#as someone who cannot believe in themselves even though they desperately try to

[spitdrunken]

notes: Valentino being Valentino (AKA horrible), abusive ‘relationship’, manipulation/lovebombing, uneven power dynamics, loss of agency, heavily dubious consent + implied noncon, physical abuse. Essentially details the progression of how Valentino might go about pimping someone out. He's really not nice in this, be warned!

The issue with Valentino is that, when he wants to be, he can be very charming. No one wants to sell to a person who slaps them around from the very first day, right? To Valentino, first interactions are an art he has perfected and, while he cannot see very well, he does have an eye for the pathetic, and desperate. From the very way someone carries themselves, and how they speak, he can tell who would be the easiest. To discover amongst these people a few so-called ‘diamonds in the rough’, and have them bend to his every desire, is the part of his job that he takes the greatest satisfaction out of.

Perhaps you are new in Hell, the finer details of the realm entirely lost on you, unaware of Valentino’s reputation. Or you truly have nowhere else to turn to, and you decide to take your chances, the idea of fame, money and, most of all, a bit of certainty, is too appealing. Maybe you’re aware of both his reputation, and exactly aware of what kind of guy he is, and you are chasing the kind of relationships you had while alive. Living here has affirmed all of your worst beliefs about people. To be with someone who is certain to hurt you, is easier, more familiar, than someone who might… And, hey, if he’s rich, that helps too, right?

Regardless of your circumstances, Valentino would know how to make you feel special. Hell is violent, unpredictable, and truly lives up to that. Time spent with Valentino in the lavish, beautiful places he hangs out in, almost makes you feel like you aren’t in Hell at all. Sure, maybe he’s a little strict about the kind of clothes you wear, but he’s always so full of praise when you do listen. The gifts he gives are perhaps a little gaudy, but all of them are incredibly expensive, and it includes a phone of the newest series. He tells you so that it’s so you never have to leave him hanging again! And while he laughs at it like it’s a joke, and you do too, it’s the first time something in his expression truly makes you feel uncomfortable.

And wouldn’t it feel good, wouldn’t it make you feel powerful, to have a man who is so famous and powerful, who could practically have anyone, to have set his eyes upon you? While almost anyone would be a little suspicious at first, with time, perhaps you begin to believe him. Maybe you really are special, maybe the rumours about him are true, or maybe they’re not, but they don’t apply to you. You’re the exception. You- You have to be. Otherwise, what’s going to happen to you? You try not to think about it too hard, try to ignore all the talk about him that never stops going around. On social media, the stuff said about him is mostly positive. …Any negative comments you see about the Vees in general, disappear faster than you can blink.

All the while, you’re unaware of the mixture of pity and envy the other demons working for him look at you with. Oh, how they wish they could still believe there was anything good about the demon you’re standing next to. If only they still had hope for a better future. They know exactly what is going on, but even if some might want to give you a warning sign, the punishment that would be dished out for it far outweighs anything else.

You don’t see any of his employees often though, not in this stage, nor the next. Valentino prefers to keep his whores from fraternizing with each other. From his own personal experiences, his early days of being in this business, there is nothing that builds bonds between people like a common ‘enemy’ like him. He wants all of you isolated, and most miserable you can be, in all honesty.

It is exactly the moment that you start feeling a bit more secure about things, that the cracks start to show. He’ll start pressuring you into doing a shoot for Velvette. Those gifts you got you were reaaaally expensive, baby, you know that, right? You kind of owe it to him, is what he tells you. Some pictures might seem harmless enough, but once you’ve given him an inch, Valentino will never fail to take a mile. His requests become more and more pressing, his demands more and more explicit, until any ‘affection’ left in his tone has long since gone cold.

After that, you’re essentially just treated like the rest of his whores, and the exact same treatment. He’s cut you off from any support system you had left, has you living in a company-owned building and, possibly, has you under contract. Where the hell else are you supposed to go? You’d live on the streets if you were to leave now, completely to the mercy of whatever demon might stumble upon you. Now that you've featured in a couple of Valentino's films, it's safe to say that the fame you once might have desired, now becomes one of your biggest burdens. ...You know exactly what people will do to you, given the chance.

If you bring up the kind of things he used to say to you, about how special and important you were, he’d actually laugh at you right in your face. What the fuck? You can’t be serious. You actually believed all of that bullshit? Regardless of your response, it’s likely to make his temper flare, resulting in a punch to the face that knocks you backward a good couple of feet. I’ve got bitches begging to be touched by me, to even be looked at by me. You ungrateful whore.

Unfortunately for you, practically anyone who gets too closely involved with Valentino meets the same fate.

#valentino x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #valentino #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel valentino x reader #cha.valentino #cw.noncon #cw.dubcon

[blackscaara]

I'm not completely sure how I'm going to get this all organized properly from the stuff that comes out of my brain, but I'm going to try my best- bear with me. 

To me, and I know for a lot of other people, Aziraphale is perfectly representative of the experience of religious trauma. For those of you who don't know what that's like, I'm here to explain, based on my own experiences. 

For a lot of people suffering from religious trauma, our experiences start when we're very young, we are raised inside the church. As a child inside the church, you are heavily taught to respect your elders and to never question authority (sound familiar?) For me, I was really good at listening to and believing the things my family and the other adults in my life would tell me. 

Along with the concept that children in church are heavily advised to listen and obey, we are also raised to be completely dependent on God and the church's teachings, nothing is more important than withholding our relationship with God and obeying the word of the Bible. (Also sound familiar?) 

We are raised being constantly reminded of and told to follow these rules, and we do, why? Because we will burn for all eternity in Hell if we don't. Imagine an adult sitting in a room telling a group of six year olds that if they don't listen to a book, they will suffer eternally. This is how we were roped into living this life so obediently- they scared us to submission. 

You can see this in heaven, telling the angels to always be obedient and follow God's lead, and having the fallen used as a weapon to scare remaining angels into submission. They have been taught this since the very beginning, to always follow God, and to never ask questions. And the angels now? They've seen what happens to those who ask questions. 

Aziraphale was always a good and obedient angel, just like the rest of them after the fall. He believed and followed everything he was taught because it was a he ever knew, and he witnessed what the punishment would be like for him if he didn't. Children of the church are the same. 

He believes these things so deeply, and trusts so much in God that even the being he loves most, Crowley, can't get in the way of that. No amount of temptation or abuse could get him to truly realize that everything he once knew is not really as it seems. Because it is the only thing he knows, I cannot preface that enough, it's all he knows. 

It's all I ever knew when I was growing up, all I never knew was obedience under the Lord and I will forever be loved, and that's a big thing for people, being loved; and in this, it's big for our little angel too. He's desperate to be loved and he's working for it in the only way he knows. 

And we do see Crowley throughout s1 and 2 tempting Aziraphale and making him do things that heaven would not particularly like, but so far, Aziraphale is not at a point where he can truly realize what is being done to him. 

The church, and heaven, manipulates us, and like I said before, it's all we've ever known, and learning that we were raised unjustly in a manipulative and abusive environment that made themselves seem so warm and loving is a shocking thing for us. But isn't that what abuse is? 

Aziraphale has been abused and manipulated for over 6000 years, and if you know anything about abuse, especially associated with one's childhood, it is really hard for someone to accept that someone they love, and believed they were loved by, is abusing and manipulating them. 

That's it, that's what Aziraphale is doing. Even after I realized all the hurt my family put me through in the name of God I still kept running back to them, I still kept defending them, and I still kept telling people it was all ok, even though it hurt so much to do. Because it is all I knew. It was the only place I felt truly loved, even if it was all a lie. 

That's the relationship Aziraphale has with heaven, he's not abandoning Crowley, he just hasn't fully understood the full story of how much Heaven has truly hurt him. Crowley sees it, witnesses it, was victim to it and he tries to tell Aziraphale that, but Aziraphale is still blinded by the way he has lived for 6000 years. 

I lost people I loved in my life because of the blind obedience I was raised with, Aziraphale is losing Crowley because of that, and I can never ever be mad at him because I know what that's like, I see it, I experienced it, and it's ultimately the thing that brought me to tears the most. 

Even to this day I still find myself defending my family for the things they did to me, even now knowing how wrong it was, don't be mad at him, really, it's not his fault. 

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #anthony j crowley #good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #goodomens #go season 2 #aziracrow #aziraphale x crowley #neil gaiman #religious trauma #church #childhood trauma #trauma #mental health

[kraken-o-doyle]

My delulu brain gives you an assessment of the characters of Blades. Fair warning it's a lot 😂 Enjoy.

Nia, obviously her backstory is literally being snatched up and taught how to use her light from literal birth is controversial to say less. And after joining our party, she began seeing all the things wrong with what she was conditioned to believe - and dear god that would fuick up a person (depends on the matter). Even a year later Nia is struggling with the fact that she is still the shadow creature and I think losing MC made her stronger and less shy, but at the same time yours truly believes she cannot trust anyone - it was only revealed to MC that she is still struggling with the aftermath of Dreadlord dying and turns into this creature when she is in danger BY ACCIDENT OR SHEER DUMB LUCK.(PLOT DEMANDS IT) why is MC still covering for her?????

Imtura at first was literally denying the fact that MC was even alive and to be fair, she is the last person to be recruited into the team in book 1, but in my humble opinion it's evident that Imtura and MC(moi mc)relate more to one another than any other character. And her not making too many friends due to being a ✨princess✨is such BS but you know (I would be more than grateful to be in a princess' corner as a good friend) and as stated in book 1, we weren't told she was a princess because she's a captain of a ship and that way she could keep others' respect before they literally fall over themselves to please her. And when our little party didn't treat her any different before and after knowing who she was, she opened up...

Circling back to Imtura believing MC to be dead; if I was in her position and a friend that I saved the world with just 💨, I would too think they're gone since the other implications are that they are being tortured in a dungeon and bled dry by an empress' daughter. 😳

Mal, sigh, he is just wracked with guilt from losing MC, I kid you not I feel like he made some deals to try and find MC; only for someone like Tyril to find out and absolutely berate him (which is why Tyril in the newest chapter called him reckless). I'm sure there is gonna be more reckless behaviour that Mal had done through the year for both characters to use their first names. And got his stupid ass corrupted by shadow - whether or not he knows if he's infested and becoming a Thrall for the Ash Empire... we'll have to wait and see.

Tyril, from what we know so far tried from beginning to end to find MC (to be honest from what we were told Nia and Mal helped a lot until they stopped? why though - correct me if I am wrong.) even if you are romantically involved or just platonic friends, he literally sees you as an equal and is equally happy to see you back in the land of the living. Him grovelling and desperately trying to find answers on how to find MC shows what type of person he is, but I'm sure he is keeping some feelings or all of them back due to just being happy to have MC back in his life. (And doesn't want to burden MC with his problems)

Aerin better come back because whether or not I missed his jabs at the group and him only having eyes for MC(s phone, do you have some games). But genuinely what did he give the group (only heartache), because if you didn't catch him in book 1 he literally comes in one chapter - takes a stab at MC's celibacy - leaves the next. Where the hell did you crawl off to Aerin, did you go off to finish off someone?the king. Jesus, imagine. Or even worse he won't come back this book...

WILL WE GET KADE, LOOLA AND THREEP THIS BOOK BECAUSE ITS DIFFICULT WITHOUT THEM. I miss them a lot, also definitely not catching up with Kade like we should've; imagine if MC dies and the rest of the group (after saving the world and whatnot) comes back with her corpse with a note attached - sorry. 😐

I would scream if we have a therapy session with some certain characters - say certain someones we haven't seen in the WHOLE BOOK. Very disappointed in that department. Because from where I am sitting we NEED YEARS WORTH OF THERAPY.

#mal volari #imtura tal kaelen #nia ellarious #tyril starfury #aerin valleros #why am i like this #i overthink too much #hopefully we dont see anyone die horrifically or we dont at the very least #blades of light and shadow #choices #choices stories you play #choices bolas #playchoices #how much is it too many tags?

[heliads]

'confessions of a judas right before the kiss' - teresa agnes

Teresa knows what must be done for the Cure, for the world. Thomas doesn't understand. Maybe he will, maybe he won't, but Teresa won't waste any more time trying to convince him.

masterlist

Unlike anyone else, Teresa knows how this will end. Unlike anyone else, Teresa knows that it will end right. She doesn’t understand how everyone else is so blind and so full of themselves to think that the lives of a dozen teenagers are worth the world, but Teresa can see past her own self importance to realize what she has to do. She’s always had a gift for logic and pure reasoning. Maybe that comes from seeing firsthand what the Flare does to people she cares about. Maybe that comes from remembering.

Many boys and many girls have lost their memories in the course of the WCKD experiments. Teresa, however, kept all of her memories safe and secure in her brain, where they will remain along with her good grace, her common sense, and her knowledge of a simple, age-old adage:  WCKD is good. It always has been. It always will be.

For once, though, she’s alone in that belief. Out here, at least. How is it that only a short time ago, hardly even a matter of months let alone a couple of years, Teresa had Thomas right by her side? He’s still there now, of course, but a wedge has been driven between them. Thomas doesn’t get it anymore. He can’t see the forest for the trees, and he cannot understand that there is a grander mission at play than just the wellbeing of a handful of teenagers.

They can call her insane, or violent, or a traitor. It’s fine. Teresa is no stranger to name-calling. However, when Thomas and his friends talk about how they can’t believe WCKD would do this to them– them, just a few people really, hardly more than a couple dozen– Teresa remembers the hundreds of thousands of teenagers out there in the world right now, either currently having their minds ripped to pieces by the Flare virus or lying in terrified wait for such a fate to befall them.

Teresa has always been good at seeing the bigger picture. They used to say that’s what made her so good, so special, so perfect for the WCKD project. Really, it was because she was both immune to the virus and desperate enough to do anything to cure it, but the sentiment was appreciated. Teresa is a good student, and a good student always obeys orders.

Including, at the moment, the order to turn in Thomas and everyone else currently clustered around the campfire. She can see them now, laughing at each other, running their hands through the bright sparks that have escaped to the air. They’re happy. Good. They all deserve happiness, even for only a short time. Even Teresa, who is about to betray all of them.

She doesn’t know what Thomas will say when he finds out. She can picture it already, the slow crumple of his face like tissue paper in her hands. The light will drain from his eyes, and there will be no more pleased spark behind his irises when he sees her face. It’ll hurt him, obviously, but it will hurt Teresa far more, because unlike Thomas, she remembers what it was like when he still cared about the cause.

They’ll give him back his memories once all of the Gladers are returned to WCKD headquarters. Maybe then he’ll thank her for it, for correcting his course. Or maybe, at a bare minimum, he’ll stop hating her. Teresa will settle for that. There is nothing that can stop her from doing the right thing, but it’s always easier when you have someone by your side. That was Thomas for a while. It isn’t him anymore.

She doesn’t understand why he doesn’t believe in it any longer, truly, but she’s got time to experiment with that. The returned memories will help, probably. Hopefully. WCKD promises they will, but WCKD promises a lot. Most of the time, it’s Teresa’s problem to make sure the promises come to fruition. Usually, they do, but then sometimes Thomas loses his memories and Teresa loses him and then nothing really makes sense anymore, not as it once had.

It’s no issue, though, not to her. If it was, she’s cured herself of it a long time ago. Part of the gift of foresight is the knowledge that what needs to be done must be done, and there is no way around it. So Teresa will betray her friends, if that is what it takes to save the world, and she will continually purge WCKD of the infected to ensure the organization stays alive, and she alone will enable them to find the cure. 

When they do get it– because they will, make no surprise of it, the cure to the Flare will come out because of Teresa, because Teresa was the one who never gave up. It won’t be a bad epitaph for her tombstone. It’s certainly a good mantra to keep in mind while she completes the difficult tasks in search of something better. All Teresa has to do is press one button, and WCKD will come. Easy. Simple. Alienating.

She’s already separated herself from the happy crowd down below, electing to veer closer to the rock face shadowing the bonfire so she can have some time to think. Sometimes, it feels like that’s all she can do:  think, plan, use her brain, but then again, that’s what she was designed to do. Teresa Agnes is a construct of a WCKD laboratory. If there was a girl before her, she only ever existed as proof that the old ways could not continue.

Because Teresa remembers it, doesn’t she? She remembers everything. No matter what she tells the others, no matter what she tells Thomas, Teresa remembers it all. Running. Screaming. There was a little girl once, a little girl who was alone and Immune, and she was rescued by kind people who fell to the Flare. She saw it happen as they gave her over to WCKD. Bright eyes clouded over by inescapable, incomprehensible rage. They could have escaped the virus a little longer if they hadn’t rescued her, probably, hid out in some back corner of the country where there were fewer Cranks, but they didn’t. Teresa was the priority.

That’s a true sacrifice. They risked their lives by sending her to WCKD instead of running because they believed in the possibility of a cure, a cure that could be brought about by a girl named Deedee who’s already forgotten what her mother’s laugh sounded like but does know what it feels like to run from days and nights, surrounded by immense darkness and the insane. That girl knows why the cure will always come first, even before herself, and by consequence Teresa will always know that too.

We all have to die so everyone else can live. This is the way the world works. No one likes to be the sacrificial lamb, but everyone loves to reap the rewards. Thomas and the others might not want to die, and heaven knows Teresa doesn’t either, not after everything, but all those who already succumbed to the Flare and will at some point in the future didn’t want to die, either. Which is a worse fate, to fall victim to your own mind or to be quickly and quietly put out of your misery knowing you’ll save the fate of humanity?

The choice is obvious. To her, at least. The other Gladers still think they can fight this one out; hell, they still think there’s something to fight. Teresa wants to tell them that she’s battling a bigger enemy than just Janson, she’s going up against the enormity of the Flare, but they don’t want to listen. They already don’t trust her. This will just exacerbate it.

It doesn’t matter, anyway. To the lab they were born, and to the lab they will be returned. This is how they save the world. This is why it’s worth it. Teresa did not want to watch her friends die. She certainly did not want to be the one pulling the trigger or holding the syringe, but no one gets an easy out just because they stopped liking the circumstances. Thomas helped her design the experiments in the first place. He understood the gravity of it all then, but if he doesn’t anymore, that’s not her fault.

Teresa has her thumb on the button to call WCKD to their location. Maybe the tracer was activated already, maybe they embedded one in her skin and it’s been sending them signals this whole time. They could have just given her the illusion of choice so they could introduce one more accursed variable into the experiment of Teresa Agnes. When they carve into her brain– if she’s the one they choose to use, of course– she wonders if they’ll see how much she grappled with this. She wonders if that’ll make for a better cure, knowing that she tried.

She has time, though, before she does it. One last glance. She can see her friends laughing by the fire, how the sparks illuminate bright grins and dazzling happiness. WCKD will come soon enough, blowing down retribution harsh enough to stamp out their fire and the last of their hopes, but for now, it’s good. Teresa can’t help but feel as if she has given them this, even if she will be the one to take it away. The small moments are worth far more than anyone imagines, anyway. She has several of her own.

She can’t quite find Thomas among the crowd, but that’s alright. He’s always difficult to track down anyway, too popular for his own good. Too many people need him, and Teresa is one of them. Her heart swells as she remembers a different time, when they had both been smaller and she, at least, had been no less fervent about the cause. Teresa shuts her eyes, reaches into her pocket, and activates the remote. WCKD is on their way now, if they weren’t already. Job done.

Small pebbles skitter loose on the path behind her. Teresa turns to see Thomas coming up behind her. Guiltily, she finds that she’s grateful to come face to face with him again, to have one last moment before he hates her completely.

He comes to a stop, leaning back against the rock face so he can stare at the wide sky stretching out before him. Thomas has always had this natural sense of wonder about him, this innate passion for the people and places he visits. It’s sort of like naivete, were it not for the fact that both of them have experienced far too much to ever be innocent. Teresa’s less good at it– appreciating the little things– but when she watches Thomas, she imagines that she might know what’s going through his head at least a little better than she did before.

Thomas tears his gaze from the bright spark of the campfire to look at her. “What are you doing up here?” He asks, voice casual. No suspicion yet. Just curiosity.

It’s a good trait to have, for a scientist, for someone chasing the cure. In just a short while, he’ll have his memories back, and then he’ll be hers again. Teresa looks back at him, and instead of answering, she just smiles. Thomas smiles back.

Outside, several miles away, engines roar across the desert, powering towards them. Nobody knows at all except for one girl, and she is very good at keeping secrets. The best of which she knows by heart, the one she wrote to the Gladers before she sent herself up into the Maze:  WCKD is good.

maze runner tag list: @blondsauduun, @ellobruv, @retvenkos, @neewtmas, @mxltifandom-imagines, @hiya-itsamber, @gods-fools-heroes, @hope92100, @23victoria, @w1shes43, @imwaysthelastchoice, @fadedver, @il0vebeingdelulu

all tags list: @wordsarelife

#teresa #teresa imagines #teresa oneshot #teresa agnes #teresa agnes imagines #teresa agnes oneshot #the maze runner #the maze runner imagines #the maze runner oneshot #tmr #tmr imagines #tmr oneshot #tmr teresa #tmr teresa imagines #tmr teresa oneshot

[bracketsoffear]

Clara/The Changeling (Pathologic) "Clara does not exist until the game begins. She takes on the role of a healer in this town with an emerging plague, but the first person she attempts to heal dies. She is told that someone who looks exactly like her is committing crimes in the town, so she has to actively work to maintain her reputation throughout the game, or else citizens will start to attack her in the street.

Though she does have healing abilities, the game purposefully misleads you on how they are used. She doesn't understand it any more than you do. She is also aware that she is a character in a video game, and knows that she cannot exist outside the framework of the game. Because Pathologic is about a town dying to the plague that you are trying your hardest to prevent, and then mitigate, and then destroy at any cost, Clara comes to believe that she is the cause of the plague. After all, she cannot exist in a world without one. She comes into being as the game begins, and will likely stop existing after it is over, as what more is there for her to do? Kill an already dead town? Save an already healed town?

Each character you can play as can choose their own ending, and hers involves asking people to sacrifice themselves to her routinely to keep the town alive. Even when you make the correct choices and try to heal the town, the plague is still a constant threat and will never truly go away, and Clara is indeed responsible for this looming threat, as her healing hands are the ones people are blindly following into a routine of self-sacrifice and reminder of the plague that almost destroyed their town. In a way, it is fully possible to interpret her character as the true source of the plague, and the game allows you to believe this. There isn't really anything to contradict it, after all."

Fur Beetles (The House) "A contractor (who happens to be a rat) throws his whole life and savings and loans into flipping a house hoping to earn himself a good life doing so, only to find out it's infested with a type of bug called a fur beetle, and their hairy, worm-like larva. He tries desperately to get them out and exterminate them so that he can sell this house, to no avail. Eventually, when he tries to show the house, two oddly bug-shaped rats show up and refuse to leave, obsessed with mold and chewing on fabric. And, eventually, they invite their whole giant family over as well. As he's despairing over this situation, fur beetles come out from his walls and ceiling, putting on a whole little song and dance number for him, just to taunt him.

He tries to chase them all out of his house with bug spray, only to make himself ill and sent to the hospital. The strange rats kindly pick him up and bring him home, where they and the rest of their family are throwing him a Welcome Home party, revealing that they're all strange beetle-rat hybrids, and they're not going anywhere. Soon, the house becomes a compete trashed pigsty, the beetle-rats devouring all the furniture, burrowing in the walls, and covering it all in filth. The contractor, still trapped there, loses it and seems to revert into a feral, animalistic rat, eating garbage and scurrying around in the house the beetles infested."

#corruption poll #the corruption #the magnus archives #poll #redemption bracket #pathologic #the house

[rhmis-user-2020]

How does Marcellus act towards Kiera and Catalina?

Marcellus knew the whole of Corona was having problems about becoming a victim of a crime spree. The royal guards struggle to find and capture the criminal responsible, having ex-thieves Eugene and Lance step in and use their expertise to do so, themselves. After successfully apprehending the two criminals responsible, Eugene and Lance present them before King Frederic and the Captain of the Guard. Both are shocked to see that the criminals are two children and contemplate how to punish them as they cannot imprison them. The king comes up with the idea to have Eugene and Lance take the two under their wings, and help them reform to become upstanding citizens. The girls are named Angry and Red shortly thereafter, and though Red quickly grows fond of Lance, Angry is resistant in trusting either, especially Eugene. Desperate, Eugene takes the girls to meet Rapunzel, believing she'll be able to change the two for the better, as he believes she did for him. Red quickly warms up to Rapunzel, even speaking for the first time. Though Angry silently rebukes Red's decision to let her guard down, she, too, slowly starts to enjoy the time spent with Rapunzel and her chameleon, Pascal. That night, Eugene and Angry have a serious talk about why being a thief is wrong. Angry starts to explain the situation between herself and Red that they don’t want to steal, they are just trying to run away from someone, but falls asleep before she can mention the Baron. After Eugene leaves, Angry wakes and gazes through the bedroom window into the cityscape. As she does so peacefully, she spots a familiar shadow creeping through the streets and returns inside fearfully. The next morning, Princess Rapunzel's tiara appears to be missing while Angry and Red are nowhere to be found. Thanks to Cassandra, Eugene and Lance are able to track them down, only to find that they've been captured by the Baron's men, led by Weasel. Eugene and Lance offer themselves in exchange for the girls' freedom, which Weasel accepts. The two then return to their hideout, where Angry hastily prepares to leave Corona. Red, however, believes they should return, as Eugene and Lance are the only people to have ever looked out for them. Though hesitant, Angry agrees, and they two rush back to assault Weasel and his goons, freeing Eugene and Lance in the process. Eugene then offers the girls a chance to end their lives as thieves, though they genuinely don't appear to be interested in doing so just yet. Eugene nevertheless promises to be there for them when they're ready. Back in Corona, Eugene and Lance are reprimanded by the Captain for allowing Angry and Red to leave free. Eugene also takes responsibility for their crimes, though the guards find that all the stolen riches, including Rapunzel's tiara, have been returned, much to the delight of King Frederic, who declares that Eugene has nothing to atone for. Also left behind was Red's flower, and after ensuring that the treasure was found by the guards, Angry and Red board a hay-wain leaving the kingdom, to continue their travels. The three met Marcellus when Marcus joined the trip with Rapunzel and her friends, and soon. Interacted with each other as Marcellus was still going through the Varian's villain arc. The three soon became friends and during Varian's redemption arc, the three shared some things with Marcellus more often than not became close with him even with Varian around them. Marcellus still wants to trust Varian after years but the villain arc of Varian is the problem that is unable to deal with, Marcellus isn't going to hate him just dislikes how he acted in the past when Varian was with them. He just wants to share some details about winemaking with them and Varian who is now going to be with them the whole time enjoys hearing him.

Kiera just huffily sighs at the fact Varian is still with them.

Marcellus offers her a reason to trust Varian cuz he is no longer the villain Varian from before and is not the same but at the same time, still isn't sure if Marcus can trust him yet again. As Kiera and Marcellus are sharing their beliefs on Varian. Yet, Catalina still is concerned about the boy with albinism and Varian's downfall and difficult relationship after the events of Varian's villainy.

Varian is still trying to act like how he was before his villainy.

But Marcellus will give him a nervous smile and shrug it off, pretending to just not worry too much about someone's past cuz he once saw it in the past. Catalina reassures Varian that he would have to take time to trust him again, and Varian just accepts it as Marcellus needs some time to get used to him.

#rapunzel's tangled adventure #tangled #tangled the series #rta oc #tts oc #tangled the series oc #rapunzel's tangled adventure oc #vat7k oc #original character #fan character #marcellus #albinism #albino #marcellus rosewood #tts kiera #tts catalina #tts varian #varian #varian the alchemist #rta varian #vat7k varian #varian and the 7 kingdoms #varian and the seven kingdoms #tw trust issues #tw truama #light angst #infodump

[dc418writes]

•|Gratuity(4)|•

✨Pairing✨: mob!Ari LevinsonxBlack Reader

Summary🪄: It’s time for Ari to come clean

⚠️: I’d say a good amount of angst in this one, allusions to violence, violence (man-man), mention of blood, brief mention of death, fluffy moments mentioned throughout as usual, attempted assault, harassment, a couple bad language words, reader not being the best communicator, Ari because that man is always a warning

A/N🎙: all translations provided by google, so I apologize if they’re inaccurate (hopefully they’re right though)

“Well look who it is finally home from her date,” Tyla smirks hearing you enter the studio apartment as she poured a cup of coffee. You’d think she was a barista with her own shop the way she expertly mixed the espresso shot, creamer, and caramel to create her usual order.

“Could care less about that clock strike at midnight huh Cinderella?”

Her grin quickly falls turning to see your distressed eyes staring off into space while your thumb nervously tapped against the wooden counter. The last time she saw you this way was freshman year. You were just cordial roommates at the time, but at your sobs from the bathroom floor—paranoid that even though you used a condom, were on birth control, and your fling pulled out, you were somehow pregnant—she was immediately by your side telling you how it would be okay. From then on, you both naturally stuck together looking out for the other.

“What happened?,” she asks hurriedly moving to wrap her arms around you in a much needed hug. “You said you were having fun when you checked in.”

“I was, but-,”

“Did he get rough with you?! I swear to God and all the apostles if he-!”

“No, no he’d never.” At least you hoped. You weren’t quite sure what you could definitively say about Ari anymore.

“Then what’s wrong?,” she asks gently rubbing your back. Leaning against the small counter, you can’t fight the tears desperately wanting to fall or the lump in your throat trying to save you the embarrassment and shame. Not that you should feel that way around Tyla, you knew she’d never judge you.

But all her support couldn’t silence the voice in your own head.

“I….I think he’s married,” you finally reveal causing her mouth to slightly gape.

“Are you serious?! What happened? How’d you find out?”

“I overheard him talking on the phone and he was apologizing for not being able to call the night before, then he asked how his princess was and telling who I assume was his wife that he’d be there for her recital. That he wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Hm, anything else?”

“They just said I love you, then hung up.”

“And did you call him out on it?”

“No. I was honestly trying to get out after that, but he came back in and I was kinda stuck.” Sighing, you quickly wipe the stray tears rolling down your cheeks reliving the moment your heart shattered. “I feel so stupid! A-And then the fact that I slept with him-,”

“Hey you’re not stupid, okay?,” she states rubbing up and down your upper arms with an apologetic smile. “Some people are just…very deceptive and only care about themselves and their own happiness even if it’s at the cost of others. And please do not look at yourself as a bad person because you’re not. You were just the unfortunate pawn in someone’s twisted game, and believe me when I say they’ll be the one to pay for it.”

Thank God you gave her a key to your apartment. Coming back to silence where your thoughts and shame would just eat away at you, it might’ve been days before you went back out.

“Thanks Ty. And that wasn’t some foreshadow of how you’re gonna hunt this man down was it?”

“…For the sake of you not being an accessory so I can potentially have some help for bail, I cannot confirm or deny that,” you both laugh, holding each other tight in a warm embrace.

“Now you go ahead and shower, get comfortable so we can spend all day watching movies and eating every snack we can find.”

“That sounds great, but I can’t. You know I’m typically at the center for most of the day on Saturday’s.”

“You still wanna go today? Maybe it’d be best to call out.”

Taking a breath, you nod your head mustering the strength to give her a small smile. “Yea I’ll be fine. Plus it’ll be a good distraction.”

“Alright, if you’re sure, then we’ll have our movie marathon tonight when you get back.”

The trek to your bathroom is short but heavy feeling that thudding crack in your heart once again. As soon as the click of the door locking fills the quiet room, your silent tears move on their own down to the old graphic tee Ari was “nice” enough to let you wear rather than putting on your gown again. You began to wonder how many other women might’ve worn this same shirt walking around his impressive penthouse.

Or worse, if this was a favorite of his wife’s to wear thinking she was the only one lucky enough to have that privilege.

The longer you pondered, the sicker you felt as nausea climbed your throat and your stomach churned ultimately making it hard to stand in the sauna like shower.

-

It’s like he was just carrying a jacket over his shoulder how effortlessly Leo hoists the limp body from the floor, placing it’s arm over his boulder like shoulders. His other hand gripping it’s side as he stabilizes the body for an easier time walking.

“Where do you want him?”

“He can sleep it off in the back alley. Have cameras on him in case he gets any ideas when he wakes up,” Ari answers wiping the blood from his hands. With a curt nod, Leo leaves out the back double doors leading to the hidden hallways of the casino few had access to.

“Mr. Levinson, a Mr. Shiloh is here for you,” his secretary buzzes from the sleek black phone on his desk.

“Send him in.” Ari rolls his eyes hearing his best friend attempt, yet again, to flirt with the uninterested woman as he saunters into the modern office. “If it hasn’t happened by now, it never will Shi.”

His tattooed hand covers his heart feigning hurt settling into one of the cloth chairs sat in front of the dark, hardwood desk gleaming from the reflecting light. “And what has you brooding so today? Well, more so than usual.”

“I don’t brood,” Ari glares pouring himself and his guest a small glass of whiskey before settling into his own seat.

“Mhm sure. So, I take it the date didn’t go well?”

“Not that’s it’s any of your business, but no it was actually perfect. Saw the show, ate dinner. Went back to my place and talked some more. To me at least, everything seemed good.”

“Seemed?,” Shiloh asks lifting the glass to his full lips. There’s a soft hiss from Ari as the brown liquid runs down his throat leaving behind a dull burn. He takes a hand through the brunette hairs on his head feeling the frustration and confusion from earlier this morning return at the slight mention of you.

“This morning she was…off. Still nice, but kinda rushing to leave. I offered to drive her back home, but she insisted on an Uber instead saying how she didn’t wanna be a bother.”

“Hm..well we know she didn’t rob you since you still have your chain and watch. Then again, you check your wallet?”

“She wouldn’t do that,” Ari states with an icy glare. Offended on your behalf someone would dare accuse you of anything bad.

“I know, I know,” Shiloh holds up his hands amused at his friend’s lovestruck behavior this early on. “She’s a good girl. And how she voluntarily got mixed up with you I’ll never know.”

This earns him a much less threatening glare as Ari takes another drink from his glass.

“Does she know? About your uh, career that is?”

“No.”

“You sure?”

Sighing, he rests his head against the leather headrest peering at the ceiling. Truthfully, he couldn’t be sure. Who knows who you knew that might’ve known him through business, or even stories that passed from mouth to mouth eventually making their way to you?

“…I don’t know,” he finally answers.

“Maybe that’s it then? Or,” he shrugs, “she just needs some space. Why? Who knows, I’m sure it’s the more favorable reason for you though.”

Both taking a sip from their respective glass, Ari silently prayed you just needed space. Maybe you had regrets on being intimate so fast? Regrets about him even.

“Mr. Levinson? Your two o’clock is here. They’re currently waiting in the conference room,” his secretary calls bringing his thoughts back to business.

“Thank you, we’re coming.”

“I guess we’ll continue this later,” Shiloh sighs standing up to fix his tie.

“No, absolutely not.”

“Cmon I’m your friend man, you don’t have to be afraid to open up. It’s okay pumpkin,” he smiles patting a stiff Ari on the shoulder.

“You have two seconds to stop touching me.”

-

“Ugh, this is dumb!,” the boy next to you huffs tossing his pencil down on the workbook in front of him while the preschooler sitting to the right of you gasps immediately halting any further drawing.

“Das a bad word!”

“Is not. And why I gotta learn this anyway? I’m gonna be the biggest music producer in the world, I don’t need college.”

“Alright then Mario, so I take it you’ll handle all of your money?,” you ask rejoining little Ella and helping her finish her jellyfish coloring page.

“Psh no, I’m gonna be rich! I’ll just hire somebody to do that.”

“Mhm, and who’s gonna check behind them? To make sure they’re doing their job and getting their correct cut?,” you ask raising your brow.

“Um…m-my assistant?”

“And who’s gonna check them?”

“His mommy,” Ella grins making him glare at the pigtailed little girl and you nearly laugh as well.

“I get what you’re trying to say Ms. Y/N, okay? I’ll do my work just no more questions my brain hurts enough,” he sighs, reluctantly back to concentrating on his math assignment.

Your phone vibrating on the table cuts through the chatter of kids playing around you, but you refuse to look already having a clue of who it was. You’re honestly surprised he didn’t try to reach out to you sooner.

“Who’s Airy?,” Ella asks holding your phone up to your face.

“No one.”

“Is he your boyfwend?”

“He wishes,” Mario mumbles under his breath causing your mouth to slightly gape.

“Come again?”

“Um I…I said goldfishes! They’re handing out goldfish and juice and I’m gonna go get some,” he quickly answers before rushing out of his seat. His sneakers squeaking against the linoleum floor until he leaves the room.

“That boy,” Ella sighs with the shake of her head as if she was a disapproving parent.

“And what do you know about boyfriends missy?”

“My fwend Katelyn has one. They always nex to other,” she answers with a nod of her head. “You sit nex to Airy?”

“Listen, why don’t you take a break from coloring and go get some goldfish okay?”

Quickly hopping from her seat with a bright smile, she starts to run off before stopping in place and turning back towards you placing her small hands on your arm. “I get you some too.”

“Thank you, but remember to walk Ella!,” you shout behind her, but unsurprisingly she continues her hurried pace.

Now alone, you open your phone in search of Ari’s text feeling that lump form in your throat again. You knew you needed to talk to him about what you heard and why you were acting so distant, but you were also hesitant to reach out. Afraid he’d only manipulate and lie to you more.

Hey angel, hope you made it home alright. Worried about the way you left (sent 2:45 pm)

Fingers drumming against the oval desk, his knee anxiously bounces under the piece of dark wood furniture unknowingly to those around him. His expression was still calm, listening with steely eyes to some bar owner swearing he had too good a proposition for the family to decline. But his mind raged with the idea that you found out about his lifestyle and currently was trying to get as far away as you could.

And although it would hurt, he wouldn’t blame you.

I did…sorry had things to do and forgot to text (sent 3:00 pm)

And worried how? (sent 3:00 pm)

Was that a sign of guilt? Maybe he would confess after all.

You just seemed different compared to last night. If I did something to scare you off maybe, I swear I didn’t mean to. I’d never try to (sent 3:02 pm)

It was too late.

You sit back in your seat, eyes misting but refusing to let anymore of your tears fall. At least not now.

This was really nothing but a game to him. He saw a struggling, naive waitress and said all the right things until she was dumb enough to take his bait.

How could you not see the red flags and warnings? Then again, maybe you were just that blind.

We could talk about it over dinner? Breakfast? Whichever you want (sent 3:05 pm)

I’d love to see you again (sent 3:06 pm)

-

“So, whataya thinking nipote (nephew)? This deal that irresistible?,” his uncle asks rolling up his sleeves before pouring himself a glass of whiskey. Ari just continues to stare out the wall of glass peering out to the rest of the city and it’s gloomy sky. Legs spread as he gently twists back and forth in the leather armchair and occasionally scratches his beard with the hand propped under his chin.

“Ari,” he calls once watching his nephew still in his trance like state. “Cucciolo (puppy).”

“Si zio (Yes uncle),” Ari finally answers rubbing a hand over his face as if trying to wake up and rejoin reality.

“Dove sei (Where are you), ah? We got business to take care of.”

“I’m here,” he answers sitting up a bit straighter. “Taking over that bar sounds nice, but I’m not-,”

“It’s her…isn’t it?”

“Her who?” His uncle deeply chuckles leaning back in his chair with hands clasped across his abdomen.

“Chi (Who)…the girl that’s running a marathon in your mind and taking your heart for a spin too. You brought her to the party no?” Ari only looks down at his fingers tapping against the glossy wood.

“Dark, curly hair. Brown eyes. Bellissima (gorgeous). If only I were younger-,”

“Abbastanza (enough), yea?,” Ari states. That possessive look in his eyes pleasantly surprising his uncle as his smile widens.

“You’re wrapped around her finger as tight as can be! I expect to be meeting her soon then?”

“…I honestly don’t know zio.” It was tough for him to open up about things like this, but he knew he could always come to his uncle.

The man raised him as his own. Giving him his first ever advice on love when he was merely seven crushing on a girl in the grade above him.

“Above everything, always listen cucciolo. Be there for her. Spoiling is nice, but material things can’t compare to truly giving someone your heart and time. Capire (understand)?”

He wasn’t wrong then, and he’d never been steered wrong since.

“Things aren’t the best right now…and I dunno what to do,” he explains combing his hand through his hair. “I wanna make it right though.”

“Have you talked to her?”

“I tried. She isn’t talking to me.”

“Well, thinking back did you possibly do or say anything?”

“Not that I know of,” he answers with a shrug. “…I think she might know about my actual job. Maybe even the family too.”

Sighing, his uncle finishes the rest of his drink before refilling his glass and pouring a separate one for Ari. “If that’s the case….then I don’t know if there’s anything I can tell you to make it better. I warned you about what comes with this life.”

When he was still just a baby, Ari’s mother told her brother how she didn’t want him in the family business. He knew he couldn’t promise Ari would never be a part of this life though. At some point, his nephew would make his own decisions no matter what he told him. So anytime Ari would ask about his uncle’s dealings—when he became old enough to comprehend what was going on that is—he was honest. He didn’t shy away from telling what could happen if a deal went wrong, or what would take place at the “visit” he and his team were making to a client that owed him money. How he had to watch his back at all times and constantly worried about his family. He could only hope he wasn’t fascinated enough to follow in his footsteps.

“I know and don’t want her in any part of this..but also-,”

“You can’t ignore your feelings,” his uncle finishes with a slight nod of his head. “Well, if she’s that important to you, then you fight for her until one of you raises the white flag nipote.”

-

It’s going on two weeks since Ari heard anything from you. He tried texting once again the day after your initial talk, but it’s since remained unread.

Good morning…I get it, you need space. I’ll be here if you want to talk (sent 7:05 am)

He knew better than to stop by the restaurant, but that didn’t stop you from switching your hours to the night shift trying to further avoid him in the event he changed his mind. And so far it was working. Allowing you to slowly get his face, his smell, and his touch from your mind the further you buried yourself in work and the community center.

As always, it seemed as of late, nothing good could last forever though.

“Sorry we’re closed,” you call over your shoulder hearing the ding of the front door opening and closing. Not hearing a second ding or anything from the stranger prompts you to halt your sweeping, turning around to find a pistol aimed shakily at your forehead.

“G-Gimmie all the money,” he sniffs. Wiping his nose with the back of his hand before scratching the side of his grimy neck.

“I-It’s already gone. The manager-,”

“Bullshit! Give it now or I shoot!”

“I promise there’s nothing! M-My manager already counted it a-and took it to the bank I swear,” you quickly answer. Your voice unsteady with the tears falling down your cheeks. Mascara surely staining your skin black by now.

He frustratedly bounces using the edge of the gun to scratch his temple as he looks around in thought mumbling something to himself. You wish you could run, but your legs are planted fearful that even taking a step would have a bullet racing towards you.

“Fine,” he finally answers with a demented grin on his thin, cracked lips that makes your stomach churn. “I’m leavin’ with something though sweetheart.” His footsteps grow closer until you can smell the must and smoke from his baggy clothes as he presses against you only making your cries harder. Forcefully grabbing your chin, your pouted lips spur him to lick his own with a smirk.

“Aw…I would say don’t cry, but you just look so pretty when you do.”

“Please,” you manage to squeak feeling his nose press against your neck before inhaling your perfume deep as he could as if it was his first time experiencing any sort of smell.

A high pitched whistle followed by a click has the stranger frozen himself at the cold metal pressed to the back of his head. His sweating becoming more profuse by the second. “I’ll give you two minutes to let her go.”

On good terms or not, the familiar voice has your sobs quieting to soft hiccups now knowing you were safe.

He slowly backs away from you enough that Ari can grab your wrist pulling you behind him all the while still aiming his own handgun at the stranger’s head. From his height and muscular build he completely shields you as your chest presses against his back and his cologne wafts around you.

“You okay?,” he asks slightly turning his head towards you with eyes still trained on his target. You can only muster a nod of your head wrapping your arms around your middle.

“L-Listen alright? I-I just need a few bucks man that’s it. Cmon-,”

This only angers Ari more with how quick he’s twisting the slender man’s arm behind his back and smashing his face into the bar with a disgustingly loud crack. Crying out in pain, his gun falls to the ground between his feet making Ari smirk.

“Huh you know what? I’d say you’re the one who looks pretty when you cry,” he states pressing the gun uncomfortably into the man’s cheek.

“Let me go!”

“Come anywhere near here, my girl, hell, if I even see you in the street, you’re dead. Hear me?!”

“Y-Yea! Got it.”

“Mm..I don’t think you do. Maybe I should just-,”

“Ari,” you call out stopping him from further pulling the trigger. “Police.”

Only seeing red, he failed to hear the approaching sirens or see the flashing red and blue lights illuminating the inside of the restaurant.

“Gun down Levinson,” a middle aged officer announces entering in along with two other cops with their guns drawn. They immediately rush towards the stranger pulling Ari off so they can properly arrest him. “Druggie’s not worth the court date. Go check on your friend, we’ll take care of everything else.”

His expression softens watching you get questioned by a younger officer. How you looked so small and broken holding yourself; occasionally gliding your hand up and down your upper arm. Somewhat calmed down, he returns his gun to the waistband of his pants thanking the Sergeant before his legs carry him to meet you on the other side of the room.

“Hey, she okay?”

“Yep, maybe just some bruising on the cheeks later but physically she’s good,” the young officer softly smiles. “It is common for victims to experience PTSD like symptoms for a while after though, so I don’t think she needs to be alone tonight.”

He wishes he would’ve just pulled the trigger. Whoever that was shouldn’t be breathing let alone able to walk out this building after what he did to you, and how that would potentially affect you for the rest of your life.

“She told me her car is currently in the shop, so rather than run the risk we’re gonna have someone take her home and make sure she gets in okay.”

“That’s alright, I’ll take care of it.” Ari’s careful when approaching you. Flashing you a sympathetic smile before slowly kneeling beside you and reaching out to place his hand on top of yours. When you don’t flinch or pull your hand away, his entire chest warms that maybe things were back to how they were. “Hey angel, I’m gonna take you home okay?”

“But…I thought I have to wait for the manager and owner? To tell them what happened..”

“Well, the cops already made the incident report so you don’t have to. If you just wanna wait though, then we can. You tell me.”

“Oh, then…c-can I go home? Please?”

“Of course, let’s go beautiful.”

-

Somewhere between the cool air of the car’s AC hitting your face and staring out the passenger window at the passing lights and buildings you were reminded how you were supposed to be mad at the man currently driving you home. All those emotions from overhearing his conversation coming back to your calmed mind to tell you not to fall for his sweet words and charm.

“T-Thanks for bringing me home,”you state switching on the lights after finally making it inside your quiet apartment. This was Ari’s first time seeing what lied beyond your front door, so naturally he tried to take in as much of his surroundings as he could.

Your little studio was cozy with bits of color here and there bringing a brightness that matched your personality. The few plants you had by the windows, either hanging or on their own stand, were blooming with life from their hanging leaves and bright green color. There was even a small reading nook in the corner with a large, yellow, smiley face beanbag sat in front of your shelf of books that immediately made him smile to himself. Everything he saw matched you so well and he found himself never wanting to leave.

“You know you don’t have to thank me,” he dismisses. “I’m here whenever you need me.”

Could his family say the same?

“I-I know.”

“Are you gonna be okay tonight? The officer mentioned-”

“I know, I was there. I’ll be fine.” Your newly short tone catches him off guard sending that ache from all those days without a word from you back to his heart. His disheartened mood might not have easily been read by his features, but the way he peered down to his keys in his hands leaning against your counter had a twinge of guilt creeping in your chest.

“Right…I uh, guess I’ll check on you tomorrow then.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” you state protectively crossing your arms in front of you.

“Angel-,”

“Stop calling me that!,” you snap making his forehead crease with concern at your fresh tears and raised voice. “You’ve lied to me this whole time.”

He knew this would come eventually. The selfish part of him hoped much later though, wanting to delay having to see the clear disappointment that would be in your eyes. Sighing, his arms flex under his light blue button up as he grips the edge of the counter behind him.

“And how could you do that to your family? They love you so much, and that’s how you repay them?!”

Now he was confused, slightly tilting his head in thought. Clearly he was missing a detail or two.

“Wha…what are you talking about?”

“I overheard you on the phone that morning after our date,” you explain beginning to pace back and forth. “I know about your wife and princess.”

The deep chuckle that bellows from his chest, making him lean forward and hair fall to his face, is one of relief that this was all just a big misunderstanding.

Clearly this was unknown to you, so his seemingly joyous outburst only makes you more frustrated and annoyed with the man in front of you.

“You’re unbelievable,” you scoff heading towards the door. His strong hand gently grips your elbow for a brief moment trying to coax you back before quickly dropping them to his sides. He could admit, he should’ve known better than to try to touch you right now.

“I know you’re more than likely not gonna believe a thing I say, but I promise you I’m not, nor have I ever been married. I…I do have a daughter though. Her name’s Ariane, but I call her Princess.”

Removing his phone from his pocket, there’s a few taps before you’re shown a smiling little girl on his screen. Long brown hair in a braided ponytail and ocean-like eyes, anyone could tell she was Ari’s. The only thing stopping the two from being complete twins was her button nose, which you assumed came from her mother.

“You heard me talking to her grandmother. She’s kept her since she was around one so I could try to grow my business and get to a place where I can keep her for good.” The next picture shows a curvy, older woman with long salt and pepper hairs styled in a messy bun on the top of her head. Smiling as she held her equally happy granddaughter on the slide, a small one forms on your lips as well at how adorable they both were.

“And her mother?,” you ask in a whisper peering up to his eyes.

“She uh…she passed giving birth,” he answers . His face falling as he recalls the nurse rushing him out the room ignoring his protests and questions as the monitors beeped and everyone frantically worked over her struggling body. He hadn’t even gotten to hold Ariane before she was taken away with little lungs calling out for the both of them. “There was a blood clot that travelled to her lungs. They couldn’t help her in time.”

He didn’t have to show you, but the last picture of baby Ariane standing on chubby legs in the grass beside her mother’s headstone as Ari sat close behind making sure she didn’t fall had your heart sinking further than you’ve ever felt.

“Loving daughter, sister, friend, and mother,” etched in the grey stone, a new lump forms in your throat along with a dryness realizing Ari was in fact telling the truth, and you’d made a terrible mistake.

Well, shit.

Taglist: @fumbling-fanfics @honeychicana @lady-olive-oil @themyscxiras @melinda-january @lovelymari4 @lovebittenbyevans @theartisticqueen @chrisevans-world @shnadaidas @literaturelove @ivorylei @yinx1 @maylaysia109 @elrw24 @pono-pura-vida @justile @sunsetfreedom05 @jackiekae @luvingmyships @give-me-a-million-dollars-pls @bekinds @ladydmalfoy-deactivated20220715 @maxcullen @curlyhairclub @plokyu23 @fullofmelaninsarcasmandepression @nunubug99 @felicity-x0 @ellixthea @jojolu @jnk-812 @captainsamwlsn @wildfirecracker @nina-sj @iammyownlover @chaneajoyyy @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss @damnitaa @literaturefeen @bamondomesticity @scoop93535 @secretmysteriousperson

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#ari levinson #ari levinson x black!reader #ari levinson x reader #ari levinson x woc #red sea diving resort #ari levinson au #chris evans #chris evans x black reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans x woc!reader

[chancellorxofxtrash]

I managed to figure out why it cannot be Ace who breaks through to Keiwa

Sure, he has protag privileges, so he might be the one who FULLY pulls him back from this current state, but it has to be Michinaga who makes the first crack, even if he fails

A promise of "a world where everyone can be happy" rings hollow to someone whose entire family just died, and who kept wishing a similar thing and had been ridiculed for it, his ideals crushed over and over again (you can go into the differences between their wishes, yes, but this is not the post for that, there are differences, indeed, moving on).

"But G," I can hear you say, "Ace's entire family just died too" and you are absolutely correct! But there are a few key differences which make their different reactions and ways of dealing with it understandable.

First of all: the deaths themselves. Sure, Keiwa's parents died years ago, but he wasn't even there. And he just recently found out the ACTUAL circumstances too. It's a fresher wound. He JUST found it out, not to mention, his sister died in his arms, from a mortal wound, clearly in pain and suffering, and desperately trying to hold on.

Mitsume? She went after actually GETTING CLOSURE alongside Ace. For them, actually finding each other and talking was closure. Mitsume was at peace with what was happening, and even though Ace is grieving her, he is much better at accepting that as long as he can find a way to be happy, his mother's life and death won't be in vain (and to ensure it doesn't happen to anyone else again). Also let's not forget - Ace's quest to find his mother was just as much a quest for ANSWERS as well about his OWN existence - which he GOT.

Second of all: their ages and general circumstances. Keiwa, before the DGP was Just A Guy(tm). A Regular Fucking Dude. A bit aimless but like, dude's still young, early twenties, being aimless isn't the end of the world usually. Ukiyo Ace is anything BUT Just A Guy(tm). He has thousands of years of memories, numerous losses. Losses he had centuries to deal with, to compartmentalize, to move on from. Yeah, Mitsume - but as I said before it was just as much a search for answers and a lack of complete closure. He is much better at grabbing a feeling, putting it aside, focus on the problem ahead (ie: Jitt, saving Tsumuri, clearing out the Jyamato). Keiwa simply doesn't have the same way to do it, and reacts the worst possible way. Which he does. But it really cannot be expected of him to deal with this loss as (seemingly) well as Ace does.

It would ring hollow to him. A world where everyone can be happy - but how can he, with his entire family being dead to fuel wishes? He lost everything, he cannot see anything else. He could potentially work with Ace, try to figure out how HE can use his powers? Does it still work with using misery as fuel when it's him, and not the goddess? He could accept Neon's support, who tried reaching out to him about this. But he simply doesn't see the options he HAS, clinging into the initial ideas. As long as he gets his wish, things can be fixed, he thinks.

And then they don't.

Keiwa used to believe Ace's words of "as long as you try, and really put your heart into it, you can make your wish come true" (I actually can't remember now if Ace did this speech TO him any time, or a variation of it, but if he didn't, he WOULD have believed him.) But now he doesn't. He wouldn't. He can't. Because Ace can't promise him that he can fix things, and Keiwa can't redirect his focus to the danger.

You know who was the one who was the other way around? Someone who didn't quite believe Ace's words, or at least didn't think he was sincere about it, but now believes him? Someone who incidentally also lost everything before, making him lash out completely? Michinaga.

Even the inciting incident was similar, as we all often pointed it out when it happened. Tooru desperately clinging to life in Michinaga's arms, leaving him confused and in grief and pain, not knowing what was happening.

So Michinaga gets it. Ace, even if he'd try to help, he wouldn't be able to meet Keiwa on a level he needs to, right now. Ace is focused on saving Tsumuri (RIGHTLY SO), Keiwa just wants to fix things, and they just inevitably crash. Michinaga can meet Keiwa on a level where he GETS IT. He KNOWS what this is like.

Maybe he'll fail ultimately. (I still think it'd be cool if they'd fight Beroba and Kekera together.) But I really think Michinaga has a good chance at making a crack at getting through to Keiwa. Something to make him... start to doubt himself.

To bring in Neon, I could also imagine Neon also making a crack through to Keiwa, through... sympathising through her also missing Sara. Or something. But ultimately she also can't quite meet her on the level Keiwa needs to be met at, and probably it'll be Ace who'll FULLY pull Keiwa back, because Protag Privileges

Anyway excuse my ramblings I just have Many Thoughts

#kamen rider geats #geats spoilers

[donnerpartyofone]

blargh.

Already debating whether this therapist is going to work out. Which is possibly a good thing if I'm resisting because I'm being challenged. But I'm concerned that her whole approach is doing "you are valid" on me. I feel like that's not really my problem, that I don't necessarily need somebody to tell me my feelings matter. I mean of course that's always a point of contention because when your feelings bring no particular consequences, then it can sure seem like they don't matter (because they really don't in any objective sense), but to me the more pressing issue is WHAT I'm having feelings about and how I grapple with that thing. You can tell me my feelings about X matter all day long and it's not going to affect what a hard time I'm having managing X in my life, and who knows maybe it will make things worse to get so excited about the validity of my feelings, I don't know if I like imagining just how much MORE anger/grief/resentment/whatever I could be experiencing if I got really into like celebrating the importance of all my feelings. Mainly though I don't think the central question of therapy, for me, is "Is it OK that I'm like this?" Frankly it has to be OK because I AM "like this", that part isn't really up for debate. I think I'm more interested in talking about WHY I'm like this, how do I make it more manageable, or maybe how do I get better at/more tolerant of the parts of life that are so hostile and alien to me. Like to use the easy example of whatever is going on with me cognitively--I'm chronically disorganized, I'm destructively clumsy, I get lost going to very familiar places, I have trouble with basic mandatory parts of adult life like filling out forms or whatever, none of this improves with practice/patience/assistance--you know, you can tell me all day long that I'm a good person and I still deserve to live, but that really has no impact on the daily suffering I experience while trying to do things. I mean what am I supposed to do about THAT, I ask you, being "valid" doesn't seem to help me cope. The valid part is just some sort of abstract concept that I can choose to subscribe to or not, like belief in god. Though actually belief in god can give you a sense of purpose, or a sense of the relative meaning of things; just liking yourself doesn't necessarily do any of that. I know plenty of people who seem to really love themselves and actually, they're just really easily insulted and entitled about everything. That seems to be not great for them or anyone around them.

This surface-level complaint is actually what caused me to quit therapy the first time; when I told that person that I was having a hard time just doing basic independent adult things, her technique was to try to convince me that I was NOT having a hard time with anything, I was just exaggerating (lying, or even hallucinating I supposed) because I have low self-esteem. Which created the incredibly destructive and surprisingly long-lasting habit of mentally cataloguing every single time I have trouble doing something, in excruciating detail, so that anyone I could tell would be forced to believe me. And actually, a lot of people don't believe me anyway, no matter what I say. Aw, there there. You're so smart though. You can do anything. Nothing is hard for you except self-acceptance. You are valid.

I'm trying to keep my mind on how desperate I felt when I decided to go back into therapy, and how hard it was to find any available therapist at all who wasn't working for a scammy startup and who wasn't a chirpy little baby who I would never be able to take seriously (or both). I'm not going to give up right away. But I cannot be paying someone to give me pep talks about how I'm OK, You're OK. I have to assert that I'm not in therapy just to be told that I'm still a nice person with good qualities, which has no effect on how hard it is for me to do things, and no effect on the CPTSD that changed my understanding of how the world works and created all sorts of maladaptive behaviors and thought patterns. There could be some value in just having an opportunity to say secret and difficult things out loud, to hear what they sound like. But I'm going to have to train this person to stop reminding me that I'm still a cool dude even if I struggle, because I don't really have a question about my value as a person. It's the struggle part I'm worried about, figuring out why it happens and learning how to cope with it.

I often bring this up, but there's an episode of [cancelled TV show] where [cancelled star] is forced to babysit for this narcissistic mom in his PTA group. Her little boy turns out to be totally demonic, eating raw meat and wreaking havoc; eventually the protagonist finds him in the tub, soaking in a pool of his own diarrhea. He explains, stone faced, that "Mommy says anything I do is OK because I love myself." That's how I'm feeling right now, like my problem is that I'm drowning in shit, and I strongly suspect that loving myself is not going to affect the level of shit that I'm in.

[eruverse]

I don’t have the best opinion abt Amerus as a ship from my own research. They seemed grandiose (ofc) but I really don’t know if they truly loved each other. Since my focus is Ivan, I’m ofc more confident about his side of things, and excepting the 90s and some years before it, I’m inclined to say he never truly likes Alfred. As in, liking Alfred for what he sincerely is.

Their first meetings were amicable but I would say Ivan was quite detached? He had his priorities in other nations after all. He was indeed aware of Alfred’s budding charisma and that he found him quite attractive, but Alfred was still more of a child even though Ivan did treat him capable of dealing with the burdens on his shoulders. Ivan is old world, so I think he really made a distinction with Alfred, who isn’t. Ivan is pretty young amongst his cohort in Europe but compared to Alfred he is his own pretty different level.

The rest of things tell on themselves. Ivan and Alfred have a lot of differences, and the more they go the more different they are, and… opposites don’t always attract. Extreme opposites WILL repel each other hard. I don’t mean that there have never been sparks of attraction but are those enough to make them stay together? Well, obviously no. Whatever this is that they have often just make them want to beat each other up and be done with it. And the thing is that I think Ivan never actually wishes for a relationship that’s an equivalent to a minefield. He can be adventurous but all he ultimately wants is safety, safety. Stability. For someone who seems to be wishing for everything big he is also incredibly simple at the core of it. I don’t think Alfred can give him that. He can like Alfred (and he def has, once), but if he doesn’t think they can be together, would he even pursue that? Liking someone and wanting to be in a relationship with them are quite different matters.

I think Ivan would sometimes imagine about what life would be like if he is more like Alfred, and if he is closer to Alfred in more ways than one. But Ivan protects his own heart like a zealot, because it is weak. With every wish and expectation of love (even simple acceptance) comes neglect and rejection and betrayal. If, despite how overwhelming he can be outside, he is wary, he is even more wary when his own heart is involved. He doesn’t easily trust people especially people who are a bit too different, people he cannot understand. He would rather stay in hell that he knows inside out than trying for heaven he can’t even comprehend, because this heaven might be hiding even worse hell. Despite how beautiful looking that heaven is. Heaven is out of reach, anyway. Therefore it wouldn’t be one.

But things always come in duality. The more strongly Ivan fights things, the more they often attract him. That is true. With thicker walls he erects around his heart the more desperate he is for what is ‘outside’, even if he built those walls precisely because the ‘outside’ hurts. He can and will obsess over them; after all, he is not without love. And when he loves, it is fervent and potent. His desires for warm embraces constantly battle with his desire for isolation due to fear and distrust.

And Alfred. There are a gazillion reasons why Ivan wouldn’t trust someone like him. Ivan is a cynic skeptic and he believes everyone is full of bullshit like he is, so he thinks Alfred, who claims to be, well, anything but bullshit, is too good to be true. And Ivan can see through him (he is convinced). He keeps testing and testing Alfred to see if he would buckle. After all, anyone who shines brighter would be producing even darker shadow. But Alfred is so good at convincing people Ivan sometimes can see himself being convinced. At some points, he even was! However, most of the time, it’s not what Alfred truly is that interests him. The boy at the core. Instead, it’s the tenacity. The raw passion almost; the lengths Alfred would go through to make a man that he ‘is’. Not the content of his idealism exactly (now that he knows it’s mostly bullshit), but the drive in which he commits himself to even if he has to destroy himself. And the result of it all; oh, that’s his favorite part. The power he’s amassed. Who’s not going to love it? Alfred is very good at what he does, it is enviable.

And I think that’s what he would tell Alfred: no one would love you as you truly are. You know it, and that is why you keep presenting everyone else the image they would like to see from you instead. What would you be without your power?

Alfred would spit back: aren’t you just projecting on me?

Ivan would smile. Perhaps tilt his head a bit, knowingly, and Alfred would sigh loudly and walk away.

They can see each other, sometimes too well. But what attract them to each other aren’t enough to make them stay together.

#hetalia #aph russia #hws russia #aph america #hws america #my headcanon

[sternevogn]

NIXONVERSE/THITO RANT

so ive been thinking about this and i am going to start off with the appropriate TWs, so approach with care and consideration.

i'm going to address events in the third cycle of THITO, and thus, im going to discuss what i've observed and what i believe should be said.

VERY HEAVY TOPIC AHEAD. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

TW for self-harm

so, i believe we all know the infamous third cycle scene of the house in the ocean. the part where eli "eats sand, drinks saltwater and tears at his skin". he did this to ultimately try and ward off the crescent king and stop the ritual from furthering, of course. this is common knowledge, i think. but what i don't think is entirely consciously observed is that what we're seeing is eli self-harming- literally. he is aiming to hurt and harm himself in order to stop something he sees as worse from happening- becoming a vessel for the crescent king. from some outlook or perspective it could be seen as "crazy" or "erratic" behaviour, but the reality is that, no matter how you look at it, he is hurting himself. he did those things knowing they were going to hurt. he knew very well what he was doing, and he thought it a necessary sacrifice to prevent events that, quite unfortunately, ended up happening anyway, making his efforts futile.

i also want to add that, while i know eli was very tired at this point, he made absolutely no attempt to run away. i believe in a way he felt so cornered knowing how fast the lunarians were that he felt he wouldn't be able to escape, and this is why he resorted to harming himself. he was already exhausted, and he made it worse all in hopes of stopping the crescent king and the lunarians.

it might seem a little outlandish or out there in hindsight and in retrospect, but this form of self-harm is not far off from the truth. a lot of the times, people use self-harm as an escape for something that they see as worse, and even punishing themselves so that they won't BE punished. if there is intent to harm or punish oneself- whether subconsciously or not- then that is exactly what it is. nothing more and nothing less. of course, something akin to what eli did is not exactly the kind of things you'd most likely see from a person who is in a place of desperate struggle. however, behaviours seen as "erratic", "crazy" or "unusual" are justifiably something to be concerned about.

you cannot see mental illness- and that's why signs like this are important. it's a glimpse, a window into the workings of someone's mind and, ultimately, their well-being. and that's why it's important to recognise forms of self-harm that can be both conscious or sub-conscious. for example, when most people think of self-harm i believe they think of using weapons or physically harming themselves. however, things like self-sabotage in relationships and friendships, isolation, and shutting yourself off from people (not speaking about your feelings) is also a form of sub-conscious (or conscious) self-harm. for a physical sub-conscious example, you could take punishing yourself as one. things such as refusing yourself food or other things that would be taking care of yourself are too self-harm, even if we don't really internalise it or recognise it as such. but in the end, these things are with aim to hurt yourself.

i also just want to say this isn't like a way to bash on anyone or make anyone uncomfortable, i just think this is a prime example of something that should be addressed and kind of looked at at different angles 😭😭

anyway so sorry for the long ass serious rant/observation/analysis on this, i just thought about it and how it's pretty important, especially for the real world. it's also national suicide awareness month, so i think a topic like self-harm is well within the realms of this, and something that should be discussed (with care of course.)

anyway if you read all the way through this a) very sorry and b) thank you for taking the time to read through, even though i didn't even really address nixonverse/thito much other than touching on that one little thing 😭

#tw sh related #arin rambles #arin talks #sterne rants #sterne rambles #monument mythos #the monument mythos #the nixonverse #the house in the ocean

[potionpeddlerpatchy]

Hi patchy! I always love this event when you do it. I believe I did Bakugou last time so I wanted to try someone new this time! That's of course if you don't have too many entries 🖤🐈‍⬛

Hi Patchy my beloved, I have this huge crush on pro hero Izuku Midoryia and I need a potion for it please.

Love seeing you around patchy! Happy Halloween 🎃👻

🖤🐈‍⬛@katsukikitten

It always puts a smile to my face to see you here, sweet Traveler. Even more so to hear of people like who come seeking my talents over something so saccharine and innocent as that of a crush. How it makes childish fools out of the best of us. Even the most wise, and those withered with age, are transported back to stuttering children with rosy cheeks when confronted with such pleasant foe.

Though, if you are here, I can tell that you do not find yourself enjoying the coy battle that new has brought. Perhaps it is due to said person being unworthy? Perhaps it has taken too much of your time away from your more important tasks. Or, perhaps…. Perhaps you are faced with someone who is far too bashful to know what to do when you confronted them?

Whatever the case may be, the solution is a rather universal one. A simple philter, an oil you rub upon your delicate skin and it will help whoever is lucky to be near its sweet scent to push passed their trepidatious and allow themselves to fall headlong into the rush that is young love.

“Oh, my dear…” The peddler before you mumbled, it was clear she was troubled over your request though you could not tell if it was due to her talents or the morality of such a thing.

“Can you not do it?” You responded after a moment had passed between you, and then another. Your nerves aflame with anxiousness as you began to play with the cloth of your sleeve.

“I make it a habit to let all those who venture into my shop know that there is no issue that one could stumble in with that I would find too ridiculous nor potion I cannot make.” She spoke, though her words were slightly muffled to the nail of her thumb sitting between her teeth.

“But you will not do this?” You questioned, your small sigh when she shook her head turned into a scoff as you turned your head away.

Not that you were angry with her, after all it was not her fault that you were in such a state – such a predicament. It was not her fault that you came in with stumbling feet due to such dire desperation; but you were just that, desperate. You had not planned to be in this situation, nor were you hoping to feel like a silly teenaged girl once more, but it seemed life always enjoyed watching you struggle.

After all, you thought you were too old to have a crush.

Too old to feel a mixture of anxiousness and giddiness bubble forth and run wild within your stomach whenever you saw him. Or to have your hands get all sweaty whenever you had to speak with him. And lord, have your thoughts and words become a stuttered and jumbled mess whenever you spoke to him. It wasn’t as if you assumed that garnering such strong affections for someone would never happen after your teenage years, you were not an idiot. You knew that in no matter what stage in life, love would affect you in some manner when you found the right one.

You simply just hated how stupid it made you feel. You were a professional after all, one that had never stumbled or made of fool of themselves since entering your corporate field. And now you felt you were reduced to nothing more than a schoolgirl trying in vain to get their crush to notice them; even for a brief moment. And yet, you were at its mercy. For no matter how hard you tried to end your internal torture, to gain control of the situation and do something, it never worked.

For, sadly, Izuku Midoryia was in a far worser situation than you.

You gathered that fairly quickly after you first met. Even before you felt the overwhelmingness that budding love would bring, before this little infatuation began, he presented himself as nothing more than a timid mouse in the presence of a beautiful woman. It made you laugh, when he finally scurried away from you, how such a strong hero – one that brought fear into the hearts of any criminal within the country – would become nothing a timorous man with a face flushed a darker red than the cherries he was snacking on when you introduced yourself.

And that was the problem. Not only did his neurotic behaviour and endless mutterings when he thought he was alone endear yourself to him, to the point you ended up thinking it charming, but that once you did start to show hints of attraction towards him, he was suddenly harder and hard to find. As if too nervous to face you, and be confronted with the idea of a date, as if worried he may die of a heart attack if you did.

At the end of the day, it was simply too difficult to try and rid yourself of a crush if you could not face the person you had one on.

And that was why you were here. The fair few you had confided in, after they confronted you over your work not being done to the high standard and calibre you had set yourself up for, told you of this so-called peddler and her little cart of tinctures she brought to fairs and shows – she even had a small shop a few blocks. One of them even claimed that they worked. She had boasted that the brew she was given made courage run her veins. You thought that if a small vial of mystery liquid could do that for her, even for a short while, it could perhaps help you with your little predicament.

Though, you will admit, after yet another moment had passed as you gazed upon the peddler’s profile that perhaps you had asked for something far too grand and far-reaching than your little situation would have called for.

“I have never, nor will I ever, make a love potion” The peddler stated clearly, her eyes now moved to stare back to you “If love was never there, then it never would be and I refuse to fabricate love and force an unwilling party into it. It does nothing more than create disarray and proves a mockery of my craft. So, I am sorry, but I must decline your request.”

“….I see” You whispered out, eyes darted toward the floor as you were unable to hold her intense gaze “And I respect your decision. Perhaps I was far too bold to with my claims when I first came to you.”

“I do understand your dilemma though.” She spoke again after your words hung in the air, causing it to grow sorrowful “So perhaps we can come to a compromise?”

The Peddler was true to her word, a compromise was achieved. You did not walk away from her small shop with an armours potion for utter devotion and love, but rather a small philter of rather sweet, scented oil for you to use upon your skin in order to allow whoever took even the small inhale to lose that timid barrier. She had instructed for you to place it upon your wrists and behind your ears, for the small act of motioning your hand or tucking some hair away from your face was the inconspicuous of ways to allow the scent to spread.

With a determined sigh, you rushed back toward your office with hurried footfall; in the hopes that you would be able to place the concoction onto your skin and ‘run-into’ him before the day was over. You knew you had all the time in the world to test if that strange woman was a fraud or not, truly it was not as if you or Midoryia were going to be leaving the agency anytime soon. But after the months of feeling so helpless stuck underneath the humiliating weight that love was forcing you under, to rush seemed to be the only answer to ensure your freedom.

But, once more, life seemed to enjoy watching you stumble and stutter your way through it. For as your walked through the clear glass doors you had done so many times, your eyes set on the small vial in your hand, you failed to notice the person rushing to leave through them.

There was always good within the bad. Though it hurt, having your head knock against such a strong body, you were grateful that you were able to keep that little bottle clutched tightly in your hand. Though your heart seemed to sink down to your stomach when you were asked if you were hurt.

“Your eyes are watering, did I hit your nose?” Midoriya asked, worry clearly written upon his faced as he held you by the shoulders, his eyes scanned over every inch of your face and body to ensure no injury had fallen upon you.

“N-no… no I’m fine” You swallowed as you did your best to avoid his eye as humiliation began to swallow you hole, truly this was not the scenario you planned.

“Are you sure?” He asked, and though you felt his grip upon your arms lessen it was not enough for you to break free of his hold; something you so desperately wanted to do.

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?” He asked again, moving his face to better peer at your own, “I need you to look at me and tell me that you are. It’s the only way I’ll know for sure.”

With a shaky sigh you relented, though slowly, as you lifted your head to peer at his boyishly handsome face; you did you best to ignore the heat you felt upon your cheek as the small buckling of your knees “I’m fine.”

“Good.”

Though he was pleased with your answer, his grip upon you had not changed. You watched closely as his own cheek began to flush, while his eyes darted between looking into your own and upon your soft lips. You were so transfixed, so unaware of anything other than his beautiful green eyes, that you did not realize he was leaning toward you until your felt his warm breath upon your tickle your upper lip.

“Mr. Midori - !” He stole the last syllable from you, as well as your breath, when he finally pressed his lips upon yours; then gentleness his kiss gave made your heart beat out of its chest as you melted into him.

As I say to all who come to me searching for a potion of love; if it is truly there between two people, it will show itself in time. I could sense that it would come between you to at just the right moment, that some small catalyst will set something in motion to allow one of you to finally feel brave enough to take that leap.

Though, if I am honest, I did not think him courageous enough to make such an advance toward you so soon after our encounter.

Oh, suppose I should also say, now that honesty has captured my tongue, that that philter I have given you will not work in the manner of which I told you. It will not cause whoever inhales its scent to slightly lose their inhibitions around you, tis merely a very strong perfume. Though I still suggest wearing it upon your wrists and behind your ear should you want to use it.

#though I do guarantee that it would have pushed him enough over the edge to make it seem like it worked #so it was not totally a lie! #but I digree #I do hope you enjoy my sweet friend #🔮.the peddler's peculiar potion sale #bnha izuku #izuku midoriya #izuku x reader

[ofsvnshine]

‘ deaken bluman, gender fluid, they/she/he, 28 / 280 ’ ― cauldron save you. it seems SAGE HEARTHORNE has finally made it to the capital, the SCHOLAR from DAWN COURT is said to be EMPATHETIC and is said to describe themselves with THE FIRST BLOOM OF SPRING, LONG NIGHTS SPENT ALONE IN A LIBRARY, THE SMELL OF BLOWN OUT CANDLES and with all of this in mind their NAIVETY always seems to get them into trouble. may the mother hold them as they navigate this unthinkable time. 

statistics :

label: the saccharine. 

positive traits: empathetic, curious, affectionate.

negative traits: naive, meek, insecure.

orientation: homosexual, homoromantic.

gender: gender fluid ( they / she / he pronouns ).

age: 28 280.

species: high fae.

profession: scholar ( inner circle ).

court: dawn.

abilities: immortality, winnowing, healing, dream manipulation.

mbti: infj.

zodiac: pisces.

noteworthy features: big brown eyes, curly hair usually quite messy, long fingers usually holding a book, a faraway gaze in their eyes.

introduction :

abuse tw, anxiety tw

you have no memory of your mother, but you are always told that you have her eyes. you often wonder if that is why your father cannot look at you, as if gazing into your face reminded him too much of the person he lost, and perhaps even of why she was gone -- your fault, he likes to remind you.

your mother left only a week after giving birth to you - an unplanned pregnancy that despite promises of staying together and that it was a blessing in disguise - your mother left in the middle of the night, leaving you behind with your father. his responsibility now.

you are often told that it was the thing that changed your father. you are often reminded that ' he never used to be this way ' as if that reminder did anything besides make you feel worse. he was a good man. a happy man. you have never met that version, only knowing growing up with an angry man in your home, one who always wanted you to be different.

as you grew up one thing was always made abundantly clear - you were not the child he wanted. despite knowing that your mere existence was enough for him to never be happy, you still did everything you could to try and be the child he wanted. though it was never enough. never.

and that lead you to having to mature rather quickly, learning to take care of yourself knowing that it was up to you to do so. but it also lead to the intense anxiety you feel most times. you always feel on edge, always waiting for the other shoe to drop, always waiting to be scolded or reprimanded. you hardly feel comfortable in social situations, never able to quite feel right in your skin.

most of your time was spent trying to get out of his hair, trying to avoid whatever spew of anger would be directed at you that day. and most of the time that resulted in you either locking yourself away in your room surrounded by books or venturing out to the gardens to feel the warm sun on your face.

your family has a long history of being scholars for the dawn court and you knew that was your fate as well. but it never bothered you. learning and teaching others was where you felt the most safe. it was where you felt the most like yourself. sure, it was something you were lined up to do based on legacy, but you firmly believe it would have been something you would have always wanted to do regardless.

most times you can be found late at the library, or wandering through the gardens with your nose in a book. you also have a profound pull towards nature and to healing, something you are desperate to learn more about.

you want to matter - you want to help. you want to contribute something to this world around you and be of use to others - perhaps always searching for the never received father's praise in unknown places.

wanted connections :

their mentor ( wc on main ) !!! art pals, ex friends, ride or die best friend, a bad influence, unlikely friends, enemies, other book nerds, someone they can tutor, childhood friends, more tbd !

#abuse tw #anxiety tw #ofcourtfables:intro #* sage / introduction. #daddy issues gang rise up !

[twisted-wonderland-shenanigans]

Twisted Wonderland!Deity AU Worldbuilding: Artificial Gods

Hello my lovelies~!

So I've thought long and hard about some things and realized that I've not exactly given everyone much in terms of worldbuilding with some of the AUs I've got, namely the Deity!AU due to me not wanting to spoil too much but struggling to get to that point where I write something story wise that leads to me explaining more about it. So I'm hoping to try and change that!

Depending on how much I have built up and how long it takes me, I'll likely start posting things a little more freely while still keeping certain storytelling ideas hidden (for now)! In the meantime, I hope you guys enjoy this idea I'd had sitting in my noodle. UvU

Artificial Deities—a term coined by Idia—are an ancient form of primal magic and is used to describe a unique phenomenon which occurs when a mortal makes a “pure prayer”. The conditions leading up to the “birth” of these deities is largely unknown, though a common factor is that they appear during times of strife, fear, and desperation when mortals believe they’ve been abandoned by the gods or that they're at the end of the line with no hope. Alternatively, very strong feelings versus thoughts may also be a factor that leads to their creation, be it someone seeking comfort in dark times or even a guiding light to lead the lost safely home.

Each one of these artificial deities appears to come from the Stardust River itself. However, no one has any clear understanding of how this could be, or if the river itself is trying to fulfill a role that is needed. Was this perhaps a failsafe put in place by the Heavenly Ones…or perhaps from the primordial beings that roamed creation in the beginning?

These entities have no true form outside a vague humanoid shape made of energy that varies across the color spectrum, having no voice to speak with. Instead, they rely on gestures and body language to communicate. When true deities were brought into this world and began answering prayers themselves, these entities became scarce as fewer pure prayers were made.

Despite being powerful and controlling the primal energies of creation, they can only survive for a short period of time before their core collapses in on itself, and they cease to exist. It is only recently discovered that their existence lasts only for as long as they are needed. Without a stable core, they cannot sustain themselves the same way normal deities can and will eventually return to the Stardust River.

Since the formation of new generations of true deities over the years to take over the duties of the ones before them, Artificial Deity appearances have become such a rarity that very few ever come into existence in modern times…though it’s certainly not an impossibility.

Behavior-wise, these entities essentially behave much like a machine following their programming, doing their directive to answer the wish until it is complete. However, it has been noted that—the longer they remain whole—the more they begin to behave like curious children seeing the world for the first time.

So far there has only been one recorded instance of an Artificial Deity becoming a fully fledged god, though who it is has been lost to the sands of time. Perhaps Lilia would know more about the whereabouts of this particular silver entity with violet eyes…

That's all I've got for now!

Fun fact: I actually hinted (very slightly!) at the existence of these beings. Curious? I'll give you a little hint: look at the "Half-deity or Full-Deity" list where I list everyone as being full or half deities, then read the last two bullets here~ >v>

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland deity au #twst deity au #deity au worldbuilding #lilia vanrouge #twst silver #twisted wonderland silver

[lyra-brie]

Tell me more about your academic rival people???

Alright so. They live in this world made of these beautiful floating islands with waterfalls that fall into nowhere (*cough* except its not nowhere). And there's one main country (I really need to go find my notes that has the names of the places cuz I cannot remember them for my life lol) that encompasses a group of said islands with one large main island in the middle where the city is and stuff and then all the little islands around it are full of small villages and stuff.

Nixie, our main girl, is from one of the small villages with her mom and her little sister. They've been struggling with money for as long as she can remember, and her dad has never been in the picture. She has exactly one memory from when she probably 6-ish, maybe a little younger, of an Uncle Ash that she'd never met before and never saw again, and he spent a weekend with her and her mom (sister wasn't born yet at this point) and then just disappeared and never came back.

Nixie turned out to be very magically gifted and ended up getting into this school on the mainland that's known world wide for being one of the best when it comes to magic. Mom panics for a minute cuz it's always just been the three of them and she's not ready for Nixie to be that far away, but in the end she knows Nixie going off and being able to actually make money is probably their only chance at ever getting out of poverty and so Nixie goes off to boarding school, whether she even really wanted this herself or not, I'm not sure yet.

One of the biggest things at said school (which I should really name) is how fiercely they encourage competition. These kids futures depend on where they are on a leader board. Nixie and Aerin have spent every year they've been in this school together fighting for that top spot.

Aerin doesn't have the same reasons for going for it so desperately as Nixie, but he does have his own. See, his dad sucks. He's very aggressive verbally and belittling. They live on the mainland because his dad has ties in the government. He wants Aerin to be at the top and anything less than that isn't good enough and he's very abusive verbally and emotionally, with a few bouts of physical abuse. Aerin has yet to really come to terms with the fact that this is abuse and that it's not okay and is instead just believing all of it is his fault and if he just does better, his dad will love him again.

So they're both on opposite sides of this, putting ridiculous amounts of pressure on themselves (and having pressure put on them by their parents) trying to fight to be the best and they often take it out on each other.

But somehow they both end up befriending this new girl, Cari. (Her full name is Caridoma but she absolutely will not respond to that, she'll flat out ignore you.) No one really even knows how she got in to the school in the first place because she couldn't care less about its competitive nature and doesn't even do her work half the time because she's more interested in something else. Often, that's helping someone else with something completely unrelated to school. She's very sweet and also reckless and often does not think about the consequences of helping people. How she ended up befriending both Nixie and Aerin-who could only dream of being so carefree-I don't know but she managed it. She absolutely hates being in the middle of their rivalry though. She ignores them both anytime they try to insult each other. Especially since she sees the way it affects both of them (even the things they try to hide) and how burnt out they both are on all of it.

They have this one teacher though that Cari adores. Not sure yet what she teaches, but she often throws out everything the government wants from her and encourages them to work together, to help each other rather than trying to destroy each other. And somehow she ends up getting Nixie and Aerin actually working together on something, which goes about as well as one would expect. That is, until they start stumbling upon secrets about their government and what they're *really* building below the islands-and what already was below the islands. And that secret keeps leading them to more and more, secrets about Nixie's family and about who Cari really is. And before long they're tangled up with a rebel group they thought was full of terrorists and they're involved in this whole mess they don't know how to get out of.

Absolutely feel free to send more asks anytime! I love talking about them and each time I talk about them I have more ideas and everything starts to make more sense lol

#academic rivals wip #writeblr #writblr #wip intro #answering asks

[bracketsoffear]

Clara/The Changeling (Pathologic) "Clara does not exist until the game begins. She takes on the role of a healer in this town with an emerging plague, but the first person she attempts to heal dies. She is told that someone who looks exactly like her is committing crimes in the town, so she has to actively work to maintain her reputation throughout the game, or else citizens will start to attack her in the street.

Though she does have healing abilities, the game purposefully misleads you on how they are used. She doesn't understand it any more than you do. She is also aware that she is a character in a video game, and knows that she cannot exist outside the framework of the game. Because Pathologic is about a town dying to the plague that you are trying your hardest to prevent, and then mitigate, and then destroy at any cost, Clara comes to believe that she is the cause of the plague. After all, she cannot exist in a world without one. She comes into being as the game begins, and will likely stop existing after it is over, as what more is there for her to do? Kill an already dead town? Save an already healed town?

Each character you can play as can choose their own ending, and hers involves asking people to sacrifice themselves to her routinely to keep the town alive. Even when you make the correct choices and try to heal the town, the plague is still a constant threat and will never truly go away, and Clara is indeed responsible for this looming threat, as her healing hands are the ones people are blindly following into a routine of self-sacrifice and reminder of the plague that almost destroyed their town. In a way, it is fully possible to interpret her character as the true source of the plague, and the game allows you to believe this. There isn't really anything to contradict it, after all."

Malenia, Blade of Miquella (Elden Ring) "Cursed from birth to be host of the Scarlet Rot, a deity of decay and rebirth that manifests as a horrendously virulent alien disease. Despite resisting its power and dedicating her life to containing it, she was afflicted badly by it--she lost both feet, an arm, and her eyes to the Rot, and it runs strong enough through her veins that she can become a Walking Wasteland if she doesn't keep it under control, even having her weapons and armor consecrated with Unalloyed Gold to resist it. When she battled Radahn, she ultimately “bloomed” and unleashed the Scarlet Rot all over Caelid using the Scarlet Aeonia, turning it into a plague-ridden hellhole. Since the Aeonia, she's been leaking Rot all over the Haligtree despite her continued efforts to contain it; killing her will cause her to revive and temporarily apotheosize into the Goddess of Rot where she consciously wields her curse's power in a desperate attempt to kill the Tarnished. She seems to embrace the Rot's warped mindset, as whenever she kills the Tarnished in this phase, she tells them to let the Scarlet Rot consume their flesh. Her Goddess of Rot form is also associated with the toxic Aeonian Butterflies that form her wings and her attacks, symbolizing her gradual metamorphosis into something inhuman as she gives into the Scarlet Rot. According to the description of her signature Incantation Scarlet Aeonia, “Each time the scarlet flower blooms, Malenia's rot advances. It has bloomed twice already. With the third bloom, she will become a true goddess.” Her trusted comrades, the Cleanrot Knights, accepted the fact that their close service to Malenia would doom them to a slow and painful death by scarlet rot, and willingly chose to faithfully serve her anyway (which may tie into The Corruption’s themes of destructive love); consequently, their flesh is constantly rotting and they often suddenly and violently puke out their rot-infected guts even in the midst of combat. What is definitely related to The Corruption’s metaphorical love associations is that Malenia sees herself as “The Blade of Miquella,” holding great pride in her reputation as Miquella's undefeated protector and using her status as a shield against the Rot's constant attempts to claim her mind. Consequently, when she has trouble in battle against opponents like the Tarnished and Radahn she is willing to let the Rot advance in her body and mind over a defeat that could shame her brother, especially since she has already failed him by letting him get kidnapped and not being able to rescue him. Malenia overall falls into the Agnes Montague category of Avatar--she absolutely does not want to be a vessel of the Scarlet Rot, but she can’t help but spread disgusting disease and decay to everyone and everything around her, and--in part because of her love for her brother--she is eventually pushed to the point of embracing the Rot out of desperate fear."

#corruption poll #the magnus archives #the corruption #pathologic #elden ring #poll