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#anyways i'm EMOTIONAL i love him and more than anyone he gave all his hope to men hell he gave his whole LIFE for men
utytimeline · 2 months
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I might make some people mad, but I'm gonna say it, anyway.
So, Ceroba's reason for choosing Chujin over Star was because she wanted someone more mature. At least, that's my understanding. Star was playing cowboy and role-playing with his friends while she wanted to settle down and raise a family.
And... yeah, Star had a lot of growing up to do. And he did almost none of it until Ceroba stopped him from shooting us.
Star's main character flaw is his ego, but it's even worse than just an ego. Half the reason he set up the Wild East was to help everyone else. He wanted to bring in money to help his family when the Swelterstone's effects caused a drought; he wanted monsters to get a taste of what the surface is like so they don't drown in despair; and he wanted to make Ceroba happy after she lost both her husband and her child. All of this on top of feeling like he was a "nobody farmer" that couldn't do anything or help anyone.
So Star's primary character flaw isn't as simple as just having a big ego. His primary character flaw is trying to fix others as a way of fixing himself.
Sometimes this is a good thing, tho. I often think of Star as the "papa" of the Feisty Five. He's the protective one, he's the one teaching them ethics (reminding Mooch that they're not supposed to be bandits, playing dead to teach Clover about the responsibility of potentially hurting someone), he takes care of the town, he's made ALL his own money from this town that he built himself (enough that Mooch wants his inheritance, so it's a sizeable amount), he even gave his posse a designated nap time, gave Ceroba a home (and possibly gave her his bed while he crashes on the couch), sews his own clothes, set up all the rules and regulations... and I could go on, but I think I've made my point. Star is not wholly irresponsible. He's not perfectly responsible- he, and the rest of the posse, have a habit of breaking and losing Blackjack's weapons, they're all loud and rowdy, and they have a tendency to forget to turn off their boulder machines out in the Dunes.
So, yeah, Star does still have some growing up to do. But he's got a good start.
As for... everything that went wrong... That was entirely due to Star's worship of humanity. Star fell in love with westerns and with the justice and overall sense of romance that they portrayed, so much so that he not only tried to make himself into one of his western heroes, but he then extended this worship to the first human to ever set foot in the Dunes- namely, Clover. And because of this, Star completely threw everything that was good about himself out the window. He sees a human an immediately decides "this is my deputy," without even really giving Clover a fair chance to see if they even are deputy material. He forgot the safety glasses, got so worked up he forgot how to pronounce "duel," became extremely temperamental, apparently forgot that Vengeful Virgil was scheduled for the train mission that day, locked up a Royal Guard against her will (arguably committing treason in doing so, I might add), and just generally began running over everyone's words and emotions, including Ceroba's.
So when it came down to the Showdown... Star blamed Clover. Star's not an idiot. He knows good and well it's not Clover's fault. It's Star's fault- or more precisely, it's his worship of humanity that is to blame. But the problem is, he's taken it upon himself to guard the feelings of other monsters, to make them feel hope and joy. And he just screwed up and stole all that from them. So he's conflicted, not willing to admit that he has done the exact opposite of everything he set out to do. And since it's his worship of humans that led him to this point, he decides to blame the human.
Hence, the Showdown.
But he doesn't want to do it. He says himself, "Monsterkind's Hero is a title soaked in blood." He loves humans. And he sees Clover as a friend. He doesn't want to kill them. He's not a killer, and he doesn't want to be one. He doesn't believe in it. Justice is one thing, but... how is it just to kill someone that did nothing wrong?
So. Here's where Ceroba comes in. Telling Star he needs to calm down and go back to who he used to be. And Star points out that she's changed, too. Even Ceroba says, before taking Clover to the Steamworks, that she doesn't know if she has room to tell Star to go back to the Starlo she used to know.
Ceroba, tho, is no different than Star (this is the part that I said might make some people mad). Ceroba worships Chujin just as much as Star worships humans.
Ok, look. Chujin was a great craftsman. He built so much- furniture for Dalv, his and Ceroba's house, the space heater at the Honeydew Resort, many other items in use throughout the Underground, Kanako's toys (even programmed a video game for her), and so much more. So much that even Star respects him for all that he did for everyone.
However, there is also much that indicates that Chujin wasn't the best at his job. His only award is "You Tried at Engineering," and it took 14 tries for him to build a working robot. In Chujin's defense, I will say that it is impressive that he did build a working, sentient robot without the use of a SOUL, which is how Alphys made both Mettaton and Mew Mew; however, if Chujin is really such a genius, why did it take 14 tries to get Axis to work, when it apparently only took 1 try for Guardener?
And then Chujin didn't just stop with robotics, but went on to SOUL research. Two completely different fields. (And before anyone starts commenting on Alphys, I just want to point out, yet again, that both of the robots she built did use SOUL power; so, realistically, Alphys never was a great robotics genius, but rather, everything she did was a part of SOUL research- hence, the reason Asgore hired her as the Royal Scientist). But Chujin decided to press on with his SOUL research, despite there being no indication anywhere that he had ever done any such research before.
Now, I'm not trying to say that Chujin wasn't remarkable or a genius. I'm just pointing out some things that indicate that maybe he wasn't quite the genius that Ceroba wanted to make him out to be. And... Ceroba's reaction to his "You Tried" award. She's proud of him. More pride than what is warranted by such an award.
Ceroba said she met Chujin when he pretty much rescued her after she twisted her ankle, fell into a ditch, and laid there for several hours, unable to move. She also said that she had considered dating Starlo before meeting Chujin. So... hate me for this if you want to, but I feel like she may not have the best judgement when it comes to guys. Now, that's not to say she picked losers or creeps. Both Chujin and Starlo were/are sweethearts that care deeply about everyone around them. But the fact remains that Ceroba left behind the guy that she'd known all her life for a guy she just met, just because he rescued her from a bad situation.
And I'm not even saying she made a bad choice! By all accounts- including Ceroba's, Martlet's, and even Starlo's- Chujin was a good, kind-hearted, hard-working monster, and a wonderful husband and father. But... he wasn't perfect. And I think Ceroba, even though they had to have been married at least 10 years, just always had stars in her eyes where he was concerned. He was her everything. She believed he could do no wrong. She believed it so strongly, she was willing to do... many horrible things.
Ceroba's drive to kill Clover started with her love for Chujin. She wanted to do anything to keep him alive in her own heart. And when their child begged and pleaded for a chance to help, Ceroba agreed, because Kanako woshipped her father, too. Ceroba's misguided belief in her husband guided her to do things she would never have done otherwise.
Thus the reason for her guilt. It's not just guilt over killing her own child. It's also guilt over knowing that it was her own misguided worship of a monster that wasn't as perfect as she thought he was, that this was what led her to kill, and to kill again.
Ceroba worshipped Chujin. Just as Starlo worshipped the ground Clover walked on, Ceroba worshipped the ground Chujin walked on.
So when people point to Ceroba's comment that Starlo didn't grow up... yeah. She's right. Starlo needed to grow up.
But so did Ceroba.
One of the hardest parts of growing up is realizing that the people you worship are just people. They make mistakes, and you, yourself, are mistaken for believing they can do no wrong.
So, anyway. There's as much Staroba (Starfox, I call them) hatred as there is love for the ship. I've seen both sides of the argument: Starlo isn't mature enough; Ceroba is insane. Yeah. You're both right. And that's why they're perfect for each other. They both made the mistake of changing everything they were in an effort to continue worshipping their idols. They both went nuts. They were both driven to kill. This is the inherent danger of idolatry, believing so much in something that isn't real, that you will do anything to make it stay real to you.
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dixons-sunshine · 1 month
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Scooby Snacks with your Whiskey | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader
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*GIF isn't mine*
Summary: One night when you couldn't sleep, you decided to join Daryl in the guard tower and keep him company. During a game of truth or drink, Daryl unknowingly insulted your favourite childhood cartoon, which resulted in playful arguments, accidentally shattered whiskey bottles and confessions.
Genre: Fluff
Era: Prison, post season 3, pre season 4
Warnings: Swearing, alcohol, sexual innuendos but nothing major.
Word count: 3.7k
A/n: This is based off of what Daryl told Beth in s4 episode 12 right before they set the cabin on fire. He was talking about a cartoon about a talking dog, and my mind instantly went to Scooby Doo, and so this fic was born. It's not really good, since I'm still trying to get into the writing momentum, but I hope you enjoy!
Also, my requests are open for any TWD requests if y'all wanna send any!
"Hey. Would you mind some company?"
At the sound of your voice, Daryl turned around. He hummed and nodded for you to come closer, to which you complied. You stood beside him in silence, quietly observing the walkers at the fences. Unbeknownst to you, Daryl was stealing glances at you, his hands fidgeting with his crossbow string.
His heart fluttered at the sight of you, a regular thing that happened whenever he was in your general area. You looked up at him with that smile that always made butterflies fly around in his stomach and your eyes always seemed to sparkle brighter than the stars in the night sky, and although Daryl liked the quiet away from everyone, you were one of his only exceptions.
Daryl loved hearing you talk. He loved listening to you talk about your life before and although he wouldn't admit it, he was always captivated by the bedtime stories you told little Judith. The way you changed your voice to match the emotion of the part you were telling, even though Judith didn't understand anyway and would react the same regardless, was enchanting to him. He would listen to you talk for hours if he could.
And above all, he loved your caring yet badass nature. The way you would take down walkers with a skilled ease, and then in the same breath turn to him and check him for any injuries with a concerned look on your face made him feel drawn to you. You actually cared about him, in a way nobody ever had. Daryl didn't believe that anything was perfect, but you were the closest thing to perfect there was.
It also didn't help that you were absolutely breathtaking to him. From the beautiful colour of your eyes to your perfectly plump lips that he's wanted to kiss on more occasions than one. Daryl couldn't define how he felt about you because he never felt this way about anyone before, but he knew his feelings for you ran deeper than what could be described as platonic. And that fact scared him.
A soft sigh from you snapped Daryl from his thoughts. He looked over at you and noticed that you seemed to be deep in thought, a small frown on your face as you kept your eyes trailed on the ground below.
"Penny for yer thoughts?" Daryl prompted, instantly gaining your attention. Your eyes trailed over to him and his heart skipped a beat at the smile you gave him.
"Just thinking," you responded nonchalantly, shaking your head in dismissal. You pushed away from the railing you were leaning over and turned your body fully to look at Daryl.
Daryl hummed softly, his eyes trailing over you before shifting back to look at the fences. "Ya wanna talk 'bout it?" He questioned.
"It's stupid."
"Ain't stupid if it's botherin' ya," he retorted, turning his body to fully face you as well.
You sighed before shaking your head. "It's just... I'm thinking about my mom. The last thing we did before all of this was fight over something stupid and now..." You trailed off, suddenly feeling awkward under the archer's stare.
"Ya think she didn't make it?" He finished for you, giving you a knowing look.
"I know she didn't make it. She was diagnosed with cancer about two weeks before all of this started, and there aren't exactly doctors around who could've helped her," you responded, awkwardly fidgeting with your fingers.
"'M sorry to hear tha'. This world jus' ain't meant for people with sicknesses like tha'," Daryl said, and mentally kicked himself for saying that. There you were, confiding in him over something serious and that's the best he could come up with? He felt like a perfect fool.
However, instead of being angry at him, you looked at him with a small smile, much to his surprise. "Yeah," you started. "I just hope that she didn't suffer. She was a good woman."
"Were ya close?" Daryl asked, his blue eyes meeting your beautiful ones. He hoped that he wasn't prying, but he wanted to know more about you, the woman who haunted his thoughts 24/7.
You nodded. "We were."
"Ya make a lot of good memories with her?"
You laughed lightly, surprising the archer. "What is this, 20 questions?"
Daryl frowned. "What?"
"20 questions," you repeated, noting that your repetition didn't spark recognition in the archer's eyes. "It's a game you play with your friends at parties, sleepovers, you name it. You all take turns asking each other any questions you want."
"Never heard of it," Daryl said, shrugging his shoulders. He felt awkward under your intense stare, your eyes widened with surprise.
You softly gasped in surprise. Then, an idea struck you. "Wait here."
"It's my shift," he stated matter-of-factly. "Ain't goin' nowhere until dawn."
"Perfect."
With one last look at Daryl, you climbed down from the guard tower, excitedly rushing into the cellblock and into your cell. You bent down in front of your bed and retrieved what you were looking for; a bottle of whiskey you found on a run. With a renewed excitement, you gripped the bottle tightly and headed back up to the guard tower, finding Daryl waiting patiently.
Daryl glanced at the bottle in your hand and looked at you questioningly. "Where'd ya find tha'?" He asked, watching you approach with a slight smile on his face. He could practically see your excitement, the big smile on your face infectious.
"On a run a couple of weeks ago. I've been waiting for the right moment to open it, and the right moment has now presented itself," you said, sitting cross-legged on the floor and motioning for Daryl to do the same.
"How so?" He questioned, following your lead by sitting down on the ground in front of you. He kept his eyes trailed on you, watching your every move.
"Well, I was gonna suggest we play 20 questions, but I don't wanna force you into answering a question you don't want to, so we're gonna play truth or drink instead. We ask questions back and forth, and if we don't wanna answer the question that was asked, we drink. It's as simple as that."
"And I dun' got any say in if I wanna play or not?" Daryl asked, a small, teasing smile on his face. His smile turned into something more genuine when you let out a light laugh.
"Nope!" You laughed, opening the bottle and placing it in between the two of you. "You wanna start?"
Daryl hesitated, pursing his lips. "I dun' know wha' to ask."
"Anything. There are no wrong questions," you reassured him, leaning back on the palm of your hands.
"Alrigh'," he drawled, unsure of himself. "Wha' was yer favourite movie before all of this?"
"There you go," you praised him with a smile, making Daryl duck his head as heat flushed his face. "To be honest, I don't really know. I watched a lot of movies, so I don't think I can narrow it down to one. But I have a couple of favourites. The Breakfast Club and Back to the Future are two of them."
Daryl nodded, absentmindedly chewing on his thumbnail. "Now 's yer turn, righ'?" He questioned.
"Yeah," you confirmed. After a couple of beats of silence, you voiced your question. "Who was your first kiss?"
Daryl shifted awkwardly, embarrassment filling his body. "I honestly dun' remember her name. It was some girl in a dive bar Merle used to drag me to. She was drunk and I was helpin' her to her car when she turned around and kissed me."
"How old were you?" You asked, genuinely interested. Daryl rarely talked about his past, so when he did, you ingrained every piece of what he said into your mind.
"Nah, 's my turn to ask the questions. Wait yer turn," he joked, eliciting a laugh from you.
"Touché, Dixon, touché. Ask away."
Daryl chewed on his bottom lip, a habit you noticed he unknowingly did whenever he was thinking. You found it absolutely endearing, but the more you thought about it, the more you realised that you found most things about the archer endearing. The way he fiddled with his bolts whenever he was bored, the way he flicked his hair out of his face with the shake of his head, his small smile—you could go on a rant about his smile, and you have before. Michonne happened to be the victim who was forced to listen to your lovesick rambling in the car on your way back from the same run you'd gotten the whiskey from.
Begrudgingly snapping yourself out of your thoughts, you patiently waited for Daryl to continue the game. Feeling your stare on him, he asked the first thing that popped to mind, and instantly wished he didn't.
"Who was yer first sex partner?"
A nervous laugh bubbled out of you, heat creeping up your cheeks at a rapid pace. Daryl felt his own face flush, feeling stupid for asking the question.
"Sorry. Ya dun' have to answer tha'," he apologised, his eyes darting to the floor.
"No, it's okay. Like I said, no wrong questions. Besides, if I don't answer, I have to drink," you said, trying to compose yourself. You took a deep breath. Of all the things you thought you'd be doing tonight, you didn't think you'd be discussing who your first intimate partner was with the guy you had feelings for. "My highschool boyfriend, senior year."
Daryl nodded and left it at that. He leaned back on his hands, watching you carefully. He was surprised that you'd actually answered the question, given the personal privacy boundaries he pushed. He silently promised himself that whatever personal question you asked him, he would answer.
"What's the most petty fight you've ever gotten into because of Merle?" you questioned, looking at him expectantly.
Daryl stayed quiet for a few moments, thinking hard about his answer. "It was with this one guy. He was Merle's dealer. He was a small, janky white guy. We were over at his house one day, jus' loungin' around and watchin' TV, some stupid kids show playin'. It was barely noon, we were all wasted and Merle was high. Merle decided to take a piss outta the show, and when he started, he wouldn't let up. He never could when he was high."
Daryl stopped for a moment, collecting his thoughts while your gaze remained fixated on him. You seemed genuinely interested in the story, your eyes sparkling with wonder. Your lips were slightly parted and it took everything in Daryl not to act on his urge to kiss your pretty lips.
"It turns out, the cartoon was the guy's favourite show, and he got hella pissed 'bout it. 'M pretty sure Merle didn't know it was the guy's favourite show. I mean, he never saw the guy except when he needed somethin', but tha' didn't matter. The guy punched Merle in the face, and tha's when I got into the fight. 'M on this guy and 'm punchin' him as hard as I can, but then the guy pulls a gun on me, sticks it righ' against my head and threatens to shoot me."
"Oh, god," you murmured, slightly horrified.
"Yeah," Daryl nodded, seemingly unfazed at your reaction. "Tha's when Merle pulls out his gun and points it at the guy. At this point, everyone's yellin', I'm yellin'... I thought I was gonna die tha' day."
"How'd you get out of it?" You asked, bringing your knees up to rest your head on them.
"I didn't. The guy ended up punchin' me in the gut and I puked on the floor. They both started laughin' at me and everythin' was magically over," Daryl said, shaking his head at the memory. "And to think that happened over some dumbass cartoon about a talkin' dog."
You visibly stiffened, and this caught Daryl's attention. "Wha'? Wha's wrong?"
"Talking dog..." You trailed off, your eyebrows furrowing. "Did the dog happen to be a Great Dane? And his owner was this guy in a green shirt and brown pants with messy hair?"
Daryl pursed his lips, thinking for a moment before nodding. "Yeah. There were other people, too. Two women and a guy with an ascot."
"Scooby Doo," you stated plainly, giving the archer a playful glare.
"Wha'?" He asked, confusion evident on his face.
"Scooby Doo," you repeated, waving your hand nonchalantly. "That's the cartoon you were talking about. The cartoon you called dumb."
"Yeah, 's 'cus it was. Can't believe anybody actually liked tha' crap."
"Daryl Dixon, how dare you?" You laughed, your eyes widened in surprise. "Scooby Doo is a national treasure! He was part of my childhood and now you're insulting him? I don't think we can be friends anymore."
Daryl chuckled at you, rolling his eyes at your theatrics. "From wha' I saw, the dog and his owner were cowards. Runnin' away, screamin', from fake ghosts after how many years of encounterin' them and knowin' tha' ghosts aren't real but they still think they are? It's stupid as shit, and I ain't apologising for thinkin' tha'."
"You're a disgrace!" You laughed, trying to sound angry but miserably failing. "You're telling me that, real or not, if a ghost was chasing you that you wouldn't run away?"
"Tha's righ'," he nodded, before gesturing to the walkers down at the fence. "I dun' run away from tha' shit, so I sure as hell wouldn't be runnin' away from fake ass ghosts."
"I can't believe you," you said, shaking your head in mock disappointment. "This is the worst betrayal ever. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget this. We won't be able to go back to being friends because of this. This is terrible."
"Stop," he laughed quietly, his eyes twinkling with a rare occurrence of merriment. "It ain't tha' deep. I jus' dun' like it."
"Clearly you don't like it because you have bad taste," you retorted playfully.
"Well, I like ya, so do I still have bad taste?"
Silence. It was so silent, you could hear a pin drop. Any trace of the former reverie between the two of you disappeared and was instead replaced with an invisible current of electricity between you. Your breath caught in your throat at the sudden revelation from the man, and your heart sped up in your chest. The logical part of your brain told you that he meant it platonically, that he liked you the way he liked Rick or Glenn, but the optimistic part convinced you that he didn't, that your feelings weren't one-sided. That the archer might like you too.
"Probably," you finally responded, feeling your face ablaze with the heat that spread across it.
"Nah, my taste is immaculate," he replied, looking at you carefully, closely monitoring your reactions. Daryl knew that was a risky response, and he was nervous about your reaction, but he hoped for the best.
You gulped nervously. Daryl's response made your stomach do somersaults and your heart pound at the speed of light.
"Yeah? I still think your taste is shit," you finally managed to respond, your mouth suddenly feeling dry. Sometimes you wondered if Daryl knew what effect he had on you. If he knew how many nights dreams of him plagued your mind.
Daryl's chuckle broke the tension between you, and you felt like you could breathe again.
"Whatever ya say." Daryl took the bottle from the middle and took the first swig since the game started. Your eyes drifted to the trickle of whiskey that spilt from the bottle and trickled down his lips and chin, and you had the sudden urge to lean forward and kiss the spill away.
"You don't like Scooby Doo. That automatically means that you have shitty taste," you retorted, your breathing slightly heavier than before.
You leaned forward to take the bottle from him, but he held it out of your reach. You looked at him in confusion but he simply smirked at you, getting up from his position on the ground to stand tall over you.
"Daryl," you warned, laughing as you got up as well. "It's my whiskey. Give it back."
"Nah, I think Imma hold on to it," he said playfully, holding the bottle above his head. He laughed at you when you jumped to try and grab it from his hands.
"Daryl!" You exclaimed with a laugh, trying everything to retrieve the bottle, but to no avail. "Come on, don't be so mean!"
"Ya said I had terrible taste. Well, I like this whiskey, so tha' means it must be terrible as well, since I like it, so ya probably won't like it," he responded playfully, his eyes alight with mischief.
One final jump to grab it proved to be the wrong move. You accidentally slipped when your feet hit the ground, sending you falling onto Daryl. The archer reacted swiftly, dropping the bottle to to catch you with both hands. The bottle shattered on the ground instantly while you and Daryl toppled onto the floor, the force from your fall catching him off guard. Daryl layed flat on his back with you on top of him, his hands still on your waist from when he tried to steady you before you fell.
You looked into Daryl's ocean coloured eyes and felt your heart speed up. Daryl's eyes darted to your lips for a second before going back to your eyes, but you had caught him. In a sudden burst of confidence, you lowered your face and crashed your lips onto his, catching him off guard for the second time that night.
Daryl stiffened for a moment, surprised at the unexpected action from you, but soon relaxed and slowly kissed you back. He brought one of his hands to the back of your head and drew you closer, his lips slowly moving against yours. His other hand hesitantly trailed from your waist to the small of your back, gently moving over the exposed skin from the ride up of your shirt.
The kiss ended too prematurely for your taste, but oxygen was still a necessity. You slowly pulled back, looking into his eyes with surprise and delight. Daryl looked back at you in adoration.
"Wha' was tha' fer?" He whispered breathlessly, his chest heaving slightly.
"Just because," you replied honestly, still baffled at the fact that you had just kissed Daryl, surprised that you had mustered up the courage to do so in a matter of seconds.
"Well, if ya think tha's gonna prove to me tha' my taste is shit, then yer gonna need to try somethin' different. Tha' didn't work. If anythin', it jus' proved to me tha' my taste is amazin'."
You laughed and shook your head. "You talking about me or Scooby Doo?"
Daryl started sitting up, making you slide down his stomach to sit in his lap. "Definitely ya," he responded, wrapping his arms around you.
"So, you like like me, huh, Dixon?" You teased, linking your arms around his neck.
Daryl hummed and gave you a small smirk. "Mhm," he hummed, giving you a soft peck on the lips. "Wish I'd known tha' talkin' shit 'bout some cartoon dog would make this happen. Woulda done it a lot sooner."
"Don't you ever talk shit about that dog in my presence ever again," you warned with a playful glare, eliciting a chuckle from the archer.
"Jus' to be sure, this means somethin', righ'?" He asked, his tone turning serious. A look of doubt spread across his face. "This wasn't jus' a heat of the moment thing for ya?"
You shook your head, bringing one of your hands to cup his cheek. "Did you mean it? That you like me? And I don't mean in a platonic way."
"I did," he confirmed, leaning into your touch.
"That's good," you said with a small, shy smile. "Because I like you too. Even if you have crappy taste."
Daryl's eyes filled with relief and he let out a small laugh before leaning in to kiss you again. The kiss was brief, but it was sweet and tender. When he pulled away, he brought a hand up to push your hair out of your face.
"Never thought this would happen. I thought ya dun' like me like tha'."
You leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "No more of that. I don't plan on letting you go now that I have you, Daryl Dixon. You're stuck with me."
Daryl rolled his eyes. "Oh, yeah, 'm stuck." With that, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against yours in a feverish kiss. He flipped you over so that you were on your back, making you giggle against his lips.
You were definitely thankful for Scooby Doo and that whiskey bottle right now.
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jlepixie · 8 months
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Can u do a fake hickey  prank with bill or Tom ?
oh my lord! I love that idea, thank you for requesting it. and sorry for the taking so long to post it, it was sitting in my drafts for some time now. I hope you like it.
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╰ ୨ Bill - fake hickey prank ୧ ╯
༶⋆˙⊹。⋆ʚ♡⃛ɞ ✩ ˛˚.
you and Bill loved pranking each other, it made your relationship more lively, and hearing his laugh every time, it was feeling like a blessing, and he could say the same. this time you wanted it to be a little different, you really needed to get back at him for the last prank, and you decided that your silly idea involving make up would be perfect. at first his eyes widened when he saw you just passing by him so relaxed. you were trying to hold into your laugh when you saw him getting closer to you "where were you today?" Bill said with a confused look on his face. you smiled at him "just hung out with Tom, listened some music" his eyes were so big now, he couldn't believe it, his emotions run fast from shock to anger "did something else happened, did he touched you?" fake-surprised, you gasp, “what? no. why would you say that". pointing at your neck Bill said maintaining his anger down "if he gave you that hickey I will deal with him myself" you could see the actual worry in his voice, he was more scared to loose you, especially to his brother, than anything else. you could feel the goosebump so you dropped your acting "oh billy, my sweet love" you got your hands to cup his cheeks and look into his eyes "I'm sorry, it was just a silly prank, Tom didn't did anything to me" you took a small breath "it is just make up, look" you said while wiping clean the fake hickey. Bill's face started relaxing "no wonder it looked like that" he left out a small chuckle " I knew he was bad, but not that bad" you started getting embarrassed and pouting looking away "anyways, if you wanted hickeys that bad, you could just ask me" Bill started getting closer to you and grabbing your waist to close the distance "I could give you lost of them" you didn't mind at all what your silly prank turned into, so you smiled and let him do his job.
╰ ୨ Tom - fake hickey prank ୧ ╯
༶⋆˙⊹。⋆ʚ♡⃛ɞ ✩ ˛˚.
the only word that could describe you right now was stupid. oh but you were so stupid to think that Tom would not know about such a common prank. he saw that you were oblivious to his knowledge so he decided to play along. "I didn't know I bit you that hard last time" he chuckles and points at it "sorry about that, would try to bite into a non visible place" he winked at you. this was when it hit you, he knows, but you still wanted a reaction from him. so acting dumb was the best choice in your opinion "I have no idea what you talking about" he laughs, getting closer to you, Tom takes your face into his hands "you are so cute, but you are not fulling anyone with it" he gets one of his hands off your cheek, searching something in his pocket. Tom gets out his phone and without a warning takes a quick photo of your neck "would this help you remember" you feel the blood getting fast to your face, it was such a bad picture of you, the angle made it look so funny "delete it, right now" you can hear him chuckle "in that case" Tom brushes your neck with his thumb, right where you took time to get almost perfect the hickey "you should clean this up and let me show you how a real hickey looks like" he winks at you, grabbing the back of your neck to make space to get his head down brushing his teeth into your skin.
tags: @dilfverz ( ─ if you want to be tagged in the next post let me know, make sure to say the fandom as well)
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© 2023 jlepixie.  ─  please do not copy,  repost or translate any of my works on other platforms without my permission. 
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nahoney22 · 5 months
Note
Hey I just hopped onto the bad batch fan wagon and I absolutely love ur blog! <3 I was wondering if I could request a little something about tech x reader who lost a limb/arm during battle or on a mission and he makes her a robotic prosthetic and routinely does maintenance or upgrades on it and each visit brings them closer until they realize they love eachother?
Optimisation
Tech X F!Reader
word count: 2.8k
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When you lost your arm,you almost gave up hope. No longer feeling like yourself, you didn’t know what to do. But, when Tech introduces you to a prosthetic, both of your relationships take a turn for the better.
warnings: fluff and slight angst, friends to lovers, mentions of anxious and emotional reader, loss of limb. Reader is a little reluctant at first to having a prosthetic and is standoffish. Talks about feelings. Subtle cutesy glances and touches etc. female reader. Not proofread.
authors note: I’m so sorry for the delay. Lost in my inbox 😭 enjoy. Also notices you said ‘her’ in the request so assumed it was female reader??? Anyway, enjoy! 🤍
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Your mind was swirling in a sea of thoughts. Most churned with memories of the mission that had forever changed you and some thought being nothing at all.
Perched on the edge of a small cliff, your gaze swept over the picturesque landscape, offering a fleeting moment of respite.
The loss of your arm had been an abrupt, harrowing experience, a fragmented blur that you could scarcely piece together. With one arm gone, a pervasive sense of uselessness had crept into your existence. You questioned your relevance in the squad – what purpose did you now have? How could you possibly help anyone?
Suddenly, a voice disrupted the chaotic maelstrom of your thoughts. You didn't turn to face him, but you recognised it was Tech.
"Ah, there you are," he remarked as he approached, standing beside you, his presence felt more than seen.
"Here I am," you mumbled, not particularly interested in conversation. It wasn't that you harbored any ill feelings toward Tech or your comrades for that matter; you were simply weary of being treated like fragile glass. Tech however, in his own characteristic manner, had always been rather direct in his approach.
"I'm here to assess you," he stated matter-of-factly.
Your brows furrowed in mild confusion, and you turned your gaze toward Tech, who was engrossed in his datapad. "...For what?"
"Just an annual routine check," he replied, raising his eyes from the screen. "But, given your recent loss of limb, it's essential to make this assessment more comprehensive."
You heaved a heavy sigh, momentarily glancing away. This was the last thing you felt like dealing with, but deep down, you understood it needed to be done. You pushed yourself to your feet and turned to face Tech, who began to examine you, asking questions about your health and emotional state. Your responses were typically laced with bluntness and sarcasm, which seemed to go over Tech.
Yet, his examination was momentarily halted when he noticed you involuntarily flinch as he approached the space where your arm had once been, now left hauntingly vacant.
Tech observed your flinch and remarked, "You're flinching, yet you have nothing to flinch for."
You responded with a deadpan stare, then shifted your gaze to where your arm used to be, saying with sarcasm, "Oh no, where did that go?" This earned you a disapproving frown from Tech.
"I will note that down as sarcasm," Tech said, inputting data into his device, while you rolled your eyes in response.
"Are we done now?" you inquired, eager to be done with the examination.
Tech nodded, replying, "Yes, for now. I want you to come find me in a few hours. I have an idea." His words held a hint of mystery, leaving you curious. Before you could inquire further, Tech had already turned and left. You couldn't help but feel a twinge of regret for your earlier tone, but you were indeed worn out. Nonetheless, you couldn't help but wonder what he had in store for you.
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As the hours passed, the rest of the squad departed for a supply run, and though Wrecker had offered you the opportunity to join them rather enthusiastically, you weren't quite up to it. Not just yet. But Tech had stayed behind so instead, you decided to explore Tech's request.
"Hey," you called out as you entered the Marauder's cockpit. Tech had his back to you, but he swiveled the pilot chair around to face you. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw what he held in his hands – a prosthetic arm.
"What's that?" you inquired, feeling a surge of nervousness.
"I've created an arm for you," Tech replied in his usual matter-of-fact tone, seemingly unaware of the reluctance evident on your face.
Your stomach twisted uncomfortably, and your palm grew clammy. "Oh, Tech... I'm not sure about this," you admitted, hesitating.
Tech lowered the prosthetic arm and arched an eyebrow at your apprehension. "But you are evidently unhappy about missing an arm, yes? Having a new one should be a suitable replacement."
You were torn. Undoubtedly, you yearned for your arm, but the idea of an artificial one felt invasive. Tech finally picked up on your reluctance, reading the uncertainty in your eyes.
"I suggest you take a seat, and we can discuss this together. It's just a prototype for now. Once we secure more income from Cid, I can enhance it," Tech reassured, adopting a more empathetic tone.
You silently took a seat across from Tech, perched on the edge of the chair as he scooted a bit closer. "I took the liberty of assessing Echo's cybernetic as a base plan," he explained.
"Are you going to give me a scomp link too?" you questioned, your voice tinged with uncertainty.
"That is a choice that is up to you," Tech replied, very gently rolling up your sleeve to assess the area. "Would you like one, similar to Echo's?"
"Is it bad if I say no?" you muttered, apprehension evident. Tech glanced up at you briefly and then shook his head. "Like I said, it is primarily your choice."
With efficient precision, Tech attached the prosthetic arm. You couldn't bring yourself to look at it. "Inform me on how it feels," he requested.
You remained in silence, feeling the weight of this sudden change press upon you. The experience felt unnatural, and you weren't prepared for the emotional shift it brought. Tears welled up in your eyes, and your throat tightened.
"You need to speak for me to—" he began to say, but then stopped as he saw a single tear slowly roll down your cheek. "Is it hurting? Uncomfortable?" He asked, panicking slightly.
You sniffled and confessed, "No, I... I don't know. I don't know how to feel, how it should feel."
Tech clicked his tongue as the realisation dawned that he might not fully comprehend your emotional state. He considered what Hunter might do in this situation and then carefully reached out, placing a somewhat awkward yet comforting hand on your knee. "If it's too much, we can revisit this another day. I should have been more transparent during the assessment earlier."
Wiping away a tear, you looked at his hand on your knee and then up at him, a mix of gratitude and regret in your eyes. "I'm sorry. You put in so much effort—"
"This was actually relatively straightforward," Tech assured with a hint of fondness, acknowledging his own exceptional skills. "But after twenty-two rotations of you missing your arm, I should have waited a bit longer or offered you this solution earlier."
This time, you managed a smile and watched as he carefully removed the prosthetic. As he packed it away in its case, you said nothing more. However, when you stood to leave, you hesitated and turned back to him.
"Tech?"
"Yes?" he responded.
"Can we try again? Maybe tomorrow?"
He turned to you and offered a faint, reassuring smile. "Of course. Come and find me whenever you are ready.”
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Late in the evening, much later than anticipated, the following day, you mustered up the courage to face Tech. Wearing a sheepish smile, you found him alone in the cockpit. "I must say I wasn't expecting you to show up today," he greeted you as you took a seat across from him.
"I have to admit, I wasn't sure if I was going to show up either," you confessed. "I had to psyche myself up."
"Very well, let's get to it," Tech replied, reaching for the prosthetic arm that he had tucked away under a control panel. You quietly observed that he had been clearly tinkering with it today as it looked slightly different from the last time you saw it – this time it had a hand.
"May I?" Tech gestured to your sleeve, and with a nod, he rolled it up. You glanced away as he manually attached the prosthetic, still not fully comfortable with looking at the stump that remained. It was a bit fidgety this time, but you felt no pain.
"Now, how does it feel?" Tech repeated the question from yesterday. Slowly, you turned your attention to the new addition to your body.
"I don't know," you admitted.
He raised an eyebrow. "Can you enlighten me about the weight? Is there a perfect counterbalance, or...?"
You attempted to move the arm, but it was just a small, feeble motion. Deep in concentration, you struggled to get your brain to sync with your new limb. This time, Tech noticed your disappointment. "A simple alteration will do the trick, I assure you."
"Don't worry, I trust you," you reassured him softly, causing Tech to pause at your words.
"You do?" he asked, sounding somewhat surprised as he turned his attention to you.
You nodded, your sincerity apparent. "Well, yeah? Of course, I do. I'm... I'm very grateful for you doing this. You didn't have to."
A warm smile graced Tech's face as he fidgeted slightly with his tools. "No, but I wanted to. You've done a lot for us since you joined our squad. It's only fair that I give you something in return." He leaned in to assess the arm once more, ensuring the measurements were precise.
As Tech's deft fingers worked on your new arm, you couldn't help but feel something different. The proximity was unusual yet not unwelcome, and you found yourself intrigued. Has he always been this handsome? Breaking the silence that had fallen between you, you asked, "Have you always been good at this kind of stuff, or do you have expertise in other areas?"
Tech replied quietly, "I've always been good at everything. But statistics and data have always been what I've excelled in the most. This isn't second nature to me, so don't worry. You're in good hands."
"I can tell," you responded softly. This time, he looked at you, and the proximity between your faces caught both of you off guard. His eyes searched yours as he tried to decipher your thoughts and feelings, while he felt a strange fluttering feeling in his chest, “you've always been good to me.”
He gulped but he held your gaze a moment longer before turning his attention back to his work. Tech cleared his throat once more and tried to refocus on the work at hand, yet the distraction had left its mark. "I see that some of the measurements are a little off, so I will have to a-alter it again," he explained, sitting up and looking at you. The subtle stutter in his words caught your attention, and you found it surprisingly endearing.
You nodded in agreement, your heart racing a bit faster than you'd anticipated. "That's fine."
As the prosthetic was removed, you stood up, and to your surprise, so did Tech. The closeness was undeniable, and your breath hitched as you looked up at his tall, slender frame. Was he always this ridiculously handsome? Was it merely a fleeting feeling because of his help with the new arm, or had there been something underlying all along?
You intended to thank him, but in that moment, you caught him looking at your lips. Or so, you thought you did. Was the lights playing tricks on you or were you that delusional? But as the awkwardness lingered, Tech quickly realised his gaze had strayed and cleared his throat. "Same time tomorrow?" he suggested, avoiding direct eye contact.
You took a step back, creating some much-needed space between you, and nodded. "Uh, y-yes, sure." Your own stutter surprised you, and to avoid any further awkwardness, you retreated to your bunk. What on Kamino was happening?
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Tech had worked miracles in just a few days, tirelessly devoting every waking moment to helping you adjust to your new prosthetic. And today was no exception as he had you practicing with various types of equipment.
"Tech, I think I've got the hang of it. I don't need to hold a holopad every five minutes," you protested.
"Repetition leads to full optimisation. So, do as you're told," he instructed, his gaze fixed intently on you through the rings of his goggles.
"Yes, sir," you replied, playfully rolling your eyes. You both avoided addressing what had happened the other day when you caught him gazing at your lips. Nevertheless, your attraction to him had grown, and he had become more than just a friend in your heart.
Spending so much time together, you had picked up on each other's quirks, likes, and dislikes. You had a genuine camaraderie, and you both had fun in each other's company. Tech made you feel normal, and it wasn't just the feeling of a comrade giving you an arm; it was the warmth of a friend, and perhaps something more, offering you some hope and happiness.
"What are you thinking about?" Tech asked, interrupting your reverie.
"Honestly?" you asked, your new prosthetic arm flexing up and down as your fingers tapped absently at a datapad, giving you an air of importance. "You."
Tech had picked up some tools as he continued to monitor your progress with the prosthetic. He was working on other projects simultaneously, but your words caught him off guard, and he stumbled slightly, dropping the tools to the floor. "Oh, well, is that a recurring thought… or something new?" he asked, his response laced with awkwardness as he fixed his clumsiness and pushed his goggles up his nose.
You shrugged, your nonchalance masking the true depth of your feelings. "I guess it's new... I'm just enjoying your company." Your heart pounded with a meaning that transcended the words. "And I don't know where to start on how to repay you for the arm."
"Nothing to repay," Tech replied sincerely, his voice a touch shy. He added, "I suppose,” he pauses for a second, hesitant for the first time in a long time, but goes ahead, “being in your company is enough for me, too."
Much like the other day, and sometimes throughout the days in between him fixing your arm, you both find yourself looking at each other. Really looking. Your eyes meet and it’s as if words were slowly being exchanged over, expressing how both of you were feeling in that moment.
However, Tech grappled with his feelings, unsure how to express them. He wasn't well-versed in emotions, and these thoughts about you were entirely new to him. He questioned if these inclinations were normal, the desire to kiss you, and the mere notion felt alien because he had never encountered such thoughts before. His brain was designed for well, anything but this. Not for pondering if a girl liked him.
"Have you ever felt scared before?" The question caught Tech off guard, making him think deeply.
"Yes, yes, I have actually," he admitted, surprising you. You raised a curious eyebrow.
"Mind telling me?" you asked gently, watching as his knee began to bounce restlessly.
He shifted his position and turned slightly away from you, an uncharacteristic shyness creeping over him. "It was quite recent. To be more precise, it was the mission in which you lost your arm."
You whispered a soft "oh" in response, feeling a mix of emotions as he continued to speak.
"You've always been a strong presence in this squad. Although you might not be as intelligent as I am, you're smart. You're well-trained in combat, you're good to Omega, and you're good to all of us," he explained, focusing on a small task in his hands rather than looking at you. "I feared that with you losing your arm, you would feel at a disadvantage. I suppose I was scared of you losing yourself. That's why I created the arm."
Tech's confession left you somewhat speechless, and his avoidance of eye contact spoke volumes. "You really care about me?" you asked, seeking confirmation.
He stilled, and you could see him swallow hard. "I do. Though, I feel that I care about you more than just a comrade. More than a friend." His words were careful, yet they carried a depth of meaning that you understood. He loved you, and you felt the same way.
With tenderness, you leaned closer, your new arm raising to gently turn his head to face you. There was a small gasp at the touch, but as he looked at you, his gaze focused once more on your lips.
You closed the gap, your lips pressing softly against his in a tender kiss. It was brief, but as you pulled back, Tech surprised you by dropping his tools to the floor once more and cupping your cheeks with both hands, bringing your lips back to his.
In the tender embrace of your kiss, your fingers lightly trailed along the contours of Tech's cheek, eliciting a soft sigh from him. His hands cradled your face, his thumbs tenderly stroking your cheeks as he whispered softly between your lips, "I believe that I… love you."
The warmth of his breath against your skin sent shivers down your spine as your kiss deepened. Your arms found their way around his shoulders as he used one arm to pull you across and into his lap, his fingers tracing the curve of your jaw with a gentle caress. "I believe that I love you too.”
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Masterlist
More Tech Works
Tags and those who I think may like : @andyoufollowyourheart @littlefeatherr @kaitou2417 @eyecandyeoz z @captxin-rex @jesseeka @ashotofspotchka @theroguesully @ladykatakuri @jambolska-grozdova @arctrooper69 @padawancat97 @rain-on-kamino @either-madness-or-brilliance @staycalmandhugaclone @ko-neko-san @echos-girlfriend @fiveshelmet @dangraccoon @plushymiku-blog @chrissywakingup @kixs-husband @pb-jellybeans @nunanuggets @sleepycreativewriter @erellenora @zippingstars87 @tech-aficionado @grizabellasolo @therealnekomari @tech-depression-inventory @brynhildrmimi @greaser-wolf @tinyreadersmur @seriowan @kaminocasey @marvel-starwars-nerd @ladytano420 @ladyzirkonia @raevulsix @imalovernotahater @id-rather-be-a-druid @the-bad-batch-baroness @zoeykallus
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skz317cb97 · 11 months
Text
Why Does it Hurt
Lee Felix x Female reader
Word count: 6.7k (it's like 5.7k of ouch)
Synopsis: When your soulmate Felix can feel everything you feel he wonders, why does it always hurt?
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A/N: 18+ ONLY! A bunch of you said you wanted this one to hurt so.... here you go! 😅 I'm loving the polls and everything with this and slowly announcing who's what soul link, so fun! Anyway! If you like this one give it a reblog, like, comment, hit up my asks! I always love hearing from you guys! As always warnings and smut below the cut!
Warnings: 18+ONLY MDNI! Cursing/strong language, elements of abuse, violence, imprisonment, death threats, attempted murder(strangulation), mentions of panic attacks, if any of these things can be triggering please skip this one. Oral (m&f receiving), unprotected piv sex (use condoms please), MC's first time, cum shot. I think that's it it's pretty vanilla as far as smut goes. If i missed anything please let me know and I'll add it, I would feel awful if someone read something that upset them. So if you see something I'll add it asap!
Just like most everyone else on the planet, when Felix turned eighteen, he went to a specialist and found out what his soul link was. It was different for everybody. For some it was a mark or a name, others it was a shared talent or eye color maybe. For Felix it was feelings. Mostly emotions, occasionally he would feel physical feelings and it seemed to vary in intensity depending how far he was from you.  
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Felix had no idea who you were, no one did really. You had been locked up, a prisoner in your grandfather's house since your parents passed. He was not pleased when he had to take in his orphaned granddaughter so his displeasure was taken out on you with verbal and often physical attacks. Felix felt the desperation and overwhelming sadness that encompassed your life and would fall into long bouts of depression. His family and friends worried about him but there was nothing anyone could do. There was no way for anyone to know who you were or how to find you. It went on like that, days, months, years. Felix learned to deal with the pain but it was never ending. Why did it always hurt? 
Felix’s twenty-first birthday was coming up; he was excited to hang out and relax. His friend Chan had rented an air b&b in a quiet neighborhood close to the beach and invited their six other best friends. All of them planned to surf, swim and relax for the next five days, bonfires, drinks, and plenty of good food with good friends, Felix was ready. The day the guys pulled up to the air b&b Felix was feeling your emotions more intensely than he ever had.  
He tried to just focus on all the fun they were about to have and push that sadness down for now, process it later, right now just... live. When Felix grabbed his bag out of the back hatch his heart started fluttering then racing. It wasn’t his heart though it was yours. God it was intense you had to be close, you must live in one of these houses by the beach. He hoped to meet you while he was there if you did. When Felix turned to walk towards the house he happened to glance over at the neighbors and saw a girl that looked to be around their age peeking out at him and the guys from an attic window. He gave a small smile and waved. When you realized Felix could see you, your eyes went wide and you ducked out of the window. Chan was walking by just then too. 
“Did you see that?” Chan raised his eyebrows and shook his head no. 
“See what?” Felix pointed over to the house. 
“The girl that was in that top window.”  
“We just got here Lix, you’re seeing girls already?” Chan laughed and Felix rolled his eyes giving him a mocking half hearted chuckle.  
“Har har har. You’re so funny dad.” Chan feigned offense 
“I’m not that old!” Felix shrugged laughing and carried his stuff inside. Maybe you were shy, Felix thought. He decided when he saw you outside, he’d try to say hi so that you knew him and the other guys were friendly. Maybe you’d want to come over for a bonfire. He’d say hello and he’d invite you, just as soon as he saw you outside. That night the guys decided to take it easy and just have a gaming night. Felix was watching the match Changbin and Jisung were playing when he felt part of his face start to sting, as if someone had slapped him, hard. 
“Ow fuck!” His swearing caught Chan’s attention. 
“What’s wrong? You okay?” He felt it again, pins and needles on the other side of his face now. 
“Ah fuck my face hurts!” Seungmin laughed not realizing what was going on. 
“Imagine how we feel having to look at it all the time.” A few of the guys laughed and focused back on the game while Chan made sure Felix was okay. Felix felt a pain in his leg, his backside and then his back and then it all seemed to stop. Tears welled up in Felix’s eyes and Chan was worried. 
“Are you okay Lix what’s wrong? Does it still hurt?” A tear rolled down his cheek. 
“It always hurts. Why does it always hurt?! She doesn’t ever feel joy or love, it’s always pain, it’s always suffering. She’s the love of my life and I can’t help her.” Chan had never seen Felix so worked up and they had been friends since elementary school. Felix had never felt it all so strongly. Tears were streaking his face and he was sniffling. The other guys stopped playing the game and huddled around him to comfort him. Felix had a big heart, anyone that knew him knew that. So for the person that he was meant to love for the rest of his life to be in pain and suffering constantly, it chipped away at Felix’s heart. Once everything was calm again Felix wiped his face with his long sleeve and the guys got back to their game. 
“I’m gonna get a little air Channie hyung. I’ll just be out back.” Chan nodded. Felix got up and made his way towards the back door. He stood out on the porch breathing in the cool ocean air, looking up at the clear night sky, hundreds and thousands more stars than you could see in the city. He glanced over at the attic window he’d seen you in earlier that day and saw a candle flickering from inside and then noticed your head poked up, peeking out at him. You quickly ducked away and then the candlelight went out. Shortly after, Felix rejoined the others inside. 
Earlier in the day while you sat in your prison cell that was the attic, you had heard a little commotion outside, then you heard a couple of men’s voices. You weren’t supposed to go near the windows, you knew that, but you were curious, it was usually pretty quiet there, which is exactly why your grandfather liked it. Against your better judgement you walked over to the window and looked over at the house next door. When you did you saw eight men, probably around your age, maybe a little older, carrying things into the house. There was one in particular that pulled at you like a magnet. He was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen, not that you’d seen many beautiful things in your life. Your heart fluttered then started pounding. Then as if he knew you were there, he stopped and looked right up at you, it surprised you and you froze. The softest, warmest smile spread on his face and he waved at you. You quickly backed away from the window but the damage was done. Your grandfather had his cameras set up all over that house, inside and out. There was no way he would miss the innocent little wave that man next door had given you.  
Later that night when your grandfather came home from work you knew you were in for it. You could hear him coming up the stairs. Big boots clunking as he stomped up each one. When he walked in you immediately started to apologize hoping that it might spare you a little pain. It did not, your grandfather didn’t say a thing he back handed you across the face, he slapped you a few more times before you fell down on your flat sleeping mat crying.  
“You’re going to learn one of these days what happens if you don’t follow my rules.” He pulled off his belt and started slapping you with it hard, wherever it landed, your legs, your ass, your back. He threw it at you out of breath. 
“Next time I’ll hang you with it do you understand?” You cowered and nodded that you did. He picked up his belt and stomped back out. You laid there crying in the candlelight, the only light you were permitted to have. You knew it was best to just fall asleep as quickly as possible. He wouldn’t be bringing you food tonight, not when he beat you, never after you had been punished. You heard someone walk outside next door. You crawled over, the burning welts the belt left still intense and painful. You just peeked over your windowsill this time and you saw him again, the pretty blonde man with freckles and the smile of an angel. He looked over, it was like he could tell when you were looking at him. You quickly crawled back away before he waved or anything that might upset your grandfather again. You curled back up on your mat and blew out your candle. You closed your eyes and hoped to dream of a life where you and the cute, freckled guy next door might meet and fall in love.  
The next day the guys all went dashing out of the back door of the house and out onto the beach whooping and hollering. They were ready for a little sand and surfing. Felix again couldn’t help but look up at the neighbor's attic window to see if he could see you again, he paused a moment before he dashed off with his board under his arm to catch up with his friends. You had seen him looking. You were smart enough to stand back from the window this time. You could see him but he couldn’t see you, or so you thought. Felix actually did see you but he didn’t want to frighten you away again. So he ran and caught up with the guys as his heart raced. You watched as the sweet blonde boy caught wave after wave with his friends, wishing you could be out there too. Laying in the sand, splashing the water at friends. Even though you were raised in that house most of your life, if you could even call it raising, the last time you had been at the beach was before your parents had died.  
You were only six when you and your parents were in a horrible car crash. Somehow you had survived with bumps and bruises while the wreck killed both of your parents almost instantly. Then you were sent to live with your grandfather, the only family you had left in the world, who locked you in the attic and told everyone else that you had died in the same crash as your parents. He would feed you once a day twice if you were lucky and only let you out once a day to go to the bathroom and shower. There were rules as well and if you didn’t follow them there was hell to pay. No leaving the attic, no making any noise, no going near the windows, only speak when told to and a slew of others. Sometime around your eighteenth birthday every now and then you’d feel a little light inside your heart. Your grandfather did all he could to extinguish it and he did a very good job of it. Eventually you couldn’t feel the light inside anymore but something about the tanned freckled guy next door made that light shine a bit again. 
Since you were hidden from the world you had never been told about soulmates or what your soul link was, so you didn’t know that little light in your heart was Felix. You didn’t know that anytime your sadness felt overwhelming he’d think of all the happy wonderful things about life, things that he loved and just hoped you could feel it as he pushed all those good feelings towards you. No matter how much he put into it, his whole heart usually, it only came through as the little light. 
The next day the guys all piled into the car and left for a local spot to have lunch. When they got back the old neighbor lady on the other side of their air b&b was out gardening. When she saw the eight handsome men pile out of the car she smiled and stood up to greet them, wiping dirt off her hands on her apron. After introductions and a little small talk the old lady mentioned something about the other surrounding neighbors being nice as well and then Felix remembered the girl in the window, he had seen you a couple of times now and he was curious about you. 
“Oh yea! Speaking of neighbors, what’s the name of the girl next door on the other side of us? Around our age? I was gonna invite her over to a bon fire but she seems kind of shy and I haven’t seen her outside...” The old neighbor lady looked at Felix like he was stupid.  
“Old Herb’s place? Ain’t no girl living in that house. Only girl it coulda been woulda been his granddaughter y/n, she’d be around you boys age now, but she died in a car wreck with her folks quite a way back.” Felix nodded. 
“My mistake.” Felix and the guys excused themselves and went on about their goal for the rest of the day, more surfing. Felix was confused. He was positive he’d seen a young woman in that house, he had waved at you. He didn’t just imagine that. Every time they went to the beach now Felix glanced up at the window. Every time he did his heart started to beat out of his chest. Every day that passed you knew was a day closer to the man with the freckles and his friends leaving and every day you felt like it was a day closer to the end for you.  
You don’t know what came over you. You rummaged through some boxes your grandfather stored up in the attic with you, another rule, no touching his things. You had to do it. You went through and managed to find a piece of chalk and a chunk of some old map or something. You didn’t care, you had to do it. Your handwriting was atrocious and your spelling awful but you wrote a short message and then folded and tossed it into the neighbor's yard praying your grandfather didn’t catch it on the cameras. You had to do it, if not now, then you never would and how long would your grandfather really be willing to keep you? It had been fifteen years. The beatings were getting worse and the death threats came more often it was only a matter of time before he really killed you. You had to do it. 
Felix and Changbin were playing frisbee in the back yard while some of the other guys played video games. It was the last day there; they would be leaving tomorrow afternoon. Felix had looked up at your attic window countless times, he didn’t know why. You weren’t ever there anymore and he started to wonder if he had just dreamed you up. Changbin put a little too much wrist into his toss and the frisbee sailed over the house to the side yard. 
“I got it!” Felix ran around the side of the house and grabbed the plastic disc. He was just about to turn and run back when he noticed what looked like a piece of trash on the ground. When he picked it up he realized it was folded. He opened the tattered piece of paper and saw what looked like a note scribbled by a child. It was hard to read, pryzner atick. He ran back around the house and showed Changbin. 
“What does this say?” Changbin looked at it. 
“I dunno man it’s just some kid’s scribbles it doesn’t say anything.” Felix shook his head, he’d found it under your window. 
“No this says something.” Changbin shrugged and Felix ran off to ask Chan what he thought. Chan was looking over the scrap of paper when everyone heard your grandfather's truck fly up and skid to a stop in the gravel driveway. He’d seen you toss the note. You were absolutely terrified and Felix could feel every bit of it. 
“Oh my god!” Felix finally put it together. He was an idiot for not realizing sooner. Chan was waiting as Felix processed. 
“What? What’s wrong?!” Felix looked at Chan with tears in his eyes. 
“She’s terrified. He’s gonna kill her.” Chan was confused. 
“Who?!”  
“The girl next door!” Now Chan was even more confused. The old lady had said there was no girl. 
“How do you know?!” Felix gripped Chan’s shoulders tightly. 
“Because she’s my fucking soulmate!” Felix ran out of the house and Chan and a few of the other guys ran after him trying to stop him. Your grandfather had seen you toss the note and he was going to do exactly what he told you he would if you stepped out of line again. You could hear his heavy boots as he skipped steps on his way up to the attic, the sound of his belt already being removed. You cowered in a corner. You had to do it. Your grandfather kicked the attic door in and you screamed. 
“You shut your fucking mouth! You did this! You brought this down on yourself!” He picked you up easily, of course he did, you were malnourished and weak from never getting any sun or exercise. You tried to fight him but it was like a twig hitting an oak, it did nothing. He wrapped his belt around your neck and slid it back into the buckle pulling it tight around your neck, cutting off your air. He held you out in front of him and you grasped at the belt trying to loosen it but couldn’t, your own weight was drawing it tighter around your throat. You could see the vignette of darkness starting to cloud your vision, you knew death was coming. You weren’t scared anymore, you were relieved. Maybe you would finally get some peace. 
Felix burst into the neighbor’s house and started looking for stairs as Chan rushed in after him, telling the other’s to stay behind. Felix rushed around a corner and there they were. He started dashing up them, Chan tried to keep up but Felix was too fast. He was right on his heels when Felix finally made it up the stairs to the attic. The door was kicked off the hinges. Felix ran in, Chan right after him and both saw your grandfather strangling you with a belt. 
“Hey! Put her the fuck down NOW!” Your grandfather spun around surprised to find two of the young men from next door standing there. He dropped you and you started gasping for air. Your grandfather may have been strong enough to overpower you but up against two fit men, in their twenties, with six more a call away, he knew he couldn’t take them. Instead, he ran between them and fled. Chan called 911 as your grandfather jumped into his truck and sped off again. The other guys had no idea what was going on so none of them attempted to stop him.  
“Hey man! Where’s our friends!?” He peeled away kicking up rocks. Felix ran over to you and gently lifted your head and took the belt off from around your neck. You were weak, still gasping for air, struggling to breathe. Felix was terrified he was too late, he checked your pulse on your wrist, avoiding touching your neck, and it was faint. He started talking to you. Trying to keep you awake. 
“Hey hey, uhm, I’m Felix, and uhm...” He tried to fight back his tears. 
“I’m gonna take care of you alright? You’re gonna be okay... okay?” Felix nodded as he failed to keep his tears from falling. They streaked his freckled cheeks and you wished you were strong enough to wipe them away. You could hear the sirens approaching but you were so tired. You just wanted to rest your eyes. 
“Hey hey HEY! STAY AWAKE! DON’T GO TO SLEEP! PLEASE!” You wanted to listen but you just couldn’t. You closed your eyes and everything was dark, quiet, peaceful. 
You woke up in a bright white room. It smelled clean, completely different than the musty attic you’d lived in for so long. You squinted and tried to focus your vision, but it was difficult between the pain in your head and the bright lights. You finally managed to open your eyes and the first thing you did was try to scan the room. You tried to move your head but couldn’t and winced in pain sucking air in through your teeth. The sound woke up whoever was in the room with you. A tired, deep, grumbly man’s voice came from your right. 
“y/n?” He walked to where you could see him and you realized it was the freckled man from next door. 
“Wha-whe-” Your voice barely came out. It was horse and hurt to talk. 
“Don’t try to talk yet. Everything is okay now. I’m gonna get a nurse and let them know you’re awake. I’ll be right back.” Felix ran out of the room excited to see your beautiful eyes open again, he’d been so afraid he never would. When Felix walked back in so did a nurse and a doctor.  They asked you some yes and no questions and you would point at your answer on a clip board. After they left you motioned to Felix asking what happened, you only remembered your grandfather coming into your room and then everything was black. Felix pulled his chair up by you. 
“After I found the note you tossed out the window and your grandpa came home I realized what it said. Prisoner attic.” Felix didn’t say anything about soulmates right then, there would be plenty of time for that later and he didn’t want to confuse you. 
“When me and my friend ran into the attic we found him...” Felix hesitated, it was a hard memory for him surely it would be for you too but when he looked at you, you mimed choking and Felix nodded. 
“Yea we found him strangling you. He dropped you and ran off but it didn’t take police long to find him. He’s in jail, there’s still a trial but he’ll be there for the rest of his life no doubt in my mind.” You tried to nod forgetting that you had a neck brace on and winced a little. Felix instinctively grabbed your hand and you gently squeezed it. You took your other hand and pointed at him. You mouthed the word name. 
“Oh! Yea, sorry. I’m Felix.” It wasn’t a very conventional way to meet your soulmate but that was the first day of forever for the two of you. After a few days the neck brace came off, a couple of weeks and your larynx was healed enough to start talking. You were severally malnourished, hadn’t had direct sunlight in fifteen years, didn’t move anymore than you could around the attic. There was a lot healthwise that needed addressed a number were things you’d probably deal with for the rest of your life. Felix was with you every step of the way. After you started getting better he explained the whole soulmate thing. You’d never even known soulmates were a thing. Then you remembered that little light that would shine in your heart and you knew then that it had always been Felix in your heart. 
Once your health issues had all been addressed and stabilized and the doctors deemed you strong enough to leave the hospital you weren’t sure what was next. You were twenty-one, pretty much illiterate, you knew nothing about the world or how to survive in it. You stood on the sidewalk thinking of all the challenges still to come when Felix pulled up in his car. He got out and opened your door. You slid into the passenger seat and then Felix ran around getting back in the driver’s seat. He looked at you and gave you his megawatt smile. 
“Let’s go home.” Home. You didn’t know what that was. The place that you had lived for practically your whole life was only a prison. You would never call it home. Home was Felix. Wherever he was that was home. The day you were released from the hospital was the day that you started living with Felix. He was insistent on taking things slowly. 
“We have our whole lives, so let’s crawl before we run, okay?” You nodded and were secretly thankful he was so patient and willing to move slowly, you knew absolutely nothing about each other and you knew nothing about being in any kind of relationship let alone a romantic one. Felix helped you with everything. You would have panic attacks from what you went through but also from the thought of how endlessly massive the world was outside of that attic. Felix taught you pressure points and tricks to ground yourself when you felt out of control. He enrolled you into some night courses so you could learn to read and write and helped you with flash cards and studying. From there you started taking math classes, history, and so on. Before long you were taking high school level classes and by the time you were twenty-three you had earned your GED all with Felix by your side cheering you on. He didn’t want you to be dependent on him in the world, he wanted you to feel independent, like you could do it on your own if you had to. You never would, Felix would always be there for you but he felt like it was important for you to be able to do things on your own. Felix was insanely proud of you and couldn’t believe how strong you were.  
When you had moved into his place he insisted on you staying in a room of your own. You had never had a room of your own. Some nights it was hard to sleep on the soft bed and you’d curl up with your blanket on the floor. Mornings Felix found you like that broke his heart. He’d let you sleep in those days because it usually meant you hadn’t gotten much rest. You had lived with Felix for almost two years when you got your GED. In that time you guys had taken baby steps in your relationship. The first time you and Felix kissed it was because you kissed him. You could tell that he wanted to kiss you and you really wanted to kiss him so you leaned over on the couch while you watched tv together and pressed your lips against his. He’d been surprised at first but then kissed you back. You both had butterflies. 
Felix walked into the apartment the two of you shared together now. He found you in the kitchen washing up some dishes. He walked over and kissed your cheek and you leaned into it, into his warmth. 
“Sorry I’m so late.” You shook your head. It didn’t matter, all that mattered was he was home. He was home, your home. You turned and kissed him on the lips nibbling his bottom one, making him laugh. 
“What’s gotten into you? Hmm?” You just shook your head and pecked his lips once more. 
“Okay, whatever you say. I’m gonna shower, need the bathroom before?” You shook your head no. 
“No Lixie, go enjoy your shower.” He cupped your cheek and you closed your eyes. The warmth was like how it felt when the sun warmed your cheeks on a spring day. When you opened your eyes again you found his endless brown eyes memorizing the flecks of colors in yours. He cupped your other cheek, leaned in and kissed you then pulled a breath away. 
“I love you y/n.” Your eyes shot open. Neither of you had ever said the L word. You were certain that you felt it, at least you thought you did. When Felix said it though you knew, without a doubt that you loved him too. He saved you, took you in. Felix had done far more for you in two years than your grandfather ever did in fifteen. You could never repay him and he would never expect you to. 
“I love you too Felix.” He smiled and bit his lip. 
“Okay, shower.” You nodded smiling too and he ran off to take his shower. When Felix got out of the shower he wrapped his towel around himself and went to his room. He was surprised to find you sitting in there on his bed in your robe. 
“Oh! Hey, uh... do you need something?” You didn’t say anything, you walked towards him and put your arms around his shoulders. 
“Wha-” You kissed his lips cutting him off and he was more than a little surprised when your tongue started prodding asking for entry into his mouth. He turned his head and opened his mouth allowing you to kiss him deeper. You two had only ever made out two times and both times Felix made you stop not wanting to take things too fast. It had been two years and you were madly in love with this man. You didn’t want to wait any longer. 
“Felix?” He hummed as you kissed down his jaw and neck.  
“I want you...” He hummed again lost in the feeling of your lips on his skin. 
“You want me to what?” He asked his brain only working at half capacity. You giggled. 
“I want you to touch me.” He pulled back and looked at you before shaking his head. 
“We don’t hav-” You cut him off. 
“I want you to make love to me Felix, I want it. I know we don’t have to but I want to...” You started getting a little teary eyed. 
“Don’t you?” Oh that broke Felix’s heart. He didn’t want you to think he didn’t want you. He’s wanted you since the moment he saw you. 
“Of course jagiya of course! I just... I want you to be sure. You’re sure?” You nodded. 
“Yes Felix I’m sure. You’re the man that saved me. My soulmate. I love you so much Felix.” He wrapped his arms around you. 
“I love you too.” His lips were against yours and things got heated quickly, teeth biting, tongues battling for dominance that no one could win. You pulled the tie of your robe loose and dropped it, you were completely naked underneath. Felix had never seen you without clothes on. The scars left from the beatings your grandfather gave you were still very visible. Tears welled up in Felix’s eyes and you ran your fingers through his hair. 
“It’s okay Lixie, it doesn’t hurt anymore.” He laid you back on his bed and started kissing every scar. Your body started tingling and it was throbbing between your legs, making you want to press them together. Felix hovered over your aching core. 
“Is this okay?” You nodded biting your lip. You weren’t sure what he was going to do but you trusted Felix. He gently parted your legs and then licked you. You jumped not expecting the warm wet feeling of his tongue against you like that but it felt amazing. 
“Oh!” He looked up to make sure you were still okay. You nodded and he continued. He softly flicked his tongue across your clit and it made your body buzz. You were getting a little breathy. You still had episodes with your breathing from time to time and Felix started to worry that maybe you were having one. He stopped and sat up a bit. You groaned at the loss of contact and looked down. 
“Why’d you stop?” He just giggled once he realized you were okay and went back to savoring you slow and steady until you felt your impending orgasm crash into you. Your legs trembled as Felix continued to softly run his tongue through your glistening folds. 
“F-Felix... oh... oh god.” You panted out. You gently pushed against his head, starting to get sensitive and Felix pulled away, climbing back up your body and kissing your lips. When he pulled away you let out a deep breath and started laughing from all the endorphins your orgasm had released.  
“Wow! I didn’t know anything felt like that.” Felix smiled. He’d seen you have a lot of firsts but your first orgasm was a thing of beauty. He was so hard under his towel there was no way you didn’t notice. You ran your hands up and down his sides.  
“Tell me how to do that for you.” Felix looked at you surprised. 
“Are you sure?” You nodded. You wanted to make him feel what you just felt. It was earth shattering in the best ways. He took one of your hands and ran it down his firm body until you were cupping his hard cock over his towel. He let out a breath, even the slight contact felt amazing. He rolled off of you and laid back on the bed, the towel tented by his painfully hard dick. You sat up and kneeled between his legs like he’d done to you. You pulled at the tucked in part of the towel and let it fall open exposing Felix to you entirely. He was so beautiful, every piece of him, every inch, every freckle, every sparkle in his eye, gorgeous. 
“Lick your palm and then wrap your fingers around it.” You did as Felix said and licked your palm, wetting it then grabbed a hold of his cock gently. He hissed a little and you were worried you had hurt him. He bit his lip and tilted his head back and you realized it wasn’t that it hurt it was that it felt good. Once he could lift his head again he told you what to do next. 
“Move your hand up and down now...” You moved your hand slowly and he let out a low moan that made you throb between your legs again. You went with your gut, you leaned forward and licked him like he’d licked you. 
“Oh god yes, do that again please...” You licked it again and again Felix hummed. 
“Mmmyou can put it in your mouth... if you want, if not the licking and your hand is enough, it feels so good jagi.” If putting his dick in your mouth felt even better you were doing it. You wanted to make him feel as good as he made you feel, you wanted to make him cum. You put the tip in and softly sucked on it unsure of what else to do, but it was kind of like a popsicle so you treated it like one. The way Felix’s breath quickened you must have been doing it right. You pulled off and kept moving your hand up and down. 
“Like that?” He nodded quickly. 
“Yes! Oh fuck yes! Suck just like that and see if you can go down more.” You put his tip back in your mouth and fit more of him inside sucking. 
“Yes y/n god that feels so good. Now just go up and down.” He gathered your hair so he could look down and see you as you started bobbing up and down. The more those little sounds came from Felix the more you wanted to push him to the edge. You went faster and took more of his cock, spit dripping down his shaft that you used to stroke what you couldn’t fit. Felix’s stomach sunk in and out with his deep breaths. 
“I’m gonna cum y/n, just stroke me, I don’t want to cum in your mouth” You appreciated the warning, you weren’t sure if you were ready for all that just yet. You pulled off of him and stroked him faster. 
“Pucker your lips and rub the tip on it jagiya.” You did what he said, stroking him as you rubbed the sensitive tip against your lips. He suddenly grabbed his dick and pulled it away from your face as he started coming. He moaned and panted as you ran your hands up and down his thighs while he stroked his cock and shook through his orgasm. When he was all together again, he took his towel and wiped the cum off his belly and hand and then tossed it in his dirty bin. Felix crawled back into bed over you again laying you back, smiling, glowing post orgasm. 
“Baby that was...” You were blushing and smiling. 
“It was okay?” He chuckled a little at just how sweet you were. The guys always thought he was so sweet, he had nothing on you. 
“It was way more than okay jagi, that was amazing.” Your smile grew and you pulled him down for a kiss. You two made out like that for a bit and then Felix’s hand started to trace down your body. 
“I’m gonna put my fingers inside you so that I don’t hurt you okay?” You nodded. Felix alternated between kissing you and sucking on your nipples as he eased his fingers into you and started to stretch you a bit. It felt strange, not painful, just different. You and Felix laid in bed and made out like that for a while. When Felix added teasing your clit to fingering you it suddenly felt really good. The wetter you got the harder Felix got and only once he made you cum again did he crawl between your legs, kneeling. His hands ran up and down your body as you came down from your second orgasm. Once Felix knew you were back with him he smiled and leaned down to kiss you.  
“I’m gonna put it in but I won’t hurt you.” You nodded. 
“You never have.” Felix kissed you tenderly. 
“And I never will jagiya.” He slowly started to push his tip inside you. Once he had he stopped and let you get used to the feeling of something so big inside you. It didn’t hurt, kind of like when he first put his fingers inside you, it was different. After a minute he pushed in a little more. Slowly he pushed in and waited and pushed in and waited until he was fully inside you. You felt so full, it felt so good. 
“Felix...” He looked down at you worried you may be in some discomfort. As soon as he saw your blissed out face any anxiety he was feeling about hurting you disappeared. He slowly pulled out and pushed in. 
“Yes, yes, more please...” He did it again faster and again. He started a slow rhythm burying himself deep inside you every now and then. You could feel that rubber band in you stretching ready to snap again at any moment. You weren’t sure how long it lasted, you weren’t sure where your body started and Felix’s stopped, hell you weren’t even sure what day it was anymore, you just knew that the third orgasm you had that night was by far the best feeling of your entire existence. Felix started thrusting faster reaching for his climax, he could feel it. 
“I’m g-gonna pull out, c-can I cum on you this time?” You moaned as you still shook through your orgasm. 
“Yes Lixie, do it, cum on me.” Felix choked out a moan, he pulled out stroking his cock as he came. You could feel warm cum landing on your skin and it surprisingly felt really good. Once he took a second to get his bearings, he quickly grabbed his towel again and wiped his cum off of you. He tossed it in the bin again and this time when he got into bed with you, he pulled you close and pulled the blankets over you both. You turned in his arms and started tracing his freckles. He scrunched his nose, his deep laugh resonating inside you. You nuzzled up against Felix, his slow deep breaths pulling you to sleep. When you were somewhere between sleep and awake you softly spoke against his skin. 
“It doesn’t hurt anymore.” 
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sunnylands-world · 5 months
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If it's the last time forever
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PAIRING: Draco x fem reader
SUMMARY: it wasn't ever supposed to be more than a few nights together but a few nights can lead to three words that can ruin everything
WORD COUNT: 1'243
WARNING: mentions of sex, angst, some poetry I wrote in between
UNIVERSE: harry potter
A/N: hi everyone! Sorry I haven't been as active, adult life is kicking my ass right now, anyway I have a request similar to this so I'm thinking I'll make that part 2
You read the warnings if you continue to read. I'm not to be held responsible.
Comments, reblogs, and inboxes are appreciated and motivational
I DO NOT CONSENT TO HAVING MY WORK POSTED TRANSLATED OR PUBLISHED TO ANY THIRD-PARTY SITE OR APP. IF ANYONE SEES MY WORK ANYWHERE BUT HERE IT HAS BEEN REPOSTED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.
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Draco knew what this time meant. He'd come to your door around this hour many times but this time it felt more weighted, like what was behind it was his two way answer for life and choosing the wrong answer would ruin everything, he didn't like this feeling. It was suffocating, wrapping his heart in rope and pulling at it till it bled and left sores; but this wasn't supposed to feel that way and it hadn't always.
It was just sex, it had been for months and that's how it was supposed to stay but going into this he knew the risk of touching, seeing, and breathing you in.
That's what started this in the first place.
He'd wanted you but not like this, not before at least. In the beginning he wanted you to himself for pleasure and pleasure only. He didn't like the thought of sharing what he touched and you were his, just for a night; but after a while it wasn't just a quick leave and enter…
The words that were whispered in a breath, the touches that gripped tighter, and the positions went from just feeling to seeing.
The need to see your eyes, the need to feel your lips.
you'd both broken the rules all because sex gave way for feelings and they were clearly there with every movement but neither of you let the words that would change it all slip…
That's where it got intense, that was the hold back that was the brick of ice on waves of water.
As you opened the door you didn't even meet his eyes, and in the beginning that was how it was supposed to be but now it hurts not seeing them look hopeful and excited to see him.
He only sighed as he looked you over while you fidgeted with your fingers. you were so beautiful so perfect to him, something written out of his own diary…
"We need to stop this," you rushed the words out like they were hot on your tongue and he had to admit they stung.
"I- fine" he said, kicking his raw emotions down the steps and watching them tumble.
"Why can't you just say it, do I really mean nothing to you? are you not even gonna try to change my mind!?" You shouted, cracks in your voice making way for your tears to fall and shaking like you'd cave.
"ricochet, ricochet my love… don't fall apart because of me."
"Say what?! That I want this!" He snapped, still fighting back the part of him that wanted more.
"you won't even fight for us, it's like you're heartless!" You say, pointing at him and every breath sucked in like there's not enough air to breathe.
"Can I hold you close, caress your skin, til you can breathe once again? I am the wave beneath your boat, I know how well you float…"
he wanted to tell you that it wasn't true, that he'd been thinking about you when he wasn't here. that he'd been distracted because he needed to be near you to focus. That every time he said possessive things in your ear he meant it but…he wasn't going to.
"I'd tell you something in French because it's pretty, but I can't speak it. My darling, my love. it's hard to be romantic when you're choking on food"
he wasn't sure why but all this scared him, maybe it was because he was in a position that put you in danger or maybe he was afraid of what this all meant but seeing you cry like this dropped his heart Into in stomach breaking it into pieces. He never wanted to be the source of your pain, he only wanted to make everything better but here he was breaking your heart because he was scared.
"Don't cry, please don't cry. I swear I tried but I fuck up sometimes. This isn't an excuse, my pretty muse. I'm an asshole and I know it's true but I sure do give a fuck about you"
"Are you ashamed? Is that it? Does being in love with Harry Potter's sister bother you that much? No, you're a coward. you don't want others to see you with me!"
Your words were full of rage and he deserved it but this was how it had to be, to much was what it would cost and because he hadn't really experienced love he was sure it was worth the risk but he also didn't want it to end like this but telling you otherwise would light a fire in you with hope so he lied.
"yes! I'm afraid I'll look like less if I'm with you!" He said and it sounded like a script he'd rehearsed but it did the job because you felt like a bullet went through you, you were bleeding out, possibly dying.
"Say it isn't true. I'm pulling the rope because I'm in love with you. Be the one to pull it back, fight for what I tried to push back. I won't last long your love gives me a heart attack"
"Get out! And don't even come back again, I never want to see you again, don't speak to me ever again!!" You shouted slamming the door in his face and just like that it was over.
He had to hide his pain as he walked away. He didn't need people to know he was seeing you in the first place. He could hear his father now, picture all the danger this one relationship could be.
He knew if others found out they'd have a field day with the knowledge that draco malfoy was with potter's sister. Word would travel fast like fire on grass, one blade catching and passing along until the whole field burned and that would mean the other death eaters would know. then they'd force him to say where Harry was or worse tell him to trick you into trusting him enough so he could get closer to harry and then they'd want him to kill him.
He couldn't do that to you, he wouldn't.
As time went by his days seemed to be darker than before, much darker and colder than his home.
He didn't like not seeing you anymore, not breathing your air, not meeting your eyes that held a light pulling him and taking him away from all of this.
He wished it was different, pictured a life where he wasn't who he was. Just an ordinary boy without complications but maybe then none of this would have happened, there may not have ever been a him and you.
It made his heart heavy and put a pit in his belly and his throat felt closed and empty. Were you worth it? Were you worth changing everything… he knew you were but he was still just Draco Malfoy and he knew deep down that what happened between you would be the last time forever…
Or maybe it wouldn't
"I can kiss a million roses and forget which one but the reds all stay the same like our love with a claw. I've never been scared of bears because I've never seen them maul but now I know they do have claws, scratching at our love like we've attacked them all. fear not my love, it's not the end for hearts can heal again and roses may grow with new stems…"
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MY TAGLIST HAS OFFICIALLY SHORTENED! IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN MORE OF MY WORK FOR DRACO COMMENT BELOW! 🥳
©Sunnylands-world this belongs to me therefore you don't have the right to do anything with my work or ideas without permission.
Nice thought, reblogs, and inboxing is appreciated and motivational ❤
Draco lovers and requests
@alexxavicry, @kyracanwrite, @animeloverfreak310, @phildunphyisadilf
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baby-yongbok · 7 months
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You & Me
Han Jisung x Fem!Reader
Genre: Angst, idol
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✨️Masterlist✨️
Warnings: mentions of wanting to die. (It's just for a second, I swear), Themes of a breakup/ ended relationship
Word Count: 1,460
Note: As soon as I heard Miserable (You & Me) I knew that I had to write based off of the lyrics. So I wrote this in thirty minutes while on anxiety medication that makes me a zombie so I'm sorry if it sucks but I actually love it.
Summary: You and Han's last call is emotional, to say the least.
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"Did you tell them yet?" You whispered into your phone receiver. Han was quiet for a second before sighing heavily.
"No… I'm not sure that I know how to. Do I just say, hey guys y/n and I broke up during rehearsal or something?" He lets out a sad chuckle and a ghost of a smile pulls at your lips.
"Just sit them down and tell them, Ji… I don't want you to go through this alone." It's quiet for a few seconds. The dim light in your room embracing you softly, mirroring how you feel inside.
"I'm not going through this alone… you're going through it too."
"You know what I mean, Ji." You sigh, shutting your eyes and leaning your head against your bed's headboard. "You know… we probably won't really talk anymore anyway so -"
"Don't say that." Han's words are rushed but you can still hear the pain behind them. "Of course we can talk."
"About what? Do you want to reminisce about all of our arguments? Or talk about the future we gave up on? Talking to you would just…" Your voice grows smaller as you process your emotions.
"Don't." Han whispers, you can imagine his pained facial expression. Eyes closed and his nose slightly scrunched as he battled his heavy thoughts.
"It would just be painful… for both of us and I don't want you to be in any more pain, Jisung."
"Then let's fix this, y/n… let's figure out the long distance."
"Ji…"
"Please, you don't understand how many times I shut my eyes and hope that when I open them that this is all a dream. For two years you have been my everything, y/n. You have been the center of everything, you are a part of my life and if I have to let you go…if I really have to let you go then I honestly rather be dead."
Tears fall down your cheeks as you bring your knees to your chest and shrink into yourself. You knew that this would be hard when you decided to break up with Han but you also knew that the long distance and constant fighting wasn't what either of you needed or wanted right now. Deep down Han knew that too, he was just too afraid to say it.
"I know that this is hard… I've cried every night since we talked about it but this just can't work… I never see you, Ji… your job is something bigger than the both of us right now and it's not anyone's fault… it's just how your life is designed and right now I don't fit here… we don't fit here." You hear Han sniffle on the other line and you swear that your heart breaks a bit more. The sound only makes your own tears fall heavier.
"Is there someone else?" His question comes out in a whisper. He didn't want to ask it but knowing him he probably couldn't go another second without a solid answer to his intrusive thoughts.
"Of course not."
"Then… then tell me you're still mine, baby, please."
"Jisung… you shouldn't call me that." You pull your lips into a thin line as you take in the silence on the other line. At this point the silence has said more than either of you for this entire conversation.
"Please." His voice is once again barely above a whisper and you bring a hand up over your heart to make sure it's still beating. You're almost positive that the amount of pain in his voice could kill you but you have to try your best to stay strong. But, even if you are staying strong you can't leave him as the only one being vulnerable here, it just wouldn't be fair.
"I think… I think that I'll always be yours, you have my heart, Ji." That was the push that broke the dam for him. You listen helplessly as he sobs into his hands on the other line. You sit quietly trying not to succumb to your heavy emotions as well. The all too familiar silence swallows you both until your emotions seem to calm down a bit and all that's left is the sound of light panting and deep breaths every now and then.
"Do you remember when I came to visit you and I took you to the carnival?" A grin tugs at your lips as you shake your head.
"Yeah, I do, we got on the Ferris wheel because you swore you could handle it but you freaked out the second we started moving." You both chuckle lightly at the memory.
"It was terrifying but… when we got to the top and I looked at you.. and I watched you marvel at the view and that smile on your face when you pointed to the sunset…" He got quiet for a second as he recalled the memory. You could imagine a ghost of a smile across his lips.
"When I saw you looking like that… looking so beautiful, so breathtaking… I wasn't scared anymore, y/n." Now it was your turn to cry. The hand that was over your heart was now over your mouth as you tried your best to muffle your sobs. You knew it was no use, you knew that Han could tell that you were crying but you couldn't help yourself. You wanted to be strong for him.
"I kissed you on top of that Ferris wheel while the sun kissed the horizon and it was then that I knew that I love you."
"That was the first time you said it too." You manage to choke out through your small sobs. "I was so happy."
"I smiled for weeks after that. How could I not? You loved me.. I just.." The smile in his voice faded as reality hit him again. "I just wish that you would love me like that again."
"Han Jisung, I do love you… I love you with all of my heart but this relationship is going to hurt us way more than it is now if we don't take off our rose colored glasses and look at the reality of it all."
Han sighed in defeat, he knew you were right. The two of you weren't doing well with the distance and the dating rumors that social media constantly pushed out was not helping at all. They shipped Han with everyone they could think of which did horrible things for both your anxiety and his. You'd fight over pointless things and though you always made up you'd be fighting again a week later and it became a cycle that you two just couldn't seem to escape from. The last thing that you wanted to do was leave him but this just wasn't how your relationship was meant to go.
"You're my heart, you know? You always will be."
"You're my heart too, Ji."
"When I come to the states… Could I visit you?" He was shy to ask but he had to know if he could see you. It's all he ever wanted to do anyway, he always wanted to be around you. Hugging you, kissing you, cuddling you, and you used to love every second of it.
"You're always welcome here, Ji." You can nearly hear the smile that paints his face.
"And you're always welcome here, y/n… next time you come to Korea I'll show you all of the places I never got to show you while we were together… is that okay with you?" You smiled a sad smile 'while we were together' this is really over, huh?
"Sounds like a plan, Ji." Just as Han is about to reply you hear Changbin calling for him in the background and Han lets out a deep sigh. "Gotta go?"
"Yeah… we have promotions to do." His voice is sad again, small and distant.
"Can you promise that you'll take care of yourself, Ji… for me." Your voice is hopeful and pleading, something that Han can't seem to resist.
"For you, I'd do anything… So yeah, I promise." The silence came back to you both as you tried to figure out how to say goodbye.
"Well… I'll see you around, good luck."
"See you around, y/n.." Neither of you hung up for a couple of seconds, both wanting the other to say one last word. To hear one last breath escape their lips. Neither of you wanted to let go but you knew you had to. Just as you were about to hang up you heard Han's whispered words followed by the call ending. Tears welled up in your eyes once again as his words echoed through your head.
I love you, y/n
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theerurishipper · 5 months
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This is in response to some arguments in defense of the finale I've seen recently, and if you do believe these, then more power to you! But I disagree, and I'm gonna talk about why.
Rant under the cut. Fair warning, this gets pretty salty.
So I've seen a lot of arguments about how it just wouldn't be possible to have Adrien in the final battle, whether it be because it would be too traumatic for him and we can't explore that in the middle of a fight, or because it would take away focus from Marinette and she would be irrelevant ultimately. And I actually agree!
But what could possibly be done to resolve this? Oh, I know! Fucking write better.
If you were going to put Adrien in the position of being central to the story and write him out with the excuse that he can't live up to that role for various reasons, then why did you write him in that role? It's obvious to anyone that if Gabriel is Adrien's father, then the emotional weight of the conflict would be centered on him and not Marinette. Then why did you still write that into the show? If you wanted to focus on Marinette over Adrien anyway, then why did you make Gabriel be Hawkmoth? Let some other rando be Hawkmoth! And now there's no value to Gabriel being the villain beyond giving Marinette some material for her grand speech (which didn't do shit cause she still lost).
And if you were going to say that Adrien was too traumatized to be in the battle or that he wouldn't be able to deal with it well or that we couldn't see that... write around it? Have him deal with it before, or something, I don't know! Maybe give him that sweet sweet character development? Maybe let the friends who are supposed to support him actually do that? Idk man, this is all coming across as a bunch of excuses to me.
The thing is, this is a kids show. It's not real. The writers control everything that happens. It's not about "realism," it's about narrative payoff. It's about the most satisfying outcome. It's about character arcs. If Adrien was never supposed to face his father in a fight, then why make him a superhero? Could have just let him be Adrien the teen model love interest while Marinette is the superhero. Why give him powers which thematically represent him breaking free from his oppressive life and an enmity with his own father if it never mattered? If "it's us against the world, my lady," and "we'll get all the Miraculous back together," never mattered, then why include it? If two partners chosen to fight evil together and the yin-yang symbolism never mattered, why set it up?
If you set something up, you have a responsibility to deliver on it, and Miraculous failed. And yeah. I get that it's hard. I'm not saying writing is easy. But anything is better than this! Writing is your job, and I don't expect literal perfection, but I expect it to fulfill the basic expectations of writing. I expect it to at least be good. This is not good. They literally ignored their own story and themes and character arcs and narrative payoff because they wanted Marinette to get a swanky new outfit and a cool fight scene. It wasn't even for her character. It's just so that they can put give her a cool power-up and sell Bug Noire dolls. It's disrespectful to Adrien's character, and it's disrespectful to Marinette's character too.
The writers failed to make Marinette interesting in terms of the conflict with Gabriel. They gave all the set-up to Adrien and didn't want to write the payoff. There are no emotional stakes in the final battle. They literally only talk about Adrien, and he's not there for that. It's bad writing. And if they didn't let Adrien be a part of the arc with his father as the villain, what hope does he have in the arcs with Lila as the antagonist, since she is a Marinette-centric villain? TA has already said that Marinette is Barbie and Adrien is just Ken. The writers have said that Gabriel is considered a hero by the end of Season 5. The show bible says that Adrien will never find out that his father is Hawkmoth.
Let's face it, they aren't coming back to this. Gabriel's era is over. Miraculous is well known for setting up conflicts and dropping them like a hot potato. If we ever deal with this, it's gonna be half an episode of Adrien forgiving Marinette because "she did it out of love." None of this will matter come Season 6. The supposed conflict being set up now will matter to Season 6 as much as the Ladynoir set up in Strikeback with the "we'll take back all the Miraculous together, you and me," mattered to Season 5, which is to say not at all.
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this-loser · 2 months
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Silent Prayer
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Author's Notes: So, I actually haven't written in a while and for those who liked my previous stories I apologize. I deleted them from the account and forgot that I didn't have them saved so they are gone forever. Recently I have been hard on myself about that plus my writing. I ended up going inactive and recently going into the DC fandom, especially because of my love for Jason Todd, I got back into writing again. This is the first time I've written for Jason, bunch of scrapped ideas before this, so if it feels out of character I must apologize. Anyway, enough of my talking. Please enjoy!
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「WC: 889」
「Summary: He's unable to sleep but maybe a little music will coax him into sleeping」
「Warnings: I don't use Y/N, This might be a little sad tbh, Nothing explicit just wholesome fluff, This is shorter than I originally thought it would be but I'm okay with this」
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「Song name: "In Dreams" by Roy Orbison. In case you'd like to listen to it while reading look it up on either YouTube or Spotify.」
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It was never silent. Not in Gotham City. From the police sirens to either the neighbors or the people outside the apartment building going on about their lives. No one pays any mind, depending on where you're looking, to the fact that this place was one of the biggest shitholes. No one could tell Jason otherwise. He'd lived on the streets, did things that he shouldn't have done but he needed to survive, and he witnessed first hand just how god awful the people in the city can be. All of that had been seen on repeat, through the eyes of a child. Was he proud of his past? Depends but for the most part no.
Reflecting doesn't help. He knew that. It only made things come back and the emotions left him sour. Especially when the original point was to sleep, something he was having trouble doing. Again.
Jason sat up, the blanket pooling at his hips as he ran a hand through his hair. The sound of a vehicle honking caused him to lift his head, looking at the window blinds. A few seconds pass by before he relaxes. "Hmm..." The softness of your voice drew his attention along with the blanket moving as you turned over onto your left side. "Jason," "Go back to sleep, baby." He crooned, stopping you from continuing your sentence then leaning down to you, his hand pushing some of your hair out of your face as your eyes started to flutter open. "Shh, just go back to bed. Everything is alright." He was bullshitting, but not to worry you. Jason knew that you'd be up without another second if you knew his insomnia was bothering him again. "Just sleep." His hand gently cupped your cheek as he kept whispering coaxing words to ease you back into sleep, blissfully unaware of his suffering. "Jay," Through tired eyes you look at him, the darkness of the bedroom hides his face, however, you could make out the look he gave you. A soft, reassurance that would have fooled anyone else if they didn't know him well enough, that is if they ever broke past that permanent scowl he always had. The look alone drew a huff from you. "Liar." He froze, the look quickly morphing into a disappointed frown. "Please, sleep. Don't worry about me. I'll be okay." He brought forth a small smile, his hand caressing your cheek. "Trust me, you need more sleep than I do, I'll be alright." "Jason..." He shook his head, stubbornness kicking in as he leaned closer and pressed his lips against your temple then pulled away. "You're gonna go back to bed, no arguing about it." You whined at his stubbornness and although that made him chuckle, he wasn't going to let up. You pulled a hand from under the blanket, lifting it and grabbing his arm. "No. I'm not giving up that easily, Jason." He bit back a groan at your stubbornness, internally kicking himself for hoping that you'd actually give in to his demand. You sat up slowly and let go of his arm as you reached over to the end table on your side, grabbing your phone.
It was still early in the morning and Jason clearly wasn't having a good night so far. "Jay, it's 4:37 A.M." He groans at the observation and leaning back against the headboard. "I know, Genius..." He grumbles, looking away from you completely. "You're welcome." You mumble, now going through your phone. A few seconds of silence go by before the room is filled with soft music from your phone.
"I softly say, a silent prayer like dreamers do"
He glances over to you, the song playing as you set your phone back onto the end table. "Music?" You nod, looking at Jason. "Why not? Might help you sleep." "Not really my type of music." "Too bad, you've got to deal with it since it's my choice." You lay back down, scooting over to him and throwing an arm over his hips, burying your face into the side of his thigh. "Who's the artist?" "Roy Orbison." He nods his head slowly, the name not sounding familiar to him. "Melancholy as hell though." He added, looking down at you and resting his hand on the back of your head. "Mm." Your eyes flutter closed, the soft tempo of the song starting to lull you back to sleep.
"In dreams, you're mine all of the time"
He leans his head back. Taking in the lyrics and how somber they are. "Actually, they are kinda peaceful." He whispers, his fingers running through your hair. "Except for the "Candy-colored clown" bit... That part doesn't sound all peaceful to me." A light scoff comes from Jason as he stares at the bedroom door and feeling his eyelids become heavier as the song continues to play.
"In beautiful dreams"
He blinks a few times as a wave of sleepiness crashes over him but he pulls himself back and gently pulls your arm from his hips. You make a small noise of protest as he lays down, pulling you into his arms once he's laying on his right side. You sigh in content, relaxing again and peacefully resting as Jason's eyelids close. The melody of the song coaxes him into a dreamless sleep.
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mejomonster · 1 year
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Just watched till the end of the moon ep 9:
I'm so down bad for these 2
I cannot stress enough that skipping them to marriage so no stupid "innocence" or naivety stuff as is the usual situation is here
I cannot stress enough how much I LOVE that li susu seems adult, mature, seasoned in battle love etc, and just generally like a late 20s early 30s adult trying to save the world instead of a young adult Hero and how nice it is. Just for me, I'm happy for the variety
I LOVE tantai jin. He's a fucked up guy. He's the wet skinny pathetic man fangirls always say they want. He's genuinely a pretty cold bitch AND he gets to be lead (in a cdrama!). He is monstrous cause bitches have treated him monstrous so like susu said! He responded to a cruel world with cruelty back. It's not a lead I'm used to but I AM loving it. I also love how for him a kind gesture really is worth it's weight in gold like? For him. As awful as ye xiwu was in marriage pre susu, as much as susu literally said she wants to kill him more than anyone else in the world... she keeps saving him. Giving him food. Risking HER life for his. And for him those specific actions are worth more than anything anyone's ever given him. Maybe even more than what Lan gave him, since at least ye xiwu is upfront about wanting to imprison him and being mad at him so like she probably isn't going to "secretly" betray him since she's fairly honest (now). I love that he is JUST a fucked up guy with a fucked up destiny meant to be devil God, who the universe was probably intentionally shitty to cause its hoping (on like a cosmic scale) he will Suffer and Die and become devil God in revenge. I love that its not trying to make the bitch noble. He is who he is. For whatever that means, it's just a story about 2 people who'd never have met. But susu has changed the trajectory just by being herself around him and it's COMPELLING.
The transformative power of love (or simply being kind to another person) and all that. How the cursed jade said she's mostly just SO SURPRISED someone would help another person. I feel like that's probably the Theme of the show right there. Even susu is probably surprised by herself helping him. And in the jade transfer moment, I think she's surprised she genuinely does NOT think he only is comprised of bad traits. For all the cold bitch that he is, betraying her that he's done, cruel view he has of the world... actions speak louder than words to susu too. And for all the bad he's done... he has also done some good things. And she finds herself seeing him in shades of grey instead of a monster like she expected to.
I just love their bickering lets be real. Susu just SAYS shit on the top of her mind (to be fair tantai jin is a bitch and deserves to be bitched at). But she's like "from now on let's have NO CONNECTION" to 6 hours later being like "your life is in my hands and I say when you can die I'm imprisoning you forever ill see you nonstop bitch." And it's like... susu honey, that was LITERALLY tantai jins plan to do to you like 6 hours ago. Yall have the same plan. Just who's the prisoner is switched lmao. No wonder he's oddly attracted to you. You see him being a big manipulative bitch and like you're not stealthy, but you ARE like "WELL FINE ill say some SHIT and BREAK YOUR HEART then. Cry me a river! Oh you thought I was dead? You cried? GOOD. Now anyway fight is over as long as I'm winning!"
Their emotional fights are both ridiculously huge (like rumor of the Kingdoms wild) but also so shallow cause these bitches will be like "I DECIDE when you DIE" then you find them clutching each other in the woods BOTH unwilling to abandon the other and BOTH taking life threatening damage trying to protect the other and BOTH trying to then heal said damage of each others! Like. That's just so fucking funny??!! And fun. Xiao Lin is going to be like "what in the world??" But move on
Anyway speaking of Xiao Lin: I love how he genuinely seems to care for tantai jin! Probably only person in the world who does! I hope one day tantai jin finds out its genuine heartfelt care for him. Buy knowing tantai jins life... he's going to do some awful shit to Xiao lin that ruins his life or kills his wife or kills thousands of innocents in front of him, THEN Xiao lin will be breaking down crying how he never thought tantai jin would do this and he thought tantai jin was a good person who wanted to avoid seeing the ppl in harm and he always wished tantai jin could have a better life. And then tantai jin, probably newly learning compassion from enough bullshit attempts with susu, that his own heart will be breaking BECAUSE of the consequences of his own actions. So. Thrilled to cry later I guess
Speaking of susu and tantai jin. tantai jin LAYING ON HER SHOULDER THINKING ABOUT WHAT SHE BULLSHITTINGLY SAID LOVE WAS AND HOW HE THINKS SHE LOVES HIM AND HOW HE THINKS HE MIGHT LOVE HER AND CUDDLING
that is what watchers want!! (At least me!!) Men lying heads on their lovers shoulders and thinking dreamy about them
Bai Lu gives off such bisexual lead energy tho even without a woman to flirt with I'm sure thats part of the appeal for me. Bottom line is I like in my b/g romances on occasion (who am I kidding more of the time than not) to have a dominant kind of woman. And bai lu delivers. Her man leans on HER shoulder. Is carried around her shoulder with HER arms.
Speaking of, people who cast this were 1. Fulfilling so many wishes letting Luo yunxi just play PURE FUCKED UP and I love it. 2. By casting him as this suffering Weak physically nearly always dying willfully little skinny twink of a man, who's also God tier powerful especially with rage, who's costume entails constant bloody whump, collars, choking and ropes, like. There's a HELLA SPECIFIC NICHE Luo yunxis character resides inside this show and it sure is feeding That Demographic. I'm up for it. It's like if mo ran and chu wanning had a fucked up mashup
I'm fearing the jade maker witch was somehow susu in a past life and now I'm wondering if time travel is gonna be in this bitch
If there IS time travel? I really like the idea of tantai jin specifically time traveling the 2nd time around, once he and susu fell in love, once he knows what susu knew from the beginning. I think that could open a lot of new avenues that he is not currently able to go into given his current personality and knowledge
It's still funny as hell to me tantai jin is kind of angling for death cause he KNOWS he gets super-powered once he dies. But his wife keeps being like NO BITCH YOU GOTTA LIVE WELL. And I'm hoping eventually he's like: maybe she's right... maybe the revenge means more if I'm alive for it and not dissassociated. Maybe I SHOULD try to become a God tier monster without dying. Which would still lead to oh no devil tantai jin lol, but a version of it that is fully Himself which I would like
You know I'm liking a show when I'm contemplating binging beyond what's on youtube rn
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iamawolfstarsimp · 2 months
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Sup bitches im back
currently snowing where I am so thought I'd make a cute lil cozy fluffy fix for ya'll (plus, who doesn't like those)
Hope you all are well, I recently got sick and finally am rid of whatever sort of illness it was. but I'm just gonna get into the swing of things again now that I'm better so what better way to do that than write a fic for ya'll
but anyway, enjoy!
Sirius didn't know what this feeling was. A sort of misplacement.
It happened every few weeks or months, where Sirius would wake up and not feel right in his bones. As if his soul was uncomfortable in his body.
It wasn't like the regular winter or autumnal melancholy, but a deeper feeling than that. It weighed him down for however long it stuck around, dragging within him like some sort of ball and chain.
You could usually tell when it happened, the symptoms were pretty obvious. He was less energetic and wasn't in on any pranks or mischief making, he ate less and dressed more proper instead of his usual mushed up look, and either avoid the others like the plague or follow them around like a helpless puppy.
He rarely ever talked to anyone about it (as far as Remus knew) except for James. He would wordlessly crawl into James' bed when he felt the need to and they would talk (so he presumed, they always put up a silencing spell. He used to wish he could know what they talked about behind those curtains, to be included in their mystery conversatios. It hurt sometimes how Sirius would hide away all of the things he found ugly about himself and only show them to people he truly trusted. Of course, those memories were years ago, before they had even started dating so now he got to see plenty of Sirius' parts. Both the good and bad.)
On days or nights he felt that sense of longing or depression, he would crawl into Remus' bed and they'd talk or not talk. Whatever Sirius needed at the time.
This time was one where he wanted to talk. It was morning before classes and the others had already left. Remus was never a morning person so he stayed and slept in, snoozing his alarm every few minutes.
Sirius walked over and opened his curtains timidly. Remus turned and looked before smiling.
"Can I come in?" Sirius murmured. Remus nodded and rolled over to open the blankets for Sirius to crawl into which he did gladly.
"You wanna talk or jus' 'ere for a cuddle?" Remus slurred, blinking awake.
"Both?" Sirkha shrugged. Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius' shoulders, ducking his face into his shoulder to hug him. They stayed like that before Remus pulled back.
"M'kay, what's up?" Remus asked, resting his head on his pillow but remaining eye contact.
"I don't really know, I just-" Sirius sighed, looking away. "How do you feel upset about something that you don't feel upset about?"
"Like, I feel sad about my body right now but my head knows I'm hot and I have no reason to dislike myself but I do." Sirius explained, looking up at him.
Remus paused, letting the air settle. "Feelings and emotions can be confusing. Sometimes you can't control or rationalize them. They can be wildly incorrect but you still feel them not matter how you much you try to rid of them." Sirius looked away again. "And that's okay." Remus turned his face so that he'd look him in the eye. "Sometimes the best thing you can do is just feel, even if that's all you can do."
"No one's gonna judge you for being human and not loving yourself all the time." Remus smiled.
Sirius gave a small smile back. "What's bothering you this time?" Remus asked.
"Just my scars," Sirius replied, tracing up and down Remus' arm as he spoke. "Memories of how I get them, the pain I experienced as I got them, the house." Sirius shuddered slightly, shaking his head. "God, the house."
"I understand." Sirius knew he did but felt glad to be reassured. "My scars get to me too."
"Yeah, but, your scars are badass!" Sirius said immediately. Remus eyerolled but he was smiling. "Yours are like battle scars, they make you even hotter. Mine are just evidence of where I came from."
"If anything your scars are "battle scars", with all the fighting you and your mother had." That got a chuckle out of Sirius. "Mine are self-induced and you know that." Remus aimed a poke for Sirius' middle. Sirius swatted away his hand.
"Don't be mean."
"Don't be such a grouch." Remus snarked back, poking him again.
"Don't tickle me." Sirius grabbed his hands, or tried to.
"Oh, sorry, was I tickling you?" Sirius grinned and rolled over, hiding his face.
"You know you were, you meanie!" He said into the pillow.
"Can't help it, you're too fun to mess with." Remus leaned in and spoke in Sirius' ear, hands moving to wiggle against his sides.
"Rehemus!" Sirius shouted, arms slamming down to protect his sides.
Remus only grinned and continued. Sirius flipped over to properly defend himself but only succeeded in revealing more spots for Remus to "torture".
"No, wait, don't!" He laughed as Remus pinched along the bottom of his stomach. He threw his head back and cackled, hands weakly hitting Remus in the arms and shoulders.
"Hm? Don't what Padfoot? Honestly you're making no sense right now." Remus tutted, kissing the corner of Sirius' outstretched mouth.
"Tickle me! Don't tihihickle me!" Sirius giggled, yelling when Remus slipped his hands underneath his loose sleep shirt.
"Tickle you? Well if you insist." Remus shook his head and drilled his fingers into the bottom of Sirius' ribs, kissing different places his mouth could find. Sirius was lost in his own mirth, back arching, squeaking all the while squirming like mad.
Remus backed off and just trailed his fingertips across Sirius' sides lightly. He tugged up his shirt to inspect the scar that ran across Sirius' side, three prosice lines cut evenly on his left side, his mother's doing. He traced the lines a few times till Sirius caught his breath.
"You're an awful boyfriend." Sirius scowled, but there was amusement in his eyes. Remus only laughed and kissed him again.
"Better?" Remus raised his eyebrows.
"No, but I'll accept your measly apology for now because we have class in twenty minutes." They both hopped up from the bed.
"But I expect a hundred more later!" Sirius shouted from the bathroom. Remus shook his head in the moment but fulfilled Sirius' request and some.
Hope you liked!
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ferris-the-wheel · 3 months
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Dante Meadows
"You've been staring at me for a while. Do you need something from me?"
: ̗̀➛ Age: 16
: ̗̀➛ Gender: Male
: ̗̀➛ Pronouns: He/Him
: ̗̀➛ Species: Demigod
: ̗̀➛ Abilities:
> Shadow traveling
> Control over shadows
> Radiating an aura of death
Backstory
He was raised in the underworld after his mortal mom died in childbirth. Hades was normally very busy and didn't have a lot of time to spend with him due to him literally ruling the underworld, so he learned to be independent very early on. His relationship with Hades is complicated because while he does respect and is loyal to his father; from his perspective, he thinks that Hades values his job more than him. Therefore, he wants to get stronger so that his father will 'finally notice him'.
He feels neglected by Hades since the latter didn't spend a whole lot of time with him, but he also understands that his father's job is incredibly important, leading him to feel conflicted. He does have a fear of abandonment (strengthened by his mother's death), which makes it even harder to form genuine connections.
Despite being a child of Hades, he didn't want to seem totally goth. He didn't want to lose his personality to meet others' expectations. Therefore, he dyed his hair (originally black) pink.
He likes the darkness of the underworld and finds comfort in the shadows. Since he grew up in the underworld, he isn't really all that caught up with how the modern world works— at all. He does know the weaknesses to a lot of monsters, though, so he's pretty strong in a fight.
He occasionally visits Camp Half-Blood, where he resides in Cabin 13. He gets along with pretty much everyone, despite not having a lot of knowledge about popular topics such as celebrities and things like that. Everyone knows where he comes from, though, so they don't tease him about it (much).
~ Chibi Dante
Personality
He's very clever, confident, and blunt. He always has a witty response or a sharp comeback when insults are directed toward him. Even though he sometimes misses social cues, he's very flirty and is generally likeable. Despite this, he feels isolated and lonely, even among other demigods. He has a hard time maintaining relationships, platonic or otherwise, and always keeps people at arms length.
He has a hard time trusting people, which is a result of him fearing being rejected. He does want to form genuine connections with people, but he isn't quite sure how, so you'd have to bring it up first. And put a lot of effort into it as well. While he may act as though the negative comments don't affect him, deep down, it hurts him and his self-esteem. He pretty much just masks his negative emotions with a carefree, bold mask to protect himself.
Additional information
> He's openly bisexual and will shamelessly flirt with pretty much anyone he finds attractive/is his type, though he does lean more toward guys.
> He's in a relationship with Justin Ashfield (going on one year).
> Given that he lives in the underworld, nothing like bad smells, scary-looking monsters, or things like that scare or bother him. Well, even if something did really scare him, he probably wouldn't let it show anyways.
> He is what most would call "conventionally attractive". Yeah, before his heritage was revealed, several people thought he was a son of Aphrodite, which he found funny and didn't bother to correct them. Though not everyone likes him, mainly to his snarky attitude and uncaring personality.
> His favorite food is pomegranate seeds (Persephone often gave them to him as a snack so he grew to like them a lot).
> He really likes horse-like creatures of any kind, though he especially likes Aethon, Alastor, Podargos, and Xanthos (the horses that pull Hades' chariot) as he grew up around them.
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Haha, I'm done >:D I hope you guys love Dante as much as I do! 😍
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🦀 👑 for our Mormon boy Joshua please! "I'm not afraid of you."
Oooohhhhh this is a good one! And perfect for Joshua too, omg.
Writing for this dramatic man is so much fun, I can't--
I also know he's a horrible person, but I always feel like his partner would overlook that and have similar philosophies as him
But anyway, morals aside, I hope you like it! 😁
Your hand shook as you reached for him, the soft sound of air puffing through Joshua's covered mouth the only noise in the still and silent tent. Wary eyes stayed locked to his closed ones, your own breath held tightly in your lungs as your fingers brushed over the linen that was firmly secured over the swell of his cheekbones.
His scars were barely visible, but as the fabric was slowly pulled away, the dark, ravaged flesh was revealed to you inch by inch. Your lungs began to burn as you neglected them, your attention only on the way the linen gave way beneath your unraveling fingers, your eyes wide and glossy as your throat tightened with emotion, with sympathy, with hurt that bordered on physical pain. Slowly, you released a breath, the air shaking as it left you, passing ever so lightly over the exposed skin of your partner where he lay beneath you.
You blinked once, a necessary action after your eyes' unrelenting contact with the sleeping man in front of you, and when they opened, they were met with his own icy gaze, and your wrist was met with one linen-covered hand as it grasped you tightly to halt your movement.
"Six." He said, his voice low.
A gentle warning.
Your gaze darted to Joshua's lips as he spoke your name, now as exposed as the bridge of his nose had been, as those eyes that barred your movement have been since the day you met him.
"Enough." His hand pulled yours away from his face, and the linen slipped from your fingers dejectedly.
"Why?" You whispered, your brows scrunched with the injury his words were inflicting upon you. "Why can't I see you?"
Joshua looked down in thought, his scarred lips a thin line as he sat up in his bedroll. The thin sheet covering his torso fell down to his lap, exposing the same such linen wrapped tightly about his toned chest, which rose and fell heavily as he sighed.
"Such things are not worth seeing."
"I think I'll be the judge of that." You snapped, more harshly than perhaps you meant to. "How can you tell me what I would or wouldn't like to see?"
Joshua's brows hardened over his light eyes, and even with the way the ruined flesh of his nose seemed to melt down his face, you could see the way his nostrils flared.
"These scars are a testament to my sins, my love. A monument to all of the wrong I've done in my life, every affront to my religion, to the morals that I should have been adhering to all along. The ones that, in my pursuit of selfishness and power, I've not only ignored, but knowingly and violently disregarded."
Pain shone in his eyes as he flinched with every word passing through his lips, as his memory transported him to that infamous day, that gruesome fall that would've destroyed any man but him.
"My skin is a map of my failures that I would not subject you to. It's the guise of a sinner, of an apostate who betrayed everything he was meant to stand for. That he vowed to stand for. It's the skin of a man, of a monster, that you never could've loved."
"No." You told him firmly, no more than half a moment passing before your mind was made up, your words decided. "This is the skin of the man I love. A man whose been through hell and come out more devout than anyone I've known."
His hand was warm to the touch as you wrapped yours around it, caressing so delicately the covered flesh that he so despised.
"You're no monster, Joshua, and I'm not afraid of you. Or of who you once were. You had to go through that to become what you are now, and any other man I've met would've turned sour, would've given up or gotten worse than he was before, out of bitterness and hatred, but you didn't."
Your fingers moved as you spoke, the edges of the linen wrapped around his hand loosening as you slowly unraveled it.
"You returned to yourself, you gave up the way of life that led to this end, you learned and you grew. You're worth more now than you ever have been, you're stronger in will, in faith, than you ever could've been, had this not happened."
He didn't move to stop your movement, instead, he offered his hand to you as his eyes stayed locked with yours, extending his fingers to ease the process of unveiling them.
"And I love you. This you. The man you've become, the one whose had to go through so much to get to this point. I love this man, and I want to see him. Scars and all."
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cloverandstuff · 11 days
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I'm rewatching Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood cause it's been literally a decade since I've watched it.
So cheers, I have a reaction thread (because I'm a sentimental bitch)
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Episode 1:
God, I've forgotten how it immediately just got to the action in the first episode. Like, it set up everything and gave a glimpse of nearly all important character.
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Poor Isaac, was probably manipulated, but ultimately led himself to his own demise. Very bold though.
And god, I think I was too depressed at the time of watching it, but the Eldric brother's backstory was so painful with that small glimpse.
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Episode 2:
I cannot for the life of me understand why this shit didn't affect me as much as it should've as a kid. It might've depression that numbed my emotions, but I guess we'll never know.
Anyway, my point is, this is is traumatizing, and that's me saying this as an adult. The backstory and the short glimpses of the mom, as well as the clear love and dedication they had for her? The way that Ed didn't even hesitate to try and find more truth? The way he dragged himself, bleeding leg and all, to the armor to shove it down, and connect his brothers soul to it???
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And god, the way I just kept whisper-shouting when they came to recruit him, cause I didn't remember shit, going-
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But man, as someone is is now so much older than Ed is in the anime, they make him act a kid. A very smart, powerful and purposeful kid, but a kid nonetheless. He's so young and you can just feel it in the little things he does. He does not have his shit together and is still figuring some shit out.
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Episode 3:
I love the comedy this anime has. It has the funny little pauses and the interuption of what should be serious moments without ruining the actual serious moments.
It is exactly my cup of tea, with a silly joke that just poked fun at a kid or being, well. A kid. He's small, and that joke may remind He's small but I can also remind you that he is so much younger than his peers.
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I am an atheist so I do have the same kinda mindset about God that Edward has. Rose has this sort of annoying mindset of God and his priests being this answer to all suffering and anyone who disagrees will suffer divine Punishment. It is frustrating at the start.
But I can fully understand where she's coming from by the end. She clung onto this hope, this prayer that someone she loved so much will eventually be revived. Rose then meets the brothers who lost someone they loved, and tried to being back as well. She saw the consequences and felt terrified. But she spent so long just clinging onto this hope that she desperately wants it to be true. So she argues, trying to convince herself that Cornella was telling the truth and she didn't waste so long praying for something that didn't exist.
People can find comfort in the idea of God(s). The idea that there is someone looking after everyone and offering guidance is reassuring for some.
That was not Rose's situation.
Rose's situation is more akin to having a loved one suffering from a terminal disease and convincing yourself that prayers and God will be able to do what science could not. You can not pray for the impossible. You can pray for hope, for guidance or for even a fast recovery. But you need to understand that even if you wish for something impossible, you cannot spend your life wasting away on these prayers and refuse to do anything else.
Rose needed to stop clinging in general because she was clinging on to something impossible that compelled her to try and attempt awful things. She needed to learn to stand on her own. Maybe she could one day find hope in God again, but it wouldn't be anytime soon.
Man, I went on a rant there.
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Anyway, I just wanted to type all that put because my mind just felt like analysing for a bit.
I forgot what the philosopher stone even did until now. I remembered that it was powerful but I that was about it. Now I remember, it was shit about defying the rule of absolute equivalence.
I am kinda happy I forgot majority of the lore of this anime, it makes it fun to put all the pieces together again as an adult who can process things and analyse better.
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Episode 4:
This hurts.
This hurts so much. They were so happy, and acting like actual kids. They played all sorts of games with Nina and Alexander. It was so bright. They were so bright.
But Tucker, the motherfucker, only saw what he was bound to lose instead of what he had. He tried to work his way through it, but eventually just gave up.
My heart sank when I heard him ask Nina to play the next day. It broke even more when heard Nina say, in that voice that doesn't belong to a kid, "onii-chan".
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He sacrificed everything just to save his title pf State Alchemist. He gave up his wife and then his daughter and the respect of these kids.
God, I hate him. I understand him and his desperation and I hate him.
Scar is back though. We love scar man. He's weird but core to the story and has every right to hate State Alchemists.
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Again, when I was a kid, I didn't feel much. This episode never hit me as hard as it does now. Back then, I though the Eldric brothers were being dramatic about the whole thing.
Now it just strikes me so hard how fucked up it wad to be willing to experiment on your own kid for a stupid title. To mutate her into an existence that was nothing like her human one.
Brotherhood didn't make it blatantly, but it was mentioned time and again, just how painful it was to be a chimera in the original. Nina was in pain and Tucker knew this.
I fully understand why this hurt the Eldric brothers so much now. That was horrid. And to be able to even see a semblance of yourself in that was painful.
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silvertherogue715 · 16 days
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hello! How are you doing? Feeling any better since you caught that cold? This ask is gonna be about Sunstar mainly so I’m gonna split this up into different parts based on the questions. Knowing that Duo attacked and badly injured him I’m curious as to why? Was it cause of the bad emotions that he gave off and effected the other stardroids? Or just a chance encounter that didn’t go well? And does he just stay at one NEC or does he get the other one?
Emotions and relationship wise: Does the NEC still effect his emotions or are they more apparent then before because he only has one of the NEC he had originally? Does this change his behavior in anyway than what he was like originally? Especially his relationship with Terra and Minx(the last ask with his and Does he have any other relationships with the stardroids or know any Navis?
knowing that he’s the leader of the stardroids what does he do exactly?
with his ability being effected by emotions which sorts of emotions cause a increase in heat? Excitement, love, anger, etc. and just an angsty thought that came up has he ever out of instinct tried to grab someone out of panic or reflex and ended up burning them instead? (I assume he’s very careful but the concept of it happening to anyone(Minx, Terra, stardroid) is just a curiosity)
I hope you’re doing well! Have a good day/night! Thank you
I'm doing much better now, thank you! I don't get sick often, so I was a bit caught off-guard, but it also happened right before break when a bunch of assignments were nearing their deadlines. 
Hopefully I'll be able to dedicate way more time to shoveling out Brainrot AU stuff now.
This is a long one! I'll post my answers below the cut.
Why did Duo attack?
There’s a lot of lore for Duo in my AU, but I'm gonna try to simplify it here.
It’s canon in the MMBN anime that Duo began to see his creators and their civilization as evil, and that he eventually destroyed all life on Earth during that time before leaving on a rocket that mimics the appearance of a comet (which is powered by Negative Energy).
In my AU, he sees all NEC-Navis as inherently “evil.”
He uses this comet to approach sources of “evil,” and gives any intelligent life he comes across a “test” to determine whether or not they as a whole are evil and should be destroyed. This also means that Sunstar and the Stardroids are always on his radar. They have clashed several times.
Duo is the first and only Viren Navi with 5 GV-Crystals in his body, and Sunstar only absorbed the extra 3 NE crystals in his body to stand a chance against Duo when no other NE-Navi could. Unfortunately, he had no idea the consequences would be so dire, and was too far gone to stop by the time he realized.
Does he just stay at one NEC?
No. Sunstar is reduced to one NEC after Duo’s attack, but he does eventually regain up to 4 out of the 5 total.
The stardroids secure the two that go into his forearms before arriving to Earth.
Terra obtains the fourth, one of his original two that go in his chest, from Ra Moon after the Stardroids arrive on New Earth.
Minx finds the 5th later..but that’s not important right now =) 
Sunstar was never ”woken up” after the attack from Duo until Terra restored his other original NEC from Ra Moon inside his chest. All the Stardroids knew of the possible side effects from either losing or receiving damage to an Energy Crystal: there had been plenty of personal and historical references to use.
Had they activated him with one NEC, Sunstar would have been missing a huge chunk of his memories. In addition to this, he would have felt his emotions with an all-new intensity that he was unfamiliar with. Think of a usually calm and intimidating individual getting reduced to tears on a regular basis or verbally lashing out after an insult that wouldn’t have normally phased him. Positive side effects would be a temporarily clear mind and non-firey hands, but the downsides outweighed them tenfold. 
The change would definitely put a strain on his relationships. It’d be like having to learn about a person all over again.
What are his relationships?
Most Earth Navis Sunstar is familiar with he has met through/with Minx when he was still “Ra Moon.” He couldn’t/wouldn’t make many friends for several reasons, but some notable cases include:
Napalmman: Both love to talk about their respective netops (Nenji/Minx), and their shared love for explosions and anything fire-related. Friend!
Also occasionally talks with some coworker Navis Napalmman is friends with.
Sprout: Carson’s hilariously underwhelming but overpowered normalnavi. Carson is one of Minx’s older brothers, and due to plot reasons, Sprout is the only other Navi Ra Moon would see occasionally when Minx was a child.
Shadowman: Frenemies. He and Miyabi tried kidnapping him several times at one point, and Ra Moon loves to tease/annoy him whenever he gets the chance.
Shademan: Hate. Can and will fight on sight.
Forte/Bass: Sympathetic, but best to avoid. His relationship with Dr. Cossack (manga-based) is semi-mirrored by his relationship with Minx.
As for the other Stardroids…I hate to admit I have not thought of many specific interactions between Sunstar and all of them. This is the perfect opportunity to brainstorm though! Hmm..
Saturn would likely be chilly to Sunstar given his crush on Terra. Sunstar would probably dislike his poor work ethic and pull the occasional prank on him.   
Venus looks up to him, and while Sunstar finds her adorable, he regularly gives her physically harder tasks (like leading training sessions) to satiate her pride.
Sunstar is practically the only one who interacts with Mars–they both have a mutual understanding of the other, as each were deemed “monsters” by the Viren civilization. I wouldn’t describe them as friends, though.
Mercury annoys him to hell and back and Sunstar does his best to station Mercury as far away from himself as possible. 
Jupiter is one of the only Stardroids who will actively seek out Sunstar without going through Terra first. He has a deep respect for Sunstar’s strength, and finds him less intimidating due to his friendship with Uranus.
Uranus is terrified of Sunstar but plays it off with bravado by challenging him to fights. He has yet to win.
Sunstar likes Pluto and Jupiter maybe the most due to their sort-of friendship with Terra. Also, because Sunstar is absolutely a cat person.
I’ll need to think further on some of the other ones.
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What does he do?
Sunstar was created to serve as a symbol of protection for Virens, but more importantly for NEC Navis. He shadowed Terra for three major things:
How to lead as a representative for NEC Navi’s
How to observe and deal with hostile rival alien civilizations that may pose a threat to specific Viren settlements 
How to prevent and manage NE-Navi-related disputes while striving for a positive social image
Admittedly, Sunstar shadowed Terra for a majority of his time after being created. He very rarely acted without first consulting or collaborating with Terra first. Terra had both more knowledge and experience than him, but he also commanded more trust and respect from the population and other Viren leaders/council members.
Before Duo mutinied against the Viren civilization on Earth, Sunstar wanted to implement at least two policies/practices:
Raising awareness of and liquidating misinformation surrounding the nature of Negative Energy Crystals and NE-Navis.
The removal of exclusively positive or negative energy crystals.
He had proof it was possible for a hybrid design.
Now, though?
His ship is stranded on Earth with Duo no doubt closing in. The civilization that he was responsible for previously before is dead. The only thing he can do is try to protect the life he has secured on New Earth with friends and family, new and old. 
--
After reawakening with 4 NECs, Sunstar proceeds to lose the 2 in his forearms during a battle on Earth soon after re-arriving. They get shattered in the heat of the battle, and a decent chunk of Arc 2 is spent hunting down the shards before Duo can arrive.
What emotions cause an increase in heat?
Emotions like anger, fear, sadness, or any combination of those that can leave him feeling overwhelmed. Again, Sunstar’s emotions are more muted than regular NE-Navis, given he has two NECs. That means whatever he’s feeling has to be pretty intense for it to affect him so deeply, but he is most prone to anger out of any other ‘provocative’ emotion. 
Also! He kind of hates how his hands can be a “tell” for him. He may have a stoic persona, but there’s only so much you can hide behind an empty stare, or later, a mask, without your furiously flaming hands giving you away.
Has he burned someone accidentally?
Grabbing and shaking you. I love your brain. He absolutely has.
It doesn’t happen often anymore, not like when he was first created, but my god does it devastate him when it does. He knows what happens when he touches things: they burn. He can’t help but ask himself, why does he still slip up? He knows his loved ones know it is never out of malice, that it’s an accident, that they forgive him, but he finds it hard to forgive himself. 
It’s safe to say Sunstar has accidentally burned nearly all of the Stardroids at least once. For specific people, though?
Uranus: weirdly enough he wants to fight Sunstar hand-to-hand. Close combat is his forte, and he wants to prove he’s strong enough to push through and kind of foe–or pain.
Mercury: he is absolutely enough of an annoying bastard for Sunstar to chase him down on several occasions until he either hands over whatever he has stolen from another Stardroid, apologizes to whoever he pissed off, or mans his station.
Terra: multiple times back on Viren Earth. A few scenarios:
Sunstar grabbing Terra by the shoulders to protect him from falling debris
Sunstar accidentally burned Terra when the latter passed him something by hand.
Without thinking, Sunstar tried holding Terra’s hand during a wholesome moment for both.
Minx: (so far) twice.
Minx tried holding his hand, thoughtlessly.
Sunstar grabbed and pulled Minx by the arm to prevent her from wandering into oncoming traffic at night.
He always apologizes profusely, but has a bad habit of isolating himself for hours and sometimes days afterwards.
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He was apologizing for months afterwards.
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tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang · 11 months
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+++i am curious to konw what Hanma had stuffed Kazu's mind with to the point that he suspected his bestfriend and stabbed him.
1- every single time i see his face relizing what he had done i feel like i'm the who got stabbed not Baji, Kazu looks so confused, as if he was lost trying to understand why does what he did look so missed up, it's just not right, Baji isn't his friend and only wants to prove him wrong, or so does Hwnma claims to.
2- The moment he stabbed Baji is so casual (I mean in his P.O.V, but for us we know that Kisaki told Hanma to call him), like hello Kazu go and stab Baji he's acting kinda sus, ain't no way this how it went, Kazu is mentally instable but not an idiot to just casually think "yeah kinda sus, i'm taking him out of this world". We're not playing Among us
3- Hanma is not dump despite of doing dump stuff, so he knew what to say mire than that Kisaki gave a skript to say (he can't anyway). I don't think that the matter is that Kazu made Hanma his very bestfriend that he loves so much more than that he played perfectly with what he belives without doing that directly
I hope i won't get slabbed with some facts that will destroy all of this, just throw them on me i'm fine with it
You see i think what happened was a mix of Hanma befriending Kazutora when he didn't really have anyone else (Baji being the only one and he must've still been in toman when Kazutora first got out) and Hanma just constantly putting doubts into Kazutora's head about Baji. I mean we don't really get to see them together too much but from what we can see Kazutora seemed to trust Hanma and value his opinion a lot, asking for it occasionally
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We also see Hanma asking for Kazutora's opinion in relation to Baji too. Probably his way of seeing how loyal Kazutora is towards Baji as well showing Kazutora that he wants his opinion too, making Kazutora feel included.
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We also know they bonded enough for Hanma to visit Kazutora's House, with the translation from this official out where Kazutora's mother says a boy with scribbles on his hands is here to see him.
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And what if I think was the final and likely the biggest part of them bonding is this moment. The moment where Hanma gets Draken out of the way so Kazutora could get to Mikey. It just enforces this idea in Kazutora's head that Hanma is on his side and doing what Kazutora wants.
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But anyway Hanma's the first one to mention the possibility of Baji being a spy, the first one we see who plants that doubt into Kazutora's head.
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What's even more interesting though is how Kazutora responds, notice how he doesn't deny it or say there's no way Baji would do that. Instead he entertains the idea.
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Now I think a big part of this also has to do with Kazutora's childhood and how he was betrayed by his first friend, Junpeke. And also how he blames Mikey, another one of his close friends for what happened to him. It only makes sense that he would have this fear of his friends turning against him or abandoning him. A fear that was likely always in the back of his head, one that Hanma (and by extension Kisaki) played on and used.
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So when he got that phone call, when he heard those words about how Baji is a traitor it was probably his worst fears come true. Something he'd thought about, something this guy who he's come to trust has warned him about, something he didn't want to believe but couldn't deny the "evidence" he was seeing. And so he followed Hanma's advice, his own philosophy of killing ones enemy.
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I think that haunting look that we see right after is the shock. Kazutora attacked Baji very quickly, I don't think he had time to fully think his actions through. He heard Baji was a traitor and let his emotions and adrenaline take over.
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And then after that when Kazutora is threatening Mikey and acting totally fine I'm pretty sure that's him doubling down on what he did and acting like he had to/ that was the right thing, basically justifying his own actions (similar to what he did with Shinichiro). The only thing that makes him realise he was wrong was Baji's final words/ Takemichi's speech.
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