#as always it started as 'why hasn't anyone written about it

[4xiaojun]

DEAR DIARY, I HATE JUNGWON !

SUMMARY | you hate jungwon- like a lot. everyone at your school knows it at this point, so why is it the minute you see him shed a tear, you feel bad? with this new found guilt, you're able to see new sides of jungwon that your anger blinded you from before. it doesn't take you long to realise that you don't hate these new sides of him as much as you'd like to.

PAIRING | jungwon x fem!reader

WC | 18.2k

WARNINGS | profanity, violence, vandalism, mentions of alcohol & sex

FEATURING | second lead sunghoon, heeseung is mentioned & ITZY

TAGLIST | unofficial taglist i just need the hype pls @tyunni @geombyu @yjwfav @junityy @jaeyunverse @ijhyo @equalheart @odxrilove @iyeonjuni @fairybinie

A/N | before u come at me for plagairising I AM HYUKAAS OKAY THIS IS MY FIC AHAHA IT'S A REPOST initially i was going to rewrite this but u all loved the og version so i'm going to give u the og version i literally have not changed a word. u guys gave this a lot of love on my old acc so i hope u enjoy :)

-

you: wtf

jung_1: ?

you: chemistry club??? really?

jung_1: i wanted the piano club

you: so what? me going isn't going to stop u

jung_1: u think i wanna see your face every day after school? 

class is enough smh

you: so u signed me up for chem?

jung_1: it was the only one left lol

you: stfu

jung_1: k lol

From what you can remember, Jungwon hasn't always been like this. You've tried to sit down and pinpoint a date back to when this all started, but the best you could come up with was when he blew out your candle at your eleventh birthday party. That was the first and last time you had ever invited him over to your house.

The two of you are neighbours, and yet you've never had a single decent conversation with the guy in your entire life. Ever since the two of you were little, Jungwon always found a way to laugh at you, talk shit about you or do something to purposely annoy you. Your friends always warned you not to do anything back, that he was only doing it to draw out a reaction, but it was so hard not to whenever you saw his stupid face. The fact that he's so popular in school doesn't help either. Whenever you complain about him to anyone, you're always met with the same thing: "But he's so nice to me." "He's not like that with me." "You must have done something to upset him, Jungwon is the sweetest."

Yeah, sweetest pain in your ass. There is literally nothing about him that you like. It's clear to everyone that you hate Jungwon. 

-

Sitting on your chair, you rest your chin on your palm as you stare at the whiteboard. You're fuming, to say the very least. Written on the board are everyone's names under the club they'd be joining as soon as the bell rings. Yours is supposed to be under piano club but instead it's under chemistry with only one other person who signed up. You barely even know who he is.

"Who's Sunghoon?" Your friend, Yuna, whispers.

You recognise the name (being in the same school for 3 years, it would be kind of rude not to) but you don’t really know who he is. “I think it’s the guy that ice skates.”

"He's so cute," Yuna gawks, "you're lucky you're gonna be alone with him for the rest of the year." 

You scrunch your face at your friend, before letting out a long sigh. "Yeah, doing chemistry." Fuck Jungwon, signing you up for a club that you're already failing in class, just so he can go to piano. You purposefully ran to the piano club stand so that you could sign it before him, but that asshole must have rubbed out your name and written his instead. As much as you despise him, you have to admit that was a clever thing to do. 

Yuna slaps you lightly, "Maybe you can get him to tutor you for free. I heard he gets people to pay him ₩75,000 per hour."

"No, I'm pretty sure the point of chemistry club is to have fun. He's probably gonna be a nerd the entire time," you grumble into your palm, already miserable about the hours and hours you're going to have to spend with a science nerd. There must have been dozens of clubs with spaces still available; Jungwon could have picked another music club, a sports club, literature, art, history, debate, politics, or even maths for God's sake. But the boy chose chemistry. He knows that you're failing all three of your sciences, so not only did he remove you from your favourite club, he put you into your worst enemy—second to Jungwon. God, did you want to pull out his stupid black hair right then.

“You’re not going to let him win this one, are you?” Yuna deadpans, probably bored from your endless war with Jungwon. You don’t blame her, if the tables were turned, you’d probably say the same things she does. “Just leave it.” “If you ignore him he’ll stop.” “Be the bigger person.” Blah blah blah. It would be humiliating to let Jungwon get away with anything. You can’t even imagine it, coming into school everyday and hearing him laugh at you as if he has the upper hand. You would never ever let that happen, not even over your dead body.

Brushing your hair out of your face, you chuckle breathlessly. “As if.” There is absolutely no way in hell that you would let Jungwon get away with ruining your after school club for the rest of the year. You had to come up with something big, something that would make him suffer just as much—no, more—for the whole year, too.

-

Sadly, you didn't have enough time to come up with a plan.

"Okay, so why is a fluoride ion bigger than a sodium ion?" 

You groan loudly, whacking your head against the table for what feels like the fiftieth time. You've been in this room for ten minutes with Sunghoon, and he's already managed to make it boring as hell. Optimistic, you came into this room hoping that Sunghoon would come up with some cool science-y project for the two of you to do. Instead, his idea of fun is extra homework. The guy seriously brought question packs for you two to do for a whole hour. 

What a joke.

"Sunghoon, why are you asking me like I know?"

He gives you a judgemental look, and at this point you're too bored to care about how stupid he thinks you are. You should be practising the piano and making keyboard remixes on the iMacs, not memorising the periodic table with a nerd. 

"Come on," he breaks into a nervous giggle, "this is like, the third question. We haven't even gotten to the hard part yet."

No. There's no way he's taking this club seriously. Dramatically, you push back your chair and glare at him. "You know what, I'm going to go get something to drink. You answer some questions while I'm gone, yeah?" You fake smile at him, unable to look at his nerdy face any longer. God, you hate science kids.

Skipping out of the classroom, you make your way to the vending machine. You need a warm drink to calm your stress down but the cafeteria is too far away so a bottle of apple juice should do. Anything that gives you an excuse to stay away from Sunghoon so that you can focus on your plan to get your revenge on–

"Oh, Y/N! What a coincidence!"

There it is, that dreaded, child-like voice you've grown to hate. Turning around, you're met with his half closed eyes and grin so upturned you can see his baby teeth. If you weren't in the middle of paying for your drink you would have slapped that smirk right off his face. Okay, maybe not, but it's really pissing you off. 

"Yeah right, you probably came here to laugh at me." You grumble, fumbling with the vending machine that's choosing not to be on your side today. 

He smiles again, shoving his hands in his pockets and shrugging like the oh so innocent boy he is. "I just wanted to check up on how you're doing in your new club. I understand, Y/N," he puts a hand on his chest, pouting, "I really do. Chemistry isn't for everyone."

You whip your head at him immediately, causing him to snort into his hand and break into a laughter that echoes in the empty hallway. "Wow, Jungwon, you're so funny. Don't think for a second that I'm going to let you get away with this."

He comes closer and leans his elbow on the machine so that his head is right above yours, his eyes locking right onto you. Every time he gets close, you're reminded of when Yuna tells you to take a good look at him to see what all the girls in your school sees. But all you can see is an arrogant, stuck up piece of shit—his only entertainment being getting on your nerves. You can see why someone would find him attractive. But his personality is so strong that it practically covers all of his charm to you.

"Admit it," he laughs, "you can't beat me this time. This is one of the best things I've done, I'm kinda' proud of this one. I mean, nothing beats the–"

"Shut up, I am going to beat you. As soon as school's over, I'm coming up with something." You scowl, punching the vending machine so that it will let your bottle fall.

Jungwon coos at you, finding this whole situation amusing. "Aw, is it that hard that it's taking up all your brain space?" He asks in a baby voice. "You can't think of a plan better than mine because you're so busy trying to figure out what O stands for?"

Too focused on the stupid machine, you ignore the menacing voice coming from your left. You've smacked it, shaken it, kicked it, you're not really sure what else there is to do.

Jungwon pushes you out of the way and resets your order, making your jaw drop as you see your bottle that was so close to falling go back to its spot. You shove him back, annoyed that he thinks he can do whatever he wants just because he's stronger than you. "Hey, that was–"

Jungwon sighs dramatically, before bringing out his wallet from his pocket and pulling out a credit card.

"Show off." You mumble, crossing your arms as you watch him dial his order.

"The machine clearly doesn't like you." He smirks, as his coke falls immediately.

You try to hold back how shocked you are, and the urge to ask him to order for you. But with the way Jungwon snickers at you, you can tell he already knows. It isn't like he's going to order for you anyway.

And you're right, because here he is, popping open his can and sipping it right in front of you. He's acting like he's in a commercial for the drink, all just to wind you up. But you can't let him win, you'll never let him win. So you stay, and watch him drink until the last drop and walk away slowly. 

Absolute pain in your ass.

Dear diary,

I hate Jungwon.

You're starting to get sick of starting all your diary entries with the same thing. Jungwon isn't even here; you're in your room, alone. There's nothing to remind you of him. Yet every night, you sit at your desk and scribble in your diary. And every night, you start off each entry reminding you that you hate him.

You flip through your diary entries of the past few weeks, and they're all starting to blur together. Each entry is almost as similar as the last. It's all the same thing—you hate Jungwon. You see him in the morning of school, your mood changes. You're reminded of him in your chemistry club, you get angry. You walk behind him on the way home from school, the two of you are arguing. 

When the hell is this going to end? 

To be honest, thinking about this is just making you hate him even more. The worst thing about this is that you can't even walk it off like you usually do at school. You're used to pacing the school corridors or the track field whenever he makes you really mad. But outside of school, you always meet him. It's either him, or his annoying and inappropriate older friends, or his evil dog. You'd rather rot in your room than risk having to waste your energy fighting with him, or running away from his dog, or pulling your skirt down from his friends. 

You're trapped. He gets to enjoy his life while you're trapped at home, writing “I hate Jungwon” in your diary every single day. The power this guy holds over you is huge, and you just can't wait to move out to college to finally get rid of him.

Walking down the hallway, you bump into your chemistry partner of the past two weeks. To be honest, you don’t think you’ve ever seen this boy outside of the chemistry club, so seeing him now, walking tall, hands in his pockets and a lot of other students around him was quite a shock. You really thought he was nothing more than a nerd. 

As soon as Sunghoon lays his eyes on you, he smiles widely and you can’t help the way your heart flutters a little at that. Did Jungwon really make you so angry about chemistry that you never noticed how good looking Sunghoon is? Or are you just that bad at it that you had no time to focus on Sunghoon’s looks? As he walks away from his friends and towards you, you gulp, brushing down your hair and skirt with your palms that are starting to sweat. You see this guy every single evening, what difference is it now? 

“Hi Y/N,” he smiles, one hand sitting attractively in his pocket and another rubbing the back of his neck.

“Hi,” you reply, but your voice comes out as barely a whisper. You’re a little frightened at how shy you are in front of Sunghoon right now, when you were literally cursing him off in your head yesterday because he laughed at you for not knowing an equation. 

He chuckles, and you swear your heart flips at the way his eyes crease when he does. “You know, I was starting to think that you didn’t even go to this school. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around.”

Well, at least the feeling is mutual. “Yeah, me neither. I didn’t realise you’re kinda popular.” You say as you eye his large group of friends that are all waiting for him. “It must be the ice skating, right?” You joke, mentally slapping yourself for being rude.

Sunghoon laughs anyway, and he leans forward when does, making your heart nearly jump out of your chest. “Yeah, either that or my brain.”

“Nerd.” You playfully roll your eyes, finally being able to mix together the Sunghoon that gets all excited when he’s got a hard question right, and the Sunghoon that’s standing in front of you right now.

A voice interrupts the two of you. He always does. Whenever you manage to find a little bit of peace at school, Yang Jungwon always finds a way to ruin it. You’re so close to getting him charged for stalking at this point. Both you and Sunghoon turn around to see who was clearing their throat, and you almost growl when you do.

“What do you want?” You snap, not giving him the time of day.

Jungwon tilts his head with an offended look on his face and a hand on his heart like he always does. “That’s rude, Y/N, I was just–”

“She said what do you want.” Sunghoon deadpans beside you out of nowhere.

Jungwon furrows his brows, as do you. Nobody has ever come between the two of you bickering before, this was new to the both of you. You decided to stay quiet and see what Jungwon would say, a little nervous at how this might all play out. 

“What?” Jungwon chuckles, jutting out his chin to make himself appear taller. The two are practically the same height, but something about Sunghoon’s figure makes him seem so much taller than Jungwon. Are you about to witness an alpha brawl out?

Sunghoon doesn’t move, you don’t even think he’s breathing right now. His eyes are trained on Jungwon’s with a glare so intense even you’re a little scared. “Is there something you need to say to Y/N?”

Jungwon’s brows remain furrowed as his eyes narrow and an annoyed look spreads across his face. How ironic, he’s starting to look like you. You don’t think you’ve seen Jungwon this physically frustrated since the time his bike broke when he was thirteen and he tried to kick it but ended up spraining his ankle. He always looks amused. No matter the situation, Jungwon always has a smile on his face. Seeing him like this—threatened—caught you a little off guard.

“I can say whatever the hell I want to her, pretty boy.” He muttered, his face inches away from Sunghoon’s.

Someone behind you whispers something about their sexual tension, almost making you snort at the scene. You have to purse your lips together to stop yourself from laughing, because now you can’t unsee it.

“Well, too bad we have somewhere to be, don’t we, Y/N?” Sunghoon turns to you, and all of a sudden you can feel everyone’s eyes focusing on you.

You giggle awkwardly, before making eye contact with Jungwon. He’s never glared at you like this before, and for the first time you can think of, you feel small in front of him. “Uh, yeah, we should, uh, get going.”

Sunghoon grins at Jungwon as soon as you speak, and barges past his shoulder aggressively before pulling you by your wrist to go and follow him. For some reason, though, you can’t help but turn around to see Jungwon standing there, already looking right at you. 

-

“Sooo,” you sit on a desk as Sunghoon closes the door to the empty classroom the two of you are hiding in behind him, “you gonna’ explain what just happened?”

Sunghoon leans on the desk right in front of you and looks at you blankly, like what just happened didn’t happen at all. “What? You didn’t like it?”

“Like what? Jungwon’s probably going to be so mad because of this.” It’s true, the bike incident when he was thirteen led to him being extra rude for the whole time he was injured. You figure this time it’s his pride that’s hurt, so he’s going to lash out at you until he makes himself feel better. You haven’t even gotten back at him yet for the chemistry club situation, so you really don’t want to be dealing with a moody Jungwon; you’re scared of how creative he’s going to be.

Out of nowhere, Sunghoon lets out a dramatic groan, throwing his head back in vexation as he does. “Come on, Y/N, aren’t you bored of it?”

Confused, you answer. “Of what?”

“This whole cat and mouse deal you have going on with Jungwon? I remember being in the same class as you in our freshman year of high school, and everyone in the class was sick and tired of you two bickering everyday. I thought it’d blow over eventually. How are you still letting this go on?” 

You open your mouth to respond but nothing comes out. Of course you’re tired of it. Of course you want it to end. Of course you want nothing to do with Jungwon and you want a peaceful last year of school to focus on your exams and college. Of course you want to be able to hang out with your friends without thinking about Jungwon. Of course you want to write in your diary without mentioning him. Of course you’re sick of this all. But how the hell are you supposed to end it? You hate his guts and he hates yours. His pride may be thick but yours is definitely thicker.

This situation reminds you of the time you did try to be nice to Jungwon once, with the hopes all of this mess would end.

Your mum just got off the phone and suddenly bursted her way into the kitchen. A little startled at her fast movements, you followed her and sat on the counter. “Mum? What’s wrong?” Panicking, she gathered different ingredients and kitchenware to cook something, and you couldn’t be any more confused. “Mum! What’s going on?”

“The Yang family,” she started, already mixing away two eggs, “their son is sick. This is the only time she has ever asked me to do anything, Y/N. That family has looked down on us ever since we moved here, and not once has Mrs Yang ever asked for help. But she’s away, and her boy is at home sick without anyone to feed him. If I don’t make a good impression on that snobby little boy, they’ll think we’re incapable and cruel human beings. I have–”

“Okay, okay,” you laughed, not really thinking much of it. As far as you could care, Jungwon could starve. “As long as I’m not the one delivering it,” you mumbled, leaving the kitchen.

Of course you were the one delivering it.

Releasing a long sigh from the pit of your chest, you tried to put aside your pride and hatred to drop off the tray of food for Jungwon. You tried to remind yourself to have some humanity, that he was sick and alone and needed some food. The only thing that managed to help you push through was imagining him begging on his knees for food from you and you holding the tray away from his sick hands’ reach. A little evil, but it helped you press his doorbell.

When Jungwon opened the door, you could feel your heart sink to the ground. All those mischievous thoughts in your mind about teasing him flew out of your mind as soon as you got a good look at his face. He was extremely pale, and his eyes were red and glassy. He looked frail, like a single touch could knock him over. You gasped when you saw him, and immediately took a step inside to go and help him anyway you could.

“Hey, hey, are you okay?” You asked, placing the back of your palm on his head that was drenched in his sweat. “Oh, my God, you’re boiling. Jungwon, take your coat off.” Placing the tray on the ground, you tried to help him take off his coat but he wouldn’t budge. Looking back at him, he had a disgusted look on his face.

“What the hell are you doing? My mum said you came here to give me food, not baby me.” He shrugged his coat back on to stop it from sliding off his shoulder and snatched the tray up from the ground.

“What? I’m trying to help-”

“Who asked you to? Piss off, Y/N.”

Standing outside of his house, you were shocked. You were just trying to help him. You put aside the feelings you two had towards each other because he was sick. Even sick Jungwon is an asshole, you thought. That was when you made a mental note to never be nice to this guy ever again. He didn't deserve it.

“Y/N?” Sunghoon waves his hand in front of yours, forcing you out of your daydream. 

You shake your head, “Oh, sorry. What were you saying?”

Sunghoon stares at you for quite a while without saying anything, letting you scan his features freely. His dark hair extends at the back of his neck, kind of like a mullet, and it suits him a lot. His eyebrows are sharp, and you inwardly frown at how they look better taken care of than yours. His eyes aren’t anything special, but they’re looking at you intently right now; they look heavy, like he has a lot to say. Sunghoon’s lips, however, God you could stare at them forever. They’re so pink and plumpy, he’s definitely a good kisser.

“Are you staring at my lips right now?” Your eyes snap back to Sunghoon’s eyes in horror that he caught you. He laughs at your reaction, so you follow, covering your mouth with a hand. “So what’s the deal with you and Jungwon?” He asks after the two of you have calmed down. 

You shrug, wanting to avoid his question since you already ask yourself that every single day. “Nothing, really.”

“So, you just argue for fun? Masochism, I like it.” He chuckles, and you dart your eyes at him. “No, no I’m just saying, if you can’t even tell me why you two argue, what’s the point of doing it?” 

It’s a genuine question. It’s a question Yuna has asked you, your teachers have asked you, the other girls in your friend group have asked you, your parents have asked you, but most importantly one that you’ve asked yourself countless times. And you’re annoyed because the answer is there is no answer. You don’t ever remember doing anything to offend Jungwon when he first moved into your neighbourhood or your school. You just remember him being a little shit, thinking he could walk all over and bully you. But your dad brought you up differently, to stand up for yourself. That’s why Jungwon’s always on offence, and you always seem to be on the defence.

“I never start anything,” you look at Sunghoon, and you find it heartwarming how he’s listening so intently, “He’s always the one that approaches me, so I just bite back. If I never did, I would be crushed by now.” You explain, fiddling with the edge of your sleeve.

“So Jungwon’s a bully?” Sunghoon asks, and your body suddenly feels tons heavier. You hate that word, it just doesn’t sound right. 

“No, not a bully.”

“Sounds like it.” Sunghoon shrugs. “He’s mean to you so you’re mean back. Except it’s been going on for years.”

You get up from the desk and sit on another, feeling a little uncomfortable with this situation. “Um, I guess? It doesn’t bother me that much. It’s just becoming repetitive at this point. Today’s the first day he didn’t say something stupid. It was relieving, you know.” You explain, a smile unconsciously growing on your lips. 

“Don’t worry,” Sunghoon comes over, his wide chest blocking your field of vision, “now that you’ve got me around, he won’t bother you as much.”

-

Dear diary, 

I had fun today.

It’s only half way through your diary entry that you notice you didn’t start it off with the infamous “I hate Jungwon.” Actually, reading the entry made you realise how little you even saw him today. The only time you spoke to him was when you were with Sunghoon. How long has it been since the two of you didn’t have a petty argument? You find yourself smiling down at your diary, a wave of relief washing over your body at the thought of Sunghoon being your first step to freedom. 

You also find yourself smiling when you started scribbling down how fun your chemistry club was today. You and Sunghoon barely even finished a question, the two of you talking and laughing the entire time. He even promised that if he was ever free, he’d give you occasional free tutoring for chemistry. Life would be so much easier if Jungwon was more like Sunghoon, wouldn’t it?

Somebody should have warned you that your happiness is short lived, because while you were giving Yuna a detailed update of everything to do with Sunghoon, Jungwon’s voice echoed behind you. You promise yourself that one day, you need to creep up behind him and his friends and cut them off because this was really starting to piss you off.

You and Yuna turn around, both you offering him the exact same defeated look. 

“That Sunghoon guy,” Jungwon starts, taking slow steps towards you. “Since when did you two get close?”

Yuna scoffs loudly, putting a hand on her hip. “Why? You jealous, Yang?” Yeah, as if he would be. He’s probably jealous of you, seeing that tension between them yesterday.

Jungwon laughs sarcastically before turning back to you so fast you had to flinch your head backwards. He was a little too close for your liking so you stepped back. “Yeah, you wish. No, I’m just asking because he’s an asshole, and I don’t want to have to talk to him every time I wanna annoy you.” 

You push his shoulder away from you and laugh in disbelief. “Well, why don’t you just stop trying to annoy me then, huh?” You could tell what you said threw Jungwon off guard a little by the way he twitched his brows. This is the first time you’ve ever seen him take a second to come up with something to say, usually it’s second nature to him. You smirked, thanking God for giving you the upper hand today. “Aww, are you insecure, Jungwon? Does Sunghoon make you insecure?” You ask in that irritating baby voice he always uses on you. “Are you jealous because you’ll never have hair as good as his? Or because you’ll never be as good looking as him? Are you sad that–”

“Y/N, I’m not the one that attracts the opposite sex through pity.” 

That shuts you up completely, and your confidence withers to bits. He’s got that same disgusted look on his face as that day you went to visit him. It’s not like he’s never said something as harsh as that before, so you’re not really sure why this is affecting you so much. As embarrassing as it is to admit, that really hurt.

“First, he has to witness how horrible you are at chemistry. Then he saw you speaking to me, and probably felt bad for you. And let’s not even mention your looks.” Jungwon continues, peeling off every layer you’ve been forced to wrap around yourself ever since you met him. Slowly, he’s stripping away your pride, your dignity, and even your self esteem. “You think I’m jealous of a guy that sleeps around so much he probably has STDs? I think our fighting has made you forget that I also get girls, Y/N. I just don’t flout them for attention like he does.”

“Let’s go,” Yuna whispers, tugging on your sleeve. Your eyes are on the ground, unable to meet Jungwon’s. You’ve never felt so insignificant and helpless in front of him before, your body is unable to catch up with all these new emotions. “Come on, Y/N.”

The two of you are walking down the hallway, making your way to the bathroom. Tears are pooling in your eyes, something Jungwon has never managed to make happen. You feel so stupid, so stupid for letting him break you after all these years. All these years you wasted arguing with him almost every single day of your life. For what? What did either of you get out of it? You’ve never even stopped for a second to consider the words that you two were saying to each other, how much you were hurting each other. Well, you doubt you’ve ever really hurt Jungwon. He’s probably jumping up and down right now, cheering at the thought of finally winning. You just hope this means that it’s all over. You’re exhausted.

“Y/N?” Sunghoon’s voice appears just as you’re about to follow Yuna into the bathroom. 

You feel your breath grow heavier at the sound of his voice, humiliation rippling throughout your body. Maybe that’s why this affected you so much. Maybe it’s because Jungwon was calling you an idiot for thinking Sunghoon liked you. Because apparently he’s just another popular boy. And because apparently, he's just been fooling you.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Hurriedly, he walks up to you and places a hand atop your head, his doe eyes boring right into yours. You want to push him away so hard and tell him to go find another girl to play with, but all you can do is stare back at him. “Look, come here.” He pulls you away from the safe space of the female bathroom and right into the disabled ones. 

You don’t know why, but as soon as Sunghoon locks the door, your tears start falling against your will. On instinct, you turn away and bring a hand to stop yourself from sobbing audibly. If what Jungwon said is true, you cannot let Sunghoon see you crying. You’ve read enough romance books to know that bad boys love it when a girl is vulnerable. But Sunghoon doesn’t speak; you’re not even sure he moves. The room is silent, albeit your quick breaths and occasional sobs. At this point, you’re just letting your body move on its own. Your mum always tells you it’s best to cry it out, to let your emotions ride out their course. So you decide to stay there and continue to cry into your already soaked hands. 

Once you’re done wiping away your cheeks and rubbing your eyes, you make your way to the mirror to see what you look like. If Sunghoon wasn’t in the room you would have cried all over again just from seeing your reflection. “Ugh, I’m a mess.”

Sunghoon giggles, and lifts himself up from leaning against the door to come stand behind you. Gently, he brushes away strands of your hair from your face and fixes your collar for you. “I think,” he makes eye contact with you in the mirror, “you look just fine.” 

-

Dear diary,

Unfortunately, I still hate Jungwon.

“No, why are you starting it like that again?” Yuna huffs beside you, probably disappointed at your relapse. It’s been a week since Jungwon made you cry, and it’s been a calm week, too. You never told Sunghoon what happened, but he’s been staying by your side at school since. He likes to call himself your personal bullmastiff, and that he scares away Jungwon who’s only a sheep. Although you’re still terrified that what Jungwon said about Sunghoon being a manwhore is true, there’s still a part of you that hopes it isn’t. You’re hoping he isn’t just hanging around to get in your pants.

“Because I’m mad, Yuna. If we’re really ending this, I can’t be the only one that’s upset about it. I need to think of one final thing to get back at him. Something that will really hurt him.” You explain, really disappointed in how much you’ve been lacking this school year. You haven’t gotten him back once, and it’s frustrating you.

“Hm, what about his motorbike?” Yuna asks, an evil glint to her eyes.

“No.” You shake your head. “No way. I would love to, believe me–”

“So why not?”

“Because his parents would kill me!”

“Oh come on, that bike costs to them what a piece of gum costs to us, Y/N.”

“No, I heard him tell his friend. You know that pervert, Heeseung? Yeah, they were talking about it and Jungwon was saying that it’s from a limited series and that his parents had to fly out to Thailand to bid for it.” You whisper, for some reason you don’t really know. “Thailand, Yuna.”

“Okay, why don’t we wear masks? We can get Sunghoon to help us, too. You know, like them ski masks.” Yuna motions the mask with her hands, a persuasive look on her face. You’re tempted to, you really are. The thought of taking the only thing that Jungwon seems to have human feelings for away from him is very tempting.

“But wait, he wouldn’t know it’s me.”

“Uh, Y/N, that’s a good thing? If he knows it’s you, you’d be sued.” 

“Oh, yeah, true.”

“We can enjoy our victory from afar, okay?”

You suck in a deep breath. “Okay.”

-

This may be the worst idea you’ve ever thought of in your entire life.

Here you are, standing in between Sunghoon (who Yuna had to convince for hours to come along) and Yuna. The three of you are wearing your ski masks, but Sunghoon is too much of a cheapskate to buy a new one so he’s wearing his dad’s bright blue mask and making the three of you look stupid. 

“Okay, on the count of three–”

“No wait!” Sunghoon’s voice squeaks as he whisper-shouts.

You and Yuna whip your heads into his direction, stunned at his voice crack. “Sunghoon, you’re the only guy here!” You whisper-shout back. “You can’t be the scared one.”

“I have never broken the law before, if I get caught doing this my parents are going to kill me, Y/N.” He panics, yet neither of you can take him seriously with his idiotic mask on. 

“What are you talking about? I’m pretty sure you broke about five laws driving us here in your mum’s car.” You snap, before looking at Yuna. “But maybe he’s r–”

“No, guys it’s now or never.” Yuna whispers, before tugging on both yours and Sunghoon’s sleeves, running ahead. Your veins are booming so loud you’re worried someone will be able to hear it. Arriving at the tail of the motorcycle, you raise a trembling finger to touch it. You gasp when you do, already mentally hearing the sounds of sirens coming closer and closer.

Yuna pulls out a hairpin and shoves it into the keyhole of the motorcycle while you and Sunghoon crouch and cower behind her, failing to keep a proper look out. This feels so wrong, but it’s too late to go back now. Sunghoon’s stupid mask is probably plastered all over the CCTVs already. You’ll probably need a miracle to not get yourself landed in prison.

Yuna whimpers as she struggles to switch on the engine. You’re starting to panic even more now, the thought of this all going horribly wrong circling your mind repeatedly. “It’s not working!” She yells, and you and Sunghoon look at each other with wide eyes. 

“Go help her!” You motion at him, your heart drumming louder than it ever has before.

“What do you mean go help her, why don’t you go help her?!” Sunghoon doesn't budge and only tightens his hold on the tail of the motorcycle.

“No, I’m keeping look out!”

“No you’re not, you’re looking at me!”

“Will you two shut up and come help me?!” Yuna screams, and you shoot up to go over and help her. It’s useless, though. No matter how much the two of you twist and turn the hairpin, the engine doesn’t turn on. “Why isn’t it working? We practised this like a thousand times!”

“I don’t know! Maybe because it’s a limited edition?!” You scream back, the plan blowing up in your face. 

“Fuck!” Yuna slams the head of the bike in anger as you start to lose control of your breaths. “I think I’ve broken the keyhole.” 

You groan loudly, closing your eyes to think of a way to fix this. Trying so hard to calm yourself down, you attempt to come up with another plan. It’s either that or the three of you need to escape—now

But as always, Jungwon’s voice interrupts you. His timing is probably his only positive attribute.

“Hey!” He barks at the other end of the road, making you and Yuna look at each other like you’ve seen a ghost. He’s running as fast as he can, so much so you can see his forehead shining under the street lights. 

“Let’s ditch the bike!” 

“No! We can’t let this all be for nothing!” 

“Out of the way ladies!” Sunghoon’s voice appears out of nowhere, and you turn to see him standing over the bike with a large pole in his hands. Oh, my God. Instinctively, you and Yuna jump off the bike and run behind Sunghoon to watch him do his dirty work.

You poke out your head, trying to catch your breath and a glimpse of Jungwon. “He’s close, hurry up!”

“No!” Jungwon screams, reaching his arms out, dread written all over his little baby face. “Stop, please!”

Sunghoon ignores him and draws back the pole before slamming it against the metal of the motorcycle. He hits it again and again, parts flying all over the place each time. He yells at every impact, like he was beating up a person. 

Jungwon arrives, and you can't help but notice his breaths are shaky and the strands of hair sticking to his forehead. He pulls Sunghoon away from you and punches him right in the jaw, a roar ripping right from the bottom of his lungs. The light sensors of the neighbouring houses switch on, and some neighbours even come out to take a peek. With the rush of the scene flowing through your veins, and the fear that all of this is for nothing, you pick up the pole that fell out of Sunghoon’s hands and hit the bike yourself. Hearing Jungwon beg like that so helplessly for the first time in your life only fuels your anger even more. Each whack, each hit, your mind flashes back to the times Jungwon hurt you, the times Jungwon forced you to build another wall.

“What’s the point of going to the school dance? It’s not like anybody wants to go with you, anyway.” Whoops, there goes the headlight.

“Oh, my God, you might as well go home if you’re going to be dressed like that the entire trip. Stop embarrassing us.” Oh no, the brake is broken.

“You failed chemistry again? Look, guys, she got 10%! What a loser!” Aw man, now the gas tank is leaking.

Before you can damage the bike anymore, Yuna pulls you back into reality. She’s yelling something at you, but your eyes can’t help but focus on Jungwon struggling against Sunghoon’s hold. 

“Please! No, please stop! I’ll give you anything you want, just get away from my bike!” 

He’s crying. 

Your surroundings suddenly blur as Yuna pulls you towards the car you guys came in. She shoves you in while telling you something but you can’t shift your attention from Jungwon who’s now given up and is laying still on the floor. He isn’t even fighting Sunghoon anymore. He’s just still, the base of his palms rubbing his eyes as his tears roll off his cheeks and fall onto the floor.

You made Jungwon cry. You made Yang Jungwon cry.

-

You're ashamed. You can't even step outside your house without making sure your hood is well over your head, hiding your face for anyone to see. There's no way anyone in the neighbourhood could know that it was you, right? You were completely covered; it could have been any two girls and a guy who smashed Jungwon's precious bike and brought him to tears.

Literal freaking tears.

In all the years you two have fought, Jungwon only ever smiles. He grins, or laughs that really annoying laugh where he throws his head back and stamps his feet on the floor. He pretends to be upset by putting a hand on his heart and squeezing his eyes shut, letting out an exaggerated gasp. He pretends to be mad by putting his hands on his hips and tilting his head so far sideways his hair looks like it's about to fall off. Jungwon is expressive, he enjoys winding you up by acting out his emotions—real or fake—dramatically. You've always hated it, but now you're praying that you're going to meet him on your way to school and he'll pretend to whine about how much you hurt him last night.

You shift your weight from one foot to the other, waiting at the end of the road for Jungwon to appear. You're not really sure why. What are you even going to say if you see him? You can't even apologise for what you've done, his parents would definitely put you behind bars. The wait is killing you, impatience stirring in your stomach at an outrageous speed. Gulping, you contemplate whether you should go knock on his door or not. Maybe he's oversleeping because he's tired from last night. Maybe if you knock, he'll wake up and nag at you for babying him like he did before.

Without really thinking, you head straight to his front door step with your bottom lip tucked between your teeth. Breathing in, you press the doorbell. His house is huge, and the noise the doorbell makes almost frightens you out of your skin. The loud ring echoes in your mind loudly as you tap your foot on the ground and keep your eyes locked onto the door. You press it again. And again. And again.

And then you wait.

But Jungwon never comes out. Nobody does. Not him, his sister or his parents. You're even hoping some sort of maid will come and open the door. But nobody does. You're trying not to overthink the situation: maybe he's just being a teenage boy and angry that his bike is broken so he's decided to skip school today. 

The thought calms you down a little bit, so you turn around to leave. While turning back to the entrance, something shiny catches your eye around the corner of Jungwon's front yard. Curious, you scuttle towards it and poke your head around to see what it is. Your heart drops when you do. There it is. Jungwon's motorcycle that you smashed to pieces last night. Laying next to it, is an open box of tools, an unfinished cup of coffee, and Jungwon's jacket that he always wears under his blazer. The guilt at the pit of your stomach spreads around your body, squeezing your heart and scraping at your throat. Did he really stay up all night trying to fix it all by himself? 

Did you go too far?

-

"Come on, you're being weird." Sunghoon crosses his arms, not shifting his gaze away from you.

Usually, you appreciate his attentiveness because it makes you feel special and gets you all shy, but today it isn’t doing you any good. You chuckle breathlessly and pull the sheet of paper towards you. "So I just need to calculate the mass of this mole, right? Using this equation?"

Sunghoon sighs, "Y/N, you know you can tell me what's wrong, right?" 

You look up to meet his heavy gaze, his face already so close to yours. "No? Just because you chose to follow me around at school doesn't mean we're best friends, Sunghoon. It doesn't mean I can pour my heart out to you."

His expression doesn't falter, a blank look sitting on his face. "Then what are we?"

You pause, not really knowing how to answer that question. You're aware that he gives you butterflies, and that you find him attractive. But what about what Jungwon said about him sleeping around? Hasn't Sunghoon stayed around long enough for it to be more than that? Or is that all you guys are - good friends? But then why would Sunghoon ask that question? 

Confused and already emotionally drained from your crime yesterday, you scrunch up the question sheet in your hand and get up from your chair. Without saying a word to Sunghoon, you leave.

-

At home, you’re lying on your couch, flicking through the channels on the television. Nothing is exciting you since you can’t seem to pay attention to anything. There are only two things on your mind right now. Jungwon and Sunghoon.

As for Jungwon, you can’t stop picturing him in that little alleyway beside his house—sweating away, hurting himself trying to fix his motorcycle. He’s probably not eaten any real food in awhile, desperate to get it back to how it was before you and Yuna came up with that stupid plan. You groan into your hands, thinking about how you never thought you’d live to see the day you’d feel bad for Jungwon. Doesn’t he deserve this? Why does this bike mean so much to him? He can just fly out to Thailand and buy another one, right?

Then your thoughts suddenly shift to Sunghoon. If he really is the manwhore Jungwon pinned him out to be, how come he’s been nothing but supportive since you and Jungwon stopped talking to each other? There are no girls, you can’t see them. The only way it would be possible is if he has this whole other life outside of school. The partying, drinking and sex type of life. He said he’s never broken the law before, but he seemed pretty confident driving his mum’s car with one hand on the wheel and another on the radio. Do you even know Sunghoon? Sure, he’s a science nerd and likes to ice skate. But what else is there to him?

You sigh when the sound of the doorbell interrupts your thoughts. It’s 10pm, who could possibly be ringing at this time of night? Groggily, you get up, fixing your bun so you look a bit more appropriate for whoever it is that’s ruining your free time. Peering through the peephole, you’re only met with a man in a black hood who’s purposefully hiding his face from the door. A little worried, you call your mum over. “Mum! There’s a creepy man at the door!”

She hops out of the kitchen with a meat knife in one hand, a frying pan in the other and a terrified look on her face. “You take the knife,” she whispers, “and hide behind me while I hold the pan and see what this guy wants.”

“Wait, why am I holding the knife?” You point at yourself, your mum’s behaviour starting to affect you, too. 

The doorbell rings again and you both flinch. “Because if he sees the knife in my hand he might attack. So you hide behind me, okay? I’m just going to open the door like an inch wide, don’t worry.” Her eyes are wide while she tries to convince you to follow through with her not-well-thought out plan. 

You do anyway. “Okay.”

You take the knife from your mum before the two of you sneak towards the door. Hesitantly, she opens it, and the thought of her life being taken right before you flashes in your mind for a second. Right before she lets out a relieved laughter, a hand on her chest. “It’s just the Yangs’ kid, Y/N. Don’t scare me like that again.”

Jungwon? What the hell is he doing here? You poke your head out from beside her and see Jungwon looking down at his feet that are awkwardly kicking the floor. “I didn’t know it was him, sorry.” You mutter, furrowing your brows at him.

“I am so sorry, Jungwon. Is there something you need?” Your mum asks, widening the door. When he looks up, you can’t help but cringe. His eye bags are heavy, and his lips are so chapped they’re peeling. Not to mention how red and sore his eyes are, he’s struggling to even keep them open. He’s worse than the time you went to give him the tray of food. You don’t even realise that you two are staring at each other silently until your mum speaks up again. “Is something wrong?”

His eyes quickly divert to your mum’s and he clears his throat aggressively. “No, uh, I just wanted to know if your husband is here.”

Your mum shakes her head, “No, he’s visiting his brother right now. He won’t be back for a few days.” 

“Can you call him?” You don’t think you’ve ever seen Jungwon speak so meekly before. It’s odd, and the thought that you may have broken him makes your toes curl.

“Yes, yes, what do you want me to say?”

“How to fix a motorcycle brake. I remember that he had one a few years ago, so I thought he’d know.” 

“Oh! Was it your motorbike that got smashed by those teenagers?” Jungwon nods, his eyes falling to the ground again. “Ms Jung showed me her CCTV cameras and how horrible those kids were. Their parents really need to sort them out.” She tuts, pulling out her phone.

Even your mum is disgusted by your behaviour last night. Of course she is, what you did was way out of line. You play with your fingers as the guilt travels further, making you a lot more jittery than usual. “My dad’s break broke once and he showed me how to fix it. I can, uh, help if you want.” It’s the least you can do, an easy repair, indirectly apologise, and throw away this stupid guilt so you can focus on getting your school life back on track. Maybe after you help him fix his bike, the two of you can finally be even and put your pettiness in the past once and for all.

Jungwon only looks you in the eyes, not saying anything. They remind you of Sunghoons’; loud and heavy. 

“Oh, okay, that’s perfect. You go and help him. I’ll bring some snacks later.” Your mum pushes you out of the house, and you curse her for doing so when all you’re wearing is a hoodie, a pair of cycling shorts, and slippers. “Bye!” She waves, shutting the door in your face before you can even speak.

Well, this is awkward. Turning around, you try to put on a smile to Jungwon, but his eyes flicker straight from your eyes to your mouth before he storms back to his house. You follow him with a huff, realising that this is going to be a long hour. Catching up to him, you throw your hood over your head and stuff your hands in your pockets to try and stay warm. “So,” you start, trying to get straight to the point, “if we’re lucky, all you’ll need to do is clean the pistons. You know, those little metal things that open and close w-”

“I know what a piston is.” He grumbles, opening his gate. “I would have done that if that girl didn’t smash it off my bike.” 

Your eyes lower as he unknowingly mentions you, and try to shake off the feeling of guilt again. You never would have guessed this would have hurt him this much. But then again, isn’t that what you wanted? “Oh,” you chuckle awkwardly, “well then this is gonna take a long time.” 

The two of you arrive at the corner, and that’s when you notice there are three more cups of coffee lying next to the bike. You purse your lips, trying to throw away the imagination of him desperately attempting to stay awake, pushing his body well past its limits all in order to fix what you broke. 

“Okayyy,” you whisper, copying Jungwon by getting on your knees, followed by a hiss once you feel the cold rocky ground. Clearing your throat, you turn to him, who still has an emotionless look on his face. You really wish he would do something right now. You wouldn’t even mind it if he made fun of you. Staring at him like this, like an empty shell, is too much to bear. “So, where’s the brake?” You put out your hand, and Jungwon complies by giving it to you. Observing it, you’re relieved that it hasn’t been damaged too much, and that it’s okay to put it back on the bike. “First, we need to take the callipers off the bike.” You don’t explain what it is this time, since he got agitated when you did it before. “Should I do one side and you do the other?” 

He nods, so you crawl over to the other side, and together, the two of you start working on the bike.

After around twenty minutes of silent working, you decide to ask a question that’s been on your mind since the second you saw him cry. “Jungwon?” You ask. He doesn’t respond, but you know that he hears you. “Why don’t you just get your parents to buy you another one?”

It takes him a while to reply, you assume he’s just busy with the clamps. “They can’t. There’s no more on sale.” 

You’re aware that it sounds a bit harsh, but you still push. “Can’t they just buy another brand?” 

Jungwon’s eyes meet yours through the tiny gaps between the motorcycle parts. “I don’t want another one.”

You sigh at his vague responses. “Okay, what about hiring someone to come and fix your bike? Or getting a friend, literally anyone-”

Abruptly, Jungwon throws the clamp onto the floor, the ring of the metal bouncing around your skull. “I didn’t ask you to come and help, you know? You offered. If you don’t want to, there’s nothing stopping you from leaving.” He spits, his eyes piercing into yours angrily. 

You put your hands up in a feign defence. “I’m sorry, I was just asking.” You mutter under your breath, a little shocked at his reaction. “I’m okay with fixing the bike, it just looked like you didn’t wanna ask so I was telling you there are other options.” 

Jungwon sighs, before picking up the clamp and getting back to work. “I know.” He mumbles, and you can hear the piston creaking under the pressure of his clamp hold. “I know there are other options, but I don’t trust any of them with this bike. I’ve known your dad for a while and I remember how much he cared about his bike, so I thought I’d just ask him to help.” The thought of Jungwon trusting your dad over his creepy friends makes you feel a lot better, but the sound of the piston about to snap distracts you.

Crawling back over, you return to Jungwon’s side. You don’t even notice that your thighs are touching each other when you reach out to take the clamp from his hands. He looks at you a little alarmed, but you respond with an awkward smile. “You’re putting too much pressure. You have to unstick one piston at a time, if you do it like that it’ll snap.” You explain, opting to do it yourself to save some time.

“How come you know how to fix a break?” He asks randomly, startling you a little bit. 

You stay focused while you answer him, your eyes not moving from the clamp. “Sometimes my dad teaches me things like this. He says he does it because he doesn’t have a son.”

“What other things has he taught you?” 

Since this is the first real conversation you’ve ever had with Jungwon, you decide not to question why he cares about your relationship with your dad so much.  “How to ride a bike, how to play football, how to put up a shelf, how to fix a laptop that’s had water spilled on it.” You giggle at the last one, memories piling into your head. Jungwon doesn’t say anything else so you turn around to see why. He’s just staring at your hands working with the clamp, so you choose to fill in the tense silence. “The time he broke his break, he called me over while I was studying. I told him that it’s not important since a motorcycle break and a bike break are two completely different things and that this would never come in handy.” You face Jungwon again, and his eyes meet yours. “Turns out it did come in handy.” 

There’s a moment, a long moment of comfortable silence with the two of you staring at each other. For the first time, you notice the shape of his eyes and how delicately pulled out they are. They’re kind of pretty, in a boyish sort of way. You can’t really believe you’ve been staring at these eyes for the past eight years without ever finding yourself swimming in them until now. 

Jungwon scoffs, breaking eye contact before taking a sip of his coffee. “I’m surprised you didn’t turn out heavy handed since you were basically brought up as a boy,” he mutters against the cup.

With that, you unconsciously suck in such a deep breath of air. A wave of relief washes over your body as you let out an incredibly loud laugh at his comment. There he is, the asshole that is Yang Jungwon. You seriously thought you broke him, but hearing him say something so rude wiped away any and all of your doubt. 

He’s back. And you couldn’t be more than happy about it. 

-

Walking into school the next day, you’re a little bit anxious. You’re anxious because:

You might bump into Sunghoon and he might start asking scary questions again

You might bump into Jungwon and have to start fighting again

You don’t want either of those scenarios to happen. So when Sunghoon spots you and says goodbye to his friends, you panic and pull onto your friend’s sleeve. “Quick, pretend we’re having a really serious and private conversation.”

She panics and tries to think of something to say. “Uh, I made out with Sunghoon at Ryujin’s party!” With her eyes shut, in front of everyone in the hallway, your friend, Chaeryeong, admitted to sleeping with Sunghoon. You spot him from the corner of your eye, freezing once he heard what Chaeyoung said, and you wait for him to come over and ask why you two are making up shit about him. He doesn’t. 

“Are you being serious right now? I said pretend, Chaeryeong.” Your hand slips away from hers as you look at her in pure disbelief.

“I’m sorry, it’s been on my mind a lot recently because he’s been hanging out with you so much. So when you said say something serious, that was the first thing I could think of.” She rushes, clearly panicked by your response.

“Wait,” you take a step closer to whisper, “When was this? Recently?”

She gives you a worried look, before turning around to see Sunghoon and then turning back to you. “Last, uh, Saturday?”

Saturday. Last Saturday. That was only four days ago. Four days ago you were FaceTiming him while he was helping you with your physics homework. Four days ago was when you asked if he could help you finally get over the Jungwon situation, and he told you that he really wanted to help because he couldn’t stand to see you so hurt. Four days ago was when you told Yuna you think you have a crush on him.

Stepping away, you give one last glance at Sunghoon. “I can't believe you,” you mutter, before turning around and storming away. You tell yourself the reason why you didn’t go up to him and scream in his face is because of the attention you would have gained, but it isn’t; you’re too scared to face him because you were already warned about him ages ago. As funny as it sounds, you should have listened to Jungwon.

-

“What?! Chaeryeong? Our Chaeryeong?” Yuna chokes on her water, surprised.

“Yeah,” you sigh, scribbling away in your notebook. “I’m not really bothered about that, I mean she can sleep with whoever she wants. It’s just, I really thought there was something between me and Sunghoon.” 

Yuna kisses her teeth before shaking her head. “Even I thought there was. Why is he always with you if he’s sleeping with other girls?” Her body simultaneously shivers with yours. “That’s just gross.”

“Maybe he just sees me as a friend. You know in those romance books where the hot guy who gets all the girls appreciates the girl who doesn’t wanna have sex with him and likes hanging around with her?”

“Y/N, they always end up falling in love.”

“Oh. Well, that’s not happening, is it?” You slouch in your seat. 

Jungwon walks into the room, and you smile at Yuna, happy to know that he’s back on his feet. You wait for him to say the same thing he always does when he walks past you to get to his seat. Anxiously, your foot taps on the ground as you nibble on your bottom lip, your eyes not moving from Jungwon’s.

Yuna taps you and leans in to whisper, “You can see it now, right?” Her eyebrows giggle, a huge smirk on her lips.

You cringe at what she said, refusing to let her silly thoughts get to your head. “Shut up,” you mutter, before turning back to see Jungwon talking to another classmate. You hate to admit it, but your eyes do linger on him a little longer. You can’t help but notice the long, dark strands of hair that almost cover his eyes. His nose and jawline are sharp, contrary to his soft and small lips. Your eyes trail down to his Adam's apple as he speaks, and you watch as it bobs up and down attentively. It’s strange that you’ve known Jungwon for so long, yet you’ve never actually taken the time out of your day to really look at him. Because he’s actually really good looking.

“See?” Yuna giggles, slapping your arm playfully. “You’re staring.”

Your head darts to her direction with wide eyes. “I’m just waiting for him to come over.”

“Nu-uh, you’re finally listening to me. I told you he gets girls.” She motions for you to lean in closer while she whispers. “Last year, I peeked into his locker on Valentine’s Day, and I counted thirteen letters, Y/N. Thir-teen.” 

Thirteen girls gave Jungwon a love letter last year? You scoff, resting your chin on your palm as you look at him again. If they knew what you knew, that Jungwon is a total asshole, you bet they’d run far away from him. “I don’t get it. Is it just because of his looks? Are they that shallow?”

Yuna shrugs from beside you. “Well, I’ve heard a lot of good things about him.”

You laugh sarcastically, “Are you gonna talk about the time he helped that one new student when she dropped her books on the floor again?”

“Well, there’s that. But there are other things, too, that I’ve tried to tell you but you just turn down because you hate him so much. Like the time he stopped a boy from getting bullied. It was so cool, Y/N, he just shoved the bully in his shoulders and looked him right in the eyes and told him to fuck off.” 

Something twists in your stomach at that word. It reminds you of when Sunghoon asked if 

Jungwon is just a bully. You can’t be staring at him now, talking about all the good deeds he’s done and why all the girls in your school have a crush on him. He’s mean. He’s insulted you, belittled you, degraded you. You could go on and on about all the times Jungwon has hurt you and laughed in your face whenever he did. He’s a selfish, spoiled rich kid that derives entertainment from picking on you. And like all your friends warn you not to do, you react, dragging it out longer. Maybe if you just stayed silent in the first place, this would have never continued for so long. 

Blinking, you suddenly realise that Jungwon is batting his eyes at you right in front of your face. You gasp, furrowing your eyes and jerking back once you realise how close his face is to yours. Shit, you spaced out and he caught you staring.

“What you staring at, number 23?” He asks, his old grin back on his face.

“Number 23?”

“Class ranks are up on the board.” He explains, and your heart drops to your feet when you realise what he’s saying. “You know,” Jungwon gets up, hands in his pockets as he peers down at you with that familiar evil glint in his eyes. “I thought signing you up for chemistry club would at least get you into the teens. But you only moved up one spot? One?”

Okay, you may have wanted normal Jungwon back, but did his first strike have to be so harsh? Getting up, you realise your legs are trembling. Something inside of you is telling you not to bite back this time, that it’s not worth it. If you truly want this war to end, then you have to be the bigger person and back down. Pursing your lips, you simply walk past him to follow the crowd of students into the hallway to see the class rankings. 

“Oh. My. God, Y/N. You should have seen the look on his face!” Yuna laughs, but you can’t join her. It was embarrassing to let him talk down to you like that. You wish you said something, but this needs to end. This is the first step you need to take.

“Let’s just focus on our class rankings for now.” You say, approaching the wall. 

Although Jungwon made fun of your rank, you have to hide a smile when you see it. It’s not high at all, but at least you’ve improved. With everything that’s been going on recently, you need something positive to cling onto. You pull out your phone to call your mum about your improvement, excited to hear about how proud she’ll be. 

But a voice from behind stops you. You can feel the heat of his body so close to yours, and your heart immediately starts doing backflips. “23rd? That means I’m going to have to spend a lot more time tutoring you, right?” His voice is uplifted, and that pisses you off even more.

Turning around, you furrow your brows and fold your arms. “Really? Are you just going to pretend that–”

Sunghoon, with his hands buried in his pockets and his lips pursed, shrugs. “I asked you what we are, and you just left.” 

That is very true. You did, quite rudely, leave. You erased that part of your day from your mind, and even avoided writing it down in your diary. All you needed was time, because the following week was when you and Yuna figured out what your feelings are towards him. Sighing, you answer. “I know.”

“I helped you break–” he pulls on your blazer to drag the two of you away from the crowd as he leans in to whisper, “I helped you break Jungwon's bike. I know you think that that's a normal thing for a guy like me, but it isn't. I don't go around, smashing people's things, you know. I did that for you, and all I got was a little thank you text.”

Everything he's saying is true, and that's frustrating you further.

“You can't be mad about who I sleep with, Y/N. I've been hovering around for so long, and still, the only guy you think of is Jungwon.”

“What are you even hanging around for, though? Jungwon he-he told me that you treat girls like trophies. I thought–” The eye contact Sunghoon holds with you is intense, he doesn't turn away once. You're too scared to break it because you've never seen him this serious before. 

“So you believed him over me? Someone that you ‘hate’ over a friend? You didn't even bring that up with me, Y/N!" He whisper-shouts, pressing an arm against the lockers beside him so that he can lower his head to meet yours. “You need to ask yourself what's your deal with Jungwon, because I'm not sure you really know what it is.” Gently, he lets go of your blazer and dusts it down with his hands, causing you to blush intensely. 

“You're gonna keep me up all night because of this, now, you know that, right?” You chuckle sarcastically, keeping your eyes on his hand that's lingering above yours. 

He chuckles back, “I know.” His hand stops hovering, and goes back to his pocket.

Looking up at him, you smile endearingly. “We can still be friends, right? Even if whatever this is doesn't sort out the way we want it to, you'll still be my friend.”

"Ayyyyy,” Sunghoon laughs, but it seems forced, and presses a finger into your shoulder. “You're just saying that for the free tutoring lessons.” 

-

Dear diary,

I hate Jungwon.

You groan into your arms after you realise what you've just written, disappointed in yourself. It's embarrassing to admit that Sunghoon is right, that Jungwon is constantly on your mind. If it's not the awful things he's said, or the stupid pranks he's played, then it's the way he puckers his lips together when he snorts out a laugh, or the way he wiggles his eyebrows at you to try and piss you off. You've probably never even scratched the surface of Jungwon's mind, yet he somehow lives in yours constantly.

A ping from your phone distracts you from your thoughts.

jung_1: my tire popped

you: and?

jung_1:  use your daddy skills to come and fix it

you:  if u think u can jus tell me what to do ???? then you're vv wrong :/

jung_1:  u came before what's wrong this time?

you: im busy

jung_1: so am i but i can't get anything done without my bike

you: u need to get it checked out professionally

ik u have some weird attachment issues to it but fixing the brakes and tires isn't enough to get that thing up and running again

jung_1: well, miss 23, unlike u i have a brain

fixing everything one at a time v slowly will work eventually

patience is key

so can u jus come already

you: what's in it for me?

jung_1: idk wtf

food?

you: do i look like a dog to u

jung_1: idk??? u name it ill get whatever u want

you: ok fine whatever

After you get dressed to go to Jungwon's house, you scribble one last thing into your diary before you go. 

Let's hope that when I come back, I won't be saying that I hate him again.

-

With a bag of food from your mum to give to Jungwon's parents, you ring his doorbell hesitantly. You will never get over the difference between your house and his despite the fact that you two live just a few houses away from each other. While yours is small and cosy with a garden full of roses and apple trees, Jungwon's stands tall—so modern that it doesn't even have a front garden, it's all just rock hard concrete. 

Opening the door you're met with a sour face when Jungwon looks you up and down. “What's that?” He asks, pointing at your carrier bag.

You inwardly sigh, reminding yourself of the trouble he's putting himself through because of you. “Homemade kimbap.” You hand it to him and he takes it cautiously, eyeing the bag like you hid a bomb in it. “Relax, my mum made it.”

Jungwon's head pops right up when you say that, and you swear his lips are trying their best not to pull up into a smile. Clearing his throat, however, he returns to his normal bitter expression and brushes his hair out of his gaze. “Whatever, come inside while I get dressed.” 

It's only when Jungwon mentions it that you look down and notice that he’s only wearing a pair of underwear. Making a mental note to never visit a teenage boy's house unannounced again, you awkwardly hop inside and sit on the kitchen counter that he directs you to wait at. 

While Jungwon is away, you're left with the housemaid. You've always guessed that they had one, yet you've never seen her leave the house before. Anyone could mistake this for slavery, how scary. 

“Are you Jungwon's friend?” She asks, opening the bag of kimbap that you brought. You nod, deciding it's best not to explain your confusing and infuriating situation to Jungwon's housemaid, and she smiles endearingly, taking out the food. “I'm surprised. He's only ever brought those two hooligans over.”

“Jeongseong and Heeseung?” You ask, chuckling.

She laughs with you at the mention of Jungwon's awful friends who you are secretly afraid of. “They're like Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, them two. It's nice to see that some of his friends are sane.” As soon as she unwraps and sees the food, however, the housemaid gasps, a repelled look on her face.

“Is everything okay?” You ask, worried.

“Jungwon can't eat this, it isn't fresh.”

You open your mouth to explain that it had only just been cooked a few hours ago, but choose not to. This is Jungwon's rich and snobby lifestyle, there's no point arguing with someone who knows him a lot better than you do.

“What a waste,” she sighs, “I'll just have to throw it away.” You really want to yell at the woman for disrespecting your mother's food, but the thought of Jungwon's parents catching you screaming at their trusted maid through a secret camera and suing you scares you too much to do so.

But just before she's able to throw it away, Jungwon appears in a zipped up coat and joggers, an arm in front of the bin. “No, no, no, no, Mrs Kim, it's okay.” He says softly, a hand resting on her back as he smiles at her.

Smiles. Like, really smiles. He's acting so gentle around her it's scaring you. Lightly, he takes the dish from her hands and settles it on the middle counter opposite you. He doesn't look up, he just opens the tinfoil and lets his jaw drop slightly at the kimbap your mum forced you to roll for him. You'll never let him know that, though.

“Jungwon, it isn't fresh, you'll get sick.” Mrs Kim retorts, but he's already digging one out. You and Mrs Kim both silently watch Jungwon eat his food contently, and you hate to say it but he eats in such a cute way. His cheeks puff out and he takes such small nibbles of the food, like he's savouring it all. 

“Your mum made this?” He asks, his eyes wide. 

A little thrown off by him, you play with the strings of your jacket. “Uh, yeah. She just told me to bring this when I said I was coming over.” You answer awkwardly. He isn’t throwing any insults at you, and that’s something you still haven’t gotten used to. 

He raises his brows while nodding, continuing to eat his food, leaving you and Mrs Kim standing beside each other in an odd silence. That is, until she leans in to whisper something to you. “He’s never eaten my kimbap so happily before, I wonder what your mum put in this one.” There’s a scowl on her face as bitterness lingers around her words.

You chuckle breathlessly, not really sure why Jungwon’s devouring your mum’s kimbap either. “It’s nothing special.”

Jungwon eyes the two of you before mumbling, “Stop staring.” and grabbing the rest of the food and making his way towards the door. You hesitantly scuttle behind him after giving Mrs Kim an undeserved bow. What a rude woman.

“How’d you pop it?” You ask, staring at the tire in horror as you realise the inner tube is punctured and this is going to be a very long job.

He chuckles, rubbing his hand at the nape of his neck, “Uh, I left my glass out and when I was pushing the bike it kinda just rolled over it.”

Sighing, you give him a defeated expression, “Seriously? You just added to the list of things that I’ve already broken.”

“What?”

You have to stop your breath for a second in order to hide the look of down right fear on your face as you almost slipped the crime you committed. “List of things that need fixing, I mean.” You shake your head and tut, trying to act out feign annoyance. Slowly, you peer over to Jungwon to see if he’s caught on, and he’s just staring blankly. Clearing your throat, you decide changing the topic is your best option right now. “Uhm, do you have a puncture kit?”

Jungwon, after a very long staredown, eventually replies and hands over the kit to you. You have to thank the skies for not throwing you under the bus because that was way too close. Even your hands are shaking a little as you open the kit and get on your knees, the nerves making you very tense. You don’t even have the courage to start up a conversation, and so the two of you work in silence like you did the last time. 

After about an hour in, Jungwon speaks up. “My parents bought this for me.” 

Ignoring the way you jumped at the way his voice suddenly appeared out of nowhere, you scoff. “Well, it’s not like you’ve had to work a day in your life to earn enough money to buy this.”

The dark haired boy huffs, clearly vexed. “No, I mean, they actually bought it. Like it wasn’t just a written cheque, or money into my bank account, or bought online. They flew to Thailand with me to buy it.” He explains, and when you turn to him, his eyes are boring into yours. 

“Okay, and?” You chuckle again, not really paying much mind to his words and focusing on your work instead. It’s just a bike, what is he trying to say that’s so important?

Abruptly, he brings his hand to his laps and flashes you an offended look. Worried that you’ve pressed the wrong buttons, you stop too, quietly letting him continue. “You asked why I only wanted your dad’s help. I’m answering you, okay?”

“Okay, I get it.” 

“It’s- they don’t do that, they don’t go out with me for..me.” You still don’t have a clue what he’s talking about, but you nod anyway. “This bike, it’s the only reminder I have at this point that my parents love- not love, but, ugh, you know what I mean.” He rambles, playing with the strings of his tracksuit bottoms nervously.

Trying your very best to put the pieces together, you tilt your head and ask, “You don’t think your parents love you?”

“I mean, yeah,” he panics, “I’m sure they do, but they’re not like your parents, for example.”

“My parents?” Well, now you’re really lost.

Jungwon sighs, averting his gaze from you to the bike. “You know, like my dad never taught me the things yours did. My parents never dropped me off to school like yours did. My mum doesn’t even know how to cook..” He mumbles, his voice slowly drifting off with each sentence. 

“Jungwon,” you furrow your brows, “Have you been..comparing your parents to mine all these years?” Now that you think about it, there have been many times where you would be talking to your parents, and from the corner of your eye you’d stop Jungwon staring. You’ve always brushed it off, not wanting to think about the boy any more than you needed to, but now you’re thinking that maybe you should have. It’s common knowledge that money doesn’t buy you happiness, and you and Yuna have always blamed Jungwon’s lavish lifestyle for his bitchiness. But loneliness? That’s something you’ve never associated with him. 

Jungwon lets out a groan, before picking up a screwdriver again. “No.” He mutters under his breath, before turning his back to you completely.

Not wanting to prod at the situation any further, you hesitantly get back to work, too.

It’s been three hours since the two of you started working on the bike. Out of fear that Jungwon had caught on to what you said about you being the culprit, you tried helping him fix the other parts of the motorcycle, too. (Albeit your lack of knowledge of how to do so.) The alleyway has been silent for hours, the only noises were your uncomfortable giggles, shaky breaths and your nails tapping against anything they could find. Jungwon didn’t ask about your slip up, so you are hoping to God that he has no doubt about you because that would just be a one way ticket to jail. 

You don’t even realise that it’s 8pm, dark, and absolutely freezing until you find yourself shivering and brushing up your hands against your bare arms. Jungwon probably hears your chattering teeth as he looks over and juts his chin out at you. “You cold?” He asks, expressionless.

You nod immediately, standing up to stretch your legs and shake them to circulate some warmth around you. The only light the two of you have is the spotlight above you and it’s wearing out a little, making it difficult to see. “Just a little.”

Jungwon eyes your outfit, “You should have brought a coat,” he mutters, before doing the absolute unexpected.

Slack-jawed, you watch Jungwon unzip his puffer coat and hand it to you like it was normal for him to do so. With furrowed brows, you stand still, trying to find the catch behind his actions. “What?” He grumbles. “You’d rather freeze?”

Crossing your arms, you laugh at him. Seeing your breath fog up in the air, you start to reconsider declining his offer. “The last time you offered me a coat, Jungwon, it was from a dumpster. Everyone laughed at me because I had no idea and I wore it the entire PE session.” You explained, hoping he’d catch on to your lack of trust in him.

“Well, this isn’t from a dumpster, so just take it.” His arm is still extended, but you can’t bring yourself to take it from him.

“Just because I’ve come over to help you a few times,” you glare at him, “it doesn’t mean we’re friends now. This isn’t enough for me to forget everything you’ve done to me, Jungwon.” Saying this out loud to him for the first time feels weird. Neither of you have ever confronted each other about your situation. It’s always been avoided. 

Jungwon pulls his arm back towards him, before taking a few steps towards you. “I never said we’re friends, just take the fucking coat.” He curses aggressively, making you flinch a little.

But the two of you are fully aware that you won’t back down from anything without a fight. “I don’t want your coat, Jungwon. It’s bad enough that I’m here, fixing something that you have enough money to do yourself. I don’t need your stupid pity either.”

Chuckling in disbelief, Jungwon rolls his eyes and shoves the coat into your arms. “Again, all I asked was for you to fix the tire. You chose to stay longer. I told you last time that you’re more than welcome to leave if you don’t wanna be here!” He yells at you.

Jungwon has never shouted at you before. It’s always been snarky comments and childish insults. This is new, and you’re not really sure how to react to it.

“Fine! I will leave! I can’t believe I fucking rolled that kimbap for you myself because I was scared you hadn’t eaten anything.” You shout back, throwing his coat on the floor before storming to his gate. “You’re never going to change, are you?” You mumble, while trying to open his gate. 

Suddenly, you feel Jungwon’s hand belligerently pull your shoulder back so you can face him as his fingers tightly grip around your upper arm. His face is merely inches away from yours, eyes piercing right through you like a new found anger has lit inside of him. “I’ve not changed? I literally just offered you my coat.”

“Oh, wow, you’re such a saint, Jungwon.” You seethe, despite the fear running through your blood at the intensity of his glare. “What about me? Huh? I helped you fix half of your bike, I put up with the shitty chemistry club stunt you pulled on me, I helped make your food-”

“And I am trying my best to return the favour!” He snaps again, letting go of your arm.

It’s not until then that you notice a delivery driver parked right outside of Jungwon’s house. Looking over at him, you notice the bags of food in his hands as he awkwardly smiles at the two of you. Your gaze shifts between Jungwon and the driver a few times. “You ordered this?” You ask, pointing at the man who's given up smiling and is now impatiently waiting for you both to collect your food. “For us?”

“I don't like burgers.” He spits, picking up his coat off the ground to pull out his wallet.

While Jungwon is apologising and paying the delivery driver, you stare at your feet in regret. That was way too stubborn of you. Jungwon really was just trying to be helpful by giving you his coat, but you were too prideful to take it. You thought you were better than this, you thought you were better than him. Maybe this issue has always been a two-sided conflict and you've just been too angry to see otherwise.

“Here,” he hands you the bag, and this time you take it reluctantly. 

Pulling out the box to open it, you're met with a fresh little burger meal. It's not much. Hell, it's nothing at all since you're sure Jungwon can afford way more than this cheap rubbish. But it still warps a guilt around your body so twisted you feel too sick to eat the meal. 

A gasp falls from your lips as soon as it hits you; as soon as the realisation of why the bike Jungwon adores so much hits you. He’s connected to it emotionally. It’s the only form of love he’s ever gotten. And you broke it. You can’t believe you broke something so precious to someone. The silence is thick. You can't bring yourself to look at him. There's only one thing running through your mind right now.

He deserves to know what you did.

Your chest feels heavy as Jungwon goes back to sitting on the ground and working on his bike. Agitation punches at your heart while its beats echoes around your head.

He needs to know what you did.

Biting your nails, you turn around to face him. He's been working so hard for days, and it's all because of you. You went too far, and he's paying the consequences—when it should be you. Clearing your throat, you waste no time telling him. 

“I did it.”

Jungwon's hands stop moving, but his gaze remains on the motorcycle.  

“I broke your..I broke your motorbike.” You say hurriedly before nibbling on your bottom lip. He still doesn't move. “It wasn't just me, but I did pretty much most of it.” 

You wait for him to lash out and scream at you, to call the police and have you locked away for life. You wait for him to cry, or yell, or insult you. Anything. But instead he does nothing.

He just quietly says. “Get out.”

“Jungwon, I'm so sorry, I wanted to tell–”

“I said get out.” His voice is low and empty.

“I–”

He cuts you off by darting his head towards your direction and glowering at you. So you decide to leave.

-

Dear diary,

I messed up. Big time.

With not enough energy in your system to write anymore in your diary due to the hours of homework you’ve just spent, you pull out your phone instead. Opening Instagram, you decide to aimlessly scroll through your friends’ stories.

First up is Ryujin—dolled up and singing into the camera with a few other girls you mildly recognise. There must be a party, you think. Swiping, you see a picture of Yeji and her boyfriend with red paper cups in their hands, smiling really cheesily. You chuckle at the photo, swiping up and replying to her story with “couple goals fr”. The next video on Yeji’s story, however, forces you to sit up in your chair.

While it seems like a normal video of a normal high school party with Yeji and Jisu dancing away and screaming to the music, your eyes can’t help but wander to the person dancing by themself in the background.

Yang Jungwon. And he’s alone.

This throws you off completely, because from the few parties you’ve visited and from what you’ve seen on people’s stories, Jungwon’s always been one of the lives of the party. He’s always in his huge group of school friends, dancing in the middle of the room, screaming into the microphones, spraying people with water guns. Jungwon was in fact one of the reasons you don’t go to parties often, because you can’t escape his loud personality. So seeing him in the corner, alone, with a bland expression on his face, you feel your heart sink.

And for some reason, you find yourself throwing on an outfit, fixing your hair, putting on some makeup and rushing out the doors.

“Hey!” Yeji approaches you, squeezing your side. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming, we would have got my man to pick you up!” She screams over the music, looking at you excitedly. 

Before you can answer her, Yeji’s dragging you further into the house. “It’s been so long since you’ve come to a party, Y/N!” She cheers, putting down her drink to hold onto your other hand and start dancing with you. Smiling awkwardly, you dance along a little, but your eyes keep batting around the room, searching for that one familiar face. Yeji leans forward to yell into your ear, “Is something wrong?!” 

You wince at the volume of her voice, flinching away in fear that she’ll damage your eardrum if she shouts any louder. “I’m fine! Have you seen-?!”

“Sunghoon?!” Yeji asks, both of your bodies still swaying along to the music. “Chaeryoung told us you broke it off with him! That’s why she’s over there with him now!” She points over to the kitchen where the two of them are. You watch as Chaeryoung giggles at whatever Sunghoon is saying, leaning into his taller frame and shyly touching his forearm. 

Well, that was quick of him to move on. 

Yeji holds onto both of your arms before looking into your eyes endearingly, “Do you still like him?! You know, we really need to talk about stuff like this more!” She explains as you squint your eyes, the LED flashing lights and blaring music making it difficult to focus on what she’s saying. “I miss our girly talks where we’d all talk about boys, and-!”

“Y/N!” Yuna appears from your left, immediately hugging you as she does. “You should have told me you were coming, we could have got Yeji’s boyfriend to pick you up!”

You and Yeji giggle at Yuna repeating the same phrase—realising that your whole friend group practically rely on Yeji’s boyfriend for travel. “It’s fine, I just came here for-!”

“Sunghoon?!” She asks, giving you an empathetic look. “He’s with Chaeryoung!” 

Now why does everyone assume you’re here for Sunghoon?

“No, I’m here for Jungwon!”

“What?!” Both your friends yell in unison, animating their confusion with their furrowed brows and cringed noses. 

“Jungwon!” 

Yuna eyes Yeji a little worriedly before she bends down to speak in your ear. “You’re not going to confess, are you?” Unfortunately, you haven’t given your best friend the news of what happened between you and your so-called-enemy, so you chuckle awkwardly when she asks. “Because my parents will kill me if they find out, Y/N.”

You shake your head and offer her a fake smile, “No, don’t worry, I just need to speak to him.”

Reluctantly, she lets you go and you search the house for Jungwon. But instead, you’re met with another distraction. Perfect.

You don’t even need to turn around to know that a certain black-haired tall boy is standing behind you as you recognise the feeling of his chest almost pressed against your back. Sighing aggravatingly, you turn around to meet him. “Hey.”

Sunghoon takes a few seconds to respond, his eyes roaming your face and outfit longingly. “It’s been awhile!” He shouts, giggling at the awkwardness of having to speak over the music before stuffing his hands in his jean pockets. “You look really nice!”

“What?!”

“I said, you look really nice!” He repeats, this time a beautiful smile washing over his strong features. He grins at you, smiling so wide you get a perfect view of his teeth and tiny eyes.

“Thank you! So do you!” You laugh, but your smile turns sour once you remember your last conversation with him and the reason why you’re here. 

Swiftly, Sunghoon pulls you by your waist, taking you by surprise. Keeping your attention on him distracted you from the shift in music from EDM to a much slower song, so when Sunghoon tugs you to dance with him, you’re panicking. His fingers hold you softly, barely touching you at all, and when you look up into his eyes, they’re already staring back down at you. He’s perfect; practically everything anyone wants in a partner. So why is Jungwon still the only person on your mind right now?

The room is a lot quieter now, so the two of you don’t need to scream in each other’s faces anymore. Thank God for that. 

“Who did you dress up for, pretty?” Your cheeks can’t help but flare up at the pet name, and you have to purse your lips from smiling like a child. “It definitely wasn’t for me, was it?” There’s a sad smile to his lips, causing you to break the heavy eye contact.

“I just didn’t want to stick out, that’s all. It’d be weird if I came in normal clothes.” Mumbling, you notice the way Sunghoon lets go of your waist with one hand, only to interlock it with yours. 

“So if you didn’t come here to party, why’d you come?” He asks, and all of a sudden the spinning is starting to make you a little dizzy.

You gaze up at him with round eyes, knowing full well that he’s aware of why you came here. You hate the fact that he’s forcing you to say it out loud—to come to terms with your emotions that you absolutely despise right now. Your life could be so much easier if you really did have feelings for Sunghoon (despite the fact that Chaeryoung likes him too, maybe that would have been a bit messy) because showing up to a loud, rowdy place like this for a boy who absolutely hates your guts is just too complicated for your heart to handle.

Liking Sunghoon would have been easier, and even though you’re dancing in his arms right now, you’re still choosing Jungwon.

“I need to tell him.”

“About the motorbike or about your feelings?” 

You gulp, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I already told him about the bike. So now I need to apologise.”

“He’s hurt you, Y/N, really bad. I don’t get why you picked him.” His face is stern, making you tug your bottom lip between your teeth.

Slowly, you let go of Sunghoon’s hand, and take his other off your waist. Looking up at him, you offer him a heartfelt smile before resting your hands on his chest. You take in a deep breath before looking up at him directly and say, “Neither do I.”

And like the two of you are some characters ripped out of the pages of a novel, you break away from each other, time slowing down as you walk away from him. Seeing Chaeryoung latch onto him while you walk backwards puts you at ease a little, you hope he sees the charm in your friend, you really do. 

You’ve been searching for Jungwon for around ten minutes now, and you figure he’s left since you can’t go too far in a house, can you? You end up proving yourself wrong, however, when you walk into the upstairs balcony and spot him staring into the view. 

Quietly, you lean against the balcony beside him, keeping your eyes on him in case he makes an indication that he wants you to leave.

With his gaze locked onto the city, not even sparing you a glance, Jungwon sighs deeply. “What are you doing here?”

“I just needed some fresh air,” You lie, unable to muster up the courage to explain the real reason.

“Okay, well, I think you’ve breathed in enough and you can leave now.” He mutters through jarred teeth. He looks just as angry as the day you told him about the motorbike, the steam still whistling at the top of his head. His jaw is shut tight, making his jawline look sharp enough to stab you with, and his eyes are doing their own damage to the sky with how narrow he’s piercing them.

Turning to face him, you instinctively reach out your hand to hold his arm, “Jungwon, I’m sor-”

Of course he recoils his arm away and of course he gives you a disgusted look. It’s only natural—you kind of deserve this. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

His tone flicks a switch inside of you unknowingly as you retort, “I was just apologising?”

“No, you don’t get to apologise,” He points at you with one hand, his other leaning against the balcony frame. His brows are lowered and his tongue is occasionally poking the inside of his cheek. “You broke my..you broke my bike.” His voice breaks, and you notice the way his bottom lip quivers. “My bike. Do you know…do you know how many memories me and my parents made in Thailand? My dad taught me how to ride it, and my mum sat at the back of it while I drove on the beach and..” He sniffles, bringing up his hand to wipe at his eyes before turning away from you. “And then out of all people you ended up helping me fix it. You’re messed up, that’s-that’s not normal.” He mutters, in between quick and raspy breaths.

Watching the scene unfold in front of you, your eyes begin to tear up, too. You made Jungwon cry again. That’s twice. That’s one more than he’s done. Just when you thought you brought the old Jungwon back you broke him again. Seeing his shoulders shudder as he cries quietly into his hands has you clutching onto your chest tightly in hopes you don’t break, too.

“I’m sorry..” You whisper.

“You don’t get to say that!” He repeats, shouting into his hands. 

“But, I mean it,” you say a little louder, wiping away the tears that managed to slip out to keep your voice as still as possible.

Hastily, Jungwon turns back around, “No, you don’t get to say that because..” The dark haired boy brings down his hands to reveal his face. You’ve never seen him like this; eyes soaked and his nose red and swollen. “Because it should be me. And that’s why I’m so mad.”

“It should be you? Apologising?” You ask, unconsciously inching towards him, unaware of how close your bodies are.

His eyes wander around your face for a little while before he sucks in a deep breath, “Yeah, whatever.” Sniffling, he turns his head back to the view of the city. “Obviously, you only did that because of me.”

“No, Jungwon, that was something personal to you. I-I went too far.”

Taking you by surprise, he groans into his hand loudly before looking back at you again. “You didn’t know that it was personal!” He yells, forcing you to jerk your head back a little with wide eyes. “You didn’t know that because we don’t know each other! We don’t-!” His chest heaves laboriously as his brown eyes bore deep into yours. “We’ve known each other for so long, longer than Heeseung or Jongseong or..Sunghoon.” He mumbles the last part, his lips forming into a pout. 

“Yet we don’t know anything about each other?” You finish off his sentence, making sure to keep eye contact this time, because now is the time to let it all out. Now is the time for the two of you to confront the stupid situation you’ve trapped yourselves in for years. “I know,” You whisper, before pursing your lips, trying not to spill out every thought running through your mind right now.

You spot the way the shape of Jungwon’s eyes change from slitting to more rounded. They’re large and round at the front but pull out at the sides, similar to those of a cat. For some reason, his eyes are comforting. 

“Yeah..” He lets out a shaky breath. “All I know is that you’re this girl that lives across the street that has the most perfect life.”

You scoff, “Well, if you call bad grades and single-”

“You have parents that hug you every morning when you leave the house for school. You have friends that will stick by you even when you ask them to do something as stupid as break your neighbour’s bike.” You both chuckle at that bit. “You’re just.. I’ve always wanted to have that. Sometimes I think of what it would be like if I switched places with you.”

Naturally, you respond with, “Well, if you had to deal with a certain someone that makes you hate leaving your house everyday, I don’t think you’d want to be me.” You laugh at your joke, before noticing the way Jungwon’s face drops. Shit—he’s the certain someone. “Wait, I didn’t mean it like-”

“No you did. That’s why you broke my bike.” He says firmly, and the urge to look away pushes through and you turn your head away from him. 

You should know by now to always expect the unexpected when it comes from Jungwon. Because the next thing you hear is a muffled snort followed by a soft laughter. Looking back at him, you’re perplexed. Was this a joke? Was this all just another prank? Does he really have no feelings? Are the police waiting at the bottom of the house to lock you away for years? 

Jungwon breaks into an even louder laughter when he sees your expression, resting his elbows on the balcony rail and burying his head into his hands to try and quieten himself down. “I’m sorry,” he giggles, shaking his head, “It’s just.. I was such an asshole to you. My bike getting broken was just karma if you think about it.”

“Are you saying you deserve it?” You ask doubtfully, scared you’re dipping into hot water.

“It feels like it. I couldn’t stop thinking about how shocked you were when I was being nice for once. Like, I was really that bad, huh?”

You join in on his laughter, “We shouldn’t be laughing about this.” You say, before taking another look at Jungwon and bursting into another fit of giggles with him at the same time.

This is weird. Your arms are bumping against each other, you’re laughing so much your cheeks and throat are sore, and you can’t stop gazing into Jungwon’s eyes as you both smile with each other. You know. You’ve known since Sunghoon told you that you think about Jungwon way more than you should. You’ve known since the first time your legs touched each other accidentally that day you were fixing his bike. You’ve known since the time you watched him happily munch away on your mum’s kimbap. 

You know exactly why your heart is racing right now. Racing for the idiot you’ve been hating since you were eleven years old. Racing for your so-called-enemy of six years. Racing for the guy that just laughed about how badly he’s treated you. You’re so dumb, catching feelings for someone like Jungwon. Your cheeks should not be burning right now. He’s just Jungwon, you try to remind yourself.

Buried deep in your thoughts, you didn’t even realise the two of you have stopped laughing. It’s only now that you notice Jungwon’s eyes flickering between yours and your lips, and that he’s steadily leaning towards you. If your heart was racing before, it’s sprinting down a freaking marathon now. You stay still, waiting to see (or feel) whatever happens next. You’re too scared to initiate anything in case you freak the boy out and he backs away. Because what reason would he have to lean in right now? What reason would he have to like you back?

What reason would Yang Jungwon have to kiss you?

All of your questions fly out of the window as soon as his lips latch onto yours softly. Letting out a little gasp, although you were already expecting this, your hand flies to the balcony rail immediately. This is your first kiss. You always expected it to be more romantic; on a date with a guy in the park, or under a sakura tree at school. You never thought you’d kiss someone a few minutes after watching them cry their eyes out.

His lips are soft, though, so you close your eyes to feel them more. A hand reaches the back of your head as he tilts his head, a shaky breath blowing into yours. You can’t help but smile into the kiss, giggling at how inexperienced you both are. You both pull away, and you’re a little disappointed at the lack of..well..kissing there was. You’re pretty sure your lips are actually supposed to move in a kiss. So, pulling on every string of courage you have, you place your hands on either side of his shoulders and pull Jungwon in for a second round. This time, you tilt your head and open your lips a little, your stomach filling with butterflies when Jungwon lets out a sigh of relief against you. His movements are gentle, and the tenderness of his small lips opening and closing within yours causes your head to spin a little. He’s a little too good at this, his thumbs rubbing circles on either side of your waist making you feel all mushy inside. 

You hate him. You hate how good he is at kissing even though it’s his first time.

Pulling away, you can’t help but cover your face. Jungwon giggles at you quietly, making your body heat up even more. You feel his hands clasp around your wrists as he pulls them away from your face, shoving his right in yours. You’ve never seen this expression on his face before. His cheeks are bright red and puffed out, his lips are a little puffy and his eyes are rounder than you’ve ever seen them before. A genuine, really pretty smile sits on his lips as he speaks up again.

“We cannot tell anyone about this.”

“Agreed.”

-

A/N | and that's a wrap! i'm ngl i dont really understand the hype for this fic i wish i did things a lot differently ahahah,, but u guys really enjoyed it and that's all that matters!

#jungwon x y/n #jungwon x reader #jungwon x you #jungwon x female reader #jungwon fanfic #jungwon fluff #jungwon angst #jungwon drabbles #jungwon scenarios #jungwon imagines #enhypen x reader #enhypen x you #enhypen x female reader #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #enhypen fic #yang jungwon x reader

[silvervioletvalentine]

❣️!Best kept secret!❣️

Pairing: Sebastian vettel X fem!OC(Cherrie)

Word count : 7k

Warnings- none. Just pure fluff really. Seb being a stubborn lovesick idiot. Enjoy xoxo

Sebastian tried so hard to ignore the mixture of pitiful and amused looks that were being sent his way from the crew, deliberately not making eye contact with any of them as he stubbornly stood by the side of the track as he waited for the one woman that wouldn't leave his mind .

Placing his hands on his hips with a impatient sigh as he squinted his eyes over at her car , seeing her still sat inside of it as one of her engineers knelt down beside her to talk to her about something.

She still hadn't taken her helmet off either , but he could see her occasionally nodding to something the guy said.

It had been another good race that had put him in high spirits . So much so that he was willing to keep persistently sticking around in hopes of getting Cherrie just actually talk to him again.

Because all of his desperate ways that he had tried to get the two of them to bond over hadn't really worked out so far.

In fact , they hasn't worked out at all.

She didn't seem to want to hang out with him one on one at all. Most men would be too stung from the repeated rejection to continue pursuing her, but not him.

Oh no. Definitely not. Who did they think he was? Some teenager that was too scared to talk to a girl?

Instead each time she pushed him away with a forced yet polite smile on her pretty face . He became more determined to get her to crack and let him in.

He would get her to like him, even if he got his pride hurt while doing so.

She had already shot him down about a hundred times anyways , so what was another hundred more?

Seb was baffled to why she just wouldn't give in and give him a chance . From the moment they had met it was as though she had silently declared to herself that she wouldn't be giving him a second glance , and that she definitely wouldn't be giving into his persistence for them to be friends either.

And he had tried everything too. He had tried just casually talking about their cars.

He had tried complimenting her every time she passed him by, even giving her a little wink every time he saw her.

That usually worked wonders. How could anyone resist his charm? Only his boyish charm didn’t seem to even reach her!

She had actually grimaced and looked away like she was embarrassing .

It had stung a little at the time because what the hell? Did she really not like him? He was nothing but kind and pleasant towards her! He always made sure that she got the best seat in the meeting rooms and that there was always a coffee awaiting for her when she arrived .

He always made sure to double check her car for her before the race would start too , just to make sure that it all looked good enough to his high standards.

Not that she knew that he liked to inspect her car before hand , she didn't like people even touching her car . He had a feeling that she would hate it even more if she found out that he was the one hovering over it too.

He had even bought her flowers! Only He had gotten back to his trailer later that day to find them placed on top of his table with the little card he had written for her missing. Instead it had been placed with one of her own,

In neat cursive letters she had written

'flowers make me sneeze. Thanks anyways.' He hadn't believed it.

Because it seemed that no matter what he did or what he said to try and convince her to give him a chance , she just shot him down without a second thought .

All Sebastian wanted to do was get to her a little better. He was fascinated by her. He had been since they first met and she had strutted inside the paddock with the tightest jeans on that he had ever seen , a tank top with her car number printed on the front hugging her body. With long shiny hair and pouty lips , and eyes like a fucking siren.

Well , how was Sebastian supposed to just not fall in love with her?

He hadn't wasted anytime in throwing himself in her direction and greeting her enthusiastically , a wide smile of awe on his face as he shook her hand for a little too long .

Holding onto her soft skin for longer than necessary as he introduces himself . Discreetly checking her fingers for a ring too.

It was bare. She was engaged married.

Perfect!

"If you need anything... and I mean anything.." he had wiggled his eyebrow at her cheekily , memorised by the woman in front of him.

"You can come to me. I'm Sebastian by the way." He had quickly added once she just continued to look at him with a unamused look her on her gorgeous face.

Cherrie had just hummed and pulled her hand smoothly out from his grip. Wiping it down on the front of her jeans with a slight grimace.

"I won't be needing anything from you. Only the directions to the office.." she had murmured.

No longer paying him any interest as she looked around the building surrounding them, taking it all in.

Sebastian had still kept smiling , not giving up. That just wasn't who he was.

"I can come with you. It's only around the corner. Fifth door on the left." He told her with a slight smirk , having assumed that she would agree and that she would take the ball that was being thrown desperately into her court .

Cherrie had just looked back at with a unimpressed raise of her perfect brows , shaking her head in a firm no.

"If it's only around the corner then I do not need someone to hold my hand there. See you around Sebastian ." She merely uttered before She then pulled her sunglasses down from her head and smoothly placed them over her eyes. Not giving him another glance before strutting away.

Even though he could hear the snickers of amusement from around him at the way she had so easily shut him down, Sebastian just didn't care .

Instead he had sighed long and hard then , smiling like an idiot as he looked over at Daniel who he was about to have lunch with .

The other driver was giggling to himself as he looked back at him like he was insane , wondering why he didn't seem upset or thrown off by her rejection at all.

But Sebastian had merely breathed out a excited “I think I'm in love." Already planning on how he was going to get into her good graces and make her fall in love with him too.

Daniel was still laughing at him even now , seven months later , as he patted him on the back as he watched Seb wait for her to get out of her car, still as stubborn as the day they had met .

"Are you ever going to give up? Cause this is getting kind of painful to watch ya know.." Daniel remarked to him with a amused smirk on his face , leaning back against the railing beside him.

Sebastian just looked back at him with a raise of his brow , shaking his head . "Would you give up on the chance of being with your dream woman Danny?" He resorted back to him, crossing his arms over his chest and humming triumphantly at his silence .

"No you wouldn't. I'm a man. Not a boy. It's just taking a little more time to get her to come around than I thought.." he muttered , sighing a little at the thought of his lack of progress .

Although she had gotten him a lovely card and a mini replica of his own racing car for his birthday.

That had got to have meant something .

Daniel shook his head at him , amused. "She's not giving you many chances though is she? In fact every time she sees you, she runs way." He stated.

Sebastian frowned at him , in denial. "She does not run away. She just has things to do.." he said to make himself feel better about the fact that sometimes she did in fact …walk a little faster in the opposite direction to where he was.

No big deal. He still had hope.

Daniel barked out a laugh "all the time? Why do you want this so bad man? I mean I understand that she's beautiful but she's absolutely brutal with the way she's always rejecting you. It's hard to watch."

Sebastian sighed a little and pursed his lips , glancing back over to his right just in time to see Cherrie slowly pull herself up out of her car .

Watching as she carefully took off her helmet and shook out her hair , his breath hitching in his throat as he watched her smile prettily as something that her engineer had said.

"Because Dan. She's so smart . And so cool. And I just look at her and I just know ..." he sighed like a lovesick puppy .

"I just know that she's the one that I've been waiting for. She's so good at insulting people too.. she's so mean.." he let out a chuckle of adoration . Shaking his head a little .

"She makes me feel young again." He concluded to him , speaking truthfully .

He wasn't ashamed of how she made him feel. Why should he be? You couldn't help who you fell in love with.

When it happened it just happened and it would hit you hard. Just like the way his heart had raced in his chest and his whole body had felt like it was on live wire when he first shook her hand and looked into her beautiful eyes. He had known then what he knew now.

He wanted her. And that was never going to change .

So instead of moping about and letting his one opportunity to find happiness pass him by , he had decided to relentlessly pursue her instead.

Daniel was looking at him like he had grown a third head. Laughing "you like it when she's being mean to you?" He repeated out loud in disbelief . Cackling.

Sebastian just smirked and nodded his head. "Oh yeah. The crueller she is , the more I want her. She's got a wicked tongue.." he tilted his head dreamily at the thought of her.

His face Lighting up as Cherrie finally started heading their way, watching as she unzipped her race suit and tied it loosely around her waist .

He jogged over to her quickly , hearing Daniels laughter and the amused 'good luck' that he called out to him.

Cherrie looked up from her phone at the sound of him clearing his throat in front of her. Slowly coming to a stop as she noticed just who it was that had dared to disturb her peace.

Fighting back a sigh when she was faced with Sebastian grinning face , his eyes twinkling under the sun as he crossed his arms behind his back and rocked on the edge of his feet like a little kid.

Pursing her lips , she side eyed him. Just wanting to get home.

"Yes? Can I help you?" She drawled a little sarcastically after another minute of him just gazing at her with his pretty eyes.

Why did god like to make the most annoying ones look like angels? It really wasn't fair. She thought to herself grimly.

Seb smiled brightly , humming happily. "Just wanted to say hi and ask what you were doing." He simply replied .

Before suddenly reaching out and taking her helmet from her hands without even asking , turning it this way and that way as he inspected the new design she had .

Humming in approval as he tapped the top of it with his knuckles to make sure that it was well made.

Cherrie frowned a little at him. Chewing on the inside of her cheek as she watched him open and close her visor , making sure that it worked smoothly.

Feeling her heart clench in her chest a little at the way he was still so determined to win her over.

She wasn't stupid . She knew that he liked her. Anyone could see that.

From the way he followed her around and never left her alone , chatting her ear off even when he knew she wasn't listening .

It made her feel really bad but she had to keep her priorities straight and a new romance just wasn't on her cards .

She was certain that he only liked the thrill of the chase and that as soon as he actually got to know her and see what a fucked up life she lived, he wouldn't be looking at her like she hung the sun and the moon anymore .

She couldn't risk letting him in. She had let a man fuck her over before and she wasn't keen to let her heart get broken like that again.

So instead she did what she did best, she tried to push him away.

But my god was he a stubborn man.

"I was just about to go home . I haven't ate since this morning." She muttered as she took her helmet back from him . Glancing over to the exit door to her right that was just waiting for her.

Seb shoved his hands into his Jean pockets and rocked back on his feet again. Not taking his eyes away from her pretty face .

"I could take you out for something to eat. There's a great sushi place not far from here." He casually offered . Still smiling at her , the hope make his eyes shine.

Cherrie held back another sigh and looked away from him. Feeling bad for how she was about to shut him down, yet again.

"I don't like sushi." She simply answered. Eyeing the silly headband that was pushed into his messy hair , fighting back a small smile at the way he kept reaching up to adjust it.

She hated that he looked so good. He was just her type. It made it even harder for her to stick to her resolve .

She didn't date. She didn't have the time to. She didn't want to either. She had better things to worry about .

Sebastian didn't even hesitate "pizza then?"

She shook her head , holding back a laugh. "I don't like pizza." She told him blandly. Hands on her hips , mimicking his posture .

At that Sebastian paused , looking at her strangely .

"You don't like pizza?" He repeated in disbelief , eyeing her with clear judgment .

"Who doesn't like pizza? Not even a simple pepperoni one?" He gasped.

She just shrugged her shoulder casually "I don't. I'm not a big fan of cheese."

It gets worse. Seb thought to himself in horror as he stared back at her with wide eyes, utterly disgraced .

"This might be a deal breaker. You can't not like cheese Cher. Have you never tasted happiness?" He joked . Utterly taken back by what he was hearing.

How could he love a woman who didn't like pizza or cheese? What was he supposed to feed her now?

Lettuce? Next thing he knew she would be telling him that she hated fruit as well.

Cherrie rolled her eyes at him with a small smile , laughing a little .

Sebastian lit up at the sound , his lips parting slightly as he grinned back at her cheekily. Proud of himself for making her laugh.

"A deal breaker for what? I wasn't aware that there was a deal to even break." She remarked as she looked down at her phone screen to check the time. Feeling more antsy with each minute passed that she wasn't on her way home.

Sebastian just sighed and patted her head as though she was the pitiful one.

"Our date to be." He confidently told her .

Grinning at the way she immediately shook her head , unamused with him.

"What will we eat together? We might have to order two different things because I don't think I can live without cheese." He added as an afterthought . Genuinely serious at it.

Cherrie gaped at him in disbelief . "Date? We're not going on a date! How many times-" she huffed . Utterly done with him. It was like he had selective hearing .

When she said no , he only heard a yes.

Sebastian just chuckled , smirking down at her.

"Yes we are. It's just a little difficult to arrange a date and time with you. You're not an easy woman to get ahold of!" He cheesed unashamedly .

Cherrie couldn't believe how stubborn he was. Groaning loudly as she rubbed her hands over her face in mild annoyance.

"Ever thought it's because I don't want to date you Seb?" She snapped at him , quickly typing a reply out to her brother who was asking when she was going to be home.

He sighed , titling his head at her curiously . "But why?" He wanted to know her reasoning for constantly shutting him down.

“I like you and I think that we'd be great together. You're the most beautiful woman in the world and I'm the most handsome man-"

She cut him off with a huff. Trying so hard not to smile at his theatrics . She couldn't let him know how hard she wanted to cave.

He was cocky enough without any encouragement from her side.

"You don't even know me! Finding me pretty isn't a good enough reason to date me Seb." She exclaimed , exasperated.

Sebastian groaned in frustration. And they said he was stubborn! She was just as bad!

"I'm trying to get to you know cherrie! And that's a lie. All relationships start with mutual attraction. Where I find you hot and you find me ravishingly handsome-" he grinned , unable to help himself from winding her up a little .

He liked the way her eyes looked when she was glaring at him. It honestly turned him on a little .

Cherrie gasped at his arrogance . "Who said I'm attracted to you?!" Her voice went higher in pitch

As she scowled over at him in annoyance .

He just rose his brows at her slyly "so you want to tell me that you don't think I'm handsome?"

She flustered . Stammering for a response for long enough that Sebastian felt gleeful.

He knew it. He knew she felt the buzz between them.

"That's not the point!" She finally manage to huff out. Clenching her helmet in her hands so she didn't throw it at his stupidly handsome face.

Sebastian just sighed . Bending his head down a little so he could catch her eye.

"Come on Cherrie.." he said a little quieter this time, the joking tone leaving his voice as he pleaded with her again. "Just give me a chance. Just one date."

Cherrie felt terrible then. But she just couldn't. He was such a great guy, any woman would be lucky to have him.

But she had so much going on in her life, she didn't want to drag him into her mess. That wasn't fair.

He wouldn't like her if he actually got to know her . Nobody did.

Men came and went like seasons in her life but it wasn't just her own heart she had to protect anymore . There were bigger things at stake.

She couldn’t get hurt again.

So swallowing down the lump in her throat , she plastered on a small smile and with her free arm she loosely wrapped it around his shoulders in a fleeting hug.

Making Sebastian freeze in shock as he looked down at her with wide eyes before quickly sliding his arms around her waist and squeezing her back.

She pulled away with a sad little sigh that made his heart clench in his chest. Patting his shoulder gently before pulling away completely.

"I'm not worth it Seb. Don't waste your time." She simply mumbled to him before walking away to the exit door , not looking back.

Leaving Sebastian to look at where she had just been stood with a frown on his face , pursing his lips in confusion and frustration. Wondering why she acted this way all the time.

"I'm not giving up." He muttered to himself as he turned around and started to head back to his trailer to think.

“There's got to be more to it."

And how right he was.

Because that following Saturday Sebastian almost had a heart attack as as he saw a familiar car slid off the track in front of him, spinning a couple of times before crashing into the wall , hard.

His heart was pounding in his chest as he stopped his car , his radio quickly coming on as he was told to pull back and follow the safety car until they got rid of the debris on the track.

But Sebastian couldn't take his eyes away from the crushed car , hands squeezing his wheel anxiously.

"Was that Cherrie?!" He shouted down his radio in a panic , leaning his head forward as far as he could to try and get a better look.

"Follow the car please Sebastian!"

"Was it?! It is her car!" He gasped as he saw the familiar number on the side . Catching sight of her helmet as he watched them try to flip her car back up right .

She wasn't moving .

"She's not getting out!" He shouted in panic , feeling sick with worry. "Why isn't she getting out?! Is she okay? Will someone fucking answer me?!" He angrily snapped down the radio when he got nothing but silence .

A voice finally came through "she's going to be okay Sebastian. She's answered her radio. Her wheels just stuck. They'll get her out." He informed him calmly .

He breathed of a breath of relief as he slowly began to drive again, following the safety car . Still keep her car in his sight the best he could before he turned the corner and he could no longer see her.

"Fucking hell!" He hissed upset "i hope she's okay. That looked really nasty. She was in the lead too!" He felt terrible for her. He knew how much she wanted to win this one.

"Just focus on the race Sebastian. You've got a better advantage now. You can still win this!" His coach tried to encourage him.

It only made Sebastian more mad. Scowling to himself as his stomach continued to turn with worry as they went around the track again. Only this time when he passed her crashed car , she was no longer inside of it.

"I don't give a shit about winning! Is she injured? Is it bad? Where has she gone?!" He wanted to know.

His coach sighed knowing that there was would be no calming him down until he saw her fit and healthy in front of his own two eyes.

"She looked okay. More shocked than anything. She refused to go with the medics. I think she's going home. She won't hear otherwise. You know how she is." He reluctantly told him.

Sebastian slammed his hands against the wheel in frustration. "Fucking stubborn woman!" He cursed in disbelief .

"She could lose a leg and she would still say she's fine! I can't believe this!" He snapped as they all lined up ready to continue the race again.

Pursing his lips together , upset.

"Where does she live? I don't have her address!" He demanded to know. Already planning on hauling ass over to her place as soon as the race was done

"Seb I can't just give you her address, that's private-"

He was having none of it. "Send me the address through text otherwise I'm not finishing this race." He threatened him seriously . Not kidding about.

There was a long pause from his radio before his coach finally sighed in defeat.

"Okay you win . I've sent it to you now. Just finish the race please." Was all he told him. Fed up.

Sebastian breathed out in relief , shoulders relaxing a little again.

“The faster I am the sooner I can leave." He muttered before he was off again.

It took him less than an hour to arrive at her apartment . Having been let up by one of her kind neighbours after he had told her that he was surprising her with his visit , he had been let up without any problems.

He knocked on her door loudly , impatiently rocking on his feet as he waited for her to answer . Checking his phone for a minute to make sure that he had in fact gotten the right address.

His head lifting back up as he heard the lock unlatch before sliding open, Cherrie's shocked face looking back at him as she finally swung open the door.

"What the hell? How do you know where I live?!" She exclaimed in disbelief , heart falling to her stomach.

Sebastian was too busy scanning her for injuries to notice how uneasy she suddenly looked , glancing over her shoulder and back Into her home nervously .

"Are you okay? Are you hurt? Why didn't you see the medic?!" He ignored her question as he pushed his way into her apartment . Ignoring her loud protests for him to get out.

Gently grabbing her shoulders and spinning her around so he could look at her closely . Seeing a few bruises on her arms and legs with the way she was stood in front of him in her pyjama shorts and tank .

The door fell closed behind her as she blinked back at him silently , still in shock at his sudden arrival.

Seeing this, he frowned . assuming that she was hurt and just not telling him, he gently took ahold of her arm and lead her over to the couch.

Only to stop short at the sight of a tiny toddler sat on it while looking back at him with wide , curious eyes.

He blinked . Then he blinked again.

Clearly his throat a little as he glanced between the baby and Cherrie , who had gone pale from beside him.

"There's a baby on your couch." He stated the obvious . Utterly baffled.

Scanning the baby's big blue eyes and curly hair, a cute button nose and dimpled smile as she made cute noises up at him. Drinking from a pink bottle that was filled with orange juice.

"I know." Was all Cherrie muttered . Pulling her arm out of his grasp and walking over to the baby.

Carefully lifting up the bottle from her mouth and wiping her chin with a her bib from where she had spilled the drink down herself .

Sebastian just watched her caring actions with utter confusion. Frowning to himself as he looked between the two of them rapidly.

"Did you steal her from someone? Is that why you're always behaving so suspiciously?” He blurted out.

Placing his hands on his hips as he looked around the room, taking in all the toys and teddies that were scattered everywhere . A pile of baby clothes folded in the corner .

What the hell was going on? Who’s kid was this?

Cherrie deadpanned at him. Unamused by his accusation of her being a baby snatcher .

Rolling her eyes with a small snort as she picked up Angel and carefully put her on her hip, swaying them side to side a little as she looked back at Sebastian with a defeated sigh.

She might as well break the news to him now. She thought with a grimace. It's not like he would be sticking around much longer when he found out.

"No Sebastian. I haven't kidnapped her from anybody." She sighed loudly , gently smoothing her fingers through angels curly hair.

“She's mine."

Sebastian just looked at her blankly . Wondering if he had misheard her .

"Sorry?" Was all that came out . Swallowing thickly as he looked between the two of them again. A little more closely this time.

At the baby in her arms who had the same eyes and cute button nose . Same dimpled smile too.

No fucking way.

Cherrie carefully sat down on the couch , shifting Angel so that she was facing the tv with cartoonson.

"This is my daughter Seb. She's called Angel. She's almost two years old." She told him simply , getting it over with.

Sebastian felt his throat run dry. Brain freezing as he let out a simple yet shocked 'oh.'

Scratching at his neck a little nervously , eyes flickering down to Angel again only to see the baby already grinning up at him toothlessly.

"Fucking hell. How did this happen?" He breathed out in shock.

Slowly walking over to them but instead of sitting next to Cherrie on the couch like she thought he would , he instead knelt down on the floor in front of Angel and then proceeded to gently poke her nose .

Laughing quietly to himself as she let out a loud giggle , wiggling on cherries lap happily.

"Lo! Lo!" She shouted at him , giggling like a maniac . Blowing a raspberry at him in the air too.

Cherrie looked down at her baby with a amused smile , shaking her head fondly with a chuckle.

"Hello. It's hello baby." She corrected her gently , letting her shuffle further forward on her lap so that she could reach Sebastian better.

Her baby had never been a shy girl after all.

"And do I really need to tell you how it happened Seb?" She sarcastically said "one day I was drunk and horny and then the next thing I knew I was already three months pregnant! Not rocket science." She muttered .

He rose a unimpressed brow at her , shaking his head .

“That's not what I meant and you know it." He replied before letting out a loud laugh when Angel suddenly lurched forward and slapped both of her hands against his cheeks. Squishing them together roughly until His lips puckered .

"Ow." He grinned , amused by the ridiculous amount of strength in her tiny hands.

Cherrie frowned at him, although she couldn't stop the smile that tugged at her lips as she watched him gently squish her baby's cheeks together in return. Making Angel shriek with high pitched giggles .

"I meant -" he looked up at her again, titling his head slightly in confusion.

"why didn't I know? Why didn't you tell anybody that you had a kid? It's a pretty big deal Cher." He stated the obvious.

He was also a little impressed at how good she was at keeping secrets. What else was she hiding from them?

He wouldn’t be surprised if she suddenly told him that she was Spanish and had been living two different lives this entire time!

Then he watched as Angel make grabby hands at him, looking up at him with expectant wide eyes. His heart melted.

"Can I? Promise I won't drop her." He said as he nodded down to her baby.

Cherrie hesitating for a moment before letting out a soft sigh and carefully passing him Angel to hold.

Watching as he got to his feet with her , holding her properly before he let out a cheeky grin , side eyeing the love of his life before he then pretended to drop her .

Making Angel squeal in delight and Cherrie gasp sharply in horror.

"Seb!" She scolded him. Reaching out to slap at his thigh , hard . "Don't do that!"

He just laughed . Winking at her cheekily.

Picking up a plastic tiara from the table , he carefully slid it onto angels small head . grinning at how cute she looked.

"Where's your crown Angel? You're a queen not a princess!" He gasped jokingly as he pretended to look around for the crown. Making Angel giggle.

She then lifted the tiara from her head and shoved it ontop of his head instead. Clapping her hands together in pure excitement .

"Pwincess! Look mommy!" She exclaimed , pulling on a piece of Sebastian's hair hard enough that he winced in pain .

Squinting his eyes at cherrie when she let out a small giggle of amusement. Tutting at her as he carefully untangled her fingers from his hair before she made him go completely bald.

That was not a look that he wanted to rock yet.

Cherrie smiled brightly . Lifting up her phone to snap a quick photo of them for future blackmail.

"Amazing." She cooed to her baby . Before looking back at Seb with a raise of her brow as she realised that she hadn't answered his last question.

"I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want anyone to know. I want her to at least have a chance at having a normal life . Plus I was a worried that the team wouldn't sign me if they knew I was a mother." She admitted to him . Leaning back on the couch with a sigh.

Sebastian carefully put Angel down in front of the tv where she quickly became hypnotised by it.

Then he walked over to the couch and took a seat next to Cherrie, their thighs brushing together as he looked down at her with a slight frown.

Feeling upset that she had been doing all this alone while he had absolutely no idea she even had baby! If he had known, then she wouldn't have had to go through it alone.

He would have supported her.

Did she think that he would judge her for being a single mother? He worried to himself as he noticed the way she was avoiding his gaze . Her cheeks a little pink. Clearly flustered by him finding out her biggest secret.

The thought that she didn't trust him stung more than he would like to admit.

"I wish you had told me .." he honestly said. Sliding his arm around her shoulder and bringing her closer into his side .

She grumbled a little but didn't bother pulling away.

Instead she peered up at him through her long lashes and said "yeah. Maybe it would have made you stop asking me out all the time." She muttered.

Sebastian snorted at that. Smirking down at her in amusement .

“Wouldn't have changed a thing." He told her simply .

“I Still like you. You having a baby doesn't change that." He said truthfully .

Although he was more than shocked by it , it didn't repulse him. Didn't change his feelings for her in the slightest. If anything it only made him admire her even more .

The fact that she had been racing all day and then coming home to do look after her baby as well, without any help or anyone even knowing , was amazing .

He realised then why she always left the paddock in such a rush when the race was over now.

She wasn't avoiding him. She wasn't being rude.

She just wanted to get back home to her baby. It was admirable really.

Cherrie couldn't believe what she was hearing. Shifting in her seat so she could face him properly , her heart racing in her chest as she peered up at him in shock.

It didn't?

"You still want-" she hesitated to say it. Cheeks darkening with colour . Hating herself for feeling so hopeful then.

She had been pushing him away for so long because she had thought that he would have been put off when he found out that she had a baby. Most men were. They didn’t want the extra responsibility.

Yet Sebastian didn't even flinch. Instead he took it all in his stride and continued to flirt with her like nothing had changed.

Seb smirked a little as he slid his fingers into her hair , gently massaging her scalp to get her to relax.

His face softening fondly as he watched her sigh contently before finally letting herself give in a little.

His breath hitching as she gently rested her head against his shoulder , her fingers fiddling with the hem of his shirt tiredly.

Overwhelmed by the sudden feelings rising inside of her. Feelings that she had pushed down for so long in fear of letting her guard down and getting her heart broken.

"I still want you." He whispered to her softly with a smile. Tilting his head and Resting his cheek against the top of her head, warmth filling his chest at how domestic and right it felt.

"Still want to take you out on a date. Although I don't know where , miss picky ." He teased her quietly . Looking over at Angel who was playing with some dolls on the carpet , his face softening even further.

She had the cutest kid in the world.

How was his heart going to survive this? His life was already so full of light with Cherrie in it but a mini version of her as well? Was he dreaming?

Cherrie blinked back the sudden tears in her eyes. Instead she buried her face into his neck and let out a small laugh of both relief and defeat.

Squeezing her arms around his waist to hold him close. Something she had been wanting to do for so long now.

"Does Angel like cheese?" He then suddenly asked her. Still playing with her hair as they relaxed. Chewing on his bottom lip as different date ideas filled his head.

Cherrie snorted "loves it."

Seb grinned smugly "smart kid. I suppose I could get me and Angel a pizza and you can have something else . What's your favourite food?" He casually said as though it was no big deal that he was offering to include her baby in the deal too.

Cherrie pulled away from him with a small sniffle, looking up at him with teary eyes.

"Seriously? You don't mind that I have a baby? Because I can't just mess around with you Sebastian. She comes first , always. I can't have people coming in and out of her life if they're not going to stick around." She told him seriously . Fiddling with her fingers anxiously .

Sebastian just smiled and grabbed her hand in his own, intertwining their fingers instead .

Squeezing her hand three times before he spoke, voice soft and honest.

"I've been serious about you since day one Cherrie. I haven't been asking you out every day for the past year for a laugh." He answered.

With his other hand he reached up and cupped her jaw gently , titling his chin up at her as he searched her eyes. Needing her to understand just how real and unrelenting his feelings for her were.

"I've got a little not so secret , secret of my own." He then whispered to her cheekily.

She grinned , leaning into his touch as he nudged the tip of their noses together softly. His sparkling eyes never leaving her own.

"Yeah?"

He hummed thickly as their lips brushed against each other , barely touching yet it was enough to make his skin prickle with goosebumps.

His pulse hammering in his neck as he realised that this was finally the chance that he had been so desperately after .

"I'm in love with you. Everybody seems to know it but you." He confessed to her quietly .

Unafraid then because as he watched her inhale shakily and blink away tears of her own, he knew that she felt it too.

"I'm gonna love you for the rest of my life Cherrie. So yes, I am serious about you. And Angel is a part of you , and I love every single piece of you. So I promise that I'll love her too..." he swallowed , overcome with emotion. "If you'll let me.."

It was the best that he could promise without being knelt to front of her with a ring in his hand.

He’d get to that , maybe after like…the third date.

Cherrie let out a mixture between a cry and a laugh . Simply shaking her head at him in amazement before she finally surged forward and kissed him like he was the last man she ever would kiss.

And Sebastian was determined to be her forever too.

He would make her so happy . That was all he had ever wanted to do.

Kissing her back passionately as he held her close , clutching onto her body desperately.

"Wanna hear you say it." He whispered shakily against her mouth as she stole his breath away, gently  sucking on his tongue till he was a squirming mess on the couch beneath her.

Laughing breathlessly against his skin as she pressed one last kiss to his neck before reluctantly pulling away, pressing her forehead against his own as they caught back their breathes.

"I love you Seb." She promised him then. Hope lighting up her chest as she realised that this was finally her chance at full happiness.

She didn't need to be alone anymore.

Didn't have to go through all the good times and utterly shit times without anyone by her side to support her.

Sebastian was here now and he was planning on never leading her side again.

"That's good to hear.." he chuckled in a daze as he blinked slowly , trying to get his brain to work again.

"Would have been a little awkward if you didn't." He joked , wrapping his arms around her to pull her into a tight hug. Rocking them from side to side as best as he could while sitting down.

Both of them laughing as he pressed loud, over exaggerated kisses whenever his lips could reach. Grinning proudly at the happy giggles she let out in return.

Winking over at Angel when the little girl looked over at them to see what was going on. Shrieking with laughter just because they were laughing too, she started clapping her hands excitedly .

Sebastian laughed "see? She's knows how I feel! Your mommy loves me Angel. Isn't that cool?" He called over to the baby as though she had any clue what he was saying.

Angel just blew a raspberry at him again, giggling.

Sebastian couldn't believe it. By falling in love with the one woman that everybody thought he had no chance with, he had found his own little family too.

He couldn't wait to rub this in Daniels face the next time he saw him.

It only took his relentlessness and stubbornness to never give up on her to get him here.

He really needed to thank his coach for giving him

Her address . Maybe send him some champagne too.

Because She loved him.

Actually , truly loved him and she liked him too.

Who would have thought?

#Sebastian vettel imagine #Sebastian vettel x reader #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #Sebastian vettel

[emotionallyattachednerd]

Sweet Honey | G1 Bumblebee x f!robot reader | NSFW 18+

Word count: 1700+

Warnings: Smut ( spike in valve and first time ) and two inexperienced bugs. NSFW 18+.

Notes: Don't have enough G1 stories written, but slowly will build up over time I hope. Thanks anon for sending through this was rather cute and sweet to write. Enjoy. 🥰

☕ Coffee

Being the two youngest among the autobots it's no surprise from anyone that you both ended up together. You two were like teenage lovebirds, sweet to one another and always expressing your love. There is one thing though that hasn't quite happened yet, and that's interfacing.

There's no skill from either of you when it comes to interfacing, both completely new to it, virgins, and it's something you've both held out on for a long time, seeing no right moment for it to happen just yet. You did wonder why you haven't felt the need to do it with Bumblebee yet, though when you both talk to Ratchet about it he says it's normal to feel not ready, and that everyone feels different when it comes to something so intimate. He expressed that rushing or forcing it to happen won't help, and might cause either of you to express distress or regret.

So, you wait, and wait, until the moment happens.

On earth it's the new year, an event humans celebrated before the start of a new year. You and Bumblebee sat on top of the ark having the perfect view of where the fireworks were going to be set off. Everyone else was doing their own thing, even taking part of the celebration with Sparkplug, Spike and Carly among the other humans.

Bumblebee and you decided to have your time together, to spend time and share your love in your own privacy. Resting yourself against his chassis you gently trace your digit against his arm plating, optics looking over the spectacular view you both have, knowing you have the best seats in the house for the fireworks, which were to be set off within the next hour.

"Earth sure has its own beauty." You hear yourself whisper calmly.

"That it does, wish everyone sees it like we do." Bumblebee agrees through a tender hum. "Guess that's what makes us good together."

"Aye, very true." You snuggle into his side, nuzzling your face gently into the crook of his neck and let out a low purr. For a moment you continue to do this, before you feel his frame twitch slightly and hear his venting hitch. "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing..."

"You're a terrible liar." You can't help but smirk faintly before lifting yourself to look at him better. "Bee, what's got you tense?" You then feel his frame more, noticing his heat increasing. "You're heating up..."

"Yeah, I know." He sounds nervous, unsure even. "I...it's fine, I'll be fine."

"Don't keep secrets from me. You never have before, don't start now." You touch his face plating, caressing the area and getting him to look at you. "You can tell me anything, always."

For a moment he's quiet, before finally confessing. "Remember what Ratchet said? The moment will happen when it happens..."

"Yeah?" Confused, you stare at him, than you slowly figure out what's wrong with him. "Bee, are you aroused?"

"I think so?"

"Oh..."

He's indeed warming up more as you continue to caress his cheek plating without even realising it, and by the time you do, his plating is so warm, pinkish hue appearing in his face as you feel yourself growing oddly warm too. The sight of him like this, it sends a strange warm buzz through you, and now it's your turn to crumble in nerves.

"I think I am too." You barely manage to say while fiddling with your servos.

"Alright. So...what now?" Bumblebee sounds embarrassed, but you feel it too. Neither of you had any experience, and you already guessed that when it did happen it was going to be a learning experience, it just so happened suddenly without warning.

"Maybe we could touch one another?" You've seen videos, you both have of course, so you still had an idea where to begin.

Bumblebee nods, going along with it, and you lay back down before shyly moving your servo between his thighs and across his heated panel. You hear him let out a hitched exhale at contact, the heat continues to boil, before his panel retreats and and you watch as his spike emerges out of its housing.

Your digits lightly ghost across the twitching length, before gently wrapping your servo around the base and giving him a slow pump, feeling some of the soft bumpy ridges as his spike throbs eagerly under your touch. This feels good, and you're making him feel good.

Bumblebee is unable to suppress his sounds as he feels himself heat up even more throughout his entire frame, his waist bucking slightly under your touches before realising he should be touching you.

Shifting closer, you shyly retract your panel and your untouched valve is exposed for him to explore. Moving his own servo between your legs, your optics flutter as you feel his digit skip against your valve, feeling the odd bundle of nerves and warmth settling within you and growing more velvet-like, smooth and tender.

Moving your legs more apart you give him better access, keeping your servo wrapped around his pulsing spike while still gentilly pumping him, letting out soft vents as you feel his digits play between your valve lips. It's all an exploring adventure between you two, and you still have time before the fireworks and new year start.

Bumblebee skips a digit across your node that causes your body to jolt from the contact, followed by a whimpered mewl, and this makes him stop.

"Did I hurt you?" He's worried he's done something wrong.

"N-no, no, you didn't. Just felt...surprised, but in a good way." That's the best way you can answer it. "How about me? Is this alright?"

"Yeah, I like it." He says through an aroused gentle smile. "I'll keep going?"

Nodding is your answer and he resumes his actions. The two of you touch one another, bringing your arousal levels up quickly much to your surprise, covering your mouth a little to muffle your increasingly desired whimpers as your optics flutter close due to the boiling heat rushing through you.

At some point, and somehow, you end up straddling his lap, sharing a heated kiss with him as you grind yourself along his length, you're soaking valve lubricating his spike like overcharged beasts craving a good rutt. But this isn't that, this is your first time, and you're both ready. The ridges stimulate against your node, adding to the growing arousal and building more fluids through your channel.

Your growing moans are faint against his inner neck, glossa darting out to lick along his neck cables, causing his frame to quiver along with his own increasing moans, his spike begging to be buried in your valve. Meeting his baby blue optics, you caress his warm cheek, as he does the same to you, sharing dainty smiles, young love blooming even more, before you grab hold of him and position yourself against his leaking tip, slowly sinking as you let out a shaky exhale.

Grabbing hold onto his shoulders you control yourself as his spike stretches your channel, letting out a soft hiss feeling the burning sensation snap through your valve, tearing your seal and your lover claiming your innocence. The pain does linger, but not for too long, and it's not long before you're fully seated in his lap with his pulsing spike stretching through you.

Bumblebee lets out a stuttered hiss between clenched dentas with his servos gripping at your waist, holding you still while his face tightens as if he was both in pain and feeling overpowering pleasure. Only a few drops of tears stream down your cheek plating, and than they cease. It's not until you move slightly that Bumblebee jolts and lets out a startled groan before there's another warmth filling you.

"W-what was that?" You can't help but ask, the small burning pain still surrounding your valve, his spike twitching along with the warm fluids that suddenly soaks your inner channel.

"I...I think I overloaded?" Bumblebee doesn't even sound sure. "Sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen so fast, it just caught me off guard, and feels so good."

"Its alright. I mean, I'm more lubricated now, right? Can I move a little?" He nods and you slowly rock your hips. You're still unsure how to move, just that you try to stimulate yourself on him.

Even though he's already overloaded he feels the pleasure still against your rocking hips, moaning into your neck as he rests his servos against your hips, gently holding you against him while you slowly roll into his lap. The burning sensation slowly vanishes and the pleasure soon grows more fierce within you, grinding your node between your bodies in perfect sync as you keep his spike buried in your valve. It's all happening, and you want to finish it perfectly.

Your thoughts grow foggy as you continue to ride him while he bucks up slightly against your movements his spike twitching wilding even more much to your surprise, and hearing his startled venting hitching, you can only guess he's surprised himself that he's growing hard again, a second overload slowly building in him than.

No words are needed between you two and let the moment happen. His servos roam across your hips and waist, holding you close still as you start to bounce on his spike more, letting out moans and hitched vents while he thrusts up into your lightly, sounds increasing more vibrant from you, loving every second of it, silently questioning yourself why you never did this sooner.

"Bee, Bee..." His name moans from your lips, licking them eagerly as you feel yourself grow more hot and your thighs start shaking, servos resting closely against the back of his neck.

"Primus...oh Primus!" He stuttered loudly, arms clinging onto your quivering frame and jerks again deep in you.

In the exact moment, right at midnight, your overload erupts through your systems, your fluids flooding through, as you let out a high pitched moan mixing in with the fireworks setting off in the distance. You hold yourself against his chassis and nuzzle into his inner neck, purring gently between vented breaths, savouring the warm buzz still swimming.

"Oh Bee, that was wonderful." You say to him fondly. "Twice?"

"Yeah, twice." He chuckles lightly, sounding not fully convinced he was able to overload twice so fast. "Didn't think that was possible, yet it happened. Primus, I'll love you forever."

"As I will too." You share a tender kiss with him, caressing his warm cheek platings under your servos. "Happy new year, Bee."

"Happy new year, my love."

#transformers #g1 #bumblebee #valveplug #bumblebee x reader #reader insert #autobots #tf #smut #fanfiction #writing #fandom #sugarrusheag

[aurumacadicus]

Tony gets personal mail a week after he sends off his Dear John letter. He stares at it like it's a venomous snake, hands shaking whenever he reaches to open it. Finally, he takes it to Pepper, too ashamed of the disgust he might see on Rhodey's face when he tells him why he's scared to open it. (Rhodey had received a Dear John letter on his first deployment and it left him gun-shy of starting relationships anymore. Tony had promised he'd never be like the girl who broke his heart, wait to break up in person, but the idea of faking it in letters for eighteen months just to drop Steve on his ass as soon as he saw him feels no better.)

"...Tony," Pepper whispers, shoving the letter back at him frantically. "He hasn't gotten your letter yet."

"HUH?!" Tony bellows, snatching the letter open, and crumples to the ground when he sees it laden with 'sweetheart's and 'baby's and 'honey's. There's also some really raunchy stuff that he is mortified that Pepper saw. He looks back up at her, clutching the letter to his chest. "What. What do I do."

"Well, I don't think you can write back at this point," Pepper says after a brief pause.

So Tony doesn't, even though he keeps reading and rereading Steve's letter. Steve just didn't know he'd been broken up with when he'd written it. When Tony's letter catches up to him, he'll learn why Tony never wrote back to the one he sent. It's embarrassing, but, what can he do.

But Steve's letter's keep coming, week after week, and it dawns on Tony, as he reads about the things Steve's been doing, and he finally gets the PS of "I know mail is dodgy where I am but when are you going to write back :(", that his Dear John letter... must have gotten lost in the mail. Steve doesn't know Tony broke up with him two months ago.

Tony sits down to write another one, but in the end, he can't quite bear to write 'I think it's better if we part ways' twice. Especially not when he's found himself enjoying Steve's letters. Part of the reason he'd wanted to break up was because he knew he was clingy, and he'd never managed a long-distance relationship before (although, he realizes as he stares at the blank paper, he'd never broken up with anyone because of it; he'd been the one broken up with). Plus, all of Steve's comrades had such involved family and friends when it came to their service. Tony doesn't have the leisure of going hard for the army when his company is trying to change its image. Steve had said he'd understood, but he'd also looked a little sad about it. He hadn't really wanted to break up, anyway, he figures, rubbing a hand over his face. He'd just been trying to get ahead of Steve dumping him.

So he sends Steve a letter. He tells him his other letter must have gotten lost, but there was nothing important in it. He'll try to write more often. He just didn't know how often Steve would get his letters. He pauses writing again after sending it off, but then he gets a letter back from Steve telling him he was sorry he missed the other letter, and yes, mail calls might be sparse, but he'd happily take a stack of letters with the same joy as the letters trickling in one by one.

Tony falls more in love with Steve through their letters. This is a different side of him than he's ever seen before, somehow impossibly sweeter and yet even more sincere. He understands why Steve insisted on letters instead of emails beyond the basic 'there's not always internet where we are.' He adores going back, reading over things, tracing his fingers over the ink as if he can read how Steve felt when he wrote. He can't wait for Steve to come back from his deployment so he can see him face-to-face, tell him all about his stupid first letter and how glad he was that it got lost. Steve will almost certainly laugh. Tony's confident in that now.

And then, all at once, the letters stop. Tony doesn't notice at first--sometimes mail is sporadic. Steve can't give him his exact location, but he knows enough that sometimes, bags of letters aren't important compared to bags of supplies. He keeps writing, hesitantly deciding that maybe they're just... moving locations? Or. It's too dangerous for mail. Which is scary. But Steve being deployed is scary in general anyway. So. And Steve said he'd like a stack of letters. He'll be delighted by the size of the stack he gets.

Then one day his letter comes back. He didn't even know the army did 'return to sender.' He stares at the envelope for a long time. Maybe he'd gotten the address wrong. Maybe they moved? He doesn't know how addresses work in deployment. He turns the letter over, to see if it's still sealed.

DEAR JOHN is scrawled on the back, in big, block letters.

Tony drops it as if it burned him, and he claps his hands over his mouth to muffle the wounded keen tearing at his throat.

#ideas #stony #welcome to the suffer club i guess

[grizzersmamma]

Omg omg omg omg I just read both of your Deamon AU fics???? They are so good!! And beautifully written!!!

please please if not too much trouble, can I please request for that Au?? Maybe like all of 141 meeting each other and Deamon’s for the first time?? I picture Gaz has some kind of bird like a mourning dove or a humming bird and Price has a stronger dog breed- like a Shepard of a sheep bearding dog — y know something protective?

UGH I LOVE THIS AUUU A

((sorry if you aren’t taking requests on this, I just wanna say it’s the best thing I’ve read💕💕💕))

Requests are always open! (I just might take a while because I'm slow af lol)

I wanted to get this out this weekend just passed, but I got a fresh 'rona shot on Friday and it took me out with more precision than a sniper bolt to the face jfc. I absolutely adore the thought of Gaz with a little birb (a pretty one ofc), but I'd actually already picked something out for him, so I hope you like it almost as much as your idea. Regardless, I hope you enjoy!

Summary: John Price has hand picked every member of his Task Force carefully to create the perfect team we have today, even if it hasn't always felt like that.

Notes: Written from Price's POV reflecting on the team's past.

Pairing: John "Soap" MacTavish x Simon "Ghost" Riley

Series Masterlist: Here

CoD Masterlist: Here

Taglist: @heyitsropi

The first time John met Simon, he was only that, Simon Riley. The Ghost was yet to exist, and in his place, was a young man still full of life. He was friendly enough to the men close to him, but with a weariness toward anyone unknown.  

That caution, of course, extended toward John in the early few days. The first few times they interacted, he was strictly professional, his daemon even more so. The panther would stalk along beside her human, remaining in silence throughout all discussions, coming and leaving as quietly as a shadow. 

But over time, the younger man gradually began to settle. Simon certainly wasn’t the only person in the military to suffer from a rather poor childhood riddled with trauma and pain, and his team were kind enough to never push him too far. He would always maintain a slight distance between himself and the rest of the men on his squad, but he was often quick to smile and joke with them, telling what very well could have been the worst “dad jokes” known to man.  

Both Simon and Elanor seemed to revel in the pained groans his terrible jokes could invoke, smiling innocently as if not understanding why everyone was so upset. It wasn’t a surprise to learn that Simon had a younger brother, he certainly had the annoying-older-brother act nailed down perfectly.  

After a few good missions together, Simon was less reluctant to talk about his family with John in the room, discussing what he planned to get his nephew for Christmas, where he wanted to take his mum out for lunch during leave, and how he was going to get Tommy back for getting a stain on his ManU jersey.  

Simon was a good man and a great soldier, and John was disappointed when the time came for him to return to his own unit. John was to travel up north toward Herefordshire and Simon was to meet with some of their American contacts to help root out a cartel down in Mexico.  

Ghost was not the same person as Simon. He had the same daemon, the same brown eyes, but he was not Simon. He lacked the underlying gentleness in his eyes, and he’d grown to be cold and closed off toward everyone around him, friend or foe.  

If Simon’s daemon had been quiet before, she was dead silent now. Liz would trot over to the cat with a slowly wagging tail and try to greet her, but the panther would just look at her, before slinking off to go rejoin her human. It was heartbreaking to see a daemon who had only just started to come out of her shell become so walled off again.  

Sometimes he wouldn’t even see the animal in the same room and couldn’t help wondering where the daemon could have vanished to. Just seeing a daemon so far away from its human sent a shiver down John’s spine whenever he thought about it, his fingers instinctively curling themselves into the soft fur of his own.  

The reports he had seen about what had happened to Simon to create this Ghost, some of them first-hand from Simon’s own therapist, sent his stomach rolling uncomfortably, and the parts about their treatment of Elanor? He had sweat beading his forehead and Liz pulled into his lap. The rough collie did her best to comfort him, but he could feel her own distress at just the thought of such a thing happening.  

It took well over half a year before Ghost and Elanor were comfortable with turning their backs on John and Liz, and several before they were comfortable working alongside them. The Ghost and his daemon worked alone, but John and Liz were gradually, slowly, at the rate of a melting glacier, becoming an exception to the rule.  

This made it particularly difficult when Ghost was introduced to Soap.  

John MacTavish was, and still is, a loud and confident man. He doesn’t tolerate nonsense and will proudly stand behind his own personal morals and beliefs, even if it’s to the detriment of his professional career. He stands for what’s right, regardless of the consequences, and he’s entirely unapologetic of that fact.  

Soap’s daemon, Gwen, is a perfect match for him. A honey badger, just as unconcerned with the thoughts and feelings of others, and entirely fearless, even when up against daemons easily twice her size. They share a fierce aggression that would have most shaking in their boots, and John has seen firsthand even lions fleeing from their warpath.  

To say that Soap was a bit... much... for Ghost would be an understatement. Soap is so openly friendly with every team he works with, both verbally and physically, and his rather emotional responses to things seem to constantly have the masked soldier on edge.  

Since their first meeting, Soap has learned to reign in his emotions and has matured greatly with the help of experience and the guiding hands of more seasoned soldiers. But several years ago, fresh out of SAS selection, he was far too much for a quiet Ghost who could hardly stand having even John working with him at the best of times.  

While their first meeting didn’t exactly go swimmingly, it ended amicably enough since Soap didn’t seem to take Ghost’s reluctance to socialise to heart. Meanwhile, Ghost just appeared glad to have a break from spending time around someone so bright and bubbly, almost immediately vanishing on a solo mission for a week.  

Kyle was a much safer bet for working alongside Ghost. The young man, while inexperienced, was the top of his class and always eager to learn more. He was like a sponge, soaking up every little piece of advice he’s given and doing his best to apply it to his work. He always asks the right questions at the right times, and always thinks on his words before speaking.  

His daemon, a friendly marbled polecat by the name of Milly, was the first daemon Elanor was willing to open up to. She wasn’t insistent like many of the other daemons in the military, providing the panther with plenty of space, but always choosing to sit beside her, greeting her with a happy chirp. These simple greetings were eventually returned with small nods or pleasant rumbles, and over time, and two daemons fell into the rhythm of being at one another’s side.  

Gaz was always seeking out new things to learn and Ghost had plenty to teach. No matter how difficult the lesson, he would always have the determination to see it through to the end, and his mature, competent nature was gradually winning over the stubborn lieutenant. On the rare occasion where Kyle wasn’t with John, he could be confident that Ghost would have the younger man’s back.  

But Gaz brought more than plain professionalism to their team, he also brought the fun, youthful spark that the group had been missing. His sassy remarks during OPs and cheeky behaviour off the field was worming its way under Ghost’s thick skin, and John could see it in the way his lieutenant began to offer banter of his own in return.  

It was like watching a grizzled old dog interacting with a friendly young pup, slowly relearning what it meant to actually enjoy life here and there. Sometimes Ghost still needed that time to be alone with Elanor, but Kyle and Milly were drawing them out of the dark and back into the light again.  

More often than not the two could be found sitting peacefully together, doing nothing but enjoying the company of their fellow brother in arms. Whether it was eating meals together in private where others wouldn’t see Ghost removing part of his mask, running on the track first thing in the morning to wake themselves up, or claiming the bench under the old tree where they could discuss upcoming schedules or laugh at the young recruits just learning to walk, it was all done by each other's side.  

John could see the pride in Ghost’s eyes whenever Gaz managed to get an upper hand on him in training, he could see how Elanor now greeted Milly with a gentle headbutt, how trust was building between them and their team was solidifying into something unbreakable. Gaz was a loyal man, almost to a fault, but he had awarded that loyalty to John and Ghost and, in return, had been given it back tenfold. 

But the team was yet to be complete, and it wouldn’t be, not until John MacTavish joined them.  

John was admittedly still not certain how well Ghost would take to working so closely with Soap after finding the other man a tad overwhelming the first time, but with Liz’s encouragement and seeing how much Ghost was beginning to come out of his shell, he had no choice but to commit to the selection. Soap’s file reported nothing but constant rapid improvement. He was a talented, driven man, and precisely someone John wanted on his new task force.  

The offer was sent out and immediately accepted.  

Soap and Gaz were, understandably, complete menaces. Two young men eager to prove themselves and have a little fun while they’re at it. They’re thick as thieves and both just as determined to inconvenience John as much as possible while dodging reprimands like the plague. “A bunch of children” he’d called them one day, earning a grunt of agreement from Ghost, Liz and Elanor sharing a look of endless suffering. 

As for the relationship between Ghost and Soap, the best John was hoping for was for them to learn to accept one another, even if that was just enough to be able to put their best foot forward during missions. And it worked well enough, until Las Almas happened. Until Sheperd happened. 

Until Simon happened.  

Years of hiding away, and suddenly it wasn’t Ghost standing before him. It was Simon.  

Soap was looking right at him, and Simon was looking right back.  

Something had changed between them. From the report he got from the two soldiers about the events that transpired he couldn’t tell what, but it was clearly something significant. It had changed them from work colleagues to something far more dangerous. A better man would have nipped it in the bud before it had the change to potentially ruin them, but John has never claimed to be a good man, good men don’t last long in their line of work.  

If he and Gaz are a good team, Ghost and Soap are unstoppable.  

When they think he’s not looking, John has caught how Gwen excitedly jumps around Elanor’s body, learning against the dangerous predator and covering her with affectionate licks. More surprising, is how Elanor returns the behaviour, nipping playfully at the badger’s feet and tussling about on the carpet like a pair of kittens.  

It isn’t until he sees Soap’s bare hand brush through Elanor’s fur that he knows the depth of what they are to one another.  

He just hopes he hasn’t made a horrible mistake.  

#call of duty modern warfare #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #captain john price #writing #daemon au #his dark materials #crossover #soapghost #ghostsoap #soap x ghost #ghost x soap #ghoap #we love the gaz and ghost relationship #and I'll write it myself if need be

[footballfanficwriter]

The break up pt3

Summary:where Jude is Determined to get to the bottom of the reader's distress after finding her at Jobe's Match

⚠️mentions of abuse and physical abuse⚠️

A/n: This is still written from Jude's POV like pt.2 also don't play the song yet I'll let you know when to play it

We just got home from Jobe's match and he's obviously much calmer then he was when we left the house

"Ok what's the first order of business, Mr.stalker"

"Don't call me that, and the first thing we need to do is search all my fanpages"

"Why are we doing that"

"If this guy posted those pictures that we took together, which he most likely did, the fan pages will tag him and reveal his profile

"So what we're just going to wait until he posts the picture?"

"Exactly" I say

"For a detective, you're a very horrible one"

"Patience is the key to success"

"I wonder where that will get you"

After waiting for about 2 hours one of the fan accounts posted the picture of me and the guy with a tag to his profile

The rest of the night is spent trying to find any information that we can but everything is just a dead end

Y/n hasn't posted anything since we broke up, her "boyfriend" also doesn't post either unless it's on his story and he doesn't  have anything highlighted so we can't even see previous stories that he's posted

"Don't you think it's time to give it all up?, we've been at it for hours" Jobe asks

"Jobe, I think I've actually lost her, there's no way we're going to find her now, nothing on her account indicates where she could be, or where she could Be living"

"Jude I think it's time to let it go"

I sigh not knowing what to so next

"I think I'm gonna go to bed" I say

"Why don't you just find someone else to be with I'm sure it won't be that difficult"

"But that's the thing I don't want anyone else, I want her, and the time I actually want to care for her and help her she's not reachable, I feel so stupid, she was right there In front of me and I didn't do anything, I didn't approach or try to at least make contact,  I just stood there"

"You're being hard on yourself"

"This is the punishment I have to face for what I did"

"You went to therapy"

"It clearly isn't enough"

"You'll get over it Jude, sooner or later you will get over it and you'll look back on this moment and you'll laugh"

I give him a tight lipped smile as I can see that he's trying to cheer me up, I mean I love Jobe but sometimes the idiot is just annoying, most of the time he's supportive and is always there as my comfort

I call it a night and go to bed and fall asleep, well I try to fall asleep, I just lie awake staring at the ceiling

For the next 3-4 days my family and I are spending quality time and sharing family moments and making memories

"Jude, c'mon mate we're  gonna be late for the reservation"

"Bro what are you on about I'm the only one that's ready amongst the four of us"

After everyone is dressed and ready to go to the restaurant that we usually go to when we spend family time

When we arrive we order our food and coverstation starts flowing

I glance out the window and see a woman walking with her child in a pram/stroller

That's Y/n, she looks totally oblivious to her environment around her and doesn't seem to notice the truck coming up next to her as she's crossing the street

I quickly get up and run out of the restaurant to try and save the baby that is about to be killed

I run as fast as I can and make it just in time to pull the pram/stroller back onto the pavement/sidewalk

All that seems to have snapped y/n out of her trans and she looks at me like she's only just noticing my presence now

(Play the song)

"What are you doing here Jude"

"I was saving this baby"

"From what?"

"The truck"

"What truck?"

"The one that was about to kill the baby"

She sight and whispers "not again" under her breath

"Give me my baby back" she says

"Your baby?"

"Yeah"

I hand the baby back to her and she takes him and places him back into the pram/stroller

"Hey listen why don't you come back home with us, you look out of it right now and it's obviously not safe for the baby, i'll drive you back home"

"No thanks"

"C'mon y/n don't be like that, I promise I'm not going to do anything, you're free to leave any time you want"

"Fine" she says

I call the rest of my family and they greet Y/n, we go back home after our dinner date was cut jot due to the events that took place

When we arrive back home mum won't let this child go, she just refuses to put him down

Y/n sits on the couch like she's scared she'll ruin something

"Can I get you something?" I ask

"No thank you"

"C'mon y/n, don't be like that, let's talk"

"Jude I've got a lot of things on my plate right now to be stressing or talking about the past"

"I don't like the way we ended things"

"We wouldn't have had to end things if you had just kept it in your pants"

I look down in my lap not being able to face her and look her in the eyes

"I'm sorry"

"How many times have I  heard those words"

"This time I mean it"

"Whatever, can I have my child back now, I wanna leave, coming here was a mistake"

"Before you go I have one more thing to ask"

"What?"

"Is he mine"

"Why would you think that?"

"Because he looks like me"

"So?"

"That's usually an indicator of parental relation"

"Give me back my baby"

"Answer the question"

"I don't owe you anthing"

"I deserve to know, did you cheat on me?"

"Oh please Jude I am not like you, I don't cheat on people I'm in a relationship with"

"Then why won't you tell me"

"Because I don't want to"

"That's not an answer"

"Well then shame, give me my baby"

"Answer the question is that little boy in there my son"

She's silent

"Answer"

"Yes, he is"

To be continued...

Kidding, continue reading

"You kept that all away from me?, didn't you think I deserved to know?"

"Remember the day I left you, we had reservations made at a restaurant and we couldn't go because you'd forgotten we had plans and you came home drunk"

I nod my head indicating that I understand

"That was the day I was gonna tell you, that you and I would be parents"

"But still you should've told me"

"You came back home drunk, you'd forgotten the dinner reservations, you came back home with a hikey on your neck and having a feminine smell on your clothes, I obviously was'nt gonna tell you"

I step closer to her and place my hands on her arms and slightly grip on her arms

She flinches like I've just hit her

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah"

"I'm so sorry"

"I refuse to do this with you Jude" she says moving away from my hold

I try to ignore her rejection but I can't it's right there and I can't ignore it

"Can I have my child back now"

"He's our child"

"You were not there when he was born, all your rights of being a father have been revoked"

"I didn't know if I knew I would have been there"

"Well it's not my fault you decided to cheat, you made the choices you made and I never pressured you to do any of the things you did"

"So what are you going to do now?, this boy needs a father in his life, how are you going to fill the shoes of both a mother and a father?"

"I won't need to, because he already has a father"

"Who?"

"Chase"

"Who, the guy you were with at the stadium?"

"Yeah"

"You can't do that"

"Watch me, now I'm leaving"

"You convinced another guy that he was the father of our child"

"Oh no he knows, he's just there for support and to fill in the shoes you can't"

"Bit harsh innit"

"Whatever Jude"

She's about to go to the Kitchen to get the baby from my mom but I pull her by her long sleeve and it reveals her shoulder where I see a bruise

"What's that?" I ask

She looks at her shoulder and quickly pulls her shirt up

I have to get out of here" she says and walks away but before she can do that I pull her back

I take her arm and pull her sleeve up to reveal more bruises

"What happened"

"I bumped myself"

"You must have bumped yourself a lot of times then"

"Yeah I did"

"You're lying"

"What?"

"You're lying"

"What makes you say that"

"Your lip slightly twitches when you lie, but you have to watch it closely or else you miss it"

"You're such a creep"

"It's not creepy to notice, things about a person it just means I pay attention to the small things"

"Yeah well I notice small things as well"

"Oh yeah like what?"

"Like I notice how before every match you go to the pitch and you step in with your left foot then right, point each foot before crossing the line, poke the grass and wipe of the dirt of your pants"

"Yeah well that's not really something" I say

"Oh what about, when you're nervous"

"What do I do when I'm nervous"

"You wipe your eyebrows with your right hand, wiping your left first then your right"

"Ok fine then, I guess you do pay attention"

"See, I always pay attention to the little things"

"Yeah,and it seems like I can as well" I say

She pulls her hand out of mine and walks away

"Y/n, is he abusing you?"

She stops in her tracks and doesn't turn around

"No, he doesn't"

"Turn around"

She slowly turns around and looks down to the floor, I walk closer to her and lift her head up with my finger

"Does he abuse you"

"No" she says

"Your lip twitched"

"No it didn't"

"Y/n it did"

"No it didn't"

"So he abuses you"

"Sometimes"

"How often is somtimes?"

"Depends on what happens"

"What would provoke him to beat you?"

"If his favorite football team doesn't win, if I don't do something the way he wants me too, if the baby is crying and I can't keep him quiet"

"Y/n, that's not right"

"It's fine"

"No it's not"

"Jude it's fine, I've gotten use it"

"I'm gonna kill him, where is he"

"Jude stop , I have to live with it, I can't leave him, he took everything from me, he  forced me to quit my job, took away my savings and took away any assets that I had for myself"

It's quiet for some time and I look at her and she looks like she's thinking about a lot

"Is my taste in men really that bad, am I really that desperate for love that even when there are clear and obvious signs that I'm not loved I still stay?" She asks herself crying

"What do you mean? I ask

" I was in love with a man that cheates then got pregnant by him, then I moved out and got into a relationship with an abuser and now I have nothing"

"Y/n, there aren't any words in this world to Express how sorry I am for everything that I've done to you, I just really need you to know that, and I'm working on myself i really am, I've started going to therapy and my therapist says that I've made a lot of progress"

"That's very good for you Jude, I'm proud of you for finally taking my advice, I know how scared you were"

She moves to the sofa and sits in silence, I move to the sofa next to her and sit next to her and we sit In silence until I break it

"Come live with me"

"What"

"I'm not saying get back together with me, I'm just saying come live with me, you and our baby boy, we'll co parent and that's as far as our relationship will go, we'll share the responsibilities of parents and we can help eachother"

"I don't know Jude"

"Please, I want to prove that I can be a good father and that I can be there for my son, I want to be present in my child's life"

"What about Chase?"

As she says that her phone rings, she looks at her phone then back at me

"It's him"

"Hello?"

"Yeah, I decided to take Enzo for a walk, he was restless and he didn't want to sleep so I thought I should take him out a bit"

"Yeah, we're on our way home soon"

"Yeah, I'll cook"

"He won't make a noise, yeah I promise it won't happen again"

"Bye, I love you too"

She hangs the phone and looks at me

"You're not going back there, I won't allow it, if I let you go there how do I know that you'll be safe?"

"Jude, please don't make this difficult"

"Y/n, I'm not letting you leave this house to go to an abuser"

"Stop"

"No"

"Jude"

"Y/n"

"Fine, but if he comes for me or my son you will be held responsible"

"Deal, so does that mean you're moving in with me?"

"Well I have no where else to go, my mother disowned me, and she doesn't know about Enzo, so yeah I guess we are"

"Great, we leave next week, so get everything you need cause we won't be back in England for some time"

"Ok but how am I suppose to do that with Chase as our obstacle, all our clothes and things are there in the house"

"We'll sneak into the house when he's at work and take your things"

"Ok"

"We'll leave tomorrow, for now just get comfortable and don't stress about anything"

"Thank you Jude"

"You're welcome y/n"

"Where is Enzo?"

"With my mom, c'mon I'll show you the guest room"

We walk upstairs and I show her to the guest room

"Here you are"

"Thank you"

"You're welcome, get some rest, I'll take care of Enzo"

"Ok thanks, remember he doesn't like to be held like a baby, also when you feed him use a spoon not a teaspoon, he doesn't like it, place a bib on him because he always makes a mess and if you want to put him to sleep hold him close to your chest and play late 90s-Early2000s R&B songs, he's just weird like that I don't know I think he gets it from you"

"Ok, don't worry I'll look after him"

"Thank you"

"No problem"

I walk out of the room and head downstairs to find everyone cooing at Enzo

"Are they staying?" Mom asks

"Yeah, they are, actually we're moving I

together"

"What?"

"They are coming with us to Madrid next week"

"Oh ok that's great" mom says

"So is he your child?"

"Yeah he is"

"Why didn't she tell you about him?" Dad asks

"Dad I wasn't honest with you when I told you the reason for My break up with y/n"

"Why did you do?"

"I cheated on her multiple  times and eventually she got fed up and left but it turns out when she left she was pregnant with my child and she didn't tell me, because I had upset her"

"My gosh Jude, how can you mess up like that"

"I know, I know but now we're ok we're moving in together and I've been going to therapy so I'm working on bettering myself"

"So you're getting back together?"

"No we're not, we just gonna be co parenting and sharing responsibilities because Y/n's boyfriend has been abusive towards her and just because we're not together anymore, doesn't mean I can't protect her"

"Well I'm glad, you know I've always wanted to be a grandma" mom says

"But taking care of a child is not easy" dad says

"That's why we'll have eachother"

"And me" mom says

I give her a thankful look and she smiles at me

"We going to get her and Enzo's things tomorrow, it's just clothes so we'll be fine"

"And what if you meat her boyfriend there, then what?"

"We won't, and even if we do he won't try anything,especially with me there"

"Ok Jude, but just be careful, you don't know what he's capable of" Mom says

"I will, I promise,Where's Enzo"

"Who?"

"The baby"

"That's his name?"

"Yeah"

"Oh how cute"

"Yeah, it is anyway where is he, he probably hasn't eaten"

I pick him up and walk to the kitchen to try and find something to each, I finally decide to in mash potatoes since he can't eat solid foods yet

After making the mashed potatoes I sit on the couch and place a towel on my leg because y/n said it gets messy when he eats

after feeding him and swiping his mouth I try to put him to sleep

So I walk to my room, switch the speaker on and put them on low volume so it's not so loud, I take my shirt off and carry him and he lays his head on my chest right by my heart and I start swaying from side to side while lightly singing along with the song

He eventually falls asleep, but I don't want to lay him down yet, and as if on queue the door opens to reveal y/n

"Hi" she says

"Hey"

"Is he asleep"

"Yeah, he is, your advice worked, he wasn't restless at all"

"Wait until you actually see his restless side, it won't be so pretty

"Yeah I can imagine, hey are ready to leave tomorrow?"

"Yeah a bit nervous but I'm ready"

"Ok, well if you need anything just let me know"

"Yeah, I just wanted to check on Enzo, Denise told me he was with you"

"Yeah"

"Ok well uhm if you need me I'll be in the guest room"

"I'll bring him in a few moments"

"Ok"

She leaves the room and closes the door on her way out leaving us both with her scent

I sigh and continue swaying from side to side with my son in my arms

After about an hour and 30 minutes I walk out of the room and walk to the guest room where y/n is

I knock on the door and she opened the door

"I just came to bring him back"

"Oh yeah, uhm you can place him on the bed"

I walk into the room and place Enzo on t3 bed and he coos

"Thanks "

"Yeah,oh and by the way we're leaving at 8:00 am Tomorrow"

"Ok, I'll see you Tomorrow"

"Great"

I leave the room and go to my own and just let the say sink in

After some time I decide to go to bed and sleep but like always I can't and I just end up starting at the ceiling until I hear my bedroom door open

"Jude?" I hear y/n voice in the dark

"Mh"

"Are you asleep?"

"No, what do you need"

"Enzo won't stop crying and I've tried everything but nothing is working, do you mind taking him, maybe he'll settle down"

"Sure bring him over" I say

She walks over towards me and places Enzo next to me, but he cries even more

Y/n picks him up and starts bouncing up and down trying to calm him down

"Come here" I say

"What?"

"Just trust me"

"Ok"

She gets into bed next to me

"Now what" she asks

"Lye on the bed and get comfortable"

She sighs but does it anyway

I do the same and enzo lies on his back and stops crying immediately

Cheeky little thing

After a few minutes I finally fall asleep.

The next day

It 7:30 in the morning and y/n and I need to leave the house in 30 minutes

We reach the apartment at 8:30 and she opens the door to the apartment and to say it was a mess would be an understatement

There were empty beer bottles lying everywhere on the floor broken glass, a couch that looked like it came from the junk yard every piece of furniture was horrible

"I'll get started" y/n says breaking me out of my trans

"Ok"

I walk around the apartment and the more I walk the more in disbelief I am, the fact that Enzo had to live here and how much abuse Y/n had to endure

I walk into a room that looks like it was once a baby's room but the cradle is in a pile of wood like it was smashed and in the corner is a mattress with a huge stain of blood in the middle with a blanket and a pillow

Y/n walks into the room

"I'm done packing"

"So quickly?"

"Yeah well there was not much anyway"

"Ok, let's go then"

We leave the apartment and drive back home in silence

"So I noticed there was no bed there, where did you and Enzo sleep"

"On the Mattress that you saw in the baby room"

"The one that had a huge stain on it?"

"Yeah"

"How did the blood get there"

"He'd hit me very hard one day and it was painful I could barely recognize my face in the mirror and instead of putting ice on my wounds I just slept on the mattress and bled there and I tried to wash the stain but it never came off , so I just cuddled him like teddy bear"

"I'm sorry, you had to go through that?"

"It's fine"

When we arrive at home Enzo is fast asleep thanks to my mother

"Hey mom"

"Hi love, you alright?"

"Yeah, we got everything we needed"

"Oh that's great, Enzo is asleep"

"Ok, thank you Denise"

"No problem love"

"Uhm y/n, I forgot to tell you but I got a message from Madrid yesterday and we have to cut our stay short, we need to leave the day after tomorrow"

"So this is our last day here?"

"Yeah it is but we'll come back eventually"

"It's fine, it's not like I have anything keeping me here"

"Ok, just be ready"

"Yeah I will, anyway I'm going to take a shower"

"Ok"

She walks upstairs and heads to the bathroom

"You still like her don't you?"

"Unfortunately, more then I would like to admit it"

"Just take it slow ok, think about your baby boy and everything will fall into place"

"Yeah, but she seems resistant"

"She's heartbroken Jude, she's obviously going to start pushing all her Male interests away"

"Yeah, I guess you're right"

2 days later

"Bye love, we'll see you soon ok , and we'll call you as soon as we arrive

"Ok mom, I love you"

"I love you too Jobe"

We say goodbye to Jobe and dad because we're going back to Spain

The time I spent here was nice I really enjoyed myself and I found y/n after I had no hope of finding her and I found out I had a son which is also amazing but I'm concerned for y/n I think she needs therapy after the things she went through she'll definitely need it

After we arrive in Madrid, we drop mom off at her house we go back to mine and the minute we walk in y/n scopes the house

"I haven't been here in a while"

"Everything is still where you left it"

"Thanks, we'll tale the guest room"

"Cool"

She walks away with her and Enzo's bags then comes back to get Enzo

"Goodnight Jude"

"Goodnight Y/n"

She walks away toward the guest room

"Oh hey I was thinking, what do you think of going to Therapy, you know maybe get someone to talk to about your trauma and stuff"

"I'll think about it"

"Ok"

"Thanks for the suggestion"

"No problem"

"And I promise I'll be out of your hair soon, I'll find a job and move out, but you'll still get to see Enzo, we'll have 50/50 % of custody over him"

"No don't be in a rush to move out, you can stay for as long as you need to"

"I don't think that's gonna work, well goodnight"

"Goodnight"

And she's gone, she's so close yet so far

#judebellingham #football fanfic #romance #world cup #x reader #fan fiction #football #love #soccer fanfiction #imagine #reader #judebellingham fanfic #jude x reader #jude #jude bellingham fanfiction #jude bellingham #jude bellingham fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #jude victor willliam bellingham #jude bellingham x y/n #jude bellingham x you #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham imagine #soccer fan fiction #soccer #england squad #hot footballers #footballer #football fanfiction

[kit-williams]

non Khorne canon

thank you @callme-cursed for inspiring me with this:

Khorne - Your father's astartes only got more temperamental with age. Small things seemed to become the greatest slight one could make against him. You left for your own safety quietly in the night. It was unfortunate to realize so late you were his favorite. Now he is on a war path to find you again.

And letting me write something that no matter how hard I tried just keeps turning lewd. I'm keeping him legion/chapter-less so that anyone can insert their favorite legion/chapter. (Since its lewd its why I'm tagging my usual people)

Normal taglist: @bispecsual @egrets-not-regrets @moodymisty @bleedingichorhearts @liar-anubiass-blog @thevoidscreams

tw: dubious consent? maybe noncon? Can read either way I suppose but either way you're getting dicked down. Written in 1st person because I have a problem

I get a notification on my phone about a break in at my apartment and the pictures show your family's astartis breaking in and looking around most likely barking for your name. He had started to act odder and odder... getting angry and aggressive with everyone especially with everyone around myself... getting far too affectionate and starting to bring me home trophies. I decided to stay at my apartment more it's why it's there because I am a big girl... but he wanted me at home where he could watch me.

I decided it was time for one of my hiking trips. I call dad just telling him what he's done and just that I decided to take a hiking trip for a few weeks. I've been doing it since I was sixteen... and even then sure I'd be hiking with him. I swallow as I have to keep going to get to that dry spot as the rain picks up.

I'll probably take a different trail then I normally do to throw him off my trail but I'm certain dad can wrangle him in... he's always been a stubborn astartis but just him being a big bully and him... I don't even know what to call it? Online people called it courtship behaviors... others said it was just being overly affectionate and showing which person is their favorite... the internet was no help in dealing with his recent mood swings and it scared me.

Sure he was grumpy when I was younger but now he was getting straight up violent and it made me feel so unsafe even if it never was directed at me or the parents; I just had to get out of there so fast. I've always hated confrontation and just I was always a coward. It would be fine....

But it was not fine... I run my fingers through my long hair as I read the text in the morning... Dad: ... hasn't come home. He might be going to look for you. I close your flip phone as I quickly pack up my camp knowing I have less and less time to get to the trail split and if I'm lucky he'll just keep going looking for me and then go home.

It was always so pretty the morning after a rain... the way raindrops clung to leaves, to moss, hanging suspended in spider webs... just a breeze shaking those drops free from their perches giving me another mini shower under a canopy. But I didn't have time to enjoy the relaxing bit of nature as I headed quickly to the split and when I finally got there I made sure I didn't stop powerwalking down the path until lunch.

The rain was threatening to come back as I was upset at how much rain there seemed to be typical weather people lying... I hold my breath as I suddenly hear a humming as the forest goes quiet and I turn my head and see the bloody visage of him... the family astartis... freshly harvested skulls on his hip both animal and human. His breath comes out hot and heavy as he pants and I can see it in the air as he leans his head back just grinning like a madman to the sky as it suddenly unloads.

My legs get cuts as I sprint through the underbrush just running blindly as he calls my name rushing after me. My lungs burn as I run tempted to throw away my bag to run faster but he'd certainly use it as leverage if I do get away. I hear water as I realize I'm near that cute spot... with the little pond and the waterfall. I stop above the pond as the water is coming down... a jump into the water from this height would hurt, I would know the memory of me doing it one summer hike with him.

"Sweetheart..." He brays softly as he walks out of the woods looking at you as I stay near the edge of the rocks, "come on take a step away... you look so cold. I can help with that." I can hear the layered meaning in his voice no longer hiding it. I remember admitting it once that I had a small crush on him but that was when I was young and hormonal and crazy for anything man shaped. How he just laughed at that and found it cute... that was a decade ago it seems he's changed his mind on that.

"Just leave me alone." I say threatening to take another step back.

"Get over here now." He snarls and I nearly rush over to him in obedience but I just shake my head as he looks so angry at me it causes my eyes to water as I feel so scared.

He takes a step forward and I jump back and the look on his face is surprise before I know it he's right there jumping after me having to jump somewhere else to avoid crushing me. He wasn't the best swimmer so I think I have time... I think I have time... I crawl out of the water coughing slightly just taking a moment to rest my limbs. Its in that moment I feel a hand thread through my hair and grip my hair by the scalp.

I scream and claw his hand as its hard not to know who is dragging me by my hair given how his nails dig into my forehead causing me to bleed. The rain seems to drown my begging and screaming as he drags me to the "lovers cove". Rain hits a tarp hidden by leaves and vines as I remember finding this place as it was nice to camp here in the summer with the firepit roaring. Of course you couldn't stay here long having to explain to him why... because it was really only used for sex.

I'm too tired to move as jumping in my full gear was exhausting. I feel the flash of heat as he starts to pull on my clothes and I struggle as he snarls and fights me out of my soaking wet clothes. I'm trembling both from how wet and cold I am but also so afraid of being alone with him right now.

He seems to visibly relax as he pets my head and starts to dry my skin by rubbing a dry fur pelt against my flesh as he mutters and nuzzles my face just trilling as he continues to dry me off. His lips brushing against my cheek and temple as his thumb roughly swipes away my now flowing tears. Trying to calm me down as he rummages through my wet bag trying to heat up a ration for me. His eyes nervously darting over to me as if he is worried that I'll try to take off into the dark raining forest fully naked. I look over at him... the large two headed eagle tattoo on his back is still there though now holding what looks like a crown of thorns. It looks like a large back piece has been outlined in one of those chaos shapes... for Khorne you think.

He puts the ration in my lap and nuzzles me as he has me in his lap... and I realize he's naked too... I can feel his excitement against my back as he maneuvers my hand to pick up my spoon and I start to eat. I whimper and let out a soft sob as he hugs me tightly trying to soothe me. I rub my eyes as his hands move up and down my sides... trying to calm me down but it only riles me up and I try to move out of his lap.

His arms flex as he puts me in a headlock and his leg wraps around my own to keep me in place as he is snarling and barking at me in his tongue and I can't help but burst out into tears as he lets me go and I cower just afraid... I hate it when people yell at me... especially men... so loud so scary. He croons apologetically his body covering mind but then his breathing hitches as he starts to throb more as I realize his cock is against my sex... and to my horror... I'm not physically repulsed by the action.

I can't even say his name to try and stop him as he's already pulling your hips up as you manage to slip between his fingers to scramble away and he pounces on you. Your lungs hurt as you wheeze out the air feeling him rut against you licking the side of your head and you can't help but burst into tears as you moan out shamefully. You beg with a hiccupped sob for him to stop and he does... for a moment.

"Need... need to mark... need... need to keep." He hisses through clenched teeth. "No more separation... " He says before turning my head and shoving his tongue down my throat it feels. His fingers fumble against my sex before one slips so easily inside of me... roughly preparing me but there is not much to prepare... I'm so wet. "So sad... so helpless... " He moans into my neck pushing another finger into my sex as he does his best to prepare me for the burn of the stretch. He pulls his fingers out and shoves them into his own mouth tasting me. "Need me... need me to protect... I protect. Always protect." He says in stilted English as he pulls me off the ground before putting me on a shitty "bed" with a pelt he brought with him most likely thrown over it.

I try to beg for him to stop but he pushes his thumb against my tongue to stop me. He tilts my head up and I see several skulls around the bed. He practically purrs as I start shaking as they are all human skulls... some still stained red, "I protect... scared little sweetheart."

He says just hooking his hands under my knees tilting me up before sliding into me. He has to stop and close his eyes to not start pummeling his hips into mine but his pace is still just a bit to fast and little too hard and I can't help but cry up at him. But now I whimper and whine... he leans in and kisses me hard and passionately. I arch feeling the fur of the pelt against my back only leave ghosts of an impression on my skin... the skulls watching him fuck me hard are a ghost of a memory...I feel that pleasure course through my veins as he presses himself against me as deeply as he can as I orgasm and the clenching flesh around him causes him to spill over the edge.

We tumble over that edge as the rain picks up, lightning lights the forest, and thunder shakes the trees. Tears roll down my cheeks as he holds me close cooing at me. "Don't cry... I'm here... you're safe." He says between pants. Warmth is still spilling out between my legs and I feel confused about what's happened... but I feel so tired and will... I'll worry about it later. I sniffle softly and nod my head as I close my eyes and pass out feeling his warm body around my own and the fire... I'll deal with it all tomorrow.

#khornite #chaos space marine #space marine #non canon #non canon husbandry #warhammer 40k #inspired #mating press march #tw: dubious consent #tw: noncon

[d1xonss]

Desert Rose

Chapter 20 ~ Stay

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 2

✧ Word Count : 4.1k

In this chapter ~ After Rose makes her choice to part from the group, Daryl quickly finds out, leaving him in a state of unbelievable shock. But he doesn't let her get very far before he tracks her down through the trees, needing to find the right things to say to her to get her to stay.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* DARYL POV ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After the conversation I had with Rose, I needed to leave and cool off. When I didn't respond, it's not because I didn't want to, but because I didn't want to say something that I would regret later just because I was frustrated. That was the last thing she needed. She was hurting after what happened with Sophia, shit we all were. But my patience was thin right now and I didn't want to take that out on her.

I walked all the way out to the field and sat down on the grass, beginning to pull some pieces out of the ground and started to play with the tiny blades in my fingers. Sitting there silently with my mind running through everything that happened in the past few days. I found myself growing more and more frustrated every time I thought of a sacrifice one of us made for a girl who was already dead. We had all tried so hard, and for what? For it to end up shitty in the end like it always seemed to.

My mind then wandered back to Rose; like it always seemed to as well. Even though everything has been pretty terrible, she was always able to make me smile somehow. I thought back to the small moments we've shared recently and just the thought alone brought another small smile to my face. I had been trying to convince myself that I didn't have feelings for her, hell I've been trying to do that since the beginning. But I did, I liked her. I liked her a lot.

She made me feel different. I had never been with anyone before this, just a few one night stands that I didn't give a shit about. But I had never cared this much about a woman before, ever. The thought crossed my mind, being with Rose, but I didn't want to ruin what we already had. I had managed to build up some kind of friendship with someone that I actually trusted for the first time in my life, and the last thing I wanted was to make the wrong move. Or even worse; push her away somehow.

But my thoughts quickly stopped short once I heard someone call my name from just behind me.

"Daryl!" Maggie's voice called out.

I turned around right as she approached me, with a book held in her hands, "Do you know where Rose went? I wanted to give her this book since she hasn't been liking the one she's reading, but she took off too fast earlier." she finished with a laugh.

I dipped my head in a nod, "I think she's in my tent, I'll go tell her." I replied.

"Great, thanks." she said before turning back on her heel to walk towards the house.

I quickly got up to my feet and started to make my way back to the camp that I had set up a little farther away from everyone. To be completely honest, I don't know why I did it. But I guess a part of me understood Rose's need to be away, because I went and did the same thing without even realizing at the time.

As I finally made it up to the yellow tent, my hand went instinctively to just unzip the entrance, but I stopped myself and shook my head, clearing my throat so she could hear me.

"Rose?" I called out softly, warning her that I was about to come in.

I didn't hear anything, so I slowly unzipped the tent only to find that she wasn't in there. After scanning the small space, I was going to head out to look and see if she was at the house now, but something stopped me in my tracks. I noticed quickly that all of her stuff was missing and there was a note sitting next to my stuff with my name written across the front, a Cherokee rose placed conveniently right next to it. My heart began to sink to the pit of my stomach, but I still sat down and opened the note to see what it said, for all I knew she could be going out for a hunt. But in the back of my mind, I knew that wasn't it.

Daryl,

I wanted to leave you this note because I felt terrible not giving you at least somewhat of an explanation, so here it is. I left.

After what happened to Sophia, something just clicked. I realized how attached I became to this group, and that isn't a very good thing for me. I was on my own for a very long time before this and you know that, it's not easy for me to depend on people or get close to anyone in general but it happened. And I hate to admit it, but it scared me.

I care about all of you so much it hurts, but it's best for everyone if I leave. I don't want to watch anyone else die, I just can't do it, please understand that at least a little. I believe that most of you will make it, but in case I'm wrong...I don't just want to sit and watch like we all did today.

But I don't want you to think that it was easy for me to leave, because it wasn't. It was harder than I will probably ever admit out loud, and it was even harder to leave you. I care about you so much Daryl, you have no idea. But I have to do this, I can't stand back and watch what happened to Sophia potentially happen to you too.

Maybe this isn't goodbye, I'm actually hoping we cross paths again one day.

But until then, see you later Daryl Dixon.

-Love, Rose

I stared at the note with wide eyes, reading the words very carefully over and over again as if they would somehow change. She couldn't leave. In hindsight, maybe I could understand why she would want to but that isn't a good enough reason. Not now. She had turned into such a valuable member of this group and everyone here cares about her so much. I couldn't let her go. She had no idea how much I needed her to stay here.

So, without thinking, I grabbed my crossbow and rushed out of the tent to look for her. It was dark now so she would be harder to track, but I didn't care. I needed to find her. I had no fucking idea what I was going to say to her, but I had to try and convince her to stay somehow. She needed to understand that she didn't have to push people away anymore, at least not me. I would always be here for her, I wasn't planning on leaving her anytime soon, and I wanted her to know that. She needed to know that.

It didn't take very long before her footprints became more prominent in the mud, and I knew she was close by. I only took a few more steps in between the trees before I saw her walking a good distance in front of me, her backpack strapped tightly around her shoulders.

My foot then came down harshly as I purposefully stepped on a branch so she would hear me behind her. She whipped her head around as soon as the sound registered, with one of her knives raised, looking around on high alert. Her eyes scanned all over the trees, but she was unable to see me in the dark as I had apparently hidden myself well. I found myself huffing out a breath before finally stepping closer so she would be able to spot me clearly. Her eyes then landed on me immediately after that, her face dropping as she slowly lowered her knife and sighed to herself.

"What are you doing here?" she asked me.

I scoffed, "What am I doin here?" I asked, "I get a letter from ya, sayin yer just takin off and you didn't expect me to come after ya?"

She looked at me for a long moment, before uttering another word, "I have to leave Daryl, you know that."

"Nah, I don't know that. Make me understand, why do ya have to leave? Why now after everything?" I asked.

"I have to leave because I don't want to watch anyone else die. I can't." she frowned, tears now forming in her eyes.

"But that's a part of life, whether it's the end of the world or not, yer gonna lose people. Yer actually losin them all in one go right now, do ya realize that?" I asked.

She immediately shook her head, "No, that's not the same thing. At least I know you guys are alive."

"Well, what's the point if we're alive or not, if you ain't ever going to see us again anyways?" I asked with edge to my tone.

I didn't want to get upset with her. But she hurt me by leaving, thinking I was just going to shrug it off when in reality, she clearly didn't know a damn thing about how I felt. She just stood there for a few moments in silence, like this had turned into some kind of face off and her move was the next. A part of me was just waiting for her to run, but she didn't. She stayed perfectly still in the same place as her tearful eyes never broke away from mine.

But she eventually sighed to herself with a shake of her head, finding the right words, "I'm sorry I hurt you, I can tell just by the way you're looking at me. But you have to understand I-" her voice cracked, and the tears started to roll down her cheeks, "I can't watch you die too." she finished with a whisper, as if she was terrified to say it out loud.

My face softened almost on instinct hearing her broken voice, and I took a few steps closer to her. I wanted to reach out and wipe her tears away, hell take all her pain away, but I didn't know if that's what she wanted right now. But she didn't back away from me, which I only took as a good sign.

"I ain't gonna die. I don't plan to anytime soon." I assured her.

"Yeah, you don't plan to, but anything could happen. For all we know, anyone could die tomorrow." she stated.

I stared at her for a few seconds before muttering, "Don't."

"Don't what?" she whispered, tears running down her face.

"Don't go." I said softly.

She looked me in the eyes before hanging her head in defeat with a soft breath, and I could tell she was tired and emotionally exhausted after the day we all had. All I wanted was to reach out to her, hold her close as she cried but I obviously hesitated.

But then suddenly for once, I didn't think. I didn't let my mind linger on the "what ifs," I just acted fast before I talked myself out of it.

I gently grabbed her face in my hands so she would look at me, taking my thumbs and wiping away the fresh tears that spilled down her cheeks. She didn't pull away like I thought she would, but only leaned into my touch which made a warmth fill my chest.

"Please," I spoke quietly, "Please just...just stay."

She looked like she was having an inner debate with herself. I knew deep down I couldn't force her to stay if she really wanted to go, but I wanted to try. My mouth opened slightly to say something else, but the potential outcome made me close it again, fearful of the unknown. There was no going back if I were to say the things I truly wanted to say, but maybe those were the things she needed to hear. The things that would get her to stay.

"Stay...for me." I finally spoke.

Her eyes widened slightly, and I was preparing myself for her to pull away from me, but she never did. Instead, she only started to lean closer, which made my heart start beating rapidly, so fast that I thought she would be able to hear it. My mind was on autopilot as I found myself leaning closer too, her hands came up gently as she placed them on my forearms, while mine still held her face. My eyes flickered down at her lips and then back up at her eyes to make sure she was really okay with this, silently asking permission. To my surprise, she nodded her head ever so slightly, and I hesitated for only a moment, before finally closing the space between us.

It was soft and slow, but soon our lips started to move in sync as she leaned in further to kiss me back. I felt electricity flow through my entire body just at the feeling of her soft lips against my own, her hands only pulling me closer. I didn't want to stop, not ever, but I didn't want to push anything either, so I pulled away after a few seconds, resting my forehead on hers with a wide grin on my face.

"I'll stay." she whispered against my lips before kissing me again.

I smiled into the kiss, moving my hands down to her waist, pulling her impossibly closer to me. Her arms wrapped around my neck, starting to tug a little at the hair on the back of my head, the feeling practically ignited my body on fire. At first, I could've sworn that this was a dream, but once I felt her touch, I knew that it wasn't. It couldn't have been.

I had never felt these things for anyone before, but I'm just glad I was feeling these things for her. In the back of my mind, I knew I wouldn't feel this way about anyone else because how could someone be more perfect than her? It wasn't possible. And her saying just those two words to me, made me happier than I ever thought I could be.

She then broke the kiss after a few long moments, with another smile on her face, "I didn't think you felt the same way." she breathed.

I gazed down at her and only chuckled quietly, "Woman, you have no idea." I spoke, causing her to smile bashfully as I pecked her lips once more before saying, "C'mon, let's head back."

She nodded her head and pulled away from me, slowly grabbing a hold of my hand and intertwining our fingers together. As we walked back, we started talking like normal to fill the silence, teasing each other a little bit about whenever we would get nervous around each other before. And I was pretty sure I had never been happier.

When we started to see the house coming into view, I suddenly stopped as I saw the group standing around the house, pulling her to stop with me. She looked at me confused and I only hesitated for a moment, not fully sure how to say what I wanted to say. I didn't want to hurt her, but I didn't know if I was comfortable telling the others about our relationship yet. Wait, were we in a relationship? I had no idea, but all I knew is that I wanted to take things slow, to make sure I didn't mess anything up.

"What's wrong?" she asked me in a soft voice, brushing her thumb against the back of my hand.

I shook my head quickly, "Nothin, it's just..." I trailed off, not looking at her.

I then felt her give my hand a gentle squeeze, causing my eyes to look back down towards her, "Talk to me." she said.

I sighed, "I dunno how to say this. I don't wanna hurt ya or anythin."

She smiled sweetly, "Daryl, you're not going to hurt me, just say it."

I sighed again and nodded to myself,  "Okay, uh... I wanna take this slow, and um... I dunno if m' comfortable with showing off... whatever this is."

To my surprise she let out a small laugh, shaking her head lightly, "That's it? Daryl, it's okay. If I'm being honest, I don't really know if I want to show off well...whatever this is to the group either."

I let out a breath of relief and squeezed her hand. She then let go after a few seconds, "I'm just going to go put my backpack in the tent and I'll meet up with you, okay?"

I nodded my head and watched her smile at me once more, before turning around fully to walk off. My eyes lingered on her figure for longer than they needed to, but I couldn't seem to look away even if I tried. Though once she was finally emerged into the darkness, I began to slowly make my way over towards the others. I couldn't believe any of that just happened, wanting to convince myself that I was still dreaming somehow, but oh it very real.

As I got closer to the group, I saw most of them standing outside the house arguing with each other. I stood off in the back, not saying anything as I listened and watched everything go down. Apparently, the guys weren't back with Hershel yet and Lori had gone after them, crashing a car and almost getting herself killed in the process. I thought that was a stupid move but I still didn't say anything as my arms crossed over my chest.

"Hey, what's going on?" I heard Rose ask, her figure coming up to stand next to me.

I couldn't help but smile down at her when she walked over, watching as her brows furrowed more with confusion as she listened. I kept my eyes on her while she got filled in on everything that had happened since we were gone, before suddenly feeling someone staring right at me. My eyes glanced over to see Dale looking at me somewhat knowingly, with a smug expression. I just glared back at him, and he raised his hands in surrender, but still didn't wipe that stupid smile off his face.

"Look, I had to get you back here, okay?" I heard Shane snap at Lori, "I will go look for them, I will go after them. We just have to make sure you're okay, alright? Gotta make sure the baby's okay." he suddenly spilled.

My eyes got wide when he said that, looking over at Rose who didn't look the least bit surprised as she too heard the news. She made eye contact with me and just shrugged her shoulders, showing me that she already somehow knew about it.

"You're having a baby?" Carl asked her in shock.

Lori didn't say anything, utterly speechless, but Andrea quickly stepped in "Let's get you checked out, okay?" she said softly as she led the woman into the house.

Almost all of them made their way inside after them, clearly wanting to know more, but Maggie surprisingly hung back. Her eyes panning over to Rose as she looked over at the two of us expectantly, her eyes full of suspicion.

"Where have you been?" she asked worriedly.

"Oh, I was... just out hunting." Rose replied quickly.

"In the dark?" Maggie questioned.

She nodded slowly, "Yeah, I just needed some quiet." she said simply.

"Oh, okay so where's the meat?" Maggie asked as her eyebrows pulled together.

Rose stood there for a second dumbfounded, "I didn't catch anything, kind of a waste of time." she finally said.

Maggie glanced over to me and then back to Rose before I heard a small "mhm" from her. I felt my cheeks get hot as her gaze was intense on us, but she didn't say anything else as she turned to head into the house as well. Once she was finally out of earshot, I then looked over at Rose with my eyebrows raised, seeing a nervous smile make its way onto her face.

"You went huntin? That's the best ya got?" I asked playfully.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, "Whatever. Would you rather me say, "Oh sorry Maggie, I was trying to leave the group and then Daryl came, we made out, and then I decided to stay," is that better?" she asked with a hand on her hip.

I smirked at her, "Nah."

"Yeah, that's what I thought." she muttered before turning around and starting to make her way back towards the tent for the night. I had almost forgotten how late it got, but I soon followed close behind her, feeling the tiredness slowly taking over.

Once we both got inside, the two of us separated onto either side of the space, getting on top of the sleeping bags for the night. I laid down on my back with a groan, staring up at the ceiling momentarily before I subtly glanced over at her again. She too was laying down on her back, her eyelids falling more heavily with exhaustion, but she still could not have looked more beautiful.

My mind thought about moving over and wrapping my arm across her shoulders to sleep, but I made no effort to move. Apart of me was still fearful, even after the both of us confessing the feelings we felt for one another, that she would still move away to have her own space.

A quiet sigh left my lips as I debated back and forth in my head, but apparently it wasn't as quiet as I thought as her head turned towards me in question.

"What?" she whispered quietly in the dead of night.

I shook my head, "Nothin." I muttered as I glanced back up at the ceiling, avoiding her eyes, "Yer just...a little far away, that's all."

My eyes stayed firmly in place as I tried my best not to look back over at her, the fear of rejection still creeping up the back of my neck it felt like. But then I suddenly heard her let out a small laugh, before there was some shuffling like she was scooting closer to me. I then felt her presence only inches away from me now, her head falling on my chest gently as a smile was brought to my face at her actions.

"Is this better?" she asked sarcastically.

I hummed a response as I nodded, not that she would be able to see, before resting my chin on the top of her head. I held her tightly to me as I rested my eyes, content with the contact though I was nervous I wouldn't be. It was a nerve-racking thing for me to admit out loud, but I hadn't felt such a gentle touch before hers, and I was nervous I wouldn't be comfortable with it because of the past. Yet somehow with her, it was different. Almost as if I craved it.

But my eyes popped back open as a thought entered my mind, not wanting to breeze over the fact that Shane announced something worth talking about for more than five minutes.

"So, ya knew Lori was pregnant?" I asked out of the blue, glancing down at her now.

"Mhm." she hummed as she moved to look me in the eye, "Glenn told me the same time he told me about the walkers in the barn."

The second our eyes locked, I became very aware of how close our faces were now and I tried to swallow whatever nerves I still had. Not being used to something like this. Though she noticed quickly and had a smirk on her face before leaning up and placing a gentle kiss on my nose. I felt my heart leap in my chest, and she laughed quietly to herself at how red my face probably was.

I tried to recover quickly, clearing my throat a little before asking, "Well, do ya have any more secrets I should know bout?"

She thought about it for a second before a small smile returned to her face, "I like you. Have I told you that?"

Another familiar warmth filled my chest as I watched her eyes sparkle, "Yeah." I muttered, "I think you mighta mentioned it." I smirked before leaning in, placing another kiss on her lips.

She hummed in content, kissing me back for a few seconds before pulling away and resting her head on my chest again, closing her eyes. Before I knew it, her breathing had changed and I knew she was asleep within merely minutes. But I just sat there thinking, no longer as tired as I was before.

Today was a shitshow, but also a pretty great one too. I thought to myself, if I didn't have Rose with me right now, I didn't know how well I would be handling the loss of Sophia. But she somehow helped keep me keep my head attached to my shoulders, and that's exactly what I needed. Just her.

~ Thanks for reading!

(They’re finally together ahhhh)

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon the walking dead #daryl dixon x oc #twd daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #twd daryl #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead #the walking dead daryl #daryl dixon twd #norman reedus fanfiction #norman reedus #desert rose #daryl fanfiction #daryl twd #daryl dixon x original character #daryl dixon x female reader #twd fanfiction #twd #norman reedus x reader

[deadmilogecko]

Head-canons for Dragons Rising!Jay

- The merge dropped him into an ocean near the realm of madness which he stayed by for a month hoping that Nya would be able to find him via her connection to the sea. When he realized it wasn't working he started walking through the realm of madness to find her.

- He slowly lost his memories while wandering the realm of madness, he was keeping a diary for the first year but one day he went to get food and left it (and the rest of his stuff) in the shelter he was staying in and never came back because he forgot about that as well.

- By the time the administration found him he had no memories or tokens of his past except the Ying medal and his name (which he only knew because it was written on his gi by Edna)

- All of his stuff is buried in a pile in the land of lost things.

- For a time there was a teen in the administration who he had a father daughter relationship with but one day she went to retrieve an artifact with her partner and neither returned. Jay didn't get attached to anyone after that

- He was originally in charge of the destruction of powerful objects but asked to move to realm reassignment when he realized that there was a possibility his Yang could come through and recognize him.

- In his dreams he often finds himself floating in the middle of the ocean accompanied by someone humming but his dreams always end with the peace breaking and him drowning.

- He's mistakenly called one of the people who work in damage control 'Cole' multiple times and he doesn't know why.

- When he first discovered he could control lightning he still has no knowledge of other elemental master and saw himself as an anomaly which is why he has hidden it from the rest of the administration.

- Because he hasn't used his element in years (except in short, accidental zaps) he can't properly control and has basically been reverted back to before he reached his true potential in terms of control and knowledge, if he wanted to he would be able to kill someone.

- He hates having to hurt people in order to arrest them to the point that it sometimes makes him sick.

- He hates mirrors.

- More recently, after his encounter with the spirit orb, he has been having dreams of people wearing different colored gi's, specifically a woman who he thinks is the most beautiful person he's ever seen.

- He has a goldfish named Fritz

#lego ninjago #ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #dragons rising #jay ninjago #jay lego ninjago #jay dragons rising #ninjago dragons rising spoilers #dragons rising season 2 #nya ninjago #kai ninjago #lloyd ninjago #cole ninjago #zane ninjago #pixal ninjago #the administration ninjago #headcanon #ninjago headcanons

[candeathbereal]

Astro observations #11

-The funny thing about looks is that astrology has the funniest ways of expressing itself that reading something like "leo risings have great hair" or "saturn dominant people have great bone structure", and you can go along with it. One day I asked my boyfriend what feature of mine stood out the most and I was expecting something like my eyes since that is usually said for neptune dominants. Then he said something like "Your hair and face shape" and I sat back thinking about it. Like hair, sure I do have a leo rising so I expected that but face shape??? Did the part of my teenage years where I focused on working out my face so I could have a great jawline actually work out in my favor....yes yes it did. Now I have a great jawline that it can coexist with my hair as a outstanding feature. I make a big show of this because I started looking more and more into astrology and appearance patterns and you know what I found? Nothing becuase I am shitty at researching and connecting things. I know it's not ideal all things considering I do run a astrology focused blog but shit happens. I would love to hear you guy's thoughts and opinons on astrology being connected with appearance and the patterns of all that. Like I can see certain things but I fail at finding the patterns myself tbh.

-Moving on, my pluto trines my sun and my ascendant and my sun trines my ascendant. My venus also trines my ascendant while my jupiter sextiles it. And honestly it's interesting to hear people's first impressions of me and I give off conflicting impressions. I seem hardworking yet not to the point of being an asshole about shit. In high school I had people think I smoked but I have never done any drugs but I give off a certain vibe. I also think it's cause smoking isn't considered "acceptable" ,for a lack of better words, so I have always spent my time around people who do smoke because I never truly felt "normal" or "acceptable" when I was younger especially. To a certain degree I understand why I tend to vibe with what's considered outside of the norm but I don't exactly indulge into it myself. My seventh house is in aquarius, my uranus and lilith is in my seventh house, plus my seventh house lord is in either my tenth or my seventh house (I am still unsure about aquarius because it is said to rule both uranus and saturn). So naturally what's considered "outcast" or "stigmatized" hasn't always escaped my interest. Yet I don't find serial killers and all that, that interesting...I still learn about it because I feel a pull to understand why. Like why does this confuse people so much? You can find a reason for murder and most people if not everyone seems to be able to want to kill somebody. Of course this is a very rooted in morality so just know serial killers that kill people out of pure pleasure disgust me. Anyways I want to assume it's beyond the mindset of murderers that interest people so if anyone wants to discuss it with me further my inbox is open. Or anything else you guy's would wanna talk about. I feel like I'm missing something in this world which is knowledge. I live through pure curiosity as opposed to spite or hope. There is not a defined goal like spite but there is still somewhat a goal in curiosity. It's to know more but it doesn't always have to be positive either. It is the 'neutral' between many reasons to live but it works for me.

Alright enough of my random babble, I hope this made sense to anyone. Afterall I am posting this to be shared with others because if I wanted to only have this be for me it wouldn't be so public. Or even written down to be honest.

#astrology #astro #astrology observations #astro observations #astro posts #appearance astrology #saturn dominance #leo rising

[nightfallgame]

SHORT — Kyou Tsugunaga (01)

Originally Written: 07-15-20

Prompt: Look, just let me give Kyou a spa-day, just pamper him to death and force him to have a relaxing time. I have some more angsty ideas for later, but let's have some fluff for now.

Apparently, you're going to force him to relax. 

At least, that's what seems to be happening. 

Kyou knows that his health is a problem. He's been slowly getting sicker for the past five years while he's been working with Oracle, and in all honesty, he knows he's headed down a bad path. But there's no reason for you to worry about him so much. He's not that important. You aren't going to be able to solve anything, so why bother trying?

Today's his day off. As in, the day that Kyou's pretty sure you got for him via paying off one of his bosses. It's the first day off he's had in longer than he can remember. If he'd been alone, Kyou would have spent it face-down in his bed, sleeping like the dead. 

Instead, you have him over at your apartment— far nicer than his own. You're also making him take a bath, which apparently entails you having to be in the room with him. 

It's awkward enough to be unclothed in front of you. Even though the soapy water (thanks to your lavender-scented bubble bath) hides anything too embarrassing, Kyou knows that you can see just how skinny he's getting and how pale. You can see how the line of his collarbone is as sharp as a blade, how his arms are stick-thin, how every one of his vertebrae stands out in uneven lumps protruding from his skin. 

"Is it okay if I wash your hair?" Your voice jolts Kyou out of his pessimistic spiraling. 

"If you want to," he sighs. It's not that he doesn't want you to, not exactly. It's more like the idea of you getting any closer is kind of embarrassing. 

Kyou had thought that he'd outgrown the feeling of shame by now thanks to his years of crushing his pride to scrape by at work, but apparently not. When it comes to you, he always feels like he should be better than he is. 

Someone like him doesn't make a very good boyfriend. 

The next thing Kyou feels is a hand on his shoulder. 

"Quit thinking sad things. I can tell by your face that you're being all down on yourself." Because you're too kind for anyone's good, you lean in and kiss Kyou's cheek. 

Kyou feels himself flush. On your instruction, he turns in the bathtub so that his back is facing you. This requires tucking his legs up to his chest, which... makes him feel weirdly small. Kyou buries his face against his knees. He's embarrassed in a way that's hard to process. The idea of you washing his hair, of that much contact, is intimidating. 

But within the moment, your hands are in his wet hair, pulling it back and out of his face. The feeling of your fingers brushing against his neck makes Kyou shiver. With a squirt of shampoo into your palm, you rub your hands together, then bring them to Kyou's hair. First, all you do is rub it in. Kyou's hair goes down to his shoulder blades by now. He hasn't had it cut in a while, so there's plenty for you to work with. 

By the time you start massaging his scalp, Kyou is already starting to feel dizzy— and not from the heat. His body heaves out a dry little cough. It's the kind that hurts. 

With a worried hum, you drag your fingertips along the sides of Kyou's head, right behind his ears. It feels so good that Kyou can't help but sigh. He's glad he's not facing you right now. He's glad that you can't see his face. Slowly, his eyes flutter closed. 

"Alright, gonna rinse it out."

What gets Kyou's attention this time is you reaching up for the showerhead. Rinsing his hair out is a warm, spine-tingling process that involves a lot more touching. 

Kyou thinks that you might be spending a little more time on it than is necessary. 

When you're done, Kyou feels a lot like he's melting. His breathing is still catching a little bit, like usual, but the heat and steam are doing him some good. He feels a little bit less sick than usual... but at the same time, overwhelmed by how much touching you're doing. 

"Can I wash your face next? If that's okay?" Your smile is way too bright. 

"...why do you want to?" Kyou turns to face you. He knows his voice sounds dead. 

"Well... I wanted today to be kind of a spa day for you. As best as I can do. I got the lavender-scented stuff just for you, I've planned this and a bunch of other things, and... I just want to see you relax a bit." You explain it so easily, as if you're not just wasting your time. Kyou digs his nails into his palm. He's too tired to say no. 

"Do what you want. If you want to spoil me so much... fine." It's stupid. Getting attached is foolish. You'll be done with a pawn like him in no time, moved on to someone better. But... for now, Kyou just wants to feel your hands on him a little bit more.

Your expression is so happy that it almost hurts to look at. 

"Great! When you get out of the bath, I have this aromatherapy stress-relief lotion that I got for you, and I can brush your hair out when it dries. I have face cream too, to help with the dark circles, and once we've done all that, I got a mystery movie for us to watch— and plenty of snacks!" You sound so excited. Just listening to you is making Kyou feel sort of overwhelmed. People aren't supposed to be this nice to him. It's not normal.

But the next thing Kyou knows, you're tipping his head up to face you with two fingers under his chin. You have a washcloth with a little dribble of mint-scented face-cleaner on it, and... having you look him in the eyes like this is making it hard to breathe. 

For reasons that aren't just because of his lungs.

#Kyou Tsugunaga #Oracle Enterprises #Short #Reader

[morallyinept]

PART 2

Thank you so much to everyone's positive response on this! 🥰 I'm so glad you all thought it was a good idea, and one that you want to get on board with. So many of you too, which is great! I've had to split it in two parts as there was so many of you!

Marcus and I are stoked! 🤗

Below, you'll find the pairings...

Now, the pairings have been done as randomly as possible. I tried to pair with things you might have in common initially, but some profiles are empty or don't have much to give away, so in the end all names were put into a hat and I pulled pairs, so it's as unbiased as possible.

☝🏻This isn't about popularity or numbers, this is about making a new friend in the fandom. If you've been paired with someone you're already speaking with/getting to know, that's great! Continue that friendship.

If you happen to be paired with someone who you've attempted to get to know before and it hasn't panned out so well, why not give it another try?

I can't re-pair you, I'm afraid as we had even numbers, so I apologise in advance if you end up with someone who you haven't gotten on well with before. (Hopefully, that's not the case.) But you are always free to reach out to me - I love making new friends too!

And please bear in mind, I've tried my best - I'm not responsible for what you guys do and how you interact with one another. Please ensure you're respectful and kind and treat others how you would want to be treated.

And if you need some pointers on starting the conversation, you could try these:

Remember why we're here - Pedro! Have a chat about your favourite roles he's played, or films. Which character of his is your favourite and why? When did you first discover him? Why do you like being a fan of his?

Are you a writer/reader/both? Perhaps you can talk about your favourite fics you've written/read? Again, why did you like them? Same goes if you're an artist or creator of any kind.

Saying a simple hello, how are you? Can lead onto great things. Don't be afraid to say hello and strike up a conversation.

You got any pointers, Marcus?

I mean sure, yeah. That's a great question... personally yes, I like butter with my popcorn. 🍿 Looks like we have something in common, bud!

It's up to you about how much you want to give away about yourself. Stick to your boundaries. Natural friendship will progress how it should - naturally. And those boundaries will become lowered in time. Don't force it, and please, be respectful of one another's boundaries.

If it fizzles out after a few messages exchanged, that's okay. Please don't take it personally. We all have lives off of Tumblr, and it might take some people longer to reply, or they may be really shy. Try not to bombard them with messages.

☝🏻Remember you will only get out of this what you are willing to put in. Please be kind and respectful to one another.

Okay, Marcus, let's get to the pairings...

PAIRINGS:

Anyone that re-blogged or commented on the original post has been included, even if you signal boosted, unless you specifically stated you didn't want to participate. Hopefully I've not missed anyone. Some of you I am not able to tag so I have linked to your profile for your friend to find you. Please reach out to them when you're ready:

@pedroshotwifey & @vabeachazn

@survivingandenduring & @elvinaa

@bluestar22x & @pedgito

@suzdin & @beskarandblasters

@ohforficsake & @hyzer34

@bbiophiliaa & @papipascaaaal

@tuquoquebrute & @pastelnap

@grace46 & @pedropascal-whore

@i-own-loki & @whiskeynwriting

@darkheartgatita & @covetyou

@codryshrekps & @sweetercalypso

@studioghibelli & @thatredheadwriter

@the-blind-assassin-12 & @rose-with-few-thorns

@kissedbydragonfire & @planet-marz1

@oursisastrangefate & @perfectly-imperfect-me23

@chibimosa & @flightlessangelwings

Good luck and have fun getting to know one another! Marcus and I would love to hear from you guys about your new friendships too, so please feel free to get in contact and let us know how it's going! 🖤

#pike's pick and mix #pedro pascal #marcus pike #making friends

[next-autopsy]

A/N: Well, hi there! Okay so Joe needs to apologise asap! This is his attempt I guess… idk what’s happening anymore man

Based on the actors portrayal/hbo show and written with no disrespect to the real life veterans. Also all images found on Pinterest.

TW: I don’t think there are any…

Tags: @malarkgirlypop, @panzershrike-pretz

Made of Glass

Chapter nineteen: An Itchy, Army Issued Blanket 

Their barracks were dark and quiet when the ladies returned. Charlotte was all but dragged to her bed by Connie and Betty, who then immediately started getting ready to pass out on their own cots.

Lucy and Blythe were inseparable, snuggling together on a bed too small for the two of them, by now all the women had noticed the lovey dovey behaviour between them. No one said anything, no one minded. 

Bernadette had spent the entire cab ride sniffling and wiping at her face where stray tears fell. No one had mentioned what had happened with Liebgott, though all of them witnessed it, except Charlotte who was in a world of her own and wouldn’t remember anything from this night. 

She changed her clothes and brushed out her hair, too tired to walk to the bathroom and finish her nighttime ritual. Before Birdie could climb under the covers of her awaiting bed, Frankie made eye contact with her. She shook her half empty pack of smokes at the mousy haired girl and flicked her head toward the door, a silent invitation. 

Bernadette sighed and joined the Italian woman outside. She might feel better if she spoke about what happened. She hadn’t quite figured out why his words got to her so badly, perhaps talking to Francesca could help. They sat on the wooden steps as they usually did. Rossi lit a cigarette and passed it to her friend, then lit her own. 

Francesca wouldn’t push, of course she wanted to know exactly what was said and what tone was used, but she wanted to avoid more tears if possible. Seeing Birdie quietly crying and then trying to pretend everything was okay, upset her more than she cared to admit. 

“I don’t know why I cried.” Her words were void of emotion. Frankie only hummed in response, waiting for her to share what was on her mind. 

“He’s always been kind of mean. I thought he actually hated me…. But then something changed.” Frankie was more than curious, she thought back to the uncomfortable night she watched from the shadows. Rossi liked people watching, she picked up on hidden feelings or underlying vibes easily. Whatever had or hadn't happened between Birdie and Liebgott perplexed her. And apparently, she wasn’t the only one.

“Joe was really… I-I thought maybe, just maybe we could've been friends.” 

“But?” Francesca prompted, eager to hear more of this odd dynamic. 

“But, he thinks I'm the worst.” The words cracked as the downcast woman spoke them, her eyes focused on the floor, her shoulders sagged in defeat, even her bottom lip protruded in a pout. 

“I’m sure that's not true…” The older woman consoled. Bernadette was sweet and witty and an oddly likeable person. Francesca had specifically tried not to make friends with anyone but Birdie managed to wiggle her way into her heart and now she couldn’t imagine not being friends with the little firecracker. 

“No, it is. The words he used were: Arrogant, conceited bitch.” She didn’t even have one second to feel sorry for herself as Frankie instantly counter argued. 

“Ha. You are the least arrogant, conceited person I've ever met. And you're definitely not a bitch.” 

“Not according to him.” Now she was sulking, pouting and feeling sorry for herself. The attitude change was phenomenal. From Francesca’s perspective, Birdie had always been confident. Not overly but enough to tough it out with her self righteous Captain. 

“Why do you care what he thinks of you?” Maybe Rossi would have to give the poor girl some hints, she obviously hasn't picked up on her own feelings for the man who bullied her. It would explain her need for his approval and why his comments affected her the way they did. 

“I-” She couldn’t answer, she didn’t know how. Why did she care so much about what Joseph Liebgott thought of her?  “Because, I- I don’t know.”

“I think I do.” She would have to tell the southern girl, it was her duty as best friend. She couldn’t let her go on like this, it was down right embarrassing. 

“Enlighten me.” 

“You like him.” The George company woman spoke plainly, no point sugarcoating it. 

“What? No, you're way off, he’s so- But he’s- He is a pigheaded jerk. I-I don't like him.” Birdie spluttered, stumbling over her words and giving Frankie an incredulous look. 

“Are you trying to convince me, or yourself? Either way, I don't think it's working.” She paused to let the words sink in, “Come on, you need some sleep.” 

————————

Letting go of Birdie’s arm and watching her walk out the door, surrounded by her girlfriends, caused a pang in Joe’s chest. 

He was at fault and he knew it. Joe didn’t mean the harsh words and he shouldn’t have said those things about her, whether she was listening or not. And now, he sat at the bar, gulping down whatever alcohol came his way. 

“Liebgott?” No answer, he preferred to mope in peace. But Tipper wouldn’t sit by and watch his friend beat himself up over a girl, especially because he had money on the two getting together before they were deployed.

“She’ll come round.” Ed wasn’t really sure what else he could say to soothe the situation. But he had noticed the girl in question harboured feelings for his brooding friend, and he definitely knew Joe felt some type of way about Birdie. 

The issue was getting them to recognise their own fondness of each other and stop messing up. It was like the pair were stuck in blatant denial, not even considering the reason why they were always so drawn to one another, constantly needing to make comments to gain the others attention. To Ed it was transparent, which is why he was so confident about the running bet in Easy company, Joe and Birdie; Will they? Won’t they? 

“I think she hates me now.” 

“What? She didn’t before?” Tip was trying to lighten the mood, but Joe wasn’t having it. He continued to feel sorry for himself, drinking yet another pale yellow beer.

“No… I don't know- she was, we were... It doesn’t matter now.” The alcohol was affecting him, he couldn’t think straight and his words came out as incoherent mumble.

“You should apologise.” 

“You think I don't know that?” Joe’s snark was intact regardless of how much he drank. 

“Hey, I’m just saying.” Ed paused, “If you made a meaningful gesture… something only known between you two…” He trailed off, letting Joe put the rest of the thought together in his mind. 

“Yeah? Like what? In case you didn’t notice, we don't exactly have the best track record.” Liebgott was mad, not at his friend, just in general or at himself. His patience with Tipper’s chit chat was running thin. 

“Well, what do you have?” 

—------------------

While weekend passes were more common now than back in Toccoa, they were still highly sought after. Joe had a plan to smooth over the mishap with Bernadette and it meant spending a precious pass at the library reading, instead of getting shitfaced at a bar. 

He prayed it would work, that Bernadette would forgive him and let his unkind words fade away. Joe had already decided on a place and time and now he needed to convince one of her friends to bring her to the spot. She probably wouldn’t meet him there if he asked, so he’d have to be sneaky. 

Approaching Francesca Rossi was intimidating. She had a reputation of not taking shit from anyone and Joe had hurt seemingly her only friend. Plus, Birdie most likely told the Italian woman about his colossal fuck up, so he doubted she would be on his side. 

“What do you want?” Her eyes narrowed at the man walking toward her.

“I was hoping you would help me with something.” Joe knew he had to be straightforward with the George company woman, put his cards on the table and hope for the best.

“Why?” She hadn’t stopped glaring.

“Look, I’ll be honest. I fucked up, with Birdie. I said some things I’d rather not repeat… And I’m just trying to apologise.” 

“What do you need?” He hadn’t expected it to be that easy, so he stood still for a moment processing, before he explained his plan to her. It felt dumb to say it out loud, but when Rossi gave him a nod and a half smile, promising to do her part, he thought: maybe he was doing the right thing.

“One thing before you go…” Francesca called out to him as he turned to leave, he stopped and looked at the woman over her shoulder.

“Yeah?” 

“You hurt her again…. I will kill you.” There was no hint of a joke in her tone, no curve of her lips. She meant it and she wanted him to know she would follow through. Birdie meant alot to her, she didn’t have many women friends so she would hold onto the southerner for the rest of her life, kill for her, die for her if necessary. 

“I know you will.” 

“Good.”

—----------------

The night came. Joe was nervous. He told himself it was due to all the facts he had to memorise and his anxiety was about messing up in front of an expert. 

Something in the back of his head said her name and the idea of his nerves coming from his need to impress this specific woman ran through his brain. Maybe it was a little bit about Bernadette, but he couldn’t dwell on it too much. He had places to be and apologies to set up. 

—--------------------

Francesca was good at keeping secrets and hiding things. So when the time came, Birdie suspected nothing. Frankie told her friend she needed her help with something and led her outside and into the dark with no explanation. Birdie didn’t question it, Francesca wouldn’t steer her wrong, she trusted the woman with everything she had.

After a few minutes of walking, the two women came upon a clearing with an olive green, Army issued blanket laid down upon the grass. A gas lantern lit up the immediate area.

Just as Bernadette began to wonder what was going on, Liebgott came into view, stepping into the light that shone from the source on the floor. Birdie’s jaw hung, she looked between the man and her friend who had brought her here, feeling somewhat betrayed. 

“Frankie? What the hell?” Were the words she finally managed to get out. 

“You got two options, Birdie. Stay here and hear him out… or we walk away. I’ll punch him in the throat too, if you want.” All three of them considered the words carefully. 

“Fair.” Joe shrugged, knowing he deserved it. 

Francesca eyed the younger woman as she pondered her options. She knew the outcome, it was plain to see which one Birdie would go for, the look on her face said it all.

She was curious, Joe intrigued her beyond words and even though he had said some things that hurt Birdie, she still craved his attention, to be around him, to listen to whatever he was about to say. 

Bernadette didn’t have to say it, she just gave Frankie a look and the black hair woman was on her way, not before shooting Liebgott a stern glare. 

“I didn’t mean it.” Joe broke the silence that was growing between the two. 

“But you still said it.” She couldn’t let him get away that easy. 

“I know… I shouldn’t’ve. I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” 

“Well, don’t let me stop you.” Birdie had already decided she’d forgive him but she wanted to drag it out, see him sweat. She knew first hand how scary Frankie could be, the fact that he had talked her into this project of his was apology enough in her books. 

“I am so sorry, Birdie.” His words were genuine, he truly was sorry. He would have said it a hundred more times if she wanted him too. His pride aside, he wanted her to know it. Talking about her like that was not something that would be repeated. Hurting her had hurt him, maybe Tipper was right, maybe his feelings for her ran deeper than he thought. 

He wanted to be her friend of course, she was always so smiley and happy, it was easy to get along with her. Joe enjoyed his time around her, even before, when all the words they said to each other were dipped in sarcasm. He actually enjoyed the witty comebacks she came up with, he liked that she wouldn’t let anyone walk over her. She always had something to say and he found himself wanting to listen more and more as time went on. 

“What’s that for?” Birdie nodded her head to the blanket, trying to steer away from acknowledging the apology. 

“Huh? Oh..” Lieb looked behind him, “Come here, sit. I want to show you something.” He sat and patted the empty space next to him. Birdie followed instruction and lowered herself onto the itchy blanket. 

Joe leaned back, propping himself up with one arm and pointing skyward with the other. Birdie copied his stance, turning her chin up and watching where he pointed to. 

“See that? That’s the Little Dipper-“ Birdie’s attention was pulled from the stars above them and to the guy casually dropping constellation names. 

“Wait… it actually is… how did you know that?” She imagined Joe, head in a book, studying star clusters so he would have something to talk to her about and it made her stomach flip. Had he really done something like that for her? She was vaguely aware that he didn’t care for studying or reading novels, so if he had done that it was solely for her benefit. 

Lieb let his arm drop, turning his head to face her. The eye contact made Birdie want to twirl a strand of hair with her fingers and giggle like a schoolgirl- Damn, maybe Francesca had been right about her liking Joseph Liebgott. 

“Magic.” His face was stoic and serious as he whispered the word to her, like it was a secret. Then, his infamous smirk broke onto his face and Bernadette couldn’t help but grin back at him, the butterflies in her tummy were going crazy, but she tried to play it cool. 

“Ah okay. I see: This is your apology? Impressing me with your new found knowledge of the stars?” Said with feigned disinterest. Joe hadn’t stopped watching her, her mannerisms were endearing. Yes, he definitely wanted to be friends with this girl. 

“It depends.” He broke eye contact, attempting to give his heart a moment to catch up. 

“On what?” The country woman had completely forgotten about the twinkly lights above them, something else was far more interesting at this moment. 

“Is it impressing you?” 

It most definitely was. Joe pointed out several well known constellations and even gave a couple backstories. Birdie already knew everything he was telling her but she humoured him and listened with interest at the tales he told her. 

At one point the two lay down for a better view of the starry black sky. Their arms brushed up against one another and neither attempted to move away. They ignored the shared touch, pretending it wasn’t happening but the pair could feel exactly where their bodies met and they revealed in the warmth. 

A/N: does his apology suffice? I think stargazing is going to be a Birdie/Lieb thing from now on.

I love hearing from you guys, so please feel free to comment or dm me!

~ next-autopsy ~

Chapter twenty

#band of brothers #easy company #hbo war #joe liebgott #made of glass #band of brothers fanfic #fem oc #oc #next autopsy #made of glass chapter nineteen #ed tipper

[wwenhlimagines]

Hi can I have prompt

#9 with Hook, when you get time!!!

I honestly have no idea how long this has been in my drafts with just a couple paragraphs written, but here we go! Sorry this took forever, but I'm assuming this is the prompt you are asking for:

"Your body is 70 percent water… and I’m thirsty."

Warning: implied smut

Hook is not typically clingy or needy, but lately, he has been touching my back or thigh or holding my hand almost constantly. I am not used to him showing PDA backstage, but he seems to be getting bolder, wrapping an arm around my waist and kissing my forehead whenever he wants. I couldn't tell what had changed until I saw him tense up whenever Wardlow showed up.

--- A few months earlier ---

Initially, Hook and I were just friends as we got our careers started, and during that time, we talked about who we find attractive in the company. He told me Skye Blue was attractive, but obviously, the bro code took her out of the running. I told him Wardlow would make me a little weak in the knees, and Hook kinda rolled his eyes at that.

"Literally, every girl in the world finds him attractive. I haven't met anyone who hasn't said they had at least a small crush on him."

I smirk as I look over at him and shake my head before giggling a little bit.

"Do you think we don't see every guy staring at Skye's ass whenever she is in her ring gear? It's like a magnet to you all, but I mean, I can't really blame you."

Hook gulped as he fidgeted with his bag of chips and offered you some.

--- Current day ---

I smirked to myself as I felt strong arms pulling me back against a solid torso. I looked up at Hook, and he kissed my forehead as we watched the matches from backstage. Wardlow walks by to go warm up, and I decide to test my theory.

"Hey, Wardlow, how are you feeling about your match with Joe?"

Wardlow turns around and smirks as Hook stands a bit taller behind me. I roll my eyes as he slips his hand into my hoodie front pocket and pulls me into me.

"I'm feeling pretty good. I'm ready to get my title back, that's for sure. How are you feeling about fighting Skye next week?"

"Skye and I are pretty good friends, so we are working hard to make sure we put on a good match for Dynamite. Hopefully, this hunk of man meat behind me will be ringside and cheer me on. Right, babe?"

I look up and see Hook smirking down at me. He nods and kisses the top of my head.

"Of course, I'm always happy to be there to cheer you on, sweetheart. Just like you are to me."

I nod and turn back to Wardlow, who is trying to keep his smirk hidden under his hand, watching Hook get jealous and protective.

"Well, you two love birds enjoy the rest of the show and I'll see you next week!"

I smile and wave goodbye to him as I feel Hook's arms loosen slightly around me. I take the chance to slip out of his grasp and go find a snack in catering. Skye is sitting down eating, and as I turn around to see Dante and Hook talking, I decide to sit down with her.

"Skye, we have to make sure our match is top notch next week. I know we will kill it, but I think I have a plan to get Hook to confess to his jealousy."

Skye leans in closer as I tell her my idea, and she laughs as I tell her what just happened with Wardlow.

"Oh, Hook, such a sweet, jealous little puppy dog."

We talk for a bit longer before parting ways and finishing up the show as I plot against my boyfriend.

--- Next Week ---

I'm backstage warming up for my match against Skye when I see Wardlow walking by and deciding to ask him about his ring gear. He seemed a little confused, but I just whispered, "Just go with it," and he nodded before telling me about the velvet fabric and why he likes it. Hook came around the corner and saw you looking at Wardlow's phone as he showed you pictures of his different gear color ways.

"Hey, baby girl. Do you want my help stretching out?"

I smirk up at Wardlow and nod to him before responding.

"Of course, babe. Wardlow was just showing me where he finds his velvet material for his gear."

Wardlow puts his phone back in his pocket before waving and telling me good luck.

I roll my head around and start to stretch before I feel Hook start massaging my shoulders. I lightly moan as my head falls back against his chest. He chuckles softly as his hands travel down my back. I stretched for a few minutes before laying on my back and focusing on my legs. Hook kneels down and helps stretch my hamstrings as he teasingly rubs his hips against mine lightly.

"You better stop that. I'm not wearing a thong or anything under my tights, and I don't want to look like I've pissed myself."

Hook laughs as he switches my legs and leans forward. "Well, then, you need to stop being so sexy in your gear."

After getting fully warmed up, I grab Hook's hand, and we walk backstage to get ready to go out. Skye is walking out to her music, and I am trying to get into character as Hook slaps my ass before we walk out. I roll my eyes at him and walk out to my music before walking around the ring and looking around at the crowd.

Hook stands ringside nonchalantly, watching as Skye and I lock up in the center of the ring. We hit a few of our signature moves before Skye goes to bounce off the rope as I rear back and hit her with a lariat like Wardlow does. Skye sells it as I turn to look at Hook. His eyes have narrowed at me, and I smirk before going for the Redrum and making Skye tap out.

The ref raises my hand, and Hook grabs my other hand to help me celebrate. Once the ref lets go of my hand, I pull Hook in for a passion filled kiss, and he happily obliges before helping me out of the ring. I jokingly jump on his back, and he quickly catches me before giving me a piggyback ride all the way through the tunnel. He sets me back on the ground before pushing me up against the wall.

"That was not the match plan you told me about. Where did the lariat come from?"

I shrugged and let my fingers start to trace his arms.

"I've been getting tips for it from Wardlow, so I tried it out."

Hook involuntarily let out a low growl at the other man's name. I placed my hands on his chest, trying to calm him down.

"Down boy, it's no big deal. It's not like it ever finishes the job, unlike someone else's move..."

Hook sighs and tries to hide the smile peeking out.

"That was quite the surprise to see you do the Redrum. I'm pretty impressed with it."

I slid my hands up to cup his jawline as I leaned into closer, lightly biting my lip.

"Lariat might look good from afar, but goddamn that Redrum always makes me finish... the match that is..."

Hook captures my lips in a kiss as he presses his body into mine and hikes one of my legs up and around his waist. He lightly rubs his hips against mine as we both start to get more needy by the second.

"Your body is 70 percent water… and I’m thirsty, babygirl. Let's go back to the hotel where I'm going to make you finish over and over again."

He pinches my ass making me wiggle out of his arms and giggle as I go get my stuff out of the locker room and prepare to leave. Hook goes to catering to get some snacks that he knows we will need between rounds later. Wardlow walks up to him and pats him on the back.

"Your woman has a mad lariat. She did amazing out there tonight."

Hook nods and grabs a couple extra water bottles.

"That she does, but she also knows how to use the best finisher."

Wardlow smirks and chuckles lowly before gently turning Hook to look at him.

"That girl is crazy about you. She talked nonstop about you when I was helping her with training. Trust me, you have nothing to worry about with her. Now, get some good fuel because I'm sure you two are going to have a long night."

Hook laughs and bro handshakes with Wardlow before placing all the snacks in his backpack. He starts walking back only to find me waiting for him in the hallway, playing on my phone. He interlocks our fingers, and we walk out to the rental car, ready for a really fun night.

Tags: @thesupreme316 @gethooked @730hook @baybay-boom @hookedonhook @louisianalady @hooks-martin @imswitchbabemox @plentyoffandoms @daddyslittlevillain @legit9thlunaticwarrior @lclb13 @hooksimp

#aew imagine #aew hook #aew smut #aew hook fic #aew hook imagine #aew hook smut #hook aew

[eddiemunsonssoulmate]

Hi wonderful writer and human being... it feels so weird to request anything from you, I usually just watch in awe.

Anyway, could you maybe do an Eddie x reader where they are a couple and the reader is in a really dark place mentally trying to hide it from anyone, but she eventually starts missing school and appointments and dates and Eddie gets worried and when he finds out she hasn't been even leaving bed he comforts her in a really soft and understanding way?

I know it might be a lot, feel free not to do this, it's just something I'd really like and kinda need to see written so I had to try and ask <3

Don't worry, I'm the right person when it comes to writing the more heavy stuff! This goes out to you and everyone else having a hard time while fighting their own demons. I'm always here to listen and so is Eddie. Enjoy and feel better soon <3

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Words: 2.6k

Warnings: Deals with depression

Also on: AO3

“I’m fine.”

“Not today.”

“I’m busy.”

“Not in the mood.”

“Another time, okay?”

He groaned when he thought about the conversation you had with him the last couple of weeks. Shallow. Empty. Like you weren’t really there at all.

For two days, you haven’t even been at school. He could deal with one day; everyone is sick occasionally.

Two days was already pulling on his heartstrings, especially because you’ve barely spent any time together lately.

It was four days in total with the weekend. Almost a week and it was killing him.

Eddie knew you were pushing him away; he just didn’t know why. His mind was going wild, trying to think of any possibility and only coming up with the worst-case scenarios.

He ate his food deep in thought, not even listening to his friends. Four days without a sight of you, three weeks without you even being really there. He hadn’t noticed at first, but it had dawned on him later when you had started to act…weird.

“Eddie? Hello?” Dustin suddenly said and got him out of his head. “What about Hellfire tonight?”

“Canceled.” He huffed out and the table looked at him in shock.

“What? You never cancel it!” Gareth protested, only to earn a death glare from the long-haired man.

“I have important things to handle,” he hissed only to then throw food at Mike. “Wheeler. Y/N is your sister’s best friend, did she hear anything from her?” Eddie looked at the younger boy with narrowed eyes, but Mike shook his head.

“Nancy only said she’s worried about her because she’s canceling all the plans they made,” Mike answered with a shrug and Eddie chewed on the inside of his cheek.

If it was for Eddie, he’d leave right now to go and check up on you, but he also knew you’d kill him if he missed any more classes.

The thought made him smile briefly, you were always insisting he didn’t miss a single one so he could get his diploma. Now it was hard to even listen to the teachers because the way you acted had him all worried.

“So, she’s the important thing you need to handle?” Dustin asked and Eddie nodded at him.

“Something’s wrong and I’ll find out after school,” he admitted, and the rest of the desk were silent for a moment before agreeing.

You were a member of Hellfire Club, basically part of their big family, especially as Eddie’s girlfriend. They were worried about you too, so Hellfire could wait for a week.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

You groaned loudly as you woke up with the biggest headache, feeling like death.

A look at the clock told you that it was 8pm. What a wonderful time to wake up. Fourteen hours of sleep wasn’t your record, but it was good enough to ignore the responsibilities of daylight and blocking out the sun completely.

There was barely any light left now and you could barely see the little cracks in your ceiling where the paint was coming off.

You really should get out of bed, get something to eat or drink but staring at the ceiling felt so much better.

Your whole body felt heavy, felt like it was just a burden to you. God, you wanted to sleep again. The more your brain was waking up, the faster the dark thoughts came back.

Not good enough. Not pretty enough. Not worth it. He will break up with you. You’re a loser. Bad at school. Never going to make it in college. No one loves you. You shouldn’t be here anymore. You should just-

You winced at the thought alone. It hurt but there was nothing you could do. Those thoughts had been back for a few weeks now, without a warning. Things had been good. Dating Eddie, making new friends thanks to Hellfire, doing a lot of things with Nancy before you wouldn’t see each other as much anymore because of college.

And then the darkness crept up in you, whispering and entwining you, making it hard to breathe.

You had been able to mask it at first as you always did when it happened. Forcing yourself to smile, telling everyone that might suspect something that everything’s okay.

In the end, the energy costs had been too high. Maintaining it had been impossible, so you started to make excuses, trying not to worry anyone.

Now you were just bound to your bed because as soon as you got up there was this feeling inside of you. The one that also currently made you scratch your arm without thinking about it.

As soon as you realized it you stopped immediately, tears at the corners of your eyes. Why now? Were you not allowed to have good things in life?

Breathing was hard and your back hurt from lying in bed all day and yet, there was no way you’d get up. Your parents were on vacation, and you were really grateful because no one would question why you were in bed all day.

For everyone else you were just sick and that wasn’t even a lie. You were sick but it was all in your head.

Well, technically because at this point, the mental illness had taken a physical turn.

You closed your eyes again, trying your brain to stop.

You just wanted to sleep.

For a moment you thought it would work until you heard a knock on your window. The surprise took you fast and you felt your heart beating out of your chest when you turned around to see Eddie sitting on the roof in front of your window.

You stared at him for a long moment, not sure what to do. What was he doing here? But at the same time, what did you expect? He was your boyfriend; at one point he’d get worried about you.

“Hate to rush you but it’s starting to rain,” you heard his muffled voice through the window. To your own surprise, you turned on the light and actually got out of bed to walk over to the window, opening it for him but immediately going back to bed as he crawled inside.

“Jesus Christ, how do you even breathe in here?” He asked and didn’t close the window behind him. Right. You didn’t open the windows for the last four days, there must be a disgusting smell inside of here.

“Sorry”, you mumbled as you crawled back under the cover. You could feel his worried eyes on you, but you had no energy to do anything about it.

It was unfair to him, you knew that. You should tell him but how would you even start?

“I’ve missed you,” he told you with a soft smile as he walked over to you, sitting down at the edge of the bed. His gaze was wandering over your face and his smile faded. You knew how you looked, that’s why you avoided looking into any mirrors.

“Missed you too.” Not even a lie, being without him just felt so wrong but you just couldn’t. It felt impossible to do anything.

“Will you tell me what’s wrong?” He asked and stroked your cheek slightly. The gesture almost made you cry. Right to the point.

“I’m just sick,” you answered, trying to avoid the actual conversation that would need to happen eventually.

He didn’t buy it; you could see it in his eyes. He was thinking about a physical sickness like a cold or something.

“Please, don’t lie to me, sweetheart. If I’ve done anything to deserve this treatment, please tell me and I’ll make it right.” His voice sounded so sad and it almost broke you apart.

He shouldn’t blame himself for something that was you all along. He probably thought you didn’t love him anymore and you hated that but how do you explain?

Tears were once again gathering at the corners of your eyes and he looked at you with even more worry now.

“Do you ever feel like you’re losing your mind?” You asked him, trying to find the right words because he deserves to know. You didn’t want him to be in pain because of you.

“I mean, just on a daily basis?” He laughed softly at his words but stopped when you didn’t join in. “But this is different, isn’t it?”

You nodded and tried to sit up a little more, leaning against the wall behind you. “I’m sick. Just…not physically.”

He tilted his head to the side as if he didn’t understand until it seemed to dawn on him.

“Oh,” was the only thing he said, and you let out a huff of amusement. Not a laugh, that would be too much, but you were just glad he understood what you meant without needing to say it out loud. It wasn’t common to talk about it, that’s why it was so hard. You hadn’t even been sure if he would understand.

He looked at you in silence for a moment before rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, pondering what to say.

“How can I help? Can I do anything?” Eddie asked and a tiny smile was at the corners of your lips.

“No, it’ll be fine eventually,” you said with exhaustion in your voice. It was sweet of him wanting to help but you were barely able to form a normal thought that wasn’t dark. He could probably do a million things; you just had no idea at the moment.

“I want you to be fine now,” he muttered, and a single tear rolled down your cheek when he said that. You wished you could be fine too.

He looked you up and down and then got up, holding his hand out. You looked at his hand and then back up to his face, sliding down under your covers further again. Getting up felt so goddamn hard even with him here.

“Trust me,” he whispered, and the words alone felt like he just grabbed your heart with his hand, squeezing it.

For a long moment you looked at his hand again, looking at the rings until you reached out for it, feeling his strong grip closing around you and pulling you up.

You felt dizzy as you got up and your legs were weak after being in bed for so long, but his strong arms wrapped around you, holding you tight. He placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

“How long have you been in bed?” He asked as he took a step backwards so he could look into your face.

“Two days. Except pee breaks,” you admitted, and he sighed, a sad smile on his lips.

“What about food? Water? Shower?” For a man who didn’t seem to know what to do, he seemed to know what to look out for because he asked the right questions.

“Your perception is too high,” you muttered and took a step forward, pressing your body against his again.

He felt like home.

“It’s at +3 at least but please answer my question.” You sighed into him and then shook your head.

“Water a little, food barely, no shower,” you admitted and saying it out loud hurt. Saying it out loud made it feel real. Showing you what kind of failure, you were.

“Come on,” he said and took your hand again, leading you down the stairs carefully, through the kitchen right into the yard. The rain was coming down loudly on the canopy over you.

“What are we doing here?” You asked, not even sure what his plan was now. He was so full of surprises.

“I haven’t been sleeping in all of my biology classes. You need fresh air and get your body going,” he told you with a grin of mischief before he pulled you out of the canopy, right into the rain.

You shrieked a little as the cold water came down on you and he laughed. “Let’s dance.”

“I’m not dancing in the rain with you! It’s fucking cold!” You wrapped your arms around yourself as you already started to shake. It was such a big difference from your smelly room with sticky air and your warm covers.

It was fresh and cold and you hated to admit it but it felt good.

“Be romantic like all the girls in those movies you like,” he teased and took both of your hands in his, his hair already drenched and clinging to his body, the white parts of his Hellfire shirt transparent, hugging his stomach.

You let him pull you into the middle of the yard, his hands warming yours.

“I’m very romantic,” you muttered, and he grinned at you, letting go of your hand to bow down slightly, only holding out one hand as he looked up at you.

“Well then, my lady, may I ask for this dance?” He asked and he was so ridiculous you couldn’t stop the soft laugh escaping you.

As soon as the noise left you, his eyes started to shine some more. You took his hand and he stood up straight, putting his other hand on your waist and started to dance with you in some rhythm you didn’t really recognize at first until he started to sing your favorite slow song.

It was slow enough for you to put your head on his shoulder, enjoying his closeness.

“Promise me something,” he suddenly asked, and your body stiffened, not sure what he was going to say. “If it ever gets this bad, don’t push me away. I want to be there for you.”

For once you were grateful for the rain so he couldn’t see the tears that were running down your face. How did you even deserve a man like him? The dark thoughts were whispering you didn’t but feeling his warmth embracing you was telling another story.

You didn’t know what to say at first so you just nodded, letting a moment pass before you whispered, “I promise.”

After that he started to sing your favorite faster song and he was dancing like crazy to it. It looked so ridiculous, and it took you a moment to join in, his silliness pulling you with him. The longer you danced like idiots in the cold rain from above, the more you started to feel alive again.

Later one the two of you took a warm shower where he took care of you, washing your hair, your back and all the other places where you didn’t have the energy to clean yourself.

He then cooked you a tasty dinner even with his limited cooking skills and the almost empty fridge but at this point your body would have eaten almost everything.

He made sure you drank enough water to make up for the last days and then some more.

You felt exhaustion creep over you again as you were on the couch, watching a movie he had put on. You laid half a top on him, blanket wrapped around both of you as he held you close, drawing little patterns on your skin.

The dark thoughts wouldn’t go away that quickly. You knew that. They would come back, over and over again, maybe for the rest of your life.

There was no cure and even though it hurt to think about that, it was the truth. Not even Eddie could fix you, it was something you had to deal with but knowing you didn’t have to deal with it alone anymore already helped. You had been afraid of him not understanding, of him pushing you away for it and yet here he was, taking care of you.

Together, you were sure that it was possible to hold the demons at bay.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #stranger things #stranger things imagine

[frogmanfae]

George Karim X GN! Reader- Talented

Summary: George gets left behind and becomes overwhelmed with intrusive thoughts. That is, until a certain someone let's him know just how important he is.

A/n- I really relate to George in the aspect of always being last choice, so I really feel for him. I hope if any of you relate to this, you realize you are significant

George POV

Everyone looked around at each other as if they were deciding who to leave behind. We got commissioned to take care of a type one, a very simple case. There's no need for all four of us to go, in fact it's really a job two people can do on their own but ever since Lucy almost died going on a job with only Lockwood, he's been adamant about having at least three of us go.

"Why don't we just all go?" (Y/n) offered, though it seemed to be just a way to be nice.

"According to the house measurements the client submitted to me, it'll be crowded with just the three of you. It's a two room apartment with very little space between rooms, only about five feet wide corridor and a twenty square foot kitchen. Both rooms are about fifteen square feet. It's insensible for all four of us to go." I sigh and begin to go to the library. "Have fun, don't die."

"Wait, Georgie where are you going? We haven't decided yet." (Y/n) reaches out to grab my hand.

I pull my hand away. "As if. It's obviously me who's staying, don't act like that hasn't been decided this whole time. I'm a researcher, I've accepted that I'm only an agent when it's necessary. I'm just not as talented as you three."

"George, that's not true-" Lucy steps in.

"Go on, the sun will be setting soon." I continue to the library. "You'd best be off."

They all looked like they wanted to say something, but the setting sun was too much of a pressing matter and they all left.

(Y/n) lingered a bit after the other two. "You know, I think you underestimate yourself too much." And they were off.

I stood there for a moment, processing what they said, before going to the kitchen to get some tea and biscuits.

"Damn it..." I close the cabinet after being reminded that I finished off my preferred tea this morning and I already ate all but two of my favorite biscuits.

I start to go to the library again before stopping in my tracks mid step. On the table was a box of tea, my tea that nobody else really cared for, and a container of the biscuits I eat. Next to it there was a note written on the cloth, it was in (y/n)'s hand writing.

I noticed the cupboard was running low so I went to the store early in the morning. You really need to start putting your things on the grocery list when you start to run out, Georgie.

I smile to myself and put the kettle on. After I fixed my tea I finally went to the library and sat down in the chair opposite of the one Lockwood usually sits in.

Before Lucy came along, I'll admit I really felt something for him, so I would often sit in this chair while he spent his late nights reading magazines and worrying over bills. I've since given up on those feelings after we realized Lucy was more powerful than anyone since Marissa Fittes. I knew Lockwood would never feel the same way about a loser like me as opposed to someone like her.

But about a year after I finally let go of all my romantic interests for Lockwood, (y/n) joined our agency. It was completely on accident, we had been on a case and they were working freelance on the same one. They saved Lucy's life, then Lockwood saved their life and offered them a job and a place to stay. They share a room with Lucy just because it's the largest room in the house.

Since then I've began to develop the same feelings I once had for Lockwood but now for (y/n). I don't really know how to describe it, but I think I feel stronger feelings this time around. They're a lot nicer to me than Lockwood ever was, not that he's mean to me but he can definitely be a prick.

I sit in that chair with my thoughts, biscuits, and tea for about an hour before I go to my room and get ready for bed. I'm not planning on sleeping anytime soon but why wear pants when I can wear no pants?

I lay on top of the made bed for a while, and before I know it my head began to be filled with unwanted thoughts. Thoughts about how I'm a failure and untalented and insignificant.

I think about this a lot. I know that I mean something to the people around me, but that's really only three people. And it should be enough, but sometimes...

Well I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if they'd just be better off without me, though they would almost certainly die without me simply because nobody else researches as thoroughly. However, I think they would do just fine with the research (y/n) collects whenever they help me.

I look in the mirror across the room. I'm such a nerd. And a loser. I'm a nerdy loser. Wow. This is what I've become.

I cry for a while. I'm not entirely sure how long. It's not violent crying, but definitely messy and ugly and it lasts at least an hour.

I hate it when they leave me alone.

I hate being alone.

I hate that I never have good company by myself.

I hate myself.

I can't do this right now. I get up and just walk around the house. I go up and down the stairs probably six times, all the while tears are still falling from my eyes. I'm upstairs by my room when I hear the door open. I put on some sweatpants because I know how cold it gets after those three come home, the essence of a visitor still on them.

"Georgie! I'm back!" I hear (y/n) call from the ground floor.

I rush down the stairs. "Where are the othe- OH MY GOD YOUR ARM!"

"It's fine, Georgie I just need a band aid." They wave me off.

"Uh, no that needs to be taken care of! There's so much blood! Might I remind you your shirt was white before you left!" I go past them to grab some first aid items out of the kitchen but they stop me.

"Georgie you've been crying."

"What? No, I'm just... I'm a bit tired is all."

"No you've been crying, there are tear stains on your face." They bring their hand up to touch my cheek, wincing at the pain in their arm.

"Alright, no, you're in a lot of pain, go sit in Lockwood's library chair and I'll be right there."

I go to the kitchen and get a bowl of water and a rag, some disinfectant and cotton balls, bandages, and stitching supplies. I take it all into the library and ask (y/n) if they can roll up their sleeve.

"I think it'd be easier if I just took it off, don't you?"

I tried my hardest to conceal how flustered that made me feel and just nodded. They removed their shirt and sat in front of me in only their undershirt.

I wince at the sight of the fully exposed gash. "This is a nasty cut you've got, what happened?"

The cut was deep. So deep, in fact, I'm almost surprised I couldn't see their bone. It went up almost the whole side of their forearm and even a little bit up their pinky finger in a bit of a diagonal line. Bits of the surrounding skin were already turning a couple different colors, suggesting mild infection.

"I got distracted."

"Distracted? By what? And what exactly happened as a result?"

"It caught me off guard. It came up behind me and I jumped when it screamed. I pulled out my rapier, but it got caught on the side of my arm. It's been a couple jobs since I've properly cleaned the blade so it probably had a lot on it."

"What could have distracted you so much?" I take the rag and first use water to clean it before moving on to the disinfectant. "This might sting."

"Uh, you did."

"What?" I pressed the cotton ball in a bit too hard out of pure shock, causing them to inhale sharply, "oh! Sorry! Sorry!"

"It's alright..." They sighed. "It's okay, Georgie... I just felt bad about leaving you behind."

"What?" I set the disinfectant down and threaded the needle.

"Uh, can you finish stitching me up first? I don't much enjoy talking while I'm being sewn together."

I nod. "Right, understood."

I started stitching them up and almost began crying again at their occasional wince, I apologized probably twenty times throughout the whole process.

"Georgie, it's fine, really it's- gah-"

"Sorry! I'm sorry... Okay... All done." I took a fresh rag to clean the area, dry it, and then bandage it. "There... Better now?"

"A bit, thank you."

I clean up all the supplies and take it back to the kitchen to be properly dealt with later before returning to the library and sitting in my chair. "I'll have a look at that every day to disinfect it and eventually take the stitches out. Now, what about me distracted you?"

"Well... Why were you crying when I came home?"

"I wasn't."

"Yes you were, Georgie now out with it."

"I watched a sad movie."

"We don't have cable and our VHS player broke last week."

"Read a sad book."

"A whole book?"

"I had a lot of time to kill."

"Georgie."

"Fine. I was thinking about how you guys are all better than me and how I'm always going to be every one of your last choices. I'm not as talented as any of you and I never will be. I will always be George the researcher, never George the agent."

"Georgie..."

"It's true, don't deny it."

"I don't think that way. I never have."

"Don't lie to me, it's patronizing."

"I'm not lying. George, I'm here right now, aren't I?"

"So? Wait- where are the others?" I stand up, worried something had happened.

"They went to get something to eat."

I stepped closer to them. "Why didn't you go with them?"

"Because I'd much rather be with you."

I was silent for a moment before I sat down on the floor. (Y/n) climbed down from their chair and sat across from me.

"Why?"

"What do you mean?" They tilted their head.

"Why would you rather be with me? They're the cool ones, I'm the nerdy loser."

They giggle. Shit that's adorable... "Nerdy loser? Who's put that in your head?"

"... I suppose I did."

"Well... Did you ever think that I happen to like nerdy losers?"

I shake my head. "No..."

"Well. I do. I think the world would cease to exist without nerdy losers. And I'm ever so grateful for them. I'm ever so grateful for you most of all."

I sit there with my mouth agape. Grateful? For me?

"What's that look?" They ask me.

"What look?"

"You've got a look in your eyes like... Well I don't quite know how to describe it."

They look at me and I just look back at them. Then I kiss them. I haven't a clue what got into me but I kissed them. And I haven't a clue why but they kissed back. It was magical. It was like we'd set off a flare. I would never have another kiss like this in my life.

"Georgie..."

"... Shit. Shit I'm so- I am so sorry." I stand up. "Oh my god I am so sorry!"

"Georgie calm down." They reached up and pulled me back down to the floor. "I've wanted to do that for months."

"What? Really? With me?"

"Yes with you silly." They smile. "I really like you."

"You do?"

They nod. "I do."

"I really like you too."

"Well if that's the case, why don't we go to breakfast tomorrow? Just the two of us."

"Like a..."

"Like a date."

I nod. "That sounds incredible."

"Perfect." They lean in again just as the front door opens and we hear Lockwood laughing.

"Lockwood you really aren't that funny." Lucy says as the door closes.

"Shut up, I'm hilarious. George! (y/n)! We're back!" He calls. "Where are they?"

(Y/n) stands up and leans on the doorframe of the library. "You sound like you're in a good mood."

"What happened to your arm?" Lucy gasped.

"Did you guys not see that?" I nearly yelled, somewhat out of anger and somewhat out of shock. "It was vile!"

"It wasn't that bad-" (y/n) began but I interrupted.

"Uh, no it was bad! As the guy who disinfected, stitched up, and bandaged it, it was bad!"

"It needed stitches? How could you not tell us?" Lockwood looked at (y/n).

"Uh, no, don't pin this on them! It was you who didn't see the foot long slice in their arm! Was nobody there when it happened?"

"We had all split up in the different rooms. They came right after."

"God, what's the point of sending three agents when you split up? That's every horror movie ever!" I throw my hands around.

"Georgie, calm down. It's okay now. I tried my best to keep it hidden so it wouldn't concern anyone, and really I didn't think it was that bad."

"They still should have noticed."

"You're right, we should have." Lockwood puts his rapier in the holder. "I'm sorry, I should have been more aware. Is it alright now?"

"It'll need some time to heal, but George patched me up pretty well."

He nods. "Right, well... Good work tonight. Have you showered yet? You can have the first one."

"I have to wrap your arm in plastic first. You can't get those bandages wet." I lightly touched part of the bandage with my finger. "I'll go get some, go sit back in the library."

"Yes, Dr. Karim." They said it with a taunting voice, but it made me feel something. I've always wanted to be a doctor. Whether that be a doctor of medicine or history or science or whatever I haven't yet decided. I had almost forgotten of that dream of mine.

Lucy and Lockwood went off to their respective rooms and I came to the library with a roll of clear plastic and shut the door behind me.

I kneeled in front of them as they held out their arm and silently began wrapping. There was so much I wanted to say, but I didn't dare. They probably didn't want to talk about it. I had been taking care of them, that's why they kissed me. It was the adrenaline. They surely regret it.

"Georgie?"

"Hm?"

"Are you my boyfriend now?"

"What?"

"Are we... Are we dating? Or...?"

"Well... I don't know, are we?"

"I mean... I'd like to be, if that's what you want."

"It is what I want. I want it a lot."

They nod slowly. "So... Are we...?"

"I... I think we are..." I smile. They kiss me again. "Hey, you know what would be funny?"

"If we didn't tell the others and just saw how long it took for them to realize."

"Dear god I think I might be in love, we share a brain!" I laugh.

They get warmer and giggle. "I should go shower. I'll see you in the morning for breakfast, yeah?" They get up and start walking out of the library.

"Yeah, definitely." I wait a second until I hear them go up the stairs, then I flop flat on my back with a wide smile and laugh. I don't know why I laugh. Perhaps I'm just filled with so much joy and don't know what to do with it other than let some of it out with laughter. It's almost overwhelming. Every moment I'm waiting to wake up, but I never do. Because, despite the voices in my head, I am good enough for someone. Not just someone, but (y/n). That's mad to me.

But, mad in the best way.

#george karim #george karim x reader #poor George karim #someone tell him hes special I beg of you #self doubting George karim #gender neutral reader #x gender neutral reader #lockwood and co #lockwood and co x reader #implied Lockwood x Lucy