#apenandsomewords

[a-pen-and-some-words]

“where did you get the nerve

to take the shape

of the feeling

i was missing”

- d.c.

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[a-pen-and-some-words]

“And so it goes that

some of our greatest loves will pass us by

with a fleeting gaze or graze of skin,

and we must learn to let them.

Because sometimes the people we meet

are only meant for us

to mourn.”

- d.c.

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[a-pen-and-some-words]

“To get to that

someplace,

you must start

somewhere,

slowly,

with something

small.”

- d.c.

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[a-pen-and-some-words]

“some people will

resent you

because

you don’t give them a

reason to”

- d.c.

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[a-pen-and-some-words]

“I feel as though I am a collection of people who never existed, but wanted to, each at odds with the other over matters of meaning and life pursuit, each clamoring for my undivided attention.” - d.c.

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[a-pen-and-some-words]

“You do not complete me,

but you certainly

compliment me

optimally.”

- d.c.

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[a-pen-and-some-words]

“I release myself

of the self-prescribed notion

that I must bestow a rationalization

upon every feeling that passes

through me.

So,

here I am,

and here I begin

breaking all my laws.”

- d.c.

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[a-pen-and-some-words]

I'll stand there on the stoop one cold, crisp, colorful morning in early November with a gloved hand grasping the flimsy canvas strap of my bag, the other perched on the black curly railing,  the leather slowly adhering to the sticky frosted glaze and through the hot cloud of breath materializing in front of my face I will watch for a few moments as the city stirs, blinks, stretches awake I'll then strut through the streets atop a carpet of leaves and I won't deny the feeling that Earth rolled it out just for me.

d.c.

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[a-pen-and-some-words]

Sometimes my thoughts disturb me. Well, I say my thoughts only because they take up space in my mind. I don’t necessarily consider them all mine. Not always. Not the unwelcome ones; the thoughts that seem to come from beyond the possible realm of my fabrication. It feels as if they gain sudden entry by means of implantation or injection. And believe me, they make their arrival known. But I do not entertain their presence by dwelling, nor do I ignore it. Instead, I tell myself: “This is causing damage,” then suck them down into my lungs and expel them forcefully.

d.c.

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[a-pen-and-some-words]

i promise you it will become clear to you one day, in time, once the emotional baggage becomes too heavy to bear on your spine and after holes, too many to count, have been eaten into your heart, that if what you seek is acknowledgement and validation for the pains of your past, to prove to the world that you have been mistreated and grossly undervalued  is not to be bitter and cold, but kind, and soft, and loving exactly because of it and equally despite it.

d.c.

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[a-pen-and-some-words]

soft as butter barbed as wire she suppressed no emotion unapologetically attuned to her sentience she carried her feelings at maximum capacity allowing herself to feel always and wholly never shallow was the water she swam in

d.c.

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[a-pen-and-some-words]

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[a-pen-and-some-words]

“Interests lined up to the horizon and back; passions galore. She was unsatiated, somehow, still. Indecisive evermore.”

- d.c.

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[a-pen-and-some-words]

you are not owed

nor do you owe anyone

constant inspiration

or productive energy

so welcome creative dormancy

and fear not lackluster thoughts

d.c.

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