#anyways— there was this dude who was highly regarded and i think he was a slave who can buy back his freedom or he just had a large loan and

[quill-of-thoth]

It's apparently Little Shop of Horrors day, so let me tell you all about the time I was house manager for the worst musical of, if not all time, the 20zeroes.

I was a theater kid in a school that did NOT do musicals. For crosstown rivalry reasons and a bunch of other stuff. The other high school did musicals so all you choir divas go try out over there. Also casting at my high school was highly correlated with seniority, AKA you were more likely to get speaking parts as an upperclassman, assuming you had been in any play before.

However, my junior year we got a new drama teacher, and therefore a budget, and therefore a spate of more musicals and small cast plays to perform. I got cast in zero things because my acting was pretty mid and my ability to sing is... not. However I was both one of the few non-graduating upperclassmen and The Responsible One and my presence building set / herding freshman / going off book early resulted in fewer stitches, so I got to be house manager. In high school theater, house manager shows up at call to help with things, then opens the ticket booth, answers questions on the walkie, and is the person fourteen year old ushers come to when somebody's mom needs to be sent to the special hell for people who talk on their cell phones in the theater. We did our very first school musical in like a decade, Little Shop of Horrors, in january.

If the Gifs have not clued you in, Little Shop of Horrors is the story of a florist's assistant who mistakes a man eating alien for a talking plant and decides to feed his crush's abusive boyfriend to it. This is not a weird plot for musicals, BUT it requires some prep work. 1) The Chorus tells a lot of the story, so in order to Give Everyone A Chance and to keep everyone's barely trained vocal chords in good shape, we double casted the chorus. Meaning that on nights where they weren't singing, they were supposed to usher, because we never had enough ushers and there were too many of them for all of them to fulfil their crew obligations building set.

2) There are three chorus leads. Some performances have them be the whole chorus but our director had ambitions, so we had three chorus leads and like ten background chorus members per chorus. Performing alternating nights. In the same set of matching RENTED costumes. (Background chorus wore their choir performance duds I think.) 3) Audrey 2, the "plant" is a puppet of some description, large enough to eat a successful dentist. Meaning that somebody has to be mic'd up to voice him, and somebody ELSE has to make him move. And you have to get him on and off stage, or configure the stage in such a way that he can be covered up. Ours rolled. I had only occasionally been on set crew for Little Shop, and most of the chorus hadn't been at all because of their choir schedules, so I rolled up opening night at half past call expecting an hour of running errands for people and an easy house opening. The Stage Manager handed me my walkie and said "I already hate this," which was just her personality regarding opening nights but which should have been a warning. I was quickly informed that The Chorus was being kept in the empty choir room upstairs of the stage because there were too many of them to stay in the dressing rooms, so there was going to be a LOT of walkie chatter about cues. We also had to shuffle in a dude from light crew to drop the show's only F-bomb, because the freshman voicing Audrey 2 hadn't known it existed when he tried out and was now in a tizzy because his Very Religious Grandma was coming. So I had to keep an aisle clear up in the nosebleeds so a crew guy could sneak in the dark from the spotlights to the sound booth to delightedly yell Fuck into the microphone. "We never get people in the nosebleeds anyway," I told Stage Manager, who shrugged unhappily. "Chorus of twenty. Choir kids. Musical."

Spotlight guy, passing by, said something like "I can handle it."

I did some emergency stitching on somebody's loose costume button, sorted out some props, ran around blocking off or opening doors, and then opened the house. With ONE usher because the Chorus Ushers were late. "Isn't their call time twenty to opening?" I asked the one reliable usher, who was build crew only, and he shrugged. I told him to put people as far to the front as he could, no exceptions, and not to use the stage left nosebleeds, and continued taking tickets and cash. We already had a crowd when the Chorus Ushers arrived - Late, not appropriately dressed, or telling me that they had to leave before the show was over because their parents did not want to pick them up any later than that time. I volunteered to tell their parents that having a kid in a show was a commitment that included days that they were not performing and that we had several reliable upperclassmen running carpool if they had emergencies. Only one of the ushers took me up on it, so I decided that we could close missing one usher since we had more than usual anyway, and signed them all in. I walkied the Director that we had all the ushers we were gonna get and that they were late but we had it under control, which was the last time ANYTHING was under control that night. The first obvious problem was that the Chorus Ushers didn't seat anyone, which was literally their one job. They just... walked in and out of the theater following people? I had to leave Reliable at the cash box and demonstrate, then move people out of the one row reserved for ushers and the closed off nosebleed area. Someone, probably Spotlight, had cordoned it off with duct tape so I don't know why they even tried. Then I had to explain that you cannot save a whole row so that tall people do not come and block your view. And then somebody wanted a half off ticket because they intended to leave at intermission. And somebody else wanted to pay by credit card even though they'd had weeks of warning that we were not set up to do that. Add in people jockeying for seats and ushers sneaking off to hang with friends or family and by the time the lights went down I was composing some strongly worded advice to our director about training ushers and making sure that showing up to usher one night wasn't the whole price of being in the cast. Then, in the middle of the second song, a phone rang. "Hi Mom. No, the play has started. Yes I have a ride home. No, dad decided he wouldn't - It's fine -" "Excuse me, Ma'am," I hissed to the rapidly confiscated phone, tugging the usher towards the back doors by the hoodie, "Your daughter is working and we do not allow cell phones in the theater." "But -" "All calls must be taken IN THE HALLWAY (which we had reached by then) and your ringer is expected to be off." "And who are you?" "The Stage Manager," I said, like I was an actual responsible party, and hung up. "When you are done sorting this out, I expect neither you, nor your phone, to make a single sound for the rest of this play. Any upperclassman with an available car seat will give you a ride home if you need it." That made one freshie with the fear of House Manager put into them properly, hopefully it meant she'd behave in general. And walkie hell immediately broke loose. In the next, possibly forty minutes, by virtue of being the person who had already left the auditorium and was wearing normal clothes, I learned the following:

someone needed to run a repair kit up to the chorus holding room

Because Second Night Choral Lead (on props duty) and Opening Night Choral lead had gotten into a slapfight about discovering that they shared the costume

consisting of shoving and shouting that one of them would ruin it for the other because she was "too fat" for a one size fits all wrap dress

And inevitably torn it

Stage Manager could not handle this

Because she'd gone up to Choral Holding Area to tell everybody else in the chorus to shut the fuck up because they could be heard ON STAGE

And the Choir Divas had decided to lock her in a closet

so somebody allowed to have building keys (director) had to come and let her out and put the fear of god into them

So someone ELSE who knew blocking had to move to cues position

Because The Dude in The Plant was relying on that

So I had to go help cover for whatever they should be doing that didn't involve knowing the script

And somebody else had to go whipstitch Opening Night Choral Lead back into her damn dress before their next cue

Also The Dude In The Plant was concerned because the rolling portion of the stage felt kinda wrong? The part he was on? Inside the plant puppet?

The director needed a List Of People Whose Parents Were Going To Be Called after the play because we do not lock people into storage closets

And don't think he won't ALSO tell on you to the choir director who will have you out of SO MANY performances for this behavior.

Audrey the Human just tripped over something that shouldn't be backstage because Choral Lead two is being read the riot act instead of doing props

WHOEVER IS RUBBING FABRIC ON THEIR MIC OVER THE WALKIES NEEDS TO TURN IT OFF

Sorry the micbox is right next to the dress tear

The Dude in Audrey the Plant just felt something move that should not

The Dude Voicing Audrey the Plant informs me that one of my ushers has left and also left the door to the auditorium wide open

Surprisingly it is not little miss phone call

Anyway he's trapped in the sound booth waiting for his cue and Reliable Usher doesn't have a walkie

Chorus is back on stage, the riot act is in intermission, Background Chorus Choir Divas have declared that if they are removed from the Chorus for being loud assholes and derailing the whole cast and crew they won't usher and then where will we be?

GREAT! I DON'T WANT THEM!

Choral Lead Two is crying in the boys dressing room instead of running props because nobody's currently using the boys dressing room

Because Choral Lead One will be standing around in a spare sheet in the girls' dressing room while we fix her dress during intermission.

Dude in the Plant says, very quietly, "fuck"

As the combined weight of chorus and cast and plant muppet and dude in the plant and choreography breaks one of the casters on the set

Which fortunately only falls like a quarter inch so everyone stumbles and nobody is hurt

"Should I help?" No, Dude Voicing The Plant, STAY WHERE YOU ARE YOU ARE THE ONLY THING ABOUT THIS THAT'S GOING WELL

Chorus and Crew and Everyone except me (because I'm hunting for a MIA usher) is trying to deal with that rolling bit of set under the cover of SON BE A DEEEEENTIST, YOU'LL BE A SUCCESS!

Congrats my missing usher has not been teen-napped. She saw me putting the fear of god and of me into her castmate about cell phones and has stepped outside the entire building to I Do Not Care What But This Conversation can Wait we LEGALLY have to know where you are

Hey who is the fastest / most invisible sewer we have? Because this dress is messed up worse than we thought. We need them for all of intermission

Me, possibly, except I am working intermission?

Can you come at call tomorrow and fix it? We have safety pins

Sure

Why are there no safety pins in the safety pins box

I dunno why don't you ask the kid who was literally making a safety pin necklace last time I was at set build

Who?

IDK they're new probably

Rolling stage has been fixed! Well. Assuming we don't want it to move.

"Am I safe to eat the guy?" Yes, Dude In The Plant, chow down on our dentist, the set will hold.

Intermission.

THANK FUCK

A twenty five minute intermission is totally normal, Sirs and Ma'ams. Please feel free to buy cold stale football field popcorn.

Phonecall usher "Uh. So My dad. Decided he wasn't going to come pick me up at intermission."

I gave her the name of the senior with a car that I thought would be feeling least murderous, because I am not a complete monster.

No, sir, you cannot show up for the second half of a play and expect a half priced ticket. It is five. Goddamn. Dollars. Anyway somehow the worst thing that happened on second night was Dude Voicing the Plant deciding that he was actually brave and secular enough to do the swears so we got TWO people saying fuck directly into the microphone. He still passed on Tough Titties though.

#little shop of horrors #easily the worst play I was in #for a given value of in

[stuffedsand]

for the violence ask game: 8 common fandom opinion everyone is wrong about. for milgram. i know exactly what you're going to say i just want to see you go off again

Hiii bestie. You do know what I'm about to talk about. Yippee

Disclaimer that this whole essay is like. For fun and how I say things is ramped up to be funny. I don't mind if you disagree w me cuz like that's the nature of things! We disagree but we can get along.

Anyways short answer for people who don't wanna see the essay: organ harvesting theory. This is about shidou.

Idk how prevalent it is rn since not many people even talk about shidou but it was prevalent enough in June when I got into milgram that I believed it for a bit anyways the rest in under the cut cuz I'm insane sorrg

SO the main reason I think the theory is WRONG (hyperbole‼️) is because I just think it's unrealistic. Man works in a hospital in Japan. How would he pull it off. Scuff an operation bad enough to cause braindeath/death and I'm p sure they suspend your medical licence, if he participated in an organ harvesting operation pre-family-accident his case would then be black and white cuz he was doing it in complete sound mind with no regard for human life. Also it wouldn't justify the extreme reaction he's had to realizing, specifically, "what I've been robbing people of" (t1 voice trailer), and he wouldn't have as heavy a focus on the relatives' feelings and reactions. At least story writing wise it'd make less sense since it doesn't allude to anything if that's the end goal? Imo at least. Idk maybe this is because I really like tragedies in media. Also because it'd be a really disproportionately severe crime compared to every other direct murderer???? Like. We have strangled someone, stabbed someone, bludgeoning, bludgeoning, kicked someone to death. Organ harvesting looks cartoony in this context. It's also not a very prevelant issue in Japan iirc.

Also to prove my point further. If we use this theories the murders would be

Strangling, abortion??????, cyber bullying, stabbing, organ harvesting, toxic r/s, telling the truth (lmao), bludgeoning, bludgeoning, bludgeoning (minus weapon). Organ harvesting is goofy cuz it seems so.... Extreme,,,,,,,

ALSSOOOOO funny point. If he's not directly involved in his murder (as in, unintentional and indirect) that makes 5 direct and 5 indirect. Silly.

Also also his murder seems somewhat tied to how he feels about his job itself ("I wanted to contribute to society (about his career choice)/I had thought my work was a contribution to society", use of past tense) and to me it reads like hes disillusioned w his job esp since his reason for getting a highly sought after, high paying and high social ranking job is "I wanted to contribute to society". Doctors with that empathy can be affected by the death around them more severely and I think that's a fun topic to look at

I count this under "common fandom opinion" cuz it was common enough around June (whenyours truesly got into milgram) that I believed it. I mean I introduced shidou to my friend (hello clown) as "maybe Dr malpractice. Organ harvesting dude" and said friend (hello again clown) is also the one who's heard me bash the organ harvesting theory like 6 times at least now so. Yippee.

Take none of this seriously I just got off a plane and am so very eepy. If you like the organ harvesting theory good for you!!!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥 you do you bestie !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I literally do not think less of anyone who believes that theory I just personally dont lmao

#sand speaks #hiiiii bestie my silly mutual. youve heard this rant before now for it poorly formatted in text #i mean its better formatted than when i actually talk abt it cuz if i wrote it the way i originally did the points would not be organised #like at all. itd be so bad #anyways all of this is lighthearted i dont think less of anyone with different opinions i just. dont believe the theory at all #i like the tragedy thag comes woth it technhcally not being his fault but also kinda being his fault. #like maybe he had really bad manners towards relatives. or horribls bedside manner (youre in my way just die already“ like ok mr kirisaki. #dont say that to a comatose patient my dude. but yeah it can be argued that morally hed be in the wdong #or if he persuaded relatives to dknate patients organs. which is rude and also malpractice (coercion and taking advantage of ppl in vulnerab #and with his themes of lying (covers) i fhink it could wither be lying to relatives of patients OR. him seeing hsi work and the promise of #saving people from illness or death as a lie and a hoax becasye so many people died anyways despite those promises #anhwyas im insane about this man. characters with extreme worldviews entirely of their own making my beloved #like nothing told him to believe this. he just does and thats whats interesting to me #anywasy suuper sorry about the big essay and the many tags. i love this fandom #i have so much to say but so little phone battery. and mental battery its Zzzzzzzzz time #tell me if abything in here sounds mean or anything btw im too used to being mean as a jokiing thing so im worried ill offend someone

[dattosdan]

You know something I was thinking about the other day in regard to the other world sans theory, you know how the newsletter hinted at papyrus also being from another world?

It got me thinking about neutral runs, and why Sans's mental stability is affected so much by whether papyrus is alive or not, like even if everyone else is dead, he's pretty chill as long as papyrus is around, and even if everyone else is alive, he's pretty pissed even if you ONLY killed papyrus.

Now that could just be because papyrus is his brother, having close family around can help with that kind of stuff, and losing them would hurt really bad, especially if you actually spared some people, implying that you had mercy in your heart, you just didn't spare any for papyrus, a beacon of kindness who literally can't even kill you, unlike other monsters, which you presumably spared.

But like, sans is a VERY social guy, he has a lot of friends, and thus a lot of emotional support, you'd think a guy like that would more chill about this, especially considering the number of things he lets you get away with before stepping in, but all it takes papyrus to die for sans mental health to go down drastically.

But that's just it, what if these emotional support pillars called friends and colleagues, ARNT as stable as they should be? What if papyrus was the strongest pillar holding it all together? This is where I get back on topic to the otherworld sans theory.

You see, if sans ISNT from this world, then his connections to the people around him are lot more superficial then they might seem on a first glance, sure he cares about these people, but to him, a lot of them are people he already knew, people he already knew how to make laugh, how to make comfortable, how to be cool with, while they have very little knowledge about him.

In other words, these relationships are very one sided, sans already know how to befriend them, while they like sans for presumably accommodating them without him even having to try, they didn't actually have to go through the process of making a relationship, and could skip straight to the friend's part, it's no wonder he's so popular, dude is actually playing new game plus with relationships!

And because of all that, sans doesn't really have that much of a connection with them, it doesn't help that he doesn't have a lot in common with these people either, they lived their entire lives underneath a mountain, they have a different culture that he's not used to and doesn't know the ins and outs of, and they presumably all know every little thing about the mountain they call home, where as sans doesn't know and hasn't experienced any of this before, he's had to try and play it cool, pretending he knows what's up to not seem like an outsider, in order to "fit in"

Anyway, point is, while he may have a lot of "friends" those people don't know much about him, and thus, couldn't REALLY support him if it came down to it, but there is one person who would get it, just one, a very important one, papyrus.

If papyrus really IS from another world like sans, then he could confide in him fully, they are brothers, good ones at that, any trouble they may have had adjusting to this world, and worries, anything small or insignificant, they could talk about it, or not, and just chill knowing they are the same, and that, at the very least, they are not alone.

But when you kill papyrus, you take away a MASSIVE pillar from the structure that is his mental health, you take away not only his brother, but his most trusted confidant, the person who he values more than himself, his last remaining connection to his old world, his old friends, his old life, you're not just taking away his brother, your taking away a huge part of sans, one that he values very highly judging by the don't forget photo, and his genocide speech about letting go and giving up, which is implied to be referring to him trying to back home.

Anyway, these are angsty thoughts I had, maybe I'll find it cringe in hindsight and delete it, I just value sibling relationships a lot, being a brother myself, and wanted to talk about sans and papyrus's relationship.

Also, the newsletter was pretty good.

#hope we get more characters awnsering questions #maybe ralsei? #that would be cool #angsty thoughts #undertale thoughts #undertale theory #undertale analysis #sans undertale #undertale sans #sans #otherworld sans theory #sans the skeleton #papyrus #undertale #utdr #undertale papyrus #papyrus undertale #undertale textpost #textpost #text post #undertale text post #papyrus the skeleton #Also dont expect me to talk about sans much #he's really popular so theres not a lot i can add to the conversation lol #maybe more papyrus tho

[garbage--account]

Hello bestiieeee!! I am very interested in all of your fubuki hcs!! Can I hear them?

Ofc bestie,

Where do i even begin ?

He used to be a very shy person when little, like to introvert to function. Someone (who is not his parent) told him being tipsy un-shy people and gave him bottles to drink everyday. Since then he is an alcoholic, thanks random dude.

Very admired by Yukimura and seems highly regarded in Hakuren in Go era. But don't follow him after school : he goes to a pub to get absolutely wasted and lose his money on stupid bets.

Don't get fooled on his seemingly gentleness : he alreaded gossiped and rosted on you and your whole dynasty with his bro (in og in his head, irl in areorion). Even when they clearly needed help. At some point, he feels guilty to talk shit about ppl and says "but who are we to judge anyway" with a straight face, and then proceed to burst in laughter seconds later.

Shirou and Atsuya in areorion be like : "a blizzard is forming! Byyyye. But before we go skating"

The most chaotic and worst driver ever, he lost his license years ago but still drivin anyway. Irony since his trauma is technically car accident. Once, he drove yukimura to hakuren since he missed the bus : the later will forever regret this mistake, still haunts his nightmare. On the highway, yukimura realized he forgot something at home, so fubuki drove backward, slaloming between incoming cars. Fubuki was very calm and composed during the trip, even eating his breakfast while driving and taking sips pf beer.

I feel like him and Kazemaru were the lead singers in the dorm during FFI, blasting the dramatic and/or cheesy romantic music until late at night, when Fudou usually snaps and tell em to stfu.

At some point, i hc him as a trans male because of a fanfic (i am only human after all).

Has no fashion sense and a very peculiar way to decorate his room : almost no furniture, everything in boxes, and has a random buffet dude as poster. There is almost no food in fridge, only drinks, but boy do he has medicines.

I think this all for the moment.... do you want me to do atsuya?

#inazuma eleven #fubuki shirou

[ichayalovesyou]

Gray-Ace/Sex Repulsed SNW Spock: Feeling Seen as a Graysexual Man 💜🖤🤍

Spock being gray-asexual and sex repulsed/neutral is basically 100% canon at this point thanks to Strange New Worlds, there’s very little denying it. And! I am SO happy!!

We never get talked about, especially not us ace dudes, and certainly not on-screen! I feel so goddamn seen by SNW Spock in this regard it’s kinda crazy.

Spock is out here RUNNING away from T’Pring, his own goddamn fiancé, because he’s not emotionally attracted to her enough and/or hasn’t known her long enough to be comfortable having sex with her for the most part. That absolutely tracks!

I mean, he’d rather cut his shore leave short to go help space dad than have obligatory highly logically commemorative engagement sex after T’Pring proposed to him! Even though he said yes! (Because he’s An Idiot 💕)

The one time they did do the deed was because they hit an emotional breakthrough understanding each other, or at least felt like they did. *cue Looking For Love (In All The Wrong Places)*

And even AFTER that, Spock NOPES the fuck out (complete with a tea spit take) when T’Pring brings up human sex stuff in Serene Squall. And they’re not even in person it’s a fucking Zoom call! 😂😂😂 They are SO not at all on the same page! Poor guy!! Chapel, Christine honey please help a guy out and tell him what asexuality is! Please! It’ll make things so much less painful for him for the love of gods!

If y’all think SNW’s Spock arc changed the fact that he canonically has an extreme aversion to sex (at the very least sex with T’Pring) I really don’t think we’ve been watching the same show??

The fundamental thing wrong with their relationship is Spock straight up doesn’t wanna have sex with her. But he has NO idea how to articulate it! That’s a BIG deal! And super relatable!! He’s doing literally everything else other than tell her he doesn’t like sex. He’s avoiding her through work, he has sex with her because it feels like he should, he cuts the most casual conversation about sex short because he’s uncomfortable!

Like, I have BEEN where Spock is right now, with so many relationships!! Some partners understood, some of them really, r e a l l y did not. And I didn’t know how to label it until a while after I started having serious adult relationships.

I also definitely know what it’s like to feel compelled by the expectations of your culture or partner or family to be more intimate with somebody than your ever going to be comfortable with. No matter how much you love or feel emotionally/physically/aesthetically attracted to them.

None of that is gonna change the fact that you Do Not Like Sex, you can experience sexual thoughts/desires and still dislike having sex! Spock is struggling the way a lot of people who fall on the ace spectrum do, myself included!

Anyway, Spock is and always has been ace and I am HERE for the queer representation, even if they aren’t saying it out loud 🖖🏻 (yet?)

#the sheer amount of aphobia Spock has received from even the aro/ace community has been fucking INSANE actually #the amount of aphobia I HAVE RECEIVED regarding my opinions on Ace Spock has been crazy #there’s not one universal kind of ace #Spock has always been sex repulsed #SNW has not changed that at all! #he’s just not completely unwilling to have sex if he feels attracted to a person (or feels like he should be attracted to them) #anyway #representation matters #queer representation #ace representation #ace spectrum #ace spectrum representation #asexual #graysexual #asexuality #graysexuality #sex repulsed #sex neutral #cw sex mention #star trek #spock #t’pring #nurse chapel #snw spock #strange new worlds #Star Trek strange new worlds #snw #Star Trek snw #spock amok #the serene squall

[septembersghost]

i like ana as a cuban myself and im glad she's making it, but she's been doing the most with the promotion of that film. oates was obsessed with sexual abuse and would romanticize it to hell and back and this is all so disrespectful. marilyn will never be left alone and she's dead. it's disgusting how she was never a person but a product and continues to be

ana's comments have been annoyingly tone deaf, but my issues are far more with the director, whose comments i find abhorrent, and the producers (amongst them br*d p*tt), and, netflix itself at this point (there was a report that netflix was "absolutely horrified" by the final cut - okay? you're the distributors, you can make the decision here), and the fact that for every woman online discussing this with deep concerns, or talking about being horribly triggered by it, or trying to defend and uphold marilyn's true memory, there are men replying, at best, "it's ~art~, you just don't get it," or at WORST (and i have seen this over and over again, i deleted my post about it the other night, but it's disgusting and deeply telling), openly excited at seeing the graphic r*pe scenes and the degradation threaded throughout the film, down to comments where they're replying with their whole chests that they can't wait to get off to it, down to the dude i saw who, when in response to a woman asking what is wrong with him that he wants to see marilyn fictionally assaulted, he said, "it's not about seeing marilyn being r*ped, it's about seeing ana de armas as marilyn being r*ped." they have no shame and no compunction about saying this aloud. and no doubt a lot of it is about titillation over marilyn herself, but marilyn has now been gone for so long and is so mythologized and commodified that she's no longer a real person, she's only a poster of a white skirt blowing in the subway breeze, she's only a body. it's been sixty years, and you'd think somehow she'd be treated more carefully and respectfully at some point.

it negates her humanity, her talent, and the reality of her abuse (why are we adding heinous fictional abuse onto the life of a woman who WAS subjected to abuse and hurt and objectification across her short life?). i have no idea if the film even touches on the medical trauma she endured, for example, both physical (particularly in regards to her endometriosis) and mental (and what she was subjected to during her forced hospital stay), but i know there's a depiction of a talking fetus, so that tells me enough. oates is someone i have countless issues with anyway, and blonde is neither the first nor the last time she fictionalized real life events in the most traumatic way possible with no respect for the victims. you're right, she seems to have a fixation on this topic.

what breaks my heart is i know this story reduces marilyn to a shell, a broken doll, the helpless dumb blonde beauty who was exploited and used by men for their pleasure, devoid of self-respect, desperate to be loved, dragging herself towards her tragic end, and that's not who she was. that's the boilerplate version that was sold of her. she was a sensitive, thoughtful, savvy woman; she was well-read, she was ambitious (do they even bother to mention her production company? her progressive politics? her wry humor? her extensive library? do they touch on, as the post i reblogged mentioned, her conversion to judaism and her studies?), she longed to be appreciated for her talent and not her physical form, she tried to improve and grow, and yes, she did yearn for love and belonging and a family and motherhood after an upbringing of neglect and abuse, but degrading and exploiting her further isn't the way to examine that or get it across. and idc how often they say this is a highly fictionalized account, plenty of people will watch it not knowing that, and take it as some semblance of fact (this happens with biopics all the time), and it's a disgrace to her legacy. i try not to be a proponent of saying certain art/stories within reason shouldn't exist, but there was no defensible argument for this to be made. marilyn is never allowed to be seen as a whole person. marilyn is never allowed to rest. exactly as you said, she's used as nothing but a product. this was her worst fear. she said, "i hope they don't do that to me after i'm gone." she deserves to be remembered as a person. she deserved better then, she unquestionably deserves better now.

not to give credit to arthur miller, but he said, "to have survived, she would have had to be either more cynical or even further from reality than she was. instead, she was a poet on a street corner trying to recite to a crowd pulling at her clothes." they're still pulling at her clothes, at this point they're digging at her grave.

but let's ultimately look at marilyn's words, the real things she left us to consider, which matter most. she left us her films, her luminous image, but she also left us her poetry and written accounts of her life and interviews that are far more fascinating and relevant than any gratiuitous fiction could ever be.

marilyn said, in an interview given just before her death: "I never wanted to be Marilyn—it just happened. Marilyn’s like a veil I wear over Norma Jeane...I can always find Marilyn in the mirror."

"it's still about nudity. is that all I'm good for?"

"But when you're famous you kind of run into human nature in a raw kind of way. It stirs up envy, fame does. People you run into feel that, well, who is she, who does she think she is, Marilyn Monroe? They feel fame gives them some kind of privilege to walk up to you and say anything to you, you know, of any kind of nature and it won't hurt your feelings. Like it's happening to your clothing. One time here I am looking for a home to buy and I stopped at this place. A man came out and was very pleasant and cheerful, and said, "Oh, just a moment, I want my wife to meet you." Well, she came out and said, "Will you please get off the premises?" You're always running into people's unconscious...Usually they don't say it to me, they say it to the newspapers because that's a bigger play. You know, if they're only insulting me to my face that doesn't make a big enough play because all I have to say is, "See you around, like never." But if it's in the newspapers, it's coast-to-coast and all around the world. I don't understand why people aren't a little more generous with each other."

"It's nice to be included in people's fantasies, but you also like to be accepted for your own sake. I don't look at myself as a commodity, but I'm sure a lot of people have."

"It was the creative part that kept me going, trying to be an actress. I enjoy acting when you really hit it right. And I guess I've always had too much fantasy to be only a housewife. Well, also, I had to eat. I was never kept, to be blunt about it; I always kept myself. I have always had a pride in the fact that I was my own."

"I'm one of the world's most self-conscious people. I really have to struggle. An actor is not a machine, no matter how much they want to say you are. Creativity has got to start with humanity and when you're a human being, you feel, you suffer."

"There is a need for aloneness, which I don't think most people realize for an actor. It's almost having certain kinds of secrets for yourself that you'll let the whole world in on only for a moment, when you're acting. But everybody is always tugging at you. They'd all like sort of a chunk of you."

"I think that when you are famous every weakness is exaggerated. This industry should behave like a mother whose child has just run out in front of a car. But instead of clasping the child to them, they start punishing the child."

"Fame has a special burden, which I might as well state here and now. I don't mind being burdened with being glamorous and sexual. But what goes with it can be a burden."

"I never quite understood it, this sex symbol. I always thought symbols were those things you clash together! That's the trouble, a sex symbol becomes a thing. I just hate to be a thing."

"I don't think people will turn against me, at least not by themselves. I like people. The "public" scares me, but people I trust. Maybe they can be impressed by the press or when a studio starts sending out all kinds of stories. But I think when people go to see a movie, they judge for themselves. We human beings are strange creatures and still reserve the right to think for ourselves."

"It might be a kind of relief to be finished. You have to start all over again. But I believe you're always as good as your potential. I now live in my work and in a few relationships with the few people I can really count on. Fame will go by, and, so long, I've had you fame. If it goes by, I've always known it was fickle. So at least it's something I experienced, but that's not where I live."

#anonymous #sorry this is long but it hurts and upsets me #as someone who has felt deeply about her as a person for a very long time #marilyn monroe #blonde #letterbox #blonde 2022

[ironmanfridgemagnet]

Sitting On The Shelf - Marcus White x Reader

Part 20 - Seasonal Help

SOTS Masterlist

"I can't fucking believe that Glenn hired Adam." You scoffed, slouching down into your chair and cradling your warm cup of coffee between your hands as a scowl settled on your face. Of all the things that could've happened, you firmly believed this was the worst - though you respected Adam enough, it wasn't enough for you to not complain about him at every given opportunity.

"Dude's a complete clutz - and on top of that a 'grade A' asshole - he's not going to get anything done, he has all the competency of a new-born baby. He'd loose his head if it wasn't attached to his neck!" Swirling the bitter liquid around the half-empty mug, you sighed before taking another sip, allowing the coffee to burn against the roof of your mouth before swallowing the drink. "I just don't know what Glenn was thinking."

"I'm sensing some unresolved tension there." Garrett commented, a brash laugh escaping your chest at the nuance of his words. 

"Really?" You asked, biting back another bitter laugh. "I thought I sounded totally chill."

Garrett wasn't wrong. Though it had been months since Adam had told your secret in front of the entire store, you still held a lot of resentment over it - it had been your secret to share, not his, and he hadn't given you that chance. Let alone regarding the fact that he had never truly apologised for what he did. Sure, he had gotten Amy to tell you he was sorry - but as far as you were concerned, that didn't count. You'd accept his apology when he said it to your face, with his his mouth this time.

"And also." You continued, taking in a deep breath before shuffling closer towards Garrett. "There are far too many people in the breakroom for my liking. I hate the seasonal help."

Sinking deeper into your seat, and now Garrett's side, you let out a deep sigh, deciding then and there you were going to do anything and everything you could to get out of working with anyone or anything today. You highly doubted most people would still be here come the end of the first shift - Adam included - and you hoped if you could skive today, you could avoid working with him all together. 

"Okay, everyone. Good morning! Let's settle down. Um, 'tis the season. And I'd like to give a permanent welcome to all our new temporary workers in the light blue vests." A round of applause ensued at Glenn's command, you and your fellow permanent workers welcoming all of the temporary workers. "Now, I haven't put all the faces to the names yet, but I do know that you are Reggie and and we now have a Black Todd. Nope, you'll just be Todd. Uh, you'll be White Todd? Thank you. And, uh, oh, and this sweetheart here is Opal, who, at 90 years old, I think is the oldest employee we've ever had."

"Oh, and lastly, let's give a big Cloud 9 welcome to Amy's better half, Adam Dubanowski." While others called for Adam's welcome, you booed - though only loud enough for Garrett to hear who elbowed your sharply in the side despite how he tried to control himself from laughing.

"Um, I just wanted to tell you all not to treat me any differently just 'cause I'm sleeping with the boss." Adam announced, rising from his chair and addressing the whole room, receiving few laughs at his comment.

"He means Amy, not me. I'm not gay." Glenn reaffirmed, eliciting a chuckle from you, the comment seeming to break the tension that had formed in yourself.

"Anyway, if you have any questions about Amy, come see me. I've got all the dirt." Of course Adam would say something like that; God, he'd been here for all of five minutes and was already getting on your nerves.

"Seriously?" Amy spat, turning to face Adam with a frown on her face, her arms folded angrily across her chest. 

"Oh, right. Sorry, Bean." Adam's apology seemed sincere enough, though the mindless use of the nickname seemed to be digging him a deeper and deeper hole.

"All right, uh, moving on. Tornado safety..." Glenn announced in an effort to continue his morning debrief before tens of temporary workers would be released onto the store floor - unknowing and untrained in anything and everything. Fuck, you hated this time of year.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, not moving on." Garrett announced, turning to face the couple with great interest in where such a nickname had come from. "I want to know why you just called her Bean."

"It's 'cause she's small." Adam explained, a loving, fond smile forming across his face as Amy's lips sunk into a frown, heat flushing her cheeks as Adam continued to reveal secrets she'd managed to keep privy. "When we first got together, it was so cute, the way she'd sleep. Just like my little naked bean."

"Ew, I did not need to know that." You scoffed, hiding slightly behind your mug of coffee in hopes that you could escape Adam's eyeline as you criticized his behaviour.

"Stop. Please, can you stop?" Amy pleaded, sinking into her chair as the entirety of the breakroom's attention was now on her and Adam.

"Okay, well, any more questions?" At an onslaught of hands being raised, you sunk down into your chair with a guttural groan, knowing it would be a long while before you could get your hands on Glenn to ask to go home.

"What's wrong, doll face?" Garrett asked, leaning his head on the palm of his hand as he leant closer to talk to you.

"I'm not staying here today. I'll come back tomorrow when 90% of the temps have quit - hopefully, including Adam." Garrett cringed at your bitter tone, pulling away from you as a look of amusement settled on his face.

"So, you really don't like the guy, huh?" 

That was probably an understatement. Though you remained thankful that Adam had allowed you to come into his home and live there (though you knew Amy was the main force to thank for that), Adam's consistently self-absorbed attitude ruined what little respect you thought you could have had for him. Everything that happened in the Dubanowski household seemed to centre around Adam - Gas and electric bill gone up? Adam's new hobby uses a lot of electricity. You and Amy working overtime to help cover the new cost of the bill? Adam won't so someone must. Emma doesn't get to go on her girl scouts trip and Amy looses a weekend to herself for once? Adam really needed to go to that convention. It just felt as though his selfishness was intentional sometimes, and you couldn't stand him for that; especially when you often saw the affect it seemed to have on Amy.

"Yeah. I guess I don't." With a shrug, you took another sip of coffee, quickly finishing the mug off and standing from your seat. Promising that you'd at least catch Garrett on your way out of the store - if you could convince Glenn to let you go - you followed after Glenn, who had finally seemed to escape the crowd of questions, to his office.

——————————————————————————————————

Taking a deep breath, you knocked on the door, pushing the door open as Glenn's meek come in.

"Oh, y/n. Hello! Take a seat!" Sliding into the cushioned chair across from a now much-chirpier Glenn, you greeted him with a meek smile, suddenly lacking the confidence that you had had prior to entering the confined space. '"I'm glad it was you - I was nervous it was going to another temporary worker. I love expanding our Cloud 9 family, but my goodness is it tiring explaining the simplest thing over and over again." 

Despite Glenn's tense tone, a wide smile still resided on his face. "What can I help you with?"

"Oh, um, I was just wondering if I could - y'know - like, maybe... go home?" Sounding rather unsure of your words could only benefit you in this situation, Glenn seeming to take your hesitance as more of a reason as to why he should let you go home, despite having been on shift for an hour at the most. 

"What's wrong? Are you feeling okay?" Glenn asked, smile quickly dissolving as concern clouded his features, a hand reaching across the desk and out towards you in an effort to comfort whatever ailment was troubling you. 

"Oh, yeah, just not feeling too good. I don't want to not give Cloud 9 my best. Figured it was probably better to take a day out and come back ready to go tomorrow."  The Cloud 9 card, not something you felt you could use often, but something that you knew wouldn't fail to pull at Glenn's corporate-pleasing heartstrings.

"Oh well, I get that. You should probably head out then - maybe go and see a doctor too." You nodded silently, trying to prevent a smile from curling onto your face as you had managed to wiggle yourself out of spending time in close quarters with Adam all day. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then: but don't be afraid to take another day off if you need. You've got a lot of sick days and holidays available to you, y/n. Maybe you should use some of them." 

Giving Glenn a gentle nod, you rose from your seat, backing out towards the door with a fake cough that scratched slightly at the flesh of your throat. "Maybe, Glenn. Thank you."

Closing the door behind you, you waited until you were around the corner to rush away from Glenn's office and back into the breakroom, quickly pulling your jacket out of your locker - which you had crammed in assuming the coat hanger would get too full and potentially topple over or have your jacket lost to the abyss - and slipping it over your shoulders. Grabbing your bag from your locker as well, you closed the door, heading out of the breakroom and in search of Garret before you made your leave.

"Hey, Gare." You yelled as you approached the customer service desk, alerting the announcer to your presence. "I got a favour to ask."

"Well I don't quite believe it." Garrett scoffed, arms folding across his chest as he looked up at you, eyebrows quirked in a mix of disbelief and confusion. "How'd you wriggle yourself out of this one?"

"Dude, I've had like one sick day in my entire time working here. Glenn was practically begging me to go and never come back." You admitted, leaning over the counter as you talked to Garrett. "Anyways, can I borrow your car?"

"What?"

"Can I borrow it? I'll bring it back before your shift's over. Promise." Sticking out your pinkie finger for Garrett to accept your agreement, you waited with baited breath, hoping he would lend you his car. As he didn't immediately agree, you jutted out your bottom lip, putting your hands together in a praying motion as you stared the man down.

"Ugh, fine. Anything for you doll." Garrett finally caved, fishing his car keys out of his pocket and throwing them into your open palm. Leaning across the counter, you wrapped your arms around him, squeezing tightly before pulling back and planting a hard kiss to his cheek. With a cry of thank you, you ran towards the exit of the store. "I get off at 4!"

Rushing across the parking lot, you found Garrett's car, quickly unlocking it and sliding into the driver side. Reversing out of the parking space, you drove away from Cloud 9, one destination clear in your mind.

——————————————————————————————————

Pushing past the door of Sunnyside Diner, a bell rung above your head, alerting the few people that sat scattered across the diner to your presence. Scurrying across to the counter, you sat at one of the red, leather stools, pulling up your bag to rest on the counter top. Pulling out Garrett's laptop that you had found discarded in the passenger seat, you turned it on, dropping your bag to the floor as you allowed it to load up.

"Well, well, sunshine." Bobby teased, coming out of the kitchen, an armful of glasses tucked carefully into his hold, that he gently began to place on a shelf against the back wall of the diner. "I know I said to not be a stranger, but that didn't mean you had to come back the next day."

"Good morning, Bobby." You nodded curtly at the older man, a gentle smile forming on your face at the sweetness of the interaction.

"Marcus boy with you?" He asked, leaning his forearms against the counter top as he took a break from his work to talk to you.

The diner looked different in the daylight - the neon-lighted signs weren't as bright as they were in the blackness of the winter nights sky and the light beaming through the window-wide caricature filled the diner with streams of rainbow light, yet the same few customers as were there last night seemed to loiter around the cabin.

"Oh. Um, no. I'm kind of hiding out here." You admitted, fiddling with the mousepad of the laptop as you opened Garrett's search engine, not recognising the purple swirled logo.

"Ah, well. Glad you made it here okay. Didn't think you'd come back alone."

"Oh I took quite a few wrong turns, I'll admit. But I'm here now." The pair of you laughed, tension of talking with a semi-stranger easily fading as you got into the swing of small talk; the older man's kind face making it easier then it ever had been before.

"So why are you hiding out, huh? World's a big and scary place; can't imagine Sunnyside is the nicest place to hide." 

"Oh, um, my mom's husband is a dick. And he's working at our store as a seasonal temp - I lasted abut 5 minutes before I decided I couldn't handle it." You revealed, avoiding Bobby's eyes as you spoke, instead focusing on the laptop that you'd stolen from Garrett's car with intent, not just to occupy your time away from the store. 

"Well, I hope you know you're welcome here anytime." Bobby smiled at you, pulling out a notepad from his apron's pocket and a pen out from behind his ear. "Now, what can I get for you?"

"Just a coffee would be nice. Thank you."

Having found the St. Louis relators website, you filtered out everything that was way too far out of your price point and narrowed down the area you'd prefer to live in; limiting your options to apartments within a mile of the store that you hoped you'd be able to afford. Though you'd only thought about moving out over the past few months, the more time you spent around Adam, the more you knew it was the next step for you.

You'd been thinking about moving out ever since the day Adam had tried to buy a grill in the store, and each day since you'd felt as though you'd overstayed your welcome in the Dubanowski house. While you knew you'd have to move out sooner or later, you felt as though you'd been ready to do so for a while - the one thing that seemed to be holding you back was Amy. You loved Amy, a lot, and Emma too, and leaving them behind felt like a step you weren't entirely ready to take; the fear that you'd lose them as important people in your life if you moved out holding you back.

"Now I don't mean to pry." Bobby spoke, leaning over your shoulder as he poured some coffee out of the steaming kettle and into the white, ceramic teacup you hadn't realised he'd set down in front of you. "But if you're looking for a place for the two of you, you might want to pick somewhere further on the outskirts of town - cheaper rent and usually a bit bigger cause they're out of the way."

"Two of us?" You asked, thanking him before bringing the black coffee to your lips and blowing gently on the boiling liquid before taking a careful sip.

"For you and Marcus." Chocking on the small sip you'd taken, you placed the cup back down on the countertop and smacked your fist against your chest in an attempt to get your spluttering to stop.

"Oh. Oh, no. Me and Marcus, we- I haven't- We've only ever been on one date; if you could even call it that." You revealed, coughing to clear your tight throat and try and stomach the coffee that hadn't gone down your windpipe. "It wasn't even meant to be just us when we came here, 's just how things turned out."

"Oh, really?" Bobby quirked his eyebrow at you as though he didn't believe what he'd heard - the version of events he'd heard from Marcus you had no clue about, but you imagined it would be similar to your own. "I figured you'd been together for a while; you seemed quite... couple-y, if you will."

"You think?" You asked before you could stop yourself, the idea that you and Marcus had seemed so obviously together to an outside making your heart beat a little too quickly. Humming to yourself, you took another sip of coffee - not chocking this time - and instead letting the cooled-down drink slide down your throat with ease.

Bobby left your side once more, taking a notepad and coffee pot with him as he went and attended to other customers within the diner as you continued to scroll through the apartment listings. Flickering between listing after listing, you continued your search for an apartment that at least fit some of the criteria you wanted, knowing realistically you would be lucky to find something within walking radius of the store, let alone anything else. Coming to the last page of the website you clicked on a listing for an apartment that appeared to be within walking distance from Amy's house - still a good car ride away from the store but close by to Amy? That was a sacrifice you'd be willing to make.

The apartment was on the fifth floor of the complex it was settled in, both stairs and an elevator built-in to the building which was a good start. Clicking onto the listing, you viewed the photos that showcased different parts of the apartment: a small kitchen bled into a living room, the apartment seeming relatively small but open plan by its design, two bedrooms (though one was closer to the size of a storage room, barely big enough to fit a bed and chest of drawers) and a box-sized bathroom. It was big enough for your lonesome though, and it had large windows and one of those fire-escape balconies and despite the fact it didn't meet most of the things you were hoping for it seemed good enough. The fact it was only two streets over from Amy and Emma a big factor in why you seemed to have so quickly fallen in love with the cramped housing.

Tapping on the link at the bottom of the listings page, you opened up a form to request a meeting with the owner of the complex, hoping that you'd be able to get an in person viewing before you committed to anything. You could more then afford the rent, your full time wage and savings you'd accumulated while living with Amy being enough for a down payment and a months rent in advance if they asked for it.

Closing the tabs you'd opened and the the laptop itself, you slipped it back into your bag, this time keeping the bag against the table top as you finished the last of your coffee. Slipping a $20 bill under the cup to keep it in its place, knowing it would cover the cup of coffee and then some, you jumped down from your stool, knowing you needed to head back now to make sure you met Garrett before his shift was over to return his car and keys to him.

"Thanks Bobby!" You shouted over to the older man as you walked towards the door, waving him goodbye as you left the diner for the second time in the past 24 hours.

"Anytime, sunshine. Anytime."

——————————————————————————————————

Walking backing into the store, you walked towards customer service wherein you'd hoped you'd find Garrett, only to ne met with the sights of Dina, Jonah and Garrett crowing around the counter top. "Yeah, I feel terrible. I didn't realize they were Last Chances."

"Who were last chances?" You asked slipping under Jonah's arm so that it rested across the tops of your shoulders, appreciating the warmth against the cold fall air outside.

"The temps Jonah bet on quitting." Garrett revealed, your jaw hanging slack - though it was shocking that he'd bet on the last chances temps, you were more surprised that he'd made a bet at all. Jonah had mentioned in passing his aversion to gambling after a series of unfortunate events in college, so the fact he'd somehow caved for a bet on the temps surprised you the most.

"I did. I thought that was why we were betting on them." Dina admitted, looking out at the few temps that still remained then turning to you. "I though Glenn sent you home sick?"

"Oh, um, he did." You explained, trying to think of a lie; Glenn had approved your sick day, thinking it had been because of sickness, but you couldn't be bothered to deal with a disproving glare from Dina at the truth. "Just came to tell him I'll be back tomorrow. Clean bill of health from the doc'."

"Really? That was quick. You'll have to give me the name of your GP." Dina words caused you to try and splutter an excuse as to why that wouldn't be possible, but Dina dismissed it with a wave of her hand. "We can discuss the details later." 

"Whoo! Is it hot in here today? Do I look flushed to you?" Amy asked as she approached the group of you, coming to stop across from you and Jonah and picking up one of the leaflets on the counter and fanning herself with it.

"What do you mean by flushed? Do you mean tired?" Dina asked, breaking her gaze from the remaining temps to scan her eyes over Amy's figure. "Because you always look tired."

"Oh, my back hurts." Amy emphasised, stretching her back and rubbing at her waist as though to really try and convince you of whatever had happened. "That table in the Photo Lab is really uncomfortable."

"The Photo Lab?" Jonah asked, wincing at the connotation of the question alone.

"Oops. Busted! No, me and Adam..." Amy made squeaking noises, trying to mimic the sound of a bed being bounced on as though you didn't know what she was on about. "S-sex."

"Ew." You cringed, not wanting to hear more about Amy and Adam's private lives then you needed to; seeing Amy as a parental figure in your life making the confession all the more weirder. "Once again, I did not need to know that."

"Yeah, no, we got it." Garrett reaffirmed, giving Amy a tight-lipped, tense smile as she walked away from the customer service counter, her hips swaying from side-to-side as she left.

Tucking you head into Jonah's chest, you let out a groan - Amy's admission having made things unusually tense and awkward. Digging your hands around in your pockets, you pulled out Garrett's keys, sliding them to him across the countertop as you pulled away from Jonah's hold with a final, goodbye squeeze.

"Thanks again." You said, walking backwards away from the customer service desk in the direction Amy had just strutted off in. "I'll see you guys tomorrow then."

"No problem, doll. See you later." 

"Hey Ames!" You shouted chasing after the woman as she continued to walk away swinging her hips.

"Where were you today?" She asked, the pair of your walking in step towards the back of the store where you hoped Amy would be grabbing her things to come home with you.

"Took a sick day. Didn't want to put up with the temps." You admitted, Amy's eyes boring into the side of your head, as if she was expecting you to say something more then just that. "And Adam."

"Sounds about right." Amy muttered, pushing past the doors of the breakroom and b-lining straight for her locker, pulling out her bag and throwing it over her shoulder.

"Amy?" You asked, your meek tone causing Amy's head to snap up from where she had been staring into her bag, routing around for her keys.

"Yes, Mi Chiquita." She replied, closing her locker and taking a cautious step towards you. 

"I think I'm ready to move out."

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——————————————————————————————————

Hey guys!!

I hoped you enjoyed this weeks part, I know it doesn't necessarily follow the shows plot for this episode but I was really struggling to get into the grove of seasonal help. I'm sorry if anything about looking into buying an apartment was wrong I've never done it before lol. 

Also, I'm sorry it's out today instead of Wednesday and its a bit shorter then usual, but it's here now which is what matters :) 

GP stands for General Practitioner - IDK if those are a thing else where, but It's what we call your like personal, local doctor where I live - sorry for any confusion that may have caused.

Anyway more Bobby!!!content. I low-key head canon Jim Beaver as Bobby, I won't lie and have just stolen him from South Dakota for the sake of Sunnyside diner.

I hope you enjoyed!! If any feedback or criticism please let me know so I can improve for both me and you.

As always, have a lovely week!! <333

#sitting on the shelf marcus white x reader #superstore x reader #cloud 9 #superstore imagine #marcus white #marcus white x reader #marcus superstore #marcus white imagine #superstore marcus imagine

[waitmyturtles]

Ichigeki review! And you almost will certainly ask, what, my dear, is an Ichigeki? Yes, I will explain:

I’m still on my little Machida Keita/Akaso Eiji rabbithole kick, simply because I cannot shake Cherry Magic from my existence, and I’ve been pretty vocal about how disappointed I’ve been in some of Machida’s more normie/cishet roles, simply because I don’t think the scripts leverage his range. (This does not quite apply to Akaso, as I think....shhhh... that Akaso is the stronger actor, and he’s had a lot better roles thrown at him more recently, including Maiagare, Ishiko to Haneo, and Hiru.) Three Star Bar in Nishi Ogikubo was actually better than Machida’s other, more recent cishet roles, as Super Rich and Teppachi really fell flat. 

However, I ABSOLUTELY loved his work in 2018′s Life as a Girl, which was prior to Cherry Magic, and I think that show was a nice preemptor to showcasing the chops that he threw down, along with Akaso, in CM. 

So my review of Life as a Girl touched upon how I learned about the show -- through Tumblr, obviously, as a “based on your likes” recommendation post that called Machida’s character in the show a “himbo,” and of course, that’s going to pique my interest. Really quickly, because I’ve already written about this, but Machida’s character in Life as a Girl was as a bumbling classmate to the main character, played by Shison Jun, who is in the process of transitioning to female.

Machida nailed himbo very well. Slightly physical comedy, demonstrating a range of emotions that went into and out of the bumbling, supposedly masculine role that he inhabited. He wove in and out of this structure of being the masculine man next to his classmate that was formerly a man -- he nailed that balance as a means of offering tremendous compassion and companionship to his close friend. I loved it.

So anyway, why am I bringing this all up? It’s because he was GREAT in Ichigeki. 

Ichigeki (one strike/one kill) is a manga about a peasant-turned-samurai in the last year of the Edo period, 1867, who joins a group of villagers assigned to disrupt another group of samurais who are involved in warring factions with the Shogunate. NHK dramatized this manga earlier this month as an hour-and-a-half Japanese New Year’s special.

I usually just don’t do period dramas -- in part because I feel really guilty that I’m not deeply familiar with Japan or Korea’s history (although my VERY, VERY FIRST K-drama EVER was Dae Jo-young, which an ex-boyfriend got me into, l.o.l.). And as well, the previews for this New Year’s special didn’t quite give an indication into how the material would be treated -- was it going to be heavy-handed serious, an ode to past history with a sad ending, kind of dull and boring and condescendingly educational?

No -- it was SO GOOD! I’m not sure if the manga was written this way, but this special had a LOT of comedy in it. I truly did not know what to expect -- the show is led by an EXCELLENT Sometani Shota as a stout villager, dealing with his moral and ethical inhibitions regarding fighting for wealthy lords who don’t give a shit about his life or of those of his team. And Machida plays a character named Ichi (not related to the title of the show), an overconfident villager who finally finds a path out of his impoverished life by way of hopefully becoming a samurai -- all at a time where the samurai are literally about to become extinct.

The show is structured as being told by a Japanese storyteller, and again, I really don’t know that much about the tradition behind this kind of storytelling, and I wish I did -- but if there are poop jokes, badass women fighters, lots of sake, and many shirtless dudes, well, then, I’m all in, fam. It was a VERY digestible and fun watch, and I highly recommend finding and watching it. Machida was in classic himbo mode, lots of comedy and brashness, and he nailed his role hilariously. The entire cast was great. (Including this guy, Kudo Asuka, who was also in Teppachi with Machida -- and he’s a motherfucking FARMER! A farmer-actor! We need more farmer-actors.)

If you’re still in a holiday mood, go watch Ichigeki, it was really good and a nice interruption to the usual-usual. I hope Machida’s next dorama, which will be Fixer on WOWOW in the spring, allows him to expand out of himbo and give him the kind of dramatic step that Akaso has now had in a few shows himself. We shall see -- fingers crossed. Love the Cherry Magic dudes so much.

#ichigeki #machida keita #shota sometani #sometani shota #akaso eiji #cherry magic

[localcanadiancryptid22]

hello i hope your day is swell this time around too. I have no clue where you may have gotten even the slightest idea that i have any connection whatsoever to the individual tagged in your response, but total loss of my dignity aside, yes, we're mentally ill. If you write "william afton x reader" into the sites search bar and you can freely observe all those who dare admit their love for the ourple dude in their natural habitat. its a little crazy out there. don't ask how i know this. For slenderman i actually have a weird(?) theory. i think for many it helps that he doesn't have a face. many neurodivergent individuals struggle with looking at faces for one reason or another. i think tall tentacle suit-and-tie guy might just have an advantage in that regard. also he has a suit. and tentacles. no comment. (+ lets not forget creepypasta culture(?) in general iykwhatimean)

i send my regards to you for having to see NSFW to conduct your study. i think it comes with being involved in this field or reasearch. i am also sad(?) to announce that i highly doupt any of us like these evil dudes without any sexual attraction being involved, tho this is just a theory (not to exclude aces tho, im sure there are some fucked up fellas in there too, that attraction might me more complicated or fanon-based maybe?). Belos (and maybe Bill?) excluded cuz he luckily got relatively lots of screentime and backstory, he is like a legit person, not just a cardboard cutout that does evil things/fanon ver.

Well anyway thank you for sacrificing your free time and sanity for lil ol' me. greatly appreciate it. its nice to talk about weird stuff like this without feeling like a demonspawn lol. In case you find anything new/intresting or have anything to comment about my observations, i'd love to know. Sorry if i said anything weird/offensive

Love, -🌿

Yes it is actually thank you. Hmmm of course you're not @annathesimp,obviously /joking. Thanks for the advice,i'll take a look at that tag some time. Huh yeah i guess it is related to that and yes i know what you mean (i have seen some things scrolling through the slenderman tag. also i've participated in jeff x slenderman stuff before so that explains how i know). Thank you,it's appreciated. Yeah it's indeed truly sad,there's not that many platonic simps in the william afton/slenderman fandom which forces me to look at nsfw of them whenever i look them up on here. I agree. You're welcome :] and yeah it is,i enjoyed my time researching stuff for you (i like belos and bill in a platonic way so it was quite fun for me). Nah you didn't,you're good man :].

#lmao #fave #asks #anon asks #🌿 anon #annathesimp

[eruverse]

A bit of headcanon of Mongolia and Kazakhstan’s relationship dynamic:

(Maybe a bit incorrect with some details here, as I’m going to touch upon foreign policy directions and visions and while I’m trying my best it’s not my area of expertise. As it stands, this is still Hetalia headcanon most of all so pls take some details here with a grain of salt).

Basically, they are casual friends. More on the affectionate side considering their proximity to each other and their shared history/culture, but there’s a healthy distance between them. They’re very chill about this tho, they don’t exactly wish to be a lot closer because they know they can’t really help each other? Or their potential to do so isn’t explored yet?

Mongolia has a tendency to look Eastward in regards to his country’s development which is evident from the countries he’s closest to or aiming to closely befriend: China, South Korea, Japan, also US (across the Pacific). I think this is why he’s grouped under East Asian regional sphere and I bet this is quite a deliberate move from him, also affirmed by an article I once read which threaded upon Mongolian foreign policy; basically this Eastward direction is more beneficial for him economically and politically. Not just that tho; he does try to reach more countries who can help him wherever they are, but this is why he doesn’t really look toward Central Asia because the area is as much a fuckup as he is lol (and highly unstable).

Meanwhile Kazakhstan tends to look Northward and Westward/Southwestward first because this is what’s most beneficial and makes sense for him. North is Russia — like he doesn’t look toward Russia because he’s a spineless guy, he’s a pragmatic dude most of all and Russia is still stronger than him so he’s able to cooperate with him and help him with much; and especially true after he got independent is him applying Eurasian foreign policy which placed himself as a bridge between Europe and Asia. This include cooperations with Russia, former Soviet republics, and the West at large. On the Asia side he looks toward other Turkic states including his own siblings, the Middle East, and aside from that he also looks toward the East like with China, South Korea — Kazakhstan is a deeply ambitious guy and he tries to reach basically everywhere lol but as Mongolia can’t help him with much yet, he doesn’t currently have lots cooperation with Mongolia.

So Mongolia and Kazakhstan don’t have lots business with each other. Interestingly, this is what makes them highly relaxed and chill with each other tho; there’s a massive lack of tension and baggage between them. Theirs is a casual friendship forged upon a healthy distance with each other; much like how you can often end up spilling all your deepest secrets to a stranger compared to your own closest ones. Meeting each other is also in many ways like old childhood friends reuniting; as adults people have each their own business and worries with life, but when they get together they fall back on a time when things are much simpler.

Due to their high affinity in regards to culture and history, Mongolia and Kazakhstan have similar tastes about a lot of things which means they share lots similar hobbies. They’re such (mostly) different people personality wise, but when they meet together they can go on animated tangents about current developments of said hobbies. Motorcycles, cars, music (they listen to lots metal and punk/rock), outdoor activities, stargazing, wrestling (ofc), and other sports.

Overall, they have quite a lot of interest in each other but they also prefer to just observe and admire from afar. Mongolia would routinely look up news about what’s happening in Kazakhstan and Central Asia at large, and Kazakhstan too knows about current ongoings in Mongolia. This is partly technical reasons tho, because it’s best if you’re aware of your neighbors’ most current developments, but they mainly do it because they’re interested in each other.

Anyway, Mongolia is technically Kazakhstan’s grandfather but they behave as friends of equal standings. Kazakhstan respects Mongolia also because he’s technically an elder, but in a hypothetical situation where Mongolia lords over him which befits someone of a higher authority in a family setting, he will certainly not hesitate to put Mongolia in his place. How would he not, when he’s a deeply proud person as he is and he’s much stronger than Mongolia both politically and economically? But this is a hypothetical situation for a reason; it would never happen because they’re highly respectful of each other and mindful of their healthy distance.

A bit of wfsn detail: Mongolia is a chill dom with lots mentoring and guiding tendencies and Kazakhstan is a gentle top (overall) with no dom nor sub tendencies. When they get on they’re very chill and friendly, with Mongolia not much unleashing his dom side because Kazakhstan isn’t much into that; but Kazakhstan is quite a prude so there’s often some guiding from Mongolia going on, being the one more experienced.

#hetalia #aph mongolia #hws mongolia #oc kazakhstan #hws kazakhstan #my headcanon #damn this turned out long

[starswallowingsea]

It's book review time! This time for a book I actually finished like a month ago and completely forgot to do my review until now!

So I read the Lost Apothecary by Sarah Penner back in August. I got it through Book of the Month because nothing in July (when I signed up) particularly called out to me and this book has been on my TBR for a while so I took a chance on it.

Overall it was... kinda meh. It reads easy enough and I finished it in a week but I wish there had just been more to it.

My overall rating was 3.5/5 stars and I'll get into the details under the cut.

So this book is one of those split historical/modern perspectives books, similar to the Paris Orphan but not done quite as well in my opinion (and a lot of other people's opinions too). The concept is there, an apothecary that helped women kill their abusive spouses or men in their lives, which certainly existed (side note: if that is what interested you about this novel, I would highly recommend the first season of the podcast Criminalia, which was all about lady poisoners and each episode includes a cocktail recipe to go with the story. Anyway,) and are important to study, but the modern perspective was lacking.

I'm in the minority that didn't really mind Caroline, but I kind of interpreted her as being raised in like an Evangelical household where the decisions she says she made with regards to her husband (such as not going to grad school, taking a job she didn't want just for the stability, etc) made more sense? But then towards the end her husband shows up and it just makes everything very, very weird. He admits to drinking some of her essential oils on purpose to get her attention because he thought she was going to leave him for cheating on her (no fucking shit dude). If she wasn't already preparing the divorce papers when you cheated on her with one of your office workers, then she definitely would after you intentionally poisoned yourself and almost died.

The past segment of the book also felt somewhat weak. I understand that it had to take place before the invention of poison detection in forensic analysis during autopsies started getting better and more accurate, but other than that it didn't feel like Penner utilized the setting to its fullest extent. Also the twelve year old character thought her vagina was haunted by the ghost of her old master and nobody explained the concept of periods to her? Why. They kinda just brushed it off as "all girls and women bleed once every lunar cycle" but never explained that it was natural to her.

Finally, my biggest gripe with the book was the absolutely insane focus on pregnancy. It feels like all the characters except the child are obsessed with having children. The old lady who runs the apothecary laments how her lover had forced her to have a miscarriage (which at first I didn't mind as a motivation for her, but then), one of her customers comes in and wants to kill her husband's lover so he'll sleep with her and get her pregnant and she can have children, and the most egregious example of all, the modern character, as her husband was being taken to the hospital, thinks that one of the emergency responder's making a remark about keeping essential oils out of reach of children is an attack on her for not having children. Girly, it's just a statement of fact. You shouldn't keep essential oils within reach of children or they will eat it and die.

I think towards the end Penner was trying to go for some sort of magical realism or just in general actual magic in the setting but it was not very well executed. The only real sign of it was the 12yo girl character believed that magic could save the little hole in the wall apothecary and brewed some "potions" to keep them alive in dire situations and she chugged it before jumping from a bridge into the Thames, which certainly the impact into the cold water should have killed her almost instantly and we have not been led to believe she knows how to swim either. At the end we see that she survived and hinted in the one piece of writing about her that survived to the 21st century that she believed the potion protected her on that day. Yeah. If she wanted to add that little hint of magic, I wish it had more of an influence on the plot and more of a presence in the book or was just left out entirely.

Anyway, it's an easy read. If you need something quick to read and get out of a slump, it'll do that. It's not awful but it's certainly odd and could have done more with the connections between modern and historical instead of just some random tourist coming across one of the old bottles in the river on a vacation away from her cheating husband. It's not the worst book I've ever read but it's also not worth writing home about because it was so good. It's average. It's so unfortunate that it has such a beautiful cover and such a mid-tier story.

#shay speaks #book reviews #bookblr #the lost apothecary #i had most of these thoughts written down in the bad books book club discord from when i was still reading it #link is in my carrd if you'd like to come join us!

[lucysweatslove]

Another brief life update!

I decided that I was tired of sitting on my hands in a sea of self doubt regarding med school. I have strong convictions about who I am and why I love medicine, and there’s no reason for me to twiddle my thumbs waiting for some external power to tell me I’m good enough numbers wise to apply when I know I would an amazing physician and any community would benefit from my care. Not to sound too full of myself. I just know that when I look at all the providers I’ve worked with or for, the most effective ones are not the most brilliant, nor the hardest working ones, but the kindest ones with a genuine curiosity both for objective knowledge and for their patient’s experience. Yes, they are all smart and hardworking too, but at a point, there is such little return on those gains, and being a good human matters much more than ability to regurgitate the name of an old crusty white dude. I don’t need to be top 90th, even top 80th, hell even top 60th honestly, because the pool that’s taken from is already full of people who are intelligent enough to be physicians. I’ve always been so worried that I don’t look good enough on paper because I’m not as numerically exceptional as I used to be. I think people won’t see me if my numbers are ideal enough (Can we recognize the ridiculous parallel of this obsession with numbers with the numbers from my ED?) . The reality tho is that every single person who knows me and knows my passion for medicine and serving my community says the exact same thing: I want you to be MY doctor. I need to start accepting that people who matter can recognize my strengths and my value. If a school doesn’t care enough about my passion and commitment to loving and serving my community because I didn’t get a super high MCAT score or had only a 3.7 in undergrad, frankly their values do not align with mine and I don’t want to go there anyway.

So anyway, I said fuck it, realized that my old MCAT is three years old (too old for many schools), and signed up to retake them with a test date of 6/18. I got three weeks off work to study.

My last day of work, Husband tested positive for COVID. He isolated from me, but three days later I started feeling a bit scratchy, and the next day I woke up nauseous, highly febrile, and when I slowly tried to get to the bathroom, not only did I nearly faint and fell to the floor because my BP was super low, but all my muscles contracted and I physically could not move. Imagine a charley horse but it’s every voluntary muscle in your body. Husband had to call an ambulance since I was in so much pain and couldn’t move. I had basically no respiratory problems, but it took me a week to recover and an extra few days for the brain fog to lift enough that I could focus again.

After had about a week and a half to study for the MCATs again since a lot of my old knowledge was lost to learning extinction, but I did my best. I focused on typically high-yield things and parts of my hardest subjects I struggle with the most- like lenses and optics since I don’t think I ever went through that in my physics courses, or organic chemistry reactions because it’s been like 10 years and why would I remember any of that?

I took the damn test. And it was so awful. The “high yield” material I focused on? Maybe 5 questions TOTAL. Out of 177 (there is 230 total, but 53 are critical analysis skills which don’t really count in this context). There were the most random ass questions that I’d need to pull somehow from my ass- things that NEVER showed up on the over 2300 practice questions I did in the week and a half. Things that NEVER came up in my undergrad OR in my grad school program. Things that have never come up even in reading research articles about relevant medical topics across several specialties. I could’ve voided I guess, so no school would ever see my score, but I didn’t know if that also took my scores out of the sample pool for future “equating” and “scaling” (they are adamant they don’t curve the test… but everything they describe is basically a curve). I thought hey, if this score sucks, maybe it will make the test a little less difficult for future students. That felt like a worthy sacrifice.

I wish I could sit here and write that despite feeling awful I somehow did okay, but I won’t know for another 4 weeks. I am a little anxious about how I did. I have opted to think of the lowest score I think I could’ve gotten, and assume that is my score, so I can make plans for my next steps. These steps might be quitting my job so I can focus heavily on volunteering. Because no matter what, I want to serve my community through medicine. And I will. Hard stop.

#personal #lucy rambles #Lucy talks about medicine

[ncteez]

so i just dropped my review on illicit

but also, (don’t ask me how it happened cause truth be told idk) ended up binging hate to say i told you so in one sitting and holy fuck.

regardless of the fact that i need at least two business days to process that mammoth of a work of art, a little thought smacked me in the head after finishing it 👀

illicit!jaehyun is giving VERY much htsitys!jaehyun vibes. like, the traits and character flaws are nearly identical with the fuckboy persona and the massive fear of commitment??? and in htsitys jaehyun and the others reiterate multiple times how the dude has a list of booty calls and cannot fathom settling down, which are like highly reoccurring themes in illicit when jae cannot for the life of him figure out what hes feeling for mc (spoiler alert: i think i might be the desire to ~commit~) additionally, there’s this line in chpt 4, “Oh yeah, Jaehyun exists. You’d nearly forgot. Then again he’s rarely home.” and my brain was like omgg nooo jae bb are u fucking illicit!mc rn 🫤

but anywho that just became a little thought that popped into my head after reading the two back to back LOL and some finals season brain rot <3

hope u had a splendid day queen 😌

y…you read hate to say in one sitting? 💀 ARE YOU OKAY? BC THATS A LOT LMAOOOO no but rly omg??

HTS jaehyun was the first time i ever actually wrote him in a fic and i just kinda gave him the frat boy fuck boy persona so it wasn’t entirely intentional to make them super similar. Sometimes i get on a trope kick and do things like that tbh!! Illicit came after HTS i’m pretty sure or at least when i was already nearly done writing it and i have a ton of little one sentence au prompts in my notes— the one that said [insert member here] is ur cousins new boyfriend on a vacation trip, and it caught my interest the most that day and i was like, WELL, i haven’t written anything for jaehyun so!! that’s kinda how illicit was birthed 😬

i don’t actually regard jaehyun as someone who would cheat or be a fuck boy but i can admit that i enjoy writing him that way, because illicit turned into the idea that i wanted to write ANOTHER jaehyun fuck boy fic except this time he actually falls in love, which is why “tower to the heart” is a wip now 🤡

ANYWAY, i rly hope u liked hts!! i’m about to head over to ao3 to respond to your feedback but i do wanna make a note here and let you know that i also do NOT condone cheating but for some reason, even tho i experienced the pain of it myself, i really like writing cheating fics and the emotions that come along with the act? like i don’t really write them in a way that is agreeable, and try to make it realistic and painful regardless?? I also am a fan of writing angst and dramatic scenarios and that’s one of the most dramatic things i’ve ever felt myself in a relationship aside from love so i guess i kinda stick to what i know so my fics at least seem realistic and the emotion is there ??

SORRY FOR RAMBLING THIS WAS LONG

#[mail] #glitchyuck #[feedback] #ALSO NOTE;; #WHEN I WROTE ILLICIT I WAS LIKE lmaooo is this hts jaehyun?

[comradekatara]

A little rant , but I hate how the majority of the fandom treats Katara especially in regards to her mothers death/trauma. How the most viral memes/skits about Katara are her hysterically yelling at the other characters about how they would never understand her pain and then have the rest of the gaang "shut her up" by saying how worse their traumas are . And then people in the comments get mad at Katara as if she actually did that in the show and that it isn't some overused, poorly written, ooc joke. I know it sounds really specific but I mean memes like these:

(Those are like the least bad examples i could find ) Its like people purposefully misinterpret her actions and words just to slander her character. It is also thinly veiled colourism, racism and misogyny because the hate would be nearly non-existent if she was a light skinned dude.

Sorry for the very long ask.

i've honestly..... never seen memes/"jokes" like this before, but i've seen enough people complaining about them that i'm sure that they do exist. and i've seen enough other gross racist/misogynistic mischaracterizations of katara's character that i'm just as weary and disheartened as you are, even if it's over slightly different subject matter. but it's all fucking horrible, honestly. i hate it here!!!!! anyway let's unpack this:

the one time in the show that katara remotely acts as if losing her mother is worse than the genocide of aang's people is during "the southern raiders," when she lashes out at both aang and sokka, and she does say some pretty horrible things to them. i'm not gonna deny that her comments to the both of them weren't cruel, but if the audience cannot bring themselves to empathize with this deeply traumatized fourteen year old girl lashing out from a place of deep seated grief and rage over the highly personal murder of her mother that she witnessed as a child, then i really don't know what to say. yeah, she does owe both of them an apology, and yes, she does have a tendency to view the world through a highly personal lens and make things about herself, but she's a teenage girl who grew up in a devastating war, being told she was the chosen one, who had to carry her tribe's entire culture and the legacy of her mother especially, who sacrificed her life for katara, the last waterbender in the southern water tribe. reducing katara's trauma to "dead mother" as if the context surrounding her death isn't crucial to understanding katara's trauma is, frankly, idiotic.

not to mention that katara is also a victim of genocide! yes, aang lost his entire people, and his spatiotemporal displacement is unimaginably devastating, but katara understands what it is like to have to bear the weight of one's entire culture alone, and she and aang empathize with each other over this burden. i think that people who act as if katara (and sokka) are not also genocide victims simply do not understand what genocide is. most genocides do not "extinct an entire race" (to quote that tweet), but rather ""only"" kill off most of the population, and destroy the culture of its people, erasing a legacy, history, and possible future. the fact that the fire nation went after waterbenders specifically is no accident, because their bending is integral not only in their fighting and healing capabilities, but also as an artform endemic to their culture. yes, katara still has family members and a (small) community, however devastated by the fire nation, whereas aang has no one left (well, he has appa, momo, and arguably bumi, even though he's not an air nomad, but yeah...), but acting as if she is some otherwise privileged girl who just happened to lose her mother ignores her entire circumstance and the entire foundation of her character.

and finally, you're absolutely right that "the hate would be nonexistent if she were a light-skinned dude" because we can see this clearly in zuko, who is blatantly constructed as her foil. katara can be self-absored, petty, melodramatic, headstrong, impulsive, rash, myopic, naive, vengeful, and cruel, but a) so is zuko and b) he does far worse things throughout the show, and yet is criticized for his egregious flaws far less. they are deliberate parallels, one personality placed in two extremely different circumstances. they are mirrors who can bring out the worst in each other ("the southern raiders") or the best in each other ("sozin's comet") and understanding this aspect of their dynamic is crucial to understanding both their characters respectively. not only that, but they are treated with the exact same weight by the narrative, as deuteragonists to aang's protagonist, who are both absolutely crucial to the story. but fans seem to care far more about zuko (or if they do care about katara, it's in terms of her relationship to either him or aang) than they do katara. even though they are the same person.... except katara happens to be a brown teenage girl. whoops !

#lavender-rosa #asks #katara #analysis #hot takes #aang&katara #katara&zuko #like. she lost her mom BECAUSE of genocide wtf is wrong w people. like. in the head #every day i see an atla take that makes me want to go on a murder spree #and 99% of the time it is due to a mischaracterization of katara #either by acting as if she is flawless and beyond reproach #or acting as if she is some irredeemable monster #actually she is just a very normal teenage girl . you fucking weirdos

[serenedash]

would you be willing to share your thoughts on ira?

thank you for asking anon, I did just write a whole ass essay to a friend about him so I’m just gonna kinda cut and paste some stuff and add onto it. I love this man so much. Anyway it’s Long lmao

so I just think ira is such an interesting character. like the way he's clearly very strong both physically and as a leader and how he's definitely smart and well respected by the other foretellers and I think there's this amazing contrast between that and how he's actually a pretty quiet guy and prefers to talk things out rather than fighting

like I think about how in the khx novel, when the player fights him in the war Ira actually doesn't summon his keyblade at all he just dodges until he decides to actually attack the player and he hits player once and I fully believe he could've and would've killed player on his second hit if aced hadn't cut in and I just. holy shit this man is STRONG and yet he doesn't usually fight like in back cover he's the only one we don't see using a keyblade (other than that intro shot with them posing)

and like. the way his name means wrath and I think a lot about how ava describes how angry and scary he looked irt gula and at first I didn't really get it but the scene comes across much better in the novel like oh this man is ANGRY and yet at the end of the day?? he still regards the others as his friends and comrades and respects them all as much as they respect him

so like. okay that's my canon ira rant but like the way I write him I just really like to play into how quiet he seems especially with how mom mentions all he does is think and never commits to actually doing anything (I fully believe ira and aced would've been amazing co-leaders and their dynamics are amazing compliments to each other as aced is more prone to acting without fully thinking things thru while ira thinks it thru but just. doesn't seem to act on his thoughts). and like. augh man I think ira should've handled the aced stuff instead of invi but ofc that was a part of mom's plan no doubt he knew that ira would actually fix problems instead of invi who jumped to conclusions and went straight for the throat yknow

I like to think ira is just naturally a good leader and people look to him and its just like, effortless to him, but he also doesn't understand it? like personally I think its funny how hard aced tries to be like The Leader but no one respects him that much and yet ira is just Standing There and everyone is like "yeah him" and ira looks at aced like "im so sorry I didn't ask for this" ira just has the Vibes

I know people love to say luxu and or ava are mom's favorites and like. honestly true. but from the foretellers POV I think it looks like ira is the favorite. like the luxu and ava favoritism happen in private and more so when they're already masters and like, gestures at the main plot happenings, yeah, anyway. mom obviously had this all planned out for a long while and I think mom was extra hard on ira because he was going to grow up to be the leader and that's why ira is just like so overly serious as an adult like idk I feel like mom just would be harder on him since he's clearly just generally very smart and extremely strong (I also just like to headcanon ira as having balanced magic and strength I just like to think he can do both in a fight lol)

and I think Ira thinks so highly of the others too which kills me so much bc like. dude you should've been doing shit yourself I'm so sorry why did you let invi go "I'll go talk to aced :)" only to hard cut to her beating the shit out of him. and only after that goes wrong and gula starts fucking shit up does ira go "oh I have to do this Myself huh" like its almost heartbreaking how he held the others in such good faith and I mean honestly why would've he yknow ofc he would expect he fellow masters and friends to be rational and not try to kill each other like who wouldn't,

I think things could’ve worked if they all sat in the same room together more and talked but like. getting them all back in the same room after the traitor shit would be like stapling water to a tree ya feel, because Ira very clearly has a specific role in the groups dynamic. He’s calm and rational, which can NOT be said for the majority of the other characters. The other foretellers, while all smart and strong as well, all tend to jump to conclusions. Invi jumps to accusing Aced of being a traitor, she accuses Ava of “stealing” wielders. Aced decides to act on his own without hearing ideas or thoughts from anyone else. Gula and Ava jump to accusing others of being traitors and end up fighting against those people (Aced and Luxu respectfully. I’m looking away from finale “luxu the traitor” bullshit from mom). Ira clearly is the rock, the steady hand in the group and yknow, gestures back to how Ira and Aced’s personalities compliment each other. It could’ve worked. It could have I think.

I also just think it’s a little funny and strange how KH fans seem to ignore Ira the most?? The character that’s the leader with an extremely interesting design is the one people dunk on a lot. And I guess I can understand that given how he’s in the background for most of khux, I mean hell he barely seems to leave the clock tower at all. On the surface he probably does seem very boring, just this soft spoken guy that doesn’t seem to do much while the others are fighting but also??? Ira probably had NO IDEA any of that fighting was happening until after the fact and Invi came back like. “Uh so. about the Aced issue.”

like idk man!!! I really love Ira!!! and I like him!!! and I think back cover was amazing at showing off the foretellers and giving us all these glimpses into who they were, are and who they became by the time the keyblade war happened. It’s all very very good.

#this is long but what else is new #majority of this was taken from a DM with a friend #bc I literally JUST wrote this for them #kh #khux #kingdom hearts #ira #foretellers #character analysis #kh back cover #im rambling #ask #anon #headcanons #khux essay

[guzhuangheaven]

Hello! I've seen many posts here on traditional clothing, but also on other topics, so I hope this is an appropriate question to ask. Could you please explain about different diminutives and terms of endearment in Chinese, like Xiao- (小), A-/Ah- (阿), -Er (兒), Lao (老), Lang (郎), and -Ge/-Jie/-Di/-Mei (哥/姐/弟/妹) (between non-biological relatives)? When would you use these, what is the difference between them and why would you use one over another, and how do you know which part of the name to pair?

The easy bit to tackle is the ge/jie/di/mei which when used socially are just an indicator of your relative age to the person you are addressing. So you would call a social acquaintance/friend who is slightly older than you ge/xiong or jie, and someone slightly younger than you di or mei. Ge/xiong and jie can also be used for someone around the same age as you as a sign of respect. I would say these honorifics imply a more informal relationship, but it is not such a close relationship that allows a more intimate diminutive or nickname like Lao X. If on an English-speaking scale of formality between calling someone Mr/Miss X, their name, or calling them dude or bro or some other affectionate insulting nickname, you’re somewhere in the middle. It’s basically the equivalent to being on a first name basis with someone, it’s just that the cultural values requires an honorific like ge/jie/di/mei to clarify the social relationship.

Regarding other terms like xiao/ah/er/lao/lang, it’s important to be aware that there are no hard set rules about how to use any of them. Most of the time diminutives of names evolve organically through social interactions. There isn’t any rule that X name has to be paired with xiao or er, any more than there are rules that a person named Robert can only be nicknamed Rob instead of Bob or whatever. Whether you’re called Rob or Bob or Bobby, or whether only your mum calls you Bobby and everyone else calls you Rob, entirely depends on whatever arbitrary reason you chose that name as your preferred name or what those around you decided to call you.

That said, of course there are certain connotations to be read when certain diminutives are used in certain contexts.

Diminutives like xiao and er are often given to children by older generations of their family, and can stick around until adulthood. If you’re a man, and unless your name is actually Xiao X, if you are still called xiao and er into adulthood, this is likely because these diminutives were childhood nicknames that stuck around, and would only be used by those very close to you anyway. An example of this is in Nirvana in Fire, where you have people from Lin Shu’s childhood calling him Xiao Shu because that was his family nickname when he was young. It’s probably also meant to emphasise that Lin Shu as an identity is perpetually stuck at age 19. In any case, cute diminutives like xiao and er may be used for a grown man by members from older generations of his family such as parents or grandparents, but would unlikely be used between peers or those from the same generation. Between peers, grown men would be more likely to use each other’s courtesy names rather than diminutives.

Xiao and er can be more often used between those of the same generation/peers as diminutives for women but even then, it often also implies a close relationship. Of course, I would say the spectrum of formality for addressing women is a lot narrower than men, as historically women would have more limited avenues of social interaction. You’re probably working with two extremes of “very formal title” and “intimate nickname/diminutive” with very little in between. Between two women, it’s probably easier to move into using the intimate nickname. But for a man to address a woman he is unrelated to with a diminutive such as xiao and er would probably imply they have either known each other all their lives or otherwise have a very intimate relationship. The exception would only be if everyone called her by those diminutives and there’s no other more formal option.

Ah is usually used to tack on to the given name of people who have a one-character given name, and you don’t want to call them by their full surname + given name, because that would be too formal. It can be used as a diminutive for people who have two-character given names as well, but I think that’s less usual.

I would equate lao to something like the modern English dude or bro, in that it has that back-slapping male vibe to it. As a nickname, it certainly is more often used between men and paired with the surname or the numbering position you hold within your family.

(Not to be confused with lao when used as a term of respect for older people, which is another story.)

Lang is an interesting one, because it can be very social or very intimate depending on the context. I personally tend to associate lang with a certain period around the Tang and Song dynasties, though I’m sure it was used in other times as well. Lang can be paired with your surname and/or your numbering within the family and used by people when talking about you or to you, simply to denote that you are a male member of that family. So for example, in The Story of Ming Lan, Gu Ting Ye is often referred to socially as Gu Er Lang, which basically is just a way to indicate that the person is referring to the second son of the Gu family without saying his full name (which is rude) or calling him by some more formal title (which might sound stuffy in a close social context and/or not quite appropriate if the person talking is a social/generational superior). So there’s nothing special about someone like the emperor or Gu Ting Ye’s stepmother calling him Er Lang, because it’s just a mode of address.  But at the same time, there’s a whole plot point of Gu Ting Ye trying to get Ming Lan to call him Er Lang after they are married, because between a couple, lang is a much more intimate term of endearment.  

In terms which part of the name you would pair with any/all of these pre/suffixes, that also highly depends on your name. If you share a generational name with your brothers/sisters/cousins, usually your diminutive would most likely be paired with the other name that is unique to you. Alternatively, some people’s diminutive name might derive from the first character of their given name, others might be from the second character, simply because whichever character it is flows better with the diminutive term, or because it’s just randomly chosen. Since if you have a two-character name, both are your names it doesn’t really matter which you turn into a diminutive.

These are just some points that come to mind, but again, these terms can be extremely fluid, so there are no rules about how they must be used, which also means that their usage is often open to interpretation. A term of endearment might also become special because only X person uses it, not because the name per se is special. If everyone calls you Tonks and there’s that one person who’s allowed to call you Dora then obviously you have a different relationship with that person.  -H

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