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#anyways i remember looking up the song after that because i liked it but that was all
stars4chratt · 12 hours
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Subconscious
Pairing: Matt x fem!reader
Warnings: Again, smut / use of drugs / confessing / cocky to sub!Matt / softdom!reader / high sex (i do not condone this in any way guys, just a fair warning) / praise / stoner!Matt / grinding / handjob / vanilla(ish) / mommy kink / pet names (sweetheart, princess, mommy, etc etc) / a trip (no pun) / aftercare / a lot of swearing
Summary: The reader and Matt have been the best of friends ever since they were eleven. As they got older, the more vulnerable they were to alcohol and drugs. Matt would always be by her side getting high and drunk at desolate and abandoned parks, or maybe even in Matt’s room. Matt and the reader agreed to only stick to natural stuff like weed. But now, they’re taking it up a notch by taking a round and earthy psychedelic.
Author’s Note: stoner Matt > as i’m writing this i have Matt’s recorded twitch streams playing in the back. MY BAD I KEEP ADDING THE SWEETHEART PET NAME WITH MATT I JS LOVE IT SM ESP AFTER THE BAGS TT. Anyways, this wasn’t requested or anything this is something i just really wanted to write because i love it when there's a best friend trope weaved in <3 HOPE YOU ENJOYYYY. From Maxine, with love ♡.
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“Are we still friends? Can we be friends?” - ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?, TYLER THE CREATOR
╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗
Matt has always had an obsession with spirituality and the 60s. From the posters of Jimi Hendrix on his walls, to the deluxe edition Beatles vinyl records that sit alongside the vintage record player on his hardwood dresser.
Ever since Matt’s dad bought a collection of thrifted CDs for his car when he was only a toddler, he fell in love with psychedelic rock and the whole new era of love and peace and tranquil that came around in the mid to late 20th century.
Whenever he isn’t in his cramped and maximalist abode smoking bubba kush, he’s out going to underground stores which sell abstract and kaleidoscopic clothes and fashion statements in general.
The vibrant colours and the political mindsets and the pure lack of fucks to give during the time period has Matt enamoured. Calling him a big fan would be putting it extremely lightly.
You and Matt first met in 6th grade of middle school. From what you can remember, you were sitting next to him.
He was laser focused on his assignment with big and obvious headphones clasped onto his head.
Bobbing his head slowly to the smooth and flowy melodies, you pat him on the shoulder.
He turns his head and immediately pulls the headphones to the side so one of his ears perks out.
“What music are you listenin’ to?” Matt instantly thinks you’re about to ridicule him. He, for some odd reason, has always been the victim of mockery. You never understood why, he’s such a cool and chilled out kid.
“O-oh…um…” Matt stutters nervously. He was truly unsure of what to say or do in this situation. You could feel the fight or flight trigger in his hard gaze.
“Gimme the headphones! I wanna listen.” Exclaiming with an odd sense of compassion. Matt furrows his eyebrows and looks at you funny but still gives you his headphones anyway.
You whiz the headphones around your ears and onto your head. The hallucinatory notes mixing with the light and staticky voices put you in a heavy but pleasing trance.
You feel a big smile wipe across your face clean as you look back at Matt staring at you impatiently. Silently telling you ‘give me my headphones back, you weirdo.’
“This is so cool! What’s the song called?” You speak enthusiastically, still with a big grin on your profile.
Matt’s eyes light up slightly at you. You can’t tell if it’s because he’s shocked at your interest in this type of thing or because he was alarmed by how bubbly and enthusiastic you are.
“Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds… It’s by the Beatles.” He drawls out, now looking down at the floor and fidgeting with his fingers.
“Siiiiiick. Are there any more songs like this one?” You hand him back his headphones, you start to rock in your chair in anticipation and out of looking for something to do now that you don’t have the sensory fulfilment that is Matt’s music taste.
“Oh of course. They’re a band with a bunch of other songs and albums, kid.” Matt calling you kid after almost instantaneously sparking an acquaintance with you makes you giggle to yourself. What a funny nickname for someone you just met.
“Well, can you show me them? Pretty please?” You utter with an exaggerated pout on your lips as you flutter your eyelashes at him. You intertwine your hands and rest them at the side of your face to hyperbolise the sad puppy look, making Matt chuckle lightly.
“Fine…there are many other bands like them, y’know.”
“Show me those ones too!” Yelling down his ear with eagerness, he flinches at your noisiness and covers his ear you just bellowed in.
“Ugh.” He scoffs in annoyance, whilst you’re sitting across him with the biggest twinkle in your eye.
“Yay! Thank youuuuu.” Your genuine excitement makes his face flush into a deep maroon. He turns his head around in embarrassment, trying not to maintain eye contact.
“Yeah whatever, kid.”
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
NINE YEARS LATER
“Wanna try it?”
What Matt has in his hands is a vacuum sealed metallic bag. You could not make out what it is but you knew for sure it was some kind of drug.
“What the fuck is it? I thought we made an agreement that we weren’t gonna do chemical shit. Y’know how I feel about that.” You scrunch your nose in both confusion and disgust. Yet you were still curious as to what Matt was holding in his hand.
“Kid, have you never heard of magic mushrooms before? Jesus, for someone who smokes a fuck ton of wedding cake, you seem to have no clue what these boomers are.”
“I do know what a fucking magic mushroom is, Matt. I just didn’t want it to be a bag of heroin or some shit like that.” Your legs cross whilst you look at him through your eyelashes. You’re genuinely hesitant since you’ve never tried a mushroom before. Yeah, you smoked weed. But this is a whole different thing. This is a literal psychedelic.
“Heroin at mass is sold in baggies or balloons, stupid.” He chortles. “As I was saying, are you gonna try it with me or nah?” He chucks the small pouch at you. 
There’s a small plastic window where you can see the muddy fungi inside. You cringe in distaste, you wonder to yourself where the fuck he got them from. Incredibly skittish, you want to back out. But curiosity and temptation is killing you at the same time.
“I don’t think I wanna try this Matt. It seems stupid.” You scoff. Matt smirks down at you and grabs the bag again.
“Don’t knock it ‘till you try it, kid. It’s just mushrooms, you’re not gonna die.” He waves the sealed bag tantalisingly around your face.
“Fine, fine whatever.” You give him the bird and suck your teeth. He chuckles like a little child at your offensive remarks. He offers you the bag again.
“Ladies first.” He remarks cunningly.
You break open the packet and receive a heavy waft of dirt. You turn your head the other way immediately as a natural reaction. The strong scent makes your face almost turn inside out in repulsion.
“You’re so dramatic.” Matt smirks. You turn back at him with a mean glare.
“You sniff it, then. ‘Cuz you’re soooo tough.” You jitter mockingly right up in his face. Dragging your hand right under his nostrils for him to get a whiff. His eyebrows knit close together and screw his eyes shut.
“Who’s dramatic now? Hm?” Your teasing rhetoric strikes one of his nerves. He immediately plunges his hand in the bag and takes the squishy piece of matter.
“Hey hey, slow down. Let me get one out.” You yell out at him in shock at his lack of hesitancy. He rolls his eyes with impatience while your shivering hand places itself into the plastic bag to pick one out.
“Oh yeah, just so y’know, this could last up to 5 hours.” Matt states super casually. Your eyebrows raise as you look back up at him. You’re not all that surprised though. What were you expecting? It's not plain jane weed, it’s mushrooms.
“I don’t give a fuck anymore, let’s just get this over with.” 
Soon after you said that, you both hastily gulped the abnormal saprophyte down. Both of your faces contort at the peculiar taste and texture.
“Eurgh… that was the worst.” You gag at the displeasure going down your throat and into your digestive system.
“Yeah, this is a one time thing for sure.” Matt affirms with a deep frown. He turns to his queen sized bed with silk sheets and plops down next to you.
“When will these hit?” You quiz him curiously. Tangling and playing with the strands of your hair out of a way to distract yourself from what you just did.
“It's the same principle as an edible, it’ll take a while to hit. So don’t take another one.” He mumbles inconspicuously since his face is half smushed into his soft mattress.
“Shall we smoke some weed while we wait?”
“No, dude. We’d literally die. Let’s not fuckin’ kill ourselves from severe psychosis tonight, yeah?” 
You smile at his stupid banter. It’s what made Matt so appealing to you. His dry humour alongside his ridiculous behaviour when you’re both stoned as shit is like taking a breath of fresh air. Knowing each other for almost ten years and you two still never get tired of each other. Constantly hanging out, doing stupid and reckless shit ever since you two were tweens. True best friends.
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
A while has passed, and the both of you are so far out of your heads. Every single time you turn to look at each other, the more distorted everything gets. You see things you don’t actually see, you hear things you don’t actually hear, you smell things you don’t actually smell. The tie dye-like swirls on Matt’s tapestries that hang proud on his walls disfigure and circle around putting you under a strict hypnosis.
“Holy shit…” Matt’s voice rattles through your cochleas, making your head sting from the blare. You move around to see him while your vision oversaturates and wiggles with no rhythm or control. 
“W-what is going on…” The bare echoes of your voice tingles your senses. The soft scent of Matt’s white musk incense blazing in the background fills the crevices of your nostrils and massages your brain, it was the only thing soothing you from the extremity of the situation.
“Matt…I’m scared…What the fuck is going on.” Abruptly, the effects on your voice quickly transitions into a thick static. The sensory overload inflicts the both of you. You feel incredibly overwhelmed and almost spiral into a state of panic.
“I’m here, I promise.” Matt mutters under his breath. His clammy hands take a hold of your wrist firmly. You look up at him to see his pupils viciously dilated while finding it hard to breathe.
“I’m so scared.” You shudder. Pure anxiety soaks you up but is squeezed back out when Matt moves your head to rest on his shoulder. He tilts his head so it lays on top of yours.
“It’s going to be okay, sweetheart. I promise.” Your heartbeat pounds rapidly. You don’t say or do anything both because you’re way too high as well as wanting to savour this moment since you purely assume this will never happen ever again.
Why is Matt being so soft with you? Ever since you two first met, he’s never been the type to call you these names.
“From now on. Weed n’ fuckin’ weed only.” You demand in a serious manner. Matt sighs out a laugh while he strokes your hair in reassurance. “Of course… p-princess.”
You purse your lips as a way to try and hide the excitement from Matt calling you these sudden names. A million thoughts come racing through your mind all at once. You’ve gotten both high and drunk with Matt on several occasions. Are the mushrooms that strong?
Your vision is still eradicated and infused with neon reds and pinks. You want to close your eyes but when you’re in pitch black darkness, the patterns become more prominent and it freaks you out to an extreme.
You hear Matt whisper delicately which makes your ears perk up indefinitely. You twist your neck to look up at him for his gaze to meet yours. His mouth hangs slightly open with his pupils large and his eyebags hang low across his defined cheekbones.
“l-like…you..” He sputters out. He sounds like he has no more control left in the muscles of his face any more. Jesus christ, this shit is strong. 
“...huh…” Rebound of the vowels smushed on your tongue and teeth is elevated by the effects of the drug. Both you and Matt are incredibly discombobulated. You raise yourself from underneath Matt’s figure for you to try your absolute best to attempt to understand what he just said.
Matt’s now looking up at you through the locks of hair that drape over his low and inflamed eyes.
“I really…really like you… like, ‘ver since… I-I got to know you better in 6th grade…I now have a decent excuse for why I’m telling you this... I’m fucking tripping balls.” He laughs it off as if he didn’t just confess his feelings to you off the rip right in front of you, face to face.
You just sit there gazing down at him bewildered with your mouth agape. He clenches his lips shut and frowns slightly, averting his gaze down to the bed in regret of just blurting that out.
“Matt…w-what the fuck…” Immediately after you utter this question, Matt slaps his hand over his mouth and starts to slightly curl himself up into a little ball like a shrivelled raisin. 
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry I-I ruined the experience… I thought you felt the same way and I was thinking too quickly ahead of myself I-I’m really sorry-”
You pat both of Matt’s shoulders and force his head up to look at you.
“Matt, I-It’s okay… I promise you. I-I feel the same. I know we’re both high as fuck right now, but I know for sure t-that I’m telling the truth. I really like you, Matt.”
His body loosens underneath you in reaction to your words. Your thumb rubs softly over his defined cheekbones. The frown on his face turned upside down completely into a large smile. 
Your big and swollen pupils squint down at him. His heavy breaths, his cherry pink lips resting lazily and hanging slightly open, and his frizzy  and dishevelled hair that drapes gracefully over his droopy eyes.
Everything about him, the whole sight of him makes you soaked at your core.
Your thighs clench together in desperation and you grit down onto your bottom lip intensely. The flesh of your hand is still resting on Matt’s face. You can feel the pricklyness of his stubble on your very fingertips.
The two of you just stare at each other, admiring every little thing about one another. In a comfortable but loud silence. The effects of the drug are still sharp around the edge, jabbing and stabbing both of your 5 main senses.
You feel your body start to give in and fall forward into Matt. Your forehead clashes with his. Your large breaths blend together.
Abruptly, he tilts his head up. His lips just graze against yours. You can tell he’s desperate with his eyes full to the brim with lust and eroticism. You pull away lightly with a smirk on your face whilst Matt writhes and squirms. He tries to follow your head so he can make contact with your mouth. He really wants to kiss you.
Seeing him this vulnerable makes you melt. What once was a bad-mouthing, cocky and smug little shit who smoked with you every week was now gone. He’s now tripping on mushrooms underneath you with a throbbing semi.
You manoeuvre yourself over so both of your legs are spread on top of him. You’re in a cowgirl position, with Matt. 
His prick pulses harshly beneath your heat. The only thing stopping the contact between the two of you are your clothes. Matt’s now fully hard, to the point where his dick has developed a tent in his harem pants. 
You start to sway your hips back and forth. Matt’s head flips back fully and his mouth hangs open. His Adam's apple is fully revealed and bobs up and down marginally. His hefty breathing now transitioned into hot and rowdy moans and whimpers.
“Look at me baby, look at me while I grind on your cock.” You finally spoke, after there was nothing but whines and sobs filling the air.
“Y-yes mommy…” You sigh out a sharp laugh. Knowing your arrogant friend who’s always causing a riot with alcohol and dope is now rock hard thanks to you, moaning and whining into your ear like a little bitch fills you with an overwhelming sense of fulfilment.
“Yeah that’s right, be a good boy for me. Keep calling me mommy.” You feel as though you could do anything to him right this second. You had all of the power and control over Matt. Your teeth grit together and the smirk on your face largens.
“You make me feel so good, Mommy. Y-you’re gonna make me cum…” The words come spilling out of his mouth like calm waves of the ocean. What used to be the intense sound of his voice from the drugs now turned silky smooth from the euphoria spooling out from your sensitive nerves.
You stop rocking your hips on top of his cock. Matt looks up at you with his bottom lip concealed fully inside his mouth by his teeth. 
“Take your pants off baby, lemme make you cum properly.” You command him pompously. Immediately, he speedily grasps at his waist band and tugs it down his thighs.
His cock bounces out of the loose fabric. The tip was swollen and pink with precum dripping out thickly. The rhythm of his breath matched with the harsh trembling of blood flow to his dick. 
“Jesus Christ… and I barely did anything to you, not yet anyway.” You tease. Matt’s face jams up with impatience and knuckles his hands into his vibrant sheets.
“P-please just touch me. I really wanna cum mommy.” He pleads eagerly. His eyebrows furrowed deeply into his skin and his face splashed apricot pink. His whole body shivers. Anticipating heavily for your skin to press into his.
You reach out your hand and wrap it loosely around his large and thick cock. You slither down his shaft slowly in a jesting manner. You leer up at Matt to see him gaping down at you, panting stiffly.
Your pace on his dick starts to quicken. Your fingers clench tightly around him making him jolt up into your hand.
Matt loses all control within himself and starts to thrust up and down hastily. Practically fucking your hand. You push him down with your other palm and hold him into place. You shoot him a mean stare as he gulps down what was left of his pride.
“Don’t move.” The stern tone infused in your voice makes Matt quiver. He tugs at the collar of his shirt and pulls it up his face to conceal his severe embarrassment.
What’s happening right now tells you one thing that you never would’ve thought would be the case. Matt loves being controlled. He admires the idea of being dominated. And you are contributing to that fantasy.
The pad of your index and middle finger press onto his fleshy, rosy-red tip faintly. A choked up whine crawls out of his throat and his legs rise upwards but your weight stops them.
“M-mommy… please don't stop... I’m gonna cum.”
“Do it baby. Don’t be shy. Be a good boy for mommy and cum.” You start to go faster and more harsh on his sensitive tip. Matt’s entire body shakes and his hips buck and lock into place.
“Cumming mommy, c-cumming...”
His tip suddenly spurts out long thick strings of his load. Onto your face, your hand, your clothes, your chest, everywhere. Every single time a white rope would come spilling out of his prick, an intense shiver would shoot through his body and his shirt is now crumpled into its original place.
He gasps intimately while you sit there with his seed still dripping down your face. 
Matt’s eyes suddenly widen and he raises his entire figure in a panic to grab the box of tissues on his bedside table.
“No no, don’t worry. I got it.” You disclose to him delicately. You tug out a few sheets of tissue and wipe at his skin from the waist below.
“I’m sorry for making such a mess… I didn’t think it would be that bad.” Matt utters sorrowfully. He pulls his pants back up and you grab more tissues.
He takes hold of your wrist to take the tissues from you. He places his thumb onto your chin to position you as he folds the tissues.
“It’s fine Matt, I enjoyed it. A lot, actually.” You grin compassionately as Matt swipes at your face with the tissues.
“I think that’s the first and last time we’re ever gonna do mushrooms, though.” He snickers, crumpling the dirty tissues and chucking them into the bin lying at the side of the bed.
“Yeah, one time thing.” You rest your head on his stomach, you rise and fall with his breathing.
"Can I braid your hair?" Matt casually inquires. "I have a bunch of charms and hair ties."
You beam a smile from ear to him, your face fills up with a cherry blossom pink.
"Yeah, of course Matt."
╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝
Author’s Note No.2: I think this will most definitely have a part 2. I have no complaints with making a series, if you haven’t already noticed with me always bringing up pins n’ needles. This took me a while to write because I’ve been busy with exams and social life. But I finally completed one after 2 weeks!!! Yayyy!! ‘Till next time, pooks.
༝༚༝༚, Maxine.
Taglist: @gamermattsgf @luverboychris @worldlxvlys @chrissystur @chaosisalwayscrying @bellasfavbisexual @luvmxtt @tillies33ssss @breeloveschris
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seunmong-in · 2 days
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•Midnight sessions & Love Confessions🌙🤍•
Genre: Fluff, best friends to lovers, flirting, slight sass on Chan’s part, cursing (very minimal) Idol!HanxReader 
Words: 1.6K
A/N: This is my first time writing again in almost 5 years... Hopefully, you guys enjoyed this as much as I did!! If you guys want to see more of this please reblog/like the post or if you have any feedback please DM me!!
⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*
“Okay Y/N, that was good but do you think you can sound like you're actually in love? You know, like how you are in love with Jisung.”
You glare at Chan while you mouth the words “Fuck you” to him. As Chan and Binnie start laughing at you as you simply roll your eyes. The boys have been teasing you about your crush on Jisung, the other 1/3 of the 3racha, for a while now. They accidentally found out about your feelings for him a few months ago during one of your usual movie nights at your place. Since then, they have been either making jokes or pushing you to confess your feelings to him. However, you have always refused, thinking that he doesn't feel the same way and you didn’t want to jeopardize your friendship with him. After all, Jisung has been your best friend for years and you both have been inseparable since you debuted together. You walk out of the booth frustrated and sat on the couch. Chan and Binnie at the same time turned their chairs around to face you. It was already 12:30 AM and you were exhausted.
“Why can’t you give this part to Lee Know or Seungmin, they can sing this better than I can anyway,” you say stubbornly, closing your eyes for a few seconds.
"Because I had you in mind to sing the girl's response to this love song, Y/n. Plus, Bin and I have been wanting you to sing this for the past year now. We've even discussed having you as our featured artist for this album so you really can't back out now princess," Chan responded with a smile.
You couldn't really argue with Chan about this because he brings up a good point. You and the boys have been begging management for a song collaboration for years, and as soon as they agreed, you all teased the collaboration to your respective fanbases. Scrapping it now would be a waste of time and bad from a publicity standpoint. Knowing you had no way out of this session for at least tonight, you groaned as you stood up back up from the couch and walked back into the booth, grabbing on the headphones that rested on the mic. Once you had the headphones situated properly and the lyrics in front of you, you look at Binnie for the next instructions.
“Okay Y/n, start from the top of the second verse until you reach the bridge. Remember, try to sing this as if you're falling in love. Put lots of emotion into this bunny,”
You nod while Chan signals to Binnie to hit the record button. The instrumentals start playing as you take a deep breath, closing your eyes, and trying to mimic the feeling of being in love. Instantly, you pictured Jisung in front of you, smiling ear to ear as he cheers you on from the other side. You couldn’t help but crack open a soft smile as memories of the two of you played in your mind. You start to recall all the times he saved you from bad blind dates and all the all-nighters you both would pull just because you both got heavily attached to some anime series that was 10 years old. You continued to sing into the mic, putting all the emotions you were feeling into it and not missing a beat. This was something you didn’t do in your first couple of recordings. You were so deep into your feelings, channeling that feeling of being in love, that you didn’t even realize you were hitting all of the high notes in the bridge that Chan originally took out because you couldn’t hit them. Once the music starts to fade away, the memories of Jisung and you fade away too. You slowly open your eyes to see not only Chris and Binnie smiling at you, but Jisung was also in the room, staring at you in amazement. He pushes Chris over to the side and speaks into the mic. 
“Damn Y/n that was absolutely fucking amazing!! Who knew you had that in you, Angel.” 
Angel... He just called you angel. He’s only ever called you Bubba or Bubbles but never Angel... You feel your face turning red as you quickly put the headphones back down on the mic and walk out of the booth.
Ignoring that you are blushing over this new nickname, Jisung attacks you in a hug as he whispers in your ear about how beautiful you sounded in your recording. When did Ji sneak in? Did the boys text him to come sit in as you sang? Did he see you blush when he called you angel? You were so deep into thought trying to figure out what just happened, that you didn’t hear Chan talking to you.
“Earth to Y/nnnn, did you hear anything I just said.”
“Huh, no sorry what did you say Channie?” You let go of Jisung's embrace, and as you turn to face Chan, you see him smirking. Unlike Jisung, he could tell you were clearly blushing over the compliments you were receiving.
“I said I think we finally got our take. If you want, you can go home for the night since I know it’s getting late, and we can play it back first thing in the morning for you.”
Sighing in relief, you agree while you pack up your things. You thank the boys for having to spend/ deal with you the last few hours, telling them you will see them in the morning, and start to walk out of the room when Jisung stops you. 
“Y/n wait up!” He grabs you by the arm, spinning you around. 
“Here let me take you home, it’s late and cold out.”
“Oh Ji, I don’t want to bother you with that! I was planning to Uber home anyway.”
“Well, luckily you aren’t bothering me with asking since I am also the one offering. Plus it is my civil duty as your best friend, so I am taking you home and that's final. Now come on, Angel.”
He interlocks his hand into yours as you both walk out of the company building and go to his car. You couldn’t help but look down as you try to contain your smile though this is something the both of you usually do consistently. Jisung walks up to the passenger's side of his car and opens it for you, bowing down and signaling for you to hop in. You giggle at his silly gesture as you playfully curtsey back to him and get in. It’s moments like these you can’t help but fall more in love with him. He closes your door and quickly runs over to his side of the car, turning it on. He puts on some random playlist and he puts the car in drive. 
“Alrighty, off to your house.”
⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*
After 10 minutes of listening to music in silence, you finally arrived at your apartment building. You could see from above your sister’s lights were still on which means she was still up playing video games with Felix and I.N. As you turned to face Jisung, thanking him for the ride home, you noticed he was already facing you, softly smiling. 
"I know I said this earlier at the studio in front of the boys, but I really meant it when I said you really killed it with the song, Y/n. I can seriously listen to you sing all day." 
That compliment made your heart skip a beat. You couldn't believe what you just heard. Although you are very talented and often hear comments like that from fans, there was something different about hearing it come from Jisung. It made you feel all bubbly inside as if you had butterflies fluttering everywhere.
"I am being 100 percent honest, Y/n. Hearing you sing with such passion and emotion, I would be lying if I said I didn't fall in love with your voice. I mean, I am already in love wit--" Jisung stops speaking as he covers his mouth and quickly looks down.
You look at him, taking a moment to process what was just said. Han Jisung, your best friend and long-time crush, has unintentionally confessed his love for you. Now the car is now truly silent as the music stops playing. With some newfound confidence, you reach over and gently lift his chin. He looks at you with red cheeks, clearly embarrassed, and tries to avoid your eye contact. You couldn’t help but smile as you finally, say the words he's been longing to hear.
“I am in love with you too Ji.”
Jisung grabs your face and kisses you passionately, and within seconds, you feel a rush of sparks running through your body. It's the answer you've been waiting for after years of not knowing. As Jisung pulls away, he places his forehead against yours.
“I've been waiting to do that since we first met, Angel.”
“I’ve been waiting for the same thing Ji.” You smile at him as you kiss him again. 
After that night, the two of you officially became a couple. The boys were ecstatic to learn that you both had finally confessed your feelings to each other after almost a year of teasing. You also later find out that Jisung had actually written the song that had become a global #1 hit as a confession of his feelings towards you, not Chan and Binnie as you had initially thought.
So not only do you have the #1 love song trending worldwide, but you also got the best boyfriend by your side.
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tzoiiann · 3 days
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..𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄, 𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐑-𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖.
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⋆⭒˚.⋆ Dazai Osamu x Fem!Reader
synopsis: you and dazai always agreed on one thing; not to get feelings involved whenever you had your certain encounters. but, did you really keep your word?
tw: brief mentions of sex, friends with benefits, eventual fluff, dazai being down bad, non-sexual nudity, dazai being a boobs guy change my mind
notes: OMGOMGOMG FIRST FIC?!?! hope you enjoy reading it because i spent a lot of time on it </3
˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .      . ✦     ˚     . ★⋆. ࿐࿔
in your eyes, dazai osamu had always been a human riddle. what was really hidden behind that signature smirk he always flashed waitresses at cafes? what was his past like? just who was he? these questions would always remind you that you had half a mind about your little encounters with him. you knew for a fact that he worked as a detective in the armed detective agency, but what about in the past, how in the world did he make ends meet?
those exact thoughts were running through your head the moment you caught your breath after coming down from your high. you faced the ceiling with a blank stare, your eyes struggling to focus. taking one last breath, you turned to look at dazai who was surprisingly in the same state as you; his gaze hazy, his hair having turned into a complete mess from the intensity of it all and droplets of sweat running down his the side of temple and on the pillow. you silently stared at him, contemplating whether you should strike up a conversation or just wait for him to speak up himself. you decided on the former, the buzzing of your ears making the silence deafening.
“..uhm, are you alright? let me go get you a glass of water, or something.”—“hm? no need to ‘bella, ’m fine.” he let out a quiet giggle at that, his hand coming up and resting over his eyes as he let out a deep exhale. you merely blinked at him, unsure of what else to say, so you simply sat up on the bed, looking over to the pile of clothes left on the floor. you made an attempt to get up and gather your clothing when suddenly, you felt a hand wrap around your wrist and forcefully pull you towards its direction. you fell back on the bed with a grunt, looking over at dazai with a puzzled expression. his expression however, in contrast to yours, was nothing but innocent, seemingly harmless and only intended for good. but you knew for a fact that ‘dazai osamu’ and ‘good’ should never be in the same sentence. your eyes narrowed in suspicion, but quickly softened the moment you locked gazes. you noticed the afternoon sun casting upon his eyes, giving them the softest honey-like hue you’d ever seen in a person. your eyebrows furrowed as you kept looking at him dumbfounded, not realising you’d given him the most adorable look he’d seen in a while.
“what?” you spoke up, now genuinely confused on why he did that in the first place. his gaze shifted from yours, his eyes closing as he gave you that same signature smirk, however, this time, it was more genuine and soft. “i ripped your clothes off of you, ‘donna, what are you trynna’ retrieve?” you look at him blankly, your jaw dropping slightly as you did in fact remember him ripping your clothes to shreds in the heat of the moment, and due to his impatience. you let out a deep sigh, burying your face into your hands as you let out a loud groan. “are you fucking kidding me!? am i supposed to go out wearing what!- a cardboard box!?”—“don’t worry your pretty little head, just wear one of my shirts or somethin’. you’re tiny anyway, you’ll fit in it just fine~” he put on his sing-song voice for the last part, the same voice that made the corner of your eyes twitch every time he used it. you remained silent, maybe using his shirt as a makeshift dress wouldn’t be a bad idea right? right? “…” you blinked at him, exhaling through your nose “fine, whatever.” you got up from the bed, gathering your undergarments that were piled up on the floor, slipping them on quickly before walking over to the closet and opening. you glanced around it. finally, a white button-up shirt caught your interest. that could work, you thought, it was simple enough.
you put his shirt on, working your way up with the buttons. to no surprise, it was painfully oversized. the bottom of the shirt reached in between your upper and mid thigh, and it hanged incredibly low on your collarbone. you let out a sigh before shifting it on your body a bit, letting it hang off one of your shoulders and call it a day. the sunlight of the midday was casting upon you, with the shirt being practically transparent every curve of your body could be seen clearly. yet, the highlight of it all was your perky nipples that poked oh so obviously through the white shirt. as you were caught up in your thoughts, you noticed that dazai had been quiet for a while now. wondering what in the world could he be plotting again, you turned around to face him. you were expecting to be met either with a smirk or a whistle from him, but to your surprise, you were met with a pair of big, brown eyes that were looking you up and down in an adoring way. your eyebrows furrowed at that, arms crossing as you stared back at him with a puzzled look.
“you’re staring.” you pointed out in a matter-of-fact tone, your eyes never leaving his as you waited for an explanation at last. dazai merely blinked at you, a small chuckle leaving him as he rolls his eyes in an exaggerated way. “no i’m not.” and as you expected, you were met with his signature smirk. nonetheless, this time it was more soft and raw, more genuine. you shook your head at that, too fed up with him lying straight into your face. “then your eyes are stuck, maybe you need a firm uppercut to recover.” you replied in a voice full of mockery, your eyes never leaving his. lastly, he let out the faintest of a scoff as she fully turned to face you, his gaze intense. “can’t help it, angel. you’re too pretty not to be stared at.”
you paused at that. sure, you were used to getting a few subtle compliments from him here and there, but being called pretty? your eyebrows furrowed significantly, your lips forming into a frown. a mere comment made it obvious that he was into you that way. you gulped and let out a small sigh. you froze even more the moment you remembered your agreement: just fuck buddies, no feelings involved. the agreement you had to painfully suck up and push your feelings away for just for his sake. you remained silent, the suffocating pressure on your chest becoming heavier by the second. no, this had to stop. morally, making love is done only in between lovers, thus the name. but you? you were not even close to being classified as it. each interaction with anyone would either be considered a relationship, a friendship or nothing. you were nothing. nothing to each other, nothing to the relationship. you were just a blank space floating around in a universe full of love. after gathering your thoughts, you decided to break the silence by finally speaking up, your voice shaky.
“no- shut up, shut the fuck up. we are not lovers, we are nothing. you have no right to call me pretty when i’m a borderline stranger to you. if you want us to be something, then it’s exclusively a relationship.” you saw his grin drop the moment you spoke in a firm voice. you took a moment to think before speaking up again. “i’m tired of this, dazai. i cannot handle just being manhandled like a ragdoll in a fucking sex position like it’s the only thing i’m good for. i don’t even remember the last time you said something nice to me for anything other than my appearance, like the supposed friend you are. maybe that’s all i am to you a domesticated whore.” you remained silent after that, nervously biting on your lip as you leaned your back against the closet door. you stared back into his now slightly widened eyes. you cursed yourself for the fluttering feeling in your heart and the heat burning into your cheeks every time you gazed at him, it was ironic considering the words you had spat out a few seconds ago that were spilt like venom into an open wound, his wound. the wound of the gapping hole in his heart.
you remained silent after that. you mentally cursed at yourself for letting such words slip out. you let out a deep sigh before turning to look at dazai; he was stunned. his eyes were shifting frantically from you to the wall, he was profusely dumbfounded. you let out a faint scoff before waking over to him and sitting on the edge of the bed, one hand coming up to push his bangs out of his eyes.
“’m sorry, i’m just fed up with this situation, please forgive me.” you blinked once as your eyes shifted to his, and immediately saw them soften once you gazed at him with a hopeful look. he just remained staring at you with a half-smile, until it turned into a full-blown smirk, the same one he used to tease everyone out of their minds.
“aww, don’t tell me you have such feelings for me ’donna! oh my my my, whatever am i going to do?” he whined in his sing-song voice, his bicep placed over his eyes in a dramatic manner as he kept up with his melodramatic act. you let out a mere scoff. even though he wasn’t taking it as seriously as you would’ve liked him to, his reaction couldn’t help but make you let out a small giggle. “shut up, just tell me yes or no.” you let out a sigh, your breath shaky with nervousness as you blinked at him with anticipation.
he went silent after that, he really did seem to be considering your offer, it was a demanding one at that. “hmm, fine, whatever. buuuut! i’m expecting you to give me hourly kisses.” his lips formed into an exaggerated pout once he crossed his arms, his gaze never faltering from yours. you looked at him with a indifferent yet warm look as you shook your head. “god are you impossible, fine.” you scooted closer to him, your arms hesitantly wrapping around his neck in an embrace as you pulled his head towards your collarbone, letting it rest there. you tilted your head to the side, letting your cheek rest on top of his forehead as you pressed a small, yet lingering kiss to his temple.
“you will better have counted 30 by the end of the day.”
“oh, for fuck’s sake!”
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yuujisonlylove · 1 day
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Emergency call
Sypnosis: You recently graduated as a nurse, oficially working like one already. You had to attend some people that were injured on an accident, is there when you find your ex bf from like 2 years ago is there too!
Words count: 1.6k
TW: No one? Slightly mentions of physical damage, nothing serious.
Btw, my first time writing! I've never written before and english isn't even my first language. Sooo; anyways, I had this idea hearing "Llamado de emergencia" - Daddy Yankee.
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Well, it's been like 2 years already?
The last time he saw you, you were almost in the middle of your nursing career or something. He assumes you are already working or something, he doesn’t really understand how medicine careers work or something, it's kinda complicated. 
The only reason he cares it’s because it was the reason he broke up with you, some shit like “I want more time to study, but don’t worry, I will come back after some years”.
Surprise, it's already been two years and no notice of you after you left the town.
Anyways, he was cooking some shitty recipe he saw on instagram, he didn't even know why he even tried. The only times he eats decent cooked food is when he goes to dinners or when you used to cook for the both of you. He thinks he is almost over your awesome self; he doesn’t cry hearing cigarettes after sex songs while he sees your polaroids together. Plus, he remembered you because he can’t believe how someone can be that bad at cooking, i mean, himself.
He smelled something weird, gas? Nah, it can’t be, he is very careful with that and plus he trust the safety of the complex of his apartment enough to assume it can’t be a gas leak. So, he saw the third step of the recipe and went to the oven to see how it was all going until… Bum!
Yeah, to the surprise of no one, it suddenly all burns in fire. It was a gas leak, of course it was, the smell warned him like ten minutes ago but he is just too fucking stubborn.
-
You were resting calmy, eating a piece of bread and a coca cola with your work buddies. Until you get a call. Some people were hurted by some kind of explosion and they needed immediate help; it was your work anyways, now that you are officially a nurse.
You fastly fix your uniform and get onto the ambulance with the rest of your coworkers. Well, it’s not the kind of thing you would like to do on your first day in this hospital after they transferred you back to your hometown. But, work is work and you get paid for this.
You are on the back with Shoko, your friend. A guy it's driving to the building and the other passenger puts on some music. It's not the best to put Ariana Grande on the way to attend people probably dying, but it calms you all in the meantime.
When you arrive, you already see the firemen attending to some people and turning off the fire of the building. You fastly got out of the ambulance and went to the first person you saw, fastly making him (apparently, you haven’t paid attention yet) lay down on a stretcher while you took out your first aid box and finally saw him.
For your surprise, and his surprise too. It's him, your ex, great. Congratulations I guess, you kinda missed him when you were gone, welcome back Satoru Gojo!
“What a surprise, mhm?” You said with a subtle smile, checking his vital signs while he looked at you in amusement.
“You- Uh…” He tries to say, you just made a “shhh” sound, putting your index fingers softly over his lips to shut him up, you knew him. You ignored his attempts to talk and leaned over to hear his heartbeat with your stethoscope.
“How bad, it seems we have to get you to emergencies” You say, fastly keeping all your supplements in their box again, calling two of your coworkers to put his stretcher on the ambulance. In less than a wink, he is already being attended by other people and you were looking out for other hurted people.
-
For his sweet delight, he saw you. How lucky he felt, he was just thinking of you some minutes ago, what a coincidence.
It was sweet seeing you, at least he knows now you are officially graduated and working already, and in this town. Fuck, you would miss him? He wouldn't mind coming back to your arms again and eating your delicious food every day.
He can’t think that much with those annoying murmurs of the doctors attending him and the insufferable screech on his ears. He just gets to distinguish something about some high pressure? I guess.
Anyways, going back to the initial and important theme. Damn, you looked good on your uniform, too good. How lucky he is to be saved by you. Maybe not saved because he will probably survive this but, anyways, you get the point.
After like an hour, you come back to the ambulance. You sigh and make a messy ponytail on your hair, sweating a bit. “God, luckily just him is gravely hurted” You said, sitting beside his stretcher and you chuckle quietly looking at him.
He slowly started to feel dazed, looking badly and even imagining hearts in his view as he saw you. What was that? Effects of the anesthesia, better late than ever, right?
He felt kinda drugged, ngl, but in a good way. If you already looked good, now having you in front of him seeing you prepare a needle with hearts (that he was imagining) around you and like a pink kdrama type filter it just makes everything better.
“Satoru, I'm going to put this in your arm, okay? Stay still” You saw, one hand softly resting on his stomach as you stood up next to him, looking down at him with a calm expression.
*”Satoruu” He repeats giggling, it seems he just heard that; looking at you even with more hearts and everything, hell, he even thinks it's in the background reproducing some romantic music.* Well, news, it was like some the weeknd song btw, nothing romantic.
“Yeah, ‘Satoruu’. You knew it was your name?! Wao!” You giggled, seeing the man smiling lazily at you and giggling. You take advantage of his calm state to introduce the straddle.
“Mhm. But it sounds better when you say it.” He hummed, replying as you put a band-aid on his arm.
“Oh, don’t tell me” You laugh again, checking his vital signs again and letting out a sigh of stress. For then, start to drink from a bottle of water you had around.
“You.. You and I should be sleeping happily, maybe even in this shit. It can stand the two of us, you aren’t that heavy” He says suddenly, looking at you. You, in disbelief spill out a bit of your water out of your mouth in a laugh. Even the other people laugh, hell, even Shoko who was driving.
“Fuck… Sorry?” You try to calm your laugh at him, both of your arms softly resting on the side of where he is laying.
“I told you, like, you look good enough right now. You take off my pants and th-” He tries to say, only to be interrupted by you softly slapping his chest and laughing loudly again with the rest of the people.
“Control your mouth” You said laughing again, you can’t believe this man. It has been two years and he hasn't changed a little, he always used to expose you and himself like this.
-
When everything has calmed down, you led his stretcher to the emergency room fastly and prepared himself to rest. He wasn’t that badly injured really, he can leave in like an hour.
“Well, Satoru, you seem well. If you’re lucky, you can leave in like 30 minutes” You said, checking his papers and writing something on the other. Standing next to him.
“Im not well” He says with a pout, it seems the anesthesia still have effects.
“Oh, and that's why?” You sit next to him with a smile, looking at him with your eyes, battling your eyelashes at him unconsciously.
“You left me, a long time ago” He said sadly, yep, it seems he still has the anesthesia effects. You just chuckled and rolled your eyes, seeing him slowly fall asleep.
-
Some hours after, he woke up feeling a bit bad, a bit better, a bit of everything. He had a headache, kinda hard.
He groaned and looked up, not remembering well the events of yesterday more than your beautiful self. He fastly rubbed his eyes and tried to look up for you, abruptly trying to stand up.
“Calm your ass, she isn't around right now.” A female voice says, the woman placed a hand on his chest to stop him. He looked at her and well, it was Shoko, unfortunately.
“Shoko, the fuck? I haven't saw her in like two years and then she came but then she is g-” He tries to say, his pressure abruptly growing. Shoko makes an “ooo” sound, checking some appliances around him.
“Calm down Satoru, look at your pressure. I think you should check yourself out sometimes, something is wrong with your pressure” She says, looking at him.
“Oh, I almost forgot.” She humm, taking all the appliances and things on him out, letting him free to go.
“Good luck, she gave me this.” Shoko said, her hand looking for something in her pockets. She take out a pack of cigarettes, her keys and then… Finally!
She gave him a paper, she didn’t read it so she can’t explain to him what it is. Anyways, she has more work and she can text him later, she walks out the place while she waves her hand at him.
Satoru walks out the place with a sigh and look out at the paper.
-
“Heyy, so here’s my number ****-**** !!
missed u, ig :p
w love, Y/n”
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souryogurt64 · 3 days
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Did you know of/listen to FOB/Pete before reading Gray or did the book come first?
I knew about FOB because everyone did in 2013 but I wasnt really like A Fan until I read Pete’s book. Anyway this is my origin story
In February 2013 I was in 8th grade. And I was in marching band. So as you can imagine the biggest thing in the world was FOB getting back together and MCR breaking up. My songs know what you did in the dark was also on the radio 24/7.
Anyway, I was already on Tumblr to post about Supernatural. And the average 14yo used to be able to download massive zip files of whatever music was cool off Tumblr to their iPod. I remember loving Where Did The Party Go and listening to it on the bus. But to me this was just Popular Music like The 1975 or Bastille.
And there was also a website called 8tracks where everyone would make playlists about fandoms and you could download those too, and I remember Just One Yesterday was on every Supernatural fan mix because its about angels.
Anyway there was also something happening at the same time called YouTube Could Be On The TV Now and only one girl at my lunch table had this kind of TV so after school groups of people would go watch youtube videos like charlie the unicorn at her house and someone showed the Youngblood Chronicles because it was like the most edgy dark fucked up thing any 14 year old had ever seen.
I was a little excessively sheltered so it was too scary for me but I did think it was cool, however I distinctly remember being absolutely crushed when Pete came onscreen because they hyped him up as the sexy one and then I thought he was ugly as hell and had no interest in him. Sorry. I did understand Patrick was good looking but I didn’t like, care. It is difficult to comprehend this now but in 2013 FOB was an inescapable cultural phenomenon Happening At School.
Anyway because I was in marching band we went on a Band Trip and you had to use the buddy system but nobody wanted to be my buddy. So the band director made me and another unpopular girl named Jennifer be buddies, and we immediately ended up BFFs for all of high school. She was extremely obsessed with bands like MCR, Pierce the Veil, Slipknot, Sleeping with Sirens etc that were a little beyond Fall Out Boy in terms of edginess.
Anyway I started hanging out with her friend group which was like the emo lunch table. Out of all those bands I only could tolerate MCR. My mom also did not want me hanging out with these people because they all smoked cigarettes and had lip piercings and dyed their hair and had like a million stepdads.
Anyway pretty soon after this happened a bunch of girls in this friend group got tickets to see The Used and we wanted to be FRONT ROW so we slept over at Jennifer’s house.
At this sleepover we like made matching tshirts and listened to the Three Cheers CD and smoked tea rolled in printer paper (very cool) and double-pierced my ears because I didn’t have as many piercings. I screamed the entire time and everyone like permanently bent the toilet seat while this was happening and it was all very dramatic.
Anyway everyone had brought books and homework because we were going to get to the venue at the crack of dawn. Which was NOT necessary. NOBODY was camping for this concert. And one girl had brought Pete’s book and I ended up with it pretty quickly after getting there.
Once I started reading it, I couldn’t stop and was ignoring my friends and basically everything happening around me because it is the best book ever and I needed to finish it.
I read the entire thing in basically one sitting and when we had to go into the venue I had just a handful of pages left so I finished it between doors and the show starting and made my friend’s annoyed mom put it in her purse. Then we immediately saw The Used center barricade which was a very intense early concert experience. Bert is a really great live performer and was growling in our faces a lot and like biting wires and writhing around and there was the wall of death and a mosh pit and everything.
So as you can imagine this was all a permanently psyche altering experience for me but especially the book. Part of why I became so obsessed with it as a teen was I was really frustrated and upset everyone on Tumblr and every adult in my life hadn’t even read it but was so insistent it was a garbage book and it shouldn’t be my favorite. I brought it in for an assignment like 2 months after I first read it and got into an argument with my English teacher, who had actually been my favorite teacher ever up until that, and she was really condescending about it.
She gave me a B that was definitely not justified and probably the only time I’d ever gotten a B on an English assignment so I was extremely mad and like Needed To Be Right.
She was mad it was glorifying sex and drugs and mental illness or whatever and I was like arguing it was good and it was satire and she was like “this is absolutely not satire and its rotting your impressionable brain.”
Anyway I remember even on my first reading picking up on some of the Freud stuff and the use of racial terms which kind of clued me into the fact it was not being played completely straight and there was more going on. And I literally was right and it is the best book ever.
I read it over and over and took it to school and slept with it under my pillow from ages 14-17 until I discovered Green Day. Which is like a normal experience a lot of 14 year olds have with a book, but usually it’s like the catcher in the rye or whatever.
But anyway during this period I got super into Pete and Fall out boy lore and reading Chris’ journals because Pete is very cute and fall out boy are very good also
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mrsnancywheeler · 3 days
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Ugh I’m so pissed that tumblr ate my scrumptious ass head canon I sent 😒. I don’t even remember the song I was listening to when writing it to 😭
Anyways it was about groupie reader talking with Eddie and setting Billy off. You and Eddie talking in the studio when you’re supposed to be there for him just sets him off into possessiveness and suddenly he’s holding you by the waist, whispering something about last night and how great you felt/tasted loudly enough for Eddie to hear. Mind you he goes out of his way to whisper loud enough so Eddie can hear. Or at events when you and Eddie are hanging out at the house, he’d go up to you and either try to get your attention by talking about one of his songs or doing the same thing where he’d whisper sexual comments in your ear. Obviously you can’t resist it, but Eddie just rolls his eyes. He’s used to Billy doing this whenever he can tell that Eddie is making you laugh or smile too hard.
sorry this took me so long to respond too pookie, but I'm here for this
how dare the tumblr ask box eat your thoughts for itself, I need the meal too 😭
he's been fussing over a song and is messing around behind the board trying to perfect some different pieces, while you've been happily chatting away with eddie the whole time. well, more fairly, you could feel billy had been getting tense and snappier so you'd decided to give him some space to do his thing, by talking to eddie. mindless jokes and chattering until billy can't focus on what he was doing, he just hears your voice, your laugh. and he knows it should be him instead, he shouldn't have been to tense with you because this is making him decidedly more tense. especially since anyone with eyes can tell they eddie has a thing for you and is buttering you up. soon enough he's nixing everything he was working on to go over to you and eddie, pulling you in by the waist so his arms are wrapped around you and his mouth is right by your ear.
"hi, baby."
you're turning around to face him, but he's still got you in his arms. "hi billy, you figured everything out?"
he's suddenly kissing you, "couldn't, how am I expected too when my girl is standing right here? could only think about how fucking great you felt last night and all your little noises"
you can feel your face heating up as you playfully shove at him, laughing, "we can recreate that ever you want" and he's groping your ass, totally giving smug looks to eddie who is rolling his eyes into oblivion.
OR
times when you and eddie are just watching tv on the couch, he's got his arm over the back of it and you're nestled into his side. and billy gets so annoyed so he comes up with any reason to tear the two of you apart. whether it's also sitting on the couch and saying, "c'mere baby" and making out with you while you're on his lap
or like completely interrupting what you were watching or talking to eddie about because he needs your attention more. "hey, baby, got something I wanted to run past you"
"do you mind?" eddie is asking, knowing exactly what billy is trying to do and will succeed at if given the chance. billy is just frowning back before you're standing up. (after you've elbowed eddie in the side ofc)
"yeah of course, you can" and because he's feeling obnoxious, he's sitting down in the middle of the living room to sing this song he's been working on about you. eddie awkwardly gets up at one point and is just mulling around, drinking a cup of water and trying not to roll his eyes too much.
meanwhile you're just lovestruck by his words and voice, the face that he's writing something about you.
I imagine this being his everywhere by fleetwood mac type song because we know this man be expressing his love through songs rather than admitting to them quite yet, because that's scary.
"you know I'm proud and I can't get the words out. oh I, I wanna be with you everywhere"
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kit-kee · 1 month
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Valentine’s Day Show ❤️ 14.02.24
spent my valentine’s with 21 thousand people. whore.
#missed the whole theatrical/consumption bit which I was really looking forward to coz I fuckin fainted in the pit#didn't eat or drink anything all day and felt so dehydrated and was fine during the#upbeat songs moving about but then on the slower songs where I'm just swaying and stuff i became so acutely aware of the pain from my boots#and having no water I just went#went down three times consecutively got up myself the first and bless this guy behind me who pulled me up properly the second as I was#standing - then security got me out don’t remember them coming just someone saying I have to hold onto them and stand and me doing it and#telling them I couldn’t see anything#my vision just went man#was literally fine as soon as I moved and then had water - wish I’d of just had water there so didn’t have to leave coz I’d of been fine#went back out to the side of the back half of GA and danced my heart away - still so fun obvs#wanna go again and catch the whole show though lol#I’m not the type of person to faint at a gig (whatever that means) annoying#like it wasn’t because I was in a crowd n hot n bothered or whatever - I've been eating one meal a day since before and after Xmas and not#drinking enough and then nothing day of - was stupid need to sort myself out#I’ve never been very good at looking after myself - sleep and eating & drinking and exercise#I wish I could’ve seen what I looked like - I have this thing where whenever I’m like not fully in control over myself like drunk or high I#wanna be able to remember what it appeared like for later - sometimes I’ll like video myself to be able to see when I’m sober#very embarrassing when people are around and I usually don’t wanna watch it back coz of that so pointless anyway#walking out the pit as I was getting my vision back was so weird coz everyone had turned around to watch B-stage and all I see is blurry#faces looking my way from one side and blurry faces looking my way the other as I parted through - was like a fever dream lol all confused#and out of focus looking like these stagnant people standing there staring at me on either side -not the case obviously but all I could see#like they were just starting to turn so the people in front of me turned around and the people in the row behind me (to my right as I was#walking out) hadn't turned yet and were making a gap for me n the security to get out so both sides were facing me and I was just getting#my vision back so it was so odd to me lol#anyway bye bye diary#there’s my little story of one part of my day#the1975#the 1975#the 1975 satvb#satvb
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springseasonie · 1 month
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Notice Me | LHC (M)
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Friends to lovers
Summary: You and your friends go to a college party, and tonight is the night where you are finally going to try and catch your crush's attention, who also happens to be one of your good friends. He doesn't think that he thinks of you in that way, but what happens when he sees you with another guy at the party?
Warnings: sexual content, protected sex, auralism, guided masturbation (kinda), sensory deprivation, super vanilla, reader is legally blind (trust it's important 🙏🏾), long haired haechan, violence (minor fight scene), special appearances: Karina and Yunjin
Word count: 7,5k
Song recs: moment by Victoria Monet
A/N: wrote this on a random whim. Def not my best writing but oh well. Hope you guys like it. I will start working on request after this one I promise 🫶🏾 feedback is loved and appreciated
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“Are you guys sure I don't look crazy?” 
“Yes we're sure! Now let's go, we're already 45 minutes late and Mark is yelling at me in my messages!” 
Karina grabbed your hand, pulling you into the frat house followed by your other best friend Yujin. A chill ran down your spine and also your legs, never having this much skin exposed. This was new to you– dressing in skimpy clothes and college parties. But that wasn't the only thing new to you. Having a crush is also very new. 
The only reason you're even here is because of him. Haechan to be exact, who is a part of your friend group. He's the exact opposite of you– loud, cheerful, outgoing. But maybe that's why you like him so much. Opposites attract. 
And that's why you're standing in the middle of the doorway, looking like a deer in headlights in the shortest skirt and tiniest top ever. Tonight was gonna be all about catching his attention. It was going to be about making him look at you like a woman and not a friend. 
You walk through the crowd of people, their bodies constantly smashing yours. The constant bumping makes your glasses slide down your nose, making you fear that you may lose them. Most people think you're being dramatic when you say you can't see without them, but you're as blind as a bat.
Mark and Haechan soon come into view, standing in a circle with their other friends from the basketball team. 
“But don't you guys remember- woah..” Mark turned his head, stopping mid sentence when he saw Karina, and Yujin walking towards them. 
“Hey guys,” Yunjin said excitedly. 
Everyone said their hellos, but you couldn't help but notice the way their eyes lingered on you, all except Haechan. He spared you one glance and one hello before going silent, sipping whatever it was in his cup. You felt yourself die inside, the way he was treating you like an acquaintance all of a sudden. Was it too much? Did you go too far? 
“Sorry were we so late, it takes a long time getting ready,” Karina says, fixing her hair. 
“I'm sure it did.” Mark is still eyeing you like you've said something weird. None of them has ever seen you like this. You're always pretty much covered up. Hoodies and leggings are your daily attire. 
Mark turns his attention to you, scoffing in disbelief. “And look at you, walking in here looking like a sexy Velma.” 
“Oh shut up, she looks good. Right Haechan, doesn't she look good,” Yujin inquires. 
The male glances at you then back to Yujin then at Mark, whose brow is raised waiting for his answer. “You look…nice Y/N.” 
Nice? That's it? “Thanks,” you say, hands glued to your sides. 
Karina sighed, shaking her head at the dry response. “You guys suck at compliments,” she said. “Anyway, let's go get something to drink.” She took a hold of both Yujin and your hands, pulling you to the kitchen. 
Eyes never left your figure since you walked in the building. There were other girls dressed just like you, but for some reason all attention remained on you, and you didn't like it. So used to being a background character in your own life, you'll never get used to attention. 
“God you look hot, we did so good,” Yujin whispered to you, her voice slightly muffled because of the loud music. 
“Do I? He didn't have much of a reaction,” you argued, a frown tugging at your lips. 
“Everyone's been ogling at you all night, even Mark. You definitely look hot,” Karina reassures. “Besides, maybe you'll meet someone else here that you'll like. Haechan doesn't know what he's missing.” 
“Yeah, honestly if he doesn't do anything tonight, you need to move on sister,” Yunjin adds. “Can't keep dwelling on the same guy for 3 years.” 
But you don't want to move on. And if he rejects you, you know that you can't regardless. You'll still like him, because he's a good guy and always has been. There's probably nothing that could make you think anything less. Karina continued to pull you to the kitchen between the bodies when you suddenly bumped your shoulder into someone, causing them to drop something. 
“Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-” 
“It's no problem,” he said, a smirk tugging at his lips. “No big deal. It was just my phone.” 
You didn't even notice you lost the hold of Karina’s hand at this point, your attention being on the man in front of you. “D-did it break? I'll pay for it.” 
“No, it's doing just fine,” he said, placing the phone in his pocket without sparing a glance. He eyed you up and down, his gaze undressing you right in front of him. “What's your name?”
“Y/N,” you answered, gulping slightly out of nervousness. “Yours?” 
“Johnny.” Licking his lips, he narrows his eyes slightly while speaking to you. “You new around here? I've never seen you on campus before.”
“Well, I actually don't go here,” you say, words leaving your mouth a little too fast. “I have a couple of friends that do. They invited me to this party.” 
“Cool,” he said. “Can I… get you a drink?” 
Your eyes widened, a bit taken back by the sudden request, but you didn't disapprove of it at all. Johnny was cute, tall, had a nice voice and seemed like a nice guy. So why not take the offer? “Yeah, sure. That would be great.” 
 -
“Man, he sure is chatting her up,” Mark remarks, watching you and the unknown guy stand and talk while sipping on your drink.
“How can he not? She looks great tonight,” Yunjin comments. “Doesn't she Haechan?” 
Haechan furrows his brows, side eyeing her as he man-spreads on the couch they're all sitting on. “Why me specifically?” 
“Why not?” Yunjin shrugs. 
Haechan rolls his eyes, looking down at his lap trying to focus on anything but the scene in front of him, but he can't help it. You did look good, you looked great. But for some reason he couldn't say it. His stiffness towards you when you came in was because of how different you looked. Haechan wouldn't say he had a crush on you , more so complicated feelings. He didn't yearn for you, but he wouldn't hate it if something sprung from your friendship. 
Haechan knows that his female friends are attractive. Guys always talk about Karina and Yunjin, telling him that he should pursue them or sleep with them, that he's wasting his time being friends. He's never looked at them in that way, but with you it's a different story. You're easy to talk to, and you have lots in common with him. He also loves your glasses. It's something you don't like about yourself, but he thinks they make you look pretty. You've always been pretty to him, probably his exact type on paper. Someone who's smart, calm, a bit of a homebody, true to themselves. 
But disregarding any of that, he didn't have a crush on you. He wasn't into you in that way, despite what everyone else in the friend group thinks. His eyes narrow watching you cross your arms, throwing your head back while laughing at something. “So funny,” he mumbled. 
“You said something,” Yunjin asked. 
“No.”
“Sure… you know, if you like her you should-” 
“I don't like her. We are just friends,” he cuts her off.
Yunjin sighs, making her head. “Haechan you are fooling no one but yourself. I'll let you in on a little secret. Y/N has a crush on you,” she says, hoping that would help him open his eyes. 
Haechan stays silent, expression remaining stoic and straight as he stares directly at the male putting his hand on your hip. That's when he feels a slight sting in his chest. The small ping of jealousy. 
“How would you know that,” he says after a few beats of silence between them. 
“Why do you think she dressed up tonight? God, use your brain.” 
Before Haechan could respond, he watched as someone walked past you, bumping you on the shoulder. He watched as the drink fell out of your hand, almost like a cliche movie. 
The liquid splashed all over the guy’s chest, but he didn't seem too upset. In fact, he looked happy to Haechan, especially when you dabbed the paper towels all over his chest
“God, I am so sorry,” he heard you say panicked. Just as soon as you thought you were done panicking someone else walked beside you, bumping you in the shoulder. You must've been getting bumped all night because your glasses fell. 
“Shit,” you said. You dropped to your knees, feeling around the floor for your frames. “I-Im sorry can you please-”
You look up at Johnny, but you see nothing but a flash in your face. “J-Johnny?”
“God, has anyone ever seen you like this,” he laughed softly. “You're so hot, I could just-”
You heard a loud smack above you, followed by gasp and tons of commotion.
“What the fuck? Who the fuck are you,” you heard Johnny yell. 
“She's looking for her glasses. Aren't you gonna help,” you heard a voice similar to Haechan say. 
Johnny laughed, scoffing at the guy you couldn't see. “Is she your girl or something? You should keep her on a leash before I take her to my place and show her what a good time is.”
“Excuse me,” the other guy grumbled. You were still searching for your glasses, but from what you could tell, a group started to form around the 2 guys and yourself 
 “You heard me. Get your bitch or-”
A loud sound was heard coupled with oh’s and ah’s from the crowd. 
You heard another sound. This time, it sounded like a punch. There was a fight happening, and you were on the ground still looking for your glasses. Just as you reached in another direction on the floor, you felt hands pull your body up. 
“What the fuck was he thinking,” you hear Karina groan. She turned your body, placing your glasses back on your face. For the first time in a minute you can see, and you do not like what you see. 
Haechan and Mark were currently trying to fight Johnny and his two friends. “What is going on? Why is everyone fighting all of a sudden?” 
“Let's just get away from all this, and we'll tell you.”
You were pulled away, Karina and Yujin dragging you outside to the driveway away from the loudness of the party. “So what exactly is going on?” 
“Okay, so basically-” Karina started to speak, but Yujin cut her off quickly. 
“Everyone was watching you and that guy hit it off the whole time, but Haechan looked like he was gonna kill someone. So I said, you know if you like her you should tell her. And he was like I don't like her , we're just friends. Then he saw you trying to clean off that guy's shirt. Then your glasses fell and you got on the ground and-”
“I'm sorry, but what does that have anything to do with what just happened in there,” you say exasperated. 
“Well when your glasses fell and you got down to look for them your-”
“Oh my God.” Karina looked at her phone shocked. You and Yunjin stood next to her to see the screen, and was immediately horrified. 6 different people recorded and took pictures of you looking for your glasses on the floor. Every post had people calling you names ranging from desperate to slut. You didn't realize at the time, but almost your entire ass was out, and your cleavage could be seen clearly. 
“Fuck,” you groaned. “i'm going to kill myself.” You placed your face in your hands, covering the embarrassed expression. 
“Yeah,” Yunjin said, lips pursed right after. “That's what happened.” 
“Why did you guys let me do that” you whined. 
“We were on the couch, surprised. We thought you were trying to seduce the guy, but then we saw him pull his phone out and everything went to hell,” she explains. 
At this point you're pacing the driveway, trying to figure what to do about the party, the post, Johnny, Haechan, everyone. “Well now we have to leave,” you said. “We've been here for less than 2 hours and we have to leave.”
“Okay, well let me call them,” Yujin said. Just as she pulled out her phone, a voice was heard behind her. 
“No need,” Mark said, making his presence known. 
The three of you turned back to see them with their clothes messed up, cuts and bruises on their faces, and tired. 
“Oh my God,” Karina says with her hand over her mouth. “Are you guys okay?” 
“We're fine…well I'm fine. He's a bit..” 
You look over at Haechan who's standing there with his hands in his pockets. You don't know what came over you, but you took a couple of steps towards him, anger filling your mind. 
“Why would you do that,” you said. Your voice startled him, making him look up from the ground. 
“Y/N I-”
“I had no idea what was going on, and you two getting into a fight scares me to death,” you told him. “How did you even get all the cuts on your faces?” 
“Him and his friends had rings and stuff on,” he mumbled, shrugging. “Shit happens.” 
There weren't many times Haechan has seen you upset. The last time you were this mad was when Mark accidentally deleted your essay from your laptop doing his homework. 
“We have to leave right now,” you sighed, arms folded at your chest. “I won't know what to do if you get into another fight and you're already hurt like this.”
Without thinking, your hands reach up to his face, taking his chin between your fingers as you check his face for any other injuries that you can't see. Haechan thought he was crazy when the butterflies erupted in his stomach, but they erupted again when you looked at him with pity, like you cared about him. He hadn't felt that way in a long time. Getting attention from girls came easy to him, but none of the girls he's dealt with made him feel the way you do. 
 “I'll um..I'll get an Uber for us-”
“No I'll get it,” you said. “We're going back to my house, you can't take care of all these by yourself.” 
There it was, more butterflies. 
“We'll go back to Mark’s and help him out,” Karina said, side eyeing Yunjin. 
Yunjin quickly nodded, picking up the message Karina was sending. “Yep! Absolutely! We'll see you tomorrow!” 
“What? I don't need help. I'm a grown man,” he whined. Karina and Yunjin nudged Mark who didn't seem to understand what was going on, making the man look at them confused.
“Grown men don't get into fights at parties,” you snap. “We'll see you guys tomorrow.” 
-
“Wait in the bathroom. I'm going to change super quickly.” You shut your door behind you, locking it before kicking your shoes off. Before walking to your room, you turn to Haechan who looks as stiff as wood. “You look uncomfortable.” 
Haechan watched as you walked away from him, going to your kitchen instead of your room. You grabbed a mug, filling it with water. He's never been so uncomfortable with you, but right now he feels like he could explode. You look so good in your current outfit, the way your hips sway when you walk, the way the shirt hugs your chest. He feels like he shouldn't be looking at you like this, but he feels like he's the only one who should be allowed. 
“Here.” You hand him the mug, looking at him in the eyes like usual. 
Haechan gulps, forcing himself to stop, keeping his eyes on yours and not let the travel any further. “Thanks,” he says, taking it out of your hands. 
“Take your shoes off and relax,” you say. “I'll meet you in the bathroom in 5 minutes.” 
He watches you walk away, holding his breath until you shut the door behind you. “Fuck,” he sighs. The one thing he can't do is get hard standing at your front door. Haechan knows he wouldn't be able to explain that, let alone lie to you about it. The only thing he could do is sit in your bathroom like you asked, and wait for you to put normal clothes on. 
But Haechan is only a man. When you walked into the bathroom with short shorts and a laced lined camisole, the only thing he could do was pray for his presumed innocence. Pray that he didn't make a fool of himself in your house. 
You reached up in your medicine cabinet taking out the pain meds and supplies for his injuries. It took you 10 seconds to get everything out, but for him it felt like 10 years. The way the fabric rose as you lifted your arms, watching you lean your hips on the edge of the counter giving him the smallest piece of your ass to stare at. And the way your nipples poked through the shirt– he was going to pass out right then and there. 
There's nothing Haechan wanted more than to get behind you, feel up on your body. Whatever you were planning for the party worked because now he can't keep his mind off of you, and soon, it'll be his hands. To think you wore that outfit for him, he never would've guessed it. 
“I can change if you need me to,” you said softly, startling him. 
“N-no you don't need to change,” he said, watching you take two pills of pain meds out of the container. 
“Take these.” You handed him the pills, watching him drink them down as you leaned on the counter. Haechan was sitting on the toilet seat, so the sight of him taking deep gulps with his eyes closed was a treat to say the least. You shouldn't be eyeing him like this, but God, was he attractive, even with bruises and cuts. “Are you feeling any better?” 
“Gotta wait for them to kick in first,” he joked, but there was no smile on his face. 
You grabbed an ointment for his bruises, opening it and squeezing some on your fingers. Haechan watched you as you tended to his wounds, concentrating on not trying to hurt him. He loved the way you would bite your lip whenever you were trying to concentrate, he always did. 
The silence was comforting for a while, but then his thoughts got the best of him. Both of you actually. Your chest was in his face, his eyes wouldn't leave yours. The less talking there was, the more sexual tension filled the air, so you needed to get rid of it. But your mouth moves faster than your brain and for some reason, you felt it was the perfect moment to come clean about your intentions with him.
“I have something to confess,” you said softly. 
“What is it?” 
“I wore that outfit for you tonight,” you said, fixing your glasses on your nose bridge. 
He smiled to himself, but you didn't see. “I have something to confess.” 
“Hm,” you hummed. 
“I already knew that.” 
You let out a soft gasp, laughter soon following. “How did you know?” 
“Yunjin,” he said simply. You let out a sigh, shaking your head making him chuckle softly. 
“That girl can't keep a secret to save her life.” You moved on from his bruise, now tending to the scratches on his cheeks. Taking your fingers you apply the cream on the scratches, making him wince. “I only have a little bit left. This is why you shouldn't get in fights Mr. Lee.” 
“Well, I..” he hesitated. “I fought for you.” 
For a second you felt your heart drop. The guy you liked for 3 years fought for you, and you had absolutely nothing to say. “Thank you” was all you could manage. “But…why?” 
“He was…an ass.” Memories of the guy recording you why you were down struck his brain, pissing him off all over again. “He was treating you like some kind of sexual fantasy. And I don't like that.” 
You frowned, remembering that videos and pictures of yourself looking for your glasses are now circulating the Internet. “Yeah…”
“And I didn't like the way he was touching you,” he said, wincing at the feeling of you putting the bandage on. 
“You sound like a protective father,” you joke, trying to lighten the mood. “I appreciate you for defending me, but there's no reason to get hurt while doing it.” 
“But I want to,” he says, making you pause. “Y/N, I think I like you.” 
“I-I..uh..” You wanted so badly to say you liked him too, but now you were nervous. Your face was beating up, fogging your glasses. Be cool, be normal. “T-thanks..” 
“Thanks?” Haechan laughs softly. “That's what I get for fighting.” 
“No, that's not what I meant! I meant-”
“I know what you meant, and it's fine,” he reassured you. “I think I liked you for a long time, just didn't know if you felt the same way.” 
“How long is a long time to you?” 
“A couple months,” he answered. 
You sighed, a slight wave of disappointment filling your chest. “I wanted you for 3 years.” 
Haechan's eyes widened slightly, brows shooting up hearing your words. “3 years? Why didn't you tell me?” 
“Because I'm the kind of girl you befriend, not date,” you answered bitterly. 
“That's not true.” 
“All the girls you like are exactly like you. They're loud, adventurous, cool, hot, wear skimpy clothing,” you argued. “I'm just not your type.” 
“Well that can't be true now, because it seems like you are exactly my type,” he stated. 
“For now.” You started treating his last bit of scratches, scrunching your nose to keep your glasses from slipping again. “Why do you think I wore that outfit? I just wanted you to notice me.” 
“But I noticed you. I do all the time,” he revealed. 
“But it wasn't until tonight which made you realize that,” you added. And with that final comment, you finished tending to his wounds, placing the last bandage on his face. “I'm all done. If you wanna go home, I can-” 
“No,” he said. Haechan placed his hands on the back of your thighs, his soft palms sending lightning through your body. “I'm staying here.” 
You could barely think straight with him touching you, the hold on your legs just getting stronger and stronger, his thumbs pressing into your skin. That's when Haechan kisses up your clothed stomach softly and slowly, making your lashes and heart flutter as you watch him from above. 
“Haechan, stop,” you sigh. “Y-you're not thinking straight.” 
He stands up, his lanky figure looming over yours. You swear you feel dizzy the moment his cologne hits your nose. He pulls you closer, his pelvis on yours. You could feel his hard on sitting right on your aching cunt. 
“I know you feel it,” he whispers. “I know you feel the tension here. And I know you feel how hard I am too.” 
Gulping, you look away from him. This is everything you've fantasized about for the last 3 years, but something is telling you no. Something is telling you it's too good to be true. “Maybe..maybe we should wait.”
Haechan takes your chin in his bruised knuckles, lifting your chin to look at him, but all you can see are his pretty lips hovering over yours. “Are you sure you wanna wait? Because I'm not sure I can hold myself back for even a second.” 
His free hand travels up your leg, his fingertips grazing the heat between your legs ever so slightly, teasing you even more. “You have no idea how pissed it made me feel seeing that guy touch and feel on you, knowing it should've been me.” 
“That's why you fought him?” 
The breathiness of your words almost made him spiral. You were breathing heavily, your chest pressed against his so turned on at every little thing he did. 
“Mhm,” he mumbled. “Seeing you walk around in that tiny skirt knowing I couldn't have you..”
“You have me now..” 
“You're right, I do.” 
Haechan kisses you just as you imagined, soft and with care. He kept kissing you, each kiss making you feel high. His hands left your face and leg, grabbing a hold of your waist. You yelp, feeling your body be lifted onto the end of your sink, legs spread apart as he stands between them. His tongue entered your mouth, the kisses slowing down and lingering a bit. 
Haechan places his hands on your sides, soon traveling to your chest. Hard nipples looking through the fabric, teasing him the whole time he's been in your house can finally be his. Haechan hooks his fingers on the bottom of your shirt, begging to pull it up when you grab his wrist, stopping him. 
You pull away painfully slow, a strong of saliva still connecting your lips only for a second. “Can we go to my room?” 
Haechan said nothing, just backing away from your body and pulling you off the counter. He pulled you to your room, still messy as always. He always loved your house, especially your room. Something about it felt like home. There's always little bits of you scattered throughout your space, whether it be homework, a brush, a mug, or even a sock. It doesn't matter how many times he comes over, it always feels the same. 
But this time it felt a little different. He wasn't going to your room to hang out with the others, he was going to have sex with you. Going to make out with you, to be more than friends with you. This was going to change everything about your relationship with him, but it didn't matter right now. All that mattered was making you feel good. 
Haechan sat on your bed looking up at you, mirroring his previous actions in your bathroom. You were more nervous than ever now with him sitting there expectantly. Fixing your glasses, you placed your hand on his shoulder, climbing on his body to straddle him. 
“Can I take your top off,” his whispered peppering soft kisses down your neck. 
You nod, giving him permission. Haechan hooks his fingers on the hem of your top, lifting the fabric off your body. He feels like he's 16 again, like this is his first time seeing a woman's chest, except it's yours, which is much more important. He starts kissing you slow, his hands naturally finding their way to your chest. You shuddered at the way his cold palms molded your breasts, shaky breaths leaving your mouth and into his every once in a while. 
Haechan started kissing down your jaw, then to your neck, making tilt your head to give him more access. His hands leave your chest for a bit, placing them on your back pulling you closer to his body. Your nipples touch the cold of the print on his graphic tee, stimulating you more while he leaves wet messy kisses all over your skin. 
He kisses lower and lower, lips now pressing against the top of your breast. You look down at him, the most dreamy expression ever when his eyes meet your framed ones. You look so cute in them, but still the sexist person he'd ever seen in glasses. 
You let out a soft moan feeling his tongue swipe against your nipples, the feeling being foreign after being on such a long dry spell. He licks the stiffened peak again, then sucking it while staring up at you. 
“So pretty,” he whispers on your skin. 
You're soaking at this point, his touch and voice bewitching you. Haechan holds you tight, sucking your nipples softly. His eyes hung low, the stare making you squirm. You watched as his brows furrowed hearing your soft whines, his hand gripping the fabric on your hip. He releases your breast from his mouth with a soft pop, the cold air hitting the wet peak making you shiver. 
“Do you think of me when you touch yourself?”
Your eyes dart to his face, glasses slipping down your nose bit by bit. “I..”
Haechan smirks, his soft lips kissing your chest once again while his hands roam your body. “I know you do,” he whispers. “You're the most obvious person I know.” 
Haechan slips his hands to your lower back, his fingers dipping lower and lower into your shorts. He can't help himself, squeezing the flesh in his hands like a stress ball making you push into his palms more. 
“I want you to show me,” he says, words muffled in your neck while he kisses it. 
“S-show you,” you question.
“I want you to show me what you do when you make yourself feel good,” he adds. “Is that okay?” 
You were intoxicated in your home and he's barely touched you yet, but his voice and eyes did something else to you. You needed more. You nodded, lips parting slightly when he takes his hands out your shorts. 
“Stand up.” 
You remove your leg from his side, removing yourself from his lap. Haechan stood up, body so close to yours you could feel the heat emitting off of him. He tugged at the bottom of his shirt, lips curling into a small smile. “Wanna help?” 
You nodded slowly, hands lifting his shirt above his head. His eyes disappeared behind the fabric but once it was off him, they connected with yours once again, making your core clench around nothing. You tossed his shirt on the floor, eyes trailing down his soft but toned body. You've seen him shirtless plenty of times but this was different. This felt different. 
Haechan's gaze lingered on you as he unhooked his belt, the sound of the metal clinging sending a shiver down your spine. He let them fall, showcasing black underwear to you. Haechan leans down, kissing you softly as he steps out of the pool of fabric, groaning in your mouth softly when your chest touches his. 
“Now,” he says softly, pulling away from you. Taking your hand, he pulls you to the side of your bed, climbing onto the mattress. Haechan plops down, leaning his head on your headboard in the dreamiest way possible. “I need those off” – he points to your shorts – “and you right here.” He pays the spot between his legs. 
Your fingers dig into your waistline, hesitating for what feels like an eternity. Your heart was beating rapidly,  with every second feeling like years. Haechan watched you pull the last piece of decency off your body, soaking in every bit of bare skin he laid his eyes on. He needed to feel you, touch you, eat you. But first he wanted to see you. 
Climbing on the bed, he sensed how anxious you were, wrapping his arms around your body once you settled between his legs. And just like that, you were like putty in his hands, immediately melting in his touch letting him run his hands all over your skin, groping at you wherever he liked. 
“Spread those legs for me pretty,” he said into your ear, smiling when you obeyed. His fingertips trail lines in your hips, soon moving down your legs. He could barely control himself, hands moving closer and closer to your soaked core, the actions making you bring your knees together. 
“Shit,” you mumbled, face hot as you witnessed your glasses fog bit by bit. 
“Do you always wear your glasses during sex” he asked, kissing behind your ear softly. 
“Y-yes, why?”
“I want you to take them off for me.” Haechan laughs to himself softly when you sit up, turning to him with a confused expression. 
“But then I-I can't see,” you say, a slight whine in your voice. 
“I'll do that for you.” Haechan removes the frames from your face gently, folding them and placing them on your lamp table. “I want you to focus on how you feel and what I say. Can you do that for me?” 
His milky tone, the way his lips brushed on your earlobe, his soft touch between your thighs. You'd do anything he asks for in a heartbeat. “Y-yes.” 
“Good girl,” he praises. “You know what to do.”
Haechan watched you start rubbing your clit slowly, biting his lip softly. His hands continued rubbing your thighs, soothing you as you leaned into his chest more. You feel his heavy breathing on your back, your lids going heavy once you insert two fingers inside. 
Haechan was rock solid at the point, watching your fingers move in and out of you, the squelch your pussy made being music to his ears. “Fuck,” he mumbles in your ear.
You clench around your fingers to his voice, the breath tickling your ears making you squirm between him. Your eyes are closed, so you don't see the way he's looking beside you, watching the way your face twitches at every feeling or sound. His stomach flips when you gasp at the sudden feeling his hands on your chest, small moans escaping to the added pleasure. 
“I love that sound,” he says, the sound of your pussy getting louder when you finger yourself faster. 
“S-stop,” you stutter. 
“Are you embarrassed,” he chuckles softly, nipping at your ear, not taking his eyes off the scene between your legs. You gulp and nod, a small whine spilling from your lips. 
“God you're so cute.” Haechan removes one hand off your chest, creeping his fingers back between your legs. “Almost as cute as this pretty clit right here.” 
“H-haechan..” 
He started rubbing small, slow circles, your moans increasing in volume. You kept fingering yourself, but you needed more. You needed his cock, his mouth, his pretty hands. The thought of him finger fucking you till you came stimulated you, making your hips move on their own, grinding against his fingers.
“Tell me what you're thinking about.” He had pressure on his fingers making a whine leave you plump lips. “What do you want from me Y/N?” 
“I..I want you Haechan,” you answer breathlessly. “I want you to make me cum.” Your hand pumps your hole faster, wetness coating your fingers running down your hands. His breath tickles your neck as he begins to grind on you. Eyes closed, head falling back on his shoulder, you let your hips move on their own. You're so close, the feeling of his chest rising on your back aiding to the pleasure throughout your body. 
“I want you inside me,” you moan softly, brows furrowing. 
“How bad,” he teased, a smile on his lips. He rubbed your clit faster, starting to feel your legs shaking. Your moans increased, whines and whimpers freely falling from your lips. He knew you were going to cum. 
“So, so bad,” you whispered. “I-Im gonna cum haechan..” 
“Cum for me,” he whispered. “You're so pretty when you cum.” 
You pumped your fingers harder and faster, the sound of your wet hole filling his ears. You came around your fingers, pussy squeezing tight on the digits inside you. Haechan kept rubbing your clit, the feeling of his fingers on the sensitive bud making you shiver on his shoulder. 
“There you go Y/N,” he said softly, his other hand rubbing your thigh. “Let it out. God, you make the prettiest sounds.” 
You pulled your fingers from between your legs, hand resting on your other thigh as you breathed heavily against his body. That's when you feel his hand take yours, bringing it to his mouth. Haechan wrapped his lips around your fingers, sucking your arousal off your fingers. 
“Haechan,” you whined, hanging your head low in embarrassment. He chuckled, taking your face and turning it to him. He kisses you softly, the taste of your own cum on his lips. “I need you so bad,” you mumbled on his lips. 
“Lay down for me okay?” 
You nodded, lifting yourself from his body, allowing him to move from behind you. You reached for your glasses, putting them on, clearing your blurry vision. When you looked back up, Haechan was pulling his underwear off his body, hard on so big, it hit his stomach. 
“Holy fuck,” you mumbled to yourself. He was big. Bigger than you imagined, and it makes you wonder where he was hiding it all this time under his skinny jeans. 
“Staring isn't very polite, you know.” 
His voice broke your thoughts, making your eyes snap back up to his face. Dark locks of hair fell in his eyes, that same teasing grin on his mouth. He looked like a dream– bruises and bangs on his face, knuckles red, but still hot. He crawled onto the bed, yanking your body lower on the bed by your ankles. 
“You have some condoms,” he said, eyes scanning your naked body. 
“I-In my drawer.” You point to your bedside table, eyes following him as he bends over you to open the drawer. You were practically drooling at this point, the thirstiest you've ever been and it was starting to become too real to be true. Haechan takes an unopened packet from the drawer, shutting it right after. Your eyes don't leave him as he sits back up and opens the plastic, a gulp going down your throat in anticipation. 
“If at any point you wanna stop, just let me know,” he says, sliding the condoms on. Haechan watches your facial expressions and body language. You were excited, he could tell. But you were also the most nervous he's ever seen you. “Listen,” he says softly. His fingertips glide on the inner side of your thighs, hands pushing your legs up by the back of your knees. “I want you to look at me the whole time. Can you do that?” 
The softness in the way he spoke felt a bit unfamiliar to you, you immediately softened nodding at his request. “Y-yeah.”
Haechan licks his lips, lining himself with you. A small gasp fell from your lips feeling his tip stretch you open. He pushed himself in a bit more, watching your face slowly contort silently. Haechan held your legs up to your chest, eyes never leaving the view of his dick disappearing between your legs.
“Fuck,” he sighed, the feeling of your tight pussy almost making him cum right then and there. He looks back up at your face, your eyes are closed, head resting on your pillow. Your glasses are crooked due to the position of your head, but it's sexy to him. 
Haechan starts thrusting in you slowly, eyes shut as he moves taking in the feeling. But you keep looking at him. You keep staring at the way the muscles in his arms slightly flex, you stare at the way his chest moves after every deep breath he takes. He must've known you were staring because he opens his eyes, staring at you fucked out face. 
“Youre.. you're so big,” you mumbled, voice shaky from the pleasure. 
Haechan opens his eyes, staring down at you through his bangs as he thrusted deeper. “Keep saying things like that, and you'll boost my ego.” He snaps his hips into yours, his dick reaching further into you. Haechan speeds up his movements, his hands gripping your legs tighter, pushing them closer to your chest. You tried you best to look at him, but with every movement, you felt your vision go blurry with pleasure. Your moans and whimpers filled the room accompanied with his grunts and the sound of the bed. 
Haechan lets go of your legs, letting himself fall onto your body. He held himself up, one hand on your hip and the other holding himself. You let your eyes close for one second, but Haechan is quick to slap your hip, making you open your eyes. You stare at him, raising your hand and fixing your glasses with your brows furrowed at the feeling of him inside you. 
“Don't look away,” he moans softly. “Keep looking at me..keep those eyes on me.” 
And you did, arms wrapping around his neck to pull him closer. Haechan lets out a small hiss feeling you squeeze around him. 
“Faster,” you moaned shakily, breath tickling his nose. Haechan melts when your face twists in pleasure, brows scrunching with every moment. 
“Fuck, right there,” you whimpers, pulling him closer. Haechan kisses you, you both moaning and grunting into each other's mouths. 
“You like this Y/N? You like when I fuck you good,” he groans, on your mouth.
“Yes, yes.” You nod fast, eyes stuck in his as he plows you into the mattress. The sound of your skin colliding, bed creaking, moans filling the air over stimulated you along with his raspy voice, saying the dirtiest things in your ear. 
He reaches up, removing your glasses from your face and throwing them somewhere on your bed. Too fucked out to even respond, you shut your eyes letting him bury his head in your neck, leaving wet kisses all over your skin. 
“I'm so close,” you moaned, legs starting to shake on either side of him. 
“Cum for me,” he grunts. “I want you to cum around my cock right now.” He reaches down between your bodies, fingers rubbing your clit fast. Haechan has had sex a million times, but nothing could compare to the way you felt squeezing around him. The way your moans rose in pitch when you came, the way you said his name. 
“Haechan,” you whispered, nails pressing into the skin on his back. “Oh my God, fuck..”
He kept fucking you into the mattress, chasing his own high right after yours. “Just a little more baby, fuck..”
You opened your eyes, brows furrowed as you watched his body rise, hands grasping your waist tight. His thumbs pressed into your sides, holding your body close to his while he plowed into you. Even blurry, he was a dream to look at. His hair hung in his face, biting his lip as he chased his orgasm. 
But better get, you looked like an angel underneath him. The sweat on your body, your face, hair, sounds. Perfect. His eyes followed your hand, watching them as one went to your nipple and the other went between your legs. 
“Fuck,” he kissed. The tight feeling in his stomach started getting tighter. Haechan’s jaw dropped, brows scrunched as he came, a strangled moan escaping his throat. 
Haechan stopped thrusting, pulling out of you after a couple of seconds. The both of you sat in the silence of heavy breathing, his hands still on your waist. You reached to grab your glasses, finding them on the blanket and putting them on lazily. That's when you look at Haechan, his blushed  cheeks, sweat on his forehead, trying to catch his breath. 
“Are you-”
“Can we-”
Both of you stop and look at each other. The air starts to feel heavy for some reason, the silence giving you time to think about what you were going to say. Can we go on a date?
You gulped at the way his eyes won't stop staring into yours. His lips part, eyes narrowing when he rubs his thumbs on your sides, soothing your very obvious nerves. 
“Say it,” he says softly, 
“Can we… be more than friends?” 
You blinked, Haechan staring at you with a blank expression. Suddenly he began laughing, hanging his head low after you spoke. 
“What,” you questioned, heart sinking into your stomach. 
“Why did you ask me that,” he chuckled, grinning from ear to ear at you question. 
You swallowed, expression hardening at his words. “Did I say something wrong?” 
Haechan noticed the tremble in your words and immediately stopped laughing, realizing that you were very much serious. Haechan leaned down, his body on yours and head in your neck. He kissed your skin softly, one hand holding him up while the other caressed your skin. 
You watch him, feeling yourself melting into his soft touch. His fingertips dragged along your abdomen, sending chills down your spine. “H-haechan,” you said softly. “Answer my question.”
Instead of answering you, he moved from your neck to your lips. He captured you in a soft, sweet kiss, turned deep and passionate. Something about the way he kisses you at the moment feels romantic, as if he's trying to communicate his feelings without speaking, but you need him to say it. You need him to speak to you.
Haechan pulled away from you, his eyes flickering between your eyes and lips. “Did that answer your question,” he said softly. 
You shook your head, making him laugh softly. “Answer.” 
He smiled, licking his lips before speaking. “I can be whatever you want me to be.”
“Well..” you paused before looking  up at him, eyes staring into his soul. The silence felt like an eternity between you both, but it soon disappeared when you spoke. 
“Can you be mine?”
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arieslost · 18 days
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home to you | op81
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oscar piastri x fem!reader
summary: oscar does what he should’ve done a long time ago.
word count: 2,978
warnings: healing sunburn right at the beginning, a touch of angst
masterlist — join my tag list here!
this is a PART TWO! read part one here :)
© arieslost 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.
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Your sunburn is peeling.
Oscar’s been watching you absentmindedly pick at it for the last ten minutes as you recount your day to him. He’s paying attention to what you’re saying, of course, but now he’s worried that you might accidentally hurt yourself.
“Stop doing that,” he says when you pause to catch your breath, reaching for his phone as if he could put his hand through and stop you himself.
“What?” You frown, and then look at your shoulder. “Oh, right. It’s weirdly satisfying though.”
“This is why you can’t go to the beach by yourself.” Oscar sighs. “You never put on enough sunscreen.”
“I know,” you reply quietly.
As much as both of you have tried, neither of you can help the awkward undertones that seep into every silence you share now. Oscar knows you love him, and you know that he doesn’t feel the same way.
You think he doesn’t feel the same way.
When he saw that look on your face that morning in the kitchen, it reminded him of the way he stared at you on prom night. Oscar didn’t get asked to the senior prom, but you did, and you had turned the offer down. Oscar asked you why, and you told him that you only wanted to go with him, otherwise you weren’t going. You’d dragged him back and forth from your table to the dance floor all night long, and it all would’ve faded into the mush of fleeting high school memories if your favorite song hadn’t come on. Oscar remembers every detail of how your eyes lit up, how you cried, “I love this song!” even though he knew you did, and how you’d grabbed his hands and started dancing with a refreshed energy. He felt like time had stopped and his world revolved around you, and it felt right.
So yeah, he knew the moment you gave him that look that not only did he still love you, but you finally, finally felt the same way. And, for the second time, he’d epically fucked it up.
He often wishes that he could go back and confess to you like he wanted to that night. You’d stayed over because you were too tired to drive home. You were both single. It was the perfect time. But now it’s four years later and he’s sitting in the hotel bathroom on the other side of the world, his girlfriend asleep in the hotel bed, and you on the other end of his phone screen picking at your sunburn that he could’ve prevented had he spent more time with you on vacation.
“You doing okay, Osc?” You ask, pulling on a hoodie of his that you stole from him before he left for his very first F1 race. “Aside from the races, I mean. I know you’re doing great with those.”
“Yeah, I’m alright.” The words come out with practiced ease. “I’d rather hear about how you’re doing though.” I miss you like you wouldn’t believe.
“I think I’ve told you everything like five times now,” you giggle. “I could tell you about the guy that came up to me in the grocery store this afternoon and took a painstakingly long time to ask for my number, but that’s not a long story.”
Oscar’s heart stops. “What?” He replies, teeth gritted, before he clears his throat and lightens his tone. “I mean, what?”
“Yeah, it was kind of strange. He started the conversation by asking me how you were doing, obviously, because you’re so cool and famous-” Oscar flips you off when you roll your eyes, and you laugh. “Anyway, I guess that was his icebreaker, because then he just abruptly segued into grilling me right there in the cereal aisle about my life and how he ‘couldn’t believe he’d never seen me before.’” You recount dramatically. “I’m telling you, Osc, it was nonstop cheesy line after cheesy line. I felt so bad for him I let him have my number.”
“So, he used me as an in and then harassed you until you gave him your number?”
You nod slowly. “Pretty much.”
“You better not actually be considering going out with this guy.” Oscar scoffs.
“Oh, no, I’m not!” You rush to clarify, and he can see a faint blush rising on your cheeks. “I mean, it’s not like I’m waiting for anyone-anything. He was just weird. I only gave him my number so he’d leave me alone… I blocked him when he texted me.”
“You’re horrible,” he starts laughing now, relieved that this guy never even stood a chance. “I love it.”
“You’re supposed to be encouraging me to get out there and find a boyfriend, loser. Brush up on the best friend manual.” You complain, pulling the hood over your head and hiding your face from him so he can’t see how much it hurts to think about finding someone that isn’t him.
He doesn’t notice anyway; he’s distracted by the sound of the covers moving and his girlfriend yawning.
You hear it too, and glance up at the camera. “You have to go?”
His heart breaks at how sad you look. “Yeah, sounds like she’s actually waking up this time. Sorry, honey.”
You shrug, and he knows you’re trying to appear unbothered. “It’s okay. We got, what, an hour and a half? That’s a whole extra 45 minutes or so.”
“You’re allowed to tell me how you really feel, y’know.”
“Damn it, Oscar. You just see right through me. I don’t know why I even bother.” You sigh, covering your face with your hands.
“I don’t know why, either,” he attempts to joke. “Look, I-”
“Oscar? Where are you?” His girlfriend calls, and you stiffen up at the sound of her voice.
“Be there in a minute!” He responds, turning his attention back to you. “I’ll call you again as soon as possible, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Bye, honey.”
“Bye, Osc.”
You hang up first.
“I love you,” he whispers to his blank phone screen, and gets up to start his day.
You say it back to your own blank screen and go to sleep.
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Oscar comes to the steadfast conclusion that he wants you and only you at his side at his home race, and not as a friend.
Breaking up with his girlfriend still looms over him. He lies awake for way too long at night trying to figure out the nicest way to do it, but his thoughts always end up taking a detour to you and how he wishes it was you sleeping next to him instead.
Despite the struggle going on in his mind, he goes through the motions of PDA with her for all the cameras and other drivers in the paddock to see. Lando is the only one who realizes what his issue is.
“Mate, you have to figure this out.” The older driver said out of the blue as they were lounging in McLaren hospitality after qualifying.
“Huh?” Oscar frowned at him, tearing his eyes away from his texts with you. “I know I fucked up that quali, but it’s not like I can’t improve.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about, you muppet.” Lando rolled his eyes, and said your name like it’s obvious. “You just have to break up with the girl you’re with now so you can have the girl you really want.”
“You say that like it’s so simple.” Oscar mumbled, looking at the text from you that had just come in.
Just focus on the race, Osc. Quali’s behind you, it doesn’t matter anymore. I’ll be cheering you on, what could possibly go wrong??
“It is, if you think about it. Besides, you’ve been acting so weird lately she might already think something’s up.”
“Gee, thanks. That makes me feel a lot better.” Oscar groaned, sinking lower into his chair.
“Always here for you, mate.”
“I was being sarcastic.”
“I don’t care.”
That enlightening conversation gets Oscar to finally work up the courage to tell his girlfriend those dreaded words following the race– “We need to talk.”
He waits until they’re in the hotel room after dinner to say it so there’s no audience, primarily because he knows that she’s prone to throwing fits when things don’t go her way. The memory of her losing her mind when he took you to breakfast during vacation comes screaming back to him at the speed of light.
She doesn’t say anything at first; instead, she takes her time removing her shoes and taking the pins out of her hair. Oscar can’t stand the silence, so he starts speaking again.
“It’s about-”
“I think I know what this is about.” She interrupts him.
“You do?”
“I’d have to be stupid not to know, Oscar. You’ve been off for the past few days, it’s only with me, and every time I wake up you’re hiding in the bathroom on the phone.” She holds up a hand when he opens his mouth. “I know it’s her, and I’ve known since that vacation. You don’t have to tell me.”
“You’re… you’re not gonna yell?” He can’t hide the surprise in his voice.
“It won’t get me anywhere, will it?”
“It never did.”
She smiles matter-of-factly. “I guess I have to work on that.”
She packs her things without argument. Oscar offers to buy her a plane ticket somewhere, but she waves him off and thanks him anyway before walking out the door.
The Australian Grand Prix is in two weeks. Oscar doesn’t think before he calls you.
“I’m coming home. I need to see you.”
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Your heart has been in your throat ever since Oscar called you this morning. He was so hasty that he didn’t even tell you when he was coming, so every little movement you see outside your window has you running to see if it’s him or not.
He doesn’t show up until almost 9:30 at night. You can hear the engine of his car as he flies through your neighborhood with practiced ease and nearly drifts into your driveway. Your stomach is jumping with nerves and excitement; you didn’t think you’d see him for another two weeks, and despite the awkwardness that your feelings have brought to your friendship, you want nothing more than to hug your best friend.
He starts impatiently knocking on the door as you nearly trip down the stairwell in your rush to let him in.
“Hold on!” You shout, fingers shaking as you unlock the door and wrench it open. “Are you trying to break my door?”
“Jokes later, let me hold you,” he says, reaching for you and meeting you in the middle of the doorway as he pulls you into his chest for a tight embrace.
You melt into him immediately, your arms wrapped around his neck and your nose pressed to the warm skin that peeks out of his hoodie. “I can’t believe you’re here,” you mumble, squeezing him.
He shivers, kissing the top of your head. “I’m here, baby.”
I’m sorry, baby. You think about that so much that it shouldn’t hurt anymore. It sobers your mood a little.
“Why, though?” You ask, pulling away a little to look at him. “Don’t you have things to be doing?”
“I may have forced them to clear my schedule by coming home without telling anyone.”
“Oscar!” You exclaim. “Why? You could get in trouble!”
“Can we talk inside?”
“Yeah, of course. C’mon.” You take his hand and lead him into your house.
He takes off his shoes, leaves his suitcase in the hall, and goes to your living room on autopilot, where he flops down on the couch and lets out a long breath. You sit next to him, knees bumping together as you look at him with a reasonable amount of concern. “You’re acting weird. What’s wrong with you?”
“I broke up with her.” He says, rolling his head to the side so he’s looking at you. “So, nothing’s wrong with me.”
“Bullshit, Osc, it seemed to me like you really liked her.”
“You didn’t, though.”
“Who cares what I think?” Your brain fully computes his words. “Wait- actually, no. I’m not even going to act surprised by the fact that you knew that.” You sigh.
“I care what you think. I care about you. A lot.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“I don’t think you do.” He sits up straighter now, turning his whole body to face you. “Like, in a romantic way.”
You blink at him a couple times. “No you don’t.”
“I don’t?” He repeats incredulously.
“You can’t. You don’t.” You say. “You’re lying.”
“I’m lying?” He says through a laugh. “You’ve known me your whole life. When have I ever lied to you?”
You press your lips together. The only time he’s ever lied to you is when he planned your surprise parties. “I’m gonna need you to do a really good job explaining yourself, otherwise I’m kicking you out. You can’t do this to me, Oscar, you know how I feel-”
“Yes, I do, and I’d love to explain if you’d stop spiraling for a second.” He interrupts, taking your hands to ground you.
You’re once again having the dilemma of wanting to push him away and pull him closer simultaneously. The pressure of his hands holding yours succeeds in calming you, so you allow it.
“The whole reason I knew how you felt in the first place is because of the way you looked at me in the kitchen. You didn’t notice, but I looked at you the exact same way at the prom.” He says, gauging your reaction by how your face contorts slightly as you try to remember the prom at all, aside from the fleeting memory of forcing him to slow dance with you. “That feeling like time stops? Like-”
“Like I got hit by a truck,” you recall, looking down as he runs his thumbs over your knuckles.
“Right.” He nods. “Look, the bottom line here is that I screwed up by not telling you then, and if I had, we would’ve been dating for years at this point and this conversation wouldn’t even be happening.”
You feel like you look like a fish out of water with how your jaw is opening and closing, searching for something to say in response. “Osc-”
“If this makes you change your mind, I get it.” He continues. “But the whole reason I came here is to tell you that I love you. I’m in love with you and I have been since we were 18.”
You go to muster up something to say in response when he says one more thing. “Oh, and I’m tired of only being able to see you through the phone. That’s the other reason.”
You can’t help it– that, paired with his polite cat smile, his flushed cheeks, and his confession has you dissolving into giggles. That quickly morphs into laughter that sends you leaning so far forward your head is practically in Oscar’s lap, but he doesn’t seem to mind because he’s laughing too.
“I hate you so much,” you gasp out, pushing yourself back up so you can look at him when you tell him the complete and total truth. “I’ve been in love with you since we were 14.”
“Shit, that means I have eight years to make up for, not four.”
“Sucks to suck.” You say, easily falling back into your age-old banter.
“You sound like Lando,” he says, wrinkling his nose. “And I was gonna ask if I could kiss you.”
“Ah, shoot. I ruined it.”
“Hmm, no. I’m gonna ask you anyway.” He shifts closer to you, brushing your hair out of your face with both hands. “Can I kiss you? Please?”
You start nodding before he even finishes asking, maybe too enthusiastically, but it’s Oscar. He knows you. He wants you. You don’t need to be embarrassed.
The press of his lips against yours is soft, gentle. You always thought that if you ever kissed Oscar it might be too weird, but the only thing you feel now is right.
It feels right to thread your fingers into his hair. It feels right to let him tug you closer, closer, closer, until you have no choice but to straddle him so you can be as close as he wants you. It feels right when his hands slip under your shirt and lightly run over the skin of your back, when his tongue meets yours, when you give his hair an experimental tug and he moans into your mouth.
The only thing wrong about it is that you have no choice but to break the kiss in order to breathe, but even then you don’t move far from each other, breaths mixing in the minimal space between you both.
“We could have been doing that for a long time,” Oscar sighs, throwing his head back against the couch.
“We have all the time in the world now that we stopped being idiots and confessed.” You point out.
“D’you think you can come to the race in a couple weeks? We can take it slow with this, no one needs to know… I just want you to be there.” He asks.
“Of course, Osc, are you kidding?” You run your hands over his shoulders and down to where his hands rest on your hips. “Though, if you win, I can’t promise no PDA or anything.”
“I’d expect nothing less from my girlfriend.” You can feel him tense up a little, like he’s expecting you to react negatively, but he relaxes immediately when your smile lights up your whole face and you kiss him again.
“I love you,” he whispers against your lips.
“I love you,” you whisper back.
No one else needs to hear it just yet. You only need to tell each other.
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note: i sincerely hope this made up for any tears i may have caused with the angst in the first part. this is the first time i’ve ever been inspired to write a part 2, and i think it’s because i desperately needed it to end happily. thank you so much for all the love on falling for you; i never expected it to get as much attention as it did!
requests are OPEN, and my inbox is always open for comments, criticism, and conversation! feel free to pop in!
reblogs are greatly appreciated <33
dividers by @/saradika !
tags (i’m sorry if i couldn’t tag you!): @venusacrossthestars @67-angelofthelordme-67 @emails-i-can-send @nelly187 @cixrosie @fangirl-dot-com @sainzluvrr @imheretoread @mellowarcadefun @yourbane @monsieurbacteria6 @c-losur3 @papayatori @ssprayberrythings @namgification @maih23 @evlkking @witchycarmen @ilovethispookie @maxverstappenfan79 @sya-skies @niallerswolf @fangirl-dot-com @hood-jabi @vellicora @k-pevensie28 @cami26cami @arian-directioner @vildetry06 @hauntedphotographybookstaco @bigheartsthings @northpizzasposts @notturlover @riv3rbank @gesfjjsl @oliveisunstable @lily1sposts @sadbut-true0 @lilcowboy0 @alltoowelltaylor @kimis-gloves @superheroreader @alexmarie29 @anedpev @lalalaphie @waitingforsmartpeople @arrowenchantress @zillygoose @its-cat-eyes @gxllumsriddles @fionaschicken @mrsgeorgerussell63 @bre013 @lizzypiastri @blldsnjs @samantha-chicago @homosexualjohnwayne @opheliabluewolff @catbat011 @drivelikeiido @what-is-happening-helpp @decafmickey @tania2748 @steviesscoops @annahowardsworld
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erwinsvow · 1 month
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𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞
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summary: rafe's realizing how much better he is now, ever since he met you
word count: 1.6k
now spinning: love song by lana del rey
author's note: can't think about anything else but rafe being happy n content.... eeeee <3
part of this little universe
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Rafe’s beginning to think you’re really good for him. 
It starts off pretty small—little things, here and there. The way he doesn’t go to bed completely angry and pent up anymore—that’s because you text him good night, every night, without fail. Even when he doesn’t say it first, even when he’s not on his phone and told you he’d be busy taking care of stuff with his dad all day.
After your first date, when you were sitting in the passenger seat of his truck—licking on an ice cream cone he’d bought you after dinner because the two of you were have a difficult time trying to find a reason to end the night—he opens up his phone to add your number to his contacts, and you hover over his shoulder, choosing little emojis to have next to your name and being very picky about it. 
When you finally decide on the perfect combination, he turns to look at your face, which is way too close to his. He decides then and there that you wanted to be kissed, because you’d never get so close if you didn’t. The truth was that you just couldn’t tear your eyes away from how the little blue heart and butterfly and flowers looked next to your name in his phone, but he doesn’t need to know that, not if he’s going to kiss you like that every time. 
And now whenever he picks up his phone and sees those little blue shapes, he feels better, instantaneously. 
So much so that he doesn’t yell at Wheezie and Sarah so much anymore. That’s another small thing— Rafe can’t even recall what he used to get so annoyed about, so angry that he’d pick fights over it. Sarah’s never home anyways, but when she is, you’re making conversation with her, smiling up at Rafe trying to involve him in the discussion about whatever the hell you guys talk about. 
Wheezie’s always home, and he actually realizes how funny she is, especially with you. He sits on the couch with his laptop, looking at things that you don’t understand and don’t really care about, while Sleepless in Seattle plays on the television.
You and Wheezie sit next to each other, half-eaten popcorn and candy scattered between you two, a box of tissues within reach because you told her they were absolutely necessary, even though she didn’t believe you.
Rafe only looks up when hears the unmistakable sound of you sniffling and crying—panicking briefly, trying to make sure he handles this correctly, properly, so he doesn’t scare you away—when he realizes it’s just the movie. 
He lets out a sigh of relief, of which you take note. You turn to hand Wheezie a tissue and then look back at Rafe, worried he’s going to be annoyed that you’re crying over this movie.
It’s silly, because he’s been nothing but nice to you, sweet as sugar all the time, but you remember what your friends used to tell you, the back-and-forth with Sarah, Wheezie’s comments about how much nicer Rafe’s been recently. How he’s been nicer since he met you. You look at him for a little, seconds passing by as your heart thuds in your chest. 
“I can’t believe this-” you hear Wheezie sob in the background, reaching for another handful of popcorn. “They just left!”
You almost turn away from Rafe just then, not wanting to see his reaction, when he closes his laptop and slides his body over to sit closer to you, one hand around your shoulder pulling you close and the other reaching to grab a clean tissue, holding it in his hand for you, for when you need it. You smile against his chest, clasping your hand around his. 
“You really cry over this crap, kid?” You whine, a muffled noise of protest spoken against his shirt, half-hearted. “We all knew they were gonna end up together.”
“Yeah, I guess we did,” you murmur, not paying attention to the movie anymore, eyes hyper-focused on the shiny metal of Rafe’s ring on his fingers. 
“Shut up, Rafe, I’m watching this-”
“You shut up, Wheeze, and pass the chocolate.”
It’s become a regular occurrence, actually, having you around at Tannyhill. You go through plenty of movies with Wheezie, occupying her time while getting to be with Rafe. You join them for their periodic family dinners, dolled up in your nicest clothes even though Rafe tells you it doesn’t matter. He wants you down there in his hoodie, but you refuse.
You want to make a good impression on Ward, you tell him, that it’s important to you if his dad likes you, if he approves of you, if he likes having you around. Rafe doesn’t get why you care—you’ll still be in his life whether Ward approves or not—but he plays along with it.
You wear pretty blue dresses and bring chapter books from the library for Wheezie and some history novels for his dad. You’re all smiles and conversation at their normally silent table, which he thinks is nice. Rafe still believes it would be nicer if it was just the two of you, but he doesn’t say anything. 
A picture constructs itself in his head—you and him at the dinner table of your house, the house you two will have together. You’d decorate everything all cute—he can picture it now—but he’s really focusing on when you and he can have these family dinners together, a couple of high chairs and pureed food and screaming toddlers running around. He doesn’t know where the image came from, probably from the sweet way you are with his family, but now it’s rooted itself like an infection that’s impossible to get rid of. He thinks of it, and feels better, and it must be obvious to everyone around him, but you never say anything.
It’s gotten to the point where even Ward notices it, though he refrained from commenting for as long as he could. Besides for dinner and the occasional Good morning sweetheart when you’re passing through the kitchen with Rafe, he doesn’t bother you two much. 
That’s why it really surprises Rafe when he brings you up one day.
“You seem… better, son,” his father says, and he wants to summon up some kind of retort to fire back, but nothing comes to mind. Maybe the impact you have on him is bigger than he thought. “It’s good. She’s good for you. Make sure you take care of her.”
He thinks for a second. There was a time where the first thing out of his mouth would be Don’t tell me how to treat my girl. 
“Yeah, I will. Thanks, dad.”
And then, suddenly, you’re everywhere, a part of everything. He can’t even sit in his truck without thinking of how you should be in the passenger seat. His house feels empty when you’re not curled on the couch trying to decide on what movie to rewatch for the millionth time. He can’t even find any insults for your stupid Pogue friends, because of course they want to spend time with you, when you make everything brighter like this. 
Rafe used to think it’d be humiliating to feel like this, actually being dependent on someone for once, acting and doing better because of you and feeling better even when you’re not there. He doesn’t feel humiliated at all though, he feels surprisingly content, despite everything that’s going on. It’s all background noise now. He feels even better when his door opens, and you make your way into his bedroom.
“Hey,” you say, setting down your bag on his desk. It lands with a thud, probably filled with your current read and another couple of books for his sister. “They all went down to the Chateau to smoke, so I just came over, I hope that’s okay-” You stop talking when you turn and see how he’s looking at you, getting up from his bed to walk up to you. “Rafe? You okay?”
You look at him real sweet, like you’re wondering what could be wrong and how you can help fix it. It’s precious, but he already knew that. His father’s words run through his head again—he has to make sure to take good care of you. 
“Perfect. Even better ‘cause you’re here now.” You shove your hand against his chest, letting out a breath of relief.
“You scared me,” you say with a laugh. You go back to your bag, rustling through it to produce three books, just like he guessed. He starts smiling when you turn around to offer it to him.
“Got one for you this time.” You're beaming, eyes looking at him expectantly.
“Thanks, kid,” he says, and he can’t help the smile that’s growing. He brings you in for a hug the way he always does, arm around your shoulder and guiding you to his chest, and you lean against him like that, holding on tight, breathing steady in his grip. Whatever anger and frustration was bubbling inside melts away with every passing second of touching your soft skin and smelling the scent of your hair. 
It’s no surprise when you two end up a tangled mess in bed hours later, your head resting above his heart, wrapped in his grip, while you start reading the book you got for Rafe aloud.
“Y’know what we should do?” he starts, quietly, interrupting you while you’re flipping to the next page. 
“Hm?” you murmur back, feeling your eyes fluttering shut without the book open and ready to read to distract you into staying awake. Rafe’s skin is warm and his grip is tight. You could fall asleep in seconds right now.
“Get married.”
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cherrycherryking · 1 year
Note
why hello there Cherry!! i hope you're having a great day 🥰💖
a little request if you're interested, but no pressure whatsoever - you should follow your heart with what you post 🥺💖 how about You being teased by another member of the Neighbourhood about your obvious crush on Wally? i think it's a really cute concept 🙈💖
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wally x gen!reader (romantic)
Being Teased About Your Crush For Wally
✧You're so bad at hiding it.
✧Sorry someone had to tell you. (actually everyone is letting you know.)
✧Okay but what do they expect when Wally is just so- him??? Do they not want you to giggle all lovestruck when he tried to search for the apples on a pie then nonchalantly going "there's no apples in here, silly."
✧Or when you found him looking at himself on a hand mirror and after asking he responded "im very pretty, so i'm looking at myself" so you accompanied him to also stared at him because yes he Is really pretty.
✧And if you jump at the opportunity to explain when he asks the weirdest things in that calm, monotone voice of him, who can blame you??
✧Everyone.
✧Well, not everyone, but Barnaby who usually is the one responding the questions surely will tease you about it (with the lamest jokes to pair it).
✧The worst would be Sally and Julie, specially Julie. Shes just sooo excited at the idea of her friends!!! being in love?!?!
✧WILL sing the kissing song anyways cause my god is this so fun, and you look so cute all flustered! Wants to play wingman so badly.
✧How funny would it be for the whole town to know but Wally about your crush.
✧A lot.
✧But there's always the possibility that he was the first to know but doesnt bring it up because. Is there a reason?? Hm, he likes to hang out with you and he as well thinks is pretty funny to see you red in the face,
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i remembered this song and the drawing just materialized on my screen guys!!! also. PLEASE go and check starleska's stuff!! it is all so good (literally first post of the wally x reader tag o7 thank you for your services)
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mrs-kmikaelson · 7 months
Text
Our Song and Dance³
Pairing: Finnick Odair x reader Summary: You'd grown used to dancing the same dance over and over again, the victor's dance, but then you start dancing with Finnick Odair and you feel things you never thought you'd feel. So you let yourself enjoy the dance, even though you knew that every song inevitably came to an end. Warnings: long, exploitation of minors, mentions of forced prostitution, suicidal thoughts, implied torture, violence, complicated relationships, complex mental health issues, and i involve finnick more in everything Words: 8.1K
Masterlist | Part 4
a/n: switching it up, so this part is from finnick's pov. it's basically mockingjay one, then i'll do one more part for mockingjay 2. ly guys!
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Finnick Odair was not sure that love existed. Or, at least he wasn’t. He could barely remember what his parents looked like, let alone if they loved each other. But he had Mags; she proved to him that love existed because he loved her. It was the falling in love that he was unsure about.
And then he met Annie Cresta and it was like he suddenly understood. Yes, this was what the poets were talking about. This was love. 
But they couldn’t be together.
He was being sold off all the time, taking countless visits to the Capitol. He couldn’t endanger her like that, let her get involved in the fucked up world he lived in. So he didn’t. He loved her from afar, knowing they’d never really be together.
He thought it’d end there, but then one night, he saw you. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was all his own will, but he walked up to you. He’d seen you at these events before, back home, and on TV, but standing there so close to you, it was like it was just hitting him how beautiful you were.
You were a victor, too. But he realized just how alike you were when he watched as you left a hotel room, in the same state as him. After that, it was you who took a chance on him until he almost looked forward to coming to the Capitol, just to see you.
You weren’t Annie. You didn’t remind him of what poets had written. No, he couldn’t describe you or what you meant to him in just words. What he grew to feel for you over time wasn’t akin to anything he’d ever read. This was so much more than that.
He loved Annie, he always would, but being with you made him realize what it was like to be in love.
But he never told you this, never said any of it out loud out of fear that he’d lose you.
Now he lost you, anyway.
The doors to his hospital room opened. He knew it was Katniss, but he didn’t say anything, staring right at the ground in front of him.
If he looked hard enough, he could see your face.
“Finnick.”
He looked up from his feet, but still didn’t look at her. He already knew what she looked like, and it wasn’t much better than him.
She was mad at him. She’d barely spoken to him since they got to 13, but he knew that she couldn’t have been much more mad at him than he already was at himself.
His voice was quiet when he spoke. “I wanted to go back for them—for Peeta, and Johanna, and Y/N… but I- I couldn’t move.” He twiddled his fingers with the rope in his hands, wishing it was your hand he was holding, but he wasn’t. You weren’t there. He left you.
He finally looked up at Katniss. She looked both emotionless and so emotional at the same time, lifeless but alive. “I- I love her, y’know?” He looked back down at the knot he was tying, sniffling involuntarily.
He was trying to keep it together, but without you, that was like trying to fix a broken glass without any glue. 
You were the glue that held him together.
And now the Capitol had you.
The words left his lips without much thought. “I wish she was dead.” He chose to stare at a spot on the ground instead of looking at Katniss’ reaction. His chest tightened. “I wish they were all dead and we were, too.”
If they had died, then at least they wouldn’t have been going through this, having to live but feeling so dead, anyway.
Katniss was silent until he eventually heard her leave the room.
There were words she didn’t say that still floated around the room, agreement that she didn’t voice. She was just as broken as him, holding on for dear life. He hoped that she’d keep holding on.
He had to have hope. He had to have hope that he’d see you again, that this wasn’t all for nothing, that they could build a better world that you could both live in. He needed to hope.
That hope was the only thing that kept him holding on, too.
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He was in the cafeteria, sitting next to Katniss and Annie when it happened. The fanfare started playing, Caesar Flickerman’s face coming to the screen. He scoffed, tuning out and looking back down at the food on his plate, swishing it around. Recently, it had been hard for him to work up an appetite.
He looked back up when Katniss grabbed his hand, hers trembling. He soon realized why.
It was Peeta, on the Capitol TV.
Katniss got up, walking to the TV and standing right in front of it, shocked. He would’ve gotten up and followed her, tried to console her, but it was as if he was paralyzed.
Peeta was on the TV.
And you were nowhere in sight.
He heard the conversation that had everyone on the edge of their seat through muffled ears. Peeta didn’t look exactly like himself, but he still looked like the golden boy Panem fell in love with. It was so obvious that the Capitol was using him, playing him like a puppet, but what confused him was that they were using him and not the much more powerful weapon they had in their arsenal.
You were the Princess of Panem. Plutarch and Coin knew that; that’s why they wanted you. Katniss could light a fire, but if they also had you, then together you could cause an explosion. If the Capitol wanted to sway public opinion, why wouldn’t they just use you, someone who the people trusted and adored?
Suddenly, his stomach fell.
If they weren’t using you, then it was because you weren’t in a condition to be shown to the public.
He felt a hand on his, turning his head to see it was Annie, looking at him with a sympathetic expression. As if she could hear his thoughts, the smallest of sad smiles grew on her lips.  “It’s gonna be okay, Finnick,” she whispered. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
How the tables had turned. Now it was her assuring him.
In that moment, he understood Annie like never before.
Because he wasn’t so sure she was right.
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After Peeta’s interview, Finnick didn’t leave his room much. He’d lie in bed and stare up at the ceiling, pretending that you were there with him. He could withstand the silence if he had you by his side.
But now, the silence was deafening.
Sometimes, he didn’t hear a thing. Other times, your voice would fill the gaps, memories of you flashing before his eyes like a movie. Sometimes, they weren’t memories at all. Sometimes, he imagined a different life for you where you were both happy, in love.
And, sometimes, he imagined what they could’ve been doing to you in the Capitol.
Whenever these awake-nightmares got too vivid, he’d find Katniss and sit with her, knowing she must have been going through the same thing. It was what you would’ve done, what you did with him and Johanna.
You wouldn’t have wanted them to suffer alone.
The next time he was around everyone else, it was per Coin’s request. She announced to them all that Katniss agreed to be The Mockingjay and that, in return, she’d look for an opportunity to extract you, the victors that had been taken.
Katniss moved next to him. “Finnick, I made the deal for Y/N, too.”
It was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Hope—this was hope.
“Good,” he said. For the first time since he left the arena, he smiled. “That’s good, Katniss.” A small chuckle left him.
Maybe he’d get a chance to make those dreams of his a reality.
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With a newfound ardour, Finnick threw himself back into the ring instead of avoiding the fight like he had been, sitting in on meetings and doing whatever he could to make this work. He would see you again; he’d make sure of it. 
He went with the propo team to 8, watching as the Girl on Fire did exactly what they’d all been waiting for her to do. He wasn’t the only one that was hopeful—so were people in the districts, the people in 13.
They played her propo at the next assembly. The crowd cheered, but as he stood with The Mockingjay herself on the sidelines, she didn’t look so cheerful. Finnick understood this, he understood it well, but he couldn’t afford to think like that with your life hanging in the balance.
She shouldn’t have to either, he thought.
He leaned closer to her, quizzing, “You don’t like hearing a fight song at a funeral, huh?” She looked up at him almost in the same way she did when he made that joke in the arena. At the memory of your response, a small smile arose on his face. “The more people on our side, the closer we are to Peeta and Y/N,” he reminded her.
She nodded, muttering, “Yeah,” and then turning back to the crowd. She didn’t look so convinced, but he left it there, knowing she was coping with this in her own way.
If Katniss loved Peeta even half as much as he loved you, then he’d let her do whatever she felt comfortable with.
But at the end of the day, it was love that kept them both going.
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The next time Peeta was on TV, it was a wake up call for everyone. He didn’t look so refined anymore, so clean. There were bags under his eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept or eaten in days.
If this was what Peeta looked like and they still had him on TV, then what about you? 
A bile rose in his throat. He ran to the nearest trash can and threw up whatever they served that morning for breakfast, your face flashing underneath his eyelids. You weren’t smiling like in the dreams he had, but screaming.
He knew you weren’t dead, that the Capitol wouldn’t kill you, but when he pictured your face, you didn’t look so alive.
Oh, he wished he could’ve made you smile more. But in the world you lived in, sometimes it was too hard to even do that.
That’s why we’re doing this, he reminded himself. We’re trying to build a better world. But there were no words that Coin could say to shake the guilt he felt, guilt for leaving you, guilt for being the reason this happened to you. There was no band-aid he could put over this wound, no pills that could kill this pain.
But he had to push through it, and he couldn’t do that by sitting in his room by himself; every time he closed his eyes, he saw you. So he went to Katniss’ room, finding her in a position so similar to his own.
That was the man she loved on TV, even if she hadn’t come to terms with her feelings. She must have been just as guilty as him, if not more so. Finnick could remember a time when he rejected his feelings for you, too, scared of caring for somebody, scared of this happening.
He went through the Hunger Games and the Quarter Quell, being sold when he was only sixteen, but falling in love with you was the scariest thing he’d ever experienced.
If that’s how Katniss felt, then he didn’t want her to be alone, not when she reminded him so much of you.
So he sat next to her in silence, letting all of the words he wanted to say hang in the air, hoping that she heard them. They sat there wordlessly until Gale came in, telling them it was time to go, that they were going to 12.
It was only when he was about to leave that he finally spoke, deciding that these were words he had to make sure that she heard, words that he needed to hear, too.
“We’re gonna get them back, Katniss.” 
She looked at him, forming somewhat of a smile and nodding. After staring at her for a few seconds, he left the room, going to get ready.
She didn’t know it, but the entire hovercraft ride on the way to 12, he repeated those same exact words to himself over and over again.
We’re gonna get them back.
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While nothing could really ease Finnick’s worries, seeing the people fight back certainly helped. The revolution was picking up traction. The videos they shot in 12 had moved people so much that they were willing to put themselves at risk, just out of hope for a better Panem.
If they could do that, then he could, too.
He wondered if you knew about any of this, if you were even aware of what was happening or if the Capitol was just keeping you in the dark. Did you know? Did you hear Katniss sing?
Did it remind you of him the same way it reminded him of you?
He had so many questions, and so little answers.
Rebels in district 5 bombed a hydroelectric dam, cutting power in the Capitol. Not long after, Peeta Mellark was back on TV, talking about it. He no longer even looked like himself. He didn’t look like a victor, but like someone who had lost.
But Finnick supposed that was what a victor was.
Beetee managed to get through the Capitol’s firewall, cutting Peeta off with Katniss’ propo. They watched as tears filled his eyes on screen.
That was the first time he looked like himself.
Are you, are you comin’ to the tree?
He faltered. “Katniss?”
Finnick watched as Katniss got closer to the screen, shaking her head. She saw it, too. She saw the man that went into that arena with them.
But then, like a victor would, his mask went back up so quickly. 
“The attack on the dam was a callous and inhuman act of destruction-”
Where a dead man called out for his love to flee.
Peeta inhaled shakily, his lips so slightly quivering. “Think about it,” he said. “How will this end? What will be left?” Finnick walked closer to the screen, like he was caught in a trance. Peeta’s previously calm façade had broken and was replaced with someone who looked stricken by panic. “No one can survive this. No one is safe now. Not here in the Capitol.” He shook his head. “Not in any of the districts.” 
He stopped, looking right into the camera as if he was staring into Katniss’ eyes. He may not have known it, but he was.
“They’re coming, Katniss. They’re gonna kill everyone.” They heard quick footsteps behind the camera as Peeta rushed to get his words out. “And in district 13 you’ll be dead by morning-”
Then the camera cut out.
Finnick didn’t know what to say, glancing over at Katniss to see her cupping her mouth in shock.
Haymitch was much more calm. With Katniss spinning out, he had to be. “He’s warning us. That was a warning.” Behind him, Boggs said something in agreement.
Katniss looked to have gotten over her shock, frantically turning and fretting, “We have to get him out before they kill him.” She was ignored.
What about you? he wondered. Where did this leave you? But right now, what they needed to worry about was where it left them.
Otherwise, you wouldn’t have anything to come home to.
“It’s time for an air raid drill.” Seconds after Coin spoke, an alarm went off. Everyone that’d been fixed to their spot in the room was up, like they’d been preparing for this for a lifetime, and from what he heard, they had been.
Katniss went running, searching for her sister while he went looking for Annie and Mags, grabbing them and descending down the stairwell as soon as he saw them. Adrenaline pumped through his veins, his mind blank, just as it was in the arena.
If he let his thoughts take control, then he’d lose it, and he couldn’t do that right now. He couldn’t slip up right now with what was at stake.
It was your life on the line.
He couldn’t lose you.
But a part of him knew that, the second you were in Snow’s hands, the you that he knew was lost forever.
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Down in the bunker, Finnick sat on the bottom bunk with Mags off resting by herself while Annie had fallen asleep at the top. Sometimes, with her episodes, it was easy to forget that she was a victor, too, that she had danced the same dance you had. But she was, and she was dancing like never before.
He could tell that she had been trying hard to keep it together, but with all of the panic and the noise, it was hard. She fell asleep easily. 
Although the bunker was pretty quiet, his thoughts were still so loud. The last time he saw you played out in his head. He could still taste your lips on his, still feel your soft skin, still see your beautiful eyes.
I’ll see you at midnight?
Yeah, I’ll see you at midnight.
But he didn’t. He never saw you again. He would’ve never let you go if he’d known then what’d happen. He would’ve held you longer, kissed you longer. He would’ve told you he loved you.
If he’d known this’d happen, he would’ve told you long before The Games. The truth was, he couldn’t pinpoint exactly when he fell in love with you. It had always been Annie for him, and you were just there.
But that was exactly it. You were there. You were always there. 
Maybe he started falling for you after the first time you slept together. Maybe it was after your fifth time mentoring together. Maybe it was after the time he had a nightmare and you let him hold you. Maybe it was after you smiled, and really smiled, for the first time since you decided to start pretending to be a couple. He couldn’t be sure, but somewhere along the way, you became so much more to him than just Y/N Y/L/N, Princess of Panem and victor of the 67th Hunger Games.
You became the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
He just wished he could’ve told you that.
He was pulled out of his thoughts when someone walked up to him. “Hey.” He looked up, seeing Katniss. She looked beat, her voice quiet. “Can I sit?”
He nodded, moving over so she could sit next to him. She had her family down here, that’s why he hadn’t gone over to her, but he understood why she was coming to him. After going through what they went through, it was easier to be around people who went through the same thing, who were going through the same thing.
Like she was reading his mind, she asked, “Are you thinking about her?”
There wasn’t any need for further explanation. Truthfully, he answered, “Yeah,” looking down at the ground. Every moment he had that wasn’t dedicated to this revolution was spent thinking about you.
After a second, she spoke up again. “Snow’s using her to punish you. He’s taunting us with them.” She scoffed a little. “I didn’t understand that until just now watching that stupid cat.”
She was right. This wasn’t just about propaganda. This was about Snow’s little puppets misbehaving.
So now he was showing them that, even in 13, he still owned them. He still owned Finnick. He still owned Katniss. He still owned Johanna. He still owned Peeta. And he still owned you.
He was using you against him because he knew how much you meant to him, the same way he knew how much Peeta meant to Katniss, even if she didn’t see that herself.
Finnick sighed, debating on whether or not he should say what he was thinking or keep it to himself before deciding that he had held enough in, that holding his thoughts in had never done him any good. So he turned to Katniss and started, “I- Y/N and I, we hadn’t met until after she won her Games. We weren’t really friends, at first, but rumours start fast in the Capitol, especially when ‘royalty’ is involved.” He humourlessly chuckled. “People were saying that we were dating, and so she- she thought the best thing for us to do was to let them believe it, let them have their love story. The alternative, two people coping together- that was a lot darker than what the Capitol could handle.”
She tilted her head, furrowing her brows. He watched as she put it all together. “Wait, are you saying that…”
He nodded. “Yes. It was fake. Our love story was just that: a story.” Surprise was painted all over her face.
“But… you told me that you love her.”
A ghost of a smile came to his face. “I do. I love her. It wasn’t like that at first, but over time, I fell for her, Katniss.” He saw a look pass over her face: understanding. What he was describing wasn’t just you and him; it was her and Peeta. “Y/N and I, we learned how to play the game. If anyone could spot a fake relationship, it was us. After your first Games, we thought your whole romance was an act. We expected you to continue that strategy. But it wasn’t until Peeta’s heart stopped and he nearly died that… I knew I’d misjudged you. You love him.”
Katniss looked away, like what he was saying was something she’d never even considered. It was so clear to everyone that she loved him, everyone but herself.
“I’m not saying in what way,” he added, understanding her feelings so well because he’d right where she was. “Maybe you don’t even know yourself. But anyone paying attention can see it.” He maintained his stare, even as she looked away.
With the life they lived, you didn’t want to give yourself to love, to admit that to yourself, to allow yourself to be vulnerable. But you could only hide a love so strong for so long.
She swallowed, gaze still aimed at the floor. “How do you live with it?”
You’re asking the wrong person, he thought, but that wasn’t an acceptable answer. That wasn’t the answer she was looking for. Right now, Katniss was lost; he needed to point her in the right direction.
Even if he still had trouble doing that for himself.
He paused for a moment, searching for the right words to say. “I drag myself outta nightmares and there’s no relief in waking up,” he confessed. “But I- sometimes, when I’m awake, I let myself dream about her.” Finally, she looked over to him. “I dream that, one day, when this is all over, we’re living in a better world, happy.” The corners of his lips quirked up at the thought. “It’s hope, Katniss. That’s how I live with it.”
Katniss eyes were dull, red, tired, but even in the darkness of the bunker, he was able to see a tiny spark light up in her eyes.
Hope.
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They’d fallen asleep in the bunker along with everyone else until Finnick woke up to Boggs shaking him, telling him that they had to go. Coin wanted Katniss to get in front of the camera, tell Panem that they were still standing after the attack.
But, as soon as they stepped outside, he watched her fall apart.
Roses.
A rose?
They’re a Capitol favourite.
You hated roses. Looking at them himself, he couldn’t even blame Katniss. He felt sick, too.
She couldn’t do it. She was almost hysterical, so of course Boggs let her go. They couldn’t put her on TV when she was like this. But they also didn’t have time to wait.
With Katniss gone, Haymitch and Boggs pulled him aside to a briefing room, getting started on a new plan.
“Okay, what are we doing?”
They gave each other a look, much like the look Plutarch and Haymitch traded right after the Quell, like they knew something he didn’t, like they were getting ready for him to explode.
“Finnick, the dam that went down in district 5 cut power in most of the Capitol,” Haymitch started. “Their defences are down—Beetee’s gonna be able to get in now.”
His brows furrowed. He already knew that. 
Sensing his confusion, Boggs cut in, “We’ve gotten word that the victors are in the Tribute Centre.”
Suddenly, it was like his heart stopped.
You were coming home.
He echoed his thoughts. “You’re going to get them?”
“Yes, I’ll be leading the mission-”
“Well, I’m coming.” Again, they both shared a look, like they were expecting him to say that, and why wouldn’t they? You were his girlfriend; of course, he wanted to be there to save you. 
“Finnick-”
He cut Boggs off a second time, repeating himself, “I am coming with you.”
“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.”
He scoffed. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Finnick-”
“If you’re going to get Y/N, then I’m coming with you-”
“You are too valuable to this revolution for them to let you go,” Haymitch said, but Finnick really couldn’t give a damn about whatever reason they threw at him. You were all he could think about.
“I’m not just gonna sit here and do nothing while they’re being rescued,” he retaliated. For over a month, sitting around and doing nothing was practically all he’d been doing, fantasizing about you, unknowing of when he’d see you again or if he’d ever see you again, trying to imagine what you could’ve been going through.
He couldn’t just stand by while you were in a live or die situation.
If you died- no, he cut his thoughts off, refusing to finish the sentence.
You couldn’t die.
Haymitch sighed, glancing away before looking back at him. His eyes were always hard, but at that moment, Finnick saw flashes of sympathy. “You won’t be doing nothing.”
His eyes slightly narrowed. “What do you mean?”
The two shared another look before he told him, “Katniss can’t record right now. But you can.”
Another scoff left his lips, an incredulous look on his face as his voice was laced with sarcasm. “You want me to film a propo while you save Y/N?”
Haymitch didn’t respond right away, just staring at him like he was trying to properly articulate his words. The way he was looking at him unnerved him, like whatever he was gonna say could shatter him into a million pieces.
“Not a propo, Finnick,” he finally said, hesitation evident in his tone. “It’s a lot more than that.”
And, as Haymitch explained to him what they wanted him to do, Finnick learned just how much more that was.
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Finnick Odair. That was a name synonymous with royalty, luxury, desire. Before he even met you, that was the name he’d built for himself—or, rather, the name that was thrusted into his arms.
A sex symbol.
When you won your Games, he could remember listening to the Capitol chatter. Stunning, refined, intelligent: a princess. You both already had so much in common, both from the same district, both so young when you won, but suddenly, as he watched you leave that hotel room that night in the Capitol, he realized that you had much more in common than he thought.
You were one and the same.
Those nights you spent together in the Capitol, out in the cold, you were silent. And then, even as you spoke to big Capitol fishes and gave speeches, you were still silent then, too, never speaking out about the injustices you’d been faced with.
Now, Finnick stood outside in the darkness, cold, but this time, you weren’t next to him. You weren’t next to him, and that was because Snow took you.
So he wasn’t going to stay silent anymore.
You deserved better than that.
He glanced around, almost as if he was trying to tell if his surroundings were real, if he was really doing this. 
He looked back when Cressida called his name, a careful look on her face. “Yeah,” he said, conveying he was okay without saying it, even if he really wasn’t. 
She didn’t look very convinced, but she still responded, “Okay.” She paused. “Take your time. Just remember to keep talking and don’t stop.”
He lightly nodded, looking up in front of him, seeing his breath in the air. For a moment, he was silent, but that moment didn’t last long. 
He had been silent for far too long already.
“This is Finnick Odair. Winner of the 65th Hunger Games,” he introduced himself, even though he knew that anyone watching must have recognized him right away. “And I’m coming to you from district 13, alive and well. We’ve survived an assault from the Capitol,” he recited. “But I’m not here to give you recent news.”
What he was going to tell them was much more than news about this rebellion. What he would reveal was about a war that’d started long before this rebellion ever did.
“I come with something much more valuable.”
I haven’t dealt in anything as common as money in years.
Well, then how do people pay for the pleasure of your company?
“The truth. The truth about being a victor, about being royalty.” Bitterness seeped through his tone. “Not the myths about a life of luxury. Not the lie about glory for your homeland.” He looked straight at the camera. “You can survive the arena. But the moment you leave, you’re a slave.”
We will never be free, Y/N.
He took in a breath before he spoke his next words, knowing that they held power stronger than a weapon. He may as well have been pointing the gun at his own head. But if he had to get burned to burn down the Capitol, then he would do it. He would do it a thousand times over.
And so would you.
“President Snow used to sell me. Or my body, at least. I wasn’t the only one.” Your face flashed in his mind. “If a victor is considered desirable, the President gives them as a reward or allows people to buy them. If you refuse, he kills someone you love.” Johanna.
It’s not fair. He killed her family. She said no, and he killed her family.
I know. It’s not fair, I know.
It was never fair. No riches or glory could ever be enough to compensate for that.
“To make themselves feel better, my patrons would make presents of money or jewelry. But I found a much more valuable form of payment.” The corners of his lips upturned slightly to form a small, humourless smile. “Secrets.”
The secrets he knew had the power to rip apart the Capitol’s so called “peace” at the seams. For him, for Katniss, for Johanna, for Peeta, for Annie, for you—this peace had fallen apart ages ago.
Katniss was forced to become the voice of thousands when she could barely do that for herself. Johanna turned to rage. Peeta turned to charm. Annie lost her mind. And you… what about you? 
It was about time that this peace was destroyed. It was about time that people understood exactly what victors really lost. And that Panem’s monsters weren’t hiding under the bed.
They were sitting on thrones.
“See, I know all the depravity, the deceit, and the cruelty of the Capitol’s pampered elite. But the biggest secrets are about our good President, Coriolanus Snow.” The biggest monster of them all. “Such a young man when he rose to power. Such a clever one to keep it. How, you may ask, did he do it?” He paused, looking right at the camera as if he was looking right into Snow’s eyes.
He hoped he was watching.
He hoped he was watching as they burned the Capitol to the ground.
“One word.” He lit the match. “Poison.” And then he dropped it.
“He stopped every mutiny before it even started. There are so many mysterious deaths to adversaries. Even to allies who were threats.” He could remember being at one of those dinners, watching a man fall onto his plate, his life over so quickly.
Once you were on the playing board, it didn’t matter how powerful you were. To Snow, you were all just pawns that he could knock off the board easily.
Not anymore.
“Snow would drink from the same cup to deflect suspicion. But… antidotes don’t always work, which is why he wears roses that reek of perfume. Help cover the scent of blood from sores in his mouth that will never heal.”
When Finnick learned this, he could remember the feeling he had, the satisfaction in knowing that a man who had spilled so much blood was bleeding himself. It was karmic.
How ironic was that?
“But he can’t hide the scent of who he really is,” he continued, remembering Cressida’s words. Don’t stop. “He kills without mercy. He rules with deception and fear. His weapon of choice is the only thing suited to such a man. Poison.” He scoffed. 
“The perfect weapon for a snake.”
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Moments after Finnick’s last words, they were off the air. Cressida’s hand went to her ear, a dark look passing over her face. The Capitol air defence system’s coming back online, she said, and she didn’t get to say much else before he went running inside.
Much like every other day he’d spent in 13, your face came to his mind, but this time was different. This time, they went in to save you.
What if they couldn’t?
No, they had to bring you back- they had to.
He ran and ran until he got to ops, seeing Katniss crying in Haymitch’s arms. As soon as she saw him, she latched onto him and he reciprocated her hug tightly. He had to hold on. He had to.
He wouldn’t survive the fall if he let go.
He knows, he knows they’re in the Tribute Centre, she cried, and then for the second time that day, his heart stopped. He knew. Snow knew about the rescue mission.
His ears rang, eyes going blurry. And then things got a little blurry after that, too. Eventually, he ended up back in his room by himself. He didn’t know how he got there, but he did. All he could hear was your voices in his head.
No, you are coming home-
Finni-
We are both coming come. We are both coming home, Y/N, I swear.
He was supposed to protect you. He promised. He promised you that you would both make it home. But now where were you? You weren’t with him.
You never came home.
At one point, Annie came in, trying to be of some consolation, but she ended up leaving, unable to get through to him. He couldn’t hear her over your conversations that replayed in his head on a loop.
I told you. I’m not letting you die.
A tear raced down his cheek. He knew that you were maybe still alive, that you still had a chance, but that didn’t matter. It was never supposed to get to this point. He was never supposed to let it get to this point, a point where you could be dead.
He was supposed to bring you home.
Yeah, I’ll see you at midnight.
The doors suddenly slid open and Katniss walked in, breaking him out of his spell. He wiped the tears that’d fallen, clearing his throat. “Is there any news?”
Solemnly, she shook her head. “No.” He sighed as she sat down next to him, a big exhale leaving her lips, too. Both of them had passed the point of exhaustion, but it wasn’t like they could rest. Finnick wasn’t sure that he could sleep if he tried.
With this song playing so loudly, how could he?
Katniss was dancing the same dance as him, fighting the same battles. The man she loved was out there, too. She must have been just as scared as him.
They sat in silence for a while until she broke it, her voice raspy and just above a whisper. “Finnick?”
He turned to see her looking down at the ground. “Yeah?”
“I-” she stammered. It was only when she looked up at him that he saw the look in her eyes and knew why she was so nervous.
He shook his head. “It’s fine-”
She scoffed. “No, it’s not- it’s not fine-”
“Katniss-”
She cut him off. “I’m sorry.” Her words made him swallow. He knew she was going to speak them, but for some reason, hearing them was so different, surreal. She exhaled again, maintaining eye contact. “I am sorry.”
Finnick looked away. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate her apology, but he felt uncomfortable, looking into her eyes and just seeing the pure sorrow, pity. No, Katniss hadn’t been through exactly what he had, but at that moment, looking into her eyes was like looking into a mirror.
He couldn’t handle that right now, not when he stood at the top of the tallest mountain in the world and had such a long way to fall, everything to lose. 
He nodded, accepting her apology without words. It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know, she didn’t know him back then. She hadn’t been a victor long enough to know yet. If anything, he was glad that she didn’t get to know their world, that she wasn’t sucked up by the same darkness that took you and him.
He was glad that her and Peeta got time in the sun, even if it was only for a little while.
“Y/N…” At the sound of your name, he turned back to her, seeing her brows furrow, eyes glazed over. “When I met her, she said something to me.” Realization flashed across her face as she looked up. “Was- was she-”
He cut her off, “Yeah. Yeah, she was.” When he blinked, he saw you walking out of that hotel room, the look on your face. He’d never forget the way you looked at him that night.
May the odds be ever in your favour, darling.
“There were more,” he admitted. “Any victor that the Capitol found desirable was taken. Annie only couldn’t because of her madness. Johanna-” a humourless chuckle left his lips. “Johanna refused, and her entire family paid the price.” He look back to Katniss to see that her mouth had fallen open, a look of horror on her face. “You and Peeta were spared because you were together. Hell, that’s the reason Y/N and I got together, to escape all this. And now look where we are.”
With you on the verge of dying and Finnick on the verge of losing everything.
You. You were his everything.
And you didn’t even know it.
“I never told her, Katniss.” He was breathless, like the wind had been knocked out of him. He’d realized this before, knew that he made a mistake, but now it was like he was realizing that he may never get the chance to correct it. “I- I never told her I loved her.”
I’m your girlfriend now?
Oh, come on, Y/N. You can’t be serious right now.
I am so serious right now.
You had no idea. You had no idea that you were the reason he kept living, that you were the reason he kept going, even when it hurt so badly. He’d walk through Hell if he could get to Heaven and be with you.
But what if you never knew that?
What if you died without knowing how he felt about you?
Katniss grabbed onto his hand. He looked to see tears welling in her eyes. “You will,” she whispered. “Hope, Finnick. You need to have hope.”
“Hope,” he echoed. Just like how he saw your face, he was able to see a future just as easily. It was so clear. That better world that Coin went on about, the better world that they were fighting for… it was just within their grasp. He nodded, managing to form somewhat of a smile. “Hope.”
He needed that, now more than ever. If he ever wanted to make it to that better world, to live in it with you, then he had to have hope—hope for the both of you.
Katniss didn’t say much after that; neither did he. Both of them were reflecting on their own, still trying to process all the turmoil that the day had caused. He spent his time thinking of you, imagining that better world.
In a better world, you and Finnick would’ve never been sold. You would’ve met, and he would’ve gotten the chance to fall in love with you the right way. He wouldn’t have been so scared to tell you. You would’ve given back to the community, not taken kids to their deaths.
You would’ve been so happy together.
But that wasn’t the world you lived in.
In the world you lived in, you and Finnick were sold at ages far too young. First, you sold your souls by winning The Games, and then your bodies were sold to people who had no business touching you.
In the world you lived in, you were only brought together because of tragedy. You only dated to try and save yourselves from a much greater evil, not because you loved each other.
In the world you lived in, Finnick fell in love with you. But he couldn’t tell you that, not when his biggest fear became losing you.
But in the world you lived in, he lost you, anyway.
So he had to have hope that a better world was possible- he had to. Not having that was another blow he wasn’t sure he could take.
When imagining your better world turned into reminiscing over all that’d happened to you both, he cut his thoughts off. He couldn’t let himself stop and break down now, not when he was so close to the finish line, so close to you.
So he pulled rope from his pocket, tying the same knots over and over again, a habit he’d picked up at a young age. Focusing on the knots was able to take his mind off everything, allowing white noise to play instead of this song.
He didn’t want to hear it without you.
He did this until he lost track of time. It was only when the doors slid open again that he was broken out of his trance. Katniss perked up right away. It was Haymitch behind the door, looking as enthusiastic as Finnick had ever seen him. “They’re back.”
She gasped, getting up and running right away, but it was as if Finnick was cemented to his spot. They’re back. 
You were back.
Just like that, he was shaken out of his shock, standing and quickly catching up with them.
They ran until they were in the medical area. As soon as they got there, he saw Johanna, ripping an IV out of her arm. Her hair was gone, shaven off, bruises all over her pale, pale face.
“Johanna,” Katniss muttered, but Finnick’s attention was elsewhere, eyes darting around the room, searching for you, heart racing.
And then he saw you.
His eyes went wide. “Y/N!” Without waiting another second, he ran to you. After over a month, here you were, right in front of him.
But it wasn’t so simple.
You flinched as his hands went to touch you, making him retract them right away. Your eyes didn’t look in his direction once.
Like you were scared of him.
At the thought, his heart clenched. It was only then that he noticed you were shaking, even as you were covered in blankets.
Your body was littered with cuts and bruises. You were pale, too, so clearly malnourished and sleep deprived. But it was your eyes that really got him. Your beautiful eyes no longer looked so lively. They looked empty.
You looked like a ghost.
“Y/N?” His voice cracked simultaneously with his heart. Why weren’t you looking at him? “Y/N-”
He was cut off. “Mr. Odair.” He turned to see a doctor standing on the other side of your bed, a hesitant look on her face and a look in her eyes that made a shiver go up spine. “Could I speak to you for a moment?”
He glanced back to you, seeing that you still weren’t looking at him. Your gaze was fixed on a spot on your bed. You hadn’t looked up once, even as the doctor spoke. Confused, he nodded, letting the woman pull him to the side, out of earshot from you.
But even as the doctor started speaking, he couldn’t get your eyes out of his mind.
That look in your eye was somehow worse than any of his nightmares combined.
“Mr. Odair, Ms. Y/L/N’s condition is… it’s quite complex,” she cautioned. He furrowed his brows, his worry increasing.
“What do you mean- is she okay-”
“No, I meant- physically, I’m not seeing much to be worried about. Of course, she could be better- much better, but this is what we were expecting.” She paused, glancing at you. “Mentally- I’m not even sure where to begin.”
He glanced back at you, too, to see that you were still staring at that same spot on your bed. He let the doctor’s words register in his brain. You weren’t okay.
“We’ve informed psych, but for now, you’re just gonna need to give her time.” Time.
He let out a breath, feeling his eyes getting wet as what she was saying really soaked in. “You’re telling me to leave.” Just as he got you back.
“Mr. Odair-”
“You’re telling me to leave.”
“Finnick.” She cut him off with a strong call of his name. “Your girlfriend’s mental state right now is unstable. She’s in shock; she’s not herself right now. It is going to take some time to get her out of this state, and it’s going to be hard for you to see her in it. In the meantime, the best thing you can do for her is take some time to collect your thoughts.”
She was telling him to go off and think. Did she know that’s all he’d been doing for hours, thinking and throwing himself into the worst possible scenarios, only to realize that one of them had become a reality?
But he didn’t tell her this, instead looking back at you. You were lifeless. When he looked back at the doctor, there was a pleading expression on her face. He didn’t want to leave you, but she made it sound like the best possible thing to do for you. So he did.
But the truth was, he just couldn’t bear to watch you when you were like that.
You were the love of his life. It was like his heart started beating again when he saw you there, alive, but then it dulled once he really looked at you.
You didn’t look like the girl he fell in love with, the girl that went into that arena, or the girl he said goodbye to. It only took a month, and now you looked like a completely different person, like you had seen things no man had ever seen.
In his haze, Finnick made it back to his room, but he didn’t make it to the bed, collapsing onto the floor, bringing his knees up to his chest as his mind spun.
You were alive. He thought that, when he finally saw you again, all of his worries would be erased, that everything would be okay again, that the world would go back to being in colour instead of this black and white that he’d been stuck in with Katniss.
But nothing seemed more colourful.
Nothing seemed better.
You were here. You were back, Y/N Y/L/N, the same woman he loved, the same woman he’d dreamt about for weeks. You were alive. 
But, oh, he should’ve known it couldn’t have been that easy.
Your heart was beating, your eyes were open, and you were there… but that didn’t mean you were alive.
I told you. I’m not letting you die.
Little did Finnick know, you were already dead. 
Taglist: @avoxrising @mxacegrey @littleshadow17 @lovelyteenagebeard @nasyanastya @catastrxblues @zodiyack @zulpix-blog @mushroomelephant @muggies @lantsovheiress @hobiebrowns-wife @notplutos @faeriepigeons
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lovelyglares · 6 months
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𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓮𝔂 🎥 | kth 🔞
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> You make a film with Taehyung after he confesses his dirty little secret to you.
Warnings: whipped! tae , camgirl! reader, college au , pining , cursing, brief jimin x reader (lmao youll see) jealous! taehyung, im not sorry, / explicit sexual content; oral (m! receiving) face f*cking , it gets filmed 🙈 , tae is determined to be the best she’s ever had, f*ngering, unprotected s*x (u know betta) , slight! ch*king, switch! tae, switch! reader , marking, tae gets a bit possessive
A/N: hey my luvlies! ive been receiving sm luv with after hours so i had to give you an extra snack. hope you like it hehe, Enjoy! 💗
Masterlist
moodboard
••••
“I knew you were different but never like this.” Taehyung lets out a groan as he shakily holds the camera in his left hand as he used his left hand to grip into a fistful of your hair, guiding your head movements on his cock.
“Ughh, look at how pretty you look. Taking my cock so well..” Taehyung drops his head back, the image in the mirror being almost too much to handle in his lust driven mind. His fingers fiddle with the camera, making it zoom in on you gagging and chocking on his massive cock. He curses at the sight and can’t help but rock his length, now fucking your mouth. The tears that fall and the spit that dribbles out of the corner of your mouth, falls down your chin. Your gags and choking moans almost knock him over the edge.
You still look so so pretty to him- even after each time he’s with you. It always feels like the first time.
He remembers the first time he met you. You were in the campus’s cafe sitting oh so prettily in your short grey plaid shirt and cashmere sweater. You were laughing at something Namjoon said and he was in a trance at your beautiful laughter and twinkling eyes. You were otherworldly and he had to meet you.
You were Namjoon’s partner in his music production class; not only were you absolutely stunning but you were so fucking talented.
The more Taehyung observed you, the more his attraction grew. Taehyung knew he had to make an advance on you soon when even his best friend, Jimin, shown obvious interest in you.
He couldnt let that happen.
He foresaw it as fate when you ended up transferring to his song writing class and ended up sitting right next to him.
Since that day, he made massive efforts to try to get to know you. He gave you his number and you both took off to be great friends. The more he learned about you the more reasons he convinced himself to give it a shot. You were so endearing and had a heart full of gold.
However, one night he was browsing different porn sites, sporting with a massive hard on that you gave him with your teasings ways, your innocent image over when he found your camgirling profile, Honey Bee.
To say he was shocked was an understatement. He had an idea of who you were in his head but he erased all of that because clearly he didn’t know you like he thought he did.
When he found out, he initially kept it on the down low. He pretended he didnt know and kept it as a dirty secret, you not knowing that he became a frequent visitor on your profile. He became a subscriber and watched everything you made.
That is until he saw that you posted a video with someone;… well not just anyone but his best friend, Jimin.
He watches as his best friend plows into you on your bed, hand pushing your face in the pillow and your needy pussy takes him in. Your naughty and needy whines sound like music to his ears.
Hes never felt that green little monster before but seeing you with a familiar face- someone whom he grew up with, made him sick with envy. That should be me.
He couldn’t hide his feelings and wants anymore.
So he confronted you that evening by showing up to your front door, since hes came over a few times anyways to hang out with you. However, this time he had a mission in his mind. One to make sure you knew he was the best.
•••
The First Time ~
“Tae?? What are you doing here?” you asked, pretty doe eyes staring at him with a confused look on your face. He never shows up unannounced.
Taehyung ignores your questions and walks past you into your little apartment. You stand at the door like a goldfish and close it behind him, perplexed at Taehyungs strange attitude. You know Taehyung is a bit different but tonight theres this tension. He has a different air about him.
He was into your living room, eyes zooming in on your camera on the centerpiece table. He ignores your protests as he reaches to grab it, ignoring your cries as he messes with it.
“Taehyung! What are you doing!! You can’t just mess with peoples stuff! -“ You reach out to take the camera in your hands but Taehyung easily dodges your attempts. He uses one of his hands and easily manipulates his other hand behind him as he uses his free hand to grab your moving hands. He somehow easily is able to get both of your frantic arms in his one hand, gripping them in front of you as he stares you straight in the eye with unwavering eye contact.
“Make a movie with me..” Taehyung says, you freezing in place.
“Huh?? What are you saying? Quit being ridiculous! -“ You huff, lost at his actions and demeanor. Your heart quickens at what he could possibly mean.
“I said.., Make a movie with me, honey..” He says the last word with sweet delicateness dripping off his tongue. You feel the hair rise on your arms and neck and your heart quickens and skips a beat at his words.
Wha— How?
“H-how did you know?” You whisper out, ears and cheeks turning a bright red, suddenly flustered at the revelation. Taehyung notices that youre no longer trying to get the camera back so he drops the tight hold he has on you, using his hand to massage where he was holding you. He sighs and decides to let go of the camera, placing it back on the table as he moves to sit on the couch. He gestures you to follow him but you squeal as instead of sitting on the couch, he pulls you into his lap. He doesn’t miss how flustered you’re getting at his touch and he cant help but feel pride swell in his chest, pleased that he can affect you.
“Ive known for awhile…” He says and your heart drops, mortified that he’s been keeping such a personal secret to himself for so long. Especially since its about you.
“I didn’t want to say anything to you about it because I didn’t want to make you feel any certain type of way and i didn’t want it to seem… awkward I guess.” He declares to you.
“If i’m being completely honest with you… Ive been interested in you since i’ve met you…”
Your mouth drops at his confession, that being the last thing you expected to hear. Yes, Taehyung does flirt with you and pamper you sometimes but you didn’t expect him to have actual feeling with you. That seemed to be too good to be true. Especially since you’ve also had a crush with him for ages.
“I do have another confession…I know about your… job,’ he cant help but chuckle at your red face and how you hide your face in his neck, he wraps his arms around you tighter, eating up the way you’re clinging onto him, “ because i watch your videos.”
He drops that bombshell and you cant help but jump back up from his words, him wincing as you press down onto him a little too harshly. You open your mouth to respond but no words come out, completely speechless as he continues talking.
“I was planning on confessing to you in a more organic way but I couldn’t when…’ his face crunches up, like he’s in pain at the image in his mind ,’ when I saw the video you made with Jimin.”
You cant help but choke on the spit in your mouth.
Fuck! No one was supposed to know about that!
Taehyung can see the panic on your face but he quickly tries to calm you. He brings his huge veiny hands to hold onto your face, making you meet his eyes and a small smile forces its way on his face.
“None of that matter now though.. Its already done… But I’m here to prove to you that i can treat you better…Only if you let me.. You’ll never need someone ever again if you let me prove it to you. I want you.. Not just for sex but in all ways. I want you to be my honey.” The words drip from his mouth like sweet brandy, pulling you into his depth and his sweet disposition. How you’ve longed to hear those words come from his mouth. Taehyung drops his hands as you remain silenced, hope dwindling away as you stay silent. Instead of words, you use actions to get your answer across.
You put your hands on his beautiful face, biting your lip as you gaze at his. It only takes a second for Taehyung to pick up on what you’re doing, his hands coming to hold onto your hips. Your plump lips meet his in a dance. He groans at the taste of your lips.
He may become an addict, he cannot get enough of you. All the longing and pining dwindles down to this one moment in time and he cannot hold himself back now that he finally has his hands on you. You don’t mind it one bit either.
Your tongues dance together in a synchronized manner, molding and twirling together like you’ve done this a million of times together. Wandering hands explore eachother, mapping a trail to one place to another. He teases you as he feels your underwear wire, snapping it causing you to gasp in the kiss. You feel him smirk against your lips and you feel something inside you snap. You are in your element right now.
You push him back , making his back hit the couch. His chest moves up and down and swollen pink lips gasps at your movements, catching him off guard. You bring a hand up to his neck, massaging sweet little circles into it until you cup the front of his throat. You give him slight pressure as you move your face closer to his. You bring your lips to his but instead of kissing him, you bite onto his bottom lip and tug. You’re pleased as you hear his gargled moan and watch as his eyes roll at the action. You give him a sweet peck afterwards and pull away. You lick your lips and you use your other hand to move his messy hair from out of his face.
“You want to make a movie with me, baby? “ You whisper with a sultry tone falling from your lips. Taehyung gulps at the change of demeanor.
He’s had you completely wrong it seems… And he’s not mad about it.
He bites his lips at your words, giving you an enthusiastic nod. You give him a sweet smile as you reach behind you ,grabbing the camera, making sure to press down harder onto him, making him hiss and grip onto your hips. You giggle at the sweat that forms on his face and his fidgety hands that crave to explore you. You tut at his impatience and fiddle with the camera, making sure everything is ready to go to start filming.
Once your done, you get up off his lap causing Taehyung to whine at the cold that seeps into his skin at the loss of your heat. You giggle, kissing his cheek as he pouts and you run your fingers through his soft, silky hair. His eyes close at the sensation and you rub your thumb across his cheek.
“C’mon pretty boy.. We have a video to make.” You say with a teasing tilt to your voice. His eyes snap open and you’ve never seen him move so fast. You giggle as you watch him run to your room. You shake your head, body running off of excitement because you know what is about to happen.
You can’t wait.
•••
“Oh Tae!! Yes, baby!!” You let out breathy moans, body shaking and legs locking around Taehyungs waist as his fingers pound into your dripping cunt. Taehyung hovers over your naked body, blinking camera is invisible to the both of you. He is mesmerized as he watches your cunt swallow his long fingers, milking him off everything he offers.
He loves how sensitive you are. His back is decorated with freshly made scratches that he knows he’ll show off later when he can. He brings his head down, kissing and swallowing your moans as you reach your third high of the night.
He’s relentless, youve come to realize.
You’ve never had a lover quite like him, so dedicated on giving you pleasure.
“What a good girl, so so greedy.” He says with shaky breathes, the site alone enough to make him bust all over you. However, he cannot have that. He pulls his soaked fingers with your arousal , sticking them in his mouth and sucking on them, moaning at your sweet taste.
“You taste so good, sweet like honey.” He whispers out, giving you a shatteringly good kiss. You whimper in the kiss, so desperate for more. You wrap your legs around his waist, forcing him down onto the bed as you force him on his back, making you on top. Taehyung gasps at the change of position and he bites his lip at your gaze, ready to devour him.
“Can I ride you Tae baby?” You ask him so sweetly, batting your eyelashes with swollen, biten lips. Taehyung cant help but groan at the site and close his eyes.
“Do your worst, darling.” He choked out as he feels you grind on his naked cock. Your wet lips soak his cock with you essence, the thought alone sends Taehyung crazy. He just wants you to ruin him.
He opens his eyes and watches as you give his cock a few pumps, spitting on it to give it more lubrication, not like you need it anyways. He hisses as he feels you finally line his cock with your entrance, slowly sinking down to take him in. Your walls clamp around him and he doesnt know how he’s going to last.
“Fuck! Baby, you feel s-so good!” Taehyung stutters out, hands gripping onto your thighs and his chest shakes at the pleasure that runs through his veins at the feeling of your snug walls gripping onto him.
It should be illegal to feel this good.
You put your hands on his shoulders to give you more stability as you start to grind your hips against his. You both moan loudly as the feeling, gasping and holding onto eachother as you fuck yourself against his big massive cock.
You feel him everywhere. He reaches so deep inside you that it makes a bulge on your belly. You grab Taehyungs hand and place it on the bulge.
He groans loudly and it takes everything inside Taehyung to not buck up against you. He feels feral for you.
“Oh , Tae… You feel that? You’re so deep,’ You cant help but moan at the sharp thrust he bucks up into you with,’ Ive wanted you so bad too, baby.. I-ive dreamt of this.” You almost sob out as Taehyung drinks in your words like alcohol and its enough to set Taehyung off. He moves his hands to hold onto you as he drills upwards into your dripping cunt.
You cry out loud and sob at his brutal pace, sweat dripping off both of your bodies as you both ride out the rhythm of each others passion. Taehyung is determined to make sure that you know you now belong to him.
He uses one hand, not stopping his brutal thrusts, to hold onto the side of your neck, making you tilt your head so he can give you kisses and bites on your neck. He leaves dark hickies in his wake, knowing that it would be nearly impossible to cover up.
He needs everyone to know.
He cant help but look over your shoulder, making direct eye contact with the camera lense. He releases almost a growl as he drills up into you harder.
“Mine.. You’re mine now , honey.” He groans out, a possessive tone in his voice as he watches you fall apart in the camera as you milk his cock. He cant help but groan at the feeling of you spasming and hugging his cock just right.
He pulls back to watch your pussy take him in, your release dripping out of the sides of his cock. That is enough to drive him over the edge, beautiful and deep moans escape his throat.
He gives you a few more pumps from his cock, making sure to massage his cum deep inside you- ignoring the toxic thoughts in his head.
You collapse on his chest, now entirely spent. You both whisper sweet nothings and praises in eachothers ears. You both momentarily forget about the blinking camera until Taehyung sees the blinking red dot in his peripherals.
Instead of making you get off, he wraps his arms tightly around you, his cock still deep inside you as he moves to get up with you in his arms. Your squeals and light moans follow him as he walks to the camera, crouching down as he meets the camera head on. He smirks and blows a kiss to the camera, hitting the stop button.
He moves back up, giving you a sweet smile. He gives you another kiss to your lips, savoring the moment you just shared.
He walks you back to the bed, lightly dropping you on your back, making him slip out of you.
You giggle as he collapse on top you, face in between your breasts as he gives it teasing kisses.
“Baby, honey, sweetheart, my angel,…,’ he says sweet little pet names, causing you to swoon and blush at his sweet and adoring gaze.
“Say… Want to have another round?” He asks, eyebrows wiggling as he gives you a playful smirk. You laugh at him and lightly swat his chest. He gives you a heart stopping smile and you cant help but give him a sweet kiss on the forehead. You move to give his ear a little tug with your teeth, causing him to groan and grind his cock on you greedy pussy.
“We can go all night long, if thats what you want Taehyung.” You whisper naughtily in his ear, giving it another tug. He growls and brings his hands to tug on your boobs and nipples, slightly flicking them causing you to gush onto his now once again hard cock.
“Oh honey, you don’t know what you just did.” He growls out in your ear and you giggle as he give you ticklish kisses on your neck.
Here’s to the night of making memories, love, and a porno that goes viral. One you both will remember for the rest of your life.
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buckysmith · 1 year
Text
He gets drunk
Includes: Alejandro, Grave, Ghost and Soap
Warning: Adult stuff, mention of alcohol use, 18+ stuff but not to heavy
(Has nothing to do with the headcanons I just love that song and listened to it while writing )
____________
Alejandro: (not my gift)
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- he is actually a man who can stand a lot of alcohol
- he doesn't really like drinking games, but if Rudy challenges him, he's not the one to shy away from it
- as I said, he can stand a lot of the devils liquor but holy hell after an amount of it that could possibly kill any other human he’s not the stoic thinking Alejandro Vargas.
- He knows he’s a good locking man so it’s not unusual that some chicas or chicos flirts with him
- some of his team would call you in situations like that, not because he’s a cheater no. They would call you to pick him up because he gets whiny and grumpy about that your not here with him
- ofc you would pick your love sick husband up but to be honest, after one whole bottle of Mezcal he’s fucked up (just to remember you that would most possible kill any other person) and wouldn’t really recognize you
- at first he would tell you to go away cause he’s in a relationship
- when you want to take him with you he gets angry, telling you to fuck off cause he has the most beautiful, loving, kind hearted and attractive S/O in the whole world
- you would giggle about it, telling you your his s/o
- he would try to recognize your face but because of the darkness and way to much alcohol he just couldn’t
- but he would recognize your scent
- yeah, good luck going home after he recognized you
- cough instead horny cough
- anyways, even though he’s fucked up your night wouldn’t end quickly after you got him home
- oh and even in this state your his top priority ;)
(I’m sorry but I think drunk as fuck he would dance/ sing to that song Vamos a la Playa)
Graves: (not my gift)
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- He hates drinking games more than anything else
- but if someone challenges him he can’t say no, his ego ist waaaay to big for that
- after a good amount of alcohol he would call you to take him home
- he knows he’s an attractive man so from time to time people would hit at him but he would causally show his wedding ring (he doesn’t even want to look at the people that want him)
- he knows he can’t drive and he doesn’t want to take an Uber (it’s just not safe as someone like him) so he would wait for you
- he would wait till you show up with another drink in his hand
- he’s not quite talkative on your way home, but he would lay his hand on your thigh, murmur a lot of sweet nothings and a lot of dirty things
- after you both got home he would ask you to take his clothes off
- cough alcohol makes him horny and you do too cough
Soap: (not my gift)
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- he likes the taste of scotch that sharp, distinct flavor is what he likes about it
- The few times he has with his whole team are most likely to have a serious matter but the rare times when they can sit in a bar drinking with each other and don’t have to worry to get killed end most of the time with a drinking game
- he isn’t as good with alcohol as ghost or price but he would definitely try to win that stupid drinking game
- price would be the one that calls you
- soap would only sit in some corner, with a picture of you in his hand whining that he wants you to be here with you (he’s love sick)
- the moment you’re in front of him, kneeling between his legs and gently touching his cheeks would end with you back first in the wooden floor
- Ghost would definitely take pics/ videos of you too, most likely to tease soap after he’s sober
- You would take your big boy home
- he’s more on the cuddle side
- he wants you to touch him, to tell him sweet nothings and praise him
Ghost: (not my gift)
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- no matter how much he drinks, he isn’t able to get drunk
- fr this man can drink stuff that could kill any other human and he’s still fucking sober (at least he seems to)
- But even though he isn’t the usual drunk man, he gets homesick or better he wants to go home to you
- he knows even though he’s still able to put one and one to two he’s not gonna drive home so he would call you
- he’s a ghost, the others wouldn’t notice that he disappeared (at least they would notice when he’s already over the hills)
- love sick puppy
- he had it rough and in times like that he needs you more than anything
- he’s quite emotional when he’s drunk, it’s most likely the only time he’s able to cry and to let out his feelings
- Cuddle with him, praise him, pet him, take care of him, you’re the one he needs the most
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its-time-to-write · 10 months
Note
hi! Could you please write something with like reader opening the door one day when Roy stars knocking for training but reader and Jamie aren’t open about their relationship yet? I think it would be cute xx
I also thought this was cute. Not sure if anyone notices/cares, but all my titles are song lyrics based ever so loosely on the vibe I am trying to convey. Thanks for another great request!
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what it is
Someone’s aggressively knocking on the door and as you roll over to check the time. It’s 4am, and you poke Jamie who is fast asleep beside you.
“Babe,” you whisper, “someone’s at the door.”
Jamie groans and mumbles something incoherent. As your eyes adjust to the darkness, you can tell something’s off. You reach out your hand and feel his forehead. It’s burning up.
The knocking continues and Jamie lets out another groan and says something that sounds like raining? Oh. Training. You remember he trains every morning at 4, but you’ve never seen who he goes with. He just kisses you in your sleep and is back right as you wake up for the day. 
You roll out of bed, grab one his sweatshirts from the floor, and pad downstairs to the door.
You swing open the door mid-knock. The man on the other side lowers his fist, looks at you all squinty for a moment, then says, “Who the fuck’re you?”
You return the look. “I live here. Who the fuck are you?”
The man scoffs. “No, you fucking don’t. This is Jamie Tartt’s house. Jesus fucking Christ, is he fucking blowing off training because of a fucking one-night stand?”
Oh. You know who this is. This is Roy Kent. You didn’t know he was the one training Jamie, but you guess it makes sense based on how much Jamie talks about him. It’s Roy Kent this, and Roy Kent that, and Roy says I need to eat more protein, and Roy said my hair looked funny today, does it look funny to you? 
You sigh. You and Jamie have been together for three months, and you basically live at his house. You’re really only at your flat to change clothes. You have a toothbrush, pajamas, and half a wardrobe at Jamie’s. Your books have started to make their way onto his shelves too, as you read them and then leave them for him to start. That was a little bit of an accident at first, after you left This Side of Paradise one night and came back to a different bookmark on page 34.
Anyway, Roy Kent doesn’t know you’re dating Jamie, or that anyone is. You suppose in his mind, Jamie is happily single, fucking around like the twenty-something year old footballer he is. 
Roy is still looking at you expectantly, so say, “I do live here. Why don’t you come in?” and hold open the door a bit wider. 
Roy’s face says fuck it, and he follows you inside to the kitchen. 
“Can I get you some tea?” you ask quietly, although Jamie can sleep through anything. 
Roy seems surprised by the question, but says, “Yeah, sure,” as he stands by the kitchen island.
“Jamie’s sick,” you say. “He’s still asleep upstairs. I doubt he’ll be up for training today.”
“Right, yeah,” says Roy, “I’m sorry, but who the fuck are you? Jamie’s not fucking supposed to be doing the whole one-night stand thing, he told me it’s too fucking distracting from training.”
You chuckle. “That’s comedy gold right there. Yeah, no, I’m not a one-night stand. I’m his girlfriend.”
Roy’s impressive eyebrows lift in shock, and you laugh again and give him your name. “Didn’t know I existed, did you? I’m not one for crowds or a big fuss. I told Jamie if we made it four months than he could start telling people. He was a little upset, but,” you shrug, “no point in making it a big deal if we just break up, right?”
You can practically see the wheels turning in Roy’s brain as he does the math.
“So you’re telling me that you’ve been fucking dating this little prick for three fucking months, and he hasn’t fucking said anything?”
You nod. 
“Fuckkk,” Roy whispers, “that makes so much fucking sense.”
You quirk an eyebrow at him.
“He’s been less of a prick recently,” Roy explains, “More considerate, been carrying around fucking books and shit. Not fucking flirting with everything that fucking moves. Thought maybe he was just taking beating Zava too fucking seriously.”
You nod and move to pour the tea. You and Roy both turn as you hear footsteps coming down the stairs. It’s Jamie, who is wearing a headlamp, pajama shirt, athletic vest, and a single sock. And, thank God, pants.
“Ready for training coach,” he says with a salute, but the action almost makes him fall over. He looks all pale and sweaty, with bags under his eyes.
“Told you he was sick,” you say.
“Fuckin’ hell,” is all Roy can come up with.
Jamie seems to notice you for the first time and breaks out into a smile. “Roy! Look! I have a girlfriend,” he says, words a little slurred while pointing to you.
It’s punctuated by a “Jesus Christ,” from Roy as Jamie wobbles, unsteady on his feet from his fever.
“Alright, mister,” you say. “Back to bed.”
Jamie frowns. “Always so mean,” he says. He does an imitation of your voice, “No Jamie, you can’t tell Roy about us. Yes Jamie, I know Roy’s your best friend. No Jamie, I don’t think you love Roy more than me.” He looks at Roy as you sling his arm around your shoulders, supporting him at his waist. He puts his fingertips on your lips as he says, “See what I have to put up with?”
You roll your eyes and suppress a smile as Roy says, “What you have to put up with?”
Jamie is so loopy right now. He lays his head on yours and smiles again. “Look at this. Me two favorite people, finally meeting. You should stay for dinner, coach.”
Roy rolls his eyes and shakes his head. You can tell he’s trying not to laugh as you both mutually decide not to point out that it is now 4:30am and dinner is a long, long way away.
“Let’s go get you out of those clothes and into bed,” you say as you start to lead him back to your room. 
Jamie casts a look back at Roy and wiggles his eyebrows. “Babe, you can’t just say things like that in front of granddad. Might give him a heart attack. Old people are such prudes.”
“Go to sleep, Tartt,” Roy says. He looks at you and says softly, “I can see myself out.”
You smile and wave with your free hand. “It was nice to meet you,” you say. “Hopefully we can meet again under more normal circumstances.”
Roy nods once and does what you think is a smile? He turns and heads out the door as you maneuver Jamie upstairs. Jamie Tartt has a girlfriend. And a good one at that. What is the world coming to?
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thugpugs4lrh · 12 days
Text
Ways to Say "I Love You", C. Sturniolo
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Summary: Five times you knew Chris better than himself, and the one time you didn't<3
Pairing: Chris x feminine reader
Warnings: Mentions of drinking/hangover (y'all i know he's techinally not of legal drinking age in the USA. this is fiction)
Word Count: 4.3k
A/N: I genuinely need this man in my life so bad actually. Anyways, enjoy some tooth rotting fluff. XOXO<3
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1
“Bruh,” Chris groaned, leaning his head back against the couch cushions. “I feel like shit and I don’t even know why.”
You looked up from your phone, eyeing your boyfriend up and down. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know,” he whined, rolling off the couch dramatically. “My head hurts and I’m tired.”
You sat up from the gray couch, standing over Chris, who was sprawled on the floor, pouting and whining. You definitely felt bad for him, but at the same time, you knew Chris tended to over dramatize the smallest, most random things. “Do you have a fever?” 
Chris shook his head, rolling from his back to his stomach, but not getting off the floor. “I don’t feel sick, but I just feel like horse shit and I don’t know why.”
You observed him for a moment, before an idea dawned on you. Having ADHD, Chris tended to forget to eat and drink, so hyperfixated on something or too many thoughts in his head blocking the reminders to fuel his body. He was medicated for it, which both helped and hurt. Sometimes, he would be able to focus enough to remember his meals, but other times, the meds would dissipate his hunger cues. “When was the last time you had something to eat or drink?”
“Hmmm,” Chris’s blue eyes looked thoughtful for a moment before he shrugged. “Dunno. Which is weird because I’ve usually had like, six Pepsis by now, but we’re out and Matt didn’t go to the grocery store yesterday, so…I don’t know.”
You shook your head with a soft chuckle, helping your boyfriend up off the floor. “I think that might be the problem, sweetheart. Is there something you want to eat?”
“Do we have chicken nuggets?” Chris asked you, picking up one of the stim toys he had left on the floor last night as he followed you into the kitchen. “That reminds me, isn’t it weird that chickens can’t fly? Like…are they even real birds?” he asked you. 
“I dunno, hun. Google it.” You told him gently, pulling the bag of chicken nuggets out of the freezer.” 
“Do you think chickens are sad that they can’t fly? Like do they look at cardinals and go ‘Damn, why can he fly but not me’?” he hummed, flicking at the toy. 
Chris was wrapped up in his own little world as you made his lunch. He didn’t even get the chance to Google his chicken question before he was distracted by a Spotify notification, which led to him loudly singing a Lil Skies song, dancing around the kitchen. As much as you hated how difficult ADHD could be for him, Chris had one of the best personalities you had ever met; he was bubbly and outgoing, always the life of the party and always willing to cheer you up. You quickly plated his nuggets, along with some other random foods that you knew he would love, before sliding the plate across the island too. 
“See if that makes you feel better.” You explained with a soft smile. 
You watched as Chris downed the food, along with a Gatorade you had given him, only to see a smile dawn on his face. 
“I feel better now,” Chris mumbled shyly after a while. “Thank you. You’re the best girlfriend I could ever ask for. You literally always know me better than myself, it’s kinda weird.”
“Why is it weird?” You asked with a snort. 
“Cause it’s like you’re magical or something. Which it would be really cool if you were.”
You smiled, kissing Chris’s soft brown hair. “I love you too, hun.”
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡
2
Tour life was difficult. No one would deny that. As much as the triplets were absolutely loving the Versus tour and all the antics they were getting to do, as well as meeting fans, they had to admit that it was exhausting. Not only were they running on an extremely tight schedule, it was wearing on Chris the most, simply because he was getting next to no alone time with you. It wasn’t that he simply wanted the alone time for sexual reasons, rather, you were the only person that could calm his mind, letting him just be. 
“Baby,” You hummed, softly stroking the brunette’s face. It was still dark out, just past six am, but you had a surprise for him, and you knew Chris would later complain about his sleeping in if he found the missed opportunity. “Wake up, honey.”
Chris wriggled beneath the blankets, sleepily blinking his blue eyes. He was freezing and it was dark out; way too early to be awake. “Too early.” he groaned in his morning voice, rolling over to face the wall with the blanket bunched around his shoulders. 
“I have a surprise for you.” You said, a bit more excitement in your voice as you shook him harder. 
The word ‘surprise’ immediately woke the boy up as he rolled to face you. You were already dressed in one of his hoodies and a pair of leggings, eager to get on with your plan. You were practically bouncing up and down like an excited little kid, hoping Chris would love what you had come up with as much as you did. 
“Why the fuck are you awake? It’s dark out,” he moaned. “Come cuddle me instead.”
You snorted at your boyfriend’s dramatics, quietly pulling back his blanket so as not to disturb Matt and Nick. “Get dressed, you big goof. We’re leaving in ten.”
As much as he wanted to argue and go back to sleep, Chris couldn’t deny that he wanted to understand what had caused the giddiness in your aura. He quickly pulled on his favorite hoodie and sweatpants, cramming his messy hair under a snapback as he followed you down the bus steps and out onto the quiet, dark sidewalk. He didn't know where the bus had stopped during the night. Philly maybe? But he didn’t get time to think about that as you simply nodded to one of the members of the triplets security and then took his hand, dragging him down the sidewalk. 
“Where are we going? I miss my blanket.” Chris pouted. 
“Me too,” You nodded, trying your hardest not to disclose the surprise. “But I do have something that’ll make you feel better.”
Chris didn’t know where you were going at this point, but he followed you anyway. He would’ve followed in any life, had someone asked him the question. You two continued to walk for a few more blocks until you stopped in front of a brightly lit diner, its neon signs illuminating the darkness of the street. 
“Pancakes?” Your boyfriend asked, perking up as the smell of bacon drifted from the restaurant. “Goddamn, I knew I made the right choice dating you.”
“I am pretty amazing,” You giggled, flipping your hair over your shoulder. “Let’s eat.”
You stepped into the diner together, immediately being sat at a booth and having your order taken. You and Chris both ordered an immense amount of breakfast food, quite tired of the protein shakes and cereal that came with bus life. 
“How did you, um, find this place?” Chris asked bashfully, stirring his straw around his Pepsi. 
You shrugged, taking a sip of your coffee. “I was just looking for things for us to do alone and it came up,” You hummed. “I love Matt and Nick, I really do, but I also like to have one-on-one time with you, and I could kind of tell you needed some, too.”
“How do you always manage to know exactly what I need when I need it?” he asked with a chuckle, brushing his hand over your knuckles. 
You smiled, a blush dotting your cheeks as your waitress came over with a tray full of all the food you had ordered. “I just do.”
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡
3
“Baby,” Chris whined, sprawling out across your shared queen sized bed. “Don’t leave me. I don’t need food, nor do I want it.”
“But you do.” You said pointedly, looking him up and down as you slipped on your Uggs. 
“Nuh uh,” he fought back, smashing his face against a pillow. “You’re making me feel sick by not laying with me.”
“I’m not making you feel sick. Your choices are making you feel sick. No one told you to drink as much as you did.” You chastised gently, crossing the room to kiss his forehead. 
You and Chris, as well as his brothers, had gone out last night with a large group of friends, to include Johnnie and Jake, Tara, Larray, and Sam and Colby. Things had gotten a little…out of hand, leaving you with a very hungover Chris, who was making miserable noises as he clutched his stomach. 
“You’re not even laying with me,” Your boyfriend pouted. “My head and tummy hurt and I wanna be cuddled and you’re being mean.”
“You’re so grumpy when you’re hungover,” You snorted, kissing his forehead again. “I’ll be right back, babe.”
Chris whimpered again as you propped him up with several pillows, tucking him in and making sure he had water and a bucket nearby. You had opted to get him IHOP, figuring a good amount of carbs would ease the symptoms he was currently experiencing as a consequence of overindulging in alcohol. The time between you leaving the triplets house, picking up food, and returning home was less than forty five minutes total, but it felt like an eternity to your hungover boyfriend who simply wanted cuddles and for his headache and nausea to go away. 
You entered the bedroom, takeout bag in hand. “I’m back. Nothing to cure a hangover like a big, greasy breakfast,” You smiled, settling onto the bed and pulling out plastic containers of food. “Once you eat, you can take some ibuprofen for your headache.”
“I’m not hungry.” Chris whispered softly, feeling too unsettled to eat. 
“You know your tummy will feel better once you eat.” You cooed, stroking his stomach over the comforter. 
“Nuh uh.” he groaned, snuggling further into his pillow and blanket.  
“It will and you know it. You know you can’t drink that much, hun. I dunno what you expected to happen.” You explained softly, pushing some hair out of his face gently. 
As much as he wanted to continue to whine and be difficult, Chris had to admit you were right. A good breakfast and some sleep sounded really, really good right about now. He softly sat up, taking a sip of the Gatorade you had left on his bedside table last night. “Mkay…I’ll try to eat, I guess.”
You didn’t say much as you two began to eat your breakfast. You knew Chris probably had a raging hangover headache right about now, and you didn’t want to make it any worse. Once your boyfriend had had enough to eat and taken the pain relievers, he curled up into your side, placing your hand on his stomach. 
“...you were right,” he admitted quietly, always hating to be wrong. “Now I need belly rubs and sleep.” 
“So demanding,” You fake huffed, kissing his forehead. “Get some rest, hun. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ 
4
Chris Sturniolo was not the type to let anyone know he was upset. Sure, he would jokingly whine and complain about things when he felt like being irritating to his brothers, but he would never actually let anyone see when his feelings were hurt. You knew this about him, and after a little over a year together, you knew the signs that he was feeling this way as well.
The four of you were currently sitting in Matt’s car in a random parking lot, filming a car video. You opted to sit in the back and mostly listen with an amused look. After all, this was the triplets video, not yours. They hadn’t really planned a topic for today either, which ever bubbly Chris took to his advantage. 
“I need to pee,” he stated to no one in particular. “I got a new water bottle and so now I’ve been motivated to stay hydrated so I need to pee.”
“Why did you say water bottle like that?” Matt snorted. 
The boys continued back and forth with their bickering for a while, mostly making fun of the way Chris had said the word. You simply sat and laughed, enjoying all the weird conversations that came up, that is until Nick harshly interrupted Chris. 
“Do you ever shut up?” he asked. “Like genuinely, do you ever shut your mouth?”
“I do sometimes.” Chris protested. 
“Nuh uh,” Matt interjected. “You couldn’t go five minutes without talking. I bet on it. You’re one of those people on the list Nick was talking about. The one who could benefit from being quiet.”
“Fine. Time starts now.” Chris ‘locked’ his lips and pretended to throw away the key. 
You knew he was just going along with the video, but you could tell by the slump of your boyfriend’s shoulders and the way he had his forehead resting against the cool window that the comments had hurt him more than he let on. Nick and Matt continued to talk for a few minutes, before landing on a topic that immediately sparked Chris’s mind. He quickly decided to speak up, forgetting about their ‘challenge’. 
“You can’t do it,” Matt laughed, a triumphant look on his face. “Chris can’t stop yapping…wait, that should be the title of this video.”
Nick laughed and fist bumped his middle triplet, but you found the joke far from funny. Chris had slowly curled into himself throughout the duration of the video, speaking less and less. He was still appearing to be smiling and having a good time, but his overall demeanor had shifted, and you could tell his brothers’ teasing was getting to him. 
“We should get home. It’s getting late…” You mumbled softly once the car had quieted down. 
Chris turned around in his seat, giving you a thankful smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Matt nodded at your statement, turning the key in the ignition and beginning the short drive back to your shared LA home. Everyone was quiet, which was a rare occurrence in this car. You would’ve thought that Matt and Nick would’ve noticed Chris’s unusual silence, but somehow they didn’t. Your boyfriend lingered to get out as his brothers clomped inside the house, laughing about a random joke. 
“You okay, hun?” You asked, climbing from the backseat to the driver’s seat, resting your hand on his arm. 
“‘M fine.” Chris mumbled, leaning his head  against the window. 
“You don’t act very fine.” You whispered gently, running your fingers through the soft, brown curls at the nape of his neck. 
“Do you think I talk too much?” Chris whispered quietly, turning towards you. 
Under the bright light of the garage, you could see unshed tears welling in his lash line, threatening to spill. That’s how you knew Chris was upset. He almost never cried, unless he was really and truly upset. 
“Honey,” You said sadly, running your thumb across his cheek. “Of course not, bubba. I love listening to you talk.”
“Well Matt and Nick sure don’t.” he huffed grumpily, but a sniffle made its way out.
“Yeah…I was going to talk to them about that, actually. They were kinda being dickheads to you tonight.” You whispered, always hating conflict between the triplets. 
“They were right,” Chris groaned, burying his head in his hands. “I can’t shut my fucking mouth and everyone thinks it’s annoying!”
“Sweetheart,” You cooed, pulling him into a hug across the console. “I don’t, and I say that with every promise in me. I love listening to you talk, Chris. Your voice is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard and I learn so much from you every day.”
“Really?” he sniffled, a tear rolling down his cheek.
“Really, hun,” You smiled, softly brushing it away. “I love you.”
Chris smiled, giving you a soft peck on the lips. “You always just know, don’t you? You always know when I’m sick or tired or when something’s wrong. God, I love you.”
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ 
5
You had always loved music, ever since you were little. Something about how a simple arrangement of notes could make a person feel so many emotions captivated you. It was like a language that you didn't have to learn to understand. By the time you were eleven, you’d been playing guitar and ukulele, and that later expanded to piano and bass. Music was absolutely your therapy, and you took every opportunity you had to practice your craft. 
You were sitting on the floor of your and Chris’s shared bedroom, strumming softly on your acoustic guitar. For once, the house was quiet because the boys were out filming a video, so you took the time to practice one of the new songs you had been working on lately. Being a music major allowed you very little time for your separate projects, so you would take whatever chance you could get. 
The silence didn’t last long, though. Just as you were playing an Em chord, Chris burst into the room, flopping on the bed. “Hey mamas, how was your day?”
You playfully rolled your eyes, but continued to strum your guitar. “It was wonderful…until I was so rudely interrupted.”
“You know you love me,” Chris teased, rolling onto his stomach and propping his chin in his hands. “Play me a song.”
“God, you are so demanding,” You chuckled. “What’s next? An autograph?”
“Mhm. On my boobs.” Your boyfriend smiled.
You shook your head with a laugh, throwing a guitar pick at him. “You’re insane.”
You didn’t waste any more in Chris’s antics, though. You fulfilled your boyfriend’s request, quietly beginning to play Falling like the Stars and singing along. Chris said nothing more, cherishing the sound of your voice. He loved hearing you sing and play guitar. It soothed him, allowing him to see the passionate parts of you that only came out in your music. He wished that he could do the things that you did, but he had just never taken the time to learn an instrument. 
You looked up at your boyfriend on the bed after you finished the song, smiling softly. You watched Chris for a moment, observing his body language and the way he was looking at you. “Do you…want to learn?” You asked him quietly, a blush dotting your cheeks.
“You’d teach me?” Chris’s cheeks and ears grew pink as he looked at you shyly. 
“I’d love to.” You nodded with a smile. 
Your boyfriend clambered off the bed, sitting down next to you on the rug. You softly began to explain the different parts of an acoustic guitar and how to hold it, before moving onto chords and strumming. Chris had always been a fast learner when he put effort in, and right now was no different. Within the hour, he was already playing slow, soft songs. The chords were still vibrating and it took him quite a while to change them, but it was a song nonetheless. 
“I’m not as good at it as you are.” he pouted after a moment, setting your guitar aside gently. 
“Well I have been playing for ten years, bub.” You chuckled gently, kissing his face. 
Chris wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into him and kissing you back deeply. He loved you with all his heart, and you taking the time out of your day to share your passions with him only made him love you more. As the kiss grew heavier, Chris fell back onto the floor, still holding you as he giggled. 
“I’ve always wanted to learn how to play guitar, you know that?” he asked, pecking your forehead. 
“I could tell.” You smiled. 
“You always can.”
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ 
+1
“It’s such a nice day out today.” You hummed, soaking in the sun as you laid on your towel. 
Chris fidgeted beside you anxiously, but made an acknowledgement towards you statement so as to ‘throw you off his scent’. He had been planning this surprise for months now and he was currently using every muscle in his body to keep his mouth shut so as not to spoil it.
You two were basking in the sun on the beach in Santa Barbara, towels laid out. You had noticed Chris had been unusually quiet all day, but didn’t really think much of it. The beach usually kept him in his own little world, too distracted by the roar of the ocean and the sand between his feet to notice anyone else. You both had always loved the beach, and moving to the LA area after living in Boston your whole life had been a welcomed change. You practically went to the beach every weekend, but today Chris had led you to a new spot he had found. It was rather secluded, but you loved it all the same. It made things more intimate between the two of you. 
“You’re quiet today,” You said after a while, rolling over and propping yourself up on your shoulder. You looked Chris over from head-to-toe, admiring the tiny features about him like the way his curls had grown more pronounced with the salt air and the birthmark on his back. “Beach getting you relaxed?”
“I, uh, yeah. You could say that,” Your boyfriend tried to smile sheepishly, looking you over. Your lavender bikini hugged you just right, making him even more nervous. If he fucked this up while you looked so gorgeous, he would never forgive himself. “Wanna take a walk?”
You smiled, sitting up quickly and beginning to gather your towel. “Sure!”
“No!” Chris said a bit too hastily. “I mean, you don’t need to bring your towel…I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“You can’t just leave your stuff on the beach, Chris.” You giggled. 
“It’s not like anyone’s gonna steal it. Just–trust me, please?” he asked, giving you those blue puppy eyes you could never resist. 
“I guess so,” you fake huffed, taking his hand in your own. “C’mon, let’s walk before the sun sets on us, silly.”
Chris smiled, taking your hand in his own and starting the trek down the beach. The ocean was calling him as you two strolled westward towards the sunset, but that would have to wait. At least until he had finished his plan. The silence between you was comfortable like always, but this time it thrummed with passionate energy. Chris was pretty sure you had no idea what he was  planning, but then again, you knew him like the back of your hand.
“This beach is so quiet. It’s nice when it’s just us,” You smiled. “How did you find this place?”
“Oh, y’know, doing what I do best. Poking around.” Your boyfriend laughed nervously as you came to a beautiful expanse of rock along the beach. 
You immediately ran towards the beauty, smiling up at the wonder of nature. “This is gorgeous.”
Chris took the opportunity of you having your back turned to feel in the pocket of his swim trunks for the tiny box that he had been hiding from you for over a month now. He would admit that he had definitely had a bit of a struggle keeping the secret from you, but it was worth it to see you now, on this gorgeous beach, looking even more beautiful than the view around you. The brunette turned his head to where Nick was hiding out of sight, holding his camera. As much as he wanted the two of you to be alone for this, he wanted the pictures infinitely more. He couldn’t wait to tell his kids about what would be the best day of his life one day, that is, if you said yes. 
He took a deep breath, pulling the box out of his pocket and then tapping you on the shoulder. “I have a question for you, ma.”
By the time you had turned around, Chris was on one knew, holding a tiny, velvet box that held a gorgeous, heart-shaped, diamond ring. “Oh my god…” You whispered, hand flying to your mouth as tears welled in your eyes.
“You are my best friend, baby. I’ve loved you ever since I saw you that day in ninth grade algebra class. Finding out you felt the same way about me was probably the best day of my life. You always listen to every crazy, stupid, and dumb idea I have and I love you for it. You know me better than I know myself. I love loving you; you are my first, last, and only love. Will you marry me, Y/N?”
“Oh my god, yes!” You squealed, throwing yourself into his arms as Chris slid the ring onto your finger.
Chris sniffled as he spun you around, hugging you tightly and kissing you. “This is why I’ve been acting weird today,” he chuckled and blushed. “I was worried you’d find out. You know literally everything.”
“Not everything,” You smiled, showing him the diamond. “You kept the secret so well. Who all knows?”
“Well,” Chris admitted shyly as Nick stepped out from his hiding spot. “Nick knows, obviously, because I needed his help capturing the moment. Matt knows too. Other than that, no one else.”
“You’re amazing, Chris,” You whispered, kissing him again. “I’ve wanted to marry you since I was fifteen years old, you know that?”
“I love you so much, ma. Always have and always will.” 
As Nick continued to snap photos of the two of you in front of the sunset on the beach, you couldn’t help but to feel your heart swell. You hadn’t known what was going on with Chris this time, but for once, you didn’t even mind. 
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