#anyways i’m logging out for today

[crybaby-bkg]

for the past couple of months I’ve found myself to be so like anxious and depressed whenever I log on here and I couldn’t figure out why??? like when I was getting a lot of interaction and attention it stressed me out and now that I don’t get as much it fucks w my mental but then I realized. I’m simply just pmsing. and what SUCKS is that I pms for a full like two weeks so half of the month I’m like “why do I even bother on here. what’s the point. I’m talking to the void constantly. I need attention but I can’t ASK????” and it’s simply. the PMDD. the Prozac hasn’t kicked in yet, I fear.

#this is torture #and omg my co star today was like #you’re creating distance betwee yourself and others and they don’t wanna keep crossing it to talk to you #OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT #and it makes so much sense omg I get so scared of reaching out to people #cause I think that THEY think I’m annoying or don’t wanna be bothered #and sometimes I genuinely just don’t know what to say #and I feel so isolated but I’m doing it to myself 😔 #anyway what I’m saying is. I want attention ALSJDKDJFJ #idk I just feel weird every time I come on here #I think I should take a break but it’s such routine for me to log on morning and night #that I would feel empty not doing it #bc I like reading and seeing you guys but I also think im not stable enough to not see my own stuff getting interaction #I’m just whining I’m sorry agskddhd #tw: vent #—in store chit chat! 🍫

[gale-in-space]

Honestly I think in another life I would have maybe tried my hand at engineering

#was talking with my partner about it today #i really loved building stuff 😭 i was obsessed with legos and blocks and lincoln logs #i loved figuring out how things worked #i took pens apart just to put them back together #i wanted to learn how to do woodworking lol #and then i took 3 years of it in middle school because it was required #the teacher was really aggressive though and he hated me so much because i was kind of slow and very shy #i think maybe that’s why i never. yeah #also okay i’m dumb as shit with math #you show me numbers and i will cry #stats are fun though but that’s not really math is it #also side note lol that teacher ended up getting arrested so. lmao #anyway. yeah #edit: OMG I JUST REMEMBERED #when i was in 5th grade we built houses with wires and batteries and lightbulbs and i fucking loved that #i was obsessed with lightbulbs??? i loved learning about all the parts #okay i’m shutting up now afhkl

[seventh-district]

oh my god i can’t decide what to do with my time today

#Seven.txt #writing stuff #video stuff #it’s Sunday so i need to log into Genshin and do my weeklies and i also need to grind for primos to yoink Yelan’s C1 before Tuesday #but i also need to record that so it’ll have to be done later once the house is quiet but i also need to record Lyney’s story quest but #then ​i also want to record Kaeya’s hangout but i also need to see what events are ending soon but i also need to do other non game stuff #like i need to finish going thru my backlog of likes on here and i need to answer asks and i need to work on drafted posts #and i have GOT to start working on ES Ch.4 to get that up by my self-imposed deadline soon but i’m recording that so i can only work on it #early in the mornings or late in the evenings but i also wanna finish this one-shot i’m working on for Dew and get it up on here soon #and that’s easier cause i’m not recording it but if i work on it today that’s not the best use of my time when it’s SUNDAY so it’s GENSHIN #DAY but i don’t FEEL like playing genshin rn i wanna WRITE ugh #but i’ve also got Ao3 comments awaiting a reply and i need to get a few things updated over there and i wanna work on This Is Unconditional #but i don’t have the TIME for that right now and i’ve got a bunch of messages that need replying to and a many hours of videos to edit #and i slept bad bc Nightmares so i just wanna eat and take a nap but that’s such a waste of time and uuuuugh idk man #So Many Creative Endeavors So Little Time #*collapses onto the floor in a frustrated heap* #okay. deep breath. i think. i’m gonna go work on banging out the rest of Hold On to Something bc that’s nearly fully written anyways #and i am Dying to get it out of my system bc Ghost Band fixation u know #i at least wanna get the draft done. i’ll edit/post it another day #then i’ll probably hop on genshin for a bit and do the bare minimum (i only need like 15 more pulls worth so even if i don’t grind and have #to swipe its nbd) and then i’ll hopefully be able to record the first writing session for ES ch.4 later this evening!!! #‘cause good god i wanna get that fic back into production. i miss working on it it’s just so hard to get started again #okay enough rambling. gonna go make Bullet’s lunch and get myself some lemonade. then i shall work

[deancaskiss]

i think today just told me everything I need to know. i won’t be writing longer fics again.

#shorter fics posted today have got literally more than 5x the kudos I got #literally such a failure #what a flop #i wish I hadn’t spent so long writing this fic honestly #it wasn’t worth it #wish I’d just written a 500 word fic because that’s all people care about #or amvs or art #all the attention went there #and I wasted days on end writing and not sleeping to get this fic posted today #i completely stopped studying even though my licensing exam is in 28 days #just so I could write this fic #i was feeling so confident and proud of this fic… and now I’m fighting the urge to delete the fic and delete my blog #also this is probably because of my depression episode that has been going on all week #I’ve been fighting the depression all week and I just don’t think I can do it anymore #sorry yall #this isn’t a pity party #I’m not looking for sympathy #just really struggling and I needed to write this out #anyway I’m logging off.

[neversetyoufree]

Mochijun’s posting art on Twitter again!

#I’m so mad. I deactivated my Twitter account bc I never ever use it #and didn’t want to contribute to Elon’s numbers #and literally the only reason I ever open Twitter is to look at Mochijun’s page. which I don’t actually need an account for #except APPARENTLY I do now #bc there’s suddenly a limit to how far down you can scroll on someone’s page while logged out?? #disgusting. #so anyway I had to deactivate just to scroll through today’s Mochijun tweets >:( #mochitwit #vnc

[mattodore]

logged in

#river dipping #time to reblog 🧑‍💻 #i ended up going to sleep like right after i logged out yesterday so i never did look at the pics i took but kdhdjfbjff #i don’t feel like doing any editing today anyway i’ve mostly just been reading and pre-grieving losing kendall roy </3 #i’m on my phone atm since i’m outside anyway so like. even if i wanted to edit i couldn’t ashdkdhdjf #but anyway. hi 🐊

[filmcel]

me wanting to buy the frankie doll as soon as i found out they were non-binary vs me wanting to buy the twyla doll as soon as i found out she was autistic…

#anyway i got her today :> #i’m literally in love… she is sooooo cute 😭😭😭😭 AAAGH! #she has horrible box hair tho 💀💀💀 i tried washing it and stuff but i don’t think it’ll fry good #i love her anyway idec… #I STILL NEED CLAWDEEN AAACK! #i will get the cheaper clawdeen… AND THE ONE WHERE SHES WEARING A SUIT #idk what the lines called but it has yet to come out #captain’s log

[swiss-army-fangirl]

tw discussion of school shootings in the tags

#absolutely beyond pissed that people’s ‘solution’ is to hire armed guards for schools #do you have ANY idea how fucking BULLSHIT that is? #it’s a fucking SCHOOL. NOT A BANK. NOT A MILITARY INSTALLATION. A FUCKING *SCHOOL* #how about instead of ‘teaching principals to shoot’ and ‘allowing teachers to conceal carry’ #BOTH of which make them targets to gunmen and open up the possibility of accidents or worse #WE. FUCKING. REGULATE. GUNS #i should NOT just be able to WALK INTO A WALMART lay down $1k and buy a MILITARY GRADE WEAPON #how the fuck is that even acceptable in the first place??? doesn’t that sound fucking insane??? #‘it would be so much to regulate’ that never stops the government from making other people walk through an ASININE amount of hoops to #LIVE IN THE US #IT TAKES DOCUMENTED WORKERS +10 PLUS YEARS TO GET A VISA. I COULD HIT POST AND DRIVE TO WALMART #FIFTEEN MINUTES FROM MY HOUSE. AND BUY A GUN #i don’t have the words for how SHIT i felt when i couldn’t even feel SAD finding out there was a shooting today #of course i grieve for those kids and their families. and the adults and THEIR families #but i remember when BEING in school and hearing about this would set me on edge for weeks #i at one point in college legitimately feared for my life bc i knew a guy who Could Create A situation like that and knew i’d be a target #it’s fucking sick. it’s absolutely fucking sick that people have grown numb to this. to CHILDREN. DYING. in a place that they’re supposed #to feel safe #i fucking hate it here. i’m so sick of how completely ass backwards this country is and how there’s no desire to correct it. #nothing fucking constructive i can do about it either. besides log off. which i’ll do anyways. #if you made it this far you’re a real one. #veenty deeby

[flamingostalker]

One mental health day a month isn’t like…unreasonable right?

#personal #like the timing is bad bcuz we just had 3 day weekend and I’d be taking another #and I just took a friday off 3 weeks ago #but like…i been havin night terrors I been tummy sick every day this week #idk what’s going on I’m just having one of those days where I try to get up and pulled right back to bed. petrified. fear. #u kno how it is🤪 #but there’s nothing going on at work today there’s nobody to really see it’s mostly a planning day #so I think an unpaid day when they don’t really care about my attendance anyway is okay but still idk feels weird to take time off #like ‘oh no THIS is the time they’re gonna fire me’ but it’s not but maybe it is #idk fuvk this I’m goin back to bed idc idc idc #Kubrick staring kids and scrolling my phone on breaks isn’t gonna do much good #AND IM SO LUCKY THAT IM ABLE TO DO THAT I’m SO lucky I’m able to just take the day #even tho it’s unpaid I’m not gonna get in trouble for it I’m so fuvking lucky I can do that #…hm guilt spiral in the notes you know what I’m gonna log out and go back to sleep gn

[hi-my-name-is-dotdotdot]

why do (some) college apps ask for your gender and sexual identity complete with pronouns

like shove off you’re not getting to know me beyond my essays but also the inclusivity feels nice and almost makes me wanna answer

(they’re not required to answer though and I doubt if it has anything to do with the actual decision)

and why oh why oh why am I having second thoughts about (mentally, because as I said, they ain’t gettin’ any extra info) picking “woman”

I thought I had myself figured out! and I’m tired of 1am realizations!

#seriously though why can’t I let myself think about things when I’m not supposed to be asleep #and like. I’ve had Gender Thoughts before but I’d settled on ‘I like being a girl just not a very feminine one’ #but it *seems* that my brain no longer agrees with that #anyways um discord fam I’m prolly gonna be asking y’all to pronoun check me at some point #also back to college apps asking: if I was cishet I’d fill it out without hesitation because like. that’s what they’d assume anyways so it’s #not actually giving any information #but it’s not so every time I come to it and just. stop. and for some reason (aka it’s 1am) the uneasiness just hit HARD today #personal log #stardate 2209.6 #college app era of my life ✌️

[el-im]

nico called today and I told him it was a good thing he didn’t end up coming over bc I’m laid up in bed w a 104 degree fever and feeling like all hell and he was like. oh I’m so sorry to hear that. so when can I see you ?

#and I love him #captain's log #I’ve been sleeping in 1 hour intervals since 3 in the morning when I woke up and was in so much pain I couldn’t go back to sleep #so I took a shower and made some tea and soup then went back to bed #only to wake up an hour later and have to pee so I’d do that and make another cup of tea #and that happened over and over again until now which is 1:20 pm #and I’m dreading the nighttime because I know it’s going to get so much worse and I’ve already taken two showers today just to stand in hot #water for an exorbitant amount of time. and now I’m like. maybe I should take an epsom salt bath because I feel like I can’t fucking move #anyway ! mia—who got me sick in the first place—was good enough to go to the store and grab some orange juice and soup so I love her #and interestingly. what I really wanted to talk about #was the fact that in the weird intervals of hour-long stretches of sleep #i dreamed like 8 or 9 episodes of star trek strange new worlds #which. i have not seen an episode of. nor have I seen any of the short treks or discovery so I have no concept of who any of these fucking #characters are beyond what I’ve seen in gifs/a trailer or two #but they were weirdly detailed. #in one spock and hemmer (hemmler??) were competing in a chariot race #and their wheels were made out of warm colored crystal that was orange in the center and graduated into a pink quartz like color at the edge #and hemmer transfigured himself secretly into a serpent when they were riding their chariot next to another one #and he scared the shit out of the rider and they veered off course #at which point he was flung through the air and became himself again #in another one because he has psychic abilities #he had to sacrifice himself by connecting with the psychic creature that was controlling the ship #and only through entering that thing’s mind and destroying it from the inside out was the rest of the crew freed #this also had to do w the episode where they were all in like. fantasy gear and were being forced to act out one of the literary works (?) #of these higher dimensional beings ? Like puppets #*puppets #idk if that’s what was actually happening in the episode because again. i have not seen any snw #but he died basically at the end of that ep by infiltrating their mind and freeing everyone #so

[jmin]

had such an awful awful day I almost had a breakdown twice in the middle of a packed mall. now I have a headache and I can’t begin to comprehend how the greatest time of the year for me has become this

#I usually love christmas I can’t believe the people I’m supposed to love most in this life can make such an occasion so miserable #yesterday was so good too I went out with friends I felt so happy and so much love #and today was literally hell since morning #I think the only reason I didn’t actually breakdown was bc my body was so confused between the need to cry and the need to scream #in the fucking mall istfg I dissociated for a good minute there logged tf off #and I only ever dissociated like that once in my life and it was bad #anyways. I wish with all my heart I had never been born #l.txt

[iwantyoursexmp3]

until heaven is terrorising me being the only RR book in the 90s but only 1990/1991 because it’s just made me think of all the good songs from the 90s i would put in an RR soundtrack but i can’t bc they’re from 1992 and later 😭😭😭

#there’s an elusive RR book 4 set in the mid 90s #that only exists thru it’s conceptual soundtrack of fiona apple/the cranberries/elliott smith/savage garden/jeff buckley…… #LIKE I CAN HEAR IT….. #if I did something with that it’d have to go up to 1997 felix and dorothy would be 33 lol #which is so fine i just wonder if I’m gonna hit my 30s and suddenly it clicks #bc RR clicks because I am also in my early/nearly my mid 20s #oh god I’m near my mid 20s when did that happen?? anyway #one silly thing about me is my stories are treated like snapshots of characters lives and I always extend beyond that for funsies #i know what felix and dorothy and beau and jolie etc would be like today as ppl in their fifties bc im autistic #anyway early RR imaginations had felix having children by 1997 LOLLLL #in my head rn felix and dorothy having two novels makes sense so until heaven would be the end of their arc #but I’m soooo temptedddddd it’s just out of reach #if I make it to my 30s im celebrating by creating RR book 4 #will felix be a father like 20 year old me planned? find out in 7 years #anyway I’m blogging to put off making food LOL logging off

[beiasluv]

gala shenanigans | o. piastri (81)

a/n: bork bork bork bork HAVE YOU SEEN LILY??? WOW. MOTHER.

yourinsta

liked by landonorris, logansargeant and 701,181 others

yourinsta ROOKIE OF THE YEAR‼️‼️‼️‼️😝

view all 172,082 comments

oscarpiastri ❤️❤️❤️

username THE MOST EXPRESSION OSCAR EVER HAD ONLINE

username so you don’t have twitter…

username okay? three hearts. THATS THREE RED MF HEARTS

landonorris new mclaren instagram???

mclaren 😔

username NOT YN BEING MORE EXCITED FHAN MCLAREN THEMSELF

username THIS. THIS IS RHE PICTURE.

username yn gets it.

username PERIODDDD

username EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU MISS GURL

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username OM WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT.

username A 100 PERCENT 😭

yourinsta’s story

reply

landonorris: are you drunk???

: im noy

landonorris: OMG?

landonorris: I’m buying drinks for both of you from now on

: BET

: thid is os, were nof. Get awsy

oscarpiastri

liked by landonorris, georgerussell63 and 816,017 others

oscarpiastri can you hold me like you hold your trophy? yourinsta 😋

view all 361,711 comments

yourinsta HE POSTED ME!!? 😍

oscarpiastri SHE REPLIED? 😉

username oscar in his FANGIRL ERAAAA

username he has always been. fight me 🤭

logansargeant do me a favor and log off

yourinsta YOU logg offt

landonorris WHY IS ZAK TEXTING ME

mclaren WE JUST WANT TO TALK

georgerussell63 Toto’s calling

oscarpiastri me or my wife

yourinsta HE MY HUSBAND????

georgerussell63 Blimey.

username I WANNA THANK WHO EVER THE FUCK WAS ON THAY TABLE AND GOT THEM DRUNK ASF

username I lowkey don’t want it to be checo cause I cannot be caught lacking and liking him 😔😔✊

username it’s definitely the fia.

username GURL FR

username MCLAREN AND MERCEDES ARE LVOING AND SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF THE PR

yourinsta

liked by francisca.cgomes, lilymhe and 651,280 others

yourinsta who was that girl last night? 😭😔

view all 132,916 comments

oscarpiastri idk but I’d like to take her home again

yourinsta OMG?? 🫠

username so THIS is oscar. 🫢

mclaren we still love you ynn 🧡🧡

yourinsta send my apologies 😭😭😭😔

useraname NOT THE WAGS SUPPORTING THE ULTIMATE GIRLS GIRL

username as they shouldddd

oscar’s my pookie and he deservedddd

interacting anyway would be greatly appreciated cuz I love y'all 🫢

today’s a great day to take care of yourself!!

#imagines #formula 1 #f1 imagines #f1 x reader #f1 #f1 fanfic #charles leclerc imagines #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #oscar piastri smau #oscar piastri imagines #oscar piastri fanfic #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri #mclaren #mercedes #formula 1 smau #formula 1 imagines #formula one #f1 fic #fanfiction