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ivegennedmylastloss · 3 months

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hidey hodey neighborinoes i know i may or may not have disappeared for like half a fucking year but brain does what brain do. since i am now willing to admit that i likely will not find the motivation to write a full length fic like i would want, i wanted to post the “outline” (re: complete gibberish only past me could understand). at some point i’ll try to compile all the tidbits i had sprinkled across drafts and docs and try to clean it up a little but, well, im not even sure what i meant in some spots. hopefully ill pull the writers block out of my ass one day but until then, take this word vomit:

(for clarifications sake, r= red/ranboo, g= green/charlie, b= blue/sneeg, h= hetch, sfm= showfall media)

retelling of ep three from hetch’s pov. mask broke sfm doesn’t know. reset after stab still aware of what he’s doing but can’t control himself. hopeful ending with planning to save the trio and get them out?

the closet sfm is onto hetch so he has to do damage control ran receiving no instructions. things settle scenes been dragging he panics and basically controls r to kill ethan

maybe broadcasted to a different universe. problem w family and friends recognize

maybe broadcasted to rich assholes like in the purge/gladiator type deal?

the face of the hacker wasn’t actually supposed to do things but did anyways

follow up w/ rgb saving him g and b reluctant. r insist they won’t let anyone else die because of them. idk burn the mall maybe torch it like a fuckin wasp nest

employees stop at the door mannequins little nightmares two.

all four struggling down the road maybe r passing out carried by g or b

hot wire a car

traumatize gas station clerk

fire department from fire alarm

hetch flag down car 2 options:

car sped off but called police for them

offered ride to hospital

hetch the sidewalk isn’t wide enough fourth wheel type deal mostly unscathed compared to rgb but smol bean has anxiety and left over programming. weak little noodle arms can’t help shit. b sending hella death glares

b wouldn’t want to help hetch

r electrocuted from attempted mask removal

through the power of friendship and laws of physics or electrical plasma whatever it isn’t fatal hoorah

hetch stunned doesn’t help gb fuckin pissed at him

paramedics confused about what happened to these very dedicated cosplayers that are found half dead barely hours after the live finale

r wakes and is terrified thinking they’re at the box and start screaming for gb. hetch freezes g n b have to be held back by police

hospital r coma from noggin surgery (medically induced for healing cause wtf) g and b want to kick hetch’s ass only stop cause of r

prob not ccs maybe r foster kid hinted maybe

b needs to get to punch someone. american healthcare so probably a doctor or a nurse

hetch medically released first<irrelevant travel distance. hetch watching charlie and sneeg have friends and family going in and out but r has no on so hetch goes

others not allowed in camp out in waiting room. ran wakes up and freaks. competent doc allows them in and r calms down. good doc fights for them to be able to stay in the room psych health. special accommodations are made no tv in room gets a double room for more beds/couches <<needs special room post brain surgery op icu maybe nurse/doc maneuverability <<< maybe one allowed in at a time

^the nice doctor thrown in for pity maybe philza if crossover? detective techno? or both detectives that almost beat the shit outta the responding cops for fucking up the most important case they’d ever get

sfm sends an employee pretending to be ranboos mom. the others are scared but also she is acting like a mom that lost her kid so maybe it’s okay??<< others not allowed in the room since family only? nope ran wakes up freaks cause that bitch ain’t momboo (dead question mark? orphan? don’t tell techno)

employee tries to strangle r no loose ends: doc pulls her off; trio breaks in hetch proves himself?; r is a bamf and defends themself (hitting? reverse uno they strangle her? rips out iv and stabs her?< needle to weak would have to be in eye)

r scared to sleep from cabin electrocution and execution hold hand 👉👈?

carousel saved NO FIRE IF CAROUSEL perhaps a group meet for victims ranboo and hetch reluctant to enter cause they think they’re their murderers. eef spots r and runs to hug him others follow positive to r wary to hetch b says hetch is the one responsible for saving all of them bada bing bada boom happy ending

#generation loss #genloss #gen loss #generation loss ranboo #ranboo #yell at me if i need to remove some tags im still a newbie #this draft has been sitting on my conscience like a tungsten cube and i just wanted to get it out #hello person sorting by new scrolling through the tags i hope you have a good day

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groenendaelfic · 1 year

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Regarding the Fate of As Long as We Have Each Other

Dear Anons,

First let me say that I absolutely love your wonderful messages and compliments. They give me life and I treasure them and few things cheer me up more than a nice word or two about my fics and knowing I'm not just typing into the void.

I'll keep trying my best to answer asks if they include questions or bring up interesting points others might be interested in as well (in fact there are quite a few I have been putting off answering because I want to do it properly and that'll probably take an hour or two each, but I haven't forgotten about them!) and you can always message me with other stuff so I don't have to answer publicly (although admittedly it sometimes takes a while for me to reply because irl and anxiety), and I don't want to sound ungrateful, but please,

PLEASE stop sending me melodramatic asks regarding the fate of As Long as We Have Each Other. I get that you are impatient, but they aren't helpful and I got eight of them over the past ten days.

Don't get me wrong, a 'btw I still love that fic, will there be an update anytime soon?' is totally okay and appreciated, those are not the kind of asks I'm talking about.

Now I'm not sure if it's one anon or multiple ones, but my answer hasn't changed so let me copy/paste it from a previous post:

I have decided to finish A Pack of Two first,

Not because I love it more, but because it'll be a MUCH 'shorter' fic than ALaWHEO and I simply cannot keep switching between feral!Wille pov and official boyfriend!Simon pov, especially because both have a very narrow pov and are only aware of like a third of what's going on, and it's driving me bananas.

So yes, As Long as We Have Each Other is going on a short break, but I will definitely get back to it once APoT is done because I'm as enthusiastic about the story as I was on day one, maybe even more so.

ALaWHEO is my favorite fic across all of my fandoms and my baby, but I simply cannot write both it and APoT at the same time. I thought I could or else I wouldn't have started APoT, but I can't and so I had to make a choice.

If it helps, both my notes doc and my outline for ALaWHEO have grown significantly over the past seven weeks and it will definitely end up being over 400k, but only AFTER APoT is done.

Also in all my 23 years of being in fandom (in fact my fandom anniversary will be in 4 days! wtf is time even?) I have only ever given up on posting one fic that made it over 20k and that was because the fandom was an absolutely toxic dumpster fire and not because I lost interest, and even that fic I one day plan to go back to and post in its entirety once the fandom has shrunken considerably and all the 'I might not speak the language or have ever been to the country, but I've read a fan translation with footnotes and a few background posts and so now I totally know the time period and topic you've written your thesis on better than you' people have lost interest. So I promise ALaWHEO will get finished. I'm a completionist. I have all Civ6 steam achievements and believe me that was not fun. The only reason ALaWHEO will not be finished is if I am suddenly for whatever reason unable to write anymore (aka dead or gravely ill).

Anyway. Sorry for the rant. I don't want to call anyone out or seem unappreciative, but my anxiety can only handle so many versions of 'have you completely abandoned ALaWHEO? do you hate it? do you hate me personally for once stating that I didn't like abo fic? I don't know how my poor heart will be able to cope if you give up on ALaWHEO forever and ever but my hope lives on' (no that was not as much of an exaggeration as you might think)

So please stop or I'll disable anon asks, which I'd hate to do because I love hearing everyone's thoughts and comments and also it'd be unfair to everyone else who has been so absolutely lovely, motivating, encouraging and most of all inspiring.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk. (are those still a thing?)

#spoiler: I'll finish it #ask me anything #as long as we have each other

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my-apollo-gies · 3 years

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"it's my fault you're here. i dragged you into this mess. i- i-" nico stopped and stared. no tears, nothing. his legs had stopped rocking back and forth, chipping at the side of the rock, and the sudden silence feel upon them like a thud. there was no wind. there was no singing breeze to calm them both, only a suffocating emptiness, matching the dim red ambience around them. will exhaled.

"look- i don't care if those voices turned out not to be true, or if we're stuck here, or, well, anything, really. as lame as it sounds, i'm here with you, neeks." there was an awkward pause. "the fact that you believed that there was a voice shows that there's still some hope inside of you."

will supposed it was to make up for nico's blank slate of an expression, but, in that moment, he broke down. he shouldn't have. it was nico's moment, yet, here he was, stealing it, just because of that trained expression that showed nothing, that will knew so well, yet didn't at all. he'd worn a similiar mask in the past: one of laughter and smiles, one that seemed to always be there. he'd seen his fair share of war. they both had. that moment was the moment he let it all out, and collapsed against nico's shoulder.

the other boy jolted in surprise, but quickly realised, and, a bit unsure, put their arm around will. they sat there for a while longer than they had already. it could have been minutes or hours, but without sunlight, they would never know. at some point, nico had begun singing- just quietly- under their breath. it was in italian, quite old, will thought, maybe even from nico's childhood, and it didn't matter that will didn't understand it. he listened anyway. his legs had started swinging again, at some point, too, in time with the music. that wasn't to say the song was happy- far from it, in fact, but it was definitely better than silence. and it was nico's voice.

at that moment, will came to the conclusion that they were never going to leave. this was it. this was the end of the line for them. the singing faded, and nico nodded off, leaving will to ponder on that fact. he reached up and tangled his fingers in nico's hair, tears still streaming down his cheeks.

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rexismycopilot · 2 years

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hiiiiii!! for the ask game: 5, 14, 16, 29 🤍

(imma answer yours in a sec hehe)

AH FRIEND! Okay, can I just say how excited I am for yours?? Especially the scrubs one. Tear my heart out.

For the WIP Ask Game

5. Anakin doesn't use his safeword

Prompt: [Would you ever consider writing a fic where Anakin needs to use his safe word and doesn’t? Not like on purpose but maybe he drops a little too hard too fast and gets lost in his head a bit and doesn’t even think to stop it and Obi-Wan is a little too caught up in things until it’s too late leading to angst from them both and eventually sweet fluff?]

I have actually written this concept before, but that also doesn't mean that it just disappears when it happens one time, ya know? I think I want to combine this one with the dom drop one so that we get some mutual snugs and care taking.

14. Anakin has a panic attack in battle

This one is from @nonnie992! - [A better idea, since you work with a force bond between Obi-Wan and Anakin, what about a story from Obi’s pov, where he notices that Anakin has a panic attack but Obi-Wan is not in the position to go and help him. Like Anakin is not alone, Ashoka en Rex are there with him but it is just not the same…..

And Obi-Wan just hates it, like he feels absolutely bad about it.

So, for me it kinda feels like hurt/no comfort at the time, but I 100% believe that you can turn it into a hurt/comfort one.]

You better believe that i have not forgotten about this one. And! You also better believe I'm turning this into hurt/comfort. I don't know if I have it in my soul to make a hurt/no comfort fic for the A/O series?? I can't do it. I'd perish.

16. As Long As I'm With You

I have words written in a document for this one!! It's basically Anakin's POV for Stay Next To Me

The rarest find of all, however, was finding someone not-weird, willing to at least chat a little bit, and who was down for some in-person fun.

That was his favorite kind of person.

The man who just messaged him, however, was not such a person. Anakin rolled his eyes at the name: Dick sucker.

[Dick sucker] show me it

Anakin didn’t even know if he should respond, but decided on being cheeky.

[Ani] Old or new?

[Dick sucker] wtf are u talking about

Anakin smirked as he sent him a picture from the remake of IT and was quickly blocked.

He didn’t really want to engage with someone who didn’t like his sense of humor anyway.

29. Obi gives Anakin alone time (a bath)

This is all I have written in this doc: Ted Lasso episode haha. (I did save the ask too)

Basically, it would be Obi-Wan being a little needy and wanting to be around Anakin all the time, but Anakin just needs a bit of time to himself. Like sometimes you just need a moment to figure things out, right? Just to let go.

And now that I'm typing this out... i feel like this would work really well for 50 shades because Anakin is used to living alone and suddenly if he starts living with Obi, Obi-Wan is just always there. And he can't get away to just be with himself when he used to have a lot of time for that.

Thank you, friend!!

#ask #lowkeyanakin #ask game

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rataltouille · 3 years

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GEOMETRY OF THE HOLY MOON (1 AM): A SHORT STORY

GENRE: surrealism, literary fiction.

POV & TENSE: this little space is not enough for how wild the form is so i talk about this later!!

SETTING: a small desi village, 1924-25.

TONE: dreamy, unsettling, melancholic.

THEMES: faith vs reality, how people perceive others and how they perceive themselves, grief dealt the wrong way.

AESTHETICS: the splash of water on a quiet night, thick clouds obscuring the sky, rippling the moon’s reflection on the water. the intensity of a garden in spring, the emptiness of a dying town, the suffocation from being singled out. hands grazing lightly but never fully held. a lingering sadness behind your laugh. believing in things you shouldn't believe in. putting faith on a starless sky.

STAGE: completed first draft, 4085 words.

LOGLINE: a young boy, surrounded by loss, claims to talk to god. the story follows him and his conversations with this god, all while his village spies on him as he weaves his way around the two most crucial and lonely years of his life.

LITERAL LOGLINE: on today’s news let’s talk about a small backward town that hates sad little boys who worship god, even though the place is lowkey a cult!!

CHARACTERS:

THE SUMMER BOY: he’s around thirteen, and he’s very emotionally attached to his past. he lost his family at a young age to an unstable force, so he spends his time talking to himself. he’s a quiet, demure and sweet person, always willing to help others. he’s outwardly oblivious and sees only the good in people to a point where he doesn't understand when they’re trying to do him wrong. but! considering how the story [like a lot of my others] has themes of perception vs reality, it needs to be said that he isn't all that innocent. he’s rather impulsive and rash, never afraid of hurting himself [and thus accidentally harming others].

A GOD: is he real? do we even know if he’s an actual god? a very elusive figure despite having a lot of screentime. he’s a surprisingly humanised character and arguably the one with the most empathy. he has a soft spot for the boy and the two have a deep bond which is not common for a human and a god to have. you don’t get insight to what the other gods are like, but they’re implied to exist. this story has a very messy and hazy view towards religion and godhood and their nature towards humanity, and this vague figure, a dreamlike character, is proof enough of that.

THE VILLAGE: okay so in general these people suck. the village consists of, well, the village, but they’re very fluid in the way they appear in the story? as in for the most part they appear as a collective, a unit. one character, the summer boy’s “friend”, is somewhat separate considering he’s a pretty important character. it’s very hard describing this unit of a character but essentially they’re the main antagonistic force and they hate the protagonist for seemingly no reason.

WHAT GOES DOWN:

sometime around this time, the boy chances upon meeting his “god”, this being who lives up in the clouds and whom he talks with often, except you don't know if this god is real or not. that’s one of the recurring themes of this story: what’s real and what isn’t. it’s :) a fun time :) for sure :)

essentially Things Happen And It Only Gets Weirder. i cannot even try describing what happens because it’s all very spoilery but let’s just say that this is a very sad story but not even in a “this makes me cry” manner, but rather in a “this is so fucked up wtf why”. the prose of this is very, very hazy and thick, in a manner that’s both smooth and suffocating. there’s also a lot of moon and water imagery which we love. i love the atmosphere + the setting—colonial india— as it’s a subtle but key element to the plot.

FORM:

OKAY YES be prepared for the true colours of how unhinged i am. i apologize for the form brainrot.

POV: so in this story i really said “what if it had all three of the main povs... jk jk... unless 😳😳” and then proceeded to use all three povs. you’re probably wondering, how did i do that? WHY did i do that? and my answer to that is: 🙂

the first-person pov: the summer boy narrates in first person. his pov takes up about 40% of the story, and this is where we unlock family backstory + how he feels about the various forces playing into his life. he’s an extremely unreliable narrator and he knows it; his narration oscillates between very naive and very self-aware, and this effect is pretty disconcerting. the summer boy is kind of a walking contradiction and we love that conflict.

the second-person pov: a god narrates in second person. his pov takes around 20% of the story, and his scenes all involve his conversations with the boy. his pov is extremely detached, and suspends belief because he seems awfully made up. there’s an edge to the prose in his narration, where you know that something's off, but you can’t exactly pinpoint what.

the third-person pov: the villagers narrate, either as a collective, or as an individual figure, in third person. they take up the other 40% of the story, and there are so many different people and differing opinions with this, and every time we read a third person excerpt it’s a different person, and this is mostly used to add onto the different ways in which the boy is perceived. this is also where the structural part of the form gets really wacky.

STRUCTURE: if my story isn't told in vignettes is it my story though /j. gothm is told in vignettes, each one between 50 to 500 words. the first and second person bits are normal-ish vignettes, with straightforward narration. the third person vignettes, on the other hand, are super assorted. we have a lot of epistolaric sections— there’s a letter, a folk song [which was found around the summer boy], and most of the conversation is told as just plain dialogue without tags. there’s also a phone call transcript, and finally some normal chunks of prose. what am i doing wtf.

also to add onto this the story is told non-linearly. 😀 the only thing that keeps me from going insane is the fact that there are chronological tags before most vignettes [also the manner in which they're tagged differs from pov to pov. for example a few of the third person conversations are marked just as “sunday” or “thursday”, while the summer boy’s narration is marked with the full date and year]

in all this clownery i completely forgot to mention what the tense was [the way everything else was so complicated that i forgot tense was a thing lmao] and good news!! it’s the only sane thing about this story!! it’s told fully in present tense. thank everything.

AN EXCERPT:

okay i’m once again not sharing much because this will be submitted to litmags 🧞

[The boy is scrawny as always. He carries an air of diswant— even death had rejected him when the plague killed only his grandmother— but walks like he doesn’t notice. He smiles at them, jitters, and wipes his hand across his knees. Blood comes away in thin, translucent lines. He saves it on the kerchief he keeps tucked in his shirt, careful to dirty the cloth even more. The villagers scrunch their noses in disgust; who knew how old and rotten the kerchief was, or how long it had carried blood like the unwashed sword of a warrior?]

also by the way this excerpt is in square brackets because it is a third-person interjection in a vignette that is otherwise first-person [at this point...]

SPARE THOUGHTS:

this was inspired by a conversation i had with my grandfather, where he was telling me about how people used to sing songs to the skies, as a way of devotion to a specific god. he used the [loose translation of] the english word “yearning” to refer to the emotion the singers would invoke, and that sparked the concept of a disillusioned young boy who talks to the moon as a way to please the god he’s in love with. it’s a very softly disconcerting story and once again deals with the theme of “perception vs reality” which if you know me and my work, is the theme i’m forever obsessed with.

i really like how this turned out? the atmosphere is exactly how i wanted it to be, and there’s so much i have to add on as i edit and i’m really looking forward to that. this is also the only short story i’ve written where i knew which litmag i’d love for it to be published in? like i never write things with publishing in mind, but for some reason while writing this story it occurred to me that it would be a perfect fit for this specific magazine and i love that. anyway if you’ve made it through the post till here,,,, bless you and your braincells. and that’s all for today!!

#am writing #writeblr #wtwcommunity #atlastracking #ofcolourtracking #crabappletracking #tw death #tw plague #tw blood #the way this post gets increasingly incomprehensible...#love how my blog has just descended into pure chaos post-hiatus #geometry of the holy moon (1 am)#god complex #god complex intro

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dangermousie · 4 years

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So, I restarted The Story of Minglan (hello, timesuck aka my favorite drama of all time) and it’s even better this time around because when I watched it for the first time, I had no idea who any of these people were and there were a ton of them so I was floundering for the first few eps just trying to figure out who was who and how they were related to each other.

Honestly, it feels like meeting old friends again, even with negative characters like Concubine Lin.

But OMG Baby Minglan and Baby Ting Ye are ADORABLE!!!!

I think the best thing this adaptation did was introduce Ting Ye into the story from the beginning. I am reading the novel now and since it’s mainly from Minglan’s POV, we don’t really get much of Ting Ye until he comes a-courting, but the makers rightly decided this would make the drama unbalanced, especially since it’s not really limited to Minglan’s POV the way the novel is (also frankly, if you cast Feng Shao Feng as your male lead, you are wasting him if you are not using him to the fullest.) Plus, they added a number of interactions between them, which I love so much SO MUCH but even with that, their narratives run largely parallel for about a third of a story and it really works somehow!

Anyway, this was not in the novel but I adore it - oldest Sheng sister is getting married and the dummy third brother is gambling with Ting Ye in the arrow game on the betrothal geese (which wtf third bro, you are a dummy!) and he’s about to lose badly and lose face for the family until Minglan saves the day.

When I first watched this drama, I didn’t have many thoughts on this - how could I have, I had no idea who any of these people were. But now, I kind of love how it encapsulates both their characters and their future relationship - Minglan here has not yet learned to hide her talent the way she conceals it later, but it’s interacting with Ting Ye that allows her to bring it out. And the other thing to note is Minglan here doesn’t do it to show off (the way Molan would for example), she does it to help her family and to help her oldest sister. That characteristic of caring for those who show her love is going to remain with her, but she will get a lot more cautious with her heart after her mother’s death and seeing firsthand how her father cares for nothing as much as his own comfort. She is a warm, sweet, loving child and it’s sad to see it all being covered by layers of propriety and self-protection and prudent concealment, until her marriage actually allows it to bloom again (I honestly think that the healthiest thing she’s even done since a grown up was near the end, screaming like a fishwife at Tingye and spitting at him (and then smooching the life out of him lol) - in front of her household and his soldiers and not giving a damn about the propriety of her actions or the audience.)

And with Tingye? He has something most male characters lack in their world - genuine good nature that is not concerned with face as much as it is with doing what he thinks is the right course. He is that unusual combo of laid back yet strong-willed. I mean, think about it - even someone as righteous as Changbai or Qi Heng would not tolerate losing the game to a little girl and is so very concerned with propriety in general - we see how they behave in various circumstances later. (And we are not even gonna get into the wide variety of problematic men in this drama and how they would act.) But while the game is an impulsive choice (and Tingye can be hella impulsive and, until life beats it out of him, manipulated, just as he got manipulated into the game by the Uncle), he loses to a little girl so good-naturedly! I mean, think about it, in that society, as a young man (and those are especially touchy about their prowess and ability and honor and what not), he loses to a little girl! And it does not bother him at all and his whole attitude is “well played!” Not just that, when he throws those arrows last, when he’s by himself and nobody is watching and the game is long over, he’s clearly very very skilled. But he doesn’t care if people know it or not as long as he knows it about himself, and that is Tingye in a nutshell. Just as later as adults, he loses to her in polo and he is fine with that. That is so freaking freaking rare.

Just as the way he makes friends with Changbai - he apologizes wholeheartedly and explains himself and he manages to win over the starchiest of the starchiest into a lifelong friend.

Honestly, his horrible family are a bunch of complete idiots, especially his awful father. At least his stepmom is not related to him and pushing her own kid, I get that, she doesn’t care what Tingye is like. But his father is his biological father and he is so blinded by resentment towards Tingye’s mother (a resentment that is really his own guilt for being weak) that he can’t even see what kind of son he actually has.

Damn, I am writing a freaking dissertation so I should stop.

#cdrama #the story of minglan

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silvysartfulness · 4 years

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Writer meta asks: 3, 19, 20

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

I already answered this one in another post - there’s no special such scene; if I want to write just a standalone scene I’ll do it as a one-shot and imply context and set-up in-writing. But there are scenes I look forward to writing; for the Roadtrip, a lot will go down and shift perspectives all around in the arc I mentally call the Mountains of Mist arc. That’s definitely a bit I have high hopes for!

... Technically the scene I’m supposed to be writing right now has also long been one of the “oh yeah, I’m really looking forward to this one!” bits, except now that I’m actually about to write it, I’m finding myself a bit frozen. Hopefully I’ll be able to push through this block and make it as good as I previously envisioned it...

Oh, no wait! To be honest - there are a few scenes I haven’t managed to find a good place for in the Roadtrip timeline yet, but have been very entertained by in headcanons, and that’s a fair number of WWX and XY interaction scenes!

I don’t know if I’ll manage to work things out enough in the story to make any of that fit, but I have a vivid image of WWX and XY literally bumping into each other at the market street of a random town while departing a liquor stall and candy stall respectively. XY is delighted by the chance meeting and toothily compliments WWX’s reflexes in catching the falling bottles, WWX is mostly “wtf how are you still not dead??” about things. If I can get the timeline to allow for it, it’s a scene I’d still love to write, but we’ll see.

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

Ahaha. I suspect if you do a word count in my writing, you’ll see the word “pain” repeated at somewhat alarming frequency?

I like to describe body language, especially what people are doing with their hands. And eyes, I pay a lot of attention to eyes.

As for tropes, just stamp me with the “redemption arc” stamp and move on. I love, more than anything, characters who have to face their mistakes and go through a painstaking journey of sorting messes out, setting things right. Sometimes willfully, out of a genuine desire to make things better. Sometimes reluctantly or even trying not to, only sullenly agreeing in the end for one well-founded reason or another.

I love to write messy characters, greyscales, heart wrenching situations where both sides are equally wrong and right. Am also absolute sucker for “hard, cold-hearted character, absolutely coming apart at gestures of care and kindness”. That gets me every single time.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Uh-oh. You've done it now. I'll place the rest under a cut, because I can and will talk about this at length.

I already wrote in a previous post about the layers of meaning in my chapter titles, so I'll leave that aside for now.

I love using symbolism and allegories in my writing. There are some obvious ones at first glance – I often refer to Xiao Xingchen as the moon himself, especially from Xue Yang’s point of view (the moon has been one of the few proxies for Xiao Xingchen he’s had for a long time) His inner light, something with beauty and integrity but also phases of both light and dark and the ability to shift inbetweeen, unreadable. The same way I will often use ice and frost to describe Song Lan - ”he realized with frostbite clarity” is a sentence I remember that I liked writing for him.

Xue Yang isn't as clear cut; his themes shifts depending on the pov character – Song Lan thinks of him as serpent-like, and there's a wolf-theme coming up as well. But my main subtle motif for Xue Yang in this story is the tiger. Drawn partly from the obvious angle of him being able to create a Yin Tiger Amulet of his own, as well as wearing clothing with a leopard-spot like pattern in Yi City, and finally Wei Wuxian's comment of ”releasing the tiger back to the mountain” when learning Xue Yang escaped punishment for the Chang massacre. In Chinese animal symbolism, the tiger is the king of beasts, something very powerful and clever, but also unreliable, prone to lash out.

In one of the first chapters, Xue Yang is described as being ”bound with enough ropes and knots to subdue a tiger” and there are many references to the Yin Tiger Amulet throughout. I drew him and Song Lan as shishi statues in the illustration for chapter 7, feline guardians of the dead that can be interpreted as lions but also tigers. So that's a semi-secret theme. :)

Another layer of symbolism is the Daoist philosophy sprinkled throughout. Sometimes directly, through outright quotes, but often more subtly in how Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan relate to the world and other people.

”Take action by letting things take their course, he reminded himself. The more he hurried, the longer it would take to get where he was going. He could be patient. Would be.”

”He smiled again, grateful for the understanding, for the simplicity, patience, compassion.”

“An empty patch on the ground,” he signed. “We'll make the future a spot where nothing is yet growing.” “An empty spot, where the Universe may plant a seed,” he finished. Song Lan nodded, made the softest hum of agreement.

“Now, now - haven't you heard, Song-daozhang?” he giggled, unsteadily, hauled along in unceremonious jerks. “Treat those who are kind with kindness, but also treat those who are not kind with kindness, only thus is kindness obtaine-... ow.” ← Xue Yang is not above throwing their teachings in their faces for his own benefit, either.

Another thing I enjoy writing is how Xiao Xingchen will very easily fall into familiarity with both Song Lan and Xue Yang when he interacts with them, but they're two very different kinds of familiarity, and he's often not at all aware himself that he's doing it. (They are. Especially the party not currently being interacted with, glaring daggers at the other.) He often just... assumes they'll do a certain thing, and they'll automatically find themselves doing it.

They are both utterly dedicated to him, though they may not realize it themselves, and he certainly doesn't. He doesn't want to take anything for granted with Song Lan, and he doesn't dare trust Xue Yang, but in the little moments of thoughtlessness, they'll just accidentally fall into old familiar roles of attachment, and then blink awake, surprised and disturbed at the ease of it. ♥

I also find it delightful how Xue Yang absolutely despises Song Lan, but is still ready and willing to rope him into herding Xiao Xingchen when necessary - and Song Lan will grudgingly follow his lead, to a point. They may not like it, but they do have a goal in common in keeping their person safe.

There is a certain point to the fact that Xue Yang mostly only mentally refers to a-Qing as ”the girl” in his mind. Nothing quite as strong as actual remorse, but it's a slightly chafing subject he does avoid thinking about. She wasn't supposed to die - hurt, yes, be punished for her perceived part in the destruction of their happy home, but not die - and now that Xiao Xingchen is back, it is odd, at times, that she isn't there as well.

Finally - have some teasers for future written chapters! The apples of the merchant in Tanzhou will make a reappearance, as will the beggar girl by the gate. Xue Yang will write Song Lan a heartfelt poem in an upcoming chapter. Song Lan is made to promise to write a couple of old ladies letters. Xiao Xingchen performs emotional manipulation so badly it offers the other two an unexpected moment of bonding. Xue Yang slips and does an unprompted Good Deed and instantly regrets it. (it does help when Xiao Xingchen smiles at him.)

There are more themes of foreshadowing in there, but I also don't want to spoil things, so I'l leave it at this for now.

As always, if anyone has any specific questions about the Roadtrip, please feel free to ask! I may evade if it's spoilery, but 99.9% of the time, I'll happily flail for hours about this story – and it helps keeping me inspired and writing, too! ♥♥♥

#asksilvy #the happy songxuexiao roadtrip story #untamed artfulness #nagisachan1

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hellzyeahwebwielingessays · 4 years

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The Not-So-Amazing Mary Jane Part 6: AMJ #1

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Now we’ve finally established all necessary contexts we can begin diving into the AMJ series proper. My intent is to break down each issue page by page.

Let’s get started.

We open with Mary Jane shooting a sizzle reel for the film’s investors. Evidently she is playing Mysterio’s super powered love interest.

Here we get into our first few problem but I admit it might not actually be a problem.

See, ASM v5 #29 established that MJ has already seen McKnight’s ‘reel’ so why are they filming another sizzle reel?

I admit to being in the dark about Hollywood practices so this might be perfectly normal and therefore not a contradiction. Let me know if that is the case.

This page introduces yet more problems though they too are rather minor.

The smallest of these is depicting Kangaroo as Australian. Last I checked (and I admit I might be mistaken about this) the Kangaroo was in fact NOT Australian. Or at least this version of the character isn’t as he is the second Kangaroo merely inspired by the original.

That’s a tiny nitpick but I thought I’d mention it. And it’s one that’s easily explained away. He could be emulating an Australian accent for effect or something like that.

The more notable problem is that MJ is deriding the script. This contradicts MJ’s statements in ASM v5 #29/830 where she is praiseworthy of the writing after immediately reading through some of it with Peter.

You could argue that perhaps MJ was commenting upon the script in general and not specifically her own part. As in her starring in this movie would be great for her career because the movie in general was looking to be great. Or alternatively the script for the sizzle reel was bad.

But consider that the script is directly based upon Webspinners #1-3, which (again I might be mistaken about this too) I do not recall ever featuring Mysterio’s would be lover as anything like a super heroine.

Again, this is reconcilable. Rewrites happen. Embellishments on the truth happen.

But to me the reality seems be that either Williams was unaware of the movie being based upon Webspinners (which is entirely possible) or that she wanted to go in another direction for the story.

Either way, it’s a weakness of the comic book but not a deal breaker of a problem.

This page also represents one of the problems from an analytical standpoint with this series.

There is a certain amount of ambiguity through the writing and art in regards to what Mary Jane (and other characters) might be thinking and feeling.

Look at MJ’s baffled face when looking at the Spider-Man actor on the above page.

My initial impression was that she could be simply weirded out by seeing an overdramatised version of her lover. In particular when he’s going over a tragic event in his and her own life (Gwen’s death).

It could just be bafflement over why that’d even be in the movie. After all what has Gwen’s death got to do with the life of Mysterio. I guess Spidey’s implication in Gwen’s death was public knowledge but it still has nothing to do with Beck.

Alternatively that facial expression might (and I emphasis this as speculation) represent MJ’s confusion and concern about that being included in a film. That is to say that’s something of a personal cut for Spider-Man and Mary Jane’s life. She could be wondering if someone knows the truth about Peter’s identity?

If the latter is the case it might go some way into alleviating and explaining other problems I have.

But I just don’t know, because the comic is not making it clear-cut. To my eyes that look says ‘this is so surreal’ and doesn’t say ‘This is concerning. Could Peter and I be in danger?’

However if that was the intention it might’ve been intended to then organically transition into the acknowledgment that there are literal super villains on set and the consequent page in which MJ comments that Cage McKnight fleeing is suspicious.

Here is where we’re starting to get into the bigger problems, but let’s start with a smaller one.

The scene implies that McKnight is a an actual person and a respected filmmaker. This is again contradictory to ASM v5 #29. There MJ referred to McKnight as very new, as someone who lacked an agent until very recently. The implication by Spencer was clearly that McKnight was a false identity that Beck invented. Williams/the editors is clearly ignoring that. That’s not a good sign, although it’s not irreconcilable. It’s entirely possible that MJ’s dialogue in ASm v5 #29 in-story was actually true.

Mary Jane comments that there are felons on set. She didn’t question this because Cage McKnight has a reputation for authenticity.

This line can be interpreted one of two ways.

a) MJ didn’t question actual criminals on set and didn’t do anything about it.

b) She phrased herself badly and what she meant was former felons, or that she presumed they were reformed/reforming felons.

The latter is a-okay, the former though....wtf?

MJ’s lived with a man who she knows spent most of his life torturing himself over allowing ONE criminal to walk free. She’s on set with a whole crew of criminals, including super villains and she’s shrugging it off? She’s not even questioning it?

‘Authenticity’ be damned, it’s illegal and potentially dangerous to knowingly harbour criminals, let alone super powered ones.*

But again, I’m willing to give the benefit of the doubt on that line. Between Cage’s reputation and the fact that so many criminals are working out in the open its not unreasonable for MJ to take it on faith that everything was on the up and up (even with the presence of super villains). After all the only confirmed super villain on set is the D (or Z) lister the Kangaroo who has at times been one of the good guys.

Mary Jane though is smart, socially savvy, can get a decent read of people and did study psychology for a time (she never completed the course but still). So she can tell something weird is up and it’s clear the intention is that she’s been growing suspicious for a while now.

In this essay series I don’t plan on praising the issues as that’s not the point. Besides I do that in other posts anyway. Nevertheless it’s worth pointing out that Williams really hits the mark on MJ’s personality here.

Her statements about Cage ‘claiming’ to have written this role for her (where she conveniently plays the love interest to a super person) and simply handing it to her imply MJ is detecting a trap. This touches on what I said above about her facial expression. About how it’s possibly intended to float the idea that she’s concerned that someone’s figured out Peter’s secret.

However, she could just as easily be thinking this is a trap specifically for her. After all, she’s been targeted by stalkers before (like Jonathan Caesar). That interpretation is arguably supported by MJ’s line about being scammed with an empty promise of stardom. Even if she doesn’t think this is some kind of super villain grand scheme of any kind it’d likely ring alarm bells for any young and (by stereotypical standards) attractive person in Hollywood; at least it would nowadays.

As we move onto the next page Cage reveals himself as in fact Mysterio and confesses he engineered this con in order to tell his life story.

He proceeds to inform MJ what is and isn’t real about the film and explain where the real Cage McKnight is. In doing so he admits that the film is happening through fraud, identity theft (sorry I don’t know the correct legal terminology) and the hiring of former felons and active criminals.

More specifically he produces (what he claims to be) a live video feed of the real Cage McKnight’s location on the Falkland Islands where he will be spending around a year on a film project that doesn’t actually exist. He also claims that this project is his last chance to do something good with the ‘time he has left’ (implying he is dying) and that he wanted to give the felons and criminals a similar chance to make something good and meaningful.

After being honest with her, MJ admits this situation is insane, but then agrees to go along with it.

First of all let me get this out of the way. Mysterio has actual active criminals on set but he also wants media attention. Isn’t that counter productive? The media are going to report that (some of the crew are obvious more than human, with green skin no less) and it’s going to cause both unwanted attention from the authorities and problems in general.

With that said let’s talk about the bigger issues with these pages.

Part of the problem in analysing them is that it we have to consider things from the POVs of MJ, Mysterio and our own (which is semi-omniscient).

We know Mysterio:

Is in the employ of the demonic Kindred who’s working a vendetta against Spider-Man.

Faked his own death again back in ASM v5 #24-25

Is doing this movie to make the most out of his time before he is dragged back to Hell

Is aware of Peter’s identity and that it’s highly likely he demanded MJ’s inclusion in the movie (whether of his own volition or on Kindred’s orders) specifically because of her connection to Spider-Man

Essentially we know Mysterio’s reasons for making the movie (including his limited time) are true…but they also omit certain important facts.

In other words…he’s acting.

He has legally (and more often illegally) worked as an actor. He was able to fool executives who literally work in the film industry where actors are basically a prerequisite. He is a massively skilled manipulator.

And here, the context the audience are aware of, conveys that he’s using the truth to get what he wants but is nevertheless withholding the real truth. Maybe this will be addressed later but at the moment it is beyond unlikely that Mysterio truly felt MJ was simply the only person to play his love interest. She is obviously there because of her connection to Peter.

Me personally though, I am not exactly certain Williams wrote this moment with the idea that Beck was being actively deceptive. My personal impression is that she was writing Beck as sincere and simply vulnerable because he knows he'll be returned to Hell soon. This vulnerability would be the reason for his opting for honesty. Now I don’t have any evidence to back that up I will admit, we will have to see as the series progresses.

But the most important thing about this scene isn’t our POV nor Beck’s, but MJ’s.

She is the lead character the person the story revolves around, her actions, decisions and agency is what is paramount in the context of this series.

From that perspective these three pages alone put us several layers into serious mischaracterization.

MJ wouldn’t help Beck because he’s hurt her loved ones

Even if he hadn’t she wouldn’t trust him because of the other horrible things he has done that she knows about

Even if she didn’t know about those things she knows his M.O. and abilities and thus wouldn’t trust him

Even if she sensed sincerity she’d not help him because he’s committed and still committing several serious crimes and unethical actions in this very story

Even if she believed those crimes weren’t so bad and that he was sincere she’d be smart enough to consider the possibility that he’s tricking her and double check what he’s told her

If she presumed (not that there is any evidence of this in the comic) that Beck was out legally and she ignored him obviously engaging in identity theft, she’d still double check those fact and learn that he has in fact escaped.

No matter how you slice this Mysterio is very much in the wrong here and so is Mary Jane. She even admits it’s insane and then agrees to go along with it.

Not only is she out of character to nuclear levels but even if this was a completely new villain MJ had never heard of before the mere fact that he’s clearly committed serious crimes to get to this point and is going to continue to do so (chiefly by impersonating McKnight) should be enough to make her her to bow out.

There is soooooooooo much more I could write about this because it cuts to the heart of the problematic premise as presented by the issue. However I will dive more deeply into that in numerous future instalments once we are done with issue #1.

Moving onto the next few pages, MJ predicates her agreement on the condition that her role be rewritten to improve her character.

This is a fact that she explains will actually improve the film over all. Their discussion occurs as Mysterio gives her a tour of the set and they chat about rewriting her character.**

During the course of this tour Mysterio unveils some of his film techniques and (at least seemingly) confirms what is and is not real about the production. Among the techniques he is using are his incredible holographic technology and his robot duplicates of the X-Men from ASM Annual #1.

This tour also includes a direct reference to Mysterio’s suicide from ‘Guardian Devil’, implying the artist and editor at least are aware of the events of that story. I’d like to imagine Williams is too. Regardless it’s problematic for the comic to acknowledge those events but treat Mysterio sympathetically in light of what he did in that story. And needless to say it’s problematic to write MJ as so chill around Beck in this scene/comic given how she knows about those events because she was in the story!

Anyway, MJ gets excited by the prospect of a spin off sequel. That in turn prompts one of the crewmen to imply she got her job through ‘womanly wiles’.

This enrages ‘Cage’ who assaults the man, an event witnessed and recorded by the surrounding crew. As she witnesses these events her self MJ has a curious facial expression.

Much like her expression seeing the actor playing Spider-Man, MJ’s face here is difficult to interpret.

It could mean any number of things.

Could she be viewing Mysterio as someone she’ll have to play carefully?

Is she thinking she’ll have to do her best to ensure he doesn’t get out of hand, whether it’s for her own protection or others’?

I do not know. It’s kind of vague. Hopefully it’s meaning will become clear in consequent issues, but if I’m supposed to understand clearly what it means in this issue then Williams or Gomez dropped the ball.

Something they didn’t drop the ball on though is Mysterio’s characterization. It’s worth mentioning out of fairness that this emphasis upon Mysterio as a passionate artist is extremely in keeping with his character and Williams handles him expertly on this front.

Beck finishes up his tour with a recreation of a scene from ASM #66-67 and MJ is delighted by the fun she and Mysterio are going to have in making the movie.

Notice that Beck directly references how this set piece is recreating a trap he laid for Spider-Man, how he used psychedelic gas to trick his mind.

In essence this is Mysterio simply stating outright to Mary Jane that he once tried to harm her boyfriend and even drugged him to that effect.

And MJ’s reaction to this is…to giggle with glee.

Really?

She doesn’t even show any hint of apprehension over that? We the readers aren’t even made privy to an internal tensing or recoiling on MJ’s part to this man just casually mentioning a time he sought to end the life of the man she is in love with?

Seriously, what the fuck. You better believe we’ll be talking more about this too.

Even from Mysterio’s point of view it muddies the waters of his motivations. As we extensively examined in prior instalments, it’s very likely that Beck knows Peter is Spider-Man, and thus by extension probably knows that Mary Jane is his lover. So it’s incredibly stupid on his part to blithely mention to MJ a time he drugged Spider-Man and tried to kill him.

Alternatively let’s say Beck’s hiring of MJ was in Kindred’s orders and he is unaware of the exact connection between her and Spider-Man/Peter. It’s still stupid because he’d still be able to deduce she very probably has something to do with Spider-Man because he knows Kindred wants her out of the way as he wages war on the wall-crawler.

The fact that Beck is written this way indicates Williams is unaware of the Spencer ASM issues which set up AMJ and/or doesn’t care and/or the editors aren’t doing their due diligence . Regardless it’s a major weak spot of the story. It either breaks the larger narrative that exists between the two titles or it renders Beck out of character via his stupidity.

The latter would be true even if Beck simply wanted MJ in his movie just because he liked her as an actress. He’d still be throwing out the fact he drugged and tried to kill someone (a former Avenger no less) in his past.

As the story progresses MJ and Peter have a chat on the phone where she makes a point of alleviating any discomfort he might have over making a sympathetic Mysterio biopic, claiming it is the Breaking Bad of super hero films. She continues by pointing out the career opportunities the role presents.

Peter raises concerns for MJ’s safety, suggesting she might find herself surrounded by villains; ironically unaware that Mary Jane is in that exact situation.

MJ assuages his concerns by reminding him of the time she defeated an actual super villain (the Chameleon, though he goes unnamed) with just a baseball bat.

MJ’s statements regarding the movie are arguably contradictory.

Earlier in her conversation with Beck MJ stated that the film empathizes with Mysterio and doesn’t apologise for it.

But then at the end of the story she tells Peter that the film actually isn’t glorifying Mysterio. Rather, it is making the Breaking Bad of super hero movies with an unreliable narrator.

This isn’t necessarily irreconcilable, but it is somewhat poorly communicated on Williams’ part. Breaking Bad’s defining message was that you shouldn’t be like Walter White. That he was in the wrong, even from the very start.

Why would Mysterio ever write a film about himself in that light? It doesn’t make sense and it would contradict MJ’s dialogue about how the movie empathises with Mysterio as a villain and doesn’t apologise for that. Breaking Bad wasn’t empathetic towards Walter White, it showed him very clearly as a monster and its final episode had him admit that fact.

Moreover if the film empathises but never apologises for Beck (and is directed by him personally) then isn’t that tantamount to glorifying him?

Because of this the issue leaves us with three possible interpretations of Mary Jane in this moment.

She is either:

Blinded by the prospect of fame and/or fortune and/or excitement and as such cannot see that the film obviously is glorifying Beck. To an extent we’ll talk more about this in a future instalment. Suffice it to say that’s very out of character

She is outright stupid, which is also out of character

She is deliberately lying to Peter about the artistic nature of the film project. There is a strong case (that we will get to) for MJ lying to Peter about Beck being out of character for her. However, were this a regular film production it might not be an OOC move for her. She wants to make the movie and alleviate her boyfriend’s feelings for the moment. Fibbing to keep their long distance relationship healthy and happy and hopefully being more straight with him when it’s over is not an unreasonable thing to do.

Options 1)-2) don’t exactly paint Mary Jane in a positive light, nor does option 3) necessarily.

MJ just isn’t this stupid, isn’t this capable of being star struck (she’s seen too much serious shit in her time for that) and lying to the love of her life about something like this is questionable. On the latter point it can be argued that there’d be no advantage of her lying to Peter about the project because he’s obviously going to find out when the movie is released.

Personally I suspect Williams never intended to imply any of the above interpretations.

I think she or the editors just didn’t catch that the dialogue at the end of the issue contradicts the dialogue from earlier. Which would be bad writing/editing but not demonstrative of Williams not fundamentally understanding the character. On occasion Stan Lee himself mischaracterized Spider-Man by accident.

Nevertheless a moment that reflects badly upon MJ.

The last moment from this scene involves a ’20 second dance party’ between MJ and Peter.

Its only relevance to this analysis is to exemplify some ways in which Williams nails Mary Jane’s character.

She’s flirtatious, she’s vibrant, she loves to dance, she loves to party, she can get the overly serious and often angst ridden Peter to emerge from his shell. Combined with MJ’s savvy earlier in the story, her tenaciousness and references to old continuity I can absolutely understand why Williams seemed like a good pick for the project.

But it’s moments like these that frustrate me about this comic (and I suspect the series going forward). It’s not that Williams fundamentally misunderstands Mary Jane but she drops the ball in a few places. Unfortunately those include drops that are so huge that they break the entire story. At least that will be the case if she doesn’t fill in the holes in her narrative.

The end result though is an extremely mixed bag wherein you have logic holes and mischaracterization so bad it debatably counts as (unintentional) character assassination but at the same time some of the absolute best Mary Jane or Mysterio moments ever! The 20-second dance party is going to be fondly remembered by every Mary Jane fan and MJ/Peter shipper forevermore, and rightly so.

But equally, unless properly justified in the future, MJ knowingly teaming up with Mysterio deserves to go down as one of the all time worst out of character moments for her ever.

The final relevant thing from the issue to talk about is the last page. It entails the Vulture’s gang of villains (the Savage Six) reading an article about the Mysterio biopic and deciding to head for L.A.

This is only really relevant for two reasons.

The first is the set up it supplies for future issues.

The second is that the article specifically talks about leaked set photos.

This further plays into the confusing nature of Mysterio’s scheme. He wants the media interest to act as a form of publicity (arguably this leak is an example of that) but he also has current villains on his staff. Wouldn’t the press be likely to find out about that and thereby jeopardize the project?

Reputation for authenticity or not, that’s extremely illegal.

With aaaaaaaall that said it’s time to move onto dissecting the status quo set up by this issue.

It’s all subject to change of course. Williams might address each and every problem eloquently at some point. But taking it at face value I am going to dedicate one (or more…) instalment(s) of this essay series to exploring the problems presented by this premise.

*We will talk much more extensively about this in a future instalment I promise you.

**By the way I don’t quite understand what MJ is asking her character to be rewritten into. She asks why she’s fighting without super powers but then says she should already be doing that in the story and that this is how she falls in love with the hero?????????????????????? Maybe I’m being dense but that just wasn’t clearly communicated to the readers).

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#Amazing Mary Jane #Leah Williams #mjwatsonedit #mary jane watson #Mary Jane Watson Parker #MJ Watson #Spider-Man #Carlos Gomez #Mysterio #quentin beck #Peter Parker #Savage Six #Adrian Toomes #X-Men #vulture #The Vulture

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yaboylevi · 4 years

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What about this chapter did you not like? love your art btw ❤️

Thanks!

Sorry for the wait, I wanted to read the official chapter and wait for a bit to see if my feelings changed (spoiler: they didn't).

It would be way faster to list the few things I enjoyed but alas.

VERY negative opinions under the cut. Seriously, if you liked the chapter, don't read this, I don't want to spoil your fun or upset you. I didn't bother to write this in a respectful tone, it's not an analysis, it's just me venting. That being said, if you guys read this ignoring my warning and get upset, it'll be your fault and responsibility, yeah.

The Annie's father stuff was okay, though I hope it's gonna be explained why he was the only one in Liberio running against the flow of the screaming crowd.

Then we get Reiner being pathetic once again, I am so tired of this. What's his purpose in the story aside from killing people, being a nuisance and or dead weight to others and feeling sorry for himself? I would've appreciated if he had had some introspection on how his rushed plan was partially the cause for Porco's death and Falco's transformation (and all the other deaths bc Zeke would've never screamed in Shiganshina if Reiner hadn't pushed for another attack there). But anyway if he'd had introspection, it would've been about self-pity and NEVER growth because he seems unable to have that, so I would've disliked it anyway.

If I wasn't already rolling my eyes this hard at Reiner, then I would've started at Gabi. She's all over the place and I guess it's understandable since she is a kid and also deeply shocked and in pain. I understand it. But I don't like how Isayama made her go from despair, to murder instinct, to calm and collected in 2 pages. It's just ???? Then we have the Eren parallel and I groaned out loud. Whatever its meaning is. It's just forced.

One of the things I hated this chapter for and that I'm becoming so annoyed at in general lately, is that EVERYTHING parallels something that has already happened, and I don't understand if Isayama thinks he's being smart or if it has some deeper meaning like "oh see, history repeats itself!! wow!! a concept that is not being repeated ad nauseam in the series, not at all!! /s". I don't need it to be shoved into my face.

Idk. Also Reiner, of course, being safe in a house amongst titan territory...of...course...

Then the 104th scene. Ugh. Jean's delusion is so annoying. One moment he's rational, the other is like "muuuuu ereh is doing this for us!!! we couldn't do anything!!!", then he's rational again. Maybe if they had paid attention to Eren, and didn't only take into consideration stupid ideas that would've never worked for 4 years, maaaybe yeah, this wouldn't be happening. Who knows. I'm just tired of the 104th whining about their situation. I understand where they're coming from, their feelings, etc, I understand it's a crazy and emotional situation and all, but we already have SO MANY CHAPTERS about it, it's time to move on at least with the plot. It's just so pathetic and annoying. It makes me angry how he's basically trying to avoid responsibility or rationalize genocide like all the Eren goat stans in the fandom. I hate this mentality so much. "if they disappear, so will all the hatred! Do we really have to stop him?" JESUS CHRIST JEAN..............yikes

And then of course they (and Isayama) had to ruin chapter 108.

Then Jean also had the guts to say they should kill a kid so they can revive a commander, just bc he's too scared to take the reins of the situation. Again, I understand the struggle, it's the same as Hange afterall, it's just very, very ugly how he didn't even waver. Connie's been acting irrational, and he's been swept up by his anger for a while now, so I understand his development. Plus I find it more relatable to wanting to make a big sacrifice for someone you love, rather than someone you (think you) need. But Jean???? wtf. He doesn't even think back on the sin he was willing to commit, he isn't ashamed.

Armin as well doesn't even care that it's a kid they're talking about, he's only strategizing. And here's another annoying point: he's able to make these calculations now but when it comes to Eren his brain freezes and he becomes a delusional kid. Where were his brains when he had to think up of ways to negotiate with the world? Anyway, I get it, it's because Eren's his childhood friend and family. I am just so tired of seeing this again and again, and again. We've been stuck on this for over a year... Nothing has changed, they're just dejectedly going back and forth on their opinions and feelings. Really goes to show that Eren was the real heart of their group...

Connie flying away from the battlefield, effectively splitting again the povs we need to follow is...big yikes.

Parallel to Trost, parallel to Serumbowl. Yeah wow so interesting.

Nile dying so quick like that was also underwhelming. And it was unnecessarily cruel, imo, that as a titan he tried to kill children when as a person he was so sweet with kids (except with Eren, of course...).

The Gabi-Sasha parallel left me a bit confused. On the one hand, I don't like the killer being paralleled to the murdered. But on the other hand, I understand why that is [/inserts meta that i don't care about writing]. The Kaya-Gabi moments were also cute + Nicolo's little speech was nice, though a bit awkward, imo. I bitterly laughed at Gabi finally admitting that she mindlessly killed people just to be praised. At least she can better herself from now on! If only her cousin could take his self-pity and do something to change himself with it, but no, he just wants to change others or run away (and this is why i don't like reiner anymore).

Shadis saving these ungrateful kids was pretty cool.

I felt bad for Yelena, I want to see more of her (and maybe Mikasa+Louise), but instead, we have Jean vs Floch angst and I'm already sleeping, because I care so little about both of them.

Isayama painting Jean as a cool leader is just embarrassing when moments before he was pathetically whining and trying to kill a child (to which there was no setup, especially comparing it to the setup for Connie's plot thread. The last we saw of Jean with a kid was him wondering if he hesitated in killing the Cart because of Falco 15 chapters ago...and that was a compelling doubt but I guess he hadn't hesitated at the time, after all lol). The pages dedicated to the killing of the titans were boring, occupying space for nothing imo. Glossing over them would've sufficed, there could've just been the Pixis stuff, and it would've been fine. Which, btw, made me laugh a little in retrospect, because Armin is once again involved in the death of a Commander. Oh well.

I also didn't like that mini-flashback with Eren&Pixis. I guess Isayama wants to ruin every single nice moment Eren had with other people, because Eren is soooo so so bad now uwu, for no good reason, and it's only his fault right? people were nice to him and look at how he repaid them uwu. Big yikes for me.

I expected more from that Louise panel because it made me go [EYES EMOJI], but I guess I'll have to wait.

It's also unbelievable that NO ONE IN THE WHOLE STORY has thought of stopping Floch, when last time they arrested him, so technically why would they even leave him running around NOW? It's beyond me. Do they have a brain?

As for the basement conversation with Gabi, I hope that "I won't give up on Falco" panel + Armin looking at Gabi thoughtfully will start a "We can't give up on Eren" mindset for the 104th, but I doubt it's gonna be handled in a non-pathetic way, considering how's been done as of late.

Gabi screaming to talk to Eren was also very embarrassing from a reader pov (well, my pov). Because she was RIGHT THERE when EMA talked last time, and she should know that would most likely not work (I guess she's talking out of desperation but still...ppl be like "yeah!! they should talk to ErEn!1 why didn't they think of it!?!?!" and I mean it's probably gonna come down to that if the final audio is of any indication...I just find the presentation of this concept awkward and forced).

I really disliked most of Gabi's part, even though she's a character I have learned to enjoy. I guess what shined through in this chapter is exactly what I don't like about how Isayama uses Gabi's character: it seems like she's just there as a fast-paced mini representation of the story themes, so she's just an instrument to the story. Sometimes I feel like she's a real character, sometimes I feel she's just a tool for the story and the themes.

Armin's reaction to hearing about Annie is...I don't know. aruani has been one of my first ships and I used to be obsessed, but this is just awkward and forced, just like the previous aruani scene that made me angry at Armin. I don't even understand if Armin's shocked, scared or happy. All of these don't make sense to me, because I have no clue what he even expects from her.

Annie's release from the crystal happened in an unexpected way which i appreciated, though I would've liked it more if she had decided to get out on her own. But it depends on if she was stuck in there or if she was still willingly escaping from reality. If she was stuck, I will love this a lot more, because basically Eren set her free.

Also, Eren's radio podcast was longer I guess ("Eren said he would undo all the hardening"), and I wonder why we couldn't hear it all. Sigh.

In general, the "theme thread" of the chapter (adults & kids) felt really pushed in our face. I appreciate when things are a bit more subtle, this just came off as...boring, because every scene made me go "well, of fucking course this scene would end like this...". The only tense moment was the Connie part, let's be real.

And yeah, my perception may be also partially because I am so tired of no Eren pov and "eren is the evil, evil villain" rhetoric, so maybe I will appreciate this chapter more once we get his pov at the end of the story (bc i have no illusions left that this won't happen anytime before the finishing line). For now, I'm just frustrated because I didn't care about ANY of the things that went down in this chapter. Like, okay, let's move on, ffs.

Everything felt forced and contrived, like, Isayama must know that nobody cares about this stuff that much and everyone would prefer to see literally anything else amongst Eren, Historia, Levi&Hange, the Colossals. Hell, imagine if this chapter didn't have Annie at the end. That was the only thing that made this chapter barely worth the read for me. I hope the next one will at least follow Connie and Annie, if I can't get any of the other things that interest me.

#salt and character hate I'm so sorry hhhh #don't read if you get v upset @ ppl's opinions #and if you enjoyed the chapter #really #if you liked the chapter don't read this #if you read this and come cry in my ask box or replies I'll block you #if you read this and feel the need to rant on your blog (or your discord chat lol) about me you're just a loser bc I warned you #dl #shingeki asks #Anonymous

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romancing-lady-whistledown · 5 years

Text

Favorite acting - Second roles

in which I somehow manage to make the longest appreciation-post so far for the character who was known for only showing up on Fridays.

I swear the only episodes of season 3 that doesn’t have a scene on this list is episode 1 and episode 6 - oopsies!

The trailer

I recently shared all the trailers for the remakes of Isak’s season with my friend who is an actress and who is not watching the Skam-remakes. The Skam France trailer stood out to her, and the first thing she said was “I like the acting of the guy who plays French Isak”. Just like alot of people when they watched the trailer for the first time, she thought Eliott was Isak/Lucas, but unlike those who knew what Lucas looked like, she didn’t realize that he was Even/Eliott when he turned around. She said Skam France was one she’d check out if she ever decided to watch a remake. The point of this little story was that Maxence’s acting stood out to her from the trailer alone enough to make her interested in watching the season, and the exact same thing happened to me when I first watched it. Maxences performance in this trailer was what captured my attention and made me intrigued enough to watch the season live. I am eternally greatful for that.

The Piano-scene

I don’t think I need to go too much into depth about this one, we all know why this scene is amazing, but I need to say something. Now, I don’t know about you guys, but if someone put me in front of a camera and basically told me to fall in love right then and there, I would not know wtf to do. But Maxence clearly did, because there’s no other way to describe what is going on in this scene. In the trailer Eliott definitely had his “love at first sight”-moment just like Lucas did when he saw him for the first time in the common room, but this clip took the whole thing one step further. It was like Eliott in the trailer saw Lucas and immediately knew that he was gonna be someone important to him. I'm sure that if we had been following Eliott’s pov instead of Lucas’s we’d see something very similar to what we saw from Lucas in episode 2. Eliott trying to learn more about Lucas, Eliott looking for him at school. I think from the moment he saw him in the hallway Lucas was always on his mind, just like Eliott was always on Lucas’s mind. But during the piano-scene, there is no denying things reached another level. We moved past the curiosity point. During this scene Eliott fell deeply in love, and by the end of the scene he was so far gone that he was past the point of no return, which is why by the time he tried to distance himself from Lucas in episode 5, it was far too late. The whole time we were watching Lucas in Season 3 we saw that he was hopelessly in love with Eliott, but Maxence’s performance in this scene makes me feel like, had we been following Eliott instead of Lucas, we would’ve seen that he was even a little further gone than Lucas. Maxence manages to show the change that has happened in Eliott in the way he looks at Lucas as he’s about to leave. Before the piano scene he was acting very flirty and smooth, but after? Lucas looks like he can at least pretend to be somewhat casual until Eliott shuts the door, meanwhile Eliott looks absolutely mesmerized. We know that Eliott was holding back from kissing Lucas for the first time in this moment and looking at Eliott’s face in this screenshot, had I not known how the scene plays out, I could’ve totally pictured him jumping at Lucas here.

Oh look, I went too much in depth about this scene after all. Should I say I’m sorry or you’re welcome?? Either way this clip was definitely one of Maxence’s best acting moments in Skam France, and the fact that we basically switched pov to Eliott for a moment just added to how Maxence totally stole this scene. Anyways let me shut up.

The eyef*cking in episode 3

Idk if it’s the mannequin elite in him or what, but Maxence sure knows how to secude the camera. If you once again put me in front of a camera and told me to look like I wanted to completely devour the person I’m looking at, Idk how I would do that in a way that didn’t look either ridiculously over the top or so subtle the camera wouldn’t pick it up. But Maxence, once again, nailed it. As far as the scenes leading up to the first kiss in episode 4 are concerned, I would say the piano-scene in episode 2 is overflowing with romantic tension, while the scenes at the end of episode 3 are overflowing with sexual tension. First you have the dancing-scene and then you have the scene where Eliott casually comes out to Lucas and then proceeds to not so subtly eyef*ck him right in the middle of the street. And I think we all felt like we were in Lucas’s shoes practically begging Eliott to kiss us as we were watching Eliott's expression in this scene.

That time Eliott asked Lucas on a date right in front of his girlfriend’s face

Let’s get this out of the way, this scene as a whole is actually pretty hilarious when you think about what’s actually going on in it, namely that Eliott asks Lucas out on a date and they proceed to pick up the eyef*cking from last time while Chloe instead of picking up on what’s going on starts planning a double date for them. But what I’m actually here to talk about today is Maxence’s performance.

The way Maxence walks up to Lucas in this clip really communicates so much about how Eliott is feeling in this moment. He looks so nervous and vulnerable. We know he’s had a bad couple of days, and as a result of that he had to stand up Lucas and hurt his feelings in the process which took them a big step back. From the way Eliott looks it seems like the only reason why he went to school was to apologize. He’s putting himself completely out there, leaving himself open for rejection, a risk he is willing to take to at least have a shot at making things right and spending some time alone with Lucas. Maxence portrays this vulnerability so well. Another thing he plays so well in this scene is how Eliott only has eyes for Lucas. It’s a miracle that Chloe didn’t at least suspect that something was up just from the way Eliott was looking at him.

The dreaded scene

Time to step into the more painful scenes shall we? Starting off with the first Eliott-scene I had a really hard time watching all the way through (except for the dubstep-scene but that’s a whole other story). The way Maxence took Eliott from incredibly happy to see Lucas again for the first time since their special morning together and excited to be with him, to completely heartbroken by Lucas’s words. Just taking a screeåshot of this scene hurt tbh. But the acting? A++

That time Eliott was a hopeless romantic and both I and Lucas fell for his sweet ass words

This one is maybe a bit random and oddly specific, but I just love the way Eliott says “No” when Lucas asks if the kiss with Lucille really didn’t mean anything. I don’t think I’ve ever heard so much feeling in a “no”.

That scene

I’m not gonna write an essay on this scene simply because it’s not one I’ve rewatched as much as some of the others. But that's not because I didn’t absolutely love Maxence’s performance. Maxence killed it and that’s why it’s so difficult to watch.

Remember me

Maxence was literally just in this scene for a few seconds but those few seconds are hella memorable. The way he’s sitting alone in the dark, making himself as small as possible, the haunting image of Eliott crying after seeing his big ol’ sunshine smile in the majority of his scenes of the season...it’s short, but it’s very, very effective.

The time Eliott got to speak for himself

We all desperately wanted a scene like this and boy did they deliver. And this was another scene in which Maxence totally stole the show. He portrays the absolute vulnerability of Eliott in this scene perfectly. Eliott is sitting down, lowering his head, once again making himself look smaller. He’s on the verge of tears, voice breaking. He’s opening up completely, leaving himself completely bare, no more secrets to protect him. And he’s bracing himself for the most painful rejection that he has been expecting ever since Lucas said “I don’t need crazy people in my life”. The way Skam France handled Eliott’s mental illness in Season 3 episode 10, and Maxence’s performance in said episode, is the biggest reason why I so desperately want a full season for Eliott, and I know I’m not alone in that.

In conclusion: GIVE HIM A SEASON YOU COWARDS!

#skamfr #skam france #eliott demaury #renewskamfrance #elu

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rays-animorphs · 2 years

Text

Animorphs 7.5, the book with the most meaningless title so far (and that's saying something)

Part 2: Into The Woods

“I felt a tingling up my spine.” Cassie gets the most body feelings.

I didn’t realize amnesia was a sci fi kitchen sink trope, but I guess it is now.

We can skip the supernatural pregnancy thing though, right?

I love how Rachel figures that just staying in the forest is a viable option. ("Love" as in, it's an extremely bad decision, but in an entertaining way.)

I know someone who got lost in the mountains around Pasadena for days one time. He could have died. It was in the news. Watch out, Rachel.

There’s just some woman living in a shack in the woods? …sure, why not.

Sweet. They’ve found a source for replacement clothing. That’ll be helpful. (WTF.)

“My name or its name?” omg omg whoa omg

I am, however, absolutely willing to accept that working retail for long enough can drive anyone mad.

“There’s only one way to know for sure” tie her up for three days, judging by two books ago.

Or, alternately, show her an Andalite and watch her face.

Wow. She…wow.

Guess they got really lucky with Jake.

Hey, assuming the Animorphs win and free a bunch of humans…how many of them are going to end up like that?

(Back to the aftermath of Marco's bad decisions.) What Jake could have said: “Marco, you realize it’s wrong to stalk and terrorize people, right? We spy on the Yeerks because they’re invading Earth, we don’t spy on classmates for not inviting us to parties. We certainly don’t try to get back at them. That’s seriously not OK, and while you’re my best friend and I care about you deeply, I really need to know that I’m not friends with the sort of person who harasses girls for rejecting him. Can you promise me you won’t do that again?”

Jake: canonically stands up to bullies for someone he doesn’t even like, canonically also doesn’t stand up to his friend for being really shitty to a girl who didn’t invite him to a party for incredibly justified reasons.

“Someone could have been killed” yeah I guess in context that is a very important concern. But even if that wasn’t a risk, the behavior would still be bad. This isn’t equivalent to “Tobias and Rachel, releasing that hawk was dangerous”, this is not “danger vs understandably wanting to help a living being”, this is “danger and actively harming a living being.”

Tobias is now 2/2 for almost seeing something. Gah. Nice writing.

OK, it’s definitely drawn towards the act of morphing then. But why?

Huh. Almost getting burned alive is a new one.

Oh, that’s what I was thinking about. I was thinking that parts of this book seem kinda sorta vaguely maybe familiar? And I was thinking about how I tend to have a stronger reaction when the story’s from Rachel’s POV, which is ironic, because I have fucking nothing in common with Rachel.

I hope the amnesia plot was fun to write because I gotta say, I am not enjoying having “let’s review the basic plot elements of this series” for the 457th time. I know what Yeerks are.

Thank goodness Rachel is verbalizing her confusion, otherwise the rest of the team might have trouble figuring out 1. that she’s Rachel and 2. that she’s got a "who am I?" problem.

Ax! Ax! We get Ax’s perspective for the first time! Ax!

More exposition review. It’s a good thing I don’t have a physical copy of this book, I’d be seriously tempted to dump it in the shredder.

Ax thinks he has to kill Visser Three? That Visser Three? The one everyone is terrified of? Ax my friend, I think you may have to resign yourself to being dishonored. This is Visser Three we’re talking about.

(Also…do all the Andalites who lost a family member in the fighting have this obligation, or only if the victim is struck down in person? Because if it’s the former, yikes there’s going to be a lot of dishonored Andalites. They can’t all kill him. Probably. Not without some serious… planning involved anyways.

“I thought it would be better for Marco to have someone with him.” I’m cutting Ax some slack on this one, because he probably has little context for understanding human social norms, and as the newcomer he’s got relatively little influence in the group. In general though, I’m not a big fan of “enabling my friend’s harassment behavior for personal loyalty reasons” concept.

Trying to decide if Marco’s alleged intelligence is an informed attribute or whether it actually gets shown at some point. Apart from the initial video game. Kinda unclear? He’s the most consistent at pointing out when a plan is terrible, barring the earlier stuff in this book, but whether that’s intelligence or just caution is a bit unclear.

Whereas, for instance, Cassie’s peacemaking does get shown, as does Rachel’s tendency to lead the charge. Is it hard to show when an early teenager is intelligent? Without making it way over the top? It probably is.

Cassie’s always the one who has the relevant animal related facts on hand. We don’t really see Marco pulling out relevant info or making plans (none of them are really planners) … I haven’t been paying attention to whether he’s converting percentage of time left to minutes more often than the others, that could be one way of showing it.

(Edit: I'm doing the "make minor changes before posting" thing after having read book 10. They're appalling planners. Even when someone else hands them a plan on a silver platter, they still mess it up.)

“The humans assume that I must know every terrible thing that lives in this vast galaxy.” Mm.

If Andalites are sufficiently attached to grasslands to make a big part of their spaceships open fields, is staying under tree cover uncomfortable for Ax? (Is he staying under tree cover? He probably should be, especially since we know Yeerk ships have cloaking technology.)

Ax seems to be handling the whole “abandoned light years from home with no others of my kind (and also frequently in mortal peril, and also everyone on his ship died except for him)” thing really well. Are Andalites in general incredibly resilient, or is this a youth thing, or is it just Ax?

It can’t be that Applegate didn’t consider the potential for trauma reactions, give what she puts the rest of the team through.

“Where should I run? Not towards where Jake and Marco were supposed to be. I could not lead the beast to them.” I’m touched. Ax is badly scared, and he’s still prioritizing the humans’ safety. I guess Ax’s talk about bravery and honor and so on isn’t just talk, he actually does act on that value system. Like his brother did.

Is the crazy old lady all right? She’s a Yeerk survivor, I want her to be OK. Or at least not less ok than she was earlier in the book.

(Bear-Rachel losing a paw) Owwwww.

Thank goodness for morph healing.

Ax deciding he can’t save Rachel and needs a plan B. I like it. Pragmatism.

Finally one of them figures it out.

Calling Ax and Marco “smart” is like one of those click-bait-y ads where they’re like “some implausibly high percentage of people can’t work out this (actually extremely simple) problem! Can you?” Like, OK, I get this book is meant for kids, who are newer to reading and to various narrative conventions and so on and you gotta make your puzzles simpler than what you could do with a book for adults. But still. Come on.

It’s just letting Rachel go? This thing is dumb.

#animorphs 7.5 #megamorphs 1 #the andalite's gift

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panickedpansexualprincess · 7 years

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I don't dislike Tilde per se. I liked her a lot in TSS. She was strong and took ownership of her sexuality. But in TGC I think she was unneeded and unbelievable. She turned Eggsy into a prince/kept boy, forced him out of a career he loved, was a drug user, and manipulated him to propose/marry her. Not the signs of a good person or a healthy relationship. Still I'd never post hate for her in any of the tags. I just wish everyone would tag for her and her relationships so blacklist can catch it.

I appreciate that you don’t intend to post any hate for Tilde. I can also see why you might feel the way you do about her. I don’t think it’s near that cut and dry, though, to be perfectly honest. And, since you messaged me about it, I assume that you’re open to talking about it all, so I’ll be frank.

Although, haha, before I start the frank part, I’ll say that while I don’t tag individual characters, that’s not part of my tagging system, I do tag my Kingsman ships, so I can rec that if you want to block them, you might want to block ‘Royal Eggs,’ ‘Royal Hartwin,’ ‘Royal Merwin,’ and ‘Royal Merhartwin.’ Those are the ship names I’m using and the ones I’ve seen others use.

Okay. The frank, thoughtful bits now.

I was mildly unsure about Tilde on my first watch through. Mostly because yeah, okay, the most likely reason they wrote her in was to give Eggsy a heterosexual relationship, in an attempt to try and avoid slash ships. Which, is kind of funny, because good lord the Hartwin overtones are insane in TGC, far more so than I ever picked up from TSS. It’s like, they wrote Eggsy into a het relationship, and then ramped up the gay to about five thousand. And I’m saying that as someone who doesn’t ship Hartwin as my main ship, cause my main ship is Merwin, but lord in heaven was the Hartwin strong in this movie. So, uh. Guys, guys, mixed signals here. XD

(Which is why I just figure he’s bi. Or pan. Or somewhere around there in the inbetween. XD)

That said, I didn’t stay unsure for long. Mostly because, well, A. the idiots already fridged one of our strong ladies because wtf (and she’s not dead, dammit, I refuse), so I am going to happily embrace Tilde for the wonderful lady she is- and she is a strong woman in her own right, as we know from TSS. B. I was insanely happy that if they were going to pair Eggsy off with a lady, at least it wasn’t Roxy, because good lord no please no. By which I mean, with no disrespect towards people who ship Roxy/Eggsy, they are my NOTP/BROTP, and I just. No. Let Roxy and Eggsy have their broship, pls. C. I was actually really happy to see her back as more than just a sex joke. Which I know a lot of people tried to reduce her to one in TSS, and just. No. D. Poly ships. I love me some poly ships, because I wholeheartedly believe the human heart can love more than one person, so yeah, okay Eggsy loves Tilde. Got it. Doesn’t mean he can’t still love Harry, or Merlin, or anyone else. Embrace the poly ships! I do!

So. My doubts were soothed, and I dived happily into accepting Tilde and her relationship with Eggsy. Which brings me to your concerns.

I’m going to hit the ‘drug user’ bit first. Which is a big issue, and a sticky one. Now I say this as someone who, until this year, had never touched any drugs ever. Which, I broke my record this year, once, because it’s one possible treatment for some of my health issues, and when I tried it, I just went. Eh, this does nothing, whatever, I’m good, thanks anyway. So I have no connection to drugs, or affinity for them. But I’m a firm believer in the freedom of choice, especially when it comes to a person’s own body, and one of my beliefs is that the government really needs to butt out of trying to control what people do with their own bodies. Which means I’m actually pro legalization of drugs. Which was really kind of odd/funny, because I agreed with some of the things Poppy said in the movie. Which sounds a lot worse than I mean, haha.

It’s. Kind of a point, in the movie. Poppy is, of course, a psychopath and completely in the wrong with everything she was doing, but. She wasn’t wrong about some of the things she said. Like, the commentary she makes to Charlie, re: sugar vs cocaine. It’s also kind of a big thing if you look at Fox: she argues with Not!Trump about how not all drug users are the bad criminal types people stereotypically associate with drugs. Fox makes the rather poignant point that she uses whatever it is she uses to help her get through life, because frankly, working for Not!Trump is a nightmare I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Champ makes the point too, and Ginger, when they talk about Tequila; he’s a good man, a good Statesman, he just has a bit of a wild side. Additionally, if you read the book, it very poignantly hits on the people who use drugs medicinally, to deal with things like cancer and mental health issues, but who are affected by the Blue Rash because of where they got their medicine from. And let me tell you, that was a point that hit kind of hard in my house, because none of us are neurotypical, and if our doctor prescribed it to use, marijuana could actually be a medicine for some of us. And we are, ironically, in Kentucky, not even two hours away from Louisville where the Statesman are based, and bills to legalize medicinal marijuana have been proposed here as recently as January of this year.

So what I mean by that long ass paragraph is. Being a drug user isn’t necessarily a bad thing. And that’s a point that is specifically raised in the narrative in the movie. Because yeah, Poppy is fucking batshit crazy, but her end goal of legalizing drugs? Isn’t batshit crazy. Which is why Not!Trump and Whiskey end up firmly in the Bad Guy camp, because they’re willing to condemn billions of people to death for something that’s not necessarily bad.

So does Tilde use drugs in TGC? Yes, of course, she gets the blue rash. We see her light up. Am I going to condemn her for that? No. She smokes something in a moment when she is under extreme stress and upset. That’s her choice, for her body. And that single use isn’t enough to show us if she uses it irresponsibly, or if she’s out of control with it. I’d actually assume that if she was out of control in her drug usage, Eggsy wouldn’t be with her. As he points out, he grew up in a place where drugs destroyed lives; I highly doubt he would be with someone who was destroying their life with drugs. I’ll also point out that he doesn’t actually seem concerned with her usage. He’s scared as hell that she has the disease, but he never condemns her usage or seems against it.

Alright. So the manipulating him into proposing bit. Hoo boy. I understand where you’re coming from. It was a thought I had in the theatre myself, while watching the first time. However, after a lot of thought, I don’t think that’s what’s going on here.

I’ll say flat out; I think that bit is a bit of shoddy writing. I think it was unnecessary, and that it should have logically been something Eggsy and Tilde would have already discussed, considering that honeypots are something they were trained on during training. They were told to get to know Lady Sophie biblically, remember? Which, yeah, turned out to be a ruse for the train test, but it was definitely something they were trained for.

But, the fact that I think it’s shoddy writing aside; it has been pointed out to me, when I was pondering it, that it could very likely be something they hadn’t discussed yet because their relationship, while almost a year along in TGC, had kind of a jump start with both of them suffering from. Issues. You know, being held captive, having just lost his mentor, and they kind of jumped into it headlong, and probably missed some big discussions that they should have had, but didn’t. So we’re looking at this as;

Tilde doesn’t know that honeypots are a thing Eggsy might be expected to do. Clearly, they haven’t talked about it. All she knows is that, this man that she loves, who clearly loves her, is suddenly telling her that he needs to sleep with another woman. And that’s a Big Thing to have suddenly thrown on your plate, especially when it’s a situation of “I need an answer right this moment, fate of the world depends on it.” So it’s pretty damn understandable that Tilde is thrown for a huge loop by it all. She’s shocked, surprised, and definitely feeling hurt. And here’s Eggsy, telling her he wants to spend the rest of his life with her- which in any other situation could easily be a proposal. And, in the confused, hurried, disarray of emotions she’s dealing with- she’s not pressuring him to propose, I think it’s pretty clear that she thinks that might actually be what’s happening.

So here you’ve got both of them super stressed and freaked out and confused. Eggsy’s stressed as fuck about it, doesn’t want to have sex with Clara, but is asking anyway, cause the world is kind of at stake, and he kind of accidentally almost proposes. Tilde is stressed as fuck, and hurt by this sudden request, and confused, and she thinks he might have just proposed, but she’s not sure, because wtf, and. And then Eggsy’s backpedaling, because shit, shit, shit, public figure, and fuck. (And, one of the things that I liked in the book, is that you get more of Tilde’s POV here, because she’s struggled with being the Crown Princess all her life, and now it feels like Eggsy is rejecting her because of her being the Crown Princess.) Confusion and hurt abounds on both sides of that conversation. And if you pay attention.

Eggsy says they need to sit down and Talk about this. Later. Tilde is upset, but gives a (somewhat understandably bitter) okay, and walks away for the moment. And it’s pretty clear that they’ve both made mistakes here. And that they both greatly care for each other, because otherwise they wouldn’t be that hurt.

And. Yeah. It’s this whole huge convoluted ball of fucked up emotions and mistakes and they should have talked about this already, but because writing, they hadn’t, so it all comes out fucked up and misunderstood. But I don’t see any of it as Tilde forcing Eggsy to propose. She’s thinks he has, and then surprise, no, not really, and where do they go from a misunderstanding like that?

Which leads into Tilde forcing him to be a prince/kept boy, and forcing him out of a career he loves. And. I’mma say one thing here, first off, because. Kingsman.

There ain’t no way, ‘prince’ or not, that Eggsy’s going to stop being a Kingsman. That’s definitely not the way things work in the Kingsman world. And I think Vaughn is smart enough to know we would freaking riot if he even tried that. XD I mean. We talked Harry back to life from a headshot, we can talk Eggsy into still being a spy even while being a prince, haha.

That out of the way- Tilde in no way forces Eggsy to become a prince, or a ‘kept boy.’ Let’s give Eggsy more credit than that. If he didn’t want to marry Tilde, if he didn’t want to be with her, he wouldn’t. Eggsy very clearly loves her, tells her flat out that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. And yeah, okay, becoming the future queen’s consort is probably going to cause some issues with Kingsman- but he makes that choice. Saying that Tilde forces him into it just… makes me think of the people who tried to say that Eggsy forced her to have sex with him at the end of TSS. Which, frankly, is ludicrous. At the end of TSS, Tilde is clearly very happy to propose sex with him. And at the end of TGC, Eggsy is clearly very happy to be marrying Tilde.

And that. Was a lot of tl;dr, haha. Hopefully tl;dr that makes sense, and isn’t too rambly. But. I have a hella lot of feels about this, and have put a lot of thought into it. I really love Tilde, and I have come to love her relationship with Eggsy. (And I love my poly ships that include her.) And I really would love to see more of fandom embrace her and it, but that’s of course going to be up to individual preferences. It might be some people’s NOTP, and that’s alright. I have my own NOTPs in this fandom. And you know what? I co-exist with them. I block tags and posts if I need to, and I just try not to comment on them, because live and let live. This fandom is such an open and welcoming one, and I hope it stays that way.

#Kingsman #Kingsman: The Golden Circle #Royal Eggs #Royal Hartwin #Royal Merwin #Royal Merhartwin #spoilers #Anonymous

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tayegi · 7 years

Note

Equilibrium is blowing my mind 😮😮😮 I never expected jungkook to suddenly turn into some possessive psycho jerk 😨😨 I really hope he gets his shit together. What the flying f*ck 😱😱😱 In fact It'd be cool if Jin suddenly showed up with food and The OC leaves that chaotic relationship for food 😂😂😂😂 EVRYONE WOULD PICK FOOD OVER RELATIONSHIPS. right ? Am i the only one lol *cries*

AHHHH THANK YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE FOR THEIR LOVELY ASKS!!! IT’S GOOD TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE CAN HAVE HEALTHY, NON-PROBLEMATIC REACTIONS TO GROSS, CONTROLLING MEN!

Anonymous said:Sorry for being late to the party lol, but I just read the new update of Equilibrium and I felt so fucking anxious and scared for the oc. I don't know how in the hell, some ppl find jungkook's actions hot when he is literally being psychotic and obsessive. Especially the part when he told her 'You'll regret it', he's basically threatening her there. It's obvious the whole relationship they have is toxic af and it only seems to be getting worse as time passes. Apart from that, have a nice day!

Anonymous said:OMG EQUILIBRIUM 11 Omg I still have goosebumps, like Jungkook was being so fucking possessive it scared the shit out of me. Even tho It was a shitty move for the oc to not attend his graduation, she still could had attended but that phone call... I don't want this to turn into some creepy murdering fanfic LOL. Ughhh Jungkook what is even going in your mind? I'll be looking forward to the next chapter! xx :)

Anonymous said:Dude, you did such a great job at writing o/c's anxiety in this chapter. I try not to be bias toward her, but it's really hard since the story us in her pov. I got seriously grossed out by JK, man. I was so uncomfortable with the whole morning ordeal. 😩 And his threat at the end?? I know it's a story, but I had my friend-instincts kick in and I just wanted to shake her and be like "PLEASE LEAVE THIS RN PLEASE" (1)

Anonymous said:(2) And I'm curious about how Jimin would react if he knew how JK was acting. He has this idea that JK is a perfect boy, but if only he knew...But, at the same time, they all have this distorted view of one another, huh? We see Jimin as Mr. Perfect cause that's how o/c sees him. I guess it goes into that whole "unreliable narrator" thing? I'm just writing what thoughts the chapter has provoked. I absolutely love how u pay attention to detail in this story!! Awesome job as usual, mane 😊🙆

Anonymous said:Jungkook needs to take a moment to realize how miserable and uncomfortable the OC is like my goodness. Things have gone waaaaaay downhill. Especially for the OC. Also Jungkook actions are just kind of creepy??? And just like so unhealthy. I know it can be really hard to get out of a relationship, and she still loves Jimin and all, but the OC needs to just get out of there.

Anonymous said:omg jk is becoming such a possessive creep like reading the last part gave me chills tbh. they all need to realize that this relationship is v toxic and dip out of it. i kind of expected this to become what it is from the beginning but you still added twists to it that caught me off guard, thanks for being a great writer lu

Anonymous said:oh man that last chapter. just really fucking scary.... i went back and reread the end of ch.10 to recap and it makes me wonder how far y/n's willing to go for what's "worth it" in exchange for her own personal well being. because fuck, what jungkook is exhibiting is extremely concerning. as always your writing is amazing! thank you for using your free time this way, i'm sorry people are being gross and rude. you don't deserve that kinda shit, lu :(

Anonymous said:I genuinely love how you describe the OC as a trapped bird, and seeing how Jungkook reacted to everything is actually causing me to fear for the OC's well-being. I just want her to exist the whole relationship and just hook up with sunshine, can do no wrong hobi instead of the possessive junglecock and the passive Jimin :/ just my thoughts. But you're an extremely talented writer and your PhD is more important than smutty fanfic, so take all the time you need

Anonymous said:Ok first of all what the hell at ppl asking u for quick updates cuz ive lived with phd students they literally have a never ending to do list and im so amazed at ur ability to find time to write unbelievable. U go girl. And 2ndly, the claustraphobia u mentioned that oc was feeling. That was so detailed and even i felt like i was in her place. And jk..uve characterized his possessiveness so well and i got so mad forgetting this was a fictional character i was ready to throw a chair

Anonymous said:eek jungkook is making the equilibrium relationship so unhealthy somebody punch him

Anonymous said:Jungkook makes me so uncomfortable and I can actually feel the claustrophobia that OC feels .-. Overall, really excited for the next parts and can't wait to reread to see if I can find more theories. Thanks for the new chapter!

Anonymous said:ch 11... HOLY FUCK SHE NEED TO GET OUT JK IS LOONEY!! you really know how to make a story really good dude. super excited for updates!! i'm really curious about jimin's thought process about all of this. you've given a really good insight on kook and oc but jimin is still a little hard for me to figure out, i assume that's coming soon? i feel for oc, i want to protect her and tell her she's stronger and smarter than all of this. she's worth more than all of this craziness!!! GIRL POWER!! lol

Anonymous said:Holy fucking shit everything is so messed up in equilibrium like !! I love it and at the same time i cry because of the way you describe the oc's feelings I SWEAR I CAN FEEL IT TOO HOW DO YOU DO THAT? I can feel everything, my heart is pounding so fast now. Im so into it and i just want her to run away from this toxic relationship and take care of herself first like i know she loves jimin to the core but she is more important my heart clenches at every exquisite word you writE THANK YOU SO MUCH

Anonymous said:The story is really great I love how original your writing is I don't even see the characters as Jm an jk Which allows me to see how disgusting they all let themselves be treated in the relationship, a lot of the times I feel like readers are blinded by the image of an idol it changes their perspective honestly even if it was just one person who was lying about loving the other it would still be just as horrible I'm really curious as to what's even going on and how you are going to continue it❤️

ahmie-cat said:I feel so sad for the oc in equilibrium. Jungkook don't own nobody! How dare he claim ownership on the oc! I will fight him any day! I'll fight for the oc's freedom rights. Lols, just kidding... But really all of the characters are so sad...

Anonymous said:Honestly in the earlier chapters i really liked Jungkook but now hes just scaring me. The way the OC reacts to all his actions is so relatable thats exaclty how I would feel in her situation. This is crazy I dont even know how this fic would end I love it so much

Anonymous said:I was the anon who recommended you watch wfkbj and I'm so glad you like it!! :) ALSO the latest chapter of equilibrium was so good oh my god;; it's just ramping up like tenfold and while I was reading it sometimes I just had to stop and take a breather bc of all the tension lol. Honestly I don't even know how the oc is dealing with jungkook rn bc his behavior would chill me to the very bone I would have to get out !!! Anyways as always thank you for updating

Anonymous said:ah goodness, it was autocorrect that changed jungkook to jongkook! maybe next time i'll just use jinglebook to refer to him instead thens ahahahah. "goodness gracious, jinglebook is hella possessive that i'm actually really scared for y/n :s"

Anonymous said:GIRL THANK YOU FOR UPDATING OMG IM SHAKING IN MY CHANKLAS JUNGKOOK IS SO DELUSIONAL AND I WISHED OC WOULDVE BEEN STRAIGHT UP WITH HIM AND LIKE IDK NOT MILK ON HIS CRAZYNESS IM JUST SO ANXIOUS TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT SORRY FOR TYPING IN CAPS

Anonymous said:So, uh. Equilibrium Jungkook is fucking terrifying....

Anonymous said:I hope the oc in equilibrium leaves the relationship. It's so unhealthy and I feel like she might develop some type of mental illness or just be very stressed and anxious if she continues the relationship.... It's just a fanfic, but man, i'd hate to be in her position... I feel like crying Lols. Is this what you intended?? Haha.... It's really good so far I'm looking forward to what happens next. I feel like there'll be a good moral to the story. *Fingers crossing.

Anonymous said:Damn wtf jungkook behavior is freaking me out 😳 "you'll regret it" like wtf crazy people say shit like that

Anonymous said:jkzldlzlldz TF IS HAPPENING I'M SO CONFUSED JK IS CRAZY WTF OMG

Anonymous said:the characters in equilibrium seem to have never been in an actual proper relationship so the fact that they seem to have lasted this long is by sheer miracle. It's also probably why their worst aspects are even more apparent like jk's obsessiveness (which btw yikes boy yikesss) they literally all need to walk far far away from each other cause they a mess but I do wonder who's gonna be the first to do it cause it's all so complicated now, sorry for rambling I just love this fic so much!!

Anonymous said:What the ever loving monkey fuck is wrong with Jungkook. See, i was okay with him being jealous of Jimin because that's normal. I was moderately okay with OC agreeing to Jungkook's terms because she wants to stay with Jimin. I AM NOT OKAY with his sociopathic tendencies and how obsessive he's become. I think he's mistaken OCs genuine kindness for romantic interest at one point. And the thing that scares me the most is how Jimin seems to have no idea what's going on right under his nose as well

Anonymous said:Bruhhhh jungkook is legit fucking scary but the story itself is amazing and complex im gonna reread it right now

Anonymous said:Equilibrium is getting really interesting!! I'm kinda worried tht ppl read sentences like "Even a domesticated pet needs a taste of freedom" in context with her just /looking/ at jimin and think 'oh how romantic' tho. In every scene between her and jk u can practically feel her discomfort and fear and his possessiveness and how he's abusing her. I would normally stop reading a fic like tht bc I don't like it when the ppl are written like that bc they are real after all but I'm super hooked (1/2)

Anonymous said:(2/2)now and I am also really curious as to if and how they all are gonna get out of that situation or if jk kills her before they can just bc she takes care of a literally puking-everywhere-bedridden jimin. I'm also curious how Jimin is gonna act towards y/n now that they're alone and if he even noticed the toxic stuff that's happening between her and jk or if he didn't even notice bc jk kept him "happy" (idk how else to put it) so yeah. Keep up the great work!! Have a nice day xx

Anonymous said:GURL YOU NEED TO RUN FAST AND YOU NEED TO RUN FAR. It sucks that Jimin doesn't like OC romantically, but he's just using you to stay with JK. But JK... that shit is gonna hit the roof soon soon and it ain't gonna be pretty @.@

Anonymous said:Hey Lu, thanks for taking the time to update again~ Regarding the story...Jungkook is incredibly terrifying, like I had to step away a few times as I read because I just want the reader to leave so badly. I wish she would just be like "peace out". Everyone should just leave this situation and say "peace out". Even though I know the feelings are so complicated between all of them, it's just such a shit show on fire :( . Well done on setting everything up though. The tension is insane!

Anonymous said:Ugh I honestly want to slap Jungkook so hard. Possessive little shit.. As always your writing is amazing. Thank you for the update.

Anonymous said:OC, JIMINS DICK ISNT WORTH AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP GTFO THAT SITUATION GIRL IM SCREAMING

Anonymous said:JEONS FUCKED IN THE HEAD. HE WAS CUTE AND ALL AT FIRST BUT THEN IDK GIRL, I FEEL SORRY FOR JIMIN AND OC. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHATS HAPPENING ALL I KNOW IS I LOVE THIS AND I CERTAINLY LOVE YOU! IS HE PSYCHOTIC THO? FEELS LIKE JEON WOULD KILL ANYONE WHO DARE TO TOUCH OC..

mirajoey said:MY GAWDD!! Jeon Jungkook has gone mad😱 i pray for oc's safety

Anonymous said:i am terrified by jungkook's actions and NOTHING in this whole damn world is going to excuse what he is saying and doing in equilibrium. WHERE IS YOONGI DITCH THEM ALL Y/N AND GO FOR YOONGI. and today, i have been going through some really misogynic shit today and it felt so freaking uncomfortable and i was so angry and kind of frightened...i do not know how y/n is able to act like a normal person with jungkook around who is being very possessive and psycho-like

Anonymous said:When I first saw you updated Equilibrium I almost yelled "IMMA BUST MY LEFT NUT" (I was really excited lol) and now I'm lying here in a puddle of emotion really scared for the OC lol. I adore your writing so much, thank you for writing these xx

Anonymous said:JEON YOU CREEP. Man this is all such a disaster BUT I LOVE TO WATCH THE DRAMA UNFOLD. Anyways it was a great chapter and I am so e x c i t e for the next part to start. You da best 😆

Anonymous said:This is what your writing does to people, this is literally the only time I've ever dislike Jungkook that much in a fic. I wanted the OC and Jungkook together, but now I really thing all 3 should go their separate ways. Jungkook's possessiveness is getting too much, it's too obsessive. I feel sorry for her, but at the same time her own fault as well. As for Jimin who knows he may not be as oblivious as we think ?! He is using the OC to get with Jungkook in the first place.

Anonymous said:Equilibrium OC should just pack her fckin' bags there is no happy way out of this one

Anonymous said:(1/3) Right before I read this I watched this British PSA music video about abusive relationships, where a pregnant woman was choked to death by her boyfriend as she was trying to leave him and I feel like these people who romanticize these types of relationships forgot that this actually happens IRL. This happens to real women and men and some of them don't make it out alive. And when they try to defend it by saying "it's just a story, it's not real" it's very real for some people.

Anonymous said:(2/3) And the fact that the OC is having trouble sleeping and feeling this anxiety. And the that Jungkook didn't fell any sympathy/empathy for Jimin while he was ill, it just doesn't sit well with me. And the OC isn't innocent either. So afraid to shatter what's left of the already crumbling illusion she's built up. The need to keep the fantasy of this relationship with Jimin that I'm not sure existed outside of her mind. I really do enjoy this story and how you portray the characters.

Anonymous said:(3/3) The isolated relationships between the three of them is very realistic. I've seen some of my close friends go through similar situations. And it's hard to get out once you're in.Anonymous said:I cant believe anyone in their right mind is sympathizing with Jungkook in Equilibrium?! The way he is with Y/N makes me so uncomfortable, esp with his “You’re all mine” crap and being so “in love” with her when all he wants is to have her under his control even tho he thinks it’s love. Jimin too, the way he’s down to have Y/N in the relationship since JK wants her but she wants Jimin.. also I’m glad ur fanfics exist since they can give some girls a perspective on what’s NOT okay and NOT love

Anonymous said:' And if I find out you let someone else touch what's mine... you'll regret it' - I kept on reading this over and over but each time it makes me cringe more, the fact that he constantly calls her 'mine' is so fucking off, like as a kookier Stan in rl , I felt really bad for jungkook but now I find it so hard, this relationship is taking a big twist that I did not see coming and it's getting abusive real quick.

Anonymous said:(Cont last) I stood firm in my decision. On the last day that we talked, he finally understood why. It was only then he realized his mistakes, only then did he cry & apologize for everything. He tried to convince me to give him a chance but the time for that has already passed. We are officially over. I loved the guy, you know? and deep down, I know there's good in there. But I can't risk my heart and soul anymore. I'm sorry this has gone out of topic, I just needed to get it off my chest.

Anonymous said:(Cont.) When he got mad at me for one minor thing, he will accuse me of cheating and call me demeaning words. Our relationship was always on his terms. I was always the one apologizing & making an effort to make him happy. I paid for all our dates. Just wow, I'm stupid. After a fight early Feb, I got tired of it all. I broke up with him and that process took 7 fucking days in which he tried to convince that my reasoning was wrong and that he was right. My gut feeling was telling me to leave.

Anonymous said:just finished reading ch 11... yikes. like YIKES. oh my, I'm honestly very worried and scared for the oc. reading it actually made me anxious and nervous lol. that relationship is a nightmare oh sweetie no, she needs to leave asap

Anonymous said:(Cont. Part 3) I felt caged. I always had to inform where I was, who I'm with, are there guys going to be at the event I'm going to. If there were guys, he didn't want me to go. I couldn't even get a regular update from him where he was and couldn't check on his phone. As I said, I was being stupid. I tolerated all of his bullshit. When you're in an abusive relationship, you won't realize it immediately. He'll come off sweet and only wanting to protect you and your relationship.

Anonymous said:(Cont. Part 2) to the red flags he showed early in the relationship. He didn't want to me talk to any guy who wasn't a family and asked me to delete all the guys in my Facebook account. Stupid me did so because I believed him when he said that "It's not because I don't trust you, it's because I don't trust the people around you." I stayed loyal to him but he was always paranoid that I was cheating on him. When we broke up, I learned he was talking to lots of girls that's why he was so paranoid.

Anonymous said:I got curious and read Equilibrium. All I can say is whoa! The anxiety and fear that I felt was so visceral; it made me fill ill. I've recently broken up with my ex, who was like that - subtly emotionally and mentally abusive. I am fairly young, naive, and inexperienced in relationships. I had a low self-esteem. Growing up I felt that I was unattractive and no one would like me. He was the first guy to really pursue me and I guess I was so hungry for love and affection that I turned a blind eye

Anonymous said:oc's anxiety is getting worst in equal... 😞 i hope she gets out soon. i agree, SEND IN MAMA JIN! lol kook is getting crazier each chapter i'm getting scared for her well being 😟☹️😦. SHES WORTH MORE THAN THIS CRAZINESS!! 💔 side note, thank you for sticking to it, i know it's not easy. and thank you for updating. i always look forward to your work ❤

withlove-sydney said:Tbh I was worried that this story was gonna take a disturbing turn after jk revealed that he was purposely trying to keep jimin away in chpt 10 and this chapter just confirmed how toxic he is. I agree with that other person tho I'm glad that you're the one writing this because I trust that you won't try to romanticize this at all. My ex was really possessive like jk and its not cute or sexy at all. I ended up so scared of him and when I see similar things in fics it gives me chills...

btsninetyfiveline said:I just want to say thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for the relationship you're portraying in Equilibrium! It's soooooooo important to have stories that show abuse and possessiveness in an unhealthy light! I'm so tired of these "you looked at another guy for 5 seconds in the club so now I'm gonna take you home and show you who you 'belong' to" narratives. It's so important to address and educate young girls on signs of an emotionally manipulative relationship! 💕

Anonymous said:Hi Lu :) how are you? I love how you put out your stories unexpectedly, its always a pleasant surprise. Chapter 11 is so well-written (like all your work ofc).You set up the suffocating atmosphere perfectly with images and metaphors, like Oc's suffer is so real. I am really concerned about oc's mental health... in this chapter we see that she isn't in a good place and I am scared of what is yet to come. Thank you for your hard work. xo

Anonymous said:After reading chap 11, i feel so bad for the oc. Even reading about jk's possessiveness/threats makes me feel suffocated ;-; Though I'm excited for what's going to happen after he leaves for his trip hmm.... once again thank you for the update, Lu! :-) I'm really loving the pace of the story so far.

anonymouspseudonymous said:There's this anon that said "this ain't your ordinary fic where they all compromise and be happy" and i cannot agree more. Although, even if I get it that people hate JK for being cray, you have to punch Jimin as well hahaha idk man this is fucked

Anonymous said:I'm reading ch11 of equilibrium and the part where she wants to touch jimins face but jungkook has a tight grip on her wrist restricting her from doing so is so symbolic of their relationship and how she wants jimin so badly but jungkook is holding her back from him almost keeping her hostage in a way. Anyways I really enjoyed this part it gave me goosebumps so thank you for sharing your work with us even though you don't have to! You owe us nothing so I appreciate everything you give us💓💞��💕

Anonymous said:I'm glad you don't tolerate the bullshit that jungkook isnt as bad as the protagnonist. People need to hear that that shit is toxic and manipulative. People are brainwashed into thinking it's romantic and okay. When it's absolutely not. No the protagonist isn't free of fault but she isn't being obsessively creepy.

Anonymous said:I think people tend to gloss over the fact that it IS an obsession (unhealthy and actually rather terrifying) and not actual "love" because they like the idea of someone doing anything to stay with them. But even in wanting to stay with someone, there have to be limits. You shouldn't end up losing yourself to someone if they want you as a person, not as just an object or a way to get what they want. There is a line between devotion and obsession, and people seem to ignore that all too often.

#equilibrium #beautiful ppl #jungkookfortunekookies #lu answers

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emthinks · 7 years

Text

A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas

No. No. What? No.

I don’t have thoughts. I do not comprehend. Give me a few moments (days, weeks) to gather the broken pieces of my brain. I shall be back.

Fair warning: Someone told me ACoMaF is like wrapping you in a warm, fluffy blanket and not letting go while EoS is stabbing you a thousand times with needles. I’d like to point out right now that that statement is false. ACoMaF can be a warm fuzzy blanket at first, sure, but one that slowly falls apart so just when you think you’re safe and okay, it freezes your ass off because it can’t protect you any longer. It betrays you.

Rating: 9.8/10

My Notes (as condensed from my iPad):

I start off and my first thought is: “wtf is going on?” Like, there’s a wedding? Feyre/Tamlin right? No. No. Like, five pages in and I’m reading about dresses and parties and Feyre saying how she wishes she’d one day learn to love her role as the blushing bride and all I’m hearing is no. Because Feyre is not, under any circumstances, just a pretty bride or the helpless princess. She is a warrior among her own right and should be treated as such, damn it. Wtf happened in that time gap between the end of ACoTaR and the beginning of this book? What the fuck?

And she’s not allowed to help? At all?

“Feyre Cursebreaker”. Huh. That’s new.

“I was introduced and passed around” like a fucking toy? Hell no.

“Alone in my bedroom, I realized I couldn’t remember the last time I’d truly laughed.” Jfc. Is it just me or does it sound like Feyre might be in a little – just a little – pain? Huh, Tamlin? Tamlin, who doesn’t give two shits and who doesn’t wake up when Feyre is puking her guts out every night? Wow, what a wonderful and supportive fiancé you are Tamlin. Would really want to marry you

Also, is it just me or does the first part of this where Feyre is trapped read a lot like Just Ella? Anyone ever read that? It’s about after the happily ever after of Cinderella. Except it’s not much of a happily ever after. That’s how I felt. Like this was just a really shitty happily ever after.

Also, hey, after three months Rhys finally calls in the bargain. Right during Feyre’s wedding. Good. Because Feyre sounded like she was so done with this right now. Except she’s so deep in denial, it’s kind of side. Also, like, Tamlin just gave up so easily – he just threatened Rhys a bit and called it a day. Like, no. If you really love her – if you really want Feyre – you should be fighting a little harder for your bride-to-be.

Hey! Feyre gets to learn how to read and write. “Rhysand is the best, Rhysand is awesome.” That’s hilarious. Also, Feyre is learning Occlumency. I’m literally getting flashbacks to HBP and Snape’s lessons with Harry. Fun, right?

Yes, yes, yes! We finally rescue Feyre! Yay Mor! “Not safe. Not protected. Free.” Hell yeah you are!

The Court of Dreams vs. The Court of Nightmares. Oh I love that.

Okay, idk what that whole prison scene shit was but it sounded a lot like Azkaban. But worse. Because these prisoners have been here for a long time. Also, the Bone Carve scared the shit out of me. It better not come into play later – Feyre shared one too many secrets with that asshole.

The whole Weaver scene was absolutely insane. Like, I couldn’t flip the (metaphorical) pages on my iPad fast enough. Feyre needed to get out. (Fuck you Rhys and making her fetch a ring.) Feyre has to get out. Go, go, Feyre!

Wow, this scene with Elain and Nesta went real well, didn’t it? Nesta, wtf? I thought you were supposed to be on our side?

Also, the Feysand training is basically Rowaelin training. Fae mates are just merciless, aren’t they?

The Summer Court bit was fun. A nice break. I like Tarquin. Tarquin is our friend. Also, going down to get the Book, I knew shit was going to go to pieces. There’s no way they’d make it that easy for us. And guess what? I was right

Wow, the mortal queens are assholes. Willing to abandon the island to save the continent. Fuck them.

Also is it just me or did the sex scenes read like fanfics? I’m not complaining, per say, just finding it…odd. Very well-written fics, but…fics nonetheless. Basically, what I’m saying is that Sarah J Maas’s original stories read like my favorite fanfics/authors and you don’t understand how ecstatic I am about that.

Like that throne room scene in the Court of Nightmares? Literally the sexual tension was through the fucking roof. It got so heated. Was expecting they start banging right there in front of everyone.

I mean, so were the cabin scenes, I guess, but that throne room. JFC. Combustion. I was in public reading this on iBooks on my phone and I was like so worried people would take the words out of context. That would've been awkward

Starfall scene was wonderful and beautiful and fluffy and feels

Okay, that journey to the Illyrian camp could’ve gone a lot better. Like, I thought everything was okay, right? And then Feysand go into the mountains to train. And who shows up but Lucien? Like, still convinced Feyre is brainwashed and here to “rescue” her.

And if that wasn’t enough, basically immediately after, we get Rhysand super injured because some assholes just shot him with ash arrows? Like, no. It’s Hybern. Ofc. Fuck them.

Okay, love how whenever Feyre has a question/problem, she just goes and traps the Suriel

They’re mates! Yes! I knew it! Thanks Suriel!

Okay, Feyre, wtf? Why you running away into a secluded cabin? All Rhys wanted to do was protect you.

But lol, Mor telling Feyre to paint her eyes next to Amren’s so they can all judge the boys is great. I love it.

Finally, finally Feyre just accepts it. God, you’ve been family for ages already jfc just accept it and can we move on please?

Okay, Rhys talking about he was dreaming about Feyre for years, even when she was mortal, and how she was all that kept him sane Under the Mountain was just heartbreaking

THEY SHOWED THEM VELARIS AND THEN THEY WERE ATTACKED

I know the nice queen warned them not to trust the other queens, but seriously? Velaris?! The only beautiful thing left in this fucked up continent? You assholes

��So I won my wedding ring without even being asked if I wanted to marry you.” Wow. Figures it would go something like this.

So the whole “let's go destroy the Cauldron” part sounded sketchy from start to finish lbr, so I was just waiting for something to go wrong

I just didn't anticipate it to be that wrong

First Feyre puts the Books together. Which. Idiot

Then Jurian shows up. I'm not particularly sure his storyline (am still confused about his history) to tell us that he's just been sent here to distract us

And then they shoot Azriel. And all I'm thinking is “Fuck they WOULD target Azriel”

And so they can't do shit. The most powerful people ever, Feyre with all seven court lords’ powers, Rhysand as the most powerful High Lord, Cassian as a ridiculously powerful Illyrian, Mor who was auctioned off as a bride because of her power – none of them could live a god damned finger. And I was SO worried

And then fucking TAMLIN AND LUCIEN STEP THROUGH

HELLS NO

I have to be reading this wrong. <Goes back to reread last line of last chapter> Fuck. No.

Fucking Tamlin is delusional and Lucien’s loyalties are ridiculous and you literally just let the dude who wants to destroy the whole world in through your backyard so it'll be easier for him to destroy your world, and all for what?

But noooo, we’re not done yet. The mortal queens show up

And we learn they've given up their whole world to be made immortal. Like, what?

And then we’re thoroughly fucked because Feyre’s sisters get dragged in

We learn that the King of Hybern can use the Cauldron to turn mortals immortal. And Nesta and Elain are the test subjects

(Keep in mind that I am reading this whole ending, starting from like right before they reach the Cauldron, in line at lunch. In public. And I couldn't scream or flail and it was torture)

Cassian’s WINGS. Omg I almost forgot. Cass no. He'd rather have death than not be able to fly Cass NO

I almost lost it - would've started crying had I not been in public – when they made Elain go first.

Elain comes out Fae, which, yay? At least she’s not dead. And she's immortal now

Nesta goes down, kicking and screaming and cursing the King of Hybern. And that line – that line of “I knew something was different”, I nearly knocked into somebody in line before me because I was so worried it would say she was dead

But she wasn't. Thank the Cauldron. Actually, fuck the Cauldron

But we’re not done yet. Not even close.

Because Feyre starts to say she's willing to do anything – give up anything – to those she loves. To save her sister. And – oh no – a feeling of dread starts to build up…

Feyre fucking manages to convince everyone that she was indeed under Rhysand’s spell and she's in love with Tamlin again. Like, no Feyre.

And if that wasn't enough, fucking Feyre asks – asks – the King of Hybern to break their bond. NO NO NO. We just spent like five hundred pages trying to make the bond are you ducking kidding me?

It happens anyways. And we’re sobbing right alongside Feyre. As she returns to the Spring Court with Tamlin and Lucien

And then we get a Rhysand PoV. And we learn that LOL actually, the mating bond wasn't cleaved. Just the whole bargain one. And also, LOL, Feyre can now be a spy for us. And also, LOL, we got married last night. And also, LOL, I made her the High Lady of the Night Court so fuck y'all fuckers

Tbh, that one Rhysand PoV at the end was my saving grace. I don't think I foul would've been as soothing if we heard it just from Feyre. I needed to have known that Rhysand was on board too, that this was what we had to go with

I mean, I'm still not actually happy with the ending, but it's (spoiler alert: EoS) still one hell of a better ending than EoS. Fml #savefeyre

“When you spend so long trapped in the darkness, Lucien, you find that the darkness begins to stare back.” – Feyre Archeron

The Characters:

One thing that I really loved about this second book was that we really got to see how Feyre grew, as a character and as a person and how she learned to fight. Like in the beginning, she was so helpless – or, rather, she thought she was helpless and should just subject herself to Tamlin locking her up, but then she runs away and starts training with Rhysand and it gets so much better. But not immediately, because that would be unrealistic. Instead, Feyre slowly learns about her abilities and what she can do with the powers of all seven High Lords, and it’s a slow process. Especially in the beginning. She has no control – she’s just been made High Fae, so it’s understandable. But to read about the trials and error she undergoes, how she learns how to winnow and how she works on her water abilities in the Summer Court because she’s near Tarquin and how she finally gets over Tamlin (mostly) and shapeshifts and it’s great. It really is. Feyre has become a bamf and I can’t wait to see what she can do – what she will do – now that she’s an official spy in Tamlin’s Court. She’s no longer going to be held down, locked up. Not anymore. Not this High Fae Feyre. Not the High Lady of the Night Court. No, if you upset Feyre – if you get on her bad side – you better pray to whatever god or Cauldron you believe in that she leaves and piece of you behind when she’s finished. She can defend herself now, fight for her own rights, and I think that’s so important.

Rhysand is not an asshole. What do you know? Well, I never thought he was a complete asshole, even in ACoTaR, because he was just subjecting himself to Amarantha Under the Mountain to protect his people, after all. But then in ACoMaF, we learn just how far he’s willing to go for his people. To protect Velaris. And honestly, Velaris is like a fucking dream. It’s beautiful. Who wouldn’t want to protect this city? And we learn Rhys has sacrificed so much of himself for others, to make those he love happy, to make sure his friends weren’t Under the Mountain and even initially giving up on Feyre because he just wanted her to be happy, even though if it meant if he’d be suffering for all of eternity. Like, Rhys, when have you ever done something nice for yourself? You should. When this trilogy ends, you better treat yourself good. I mean it. That’s an order.

Cassian is amazing. He’s so entertaining and fun and I love him. He’s like the jokester of the group. Except after hearing his backstory, you start to wonder why he’s the jokester. Why he’s so goddamned happy all the time and – more importantly – how? Like, Cassian’s childhood was shit. Azriel at least knew he was special and Rhys. I mean, with Rhys, everyone knew he was the child of the High Lord of the Night Court and thus his powers were through the roof, even if he was training with everyone else. But with Cassian. Oh poor Cassian. I felt so bad because Cassian was just a regular guy who just wanted to prove his worth but wasn’t allowed to and he had to go through so much and he deserves all the happiness he gets right now and and and his wings! I almost screamed when I read about his wings being burned off (or ripped?) and I can’t. He has to be fine. They have to be fine. They said an Illyrian warrior would rather die than not be able to fly, and I don’t know about you, but I can’t have Cassian dying on me. Nope. That’s not going to happen so you better buck up and get those wings fixed mister before I even get to ACoWaR.

Mor is Nehemia. But more badass. Like Nehemia fought with words and subtly, while Mor was in your face and you had to defend from that. Mor is great. I really wish Feyre had bonded with Mor more. (Wow, “Mor more”. That sounds weird even in my head while I’m writing it.)

Unlike Mor, I didn't know what to think of Amren for a while. She seemed okay. She's Rhys’ second in command so she had to be a good person, and capable. And then we learn more about her. About how she's not of this world – of how she's so fucking powerful, she's currently on a leash. (Rhys mentioned at one point to Feyre that if all else fails, he’ll find a way to unleash her powers on the world and kill himself first.) And she drinks blood. Which I did immediately think when Feyre saw her not eating, but I thought that would be too Twilight-esque. Apparently not. Still, she's not a vampire so I'm not particularly sure what she is. I want to know. I want to know what Amren really is, and I want to see her going full out and ravaging the King of Hybern. That would be a sight to behold.

Azriel is my kind of guy. He's silent but he's always present and he's so damn good at his job, it bothers him when he can't accomplish shit immediately. He's like always on call and he's just as capable as everyone else in the Inner Circle and it’s wonderful.,

Tarquin is freaking awesome. I really liked him. I didn’t think I would. But he was an idealist, a young High Lord, and he was like Rhysand. Except not as cunning. I think he would make a wonderful ally. And I think, if we just explain the situation to him, we could get him on our side, making him understand why we needed the Book. Also, side note, Tarquin sends giant rubies personally engraved as a sign of aggression. Like, sign me up please! Where can I get some of those?

Tamlin is a fucking bastard. There’s no nice way to put it. Tamlin is a bastard and I can’t believe I liked him before. Jfc. Did you have to ruin everything, Tamlin? Everything. He ruined literally everything. And for what? A woman who no longer loves you because you had locked her up, didn’t listen to her. A woman you didn’t treat as your equal. And you wonder why she wanted to escape so badly from you? Why she’s still secretly escaping? You are delusional and you are an idiot and I really hope you come back to us (because you’re hot) because otherwise, you’re going straight to hell, a grave right alongside the King of Hybern and Ianthe and Jurian.

Lucien is honestly not much better. Could be worse. Still doesn’t question Tamlin. Still doesn’t try to fight him. He knows Feyre is wasting away. He knows Tamlin is doing some dumbass shit. He knows. He has to know that Tamlin making that god damned bargain with the King of Hybern was the stupidest thing he could’ve ever done, but did I see him do anything? Nope. Just sobbing over a once-human mate. You’ll get what’s coming to you, Lucien, unless you convert too. I’m sorry, but I really have no pity for you. You’re not dumb, Lucien, nor blinded by love, like Tamlin can claim, so I don’t really understand why you aren’t protesting more – your protested more in ACoTaR when Tamlin wouldn’t tell you shit about the curse! Jfc Lucien I know you can do more, so I better see you step up your game, talk to Feyre, otherwise if she leaves you behind, I won’t protest.

With Ianthe, I really should've seen it coming. Because she was just such a randomly introduce character whom we had no background for, unlike Lucien, so we couldn't even see if she was semi-decent and she's complying with Tamlin’s every wish and ignoring Feyre and dressing her up and not an actually friend. One thing I'm glad this book did is teach Feyre who actual friends are and what they'd do for each other. Aka. The Inner Circle and not Ianthe.

“The issue isn’t whether he loved you, it’s how much. Too much. Love can be a poison.” – Rhysand

The Ships:

Feysand (Feyre/Rhysand): Is beautiful. They’re mates. I knew it! I predicted it ever since Rhys’ eyes went wide Under the Mountain. That parting scene. And it’s everything and more that I could want from them. Really.

Azriel/Mor: Is the saddest relationship ever. I don’t mean sad like Tamlin/Feyre said (that’s just messed up) or sad like there’s no chemistry. I mean sad like why the fuck haven’t they fucked yet? Like, Azriel doesn’t think he’s good enough or something, and I guess Mor thinks the same, because of what she had to undergo as a powerful woman born in the Court of Nightmares. Like, no. Literally, “Azriel would likely love Mor until he was a whisper of darkness between the stars” should not be the best quote about your relationship. Please fix this. Please. Someone, anyone. Feyre? Rhysand? Amren? Cassian?

Nestian (Nesta/Cassian): it’s not just me, right? Like, this is an actual thing? I think they’re mates. I also think they’re going to tear each other apart before they admit that, but hey, it’s Nesta and Cassian. That wouldn’t be surprising at all.

Elucien (Elain/Lucien): These two are actually mates. And honestly, I think this could work out really well. Or really badly. Like, Elain is the one who was engaged to an anti-faerie guy, but Elain is also a lot nicer. A lot less strong-willed than Nesta. So as long as Lucien isn’t an ass – which, honestly, he seemed just shocked – we should all be good with this pair. They seem like they’ll be cute.

Tamlin/Feyre: Is someone seriously still questioning the shipping dilemna? There isn’t. Tamlin is an ass and it’s Feysand all the way and if you aren’t Feysand that’s some fucked up relationship you’re behind right there. I’m not about that shit, sorry not sorry.

“I was his and he was mine, and we were the beginning and middle and end. We were a song that had been sung from the very first ember of light in the world.” – Feyre Archeron

My Questions:

Just what are the limits of Feyre’s powers?

Like, she has the power of all seven courts, all seven High Lords. Does she have a limit? I want to see her go full out. The Cauldron was practically singing to her. She would tear the whole god damned world apart if she mastered all seven courts. And it would be glorious to watch her do so.

Wtf happened when Nesta went into the Cauldron?

Like, Feyre said that with Nesta (in comparison to Elain) it was different. Did Nesta get more powers? Was Nesta’s grudge against the King of Hybern going to come into play.

Wtf is Amren?

I really want to know what Amren is. To see the full extent of her powers. Because she will decimate her opponents, especially without whatever leash holding her back that Rhys casually mentioned that one time. I want to see her go to town on the King of Hybern. She better. It’s the least she can do, after everything her friends have gone through.

“No one was my master – but I might be master of everything if I wished. If I dared.” – Feyre Archeron

My hopes/predictions for the future:

I finally get what #savefeyre means

And I wholeheartedly agree

Yes, she’s a spy, but she’s also your mate Rhysand. Go and get her back god damn it.

Also, it might be stupid and naïve of me, but I’m still holding out hope that Tamlin joins them.

I have slightly higher hopes that Lucien will understand. Or at least work with them (Feyre, mostly) because his mate has been taken. But I think Lucien understands and can sympathize better with Feyre in general, so I have higher hopes that he’ll really join their forces and work with Rhysand and see that the Night Court isn’t just a bunch of assholes

Oh, that’s another thing I want to happen: people seeing the Night Court as it truly is – a split between the Court of Nightmares and the Court of Dreams. People being able to see – and appreciate – Velaris (fuck those mortal queens. Fuck those bitches to hell. I’m with you on that Feyre)

Although, the Court of Nightmares does exist still, so I really hope that after everything is said and done and the King of Hybern and fucking Ianthe, that bitch, and the mortal queens and Jurian and everyone is disposed and taken care of that we can go back with Mor and Cassian and Azriel and sack the god damned place. And return the wonderful treatment Mor received during her time as a female in that underground

Another thing: Amren. Amren and her power. I really want to see what the fuck she can do – what her limits are

And Nesta and Elain! I want them to fight alongside Feyre & co. That would be ideal. And drag along Lucien.

“To the stars who listen – and the dreams that are answered.” – Rhysand

#emthinks #emthinks books #sarah j maas #sjm #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury #acomaf

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