#around the end of june. and then started laughing at me when i straight out said 'no it's false' to the shit they said. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hazelchooseme · 6 months

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Spider-Woman | Hazell Callahan

Note: okay so I pulled this out of my ass last night at 1 in the morning to finish at 5 in the morning (yes, I'm dying now) so any mistakes forgive me.

English is not my first lenguaje

Song recommendation: Devil Is a Woman by Cloudy June.

Enjoy 🕸️

You looked back at Hazel for what seemed like the thirtieth time this hour, but no one could blame you, not when she looked so pretty with her cheeks pink from laughter, messy hair from always playing with it without realizing it, with bright eyes that wrinkled in the corner every time she laughed. Yes, no one could blame you.

When the credits of Mean Girl began to appear on the screen Hazel turned her head resting on the couch towards you.

"I have to go." She said with a small pout.

"Finally, you were taking too long." You joked with fake tiredness.

With a fake crying sound she threw herself on top of you, her right arm resting on your waist while her head rested on your chest so that her hair tickled your nose.

"Get off me." You said making no effort at all to move her and enjoy the smell of her brown locks.

She lifted her head, resting her chin near your collarbones, leaving her mouth dangerously close to yours.

"Why? I'm quite comfortable." Her breath tickled your corners and her hand on your waist seemed to be playing with the hem of your shirt.

This had been happening for a while, it seemed like Hazel was testing you, playing something you didn't understand very well. She had become too comfortable in your personal space, always finding a way to touch you or be close to your lips. In class she would lean over moving your hair and whisper something to you that you definitely didn't understand since you were too focused on the tickle of her breath on your ear or her kisses on the cheek that seemed to get closer and closer to your lips.

Or maybe not and you were imagining everything, Isabel was also shy at first with you and ended up jumping on you for everything and kissed your head every time you acted "cute" according to her, either way it was driving you crazy.

Maintaining eye contact you could swear under oath that you could live in those perfect blue pools, pools that moved scanning your face, not being stupid, you started doing the same. Her lips were a little dry with some small wounds since she had a silly habit of biting them (which, obviously, didn't affect you at all) you were sure that under yours they would feel a little scratchy, a few strands of hair framed her face giving it an almost unreal touch of perfection, her cheeks were still red, you wondered if they would be warm under your touch, and as always you ended up drowning in her blue eyes, the fact that you could look at them from so close felt like a privilege and a sin. You involuntarily moved your head as you took a big gulp of air pushing Hazel's chin with yours, with a half smile she blew into your face making you close your eyes.

"You lost." She said as you felt the weight of her body leave yours, you started to feel cold almost immediately.

"I really need to go love, I have to finish some work, I'll let you know when I get there." As you had not yet straightened up in the chair, she rested her right hand on the furniture next to your head and with her right hand she cupped your chin gently lifted it, leaving a kiss practically on the edge of your lip. With one last wink she finally walked out of your house.

When you could breathe again you sat up straight still dizzy from all the sensations in your body. In those minutes of silence you noticed two things.

1: This was completely different than with Isabel.

2: Did she just call you love?

"Holy shit." Isabel shouted through the cell phone speaker after you explained to her what had happened. "Since when does Hazel have so much rizz? Last Friday I saw her crash into the same door three times."

"Don't know." You expressed with frustration. It was around 10 PM, you were in your pajamas taking off your makeup on the dresser, usually you would be listening to some song but this was more important. "There are times when she has these confidence boosts where she knows she's hot and uses it to her advantage, I don't know what to do."

"But are you crazy? Eat her mouth obviously."

Of course you had considered it but every time you intended to do it there was a little voice in the back of your head calling you ridiculous, why would someone like Hazel want someone like you to kiss her? That was simply stronger than you, so you bit your tongue and moved on with your life.

"Nah ah, get those thoughts out of your head, you're beautiful and completely worth it." Isabel scolded you as if she were reading your mind.

"You're my best friend." You said as if that mattered anything.

"And that's why I'll lie every time I have to to save your ass, but not with this and you know it." You could imagine her look of determination through her voice. "Next time you look hedeous I'll tell you so you'll believe me."

"Thank you, I know I can always count on you." You said sarcastically although you actually mean it.

You hung up after an hour to finally be able to rest, if you were lucky you would dream of a place where Hazel did love you.

What a depressing shit.

With the light off you settled between the sheets and blankets, the night was quite cold so you had your entire head covered muffling the cold and sound, but it wasn't enough since you could clearly hear someone opening your window. You paralyzed almost immediately. Your cell phone was charging on your dresser on the other side of the room, you always left it there so you had to get up and turn it off so you could wake up. At this moment you regretted it so much, stupid internet tricks.

Before you could even think about what to do or how to hit someone, a whisper echoed throughout the room.

"It's me... Are you awake? If you weren't and I just woke you up, sorry."

"What the fuck, Hazel!" You said loudly as you sat up removing the covers from your head.

"Sorry, I still don't handle this thing about raiding private property very well."

"You almost killed me." You reached out to turn on your lamp but Hazel whispered a loud "No" stopping you in the middle of the action. "Why not? And why are you whispering? I told you that mom is not here tonight."

"Ah... It doesn't matter, before you turn it on I need you to promise me that you won't scream, pass out or vomit, you know I'm sensitive to the smell."

"What? Why? Are you okay, did something bad happen?" You couldn't help but ask with concern.

"Just promise me, please."

Her tone that dripped with desperation made you agree quickly.

"Okay, I won't do or say anything." Paying attention you could see with the reflection of the moon how she nodded her head, you also noticed how it seemed that she was holding her left rib with her right hand, weird.

Feeling nervous you pressed the switch, the room filled with an orange color finally revealing Hazel, but it wasn't Hazel, or well, yes it was but it wasn't her dressed as Hazel, she was dressed as Spiderwoman with a suit full of blood and cuts.

Your mouth hung open as your hands covered it, a strangled sound coming from your chest.

"You said you weren't going to scream, please don't scream, I give you permission to faint." Hazel pleaded with her hands up.

"I, no, no, I wasn't going to, mmmh, no I wasn't... I wasn't, no." Perfect, Hazel had broken you.

The more you continued to examine her the more worry bubbled up inside you, when you came out of the trance you noticed the red liquid covering her left side, you jumped up and walked towards her.

"You're..."

"Spiderwoman, I know let me explain—"

"Bleeding a lot, what the hell happened?!"

"What?" She asked puzzled.

Being close to her you took her face in your hands analyzing it, she had a cut on one of her eyebrows and another on her right cheekbone, her lip was covered in dried blood as was much of her nose.

"Shit Hazel you look." Hot. "Hurt, let me help you."

"I just told you that I'm Spiderwoman, aren't you going to say anything else?" Her incredulous expression was quite funny.

"I'm going to say that I'm going to fuck the shit out of you if you don't listen to me and take off your clothes."

She looked at you in silence for 5 seconds. "Not the kind of help I need but I'll take it."

"Hazel!"

"Okay, okay, sorry."

Running around the house you began to gather anything that could be useful, you wet towels, you found ethyl alcohol and in your mother's room you found some pain pills and a bandage.

You returned to the room to find Hazel in the exact same position as when you left. "Hazel, what did I tell you about undressing?" You scolded her with your arms full of things.

"Sorry, the button that opens it broke and the closure is behind, I can't reach it." She defended herself quickly.

"Ah, okay, sorry, let me." Leaving the things on the bed, you approached her, in an undisguised way you wiped your palms against your pants and went around her, right where she had told you the zipper was.

"It might hurt a little because it's a pretty... Tight suit." You warned with your eyes lowered.

"You're looking at my ass?"

"What the fuck, obviously not." Obviously yes.

With your palms that were sweaty again, you pushed her somewhat tangled hair to the side and began to unzip her. Her cream skin with a few moles began to show and swallowing hard you looked away after seeing her purple bra, when your hand reached her lower back you jumped back.

"Ready."

Clearing her throat as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other she spoke. "Can you help me... Take it off. It's kind of hard if I do it alone."

"Ah, yes, of course."

You surrounded her again to now end up in front of her, without daring to look her in the eyes you began to help her slide her left arm through the sleeve, you took her elbow to finish sliding it out of the material, then you moved to the other. You could feel Hazel's gaze burning your face and you were sure she could see your deep blush, when the other arm began to move you quickly moved your eyes before seeing something that Hazel had not agreed upon. Luckily for you, your eyes ended up in those blue pools that looked at you with an intensity that stole your breath. Holding her wrist to remove it from your sleeve, you let out a small sigh, but even though you had finished you couldn't stop looking at her, it was hypnotizing and it didn't help that the secret that you had just discovered made her hotter. When Hazel clung a little towards you, you came out of the trance, your friend was bleeding to death, please concentrate.

"Sit... Um, sit on the bed, please."

Obediently following your instructions, you walked over to where you had left your supplements, with a wet towel in hand you approached her without daring to lower your gaze.

"Hazel, I'm going to have to... You know, if it makes you uncomfortable you can do it and I'll turn around." You suggested nervously.

A sweet laugh escaped her lips. "Hey, if it's you then it's more than fine."

Kneeling in front of her you began to clean a large cut that covered most of her torso, you focused your gaze only on that so as not to be disrespectful but, my god, you were very homosexual.

"I'm going to pour alcohol on you and that's going to fucking hurt so suck it up and forgive me."

You took the white bottle and wet one end of the towel, you inhaled as if it were going to hurt you and in the gentlest way you could, you began to give small touches to the wound, Hazel complained a little but nothing too exaggerated.

When you thought that was enough you fell back on your butt exhaling.

"God, I almost died."

"Yes, it must have hurt you a lot." Hazel mocked you. You looked into her eyes while you scolded her, but it didn't last long, from that position she looked illegal, you didn't know how to express it in other words. Without being able to stop, you began to look at her body, there were small cuts in the chest and stomach area but they looked as if they were already healing.

"I can put the bandage on." Hazel warned you, smiling sideways. Embarrassed that you had been too obvious, you jumped up and turned your back on her, searching for something in your closet.

"Here, this is yours, The other day you left it here." You said showing an oversized light green t-shirt.

"When?" She asked confused.

"Like two years ago."

"Aaah, yeah, the other day." She scoffed again.

With her laughter in the background you turned around to go soak the towel, those blood stains were going to be difficult to explain. When you returned Hazel was finishing adjusting her shirt over her shoulders.

"Thank you, I feel much better." You would do anything for that smile.

"I'm not done yet, let me clean your face."

The fact that she was now fully dressed helped calm your nerves, you dipped some cotton pads in alcohol and turned to her.

Before you could say anything she interrupted you. "It's going to hurt, I know, I trust you."

With a sigh you moved closer, grabbing her chin delicately, you began to clean the wound on her eyebrow and cheekbone, occasionally changing the cotton pads to do a more hygienic cleaning and it gave you time to breathe and try to control your shaking hands.

"I'll wipe your lip and finish." You talked just for the sake of talking, with a small sound of affirmation Hazel clung a little closer to you. At this point it was easier if she sat on top of you, you thought.

With a new cotton ball, you began to clean her lips. They were still as dry as they were a few hours ago, Apart from a few small cuts everything looked good, the fact that you had all your concentration on her mouth did not help in being able to breathe normally and on top of that, her scrutinizing you with her eyes made you want to send everything to hell and just "eat her mouth" as Isabel had said.

Now, really finishing, you dried your fingers with the towel and turned to see Hazel.

"There, it's as if nothing happened."

She simply nodded as her gaze moved from your eyes to your lips. "Amm, your wounds, they heal quickly."

She still didn't respond. "That's pretty good, I mean timely, since you probably get a lot of wounds and they must hurt, speaking of pain, I brought you some pills to take—."

Hazel's hand on your neck immediately silenced you, causing you to drop the medications you had picked up, her eyes searched yours and with a silent question you nodded before finally pressing her open mouth against yours.

The reaction was immediate, your whole body heated up, your heart began to beat so hard that you could feel your blood flowing throughout your body, your ears began to ring and your hands moved to her waist, squeezing carefully. Whimpering into her mouth as you opened it allowing entry, her tongue caressing the corner of your mouth that she had kissed so much to finally begin to explore and taste you. The sound that came out of your mouth made you feel embarrassed but it seemed to excite Hazel as her hand that was resting on the bed moved up to your thigh where she began to squeeze, you took her hand and put it inside your shirt, allowing her to explore wherever she wanted. Your hands didn't seem to be able to stay still either as you pulled her hair, eliciting exquisite moans that you savored on her tongue. Hazel pulls you closer, delighting in the way she explored your body. When you finally separate, you are both breathless and blushing with your heart beating erratically with the excitement and desperation of a new kiss.

"Holy shit." Was the only thing Hazel could say between gulps of air.

You wanted to say something back but your head was so foggy, you could only think about her hand on your bare back and her moans were repeated on a loop in your ears, and you thought she couldn't make a more attractive sound than her laugh. Her fingers ran the width of your back in a way that made you tingle. Lowering your hands you came across the material of her suit.

"Don't think I forgot that you kept Spiderwoman from me." You reminded her, playing with the zipper.

"Yes, I have been very bad, punish me."

Laughing, she placed her mouth on yours again in a calmer way and really enjoying the moment.

You had finally eaten her mouth, Isabel would be proud.

#hazel callahan #ruby cruz #bottoms 2023 #bottoms movie #hazel callahan x reader #hazel callahan x you #hazel x reader #lesbian #sapphic #wlw #fanfic

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sunflowergirl522 · 1 year

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#1 Fan

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Famous!Reader

Summary: Corroded Coffin opens for you on tour and you get to see your best friend for the first time in forever.

Word count: 5906

Eddie Masterlist

“I’m sorry you want Corroded Coffin to play where?” Disbelief is thick in Eddie’s voice as he stares wide eyed at the phone's receiver.

“Mr. Munson, we'd like for your band Corroded Coffin to open for our main act here at the Clyde Theatre June seventeenth.” The amusement is evident in the man on the other end of the call as he repeats what he had already shared but Eddie doesn’t care he’s too much in shock to even notice.

“Am I being punked right now?”

“No sir, Ms. Y/l/n was adamant that if she was going to perform here your band had to be the one to open.” Your last name causes him to still before a wide smile splits across his face.

“Alright we’ll do it but we need some tickets for family you know how it is, first big gig and all.” He tries to act nonchalant instead of freaking out the way he wants to.

“Of course just give us the address to send them to with an idea of how many you need.”

When Eddie hangs up the phone he fist bumps in the air whooping in celebration. This was it, Corroded Coffin's time to shine. And it was apparently all because of you and he couldn’t be more grateful for it. He doesn’t stop to think about it much before he’s calling Gareth to get the other guys around for an emergency band meeting so he can tell them the good news.

Eddie bursts into Steve’s house jittery and late for weekly movie night with everyone. He’s almost an hour late and even though the sound of Robin going ‘finally’ from the other room would normally make him cringe he can’t get himself to feel any sort of shame for being late. He’s in too good of a mood, he’s spent the last few hours celebrating with the guys and trying to start figuring out what songs they’d want to perform.

“Look who finally decided to show up!”

“Shut up and sit down, Harrington. I’ve got the best news.”

“Hey!” Eddie trips over Dustin's outstretched legs on his rush to stand in front of the TV. He just offers his friend a sorry smile or at least tries to but he’s so euphoric that it definitely doesn’t come off as apologetic.

“I’m not sure if I like how smug you look right now.” Robin sits up straight from where she was lounging on the couch moving to the edge of her seat, almost kicking Mike in the head while she does so. The boy in question dodged just in time getting El to duck with him so she wouldn’t get hit either.

“Corroded Coffins gonna be the opener at the Clyde Theatre in five months!” He spreads his arms out as he blurts it as if the excited energy in his body needs another way other than the bouncing on his heels to come out.

“What?!” All of his friends freeze, some mouths gaping, some starting to grin as much as he is.

“Really?” Eddie nods excitedly looking towards Dustin who fist pumps at the affirmation.

“So I’ve been with the band to tell them and start picking songs to do and we got a little carried away with our celebrating hence me being late.”

“Who are you opening for?”

“Y/n Y/l/n.” Gasps echo throughout the room and El and Max look at each other in excitement while Robin smacks Steve multiple times in the chest, shocked laughs falling from her mouth.

“You’re punking us right?” Steve asks while grabbing his best friend's hand to stop her excited attack on him.

“Nope, why would I do that?”

“You’re actually opening for the sensation that is Y/n Y/l/n?”

“Yeah, I’m actually opening for Y/n. Didn’t realize you were that into her stuff Harrington.” If Steve was the same man he was years ago he would’ve cleared his throat and schooled his face to make it seem like he didn’t care.

“How can someone not be into her stuff? It's great! Did you at least score us tickets?”

“Figured you guys would want to come support the band so when I told the guy how many tickets we’d need I included you all in my count but I don’t know if we’ll actually get as many as I asked for. So no guarantees that you’d all be able to go because the guys get some of the tickets too and Wayne and Dustin are definitely getting tickets.”

“Why does Dustin definitely get a ticket?” Mike asks wanting to go see his older friend perform on a big stage more than anything.

“Because I’m his favorite.”

“Actually if I were to pick favorites it’d be Red but I don’t play that way. He gets a ticket because of other reasons.” Other reasons being he picked up the phone in the trailer once when you were calling and Eddie made him a deal that if he didn’t tell anyone he’d get a ticket to the first real concert the band ever did and Dustin took it being Eddie’s biggest fan and all.

“Max is your favorite?” She sticks her tongue out at Dustin as Eddie just shrugs.

“I see her all the time, she’s the annoying little sister I never had.”

“Okay, fine.” Dustin gets up from his spot on the floor and moves to stand next to him. “Y/n calls Eddie sometimes, they talk.” He emphasizes the word talk and everyone looks at Eddie in shock.

“You know her?” Robin's eyes would be bugging out of her head if this were a cartoon.

“We grew up together and stayed close until she graduated and made it big. So I knew her but now we only talk every once in a blue moon so I don’t really know her anymore.” Eddie explains while shoving Dustin for telling everyone his secret. The boy scoffs before continuing on.

“Once in a blue moon being on birthdays and holidays and then you talk on the phone forever.”

“Eddie I’ve literally played her music around you, you know how much El and I love her, why wouldn’t you tell me you know her?”

“It’s not really something I want to commercialize. I don’t want people to decide they like me just because I’m friends with someone famous or that they like Corroded Coffin for that same reason. Besides Steve knows her and she knew him, granted that was back when he was still a dick.” Steve cringes at that, he only vaguely remembers you from school but since you were friends with who was considered freaks he never actually interacted with you. “Can we watch the movie now?”

A little after Eddie gets home late that night the phone rings and as he picks it up he gets nervous that it’s the guy from before calling him to say they’ve changed their mind.

“Hello?”

“Is this Mr. Edward Munson? We’re calling about all those tickets you wanted.” Your deepened voice comes through the phone causing a small laugh to fall from his mouth.

“So you heard about the tickets then?”

“Oh yeah, the theatre called and said they wouldn’t be able to give that many tickets away even if it meant you guys wouldn’t open for me.” Eddie cringes a bit at hearing that, looks like he’ll have to be prepared for everyone to start trying to butter him up for a chance to go. “I of course told them to give them to you anyways and I’ll just pay for the portion that they can’t freely give you.”

“You didn’t have to do that just for us Y/n.”

“Eh, I would’ve done it for anyone. Besides I had to make sure the guys would be able to have their families around for this pivotal moment for the band.” On your end of the line you sit on the hotel bed and glance at your nails as you speak. “Oh! I upgraded them to meet and greet tickets too so you better come through and open for me because I miss Wayne. And I wanna meet that kid Dustin so you better bring him along too.”

“We were gonna open for you even if we didn’t get the tickets. This is huge for us and the guys are excited to see you after not hearing from you for so long.”

“Do you not tell them when I tell you to say hi to them for me? I’ve been meaning to send them letters but I haven’t had the time.”

“Um so I don’t actually tell anyone that we talk.” Eddie scratches the back of his neck sheepishly at the confession.

“What?!” You screech before lowering your voice so as not to wake up your assistant in the room next to yours. “Why not? No wait, that's sort of a stupid question huh? But why wouldn’t you tell the guys? You know I was sending them stuff earlier on and trying to keep in touch with them too.”

“Yeah but then you stopped even calling for a little while and we all thought you got too busy to keep in contact. I didn’t want any of them to feel like I was getting special treatment because of you just calling me.”

“Obviously they’d expect you to get special treatment Eddie, you ar- were my best friend.” You’re quick to correct yourself before you can call him your best friend still. You’re not too sure if he still thinks you are and you definitely don’t talk enough for it to be plainly obvious that the two of you are. It certainly doesn’t help that you still have a stupid giant crush on him even though you haven’t even seen him in years.

“You know I wouldn’t be able to deal with their teasing, I’m sensitive.” Eddie pouts even though you can’t see him but you laugh anyway.

“Yeah right, I’ll believe that when I see it. Alright, I gotta go Eds. I have to go on a morning show tomorrow to talk about the tour. I actually have a lot of press and what not to do and then the tour starts so the next time we talk will probably be the concert itself.”

“Alright, I’ll see you then.”

“See you then. Good night Eddie.”

“Night Y/n.” You both hang up the phone wishing you would’ve heard the nicknames you called each other back before you left town fall from the others lips.

“So Y/n you start your tour soon are you excited?” The last talk show host you have to answer questions from asks from the seat across from you.

“I’m so excited! We hit the road tomorrow for the first show.”

“And this time around you have a show close to your hometown of Hawkins right? I’m sure it’ll be nice to be close to home.” You perk up even more.

“That’s actually the show that I’m the most excited for. Don’t get me wrong, I’m psyched for the whole tour but the band that’s opening for me, Corroded Coffin, holds a special place in my heart.” You talk with your hands the whole time and they eventually land resting on your chest.

“And why’s that?”

“Oh, right I always seem to forget that people don’t know this about me but I was really close with them while I was still in school. The lead singer was my best friend, we grew up together, and I grew close to the guys in it now my senior year of high school when they joined it. I was even a part of it a few times.” There’s a goofy grin as you talk about them from thinking about good times with the band and Eddie.

“You were a part of the band?”

“Not all the time but sometimes Eddie would write something that he said would only be good with my voice and I would sing while the rest played. Or I’d stand in for someone if they couldn’t play one night at a gig or something.”

“Have you had much contact with them since you left Indiana?”

“Not as much as I wish I did if I’m being honest. But I get to see all of them at the show in June and when the tour is done I think I’m gonna take a little break from it all and maybe see if they wanna spend some time together and catch up.” Really you want to visit Hawkins in general to see your family and get out of the limelight for a little bit. Because this was honestly exhausting, rewarding and everything you’ve ever wanted in life but exhausting. You’re so glad this is the last interview you have for a while. And even with the really nice apartment you have in New York you just want to go home to good food and warm hugs from your two favorite men in their shabby trailer.

“So all of your openers for each show are different, most not even heard of before, why is that?” The interviewer changes topics to get back on track

“Well I know that my whole becoming famous this was a fluke and how hard it is for bands and solo musicians to get discovered when they start in someone's basement or garage. So I wanted to bring some of the ones I’ve discovered in my own travels into the spotlight a little bit, maybe give them a nudge in the right direction of getting noticed. So each one of the openers are undiscovered artists from the general area of where we’re performing.” You speak with your hands again, unable to contain your excited energy. This was your favorite thing about this tour. “It’s actually one of the reasons it took me so long to announce it, I was going to places I hadn’t really been before to find underground artists. There’s a little bit of everything genre wise throughout all of it.”

“She literally seems so nice.” Max says with El agreeing with her as they watch the interview on the floor of Eddie’s trailer. Max tends to hang around his trailer most of the time now that he’s taken on the role of the older brother Billy should’ve been. She doesn’t even knock anymore and invites El over as if it’s her own. Eddie doesn’t have an issue with it though, he’d rather she hang around and feel at home in his trailer than sit in an empty trailer and get stuck in her head and besides he likes the super powered girl she calls her best friend. The last thing he wanted was for her to go through another PTSD episode alone.

The man laying on the couch behind the two girls looks at them from behind his book. They’re both looking at him expecting some sort of response. Eddie shrugs, sitting up and placing his book on his knee stretching his arms behind his back.

“This whole tour idea thing isn’t something I knew about but it’s definitely a Y/n move. She’s always been someone who cared about others and their dreams. She’s one of the kindest people you’ll ever meet, that’s probably why she made it big so fast after graduating. Good Karma and all that.”

“I can’t believe you might not take us to the concert.”

“Oh, did I not tell anyone yet? We’re getting the amount of tickets I asked for and they’re all meet and greets now because Y/n upgraded them.” Both girls' eyes go wide and their mouths open and close like they’re fish out of water.

“So we’re, we’re meeting her?” El’s the first one to speak during their stunned silence.

“Ya.” Eddie barely has time to move his book from his knee and onto the couch next to him before he’s getting tackled in hugs.

“Oh my god you’re the best! We have to tell Steve and Robin, can you drive us to Family Video?”

“Fine but only if you let me tell them.”

It’s busy inside of Family Video when they get there. Everyone must be there for the new movie that just came out to VHS that Eddie can’t remember the name of. The girls hop out of the van before he can even finish parking it and he has to speed walk to catch up with them at the doors. Inside they find Steve stocking a shelf and Robin stuck behind the counter with a line of customers to deal with.

“Steve!”

“Oh, hey girls, what are you doing here?”

“Eddie has something to tell you.” Max shoves Eddie towards Steve and he smiles and shakes his head knowing the minute he starts talking she’s just going to interrupt him.

“I got-”

“He got all the tickets he asked for and we’re all going to see him open for Y/n.”

“And we get to meet her.” El adds on and Steve’s eyes widen.

“What?!” He drops the movies he was juggling in his arms causing people from the aisle to look at him. “Shit. Eddie tell me they aren’t lying.”

“Nothing but the truth.” A choked sound comes out of his mouth as Steve picks up the movies he dropped and puts them on the shelves quickly and haphazardly. He rushes over to Robin getting behind the counter and spinning her to face him instead of the customer she’s ringing out.

“Steve what is it? I’m a little busy here after losing that rock paper scissors match. Sorry about this.” She turns back towards the customer as she addresses him.

“Robin, Robin listen to me. Look at me. We’re going to meet Y/n Y/l/n when we go to the concert.”

“What?!”

After months of perfecting their songs and getting ready for the concert it was finally time to hit the road for Fort Wayne. The band is packing up the van with their stuff in front of Gareth's house when the gang pulls up in front of it piled in Steve’s mini van, which he decided to get when he realized he’d be driving more than just Robin around all the time after Nancy left for college.

“Don’t you have a hotel to check into Harrington?” He calls out as Robin's window rolls down and Steve leans over to say something.

“Mike and Dustin wanna go with you, something about not wanting to listen to all of us sing on the way up. Is there room in the van for them?”

“Jeff’s driving the guys up because we’ve got the amps and stuff in the van so I have the passenger seat free.”

“Dibs!” Dustin yells practically pouring out of the full minivan in his rush to get it first.

“Eddie, what if I sit in the space between the seats?” Mike begs as he stands half in and out of the car.

“It’ll be a little cramped but sure you-” He stops speaking as Mike slams the door shut and rushes to Eddie’s van to be able to get in. “Lucas, you wanna try to jam yourself in there too?”

“I’ll stick to having my own space instead of being stuck so close to you three but thanks.”

“Suit yourself.” Eddie shrugs before placing the last amp into the back and shutting the doors.

“Does this mean we’re meeting you at the hotel first or is it still the venue?”

“Still the venue, I wanna get this shit out of the van as soon as possible and make sure I won’t forget chords or anything. These twerps will just have to suffer with not picking which of the rooms that Steve got they sleep in.”

“Sure it’s about the chords.” Gareth laughs as he gets in the passenger seat of Jeff’s car.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Eddie’s face scrunches up in confusion and Steve picks that moment to peel down the street wanting to miss the fight he thought might break out.

“Probably that you’re just hoping to see Y/n sooner and using everything else as an excuse.” Adam teases getting in the back seat and Eddie freezes like a deer in headlights.

“No that, that’s not what this is.”

“Whatever it is Eddie, let her know we’re excited to see her.” Jeff winks before pulling out of the driveway.

“What was that about?”

“Shut up and get in the car Wheeler.” Dustin laughs at how grumpy his friend seems at how his band saw right through him deciding to keep any thoughts he might have to himself. He’ll let Mike realize everything himself if they do actually meet Y/n.

Between Mike and Dustin deciding they needed to go to the bathroom at different times of the drive and insisting they stop in a drive thru to eat since they’re missing dinner with Steve and everyone else going with Eddie the drive up, which was only supposed to be about an hour, ends up being close to two hours. Eddie never thought he could hate his friends this much as they pull into the backlot for the venue to see Jeff’s car already there parked next to the tour bus that has to be yours. Okay hate is a strong word, he’s just so annoyed with them at the moment that he wants to yell. As they get out of the van Eddie makes his way around it to open the back doors.

“Where do you two think you’re going?” He stops them in their tracks in their attempt to escape their annoyed friend. They turn to look at him, Mike cringing at the look on Eddie’s face. “Get over here and help unload.” Eddie hands each boy a guitar case and a part of Gareth's drum set. “When you get in there tell the guys to get their asses out here.”

“On it.” Dustin salutes him before leading Mike into the building.

“He’s really in a mood huh?”

“He’s just pissed because we prevented him from possibly seeing Y/n early. He’ll get over it.” Dustin shrugs as he talks to Mike knowing that he’s right but hoping it’s sooner rather than later.

“Did you guys see her already?” Eddie asks the guys after a while of silently unloading the van with them.

“Yeah, we got here early enough to talk to her, she just went to start her sound check though.” Gareth laughs at the groan Eddie lets out as he realizes if he were here even ten minutes earlier he would’ve seen her.

“How is she?”

“She’s good, she looks and sounds great too.”

“Shut up.” Eddie slams the back door shut instead of shoving Jeff like he wants to for teasing him like this.

“She also made sure to let us know all about how the two of you talk and you purposely don’t tell us when she asks about us.”

“She’s such a fucking tattler. Now move it gentlemen I’ve got kids to strangle before we do our own sound check.” He knows that even though there will be an hour between when their sound check ends and the show starts he won’t see you then. If he still knows you the way he used to you’ll be napping because you didn’t really sleep the night before. So he won’t see you until after the show, he’s hoping he’ll get lucky and see you in between their set and your own but he knows that’s a long shot too.

Eddie’s still buzzing from the applause and cheers they got by the time you get on stage to perform. It was unlike anything he’s ever experienced. All of their instruments and equipment have been piled up and placed in the area to the exit but the moment Eddie heard the cheers for you to get on stage it was like he was under a spell. Next thing he knew he was as close as he could get to it from backstage and watching you look like you’re having the time of your life. He’s absolutely enchanted with watching you move around the stage.

“Hey Eddie, let’s get everything in the van.” Jeff suggests once he realizes that the concert’s almost over. Like him the rest of the band also just stopped to watch you perform. The thought of all of their stuff still sitting out had completely blanked their minds since they were all just happy to see you again after so long.

“Huh?”

“Yeah the shows almost over now, we should probably get everything packed up before everyone starts leaving.” Gareth laughs at how absorbed Eddie is with you as he agrees with his bandmate.

“It’s almost over?”

“Yeah man come on. You don’t want to be stuck packing it up when we’re supposed to be seeing her when she’s done right?” Adam’s words break him out of his trance and Eddie’s whirling around to make his way out.

“Come on numbskulls what are you doing standing around we have a van to pack up.”

To you the concert goes by so fast and before you know it you’re being ushered into the meet and greet area in the back waiting for some of your favorite people to show up. You greet a few fans that paid for their meet and greet tickets and sign a few things, take a few photos. But there aren’t many that weren’t part of Eddie’s group of tickets because they took up most of that type of ticket. Sure you basically sold out your own meet and greets for this show which was already limited due to the venue's rules and the headlines would probably have a field day if they knew that but you’re allowed to be happy and have things without having people who don’t even know you call you selfish.

“Wayne!” You almost squeal when you spot the man who was like a second father to you entering the room. A smile overtakes your face as you finish signing a poster for the last fan before turning and meeting him halfway wrapping your arms around him.

“Hey there kid!” He wraps you up into one of your favorite bear hugs and it feels so much like home that you want to cry. “How have you been?”

“Good, what about you? Eddie’s not driving you too crazy is he?” He chuckles as you pull away.

“Nah, not too crazy. I think you’ve got people who want to meet you though.” He steps aside and your attention goes to the group behind him, some of whom seem starstruck.

“Hi, are you guys a part of Eddie’s group?” You wave to them all with a smile on your face.

“So he does actually know her.”

“Shut up Steve.” The older two of the group seem to try to whisper while the girl digs her elbow into Steve’s side. One of the younger ones rolls his eyes and is the first to approach you.

“Hi I’m Dustin.”

“Dustin! Hi, it’s nice to put a face to the voice.”

“Same here. I guess I’ll introduce these guys since most of them are idiots.” He turns back towards the group and starts with the two younger girls in the front of the group who are bouncing with excitement.

“El and Max.” Your mouth moves as if you’re saying ‘oh’ but nothing comes out and your eyes widen slightly.

“You’re Max? I’ve heard a lot about you, Eddie talks about you all the time.”

“Oh my god you know who I am?” The boys in the group's eyes widen due to how high pitched and excited her voice sounds. It’s so out of character for her to them.

“Course I do, if I didn’t grow up with Eddie I’d probably think the two of you were brother and sister with how often he brings you up when we talk.”

“Can I hug you?”

“Of course!” You open her arms for her and only start to part when she initiates the break the way you normally do with fans. “I know a little bit about you too El, but not as much sorry.”

“Do not be sorry. It’s crazy that you know anything.” You hold your arms out for her with an encouraging smile and embrace her when she makes her way for a hug.

“It’s nice to meet you both.”

“Mike and Lucas.” Dustin points to two of the younger boys.

“Ah, the other Hellfire members right?” They both nod and go to shake your hand. When Dustin goes to introduce the others you stop him. “Wait, I think I can figure out the rest of them. You’re Will Byers right? You went missing my senior year and I had photography with your brother.”

“Yeah, Jonathan always said you were really nice and about how worried you were when I was missing.”

“I went to your funeral too. I wanted to help support Johnny the best I could. How is he doing?”

“He’s good.” Will smiles at how you ask about his brother, glad to know he had a friend there for him then he knows how few Jonathan actually has. “It’s an honor to meet you seriously, you’re one of my favorite musicians.” A lot of people tell you that you’re their favorite but it warms your heart to hear it each and every time.

“And then you’re Robin?”

“Yes! It is so so so cool to be able to meet you! I listen to your music like all the time!” Her excitement causes you to beam at her.

“I’m sorry if we did and I forgot but did we meet in school at all? Your face just seems so familiar.”

“No, we’ve never met. I would've definitely remembered that. But I was in Jonathan’s grade and in band so you might’ve seen me at pep rallies and stuff.” You snap your fingers and point excitedly.

“That’s where I recognize you from! Not the pep rallies, god Eddie and I hated those things. I joined band for like barely even a couple months before quitting my junior year which would’ve been your freshman year.”

“So you were in band with me?”

“It wouldn’t have been for long and I didn’t really interact with anyone when I would go but yeah.”

“That’s so cool!” She lunges at you for a hug before quickly pulling back. “Sorry! Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.”

“It’s fine, you can hug me.” You barely get the last word out before she’s jumping on you for another hug and causing you to laugh.

“And you’re Steve the hair Harrington. I definitely remember you, never would’ve thought you’d be at one of my shows.” Your eyes narrow and you cross your arms over your chest. Steve rubs the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Yeah, look-” He gets interrupted by the door to the room swinging open.

“You guys took way too long, it’s like you’re trying to kill me or something.” As soon as he’s in the room yours and Eddie’s eyes meet and the biggest smiles overtake your faces.

“Eddie Bear!” You rush past Steve and Robin bumping his shoulder as you run to jump into Eddie’s arms.

“Sweetheart! You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”

“Bet I missed you more. You’re the one with the giant friend group now, I bet you forget all about little ol’ me all the time.”

“I could never.” He whispers it into your hair holding you closer than either of you thought possible and yet not close enough. The two of you stay like that for a while before Dustin clears his throat causing the two of you to separate. “Did you meet everyone yet?” He grasps onto your hand like a lifeline as he leads the way over to his friends.

“Yeah, I was just getting reintroduced to Steve before you came in.”

“You would not believe how different he is now than back in high school. He’s like a brand new man.”

“Really?”

“Would I really be friends with him if he wasn’t?”

“You have a point there.”

“You guys know I’m still here right?” Steve joins in, astonished at how in your own world the two of you are. He’s never seen Eddie like this with anyone or anything other than his music and when he’s DMing.

“Well it’s nice to meet the new you Steve.” You hold your hand out for him to shake, hiding a yawn with your other.

“You’re tired.”

“I’m fine.” You roll your eyes at Eddie’s observation knowing he’s about to get all protective.

“No you’re not, you need to sleep. Are you staying at a hotel tonight or on your bus?”

“Overprotective Munson is back!” Gareth jeers as he swings an arm around your shoulder causing the rest of the band and yourself to laugh.

“I’m staying on the bus. But I really wanted to meet all your friends.”

“Well you’ve met them, you’ve greeted them. Now it’s time for you to rest for your next show.” He tries to steer you towards the exit but you stand your ground.

“An introduction isn’t a proper meeting, I want to get to know them.”

“And you can when you come home after your tour. You have what, two other shows left? You can talk to them more in three days when you end up staying at the trailer.”

“Fine.” You sigh out and take your hand out of his so you can go hug Wayne again. “I’ll see you soon Wayne.”

“See ya kid. We’ll keep the trailer warm for ya.” You smile and wave to the rest of them before following Eddie out to the back parking lot, your hand back in his own.

“I really have missed you a lot, you know.” Eddie’s thumb rubs circles around the back of your hand as he walks you to the bus.

“I have too. I haven’t really felt at home since leaving Hawkins till I got a hug from Wayne and you.”

“Really? But Hawkins is awful.”

“Yeah, but home is where the heart is y'know?”

“Sweetheart, are you saying I’ve got your heart?” Eddie stops only a few steps from the bus entrance.

“Now hold on that’s not what-”

“Oh not what you meant huh? So if I were to ask you on a date for when you come home you’d say no?” He’s teasing you know it but you can tell he’s serious about the date by the look in his eyes.

“I’d be crazy to say no to a date with the lead singer of my favorite band. I am your number one fan after all.” He pulls you closer to rest his forehead on your own.

“And I’m yours, always have been, always will be.” You smile at each other and when you go to kiss him he places a finger on your lips. “Nuh uh, you need to rest. We’ll save the smooching for our date. I’ll see you then.” He pulls back and starts walking away.

“I hate you Edward Munson!” He turns, smiling at you and continuing to walk backward.

“You love me!”

“Yeah, I do.” You say it just for yourself but he hears it and can’t stop the beaming smile on his face the whole rest of the night.

Eddie Taglist (Closed): @sadbitchfangirl @notbeforelong @munsonswhore86 @navs-bhat @emotionaldreamer @magicalchocolatecheesecake @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @fangirling-4-ever @gaysludge @audhd-dragonaut @eddiethesexy @mazerunnerrose @tvserie-s-world @midnightsgetawaycar @goldylions @spacedoutdaydreamer @livslifeonline @mushroomelephant @hb8301 @ginnupp @saramelaniemoon @kaylshunter @nojamsonmytoast @vintagehellfire @esoltis280 @spikedhe4rt @let-love-bleeds-red @siriuslysmoking @toobsessedsstuff @alana4610 @gretavanfleas @sparkletash @aactuaaltraash @gloryekaterina @quixscentsposts @wormm-mom @eddiemuns0nl0ver @spookyemorockbabe

Everything Taglist: @bejeweledmastermind @matchamunson @bubsonnobx @practicalghost @katsukis1wife @crustyowos @yourfavdummy @protecteddiemunson4vr

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson #eddie x reader #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson stranger things #eddie stranger things #stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine

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d4niellez · 2 months

Text

think of me once in a while. | t. fushiguro

❦ warnings: minors and blank blogs do not interact, not canon, dark content, character death (reader), reader has unnamed illness, cuddling with a dead body, implication of unprotected sex, barely any dialogue

❦ a/n: i don’t usually write angsty things for personal reasons but it’s due time to try so i’m putting this man in a situation. if anything isn’t tagged right pls let me know <3

Toji thinks of two things as sits and watches the color from your face drain and your chest begin to still.

What he could’ve possibly done to lose another woman he loved, and how to move on with it again.

He wanders into the abyss of his mind. At first, it feels like trudging through a thick fog that slows him down as if his own brain is warning him to go back. Thoughts hazy and slow, not in a concise stream. He pushes on and eventually the haze clears. He remembers his first wife and how his heart turned to ice after she died. Then he remembers how you warmed it again, but now you’re gone too.

Toji shakes his head and swallows until the lump in his throat dissipates. He tries to think of normal things. What he’ll have for dinner, what to watch on tv tonight, if laundry needs to be done. He quickly finds that you’re still invading his mind. You should be there to help him cook, You should make him watch one of those stupid romcoms he abhors, and you would always know when laundry was needed.

He looks down at your face again and notices how even the dull colors around you are beginning to look brighter in comparison. Toji still watches you intensely, as if by some miracle he’ll see your chest begin to rise and fall and the color return to your skin again. After a minute when you’re still frozen, he covers your face with the sheet on the bed and steps outside. Not before squeezing your cold hand one last time.

The walk to the front door feels like an eternity and he doesn’t know if his mind is moving slowly or if it’s physically him. The walls of the hallway feel like they’re getting tighter, closing in on his broad shoulders. He closes his eyes and walks faster until he reaches the door, hastily pulling it open and letting go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

It sickens him to see the wilting red spider lilies creeping up from the garden. Almost like they were making a mockery of you by dying off too. He knows spider lily season ends when the summer does, but it still feels too personal in the moment. Toji has half a mind to walk to the garden and rip them out straight from the root, but he knows you’ll scold him, or you would have.

“Do you know why I keep those spider lilies out there?” He was never the kind to enjoy pillow talk, but he could listen to your voice for hours. Especially when your warm body clings to him and he can feel his cum running down the insides of your thighs.

“Those red things?”

“Yeah, those ones.” He nods and smiles down at you, lifting his arm up for you to shift your body from half way on top of him to all the way.

“Do you remember the day we met in June?”

How could he not? He remembered bumping into you on that excruciatingly hot day. He remembered the cream colored sundress you wore and how it seemed like your mouth ran a mile a minute talking about god knows what. Toji was honestly too busy taking in the features of your face and the curves of your body that were only illuminated by the blazing sun.

He doesn’t say any of that to you, though, he just nods again.

“I was looking for those spider lilies when we met. Even though they have a horrible connotation, I’ve always loved them.” You lay your head on his chest and he sees the corner of your lip turn up in a smile, he mirrors it.

“Anywho, after we went our separate ways, I started to see them. Not immediately, but randomly. In sidewalk corners, flower boxes, just unusual places. Do you know what that usually means?”

“Beats me.” You laugh and it’s music to his ears.

“It usually means we’ll never cross paths again, but I didn’t want that. I wanted to see you again. You were cold, but intriguing. The muscles helped too.” It’s his turn to laugh and he subconsciously flexes the peck your head rests on.

“So what’d you do?”

“I’m so very glad you asked. I started collecting them whenever I saw them, and soon enough I had a beautiful bunch of seven, a lucky number. Do you remember when we saw each other again?”

He nods and smiles, catching on. “July 7.”

“That’s right! So in some way I believe that those lilies wanted to bring us back together instead of keeping us apart. That’s why I collect and grow them annually in summer, as a reminder.” The enthusiasm in your voice begins to waiver and your body begins to relax into him more. He runs a hand up and down your spine and watches the goosebumps rise on your skin.

“What do you think about that, Toji?” There’s a million different complex words he could use to describe the bliss your sleepy form brings to him, even more to describe the story you just told, but he settles on simplicity instead.

“I think it’s beautiful, just like you.”

He feels you smile against his skin before you finally drift off.

Toji feels a warmth sensation begin to fall down his cheek. He’s crying. For the first time in a long time, he’s crying. His hands are shaking and he feels the awful ache crawl back into his throat before he finally lets himself succumb to his emotions. He rests his head in his hands and lets the tears slide down his face and form small droplets in the soil beneath him.

He doesn’t know how long he sits like that. He does know that his head is starting to feel to heavy for his hands and it makes him feel like a child again. He also knows that he’s starting to shiver from the breeze.

Toji picks his tear-stained face up to look at the sky. The sun is shining, but the warmth doesn’t reach him. Like he’s been punished to just look instead of touching. He begins to wonder if he even deserves to feel the warmth of anything. Maybe he’s the common denominator as to why he lost two women to death. Maybe he’s cursed and anyone who gets close pays the price.

He soon realizes that his eyes have moved from the sky and were staring at the red lilies again. Focusing on the wilting tendrils on the flower for so long that he can no longer see the shape and just see red. The same shade as the lipstick you used to wear.

Toji’s mind bounces around again. Traversing deeper into the void that is his inner thoughts and he soon notices that he’s not staring at the lilies anymore, but past them into the similar void of the garden. He could just up and leave. Abandon the house with you in it and start over again like he’d done before. It was the easy way out, and Toji was used to taking the easy way out.

It makes him wonder even more if he really is a bad guy. If everything was just a facade that even he had tricked himself into believing. He’d fallen back into old ways with his first wife, he’s bound to do it again with you. Bound to once again become the cold man he tried to change now that no one is here to hold him down to earth. Maybe he doesn’t have a curse, perhaps it was just him all along.

The chill in the air still feels like it’s deep in his bones. Penetrating his skin to keep him in a perpetually shivering state. He knew the summer was ending and the cold was starting to push its way in like an invasion, but he swears it was still warm yesterday. Even though his finger tips were beginning to ache and turn red, he still refused to put on more layers. Instead he opted to sit in the cold until his extremities began to feel all the way numb. A punishment to himself.

He does eventually push his body to head back inside, but he finds that the house is still just as cold without you. His feet pull him in the direction of the kitchen for some water and it’s there he notices that the dishes have piled up and there’s no cups for him to use. It was usually you that washed the dishes, but your illness slowly stripped that away from you. Toji suddenly felt the urge to vomit and cry again at the same time before he pulled himself out of the kitchen again and decided to do the dreaded task of calling in the death.

He’s been through these steps before. Holding the phone do his ear and he taps the knuckles of his free hand on the table below. Answering there mundane questions as quickly as possible before hanging up and feeling the sense of dread begin to creep up his spine again. For the first time in his life, he feels genuinely lost. Unsure of his next steps even though he has a million different ideas cycling in his mind like a carousel stuck to turn eternally. The thoughts continue to spin in his head as he walks back into your shared bedroom and stares at the sheet that your body lies under.

He circles the bed and slowly climbs into his side, careful to not disturb your body. Just like how he’d do when he came home late and you were sleeping. Though you’d always wake up no matter how meticulously he climbed in, now it pains him to see you not even stir.

Your back is facing him and he can still see the curve of your waist under the thin sheet. His hand reaches out the gently feel, fingers just ghosting the fabric, but he can still feel you. Even though your body is now freezing and beginning to stiffen. His face softens for the first time since you’ve officially passed, and he finally gets an idea of how to continue on without you.

He’ll take it slow, one day at a time. Living his life for you to not let his heart freeze over again. Though for now, he rests his head beside yours and finally closes his eyes. For even though the summer is over and your body’s cold, it still feels like home.

#divider by hitobaby #tw dark content #tw death #toji fushiguro #toji fushiguro x reader #toji x reader #jjk toji #toji x you #toji x y/n #toji fushiguro x you #toji fushiguro x y/n #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jjk x you

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railroad-migraine · 10 months

Note

In honour of Legend of Vox Machina coming out, can we have a Percy x (fem/gender neutral) reader with the prompt "You feel like home to me." Maybe reader also lost their home (or they were from Whitestone too)

'Welcome Home'

-> Percy x GN!Reader

Notes: Angst and fluff, hurt comfort. I started writing this piece in January 2022. As of June 2023, I have now watched TLOVM. Sorry it took a while Anon, but I wanted to save your lovely request for when I eventually got into Vox Machina 💙 Can be read as platonic or romantic

~ Poet

*****

It wasn't meant to be like this.

Things had not gone to plan. What was the plan, you say? That is debatable depending on who you'd ask.

To start, Vax was unfortunately spotted skulking around the enemy's camp. That then lead to small confrontation, one that he'd be fine to handle all by himself, one where he was suspiciously poked and prodded at innocently, but Keyleth instinctually stepped in to save him - thus getting the whole party involved and quickly overwhelmed. It was manageable until the exact moment where Grog lopped off the head of one of the bandits.

To put it simply, all hell broke loose and it all went to shit.

However, in the end, when the bandits lay dead and smloldering by the campfire, it was a victory for Vox Machina.

A victory, maybe. But not quite a win.

Wounds were in need of tending to, and Pike was far too exhausted to treat everyone. Camping in the woods did not seem to be the best option, the trees offering little cover, and neither did the cliff face nearby. Frustrated, tired, hungry - voices raising at each other prickled the hairs at the back of your neck and you knew you had to step up. To be the adult.

"There is a village," you start, but no one chooses to listen, your voice just another one in the argument.

"There is a village," you repeat, a little more firm and insistant, and the others begin to withdraw, eyes falling onto you, "not far from here. I- I didn't mention it before because it doesn't belong on the map. Not anymore, at least.

"We can go there, set up camp, sit down and just shut up for a few hours," you sigh.

Most of the party look hesitant but Scanlan raises a brow and shrugs with an easy nonchalance that you envy. "If you say it's safe, I'm down."

It wasn't meant to be like this.

"It is." You hope. "I promise.

Percy watches you carefully, the fading light of the Sun behind him casting shadows on his face, sharpens his already sharp jawline even further until it cuts into his coat's collar. Something dangerous in his expression. "Lead on, then," but he doesn't sound convinced.

And so you lead your friends to the home and earth that once nurtured your childhood, the very same that you abandoned all those years ago in favour of adventure.

You were still young. Like a child, scarrless, soft, green and new to the greater world that waited for you beyond your doorstep.

It wasn't meant to be like this, you think as you fall to your knees, taking in the grim sight before you. It's hard to tell what exactly happened, whether the homes had been raided and intentionally burned down, or if it had been a simple accident and the townspeople luckily fled somewhere safe.

How long had it been since you left home? What seemed like yesterday were many, many months for your people, and anything can happen in that time apart.

But you never expected to be returning home to a graveyard.

It wasn't meant to be like this.

"I'm sorry."

You sniffle and quickly wipe your nose with the sleeve of your shirt, choking back a bitter laugh. "Percy." He pulls his mouth into a straight line, a grimace of sorts. "You can be a thorn in my side at times, but why should you be sorry?"

He shifts his weight on his feet. "Because... because it's what people might have said to me when I was in a similar state. I'm not sure if it would ever have made me feel better, but I suppose it shows some level of... respect. Condolences. Comfort, sometimes. Or so I've heard."

He pulls his coat tighter around his torso, the bite in the air unforgiving even as you mourn for your childhood home while your knees press into dirt. You risk a glance up at his face, and his forlorn expression shatters your already broken heart. He feigns a weak smile, and ducks his chin in sympathy. "It's not for everyone, I suppose."

It's a cold comfort as your grip on the ashes of your home loosens, and slips through your fingers, like sand lost in the wind.

Percy says your name, clear and grounding, and you manage to tear your gaze from what's left of your history. "Look at me." You crane your neck to look to where he looms over your hunched form. "Home is a feeling... I know that more than anybody."

Slowly, so slowly and gentle as if caught in slow motion, he crouches down to meet your height. He appraises you for a hesitant moment, then reaches out to wipe a tear that trails down your cheek, one that you had accidentally neglected. It smears across your skin smoothly, leaving a clean line in the thin layer of dust you had acquired since the battle and trek over here.

He looks at you softly, and you nearly sob from the incredible amount of emotions you feel all at once. You grip his hand like a lifeline and press it into your face so that you can lean into the comfort he's providing, and a shudder washes over you at the warmth radiating from his glove.

Percy nudges your chin up with his free hand, and you have no choice but to meet his watery eyes.

"And you feel like home to me."

In that moment, you know you feel the same for him.

*****

[posts this and RUNS]

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moonsgemini · 9 months

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american heartbreak - ii

summary: a big win and one too many tequila sunrises could be just the right push to idiots in love needed, or could possibly create more self doubt.

warnings: cowboy!rafe x oc, fem reader, drinking, bull riding ?, vomit, cussing, mutual pining, ward being ward, excessive use of nicknames (sorry?), cowboy!rafe (yes it needs a warning)

wc: 4.8k

an: I know nothing about bull riding so please bare with me lmao I researched as best as I could. This took soooo long but I did it! I love where this series is going & I hope you guys do too. Next series to be updated is seeking arrangments <3

series master list - previous part

June looked herself over in her mirror brushing her hands over her dress. In her usual sundress and boots she let out a satisfied sigh and grabbed her big denim jacket. She was hoping to catch Rafe’s attention tonight, maybe he would want to spend time with her. Instead one of the girls he always ended up having hanging off his every word.

“James is here Juney!” Amber shouted from the bottom of the stairs. Her boyfriend was going to give the two a ride tonight.

“Coming!” She replied. She grabbed her bag and headed downstairs to meet the couple.

“Hey James,” She said and smiled at the dark haired man.

He nodded at her, “Hey June Summers.” James always said her full name for some reason. June never questioned it. Amber came out from the kitchen and grabbed James’ hand.

June followed behind them. She always felt like they were her parents when it was just the three of them, “We better hurry because June’s gotta help with the raffle tickets. Oh and she needs some time to stare at Rafe,” Amber smirked looking back at the girl who was locking the front door.

“Hey!” June scolded as she turned around quickly.

James laughed and said, “Don’t act like it’s a secret that you’re crazy for him.” He opened the truck door for his girlfriend before she climbed in.

June rolled her eyes opening her door, “I’m not crazy about him! I just have a small crush on him. Just like a school girl crush.”

“Oh please you’ve had a school girl crush on him since you were literally a school girl.” Amber laughed.

“Can we talk about something else please,” June said with a huff, no longer wanting to be ridiculed for her crush.

“You’re coming to Rooster’s right June?” James asked as he drove to the rodeo.

June shrugged, “Yeah I guess so. I don’t want to miss out on another night of Amber falling off the mechanical bull.”

Amber laughed at the memory, “I will be that damn bull one day,” she turned to James, “she’s also going because Rafe explicitly asked if she was going.”

“I’m gonna jump out of this truck right now.”

After they arrived James walked them over to where the riders were. He was going to meet Rafe to make sure everything was good to go before his first ride. There was still over an hour before it was supposed to start so June had some time to be with Amber before helping Mrs.Mayfield. She shivered lightly at the cool autumn breeze and also because of her nerves. She was nervous to see Rafe, he always made her a clammy mumbling mess.

Amber was walking with her going off about a girl they went to high school with’s pregnancy announcement. Amber always knew all the gossip and she always passed the information along. June laughed at something Amber said closing her eyes for a split second, but with her clumsiness she tripped over a rock. Her heart dropped as she felt herself go forward but she never hit the ground. A pair of arms held onto her waist firmly keeping her in place. She gasped and looked up at whose arms they were and of course it was Rafe. Her knight in shining armor.

“June bug gotta watch where you’re goin’,” Rafe gave her a lopsided smile as she regained her composure.

She felt hot all over as she stood up straight and took a small step back. Being too close to him was making her dizzy. She cleared her throat, “Well the rock should watch where it’s going.”

She cringed internally at her failed attempt to be witty. His smile turned into a full one as he chuckled, she was thinking that he either agreed she was cringey or maybe thought she was funny. Either way she still felt hot from embarrassment.

“Rafe and I have some prepping to do so we better get a move on,” James said as he walked over to Amber and gave her a hug and a kiss. June had almost forgotten that the couple was there. She watched with admiration, she liked Amber and James together. Mostly because he made her best friend the happiest she’d ever seen her.

While James and Amber were being lovey dovey Rafe had stepped to stand beside June. He leaned down and nudged her shoulder with his, “Am I seein you tonight? After?”

She looked over at him with a shy grin not wanting to show how on the inside she was screaming that he had asked her again about after the rodeo, “Only cause you’ve been askin so nicely.”

Rafe wanted to eat her up. She had no idea of the affect she had on him. He had always harbored a crush on her, ever since he was nine years old. His sister had met her when he was in fourth grade and they were in second grade. Sarah had dragged a girl behind her as she ran towards Rafe and their mom waiting in the pick up area of school. Once he laid eyes on her he couldn’t hear anything Sarah was saying. All he could do was stare at her pretty face.

June started coming over to Rafe’s house and his preteen brain couldn’t handle it. He swears that he stopped finding girls gross when he saw June for the first time. He always kept his distance from her because she was Sarah’s friend. Once he got to high school he had become somewhat of a Casanova since his bull riding career had begun to take off the girls started to pay more attention to him. June never really showed that she liked him as more than a friend so he started dating other girls. He was blind to the way her smile got weaker when she’d see him out with a girl. He couldn’t tell that she always held back tears whenever she’d go to their house and he’d be leaving with a bouquet of flowers in hand for his date that he was late to pick up because he was waiting to run into June to see her.

He always felt like she was too good for him. Too pure for someone like him. Of course he made flirtatious comments towards her and was always a gentleman. Helping her unload new flower pot shipments if he happened to walk in after a delivery. Rafe held doors open for her, always walked her to her car when she’d leave the Cameron house late. He wanted to at least show her that he was always there if she needed him.

June simply thought Rafe was an extreme gentleman and incredibly charming towards everyone in the way he was with her. She learned not to get her hopes up when she kept seeing him with a new girl every week. It was just how Rafe was, she wasn’t any different to him.

“I’m honored,” He smirked.

The couple had finished their goodbyes and walked up to them. Amber wrapped her arm around June’s shoulders, “Rafe your girl has to go help Mrs.Mayfield.”

“Make sure you’re watching when I’m out there,” Rafe pointed at June as him and James began to walk away. She nodded and gave him a small wave as he left. That incredibly charming smile never leaving his face.

“That boy is so smitten,” Amber laughed throwing her head back.

June rolled her eyes, “He’s like this with everyone.”

“Whatever you say honey,” Amber patted her back. They reached the booth where Mrs.Mayfield was setting up the tickets and the cash box.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite flower girls,” The older woman beamed at the girls. She was a sweet lady who everyone in town knew. She was in charge or everything. If there was a community event Martha Mayfield was most likely organizing it.

June hugged the woman, “Mrs.Mayfield you look as beautiful as ever.”

“You’re too good to me dear,” She turned towards the red head next to June, “Now Miss Amber I still do not see a ring on that finger.”

Amber sighed dramatically walking over to the woman, “Soon I hope, please talk some sense into that boy next time he delivers your eggs.”

“I always do honey,” She patted her cheek gently, “Now lets sell some tickets and make some money for the dance.” She clapped her hands and went behind the booth where June had started to help her.

Rafe sighed as he listened to his dad try and coach him. Ward was hard on Rafe, he always passed it on as him caring so much about his son. Rafe knew that his dad just wanted bigger trophies and bigger checks. He couldn’t hate the guy because he had given Rafe so much and pushed him hard to be the best. Frankly it worked and Rafe became the best.

It’s why now he was really getting a coaching lesson because tonight was either all or nothing. If Rafe got first place he’d move on to the semi finals. Of course he wanted to win the championship but making it to the semis of the southern eastern bull riding championship (SEBRC) would bring him a lot of attention. He’d be closer to going pro. Rafe was already being watched by a lot of sponsors and recruits but a win would prove just how good he is.

“Whatever you do Rafe do not let go,” Ward looked at him intensely, “And do not let your hand fall. You have to use everything in you son.”

“Dad I got this okay? Trust me I can do this,” He nodded his head, “I will do it.”

“Alright lets get out there it’s almost time.” Ward patted his son on the shoulder as he led him out of the stables where they had been talking.

They walked back over to where his team was watching the current rider. Rafe put his hands on James shoulders startling him.

“Holy shit dude,” He gasped.

“Lets get ready,” They walked over to the bull pen.

James looked over at his best friend, “is tonight the night?”

“What, the night I win?” Rafe smirked.

“No idiot, the night you finally ask her out or do something.”

He shrugged, “I’ve got something in mind.”

“Just don’t let those buckle bunnies near you of else she’s gonna keep thinkin you don’t see her that way.”

After all the raffle tickets had been sold June joined Amber and Sarah in the stands. They were sitting with Amber’s parents and a few of their other friends. June sat next to Sarah who was texting intently on her phone.

“Is it John B?” June asked her.

Sarah huffed, “Yeah he thinks he might not be able to drive here next weekend because his van keeps breaking down.”

“I’m sure he’ll figure something out,” She smiled.

“Last but certainly not least is the guy everyone has their eyes on, home town hero Rafe Cameron!” The announcer shouted over the speakers.

Everyone cheered and clapped for Rafe. June felt a pit of nervousness in her stomach. She always worried about him when he rode because anything could happen. She was confident in his abilities but bulls are unpredictable animals.

“This always feels like the longest ten seconds of my life,” Sarah muttered leaning forward in an anxious stance.

“He’ll be okay, he always is okay.” June reassured placing her hands over Sarah’s that had been picking at her cuticles anxiously. She didn’t just say it for her best friend but also for herself.

“He has to beat 6.76 seconds and get more than 88 points to move on,” Amber leaned forward telling the girls.

The blow horn sounded and they lifted the gates. Everything always happened in slow motion. The bull bucked and thrashed around as Rafe held on tight to the rope. His arm steady in the air never faltering. He needed to stay on for three more seconds and he’d most likely win. The clock ticked 6, 7, 8. Then Rafe was finally bucked off, he flew off of the large brown bull landing almost under its heavy hooves. Everyone held their breath as they waited for him to get up. He stood up grabbing his hat swinging it in the air and yelling with excitement as the crowd started cheering. He had stayed on for 8.96 seconds, the best score of the whole night.

June stood up along with everyone else clapping and cheering for the cowboy. Rafe looked out into the crowd with a big smile on his face trying to catch his breath. It was like he knew where she was because his eyes landed on her immediately. He couldn’t hear the crowd cheering anymore he could just see her as she smiled widely and clapped. He would ride a million bulls over and over again if it meant she’d be there cheering him on.

He walked back to his team who was patting him on the back. James came up to him and hugged him with a big smile, “Man you’re a monster, you’re in this fuckin thing. You’ve made it.”

“We’re in this thing. I couldn’t have done this without you man,” Rafe was grateful for his best friend who had become more like his brother. James placed a hand on Rafe’s head ruffling his hear out of endearment.

“Judges have their final scores in,” Ward said walking up to the two men. Ward never really congratulated his son on his achievements, all the more reason why he was grateful for James.

They climbed on the gates to watch the score board. Rafe placed his hat back on his head. He looked back over the the bleachers looking at June again. She was talking to Sarah her eyes going back and forth from the score board to her best friend. As long as she was here Rafe knew everything would be okay if he didn’t score as good as he wanted. Whenever he looked at her the trophies, money, and title’s didn’t matter.

“The judges have their final score for Rafe Cameron, and are we surprised? The 22 year old bull ride comes in with a score of 94!” The announcer says before the crowd goes wild, “Ladies and gentlemen we have our first place winner! Rafe Cameron is headed off to the semi finals!”

James whooped in excitement and wrapped his arm around Rafe. They climbed down from the fence as people came up to Rafe to congratulate him. The other winners were announced but Rafe didn’t care he was riding an unbelievable high.

The girls had practically ran down the bleachers to go find Rafe. Sarah was beyond excited for her brother, all of his hard work was paying off. Once they got to where the team was they saw them hand Rafe a bottle of champagne.

“Rafe! You did it!” Sarah shouted as she ran up to hug her brother, “Mom is so proud.” Rafe nodded his head feeling a bit emotional wishing his mom could be there to witness his success.

“Congrats Rafe,” Amber hugged him next.

“Couldn’t have done it without your man,” He said pulling away and pointing at James.

June wasn’t sure if she should hug him or not. She always got anxious in these situations, wishing she was like those girls that had confidence. Rafe looked over at her as she shyly watched him.

He knew her better than she knew herself so he walked up to her, “Guess you gotta come out now.” He smirked.

“I guess I do,” She shrugged, “Congratulations Rafe. You’re gonna do incredible things.”

Rafe’s heart burst at her words. He reached forward and hugged her. She immediately reciprocated wrapping her arms around him. They pulled away and looked at each other for a few seconds. Their friends around them never interrupting because they knew.

“Champagne anyone?” Rafe said turning to all of them. He shook the bottle before popping the cork and spraying it everywhere.

“Rafe!” Sarah laughed covering her face.

“To Roosters we go!” James said pointing up.

June and Sarah interlocked arms as they walked behind James and Amber. Rooster’s was packed as well as the other bars on main street. June sometimes worried that their flower shop a few blocks down would get damaged by a bunch of drunks but they’ve never had any actual problems. Rafe was coming by later after he took care of some things at the rodeo.

“Are you drinking tonight Junie?” Sarah nudged her.

She nodded her head, “I actually am. I just want to have some confidence tonight, not be in the background like always.”

“Tonight is going to be so fun. You’re never in the background babe,” Sarah reassured her as they walked through the bar doors.

It wasn’t too crowded yet as people were still leaving the rodeo. Someone was already riding the mechanical bull and country music was already blasting through the speakers. They went up to the bar where their favorite bartender Sam was.

“My favorite people!” He said wiping his hands on a towel, “What can I get you guys?”

“Jameson and coke for me and three tequila sunrises,” James said knowing the girl’s orders.

“What a gentleman James,” Sarah said.

“Hey first round is on me guys. Gotta treat the champions’ people right,” Sam winked at them.

“Sammy boy you’re too kind,” James said sliding him a twenty as a tip.

Once they got their drinks they found a couple unoccupied tables by the pool tables. They pushed them together before sitting down with their drinks. June’s leg anxiously bounced as she waited for Rafe. Her eyes moving around the room as she looked at everyone. She felt like there were too many pretty girls here for Rafe to even give her an ounce of his attention. The confidence she had was slowly diminishing as the seconds passed.

Her thoughts were interrupted by loud cheering, she looked behind her towards the door. Rafe had walked in changed into a white tee shirt and open flannel with a brown jacket. His riding boots traded out for his nicer ones, black hat still perched on his head. She felt light headed, the half of the tequila sunrise she had drank already getting to her. When his eyes met hers she looked away nervously trying to focus on anything else in the room. Her focus landed on all the women ogling him and sending him flirtatious smiles.

He walked up to the group standing beside June, “Started without me guys?”

“Get your drink so we can celebrate now,” James nodded his head towards the bar.

“June bug will you come with me?” Rafe asked turning towards the girl who had yet to make eye contact with him again.

She looked up her face getting hot, “Sure.”

They walked over to the bar and Sam immediately took Rafe’s order. June placed her hands on the bar her eyes looking anywhere but Rafe. The liquor bottles behind the bar were really fascinating.

“How did selling the raffle tickets go June bug?” Rafe asked trying to make conversation.

She turned to him trying to set her nerves aside, “It went well, definitely got some money for the community.”

“That’s good,” He smiled, “how’s the flower business going darlin?”

She laughed softly, “Uh it’s actually going really good. Even with the weather gettin colder sales are still good. We even have a huge wedding coming up that’s going to be beautiful and so great for business. They ordered tons of bouquets with the most amazing colors,” she rambled on about her work. June was very patient about flowers, she loved how something from the earth could make someone feel so happy, loved, cared about, and seen.

Sam brought over his drink telling him that it was on him. Rafe nodded his head at him before taking a sip, “You know I love when you talk flowers,” he smiled at her.

Her eyes widened slightly, “You do?”

He nodded, “Of course, your eyes light up and you’re just so passionate. It’s attractive sweetheart.”

June’s skin was going to melt off if she felt herself getting any hotter, “You’re too ki-“

“Rafe!” A high pitched voice interrupted. Both Rafe and June turned towards the noise.

“Oh hey Rachel,” Rafe said trying to be polite. Rachel was one of Rafe’s endeavors that he returned to a few times too many. Now she thought that her and Rafe could be something more when he never promised her anything.

“You were amazing tonight. You’re sooo talented,” She twirled her blonde hair paying no attention to June.

“Thanks, um this is June,” He nodded towards the girl he really wanted to be alone with.

The blonde turned her attention towards her a small furrow in her brows, “Oh hi, how do you two know each other.” Rafe knew that Rachel was trying to figure out if June was hooking up with him.

“I’m friends with Sarah so we kind of grew up together,” June said feeling a spark of jealousy in herself.

“Cute,” Rachel said tilting her head a teasing smile on her lips. She turned to Rafe again putting a hand on his arm, “Rafe come sit with us I’d love to congratulate you on your big win.”

Rafe didn’t really want to deal with Rachel and her friends at the moment. He had someone else he wanted to focus on. He turned to where June was and found her spot empty. He looked around the room and found her walking back to the table. He sighed, “Actually I’m gonna hangout with my friends tonight,” he tipped his hat at her and walked back over to where they were all sat.

Sarah glared at him, “Rachel again? Seriously?”

Rafe rolled his eyes as he sat next to June, “Actually no.”

June felt like maybe it was because of her that he didn’t hangout with her. Or maybe he just wanted to be with his friends. Either way she was glad that Rafe was sitting next to her.

After a lot of laughing and three more drinks June was definitely drunk. She had been laughing at something one of their friends, Stevie, had said when Rafe started to notice just how drunk she was. He had never seen her be so social and he liked it but he was also worried because he’d never seen her drink this much.

“James and I are gonna head out. We’ve got the farmer’s market tomorrow Junie,” Amber said placing a hand on her friends back.

“Oooo can you guys drop me off please?” Sarah asked with a slight slur.

Amber wrapped an arm around her shoulder, “well of course dear.”

June’s eyes widened at the mention of the market, “Oh nooo the farmer’s market, I forgot about that,” she put her head down on the table starting to regret that last shot she took with Sarah, “I’m gonna be so hungover.”

“Come on babe we’ll take you home,” Amber said patting her head.

She sat up and looked over at Rafe with a pout, “I don’t wanna go home yet.”

He gave her a small smile and brushed some hair out of her face, “I can take you home in a bit bug, I only had a couple beers.”

She smiled widely and quickly turned back to Amber, “Rafe is taking me home,” Her smile never faltering.

“Okay babes,” She laughed knowing her friend wanted more time with the guy she’s been in love with since they were 7, “Rafe please get her home safe.” She pointed at him with a stern look.

“Yes ma’am,” He said tipping his hat at her bidding the trio good bye.

The other guys that had been with them had joined a group of women at the dart boards working moved on them trying to teach them how to play. June looked around the room at all the people having fun and drinking. They all seemed so care free, like they did this all the time. She wished she could be this fun all the time, then maybe Rafe would like her.

“Rafey I wish I could be this fun all the time,” She pouted looking over at him.

Rafey. She hadn’t called him that since they were kids. He didn’t realized he missed hearing her saying it until his body felt tingly all over. It rolled so smoothly off her lips like only she could say it because she was the only one who made it sound good.

“Sweetheart you are fun all the time,” He reached forward and brushed her hair back again. Admiring her pretty face.

She leaned her head against his hand enjoying the warmth they brought, “mmm then why don’t you see me more.”

“I’d see you every day if I could bug. I’m gonna make more time for my girl,” He smiled lovingly at her. He really hoped she’d remember this tomorrow.

She looked at him with tears in her eyes a dopey smile on her lips. Before she could say anything she felt her stomach turn. The tequila was catching up to her now. June sat up straighter with wide eyes. That’s when she felt everything coming up. She slapped her hand over her mouth and as best as she could in her drunken state she ran out of the bar doors.

Rafe wasn’t far behind her as she turned the corner to puke on the side of the bar. The contents of her stomach spilling all over the dirt, some of it getting on her favorite pair of boots. Rafe stood behind her holding her hair up and patting her back. He made a mental note that three drinks was the cut off for you.

“Oh god this is so embarrassing,” She sniffled once she was done. She was a lot more sober now and definitely wishing she could get swallowed by the earth. Rafe Cameron just saw her puke her guts out. The guy she’s been in love with forever.

“No no it’s okay June,” He held her hands, “let’s get you home okay? You’ll feel a lot better once you’re in bed.”

She frowned as she walked with him to his truck, “You probably think I’m so gross.”

“I could never. You’re always an angel to me,” He opened the door for her and helped her in.

She had no words. June felt like she didn’t deserve Rafe, he was always so kind and never judged her. The world was lucky to have him. He jogged over to the drivers side and got in. The drive to June’s house was quiet except the rock music that was softly playing from the radio. It was a nice silence.

Once they arrived to June’s house Rafe opened the door for her. Holding her hand as she climbed down. He placed a hand on the small of her back leading her up the porch stairs to the front door. She pulled out her keys and unlocked the door.

She didn’t go inside yet she turned to Rafe looking down at the ground not really wanting to meet his eyes. She was still feeling ashamed from the parking lot fiasco, “Thank you for driving me home Rafe.”

“Anytime, you good to go up on your own?” He asked wanting to make sure she makes it up the stairs and into bed.

She nodded her head finally looking up at him, “I’m a bit sober now so I’m good. Thank you,” she gave him a shy smile. The liquid courage was definitely leaving her system.

“Call me if you need anything at anytime, okay? I’ll be there,” he reached for her hand giving it a small squeeze, “I’ll see you tomorrow June bug.” He leaned forward and pressed a small kiss to her cheek.

Her eyes widened in shock, maybe she was drunk? He pulled away and started walking down the porch steps. Once he got to the bottom he turned towards her with a small smirk, “I’m not leaving till you go in darlin.”

She cleared her throat and blinked a few times before turned the door knob, “Right uh good night Rafe.” She waved stepping into the house.

After locking the door behind her she leaned against it with a sigh. June listened as Rafe drove away already missing him. He was so sweet to her that night. She wanted to think it was because things were changing between them, what if he does see her in a different way.

As soon as those thoughts entered her mind they left. Who was she kidding? Rafe could have anyone why would he choose me? she thought to herself as she walked upstairs to her room. She decided that if this was just Rafe being kind then she’d savor it and enjoy it before he finds someone who actually interests him.

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maxbegone · 8 months

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wip wednesday aka i can't believe i'm actually writing again

working on a thing affectionately titled "rwrb fic or something." i hope you enjoy.

They’re on the road by one, and a little over an hour later, Alex is walking through Austin with Henry at his side. Henry’s in Alex’s Stetson, which, Alex says, is the hottest he’s ever seen him. He notes that he has to get him his own one of these days. At this point, it’s a necessity.

They make a beeline for Franklin Barbecue with one of each of their respective security teams in line with them, and Alex is nearly vibrating out of his skin as he talks about the first time he came here with his family when his mom was in the state legislature and held a fundraising event. He and June both fell asleep in the car on the way home, exhausted from the excitement and the brisket and the pulled pork. They each had to be carried inside.

“I swear I smell this place in my dreams.”

It takes a while, but it’s worth it, just like Alex expected it to be. His fingers are covered in grease and sauce, and there’s a solid mountain of thin paper napkins on the table along with several wipe packs torn open, but none of it stops him from using the heels of his hands to grab Henry’s face and kiss his own sauce-covered lips.

“No, this is the hottest I’ve ever seen you,” he announces into the little space between them.

Henry, whose hands are similar to Alex’s but suspended in mid-air, laughs. “I feel like I need a shower.”

“That can be arranged.” And, because he’s a menace to society, Alex doesn’t break eye contact as he sticks his thumb in his mouth and sucks off the excess sauce.

Henry drops his head, shaking it back and forth. “Oh, that’s not fair.”

“You can be a little messy, Your Majesty, no one gives a shit.”

“You’re a horrible influence on me.”

“You say horrible, I hear wonderful.” Alex goes to do it again, but is stopped this time by the way Henry is batting his hand away and kissing him.

Then he’s saying, “Show me messy,” in a low, sultry voice and Alex immediately makes them wrap up and get out of there.

They end up in a random bar, one that’s starting to get busy now that it’s early evening, and he drags Henry straight to the bathroom which, miraculously, turns out to be a single-person accommodation. Even if it wasn’t, Alex knows Cash is stationed a few feet away outside.

If Henry wants to see messy, then Alex will gladly show him messy. He drops to his knees with a wink, undoing his belt and turning his baseball hat around so the brim isn’t in the way. Thus marks the first Texas dive bar-based blowjob Henry’s received, cheeks flushed a beautiful shade of red and chest heaving.

“Fuck,” Alex hears above him. “I—fuck.”

“Such a way with words, sweetheart.” He stands, giving Henry a proper kiss.

“Why was that so…so mind blowing?” Henry asks. He’s still moderately panting.

Alex leans back against the sink, arms out. “It’s Texas, baby!”

Apparently that’s enough of an answer for Henry, who weakly pushes off the wall that’s covered in stickers and silver Sharpie profanity, slamming into him. He wouldn’t be surprised if his lips were a little bruised later on tonight, but he doesn’t care. Not when Henry’s on him like this.

They go at it until there’s a knock on the door and Cash’s voice carries through, saying, “You got a line forming,” forcing them to make themselves look presentable.

Alex laughs. “Shit.”

“How about you buy me a beer and show me how to line dance?” Henry suggests as they exit, his fingers hooked into one of Alex’s belt loops to keep him close. They’re met with a mostly unfazed short line of bar-goers and Cash.

“I swear if I wasn’t so fucking love with you already,” Alex trails off, guiding Henry toward an already-forming crowd.

It’s ridiculous and lovely in every single way; Henry misses the mark several times, bumps into Alex nearly every other step, barely catching himself in the process. By the time he does get the hang of it, there’s an older woman in a frilly dress and brick red lipstick grabbing Henry by the hand and spinning him around. There’s a permanent smile plastered to his face, and as Alex takes a quick breather and watches as the woman pats Henry’s left leg as a way of telling him to move it back and follow her lead, he finds himself putting this whole day on the list of his favorites when it comes to that man.

The thing is, Texas looks good on Henry; he’s already sunkissed from just two days at the lake, but it’s not only that. He’s more carefree here, more himself. Alex knows not everyone is going to recognize Henry, even if Alex’s own mother is the President and just last year he, a native Texan, was involved in an international scandal with that very Prince of England. But either that doesn’t matter or at the moment, the universe doesn’t care, because Henry is laughing and likely talking freely with more strangers now than he ever has in his life.

Henry can be shy and reserved, a natural introvert from years of Royal protocol, while Alex has a caffeine addiction and is always running a mile a minute. If given the opportunity, they’ll both have their noses in some sort of book or, if prompted, can wax poetic about their greatest passions. They’re two very different external personalities, but so similar deep down. They meld so well. If Henry’s the glue that keeps Alex from truly falling apart on his worst days, he only hopes he can be the same.

Alex is pulled out of his thoughts by Henry himself walking over with outstretched hands, a little breathless.

“Rhoda has demanded I make you join us,” he says cheerily, lacing their fingers together.

“Is she your new dance teacher?” Alex teases, watching as Henry rolls his eyes.

“Yes, she’s much better than you. Now, come on, before the song ends.”

#yeah have the new yorker write vaguely about texas that should work #rwrb #rwrb fic #firstprince #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #wip wednesday

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wyattjohnston · 1 year

Text

looks a lot like forever - erik johnson

series: only all the time

word count: 1,655

note: for the anon who asked for gwen/erik domestic fluff! i hope this is what you were after :)

Gwen was on cloud nine when she arrived home, not even bothered that she struggled through the door hindered by shopping bags up to her elbows. They were her shopping bags, though, so complaining would be hypocritical.

Despite Erik’s car being in the garage, the house was dark and silent. Gwen headed straight towards their bedroom, knowing that she’d find him either in the shower or passed out on the bed. She got her answer when she heard the water running in the bathroom.

She dropped her bags on the bed, starting to empty them out and put away her new wardrobe while she waited for him to appear—and he did so about ten minutes later laughing at the bags littering the floor.

“Successful day?” he asked, walking towards her with just a towel around his waist.

Knowing that he wasn’t just making fun of her shopping spree, Gwen let a smile take over her face, “Yeah, I think I’ve found The One.”

She had gone full steam ahead with wedding planning; picking and asking her bridesmaids before the month of June was over and starting her search for The Perfect Dress as soon as they were settled back in Colorado; she’d seen too many brides take months to find their dress and she didn’t want to leave it too close to the wedding.

“Can I see it?”

Gwen hummed, wrapping her arms around his waist, her fingers disappearing below the top of the towel, and tilting her head up to silently ask for a kiss. Erik obliged without hesitation.

When Gwen pulled back, she smiled sweetly and said simply, “No.”

She patted his bare chest and moved to step away completely, only for Erik to catch her by the waist and pull her back in. His speed and his strength never ceased to amaze her, and, even though she rolled her eyes playfully, she let it happen.

“No?” he asked, the pout on his face small but present.

“It’s bad luck. You know that. Besides, it still needs to be altered and will need to be altered closer to the wedding. In the photo it’s pegged together at my back.”

“You know it’s The One, though?”

“Mel cried,” Gwen admitted, somewhat deliriously. “She hasn’t cried about any other dress.”

Erik laughed, “I’m a fucking goner then, aren’t I?”

Despite not being able to attend Mel and Gabe’s wedding, Gwen had been slated for a bridesmaid spot and thus had been present for all the activities being a bridesmaid entailed—including the dress shopping. Gwen had cried the second she saw Mel in the dress that would end up being The One because of how clear it was on Mel’s face that she'd found exactly what she was looking for. Mel had assured her that it was the same reason she’d cried seeing Gwen’s dress.

Gwen kissed Erik again and then directed him towards their closet so that he could get dressed, with a gentle reminder that they needed to think about leaving for the Landeskogs’.

She went about cleaning up the bags and tissue paper that had come from her shopping and joined Erik in the walk-in robe so that she could take in her wardrobe and what she needed to cycle out.

“Give me a hint?”

"It's white."

“Yeah, alright. I deserved that,” Erik conceded.

They were heading to the Landeskogs’ to look after Linnea and Lucas so that Gabe and Mel could go to the basketball—a horribly boring date in Gwen’s mind but some would probably say the same about her and Erik using their free night to look after someone else’s children. They didn’t often take on babysitting duties because there were young adults, and teenagers truthfully, who were much better suited for it, but it was fun when they did do it.

They inevitably taught Linnea at least one new behaviour that Gabe complained about—the most memorable and persistent being Linnea laying on her back on the hardwood floors so that Gwen and EJ could take turns spinning her in circles.

Gabe was insistent that the second Erik had a kid he was in for hell.

Linnea was waiting for them at the door, bouncing up and down in the window. She could be heard babbling and asking for the door to be opened, waving at Gwen and Erik enthusiastically. As soon as it was open, she was throwing herself at Erik who was ready to catch her.

“I don’t think people come here to see me anymore,” Gabe said, watching on as Gwen leaned into press loud kisses to Linnea’s face as she giggled and wriggled in Erik’s arms.

“We’ve never come here for you, you know that,” Gwen said, even as she kissed his cheek. “Where’s the love of my life?”

“Luke’s room. He’s being fussy because he knew you were going to come in and insult me.”

Gwen smiled, sarcastic innocence etched over her face, and left to find Mel and Luke.

The wailing coming through the hall as she got closer to the room let Gwen know that Gabe wasn’t lying about Luke being fussy. It was a sound that, to be frank, made her less sad about delaying having her own children, especially when Mel had described the colic both kids went through as newborns.

Mel frowned when Gwen walked into the room, where she was carrying Luke around in her arms, “He’s been like this all day. I really thought we were over the temper tantrums.”

“It happens,” Gwen said, holding her arms out to let Mel know she could handle Luke over if needed. “Everyone needs a good cry every now and then.”

Mel passed Luke over, rolling her shoulders. “I shouldn’t leave you to deal with this.”

“Yes, you should,” Gwen insisted, twisting away from Luke’s screams. “Go get your jacket and get out of here. He’ll see Erik and it’ll be fine.”

There was no argument from Mel there, because everyone knew that Erik had magical, baby calming powers. Before Mel left, she hugged both Gwen and Luke.

Gwen started bouncing Luke up and down, begging him to at least scream quieter before he burst her eardrum. Luke didn’t seem to care. When it was clear that there was no settling him down, and after Gabe poked his head in to say goodbye and apologise that Luke was already fussy and then hadn’t gone down for a nap which made everything much worse, Gwen sought out Erik.

He was gleefully playing with Linnea in the living room, a tiny, tiny table set up with a plastic tea-set with Erik sitting awkwardly at it. He looked up instantly at the sound of Luke’s crying, and he reached out to take him from Gwen.

“He’s so loud,” Linnea huffed, dropping her teacup to cover her ears with her hands.

“I know, hon,” Gwen said, helping Linnea to her feet so she could take her out of the room and away from her screaming brother. “I think it’s snack time, don’t you?”

Linnea’s mood lifted and she instantly forgot that she’d ever been annoyed at all.

They both stood in front of the open fridge, scrutinising the contents—Gwen knew that they would inevitably order pizza for dinner so whatever Gwen was going to prepare was going to be something like carrot sticks but a distraction was a distraction.

Luke’s crying could still be heard but it was more subdued, proving that Erik was as much a miracle worker as Gwen expected him to be. Erik brought Luke into the kitchen when he’d quietened down entirely, leaving the loudest sound being Linnea crunching away at carrot sticks.

“You’ll have to teach me how to do that,” Gwen said, peering down at Luke who was fighting to keep his eyes open in Erik’s arms.

“Our kids won’t be this loud,” Erik said assuredly. “Do you want to put him to bed while I organise dinner?”

Gwen hummed, gently taking Luke, and tilted her face up to Erik for a kiss, which he gave her. Before she left, she said, “My big strong man providing for me by making a phone call.”

“Even better,” Erik said, leaning into the joke and pulling his phone out of his pocket, “I’m going to order it on an app.”

“Swoon,” Gwen said as she fanned herself.

“What does ‘swoon’ mean?” Linnea asked, just in time for Gwen to duck out of the room and leave Erik to come up with something that would both make sense and not get him in trouble.

Gwen very much loved getting to spend time with Linnea and Luke, yet she still enjoyed the time when they went to bed and she and Erik sat on the couch together more.

It was horribly domestic, even if they were watching basketball, knowing that at any moment they could be interrupted by a child in need of attention. It rarely happened—both Linnea and Luke were kind enough to wait until their parents were home to rouse—and even if it was mildly annoying, it had Gwen dreaming of her own future.

Erik nudged her, gently, during a break in the game, and Gwen leant closer and hummed to let him know she was listening.

“What if I don’t want to see you in your wedding dress at the same time as everyone else?” he asked, solemnly. “What if I want it to be just for me? Can we make everyone stare at the altar?”

“That sounds a bit bridezilla-y,” Gwen said, cringing. “People do First Look photos. Before the ceremony, we meet in a little secluded place and it’s me, you and the photographer—there doesn’t even have to be a photographer there, I guess—and that’d mean that the only people who saw me before you were my bridesmaids.”

“We should do that.”

“Whatever you want, baby. Whatever you want.”

#erik johnson fic #erik johnson rec #nhl fic #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #hockey fic #homemade fic #only all the time fic #fic: avs

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whatsnewalycat · 2 years

Text

Just Dumb Enough to Try

Chapter 5: We're Going to be Friends

Word Count: 3.2k

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Warnings: angst, swearing, smoking, alcohol use, pining, existential crisis, abandonment issues, mental health spiral, attempts at jokes, movie nerd shit, i just wanted to call javi a narc

Series Summary: In 1993, you met Javier Peña in San Antonio. You made an emotional and physical connection with him. Now it's 1998 and you're starting a new chapter of life in Laredo with your fiancé. And who else walks back into the picture, but the man who left you high and dry five years ago.

Chapter Summary: Our heroes go to on their first (unofficial) date.

Notes: Oops I projected too much onto this character and made myself sad. I'm still trying to figure out how to format all these notes/ summaries/ disclosures/ links in a way that doesn't make my eye twitch. If you have any ideas, or any general comments on the story, let me know!! Chapter title from "We're Going to be Friends" by the White Stripes. Spotify playlist for this chapter. Cross-posted to AO3 here (UN: glitter_diety). Update weekly on Sundays.

[ First Chapter ] [ Previous Chapter ]

151 Fir St N, Laredo, TX

June 3, 1998

You walk back and forth in front of the phone, arguing with yourself about whether or not you should see if Javier wants to go with you to your Wednesday movie.

Pro: Company. Aside from your excursion to the Pour House on Monday, you’ve essentially been alone. Dan worked late on Monday and Tuesday, and today he’s going straight to softball in San Antonio after work. You desperately needed to talk to another human.

Con: Movie selection. You want to see Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and you’re not ready or willing to negotiate that detail.

Pro: You like being around him. You two got off to a rocky start, but seeing him on Monday was really… nice. And you are actually looking forward to spending time with him.

Con: You like being around him. The crush you’ve always had is still lingering, which seems dangerous.

You shove that last thought to the back of your brain and quickly pick up the phone to dial the number he gave you on Monday. It rings twice before he picks up with a curt, “Yeah?”

“Hi, Javier. It’s your favorite Minnesotan,” you say, then cringe at your low-effort attempt at being cute.

“Hello, beautiful. How are you today?” His tone makes a 180 from the initial greeting.

Heat rises to your face because did he just call me beautiful?

“I-I’m just seeing if you have any plans for tonight. I’m going to see a movie… if you, um, want to come with,” you sputter.

“Are you asking me on a date?” he teases. Your heart leaps into your throat and you’re practically sweating, your face is so hot.

You throw your head back, “I swear to god, I will hang up right now.”

He laughs on the other end, “Yeah I’m free, let’s do it. I’ll pick you up?”

—

You jump up into the passenger’s seat of Javier’s dusty red pickup truck and slam the door closed behind you. Glancing over at him, you notice he’s wearing aviator sunglasses, a tan short sleeved button-up, and dark jeans. The radio is off, which you find curious. No radio?

“You live on a dirt road or something?” You question, fanning away the cloud of dust that puffs out of the upholstery when you sat down.

“That and I use this on the ranch all the time.” He shifts the truck into reverse and backs out of your driveway.

“Good thing I’m wearing all black.” You joke, trying in vain to brush your dress off. “How is that- working on a ranch?”

“It’s not exactly what I would have chosen for myself. But it’s something to do. I spend a lot of time working with my dad, which is nice, mostly.”

You admire that he has a good relationship with his dad. Chucho doesn’t look like the most approachable person, but he’s been very kind every time you’ve talked to him. Like father, like son, you suppose.

There’s no A/C in the truck so you roll your window down. Then you kick your feet up onto the dashboard to make yourself more comfortable as you watch the scenery go by your window. He doesn’t scold you to get your feet down, which is appreciated.

“If you could do any job, what would it be?” You ask, loud enough for him to hear you over the rolled down window.

His tilts his head to the side, furrows his eyebrows, “I’ve thought about it a few times. I’d like to be a private investigator. A little more mellow than DEA, still get to use my brain. Not as much bureaucratic bullshit.”

“Huh. That would be a really good fit for you. You should do it,” You peer over at him, then look down and start to pick at your nail polish.

He clears his throat, “Have you ever been to this movie theater?”

You don’t look up from your nails, just continue to chip away at the lavender polish, “I go every Wednesday.”

“Why Wednesday?”

“Dan has softball on Wednesdays. He doesn’t like going as much as I do, so I usually just go by myself when he’s not home,” you explain.

He shifts in his seat and looks over at you, perplexed, “How do you keep finding the people who don’t like movies? First that horrible person you lived with, what was her name?”

“Javi, you spent more time with her than you did with me, how do you not remember?” you ask in disbelief.

“My memory from that time is shit. I do remember I didn’t like being around her other than uh…” he trails off, likely realizing he’s within close proximity to the elephant in the room.

“The fucking?” You prompt.

“The fucking, yeah,” he couldn’t keep a boyish grin from breaking out on his face, “Not like you…“

What the fuck does that mean?

You pull your feet off the dash so you can sit up straight and stare at him, waiting for him to finish the thought. He doesn’t. You blurt out, “What do you mean not like me?”

He presses his fingertips to his lips and shrugs, “I like being around you.”

You grin and blush immediately, then settle back into your seat and admit, “I like being around you, too.”

A comfortable silence falls over the cab of the truck until you remember what spurred this conversation in the first place, “Her name is Michelle.”

He snaps into a finger gun, “Michelle, that’s right.”

—

By the time you’re settled into your theater seat, there’s about 10 minutes to showtime. There are a few other people scattered throughout the theater, but it’s mostly empty, which is typical for Wednesdays. Javier sets his pop down into the cup holder between you two.

“I can’t believe you got a tub of popcorn that big and nothing to drink,” he comments, grabbing some popcorn out of the container in your lap and tossing it into his mouth.

“I don’t really like pop. Besides, you’ll share with me, right?”

“What did you just call it?” he snickers.

“Pop”

“ Pahp ” he mocks your accent. You smack him in the chest, as a playful gesture, but your heart skips a beat when you make contact with him.

“Yeah, I’ll share my pahp with you,” he laughs while taking more popcorn.

You start laughing with him, “Shut the fuck up, Javier.”

“What’s this movie about?”

Oh. Oh, shit.

“I didn’t realize until just now that… I asked you, a fucking narc… to come see a movie entirely about heavy drug use,” you giggle nervously, not sure what to expect out of him. He doesn’t strike you as someone overly judgmental about drug use, but he was literally a narc, so…

“Of course you did,” he starts laughing again, “Incredible.”

“We can go see something else if you want,” you tell him half-heartedly, knowing it’s not really an offer you’re willing to follow through on.

He scoffs, “What? No. I don’t care if it’s about drugs,” then pauses before asking, “Did you call me a fuckin’ narc?”

A woman walking up the aisle stops next to the row you’re in and calls out, “Javi?”

His head snaps up to her and he squints, “Beth?”

Beth steps into the row and shuffles closer… so they can talk… directly over you.

“Hey, this is my friend-“ he tries to introduce you before she cuts him off.

“We’ve met I think, you’re Dan’s fiancé?”

You nod.

“Interesting,” Beth says in a- is that a snarky tone ? She turns her attention back to Javier, “I’ve been trying to get ahold of you, did you get any of my messages?”

You sink into your seat and grimace, trying to disappear into your popcorn tub.

Javier holds eye contact with Beth, jaw jutting and body rigid, before admitting, “I did.”

Damn that’s cold.

Beth’s nostrils flare, her eyes roll, and she lets out a cold laugh, “Wow. Ok. Well, don’t bother calling me when you get bored of her,” she gestures to you. You sink down deeper into the chair.

Javier doesn’t say anything.

Then she awkwardly shuffles sideways out of the row, which looks… objectively funny. People in their seats crane their heads around to see what the commotion is as she stomps out of the theater.

“What the fuck, Javier?” You whisper to your companion, who is sulking. He doesn’t respond.

You’re suddenly so relieved to have a significant other as stable as Dan. But you also know the pain of rejection that Beth is feeling right now, so you have a duty to advise him that he’s being an asshole.

“Speaking from experience,” you say delicately, “maybe you shouldn’t just… drop off like that anymore on people. It… it feels shitty, you know?”

He looks down at his hands and sighs, “Yeah, you’re right.”

He lifts his head to face you. His gaze softens and his dark eyes search yours. The way he’s looking at you places a weight on your chest. Your whole face feels like it’s on fire and your eyes drop to your popcorn.

Thankfully the lights dim to black as the movie trailers start. You shake the bucket of popcorn at him. He releases his breath in a sigh ‘ if I have to’ as he takes a handful. You smirk and then pick up his pop to take a drink.

—

The two of you chat animatedly on the way home about the chaotic drug-fueled adventure of Hunter S. Thompson. He seems to like it, even though he’s a ( former - as he argues) narc.

When the truck’s headlights bounce over the front of the white rambler as Javier pulls into your driveway, you turn to him and say, “Thank you for coming with me. I had a really good time.”

“I had a really good time, too,” he peers through the windshield at the house, “When does Dan usually get home?”

“He stays with a friend, since it’s such a long drive.”

“Do you want any company?” He offers quietly.

Do I want company?

As if someone else shoved the memory inside your brain, you remember what it felt like to be wrapped around him. Your skin aches at the thought of being touched by those hands again. This twists your stomach in knots.

Just friends. This is what friends do. It’s fine.

There’s a tingling in your center that reminds you that you’re a liar. You don’t heed its warning when you raise an eyebrow at him and smirk, “Only if you promise to behave yourself.”

“Me? Always.” He kills the engine and winks, which causes you to scoff immediately. You both hop out of the truck and he follows you into the house.

You take off your shoes and walk into the kitchen, shouting back at him, “Do you want a beer?”

He replies in the affirmative so you grab two of them out of your fridge before returning to the living room. He’s standing shoeless in front of a large bookshelf with his hands shoved into his front pockets, grinning at either your knickknacks or books. Either way, it’s endearing. You pass one of the beers to him, then open your own.

“You have a lot of Halloween stuff.” He observes, referring to your skeleton and jack-o-lantern figurines, then points to a picture of you as a toddler, “Is this you?”

“It is.” You nod. He looks like he’s trying to absorb all of the odds and ends you have on display, which tugs at your heart a little. You interrupt his studying, “So what do you wanna do? Wanna play cards?”

He snaps his attention back to you, “Sure.”

You find a deck of cards and sit down in front of your couch, one leg folded over the other underneath your coffee table. Javier sits across from you, also on the floor. The two of you play rummy and talk about how you and Dan met and came to be in Laredo.

“No shit? You were in softball?” he laughs. “I wouldn’t have pinned you as a sports kind of person.”

“I’m really not, I fucking hate softball,” you shrug. He flinches backwards a bit and his eyebrows furrow. He’s confused. You clarify, choosing your words carefully, “I only joined because my therapist at the time wanted me to join an activity so I could… meet people. I didn’t really have any friends here… once Michelle stopped talking to me.”

He nods and lays down his discard, “Was that because of us?”

Your cheeks start to burn and you don’t move your eyes from the cards in your hand. Your stomach flips when you remember how it felt to kiss him. You try to keep a poker face (card pun) when you draw a card and nod yes.

“I’m sorry,” he sighs. You discard.

Your eyebrows press together as you put your hand face down on the table to think out loud, “It’s not your fault. I knew what I was doing, and I don’t regret it. I think maybe… everything happens for a reason. And maybe this all was supposed to happen so I could… meet Dan.”

You both seem to ponder this for a bit. Before you met Dan, you were planning to move back to Minnesota once you finished the masters program at UTSA. What would have happened if you didn’t join a stupid softball team as a Hail Mary to appease your therapist? You’d be back in Minnesota. Probably living with Claudia or in a cramped apartment back in your hometown. You wouldn’t have met Dan.

I wouldn’t have reconnected with Javier.

Shaking your head like an etch-a-sketch to get out of this rabbit hole, you look up at your opponent, who also seems to be stuck in his thoughts. “It’s your turn,” you remind him gently.

“Oh shit. Sorry,” he pulls a card and brings focus back to his hand. He lays down his play, discards, then glances up at you, “You really think everything happens for a reason? Like fate?”

You frown as you pick up from the discard pile, “Yeah, I think I do. I think… I’m always exactly where I need to be.”

He hums acknowledgement. You concentrate on your play, lay down all of your cards except one, so you can discard it.

“Rummy,” you grin.

“Fuck off,” he throws his cards down to light a cigarette.

During the next game, he tells you a little about his time in Columbia. Broad strokes stuff, mostly, about his DEA partner and the basics of what they did.

“Were you able to make any other friends down there, or just your partner?” You ask absentmindedly while trying to figure out your next move.

“Just Murphy. Well, and his wife, Connie. Everyone thought I was an asshole,” his head tilts sideways thoughtfully, “Easier that way, though.”

You shrug and deadpan, “You are kind of an asshole.” He throws his hands up in a what the fuck did I do? gesture. Laughter bubbles up out of you. Once it settles, you’re a little more serious, “But really. I get how it’s easier that way. It’s like… if they stay away they can’t hurt me and I can’t hurt them. It’s not as scary.”

He nods his head vigorously and exclaims, “Exactly!”

You smile from ear-to-ear. It’s sort of amusing that this man, who used to chase Pablo fucking Escobar’s cartel down, is agreeing with you that vulnerability is terrifying. Even though you’re overwhelmingly attracted to him, which makes you feel all kinds of conflicted; you sense a friendship blossoming. And, ironically enough, instead of feeling shellshocked like you normally are at the concept, you find it makes you giddy. You realize that you really do like being around Javier.

You kick his ass in two more hands of rummy before he decides to head home.

“Thank you for your company today,” you tell him while he puts on his boots in the entry way. You turn on the living room tv and settle into the couch with a blanket wrapped around you.

“Anytime. Have a good night,” he opens the door to leave and pauses to glance up at you, cocooned into blanket, and chuckles.

As he’s closing the door you call out, “Goodnight, Javi.”

Your chest flutters and your relax into the softness surrounding you. All things considered, that was probably the best case scenario of him hanging out with you when Dan wasn’t here.

You tilt your head and wonder what you’re going to tell Dan about Javier. Surely, you’ll have to say something. Beth will tell Kim (if she hasn’t already) that you were at the movies with Javier fucking Peña, Kim will tell Dan, Dan will assume the worst (assuming he gives a shit at all).

Sure, you don’t have anything to hide technically, but don’t I, kind of? You take note of how you feel so magnetized to him, the way your stomach flips if he looks at you for longer than one second, how effortless it is to be open with him…

There’s no way he feels the same, though, so it doesn’t matter. Even if he did, you don’t think you could bring yourself to trust him not to abandon you. Hell, you’re not sure if you can trust him to not abandon you strictly as a friend.

Easier that way.

Even though you hesitate to let down your guard with almost anyone, this fucking guy totally disarms you. It makes you wish you had more time with him; you contemplate calling him tomorrow. Panic starts to rise from your chest into your neck. You absolutely cannot call him tomorrow. There’s no way he would want to spend two days in a row with you .

The voice of your ex-girlfriend Mel echoes in your head, “I can’t spend every day with you. I’m not that kind of person.”

You recall the dozens of times you've been called needy or annoying.

The pit in your stomach grows as you picture the way your father would grimace when he could hear you laugh, or the way he would become snippy with you after spending an extended amount of time with you.

There’s a sharp pain in your chest when you remember your own mother hasn’t wanted to spend more than 10 minutes in the same room as you.

Even Dan stays away from home as much as he can. When he is home, it seems like he avoids you. When you’re invited out with him and his friends, you understand that you can be too much. If you talk too frequently, laugh too loud, say or do something odd , you see him grimace, the same way your father did. So, you sit quiet. He talks for you. It’s less embarrassing for both of you that way.

And each time I lose myself a little bit more.

See, Javier just doesn’t know how to tell you yet that you’re being a nuisance. If you get close enough, though, he will. It’s something you can’t bear to go through again. One more person you enjoy being around that can’t stand you.

All of the good feelings you cultivated today wither and die. A great emptiness takes their place. You sink deeper into this cavern until nothing can touch you anymore. No one can hurt you here.

Easier that way.

[ Next Chapter ]

#narcos fic #pedro pascal #narcos fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #narcos #javier pena #pedro pascal character fanfic #javier peña x you #javier peña x reader #javier peña x ofc #javier pena fanfiction #javier peña #javier pena x oc #javi pena #javi peña #jdett

160 notes · View notes

maccreadysbaby · 1 year

Note

i just binged the logan fam au pls im so invested 😩 there’s not a lot of works with logan and i’m so so happy i found it !! it’s so amazing and i love how you write ❤️

Thank you so much this makes me so happy! Unfortunately this is going to be the last part. I think fifteen is a good number to end on. Also this goes into the futures of Logan and y/n’s kids as well!!!

< prev part

HERES TO THE FUTURE™︎

y/n was absolutely livid Logan wouldn’t let her go to Houston with him

Elliot and McKade were absolutely livid Logan wouldn’t let them go to Houston with him

Y/n never got many descriptions of that night. Only that Finn’s first ever mission was saving his brother

y/n stayed at home with McKade, Elliot, Jade, and Sadie. They stayed up nearly all night waiting for any kind of communication

there was nothing until, three days later, Logan got home with Diego

and he still wouldn’t tell y/n what happened. Not that Finn had a nervous breakdown in the middle of the mission and that Gaz practically had to carry him. Not that Keegan and Hesh both got shot multiple times for Diego. Not that Rorke had the barrel of a gun pressed against their son’s head. Not that Rorke’s brains were splattered on the wall from a bullet that came out of Logan’s gun. Not that Diego had watched him kill Rorke. Not that Diego cling to Finn the entire way home, that he wouldn’t look at Logan, wouldn’t even get close enough for Logan to touch him

Diego was different when he got home. Traumatized, almost. He didn’t cry, didn’t have much of a reaction at all other than the fact that he wanted to sit on the couch with his whole family and not move

Sadie tried to get him to say something, but he didnt

And the eight of them, including Finn who’d returned home, sat there with him

They all fell asleep in the living room, in the floor, on the couches, in chairs

And the next morning, Sunday morning, they woke up to more silence from Diego

deep down Logan knew he’d scarred the kid for life, but what was he supposed to do? Let Rorke shoot him?

everyone was so gentle with Diego. They handled him like glass. Like porcelain. It broke y/n and Logan’s heart that, after they got home, when Logan moved toward Diego, Diego would back away

he slowly started talking again, but not to Logan. He started smiling again, but not at what Logan said. He started to laugh at jokes, and play games, and go back to normal

all except for the fact that he was avoiding Logan

it was absolutely heart shattering for Y/n and Logan, but what could they do? Forcing him to interact could cause more harm than good, and they weren’t therapists, they didn’t know how to handle this

it was one Wednesday, after Diego had gotten home from school. Y/n was in the kitchen and Logan was working at the dining table. McKade and Elliot were in their rooms, Sadie was playing with Jade in the living room, Finn was on-base with TF141

Diego got home from school and dropped his bag. Sadie greeted him but he didn’t say anything

he bee-lined through the living room, through the kitchen. Upon his arrival, Logan stood, ready to give him his space, but instead, Diego walked straight into him, wrapping his arms around his father so tight he nearly couldn’t breathe

“I’m sorry. I love you, dad,” was all Diego said

Logan made eye constant with y/n and hugged Diego back. “I love you too, buddy”

and then, just then, their family clicked back into place. Everything shifted, everything felt, right. y/n felt, for the first time, that their future wasn’t so uncertain, that their family wasn’t so strange, that everything might just be okay from that point forward

and it was

McKade made it through medical school and became a children’s doctor, working mostly with kids that had to board at the hospital for hereditary diseases or cancer

he wasn’t one for romance. Not until one day, when he was twenty-eight, when a woman and her one-year-old son who’d just beaten cancer got transferred into his care

her name was June, and her son, Julian

he tried not to fall for her because doctor and parent was so taboo, so unnatural, so forbidden, but he couldn’t help it

after they got released, he started hanging out with her, spending time with them, and oh God, he loved them

and he married her when he was twenty-nine. They had three kids, including Julian. One was born when Julian was three, a daughter, Bailey, and then another daughter a year after that, Evie

Elliot ended up with the most oddball job out of them all. He became an underwater welder

sounds strange, but they get paid extremely extremely well

he opened up his home to house foreign exchange students when he was twenty-nine and eventually takes up fostering as a single father

he only fostered one child, a ten year old boy named Ezra, and he fell so in love that he adopted him

he never got married, he didn’t have much interest in women after what his mother did to Logan. he had a few girlfriends but Ezra was his main priority all of the time

he and Ezra had a father/son only life like he and Logan did for a bit, but it was happy as opposed to the messy divorce that caused theirs

Finn spent almost fifteen years in the military before finally settling down after losing his second leg when he was 35

he took up working business deals, being a salesman, so he got a remote job leading a team of salesman under a company that supplied car dealerships with advertising and such

he’d pretty much written off getting married until he met Alluria (uh-lore-ee-uh), a beautiful girl from Slovakia that had moved to America as a baby. He met her because she worked at the local coffee shop he spent, like, half of his life in

they got married when Finn was 36 and never had any kids, but they have a beautiful marriage and live to spend time with their nieces and nephews

Diego graduated high school and college at the top of his class, but settled on the culinary arts

he started working as a cook in someone else’s kitchen

then a manager / cook

and it spiraled and spiraled until, suddenly, y/n and Logan were watching on as he opened his own Brazilian restaraunt

he met a girl, Lacey, when she applied to work there and long story short they ended up married when Diego was 22

they had five kids. The first was a boy, Noah, when he was 23, then a girl a year later, Haven, two years after that a boy, Dallas, then a year later, female identical twins, Callie and Emma

Sadie decided not to go to college, and instead, lives, at first, by picking up odd jobs. She’d auditioned for shows and movies but never made it

She finally settled down and ended up being a freelance photographer

She married a guy named Hudson after meeting him in a theater course she took once

they had one kid, a girl, and they named her Y/n

Jade grew up with so much love and support she didn’t know what to do with it all. She played sports throughout all of her school years, but she finally settled on being a soccer player

she played through college, where she met Avery, a boy that also played soccer

and eventually they got married. Jade was 24

they had two babies, both boys, named Roman and Leo. Leo was born when she was 25, Roman when she was 26

and Y/n, Logan, and their massive family lived happily ever after

(Oh yeah; and every single one of their kids made sure to have pancake Saturdays with their own kids)

#logan walker x reader #call of duty logan #logan walker

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ktficworld · 2 years

Text

London boy

Paring: Neil tenet x desi!reader

Summary: you were in a bad mood. And a poor blond was your victim.

Warnings: none

A/n: yelp, I'm going this. Neil with desi reader equals no traction. Anyway. If anyone wants to be tagged, let me know. Let's see if it's going to be funny outside of my head.

Main masterlist

Neil tenet masterlist

@the-house-of-auditore-frye

To say you were in a shitty mood would be an understatement.

First your AC broke, then unannounced guest dropped like bomb, and then groceries ran out. Meaning you'd have to go to market in the middle of the June afternoon.

Oh and the heat.

Don't even talk about that. Sunny dearest was sucking up all your energy like someone drinking every drop of a very expensive drink.

God you hated summer

No it was not summer. It was the trailer of the hell that everyone was going to.

You didn't bring your scooty. Oh no, because you were pretty sure with this heat rain. You could probably make dosa on the seat. Which you didn't wanted to do to your backside. So a good walk it was.

You were so exhausted that you didn't even tried to bargain. Your mother was going to chew you out, you were sure of it.

You took the gorciers. And made your way back home. When a accented voice called from behind.

"Excuse me, miss."

Huh, when did mumbai boys started having british accent.

You turned around to see two very tall and very non- Indians. One was clearly white. With blonde hair and blue eyes. Like if someone wanted to give a example of a white man. He would fit right in. Another was a dark skinned man, black. You concluded.

After seeing them you had two questions.

First, how the fuck were they wearing suits while you were melting here?

Second, what the fuck were they even going here?

"Yes..."

"I'm neil." The blonde said.

Clothes wihitening neel?

Oh god! No you idiot it's a name. You mentally chastised yourself.

It wasn't helping that your brain was cooking something evil after listening his accent. British hmmm...

"Yes neil, how can I help you?" You said while grinning internally. You were going to pull something and he was going to be the target.

"I want to-" That was when the tubelight went off in your head.

"Want. What do you want? You already took everything." You said in a sickeningly innocent voice.

He stopped as if his train of thoughts have hit a dead end. And his face contorted in utter confusion. Same was the black guy.

Honestly you were having a hard time keeping a straight face.

"I'm sorry?"

"It's okay, at least someone said sorry."

Now, his gaze was just screaming "what the fuck lady."

You glanced at the black dude. You held your gaze for sometime with your innocent face. And you saw as realization dawned on him.

Now, he was trying hard not to laugh.

"Actually, we are looking for someone's address." The black man said. While the blonde was still processing.

"Who?" Knowing everyone in Mumbai was impossible. But you could take a shot.

"Priya."

"Oh! She's abroad, studying."

"What?!

"There are lakhs of priyas. You gotta be specific."

After he gave you some details. You figured out who he was talking about. Priya, nice and sweet lady. You have met her a few times. So you gave him her address. And he looked pleased with the information.

"Neil, let's go." He said as he put a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, but-"

"We don't have time for this." He looked at you and said." Thank you."

"You're welcome." You said as he dragged Neil away. But you wanted to pull his leg one last time.

"HAVE A GOOD DAY, LONDON BOY." you shouted. It got his attention and also of some bystanders, but you didn't care about them.

His eyes went wide and his jaw dropped. He looked like he just solved the baramunda triangular mystery.

You threw your head back and laughed till your lungs hurt and your eyes waterd.

Maybe he finally got the reference.

#neil tenet x reader #neil tenet #neil #robert #robbert pattinson x reader #robert pattinson #robert pattinson x y/n

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cupidsbower · 2 years

Text

Debrief on the novel, The End of Happiness

A few days ago, I posted my Venom novel, The End of Happiness. It's been a pretty wild journey, so I wanted to decant it all from my brain. The EddieVenom BigBag came across my feed on Tumblr, right at the end of the sign up period in mid-March this year. The minimum word count was 10,000, and that seemed a bit of a stretch goal given all the real life stuff I had on, but doable. I had to make a quick decision, and so I kind of went -- I'm doing Health Stuff and it's getting me down, and I have that idea about the Symbiote Emperor kicking around, and it would be awesome to get some art! So I signed up, planning to write 10,000 words of silly space opera and get a bit of art, and finally explore the idea of the Symbiotes having names alluding to something other than murder and mayhem. Nice! I couldn't start writing straight away, as I had another project I needed to finish first -- The Star Trek story I wrote for Space Swap in April: When sorrows come. I'd already been writing that for a while, so I hammered out the end, and was kind of amazed it ended up being 6,000 words long. As soon as I posted it, I started work on Happiness, at last. The BigBang rule was that 80% of the work had to be completed, with an outline, by the check-in, in order to be assigned an artist. I managed to get around 8,000 words done, I think, and then put together the outline for the rest -- cool, cool, another 4 scenes, so it'll come in at 12,000 words. THAT'S FINE, I hammered out some more words and just squeaked by on the 80% rule. Phew. And then I put Happiness aside for a bit so I could made my VidUKon premiiere, Mind Fight. I needed a break from writing, and it was so worth it. I cackled the entire time I was making that vid. It still makes me laugh now. By the time I'd done that, I was put in contact with my artist, and I got so lucky, because ifer put their hand up for my story. Win!!!! That really put a spring in my step! I wrote another chunk of words off the back of my excitement for art, and realised I STILL had three of the four scenes in my outline to write. Hmmm. Maybe it was going to come in at 14,000 words. The project was starting to be a bit more than I'd planned on, but I could still do it. EVERYTHING WAS FINE. By this point it was June, and I had promised to run a mid-year Venom fest, so I put together Venom: Let There Be Chocolate, created the Ao3 community, set up the rules, advertised it a bit, etc etc. And then realised - belatedly - that I needed to create something for my own fest - because the first year of a fest never has many entries. I cracked my knuckles and hammered out As the Asteroid Turns in about three weeks, which wasn't bad as it came in at 7,500 words. I'm super pleased with it too - it's another story I'd had in mind for a while and it was fun to get it written. I also used it to try out some of the techniques I wanted to use in Happiness, like Galactic Universal Sign Language, so even though it was a detour, I still felt like I was making progress. Through all of this, ifer was a trouper! Put up with my shenanigans and half written first draft with holes in it everywhere, and was full of enthusiasm for all the aliens. I hammered out the "turning point" scene so ifer could illustrate it -- the one with Eddie and Venom in the underground pool. I thought... Nearly done! and was so pleased with myself. LOL. Then I woke up in the middle of the night realising there was a scene missing, and went back and filled it in... and as a consequence realised that there was a whole B plot I needed to make the A plot work. FINE, EVERYTHING IS STILL UNDER CONTROL. Then I wrote the actual turning point scene -- the one between Eddie and Xan after the pool, which kind of came out of nowhere. My story-brain just does that sometimes and I've learned to go with it. It always makes the story better. ANYWAY, AT LEAST NOW I KNEW WHAT MY OWN STORY WAS ABOUT. Everything was FINE! Don't look at me like that! I was a little worried, to be fair. The draft was at 20,000 words and I still had 3 of the 4 scenes in my outline to write. But I figured things were properly on track now, and it would be a straight run to the end. And then. *internally screams* THEN... I realised I needed a C plot, to make the A and B plots work. Friends, at that point I was NOT FINE. The fic was officially out of control. It was not a fun little novella coming in at 10,000 words. It was a freaking full-blown novel. I'd be lucky if it came in at 30,000 words. I had birthed a monster, and poor ifer had done all that art, and I had to finish the fucking thing by the deadline because I could not let them down! I panicked a bit, read a bunch of Witcher fic to take my mind off things for a while, got sidetracked by my actual job and had to do a bunch of marking. And then realised the deadline was HORRIFYINGLY CLOSE. I was at around 28,000 words and still had two of the four scenes in my outline to write. I knuckled down and wrote 11,000 words in a week. NOTHING WAS FINE, EVERYTHING WAS TERRIBLE. But I had finally, at last, written all the scenes in my outline. Thank fuck for that. ifer swooped in and did the first pass beta and I submitted the darn thing for final check-in. For those of you paying attention, you'll realised there is still a pretty big discrepancy in my numbers. The actual word count of the novel is 46,000 words, not the 40,000 submitted for final check-in. Because, you see, I asked the wonderful maharetr to beta during the gap between submission and the posting deadline. This was a very good decision, as she looked at the final third - written in that whirlwind at the end - and immediately started whipping it into shape, which was sorely needed. The rough bits got smoothed, the jumps in logic were made sensible, the missing emotional beats were added. A few thousand words were added in the process. Great. Good. Things were once again fine. And then... I said, hey, maharetr, do you think there's a hole in this one place? Yes, maharetr agreed, there really was a hole where I had suspected there was a hole. Bugger fuck shit. I mean, no worries, 300 words would fill that hole. Piece of cake. LOLOLOLOLOL. The best part of a chapter and 3,000ish words later, the hole was finally filled, and the novel had gone up a rating from Mature to Explicit. Also, I had officially written some of the kinkiest sex of my entire fanfic career. A notable achievement to be sure. With that done, there was only one writing task left -- the epilogue wasn't quite right. The final changes to that were made on 6 October, literally the day before I had to post the fic. Thank you so much, maharetr, for holding my hand through that final terrible writing session. All the hugs in the world. It took me two days to get the post ready on the Ao3, with all the images, fake links, and other formatting. I was doing that in parallel with making final changes. I finished getting the draft ready at around 3am on the 7th October and pressed post. Then I collapsed into bed and slept like the dead. And here we are. Seven months later, a lot tireder, having written a 10,000 word novella in 46,000 words. FOR FUN. Don't forget that bit. I did it FOR FUN. It was a lot of work, but I'm super proud of my kinky romance-in-space novel. I know it's blowing my own trumpet, but my god it is really fricken good. You should definitely go read it. ;)

[If you’d prefer to talk over on Dreamwidth, this post is also there: https://cupidsbow.dreamwidth.org/467690.html]

#venom #the end of happiness #eddievenom bigbang #cupidsbow #ifer #artbyifer #meta #writing #fanfic #art

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thebentleyao3 · 1 year

Text

But I'm a Cheerleader! AU 📣 Part 2/?

also known as "But I'm the All Valley Champ! 🥋" in my notes app, title idea courtesy of my older brother

part 1 can be found here

Johnny hadn't even been at the camp for a full week and everything was already going to shit.

He knew why he needed to be there at True Directions, the brochures had all said it was the best way to fix what was wrong with him, the only way. His mother had made Sid promise not to tell anyone where he was going too, though that hadn't been too hard. Who could stand anyone finding out he had a stepson who was queer?

Missing 3 months of school and karate plus being away from all his and friends wasn't ideal, but he was figured he was just gonna have to tough it out. Most of the kids at True Directions were alright, and he was really starting to warm up to the idea of spending an extended period of time around them.

He was so, so close to getting through the program without anything in the way. Of course something had to go wrong.

Johnny ran shaky hands through his hair, letting out a sigh. He couldn't bring himself to sit with the others during free time after group therapy. He knew that eventually Ali would want to talk to him, and because he hadn’t acted like enough of a coward already, Johnny had hid from her. He'd been curled up behind the house in a secluded area in the garden out back for the past 20 minutes.

What was the point of putting so much effort into keeping people back home from finding out he was gay when the one person he would’ve wanted to find out the least ended up right where he was?

Suddenly, Johnny heard a faint rustling in the bushes. Straightening up and out of his crouch, he looked up to see a familiar brown haired boy, pushing through the shrubbery. Johnny furrowed his brow in confusion as the two stared at eachother.

"Hey, there you are,” Daniel said, grinning at him. “I’ve been looking all over for you, blondie.”

Johnny scooched over to the side, silently making room for Daniel to sit with him. Once he’d set himself down with a comfortable sigh, Johnny spoke. "Why?” He replied, and then like an afterthought, “And I already told you, stop calling me that.”

Daniel shrugged, and with a start Johnny realised he looked kind of shy. "Was worried about you, is all. You seemed kinda," He trailed off.

"What, rattled?" Johnny offered, raising an eyebrow at him.

Daniel let out a soft huff of laughter, "I was actually gonna say freaked out of your mind, but yeah. Rattled works too."

"Right, well," Johnny replied, "You'd probably be a little freaked out of your mind too if you were me."

Daniel shoved him lightly, laughing again. "What's wrong? You know the new girl or something?"

Johnny couldn't help but laugh then too. More than you'd guess, he wanted to say. Instead, his response was soft.

"She was my girlfriend back home," he said, "Technically still is, actually."

The worst part of it all was, sometimes Johnny could make himself think he really did have feelings for Ali. He could talk to her, really talk to her, and she made him want to be a better person, one who didn't have to punch out all his problems.

Sometimes, on those nights where he'd be driving her back to her house, both hands on the wheel so she wouldn't try to take one, he'd look over at her, at her pretty eyes and her bright smile and wonder how he could possibly not love her. He had to be straight if he loved spending time with her so much, right?

But over time it had gotten harder to pretend. He'd stiffen up when she kissed him, instinctively pull away if he thought she was going to try and pull him into a hug. He started dreading seeing her, dreading her easy affection because deep down he knew she didn't deserve this, he was such a liar, she should hate him, he was all wrong and he was going to ruin her with it, he just knew.

Daniel laughed, incredulous. "Are you serious?"

"Sure am. Our 2 year anniversary was back in June." Daniel's expression was so priceless, Johnny almost laughed despite the pit in his stomach. Almost.

Johnny watched as the other boy scoffed in disbelief, head leaning back against the wall.

"You're really something else, Blondie." And yeah, he kinda was, but still.

"It's not like I don't," Johnny could feel his face warming up as he spoke. "I do like Ali okay. So much. She's smart, and she has a killer sense of humour-"

"And she's got just about the greatest tits you've never seen!" Daniel cut in, sparkling. Johnny flushed immediately, opening his mouth to tell the other boy off when Daniel continued, deadpan.

“Look, I don't need you to give me the straight boy speech. You're not gonna fool anybody. Not here."

Johnny shut his mouth, speechless. Funny thing was, the worst part of this whole conversation wasn't even the fact that he was being lectured by some shrimpy loudmouth from New Jersey.

(Seriously, Daniel was tiny. Johnny's hand could probably circle his whole wrist, he could probably lift him all the way off the ground without breaking a sweat if he tried. Johnny wasn't gonna kid himself either. He knew full well what he'd do to him if they'd first met back home and Daniel tried talking to him the way he did at True Directions.)

The worst part was that Johnny couldn't even deny it. He'd never been attracted to Ali, as hard as he always tried. And denying it at the one place where he could be honest about himself was gonna get him nowhere.

"Alright, fine, Larusso!" He flapped his hands in Daniel's direction, as if he could swat him away like a fly. "Lay off me, will you?"

Johnny swallowed thickly. "I get it, I'm an asshole. I just-- I just thought if I pretended hard enough then eventually I wouldn't have to pretend anymore." He said, voice low. "But that's why I'm here now, right? To get better, so I won't be pretending anymore."

The two boys sat in silence for a few beats. As much as Johnny made jabs at the other boy for his constant chatter, the quiet was unnerving.

Finally, Daniel let out a heavy sigh, rolling his eyes. "Right, well. Good luck with that one."

Johnny furrowed his brow and narrowed his eyes at the boy. "What are you talking about?"

Daniel huffed out a laugh. "This crap doesn't work, Johnny. You are who you are, man, the only trick is not getting caught.

He brushed off his blue shorts, and started to get up. His tone was the only thing that betrayed any bitterness in his words. A slight edge to them. For not the first time, Johnny wondered what Daniel had done to get sent to camp.

Whatever dark mood Daniel had been in vanished as soon as it came. Once he was up, he grinned brightly down at Johnny, extending a hand to help pull himself up. Johnny accepted it wordlessly, pointedly not thinking about the warmth of his hand in his as he got up. The flowers just behind Daniel were looking real nice at the moment.

"I should. Probably go talk to Ali." Johnny said as they made their way back to the group.

Daniel stayed silent a beat, before hesitantly responding. "I know I gave you a ton of grief about it before but," He tried for a smile. "It'll be okay. She's here too, man, so she can't be too mad at you."

Maybe it sounded dumb, but up until that point Johnny hadn't really thought about what Ali's presence would mean for her feelings about him. He'd been so focused on how much she'd hate him now that she'd found out his secret.

Daniel reached out to him and squeezed his right hand lightly. It was small, and he'd pulled away immediately, but it was enough to fill his chest with warmth. He nodded once, and made his way over to the blonde girl sitting across the garden.

#been working on this for DAYS #but im a cheerleader #daniel larusso #johnny lawrence #lawrusso #tkk #fics #my writing #ive been thinking a lot about the ali/johnny confrontation honestly #but that info is between me and. well probably daniel bc i tell him everything about this au

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randolphbellmd · 1 year

Text

please forgive this long-winded recap of the year i am experiencing some uncharacteristic optimism and don’t know what else to do with it.

to preface, the last four new years eve’s have been awful. in 2018, my friend was in the process of breaking up with me but didn’t have the courtesy to tell me. in 2019, i was a ninth wheel at a party hosted by said “friend”. 2020 speaks for itself, i think.

my 2021 ended after a neuropsychologist doing a 45 min test (instead of an 8 hour assessment) and telling me that the crippling dysfunction that i had been struggling with for years was just single pandemic grad student things. she suggested i start taking a medication i’d already tried and vitamin D. this was a three days before my second pandemic xmas alone. i spent the next four days exclusively watching a sitcom and doing a puzzle (to get out of my head) and filled a script for a third attempt at antidepressants. i decided that if multiple therapists and an actual medical doctor was going to look at me and say “it’s nothing, just try harder,” then i was officially on my own. i had no friends in town, i had no one who could help me do my job, and i couldn’t rely on a doctor to help me. i was on my own to create my own support network.

for months i was fueled exclusively by spite, fictional characters, and a daily dose of meds. i wanted to get out of grad school. i wanted to be “doctor”. not because of the status or the jobs but because i wanted to be dr. and not mrs. or ms., and i didn’t want to quit after 6 years of being here already. that fueled me enough to stumble through a few months. i got some of my mojo back and started doing experiments again, which meant that i would get closer to graduating. then i tricked myself into thinking i had so much mojo that in the summer, i scheduled and finished a massive 12 weeks of 60+ hr/week. and i did it. all via faking it until i made it.

it turns out i made it.

but what really changed was that sometime in may/june, i started being able to see the future again. for the first time in years, i could see my future. grad school is always this purgatory between student and career and for years (coupled with isolation and general sam-ness) i couldn’t see any way out of it. not in a i-wish-i-was-dead way but the view of the future just looked like this big, dark, never-ending tunnel. this year i could finally see the signs that pointed toward the exit. i’m even getting close enough to see the light at the end.

i started thinking about how i saw myself in that future, and what being “dr.” actually meant. i’ve always been somewhat gender neutral (being named sam rocks, btw) and had been wearing almost exclusively men’s clothes for years, but i started thinking about how much better it felt when i allowed myself to be truly gender neutral all the time. when i was dr. sam, what did that look like? and i did a search for top surgery. i kinda laughed it off and was like yeah, wouldn’t that be nice, but eh, not now.

until i stopped saying “eh, not now.” and started saying “why not now?” and after weeks of detailed research it was looking more like now was exactly the right time. for a hundred reasons i won’t go into. i told my therapist and she asked how it felt to say that out loud and i said “this is the first time in years i’ve felt good about the future.” i called the hospital the next day and set up a consultation that at the time was nine months in advance. it’s in april of next year. which means the procedure will be sometime late next fall, right around my 30th birthday.

since that day, everything’s felt a little more hopeful. i had a hard deadline for when i wanted to be done with my experiments... because i would be recovering from surgery. i started exercising regularly... to be in better shape before the procedure. and it just snowballed from there. i’ve been exercising 4+ days/week for 20 weeks straight because i found a program that i like (and have lost 15 lbs because of it). i finished a huge experiment this summer and next month is my qualifying exam. i’m actually scientifically working on my gut, and had to give up my favorite foods for months to do so. i bought a suit. i made a tattoo appointment. i wrote 200,000 words of fanfiction. i got a new therapist to help with the OCD. i hadn’t brought any meat into my home in years on account of crippling anxiety and i’ve cooked chicken three times. this month.

and if you’re wondering, these are all little changes. the workouts started as 30 min low-impact HIIT videos on youtube. the chicken isn’t magically a good sauteed chicken stir fry, it’s “i’m going to use tongs to throw this in the crock pot and not look at it for 4 hours until it’s cooked to death, but that still counts as cooking it.” it’s baby steps, but it’s real steps.

oh, and i got a second opinion from a different neuropsychologist, and after a full clinical assessment, i got a diagnosis that made sense. and it was even better than the first, because after getting that diagnosis, nothing has changed. my life wasn’t magically better because a doctor told me what was up, it just made me feel a little better about why things are so hard, and made me want to work harder on those things.

god just typing this doesn’t feel like it’s all true but it is. i sound like a cliche.

looking back at all the resolutions i wrote at the beginning of the year... i’ve hit all of them somehow. be ready for my qualifying exam, exercise more, cook meat... all of them. initially thanks to spite, tv, and antidepressants, but then because i started saying “why not now” (and also spite, tv, and antidepressants). it all snowballed. i’m writing this because i genuinely can’t believe what i’ve accomplished this year. especially because of where i was last year at this time, sitting in my shower thinking i was permanently broken and nothing would fix me, and i would never see through the darkness of this tunnel.

tl;dr: never underestimate the power of spite, small joys (read: tv), medication, and faking it till you make it. because if you do that enough, you won’t be faking it anymore, you’ll just be doing it. that perseverance will spill into other parts of your life if you let it. so much so that after 365 days, you won’t believe you were able to do all of this by - and for - yourself. create your own community. stick with it. change what isn’t working. try the meds. live for yourself.

this year, i lived for myself. it doesn’t feel real, but it is.

#this is very long and very self-indulgent please ignore #but if you've been following me since 2013 you'll know how Big this is #still a long way to go before i am 'happy' but i feel... good.

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queer-triple-a · 1 year

Text

A Vibrant Pair

Introduction

This specific journal is one I just happened across. Apparently the writer had a bunch of loosely bound journals which his family kept around until they were later donated to the town's archive. Luckily this town keeps really good records online so I was able to read it.

The writer of this journal is named Dorian. We don’t have a last name for him.

I’m excited to share the story he witnessed with you.

Content Warnings

Mentions of death (of child)

Mentions of depression/depressive episode

Depiction of grief

Drinking

Period typical sexism (background)

Dorian’s Journal

[right page]

June 28th

I believe I witnessed the beginning of another love story today. Well it’s probably much too soon to say that, but I saw Tace smile. Tace never smiles! She’s always so grumpy in her spot at the bar. I assume she enjoys my company some since she sits at the bar every night, but I’ve never managed to get a smile out of her.

Even when she (on rare occasions) has laughed at my jokes, her lips have barely curled. I know she told me her favorite song is “Lavender’s Blue”, but when the bar rang out with a rendition of it she merely hummed along, lips straight as an arrow.

Clarissa must be something special. This woman, all bangs and bust, came in. She must not be a working girl like Tace is, because her hair was down around her shoulders. It bounced as she walked in. I think Tace might have been focusing on some other things that were bouncing though.

She sat down right next to Tace at the bar. I’ve never seen anyone sit there. Tace likes her personal space and, quite honestly, smells. Working with metal all day means she winds up smelling like tangy metal and soot.

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Must not have bothered Clarissa though. She sits down next to Tace and asks what she’s drinking.

Tace just looked at the lady and said, “What's it to you?”

“Well I’m new and I want to know what’s good,” Clarissa replied.

So Tace told her to order my house beer and Clarissa did. As I grabbed her a bottle I heard her start rambling to Tace. She told her how she’d had such a hard day going around the town trying to find the courthouse.

Tace asked her why she hadn’t asked for directions. Clarissa sighed at this and said, with all sorts of drama and flair, “Well don’t you think I thought of that! Doesn’t matter who gives them, I can never follow them.”

Apparently this Clarissa is so lost in her own mind she can’t keep along a straight path for more than a few paces before she forgets where she’s going. So she keeps telling us this story. Well more telling Tace than me. She tells her about all the people she met and all the weird looks she got. Funny how a girl who can’t remember where she’s going seems to know everyone she met along the way.

When I returned to them after handing a bottle to another regular at the other side of the bar, I saw it. As Clarissa’s hands waved around the table Tace’s lips curled upward into a smile. Clarissa continued her rant, finally arriving at the courthouse

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and apparently getting lost in there as well. She was completely unaware of the miracle she’d just made happen in my bar. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes.

Tace was still smiling when Clarissa got to the end of her story, which concluded with her filing forms to change her address to our little town. The lovely lady let out a sigh, took a sip of her beer, and asked Tace, “So how was your day?” As if they’d been friends for years.

Tace, her face still in a grin, let out a short laugh. Tace told her about her day (It was much the same as it always is) and Clarissa listened intently, asking questions and commenting where appropriate. The whole time the smile never left Tace’s face. I don’t know how that girl did it, but she made Tace happy, genuinely happy.

Clarissa left while I was over helping another customer, so I don’t know what she said, but she left a bit of a smile on Tace’s face. I raised my eyebrow at Tace who went right back to scowling. I knew pushing her would only make me less likely to ever know what was going on, so I dropped it.

God am I glad Clarissa is staying in town. That was very entertaining.

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July 2nd

Clarissa came in again today. I like this lady in her own right, I’ve decided. She got here before Tace and was very lovely. She ordered a beer again and sat quietly while I dealt with other customers. Once I showed her some attention and asked about her day, she gave me quite the story. She’d had breakfast this morning with several other women of the town. All was well and their morning was going well, until the neighbors dog ran through the room. This alone may not have disrupted them, but it stuck its snout up the skirt of one of the women. I received a play by play of every woman’s reaction as they resolved this issue and returned to their lunch.

Clarissa knows how to spin a tale. I never know if people’s stories are true when they’re willing to tell them to the bartender, but Clarissa made me want to believe hers. And when she was done she made me want to tell her about my day. She didn’t just ask, she listened. For someone who so loves to talk, she’s got a damn good ear. She kept looking up at me while we talked.

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Her eyebrows wiggled with reactions even when she had her drink to her lips.

Just as I was wrapping up my tale, Tace arrived. She was in a right foul mood. She slammed my door shut and stomped her way over to her seat. When she first arrived, Clarissa was sitting two seats away from her. Once Tace sat down Clarissa scooted closer.

Clarissa started talking right away, but it was gentler than normal. She asked “Can I ask you what’s wrong? Or do you just want to drink first?”

Tace rolled her eyes and said, “At least let me get one beer in me woman.” Her words were sharp, but I swear I saw the hint of a smile on her face.

Clarissa must have seen that smile too because she sat back and sipped her beer quietly while Tace drank hers down. The moment Tace put the drink down Clarissa started talking again. She blurts out, “So what’s got you so wrapped around your own post?”

Tace scowled again, but there wasn’t much bite in it I don’t think. She gave a glare, but started to tell Clarissa about her day. She was mostly just upset because she’d had to

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work with another blacksmith today. She hates to do that. She hates the way they talk to her. She says all the men think they know better than her. I suppose I probably would too if I was them. Not many women know what they're doing in metalwork. Gets Tace real huffy though.

Clarissa, just as she did with me, listened intently to Tace’s tale. And when Tace was done and had ordered her second beer Clarissa put a hand on her knee! Clarissa touched Tace in a friendly way and Tace didn’t threaten to brand the woman! Tace just glanced at her knee, then at Clarissa and raised an eyebrow.

Tace said "Clarissa you know I'm not just some boy who'll fall for your charms cause you've got lovely hair?"

Clarissa giggled and said "Tace if you were a boy I wouldn't be interested."

This seemed to satisfy Tace who let the hand rest where it was as she started in on her second beer.

They kept up like this for some time. Back and forth until it seemed Tace’s sharp mood was dulled down. Clarissa’s hands kept drifting to leave gentle touches on Tace. I don’t know what they were

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talking about because I was on the other side of the bar helping someone else out, but every now and then they’d both start laughing and I couldn’t help but smile no matter what else I was doing. Tace has been the grumpiest person I know for so long, and with a life like hers she deserves a smile.

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August 6th

I am convinced that Tace is making a necklace for Clarissa. My evidence is:

Tace was fiddling with wire today, wrapping it around a pretty stone

Tace knows how to make really good jewelry which she sells to the local store since few women travel to her Smithy (Though I have heard rumor that Clarissa has begun to spend time there nearly every day).

Tace scowled when I asked what she was making and told me it was a gift.

When I asked who it was for she said it was for someone special. Everyone in town knows the only woman here who Tace bothers to socialize with is Clarissa. The only other people she’ll talk to are me and some of the other old men at the bar.

Therefore the only conclusion I can come to is that Tace is making a necklace for Clarissa. I think Clarissa will like the stone she has chosen. I don’t know much about pretty rocks, but it glinted just a little in the dim candlelight of my bar. When Clarissa wears it around town I bet it’ll glisten and gleam. What a sight she’ll be. A sight I’m sure Tace

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will appreciate. I suppose that might be the point. Clarissa gets a necklace and Tace gets a new excuse to look at Clarissa.

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August 11th

Tace and Clarissa sure stirred the pot of gossip tonight. I didn’t even know Tace knew how to wash her clothes. She had her hair behind her shoulders and her outfit looked nice. She didn’t sit at her normal spot at the bar. Instead she found an empty table and sat there. I walked over to her and asked her what she was doing over there. She said she was meeting a friend for dinner. About then is when I noticed the tin on the table. It was clearly a handcrafted tin. There was a small metal flower adorning the top.

Tace caught me staring and told me to knock it off. She said she’d wait to order dinner until her date arrived. I was shocked to hear she was on a date. She rolled her eyes rudely at me and told me it wasn’t that kind of date. Tace insists she will never date a man.

I was going to ask her another question, but her hand shot up to quiet me. I followed her gaze and saw Clarissa.

She was dressed as if she owned all the land in town. Her dress was long, yet the dirt along the ground had not dirtied it on the walk here. In the summer’s heat her dress had short sleeves, barely enough to cover her shoulders.

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It was gold like the sunrise. Rows of hues adorning a woman who I knew made her own clothes.

I’ve never been one to stare at a woman. This is not true of Tace and when I glanced back at her I found her eyes hadn’t strayed from Clarissa. Her mouth was slightly open and her pupils were wide.

I decided I should probably let them be.

I brought them the food they ordered shortly after that and kept my eye on them as they sat and talked all evening. Tace sat forward, her chin in her hand, while Clarissa regalled her with tales of the drama of the day. Clarissa, who it seems is unaware of how to sit still, moved forward and back with intrigue, her hands flitting about herself wherever emphasis was needed. After the meal was finished Tace pushed the tin toward Clarissa. She opened it with gleeful expectation and found the necklace Tace made for her.

I watched from behind the bar as Clarissa grew still and gentle. She set her hand on Tace’s upon the table and said something softly to her. Their conversation seemed gentle for a time. I forgot the pair was seated there until I heard the gentle chime of Clarissa’s laughter.

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Throughout the night they grew in volume again. Their conversation never stalling as other tables were fed and cleared and fed again.

When the end of the night came, they left their seats together, bid me farewell, and made their way out of the bar. Clarissa was wearing her new necklace and though they were not holding each other’s hands, their fingers brushed aside each other with every step.

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September 1st

I do not expect many things from Clarissa. She is a woman who can keep me on my toes. And I can say for certain I did not expect to learn that she is married. Her husband lives some ways away and pays for her to live here.

I suppose it is a sorrowful marriage. Or at least not a happy one, if she lives so far from him and only speaks of him when drunk. And she was quite drunk. She said he never permitted her to drink, though he drank himself. She said he would not approve of much of her social life. I left the conversation after that. I did not want to hear what her husband would think of her relationship to Tace.

Oh Tace. I will have to tell her tomorrow. I cannot keep her from knowing, and she deserves to know. Clarissa is so close to Tace, perhaps she has already revealed this part of herself. Yes. That is likely. She has likely already told Tace she has a husband. Her romantic entanglements are not my affair.

I shall do what I can to think nothing of it until I see Tace again. I shall ask her what she knows about Clarissa’s husband. That is all I can do. It does no good to speculate.

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September 2nd

I asked Tace about Clarissa’s husband this morning. It was quite awkward. It was clear immediately that she was not aware of this situation beforehand. Rather than be upset about it, Tace seemed to show no interest in the information. Well she pretended not to be interested. I could tell it bothered her though. Tace has warmed some in the past few months and I saw none of that warmth today. She didn’t speak much to me, except to request refills on her drink. She drank more than normal as well. Whenever I would glance over at her from across the room her shoulders were slumped over, as if she was about to fold herself onto the bar.

She stayed long enough to drink 4 beers and then left. I tried to have another word with her before she walked away, but she either ignored me or didn’t hear me.

Clarissa came in shortly after she left.

I asked Clarissa if she had seen Tace when she walked in.

She said she had, but that Tace didn’t respond to her greeting. She seemed confused.

After some prodding, I realized Clarissa had forgotten she had made it known to the bar last night that she has a husband.

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When I reminded her of this, she dropped her head until it hit the table. She moaned, “Why did I bring up that man? I had escaped him. Why would I bring him up here?”

I brought her a beer and she told me her story.

As it turns out, Clarissa was originally from Petersburg a little way north of here. Her father owned land and farmed. She had three older brothers, all of whom married pretty women. When she came of age her father and mother began to find a man for her to marry. Despite her knowledge of the town's gossip, she had never heard of David Edwardson.

David Edwardson, the son of a wealthier landowner from several towns away, was cordial and respectful toward Clarissa’s father. They courted for three weeks before a deal was made between the men, and Clarissa was engaged to David. She had met him twice by this point and he had been rather flat. She claims the first time they met he said no more than 25 words to her. The second time they met he only spoke to the other people in the room and paid

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her nearly no mind.

Throughout their engagement she saw little of him. It seemed to her he had no more interest in being her husband than she did in being his wife. The distance between their homes was crossed frequently by traders, so they could send a few letters back and forth. She said her letters were long and full of information about her life, her interests, and questions she hoped he would answer. His letters contained short answers to her questions. Often only a few words, even for her more detailed questions. Not one of his responses took up a full page of the paper.

Things didn’t improve for her once they were wed. She, by her own account, was driven to near insanity by his boring tone. He had enough fortune that he did not need to work on the land himself. Despite his free time he held no social events. He would rarely permit her to attend events out of the home either. Her days were spent alone at home, with only her dull husband and her sewing to entertain her. She read as many books as she could get her hands on in the early days of their marriage, learning to read in an attempt to escape her dull existence.

Until her children. Her first son was born 3 years into the marriage, and they had 2

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more shortly after. They occupied every aspect of her life for the better part of two decades. David would allow her on social excursions if they were made under the guise of his- son’s well being. She was pacified while her sons were young. According to Clarissa, life was good for about two decades, even if her marriage was still more cordial than any friendship.

Two years ago, shortly after her 50th birthday, Clarissa buried her youngest son.

He was 23 and he was her world. Her older boys had moved away to live with their wives. Clarissa became distraught with grief. I remember how she described this time.

She said, “For a year afterward I locked myself away and tore down relationships with my other sons. I couldn’t bear to love them when I could no longer love them all. My life was back to myself and my husband. My son’s never visited and I didn’t blame them. I became as terrible of a mother as David was a husband.

“For the past year I’ve been begging David to buy me a house in a new town. I needed to reset. 2 months ago he gave in.”

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I knew the rest of the story. She’d moved into our town and met Tace the same day. She’s started fresh.

By the time Clarissa was done telling me her tale I had other patrons to tend to. I kept coming back to her throughout the night though. I told her I was sorry for her loss. I told her I was glad she’d found our town because I enjoyed her company. I told her she was fun to talk to. I asked if she thought her husband would make her come back home. She shrugged at that. I asked why she hadn’t told us about him. She shrugged at that too. I think she was done talking for the night.

Clarissa, as I know her, is a good listener and a great story teller. She’ll talk to anyone who sits down next to her and listen to their tales.

She left early tonight and settled her tab. She told me she didn’t want to get drunk again.

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September 6th

I haven’t seen Clarissa in several days, but Tace came in and sat at the bar today. She was grumpy as ever. Well, as grumpy as she is when Clarissa isn’t around.

I wasn’t brave, but the man next to her was. I think it was Peter who asked her how she was. When she grunted he pushed on and said, "I heard Clarissa is married. Wouldn't have guessed that."

I was cleaning a glass nearby and I froze. I could hardly breathe when I saw the glare she fixed him with. Her dark brown eyes clouded with rage and her already grumpy demeanor stilled into a rock wall of anger.

She growled, "Why would I care about the fact that she's married?"

Peter cowered back some and took another sip of his drink. He murmured something, but I didn’t catch what it was. Tace fixed him with another glare then turned forward again. She kept her eyes away from Peter. I accidentally caught them with my own for a moment. She narrowed them at me. I looked away and didn’t naively inquire about Clarissa.

Tace didn’t speak to anyone for the rest of the night.

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September 14th

Tace was at the bar again today. I haven't written it down, but she’s started coming in daily again. I think upon her visit last week she realized Clarissa isn’t coming around anymore and decided to start up her old routine. Well that worked fine for her for a few days, but Clarissa must have heard she had a routine again because she also stopped by this afternoon.

I got a little nervous when I saw her walk in the door. I’d heard from Sal that they’d shouted at each other when this first began. It took the gossip a bit to travel, but apparently after I told Tace that Clarissa had a husband the two had gotten quite loud about it near Tace’s shop. I didn’t want any screaming here, not before dinner was done being served.

I finished up the beer I was serving at one end of the bar and walked to the other where Tace was sitting. I planned to send them outside if things began to get confrontational.

Clarissa walked right up to Tace. The latter didn’t notice until she was right

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beside her. Clarissa made no move to sit down. She simply waited until she had Tace’s attention and said, “I know you’re upset with me, but I thought you’d want to know I’m heading home.”

Tace scoffed and said, “Why would I care what you’re up to today?”

Clarissa sighed and said, “Not that home. I’m headed back to live with David.”

Now this caught Tace’s attention and she put down her beer. “When? Why are you doing that?” She asked with urgency.

“Tomorrow. He wrote to me. His mother is ill. He says it is my duty as his wife to be beside him during this,” Clarissa explained. She closed her eyes while she said this. Before that I’d struggled to imagine what she had been like when she was locked up in his house. Now I think I have a clue. There was no emotion on her face. It was relaxed save for her lower lip which she pulled into her mouth to keep it from trembling.

When she opened her eyes after a moment of silence she saw Tace in front of her. I don’t know what Tace was thinking. She’s always been harder to read.

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Clarissa wears her heart on her sleeve, Tace buries hers much deeper. Tace’s eyes flitted over Clarissa’s face.

After such a pause I expected Tace to ask her to stay, or to bid her farewell. She did not. All she said was, “Okay,” before turning back to the counter.

Clarissa stared for a moment at Tace’s shoulder. Her face betrayed her confusion as several emotions passed over her face. She softly said, “Goodbye,” and left the pub.

The door shut behind her.

Tace’s shoulder’s sagged.

I probably ought not to have gotten involved. I don’t like to tell people’s secrets. I let the gossip come in, but I try not to spread it around. I made an exception today.

I leaned on the counter in front of Tace and told her, “Clarissa doesn’t love him. She never did.”

Tace scoffed, but didn’t look up at me as she said, “I don’t care about him. She’s married. She didn’t tell me that.”

“Have you asked her why?” I asked.

“Doesn’t matter,” She muttered, taking another sip of beer, “What do you care anyway.”

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“I care about you, Tace,” I told her. And I do. I wasn’t lying.

I’ve known Tace since we were kids. We were never close friends, but you don’t spend your whole life noticing someone without wanting them to be happy.

“Ask her why,” I told Tace, “Go find her and ask her why. Before she leaves and doesn’t come back.”

This got Tace’s attention, “You don’t think she’ll come back?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know if her husband will let her.”

“He let her come here in the first place,” Tace argued.

I nodded, “He did. But that took a lot. I bet it’d take a lot for her to be let away from him again.”

“What do you mean,” She asked. Apparently what I had to say actually did matter to Tace. Or maybe Clarissa just did.

“I can’t tell you that, Tace. Clarissa told me about him and about their marriage, but I don’t feel comfortable spreading that. That’s her story.”

Tace nodded, even as she grumbled about it. She knew my stance on gossip.

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I let her sit and stew for a minute until someone down the bar asked for a refill. Then I told her, “Go talk to Clarissa, ask her why before she leaves, or you might never know,” and walked away.

I kept Tace in the corner of my eye and refilled her drink when she needed it. She stayed until the tavern got busy. She left sometime during the rush of people. I lost sight of her while I took the order for Frankie and Kellie at the corner table. When I glanced back up she’d left. I don’t know where she went.

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September 15

Clarissa hasn’t left town yet and I now doubt she will.

She and Tace came in together. They were holding hands! The pair of them walked over to the bar and sat down. Tace sat in her normal seat and Clarissa sat beside her. When I walked up Clarissa gave me her brilliant smile. She ordered a beer for herself and for Tace. Tace rolled her eyes at being ordered for, but didn’t say anything.

I served them their drinks and went to bring food to Joseph and his wife. By the time I returned to the bar Clarissa was in the midst of a story. It wasn’t as bright and loud as it had been in the past. I admit I eavesdropped some while I poured another fellow a drink. I couldn’t hear much, as Clarissa’s voice was softer than normal, but I think it was about her son.

Tace listened intently. Her eyebrows knit together as she took in every word Clarissa was saying and tried to figure out what she wasn’t saying.

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One time when I glanced over there was a tear rolling down Clarissa’s face. I looked away, not wanting to intrude on their moment, but not before I saw Tace reach up and brush the tear away.

Only a few minutes after that I passed by and saw them leaning gently towards each other, their foreheads almost touching. Clarissa appeared to be crying, and Tace was trying to comfort her. Tace had one hand rested on Clarissa’s arm and the other on her cheek. Words passed the inches between their faces.

They stayed to the end of the night, slowly drinking beer and perking up. By the time I closed Clarissa, with a slight pink to her cheeks, was joyful and vibrant again. She was telling a story about an old neighbor’s cat with bursts of energy and large gestures. Tace watched and listened, smiling and nodding along.

It wasn’t like before though. When Tace used to listen, she would pretend to be annoyed. It had been as though she had thought if she showed too much interest Clarissa would fly away to find someone else to impress.

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There is something more settled between them now.

Outroduction (is that a word?)

Thank you for reading! I’ve found some other queer stories amongst the old records I look through online. I’ll try to post them regularly so if you want to see more LGBTQ+ people existing, feel free to follow me!

#lgbtq story #queer story #lgbtq+ story #short story #epistolary #your honor they're gay #queer triple a #an assumptive anthology #gay romance #lgbt romance #tavern #tavern romance #gay tavern romance #1700s romance #lesbians #journal #gay journal #historical fiction #historical romance

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