#anyways shut up about *redacted*

[jfkisonthemoon]

i finished vlr

#TENMYOUJI AND QUARK TENMYOUJI AND QUARK CAN ANYBODY FUCKING HEAR ME IS THIS THING ON!!!!!!!!!!!!! #in general i loved quark and i LOVED the writing direction they went with tenmyouji #i mean. dont get me wrong i hated it at first. and then i fell asleep and ive decided i like it #tenmyouji got him a fucking root beer float......... #i didnt like how they switched from the games being about the group and their interactions into just being 'because we have to!' #the group dynamic was one of the best parts of 999 #and dont get me wrong i liked (most) of the characters in this one but they werent as iconic #dio and sigma though. man shut the fuck up. this isnt about you. #dont even get me started on how they butchered my girls. clover is NOT that stupid and [redacted] would not fucking do that #feeling like i need to replay the true end of 999 now. #anyway. quark has taken to saying 'root beer floats my boat' which warms tenmyoujis heart. if you even fucking care. #i might post about this more we'll see how insane i feel #zero escape #jessie speaks

[pepprs]

feeling despair i don’t know how to put into words. im trying to figure out why im like this and how i got to be this way but i can’t even do it bc of the way i am and what im like. if that makes sense. like the problem prevents me from fixing the problem bc i can’t get to the root of it. despair despair despair

#purrs #delete later #basically i can’t internalize anything about myself. i can’t internalize that i am talented smart strong whatever and i can’t internalize #evidence that i matter and belong and am loved. i take in this evidence constsntly and it just evaporates. and then it’s like i have none of #it at all and im starving and shaking and dying and howling like a wretched little animal. and i live in this constant defaulstate of like.. #feeling worthless and alone and utterly empty and like everything in my life is a dream or something. and in feeling that way and being #quite literally incapable of having emotional object permanence.. i actually make that situation real for myself. i make myself alone and #wretched. i isolate myself and shut down and don’t let myself take up the space i can. and it’s just awful. it’s unfixabke. #i just suck it all dry. i deny myself to myself and to everyone else. and idk what made me like this bc i don’t think i always used to be #this way w depression and depersonalization or whatever the fuck dsm 6 type shit i have going on. but i can’t internalize anything about #myself and my life and have no desire / willpower to look back beyond a certain point and really analyze and probe to figure out what #happened to me to make me like this so i can heal the core wound. soim just constantly in wretched tortured panicking creature mode. awesome #this cry for help brought to you by: my sister guilt tripping me into doing her laundry + my brother showing me his beautiful music + #realizing that unlike redacted i have not documented every part of my life and have no access to early childhood artifacts that would reveal #anything about me and that it does n’t even matter / isn’t special anyway. i love being normal 😎🫶🏻‼️ #at least i haven’t been dissociating as badly about work stuff lately but. that’s definitely still a thing too so. what if my whole life is #just the wrong timeline i wasn’t supposed to be in and nothing is actually real. lawl 😳 #this is a ​really awesome time for my therapist to be going on a monthlong honeymoon btw 😍 she deserves it so much but omg im dying already

[gamesyoushouldbeplaying]

Jacob Geller wasnt kidding, that time loop can nihilism

#deathloop #guess whos got deathloop brainrot 2 years later #the ethics of this game drive me insane #if ur the only person trapped in a time loop who knows are you obligated to save it or destroy it? #are you really better than the rest of the visionaries when you kill them all over and over and over? #i have never had a game take me from 'Oh No NPC dont come over here i dont want to kill you!' #to 'how can i kill these guys as efficiently as possible so i can explore easier' this fast #it even has me considering leaving stealth almost entirely which is wild i love stealth :( #but stealth is only really fun the first time through an area or when its avoiding consequences sucessfully #but like fr the more i think about juliannas perspective the more its so crunchy! Like shes basically protecting a bunch of people #living the same day over and over forever #and thats not even getting into the sheer crunchiness of colt and franks relationship like! god i have so many thoughts #anyway shutting up now #gaming #jacob geller #still not done so no spoilers pls #anyway guess who just found out juliana is *spoilers redacted* and im losing my fucking mind a second time #this time loop ruined peoples lives not just once but twice #did colt make all this just to try to recreate the *spoilers* time he lost trapped in a loop????? #im going insane #i speak

[ban-joey]

sending laser beams to my professor with my mind. kenneth you said midterm grades would b up by this afternoon. it is officially TONIGHT and guess what? kenneth i would love to not be clenching my teeth in my sleep tonight. kenneth i will be sending you a bill in the mail. yes i know its probably a TAs responsibility but i blame you personally. i hate school

#i dont im having a lot of fun (genuinely) but it is often pretty stressful #did find out there are a few folks adjacent to my program doing zoonoses & climate change research so im very excited to chat w them next w #possibly directing my thesis towards one health. social epi gradually becoming less interesting #plus i think my strengths do lie in applying epi to biological concepts so. one health works there #my brain continually trying to get back to lyme disease :( sometimes i really do miss the east coast tbh! #not lying actually i think the number one thing i miss is the amt of vector borne disease research LMFAO #i do unfortunately kind of have a crush on a classmate so that's fine but whatever. grad school. men are nice to me and i lose my mind ig #need to go make out w a hot trans person i think that would solve my problems rn #but also it's nice to be so excited about someone deciding to sit next to me in every class :) #like wow how isolated have i been the last 3 years to be so delighted by like. active signs i have Officially Made Friends. #even if he does live like a block away from my dad and jokes every goddamn day like 'so i saw your dad yesterday' no you DIDNT shut UP #idk yesterday he sat right next to me in a class he usually sits w other people in and it sort of sent my brain off the edge and now im jus #yeah. sitting with this one. it's fine like it's normal. but wowie i do think it's my first time having a Big Ol Crush since (redacted) #a little scary for my animal brain i think but it's okay! #im 25 in like 3 ish weeks and i still get embarrassed about this stuff somehow? stupid. #he's just really nice and always really fun to talk to! i think i had to officially Sit With Myself today bc epi is doing a holiday party #and there's a baking contest and we were talking abt it in class and i was indecisive abt whether i want to participate #and he like fully cut me off and was like oh you should bake something so i can have some :) #and. well fuck now i have to lmao. IM SO EASY IT'S SO EMBARRASSING #good evening everyone. guess this is my journal now. anyway ken rice you owe me twenty dollars and i aim to COLLECT

[koiryuu]

not to sound heteronormative or whatever the fuck but i LOOVVEE ships where one man is very masc and butch and stoic and the other man is like a sexy little trophy wife. wearing fancy pretty sparkly clothes and leaning on his arm and sitting across his lap... the trope of a woman who's just an accessory to make her man look good, except its gay.

#i fucking DESPIIISE people calling any form of gay ship heteronormative like yall do not fucking know what words mean #but also disclaimer etc etc im a gnc gay man Shut Up <3 #its literally just sexy thats all. #anyway this is kokoinu and (redacted cause i dont wanna be made fun of for being wrong when i barely know anything about the ship yet) #wheres my stoic autistic masc bf that i can be a trophy wife to huh ???

[vcrnons]

so. i just nearly died.

#shut up j #bugs & insect cw ahead #real. like actually real. #I was in the bath ok. #minding my business. consuming content. as a bitch does. #out the corner of my eye i thought I saw something flying but i checked and there was nothing so I just went back to watching this video #literally 30 seconds later. BIGGEST. MOTHERFUCKING. DADDY LONG LEGS. IVE EVER SEEN. flies around the shower curtain #the scream i scrumpt. was so loud. my mother ran upstairs thinking I was being murdered or some shit. #she bursts into the bathroom like WHATS GOING ON and I’m like THERES A DDL and she looks like she wants to kill #me herself. #valid honestly but [redacted] please some of us have phobias ANYWAY #so she’s like where tf is it and I looked up and I could see it on the window so I’m like right there GEDDIT. so she did. #I saw it fall out the window and we closed the window and everything was fine #I go BACK to my bath expecting peace #these fuckers said peace who I’m here to ruin your night because about 15 minutes later GUESS WHAT #ANOTHER ONE COMES ROUND THE SHOWER CURTAIN #I SQUEALED AGAIN BECAUSE OF COURSE I DID????? #and I stood up because it LANDED. ON. ME. so I’m trying to get it off and I’m gen about to start crying #and then it started flying towards me again so I screamed Again and stumbled and FELL. I FELL. #IN THE BATH. FUCKIN. WATER SPLASHES EVERYWHERE. IM STILL HYSTERICAL. #mum comes in AGAIN and is like BITCH. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. and I’m like THERES ANOTHER FUCKING— #and she’s more worried about her mf bathroom because the floor is like. to be fair. there is not a dry inch of floor. BUT HELLO??? #let’s think about ME????? #so we got rid of the other one and the anticlimactic ending is that I washed my hair and am now sat in my bedroom with a sore throat #but Jesus fucking Christ #HAPPY AUTUMN I GUESS. DAMN. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #I need to sleep for 5 years

[vega-482]

"the narrator and stanley are not lovers, they're awful for eachother" ok i don't care *puts them therapy* i am gay and i wanna see characters that have a really unhealthy relationship become better people and fix their mistakes and be good to eachother and be gay

#plus the narrator is not inherently evil #he has shown compassion and empathy towards stanley #i often think about how he half assedly apologises during the hole ending #for being angry at stanley's obsession with holes lol #plus i know it's not really canon but the audio that was commissioned to kevan about the narrator making u feel better #is like in character #and shows that despite his giant ass fucking ego he does care #and he's very insecure (the skip button ending and all the reviews) #“nooo my game has bad reviews waaah” ok skill issue #plus stanley has sorta freedom #he doesnt feed the bucket to the bucket destroyer thus he CAN ignore the player's commands but he follows them anyways #therefore making the zending and skip button his decision to be shitty #their relationship is more complex than being just uvu lovers #or being shitty towars eachother #and i like them because of that #i want angst i want fluff #i want GAY [redacted] #i want them to fight i want them to kiss eachother #i want them to be complex #but also shut up im gay i do what i want and they will kiss #vega txt

[pearl-kite]

Practicing this style a bit and ooh hey I found a face claim for Gavin

#while I like the idea of caelum and avior etc having horns I don't think that would be very logical for an incubus #something something covert and all #anyway <3 gavin #might make some tweaks and adjustments in the future but I have the idea now v_v #something about a pseudo-pencil brush and a paper texture helps me not be an unbearable perfectionist #and this actually only took around an hour #a lot nicer than the 21 hours for a full illustration #still personally aiming for one full illustration a month #ANYWAY there's been a lot of character art lately it feels good #I should reread some IF and do some ROs while I'm on this roll #if anyone has any recommendations or requests let me know v_v #redacted asmr #redacted gavin #kirehn draws #uhhh what other tags idk #starting to wonder if I need to be careful of burnout because it feels like a lot of stuff lately #not a bad thing but... suspicious... #anyway I have been a chatty kathy today I am shutting up and oh look at the time going to bed

[mkscatgirl]

Nothing will make you hate a person more than having to attend a meeting with them

#[redacted] I WILL KILL YOUUUUUUUUUUU #i was choking this girl out with my mind in that zoom call #AND [REDACTED] IF YOU DONT SHUT UP ABOUT UNRELATED THINGSSSSSSSSSS #we were like okay can your group do X task and the girls like well i dont trust [person who would do task] bc she doesnt know how to do it #like okay girl but ummmm she can learn? if you let her do it???? and then we asked who the previous person in charge was and its their #fucking president like just get her to teach her!!!! JESUS THIS IS AN INTERNAL PROBLEM THAT IS IMMEDIATELY SOLVEABLE DO NOT MAKE THIS OUR #PROBLEM** #AND THEN this guy chimed in like ph the form is just on this site and you just fill it out like is says you just need someone to do it #like. yes. we know. we are asking. WHO! is going to do it. #i looooove asking simple questions in meetings and gettung non answer responses #ANYWAYS im fucking starving so im going to EAT now

[nyxronomicon]

Btw my boyfriend wanted me to put in an "Easter egg" for him and he says if anyone knows what the tattoo by his cock is that I should "give you a free ask" so for today only I'm charging money for every ask I get unless you know what it is

#sorry it's just the way capitalism works #this is made funnier by the fact that he's been on this hellsite just as long as me #anyway. hopefully if you know it's because you actually enjoy the media #and not because you have a partner that won't shut up about [redacted] like i do

[waffulaa]

.

#6 YEARS I'VE WAITED TO JUMP INTO THE TAGS #avoided spoilers like the plague but the scanlations are finally over i am so grateful to them 😭 #anyways if you're into theology astronomy philosophy action and comedy i highly highly highly recommend reading lessa #first two seasons are on we*toon but note the translation is poor with bad grammar and spelling mistakes #for the third season you'll have to [redacted] #it's been almost 6 years since the last official upload and its final season wasn't picked up for translation in all that time...YET #i have faith......faith that it will get not only an official translation but also physical english copies so that i could buy and keep 🥹 #and admire that art the story the characters 🥹 #pogo is such a master at this they're so cool #y'all are probably waiting for me to shut up rn but i will not ever be quiet about my favorite piece of fiction of all time #it's been an hour since i read the last episodes but I've already deprived myself of all the fanart that i could find on twitter #rting it all like a madman #this is like one of the stories that gets better after every reread #and where all the details connect and where nothing gets left behind #i just read through my 11th reread and noticed yet another detail in the early episodes that punched me in the gut and left me sobbing #ALSO i cant believe i forgot to mention but there's angst in it too 😭 #peak fiction. i love everything about lessa both the story and the character #i wish more people could acknowledge it and pogo's works in general #very underappreciated. likely bc it isnt like mainstream we*toons and has a complex plot (it gets easier to understand i swear) #but it's top quality nonetheless #literally changed my life #anyways read lessa if you're looking to fill the hole in your heart and mind and everything #waffula talks

[loverboybrightsideghost]

that's it only me and my friends are allowed to be horny about miguel o'hara from now on

#bluebird.txt #i am SO not main tagging this #but the atspiderverse tag is so full of horniness and i'm like BONKing you on the head shut up about him already #unless you're funny about it and have other thoughts about the movie #i had to block the miguel o'hara x reader tag cuz there was SO MUCH and i'm not even sure if it worked cuz i still see it #anyway i'm not even actually mad i'm just mildly annoyed lol #nice ass sorry about the [redacted for my mutuals bc spoilers][just in case]

[deus-ex-mona]

stuff’s wildin’, my dudes

#auhxhsjahs i n c o h e r e nt rambling coming right up you’ve been warned o k ie~? #so the other day i finally found out about that [redacted thing (if ykyk)]’s (thankfully outdated) mistranslator masterlist and stuff #and i googled the op of that list to see what others had to say about ‘em #(cuz personally i found the dude’s tone through it all to be. pretty mean actually??) #(like h e l p tling probably isn’t these people’s day jobs; they’re probs just hobby tlers?? ease up my g~~~) #b u t i digress. despite having searched for the op of that post i somehow found a post by another fan tler who seemed to have vanished? #*vanished from that [redacted] tling community i mean. they just stopped uploading years ago. prolly bc their main yt channel was terminated #and they??? despite having not made a single post in almost 10 years??? seem to be alive and well in this current age????? #like yoooooooo i’ve legitimately had the thought that something bad had happened to ‘em for y e a r s but they!!! they’re alive!!!!!!! #they seem to have stopped tling for good but!!!!! they’re alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #so i guess i can say that i went hunting for trash and found treasure instead o o o p— #but on another note. i think gatekeeping tling isn’t cool at all. #like yeah there can be some really fishy tls (including official tls a he m) but being mean about it helps no one at all #and so! that’s why! i keep my big mouth shut whenever i see fishy tls floating about the vast open sea in front of me~~~ #i mean. quite a number of those fishy tls are mine anyway. so. um. i don’t have any room to say anything really ahaha~~~~ #but please!!! feel free to blast my tls if you’d like!! my absolutely terrible daikirai tl is a free for all!!!!! #g o d i should really revise that soon. it’s terribly mistranslated and i cringe and wilt inside. #it is suiyoubi my dudes #well. not anymore but… it is still suiyoubi in my heart <3

[vanveronicango]

y’all... i’ve entered my grishaverse goblin era

#once i finally caught up on the show #yeah. yeah i get it #and YES i will be reading the books i know they're v v different #and i've already been spoiled on some plotpoints but that's to be expected #watched one soc tik tok and now there's seven videos talking about [redacted]'s death right in my face #anyway #i will be reading!!! but for now get ready for me to make 700 show edits #<3333333 #shut up andie

[satanfemme]

sorry 🙈 for having anger issues 👉 👈 *fucking kills y

#I dont even remember what prompted my current mood #and thats how I know it was trigger by something completely meaningless -- oh nvm I remember #I'm currently rage mode because I'm seeing a certain show in less than a week and thinking about it is.... overwhelming in the worst way #because [redacted delusional explaination] #<- actually hilarious that I struggled to say ''delusional'' there cause I was like ''well this part's real so that label's not technic -'' #like shut UP!!!!! #anyway im normal 🙂 #negative

[pierswife]

I'm so sorry to the animal crossing meme blog I stole this from but this is literally me 24/7--

#like literally if you ask me anything about resident evil I won't fucking shut up /lh #2 minute before I go to bed edits made on my phone my beloved #this has next promo post image potential #data log: personal #anyway niniiiiight I am kissing my re girlfriends and [redacted] I guess--