#aren't ppl tired of being upset all the time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

captainmera · 2 months

Text

Depression has hit me really hard, and a lot of things are happening at the same time.

I'm simultaneously burnt out and on the verge of a collapse, but like... I can't really do anything about it. I'm just sort of waiting for the stick to break so I can work thru it and move along.

I can't even focus on important things like replying to mails without my brain circumventing into something else.

Avpd and burnout is putting me in a constant brain fog these days. And severe maladaptive daydreaming.

I'm trying to be social and grounded, but I feel like everything around me is drowned in mist, and when I speak, it's through molasses.

I know I'm disappointing ppl by putting certain things on hold, like fanfics, my comic, or asks. But I just can't do it r/n. it will come in whatever speed it comes at.

And frankly I'm just too fried and tired to extend more than a sigh of empathy to your frustration with me. I understand you, I do. But I'm just some guy. I'm not getting paid. I'm broke and tired, and I can't be arsed to even be upset.

Atm, I'm doing this Caleb-focused comic mainly just to do something else than hyperventilate or maladaptive daydream. It's helping me have some control over what I disappear into, something physical, rather than sit on the floor and stare off into space.

I could do it for ibwr, I should be putting that energy there.

But there's some stressful things going on there with contracts and whatnot that's put a damper on things. Money is stressful. At least a stressful damper. So it's difficult to concentrate on it with that humming in the background, y'know?

Anyway.

Bear with me, please. I know people are impressed by my productivity and speed - but it's not so impressive once you know I'm just unwell and trying to cope. I also have a lot of time on my hands.

I'm fine, really, I am. /GEN I just can't do four projects at once. I can do two tops. And right now it's the caleb comic and IBWR. That's it.

I'm aware it's not super great to work so much when I'm burnt out.

But know that I'm choosing one pest lesser than another greater pest. So the constant "REST!!" Comments aren't, like, fantastic. I just feel ashamed for not being better than I am or being able to practice what I preach.

Lo and behold, being mentally unwell and not being wholesome healthy about it. Who would've known it is complicated to be unwell, actually? /LHJ /GEN /notSarcasm

I know I don't owe anybody anything. But I just kinda wanted to have a sigh and vague-post-gesture at what I'm standing in to the void of the Internet.

Because I do get comments and asks asking where an update is, or why I didn't draw their ask, or why I'm putting energy in X instead of Y, etc.

So I'm just......... I'm just gonna like....... ignore it. It's not personal.

I love and appreciate your love for my work, I really do. Thank you for all of your excitement and your feedback. Its been a delight. /GEN

But... I'm just gonna have to ignore what the majority of people crave from me and do what I want in the pace I need to do it.

okay? :(

Look. Just allow it fam.

Just allow it.

Using memes to try to communicate some essence of lightheartedness.

#liveblogging

81 notes · View notes

hamartia-grander · 9 months

Text

Tired of ppl erasing Leon's flaws. Anyway, resident evil 4 remake analysis:

The funny thing with the remake is, they didn't actually write out Leon's misogyny from the og; they simply recontextualised it. He no longer says "following a lady's lead just isn't my style", but he DOES say "maybe you aren't heartless after all" to a woman who's saved his life and the life of Ashley countless of times. Hell, Ada is the reason Leon lives past Mendéz, she's the reason he finds Ashley again, she's the reason he is able to find anything in that place, and he still has the audacity to act like she doesn't care, or worse, that she's completely heartless, just because he got his wittol feewings huwt.

Leon's so selfishly caught up in making it entirely personal, even when she established that it wasn't, that he's letting his butthurt feelings literally warp his perception of her into something monstrous. He is quite literally the "one woman wronged me in the slightest way so I will distrust and despise her forever but actually it was just my entitled ass demanding more than she ever consented to give" kind of incel. All she did was kiss him in re2r, she NEVER said it meant anything, or that - fucking hell - she'd be committing to him in any way. I mean the very fact that she should have shot him to get the sample but didn't should be the biggest proof, to the audience and to Leon, that she truly cares and just didn't want him to get caught up in her work, which she actively recognises is not morally sound work.

Also, Leon never once stopped to care about or consider her own turmoil about it?? Every time they talked it was about his feelings and his sense of betrayal and "or are you just using me again", it was never about her. She cares more about him than he cares about her and it breaks my heart. He only cares about himself in this situation, he only cares about how Ada's actions affected him through his own lens, he only cares about his own hurt and doesn't stop for a second to consider hers. He doesn't see Ada as her own person, he sees her for what she could do for, or to, him. He sees her as a projection of who he wanted her to be, not as a person. And that's misogyny at its core.

And as for the fans ignoring every wrong thing Leon has ever done, and instead hating Ada for doing nothing wrong, that too is misogyny :)

Edit to add: it's most clear in how Leon treats Krauser in the exact opposite way. Despite Krauser being a power hungry maniac who killed Luis in front of Leon, Leon still appeals to Krauser's honour, he still tries to put himself in Krauser's shoes and says he "understands" the pain and betrayal Krauser must have felt. And these are all normal, natural reactions to seeing someone you used to respect and admire fall short. But the point is, he reacts this way with Krauser because he saw Krauser as a human being capable of good, whereas he only saw Ada as a projection of who he wanted her to be, and when she wasn't actually like that, he hated her for it.

Capcom's misogyny infects everything they make, and while they genuinely tried making Leon no longer misogynistic, this kinda thing still slipped through because Capcom only sees Ada as a romantic extension of Leon.

Edit again: Another thing is that just because you might think something is in character for Leon/makes sense for him to feel/act a certain way, that doesn't inherently mean he's right to. Like, Leon's an unreliable narrator a LOT of the time - anyone who has survivor's guilt like he does is gonna be. Just because you think it "makes sense" or you understand why he'd be upset, doesn't mean he's in the right to treat Ada the way he did. Leon was also understandably upset with Krauser and his actions, even saying Krauser "won't get away with this", and yet he still approaches Krauser with respect, and tries to empathise with Krauser's experiences. I just need people to understand that this double standard from Leon is obvious and misogynistic, that's all.

#leon kennedy #Ada Wong #resident evil #resident evil 4 remake #resident evil 4 #re4 #re4 remake #leon s kennedy #re4r #resident evil analysis #re4 analysis #this is an Ada Wong defence account #leon stans there's no hope for you is there

63 notes · View notes

eulchu · 6 months

Note

Just from what I've gleaned: They did something that fucked with/removed an accessibility setting, multiple CCs have either expressed frustration (Tubbo yelled at chat earlier) or have announced they're taking a break, chathoppers are getting worse and the mods aren't happy, spreen's character got labelled as dead without his knowledge (he didn't care but. still), and a lot of the fans are not enjoying it because it's apparently super angsty and their CCs aren't having a good time. The last part got back to the admins and apparently hurt their feelings, and q went live and basically guilt-tripped his audience

Oh also he apparently bribed rubius to come back. you know, the guy who went on a transphobic rant like two weeks ago

There's more I'm sure but this is what has broken containment and made its way back to me

anon 2: yeah multiple ppl have made statements saying they're not streaming because "You all know why" and that they don't think its fair they should be harassed for competing. Ppl are getting harassed for being too good, for being not good at certain things,, for even just having a glitch and ppl are harassing them for "cheating" it's BAD

anon 3: Yup once again at a time good for South America and USA so french ppl are mad. They've paused lore and the teams are very favourable to Spanish streamers so it seems like Q is trying to lure people like spreen and rubius back again. This has upset other CCs, the French streamers are annoyed they're having to be up at 3am and etoile got fed and up and dropped out, cellbit apparently said he was probably going to drop out due to the uneven teams, fans are going insanely toxic about the competition aspect and Tubbo yelled at his chat again, CCs are already complaining about being tired because it goes on for so long every day (apparently foolish and Tina looked dead by the end yesterday), Quackity had to go live to tell fans to chill and also talked about how it was disappointing people weren't giving the competition long to breathe and we're just giving up already etc

Two days in, of a two week event 😁

o_O

#ok to clear up the misconception im pretty sure the transphobic tirade cc you're talking about was vegetta #if rubius said something that i missed im gonna be tremendously disappointed LOL feel free to correct me kf r #if rubius said something too #anywah INSANE #asknootfound #long post

24 notes · View notes

splatoon-edits · 8 months

Note

kinda random but i hope you have a ton of fun this upcoming splatfest!!! people online are being a lil particularly nasty about this one and i think it's super important to remember that we are all just playing a game about cephalopods painting the floor!! so yk have fun with it and if it gets stressful you can take a break no one is stopping you<33 do something and chill out then get back to painting the floor for your team when and if you feel like it

people always get kinda mean during splatfests but we're all just playing a game together. and i hope everyone has fun no matter what team ends up winning :3

sorry for the block of text i just wanna see people being silly and cheering eachother on. not sending threats cause they chose a certain fella to paint the floor about

Yeah no i totally agree!!! Splatfests are supposed to be a fun joke rivalry amongst all us fans where we get to have fun and paint things! It's like a festival!!! It's for fun!!!!!

I will never understand people who get genuinely upset about these. If you're not having fun: take a break! Too many gold aerosprays back to back? Take a break! Tired of too much turf war? Take a break? Seen the 200th missile spamming reeflux of the splatfest? Take. A. Break!!!!!! The whole point is to have a good time! If ya aren't having a good time you aren't doing it right!

I'll admit i don't have fun after a certain point of playing way too much turf back to back. So i just stop playing for a bit and have fun doing smth else and then when i want to play again i do. This blog has honestly been great for that cuz in those moments where i really like the idea of splatoon but am not actively having fun playing it i can come and work on edits!

And honestly i will never understand ppl who get genuinely mean over stuff like this. I have lost so many splatfests recently (dark chocolate, aliens, wisdom, mint chip, love) but i still look forward to splatfests every time! Winning or losing doesn't matter to me. Sure i like winning, but honestly sometimes losing is funnier. And like the memories of the splatfest and everything that happened in the community during that time is way more fun to look back on then a win. I like all the silly jokes. I like the joking rivalries. I like the hesitant alliances. I like the squid party mirror matches. I like the joking insults. I don't care about who actually wins or loses.

Idk i just rambled so much but i feel like so many people don't understand that the whole point of this is to have fun!!! Thank you so much for the nice words and i hope you have a blast as well!! :3

#mod shiver #mod speaks

10 notes · View notes

reilleclan-blog · 10 months

Text

I genuinely haven't fallen in love with a universe and most of its characters in such a long time. I think since "life is strange 1&2"

If u don't know cause u aren't a minority/aren't white and queer, the world is very very adamant on not giving u(me) representation whatsoever. So when I played games like cp77 I felt like I could be "seen" but also the world could be "seen" differently. I still have my issues with an all white game production that doesn't "accurately depict" most stuff. But sometimes to enjoy certain media I have to "overlook" these things. I genuinely hope in the future these companies hire more poc/black ppl I hope. Because aren't y'all bored of seeing the same pink ppl ruling over everything and trying to tell stories that fall flat with dif minorities? Well I am(lIS true colors*cough cough*) And also it's just a good perspective to have and know not everyone in the world hailed from the caucus mountains(even though white ppl ain't even that) lol no shade but it's true.. anyways I'm kinda joking if u took it serious uhhh that's on u I guess. Anyways stay safe out there and if u are being reckless stay "safe reckless"

Also I want to add on yes I overlook certain stuff but if I'm speaking out on an issue I have for example, cyberpunk cosplayers that are non black, using braids box braids, dreads or anything type of hair style they know their thin hair can't pull off ummm I'm going to say something about it. Unfortunately a lot of these cosplayers are quick to throw a hairstyle on for their "cosplay" their "costume" hear me?? Their COSTUME. U know something u dress up as then take off when it's convenient? I'm not going back and forth with anyone if u aren't black , respectfully stop putting box braids, dreads , cornrows, bantu knots, etc. in ur head. Black ppl can't take off being black so why should u be able to take off our hairstyles for a day for a shit ass cosplay and "yeah it's shit" if u are taking ppls culture ( I don't make the rules I just enforce them ) anyways ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY when white ppl are constantly pushed to the front of everything(yes, even when they are mediocre ashell) and when black ppl specifically make cosplays y'all ridicule them and make fun of them saying "that character's not black🤓" lookin ass. No shit they "aren't" black they also ain't real they ALSO AINT WHITE AND AGAIN DONT EVEN DEPICT A RACE AT ALL UNLESS CLEARLY THEY MADE TO LOOK "white" or "black". I'm just so tired of ignorant ass ppl. And if anything about what I said upsets u then get the fuck off my page and grow a pair soft ass mfs hate hearing anything close to the truth. The proof is in the dumpster fire pot of a damn country.

#cyberpunk #anime #cyberpunk 2077 #judy alvarez #male v cyberpunk #panam palmer #virtual photography #cyberpunk edgerunners #cosplay

6 notes · View notes

golbrocklovely · 1 year

Note

I hate how Colby fans are the one who hurt him the most. I don’t like Brennen and i do not watch his videos, but the clip of his I think recent one with Colby popped out on my fyp on tik tok. In that clip B started a subject about snc fans saying that he is trying to separate those two and have colby for himself. And yk what did hurt me the most? Colby reaction to B comment “i am just hanging out with him and I suddenly i am hated on” or smth like that . Yk what Colby said to those words? He said : “This is what happens when you are around me”. Men is hurt, he cannot peacefully be around anyone and enjoy having some new friends without people sending hate to those people. I bet that deep inside him he blames himself for that, even tho he knows it’s not his fault.

I just wish that C fans would stop being children. Let this adult men live his own life the way he wants. And live him and other people out of your hateful asses. If you don’t like someone around him, just ignore it. I don’t like f.e Brennen too… but do I send him hate ? No. Because this is like such a waste of time. Why should I waste my time on people I don’t even like?

i agree with you for the most part. that being said, brennen is an outlier. he didn't start getting hate bc of colby's fans. he got hate bc ppl found out what he's done. while obviously there are fans that go overboard, any negativity getting sent his way is his own fault.

don't be a shitty person and expect ppl to love you 🤷🏻‍♀️

but as for everyone else (for the most part), yeah. i don't get this fandom sometimes. part of me thinks that it's just internet culture at this point to just pointlessly hate on ppl you don't like bc they're around your fav. like, idk if these fans realize that you aren't benefitting yourself or the other person by being a hater. and also, you don't have to share every thought that goes on in your head. if you don't like someone, you can keep it to yourself, especially if you plan to be a dick about it lol

i've said it before: snc are some of the most loving/positive ppl and yet they bring in the most hateful fans sometimes. it's very strange. it's like some of these fans don't actually listen to snc.

i will say tho that there is a major difference between those that hate and those that criticize. like some of the anons i have on here will constantly get tired of colby and his revolving door of ppl that use him, only for him to tweet out that he's tired of being used. that's a criticism. but, outwardly hating on those ppl and saying they're ugly or constantly following their every move just to be upset when they do something… that's hate.

but i think sometimes we all have to do what you said and just accept that colby is gonna make choices we don't agree with it, whether or not it goes against what he's said previously.

he'll learn eventually or shut out everyone trying.

#ask #personal #you know what imma tag him #colby brock

13 notes · View notes

birlwrites · 1 year

Note

hi! it's me, the person who had the very confusing birthday! uh so i got dumped which in and of itself, I'm not v upset abt (it needed to happen, we just aren't v compatible as a couple, and if he didn't break up w me, I would've broken up w him), but I am a bit upset it happened on my birthday :/// but I digress!

im really curious about how the light scions will view regulus's side, vs Dumbledore's! I know that in ur previous posts, you've talked abt how Sirius hasn't even told his friends abt the dark arts, and I just thought it would be fascinating to hear what u had to say abt, say, James and Remus, and how they feel abt Dumbledore. for the marauders, I'm pretty sure Sirius being on regulus's side will make all the difference, but that also makes me curious about light scions who aren't friends w Sirius or regulus?

I know this is probably not going to happen for a while but I also can't wait to see how Dumbledore would react to there being a third side, and how he might change his recruitment strategy to account for ppl who are sympathetic to muggleborns, but aren't against the dark arts

getting dumped on your birthday does seem like it would sting. yikes. my sympathies for that, but also yay for something happening that needed to happen!

ohohohohoHO alright so first of all - i'm not going to talk much in this response about how dumbledore is going to react to there being a third side. you're correct that it's not going to happen for a while, and tbqh how he reacts depends a LOT on the shape of regulus's side by the time that dumbledore finally finds out about it

which is an elaborate way of me saying that like. i have the general sketch of how dumbledore's going to respond, but it's not fleshed out enough for me to really be able to ramble about it afjlsghskfj - i leave my outlines very flexible because i make a lot of decisions as i write, and i'm just not close enough to that point yet to really know how it's going to go

okay but now back to the first part of your question! namely: if you believe that dark arts are bad/evil/wrong/associated with blood purists........ how do you view regulus's side versus dumbledore's?

i'm going to start with james and remus because oh my god fASCINATING. (these are the things i think about in class)

first james: as you've said, sirius being on reg's side will make all the difference for him, tbh. or like, enough of it. but let's say - look, james is part of the sacred 28, okay? he's part of that fraction of the sacred 28 that isn't part of the dark network, but he is still sacred 28, his father is still in the wizengamot, his family still attends society events, and--okay my point here is that james has grown up learning some THINGS about house black.

and also about dumbledore.

let me bullet point these out:

house black:

super old, *pristine* bloodline, to the point of disowning people who marry blood traitors

dark arts follow them like a shadow - centuries ago, the blacks were rather open about practicing them, and nobody's forgotten

uptight power-hungry purist assholes, mostly

dumbledore:

defeated grindelwald, an incredibly powerful dark wizard (and fanatical blood purist, no surprises there), which catapulted him into legend status

uses his positions as headmaster of hogwarts and... y'know, whatever sway he has at the ministry (my brain is tired and i haven't so much as breathed on canon in quite some time ajfslkghkdf) to champion muggleborn rights and fight against blood purist institutions

a whimsical fellow :)

oh, and some context on dumbledore's role in the war - of course *we* know he's the head of the order, and regulus knows he's the head of the order, and voldemort knows he's the head of the order, but most people don't know about that. the order of the phoenix is a vigilante group - they may share common goals with the DMLE, but they're still operating underground, so it's not a Known Thing that dumbledore is in charge of them. (not that it surprises anyone who learns the truth, because again, legend status, government sway, etc)

so that's james's background information on the leaders of these two sides. also, he does not like regulus on a personal level, for reasons i went into........... somewhere.

oh my god afsjlghdkfj this is going to have to be multiple posts. i can't go into detail about james's thought process on this post and then also talk about remus and then also talk about most of the general population of hogwarts and also magical britain, it will be a dissertation

the important thing to note with james is that he has never, ever been put into a situation in which he needs to question his own belief that dark arts = evil. sirius is bending over backwards to keep james from needing to question that (although sirius is mainly doing it to protect himself - and that's not to say that james is completely blissfully unaware of sirius being a tad uncomfortable around the topic of dark arts, but that's a whole other post). so james's first impression of regulus's side will be....... let's call it Not Positive. (and he does interpret dumbledore's side as The Good Ones)

but people practicing dark arts are different from dark *creatures*, aren't they? moony can't help being what he is...

which brings me to remus!!

remus got the same messaging that james did about house black and dumbledore, but it wasn't nearly as strong for him, because that's just.... not the world he moves in. like, yeah yeah yeah, some of the noble houses do/have done bad shit, the headmaster of hogwarts beat a dark wizard in a duel. he knows all of the same INFORMATION that james does, it's just that remus didn't grow up around these people, so it always kind of remained in distant mental territory, you know?

remus is a dark creature, which doesn't make him pro-dark arts. not at all, actually. he can't help what he is, and he never had that choice, and it boggles his mind that some people CHOOSE ~the dark side~. he associates that with pain and suffering and just bad things in general, on a very visceral level

oh and here's another thing that's going to give remus even more trouble: he owes a LOT to dumbledore. dumbledore permitted remus to attend hogwarts, which means dumbledore gave remus access to friends, magical education, a shot at eking out some sort of non-awful existence in the magical world, and most importantly, dumbledore TRUSTED remus to use this chance wisely

(i think dumbledore did genuinely want remus to have the same opportunities as other magical kids his age, or at least as close to that as possible. i also think dumbledore was very, very aware of the debt of gratitude he was incurring upon remus, and his family, by making this happen - he just wasn't sure what would come of it. then the war broke out, and he was like 'ah yes perfect i could use a werewolf who feels indebted to me')

so remus has a lot of trouble with the idea of dark arts being something good or desirable, and he also has a lot of trouble with the idea of going against dumbledore's side - not the order necessarily, i specifically mean *dumbledore's* side.

and sirius being on regulus's side does make a huge difference, but remus is wrestling with some very gut-wrenching internalizations here, and that's never easy

with regard to everyone else:

i think the perception of 'dark arts = blood purity' is so strongly interwoven into magical culture that when Normal People™ find out about regulus's side, their first reaction is going to be HUGE amounts of cognitive dissonance, because 'wait what do you mean they're doing both, that's impossible/ridiculous/contradictory--isn't it?'

which means regulus's side coming out into the open (which will not happen for Quite some time) will *really* shake the foundation of the war, in a way that will not please voldemort or dumbledore. both voldemort and dumbledore (and the sides they represent) benefit from this dichotomy, and when regulus fucks it up, he fucks up a LOT of their strategies for recruitment, image, rhetoric, etc.

suddenly, things are possible that weren't supposed to be possible. the world is different. and voldemort and dumbledore do NOT APPRECIATE THAT

#i have done all the logistic shenanigans i must do #turning in forms and such #FOR NOW.#should i make an inbox tag #dark lord wip #afjskghskfh this post is so much and yet comes nowhere near covering everything

9 notes · View notes

jehovahhthickness · 1 year

Note

Hi, I'm currently in a 2 yr relationship with this guy an Aquarius and I hate how social he is. He's always on the phone talking to friends or online being a internet troll. Theres always some friend visiting out of town or one of them asking him to go to some event on another state. Like rn he has a friend visiting that he's going out with this evening I don't want to come off insecure or controlling or jealous but I hate it. Even when I call him at work he's on a call with one of them. His phone is constantly ringing because some friend is calling and they gets upset if he doesn't reach out often or accuse him.of neglecting them for out relationship. I feel like he's a ppl pleaser. We were driving out of town the other day and the entire time his phone kept ringing one friend calling after another. I have friends but mines aren't that clingy and if I complain I know he's going to say I'm being clingy. But I'm considering ending the relationship because of this, I feel like he has all the time in the world for his friends by time he has time for us he's too tired mentally to give me any of his time. It's super annoying what should I do?

I would complain.

What if he doesn’t know that this is an issue and it’s getting to you?

What if you did express all of this to him and he does give you the attention that you need?

You know what you were signing up for because it’s been 2 years, baby….

He ain’t gonna stop being sociable and popular because you don’t like that his hotline is always blinging.

I think you’re being super unfair.

2 notes · View notes

acaiasahi · 1 year

Note

WOOHOOO I FINISHED MY EXAMS !!!!!

other than that, i just found out that ppl were making more rumours abt me and this senior i went to camp w 😭 nah cuz why is there so many rumours of me dawgg 💀 and who's the one starting them 🤨

anyways, how r u?? <33

- 🌱

yayyy congrats!!! tell me how they went when u get results back!!! <333

it's gotta b someone who dislikes u or smth bc 1) there's nthn wrong w dating lots of ppl at ur age!!! (even if u aren't dating), ur young n shiii, no reason to be tied down n if i wanna b, nthn wrong w that either!!! do what u want, this person doesn't have a life... n also doesn't slay as hard as u, obviously!!! 😭

cw: rant, racist/toxic/annoying-ass coworker 😭

doing okay, my coworker (she/her) at my boba spot is fr putting me in a weird position bc she js got broken up w their partner (they/them), n ngl, my coworker's crazy af like she needa go to therapy frfr. she told me that one time, she js started crying randomly and hid in her car while hanging out w her s/o n when her s/o came out to check on her, she locked them out even tho she said she wanted their company??? and another situation, she got upset over the amt of gifts she got for her anniversary... n her s/o still gave a thoughtful gift bc it was smth that he liked n assumed she would like too n she was being a total bitch abt it 😭 n this one time, she started crying while her partner was DEPRESSED and made it abt herself like BOIII 😭😭😭

she also keeps asking me if we're friends to the point where we can hang outside of work n... no, not to b mean but i don't view her as a friend, js a coworker that's easy to talk to. she trauma dumps on me and only talks abt autism or neurodiverse topics n makes self deprecating jokes that yas r funny at times but not all the time. she wants constant reassurance from me, it gets tiring. one day, we were talking abt kpop n i told her that i don't rly like skz music one way or the other, i could care less if someone else did but i js don't like their music n i think that's valid/don't need to explain myself but anyway, she literally said "how do u not like skz music but i like nct's??? their music is literally shit, basically bg noise" n i was so upset n take aback bc i didn't even shit on skz's music, i js said i didn't like it, didn't even say "hate" lime what??? 😭😭 n she constantly shits on bts' newer music that's obviously targeted towards international folks like fuck off AND she's racist too bc this one older filipina lady came in and it was obvi from the get that english was not her first language n so i had to slowly speak her thru the menu, the milk options we have, etc. and by the time we made the drink, wished her a good day, and she left, my coworker literally was like "omfg could she speak any fucking slower" n i was like "well, be open minded bc eng is not her first language, obvi." n my coworker fr said "well eng isn't my first language n i don't suck 😐" GIRL BFFRRRRRKFDISN OMG N THIS ONE TIME I HEARD HER HELPING A CUSTOMERS IN SPANISH N I WAS LIKE "oooh when did u learn spanish," n she deadass said "my s/o's mexican, i have to learn it" AND HER PAETNER DOESNT EVEN SPEAK SPANIS H TO HERRENEIDNSKWMEK SHES JUST A BASKET OF RACIST OMFG

ANYWAYS SORRY FOR THE RANT BUT TY IF U MADE OT THIS FAR 😭😭😭😭

#[ 💭 ] asks.#[ 🌱 ] anon.#[ 🫙 ] anons.#[ 📢 ] answered.#[ 🎲 ] rants.

3 notes · View notes

hamgurber00 · 2 months

Text

tw; teenager talking about her father in a quite harsh way (also her mom), noise sensitivity ig, not being able to recover from dad shouting at her, just overall useless rambling and venting

i (sometimes) feel like my dad feels superior to my mom just because he's like an engineer something and my mom's a teacher. he says he's always working on something, like, sir, you can't work all five days off the week and go out to get beer and watch the total shit show of a game called football on some restaurant's tv while screaming and shouting and not spend the same, SAME AMOUNT OF TIME WITH YOUR WIFE AND KIDS. i feel like he's been guilt tripping (or whatever ppl call it) my mom to do stuff (for my sister and me when we asked him) by saying "but i work all five days for blah blah blah hours and it tires me" or something along those lines while being able to shout at our tv about how shitty his team is playing football and making me, my sister and my mom uncomfortable. that man also has the audacity to call me dramatic when i tell him that the noise from the tv bother me while im trying to sleep (since i sleep in like a balcony that's connected to the living room). it's like he's being annoying on purpose. because no, im not happy to listen to your goddamn show about some mentally ill lady with her two autistic and three unstable kids trying to kill their father, that's fucking pathetic. so shut the fuck up and go to sleep or watch it in the kitchen, you dumb imbecile. it's not that deep you drama king. fucking smashed testicle of a dead cat. he spends more time outside than with his wife. im not even talking about his kids. he really upsets and has the nerve to call me a drama queen. ME? A DRAMA QUEEN? i doubt that pathetic excuse of a man has ever met someone dramatic. im going harsh on him, i know, but he really gets me upset. especially me, a really introverted and awkward person who's afraid of rejection and disapproval, talks about their feelings for once in two years finally opens up and his only response is "you're being dramatic, it's not that deep.". it is, to me. i just wish he could see how that impacted me and i've been upset for two days already. i hate disapproval, but my feelings aren't validated, let alone noticed in the household im supposed to feel safe and seen in. my mom doesn't help much, either, she does tell me im dramatic. she also tells me that im just learning how to behave by the media i consume. hello? i hardly watch anything. i don't have the patience to watch stuff, i get bored. i don't feel safe at school, not at home, never outside, not some restaurant, not my room, nowhere. there's not a single place i feel safe in. and it's bad. im probably just being dramatic rn but it's true, i don't feel safe or happy anywhere. the school is too noisy, and so is anywhere public, my dad's just overall voice tone sounds pissed and i think im scared of him by that. and probably by the time i didn't answer his calls and he came home and shouted at me with my mom because he was "scared" and i've been sensitive to noise ever since. and i don't even remember him apologizing. not even once. whatever, i just have to make it to friday and ill have a day to rest.

#vent post #i hate it here #emotional neglect #noise sensitivity #mitski #turkish households i guess #not feeling safe #i genuinely want to feel safe in my own house please just let me #overly dramatic girl vents lmao #drama i guess

0 notes

imbeingstalked98 · 5 months

Text

Stalkers are so damn entitled

There are other people in my position, other people worse than me, other people inflicting more aggression on to others, and people want to take advantage of my goodnature bc even while I have less, while I have nothing, I still am willing to give up my financial resources for someone else just to be betrayed

The internet, the public, watches me like im their source of entertainment. It's not like I've overheard them yell at their partners. Imagine having a partner screaming at you over the phone nitpicking every single penny you have bc your relationship is a transaction. I don't need to hear that part of your life, thats why I let you have more privacy in a separate room.

Unlike the majority watching over me, thinking they need to set an example for others by torturing someone to the point they can't live peacefully with the people they trust. Isolate myself, dismiss myself, no longer hold any value towards being social. The more you know someone the more you realize the good and bad they do. Thats why many people settle in toxic relationships.

I love my partner, just like I love my parents. I loved my friends but the constant need to seek betrayal, breaking every boundary. I used to think, why would anyone care about what I'm doing

They care a lot bc they don't have the things I do, well guess what

I rather trade their lives, their responsibilities, their mental health, than to be surveillance like a TV show. These people are teaching their kids how to be fucked up.

Yes, I CAN be full of myself, in the privacy of myself. Yes, I CAN have opinions of others and recognize their behavior. I CAN hold grudges against my partner, bc these things aren't meant to be public, just like everyone else. You think being "real" means to be passive aggressively disrespectful and mock someone else? Pretending to be someone to provoke them, pretending to be my friend to use me and mess with me, randomly disappear while we spend time and have everyone in that restaurant make a shitty comment about what common decency is.

Every part of me that is toxic is incomparable to being a stalker. Because that means you show up to my work place, you then look for me, then you try to record me and harass me, OR you hack my devices you show everyone my private life just to make sure everyone knows what Im doing 24/7, OR you come to where I live leave discarded food in front of the garage take a flower from my garden show up to my work place to let me know where I live, OR you get your groupies to join in on the harassment and follow me to San Diego when I went to go see my doctor, MY FUCKING DOCTOR, OR you pretend that it must be my "delusions" that Im being stalked and followed and not because people feel addicted to being creepy as fuck

If I KNEW how to get a background check on myself, IF I KNEW HOW to hack someone, IF I KNEW HOW to make other ppl disrespect someone else, I would be as low as the rest of you. Stalking me since February, spreads to my employment, spreads to my neighborhood, spreads to my close friends, family, but it didn't spread to me, bc what will I do if I gain access to how I'm being hacked. If I report it, will anyone ever stop, I think all they'll ever do is escalate the situation,

Complain about me being tired, well if you had to put up with this bullshit for the past year, you'd blow your brains out, so you're probably wondering how I managed this far.

My issues w my partner, are supposed to be private, he holds grudges against me, and my grudge against him is that hes mad that I forced him to apologize for the abuse he put me through, for years, and while things have improved, he still tries to control me when hes upset by breaking us up,

How many other people out there have their partner tell you "dont bring up the past" after they've cheated on you or abused you, to make sure you're at fault when you tell them not to repeat a shitty thing they've done,

We have a hard time leaving our partners, because we love them, or because were impoverished, most impoverished women stay in these kinds of relationships, or we think our partners would improve, and while he has, ME holding my grudges, being upset, exhausted over and over I see people repeating the same ways I've been mistreated just to turn around like "no one done anything to you" but will mimic and copy mock me, hack me, stalk me,

I can't go outside, just like that one YouTuber getting doxxed after sssniperwolf posted his address. If you were stalked, if you were mocked, if you dealt w people disrespecting you everyday, you can't expect to be happy and positive, joyful and outgoing. I felt happy bc I didn't think I was actually the center of attention. I make jokes w random ass people bc I like making others happy, I say dumb things bc I like being funny, but my resource of comedy comes from making others happy, not making others worse.

If you were stalked you'll know what its liked to see people treat you like shit over the things you do, and all of us lose our narcissism when were put on display, like a zoo animal, even they don't deserve to be held captured, people just prefer their entertainment over what is actually justified.

Fuck gang stalking, if you contribute to this, you're no better than me.

0 notes

j0ekw · 6 months

Text

Hey did anyone else (particularly ppl who have been to uni) have a bad experience reading Loveless? Not even that its a bad book or anything, I just had a rly hard time with it (I've stopped reading it like halfway)

(B4 reading do be aware that this is quite personal and is more about my experience than the book itself, if ur just looking for discussion on the book specifically then this proly isn't up ur alley)

Like obviously the main character struggling with their sexuality and the consequences that has on the ppl around them is going to be especially sore if that struggle is relatable (which is a bridge I don't want to cross rn). But, as a Uni Student also in the UK, I found the setting weirdly upsetting.

Now its a different uni to mine, the characters are doing different courses to me and come from different backgrounds, but like I can't help but feel a sense of betrayal. In the book, sure there's conflict but the MC, who's just started in first year, is going to uni with ppl they know, they're getting to know ppl there quickly, they're going to cafe's and societies etc. Where I left it off, they were at this prom thing in fancy clothes with a ton of events coming to ahead, and there was a major conflict coming to ahead in the middle of a bouncy castle fight. Its a scene with bad consequences, but like the whole time I can't help but think about how amazing the event sounds, and how cool everyone looks.

My first year was spent being ill, tired all the time from work and the ppl in accommodation, being uncomfortable around most ppl and then, being afraid of some bullshit fine from the uni for keeping the kitchen clean that I felt I was the only one taking seriously (I don't even know if they were legally able to enforce it) and of course, with 2020 rolling around, covid. And sure, things have gotten a bit better since then, it took a few years but I found a good community, better housemates and a better job. And there were good bits in first year. However, reading that book, I couldn't help but think; has my experience been so bad that I can't even fathom what a good uni experience is meant to be? Because the book sounds fake, and maybe there are some exaggerated bits to make it more exciting, but even though I find a lot in common with the MC, it feels like they're in a world a million miles away from my own. Every cafe experience is tainted with regret bc I could've gotten the food cheaper, every society social felt like "go to pub" so god forbid you can't or don't want to drink, I don't think I've even been to a formal event. And even now, as a person helping to run a society, I can't even make that much better because the uni aren't helping! I didn't even start thinking about sexuality till I took a year out working full time, because that was probably the most stable situation I've been in since what feels like forever, and had the headspace to start thinking about that stuff.

And the book itself was published in 2020, its contemporary! I can't even blame the decline of this country due to the ghouls running it on why my experience is so different (altho maybe Alice is writing from her own experience which would be before my own).

I just feel like I've taken years off my life to make this uni thing work, and reading a world where money is a non-issue, fun events are going on, and the MC is around ppl they've known for ages, makes me envious.

I'm realising that this is rly personal and a non-issue in the grand scheme of things, I might just be feeling sorry for myself. I do still need to finish it tbh, maybe I was in a bad frame of mind at the time.

#loveless #alice oseman #uk #university

0 notes