#anyways this was my favorite part look at the sadness in SHs eyes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hospitalterrorizer · 7 months

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diary29

10/3-4/2023

nothing much. we'll cover all the rugs with cheap perfume.

nothing much happened today, i recorded little pieces for 2 songs, i got to do the super noisy stuff i wanted to do for the remaster of the single i put out, plus i added some screaming, and i added new vocal layers/replaced some/removed some for the next single. that's exciting, i think now the kicks are too loud in that song, and maybe i could bring the bass up a touch.

so much of this is like, touch and go, tomorrow i don't know what i'm gonna do, probably one of the new short songs, and then, i guess i'll see about one of the songs that i think needs a lot of work re: guitars and just throw vocals onto that to try, since i have them written.

my gf wants to go to another drag thing tomorrow so i need to be up earlier and stuff, today we're going to see a queen who almost won last season of rupaul's. it feels strange talking about it, because only from her has it leaked into my life. or i dunno. leak in makes it sound negative, when you live with someone, your interests get all over each other. i think i'm quieter about my stuff, so it's like, only sometimes i talk about whatever, but there's stuff that's just always involved with me that's probably been passed off to her and i don't even realize really. i think i basically like that she's exposed me to drag race so much because it is funny, it's just weird because it's demonstrably kind of commodified a whole part of queer history, and rupaul was there for it, which makes it more complex. looking at old drag magazines and stuff, the definitions were a lot blurrier, they were host to a lot of people who did want to transition essentially, and then people who were like "i'm whatever" also (and in film too you can see this, where it's a blurry undefined thing (meaning what anyone is (thinking in particular about funeral parade of roses (you can see in my eye makeup that i draw my lashes on cuz of that movie)))). it's not that this blurriness every went away or something but there's more lines separating what things are what is for who and so on. maybe that's because i've just been put in a box myself, by the people i've been sorted into being around online (this sounds miserable over it or something, all i am lamenting is maybe a lack of perspective) make greater efforts to delineate and say, over there is that type of person, over here we stand, when there's blurriness, it's different, and so on. it's a frustrating thing, whatever the case.

it's also weird because rupaul basically sucks, but i think it's kind of great, some seasons of the show, it's essentially takeshi's castle for drag queens, it's totally psychotic at points. i'm kind of sad my gf caught up because hearing about what goes on in the show (i couldn't see at a certain point really because he speakers got fucked up somehow and we don't know what to do other than buy new ones at some point) was genuinely super fun/made me happy.

anyways i think my favorite queen was probably alaska . probably an annoying pick but she is kind of a skinny legend.

i didn't read today, but, i dunno, i'm dumb i guess, i feel really stupid, kind of, i dunno. i always worry about being really an idiot.

so i guess, coming off of the feeling like an idiot, to feel more like an idiot, one thing i'm excited about is this one guy's tradition every year of playing a silent hill game on his yt channel, and this year he's gotten to something truly awful, homecoming. i don't know why i'm so excited for that, it's been years since i've seen anyone play that game in full, since i was a kid, back then even i was mega obsessed with the other sh games, but i also had no real sense of quality, so it had cool creatures that were mottled flesh and vaguely tortured, and familial discomfiture, that at least spoke to me, nothing on the level of all of sh1, 2 and 3, but it was like, a strange update on it all and that connected even at the time. what i'm seeing now, is i how strangely it reflected a pretty exact atmosphere of the time, the directing of cutscenes is, much more than anything else, inflicted with so much bullshit prestige tv runoff but directed wrong, and also, saw. the game is so saw, to the point of not understanding anything about sh really beyond few moments, which makes it fascinating. there's this part where alex is in a fucked up elevator and it squeals and shakes and stuff, awful noises are issued, and a huge knife comes through the door and kills him, final destination shit. it's like the game missed the parts of fire walk with me that featured totally broken quotidian things, the eruption of the faulting and failing into daily life, the wailing elevator isn't a horror device, it's simply real life magnified, ending it with a death like that destroys its ability to refer to the tiniest, most forgettable wounds in our daily life, the fear at a world at the edge of not working constantly, and a world that's hostile not because of unseen forces, but because of what we see, its regular operation unmasked as abject/grotesque, or not even unmasked, felt and expressed. so the game fails to be about america in all the subtle ways silent hill was originally (thinking about the billboard in sh2 that says "your ad here" in the sequence where you go to the historical society thru the town). it also misses all the ero-guro art connections and all the game's love affairs w/ the surrealists (bacon + bellmer an obv example but i'd say, sincerely, the first 3/4 end up having artaud and bataille in them, if only by receiving them thru ero guro artist interpretations of those works). instead it trades all that in for a baffling emphasis on wanting to be like the tv show lost (another legendarily bad game was cut from this same cloth, that reboot of alone in the dark). anyways sorting through all this is a joy for me a bit, and also, the ways the game feels like it hits on something meaningful (its posing of regular american christianity as a cult (the games prior do this too but this one feels really so on the nose, but that produces an interesting effect)) or even insightful, it feels like steps away from being a game about evangelical rapture panic and preppers or something. instead it trades in undercurrents in mass culture for attempts at the personal that fail, because it doesn't seem interested in its characters really. it's also such a dude-ist game, the nurses and the military stuff, so weird.

anyways that person who does that yearly is supergreatfriend. i don't know why i like his stuff so much. maybe it's because he's the only guy on yt with a playthru of illbleed that's any good. i love that game, it's also kind of genius. i miss how freely abject horror games used to be, not just gory or scary, but abject, where everything is exaggerated and filthy, not because like, that's scary, but because that's how you feel in a supermarket or mall or hospital for real or something, pr thinking of rule of rose, that's how social reality felt, that cruel and perverse. the exaggeration is only a tool to get you back there, in memory, again. it feels largely gone, maybe because the hd era prevents that level of exaggeration sitting beside "realism" like it used to be able. i dunno. the cheap and trash-like was so much more palpably present in those old games, for me at least, the stuff that for regular operation, had to be ignored, despite its constant presence, facts of life left to anterooms in your head, thoughts forced into being dead ends or whatever. i'd love to figure out why everything feels so much cleaner now. beyond how it's achieved, the cleanliness, i mean in particular why people decided against what was. it felt perfectly capable of approaching what actually unsettled us and prodding us towards reconciliation (not redemption, if anything, an embrace of these horrors/ embrace of the fact of horror, and then the turn away from the sanitary).

everything i like is like that, like books and stuff, i'm always on about that when you let me, but it's october, so i'm allowed, right. well i'll just keep doing it forever i guess, cuz i'm a broken record.

it's just so pretty to me. like yes, my life does feel like spirit halloween all the time, total dirty vomitrocity.

and stuff like this is just unbelievable i think.

this got me on flickr looking at hans bellmer stuff, rarer scans i've not got and also other stuff people tagged as related. i found quite an insane doll artist on there, who took some of the most uncanny photos ever it seems like.

i would like to use these somehow, in something, they're too evocative to not i think. the smudgy digital photography and the near-human figures, it's just so near my heart/how i feel.

anyways i'm stupid , stupid tired. i accidentally typed tied, instead of tied.

anyways, byebye!!

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ihyuni · 3 years

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Give me... just a bit more time.

#kim seo hyung #tvn mine #kdramaedit #kdrama #마인 #idc idc listen miss antigay but gay for pay did her job #she was crying and clinging like they've been lovers since 1942 sksksks #anyways this was my favorite part look at the sadness in SHs eyes #*DEEEEEEEEEP SIGH*#*me begins to write 50 page fanfic in my head where they run away together*#*also write me writing mental fic where they eventually meet again after a long time but Suzy is sick so it's just screams PAIN lololol*#I love it here.

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ducky-died-inside · 2 years

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Pompeii Part 2: Carlos Angst

Summary: Carlos grieves your and Camilo's deaths....

Genre: Angst

Notes: Sequel to Pompeii

Warnings: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, ANGSTY, MENTIONS OF DEATH, BLOOD, YELLING, CRYING

Part 1 Part 2 (here) Part 3 Part 4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlos didn't care anymore. He didn't care if the Casita wouldn't let him in. He would get in anyway. He ran against the wall on the door and made it fall over. He saw Mirabel holding the candle, tears flooding her eyes. She couldn't talk or meet Carlos in the eyes, so he walked past her and called out for you and Camilo. The rest of the family flooded in and started calling your names.

Carlos tuned them out and just kept looking, desperately. He turned around after ha had searched the whole back of Casita. He didn't think you'd be back there, but he didn't want to leave any place untouched. He worked his way to the front, looking everywhere.

He eventually made it to the rest of the family where they had already found you. He couldn't see you with his family huddled around you both.

"Hey, what's over there? What's going on? Did you find them?"

Pepa turned around at the sound of Carlos' voice. Tears flooded her eyes as she looked to her remaining triplet. She rushed over to hug him and wouldn't let him see you two.

"Oh, mi Carlito"

His mothers voice was tender as she didn't let him go.

"Can I see them?"

Pepa shook her head.

"I don't think that's smart..."

Félix pulled Pepa away from Carlos.

"He needs to see, mi vida. They were the closest to him."

She nodded and sobbed into Félix's shoulder.

Carlos nearly threw up when he saw you two. There was blood running down Camilo's face, small rocks having broken the skin on his face. It looked like Camilo had more freckles, but they were big and red.

You weren't much better. In fact, you were worse. In collapsing onto Camilo, you saved him from a lot of damage, but caused a lot of damage to yourself. Your neck had snapped when the ruins came down on you. Your ruana was seeped with blood from your back. It was peppered with holes from more rocks that had gone through and broken your skin.

Camilo stirred slightly and Carlos looked to him with hope.

"Camilo? Are you alright?"

"Not necessarily. How about Y/N, is she alright?"

Camilo coughed up some blood, his voice weak. Carlos shook his head in sadness.

"No, sh-she's dead. I thought you were too, but then you woke up."

Camilo coughed again and looked to Carlos with a sad twinkle in his eyes as he realized he was leaving too. He gave his brother a weak smile.

"Heh. Car-los, I guess I was ri-right. I was having a mid-life crisis....."

Camilo's voice drifted off as his eyes darkened.

"Nonononono! Camilo! You idiota! Of course you would make a joke as you died! You were ok! You can't leave me! You can't leave me alone!"

Carlos closed Camilo's eyes, a teasing smile still on Camilo's face.and held you both. He didn't care about the blood. He just wanted you and Camilo back. He was there for two hours before Félix could take him away from your bodies. Mirabel couldn't look him in the eye, knowing that it was partially her fault that you had died.

Carlos hugged his papi tight as he was taken away from the two other parts of his whole. Tears were pouring down his face. His family stared back at him, worry in their faces. Agustín finally had the courage to speak.

"Carlos? Are you ok?"

He looked up and felt a stress laugh build up in his chest.

"Does it really seem like the appropriate time to ask if I'm ok, Tio?! My two favorite people in the world are gone, I feel like I'm going insane, I wish that I was dead with them so that I wouldn't be alone! I'm not going to be able to do anything else in life with them! They're fricking gone! We weren't even 16 yet!"

His voice broke as he yelled. The contrast was almost deafening as he whispered his next sentences.

"They had so much life left. We were going to do so much together. Now, we can't. Now they won't do anything ever again. Y/N will never get her first boyfriend, Camilo will never get married and raise his kids, and I'll just be here, alone, the triplet of two dead kids."

No one was able to speak for a good 5 minutes. Carlos had gone back to where he left you two, but found nothing. Someone had come to move you guys while Carlos wasn't holding you. He walked back over to the adults.

"Who moved them?"

If voices could kill.....

The adults all looked back at him.

"Who moved them?"

"We moved them."

His sister and cousins appeared behind him.

"What?"

Isabela cleared her throat as Carlos turned around, fire in his eyes.

"I said, we moved them."

"Why?!"

"They were just laying on the ground, Carlos! I didn't think that you would want them there. Besides, we didn't want to make Antonio worry."

"OH SURE, YOU DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE ANTONIO WORRIED! SCREW ANTONIO! HE IS NOT THE ONE WHO SEPNT 15 YEARS OF HIS LIFE WITH THEM! HE WON'T EVEN REMEMBER THEM! ASK HIM IN 10 YEARS WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE AND HE WILL STRUGGLE TO PUT A NAME TO A FACE! HE WON'T KNOW WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE WITHOUT A PICTURE!"

He breathed heavily, his tears hitting the ground. Mirabel tried to approach him, he shied away from her.

"Carlos, please. I understand."

He turned back to look her in the eyes.

"Really, Mirabel? You want to say that you understand? You want to look me in the eyes and say that you understand? No one here understands this pain. Sure, Tio Bruno left, but Mami and Tia Julieta still had each other. They weren't the unwanted triplet. They were still loved and adored by the town. But me? The town doesn't want me. They want Y/N and Camilo. Not me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlos' voice broke as he spoke. He noticed everyone flinch at the mention of Bruno. He also saw that everyone froze in shock at his words. He saw his opportunity and took it. He turned away from his family and ran while they were still in shock at his words.

He kept running until he came to a clearing. It was a place he had never gone to before. It was behind the mountains by a river. The river was covered in colors and the sound helped soothe him. He sat down and pulled a picture out if his pocket. It was a picture of the three of you taken that summer. It showed you in the middle, holding your brothers by the shoulders. Camilo was giving you bunny ears while Carlos was folding his arms and smirking. Carlos held the picture tight in his hands, almost ripping it. He had a flashback to what Camilo mentioned when he died.

"Carlos, Y/N. I think I'm going through a mid-life crisis."

Carlos rolled his eyes at his brother.

"Camilo, we're seven and a half."

"I might die at fifteen!"

Oh, the irony. In a fit of sadness and anger, he used his nail and stabbed it through your and Camilo's faces. He didn't want to be reminded of his triplets anymore. He set the picture down and sobbed.

He held his knees close to his body and buried his head into them. He heard footsteps behind him and turned around to see Mirabel. He whipped his head back towards the river, not wanting to talk to anyone. She cautiously approached him until she saw the picture. She felt her heart break at the sight. She sat down next to Carlos and he broke. He cried into her shoulder.

"Why them? I don't know who I would choose instead of them, but why them? They were so young. We were so young. I don't know what to do without them."

"I don't know. I'm sorry. I realize that I don't understand this, and that is was partially my fault. If I had just left the stupid candle...."

Carlos just sobbed. He clutched Mirabel's shoulder and wouldn't let go. After a few minutes she picked him up and carried him over to the family. He was lighter than she thought he was, his thin frame shaking with sobs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlos didn't sleep that night. He was at the house of one of the townspeople. He didn't know who, but this was where his family was staying. They had volunteered their home to the Madrigals until they could rebuild. He wished that you Camilo were there with him. You both always knew when he was sad and always knew what to do to help him.

He left the house, and sat on the porch. It was a warm night, but the fact that you were dead sunk in deep and chilled him deep to the bone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @dai-tsukki-desu , @hiroyuki27 , @alexaizawa , @camilolovesroxiie , @katethecraziest , @merymikey , @kailoveswom3n

Ask to be added to romantic or platonic taglist! Please Specify so I can keep them separate!

#Spotify #camilo #camilo madrigal x reader #encanto #carlos madrigal #carlos madrigal x reader #triplet au #carlos angst #I'm so sorry

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goldengoddess · 3 years

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fake dating with jesper fahey

request: would you be willing to do a jesper x reader fake dating for heist purposes 👀 i’m a sucker for the trope and my boy

a/n: YES oh my god my favorite trope and my favourite boy! i did it in one shot form because i think its better<3 i got a lil carried away with this one

warnings: some quick heist violence, flirty comments, nothing too intense

“no,” you said to kaz, “absolutely not.”

he rolled his eyes and gave you a hard glare. “frankly y/n i’m not asking.”

you gripped the table tighter. you had not signed up for this. you were promised a couple of easy jobs with the dregs to get out of some trouble. a year, tops, of working under kaz brekker. that year had turned into two and now you didn’t know if you would ever leave.

but you hadn’t signed up for this.

you looked up at jesper. he twisted one of the rings on his finger and looked directly at kaz.

“you’re okay with this?” you asked him.

jesper made eyes contact with you and something in your stomach fluttered. it was unfair how breathtaking his eyes were.

“it’s just a job y/n. we get in there, talk to the mark, get our information and leave. yeah, this ones a lot messier with a lot more chance of getting caught but it’s just another job. ”

he didn’t sound too sure himself.

“except this time we’re going to have to pretend to date.” you mumbled, gathering up your things.

jesper chuckled and leaned closer to you, teasingly. “aw cmon, no need to act so disappointed i know it’s all you’ve been dreaming about since we met.”

you scoffed but felt the heat on your cheeks anyways.

kaz rolled his eyes, “save the flirting for the undercover work, yeah? y/n i’ve left you’re outfit in your room. meet outside the club at eleven bells.”

jesper followed kaz out of the room, giving you a quick wink.

oh it was going to be a long long night.

---------

you leaned against the wall of the club you and jesper would be in tonight.

you were dressed in an outfit that was too tight and too revealing and if this were any other occasion you would feel amazing in. but this wasn’t some other occasion, this was a job.

part of you wanted to pretend this was something else. that you and jesper were just two normal people who liked each other and wanted to go out on a date drinking.

but no. you and jesper were co workers who relied on the safety and money of kaz brekker. you were on a fake date, you were a fake couple.

the truth was, your feelings for jesper were anything but fake. the sharpshooter had you head over heels with one small smirk the day you met him.

but jesper’s ego didn’t need your confession of your feelings and you didn’t need a ruined friendship, so you kept your mouth shut.

but this job seemed impossible. it would be totally impossible for you to keep your cool as jesper pretended to be madly in love with you.

speak of the devil, you thought as jesper strutted towards you.

“ah love, you didn’t even give me a chance to pick you up. i’m a gentleman you have to let me show it to you” he joked and wrapped his arm around your waist.

you let out a breath and rolled your eyes, “let’s just get this over with.”

“i can see how eager you are to go out with me angel face” jesper said.

the two of you stepped into the club, the music was loud and people were pressed up against each other.

jesper led you to one of the tables close to the corner but not too far from the real action of the club.

he pulled out on chair and took a seat. you made a move to pull out another but jesper grabbed you by the arm and pulled you down onto his lap.

“gotta make it look real” he whispered into your ear.

you let out a huff and wiggled to get comfortable on his chair.

he laughed, “cmon, cant even pretend to like me? i know you do, just admit it you can’t resist this handsome face.”

you tried to laugh along, knowing he was only messing around with you.

but your heart was hammering in your chest and you could feel jesper’s breath tickling your neck.

if one of the guys in here that wanted to kill you and your team didn’t take you out tonight, a heart attack caused by jesper fahey’s beautiful scent just might.

the man you two had to talk to was standing near the bar, scanning the club. you quickly angled your body so you faced jesper more fully and started running your fingers through his hair.

“what are you doing?” he asked in an amused voice.

“he’s watching” you mumbled, “gotta make it look believable.” saints, how was his hair so nice?

jesper closed his eyes and leaned into your touch. he let out a soft hum of pleasure and you swore you would do anything to be the only one to hear that sound forever.

but before you had the chance to contemplate that, reality struck.

“he’s coming over” you warned jesper as you saw the man the two of you needed to get some information from walking towards your table. you moved your hands onto your lap and moved so your back was pressed to jesper’s chest.

jesper’s grip on your hips tightened and you tried to give him a reassuring smile, everything was going to be fine right?

“remember, you’re madly in love with me” he whispered right before the man sat down in front of the two of you.

oh how right you were jesper

“oh look what a happy couple, the two of you look great together” the man in front of you said.

you let out a giggle and leaned into jespers body, “thank you.”

“how long have the two of you been together?”

“a couple of years,” jesper answered naturally, “she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

the world felt so genuine that you felt your body sway from surprise, but you quickly regained your composure.

“what about you, any special person in your life?” you mused, trying to learn more about this man.

he shook his head, “i haven’t been so lucky as the two of you have. tell me, what is your favorite thing about your boyfriend here.”

that was not a question you were expecting, the man seemed overly interested in the two of you. your suspicion grew. but you knew you had to answer the question regardless if this was starting to feel like a set up.

you thought for a moment. but when you opened your mouth the words came naturally.

“he notices everything. i’ll be having a slightly bad day, maybe the weather is bad or i slept in too late, and i’ll only be slightly moody and he’ll notice. and he notices the things i like too. he learned my favorite ice cream flavor just based on the way my gaze lingered in an ice cream parlor. he knows everything about you before you know it yourself.”

you should stop. you should stop right now.

“and he’s reliable. yeah he may be late for a meeting or wander off during an important moment but if you need him, he’s there. he’s a constant presence in my life, i couldn’t imagine working without him by my side. jesper is the best thing in my life too.”

you realized your mistake too late. yeah you’d basically gushed about the boy you loved to a total stranger and probably made it painfully obvious to jesper that you loved him but you’d also used his real name. his real name. rookie move.

“jesper? why does that name sound familiar to me?” the man asked.

before you could even register what was going on, the room was filled with the sound of gun shots and you and jesper were on the ground.

you two sprung into motion, jesper with his guns blazing as you knocked out any armed person in your vicinity.

during a good moment jesper grabbed your wrist and the two of you ran out the club down the streets. but you could hear a group of men chasing you, hot on your tail.

you cursed under your breath, why saints why?

jesper pulled you into an ally and pressed you against the wall, making the ‘sh’ motion with his fingers.

if this were any other moment and you two were any other person, you’d enjoy the particular position you found yourself in. but you reminded yourself that you were being chased by criminals that might notice two figures hanging out in an ally.

you looked at jesper and he was finally looking at you. he gave you a sad smile, “i’m sorry for what i’m about to do in advance and i’m sorry this is the way i do it for the first time.”

and suddenly jesper’s lips were on yours and you were kissing jesper fahey. jesper fahey.

you only slightly registered the men chasing you run past the alleyway without a second glance.

one of you pulled away first and you stood there trying to catch your breath.

“um great quick thinking” you said. he had kissed you because he knew no one would question two kids kissing in the dark against a wall.

he let out a little laugh but he was just as flustered as you, “best thinking i’ve ever had.”

it was silent for a second, the night air felt suffocating and consuming and you couldn’t wait to be back at the slat in your own bed.

“did you mean what you said in there?” he asked you.

“did you?” you whispered back, as you looked at him through your eyelashes.

“i did”

“then i did too”

he pressed himself closer to you and brushed his lips against yours, “good. then when this is all over remind me to take you out on a date.”

did he just

date ?!

jesper stepped away from you and checked the main road before he grabbed your hand and pulled you the direction of the crow club.

“you coming angel face?”

you grinned and then burst into a sprint right alongside jesper.

#jesper fahey hc #jesper fahey #jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey imagine #jesper x wylan #kaz brekker #shadow and bone #six of crows #grishaverse #nina zenik #inej gahfa #kaz brekker x reader #six of crows imagine #wylan van eck #grisha #leigh bardugo #matthias helvar

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soobasaur · 3 years

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「 jisung as your skater boyfriend 」

i used to see you on the sidewalk, standing in your high tops

han!jisung x gender!neutral reader

a/n: i saw this photoshoot of jisung with a skateboard and my mind just shortcircuited and now i have a pinterest board full of skater boy jisung so here we are,,,if u see any skater fics tAG ME

« masterlist similar work »

you didn’t think you’d ever take up skating, after falling the moment you put on roller skates when you were younger you thought it was hopeless to even try

but that was before you saw him.

it all started when your friend jeongin took on a new obsession with skateboarding and you took on a new obsession with the boy at the skate park

you only tagged along to hang out with jeongin and for the ice cream stand that was right next to the skate park

and jeongin always offered to buy you some so why would you say no to that (n˘v˘•)¬

but your obsession started when you watched jeongin start talking to some boys you didn’t recognize, when you later asked he said he met them from the park

one of them in particular caught your eye

he almost always had on a some sort of hat and band tee on, his hat usually falling off when he was halfway through with his tricks

you had been trying to build up some courage to talk to him but didn’t know what to say since you didn’t skate yourself :((

cute boys made you nervous !!!

especially ones who could do cool tricks on their boards !!!

jeongin picked up on your little crush since whenever he asked you to watch him do a new trick your eyes always wandered off to him

he teased you about it but ended up telling you his name and a bit about him

han jisung, he was around your age and went to a campus not far from you, which is why you had never seen him around

one day, when you were actually paying attention to jeongin for once, you saw a hat lying forgotten in the middle of the park and immediately recognized it as jisungs

you were to the point where you could recognize what brands he wore shjdjf

you rushed over to pick it up, dodging jeongin’s board as you did so, and made your way back to your table, clutching it protecting in your fists

after scouring the park for a tuft of his brownish hair you came up empty, deciding to pocket the hat until the next time you visited

when you offered to come to the park the next day without jeongin begging you to do so, your best friend knew something was up

he pestered you until you finally surrendered and showed him the hat, your ticket to starting a conversation with jisung

“i could just introduce you two,” jeongin chastised, rolling his eyes playfully

“that wouldn’t be memorable though! i want him to remember me as the person who saved his hat!”

“....imma just pretend i don’t know you.”

〴⋋_⋌〵 “jeongin !!”

you eventually spotted him waiting in the shade for his friends to skate and mustered up enough courage to walk up to him

“...hey?”

why did that come out like a question (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

he turned to you after realizing you were talking to him, “hi?” he sounded startled, but you didn’t miss the way he quietly checked you out

“uhm so i’m y/n and you dropped your hat the other day? this is yours right? i notice you wear this brand a lot and uh, anyways! i just wanted to return it to you—,” you held out the hat and shut up before you started rambling and embarrassing yourself even more

you say his eyes flash in recognition as he reached out to grab the hat, then took his hand back just as quick

“actually...you can have it. keep it as a gift! i’d rather you give me your number instead,” he winked, before taking out his phone to hand to you

( ･_･) snkdkfkfkgovkovijskd wHAT

you somehow managed to grab the phone with shaky hands as you typed in your number, saving yourself as “y/n ❤️” and handing it back before you could stop yourself

you saw him smile at the contact name, pocketing it before looking back at you

“i’m jisung by the way...do you wanna get some ice cream?”

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) was this perhaps...a date?

“sure...oh! what about your friend?” you asked, gesturing to the boy he seemed to be waiting for

he waved them off, “we can join them later, come on, my treat...i’ll race you there.” and he threw his board down and skated off towards the nearby ice cream stand as you ran off after him, yelling at how that was unfair

true to his words, jisung bought you ice cream and you guys sat down at a worn down bench

unfortunately, it was right out in the sunlight so you kept squinting to lick your ice cream

after seeing your suffering he took the hat he gave you from where you placed it on the table and plopped it on your head, adjusting the straps to fit you

“there, now the sun won’t bother you and we can twin!” jisung smiled, pointing to his current hat which was the one you were wearing in a different color

your little date was soon interrupted with his friend running over along with jeongin, who kept giving you suggestive faces as he stood behind jisung

“cant belive you buy your new partner ice cream and not your friends!! removing you from your best friend position!” his friend whined, he had long blond hair and you didn’t miss how jeongin eyed him discreetly

“shut up hyunjin,” jisung glared, a fond smile on his face as he handed over his friend some bills from his wallet and ruffled jeongin’s hair, “i might as well be your guy’s sugar daddy.”

you couldn’t help but notice how he didn’t deny the part where hyunjin called you jisung’s new partner (ᗒ//ᗕ)

hyunjin and jeongin took the table behind you guys as you continued to talk to jisung

you found out where he went to college and his current major (music production ?/$:&:&) and how he minored in dance so he could have a class with hyunjin, who begged him to join

that made him ten times more attractive and you felt a little shy telling him you were an art major, and the only instrument you could play was the piano due to lessons as a kid

but he thought it was cool and let you rant about your annoying professors and dumb projects you had to complete

in return, he showed you some of his songs and let you watch a couple of his performances before getting bashful and hiding his phone away

jisung rapping made you feel butterflies shkddndj

you two hit it off and bounced off of each other as the conversation went on

after a while jeongin pestered you to go home with him to help him on the project he procrastinated on

it was getting late though so you agreed

jisung asked where you guys were heading and offered to walk you both, since hyunjin didn’t seem keen on leaving jeongin either

hyunjin and jisung instantly put down their boards to start skating to you guys’ dorms before you admitted you didn’t skate

jisung looked pretty shocked at the revelation before kicking his board back up

“hmm, why do you come to the park then?” he asked as you guys ended up walking back, hyunjin and jeongin ahead of you as they decided to skate back

“jeongin bothered me to come with him before he met you guys, then i just started tagging along to see you—, to just hang out.”

he waggled his eyebrows at you as you jogged ahead of him, “to come see me?- hey get back here!”

the four of you finally ended up home, hyunjin walking jeongin to his place a little further from yours as jisung took you to your dorm building to send you in

“oh, before you go, take this.” he mumbled, handing you his board

?????????

why was he handing you his board ಠ_ಠ

“isn’t this yours? why are you giving it to me?” you asked all confused

“i have a ton at my apartment, and this one has a cute design on the back,” he turned the board around and pointed at the art, “you said you like this style of art so i thought you’d enjoy it, and next time you come to the park bring it with you so i can teach you how to ride it”

he shyly scratched the back of his neck as he handed it to you, “take care of it, yeah? i’ll call you later y/n, bye~,” he shot you some finger guns before lamely moonwalking off your porch and running off towards where hyunjin was waiting for him

you carefully clutched the board and made your way inside, your heart beating at the thought of jisung remembering something so minuscule like your favorite art style

you and jeongin didn’t end up finishing his project that night and ending up screaming about your new crushes

true to his word, the next time you went to the park you brought the board with you and he taught you how to ride it

he took you to some smaller ramps in the back and placed the board down, holding out his hands for you to step onto it after noticing your hesitancy

you grabbed ahold of his palm and stepped onto the board, the wheel skidding as you felt like you were gonna tumble off

jisung kept you steady though by placing his free hand on your lower back as he let you find your balance

“make sure to angle your feet a little more that way—yeah like that! keep the board near you at all times.”

he watched as you pulled the board towards you and adjusted your stance a little, looking towards him for guidance

he gave you a big smile in return

“okay now imma pull you around a bit so you get comfortable,” he removed his hand from your lower back, (which you were a little sad about) and started to slowly pull you around

you started to death grip on jisungs hand and screamed how you were gonna die when jisung started pulling a little faster

“i got you,” jisung said fondly, as he pulled you in a little circle

“great, now imma let go for a second,” he let go of your palm before grabbing his other board and stepping his right foot on it

“now your gonna put your dominant foot on the board and push off, like this, and just let it take you to the end of the park.”

he pushed his board away before gesturing for you to push

you gulped before letting loose and pushing your foot off, you stumbled a bit before you felt jisung straighten you up, and then you were off

jisung started to jog beside you as you skated towards the other end of the park >///<

he stayed alongside you until you slowed to a stop and you jumped off, a little shaken from the experience

“you did so well!” jisung cheered, hopping over to give you a short hug, before pulling away with flushed cheeks

“thank you,” you mumbled, your own cheeks dusted pink

you guys walked over to where jisung dropped his bag and he tossed you a water bottle, before plopping onto the curb

“you did so much better then me when i first started, i fell off and twisted my ankle, i’m surprised i decided to get back on the board after that...”

“if you never went back to skateboarding, we never would’ve met.” you joked, downing half of the bottle before handing it back to jisung “and i’m only doing good cus i have a great teacher,” you winked as you adjusted your hat

“us never meeting is a sad thought,” jisung mused before drinking from the same bottle, “hey we just indirectly kissed.” he laughed, before looking down sheepishly

why was he so confident and shy at the same time shdjkkffk

“what if we directly kissed?” you asked before you lost all confidence, which you didn’t have much to start with anyways

you saw jisung shortcircuit before turning back towards you, and after getting a nod from you he leaned forward and captured your lips with his own

he tasted like chocolate ice cream and it made your heart go beserk

when you pulled back to breathe he chased after your lips and brought you back in again

your brain rn: sbjdkfklck

after a little make out session he took you back out until you were able to skate a little by yourself and even do some turns with jisung’s help

and if he gave you little kisses for every time you didn’t fall off that was for the two of you to know

bonus headcanons:

it didn’t take long for jeongin and hyunjin to get together after the both of you set them up

which meant double dates at the skate park!!

jisung made it his new life goal to teach you how to skate enough to go a long time without his assistance

:(( he wanted to go on skate dates with you in the nearby city

your favorite thing was to watch jisung do cool tricks you didn’t know the name of on his board, you were scared he was gonna crack his skull open with the stungs he was pulling (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

jisung mentioned in passing how he wanted a board with this specific design but he couldn’t find one anywhere and gave up

so for his birthday you painted a custom design for him and got it printed onto a skateboard

to say he cried was an understatement he started bawling when he unwrapped it

he almost didn’t wanna use it cus he was scared of scratching it, but you assured him it could be repaired and he took it out for a spin

you eventually got the hang of skating, (you couldn’t do any tricks and had a trouble coming to a stop but hey it was progress)

which meant skating through the city dates !!!!

jisung would give you his other airpod and you guys would skate around the city at night listening to your shared playlist

you loved it when he gave you an enamoured look whenever a girl group somg came on and you started belting out to a loona song

jisung could play almost any instrument and he often sang to you whenever you came over

you could just be lying in bed half asleep and he’d sing to you

you even started to pretend to fall asleep just to hear him softly sing to you and play with your hair

you ended up just using his old skateboard for the time being until jisung bought you a new one

he said he wanted to paint you one but wasn’t sure of his abilities so he got one that matched the design with your old one but was brand new

you also cried <//3

he couldn’t paint, but he could write songs!

he would write songs after you all the time and sing you cheesy love songs to embarass you

you would even draw him if he stood still long enough, and seeing the happy expression on his face whenever he took a look at your sketches was worth it

he gave you a lot of his hats so you guys could match together

he liked being the cliche matching couple !! so sue him !!

it was just the cutest relationship and jisung took good care of you and vice versa <33

jisung best boyfriend !!

thanks for reading ⁂

(gif by user hyunjins)

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study-coffee-chicago · 3 years

Text

Seasons of PD and Med: Season 0: The Backstory (A Halstead! Brothers + Halstead Sister! imagine)

Hey, I had an idea to pick episodes from every season of PD and Med and write them as if Will and Jay had a younger sister involved. This is the first installment and it will deal with some big things in Jay and Will's young adult years and Y/N's childhood years! Stay tuned for the next update which is season 1 of PD (I'm not gonna say what ep it is yet because I want you guys to be surprised.) I just made up a name for Mama Halstead since she hasn't been named in the show...I'm still waiting on that crumb that the writers neglected to add.

Anyway, enough of the long note, enjoy!

Will's age: 20

Jay's age: 18

Your age: 4

"Dad, I'm leaving tomorrow! It's not like I can change it now!" Jay yelled at his father as he paced the living room, his mom and dad sitting on the couch. His mom was trying to calm his dad, but that wasn't working very well.

"Both of you, keep your voice down," Amelia Halstead hissed at her husband and youngest son. "Y/N's sleeping. And if either of you wakes her up, there will be hell to pay tomorrow."

"Sh- Crap," Jay fixed his language quickly, knowing that he shouldn't swear around his parents. "Y/N."

Amelia's eyes went wide. "Jayson Halstead! You haven't told her yet? You said you wanted to be the one to tell her!"

"He won't have to tell her anything if he doesn't go," Pat Halstead shrugged.

"Patrick." Amelia gave Pat a warning look. "He's his own person and as much as we both hate it, he's an adult in the eyes of the law and can make his own decisions. One of which is whether or not he wants to join the military."

"I just think he should go out and get a real job. Why is it that none of my sons want to do that? Will wants to become a doctor and waste God knows how much time and money in school and this one wants to go and get himself killed. And for what? Because you want to play with guns?"

"Dad," Jay groaned. "We've been over this. I want to help protect people and I want to do that somewhere outside the country because there are others over there who really need it. Also, I like the adrenaline rush."

"Jay, not the time," Amelia scolded in reference to the last part.

"Sorry, Mom," Jay mumbled.

"I'm still not okay with this, no matter your reasoning. I don't need you to come home in a coffin!" Pat yelled.

You heard the booming voice of your dad down the hallway and jumped awake. Why was he yelling? Shouldn't he be sleeping just like you had been? But, maybe he was just yelling at the Blackhawks game as he did that often. Maybe if you got up he'd give you some juice. Your mom was always strict about no sugar before--or during--bedtime, but your brothers and your dad were a lot more easygoing.

So, you slid out of bed and walked down the hallway, excited to see if you'd be able to get some grape juice in your favorite princess cup. You clutched your Build-A-Bear in your hand, which was also dressed in pajamas, as it was bedtime, and walked down the hall. But, you stopped short when you heard that Jay was yelling as well.

"I'm leaving tomorrow and there's nothing you can do about it, Dad! If you hate it so much, feel free to stay home when we all go to the airport!"

Jay was leaving? Did he have another seven-sleep-long soccer camp? He always had those in the summer. And, when you went to his games with your mom when the leaves changed, he scored lots of goals.

"Jay wait--"

"Mom, I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

Jay got halfway down the hall before he saw you.

"Hey, what are you doing up? Isn't it way past your bedtime?" Jay asked, his voice softening as he crouched down in front of you.

Your lower lip started to tremble and you pulled your Build-A-Bear, who you had affectionately named Beary, close to your chest. "You go to soccer for lots of sleeps again, Jay Jay?"

Jay sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Of course, you had heard him say he was leaving. And of course, the only thing you had to compare it to was him leaving for his soccer camps which he always went to at the end of July.

"What's the biggest number you can count to?" he asked, trying to sound excited.

"Um...um...um," you furrowed your eyebrows, trying to remember what you had learned at daycare. "Ten," you finally answered.

"I'm gonna be gone a long time," he told you.

"So, ten sleeps?" Ten was a long time. It had two numbers!

"Longer than that." He placed a hand on your shoulder and went to hug you because he saw the tears in your eyes, but you ran away from him. "Y/N, wait--"

"Mommy!" you yelled as you ran into the living room as fast as your little legs could carry you.

Amelia Halstead jumped up from her place on the couch. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?" She crouched down and then picked you up.

"Jay Jay," you hiccupped as tears rolled down your face. "Jay Jay leaving for more than ten sleeps! He not my favowite broder anymore!" you wailed.

The door opened, revealing Will who had just returned from the library since he was taking some summer classes. "What am I, kiddo? Chopped liver?"

"Will my favowite now."

Will put his backpack in his room and then entered Jay's, who was sitting on his bed with what looked like a new outfit for your Build-A-Bear right next to him.

"So, I'm assuming you told her?" Will asked after he had sat down next to his younger brother.

"Yeah. And she hates me now, so there's that."

"Nah, she's just confused. She's four, Jay."

"I know that."

"Did you tell her why you're leaving? Where you're going?"

"No. When I told her I'd be gone for more than ten sleeps she started to cry and then ran to Mom. I made her cry, Will. You're the only one who's supposed to do that."

"Hey," Will smacked Jay upside the head. "I stole her bear once and I'm forever dubbed the horrible brother, yeah okay."

Jay laughed. "I mean, it's true, though. She hated you and cried for hours until you came home and gave it to her because you hid it in your car."

"I agree. It was a dick move." Will picked up the bear outfit. "What's this?"

"I got her a military outfit for her bear. Figured maybe it'd help her feel like I'm not so far away. And, it wouldn't freak her out when she sees me in my uniform tomorrow."

Jay and Will looked up at the sound of his door being opened. "Someone wanted to see you," their mom said, still holding you in her arms. "Isn't that right, sweetheart?"

You nodded. "Down peas," you said, trying your best to say please.

The minute you were safely on the floor, you ran to Jay's bed and hauled yourself up all by yourself. "I sowwy," you told your big brother.

"It's okay. But you know what will make me feel better?" you shook your head no. "A hug."

"Okay!" you jumped into Jay's lap and hugged him, unknowingly jumping somewhere that hurt him, causing him to grimace and Will to burst out laughing. After a warning glance from your mom though, Will stopped.

Once Jay regained his composure, he grabbed the bear outfit from next to him. "I have a present for you."

You pulled away from him and looked at him expectantly. "Weally? But I was mean."

"I know you didn't mean it. I forgive you."

You had no idea what he was talking about, but nodded anyway.

"You know how the good guys fight the bad guys?" Jay started. You nodded. "I'm leaving to fight some really bad guys."

"So you a good guy?"

"Yes," he chuckled. "And I wear something that looks like this. So, I thought maybe Beary would like his own. That way, you know that me and him are both the good guys and when I'm gone, he'll fight off all the bad guys in your bad dreams."

"Beary can fight da bad guys?"

"Yes, it's because he has this. He can even just wear the hat and be fighting bad guys."

He handed you the camo shirt, pants, and hat for your bear.

"You not wearing dis," you told him.

Now it was your mom's turn to butt in. "It's because he's sleepy. He doesn't wear it to sleep. But, he'll wear it tomorrow and Beary and Jay will match."

"Beary match Jay Jay 'morrow?" you asked, looking up at your mom expectantly.

"Yes. And they'll match faster if both you and Beary go to sleep."

"Weally?"

"Really. Now, how about we go to sleep and you can put Beary's new outfit on tomorrow?"

"Okay. Night night, Will. Night night, Jay Jay."

Once your mom had taken you out of the room, Will spoke up. "Damn, now I'm gonna have to get that bear a white coat once I graduate from med school just to one-up you."

"His name's Beary," Jay told him.

Will rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'm gonna have to get Beary a white coat when I graduate from med school. Happy now, little brother?"

"Beary happy."

***

You, your mom, dad, and Will all walked into the airport to say goodbye to Jay before he boarded his flight. Beary was dressed in his camo, but you hadn't seen Jay dressed in his yet as he had left early to say goodbye to Allie and some other friends before you had gotten the chance to see him this morning.

"Look, there's Jay," your mom said, trying to be as happy as she could so that you wouldn't get sad. But, on the inside, her heart was breaking. But, once again, this is what her son wanted to do, so she wouldn't stop him.

"Hey guys," he said as he walked up to you, again, trying to be as happy as he could. But, since you couldn't really read the tone yet, you missed the nervousness in his voice.

"You and Beary match!"

"I told you we would! Would I ever lie to you?"

You shook your head no. You trusted both your big brothers to always tell you the truth.

"C'mere." Will was the first one to give Jay a hug. "I'm gonna miss your annoying--" Will leaned in to whisper in Jay's ear, knowing that if his mom heard him swear around you, he'd never hear the end of it. "--ass."

"I'll miss you, too. And all that annoying school talk you do. Dad?"

He turned to his dad and he hugged him, shocking both Jay and Will. "Stay safe out there, son."

"I will."

"Mom, please don't cry," Jay said as he turned to your mom, who was still holding you in her arms.

"I just love you so much. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"Mom," he said as he swallowed a lump in his throat and hugged her. "I love you, too."

He pulled away and then looked at you. "And you, I am gonna miss you the most."

"Weally?"

"Yes, don't tell Will, but you're my favorite."

"Mommy! I'm Jay Jay's favowite."

"Flight 51163 now boarding."

"I gotta go. But, remember what I told you, okay? Beary will always fight your bad dreams for you because he has his own uniform now."

"Just like you?"

Jay nodded. "Now, can Mommy put you down so I can get a big Y/N hug?"

Your mom set you on the ground and Jay crouched down to your level and enveloped you in a hug. "I gotta go," he said as he pulled away. "Be good for Mommy and Daddy."

"I will. I love you Jay Jay."

"I love you, too." He stood up and looked at the rest of his family. "All of you."

He turned and started to walk away. More than ten sleeps is too long! And, before your mom could pick you back up, you ran towards him, dropping Beary in the process.

"No no no Jay Jay, peas stay!" you yelled.

Jay's head whipped around just as you attached yourself his leg with tears running down your face.

"Y/N, Jay's gonna be home before you know it," your mom said.

"But- But I don't want Jay Jay leave. I want Jay Jay home!"

"I know, I know. But remember what he told you last night? He's gotta get all the bad guys. And, you want him to get all the bad guys, don't you?"

"You pwomise to get all da bad guys, Jay Jay?" you asked, still holding onto his leg.

"I promise."

Your mom reached down to grab you and then lifted you up into her arms.

Another guy wearing the same clothes as Jay came up to you. "Is this yours?" he asked you.

"Beary! I dropped Beary, Mommy!" you exclaimed as you reached out and took your bear from him.

"I see that. Now, what do you say?"

"Tank you!"

"You're welcome," he said.

Then, you waved goodbye as your mom walked away with you and returned to Will and your dad. All the while, you clutched Beary, making sure he didn't fall out of your grasp again.

"Kid sister?" the guy who handed you Beary back asked Jay.

"Yeah, she's four. Doesn't really get what's going on. Thanks for giving that back. She would've gone crazy if she got in the car and it wasn't there," Jay answered. "I'm Jay Halstead by the way."

"Greg Gerwitz," he replied. "But everyone calls me Mouse."

***

Will's age: 22

Jay's age: 20

Your age: 6

"Mom is gonna be shocked, man," Will said to Jay as he parked his car in the driveway. "I just hope she doesn't me kill for keeping it a secret from her."

"I think that'll be the last thing on her mind when she sees me. Now, you said that her and Y/N are leaving at 8:15, right?"

"Yeah, so you better go stand outside my car now because it's 8:14."

Meanwhile, inside you ran back down the hallway to your room. "Y/N!" Your mom shouted after you. "We have to go! You don't want to be late on your first day of kindergarten, do you?"

You ran to your room and then grabbed Beary. You had changed him back into his military uniform outfit--or, what you called Jay Jay's clothes--earlier this morning. It was the only thing Beary wore during the day since Jay's been gone. You'd put him into his pajamas at night and then right back into the military uniform outfit when you woke up.

"I'm back, Mama! Beary's coming to school with me!"

"That reminds me," she pulled out a small toy backpack from behind her back. "Beary can't go to school without a backpack now, can he?"

"No, Mommy! Thank you!" you quickly put the red backpack on Beary's back and then your mom took a picture.

Then, you and your mom stepped out the front door.

Jay and Will were both leaning against Will's car. Tears came to Jay's eyes when he saw that your bear was still in that military outfit he'd gotten you two years ago before he left for basic training and then for Afghanistan.

Through a rushed phone call a few months ago, Jay had asked Will when your first day of school was. He didn't want to miss it, being the good big brother he was. So, once he had a date, he went on a mission to get himself off his tour one week early. Somehow, he was successful. Then, he coordinated with Will about what time his flight was landing in Chicago and he'd picked him up. The two brothers spent the night at a hotel--Will saying he was staying at a friend's house--and then driven home that morning.

You were having a very intense conversation with your mom about what you hoped kindergarten would be like when she stopped in her tracks and put her hand over her mouth.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" you asked, looking up at her with wide eyes.

"Hi, Mom."

You knew that voice. But, usually, it only came through the phone and your mom wasn't holding the phone right now.

You looked away from your mom and towards the sound of footsteps.

There, right in front of you, was your big brother in his military uniform that matched Beary's.

"Jay Jay!" you yelled and sprinted towards him.

"There's my favorite kindergartner!" Jay exclaimed when he picked you up. "Did you miss me?"

"I missed you this much!" You spread your arms out as far as they could go.

"Really?" You nodded your head. "You missed me a lot, huh? Well, I missed you more!"

"Did you get the bad guys?"

Jay swallowed, images from his deployment and having people bleed out in front of him coming to the forefront of his mind. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, Y/N. I got all the bad guys."

"Good!"

"How did you- How did you both do this?" your mom choked out, in tears.

"Mommy, don't cry," you told her, still in Jay's arms. "Jay Jay's home, be happy."

"I am happy, baby. These are happy tears. But how did you do this? I thought you weren't supposed to be home for another week, Jay!"

"Me and Will talked about it. I found out when Y/N's first day of school was, and the rest just fell into place. I couldn't miss walking my favorite sister to her first day at big kid school, now could I?" he asked, tickling your stomach, causing you to giggle.

"No, stop! Jay Jay stop!" you giggled and he set you back down on the ground.

"How about you walk to school with us and then the three of us go out for breakfast?" your mom suggested.

"What about me?" you asked, looking up at your mom. "Can I come?"

"You'll be in school, honey. And, remember what I said you'd get after school?"

"A donut!" you exclaimed.

"Wow! Someone's lucky!" Jay said, overexaggerating it.

"Make sure you tell them it was your first day of school, Y/N," Will started, "because I know they'll be sure to put extra sprinkles on it."

"Mommy! I get extra sprinkles!"

"So, I heard. But, we better get going, we don't want to be late."

"Sorry to burst your bubble, Mom," Will started, "But I gotta start heading back to New York."

"Med school can't wait another day, huh?" Jay asked.

"I've already missed one lecture, but it was on the ethics and implications of not respecting a DNR...which is common sense in the medical world. But, I don't think I can afford to miss anymore. Sorry guys."

"You'll be back soon though, right?" you asked.

"Yup, I'll be back for Thanksgiving. A lot faster than Jay got back."

"Okay!" you exclaimed. Then, you grabbed your mom's hand and Jay's and walked to school in the middle of them, excited to have your big brother who fought the bad guys back home.

***

Will's age: 25

Jay's age: 23

Your age: 9

It's been three years since Jay's first tour ended, and he was currently overseas on his second tour. You were in third grade now, so you enjoyed getting to write letters to him and tell him all about school. You'd also send some to Will in New York so that he didn't feel left out. And, Will would send you these super cool things called postcards with pictures of different places in New York on them!

Overseas in Afghanistan, all hell had broken loose. Jay and Mouse were in the same unit again, which was great, but what wasn't so great was what happened with his Humvee. The Humvee had hit an IED and left Jay and Mouse as the only two survivors. Jay was trying to do his job the best he could, but he wasn't sleeping, the images of that day etched in his mind and always there, even when his eyes were closed.

In the northeastern part of the US, Will was procrastinating all his homework--but somehow still turning it in on time and doing well on exams--while he worked long, unpaid hours at a hospital, learning everything there was to know about treating patients and performing surgery. He was also partying a lot in his spare time. He had seen one of his professors, Yates, at a party, so that was weird and freaked him out. A grown man partying with his students? Why? But, Will had more important things going on to worry about than why the hell one of his professors was at a big ass house party.

Back at home, your mom was crying and you had asked her what was wrong, but she told you not to worry about it. Despite that, you were worried. You had never seen your mom cry like this. She didn't even cry this much when Jay and Will left!

"Mom?" you asked when you got home from school to see her sitting at the kitchen table crying.

She frantically wiped away her tears to try and play off that nothing was wrong. You looked down at the stack of papers in front of her and noticed that one said something about a will. There wasn't an "a" in front of Will's name! He was just Will!

"Mom! They messed up Will's name! See? I'll fix it!" You picked up the pen next to you and uncapped it.

"No!" your mom yelled.

"Why? It's wrong."

"I'm sorry, baby. These are just really important papers that you can't write on, okay? They're adult papers."

"Will and Jay are adults?" you asked, your eyes going wide. No, they weren't; your mom still called them her baby boys.

"They are!" She laughed at your expression.

"When will I be an adult?"

"You've got nine years yet, baby. You have to wait until you're-- until you're eighteen," she stuttered, trying not to get choked up as she realized that she probably wouldn't be here when you turned eighteen. If the doctors were right, she wouldn't even be here for your tenth birthday.

"Mom, why are you crying?" You sat in the kitchen chair next to her and looked up at her with curiosity in your eyes.

Now was as good a time as any, your mom thought to herself. Both Will and Jay knew and Jay said he'd be home any time now since he had been honorably discharged between the Humvee and IED incident and your mom getting sick.

"Sweetie, mom's really sick," she told you.

You cocked your head to the side. "So, you just need to go to the hospital or get Will to fix you up."

"I wish it were that simple, baby. But, the sickness is way inside my body and is moving around too much to have Will fix it."

"But can't they go inside with those fancy tools that Jay's scared of?"

"It's not as simple as going in with a few needles, baby."

"But what about that yucky stuff you give me?" you asked, referring to the grape flavored medicine.

You heard the door open. "The important thing is that I'm okay right now. I'll just be a little tired and we might have to go to the hospital soon."

"Mom? You here?"

"Jay!" you yelled and ran to the living room, the emotional talk with your mom long forgotten the moment you heard your older brother's voice.

"Y/N!" Jay yelled, matching your enthusiasm as he crouched down and opened his arms wide.

"I missed you!" you told him as you squeezed him tightly.

"I missed you, too! Now, is Mom here?" he asked as he stood back up.

You grabbed his hand. "She's here. Did you know she's sick, Jay?"

You led him to the kitchen, where your mom was still sitting at the table.

Jay glanced over at the paper sitting in front of your mom. He swallowed as it all quickly became real for him.

His mom was dying and he was home. But, his older brother wasn't. Will was off partying while their mom was dying.

***

"No, chocolate's better than vanilla," you argued as you and Jay both walked the short walk home holding your ice cream cones.

"No, vanilla's better. You're just a weirdo. Now, how about you eat your ice cream before it melts and drips on you and you get all sticky?"

It was the first day of May and Jay had been home since February. Your mom's condition was rapidly deteriorating as the cancer spread throughout her body. You had noticed she had been more tired than usual and that your dad hadn't been as excited to watch you at soccer practice. He didn't even want to come with you and Jay when you went to the ice cream shop today. It was opening day for the season, and it was a Halstead tradition that the whole family go get ice cream together. And, Jay wasn't going to let his dad wreck that for you, so he took you.

Jay had finished his ice cream and you were at the bottom of your cone when you walked up the front porch steps.

"You're just going to give up, Amelia? You do know that's what this is right?"

Luckily for you, you were so focused on finishing your ice cream, that you didn't hear the yelling between your mom and dad right away. But, Jay did.

"Hey, Y/N?" you looked up from your cone at your older brother. "How about you go grab your soccer ball from the garage and I'll get some water bottles and we can go to the park and practice for your game on Saturday, how does that sound?"

"So I can get better at stealing the ball from the other team?" you asked.

"Yup. Now, let's hurry up, okay?"

"Okay!"

As soon as your back was turned and you ran off to the garage in search of your soccer ball, Jay entered the house.

"Pat, that's not what this is and you know it!" Amelia argued, using what little strength she had after chemo to stand up.

"Then what is it?" Pat roared.

"I don't want Y/N to see me deteriorate!"

Jay rushed into his parents' bedroom. His mom was clutching the bedpost as if her life depended on it.

"Mom," he started, causing both his parents to focus their attention on him. "How about you sit down? You're tired."

"Jay, will you get me the phone please?" she asked, still standing.

"Amelia, you are not making that call!"

"It is my life! You are not taking this last big decision away from me!" Her voice softened. "Jay, sweetheart, the phone please."

"What's going on?"

"Your mom wanting to stay at the hospital is what's going on," Pat spat.

"Mom, no. You- you can't. Stay here. Please," he begged. He knew this was the last straw. Staying in the hospital likely meant she'd die there. She only had a limited time left. And, he wanted her to be here, at home with him. He had missed so much when he was away in Afghanistan. He just wanted more time of her staying home, of them being a normal family, despite her battling cancer with all her might.

"It'll be better for me there, Jay. They can give me painkillers and probably other things to help me feel better."

Jay hated it, but his mom was right. It probably was what was best for her.

"Okay, I'll get you the phone."

He walked into the kitchen to grab the phone and walked back to the bedroom to give it to his mom.

He reached out his hand to hand it to her, but it hit the floor with a thud.

"Dad! What the hell?" Jay yelled.

"You know what! She's staying here, Jayson!"

"Last I checked, it was mom's decision, not yours! And, she said she wants to go to the hospital! Respect that!"

"Like you and her respected what I had to say when you wanted to leave for the army? You didn't respect what I had to say then, so why should I respect what she's saying now?"

"Because she's your wife and she's dying!" Jay yelled. "You're stressing her out and stress is bad for her."

He picked up the phone and went to hand it to his mom. She took it.

Pat reached out his hand, but Jay stopped him. "You touch her or that phone, and I will lay you out where you stand. It's mom's decision."

"You'd really hit your old man?"

"Try me."

There was silence for a moment before Pat turned. "I'm going for a drive. I'll be back later."

"You didn't have to do that, you know," Amelia said to her son once Pat was out of the room.

"You did the same thing for me when I left to go to the army. You respected my decisions, so I'm respecting yours, Mom."

"When did you grow up so much?" A tear rolled down her cheek.

Jay sat down next to her. "Army will do that to you."

"Jay? You ready?" Jay heard you call for him.

"I'll be right there, Y/N!" he hollered back. Then, he turned back to his mom. "I was gonna take Y/N to the park, but I can stay here if you want me to?"

"No, go, Jay. You're a good brother. Promise me you'll watch over her when I'm gone?"

"Mom don't say--"

"Promise me. She needs you, both you and Will to look out for her. Who knows how your dad will get through all this. She needs her big brothers."

"I promise, Mom."

"Jay?" he heard you yell for him from outside.

"Be right there!" he yelled back.

After grabbing and filling up two water bottles, he walked outside to be met with your puzzled face. "What's wrong?"

"Why'd dad leave?" you asked, holding the soccer ball under your arm.

"Uh," Jay faltered. No way in hell was he going to be the one to explain this to you. Him leaving for the military, yeah, he could explain that one. But your guys' mom dying and telling you that she was going to the hospital because the end was near? Yeah, not gonna happen. He'd leave that to someone else...someone that was not him. "He's running a few errands," Jay answered.

"Oh, okay. Can Ben come to the park with us, too?" you asked.

Ben was your best friend and also your neighbor. Jay had dated his older sister before he left to fight the bad guys far away. Sometimes, when Jay had to babysit you, Allie would come over and bring Ben. And then, you'd get lots and lots of candy and get to watch movies for a bit. And, they'd promise you both Mcdonald's if neither you nor Ben said that Allie had come over. It always worked. You didn't know what the two teenagers were doing, but all you knew was that you got french fries and candy out of it, so both you and Ben had kept your mouths shut...despite it being against both your parents' rules to have a boyfriend or girlfriend over when they weren't home.

"You know what, I think that's a great idea," Jay answered. And then, you made your way to the Corson's and then to the park, thinking nothing of it.

***

Jay was sitting in the hospital room, clutching his mother's hand, just wondering how his life had turned out like this. Will was almost to the hospital; he'd gotten a last-minute flight from New York to Chicago, knowing that that would be faster than driving. Your dad was picking you up from school an hour early on a Friday. But right now, right now Jay was alone. And his mom, well she was still here, but he knew it wouldn't be for long. He knew that she was sleeping right now, and he wanted that for her because at least she wouldn't be awake to feel the pain of death, but at the same time, God, he wanted her to wake up. He wanted her to wake up so bad. He wanted to tell her that she was the best mom in the world. He wanted to tell her that he should never have had gone to Afghanistan, that maybe Dad was right, maybe he should've stayed in the States. Maybe he should've stayed in Chicago. He should've stayed home, just so that he could have had those three missed years with his mom. So that there could've been those extra two years before Will went to med school where the five of the Halsteads would be a real family. Because, in a matter of hours, hell in a matter of minutes, the Halsteads would dwindle down to a family of four forever. And, then, when Will left to go back to New York, it would dwindle down to three, at least for the time being.

Damn it. He just wanted more time. More time with his mom. He'd give anything for just a little more time.

"Jay! Jay! How is she?" Will burst into the quiet hospital room looking more worse for wear than normal. He had just gotten off an eighteen-hour shift of his med school rotation when he had gotten the call from his dad to get to Chicago as soon as possible. He found the first available flight--not caring about cost--and left, not even glancing at the clothes he threw in a duffle bag.

"Shhh!" Jay hissed at his older brother. "She's sleeping. And, shouldn't you know from your fancy schooling that as long as those monitors are still beeping, that she's still alive? Or did you just get too drunk and not even study and leave me to deal with dad and a very distraught and scared Y/N?"

"Man, you know I stopped doing that once I started working long shifts at the hospital!" Will whisper-yelled, trying to keep his voice down.

Jay sighed. "I'm sorry. We can deal with this later."

"You said Y/N's scared. What's she actually doing?"

Jay swallowed, trying to hold back the tears of what you'd been asking him those last two and a half weeks. "Um, every morning when she wakes up, she asks me if Mom went to heaven when she's sleeping. And then- And then before she leaves for school, she tells me to tell Mom she loves her if I go to see her."

Will rubbed a hand down his face. He didn't know what to say. He knew he should've been in Chicago for his little brother and sister, but he hadn't been. And, he couldn't change the past now. And, he knew he couldn't stay in Chicago after the funeral. It was no use telling Jay and you that he could stay; it'd just be an empty promise.

"William," Amelia's hoarse and groggy voice broke through the silence.

Will rushed to the opposite side of the bed to grab his mom's hand, the one that had the pulse-ox on it. "Mom, I'm here. I'm here."

"I need to- I need to tell..."

"Here, Mom." Will held the water cup with a straw in front of his mom. "Drink a bit. Please."

Amelia obliged and listened to her oldest son. After all, he was going to be a doctor one day. And, she hoped a damn good one at that.

"Thank you, baby," she said once she had taken a few sips. "My ring."

"What about your wedding ring, Mom?" Jay prompted.

"It's not a race...but whoever finds...the right girl first...gets it."

"Mom, don't say that," Will choked out. "You'll be okay. Everything will be fine."

Jay wanted to scoff. Leave it to Will to say that. He wasn't the one sitting in the hospital every damn day just watching their mom deteriorate and waiting for the inevitable.

"But, I'm supposed to wait until Sunday," you told your dad as you entered the hospital room, clutching the present you had made in art class for Mother's Day.

"I think it's close enough. And, it'll make Mom super happy," your dad answered you.

You nodded, the clay heart clutched in your hand. "Will!"

"Hey, kiddo."

"I missed you."

"I missed you, too. Now, what about this mother's day present? Why don't you come over here and give it to mom?" God, he didn't know how he did it, how he talked to his little sister like this was just a normal day and their mom wasn't minutes away from leaving them forever. He thought that his time working in a hospital and watching doctors and nurses deliver devastating news to families might have something to do with it, though.

"Mom." You stood on your tip-toes so that you could fully see her since her bed was tipped so that she was in a semi-sitting position.

"Yes...baby?" she asked, her voice no more than a whisper.

"I made this for you. I'm supposed to give it to you on Sunday since that's when Mother's Day is, but Dad said I can give it to you now." You passed the ceramic heart which was painted a shade of lavender and had I love you, Mom carved into it in your messy third-grader handwriting. "Do you like it?"

"I love...it, baby...I'll...cherish it...forever."

"I love you, Mommy." You hadn't called her Mommy in years. But, you knew it always made her happy when you called her that. Maybe, this would make her feel happy.

"Where's...Dad?" she asked weakly.

"He had to go to the bathroom," you answered.

"I love...you...my three...babies."

The sound of the monitor flatlining filled the room. Jay let out an agonizing scream, one unlike you had ever heard before.

"No," Will sobbed. You'd never seen him do that before. He always tried to be the big brother who didn't cry. Both your big brothers did.

Will wanted to start chest compressions, but he knew they'd be no use.

"Mommy," you whispered, shaking her shoulder. You knew it was no use, but maybe, just maybe she'd wake up. "Mommy, come back. Please."

"She's gone, Y/N," Jay said. "She's not coming back."

"Jay!" Will yelled.

"She needs to know that! Mom's gone, dammit!"

Jay slid down the wall, his anger, sadness, frustration, all of it, getting the best of him and he cried. Sobs racked his body.

He heard whispering near him and vaguely made out that Will was telling you that Jay didn't mean to sound so mean. And, then, he felt a pair of little arms wrap around him.

"Jay Jay," you whispered.

And that just made Jay cry harder.

Will came over and joined the hug, all three of you sobbing.

You heard a gasp and the sound of someone running into the room. Then, you heard a blood-curdling scream, the sound of a husband losing his wife way too soon.

The ceramic heart you had made for your mom fell to the floor, finally becoming too heavy to stay put in her lifeless hand now that there was no grip left. It shattered into sharp, lavender pieces, much like your real hearts. Despite still beating, they may as well stop, too. Because, just like how that ceramic heart would never be whole again, without your mom, your heart would never be whole again either.

***

Jay's age: 24

Your age: 10

It had been about a year since your mom had died. Day by day everything was getting easier. But, a part of you was missing, and you'd come to accept that it'd never be filled. Jay moved out right after your mom died and you'd see him sometimes. He worked different hours now since he was a police officer. But, even if you wanted to watch one more movie with him at his apartment, he wouldn't let you and he'd never let you spend the night. He'd always bring you back home to your dad.

You were in bed, Beary laying next to you since you had let go of him in your sleep, when you were woken up by the sound of sirens.

You located Beary from beside you and walked out into the hallway. The light was on as you still didn't like it when you woke up to go to the bathroom and it was dark. So, you walked to your dad's bedroom and pushed to door open.

"Dad," you whispered as you placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Hmmm?" he asked, opening his eyes. "What's wrong, honey?"

Since your mom died, you and your dad had grown a lot closer. You'd always watch hockey games with him and he'd come to every single one of your soccer games and take you out for a snack after. He always made sure he was home from work before it got too late so that he could help you with your homework and make sure you weren't scared of a thunderstorm at night. He was the dad that Will and Jay never had. He just hated that it took the death of his wife for him to become a better father.

"Why- Why are there police officers at Ben's house?"

"Police officers? At the Corsons?" your dad asked.

"Yeah, from my window I saw the flashing lights. What's going on?"

"Just give me a minute and we'll go see if they need anything, okay?" he asked, not knowing there was crime scene tape everywhere.

Once your dad was ready, you walked outside, holding tight to his hand and to Beary.

"Uh, yeah, tender-age male. From the looks of it raped and possible cause of death being asphyxiation."

You had no idea what anything he was saying meant, but you knew that Jay was the one who was talking. He was here! Maybe he'd know what was going on! And, maybe he'd know where Ben was, because, from the people around, you hadn't spotted Ben yet.

"Jay!" You let go of your dad's hand and ran towards him, ducking under the bright yellow crime scene tape.

"Shit," he muttered as he ran towards you, trying to block your best friend's body from your view.

But, he was too late.

"B-Ben?"

Jay grabbed you and pulled you close to him so that his body was blocking you from seeing the body any more than you already had. But, he knew that it was no use; the image of your best friend laying in the grass with a rope tied around his neck and duck tape on his mouth and wrists, pants on backward and shirt haphazardly threw on, would forever be etched in your mind.

"Ben!" you wailed.

"I'm gonna take her back to the house. You got it from here and I'll meet you back at the station?" you heard Jay say to who you assumed was his partner.

"Yeah, who is she?"

"My little sister. Kid was her best friend."

"Take as much time as you need, Halstead. I'll tell the sergeant that you might not be back tonight."

"Thank you."

Your dad stayed with Danny and Gail, while Jay brought you home.

"Do you want some water?" Jay asked quietly as you entered the house.

You shook your head. "What happened?"

"Maybe when you're older I can explain, okay?"

"So, he's with Mom now?" you asked, looking into his teary eyes.

"Yeah, he's with Mom now. She'll look after him." He pulled you into a hug. "I love you, kid. You're my favorite sister."

"I'm your only sister, Jay."

"That's why you're my favorite."

Jay took a deep breath as he held you tight. That could've easily been you laying on the ground instead of Ben.

After that night, any day that Jay didn't have to work in the mornings, he'd walk you to school. He did that for the rest of the year. He never told you why; he'd only say that he wanted to spend time with his little sister and sometimes he'd even bring you a donut. But, you knew it had something to do with Ben...and the fact that the person who hurt him had never been found.

You weren't supposed to know that information, but you figured it would've been on the news if they found the person who did it. After all, the case was on the news when it first happened.

Little did you and Jay know, that it would be three years until justice would be served and that Jay would almost lose his badge over it.

A/N: Hey, sorry this took me so long to post! It took me a while to write since most of the scenes were sad. Anyway, as I mentioned at the beginning, this will be a series, so look for the next installment! Those will be better because the age will be when Y/N's a teenager...and I write those a lot better than I do when I have to write times when Y/N is a kid.

Thanks for reading and please feel free to comment! It gives me so much motivation to continue writing!

#jay halstead #will halstead #jay halstead imagine #will halstead imagine #jay halstead fanfiction #will halstead fanfiction #Halstead Bros #halstead sister #halstead sister imagine #halstead brothers #chicago pd #chicago med #chicago pd imagine #chicago med imagine

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defectiveconantoy · 3 years

Text

Good Luck!

Fandom: Detective Conan

Pairing: ShinRan

Rating: K+

Prompt: Long Distance

Genres: Slice-of-life, Friendship, not enough Romance, a pinch of Angst

Word Count: 1,261

A/N: I once cried while drafting this. 😭 You’ll see why. I also had this one planned before @shinranweek was announced. The event was a convenient excuse to finally write it. 😏

Good Luck!

It’s dinnertime in the Mouri household. Ran, Kogoro, and Conan gather around the table to eat after a brief afternoon case.

On the table lies the main dish alongside rice and side dishes. Ran took about an hour to prepare everything. She seems awfully proud of her meal. Who can blame her when the food looks great?

“We’re having Buri no Teriyaki tonight,” Ran announces in a singsong voice. Everyone eats excitedly.

“Ahh! Really good! This hits the spot,” says Kogoro.

Conan chirps, “Thank you, Ran-neechan!”

“You’re welcome,” Ran replies with a cute grin.

She continues, “It’s chilly outside, so I figured we’d have some fish. And you know what they say about fish and how it’s good for your brain. Haha! Anyway, how was school today, Conan-kun?”

“Not bad. We learned how to count money today, which isn’t hard. I already learned about it on a coin collector’s book.”

Ran replies, “How nice! I’m glad the lesson comes easy to you. Wish I was on the same boat. I have an English exam in two days. I’ve studied for weeks but get scared of blanking out.” She cups her face with her hands in slight embarrassment. “But you know me. I’ll be okay,” she grins.

Conan helps Ran pile up the plates and clean up the table as he talks. After the dishwashing chores, he settles in the living room to watch television. Meanwhile, Ran quietly withdraws to her bedroom. “Hmm, must be the studying,” he thinks to himself.

An hour and a half passes. After leaving the living room, Conan tiptoes into the hallway beside her bedroom door. She should be close to sleeping by now. He instead hears Ran’s muffled whimpering followed by intense crying.

“I can’t take this anymore!”

Who is she talking to? He hears no other voice but hers.

“W-where are you? she sobs. I’m t-trying my best to take each d-day as it comes. I stay happy so nobody notices I’m hurt. This is too m-much. I try, I try, but it’s t-too much without you. C-come back, Sh-shinichi! W-when will you tell me everything? T-tell me what’s wrong, anything about that c-case you n-never talk about with me? I miss you! I need you! You’re my b-boyfriend, but I hardly s-see you. Pleeease, come b-back.” She continues crying.

His heart sank. “Is that how she really feels? No wonder she’s scared of that test. How can she study with my disappearance on her mind? What to do?”

He struggled sleeping that night. Ran’s crying makes Conan feel guilty about his distance and dishonesty. He’s the reason she’s in tears. If the Black Organization encounter didn’t happen, he’d be studying with her this week. But for now, a phone call tomorrow will do.

The next afternoon, Conan stays over at Agasa-hakase’s place to give Ran time to study and to fix his spare glasses, which are glitching and low on battery. He find a quiet place to dial his voice altering bowtie to his normal voice and call Ran as Shinichi.

Three tones pass. She picks up. “Hello!”

“Ran, it’s me. How have you been?”

“Ugh! Pretty stressed. I have an English test tomorrow, just the oral portion. Thank goodness! The written portion’s next week. For the oral test, our teacher and I are roleplaying as a bakery customer and employee.”

“I hate two-parters!”

“I know,” Ran replies. “I have no idea how many words I’ve remembered. I’m getting dizzy just thinking about it.”

Shinichi explains, “Well, think of it this way. For the oral part, just remember your favorite pastry and imagine how you would request that in another language. Otherwise, I think you’ll be fine. You’re great at studying.”

Ran is amused. “Thanks! I hope so. Wait! Are you saying I’m fat because I like pastries?”

“Haha! No. I’m just hungry, that’s all. The bakery situation brought that up, which reminds me, I gotta go eat,” he laughs again.”

“Good luck on your test tomorrow,” he slowly replies in English. “I think you will do fine.”

Haibara passes by him as he says this, then rolls her eyes and quietly giggles. Conan pouts and rolls his eyes back at her.

“Aww, thanks,” Ran responds back in English. “I miss you, by the way. Please, call more often, even if it’s for two minutes. I felt sad, with the test and you being gone. Almost felt like I was going to lose my mind.” She breaks into tears. “Hearing your voice makes my day. Your texts are not enough.”

Conan is at a loss for words. Should he apologize or not? That wouldn’t work, so he’s got a better idea. He begins speaking into his bowtie again, “You know what? I feel happy talking to you as well. I miss hearing your voice. Hey! Why don’t I call you tomorrow and talk about that exam? Sounds good?”

“Sure! That sounds nice. Well, I gotta go back to studying. Talk to you later! Bye!”

“Bye. Talk to you later.” He hangs up his phone, only to see a kiss emoticon on his text message alert. “This girlfriend of mine,” he thinks to himself smiling.

He heads toward the kitchen. Haibara is there preparing food.

“Heh! Quite the nice guy, aren’t you? Such a lucky girl, that Mouri-san.”

“Oi oi! That wasn’t for you. Mind your own business!” Haibara chuckles afterwards.

The next day, Conan walks down the street from his actual home, and Shinichi’s phone vibrates from his backpack. He pulls it out. It’s a text message from Ran. It read: “I did it! I passed with an almost perfect score. Thanks for your encouragement!”

“Congrats! I knew you could do it. So proud of you, Ran,” he texted. He heads over to Agasa-hakase’s house to give her a call, bowtie in hand.

“Good evening, Ran,” he begins in English.

“Shinichi! Thanks for calling me and for replying to my text. It means a lot to me.”

“No problem. So, tell me, tell me! What questions did you get on the oral exam?”

“Nothing about my favorite pastries, unfortunately,” Ran deadpanned. “But at least we talked about bread and cookies. Good thing I wasn’t hungry because I’d already eaten lunch. So, yeah. I had to greet the cashier and order what I wanted, all in English. It wasn’t too bad.”

“I’m happy for you,” Shinichi replied. They then talk more about her day and her upcoming written English exam.

“Wish I could have been your study buddy. Tell you what, next time we see each other, we could try your favorite pastries. And Ran, you can also text me too about anything, whatever is on your mind. We can also talk about next week’s written exam.”

“Great! Now, I can bore you with more food and school talk. Haha! But seriously, I’m happy you called today. This mundane conversation made my day. Even hearing your voice relieves me. Thanks! I miss you.”

“Of course! I’m glad I made your day. And I miss you too.” He briefly pauses. “Well, I gotta hang up. Talk to you later. Bye!”

“Bye, Shinichi!”

Calling her is not the same as being in person, but for now, making her happy to his best abilities is what matters to him most. Bit by bit, he gets closer to solving the case and returning to his old life. Then, he can make her happy every day until the end.

#dcmk #shinranweek2021 #shinran #shinran fanfic #dcmk fanfic #kudo shinichi #mouri ran #prompt: long distance #day 2

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feelingisshit · 3 years

Text

Bunnies, Raccoons, and a Present - Bill Denbrough x Artist!Reader

Warnings - swearing, short fic, tooth-rotting sweetness

“Hey bunny, do you think you could pass me that pencil over there?” I pointed across the table while asking Bill and he just laughed. “(y/n), you h-have a pencil be-behind your ear.” I giggled and pulled the pencil out from behind my ear. “Thanks bunny!” I smile widely at him and continue working on my homework.

“Bunny!” I yelled as I jumped up and hugged him. “Maybe he should be the one calling you bunny since you always do that.” Richie pointed out in jest and I shook my head. “You don’t know shit Tozier. I gave him the nickname for a reason!” I told Richie off and he shrugged to the other losers who just rolled their eyes at him. “I should call you raccoon since you talk so much trash Tozier.” I muse while still being held up by Bill in a tight hug. He nods softly, “I think- I think s-so too (y/n).”

“Raccoon boy-” “Can you stop calling me that!” Richie pleaded and I shook my head, “Nope, bunny said it fits and everyone else seems to think so too so it's staying, sorry not sorry raccoon boy.” He sighs heavily and throws his head back against the end of the hammock. Eddie chuckles heartily “I definitely think it fits, and any who, now you know how I feel about all your nicknames towards me…” I nod slowly while going back to work on the sketch I was doing of the two sitting in the hammock across from me. Bill rests his head on mine and hums out of nowhere.

“What’s up bunny? Is something wrong?” I set my pencil down worriedly and shift my eyes to the boy resting on me. “No-not at all, I’m ju-just happy to-to be with a-all my friends.” He nuzzles farther into my hair and wraps an arm around my back. “I-it's also real-really comforting to wa-watch you dra-draw our fr-friends, espe-especially as w-well a-as you draw.” I smile shyly down at my sketchbook, looking at the almost finished pencil drawing of Richie and Eddie sitting together in the hammock. “Thank you bunny, you’re the best.”

“Bev, can you pass me the marker I just threw at raccoon boy?” she nods and tosses the marker my way. “What are you drawing anyways (y/n)?” Bev comes over after smacking Richie in the back of the head for saying something probably mean which I didn’t quite catch. I turn the book towards her and she gasps, “(y/n)! That’s amazing! Where’d you learn to draw like that?” she asked and sat down on the side that wasn’t occupied by Bill. I looked over at him and he was sleeping peacefully in my lap with his mouth partly open while he dried in the sun.

“Actually bunny was the one who taught me to begin with, then from there I taught myself by practicing drawing all of you guys!” I flipped back to a few earlier pages of drawings of the losers club to show her. “Those really are great, wait, what was that one you just skipped over?” I blushed and flipped back to it while looking away and rubbing the back of my neck embarrassed. The one she had asked about was one of Bill, one that I had done while he was laying in my lap like he was now, soft-looking parted lips, luscious lashes, and all. She placed a hand on my shoulder and got up, “That’s really good, you should show him if you haven’t yet. He’d love it!” She encouraged and I nodded along in deep thought about how that situation might go.

“H-hey, (y/n)?” Bill turned towards me with a slight frown and in turn my face fell too. “You re-remember what t-today is right?” his eyes look majorly sad but none the less I nod and in turn, his facial expression gets lighter. “It’s your birthday bunny, I’d never have forgotten that! And I’ll never pretend to forget either.” I smile and place a hand on his, rubbing my thumb back and forth over the large expanse of the back of his hand. I look away with a heated face and remove my hand from his to grab my sketchbook out of my bag. I flip through and stop at the drawing that Bev had told me to show Bill when we were at the quarry. I carefully tear the page out along the perforations. “And since it’s your birthday, I have a present just for you, bunny.” I sputter out and hand him the drawing, which is now in full color with a handwritten note on the back.

As he stared at the drawing I shifted in my seat beside him, my brain couldn’t help but remember what I had written on the back of the full-color drawing of my best friend and crush. Bunny, I know this might be a little creepy to have drawn you sleeping but you know I draw everyone in the losers club. One day you were laying in my lap in the golden sun and looked like this but more indescribable than anything else I’ve ever seen. Since that day I’ve had feelings that have only grown. I only really got the courage to admit this to you on the back of my favorite drawing because Beverly told me you would like it. (the drawing, not my confession) And after that day I colored it for you. I hope you at least enjoy the art and even if you don’t feel the same way for me I hope we can stay friends! Love, (y/n).

I prayed that Bill wouldn’t read the note on the back and rip up the drawing, I didn’t think he would but I hoped and prayed I would be right. If he didn’t feel the same way hopefully he’d just give it back or forget it ever happened or- My spiraling thoughts were halted by soft lips against mine. My eyes came back into focus and saw that it was Bill kissing me and my eyes snapped shut. I placed my hands gently on his arms and when one of his hands moved to my cheek I audibly squeaked. “(y/n)? A-are you a-a-alright? I-I’m so s-sorry I sh-should’ve asked bef-before I did that…” Bill’s stutter got worse the longer his apology got and I finally had to just shut him up by giving him a gentle peck on the lips back.

“It’s fine bunny, don’t worry about it at all!” I smile widely and grab his hand, pulling it up to my mouth to kiss.

#it #it chapter two #bill denbrough x reader #bill denbrough #richie trashmouth #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #beverly marsh #stan uris #mike hanlon #ben hanscom #x reader #fanfiction #it fanfiction #it chapter one #shit's fics

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ellewords · 3 years

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I think if Tsukishima was in the theater department, he’d probably be part of the tech crew. Probably the sound system, ya know? So he is there for every rehearsal making sure the cast is heard well and that everything run smoothly. And I can just imagine him being the person who adjusts the mics for everyone, and every time he gets the cast to speak so he can readjust, he has really snarky, bland conversation with them. Like, he’s up in the sound booth, and he has the cast going one by one and he’s just spouting stupid sh*t at them as he casually adjusts their volume.

(“Wow, and here I thought you couldn’t get any louder. What a treat.” / “Sorry, what was that? Couldn’t hear you over your mumbling. Speak up, would you?” / “Look at you go, getting it right on the first try. Miracles really do happen.” / “—yeah, okay, I’m done with you. You can stop talking now, thanks.”)

And his dryness takes some getting used to, but eventually everyone gets used to it and they just chalk it up to him not caring about the club and being annoyed constantly. But a lot of them are really confused because Tsukishima doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to keep doing anything he isn’t interested in??? And he keeps coming back??? Even when Yamaguchi isn’t around??? So he has to like it a little bit, right???

They don’t find out the answer until after the cast and crew party after the last production of his high school career has wrapped up. He’s spent the entire party against the wall looking sort of indifferent to everyone unless they come up to him and engage directly. Every once in a while, he takes a lap around the room looking bored as ever, but in his wake, tiny little gifts start appearing in people’s bags. Just little treats they had mentioned liking at some point during rehearsals. No one puts two and two together, but some people do notice his tiny smirk whenever someone realizing they have a gift.

Later that night, as the party is ending, he offers to stay behind to clean up, and as the numbers start to dwindle, he even urges the others on clean up duty to leave. He puts on some music for himself, and he slowly starts to clean up after everyone. Eventually he slows to a stop when he notices how quiet it is, and then... he starts to cry. They’re happy tears, mostly, but he can’t hold back his emotions anymore. Three years of this, and it meant something to him. He doesn’t realize how much until then, so he just cries, and he doesn’t even try to hold it back.

When he is finally finished cleaning, the tiny bit of redness under his eyes the only indicator of his emotional slip, he trudges over to his belonging so he can head out. On top of his bag, though, he notices something: a small strawberry shortcake. There’s a sticky note on it that says “Tsukishima, thanks for the present! Enjoy! :)” but no name. He huffs in annoyance but he lets slip one of his more genuine smirks. It looks like someone had noticed, after all.

This is all over the place as I read it back, but hopefully it still makes some sense. Anyway, hope you have a good day!!!

— from elle ! gahh anon this was so good, i loved it so much (*ﾟ▽ﾟ*) the bit with the cast party and tsukki giving out little gifts to everyone actually made me grin, that was so so cute that i just had to write a lil scenario in yn’s pov and got carried away again ;) tysm for this anon, i hope you are having a wonderful day <33

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

you notice him, in the far corner of the living room, eyes weaving through the several dancing bodies, occasionally taking a sip of whatever was in the plastic cup in his hand. occasionally his gaze would meet yours and his brow quirks up, you catch the smallest hints of a smirk on his lips. you shake your head, continuing your conversation with yachi and kageyama.

every now and then tsukishima would leave his little corner, and the hopefully romantic part of you wished he was making his way to where you stood —leaning against the kitchen counter, nodding your head to the beat of whatever song hinata and yamaguchi decided to belt out on karaoke.

you dismiss the thought the second he walks past you to the sofas, where most everyone’s things casually laid around, no one was exactly there to watch it. but you all trusted each other enough so it wasn’t an issue.

it was around his fourth lap when you finally decided to march up to him, when you notice him discreetly place something in your bag on that very first lap. you try to mask the nervousness with a look of indifference — though you’re sure it only made you look sick more than anything.

“what are you doing?”

“enjoying the party.” he deadpans, employing the slightest hints of a teasing tone.

“standing in a corner and walking around every fifteen minutes is not enjoying a party.”

a low chuckles escaped him, had it not been for the close proximity between your bodies, you wouldn’t have heard him at all. “have you been watching me, ln?”

“what would you do if i was?”

tsukishima shrugs his shoulders, “it’s none of my business what you decide to waste your time on.”

“why ask then?” you noticed the way he kept his hands behind his back, slowly moving towards the end of the couch. “got something to hide from me, tsukishima?”

you’re unsure where this sudden bout of confidence had come from. in the years you’ve known him, you’ve only spoken to him in group settings. and he doesn’t exactly hold back on the snarky comments either. maybe it was the fact that it had been the last performance of the year, of your high school lives. maybe it was because this was the final cast party, and everyone else is too drunk on excitement and energy to notice the conversation the two of you were having. maybe it’s because you were hiding something behind your back too.

“and if i do?”

you think it’s a smile that crosses his face for a split second, the lightest flush that slowly covered his cheeks. just as you open your mouth to reply, he turns away from you, his hands empty. “i’ll see you around, ln.”

you huff, your brows furrowing as tsukishima started to move away. but not before he calls out, “oh and yn?”

“what is it?”

he doesn’t even turn to face you. but if you listened hard enough, you could hear the smile on his face. the hesitance too. “you shine on the stage, you belong up there. don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.”

—

a groan left you lips once you realized that you had forgotten your little pamphlet from the final show — having everyone from the cast and crew sign it. you wave yachi goodbye as you rushed back to yamaguchi’s, hoping that it was still on the kitchen counter where you had left it.

the last thing you expected was tsukishima in tears.

they didn’t necessarily look like sad ones, a small smile on his face as he wiped away the wetness that stained his cheeks — a song from the first musical the theater club had ever performed playing quietly from the speakers, almost inaudible. part of you wanted to run to him, ask him what was wrong. but you stayed rooted in your spot, watching the way his chest heaved, the way his cheeks reddened.

tsukishima shook his head, like he was snapping himself out of a trance, and made his way to his bag. you hold your breath, you didn’t want to be there when he finds it. so you ran, careful not to make a single sound.

come monday morning you see tsukishima in the halls, a keychain of a small strawberry shortcake hanging from his bag — one that accompanied the actual dessert that you gave him. he sees you too, a small keychain of your favorite dessert made of clay hanging from your school bag.

there’s a flash of recognition in both yours and his eyes. tsukishima sends you a small nod, in return you give him a smile. his heart flutters, more than he’d care to admit, wondering why he waited so long in the first place.

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

a question: the haikyuu characters have to put on a play! what’s going on? | written on the margins masterlist

taglist : @haikyuutothetop @crystal-lilac @tobioespresso @sushijimawakatoshi @itsmeaudrieee @pantherhappy @jesssobs @mysticstrawberryballoon

join my hq taglist here. <3

#aaaa didn’t think i’d be simping for tsukki today #but here we are #written on the margins 🔖#tsukishima scenarios #tsukishima x reader #anon <3

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psychemeanscure · 3 years

Text

PART 29 {Finally!! and it’s been a week of stress indeed. 😞 But thankfully things slowly gets better and better for our Mum YJ 🤗 And for the record? I just wanna say, I’MAPUPPY!😂🤣 I maybe expert on reading smuts but I do am puppy in writing. hahaha. So for you who was left hanging from the prev. part... Better live it to your imagination guys. keke}

Gentle breeze of summer hay, daylight hues of morning skies, a serene waves of crystal seas. And of course, what’s much more perfect for Jang Taeyoung other than his living Aphrodite’s side profile. Sitting on her daybed balcony, wearing an ash gray robe, drinking her set of bottled water. ‘Fresh from a bath.’ He can tell.

“F*cking hell.” Scolding his own innuendo while she ain’t even doing anything but sit!

A resting elbow, a root of knuckles assisting a tight jaw suppressing a taste of his volatile prey once again. Shifting gazes with a rising pet under the sheets of hot mess they’re in throughout the night. “I can’t blame you Bud. It’s been a while indeed.” Like a consoling friend to his long sleeping member. Yet, she’s beautifully tempting to ignore for so he decided.

Sung Eunyoung on the other side, cannot contain her smiling from coming. Feeling absurd by a single thought in mind. She, being intimate with the man she used to brush off her senses surprises her. Not in her whole life did she expect that but now? “Unbelievable. You are so unbelievable, Sung Eunyoung.”

“Unbelievable. Yes, it is.”

A breathy voice speaks after her. That the same person who exactly did a great chaos of her sanity. Jang Taeyoung’s snaking hand on the fabrics of her robe is enough for her to feel the tingling sensation she starts to familiar with. Slanting to get a glimpse of him from behind for there she is being drooled by those dark orbs which only sees is her and only her. She saw it all. The way her own reflection radiates the apples of his sight. And for the first time in a long time…

She felt proud. He’s solely hers. “Jang” She have to say it, like a validation she wanted to seal. And so she did. A peck to her shoulder, a rubbing thumb circling her belly as well as a seeming smile he gives in, and the sight that never left hers. She confirmed.

“Morning, sunshine.”

Before she knew it? She’s already responding, giving the same curve as he did. “Same as you, Mr. Jang.” Her smile that he cannot take, he eventually stole a kiss on her glossy lips. Thus she hissed a glare, frowning by the sudden chaste she least expected. “I knew it. Tss. Seriously, Jang Taeyoung. Hold it, will you?”

Just to garner his famous snigger. “I can’t promise though. You already awaken him, Eunyoung. You tell me.”

True to his words, she did felt its pet inside his sweatpants bulging behind her. Rolling her eyes, she retorted. “Por favor, Loco. You tire me so shut it.”

Much to her dismay, there ain’t much worse than a stubborn Jang Taeyoung it is. What’s new. A traitor hand sensually sneaking inside her, yet after a slicking smirk on his face. “Is that so? But it seems like I’m much tired Mi amor, considering you even went up first than I am. Isn’t it?”

A jolt from her own, and she’s sure she’ll going to deal another of his expertise. While a sudden image he almost forgot to open up pops his mind. “And oh! Speaking of first…” he begins his contractions. “You’re a damn seducer woman. Sex education, eh? And here I thought you merely took up the common ones. Damn, if I only knew about it early I should have ravished you even back then. You and your wise mind it is, Ms. Sung.”

‘So he saw it. Mierda!’ she can only think of scolding herself. If not her being too occupied that time, she would have known what his contemplating stare mean the moment he stands in front her piled achievements. “So I was wondering…” thus he started his interrogating response.

“Since the educator has already enlightened the writer. Then isn’t it best for the writer to do his part too?”

Right after the impeccable swirl work of his tongue through her neck, he follows his judgement. “Here, in your daybed. You, my tempting empress and I, your welcoming slave. Writing a better version of Kamasutra. What do you think? Hm?”

And she lost it.

As to a delirious awe of her parting lips subsided, slumping back leaning by the nakedness of his chest, carves of its toned tattoos filling the heat of her whole soul. She accepted her defeat again, for rumor whom she cursed to avoid through a lifetime has it. Him, being the infamous Jang Taeyoung in bed that every bold ones looks forward to. Is indeed one fat truth! Which now she shamelessly admits includes her. A one big slap to her denials. A screw momentum for her living pride. She’s hopeless for she starts to become unsure herself between the reason of her own desire.

Was it because of the fact that he’s simply a natural taming scavenger? Or rather it was his effortless sweet talk calling of giving her names of his liking? Either, or. It’s just seems her writer has finally taught her of what a word insatiable means. A kind of pleasure that had slowly become her favorite thing. Before she realized? They eventually did it again. In her daybed. Feeling the sweats of their aftermath solitude. Hearing each other’s heaving breaths.

Sometime later. Reviving from a huffing state she opts to turn her head to face the weariless man next to her, spooning her and ready for a possible round he’s wishing. Yet, not on her watch as she quickly grabs his sultry hands off her. “Loco, please. I have other things to put at work. Spare me, will you?”

Even when she ends up slapping him afterwards. Him and his slyness, what’s new. “Cabrón.” A set of warning before a groaning contrary by him happened. “Tss. You and your threats.”

“And when did a simple warning become a threat,” Sitting up to fix her disheveled robe. Frowning to face the culprit himself. “Huh?” followed by a glancing inquiry she demands for answer. “Whatever smart Sung. As if you let me slip anyway.” A frustrated man came to visit for defiance.

She almost forgot to suppress herself to snigger. For heaven’s sake! She supposed to remain compose even, yet damn this sulking loco of her ruining everything that the only choice she had is to hold her breath to stop a bursting demeanor. Good thing she had her back on him that he’s clueless of what she’s up to, trying to make herself calm as much as possible.

Biting her lips for the last time, “You’re mad at me?” she managed to reciprocate an indecent follow-up, facing him. “FYI Mr. Sly fox, whose fault is it anyway that I have been bombarded with numerous calls from my superiors and so my presence is a must this instant? Good thing my phone is still working even after being thrown. I’ll definitely kill you if it isn’t. Tss.”

“Dare if you can.” Raising up while avoiding her sight, he sprints back inside her bedroom picking up his tussled summer shirt to as well cover his shirtless figure before mockingly staring at her. “As if I was the one who rejected the call even, when in fact the only thing I did was to tease you. That is.” Upset by how suddenly hard to button his shirt, a cussing Jang finally came by. “F*cking shirt!” a forcing hand frustratingly put on-hold.

And she can’t hold any longer. “Hmpp--- pfft! Hahahahah.”

“Now your laughing. Wow.” Indeed. She had freely put herself from laughing out loud, so enough to flex her low vibrato. “Really, woman?” Another of his rebuke for she still doing it. “Sung Eunyoung! I tell you woman, if you don’t stop I might just---“

“Okay! Okay. I’ll--- hahah--- sorry. Okay, uhum. I’ll stop. There. Are we good?”

“Whatever. Tsk.”

Sensing his mug menace, she eventually stopped for real, approaching the man who felt victimize. “Hey, cutie.”

“Did you just call me---“

Something sealed onto his lips before he could actually finish his sentence. It was hers to begin with. The savoring taste he cannot attain to sweep away for so in just a snap of it, his frustration fade away. As fast as that, she swiftly turns the table while he has to curse himself for being a muted cub with this volatile woman in front of him silkily volunteering to button his shirt herself before giving a scrutinizing stare that drown him to dive in the depths of his sensible soul.

“Is this the real you, Jang Taeyoung? An ever persistent man with the woman he like? Hm?”

He remained speechless. Not long before he clamor to decide beneath himself. Proclaiming to dive along the eye-banging they begun to get used to. “Yes. And you have never been the woman I like, Sung Eunyoung. Let me just correct you in that part because you’ve always been a lover for me. That is.”

He confessed, and she was taken aback. Silently gulping on her own, she can only hide her fluster. She won’t let herself get defeated that easy. Not yet. Sliding away her hold from his nape as she crossed her arms provoking him instead. “You, sly. You pretty sure it isn’t just the lust talking?”

Levelling her pace, he countered back. A brow, twisting to bicker. “Given. You can’t blame me. I’ve been caged enough with celibacy, woman. Just so you know.”

“Is that so? Well sad, Loco. Seems that woman of yours can’t spend a whole day for you.”

“F*cking sh*---“

“La mierda. Halt that vulgar mouth of yours, will you?”

“Like who’s talking as well. Now woman, if you keep making excuses just not to spend time with me, it’s not working.”

She surrendered. A sweeping hand thru the air and a clicking tongue of mockery. She debated. “Aish. Fine. For the peace of your mind then let me just tell you Mr. Jang Taeyoung that aside for the urgent school agenda, I will actually go straight to meet my parents for dinner. There? Does it answer all your question?”

Crossing her arms once again before the unexpected bafflement she never imagined to see from him happened. Looking by his reaction, she was left confused as if he suddenly reminded of something he had forgotten in a while. Nevertheless, she crossed the idea anyway. Choosing her assuming one instead.

With a dreary sigh, she banters. “Right. How come I expect that my parents-pass will actually work for you. I’m foolishly hoping for nothi---“

“Oh…”

“Oh?” surprised by his reply, somehow she unconsciously responded the same before shrugging the thought off and obliged to fill her discontinued one different from the original she opts to be.

“--- Miraculously. Thank you then, Loco. Congratulation eh, that’s new.”

She even dared to add some teasing at the end of her sentence, just to be unheard by still zoning man in front of her. “Cabrón?” Wanting to get his attention, she retaliates not knowing it was actually a start of a counter. An eyeing man bound to release an unexpected reply. “Can I tag along?”

“Of course, you sha--- what?!”

An embellish retort came after her indeed. “Come again, Jang Taeyoung?” A sassy man tacking its hands in his pockets responded instead. “I said can I tag along. So, can I?”

“And why would I?”

“You never know…” Shrugging off, a knowing smirk faces her.

“No.”

Thus the stern word she decides to give in. “Now if you’ll excuse me, Mister. I have to get change already.” Forcefully pushing the stubborn man behind her closed doors, a piercing shut has been heard.

But screw her for underestimating everything for it was still her in the end being clowned by what was happening around her all along. “What the.”

“--- hell?”

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #463

“the siren sings a lonely song of all the wants & hungers / the lust of love, a brute desire”

Describe the person that you would like to be in three years. I want my mental health to be in great condition, I really want to be in much better physical shape, ideally be living with somebody in our own place, have a job I'm happy with, have an improved social life, my own license and car... Think back to when you first met your significant other (or ex). Was your first impression of them accurate? It's funny, I honestly don't remember what my first impression of Girt was. I don't even recall our first interaction. I'm sure it was most likely that he was friendly, because he is and always has been. What is your most noticeable personality trait? Probably that I'm really, really shy. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Which of your family members do you resemble the most? I guess one of my immediate sisters? People tend to say stuff like they can definitely tell we're related. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. Who knows you better than anyone else? Hell, probably whoever reads these. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? I guess you could call dating Girt a "new chapter." I have a much, much stronger feeling of this attempt being more successful than the last now that I've been able to change my angle on how I see him. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? I don't have my own vehicle and never have. If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you choose? *shrug* Most products of highly expensive brands I find hideous anyway. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? Yeah. One is a close family friend and actually our landlord. Does your family still use the home phone or are you all on cell phones now? We haven't had a landline is yeeeeaaarrrrsssss. Ever go to another school’s prom? No; my boyfriend went to the same school as me. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do there? No; we live in the city now. :/ When I DID live in the woods, I absolutely loved wandering around with my camera for stuff to take pics of. Does your significant other ever make you mix CDs? None ever have but omg I wish that would be adorable. How did you dress your freshman year of high school? I was one of them emo kids. Would you ever date your best friend of the opposite sex? WELP that's what I'm doing lol. Would you say you have a high sex drive or not so much? I'd call it normal? Higher sometimes, lower other times, but not to either extreme. Come with an unpopular opinion. Silent Hill: Homecoming is a great game and while there's a lot of fan service from the movie, it belongs in the series. It's actually my second (or third)-favorite installment. Most of the SH community absolutely hate that game. What’s the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? A lot of shit Colleen would say if we got into arguments. She'd ridicule effects of my depression, said I'd never know what it's like to pay my own bills, stuff like that. She's hateful as fuck and everything cut deep. What’s fake about you? Like extensions, fake nails, botox etc. Nothing physical. If you got the chance, would you audition for a reality show? No. Have you ever gotten into a Facebook fight? More than once. What’s the cheesiest thing you’ve ever experienced irl? Hm, I'm unsure. Favorite flavor of jelly bean? Probably watermelon. Do you use Tinder? If yes, have you ever met up with someone you matched? No. You do you, but if I understand Tinder correctly, it just seems... really shallow to me. Like don't you JUST see their picture to decide if you're interested or not? It just enforces the false belief that appearance really matters in love. You just poured your heart out to your crush and all he/she does is respond “k”. What do you respond/do? Well, I don't have a crush anymore; my boyfriend and I literally exchanged "I love you"s last night. That's not a crush. But for the sake of the question, I'll imagine I was single and this happened, in which case I would be both hurt and annoyed. Like, either tell me you return the feelings or not. It's not hard. What's your favorite thing to order from McDonald’s? I usually get a quarter pounder w/ cheese or a McDouble, occasionally with a small or medium fry, depending on how hungry I am. When do you feel your sexiest? Never, hunny. What's your favorite emoji? I don't really have one? It just depends on what the situation calls for. What’s your skincare routine? I don't really have one... I just use a washcloth to clean my face. Who all out of your immediate family smokes? My dad and stepmom. Do you like incense or candles better? Incense, totally. Do you respect your parents? Yeah. What’s your bf/gf’s name? It's technically Donald Jr., but since high school, I've known him as Girt, a nickname I won't explain for his privacy. Do you wear glasses? Yeah. Do you like The Beatles? I honestly don't. Except "Hey, Jude." What was the last reason you got excited? Last night. When we were saying goodbye, I was scared to, but I told Girt I loved him, and he immediately said it back confidently. My heart did like five flips. I'm still over the moon about it. Yes, we just got back together, but we've been in each other's lives as a constant since HS, and after changing my angle of how I looked at him, it's not at all platonic anymore. Do you know anyone who drinks the pickle juice from the jar? Sara does alskdjfklwejrl;er Name something crazy that’s happened recently? Uhhhh... I dunno. My life is very uneventful to have something really "crazy" happen. Can you say for a fact that you’re happy right now? I'm happy about some things, but also nervous and self-doubtful. Have you ever zip lined? No, but they look fun. I'd just be really scared of losing my grip. If you broke your computer, would you be able to fix it on your own? Ha, no. Have you ever been on a boat and got sick? No, but the one time I was at the beach and on a boat riding to an island, I was TERRIFIED I was going to get sick because of the waves. I didn't, thankfully. Did you sleep well last night? For the most part. My new mask might just be working. Do your parents try and plan your life for you? Not at all. Do you have any pictures of you kissing someone? Yes. List two things about yourself that you find embarrassing. My weight and how dark my leg hair is. Do you like to cuddle with your pet when you are sad? Yes. Do you find piercing attractive or unattractive? h o t Do you have any secret hiding spots in your room? To put money, yes. Do you like parmesan cheese on your spaghetti? Ew, no. I don't like parmesan. Does your best girl friend have any talents that you don’t? Yeah. She can animate well, for one. And sing like a fucking champ. Do you have any video game systems in your room? Which one(s)? My Nintendo DS Lite is in here. Well, and my laptop is a gaming one. What color eyes does the last person you kissed have? ... Oh WOW I've known this man for a fuckin decade and somehow I'm not sure??? But I want to say light blue? Have you ever taken a ride in a helicopter? No. Have you ever visited hot springs? No. How slowly or quickly would you say you eat? I'm aware I eat too fast, because my mom will point it out almost without fail if we eat in sight of each other. I'm not a messy eater at all, just... fast. Chewing your food and swallowing isn't a complex task. I've made active efforts to slow down, I just haven't been able to succeed. It doesn't feel normal. That and I've come to discover that when I chew food TOO much, I don't like the mushy texture of it in my mouth. What did you do the last time you were with friends? Yesterday Girt and I planned to watch shitty Netflix anime for some laughs, but we wound up starting Attack on Titan, which I am officially pretty into. What kind of cologne/perfume do you like the opposite sex to wear? I don't care if they wear any or not, so long as they know how to clean themselves and therefore not actually smell bad. If you celebrate Christmas, do you get a real tree or an artificial tree? We always use a fake one. Is there someone who means a lot to you but they don’t know that? My sisters probably don't, really... Is money important to you? Live your whole life poor and I want to see you answer "no" to this. Have you ever watched a meteor shower? No. Do you like Slim Jims? LOOOOOOOVE them. Would you rather write a mystery or love story? Love story. Are you muscular? No. Working for it. Do you have one of those removable hand-held shower heads? Yes. Originally, this house didn't, but I hated it so much that Mom bought one. How many burners does your stove have? Four. Has your car ever been broken into? Mom's hasn't.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''blood milk and sky'' by white zombie

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fe-semi-decent-scenarios · 4 years

Note

Could I ask headcanons of Black Eagles flirting and crushing on Byleth (professor?)?

[Ask and you shall receive lol. Lately I’ve been busying myself with long reports, so I needed something cutsey to recharge.(Sorry if it’s complete rubbish lol) It’s not much but I hope you like it!]

Edelgard:

Ehh. She won’t be a student much longer anyways.

Byleth will always be her professor...but maybe another title can be ticked onto that list? She hopes so.

However, she doesn’t go too overboard. Just a few teasing gestures and quips every once in a while to sedate the budding sentiment in her heart

With more pressing issues over love, Edelgard can’t afford to play the role of lovesick schoolgirl

She sets side her personal feelings for the professor when around others. Instead they are treated as a good friend and adored instructor. Alongside the present given on Byleth’s birthday are a few other trinkets Edelgard picked up herself, you know, because she’s extra

When alone her thoughts often drift. There are many occasions where work ends up procrastinated

She keeps everything bottled up inside and doesn’t even hint at the idea of a crush to anyone. To love is to be compromised, to be compromised is to be weak, and to be weak is to fail

This is something she firmly believes until the support of her peers and affection from her professor begin to challenge it

Perhaps there is room for love in her future

“My teacher, you are an important companion to everyone here and to myself. You must never forget that”

Hubert:

Oh he is smooooth.

Yet subtle

He knows that he shouldn’t become too attached considering what’s to come in the future. His mind and body are her highness’ to command

....well, all good things come in moderation anyways. What’s a little meaningless flirting?

His flirting methods follow the ‘attack of opportunity’ plan. Meaning that he tosses in his quips when the time seems fitting

He knows what he is doing. Never assume otherwise

Obviously such conduct towards a teacher is unrefined. Does he care? The guy couldn’t give less of a sh*t

He has 100% commented on their dancing attire at least once

People should mind their own business lest they want to lose their tongue. Can’t gossip when you can’t speak, right?

If the professor doesn’t seem to mind then why should he stop? If they recuperate then that’s even better

It’s no fun when prey doesn’t fight back once in a while.

“Oh do go on. The droll behind your ever so taunting tone is intoxicating. It almost makes this insufferable lecture mildly entertaining” -shots fired. Professor or not, ‘love interest’ or enemy, Hubert does not tone down the sarcasm

No one even suspects that he has an interest in Byleth. He downright makes it appear that they are his sworn enemy (whether this is intentional or not? You decide)

Caspar:

‘Flirt’? ‘Caspar’? That’s funny

It’s not that he can’t do it. Caspar can be very charming when he wants to be, but why bother?

They’re his professor. If he starts kissing up to them then the others might start to think he’s pegging for special treatment

He also doesn’t want them to like a facade. He wants them to like him

Not that he would turn said special treatment down if offered. He d o e s want to get stronger, and the extra time with his “favorite”*wink* professor is a lucky bonus

He tends to have a ‘lingering eye’ that’s easy to pick up on if you catch my drift

he is not pure hearted, just a dunce. There is a difference

The boy blushes at every little action without even noticing

He loves to watch them train, both to better his own moves and to admire them without it seeming weird

Literally everyone knows that Caspar has a thing for Byleth before he knows it himself. He’s the kind that mistakes a crush for admiration

He’s also a big baby when it comes to them giving other people attention.

He justifies his interruptions as: “The professor doesn’t have time to do __ for __! They have enough to do as it is!”

Now what does that translate to in Caspar language?: “The time the professor spends doing __ is time they could spend with our class me”

Someone help him. He’s so thick headed it’s actually sad

Petra:

“My apologies. I will be returning after the clearing of my head”

She’s unfamiliar with the courting methods in Fodlan. Are they the same as in Bridgid?

Thoughts of the professor occasionally will interfere with her study time

Also her appetite. Normally she eats plenty at meals since she hates waste, but the professor makes her nervous about her etiquette

let’s just ignore that Byleth eats like a ravenous boar

She wants to take them to see Bridgid. It’s only natural to want to share the things you love with those you care about

She embraces the affection she feels. Byleth is a truly wonderful person and the royal family would gladly accept them if Petra expressed her feelings

When she returns she wants to ask them to accompany her

For now she will remain at their side both in battle, in leisure, and in spirit

Petra also isn’t one to approach with caution. The way she flirts is through honesty

If they do something she likes then she says so. If they look nice or are trying something new then she’ll comment on it. If she sees something in the shop that they might like, then she buys it

Petra is simple. She does for Byleth what she thinks will make them happy and doesn’t overthink it in the slightest

Dorothea:

The newfound feelings aren’t discouraged nor appreciated. It is a battle between practicality and love for her

Not because of them being a professor, but everything else

Mercenary, teacher, reincarnate, solider, tactician, etc.

Such a dangerous profession with so much blood on their hands. Are those the ones she wants to hold for the rest of their days?

Will they even live long enough to grow old with her?

She wants a reliable partner to take care of her and not give her a heart attack on a daily basis. So far only one box is checked

She will not be a widow at such a young age. She refuses

When these thoughts emerge Dorothea retracts from Byleth. There’s still the open friendliness that was there before, but now an extra barrier has been put up

She won’t go out of her way to give Byleth special treatment. Her search for a partner other than them will continue on

Maybe she’ll find someone else to smash these feelings so that there will be no need to confront them

Only after they ‘die’ will she stop suppressing them.

“To think that it took such a disaster for me to see the light. Why do people realize such things when it’s too late?” - she focuses on personal growth until the reunion. Relying on another person to prevent the past from reappearing is not what she wants.

Ferdinand:

The best way that Ferdinand can communicate his feelings is through words

He tries. He really tries to come across as a potential life partner for the professor. He can only be a student for so long, and they’re close in age. Logically there is nothing wrong with the possibility of a courtship

but because speaking ‘frilly’ is a normality the effect is not like how he hoped

When Ferdinand falls, he falls hard. Yes, he is a flirt. Yes, he stretches himself thin trying to please everyone. Yes, he has his quirks that make him extremely confrontational

So when he finds someone with the ability to make him both strengthen his morals, question the bigger picture, and grow as an individual (after the whole ‘noble’ mine-bomb) it’s a big deal

Therefore he will not relent in his pursuit of Byleth unless they explicitly tell him to stop. If words don’t work then he instantly pegs for quality time and acts of affirmation

Greets them every morning, carries their supplies, invites them to tea, delivers lost items, etc. People really do peg him as a kiss ass.

He doesn’t get the ‘heart flutters’ that people talk about. When he’s beside the professor he just feels energized. Like he could actually beat Edelgard ‘could’ is the key word in that scentence

“Good morning Professor! If your schedule allows it, would you care to join me for tea later this afternoon? Your company would make it the perfect level of sweetness”

Linhardt:

A firm believer of “age is but a number”

It’s more of his personal beliefs that tone down any pursuit of the professor. They are currently in a position of power over him that halts any relationship progression at a professional level.

So as any healthy person does: he vents any growing affection into his studies

He h a t e s how they make him restless.He’ll be feeling drowsy one moment but then their face will pop into his mind

He can’t even sleep through class. Not with them there

Actually works in the class’ favor since he starts contributing to the lectures. If you can’t beat them then might as well join them

This is how it is during pre-timeskip for the most part. Occasionally he will let his thoughts slip but never any action

He has crests to research and Byleth has students that seemingly want to die by the hour. There is literally no time to flirt

Now AFTER the timeskip, things are different. Linhardt is a blunt person which sometimes works in his favor. Just so happens that flirting comes naturally to him

most of the time it doesn’t though

“Could you refrain from doing that? It’s distracting” “Linhardt, i’m stretching. How is that distracting?” “You are an attractive individual. Need I say more?”

Life is short. He has no filter

Bernadetta:

“HI PROFESSOR!” “Afternoon Bernadetta. I see you’re out of your room today” “W-what? OH! Yes. Y-y-yEs i aM IM SORRY I’LL GO BACK PLEASE DON’T PATRONIZE MEEEEE”

She’s scared. What’s new?

The girl never expected to have these feelings. One night she was painting when what was supposed to be a cloud began to resemble her professor

It was downhill from there.

Her behavior is exactly the same as prior to her feelings. Being a naturally jittery person works to her advantage, no one suspects a thing!

Compared to simply being friends it will take longer for her to be comfortable

She will avoid Byleth at all times outside of lessons. It’s just too hard to communicate anymore

Eventually her outer shell will crack. The once new feelings will begin to feel normal and the old bernie will be back. Jittery, hyperactive, kind, lovable bernie

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coreastories · 4 years

Text

The Morning Before

Part 11 of Days and Nights of Forever

The morning before she let him go, for what could well have been forever.

Companion to the first part of The Thirteenth Rule

I love Episode 15. So much tenderness there, and so much heartbreak that it's my first time rewatching certain scenes when I finally decided to flesh out THIS outline.

This is for Patty @pateetsie, who sent me a bucket of joy, and wanted some fluff. There's fluff here. :)

I've been cussed out told that there is no fluff in this chapter at all AT ALL. 😅

It was raining. Soft rain. The kind that washed away sleet if any had come in the cold night, the kind that spring asserted against any last vestiges of winter. And she was warm, so very warm with Gon spooning her and breathing onto her hair under their shared blanket.

She wiped her eyes and swallowed the sniffling that had woken her up. He was here. There was no need for this.

Gon tightened his arms around her--gently, without disturbing her wound--and kissed her on her hairline. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

She turned in his arms and she saw love and… something else in his eyes. She focused on love. Focused on how he looked like he wanted to kiss her. Focused on all the affection in that gaze. So she smiled at him and smiled wider when she saw that other thing recede from his eyes, even if just for now.

His eyes brightened even more when she stroked his arm, clad in the sleeves of hospital pajamas. “What happened to your clothes? You didn’t get stabbed too while I was asleep?”

“Your nurse happened. She gave me this to wear and took my clothes to the laundry. She felt sorry for me trying to fit into this bed in those clothes.”

“Oh yeah. That jacket certainly wasn’t for sleeping in.” She made a face. “Were they filthy?”

He grinned. “I don’t know. Probably. Frozen time and space also worked on my entire excretory system but I did go out of that place several times. Did I smell when you saw me in 2016? And last night? I’ve showered before getting back in here with you.”

She shook her head, laughing.

The rain continued in the background, falling a little harder, but still a soft, pleasant background as he kissed her.

Tae-Eul sighed into that kiss, loving the feel of his lips and tongue against hers and ignoring the tears that spilled from her eyes again. He had also kissed her last night, but she was already half asleep by then, exhausted from everything, her adrenaline and her brain shutting down the moment Gon was finally there beside her, promising he wouldn’t leave her.

So now she focused on that kiss. And nothing else. The sound of the rain helped.

He brushed his thumbs against her cheeks and eyes, and kissed her eyelids and forehead, his hand a warm, solid weight on her cheek and neck. She placed her hand over his, wrapping her fingers around his thumb.

He nodded.

“I’m sorry,” he said again.

She shook her head again. “Don’t mind me. I’m just glad you’re here. Don’t go.”

They both ignored what returned to his eyes.

She moved to get up and he nimbly jumped off the bed and rounded it to help her sit up without straining her middle.

She usually had to roll to her right side and then use her elbow and arm to lever herself up. But he made things simple, wrapping his arm around her and simply lifting her up.

She smiled up at him. “Thanks. Can you help me? My hair wash day was supposed to be yesterday. But I was busy.”

His expression said he wasn’t happy about that, but he grinned all the same. “Of course. I can help you wash everything.”

She slapped him on the arm and left him to laugh at his own dorkiness, pushing him aside to go to the bathroom.

Having him there helped. Instead of struggling over the sink and getting the front of her hospital gown wet anyway despite covering it with a towel, he held a wash basin under her chin so she didn’t have to bend over to wash her face.

They did the same thing when she brushed her teeth.

Then he used the already damp towel to cushion the rim of the sink. He helped her position her head on that towel cushion just so, and he washed her hair, digging his fingers into her scalp, his eyes warm and attentive. Watching for any discomfort. Watching, period. She held his gaze for the first minute, then closed her eyes because the sight of him just...filled her so much and made her spill over with tears. It was ridiculous.

But was it only yesterday that she didn’t know if she was ever going to see him again?

Only yesterday when she felt both sad and relieved that she wasn’t--

She took a deep breath. She wasn’t going to dwell on any of that today.

They had today and she hoped it was going to be a long day.

She opened her eyes and he was still looking at her, now with one hand guiding the handheld shower over her hair and the other on her forehead so the water from her rinse wouldn’t run down her face.

“You’re really good at this. You can go professional.”

“No one would hire me. Everyone else would lose their tips because the customers would flock to me.”

They both laughed. She loved seeing him laugh. She had missed that laugh so much.

He wrapped her hair in the towel, tucking everything carefully so she wouldn’t drip, and then helped her get up again. Once she was on her feet, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and tucked her against him.

Her arms were already around his waist, her hands stroking his back. She loved how warm he felt under the thick cotton pajamas. Loved the solid feel of him enclosing her. Loved the weight of his head as he pressed his cheek against the towel securely knotted around her hair.

Loved that he was there for her to hold.

They stayed like that, just holding each other, until they heard someone enter her hospital room outside the en suite. He took her hand and they went out together. The nurse paused on her way out the door. She looked at them and smiled.

“I left your clothes there for you,” she said to Gon, then turned to Tae-Eul. “They’ll send breakfast in a bit. I’ll make sure it’s enough for two. Then I’ll come back with your IV and check on your wound.”

She just smiled again when they both bowed to thank her.

Tae-Eul looked at Gon. “What did you tell her? Why does she love us so much? She wasn’t happy with me last night.”

He raised his eyebrows and smiled in that half-smug, half-self-deprecating way only he could pull off. “Maybe we just look good and romantic?”

“Romantic is not the word in my head right now, but it rhymes.”

Breakfast was quick. She just wanted to start the day. Maybe they could sneak out now that the rain had stopped and the sun was out. She was already done with her bowl of dakjuk before it occurred to her that she could have made Gon feed her. Ridiculous thought. But maybe later.

The nurse came back and scolded Tae-Eul for removing her IV while she redid it all. Tae-Eul didn’t flinch, but Gon did. When the nurse left, Tae-Eul said, “You’re not scared of needles, are you?”

“Of course not. But this is the second time I’m seeing you with an IV. That’s two times too many.”

“I’ll take an IV over a cast any day.”

He rolled his eyes but only shook his head in wry amusement.

He changed back to his black pullover and trousers in the en suite and then they were back to staring at each other while he blow dried her hair.

She wanted to ask him what he was thinking of, but she already knew, so she took hold of his pullover between her fingers, and it was enough to quiet her rising panic.

“I bet you take longer getting your hair done.”

“Not really. It’s fast when you have the right tools and two people doing the work,” he said with a straight face. He laughed at the look on her face. “It’s really just mousse and gel, you know.”

“Why don’t you just slick it back like Jo Yeong does with his hair?”

“Too easy. And he’s been doing it since he got tired of his bowl cut. So I can’t exactly copy him.”

“He had a bowl cut?”

“Yeah. It looked ridiculous. You were so cute as a kid. I saw your pictures at your house, of course, but seeing you in person was different. You were probably so cute as a baby.”

“No, no, I wasn’t a pretty baby.” This wasn’t a subject she wanted, though she applauded herself for being able to say the word baby now. She was going to be fine. “Let’s go downstairs for my checkup so we can go outside.”

She was glad Gon didn’t have to be there when her bandage was changed. The wound was clean but still angry, and it was going to leave an inch of scarring despite the good stitching. She took her antibiotics and the nurse injected another dose of pain meds in her IV.

She wondered how long she could stay awake with those doses in her bloodstream, but she managed. Oh, she managed.

That morning was beautiful, even if she was warned against straining herself and had to be wheeled around, even if Gon was already steeling himself against that regret and unassailable decision she’d seen in his eyes, even with her barely hanging on to composure by touching him all she could.

He fed her bibimbap, and she fed him his bowl of instant ramyeon in return. When one noodle was too violent and broth splashed all over both their faces, they wiped each other’s cheeks and mouths with their hands, laughing hard enough for her wound to twinge and remind her it was still there.

He helped her wash up, and then he helped her lie down because it was probably so obvious that she was fighting sleep.

She curled up facing him in his seat, and she memorized everything about him, that ridiculously perfect hair, his beautiful eyes, that nose, that cheek that hid her favorite dimple, those lips she knew could turn her breathless and mindless and boneless.

And his hands, both clasped and completely enveloping her hand. Those big hands that could deftly handle chalk, shoot hoops, fix cars, knock men down with a single stroke from his sword or his crop, hands that commanded the manpasikjeok and yet were also trapped by the manpasikjeok.

She closed her eyes so she wouldn’t cry again. “You’ll probably leave when I sleep.”

“No.”

All right. She’d take that. She smiled. She wanted to say, “Don’t go.” But that was no longer right to say now, not when their morning was fast turning into evening. She would sleep, and then maybe when she woke up, she would have a better argument than simply telling him they should just… not save the world.

She opened her eyes to drink him in, one last time. “Saranghae.”

He stroked her hair and pressed his lips to hers for several long moments. “Nado.”

#CoreaNews #CoreaFiction #the king eternal monarch #the king: eternal monarch #TKEM fanfic

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dreamerandcrazy · 3 years

Text

Ok, so I haven't been able to comment much on my Riverdale rewatch mostly bc i'm watching it with my boyfriend and we have an agreement of no cell phones when we're watching, otherwise we can't pay proper attention to it. But I wrote down some notes about the episodes I did watch (I watched up until ep 6, which is very ironic bc apparently today is its anniversary, so yay for my perfect timing). I actually remember most of the stuff that happened in s1, so here's mostly a few things I paid more attention to or noticed about the characters and the ships, or things i'm able to look at through a different view now that i've watched all the seasons. Strap in if you want to see my notes, if not just scroll please, no ship or character hate here please. Also, feel free to ignore, this is really just a personal look in some stuff I didn't notice in my first watch.

- Betty's character used to be much happier and lighter in season 1. I know we're introduced to "Dark Betty" right in episode 3, but still, I feel like the way Lili played Betty in season 1 did not hold the same "darkness" as it does in the following seasons. The scene where she is dancing happily in her bedroom because she's going to homecoming with the boy she likes? The scene where she introduces Jughead to the Blue & Gold and gets him to work with her? Her genuine innocent happiness at seeing her sister again after so much time? The way she interacted with Kevin and Veronica? Those were all chef's kiss because she actually feels like a teenager in them. In all her girly glory, she radiates youth energy and it's a thing that was sadly lacking after s1. Btw this is not a critique at Lili's acting at all, I blame it entirely on Ras and his obsession with dark Betty.

- There's actually so many indications of Cheryl being a lgbt character in the first episodes that I have no idea how I missed it the first time. But then again, there were many indications with Veronica as well, and sadly that's not the path Ras chose for her.

- Jughead in s1 is truly so superior in so many ways that it's not hard to see why he quickly became such a fan favorite. I think even if he wasn't played by Cole Sprouse, he still would have conquered many fans' hearts. Sadly, the things that made Jughead such a loving and interesting character for me also fizzled out in s2 when the writing team decided to make him a woke serpent leader instead of allowing him to sticking to his true personality as a passionate mystery lover, a dedicated friend and very nerdy, which was very cute. I feel that we got some of that back for him in s4, which was good, but sadly s1 is where my love for him really stayed to stay. But I still care for him, and s5 has a promising storyline for him which i'm excited about, so let's see if s5 Jughead can become better than s1 Jughead.

- Going back again to Cheryl for a sec, I just noticed that the red lipstick actually wasn't that common for her in s1? At least not in the first five. I wonder when did it start becoming her trademark? Anyways, it's actually a really good look her and allows you to appreciate Madelaine's natural beauty even more.

- Also, did anybody notice how Alice lowkey figured out who killed Jason in ep 2 lmao, like... in episode two she legit says she wouldn't be surprised if the Blossoms themselves had killed Jason, which... is what happened LMAO, considering we know it was his father. And even more hilarious and tragically ironic note, in ep 6 she's laughing at Betty suggesting that Hal killed Jason because "do you think your father has the stomach for it?!"... Ma'am... i'm-.... 😂😂😂😂.

- This rewatch has reminded me of how much I adored and how I much I miss Josie and the Pussycats. The girls were such a nice addition to the cast, and their songs were so beautiful. I truly wish we get to see them again someday, but at the same time I also think the actresses deserve to be at a work place where they're given the treatment they deserve and not completely ignored and treated like extras.

- Archie/Valerie was super cute and is very underrated in the fandom, but i'm glad Valerie stood up for herself and didn't take any of Archie's or Cheryl's sh*t. Still sucks because they were really good together, though.

- Why was Jason not allowed to talk, lmao? Like, i'm sure it's become a running joke in the show at this point, but back when season one was airing what was the excuse for it? He appeared in so many flashbacks and scenes and we still never heard a single word ☠️☠️☠️☠️. I just want to know what was the reason lol.

- I liked s1 Reggie, but I feel like Charles Melton's Reggie is better because he actually feels like a douche with good intentions lol, and he has more of a personality. Most of the time I even forgot about Reggie in s1, but after s2 he definitely made me more aware of him. So for that, I like Charles Melton's Reggie more. But the actor from s1 still did a good job with what he was given.

From now on I will be talking about the ships, so bear with me, and know that I am a multishipper. Yes, I have my preferences. No, my word is not law, it's just an opinion, so please respect it.

- Bughead is still super cute in s1. I feel like from s1 they will always be my otp, even if I no longer feel as strongly about them now and have a different insight as to where I would like their story to go, and now I definitely see the problem others had mentioned before of how they kind of took over the show, which is something I kind of closed my eyes to before... But I really loved them in s1. It felt like a very juvenile teenage relationship, they didn't give much thought on why and if they should be together, they just went for it like teenagers usually do, and they were very very cute together.

- I feel like if you don't count Beronica (because they really were the best no matter what you say or ship), if there's a ship that deserves "best chemistry" award for s1 is probably Varchie. I lost my interest in them years ago, but this rewatch reminded me of why I actually loved them once. They never really became an otp for me, but Kj and Camila's chemistry in s1 was VERY GOOD, and I really liked them. Their kiss in the pilot was electric and the s&xual tension was OOF, and that chemistry carries on through the season. You can easily tell something will happen between them eventually. It makes me sad bc I don't know what happened after s1, but their chemistry from s2 onwards was just... not there for me. Which is ironic bc it's the season they truly started dating and they got a lot of smexy scenes, but I just... didn't feel it. But I'll leave that comment to my s2 rewatch. For now just let me enjoy Varchie's chemistry in s1 while it lasts because it was really good.

- Now we get to Barchie, who I made clear was the reason for my rewatch, so let's get to it. I LOVED the way Barchie was written in s1. I remember when I first watched Riverdale, I was curious about their dynamic but didn't put much thought into it because I loved Bughead too much and wanted them to be together, and I thought Barchie would be the traditional "first og ship" thing and wouldn't have a big follow up, but boy was I WRONG and am I GLAD for it. I'll talk more about their development in the next seasons when I get there, so for now let's focus a bit on s1. Just in like the first two episodes, there is so much Barchie foreshadowing, like, it's legit insane how it was right there in my face and I missed it the first time! "I have never felt what i'm supposed to feel with betty", "it's not my fault he doesn't like you", "I can't give you the answer you want"... Omg, those are obvious eyebrow raising "this will come back to bite you in the a$$" moments and it's incredible how they actually DO! I would call it clever writing, but like... it's Riverdale lol. So I really am just glad that the ship was done this way, i'm glad Barchie has the back story that they do, they've really come a LONG way and i'm happy I get to experience their whole growing storyline. It's also especially good because s1 actually provides you with scenes that show you their friendship and how they're so close, you see them hanging out, talking, their pictures together, everything was just really done well with them. Still have a bit of critique with the way Archie contradicted himself sometimes regardinf his feelings for Betty, but let's be honest, we've watched enough Riverdale to know that's just a problem with the writing.

- Kevin/Joaquin is still my favorite Kevin ship, i'm sad it's completely impossible to go back to them someday so for now i'll just be really glad it existed and that I got to see them even if it was short-lived. They had great chemistry and their kiss scenes always outsold.

- Beronica... sigh. Beronica. The most wasted chemistry i've ever seen on CW and I've watched a LOT of CW shows. There was so much potential there, s1 was practically overflowing with them and it's one of the reasons it became some popular. I remember when the Beronica fandom was the biggest one, ah, good times. Veronica and Betty were easily the best part of season 1, their friendship, their lowkey romantic moments, they were just superior in every way. This ship deserved better, not even just as a ship, but as a friendship.

- Veronica's s1 hair >>> Veronica's hair in seasons 2-4. I loved the side part and I am glad it's back in season 5, it looks so much better like that.

- Cheryl, as always, deserves better. Can't wait for her to meet Toni so I can watch again Cheryl finally get to love someone and be loved back, which is exactly what she deserves.

For now, that is all! I will probably make another post soon when i'm done with season one and from season two on I will be live-blogging the episodes since I will be watching it alone. Once again, pls, no hate, my thoughts are my thoughts. Peace.

#bri rewatches riverdale #riverdale #barchie #choni

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spnjediavenger · 4 years

Text

Who You Are (Sam x teen!sister!reader)

Title: Who You Are (Sam x teen!sister!reader)

Type: one-shot

Warnings: self harm scars, brief talk of SH (nothing at all graphic), depression, some bullying and angst

Spoilers: none

Notes: I in no way fantasize self harm, i’ve struggled with it which is why i wrote this. If you struggle/have struggled, you are much stronger than you think! Just know you're not alone and that there's so much help out there!

Also, sorry for the lack of Dean. As much as I love him (though I’m still totally a Sam girl), I see Sam as more of the better/easier one to talk to for emotional topics.

Y/n took long, fast strides as she neared the bunker, anxious to get inside and forget about her day at school.

Y/n was Sam and Dean’s half sister. After she lost her immediate family, the boys took her in and did all they could to give her a normal(ish) life. She wanted to go to school like a normal teenager. Live out her high school years like a normal kid would do. Have normal classes and normal, non-hunting friends. Not that she had anything against hunters, but she wanted to avoid any outside hunting stimuli.

When she got to the bunker, it became a big home. She got very close to Sam, Dean, and Cas. She was able to get away from her past struggles and was ready to get back to school and start over. But today, and days prior, she was sad to see that just wouldn’t be the case.

Y/n could always see the stares. But she didn’t care. She knew almost everyone had bullies; she could ignore hers. She wouldn’t let them get the best of her. But as the days and weeks went on, it got harder and harder to ignore them. The lines on her wrist and light ones up her arm made sure of that.

Losing her family was hard on her, as it would be on anyone. But her underlying mental illness made it that much worse. Even with Sam and Dean saving her and taking her in, she turned to cutting. It was a release, gave her some semblance of control, and the physical pain took precedence over her emotional pain.

But with the boys’ help, she was eventually able to stop. And she was able to move on from that part of her life. She still didn’t feel comfortable showing her scars and often wore long sleeves. So when they rolled up one day, Y/n was unfortunate enough to have a lot of others see.

“Freak.”

“Couldn’t you do anything else?”

“Weak.”

“What’s wrong with her?”

Shame.

“She’s messed up.”

“Why would you do that to yourself?”

Shame.

Though the comments weren’t always hateful persay, they still hurt because they made her feel alone and misunderstood. Today she got an extra dose of it when some bullies were picking on her. Blaming her for being careless, weak, and stupid. They made her feel shameful of what she did. For her actions that will forever be indented into her skin.

So, Y/n threw the bunker door open, quickly closing it behind her and running down the stairs. Sam was sitting at a table in the library, Dean gone on a solo hunt, and looked through the war room upon hearing her.

“Hey, kiddo. How was school?” he called as he turned his head. Though by the time he asked, Y/n was already gone. Uh oh, he thought. Sam lightly sighed, closed his book, set it down, and headed to Y/n’s room. Walking down the hallways, he finally approached her door. “Y/n?” he said, lightly tapping his knuckles on the wood. “Y/n/n, can I come in?”

He almost didn’t hear it, but a quiet, small-sounding ‘sure’ came from the girl’s room. Sam opened the door to find Y/n laying on her side, facing away from him, sniffling quietly. Sam sighed again and went to sit at the edge of her bed. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“Nothing,” Y/n whispered, shaking her head a little. She knew Sam would see right through her lies, but she didn’t want to look weak in front of him. She was supposed to be past her struggles - over the hurt and the pain.

Sam almost rolled his eyes at her stubbornness were she not upset right now. “You know I can tell you’re lying, right?” he lightly jested her. He grew serious again before adding, “Really, what’s wrong? You know you can talk to me about anything.”

Y/n sniffled before sitting up against the headboard of her bed and wrapping her arms around her legs, still not looking at Sam. He looked at her patiently, but his concerned expression willed her to speak. Y/n sighed. “It’s just-...just some kids being jerks,” she said, eyes downcast as she felt ashamed for letting people getting to her, as well as what they shamed her for.

Sam’s heart panged with empathy. “I know the feeling. I was bullied when I was in high school too. And I know it’s easier said than done, but you can’t let them get to you. How long has this been going on?”

Y/n shrugged. “Since starting I guess. But I was always able to handle it…”

“So what changed?” Sam asked, worry lines creasing his forehead.

He caught the movement of her hand unconsciously going to hold her left wrist, a couple tears finally escaping her eyes. That told him all he needed. Sam sighed as his heart got heavy. Not just at his sister’s hurt, but at how people could be so ignorant.

The younger Winchester brother scooted up to fully sit on Y/n’s bed. He ran his hands comfortingly down her arms until he reached her wrists, untangling them from around her legs.

“Y/n, don’t listen to those kids. They have no idea the pain you went through that drove you to do that. You-”

“I was weak, Sam,” she whimpered. “I messed up by doing these things and I’m stupid for-”

“Y/n Winchester, you listen to me,” Sam interrupted her, voice shaking with emotion. Y/n finally looked him in the eyes to see his tearing up as well. “Those kids don’t decide who you are. You do. And if you look back and see the strength it took for you to reach out, get help, and quit cutting, you’ll see yourself as a strong, brave young woman who survived her own personal hell.” Sam paused to grab the left sleeve of her shirt, making Y/n grab his hand, squeezing her eyes shut and clenching her teeth to keep a cry from escaping.

Sam put his free hand to lovingly cup her cheek to make her look at him again. “Y/n, it’s ok. Don’t be ashamed of these,” he continued, successfully pushing her sleeve up to reveal the group of scars, some different shades and different thicknesses than others. He ran a thumb over the lines and gave her a sad, tearful smile. Y/n closed her eyes again as she finally let out a soft sob. “Don’t be ashamed of your scars. They’re a sign of your strength and are a reminder of how far you’ve come. Other people might not understand that, but I want you to. Alright?”

Y/n nodded and sobbed again as Sam pulled her into a hug, holding her head against his shoulder. He gave his sister a kiss on her temple and rested his head against hers. “You are so strong, Y/n. If I need to remind you every day, I will. Please don’t be ashamed of what you did or who you are.” Y/n nodded against his chest and hugged him tighter.

“I love you, Sammy,” she cried.

Sam wiped a hand down his face to clear the tears away. “I love you too, sis. Dean and I both do. And we’re proud as hell of who you are, baby girl.”

A/N: I wrote this one a little in haste as well cuz it was something I've had in my mind. I hide my scars like this but only around my dad cuz i know he views them so negatively and i dont have the emotional capacity to deal with that on a daily basis.

Anyway, if you have scars and struggle with your image like i do sometimes, don’t let anyone make you doubt yourself or your worth cuz they have no idea the pain you’ve been through that drove you to those actions. A line in one of my favorite songs goes, “every scar on my skin is a beautiful reminder/of a moment when I didn't give in and I walked through fire” (Warrior by Hannah Kerr). Hang in there!

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic #SPN #SPN FANDOM #spn fanfic #spn fanfiction #Sam Winchester #sam and dean #Sam and Dean Winchester #x reader #spn x reader #spn x teen!reader #spn x sister figure!reader #self harm scars #mental health awareness #winchester sister

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