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#anyways this all makes me happy and forget about my exam and i don't even know why but yeah :)))
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suicide tw
I am usually against anyone contemplating suicide but also the more I think about me and how I interact with others, the more I can't help but realize that it is impossible for me not to be toxic in one way or another (if not worse), and it would take a lot less time and effort to just kill myself. I also wouldn't be inevitably hurting people during the process of getting better.
#sunny#i just think it would honestly make more sense and be more productive#1) i can't hurt anyone else if i'm dead#2) the people i've hurt in the past get to never have the risk of being hurt by me again#(+ they get to have the relief and happiness that my death would bring them in the first place)#3) the only people who would miss me would be one friend and my mom and honestly? i have been the worst child ever to my mom#she would probably be happier in the long run. and that friend *would* forget me and move on pretty quickly#because they have lots of friends themselves and i'm not as important to them as they are to me#4) the fear of fucking up my future will be gone. and i don't have to *care* about my future at all#all the anxiety i get from thinking of even planning my future will simply Not Be There Anymore#5) i can't be a creep if i'm dead! see multiple mental breakdowns about someone whom i haven't talked to in nearly a year#(+ the embarrassment of telling someone 'you're a great friend' in a moment of weakness even though i know that i am nothing to them)#(that'll be gone too!)#6) people *can* talk badly about me in ways i'd normally eventually know about it#(always a plus.)#7) generally who tf cares if i'm still alive or not by the end of the year. my class might even get their graduation with no exam!#yk that whole deal of 'if a student dies in the middle of the year the whole class graduates automatically'#that would be very cool actually. especially for one of my classmates who's really struggling#and finally 8) i know like 3 people anyway. my death would have exactly no impact on anything#so judging from the pros and cons. why not !#vent#jesus i'm gonna have to tag this#suicide tw#tw suicidal thoughts#suicidal ideation tw#tw suicidal ideation#tw death#and eveything else blah blah blah
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What The Heart Wants - Kai Parker One Shot
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*not my gif
Pairing: human!Forbes!Reader X Heretic!Kai
Character Name: Hannah Forbes
(This IS a reader insert fic; I just don't like writing with Y/N in the place of names. Use Hannah as a placeholder for Y/N)
Requested: Yes
Word Count: 2,224
Description: Everyone told Caroline's innocent little sister to stay away from Kai Parker, but there's no controlling what the heart wants, is there?
Warnings: SMUT (if you are under 18, scroll away please!), minor swearing, blood, non-verbal consent (nodding, not a verbal "Yes"), oral sex (female receiving), and unprotected sex (be safe, friends!)
The story begins after the break! Happy reading :)
Hannah’s POV:
Stupid Shakespearian Literature was driving me insane. As if I didn’t read enough Shakespeare in high school, I signed up for it at Whitmore, too. Just excellent decision-making. I had an exam tomorrow, and I was going to remember nothing. Groaning aloud, I collapsed onto my textbook. “No. Come on, Hannah. Get it together.” Closing the textbook and my eyes, I paced around the room, reciting facts about Shakespeare’s life that I would forget the second I turned my exam in.
“Shakespeare’s father made… shoes for a living? No. Gloves. He made gloves. What celestial bodies were named after Shakespearian characters? Moons!” I had to cram every mind-numbing fact into my brain over and over. This was going to take all night. “Shakespeare had… twelve siblings? No. Seven?”
“Seven siblings? Sheesh. I had seven siblings once, and they drove me crazy. I feel for the old dude.” Squealing in surprise, I grabbed the object nearest to me and chucked it in the direction of the voice. Kai snatched the pencil pouch out of the air deftly, waving it in greeting. “Hey, human Barbie. Studying for an exam?”
“What the- how’d you even get in here?” Raising my eyebrows – and desperately trying to calm my racing heart – I took the pencil pouch back and tossed it onto my desk. “Your door was unlocked.” My eyes narrowed. “No, it wasn’t. My sister and her friends are all vampires. I don’t ever leave my door unlocked.”
“Well, do you think a locked door is really going to deter a vampire?” I continued staring at him with a false exasperated expression. Truthfully, I could pretend to dislike him all I wanted. There was something… magnetic about him. The more I was told to stay away, the more I wanted him around. “Ahem. Anyways, you want some help studying?”
~~~ One Hour Later - Kai's POV:
“When did Shakespeare write Julius Caesar?” Hannah was still pacing around and had been for an hour now. It was actually cute how much she still cared about school when she was surrounded by vampires, witches, werewolves, and God-knows-what-else. I found it refreshing, honestly. She was like a stubborn flame that refused to go out no matter how hard the world tried. I, on the other hand, could keel over with one blow. I just pretended like I didn’t. “Uhm… 1588?”
“Close, 1599.” I swallowed back a snicker, hiding my face in my mug. “How is that close? I was over a decade off!”
“Well, you got the century right. I think you’re gonna do just fineeee.” Her frustrated little sigh was adorable. “Okay, you’re officially not helping. Give me the textbook back, Kai.” Smirking, I stood up off the couch and held the book above my head. “You can try to grab it if you can, but the study session ends when the tutor says so.”
Hannah jumped upwards, swiping at the air. Given our proximity, I could hear her heart racing. It wasn’t entirely because of this whole adventure of retrieving her book. It was something else. I knew because I probably listened to her heart flutter more than anyone. It calmed me, and I knew its sound by my own heart.
“I can hear your heartbeat. It’s like a little hummingbird’s wings.” My smirk grew, and my eyes gleamed down at her in the soft lighting of her room. She halted mid-jump, settling back on the ground like a startled feather. A blush crept onto her cheeks, and it was one I had to take advantage of. I sang out, “I think someone has a little crush on meeeee,” knowing full well I had a huge crush on her myself.
In the midst of my teasing, I must have lowered my arm. Hannah ripped the textbook away from my clutches, slicing her finger on it in the process. I immediately took a step back and turned away, not wanting to hurt her. I was new to being a Heretic, and my vampirism frightened me. She set the book aside, her eyes now shining with concern. “Kai…”
“Don’t come any closer to me, Hannah.” I could smell the scent of her blood and it took over my every rational thought. When I looked up at my reflection in her full-length mirror, I saw the deep purple veins of bloodlust encroach around my eyes. “Y-you don’t have to hide.” She was being brave, but I heard the quiver in her voice. “Just stay where you are.”
Hannah’s POV:
Everyone told me that Kai was a monster, a villain I was never supposed to go near. They were wrong. He is so much more than that. He is kinder than someone who has faced what he has could possibly be. Villains pride themselves on things; he’s terrified of the very parts that make him dangerous. Taking a step close to him, I put my uninjured hand on Kai’s shoulder. “Kai…”
“I said, don’t!” He whipped around to face me, and his eyes grew darker as they met mine. Swallowing my fear, I raised my bleeding finger closer to him. “It’s okay. I trust you, Kai.” I did trust him. I trusted him as much as my sister, the Salvatores, Elena…
Kai seemed torn, and I could see how desperately he wanted to save me from him. He should have known I didn’t want to be saved. Not from him. The thread of his self-control snapped, then. Kai took my finger into his mouth, groaning softly at his need being satisfied.
Without warning, he swept me into his arms, his teeth tearing into my neck. It was painful at first, and every human instinct in my body told me to shove him off. Suddenly, the feeling turned from one of pain into one of pleasure. It was quite literally unlike anything I had felt before. It couldn’t possibly always feel this good, could it? After a few more moments, a soft moan escaped my lips. Kai hesitated but pulled away, licking my wound closed for good measure.
The flick of his tongue sent a shiver down my spine. Our eyes bore into each other’s, and without another word, Kai crashed his lips to mine. Maybe it was my blood, our attraction to each other, or some mixed frenzy of both. It didn’t matter. People could tell me to stay away from him forever. The heart wants what the heart wants.
Kai’s POV:
If I thought her blood was intoxicating, I wasn’t prepared for her kiss. It lit a fire within me, and I couldn’t help myself. Pressing her body against mine, I made sure her legs were wrapped around my waist before carrying her to her bed. Sitting down with Hannah in my lap, I enclosed my arms around her like a vise. She wasn’t going anywhere unless it was by my side.
Letting her breathe, I suckled on the soft skin of her neck. She fell onto me, making my grip on her tighten. There was no more need for words. Her hands gently but firmly grabbed my face and pressed our lips together once more. Before a blink, I flipped her over and laid her down. One hand held my body hovering above hers; the other began snaking under her top. Before it moved any further, I pulled away. A silent question lingered in my eyes, and Hannah nodded readily. That was all the permission I needed.
With quick but steady precision, I tossed her top aside. Her skin shone in the dim lamp lighting strewn across her room. She tugged at the hem of my shirt, and I obeyed quickly, all but ripping it off my torso. I kissed her again, unable to keep my lips from hers for long. My greedy hands traveled over her smooth exposed skin, utterly desperate to feel every inch of her. Before she could comprehend, I was stripping her leggings off, wantonly dragging my hands over her shapely legs.
Our eyes connected in the dark as I hooked my palms under her thighs, spreading them apart to take what I wanted. My fingers pressed into her, testing the water. The wetness I felt and the arch her spine gave was an enticing answer. “You’ve wanted this for a long time, haven’t you?” She was too shy to answer, and I couldn’t blame her. I’d wanted her since I’d laid eyes on her.
Then, with a slowness intolerable to us both, I removed her panties. There was no more waiting then. I couldn’t wait even if I wanted to. Leaning down – not taking my eyes off of hers for one second, I ran my tongue against her slit, melting when her juices coated my tongue. “Is there any part of you that I’ll be unable to crave?” Tempted to sink my teeth into her thigh and drink my fill once more, I focused on pleasuring her. When I sank my tongue inside her, her hips gave the most satisfying lurch.
I sucked and nibbled on her soaking sex, somehow ravenous with lust not for blood but for her. For every part of her. Hannah’s hand twisted into my hair as her moans egged me on, and I pierced her with my tongue faster and faster. I could hear her breathing quicken and knew I had to stop. When I pulled away, she whimpered in protest. I placated her with a deep kiss, letting her taste herself on me. “I want to make you cum when you’re wrapped around me, baby. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
She wasn’t having any of my teasings. The innocent little Forbes sister had turned into a temptress; I was both relieved and grateful I was the only one to see her like this. She flipped me over – a very welcome surprise – and tugged off my pants and briefs in one fell swoop. Hannah desired me as much as I did her.
My hands continued to roam her skin and helped her press against my hardening cock. I nearly growled when her molten heat sank onto me. It imprisoned me, and I was more than willing to have it do so. “Fuck, Hannah… when did a good girl like you learn to ride like that?” The vixen moved her hair and clutched my shoulders, rocking down onto me in a torturous rhythm. “Who said I was a good girl?”
Sitting up and sinking my fingers into her waist, I bounced her up and down on my length. Her nails dragged down my back, leaving their delicious trails. My lips ravaged her neck once more, needing an outlet to express the building rapture in me. Her little mewls were so, so encouraging. My thumb pressed against her clit, and she bucked into me. Her whole body quaked as our pleasures grew and grew, reaching new heights every second.
With one more searing kiss, we both came undone. The clashing of our tongues silenced the screams of ecstasy as we orgasmed together. Her heartbeat was a hummingbird again, and I adored the sound. She clung to me for a moment, and I was more than happy to hold her.
We stayed connected until I felt her breathing calm. When it slowed, I laid down and kept Hannah cocooned in my arms. Her head rested in the crook between my neck and shoulder, and her fingers traced nonsensical designs near my collarbone. She dozed off soon enough, but I stayed awake, simply gazing at her. Everyone told me to stay away, but the heart wants what the heart wants.
~~~
The Next Day - Hannah's POV:
I didn’t think I failed my Shakespeare exam, which was a miracle considering how my mind was everywhere else but on Shakespearian Literature. It was on Kai for the most part. For someone who was supposed to be an “evil Heretic,” he had been a perfect gentleman. It was more than I could say for plenty of our other friends – the ones I was visiting today.
I’d worn a scarf to cover the hickeys Kai left in his heated ministrations but walking into a room full of vampires as a human and trying to keep a secret was a lost cause. The second I stepped into the Salvatore House, four pairs of supernatural eyes turned to look at me. “What?”
There was an awkward silence, and Damon was the first to break it. “Have you been hanging around our least favorite Heretic sociopath?” My eyes widened. How in the – I mean, I’d showered and everything. How the hell could they still sense he was around me?
Maybe because he wasn’t just around us…
Shut up, conscious. No one asked you.
“Um, maybe?” Caroline was incredulous and approached me. “It is burning outside. Why are you wearing a scarf?”
“To be fashionable! I’m very into fashion trends, you know?”
“Mhmm, sure. I’ll just see about that.” Without warning, Caroline tugged at the knot in the scarf against my protests. Stefan’s eyes widened and he looked away with an awkward cough. Damon and Elena shared a knowing look, and Damon barely hid his smirk. “What the hell are those?”
Before I could say a word, Kai sauntered in and threw his arm around my shoulder. “I can answer that. How do you think Shakespeare would explain hickeys, Hannah?”
~~~
This concludes my new Kai Parker One Shot! Thank you for sending in a request, @gpiggy98! I hope you loved it as much I loved writing it <3
Please feel free to send any thoughts/comments/constructive criticisms my way. I always welcome them :)
If you liked this story, feel free to check out my other stories from my Malachai Parker Masterlist (pinned to the top of my profile).
Until next time, JustAThoughtfulAngel <3
Taglist: @socio-kai-path1972, @bluelicious, @genevivetaylor, @prettybitchfatwitch
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bygiornogiovanna · 2 years
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"We really are meant for each other, aren't we?"
Yandere! Josuke Higashikata x Yandere! Reader
Summary: You move to Morioh and Josuke wants to be friends with you. What happens when, after spending months only with Josuke and his group, a boy interferes with you? What will Josuke do? And, what happens when he finds out you two are the same?
word count: 2.9k
tw!: violent fight scenes, slight manipulation, sexual tension, blood, yandere behavior, reader uses their stand to beat up two girls
this was a random idea I had. also, yandere josuke >>. don't forget to leave me any requests you want. enjoy!!
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Your life was pretty simple until you moved to Morioh. Oh, and how simple it was. Nobody was talking to you, you weren't talking to anybody. You didn't have a crush, you weren't worried about anything other than getting good grades. You would simply entertain yourself with your power, growing roses and taking care of them. Oh yes, you had some kind of power that was only seen by you. It was like a second-you, but like, invisible! You could grow roses with or without thrones and climb high buildings with its help. It was also fast, not letting anything hurt you. At first, when you accidentally discovered it by dodging a dart you didn't even know was thrown at you, you were scared. Over time, you grew fond of it and started using it to your advantage: like when you broke a weirdo's leg because he was cat-calling you.
Anyways, you thought your life would be the same as it was...
Until you met him. Him and his stupidly attractive face. Him and his sweet personality. He who loved to tease you. He, who came straight to you after your first week of high school and asked to be your friend. Higashikata Josuke.
At first, you didn't think much of your first meeting. It was kind of awkward:
You were never approached, therefore you didn't know how to react so you just stared at him. He raised a brow and tilted his head, confused.
"Hey, did you hear me? I asked what's your name. I know you're new here so, I thought, you know, maybe we could be friends." You heard the taller boy speak to you again and you blinked.
"I...uhm...I'm Y/N. I...Yeah, we could be friends, I guess." You replied shyly, scratching the back of your head.
"Mm, this sounds like you think I'm not good enough to be your friend, doesn't it?" He asked in a teasing tone, a small smirk planted on his face.
"I-It's not that! I just...Back in my town, I didn't have any friends so I thought that it will be the same here and you...kinda caught me off guard." A blush crept up your face and you took a step back.
After that he introduced you to his friends: Koichi and Okuyasu and you were quickly accepted. As months passed, you two became closer. His mom already knew you since he invited you over many times.
The downside was that you started developing feelings for him. You weren't sure if he felt the same since he was friendly with everybody. You also learned that he hated when somebody insulted his hair so you made sure to always compliment it.
One thing that annoyed you at him was that he was popular. Everybody liked Josuke. They didn't have any reason not to, but it still made you angry that girls were all over him, greeting and complimenting him. And why was he so nice to them? He had you now! He didn't need them!
"Hi, Josuke." You smiled at him as he picked you up from your third class. "How was your English exam?"
"Hm, fine I think. Might get an 80 or 85, who knows. How about you? What did you do at Biology?" Josuke asked, knowing you were stressed about it these last weeks.
"Probably a 95! I think I got one answer wrong, but it was only 5 points so no problem!" You said, happy you were finally over with them.
"There's my smartass." He smirked, ruffling your hair. You two started walking to the cafeteria, when you heard two girls running towards you, yelling Josuke's name. They quickly got there and started clinging onto him, giving him the same old compliments, making you roll your eyes. You had enough of their bullshit and you knew exactly what to do: Deal with them after school, since you knew their usual spot. It was behind the school, less crowded so it would be easy to deal with them.
"I forgot my pencil case in class, I'll go get it." You tell Josuke, well...At least tried to, since the girls somehow multiplied and from two, they became six. You sighed irritated and went back to your class, grabbing your dark blue pencil case. You opened it to see if anything was missing when you suddenly saw a small piece of paper in there. 'Meet me in the school's garden, I wanna talk. -Haru'. Haru, who was it? Ah yes, the tall, brunette boy which whom you shared both Biology and Chemistry classes. He was cute, even hot you could say, but you barely talked. What could he possibly want to talk with you?
Shrugging, you debated in your head if you should go or not. You had nothing to lose, if he tried anything weird, you could use Rose Kiss to break his arms and run away. Stuffing your pencil case in your backpack, you headed to the school's garden with a small smile on your face. He was standing on a bench near the roses with a small bouquet of blue lilies in his hands. You patted his back, offering him an amused smile when he turned scared at you.
"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you." You said and he somehow looked...relieved when he realized it was you.
"Wow, you actually came! Take a seat please!" Haru said, patting the place beside him. "I c-can't believe you actually came, wow. Oh also, this is for you. I know you like flowers, but roses seemed kinda boring so I brought these!" You raised a brow at how flustered he was, accepting the beautiful lilies. They smelled incredible and they were really pretty.
"Thank you. They are incredible. Also, why wouldn't I? I'm surprised you invited me here, we barely talked and you didn't seem to notice me." You giggled softly, smelling the lilies again.
"How couldn't I notice you? You are so pretty and you are also really smart! Also, you are kind and honest and I don't know why don't people talk to you. I've only seen you with Higashikata and his friends." Haru let out a small sigh and you couldn't help but blush at his words. This is how people viewed you? As pretty, honest, smart, and kind? This was a much-needed confidence boost.
"T-Thanks. What did you want to talk about, Haru?" You asked, curiosity taking over you.
"Actually, nothing. I just wanted to spend time with you and you know, maybe become friends." The boy beside you said and he offered you a bright smile when you let out a small "Sounds good". This was the start of a new friendship.
Over the past week, you started spending a little less time with Josuke and more time with Haru. He made you forget about your worries targeting Josuke, distracting you from him and his fangirls. Of course, you didn't lose your feelings for Josuke, still feeling jealous whenever he was close to girls, but it was nice having a distraction.
That did not go unnoticed by Josuke. He felt rage bubbling up inside him whenever he saw you and him laughing. Why were you laughing as much with Haru? Did you replace him? You were his, you didn't need that boy! He wasn't even half as attractive or as good as him. His frown deepened when you and he walked into the cafeteria laughing, you hitting his shoulder randomly while a small blush was covering your cheeks. Josuke threw you two a glare that ugly that if looks could kill, you both would be dead already. But he wasn't mad at you, of course. How could he be mad at such a perfect person as you? No, he was mad at that boy. How dare he think that he was good for you? Nobody was good enough for you, except himself. He was here first. He was your first friend, he was the first to see you cry, and he was the first to come over to your house. He was the only one who deserved you.
"What's wrong man?" He heard Okuyasu ask, taking a deep breath.
"Nothing," Josuke mumbled, massaging his temples. His rage could probably be seen on his face so he tried to calm down. He needed to have a small talk with that boy before he did something. He got up, made sure you were somewhere else, and went to where he was seated. "Hello, Haru." He said in a calm tone, a fake smile plastered on his face. "Can we talk?"
"Oh, Josuke? Yeah sure, is there something wrong?" Haru frowned. Why did Josuke want to talk with him?
"Somewhere more private, if we could." He requested and the shorter boy nodded, getting up and following him. Probably his biggest mistake, after the fact that he decided to talk with you.
The two boys arrived at a secluded part of the school, where Josuke simply put his hands into his pockets. "I will only say this once." He started, looking dead serious. "You will stay away from Y/N. You will not be their deskmate anymore. You will not give them gifts anymore. And you definitely will not spend time with them. Don't even look in their direction. They are mine and mine only. Did I make myself clear?"
Yep, clearly a mistake.
"No, I won't? You aren't Y/N's boyfriend, you have no right to tell me what to do." Another mistake. Josuke huffed annoyed, rolling his eyes.
"I don't think you understand what's happening here. I'm not giving you a choice, I'm not asking you to stay away from them. I'm telling you to."
"And I'm telling you that I won't listen to you. Why do you think Y/N prefers staying with me more than she prefers staying with you? They don't like you." Haru said, rolling his eyes.
"You seem to not understand. It's fine if you don't want to listen. I'll make you listen." Josuke says and takes Crazy Diamond out. Before Haru knows it, he feels something grab him by the neck and slam him against the nearest wall. Then, he felt as if he was being punched by someone, but Josuke never moved from his original place. What the hell was happening?!
Josuke smirked letting Crazy Diamond use the poor boy as a punching bag. "Tell me now, dear Haru. Will you listen to me? I can easily heal you if you swear you will never get close to Y/N again." He said after some time, getting bored of watching the boy being beaten up by his stand.
"Y-Yes! P-Please, let me go!" The boy screamed and the taller one started laughing, making his stand let him down, Haru's body hitting the ground.
"I didn't hear you swear," Josuke said, getting closer to him, his hands still in his pockets.
"I s-swear I will never get close to them again." The boy was covered in blood, groaning in pain. He was about to pass out when Josuke made his stand to heal him.
"If you ever do as much as look at them again, what happened now will be a child's play compared with what am I going to do to you. Also, you will not say a thing about it to anyone, got it?" He whispered and the boy nodded in fear. "Good."
While he finished with Haru, you found yourself in the same situation as Josuke. As you were in the school, fixing yourself while looking in the little mirror in your hands, you heard two girls talk about how one of them finally kissed Josuke's cheek. You felt anger fill you up when you heard the oh-so-exciting news.
"You did what?" You asked, your voice going down with two octaves, rage plastered on your face. You were in one of the school's emptiest halls, the one that lead to your Physics laboratory.
"What, are you deaf? I kissed his cheek. Don't tell me you like him, weirdo." The shorter girl said, her high-pitched voice scratching your brain in the wrong places.
"Stay away from Josuke. He's mine." You said, stopping before them.
"Pfft, don't make me laugh. Josuke would never look at someone like you. He is just nice to you since he knows nobody would like you either way and he is too kind to be mean. I even heard you had no friends before him." The other one says, making you grab the bridge of your nose.
"Do I look like I'm kidding? You stay away from him and we will be good. Or else, you will find out I'm not somebody whose nerves you play with." You threatened, your stand already summoned. You knew they couldn't see it, but it made you feel more powerful.
"Aish, you really think you are scaring us? You are just crazy about him and don't realize he will never see you more than his classmate. Bet you think you will be together with him one day." They laughed, rolling their eyes.
"Fine..." You mumbled, smirking as your stand was behind them.
"Wipe that stupid smirk off you-" The first one wants to say but Rose Kiss grabbed them by their necks, slamming their head together.
"Now tell me, what would you like to have broken more, legs or arms? Or maybe, I could break your neck! Or...hm, maybe rip off your dirty lips for even trying to kiss my Josuke." You said, and judging by the fear on their faces, you knew you look psychotic. "Oh, I know! I will do all of them!" You said, slamming them against each other as if they were some useless dolls, laughing at their pleas. You were having fun breaking their limbs when you remembered you had a class to attend.
"As much as I would like to break every single one of your bones for making me endure seeing your filthy hands touching my Josuke every single fucking day, I have to go, class. Now, to end this, you two will never go near him again. You won't even breathe next to him. And tell your friends this too. I don't want to see any of you around him, or else I will make sure that Morioh's hospitals will be full of you little shits. Did I make myself clear?" You said in a sweet tone, sending them a bittersweet smile.
"Y-Yes! J-Just leave us alone!" One of them screamed and you noticed both of them were bleeding. You clicked your tongue, closed your eyes to calm down, and turned on your heels.
After the long, boring rest of the day, you head back home. When you entered and were about to go upstairs, you felt somebody pull you by your wrist. Startled, you wanted to punch the intruder, but when you turned and saw Josuke, you stiffened.
"Y'know, what you put up in the hall during the physics class was quite a show, dear. Even though, I have to say I'm glad to find out I'm yours." The boy said in a playful tone, leaning over you.
"H-How much did you see?" You stuttered, backing away, scared that he might hate you. You didn't even ask what he was doing here, the news about him knowing what you did was too shocking.
"Hm, sadly I only saw the parts after you said you were going to do "all of them". Not sure what those 'them' were, but still." He didn't seem scared, nor disgusted, he actually seemed... amused? He slowly pushed you until your back hit the wall. "But tell me, Y/N..." Josuke mumbled, leaning to whisper in your ear. "Why do you call me yours, but ignore me for that little boy, Haru?" He asked in a different tone, sending shivers down your spine.
"I...I don't like Haru." You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding when you felt him that close to you. You were going insane with every second you felt the heat of his body and you inhaled his scent.
"Oh, I'm sure you don't. In fact, you are not allowed to like him." You let a small whimper leave your throat when you feel his teeth nibble at your ear. "You're going to pay for this."
"P-Pay for what?" You stuttered, your breathing uneven.
"For driving me this mad." Said Josuke when you gripped his shoulders tightly. "Before you came here, everything was normal. After you came...You've been on my mind every single day ever since I met you. I knew we were meant to be. And the fact that you have a stand makes it even more lovely. We are made for each other, aren't we?" Him saying those mad things to you made you rub your thighs together, whimpering again and again when you felt him biting at your soft flesh.
"J-Josuke, please." You mumbled, already air-headed by his touch.
"Say it. Say we are meant for each other and I'll do whatever you want me to." You whined at his tone, letting out a soft cry.
"We are meant for each other. I'm yours, Josuke. Only yours." You said in a shaky breath and he caught your lips between his.
We could say you two had a really fun time together.
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No. No. NO. This can not be happening. The one thing I was most afraid of. The dreaded cliffhanger (quite literal in this case). I'm going through the 5 stages of BL grief help. And I've already reached de Nile T~T
When i first realized that Bad Buddy and ATOTS would air back-to-back, I had an inkling that something like this might happen. Because it's P'Aof. But now my brain is this close to 'killstabrip rinse and repeat' mode.
I was thinking of not watching today's episode because of the exam tomorrow, and for once, i regret not listening to the logical part of my brain.
Anyways what's done is done.
Let's move on.
I loved today's episode, and *maybe* Our Skyy has made me like ATOTS more than i originally did so bonus.
I have a lot of favourite scenes from today.
The waterfall scene where they play in the water. It's a throwback to the beach scenes from BBS. I like the similarities; in the beach, they'd escaped from their friends and family and really enjoyed themselves with each other for the first time, when their love was just starting to bloom. Here, they are already very much in love and in a secure relationship, but it's also away from their friends, a small haven just for themselves. They still enjoy each other's company and playing with each other. The ost song plays in the background, but the lines that are highlighted are "I hope you are not bored; Looking at this same old face." which just emphasizes the point that their love is still going strong.
The sleeping together scene – after the mosquito net kiss (still smiling from that) – loved the short tickling moment because it reminded me so much of the BTS of when Pat hugs Pran from behind as he plays the Thai xylophone and in real life, Nanon is trying so hard to not laugh. Loved even more the "You're an Architecture student, right? Haven't you wondered how much shaking this house can withstand?". We all know what that meant, right? (If you don't, it's nothing sweetie, just boring old people stuff. Be a child as long as you can.) Pran's reaction cracked me up but also made me want to wrap them both up in a blanket and hug them. Yeah, I'm weird like that. Also, Pran's "No, i don't want to know. I'm not curious." – of course you don't want to know, Pran, of course.
I love that they managed to fit in a song by Nanon. It was a pretty good song, too. I also really liked how fast Pran's expressions changed when Pat arrived. Saying this for probably the millionth time, but Nanon is an amazing (Off Jumpol's voice) actor.
The Pat and Hona (Chief) waking up shirtless together scene. It. Was. Hilarious. I am never ever forgetting it. Them being like: my boyfriend is going to kill me. And yeah, they probably would if they came to know. I liked the reference to PatPran ep 11 when Pran asked how many points he got out of 10. And Pat realizing it's not his faen just by the hand made me a little soft. Also liked the reference to the rangers' t-shirt that Hona had first offered to Tian. Though the first thing that came to mind after seeing it was "Tian and Pran are going to be so jealous when they (mis)understand what the t-shirt means". Ya'll have ruined my innocence so you need to suffer too.
The watch made a comeback! So happy. I really wanna know how Pran will react when Pat gives back the watch. I have a hunch to what Pat will say when he does.
As for the preview, I'm happy (and a teeny tiny bit skeptical) about Hona & Pat's and Tian & Pran's growing friendship.
[Unmute :D Do NOT repost; I'll do more than find you]
I have neither time nor energy to make more than this one clip today, but if i find the energy and motivation on Saturday (i will have literally no time tomorrow), be sure I'll make a lot of clips (at least 4 or 5). If you have any requests in the meantime, feel free to send them through my asks!
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draceana · 2 years
Text
01 ⁺◟pick a card ꜜ
☆‧₊˚ 𓆩 lovely things about you 🌸
Hi! This is my first time ever to do a pick a card reading and posting it! > < I usually only do reading to my friends. I’m not even making any introduction post yet here lmao. Well, go on now, pick the pile based on the image that really ring the bells on you! 🫂
⚠️. When you read the pile you picked and its not picturing you, maybe its not your pile or maybeee there is a hidden message for you 👀. You can check another pile! Take what resonates and positive, leave the negative away 💫
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Pile 1. Pile 2.
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Pile 3. Pile 4.
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🍜 Pile 1 blue fish
(cobra, 7 of pentacles, 3 of cups, 8 of swords, the lovers, 5 of cups, knight of cups)
Hello, pile 1! The lovers appeared and I heard Taylor Swift - Lover, but more in the way of you singing the song in full energy like 'CAAAAN I GOOO WHERE YOUUU GOOO?!! CAN WE ALWAAAYS BEEE THISSSZZZ CLOOSEEE' 😭😭😭😭😭 your outlook can be so lovely and later when people get really to know you, you are a gremlin 😭. Some are gremlins for sure, so lively, so fun, and funky, and some can much more be in a calm demeanor. Knight of cups: you are such a good listener! You support people emotionally, being there for them, whenever you know someone is feeling down; you are right away can go 'what's wrong? do you want me to order boba for you? do you want cookie? do you need time to be alone first? I'll be here'. If you know they are worth it for you, you are definitely supportive and heckin loyal.
5 of cups: some of you can have a longer sad time whenever you let go of something, some go 'yea I'm sad that A just blocked me... ANYWAY- *forgets about A who still exists in their life*'. Some of you sometimes can only focus on the things that are making you sad, and forget about there are still happy things in the corner! But what good is, you guys know when to drop-kick someone to the moon although you later be having a sad time that they are not around anymore lol. 3 of cups: sorry, but, my spirit friends smacked me with Pewdiepie - Congratulation 😭 'A congratulations, it's a celebration, Party all day, I know you've been waitin'. I received the same energy with the lovers card, a confirmation for you that you really are a fun person. You cherish people, you congratulate them on whatever they achieve even if its just a small thing because 7 of pentacles: you have your own dreams or goals, whether they are big or small, you understand how you work hard to achieve them. For example, setting yourself to get a good grade in math, you stuDYING for math, aaand when you get a good grade, you get happy and feel the need to give yourself a reward. Advice from my 'gang', they said you should remember to have a fun time and do not be a workaholic or really stuDYING, be grateful and satisfied with what you've greatly done to yourself. 8 of swords: in a general context, we find ourselves seeing this card like 'bruh? pls, why are you popping out?' LMAOO. Yes and I can't really say much but another advice for you, remember that is not everything worth for you to think of. Don't think too much 'oh god, what if I failed my exam? *the exam is actually still in 3 weeks*' which is you have lots of time to study and prepare yourself yet you scare yourself WAY TOO EARLY 😭. Slow dooown and reorganize your mind to categorize which matter is important, and which is not. YOU CAN DO IT!Lastly, the animal that represents you to others is the cobra, a fire element. Wise, observant, 'don't let them know what's your next move', shy but only at first because you are actually a clownjk, you know when to strike people. Thats your reading pile 1! Thank you so much for having us! May the reading resonate with you. Leaving feedback by reblogging or leaving a comment is much much appreciated!
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🥙 Pile 2 blue flower
(snake, 4 of swords, 4 of pentacles, the chariot, the moon, strength, knight of pentacles)
For me, I see this pile having a little same energy as pile 1. Pile 1 is like having 99% battery but you guys are around 50% ~ 64% 😭😭 HAHHAH, you guys calmer. I don't know, it is when you are showing excitement but people still perceive it as 'oh, you are happy?? uwu' unlike pile 1 'you are happy???!! LETSSS GOO COMMIT ARSON AS WELL'. I believe its coming from the 4 of swords: you try to get along with everyone nicely, you are showing yourself to them just the part that you consider is enough to be seen. You think before you speak (some take forEVER to think about what should they say so they don't sound grumpy or scary 😭). I think you don't even mind to be just spending your time alone, going out alone. Knight of pentacles: you are grounded, you feel secure as long as your material comfort is there, this part of you connects to the 4 of pentacles too. You don't mind sharing with others even if the person is only an acquaintance to you; if you can help, you are willing to help. Some of you are willing to help ONLY TO THE CLOSEST ONE, I agree with this. Advice for some who's just blindly helping people despite knowing they are not deserve you, PLEASE STOOOP WASTING YOUR TIME, ENERGY, AFFECTION, AND SUPPORT TO THEM 😭. Be that knight first to yourself.
The chariot: you chase chase chase chaaase after your dream! Running fast or slow, you are so driven to go after what you want 🌻. *another piece of advice I heard, the spirits really pressed 'do not chase after people trying to be their hero, I know you are dying, child. Be the hero to the people that are doing the same to you'. No wonder you are calm, you can control yourself and later you can also be the crazy disco ball but only for a limited time lol because you don't have the 99% energy 😭😭. I heard some also be very serious about 'words', if you say A, you will put A into action. You really keep your words! Then the moon and strength: advice to be taken, do not hesitate to put boundaries with others who do not deserve you. Stop with the 'I just want to help, I really wanted to 🥺' later you feel emotionally drained, you can not keep being in this strength side being strong bla bla bla. You need to replenish your energy. But for sure, thank you so much for being strong and being there for people! <3
Last, is the snake. Snake is an earth element. You have that fire/spark inside your heart. So much potential that you can grow from yourself. Calm, laidback.
Thank you for your time pile 2! Leaving feedback will be much appreciated!
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🍤 Pile 3 blue jellyfishes
(phoenix, 4 of cups, 5 of pentacles, 6 of pentacles, 9 of wands, king of wands, the sun)
HELLo pile 3! 4 of cups: ssup? are some of you guys in this energy of 'sorry, I have no time to go out because I have tons to think, consider, or re-evaluate stuff'? 😭 nothing wrong to be busy in your mind (as long as not excessively to the point where you are anxious or create unhealthy thoughts), you just want to get clarity on what you want. 5 of pentacles: are you feeling different from the others? I feel like some of you still comparing yourself to other people too, HM. You have your own way to face the obstacle that is given to you, so eagerly 'I AM DOING IT IN MY OWN WAAAY' and yeees, beesh slay! You made it! Remember to just accept such as a help offer along your 'way', it is always nice to do things together, right?? for some can agree with me, and some be 'nah, I'm cool. I can survive sht alone' lol 😭😭. Funny how you guys 6 of pentacles: you guys offering help to others. You are supeeeer nice, kind, and generous too when helping. You try so bad to stay peaceful in your life but you are also not afraid to sprinkle salt and pepper because what is life without pain? Dull isn't it?? LMAO. That 9 of wands and king of wands appeared, the spirits said; you went through a lot, not only having the challenge that was coming from people but, inside yourself too. Trying to stay sane with your circus head 😭. Because of this, maybe no wonder some don't really need others helping them with their problem, because they (you) know what to do. Relying on yourself is your number one thing ✨. You possess the quality of a natural leader. You inspired people, and what people are doing inspired you too!! Gosh, thank you for never being tired to be the best version of yourself :')
So far so good? I think you can already grasp why the phoenix is here. A fire element. Born again. Rise from the ashes. Some can be introvert and some can straightly rbf because they don't like people 😂😂😂. Confidence. Dominating. Independent.
Thank youuu for making the time to read here pile 3! May it brighten you up too!
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🥨 Pile 4 white fishes
(frog, 2 of wands, 3 of swords, page of swords, knight of swords, judgment, the star)
Hi! 👾2 of wands: some are purely so patient and some of you are patient too but on the inside, you are like 'HELP! WHAT A SLOWPOOKEE! HOW LONG I SHOULD WAIT *heavy sigh, continue to wait calmly*' hahha, Idk, spirits portrayed some of you are like that. You guys are such a good planner! To avoid 3 of swords happening? loll. When unwanted things happen, I bet you guys already know what to do. You are willing to trying something new, because you are curious and you think exploring new things or ideas that you have been getting is intriguing to you. I also see that you could be easily so sensitive, sentimental, and a soft-hearted person who has been hurt. Page of swords: you are capable to make a lively chat and stimulating conversation (you've been hurt so you really know how to say things and make a fun convo), and genuinely curious about people. But remember not to be so drawn to gossiping... I admit gossiping is 'Emhm! A perfect tea party!' but not everything has value to be a gossip, so don't waste your time. Knight of swords: plz, you go name every character that is pretty, charming, friendly, the protagonist, everyone likes them 😭😭😭 you are like thaaat. If some can't relate, don't worry, every day you strive to be a better person of yourself, you will be there too! People feel you guys are just okay and fine as a fine china 🎈.
The judgment here I suppose kinda related to the 2 of wands, because you think carefully between options, make your own decision, try to look at everything as a big picture, and be fair at seeing issues objectively. Therefore you make a good place for your friends to ask you 'hey, I go with pink or blue?' such as that, you voice your opinion nicely. Then the star: the people who get advice from you feel like you help to bring them a new perspective, giving them hope 'everything will be fine, don't worry', you spark them with hope and optimism! Are you a dreamy person and making a scenario where you date handsome 2d boys?? 😂😂
Last we have the frog, a water element. You adapt well, you know that frog can make their body temperature according to the environment so they can survive. Remember to not overwork yourself too. Self-care, forgive, release.
Thank you pile 4!! I hope the reading help to boost your mood!
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That’s all I have everyone! I really hope they resonate with you. I apologize if there are typos or grammar error, EN is not my first language (*´∀`) leaving a feedback plus a suggestion for the next reading will help me! 💞 Thank you!
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cherlawa-panna · 7 months
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So first of all you’re like permanently associated with Barney Barton in my brain now so just FYI on that lol
and you reblogged the Aunt May thing and that got me thinking like could you imagine just each family member of a superhero going absolutely FERAL in their own unique way about how their superhero family member gets treated by the public or the press or whatever??
and then they make a little support group to trade ideas and tips and commiserate cause like “relative of a superhero” is a tragically small group lol we’ve got what, May, Barney, Hope Lang (who would absolutely organize a school walkout for her dad at the age of like 8 lol) and maybe Sam Wilson’s family?
and they name the group something super sappy that none of them take credit for but secretly they all love it lol
BESTIE, you won't believe how HARD it was to write this post. At first because of my exams, but then my internet stopped working at least five times during writing this and I lost my progress. I swear, this post is cursed 💀 I'M SO SORRY FOR MAKING YOU WAIT. Everything was against me, I swear. I hate tumblr. Also I didn't proof read this because I was too close to strangle someone so bon appetit.
(We're talking about this reblog)
Okay, but let's forget about my misery. And instead let's start with the fact that this is the best compliment I've ever heard in my life. Being associated with this stupid pathetic man is amazing and I am very happy about it 💕 Maybe when I get my shit together I would write something more about him.
But anyway, YOU HAVE AN AMAZING MIND. Want to kiss you so much, this is so incredible. This idea of a support group of superhero's family members is perfect. I will definitely write more posts about it because you opened my mind and I have too many ideas with it right now. I know something like that already existed in comics but I don't remember them trying to fix heroes' images and they were more like a therapy group if I remember correctly.
WE NEED ALSO ADD KATE'S SISTER TO THIS GROUP. After what happened in Hawkeye: Kate Bishop (2021) I am pretty sure Susan would join them. Maybe not immediately because let's be real, she and Kate really had shitty relationship before the Hawkeye (2021) and after all, for a long time she did not even wanted to accept Kate being a hero lol (she literally ended their relationship because of that). Love to imagine that after what happened in Hawkeye (2021) she decided to "Okay. I'll try to being more supportive. Let's fix her shitty image in media" but then she realized how shitty Kate's reputation is and got mad. She's rich lady, I am pretty sure she would try to bribe people to stop talking shit about Kate.
I need her interact with Barney SO BADLY. They always seemed too much alike to me because they both had to grow up faster because of their stupid fathers (I have even post about it in my drafts, maybe I will public it when I wouldn't be too shy) and I'm just so hopeless about POTENTIAL with their friendship. Just older siblings of Hawkeyes who has enough of their little siblings bullshit but also has enough with media bullshit.
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And I'm sure they would be TERRIBLE at fixing their sibling's image in the beginning. She would want bribe and he would want to blackmail or intimate (read: beat the shit of people). Even if they tried to solve this normally like May do, it probably wouldn't work well and they would go back to their old ways. Unknowingly more damaging to their siblings' reputation because they're idiots. Because no, bribing and blackmail the press wouldn't help change anything.
They're like those awkward parents who want to support you, but they do it in the worst possible way, embarrassing you in front of others and making you look like a loser. And Susan is the most awkward because she understands absolutely NOTHING about being a superhero. Barney know some things because y'know, he was a"""villain""" (he was so terrible in this to even call him a villain) and had his weird adventure with trying to kill Clint because of Zemo, then Thunderbolts and Dark Avengers with travelling across the multiverse etc. You know the deal. But Susan? Yeah, she helped her sister in Hawkeye (2021) but it was something not normal for her, like she said in #5 issue.
Anyway, Susan would most likely try to pay press to stop talking bad things about Kate but I'm pretty sure it would end badly anyway. I don't really see her writing to magazines, even if she did, she would probably prefer to call editors directly or even invited them for coffee or something like that. She would do it in the most "professional" way.
I can see Sarah being also feral about people talking shit about Sam but I know she would try to fix it in May way. Ya know, writing letters to magazines, giving bad reviews etc. But I know Sarah would send her neighbors and family friends to help her as well. Unfortunately, I didn't read a lot of comics with Sam so I don't know Sarah's personality or Sam's background well, so I can't talk a lot about Sarah. But based on Sarah's reaction when the newspaper wrote article about Sam's "shady past":
Barney however... Let's start with why I think he would be violent. While I like to think that he would try get a redemption after the shit what happened to him when Zemo got his hands on him, he wouldn't be able to live as normal citizen. Since he is still a wanting criminal and public will always connect him with people like Osborn no matter what he would do. So I know he wouldn't try hard to change his usual ways to fix problems since he'll be always see as a criminal. And we know how it works, why change your ways when people will always see you as bad guy? That's why I can see him using violent ways to help "improve" Clint's image. But I think he would try to it do in May way someday, because after all, he is just a tired guy who wants to have a peaceful life BUT we're talking about Barney, c'mon. Maybe he would try to find a balance, I can see him trying so hard to do it in peaceful way, maybe May or Sarah would help him in that lol. He would definitely subscribe to newspapers who wrote good articles about Clint (and if they also has a good crosswords) but he would be (almost) the most casual one in this group. Yeah, sometimes he would beat some random journalist but I like to imagine him joining this group more to find more non-villains friends and try to learn how to support his brother. It's just a weird type of therapy for him.
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(Captain America (1968) #276)
... we can say that the way how public perceives Sam definitely affects her emotionally. So if there was ever a situation where suddenly a lot of the press started talking badly about her brother, she would definitely want to do something about it.
I like to imagine that the community where Sam is from (at least the one in the MCU) would definitely be pissed at the media's stupid talk about their Sammy. I'm not even sorry, but they would be his the biggest supporters. I think the media should be afraid to talk badly about Sam because I'm sure Sam's friends/neighbours would destroy them lol.
While Scott's daughter, Cassie is a superhero herself, I honestly think she'd love to join that group anyway. And like you say, Cassie definitely organized a school walkout for her father when she was a little kiddo. She loves her father and we know it make her furious when people call him a criminal.
I can also imagine that Sarah would be the one who started this group. However, I see May more as a "leader" than Sarah, mainly because she treats it more seriously (and I bet she call them "heroes who fight with press" or something like that). But maybe Sarah and May could run it together somehow. Honestly, there's definitely no official leader here, but since Sarah and May would take it the most seriously, they'd probably be the ones leading the group in a way.
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(Young Avengers Special Vol 1 #1)
She would probably argue so hard on the internet with assholes insulting her dad, especially after his death. I imagine one day she suddenly popped at Sarah's house where the meetings take place and just like she did with the Young Avengers, announced that from now on she will be part of their group 💀.
My girl just wants to have other people around her who understand how hard it is when their loved ones are treated like a shit by the public. Let her be. Cassie has always been the kind of person to me who didn't care what other people thought about her, ya know? But at he same time when someone suddenly started talking bad about her dad or her friends, she suddenly became aggressive.
As I began to wonder, why don't we add Bucky's sister to the group? Honestly, I think it would be funny. Especially considering what's been going on with Bucky in the comics lately. Poor Becca trying to fix Bucky's image in the media, which is impossible because sometimes I think Bucky's secret hobby is to ruin his reputation as much as possible lmao.
I see her joining this group after her father's death, because Scott, despite sacrificing his life, was still judged by society because of his past. Which isn't fair since Scott turned back to crime to earn money to pay for his daughter's treatment while she was sick. And he actually became Antman to save her. Cassie is one of my favorite female characters, even though she annoys me more often because some authors write her too childishly, but she still has her charm. She's my girl trying her best.
Rebecca is an old woman, ya know, her children live their own lives, her grandchildren do too, maybe we'll kill her husband in this au, so she's also a widow. So it shouldn't be surprise if she started doing it partly out of boredom and partly to get closer to her stupid brother. To her, this whole group would be such a fun hobby, better than playing bingo 💀
I like to imagine she likes to buy gossip magazines, highlights the negative articles about her brother while doing her normal activities, like I don't know, going to church or taking care of her grandchildren. And if she sees an article about someone else, she sends it to the other members of group. While May would take this whole thing seriously, Becca would take it more as fun. BECAUSE HER EFFORTS ARE IN VAIN ANYWAY. SHE WOULDN'T NEVER BE ABLE TO FIX BUCKY'S IMAGE. The media will always talk badly about him because this guy has no intention of acting like a decent citizen. She would fight with the press and lose every time. And even if one (1) newspaper wrote something good about him, suddenly there would be four more newspapers writing the worst things about Bucky.
"and they name the group something super sappy that none of them take credit for but secretly they all love it lol" tbh I tried SO HARD to imagine what name would be, BUT I'M SO UNCREATIVE. But I love this concept. I see Clint making fun of Barney because of that lmaoo. But at the same time, Clint would be happy because it means HIS BROTHER IS CARING ABOUT HIM. Clint has such low expectations of his brother, he'll accept ANYTHING AT THIS POINT.
(This gave me an idea for a winterhawk fanfic where Becca and Barney knew each other from this group and Becca suddenly tries to get even closer to Barney because "our brothers are dating, WE'LL BE FAMILY SOON, WE SHOULD SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER". Imagine one day Bucky finally visits his sister and finds Barney and Becca (and maybe the rest of the group) playing bingo or crosswords together. And Buck is "YOU KNOW EACH OTHER???" and Becca would be "Oh yes. He keeps me company, unlike SOMEBODY WHO WON'T EVEN ANSWER MY CALLS".)
I'm sure Susan would be against such a sappy name for a very long time because she's a SERIOUS businesswoman and she takes this whole group SERIOUSLY. But I know she would love it after some time, she has such a vibe of corny mom.
Cassie would think this name is super non-cool and try to find better name but her names would be WORSE. I'm so sorry Cassie, but you're sometimes personification of embarrassment.
Somehow it's funny to me that everyone here has a slightly different approach to this whole group. It could be the perfect idea for some fanfic series, because their dynamic would definitely be chaotic.
Barney Barton: Joined because he wanted to make friends fix his relationship with Clint and to do something good with his life. His ways are brutal (and illegal), but maybe in the future he will change it.
May Parker: Takes it very very seriously. She's also the most supportive of other members and most likely will give you the best advice.
Sarah Wilson: Also takes it seriously but not in the extreme way as May. She has "army" of neighbors and friends who are always happy to help her with "fixing" Sam's image.
Susan Bishop: She wants to support her sister and show that she accepts her as a superhero now. She treats it like a job and she prefer to call/invite editors directly for a talk or try to bribe them.
Cassie Lang: The most aggressive of them all. I would call her a combination of May and Barney tbh. Mostly probably arguing on forums or elsewhere on the internet.
Rebbeca Proctor: She treats it as a hobby and a nice way to spend time. She knows her efforts are in vain so she's here just for the ride.
Anyway, that's my thoughts about this concept! Thanks again for ask it was such fun to think about it! 💕💕 I'm again very sorry for a long wait, I swear it wouldn't happen again. I'll probably make another post if I come up with something else with this concept lool.
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hunxi-after-hours · 1 year
Note
it's ya boy paper anon!! first and foremost happy holidays if you celebrate something!! hahaha i wanted to wait until im completely done w my finals so i wouldnt annoy you with too many asks, but rn im doing readings for my cultural geography class and it reminded me of you a lot haha. it's mainly history about capital cities, some art, some philosophy, kinda little bit of everything. prof still whack but the reading materials are rly rly interesting 1/2(
paper anon pt2: anyway! passed my spoken final with A, written and grammar classes with B :D still waiting for my upcoming characters final (which is history+radicals+ dictionary work :/) and then the geo, some antro elective i took abt rituals and then the only one i need to pass or they'll kick me out (and also my worst one) - intro to east asian linguistics. i have no idea what's going on w japanese. no one rly knows what's up with japanese. i'm hoping the linguistic gods will enlighten me
paper anon pt3: (IM SORRY) and as promised, here's my favourite fun fact i learned this semester: the water body around the forbidden city in beijing is fake and connected to a tiny ass barely river. no idea why it's so funny to me but it is kinda a mood. business in the front party in the back type of vibe. ANYWAY! hope ur well and thriving!!!!! if its cold where u live rn dont forget to bundle up!! <33
omg hiiiiii congrats on finishing finals!!! look at you go, acing exams and chomping your way through readings
also please feel free to send me interesting quotes from whatever you run into!! I have no plans to go back to academia any time soon but I do miss having interesting readings shoved under my nose (I don't miss the uninteresting readings though asdlfakjsd that's why no more academia for me, plus it costs $$$ whereas the library costs $0.00)
okay hang on one of the classes I took outside my department was ALSO a class about rituals in East Asia and I lowkey think about it all the time, still? like, what the purpose of ritual is in modern/contemporary life, the ways that ritual offer us signposts in the otherwise unmarked sequence of events that we encounter, the importance of death/grief rituals and how the increasing absence of them contributes to the unhealthy fear society has around death and aging... in other words, I read Smoke Gets In Your Eyes and Other Stories from the Crematory this year and it was definitely a lot of interesting food for thought!
the water around the forbidden city in beijing is. WHAT. aldskfajsdlf everything I learn about Beijing makes me want to live there less. not that I'd ever had plans to live in Beijing but seriously what is even HAPPENING in that city
hope you're resting up well over the holidays, anon!!! good luck with next semester!!!
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magpies4nights · 3 months
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huh (Dev log # I'M ON 4?!!?!?!)
Hi guys! It’s me, @magpies4days on a different blog! That’s really the only promise I kept. Whoops. That’s why I don’t do promises. Anyways, since the last time I updated y'all, I passed all my finals and everything that was important. Yep, I passed my finals, which seems miraculous, because I accidentally studied the wrong study guide for my history exam and didn't really sleep enough the night before, and I got a 90 on it, which I'll be honest, that was the lowest grade I've ever gotten on a test in that class, but it's still an A so I won't cry about it. I turned in a really shitty essay too for one of my classes, but it seems that my professor didn’t actually read it because she gave me a 100 (ain’t gonna complain about that). I also procrastinated so hard on my graphic design final that I did it in like 3 hours and finished it 2 minutes before it was late. I still turned it in 5 minutes late because my computer decided it was funny to start acting up. Oh well, I passed that class, even for honor's standards. Normally I would be happy getting a B because I'd get a C and still celebrate but unfortunately I slayed too hard that my GPA was the minimum requirement for the Honor's organization to notice me. That's the Thinker in my Myers Briggs type showing baybee (JK JK I'm an INFP (unfortunately.)). Anyways, I’m on my winter break, and as much as I love getting breaks, god I forgot how much I hate summer and winter breaks. Summer breaks make me depressed because I have nothing to do, and winter breaks make me depressed because it’s literally the worst season of the year (cold weather (I have cold urticaria), dry air, less sun, the position of the sun is weird, and d3 barely does anything).
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Anyways, onto the actual dev stuff. I probably should’ve figured this out the moment I started my idea, but I found out that to export my game to Mac, I’d have to have a developer id and pay for it. Which now I understand why most indie devs never upload to Mac. Oh well. (Fun fact: Mac actually has a feature called BootCamp which lets you portion your hard drive to allow you to have a Windows driver (Be wise on your portioning though because it’s permanent). I found this out when I was 16 and trying to download Pizza Tower demos. Totally not saying that so you could play it on your “Mac,” *wink wink*).
I had to switch my dialog stuff from a script I found on the internet, to an add-on that most Godot devs use ( Dialogic). I know. I am awful. However, there is a reason to this, and it’s entirely because I am an idiot. I have experimented with how Godot exports JSONs, and as it turns out, the images nor the audio would load! The text would, but it’s just not the same, especially when the dialog box is supposed to change with the character speaking. While it could be something in my code that is causing this to happen, or I'm forgetting to export something else while checking off all the boxes, it still gives me a headache and I decided it was for the best to switch. I may not be able to code for now, but there may be a day when I can. Hopefully. I had to change the layout of the dialog stuff because Dialogic kinda makes it like a visual novel kinda thing. I decided to torture myself and make everyone have different heights. Don't worry, everyone has relatively normal heights. Except for mayyybe Sleepy Weepy. They're like 6'2 (which may mean there's some cutoff for their sprites).
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Aaaaanyways, enough about me suffering about dialog again. I’ve been working on the beginning and ending cutscene so that I can first torture everyone with 5 minutes of dialog in the beginning and then at the end music with text that may give people a hard time reading the lyrics. The animation isn’t done, but the text kinda is??? I’ll have to revise it like I have the past 56 times because my future self is hard to please, and I think everyone is out of character except Xandra.
Yeahhh, that’s about it so far. I made new music while I was being harassed with finals. Take a gander, but with your ears. Or don't, forcing you is unethical.
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Top 10 Sleepy Weepy of all time!!!!! (This is doesn't even make it in the honorable mentions)
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matan4il · 11 months
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Hello Alice,
it’s miya again :) I hope all has been well with you. I really loved your meta this week & it made me realize the reason I appreciate your analysis so much. You write about buddie but you write about them as buck AND eddie and not like they are one combined single unit. buck and eddie are their own people with different personalities and i think people forget that sometimes when it comes to talking about them together.
I love how the focus of your analysis was eddie and his clear childhood/adolescent trauma dealing with traditional parents who believe in only one way of doing things. I feel like people kinda missed that when talking about eddie & his performing. i know people interpreted the performing line as literal but it’s much deeper than that and you pointed that out very well. it all goes to show you we look at things through so many different lens but i love your focus point so much. you honestly make me want to get better at my own writing and analysis for this two lovers.
I wanted to ask you though on your thoughts about buck downplaying his brush with death. He never has explicitly said out loud “i died” & I do think that moments coming soon. I just found it interesting that everyone keeps reiterating that to him & i wonder if he’ll snap the next time someone says it. Buck has not processed or accepted that his trauma happened. him referring to him literally dying as “an accident on the job” breaks my heart cause you can tell he wants people to stop making a big deal of it, despite it being very serious. he is suppressing his trauma which i understand as someone with ptsd. anyways sorry for my rambling. buck is my favorite & character i connect to the most so i tend to babble a lot lol. hope you have a lovely rest of your day/evening/night whenever you see this ❤️
Miya, you darling! :D I'm always so happy to hear from you! I've had a very challenging week (which is not yet over... when you read this, I'll probably be recovering from another double shift), but the feedback on everything that I was most stressing out about has been amazing, so I'm exhausted, but very satisfied! How are you? Well, I hope!
Awww! Yes, that's exactly it! I think I even explained it in one of my earlier weekly meta posts, that I'll be writing about Buck, Eddie AND BuckandEddie. So I'm glad that's something you not only noticed, but also enjoy! ^u^ Thank you SO MUCH for the kind words! And I'm particularly please to learned you liked my POV on Eddie in my 614 meta. I know I've spoken to a very perceptive friend of mine back when... I think it was still s3 airing? Or possibly start of season 4, and despite how smart and insightful she is, she had missed the bit about Eddie's conversation with Bobby back in 217. So yeah, I think a lot of people might have? We all miss something, since 911 serves us with so much goodness. And I'm glad if in this case, this is something I can add to the table.
I fully agree with you, Buck is not really coping with what happened, given the fact that he's not yet said it out loud, and other characters have to remind him of it repeatedly. I also wondered this week if his PT scores being low is also a reflection of him still struggling with the lightning strike and how to recover from it. Because remember in 301, when he was coming back from the fire truck crushing his leg? He still aced his re-qualification exam. Even after he also suffered a pulmonary embolism during that very same period of time AND survived (and rescued others during) a tsunami, we never got any indication that his physical ability to bounce back had been diminished. So that suddenly changing? It could be a sign of the gravity of the matter, and how this is different, and Buck has to wrap his head around it, but because he hasn't yet, his full recovery is also stalling. I don't wanna get too much into spoilers, but based on the little that we do know about the finale, I feel like if this isn't addressed before the end of the season, then it should be in its very last ep. The themes seem like they would easily lend themselves to it, in any case. I hope that's what happens! If it also leads to some breakthrough with Eddie, one of them finally, finally ADMITTING what the other one means to them, I would be ecstatic, but I would absolutely take the win if we simply see Buck starting to actually face the trauma he had just been through.
Thank you again for your wonderful ask! I hope you're having a great day. As always, my ask tag. xoxox
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behoeve · 5 months
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Whatever I say I will never be as smart as you <3333 And you don't have to say you're joking bestie I wouldn't mind even if you weren't :33 (you can literally say and treat me any way you like just be yourself) Oh what did you do when you two went out? Happy to hear you're socialising and going out!! (As exhausting as it is important) You live in the same city!! That's definitely fate c: I understand why you'd want more classes with her, but not having a reason to see her at college never stopped you from making a reason to see her outside of it :33 Weirdly enough I'm usually the extroverted friend even though I would prefer to stay in someones shadow where its safe.
Not being allowed to take an exam depends on other people and not just you??? Horrifying. It's a big difference from bulgarian education though, because I had like one group assignment the whole 4 years I went to uni. (I always get to just present everything and other people do the rest of the work because I get paired with smart and anxious people. WHICH IS FUNNY because I hated presenting but being put in that kind of situation a million times made me kind of used to it). And yeah there's time so no need to think about it right now. Better make some tea and relax while you can ;3
I understand you and find logic in what you're saying, but I don't feel like I deserved it T_T
No bestie, you are a blessing!!! In this short life filled with people I'm thankful for whatever string of events made things possible for the two of us to connect <3333333 I cherish every answer, word and little detail you've shared with me!!! I also thank you for the effort you're putting in!! I know sometimes it's exhausting <33333333333
Good. Any person who knows batshit about you doesn't deserve your attention or a long lasting reaction. (Sometimes even people you know, but that's a bit harder to do) As we have discussed before; People want attention on the internet and will do anything for it, it doesnt matter if they'll be a rock in someones shoe as long as they get what they want. But easiest thing to say even if its nit the smartest is just "fuck em".
Ps. Id love to know if you had breakfast btw!! I thought about you while I had my coffee because it matched the time when you replied to my ask!!! Try to get some sleep if possible and dont forget that you can do anything you put your mind into! <3333 xoxo lysm
noo, that’s literally not true!! there are so many ways, characteristics and conditions in which a person can be smart… and no person can excel in all of them!! so there is no point in comparing such a subjective thing!! you are smart!! even the thing you just wrote with you being adaptable and managing to learn how to present!!
we sat at a cafe and just had a good chat!! initially we were planning to walk around town but it was raining quite heavily so we opted for the cafe… on the way back, we went in one shop tho… bought some nicely smelling pouches you hang in your wardrobe
it’s fckd up with all the projects indeed but there is little you can do about it… i think i find it hard now bc during my bachelor’s for the most part i had several friends with whom i did all the projects and i didn’t have to approach anyone to ask if they had a group already… and since most people in class know each other from their bachelor’s it’s kind of challenging to find a decent group!! got lucky last time with one of the groups!! btw i just texted one of the girls for a course i am starting tomorrow and she said they have a free spot and i am more than welcome to join!!! 2 more to go!! anyway… maybe life is telling me to be more out there idk
my earliest bff is just like you described yourself!! he doesn’t even live in bg and we see each other once a year but every time we are together i feel so powerful!! he navigates social situations so well and i feel so included!! i feel like you would do the same!! <33
i had oatmeal again.. just my go-to when i don’t feel like eating anything else! i usually respond to you on the train bc i don’t have much time in the morning to give you a proper answer!!
love and hugs are coming in your lane!! <333
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naoikyu · 1 year
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The Fourth!!
Hõla Amigos,
to everyone out there who reads these immature useless posts of mine which are mostly or lets just say always of me ranting about my issues in my teenage life (I'm 17 btw). So u might or might not have noticed the ! mark beside the title, if u did then good job *pat, if u didn't well u did now so, good job *pat. I'm in an absolutely good mood. It's the beginning of 27th January 2023, 5 days to go for THE exam which I think i will do well maybe slightly well, anyway hoping for the best. So here's the tea about my life, I've officially cut off all my connection with those toxic people from my grade and never have I ever felt so damn free and good, as I don't need constant approval of what I'm doing and I don't need to get praised for everything I do, I mean they used to praise each other even for chugging a water bottle in one go which I thought was necessary cuz well I can be influenced easily. I spoke about this all about my two best friends and the best advice I got was, "Forget the people, forget what happend but, don't forget the lesson". That was so meaningful full and I'm really thankful I have people in my life who can give me such advice. I also spoke to another person we used to be close but then she has her own group and I used to but still we are good friends and she has been through the same with the same ppl like me anyway I helped her then and she repaid the favour. Calling it like a favour isn't ryt ig, she was always there for me no favours but yea a support I can lean on at any time of the day. Anyway that's a chapter closed and in the journal I wrote about them I gonna write maximum one more entry after the exam is done and put it away forever. I will still have it and take it with me everywhere cuz I don't want others to read, this is a chapter closed and in a few months a new chapter starts and the set is gonna be whatever university I will be getting in. I still hope they have a great life ahead cuz even if they didn't consider me their friend and only pretended to be one for me but I did, I considered one of them as one of my best friends too but yea it doesn't matter anymore. Wishing that what happend to me to re-happen in their life wouldn't make me any different from the ppl I resent (them) and I beg to differ so yea but still I hope everyone what they deserves at the end. After all, all this journey is for a happy ending isn't it (kinda girly or princessy but doesn't matter I want a happy ending in whatever way form it may come all that matters is happiness)
IDK if I will get a relationship or more drama or feel more burdened BUT one thing's for sure I will make friends that are gonna be worth calling friends for life. There's only requirement to become my friend Don't Be Toxic, that's all. If you're an introvert no problem mate I got you, I have two best friends who are the world's biggest introverts,
Have a great day ppl,
𝒜𝒹𝒾𝑜𝓈
naoikyu
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sunshinezei · 1 year
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hey i'm here again
feeling rly sad rn for alot of reasons
i tried rly hard again today
but i just feel like a mess
there's things i can do to lessen that feeling and make myself feel better
for now i put my study bed table and stuff away
bc i'm rly overwhelmed all of a sudden
i think it started a bit ago i was struggling to finish my burger
and idk i just got overwhelmed
i'm really tired
this isn't a vent there's stuff i can do to help myself feel better
the first one being taking a break and resting
i'm going to go on my phone and sleep for a few hours then study again later
technically i've been using my phone but it's just for the shows i put on to be able to focus on studying especially with math (new girl and bob's burgers)
the final i have on monday is mathematical modeling and it's stressing me out so i'm trying to get at least some of it understood
i don't want to give up hope and not be able to at least try the questions it feels horrible to not understand anything in an exam to the point that you can't write anything but your name
it's okay that i'm sad and tired now
i'll take a break and try again later
i'm going to be looking for comfort around on my phone whether that's in my gallery / social media
might come back and update
but this isn't a sad update
i'm just overwhelmed
and i guess feeling alone
like a random classmate messaged me for help with something and i immediately helped them
i'm always happy to help
but i can't rly do that for myself with anyone they're always busy no one ever answers my questions / helps me out
i've had this happen since i was rly young so i've always tried to help myself as much as possible
but you know the feeling when someone is like ah can i ask u for help with something? and you're like i'm sorry i don't know how much help i can give you'd probably be better off without me and you're wasting your time asking me?
i feel like that with myself
i'm not smart but i rly try hard to understand things it's always been difficult for me
i've always felt a lot of levels lower than everyone i was in class with - doesn't matter what class i just knew i had to note down my questions down so i could self-study later
but my problem is that i haven't rly had the energy in the past years to self-study twice the material everyone has to study
so that pushed me back even more
one of the reasons my anxiety is terrible in class is that - i try to forget about it
i'm rly good at distracting myself
i forget important stressful things all the time
stresses me out even more bc every few hours i remember i have finals and it's like a whole new level of panic and stress everytime
waking up with heart palpitations isn't fun
idk what to do
but i do have kind of a plan in my head
so i'll come back before i sleep so i can plan how my day's starting tomorrow
i am rly sleepy so that's good i guess
and again this feels like it's not an achievement seeing as my final is on monday
but i went through a whole lecture today
and i tried my best to understand it
i'll post some of my studying later maybe
bc idk i try really hard it's really difficult to do anything i feel like crying just thinking about it
ah anyway
not a sad update
i'm going to look for comfort and i'll be back
if you're reading this wow i'm surprised but i hope you're okay
if you're like me and get worried / concerned about people easily don't be i'll be ok i just need a break :)
01:33 07/01/23
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sequinhaze · 2 years
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(hey, i realized i didn't sign myself off last time, i'm fanfic anon, hi again, sorry in advance for the random offloading :) )
thanks for letting me rant about my possibly terfy friend on your blog before, i was happy to get it out :)
and um... fuck.
so, it kinda started off a while ago actually, a few months back, she started getting into feminism and it was okay at the time. i found one of her feminist books and found it enlightening so i thought maybe i'd also look more into feminism too. i told her i was interested, and she got excited and gave me her tumblr blog url for reblogging feminist stuff though she didn't really post on there much.
about a month ago, her blog shows up on my dashboard for the first time in a while. i was kinda surprised, but it was a pretty innocent reblog about feminism. then i realize she's started reblogging on her blog a lot more than usual, and when i scrolled through, some of them looked a bit suspicious in the way they were worded, and the posts reminded me of some shit i'd read on some terf blogs i'd blocked ages ago. that's where i got worried. my exams had me forget about her for some time, and then when they finished earlier this week (yay for that i guess) i remembered her again, got even more worried, so i dropped my little vent in your inbox.
anyway, i unfollowed her, but i still went to check on her blog at random points because i think i was hoping she'd randomly post something supportive of trans people so my fears could be assuaged somehow. and no, that didn't happen. actually, i didn't even have to check her blog, she shared a "hilarious" post in discord with a video of a very happy trans person in it. and underneath the video, there's a bunch of tumblr terfs saying the absolute shittiest shite underneath it, and they were laughing at the trans person's expense and it was absolutely awful. 'my friend' ended getting into an argument because other people in the discord were furious about it, telling her it wasn't funny at all. she got defensive and just dropped out of the argument. i blocked her on all my social medias after that.
i'm currently just talking with my other good friend on what we should tell her once we see her in person again, because we want to tell her to her face that we don't want to talk to her. i would love to maybe try and educate her, but she's very defensive and dismissive, so i know she'd ignore it if we tried. we're kind of going back and forth between just dumping her, or trying to pull her away before she gets deeper into the ideology.
anyway, again, sorry about the random offloading, i won't mind if you don't want to answer this.
i guess just as a lighter ask, how did you come up with your url? i don't know if you've answered it before, but i've been curious for a while.
take care of yourself <3
fanfic anon
babe, i am so sorry you are friends with a person like that, i get how it's very hard to cut off someone with such a toxic ideology, but trying to educate someone who doesn't want to educate themselves isn't always the safest option
think about your safety and your comfort first, yeah? that's what's most important, and it's completely alright and valid if you don't want to be friends with her anymore
i admire so much that you're finding ways to tackle this issue instead of ignoring it, mad props to you for that
i hope you find a way out of that situation my dude, i truly do, please keep me updated. i care about all the stuff you guys tell me about, and it's important to me to know you're happy and safe🍪🍪🍪💓
and to answer your question, my cousin and i had a hedgehog, her name was seren, and we used to call her hámster de batalla (doesn't need translation does it? hahaha), and i started calling her battle hamster in english bc it sounds cute. eventually i thought, eh, it makes a good username, so that's how i chose it
sadly our seren passed away a few weeks ago because she developed wobbly hedgehog syndrome and we had to put her down, but the username is staying anyway, i think we're all attached to it at this point🤣💓
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clumsyclifford · 2 years
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helloooo bella, it’s luke a like anon (back to being a mysterious anon after forgetting last time lol) (don’t worry tho, i don’t mind you knowing who i am and i doubt anyone else cared).
how are you doing??? i am alive and have not forgotten about you, just sent those last asks and immediately got hit with real life and just.. yeah i’ve had some weeks oof. but all is well now and i’m seeing 5sos in hamburg tomorrow i’m so PUMPED! its my first show after over 2 years and the fact that it’s 5sos is so so special to me, they really kept me afloat through these goddamn plague times, i love them so much!!!
luke a like and i are still talking, still in that weird are they aren’t they stage, but he’s coming home from his internship today and will be back at work next week so that’s that. we met a few times while he was away and i can report that he gives incredible hugs and smells very good. honestly this crush is getting very embarrassing (what am i, 14???) and our coworkers make fun of me 24/7 bc apparently i’m very obvious so i’m just gonna have to suck it up and make an actual move some time soon.
in other news, i actually got into the maine recently after seeing them on your blog so thank you for that, your music taste is just *chefs kiss* might start watching teen wolf too, just for good measure
anyway, what have you been up to since i so rudely left you on read? tell me about itttt (if you like). sending lots of love and a promise of luke pics if i can get close enough tomorrow xx
LUKE A LIKE ANON!!!! HELLO!!!!!! and don't worry, i literally do not remember what your url is, so it's just like you never revealed your identity. sometimes there are benefits to having a swiss cheese memory after all
i'm doing rather well!!! today is the last day of a show i'm doing ushering/front of house work for at my school (as part of a drama "class" where people have to work certain crew assignments) which means that strike is today, and i have never participated in a show strike in college but my friend says it will probably take, like, four hours, which i am not at all excited about. and then after that i have to study for an exam i have on tuesday, AND i have to figure out what i'm writing for three short papers that i have that are ALSO due on tuesday. so i have a fair amount going on ! but honestly overall i'm okay. once tuesday is over so will most of my stress be, so that's nice.
ahhh!!!!!!! finally seeing 5sos!!!!!!! i'm so happy for you 😊 that really is so so special i hope you have the most amazing time.
omggggggggg i am on the EDGE OF MY SEAT about luke a like.........but hey i'm glad to hear you managed to keep talking while he was away. and even meet up! and now he's coming BACK!!! i agree with your coworkers you are gonna have to make a move sooner or later. i am sending you strength.
you're joking sfdkglhfg this is fantastic news i'm so happy to hear this please say more, what did you listen to what was your favorite song you heard can i entice you into listening to other songs/albums of theirs perhaps. i would probably cry real tears of happiness if you started watching teen wolf that is a threat and a promise. wow this is crazy i really am a one-woman street team where are my royalties @ johno
anyway i have to get ready to go to the show now and hopefully eat something beforehand. please do provide luke pics if you take any good ones eyes emoji or really just any good pictures you get at all, i would like to see them. hey have the most fun EVER tomorrow!!! i'm so stoked for you that you get to see 5sos, it's gonna be so amazing
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saheira-dreams · 2 months
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22/01/2024
Happy belated new year!!!
So I was abroad this holiday and basically FORGOT that Tumblr existed and that I had even started a blog which, now that I think about it, really annoys me. Like, how do I forget about something like that?
Anyway, school started a couple weeks ago and I'M WRITING MY IGCSEs THIS YEAR. I have like 8 months left which actually seems like such a short time and I'm not JUST a science student so if you put together bio + chem + physics + comp sci + HISTORY (there's an actual shit load of content there) + all that french VOCAB + those 15 poems for literature which I haven't touched since last year along with a novel, and two other plays we'll be doing this year, all for literature, I get a TON of stuff of study.
And because it's our IGCSE year, our teachers are taking things really seriously-- we've got afternoon lessons and Saturday classes. This is all really hectic and tiring but you know what?
I actually enjoy it.
I feel like, we're making valuable memories which I may think back to a decade later. Who knows where I'll be?! My friends and I try to be there for each other, make jokes, chat in between (and sometimes during) classes, pass notes and just have a good time together through the dreary lessons. Honestly, when I think back on it now, the events of today, of Saturday, of Friday last week, my heart feels...warm?
I don't know if it's like 2024 energy or something but I think I decided to better myself, for myself. I started journalling, I think. I made a pretty cover for the month and a habit tracker to track my daily goals like drinking more water, studying and reading every day etc. And honestly, I'm not doing too bad. I was pretty consistent in recording during the week and only did none of them on Sunday which is now my only weekend day so I shall forgive myself for missing Sundays.
I've been obsessed with green and stem academia more (I even edited my intro). I don't know why, green academia kind of just resonates with me and STEM academia just gives me motivation. For the longest time, I just didn't know what I wanted to do, despite taking quizzes and stuff, but finally decided that I would be a doctor or somewhere near to that. But I didn't know what kind of doctor I wanted to be, nor did I have any motivation, and STEM academia just gives me an insight into the life I may lead by pursuing medicine which gives me motivation to work hard now rather than to regret it later and get a life I will be proud of. Chaotic academia is still a part of me, no question! I'm generally chaotic so my lifestyle just has chaos integrated into it. I can't get rid of it anytime soon XD
Anyway, that was a long rant. I'll try to post more often so that my posts will be shorter and not as long as this XD
To all the students out there, good luck with your studies, exams, homework and school life in general!!
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ainomica · 3 months
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[African American] Ugh the Ben solo fanoization
Reminds me of another character I like
So the other character is a former child assassin, now his creator wanted to kill him off after he was done writing him. Now the character is back…but he got that “Writers loathe me but infantilize the living shit out of the hero relatives I’m related of that do the barebones or nothing to help me” situation Ben got
Now the fans think the other character I liked need to a “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD!” type of character who only thought is murder
Even though the side of the family he got his assassin skills from are ecoterrorists which fans (and frankly the modern writers) forget
Or a sweet innocent cinnamon roll that is declawed to the point he acts like a toddler
Now as I stated in the past, my tweens years were hell, I lost my mother at 9, had a abusive stepmother, went to foster care at 11, went to live with my aunt at 13
HUGE FOMO as I missed out on Harry Potter phenomenon (though looking at the discourse surrounding it, thank god I didn’t deitizie Rowling and got into pjo more), the early days of the MCU etc.
Now I’m going to be 24 in April, yes better off now. But as an autistic zoomer, I still feel alienated to the world. Sorry for these emotional dump
But for Ben solo, a lot of fans like shippers with me being one of the few liking his character want him to be doormat as that what a lot shippers done over the years. My Ben is like
Another character: You just blew up one of our enemies biggest space stations and you only been here for a week
Ben: It’s a family tradition and I may one up my uncle in a month.
But when fans use Flanderization to the extreme.
True. Like it's tough being in fandom when you like some if not all of the qualities of the original and is not interested in other creative people trying to masquerading their OC ideas as the character I like and then act condescending when we complain about it. Recently that is what happened in tgcf twitter fandom when fanon stans got water thrown over their lalaland when canon lovers didn't enjoy season 2 of donghua as much because the insane liberties it's started to take to censor and change personalities of main character.
Frankly there is nothing wrong with feeling like you don't fit in with current Zeitgeist because you are not even alone. I also skipped pjo HP and Hunger game mania when I was in my teens because anything outside the syllabus book was not encouraged to read by both my school and parents ( I was also in my board exam races back then good luck trying to read "for hobby" lol) . But that never bothered me because I always thought these books are entertainment anyway it's not a big deal or I am missing out on some knowledge or good if I never read it.
Turns out I was right. I only read HG books as an adult post undergrad and glad I did it then because I understand what it was trying to say without getting obsessed with the District categorisation or whatever was going on. I was happy with being the "serious boring reader". There are also mch better fantasy books out there which didn't get mainstream attention and one can read them anytime. Being like everyone else isn't always a bad thing although yeah it does make doing small talk awkward perhaps sometime 😛
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