#anyways the best way to 'talk' to a therapist would be to send them my years' worth of journaling... it's a long read tho

[neil-gaiman]

Hi Neil.

I know you are flooded with asks and this somehow became extremely long. Too long. “Why am I suddenly telling this poor man my life story?” too long. “I think I’d rather he work on the GO3 script than read this wild beast” too long. “He’s going to think you’re criminally dangerously insane” too long. If you never get to it, I’m good with never seeing a response from you. Maybe it’s better that way? Maybe an anon would have been nice here. But, it’s 2024, so I say “we ball.” It’s a privilege to be able to send this to you at all. You get a lot to this effect and I hope they give you good feels, so maybe what’s the harm, yeah? Because this is not an ask. This is a thank you letter.

First, thanks for reblogging my therapist post, I hope it amused you. I nearly sent you “How am i supposed to explain this to my therapist?!” But refrained. At that time.

So, therapy. What is therapy really? Well…

Things have been really rotten for as long as I can remember. Bad health, bad doctors, bad relationships, bad coping mechanisms, bad all kinds of things. (Yeah, bad is a weak and unhelpful word, my therapist reminds me, but we’re doing this.)

Well, things got even more really really rotten and BAD these last few years. Health declined further, coping mechanisms declined further and more intensely, packed up my life, applied for disability, moved back in with my parents across the country.

Then 4 years ago last week I watched my fiance die of a sudden heart attack. I was 29. Two years later my best friend died. Then last summer I sauntered vaguely into a cancer scare. Not long before an operation my cat who has been my companion through so much garbage died as well. I’m not entirely in the clear on the cancer scare front. All my attempts at going back to work, volunteering, going to grad school - they collapsed on me because I couldn’t get through this STUFF.

(Sometimes when I talk about this, when I tell people, I think “they are going to think you are a raging pathological liar.” Because I’m not sure I would believe someone if they told me all of this happened to them. In such a short time period. All before they were 35. And hell if that hasn’t been isolating. You know how it sounds? Lonely. And it is.)

I did the hypervigilant and sensation/experience chasing stage of PTSD. It got me in a lot of trouble in all kinds of ways. I had to do a lot of medical and psych advocating because things kept getting worse. That was exhausting. Then that peaked. I went into the thick of the “I feel absolutely nothing” stage for a long time. I didn’t feel fatigue or hunger or thirst. Not people, feelings, a reason. Not hope.

But of course, like seems be for a lot of us, I somehow found Good Omens at just the right time. I was a very “I’m so cool and intellectual I mostly consume non-fiction media” person for too long. Like, what? How is that even a real thing? And it wasn’t real. It was just part of this curated autism mask that I don’t think anyone really bought anyway.

I think I got to a point where I’d just had too much reality. I needed fantasy. I didn’t realize I always needed it. But I denied myself for too many odd and painful reasons. Maybe I thought it was an escape I didn’t deserve.

But as it turns out, it wasn’t an escape. I watched both seasons last fall, and then this light came on. I watched it again and again.

I came to tumblr because I needed more. I found this fandom. I stepped into this beautiful world of fanart and fanfiction and brain flexing meta writing and a sense of community and wonder that you and Terry created - that everyone involved in the show inflated - exploded in the right way - like fireworks if fireworks were some kind of autocatalytic reaction - a self perpetuating force.

It’s not a “saved my life” feeling. Not a “getting my life back” feeling. It’s been a “maybe it’s time for you to have the life you’ve always been denied - that you’ve denied yourself” feeling.

I’m creating. I’m not “great” yet. Not terribly “good” at all. Maybe “behind” as far as the “proper” timeline for starting. I know there isn’t one, not really, but boy does that society machine make ya feel like there is. And sure, I started and stopped a lot in the past. But the second it got hard I always gave up. I felt like if I didn’t get it “right” to begin with, then I just didn’t have it in me at all. But for once I’m really in it. I’m writing and trying to draw things that look less like fever dream five year old drawings. (Not that there’s anything wrong with those, is there? 🙃) I’m eating better. I’m sleeping better. I reach out to old friends more. I’ve made new friends who share this love of Good Omens.

My therapist has been floored by the change in me. After that first funny mini flop, he has been so encouraging about it. I saw him this week and I said “Maybe this is helping me get prepared to start living again. Maybe it’s a springboard.” And he honest to god said “But You ARE living. This is YOU LIVING. Why does it have to be a springboard? Why do you have to turn this into ‘work?’ Just let yourself have this for once in your life.”

But there were two more added elements that made it all work. And I can’t help but think this whole brainrot thing wouldn’t have happened without them. So many things just happened all at just the right time - a proper coincidence.

In all of the madness of the last few years I finally got the memo that I'm autistic. i figured I was for a while. But it finally sunk in for me and my docs and my people. So I’d been working on unpacking that. Grieving the life that could have been entirely different, shedding the mask. I let myself hyperfixate openly instead of hiding it and hating myself for “spiralling” or “obsessing” like others -!like ‘I’ always punished myself for before we knew that it was a trait and not a personality flaw.

Then over the last few months my therapist and I started trying this new exercise. One session he stopped me and said “in the last 20 minutes you have responded to what I’ve said with 9 ‘I knows.’” My response to that? “Ugh, I know.” So we started this “I know” swear jar type situation. Really, I’ve been afraid of not knowing. I couldn’t let myself “not know.” Because it meant I was “dumb.” I was just drowning for so long in guilt and self loathing for the “I knew better and screwed up anyway.” Or “I should’ve known better - I should know that by now.”

As it turns out, there’s a lot of things I don’t know. That I didn’t know. Things I will never know. And refusing to admit all of that kept me from learning a damn thing. Kept me from asking questions. Kept me from trying new things because it was scary to do something new - something unknown - and I "knew" how it would all turn out anyway. Kept me from connecting with people because it was painful or embarrassing when they knew things I didn’t and it seemed like I already should have. Kept me from getting better at making art, music, writing. Kept me from forgiving myself. Kept me from growing. And kept me from moving forward. Maybe not on. I don’t know if we ever “move on” from things. But we can move forward as we carry them. And as we do, the weight gets less. We’re able to carry it better. But only if we can admit that we don’t know how. Only if we don’t treat ourselves like this is something we do know or should know and we’re just failing because we’re less than. Not good enough. Not strong enough. Not deserving. We have to be able to say “I don’t know how to do this.” And then we can start looking for the answers. We can ask. We can learn.

I thought about the apple. Being able to tell the difference between good and evil. Aziraphale’s years and years of watching what he “knows” to be true be proven wrong. Crowley’s need to ask questions…

The simple and enormous gift of “Knowledge.” The “Knowledge” of the difference between Good and Evil. The “Knowledge” that can only be gained by realizing, accepting, admitting that there are things we don’t know. Asking the questions. Sometimes we get answers we don’t like. Sometimes the consequences of asking hurt us. And unless you want to stay in that painful place that painful knowledge got you, well, you’ve got to let yourself learn how to get out.

So all of this good? I never expected this. I never thought I deserved it. Joy and belonging and this sense that “Yeah, maybe things can get better. Maybe things can be good.” Because I said those things, not truly believing them, to the people I thought needed to hear it. But it couldn’t save them. It was hollow. The proof for us wasn’t really in our orbit or on our radar at the time. And now they’re gone.

People always say “it’s never too late.”

One of the people I lost said “it’s later than you think.”

I jokingly would respond “it’s already too late.”

It was for him in the end. For them. For some people I guess it really is. But maybe a lot of the “too late” people are there because they think “they know” that things will never be good for them. So they stop looking, they stop asking, stop finding. And eventually they just stop.

Then there came Crowley’s “It’s always too late.” The first time I heard it I thought “For sure, Crowley-cakes, I KNOW.”

But then…I just needed to rewatch the whole thing. And lines like that…familiar things…familiar themes…I was suddenly identifying with these characters. I suddenly saw myself. And the realization hit - I connected with something! Something new. And I FELT THAT. And that tiny little crack that made in the wall was just enough to start breaking it down. Yeah, when you start letting yourself feel after not feeling for so long, opening up to the good feelings means opening up to feelings and then the bad ones come out too. But when there IS good … it helps you balance. You can deal with the bad a little better because you’ve got the good thing to lean against when it gets too much. And now you’ve got feelings. You’ve got good and bad. You’ve got sticky foggy grey. You’ve got life.

Whew.

So, TLDR, thank you. From the bottom of my slowly healing heart, thank you.

And to sign off with some shits and giggles… I couldn’t find this in existence as a sticker so I had to custom order. Perhaps this will spread misery and panic among the humans of my city - or at least a malignant and creepy sense of unease.

Or maybe they’ll say “wtf” and go home and google it and they’ll fall into the Good Omens hole they never knew they needed too.

Thank you for this. I never quite know what to say to messages like this apart from I am really glad that it helps. (It becomes the weird extra piece that I worry about when writing season 3 -- hoping that it will be that thing again. Not just a story, but something that helps people feel and helps with healing and helps with love.)

[hyeinkiss]

( ♡ )⠀𝒆𝒏𝒉𝒚𝒑𝒆𝒏 as . . . 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑜𝑦𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑 .ᐟ ❝ boy you're such a dream to me ❞ ꒷꒦ ot7 𝑒𝑛ℎ𝑎 𝜗𝜚 ⟢ headcanons & established relationship fluff ৲ 𝖒𝖞 𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔩𝔰 ೀ ㅤ۫ ㅤ۪ㅤ۫ ㅤ ♡ ㅤ

𐙚 . . via's entry ❫ ilysm plz enjoy my first thingy, 2239wc | fem reader .

✦ . . 이희승 ！

bf!heeseung who does aegyo for you and only you! he’d make sure no one else was in close proximity and then go “heedeungie!!” before cringing, and shutting his eyes closed, only reopening them to see your pretty smile.

bf!heeseung who always knows what you want, even if u’ve just glanced at a cute plushie at the store for one second best bet he’ll buy you every plushie from that brand, becoz ur his prince(ss) ofc

bf!heeseung who’d write little romantic ballads for you and call you randomly throughout the day (even during sleep hours!) so that you can hear his melodic voice sing the most shakespearean lyrics about his love for u 🥰

bf!heeseung who is like a bf and a therapist all in one! literally send as many voice messages ranting abt ur life as u can to him becoz he will listen to all of them and then respond with a voice message 10x longer

bf!heeseung who gets a bit impatient… likes listening to u talk but did u know that if u go longer than 42.32 seconds without kissing him he will eventually just stare at your lips and mumble random words while u rant every now and then; it gets you all hot and flustered when you realize where his attention actually is. soon enough, you just go “just kiss me if you want to.” and that’s enough for him to look back up at you, grin and softly press his lips against yours (contrary to popular opinion his kisses would be very soft! 🤓☝️) while grabbing both your shoulders with his hands

bf!heeseung who loves ur shoulders for some reason?? i just have this gut feeling that his favorite part about you is your shoulders?? like idk why, my heeseung senses r just tingling. anyways yes, he’d rest his head on your shoulders, kiss ur shoulders, put his arms over your shoulders and around your neck and whatnot!

✦ . . 박종성 ！

bf!jay who’d spent astronomical amounts of money (willingly :)) in just a week!! he refuses to buy you cheap counterparts, expensive is what his pretty lover deserves !

bf!jay WHO WOULD COOK THE MOST GOURMET MEALS FOR YOU! if it is a cultural dish, he will take time out of his day to cook in the kitchen with you until he learns how to make said cultural dish, then he will make it for u 4ever and ever!!! jay is certainly a caring partner

bf!jay who gives u sm partner privilege it’s insane. like he’d do anything for you without a second doubt. ask him to help you look for ur phone? no need, he’s already bought you 10 different new ones!

bf!jay who is such a romantic partner?? like if ur at work late, he will set up a whole candlelit dinner (hand made cuisine) with “moonlight” by kali uchis playing in the background. (jay looks like that song :3)

bf!jay likes tracing his fingers over your delicately placed features like you were sculpted by Greek Gods, and he’s nothing but a mere commoner admiring your beauty.

bf!jay gets matching things for you two ☹️ matching pandora rings, matching shoes/heels, what is there that he wouldn’t wear to twin with you! hell, he’d even do that cute thing where he matched the color of his tie to your dress!

bf!jay who does likes to go out with you, but he also likes to stay in! no matter what, he wants to be with you.

bf!jay who thinks that reading a romcom cuddled up with you under rain is a perfect way to spend saturday afternoon! (hint: he doesn’t usually like to read romcoms, he just loves spending time with you too much to say no 💖)

to conclude, jay just loves to do things for you. he always tries to impress you/make himself the perfect boyfriend for you by planning dates, getting u gifts, and doing whatever you need at all times (i feel like he believes he’ll never be good enough for u 😕)

✦ . . 심재윤 ！

bf!jake who gets so shy around u?? like stop u could stare at him and when he finally notices he’ll giggle like a little girl about it. he has the biggest crush on you ever it’s unbelievable

“okay fine, i love you more than my dog. i love you more than anyone, actually. is that weird?”

bf!jake who is a playful and lighthearted person, he truly does not have the capability to get mad at you 💞

but ofc he’s human, so when you two (somehow) get into arguments, he’ll always be the one to show up at your door at like 3am with a cute pout on his face because he misses you (it’s been 6 hours since you guys have last talked??) anyways how could you say no to his puppy face! obviously, u let him in and you two cuddle the night away

bf!jake who calls you layla’s mom and gets like cuteness aggression when he sees you and layla together

bf!jake who would say “this is for you” before shooting a hoop (and missing) for shits n giggles

bf!jake who clings onto you like his life depends on it……. this guy is so clingy???? like stop u won’t be able to use your non dominant hand at all because jake is just grabbing onto it for dear life

bf!jake who would LOVEE if his girlfriend had soft and plush cheeks. he’d squish ur face and giggle continuously at how cute you looked, pouty-faced and all.

bf!jake who likes simple yet planned out dates. picnics, arcade dates, carnival dates, and more are all apart of his comfort zone! but if you wanted to try anything new, he’d totally be up for it

bf!jake who loves u sososo unconditionally and always sticks by your side!! he’s like the type to agree with you in public and softly correct you in private.

bf!jake who smothers you with affection hourly reminds you everyday that he loves ur hair, ur face, ur body, ur legs, ur hands, and most importantly, YOU!!!

✦ . . 박성훈 ！

bf!sunghoon who would take you on ice skating dates and then take photos of you slipping on the ice (which don’t even come out that good because he’s busy laughing 🙄 )

bf!sunghoon who teases you then smirks when you get flustered like you teasing him doesn’t result in him having a mental breakdown of some sorts??? like boy plz

bf!sunghoon WHO IS SO SASSY OVER TEXT?? he’s literally your princess. “🙄🫸” is his go to emoji combo

bf!sunghoon who posts mirror selfies of the two of you and tries to be mysterious in the captions: “me n my girl 🖤”

bf!sunghoon who learns random english phrases (or ur main language) to impress you with

bf!sunghoon who wants to match styles with his s/o. would love to be the classy, romantic, sort of private couple.

bf!sunghoon who isn’t that into pda but if someone else starts flirting with you or even looks at you he’ll start being all touchy until the other person goes away. he’s super protective of u but doesn’t really show it that often

bf!sunghoon who pretends to be annoyed when you steal his hoodies knowing damn well he likes when you take his hoodies because they always smell like you after you give them back!!!!!

bf!sunghoon who loves to go on late night walks with you. everytime he sees a wildflower, he’ll pluck it for you and tuck it in your hair

bf!sunghoon who definitely can not fall asleep unless he gets a goodnight kiss from you 💖

✦ . . 김선우 ！

as your boyfriend, sunoo would love your hair sm.

especially if you had long hair he’d buy you shampoos, conditioners, everything! he’d also love to blow dry your hair for you and style it and everything

bf!sunoo would 100% let you sit on his lap and practice your makeup on him!!

bf!sunoo who would love to bake with you!!!! like he would make cakes and then use icing to spell out you two’s intials on the top

bf!sunoo who’s favorite form of affection is holding hands 💞 he’d do the thumb thing and adores when you grabs his hand randomly throughout the day, it gives him butterflies!

bf!sunoo who gets you small bouquets of tulips everytime he sees you!

bf!sunoo who loves to lay on your chest while cuddling and listen to your heartbeat (not in a creepy way, it’s just super comforting for him)

bf!sunoo who places gentle kisses all over your face before you fall asleep. he always makes sure to fall asleep after you so you’re comfortable

bf!sunoo who goes over your drama with you and hates whoever you hate. he’s your best friend and your boyfriend all at once!

bf!sunoo who is insanely creative when it comes to date ideas. he will make sure that he is the one planning dates most/all of the time!! his favorites are picnics, art dates, café dates and museum dates!!

bf!sunoo who loves to have a runway show in your bedroom after every one of your shopping trips!! he would coordinate the outfits and then cheer you on as you strut down the hallway

sunoo would tease you (not that much tho) about your height (would love a short gf!!) and then giggle about it and you just have to accept it cuz it makes him happy and his smile is literally the prettiest thing ever

bf!sunoo who genuinely does not know how to hate you, he’d give the softest love ever ☹️

✦ . . 양정원 ！

bf!jungwon who loves to tickle you. ik it sounds weird but just hear me out 🥰 he’d definitely just tickle the side of your waist randomly while you guys are cuddling just to hear your laugh and annoy you

bf!jungwon who prefers to be called “won” or other nicknames/petnames by you rather than his real name. would pout if you ever called him “jungwon” and go “hey!”

bf!jungwon who keeps a collection of cute photos of you on his phone to go through when he misses u ☹️ it’s genuinely so wholesome.

bf!jungwon also would keep a folder of just a bunch of 0.5 photos of you doing random things and make them your pfp on all messaging apps.

bf!jungwon who does silly little tiktok couple trends with you whenever you ask him to

bf!jungwon would ask you to do a spin everyday to see your outfit and then gush about how good you look!!

bf!jungwon, who often stays up late at night with you while the two of you talk about the future family you will have. | a conversation between the two of you would go, “we’ll have two kids! or three? or four?” “no, we’ll have cats instead. two cats, and one of them is you!”

bf!jungwon who ruffles your hair teasingly only to fix it again, pulling at each strand and placing it in its place gently

bf!jungwon who texts you random romantic song lyrics throughout the day, which never fail to fluster you and make you giggle

bf!jungwon who is a sucker for cheek kisses. before you leave him, he’d be like “oh, you’re forgetting something :(“ and you’d always play along, “what?” you’d say with a giggle as he’d point to his cheek, the place where you’d leave a small but loving peck!

✦ . . 西村力 ！

bf!riki who gets butterflies whenever you call him his real name, riki, over his stage name. it makes him feel closer to you 💞

bf!riki who would make playlists for the two of you, naming them with you guys’ initials.

bf!riki who’d always had this fantasy of teaching his future girlfriend to dance, and that’s exactly what he does with you. he’d slowly wrap his arms around your own and guide them to the music.

bf!riki just would not let you get out of bed?? like every morning it’s a struggle for you 💔 “ni-ki let me go i’ll be late!” “no, 5 more minutes 😠” and how could u say no

bf!riki who always giggles in between kisses, causing you to pull away and lean your forehead on his while the two of you smile at one another fondly

bf!riki who LOVES to see u in his hoodies!! in fact, he’d even leave his hoodies at ur house just to see you wear it, and then tease you for it. “ew, give me back my hoodie, stinky.” he’d say, but in his head he’s kicking his feet at how ur body is engulfed by the cloth which is 10x too long for you.

bf!riki who pulls you out of bed late at night for impromptu 3AM walks to the convenience store.

bf!riki would teach you japanese and absolutely die everytime you try to say something in japanese for him

bf!riki who would tease you so much, especially if you were shorter than him, he’d misplace your things, putting them on high shelves and whatnot so you have no choice but to ask him to grab it for you

bf!riki who is super shy in front of other people, but when it’s just you two he gets super physical and touchy and affectionate!

bf!riki who mumbles sweet nothings into the crook of your neck while you two are cuddling after he’s sure you’ve fell asleep 💤 💖

tysm for reading! 𓂃 back to the library !

⠀

#☆ hyeinkiss #enhypen #enhypen nishimura riki #enhypen kim sunoo #enhypen jake #enhypen sim jaeyun #sim jaeyun #enhypen park sunghoon #enhypen sunghoon #park sunghoon #enhypen soft hours #enhypen boyfriend #boyfriend #enhypen heeseung #enhypen jungwon #yang jungwon #lee heeseung #enha #headcanons #enhypen lee heeseung #enhypen yang jungwon #ni-ki #riki #heeseung #fluff #kpop #layout #kpop layout #enhypen headcanons

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for block evading to make sure someone is still alive?

So this whole situation gets rather complicated and quick, so please bear with me… TW for mention of suicide.

I (20m) previously made friends with a younger artist (about 17f by now if I’m remembering correctly; please keep an open mind here) after being unaware of their age and just following them for their art for a few years. One day, when I was 18 and I believe they were maybe 15-16, I reached out to let them know that I had been deeply influenced by their art and thought a lot of their work was very fun and humorous, and we kept in contact afterward mostly through public chat spaces, just joking around with each other and sharing art and memes and the like.

I want to stress that I had absolutely zero foul intentions here. They were a lonely kid without many friends, and I felt for them; I went through a lot of the same shitty situations (namely an abusive home) they were actively going through, and genuinely all I wanted was to offer them a safe space and a friend. I know that people sometimes get weird about friendships across age gaps, but I sincerely only wanted to help where I could. To this day I’m still not sure if I went about it the right way, but that’s a discussion for my therapist and not for here.

Fast forward some time. I discover that the other artist didn’t have a lot of friends for various reasons that were all linked mostly back to their immaturity, which I didn’t mind considering that they were. Y’know. Kids. But part of this immaturity was just… not understanding time restraints and boundaries, and that reflected back at me, despite multiple instances of me sitting them down and having talks with them about it as gently as I could. These talks were usually just about them messaging me constantly, literally non-stop, in the middle of the night, during school hours, etc etc etc. During this time, I became sick — very sick. I stand now chronically ill and permanently disabled. I was sick, scared, and exhausted, and yet I was expected by this friend to talk to them literally constantly, or else they would get upset. And it took a further toll on my ailing health, because no matter how many times I tried to tell them that I physically couldn’t talk to them as much as they were demanding I do, it never seemed to resonate.

I started reaching out less and less, because I just physically couldn’t handle talking to someone That Much for That Long… It wasn’t personal. It came to a point where our chats went completely silent, and even if I did reach out to try and talk, they wouldn’t reply or would only do so in very short, clipped responses. So I respected the obvious decision they had come to and just… kind of stopped trying to reach out. I was still a follower of theirs, though, so I would visit their profile every now and then just to make sure they were doing okay as a means to soothe my own worries.

Then they made a post alluding to offing themselves, went radio silent across all their platforms for a few days despite my best efforts to reach out, until I tried to check up on them again and found myself blocked everywhere. This made me panic; I genuinely didn’t know what to do. It took me a while to even remember that I could just… log in to a new account online rather than the app to check up on them, and after a few weeks of doing this, I was relieved to find that they’re still doing okay and back to posting semi-regularly. I don’t know the details, but at least they’re alive, y’know? That’s all that matters to me. Now, I just try to check every month or so to make sure they’re okay, and I’ll send them little anon messages trying to uplift them, or tell them to stay strong… I’m aware that it probably falls under stalker territory or something, but I genuinely only want the best for them, and as it stands, I don’t have a whole lot of other ideas for how to at least make sure that they’re okay…

Anyway… I’m making this post because there was another “AITA” post that got torn apart by people for someone evading a block for some reason or another, and I guess I was just compelled to see if this story would get a similar reaction… 🤷‍♂️

So yeah. AITA for block evading to make sure someone is still alive?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

[snowyh2o]

Hazbin Hotel Episode 7&8 Spoilers:

Ok, ok. I’ve finally calmed down a bit. I have. SO many thoughts on Alastor, that I’m just not gonna touch on them in this post, aside from I FUCKING KNEW HE WAS LOSING IT FBSKDNFBSHHDHFBS.

But what I wanna focus on is Rosie! And how she’s been described as the nicest overlord. And how Cannibal Town is like, the nicest place we’ve seen in hell??? The streets are relatively clean, no one is trynna kill each other. There’s so many people out on the streets, just? Going about their days? Aside from the fact that they’re all cannibals, it’s almost like any other town you’d visit! (I am not familiar enough with the fashion styles over the years to like, accurately date what time period Cannibal Town is supposed to reflect, but it feels old (and somewhere Alastor would fit right in with) lol).

And then we actually meet with Rosie, and she’s in the middle of consulting one of her people, where there’s a HUGE line up of others looking like they’re waiting to consult with her too! And like, even before she spoke with Charlie about her love life, she’s giving advice and comfort and support and connecting to the lady she’s speaking with who apparently wants to eat her husband. Before saying that she’ll set the man straight if the lady sends him to her, and gives her a card if she ever needs any more help.

Like. First minute into seeing Rosie and like. WOW. You can IMMEDIATELY tell that this is the reason why everyone in Cannibal Town’s so chill and happy? Why there’s such a sense of order and security in a place that’s basically just anarchy?

Rosie is both the Overlord, the unofficial mayor, the therapist and consultant and your best friend all wrapped up into one. She’s got an entire lineup of people who are waiting to tell her their woes and listen to her advice. And she’s happy to help!

Even the actual cannibalism is like, so posh and proper? Or it’s treated in Cannibal Town as like, normal food. But also it’s very telling that no one’s killing each other for said cannibalism. In fact, the only times we’ve seen them do so is after an extermination, when there’s a bunch of dead bodies that aren’t reviving lying around. (And they seem to lose their manners when eating then) It is likely tho that they just, target outsiders, since everyone we saw aside from Alastor and Charlie were a part of Cannibal Town.

Just the Juxtaposition of a town literally full of Cannibals being probably THE nicest place in hell for sinners to live in??? Immaculate.

Also, Rosie’s snide comment on how Alastor’s got no manners when it comes to being offered food LOL. And, I just LOVE their relationship and interaction. First time chatting in years and she’s already offering up place with a deal for Alastor to go make. That AMAZING little joke about him being Ace and having it COMPLETELY flying over his head. Alastor letting her touch him, and how genuinely excited and happy the two of them are just talking and interacting. Their little duet in the middle of the song, the way Rosie pulls Alastor out of his scheming to just enjoy the moment. Their dance!!! She’s never been wronged by Alastor before!!! She trusts him to follow through on his side of the unofficial bargain/favor. Looking like proud parents when Charlie finds the courage to sing her pitch. I love, everything about these two, oh my god.

Anyways!!! Back to Rosie being just, a genuinely good aunt? And giving so much good advice for Charlie. Asking her the questions that needed to be asked. Rosie has, such good insight? On what the issue was, and why Vaggie would’ve kept something from her. She didn’t shy away from how big the secret was, but she also didn’t let Charlie spiral into questioning every little part of their relationship. And that little end but when she’s saying that Vaggie is flawed, but so is everyone else down in hell. GAWD. How it’s difficult to admit your regrets. Like, if that isn’t the core of the show, the core of Charlie’s dream, then I don’t know what is. Rosie cut through to the heart of the matter, she didn’t tell Charlie what she should feel or how she should act, but asked her what she’s actually feeling, and why, and told her to trust herself and her own judgement on if Vaggie’s actions were sincere or not. Man she’s such a good therapist.

(I’m half convinced Alastor didn’t just bring Charlie to Cannibal Town and see Rosie just because they needed support and numbers to fight against the exorcists, but also because she’s the best person he knows who can give out good relationship advice and he’s getting a little tired of Charlie venting at him. Especially now that she’s past the self loathing phase and has stepped into the unrestrained anger and frustration at someone else phase)

Also, unrelated topic but here’s a thought: only angel steel/holy weapons/powers can do permanent damage to someone’s body/soul. Vaggie’s eye is torn out by Lute’s exorcist blade, but her wings were just ripped off by hand. Vaggie’s eye never regenerated or recovered, but she was able to regrow her wings. Alastor was struck by Adam’s holy weapon across his chest. What if the injury never fully recovers?

And also, Alastor’s talk about “unclipping” his wings. My friend, once a bird’s wings are clipped they can’t be unclipped! You have to wait for the feathers to shed and grow in new ones. To regenerate. Also what is this talk about you having wings??? Don’t tell me you’re ALSO a secret angel??? Probably not cause your blood is red BUT. Where are you hiding those supposed clipped wings of yours eh?!

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #episode 7 spoilers #episode 8 spoilers #hazbin hotel finale spoilers #Rosie #Rosie hazbin hotel #alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #Charlie #charlie hazbin hotel #cannibal town is so fascinating for me #and Rosie is such a dear! #I love seeing a leak into Alastor’s other relationships #but also I just LOVE Rosie herself #another example of how being in hell does not exclude you from being a good person #makes you wonder how or why she ended up there #not that anyone in the series really knows lol #but it /might/ be because of the cannibalism #maybe #anyways my head is too full of Alastor brain rot #to write anything intelligeable about him #so you guys get this Rosie and Cannibal town essay instead

[mooooonnnzz]

i saw that ur requests are open and I JUST NEED SOME KIRI FICS OR I WILL DIE so i was wondering if u could write something about her x f!na'vi!reader, where they're childhood best friends but the reader confesses that she likes her but kiri is in denial with her own feelings and then some other na'vi start to show interest in the reader and kiri gets all jealous and realize that, in fact, she's in love with her? idk if this make sense english is not my first language sorry </3

I won't say (I'm in love) // Kiri x Fem!Navi!Reader

❀ You confess to Kiri how you feel and she freaks out

♡ Content: angst/comfort fic <3 kiri is in DENIALLLL!! lo’ak and neteyam are her therapist (run kiri) THIS IS PROOFREADD YAYY

♡ Word Count: it’s 1k BUT ROUNDED UP it’s 2k LMFAO

♡ Quick Note: FIRST KIRI REQUEST AHHHHHH i literally saw your request and immediately started writing AND NEVER STOPPED ALTHOUGH, i changed up it up a little bit instead of kiri getting jealous. neteyam and lo'ak somewhat help her out to realize her feelings for reader I HOPE THAT'S OKAY i was struggling on the jealousy part and i got the idea of neteyam and lo'ak helping her so I RAN WITH IT BUT HERES UR LONG AWAITED KIRI FIC had fun writing it ALSO REQUEST R STILL OPEN (still would love to see sum lo'ak and kiri fics CUZ THERES NOT ENOUGH OF THEM, but don't be shy to send a request for neteyam also) ANYWAYS ON W THE FIC

You smiled, looking down on the large faint path that you and Kiri engraved in the dirt when you and her were little. It was done so neither of you would get lost on your way to your hideout. The place where you and her could forget about all your worries and enjoy each other’s company without any disturbances. You’ve followed the trail so many times that getting lost is the least of your worries. You could close your eyes right here and follow the path with no issue. While walking, you came across a tall familiar tree. You smiled upon seeing the old tree, countless memories were made on it. For instance, when you and Kiri were younger, you and her would always climb up the tree and just hang upside down, talking about whatever came into your childish minds. You still do it with Kiri from time to time, but not as much as you two did when you were little. This also was where you uncovered the brewing feelings for Kiri that have been sitting dormant inside you. She was resting her back on the tree, the wind fluttered through her hair.

Her eyes were closed and there was a wispy smile on her face. She looked so at peace, so calm that you just stood there–admiring your best friend. She held so much beauty and grace, you were confused on how you didn’t notice it before. She was just gorgeous and you knew you were falling for her when she grabbed your hand out of the blue one time, her thumb unknowingly caressing your hand. You were internally freaking out over the small action, heart practically beating out of your chest and your stomach was filled with butterflies. You couldn’t even focus on what Kiri was saying to you because your attention was stuck on how you and Kiri’s hands slotted perfectly together. Almost like your hand was made to hold hers. Your crush on her had grown stronger from there on. Now, you couldn’t even look at Kiri without having your heart run a whole marathon. You tried not being too obvious with your feelings but even Lo’ak had noticed your not so subtle crush on her. Giving one last look at the tree, you parted ways and continued following the now faint path. You were drawing close to the flower field where Kiri would rest. Your stomach began to twist into knots from the growing anxiety. You were going to confess to her and tell her how you feel. You could only hope she felt the same way about you. 

Kiri was laying in the middle of the grassy field, the woodspirits floating above her. Some floated down and laid on her limbs, swaying softly with the wind. Kiri looked so peaceful, which was a rare sight to see. She had told you many times before on how she feels like she doesn’t belong, how she feels out of place but whenever she connects to the world around her, when she connects to Ewya she feels like she’s one with herself, one with nature and every living being on Pandora. You never really understood what she meant, but what you did understand is that whenever she let herself loose and feel everything that was around her, from the air everyone breathes to the ground everyone steps in, she connects with it and shuts off. You never minded when she became lost in her own world because it was a free pass to stare at her and take in her beauty. You sat right next to Kiri, burning the smile that was displayed on her face to memory. How could someone look so perfect? You failed to realize her eyes fluttering open.

She shuffled around, blinking a few times before letting out a sigh. Stretching out her tired limbs, she sat up from the floor. The woodspirits that surrounded rose up from her, bidding their goodbyes by kissing Kiri on the face with their tendrils. She felt your lingering gaze on your face, looking over to you she smiled. “When did you get here?” She asked, voice thick with sleep. Your ears fluttered, face warming up. You loved hearing Kiri’s sleepy voice. “Just now, I didn’t want to disturb you so I–” 

“--You stared at me?” She had just woken up not too long ago and she’s already teasing you. “Yeah, I was staring.” You looked down in embarrassment. Kiri quietly giggled, hiding her smile behind her hand. “I wasn’t expecting you to give in so easily.” She said, sharing a few laughs to herself before placing her hand back down. Her fingers lightly brush against yours and your heart skips a beat. You suddenly remember the reason why you came all the way over here. Taking in a deep breath, you looked at Kiri. You didn’t even prepare yourself, you had no idea how you were going to do this. 

“Kiri,” Your heart pounded against your ribcage and your gut was filled with unease. Her ears twitch. Curiosity glinting in her eyes over the sudden shift in your mood. “I have something to tell you.” You say. 

She doesn't respond, but the look in her eyes is urging you on to continue. You closed your eyes and built up the remaining confidence you have left because what could go wrong? You and Kiri have been through everything together, confessing your crush on her won’t ruin what you and her have. If anything, if she doesn’t feel the same way, you and her can forget that his whole ordeal happened and move on. 

You took a deep breath and clenched your hands together. It’s now or never. 

“I like you.” 

Kiri blinked in surprise. 

“You like me?” She repeats, utterly dumbfounded with what you had just confessed to her. 

You nod your head slowly, unsure with where this is going to go. The anxiety in your gut began to rage and the growing silence isn’t helping. Kiri bites down on the inside of her cheek, shamefully looking away. “I’m sorry.” She says, her voice small and weak. “I don’t feel the same way.” 

You feel everything around you freeze. The sounds of the leaves rustling in the background became a loud static and the trees started to blur together. Tears started to form in your eyes. Even if you tried anticipating the rejection, even if you tried softening the blow by thinking of the positives. Being rejected by the person you love hurts. You don’t get the time to say anything more after that because Kiri excuses herself, and with nothing else to do. You watch as her figure becomes more than a mere blob from the tears that clouded your vision. 

ღ

“And you left her there?” Lo’ak said with an over exaggerated gasp, his hand coming to cover his agape mouth. “You’re annoying.” Kiri sighed out, pushing Lo’ak away from her. “How could I not gasp? What you did was so messed up.” Lo’ak shook his head, dropping his hand back down to his lap. “I know! I panicked.” Kiri frowned, dragging her hands down her face. She had been feeling guilty all day for leaving you alone like that. Your crestfallen face would forever be imprinted in her head. Neteyam slid right next to Kiri, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her in a side hug. Usually, Kiri would push Neteyam away, whining about how she wanted to be left alone. But right now, she doesn’t want to be left alone. Her emotions were too much for her right now that if she were to be alone, she would spiral. “Did you run away because you knew you didn’t feel the same? Or because you did feel the same, you were just afraid to admit them?” Neteyam asked. Lo’ak rose a brow at Neteyam.

“Bro, when did you become so smart?” Neteyam rolled his eyes. “I don’t know.” She truthfully said, ignoring the small dispute that happened between her brothers. She had been battling with herself with her own feelings for you. Late nights she laid in her hammock, thinking about you and how she wished you were right next to her. She began to admire your face and everything about you. She started to think about her favorite moments with you and think about how she would just stare at you and imagine how your lips would feel on hers. She would catch herself imagining a future with you and her heart would skip a beat whenever she’d notice what she was thinking about. You consumed her thoughts and that scared her. She didn’t know what to do so she built up this wall to protect herself from her feelings, but you broke down those walls when you confessed to her.

She realized that her efforts to block her love for you was futile. You felt the same way she did, she didn’t have to hide anymore. She had dreamed of this moment endlessly, where you would confess and she would finally open up about her feelings for you. She swooned over the thoughts about you two sharing a kiss, the kiss exchanging the words you and her never got to say. But there she was, sitting right in front of you. Your heart in your hands as you told her what you had been feeling for a long time. And instead reacting the way she planned to, she panicked. She was too overwhelmed by the sudden emotions she felt that she didn’t know what to do, so she fled. 

“I feel so stupid.” Kiri mumbled. Neteyam rubbed his hand up and down Kiri’s arm, a soothing action he did to her when she was younger. “You are not stupid.” Neteyam said. Kiri didn’t say anything else and wallowed in her self pity. “Why don’t you go tell her how you truly feel?” Kiri’s ears perked up. She had forgotten that she could make amends with you. Sprouting up with newfound vigor, she hugged both of her brothers. “I have not thought about that, thank you Neteyam!” And with that, Kiri took off. Her feet padded against the floor, her heart hammering in her chest. She’s going to tell you how she really feels. She went to the place she knew she’d find you. The tree that held most of you and Kiri’s precious memories. Looking up, she saw your leg dangling off one of the thick branches that sprouted from the tree. She took a deep breath and started making her way up. Hanging her hand over the branch, she pulled herself up and plopped herself right in front of you with ease. She flashed you a smile while you stared in confusion. “I want to apologize,” She says, her hands finding yours and intertwining them together. You blushed at the sudden affection.

 “I’m so sorry for leaving you alone with no explanation on why.” 

You shake your head. “It’s okay, I knew—“ 

“Wait! You didn’t let me finish.” She squeezes your hands before letting go. Her hands cupped your face, her eyes quickly shifting from your lips to your eyes. “I have been wanting to tell you this ever since I heard my Dad say it to my Mom.” You knew what she was going to say. You have heard the loving phrase slip out of Jake’s mouth one too many times, but you would have never thought you would be hearing it come out of Kiri’s mouth. 

She pulls your face closer to hers. Your breath hitches in your throat when you feel her nose brush yours. Her lips are practically touching yours and all you can hear is your loud heartbeat ringing in your ears.

 “I love you.” 

if you wanna be in my taglist comment or dm me! <3 + my requests are open!

Taglist: @writingsbybirdie @tzurue @lokisblueskin @slaypussypop-21 @niawritesbs @yoluvrz​

#avatar 2022 #atow x reader #avatar way of water #avatar imagine #avatar x reader #kiri sully #kiri x reader #kiri sully x reader #kiri imagine #kiri x you #kiri x y/n #kiri oneshot

[jackfrombaskinrobbins]

sam wilson x teen!reader headcanons

type of writing: headcanons / scenario

word count: 634

request: yes / no

original request: omg hi!! i absolutely adore your writing 💕 would you be open to doing some headcanons for sam wilson and a teen!reader? have a wonderful day, love <;33

dynamic: sam wilson x teen!reader

characters: sam wilson, reader

a/n: heh inspiration struck so two in one day it is 😈😈 i LOVED writing this request omg. i'm totally obsessed w/ sam wilson so i was sooo happy this was requested!! ty anon :D

taglist: @nutellani @thecloudedmind

(fill out this form to be on my taglist!)

-----------------------✰----------------------

sam gives such older brother vibes to me

like no matter how old u are he’ll always treat you like a little sibling

well he and bucky both

at this point they’re a package deal

a lot of ur time is spent settling their argument

“hey, y/n. who pulls off this hat the best?”

“y/n!!! pancakes or waffles??”

“y/n tell bucky he’s wrong.”

theres a lot of that LMAO

anyways i feel like he would make u do stuff with him

like fun little adventures

y’all learned to crochet together

and u were pretty good ngl

but poor sam kept missing stiches

you made little frogs and his looked not rly like a frog

but u loved it anyway ofc

the two of you usually do grocery runs together

that’s like high time for ur gossip 😏

i mean guys this is sam wilson

he def knows a LOT of stuff

but he’s really engaged with like ur school & home life

he always makes sure ur ok

he is totally the type to text and call regularly

he would go to ur parent teacher conferences if u needed him to

and then he’d tell u all his thoughts about the teacher after 😭 

he’s rly perceptive with emotions

i mean he was a therapist like what do u expect

but whenever he senses ur down he’ll do something really nice

and like cook u something

bc sam can COOK

like COOK

and he’ll try to make you laugh

which always works because he’s actually hilarious

speaking of he’s so funny on missions too

he’s always talking on the earpieces and like he’ll just say the funniest stuff

and he swears like a sailor JUST SAYING 🤪

he’s so the type to swear in front of you all the time but then the moment u swear he’s like “what did you say 🤨🤨”

also he always is asking u fashion advice

“ok y/n. blue shirt red pants? or red shirt blue pants?”

“sam do you really want to look like one fish two fish red fish blue fish”

“yeah i guess you’re right 😞”

he always acts sad and then the moment you feel bad he’s like “GOTCHA 😜”

also whenever he’s away he’ll send you a ton of pictures

a lot of them are selfies of him and bucky and steve 

and they’re so funny

like he’s not trying to be funny but he literally is like a facebook minion meme mom

oh also no offense to him but he’s an AWFUL driver 😭 

like he goes way too fast and his music is so loud

but he lets u choose it so u don’t mind 🤩

it’s always kind of fun going in the car with him

you always text natasha a picture of u with him in the driver’s seat in the background and you say “if i die u know why”

and she just goes “have fun”

lol

you and him go on runs together

and that’s rly fun

well ok ik running is hard

but as a runner its sooo much more fun suffering through it with someone else 🥳

whenever u run u do that like shareplay thing on spotify

and he always judges ur music like 😑

ok mr “i listen to the same album for like five months in a row”

oh he is so the type to take u on like one on one lunches and stuff

i think that’s smth the avengers would do with their younger members to make sure they’re alright

and he always does it with u bc ur best friends ofc ‼️

y’all are so petty to each other

but u do really think the world of him

and he thinks the world of you too 🫶

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#sam wilson x teen!reader #sam wilson #sam wilson headcanons #mcu #marvel #mcu headcanons #marvel headcanons #bucky barnes #steve rogers #natasha romanoff

[cheerfullycatholic]

Hello--I have sent asks to other Catholics and am a little scared that I will confuse details between them because I am upset and afraid right now, but will you please pray for me?

I have been failing miserably at following any of the plans I set out for Lent, and on Ash Wednesday, our priest told us that Lent is a contract with God, meaning that if we don't follow through or aren't really committed then it isn't God who comes to collect and give you blessing, but it is the Devil who swoops into fulfill his job as Satan.

I'm sorry for sending this on anonymous--this plan is posted very publicly on my side blog, but it wouldn't let me ask under that name and I don't want people connecting the two. Anyway, I would talk to my current and local priest about this, but I have previously been involved in a controversy with members of the Diocese because of some things I believed, and I don't want to drag those still active members into more drama, nor do I want to end hurting new people who are only trying to serve my community as best they can.

I'm scared of judgement, drama, and unintended consequences. I only want to do the right thing. I'm scared, upset, feeling very alone and worried that God is not happy with me because I am failing so hard at these things I agreed to. I've been getting positive signs, but I am afraid that I am only reading into it what will comfort me and not taking srsly the consequences or the intentions of my actions. I know my current priest believes very heavily in spiritual warfare and I am afraid he will try to exorcise me or that I will end up being condemned.

{{{{{Lenten Plans from the Universe/The Messiah/The Golden Timeline (02/13/24)

Okay so basically, here is the plan--handed down through divine intuition or signs or whatever gave me the information--I trust the information source--so here's my spiritual cleanse for the 40 days:

3 days of (as close as possible) no sleep--72 straight hours--then 2 days of regular sleep schedule for the next 40 days

40 days of no more than 1200 calories every day

40 days no spend (outside of food and bills)

40 days (at least) of no medication (exception--Excedrin Migraine but only in extreme situations...)

Increased prayer/communing/sign reading

***I want to be clear that this is something that I am doing for my own spiritual cleanse and enlightenment and enrichment and etc; I'm not advertising this as a responsible or safe or anything--this isn't a recommendation--you're welcome to join me in an attempt but consult with your own support system including mental health team.***}}}}}

I am in contact with my mental health team, including my therapist and they are aware of what I am doing, and they are trying to support me, but they aren't Catholic, and they don't know the anxieties that come with the rituals and traditions of the Church. I am very scared, and I hope you are having a beautiful Lent. God bless you; I know if you find my side blog that it has a lot of very controversial statements about the Church and my beliefs--but I'm trying my best to make sense of what is happening, and I do not want to be insulting. I'm scared about that too--that all the Catholic blogs I admire will find that place where I explore spirituality and think I am being flippant or cruel or sacrilegious when I don't mean it that way at all. I am confused, scared, and very, very much trying to do what is right. God bless you and thank you for reading this--I understand if you do not post this, but I would still appreciate prayers--I know you are kind enough to pray for me even if I am a blasphemer. I will keep you in my prayers as well.

Of course I'll pray, but I also need to say something

Lent isn't a contract, it's a time of prayer and fasting in preparation for the Resurrection. God isn't looking down on us with a giant microscope to see who stumbles with their Lenten promises to add to His list of naughty kids, that's not how it works and your priest is wrong. It's human to mess up sometimes, especially with promises as extreme as yours. Thankfully, God is merciful enough to not condemn us for it. Now, I do believe the devil can use moments when we stumble for his own gain, but we can stop him by not feeling discouraged and continuing on as best as we can. Media has made the devil out to be this scary, unmovable force, but he's not. He's a weenie

I really like this quote from an article I once read on Grotto Network

If you have fallen away from your Lenten practice, there’s no scorebook where you’ll be penalized. It might be a good time to re-evaluate what you are committing to and why, and to listen for ways the Lord might be leading you in a new direction. In Lent, we remember Jesus who himself fell three times en route to Calvary. And three times he got back up and continued on. In Lent, as in all seasons, Jesus is our companion and guide. No matter how perfectly we’ve executed our Lenten disciplines so far, it’s never too late to continue to walk with Him toward Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

[fullstcp]

Joshua Bassett Singles Sentence Starters

JUST LOVE

"An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind."

"We can't seem to see the way cause everyone's hurting."'

"Tell me, when will we learn it?"

"And what more can I say?"

"What if we just love?"

"Am I asking too much?"

"Too many have lost their lives."

"Too many tears we've cried."

"We couldn't seem to see the light."

"Now you're all by yourself."

"You're crying for help."

"Your walls know too well."

"You've been living in hell."

"Tell me what to do now."

"Don't you get tired when you run for your life?"

"You don't need to this time."

DIFFERENT

"Darling, how I missed you."

"Two years, not even friends."

"I'm trying to kiss you, cause we've seen how this can end."

"My therapist would kill me if she knew that I was here."

"No one knows me like you know."

"No one holds me how you hold me."

"I'm back in your arms, but everything's changed."

"We've been to hell and back again."

"My biggest regret was walking away."

"I'm not gonna make the same mistake."

"I know you're afraid we'll end up the same. And the truth is, we might."

"But if we do this thing right, maybe this time it'll be different."

"I didn't think we'd end up here."

"I didn't think you'd kiss me."

"I'm too in love to care."

"Kiss me slow before I go, my dear."

"Make me yours and I'm not leaving."

"I know for sure you're all I needed."

"I can't believe I didn't see it."

"We took our time and space we needed."

"Maybe this time it'll be different."

I'M SORRY

"I thought about what I would say, but I'm two years too late."

"I can't imagine how you're doing these days."

"Sure it wasn't perfect back then."

"I'll be the first to admit."

"It was better than being strangers again."

"I'm drunk too late, talking to the moon."

"Ever since that day, the things I didn't say they haunt me."

"I know that I'm to blame, so go ahead and blame it on me."

"I know that I'm too late, but I'll say it anyway."

"I'm sorry."

"It was me, it wasn't you."

"It's cliché, but it's true."

"I wasn't thinking how I usually do?"

"Bet it was hard to watch me put you through hell."

"I hope you know I'm not proud of who I've been."

"I hope you know that I wish you nothing but the best."

SHE SAID HE SAID SHE SAID

"I saw you in the back of the room taking shots with your friends again."

"You talk shit, like you always do."

"I guess high school never ends."

"You sure got a lot to say when you're talking on my name."

"You sure got a lot to say, but did you tell them everything?"

"When you dance with the devil, the devil's gonna dance with you."

"When you play with fire, the flame's gonna burn you too."

"Starting rumors, it's nothing new."

"We're on this shit again."

"I let you go."

"Drunk talks are sober thoughts so don't act so innocent."

"I can't keep playing games when your rules are always changing."

"So, if you're saying, 'sorry', you can save it."

"Burn your bridge, talk your shit."

"I've been growing thicker skin."

"Forgiveness? Ask again."

"Patience only runs so thin."

WOULD YOU LOVE ME NOW?

"I never wrote the letter that I swore I'd send."

"I never got to tell you what I really meant."

"I can't help but thing of all the things I would say."

"If I showed up at your doorstep would you turn me away?"

"Would you care to see a stranger whose eyes are still the same?"

"Take me or leave me."

"I'm going home, but I'd rather be going your way."

"Would you love me now?"

"Take me back to when we were young again."

"After everything, would you let me in and love me now?"

"We made ourselves a promise we would stay in touch."

"If we're being honest, that's on both of us."

"I'm running out of reasons not to do it all again."

"You know I'd fly away with you if you asked me to."

"So what do you say for one more day?"

"Would you love me?"

DOPPELGÄNGER

"I guess I'm not as over you as I thought that I was."

"I saw someone who looked like you at our favorite coffee shop."

"Part of me was hoping that we'd get the chance to talk."

"I guess I'm not as over you as I thought, and I thought I was."

"I've spent a lot of nights memorizing lines, thinking about what I might say."

"After all this time, I'm still fight or flight."

"I can't help but run away."

"I know we're getting older."

"We're moving on and over."

"Everywhere I go, I see your face."

"I couldn't believe my eyes."

"Even when I left, I was still a wreck."

"I'm scared to death to see you."

"I wanted it to be you."

"The truth is no one's like you."

"A heart cannot be lied to."

FEEL SOMETHING

"We'll sneak up to the fire escape and wait for the rain."

"Most days, dear, you drive me insane."

"Why don't we both push past the pain?"

"Meet me in the middle of midnight."

"Barely made it out alive."

"We're selfish, we're melting, we're talking shit just to tell it."

"We're stupid."

"We're doing anything we can just to feel something."

"Hold me like it's the very last time, at least for tonight."

"Pull my hair and kiss my head and we'll get high."

"We felt it."

ANYONE ELSE

"You say you gotta think it over."

"I can't stop thinking of you."

"I'll be here when you need me to."

"There's a million little things I haven't told you."

"It kills me every time he's/she's/they're with you."

"How am I supposed to think about anything else?"

"How am I to go on keeping this to myself?"

"I am done pretending I want anyone else."

"Now the days are getting longer."

"I'm caught daydreaming of you."

"I'm still waiting for my happy ever after."

"When you're ready, I'll be ready too."

"The world melts away when I'm with you."

"I know you're afraid to jump too soon."

"I'd love you better than he/she/they ever could."

"We'd have it good."

"I keep hoping it'll only be a matter of time until the memory's faded and the feeling subsides."

"Time won't help."

"I can't settle for anyone else."

COMMON SENSE

"Kiss the girl/boy goodbye."

"Leave it all behind."

"The girl's/boy's not worth my time."

"Common sense ain't common when you come to mind."

"She/he/they was/were not worthwhile."

"Don't go the extra mile."

"Go back and reconcile."

"Common sense forgot about her/his/their smile."

"Second chances are thought of to be weak."

"Second chances aren't given usually."

"A second chance is all I really need."

"I think I want to love you."

"I want to love you."

"Please let me love you."

#rp memes #rp starters #rp prompts #rp lyric meme #lyric prompts #lyric starters #sentence starters #roleplay prompts #roleplay starters #not the old me. 2.0 me. no it's all of meme combined (ask meme) #when there was me and queue (queue)

[kindheart525]

Her last appointment with Aura was such a clusterfuck that Snowcone almost didn’t want to try therapy ever again. She knew she needed help, but this wasn’t it. If somepony making her feel like shit was supposed to “fix” her, then she wanted no part in it. She’d rather feel like shit on her own terms than go through that again. 

But her mom practically begged her to give it another try, after she opened up to her about Veuve. A mistake. Now she was going in to get treated like a project again. Maybe therapy was working for Twilight Sparkle but that didn’t mean it would work for Snowcone Syrup. She strongly doubted it, but she’d give it a try anyway.

So she lay sprawled out on the couch in the therapist’s office, twiddling her hooves and letting her eyes wander around the room, almost as if she didn’t look at her therapist that she wouldn’t see her.

“Whenever you’re ready.”

The older mare spoke up, almost in a casual, laid-back tone. Snow could already tell she wasn’t like Aura, with that stupid grin on her beak and her talons writing down her every word. Honey Lush’s demeanor was more like Aurora’s, chill and nice enough to give her space.

But Snowcone wasn’t going to let her guard down that easily.

“What if I just don’t talk for the whole hour?”

She sassed back, watching her reaction to see if it would get a rise out of her.

But it didn’t.

“That’s your choice. But I think you’ll come out feeling like you wasted your time.”

Snow rolled her eyes. She was basically wasting her time already. This mare probably thought she already knew her anyway.

“Let me guess, my mom told you all about the stuff I said about my EX friend and you’re gonna try to convince me to make up with her like life is some sort of little foal’s cartoon.”

Honey Lush shook her head.

“No, your mom didn’t tell me anything. But if that’s something you want to unpack, go for it.”

The filly groaned once she realized what she’d just gotten herself into. Shit! She’d totally exposed herself and for once her mom didn’t do a thing! Well, except send her to this dumb appointment in the first place.

“What is there to unpack? My mom is getting in my business like she always does! Making me go to therapy like I need to be fixed!”

Her therapist cocked an eyebrow.

“So you don’t think you need any help at all?”

“No, I—“

Snow stammered, taken aback by her therapist’s blunt questioning.

“I do need help! I know that! I’m just not gonna get it from some shrink! I tried before, I really did!”

“Alright then. That’s fair.”

The therapist shrugged. Gaia, she was so casual it was somehow both relieving and aggravating.

“Some methods just aren’t right for you. It’s a lot of trial and error. Do you think your mom sending you to different therapists is her way of trying to help you get the help you want?”

“I mean yeah…”

Snow admitted.

“Mom DOES love me. She IS respecting my space more by knocking on my door and not getting up my ass about grades and all that. And she is going to therapy so maybe she thinks it’ll work for me too. But just because it’s good for her doesn’t mean it’s good for me! I told her all about Veuve awhile back and she really thought a fucking friendship lesson was gonna help me!”

“Veuve is the ex friend you mentioned earlier?”

The filly grumbled.

“Yeah…ugh, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“Well considering you did, it seems to be really bothering you. Want to run me through it?”

Everything in Snow was internally screaming to just walk out but she stayed seated anyway, feeling like she wanted to cry as she started thinking of everything that happened.

“She USED to be my best friend. I was her ride-or-die, when ponies gave her shit I gave them shit right back. But she didn’t like that, she said she didn’t want me to help her like she was too good for that. She thinks she’s too good for everypony, that prissy little bitch. She even embarrassed me at the fucking Gala and had the audacity to ask if I was okay afterwards! Like hello!”

Tears started to well up in her eyes.

“No I’m not! Because of her!”

She gritted her teeth in rage, not wanting to let her therapist see her break down.

“Of course, this is very upsetting. Do you think she wanted to embarrass you?”

“I don’t think she cares at all! It’s all about her!”

Snow cried out indignantly.

“I see.”

Honey Lush nodded.

“Let’s go back to your mom for a bit. She has a history of pushing boundaries?”

“Yes! Mom AND Mother!”

“So if I’m getting this right, they’re trying to help you but it’s not the help you want.”

“Yeah! I want them to stop trying to fix shit for me!”

“Have you considered that maybe Veuve feels that way about you?”

Snowcone was absolutely rocked by this observation. How dare this smug old lady tell her how she felt?

“No way, it’s totally different!”

“Okay, how so?”

The filly stopped, struggling to find the words to describe how she felt.

As she did so, Honey Lush continued on, leaning over her chair like she had Snow all figured out. 

“You love your mom and mother but you still need to set boundaries with them. That doesn’t mean you love them any less, right? Veuve seems to still care considering she reached out to you, she just wants a different kind of support from you sometimes. Maybe. I could be wrong.”

She sat back nonchalantly.

“Maybe your boundaries and her boundaries aren’t compatible, maybe it’s not meant to be. Or maybe you can work it out like you and your mom are trying to do, coexisting with each of your needs and wants. It could end well or it could get worse. But you never know until you talk to her. Is it worth it to throw away your ride-or-die without at least seeing what would happen?”

Snowcone was so pissed yet she had so much to think about. This damn therapist, getting in her head like this! Making her do all the work! If only there was a spell that could fix all her problems, she’d take that over this.

But maybe Honey Lush was right, at least a little bit. She really couldn’t know unless she tried. It might not go well but then she could at least tell that mare she told her so. And on the off chance it did go well…it would save her a lot more stress and heartbreak. She had to put in the work if she wanted anything to get better.

She hesitated for a bit, but finally admitted it to herself.

“No…it wouldn’t be worth it.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Previous: Steep Valley Next: Then Just Give

#KindsArt #auraverse #live wire #snowcone syrup #honey lush #story piece #next generation #my little pony #mlp fim #mlp g4

[colettevbellerose07]

🎀Is S an Odd Number🎀

🎀Warnings: self-hate, suicidal thoughts, mental health issues

🎀Clark Kent x Mentally ill! Reader

🎀Prompts:“I’m not suicidal, I just want to see if anyone would actually care if I was gone.”

🎀A/N: The way he blinks sends me. I’m literally so freaking 🥰 in love. This is not my best work but I love him so much.

I know I’m not the best partner ever, but to be fair I did warn Clark. I tried to explain to him my bad habits, but he said he would help me get better with that stupid heroic smile of his. I’m not ready to heal, I don’t deserve it. I don’t know why but he keeps trying, it’s like he has “I Can Fix Her Syndrome”. Anyways we’ve been dating for a couple of weeks now. I still don’t know how to act when if he gives me physical affection. I’m not uncomfortable with it I love it. I just can’t believe he actually does it and to my knowledge enjoys it. I genuinely don’t know what he sees in me. No guy has ever treated me like this before it’s so strange, having someone just as devoted to you as you are to them. I truly do love him with every ounce of my soul, but you know what they say, “You can’t love someone unless you love yourself too.” My stupid therapist said that which Clark introduced me to and inevitably encourage forced me to visit him weekly.

“Good Morning, Y/N,” Clark says. “Good morning, Clark.” I looked up at him. Gosh, he’s so beautiful, I have no idea how I bagged such a hottie. But I think this is a universal feeling when you’re boyfriend looks like a buff nerd. “Since we both have an off day I was wondering if you’d like to go to that diner downtown. I heard it’s super good.” Clark knows I won’t eat if I’m not around people. I feel this pressure to eat when in a restaurant. Like if I don’t eat everything on my plate everyone in the room will hate me and think I’m a spoiled brat. Of course, I haven’t confessed this to Clark I think he’s just happy I’m eating. Unlike before our relationship, I either ate too much and went days without eating or I went days without eating and binged my brains out the second I saw food unattended. “Hello, earth to y/n.” Clark waved a hand across my face. “Yes, I would love that.” I beamed, what have I gotten myself into?

Time skip ⏭

The drive was quiet but not the bad kind. While on the drive I tried talking to my therapist, I don’t know why I was bored. “Okay Miss L/N I’ll have your pill doubled since you aren’t feeling any changes. May I ask why you say your suicidal thoughts haven’t gotten better?” He asked, even though the phone I could tell he was genuinely curious. This man has made it his mission to crack down on what is wrong with me. “For the third and last time, sir. I’m not suicidal, I just want to see if anyone would actually care if I was gone.” I denied but who knows maybe I would die if given the chance.

The car abruptly stopped, we must be here. “What!” Clark yelled with pure anger and sadness. “What’s wrong?” I quietly asked. “I would care if you were gone!” There’s no way he could have heard me, I didn’t say that out loud. Unless maybe I did? “Y/N is that why you never told me about any of your conversations with the therapist?” Clark cried, his face looking distraught. I wasn’t expecting this kind of reaction. My previous boyfriends wouldn’t do this, if anything they would laugh and say I should just do it. I don’t know how to handle this, “I’m sorry.” I whispered, tears trailing down my face. Clark grabbed me, pulling me into him sobbing into my neck.

I wrap my arms around his back gently caressing him. “Talk to me,” Clark demanded. I feel like I have no control over myself everything I want to say is pushed away when “No.” “Why won’t you just let me in!” Clark yelled “Because I’m afraid, there I said it! I’m afraid!” “Afraid of what?” Clark whimpered his nose slightly scrunched. “I’m afraid of loving you, Clark! I’m afraid that when you find someone better you’ll leave me all alone! I’m so used to everyone I love leaving me, I don’t know why you even like me! I’m a mess of a human.”

Clark sighed deeply as I sobbed. “You aren’t a mess of a human-” “Then what’s sooo interesting about me?” I interrupted, I had hit a new ATL and now nothing means anything even my tone. “I like when you dress up because it makes you all flustered when I compliment you, I like how intelligent you are. Not in a way most people are it’s like your brain is a storage unit for little bits of knowledge. I love your cheesy punny jokes about Superman that you always find an opportunity to tell. I love every aspect that makes you so unique. Your little squeaks of joy when I come home. You, y/n, I love you.” Clark gazed at me. He genuinely loves and cares about me. “I haven’t been a very good girlfriend Clark, I’m sorry. Can we start over?” I looked at him. “I would love to start over. How about we start with a first date.” He said looking at the diner. “Okay, but the last one there pays the bill!” I said rushing out of the car. “Oh no, you don’t y/n!” Clark said hurrying after me.

#coquette writer #clark kent x reader #clark kent #Clark Kent/reader #superman x reader #superman #Clark Kent x depresso reader

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

A question I've been dying to ask ever since I encountered this fact in the Eleutherophobia verse: how did Marco start going to therapy? I love him dearly but in #54 he is light years away from being a therapy-goer, yet in the Eleutherophobia version of events he achieves the near-impossible by seeming to benefit a lot from it. And you mentioned in Total Recall that he started going before the visser one trial. Which is very inspiring, but it left me wondering! Would love to know if you have any author's notes on that, so to speak.

(P.S: tumblr gave me an error message the first time I tried to send this; my apologies if it sends twice)

Y'know, I hadn't thought about this much before. But I think in Eleutherophobia-verse, it got kicked off by the events of "Akira."

In canon, Marco and Cassie do have that conversation at the trial where they say Jake could benefit from therapy but they're not sure how to get him to go... and then they kidnap him and throw him out of a helicopter. Which is the most them solution ever, but also not terribly useful. But I could see that conversation leading to Marco finding a therapist for himself.

In my fic 'verse, I think Marco would do some thinking after he shouts in Jake's face about Jake needing to get his shit together. Marco might even call Cassie after, like "Hey, I know you guys don't talk much, but have you noticed Jake's... kind of a mess right now? And his brother's an asshole and I think I liked Visser Seventeen better but ANYWAY we were talking about how what's best for Jake is maybe Jake actually trying to do something about the way Jake's been feeling because seems like Jake sometimes has bad thoughts about war stuff and Jake probably has nightmares and Jake's maybe too paranoid about Jake's mom dying or being a controller, and maybe Jake seems like Jake should look into this."

At which point Cassie "FFS I've been telling you go to therapy since book 35" Day would already have a rolling list of resources that she's frantically scribbling additional annotations on even as she waits for the word-vomit to end. She'd probably hand-deliver (talon-deliver?) it to Marco's front door a few hours later, along with a request for him to call and tell her how it goes. With Jake. For Jake's sake. Because we can all agree Jake's the one in need. And then she'd raid his fridge and hug him goodbye and run for it before he can protest.

#animorphs #eleutherophobia #cassie animorphs #marco animorphs #animorphs fic #eleutherophobia headcanons

[dollythesheepp]

Veronica- Chapter 10

Ao3 

Dear Westerburg... You may find what I've done shocking ...

Instead of more details about Veronica's fight with her friend Heather, or lovestruck ramblings about JD, all Betty found when she turned the page were scratched out words, written in a different handwriting than the one she had become accustomed; the phrase occupied one line, and there was nothing else written on it. Betty furrowed her brows and turned the page.

Dear world... No one thinks a pretty girl has feelings.

Same thing. The sentences looked like drafts, as if Veronica was writing a letter and she just couldn't find the right words. What did she do that was so shocking?

Expecting another entry like that, Betty turned the page again, this time staring at Veronica's usual welcome in her messy, barely readable handwriting.

September 24th, 1989. Dear diary...

FUCK!

The single word was written in big, block letters, and it took over three whole lines on the page. Betty chuckled, finding that specific entry funny and very teenage like. She stopped chuckling when she got to the next paragraphs.

Dear diary...

I might as well stop sending my applications to ivy league colleges now, as I'm sure the only place I'll be attending next year will be San Quentin.

I can't believe I actually did that. I just killed my best friend (and my worst enemy, but there's a fine line between those two, as I've come to learn.)

It's been three hours, and I still haven't come to terms with it. Because how exactly do you process something like that? I'm sitting in my room, jumping at every noise my parents make downstairs , just waiting for the moment the police will come knocking on my door.

I can't talk to anyone, not Mom and Dad, not the Heathers (the ones that are still standing, anyway), and not even my freaking therapist. You're the only one I trust now.

What the fuck have I done?

Betty only realized her mouth was open when she started to feel her tongue dry; she closed it and blinked rapidly, snapping out of her shock. She adjusted her glasses on her face, and read everything again, to make sure her myopia hadn't somehow distorted Veronica's words and made them seem like something entirely different than what was in fact written.

That had to be a joke, right? Some sort of dare. Or perhaps Veronica was speaking in metaphors and hadn't actually meant killing her friend in the literal way.

Betty turned the page.

September 25th, 1989 Dear diary...

Heather Chandler's death has wreaked havoc throughout Westurburg. The student body is in shambles now that they've lost their queen.

Heather McNamara can't stop crying (in the moments when she isn't sucking face with Kurt Kelly or complaining about how unfair it is that we only got half a day off from school. Everyone grieves in their own way, I suppose..), Heather Duke has suddenly lost her urge to purge now that Chandler isn't here to comment on every calorie she ingests, Peter Dawson is bragging to everyone about how he was one of the last people to go on a date with the recently deceased Heather and Miss Fleming is in some weird sort of power trip, as if Heather's death awakened in her a need to change the world by forcing teenagers to talk about their feelings.

And me...well, I know that I rambled on about wanting to kill Heather, but I did not plan this. It's one thing to wish someone was dead and it's another thing to serve them a wake-up cup full of liquid drainer.

Having said that...If I had the chance to go back in time and undo what I did, I'm not sure I would have changed anything .

Betty blinked, her shock preventing her from expressing any other reaction. She closed the diary as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat and went to bed, finding herself unable to keep reading more.

That night, she didn't sleep.

***

Once the first rays of sunshine started to light up the guest room, Betty gave up on trying to sleep, after restless hours of tossing and turning all night. She stayed in bed, clutching her comforter and staring at the ceiling with a hundred thoughts running amok inside her head, and got up a few minutes after Martha arrived at 8:30; JD woke up shortly after, walking down the stairs already dressed for work.

As usual, Betty found herself in the routine she had established during her stay. She had breakfast, alone this time because JD was late for work and left with an empty stomach and a thermos full of coffee, then she went to the office to work. Seating in front of the computer, Betty couldn't keep her eyes off of the window, where she could see Veronica in the backyard with Martha. They were enjoying the sun as they usually did at that time because Betty wasn't the only one with a routine there.

As a matter of fact, most days in the Sawyer-Dean residence felt exactly the same, like they were all characters in a movie that was being played over and over again. JD would leave for work, Martha would take Veronica outside for a couple of hours and would read her a book or talk to her, then she was fed, cleaned, and Martha would put her back in bed and turn on the TV for her until it was time for her to go to sleep. Sometimes JD would take Veronica downstairs, once he got home, and he'd tell her about her day, other times he would go to her room and stay there with her for hours.

Betty couldn't help thinking about how she would feel in Veronica's position. How draining it must feel to be stuck in that repetitive pattern for the rest of her life. With that thought in her head, she got up and closed the curtains; she didn't want to think about Veronica.

She tried to focus on her job, but the words written in Veronica's diary kept coming back to her every time she closed her eyes. Veronica had killed someone. And according to what she wrote, she didn't feel sorry. Shocked maybe, and scared of getting caught and ruining her life, but she showed no signs of selfless remorse for ending the life of a seventeen year old girl who she had once called a friend.

Did JD know about that? Betty couldn't help but think that God certainly did, and that was why Veronica's life had turned out the way it did. Commeupance comes one way or another.

***

Eventually, Betty managed to forget about the diary for a few hours, her desire to finish her job serving as motivation for her to work faster. With the curtains closed, she didn't feel the hours go by, nor the sun go down until JD knocked on her door.

"Hey," he poked his head inside the office. "Just wanted to see how you were doing."

"I'm good, thanks," she smiled. She glanced at the swatch on her wrist. It was 6:15 p.m. "You're home early today."

JD fully entered the room, leaving the door slightly ajar after he passed. He gave a shrug. "Yeah, I managed to finish some things earlier," he said. "Do you like pasta? I know it's early but I'm starving."

"Same," Betty said. She managed to get through the day with three cups of coffee and one cereal bar, completely forgetting about lunch. "And pasta sounds great."

She followed JD to the kitchen, and she settled down on one of the chairs to watch JD cook. As always, he refused to let her help but after some insistence, he conceded and let her make the salad while he took care of the rest.

"Do you know what I realized?" JD spoke up after the two of them had finished eating. They were seated in the living room, a soccer game playing on the TV, while they rested from eating what felt like enough spaghetti to feed all of Italy.

"What?" Betty asked from her spot on the armchair. She had opted to not seat on the couch with JD; she didn't know how she would feel knowing that he was that close to her and she didn't want to find out. The daydreams and the indecent thoughts were enough.  IItwasnt even because of Martha, she had left earlier that day, but even so, Betty thought it was best to put some boundaries out of respect for JD.

"I talk so much about myself but I barely know anything about you," JD said. It was true, JD did talk a lot about himself but only because Betty asked a lot of questions, she didn't like being the center of attention and she enjoyed getting to know him, so it was always a win-win.

"There's isn't much to know," she said. "I don't have any interesting stories or anything like that."

"Just tell me anything. Where did you grow up?"

"Cleveland," she said. "And you just did the typical 'Oh, I'm so sorry for you'  expression I normally get when I say that."

JD laughed. "There are worse places if that makes you feel better."

Betty knew that Veronica had also been born in Ohio, in a small town called Sherwood but she was glad JD mention that; she didn't want to think about Veronica.

"Maybe a little."

"Good," he chuckled. "Did you always know you wanted to be a writer?"

"No, at first I wanted to be a doctor but I think that was just because every mom wants that for their kid, including mine," she said. "But I'm very squeamish when it comes to blood and all of that, so I changed my mind when I was like 10."

"And how old are you now?"

"Hm," Betty pursed her lips. She looked down at her watch again, the numbers indicating it was 11:45 p.m. She chuckled.  "You're not going to believe this..."

"What?" he asked curiously.

"I'm turning 30 in 15 minutes."

JD's eyes widened in surprise. "What?" he said again. "Really?"

"Yep."

"What a crappy way to spend your birthday, with people you don't know and having to work all day," he said, giving her a sympathetic look.

"I've had worst birthdays," she shrugged.

"Stay right here," JD got up from the couch.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to bake you a birthday cake," he said, already raiding the cabinets to get the ingredients.

"You don't have to do that, it's so late..."

"No, I insist. What kind of birthday doesn't have a cake?" he argued. "Just watch some tv, I'll be done before you know it."

"No way, I have to see that," Betty got up to follow him into the kitchen, unable to contain her smile. That was by far one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for her.

50 minutes later JD placed a chocolate cake in front of her. He cut one slice for her and one for himself. The entire kitchen had been invaded by that delicious smell of freshly baked cake.

"This is really good," Betty said, after swallowing another big piece.

"I'll tell you the secret one day," he gave her a playful wink. "There's hm...there's some frosting on your face."

Automatically she placed her fingers on her face. "Here?" she asked.

"No, right here..." he leaned in closer, and gently put his thumb on the corner of her lips. He kept his finger pressed on her mouth for a second too long like he didn't want to let go. He was close, close enough that she could feel his breath on hers and smell his perfume.

Part of Betty was yelling for her to step aside, and get as far away from JD as possible before any of them could get hurt. Betty didn't listen. Instead, she ended the distance between them with a kiss.

He tasted like chocolate. At first, she thought JD would stop her, or pull away but he didn't. Betty was the one to initiate the kiss but JD was the one who took full control. And she allowed him because it felt so good.

It started slowly, but quickly things became intense, desperate. They both wanted it. She felt his hands running wild through her hips, her legs, her hair. Their lips were still touching, his tongue inside her mouth, her heart palpitating inside chest.

His kisses were exactly how Betty had imagined: explosive, ferocious, dangerous. And wrong. So wrong. But at that moment, neither of them seemed to care. It didn't matter that the hand fumbling with her shirt, desperate to yank it off, was the same hand that he wore his wedding ring, or that his wife was on the floor above. None of it mattered because it felt so right. And it felt so good.

She was thankful that Martha wasn't there anymore, otherwise, she would have heard them as they fiercely tried to quench their needs with each other.

Enthralled by it all, Betty didn't plan on stopping with just a kiss. She wanted more. And she probably would have gotten that, if it wasn't for the sound of something shattering on the second floor.

The noise startled the two of them, who broke apart instantly. JD looked at her, panting and his face red, with lipgloss smeared all over his face, and furrowed his brows, confused. A second later he was racing up the stairs in worry, Betty behind him.

He opened the door to Veronica's room and rushed inside, turning on the lights. He was still panting, but something inside Betty made her beloved that it was out of worry for Veronica's wellbeing, and not out of euphoria from the moment they had in the kitchen. And for a second she felt jealous of JD's invalid wife.

Veronica, as expected, was in bed. Her eyes were closed, it looked like she had been none the wiser about the whole commotion. How was it possible that the noise or JD storming inside her room didn't wake her up? Betty supposed she could be groggy from all of the medications she had to take, but still, she thought it was weird.

"Shit," JD's voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and she stopped staring at Veronica to look at him. On the floor, next to the window was a shattered vase, dozens of pieces, small and big, scattered all over the carpet.

"Did it fall on its own? How?" Betty wondered aloud, more to herself than to him.

"The window is open, it must have been the wind," he said. "Martha probably forgot to close it."

He tiptoed on the floor, trying to avoid stepping on the pieces of broken porcelain, and closed the window, making sure that it was locked this time.

Betty glanced at the sleeping figure on the bed. Veronica looked so peaceful, so fragile. She never would have guessed that Veronica had killed someone.

Betty swallowed the lump in her throat. "You're right, it must have been the wind..."

#heathers #heathers the musical #betty finn #veronica sawyer #jason dean #heather mcnamara #heather duke #heather chandler #jdonica

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for ditching my friends because they tried to surprise me for my birthday?

So I (F19) have really, really bad anxiety I'm trying to overcome. I've been on a couple different medications (still trying to find the right one) and working with a therapist, but it's still really bad. Like, one time I couldn't leave the house to go grocery shopping for over a week, because the thought of being in public sent me into panic attacks. So a friend tried to help me by ordering me a pizza and said I just needed to sign his name for it when it got there, and that sent me into another panic attack because 1) Now I needed to wait for this pizza, 2) I needed to open the door and talk to a stranger, 3) I needed to sign a guy's name when I'm obviously a girl so they're gonna KNOW I'm not the one who ordered the pizza and what if they take me to jail?? Yeah, it's totally irrational I know. And I hate it. I'm TRYING to work through it, but it's hard.

A few days ago it was my birthday and 3 of my best friends (all 19) took me out to eat at a restaurant. Before we went they joked in our group texts about getting them to bring me a cake and sing happy birthday, and I told them if they do that it will undoubtedly send me into a panic attack and I will never forgive them. Full stop, do not do that to me. And they agreed. But halfway through our dinner I hear the clapping and singing, and here come a bunch of waiters carrying a cake and singing Happy Birthday. I'm freaking out but think surely this is just a fluke, they're going to another table and not to ours. My friends wouldn't do that to me. But no, they come straight up to our table and put the cake down. I get up and run out of the restaurant before they're even done singing.

I end up going back to my car and sitting there shaking and crying for I don't know how long. Eventually someone knocks on my window and it's one of my friends asking me to come back inside so they can talk to me, I say I don't want to see them right now and drive away. Instead of going home I go to my mom's house and tell her what happened and she tells me to stay as long as I need, so I turn off my phone and hide in my childhood bedroom and try to get some sleep.

I woke up the next morning to a bunch of missed calls and texts from my friends. Apparently they didn't think I'd freak out that bad (even though I told them I would) and said technically the cake wasn't for me. They lied to our waiter while I was in the bathroom and said it was one of their birthdays, not mine. So that way they could "cheat the system" and still get me a free cake and someone else would get the singing, not me. I said it doesn't matter if the singing was for me or not, I had told them if that exact situation happened it would freak me out and they did it anyway, and they did it behind my back without telling me. Like, of course I would assume the singing was for me? It was my birthday and not any of theirs and they didn't tell me about their scheme? They said I just overreacted, and it's normal for friends to surprise friends on their birthday. Did I overreact?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[andthebeanstalk]

"Oh, Jack. You silly boi. You know that help at the top of the stairs is no help at all."

---

Art piece i may delete later about my parents offering money to me and my sisters to pay for either grad school (a thing I don't want and can't do with my disability) or my wedding (also a thing I don't need/want), but not for anything that would actually help me escape poverty and find stable housing and income.

Like, I recognize the privilege of being able to complain that my parents have offered me a bunch of money but in the wrong way.

But also if that money is on top of a flight of stairs that I can't climb (but my sisters can), then I haven't really been offered money, so much as I have watched money I need be placed somewhere I can't reach it. Which tbh feels worse than if it was never mentioned to me in the first place.

I was gonna send this art to them and i wrote this big long message to go with it, but then I decided to wait until my therapy session on Tuesday to talk it thru with her first, since I've literally never regretted doing that.

Besides, both of my parents are lawyers and right now they're providing me and my friends with a lot of free legal advice about this property we're trying to buy together, so I don't want to rock the boat currently.

I just wish I knew if I had access to that money as a poor person in need of stable housing and quality disability care, and I wish my parents weren't world-class hLepers who have a long and triggering history of engaging me in rigorous debate about the kind of help I should be allowed to receive from them as a disabled person.

Nothing like having to provide an argument that would hold up in court every time I'm sick and need help! Love that! Love that I can't even talk about money with them now without having invasive thoughts about it for days to come due to past incidences in which this repeated behavior of theirs literally endangered my life!!

Not like I need that mental capacity for working on the largest and most exciting opportunity of my life that also happens to line up with my hopes and dreams for the future!! It's fine!! What do I even need mental capacity for anyway?????

This wouldn't even be the first time this little Distrust Fund has caused problems for my relationship with my parents. They are very opposed to that money being used to help my disability and it has caused PROBLEMS for us that we have never quite recovered from.

It's just difficult to be reminded that although our relationship has gotten better (mostly thanks to me setting boundaries), that doesn't mean they now actually believe what I need for my disability when I tell them.

They really do love me, and they have only ever acted with the best of intentions . But good intentions cease to matter when the impact is harmful and repeated. And they have proven to be repeatedly incapable of providing non-ableist support for me again and again and again. They've even genuinely tried to learn; and sometimes it really seems like my mom has made progress with her therapist (who is disabled), but who knows when I can so jarringly be reminded of how quickly that toxic ableist thinking can show its ugly face.

It's so clear to me and they don't even know it's there.

It feels like I'm in a horror movie when I try to get them to understand their own ableism, and that is a good good sign that I may want to consider an approach that minimizes my mental damage instead. Even if it means I don't get their stupid, deeply-conditional-and-yet-the-conditions-are-SO-vague-and-they-won't-admit-it money.

#original #diary #ableism #ableism cw #if they actually trusted me they'd just give me the fucking money but WHATEVER #maybe it's cause of all those times i was really reckless and irresponsible with money-- OH WAIT. THAT HAS LITERALLY NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED #I GRADUATED BUSINESS SCHOOL WITH HONORS AND HAVE NEVER HAD ISSUES WITH OVER-SPENDING #maybe they subconsciously think I'm stupid w money bc I'm poor. but i doubt my sisters could just get the whole lump sum either. #I HAVE BEEN LIVING FRUGALLY MY ENTIRE ADULT LIFE YOU BASTARDS #I would say there's a 5% chance they pleasantly surprise me but I have to be careful not to spend too much energy on it #the invasive thoughts around my family's ableism are super aggressive and constant when they start #and so i would rather have no help than that stinky-ass hLep that hurts my brain and heart so bad for days after #hLep #anyway i don't want their help paying for a wedding bc i am housing insecure with no income and so is my wife #and besides that wedding planning is hard and stressful and involves either including or snubbing relatives i don't like #so like if you offer me thousands of dollars i would be like Great! More savings means more safety and security! #i would NOT be like Okay time to spend $2000 on fucking flowers I have SHIT GOING ON #if i have a wedding then the cost will be the cost of pizza for all the guests. #also govt says i can't get married or i lose my disability payments so ryan and I just decided we are married years ago #i need SO much disability care equipment that i don't have and i am unable to hold a standard full time job #but yeah sure maybe I'll go get another DEGREE despite my interests being completely non academic. fuck OFF. #i have been writing or making art about this all evening this is not how I wanted to spend the evening it is past 4am #hopefully this processing and drawing and journaling will allow me to remove this issue from the very forefront of my mind #it's a careful line to walk between processing and obsessing. but good processing helps you stop obsessing #hopefully I can save some of the more painful parts of this for therapy so I can focus on other stuff for the next couple days #listen if interacting with someone in a certain way makes you feel like you're in a horror movie then something needs to change #and sometimes the change is that we need to make literal and emotional distance between us and those people bc they aren't learning #okay okay time for edibles and a shower i fuckin earned it and even if i didn't I can do whatever I fucking want 👌 #and also I deserve nice things by default #and so do you

[bear-momma]

hi do u have any tips on making friends? ive been trying so hard but i cant make any. idk if its cause im off putting or ugly or both but im rlly isolated and i feel like i wont ever progress

im not the best at keeping conversations or making them and i have terrible anxiety but i do try

im in the process of getting diagnosed for autism but im already diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder and ik that affects stuff so maybe thats why? or im just unlikeable in general

im only 16 and i dont go to public school anymore cause of the things that happened but i barely had friends there either

ive tried irl and online so i think im just gonna give up now and wait

i just hate never talking to anyone or having nobody to talk to or confide in

im always alone in my room bored waiting on something to happen. i barely talk now (not like i ever did in the first place) but i talk even less like im mute

i lack a lot of things like social skills and cues ive always been called dumb or slow and when i was in a not so good relationship thing w someone he would degrade me and tell me i wouldnt ever make it without him and im afraid thats true

i just dk what to do

anyway im srry if i broke a boundary or if im not allowed on ur page cause of my age and for the vent and talking a lot

let me know and i’ll get off

You will never have to apologize for venting, and my page is open to everyone who isn't on my DNI, so you're okay 💛

I can imagine you feel very isolated, and my heart goes out to you. You are in no way unlikable, nor are you unlovable. Being different does not make you bad. Making connections can be especially difficult when we've had bad experiences in the past. Sometimes we just have to find our people, which is much easier said than done.

Do you have access to a therapist? Or a counselor? I would love to give you advice, but I worry an internet blog won't be able to accurately help you over a long period of time :(

Either way, I'm sending you so much strength. Things will get better, and I know that seems impossible right now, but you have my promise 💛

#bear answers #long post

[saisons-en-enfer]

your traumas and experiences are valid. while living and existing might feel like a unbearably sisyphean task, it is through finding healthy outlets/coping mechanisms that you can pacify such intense memories and ruminations. on behalf of the mutuals know that you are not alone, we care and about you, and love you🍵🫶🏼 wishing you the best on your journey king <3

I appreciate you taking the time and sending this and I just wanted to answer this in a way that is honest to maybe help you understand where I stand, so I do not mean to demean or devalue anything you're saying

Firstly I don't really have healthy outlets/coping mechanism... I've learned the hard way not to ask friends, I don't matter that much for them to keep dealing with my constant distress. I just talk to a therapist but ye, once a week isn't enough and just today when I was speaking to him I made a confession that in the last 6 years, I had numerous times (way too many for my mind to comfortably recall) where I was in such an emotionally suffocating situation that I seriously had thoughts of ending my life. Recently, I seek out help more when it happens but I just feel like people are so desensitized to it and think that I'm acting up for attention, when I can't ever convey to anyone how difficult it is to live life for others, to live life on a thread, on a constant tightrope, because I'm struggling to just stick around for myself.

My primary struggle is that I desperately struggle to find purpose, value, and meaning in my existence, and these are somethings I need because I can't just... be. Because I've mentally touched the void; I've reached such a low point that I don't see or feel beauty and intrigue in the world anymore, I don't feel as vivaciously as before, all I feel is deep sorrow, because I know the world lost it's glow to me and It's not just because the world is going to hell right now, it's because I feel things deeply and having the realization that I have to continue living even when I don't desire it and have to watch everyone I love and care for grow old and fade away and be able to not do anything about it. It's torture...

The problem with purpose is I have to genuinely believe in it or else it'll just crumble into a breakdown and I haven't been successful at finding purpose, at feeling genuine value in my existence.

I made the grave mistake recently of attaching meaning to someone I was in love with in a way that was all too deluded and idyllic and now that that's rightfully fallen through I'm just hurting again. You could say maybe what would give me purpose and value would be love, but I don't know anymore, everyone I've ever loved in my life didn't even feel marginally similar to how I did... besides I'm not someone that catches eyes anyway; I'm not someone people look at twice.

And now I struggle just to exist and continue doing so only because I never want to hurt anyone but I cant begin to explain how difficult it is and how gut-wrenching the sorrow and dread of existence is. I keep having really fucking nightmarish days where I just keep thinking that I can't do it anymore...

I keep continuing but I don't have any hope and I don't believe there is anything good waiting for me in the future... when can I just acknowledge this as a terminal illness and just be allowed to let go... why do people perceive it as preventable when my mind has been so badly damaged it will never be the same again; I find it so impossible to feel or believe anything good or modest about myself:

All I know is misery.

P.S. after years of different therapists, medications, therapeutic approaches, change of life conditions etc. no one has been able to help me ward off the unshakeable thought and "truth": that I will take my life... it may not be today or anytime soon, but I just know it will happen with how intense and unbearable some days get, and those days happen all too frequently and the more they happen the more I just lose my mind and just want to take the leap.

#asks #i keep having too many really bad days #but my good days are better than before so that's progress to therapists etc #but still the day will come i just know it #i hope its not soon #i hope its at a time when everyone's forgotten about me