#anyways it's past 2 am i should have gone to sleep hours ago

[nar-nia]

heeseung x reader

word count: ~ 700

warnings: angst

“I just need to prioritize my work right now,” Heeseung shrugged.

“And not me,” you almost whispered.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing.” You buried your face into your book again, shielding it from Heeseungs glance.

“That didn't sound like nothing. What is it?”

“It's nothing. Forget about it - just go back to your work.”

You could feel Heeseung staring at you for one, two, three seconds, but finally he nodded and put on his jacket. “Fine. I offered to talk.”

It didn't take long until you heard the door close, your hands gripping the book tightly as you tried to hold back your tears.

~~~

“Do you want to say what's wrong or are you just going to stare at your plate?”

Heeseungs words made you look up, you hadn't even realized that you just kept digging around with your fork.

“Oh - I’m just thinking about some stuff.”

“Can you hurry up please? You know I’m busy, I barely have time for this dinner anyway.”

You didn't expect to hear annoyance in Heeseungs tone, but it was clearly there, accompanied by the constant tapping of his foot.

“I’m sorry… I didn't know you had to go back to work again. I just wanted to spend time with you.”

“I’m meeting up with some friends.”

“Okay...” He hadn't even acknowledged your wish. “You can go - I can eat alone. Have fun please.”

You barely had time to react when Heeseung put on his jacket and almost ran out the door, the sound of your heart breaking perfectly timed with the closing door.

~~~

It was almost midnight and you were tossing and turning around in your empty bed. Normally you would have gone to sleep 2 hours ago so you could at least function at your job, but you had been waiting for Heeseung, wanting to spend at least a bit of time with him. But he hadn't returned yet, no text, nothing. You couldn't stop the feeling of loneliness spreading all around you, covering you in cold darkness as you grabbed your phone, texting Heeseung a little goodnight message.

~~~

1 am. No answer.

2 am. Still nothing.

3 am. He had seen the message, but no answer.

4 am.

5 am.

6 am. You heard the door opening, a clearly drunk Heeseung stumbling into your bed as you just got up to start getting ready. He didn't even say hello as he walked past you.

~~~

“Y/n, please move. I told you I need to leave.” Heeseung groaned, his whole body screaming exhaustion. You were standing in front of the door, tears already welling up in your eyes as you just stared at him, trying to find the right words to say.

“You could make it less obvious that you don't care about me, you know,” you finally managed to get out.

“What?”

“I don't know what I did that made you stop liking me. Or stop wanting to spend time with me, but whatever it was I am genuinely sorry.” It was getting harder to hold back sobs, but somehow you managed. “I’m sorry, but I hate this. We have barely talked those last few weeks, you always say you're busy. Everything else is more important to you than your own girlfriend!”

“That's not true.”

You stared at him. “I understand that you're busy with work. And I understand that you want to meet your friends. But is it really too much to ask for some time with you too?”

“I haven't seen my friends in a while. You should understand that,” Heeseung huffed. “They're important to me.”

“I should be important to you too, Heeseung,” you mumbled. “I have barely seen you too.”

“You are.”

“Am I?” Now the tears were really flowing. “Because you're doing a shit job at showing it. And it makes me feel awful. I hate myself for how often I stare at my phone or the door, hoping you’ll come to spend some time with me. I can't do this anymore.”

Heeseung just glared at you. “Do you want to break up?”

“Do you? Because it doesn't feel like you want to be around me at all.”

“Answer my question first.”

Oh. Your heart sank, a sob breaking free. “I just want to spend time with my boyfriend.”

Heeseung nodded. You saw it almost in slow motion, the way he put on his jacket and walked towards the door, going right through it as you stumbled to the side. He had made his choice.

feedback is always appreciated <33 i'm sending you all a big hug.

#heeseung #lee heeseung #heeseung enhypen #enhypen #heeseung x reader #enhypen x reader #heeseung oneshot #enhypen oneshot #heeseung fanfiction #enhypen fanfiction

[milaisreading]

PART 2

Couples:

Yandere!MSBY 4 x Kageyama Twin!Reader

Side couple:

Komori Motoya x Kageyama Twin!Reader

Warnings: Cheating, non-con(not too much), obsessive and possessive behavior, general yandere tendencies. This is my first time writing explicit content like this, sorry if it's boring:/

PS: Send in requests if u have any...

Part 1:

"So how have you been? Everything going ok with Komori-san?" Tobio's voice sounded through (Y/n)'s apartment as she cooked her dinner.

"Yeah! Everything has been great with us, tho the distance is really killing me, but we phone each other every day." (Y/n) answered back, waiting for Tobio to speak up again.

"Well, you did pick pretty far away cities, Shizuoka and Osaka I mean. But as long as you find time to call each other, it should be fine." (Y/n) smiled bitterly, nodding her head Kageyama's words

"Yeah, but enough about my love life, what about you? With how many fangirls and those fansites you have, you must have someone in mind." She teased, already imagining her brother blushing at her words.

"You know I am not interested in that, at least not now. Volleyball is more fun."

"You should honestly think of marrying it at this point." (Y/n) joked, not surprised by his answer.

"Shut it! But anyways, I need to go now. You will be off to Shizuoka this weekend?" Tobio wondered as (Y/n) went to pick up her phone and turn off the speaker.

"Well I was planning to, but Motoya told me he will come. Something about getting away from Shizuoka and all." The med student answered, recalling the conversation she had with the pro athlete a few days a

"Well at least you won't have to travel after the exam then. By the way, did Hinata text you at all in the past 2 weeks? Since the game with Komori-san's team, it's been radio silent from him."

"Hmm? Now that you mention it, I didn't hear anything from him either. Could that loss bumped him out so much?"

"Who knows. He can be off at times, but I am sure he will come around. Anyways, I got to go now. Hoshiumi-san wanted to take Hirugami-san and I out for a drink."

"Have fun! Give them greetings from me!"

With that, they ended the call and (Y/n) went back to making her noodles so that she can return back to studying as soon as possible. Groaning, the med student went through her phone, trying to find the last few notes she needed to revise.

"Just this one more exam and then I will have some time for myself..."

She yawned, looking at the clock on her wall, groaning.

"I will barely catch any sleep these days..." (Y/n) groaned as she put the phone away and went to eat her dinner, her mind going from her exam to the orange haired volleyball player.

'He really has been acting off... ever since graduation to be honest...'

She thought in worry.

With Hinata...

The man tossed and turned in his bed. He was supposed to go to sleep hours ago, but he just couldn't. Every time he closed his eyes, the image of (Y/n) and Komori flooded his mind, and he just ends up angry.

"Stupid Komori...is it his height that makes him attractive? His looks are average at best.. or his money? If (Y/n) was in need of financial support, she could have called me-"

Hinata's rambling was cut off by his phone ringing, so he quickly went to answer it.

"Sakusa? Why are you up so late?" The orange haired man wondered.

"I was talking with my aunt over some family meet up later this month, and she let the information about Motoya visiting Osaka slip out... do you know where I am going?"

Sakusa said sternly, clear annoyance lacing his voice as he mentioned his cousin.

"Do...do you think it's the right time?" Hinata wondering, his eyes going wide as he remembered the plan.

"Another time we won't have. We need to break them up... Aunt told me that he plans on proposing to (Y/n) soon."

Hinata's eyes widened and he clenched his fists.

"Ok...did you think of a plan to break them up?"

"Yeah, I will handle that."

"Good, I can't wait till that pest is gone."

"You and I both."

Sakusa sighed from the other side.

With Atsumu...

Atsumu groaned as he kept on stroking his cock as he went through the pictures he saved of (Y/n). The pictures were nothing special, just some from the beach he found on her Ig, but those were enough to rile him up. The image of the young woman underneath him, panting, crying and begging for release kept playing inside his head.

'(Y/n)... please...'

Groaning, the faux blonde as he came all over his hand. Panting, he got up from his bed and went to clean himself up. Once he was done he went back to his bedroom, sighing sadly as the images he had were just pure fantasies, the kind he wanted to be true.

Huffing, he sat down on his bed and scrolled through (Y/n)'s social media, smiling when he saw a new story was posted.

But, that smile faded away as soon as he saw that it was a picture of her books and a cup of coffee.

'Why is she up so late? It's nearly 1 in the morning. Shouldn't that useless boyfriend of hers make sure she is sleeping?!'

"Stupid! I knew that guy was no good! Why did she pick this prick of all?"

Atsumu's stare hardened as he thought of the brown haired libero. Back when he met Komori at the training camp, he thought of him as a possible friend. But now...now that he was with the girl of his dreams, there was no way for him to have that position.

"I wanted to so desperately see him cry that night. Show him and (Y/n) who the better one is...better player and better boyfriend, but..." Atsumu sighed as he rubbed his face, feeling like crying.

"But the whole time (Y/n) kept distracting me. That smile and her cheers, wonder how it would feel like to have her cheer on me, wear my jersey-"

Atsumu stopped his monolog as a message popped up. Quickly opening it, he saw that it was Bokuto.

'Komori is coming to Osaka tomorrow. We need to break them up this weekend. Sakusa said he is planning to propose.'

The message set an already frustrated Atsumu on fire. There was no way he will let that Komori put a ring on her pretty little finger.

"Besides, he can't afford what (Y/n) really deserves, unlike the rest of us. And Komori (Y/n) just sounds wrong."

The next day...

"I honestly don't know if I will pass this one, but the most important part is that it's over!" (Y/n) cheered as she walked out of the building.

"I am sure you will pass. When will the results be?" Miwa asked from the other side of the phone.

"In like...5 days or so. Unless the professor starts grading them today."

The med student yawned, already dreaming of her soft bed.

"Sleepy? Are you off home?" Miwa asked, worried for the youngest sibling.

"Yeah. Motoya will arrive in Osaka later tonight, so that gives me some time to rest."

"Alright. I have to go now since a client arrived. Have fun you two, but not too much~" The older woman teased, causing (Y/n) to blush a little as she said her goodbyes.

'She can be too much at times.' (Y/n) groaned. All of a sudden, the young woman felt someone grab ther shoulder, causing her to jump away and turn around.

"Easy there (Y/n), it's just us!" Sighing in relief, (Y/n) noticed the familiar golden and black eye.

"Bokuto-san, Sakusa-san, what a surprise! What are you two doing here?" (Y/n) asked, smiling as the two athletes took off their masks.

"We were just walking by after practice! Do you live here somewhere?" Sakusa asked flatly, already knowing all the information.

"Oh no, my university is in this location tho! How are you two? Has practice been going well?" (Y/n) asked while smiling, causing Bokuto to blush a little, meanwhile Sakusa hid his by putting his mask back on.

'Adorable...my (Y/n) is so adorable.' The black haired thought as Bokuto spoke up.

"It's been great. Today we were let go a little sooner than usually. The coach and captain were a little easier today, after all the hard training before."

"Yeah, they got a lot stricter after our match with Komori's team." Sakusa explained, getting more annoyed at his cousin than he already was. (Y/n) blinked for a moment, and then remembered what he was talking about.

"Sorry to hear that you two, but you guys were still amazing. I guess it depends on the luck you have that day."  She answered back, trying to lighten up their moods. Which seemed to work, as Bokuto stopped pouting, sending her a grin soon after. Sakusa seemed to lose his annoyed demeanor, but his eyes stayed as passive as possible, so she wasn't sure about him.

"Really?! Did you see that service ace I delivered at the beginning?! Worked on it for a while." Bokuto boasted.

"Yeah! That was pretty cool! I am happy that you hard work paid off. Hope the next time you performed it, it will be the winning points."

Bokuto grinned at the praise and continued talking to the younger. Sakusa clenched his fists are the sight, envying how easy the conversation between the two was. How familiar they are to each other. It's not like Sakusa didn't talk to her before, she visited his place often with Komori, but he always had a hard time talking to her.

"Hey uhmm... the two of us, Atsumu and Hinata are free tonight, want to go out for dinner?"

The black haired boy's question surprised not only (Y/n), but Bokuto as well.

"Well that sounds nice Sakusa-san, but Motoya will come over tonight, so I really can't. And I don't think it's that much of a smart idea, I don't want to piss some of your fangirls off."

(Y/n) shuddered, remembering how some of the girls from her class came into her, after pictures of her and Atsumu talking surfaced on social media.

Sakusa and Bokuto ignored the part with Motoya, as they were more concerned over the 2nd part.

"Say...none of the fans caused you any trouble?"

"Ahh...all I can really say is that Atsumu-san's fans love him a little too much." Was all she said, which made alarm bells go off in both of them.

"But nothing to worry about! I already handled it! Anyways, I need to go now, gotta rest a little till Motoya arrives! Bye!" (Y/n) said, walking off quickly, trying to avoid any form of questioning from either of the two.

"What are you doing?" Bokuto wondered, his gaze switching from (Y/n) retreating form to Sakusa's, who was dialing a number on his phone.

"I will call my dear cousin over for a drink... the plan is going in action tonight."

"Alright! Let me go and call Hinata then." The Fukurodani alumni grinned, excited about tonight.

"You are meeting up with Sakusa-san? Why didn't you tell me earlier?" (Y/n) asked the brown haired libero over the phone.

"Sorry, it came out of the blue, I will try not to stay for too long with him... you are not mad?" Komori asked from the other side, gulping as he thought of her reaction.

"Why would I be mad, Sakusa-san is your family after all. Just, tell me sooner next time." She asked softly. There was really no reason for her to be annoyed, aside from him not informing her sooner.

"Sorry, I really am. But I have something for you, which might make it up for my mistake." Komori said sheepishly, causing (Y/n) to grow curious.

"What would that be?"

"You'll see! But I need to hang up now, sorry."

"Ok, have a safe trip! And have fun."

Turning off her phone, (Y/n) sighed and went to her living room, opting to watch a movie or two till Komori arrives.

A few hours had passed and (Y/n) was beginning to get nervous, not only was Komori supposed to arrive at her place an hour ago, but he also wasn't answering his phone.

"Should I call Motoya again? I have been calling him for the past 20 minutes and nothing... Maybe Sakusa-san will answer me." (Y/n) muttered nervously as she dialed the athlete's number.

She didn't have to wait for too long, as he answered his phone quickly.

"Hello? (Y/n)?"

"Sakusa-san! Thank God you answered, is Motoya with you? Why isn't he answering his phone?"

'I probably come off as controlling, but fuck it!' She gulped, waiting for an answer from the man.

"Motoya? Why would he be with me? I am out with Hinata."

(Y/n)'s heart dropped at those words.

'There... But why would he say?'

"Hello? (Y/n), you still on your phone?" Sakusa's voice interrupted her thoughts and she quickly answered him.

"Uhmm...I... Motoya isn't with you 100%? He said you two would meet up for a drink."

"No, we never agreed to that. I have practice tomorrow, so that's out of question-"

"I need to go. Bye, sorry for interrupting you two." (Y/n) didn't let Sakusa finish as she hung up and went to call Komori again, her heart racing and alarm bells ringing.

"Come on...answer please....Motoya..." She desperately begged, thinking of the worst possible scenario.

'He wouldn't... Motoya wouldn't cheat. There is no way, but why else would he lie?'

"Why aren't you answering?!" (Y/n) screamed as she threw her phone on the couch, tears escaping her eyes.

"Please...let this be all a prank, I swear I won't be mad. Please-"

A notification popped up on her phone, and (Y/n) quickly ran to her phone, thinking this might be Komori. Unlocking her phone, (Y/n) read the name of a private Ig account, which sent her a few pictures. With a heavy heart, she opened the message, only, to her horror find pictures of Komori sleeping next to a unfamiliar girl. The sight of the woman smiling next to a seemingly naked Komori made her heart break and she quickly turned of her phone.

Shaking and sobbing, she plopped on the couch and started crying harder, the pathetic feelings of sadness and betrayal taking over her body.

"Motoya...why?"

"Should we go now?" Hinata asked as Sakusa finished his call with Atsumu.

"Yeah, the woman sent those photos to (Y/n) and already left. With how much Motoya drank, it will be a wonder if he remembers anything." Hinata nodded his head as they walked of to Sakusa's car.

"All the better for us, (Y/n) will just think that he is lying and trying to pretend nothing happened."

Sakusa silently nodded his head, grinning like a madman that this years old nightmare is coming to an end.

'Finally she will be mine...tonight is the night.' The black haired man hummed as him and Hinata walked off to the meeting spot.

A few hours passed by and (Y/n) was sound asleep in her bed, all the crying drained her, and she just wanted to shut off everyone. So much so that she didn't even answer her brother or sister's calls. The silent apartment was soon disrupted by the sound of the entrance door being opened, and two figures walked inside.

"Shouldn't we wait for Hinata and Atsumu?" Bokuto whispered as Sakusa nodded his head.

"I really could care less where those two idiots are right now. Besides, we should go and prepre our little princess." The Itachiyama alumni muttered as he walked to (Y/n)'s bedroom, his whole body shaking in excitement along with Bokuto's.

"Finally, I have been dreaming of this moment for so long." Bokuto grinned as Sakusa slowly opened the bedroom door. Breath hitching up, Bokuto walked inside and up to (Y/n)'s bed. The man gulped as he looked at her sleeping face, her puffy, red cheeks and pout causing his cock to harden.

Groaning, Sakusa slowly removed her covers, enjoying the sight of her vulnerable figure. Bokuto let out a a sigh as he sat on the bed and caressed (Y/n)'s hair.

"I can't wait for those two." Sakusa finally said as he hovered over the woman, and slowly grabbed onto her pajama pants, pulling them down.

"Finally." Bokuto grinned as Sakusa pulled off her pants, licking his lips when he saw her panties. Quickly unbottoning her pajama shirt, he was more than pleased to see her bare boobs.

"Naughty girl~" Bokuto giggled as Sakusa started kissing up (Y/n)'s leg, her soft skin turning him more and more on.

'And that bastard Motoya kept all of this to himself?! And with how he is, he probably didn't please her to the fullest.'

Bokuto was meanwhile kneading (Y/n)'s nipples, watching in pleasure as the woman started groaning and moaning, her eyes slowly opening, looking at her surrounding in confusion.

"Looks like my little slut is finally up? Look Omi!"

"Wh-what th?!-" (Y/n) shrieked as she realized what was going on, desperately trying to wiggle her body out of this. But all of this was to no avail as their grips on her body tightened.

"Shh baby, we will take great care of you. Just be compliant."

"Get off of me! What the hell?!" (Y/n) glared up at Bokuto as she tried to push him off. This pissed the white/black haired man off, causing him to grab her arms and pin them down, sending the woman a warning growl.

"Don't make it so unnecessarily hard, baby. We know you want this, you are all wet just from our touch." Sakusa cooed as he inserted a finger inside, enjoying the surprised expression and her attempts to hide her moan.

"Don't hold back baby, I want to hear all of the noises." The black haired man laughed, insisting a 2nd and 3rd finger shortly after.

"Stopp~" (Y/n) moaned out as Bokuto played with one of her nipples and sucked the other, moaning at how soft she felt.

"Good girl, just lay back and enjoy it." Sakusa smirked as he pumped his fingers faster and faster, enjoying how hee moans were getting louder and louder.

"You smell so nice... I have been waiting for so long. We all have." Bokuto muttered in between of kissing her neck, leaving a bite mark or two in the process.

"Wha-what are you t-talking about~" (Y/n) panted as she felt her climax approach her.

"We all have had our eyes set on you since high school, and it really enraged me...us to see you with my cousin of all people. But you will soon learn not to mess with us, baby~" Sakusa chuckled as the younger came onto his finger, enjoying the moan she let out.

"So sensitive... Atsumu and Hinata will sure enjoy this." Bokuto teased as he wiped her tears away, kissing her cheek right after.

"Please...please don't go any further... Sakusa, Motoya will be-"

(Y/n) flinched as both men glared and let out low growls.

"Still thinking of that pest? While two of the most sought after athletes in the country are about to give you the night of your life?" Sakusa said as her got up, signaling to Bokuto to change positions. (Y/n) was about to use the moment her hands were free to get up, but Sakusa stopped her.

"You are not going anywhere. The fun is just starting." Sakusa said as (Y/n) watched in horror as Bokuto started taking off his pants. Then suddenly, the younger heard her bedroom door open, and a familiar voice fill up the room.

"Hey! Why didn't ya wait for us?!" Atsumu growled as Hinata whined at the betrayal. The black haired man rolled his eyes along with Bokuto.

"Next time don't take so long. Now wait till Omi and I are finished."

"Not fair! I know (Y/n) longer than any of you, I should do it first!"

"Deal with it, Hinata." Sakusa said, looking down at (Y/n)'s teary eyes, the sight causing him to grow harder than he already was.

The next day, (Y/n) woke up feeling sick and body aching from all the bruises and bite marks the 4 left on her body. But besides that, a weird form of relief washed over her body as she noted that neither of the men were with her. Perhaps, she thought, they left or something. But, just as she started hoping that, her door opened and revealed Hinata's smiling figure. (Y/n) cringed at how normal he was acting, as if he and his friends didn't force themselves on her last night.

"You are awake! Just in time too, Omi made us breakfast." Hinata said cheerfully as he approached her bed, causing the woman to flinch away as he touched her shoulder.

"Huh? Was I that rough with my marking last night? Sorry baby, I will be gentler next time." (Y/n) looked at the grinning man in horror as he said that.

"N-next time?"

"Of course, did you think this was a one time thing?" Gulping, she felt Hinata grab the back of her head and rest his forehead against hers.

"We all are in love with you for years, and if you thought we would leave after we got a taste of how sweet you are...you are dead wrong." Hinata said, the crazy and lovesick look in his eyes made her realize in just how much trouble she was in.

"Besides...of you don't want Komori's career to end in a cheating scandal, you will play the role of the obedient little kitten." Atsumu said from the doorway. (Y/n) moved to look at him in shock as Hinata started kissing her neck, moaning at the pleasant smell.

"How do you-"

"How do we know? Easy, we set him up. You should have seen how much we had to make him drink to convince him that woman was you." Her eyes widened as Atsumu chuckled and walked up to her bed, patting her head and kissing the top of it.

"Remember, your body and soul belong to us from now on, so better not look at any other man, or else these pictures of Komori are going into the public."

(Y/n) felt tears start rolling down her cheeks as Atsumu showed her those again. She knew there was no way out, if only she knew sooner how crazy these 4 were...maybe she would have been more careful. Maybe she would have stayed in Tokyo or even in Miyagi to study,but with the way they were, (Y/n) doubted this distance would have prevented any of this. Atsumu chuckled at the hopeless look the younger had on her face and leaned in to lick some of the tears away.

'Finally I have you hopeless and desperate, just like I always wanted it.'

@kei-tsuki21 @thebrunetteavenger @sicklyinlove @kittykatiekat @torriblack97 @locogvrl @omi-kunslysol @yuushs

#haikyuu!! #hq!! manga #yandere haikyuu #hinata shoyo #yandere hinata #haikyuu miya atsumu #yandere atsumu #sakusa kiyoomi #yandere sakusa x reader #bokuto koutarou #yandere bokuto #yandere msby #msby x reader #kageyama tobio #timeskip haikyuu #haikyuu dark content #yandere x reader

[ssahopelessly]

Something Wonderful

Part of the Sweet Emotion collective.

Synopsis: Despite Spencer being gone for days at a time, the world has found time to squeeze in a miracle for the happy couple. This is the story of when good news finally found them, and how Spencer reacted to it.

A/N: As mentioned above, this is the first addition to the Sweet Emotion collective. Spencer doesn’t heavy cry in this one but eventually he will. Here’s a lovely intro dose of Dad Spencer. Enjoy!

Warnings: fluff, anxious reader, Spencer getting barely any sleep, allusions to previous sexy times, one mention of Will (LaMontagne Jr.), pregnancy announcement, let me know any I missed

Word Count: 1.5k

Masterlist

There was a certain element to the air that morning that made it latch onto any surface it landed on. It clung to the breath that you would inhale the moment you stepped out of your door and you could feel it on your fingertips as you closed the doorknob behind you. It wasn’t quite a thick fog, but it was enough to fracture the sunlight that rose in the sky above it, manipulating the cloud into just a blanket of low light illuminating the city below it that morning. The light flowed into the open windows that morning to start everyone’s day, or at least the day of those who hadn’t already been awake.

The only problem was, I was already awake and I’m not even sure if I slept at all through the night, maybe only considerably when Spencer came home as I don’t recall hearing him enter the house. If anything it was my anxiety that kept me awake through the night because hidden in my side of the closet was a metaphorical explosive and I was anxiously anticipating telling him about it. The explosive in question was a positive pregnancy test, sealed and wrapped in an evidence bag waiting for Spencer. But he wasn’t home when I took the test, and it was almost too late last night for me to give him the news. To a point, I was unsure how he would even wake up this morning and make it to work. As always though, Spencer was a man of many secrets and many ways, it only eased my anxieties a bit to finally have one over him. “Did you even sleep at all last night?” I asked from our shared bed as he reentered the bedroom from the bathroom.

“We got back around 2:00 am so… about four hours of sleep?” He said it so nonchalantly from his spot in front of the mirror before dipping into the closet to pick a tie for the day. The instant panic didn’t set in until I heard something hit the wall of the walk-in space. Springing up from the bed, I ran over to the closet.

I found him sitting on the small ottoman we had managed to place in there, slipping his feet into his shoes. “And you’re expected to go back to work this morning?” I was leaning on the entryway of the closet now, trying not to look at the spot where I had hid the test. He was a profiler for crying out loud and knew how to read my body language as well as he knew how to read latin. But in the quick glance I gave, the pile had seemed undisturbed, hoping the secret was still intact.

“Paperwork is paperwork. I could do it from here but I thought I would spare exposing you to SSA Dr. Reid again.” He slipped past me in the door frame and back into the bedroom, moving to the free standing mirror in the corner of the room.

”Yeah, because that was so horrible the last time.” I gave him a scowl and shake of my head as he watched me from the mirror glass, adjusting his tie around his neck. The last time was a little over a week ago and involved his work issued handcuffs and improper citations of governmental law. He turned to face me and I moved to be in front of him, reaching a hand up to his hair. Running it through, starting at the front of his hairline and then back, his head fell with the motion, a low hum slipping through his nose now.

“It’s just closing paperwork. I should be home in a few hours anyway and then I’m all yours for the weekend.” A smile pulled at my lips as a hand ran down the fabric of his tie, smoothing it back down to his chest. He reached over to the end of the bed where his suit jacket for the day had been resting, fresh from the dry cleaning plastic. I realised my time with him was starting to run into the shortrun now as he was almost nearly ready to leave for work. But I needed him distracted before I just put life changing news into the palm of his hands.

“Oh-“ I grabbed onto his forearm, maybe a little too hard, but definitely in a convincing urgent manner. “Can you… in the kitchen, can you get down our nice dinner dishes? The Clemmons next door are both sick and I promised them a warm home cooked meal today.” Putting on my best smile and doe eyes for him, he gave me a gentle roll of his eyes before kissing the top of my head.

”If I’m late-“

”I have to call Prentiss, I know. Please and thank you!” I called after him. Once Spencer was gone and cleared down the stairs into the lower level, I took off for the closet. Slipping my hand through the two folded sweaters I had hidden it between, I got a grip on it with my index and middle finger before withdrawing it from it’s secret spot. Through the plastic of the evidence bag (I had Will get from his precinct for me), was the stick of plastic and modern medicine, the hours old result still present on the tiny screen. Wrapping the loose plastic around it, I kept a firm hold of it as I tried to sneak back downstairs to be with him again. Only to find him, leaning against the kitchen counter, the cabinet where the dinner dishes I had referred sat open, dishes still on the top shelf. There was a small smile on his lips as he looked at me, breaking his focus from the floor. His arms were crossed over his chest though, like he expected this to play out the way it did.

“You don’t cook for our neighbors. You barely cook for the holidays.” He started, pushing himself away from the counter as he moved to stand in front of me. “What is it?”

“It’s nothing.” I had started, which was in every way the worst lie I could’ve told and Spencer knew so as we both noticed the inflection in my voice. “It’s just- I wanted to make sure you had this before you went to work.” Reaching for one of his hands, I pulled it between us before placing the pregnancy test in his open palm, a distinct chill running up my spine now.

“An evidence bag?” He picked up the plastic bag now, letting it unravel between us before he finally realised the contents of the bag. I watched him, breath stilled in my lungs, as he read the screen and then his eyes flashed back up to meet mine. “What?” Every letter had been laced with a sense of shock and disbelief.

“I’m pregnant.” I watched as his eyes grew to a size like they were going to pop from his skull. A smile moved his lips in a direction toward his ears, and for a moment he stopped breathing. “Spencer?”

“That’s amazing!” I found myself pressed to his body as his arms secured around me and my feet left the ground as he spun us around in the small space of our kitchen. “We’re going to have a baby!”

“We are!” I cheered once before he was pulling me in for a kiss. It wasn’t until he pulled back though, I felt the sudden chill on my cheek that was often only left behind by tears. But they were not my tears this time around. “Spencer, you’re crying.” I stated quite rather point blankly though he must’ve known. He didn’t even bother trying to wipe them away.

”We’re gonna have a baby.” He repeated once again, maybe more to himself to further establish the reality. All I could do was nod as he pulled me in for another kiss, hands firm on both sides of my face. “I’m- we’re going to be parents.” I nodded once more. I wanted to stay in that moment forever, but opening my eyes remembered the contingency of our morning.

“Spencer, you have to go to work.” My hands were resting along his wrists as he used both of his hands to hold onto the test now.

”I’m calling out. They can do paperwork without me.” The plastic bag was being wrapped back around the test as he tucked it into his jacket pocket, pulling me in closer as his hands found a spot on my waist, lips ghosting along my neck.

”Spencer!” Instead of his slow kisses along the skin, he was pecking every centimeter of surface his lips could find, the remaining tears from us both now smudging where skin met the other.

”You think I’m going to go there and not tell them this? I need the weekend to learn how to lie to them.” I reached for him again, fingers having combed back into the hair at the back of his head as I leaned into his body.

“They’re profilers babe. You’re going to need the rest of your life off then.”

”A life I’ll get to spend with you and our little one? I think I like that.” He kissed me one more time, his hands taking my hands back into his hold. “We’re going to be parents.”

Tell me what you think here!

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fandom #fluff #oneshot #sweet emotion collective

[happilychaengs]

hii, i have a request...could you please write a nayeon x fem! angst that's inspired by the song 'like a flowing wind' by day6 ??

-🦌

honestly i'm kind of ashamed i haven't heard this song before but i started listening to this on loop so... yeah. anyways i was racking my brain for this so i hope you enjoy!

-r

nayeon - like a flowing wind

word count: 716

nayeon x gender neutral reader

In the end, I think this is the end

결국 여기까지가 끝인 것 같아

I have to accept it now

이젠 받아들여야 해

because I tried so hard

너무나도 노력했기에

it must be so hard

이렇게 힘든가 봐

It won't be easy

쉽지는 않겠지만

I will let you go bluntly

덤덤하게 너를 보낼 거라

these were the first lyrics that popped up for me so i just chose this

you put the phone up to your ear as she picked up.

"y/n? what's wrong?"

"nothing nay. i just to talk and also i wanted to know if you wanted to go-"

"yeah jihyo?" you heard her shout over the line. then there was someone else shouting back, presumably the leader herself. she let out another sigh as she apologized to you, "i'm sorry y/n, i have to go. I'll call you back." then she hung up.

you let out a breathy sigh as you looked down at her contact name. 'my only one'.

hours passed. unsurprisingly, she hasn't gotten back to you with anything. a text. a call. any sign she cared enough. you just gave up on it as you made your way to bed. you decided to wait this time.

almost always she comes back at 2 am in the morning. always busy. you sat in your bed as you watched the door aimlessly, waiting for her to appear and just on time she does.

"y/n?" she sounded surprised to see you up, waiting for her. "why are you up?"

"nothing." you gave her a small smile, "i just missed you."

"oh. well i missed you too." she nonchalantly replied as she put her bag down and got into bed. as she laid down, you tried wrapping your arms around her stomach like you used to in the past. she had always said ending the day with your warmth was enough for her to get by.

but maybe she was lying right straight through her teeth. she peeled your arms away as she turned her back to you. "not now. i'm tired y/n. good night."

"oh... okay. good night."

and not before long, you could hear her light snores. that was enough of a signal for you to crawl your way out of bed and away from her. you were losing her. you knew. you've tried so hard. so hard to make this work. to make her happy but you knew that it'd all end soon enough.

maybe if you had stopped trying long ago, you wouldn't be feeling like this. like you have this gaping hole in your heart that's missing something. nayeon was the best thing you could ask for. seriously she was. and yet she felt like the worst thing to happen in your life. she was slipping through your fingers by the second and yet you thought it was fine to let it stay this way. it was foolish really.

you've almost convinced yourself that if you loved her hard enough, it'd be okay. you'd still be happy.

you decided to sleep on the couch tonight. away from her and as a new day came around again, you felt exactly the same. you watched as nayeon came down the stairs, glancing over at you and then just walking out the door with nothing to say. you wanted to tell her to stay for just one day for you. take a break. but you knew you'd be wrong to be so selfish.

you should stop this. you thought. it'll only hurt for a while, right? and it'd be easier for her, right? almost an hour passed of you weighing your options. to stay and be miserable or to leave her and make it easier for you both. you decided to choose the latter.

you scrambled around your house for a pen and paper to just write down everything. your final words to nayeon before you'd let her go and how you truly felt. by the time nayeon got back, she called out for you, not seeing a single sign you were home. "y/n?"

as she looked around, your clothes from the closet were gone. any sign that a person besides her lived here was gone. she grew more worried as she spotted a folded up sheet of paper on the bedside table. her brows knitted together as she slowly walked over and unfolded it.

as she skimmed it, she could tell it was your writing. the letter almost seemed incomprehensible in her current state. where did you go? where were you?

but it all became clear soon enough. tears stained the paper in her hands as she stood there reading the last line.

i'm letting you go.

#im nayeon x reader #nayeon x reader #nayeon angst #reqs #requests #deer anon #🦌 anon

[aphroditelovesu]

Hey you good? You've been gone for 2 months

I'm going, anon. I know it's been a while since I posted anything but I had my reasons. I haven't really had time to write, with school, gym and my family problems I don't have the time or desire, but I'll be back soon, I promise.

I don't think I've mentioned this before, but I have depression and anxiety issues, I currently take medication for that and it helps a lot, but there are times when I relapse and I don't feel like doing anything. I currently do psychological follow-up and I really like the psychologist and, although i am often an introverted person, the two of us talk a lot and she has helped me a lot. This part I'm managing very well.

But the real problems are at home. I don't feel comfortable in my own house anymore, I have a good relationship with my parents, but with one of my older sisters I don't. We both fight day and night, we share the same room: me, her and my nephew and they don't let me sleep at night. I've lost count of how many times I gave up trying to sleep and went to the living room on the computer or watched television and lack of sleep is not good, is it? And it affects me a lot in studies too, besides the fact that my ADHD won't let me concentrate, it has the side effects of my anxiety medication and lack of sleep now.

These past few days, my biggest problem has been daily stress and I honestly don't understand my sleep routine. Sometimes I have insomnia and I can't sleep more than two hours a night and sometimes I sleep all day. Of course, when I don't have school. When I have class, sometimes I stay overnight and go straight to school or I sleep for two hours and wake up at six in the morning to go to school at seven. The only good thing about this is my friends who really help me a lot, I love them, I would kill and die for my friends.

Anyway, I've also been pretty sick these past two weeks and I'm on medication again. My sinuses attacked me and I have a headache and nausea most of the time. My sister (the one I get along with) says jokingly that I'm pregnant with Zeus child haha.

Sorry for the huge text, anon... I just felt like I should explain it correctly and I felt good writing all of this, so... It's for these reasons that I haven't been posting. However, I think this week (after Easter) I'll start posting again. I have some stuff saved that I wrote a while ago that just needs tweaking.

Thank you for reading until the end, love you all and be safe! 🥰😘❤️

~ Lady L

#explanation #love you all #❤️❤️

[cdelphiki]

I'm very curious to know whether the present Batfamily noticed that Jason has gone missing? I just fonished your time travelling fic the Time Before and I have so many questions! Is that something you'd even want to focus on? Mayby little Jay should stay in the past? Third time is the charm right???? But worried Bruce is soo juicy! Maybe the past and present Bruce can have an adoption war? I cant decide how I'd like this story to go haha

Ahhhhh I really need to finish that story. I actually know the answer to everything, since I had the whole thingy planned out before I started (or at least I knew the end game and had the final scene already drafted out)

I am going to happily answer everything, but I"ll put it under a break because its SPOILERS FOR THE TIME BEFORE!!!!! for chapters that will come out I have no idea how long from now. I hope soon, but I don't see any real time on my schedule for at least the next month. 😭

Seriously, this is major Spoilers don't look if you hate spoilers.

So Jason staying in the past would be super interesting just in him getting to have a second go at it and this time not die, etc, but I feel like I'd have to have him slowly lose his memory, idk. I just feel it would be weird and difficult for a self-sufficient adult (even if hes only 19 and is a certified Baby because of that, he does support himself and is completely on his own) to have to redo childhood, and be so dependent. At least he’s 9 and not like 2, but yeah. That would be hard. But the angst potential there 🥺 BUT alas, that is not the plan.

Jason is going to end up back in his 19-year-old body. The time travel body switcher device only throws a consciousness back in time for a set amount of time, and they'll know here soon the exact amount of time it is. Hal or whoever it was Bruce asked for advice is gonna be like 'oh yeah i just dealt with that stupid thing a couple months ago' and tell them it's harmless and Jason's consciousness (and Black Mask's) will go back to their original time and bodies in like 3 days or something. Or maybe I'll pick some really random number, like 62.43 hours, because "well it was programmed on [some random planet] and is going off how they measure time!"

I MENTIONED SPOILERS RIGHT, because I'm legit just gonna tell yall everything here.

So there will be a bit of angst because Hal will say something like 'well as long as their future selves are still alive they'll pop back no problem. The catch is, the future self is basically uninhabited (meaning very vulnerable). There's not baby jason suddenly up in the future. Since Jason got shot at the start of the fic, it makes Jason just think he's either gonna pop back to nothing and be dead or just never return, and he's quite upset about it but trying to hide it. He doesn't let himself go back to sleep again the whole time he's in the past.

BUT, back up in the future, a certain Batman gets a weird reading on his computer coming from Black Mask's place, and goes to investigate and finds Red Hood bleeding out and an unconscious Black Mask. He quickly takes Red Hood to the cave for treatment and gets GCPD to pick up Black Mask. He probably did something wrong. They'll find something to charge him with, even if its just shooting Red hood.

So Bruce and Alfred have Jason's body and they take good care of it and get him on the mend, but hes nOT WAKING UP!!! It's very concerning. Bruce is haggard. Idk if he finds the device black mask had or not, and if he does, he gets the same info from Hal past bruce got, too. So maybe he knows Jason is coming back, maybe he doesn't. But he keeps vigil at Jason's bedside, because despite what Jason thinks, Bruce loves him dearly. Unless im specifically writing an abusive!bruce AU, my Bruce always loves Jason dearly. It's just Jason who might not believe or understand that.

Anyway. Theres lots of tears in the past the closer to Jason's return gets, won't go into detail, but then he pops back up into the future. It just felt like he fell asleep, so he wakes up kinda groggy and feels the pain in his stomach and is like oh. so im just gonna die now. but NOPE. HE ISN'T Because Bruce is sitting right there at his bedside and they have a heart to heart 🥺 Jason is kinda forced into the conversation because obviously being a teenager he wants to jump right back to his angry i-hate-you-dad attitude but Past Bruce is still so fresh in his mind and all the good warm feelings he had he breaks pretty fast.

Then I'll bounce back to the past for like an epilogue or something and show little Jason waking back up in himself and he's being carried to bed by Bruce or something and FREAKS OUT. Absolutely goes mental. But future Jason had already told Bruce how to win Jason over by getting him books and food and talking about going to Gotham Academy so he gets won over very fast. (I think they're just gonna act like he got there and he had amnesia but social services dropped him off and does he not remember that? but he remembers everything else now??? and go from there. BbJason will see his bear and his picture and everything in his bedroom and kind of relax and think maybe they're truthful. He can at least give this home a try. They haven't hit him yet.)

And thats basically it. Everyone lives happily ever after. Baby Jason grows up to not die at 15, and big Jason moves back in with Bruce and, like, goes to college or something. Thank you Black Mask for trying to kill him, he saved everyone. 

#spoilers #have i metioned here that im on a school board now #and somehow the answer to 'whats the workload for this position' was 'oh meetings once a month' #has turned into meetings every single week and sometimes twice a week and also all the school events #so like #ty guy who asked me if i could be nominated you LIED TO ME #lmao #its ok #i enjoy it #im also taking over a director of one of our childrens programs #im busy #😭 #oh yeah and telework ended at work thanks to SOMEONE at work claiming all his problems were caused by ME TELEWORKING #like fuck you dude they were not #but here we are #so suddenly i have no free time #😭😭 #i hope to write at least a little this weekend #but i doubt it iwll be for the time before

[sheislostinwonderland]

1/11/24

dearest bellsie,

i have this song that i play on repeat a few hours each day. why? i don't know other than the words make me happy but then they make me sad. it's a craptastic contradiction that i'm never gonna understand. it's called Constellations and i'm listening to it right now for some odd reason. i should be sleeping. i should be finishing the book i just started. btw, the one i finished earlier today wasn't good at all but i finished it anyway. i couldn't not know how it would end even though i knew there would be a happily ever after. that's how they usually go.

back to the song i was talking about.. there are these few lines of it that made me think of.. well, i won't say his name 'cause that would be outing someone who probably wouldn't want to be mentioned on a past on tumblr. so i'll not do that to him but he came to mind when i heard them for some reason.

now you're gone in the blink of an eye i try to remember what you taste like replaying in my head the smell of your body is still in my bed

it's 2:41 AM and i can't sleep 'cause my mind is in the past and i'm hating it. why do the wee hours of the morning always bring you the most pain? the deepest longings? the memory of things that you should forget and never relive?

i wish i wish i wish it would stop haunting me. he would stop haunting me.

guess wishing isn't going to help the cracks that are still there. no matter how much glue, how much plaster, i cover them with. they don't fill enough to keep them at bay.

maybe one day something or someone will prove that he wasn't all that great.

but for now, the memories will stay and i will continue to be dragged back in time to a place where i should have left a long time ago.

i miss you. i love you. i wish you were here to stop me from thinking so bloody fucking much.

yours always, Alice

#bellsie

[jones7thavenue]

2022 Diary Entry No. 24

I'm. So. Beyond. Pissed. Because. My. Man. Cheated. On. Me. With. Another. Fucking. Woman. GodDAMN it, I should've broken up with his ass when I had the chance, but now I'm stuck with Maxi and weekend Mommy Duties. This is bullshit. Right now, as he got back with me after I got caught, I'm wanting to kill him, but I can't do it, in fear of retaliation, as I'm stuck with a $106 bill to my mother-in-law to retrieve my Chromebook and PlayStation 4. He fucking broke my heart and promise to me. I just need to calm down before I go over there and go from 0 to 25 to life....which, unfortunately, I can't afford to do at this point. Fucking shit, fucking shit, fucking shit, fucking shit, fucking shit, fucking shit, fucking shit, fucking shit, fucking shit, FUCKING SHIT!

Anyway, I need to calm down + read a book, for a change. Fifi tore the covers off my copy of The Hobbit, but it won't stop me from reading it before it gets torn away and fucked beyond repair. Before that, however, I need to organize my medication for the week coming...except that I don't have enough Abilify for that, so unless the psychiatrist has an appointment with me soon, I won't get sleep for a while.

I couldn't sleep or get myself to reading at all. I've been smoking 3 cigarettes for the past 4 hours, all because that manslut pissed me off. Plus, I tried to masturbate, but even that has no effect on me, except that I need to pee....which I just did. It's all his fault, and, no, I will not deny that. It's just fucking ridiculous. It really is. Buying replacement equipment for Christmas is going to be a bitch, good Lord. I want to cry, but that has gone out the fucking window by now, because I know it's going to take me several fucking steps back. Even I tried to get my aunt in FL to believe me, but....she's mad at me right now. Best thing I should do is give everyone space for now, make this blog diary my best friend for the time being, read it for another time, see how much I've grown or shrunk overtime......in two years, maybe. Just maybe. Smoking is expensive, but it's the only fucking thing that'll calm me down at this point. I just can't believe my life is unfolding from perfection before my face. I am trying not to fucking cry. If only I fucking stayed in college. I didn't because I'm fucking broke. Look at what I made me. This unfolding is my own fault, regardless of who I blame. Thanks to my own ass, I'm forever unable to work in my lifetime. Fuck. My. Life. Fucking shit, fucking shit, fucking shit, fucking shit, FUCKING SHIT!!!

My nails are getting more fragile. My heart is severely broken. I'm on a semi-dry spell. I can't fucking stand it, man. My parents are at each other's throats every fucking M-F in front of my face. GodDAMN it, I should've graduated from a shit load of schools a long ass time ago. Going back to school takes money. It's just so fucking unfair + dark + lonely + empty. I can't feel suicidal, but I just need better, and in order to earn better, I need to be better than this shit. I went to the UBH 2 times too many, when it shoulda been one time. I blame it on him regardless of how much it's also mine. All of it. I don't give a fuck about nothing anymore.

I just painted my fingernails black, out of boredom. I'm waiting for the polish to dry right now. I need to fucking eat some food, actual food, instead of this fucking junk food. I already threw out rotted or soon to be rotted leftovers. I ran on six spicy chicken nuggets and nachos and cereal and coffee yesterday. That doesn't give me the right to eat fucking junk food. What the fuck am I doing that for, yo? Wait a fucking minute...I had put myself on a food shopping ban....fuck that ban.

I just ordered some cereal and extra chocolate Belvita breakfast biscuits and 3 twelve-packs of all the Stubborn Soda Co.'s flavors of soda. All of them are delicious for being organic pop. I should recommend them to my older sibs. They'll thank me later. Speaking of which, I should do review TikToks on these. That should be fucking interesting.

It's been a bright day today. I just helped Jackie put the groceries away, and I'm eating a piece of pecan pie, choosing to nibble a little at a time until I feel more at peace with myself. I'm not going to talk about it anymore, for I fear it'll piss me off more than I'll ever admit.

I watched the first episodes of Teletubbies on Netflix, narrated by Tituss Burgess, making me silently happy cry for the first time in my life. I just needed a happy cry, and I'm happy I found it. I know, I'm crying again, but why not? I deserve to cry, do I not? I didn't have a childhood, being locked into slavery with my grandmother, who I forgive because it's what Jesus would've wanted anyone to do with their ex anyone, for that matter. I'm broken because of stress and mental illness. Overwhelming mental illness, I tell you. I'm in pain because I was used all of my life. This pain is not only from physical abuse, but also mental, emotional, psychological, physiological....all over is in pain. Like, when will I fucking stop hurting? When will the pain stop? Fucking shit.

I had to smoke a cig to calm my nerves. Anyway, I'm going to read The Hobbit tonight while my parents are asleep. Just to relieve the pain in my aching heart. I'm getting back into reading, slowly, but surely. Maybe reading is the way to my own heart, after all, while I wait for my property to come back to me. I'll have to wait. It's the only way. I need to stand up on my own feet. In fact, I need to spend time with a friend, any friend, just to distance myself from the bullshit and the pain. I'm tired of this pain that's lasted my whole life. I'm sorry, I'm crying again, but fuck it! I no longer give a fuck about what others say about crying. I deserve to cry over who I am. It's just my heart breaking. I have a lot to think about. I hate being like this. I won't stay like this. Never again am I going to stay like this. I have to grow, because Max needs me more than anyone. And the next moves I make will effect and affect his relationships with women for the rest of his life, and my own relationships with men for the rest of my life. I can't let this pain win. I won't. I will win. Not just for Max, but for the two of us.

To be continued...

[salemwritesxx]

𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓮𝓮 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓼.

𝔹 𝕒 𝕜 𝕦 𝕘 𝕠 𝕦  𝕂 𝕒 𝕥 𝕤 𝕦 𝕜 𝕚

     ⇴ male reader [24, pro-hero, alpha, quirk: ice-phoenix]      ⇴ all characters are depicted as [18]+

↳ summary: Bakugou and [Your.name] were dating, about to get married. Though one morning, everything that was dear to [Your.name] was brutally ripped away when he found a letter from his fiancé. Katsuki was gone, no traces left behind. And now, after three years [Your.name] was suddenly confronted with the reason when he meets his ex-fiancé again in a small town in Hokkaido.

↣ rating: mature ↣ warnings: abo universe, male pregnancy, bonding (biting for the bond mark to appear), drama / angst that turns into a happy end though; angst ending version read here.

AN: This was inspired by @amgjiks ’ request they sent in a few months ago! posting this story under your original request feels kinda “wrong” since I’d be ignoring half of what you requested basically so imma keep the original for when inspiration kicks in, in the future :)

part 2.

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

Walking along the streets, you didn’t have a destination in mind. Just walking around and letting fresh air clear your fogged up brain. You had been overthinking – again. It was one of those days were you couldn’t help but think back to three years ago. Tomorrow three years ago would have been the date were you and Katsuki would have said “Yes”, but alas… it all came differently.

Running your hand through your hair, you sighed deeply.

“I need to stop thinking about this. It’s been so long! Like this, I will never be able to forget him.”

But how were you supposed to forget the love of your life? Especially when it all came so quickly and out of nowhere? One day everything was fine, the next, he was gone. And as much as you tried to find him, despite him stating in the letter you shouldn’t try, it was all in vain anyways. It’s as if Bakugou Katsuki had never existed. Even his parents, that were always very much in love with you as their son-in-law, completely ignored you and cut you off.

It was such a deep cut, even time wasn’t able to heal anything. The last three years were rough. Sleepless nights were a normal thing by now. And while media praised you for working so hard on your hero career, you just pushed yourself like that so you wouldn’t need to think about the past. Because when you were working, it all just faded away.

However, after collapsing one day, the agency forced you to take time off and so you landed in Hokkaido. Far away from the bustling streets of Tokyo, your gloomy small apartment and your work place. With nothing to do, you found yourself overthinking day and night. If you just could ask him one question.

Why?

-

Putting on his scent-blocking collar, Bakugou suddenly felt a little tugging on his t-shirt, hence he looked down. [Eye.color], big eyes stared at him and the toothy smile immediately had him smiling as well.

“Are you ready to go outside, Hiroto?”, he asked his son who looked so much like you, reminding him every day what he had done.

“MH! Can I bring Popo?”, Hiroto’s big eyes sparkled a little, making it very difficult for Katsuki to say no, hence he nodded a little.

Watching his son, it only took a few moments before he came back with his stuffed animal, it was a phoenix. Rather, it was your merchandise. It… was complicated.

“Ready to go?”

“Yeess!”

And so, Katsuki locked the door behind him, leaving to go for a walk around the block and a quick park visit.

-

Leaning against a bridge, you stared down, still pondering. If you had just acted differently, maybe you could have saved your relationship. Whatever it was you had done, it pushed him away from you and it was eating you inside to not know what the reason was.

You didn’t know how many hours you had been wandering around town, trying to stop thinking, but as always, you only thought harder the less you had to do. Hence why you decided to go back to the inn you were staying at.

After hours outside, Hiroto was tired, his plushy Popo hugged tightly against his chest as he silently walked besides Bakugou along the streets. One more time, Katsuki tried to pick his son up, “Hiro? Want me to carry you home? Aren’t you tired?”

“NHN!”, he shook his head, “Daddy is never tired when he fights the bad guys! So I am also not tired.”

Hiroto was stubborn as he kept walking besides Bakugou who was just sighing a little. It was his own fault, but he couldn’t lie to his son. Without even thinking about it, Katsuki talked about you whenever you were on TV. He didn’t know why he just couldn’t keep quiet about you being Hiroto’s father. So now, whenever you were on TV, Bakugou had to lie and say you were in another country fighting the bad guys, even though you were still in Tokyo, mere 4 hours away with the train. But Katsuki couldn’t come back. Not after he had hurt you so much. It was his decision to raise Hiroto alone. You deserved to be successful, it had been your dream. Kids just weren’t a thing you had planned for, at least not with 21.

Being caught up in his own thoughts, Bakugou didn’t see you on the other side of the street. Neither did you see him. Both of you staring ahead, thinking back to three years ago, what had been and what it could have become. However, something connected you both. You never had a chance to bond with him, was it a tradition in your alpha family to bond during the wedding night, but your connection was different. Said connection was looking up and across the street.

Hiroto just looked around tiredly when he saw someone. Someone he had seen on TV multiple times. The little boy didn’t know how many times he had wanted Katsuki to show him YouTube videos of you fighting.

“HAAAHHH!? DADDY!?”, a piercing cry came from the little one, shaking you and Katsuki awake. The latter immediately grabbing Hiroto, but.. it was too late.

“HIRO?!”, he yelled, though his son ran across the streets.

You, on the other hand, were so incredibly confused. There he was, standing literally on the other side and then there was a little child, running towards you and calling for you. Was this the “Why?” you had searched for, for so long? You couldn’t think about it when your legs moved on their own to get the kid out of a potential dangerous situation.

It was a blessing that the small town didn’t have much traffic, hence why you could easily run towards him, scoop him up and get back to the safe sidewalks in mere seconds. You didn’t want to imagine what could have happened in a busy city like Tokyo.

Then you stood there, awkwardly holding Hiroto who was crying and sobbing into your t-shirt while Katsuki’s own emotions were all over the place. The Omega had never imagined the possible chance of meeting you again. After three years, all he had built up from scratch to have a comfortable life far, far away from you, as to not disturb your career, it all broke apart.

However, Bakugou wasn’t the only one hearing something shattering, your own heart dropped into your stomach. The already broken pieces shattering more when you saw the pure horror displayed on his face. This was not how you imagined meeting him again. He hated you. You were certain of that. Whatever you had done to him, he never wanted to see you again. It all was so clear to you now it almost brought you to tears then and there.

Your inner Alpha was strongly urging you to just grab him, Katsuki was your Omega, even if you never had a chance to mark him, that’s just how it was. He was yours. But…

Slowly pushing your son away you put him into Bakugou’s arms. There were no words said, the only thing disturbing the silence was Hiroto’s sobbing. Especially when you loosened his tight grip on your t-shirt, he started squirming and screaming, trying to grab onto you more. He had seen you on TV so many times and now you were right in front of him. Yet, Hiroto had to watch when you turned around and left him behind.

You had so many questions rushing through your head, but at the same time, you couldn’t bring yourself to utter them out loud. Not after seeing Bakugou’s expression. This was never supposed to happen. Even if your heart yearned for answers, especially regarding his son… your son?

Without thinking about it, Katsuki put Hiroto down to let him run after you once again. It was such an impulse thing to do, he truly didn’t know why he had done it. Though after three years, why should he hide anymore when you had seen everything now? Also… after so long, he might have not been able to ignore his heart’s desire and yearning any longer.

It was so incredibly hard to ignore Hiroto’s crying and just walk away as if it had never happened, but for the sake of Katsuki’s happiness, you chose to go. However, a sudden tug made you stop. Looking down you saw ice around your ankles. It was weak and thin, easily breakable really. Hiroto’s? When you turned around, he had already clutched your leg tightly. Why?

When you looked back up, Bakugou also stood in front of you, his ruby eyes shimmering a little.

“Do you … want to talk?”, he finally asked, his voice breaking at the end though as he tried his hardest not to cry. What was he doing? It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen you in like three weeks, it had been YEARS since he left without any other word. Why would you even want to have anything to do with him or Hiroto?

“Yes!”, you said and it truly caught the Omega off-guard. After everything he put you through… If he was in your position he probably would have been so angry and furious, but you just seemed exhausted and tired.

But finally, you would be getting some answers.

--

All night long, you couldn’t sleep. After you had calmed down Hiroto enough, Bakugou gave you a little piece of paper with his address on it. “I work until 7. So we can talk without any disturbance.”, he said when he gave you the information. It was probably for the best. You didn’t want to imagine what would happen when your feelings would overcome you out in a café. [Your.hero.name] seen screaming in Hokkaido – you could see the news all over the internet already. So, it was probably for the best to meet him at home.

But that didn’t mean you weren’t nervous. How had your ex-fiancé been living his life the past three years? It was all exciting and scary at the same time to find out those things.

When you knocked on his door, your inner Alpha was impatiently pacing up and down. It was as nervous as you. But when the door opened and Katsuki stood there, you were sure for the first time in the last 12 hours, that it wasn’t a dream. Walking inside was heaven and hell at the same time. Everything smelled like him. The Omega’s scent was so familiar, but another one was mixed in – probably Hiroto’s.

“A friend of mine is looking after Hiroto tonight so he won’t be dragged into this.”, he said, nervously fumbling with his scent-blocking collar.

It was weird wearing it at home, but for you and himself, he had to wear it. His Omega had been going in circles ever since he met you again yesterday. It wanted to be taken and to be honest, Bakugou was also close to surrender to you. But it wasn’t that easy. You probably had so many questions.

“Oh… Yeah that’s for the best. Katsuki.”, you suddenly stopped in the middle of the hallways.

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry I can't wait, but you need to tell me now. Hiroto, he… called me Daddy and he has an ice quirk… so I am not wrong to assume that he is… our son?”

Katsuki could vividly feel your emotions, the Omega was shuddering, his throat dry and hands sweatier than usual.

“Yeah…”, was all he could choke out.

“Oh.. my God.”, you just mumbled to yourself. Hearing it out loud was like another punch in your stomach.

“Did you… leave me when you were pregnant?”, was your next question, still standing in the middle of the hallway.

However, Katsuki couldn’t even blame you. There were so many questions left unanswered.

“We were too young…”, his ruby eyes were shimmering again with tears, but he tried his best to keep them at bay.

“Too young?”, you were speechless for a moment, before looking back, “Why didn’t you tell me?! Why did you just… leave? Why… did you do everything yourself?!”

Now you were finally angry. After so long, you just couldn’t understand why he would leave you without saying anything. It could have all come differently if Katsuki would have just been honest!

“You had your career?! A baby didn’t just… fucking fit into our lifestyle! What else could I have done?!”, Bakugou yelled back. He knew it would come to this.

“SO?! You also had your career, we were both working hard to become well-known heroes so that’s not a fucking excuse. What else?? You seriously ask me?!”, you gestured wildly.

“You wouldn’t have wanted to raise a child, it was too soon!”

“It was NOT your right to decide that for me!”, you yelled, your voice breaking as tears welled up.

Bakugou once again being a little taken aback. His heart was racing and his tears so close to falling.

“You could have asked me, we could have worked it out.”, the first tears successfully fought their way out as they rolled over your cheeks.

“I loved you SO MUCH. If it was possible I would have literally brought you the stars from the sky. I would have done anything. And you? You just leave. Without anything but a letter telling me you cannot marry me. Do you have the slightest idea how I felt?”, your voice was shaking and breaking here and there, but it was freeing to finally let it all out.

“I thought it was for the best. I didn’t know what to do.“, Bakugou’s voice was so uncharacteristically weak and small.

“You didn’t know?? Did you never trust me, Katsuki? Was I just- such a horrible Alpha to you? Did you think I’d force you to an abortion? Was I not good enough to be a father?!”, you asked trying so hard not to scream, but all these pent up feelings, it all just gushed out without any sort of valve to stop yourself.

“That’s not it! I knew you wouldn’t do that, I just-“

“WHAT? Please tell me why! Why?! Why was I not worthy to be your mate? Why did you refuse to tell me and just leave?! Why did you chose raising OUR baby alone, I-“

“I DON’T KNOW, OKAY?! I don’t know! It was a fucking stupid decision out of nowhere!”, he finally screamed back, tears cascading down his face.

“Don’t you think I have regretted it? Do you think I LIKE being a single parent?! I know I fucked up. I know I threw it all away because I panicked, okay?! I just panicked and before I knew it I was on the train.”, Katsuki sobbed, desperately wiping away his tears.

“We were so fucking young! We had planned to marry, we were talking about saving up for the future to build a house, to have a family in like 10 years or more. But… But I just messed up! I forgot to take my medication before going into Heat, it was my fault I got pregnant- I… I couldn’t bring myself to tell you. Throw everything we planned out the window because I was too fucking stupid to remember.”, his voice broke horribly, being squeaky from time to time as Bakugou’s guilt just overflowed.

The Omega was shaking and instinctively, you and your inner Alpha wanted to protect him. Hence why you wiped away your tears and took a deep breath to calm yourself.

“I know I messed up. Fuck.”, he cried and yet laughed at himself. Hands buried in his hair, Bakugou just wanted to cease to exist in that moment. He had done so many things wrong in his life. The only good thing that had ever happened was meeting you and falling in love with you and even that he destroyed.

He was gasping for air due to talking nonstop while gesturing with his hands wildly. And then, you just hugged him. Your Alpha scent surrounding him and soothing him. Your arms strong and warm, just perfect to melt into them and let everything loose. Oh, how he had missed that.

“I just… wish you had given me a choice. I wish you would have trusted me more. I would have done anything for you and our baby. It would have been hard, I know, but I am sure we would have been able to make it work.”, you quietly said while soothingly caressing his back and letting a quiet, calming purr erupt from your throat. A sign how close you truly were as you would never purr for anyone else than Bakugou.

“I’m sorry.”, Bakugou sobbed and clawed at your clothes, “I love you and I missed you and.. it was so hard alone, but I know I don’t have any fucking right to complain about it because it’s all my fault and I hurt you so much and-“

You hugged him a little tighter.

“I regret everything, I… I… can you forgive me? Can you give me a second chance? I know I don’t deserve it. I know…”

Had you ever seen him so weak before? No. And it truly tugged on your heart strings. There is nothing you wanted more. Get back together. Be happy again. But-

“Katsuki… have you ever thought of coming back to me? Like, if I had never shown up, if I had never found out… wouldn’t you keep on living without me just fine? Don’t you think this is your guilty conscious speaking? You don’t want me. You don’t need me.”

That was the last thing you said before you pulled back from him at last. Bakugou was quite speechless, just staring at you, red, swollen eyes and a tear-stained face made it hard to just go. But it was for the better. Even if he had regretted it, he was never pushed so far as to come back to you. Like that, maybe it was for the best.

Though before you could turn away, he grabbed your hand.

“Katsuki…”

“I wanted… during the pregnancy, after Hiroto was born and every time I saw you on TV, I was so close to leaving all of this. But at that point, I was too fucking scared. I had no right to go back… There are so many letters I’ve written and never sent. [Your.name], I… I literally have a suitcase ready to go. I’ve been waiting for some sort of sign or I don’t know and now? You’re here. Right here in front of me. I know it’s foolish and I’m stupid and have no fucking right to demand this from you, but please… Let me come back. Please forgive me. Please… be Hiroto’s father.”

He had never in his life begged. His superiority complex definitely wouldn’t allow for any of that, but right now was different. He realized the hurt he had caused. How wrong he was. Bakugou had regretted running away in the first week of living in Hokkaido. He always told himself it was “the right thing”. So maybe it was pathetic that he came crawling back, but if there was a slight chance you would take him back, he just had to take it.

You just sighed. Your heart was confused. While your heart screamed yes over and over again, your brain was telling you no. What if it was just a spur of the moment thing? What if he would leave you again when things would get tough?

But then, you looked down and onto his hand. The gold engagement ring you had gotten him around four years ago was still on his ring finger.

“You still… wear it?”, you asked as you reached for the hand that gripped your wrist tightly. His hands were shaking still – you have never seen him like that.

“It’s the only thing that kept me connected to you…”

“Katsuki…”

Reaching out, you cupped his face with your big hand, the Omega instinctively leaning against it. It was okay. Even if you were to get hurt again. Even if you forgave too quickly. Everything was okay now as you leaned in to connect your lips.

Holding onto you immediately, Bakugou’s fingers clawed at your t-shirt not wanting to let go ever again. Your lips melting together, emotions overwhelming you both as you pressed him into the wall. One hand reaching up to his collar. It took mere seconds for it to snap open. Then it fell to the floor, unleashing all of Bakugou’s Omega scent.

It being overwhelming was quite the understatement. Your knees were weak and legs shaking. You couldn’t resist the urge to bury your face in the crook of his neck.

“Oh my God…”, you moaned as you slowly slid down onto the ground with him, Katsuki just whimpering as he hugged your body as close as possible.

He would never let go again – never!

-

With your teeth gracing along his neck, your sweaty bodies collided over and over again. Bakugou only able to sob as he held on to your hands tightly, nails digging into your skin and almost drawing blood.

You were hovering above him, hearing his cries and sobs. The sweet scent from his neck being so irresistible. You just wanted to bite. Mark him. It had been a tradition in your household to do so on your wedding night, but…

“Do it…”, you suddenly heard.

Bakugou could barely choke it out, ruby eyes filled with tears of pleasure as he whispered one more time, “Do it… It’s overdue…”

And then, without thinking twice about it anymore, you grabbed him tightly while your teeth sank into his skin.

A marvelous burning pain rushing through his body almost made Katsuki pass out. The sweet torture of being bonded to his mate was almost too much. That was all he had longed for, for so long. He didn’t know why you would take such a coward like him back, but he was so grateful and plain… happy.

--

Once you opened your eyes the next morning, it all felt like a dream. Especially when you reached to your side and it was empty.

Sitting up abruptly, you looked around – definitely not your room. So what happened last night was not a dream. However…

Without putting anything on, your heart was beating so fast when you rushed outside the bedroom door. Flashbacks to three years ago were haunting your mind.

“Katsuki?”, you tore open the next door, prepared to just see another letter on one of the tables.

Though it, thankfully, wasn’t the case. There he was, standing in the kitchen, your flannel from yesterday the only thing covering his body while he was talking to someone on the phone. Unintentionally, tears had formed in your eyes, but now, you just sighed shakily and wiped over your eyes quickly.

Bakugou, who had turned around once he heard you calling for him, certainly had his heart sinking in the pit of his stomach.

That was his fault.

“Okay… okay, thank you.”, then he ended the call and turned to you, “Sorry, it was about Hiro. Akitoshi will bring him over before lunch.”

“Ah? Mh, okay.”

“Hey…”, putting his phone onto the table, he walked towards you. The Omega’s strong arms wrapped around your waist as he cuddled against your chest.

“I am not running away again. I promise.”, Katsuki barely whispered.

Hugging him tightly with your hand buried in his hair, you just quietly sighed and then kissed his forehead before leaning your head against his.

“I know. I just need some time.”, you also said quietly and Bakugou understood.

Hence why he reached out to cup your face, smiling softly.

“I love you.”

A small smile also flitted across your lips. Your hands cupping his own as you leaned down to kiss him.

“I love you, too.”

Walking back into the bedroom, Bakugou soon lost the flannel again as he slipped into bed, snuggling against you; legs tangled and naked bodies melting together. Unintentionally your hand had slipped down to his belly. That’s when you felt uneven skin and a scar underneath your fingertips. Yesterday, you were caught up in all your pent up emotions too much, so you didn’t notice.

It was his C-Section scar.

“Katsuki?”

“Hm?”

“Tell me about Hiroto.”

Subconsciously, his lips curved into a smile. That you wanted to know more about your son melted his heart but also made him feel more guilty. If only he could turn back time.

“Yeah.”, and then, he started talking and you just listened to the soothing voice of your Omega.

There were three years to catch up on, but due to Katsuki telling your son about you all the time, at least it was easier for Hiroto. With how he was clinging to you yesterday, it was obvious he loved you even though he had never met you in person. And you wanted to be there for him at last. You had only met him yesterday for a brief moment but your heart was already filled with so much love that you wanted to give to him.

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

@salemwritesxx || do not repost, edit, modify or translate my works

⇻ salem.talks: I’d love to know what y’all thought of this story? :) once again I took inspiration from the request and I am pretty happy with the outcome!

#salemswriting. #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x male reader #bakugou x reader #bottom bakugou #bnha x male reader #bnha x reader #abo #mpreg #omega bakugou #bakugou

[idy-ll-ique]

Things I Like About You.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Genre: Fluff, fluff, fluff

Warnings: mentions of nightmares

Requested: nope

Summary: Bucky makes a list of 18 things that he likes about Y/N, starting with her voice.

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! idk how this idea came to me but I decided to proceed with it anyway lmao. enjoy!

---

The first thing he liked about her was her voice. Just smooth, soft, a little raspy but it made his heart flutter as he walked to the communal area with Steve, his best friend. As they neared the room her voice became louder, turned more melodic. Singing, she was singing a song. A wave of pleasure washed over him when he heard her but he concealed it easily.

The second thing he liked about her was her face. When he and Steve walked into the communal area her back was to them, and she was still singing. For a minute they just listened as Y/N hit all the notes correctly; only then did Steve cut her off by clearing his throat. She whirled around and his breath caught in his lungs.

She had the most gorgeous eyes he had ever seen on anyone. They were simply perfect and when they narrowed as she smiled widely, he was done for. Her nose was perfect, her pretty lips were perfect, her teeth were perfect, her hair was perfect and literally everything else about her was just perfect. "Hi Steve, Mr Barnes!" She greeted them enthusiastically.

That was the third thing he liked about her, her personality. She was not too loud, not too quiet, not too brazen, not too prude… simply marvellous. "Hey, Y/N! You can call him Bucky, you know." She glanced at him and his eyes went wide on their own accord as he nodded, agreeing with Steve. Then she gave him another smile.

Oh boy, I'm in trouble. "Fine, Bucky. It's very nice to meet you." She held her hand out and that was the fourth thing he liked about her; the feel of her skin. Just like her voice, her skin was smooth and buttery, so soft that for a moment, he almost didn't want to blemish her beautiful skin by touching her. But he still gingerly took her hand, shaking it.

He did not trust his voice; he knew that if he tried to speak, he'd just squeak out some nonsense. Where is my 40s charm?! Just when you need it… He gave her a polite nod as they shook hands and Steve sighed on his right. "Sorry, it takes him a while to, you know, speak in front of the others…" Y/N waved him off easily.

"I understand, Steve. Let him take his time, no rush." She gave him another smile and this time, he found himself smiling back. "Your smile is wonderful," she told him, which caused his smile to widen involuntarily. "So is yours," he rasped and there it was: the fifth thing he liked about her. Her blush. She went red and rubbed the back of her neck.

"Thank you, Bucky." He had never liked his name more. "Well, now that you two have been introduced, I guess I can go. Think you can take it from here, Buck?" He nodded but the truth was that no, no he couldn't take it. Alone with her? What if he did something embarrassing and drove her off? "Shall we sit?"

She gestured to the couches and he nodded, both of them sitting next to each other. The sixth thing he liked about her, her posture. Back straight, ankles crossed, hands folded neatly on her lap, she looked like a Royal. There were no words spoken in the first five minutes but Y/N didn't get up, she knew it always took him some time. She'd be there for him.

"You sing wonderfully," he blurted out and she turned to look at him with the smile he was quickly getting obsessed with. I'm gonna have to make her smile more often. "Oh, thank you so much!" He gave her a smile of his own and looked down at his lap. "How are you doing today?" He looked back up. "I'm doing well, you?" She nodded and giggled.

"Sorry, didn't know what else to ask." The seventh thing he liked about her, her giggle. Her laugh, in general. "It's okay, darling," he grinned lazily and watched as she blushed again at the nickname. Maybe he won't embarrass himself after all. "So, are you new on the team?" he asked her and she shook her head.

"I'm not on the team, actually. I'm just good friends with the Avengers, I don't fight. I own a bakery down the street," she told him and he hummed. "A bakery? Sounds just as sweet as you," he flirted easily and watched how she went red again. "You're too flattering," she mumbled and he shook his head. "You deserve it."

"I was actually wondering when I'd get to meet you, but Steve told me I'd have to wait before you were ready," she blurted out, suddenly nervous. He cleared his throat and looked away. "Sorry." She placed a hand on his shoulder and his head snapped towards her, making her drop her hand. But he gently took it and returned it to his shoulder, giving her a shy smile.

"Hey, no, don't apologize. I have a PhD in Psychology, you know, I know you needed time. I was willing to wait longer," she told him and he felt his heart flutter. Mama, I found my wife. "You have a PhD and yet you opened a bakery?" She flushed deeper. "I just like baking. I have had my bakery before I even started my first year at the university."

"That's wonderful. So, uh, the Avengers, they visit often?"

"Yes, oh my God! After every damn mission. Steve and Sam were there the last time, yesterday, when they came back. Finished two dozen of my muffins, had to bake more in the middle of the night to restock." The eighth thing he liked about her, the way she complained, how her nose scrunched and she pulled a face.

He couldn't help but laugh. "They do have a sweet tooth," he pointed out and there it was; the ninth thing he liked about her— her pout. "Still! I lost a lot of sleep," she huffed. "I'd like to visit your bakery too, doll. Have an address?" She immediately reached into the pocket of her jeans, pulling out a slightly crumpled business card.

"Oh, shit, I'm sorry!" she hissed, noticing the state her card was in but he didn't care in the least. I'm going to keep this paper with me till the end of my life. "It's not a problem at all, doll." Then he examined the card, smirking at the name of the bakery. "The Sweet Spot, huh? Wonder where yours is," he spoke effortlessly, eyes still on the card.

He heard a choking noise and turned to see Y/N laughing behind her hands, barely able to contain herself. "Aren't you just smooth, Barnes," she replied evenly and all he wanted to do at the moment was haul her over his shoulder, take her to his bedroom and never leave. "I was known to be quite charming in the 40s," he winked and she giggled more.

"I would've loved to see that." Soon, she checked her watch and clicked her tongue, standing up. "My bakery opens in 15 minutes, I have to go. It was nice to meet you, Bucky." She simply stood there, fidgeting and that worried him. "Doll?" Her eyes met his. "Sorry, um, I was thinking… should I hug him or shake his hand? Probably should've—"

Without another word he pulled her in his arms and the tenth thing he liked about her? Her hugs. She easily slid her arms around his torso, pressed her face into his chest— being shorter than him— and squeezed. His vibranium hand cradled her head and the flesh one went around her shoulder, returning the squeeze.

The hug was longer than necessary, not that either of them complained. When she pulled away, both of them exchanged huge smiles. He felt lighter and happier than he had in years, even though he was attending therapy now. "Bye, Bucky! See you later!" Oh see you later alright, he visited the bakery just an hour later.

---

A sharp knock on the door to her apartment startled her. She checked the time; it was 2 am. Dread filled her entire body as she slowly made her way to the living room, peeking out of the peephole. The dread washed away entirely as she opened the door and swiftly pulled the man inside, shutting the door behind him.

"Bucky?"

"I needed you," he spoke hoarsely. Y/N noticed the dark circles under his eyes, his bloodshot eyes, his tousled hair and his dirty clothes. He had been gone on a mission for the past 5 months; they met 7 months ago. 5 months? Who has a mission that long? The Avengers, that's who. Bucky and Y/N had bonded quite well in the small amount of time.

There were many more things he realized he liked about her; her dancing, her cooking, her apartment, the smell of her laundry detergent, her caring nature, her jokes, her— "Bucky? Bubba, did you hear me?" He blinked a few times and offered her a sheepish smile, shaking his head. "I said, take a bath. I'll leave you some clothes outside."

He agreed instantly and went to her bathroom, hopping in for a quick wash. He cleaned himself with her body wash; it smelled like lavender that calmed him. He had missed her a lot. On the way back home all he could think about was her. He wanted— no, he needed to hold her as he slept to ensure he didn't wake up screaming.

After the shower as he put on the clothes she left for him, he realized something. Walking into the only bedroom in the apartment he saw her looking up from her phone. "Yes, Buck?" He hadn't permitted Sam to call him that, even though he had known the man longer than he had Y/N. "Are these Steve's clothes?"

She went pink and stammered. Bucky's brows furrowed. "Are you dating Steve?" he blurted out and her eyes went wide. "No, I've never dated Steve. It's just that… one time he was on a mission and he needed some place to hide and live for a few days. He lived with me. He left his bag behind and I kept the clothes, for situations like these."

He could tell she was telling the truth. The seventeenth thing he liked about her was her honesty. "Oh, okay." Suddenly a smirk came over her face, which made him nervous. "Were you jealous, Barnes?" It was his turn to blush and he went 10 shades darker than she had. "I— I mean, I— I wasn't, I— I was—" he stammered and she laughed.

"I was kidding! Get in the bed, we're going to sleep." He felt nervous again. "I, um, actually had a… favour, if it's not much, uh, if you don't agree I'll take the couch I promise, but I—" She shushed him. "Spit it out." He exhaled. "Can I… maybe… snuggle with you? While we sleep? Please?" He sounded so soft that all Y/N wanted to do was tell him how much she liked him and cuddle him to death.

"Of course! If it makes you feel better, sure, we can do that. Get in." He took off his t-shirt, hurriedly explaining that he couldn't sleep in them but she brushed him off. He got into the bed next to her and tentatively held his hand out, grinning to himself when she snuggled into his side with a soft sigh.

"You're so warm. It's perfect," she breathed out. Bucky never wanted to let go. "Goodnight, doll," he whispered and pressed a soft kiss to her head as both of them drifted off to dreamland. Bucky dreamt of her. The seventeen things he liked about her as of yet, with many more to come. Like maybe the way she tasted.

The way she would feel under him, around him… He gulped and rid himself of the thoughts; he didn't want a boner right now. You've known this woman for 7 months! Calm down, horny. That night, he slept like a baby, his firm hold on Y/N never wavering. Somewhere during the night her face had pushed itself in the crook of his neck, not that he cared.

One of his hands had landed on her butt while the other cradled her head again. Not that she cared. The next morning, Y/N was the first one up. She tried to get up from the bed but Bucky whined, actually whined underneath her. "Don't go." She giggled and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. "I need to use the bathroom."

Blinking a bit at the unexpected kiss (not that it wasn't welcome), it took him a few minutes to process her words. He let her go then, falling back asleep. He was tired; if he could, he wouldn't wake up for another 2 weeks. Y/N smiled softly when she came out of the bathroom, he looked so peaceful. Let him stay a while longer. She went to make herself some breakfast.

15 minutes into the process Bucky showed up, wrapping his arms around her from behind.

He buried his face in the side of her neck, leaving tiny kisses. "I thought you'd like to sleep longer," Y/N offered, one hand squeezing his arm. "It wasn't the same without you." She giggled as he pulled away, giving him another kiss on the cheek. "You sure know how to flatter women," she snorted and he grinned.

"Not just any woman, you in particular," he winked, sitting down at the dining table as Y/N brought over 2 plates of pancakes. "Consider me impressed, James," she teased back. "When does the bakery close?" he questioned as they both ate. "5 pm, why?" "I'm taking you out on a date," he said confidently.

"What time?"

"6:30?"

"Cool."

After they finished eating, they cleaned up for the day and left her apartment. Bucky offered to drop her to her bakery and she readily agreed, both of them walking down the street hand-in-hand. "I've been wanting to ask you out ever since we met," he confessed and she turned to him. "So have I," she chuckled and he looked at her, another grin forming on his face.

Soon, they reached the bakery and stood outside, simply staring at each other. "So, uh, I guess I'll—" The rest of the sentence caught in her throat as Bucky leaned forward and kissed her deeply. He couldn't hold himself back any longer. Y/N kissed back, smiling when he pulled away. "Can't wait for 6:30," she whispered.

"Neither can I."

And as he walked back towards the Compound, he thought about her, the eighteenth thing he liked about her (her kisses) and the many more things he was sure he was going to like about her in the upcoming months.

---

A/N: Leave a like if you enjoyed, thanks for reading!

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x female reader #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes fluff #winter soldier #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan x female reader #sebastian stan characters #disney #mcu #marvel #avengers #fanfic #writing #writeblr

[nat-20s]

for @jonmartinweek THE FINAL DAY prompt- Pining/Longing. This one takes place, well, you’ll see

~*~

A Study of Longing, Told in Six Parts

Part 1

Martin wonders if he’ll ever get to a point in his life where kindness doesn’t feel like a shock to the system. It’s already surprising enough when Tim and Sasha invite him for drinks in a genuine offer of friendship, but for that kindness to come from Jon? Martin has no idea what to do with being believed, let alone being protected.

And now here he is, blearily opening his eyes only to find himself staring at a mass of hair. As he sits up and rubs the sleep from his eyes, the shape resolves into the form of one Jonathan Sims. He had apparently fallen asleep with his head cushioned on his arms, against the cot Martin was currently occupying. It’s not an image that Martin can fully process at the moment, so instead he debates whether or not to wake Jon up or quietly get off the cot to let him get some much needed sleep. He decides on the former, both thinking that it would be hell on his back to keep sleeping in that position, and that he would like an explanation.

Hand hovering above Jon’s shoulder, but not fully touching, Martin oh so quietly calls out, “Jon?”

That’s all it takes for Jon’s head to rush up with a gasp, glasses askew, and with the texture of his sleeves pressed in red marks on his face. It is a horribly endearing look. “Hrn?”

Martin opens his mouths, closes it, and waits for Jon to get his bearings. Jon smooths down his (frankly ridiculous) sweater-vest, adjusts his glasses, and slips back on his professional demeanor. “My apologies, Martin, I, ah, must have fallen asleep.”

Glancing to the crappy little digital clock resting on a file box next to him, Martin rolls his eyes. Only Jon could be quite so stuffy at 4:32 in the morning. “No apologies needed. Though, um, was there? Something you needed or..?”

Jon shakes his head and stands up, dusting off imaginary grime. “No, no, nothing like that. I had just, er. I had heard you cry out and I- I wanted to make sure nothing was going on. It appears that it simply a nightmare,so I will be.. taking my leave. Now.”

He doesn’t know what part of himself replies, “Oh! You don’t have to go!,” but he replies it anyway. Jon does that little thoughtful frown at him, which forces him to continue, “I mean, if you wanted the cot. For sleeping. I’ll probably be awake for the rest of the night, so, you know, no skin off my back .”

“Ah. No, that’s quite alright, Martin. Try to get some more sleep, there’s still a long work day ahead.”

Jon doesn’t even wait for a response before turning on his heel and leaving. Martin sort of hates how much he wanted him to stay.

Part 2

Jon is laughing. Jon is terrified, all the damn time, and yet, somehow, he’s laughing. Honestly, he was starting to wonder if he was still capable of it. Martin is gesticulating wildly with his fork, animated in a way that Jon’s only ever seen when in they’re in the middle of a rather silly debate. He thinks this lunch’s topic was something like whether or not snakes were cute? He lost the thread of conversation about half an hour ago, honestly. Covering his mouth, he lets the giggles run through his whole body, shaking his shoulders and heating his core. He feels light, heady, like he’s reminiscing with an old friend and they’re both on the edge of having had too much to drink.

He only wishes he could trust this feeling. He wishes that he could trust Martin, that they were normal coworkers having a normal lunch, that the previous person in Jon’s position had gone into an easy retirement instead of being violently murdered. He wishes he hadn’t read that letter telling him, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Martin, Martin, who took him to lunch and brought him tea and seemed so very warm in so very cold circumstances, was lying to him.

Jon stops laughing.

Part 3

Of course, the second his body hits the simultaneously stiff and weirdly lumpy motel mattress, his phone goes off. It may only be about 8 pm, but he’s tired, and he’s sore, and he’s had a persistent headcold for the past week for some unholy reason, the last thing he wants to do is talk. However, only about four people have the number to the burner cell, and they’re almost certainly have a purpose behind their call.

Closing his eyes and letting out a sigh that turns into more of a groan, he picks up on the 4th ring. “Hello?”

“Hey, Jon! It’s Martin, I’m not sure if you have my number programmed in that phone, or if it even has caller ID if you do. Anyway, it’s been about a week since I’ve heard anything, and I wanted to make sure you weren’t, y’know, dead or arrested or anything.”

His previously tense and aching muscles all relax, without him consciously deciding to relax them, and a sleepy smile spreads across his face, because some time in the past year he’s become a parody of himself. Yes, maybe he should be more affronted by how much Martin’s tinny voice brings him comfort, but he’s had a rather terrible time of things since...since he began work in the archives, really, and he’s worn down enough that he can admit he misses his friend.

Huh. Friends. They are, aren’t they? Wonder when that happened. (He can guess, something involving a fake CV admission, but he doesn’t feel like it right now.) “Martin, I recognize your voice, no need to introduce yourself.”

“Right! Yes, uh, ‘course..of course you can. Right. Sooo...I take it you’re not dead, then.”

“Correct. I haven’t been arrested, either.” It’s only sort of a comforting lie, so Jon thinks it can be forgiven.

“Good. Great! Yeah, that’s...that’s good.”

The conversation could probably end there. Jon could probably tell Martin good night, and they’d hang up, and Jon could get the sleep he had been so desperately craving not moments ago. Somehow, he thinks that neither of them want that. Scrambling for something to talk about, Jon replies, “Hang on, isn’t it something like 2am over there?”

“It...might be.”

“Martin!”

“What! It’s not like you have a monopoly on bad sleeping habits. Besides, I was up anyway, and I just..”

“Just what?”

“I just missed your voice.”

Oh. Heat rushes to his cheeks, and tears start to prick at the corners of his eyes, and god. He had missed Martin’s voice too. “Really? I know you’ve had to listen to a fair number of tapes lately, thought you might be sick of it by now.”

“No. I mean, I am a bit tired of tapes, honestly, but even the ones that you recorded, that not really your voice, is it? I mean it is, but it doesn’t sound like you when you’re actually, um, you. I wanted..I wanted to hear you.”

Jon’s far too worn out to deal with that sentiment, and the way that it makes his heart clench. So instead  of addressing it, he says, “I am very close to being asleep.”

“Oh. Right, sorry, I’ll let you go-”

“No! No. Um. Would you mind staying on the line? Until I’m gone? I-I like hearing your voice. As well.”

“Oh! Sure, yeah, definitely. Anything in particular you want me to talk about?”

“Whatever you like. Something nice?”

“All right. I can do that. Um. Did I tell you about this little yarn shop I found the other day. It’s called ‘Puttin’ on the knitz’, and it’s…”

Jon peacefully drifts off, listening to the voice of the man who he can only admit in moments such as these, he wishes was in this bed, laying beside him.

Part 4

please come back please come back for the love of god come back I can’t believe you’re doing this do you have any idea how stupid this is come back to me come back come back come back

Part 5

There is plenty of things to long for in the apocalypse. A decent cuppa. The relief of actual sleep. Murdering Jonah Magnus. For there not to be a apocalypse. They are grateful, however, to not have to long for each other.

Part 6

Martin comes to without a knife in his hand, or bloodstains on his clothing. Those, under other circumstances, would be good things.

Martin comes to, laying in the grass, without anyone beside him. He barely has the moment to feel agony spike through him before he’s out once more.

There are no Jonathan Sims admitted to the hospital. As far as he can tell, no one was admitted into the hospital at the same time as him, and certainly no one with a stab wound.

There are thousands of ‘Jonathan Sims UK’, typed desperately into a library computer search bar, wielding mostly results about a sport manager and a romance novelist. None of the images are of the right person.

Sometimes Martin puts one foot in front of the other, carefully blank in heart and head. Surviving, even  during times that he’s not sure he wants to, is one of his greatest abilities.

Sometimes Martin despairs.

On the worst nights, he tries to call the Lonely back to him, tries to be swallowed whole. It never works. He’s not sure if it’s because the fears aren’t in the reality or if they’re not established enough to have any leverage or if his connection has simply been broken. (He doubts the last reason. He hasn’t been this alone since Tim’s funeral. Even then, Melanie had thrown a few stilted condolences towards him. No one is aware enough of him to give condolences now. He misses Melanie. He misses all of them. He misses Jon like a gaping, bleeding wound misses skin.)

Seven months later, and he has enough money saved and identity built that he moves on to Scotland. The little village they had been adjacent to exists in this reality. Daisy’s cottage does not.

On a whim, he enters the yarn shop. He’s not going to pick anything up, hobbies are the last thing he can focus on, but it’s nice to look. To feel the various textures, to take in the rich variance of colors, to, hopefully be present in his own body, if only for a moment.

Martin steps in. The bell chimes. He’s there. Standing in front of him. Whole. In a cry that’s closer to a gasp, he calls out, “JON!”

Jon turns, looks up at him, recognizes him even before he’s even fully seen him. It’s his Jon, he’s here he’s here he’s here. The callback of “MARTIN!” sounds like it was punched out of him, the start of a sob and a laugh all at once.

In a blink, they’re together, their embrace a tangle of limbs, a collision of lips, a mixture of tears. Martin can’t tell which of them is saying the litany of “thank god thank god thank god” and who’s repeating “it’s you it’s you it’s you.”

It’s Jon that’s telling him, “I knew you had to be here. I knew it, because I kept thinking. Surely. Surely this new universe wouldn’t be so cruel as to allow me to live, but to make me live without you.”

It’s Martin that replies, “I didn’t know. I thought it would be that cruel. Please don’t make me go through that again.”

Jon pulls him in tighter, eliminating the centimeter of space between them. Speaking into Martin’s neck, whispered in fierce devotion, Jon promises, “Never again. Never again. You and me. Together. For the rest of our lives.”

Barely discernible through his sobbing, Martin tells him, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

~*~

There are people that think that wanting is more worthwhile than having. Martin thinks, frankly, that those people have never been in love.

#jonmartinweek2021 #jonmartin #jon sims #martin blackwood #AHHH this is just over TWO THOUSAND words #i really was like for the last prompt i will not Shut Up lmao #also fun fact! part 4 was specifically designed to not be clear whether it was from jon or martins perspective

[wheresmybuckyhoes]

Spiked

Summary: You are forced to go on a mission with Bucky, someone you don’t really get along with. What happens when hydra men get their hands on you?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, blood, violence, drinking, mentions of drugging, references to rape, angst

Well this was longer than I intended. I maaaay write a smutty part 2 if enough people like this, but I hope you firstly just enjoy this little thing I thought of. Love you x

‘You have got to be fucking kidding me’ you groan as you open the suit door to reveal a beautiful room of crimson and black, the intoxicatingly sweet scent of roses wafting through the air. You narrow your eyes, taking in the black marble bathtub, the double shower heads, the ornate fireplace and finally - the source of your anger - the king sized double bed, a bed frame delicately covered in carvings of flowers, dusted in a fading gold.

‘I’m calling Tony’ you seethed, a bratty undertone to your voice as you direct it at the man stood at the doorway, noticing a subtle eye roll adorn his face. The phone rings as you pace around the room, heavy footsteps cushioned by the soft carpet beneath you. Meanwhile Bucky moved to place your bags down on the dresser beneath the window, getting one of the straps caught between the plates on his arm, cursing under his breath as he begins to aggressively pull and twist.

Unsurprisingly, the phone continues to ring until you hear a voice from the other end say ‘Tony Stark is unavailable right now, please leave a message after the bee...’, before angrily pressing the red button on your phone to hang up. ‘Fuck. I am not sharing a bed with you, Barnes. I already hate you enough, no need to make it worse’ you warn him as you toss your phone onto the bed and run your fingers through your hair, a small action which you tend to do when stressed.

‘Obviously not doll’ Bucky breathed as he finally freed the bag from between the plates of his vibranium arm, trying to play it off so you wouldn’t laugh at him. You sighed in relief, a hand on your chest as you turn to look at him.‘Oh thank the gods. I’m sure you’ll be fine on the floor so...’ you started before Bucky held up a hand to shut you up. ‘We won’t be sharing a bed because you’ he explained, poking his metal finger lightly in your chest as he smiled down on you, ‘...will be sleeping on the floor’.

Your mouth fell slightly open, not from surprise though. You knew going on this mission was going to take a lot out of you. You and Bucky were sent on this mission by Tony and Bruce to attend one of those fancy rich people auctions as a fake couple. Your task was to intercept a small branch of hydra trying to sell illegal weapons on the black market. Natasha sniffed them out weeks ago, but she had to go help mother fucking Clint with some shit. I don’t know, or care. It’s Clint. Anyway, Tony promised he would book you a room with 2 separate beds, as you had specifically requested, but looks like the literal billionaire couldn’t even sort that one out.

‘You must be joking’ you snapped back in annoyance, glaring into his crystalline blue eyes which sparkled not so innocently with mischief. ‘Do I look like it?’ he replied, a smirk playing on his annoyingly perfect lips. ‘Do you really think I’m going to sleep on the floor?’ you questioned furiously, gazing upon Bucky with hatred by now. ‘I’d rather you not sleep here at all. That way I wouldn’t even have to look at your face’ he answers carelessly, shooting you a sarcastic smile. You rolled your eyes with an exaggerated flare, glaring at him before shoving past him to grab your bag. ‘Fine. You win this time Bucky. See you at the auction at 9’ you spoke calmly, making sure to bump into him roughly as you made your way over to the door. ‘Wait y/n I didn’t mean...’ you heard his deep voice grumble as you slammed the door as hard as you could. Now, how to get a new room?

——————————(<>)———————————

Pushing the door to your new room open, you were faced with a small single bed, a cramped bathroom and an old desk. It was still quite fancy compared to the hotels you stayed in as a child, but it was nothing compared to the room Bucky had forced you out of. Not really worth flashing that worker in the lobby for, but at least you got the room for free.

It was already 7:50 in the afternoon, and you had little over an hour before you had to be there. You flicked on the lights, and unzipped your bag. You were to wear a silky black dress with a low cut V, a slit down the side to reveal one of your legs and a skirt that fell elegantly to the floor, more than long enough to cover up the knife which will be strapped to your thigh. You spent almost all your time on making your hair and makeup look perfect, giving yourself just under 10 minutes to pull on the dress and a pair of strappy black heels. You lost your shit trying to reach the zipper at the back of the dress, furiously pulling up your thigh holster and sliding in your sharpest knife. You stormed out of the room, racing up the stairs in those heels like a queen to bitch boy’s room. You pounded on it with a clenched fist.

‘Open up’ you yelled through the door. It opened up fast enough, to reveal Bucky standing there in a black suit, in the process of doing up his tie, filling it out perfectly with his bulging muscles, smelling like heaven. Not that he looked good or anything. Definitely not hot. Nope. Bucky sort of stumbled over himself as you brushed past him, gesturing for him to shut the door with your manicured hand. As he spun back around after shutting the door, you caught his eyes trailing over your figure, subtly wide in surprise. ‘Eyes up here boy, I thought you didn’t want to have to look at me’ you whistled, pointing with your fingers. ‘Zip me up. Quickly’ you demanded, turning around.

There was a short pause before you felt Bucky’s warm breath tickle the back of your neck as his cold metal fingers gently brushed against your lower back. He zipped you up carefully, taking your hair in his flesh hand and pulling it gently to the side, sending shivers up and down your spine. God his touch made your skin burn. Before he could say anything else, you reached over to grab his knife, tossing it swiftly so it missed his head by an inch, tip landing firmly in the wooden doorframe. ‘Let’s go’ you motioned with your head, leaving Bucky with his mouth open, eyes burning into your back as he watched you leave, speechless.

You arrived at the auction just in time, showing your passes to the security guards positioned either side of the grand entrance. The knife was digging into your leg, but there was nothing you could currently do about it. You and Bucky swiftly entered, observing and mapping out the area in your heads in case a quick getaway was needed. There was the main stage, with strange looking items laid out across it, including what looked like the stolen tech Nat had described to you. There was the bar, with important looking business men sat beside it ordering drinks and talking about money and sex. There were relatively few women, but those who were present were dressed to the nines. Pearls, diamonds and emeralds sparkled tauntingly from their necks and ears, with dresses that cost more than your entire wardrobe.

You pushed down the tang of jealousy you felt as you thought about how easy these people had it. They can buy anything they want, do anything they want, and be anyone they want. Pulling your thoughts back down to earth, you gently reached out a hand to Bucky’s firm shoulder, pushing slightly so he would lean down to your height. He was pretty fucking tall, after all. ‘I’ll take the bar, that prick gives me hydra vibes. You go do what your good at and be a fuckboy, and try to get something useful out of the ladies. Double tap your earpiece if you’re in danger’ you whispered into his ear, plastering on a fake ass smile to make it seem to anyone watching like you’re just sharing something wonderful with your husband. Being so close to him made you feel all warm and tingly, and it made you slightly nervous. Little did you know, as much as Bucky had an affect on you, he was affected by you just as much if not even more.

You both went in opposite directions. Rubbing your hand up the suspicious looking man’s arm, you turned on your flirty charm and began working. ‘What’s a handsome man like you doing without a girl on your arm’ you drawled, noticing the man gesture quickly with a nod of his head for the man beside him to kindly fuck off. You sat down on the barstool, moving your hand to play with your hair. Men fell for that shit every time. ‘Waiting for someone like you’ the man flirted back, leaning in slightly making you want to cringe. ‘Oh please, I bet every women in here has gone up to you already, Mr...’ you trailed off, trying the most basic trick to getting a name. ‘Please darling, call me Eric’ he replied quickly, eagerly. ‘Let me buy you a drink. A body like yours should be treated with the upmost respect’ he spoke, as more off a demand than a question. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat at the mention of your body, internally screaming at how little respect he seemed to have for women.

As the man turned to the bartender, you quickly spun your head around to try and look for Bucky. Mother fucker had 3 girls all over him. What do you care though, your not actually married and he can do whatever he wants. If the bitch boy wants to fuck them, who cares? Not you, that’s for sure. You keep telling yourself that. You shook your head, turning your attention to the man who was now holding 2 glasses of rosé. You actually really loved rosé, so at least the drink might be nice. As he tapped his glass against yours to produce a satisfying clink, you brought the thin glass to your painted lips. The rosé was delicious and you hummed contently, but there was a slightly salty taste to it. Must be an older brand. You drank and talked with the man for a few more minutes, asking him about his job and his family. You thought you were getting somewhere valuable when you suddenly felt your head start to spin. What the fuck. You knew you were a lightweight, but not like this. You felt your mouth go dry as you looked up at the man. The bitch was smiling.

‘W...what did you do to me?’ you slurred, feeling your mind cloud and your muscles weaken with every passing second. ‘It’s ok gorgeous, it will wear of when I’m done with you. Let’s take you somewhere more private, hm? the man’s voice echoed in your ear as he gripped you roughly by the waist and started moving with you by his side to the door. That’s going to bruise. You tried to move your arm to press your earpiece signalling Bucky for help, but your arm felt weird and tired, and you couldn’t bring yourself to lift it up that high. Instead, you opted for trying to reach for your knife but the man who was sat beside the other previously caught your wrist aggressively and smirked, the 2 men sharing a god awful look. It made you want to crawl inside your skin and die. It was at that moment that it dawned upon you what exactly they wanted to do with you, with your body. You had to escape, except you couldn’t. It was too late. You were outnumbered and could feel your consciousness slipping. You don’t remember much beyond that point. A gun branded with the hydra symbol. An explosion. The taste of blood in your mouth. Cold metal on your shoulder. Shouting, screaming, crying. Black.

———————————(<>)——————————

Your eyes shot open, a head splitting migraine crushing your skull. What the fuck happened, and where the fuck were you? You felt something warm behind you, holding you close and breathing slowly. It smelt heavenly. You took a moment, taking a few slow, deep breaths as you tried to calm yourself down. You pulled the blanket off of your body to reveal a human arm curled securely around your waist, your dress still hugging your body, but the knife was gone. Your mind was still foggy, and you were confused as to why a man’s arm was grasping you. Something snapped in you as some memory of what those men tried to do came back to you, and you felt tears blur your already clouded vision.

Pulling the arm off, you pushed yourself up slowly, turning to look at what was beside you. Your eyes softened when you saw who it was. Bucky was lying beside you in the bed in the original suit, still wearing his suit and loosened tie. He looked so beautiful and peaceful like this. Your look quickly turned to one of concern as you noticed his suit was covered in fresh blood, a few cuts and grazes sprinkled across his handsome face. Your gut twisted and you felt sick as you felt the pain which Bucky must have felt receiving those. Fucking empathy. You reached out mindlessly to run your finger over one of the deeper cuts, but a metal arm flew to catch your wrist in an instant, his eyes shooting open.

‘Oh my god you’re up, you scared me y/n’ he said as his face instantly relaxed and he moved his arm from your wrist to your cheek, brushing away a tear you hadn’t noticed had fallen. ‘What the fuck happened Bucky?’ you asked, hand moving to your head in pain. ‘Shit does it hurt? Are you ok? How do you feel?’ he tried to ask but you wanted answers. Why was he being so nice? You softly batted away his arm and turned to face him in the bed. He sat up. ‘What happened, Bucky’ you asked, sternly this time.

‘Those hydra fuckers must have drugged you or something. I saw them trying to touch you, carrying you out of the room, you looked like you were dead, y/n. I set of a small explosion, nothing dangerous, just enough to get all the civilians shitting their pants and running out, but the building started to collapse. When I got to you they tried to shoot me, the gunshots went of right by your ear. Might explain the headache. I got you out though, thank the gods’ he explained, genuine concern in his eyes.

‘Where are they now?’ you asked trying to get out of bed but feeling another wave of dizziness hit you like a truck. You sat down. Bucky looked down and twiddled your knife between his fingers. ‘Dead’ he replied softly. ‘I killed most of them. I couldn’t get the one who spiked your drink. The blood isn’t mine’. Your hand flew to your mouth automatically. Obviously you had killed before, it wasn’t the death that shocked you. It was the fact he had risked his life like that just to save someone he claimed to hate so much.

‘Why?’ you blurted out, reaching out a hand to tilt his head up gently to look at you. Your heart was skipping every other beat. ‘I don’t know what I would have done if something would have happened to you, y/n’ he replied simply, eyes lingering on your lips as yours lingered on his. ‘They were going to...’ you whispered, before Bucky reached a flesh hand out to cup the side of your face, quickly whispering back ‘I know doll, I know. I was never going to let them do that to you’. ‘But I thought you hated me?’ you sighed, watching conflicting emotions dance in his eyes. You didn’t notice how you held your breath, or how dry your throat was, or how your headache seemingly disappears as your lips finally brushed against the winter soldier’s when he pulled you in, answering your question.

It was so gently, his metal hand sliding down to your waist and pulling you closer to him. You wrapped your hands around his neck as you moved to straddle his lap, feeling his tongue swipe your bottom lip. You opened your mouth to let him in, moaning gently at the feeling of your tongue brushing against his. You kissed him with passion, and he kissed you with longing, both emotions mixing together and causing a comforting warmth to spread all over your body. He pulled away. You frowned. ‘Why’d you stop?’ Bucky laughed lightly and you felt the vibrations from his voice travel through you pleasantly. ‘We still have work to do’ he replied simply, pulling that dazzling smile of his you so rarely saw. ‘I still hate you Bucky’ you mumbled in annoyance.

He lifted you of him with ease, holding you up kindly and making sure you could stand on your own. You wobbled a bit on those 4 inch fucking heels he hadn’t bothered to remove from your feet, but gained your balance and reached for your knife that lay dangerously on the bed. Bucky began to walk to the door. ‘Wait...we aren’t gonna talk about...’ you didn’t finish your sentence, as Bucky had turned around and interrupted smugly ‘about you wanting to fuck me? Later doll, we have shit to do now’. It was his turn to leave, and your turn to watch him walk out. ‘Fucking wanker’ you muttered under your breath as you followed. ‘I heard that’ he shouted from outside the room. It was time to kill the fucker who dared to drug you.

#bucky barnes #fanfic #bucky #bucky barnes imagine #smut #bucky x reader #avengers fanfiction #hydra #captain america #the winter soldier #marvel angst #black widow #tony stark

[shemarmooresfedora]

Rebuilding Family

Summary: Y/N and Spencer were college sweethearts at Cal-Tech but once Spencer got accepted to the FBI Academy, he ended things deciding it was not fair to make Y/N wait for him. When they meet again years later, he discovers something unexpected.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

please read A/N at bottom :)

Masterlist

Chapter 31

Spencer knocked on the LaMontagne’s front door.

He heard Jo screaming, “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” on the other side.

He chuckled, opening the door after hearing JJ yell “it’s open” from another room.

Jo bolted towards him and he scooped the little girl up in his arms.

“How excited are you to meet your baby brother and sister?” he grinned.

“This excited!” Jo outreached her arms to the widest they could possibly go.

“Well, they are very excited to meet you too. They are back at the hospital, resting with Mommy,” Spencer smiled.

“Can I come?” Henry asked.

“You’re going to come later Henry with your mom and dad plus the rest of the team,” Spencer explained.

JJ came around the corner, “Yes, Henry. We will go later. We’re going to give them some family time first.”

“Bye guys,” Spencer waved.

“Thank you Auntie JJ for letting me sleep over,” Jo said, “See you later, Henry!”

“Anytime for a kid with such good manners,” JJ smiled.

-

Spencer set Jo down right in front of the door to your hospital room.

“Okay so we are going to be extra gentle with the twins and Mommy and use our quiet voices,” Spencer reminded Jo.

Jo nodded and Spencer opened the door.

“Hi, Baby J,” you smiled, you were holding Ollie because you just finished breastfeeding him.

“Love, Ophelia is in her bassinet right there if you want to get her,” you told Spencer.

Spencer wasted no time picking Ophelia up because he already missed the babies after just a quick ride to JJ’s. He sat right on the edge of the bed.

Jo crawled into Spencer’s lap so she was right underneath him holding the baby.

“This is Ophelia, Princess. She was born 3 minutes earlier than Ollie,” Spencer rested the baby in her lap so she could hold him with his help.

“Hi, Ophelia,” Jo whispered, leaning down to give the baby a little kiss on the forehead.

“Oh that’s very sweet of you,” you smiled, watching the adorable scene unfold in front of you.

Meanwhile, Spencer was a blubbering mess like his body had gone into cuteness overload. You handed him a kleenex.

Oliver made a soft whine in your arms.

“Jo, I think your brother wants to see you now. You will have plenty of time with the both of them in the future, I promise,” you said.

Jo gently crawled into your lap and you set Ollie down in her lap, “So this is Oliver or Ollie for short.”

“Like the baby elephant in the book?”

“Yes, that was all your idea,” you confirmed.

Jo pressed another soft kiss to Oliver’s forehead.

“I love them a lot,” Jo beamed, switching her focus back and forth between the two babies.

“Daddy and I got you something to wear when the team comes if you want, Baby J,” you motioned to Spencer who grabbed a gift wrapped in dinosaur wrapping paper.

You got Jo a little something because you didn’t want her to feel left out since she was used to having you and Spencer’s full undivided attention but now she was going to have to share it with the twins.

Jo unwrapped the gift, revealing a white shirt with ‘big sis’ written on it in colorful letters.

Jo beamed, “I wanna put it on now please.”

Spencer handed you Ophelia before he helped Jo change into her new shirt. Then, she leaned over the babies in your arms and began blowing raspberries to entertain them. They couldn’t laugh yet but they seemed to be enjoying it. Ollie was staring up at his sister curiously while Ophelia was gurgling happily.

-

You heard a rapid knocking on the door and it swung open as soon as Spencer said “Come in!”

A flash of glitter and pink letting out an excited squeal sped past him. Penelope was in front of you before you knew it. She was setting two teddy bears with sweater vests and a bouquet of flowers down on your table.

“These are for the babies,” she gestured to the fuzzy bears, “and those are for you,” she pointed to the bouquet.

“Thank you so much,” you smiled, “you can put them in the twins’ bassinets if you want.”

“I don’t get a gift,” Spencer fake pouted.

“How many babies did you push out of your vagina yesterday, Boy Wonder?” Penelope retorted.

“Well technically she had a C-section but point taken,” he grinned, “The babies are the greatest gift I could ever get anyways.”

“Okay, names! I need names to call my godbabies!” she demanded.

“Yes since we have kind of unofficially decided that Jo’s godparents are JJ and Will. You and Derek will be the godparents of the twins,” you smiled, “whose names are…” you looked to Jo.

“That one is Oliver or Ollie. I named him!,” she proudly pointed to the little baby in your arms.

“And this is Ophelia,” Spencer tilted the baby in his arms slightly to give the team a better look at her face.

“Awwww,” the team smiled.

“Okay, everyone will get a chance but we’ll let the godparents get first dibs at holding the twins,” you said, starting to hand Ollie to Penelope.

“Wait!” Spencer exclaimed, “Please use the hand sanitizer first. I don’t know where you people have been,” Spencer joked.

Spencer bought baby-safe hand sanitizer in advance and put it in the hospital bag. He was very insistent on everyone using it to keep the twins healthy.

After everyone passed around the sanitizer, Penelope reached for Ollie once again, “Gimme this little cutie pie.”

Spencer carefully passed Ophelia to Derek.

“Hi, Ollie. I’m going to have a lot of fun spoiling you,” Penelope beamed.

“Derek, are you crying?” Hotch asked.

“No,” Derek adamantly denied, still not breaking his gaze away from Ophelia in his arms, “It’s just allergies.”

“Oh, then I should probably pass Ophelia to Emily so you don’t get her ‘sick’,” Spencer grinned.

“No! Five more minutes,” Derek insisted, “Ophelia, I’m your Uncle Derek. Can you say De-rek?”

“Morgan, she was born 16 hours, 35 minutes, and 53 seconds ago. She is not going to be talking already,” Spencer stated.

“Hey, you never know with your smarty pants genes, Kid.”

“Reid, coincidentally, today marks the end of your year leave from the BAU. I’m going to need an answer by the end of the day if you’re returning or not,” Hotch stated, “We’ll support you either way but I already have a feeling about your answer.”

Spencer made eye contact with you and then he looked at Jo leaning over Ollie in Penelope’s arms and JJ and Emily playing peek-a-boo with Ophelia in Derek’s arms.

“As much as I love you guys, I can’t come back. I think my heart would physically be ripped out of my chest if I had to leave my family for an extended period of time,” Spencer chuckled.

You smiled softly up at him and he grabbed your hand, kissing it softly with all the admiration and love in the world.

A/N: hello my loves! i am asking you for some feedback here (a comment, an ask, whatever you want). i currently have 2 WIP one-shots (one is A/F and one is just pure fluff). would you like me to prioritize chapters of this fic or try to get my WIPs out and only get out like one RF chapter a week? please understand that even if i prioritize RF chapters they will still be on a delayed schedule. thank you so much for your patience and feedback in advance!

taglist: (just ask to be added or removed!): @samuel-de-champagne-problems @g0lden-cth @spencerreid9 @averyhotchner @coldlilheart @k-k0129 @ickleronniekinsemotionalrange @harrystylesandthegoobs @cmily @rem-ariiana

#spencer reid fluff #dad!spencer #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x y/n #spencer x reader #criminal minds #reid x reader #cm fanfic #spencer reid #dr spencer reid

[suchalonelysunflower]

Tell Me a Lie (c.h)

Pairing: Calum Hood X Fem!Reader

Requested: Kinda yes!

Summary: Part 2 of Tell Me What You’re Thinking. The aftermath of the dreadful night that left two broken hearts along the way. Could they ever fic it?

Warnings: ANGST. Language, mentions of drugs and alcohol, mentions of cheating. Some grammar mistakes (I’m sorry, English is not my first language)

Word count: 5.8k

Author’s note: Holy! I never thought I would end up writing a part 2 of this, but I’m so glad so many of you requested it and supported it 🥺❤️ thank you so so so much. As you know: Reblogs, Coments, Feedbacks and likes are more than welcomed and encouraged! I’d love to hear from you guys and I can’t wait to see how you react to this and the question: if you were on the readers shoes, would you forgive him? Thank you so much, hope you like it and Happy Reading ✨🦋🌻

Part 1

My materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

Calum stopped laughing at Mitchy a long time ago, but he didn’t seem to notice. Frankly, he was regretting his decision on inviting the singer today, knowing that he was completely high even before he got to the house.

He secretly envided Ashton who got away a few moments earlier, he couldn’t blame him at all as he wondered what he was doing in his kitchen and if he should go to make him company and leave Mitchy alone in his own world, not that he would notice either way.

But just before he decided to get up and leave, just like he could read his thoughts, Ashton walked into the living room. A feeling of relief washed over Calum as he saw his best friend approach, hoping that he could spare him some actual good conversations, but the drummer seemed too busy as he grabbed his phone from the coffee table and stepped outside to make a call, entering the house a few moments later to grab his jacket and his keys.

“Where are you going Ash?” Calum asked, almost begging him to stay and not leave him alone with Mitchy.

But Ashton didn’t spare a glance at him as he muttered through gritted teeth “I’m leaving”

Calum was confused by his friend's attitude, not knowing what caused his strange behavior. But before he could ask him, Mitchy beat him to it “Aw man! We are just going to the club to meet some hot chicks! You should come with us!”

And that was the last straw Ashton needed to unleash the rage behind his eyes, the same rage he was holding all night as he watched you cry in the kitchen a few minutes ago.

Calum watched as Ashton’s face completely disfigured itself as he started yelling.

“You are both such assholes!” He said, looking between Mitchy and Calum, making the latter one jump in his seat at the sudden outburst “Do you even realize what you did? You just made the most amazing person on this planet feel like shit cause you can’t keep your comments to yourselves!” He looked at Mitchy “You don’t know a single fucking shit about her to talk about her like that. If you knew her you’d know that Y/N is amazing the way she is and you should be ashamed of yourself for disrespecting such an incredible woman like that!” Then he looked at Calum, who looked like he’d just seen a ghost “And you… I’m so disappointed in you. I can’t even look at you right now. You were really going to cheat on her? Are you really that stupid to lose her like that?! To lose her at all?! Do you know how incredibly lucky and incredibly stupid you are?! I am disgusted with both of you. And Y/N doesn’t deserve to cry for such man babies who’d talk about her behind her back”

At the sound of your name, Calum’s world fell at his feet. Did you know what Mitchy and him talked about? That wasn’t what he meant!

“Y-Y/N-“ He said, gripping the edge of his seat. Ashton just looked at him with pity “She heard it all”

That was almost three months ago. Three months since he watched the love of his life walk away from him and leave him alone. Three months since Ashton had said a full sentence to him that wasn’t filled with utter disappointment. Three months since he cut ties with Mitchy, claiming that he never wanted to see the singer again and that he should not try to contact him or any of the boys again. Three months where every night he comes to an empty house, hoping that it was all a bad dream and that he’ll find you in the kitchen studying for your next test or waiting for him with a glass of wine just to talk and share a moment with him. But now you won’t even spare him a glance.

He knew he couldn’t blame you. That is the last thing on his mind when he thinks about that night and all that led to it. More often than not he would find himself turning and tossing on his bed, unable to sleep. The memory of your tear filled eyes and the echoing sound of your voice take over him as he relives that moment over and over again, still unable to find anything in him to make you stay.

If he could change the past, out of all the wrongs he’d done, he will make it right for you. He would tell Mitchy to go fuck himself, kick him out for disrespecting you that way. He would have gone to find you in his room, make you pack your stuff and take you away to that mini holiday you never got live. He would cover you in kisses and beg you not to leave him because he will miss you too much. He would tell you that he loves you more than anything in his life and that he is sorry he couldn’t love you more.

But time cannot be reversed and some hurts might never be healed.

And Calum misses you, Duke misses you. But he knows you are not coming back anytime soon, Ashton made sure to tell him that in one of the last conversations he had with him.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” The drummer said a few days later when he got sick of Calum constantly questioning him about you “And not only because she made me swear not to tell you anything. But because if I start talking about her and how you broke her, I cannot promise you it will end well for you. All I can tell you is that she is safe.”

At least he knew you were with Ashton, you always confided in him as your best friend. But that also meant that Ashton had to take sides and he made it very clear from that night that he was on yours. Luke and Michael stood neutral to the fight, knowing it would only hurt the band even more, but they told Calum that this time he was on his own if he ever tried to take you back.

And, then again, Calum cannot blame them. He knew that if they were in his shoes he’d do the same thing. What he did was horrible, the coward’s way to face things. And there was nothing he regretted more.

He tried to occupy his time with whatever came to mind, he could not stand being alone with his thoughts cause the only thing he did was think of you. So today he decided to go on a run.

It was a horrible thing that it didn’t work, cause after minutes or hours of running through the streets without a clear path, he ended up in front of Ashton’s place.

He knew he shouldn’t do it, that the right thing to do was to give you space. But when he saw the lightest shadow of your figure grace the window, he knew he had to see you, even just one more time. So he knocked on the door and prayed to every god he’d ever known that you would answer.

But nothing could prepare him for when you did.

You don’t remember much about the rest of that night. The night where you jumped in Ashton’s car and fled the house you used to know as home.

You remember Ashton having to carry you to his guest room, or at least you assumed he did it cause you don’t remember walking up the stairs. You remember crying, hanging onto his shirt and asking the universe why? Why didn’t he do anything? Why didn’t he fight for you? Why did you have to love him still?

You begged for Ashton to stay with you, the thought of being alone that night terrified you. But he replied that he was planning on doing it anyway “I’m not leaving you, Y/N” He said, and those were the most comforting words you heard all day until you fell asleep from crying too much.

The next morning you woke up alone and you didn’t know where you were. The sheets were not yours, the wallpaper and the pictures were unknown to you and the smell was unfamiliar. Unconsciously you reached your hand to the other side, finding it empty but still kind of warm and you wondered if Calum had taken Duke out for a walk like he used to do every Saturday morning that he was home.

Only when Ashton came into the room carrying a tray with a warm breakfast on it did you remember the incidents of the night before. Your eyes filled with tears again as you watch him lay the tray in front of you.

“I know you don’t want to hear this,” He said, his voice was comforting at best, but you couldn’t help but hear the pity that came with it “But you need to eat. I know you haven’t been eating anything since at least yesterday's noon”

You looked at the food and shook your head “C’mon babe, for me?” He asked, softly rubbing your shoulder “I know I’m not the best cook but at least I know this is edible” He joked, making you chuckle through the tears that were already spilling from your eyes.

“I don’t know what to do” You honestly tell him.

“Do you want to talk to him?”

“No.” You replied quickly “I don’t want to see him and I don’t want him to see me” Ashton looked at you and it almost seemed like he wanted to say something, but eventually just nodded at your wish “I just- I need to get my other stuff out of the house and-”

“I can let you know when he’s out. That way you won’t have to face him if you don’t want to”

“Thank you, Ash.” You smiled at him gratefully, placing your hand on top of his “I’m going to start looking for a new place soon and-”

“None of that” Ashton said shaking his head “You can stay here! I don’t have a roommate and, I’m sorry, but I don’t like the idea of you being alone” You opened your mouth to say something, but he continued “I promise I will talk to Calum that he is not welcomed here without my, and now your, permission. I won’t let him hurt you again”

That was three months ago and you can honestly say that you are doing just fine by now.

Yes, the first few weeks you spent them in your bed, crying and heartbroken at the thought of losing the love of your life. Calum was everything to you and it seemed like in the blink of an eye that “everything” crumbled right in front of you as you realized just how little you meant to him.

Many nights you tried to fool yourself into thinking that it was all a big misunderstandment. That you somehow misheard every word and it was just your brain creating scenarios that would never become a reality. However, the faintest echo of Calum’s laughter at Mitchy’s comments, his agreeability to go on with his plan, the things he said and the things he didn’t say… they were all still tattooed inside your head.

“A good fuck” That’s what he said. That was the only positive thing he had to say while his friend mocked you and humiliated you like it was nothing. Like if he hadn’t thought those things before.

You decided you wanted nothing to do with him. You blocked his number and deleted his number. You also begged Ashton not to cause anymore scenes between the two of them, knowing how badly it could affect the band if they let their feelings come between them.

A month went by, then two and now three, and not a day goes by that you don’t think of Calum and how he’s doing, if he has a new girl or if he ever got to meet that Vanessa girl. You knew it wasn’t healthy, but you spent so many years loving him that it was impossible to fall out of love for him, even after he hurt you so badly.

Ashton helped a lot. He always tried to cheer you up, even inspiring you to try yoga and meditation to help you clear your thoughts and bring new energy into your life. And, even if you hate to admit it, it worked! In these three months you found out things about yourself that you never thought of before. You realized that all your dreams were for you and Calum, yet none of those dreams were only for you.

Your career, your job… those were your dreams. But soon enough those dreams became shared once you met Calum, pushing them aside from time to time to accompany him on tour, or to help him write a song or two when he got stuck, or even just because he asked you to. You were more than happy to do so, but you did that for him, for the both of you, not for you.

With that in mind, you began to search for yourself, for your needs and wants. You aren’t quite there yet, but it helps you keep your mind busy from the heartache. And, slowly and steady, you began to feel more like yourself again.

Just like right now, you asked Ashton to grab some things from the store once he’s back from the studio, telling him you were going to try to cook some pastries that your mom used to make when you were little. He said he’d be home soon and that’s why you weren’t surprised to hear the knock on your door, knowing that he usually forgets his keys in every set of skinny jeans he owns.

You laughed at yourself, thinking of teasing him about having a set of keys for every pair of jeans he owned. Only this time it wasn’t Ashton who was standing at the other side of the door.

Calum swore his heart could not break anymore until he saw how your smile disappeared from your face when you realized it was him. You were looking good, better than him at least. Your hair was a little bit longer and you still wore socks inside the house. But your eyes… your eyes were different. They didn’t shine anymore with that gleam that got him completely hooked to your gaze, the gleam that was reserved just for him. Now, he could only see himself reflected in those y/e/c eyes and he could see the disappointment behind them.

The first thing that comes into your mind was his beard, he never used to have a beard before, he always kept his face clean and neat but now his scruff was decorating his jawline and you were not sure you liked it. His clothes were a mess too, you realized he came running as you took in the beads of sweat that covered his forehead, but his clothes seemed old and they were not matching. He never really cared about the clothes he’d wear when he was in a rush.

You took your time to meet his eyes, knowing that once you stared at those brown orbs you might just break down. But once you did, it was like you were able to stand taller, to stand up to him as the only feeling you had running through your head was doubt.

“What are you doing here?” You asked. Not a hello, not a welcome, not even his name. Calum knew he deserved none of that.

He flinched at the sound of your voice. The voice that once was sweet as honey, was now cold and hard like steel, just like it sounded before you left.

“Y/N I-” He said, pleading with a string of his voice, trying his hardest not to cry in front of you. Suddenly now he realized just how hard it was to see you again “Can we talk?”

You hesitated and Calum noticed that. He saw how you gripped the doorknob, and he hoped that you let him in despite knowing that he deserves to have that door close on his face.

“Please?”

You knew you couldn't resist him, not only that but something inside you begged for you to let him in, to hear him out. However, you could not help but feel a little bit scared. You weren’t ready to see him, but you have to.

With a sigh, you opened the door. You watched how his shoulders relaxed as he let go of his breath. He was as scared as you were.

Calum walked inside the living room. He hasn’t been here in months, but he can recognize your touch. You were everywhere in this room and he assumed that would be the case for all of the house as well. He recognized a few decorations that once adorned your shared home, you took them all with you when you left. Leaving him with not a single trace of you to hold on to.

You closed the door and followed after him. You found Calum standing in the middle of the room, checking the pictures you brought from his house, you knew he was trying to, even hoping to find himself in one of them, but all of those pictures were tucked away now, leaving all those memories behind.

Calum turned to you once you entered the room. He looked defeated, broken even, and your heart could not stand it. Even after all he put you through, you still care for him and you are sure you will always care for him, even when you don’t want to.

“I cannot start this conversation without saying how sorry I am” He said, hands in his pockets and eyes locked in yours. You could already feel the tears start to come but you held them back.

“Calum-” Calum, not Cal or babe or love. Just Calum.

He closed his eyes for a moment, taking in how the sound of his name now held no comfort for him “I need to say it, Y/N. Please” You nodded and he continued “I am an idiot. A stupid son of a bitch who lost everything before he ever realized what he’d done and I’m sorry, Y/N. I am so terribly sorry and I hope one day you could believe that” You wanted to say that you did, but he beat you to it “And I know that a simple sorry doesn’t fix things… fuck I don’t even know how to begin. I thought I was ready to see you and tell you just how fucked up I am without you but-” He started to choke up, his feelings were overwhelming even for you “When I look at you all I want to do is hold you close and it kills me that I can’t do that”

“I have no excuse, Y/N. No excuse that doesn’t make me sound like an asshole for treating you the way I did. Cause that’s exactly what I am, I am an asshole who lost the best thing that has ever happened to him just because he was too much of a coward to say anything.

But you have to know - you must know that I don’t think of you that way. I never did nor I ever will. Bab-Y/N, you have no idea what you mean to me and I know I’m shit at showing it to you but I swear, I swear none of what he said that night it’s true. What he said… I was so angry at him, I still am, if I’m being honest and that’s why I ended the friendship right there. I tried to convince myself that he was just high out of his head, that he says shitty things when he’s out of his mind and the only way to make him shut up was by following along to what he was saying. And I know it sounds stupid, fuck.. I don’t even know why I did it! At that moment I was just thinking that I didn’t want the night to end in an endless fight with him cause there was no way of shutting him up and now I wish I would’ve just kicked him out the minute your name came out of his mouth. I hate him and I hate myself for the pain I caused you. I know that it would be useless to say that if I knew you were there I would’ve ended it right there. But I know that even doing it behind your back was an act of disrespect and I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve any of that, any of the pain or the tears… I’m still haunted by the memory of you leaving.

What I said that night was true. I had never and would never cheat on you, that’s not who I am and you know it. I wasn’t even going to go to that stupid club and meet the girl he wanted to introduce me. You gotta believe me on that one, I would’ve never forgiven myself if I did it. I can’t even forgive the thought of it or even the simple thought of faking to consider it for Mitchy to shut up… I would have never-”

“I believe you” You say.

Somewhere along his speech your eyes stopped trying to keep the tears at bay and just let them roll down your cheeks and into your shirt. You watched as he paced the room, trying his best to come up with the right words to apologize to you, to make you believe him when in reality you believed in him since the moment he walked through the door. You knew Calum and you know that his heart is always true. But his words did not make anything better.

“I believe you, Calum. I do. I just-” You snuffle “You said you just didn’t want to start a fight… Am I not worth fighting for?”

Calum almost ran to you when he noticed the tears. He always hated to see you cry, but now more than anything knowing that he’s the reason for your sadness.

“Baby, I’d start a war for you.” He said, cupping your face with his hands and delicately wiping your tears with his thumb “I’m sorry it took me so long to realize, but I’d do anything for you, my love. Anything.”

“Then why didn’t you?” You cried, pushing yourself away from him.

Calum’s heart broke once again when you pushed him away. He wanted nothing more than to console you but he knew he didn’t have the right to do so.

“Because I failed to realize that there was a possibility of you not being with me anymore” He said, confidently “When I think of you, I think of forever. I never thought that it will ever come to an end, that you could leave me at any point or that the love will just fade away… I thought about a family together, a life where it will always be you and me. I got too confident that I ended up losing you. I failed you, Y/N. I know I did, and I can’t forgive myself for that”

His eyes were honest as they stared at you. You could feel the burn in your throat as you tried to speak “I thought of a forever with you as well” You said softly.

Calum took a step closer. It was the first time he’d ever let his heart hope for some kind of saving grace, for some kind of forgiveness and a start over “Then, say we can try again. Say that we can get through this and we can fix it, because I want nothing more than to fix this and go back to what we once had, or to start over if you want! I just need you in my life, Y/N. Tell me we’ll be alright”

He knew it was a long shot, but he had to try. He didn’t take the chance to defend her before, but he was sure he was not going to let her go again if there was still a chance of a future together.

“I don’t know if we can”

Every ounce of hope fled through Calum’s hands as he processed what you said. He could feel the earth under his feet start to shake as his world came crumbling down once again.

“Calum, I knew you never cheated on me and I appreciate your honesty.” You said as you wiped out your tears with the back of your hand “But the simple thought of you considering it broke every trust I had in you, even if you weren’t being serious about it, I can’t stop picturing you with some random girl while I waited for you at home every night. And not only that but the words you said that night still haunt me. Mitchy’s comments weren’t as insulting as the fact that you didn’t contradict him in any way. I felt humiliated, Calum. Humiliated by someone I loved in front of someone who you knew didn’t like me and would take any chance he’d get to demonstrate that.

It took me weeks to realize that I didn’t do anything wrong, but I still believed that that was the perception you had of me all this time. How can I come back from that?”

Calum’s eyes were pleading, his expression remaining unmoving from the pain that he caused himself by hurting you. But he was determined to make it right.

“We can!” Calum said, desperately trying to reach for your touch as he grabbed your hand and started kissing it “Baby, no. No, no no no please don’t say that. I love you with all my heart and it kills me to know that I’ve wronged you. I’ll make it up for it, everyday for the rest of my life but, please, at least say we can try. I- I know I don’t deserve it, but please. I can’t live without you”

You pulled your hand away from him, slowly as you watched the tears pour down out of his eyes “I thought I couldn’t live without you either. And yet, I am. I’m learning to live my life for myself rather than living it for the both of us-”

“I never asked you to do it”

“You didn’t have to. I wanted to. I wanted your dreams to be mine and to be by your side cause I thought that’s the only thing I wanted in life, but I don’t know anymore, Calum. All my dreams were shared with you that I don’t even know if I have some of my own!” You watched Calum’s face slowly lose all kinds of hope he had left and you know you should’ve felt at least a little bit guilty, but that’s not the case. On the contrary, it felt like you deserve this time for yourself “But now I need to find myself, find what I want and what’s good for me and I need to do that alone.

I can’t force my feelings, and I cannot force myself to trust you again when I can’t. Calum, you have to understand that you are a whole new person for me now. I used to believe that you would never hurt me and then, you did”

Calum’s knees fell to the floor as he reached for you once again, holding onto your legs as he desperately tried to make you stay. Stay in any form or way, stay in love with him, stay with him, stay… anything for you not to disappear from his life once again.

“Please, don’t.” He pleaded at your feet “I won’t forgive myself for this. I’m so sorry, my love. My Y/N. Please, don’t. I can’t love anyone but you”

You gripped his shoulders, trying to stay balanced as the curly haired man cried, making you shred a new set of tears again “Oh, but you will.” You reassured him, hoping your tone was convincing enough “Your heart is big enough to love again, to love better. Of course you will”

“But I don’t want to” He separated from you, long enough for you to crouch down in front of him so you could wipe some tears from his face “D-do you want to?” He asked softly.

You saw yourself reflected on his red, puffy eyes. He was never a man that could share his emotions so openly and, even though you’ve seen him cry before, the sight in front of you completely shattered your heart, knowing that his was utterly broken as well. But you can’t lie about your feelings, even if they hurt.

“I don’t know what I want.” You whispered to him.

Suddenly, you hear the front door opened as Ashton’s loud and cheering voice came floating towards your ears. Your eyes widen at the thought of his possible reaction, he’d hate to see Calum here, knowing that he specifically asked him to leave you alone until you were ready to see him, but he’d hate more the fact that you are crying.

“Y/N! I couldn't find that weird ingredient you asked, so I had to ask a lady there that seemed like she could cook and she said that this will work better on your-”

His eyes fall to the floor where you are kneeling down beside Calum. His eyes flickered between you and him, showing all kinds of emotions as he took in the scenario in front of him. He noticed that you were crying and he was about to ask what the hell was going on, but you beat him to it.

You got up and wiped some tears from your face as you walked up to Ashton, grabbed his hand and led him to the kitchen. He reluctantly followed, leaving Calum alone in the living room.

“Okay, what the fuck?” Ashton asks in a hushed tone as he sets the groceries on the kitchen counter “What is he doing here?”

You sighed “I don’t know. Everything is fine Ash, don’t worry. He came to apologize and-”

“Did he say anything to make you cry?” He asked with concern. His hands were cupping your face as he wiped some tears from your puffy eyes, yet his hazel eyes never left your gaze for a second.

“We are both crying, Ashton. It’s fine”

You notice he is not convinced at all, but he won’t fight you on this. You’ve come so far that he is confident that you can defend and stand up for yourself again. He’s seen you broken so many times in the past few months, but he’s also seen you pick yourself up piece by piece like a phoenix.

“Are you okay?” Was the only thing he said. You can’t blame him for being protective of you, and you appreciated that. After all this time he is the only comfort you know won’t leave you behind.

“I will be, don’t worry” You said with a smile. He smiled back at you.

“I will always worry, love. Want me to leave you alone with him? I don’t want to but I feel like I won’t have a choice either way” You nod, “I’ll be down the hall if you need me to kick him out. I love you” He said, placing a kiss to your forehead and giving you a hug.

“I love you, too” You respond as he walks away.

You take a minute to compose yourself before going back to the living room where Calum is waiting.

Calum, on his part, was already on his feet. The tears were drying themselves on his cheeks as he watched you enter the room again.

“Sorry about that,” You said “He gets-”

“Protective, I know” Calum completes the phrase “He loves you, so I get it”

There is an awkward silence between the two of you, almost like if a wall was standing in the middle of the room, separating both of you in different paths. There were so many things left unsaid, like the way Calum felt guilty after seeing you with Ashton and realizing what he should’ve done months ago, or the way you noticed how he was closing up again, shutting himself out from his own feelings, but you both knew that now it wasn’t the time. You didn’t even know if that time would come.

Calum was the first one to talk after a while “And I get what you’re saying, I really do and I support you in every way… But I mean it when I say that i don’t want love if it’s not you” You sighed.

“And what will happen if it’s not me, then?”

He stays quiet,but a tiny smile creeps on his face as he is trying to offer you some comfort “I guess we’ll find out. But I’ll wait for you, Y/N. I will always wait for you cause I know that we belong together. And I promise I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it right for you. To prove my love for you”

“I can’t ask you to do that, and I won’t” You say after a while “We both need to figure ourselves out, to find a life without the other one around, and, if we do end up together, then that’s beautiful. But you have to be open to the possibility of another ending, Calum. I cannot stand around and watch you waste your life away”

Calum nods, he knows you are right, but that doesn’t mean he likes what you are saying. He will respect your decision, though. He knows his love isn’t fragile.

He knows that it was his time to go. He knows that he could still say so much, he could still apologize ten thousand more times and claim his love till infinity, but he knows you won’t change your mind and he can’t, no, he won’t blame you for that. So he turns to leave, but before he gets the chance to do it, you grab him by the arm and pull him for one last hug.

You don’t know what came over you, but a voice inside of you begged you to hold him closer, just one more time and remember what it felt like to be wrapped inside his embrace. And as you held each other close, somehow you both knew that this was a goodbye.

“This is it?” He asks after a silent moment of tears and snuffles, with face hidden in the crook of your neck, taking in your perfume and engraving it in his memory.

“I’m not sure,” You say “It might be”

“If it is. Could you lie and tell me you love me?” Calum pleads “Just for one last time?”

You pull him closer to you, “I could lie and tell you that I don’t”

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @talksoprettyjjx @mystic-232

And I also wanna tag some of the beautiful people who asked for a part 2, I hope you liked it ✨ @theshyspy @wonderlandiswhereitsatyo @wontlastimokwiththat @wldflwercal Thank you ❤️

#calum hood #5 seconds of summer #5sos #calum hood angst #calum hood fanfiction #calum hood imagine #calum hood fic #suchalonelysunflower #fanfic #calum imagine #calum 5SOS #calum 5 seconds of summer #ashton irwin #calum x reader #calum hood x reader #calum x you #calum hood 5sos #calum hood 5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer fanfiction #5sos fic #5sos angst #5sos dam #calum rec #part 2 #tell me what you’re thinking #tell me a lie

[corpsedaydream]

paint wars part 2

OKAY HERE IT IS! PART TWO TO PAINT WARS

if u haven’t read part one, i’ll link it right here

word count: 3k (yikes it’s a long one)

_______________________________

paint wars part 2

Things had been rough lately.

Real fucking rough.

You missed Corpse so much. You hadn’t spoken to each other since that fight at his apartment and that was fifty-four days ago now, almost two thirds of a season you’d been without him.

“I miss you.” You spoke aloud into the emptiness of your apartment, noting that the time on your phone now said 12:01am. It was officially now day fifty-five without speaking to him.

You swiped away all your notifications on your lock screen, ignoring everything and everyone that was trying to reach you right now so you could look at the person who was ignoring you. You wanted to look at the photo that was still your wallpaper. That first photo you’d ever taken together.

You went to change it on day thirty-eight of not speaking. On night thirty-seven of not speaking you’d gone out with your friends, they’d finally convinced you after a whole month of trying and you got absolutely wasted. So of course you’d called Corpse. But he didn’t answer, not any of the fifteen times you’d called. So that next morning, when you woke up hungover and saw that same lock screen photo and not one response from him, you told yourself you were going to change it. You tried to tell yourself you were angry, but it was just a coping mechanism to ignore the hurt that had been tunnelling through your heart since being without him. You spent an hour scouring tumblr and twitter for some aesthetically pleasing lock screen, but you didn’t save a single one. Nothing could compare to that photo of you and Corpse.

You then started to wonder if he’d listened to any of the voicemails you’d left the night before. You couldn’t remember them exactly, but you knew you definitely left four of them and how badly you wanted to know if the curiosity became too much to bear and he’d listened to them.

And he had.

On night thirty-seven, while you were out drinking, Corpse was in a deep sleep. He hadn’t been sleeping a whole lot lately, so finally, he’d crashed hard that night and slept through the calls you’d made to him. But even though he wasn’t aware of the calls in his sleeping state, you were still present in his dreamland. Every adventure his brain took him on was with you, maybe it was something that kept him asleep, the fact that you were right there in this fantasy. You were talking to him again, he could see your smile, hear your laugh, reach out and grab your hand, he could kiss you again. It was happiness. But then he woke up and he went to reach out for you in his bed, still caught up in the false wonder his dreams had provided him, only to find it was just him and reality slapped him fully awake. You weren’t there with him. You hadn’t been for a number of weeks. He missed you.

On day thirty-eight, when he spotted the missed calls from you on his phone, he cursed himself for being asleep and missing it. But would he had answered had he been awake? He wasn’t sure. So instead, he heard you speak to him for the first time in so long, even if it was through a voicemail you had left in the space of him not answering your calls.

“Oh, fuck- oh my god.”

That was it. That was the first voicemail, there was a lot of background noise but he had heard you so clearly. In your drunken state, you didn’t know what to say, so that’s what you had left with him, until you called back and left another.

"Hi.” You started it simple. He had the phone clutched so tightly in his hand, the device pressed so firmly against his ear, he didn’t want to miss a word. “I- I don’know what to say.” He noticed the slight slur to your words then, you were drunk when you had called. “I’m’a just go.”

You hung up again, but alas, there was another.

“Can I just ask... are you ignoring me?” Your voice was so meek, his chest hurt at the sound of it. He almost went to say no, but this was a one sided conversation, he’d missed the opportunity. “I miss you.” You hung up again, and he had to stop himself from replaying it over and over again to hear you say that you missed him.

But there was one last voice mail.

“I should stop calling, huh?” You sighed and he could picture you with a sad pout, your eyes all droopy with a mix emotion and alcohol. “But, I just want’a talk to you.” You confessed, then he heard another voice call your name in the background before they spoke to you and he listened. “(Y/N)! Here you are, what are you doing? That guys wondering where you are, he’s fucking hot-”

Corpse hung up then, he didn’t want to hear anymore. Jealousy was surging through him as the unwanted images of you with someone else plagued his mind and he threw his phone across his room. Wishing he hadn’t of started listening to those fucking voicemails.

What he didn’t know, though, is how the rest of that last voicemail went.

“I really don’t care.” You’d told your friend at the mention of the guy. Yeah, he was attractive and he was buying you drinks, but you wanted no one except Corpse. “Give me a sec.” You’d told your friend before walking away again, bringing your phone back to your ear to talk to the only person you wanted to talk to right now, even if he wasn’t on the other end of that call. “I hope you didn’t hear that, but if you did, don’t worry it. I’m g’na go home now.” You sighed and looked up at the night sky, there was no shooting star, or really any stars at all because of the light pollution from where you currently were, but you were still wishing that by some magic happenstance, Corpse would pick up his phone and speak to you again. “I wish I was going to yours.”

On day thirty-nine you cried so hard. You thought you had made it past this violently sobbing stage, this was exact state you’d cried yourself to sleep to each night for the first few weeks. Your heart was in so much pain, it was torn apart and you swore only one person had the power to stitch it back together, but he wasn’t there. You hadn’t heard a single thing from him. Were you two still together? Had you broken up? You weren’t even sure. But on day thirty-nine you cried that hard again because Corpse hadn’t responded at all to your calls or voicemails, so you convinced yourself he truly wanted nothing to do with you.

You’d been avoiding searching his name on social media, knowing it would send you into a spiral and you’d overthink every little thing but on day forty-two you’d noticed on twitter that he was playing games live. He wasn’t live himself, but you watched someone’s stream just to hear him again. You cried again doing this, because he was being exceptionally quiet, he wasn’t his normal self, he barely laughed once.

You wished you hadn’t clicked on it. The guilt you felt was already immense, but hearing him so not like himself made you feel even worse for causing all of this. You stopped watching, you couldn’t bear it. You knew you were to blame for all of this, you pushed him too far, you couldn’t believe how stupidly you had acted, you knew better and you did it anyway. The self attacking thoughts kept swirling your mind until you gave yourself a headache.

On day fifty-six of still not talking to each other, you ventured out to the beach with just your best friend. She’d been there for you a lot lately, she also felt bad about that night, but you tried to assured her it was your own fault. She didn’t know Corpse like you did, she didn’t know him at all, that’s why you felt to blame for not stopping the idea before it was too late.

“You should put sunscreen on.” Your best friend told you. You were laying on your towel in the direct sun, enjoying the warmth blasting into your skin, you hadn’t been to the beach in such a long time.

“Yeah.” You answered her, but you knew you weren’t going to. Another time, you would have, you knew the familiar sting of sunburn well and you normally put it on to look after your skin, but you hadn’t really been taking care of yourself too well lately, you just didn’t care enough.

On night fifty-six, you stood in front of your bathroom mirror looking over your body. You’d spent a lot longer at the beach than you realised and now you were burnt so badly and as red as a tomato. “Fuck.” You said out loud, turning and looking over your shoulder to inspect your back, it was just as red. You should’ve worn sunscreen. You left your bathroom to go find your aloe vera plant, only to find that it was dead. “Fuck!” You repeated, the one hope you had to help heal your skin even slightly quickly vanishing. “Oh, fuck. What am I going to do?”

That’s how you found yourself heading towards a 24 hour store to purchase whatever aloe vera cream or gel you could find, you knew it wouldn’t be as good as the plant itself, but you needed something. It was late and you were anxious as you neared the shop, you knew about this place from Corpse, he would often go there at odd hours to get whatever he needed. It was close to his place and you hadn’t driven around this area since that disaster of a night.

You squinted your eyes as you walked in and the harsh fluorescent lights pierced into your eyes after walking in from the night time. You were walking quickly and you told yourself it was because you were embarrassed about your skin being so burnt and you didn’t want anyone to see you like this, but it was really because you were so anxious over the thought of who you could potentially run into in this shop. Your swift steps brought you to the skin care isle and you let your eyes scan the shelves for the aloe vera you so desperately sought out.

“(Y/N)?”

You froze completely and you swore you even felt your heart stop beating. Hearing his voice speak your name again felt like lighting had struck right through you. This couldn’t be real, this had to be your imagination playing some sort of sick joke on you. Slowly, you turned towards the direction his voice had come from and sure enough, there he was. Dressed in all black, a beanie on his head and a mask over the bottom half of his face, your eyes locked with his. There was a pull in your chest, your heart had heard him, too and it wanted so badly to be with him, to be healed by him. You had thought up this scenario a million times over these past fifty-six days, of what would happen had you and him had a run in like this and in every single one you had so much to say, but right now, you were speechless.

Before you had a chance to even try to say anything if you managed to stop being stuck in silence, Corpse spoke again.

“Fucking hell,” He neared you and you sucked in a quick breath at his sudden movement. “Look how burnt you are.” You were wearing tights and an oversized hoodie, so your entire body was covered, but your face was just as burnt and clearly he had noticed. 

This was another aspect that didn’t fit into your scenarios you’d thought up about this moment. You’d imagined you would’ve look amazing. But instead of looking like some beautiful mermaid, you were the same colour as Ariel’s hair from The Little Mermaid. “I know, don’t look at me.” You huffed and dropped your head down, letting your beach waved hair fall around your face.

“You didn’t wear sunscreen?”

“Obviously not.”

“That was silly.”

“I know.”

“Are you sore?”

“Yeah.” It felt so natural to have this back and forth with him. It was brief, but it was enough for your heart to kick back into gear and speed up.

He stayed silent for a prolonged moment so you looked back to his face and his eyes were on your face but it was his turn to glance away then and you took the opportunity to really soak in his side profile. You’d even missed just being able to look at him. 

“Why are you here?” He asked you.

“I need aloe vera and I knew this place would be open.”

“You’re not using your plant?” Butterflies fluttered inside of you that he remembered a simple mundane fact that you preferred the healing touch of the actual plant for sunburn as opposed to what was bought at a store in a bottle.

“It died.”

Corpse suddenly looked back to you and much to your surprise, he laughed.

“Why are you laughing?!”

“How do you kill a succulent?”

“You know I’m not good at gardening and shit like that.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think you’d be able to kill a succulent.” He laughed harder and you started to smile, he was teasing you but it felt so right. And hearing his laughter filled you with a warmth you’d been missing.

“Shut up.” You told him, but you were beginning to laugh too. “It’s hard to keep plants alive.”

“(Y/N), succulents are pretty much impossible to kill.”

“Okay, I get it, I didn’t purposely murder my aloe vera plant.”

“Oh, baby.” The pet name slipped so easily from his lips but it caught you both off guard, so the both of you stopped laughing and your postures stiffened.

Briefly, your eyes met but each of you darted your vision elsewhere. However, neither of you made no effort to move away from one another.

“Sorry.” Corpse said softly.

“It’s okay.” And it was, so okay. You wanted to tell him that hearing him call you baby was all you’d been wanting to hear again over these almost fifty-seven days without him. “I should really get this aloe vera gel on me, though.” You really didn’t want to leave him, but you couldn’t stand in this store forever.

“Are you sunburnt all over?” He asked.

“Yeah.” You sighed

And just as instinctively as the pet name had slipped out, his hands started to move towards the sleeve of your jumper. But he stopped himself when you flinched slightly and he quickly realised what he was doing. “Sorry, can I see?”

“I mean, you can, but I don’t want you to do it because it does really fucking hurt. That’s why I jumped, not because I don’t want you to touch me.” You answered him quickly. “I do want you to touch me- wait, I mean, no.” If your face wasn’t already red from the sunburn, it would have become red then from the blush you could feel forming. And if your skin wasn’t in pain you would have facepalmed yourself. “Sorry.” You apologised then.

“It’s okay.”

Shaking your head, you began to gently slide the sleeve of your big hoodie up.

“Fuck, (Y/N).” Corpse cursed, concern filling him as your skin was practically glowing from the burn it had copped. “You can’t do that to yourself.”

“I know.”

“How long were you at the beach?”

“All day pretty much.”

“You’re that burnt all over?”

“Yeah, I mean, some spots are worse. I think my back and shoulders are probably the worst. They hurt the most.”

He moved to step around you then, disappearing out of your sight as he was now standing behind you. “Can I?”

“Yeah, just be careful.”

And he made sure to keep his movements cautious, he decided on looking from the top, his hands grabbing the neck on the back of your hoodie to pull it back ever so gently so he could inspect. His eyes widened in a combination horror, worry and sympathy. He’d seen you get sunburnt before, but never to this extent. “Oh my fucking god.” The contrast between where the strap of your togs sat over your shoulder, blocking a sliver of your skin from the sun to keep it its natural colour versus the red that was brought from the burn was insane. “It looks like someone has painted you.”

“I mean, I guess the sun did. Just in a really painful way.”

“You’re not planning on going to the beach anytime soon, right?” Corpse carefully released your hoodie then and stepped in front of you once more. Distress was so present on his face, despite most of it being covered. He was so worried about you in this moment.

“Definitely not. The only thing I’m planning on is not going outside in any sunlight until my skin is healed.”

“Living like me.”

“Guess so.”

“My aloe vera plant is alive.” He stated.

“Wow, you’re really just going to flex that right now? Trying to kick me while I’m down.” You joked back, assuming he was teasing you.

“No, I mean...” He trailed off, his eyes struggling to stay on yours as he continued. “You could come over and use it, I know you like the real stuff better and I could help do your back, or wherever you can’t reach.” He was nervous, but he really didn’t have to be.

You could feel it happening, your heart beginning to heal.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Do you want to?”

“Yeah.”

#corpse #corpse husband #corpse x reader #corpse husband fanfiction #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband x reader #writing #mine

[drwcn]

maybe after today’s acls training i can finally write that chengqing ER oneshot. 

— “Patient male, mid-twenties, motor vehicle collision, eta 3 mins” 

— “What no vitals? No GCS? ETA 3 mins? Who’s on the paramedic team?!” 

— “No one….Dr. Lu hit someone with her car on her way out of the hospital.” 

【A Midnight Conversation in Your Local ER】- Complete

[1] 

The night hunt had gone to shits.

That much was undeniable.

Jiang Cheng heard the panicked shout of his disciples just as he saw the array that he had stepped on.

Fuck.

The ghost of an once mediocre demonic cultivator wanna-be was going to bring Jiang Cheng, Jiang Wanyin - the Sandu Shengshou - to meet his maker. The irony of the situation would be laughable, if he wasn’t so irrevocably screwed.

That was his last thought before his entire body was engulfed by a blinding light and the world he knew disappeared.

The ground beneath his feet gave away, weightlessness paralyzing his body though he did not fall. He felt…launched, his body warping and squeezing and stretching, the air sucked from his lungs into the endless black vacuum.

But just like that it was over. Jiang Cheng barely had time to make peace with his death before his feet touch solid earth again.

Or at least….he thought it was earth, this black, tarry hard thing striped with yellow and white. He stared at it dumbly, breathless and disoriented, barely able to react when a loud blare assaulted his senses and his world went blindly bright yet again.

This time there was pain.

Jiang Cheng clutched Sandu, ready to fight, but then his head hit the ground and everything went dark. When he woke up again, an indeterminate amount of time later, he was in a small tube and had a distinct feeling he was not wearing pants, socks or shoes.

How the fuck do you ‘scan’ a cat???  

[2]

Method actor. The nurse, from the other side of the curtain, mouthed silently.

“Sir, can you tell me your name.”

“Jiang Cheng, Jiang Wangyin.”

The resident paused, awkwardly contemplating how to continue. “Uh…..which is it? Jiang Cheng or Jiang Wanyin?”

“Jiang Cheng, zi Wanyin.”

“Traditional parents?” The resident tried to crack a joke, but it fell flat. The strange man stared up at him with a blank look in his eyes and a frown that was rapidly deteriorating into a scowl. The resident cleared his throat and cast his eyes back onto his clipboard. “Uh, ahem, just the name on your ID please.”

“My what?" 

"Your personal ID….like a driver’s license?”

“Cultivators of the gentry fly on swords or ride horses. We do not rely on carriage valets.”

“Eh… right. Uhm, can you tell me how old you are and what year it is.”

“I’m 39, and the year is jiachen.”

Lu Qi frowned from where she stood by the door, arms crossed, watching her resident and medical student work. 39? He looks like a college student. But he also thinks he can fly, so I guess age is the least of our worries. 

“Jiachen.…?”

The M3 fished his phone out from his scrub pocket pocket and typed it in. “Sounds like the ganji system, like an old timey way to record year used in the past.” He whispers clandestinely to the resident.

“….Right. And uh, do you where you are?”

The man scowled at him. “Am I supposed to?” 

The resident scribbled something on the chart, and then looked up with a plastered awkward smile. “Well, thank you Mr. Jiang for your patience. Wang Fei here is the medical student on our team. He’s going to stay and ask you a couple more questions if you don’t mind. Afterwards we’ll confer with our attending and the team will be back to see you shortly.”

As he turned away, the R3 grimaced and shared a look with Lu Qi, who was the youngest attending physician in their ER, but was not technically working at the moment and so was not on the case. And technically, as the perpetrator who hit Jiang Cheng with her car, she had a severe conflict of interest.

At least this Jiang Cheng dude didn’t seem keen on pressing personal charges against her for MVA or suing the hospital in general… but that being said…

Yeah, they’re going to need a psych consult. 

Unless he’s on acid. 

Well… okay, psych consult either way. 

[3]

"It’s okay, you can relax.” Jiang Cheng said, waving dismissively at the woman standing by his bedside. “I’m not going to take you to the magistrate for hitting me with your carriage - car. You didn’t mean to, and I just came out of nowhere.” 

“....Thank you.” 

“You’re not Wen Qing. I know that now. Your name is Lu Qi. You can call off those psychia - psych - psychics - head healers - or whatever, I’m not crazy. It’s not my fault, you just… look so much like someone I used to know."

"Wen Qing.” Lu Qi echoed. 

“Yeah. Wen Qing. She was a healer - a doctor - like you, but different.” 

“I see. What happened to her?"

"She died. Almost twenty years ago."

"I'm sorry... that's awful.” Lu Qi’s response rolled off her tongue so well, because she had said those word a thousand times during her residency. So much so that it no longer had much meaning to her. Tonight however, she meant what she said. “Were you two close?"

"No, well…yes, maybe. No we weren’t exactly friends if that’s what you’re asking. She...operated on me. Without my consent or knowledge. Took my brother’s golden core and put it in me and then lied with my brother to my face about it. So no we weren’t “close”, but Wen Qing saved my life - well the purpose of it anyway. Saved me from a life of ordinariness.” 

Lu Qi did allow herself to dwell too much on what the fuck a “golden core” was, because her gut response was almost instantaneous. “That’s shitty of her.”

She clamped down on her tongue. 

God, why did I have to say that? To his face?! He was obviously in love with this Wen Qing person and they were encroaching on some dangerous emotional territories, but Lu Qi swallowed down her caution and plowed on nevertheless. There were things she felt she had to say, and since she’d already hit him with her car, how much worse could this shit get? “What I mean is she shouldn’t have. Not without telling you. Besides...there’s nothing wrong with ordinary.” 

Jiang Cheng chuckled bitterly. “Maybe you’re right. Still...she didn’t deserve to die. What her clan did was not her fault.” 

Now that threw Lu Qi off. Did this guy...kill her? 

Lu Qi half wondered if she stumbled upon a Yakuza-esque member whose psyche finally snapped after years of murder and violence. And yet, he seemed perfectly coherent, no flight of ideas, no tangential thought, no hallucations. Even his delusions seemed...logical. 

I must be the one losing, damnit.  

Jiang Cheng scratched a little at his chest, as if palpating for the “golden core” that he spoke of. "She saved my life, but when she needed help, I couldn't save her. But, if I were to go back… I can't say I'll choose differently. My clan needed me, my clan who was almost cleansed by hers. No, no I wouldn’t choose differently. I don’t regret my choices, but I am sorry. Sorry to her, sorry to my brother. I'll always be sorry that she died, and that I failed her when she needed me." 

Jiang Cheng had no idea why he was telling this stranger any of this, but maybe after twenty years, he was finally ready to address this guilt that he lived with. I mean who else was he supposed to tell? Jin Ling? It was nice, to have that face as an audience, receiving his words of confession. 

"She would forgive you." 

Lu Qi had no idea why she was offering absolution as if she had authority in this matter, but when she said it, the conviction she felt was so real, it was almost as though some external force was acting through her.

Which was ridiculous of course, but... 

"How do you know? You're not her." Jiang Cheng shook his head. “I wouldn’t forgive me.” 

"No, but you said she was a physician. So she should know, more than most, that sometimes there is no choosing who gets to live or die."

Jiang Cheng fell quiet at that, and his gaze grew distant. Lu Qi thought perhaps he was no longer seeing her as she was in front of him - white coat, scrubs, stethoscope -  but someone entirely different. The tension he held in his shoulders slowly eased, and he sighed. In the silence that stretched between them, Lu Qi hoped that this strange man with his strange past could find a sliver of peace. 

[4]

— Did you love her? 

— I thought so, foolishly, but maybe I didn’t. Even if I did, it was not well enough. 

— Do you love her still? 

— No... I don’t know. It’s been too long...but sometimes, late at night when Lotus Pier is quiet, I think I do. 

...

— Are you ashamed of it? 

...

— No. No I’m not. 

[5]

The patient known as Jiang Cheng left AMA, that is, against medical advice. It was the term they used sometimes for people who just up and leave without informing the team. 

Lu Qi had gone out to check on his labs, which came back with bonker numbers (I mean really, a hemoglobin of 455, sodium of 200, and a HCO3 of like...3?), but Jiang Cheng was gone from Bay 6 when she returned. The nurse made the overhead page, a code yellow was called, but four hours later, Lu Qi was ready to admit that she was never going to see this Jiang Cheng ever again. 

Somehow, she was okay with that. She had said what needed to be said.  

Her chief had given her a call on her cell and told her to go home and sleep. The guy didn’t look like he was gonna press charges, let’s count our blessings and move on. But the night had just been too damn strange that Lu Qi was all wired up from it and couldn’t possibly fall asleep. She had handover at 10 anyway. There was a change of clothes and toiletries in her bag. She could always take a shower in the anesthesia staff’s on call room and sleep until then. 

Dr. Sun was the anesthesia staff on-call tonight and was currently stuck in trauma OR. They were buddies since medschool; she’d understand.

Sighing, Lu Qi took a seat on the bench across from the bougie cafe in the lobby of the hospital. At this hour, it was the only one still open in the entire facility. The drinks they sold cost an arm and a leg, but Lu Qi needed the pick-me-up after the night she had. 

As she nursed the last bit of her matcha latte, two bickering voices pulled her attention to the front entrance. 

“Aiyo, A-Liang I already said I’m fine! I don’t need to be here!” 

“Fuck out of here with that bullshit, Chen Zhaoxi. You fell off the fucking roof! If Wu Kun hadn’t called me, you’d have gone on -”

It was him! Lu Qi shot up. It was Jiang Cheng! 

But no...no it wasn’t him. The well-dressed man dragging the second man (dressed in red pajamas) into the hospital was not Jiang Cheng. He had the same face - chiselled, handsome, scowling - but it wasn’t him. For one, his hair was trimmed short and neat, unlike Jiang Cheng who looked like he walked straight out of a BL xianxia tv drama. Secondly, his face was softer, eyes younger, and he couldn’t have been older than Lu Qi herself in her early thirties. 

“I was just trying to get to the litter of kittens trapped -”

“Yes, yes, and it was very heroic and I’m sure it would’ve made Wu Kun very horny, and you morons probably would’ve fucked once he got home had you not made a valiant attempt at breaking your neck -” 

“Excuse me,” the security guard manning the information desk chastised sharply. “It’s 4am. This is a hospital! Lower your voices, sirs.” 

“Sorry.” The men apologized sheepishly. 

Then, A-Liang, Jiang Cheng’s doubleganger asked, “Could you please direct us to the ER? This is my brother, he fell off a roof.” 

Lu Bin had no idea what possessed her to interject. “I can take you there.” 

All eyes fell on her. She walked towards them, heart pounding. 

This can’t be happening, this kind of thing just can’t happen... 

A-Liang’s face broke into a grateful smile. “Thank you, Miss -” Then his gaze trailed to her badge, and he corrected himself, “Dr. Lu. I’m Shen Liang. This is my brother Chen Zhaoxi. I think he fractured...well multiple things, please help him.” 

“Of course, come with me. Let’s get him a wheelchair. If he fractured is leg, he probably shouldn’t be walking.” 

“I didn’t fracture -” 

“You, you shut up.” Shen Liang rolled his eyes. “Don’t listen to him. He can lose three out of four limbs and say ‘ t’s but a flesh wound’.” 

Lu Qi couldn’t help but chuckle as she put an arm under the complaining Chen Zhaoxi and helped him towards the wheelchair. 

Shen Liang’s smile widened. 

[Extra]

“Holy shit, took you long enough!” 

When Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui finally dragged Jiang Cheng to their portal site, Jiang Cheng realized that the transportation talisman had created a channel through realities between what looked like two metal garbage dumpsters in a back alley behind a food establishment marked by giant yellow bunny ears.

Standing guard there, Lan Jingyi and Ouyang Zizhen were each munching on a strange layered bread and holding tall drinks contained in...what was it called again? Right. Styrofoam. 

“What is that?” Jin Ling wrinkled is nose at it. Brat. 

“It’s a Big Mac.” Replied Lan Jingyi as if Jin Ling was stupid. “And this is a milk shake.” 

Jin Ling scowled. “I said the bag of gold I gave you was for emergencies.” 

“Yeah but we were hungry.” Ouyang Zizhen defended. He neglected to tell them that the cashier had refused to accept the gold and instead asked for “cash” or “card”, neither of which they had, so Zizhen used a liiiiil confounding talisman he learned from Wei Wuxian. They did leave more than enough gold though...and that ought to cover the restaurant’s cost for their “burger”lary . Reaching into the brown paper bag he held under one arm, Zizhen pulled out a little box that opened to show pieces of... something. “These are chicken nuggets. They’re delicious! Try one! They’re really good with this sauce....hold on...” 

Lan Sizhui sighed. “We don’t have time for this. The portal will close soon. Let’s get Jiang-zongzhu home and we can sample these exotic food later.” 

The boys agreed. 

Jiang Cheng shook his head and huffed. 

#cql #the untamed #chengqing #wen qing #jiang cheng #a midnight conversation in your local er #cql ficlet #corie fics