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#anyways now there’s a whole issue that was brought up to someone who can hopefully fix this issue
stupidsagestars · 1 year
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𝐬.𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐮 𝐱 (𝐟) 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: a famous chess player who's shy and quiet has a bit of fun with a bold,fun photographer.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smut,cum eating,fingering,cunilingus,riding, degradation.
'★- i watched queen's gambit a while ago and I just couldn't stop thinking of an oblivious chess reader having to deal with an eccentric Tendō, enjoy!!
--𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐄𝐑--
--•--•
It had been approximately 6 weeks since you had won the national chess championships being the first woman to do so in the last 50 years. This obviously made it in papers around the world. You had been in interviews,adverts,signed contracts with brands all in the space of a month. Now it was a time for yet another photoshoot. You dressed in a simple sundress since you knew you would have to change anyway and brought along a bag with a chess board in it. According to your agent, your destination was a manor in the countryside, you were taking pictures for Vogue's spring magazine.
You knocked on the door and waited for someone to hopefully open it.
It slowly opened and you found yourself face to face with an extremely attractive guy. His hair was a cherry red which was unusual but it fit him so well. He was super tall so he towered over you. His eyes are wide and seem to be analyzing you with ever glance. He's dressed in a blue and white striped polo shirt with beige trousers and green socks.
"So you're here!" He said welcoming you in.
"It's a pleasure to meet you miss chess champion, I'm Tendo Satori, your photographer" He says offering his hand out for you to shake it.
"This place is incredibly beautiful,do you own it?" You asked, observing the space around you.
"Yep. Although I wasn't the one who decorated it." He notes, leaning on an armchair behind him.
"Do you have a girlfriend who did it all for you?" You ask.
He scoffs, "Nope, I'm quite lucky to be honest this place is passed down from my dad who got it front grandad who got it from his dad- you get what I mean."
You nod.
"So, we'll be working all around the house today. Let's start in the kitchen, do you have your clothes?" He asks, adjusting the lens on his camera.
You freeze. "Oh uh I thought they would be here."
"Don't worry about it. I'll call 'em and see what they say." He plunges his hand in his pocket for his phone and leaves you for a moment to have a chat with whoever was in charge.
You were left to sort of just stand there, you decided to take out you chess board. You walked over to the kitchen and placed it on the island. You didn't take the pieces out so you didn't look rude. Instead you just played it in your head, just like you did when you were kid. It was a last resort but it worked,at least it did for you.
"Move the rook forward 2 spaces." You muttered to yourself, hands tracing the board.
Suddenly you heard a voice from behind you that made you jump, "you really are great aren't you?" Tendo said, his eyes wide with interest.
"Thank you." You said quietly feeling your face burn.
"How'd you do it, like the whole playing in your head thing?"
"It sort of just happens, as a kid I'd didn't have a board so that was all I coul really do."
"That's so cool."His eyes brightened and he couldn't help but smile at this delightful woman.
He cleared his throat and began to speak. "Right so we've got a few issues. The first being that they've decided they want you for Victoria's secret today and Vogue tomorrow. It means you're going to have to wear some lingerie." He says slowly.
"But! I wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable so you don't have to if you're not up to it."
You looked away, "I guess I can do it."
His eyes light up,"Great. Come with me."
You can't help but feel the tension in the atmosphere, it felt like he would say anything, those tiny praises were making your heart twist and he was so casual and cool it gave you butterflies.
"Right so the room on the left is the dressing room you'll find a red lingerie in there. I'm just going to get some equipment so I'll meet you back at the kitchen."
"Great." You say, giving him a small smile.
You walk into the dressing room which most definitely had the red lingerie you were looking for but it wasn't just that there were many, many, colours and patterns. You took off your dress and your underwear and put on the lingerie it had floral patterns on it, definitely something Victoria's secret would sell.
You take a deep breath and leave the room. You walk down the stairs to find Tendo already waiting for you.
"You look lovely." He said, eying you up and down, his breath hitched,the sight of you made his heart twist, he could feel an erection building up inside of him.
"I can't help but feel like you're giving me too many compliments." You say, innocently. Now for some reason you didn't find any of this extremely uncomfortable or lewd maybe because your brain was filled with chess pieces, competitions and strategies you didn't spend much time thinking about sexual thoughts or lustful feelings, now that you were 23 years old, although these things were common in the adult world it had still been difficult for you to adjust,coming from an orphanage that was completely disconnected from society.
"I could give alot more but I'm a professional man." He replies, running a hand through his hair. Tendou wasn't lying when he said this, he could bathe you in praises if he wished to but he didn't want to creep you out but then he couldn't help but get even more aroused, you were so innocent and just unaware, would you be different in bed, oh how funny would that be! You with a completely different personality whilst he relentlessly pounds into you, happy to be his slut.
"Right so what'd you want me to do?" You say standing Infront of the island.
"Uh, well I've put all the pieces on the board because I think we can utilise it, act like you're using it."
"Okay." You pick up the bishop and hold it in your hand.
"Nice now bend over slightly."
The camera clicks a few times.
"Perfect now I want your right hand on your hips and look like you're trying to figure something out, take some of the pieces off the board." He orders and you oblige.
"Move your hand a little up." He says and you do but he decides to walk towards you.
"Do you mind if I do it for you?"
"Go ahead."
He bends down and holds your hand gently. He moves it right above your panties, you can feel his breath on you whereas you could barely breathe. His hands were so cold against your warm body.
You couldn't help but curse in response to this odd feeling in your stomach.
"You alright y/n?" He asks slowly getting back up and putting his hands on your shoulders.
"Don't be worried, you're doing a great job." He said and you quickly nod, "t-thanks." You say but it barely comes out.
What was this feeling? This man was reducing you to feeble expressions and quick nods how did he do it. Ever since you were 7, playing chess with the old cleaner, you hadn't thought about anything but chess but over the past year or two you had become more exposed to the ideas of sex,money, alcohol and freedom, now here you were at 23 years old stealing looks at this hot photographer who couldn't stop complimenting you.
"Like that." He whispers mouth millimetres away from brushing against your ear.
He walks back behind the camera and takes more shots.
Tendou could feel the atmosphere eating him alive, god was he horny. The feeling in his dick could not be mistaken. He remembered the first time he heard about you. It was Saturday morning and he was sitting in the living room going through his emails.
"vogue spring shoot with Y/n l/n next week." He reads out slowly. He'd opened another tab to search you up.
He found himself staring at and abundance of articles.
"FIRST WOMAN TO WIN NATIONAL CHESS CHAMPIONSHIPS IN THE LAST 50 YEARS."
"𝗦𝗧𝗨𝗡𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝟮𝟯 𝗬𝗘𝗔𝗥 𝗢𝗟𝗗 𝗕𝗘𝗔𝗨𝗧𝗬 𝗧𝗔𝗞𝗘𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗪𝗜𝗡 𝗙𝗥𝗢𝗠 𝗥𝗘𝗜𝗚𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗠𝗣."
His eyes fluttered with interest. Tendo had a thing for smart girls, he didn't know if what he had could be classed as a kink but he just loved seeing this completely different side of them in bed. He was watching an interview of you now, you were exactly what he wanted, what he needed, you sounded like an intellectual,dressed casually, was extremely beautiful, he had to have you.
"She seems fun."
--★--
"Okay next up is the living room. They want a super casual mood, kind of like your recovering from a hangover."
"Oh okay."
"You're gonna have to look a little messy." He says placing a few cameras around the area.
"How messy?" You question.
"Like you've just had sex for a few hours and you've been drinking a mix of vodka and coca cola?"
You make a slightly grossed out face which he laughs at.
"Just try and look unkept it's not too hard."
"Yes it is, how am I meant to look messy??" You asks, crossing your arms.
"Ever had a hangover?"
"Surprisingly, yes, alot." You say, your voice laced with embarrassment.
"Really? Why do you seem so embarrassed about it?"
"Well you don't expect that type of behaviour from someone like me would you?" You say looking down at the floor.
"So what if I didn't, it makes you so much more interesting and it tells me you know how to have fun."
You can feel your face getting hot,"thank you."
He walks over to you and places his hand on your shoulder and examining your face.
"Now I see why you're struggling, this little face of yours is too damn pretty." He mutters, it's taking everything for him to not just pull you into a kiss.
Again, you freeze like that's all you know how to do. But you take a breath and think of it like a chess game. He was your opponent trying to rattle you.
"Again with the compliments,you really need to control yourself Mr Satori." You say, placing your hands on his and slowly pushing them off.
He looks at you surprised, but your outburst had appealed to him much more than you'd ever know.
"Why don't we take a break, like a chess break, play me, I want to know how good the chess champion is." He says breathless,a hand on his collar.
"Okay that sounds great."
"Let's play in my room, it's got a nice view." He offers.
"I would love to, lead the way sir."
--★--
You and Tendou had been sitting in his room for a good hour now, next to his large window which gave an extraordinary view to his room.
Little did you know, he had been eye fucking you ever since you had entered his room. You still hadn't taken off that red lingerie and he couldn't help but steal glances,red was his favourite colour.
You had beat him 15 times and you were both a little bit tipsy. He had offered you one of your favourite bottles which you just couldn't decline.
"Checkmate." You yawn, leaning back on the fancy armchair.
He pouts. "Seriously??"
"Yep." You chuckle.
"I would love to teach you something." He says quietly looking away.
"That would be nice, what's on your mind?"
His eyes light up.
"Stand up." He orders and you oblige.
"Do you mind if I touch you?" He asks first, standing up, his hands inches away from your hips.
"Sure."
He places one hand on your hips and another hovers around your panties.
"F-fuck." You curse, his grip becomes tighter.
"You want to continue to the game??" He whispers.
"Yes, yes." You say.
"You're a smart girl, I want full sentences, you think you can do that." He says latching his mouth on to your neck causing you to moan.
"I-I want to continue your game."
"Perfect." That consent from you was the final box ticked. He shoved his hands in your panties and let his fingers explore.
"So fucking wet." he mumbles.
Your sweet moans made him even more hornier, he wanted to fulfill all of his dirtiest fantasies right here right now.
"Little miss champion, letting herself get fingered by her photographer." He taunts, increasing his speed.
"I can see it on the papers now, little mis chess champion gets fucked outta her brains by Tendo Satori." He exclaims, slotting his lips into yours.
He notices your breath hitch and your legs shake a little which tells him you were about to cum.
"P-please go faster." You gasp, feeling yourself about to crumble.
"Ever been fingered like this y/n??" He continues, plunging his hand even deeper.
You respond with moans which tells you both everything you need to know.
"Didn't think so either." He sighs, slowly removing his hands. He shows his hand which is covered in your cum. He licks it all off, sticking his tongue out at you and smirking at your fucked out face, he was going to ruin you.
He pushes you onto his bed and you both quickly undress.
"You're so lewd." He chuckles placing his hand on your cheek.
"If anyone your the lewd one here, Mr Satori." You retort.
"Oh am I? You wanna see how lewd I can be y/n??"
He unbuttons his shirt and continues speaking, " how am I gonna explain this to my boss huh?" He clicks his tongue, giving your pussy a small slap.
"Tell him you were busy." You say and he laughs.
"I think we're gonna need more than that y/n." He say, slipping his trousers off.
You crawl over to him fiddling with the band of his Calvin Klein boxers.
"Tell him you were busy turning me into your slut."
He blinks a few times before looking at you.
You pull his boxers down and move your mouth down on his cock.
You slowly bob your head but before long he's forcing his cock down your throat, moving his hips and impeccable pace and destroying your throat. Sooner than later, there's a salty taste in your mouth, in response to his taunts earlier you stick your tongue out at him before swallowing it.
"My dirty little champion." He says, pulling you into you a long kiss.
You position yourself onto him, causing you both to let out a string of moans.
You start to bounce on him, your pussy sucked into his thick,veiny cock. He places his hands on both sides of your hips and helps you keep balance.
"Fuck,didn't know you were so nasty babe." He moans out, feeling his orgasm about to come.
"You might wanna take a picture Tendo." You breathe out, pushing yourself as deep as possible into him.
"No way, this is for my eyes only." He responds, equally breathless.
"gonna cum, gonna cum fuck." He swiftly lifts your dripping cunt onto his face leaving you in complete bliss. He lets his tongue swirls around you, eating you out like a starved man, he lets himself release, thick ropes of cum spread over his thighs.
"I'm thinking we go for round 2."
"No time to waste babe. Lets do it."
--★--
"I must say your game was pretty fun." You say arms wrapped around him.
"All thanks to you." He yawns giving you a small peck on the cheek.
"It's only 12pm and we're in bed." You chuckle.
"It's fine, I mean we did fuck for 2 hours."
★★★
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gotta-hug-em-all · 2 months
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The end? or the beginning?
Hiya cuties! I’m uh… not used to writing in this sorta way, I usually post on other websites, but this one is kinda too long to put anywhere else. So you’re stuck with me blogging it instead! Hope that’s ok with all the fine residents of Rotomblr! Just some background, I can’t keep Pokemon because I didn’t pass the really easy yearly “are you smart enough to raise Pokemon '' competency exam. Like ya know, the one that like 99.9% of people pass? So I’ve been going around collecting hugs instead of Pokemon. Gym leaders each give me a challenge to do so I can hug their Pokemon, and today I did the final gym, Drayden’s. His was pretty simple: slay three dragons. More specifically, beat his three dragon type Pokemon in battle. So that’s what I was doing! I’m gonna be like really dramatic about it cuz that’s fun, but I promise I’m not making anything up. This is Jace Embrace letting you in to see his (very large sized) heart. Aaaanyways, without further ado, here’s the story of how I beat Drayden!
So it all started with a waiver. Standard stuff really, most of the time the stuff I do for fun is really dangerous, so you gotta sign away your right to like do stuff if you get hurt and stuff, but this one was like… way different. The agreement that the other person is trying to hurt you kinda makes it go to a whole nother level. I’d prefer if I didn’t die, after all, but also if I go out fighting a dragon type in my knight outfit, I guess that’d be a pretty fun way to go. This waiver was like at least 30 pages longer than all the other ones I’ve signed before. It’s that kinda anxiety I live for, the kind that makes me scared, the kind that makes me want to run away. Not running away is the best part. Standing my ground and telling myself I can do something even if my subconscious tells me I shouldn’t. Being the master of my own subconscious makes it all worth it. The only thing that brought me conscious resistance was the understanding that my friends, boyfriend, and Frank (A love variant Solosis I created on accident/on purpose) would miss me if I were gone. But I think just like people who go climbing and caving, they accepted that my hobby was dangerous, and supported me despite that baggage. Honestly… I can’t thank them enough for that. It’s been nice to have that off my shoulders, even if there was a time where it dragged me down so much I almost turned into someone I hated. But all that’s behind me by a lot now, I’m a new man (new femboy? Is that a saying people use?) now, and I couldn’t love myself more. Rough around the edges a bit, but hopefully that changes. I’m pretty damn hopeful it will, especially after the events of this story. Oh shit I got off track again, so I signed that waiver. It's so ironic that I feel the most alive when I put my life on the line, but I’ve found happiness in it.
The countdown rushed by, Drayden sent out his Fraxure first, I guess he was doing this gym leader style. I felt pretty confident about this, which for reasons I’ll get into later, was stupid. But that’s ok, stupid isn’t a dealbreaker, just an issue to work around. So I charged into combat, and of course this did not go super well. I am a human. Humans don’t have super special magic powers, they have super normal mundane powers, like calculus. I don’t know calculus and even if I did I don’t think it’d help me fight a dragon type. Anyways, I started getting my ass absolutely kicked, like so hard, like it hurt a lot. I tried to like… unlock my inner anime self, but obviously that doesn’t exist in real life so I kinda just looked like a dude shouting at a Fraxure while getting his ass beat first. Drayden wasn’t even giving commands, just sorta letting it fight like a Pokemon in the wild. I ended up getting knocked to the ground several times. 
Drayden honestly trains his Pokemon well, the rule was that I wasn’t allowed to faint, otherwise I’d lose the battle. Kinda like a normal Pokemon battle. He definitely trained it well cause I didn’t die, and it was definitely being soft. I think the goal was to get me to quit. After a few minutes of getting roughed up, I stumbled back, clutching my sword arm, which had been heavily wounded in the process. My sword was all the way across the room, and between it and me was the Fraxure. For the first time in the whole fight, Drayden barked out a command.
“Finish him. Dragon Tail.” There was nothing I could do. Simply put. It was faster than me, stronger than me, it had more stamina than me, even my tiny-ass brain could put that together. I was fucked. I didn’t run though. I never run. I stood my ground, holding up both arms, gritting my teeth as the movement brought stabs of pain to me. What was coming for me would hurt, I knew that, so I braced for that pain. As the Fraxure charged me at full speed, I heard a voice, but not with my ears, with my brain. It spoke loudly, with a deep and monotone voice, almost like a robot. “{Anomaly. On. Your. Six.}”
Before I could even look behind me, there was a burst of force I felt on my back. Not enough to move me, but enough to feel it. The Fraxure in front of me seemed to hit an invisible wall inches before its attack made contact, dropping to the ground, fainted. I gasped, shocked that I was still conscious. As I looked behind myself, Drayden returned his Fraxure to his pokeball. Behind me was a rather large Sigilyph, its patterns looked strange, its markings having much more complexity than what I was used to seeing on my adventures. Yet… it looked familiar to me. “{Anomaly I am… rather I was… the Keeper. I sense you do not recognize me. It has been 8 months since I last met with you face to face. I now wish to fight alongside you. I await a new purpose. To fight alongside you like the knights and Sigilyph of old. Let me aid you in combat. Now, and until we part.}” Not gonna lie. I kinda cried a lot. But I had to keep fighting. I ran up and hugged it, gasping in pain of course, my right arm was still injured. After a short hug, I stepped back. Suddenly, the Sigilyph’s eye began to glow a soft purple as I felt the pain in my arm fade away. It was definitely still wounded, I still couldn’t move it right, but at least it didn’t hurt. I looked behind me, back at Drayden. He gave me a smile under his white beard. What a GILF. I still don’t know if he knew this would happen, oh well.
Drayden threw out his second pokeball, letting out a hearty chuckle as a Druddigon appeared. I figured I should give a name to my first ever pokemon “I guess this is where the real battle starts. I’m gonna start calling you Squire, is that ok?” the Sigilyph responded “{Your wish is my command. You are right handed. For now, you will be left handed. Fight with your left arm as your right is wounded.}” Its eye began to glow again, and I could feel a weird sensation in my hands and head. Squire didn’t explain until later that handedness is determined by both genetics and the way the brain develops. He couldn’t change the way my body was genetically routed, but he could subtly rewrite my mind to make me temporarily ambidextrous, turning all my (admittedly low) sword muscle memory into muscle memory for a mirrored stance. I don’t quite understand it all, but I understand it enough to know it works. This weird feeling didn’t last long, and I was quickly snapped out of it by Drayden giving a command to his Druddigon.
“Druddigon, Revenge.” He ordered the pokemon, which caused it to charge me with brutal intent. From Squire, I once again heard his voice in my head “{Anomaly, I am casting the protective seal of reflection and the protective screen of light.}” Its patterns began to glow and shake, and two different translucent layers of energy surrounded me, as if to serve as a miniature forcefield clinging to my skin. I took up a defensive stance, knowing I still couldn’t dodge this attack either. It hit me with an all things considered quite forceful shoulder check, and I was sent flying across the battle arena. We weren’t using the two dragons for obvious reasons, so instead we were using a flat arena so I didn’t accidentally fall to my death. As I flew, I realized something. I wasn’t actually hurt all too bad. None of me felt broken, just a few cuts here and there. Time seemed to slow down as my mind was driven into overdrive. I heard Squire’s voice in my head once more. “{I have taken the liberty of temporarily increasing the speed at which your brain functions. I will also cast the seal of the tailwind to allow you to move faster so your body moves at the speed your mind thinks. This is how the knights of Relic Castle once fought. Fight with bravery and purity of heart. I will serve as your spotter.}”
My movement sped up once more as it beat its wings, causing a magical wind to press my body to move faster, catching up with my sped up mind. I was able to grab ahold of one of the rafters of the arena, slowing the impact and hanging from above. “Follow him, Night Slash” Drayden shouted at his Druddigon, which flapped its wings and began pursuit. It would normally be way faster than me, but with Squires assistance, I now fought with it on an even playing field. I still needed my sword, and I knew just how I’d get to it.
As the Druddigon flew into the air, I swung myself down from the rafters, landing feet first on its head, moving far faster than it expected. Its guard wasn’t up yet, so I was able to kick it in the snout with both my metal armored boots. Using its face as a springboard, I jumped off of it in the direction of my sword, the Tailwind carrying me until I was very close. I ran up and as I leaned down to snatch the sword, I felt a subtle suggestion in the back of my mind telling me to do a flip. So I did a flip, grabbing the sword in my left hand as I did. I’m glad I heeded the advice of the suggestion, since doing the flip allowed me to see what was behind me: a full speed charging Druddigon with a claw wrapped in darkness aimed directly at me.
In midair I raised my sword to parry the claw, in a movement the felt familiar but I knew I had never used. It was around this point I realized Squire wasn’t just watching me, he was helping me, teaching me moves on the spot I had never learned, giving me muscle memory that I’d never had before. The human body was versatile, I had never really thought about it much, but with Squire’s help covering for my statistical weaknesses I was able to employ these techniques, techniques used by knights of old, stored in the Sigilyph’s memory to help people like me fight. No wonder he followed me for so long. I had accidentally unearthed an ancient tradition that he was purpose-built to serve. His mental assistance was clearing up the brain fog that my ADHD caused, making it easier to enter the flow state. I could think clearer, coming to these realizations in the split seconds before the Druddigon struck at me. My sword parried the blow effortlessly, transferring the energy of the slash into the ground instead of my face, causing the Druddigon to let out a roar as it smashed its claw on the metal ground, making sparks fly.
“Dragon Tail.” Drayden barked orders at the Druddigon as I looked down at my sword. I was expecting the sword to be heavily damaged, but whatever protective barrier that Squire applied to me also had enveloped the sword, also strengthening its durability. Before the Druddigon could begin his attack, I began mine. I charged it with the tip of my sword pointed at it, unleashing a flurry of whirling slashes and stabs. From here on, I fell into a rhythm, my body almost moving on its own as I fought with my mind in tandem with Squire, using both its view and my view, a third person view and a first person view, an experienced mind and a brave mind. The Druddigon had thick hide that allowed it to shrug off most attacks, but by aiming for weak points and getting it to slam into walls, I eventually brought it down. 
Drayden sent out his final Pokemon, his Haxorous. This was his ace, I did do a little bit of research before the fight (watching one mewtube video that I fell asleep right before the midway point of), but Squire was bringing the knowledge of that video that I had passively absorbed to the forefront of my mind. I knew he would try to have it set up with Dragon Dance, then strike at me with Dragon Tail until it won. I could win if I didn’t allow it space to set up, so that’s exactly what I did.
The rest of the fight was a blur as I sunk into tactics, once again entering a trancelike state as I was assisted by Squire. Before I fully realized what was going on, I brought the Haxorus to the ground, finishing the fight by smashing the pommel of my sword into its head hard enough to knock it out. By now my sword, despite its increased durability, was heavily damaged, so I quickly sheathed it and bowed to Drayden in true fashionable Jace style. “Good fight! I had a lot of fu- oop…” I said as I suddenly felt all the strength drain from my body, causing me to fall to the ground. “{As a downside to increasing your speed and mental capacity… battles such as these will be very physically taxing on your mind and body. A good night’s rest will do you good, but for now just sit and take a breather.}” 
I laid there for a few minutes as Drayden approached me, withdrawing his Haxorus. Once I felt I was physically able, I sat up and reached a hand towards Drayden, which he knelt down to shake before picking me up like a baby and taking me to a bench for me to sit down on. “You fought well.” His normally ever-present glare had softened a bit, making him seem almost like a grandfather. “I will allow you to hug my Pokemon now, and I will grant you this badge. It’s not the normal badge we give, you will have to return and fight me in a Pokemon vs. Pokemon battle for that, but it is a badge. The Opelucid badge of honor. I don’t normally give these out to just any person who enters my gym, but you have shown outstanding courage, determination, and most importantly of all, kindness. You’ve made friends along the way in your journey and fostered relationships that will last you a lifetime should you cultivate them with great care. Your optimistic personality is admirable as well, for you shine as a light in other people’s darkness, although you might want to make sure that your light is not blinding, even legends have flaws and I urge you to keep that in mind as you continue your journey across Unova. Lastly… I’ll get to my point in all this. You have two Pokemon that would call you their master if you had the means to have them join your party. One of them is here, the other you have sent off to stay with someone else. Both of these could only exist in the way they do because of your love. I believe if you were allowed to raise them, you would do so far better than most trainers. I cannot change the current establishment to allow for people like you to prove yourselves, but I do intend to fund a project for people like you who struggled in school to get the help they need. Your story has taught me something valuable: sometimes all someone needs to be great is a little help here and there. I’m going to appeal to the league and ask that they give you a two month temporary license. I trust during this time you will study hard for your next exam. I believe in your ability to succeed this time. Keep your head held high Jace, I hope that one day you surpass me in strength.”
The rest of the day was a blur. There’s plans for me to get a whole ceremony celebrating my accomplishments and stuff. I won’t complain but I think it’s a bit much for little ol me… I plan to study hard like Drayden said. Squire has already agreed to help me, and I have convinced him to start calling me “Jace” or “Knight” instead of “Anomaly” so that’s cool. I look forward to my future. I might’ve failed my trainers license exam 9 times in a row, but I wasn’t built different back then. When I was on the journey back to the hotel room I was staying in with my boyfriend, we were talking about the trainer license exam. The conversation went a little something like this:
“Do you think you can learn enough to pass in two months? It’s been a while since you’ve been to school.”
“If I were to take the whole exam in one sitting… it might be a little tough.”
“Would you fail?”
“Nah, I’d pass.”
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kurtsgirl69 · 3 years
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okay so my email problem at work isn’t fixed yet which is ass bc i litcherally cannot do my job rn
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caitimetravels · 3 years
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she's insignificant
chapter 10: where you've gone
the umbrella academy x (fem) reader
disclaimer: i do not own the plot/storyline of the netflix tv series and i do not own the umbrella academy characters.
warnings: none
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with a sigh, y/n stood. five was still writing away behind her on the walls non-stop. she didn't dare interrupt him, simply leaving. she would be back anyways. all she needed was a nice walk. 
as she wandered down the street with no destination in mind she spaced out, eyes trained on her feet. suddenly someone knocked her shoulder and brought her back to reality. she raised her head, hoping they weren't someone looking to start a fight or argue with her.
"y/n?" instead she was met with allison. her technically older sister seemed frustrated.
"allison? are you okay?" y/n's eyebrows furrowed, looking up at the curly haired woman. 
"yeah.. i think so" she frowned, "i'm worried about vanya. she won't listen to me but her boyfriend, whoever he is.. i think he's dangerous. i couldn't find anything about him-"
"you went searching for his records?" y/n pulled back in disbelief, "allison! you know vanya doesn't like-"
"i know, she already got angry with me" allison sighed, shaking her head.
"why would you do that?" y/n tilted her head up at her, eyes narrowing incredulously. "where are you even going?"
"well, i found his address. i was going to see if anything's weird.." she earned a disapproving look, "i can't just sit around and do nothing y/n! please, help me, for vanya?"
y/n's expression only darkened, "why are you trying to ruin one of the only good things in her life?! she deserves to be happy for once and im not going to help you take that away from her!" she begun to shout, freezing as she realised her powers were getting out of control in the middle of the street. "just.. leave them alone!" 
she took off, hoping to get away, she needed to get away.
————————————————–
as the sweet melody came to soft halt y/n smiled up at her sister. vanya donned a similar grin, placing her violin down and joining y/n on the floor, cross legged and leaning back against her bed.
"one day, you're going to be amazing, v" y/n mumbled quietly, looking like she was in a slight daze, "more amazing than you are now.. you're going to be a famous violinist, i can see it now. 'vanya hargreeves, the world's best violinist'" 
vanya softly nudged her shoulder, shaking her head. "no way, the world? c'mon" 
"i'm serious!" y/n was adamant, sitting up straighter to see her better, "you're gonna be so cool! and everyone here is going to see you and say 'damn, wish i had seen how awesome our sister was back then' and you're going to have lots of fans!"
vanya snorted, shyly brushing her long hair to the side, "yeah, right"
".. you won't forget me when you're famous, right?" y/n leaned back against the bed to avoid direct eye contact, her voice was much softer now. "don't forget me.. okay?" she nervously side eyed her sister, trying to gauge her reaction.
"i could never" vanya shook her head, leaning into the h/c haired girl. both of them shared small content grins.
————————————————–
as she walked upstairs to five's room she heard a commotion, hopefully he hadn't gotten into a fight with one of their siblings again, right?
wrong.
"put her down" five snarled, holding a gun up to luther who held dolores' body out the window. y/n grinned at the sight, highly amused. who would have thought luther would ever threaten someone? well, y'know excluding their missions.. but five nonetheless? she leaned casually against the doorway, arms crossing and waiting for them to sort out whatever issue she walked in on.
"put the gun down, you're not killing anyone today. i know she's important to you so don't make me do this" luther paused, waiting to see what five would do. "it's either her or the gun.. you decide"
eventually five did decide that dolores was more important and dropped the gun before spacial jumping to catch dolores before she could fall. not that much damage would have occurred to the mannequin anyways, maybe a few scratches.
"i can keep doing this all day" luther spoke triumphantly, now holding the gun at his side. y/n snorted, catching their attention.
"you're such children" both glared at her in response, "c'mon, surely you have a better plan than whatever ended up in this-" she gestured vaguely between them, "squabble"
"we did not squabble" five hissed, placing dolores down and straightening his jacket. "but yes, i do have a one other plan" 
————————————————–
the three of them, five, luther and y/n, drove down an empty road before slowing to a stop. five unbuckled his seatbelt and sighed, looking around.
"you know, i never enjoyed it" he started and luther turned to him in confusion.
"what?"
"the killing. i mean i was- i was good at my work and i took pride in it but it never gave me pleasure" he took a deep breath, "i think it was all those years alone. solitude can do funny things to the mind"
"yeah well, you were gone for such a long time.. i only spent four years on the moon but that was more than enough. it's the being alone that breaks you" luther placed a hand on the briefcase, "you think they'll buy it?"
"well, what i do know is that they're desperate. it's like a cop losing his gun" he alluded, "if the commission finds out they'll be in deep shit, well not to mention that they'll be stuck here until they get it back"
"i should hold onto it" luther suggested, patting it with one hand.
"hm?" five's eyebrows furrowed,
"incase they make a move on you" he added to explain his point.
"okay, luther.. but be careful. i've lived a long life but.. you're still a young man, you've got your whole life ahead of you. don't waste it" y/n snorted and five turned to her, unamused.
"what?" they stared at each other for a moment before five shook his head, looking away with a small smile.
suddenly a car began to drive towards them and they all made to get out of the car. "here we go" five sighed again, he was doing that a lot, y/n realised.
the car continued to drive past them, stopping a few metres away.
"if this all goes sideways.. do me a favour and tell dolores i'm sorry" five turned to luther who nodded slowly.
as five walked away from them y/n leaned back against the car.
"i have a bad feeling about this" she nervously picked at her nails and luther frowned, looking over at her.
"why? what's wrong?"
"that.. i don't know yet" she looked down the road, "i just.. feel like something's off" she shook her head as five walked back, leaning next to her.
luther stepped forwards a bit, "what happens now?"
"now we wait" 
barely a moment later they heard the music of an ice cream truck. y/n squinted against the sun and wind, trying to work out who it was. she took a moment to focus, sensing klaus, diego and ben. uh oh.
as the car got closer luther turned to five, "is that her?"
"luther, you idiot" y/n shook her head, "it's klaus and diego" right on time klaus waved to them as they passed.
the two assassins begun shooting, thinking it was a set up and y/n raised her arms to cover her head as luther stepped in front of her and five to block any shots.
suddenly time stopped.. well, only for five.
he frowned down at y/n next to him, the girl cowering in on herself. he felt bad for bringing her into something like this but she was very persistent.
he slowly stepped under luther's arm, looking at everyone frozen in slight confusion.
"neat trick, isn't it?" a feminine voice called out behind him and he turned to face the woman he had asked to see. the handler. she stared at him, pulling the veil over her face up and onto her hat instead before pulling her sunglasses off.
"hello, five" she smiled, "you look good.. all things considered" she softly gestured to all of him.
"it's good to see you again" he nodded back,
"feels like we met just yesterday, 'course you were a little bit older then" she teased, "congratulations on the age regression, by the way. very clever, threw us all off the scent"
"ah, well, i wish i could take credit" five shrugged, looking away. "i just miscalculated the time dilation of projections and.. well, you know, here i am" his gaze met hers once again, throwing his hands up before putting them back in his pockets, casually.
"you realise your efforts are futile" the handler shifted so that her briefcase was behind her, "so, why don't you tell me what you really want?"
"i want you to put a stop to it" five moved his own hands behind his back. 
"you realise what you're asking for is next to impossible even for me" she shook her head, "what's meant to be is meant to be. that's our raison d'etre" 
"yeah?" five smiled sarcastically, pulling a gun from his shorts "well how about survival as a raison?" 
"i'll just be replaced, i am but a small cog in a machine" the handler waved it off, ignoring the gun pointing straight at her heart. "this fantasy you've been nurturing about summoning up your family to stop the apocalypse is just that.. a fantasy. i must say though, we'll quite impressed with your initiative, your stick-to-it-tiveness, really quite- quite something. which is why we want to offer you, a new position back at the commission, in management" the handler held a hand up, smiling like her offer was an obvious choice.
"sorry what's that now?" five scoffed as she stepped closer, hand tightening on the gun.
"come back to work for us again, you know it's where you belong" 
"well, it didn't work out too well the last time" he glared up at her, not liking the persistence.
"oh but you wouldn't be in the correction department any longer, i'm talking about the home office, you'd have the best health and pension and an end to this ceaseless travel" she laughed freely, "you're a distinguished professional in.. school boy shorts. we have the technology to reverse the process. i mean you- you can't be happy like this" she slowly pushed his gun down, stepping ever closer.
"i'm not looking for happy" he spat through gritted teeth.
the handler only tilted her head, eyeing him carefully before raising a hand to stroke his cheek, "we're all looking for happy. we can make that happen, we can make you.. yourself again"
five huffed a laugh, gesturing to his siblings. "what about my family?"
"what about them?" the handler raised an eyebrow, acting like she didn't already know he intended to save them.
"i want them to survive" 
the handler took in a deep breath, taking in the sight of luther protecting y/n who was still crouching against the car as well as diego and klaus who were in the middle of crashing the ice cream truck.
"all of them?" 
"yes, all of them" he narrowed his eyes at her,
the handler gave him a small smirk, moving towards the recoiled girl. five watched carefully, waiting to see what she would do.
"it's such a shame.. she would have done well with us. if only we could take her too" she reached a hand out, about to touch her but five moved first, spacial jumping in front of her and grabbing her hand. he held her away from y/n.
"don't touch her" he snarled, unmoving from his protective stance. 
"my my, five, i didn't expect such protectiveness from you" the handler merely smirked, stepping away. as they walked back she once again proposed her deal.
"well" the handler begun, reaching a hand into her pocket and pulling out her sunglasses before putting them back on her face. "i'll see what i can do from them.. do we have a deal?" she reached a hand out to him, awaiting his acceptance. he merely stared at her hand before sighing,
"one thing" five stepped back, putting his gun in his shorts again. he walked over to hazel's gun on the floor, taking out the ammunition and chucking it on one side of the road before chucking the rest of the gun to the other. he turned and walked back, noticing the bullet headed towards luther and y/n. he frowned, using his pointer finger and thumb to move it over so that it would hit the car instead of them.
as soon as he shook her outstretched hand they disappeared and time was restored.
y/n shivered, ignoring the bullet hitting the car next to her and the way her siblings scrambled around to get away quick. she allowed herself to be shoved into the car with klaus and diego, spaced out.
"you alright?" diego turned to her while klaus stuck the middle finger up at hazel and cha cha. 
"i felt someone else.. it was only for a moment but i felt someone.." she spoke solemnly, staring at her shaking hands. "and then five just.. disappeared"
tag list: (if your name is crossed i couldnt tag you) @rxses-and-reverie @lostgreekgod @on-yourmark-99 @bicyhot1 @navs-bhat @midnightmystic @shawkneecaps @baby-bi-bi-bi-yeah @velveticxyyy
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the-bau-quinjet · 3 years
Text
One Misunderstanding
Bucky x Reader
Summary: You struggle to fix Bucky's first impression of you. Bucky struggles with his own feelings.
Warnings: angst, Hydra things- like brainwashing and torture, a few curse words, panic attacks, anxiety
Word count: 5609
a/n: this idea came to me very suddenly, but I'm in love with it. Hopefully whatever I just wrote does it justice.
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"Everyone, meet Y/N. She's the newest member of our little group, bringing in a whole new level of hacking and tech skills. Y/N, meet the team." Tony introduced you to everyone, eager to share your skills.
You turned to the group, getting ready to introduce yourself further, but instead tripped. You shrieked as you fell down the small set of stairs you were at the top of.
Sam, being the closest, caught you. "Good thing you've got tech skills." He chuckled as you righted yourself, firmly planting your feet on the ground.
"Haha, yeah. I'm not a big fan of violence." You winced as you said it, wishing you could take it back. You didn't want to get into the reasons as to why you don't like violence.
To your surprise, nobody asked why. You would have guessed they would have questions, but maybe they weren't interested in your past. They all had their own issues to deal with afterall.
"Eh, we don't need anymore people for fighting anyway. Welcome to the team." Steve greeted you warmly, as you would have expected from America's golden boy.
You gratefully shook his hand, glad to not have to talk about anything yet. Unfortunately, you tripped again when you tried to move back, falling into the one and only Bucky Barnes.
His hands steadied you, dryly laughing at your clumsiness. "You really are clumsy."
You did you best to not show how embarrassed you were. You couldn't deny the claim. Unless you were fighting, something you vowed to yourself to never do again, you were clumsy.
Being abducted and tortured by Hydra may have made you a competent fighter, but your aptitude for tripping over nothing never left.
"Right, sorry!" You greeted everyone else quickly, eager to get situated in your room. "I'm just going to unpack everything." You waved as you backed out of the room, bumping into the wall as you left.
-
You had just finished putting away your stuff when you heard a knock on your door.
"Come in!" You figured someone would have questions for you.
Unsurprisingly, Natasha was the one to step into your room. Of everyone there, you expected her to have learned about your past. It comes with the territory of being a spy.
"Hi, I was hoping to talk to you." Her tone was friendly, but clearly she was skeptical of you. Again, you weren't surprised.
"I thought you might. I'm assuming you read my file? Honestly, I thought everyone would." You laughed gently, shaking your head at yourself.
"I did. Your file is pretty bare bones though. I did some extra digging... Not everyone else is as nosy as me." She grinned, already pleased with your openness. "So, why'd you pretend to be clumsy?"
"Oh, it wasn't pretend. I've always been clumsy. When everything happened, and I learned how to fight, I thought my newfound agility would help. Turns out, it didn't. The only times I'm even the slightest bit coordinated are when I'm fighting or training, but I wasn't lying about that either. When I escaped, I promised myself I wouldn't hurt anyone else."
"Why join the Avengers at all then?" She looked curious, still unsure if she could trust you.
"I wanted to help people. I just didn't want to use the skills they gave me to do it. So, I learned how to code, figured I could help behind the scenes."
She smiled, letting down her guard. Clearly it would take some time, but you could easily see the two of you being close friends.
"So, nobody knows about what you went through?" She couldn't help but be curious about your past.
"Nope. I don't talk about it much, but it's not a secret. I'll answer anything you want to know." You smiled, eager to try and make a real friend here.
You spent the next few hours answering every question Natasha could think of. You told her about being abducted and experimented on.
That lead to even more questions, basically boiling down to the fact that you're not a super soldier, but you do have enhanced senses- and seemingly enhanced clumsiness for when you're not using them.
You told her about learning how to fight, and the punishments you would endure if you got it wrong. The two of you bonded over the shared experience.
Finally, you told her about how you escaped. When the Winter Soldier escaped, every Hydra effort possible was made to find him. That included you. Resources were spread thin, trying to cover more areas. It was the perfect opportunity for you to get out.
"Really, I owe my freedom to him. Even if he doesn't know anything about me." You felt the tears in your eyes, too many emotions swirling through you to keep it all in anymore. "Since then, I've learned everything I could about technology and coding, which pretty much brings you up to date."
Before she could ask anymore questions, there was another knock on your door. Quickly wiping the tears from your eyes, you called another "come in!"
Steve poked his head in the door, cautiously looking between you and Nat.
"I've been sent to stop the interrogation." He grinned, stepping farther into the room.
Nat rose from her spot on the bed, kissing him on the cheek while rolling her eyes. "It wasn't an interrogation. We were bonding."
"Yeah, over what?" He chuckled, trying to figure out what the two of you had in common.
Maybe it was the look in your eyes, or maybe Nat just likes knowing more than everyone, but she smiled conspiratorially at you before responding. "Girl stuff, babe. Just girl stuff."
You smiled as the couple left the room, grateful for not having to explain everything again.
-
Over the next few weeks, the team constantly teased you for your clumsiness. Well, not the whole team. Nat knew the truth, so she never said anything. Peter never teased you either, although that is likely due to the teasing he endures as well.
Weirdly enough, you bonded with the kid over it, eventually telling him about your past as well.
Normally you could shake it off. They clearly didn't mean anything by it. Except Bucky.
Whenever he said anything, he stared you down. His eyes felt like they were piercing your soul. You're not sure exactly why, but he didn't seem to like you much.
Which wouldn't be an issue if you didn't have an embarrassing crush on the man.
Really your infatuation started when you first escaped Hydra. His own escape lead to your freedom, so you admired him. When you found out he was working with the Avengers to help people, you admired him even more.
Watching him on missions is really what caused the infatuation to blossom into a full blown crush.
You, however, would adamantly deny that if anyone ever asked. Which is what just happened.
"What?!" You nearly tripped, again, with how quickly you turned to look at Wanda and Nat.
"You heard me." Nat stared at you, a neutral expression on her face. "When are you going to do something about your crush on Barnes."
"I, I don't- I don't have a crush on Bucky." You stuttered, a lackluster job at denying the truth.
"Please, Y/N. It's so obvious!" Wanda joined in.
The three of you hung out a lot around the compound. It was nice to have a support system to lean on when things got hard.
"Well, even if I did, which I'm not saying I do! He doesn't like me. I don't know what I did, but his eyes feel like daggers whenever we're in the same room." You started out strong, but quickly morphed into a sad resignation. It genuinely upset you that Bucky didn't like you.
"I think I might know what that's about..." Wanda bit her lip, immediately feeling guilty at having said anything.
"What!?" You eagerly turned to her, needing answers. You shuffled your way across the room, never fully rising from your seat on the ground.
"I don't know if I should tell you! I'm not even supposed to know, but sometimes his thoughts are really loud!" Her guilt multiplied.
"You have to tell me now! Then I can fix it!" You were practically begging at her feet from your position on the floor.
She looked at Nat, who just shrugged in return. "Not my place, although I would love to hear it."
"Ugh, fine. But you can't tell anyone I told you!" Wanda glared at the two of you, unable to say no to your pouting face. "The first day we all met you, do you remember what you said?"
Your face scrunched as you tried to remember. "I'm not a big fan of violence?"
She nodded, looking at you as if she just told you everything.
"So?" You asked incredulously, unable to follow her train of thought.
She rolled her eyes, having to spell it out for you. "He kind of took that personally..."
Immediately, you sunk completely to the floor. "Oh, god. Fuck! That's not what I meant at all! I just meant I don't personally like using violence! Shit, shit, shit." You continued to mutter to yourself as Nat and Wanda shared a look.
"Why don't you like using violence?" Wanda asked, intrigued by your reaction.
You thought back to your conversation with Nat the first day you got here. You told her it wasn't a secret, it just wasn't something you brought up.
"Can you just look in my head? I don't really wanna explain it, but I want you to know." You asked, glad to share you past with another friend.
Wanda nodded, seemingly doing nothing until realization dawned on her.
"Oh shit." She whispered, not even realizing she said it out loud.
"Yeah." You huffed out a dry laugh.
"Y/N... I'm so sorry." You smiled at her, having worked through most of the trauma already. "You totally have a crush on Barnes though."
That earned a real laugh. "Hey, that's not what you were in there for!"
"It's not my fault! You were thinking it really loudly!"
The three of you laughed together until you sunk back into a pit of despair.
"What do I do? How do I fix this?" You whined, laying back on the ground like a child.
"I think you just need to talk to him. Explain what you meant." Wanda shrugged, unsure of any other advice to offer you.
"She's right. Just talk to him." Nat nodded along as you whined on the floor.
-
After a few days, you finally worked up enough courage to try and talk to Bucky. He had just finished training, so you knew exactly where he'd be: in the kitchen.
Walking in, you were glad to see him pulling ingredients from the fridge.
"Hey Bucky, can I, um, talk to you for a minute?" You stuttered through the words, nervous about what he would say.
He barely looked at you, nodding his head for you to continue.
"I just, I wanted to apologize." You trailed off when his head snapped up.
"For what?" Well shit. How are you supposed to explain this one without ratting out Wanda.
"Oh, well, um... I just thought maybe I said- I did something that upset you. Uh, you just don't seem to like me very much, which is totally cool, you don't have to like me if you don't want to. I just didn't want it to be my fault... Fuck." That went horribly. Taking a deep breath, you started over. "I didn't mean it."
Bucky is looking at you like you have three heads. "Didn't mean what?"
"That I don't like violence."
"So you do... like violence." He'd somehow grown more confused.
"Well, no." You paused, unsure of how to explain yourself.
"Then you did mean it." His soul piercing stare is back.
"I-"
"It's fine, save it. Some people get to choose not to be violent." And with that, he left the kitchen, abandoning his post workout smoothie.
You stared at the doorway, in shock over how poorly that went. You stood there , unaware of the 25 minutes that had passed, trying to figure out how it could've gone better when Steve found you.
"Y/N? What are you doing?"
You didn't hear him, too lost in the memories. Memories of Hydra, forcing you to do things you never wanted to. This happened from time to time if something triggered you into remembering, otherwise you had a handle on your emotions.
"Y/N?" Steve said your name again, concern evident in his voice. He gently laid a hand on your shoulder, trying to get your attention.
Everything happened so fast after that. The feeling of someone's hand on your shoulder caused you to panic. With all the memories of Hydra in your head, your training kicked in instinctually.
You grabbed Steve's arm, pulling him closer to you for better leverage. Before he could question your moves, you flipped him, pinning him to the ground.
The second you made eye contact, you realized what just happened. Horror and regret flashed in your eyes.
In an effort to get off him, you threw yourself backward, knocking into a cart full of pots and pans. The clanging of metal hitting the ground echoed through the small room.
Steve sat up slowly, trying to register the turn of events. You sat in a ball on the floor, tears pooling in your eyes, mumbling apologies over and over again.
Sam, having heard the commotion from the pots and pans, ran into the kitchen ready to fight.
"What- What happened?" He asked in confusion, lowering his arms from their defensive position.
"I don't know." Steve looked at you, still trying to figure it out.
"Y/N?" Sam's voice was gentle, but it still startled you.
You jumped from the ground, rushing to help Steve get up. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to. I never wanted to hurt anyone again." Your breathing was picking up, short bursts of air leaving your lungs. Your hands were shaking as you pulled him from the ground.
Your panic increased as you took in their concerned expressions.
"Hey, look at me." Steve's Captain voice, came out, urging you to make eye contact. You followed orders, breathing rapidly, your whole body shaking.
"I'm going to touch you now, is that okay?" His words were gentle, but commanding, causing you to nod in response.
He pulled you into a tight hug, rubbing soothing circles on your back.
You wanted to explain, to tell them what happened, but all that came out was a pitiful "Bucky".
"Do you want me to get Bucky?" Sam asked, trying to understand you.
The idea of Bucky coming back caused your panic to increase. You shook your head rapidly, "No! No no no no no." You kept repeating the word, shaking in Steve's arms.
"Okay! Okay, no Bucky." Sam reassured you, voice calm and soothing.
You’re not sure how long you stood like that. Sam moved around the kitchen, cleaning up the pots and pans you had knocked over.
When your breathing steadied, Steve asked, "Do you want to talk about what happened?"
You nodded, leading the two men to the couch in the adjacent common area. You sat for a minute, unsure of where to start.
"Why don't you just lead us through it all?" Steve suggested, still rubbing your back.
You nodded, grateful for the starting point. "I went to the kitchen to apologize to Bucky."
"What for?" Sam interrupted, already confused.
"Sam! Just let her talk." Steve muttered, slightly annoyed.
"Sorry!" He glared back at Steve before turning to you, "Sorry, please continue."
You couldn't help but laugh at their banter.
"Right, I wanted to apologize for what I said the first day I met you all. I realized how it sounded, so I wanted to try and fix it." You paused, waiting for the recognition to hit them.
It didn't take long. The two men nodded, silently urging you to continue.
"Honestly, Wanda told me that was why he always seems mad at me. You have to know, I never meant for it to come across that way! It's more of a personal, 'I don't want to be violent' than shunning others for doing what's necessary." You took a deep breath, not eager to relive the conversation.
"Anyway, I told him I didn't mean it. I just couldn't explain it right, and he got upset, which makes sense!" You turned to look between them, not wanting them to think you were insulting Bucky in any way. "I don't hold what he did against him. It wasn't his choice, and I completely understand that. I just couldn't put that into words when I was talking to him, and I made everything worse."
Tears popped into your eyes again, upset at what he must be going through. You weren't with Hydra for but a tenth of the time he was, and you didn't endure the same level of brainwashing.
"He said something about some people not being able to choose not to be violent, and then he left. I don't know how long I was standing in the kitchen replaying the conversation, but it brought up bad memories for me." You sighed again, working up the nerve to tell them everything.
"Wanda and Nat already know, but I guess it's your guys's turn. This was so much easier to just have Wanda read my mind." You laughed at your own joke, the two men sharing a concerned look.
"I was taken... by Hydra. They experimented on me, gave me enhanced senses, trained me to fight, and punished me when I did something wrong." Again, tears sprung into your eyes, occasionally falling down your cheeks.
"Why wasn't this in your file?" Steve questioned, more to himself than you.
"I haven't got a clue. I guess nobody knew about me? But, I escaped. They didn't brainwash me like they did Bucky, because I don't have the serum. Or, at least, I think that's why." You shook your head, refocusing on the important parts.
"When every available Hydra agent was tasked with searching for the Winter Soldier, I took it as on opportunity. Their resources were spread thin. I was able to getaway."
You went onto explain your reasoning for joining the Avengers as a tech specialist, trying to convey the same earnestness you did with Nat.
"You can ask Nat or Wanda too. Nat found out day one, Wanda a few days ago." You wiped your tears, hoping they believed you. "Actually, Peter knows too."
"I was stuck in all those memories when you came into the kitchen. I didn't even register that you were in the room, so when you touched me I freaked out. I never meant to hurt you!"
You looked at Steve fearful that he would be upset.
"Y/N, I believe you." You cried tears of relief at his statement, genuinely exhausted from the day. "It's not your fault, and you didn't hurt me. Just caught me off guard. You're surprisingly agile when you want to be." He tried to lighten the mood, glad to hear you laugh.
"Well, I train in the middle of the night sometimes. I- I want to be able to get out if I'm ever forced back there." Your voice was quiet, admitting a secret you hadn't even told Nat.
"We won't let that happen." The sternness of Sam's voice surprised you.
"Thank you." You wiped your tears a final time, looking between the two men. "Now, what do I do about Bucky?" You refocused your energy on fixing your relationship with the super soldier.
"He never would have said what he said if he had known." Steve started the conversation, defending his friend.
"I know. I don't hold it against him, I just wish I could explain. I get so nervous when he looks at me like that." You rambled, too tired to filter your thoughts.
"Like what?" Sam asked, eager for more information to tease Bucky with.
"Huh? Oh, I don't know. Like he can see into my soul." You deadpanned, earning a laugh from both men. "I just want him to like me." You nearly whined, upset by your poor relationship.
"Like you, huh?" Steve grinned. Nat and Wanda chose that exact moment to walk into the room, eagerly joining the conversation.
"Barnes? Did you tell him how you feel?" Wanda squealed with excitement.
You buried your head in your hands, avoiding the knowing looks the four of them were surely sharing. "Not exactly." You gestured to your head, hoping Wanda would figure it out and share with Nat.
"Ooh... It didn't go well, basically Barnes got upset, Y/N flipped Steve and had a panic attack, then told these two everything." Wanda explained to Nat quickly, trying not to make you relive it.
"We need a plan." Nat declared.
"No, I just need to learn how to have a conversation with the man." You rolled your eyes at yourself. "I'll try talking to him again." You went to leave the room, turning around to glare at them. "And none of you can say a word of this to Bucky."
-
Despite you request, Steve still tried to talk to Bucky.
"What's up with you?" Steve questioned, trying to subtly pry into Bucky's thoughts.
"Nothing. Why?" Bucky answered in a questioning tone, trying to figure out Steve's motives.
"I heard you talked to Y/N is all. How'd it go?" He gave up on the subtle approach pretty quickly, knowing Bucky wouldn't answer a question that wasn't asked.
"How did you even hear that, punk?" Bucky deflected.
"Not the point. Answer the question."
"Not great. I messed it up." Bucky sighed, annoyed at himself for barging out of the room. "She said wanted to apologize, that she didn't mean what she said." He ran his hands through his hair, struggling to explain where it all went wrong.
"Would've been fine if I could follow what she was saying. She was rambling about me not liking her, which you and I both know isn't true. Ugh, i've never been mad at her. I'm mad at myself! At Hydra for making me a monster! How could she ever like me if she doesn't like violence? My entire past is violent." He huffed, having worked himself up again.
"You're not a monster, Buck." Steve started gently.
"I know you think that." Steve gave him a pointed glare. "I know, okay? But what does she think?"
"Maybe you should try talking to her. You might be surprised by what you learn." Steve clapped him on the shoulder, trying to reassure him, before leaving the room.
-
Everytime you tried to talk to Bucky, something got in the way. The first time, he was called in for an emergency mission before you even got the word hello out.
The second time, Tony walked into the common area, completely oblivious to the tension, and put on a movie.
The third time, Steve and Nat interrupted you. You were just about to apologize again after an awkward greeting when the elevator doors opened. The sounds of the cheerful laughter and stolen kisses didn't really set the mood for confessing your past with Hydra.
The fourth, and final time, was the most embarrassing.
You walked into the room on a mission. You were going to talk to him, no matter who decided to walk in.
"Bucky, I really need to-" and you tripped on a toy Morgan left out, causing you to tumble to the ground. That would have been embarrassing enough, but there's more.
In your effort to get up, you tripped again, hitting your head on the coffee table, causing you to bleed profusely.
"Shit." You cursed yourself, holding your hand up to your bleeding forehead.
"Are you okay?" Bucky rushed to you from the other side of the table, concerned with the amount of blood spewing from your head.
"Yeah, I'll be fine." Unfortunately, you chose that moment to jokingly reference your past.
Some of the people who tortured you had a sick sense of humor. Whenever they would hit you hard enough to make you bleed, they said something about only having one head. A play on words because of the greek serpent with multiple heads.
"Head wounds bleed a lot, I'm lucky I only have one." You froze instantly, unsure if he would have had a similar experience. Slowly, you looked up in an effort to make eye contact.
Bucky was also frozen in place. Clearly he understood the reference.
"Wh- where did you hear that?" Bucky struggled with his sentence, trying not to flashback to his time at Hydra.
"Oh my god. I'm so so sorry." You instantly started apologizing, trying to backtrack. "I really need to learn when to stop fucking talking." You said more to yourself than him.
"Where did you hear it?" He asked again, putting more power behind his words.
"Um, well, i've been trying to tell you for weeks now, but um, I also kind of, have, um, well, you see-"
"Just spit it out." There was the slightly miffed Bucky you were used to.
"I was taken. By Hydra. 9 years ago. Um, they forced me to learn how to fight. Tortured me if I did anything wrong. Forced me to do things..." You trailed off, realizing you didn't need to give him many details. He has first hand experience.
"Y/N, I-" You cut him off before he could say anything else.
"That's why I don't like using violence. I only know how to do that stuff because they made me learn it. I didn't want to use the skills they gave me." You took a deep, grounding breath.
"I don't blame you for anything you were forced to do. It wasn't your choice. You're not a violent person, and your past actions don't define who you are. You're here to help people. That's what you chose. That's who you are."
You made eye contact before you continued. "I've actually wanted to thank you for the longest time."
"For what?" He was incredulous, wildly caught off guard by everything you've said.
"The only reason I had an opportunity to escape was because 2 years ago, you escaped. If Hydra's resources hadn't been spread so thin trying to find you, I probably would've never got out. So thank you. For being strong enough to fight back."
You smiled at him, still unsure of how he was feeling.
"I... I'm so sorry." To say you were stunned was an understatement. What the hell could he have to be sorry about? Sure he was a little rude, but from your point of view he was completely justified in hating you.
"Bucky, you have no reason to be sorry. You didn't know, and I couldn't get out of my head enough to tell you. You just make me nervous." You clapped a hand over your mouth, shocked at having said what you just said.
You could see his face fall ever so slightly, causing you to jump back into your explanation.
"Not because I'm scared of you or anything! Hell, I could probably take you in a fight." You winked, trying to lighten the mood. It seemed to work, judging by the slight smirk on his face.
"I just, I've looked up to you for so long. Your determination to do good after everything you've been through is really inspiring. It's actually why I wanted to join the Avengers in the first place. I never would have-" You would have kept rambling if he hadn't stopped you.
"Y/N, I am sorry, and I do have reason to be. There's no excuse for what I said to you in the kitchen that day. Even if I didn't know, I threw everything you've been through back in your face. If someone had done that to me, I probably would have had a panic attack." He tried joking, but by the way you froze he could tell he struck a nerve.
"You had a panic attack? I'm so sorry! God, I just left you all alone and-"
It was your turn to cut him off. "Actually, I was kind of frozen in place until Steve touched me and I maybe threw him to the ground... Then I had a panic attack..." You smiled, trying to convey the joke. "So, I wasn't alone. Sam was actually also there. If anything, it made me better friends with both of them because I told them everything. So I have you to thank for that to." You playfully nudged his side.
He ran his hands through his hair, then down his face, clearly trying to deal with his own guilt.
"Hey, don't beat yourself up about it. You didn't know. It happened. We're good now, so we can move on." You smiled, trying to cheer him up.
"How are you so relaxed about all of this? You were tortured for years... I..." He was genuinely curious, trying to find a way to cope with his own pain.
"Well, even before that I always thought therapy could be helpful for me, so I really jumped in full force when I was free. Plus, if you can't joke about something, you haven't really moved on. Some days are harder than others, but I just try to appreciate the people I have now and the good experiences I've been lead to." You kept the tone light, trying not to get too emotional.
He just stared at you for a few minutes, making you questions everything.
"I mean, it's totally different for you though! I was only there for 7 years, you were forced into all that for like 10 times as long. I didn't mean to belittle-"
"I think you inspire me just as much as you say I've inspired you." He cut you off again, a small smile growing on your lips.
"Well, in the spirit of our newfound friendship, can I be totally honest?" You bit your lip, nervous about telling him the truth.
He looked nervous as well, but nodded anyway.
"I kind of, maybe, sort of have a crush on you." You watched his expression carefully, although there was really no need. His face easily gave away his surprise.
"You..." He stuttered, moving his fingers between the two of you. "Me? But, I was so mean!"
"What can I say, I saw through the facade... Well, really Wanda accidentally read your mind and told me why you were so upset around me when her and Nat teamed up to get me to tell you how I feel." You rambled again, realization dawning that you accidentally outed Wanda.
"But you can't tell her I told you that! She didn't mean to! She just said you think really loud sometimes and it's hard not to hear it! She did it to me too actually, I mean I told her she could look in my head so I wouldn't have to explain everything again, I know so lazy, and that's how she confirmed my crush on you." You said it all with wide eyes at a rapid speed, unable to control yourself around Bucky.
You slapped your hands over your mouth, forcing yourself to stop talking. Bucky looked on in amusement, slowly reaching to pull your hands away from your face.
"I won't tell her, if you get dinner with me tonight." He smiled cheekily, relishing in your blush.
"That's a deal I'm willing to make." You reached your arms around his neck, kissing his cheek before running to get ready.
***
Bonus:
Sam whined playfully as he looked at the high scores. "Whose username is 'God is a spoon' and how did they get so good at this game?"
He looked around the room, eying any suspicious candidates. Everyone denied it, throwing out accusations left and right.
It was another of Tony's team bonding nights and he chose VR games on the oculus. Obviously, Beat Saber was a top contender amongst the group.
You walked in with Bucky, unaware of the conversation going on, but immediately joining it.
"Peter! I bet it was him!" You playfully nudged the younger Avenger, having formed a close friendship in the early days. "What am I betting on?" Everyone laughed, happy to see you in a good mood after being so stressed for so long.
"Whose username is 'God is a spoon'." Sam chuckled after filling you in. You and Bucky settled on the couch, cuddling next to each other.
"Oh, that's me. Why?" You looked around curiously, trying to figure out what they wanted. "Is it a weird username? It was actually one of the catchphrase things in Just Dance on the switch, I didn't just think of it." You tried to justify yourself, causing more laughter.
"You?! How did you get all the highscores on this game? I thought you were the clumsy one."
You made an exaggerated face to show how offended you were, playfully swatting at Sam.
"I'll have you know, 7 years of Hydra 'training' and experimentation has its perks." You joked with the room. "One of them being I can beat your ass at pretty much any video game."
"Oh, you're so on." Sam smiled, glad he could joke around with you about it.
Meanwhile, Tony looked incredulously around the room, being the only one in the room who hadn't heard about your history, he was rightfully confused.
"I'm sorry, 7 years of WHAT?"
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aimee-pisces · 2 years
Text
Redacted Asmr Aftershock Thoughts (Inversion Spoilers)
I wanted to write out some of my predictions / thoughts about the aftershock, and what will happen next. No clue if they’ll be accurate, (or coherent) but we’ll see lol :)
David
-For his audio, I’m really interested to see how he’ll explain things to Angel
-I know Milo tried to explain what happened, but it’ll be interesting to see if David explains his reasons for putting the ward up to Angel
-He’s gonna have a lot of guilt, even though people would’ve gotten hurt whether he made that call to put the ward up or not
-Maybe a bit of survivors guilt?
-Mainly, it’ll be interesting to see what he thinks if / when he finds out that Milo was the one who brought the ward down
Damien and Lasko
-Ok I’m not sure about this one, but I feel like they’re gonna talk about Kody
-For one, Kody’s playlist says “completed”
-Also, Damien and Lasko were the two main characters to interact with Kody sometime around the inversion
-The way that Kody was making fun of Lasko was awful, and also what he did to the others inside the ward. I’m glad that Damien tried to fight him 😤
-It’s really sweet to see that Damien and Lasko get along a lot more now. Lasko doesn’t seem scared of Damien at all, it’s so cute to see how much they’ve both grown!
Asher
-Really not sure what his will be tbh
-Maybe dealing with the after effects of that much healing? Like being tired and stuff??
-I’ve seen some people (not sure who, but if that was you lmk and I can tag you) make theories that Ash would’ve seen the river, or even Brachium if he got that close to dying
-I don’t personally think that’ll happen, but it would be cool!
Huxley and Gavin
-This one’s gonna hurt
-They’re gonna talk about Xavier 😭
-Gavin might blame himself for not being able to protect him
-Hux is gonna be so heartbroken… I’m not ready y’all
-I don’t think that Hux would be the type to blame others though, so hopefully him and Gavin will take care of each other <3
Milo
-Ngl I’m very worried for his audio
-It’ll be super interesting to see how all that magic will affect him, good or bad
-Will it impact his ability to shift?
-Milo also says something about his threads being strong (I think), so I’m really hoping that this won’t “slice” them (like what happened to others in the imperium)
-And he kinda defied David’s orders by trying to get the ward down, so if the pack finds out that would probably cause some issues. Then again, it also saved their lives so idk
-I’m just really hoping that he doesn’t get caught by the department
Vincent
-Out of all the audios, I think I’m looking forward to this one the most
-We’re hopefully gonna learn more about what it’s like for someone to be tuned into a vampire
-I wonder how that’ll impact Lovely’s electro energetic powers, since their core will be different
-At the same time though, it seems like they didn’t have very long to get used to their powers. So idk how they’ll feel about that aspect. A blessing and a curse I guess?
-Also does this mean that Vincent can’t bite them anymore?
-I think I’m starting to see why this months Patreon audio was Imperium Vincent lol
-Since the stuff with Bright Eyes and Fredrick isn’t on the channel anymore, it makes sense that we’ll have a different story that goes through what being turned is like
-It’s also interesting that all the maker-progeny relationships are pretty different
-Like Will and Vincent are kinda like father and son, but Vincent and Lovely are a couple, and Alexis and Sam are a whole different story lol
-I feel like the power imbalance might make things kinda weird between Lovely and Vincent, and the whole not being able to lie to him thing
-But I know that those two are good with communicating, so I think that they’ll be ok
-And them being extra aware of each others feelings will be something worth exploring, either in this audio or in the future
-I haven’t listed to the vampire audios that much, so I’m probably forgetting a lot
Anyways those are my thoughts and predictions, feel free to reply with yours!
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Note
Hey. Can I request bucky barnes x male reader where the reader gets injured on a mission and bucky freaks out about it with the “Oh shit, is it that bad? Am I gonna die?” prompt. And can they already be in a relationship. Thank you
This was a good request, thanks.
That said, why is it harder to write something if there is more information???
This one didn't give me an immediate idea to follow through on, but I think it turned out alright.
Let me know if this wasn't quite what you wanted and I will be happy to have another go.
Stealth Mission
Bucky Barnes x Male Reader
Word Count: 1611
-----------------
The mission was supposed to be a stealth one. It was meant to be simple, sneak in, steal some information, sneak back out with no-one any the wiser for it.
Funny how the universe likes to laugh at people who make plans.
You roll your eyes at your thoughts as you gather your breath, and your courage. You were pinned behind a series of crates in what was clearly some sort of storage area. The bullets stop flying in your direction for a second. It sounds like the Hydra guys were reloading.
You leap out and unleash a hail of bullets at the men standing by the door. To your unending relief there are only two, both of whom were reloading. Thank God for sloppy trade craft. It takes a depressingly little amount of time to down them after that.
'Two down, one whole compound to go,' you think sarcastically to yourself.
"Hey, anyone out there still?" You put a shaking hand up to your earpiece. You had never been so thankful to hear Steve's voice before.
You tapped your comm to activate it.
"Yeah, I'm in some sort of storage area inside. No idea how many are left outside. Things aren't looking great from here."
You hear Steve sigh into his own comm.
"Y/N, Thank God. Buck would'a killed me if you'd gone down out here."
"Come on Steve, you know that's between me and Barnes."
You smirk to yourself and picture Steve's face at your comment. You don't normally tease the conservative man but it helped to steady your nerves the moment.
"Alright, I'm gonna head out of here, see if I can still salvage this mission. Let me know if anyone else responds."
Caps affirmative is ringing in your ears as you pull yourself back together. You still had a job to do here, there wasn't anything else for it.
You crept closer to the only exit in the room. Your heart was pounding too loud in your ears. This was annoying but adrenaline was running high after you were surprised earlier.
Luckily the hall was empty. It seemed that the other Hydra agents were a bit preoccupied somewhere else.
'Hopefully that means that someone else is still kicking. My bet's on Nat.'
It doesn't take long to find the right room this time. You internally promise yourself to pay more attention to blueprints next time, as you make your way into the room and over to one of the computers.
You were grateful once again that you had started out your illustrious career as a hacker. A few not so minor indiscretions had landed you in some pretty hot water before you hacked into the wrong server and caught shield's attention. Several years and some serious spy training later, here you were.
Your comm crackled as you tapped away at the keys of the computer. You put your hand back up to your comm and listened as Steve relayed that everyone else had checked back in with him.
You breathed a sigh of relief. Everyone was still alright.
"Roger that, I'm almost done here, I'll meet back out front--"
You cut off with a gasped cry of pain. You hadn't noticed the person slip in through the broken window while listening to Steve talk. You had completely missed them as they moved over on silent feet. In fact, you only noticed them as they slipped a dagger in between two of your ribs.
Distantly you could hear Steve calling out to you through your comm, but you were just a little distracted by the searing pain in your side.
You could tell immediately that whoever this person was, they didn't want to kill you outright. With how silent they were coming in and how preoccupied you had been, they had had the opportunity to slit your throat. They hadn't, which was pretty telling.
If you didn't get out of here soon you would either end up as a hostage to make the others give themselves up, or you would be tortured for information.
Not great odds then.
Using the opposite side's arm you managed to elbow them in the face. Their nose made the most satisfying crunch as it broke.
You spun and took advantage of their surprise to kick them back toward the broken window. Seeing the best chance at getting out of this situation alive, you didn't hesitate to give them a second harder kick to the chest. They went out flailing for anything to hold onto.
There was a yell and a loud thud as they hit the ground some several floors below.
You held your breath as you limped your way over there. You had to be sure that they weren't still a danger.
Yep, there they were, laid out on the ground, limbs at awkward angles that would be bad if it weren't for the large puddle of blood forming under them.
You let out your breath in a rush.
There was a ringing in your ears that was not great, and the world seemed to be spinning. You stumbled back over to the desk and the computer.
You grabbed the piece of tech that you had been loading the information onto and made your way heavily out of the room.
Something made you look up. You were glad that you did, Steve was coming toward you but there was something wrong with him. He was opening and closing his mouth like he was trying to talk, but nothing was coming out.
You squint at him in confusion, but you didn't have to worry about it for long. The darkness descends just as he reaches you and you know nothing more.
----------------
Bucky Barnes was not someone who was known for showing a lot of emotions. Not anymore anyway. He was slowly getting better, but it was just too easy to stay emotionally frozen.
He had been that way for literally years, and it had taken meeting one of the agents at shield to really start to shake him out of it. The Y/H/C haired man had quickly wormed his way into Bucky's frozen heart and refused to leave.
Naturally, having grown up in the 1920's and 30's, Bucky had known he shouldn't want this man the way he did. However, he had lived in Brooklyn, arguably the Gay Capital of the World at the time.
The only way he wouldn't have had at least one experience back then was if he was as oblivious as Steve had been.
In any case it hadn't taken him long to know that he had to ask you out. Getting up the courage had been the difficult thing. You had surprised him by showing up earlier the same day with a box and asked to talk to him alone.
You had put the box on his bed and said that you had wanted to ask him out for a while now, and only just gotten up the courage. The box was a gift which was his whether he wanted to go out with you or not.
Bucky had known that that was the best chance he would ever have, but was curious. He had opened the box to find a big fluffy sweater and fluffy reading socks. He had melted. You were literally the best person in the world - sorry Steve.
Bucky was decidedly not emotionless now however.
You had been brought in from your latest mission unconscious, and had to be rushed to the medical wing Tony kept in his huge tower.
(A/N Yes, we are pretending that they are all friends)
Objectively Bucky was sure that you would be fine, but he couldn't help but worry. You had never looked so small, lying there with soot from who knew what on your face and blood covering a large portion of your shield issued clothing.
Bucky was doing his best not to annoy the medical staff while he waited for you to wake up, but it hadn't worked at all. He had been banished from the area until you were awake to deal with him.
So now he was annoying everyone else.
"Shit Steve, is he going to be okay? Is he going to die? Oh God, what if he dies?"
Poor Bucky was in tears and pacing up and down the communal living space as he waited for news.
Even Sam had the good sense not to provoke Bucky right now.
Apparently Natasha didn't get the memo though.
"Barnes. He's a trained agent. This is a part of the job. Grow a pair and wait for news before writing him off entirely. Besides, Y/N's a fighter, he won't give up like this. He knows you're waiting for him. He won't let you down."
Bucky stared at her, shocked. Nat was notoriously few of words. That was practically a monologue from her.
"Good," she nodded, satisfied that she had gotten through to him. "If you can't calm down and wait for news like a normal person, why don't you go find Clint and stuff him into a vent to find out what's going on in real time."
With that Natasha floated over to the couch and flipped the TV onto her latest binge show.
Steve watched as Bucky stood in shock for a minute longer, before bolting out of the room, most likely in search of their team archer.
"That was mean. He's not even going to be able to explain what he wants properly with how out of it he is right now."
Nat looked over her shoulder at Steve with a smirk.
"Just a little revenge that I owed Clint."
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makeste · 3 years
Text
regarding Best Jeanist, Dabi, and all of that
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@kaleswagdragon​ I hope you don’t mind me posting this comment and my response as its own post, seeing as it quickly got out of hand and sort of morphed into a whole entire essay.
anyway, so! you say that it’s a mischaracterization, but it’s really not, though. I mean, props for bringing up the cultural context of Japan, in which the honne-tatemae culture of covering up anything that might lead to any sort of conflict -- even if it means harming an innocent victim in the process -- is a very real issue. so given that, I understand why so many people are interpreting Jeanist’s statement in a “how dare you bring this family shame to light” sort of way. and Caleb’s “dirty laundry” translation doesn’t help, given the “we’re more embarrassed than actually concerned about this” feel of that particular phrase, which he apparently chose just because of the clothing pun without really giving much thought to any other implications.
but in the actual Japanese, the meaning/context is somewhat different. here’s a link to a twitter thread clarifying the original spoiler translation, and breaking down the actual Japanese dialogue.
I think the meaning here is very clearly “you waited until the public’s faith in heroes was already wavering to bring this down on them as a final blow.” if he was simply criticizing Dabi for publicizing the Todoroki family drama, he would have stopped with that first sentence. the two sentences afterward (“you waited until everyone’s faith in heroes was wavering, when the damage would be too great to handle”) make it clear that what he’s actually calling Dabi out for is the way that he basically weaponizes his story into the perfect political tool to finally take down the heroes. which is an observation that we as the readers can verify for ourselves as being true. look at how he so carefully edited the footage of Twice’s death. look at the contrast between the way he acts in the video, compared with the homicidal glee we see from the actual Dabi in real time.
Jeanist is notably the only one who is able to get the same perspective as the readers here, since he’s the only person who’s physically present in Jakku with the real Dabi, but is also able to hear the video being broadcast. meaning that he’s able to hear both video!Dabi’s calm, prerecorded “I’m just a concerned citizen trying to look out for a society being taken advantage of by the ones charged with protecting it” speech, and actual!Dabi’s “hahaha fuck you Endeavor I’m bringing the whole country down even as we speak, well anyway time to kill you all” reality. he alone can see that stark contrast between the concerned whistleblower act Dabi is putting onscreen, versus his true attitude of “I don’t actually give a fuck, I just want to eradicate the heroes and make my dad suffer.” basically, Jeanist is the only one who can see that juxtaposition, and see Dabi’s reveal for what it really is, seeing as Dabi literally spelled it out for Endeavor and the others. and so he’s calling him out on that.
and he’s not wrong to do so. it’s clear that a lot of fans vehemently disagree with this, but being an abuse survivor doesn’t excuse you from having the same obligation as every other human being on the planet to try your best to be a decent person, which at minimum means not going out of your way to hurt other people. I say this as someone who’s experienced abuse, which shouldn’t need to be a disclaimer honestly, but I guess that’s how it is these days. anyways, though, I have, and I know a lot of other people who have as well. it’s a terrible, awful, exceptionally shitty thing to experience, and it affects everyone in different ways. and every single person who goes through something like that deserves help and support and time to heal, and it’s a tragedy and an injustice that Dabi, from what we have seen, never got any of that.
but that doesn’t excuse him from still being held to the same basic standard of “hurting other people is shitty” as everyone else. it doesn’t mean he gets a free pass. it doesn’t mean that anyone who says “hey, Dabi using his trauma as an excuse to murder people is kind of fucked up” is an abuse apologist. and it doesn’t mean Horikoshi is an abuse apologist for writing him that way, for that matter, because guess what? sometimes people who are abused grow up to become abusers. that’s just a fucked-up thing that happens sometimes. and pretending like it doesn’t is ironically not all that different from that whole “sweeping things under the rug” concept you mentioned earlier. it does happen, and I think it’s important to acknowledge that, because acknowledging it is one of the necessary steps to take in fixing it.
this attitude of “if someone was abused they should be absolved of responsibility for their actions” that I’ve seen in some posts is taking the concept of “abuse often has a profound impact on people’s mental health, and that should be taken into consideration before judging them too harshly for behavior that they can’t always necessarily control”, and twisting it into this nice little loophole that people can use to duck accountability whenever it’s convenient. but being abused doesn’t give you the right to abuse other people, is my point. nothing gives somebody the right to do that.
and Dabi is hurting other people. he waited ten years to tell his story specifically because he wanted to use it to make others suffer. and, putting aside the part where he’s trying to engineer the downfall of society as a precursor to the mass destruction he and his pals have planned, he also broadcast the story nationwide without the consent of the other abused parties involved. which I’m not saying he didn’t have the right to do, mind you, because it’s his story as well as theirs, and he has the right to tell it. and the right to make his abuser’s crimes as public as he wants, if that’s what he decides. but it also ignores the question of what his mother and siblings might want, and the fact is that they’re also survivors, and so in theory should have the same right as Dabi to choose their own healing process, and decide exactly how they want their abuser, who like so many abusers is also a close family member, to be held accountable. anyway, but all of that is obviously very, very complicated and I don’t think there’s a clear right or wrong side as far as this part of it all. it’s not a situation where everyone can be happy, which unfortunately is often how it goes.
anyway, I’ve kind of meandered pretty far from my original point now, so my bad. my points are, basically,
(a) I think the linked explanation does show that Jeanist is chiding Dabi for using his trauma in this specifically scheming and destructive way, as opposed to saying “shame on you for not being a good little victim and staying quiet”, which would be a ridiculous thing for Horikoshi, who’s explored the topic of abuse more thoughtfully than any other mangaka I’ve read, to randomly have one of his protagonists say.
and (b) the people calling Dabi out on his shit aren’t all smug victim-blamers who have no sympathy for what he has been through. the latter point (and a lot of this post, actually) isn’t particularly directed at you btw; it’s more of just a general statement brought on by some of the discussion that’s been going on these past few days.
anyways, I actually like that the fandom is talking about all of this! I just think it’s a very complex subject, and an even more complex situation currently in the manga. and ideally, people would try to acknowledge that complexity when discussing it, rather than simply picking a side and doubling down on it no matter what, or shooting down the whole thing as problematic writing just because isn’t a neat and tidy situation where you can simply say “oh, person A is right and person B is wrong, that’s it, end of story.” it’s not, unfortunately. it’s a messy clusterfuck of a topic that’s only going to get messier as this plot continues, so hopefully we can all just sort of brace ourselves for that lol. this is really just the tip of the iceberg, I think.
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belphies-cuhm-sluht · 3 years
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hello! can I please request an angst fic with Satan losing control and getting angry at the MC because they made a deal with someone and is willing to give up their life just to bring Lilith back for the brothers? and yes Satan is in love but he just didn't tell them yet! thank you so much for opening requests, can't tell you how much I adore your writings <3
Not Your Choice To Make (Satan x GN!MC Angst) 
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What had he done to deserve you? What had any of his brothers done to deserve someone like you? You were caring, always so happy, and you were selfless. So, so selfless. As if any of them deserved a person like you in their lives, and he knew that the answer was no. You were the kind of human who’s name went on the reservation list to Heaven as soon as you were born. Apparently the big man upstairs had a plan for everyone, and your plan had been set in motion the day that you were brought into the world. Had God known what you were going to do though? Did he know that you would end up down here? If so, why would he allow it? What kind of God was he to allow you to be brought into such a horrid place, the worst place, biblically speaking? It didn’t make sense, and now… now everything was messed up because you were good… you were too good. You should have never been brought here. 
He had never even met his sister, but he knows that his brothers adored her, they loved her, and they missed her dearly, especially Beelzebub and Belphegor. Even with all that, it wasn’t your problem to fix, it wasn’t your problem to solve. Every single one of them loved Lilith, but every single one of them loved you as well, some more than others, although he’d never be able to tell you. “What do you mean you made a deal with someone to bring her back? Y/N, that is… that is the stupidest thing… Do you even remember who you talked to?” He was trying to stay calm, he really was, but this situation alone had him filled with rage, and his Avatar had nothing to do with it at all. How could you do something like that? To them… to him? It was so selfishly selfless, so careless. “Satan… I was just trying to do the right thing. I know how much everyone misses her and-” His head was shaking so fast, his hands balled up into tight fists as he tried to get your words out of his head. 
“Everyone? Everyone misses her… you’re right. But do you have even the slightest inkingly of an idea how much we’d miss you? Losing you would be like losing her all over again to them.” Losing you would be the worst thing to ever happen to himself though. He’s never gone through loss, he’s never experienced the pain that comes along with it. That’s why he has to fix this as soon as possible. “Please calm down… the guy said that-” He let out a low growl, holding his hand up to silence you. He didn’t want to hear what the guy said, he just wanted this problem fixed. He wanted it solved, and as much as he hated to do it, he went to the only other person in the entire Devildom who could possibly help him. 
The doors to Lucifer’s office were almost thrown off the hinges when Satan burst through them, pulling you along behind him. “Yes, Satan? If this is about something Mammon did, I don’t have-” Satan didn’t appreciate it, the way that Lucifer refused to even look up from his stupid paperwork to aknowledge him. He wouldn’t be bursting through the doors if it was a Mammon problem, hell, at this point he even wished it was a Mammon problem so he could handle it himself. “It’s not Mammon. It’s Y/N.” That got his attention real quick, his head snapping up from his desk to look at you, the way you stood behind Satan shyly, almost embarrassed… what could have happened? You didn’t look harmed, you didn’t look scared, even with the way that Satan was acting. “What’s wrong?” 
You didn’t want to reiterate the story, it would just take too long, and Satan actually agreed. There was no time to waste, and your reasoning, in his eyes, and hopefully in his brothers eyes as well didn’t justify your actions, as nice as they may have been. “She made a deal… with some guy that she doesn’t even know the name of… to bring Lilith back…” It was hard for him to even get the words out, they were upsetting, and they pissed him off. What you did pissed him off more than anything, but not because he was actually mad at you… he was mad at himself for letting you out of his sight long enough to even let something like this happen. Lucifer’s eyes were wide as he stared at you, his adams apple bobbed in his throat as he swallowed hard, trying to let what Satan had told him sink in. “To bring… she can’t come back anyway… no one can bring her back. She’s… she’s dead. She’s been dead. Everyone knows that.” Everyone should know that. Of course, you didn’t… you didn’t know that at all, or else you wouldn’t have made a deal with the random demon in the first place. “Wh-What did you offer… to this demon, if I may ask.” Lucifer wasn’t the kind of guy to stutter, he never got tripped up on his words, but now he felt like he was on a race against time to get to the bottom of this, to sort all of this out. He needed to know every single detail, and this is the part that got Satan’s attention as well. He hadn’t heard about the actual… transaction, if you can call it that. He had only heard about why you did it. 
“I offered.. My uh… my soul… my life…” The tension is the room was palpable, but so thick. The growl that had come out of Satan earlier was nothing compared to this. His Avatar was in full play now, his rage spurred on by this tornado of emotions that his body just couldn’t handle. How could anyone be able to handle this? “Oh no…” Was all Lucifer had to say as he fell back in his chair, dropping his face into his hands as he shook his head. That didn’t seem to help though, not at all. The next thing you knew, Satan was storming out of the office and up the stairs into his room, slamming his door shut, the force behind it was enough to rattle the pictures on the walls downstairs. “I just thought I could bring her back… I didn’t know…” 
The books that were stacked up on his floor were all kicked over, scattered across the room as he broke down. “This is why humans don’t belong here… Y/N doesn’t belong here… never did.” But he knows that his life without you having come in it would have been dull, boring and depressing. He loved you, he loves you… but what’s the point in all of that now? What’s the point in having feelings for you, of ever having feelings for you? It wasn’t fair, not to you, not to him, and not to his brothers. “Wasn’t their choice to make…” He was mumbling to himself now as he fell back onto his bed, his hands covering his face, hoping that nobody would come into his room, but if they did, he would have time to wipe the stray tears that trickled down the corners of his eyes. There was no way to undo this, the deal had already been made. Even if they killed the guy, he would just end up back in Hell, and he would inevitably come at some point to retrieve your soul. You wouldn’t end up back in the Devildom though, you’d spend what would feel like forever in Purgatory, or stuck in limbo until the big man up in the clouds made a final decision on where you belong. 
“Maybe if we just find him-” You were still down in Lucifer's office, trying to find ways to fix this, to make it all just go away. Every suggestion was turned down, and you didn’t know whether he was just becoming irritated with your list of “possible solutions” or if he was just exhausted. This whole thing was draining, because at the end of it all, Lucifer himself knew that there was nothing he could do to solve the problem at hand. “You don’t understand, Y/N. Demons aren’t simple, you must already know that much. They’re malicious and mischievous. They’ll do anything to make a deal, especially with someone as pure hearted as you are. Every demon down here knows about Lilith, and every single one of them already knows she can’t be brought back. Whoever he was, he took advantage of your kindness, and there is nothing that can be done about it. I’m sorry.” He shook his head, hating that he had to lay it out to you like that, but you needed to know. You were always so hopeful, that’s what got you stuck in this predicament in the first place, but there was no hope to be had, not anymore. 
“Well… can’t we just get Lord Diavolo to find the guy…? Can’t he do something?” It was obvious that you were trying to hold back from crying because, like any normal person, you were terrified of dying, as you should be. This is why you don’t just run around the Devildom making deals with any random demon. Hell, you could have gone to one of them and asked, and they would have told you that what you were asking for is impossible. “No. I’ve already thought of that. It would spark issues, and our Lord wouldn’t want those kinds of issues to fall on his shoulders. Taking a deal away from a demon for one measly human, no offense… it would piss a whole lot of them off. I’m sorry.” He pushed himself up and away from his desk, walking around it to stand in front of you, grabbing your hands and pulling you up so he can look down at you. “Satan needs you right now… You should go be with him.” 
Satan… he did need you. He needed you more than anything, not just right now, but always. You helped him, more than he’d like to admit, more than he’d ever admit. Whenever he was around you he felt like he had better control of himself, he felt like he could actually be happy. With you, he even questioned whether his Avatar should be wrath, because you washed away any ounce of anger he had in his body, or at least, you made him forget about it for the time being. Satan… who, when you finally entered his room again, was curled in on himself, apparently finally having broken down and fallen asleep while he was crying. He hadn’t even lost you not, not completely, but the feeling was there, it was distant at the moment, but it felt like it was growing larger the closer that it came. “Hey… It’s gonna be okay…” Your voice jolted him out of his sleep, his eyes bloodshot as they opened and looked up at you, and while he wanted to be angry at your hopeful statement, he couldn’t even find it in him. Had he used up all of his anger already? No.. that couldn’t be it. No.. it was just that… the only thing you could be was hopeful, just as he was. Hopeful that there would be some way to sort this all out, to make it seem like it never happened. There had to be a miracle. God might not be on their side, but you were still human, he had to be looking out for you, right? “Yeah… it’s all gonna be okay…” He hated lying to you, at least, it felt like he was lying, because in the moment, he wasn’t exactly sure that anything would be okay, and nothing would be “okay” if you actually died. So, just like you, he was holding onto what tiny thread of hope you both had left. It’s all he could do, it’s all any of you could do. 
He pulled you down onto his bed with him, holding you close against his chest, and although he, for once, didn’t have anything to say… he hoped that his actions spoke for him. It wouldn’t be fair to tell you that he loved you now, you probably wouldn’t believe him if he did. You would tell him that he was just speaking out of fear, and while you would probably be right in the fact that he was saying it in that moment because he was scared, it wouldn’t mean that the feelings weren’t true. So he held you, tighter than he’d ever held anyone else, tighter than he had ever held you before. Maybe if he kept you close, nobody would be able to get to you… maybe… 
“My Lord… I need you to get Barbatos to do something for me… for all of us… please.” Lucifer mumbled into the phone line. It was a last ditch effort, one that he hoped would work, because if it didn’t, he’d have to go higher… way higher. It was the only way, not just to protect you, but to protect Satan, to protect all of them from feeling that kind of pain again.
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thanksjro · 3 years
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More Than Meets the Eye #33: In Which I Write the Word ‘Quantum‘ 19 Times
Dang, I forgot what happened at the end of the last issue. It was pretty important, too, but I don’t have time to reread. Maybe the establishing shot can help me out?
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Oh, that’s right, Rewind happened!
Everyone’s pretty jazzed that Rewind is here, non-exploded, and supposedly alive. Megatron carries this ridiculously small man over to a table, while Skids is busy admonishing Nightbeat for trying to put the pieces of this mystery together.
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That’s one of the two first canonically, openly gay Transformers, Megatron. You bet your ass he’s important.
Nightbeat’s dragged Nautica over to look at that poster for Crosscut’s play they saw last issue. Together, they discover something interesting, and it’s not that Nightbeat’s chin has elongated to the point of absurdity. On this future ship, the play was completed and produced a mere few weeks after the initial launch of the Lost Light.
While this is going on, Rewind wakes up and asks Skids what the hell is going on. Skids, likely not wanting to poke at farm-fresh trauma, glosses over the fact that everyone on this ship was violently murdered, and that they found Rewind blacked out inside the hollowed torso of his brother-in-law.
…This is a dark story line.
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You see, the joke here is that “Dark Cybertron” sucked major chrome.
Megatron reminds everyone that they’re still in grave danger every moment they stay aboard this ship, but Skids is more concerned with Rewind’s mental health. Which is sweet, but maybe not the thing to prioritize in such a precarious situation.
Rewind takes the fact that Megatron is an Autobot now pretty friggin’ well, as well as the introduction of gender into his species. That is, until Nightbeat, the king of social graces, saunters up to the scene to ask Rewind what the hell happened to the ship. He does get his answers, despite Rewind being horrified to the point of speechlessness.
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Over at the hole in the wall, Nautica and Riptide are taking a gander at the quantum drums, which house the quantum foam for the quantum engines so quantum jumps can happen.
As Nautica explains the process by which quantum travel works, she realizes that the answer to what happened to everyone who disappeared was right in front of them this whole time.
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Quantum, quantum, quantum- doesn’t even sound like a word anymore, does it?
The data slug Rewind made corroborates this theory, showing a series of events that definitely didn’t happen to the Lost Light we’ve been following throughout this story so far. The data slug contains this Rewind’s version of dead Rewind’s “Little Victories”, the travelogue that was never completed, where the question “are you happy?” revealed just how emotionally unhealthy most of the crew is. I’d like to imagine this Rewind’s film is called “Small Achievements”, or perhaps “Dear Fucking Lord, We’ve Been on this Trip for Three Hours and the Captain Has Been Killed by a Goddamned Soul-Vampire”, or maybe even “Where the FUCK is Our Therapist”.
The DJD came into the equation by way of someone having led them to the Lost Light. We get a flashback panel of the gorefest, in which Tarn appears to have learned how to fly, given the angle he’s coming from.
Because Rewind’s big thing in this series is being the guy who records stuff, the DJD take the opportunity to make some movies of their visit to the space yacht.
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James, why do you keep getting Rewind involved with snuff films? I’m starting to get concerned.
Now, the thing about Rewind is that he’s almost always accompanied by his other half. Where is Chromedome, anyway?
He’s dead, that’s where.
Turns out, when you tell the DJD that you won’t do the thing they want you to do, they have a habit of doing nasty things in retaliation. Chromedome got stabbed in the friggin’ visor with his own finger needles, because Vos enjoys ironic deaths, I suppose. There’s some other stuff that’s implied to have happened, but we’ll get to that once we learn a little more about the DJD themselves.
While Rewind recounts the grisly tale of his husband’s demise, Riptide notes that the quantum foam has begun to spread at a remarkable rate. This is a bad thing, because that shit can and will explode, given half the chance, and this wreck is floating right above a potentially-inhabited planet.
Though I could have sworn we established that this planet was a Smartplanet, and therefore very much populated by students and staff. I don’t know. Maybe we conveniently forgot that, so we could make this a learning moment for Megatron.
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Jiminy Christmas, Megs, do you even listen to yourself?
Skids, who has had a very long day of finding corpses and learning about quantum theory, snaps at Megatron, telling him that in order to actually be an Autobot, you have to have a little frickin’ compassion for those outside of your peer group.
Which is sort of contradictory to the Aequitas trials, the Killswitch debacle, the POW situation back on Cybertron, and whatever the fuck Prowl’s whole deal is, but maybe Skids is speaking about his own, personal relationship with being an Autobot. Hopefully so, otherwise he needs a class on critical thinking, STAT.
Never mind all of that though, because the problem just got a lot worse- the quantum foam has expanded to a point where any holes in the stuff are too small for the Rod Pod to get through. We’re going to have to get creative if we want to save the day.
Luckily, we’ve got a quantum duplicate of just about the tiniest little dude in the franchise here to do the job. Now we just need another, equally tiny little man, so the quantum drums can be shut off at the same time. Nautica commits more microaggressions, and this gives Getaway inspiration for a witty quip, which in turn gives Skids a brilliant idea.
The gang heads down to Brainstorm’s lab, to look for the mass displacement gun that was used for treating Ultra Magnus’s nanocon infestation back in the 2012 Annual. While they search, Nautica explains just why the hell the Lost Light disappeared in the first place. You see, quantum duplication acts on the Cain Instinct— it’s fine, as long as the duplicates don’t perceive each other. However, the moment contact is made, it says “oh man, guess I’m gonna have to end you” to one of the duplicates. The contact in this case happened when the Coffin Rodimus was brought aboard the ship.
Anything that wasn’t aboard the Lost Light at the point of the takeoff/explosion was never duplicated, and thus wasn’t erased from reality once shit started going to hell. This is why the Rod Pod is still around, and why the remaining cast are— well, the remaining cast.
While this conversation is going on, Nautica and Nightbeat uncover yet another dead body; it’s Brainstorm, and he’s a little underdressed.
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…Someone run a paternity test, I think Cyclonus might be the father.
Also, Brainstorm’s a double agent.
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Fucked up.
Getaway is furious that a Decepticon has been living on the same ship as him for the last six months, right under his proverbial nose. Even Megatron’s surprised, stating that Brainstorm isn’t usually who the recruiters aim for.
So, no mass displacement gun, and now they’re aware of the fact that there’s a traitor on the ship who’s had access to a LOT of weapon tech. It’s at this point that Megatron decides to stop lying by omission and tells everyone that he can mass-displace, since he used to turn into a handgun.
Smashcut to Megatron and Rewind floating out in space, the former now not much taller than the latter, as they traverse the web of quantum foam to get to the drums. Nautica instructs them from the Rod Pod. If this works, anything produced or connected to the quantum engine will be neutralized, and maybe we’ll even get the other Lost Light back! YAAAAAY!!!
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Y’all really let this man go out there to fuckin’ kill himself for the greater good, didn’t you?
Rewind is honestly pretty chill with ceasing to be, seeing as he watched 200/+ people die today, including his long-time spouse.
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Jesus. I’d say get him a therapist, but in order to do that, we’re going to have to wipe him off the map anyway.
Rewind asks Megatron if the Chromedome that isn’t his and his duplicate are still together. And I mean…
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Luckily, Megatron has the good sense to lie.
With that, they flip the switches, and deactivate the drums.
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And that’s a series wrap on Rewind! Congrats to Mr. James Roberts for the esteemed honor of burying the same gay twice!
Later on, everyone is back inside the Rod Pod, as their disappeared shipmates return from being nonexistent. Chromedome pops back in, and Skids is on him like a shark, telling him to go on the roof. Skids doesn’t even try to explain why. Which, fair. How the hell do you explain to someone that their dead husband’s quantum duplicate survived both a terrorist splinter cell attack, and the laws of quantum sci-fi bullshit crashing down on his tiny, tiny body, and that he’s right there on the roof waiting for them?
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Welp, there goes the Chromedome/Dominus endgame. Shame, that.
Looks like Chromedome finally hit the threshold for having earned Roberts’ pity, and won’t be directly targeted by the plot for a little while. This isn’t something you see very often, so let’s really soak this in.
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…Someone had to have told Rewind what happened to the other Rewind, right? I wonder what that conversation was like.
Back inside the ship, Blaster gets word that the Lost Light has reappeared. As they navigate towards it, Megatron requests that an encrypted call be made to Rodimus, to discuss the Brainstorm problem.
In the interim, Ravage is offered the opportunity to be a part of the crew, so he doesn’t have to keep skulking around in the shadows. We don’t get an answer from him, as our focus shifts over to Nightbeat and Nautica.
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Nightbeaaaaaaaaaat, stop stating the themes of the comic verbatim! People are going to start thinking you’re a shonen anime protagonist!
Nightbeat’s somehow managed to keep ahold of the briefcase that they found on the other Lost Light. Unless Brainstorm’s boyfriend is in there, I don’t think this one was the work of Huey Lewis and the News’ hit single from the Back to the Future soundtrack.
Over on the Lost Light, specifically in Swerve’s, Brainstorm’s making his way through the crowd, briefcase held gentle like hamburger as he goes. He makes it to the bar, where Atomizer tells him he can’t have his briefcase in here. Brainstorm has what most would accept to be a healthy response to being told “no.”
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It’s what I would do.
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drabbles-mc · 4 years
Text
“Get It Out!”
Angel Reyes x Reader (Guest appearance from EZ)
Warnings: language, mentions of blood/injuries
Word Count: 1.7k
A/N: We love a little Injured!Angel having to get taken care of by his girl and his brother. This was technically a Whumptober prompt but I have fallen behind on posting those in order so here’s a little one-shot. 😁 Feel free to make requests!
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When you had told Angel that you wanted him to be more honest with you, to let you in on what was going on with the club, this is not the direction that you saw it going in. You just wanted to know why he was gone for days at a time and couldn’t communicate with you. You did not expect to have him turning up on your doorstep, half-draped onto his brother, bleeding.
“What the fuck,” you opened the door all the way and helped EZ pull him inside.
“He got stabbed,” EZ didn’t really know how much he should elaborate—he didn’t know how much you knew.
You scoffed, “Yea I can fucking see that, Ezekiel, the blade is still stuck in his leg.”
The two of you carefully lowered Angel onto the floor. You had so many questions but from the look on EZ’s face you weren’t confident that either of them were going to give you many answers. Blood was trickling down Angel’s leg and it was almost too distracting. It was hard to think about what to do when all you could think about was the fact that your boyfriend was one wrong decision away from bleeding out on your floor.
“What do you want me to do?” you finally managed to ask.
“I don’t know,” EZ replied honestly, “He insisted that we come here because you would know what to do.”
You huffed, “Fucking hell. Alright, um, go grab some towels out of the closet. I’m gonna grab some gauze and other stuff. I’ll see if I can get him patched up enough to take him to a real doctor.”
“No doctor,” it was the first time Angel had spoken.
“Angel,” your voice was firm, “this isn’t a debate. I’m gonna get rid of the evidence of whatever crime was involved here,” you gestured broadly to his whole body, “and then I’m gonna come up with a fake story and get you to an emergency room.”
“But—”
“It wasn’t a question,” you cut him off before he could argue.
You flew up the stairs, heading to the bedroom that you and Angel shared. You looked through his drawers, finally finding an old belt that would do exactly what you needed. You gripped it tight in your hand as you also dug around for an old pair of shorts and a clean shirt for him to wear instead of his now-bloody jeans and his kutte.
Once you found everything that you needed in the bedroom, you made your way to the bathroom. You called out to EZ to put the towels underneath Angel’s leg so he wouldn’t bleed all over the floor. You could hear Angel’s voice but it was muffled and you couldn’t make out what he was saying. Surely is was some sort of sarcastic remark. It was probably better that you didn’t hear it.
You rooted through the cabinet in the bathroom until you found some peroxide and gauze. You also grabbed a wash cloth before making your way back downstairs. You dropped all of your treasures on the couch before proceeding to the kitchen. You grabbed a pot and filled it with warm water. You also got your fabric scissors out of the junk drawer, chuckling to yourself that your random crafting phase a few years ago was paying off in the strangest ways now. You brought them out to the living room and set it on the ground next to where EZ had positioned Angel.
You looked over at EZ, handing him the scissors, “Help him get his pants off while I get all of this set up.”
Angel groaned, “C’mon, Y/N, we don’t gotta do all this.”
“You came to me for help, Angel.”
“Just get it out,” he gestured to the blade jutting out of his leg, “Get it out and slap a band-aid on that shit, Querida. I’ll be fine.”
“I say this with all the love in the world, Angel: shut the fuck up,” you gave a pointed look to EZ, “Scissors, jeans, now.”
Angel might be up for arguing with you but EZ knew better. He had yet to piss you off and today certainly wasn’t going to be the day that he changed that trend. He pulled off his brother’s shoes and set about carefully cutting the fabric above and below the blade that was in Angel’s leg, peeling off the piece that was below. The cut off his leg with no issues.
“What do you want me to do with the fabric that’s cut by the knife?”
“Leave it for now,” you were getting the gauze ready, “that’ll be the last piece we take care of.
EZ helped brace Angel off the ground just enough so that he could push the waistband of his jeans down off his hips. It felt foreign to him to try and get his pants off when there was only full leg left of them. EZ carefully maneuvered the cut piece around the blade without touching it too much, but it still made Angel wince and curse under his breath as he wriggled his other leg out of the fabric.
Once his jeans were off and tossed to the side, you started telling EZ your plan. It wasn’t an elegant plan, and honestly if the blade had gotten one of Angel’s arteries there wasn’t going to be all that much you could do for him anyway. So this was your best shot, you just had to pray that it would work as well as you hoped.
“I’m gonna pull the blade out,” your breath shook just saying it, “Then you’re gonna press the gauze hard against the wound to try and slow the bleeding. Then I’m gonna use this,” you held up the belt, “to wrap around it to try and get some good, consistent pressure on it. Hopefully that’ll all work and then we can get fresh clothes on him and get him to the hospital.”
“What about me?” Angel piped up, “What do I do?”
You looked down at him. His face was pretty neutral given the circumstances, but you could see the fear in his eyes. You placed your hand gently on his cheek, “Try to sit as still as possible. It’s gonna hurt like a bitch.”
You looked over at EZ again to make sure that he was ready. He gave you a small nod and you gently wrapped your fingers around the handle of the knife. It wasn’t your typical little pocket-knife, and you were glad they someone had had the foresight to not just yank it out right away. You let out as steady of a breath as you could manage.
“Just get it out, Y/N,” Angel’s voice was harsh but you couldn’t blame him.
“Sorry,” your voice was soft as you pulled it out in one smooth motion.
“Fuck!” Angel screamed and clenched his fists, fighting the urge to squirm from the pain.
You pulled the last small piece of fabric down away from the cut and EZ immediately placed the gauze onto the wound, stifling the bleeding slightly. You took a breath and tried to reassess for your next step. You were going to have to clean out the cut—god only knows where that knife had been before it got jammed into Angel’s leg.
“This is gonna sting, Angel, I’m sorry,” you couldn’t meet his eyes. You lifted EZ’s hands and poured the peroxide onto the cut, immediately pushing EZ’s hands back down again.
Angel’s eyes were shut tight, fighting the urge to let out another scream. He had the towel balled up in his fists, knuckles white. You tried not to think about that as you grabbed the belt, propping his leg up just enough so that you would be able to loop the belt underneath it. He didn’t have scrawny thighs, so it didn’t loop around as many times as you had originally thought it might, but it seemed like so far your plan was working about as well as could be expected. There was no blood spraying everywhere, and it seemed like you would be able to clean him up a little bit and get him to the hospital without him passing out from blood loss. All of those things were huge wins in your book.
You took a deep breath and looked over to Angel, who was a little paler than usual. You gently ran your thumb across his cheekbone before setting about to clean off his leg. You soaked the wash cloth in the warm water and wiped down his entire leg, trying your best to get as much of the dried blood off as possible.
“EZ,” you looked over at him with pleading eyes, “Can you help him stand up so I can pull on his shorts?”
“I can pull on my own shorts. I’m injured, not unconscious,” he sounded bitter.
“You shouldn’t be bending that leg, Angel, that’s all. I know you’re capable of dressing yourself. Don’t start being a baby about all of this now.”
EZ stifled a laugh as he helped his brother to his feet. Angel leaned more of his weight onto EZ than necessary just to make him pay for finding any humor in this situation. Angel did as he was told, though, and allowed you to pull his shorts up. Changing his shirt went much smoother and soon enough he was ready to be taken to the hospital.
They helped him hobble out of the house. EZ was about to guide him back to the pickup but you steered them towards your car. “Back seat is bigger,” you stated matter-of-factly. You and EZ helped ease Angel into the back seat. You hopped in the driver’s seat and EZ sat shotgun.
“What’re you even gonna tell the doctors?” Angel piped up from the back seat.
You looked at him through the rearview mirror, “You work at a scrapyard, can’t you just tell them it was a workplace accident?”
“I mean,” he huffed, “I guess.”
You chuckled, shaking your head and returning your eyes to the road. EZ looked over at you with a smirk, “Not bad for not a doctor, Y/N.”
“You boys and your praise. It’s a wonder I can stay so humble.”
485 notes · View notes
isagrimorie · 3 years
Text
[initial reactions] Doctor Who - Revolution of the Daleks
TLDR: I liked it! But I do have some nitpicks. But bottom line, I liked it! Especially the exit! 
Apologies going in, if it’s rambling and incoherent.
First off, I’m going to get my criticisms out of the way:
- They really need to hire these two people:
a) Sensitivity readers
b) They need to have people of color in charge of casting. Andy Pryor has done a great job casting people but. Since they opened up casting more actors of color to be more diverse... most people in guest roles die. So it ends up being Not A Great Look.
It’s the kind of breezy: We’re hiring more actors of color without really considering the optics of it. Colorblind casting in this way shouldn’t be colorblind. More diversity behind the scenes is needed, especially in casting.
Colorblind casting isn’t representation. Execs have to consider how it looks that a black man is helping create ‘Security Drones’ for the government.
c) I get why Jack Robertson lived, and I’m actually okay with it because I know Chibbs is going somewhere and he’s interconnecting Specials to be their own kind of continuity, so next Special or series we will have Robertson appearing. But I can’t believe the Doctor believed Robertson. Unless she’s really learned from not interfering with politics, but man I wish there’s more vindication to that. I do have a sense of where this is going though, more on that later.  
d) I wish they’d gone harder with the Dalek = Police thing.
e) I really kind of wish the Doctor escaped on her own.
And now for my thoughts and the happy!
RYAN! I LOVE RYAN. I LOVE RYAN BEING EMOTIONALLY MATURE AND PUSHING BACK ON THE DOCTOR. It felt... earned that they do and, Ryan’s always been the more hesitant of the three and the more grounded. I love that it’s Ryan that the Doctor confided in, I’ve always felt like Ryan was the one Thirteen connected to the most after Grace died. And I love his development, ever since Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos Ryan is the first to quote the Doctor back to herself from the guns rule and now here to ‘New can be scary’, reminding the Doctor of her own words.
But also, I love that Ryan felt more connected to Earth, with his friends. Yaz was always the one who looks to the horizon. I like that Ryan pushed back on the smokescreen the Doctor tried to put up. Ryan was tired of the smokescreen. He had 10 months to work on his feelings about it and realized... he liked being home.
I wish we saw more what they were doing at home, like what Chibnall wrote for the Ponds in Power of Three. I did see this was his arc he was building to.
I liked that Graham was torn but eventually his loyalties are with Ryan.
I honestly think the fam thought the Doctor was just gone for a week, her time.
Also: FINALLY A COMPANION EXIT WHERE THEY’RE THE ONES WHO WALK AWAY. And because it’s time.
NO MORE TRAPPED IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE OR DYING OR BEING CONVERTED PLEASE. Anyway, that is why I was vindicated because I was getting pretty antsy at all the twitter posts almost gleeful at the thought of companion death.
Nope. No more please. No more world ending, universe ending, heartbreaking ends. I want a Jo Grant walk away, and that is what happened. (Er, I hope we don’t get a Tegan leaving from Yaz, though. Sad and disillusioned walk away).
Yaz. Oh, dear, Yaz, who seems to have tossed her career away running after the Doctor’s shining star. I loved her conversation with Jack, he was a nice contrast and sounding board. Also, Jack was much kinder to the Doctor because they didn’t miss each other, the Doctor (according to RTD’s retcon) deliberately left Jack on Satellite Five.
Yaz is willing to run and jump without looking because of the Doctor and I love that we got her feelings about this.
And, of course, the Doctor. The moment Ryan said she missed 10 months, I felt she knew the clock was ticking on her ‘fam’. She’s trying to be good to them and do right by them.
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(The Doctor knows Ryan’s ready to leave, she knew it. She’s trying to be in denial about it. But she knows).
It’s a small detail but when she processed the ‘ten months’ bit, she quickly looked to Ryan. Because if it’s one of the subtext things around is that she wanted to be a better father to Ryan than his real dad. But she still skipped out on him unknowingly.
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The way he just brushed it off, because the worst part is. Ryan is used to it.
It’s sad that the Doctor opening up to the fam was brought on after a decades’ long solitary, and probably a promise to be better. But, she calculated wrong, or the TARDIS deliberately chose to go to that time. Whatever the case, just when she’s opening up to them is when Ryan decided his time with the Doctor was at an end.
God, the moment when Thirteen said: “Mostly... angry.”
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I felt this. hard.
I think it was @ssaalexblake​ who mentioned that Thirteen acknowledging she’s angry might help with all of Thirteen’s repressed anger issues. And I think these are baby steps towards that.
She’s actually been so angry for so long, but she kept pushing it down. Like I said, Thirteen, in a way, reminds me of Raylan Givens of Justified. People think he’s mild mannered, but as his ex-wife amicably opined, Raylan was the angriest man she knew.
And I feel this for this Doctor but at least, now she’s addressing it. The first step in fixing a problem, is identifying the problem.
This was made in 2019. Thirteen being in a repeating lockdown felt very 2020 to me. The things that made me go: Oof, was the Harry Potter thing, the Doctor’s always loved HP. Unfortunately it’s post-2020 hindsight where we go: whoof.
I love Thirteen still mouthing off and being obnoxious towards other Doctor Who baddies. The Weeping Angel thing is cool and so are the Silents. BUT ALSO THE DOCTOR CALLED THE P’TING TINY! AND SHE TRIED TO EAT THE PRISON BARS. 
And then, of course, being more obnoxious with the Daleks. It’s pretty clear the difference in rawness of the Doctor’s feelings for the Daleks and the Cybermen. The Daleks’s an old ember. Her feelings for them are ice cold. A purity of feeling. The Daleks are evil and she has no compunction on killing them, the Cybermen? More personal and a raw nerve.
She’s willing to be cold towards the Daleks. 
I really like that Yaz has more skin in the game, and she knows what she can lose now. And after her talking with Jack, after seeing his perspective on it, and from his words knows that sometimes the Doctor just disappears from people’s lives.
And I love the pushback:
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Skewered.
But true because she is trying to stay still and be with the fam and not leave them. But the unfortunate truth is, the Doctor does run away, and the Doctor does leave people behind and a lot of the times, the Doctor doesn’t come back because they’re an emotional coward.
The thing about Thirteen is she’s probably the longest of the Doctors to not disappoint her companions. She’s always managed to stop bad guys and always been there for them.  It’s an impressive track record for the Doctor. She’s built herself up in their eyes as someone they can rely on, and then she failed them by not getting back to them in time.
It’s not her fault, and none of them know how long it’s been for the Doctor, by the way she’s asked them I feel like they think she’s only been gone for a week.
Honestly, I’m impressed how the Doctor didn’t make it about her -- being in prison for longer than they thought. She’s looking at it from their point of view, because she already knows what big leaps in time would affect her friends.
TBH Revolution of the Daleks felt like shades of Last Christmas in that the Doctor regretted missing out time with her companion/s. In Last Christmas, the Doctor got his time back with Clara, in RotD, time passed.
Back to the Doctor and the Daleks tho.
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This reminded of Twelve’s: “You are monsters. That is the role you seem determined to play. So it seems I must play mine. The Man that stops the Monsters.”
(Look, Chibnall’s Moffat references aren’t as sledgehammer, but he does reference a lot of Moffat’s things.).
Except with Thirteen, I’m actually more terrified. Jodie does this thing where her eyes goes black and she kind of disappears into herself, this is what happened here. This promise isn’t actually good IMO.
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This is not a comforting face. This is a ‘I’m gonna kill a whole boatload of Daleks face and I’m not sorry, in fact I might enjoy doing that’ face.
(And, a brief aside to Robertson, I feel like the Specials have their own kind of special ‘movie’ continuity and more of his story will play out in the Specials, where hopefully he will get his comeuppance because, to me, I feel that’s where it’s going. This is more groundwork laying.
I don’t like it when the Doctor interferes with Human affairs, especially government -- because look what happened with Harriet Jones and how the Doctor broke the Golden Age. Also, I don’t want real world leaders to exist in the Whoverse because I want them to have a completely different track from us. So. Yeah, New Year’s Specials have their ongoing storyline. I’m actually not mad about it, and I enjoy Mr. Big’s performance. He’s a sleezeball. A sleezeball that knows more now. (He isn’t T rump but he isn’t better either). At least I find him enjoyable and not outright offensive. I’m okay seeing him again for the next Specials. I hope next time he does get his comeuppance.)
Now, the goodbyes:
 The HUG.
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We’ve been waiting for the Doctor to be more physically affectionate with the fam, and it took the Doctor being locked down for decades (maybe?), and Ryan and Graham leaving for her to hug them. And we’re all right, Thirteen gives great hugs.
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The feeling Thirteen’s been running away from is here, sadness. It’s good that Yaz decided to stay other wise... she’s just going to run headlong into forgetting her problems, Doctor Style.
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And again, learning and re-learning things: ‘It’s okay to be sad.’
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Oh, Thirteen.
(Before Twelve, I don’t think I was this sympathetic to the Doctor -- no wait, I was with Nine. Ten and Eleven tested my patience but it’s with Twelve and Thirteen where I’m 100% invested in the Doctor.
I also love that they’re kind of soft touching the Timeless Child thing, and as someone on twitter mentioned, this feels like an examination of an adoption story. The Doctor is going to search for their identity, their home).
I honestly wish Jack stayed in the TARDIS with Thirteen and Yaz. Jack’s a great balance, especially pushing back at the Doctor and her tactics. Her NUCLEAR tactics. I am glad that the Doctor’s still a dick to Jack, not much of an asshole as they were when the Doctor was Ten but still a dick.
Also, one thing I really love about Barrowman is that when he’s in Doctor Who, he knows it’s not his show and he doesn’t showboat, and the man can showboat. 
I’d rather Jack than random guy that I didn’t even know was gonna happen until very late.
Anyway, TLDR to all this: I enjoyed this very much! Still a lot to be parsed through in things that needs to be parsed through as I mentioned, but on the whole? I loved it.
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ka-writes · 3 years
Text
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Welp sorry it be late, schools a bitch..
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Warning: murder, crime, cussing, depression, mentions of abuse, insanity.
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Inspired by:
Humans are Space Velociraptors
By:FreshRoses_InMyGarden_NeedTheRain
Some kids come from storks, others come from crashed spaceships
By: mmmajora
Home Again, Home Again
By: teeth_eater
All works can be found on Ao3
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Ao3 link:
Other fic:
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Incase you missed:
Chapter 1:
Chapter 7:
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Chapter 8: Some sort of remedy..
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Days turned into months which all ended in an ever growing pit of hopelessness.
Six months had passed since they lost the starlings. SIX fucking months, and not a damn sign that the Dream Team were even out there.
His eyes burned as he stared into the void for hours on end. The only thing keeping him from going out of the emergency hatch being the warm cup of coffee that somehow kept it’s warmth on the freezing ship.
His skin was flaky and sticky, yet he couldn’t be bothered to wash it. His stomach turned in pain, when was the last time he had eaten? His throat was sore from the coffee and his entire body complained about the stress.
The physical pain was nothing compared to the ache that seemed to seep from his core and into his bones and blood, making him more weak than physical health could ever compare too.
At this point tears were long forgotten, only leaving stains where they should be. It did nothing but cause more damage than good. His brain turned with thoughts that swore there would be vengeance for whoever stole his family.
The time had given him plans of what he would do. Most of them ending up with the starlings safe and the ship and inhabitants blown up in a painful death made by his favorite chemicals. There would be no time for them to escape and nothing would remain if he could help it.
Even then his mind was brought back to the sheer feeling of the empty void that was so easily accessible. No one could stop him if he tried, yet everything held him back.
He took a sip staring into the void, his mind buzzing with thoughts bouncing from topic to topic.
He remembered Tubbo’s eyes. The way they shone with a crave for knowledge, causing the kid to go into a fit every time Wilbur told him to go to bed.
He also remembered the distrust that gleamed in his eyes when he brought him back from that awful ship. The one that enviably broke the kid. The one that made his nature ever so careful not allowing the kid to trust anyone.
He couldn’t blame him. What Schlatt did caused his mind to forever be closed off.
He was worried for who Tubbo would blame. If it was Tommy, there would be too many issues that could cause them to fall in a different rabbit hole.
His mind wandered to the human. The bright and explosive human, that made the charred heart of Wilbur Soot turn. He had already grown attached to the kid. It had only been three days before they were ripped apart. It hurt much more than he thought it would.
His mind buzzed to the what if’s both good and bad. He took another sip. This time he stared into the void with admiration. His mind focused on plans and back ups. The details and potential failed choices. Trials and errors that only existed within the limits of his mind.
He didn’t move until Phil told him it was lunch. He pushed down the urge to hold back for another meal and ate the food offered.
He dragged a bean bag and coffee table to the spot and stared into the endless void. Continuing his train of thought, only pausing to answer questions from his family.
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“C’mon!” Tubbo whispered to the lacking Tommy who still couldn’t quite compete with the other’s agility. “The tracker says he’s in this room.”
They stalked silently to the door, having already memorized the creaks in the hallway. Tubbo pushed the door open and they dived into the room, barrel rolling so they wouldn’t be above the bed.
The pair clipped on gas masks and released the sleeping fumes. Tubbo signaled Tommy allowing him to sneak to the side of the bed. Carefully he laid down a bucket and took a knife out.
The man fell silent. His breathing stopped and there was no motion in his body.
After the blood stopped dripping they staged a suicide and left the room. Closing the distance between them and their ship easily.
Once they got to the ship, their hero congratulated them and they headed back to their room.
Strangely enough Tommy didn’t feel any type of excitement or joy at the mission going well. It felt wrong and burned his gut making him want to crawl into a ball and never wake up.
If he told Dream he would say he wasn’t going with his instincts and that he should forget the poison he was taught.
Dream was right.
So he laid in bed and silently congratulated himself, even though he wasn’t proud.
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The mission went well, in Dream’s eyes.
In Tubbo’s opinion it could’ve gone better. The human was sloppy and lacked quite a bit and was sloppy when it actually came to the job.
He was also being sloppy since he communicated more than once during the entire thing.
Hopefully he won’t have to do that when he finishes the escape route.
The only good thing that came out of the ship was he stayed fairly fit and was more attentive then he ever had been. Why did he start slacking in that sense?
His mind wandered to the many nights he stayed up late working with Wilbur on his latest fascination. Or when Techno would read his many different novels to him, since he wasn’t able to read as well as the rest of the crew. Or the times Phil would show him the cabin and teach him small tricks on how to steer the ship. Or when Ranboo and him stayed up for hours on end, exchanging small conversations and staring into the vast void of space.
Tears threatened to fall.
His mind wandered to the conversation Ranboo and Tommy had. How useless and pitiful that jealousy was. Now the one he could blame his recent pain on was laying in the same room as him, just as restless as he.
The human was strong and passionate, he could give him that. But he was also stubborn and impulsive, along with being impossibly loyal.
If Tubbo could get him on his side, they would most likely be able to get off the ship and hopefully kill their captures, if they weren’t able to get that far Wilbur and Phil definitely would.
He settled for letting himself fall asleep to the soft breaths of the human. He knew the other was still awake. He hadn’t really slept the entirety of their imprisonment most likely due to paranoia.
He wondered if he tried, maybe they would be friends or if that only existed in another world.
His thoughts roared with possibilities and thoughts of other lifes. Slowly he drifted into a slumber.
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His captain had turned into someone he no longer recognized.
Full of a sickly passion making him crave power.
Anyone and anything that got in the way was destroyed, which is how George found himself packing his case and booking a flight ticket off of the next planet.
He suggested they change the training for the starlings. Dream absolutely hated that and saw it as a direct violation of his loyalty.
George could feel the tears prickling his skin as he remembered how human the Dreamon looked when he finished his screaming. There were no words for the blood lust and betrayal in the dreamon’s eyes.
He bit back the pain that seemed to be swallowing him whole.
An idea blossomed.
He could use this moment as a last act of defiance.
A way to show how much pain the crew brought him.
A smile perked on his face.
An insane laugh bubbled.
Without another thought he tampered with the crew’s dreams. Letting them have the most peaceful sleep of their lives.
Dream had made a mistake. The co pilot landed the ship smoothly on the next planet.
He walked to the one room he refused to visit and opened the door.
The droneling was the first out, quickly followed by the human.
The two were off on an unknown planet and the ship was back in motion. Stopping at the planet they would use to resupply the ship and drop the ex-crewmember at.
The ship lost three inhabitants that day. Two of which got out undetected and one that would definitely have a target on his back for the rest of his life.
The other crewmen were kicked off at the next planet leaving a furious dreamon to wilt in his own madness in the void of space.
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Chapter 8-End
Words: 1455
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Hahahhahahahhabababbabbaba
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George- gets kicked out..
George- Ima make Dream mad
Proceeds to make everyone leave..
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Remember likes are appreciated but reblogs are better!! Stay safe and take care of yourself!! <3
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Chapter 9:
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a-lil-bi-furious · 3 years
Note
Scisaac :D
oof, thank you for this ask, and I am so sorry this took so long to respond. It’s finals season and I grossly underestimated how much I have to do 😅 But here it is, in all it's (hopefully understandable) rambling glory: Scisaac
*aggressively hits ship button* 
1) What made you ship it?
I’ve been on the Scisaac train for a looooong time now. When I was first watching Teen Wolf, during my own very teen-y but non-wolfy years, I don’t think I actually started to ship them until a bit into 3A. When I re-watched the show, though, that scene in the club with “No, I mean you. I don’t want you to get hurt.” had me as done for as Isaac. (There’s this lovely gif set someone made, too, that’s just a close up on their hands during the syringe hand-off, and all the subtle, soft finger brushing makes me go feral.) Anyway, that scene was the shipping spark, but it wasn’t really what established Scisaac as an important relationship to me.
For me, the scene in the clinic with the dog (in 2x11 “Battlefield”) is what really cemented that. It’s funny, because this scene really isn’t a shipping scene, right? This is a learning moment which focuses more on resident-mentor Alan Deaton extending to Isaac the opportunity to learn how to use his abilities for something other than anger and power. And I love it so much for that! But the interaction between Scott and Isaac makes me weak. Because you’ve got Isaac--this jaded, abused kid who holds a lot of resentment and fear and accepted the bite, most likely, to feel like he had some modicum of control in his life and the strength to not feel helpless anymore, and in the end externalized all of that rage--experiencing this moment of raw vulnerability with two people who, by all counts, should want nothing to do with him. And we can talk about how that moment in the club was probably one of the first times anyone has shown genuine concern for Isaac’s well-being (and how this act of kindness was coming from someone he’s been hostile to) in who knows how long, but what about the first moment Isaac acts in compassion and tenderness? How long has it been since he considered himself capable of feeling something that wasn’t pain, fear, or that deep seated fury which swallows everything else? How long has it been since Isaac knew any language other than violence? For a moment he’s cracked open and everything is overwhelming and rather than using his hands as weapon and shield, he’s using them to heal. He cries, and for a moment he’s even startled--maybe scared. And what does Scott do? He immediately offers a point of connection and consolation (“It’s okay, I cried the first time he showed me, too.”)
Scott has this heart which is (sometimes dangerously) open and exposed. He cares and he believes so deeply in humanity and goodness that even when he’s spent weeks(?) fighting Isaac, distrusting Isaac, he’s also been worrying about Isaac. And the way Scott acts in this scene is so soft and curious as he’s standing by, watching. It’s like he’s just been waiting for Isaac to let his guard down just enough to step outside of what Derek’s been teaching him (about anger and control, just like he did Scott). And he gets this tiny little smile on his face as he watches it happen, because I can imagine he knows almost exactly how Isaac is feeling. Scott presents it differently and he often buries it down, but he’s angry too. All the time, at so many things, but he chooses to channel his energy into helping other people. And seeing Isaac, who up until this moment has mostly shown animosity and apathy, brought to tears when he learns he can take pain from others just proves to Scott that the tenderness pays off, that caring heals. Everyone is capable of kindness if they choose it, and to watch Isaac open himself up a little bit to that option--one that hasn’t been available to him for a long time--is incredibly rewarding. It just was such a warm, vulnerable, and genuine exchange between all three of them, and given how closed off Isaac is it was a significant indicator of the safety he was starting to feel around Scott. 
2) What are your favorite things about the ship?
re: above, my favorite thing about this ship is how tender and vulnerable each of them can be with the other (in their own ways) and how they challenge each other in ways they both really need. Scott encourages Isaac to turn away from aggression as a solution and to focus more on others, on compassionate and peaceful forms of resolution. (It’s uhhh....a work in progress.) Scott softens Isaac in a way I think he really needs. Conversely,  Isaac challenges Scott in ways he really needs. Isaac encourages him to place more focus on himself and actually attend to his needs. And also? I just think they would have fun, because Isaac = trouble and Scott 100% enjoys shenanigans more than he acts like he does. He’s a little shit at heart, and I’m here for Isaac encouraging that.
Also, I think their relationship has a good balance because they’re very different people, but I think that they have some points of relation that run deep in ways many people wouldn’t understand. For one thing, I think that Scott has a foundation of understanding for Isaac’s experience of childhood abuse and how this informs his behavior. This is entirely up to interpretation because the show never specified beyond the time Rafael accidentally(?) pushed Scott down the stairs, but even if Scott didn’t experience physical abuse outside of this incident, it’s pretty clear that Rafael is an angry, violent drunk and that the relationship in that home was toxic and (judging by his interactions with Scott and Melissa) likely emotionally abusive. It probably wasn’t always that way; it wasn’t always that way for Isaac either. The abuse that Isaac endured was different and more severe (at least in a physical sense), and whereas Scott’s dad left when he was ten, Isaac was stuck with his dad until the kanima killed him. But I think that experience of living in a home that doesn’t feel safe is something they both share. Isaac’s initial reaction seems to be to run away or retreat when he’s unsafe, but Scott’s is to make it a safe place. I could ramble on and on, but what I’m getting at is just that I think even with extremely different personalities and ideologies, they’d be able to understand each other in very specific, personal ways and help each other cope. I’m also a huge sucker for the fact that Isaac showed up on the McCall’s doorstep and that Scott’s home literally became his home--but, really, Scott became his home. And rather than run or hide when things are scary, he defends his home now (metaphorical and physical) and keeps building it up again. (And yeah, sometimes defense means beating a guy he already hated senseless over Scott not healing and then Scott probably being less than pleased about it, but it’s a learning curve okay?)
3) Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? 
I’m not sure what the general opinions are on this ship, especially now. But the most unpopular opinion I probably have is about Isaac’s temperament. A lot of people have a tendency to kind of take aforementioned softness and turn Isaac into a very gentle, sweet, puppy-like character, which I just don’t think is realistic. Really and truly, Isaac’s a sarcastic asshole with anger issues and not a whole lot of tact. And, though I tend to think he softens up quite a bit with Scott, I don’t think that changes the nature of his behavior, if that makes sense? I actually think part of the reason Isaac is a good match for Scott in the first place is because he’s this way. Scott has a tendency to ignore his own needs, which often means his wellbeing suffers. Isaac’s the kind of person to point out the bullshit, no sugar-coating, and stubbornly counter Scott’s attempts to excuse his own self-neglect at every turn. Isaac is loyal and caring, yes, but he’s pushy and aggressive about it. And I honestly think Scott needs a partner who won’t put up with his self-sacrifice; he needs someone who’s going to be persistent, because Scott also tends to be pretty obstinate.
In conclusion, I love them your honor. 
(Send me a ship and I’ll ramble about why I do/don’t ship it!)
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7wanderingpaws · 3 years
Text
Captain Bucheon 03
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Warnings: strong language
Word count: 5.9K
story masterlist masterlist
tags: @wooya1224 @to-all-the-stories-i-love @jennxx3 @realllllrica​
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<-- Previous - Next -->
Third: Saving is Caring
“Lee Nari!”
Someone was shouting your name but you couldn't tell who exactly because the entire corridor you were residing on - the forsaken fifth floor, also the top floor of the building without an elevator - was flooded with girls. They were rushing to the opposite direction you were heading to, and you frowned deeply at anyone who made even the slightest brush against you - or your chest.
“Come to room number 501!” they shouted again.
“As if,” you scoffed to yourself and dodged one hand that was about to land on your breast.
“Aish, I was gonna try if they were actually real,” you heard the girl whine but her voice got quickly blocked out by exciting squeals.
Finally managing to land in your room, you basically kicked the door open, pissed, to find Yuyeon preparing in front of her make-up mirror. Her eyes were shining and she seemed way too happy.
“What the hell is happening out there?” you grumbled, slamming the door shut with your foot to isolate yourself from the annoying squeals. “It looks like a sect or something.” You dropped your bag in the corner and threw yourself on the bed, needing the relief in your tired muscles.
Running had been taking its toll on you the past weeks, let alone your job was tiring mentally, as well. There hadn't been any slip-ups or issues anymore like last time for which you were eternally thankful. That one time - yeah, you weren't sure you could deal with that again.
“You are coming toooo!” squealed Yuyeon as well and was fast to drop the blusher on her messy table before standing and jumping over to your bed, making you fly up on the mattress too.
You whined again and tried to kick her off your bed but she climbed over you and wiggled her eyebrows at you, a cheeky glint leaving an unease in your tummy.
“We-” she leaned into your ear, “are going to watch porn.”
You gasped and pushed her off of you, pink rising up to your cheeks. “What? Are you nuts? Why would you watch-”
“C'mon, Nari,” giggled Yuyeon, sitting up properly to let you sit up as well. Her shirt slid off her shoulder and her bra strap was showing which made you reach up to bring the shirt back to its original place. “I know you've already experienced it all but-”
This time, a horrified gasp left your mouth and you were fast to shut her up with a: “I haven't experienced those things at all!”
She frowned, pouting. “But you made out with Baekhyun and you said he touched you-”
Your head was starting to spin as you shook it so violently. “No, no, no, don't bring that up. He stopped when he found out I'm a virgin and it doesn't even matter!!”
“But Nari, he is a grown up male that knows eeeeeverything there is to know about, you know, sex, and he was hot and -”
“Yuyeon, please,” you begged, hiding your face behind your palms. You felt attacked at the memories of you and Baekhyun being all touchy. “It isn't that exciting,” you tried but you knew it was a terrible, terrible lie.
She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “You don't have to come if you don't want to but it will be fun with all the girls. We can talk about boys and men and, I dunno, just enjoy.”
You pursed your lips, not so sure. A good rest was what you needed, NOT temptation. Let alone, you wouldn't be able to get Baekhyun out of your mind were you to watch stuff like that. When you were about to speak up, Yuyeon added:
“You know, ever since stuff happened, we didn't really go out like that anymore… I kind of miss fooling around with you and just going against the rules - although now we can't do it since we are old enough to be naughty, but despite that I just miss doing cheeky stuff with my bestie.”
It was heart-warming to see Yuyeon be honest with you. Even the fact that she mentioned Baekhyun was a step forward for neither of you mentioned him unless necessary. Yuyeon was tiptoeing around you for one year in order to give you time to get over the mess that the mentioned male did to you and then she grew accustomed to your indifference towards your surroundings. You didn't talk about it and she didn't want to pry too much, always listening to bits of your thoughts here and there.
Yuyeon didn't feel guilty for mentioning Baekhyun's name; if anything, she hoped that you got over it and wouldn't react to him too much. For her, of course, Baekhyun was still on the “hated people” side like Chul. But he was also your ex and you were talking about girl stuff. Exciting stuff. Mature stuff. Baekhyun's name had to be mentioned for he was the whole package in the past.
“I know, and I'm sorry about that,” you murmured, averting your gaze. Her knees were bent, her skin showing as her shorts had ridden up. “We should start getting back on the track, right?”
The corners of Yuyeon's lip lifted in a small, encouraging smile. “Yes. So how about starting with the porn?”
You laughed out loud, smacking her thigh loudly, making her wince. “Okay, okay, just because it's you!”
“No, it's 'cause you are super curious as well!” she said, sticking her tongue out at you. “How it's all done and stuff.” She was growing red in her face, but her blush looked  pretty and made her even more youthful. It made you grin wider and you shook your head at her and also stuck your tongue out, playing the silly one.
“You talk too much! Go finish your make-up, you're friggin ugly,” you rolled your eyes in mock and climbed off your bed, ready to change into more comfortable clothes.
When her slap landed on your butt, you abruptly turned around, glaring at her but both of you eventually giggled. Yes, this will be the best way to get your mind off stuff and hopefully have a good girls' night.
><
The room 501 was crammed with girls and pink and magazines and make-up and perfumes and smartphones with instagrams open. They were all chatting excitedly while one of the girls, you presumed the person living in this room, was behind her laptop, searching the websites that already screamed porn.
Both you and Yuyeon plopped down on the bed, shimmying yourselves between two girls who immediately took you in, wanting to socialize. That part was a little painful on your side as you weren't looking for new friends; especially not the ones who kept commenting on your chest and choice of clothing.
“Isn't it hard to run for you?”
“Don't people stare a lot?”
“Has anyone touched without asking?”
“How do you buy your bras? Korea is full of A cups and B cups are already considered huge anyway!”
You sighed and ensured the very concerned girl that you were able to get the cup of your size just fine - though, only in a few shops that were designed for ladies that were more blessed. You definitely couldn't just walk into any shop of your liking.
“Okay, girls, it's about to start!” shouted one and smashed the space on her keyboard, starting the forsaken video.
Everyone went silent right away, almost waiting with bated breaths for what was about to go down. 
With a small frown, you were focusing on the small story they were trying to fool you with, immediately presenting a beautiful woman with blue eyes, of course. The man, though, wasn't a catch at all - not for you, at least. Some girls' eyes sparkled at the sight of the main male character and the way he was tanned and incredibly muscly.
“He looks like he could crash her bones,” whispered eagerly Yuyeon into your ear while not tearing her eyes away from the screen.
You hummed; the more it went on the more distrubed you started to feel. It was all incredibly bizarre and their love story was faced paced.
Founding yourself zoning out and blocking out the scenes that quickly grew heated and, well, disturbing to you, you spotted a calendar of models on the desk. It wasn't too far and you grabbed it quickly, not wanting to be in the line of vision of other girls who were literally drooling while hiding their faces behind their hands at the rated scenes.
Taking the calendar, you listed through what seemed like an endless amount of sexy pictures of firefighters in Bucheon. Just as expected, they were either shirtless or pants-less or both. Thank God they had underwear. You didn’t deny it; they were so handsome it almost seemed questionable. What were they like in real life? Were they really as passionate about their work as it said on the calendar? And, more importantly, were they really as handsome as the pictures were portraying them to be? 
You kept listing through the pages, sometimes stopping to read. When you spotted a familiar face though, you almost fainted. On it, the month of May, was none other than Baekhyun. A black leather jacket was on him, underneath he was shirtless with his dark blue ripped jeans low on his hips, red supreme underwear poking out to tease the eager eye. The way they were hugging his thighs had a strong effect on you. As he had his thumb (the one with the mole on it) causally hooked in the belt loop hole, it brought your attention to the thin, and what looked like very veiny, skin that disappeared in the underwear. He had lean muscle that wouldn’t intimidate a girl. In fact, it would affect her heavily. You noticed a few more moles on his abdomen, the ripped muscles making the skin on it exceptionally tight. Saliva collected in your mouth and you quickly swallowed, averting your gaze to the upper part of his face. His hair was styled like a rock star’s with a comma hanging over his forehead, his dark eyes glaring at the camera, charcoal black eyeliner making them seem deadly. His lips were parted ever so slightly, scarcely revealing his front teeth, and your gaze hooked on them just a little while longer than they should have. You remembered the moments he would bite them. When he would lick them. When he would smile with them; or kiss you with them. He looked stunningly hot and dangerous. You couldn’t believe you once had this man to yourself.
You had heart palpitations.
Slapping Yuyeon’s arm, you tried to get her attention. You needed to vent, otherwise you’d suffocate. Yuyeon was too preoccupied with the disturbing video playing which was why the girl sitting on your other side spoke up excitedly into your ear:
“Oh my god, that’s the captain of the police, Byun Baekhyun! My oldest brother went to the same school with him.” She stared at the picture. “He is so fucking hot.” She was basically salivating over the picture. With her words, you felt something move within you. What it was you weren’t sure, but you didn’t like it. It made your chest tighten up and your mood dampen. “There are many hot guys in that calendar but Baekhyun has his own charm. I’d go for him any minute.”
Not sparing any more time with the picture, you harshly turned over the page, revealing a mediocre looking police officer. He was very handsome, thanks to plastic surgery, but after seeing Baekhyun, all the males seemed dull and boring. Despite your wild thoughts, you muttered: “He’s okay, I guess.”
She nudged you with her elbow. “C‘mon, I can see the redness in your cheeks,” she giggled and just in that moment there was a loud moan coming from the laptop. You felt yourself burning up even more and you squirmed on the bed, warmth pooling in your belly. These feelings were so foreign to you.
“You’re friends with Oh Sehun, right?” She was adamant about talking to you. So you nodded in response. “Well, he is good friends with Baekhyun. Yeonhee, the one who lives in this room, got the calendar from him. She likes Sehun but I feel like she has secondary intentions. If she could get Baekhyun she would not hesitate to go after him,” she giggled into your ear just when another moan resembled the room.
You sighed. “Sehun is a good guy, you know?” you muttered to her and looked at her huge eyes, the way they seemed dilated. “I hope you can tell her not to toy with him.” You looked back down, now a doctor on the cover. A doctor?! “Or else she will deal with me and that won’t be nice.”
The girl went silent. Maybe you came off as rude but you didn’t have many friends; nor were you looking for more. So if someone played with someone that belonged to you, they could rest assured you wouldn’t let it slip. “Do you perhaps know Baekhyun?”
And there it went again. Silently, you cursed your luck. This man seemed to be everywhere you went and mentioned by anyone you talked to recently. You never realized just what power Baekhyun had over this city. Realizing you probably took more time to answer, you quickly shrugged your shoulders. “Just a little bit. He is quite older than us so I doubt he has interest in us, kids.” It hurt to say, but you knew it was the closest to the truth. Baekhyun made the age difference between him and you crystal clear and even used it as a barrier between the two of you. Even though he wanted you, it was a crucial reason for him to stop moving forward with you. Or more like, he wanted to take things slow. You scoffed out loud.
“Well, I guess he just hasn't met the right one. The young ones are always better than the older ones. The older guys are just too afraid to admit it,” she told you and leaned further away, most probably wanting to end the conversation. She must have noticed your defensive, indifferent position and figured she wouldn't get a juicy talk with you.
That was fine by you. Because right now your head was so full of him; you couldn’t produce a single comprehensive sentence without giving yourself away. You so wished to meet him again and talk to him. You so wished things would have gone differently between the two of you.
There were now harsh pantings in the background and you groaned inwardly. You slapped Yuyeon’s thigh to finally get her attention. At the impact, she jumped up and glared at you. “I’m leaving,” you mouthed, not wanting to wait for her reply, but she stopped you abruptly.
“Are you okay?” she whispered in your ear, but the disturbing noises were blocking out each of her words.
You only managed to nod quickly before scooting off the bed and, while ignoring the curious stares of the other girls, you quickly made your way out, desperately searching for fresh air that would hopefully help you clear your foggy mind.
Once out in the corridor, you inhaled deeply, trying to shake off the feelings in your body. How could you become so easily affected by a simple picture? It was the stupid background noise, added your brain and you rolled your eyes. You needed to let out your frustration and even though it was hard to believe, you decided you would make good use of it.
You would go running. For the first time. By yourself.
><
When you reached the running track, the main headlights of the field were already turned off, throwing the space into a darkness lit up by surrounding street lamps. That was good enough, as you seeked some kind of hiding. Deciding to pour your frustrations into your challenge in jogging, you padded over to the running field, feeling the ground softer under your running shoes. There was a group of boys wrapping up a football game while a lone man, a student, was making laps, unbothered by the minimal lighting.Without paying anymore attention to your surroundings, you slowly increased your walking into a light jog, not wanting to strain yourself too much. 
Your hair was flowing behind you in a high ponytail while the remnants of winter were biting into your skin, making your cheeks and nose red. You tried to focus on your breathing, wanting to make sure you wouldn't mess it up and therefore increase your stamina but it was fruitless as your mind immediately wandered off to the picture of Baekhyun in that calendar. It effectively quickened your heartbeat and you grew warm all over your body.
After two laps though, you became quickly tired and out of breath, your lungs on fire. There was an uncomfortable, sharp feeling in your side, the pain dull but making moving difficult nonetheless. The man who had been running the whole time without stopping didn't seem to break a single sweat the whole time.
“Oh, isn't that Lee?” you heard the boys talking to each other as they finally managed to clear up the field.
“The one with the boobs?”
You were fast to roll your eyes, angry tears burning up in your eyes at their careless words. Screw them all. Instead of staying on the field, you went inside the gym next to the field to get some water and try to calm down. Even though it was cold outside, a cold drink would hopefully help quieten the small rage inside of you. People like those were the ones you despised. They didn’t know anything about you and, naturally, you didn’t know anything about them. Yet, you were constantly under their scrutiny and sexualized in more than one way.
“Idiots,” you murmured to yourself, your skin heating up at the change of temperature once you entered the small building.
As you were filling up your bottle with the cold water, you heard the jerks entering the gym as well. They were laughing and joking amongst each other, their throaty laughs reaching your sensitive ears.
Cursing under your breath, you finished filling the bottle and turned to leave, just to stand face to face with all of them. They were grouped up on you, smirking.
Without sparing them another glance, you moved to walk around them but someone grabbed your arm, yanking you backwards, your back hitting the wall next to the water filter. It took you off guard and you managed to hit your head, too, and you scrunched up your face, hissing. “You piece of shit,” you spat angrily, your rage growing more when you noticed the dude’s hungry eyes on your chest.
“You surely are feisty! We heard so much from the seniors about you,” one of them spoke up, his eyes barely visible as they were shaped like slits, thin like pupils of a cat in broad daylight. “We all know you like to go against the rules.” A round of snickers resonated the otherwise empty space and you felt your heartbeat pick up in fear.
“Okay,” was your blunt answer and you once again wanted to step aside but the same jerk grabbed your arm, bringing you back. You gritted your teeth.
“You ain’t leaving just yet, little kitten,” he murmured darkly and this time, you felt like you wouldn’t be able to escape. “We won’t do anything bad. Just give us a little show of what you’re hiding underneath that hoodie of yours.”
If someone was living in your body right now, they’d know in an instant something terrible was happening, for your legs were shaking like a jelly, becoming one with the asphalt and therefore making you unable to move. Despite that, you scoffed, stubbornly insisting on showing your confident side. Those idiots wanted a reaction from you, but you wouldn’t give in. “Then turn on some porn. Though I’m not sure you’re ready to see that either with your tiny, premature, out-of-control dicks,” you said in a levelled voice, cutting each word off to emphasize the meaning so that their small brains would understand. “You ain’t shit,” you added when you saw some dudes growing red.
“You little bitch-“
There was an unexpected shadow that swooshed past and just in that second, too many things happened at the same time; a familiar scent hitting your nose; a sound of skin slapping skin reverberated the empty space followed by a groan. “She said to leave her, so respect a lady’s wish,” a low growl reached your ears and you almost fainted when you spotted short blonde hair and a handsome profile. Even from the side you could detect he was glaring, a stern gaze bringing out his authority and dominance that would make anyone quiver and render into submission. “Just a tip for the future if you want to get your dick wet,” added mockingly Baekhyun. He was staring down the group of young students for a little longer, surprisingly none of them making a fuss, before Baekhyun looked down at you, your shocked expression making your eyes much bigger than they usually were. “Let’s go.”
He didn’t wait as he started to walk ahead, only a couple of steps later looking behind his shoulder to double check whether you were following him or not.
Your legs had a mind on their own when they moved after Baekhyun, but your heart was beating crazily fast, the unexpected presence of the only male who was able to make you speechless and make you go crazy at the same time still stunning you. Why was he there? How did he know where you were? Oh, was it because you wished to meet him again? If so, then you wished all your wishes would become true this fast.
He led you outside of the gym, the annoyed voices of the boys barely reaching you now that they were out of ear shot. Cold air hit the dried sweat on your skin, making you shiver. Baekhyun stopped abruptly when he reached the track again and turned to look at you with an unreadable gaze. His heavy breathing was condensing into small puffs, his nose a little red. The chilly air biting his cheeks made his eyes water. You couldn’t stop staring at him and at the way he looked in that moment.
“You should-“
“Thank you,” you muttered at the same time as he spoke up.
Both of you went quiet right away and awkwardness creeped into the space between the two of you. Growing red, you averted your gaze, looking at the ground and hoping your wild heart beat would calm down.
“You should have been more careful,” he finally told you quietly, ignoring your word of gratefulness. There was a slight scolding undertone in his voice. “Those jerks are little kids who think with their dicks.”
You grew even more red at his words. Baekhyun must have heard their stupid request. Your throat restricted and your heart once again started to beat loudly. “I would have been okay,” you insisted. “But thank you anyway.” You meant it. You really did. 
Baekhyun saw you averting your gaze again and he took the time to observe you. You were still too young, but he definitely noted the way your facial features matured, with each passing year turning you into more of a grown woman while leaving the teen girl behind. Your hair was long and it seemed you lost some weight in your cheeks. He couldn’t imagine how much of a hard time you were having the whole time he wasn't by your side. And then you had perverts following you around. 
He cursed mentally, hating the simplest idea of anyone imaging you in a more mature way than you let on to a plain eye. Those bastards should have been thankful he didn’t actually use fists as he so wished. Because when they asked you to undress, he swore white spots of anger were blinding him, his emotions a wild hurricane of rage and hatred. The only thing moving him forward was to protect you even though you would have hated it.
“Just be careful next time,” he added gently, his features softening.
You looked up at him upon detecting the tone of his voice. “What are you even doing here?” Just then you took notice of his outfit and you recognized it. He was the person running when you arrived. He had been here the entire time, but you were swimming in sweet obliviousness. And just like that, the picture of him in the calendar popped up in your mind, making you avert your eyes right away. Heat pinked your cheeks which Baekhyun mistook for the coldness biting your cheeks.
“I come here to run,” he told you in a somber voice. “And we also work out here with Sehun so if you think I followed you here, you’re wrong.”
“I didn’t think you followed me here,” you retorted, wanting to roll your eyes.
“Well, on the contrary, I didn’t know you run too,” he said, a hint of tease present in his voice, though he didn’t smile. Showing his relief of you communicating with him could be a strategic bad step on his side.
You sighed at the mention of running and the reason behind it. “I’m doing a race at the festival so I have to practice. I’m not enjoying it and I’m not doing it out of my own will.”
“Then why would you do it if you don’t want to do it?” he asked, genuinely confused.
“Because I’m in the student council,” you replied almost in a whine. “They asked me and I couldn’t say no!” You threw your arms around, making it sound like a big deal. And for you, it was a big deal. You didn’t like how you were easily pushed around.
Baekhyun nodded, a small smile stretching his lips when he saw your comprehension. Sweet university life. “You must be very liked by everyone.”
You froze at that. That wasn’t true. How would you tell your ex the reason everyone was all over you was because you had huge tits and you were friends with Chul? “It’s not like that…”
Baekhyun nodded, noting your discomfort but deciding against questioning it. He didn’t think he was anywhere near the position to stick his nose into your business. For all he knew, he’d scare you away like that time in the bar but, frankly, he didn’t even utter a single word that night to give you a reason for your abrupt fleeing.
“So you run here often, huh,” he heard you say and then saw you shuffling your feet, the small stones of the track field rustling under them.
“Yeah, I do,” he replied almost breathily. There was an upcoming question hanging  in the air but he already forbade himself to hope.
You bit your lip harshly, bringing Baekhyun’s attention to the action. You were gnawing on it and you felt your body and mind betraying you. You were supposed to be mad at him. You despised this man standing in front of you so why was your heart beating frantically and, at his gentle tone, butterflies fluttering in your tummy? You felt warm just by his presence. He saved you. Yes, he didn’t even touch you, didn’t even take your hand like they do it in the movie. However, you witnessed the rage, the anger, the hatred, the need to fight but going against it so as not to cause problems. He cared about you, and he was still mature about it.
“Okay. Well, then, I guess I’ll see you around,” you muttered eventually, causing Baekhyun to deflate invisibly. An eager question cut through his mind: and when do you come to run here? I don’t like that you run here alone. 
“Where do you stay? I’ll take you home,” he spoke up casually.
“I live in the dorms, it’s no biggie,” you shrugged just when the group of boys flooded out of the gym, spotting you and Baekhyun. They were noisy once again and immediately took advantage of the situation when they shouted:
“If it isn’t the love birds! We thought you’d be home and fucking her by now but guess who didn’t get their dick wet now?” They laughed in unison, finding their words funny and mocking.
You pulled a disgusted face, though you reddened in embarrassment at their words, and looked up at Baekhyun who was glaring at them again. “Come, I’ll walk you to your dorms,” he muttered so that only you could hear and this time, he took a hold of your hand, his skin soft and a little dry in your sweaty palm. You were shocked at how quickly your hand clasped around his.
Cat calls reached the both of you as the boys approached you. “Woohoo, they are about to do it-“
Baekhyun was fast. Before you realized the warmth of his hand leaving yours, you heard a loud snap, his fist landing with the dude’s face. You squealed, covering your mouth in shock and just like that, Baekhyun had professionally put the lad down, having both his arms locked behind his back. It vastly made you remember when he did a similar move with your brother in his office at the police station, and chills ran down your spine.
Right. Baekhyun first arrested you, and then your brother who was still in jail until now. Baekhyun lied to you to get closer to you. Right. Right, right, right.
“Don’t ever even imagine her in your filthy mind,” Baekhyun’s voice thundered through the space. It kept growing more distant as you realized the hasty steps you were making backwards before you turned around and started speed walking out of the field and towards the dorms. Angry tears blocked out your vision and you quickly tried to rub your eyes, annoyed that you always let your tough stance sway whenever he was around. He dared to be kind to you. He dared to be soft to you. He dared to-
“Nari! Wait!”
Baekhyun was jogging towards you and your breath hitched in your throat, hearing his fast approaching steps. “Nari!”
Sooner than later he caught your wrist and wanted to stop you but you surprised him. You were now far off the field, not a single soul around. Your palm landed on his cheek and Baekhyun’s face snapped to his right side. “I hate you!” You shouted shakily, more tears spilling down your cheeks, the snot out of your nose. You were a mess. “I hate everything you put me through, Byun Baekhyun! You lied to me! Why did you lie to me?! I loved you!” You shouted again, and squeezed your eyes shut.
Baekhyun slowly turned his head back, your slap still stinging on his cheek. His eyes were wide but he knew exactly what was happening. “C’mon. Don’t hold back. Let it out. Hit me again,” he encouraged in a low tone that made you frustrated even more.
You were breathing raggedly and pushed him in the chest, making him stumble backwards. He could have easily fought you, he could easily stand still, not budging under you, but he let you. He knew you needed this to finally let go of your suppressed feelings and, hopefully, of the heavy past he made you go through. “You fucking liar! You fooled me, played with me, made me dream of something beautiful just for you to crash it! You ruined my family! I hate you! I hate you so much! You make me go crazy with hatred!!!”
Another strong push. He was surprised at how strong you actually were; when emotions spoke, people could be either extremely vulnerable or extremely strong. You seemed to be the opposite, for speaking up about your emotions made you scarily strong. “I hate that you made an idiot out of me! You fooled me and I trusted you the whole time! You locked up my brother! You did it in front of my eyes!! As if I didn’t matter shit to you! You were so fast to let me go when you thought I’m the criminal! That was all my worth to you!” you hiccuped, more cries taking over you as the painful memories kept swimming in front of your eyes, making you relive the emotions, the scenes. Those memories were blinding you and Baekhyun just let you open the Pandora box. You were breaking down.
It hit you too, that you never talked about your feelings. You couldn’t talk for a long while after being in shock at the events, and then you became one with ignorance towards your own emotions.
You took a deep breath and pushed him again just for you to lose your strength that was fueled by deep anger. Baekhyun couldn’t even pretend to step back. Your palms were still, pressing against his sturdy chest but you couldn’t make him move anymore. You were crying now, your voice shaking and your eyes still squeezed shut. “What did I do to deserve this… when all I did was love you honestly, purely,” you wailed, your voice sounding almost like a wolf’s howl in the empty streets of the campus. “I was just seventeen…”
Baekhyun was quiet the whole time, emotions of guilt eating him away just like they had been for the past year. His own heart was in pain and he knew how hurt you were but seeing you like this made his heart split into two. You were a complete, utter mess.
You didn’t know how much time passed without any of you speaking. The only thing you grew to realize was that you were in a tight embrace, the arms of your ex-lover protectively around you as his palm was drawing soothing circles into your back. His breathing seemed much more steady compared to yours, his scent filling your senses with comfort and familiarity you had been looking for ever since you met him a year ago. Your nose was on fire from crying, skin harshly clashing with the cold night air, but Baekhyun's presence made everything seem bearable. Even if it was just for a few minutes that you could pretend all was okay.
Squirming a bit, you moved away from him and he was fast to drop his arms, not wanting to upset you more. Your hand came up to wipe the tears and snot away, not caring you probably looked very un-ladylike in front of your eternal crush. “Leave.” You told him and turned around, heading towards the direction of your dorms. Your head was pounding, making you groan gently at the discomfort.
“Nari, wait,” he tried, making a step after you with a reached out hand but you turned your head as you walked, dismissing him with a single glance.
“I don’t want to listen right now.”
><><><><><><
A/N: sorry it took me a while to update. I hope some people were waiting and looking forward to this chapter even though it took me time ❤️ let me know your thoughts please? ^^
82 notes · View notes
kingreywrites · 3 years
Note
hopefully u don’t mind that I ask the same.. but the new Dream proposals?? I’d like to hear ur thoughts!! :))
Your opinion on _____?
I absolutely don't mind, there's like 70% of my brain devoted to the proposals always, and that's why this post is so long ghdhdhd apologies for that but i love them ur honour 😭💖
1st proposal: (BEA)
my beloved <3 ghdjdkd i know it's controversial but i just. feel like it's such well done conflict, that it could have been written so wrong for so many reasons but was SO well done and i actually love thinking about it. Honestly, this moment is kinda new dream's lowest point in the series, the one moment when their deep love for each other isn't enough to make them be on the same page, and the one moment when the "fairy tale" kinda stops and they really start building their relationship together and I!! LOVE THAT!! I also love how it all came to this, how their own issues made this possible (Rapunzel who has been raised to cater to someone else's happiness at her own personal cost all her life just cannot bring herself to admit anything about how she feels because Eugene is happy and she wants to keep it that way; Eugene who's given everything he could have wanted and more, and has his own abandonment issues to work through, just trying to secure this because he wants them both to be happy and he's scared that it won't last, and, in doing that, missing the discomfort Rapunzel is herself hiding.... that is very good conflict okay)
AND i also very very much love how it was resolved within the episode. We always say new dream is a very healthy relationship, and it's true but like it's the most obvious exactly when things are going wrong between them! They can communicate when they're happy and nothing is happening, but that proposal shows that even when there is a serious conflict between them, even when they actually did not manage to communicate well and Eugene fucked up and put Rapunzel in a tough spot, THEY ARE STILL ABLE TO TALK IT OUT, APOLOGIZE AND ACTIVELY WORK ON THEMSELVES TO MAKE SURE THIS WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN. Sorry for the caps but holy shit. Eugene's apology at the end is such an amazing scene because he acknowledges what he did wrong, he apologises, he also stops rapunzel from apologising because he knows it's not her fault, and then he admits that he still needs to work on himself to understand what went wrong, that not everything is magically fixed because he said sorry, and he tells her exactly what course of action he's gonna take and i just ghdjdk THE FACT THAT THIS PROPOSAL CAN BE USED AS ANTI NEW DREAM BY SOME PEOPLE WHEN IT EXACTLY SHOWS HOW AND WHY THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS ABLE TO WORK EVEN AT ITS LOWEST POINT DRIVES ME CRAZY
(i think about the first proposal a normal amount I swear ghdjdkd anyway onto the others)
Second proposal: (1st one in BTCW)
literally the funniest one because like
Eugene: i was one of the best thieves in the world, master of lying and deceiving people
Rapunzel: did you just say... marry me?
Eugene:
Eugene: Larryme. i said Larryme, the name of... my fake old dog
1/10, worst save i have ever seen, he gets a pity point because i like him and the name Larryme is hilarious i wanna meet this dog
ghdhdkd joking aside it's always funny to see this one brought up as him making an ill-timed proposal again when like, the man didn't even get to try it fgdjdjdk the way it was going, i can definitely see him put off the proposal because lance and hookfoot's advice got to him, but i at least know for sure he wouldn't have done it like that in the caravan 😔
3rd proposal: (end of BTCW)
WHY IS THIS ONE FORGOTTEN ABOUT SO MUCH IT'S A HUGE TURNING POINT IN THAT WHOLE ARC and like!! Eugene is right in that they are very much not in the right time or place to get married, and though he sorta misses Rapunzel's eagerness it's actually a good thing he makes sure they're not rushing this because she's still worried of losing him (he's literally keeping his promise of being patient with her but also he makes sure she's patient with herself too!!) BUT. But, from that point, from literally the first episode of the second season and onward, it's established that Rapunzel wants to get married with Eugene, they both do, and they are on the same page about it. It's not a nebulous distant future in Rapunzel's mind anymore, it's not an anxiety-fueled desire to protect their love for Eugene, they just. do want to get married because they love each other and want to live that together. I cannot stress enough how !!!!!!!!! i am about that asfgsjfj so like a very good proposal, highlighting that they can take their time together which is very good very wholesome
3rd and a half proposal: the Tromus One (rapunzeltopia)
Does this one count? ghdgdh my guy tromus really said the only way to keep her into the perfect dream version of her world where she is completely happy is to make sure she's with eugene 💖 we thank him for that and for the parents au and for the demon au too fgjdhdhf i gotta say, I like how it also highlights how much Eugene has changed and how their relationship is much more solid now. Like, genuinely, after all they went through, Eugene wouldn't propose like that to her anymore, and he also showed that he's ready to say no to make sure that she has the space to discover herself and be certain of her choice. Also I like this proposal because the joy on Eugene's face when she says yes is very cute okay I KNOW IT'S A DEMON BUT IT'S ALSO MY BOY
4th proposal: (Cassandra's Revenge)
ASGSGDHDJDHDHDJJHLSDGSDSG I LITERALLY WILL NEVER RECOVER FROM THE GIRL WHO HAS EVERYTHING REPRISE. NEVER EVER I GENUINELY FEELS GIDDY LISTENING TO IT EVEN NOW AND THEN WHEN SHE PROPOSED AND HE WAS LIKE "FOR ME?" AND IT WAS THE SOFTEST THING IN THE WORLD I DIED
i'm also so happy rapunzel got to try to propose a second time because hell yes she would and like i'm glad it wasn't ever questionned and that eugene got to be over the moon because she oves him just as much as he does and !!!!!!! FLUFFY HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS WHERE BOTH PEOPLE WOULD DO ANYTHING TO MAKE THE OTHER ONE HAPPY ARE ALL I WANT IN LIFE ACTUALLY
5th and final one: THE proposal :')
It's literally perfect what can I even say ghdhdh like. the dialogue? Eugene reminding her of his promise, making sure she knows it's a choice, us seeing how far they've come together since the beginning and how it's literally the next natural step for them instead of a tacked on "happy ending" thing?? The sheer emotion and happiness in their voices and their expressions, the intimacy, the gorgeous bi flag sky behind them, the parallel to I see the light, THE EVERYTHING?? this proposal is the best proposal to ever proposal, no one is doing it like them
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