?

“If I move to a certain place, will you follow me?” He asks as his hands continues to caress your cheek while you smiled at him, before letting your own hand run through his brown locks. He closes his eyes before wrapping his arms around your waist, his slow breaths calming you both noticing how exhausted he was.

“Anywhere you go, as long as I’m with you, I’ll follow.”

“You promise?” he whispers, not letting his eyes open as he lets his imagination take him to countries that the both of you could visit and a tiny smile falls on his face when he realizes that he’d be able to travel around the world with a person who he’ll be seeing at the end of the altar.

“Of course, Tooru.”

When he meant that it’d always be you and him, it was partially true.

But the saying didn’t mean you’d always be together.

So, it’s always you and him- against each other's heart since the world you promised each other has faded.

“Y/N, if I let you go, are you going to return?”  

“I held on, didn’t I? What’s there to return to, Oikawa?”

“I’m so sorry.” But what he does next strikes a heavy hit to your heart as he lands on his knees, with his hands covering his face as he cries when he knew that an apology was the least cure that there is to mend an unfixable heart.

“Oikawa, stand up.” he shakes his head as he began to continuously apologize but all you wanted was to let the silence consume him. You hated this. You knew Oikawa was in pain too but seeing him in the same position you were in made your heart sting at how he cried in front of you when you knew he hated that you could see him like this.

“Babe? Hey- Tooru? I’m right here.” You asked him as you rushed to his side while he wipes his eyes immediately before putting on a smile as you hand him his towel, patting it down on his forehead. He looks at you as his eyes gather another batch of tears when he sees how worried you looked.  

He hates it when you see him cry.

Though he doesn’t mind being vulnerable, this was a side of him that stayed at rock-bottom and the efforts he made to come back at the top had been attempts that made him stay longer.

After patting his sweat, you looked at him as he was shaking at the mix of emotions of the outcome of the match with Shiratorizawa. He avoids eye contact with you as his tears fell on the gym floor.  

“Tooru.” you whispered as you cup his cheeks taking him by surprise as he stares at your loving eyes while you send him a smile, catching the tears that were streaming down. He leans into your touch and maybe his efforts of trying to leave rock-bottom weren’t all wasted.

Especially, when your hand was ready for him to take just as the bottom of the pit began to win him over.

“I love you.” It was only three words that could’ve carried more but to Oikawa, it was all he wanted to hear because you love for him spoke more than just those three. You meant it in every way that he can understand.

Because with a simple confession of love, it was already enough to lead the defeat away from him.

“And I love you more.”  

You crouch down as you tried to make him stand up but instead, he remained on the floor making you cry even more when you realized he leaned his weight on his bad knee, making you look away and choosing to hold his arm in order to hoist him up as you wept for him.

“Oikawa stand up!” You yelled but he looked up to see the endless flow of your tears as he shakes his head, disobeying your orders while your heart crumbles when he reaches his hand to your cheek, holding it fragilely as he stares at you with the same amount of pain you held in front of him.

When million words were needed, the silence chose to speak for itself.

Don’t you love me anymore? Oikawa thinks as he continues to watch the love of his life fall under the solitude he caused.

I love you with everything I have, but what can guarantee that it’s enough for me to stay when the pain is twice as the amount?

“Why are you here, Tooru?” You asked him as he uses his finger to wipe away the tear that was bound to fall, as a sad smile tugs on his lips.

“I’m here for you, Y/N. Only you.” Oikawa answers as he averts his eyes to the ground while your hands form into a fist because you already accepted the fact that he belonged to someone else, even if it made you throw away the memories in his car just to face the harsh reality.

Besides, the street lights didn’t lead you to him anymore.

“Stop lying to me. It shouldn’t be me anymore.” He lets his blurry eyes portray the betrayal that pulsated through his body as he repeatedly shakes head, refusing to believe that those words came from you. He didn’t fly here to confuse himself with his priorities. You were the only reason- hearing you say that you were the least of his intentions had him wondering the depths of his mistakes.

“It’s always been you and no one else! I came back for you- to fix this- us, Y/N! I-I'm so sorry!”

“IS THAT ALL YOU’RE GONNA SAY TO ME?”

The volume of your voice startled him when he sees your hand clutching tightly on your shirt as you stood up and the apple of your cheeks colored in frustration. 

“Am I ever going to get an explanation on why the person that I loved left me without goodbye? Am I just going to hear you apologize for hours and not a single answer is given to me? Oikawa- I waited- I want to forgive you so fucking badly but I’m expecting more than an apology without you telling me why you did it!” You didn’t mean to raise your voice to such an extent but the answer you waited for a year was yet to be given a response.

Hearing his pleas brought an emotion you weren’t familiar with. You expected that he would apologize but at first you didn’t know why it gave you disappointment instead of satisfaction. Surely, you wanted to hear it- let it replay in your ears for as long as you wished but that wasn’t enough to patch up a heart that’s been through more than just a slice in the middle.

“And why did it have to be the last time that we were happy?” You asked him with your voice purely showing the torment you go through when you remember the last night that scarred your emotions. How was he able to leave after a night of serenity? Were his laughs all a cover up his plan of leaving you as fast as he could?  

“Please answer me, Tooru.” You begged but it came as a whisper when you aggressively wiped your eyes that were exhausted and tempted to close.  

Oikawa bites his lip but takes a deep breath before letting his words decide the outcome.

“I lost grip on what I wanted to do. After that match- and all of the things that I couldn’t stop thinking about- everything was messy. An escape and a way to find that passion again were my options to get this sick feeling over.”

“But I was never in those options, wasn’t I?” he grips the fabric of his sweats beside him as he avoids your glistening eyes knowing how agonizing it was to hear it from him that you had been pushed to the dark corners of his mind like a forgotten idea.

“Are you sure, honey? This is unlikely of you to be spontaneous in this way.” his mother comments, her hand falling on top of her sons' hand. Oikawa smiles at her softly, sending a nod to his father as well. He knew his family was going to supportive no matter what, he was a star after all but he knew they were worried about him. A country with immense culture that he’s yet to learn about is a whole other experience but he felt as if it was the decision that could hold all the victories he wanted to earn.  

“What about Y/N? Why don’t you take her with you? School is finished and it’d be a great step for you two as a couple, Tooru.” He sighs heavily, placing his hands on his lap as he lets the question wonder over this head.

“I’ll figure it out.”

“Y/N-”

“And I guess contacting me wasn’t a good idea either?” You continued, the flare of rage igniting more as all of the excuses you made for yourself for his indecency have been made clear that it was his choice in leaving you in the past.

“How could you! You- fuck Oikawa!” You shouted as you felt your body shrivel with the anger as he tries to hold you but you pushed him away as the nearby stop lights painted the night a shade of red that resembled equal parts of anger and love.

“What was that for?” You asked him with a giggle as he smothers your hand with gentle pecks. During a red light, it became a habit for him to show you affection while you wait for it to turn green. You always drove late together so when the streets weren’t occupied, his voice would echo through the air when he shouts your name with a declaration of how much he loves you, or sometimes he’d steal kisses catching you off guard like he’s doing now.

“Well, it’s obvious that you didn’t complain babe.” He teases as you lean closer, giving him a subtle kiss on his temple making him blush instantly. He smiles at you before taking your hand and landing a peck to your ring finger as your heartbeat picks up an irregular pattern while the light turns green, his brown eyes leaving yours.

“Now, what about that?” You asked him while he fixates his focus on the road ahead but his dream with you causes him to smile like the lovesick fool that he was.

“In case I couldn’t do it in the future.”

“Fuck you for leaving and acting like I wasn’t here! You and your girl-”

“Oikawa?”

When your eyes landed on a familiar blonde, the chances of saying those three words once again began to disappear.

“Y/N?”  

And with the sound of her voice, everything became blurry when you remember the way she looked next to him with a smile.

“I’m Himari.” she introduces herself while taking cautious of her words when she sees the drop in your features. She hesitates to take a step forward knowing the mind who misunderstood was sharper than hers.

“And you brought your girlfriend.” you said with another sigh of exhaustion and when Himari hears this sentence she immediately knew what impression she had left from Iwaizumi’s words. She takes a step forward making you lower your head, not wanting to be near the person who was the main focus of Oikawa for a year but there wasn’t an ounce of spite that was directed to her.

“Y/N, we’re not dating.” Oikawa assures you, mimicking Himari’s actions, hoping that he could hold onto your hand and change your mind which he knew it was a little too late when his conversation with his best friend resonates through his ears.

“What do you think? She’s fucking crying again.”

“We are not dating, I promise. I helped him for you to settle in Argentina.”

Argentina?

“Oikawa- what does she mean I’ll be settling?”  

The silence on the side opposite to you has never been louder. Oikawa and Himari share a look while you stood there with more than confusion that was mixing in your range of emotions. Your eyes dart between him and the girl while the beats of their heart began to speed up, not because of their own panic, but for you. Himari then awakens from the absurd idea she was brought into. Being in this tense atmosphere, she knew it was the wrong move all along but it seems to strike her more when she sees the way the flow of your tears didn’t alter.

“Tooru, answer me.”

“He didn’t tell you.” Oikawa says making Himari groan and before she could approach you, she sees a figure running your way.

“Y/N!” Iwaizumi shouts before he engulfs you in his arms while there was a wave of relief that overcomes you as you immediately reciprocate his embrace as he caresses your hair and holds you tight. The worry in him dissolves when he ran and saw that you had zero injuries but when he saw your puffed cheeks and sore eyes, he wanted nothing more than to hold you when he realized the two were stood in front of you.

“Thank fuck you’re okay, please never leave me like that again.” He whispers while you nod and within this moment, you found a way to breathe properly as Hajime continues to keep you near him but when his eyes landed on Oikawa’s defeated orbs, he pulls away gently.

Himari saw how one of them had their heart sewn back together while the other one shattered.  

“You didn’t tell her?” Oikawa asks while your head turns to Iwaizumi who had his eyebrows raised but he looked at your confused expression and realizes he was pertaining to the issue of moving together. As you cautiously watch his features, you take a step away from him, standing in the middle of the two boys.

“Iwa, you knew?”  

Fuck. The situation he was in felt like a twist of fate. When the idea was brought to him, he wasn’t planning to go on about it but this was Oikawa. The boy he grew up with, shared his dreams and weaknesses, and the one who reminded him that a burden should never be carried alone.  

“I’m not going to lose to you, Oikawa.”

“That’s good to hear, Iwa-chan.”

But then you came and suddenly the competition grew into something more, a level that could end up having gold or having nothing when it came down to the winner.

“So, you two just accepted the fact that I’m willing to forget that he left and live with him that easily?” The two players remain silent even Himari chose to avoid barging in on a matter that only included the three of you but it did pain her to watch this unfold. She wonders how you carry this amount of pain and betrayal. It’s evident that the two have more than just a special place in your life.  

It’s as if your heart wasn’t just yours anymore.  

“Y/N, I wasn’t going to let you go just like that.” Hajime says but then he held back a few words that he knew would change everything for the three of you but it seems as if there already was a cut in the unity.

“Tooru, what did you do?” After hearing his answers, nothing became clear. There were missing details and words that you wished you could hear from him. With the surprise of moving to Argentina- it felt as if you were stuck in you and Oikawa’s past dream of travelling the world. This was one of the promises that could’ve stayed if not for the terrible timing. To witness the beauty of the different countries with Oikawa could’ve been a moment in your life where there was nothing but pure bliss and admiration for each other- which then turned into isolation.

“Back in Brazil, I had Himari help me with everything we needed to move in together. I thought that this would’ve been the chance for us to be together again- to have you with me and make up for all my mistakes. I know you’ve had enough with my promises so I’m not making more. I’m doing whatever it takes because I love you so much, Y/N.”

“Where did that love go, Oikawa?”

Perhaps that love was replaced by fear, especially when he can see his own reflection on Iwaizumi.

“Y/N,” the setter approaches you with care as he holds your hand, almost letting his doubts run him over when the idea of you letting go strikes his mind. He then looks at you which made you hold your breath when his eyes brought you to a memory you chose to forget.

“I love you, you know?”

“Why are you speechless?” Tooru asks while he stops walking to gaze at your flustered reaction. He then smiles before standing in front of you and places his hand on the crown of your head.

“Does that mean that I don’t show much I love you?” You shook your head while his previous words rang in your ears like your favorite song and looking at him now, your heart is overjoyed with your own love for the boy.

Taking him by surprise, you wrapped your arms around his neck attacking him in a tight embrace with an irreplaceable smile while he laughs and takes your waist by the arm muttering the same three words that he said earlier. Oikawa twirls you around while you returned the feeling.

“I love you more, Tooru!” He puts you down before cupping your cheeks with his hands as he savors the look in your eyes that only held him in it. He lowers his head as you didn’t hesitate to close the space between you and him.

But what is the same man that was in front of you?

“Iwaizumi, let’s give them some space.” Himari suggests, softly tugging on Iwaizumi’s sleeve. With hesitation, he still agreed but his eyes lingered on you who was held by Oikawa and with the sight of it had him let your words resonate in his ears as his heart silently bawls.

“Don’t fall in love with my broken pieces, Hajime. You deserve someone who is- complete.”

I’m too late, Y/N.

Himari who held onto his arm, stopped walking when she sees the longing stare that Iwaizumi’s eyes held for you. She could sense that every part of his body desired to be close to yours and catch you over and over again just to be with you. She smiles fondly when she realizes that she must’ve looked like this in the past- sick in love without a trace of fear to do anything for the person you adored but what did it feel to fight for your heart against his own best friend?

“But if she wants to go... I can’t stop her, can I?”

I want to try even if it isn’t me.

“Hate me, punch me for leaving, go on. Call me stupid and more but not being yours is the worst thing there is to say.” Tooru begins, long breaths within pauses to ensure his honesty is apparent in every word he speaks because he needed to make ends meet knowing this was the only solution to find his way back to you.  

And with an open heart, you listened.

No matter how many times he’s scarred you, you believed that he was still the same Tooru that cured the pain.

So when he held your cheek in both his hands, you saw nothing more than the boy you would love all over again.

“I am more than sorry for everything that I’ve done but I know that those aren’t the words you waited to hear. It’s my fault and to think that deciding without you knowing or even contacting you after I left are just actions that I regret everyday. I’ll accept if you don’t forgive me— I understand and it’s only right for me to deserve it but it doesn’t mean I won’t try for us to be together again.” He rests his forehead on yours as you silently let the tears land on his hands as he whimpers, closing his eyes as he finds it harder and harder to maintain his pace of breathing while you didn’t dare to open your eyes and look at the weeping boy.

“I c-can’t change what I did but I want you to know that within that year—being without you was more than I can take. So, if you let me hold you just for a while, then maybe I-“ He couldn’t even bare to finish his own sentence when his sobs interfered with him as you could feel the way his hands felt weaker against your skin but he held it with all his emotions.  

But when your arms began to wrap around his neck with your chin to his shoulder, his heartbeat took a leap but he instantly wraps his own around your waist as he sobs into your shoulder while another person watched in sorrow.

“I can’t forget what you did but holding you is more than I wished for, Tooru.” He smiles slightly as he closes his eyes and embraces your warmth that he craved for as your thoughts ran with the seconds that passed. He strokes your hair with his hands as your heart nearly aches at how gentle he was as if every action would lead to another permanent stain on you but you held onto him more when you felt the familiar ache pulse through your body. The nostalgia it gave you holding him like this leads you to feel the past embraces he’d give after every game, after every melt down, and after every argument. He may not be able to express his repenting with mere sentences but what you knew is that with every action he does is covered in the stories he failed to tell. After all, he’s your Tooru Oikawa. The boy who gave you every ounce of love and joy even if brought you to your knees, even if the promises turned to dust. So, letting your words course through him, he subtly pulls away and looks at you with a smile as you took a few steps back.

And with a few more heavy steps of decision, you grabbed his hand, interlacing it with yours as your hesitation lies under your skin.

But your heart was certain as it is.

—

The sun rose as you stretched, the immediacy of silence creeping around your room as you watched the clouds showcase the beaming colors of its rays. Smiling with bliss, you step out of your bed and began to run your usual motives. With your clothes all pampered and ready, you wore them with pride as you looked at yourself in the mirror with a photo to the side as another flutter of a heartbeat came your way.  

Dialing his number, his voice came in a second later as the glee in your heart overflows at the sound of him.

“Congratulations, Tooru! God, you were amazing and words cannot express how proud I am of you!” You cheered as the boy cries over the phone with the medal hanging on his neck with his tears decorating his cheeks as you too shed a few tears seeing him succeed over the television. Seeing him shine in the lights, displaying his winning smile as he was embraced by his fellow teammates was a view that had you let out a few shouts of exhilaration knowing this has been his dream that you supported throughout everything. He truly deserved it.

“I wish you were here but fuck thank you so much.” He says with a never-ending smile as you looked at the photo on your mirror making your heart chase the happiness that it gave you to see him like this. Glancing on a familiar vehicle park outside the building, you let out a laugh before speaking once again.

“Let’s make up for lost time.” You suggested, making the length of his smile grow as he too looks at a photo present in front of him. With two hearts lured into serenity, there wasn’t a moment more perfect than this.

“I’d like that.” Oikawa replies as you continued to put on your shoes.

“Are you good to go?” he asks as you answered a short yes before grabbing your things, and leaving the apartment as you pressed the phone to your ear to listen further.

“I’ll see you real soon.” Tooru says with a certain tease in his tone as you let out a chuckle before pressing the button to end the call.

As you walked to the car, you could feel the excitement rushing to you as he opens the door for you as you bid him a smile as he steps into the drivers seat and the love-struck boy wonders if the passenger seat has looked this bright. Seeing you in the afterglow as the sun entered the vehicle, covering you in the rays of it made his heart grew the prettiest flowers.

“What’s wrong?” you asked as he shook his head before leaning closer to land a peck to your cheek, pushing aside a strand of hair just to tuck behind your ear as your cheeks grew into the hue of love as his own orbs displayed a deeper amor than before.

“I love you that’s all.” He confesses making you smile as you intertwine your hands in his as he presses a firm kiss on it and with his free hand he turns on the engine. Turning his head so his eyes met your loving ones, he speaks.

“Ready for our drive?”  

“As ready as I can be, Hajime.”

Taglist: @dekuspet @splaterparty0-0 @jihyunnxtooru @sakusakei-omi

#oikawa tooru #hq oikawa #oikawa x reader #oikawa fic #oikawa toru x reader #haikyuu oikawa #oikawa imagine #toru oikawa #Iwaizumi Hajime #hajime iwaizumi #iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu iwaizumi #hq iwaizumi #Aoba Johsai #aoba jōsai #haikyuu tooru #haikyuu!! #haikyū!! #haikyu x reader

[hiccanna-tidbits]

Autistic Hiccup x ADHD Anna Headcanons

SO I’ve been really into the whole Autistic x ADHD ship dynamic and Hiccanna...highkey fits??? Like y’all know I will die on my “Anna has ADHD” hill, but after reading this post by @hobie-brown I’m like wait, the autistic Hiccup headcanon is wonderful too??? And blends SO WELL with ADHD Anna??? And I absolutely HAD to explore it more so BOOM headcanon time! Another special thanks to @hobie-brown for writing the super lovely autistic Hiccup headcanon masterpost that inspired me to do this!

Disclaimer: I myself am not on the spectrum (part of the reason I’ve always felt a little weird about definitively HCing characters as autistic unless I see actual autistic people HC them that way too), so most of the stuff here is stuff I know secondhand from my autistic friends! I do have ADHD, so I can always promise that ADHD Anna will be 100% authentic XD

~Anna absolutely gets into Hiccup’s special interests to try and impress him. The most obvious one being, of course, dragons, but also dinosaurs (extinct dragons), lizards (tiny dragons), and Dungeons and Dragons (An RPG game that does, in fact, include dragons). Hiccup absolutely had that dragonology book as a kid and got obsessed with it beyond all reasonability. Hilariously, Anna’s wooing strategy of indulging his special interests works like a charm--mainly because a) he’s pretty flattered that someone takes THAT much of an interest in what he likes and b) half the time, ANNA finds that she genuinely gets into whatever said special interest is and finds them easy to hyperfixate on. It helps that the more she obsesses over it herself, the more she has to talk to Hiccup about XD

~Specifically, Anna definitely joins a DnD campaign at some point so that Hiccup will think she’s a “cool gamer girl”--and then gets unironically obsessed with it and starts writing 10-page backstories for all of her characters. She later tells Hiccup it started out as a ruse to win his heart via nerdiness, and he absolutely loses his shit laughing.

~One of their overlapping special interests/hyperfixations is high fantasy. Hiccup is, unsurprisingly, all about the mythical creatures while Anna is more into the magic and the zesty political drama, but you dun best believe they catch every CGI-ridden fantasy movie that ever comes out. They’ve both spent a literal fortune on fantasy movie tickets, even moreso on watching them in 3D or Imax. How embarrassing for both of them.

~Another less-obvious overlapping interest is history. Hiccup gets into it while looking into the cultural mythos of dragons (he’s pretty fascinated by the fact that so many cultures around the world thought up similar creatures independently), while Anna gets into it because she grew up cooped up bored and lonely in a big house, and entertained herself by looking into the history behind some of the family paintings. They don’t seem it at first, but they’re actually both huge medieval and ancient civilization history buffs.

~Hiccup is THE most touch-repulsed person you will ever meet. This is unfortunate, as he is also SUPER touch-starved and absolutely does not realize it (I mean, I’ve never gotten the vibe Stoic was the super huggy type, considering his and Hicc’s relationship in HTTYD 1). This means he has absolutely no fucking clue what to make of Anna when they first meet meet. Anna’s the sort of person to give physical affection pretty freely, especially if she likes you--usually in the form of hugs, arm pats or playful swats, putting her elbow on your shoulder, etc etc. Hiccup is kinda just like “this is way too much touching but like??? I kinda like having her this close to me??? What do???”

~Anna, meanwhile, notices that Hiccup kinda stiffens up whenever she touches him and seems to not be crazy about it and she’s just immediately like “yo what’s wrong???” And as SOON as he admits he’s not all that crazy about being touched randomly she’s like “OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY” and never touches him without asking again.

~As soon as she finds out touch a kind of A Whole Thing for him, Anna is like...AGGRESSIVELY respectful of Hiccup’s boundaries when it comes to physical affection. Almost annoyingly so. She gets in the habit of basically never initiating any kind of physical touch without asking first--even long after they’ve started dating, and he’s told her it’s okay to initiate touching as long as she’s not smothery about it. She still refuses out of principle.

~They come up with a kind of “consent language” so Anna can pretty quickly determine when it’s all right to touch Hiccup--because Anna still really likes being physically affectionate with him, and he does actually like receiving physical affection a lot of the time (because, again, touch-starved), he’s just choosy about who does it. They work out a system based off of small, light touches that Hiccup doesn’t mind where it’s basically 2 taps on his shoulder for “can I hug you around the neck,” 2 taps on his side for “can I hug you around the waist,” 2 taps on his arm for “can I grab/lightly slap/punch your arm,” and 1 tap on is shoulder for “can I put my arm/elbow on your shoulder.” If he’s cool with it he’ll either nod or just say “yeah go ahead.” It works a lot quicker than asking “can I do such-and-such specific touch” every single time, and allows Anna to keep some of her spontaneity. They develop this during their friendship and it ends up rolling over into their relationship, even after Hiccup has basically told her she doesn’t need to ask permission for a lot of these anymore. She adds a new one after they start dating--she taps him a couple times wherever she wants to kiss him to ask if it’s cool to give him a smooch! It usually is.

~INFODUMPING. Literally SO. MUCH. INFODUMPING. Hiccup absolutely WILL NOT SHUT UP when he gets to talking about one of his special interests. Anna just will not shut up in general, but when the topic changes to one of her hyperfixations, it’s even worse. If you try to have a conversation with these two while they’re infodumping, you WILL get talked over. Honestly, left to their own devices, they could probably infodump to each other for literal days on end.

~Despite how much they both like to infodump, they’re both pretty good about being patient and indulging the other when it’s their partner’s turn to infodump in the conversation XD They are, however, notorious about accidentally triggering a barely-related infodump in the other person. It’s not uncommon for one of them to finish a rant and then the other goes “OH THAT REMINDS ME” and sets off on a completely different, barely-related rant.

~Hiccup actually really appreciates how overexpressive--and occasionally overdramatic--Anna tends to be. He never has to try and figure out what she’s thinking because she just says everything in her brain, and her body language basically always matches how she’s feeling to a ridiculous extent, so he never has to give himself a headache trying to read her. The fact that she’s the opposite of subtle and has no filter whatsoever works great for him, because he doesn’t have to drive himself insane trying to understand her. He gets her better than he gets most people because she’s an open goddamn book. The boy’s never been the best with social cues at all, never mind the nuanced, obscure ones, so Anna’s general straightforwardness and utter inability to hide her true feelings at literally any time is a breath of fresh air. What you see is basically what you get, and Hiccup wouldn’t have it any other way.

~People think when Anna and Hiccup start dating it’s gonna be a disaster, mainly because he’s so blunt and she can be...”oversensitive” (i.e. has a REALLY bad case of RSD). Turns out they’re dead wrong--because Hiccup has RSD too! (I mean, come ON--look how BADLY he wants to get his village’s approval! And how hard he takes it when his dad or someone else is mad at him--even if he tries to hide it with snark) He’s actually one of the few people who can be blunt enough with Anna that she realizes when she’s being a dumbass but tactful enough not to hurt her feelings or set off her RSD--because god, has he been there. When Anna is being especially difficult and has worked herself into a real bad funk, Hiccup (and sometimes Elsa) is the only people who can talk to her and get through to her without getting blown up at.

~They stim in similar ways!!! They both tend to fidget or kinda bounce up in down in place as a way to comfort themselves and calm themselves down (I see them both having a lot of anxiety and generally being kind of paranoid, although Anna is MUCH better at hiding this via putting on a cheerful face). They both do the leg bounce!!! Also if they get SUPER excited they’ll do a little awkward happy dance!!! They both also tend to stim by rubbing things in small, repetitive motions--with Hiccup, it’s usually his sketching pens, his ear, his head, or the back of his neck, while with Anna, it’s usually her other hand, her arm, her clothes, or really anything with kind of a comforting, consistent texture (some favorites are rubber, felt, and velvet). After they start dating, they actually will stim with each other’s hands while holding hands--usually by squeezing the other person’s hand in kind of a repetitive pattern or doing the thumb-rub thing on the back of the other person’s hand. It’s not uncommon for them to each be doing something completely unrelated while holding hands and just stimming on each other’s hands the entire time. Anna especially really loves when she feels Hiccup stimming on her, because it’s her little indicator that he’s happy and feels at peace and content in her presence and she LOVES being able to do that for him!

~They both stim by playing with hair too! Anna likes to play with her own to stim--mainly by figeting with the end of her braids or tucking hair behind her ear. She DOES love to ruffle Hiccup’s hair too (and she LOVES how fluffy it is!), but it’s usually not a stim thing. After they start dating, Anna does occasionally stim by massaging Hiccup’s hair/scalp, but she doesn’t usually do it for very long. Hiccup really loves braiding Anna’s hair, or just playing with it when it’s down. it helps him relax and clear his mind to have something fairly repetitive and/or mindless to do.

~Even after gaining some confidence, Hiccup still has a fair bit of social anxiety, so he and Anna basically always go to parties and social events together and stick with each other the whole time to make it less intimidating for him. Hiccup generally prefers to let Anna do the talking when they chat with people, and sometimes if he’s REALLY nervous he’ll sometimes even let her kinda talk for him (not in a condescending “speaking over” kinda way, but more in like a “I can sense you’re not comfortable speaking here so I’ll help you out as best I can” kinda way). She always makes sure to leave space in the conversation for him to take over talking if he wants. She’s also incredibly prone to bragging about his accomplishments to basically everyone they know. Hiccup is both embarrassed and flattered by this.

~When Anna finds out about meltdowns (probably through Hiccup mentioning it kind of offhandedly--“Eh, sorry I went AWOL last night, I was having a bit of a meltdown. Don’t worry about it, I’m fine now.”) she lowkey gets super anxious and frustrated because she REALLY wants to help, but has no idea how. Cue literal HOURS of research on the internet and AGGRESSIVE memorizing of any and all tips that she reads that she thinks would help. Which, of course, means several MORE hours spent going over flashcards like she’s studying for a goddamn test, because Anna has never been known for her sharp, expansive memory.

~The first time Hiccup ever has a meltdown in front of her (maybe after a really bad phone fight with his dad or something? Just general sensory overload?), she takes him to a secluded room and IMMEDIATELY gets rid of anything that could be agitating sensory-wise. She dims the lights! She closes the blinds! She throws a nearby clock, an alarm, a timer, and several other objects with only the slightest potential of making an annoying noise out of a nearby window in a fit of passion! She goes on a frenzied quest to find Hiccup’s noise-cancelling headphones--and finishes it in record time! Even in a state of emotional turmoil, Hiccup realizes that Anna’s being just a little too methodical in how she goes about all this--these are the kind of things that wouldn’t ever occur naturally to her to do. So as soon as he calms down a bit and has screamed into a pillow for a while, he’s like “...did you go on the internet to look up how to help with meltdowns?” and Anna’s like “...yes?” And Hiccup is lowkey so touched he starts crying all over again...and then, naturally, makes a long string of snarky comments to try and distract from it XD

~For their anniversary Anna saves up a bunch and buys Hiccup a lizard and a terrarium!!! She gets him a crocodile skink because, I quote, “Well, they always look annoyed, they’re kinda shy, they don’t like to be touched, and they look like tiny dragons, so they reminded me of you!!!” Hiccup screams like a goddamn fangirl, he’s SO excited. As luck would have it, Hiccup’s crocodile skink is a lot less skittish and prone to hiding than they usually are, and he actually lets Hiccup pick him up and pet him without much issue. Which is honestly great, because repeatedly touching something smooth and even like lizard scales helps calm Hiccup down when he’s agitated and helps with some of his sensory issues.

~Probably goes without saying, but Hiccup basically NEVER genuinely gives Anna a hard time about her memory problems or how she’s not always the quickest on the uptake, and if anyone tries to call her annoying, dumb, or immature he will absolutely roast them into oblivion. He does sometimes like...lightly tease her about jumping into things without thinking or never shutting up, but he never pushes it if he can tell she’s genuinely bothered by it (and, again, Anna is very easy to read, so it’s not hard to tell XD)

~I’ve seen other people in the fandom HC either Hiccup, Anna, or both of them as BOTH autistic and ADHD, and honestly...fuck yes!!! I’m down for this too! I love the idea of these two disaster ND kids just vibing with each other on so many damn levels that it’s like...incomprehensible to the average human XD Like man, they fuckin GET each other!!! I’m pretty happy with most combinations of ADHD + Autistic headcanons for Anna and Hiccup, so long as they end up vibing!!!

~THEY JUST. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. SO MUCH. THEY LITERALLY WOULD DIE FOR EACH OTHER. I AM SURE OF IT. I’M CRYING. 

#hiccanna #hiccup x anna #anna x hiccup #hiccup #anna #hiccupxanna #annaxhiccup #autistic hiccup #adhd anna #headcanons #hcs #httyd #frozen #crossover #rotbtd #rotbtfd #hiccup haddock #princess anna