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bombshelllblonde · 1 month

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heyyyyyy im backkk!!!!!!!

invading ur ask box again lol, sorry!!!!!!

this might start being a thing

ANYWYAS

i totally forgot to mention last time hiw muvh i love lenny, mary-beth and hosea and tilly and MOLLY O SHEA omg

the drinking mission w lenny is one of my favorites, and I LOVE PLAYING DOMINOES W TILLY MY GIRL SHE IS THE BEST

AND SADIE I LOVE HER SM

Like yea gurl!!!!! kill the o driscolls!! kill them all!! avenge ur pookie!!! rahhh!!!

Mary-beth and kieran are my blorbs. my pookies. my babbygirls. my schmookums

molly o'shea that woman that she is i love her so so so much

i feel so bad for her tho w her fights w dutch :(

speaking of dutch, idk i have like a neutral (slightly negative) view of him???

i dislike how he treats molly, and w how he treats mary-beth?? (inst dutch also like 40-50 and mary-beth like 20-smth? idk im probably rlly biased in this lol)

ALSO another reason dutch be chosing Micah the rat over what is his basically adopted son??

im definitely biased in this but wtv lmao

but he hasnt really done much so i dont hate him, but i dont like him either

moving on, do yk if theres any way to explore blackwater + south of it while playing as arthur? i wanna get all the dinosaur bones and legendary animals !!

i replayed the 'americans at rest' mission, yk w bill (i think) javier and charles at the bar (towards the beginning of the game)

its so fucking funny i cannot

arthur walks in, uses his amazing charmer skills (LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER) and then bill runs in, punches a guy therefore starting a bar fight, HERE COME CHARLES WITH THE STEEL CHAIR, arthur gets his ass kicked and then kicks ass and nearly beats the guy half to death

yk when jack grows up and tells epople abt his dear ol uncle arthur that uncle lore drop boutta be CRAZYYYY

did i mention charles throwing a chair? its my favorite part could you tell

i have a pretty neutral view of john marston ig, i kinda hope he steps up and gets the stick outta his ass, starts being a father to jack or smth but im trying not to get my hopes up lmao

thats it for now!!!! hope u have a nice day!!!!

(thanks for responding to these btw! lmk if im bothering u tho, ty for letting me ramble abt my hyperfixation lmao)

okay lsitennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn rdr2 has been mt hyper fixation since July of 2022 when my brother in law gave me his old ps4 and the game and i don’t think ive shut up about it since i started playing. My entire personality is rdr2. And my current outlet/therapy is writing my rdr2 fanfiction

it’s gotten to the point where my family has literally started buying me cowboy/outlaw stuff. when I was a teenager i loved owls so everyone got me owl things. now im obsessed with cowboys at 26 years old and every gift I receive has something to do with outlaws

My sister got me a cameo of Roger Clark talking to me as Arthur for my 25th bday and literally nothing has ever topped that. It was the most amazing gift ever and now I have a video of Arthur Morgan saying my name and talking to me about my horses!!!! It’s so amazing I watch it all the time

unfortunately there isn’t any way to explore blackwater as Arthur unless you get like mods or something. the AI immediately roll up and the bounty hunters shoot him dead if you try to get into west Elizabeth

do you know how to play dominoes??? Literally ive only ever played 5 finger fillet in that game because i cant fucking play dominoes or poker bc i don’t know how

also Tilly is amazing just wait until later in the game. there’s a mission that really solidified the love i have for Arthur being the protective older brother

Dutch is sooooo complex and i think that’s why i love him so much. i won’t get too deep into my feels for him just yet bc i want you to keep going without me saying anything but once you get farther into the game we can talk about him!!!

Hosea and Dutch are literally my gay fathers. I love them so much. Their love for each other literally makes my tummy flip I love it so so so much

Also I’d let Charles hit me with a chair too, tbh. Love of my life

I never disliked Molly but I didn’t like her either, I think she’s just too much of a loud mouth. Felt like to me she could have not been in the game and it wouldn’t have changed much. Idk

And John’s complexity we can talk about after you progress a lil further. I honestly don’t want to spoil anything or give it away unless you don’t care about spoilers. But I’m just gonna stay quiet until you let me know 😂😂😂😂

#arthur morgan #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #rdr 2 #dutch van der linde

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n0ct0urn1quet · 2 years

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@fuckshitassbitchcockballs babe come play among us with me

#im JOKING ik u are going seepy rn so like BHSJBHDBHJ #also .aslso hey i didnt get a chance to ask u last night #well ok ys i did i asked u but u fell asleep before u answereD FBHJBHJGJGHBJGHBG #but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so abt not feeling like typing rn #would u . be cool. with me doing like an audio gaypost. as in me talking and rambling abt gay shit instead of typing it out #like u would jus listen 2 me talke insteafd of Reading Stuf fyk what i mean #i mean like if u woudlnt be cool with that thas oaky #i am just !!!!!!! sometimes do not feel like typing a lot #hands get tired. they get like actually weak and i sometimes jus have to not use my hadnsd for a bit #but also soietms i just get tired #ANYWYAs #would u be okaey with me doing that maybe. if not thas totally cool n i understand if u wouldnt be okey with that but!!!!!! idk #ig talking abt this Out Loud will not only make me better at saying stuff like that out loud #but also like........ u get 2 hear me talke more often bc like we only ever Hear Our Own Voices when we vc.......... which isnt super often #bc Busy an also bc Schoole #but like!!!!! idk man i think itd be neat BUT AGIN #if ur not coole with me doing that i toatlly understannde its not a bi g dela #but anyways yeas i am seepy i am gay for u an hjgjhgf . squiseh #i was going to react to the heart emoj with squishe but i couldnt fit another s so i was like :( no squishe :(#i coulda jus done squihe but that wouldve just sounded weir DHJJHHJD #also sry for all the typos like i said im. tired. hansd r weak. shaky even. not like anxiety shaky but just hghghg wobbley #but UM yeah i wana squishe u stomac. it squishe it soft it cosie #also this is a gay thing 2 say but...... i would rly love it if u did like . get squishier n chumbier n stuff #bc like!!!! the n youll look like me!!! and youll be chumbie like me adnd itll make me feel better abt myself ig!!!!!!#that prolly sounds weird but idk i just bfhggfknjfgk cjhumby!!!!#i jsut bhhbjgf. chumby good actually :) chumby squish an warm comfie :)#ok that is al sry i canot and do not enjoy typing rn hands HURT ! ow #im gonna go fuckinnnnnnnn fix hmy hands. stupidt hadn dmont #NAWYs #ill see ya tomororwe hunnie goodnite im lobve u so much u squishe babie <3

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togasknifes · 4 years

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i miss writing fanfiction

#keep this a secret but i used to write klance fanfiction #this is only cuz i read the galaxy is endless and #in another life #and i miss being able to pull emotion out of ppl #believe it or not once i did in fact write angst but it was for a rlly small fandom kfja but ppl said they liked it and that was wild #anywyas im done rambling ill go right back to homework #love you guys i miss youuuu #IM ALSO READING THIS AMAIZING SMAU OMG OMG OGM #ITS BSD #AND OMG ITS SO GOOD #ITS ON TWITTER and its atsushi and akutagawa so if anyone wants that hmu and ill send u the link

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harrysweasleys · 4 years

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sunflowers // h.p

Summary: Hi dear! Could you write a Harry Potter x reader? The reader has a bubbly/kind personality like Alice (Alice in wonderland) or Rapunzel (tangled) and Harry loves her company and has a crush on her? Also it would be cool if the reader is a Hufflepuff and has some sort of pet (your choice) thanks in advance and have a nice day/night!

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: this request was so so so sweet. i am not overly familiar with alice’s characters tho, so i based the reader more on rapunzel! also, for some reason, all of my harry fics start with an S. i don’t know why. anywyas, hope you enjoy! :)

——

Harry quite adored going to Care of Magical Creatures.

Yes, he liked Hagrid and enjoyed his presence and comforting mannerisms, but his mind was on something else as he strolled down to the hut for class.

You.

Harry also quite adored you.

You with your bright eyes, bubbly personality, and love for all things around you.

Harry, who was constantly checking behind his shoulder for signs of danger, admired your love for life and the way you were always eager to learn and experience things. A trait he wished he was able to share as well.

His heart stuttered in his chest as he came to the front of Hagrid’s hut and saw you. A yellow sunflower in your hair, your smile bright, and your eyes holding all signs of curiosity. Though Harry found he didn’t know much about you, he knew how much you loved all the strange creatures Hagrid showed off to the class.

Harry thought you perfectly fitted the Hufflepuff stereotype. Not that he wanted to believe in stereotypes — he often found them misleading and false — but when it came to you, he found you fit every Hufflepuff characteristic. Sweet, kind, curious, smart.

“Gather ‘round, you lot!” Hagrid waved his gigantic hands to the crowd of students, causing Harry to snap his attention away from you, “Today we’re gonna be in the forest. I’ve got a magnificent creature.”

“Hagrid’s definition of magnificent creature usually means danger,” Ron leaned over and muttered in Harry’s ear, a slight chuckle in the tone of his voice.

“Right,” Harry replied, his mind not really focused on Ron or Hagrid as he walked into the forest behind the group of students. Though he hated being distracted in class, especially when Hagrid was the one teaching it, he really couldn’t help himself.

After nearly five minutes of walking through dense bushes and towering trees, the group came to an opening of trees where sunlight streaked down and illuminated the group.

“Stay here, I’ll be righ’ back!” Hagrid grinned, taking off behind some trees, leaning the students gaping around blankly.

Harry looked over at you, your glow somehow still radiating in the thick shadow of the trees. He didn’t understand how someone could be so effortlessly beautiful.

“Mate, if you keep staring with such burning intensity she might just evaporate,” Ron leaned in and muttered in his ear, Harry’s cheeks burning at the comment.

“I’m not staring,” he defended, narrowing his eyes and trying his best to look anywhere but you.

Ron raised an eyebrow, “Right. Sure.”

But Harry chose not to answer this comment, turning back to you. And he was glad he did or else he would have missed the brilliant way your face lit up at the sight of the creature Hagrid returned with.

Large, white, horselike and covered in feathers, Harry thought it looked rather odd. But the way your face broke into a massive grin, your eyes sparkling, Harry would have thought you were looking at the most beautiful creature ever to exist.

“This is a Hippogriff, his name is Buckbeak,” Hagrid pat the large animal on the back, “Anyone wan’ to come say hello?”

Harry, too busy fighting off his blush, hadn’t noticed the entirety of the class move backwards. Well, everyone except for him and you.

“Y/N, Harry, come on forwards,” Hagrid grinned, clapping his hands together with excitement.

Harry felt his heart give a jolt as he walked towards the Hippogriff, unsure if his nerves were stemming from his close proximity to you or the large creature. He wiped his hands on his robes and tried to fix his unruly hair in the short span before he was standing next to the creature.

“Oh, Professor Hagrid, he’s beautiful,” your smooth voice complimented.

“You have to bow,” Hagrid said, “Bow and if he returns the gesture, you can approach.”

Both you and Harry obeyed, bowing low and waiting for the creature to do the same. When it did, your face broke out into a massive smile and you walked forwards, placing your hand on its side and rubbing your fingers through its massive feathers.

“Yer a natural!” Hagrid grinned at you, causing your cheeks to turn a slight shade of pink, “Go on, Harry. He won’ bite.”

Harry, too overcome with a strange sense of giddiness, raised his hand and placed it on the creature’s back, surprised at how soft it felt to the touch.

“Isn’t he gorgeous?” you asked, voice directed towards Harry.

He stuttered as he tried to find his breath, “Yeah, really is.”

Though this wasn’t his first time talking to you, he felt as nervous as he did then. His belly fluttered with butterflies and his head was fuzzy and he really wished he could push past the fact that all of his senses were betraying him by focusing on you.

“I’ve never seen a Hippogriff in person before,” you smiled, lifting your hand to pet it over it’s head, “Only in books.”

Harry nodded, “Me neither.” He wished he had the courage to actually strike up a reasonable conversation, but he couldn’t.

“Right, you two, I’ll get back to teaching,” Hagrid raised his hands, motioning for the two of you to return the rest of the group. You both complied, standing next to each other as Hagrid talked about the life of a Hippogriff.

He wasn’t paying as much attention as he should be, however, as his mind was fuzzy with how close you were standing to him. He could smell you — was it... roses? Sunflowers?

It was flowery, that’s all he could say. And it was intoxicating. Something about you reminded him of a fresh spring morning with the sun beaming down on the grass and trees. He found it rather refreshing.

Too focused on trying not to make a fool of himself, he hadn’t noticed class was over until you called his name.

“Hm?” he spun around.

“Your friends left,” you pointed to where Ron and Hermione were walking away with knowing grins.

Harry frowned, “Oh. Thanks.”

He began to walk away, a slight trudge in his step, until you caught up to him. Your hair was bouncing with every step you took and the yellow flower in your hair glowed brightly as the two of you exited the forest and stepped into the sunlight.

“We have Herbology together too,” you smiled at him, “We can walk together. Unless you want to walk alone.”

“No, we can walk together,” he replied rather quickly, sounding incredibly eager. However, he was pleased to notice you seemed oblivious to his romantic longing — your eyes were too focused on the scenery of the Hogwarts grounds.

“Always something in the fall, isn’t it?” you asked, “The colours, the smell. It’s my favorite season.”

“Hm, yeah, mine too,” Harry agreed with you, though lucky for him it was truthful. He did always enjoy the coziness that came with the autumn season.

You turned to face him, your eyebrow quirked and a smirk ghosting your lips, “You don’t say much, do you, Harry Potter?”

He was honestly caught off guard by the question, your sudden bold tone of voice rendering his mind blank as to how to answer.

“Sorry,” you giggled, “It’s fine if you don’t say much. I don’t either. Usually. But you seem like a good person to talk to.”

Harry smiled to himself, turning to face you while trying his best to hide his warm cheeks, “It’s alright. I enjoy your company.”

The walk to the Herbology greenhouse was rather silent, but Harry’s mind was swirling with all the different ways he could try and talk to you. He knew that that was why Hermione and Ron had taken off without him, but he somehow couldn’t find the guts to do it. The last thing he wanted was to look like a fool.

“Before anyone sits, we need to partner up for the class!” Professor Sprout shouted once the Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors had all entered the warm room.

Harry scowled as Ron and Hermione grabbed each other’s hands and smirked at him.

“Er — Y/N, do you — want to be partners? Maybe?” Harry asked, rubbing his hand at the back of his neck.

You flashed him a breathtaking smile, “Of course! Here, let’s sit there.”

He followed you to the nearest empty desk where a strange plant sat atop.

“Oh, look at it,” you smiled, peering curiously at the plant, “So unique.”

Although Harry never really had a fascination for plants, or Herbology in particular, he found himself enjoying this class more than usual. He could hear you complimenting the strange plant multiple times as the class went on, your sparkling eyes and wide grin never faltering.

Harry had a weird déjà-vu of every conversation he’d had with Neville, who was also a Herbology enthusiast. But, he had to admit, he much rather enjoyed your rambling than Neville’s.

He was disappointed when class ended and he knew the two of you would have to go your separate ways until whenever your next shared class would be. This was the most he had ever really spoken to you and he could barely muster up the guts to have an actual conversation.

“I’ll see you around, Harry!” you waved at him as you left the class, huddled amongst a group of your house mates.

He brought up his hand, “See you!” and waved back as you took off. He watched you disappear around the bend and into the crowd heading back towards the castle.

“Oh, the look of love,” Ron pat him across the shoulder as the three of them made their way back to the castle, Hermione chuckling silently on his other side, “Young romance blossoms at the—”

“Shut up, Ron,” Harry groaned, causing his ginger friend to burst out laughing. His ears felt hot and he had a strong urge to take off without his friends, as they had just done to him.

“Talk to her outside of class, Harry,” Hermione urged, “She seems quite lovely. And interested.”

Harry scoffed, trying not to get his hopes up, “Don’t think she’s interested in me, Hermione.”

“You’ll never know unless you find out, Harry,” Ron said, his head held high.

“That’s how it works, yes,” Hermione rolled her eyes, “Just talk to her.”

——

For the rest of the day, and the next day, and the next week, Harry had become too preoccupied with Quidditch practice and homework to really focus or think about anything else. His mind was feeling constantly swamped and he barely had time to take a breather.

Which is why the first day he had nothing to do — and luckily for him, it was a Saturday so he didn’t have classes either— he decided to take a stroll throughout the castle. Rain was pouring down, therefore students were hidden away in their common rooms and dorm rooms and Harry decided he needed a moment to be alone and unwind. The stress of the upcoming Quidditch match — that Oliver Wood was not helping with — was beginning to send Harry into a bit of a frenzy. Not to mention Snape and McGonagall’s essay assignments that Hermione had refused to lend a hand with.

Harry couldn’t help but want some alone time.

He had left Ron and Hermione back in the Gryffindor tower and made his way down to the courtyard, where the heavy sound of the rain was somehow relaxing him. The dark clouds made him feel like Hogwarts was in its own little bubble outside of the world and the thought was soothing.

He began to walk around, thinking that maybe he should head back up soon, but stopped in his tracks when he found himself nearly stepping on a toad.

Harry stared at it as it sat on the stone floor, perfectly still.

“Sunnie!”

A soft voice called throughout the empty corridor, echoing over the sound of the rain. The toad let out a loud croak and the distant footsteps grew louder as the person followed the sound of it.

Before he knew it, Harry was face to face with you.

“Oh, hi Harry,” you smiled, leaning over to pick up the toad, “Sorry. Sunnie ran away.”

Harry looked at the little creature sitting in your hands, “No problem. You named it Sunnie?”

You nodded, “After my mum. Her favorite flower was a sunflower.”

All of a sudden, things clicked. This is why you always wore one in your hair, why you smelled like them — the yellow wasn’t just because you were a Hufflepuff.

Harry stared at you like an idiot, slightly captivated by your beauty and partially unsure of what else to say. For some reason, just you mentioning the fact of the sunflower made him understand you just a tad more.

“Well, thanks for helping me find her,” you raised your hand in a small salute and began to walk away.

“Wait!” Harry called out before he could think of a plan. You spun around on the spot, eyebrow raised, and Harry wanted nothing more than to disappear. He didn’t have a plan and now he was going to look like a fool.

“Yeah?” you asked.

“Er — do you want to walk together?” he asked, placing his hands in his pockets and grinning awkwardly.

However, his heart was set to ease when you nodded and bit your lip, “I’d love to.”

So the two of you walked through the halls, making small talk and laughing about random things.

Maybe one day, Harry would work up the courage to tell you. Maybe one day.

—

taglist

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@diary-of-an-onliner

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@theweasleysredhair

@haphazardhufflepuff

#harry potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter imagines #harry potter one shot #harry potter one shots #harry potter fic #harry potter fics #harry potter x reader #harry potter reader insert

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realfuurikuuri · 5 years

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Don’t Look Away

MMHOPH Missing Arm! AU fic

WC: 2,954

Angsty as fuck

Oneshot

AN: This was a little thing I did using @spookylovesboba MissingArm! AU. It's been a while since I last wrote fanfic(like two years) but this was pretty fun. There wasn’t much to go on The AU gave a lot of room to invert the themes of the original source, which was pretty fun. If I had to place this anywehre on the hypothetical timeline it’d be before he finds the new arm so things aren’t too bloody. The story is a oneshot. I might do more; I might not. Depends on how I’m feeling. I could ramble about this for a lot longer, which I probably will in the tags, anywyas enjoy the fic.

Mao Mao polished Geraldine, holding the sword in his right hand, holding the handle with his tail. Every so often he would turn towards the silent monster alarm before he went back to pointlessly polishing his sword. Badgerclops and Adorabat were out getting… Ice cream, was it? He wasn’t paying much attention when they left. Maybe he should have joined them and actually done something with his day. The monster alarm wasn’t giving him anything to do.

Ring! Ring! Ring!

Or maybe it was. He grabbed his sword and headed out the door and headed back in when he realized that it wasn’t the monster alarm. The ringing was coming from the backroom. Covered in dust, hidden in the shadows, was the home phone. Mao Mao slowly walked up to the phone, mind already racing with the unfortunate possibilities. Was it going to be one of his sisters? Probably not, he never gave them his number. Was it going to be his father? Definitely not, Mao Mao almost found the idea of him finally calling commercial. Almost.

Mao Mao reached for the phone,” hello?”

“Is this… sheriff, Mao Mao?”

The voice on the other end was faked, although there was something to it he could almost recognize.

“Who is this,” Mao Mao asked.

“Your reckoning. I am here to destroy everything you hold dear! I am here to make sure you get what's coming to you! I am-”

“-Going to stay out of the mayo,” Mao Mao interrupted. “Dammit Pinky, quit prank calling the sheriff's department!”

Mao Mao slammed the phone back down without even letting him finish. “Need to have the number changed again,” he said to himself.

He sheathed his sword and headed for the door. He might as well explore the town. It was better than getting prank called by Pinky.

* * *

“He just hung up on me. The ass just hung up on me!” The stranger threw the phone on the ground, growling in frustration. “Can’t even let me threaten him right. Prick won’t let me do anything!”

“Hey, that was our phone.”

“Shut it!” The Stranger snapped, voice echoing throughout the Sky Pirates ship.

Orangusnake didn’t know what to think of this man. Kid more like. He couldn’t have been much older than 16 maybe 17. He was a cat with mostly white fur, save for a patch of black here and there. He was a little taller than the sheriff and even sounded like the sheriff. The only thing the kid had that Mao Mao didn’t was both arms. If he closed his eyes he could easily imagine it was an extremely vulgar version of Mao Mao.

“So whadda we do now, boss,” Ratarang asked.

“Well, -uh, first we’ll…”

“You’ll shut the hell up and let me do my thing,” the stranger said.

“Hey! You can’t just come to MY ship. And start disrespecting MY crew.”

“I can when I’ve already beat the crap out of you and tied you up.”

“You haven’t even beat us up!”

“Do you want me to?”

Orangusnake was about to tell him to try it, but the kid’s eyes reminded him of Mao Mao on a bad day.

“Fine! But you said you could get rid of the blasted sheriff for us, so you better do it.”

“Don’t throw a bitch-fit, I have a plan.”

* * *

Mao Mao arrived in the town on foot because Badgerclops had to take the aerocycle. He walked through the streets making sure everything was under control. Occasionally he called out their names, but he got no response. It was quit. Too quiet. The town wasn’t on fire, Pigguns hasn’t tried to run him over, and there was no trail of mayo from Pinky. Something was horribly wrong. Did it only affect the sweetie pies? Was it the Sky Pirates? A monster? Did whatever happen also effect the King? Mao Mao gritted his teeth and began to run to the castle.

He ran as fast as he could up the castle steps. He could hear chatter get louder and louder until he finally kicked down the door.

“My door,” the king exclaimed, but Mao Mao ignored him. He had to take a minute to wonder what exactly he was seeing.

The entire kingdom was caught in a net with a misshapen piano hanging above them like it was some sort of cartoon. The group Horde Gaggle Headache of sweetie pies all began to speak at once.

“Quiet!”

The headache finally fell silent letting Mao Mao think. He pointed his sword at the King.

“Speak,” he said.

“Sheriff, get me out of this mess these… ruffians are disgusting.”

“What happened? Why you are in a net?”

“Oh, help me! Help me! Help Me! Help me! The pink… thing is getting closer!”

Mao Mao was tempted to let the King sit there and deal with Pinky however, he did sign his paychecks, so he had to do something. He took a few steps back before he began to run towards the net, pushing it with his one arm as the Piano began to fall. One swing with Geraldine and the leaf was in two pieces? What? Was Tanya behind this? Was she the one that kidnapped the sweetie pies? Did she do all of that just to mess with him? Why?

Mao Mao was moving towards the net when he noticed that the leaf wasn’t green. It was red. A nice fall red.

“Sheriff! SHERIFF!”

The King’s screams snapped him out the daze. He walked over to the net and grabbed the king by the collar.

“Who did this,” he asked.

“Who? I don’t know, just let me out-”

“Who did this,” he asked again.

“I said I don’t know, now get me-”

“What did he look like?”

“Oh, I don’t know. A black and white cat, maybe. A lot like you, actually.”

Mao Mao let go of the king with a huff. He turned to the door and began to walk to the door.

“Don’t forget about me. Sheriff? Sheriff? Cut me loose...Please,” the King asked, Mao Mao’s mind too busy to hear; his mind buzzed with thoughts and old memories.

* * *

“So, uh, care to tell me what exactly is going on?”

The Stranger looked up at his captives. One was a rather large badger with an eyepatch and a little blue bat. He knew the bear was Badgerclops although he didn’t know the small one. He expected it would take more than a half-assed ice-cream stand to catch them, but it seemed to work.

“What’s going on is that you'll both sit there quietly and wait for him to show up.”

“Whose he,” the blue one asked.

“I don’t know, maybe I would if someone would tell me what’s going on!”

Orangusnake slunk up to the captives with a wicked smile. “What’s going on is-”

“Nobody shutting the hell up. That’s what's going on,” The Stranger mumbled.

“Okay, why are you so rude? I let you into my ship! Then you start yelling at everybody! What do you want?”

“First off, you don’t ‘let’ me be anywhere. I can do what I want and you certainly can’t stop me. Secondly, I’m not rude you all are just insufferable. Lastly, what I want is to finally give Mao Mao what he deserves.”

“And what is that?”

The Stranger just smiled and took out more leaves. A flick of the wrist and a puff of smoke turned them into poorly made dolls of Mao Mao, Badgerclops, the blue one and himself.

“What are those?”

“The important people.”

“We aren’t I there,” Orangusnake said.

“Dude, I literally just said it's the important people.”

“That… that hurts.”

The Stranger rolled his eyes going back to his dolls. “First, I kidnap you two. Already done that. Then he shows up and we beat him up. Once he’s all nice and bruised we bury him alive. Let’s see how he likes being locked up without anyone to help him.”

The Stranger let out a cackling laugh.

“You’re a lot like your dad you know that,” Badgerclops said.

The laughter suddenly stopped. “What would you know?”

“I mean, you’re Jǐngtì Mao, right? Mao Mao’s son?”

Everyone turned to the Stranger. He squinted his eyes, pushing a finger into Badgerclops’ face. “Okay, its Jǐngtì Keys actually.”

The blue thing’s eyes lit up like stars. “Oh my gosh! You're Mao Mao’s Kid! WhatshelikeWhereyou’vebeenIsn’thethecoolestwhoseyourmom- wait, if you’re Mao Mao’s kid then why’d you kidnap us?”

“Well, you see… Blue thing. Mao Mao is… awful. So, I’m going to make use of the only way he taught me to deal with my problems: bury it deep deep down and hope it never comes back up.”

“That doesn’t sound very heroic.”

“Well, you see that would be a problem if I was a hero, fortunately, I’m not so I don’t have to worry about shit.”

“If Mao Mao’s your dad then who's your mom,” Orangusnake asked.

“Tanya Keys.”

“Who.”

“What do you mean who she was here like last week.”

“Never met her.”

“Really? Tanuki. Did the stuff with the leaves. I mean you should’ve met her, she’s a bounty hunter.”

“These guys don’t have bounties on their heads,” Badgerclops added from the back.

Jǐngtì turned to the pirates then back to Badgerclops. “Aren’t they pirates.”

“Sky Pirates,” Orangusnake added from the back.

“Yeah, but they suck so we never really placed bounties.”

“We’re right here.”

“Damn, I thought they were strong because mom didn’t catch them.”

“Nope. They’re bottom of the barrel.”

“We’re still right here.”

“Why do I even have these guys then?”

Everyone turned when they heard a loud bang. “Open up Jǐngtì! I know you’re here.”

“They may not be fighters, but I suppose they can be cannon fodder.”

* * *

Mao Mao kept knocking on the hull of the Sky Pirates ship. His one good hand was starting to hurt when the door finally opened a tad. Jǐngtì poked his head over the door, his face covered with the purple bandanna.

“Son.”

“You.”

“It’s been a while.”

“Four years and 156 days. Believe me, I’ve been counting.”

“How are you even out of jail?”

“Mom paid bail.”

“All of it?”

“What do you think she was so desperate for bounties?”

Mao Mao sighed and scratched his ears. “If you stop know we can have this kidnapping stuff all blow over, so just get down here.”

“You can’t make me.”

“Yes, I can.”

“There’s just one of you and six, maybe seven if you count the snake-monkey as two different people.”

“You mean the Sky Pirates?”

“Yeah.”

Mao Mao raised an eyebrow.”Really? You’re just scraping up wood chips. I beat them once a week, twice if I need to blow off some steam.”

“See! That’s the shit I can’t stand. You pretend to be better than everyone else when you’re just as awful!”

“What do you mean?”

“I make one mistake and you just throw me into jail. You didn't even try to help me. You complain about your dad when you’re not better.”

Mao Mao didn’t know words could hit that hard. He felt all the wind leave his lungs and pain in his chest. He clenched his fist and closed his eyes before looking up again. “You can’t just do things without consequences. You can’t just do wrongs and expect no justice.”

“You’re right,” Jǐngtì said,” so let me fucking bury you alive.”

“Please get down here. And stop cursing, Adorabat’s only six.”

“The blue thing?”

Mao Mao nodded.

Jǐngtì turned over his shoulder then back to his father, looking him dead in the eyes. “Shit, ass, fuck, motherfucker, bitch-”

Jǐngtì certainly inherited his obstinance. He climbed up and swung the back of his blade at Jǐngtì. He dodged the attack, stepping forward to bring down his knife. Mao Mao stuck his sword in the floor, freeing his hand to catch Jǐngtì’s wrist.

“-cock, fucker, and motherfucker.”

“You said motherfucker twice.”

“Well, I am fighting you so I guess it was on my mind.”

Jǐngtì pulled a bomb from his bag forcing Mao Mao to jump back. When the fuse burned out the bomb just turned back into a leaf.

“Pirates!” Jǐngtì called out.

Mao Mao was forced to let go and quickly step out of the way of Rammaraffe, he was pushed back by an egg-bomb from boss-hostrich, a small head-tilt was enough to dodge Ratarang. Orangusnake let out a battle cry, leaping forward with battleax brandished. He couldn’t win like this. He dashed underneath Orangusnake, and reached for Geraldine. When the sword was nearly in his grasp it was pulled away.

“How does it feel to be disarmed again,” Jǐngtì asked.

“You’re like really mean, you know that?”

Jǐngtì gave Badgerclops the side-eye before transforming with a large puff of smoke. “Meh meh meh meh meh, that’s what you sound like,” he said.

“Hurtful, but why’d you turn into modern art?”

Jǐngtì raised an eyebrow,” what do you mean modern art I’m supposed to be you.”

“That’s supposed to be… me?”

Badgerclops laughed. He laughed and laughed as Jǐngtì’s frustration grew and grew until he exploded in a puff of smoke. “You know what! I don’t see you doing magic! You don’t get to criticize me for doing mine!”

Mao Mao pinched the bridge of his nose.“ Badgerclops, quit arguing with an actual child and free yourself. Also, hand my sword while you’re at it.”

“Can’t tied up.”

“Quit being lazy. You know that’s not even a rope. It's just a leaf.”

Badgerclops rolled his eyes and stood up, popping the rope around with a puff of smoke. He pointed his arm right at Jǐngtì. “You’re both very demanding you know that?”

“I suppose I’ll just try burying him alive another time.”

Jǐngtì pushed Badgerclops arm up. A single misfire blasted a hole right through the Sky Pirate’s ship. He grabbed Adorabat without hesitation, jumping off Badgerclop’s face to start climbing towards the exit. Mao Mao called his son’s name, quickly following after. They climbed to the top of the airship. Jǐngtì held Adorabt in one arm. The wind howled in their ears.

“That’s enough, Jǐngtì.”

“Enough of what?”

“Enough of all this. You have to stop.”

“Why? Why should I?”

“Because you literally held an entire kingdom hostage. You teamed up with the Sky Pirates. You’re just becoming a villain.”

“Like father like son, I guess.”

“Jǐngtì just… just stop before this goes too far.”

Mao Mao walked forward while Jǐngtì kept walking back.

“Before I too far? I already thought I did go too far back in Queens Putland.”

“You stole from the monarch and stole their crown! You can’t just do that and expect nothing of it!”

“So, I guess it's justified to leave me in jail without even trying to post bail. I guess it’s fine to just up and move on with your life like you didn't spend 13 whole fucking years with them! Instead, you fuck off and replace me with… this!”

He shook Adorabat around like a ragdoll. “Careful!” Mao Mao shouted as he took a tentative step forward.

“Listen I get it I… am a hypocrite, certainly not the best father, but that's no excuse to do any of this.”

“Shut up! Just shut up!” Jǐngtì reached into his pouch throwing leaf after leaf.

Some turned into bikes, others into furniture, pianos and anything heavy. It didn’t slow Mao Maod down; he just cut them down one after the other. The final thing he threw was also the largest. A massive boulder that belonged at the slope of a mountain hurled through the air. Mao Mao simply raised his hand, simply grabbing onto it so tightly that it popped.

“Are you done?”

“No, I’m not done! I never will be until you finally get your shit together! Put action to your words, and try, for once in your life, to do something right!”

It happened in an instant. A step back when nothing was there. Jǐngtì fell back, too surprised to even scream.

Mao Mao lunged forward grabbing onto his wrist.

To his horror, Jǐngtì seemed genuinely surprised. “Why?”

“Does a man have to give a reason to protect his own children?”

The look in Jǐngtì’s eyes gave him hope. Hope that maybe mistakes can be fixed, or at least worked past. He helped Jǐngtì to his feet and placed his hand on his shoulder. Jǐngtì refused to look him in the eye, but he didn’t shrug it off.

Without warning, he threw down one of Adorabat’s bombs. A cloud of smoke filled the air. When the smoke cleared he was holding Adorabat and Jǐngtì was nowhere to be seen.

“Mao Mao,” Adorabat said.

“Hm?”

“What was that?”

Mao Mao took a deep breath as he searched for the right way to phrase it. “Adorabat, we all have to deal with the consequences of our actions. You can’t just forget about them, lest we start to hurt the people we’re close to.”

“Did you forget him, Mao Mao?”

“You know what? I never could. I never even wanted to. I hope he knows that.”

A loud crash shook the ship. Badgerclops helicoptered out through a brand new, much larger, hole with his arm cannon at full charge. “Alright daddy issues, that’s enough.” He waved his cannon around, searching for his target.

“What?”

“No not you. Jǐngtì,” Badgerclops said.

“You can put the arm cannon down now. He’s long gone.” He knew Jǐngtì wasn’t. He taught him that disappearing trick, after all.

“Oh. Well then let's get the aerocycle and go. I have no idea where it's parked.”

“But I didn’t ride the aerocycle here.”

Badgerclops groaned and they shared a laugh as they walked back home

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