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fictionfixations · 8 days

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wiki

I FIGURED OUT HOW PEOPLE ADD STUFF ON THE WIKI

there's TEMPLATES

(god i feel like sebek with all these caps)

ive mostly just been seeing how other people do it and referencing it (cause there's specific names for things. like the navigation box for events having its own thing and a specific name for its 'type')

so so.

You know that one post I made sharing Azul's birthday bloom lines because it wasn't on the wiki? I ADDED THOSE

not the recordings tho because i dont know how to do it and i dont think recent-ish cards have those audio files (you basically add stuff from a sort of 'storage'. Like. you put in the name and it just. appears. like, for card type or something like that you put in the card name, like, say, 'Birthday Bloom', and that card appears there. its cool.)

i dont know how to explain it.

I did it for tsumsitter kalim too

and then because i am insane i did his vignette too (MY HANDS HATE ME). im so bad at describing how the tsum moves around. it was repetitive with 'hops'

because i am undescriptive (also the tsumsitter doesn't have a icon as far as i can tell. so most of the parts with tsumsitter kalim i just switched to his dorm uniform one. but for that one bit where he picks up the tsum i set it to tsumsitter. so its just. red. ALSO i KNOW its tsumsitter because i went to riddle's and checked what outfit name they used for him and its Tsumsitter.)

i got lazy and stopped describing when it left. so if anyone wants to go do that be my guest.

anyway i dont know if there's some special thing for when a time skip happens. like when there's a black swipe to signify talking/time skip so. fshuif

i dont know how to add him to the vignettes box either so. whoops. (i didnt even know there was a vignette navigation box ngl)

and because. for some odd reason i like doing this. i added chapter 5-1, 5-2, and 7-1 of Sam's New Year Sale 2024 (That's Pomefiore's bit, and then Diasomnia's visit. contemplating adding Diasomnia's leave too but my hands hurt). because those are pretty short and dont make me die inside (everything else is so absurdly long and at that point when i feel like stopping i just dont want to leave it unfinished like that yknow?? so i just keep going until im done and then die inside)

i dont think there's a file for the hagoita thingy??? the paddle. thing. i know in some chapters in other stuff it shows images of the item itself. but i looked back to when it was first introduced and there's no image of it showing it. and i tried searching for the file but nothing. so. it prob doesnt exist.

anyway if there's any typos im sorry. its more noticeable on stuff like the name and outfit cuz any typos mess it up, but on text, unless it has that red squiggly, im blind

#wiki #wiki fandom #fandom wiki #twst #twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #thoughts

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drdemonprince · 9 months

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Reading/hearing about the research around neurotypical's biases towards autistic people even when we mask makes me pessimistic and disheartened about meeting new people honestly, like I can't take the thought that I'm playing with the cards stacked against me. Do you experience this? if so, how do you cope with it?

Oh ]localpussyboy I have a ton to say about this -- and most of it is actually pretty hopeful. I'm going to make an Autistic Advice column about this for you -- Aug 15th pub date since I already have a piece scheduled for August 1st.

I dont want to leave you hanging entirely, so I will say this much right now: that research only holds for people interacting with someone whom they do not know is Autistic. When a person knows they are interacting with an Autistic, research shows they like the person more, they are far less biased against them, and they show an interest in learning more about Autism! Self-disclosing as Autistic can be risky, especially in professional or educational settings, but when it comes to making new friends and teaching people how to be a good friend to you, it comes with real benefits.

There are a variety of other reasons why the situation understandably feels dismal but isn't actually as dreary as it seems, and while the biases we face are huge and very real, there are some strategies i've found for working through a lot of past trauma and developing greater faith in my own and others' lovability. I will get back to you with more on that in the column!

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prototypelq · 5 months

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So, I stumbled upon a video about Adi Shankar today (that's the netflix anime exec and showrunner), and I...now feel much, much more positive about the whole thing!

What I've learned, is that Adi is basically El Donte with Vergil-drank-a-whole-Monster levels of hype&energy&perfectionism in tv series industry. The guy is clinically unhinged and deranged, which I think could fit the DMC anime tone nicely.

He has been making gaming adaptations for a long time now, and his works all come from a genuine love and care for the source material, enhanced with a special Adi TM take on the whole thing. Sadly, I've just learned of his other works, so not exactly best source for this kind of thing, but I got the feeling the guy likes to gore and darken up the source, spice it up with self-irony, and sew everything to skeleton made out of pure-geek love and obsession over the original.

He had a sort of El Donte arc in the industry, as the guy liked to come in shattering doors and expectations of 'normal' executives and investors, but he seems to have matured a little to start combining the best of fan-love and big investor money into amazing and unique works of art. He is most known for working on Castlevania series, but personally the show I learned about (and was sold on to give a watch) is Captain Laserhawk.

Captain Laserhawk is Ubisoft doing a RARE INDEED creative take on their stuff, basically they gave Adi creative freedom over every franchise Ubisoft has ever owed, and a result of that was a.... an adult show which roasts the ever-living hell out of Ubisoft, their practices and everything, with Rayman doing news-anchoring, drugs and then having an existential crisis? Oh, and also for animation he specifically commissioned a studio known for the...furry carnal desire series they uploaded to their own page.

The most bizarre thing is that Adi said he had a Ubi-lawyer follow him to every meeting to confirm that, yes, Ubisoft gave a green light to all of this.

So, uh, yeah gotta give Captain Laserhawk a watch, I wanna see Ubisoft roasted.

Mind you, Captain Laserhawk was Adi given a free-out-of-jail card on going unhinged, so he did not disappoint. His Castlevania show seems to have been loved by all fans, and seems to be much more tone-according to the series, as far as I can tell. At least, I've heard nothing but praise for that series. Also, knowing japanese studios, I think Capcom was keeping a close watch over everything, still, if Adi's previous work is to go by, then this anime is sure going to be

C R R R A Z Y

Adi claimed to have played all the DMC titles, so he knows his source, and I now believe that those manga in the latest anime preview weren't for show either. We also know the father of the series, Hideaki Itsuno, oversaw the anime production to some extent, so I'm sure it's going to tonally fit DMC. I also wouldn't mind a darker take on this series at all. The anime would be the perfect form to do that, too, as DMC is a world where demon incursions are a frequent occurrence, this HAS to affect the people of this setting somehow. The games can't really tap too much into that either, cause the gameplay of this series is 'bully your opponent back into hell' basically, these games are f u n, and you can't really have fun gameplay and a depressing story, the tone clash wouldn't really work.

DMC5 tried, but it is still mostly a very fun experience, the tragedy of the Qlipoth attack is highlighted only in the beginning, and the game even ends with Nero brightly lit and looking around the ruins, which works for him as a character, but the human tragedy that happened has already been forgotten by that point.

This is not a critique, I wouldn't have DMC any other way, but I DO want additional material that brings the setting down when we exit the 'sparda idiots' radius, and I feel like with Adi at the helm that's exactly what we might get with the anime. Oh, he also claimed to have been working on the anime all this time since 2018, and with his drive and obsession over every project I feel like Adi is not exaggerating, the production of that size and obsession could have very well taken over five years in the oven.

So yeah, I am now feeling much more excited for the whole thing. That's a very nice feeling)

#i also have a small suspicion aroace dante gang should keep their shields up... might be exaggerating though #adi shankar #what a KING this guy is im very impressed #gotta watch something of his #also hoping that he includes lady #you can't do her dirtier than capcom basically any direction they take her will be better than the nothing we currently have #free reminder for everyone to take a chill pill before release and meditate on open mindedness me very much included #sadly the video I saw is in ru and I haven't found much on adi in eng but this guy is easy to get a feel of basically watch any #brief interview with him or smth and you'll get where this post is coming from #dmc anime #dmc #devil may cry netflix #devil may cry #pls feel free to point out any typos I wrote this in one go

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as-i-watch · 7 months

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Episode 5 veredict:

5/5 Straw Hats 👒👒👒👒👒

Nothing is 100% perfect, but using decimals is for cowards bitches

The good:

Baratie is the best set so far hands down

God i love Taz's Sanji. He had three lines of dialogue but his was the first straw hat that inmediately felt like the charecter

Also Zeff, i have nothing negative to say, perfect Zeff, perfect with Sanji. Perfect duo.

Garp. I fucking love this Garp so much. Him and Luffy just screaming at eachother and throwing canon balls at eachother from their ships was so funny. I want to see where they go with it but introducing Garp this early was a really big move for the LA and i think so far it payed off.

MIHAWK. Not even necessary to point out how perfect the costume is but Steven Ward got the tone of the charecter perfectly fucking right!!

Sure they deleted Don Krieg but i actually didnt mind it in the end? There was no actual 'bad guy' but i liked it. I thought all episodes now would follow the syrup village format of stablishing the villain in the first ep, ending with a cliffhanger and the next ep had the full third act kinda battle. But the plot needed to slow down, they needed to give more time for the crew to bond and Baratie first half is the perfect moment to do that, and also an opportunity for the rest of the crew to get to know eachother without Luffy as a conduit (he was busy being a busboy). So yeah, i dont mind they didnt even introduced Krieg this ep as the villain of the arc, bc we got Zoro and Nami playing drinking games, Luffy and Sanji talking about dreams in a quiet moment at the kitched, and drunk Usopp busting some moves.

Oh god Mihawk's and Zoro's fight. It was almost exactly like in the anime, and i usualy hate frame by frame replications in adaptations of this kind, but that fight was iconic and perfect, they knew they didnt have to mess with that. But not only that, it was perfectly executed. It managed to capture the same emotion as the anime (something that other key moments so far fail to get it right spcially in backstories and flashbacks)

Again, kudos to Mackenyu for all the sword fight, holy shit they are becoming my fav things in the show

Ehh could'e been better:

There were only two moments in this ep that made me go :/

Luffy's argument to get Zeff to accept the IOU. Luffy never cared about status and what being King of the Pirates would mean, he dont care about having hand or the benefits the title would bring him. Pulling that card felt very strange, the most natural thing for Luffy was to just stare at Zeff dead in the eye and just say he's broke af

Nami not leaving. Stealing the ship and leaving them at Baratie was huge deal and what prompted they way into Arlong Park. But more of a plot point it was huge for Nami's charecter, bc she was still trying to convice herself that she hadnt become friends with those idiots, bc she still hated all pirates, bc she still tried to present a cold 'i dont need no one' kinda facade. But LA Nami had already admited not only that she was friends with the boys but also that she was part of the crew. Thats ok but now the issue is that her stealing Merry makes little sense, and even leaving at all makes little sense. Dont get me wrong, i love this Nami and i like the direction they gave the charecter, but i think maybe they neglected a bit her own personal growth and inner conficts, which is what sets te base for everything that happens to her at Arlong Park later on

#you didnt ask for it and yet here it is: my opinion #opla #one piece LA

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vorpalfae · 10 months

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you shouldn't be smoking when you have a child. depending of the degree in which you allow yourself to, that's bad parenting to put it bluntly, and if your unwilling to drop habits you shouldn't have kids.

first of all, its not bad parenting to smoke in general. i smoke for multiple medical reasons. and i dont even smoke that much because i don't want to be high most of the time. i just need to function. its not a "habit" its something i do because i can't eat without getting nauseous, and i have a debilitating stomach condition so i use marijuana for stomach pain instead of taking painkillers for the rest of my life. i had a medical marijuana card but i didnt renew it because i grow my own weed now. i'm not addicted to weed. i have never had a problem quitting it before. i rarely ever smoke recreationally unless its a social setting or special occasion. weed is medicinal for me.

and you sound like such an ignorant douche bag sending this kind of shit to someone you don't even know, talking about children that aren't even yours and are none of your business.

also, every single human being has some sort of bad habit or something they need to work on. you don't need to be a perfect person to have children or there wouldn't be a human population😹 nobody is perfect. and smoking weed doesn't make you a bad person. just like drinking once in a while doesn't make u a bad person if you do it responsibly.

every parent has bad habits. but my smoking weed isn't a bad habit. its a choice between being a functional person or someone who is in constant pain and throwing up 24/7. OR being on pain killers all the time. i wouldn't be able to do much at all for my kids if i couldn't function.

i don't owe you an explanation for MY life and my decisions but ur anon is so ignorant and so far from the truth that its actually pathetic. 😹 u don't get to decide if someone should be a parent or not. i highly doubt u even have children. and if you do, then you should worry about your own kids instead of MY personal life. i don't need parenting advice or life advice. i'm a damn good mom.

my smoking doesn't have anything to do with my kids. i don't smoke around them. it doesn't affect them at all. if i didn't smoke they would be affected negatively by the health problems i'll have for the rest of my life.

and if a mom chooses to smoke recreationally, that doesn't make her a bad mom either. nobody bats an eye if a mom drinks wine or ppl drink a beer in their free time. so why do ppl make dumb comments like this about weed? alcohol is so much more harmful than marijuana and doesn't even have the many benefits that smoking provides to ppl like me and others who use it for medicinal purposes.

educate yourself and stop giving out unsolicited parenting advice because you sound like a dick. "to put it bluntly" and this topic isn't even about being a parent. its a personal choice. 🖕🏻

#ask #marijuana is medicine #worry about your damn self

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jjkrereadlb · 11 months

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Ch 222

Sukuna says gojo has the last finger which is entirely plausible but NOT confirmed yet

Theres a mummy which i was told is sukuna’s own mummified body but its actually not confirmed??? If anything last chapter it looked more like tengen then sukuna

Sukuna says “did kenjaku… or rather tengen… do this ironically?” what does this mean. This sounds like tengen and kjk are like the same being under different names (???) or maybe that one of them was the one who wanted to make the mummy and asked the other to do the work for them??? Idk

When gojo says “its just the three of us” referring to himself shoko and ijichi shoko answers “there’s one who hasn’t fully recovered yet.” Id jump on the chance to say its nobara but i think they’re talking of people who went to school with them so who? Nanami is dead for sure bc they confirm it one panel later. Mei mei and utahime were i think both older than them (already professional sorcerers while they were students) and anyway neither of them received any major injuries in shibuya and they haven’t fought in the culling game. Geto ofc is the obvious option but I wouldnt describe his current situation as “not fully recovered yet” lmao unless its a weird translation thing again. Who else is even left??

Im sorry but meimei setting up a livestream of the gojo sukuna fight is fucking hysterical. like that makes sense. Id be watching that shit if i were in jjk world. Shitting myself in fear the whole time too but still. she’s giving the people what they want.

Yuuji is fighting someone(i think that guy from shibuya without a CT but im not sure) and yuujis body(?) calls the other guy itadori. I see now why ive seen an increase in people saying yuuji has kjk’s bodyhopping. Honestly it could be also bc i dont understand what else could possibly be going on . Maybe this is someone elses CT that we havent seen so far (utahime? Idk) and they’re using it to have yuuji sneak up on sukuna/kjk under false pretenses??? Idk

Theres also whatever the fuck this ^ is. Not even gonna try.

Kjk says if theyd left sukuna’s side gojo would have killed them. So theyre sure gojo could easily beat them in a fight. Good to know for powerscaling & matchup predictions ig.

UTAHIME IS BACKKKKK crossing off a bingo card! Thanks gege! Now tell us her ct.

I love that everyone slaps gojo on the back but inumaki kicks him. Like he still has one arm 😭😭 legend behavior honestly. Id kick him too if I knew i could get away with it

MIWA APPEARANCE!!! We still haven’t been told what she was doing in the CG when we caught a glimpse of her. Im betting we will see it in a flashback and it will be important and also i have a feeling some new new shadow style will make an appearance through her.

Sukunas deranged grin in the very final panel… what can i say. Daddy.

#sukuna #kenjaku #tengen #gojo #shoko #ijichi #yuujis body #222

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analoghorrorexplained · 10 months

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Hi, this ask is probably gonna be lengthy. But I wanted to say your posts on UrbanSPOOK are really good and perfectly nail everything wrong with the series, which is why I wanted to run something by you

I ended up finding the series pretty late into its prevalence (5 episodes in) and I’ve been going back and forth over my opinion of it with how split the community is over whether it is a masterpiece or problematic

Ultimately I’ve come to the conclusion that ‘The Painter’ does have a unique premise and impressive art, but poor execution in terms of blatant insensitive/inappropriate theming and an inconsistent story (which the creator has even admitted himself to be simply a way of promoting his art)

Which is why I personally want to try remastering the series. My goal is to polish it and fix the glaring issues, such as obviously removing the unnecessary ‘content’ and retouching the story to make it accurate and understandable. (I also intend to recreate every piece myself instead of directly reusing all of Slug’s art since I have some art skill)

I’ve been conceptualizing for the past month, but that’s as far as I’ve come. Besides the problem with original story currently incomplete (and most likely staying that way should the reception deplatform him), there is simply too much to fix to the point I’m not fully confident I can remake a well-thought out portrayal completely on my own.

I want to know your opinion on a possible repaint (literally) and if you have any advice on fixing the broken storyline, it’d be appreciated before I formally decide to do this or not

I am going to be honest: the only thing that does work about the series is this idea of having the villain be a person and not some sort of existential threat or disease. That, and having the killer have a gimmick like leaving paintings behind. That is about it and all I will praise. Everything else either conceptually or in execution is a dumpster fire.

One of the biggest points of re-write here would be the Painter himself and his motives. At the moment: we have no idea why the painter is doing what he does nor is there really a pattern to his behavior. Real serial killers do not act like this. There is usually some sort of greater reasoning or motivation to their choosing their victims. Some serial killers favored people with certain features or were in certain communities. Others tended to kill in a certain area or have a specific way of doing it. There is usually some sort of clear pattern or patterns set. So far the Painter just seems brutal for brutalities sake and it adds very little to the story. There is no reason for the painter to be as brutal as they are or for them to target the people they do. In the 6 episodes we have seen of UrbanSPOOK at the time of writing all we know is what the painter looks like (kind of) and that he kills/paints people. This second thing can even be debated since it is implied there is more than 1 person behind what is going on. We have no hints of motive or patterns. Being angry because a victim got away isnt enough character development for 6 episodes worth of story. Painting and taunting the police isnt either. Being a sexual degenerate isn't. The painter is just a hollow character with no real defining traits other than "he does fucked up shit".

For a painter re-write you are going to need to fill those gaps at least somehow. Presuming the painter is human, which I am going off of the assumption he is: why the fuck would he kill people so brutally. Why is there this fixation with rape or forms of sexual trauma/violence? Why does the painter paint their victims? Does the painter incorporate their victim's remains (IE: teeth, hair, bone shards, blood, etc) into the art somehow or are these paintings painted before the killings even happen? Why is any of this happening and why would the painter be doing this? You dont have to lay all your cards on the table right away. But to have a compelling story: you gotta have more than what we are shown at the moment. Its not enough to keep me hooked since its ALL over the place. And despite being all over the place, we still dont even know anything about who the painter actually is beyond their crimes and why they are doing what they are doing. This also goes for the victims and any other additional character. What is the point for them being there and why should we care about/hate them? What are they doing to push the story forward (or create a story to begin with)

Secondly, there is going to need to be major edits in terms of presentation, how info is given to the viewer, and how events in-universe happen.

As I mentioned before the series suffers from not really having an overall story to tell and from not using the format its in well (which leads to additional logistical problems for the story down the line). I do not think UrbanSlug really understood the setting of his own story or the genre he was putting it in. To fix this, you need to think about how this story might actually appear in an analog format (IE recordings of old news broadcasts, safety briefs, PSAs, websites, etc) and how those might look depending on the time and place your series is set in. I would hesitate setting it any time after 2000 since we are moving away from Analog tech in the 2000s which makes the format the info is being displayed in a lot more confusing. But I would really think about just how this shit would look if it were happening in real-time in the time period you have chosen. Would the police address this publically? Would victims be interviewed on the news? Would there be stories about this floating around? Would there be briefings? Would there be any reason to lie to the public about what is going on? Is the painter producing some of the content we are seeing? Where are things taking place and what technology does that place have that can be used as a storytelling device?

I would also really be careful of plotholes and inconsistencies. For example: the "incompetent police" trope is really overplayed. In urbanSPOOK proper: it seems like the police all have brain damage from being hit with a brick by the painter too hard. They do not seem to be doing anything and only serve as a way to explain why we know about the paintings or how we know how these people died. They serve no general narrative in-universe purpose other than to be exposition dumps. Same with the sexual violence and gore. There is no reason for things to be they way they are with the info presented and due to how inconsistent it is presented. And the fact the Painter was somehow able to kill both active duty and retired cops (one of which was also a farmer) in the deep south without getting shot or caught is impressive and also nonsensical since he is just a guy. The police more or less seemingly discovered the painter's hideout. Why the fuck is nothing being done to track down who that is? Cops have died they took one of their own. Would that not be additional motivation to keep on fighting harder? And with the wax bit, how the fuck was that even possible given how the painter got into the house and the things in the area? Why did the painter have any reason to sew the twins together or rip their genitals off? Why does the series never mention the swamps at all even when its set in an area where those are common? Why is nothing from the setting, time period, or environment taken into account? What should be taken into account? If there is a variable (like post-9/11 gun culture in the south, the fact gators and swamps are common in the area the story is set in, or realistic police reactions to things) are all things you need to think of when crafting your story. Would it make sense for the painter to be able to travel really far distances in a short amount of time or would it make sense for a news broadcast or police PSA to leave out all identifying details and locational details when talking about something?

If you cannot find a reason for something existing within the story, do not include it within the story.

And finally, I would like to stress that while having extreme violence or SA in your story is fine: it should not be used as a gross-out factor. If the main point of the narrative is to be like "look at this guy, he is so evil, he killed a person in a violent way and fucked a dead child" and that is the extent of where things go: you have a terrible story and a poorly handled topic. This kind of goes along with the "dont include things in your story that serve no overall purpose" point. But you owe it to the victims of these crimes, your audience, and everybody else to address this topic with respect and not blind sensationalism. There can be a lot of different ways this manifests in practice. A lot of it will have to do with research and how a topic might fit in your story. But it needs to serve a purpose beyond being gross and horrible.

TLDR:

Make things have a reason for happening and have that reason make logical sense for the story. If it does neither do not include it.

Take advantage of your setting and of the format your story is in to help tell it (and make sure your story makes sense for both the setting and format)

Make things semi-logical so we do not get any more candlewax mound/people being terminally stupid incidents. Stick to your own universal-rules or the laws of reality and do not rely on suspention of disbeleif.

Do not rely on shock horror to tell your story or use it as a crutch to try to get the viewer to love/hate something constantly

Have more than 1 character that does something

Follow your own rules of reality and when in doubt, do research

Try to avoid filler/repetitive episodes/points as much as possible. If you find yourself saying the same thing over and over move on to something else or cut out that point

Have an idea of what your endgame is before you begin writing the series

TLDR TLDR:

Write a story first, make art later.

I hope this helps. Idk how much can logistically be done to fix it but you can attempt. But itll take a lot of ground-up work.

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fanfiction-artist-prototype · 1 year

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Actually you know what, I was going to go to bed since it is 2.30 AM right now, but I have opinions!

Retellings of classics/fairy tales can be so so GOOD especially when they add more representation or explore new avenues through which to view the story which allows us to see aspects of the story that have been forgotten/wouldn't have been appropriate to focus on in the time period they were created/vastly distributed. Even the 400 pages of smut woth an excuse of story retellings can be good because hey you wrote what you wanted and yes it was set up for smut but you actually sat there and wrote something!

And I know I've bemoaned books that strip stories just so they can write smut before, but that's aimed at books that pretend they aren't just smut. The people who from the gey go basically establish within 100 pages these guys end up in bed have my respect. You're open, honest and ironically enough aren't messing about with foreplay here.

However my issue lies with the influx I've noticed recently on bookinsta and booktok of "diverse" retellings of classics/fairy tales that ... just aren't?

Like on booktok I recently came across a user claiming that now that the Great Gatsby was in the public domain as of last year they were going to be writing the gay gatsby book. As if people haven't been writing literal fanfiction for years of Nick and Gatsby, as if there isn't an entire area of novel analysis designated to the idea of Nick and Gatsby as not only a couple but also as metaphors for different forms of sexual repression within 1920s American society. Like there's nothing necessarily wrong with it, but it's being marketed as something so new and fresh... when i know for a fact within the hours of it becoming public domain there was a great Gatsby retelling but if they were animals, at least 3 Great Gatsby but Nick and Gatsby kiss and the great Catsby published.

Or the fairytale retellings that are queer, but aren't actually retellings or based on the stories. They're using the names for attention.

In particular a recent one I found was a beauty and the beast retlling but Gay. Promising so far, I was imagining like bear jokes you know? Maybe a twink joke, a medieval appropriate fuck boi joke about Gaston.

No.

The prince falls in love with his guard (its supposed to be based on the Disney film) not the Princess (Belle is a peasant in the film) but its all a okay because she's a lesbain.

Again how the actual fuck is this a retelling or even inspired by specifically as the author DOES specify the Disney version!?

Just write queer fairy tales nobody will stop you.

"But proto it's for exposure, it's for the algorithm!"

And anybody who has any interest in reading that goes beyond being spoon fed tropes and wattpad level descriptions won't want to read a book when the marketing itself is deceptive!

It just annoys me because like I said retellings can be so cool -ie hamlet and how it's set in EVERY time period or that one Macbeth adaptation set on a council estate where the Fife lords are drug dealers in Sussex- but nowadays people DONT want to wrote retellings they just want to use the concept and they disregard everything about it and then hide behind diversity cards. And what annoys me so much is that its mostly cis white authors being pushed.

What about the POC authors who are writing queer/POC/ other forms of diversity such as disability stories? Why are they being suppressed when they actually fit the description???

Like for instance cinderlla is dead!? Personally I didn't enjoy it but its a retelling, of the story of cinderella with its own twists and turns!!

#rant

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thecoloroute · 8 months

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Back To School Shopping List for A College Freshman Art Student

Hi guys I went to RISD a few years back but I do remember looking up this question. if you're not going to college just yet but are interested in art, it could be super useful to get comfortable using the tools/mediums below. even though i know most teachers give a materials list the first day, i needed to be prepared way ahead of time because of my anxiety. in my case, i was told id get a list in person, but walking in with an empty bag just felt wrong to me lol??? i ended up bringing a couple things, but missed a few vital essentials so here's a list of everything that i can think of. read to the end for my wagon epiphany that i think all art students should adopt (if they havent already)

-a notebook or planner (lined). some professors will hit you with extremely important info right away and wont always tell you to write down what they're saying but 90% of the time its important stuff you dont wanna miss

-a sketchbook. this can help if they throw a quick exercise at you and you have to write/draw something quickly. i blanked and didnt bring a sketchbook from home (because i was told id need to get certain types according to the teacher's specifications) but looking back idk why i didnt?? first days are hectic. actually the first week lol. anyways there were single sheets offered but honestly having your own right off the bat helps for organizational purposes, saves time, and IF YOU'RE LIKE ME, prevents the need to get up in front of everyone

-writing utensils. I'd recommend a nice pen and a set of drawing pencils (doesn't have to be anything crazy cause your teacher will most likely request that you buy more advanced/specific tools later on)

-headphones. every teacher is different, but usually art students will be given little tasks to work on during their first day in class at college. I was not clever enough to remember to pack my headphones, and the silence in a room full of focused art students can be especially unnerving when you're nervous. Hearing a student's questionable music taste can be equally unnerving, so make sure to pack those.

-snacks/drinks. this is kind of a branch off of the last one, cause again it can get sooooo quiet in these classrooms/studios. Pack snacks to prevent belly grumbles. I have heard it happen to many people in my classes and i am a victim as well. stay ready

-sunglasses. seems trivial but super important because you'll probably be walking around outside a lot your first day. this is the typical college commute, up down and around the streets.

-MONEY. I AM GOING TO PUT THIS IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE THIS WAS BY FAR MY BIGGEST MISTAKE LOL. UNFORTUNATELY, STAY STRAPPED WITH CASH OR CARD BCUZ! SOME OF THOSE ART SCHOOL PROFESSORS ARE A LIL BOUJEE AND WILL SEND U RIGHT TO THE CAMPUS ART STORE DAY ONE. It was very overwhelming for me, and some might think its common sense but idk my entire school career you always get some time after school to buy that stuff. they really sent us shopping ten minutes into class so be aware or look broke like i did.

Other than that, all the stuff you'll have to potentially purchase that day will be specified by the teacher. If you're worried about getting the wrong thing, don't be. The students get to go together and the teacher gives very specific details about the products to buy, which the campus store workers are well aware of. Off the top of my head, i remember being sent to get materials for a few different classes throughout the day. I'll list them here without the brand specifics (1. cause i dont know and 2. cause it may not match what your teacher will want anyway) just to give you a general idea.

-large ruler, metal, 1 yard (3 ft)

-clear plastic t-shaped ruler for drawing

-sketchbooks, drawing pads (of all sizes)

-a large portfolio (looks like a gigantic black totebag for big art papers)

-sewing kit

-string

-muslin fabric

-ink pens

-drawing pencils, different sizes

-drawing charcoal

-white paper drawing blender, a good eraser

-a toolbox for the drawing materials

-gouache paint

-brushes, pallets

-oil paint crayons

-a tool box

-ink pens like harry potter

That's pretty much it. If you'd like to grab some of these things before hand it should be fine, but for the most part id stick to waiting just to be safe.

Also a side note: I was a commuter so i could run home and grab my materials collected over my entire life but not every student is this lucky and some of their homes are thousands of miles away. if ur a traveling bird like them, it could be very VERY useful to pack some cool materials and tools like idk holographic paper or a jar of crystals because CAMPUS ART STORES ARE VERY EXPENSIVE!!!!

Also....... i know it sounds a little ridiculous but there were many many times i wished i had bought a wagon to transport things around campus. imagine me with a like 4ft portfolio bag the size of my body, a pencil toolbox, another toolbox for actual tools, my backpack, any projects i may have brought, a coffee if i am holding one??? and god forbid its a rainy day and i needed my umbrella lol.. it looks & feels difficult anyway trying to lug all the stuff art school requires.. so thats just some food for thought. Imagine a cute pink wagon?!??

anyways thats a wrap, have a lovely school year artists!

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dapperrokyuu · 1 year

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Round 3 Teaser Analysis

So I wanted to drop my thoughts on Round 3’s teaser before it drops tomorrow because I have tons of them, actually! Ivan as a character is currently very intriguing and mysterious for me because my speculation of his personality when Sweet Dream released has been destroyed pretty much due to Till showing off his own character, lol. For the sake of simplicity, we will go in scene order of the teaser, refraining from showing every single frame despite me thinking theyre all very interesting. Lets go!!!

So the teaser starts off showing a group of kids and an alien on a rooftop, with one child being held off the edge of the roof. The alien then looks over to who we presume is Ivan, and then we see Ivan staring up at the sky, as it is reflected in his eyes.

I personally think this part is the most ambiguous. Why are these kids on the rooftop? Why are they being held over the edge? They could be getting threatened, but why? Potentially, they could be getting disposed of. Theres a sense of secrecy with the scene being set at night and in seclusion. I do think Ivan is at least held over the edge, as him looking at the sky is alluding to how he may have thought itd be the last thing hed see.

This is a very reaching theory, but I had this thought so I might as well put it. Im also open to the possibility that those children were being tested for their “durability.” These thoughts have quieted a bit, but with the allusion of humans being viewed by aliens as how humans typically view their pets (information from a livestream that can be viewed here), the concept of designer babies, genetic engineering, and purebreds come to mind. And with how ultimately, aliens still treat their pets worse than humans treat theirs (along with the hierarchy nature of alien society in general also from that livestream), a sense of general sadism and/or pure disregard for “pets” that dont live up to an alien’s expectations comes to mind–both notions implied with the very notion of Alien Stage itself. The presence of genetic engineering could exist to create the perfect prized human “pet,” and durability could be a valuable criteria. If a lowly human cant survive a drop off a building, well…who cares! Is the thought, lol.

Another frame that contributes to this idea is…

Here you can see Ivan being presented with tattered clothes (from being thrown off a roof, perhaps? A potential past rebellious streak like Till? The other kids have their clothes intact…). Theres an alien announcer beside him, and theres information presumably about Ivan on a screen. So theyre showing him off, and theres features that are notable about him. Maybe its purely appearance, maybe even his “cry” quality. And since the purebred showdog image is comparable once more, maybe theres genetic engineering involved? A friend pointed out the cards in the forefront of the frame, and we both agreed that this scene may be an auction.

Thus, Ivan gets out of Some Situation somehow, and is put on auction to be bought by his current “master” (dont know a good word for this, lol), who we can assume is wealthy due to the abundance of food in the frame after. I personally assume his current master is this alien shown at the end of the teaser, as they are highlighted in this frame and Round 3 could be expanding on that aspect of the ALNST universe. Returning to sequential order, this assumption of mine is actually confirmed with the frame of Ivan (I assume) winning his first prize and being petted by his master. The black tie, red shirt, white scarf-like thing, and hand matches between the two images.

If this werent interesting enough, we move on to an event between Ivan, Till, and Mizi…

This entire instance is the most revealing of Ivan’s character so far, as the teaser until now depicts Ivan as stoic (beyond scared from being held off a roof). Ivan lets Till pass him into a corridor (more on this later), and while Till is preoccupied on chasing down whats likely a flower gift for Mizi, Ivan follows behind him. Calmly. Unconcerned.

This isnt a question of whether the corridor is unusual; its no secret from the environments in My Clematis and Sweet Dream that a significant amount of time is spent in simulation spaces. So theres very much a possibility that all the cast are aware and comfortable with these corridors. But if not–which I still think is a possibility due to whats found at the end of the corridor–how Ivan just lets Till go into unknown territory demonstrates a lack of concern for Till. The lack of surprised or curious reaction from Ivan himself shows his awareness of the space too.

(Tbf, the Sua and Hyuna frames in Sweet Dream are a bit of theory on my end, but I cannot explain the literal "texture.png"s on the hallway in Hyuna's frame otherwise, and Sua's frame would allude to how she was always aware of Alien Stage's circumstances.)

Anyways, Ivan finds Mizi and Till in what one could assume is a dangerous situation: an alien before them, while Till is crouched upon the ground. I personally interpret the scenario as Till finding Mizi, assumes shes in danger, tries to protect her, and gets hurt. I actually have thoughts about Mizi here, but this is already long enough, lol. And Ivan notably…does nothing. As close as he may be depicted to be with Till in other ALNST content, Ivan does not lift a finger to try and help him. He sticks back, waits, and sees.

Of course, we recognized that the situation resolved fine somehow, since all three are alive in present times.

The teaser ends with Ivan’s round starting, and some aliens look at him in anticipation and/or awe with his master (above). Whether you want to humor my silly designer baby theory or mayhaps its a product of Ivan’s rewards from his youth, all the aliens seem to have high expectations for him. All eyes are on him.

I have some potential thoughts about Ivan and Mizi’s dynamic, but thatll be in another post with my Mizi thoughts, probably. Currently, I view Ivan as someone whose brush with death as a kid leads him to prioritize his survival. The culmination of his life prior to that experience, the auction, and being rewarded for getting rewards has led him to become Very Cutthroat regarding competition–for the sake of survival and likely being treated better than if the alternative happens. To apply this idea to the scene above, I think he wouldve been completely fine if both Mizi and Till died at that moment. Otherwise, he would observe what they could do in tough situations; thats why he was so attentive.

Cultivating his survival skills more has likely taught him to be more emotive in his present form, in order to better appeal to his alien audience. As of now, he likely feels in control of his situation and emotions, but that will probably change once he kills Till, as I currently predict (I used to think the opposite, haha!).

If you read this far, thanks for listening, wow, lol. Have a wonderful day!

#dee p thoughts #alien stage #alnst #vivinos

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kamoegoi · 1 year

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was last month absolutely miserable!!!! yes!!!!! but its pioneer rcq weekend lets fucking goooooooooooooooooooooooo decklist and card choices beneath cut

Main Deck

4 Kumano Faces Kakkazan

4 Soul-scar mage

4 Monastery Swiftspear

4 Phoenix Chick

4 Play with fire

2 Wild Slash

2 Spikefield Hazard//Spikefield Cave

4 Skewer the Critic

4 Light up the Stage

4 Bonecrusher Giant//Stomp

4 Chandra, Dressed to Kill

4 Den of the Bugbear

4 Ramanup Ruins

1 Sokenzan, Crucible of Defiance

11 Mountains

Side Board

1 Obosh, the Preypiercer

2 Soul-guide Lantern

3 Rending Volley

3 Rending Flame

4 Rampaging Ferocidon

2 Goblin Chainwhirler

so yeah its pretty standard obosh burn. my sb is pretty much the same from the last rcq i went to, but i swapped out my companion breaking greasefang and azorius control package for ferocidons. at the last rcq i saw 0 control, but lost to sacrifice when i know i couldve won if i had been able to turn off those inkeepers. rending flame has felt pretty bad every time i brought it in, but i know the meta in the area the rcq is happening is pretty spirits heavy if i recall, so i think it will be very funny if it looks the way i remember it.

ive jsut sorta conceded that i am going to get washed by rakdos, devotion, and greasefang (and also fires now) but i just havent really been able to go over tournament reports in the last few months for like a few reasons so i havent been able to figure out a plan and test it out (not that i would get many shots to because our local is sorta drying up rn and i dont like playing digital). really debated playing the 4th volley to just dunk on spirits and izzet, but i think what ive got for them is already p good and i think the match up with izzet is fine because most izzet pilots ive seen get overwhelmed by their own deck and will probably be exhausted and scuff their matches with me by the time i have to claw over them in losers bracket.

i wouldve liked to try roiling vortex for the fires list, but im skeptical if they will go that far against them given the lists online seem to run full sets of temporary lockdown and leyline binding and those are already gut punches for me so it seems not smart to make them even better agaisnt me? or should i play them to force them to answer another threat idk. genuinely, so scared of the decks running maindeck temp lockdown. that is going to be a nightmare. im also sorta scared of the humans list. ive played against it a few times and i just feel like thalia and extraction specialist are so demoralizing to play through.genuinely considering running.... idk magma spray or something, but that seems ill-advised.

but what can you do. i wouldve like to try out a torbran verison of the deck. i saw some lists floating around that use torbran with kari zev, eidolon, ferocidons/chainwhirlers for big synergy and looked cool and fun, but i couldnt track down the kari zevs of all things and i am sorta apprehensive about the embercleave versions of the deck, as much as i love resolving embercleave onto annax on an emotional level. but also im essentially palying this version because i adore obosh on that same level too so who knows. we’ll see how it goes. a sloppy tournament report to come. because i can get to this one alone and leave alone/whenever, there is a chance i will drop early and go home if my prospects become unsalvagable to preserve other people’s tie breakers so maybe the report will be shorter too.

#personal rambling #ive lived in this burn deck my whole life and they are going to pry these lightning bolts from my cold dead hands

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tarot-tea-cafe · 1 year

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1, 3, 6, 18-20?

the fool: whats a mistake you may have made when starting out or something you often see baby witches do that you wish they didnt/wasnt so common?

i started divination way too early, got myself into things without realizing and paid the price for it. i see this happen to a lot of people though, not just baby witches, ghost hunters and new mediums too.

3. the high priestess: whats your favourite bit of witchy knowledge or your favourite bit to research?

dunno about my favourite piece of knowledge but my favourite thing to do research on and look into tends to be associations (what abc is often used for xyz and so on). my favourite part of writing the tarot posts is what the card's associations and common interpretations are ^^

6. the hierophant: is there a set of rules you go by in your craft?

i partially follow the wiccan rede (basically just the three fold rule), and my own moral code ig? as long as its not against another persons will, dead or alive, almost anything goes, just know what youre getting yourself into.

18. the star: whats something, spell/media/charm etc, that calms you or cheers you up?

witchsona art. i love seeing all the different designs. that and herbal magic or witch stories. or even just watching shows like lwa.

19. the moon: whats a rumor you heard that you arent sure is true or not?

im not sure, i dont exactly interact with the witch community anywhere in general so i havnt heard any new or recent things.

20. the sun: whats something youre very proud of?

im very proud of myself for getting this far. ive come a long way since i started and i know way better now than i did back then. im proud of myself for learning and improving and allowing myself to be open and share.

#ask answered #players speaks #customer asks

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solardick · 2 months

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The emperor

CHARLES THE GREAT EMPEROR

The King is victorious in the Lord; and in the mercy of the Most High he will not be moved.

Thais is because the emperor is sided with the pope.

In waite’s version the emperor which was typically drawn in profile suggested a state of indifference. Its back facing the pope and it’s front facing the Empress, was drawn facing the querent. I separated the eye contact. Into its own being and gave the emperor back his profile.

Probably the worst card in the deck.

I wanted to add vision, and dominion, to responsibilities into the deck. The card, odd if it’s profiled. And not direct, and political. As the masculine doesn’t sidetrack. Though these responsibilties of state and structure need attending. This may be replaced by the infinity card. As the emperor here serves to the land. Materially, politically, financially… as long as it sustains and governizes world structure. For the emperor may also serve here in the personal when robes comes off and it’s dragon has say. The dragon here is more likely in power in various forms of warcraft Or dealings with the physical world itself. Involving all the “ally”’s. Easier to corrupt.

At any rate i don’t think its even possible to get a better card image than that. The emperor staring off into the sun. The eagle surveying the land.

And they keep talking about the girl. They want my attention on her…. Ugh. Ok. Ill give you guys something. She has a sweet little virgin mothers body and id tap that. So hard. Apparently they leaving soon or somesuch. But there’s zero dialogue. I learn nothing. And the youngness doesnt bode well for a relationship, Thats what i see in her. A mother to be. Its not everyday i see a girl that i would like to sleep with. The first one in a good long while. Oh well, i just avoid her now. I tried being social, didn’t work. Bye. Too bad we didn’t work the job together. It would have turned out different. And we’d be more open and sociable together. But, to separate it from sex. Because, that isn’t my disposition. From day one. When she first saw me. There was/is something in the way i am that draws her attention to me. Truth? Ruse? At first, i didn’t pay it heed. Cause, it’s my first day and I’m here to get “oriented”. But after awhile, and the way she acted around me. Playing the dumb broad. Puyting her ass in the air. The purposeful avoidance of eye contact. Is where i started to worry. Oh, and the day she flirted with her co-worker while looking back at me and smiling.

Later on, after the avoidance, it was slow. And i liked watching the production line at work. Get a feel for how it work, for something different to see. The people on the lines, movement, all that. One of the days i did this, she was working at the far end. The build up of blocked energy, the constant listening to others talk about her or at the least mention her. Joined in on the guy talk, anyway, a chancr to see how she moves when im not around. I liked ehat i saw, she’s a good competent worker. Then she turns her head, and locked on to me. I don’t pause, and then she turns around faving aeay from her line. I stay gor a second longer, drum a tap on the skid and go do whatever task. At the end of the shoft she then has it arranged to walk around the corner as im leaving and stares me down. Any appraoch of be social was kept to pre-set no’s. And still avoidance of eye contact. (And yet, always looking my way, if i dont at the same time. I see it in my periphery. I tried a bit longer here and there. Social, flicked for a second. But that was all. So now, i don’t know what, involved with fucken with me? Young, dumb and, naive? Working out frustration? Conveniently being in certain places at certain times. Ok, im done bye.

Don’t ruin my Emperor with your bullshit. It’s like the only good masculine card in the deck.

It’s like one guy surrounded by women, and connected to destruction, loss and solitude. If there was ever a more potent feminist elitist tool out there bound on taking out the king. It’s bot very user friendly.

But the cards are still fun to play with. The searching and puzzling. And i yet couldn’t get in to it. Because wtf is this crap? So i started fiddling with it. Connected dots. And then one day i sat down pulled out the cards to the typewritter layout. And placed each one of the added cards into spot. Just like that. And i kept them like that since. Switching the U and I cards a chose. Because it just made more sense that way.

This of course happened each time i unraveled something else. The high priestess card. She’ll pull out all you need from your memory. Being, a feminine “water” card. (At the time) means that the information isn’t logistic. Its more of a feeling based intuition. Which is why i think she should be kept. But my goal here is to make the deck a little more masculine friendly. In a way that doesn’t dramatically alter what’s known to it. For this causes backlash. Take away a Childs pacifier. Candy from a. Baby and all that. And people will start acting even dumber than im capable of.

Here we want you to wear thise light weight comfortable gloves so you dont cut and scratch her hands, which we need from you. And people start bitching and complaining. And im like. F@$&en’ pussies. Everybody wins. You dont het hurt, your taken care of and production isnt halted. This connects back to the wheel card and industrial production. The “hey ho, let’s go” mentality which is a requirement.

Think i got permanent lung damage scaring for a Christmas present this year.

And it doesnt matter. What one does with the cards. When changing images or modifying the deck. It doesnt matter. On the larger scale of things. It will have no impact in the environment. For no one else will have it. It cant travel. Self closed route. Only if it’s distributed. Then whether anyone knows about it it will get into circulation. But at first keep the circle closed. A close net, network. If it’s alive. It can grow. And now the author has it’s own “paradise”. And that influence eventually grows into the populace. Shaping reality.

Oh the grandeur! The judgement is good.

As you can see. I had little choice in the matter the strength card had to go. It works fantastically, on the political constitution. As of a few of major civilization have the national day on one if not both strength and justice cards. I had to go to astrology to find the connection for austrailia.

As in the american fealty of oath thing they do or used to do everyday before class. That’s a strength justice layout. So it really doesn’t matter if it’s classical strength as violence or strength as harmony. Because in this context it’s plainly visible. Conditional programming. Neither of them though say nothing about fortitude. The tower certainly doesn’t. Neither does the emperor. Wearing armour. Fortitude is a defensive name. Violent strength, under the guise of fortitude speaks its own message. Naw, its pressure from the world. One which one may easily shoulder if what it is serves another purpose of raising it higher. To elevate. That. That is golden.

The emperor isn’t as alone anymore.

As it turns out, the new fortitude card, is still connected to the strength card for harmony. For it is connected to the world card and comes back to the fortitude card by letter. So now the fortitude card shows the masculine elevating his woman. Supporting for her as much of the world as he can.

Or it will show oppression, guilt, shame, depression, debt or anything else that weighs on one’s conscience and spirit. It shows the unwielding. The unfolding against pressures of state. And this brings this card to a Saturn.

Vagina.

Looks better card size. The card for infinity. The dragon here serving in the realm of heaven. Is born of the strength card and of the magician card. One two three. The father, the mother, and the holy child. The number eight when not taken as two separate O’s. One way to look at look at it. The magician is a tricky card when considering layering cards and the various depiction of it. None are wrong in the sense that the sum collective answer is always very near the exact question. As above so below

Or as below so above. Which seems just as accurate. Power of manifestation. Which may just as easily be born not knowing what. The A fool, covering its eyes. As is the ace of the minor arcana without form or knowledge. It’s there. It’s started but it’s isn’t there yet. Though the dragon comes before all this. And would actively sort be god. Or the angel on charge of overseeing opérations. And yet also serves as the masculine principle. The instinctual drive. It can serve as any other card. And be found onto every other card as the fool is suggested to be in the tarot. I’m tired so pardon my sloppyness.

#tarot #tarotblr #qwerty #Emperor

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harmcityherald · 10 months

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I was 100% correct about the dispensary. patients will still need to pay 200$ to get their medical card while jimmy joe bob in front of me gets scott free AND there's no days for patients only. just think they say you (patients) get all these great deals we run instead. recreational dont get that measly 20% off. the great deals that ain't so great and you are out of stock now anyway. you people fucking suck. give me my weed you fucking pirate. I have to tell you the loyalty I had to this place is now dead. I need to find a patients only dispensary. dont exist. why? capitalistic greed. lies from the state oh we will set aside the highest strains for patients. the ones that cost the most, mind you. boy what a fucking favor. im so beside myself. if it were fucking true. stock is fucking gone. I had to choose what I didn't want and pay extra for it. I made no bones about it. cash out all my points Im not coming back here anymore. you shit on your patients who are supposed to be your priority. so Im on the lookout for a better experience as a real patient with my fake ass medical card that I have to continue to pay for according to some shitstain in a suit up in Annapolis state hall who has never even smelled weed but he sure is taking my 200 a year for the weed license which in the state of MD you get cannabis card you can not get a concealed carry license. so Im gonna bet the recreational shitheads have no such restrictions only us patients who followed the rules and paid our dues diligently. we bare the brunt of the taxation laws. we gotta pay for the license, we can no longer carry concealed protection but the fucking crips ahead of me in line have no problem whatsoever. fuckong state of Maryland. what a fucking joke. we pay higher taxes than the rest of the country to live in a crumbling city infested with rats and 9 times out of ten has been honored as the murder capital of the entire united fucking states. they tax you coming and going and even once tried to tax us for fucking rain. rain!! they tax us dry like wringing out a rag for every last drop of blood they can suck from you. and in Baltimore we see none of those taxes go towards anything usefull. our roads are like endless crumbling pot holes destroying our cars and defacing our neighborhoods. my neighbors and I all have 4 wheel drive suvs and its even tearing them up because these fucking side streets are like mountain ranges. its fucking unacceptable. those taxes we pay in the fucking billions goes nowhere in the city or county except into the deep pockets of all the corrupt politicians in baltimore. and don't even try to tell me that the Baltimore city in Baltimore County police forces are in fucking cahoots with the area gangs. They stand back take their cuts and only see what they want to see. Unless of course, which we've had quite a few of them in Baltimore, are the cops that are totally on the take and are out there making their own money on drugs and prostitution and whatever else they can get their hands on. I know I've been guilty at times of saying all cops are bastards but I'm actually too intelligent to actually fall for that because there are some good cops out there and they sure are drowning and swamped in a sea of the fucking corruption. And don't even try to tell me that the politicians and the police in Baltimore are in the pockets of the gangs. There's so much money to be made and they sure are making it off the backs of the citizens of Baltimore. So as far as I'm concerned from the top down from the politician and the police Chiefs down to the officers working the street and into my dispensary where these fucking clowns are pretty much doing the same corrupt things that All State agencies do. The best thing to remember is that your dispensary is not a state run agency it is a for-profit business and they do not really give a fuck whether you are patient or a drug dealer or a teenager hookin school if you got the money baby they got the stash. Fuck them patients. We going to get paid.

I hate America. And somehow I'm supposed to feel a privilege through all this as if I'm privileged in some way. Every fucking thing under the sun is a crock of shit. Learn it early and you won't be disappointed by the amount and tonnage of shit that you will find in your life. Thank you very much ciao now and have a good day I'm going to go be miserable somewhere else.

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lostinmusicswaves · 1 year

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tldr if you dont wanna read it

I am just feeling all these energies shifting in the wrong ways. I had been doing alright for so long….. but lately I am full of rage and self hatred and wanting to disappear.

Coworkers thank me for being calm during the shitshow that we work in. They praise me for being a positive part of their day. And its true, I can definitely feel more at ease at work and I give more of my genuine energy to my coworker friends because someone has to be the rock and I can do that far more easily than others there. I can set boundaries and fight myself and my team against managers and execs trying to undermine and belittle us.

Outside of that, I can be there for my friends and give them love and energy in ways that I never get at home. I want the best for my friends and I love them so wholly that I’ll happily sacrifice for them.

And when it comes to my own mental wellness, I’ve been going 5 years on therapy. And don’t get me wrong - I have made so many positive steps and changes for myself in many ways. Mentally, physically losing weight, transition goals being met. I have had personal successes.

And now it has been just weighing me down like a boulder in my chest, threatening to drown me in the river. Im having gender dysphoria and envy, body dysmorphia, suicidal ideations, and back to the familiar feeling of not being enough in any capacity. While driving or being at home around family I feel intense rage. I want so much to be in a different place in my life but I feel stuck.

I Hate Myself So Fucking Much

I dont deserve to live, I just waste space and time and I will never get anywhere. I dear I am trapped and will never have a way out. One of my absolute best friends/pravtical sibling will be leaving the country by this time next year and I will be here. Alone. A failure once again. Especially since our other friend has already moved cross country and has been thriving more.

But here I am. Useless, technically in poverty if my taxes and w2 forms have anything to say about that. I havent self harmed in about 3 years but GODDAMN do I want to bleed myself out at least a little bit. The one thing holding me back is trying to not fuck my skin up anymore so I can get the tattoos I want to get. I dont know whats wrong with me. I would love some time to just be alone in a secluded space. Myself, my games, a book, and a fuck ton of alcohol. But I doubt even that sort of reset is in my cards. Im well and truly fucked for peace at the moment and I can only hope that it will change. Saving grace is that Im stupid fat fuck, useless and lazy as shit, so I will not be killing myself but goddamn do I want a break from life.

#depression #hate myself #sewer slide #daydreaming about fucking off into the void #tldr #sorry if you read this #im stupid and useless and shouldnt waste your time

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jewishrevolutionary · 1 year

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Poverty is not actively recognized in our country nor in the discussions of politics, and I feel deeply hurt and demotivated because of it, especially as someone who has been forced to live in the lowest sectors of it. It ends up being a discussion only used as a trump card, not a regular talking point that needs to be actively recognized. Milenials and Gen Z is the most in poverty, despite all the opportunities people had in college or elsewhere.

Ever since I got kicked out of my parents home, I have moved to the slummiest parts of my state's capital and I live in this shitty, broken down apartment that has lead paint in certain areas, mold in (possibly) the floor, the walls, the ceilings, and other areas. Our bathroom sink and toilet barely work, the refrigerator is broken down, and for the first 6 months, the lock to our front door was completely broken.

In all of that, I and my boyfriend have gone through a plethora of jobs. My boyfriend started talking about unionizing in his first job, got fired almost immediately. His second and third job was too stressful to keep up with mentally. And only now did he get a job that only gave him part time hours.

My first job was too far away to keep working in and they didnt even respect me for all the shitty work they put me through when we only had a skeleton crew. My second job, i got fired for taking a very small tip from someone. And the job Im currently working for is full of shitheads who've gotten recently promoted and are barking and kneeling for the owner and his shitty decisions. (For example, we had a foot and a half of snow and everyone avoided the topic of closing early and shamed me and another coworker for not coming in when it was too unsafe for either of us to leave) I also broke down sobbing during a stressful rush and was blamed for not communicating with my manager about the rush.

Either way, regardless of my own treatement and how much I can tell you about the treatment of my boyfriend at his workplaces, we're still in deep poverty and our rent is going to definitely increase, with the fact that we dont have a car yet that can help get us to and from places. And this constant feeling of dread that I cant escape this has made me so much more less hopeful than I was before.

I have nearly lost my faith in leftist/communist/anarchist movements because there is zero groups in sight in my state and anywhere near where I live. I have tried getting financial help by setting up GoFundMe's, public kofi's or anything. And the constant struggling and difficulty with my recent schedules have made it impossible for me to engage in any of my own artistic interests becsuse of the sheer amount of demotivation I've been through.

I want to be happy, I want to live a fulfilled life, but I dont want to be stuck under this constantly pressuring system that will harm me for not having *credit* and being a young adult.

I need money for a car, but no one is willing to spare because I'm seen as too young and inexperienced. I need credit for getting an apartment, getting a car, getting ANYWHERE, and I fear debt like no one else in the world.

And it has only made me more and more hopeless, because this a problem that is seemingly everywhere, but Americans dont talk about. They wont support each other through it, and I and my boyfriend have talked to people, have tried getting support, but we only get scoffs, angry mullings about making sure we make our own lives better, and advice that gets us nowhere. My boyfriend was told by everyone except his immediate family that trying to unionize was dumb and would have only led to his firing. That he needed to just suck it up and get better.

I want to have hope in people, but this last year has been so dejecting for me and my hope. I dont know what to do anymore. It hurts me a lot that there isnt anything for me to do. I, my boyfriend, and their sibling might become homeless because of the rent increase in the next 3 months, and I feel too dejected to even ask for money anymore because I know no one has money anymore.

I'm just going to end off on the note that I'm not planning anything. I just am going to survive. And if anyone wants to help, I just need help with saving up for a car so send me a DM or something. I have about 1200 between me and my boyfriend.

And be sure to ask everyone you know about their situation, be sure to help as many people as you can. I've been doing it despite my poverty, and it's because I have money to spend for myself that I know would be used better. It only takes a little to make people hopeful, and doing nothing makes them lose their hope.

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