#as always if that's not what u wantd come bother me

[procrastinationonvacation]

Okay so, Elves are really serious about marriage and also about adoption (this includes adoptions that might technically count as kidnappings). But this probably means that a spouse is essentially a new child/grandchild/sibling. This results in elven relationships getting....pendantic.

Take Fingon and Celebrian as an example. Fingon should be considered Celebrians cousin or perhaps a distant uncle. However. Celebrian is married to Elrond, Elrond was adopted (sort of) by Maedhros, and Maedhros is married to Fingon. This means that most valinorian elves consider Fingon to be Celebrians father, which comes with all sorts of wonderful complications.

If you then apply that to every elf in Valinor, things get complicated quickly. (If you hc Gil-Galad as the son of Fingon then you could argue that he’s also Thingos descendant , because Fingon is married to Maedhros is father to Elrond who’s mother is Elwing)

... anon I love this SO MUCH. 

Elrond is just trying to have a Nice Normal luncheon, but Dior keeps passive aggressively calling Maglor “my son” and Gil-Galad (brother through Maedhros) is trying to figure out if Turgon is his grand-dad or uncle. The lunch isn’t helped by Nerdanel inviting Melian over because that makes her her grandmother, right? and they have to invite grandma. Great grandma Yavanna shows up too. Finrod is Elrond’s uncle both through Maglor and through Celebrian, they dont know what side to put him on for the wedding.

Feanor recognizes Turin (and only Turin) as his *full* brother.

Earendil argues that *technically* he should count as Feanor’s kin through Elrond, so it really shouldn’t matter to the oath if he keeps the silmaril.

-

i might have gotten a little confused on my family trees (I dont have any with me) but the Point is: CHAOS! I love it!!!

#asks #as always if that's not what u wantd come bother me #and thanks for the ask!!!

[procrastinationonvacation]

This has, btw, nothing to do with our little feanorian Tauriel au, it just happens to involve the same characters (this is because I am actually very uncreative).

I really like the idea of Tauriel as fiercely independent and also a very capable warrior (we’re talking one of the best fighters of the Third Age type of capable). But she’s also generally small and young looking, and has a tendency to simply aquire new parents. People always talk about Maglor adopting any vaguely young person he meets, but Tauriel does the opposite - she has One conversation with someone older than her and they promptly adopt her. Tauriel is unfortunately not aware of this effect that she has.

This has two (3) major consequences.

1 - Tauriel is now considered a princess several times over in every elven royal family, which she is still absolutely oblivious to, she simply thinks people in Aman are very nice.

2 - several already very tense diplomatic situations have been made exponentially worse by the discussion of exactly who Tauriels true adoptive parents are, the only thing that stops these meetings from becoming kinslayings is that it would upset Tauriel.

3 - Any person Tauriel has ever argued with immediately backs down when it might become physical, this is because there are six (6) important lords, five (5) princes, three (3) feanorions and someone who is most definitely Tulkas is disguise standing behind her just daring the poor soul to start a fight.

Hi! Wow big peter parker energy over here, I Love it :D

Every single diplomatic debate has just dissolved to: ‘would Tauriel like this? no? then shut the fuck up, George.’ She’s probably the most powerful person in Valinor and doesn’t even realise it. 

ok listen, yes, anyone fighting Tauriel realises they are In Danger from the parents but Tauriel, who I head canon as exceedingly ready to throw hands at very slight provocation, and like tbh im sure some of them think it’s like environmental enrichment (no one wants your opinion Ambarussa) (Yes they do, we’re Tauriel’s favorite). 

Also she’s gonna have the Best birthday party where everyone passive aggressively out do one another. like all the Parents are milling around like ‘oh that’s a nice Silmaril, Feanaro, it will decorate the present packaging so nicely...oh it is the present? oh...how embarrassing’

#i got the idea for that last bit of dialogue from a comic by nailsinmywall #tauriel #HCanon #as always if that's not what u wantd come bother me #thanks for the ask!!

[procrastinationonvacation]

Oh wow! I loved your Daeron post! Could I request something about Fëanor and his relationship with his sons and wife - how it was pre-Silmaril and after?

- Captain Anon

Captain anon is just sitting over there giving me validation with every single ask and i love them <3

uh tbh my view of Feanor has been heavily influence by Frankenstein recently. What it comes down to is before shiny = good, after shiny = not so good -> worse -> well at least hes dead

Before:

Ok so I can go either way on this. But. I think Feanor loved them well. To have children who’d follow you into exile and then into darkness. Plus its much sadder if Feanor was (kinda) a good person to begin with.

So I imagine that he was a good father, and yeah he was rather plagued with anger at the gods and Finwe, and was very grudging towards his (half) brothers - i feel like Feanor’s ghost would come after me if I don’t include that - but to his family I think he would act well.  

If the family was dysfunctional before the shinys then it was because of being over protective. I think Feanor is none too trusting and perhaps a little restrictive because sure people say its safe, but Miriel wasn’t supposed to die either. So what’s to say no one else has gotten hurt and then swept under the rug.

Also I think I’ve said this before, but even if he’s opposed to it, Feanor isn’t going to stop any of his kids from hanging out with the cousins. And he’s fine with them coming over too. (no he’s not warming up to the cousins… MAYbe it would look Bad if they were always at Nolo’s house. have you ever considered that Nerdanel? He’s obligated to have them over with the best activities. By the feud. Obviously.)

I think he also would be really insistent to his kids, whenever they felt like “why am I not at the forefront of literally every field except aquatic research” that they were enough just as they were, and tries to show them they are in no way a burden. Because I head canon that he wonders if he wasn’t good enough for Miriel to bother sticking around. Or if he wasn’t good enough to fill Finwe’s need of family. (I imagine he wasn’t finwe to be happy with Just him)

Also for Nerdanel. Um. They vibe SO Well. Their marriage endangers half of existence. Nerdanel wants a moving statue. Feanor says well how about a dancing one. Nerdanel says hey lets make it sing. Feanor says lets bring it to life. Aule says NO.

-

After making the shinys, but before they were stolen:

Just an update to say he starts being suspicious of everyone and upon seeing his mistrust, his sons also grow suspicious of others and the family closes ranks.

I think this is where that possessive love I talked about a bit a go comes in too. I’m blaming Melkor for it. I don’t think it’s directed so much at his sons, mostly towards his father, but idk I think that the main aspect for it is that it’s very consuming. Listen I’ve been reading Frankenstein and looking for themes for my class. Half the time I just want to write an essay on Feanor, change the names and call it a day.

-

the theft of the shiny:

Like I said, I wish to write Frankenstein essay but for Feanor. At this point he’s no longer a good parent. The ambition that before was sated with crafting and being Better Than Nolo (TM) is now directed solely towards Morgoth’s destruction.

I think Nerdanel sees that and understands her husband is lost.

I think the kids see that and they know Feanor’s always been angry, and they’ve been on road trips with him before. The first swearing of the oath I dont think they know what they’re getting into.

-

Dying:

Not much to say for Feanor here except that this is his final failure as a father and person, being too enraptured in this idea of a glorious fate to kill Morgoth, and too obsessed with his silmarils and father to think of his sons. (does this remind anyone else of gondor when Gandalf is talking about how people were valuing their lineage and stuff, forgetting to be concerned with the Current kingdom?)

What IS striking however, is that his sons rewear the oath. Like yeah, it’s his dying wish and all, but hear me out. By now they.. they kinda know what this is going to entail. They know they’ve become murdurers for this oath. They’ve abandoned their friends, their family. They watched their father be consumed by it. And they swear it again.

“let not him swear to walk in darkness who has yet seen the night fall” (or whatever elrond says, I dont have my book with me)

a good point about the sons not necessarily knowing what they were getting into by our boy, but me thinks they kind of did know. 

At least a little bit.

#thanks for the ask!! #i enjoyed it very much and the family is Super interesting #ignore that my brain cant deal with seperate themes from books and just smashes them together #sorry abt that #Captain anon #head canon #shiny murder family #feanor #as always if that's not what u wantd come bother me

[procrastinationonvacation]

We very much appreciate your last answer! May I ask for some headcanons on Maglor, Maedhros and the twins, post-third kinslaying? Thank you 😊

- Captain Anon

Hello! We very much appreciate your patience this last week an—

*HC BRAIN SLAMS FOUND FAMILY BUTTON SO FAST IT BREAKS THE SOUND BARRIER* (under cut as per ususal)

Ok first, for the life of me, I can’t decide on why Maglor took the twins, or why Maedhros agreed to keep them. So here’s a couple of theories I’ve seen as well as one that’s more mine:

The good old “can we keep them” + 🥺🥺 = “fine” followed by “what no they are hostages and I have no emotional attach- wow! you made that? That’s amazing! Can you teach me?”

The Twins 2.0

I think Mags deciding to keep the twins is the start of his character arc (he’s late to the party but oh well)

My interpretation is he’s always been a little short sighted, not really prone to introspection, trying to ignore that he and his family are all kinda… monsters, at least until this part of the book. (That probably comes from how he barely shows up in the story.)

He probably shows up to the kinslayings in a very detached “its one of those days” manner.

Maybe he realizes its time to face up to everything once the 3 Cs die. Or maybe it really does take Amrod and Amras for the introspection gears to start turning. Either way, who/what their family is can’t be ignored anymore, and it’s time to take the route that takes down the fewest bystanders as they go to their doom.

—

Ok so at first the twins are very much not gonna talk to the creepy murderers thank you, even if Elrond already knows they aren’t going to kill them (Certainly his foresight would notify him of his own death. he hopes). They’re 6 but they know what’s up and you bet your ass Elrond can hold a grudge. Plus Elros says They’re creepy, and Elrond’s gotta agree.

Maglor is pretty stumped cause ofcourse it makes sense the kids aren’t talking to him or anyone, but that can’t be good for their health and he does actually want them to be happy. He goes over to Maedhros like “oi help” to which Maedhros is like “bro ur so fucking dumb, listen to them, they sing 24/7 just like u.” and Maglor is like “oh. right. singing. i do that. ok.”

It’d be really cute if he went and started singing a song that’s meant to be easy to join into, one of the silly dumb ones that are entirely out of place in a war but make everyone laugh and be happy and just forget for a minute. It takes a while, but Elros’ voice quietly joins in. Then Elrond’s. Unfortunately its one of those ditties that gets stuck in your head, and with the twins and Maglor singing it, the whole camp has it stuck in their heads for *ages.* And I mean ages. In the fourth age, people are sitting in the halls of Mandos, almost to a peaceful state of mind, when freaking “the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon” gets stuck in their head again and fills them with Pure Rage (they only remember one verse! it’s not even a full verse!) (it’s been thousands of years dammit). It would be really sad if Maglor started singing a lullaby Feanor taught him, only to realize Finwe sang it to Nolo, who sang it to Turgon, [insert generations], who sang it to Elrond and Elros, who sing it back to him. Even cooler if Elros sings it to his kids, and it becomes an ages long game of telephone until one day in the 5th age Maglor hears it on the beach and is about to cry, but then realises it’s in the wrong fucking key, and half the words are mistranslated, and is annoyed instead.

Not sure exactly why, but singing together brokers a kind of peace. As for Maedhros, he isn’t exactly a singer, but he’s not tone deaf, and if Maglor’s a kid who sang 24/7 Maedhros is the older brother who knew how to deal with it. (in other words he’s very good at encouraging artistic talents, even when those talents seem to consist solely of being annoyingly Loud.

Anyways fast forwards thru hugs and kisses and kinda questionable parenting (but with good intentions!) and lots of love. I head canon that M&M “kick out” the twins like “you have to go because uh… we hate you very much” which would have been believable but they also sent them away with a guard on the road and carefully packed bags, plus once M&M were gone, a lot of their old followers showed up in rivendell like “This is Maglor’s child and we love him very much.” Which was a very interesting diplomatic incident to say the least, but reminded Elrond they did actually care about him and his brother. (Dunno if elves are going to Numenor)

Elrond, Elros, Celebrimbor (and sometimes Gil-galad, depending on his father of the week) have monthly parent crisis meetings. They are also all cousins and friends. I don’t make the rules. Thanks giving dinner is a hoot, I’m sure.

-

Also, unrelated note: but wouldn’t it be cool if Elros was the one with stronger foresight, and it’s because of that long view of life that he chose to be mortal? Like Elrond would see maybe a few years, or a century ahead, but Elros sees the millennia stretching out before them, all the destruction and futility and just nopes right on out.

-

again thank you so much for your patience with me while I was doing AP tests. I had quite a few ideas written out, but needed the headspace to organize them. Ily! Have a great day :)

-Sam

#captain anon #emotional support hostages #thanks for the ask!! #as always if that's not what u wantd come bother me

[procrastinationonvacation]

I hope you’re well! I can’t remember whether I sent you another ask or not (I have a terrible memory) so feel free to ignore this, but would you very kindly share your headcanons on Curufin? I love him very much.

- Captain Anon

no you didn’t send one, but that’s ok, we love you anyways!

you know who we dont love quite so much? Curufin. (like as a person, as a character he’s cool)

Anyways imo his character arcs kinda “yay cool person! go go go!! wait.. wait hold up. Child stop. No. Bad. WHY WOULD YOU- oh ok they’re dead now.”

Happy times: We’re keeping the puns thing. Why? because I get to make more puns this way.

Ok can confirm Curufin’s word smithing idea came from feanorianethicsdepartment. So credits to them for that. What I imagine is that while Neylo may have spent his time learning politics, Curvo’s the one who’s been searching for double meanings, who spent their early life digging through the under currents of speech. I imagine he forms his sentences hand picking each word for just the right Diction. For that reason, he’s probably buddies with Maglor.

Speaking of buddies, he’s obviously very close to Celegorm, so through him I imagine he associates with, but isn’t necessarily close to Aredhel. He also met Finrod through them, in the sense that Celegorm and Aredhel are the Unhinged outdoors people and Curvo and Finrod are slightly less happy with mud. They also share a love for language, so that’s nice too. In the blessed realm, their relation ship kinda boils down to: “If I didn’t hate you so much, you would be my best friend” “aww thanks”

I think Feanor isn’t a very trusting person at any point, and this kinda rubbed off onto Curufin. I think he’s one of those people who does very well running off competition, so a familial rivalry is something he’d enjoy. Once Feanor stops trusting the cousins at all, I think Curvo ends up in a tight spot. He’s used to siding with Feanor (I think all the brothers are, but especially him) and he’s used to having to defend that “feud” with the other families. He might not quite believe that the Nolofinweans are trying to supplant anyone, and certainly the cousins he’s friends with (namely Finrod and Aredhel) aren’t, but he doesn’t know Nolo, not like he knows his father. And Feanor’s never wrong, right? So he starts looking for those hidden agendas his father sees, and if you manipulate what people have said enough, there’s *always* a hidden agenda. The thing is I imagine Fingolfin and co (and really most everyone) aren’t polishing every word out of their mouth to be innocent of any second meanings because, in a world of fairly consistent peace, why would you? Unless you’re a particularly dedicated poet (like Maglor, Finrod, etc) or Curufin.

Parenting wise, I assume he was a good parent bc Celebrimbor a) learned smithing too and b) went with him to middle earth. Im also head canoeing that Celebrimbor picked up puns from him, so. good parent. Cool uncle Celegorm. Yes.

-

uh sad, later part of life? Shit person.

I think the oath kinda changes how the whole family thinks, and twists them into different people.

The defensive and loyal love from before changes to being possessive and selfish. He starts picking people’s words apart in order to throw them back into their faces, sharp and cruel. I do not like later in life Curufin (though I do feel bad for him) so I’m just not gonna dwell on it.

-

anyways, thank you so much for the ask. I am doing well, though I’m a little busy, and hope you are too. Have a great day!! (i just realised I wrote my intro as “we” and uh.... *gollum vibes intensify*

#asks #Captain anon #long post #anyways thanks for the ask #as always if that's not what u wantd come bother me #<3

[procrastinationonvacation]

Whiskey/wine drinking buddies with Sauron is the best image I could have of Thuringwethil! Could I now beg some opinions on Finrod, just generally and his relationships with all his various friends?

- Captain Anon

Hi! hope you’re doing well and thanks so much for the asks!!!!

Finrod is the Kindest most amazing child and I love him very much. The following part is about him being Happy. (We are ignoring sad things until the End, or possibly for the void to consume.)

Captain, ‘all his various friends’ is a very dangerous phrase, he has more friends than Maedhros has names because to him everyone/thing is friend shaped. (continues under cut)

We’ve discussed that lovely finwean invincibility and “the only thing that can stop me is god, and even then I only listen to them when they agree with me.” (though I’d revise to add that Indis may be an occasional exception because she’s helped him commit so many Crimes) I believe Finrod’s comes out in the sheer confidence that people will like him and be on his side. I think in the beginning he was also a very sunny and optimistic person (erodes over time but shh we aren’t talking about the sad)

I also think his moral compass is linked on personal loyalties as opposed to a cause. Obvs this shows up when he’s helping Beren but also when he goes to middle earth (I think he goes bc friends, not belief in Feanor but I might be wrong).

-

ok specific friends:

Listen idk with whom, but he was definitely buddy buddies with some of the dwarves of the Blue Mountains bc there’s no way he spent however long making a custom cave fortress and also exchanging gems + fancy necklaces and Didn’t.

It’s really funny to me that he’s also one of the first points of contact for men as well. Like Finrod really seems to be going around pioneering the diplomatic relationships among the races.

I believe he would also be close with Maedhros and with Fingon because it says that the three of them often met to take council or whatever, and honestly? all three seem like very social and agreeable people and I can’t imagine them not getting along after having to sit in court, or wherever eldest sons sit during official things, and *not* becoming friends.

Andreth would also be close friends with our boy, I think Aegnor probably showed up at Finrod’s house like “hey wtf do I do with this” and then separately after some meeting or something, Andreth showed up like “hey wtf do I do with this” and yeah sure, they had some nice philosophical discussions as per recorded history but I am Convinced they were a set of friends who just made up really weird ideas for fun. (ex: finding out what branch of government you’d be elected to in order to redraw the Buffalo city country lines in the shape of a buffalo)

Curufin I’ve already talked about, but again I think they were fairly close because they’d end up on the same sorts of trips, and I think Finrod’s generally disarming demeanor would cause Curufin to be a little less… uh… snappy, because Finrod’s not really the type for hidden agendas, being more devoted to the ppl he cares about than to any particular mission.

-

Y’all I Cannot express how upset the post Dagor Bragollach field makes me. He’s lost his brothers, he’s got a nephew who’s just lost their parents, Celegorm and Curufin have shown up, his city is in considerable danger for the first time, his brother’s human gf has also presumably died in it, like all together not a fun year. Then we kill his uncle, then we kill his new human bestie Barahir, then freaking Beren shows up with the ring he’d given Barahir trying to get the Stupid gems his brothers just got killed over, and THEN his own COUSINS turn his city against him. Like JESUS what a decade.

oh he also gets captured and killed my sauron but hey at this point…

Anyways, I think the reason he isn’t harsher to Celegorm and Curufin is because he’s just lost a lot of people who were really close to him, and that Belief that good things will happen for good people is really fading away. And I think he has to have wondered if the Cs were right, if his ‘heart on the sleeve’ leadership was what they needed or if it was strong military with Compromises that would get them through. (this isn’t phrased well, but I think you know what I mean)

Also there’s something about him and Fingolfin that like…. going off to challenge a god… one in despair for the people he’s lost and the other in loyalty for the few he has left… 

both being honored martyrs who's graves remain untouched by evil, but in the end made the irresponsible decision to leave their kingdoms?

-

unrelated but I think we should appreciate every family has had their turn fighting a god: Finwe himself, Fingolfin for his house, Finrod for the Arafinweans, Celebrimbor for the feanorians

-

Anyways, hope that’s what you were looking for!! Thanks so much for the ask, ily!

#asks #Captain anon #as always if that's not what u wantd come bother me #finrod #headcanon

[procrastinationonvacation]

As always, your headcanons are amazing! Could you possibly do something for Thuringwethil?

- Captain Anon

HI! god sorry I didn’t mean to take so long to get myself to do this.

crack idea: Sauron is a goth theatre kid and has undying affection for Thuringwethil because she’s the only one in angband who knows the old musical songs from Valinor who’ll sing them with him.

Honestly, I really just… I wanna know more from Tolkien, like Luthien introduces herself as Thuringwethil saying she cast a shadow over the face of the moon?? (or something like that) and um,,, professor,,, more content please,,,,

(post continues under cut)

Anyways, 110% wine drinking sassy fashion buddies with Sauron. I feel like she’d get back with orders from Angband like “guess what these dumb fucks are doing now.” and Sauron would have the wine (no, we want whiskey this time) (that dumb?) (that dumb) ready to go while they plan out what comes next for Tol Sirion. (FYI my auto correct hates me today)

Anyways, I imagine her kinda in that sneaky rogue skill set, her name being secret shadow and all. I saw one person criticizing Sauron’s combat skills since he lost to a) a dog and b) a human, so I assume Sauron uses more magic attacks and is suited to ranged fighting. Not so true for Thuringwethil, she seems to appear inches from poor soul’s face, stabs them in the heart and even before the body hits the ground she’s flitted off to kill some other person. Her creepy shadow rogue/monk to go with Sauron’s goth theatre kid wizard/warlock.

Since she’s a vamp and flies I imagine that she was originally one of Manwe’s maia, and because I like sad things, was friends with Sauron through Eonwe, and got pulled into the corruption by Sauron, though perhaps not intentionally, I’m still working out how i imagine all that went down. Anyways, the loyalty of having been friends in better times and then making the journey to whatever the fuck the first age was together made her and Sauron pretty close friends, which is why she acts as his herald.

I don’t really know a ton of the canon surrounding Thuringwethil and the valar so lemme know if anything I said is wrong :)

again im so sorry this took me so long to get together! Thanks for the ask Captain!!

#Captain anon #as always if that's not what u wantd come bother me #and thanks for the ask!!! #asks #the ang band #Also to HCanon: I got ur ask and I love it and I Will get to it I just haven't been in the right kind of headspace to answer asks but I #think im better now. sorryyyyy

[procrastinationonvacation]

It’s the anon again! I loved your rambling about Russingon! If I may, would you like to do the same for Daemags? (Or another ship, I’m really not fussy)

hmm...Daemags… two options:

Crack: enemies to lovers in .01 k words. (They’d like it to be a angsty slow burn, but both are too prone to dramatic declarations/speeches for anything longer. They’re like Hamlet, and are very aware they’re in a play. They just don’t realize its a crack play)

The other one would be a slow thing in the second and or third age and it’s actually really interesting to me. A narrative where they learn to be part of society again, to accept they’ve done wrong that they cannot undo (A certain M named person’s done a considerable amount more wrong but hey thats not the point) but realizing they have to move forwards anyways.

But wait! you say, Daeron didn’t choose to leave, he got lost. That’s valid, but I really don’t see how someone can get *that* lost in their own forest without choosing to. So I imagine that he went into the forest searching for his sister, and on his way back thought about the shame and grief of his family and it just seemed easier to exile himself, and to disappear rather than face that.

Now I’m not saying big grand redemption arc cause idk those often get cheesy. Nor am i saying “oh its been a long time so we’re good now.” Just,, Daemags ensuring that the later half of their lives creates a positive influence (big or small), I’m saying they help eachother let go of the grand aspirations from the past and maybe eventually face up to the consequences of their actions (again Maglor’s got some more actions to have consequences for but tbh at this point im not interested in what they’ve done, I’m interested in the guilt they harbor that so completely removed what could have been 2 very powerful entities from the later narrative)

-

Thanks for the ask, Anon! (gonna name u… Captain Anon!)

Also no worries about asking too much stuff, if I need a break I’ll just not answer for a bit XD    and I’m so hyped to talk about the Nerds next ask.

ok so clarification point on Daeron: I’m on the canon that he’s Luthien’s brother because it provides me lots of space for projection, which is also why things might not smell very canon in this post.

Anyways Daeron’s is really interesting to me once I’ve over projected and made a ton up: I imagine his pov going something like “ok there’s this dude my sister’s infatuated with and like,, first of all no.” (and yeah there’s jealousy involved here too, idk maybe he’s thinking that’s his sibling, and she’s supposed to hang out with him, not some mortal) Then she wants to go on the quest designed to kill the mortal?? So yes, once again appealing to the higher authority here. And lo and behold it works out even worse than last time. Fine fine time to be Helpful. Then he dissappears into the woods. Eventually he gets the news Luthien’s dead, and like maybe a little part of him that he hates is like ‘haha i was right she shouldn’t have dated that guy’ but mostly it’s like ‘hey if I’d stayed at court would she still be alive’ 

#asks #but yep thanks for the asks captain anon i enjoy them very much #daeron #maglor #as always if that's not what u wantd come bother me #Captain anon